#anyway rebel child osha rights

[lovegrowsart]

i need people to recognise that while osha was/is emotionally repressed, that doesn't mean she's innately passive in her personality?? passivity is forced upon her by other characters (primarily sol and the jedi) but since she was a kid she expressed a desire for action and adventure - she was the one sneaking out of the fortress to the bunta tree, desiring her own life outside of the coven and her relationship with mae, drawn to the jedi and their lightsabers, and even when she leaves the jedi order, she doesn't exactly settle down somewhere quiet but goes to the other end of the galaxy and takes up a dangerous mechanic job that's only legal for droids to do while hopping from ship to ship and getting tattoos on drunk nights out with her crew? even in episode five with yord trying to haul her back to the ship, she doesn't exactly go completely willing (sol has to force push her into yord!) and is then the one that convinces yord to go back (💀), and she also immediately latches onto the idea of rejoining the jedi when she thinks sol is offering that at the beginning of episode four, and once she does know the truth, she instinctively force choked sol and bled his lightsaber (even anakin needed more convincing/encouragement to go dark side than she did)

mae comes across are more active/aggressive because she's more emotionally open/driven and has the truth that osha does not (that sol killed their mother) so is therefore incredibly motivated by that truth and desire for revenge/justice - but she's also the one that was comfortable and content with her life in the coven, that seemed to only need osha in her life, that didn't like osha sneaking out of the fortress, that seemed to flourish under the coven's teachings whereas osha chafed against it, doesn't actually seem to like conflict all that much considering how quickly she's willing to give herself up to the jedi once she knows osha is alive and then when she seems content for sol's punishment to be facing the high council/the republic, she seems surprised when she succeeds in killing indara and then doesn't kill the shopkeep alien even though that'd likely (and does) make things harder for her, offers torbin the option of going to the council or taking the poison, and doesn't even kill kelnecca or sol, and generally is clearly not all that committed to the dark side/sith stuff qimir's trying to teach her and spends episode five running from him/pleading for her life over trying to fight him (in comparison osha manages to (temporarily) defeat him by siccing giant bat moths on him)

they're both more complicated than they might appear on the surface!!

[twilightofthe]

Chapter Sixteen liveblog of The Mandalorian Season 2!  Let’s go!!!

It’s the LAST ONE AHHHHHHH!!!!!

DIN BETTER GET HIS SON BACK IN THIS EPISODE I SWEAR TO FUCK

THEY WILL NOT MAKE ME WAIT AN ENTIRE ASS YEAR ON A CLIFFHANGER FOR ME TO SEE DIN HOLD HIS SON IN HIS ARMS AGAIN FUCK NO

Also they’ve kept who directed this episode a secret and lemme tell you I’m REAL curious as to who it was

Ok ok ok ok ok.  OK.  Here we go

*screaming intensifies*

Ok we getting RIGHT into a space battle

GETTEM BOBA GET EM

Oh but this is Pershing I’m hesitant about him, he let Din go with the baby last time

Hmmm good guy or bad guy

I feel like I’ve seen the actors of these Imp pilots before

OOP there goes Pilot #2

OOOP YEP PERSHING’S A CLONE ENGINEER OOOOOOOOOOH

Ok this guy’s a dickass extraordinaire 

Leave Cara alone lol Luke blasted everyone who saw Alderaan blow up into smithereens you should know that

Shut up bro someone’s gonna kill you

YEP CARA GOT HIM

WOOOOOAH DRAMATIC OPENING

The title card says “The RESCUE” which implies the baby is being RESCUED do NOT fuck with me here Star Wars 

Ok ok so I have no clue what this planet is I’m curious

Also wait if Pershing’s a clone engineer it’ll be real interesting if he and Boba interact

Oh there’s Bo Katan guess she’s back

OH WHOOP THERE’S A FETT AND A KRYZE MEETING

C’MON STAR WARS DON’T MAKE SATINE LOOK BAD IN THIS I’VE ALREADY GONE TO BAT AND SAID THE FETT EXCOMMUNICATION WASN’T HER FAULT XD

“Not all Mandalorians are bounty hunters” bitch you were a TERRORIST holy SHIT Bo Katan why are you like this

ALDKFSJDLK EVEN BO KATAN IS READY TO SQUARE UP OVER A BABY THAT CUTE

Lol whoop never mind

Uh oh here she goes with Boba

To glass eh?

PRINCESS OOOOOH

AND THE CLONES BOOTED MAUL OFF YOUR PLANET AND BAILED YOUR ASS OUT THE FIRST TIME ASSHOLE JESUS

TWICE YOU HAVE LOST YOUR PLANET TWICE

Wait what now about the Darksaber

So it’s a super special cutting saber?  Tf?

THE CHILD IS MY ONLY PRIORITY AAAAAAAA

Lol something tells me Pershing’s not gonna make it past this episode he knows too much and is giving too much information 

The lesbian energy in this scene is immense btw

Booooo you’re talking a BIG game rn

Y’all have no idea how fucking much I love that Boba’s calling Bo Katan princess it’s the funniest thing

Hmmmmmm honestly they should have expected they’d send TIEs instead

HMMMM GIDEON’S GONNA KILL Y’ALL

Lol Bo who taught you to fly

OH NO OH NO IT’S A TRAP I THINK GIDEON KNEW

Wait a minute fucking duh Gideon knew it was Bo Katan’s voice on the comms he’s met her AHHHHHHH

Aaaaaand here come the terminators

Ohhh so I guess Bo and Fennec and the wlw squad are the distraction

MORE LACK OF OSHA VIOLATIONS AGAIN FOR FUCK SAKE THAT IS DEEP SPACE GODDAMMIT

YAYYYYY GIRLS

Ok so it’s taken this long for Mando to pass the Bechdel test but ngl this is worth it

Wait a fuck so where’s Pershing in all of this?  With Boba?

WELL DIN MAYBE IF YOU HAD RAN A BIT FASTER YOU WOULDN’T BE FIGHTING THE TERMINATOR AHHHHHHHHH

Ok so THERE’S the spear

Hahaaaaa he spaced all the Terminators hahahaha

GIDEON’S GUARDING THE BABY AS YOU SHOULD KNOW BO KATAN

If he’s holding the Darksaber to the baby’s neck I swear--

AAAAAAAHHHHH I FUCKING KNEW IT LEAVE HIM THE FUCK ALONE ASSHOLE FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

STOP IT

Ok fine Thrawn 2.0

DON’T TRUST HIIIIIIIIM DON’T TRUST HIM DON’T TRUST HIM DON’T TRUST HIIIIIIIIIIIIIM

I HATE THIS ALL SO MUCH DIE BITCH DIE

NONONONONONONONONONONONONO

AAAAHHHHH I KNEW IT

GET THE SPEAR DIN GET THE SPEAR

THE SPEAR THE SPEAR AAAAHHHHH YES

Ok how is it possible so far that not even Din’s CLOAK has been sliced off

AHAHAHA NO BITCH KILL HIM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Oho so we getting some Bo and Gideon drama now!

Whaaaaat since when Sabine gave it to Bo Katan no fight?????

Ooooop the Terminators are back

I knew this was too easy

The Terminators coming back now are like when you roll a nat 20 earlier in a RPG and get rid of one of the really cool bosses the DM wanted to use and now the DM’s like “nOPE I’M STILL USING THEM”

FFS HE HAS A LOCKPICK NOOOOOOOOO

OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO BABY DOESN’T LOOK TOO GOOD AAAAHHHHH HEEEEEEELP

Gideon Shut The FUCK Up Challenge

Oh NOW who’s showing up

Who’s in the X Wiiiiiiiing

I DON’T LIKE THIS WHO IS THIS WHO 

Ahsoka???

NO WRONG HEAD SHAPE

THAT’S A LIGHTSABER AAAAAAAAA WHO WHO WHAT

LUKE OR EZRA GREEN GREEN GREEN GREEN THAT’S LUKE OR EZRA THAT’S ONE OF MY BOYS HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIIIIIIIT AAAAHHHHHHH

I don’t know if Ezra could take out all those terminators that easily though

OK RIGHT HAND BLACK GLOVE??????

But is that Luke’s saber tho I can’t tell I don’t know?!?!?!??!?!

YEP THE OTHER HAND DOESN’T HAVE A GLOVE THAT’S LUKE THAT’S LUKE THAT’S LUKE THAT’S LUUUUUUUKE!!!! 

I’M GONNA CRY

OH SHIT BO’S DOWN OH SHIT

WHOOP CARA GOT GIDEON NOOOOO JUST LET HIM DIE GAH

And the baby sees the Jedi aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

OK JEDI VS DARKTROOPERS COME ON LUKE GET EM

WAIT NO THAT HAND DIDN’T LOOK WHITE THO COULD IT BE EZRA?

NO BUT THE ONE BLACK GLOVE

Y’ALL I AM ON CLOUD NINE RIGHT NOW THIS HAS MADE ME THE HAPPIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD

Ok good I think Bo’s back up again

LUKELUKELUKELUKELUKE?????

YEP I’D KNOW THAT GAY-ASS BELT ANYWHERE

IT’S HIIIIIIIM

I’M FUCKING CRYING OH MY GOD

IS HE A JEDI BIIIIIITCH

Ok the CGI Mark’s kinda scary ngl

Ok Baby’s not gonna wanna go with him and Disney BETTER not make Luke look bad when he says no

OH SHIT HE TOOK HIS HELMET OFF SO THE BABY COULD SEE HIS FACE KSLDJKLSJKLFSDLKJFJKLSAKJ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I’M GONNA FUCKIN DIE THIS IS TOO MUCH THIS IS WAAAAAAAAAAY TOO MUCH FOR MY HEART

OH NO OH NO OH NO DIN NOOOOOOO DON’T LEAE YOUR SON

NO 

NO NONO NO NO NO HE LOVES YOU

EVERYONE ELSE COVER YOUR EYES FUCKERS

Ok now R2 is just fanservice lmao

Ok now it is ILLEGAL Luke never called this kid Baby Yoda he would ABSOLUTELY do so 

OK ALSO BUT LUKE HOLDING HIS BABY GRANDMASTER IS THE CUTEST THING IN THE UNIVERSE

OK OK OK BUT ALSO NO LUKE YOU GOTTA GIVE HIM BACK NOW

DIN’S CRYING HONEY NOOOOOOOO

That’s IT

what the FUCK NOOOOOOOO

OK THIS WAS A GOOD END BUT AT THE SAME TIME NOOOOOO YODITO CAN’T STAY WITH LUKE WITH HIS MURDER-HAPPY HELLSPAWN NEPHEW AROUND

Also who’s Peyton Reed?

Anyway but AHHHHHH ok so this is setting up a conflict of Mando succession where once again I don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about, Bo took the Darksaber just fine from Sabine in Rebels without a fight????????

Gah it’s early and I’m still tired talk later

but AHHHHHH

[teamwynn]

The Night Voice Retrospective, Pt. 12

[Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 11.5 | Part 12]

Well, here we are. The final scene. The last precious few moments of the saga. And they are, naturally, utterly wasted. Please, join me in reviewing this thrilling conclusion, and marvel at how dead I am inside.

Welcome Home, Wherever That Is (I guess we’re just done now)

Okay, so now that Team Wynn is fucking decimated with one exiled, one dead, and one suicidal, let’s see if Team Magiere can swing a happier ending. Let’s return to where the prologue left off.

The unbelievably good news is that Team Magiere is still all together. And I mean that “unbelievably” literally, because Chap is now about 50 years old, which is 350 in dog years. I’ll chalk that up to being majay-hi or Fay or whatever, but Jesus. Chill, man. Anyway, they’ve returned home where Leesil--in this book’s shining moment of having someone actually be in-character--apparently just keeps adopting, like, hordes of children. This horde includes Wayfarer, but Magiere’s already made it clear that she was going to adopt Wayfarer, anyway, so no surprise here. It also includes, at this point, at least 6 unidentified boys. And we receive confirmation from what was hinted at in the prologue that Wayfarer and Osha, at some point between the main ending and the epilogue, got married--

Okay, you know what. You know the fuck what. Fucking.

I need a moment.

…

Okay.

So, if the series tried to pull this kind of thing in Between Their Worlds, I probably could have bought it. Without the knowledge of The Dark and the Dark through The Night Voice, I could have bought that Wayfarer and Osha were able to work their way through the bullshit that Osha pulled on her. If it had skipped from BTW to this epilogue, I could have reasonably believed that Osha apologized and made up for abandoning Wayfarer at the end of BTW and that she would forgive him.

But! That’s significantly harder to swallow knowing what we know from the rest of Series 3, which is:

Osha’s     motivation for abandoning Wayfarer was entirely centered on his effort to     get Wynn to make out with him again and no other reason

Osha     deadnamed Wayfarer multiple times in FaLS

Even     after Osha appeared to learn his lesson about why deadnaming Wayfarer was     wrong later in FaLS, he continued to do it in TNV

Wayfarer     pretty explicitly indicated in TNV that she no longer had a crush on Osha,     and not only that, but that she didn’t want to be friends or even speak to     him anymore

Their     last on-page interaction before the epilogue is Osha freaking out over     Wynn being blinded while Wayfarer is right there and basically going, “I     mean, I’m risking my life in the middle of the battle too, but yeah, no,     keep throwing a fit about this like Wynn’s the only person in mortal     danger here. Asshole.”

So how did we get from that to married? And could it possibly get worse?

Why do I even pretend to ask. Of course it could. This scene is like 3 pages long, but it somehow packs even more bullshit into fewer words than the previous scene.

So, not only are Wayfarer and Osha inexplicably married, but when Magiere asks about how Osha is doing, Wayfarer indicates in no uncertain terms that he’s still hung up about Wynn--30 years later and after seemingly not ever speaking to her in that entire time--and that he might be dying from that weird elven sexual-imprinting thing because of it. That’s alarming news! How is Magiere going to react to that?

Why, naturally by laughing it off and making oblique references to Osha’s current profession, which is something that is entirely unexplained, though it’s doubtful an explanation would clarify the nonsense that is Osha the Reindeer Farmer or whatever the fuck he’s doing with his life. Again, Magiere’s reference to his current occupation is pretty fucking vague beyond that it involves those magical deer that Osha hated. Oh, that wacky Osha! Always playing with deer and literally dying of heartbreak! What a scamp!

There’s not really much more detail beyond that for either Wayfarer or Osha’s endings that I haven’t already covered, except for these uncomfortable observations about how they fit into Team Magiere’s family structure:

Wayfarer,     who had a massive crush on Leesil in Rebel     Fay, is now calling him “Father.” NO THANKS.

If     Wayfarer is Magiere and Leesil’s daughter and Osha is her husband, that     makes Osha Magiere and Leesil’s son-in-law. What. The fuck. How is that an     actual thing that happened in canon???

Okay, now that we’re all sufficiently grossed out, let’s go more over the core team’s ending. Of course, returning to Miiska is something that has been a long time coming for Team Magiere. They haven’t been home since Child of a Dead God, when Magiere and Leesil had their wedding surrounded by loved ones and held the reception at the Sea Lion Tavern, the Ground Zero of all this vampire nonsense. So their ultimate return home should be at least as celebratory and communal as that, right?

Obviously this scene is set some time after they arrive back home, so it makes sense that they wouldn’t necessarily still be partying about that, but there’s still something suspiciously… I don’t know, absent about their homecoming. Like… all the people. And the town. And the tavern.

Did… did they even go back to Miiska? The town and the tavern were both mentioned by name at least once (maybe exactly once), but there’s not really any sense of the characters actually being there. And none of the townspeople (those minor characters from Dhampir, etc. that I mentioned a few posts back) are present at all, even though a number of them should still be perfectly alive to share in this happy (?) ending. What we get instead is Magiere and Leesil existing in this textureless void with their family of nameless, faceless young boys and Wayfarer on the side predicting the doom of Osha as well as Chap (both of whom are off-page this whole time, mind. Oh, did I forget to mention that Chap doesn’t even appear in the epilogue, despite somehow unbelievably surviving the entire saga? Because he doesn’t.) But Magiere gives about as much of a fuck about any of that as she did about Wynn dying, which is to say, not at all.

So, what is… even happening here?

Well, aside from Wayfarer helpfully reminding everyone that Death Comes For All, Magiere is just kind of blandly resigning herself to the reality that that includes Leesil, and that someday it’s just going to be her and Chane, eternally avoiding each other. (And Pawl, too, but obviously I’ll give Magiere a pass on not bringing him up because she never even found out that Pawl existed.) There’s also some weird musings on Magiere’s part about the fact that Chane probably has a soul, which has never been in question before so I don’t know why she’s so amazed by this probability. Like, vampires having or not having souls have never been a part of the lore in the series, and even if it was it doesn’t pertain to anything now. And for some reason she essentially lies to Leesil about not killing Chane--it’s neither clear why Leesil is gunning so hard for Chane to be dead at this point, nor why Magiere was unwilling to admit that she didn’t kill him again. She just kind of avoids Leesil’s questions about the matter and goes on blandly commentating for a few paragraphs about Osha and Leesil’s army of children. But I guess Magiere is happy with her existence in this vague void, waiting for the clock to run down on all her loved ones, comforted only by her smugness from seeing Chane cry. And… um…

No, seriously, what is happening here?

Did the epilogue already waste up all its emotional weight on contriving Team Wynn into the most melodramatically tragic situation possible that it’s just completely burnt out here? This whole scene just feels like a shadow-puppet of Magiere strolling across a completely blank background going, “I have family, death happens, sad but also happy, END.”

You know what, Magiere? You know what? I’m glad END. This book couldn’t fucking END too soon. Over 400-pages of complete fucking gibberish to cap off my favorite series of all time, because it wasn’t enough for the Noble Dead Saga to END poorly, but it had to make a goddamn show of it. I am genuinely amazed at how little this book delivered on actually ENDing anything. The number of plot holes and loose ends and retrograding character arcs is truly impressive, and on top of all that, this book had the audacity to not be audacious with all of that. This wild departure from the rest of the saga couldn’t have included alien invasions or dinosaur clones or any shit like that, no--this book managed to be an utterly convoluted counter-narrative to all the books that came before it while also maintaining a complete cardboard blandness. Truly astonishing that a book so contrived could also be so utterly ankle-deep shallow. This book fucking tangled itself in knots with teleportation trees and dog armies and battles in the center of il’Sanke’s mind and whatever the fuck either the wraith or the necromancer were doing in this book at all, and at the end of all of that, Magiere’s happy ending is just being kind of quietly pleased that her husband isn’t dead yet.

I am beyond myself in amazement. And I am so, so fucking tired.

Well, that’s it for every plot point in TNV that sent me into a frothing rage. Tomorrow I’ll be writing up a conclusion to all of this, because god damn I need some proper closure somewhere.