#anyway pt1/2 because it was a bit long to fit in one

[rhotanored]

negative personality traits [pt.1]

Rules : bold traits that apply always. italicize occasional or situational traits.

Renh: aggressive | arrogant | authoritarian | bitter | brutal | callous | cannibal | careless | cold/cold-hearted | compulsive | controlling | corrects others constantly | cowardly | critical | cruel | delusional | demanding | disillusioned | domineering | envious | emotionally stunted | greedy | grim | guarded | hard | harsh | hypocritical | impatient | impolite | intimidating | irritable | kidnapper | lazy | liar | lustful | manipulative | materialistic | mean | merciless | messianic | mistrusting | murderer | narrow-minded | obsessive | opinionated | over-bearing | over-critical | over-emotional | over-thinking | patronizing | proud | remote | repressed | rigid | rules with an iron fist | ruthless | sarcastic | self-righteous | self-indulgent | serial killer | taciturn | torturer | touchy | traitorous | unsympathetic | unpredictable | uptight | vain | vengeful

Beset: aggressive | arrogant | authoritarian | bitter | brutal | callous | cannibal | careless | cold/cold-hearted | compulsive | controlling | corrects others constantly | cowardly | critical | cruel | delusional | demanding | disillusioned | domineering | envious | emotionally stunted | greedy | grim | guarded | hard | harsh | hypocritical | impatient | impolite | intimidating | irritable | kidnapper | lazy | liar | lustful | manipulative | materialistic | mean | merciless | messianic | mistrusting | murderer | narrow-minded | obsessive | opinionated | over-bearing | over-critical | over-emotional | over-thinking | patronizing | proud | remote | repressed | rigid | rules with an iron fist | ruthless | sarcastic | self-righteous | self-indulgent | serial killer | taciturn | torturer | touchy | traitorous | unsympathetic | unpredictable | uptight | vain | vengeful

A’mariss: aggressive | arrogant | authoritarian | bitter | brutal | callous | cannibal | careless | cold/cold-hearted | compulsive | controlling | corrects others constantly | cowardly | critical | cruel | delusional | demanding | disillusioned | domineering | envious | emotionally stunted | greedy | grim | guarded | hard | harsh | hypocritical | impatient | impolite | intimidating | irritable | kidnapper | lazy | liar | lustful | manipulative | materialistic | mean | merciless | messianic | mistrusting | murderer | narrow-minded | obsessive | opinionated | over-bearing | over-critical | over-emotional | over-thinking | patronizing | proud | remote | repressed | rigid | rules with an iron fist | ruthless | sarcastic | self-righteous | self-indulgent | serial killer | taciturn | torturer | touchy | traitorous | unsympathetic | unpredictable | uptight | vain | vengeful 

Pt 2: [x]

Tagged by: @regalblossom​ (thank you!!♥)

Tagging: :eyes: @ some folks who follow dis blog @placesyoucallhome, @ofdancingballads, @sedatayuun, @koi-x-fish, @huntspeak, @kiara-nocturne, @seda-xiv, @secretsmokeandmirrors, @crowsaerie-rp, @fatewalker, @merosmillionmains​, @vysaldhe, @pocketninja-ffxiv, @an-honest-waltz, + like anyone else who sees this and hasn’t done it already, I’m sure this has done the rounds before!!

[d20owlbear]

Because I'm a poor fucking sucker for a priest au. Please please go see @gayforgoodomens 's au pt1 pt2 pt3 (edit cause I tagged the whole wrong ass blog)

Father Fell returned back to the parish and closed the large doors behind him, sighing heavily and slumping against them. It had been a long day, a difficult one too, and it was days like today he could feel himself strain and the faith that always felt so ever-present in him begin to fray. It wouldn't break, it was made of stronger stuff than that and always had been, but when the flock he was responsible for was afflicted with death and sickness and anger, he couldn't help but feel like a rope run over the edge of a knife. Prickly and halfway to falling apart.

He'd needed all the strength he'd prayed for, and every moment he passed further than he thought he would be able to, every moment he could comfort and mediate and grieve with his parishioners was a moment granted by God, he was sure of it. But it left him feeling hollow, sometimes, being a vessel of the Lord. Poured out and drained dry.

Father Fell sighed again and bit back an unbecoming curse, which he was loathe to admit he'd picked up from Father Crowley as he gardened. It was his turn to cook today, for the two of them, and he hadn't even thought to stop by somewhere to pick something up. It was already late and he was hungry and beyond the ability to make choices with a muddled head and heavy heart.

Pushing himself off the doors, Father Fell walked past the pews and to the altar, running his fingertips over where he and Antho– Father Crowley prayed in the mornings and at night. It was some comfort, and he could almost imagine the stone was warm to his touch, and the peace of God filled him. It wasn't empty, not really, but he frowned to himself anyway at the lack of wholeness that often came with it and his other routines. He sighed again, and it felt like all the winds of the world had passed through his lungs and the weight of it crushed him at the shoulders. But he repeated to himself a verse that had helped him through till the finish of the day numerous times before, "That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."*

It didn't help, not much, but he'd take any bolstering the Lord would grant him at that moment. Turning, he tottered off towards the back rooms where the kitchen and, more importantly his and Father Crowley's living quarters, were. He would need to beg off tonight and hope the man would be merciful enough not to tease too much before taking in the burden of dinner for the night. At this point, he'd settle for barely doctored, tinned soup or leftovers if they had any. He was just so tired...

Once at the kitchen, Father Fell stopped in the doorway, just underneath the lintel, struck dumb at the scene before him. Anth– Father Crowley was at the counter chopping a few carrots and celery it looked like and onion too perhaps, with a white apron wrapped around him in a stark contrast to his black clothes. While Father Fell tended to wear the more traditional cassock and clothing, Father Crowley often wore plain black with a detachable collar or clerical tab about the neck.

It was... surprising to find him here like this, though maybe it shouldn't have been.

Father Fell hummed under his breath, a tuneless noise as his nerves acted up once more. Father Crowley turned and his eyes opened in surprise, matching the look on Father Fell's face, he was sure, at the sunglasses hung at the corner of the apron’s collar.

"Good evening– oh you look nervous. Bad day?" Father Cro– Anthony asked. His arms opened and he stepped closer, inviting Aziraphale into his arms for comfort, and Aziraphale felt like he was home.

Aziraphale stepped forward and let himself be caught up in Crowley's arms. His chin rested on Crowley's shoulder and he paid no mind to the way the sunglasses dug into his chest and how lovely it felt to have Anthony wrapped up around him and stroking his back kindly, or how nice it was to hold onto someone pouring into him for once, rather than relying on him to be a font of godly comfort.

He sighed, as heavily as before, but felt as if he were being filled, slowly and steadily so as not to shatter a too-dry earthen vessel.

"There, there, angel. I made your favorite." Anthony murmured so that only Aziraphale would hear him, not that anyone was around to do so. And Aziraphale could only hum again and nod his thanks wordlessly, turning his face to bury it in the crook of Anthony's neck.

God had seen fit to give him Anthony as a companion, to help him tend the flock, a fellow shepherd to guide and soothe and care for them. And Aziraphale, in no moment more than this, was filled to the brim and overfloweth with gratitude for it.

"Go on now," Anthony gave him one last squeeze to put him to rights and helped him stand fully under his own power once more, "Set the table and tell me about it. If you like... You could sit and read, if that would be better. Or both, dinner is still a good half hour away. Mrs. Calvin thought you'd be caught up with the debacle with the Northridge houses a bit longer. They settled down finally?"

Aziraphale hummed again and did not need to sigh, for the breath in his lungs came and went easily with no more weight on him than what his shoulders provided naturally. God was good, he thought, to give him such a companion to love dearly as this.

*2 Corinthians 12:10

((Edit again, there’s more now!! Read the whole series, which I’m still adding more to, here! https://archiveofourown.org/series/1938955)

[anakinthetrashking]

BnHA One-Shot Fic Recs (pt1)

Making some fic-rec posts has been on my to-do list for a while and I’m finally doing it, yay! Currently I have 6 word doc pages full of just BnHA recs. So I’m splitting them up by length and completion, so first up is (part one of) one-shots! Let’s go!!!

Lets start with some classic Izuku and DadMight!

Pictures, Posters and Tender Beauty by ProPinkist (tumblr: @dazais-guardian-angel ) Rating: G    Category: Gen   ~4,400 words Summary: Izuku has virtually every All Might-themed item out there, and prides himself on all of it, as Toshinori is well aware. However, somehow, the boy still decided that there was something vital missing. This is fluffy and very cute. No one truly appreciates All Might as much as Izuku does, but 1A comes close. All Might deserves all the love, and this fic truly provides!!!

Dear Mr. All Might by QuizzicalCrow (tumblr: @quizzicalcrow​ ) Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~5,000 words Summary: As the #1 hero for decades, All Might has collected a lot of fan mail over the years. Toshinori tracks down a series of letters that only now, years later, does he appreciate for their significance.  I always love the thought of All Might looking through his fan mail, even if he can’t get to all of it. This was a wonderful glimpse into that AND it was made to be so, so personal and sweet. Go have some heart-healing fluff.

Growing Pains by LordofLies (tumblr: @theangelofchildren ) Rating: G   Category: Gen    ~5,900 words Summary: Izuku finds himself changed by his encounter with the Hero Killer, but changes of a more physical kind are in store for him as he begins to truly accept One for All as his own. Once, he would have been thrilled to look more like All Might, but now those connections are as much a source of anxiety as they are of pride.Or, Izuku wakes up one morning and sees the world through different eyes. Izuku having anxiety and Toshi being there to help him through it and calm him down? Sign me UP. Its also a pretty cool take on how One for All is able to change things about it’s holder. Could this happen in cannon? Who knows.... Regardless, it was a great read!

I’ll Carry You Home by Renesvetta Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~2,700 words Summary: While training with All Might, it wasn’t uncommon for Izuku to be so exhausted at the end of the day that he unwittingly fell asleep without regard for where he was. It consequently became part of All Might’s routine to help his young protégé home. During that time, Izuku may have let loose more than one sleepy confession towards his mentor.  Yes, it is as adorable as it sounds. Its tagged with “self indulgent Dad Might fluff” which is both accurate and appreciated. In other words: Superb you funky little writer!

Simple Gifts by QuizzicalCrow Rating: G    Category: Gen   ~6,700 words Summary: One year ago, Izuku received the greatest gift he could ever imagine. Now he’s determined to return the favor for the one responsible for it all with a gift of his own.  First off, I love the idea of Izuku and Toshi quietly celebrating the anniversary of passing on OfA from All Might to Izuku. Even just taking the day to hang out with each other. It’s a really precious idea. But there’s not just fluff! Izuku finds himself in a fight, again. (cool villain quirk, too!) I love all of the small details that are in this fic (and in Crow’s other works, too!) anyway its exciting AND very heartwarming, so go read it!!!

Affectionate by Sevi007 (tumblr: @sevi007 ) Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~2,600 words Summary: Toshinori starts to show affection very easily around his students. The  reactions he gets for that are not quite the ones he had anticipated - well, not all of them, at least.  Toshi is LOVED, APPRECIATED, and 1A feels like HOME. how many times can i say “cute” and “heartwarming” on this post?? bc these are some amazing writers, whom I adore, and their writing makes my heart WARM. AND. FUZZY. i mean, even just the first few paragraphs of this one just, really sets the scene of what i like to believe the 1A dorm is (on a good day, lol). its a really nice read, so go treat yo’ self by reading it.

paint me in trust by dinomight Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~6,400 words Summary: The first mark Izuku gets is a slight brush of green across his temple. It’s the soft touch of a mother holding her son for the first time. Inko has one to match, the same shade of green staining the tips of her fingers. Hers is more noticeable; Izuku’s tends to blend into his hairline. He loves it anyways. He has to. It’s the only soulmate mark he has. (Or: how Izuku goes from just green to a rainbow, UA-style.)  Ok, so this fic sort of plays off the idea of soulmates, and does not fit in with soulmates in the usual form of the trope. First off its completely platonic. Its categorized as Gen and sticks to that. Also it doesn’t seem to be as obligatory and permanent as you would think it would be. It seems to be more of the universe telling you who has the possibility of being important in your life. I really really loved this, it was so adorable and gives you that sweet, sweet Izuku angst, before healing your heart with the power of friendship and found family!!!

The Die Has Been Cast by ChiwiTheKiwi (tumblr: @chiwithekiwi​ ) Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~5,400 words Summary: “There’s something about that kid you aren’t telling me, isn’t there?”When no answer meets him, Shouta tries again.“You know something about Midoriya’s quirk that you haven’t shared with me. Is that right?”(Or: A canon "What If" surrounding the latest manga events and focusing on Aizawa finally making a connection.) First off, this fic has spoilers for the manga, so dont read unless you’re past chp212! I loooooooove OfA reveal fics, especially when it’s Aizawa that finds out. He deserves to know!!! its kind of important!!!! This fic chooses a great moment to work off of, and does a great job with Aizawa’s character. I really enjoyed it and couldn’t keep myself from going back and reading it just now LOL

These last two are actually two-shots, but it makes it an even 10! also Izuku and dadmight, so we can continue the theme here...

Some Unspoken Thing by LittleKy Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~7,900 words (2chps) Green, Toshinori has always thought, is the color of life anew.(Or: It's time for Yagi Toshinori to finally accept that he has a son, now, in all but blood. It's time for Midoriya Hisashi to accept that as well.) YES ALL MIGHT! ADMIT THAT IZUKU IS YOUR SON! great portrayal of the characters and really hits the nail on the head for DadMight. and Izuku in this story is just the smallest green floof that you wish to give a hug. NEVER MIND ALL MIGHT, YOU TOOK TOO LONG SO IZUKU IS MY SON NOW AND IM NOT GIVING HIM BACK ( no but seriously i want to hug this fic its so cute TTuTT )

LAST BUT NOT LEAST! I See You by BirdAntlers (tumblr: @aarymk )

Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~15,400 words (2chps) Midoriya Izuku is a quirkless child, blind from birth. Yagi Toshinori is the most powerful man in the world, loved by millions. They could not be more different, and yet their loneliness is the same.   (From a pair of AU posts on Tumblr that got way out of hand; I wanted to put it here because it turned into more of a fic than a "what-if." Basically a vessel for me to vomit as much Dadmight as I can.) Hey, you! Yeah! You! Do you want to cry? Do you want to start sobbing in a public space?? Do you just want to be destroyed with words and be left there kneeling at the feet of a writer who has torn out your heart and stomped on it before they gently wipe the tears from your face? Yeah?? y oU Wan NA D IE??? READ THIS AND GET REKT.  you’ll thank me later

(under the cut is just me rambling, i kept all the important stuff up here, ur welcome)

Now that the actual recs are over I can rant here- look i really tried to slim my recs down, but i have almost 300 bnha fics bookmarked,some of them are “to read” or theyre in progress, etc but i managed to get this list sorta slimmed down? a little?(to only 58!!!) but as i was gathering this post together it felt like i dont have very many Dadmight recs on that list??? but i havent rechecked all the other fics i was just going through the oneshots. i... kinda read a lot more fics with AIzawa in it instead. it be that way. DadMight content is SO GOOD. but my fav is aizawa im sorryyyyy anyway i have another SEVENteeN oneshots to put in rec posts and that does NOT include the mulitchapter and friikin series and stuff... and like i said this is aaaaaaallllllllllllllll BnHA. batfam fic posts will come after, and then star wars, and then maybe star trek? we’ll see. i have a very specific taste in ST fics and that is Tarsus IV whump. which. i have not read in a while. when they say “that trope came from ST” for sooooooo many tropes, you WISH other fandoms had tarsus as a trope, holy crap it is TOP TIER angst fodder. if you love to write/read whump, angst, and h/c i would HIGHLY recommend that you take a bit of time and explore the content and stories there. heck maybe i will make a ficrec post for just tarsus angst. ok.

my INTENTION is to edit these posts later with little links to the other fic rec lists so that itll be easier to find. but., its me, so itll either happen in painful detail or not at all

asdjkdgh its 2:30am and i need to sleep and not be rambling incoherently again I WILL SAVE THIS AS A DRAFT. 

[ais-n]

Pt1. So this might be totally random and maybe even a little bit weird or out of place, but I’ve been thinking about this for a while and may I just say I am proud? Happy? For the way you’ve handles the whole situation and how you still are. Like I don’t wanna sound like I’m putting others down but I can think of a handful of authors who if in your place would be less mature about the whole ordeal. I know thats random but it just made me happy and really proud to look up to you.

Pt 2 Like I know what they did was horrible, but something that really stuck out to me in your statement was your kindness to even offer help to “them” if they wanted to make things right. And I’m not saying that’s always the answer but I feel like that kind of approach with the whole situation was possibly the one with the most effect if “they” should’ve messaged.

Pt 3 I know you’re probs tired of having the whole thing brought up, but yeah thanks for being so mature and as level headed as you can be about something like what happened. (Sorry for this long random weird ask)

+   +  +

I combined these into one, I hope you don’t mind! Also, jeez I’m so sorry, I have no idea how long ago you sent this. I didn’t mean to be an asshole and not reply sooner T_T I honestly don’t get how I have such a hell of a time seeing ask notifications on tumblr anymore. I swear I used to see them so much easier. Maybe it’s just that I went so long not getting asks I don’t expect them...

Anyway - 

Not a long, random, weird ask, don’t worry! And even if it were, lol, you’re talking to the queen of long, random, weird posts - so it would fit right in regardless ;)

I don’t mind you bringing it up; it’s sort of impossible not to when a person is talking about ICoS. Plus, as bizarre as it continues to be to me that anything like this actually happened in my life, it’s still a part of my life so it would be silly to pretend it wasn’t or to try ignoring it all now. That seems like it wouldn’t help me or anyone at all, really.

I still feel so bad about everything, though. It just makes me feel so sad all around. I feel bad for “them” because I feel like something really has to have been difficult or complicated in their lives for them to do what they did, so consistently, for so long. I worry about their mental health, about them getting help, about their stability. And I feel so bad for everyone who was hurt in the process of it all - all the people who were innocent bystanders who became collateral damage; all the people who were excited about something and reached out and just wanted to make a connection, and in the process felt devastated or traumatized in the long run by what they found. 

It’s so damn sad. So many people hurting others and being hurt for what feels like no good reason. I wish there had been a way to stop it all from happening, or end it sooner, or I don’t know, just - help. 

I had a lot of mixed emotions initially when it all came out but as time has passed, when I think back, the primary emotion I feel is sad. Especially because, in addition to everything else, their actions ended up casting a pall on the series, and that’s really sad to me too because there are people who felt a real connection through the story - be it the characters or the people they met in the community - and now I worry for those people feeling like they have to question or judge themselves, or even distance themselves, from something that they felt was helpful at the time but now they wonder if they were wrong.

I don’t think anyone who felt a connection to ICoS was wrong to feel that way, regardless of what “Sonny” ended up being/doing in the end. Stories speak to us for different reasons, and I tend to be of the opinion that the writer of a story isn’t the god of that story. A story or characters can still have genuinely good impact on a person regardless of if the writer is terrible. I know not everyone agrees with that, and I understand why they don’t and I can’t even really fully argue against their points because I see value in their points as well. It may simply be that I try as much as possible to always see others as humans first and everything else second, and because I think of humans as highly fallible, very prone to making mistakes or being short-sighted at times, to me I guess I always choose to think of it as a person always has another chance to make another choice. They can change how they interact with others or the world at any second of the day if they choose to do so. 

It doesn’t mean it’s a simple switch; that choice may entail a very long and rocky journey that may never be over -- it may mean making the decision to seek counseling if possible, or finding safe people to open up to, or starting to (safely) research and seek out communities that may reflect what’s happening in their mind... It may mean putting oneself into a position to constantly have to stop and question for months or years every second of the day if what they are doing fits their new code/path or not. It may mean that seemingly simply choice will lead to a lifetime of a pain in the ass - but that choice is still there. A person can still choose to make that effort. And sometimes, it’s our past mistakes that are our greatest motivation for making that choice, and going through those ups and downs. So I feel like it’s important to be as open-eyed and open-minded as possible about our past missteps (even if those rise to much higher levels than something as simple as a cute little mistake) and make an effort to change our future to better honor what we should have been in our past.

That may or may not be the right answer to everything; I don’t know. It’s just how I view the world, and so it’s how I tend to live, or at least do my best to follow. I do think that sort of mindset makes me vulnerable to taking the same steps at times of giving the benefit of the doubt for perhaps longer than I should, for holding out hope that others will take responsibility for their actions and learn from their mistakes, for continuing to believe there’s a chance things can resolve better in the future and those who were hurt will get a chance for closure. In a way, that mindset likely makes it easy to take advantage of my ongoing hope for other people, and also likely makes it so I don’t see the dangers of things as they’re occurring because I want to believe other people care about other people as much as I do. 

I suppose some people would take this as indication that they should change, but I don’t really feel like I should. I feel like it’s on other people to take responsibility for their actions, to prove themselves to be better than they were, to show they are willing to show humility, to improve, to care. I don’t personally feel like the answer to the conundrum is for me to change to be more like the things I don’t care for in response to things people have done to or around me; rather, I feel like as much as I am able, I want to keep trying to be what feels most right for me, even if that comes off as easy to manipulate, because I just really don’t like the idea of anyone else convincing me I can’t and shouldn’t be who I truly am simply because of their actions. As sad as I may be by what other people choose to do with their lives, as angry as it sometimes makes me, as frustrated as I get, I still want them to have another chance if they will use it. Because ultimately, what helps everyone is if they get help and they improve; not me changing to reflect their negativity and creating or continuing unnecessary cycles of pain, abuse, violence, or whatever else may be thrown one’s way.

I keep telling my parents that if I’m murdered for some reason in my life, they damn well better not use that as an excuse to send hate out there to the world in my name. I don’t want that. I would much rather there be something productive or positive... create a law that protects people who are in a position I was where I wasn’t protected, or build a non-profit that helps prevent my tragedy, or brings community and aid to the families and friends left behind from others like me. Something like that. Not self-righteous anger being used to justify more distance being spread between the people of this world.

That’s a tangent, but I mention it in part because I have very little hope my parents would follow through with my request. They’re much more in the mindset of retribution than I am. So hey, here’s my official request for others out there to remember I want something nice and productive and caring or protective done in my name in the event of tragedy, not something that at the heart of it is motivated solely by fear, pain, anger and hatred.

Anyway - that was a tl;dr of saying thanks but honestly I don’t know that I’m anyone to look up to in particular - there are way cooler people to look up to, like Malala, for example. I think I just have a thought process that’s probably pretty typical for people of my type of personality, and so in that way I’m probably a dime a dozen. I bet you are super awesome, yourself, and you probably would react the same way as me in this situation. But I appreciate the sentiment and I’m wishing you all the very best, and truly hope you and those you love are safe and healthy during these strange times.

PS: I didn’t bother putting this behind a cut because sometimes I have issues getting that to show on phones for people but if anyone is annoyed by this long ass thing on their dashboard and want me to edit it to have a cut, let me know and I can.

[tartareus]

CAOS MUSES CANON DIVERGENCE; not unlike many here, i too found the third act of sabrina’s adventures a bit…lacking, to say the least. bad writing got me more and throwing character development to the bin made me finally decide that i am not going to accept most of what happened as true -  i will, however try to keep the changes to mininal as a say to make canon complying muses’ interactions with mine run smoothly.

for starters: my edward, salem and my della are primarily based on the comics (the chilling adventures of sabrina and sabrina the teenage witch) + my own head canons, therefore do expect their nature to be a bit darker\different than the show presents them. with that in mind…

edward did not die - he was in a circle of hell trapped inside a tree. once lucifer’s power over hell waned, the prision that kept the warlock there started to weaken and, thus, eventually he got out, finally free… only to find himself in…

queen lilith’s hell - yes, i am not going for that idea of lilith not being their queen, more than anyone else she does deserve the title, she worked for it and there is no point to not make all the effort during pt1 and 2 to go without a reward; for that to happen, though, i still accept the plot that sabrina went after nick, but instead of just taking satan back to earth…

edward becomes the morningstar’s host - besides being more than capable of taking him, edward is a known, talented, conjurer, had a somewhat deal or even relationship with empusa (a shape shifting demon), he knows how demons work. he knows what to expect and, other than that, he knows the boy will struggle. he won’t. although his very own existence is kept a secret from sabrina, in a similar fashion of b.ckwood, instead of struggling for dominance, edward will try and strike a bargain with lucifer (unknown to anyone else), if only to be sure that everything goes along with his own secret agenda…

he still helps zelda, though - as he is in hell and is not dead but trapped there, he makes use of some of lucifer’s powers to cross the veil and go for their aid.

della still remains a head witch - that is, still works for the council in rome, but with a slighly different twist. she herself is a hedgewitch. i’ve thought about this, and what it would mean for her character (originally in the sttw comics as sabrina’s mentor and the one that tried to guide her to the path of night, and them also as the queen of sabbath in the tcaos comics) and it seems that it just might fit her character altogether. hedgewitches are, after all, very old, powerful, lone witches who are but a few - which was what i was going for her originally. with that in mind, i have come to an hc that

della has her own very unique abilities - much like gryla, sycorax, and pesta, della possesses her own abilities as her own deal was slightly different. instead of having an aggressive ability like pesta and sycorax, she has a spiritual one - although not too similar from gryla’s ability to gather the spirits of her lads - that is very subtle: she can walk through the veil between the living and the dead, roaming in the in between without the fear of never returning (unless, of course, it is her time). that means that in her astral projections the psychopomps do not acknowledge her presence at all, one of the reasons she was hired by the council.

her age is hard to determinate -  she is clearly younger than the members of the council, but way older than the spellmans. to maintain her youth and looks, and not require a powerful glamour that would make her tired and weak if she kept holding for years, della consumes babies, mostly mortal orphans, in order to survive. that ritual is only required after some centuries (if it is a witch baby) or after the lifetime that mortal would’ve had. for that, it is needless to say that…

her relationship with gryla is of mutual hate and disdain - for the two of them are rivals in their quest for younger souls. although gryla herself has no choice but pick orphans, della prefers them because it usually avoids the whole ordeal of stealing a child. imagine how complicated it must’ve gotten when she answered the distress call from the coven in greendale…

although she is part of not coven, per se, della goes to their aid - or rather, is summoned against her own will, but she’s never going to admit that. particularly taking great joy at hunting the pagans, chasing them off greendale in the timeline that was fixed. in the broken timeline (aka the end of the world), not unlike ambrose (however using slightly shadier strategies) she managed to survive and remained hidden, safe in a witch’s cell in the vatican’s necropolis. sadly, she does end up going a little mad, but before she loses it all…

she manages to send ambrose some books that once belonged to the council - in hopes that these unholy scriptures, that had never been to the access of other witches and warlocks other than the scholars of rome, would help, hoping that he would be able to do what she had failed to: figure a way out of this mess.

salem is not a goblin but, in fact, a mortal curse by a witch he scorned centuries ago. cursed to become her familiar, after the witch he was forcibly bound to died during the salem trials the dark lord himself appeared before him, telling him that he would only lift the curse if he sold his soul to him - which he did, however what samuel (his mortal name) failed to realise was that he had not been specific as the date he should be free and, as such, the father of lies told him he would only be free once he had met, served and protected a white haired witch that was and was not daughter of night. it took centuries for him to find her, but when he saw sabrina he knew inside his old bones that it was her. 

he has come to terms to his current situation - he used to be a good christian, yes a bit reckless and an asshole with how he treated women, but he changed.  it was a hard lesson he had to learn. as he learned to repent, he also learned to understand the nature of witches better. they reacted with what they had. as such, he started to grow fond of sabrina and her family, even her friends (although he does not fancy being treated like an ordinary house pet).

he never liked robin nor lilith (when she was pretending to be ms wardwell), hissing soundly at them as he deemed them a probably threat to his witch.

lucifer granted him a couple of gifts to endure his long life - magical abilities akin to a warlock’s (but never enough to turn himself into human again, at least not for a long while) and speech (although he spent such a long time silent that he wonders if his throat still can produce anything other than a felinesound), as well seven lives. he is currently on the begining of his last life.

in both timelines salem tries to protect the spellmans - in the broken timeline, salem is dead (with satan no longer on the throne to secure his powers, the cat, much like the witches he served, started to weaken), probably trying to find sabrina and failing miserably. in the fixed timeline, he stays with zelda and mambo, refusing to leave her side. as they escaped, salem found that a good way to distract them was by attacking blackwood with the last remnants of his strength, unaware that faustus beared the mark of cain. wounded, he hides behind vinegar tom, trusting that the protective magic surrounding zelda’s old familiar (which she insisted that was still alive, just his vessel dead), would keep them from fiding him. he eventually recovers his strength and rejoins the spellmans, but feels something off, as if there was something wrong with sabrina.

overall, my main pet peeve with this season was how poorly handled some archs were. as much as i love the new order of hecate (which btw sounds very pagan to me but okay), i wish they had kept the church of lilith and, as such i will accept both realities and place them in different timelines, especially for hilda. 

i do hc that she still prays for her, away from zelda’s hearing of course, because when she was in the pit (unaware that they were praying for hecate) and in the in between when zelda and edward left, she prayed for her even though she is not the religious type, and came out of it alive. it was only after all that mess that she realised that maybe her prayers were in vain, but she didn’t mind at all.

i also hc that, after her spidey-incident she's been getting a bit uneasy near her own familiars (and they seem to notice that too, being slightly worried for her), she also decides to take a break from her relationship with cee; even though she loves him, and he proposed, she almost killed him ( and may or may not have tried to make him fertilize her eggs , unholy fuck that sentence shall haunt me for some good while) and that starts to make her realise that their relationship might be too dangerous for him, as a mortal. he already faced a witch hunter to protect her and now this? the last thing she wants is to cause him harm.

with mambo being around to look after zelda, hilda just might look for a place of her own, perhaps a little cottage in england as she so desires. it's not that she doesn't want to be part of the coven, or better the order, but even for her, non-religious and almost skeptical, bouncing off from deity to deity is not proving to be a good thing. besides, she's grown quite a backbone (about damn time) and she will no longer endure how she has been treated by her sister - i will elaborate further on the domestic abuse and the ptsd hilda suffers from being killed so many times and the mutual codependency of her relationship with her sister on a separate post, eventually

sometimes hilda puts a few drops of a soothing draught on zelda's food, because apparently if she asks for her sister to take a deep breath or watch her blood pressure it is a reason to receive a dark look. Sl instead of fretting and being pushed away, she just gets it done anyway. it is also comforting for her to know how easily she could kill zelda by putting something lethal on her food. whilst she does entertain herself with these thoughts, she knows she would never be able to kill her ow flesh and blood.

she raised ambrose almost mostly by herself, back when she lived in England. as her first child,she did spoil him rotten. Hilda never really thought of having kids herself, being demiromantic/demisexual she couldn't find it in herself to partake on the coven's festivities and enjoy lupercalia with a random witch or warlock, zelda was the baby crazy one, who had held sabrina almost possessively. she spoiled sabrina as well, perhaps due to Edward's recent death or because she knew how much her murders took their toll on her young niece, but not enough to "ruin" her as zelda always made sure.

although she could easily wear glamours to look more like the rest of her family (tall and slender), hilda learned with time to love herself, being more positive both inside and out.

[spartanburger]

Eris Redesign Pt1: Highering The Definitions

A while back, I decided to go through the process of re-designing the visuals of my characters since I got ahold of much higher definition textures. I had redone Vayu, which turned out well, but next up is Eris.

Vayu’s design was pretty easy to do, since I was satisfied with what I had for him and all I wanted was that in higher fidelity. I didn’t do any kind of work-in-progress text-walls for him like I’ve been doing recently because it was just a bunch of grind-work: going through and scratching in all the paint scratches and details into his paint job. The other characters will be more difficult as I will do far more to the character designs. It will not be as easy, and will require more learning and shtuff. As such, I will be splitting Eris’s redesign into three parts: 

Part 1 will all be about remaking the texture in high definition.

Part 2 will all be about texture revisions, and, most importantly, 3D model changes.

Part 3 will be special use scenarios and other... things.

Since this will be rather long, I’m going to put this behind a KeepReading line to prevent dashboard bludgeoning.

Eris’s original visual design is severely limited due to her model. Only being able to work with the default Quarian models meant that a lot of the more technical stuff I wanted to do couldn’t really be done. Eris was originally designed to have a sort of jumpjet mod on her suit. The best I could do at the time was modify the texture and emission layers to create what looked like the exhaust of a jet. The first thing I came up with was this:

I wasn’t satisfied with it, so I took another shot at it, this time looking at the mechanical flaps and interior of the exhaust ends of jet-fighters as a reference and came up with this:

I liked this design far more, so I incorporated it into the emissions layer to make it look like Eris had some sort of omni-tech jet thing on her hands and feet. This seems like something out of Iron Man, but the in-universe effectiveness of this would be more similar to a low power version of the jumpjets that battleframes used in the game FireFall. As an example, see this video from back when the game was actually good and had more than a dozen people playing it.

I am still salty over what happened to that game.

Anyway. At the same time as I was designing this, I had no idea what to do for her colors. Pretty much all of my characters’ color schemes are based on my ME3MP characters. But, Eris was made after many of the others, so I actually had to go back into ME3 to see if I could find a scheme for the FQE that I liked. I wasn’t able to come up with anything that instantly grabbed me and was also significantly different from my other characters. So, I threw some colors that I liked together and just saw what it did. This is what the OG Eris looked like:

I thought the scheme was a bit jarring, and it was too similar to the already heavily-red themes going on in the rest of the crew, so I decided to try a heavily blue theme, which is what led to the Eris designed I used for quite some time:

The first issue with updating this in HD is that the HD textures were not in a Source-Engine ready format. Mass Effect 3 does something similar to EVE Online when it comes to creating the custom skins for your MP characters. Instead of taking up disk space with new texture files for each possible color scheme, they create four main texture and material layers and layer them in engine:

1 - A diffraction layer, which has all the basic detail on it. This layer is almost entirely in black and white, however:

2 - A pattern layer. Where EVE does this many times over for both material properties, color, dust/dirt, and damage effects, ME3 has a single texture file that has the different patterns in different color channels. For example, if you go into the appearance editor in ME3MP, ‘None’ is simply not using the pattern texture at all. ‘Stripe 1′ is the red channel, ‘Stripe 2′ is the green channel, and ‘Camouflage’ is the Blue channel. Each one of these channels is just a black/white gradient, like an alpha channel, and the game engine just applies the pattern color based on the intensity of that channel overtop of the base diffraction layer. This is what the Camouflage layer looks like:

3 - A color or material texture. I honestly have no idea what this texture does. I originally thought it was color data, but I couldn’t discern what was in the various channels into the colors we might see in game. I suspected it was similar to the pattern layer, only with the different layers controlling the controls for Primary, Highlight, and Secondary color, but that doesn’t appear to be the case either. It’s possible that it’s a reflection material property controller, in which case, it’s almost entirely useless for use in Source Engine. This is what it looks like:

4 - A normal map. Nothing special here.

Source engine doesn’t work like this with textures. Source needs all your color and detail in a single texture file, and multiple patterns require multiple textures or skins. Here, there is no color data, just detail. I’d have to color it in completely manually, which (given my limited experience with Photoshop) is hard for me to do when going from white to colors. I didn’t encounter this problem when I redid Vayu because I did his texture based off of the HD Geth Trooper texture which already had color data, and it’s only the multiplayer or Player Character armors that have this unique thing going on. It’s an ingenious method of cutting back unnecessary texture data, but it just won’t work for Source.

For example, this is what the diffraction layer looks like on the model without any color modifications:

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like it in some way. But, I won’t stand for what is essentially “default.”

An interesting note here is that, with the pure white/black design going on, you can see just how filthy the Quarian suits are. Goddamn suit rats.

No seriously

It’s utterly filthy

Here I thought the cloth parts could come off and be washed. Maybe even all the scientific advancements aren’t enough to scrub the stains of spacedirt. I dunno. Anyway, Eris is an engineer, so the dirt fits. Moving on.

I suspect that the reason why the original models that were ported to the Source engine had proper texture data was because they were ripped from civilians in the Campaign. One of the biggest differences between these two different textures is that the MP FQuarians have the plates on the sides of their chests (the ones that cover the outer and lower parts of the breasts) colored white instead of a dark grey and, even with the various appearance options, they always remain white. Similarly, the MP Quarians have more gold trim on them. Finally, the metal plates on the MP Quarians’ legs are darker, with only the very front being the regular shade of metal.

I want Eris to retain the generally blue color scheme, and she’s supposed to have a much brighter theme going on compared to some of the darker shades present in my other characters.

Remaking the yellow belt trim came out nicely. I changed the hue of the trim a bit to make it fit the gold trim already on the model. I’m not convinced yet if I want the gold trim on the model, since Eris isn’t exactly wealthy, but I do like the gold/blue scheme for her.

However, I encountered big problems getting the cloth colors to apply. My knowledge of how the layer blending modes work in Photoshop is limited, so I don’t know how they work on a technical level, but my usual method of using color or hue blending modes to change the color, and multiply or overlay blending to darken didn’t to work as well as I’d like. If I just take the original texture I did for Eris, scale it up to 4k resolution, and slap it on top with the multiply blend mode, it works pretty good. However, if I did it that way, it would mean that the majority of my process for creating characters would be making the color pattern from the old 1024x1024 textures and applying it on top of the 4096x4096 texture, instead of just coloring the 4096x4096 pattern. I would prefer the latter.

I tried some more complex layering and I may have gotten somewhere using three layers: One on color, one on multiply, and one on overlay. This gave her blue pants:

I wasn’t completely satisfied, but even after trying a few other things, I couldn’t get it to come out how I wanted. So, I decided to use the longer method of using the old texture as a color layer, preserving the detail of the HD texture but with the exact color data of the new texture. This means that, in the future, if I ever want to create the texture for a new character, I’ll have to rip the old low-def textures, make some color modifications to them, and then layer those on top of the HD texture.

Anyway, I made some minor adjustments to tidy some shtuff up, and then came to the non-cloth part of the suit. In the original, low-definition texture, this was covered by a hexagon pattern. The HD texture still has the pattern, but it’s incredibly faint. My layering brought colors onto the HD texture, but it couldn’t brighten details that were already really dark. So, I created my own hexagon overlay texture thing and started using it to brighten the pattern up. The way I made it means that I essentially have to erase the pattern wherever the hexagon pattern is not supposed to show up. I chose to just place the pattern first before I erased parts to fit.

...Unfortunately, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was testing out this method and ended up giving Eris a hexagon-covered butt.

I copied the hex pattern wherever it was needed, warping the layer to fit in certain areas, and then did some extra bits to fill in any areas that were still missing. This came out really well, and I could change the intensity of the pattern depending on how much I wanted.

The last bit was material stuff. Source engine needs the phong map (the map that determines how much light reflects, where it reflects more than others, and how it reflects) to be in the alpha channel of the Normal map, which didn’t have anything by default. I pulled on of the channels from the texture layer I couldn’t identify that looked like a phong map and used that one. I also updated the emission layer to ensure that the face glow and the mouthpiece light still lit up. Finally, I had it all together.

The left is the recreation with all the High Definitions, and the right side is the old one. 

Right, that’s done. Now on to Blender for part 2.

[afternoonblushes]

(Pt1)wow thank u so so much for ur in depth response I rly appreciate it!! I thought I was straight for most of my life until I met a girl who I had a major crush on and realized I was bi, (I mean I was also lying to myself about sexual attraction to women all my life but bc I never had romantic feelings for women it was easier to deny... until that happened) and even then I didnt question my attraction to men until I learnt about comphet and then like, got really anxious that i was lying to

myself about my attraction to men? I think my biggest issue is that i grew up with a biphobic mother, who had made comments all her life that bi ppl were selfish and/or confused... she seemed to have no problem with gay ppl but she seemed to think bi ppl were morally corrupt and sex obsessed... so even tho I dont consciously believe that it's totally possible that could be ingrained in me which is why I'm constantly analyzing myself bc subconsciously I believe I have to be one or the other? Society also having that general outlook on bi ppl doesnt help too I guess lol.. so idk I cant tell if I'm actually bi and my anxiety is trying to force me into a box or if I'm dealing with comphet and ahhh :( also sorry this turned into 3 parts lsskdjd... I wrote it all out and then broke it into pieces but it was longer than I thought 😭

Don't apologise!! I love a fellow bitch with Things To Say! Once again take everything with a pinch of salt bc i am a clown and also don't know the nuance of your situation but here are my thoughts:

my sister is bi and tells me about how when she was a teen (back in the wild west of the 00's) she actually thought she was homophobic, bc it was offensive to imply a person could "choose" to be gay but she really felt she COULD choose to live a life with a man or a woman! So i completely understand and sympathise how 1) biphobia and 2) black and white thinking in general, can make it impossible to healthily process bisexuality/any kind of fluid sexuality.

I've heard other people say similar things to your mum (sorry you had to deal with that, it's A Lot).. the older generation learnt to be tolerant with sayings like 'nobody would choose this, i was born like this' bc of course no one would choose to be born gay in a violently homophobic society lol. And they can understand being gay as long as it remains 1) on the fringes of society 2) inferior 3) pitiable 4) straight relationships ARE a marriage, a family, a love story etc and gay people are just.. gay. Poor them!

And that kinda gets flipped entirely when bi people are open and honest because.. if being gay is so miserable and shit and they COULD be happy in straight relationships, why not? Because gay relationships are good and fun, you bastards! 😈😈😈

Also something to consider- if i remember right i believe comphet originally was meant to apply to every woman? We're basically forced to perform for men our whole lives, and until recently it was kinda impossible for most women to be financially stable without a husband. So basically we DO live in a society, and it's normal to find attraction to men complicated! But that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of men as individuals who you could be happy with ❤

(Also your mum's biphobia/raising you with that perspective might explain why you mentioned sex being an anxiety inducing prospect for you? Cuz like enjoying sex means proving that stereotype right? I shall take the freud hat off now but something to consider! Princess Cyd is a cute film all about sex positivity and fluid sexuality, you may enjoy it?)

The tone of these messages does imply to me that bisexual is currently your best fitting label? Just bc that's the word you repeat and it's weird how we do that! I would call myself gay, not straight, or nothing at all! Once, memorably, biromantic homosexual (yes men you may buy me dinner and take a romantic stroll on the beach.. but NO COOCHIE 😠😤😤)

However that doesn't mean you're not a lesbian ofc, i'm just trying to hear what you're saying! If you do feel the lesbian label fits better at some point, that's wonderful! Also- being bi doesn't mean you NEED to date men and women. Labels can be scary bc it feels like a dictation for your life, but they're tools to help you describe your experiences and feelings. So if you prefer women at this point, there would be nothing  wrong with focusing on women? And then if you're like 😔👀 oh men? Vice versa is totally valid too. It's a myth that bi people are all 50/50 and their partners go man-woman-man-woman lol, there is literally every type of bisexual, and your preferences will be well at home there!

(Actually i've always really admired this about the bi community! Lesbians AND straight women would kinda side eye me and be like well you don't look/seem gay.. whereas bi people are always like yah checks out. Idk very sexy and cool of them)

Anyway this was longgg again so i do hope you found some bits helpful! Feel free to send any follow ups 💕💕 the world is full of endless possibilities for relationships and you will find what works for you when you're ready for it!