#anyway lol long gender ramble in the tags here

[zippers]

shout out to high school "reverse bicurious" "cis woman" me who just thought trans people in antiquity were fascinating and did my Latin IA on trans/gnc romans so now when I'm making lesson plans for my actual job teaching about gay and trans romans i literally just have a document from 2016 called "Gender links" that cites whole books with relevant quotes and summaries and even better, my own translations of primary sources.

thank you pre-burnout me!!!! for doing the leg work as an "ally"!!!!

[kaikama]

Today is a confusing day for my gender. I want to (genuinely) thank some people on Tumblr for that, but I don't know how. I know many people consider their blogs as being a sort of public diary, but I've never used mine like that before. I reblog art and memes, and sometimes ramble in the tags, but almost never make posts of my own, and certainly don't talk about anything important when I do.

However sometimes the best way to get ahold of something slippery that's swimming around in your head is to first get it out of your head. I may not even post this, though contrary to how I present myself on this blog, I do very much love talking about myself (especially when I can indulge my inner 12yo-fanfic-author and be a bit dramatic and poetic about it) so we'll see.

However, to the anxiety of making a long, eventually emotional post I will cede the small victory of a readmore:

I guess the place to begin is with the lovely @dduane. In particular with the recent post she reblogged talking about @redgoldsparks's book Gender Queer. I was reading through the comic therein when I remembered that I actually had the book e was talking about sitting on my "to-read" shelf... okay, one of my "to-read" shelves. No avid reader with disposable income should be surprised I have so many such books, nor that any book could get lost in such a pile, no matter how... personally relevant it is.

I picked it up one day, not at my usual book store, but actually at a local comic book/board game store. It caught my eye of course by presenting the words "GENDER QUEER" in big, bold letters, and and further enticed me when I flipped through it briefly and saw it didn't censor itself unnecessarily. In a graphic novel that's largely about gender, it was relieving, for example, to see bodies being addressed without fear that showing them was too obscene.

So I bought it but, as I mentioned, it sat on my shelf for at least months, probably a year or more, if the time dilation typical of the pandemic period can be assumed.

Then today, after seeing that post, I decided to finally take it out. It only took a short while to read, maybe an hour or so. Unless you include the time it will spend lingering in my mind, in which case I may never finish reading it.

I related to it in many ways. In ways that were the same, but upsidedown – since I was amab, but could still feel a connection to the ideas within. Technically a different wavelength, but... a harmonic of the original. But one point in particular is the whole reason for this post. Page 189.

If you don't have the book, well firstly I highly recommend you go get it now and simply read through it to see the page in question. But in case you can't, I'll describe it here:

In panel 1, the author laments about wanting to switch pronouns, but that "they/them" doesn't feel quite right. In panel 2, e asks eir conversational partner what e uses. In panel 3, as you have probably guessed, e tells the author that e uses "e/em/eir" and, important to my story, uses them in a sentence: "Ask em what e wants in eir tea." In panel 4, e reacts with a huge smile and starry eyes.

Here is where I'll pause and mention that reading that passage gave me a shiver down my spine. I love seeing people explore their identities – or in this case, eir identity – and that especially goes for things I could never wrap my head around, such as neopronouns. As much as I respect them, I never could understand. To me, gender has usually been a nuisance. Something that I have to perform. If I don't, people will assume some performance anyways, one which is usually wrong. I wish I could just work backstage. Or maybe it's more like I wish everyone had a program guide, so instead of having to constantly tell people I'm not a man, they can just see the description in the guide for themselves. I'm just so tired of it. So tired.

But! That's why I get shivers like this, since it warms my heart to see people like me, also pushing through. E shouldn't have to struggle to be known. E does. But that strength inspires my own, which I hope inspires others, in a cycle of propping eachother up!

Then in panel 5 e says "I love those pronouns! I just got the biggest tingle down my spine."

And I recall my spine tingle.

And I'm really confused.

Do I want those pronouns? I've been using "they/them" for a while now, and I've known about (and had friends who use) "e/em/eir" for some time now. Surely I would've realized they fit me sooner than this, right?

Then again, I think, I have been kinda growing dissatisfied with "they/them" for a bit now. But I always just felt tired of gender as a whole. I don't want pronouns that even fewer people will understand, I said. At least with "they/them" I can point at the neutral usage everyone uses them for. Anything more obscure would just be all the more effort. All the more tiring.

...but does that make it untrue? Or simply unfair? Everything to do with being queer is unfair, sorta' by definition. If I wanted it to be easy, I could stick to "he/him", but that would only really be "easy" for other people, I realized. Neither "he/him" nor "they/them" are easy for me. Neither "male" nor "female" nor "non-binary" are easy for me. Neither the old gender binary nor the new gender trinary are easy for me. I'm just so tired.

I wish I had an answer to finish with. Not for your sake, but for mine. I have a sort of modus operandi I like to use: "prepare for the worst, but hope for the best, and expect something in-between." It's a bit of a compromise between the phrase"high hopes, low expectations" and my optimism. Well, I forgot to do that here. I had hoped that I would've found my answer by the end of this post, but I forgot to "prepare for the worst," and as such had no middle ground to set my expectations.

Maybe the answer is to stop caring so much? But that seems like it would be a disservice to myself and my wants and needs. Also it seems impossible. Or at least like clinical depression, which shouldn't be anyone's goal.

Maybe I should try using different pronouns? None of my friend would care. But they would make mistakes. It's extremely rare for one of my friends to slip up now, but it does still happen. And using something new would give me those small rock-in-the-shoe, scratchy-shirt-tag irritations that @redgoldsparks mentioned in eir book all over again.

...or maybe "they/them" is dorta' doing that now, and I've just gotten used to it? I remember when I switched I hadn't realized that "he/him" wasn't great until then. Not because I felt bad hearing it, but because I suddenly felt good hearing "they/them." I still think I don't feel especially disphoric over "he/him," but now that I know the euphoria I could have, it feels worse in comparison. Maybe the same would happen if I switched again?

My how many thoughts I have about this. I want an answer. There is no simple answer. Life is work. I love life. I hate work. I'm so tired. But it's worth it.

I think that's most of my metaphorical brain-fish on the topic disgorged for now. If you listened, thanks for listening. If you're confused, imagine how I feel. And if you think you felt like you resonate at some harmonic of this, please go read @redgoldsparks's book Gender Queer. It probably won't have clear answers, and the feelings it evokes probably won't be exclusively positive ones, but if you've read this far into my ramblings, then I can promise you it will be a valuable read.

Thanks for your time! -Kai

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

Hiiii

So I was thinking about drakes spoiled brat (as I do. Quite a bit) and while scrolling through the DSB tag on tumblr I found those posts talking about epilogs and how that would look. And honestly-just imagine being a normal civilian at the end of this story and all you know is that Timothy "trash" drake is abruptly adopted by the Wayne's and suddenly is very very chill??? Like lol that would confuse the shit outta so many people LMAO

Timothy: I'm a cisgender heterosexual rich Christian white man. And I am better than all of you who are not all of those things. And even if you do check all the boxes, you still aren't me and therefore will never compare.

*the next day*

Tim: I'm uhh gender? Shit next question. Sexuality? Uhhh boys. And girls? Yes. Christian? Shit- fuck- no I'm an atheist...I'm rich and white I wasn't gaslighting myself about those two. So technically it cancels out. Anyways. Uh. Shit man idk I'm running on fumes rn ive been awake 51 hours straight...don't tell Bruce.

The general public: *slow blink* ...who are you and where is Timothy.

The bats: *low key getting some amusement over Tim fumbling*

Anyways. Idk if this is coherent lol I'm just bein silly. I love your fic so much and it's inspired me for some ideas of my own so thanks. You're a very talented author <333

Oh don't worry about coherency hon its brainrot and I just so happen to be a native speaker- and thank you for the praise <33

I will say that Timothy isn't your "classic" wolf on wallstreet guy-

Gotham rich people are a whole new breed because yeah there are social expectations and what not, but once you reach a certian class its mostly "fuck all as long as the investors are happy"

The public perception of Timothy is like a guy who you WANT to feel bad for, and can easily go "yeah that explains a bit of his behavior-" but your still making it REALLY hard to take your side

Most of his "Scandals" have come from him verbally assaulting people, underage drinking/drugs use, and just doing stuff that was not PR approved. To some hes a fucking menace, to others he's as entertaining as those two birkin boyfriends.

Yes he's an asshole, but he's also a kid who lost his parents pretty horribly (wink wink for future lore) and instead of being free as a young nepo baby should be, he's tied down to Gotham, keeping his parents company alive and dealing with all sorts of shit behind closed doors.

Of course hard to feel pity for a rich asshat so there are absolutely a decent percentage of people who roll their eyes whenever someone brings up "Timothy Drake" and everyone has a story of someone with a shit experience

BUT he gets adopted by the Wayne brood and is suddenly- half decent?? Most people would just accept of "Good- everyones favorite himbo gets a new kid, a bit of a fixer upper but lord knows he needed it"

Anyways heres MY ramblings in turn- will definently explore more of Tim and Timothys relationships in Gotham in the future so this is due to fluxuate but as of rn this is generally the perspective <33

[itsgirlcraft]

Goooood morning yall I'm here with ✨️my ocs✨️

I kept arguing w myself on which ones to post lmao, soooo I ended up choosing them! I call them the children of the forest, tho tbh it's probably more mysterious than it needs to be lol.

So in order of their appearance in the story, we've got: Ben, Mo, Sean, Kered, Nate, Limarl/Arle, and Torine! And also Comsio, who's not in the above pic.

They're all adopted brothers, tho I'm considering reworking genders n things, so idk. Currently, I can't decide if Limarl should go back to being called Arle or not. Everyone, except Comsio and Limarl, is basically the same age, like 15-16 at the start. Limarl is 20 or so. Everyone except Comsio and Torine woke up in this forest with amnesia. And the whole main story for them is that they all have different parts of their bodies that are oversized and growing too large, or in Limarl's case, missing entirely.

Sooo I ended up spending 2 hrs this morning drawing them 😅 cuz that's an old af pic, and my most recent drawing was these guys as MLP ponies- don't ask hah-

So here's everyone except Comsio!

(TW body horror ish, mostly creepy face and twisted/stretched bodies)

And since I still wanna show him, here's MLP!Comsio! (TW eyes)

I'm honestly surprised I went with these guys first- it's hard to tell where it's body horror and where it's, well, natural or disability or irl deformity. Like, I know that post abt disability in horror and specifically deformity. That one on hospitals and body horror and the Uncanny Valley coming from ableism.

I won't directly tag this as body horror bc I know all the discourse around deformity and horror. Though I really see these ocs as being both, since I know people irl can have all their fingers missing and large ears and such. I don't feel like my ocs are completely based in reality ofc, since they've actually got magic and other wacky things, but they do reflect it somewhat.

Sorry if I'm rambling, just needed to put that out there.

Anyways!

So for each of them, their, like, situation idk, is: Ben-big hands and feet, Mo-big eyes and mouth, Sean-big ears and nose, Kered-big head and long hair/nails (keratin grows fast), Nate-long neck, Torine- long torso, Limarl-long limbs/missing face and fingers/toes, and Comsio-combination of everyone but Limarl/multiple eyes/weird magic crap lol.

I've already spent wayyyy too long on this so I won't explain much more but-

Limarl has a mouth on the back of his head which he eats with, when he was found he had basically no senses except touch. And he didn't know how to read braille so he could only communicate/be communicated with writing letters one by one on his skin with a finger. Eventually experimental surgery is done on him and his senses are returned, but it doesn't actually give him a face or anything. He only has eyebrows on his face. Comsio was created in a horror dimension kinda side story, it's a long story lmaoo- let's just say a cult was involved-

[s0lar-ch3ri]

yippee new pinned

yeah, ik, a new pin? but the other one felt too fucking long for me okay??

also its my blog so yeah anyways:

(image id: a banner with a purple background and gold accents. in the middle is big yellow text that reads "This user was apart of the July-RWI 6th RPF event." END id.)

(image id: a banner with flowers and white accents surrounding it. in the middle is bright pink text that reads "This user was apart of the July-RWI 2st RP event." below in smaller white glowing text reads "THIS BANNER WAS MADE BY @/S0LAR-CH3RI ON TUMBLR" END id.) (the slash is not there in image, i am making sure it doesnt tag me)

hey there, im the sapphic bigender slut running this blog! i use any pronouns, though i prefer he/her/it/sol (this can change so yeagh lmao). i like dogs and have some ill talk about, but im mostly a blog about writing and ramblers (with some art posts mixed in, youll know where to find them below soon)

if you want more info on the blog, check out this carrd! (and if you want to know what my past 2 old pinned posts looked like...)

-link to the 2nd or the one before this one -link to the 1st or the first of them all

i run a shit ton of rp blogs. like A LOT of absurb ones. luckily, one of my rp blogs (@oncewaskas) has a full list of the others and shit in their pin! also my friend muffin has a big big fucking rp blog list go check it out rn its so big and cool also check xem out please please please please please please they need more attention xeyre so so cool JUST RAHHHHHHHHH

(update on the thing above: heres a link to the post with all of my blogs, not just jrwi non-oc blogs)

now for tags (do be warned, there is A LOT.) (for fun im putting in parenthesizes all the refs the tags has if theres any) (also ive tried seperating them into categories where they match and shit): -

#not my usual content = might be more serious, just something i dont normally talk about (example: something that happened to me) #silli promo = im probs promoing my fics or smth #chilling in solar lights = just talking lol (sun reference) #op is not okay lmao = mostly on my older posts, im just going batshit insane bout smth - #cheri's insane again = theories >:) [i have several theory tags, this is for the more crazy/out there theories, example being my hair thief theory] #theories with cheri = like GTMTMP (game theory minus the mat pat) but for series i watch instead [also for the lesser crazier and more tame and/or plausible ones] #the rambler. = character/interest rambles - #cherry's fruity art basket = posting my own original art (like a fruit basket, also a lot of my characters are gay so yeah) #cheri's art findings = reblogging other peoples art, whatever form it may take (like fruit findings, another basket thing) #the (genderneutral) sons of this solar sun =talking about my ocs (i use gendered words ungendered, sun reference) #the bright smoothie of words = my writings (light and sun ref) #prepping for the shiney smoothie = talking about my writing and possibly also art (my writing tag is about a smoothie) - #the generator is back :) = ive used the trauma generator i found to meme something - #kingdoms of chaos = my old dnd campaign i played AND my first ever! (name of campaign) #in space chaos = the dnd campaign i curently am in, probs will talk about it saterdays (when its staerday here i mean) cause thats our campaign days (play on the name "kingdoms of chaos", if the campaign does get an actual name then im fucked lmao) #the chaos plans = a dnd campaign i wanna set up and dm for friends {wont be posrting this one much as 2 people who i want playing the campaign are on tumblr. unless they block tags then i cant do shit} (name play for "kingdoms of chaos") #gnashing teeth baby <3 = another campaign im in, probs gonna talk about this one the most (name of campaign is gnashing teeth, in reference to "WELCOME BACK TO JUST ROLL WITH IT BABY", "[insert thing here] my beloved <3") - #the pancake incident = the time i went crazy in comments to get a post to 10k notes (WE HAVE A LINK!! here it is for those unable to use the imbedded ones and what not: https://www.tumblr.com/b0nkcreat/730895614697766912/hello-everyone-i-would-just-post-the-image-here?source=share&ref=_tumblr) #ghe ersaer saga = the saga where i show off/talk about me fuckass erasers #the 2 birdies :) and gay se- = a tag for the stupid joke i have with my bud ev about the necklace with the fucking birds - #the autism is inspired?? = i found something that for whatever reason inspires me to write or whatever #just like a cool rock = like a cool rock, something interesting i found and must show the world #ohhhhhhhhhh me boobies saving for a03 = some actual writing advice thing ive found that im gonna save lol

-

#new info dropped for my brain = saving smth just cause rather then interesting #sending to the catagorized fan rays = saving fandom things (fan like fandom, rays like sun rays)

-

#*points at me* GAY = im experiencing immense attraction and you will comply (ref to how people point at others and call them gay for silly shit) - #the light in life = my dog has arrived (light and sun reference, you get it) #the fire of the sun = treasures, my dog for the tag above, brother (sun has fire) - #answers from the aster caster = ref to mythborne [a just roll with it oneshot] and a name i like, basically for asks lol

-

#a sun spirits dance. = for if im playing my sona or whateves lol

-

#jerwee supreme = a tag containing almost all my jrwi rambles (just roll with it in its shortened from is pronounced like jur-wee, weeb supreme is condis role in condicord which im in) #ghostly gazes into future eps = my fake transcripts, might be only pd but we'll see (reference to a line in a pd intro rap from will)

#the primed timing rambles = rambles about my littol au smiles

--

now with those out the way, i do have a mythborne related series im starting up, and you can suggest things i write! the way to do so is in the carrd i mentioned before. since i can, im mentioning those series now!

#the rats rise again! - the aforementioned series, will be drawn if requested (you can mention it on the form in like the complaints area lol) #game theory minus the matpat - i talked about it before, the carrd has all the info you need, yeah #Paranormal Callings (And How We Got You Out) - while i do wanna start it, to me it makes more sense drawn out in a comic like style, and id need to make a couple so i dont feel bad on leaving it out

--

heres mutual/friend/family tags:

#jrwi by non jrwi enjoyer = im talking to my non just roll with it friend on just roll with it [will be used for them in general, not just jrwi, its just mostly jrwi] #epic artist = im talking about my niece #silly billy goose = im talking about my cousin #SEXY MOTORCYCLE!!! = ive finally given into urges and started talking about my lovely (ex gf now friend) (a nickname for them based off an old tumblr post thing i dont remember) (not really used here any more) #piss dolphin mutual = a fun tumblr mutual i have on here (based off a fanfic line they wrote) #soup bubbles on the blr = another fun mutual i know (accidentally called them soup when their nickname was soap, soap has bubbles to it, reblogging their posts puts them on my tumblr dash so blr) #my enablerrrrrr = FELIS TIME YAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYYY ("enabled" by them to do stupid shit like writing silly things) (i also write fanfics so yeah)

have a question? check the carrd or just ask lol okay bye

starting a collection of images because i can:

^ tags can be found on @/okcoolthanks i just dont have the energy to link post

[artist-assassin]

ok i need to know more about ellaria STAT. and your thoughts on rosy + the rosymance !!

RRRRR OK OK but ive only played the public demo so far i havent paid for the patreon/closed demo yet, so i have very little information about the Rosymance in general. info dump and stats below

Ellaria is the humorous / cheerful kinda Button, about 5'5", and she calls her brother Nick-Nack in the game but I imagine she will call him any random number of names off the top of her head (based off of when I played Fallout 4 and I would often call Nick any random nickname like Nicki Minaj, Nickle Pickle, Nickolodeon, Nickaroni and Cheese, etc lol). She has some insecurities because she compares herself to her brother a lot, but she tries to tough it out and beat up her bad thoughts bc she's an unstoppable optimist!!! Stubborn to a fault she refuses to back down once she sets her mind to something. Is a very nice person but gets very socially awkward in large groups, and sometimes lashes out when she gets frustrated by how fragile people treat her (the first thing that made her like Instructor Kim was that he didnt beat around the bush abt her zero but didnt treat her like a kid either!! shes like damn finally some respect around here)

Loves Nick so much (i got like a 160% relationship with him in the open demo lol) looks up to him like her personal hero + mentor. Loves her dad even though it's a little bit strained, has not seen or spoken to her mother in 4 or 5 years after The Incident(tm). but she misses her mom a lot she, she's half scared of her mom hurting her and half scared she will hurt her mom.

I chose the pre-prepared name Ella when I first started playing bc I didn't know what the game was about so I wasn't prepared to like.. make an OC for it until I decided I liked it enough lol. But I compromised by just naming her Ellaria and Ella is her nickname. Here are her stats by whatever chapter is the last one in the open demo (8 i think?)

I LOVE AMBROSE KIM... i played as bisexual in my first go as Ella so i had no idea the genders for some charas changed until I checked the Ambrose Kim tag on tumblr lol. but im way more into rosy as a man than as a woman... Mr Kim u can instruct me any day,..

Like I said tho I don't know a lot about the Rosy romance because I only played the open demo, and I know the author says his romance takes the longest to flower because of the whole teacher/student aspect so he's actively trying to NOT fall for button.. well too bad bitch I'm gonna be so respectable and hot he's gonna have no choice.

anyway im gonna get the patreon this week (friday probably) so i can update u on how i feel soon jhgjhlks i also love all of the characters ngl. i would romance all of them in separate playthroughs.

and u didnt ask but ill mention Kali also, my 2nd Wiseman. shes NUTS. i made her to be the exact opposite of my first humorous, cheerful, ready-to-take-on-the-world girl Ella - so Kali is grim and not nice at all and technically still ready to take on the world but more in a "the whole world is my enemy" kind of way instead of the "i wont let anything stop me" ella way. She's VERY resentful about her zero and is one bad look from a ment away from strangling someone

sorry for the long ramble jhagdwj youre the first person who is talking to me about this game that has become my newest obsession (and u were the one who got me into it so UR responsible for this mess) and im happy to share it w someone :3c

pls feel free to tag me in any mind blind stuff u post, whether fanart or oc art or just rambles n stuff i dont care ill love it all. thank u

[dykeyote]

I want to thank you and your account for helping me understand better how to respect bigender people 💙 even if it's hard to say what you really want to without getting into discourse parameters, the things you have said has really helped me a lot with understanding my friend's and community

awww this is so sweet thank you so much!! i really appreciate that, im glad its helpful to you (: yeah its tricky because its hard to phrase things that will make sense without using discourse buzzwords like i kind of fell into doing a little in that post which i think muddled my messaging but genuinely like . i hope you dont mind me taking this opportunity to talk a little bit, hopefully its also illuminating for how to engage with people haha? but i think restructuring your understanding of gender to encompass the fact that some people are men And Something Else (same for women/nonbinary ppl of course but honestly that seems to be way less of a problem? which i have a lot of thoughts on and im writing a poem abt it but my analysis of manhood in queer communities isnt relevant here lol) goes a huge way in being able to like . interact w multigender people in a more nuanced fashion . and like not just Acknowledging that thats a thing that is true but really thinking about what the implications of simply the idea that a man can also be a woman might have on other ways you behave or other beliefs you hold goes a really long way . because so much of our society even (and sometimes especially) in queer communities tends to pit "man" and "woman" as complete opposites of each other that do not overlap - you can even see this in perfectly well intentioned progressive illustrations of the gender spectrum that intend to illustrate the breadth of nonbinary experiences, where they'll still set man and woman as two opposite points of said spectrum that do not overlap . and i genuinely just think like . i think a lot of people Intellectually understand that bigender people and pangender people and genderfluid people and all a manner of other multigender people who can be both men and women, often at the same time, do in fact exist - but they kind of like . dont really take that understanding and reflect it onto other beliefs that they hold and on other understandings of labels and definitions and what have u (tbh i dont think the queer community should Have universal definitions anyway and implementing this would delete like 60% of discourse from the community as a whole and 80% of lesbian discourse specifically but i digress) to see if they contradict and how u might wanna reorganize ur thinking to be more inclusive and whether that thinking is really useful in a real world context anyway . which is why i think ive seen a lot of people in the tags be like yeah okay this is really eye opening im going to consider this which i appreciate (: idk this turned into rambling but i think thats the crux of what i was trying to convey in that post

[samruebee]

Sam I Am

Ay yo it’s me, your every day Trans Girl who’s got NO idea what's going in life, but ah well, as long as you have fun at the end of the day who REALLY cares about know wtf is going on?

Realized I was trans a few years back... Well NO, at first I Was like “Oh lmao Femboyyyy, then Gender Fluidddd <And honestly this might be more true than I gave it credit> and then within this last 2 years realized I was TransFem and decided to just SEND it, Whats my point in telling you all of this? Literally nothing, I just ramble way too much and decided I wanted a pinned post on my accounts lol.

I wont talk much, this account will mostly just be used for reblogs and such, but you know what they say, the only way for you to start writing something, is to just... START, which always sounded insane but it’s TRUE. No secrets to doing something, no hidden methods, nothing gets done unless you actually start.

I might post some weird writing scraps I have here and there as they come up as I want to get better at writing, but honestly who knows at the end of the day, this might just become a place where I post random stuff like “Me, Me when, Me when my brain goes AWOOGA” talking about my partner lol, I’ll likely put some tags on this post that I think I’ll use for any posts I might use, I enjoy being able to easily sort through a page.

Anyways thanks for coming to my TED Talk, Thank you and Goodnight Tumblr.  Sam~

[littlest-bugz]

intro post

welcome to my blog!!!

My name is BUGZ! I'm a bodily 21 y/o Queer DID system! My pronouns are they/he/she, but I prefer masc or neutral terms :]

This blog serves as my main hub for everything I do- art, writing, memes, fandom stuff and more! This blog is really a collection of a bunch of random posts, and for that reason, it's really cluttered! I also will post about DID and CDD adjacent posts!!!

get to know me more below the cut!

[byf also below cut]

about us !

As I stated before, I'm a DID system! I state this pretty openly due to the fact it affects every aspect of my daily life- even my posting! PLUS I talk about my system a decent amount.

Our frequent fronters can be found here, if you're curious!!!

In terms of my queer Identity. . . We collectively identifies as transmasc, bigender, panalterous, omni oriented aroaceflux, and ambiamorous! This is an agreed upon identity the entirety of The Crew and Co. and is essentially for the body itself! Names, pronouns, genders and sexualities all vary from alter to alter individually.

On our page, you will find. . .

Lots of reblogs on random topics and hyperfixations

System Content [Mostly Text Posts and half-baked, lazy memes]

Rambling and Yapping

Cat posts

Talk about worldbuilding, ocs, drawing and writing

Internet deco [such as userboxes, blinkies and stamps]

. . . and more!

i have a singular sideblog!

We have a hobby of making weirdcore and dreamcore edits!!! If weirdcore edits interest you [and does not trigger you], you can follow us at :

@sum-silly-bugz

before you follow. . .

Our account may not be fully SFW, but we never reblog or post pornographic material. I have a bad swearing problem, and due to my trauma, I have a hard time telling what is socially acceptable in regards for entirely being SFW. It's something I'm working on actively! I prefer minors do not interact personally, but liking and reblogging is okay!

Our stance on syscourse is complicated, and we no longer use syscourse labels. For any labels you feel you may need, we are ANTI-MISINFO and ANTI-HARASSMENT. We honestly do not care if endos exist or not, and we only care about the misinfo on CDDs that is being spread. PLUS anyone is free to browse or interact as long as they don't drag us into any discourse/syscourse, aren't promoting misinformation, harassing others, and/or being a generally gross [subjective] person.

I block very liberally! This is the reason I removed my DNI, actually. If I notice you're partaking in spreading misinfo, bigotry, or anything I just don't like, you go straight to the block chamber! I curate my space for me! Not to mention my DNI didn't work entirely anyways so I said fuck it.

BPD/NPD/HPD/ASPD havers are all welcome on our blog! If u believe in [any disorder] abuse, leave!!

WE ARE PRO-EDUCATED SELF DIAGNOSIS!!!

tags!

#important - important posts to us!

#the bug speaks - my original posts,,, may not be very original tho LOL

#reblog time - My reblog tag!! Everything that gets reblogged should be under this, but I don't always remember.

#you asked we answered - My ask tag! Feel free to send in asks at anytime

#original userboxes/layouts/flags/ect - All of our original content divided into specifics! [ note: they are not all lumped together like that, just putting them all together for the sake of space, you can find most of them tagged in this post ]

#system posting - Our experiences on system hood as well as reblogs and other stuff! Was formerly 'system stuff', and I am notorious for not using this tag

#lps posting - I am/was an avid lps collector!! I reblog fanart and post original content [sometimes,,, but usually text posts]

#cat posting - I reblog a lot of cat pictures and art!! cats r a huge comfort for me

#bunny posting - Same reasoning as cats tbh!!

#writer posting - where I post all my writing content, such as memes,,, mainly memes, but also resources and ect

#art posting - where I put all my art text posts, especially memes, but also just general art we make

#vent posting - vent posts

#the hoard - I hoard and collect deco. If the links don't work for some reason, just click this tag

#sorry for yearning on main - sorry for yearning on main

more tba . . .

links!

deco collection - A hoard of all our deco, which includes stamps, blinkies and userboxes WARNING; FLASHING IMAGES, BRIGHT COLORS, AND MORE! PROCEED WITH CAUTION

pronouns.cc - has [some of] the frequent fronter's pronouns, names, and sign-offs. Only the parts that are safe to say.

art comms website - two of our hosts are artists and take comms- this is their site! comms are currently closed, except for the demented chibi heads [link]

my ko-fi - commission payments go here! The chibi head listing is on here! you can also donate if you feel inclined to, but it's 110% not expected

[note: you will probably see a linktree on some of these because I get freaked out by so many links on a page, but this is different bc tumblr is like my hub, if that makes sense?]

[electricabsolution]

oh your utterly INCREDIBLE tags @justsomeonenamedskyla thank you so much.!!!! DONT apologize for responding i love having intellectual discussions about stupid stuff… :3

(i tried to organize them in parallels. tried is the key word) i do love the fact that it’s gendered equally. very cohesive.

LONG RAMBLES under this cut im just putting the graph up here for completion.

anyway. to all your points. yes the connection between sam and music is absolutely right!!! i think he also has the most in his storyline regarding, well, growing up: he grapples with his dad’s very possible death and how to explain it to vincent (death being a motif of time, like the ending of things ykyk). and sebastian is pretty opposite to him b/c while seb IS the more gloomy of the pair he also tries really hard to thrive and become more comfy in his life. hes lonely, like metaphorically i imagine he uses space as armor. and maybe most importantly, he loves frogs so he would be the most fit to breed the new genesis frog :)

YEAH mr qi and the wizard being a muse of doom and lord of life sounds really good to me. i love master classes & the rarity of them, how those characters become their aspect in singularity. wait. hold on.

im thinking now about how master classes interact with the narrative, like being within it while simultaneously creating it ie. caliborn and calliope. so maybe…… weird thought but maybe the farmer is a master class? in conjunction with mr qi? like, we are the only ones who interact with him. the wizard is our catalyst, yeah, but. we go farther than he ever would. or could. the more i think about this the more it makes sense to me because like. WE the farmer straight up have control (lordship ??!!) over the whole game it doesn’t exist (??!!) until we open it up. huh. my brain is melting. lord of life farmer?

OK. THE LUNAR SWAYS. GENIUS. i didn’t even consider those. i do feel more comfortable with classpects because they have much more rules than the sways, lol. but i definitely agree with your take on logic vs emotion. to add to that, my personal interpretation is sort of about.. thought patterns..? im not sure how to describe it. but to me a core part of existing on derse or prospit is the horrorterrors and the prophetic clouds of skaia. it’s about the ways in which they obtain information. passively watching the clouds, or actively listening to the whispers of the horrorterrors (OR, actively trying not to, like in dave’s case). if that makes sense at all. [like at first it was hard to separate the notion that derse = antagonists because gamzee and vriska are both prospit, right? but this makes sense to me because they both get most of their ideas through doc scratch, like watching and learning. contrast this to like, aradia, who makes her own choices & is dersebound.] anyway i think this is also in line with your ideas. theyre all perfect. awesome job. im done now. <3

i just found this note i made so presenting the stardew valley romanceable NPCs classpected as if they were in a 12-player SBURB session:

[scrawlingskribbles]

god, so I gave up on The BookTM bc it was just Too Much to handle, but that sent me down a rabbithole of seeing what else I have tucked away in these folders & I found my one oc story that I forgot I actually wrote as much for as I did & I just read back thru it all & now I’m sitting here like 

[notepadsandtealeaves]

Jason Todd x GN!Reader in: Movie Nights with the (Bat)Boys™ Pt. 3

12 Days of Batmas || Day 8—Watching Holiday Specials

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

↞ previous: firelight in gotham || decorating your home

|| ao3 version | 12 days m.list | batboys tag | main blog ||

|| dames day 8 | dick day 8 | tim day 8 ||

This man is all about getting cozy with you.

He’ll take any excuse to cuddle up with you—not that he actually needs one, of course—so naturally movie nights are right up his alley.

The most wonderful time of the year just got even better…

↠ Requested By: No one, technically ((but given the fact that I’ve been working on this series since last year I’m sure you’re all ready for me to wrap this ish up lmao)) ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: SFW fluff ((but my blog’s 18+ so if minors want to consume my sfw stuff while still respecting my wishes of them staying out of this space, they can head over to my AO3)) ↠ CWs/TWs: Brief talk of a handsy Jay; slightly suggestive, but nothing to write home about, really. ↠ Betas? Nah, we don’t do that here. ↠ Total WC: 700~

So there’s no ficlets this time around folks. sorry about it but I just couldn’t come up with anything sadly. But! They’re pretty lengthy (they’re all 700+ words) so that’s something ig. Anyways, that’s enough rambling from me—have at it and (hopefully) enjoy!

Headcanon || WC: 700~

🌟 This man is all about getting cozy with you.

He’ll take any excuse to cuddle up with you—not that he actually needs one, of course—so naturally movie nights are right up his alley.

Warm, soft blankets, yummy snacks, and his boo all wrapped up in his arms while you veg out in front of the television? That’s prime date night material right there.

Loves to spoon during movie nights, doesn’t really care who’s wrapped around who, tho if you’re tinier than him he’s gonna tease you a bit if you wanna be the big spoon lol.

Lots of “My cute lil jetpack”s and “Can you even breath/see back there” and the like.

((but lbr—this boy loves having you hold him; tho he’ll rarely admit to this aloud, he won’t deny it if you say it))

🌟 Providing work hasn’t worn him out, he’s the type to stay up for the whole of things.

Even if you tip off he rarely follows suit, choosing instead to hold you tight and enjoy the feel of you in his arms, alive and well and safe.

If he does fall asleep he’s gonna be so sad! This was time that he was meant to spend with you, and he’s wasted it by sleeping.

Will promise to make it up to you, no matter how much you tell him that isn’t necessary, so just let him, okay? It’s as much for his sake as it is for yours.

🌟 V. much a commentator—esp. if the movie is one you’ve already seen before and-or he finds the plot to be overly ridiculous.

He’ll pull back if you want to watch the film in peace, but the minute those credits roll he’s gonna rip into it lol.

He’s v. indiscriminate with his critiques, has to be given his love for B-movies. There’s just something about the jank of those films that just does it for him; like were the creators actually trying to create something good, or were they self-aware? Either way he’s here for it.

🌟 He’s… also got a tendency to get a bit, let’s say handsy, if he finds the movie boring.

What? He’s gotta keep himself occupied somehow, and it’s not like he’s legit feeling you up from the start. Really it’s more of a caress that can easily turn into more if you give him the go ahead.

If that’s not the vibe he’s more than happy to keep it PG-13, much like I’m trying to do with these HCs lol.

🌟 As for what he likes to watch…

No matter the time of year, this is v. much a weekly thing for you, so he’s not too fussed about the lineup…

…Well so long as you don’t pull a Tim and try to marathon the Die Hard series lmao. They’re movies that take place during Christmas—that’s it, that’s all.

In a somewhat similar vein, he does consider Nightmare Before Christmas to be both a Christmas and a Halloween flick. This spicy take is not born from an actual strong opinion, btw, but rather from his love of trolling Damian lol.

There are a few standards that he’ll want to get at some point during your sessions; i.e. The Year Without a Santa Claus, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Home Alone. These films never fail to get him in the holiday spirit.

((and yes, he is well aware of the fact that you can make the same argument for Home Alone as you can for Die Hard, but he also doesn’t care lmao))

This is also one of the few times you’ll catch him singing without a hit of embarrassment or restraint. Unsurprising given that most Christmas movie soundtracks slap.

Ngl, he finds most of the newer Made for TV movies to be terrible, but at the same time the season just doesn’t feel complete without watching at least one cheesy holiday flick.

((his favorite is Holiday in Handcuffs, but tbh he loves anything with Melissa Joan Hart in it; he’s kinda had a thing for her ever since her Sabrina days lol))

🌟 Overall movie nights with Jay are just *chef’s kiss* 10/10—would highly recommend cuddling up with this giant teddy bear of a man while you binge.

🌟 Up Next: Day Nine || Kissing Under the Mistletoe ((check back tomorrow!!))

Taglist is open, but to 18+ users only.

© notepadsandtealeaves, 2021 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol...

[chasingpj]

𝐔𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐳𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐬

"I might spread a rumor about you and Percy rendezvousing at midnight. The Aphrodite cabin will have a hoot with that one."

pairing: percy jackson x child of hecate!reader

words: 4,931

warnings: none

timeline: post sea of monsters

if you want to be tagged every time I update this story, click here

a/n: hi hi! this is part one of a self-insert series I'm working on. in this story, y/n is a child of hecate, and this storyline follows the books. the current timeline here is post sea of monsters and will continue through the Heroes of Olympus books. though it follows the original plot, y/n has her own storyline and quests. i tried to make y/n gender-neutral but as I continued to work on the timeline for this project, i had decided that this fic is for a fem reader. guys, this is really just me projecting my fantasy into fanfiction lol. i feel like this is a slow start?? and there is a lot of info dumped in this so bear with me. it'll get better and I'll be working to improve my writing as the series continues. I was on a writing hiatus for a really long time and I'm out of practice so this is my way to get back and hopefully, exceed the skills I had when I was a consistent writer. anyways, if you have any feedback, let me know! I'd love to hear what you think. as i get deeper into the series, i might ask for some suggestions on what to do with the fic. anyways, i'll stop rambling and i hope you like it!

Part One Part Two

You ignore the aching in your neck as your focus is fixed on the herbology book in front of you. You’ve been seated at your desk for Zeus knows how long reading and taking notes in your Book of Shadows, determined to finish reading it as fast as possible. Your half-brother, Alabaster, insisted that you need to memorize all the herbs and their properties before he can properly teach you how to use them in potions. Even though you understand its importance, you hated introductory work. You are itching to get to the real stuff, resulting in you glued to your chair, studying through the night as your cabin mates were fast asleep in their beds. But as determined as you are, Ambrose, your familiar, wasn’t much help. Ambrose whines as he rubs his head against your legs like a needy kitten, making it difficult to ignore him.

“What is it, Ambrose?” You whisper, sitting back in your chair in defeat. You take a second to massage the back of your sore neck before turning to face the translucent hound sitting attentively at your side. His tail sweeps the floor as it wags excitedly, and a short huff leaves his snout as if he was proud to have finally gotten your attention.

Your eyes meet his, racking your mind to figure out what Ambrose needs to tell you. At first, you thought he wanted to play, but you didn’t have time for that, so you decided to ignore him. Usually, after being ignored for a while, Ambrose will give up, finding something else to occupy him. But tonight, he was particularly persistent, and he’s only like this when he needs to tell you something.

Before you can ask what he wanted again, Ambrose gets up from his seated position, running over to the small table that stands beside your bed. You furrow your eyebrows, the first thing you notice when you walk over are your crystals neatly placed in front of your spell books as usual. Seeing them made you suddenly remember what you had planned to do.

You had told Ambrose to remind you to charge your crystals and collect water from the lake since there is a full moon tonight and of course, Ambrose being your loyal companion, did exactly that. Before looking down at the hound, who now is breathing heavily, his tail somehow wagging faster than before, you smile to yourself.

“I told you to remind me earlier, didn’t I?” Ambrose snorts and runs around your feet enthusiastically. You couldn’t help but giggle at his excitement as you reached down to pat his head. “Good boy. What would I do without you?” You continue to praise him, grabbing a black pouch and carefully placing the crystals in it. You put your index finger to your lips, signaling Ambrose to be a little quieter despite his excitement. If he accidentally wakes anyone up, then you definitely weren’t going to be able to fulfill your plans.

You bite your bottom lip as you tiptoe out of the aisle between the bunks. You look around the notoriously cramped Hermes Cabin to make sure your assumption that everyone was asleep by now was correct. It wasn’t hard to make out the faces of your cabin mates since seeing clearly in the dark was one of your many gifts, so you carefully walked along the bunks, being as quiet as you could. You are especially cautious as you approach the front where your cabin leaders, the Stoll brothers, slept. You study them for a second, knowing for sure Travis was asleep since he was snoring and loudly at that. Before you can check if Connor is asleep, you hear him shifting in his bed. You stand frozen in your spot, hesitantly looking over and you were expecting to be met with the usual mischievous grin. Instead, his back was towards you now. You have a feeling in your gut that he wasn't asleep, the timing of his moving was much too convenient. You really didn't want to wait any longer though so you decide that you might as well leave before he could stop you.

You turn on your heels, walking over to the window before you push it open. You cringe softly as the hinges creak, and you look back at the cabin to double-check if anyone has woken up from the sound. You sigh in relief when you see no one has moved, and you turn back to the window, carefully crawling out of it. This wasn’t unusual for you. You’ve done this so many times that using windows as a mode of exiting and entering a room was as natural to you as walking in and out of a door, and soon you were hopping down onto the grass. Your back is pressed against the cabin as you walk the side of it. You look up at the trees and the sky, eyes scoping around for any harpies hanging around. After deeming that you were alone, you begin making your way to the lake, Ambrose walking by your side attentively and cautiously to make sure you are safe.

The night was clear; the stars and especially the moon shone brightly in the sky. You sigh softly, taking in the stillness of the night, admiring the glistening lake reflecting the full moon placed above it. You’ve always enjoyed how quiet and cool the nights were, preferring it more than the daytime.

Unfortunately, you couldn’t avoid it as much as you wish to. Most of your siblings can agree with you that they’d prefer to sleep in most days so that they can study and practice their magic at night. However, that wasn’t the schedule of the Hermes Cabin. It was pretty impossible to sleep in since the mornings were always hectic. In fact, the cabin was just hectic, period. There was always something going on, whether it was an elaborate prank or the guys arguing over who gets to shower first after coming back from training which usually resulted in an intense game of rock, paper, scissors. You can’t say that you didn’t like it; at least you were entertained.

You also always had someone to talk to, and because there were often new campers coming in and out of there, you have easily familiarized yourself with a lot of the kids at camp. However, like your mother, you did enjoy and yearn for the occasional periods of solitude. As fun as living with the Hermes kids was, you and your siblings did find yourselves getting a little irritable at their shenanigans. It was at those times, you did wish that your mother, Hecate, had a designated cabin.

You and your siblings had always said if they ever got a cabin of their own, they would make sure everyone had separate rooms and would have designated spaces to socialize and practice their magic so that it was quiet for the most part. Alabaster, especially, was really passionate about this topic. He complained how it didn’t make sense that your mother wasn't recognized since you and your siblings were a powerful little bunch. You all needed a space to practice your magic and practice preferably at night since you were the most powerful at that time of day; you were also less prone to making mistakes in your spell casting at night. You agreed with him and would get upset about it sometimes, but the Hermes Cabin was a place you considered to be a second home. The communal feel of the space was something you enjoyed, it was one of the few places where you felt fully accepted which was rare to find being a demi-god with abilities like yours. In return to the Hermes Cabin welcoming you with open arms, you accept the inconveniently loud environment as an admirable quirk and went on with your days.

Then to compensate for the lack of silence and solitude, you would often stay up late, taking advantage of the quiet to focus on your studies. Even if you had to sacrifice the amount of sleep you got, you felt like it was worth it.

It doesn’t take you long to arrive at the dock, sitting down close to the end with your legs folded under you. You first collect lake water in a jar before carefully taking out the pouch's crystals. Assuming you had only a few left in the pouch after laying most of them on the dock, you tilt it with your hand under it, only for the crystals to come out all at once. You fumble, hands trying to bring them to your chest, but with your luck, one of your crystals falls right into the water with a plop.

“Dammit!” You peer over the edge and groan, Ambrose whining at your misfortune as he stands beside you. You look down at the water, noticing Ambrose’s and your dim reflection in it. There was no way you could get that crystal now because you didn't know how to swim, and you consider that maybe tomorrow you can convince your twin brother, Atticus, to look for it or Alabaster if Atticus refused, which you were expecting him to.

Your breath hitches at the back of your throat, jumping back as a head of dark hair abruptly pops up from right where you were staring. Ambrose barks loudly next to you, equally as startled, and your eyes widen. You stand up hastily at the realization that Ambrose's loud barks in the dead of night will catch the attention of the harpies, and right now, that was more important to you than the mysterious person that just sprouted up in the water like a zombie coming out of a grave.

“Shush! Ambrose, quiet!” Your frantic command was enough to make him stop with a whine, and you sigh shakily, turning towards the camp to check if there were any harpies.

“I think you dropped something.” Ambrose moves in front of you protectively, a low growl coming from his chest as he cautiously studies the person. You look back where the voice came from and to your surprise and your relief, you find that the mysterious person in the lake was no other than Percy Jackson. You never had a conversation with him before, but you definitely knew about him. It was kind of hard not to know who he is since he’s been the talk of the camp since he’s arrived. Your thoughts about him weren’t any different from most of the camp. You’ve seen him fight and use his powers during capture the flag, and you were just as impressed as everyone else. You did have to admit that you found him to be pretty cute too. His eyes were gorgeous, clear, and bright like a shallow, cyanic sea. You also found it adorable how his hair always looked a little disheveled.

Your (e/c) eyes met Percy’s green ones before looking at your rose quartz in his hand. You smile sheepishly, noticing the amused look on his face.

“Ah, yeah, that’s mine.” You walk over to him, but as you get closer, so does Ambrose, and his growls get louder. "Ambrose, heel. It's okay," you say softly, and he stops in his place, but his stance is still at alert, his eyes watching Percy cautiously. You pat Ambrose's head before walking past him and over to Percy. "Thanks," you smile, taking your rose quartz from his hand.

"No problem… I don't think your ghost dog likes me," Percy jokes, moving to look past your legs at Ambrose, who’s standing tall on your left side.

"Yeah, well, you kinda scared the crap out of us," you point out, amused. You take in Percy's goofy smile as he pulls himself up from the water, and you notice that he’s completely dry as he settles on the edge before turning his body to look at you.

“It’s y/n, right?” He asks, and you nod, figuring he’s probably heard about you in passing from Connor and Travis since he was friends with them too. “What are you doing out here so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing," you retort playfully, making him smile. You move to sit down where you were standing. You spread the crystals neatly on the wood, making a mental note to get them before you go to bed.

"I couldn't sleep, so I came out here to hang out, but then a hippocampus swam up. One of its friends got stuck in a fisher's net not too far from here, so I went to help," he explains, and you nod. "I told you my excuse, so what's yours?"

You hum, "It's a full moon out tonight, so I thought I should take my crystals out. I also needed moon water for a potion, so I collected some for that," you point over at the big mason jar full of lake water. "It’s not as cool as your excuse,” you say playfully.

A short laugh comes from Percy, and when you look up from your crystals, you notice he was looking at Ambrose again, who was still in his tense stance. Ambrose was especially protective of you and Atticus, and it wasn’t unusual for him to be cautious of the new people you come across. You assumed that Ambrose was particularly tense with Percy since he had successfully caught you both by surprise.

"Ambrose, relax.” You pat the top of his head to soothe him. "Lay down." Ambrose whines, licking your hand affectionately for a little, and you can tell he was still uneasy about the other. He was hesitant, but he follows your command anyway, laying down with his head on your lap.

"You can touch him?" Percy asks, his eyes wide and curious as he watches you pet Ambrose.

"Yeah, I can touch ghosts in general. My mother is Hecate, goddess of necromancy, along with magic, the night and the moon," you tell him. "This is Ambrose. My mother gifted him to me to be my familiar, kinda like a guardian." You look down at the hound, smiling softly as you scratch behind his ear softly.

Ambrose is a burly Molossian Hound who lived in the time of Alexander The Great. From what your father told you, his breed was well valued in Ancient Greek and Roman times and was often used in war. It is easy to understand why the breed was used in war. Ambrose is huge and muscular, about 6 feet tall when he stands on his hind legs, and he weighs around 200 pounds. At first, Ambrose can come off as a little intimidating. You remember how your siblings had avoided him when you first arrived at camp before they realized that he was the clearest definition of a gentle giant. Even though he was trained to fight when he was alive, he was still as gentle as a well-trained house dog unless he was given a reason not to be.

"When did you get him?" Percy asks, his eyes focusing on Ambrose’s translucent body that looked like it is made up of this gray swirling vapor. He couldn’t exactly wrap his head around how Ambrose’s head was comfortably propped up on your thigh.

"We met on the night I was on my way to Camp so about 2 years ago. Without him, my brother and I probably would have never made it to the borders.” You look up at Percy, meeting his eyes again; you watch as his face softens as he shifts to lean back on his hand.

"Really?" You hum and nod, ready to drop the conversation there, thinking you shouldn’t bore him with the details. You didn’t really like talking about it much, but the way he was looking at you made you feel like he was inviting you to continue talking.

"We got separated from our father at the gas station a couple of miles away from here. He went inside the convenience store to get us snacks, and while he was in there, a cyclops had found us, tried to grab us out of his car. We jumped out and ran into the woods nearby," you explain as you look out at the dark horizon.

You remember the sound of your father yelling after you and Atticus and how it broke your heart hearing, for the first time, such despair in his voice. You knew your dad didn’t want to bring you guys to camp, but he knew it was in Atticus’s and your best interest to come here and be with other people like you guys.

When you and Atticus started developing your powers, your father had simply told you guys that you were special and to refrain from using your telekinesis anywhere else but home. He didn’t say anything more until one night, you and Atticus had gotten in a screaming match about a reason you don’t even remember. However, in your screaming match, the both of you were so angry that a green aura had formed around you both, and books, magazines, even cutlery were being flown across the room because of the sheer energy you were admitting as a unit. It was then your father had decided to take you and Atticus to the camp to control and learn about your powers before you guys destroyed the house over a dumb argument like who’s turn is it to have the TV remote.

"We were more concerned about the monster hurting our dad, so we decided on a whim to run in the forest. My brother and I have telekinesis powers, and I aimed well enough to send a rock right at the cyclops eye. We lost him a little after that, but we didn't know where we were. We made too many twists and turns; we had no idea what direction we came from. And then, this buddy appeared out of nowhere from a distance. I saw him glowing from far away and couldn’t make out what he was, but I felt that I had to follow him. So we did, and he got us to camp with no detours for any other monsters. He's been with me ever since," you say, and a low whine comes from Ambrose’s mouth as he nuzzles the side of his face on your thigh contentedly.

Percy nods, and he huffs softly, "You guys got lucky. How old were you and your brother when you got to camp?"

"12, we're twins. We actually got here a couple of weeks after you did,” you mention. You watch Percy’s mouth curve into a half-smirk.

“Wow," he says, amused, and shakes his head. “So you have a twin and a dead dog, no fair," he jokes. You giggle, rolling your eyes playfully,

"Oh please, and you have crazy water powers. You’re completely dry after swimming! I think that's pretty envy-worthy."

"Hey-,” he shrugs, taking a second as if to form a protest. “I guess you're right,” he admits and laughs. You laugh with him, opening your mouth to say something else but unfortunately, you were interrupted by a screech echoing in the distance.

Both you and Percy stand up quickly, trying to figure out which direction it came from. “The harpies,” you both mutter in unison. You bend down to grab your things, and you look at Ambrose.

"Go distract them, bud," you tell him, and Ambrose jumps up to his feet, and you watch as he runs away, barking to get their attention. Just then, you see the wings of the Harpies coming up from the trees of the forest. You turn to Percy, grabbing his hand quick,

“Incantare: Transpectus!" You exclaim confidently, closing your eyes to envision you and Percy becoming transparent on the dock. You've never tried doing this spell before, but you've gotten better at visualizing and setting intentions, so you had some hope in yourself. You open your eyes, not feeling any different, and you hoped that you just didn't make a fool of yourself in front of Percy. But when you look down at your hand hesitantly and notice it was hard to make out since you were see-through like glass, you sigh in relief. You smile to yourself, more than satisfied that you were able to pull that off.

"Woah, are we invisible?" You look over at Percy, able to see him just fine since he was under the spell with you. Percy looks down at himself, eyes widened as he processes he can’t see his body anymore. You observe him for a second, finding it cute how he looked surprised and obviously entertained at the fact that he was completely see-through. You feel yourself growing a little flustered, trying not to focus too much on the fact that you were holding hands with him.

"Something like that. C'mon, it won’t last too long," you whisper, and your grip around his hand tightens as you guys begin running to his cabin. You hear the harpies screeching in frustration as they swoop down to try and grab Ambrose, only for their claws to go right through him. While the harpies were growing more annoyed, Ambrose, on the other hand, was having way too much fun, running in circles and barking at them as if he’s teasing.

"Man, I wish I had a ghost dog," you hear Percy mutter behind you as you arrive at the steps of his cabin.

"Yeah, Ambrose is pretty great," you admit, watching him play with the harpies before shifting your gaze over to Percy. "Thanks for getting the crystal for me." As much as you wanted to stay talking to him, you knew you couldn't stay too long. You were still eager to finish studying, and Ambrose can only hold off the harpies for so long.

"It was no problem. It was on my way up anyways," he shrugs, and you smile, trying to ignore the fluttering feeling in your stomach. You look down, the two of you still holding hands even though the spell wore off already. You awkwardly let go of his hand, shifting on your feet.

"Well, I'll see you around," you say sheepishly, fiddling with your fingers.

"Yeah, I'll see you.” His hand comes up in an awkward wave. You nod, returning the wave. Your eyes meet Percy’s green ones one more time before turning on your heels and walking down the steps of his cabin. You notice that Ambrose is now long gone into the forest, taking the harpies with him to give you time to rush to the other side where your cabin is.

As you hurry back to your cabin, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself as you replayed the interaction you just had with Percy, and you couldn't help but wonder when would be the next time you could talk to him.

You carefully hoist yourself up, climb back into the cabin through the window, sighing softly once you get in. You slowly close the window, your face scrunching at the creaking sound, but you successfully get it closed before turning around, only to be faced with Connor Stoll standing a few feet away with his arms crossed over his chest. You gasp loudly, almost dropping the mason jar in your hand, being startled for the second time tonight.

“Oh, look who’s back,” he says, his lips pulled in his usual mischievous smirk, his right eyebrow raised as if he's suspicious of you. You shift, giggling nervously under his graze,

"Hey, Con.” Shit. You knew he wasn’t asleep, and a part of you wasn’t surprised that he had caught you sneaking out again. You weren’t too worried since Connor wasn’t one to be strict or easily angered, neither was Travis, but you can understand if he did get a little upset with you since the cabin could also get in trouble, and he worried about you getting hurt.

"You leave so often, I'm starting to think you're seeing someone," he teases, and you furrow your eyebrows, not really sure what he was trying to get at.

"I'm not seeing anyone. You know what I do when I sneak out," you tell him, putting your hand out to show him the jar full of water. After being caught the first couple of times, you had explained to Connor why you occasionally needed to head out at night. He was understanding of your reasons, telling you to try and not sneak out as often. When he did catch you, he always kept your outings secret. It came with a price, though. You were sometimes stuck doing extra chores, especially anything that had to do with cleaning, since he hated doing anything that had to do with mopping or sweeping.

"So that wasn't you and Percy on the dock?" Your eyes widen, and you feel your face get hot again. You shake your head, stumbling over your words for a second.

"Uh… n- that was a coincidence!" You hear him snort, laughing quietly as if he didn't believe you. Even though he couldn't see your facial expression very well in this lighting, he can still tell how flustered you were at his sudden question.

"Yeah, sure," he says sarcastically, and he hums, "Anyways, what are you going to do for me so that I don't tell on you?" He asks, and your mouth drops open. Usually, he wasn't so forward, and he never threatened to tell on you. "I might spread a rumor about you and Percy rendezvousing at midnight. The Aphrodite cabin will have a hoot with that one."

You gasp, "Connor, are you blackmailing me right now?" You narrow your eyes at him, and he shrugs,

"I guess you can say I am." You shake your head, walking over to your desk to put down your moon water before turning toward him and crossing your arms in front of your chest.

"... what do you want?" You ask, expecting him to make you take up one of his chores. But from the way he was smiling at you, you can tell that there was something more he wanted, and you were beginning to worry.

"Help me turn the Ares Cabin into bunnies," he says, and you shake your head frantically,

"No way! Clarisse will kill me," you whisper. Connor smiles,

"No, she won't. She can't kill you if she's a bunny," he points out, and your face falls flat,

"They're not gonna stay bunnies forever," you say, and you fiddle with your fingers nervously at the idea of the outrage you'd get from the Ares Cabin after shifting back from being bunnies. "I don't know, Con. I don't even know if I can turn all of them into bunnies at once."

Connor waves his hand at you, dismissing your concern. "I don't care for the logistics now. We can work on that later, but you have to agree to at least help me," he says. "Or I'm telling everyone I saw you smooching Percy on the dock."

"What!? We didn't even kiss. We talked for like 5 minutes!" You whisper-yell, your reactions much too entertaining for him, and he was having a hard time holding in his laugh.

"Your decision, y/n."

You sigh, throwing your head back. You look at the ceiling for a second as you consider your two choices. And you decide that getting your head potentially put on a stick by Clarisse was better than the burning embarrassment of Percy thinking you're spreading rumors about kissing him. "Fine, whatever. I'll help you do the bunny thing," you mumble, your shoulders slouched.

Connor nods with a proud smile on his face for trapping you into helping him. "Good choice. I will be going back to sleep now. Good night… again," he announces, turning on his heels and walking over to his bed. You frown a little as you walk back to your desk to study. Plopping down onto your chair, you decide that you’ll worry about Connor’s little plan later so you can focus on your studying. After a while, Ambrose comes trotting in, joining you by the desk as usual. You smile at him, praising the other for distracting the harpies for you before he lays down, his head laying on your foot.

As you study, you find that you couldn’t help your mind drifting back to Percy once and a while. You deem that there was no way that you could have a crush on him since you guys have only spoken once. In the midst of your internal debate to decide what you felt for him, you suddenly remember the crystal that was retrieved for you. You remember how Percy presented it to you, holding it out for you with his fingertips. It was your rose quartz. What a coincidence. You smile, rolling your eyes as you tell yourself that you’re thinking too much into it. You look over, noticing the dim illuminating light of the beginning sunrise shining through the curtains. You sigh, deciding that you should probably get to sleep and take advantage of the maybe, four hours of sleep you’ll get tonight. You close your herbology book before making your way to your bed, and with a soft sigh, you retreat under the covers, and finally, you surrender to your drowsiness.

masterlist

[zerodaryls]

@desertthorn @chiosblog y'all both tagged me lol,, thanks!!! <3

alas i cannot Toto my way through this one because they don't got no Z songs 😔 inconsiderate of them tbh

Z - Zanzibar by Billy Joel (i know this song but i literally had to resort to google to find a Z song because nothing was coming up in my brain lol)

E - Entertaining Angels by Newsboys (i grew up with this song and it's still one of my favorites tbh even tho i'm not a christian anymore like it's so fucking good and isn't preachy or anything. you know back in the 90s and early 00s when christians actually made decent music and it wasn't just fuckin worship music 24/7 lmao. also phil joel with his long blonde hair?? forever giving me gender envy.)

R - Rooms On Fire by Stevie Nicks (aka THE MOST UNDERRATED STEVIE NICKS SONG literally WHY doesn't the entire world know this song. flash warning for the video tho. holy fuck she's so gorgeous but like i can't be attracted to her because i want her to adopt me. she's MOMMY but in a totally boring, nonsexual way lmao.)

O - One Dance by Dan Bern (i mean, it's the main track from the movie my url is based on, so. i HAD to. plus it's just. vibes.)

D - The Downeaster Alexa by Billy Joel (literally one of the best songs ever written fight me fight me fight me,, does any other song make you literally feel like you're on the ocean trying to catch enough fish to provide for your family?? i swear every time i hear it i'm transported to this song character's world and i literally wanna cry from the angst. it's so fucking good. also these are some of billy's best vocals. they blow me away every time. YA YA YAAAAA YO)

A - Are We Dancing? by John Davidson and Leslie Ann Warren (why?? idk i was going through my music collection and this stood out because i remember loving it as a kid, i always found it so soothing. sometimes i'll put it on for comfort even tho it's just a cheesy romance song from a 1960s disney movie that i barely even remember ever watching lmao)

R - Rich Girl by Daryl Hall & John Oates (aka the song i would put on as a kid when i wanted an excuse to curse and be able to say IT'S IN THE SONG MOM I'M JUST SINGING THE SONG!!!! "it's a BITCH, girl")

Y - Y Bardd O Montreal gan Breichiau Hir (this is a cover and normally i'm loyal to original versions of art lol but i really like the screamy bits in this one. my Welsh isn't good enough to understand everything they're saying but holy hell i sure do be head bangin' anyways lmao)

L - Left & Right in the Dark by Julian Casablancas (honestly thanks for tagging me in this because it made me remember how much i FUCKING LOVE THIS ENTIRE ALBUM,, i only know like 2 songs by The Strokes, but i love a handful of his solo stuff,, honorable mention: 11th Dimension - 'we're so quick to point out our own flaws in others,, complicated mammals on the wings of robots' is SUCH a lyric. also side note he gives me so much gender envy holy shit)

S - Static Box gan Sywel Nyw feat. Gwilym (another Welsh song because hoLY FUCK THIS SONG IS SO CATCHY it makes me go all autism flappy hands)

.....sorry, that got away from me. it's been like an hour and i've just been sat here going through my own music collection and rambling lmaoooo rip.

anyway thanks for the tag, y'all!

tagging anyone else who wants to do this,, say i tagged you so i can see y'alls music tastes.

Rules: pick a song for each letter of your URL and tag that many people.

i- I was all over her by salvia palth

n- no surprises by radiohead

a- a night to remember by beabadoobee and laufey

s- sunsetz by cigarettes after sex

t- there is a light that never goes out by the smiths

a- all I think about now by pixies

t- the blonde by TV girl

e- everything by the black skirts

o- one beer by MF DOOM

f- first love/late spring by mitski

c- cigarettes out the window by TV girl

r- rises the moon by liana flores

i- infrunami by steve lacey

s- see you again by tyler the creator and kali uchis

i- i can't handle change by roar

s- show me how by men I trust

(do I know 16 people??)

@rohza-is-a-bit-gay @rainnism @titan-god-helios @frogofalltime @etherealspacejelly @tiredlyvelociraptoring @chaotic-beannn @us-costco-official @chaoticrsstuff @werewolfenthusiast @person4924 @indecisivebitch3000 @ionlylook @transgirlsgetswords @asherwentinsanelol + anyone else whod like to join

[decimalpointed]

So I'm working on 3 fics right now. Getting the dialog right is kinda killing me a little bit. I keep writing it out in my head and then I forget how I got the characters from step 1 to step 2. Its frustrating.

I've also been pretty tentative about interacting with people again so much in fandom spaces. But I love bouncing ideas around and love hearing what others have to say. So like I wanna do that, I wanna interact, but damn it I'm back in my shy anxiety bubble and dunno how to make friends 😅 Someone slide into my DMs and let me ramble at you. Only if you are an adult tho. No minors.

Anyway here's an update of what I'm working on since I'm at work and no one else showed up to this fucking meeting so I'm writing on tumblr instead.

I started Dreams Like Deadly Things which is gonna be a Steddie exploratory piece into angst in regards to gender and kink and of course some drugs thrown in to get the ball rolling. Writing gender stuff is kind of new for me in general but its only supposed to be like 5 chapters which are mostly smut and angst. One small chapter is posted and chapter 2 is started and killing me with writing the dialog.

I've started Creature Comforts, which is a Steddie body and psychological horror about losing humanity and trying to find it again. This one i wanna explore some heavier themes like cannibalism, loss of self, and the awful dread of knowing the impending loss of self but cant stop it. This one is not posted at all. Waiting till I have it a bit more fleshed out. May never get posted lol.

I've also started Beneath Fur and Fang (title pending) which is my first foray into A/B/O dynamics even though its pretty nontraditional ABO and not intended to be like filthy smut. This one's a Harringroveson as werewolves with some depressing lore and chalk full of a bunch of ideas im really excited about but its gonna be a long one. Also features heavy angst and heavy themes like animalistic behavior, death of children, unhealthy dynamics, unhealthy coping mechanisms and some stuff i won't put on tumblr . The base social needs of predators really fascinates me. Also this one is gonna be gross on a lot of levels. Like I keep going back and forth by how dark I want a certain scene to be but it would be exceedingly disgusting and I would need to dead dove tag it. Decisions decisions. Anywho, started but also not posted but its the one im most invested in. Also at a loss for certain plot points.

[ishibishie]

Hi there! Do you have any headcanons for your favorite characters?

oh yes! they're not my favorite characters without headcanons and self projection after all :,D

for steven, i've made a few posts dedicated to just steven hcs! can't remember what that tag was (just "headcanons" maybe?) but all you need to know is that my absolute favorite ride or die steven headcanon is that he's half galarian on his mother's side. don't know where the thought came from either, i just thought british steven was cute or something. i've got way more on those dedicated posts (i think like... 55-ish hcs?) so i won't ramble here much longer unless i want this post to become Ungodly long (it probably will)

i briefly mentioned this in my silly wip pile post, but the one thing i will yell into the quite frankly empty void of juan's tag is that GNC JUAN OR BUST! i know people use that term for a bunch of different stuff so i like to use gnc for him in terms of breaking gender roles and not really anything to do with the character himself if that makes sense? like. he's a contest star or something, i think he would like to look pretty no matter how 🥺 put the cute little man in a cute little dress! (bonus points for wallace "YAS BITCH SLAY" moments lol. also not sure where to put this but i think he/they juan would also be kinda cute heehee). if he's from the pokemon version of greece, he's super into cats as well and probably has like 5 skitty he picked up from the side of the road and it's wallace who needs to physically restrain him from the 6th because "you don't need it yoU HAVE ENOUGH CATS" and THEN on that note i'm a chad and believe that juan adopted wallace as his son because this is such a sweet headcanon GUYS GET ON THIS

clair and lance i think come as a package deal because it's either 1) i like to think that at some point before lance became champion HE was the one taking care of clair (for some reason. parents busy? idk) which makes their relationship lean closer to siblings or 2) fuck canon, they are straight up siblings. i have accidentally called them siblings to some friends so at this point i'm going all in on my mistakes and i also..... kinda hate how their relationship is presented in canon so fuck that it's (canon) morbin' time. but a bit for each character individually: you have seen this in most my lance posts, he has heterochromia because it's badass and is also pokemon's gay icon and is kissing my oc. clair would just roll her eyes and go "oh geez really" whenever this happens. she's basically the kid who thinks everything love-related is gross and sappy. also you know how most teenagers need to get approval of their partner from their parents? lance needs to go through his bratty little relative. anyway, lance. he's a mess in super social situations (at the end of hgss he says being around TWO people is too noisy for him or something at the hall of fame?), a hopeless coffee addict, and he's a closet contest fan and has had crushes on like Way too many cute male coordinators (legal adult male coordinators ofc). and for clair herself.... i wanna think she's really good at swimming because hanging out with the dratini and dragonair at the dragon's den is her favorite way to calm down and chill out, and she has also fallen to the same fate of buying identical capes at the goldenrod department store

with falkner, pokemon masters has made me realize the brilliance of narcoleptic falkner because he talks about being tired and falling asleep a few times in his pokemon center dialogue! also on that note, he says he wants to go to galar just to take the corviknight taxis, so maybe he's a fan of travelling around? he'd love going to different regions and observing bird pokemon he's never seen before! he is also pathetically short i wanna punt him into orbit lovingly