#anyway kid Luke was kid me I shared his frustration over not having enough words to describe things perfectly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

afatallovesong · 2 years

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you!!! write!!! so!!! well!!!!! I've come back to your writing 3 times today just because it's SO GOOD. pretty please could you do another anything of luke? ngl I'm an absolute sucker for a friends/bffs to lovers trope so that would be fantastic if you could write another. sending big waves of love your way!!!!! x

Thank you so much for your kind words, I'm honestly so grateful to anyone who reads, likes, reblogs or even requests and whatever else you do on this site. I hope you continue to enjoy my posts, thank you for being here.

Okay now for the good stuff! Soooo, I decided this was going to be a 2-part piece because I also received another Luke request and there wasn't much of a prompt with it. I also just wrote way too much for this concept, so it needed a good chop in two. Oops.

ANYWAY... I will go back and edit in the link to part 2 here when it's done. I hope you enjoy your half first though :)

Not Yours

A Luke Hemmings one shot (except not really)

18+, Smut, NSFW

Part 1, Part 2

Word Count: 6871

“It’s not that big of a deal, you caught me in a compromising position, we can move on now.” He’s not even blinking an eye; he’s not doing much of anything actually. Maybe it’s his years of keeping his lip tight for the sake of the band, never letting a secret spill for the gossip that would entail. He’d been working on his poker face for over 10 years, and you were ashamed to say it was working on you. You couldn��t see a single glimmer of guilt cross his chiselled features and it’s not like he should be ashamed of his sexuality, he was entitled to it as much as anyone. That wasn’t what irked you. What was bothering you, however, was that you just noticed the small smile that crept onto his lips whenever you stared at them for too long.

“Are you fucking kidding me? I caught my best friend with his dick down some poor girl’s throat.” You stood up from the chair to emphasise your frustration, how very not okay you were with the events of the previous night. You hadn’t set up a schedule for the room share, you hadn’t enforced any rules at all to prevent things like this from happening. You honestly hadn’t felt like you’d needed to. You were sharing a room with him over a long weekend. Just 3 nights and 4 days. You were actually dumb enough to think that booking a room with one 1 bed would finally be what bought you closer together, smashing the boundaries between the two of you that normal circumstances never could. You’d never anticipated those same boundaries being broken quite like this.

The image of him sat right on the edge, rutting his hips up into her mouth. You couldn’t forget it. Nor the hand he had gripping her jaw whilst simultaneously gripping the sheets on your side of the bed too. Just rubbing the material back and forth between his thumbs like a comfort blanket. He didn’t even look at her while she took him, no. His head had fallen back, face positioned towards the ceiling. His eyes clasped shut, lips barely puffing out air. He looked lost in her touch but not enough to vocalise a damn word. He was silent. Just chasing that high without any means of an end. It was unsettling. His jugular was so bare too. His Adams apple gulping down the air you failed to see him take in. Maybe he’d stolen it from you since the sight was so frustratingly breath-taking.

“You make it sound like I forced her.” His confidence wavered but only for a second, his hands fiddling with the rings on his fingers, sliding them back and forth as he fought his case and you instantly felt regretful for the way you’d phrased it. “I didn’t mean it like that.” You held your hand out steady to reassure him. You really didn’t, he wasn’t like that. Even in his hardest partying days you don’t think he could have forced anyone. One look into the salted ocean of his eyes and you’d be willing to do just about anything to stay a while, take a swim, dive in, and surround yourself in the clearness. Only because you wanted to, no other reason.

“I’m sorry. I just-.” You go to sit down beside him on the bed but think better of it. You hadn’t slept in it at all. Another reminder as to how he couldn’t convince someone to do something they hadn’t wanted to. You’d actually wanted to drop your clothes and slot beside him as if nothing had ever happened. When he’d held your hand and almost begged you to stay you nearly broke to pieces and crumbled beside him like the remnants of a midnight snack before bed. You just didn’t want to share the same bed he’d used with her. Even if that meant opting for the sofa that night and then Ashton’s bed the night after. “They’ve been cleaned you know.” He refers to the hygiene of the bedsheets beneath him. He sighs before standing up to let you sink down into the sheets in replacement of him, you now felt less ill thinking about touching them with your own palms. Even if they hadn’t been cleaned daily, did you really think he was that much of animal that he’d followed through after you witnessed him? The sheets were as pristine and unused as they were when you arrived.

“It was just a shock.” It was a shock to you to slot your key card in the door, stumbling through, shedding your boots from your ankles as you trickled in from the hotel bar. You’d held them in your hands as you walked the short hallway past the reasonably sized bathroom, towards the bedroom. You dropped them with a double thud when your eyes fell to the girl on her knees. It was a shock for a lot of reasons. 1, it meant you couldn’t move for a while, feet cemented in place, creating your own personal hell as you watched the scene play out in front of you. 2, it meant you had to announce yourself somehow or make a heady escape, but you’d doubted you were quite sober enough to retreat without making a single sound anyhow. 3, because of the impending doom of your friendship with both Luke and the others because they came as a packaged deal, nothing more and nothing less. 4, as it was only fitting to have quadruple the trauma. It meant that it hurt like hell cause you wanted nothing more than to be that girl you were referring to. To be the one taking him instead of witnessing him giving himself to someone else. That was the biggest shock. You hated that you still desperately wished it had been you.

“Can we just please forget this?” He fucked up the moment he attempted to get his kicks from someone else and it didn’t take a genius to know why. His hand wasn’t enough, the hands of the girls he chased, who also chased him, weren’t enough. Hell, maybe he was asexual or something, maybe sexual gratification just wasn’t it for him, could never fix his little problem though he’d like to argue it was actually far from little but for the sake of punishing himself further, sure, a “little “problem. But then he let his mind wander to you. If he just pictured you, imagined you, like he did that night, that night when he closed his eyes and thought of you so hard, he thought he’d summoned you there himself when he opened his eyes to the sight of you stood in the doorway. The only thing that was wrong with the scenario was that it wasn’t just a fantasy of his, you wouldn’t push her out the way and finish the job for her. You were there and you were horrified at what you’d seen. He didn’t think he’d ever have it in him to get hard again. It was what he deserved after all.

“I can take the couch tonight.” He threw his phone down onto it to show he’d claimed it for the evening. “You’re too tall for it, even I had to curl up and I’m at least 4 inches shorter. Take the bed, I’ll see about getting my own room. Maybe reception have had a cancellation or something.” You felt too guilty to ask Ashton for the second night in a row. He needed a good night’s rest more than anyone after the shows he’d played. He insisted that he hadn’t minded, that he quite enjoyed not being alone, but you couldn’t impose, especially when you felt how much he tossed, turned, and had to hold himself back from rolling into your side accidentally. Even his subconscious knew he needed the space.

“Then I’ll sleep on the floor or something.” He’s already grabbing the couch cushions, throwing them down on the lush carpet, ignoring most of what you’d just said. “Luke you really don’t have to.” He’d mess up his back if he stayed down there, you weren’t going to let that happen. “Just take the bed.” You grab his wrist to prevent any further preparations he could make. For a moment you thought you felt a static shock from the contact, you block the memory and release him. “You’re cute when you’re bossy.” He attempts a smirk; however premature it may be. “That why you test me so much?” You take over, grabbing the pillows from your side of the mattress to assemble with the others at the foot of the bed. Luke bites his tongue when he wants to say more. He instead walks towards the wardrobe vaguely remembering the sight of spare pillows and a few top sheets in case of a colder night. “Thank you.” You smile as you take them from him.

“That’s not so bad.” You clap your hands together, proud of the little bed you’d made. The couch cushions forming a makeshift mattress, the one blanket draped over as a sheet. The pillows both spare and from the bed were lay around to catch your body if you tossed and turned in the night which you definitely would be doing, you always did when you felt stressed, today was no different. The last blanket was there to cover you as a makeshift duvet. It looked like the beginnings of an excellent fort, not so much a comfortable night’s sleep but it was the best you could do in your newly found confinement. “That’s the worst arrangement I’ve ever seen.” You scowl at him, and he ignores it. He’s kneeling down, shifting the pillows already before halting his movements, retreating from the carpet as quickly as he’d crouched there in the first place. “I’ll be back in like 5 minutes.”

You stand there knowing exactly where he’s gone. He ran to the next room; you hear his heavy fists on the door through the wall. You roll your eyes at the way he runs to his friends for help at every turn. I guess they were more like brothers at this stage, but it didn’t make it any less adorable, and moderately annoying if you were being brutal, and you were. He couldn’t just solve a problem by himself, never had to. He needed the nurturing, the second, third and fourth opinions. The council of his band. Maybe that’s why it was so hard to sweep this fallout under the mat. He was trying to fix it independently without turning to them. He wasn’t even asking you if there was anything he could do, even if you wouldn’t have helped him to figure it out, he never asked you anyway. That’s all you really wanted too, to be the one he could go to, for anything, not entirely without judgement but closely enough. Before you thought about it any longer, he was back with more sheets and more pillows, nearly tripping over the fabric and his own feet to transport them to you.

You took some of the load from him immediately and he smiled at you genuinely for the first time that day. He felt like he’d earned the right to show you some more kindness and he was taking the opportunity gladly. “Okay so what’s the plan then?” You let him lead you, shaking your shoulders out, ready to out yourself to work as if this was such a strenuous task. “Okay so-“ You spent a little while pacing back and forth over the space before moving ultimately decided to deconstruct and set up camp elsewhere. The extent of the collected materials proving too large for the designated area at the end of the bed. Instead, you’d incorporated the sofa into his design, altering the original structure completely. You’d taken the sheet he’d wrangled from Michael’s linen closet, placed it over the couch and tucked it behind where it met the wall to keep it in place. You’d then draped the opposite end over the two chairs that were once beneath the desk and dressing table the hotel provided creating a roof-like effect.

Luke then moved beneath the newly erected structure, layering the pillows with some blankets to create a cushiony base large enough to be considered a twin sized bed (the best Luke could manage with the space). All before adding the couch cushions now covered in fresh sheets as a headrest for more pillows to build on top. He’d even managed to enhance the practicality of the fort so that there were a couple of free plug sockets for you to access to charge your phone and other items while you lay inside. He’d clearly had too much experience working with hotel resources when he was living in them from week to week. You felt both sad at the thought of him having to entertain himself that way but also a little jealous of the idea that he might not have been as lonely as you pictured him. You may not be the only girl he’d built a fort for. You weren’t the only girl he’d chosen to do a lot of things with. You might have been the only girl he’d really cared for though; you just didn’t really know that yet and that was hard enough. All that your new home was missing was another blanket and it didn’t surprise you when he leapt up again to scrounge one from someone else, after already bleeding them dry. You had to be a little impressed with his efforts at an apology, he’d tried so hard for you.

When he came back, he sank to his knees at the base of your little palace, sweat gathering on his brow, breath exhaling and inhaling rapidly enough that you’d thought he might pass out. “Where did you steal that one from?” Judging by the flustered look of him, he’d ran home and back. “Nearly killed housekeeping when I just about wheezed my request.” Your hand flew to your mouth to cover the snort that released itself. He’d never been happier to hear such a dorky sound shoot out of your nose. It may have been embarrassing for you, but for him it was the sweetest sound. He didn’t have a weird fetish or anything, he just knew that you had to be comfortable or really, thoroughly enjoying yourself, to let a sound like that out without wincing in shame afterwards. It meant you were relaxed with him; your walls had rained down against the ground and you weren’t fighting with him or your urge to stay composed any longer. When your tearful eyes met his, tearful with happiness and rib-aching laughter over sadness by the way, he wanted to kiss you.

You wanted to kiss him too. You didn’t. You just thanked him instead. “You might have a future in decorating Mr Hemmings.” You shuffle back under the fortress, lying yourself back, testing the comfort of the bed he’d made. You beckon him in with your finger and he gladly complies, joining you with just enough space between you to settle your hands down without them touching. “Only kid’s rooms though.” You add. “I think this is the dream house for any age.” He argues and you disagree. “For about a week until you start to get claustrophobic.” He couldn’t deny you there. He was already starting to feel it, he could have sworn it was bigger than this.

He sits himself up, looking back down towards you before sending himself out. “Well, I hope you enjoy your new home.” He shuffles on his bottom to get himself to the singular exit. He doesn’t make it very far when your soft hand traps his wrist against the cushions they still lie on. “You don’t have to go yet.” He argues. “Technically I’m not going anywhere, same room and all.” You roll your eyes; you finally show him some normality and he chose to annoy you. “Lie back down.” He doesn’t dare to escape you now. “Yes ma’am.”

He lays himself down, heart suddenly hammering when he notices you’re hand still holding onto him. He smiles to himself uncontrollably the longer it stays there, your thumb starting to stroke over his skin anxiously, further confirming that you were touching him on purpose, that it wasn’t just the accidental impulse it started out to be. “You can hold my hand you know.” His mouth feels drier than the Sahara as he says it. Probably because he had no business suggesting anything for you to do. “I don’t know where it’s been.” You couldn’t resist the dig, even if it actually churned your stomach to let it slip. It still stirred anxiety within you, the thought of him actually being with someone else. “Hilarious.” He scolds before his breath catches, your hand gently prying his fingers open to let yours slip between them like flowing silk.

“I was working up to it.” You admit, turning your head to face the side of his. He felt your gaze, but he didn’t meet it. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to hide his excitement if he did. He opted for the sheet above instead, soft, simple, and pure. Pure enough to absorb his expressions and not reflect them but conceal them instead. “Luke, I think I was jealous.” You drop the bomb on him, exploding the neutral scenario he’d created for you so painstakingly hard. He shoots to sit up, nearly deconstructing the damn thing he spent so long building in apology to you. “Well, you didn’t have to react quite like that.” You retract your hands, pulling them over your lower tummy prodding at the butterflies to quieten them down as you do damage control. “I know it's bad okay, you don’t have to say anything. I already know.” It’s a good thing you let him know because he didn’t think he had it in him to utter a single word right now. His body was short circuiting before your eyes. Jealous. Jealous of him, jealous of her, jealous of what exactly?

“I think- “You cut yourself off, to start again. “I guess I- “No, not quite right again. Maybe you should just throw caution to the wind, you’d done enough pussyfooting around.

Throw. Caution. To. The. Fucking. Wind.

“I booked a single bedded room Luke, what the fuck did you think that meant?” You didn’t think it would come out quite so aggressively, but you weren’t about to take anything back now. His wires were finally uncrossing, his head clearing, he was fully functional once more and recognising his colossal idiocy. “I’m a fucking idiot.” He doesn’t even move. He’s facing forward, palms flat against the blanket, shoulders slumped as the words sink in. “You think? I mean come on, did you think we were gonna top and tails it?” You laugh as you even mention it. “It used to be my favourite trope actually, only one bed, but I guess I see the flaws in it now.” He’s shaking his head to react to your words. “I’m so dumb.” You snort. Yeah, you said that already, you think. This time he doesn’t find your laughter so adorable, this time he hates the sound because it’s just you mocking him and although he thoroughly deserved it, he wanted, no, needed, you to shut the fuck up.

He turned himself around, sitting on his knees, facing you with all the confidence he had left. “Tell me I have another shot.” He’s looking at you and you’re looking away and he’d lift your chin to bring your attention in his direction, but he doesn’t dare overstep physically since his words were doing quite enough of that already. “Tell me I can have another chance.” You can hear his heart pounding in his chest. Good. “Or what?” He’s so close to just slamming your back down and shutting you up in every way he could. “Or I take the not-so-subtle hint,” he nearly winces as he nods towards the bed he’d stupidly ignored before finishing his sentence, “and I don’t ask again.” You know he’s not moved an inch, but it feels like his drifting from you. “I want you to ask again.” He’s about to scream with excitement. “Ask me Luke- “He’s leaning forward carefully, making no real effort to close any gap, just meeting you in the middle, the rest of the distance was yours to close. “Do I have another chance?” You’re not saying a damn thing back and the silence is deadly. “Or do I have to take it from you?” Your eyes meet his briefly before rolling back at the intensity of his words.

His hands float towards your hips, shuffling your body closer to him. You feel as though you weigh nothing at all when he lifts you with such ease. “Need your permission.” His forehead is almost leaning into yours but he’s too frightened to touch you more than he already had just in case you disappeared the moment he stepped it up a notch. Your permission is granted by a kiss to his neck. His eyes fly shut when your lips caress his skin. He never expected any of this, you both knew that he’d made it abundantly clear, but he certainly never would have thought you’d kiss his throat before you so much as pecked him on the lip. It felt like more of a punishment than anything else he’d gone through with you. Luke craved you. He’d sell his soul for a real kiss from you, in his mind he already had done because in what world did he deserve your lips trailing down his chest? The buttons of his shirt flying open without his realisation because he’s so lost in thought deciphering if he’d been imagining the whole ordeal. “Shit, Luke you’re solid.” He’s coming to his senses, his hips rocking up into your hand. The second he opened his eyes he nearly creamed his pants seeing your eyes go wide, lips wet with your salivating at the sight of his fat cock begging to be released from the confinement of his jeans.

You rub over the hardened lump with a morbid curiosity for how long it would take to get him begging you for more. You also can’t help but wonder how easy it was for his previous endeavour to get him like that. He’s pressing his crotch into your hand, his teeth nearly piercing his bottom lip as he melts under your lacklustre touch. He knows he could cum from it but that didn’t mean he couldn’t aspire for more; it wasn’t nearly enough when he knew what you could be offering him. He wants to beg you, but the hoarseness of his dry throat has him whimpering and whining gruffly instead. “I wanna see what the hype is about.” You breathe as you unbutton his jeans, the zipper falling down by itself, your brow arching in surprise. “Jeans too tight?” He curses as he’s nearly freed. Your fingers immediately prod at a peculiar wet patch in the fabric of his underwear and for a moment he wonders why the fuck you’d ever think to touch him like that until he opens his eyes to view for himself.

He’d leaked a substantial amount of precum into the grey cotton of his pants and you didn’t have to be a genius to spot it and know exactly why it was there. “Fucking kill me now.” He threw his head back, hands covering his face before you could spot the redness of his cheeks. “It’s flattering Lu, nothing to be ashamed of.” Your eyes are transfixed on the area, unfazed. “Need to get these off you.” You tug at the waistband of his jeans, wiggling it as much as you could by yourself. You pout when you can’t quite manage it. Luke peaks at you through the gaps he’d made between his fingers. His hips lifted before he even thought about it. Your pout fades, lips parting to gasp instead as not only the denim but the material beneath had slid down to his mid-thigh, leaving him completely exposed to you for the first time.

This time you have to catch your jaw, closing your mouth before you really do dribble at the size of him. His tip is blushing red, leaking with arousal so vastly, its pooling onto his stomach. He’s thicker than you thought he’d be. You knew he felt fat in your hand, but you assumed the fabric assisted the image but no, it was all him. His cock was so thick you’d never be able to take it all at once, not without training anyway. He wonders what’s going on in your beautiful little mind as you stare down at him, not moving a muscle. “Baby please.” Before he could whine much more, you outstretched your tongue to lick the liquid silver he’d left against the soft flesh of his tummy. You vibrate a moan against him at the sweet taste of him and his cock doesn’t just twitch, it practically leaps at vision of you. You’ve shocked him speechless. He starts to wonder if you intentionally avoided the places he needs you the most or if it’s all your own sick little game of revenge.

His hips lift from the floor once more and you use both hands to force him back down before you assault his pretty tip with kisses and kitten licks. You knew they did nothing but frustrate him, barely stimulating him enough to please him, but you were just getting started on this little love letter of yours. You wanted to show him all you had, let him forget anyone else who ever dared to try and compete. You licked over the sensitive little slit at the centre of his tip and he gripped the sheets so hard his knuckles turned white and cracked from the pressure. He needed to remember how helpless you’d made him feel just then, like he could have finished instantly into your mouth.

You hummed an unidentifiable tune as you sucked the first inch of him into your mouth, moaning as an unexpected squirt of liquid shot onto your tongue, more of his early arousal. You never thought you’d ever get him this good. Not before you even took him whole. His body was practically coming alive under your touch, he’d have nothing left to give and you hadn’t even gotten halfway down his length yet. “Oh fuck.” He’s groaning desperately as you retreat from him. You remove all touch, letting his cock slap back against his stomach. He’s never felt so exposed in his life, and it was exhilarating for him. He was completely at your disposal. But you don’t leave him like that for long, even if you’d wanted to. You were about ready to hump the pillow strategically placed beneath you, you were that turned on by the idea of tasting him.

You spat in your hand and gripped the base of his cock before dragging the wetness over him, slowly mixing it with the lubricant he’d already provided. “You’re so hot.” He’s putty in your hands. You smile, not towards him, just down at his cock as you drag your hand firmly over him. You hope to create a torturous pace, nowhere near fast enough to get a release but just enough to keep his hips stuttering, tip leaking and him close to begging for your lips. You were concerned to take him whole and thankfully with your hand wrapped around him, you may not have to. Even if that were difficult for you to accept when you’d needed him so bad. You’d never felt a hunger like this before. You’d never wanted anything in your mouth as much as his cock and there was no point denying either of your urges, this was your chance.

You were so greedy as you took him in your mouth this time. Your hands fisting tightly around him, tongue slurping up his juices as you inched your way down him. “So, fucking greedy for me, fuck baby.” You dare to glance up through your lashes to see him leaning against his elbows, watching you with his jaw slack, tongue swiping over his bottom lip. The moment your eyes meet, he swears he can’t take it anymore and he pushes your head down over him. You let out a strangled moan and he panics at the sound vibrating against him, now terrified he’d hurt you, gearing himself up to pull you back where you were. You fight his hands, surprising him yet another time that evening. You force your lips down until they reach the hand you coated his base with, and he hits the back of your throat with a grunt.

The noise Luke made could be compared with one he’d release if he were punched in the chest, sounding both winded and in pain. You suck hard on as much of him as you can before pulling back and throwing yourself down again. “Shit, just like that, oh fuck, use that tongue.” He’s gripping your hair tightly in one hand and fighting himself strongly to avoid pushing you down again with the other. Instead, he tugged on your locks as a form of encouragement, and it had your stomach doing somersaults.

The noise of you slurping, choking, and gagging around him was a symphony of pleasure and he’d half the mind to record it and keep it forever if he could but he couldn’t fucking move from you if he tried. If he left you for even a millisecond, he’d never forgive himself. He was finally, exactly where he needed to be, tightly packed into your hot little mouth, his new place to call home and what a glorious home it was turning out to be. He belonged there.

Scratch everything, he previously thought about never being satisfied in bed. He’d never felt more wrong in his entire life. He would eat his words as you ate him, gulping down whatever he could give you. His cock had never been harder, never been so happy. There wasn’t a better way for him to describe it when you sucked on him like that. He had to fight himself to keep his eyes open, to remain here with you, knowing that you were everything he’d been waiting for.

You looked so gorgeous taking him too. He wanted this image tattooed on his eyelids. He felt like his cock might burst when you started rocking your own hips while you inched back and forth over him. You’d loved his cock so much you couldn’t prevent yourself from getting off over it. Right in front of him, you humped your hot little cunt into the sheets as a desperate attempt to release the growing tension between your legs. “If you don’t keep your hips still, I’m gonna cum down your throat, do you hear me?” You furrow your brows, turning your attention to his face. He’s sweating, its dripping down his cheeks so nicely you almost mistook them for tears. You can’t help but be shy about his accusations. You didn’t intend to do anything. You instinctively chased a feeling against your will and if it was anyone’s fault it was his. You were aching for him to fill something more than your mouth. No matter how good he felt pressing against the walls of your throat, no room left to breathe or utter a sound, you wanted his size elsewhere.

You continued to take him, this time consciously stilling your hips but huffing every now and then when you felt the urge to move. You may have swivelled a little, but you’d hoped he’d be kind enough to let it go amiss. You weren’t that lucky. Luke’s hands leave your hair, and you were whining without the feeling of him coaxing you on until you simply couldn’t whine anymore. His hands had slinked down to the column of your throat, linking beneath where the two of you were already connected. He applied a pressure to the edges, blindly but cautiously trying not to harm you or block your air way completely. He clamped down little by little until not a peep was heard from your perfect mouth and he used your silence to pull you down until your nose was meeting his pelvis, till he felt his own cock pulsating down your throat whilst in his hands. He let out the heaviest pants as you tried to gag around him. That’s when it hit you.

When you saw this gaping mouth, his usually light eyes darkened like the night sky, his cheeks burning hot like a furnace. You came without a single touch, a slither of friction, not even a weak attempt at conversation. As if he was in your mind, knowing what had just happened to you through some unbreakable bond, he released you from him, hands shifting to pat your head, smooth his fingers through your hair and settle you down from this insane high of yours. You choke out a moan and your head crashes against his torso. You’d never known yourself to come undone like that. You were a giver and always had been. It was no secret to you or anyone you’d fucked, just how soaked the act got you but to cum from that alone. To finish with his cock filling your mouth. You felt your cunt continually spasming.

“What the fuck?” You question yourself breathlessly, ashamed of yourself for letting your guard slip like that. It was Luke who was meant to cum first, not you. It was him who needed to know just what he’d been missing. Your body had betrayed you. It was mortifying. You hid your face to escape the mockery you knew would be coming. You were so prepared for it, so distracted from the original task at hand, you’d stopped touching him all together. If he weren’t so ridiculously in love with you, he’d be telling you to get back to it. He was so on edge it wouldn’t take more than a couple flicks of your wrist to finish him anyway. Because that, that was the most incredible thing he’d ever witnessed.

You were hiding away from him, shying away as if it were something he’d judge you for. If anything, he was blessed by it. You’d literally wanted his cock down your throat so badly you couldn’t stop yourself from finishing when you felt it there. You had fucking ruined him. He would never look at you the same way again. He’d think of this moment, the bulge in your throat when you couldn’t contain him, the tears staining your cheeks from the fullness, the hand wrapped around him tight like a vice because you had to just touch him with more than just your mouth. He adored you so much you’d never, ever understand just how much.

Luke nudges you gently, hand slipping under your chin, lifting you up, the rest of your body deciding to go with it. Your red and puffy eyes meet his pathetically. “Gotta let me take you baby.” You find yourself nodding, even if you didn’t really know what he meant. He had been taking you. He’d had your mind, body, and soul, what more could there be? “Gotta get these clothes off for me.” His hands stroke over your shoulders, still coated in a t-shirt now dampened with sweat. You nod lazily before reaching for the hem to grip onto and lift. “Wait.” He pushes his forehead against yours, hands preventing yours from following his instruction. “Can I kiss you?” You stare dumbfounded. You’d done a lot more than kiss him now and yet he still had to ask. “Taste like you though.” You mutter. “Think I can live with that.”

His kiss breathes life back into your aching form. You feel like you can straighten your back again, sit tall, sit confidently without gripping his thighs for support. Luke kisses you slowly, not slow in a disappointing manner, not too vanilla to take away from the passion of the moment. It’s just pleasantly slow, soft, and serene. His lips feel nice. You decide you quite like the plumpness of his bottom lip in comparison with the sharpness of his top. You sink into his mouth, hand cupping his cheek as you glide your own over his.

His hands wander to your waist, grabbing a handful of flesh before fleeing further south. Your tongue licks a stripe over his bottom lip which he takes as a sign to part them. You slip your tongue into the warm cavern of his mouth, and he tastes himself with a whimper. His palms smack down on your ass hard enough to echo it like the sound of a cracking whip. The erotic sounds of your tongues dancing with each other should put you off but it just doesn’t. The wetness is invited, the warmth is accepted, the sensation had your hips rolling again and God there must be something wrong with you. You couldn’t fill your void with enough of him. He just smiled into your kiss because he’d felt exactly the same way.

“Gotta- “he tugs your shirt, “take- “lifting it clumsily above your hips between kisses, “your- “you start to feel the coolness of the exposure as it climbs higher, “these- “it’s becoming an unbearable taunt, “fucking clothes off.” He pulls back to watch you discard the material as fast as you could so you can throw yourself into his lap. He’s halfway through removing the remainder of his jeans when you start to remember the rest of you is also still clothed.

You both fumble to remove your trousers and any other barriers separating you from each other. You don’t have a single drop of energy left to allow yourself to feel self-conscious when his eyes wrack over your body. It’s hard to feel anything other than perfect when his top responses are to wrap his own hand around his cock and suck his bottom lip between his teeth. “You’re so pretty Luke.” You sigh and he whines, gripping himself just that little bit tighter at the tone of innocence in your voice. “Yeah?” You nod in confirmation before flicking his hand away, replacing it with your own. He fucks up into your hand unabashedly, too swept away to care, too comfortable with you to reconsider the impulse.

“Need you to touch me.” You mewl, swiping your thumb over the throbbing head of him similarly to how you did it with your tongue before. “Where baby?” He knows exactly where. “Touch you where?” He needs to hear it; he’s vibrating just considering it. “You know where.” You match him. “No, no, gotta tell me.” You slow your movements, hand loosening around his cock causing his smile to falter. “Where do you need me?” You curse him. “You fucking know where.” You glare at him before you lie yourself down, arms crossing over your bare chest, sick of how ridiculously needy you were that you would put up with this childishness for the sake of another orgasm.

“How can I know I’m right if you don’t tell me?” His fingers have moved to your hip as he lay on his side, watching you closely, walking his fingers over your scorching hot skin. “Playing games now baby?” You pout towards him in a final attempt to win him over. You could just kill him for giving you as much of a fight as you did him. The two of you too stubborn for your own good.

“Where do you want me?” He asks again, voice shifting, dripping with a power that had you weak. “Same place I’ve always wanted you.” You soften your tone to reel him in and for a moment he believes he’ll never win this fight. Then you speak again. “My pussy, need you inside me, please Lu, please baby, waited so long.” You plead for your life. His cock is actually hurting it’s so fucking tight and hard right now. “Your pussy?” He offers as a question, and you hardly notice it until he speaks again.

His hand slips between your legs, swiping his index finger through the hot, sticky mess made between your thighs. “You think this is yours?” He continues to pry. “It’s not yours babe.” You open your mouth to ask what he’s alluding to, but he silences you, slipping a finger into your hot cunt, you clamping down on him immediately. “Not yours baby, your pussy’s fucking mine.” The noise you made was unholy but the look he gave you even more so. “See,” he coos, “you know it too, bucking up into my hand like that, such a good girl for me.” Unsurprisingly to you, that simple term of endearment, that affectionate little name, is the straw that broke the camel’s back. Any morsel of self-respect you’d ever had left was fucking desecrated. “Spread your legs for me angel.”

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sos fanfic #5sos fic #5sos imagine #5sos one shot #5sos luke #5sos luke smut #5sos luke imagine #5sos luke fic #5sos luke hemmings #luke 5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings smut #luke hemmings oneshot #luke hemmings fanfiction #luke hemmings imagine #luke hemmings 5sos

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just-dreaming-marvel · 2 years

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Sneak Peeks

I’ve been writing while I’ve been away. I’m still not fully back until February, but here are a few sneak peeks to get you through.

Thanks for the support and love! Please share your reactions and what you’re excited about or your predictions.

THE TRUTH ABOUT LOVE ~ 13

Steve felt like you had a second instinct when it came to ignoring and avoiding him. Not that he knew what he’d say when he saw you anyway. Steve knew that sorry wouldn’t be enough of an apology—for either of you. No one ever deserves to be called a bitch. It was a cruel, disgusting word. His Ma made sure he knew that growing up. Oh, how disappointed his Ma would be if she found out what he had called you.

Though Steve wanted to see you so desperately, he understood why and knew that you deserve the respect of time and privacy.

THE BOND BETWEEN US ~ 73

“Y/N and I are endangering the mission,” Luke said, eyes still glued on the ship. “We shouldn’t have come.”

“It’s your imagination, kid. Come on. Let’s keep a little optimism here.”

“He’s right, Han,” you spoke up, feeling more uneasy with each passing second. “Is there an escape pod on the ship?”

“No, besides it would be too risky to release one right now.”

“Sister.”

Vader’s voice in your head caused you to gasp.

“Y/N,” Leia’s voice was full of concern as her hand came to rest on your knee, “are you alright?”

“You should have stayed away,” Vader continued.

“Why do you care?” You felt Vader’s frustration grow. “You won’t kill me. I know you won’t.”

“You know nothing.”

I’M FROM BROOKLYN, TOO ~ 157

Y/N carefully walked out of the house, noting that Geraldine had disappeared into Wanda’s house. She slowly walked toward the house, purple tendrils glowing around her fingers just in case. Suddenly, Geraldine flew out of the door and into the air, surrounded by Wanda’s red magic. Wanda marched out of the house, hands glowing red.

“Wanda!” Y/N called, only to go ignored.

“The drones, the missiles,” Wanda continued, holding Geraldine up in the air. “Pietro?”

“No, wait, Pietro, no, no, no, that wasn’t us,” Geraldine insisted.

“All you do is lie!”

Wanda threw Geraldine down. Geraldine caught herself, causing Y/N to gasps in realization that she had powers. Geraldine panted as she stood up straight.

“The only lies I’ve told are the ones you put in my mouth,” she told Wanda.

LESSONS IN LOVE ~ 7

Obi-Wan truly didn’t know how to help you. You were clearly in an extreme amount of pain and he didn’t even know why. He sat down behind you, his hand moving to touch you. He stopped himself before making contact, hovering over your arm. What if his touch makes your pain worse? The one thing he truly knew was that he was not leaving you. Standing up from the bed, Obi-Wan slipped his phone out of his pocket.

“Where—where are you going?” You croaked, trying your head back slightly to see him.

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flannels-and-fannypacks · 4 years

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Will They Won’t They | Part 2/4 [Reggie Peters]

Pairing: Reggie Peters x fem!reader

Words: 7.5k

Summary: Reggie and reader were the best of friends up until middle school where they drifted apart and decided never to speak to each other again. What happens when a shared algebra class and a resulting detention force them to spend and increasing amount of time together. Will it be enough to overcome the mutual hate? Or was the relationship doomed from the start.

WARNINGS: swears & ANGST

A/N: hey babes it’s drea posting :) i hope you enjoy this part as much as mimi and i did writing it! again, if you enjoy our writing, please like, comment, and reblog! and if you want to be updated, dm us to join our taglist! sending my love - drea :)

“Come on, let me take you out! We need to get you a new outfit for the gig coming up,” Rose insisted, dragging you to her car.

“Who said I was coming?” you frowned stubbornly, tugging your arms back but to no avail.

“I did, now let's go,” she strongly urged, pushing you into the backseat while she hopped in the passenger side and Luke hopped in the driver’s seat.

“Rose, he’s coming too! Oh, hell no!” you refused, giving the boy a pointed look.

“Sorry (N/N), I can’t drive this car, it doesn’t have learner’s insurance,” Rose apologized.

“Nice to see you Lady Bunny,” Luke grinned with a wink and you sighed.

“Okay, let’s just get this over with, okay?” you prompted and Luke nodded turning the keys in the ignition.

“Whatever you say bunny, you’re the boss.”

“Would you stop calling me that Patterson, it’s worse than when Reggie calls me Cookie,” you grumbled, your nose scrunching up in disgust.

“Oh lighten up, at least you’ve got some cute nicknames,” Rose chuckled and reached a hand back to hold yours. “We’re gonna have a blast (N/N), just trust me.”

Walking past countless amounts of stores, it seemed as though Rose’s plan to find you something nice to wear was pointless. You and Rose had very different ideas of fashion, ideas that clashed far too much for Rose’s liking.

“There’s no way I’m wearing that!” you exclaimed, eyeing the brightly colored jacket in Rose’s hand.

“It’s so pretty though!” she insisted. “The texture, the color, the price? It’s a bargain, (N/N)!”

You rolled your eyes. “Then you buy it for yourself,” you told her, pulling out a simple knit sweater from the rack.

“You know what, I will,” Rose settled before looking at the sweater in your hand. “Oh you can’t wear that! You’ll look like a grandma who got lost at a rock concert!”

You frowned at your friend, holding the sweater to your chest. “I always wear things like this,” you pointed out, slightly hurt.

Rose tugged the sweater out of your hand and shoved it back into the rack. Luke popped his head up from the other side of the rack. “Yeah, but at a rock gig, you can’t go as your typical self. A poor little bunny like you would never survive a place like that,” he explained with a pout.

“Lord, have mercy,” you grabbed your necklace pendant and kissed it, frowning when you realized you weren’t wearing your normal silver cross.

“Is that like some white person good luck thing you picked up?” she asked suspiciously and you chuckled.

“No, I just thought I was wearing a different necklace. I don't know how I could have mistaken it.”

“What is it?” Rose inquired further, taking the pendant from your hands and looking at the details. “A horseshoe? I didn’t take you for a horse girl.”

“Yeah- no, I’m not… Reggie gave it to me in middle school, he won it at a county fair or something, I can’t remember,” you explained.

“Reggie gave it to you?” Luke inquired.

“Thought I said that already Patterson,” you shot back with a roll of your eyes.

Luke fought the urge to say something sarcastic back to you. “No, I’m just- Reggie?” he repeated. “I thought he...hates you, and vice versa.”

You walked down the aisle, skimming through the various articles of clothing. “And you’d be correct,” you told him.

“It was before you moved here,” Rose explained. “She and Reggie used to be best friends up until middle school,”

“Yep, but that’s in the past and we’re in the present so let’s focus on that,” you rushed, already feeling uncomfortable about the topic.

“No let's not,” Luke rested his forearms on the rack in front of you, resting his chin on top of them. “Tell us more,” he pleaded, pouting like a child.

You glared at the boy, tossing a sequined shirt at his face, making him stagger back. “And why should I, it’s none of your business, no offense Rose, and I’ll probably tell you at some point anyway,”

“None taken cariña,” she chuckled and continued looking for some clothing that would be appropriate for the gig.

Luke sighed, following close behind you. “But why can’t you tell me now?” he whined like a child. “I adopted you-”

“Against my will,” you cut in, flicking his forehead.

“Details,” he insisted. “I’m just saying, shouldn’t we be close now? Don’t you trust me?”

You took a deep breath. “Of course I do, Luke,” you reassured him, your patience thinning.

“Then why not tell me?” he pressed.

“Because it hurts!” you finally broke.

The two friends seemed to freeze at your sudden exclamation. The quiet small girl was cracking and revealing the broken china doll inside.

“It hurts, okay?” you repeated. “And having to tell the story of how I lost my best friend for some stupid reason that I don’t even know...it hurts beyond belief. The worst part is that he probably doesn’t even care. I loved him, okay? I loved him because he was my best friend. Even when I had no one I had Reggie and I used to think that nothing in the world could ever tear us apart.” you admitted. “When we stopped talking, he took a piece of me with him. And I know that I am never going to get that back.”

Luke quietly moved over and past the racks of clothing pulling you into his chest and giving you a tight squeeze.

“Bunny I’m so sorry. I had no idea,”

You let out a humorless laugh. “No one knew,” you told him. “It’s not your fault, Luke, you were just curious.”

“Still,” Luke said. “I feel so bad. Maybe I could try and talk to him and-”

You shook your head repeatedly. “Maybe let’s not,” you countered. “It’s in the past now. There’s nothing I can really do about it and the last thing I want to do is rope my friends into this, too.”

“Well then how about this,” Rose suggested, giving you a prompt to change the topic while holding up a long sleeved white turtleneck along with an oversized black shirt sporting the album art of a famous rock band.

“I actually think I might be able to tolerate that,” you let out a soft chuckle.

“I’m hoping you have some ripped jeans at home, maybe some converse?”

“Yeah don’t worry, I’m not entirely hopeless,” you assured them and Rose laughed while Luke just pulled you in tighter for a brotherly hug.

“Look at you being mature! We love you, bunny,” he told you, swaying as he held you tight in his arms.

“Love you, too, I guess, Patterson,” you laughed. “Let me go, you’re crushing me!”

The second Luke pulled away, he leaned back in to ruffle your hair. “Now come on, Bunny, the gig starts in three hours. You all down for lunch?”

Shrugging your shoulders, you nodded. “Why not?” you replied.

Rose wrapped an arm around the both of you. “Anything but hotdogs,” she giggled.

“Agreed!” you quickly vetoed any other option and ran giggling with Rose to grab lunch leaving Luke to pay for the clothes. You were lucky he adopted you otherwise that would be a tricky one to get out of.

—

“I feel like this is an illegal number of questions to have on a test, it’s literally taking so long to mark these,” you grumbled to yourself, scribbling notes with red ink on the margins of the freshman biology test.

You had lost count of how many detentions had passed and lost track of how many were still to come, at this rate they could go on until the end of the year and in all honesty you probably wouldn’t notice.

You looked over at Reggie who was marking some short answer questions on a test, seeing his bright red check mark where there clearly shouldn’t have been one.

“That’s wrong”, you said, looking back down at your paper.

“What do you mean?”

“That. You marked it right, it’s wrong,”

“Why?” he asked curiously, putting his pen down so he could listen to you.

“Because,” you sighed exasperatedly, pinching the bridge of your nose. “the mitochondria is not the party house of the cell,”

“Well I say the mitochondria can do whatever it wants,” Reggie proclaimed, adding another check mark to the test. “Because it’s the boss,”

“No that’s the nucleus,”

“The what?” he formed and you banged your head on the desk in front of you,

“How in the world did you pass freshman science,”

“Like the rest of us, I cheated,” he countered and you looked at him with a shocked expression on your face. “Oh my God, lighten up Cookie, I was kidding, it’s been four years and I’ve barely taken any science classes since I just forgot,” he rolled his eyes.

You moved your head back to your work, only to toss the pen down in frustration moments later to try and massage a hand cramp.

“Stupid pen, stupid tests, stupid detention,” you grumbled under your breath, honestly feeling like you wanted to cry.

You pinched the bridge of your nose and sat back in your seat, debating whether you should fake an emergency so you could just go home.

Reggie silently reached over to your pile of tests and eyeballed splitting it in half, taking the unmarked tests and placing them in his own pile.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you said flatly.

“Sooner we finish the sooner we can go home and it didn’t seem like you were going to go any faster,”

You stayed silent for a moment, carefully reaching for your own again before whispering, “Thanks,” to which Reggie only gave you a nod.

The silence between you both was excruciating. It shouldn’t have been this way, it should have been easy to talk to him like it always used to be.

So, you took a deep breath and unclenches your jaw, casually continuing to write while asking,

“So how’s the band?”

There was a short silence, probably due to his slight shock in you even asking or trying to have a civil conversation and his first instinct as usual was to block it.

“Why do you care?”

You rolled your eyes and continued to do your work, at least you tried that was all you could do. The ball was in his court.

When he looked up and saw your tired expression he realized there really didn’t seem to be an ulterior motive at this point so with an audible sigh he answered,

“It’s great, we’re working on writing songs for our demo CD,”

You nodded and checked off some multiple choice questions before you heard Reggie clear his throat and spoke again,

“How about you? How’s the family?”

“They’re alright,” you said, your lips pressed in a thin line. “I mean as good as they can be. Things haven’t changed much.”

Reggie nodded in understanding, aware of your family’s financial situation.

“Is that why you push yourself?” he asked again. You froze, your hand holding the grading pen not moving. “Hours in the library, studying until your brain practically explodes with information.” You raised an eyebrow curiously at him, making him blush sheepishly. “I just know from uh, Mr. Mallard. He likes to talk, you and I both know that.” With a small smile on your face, you nodded.

“I guess you’re right,” you finally answered. “If I get a scholarship maybe I can at least make my way through a degree without plummeting further into debt.” You kicked aimlessly at the floor. “I just feel so guilty. Like...if I don’t do the right thing or make one stupid mistake I’ll disappoint my parents.”

Reggie frowned, setting the testing papers down. “You know you’d never disappoint your parents, Cookie” he told you. Chills went down your spine upon realizing he didn’t have the usual malice and sarcasm behind his name for you. “They would never be upset with you.”

You laugh humorlessly. “Right again, Flicka,” you sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe the better term would be I would be disappointed in myself? I don’t want to fail them or anything by slacking off. They’ve already done so much for me.”

“But that shouldn’t stop you from just-” Reggie drummed his pen against his thigh as he thought of the right words to use. “living? Cookie, we’re still kids. The point of high school is to just let loose and have fun, not drown yourself in schoolwork and scholarship essays.”

You playfully flicked a paper clip in his direction. “I bet you’d know all about letting loose, wouldn’t you?” you teased.

Reggie grasped his chest, gasping in feign hurt. “You wound me, Cookie,” he dramatically exclaimed, making you giggle and roll your eyes.

As the two of you continued your light banter, you were reminded of the days you and Reggie would spend at the park, competing to see who could swing the highest between the two of you. The weight on your back lifted slightly as you started to sense a bit of normalcy, no longer at each other’s throats for any reason you could find. It felt good to talk like this with Reggie, to “let loose” as he said and finally set down all the baggage you’ve been carrying since you two stopped being best friends. Everything in that moment felt right. Stress, detention, and ungraded biology tests long forgotten.

After what seemed like hours passed, Mr. Siezlio came back to the classroom, announcing that you were done for the day. You and Reggie surprisingly continued your conversation outside of the classroom, Reggie sharing more stories of the band as you giggled with every shenanigan. However, the moment you stepped foot outside, Reggie’s composure changed.

“Alex!” you exclaimed, running over to the boy. Alex had his arms outstretched, pulling you into a friendly hug that Reggie considered far too chummy. He narrowed his eyes at his best friend, watching and making sure his hands were where he could see them.

Reggie walked over to the two, a scowl forming on his face. “Alex, what are you doing here?” he asked, bitterness visibly clear in his tone.

The blond drummer raised an eyebrow in confusion at Reggie’s attitude, but decided not to address it. “(Y/N) and I have an AP chemistry project coming up so she’s going to sleep over at my place so we can work on it.”

You grinned up at Alex. “We’re probably going to have to pull an all-nighter to get it all done tonight,” you told him, making him groan.

Reggie’s lips fell to a thin line. “Good luck trying to do that,” he muttered. “Alex falls asleep before eleven o’clock. I’d pay to see him stay up past that.”

Alex rolled his eyes playfully. “When my grade is on the line, I think I can manage,” he said. “Especially after that one experiment in class you left me to do, I think we both definitely need that A.”

“Yeah, Alex can’t do titrations for shit,”

“I tried my best,” Alex fought back.

“And what did that get us?” you pressed.

Alex’s head hung low. “Erm, a B,” he muttered.

Reggie stared at the two in disbelief. He couldn’t comprehend this ‘nerd talk.’ “A B?!” he exclaimed. “You were disappointed with a B? I would have been happy with C-,” he shook his head and pulled his bag up higher on his shoulder, preparing himself to part ways.

You shuddered at the thought of such a low grade. “I’d never even begin to imagine a C,” you said aloud.

Reggie smirked at you. “Well, you are a nerd, Cookie,” he teased, making you shove him.

“Ass,” you shot back.

“(N/N), we gotta go if we don’t wanna stay up all night,” Alex said anxiously.

You nodded, taking Alex’s hand in yours and squeezing it. Reggie glared down at your intertwined hands, anger bubbling rapidly in his chest.

“Bye, Flicka,” you cheerfully waved goodbye.

Reggie didn’t look you in the eye, only staring down at the sidewalk with his hands shoved in his pocket. “Whatever, Cookie.”

—

Band practice the next afternoon -to say the least- was probably the shittiest the band had ever played. Luke and Bobby were incredibly confused why Alex continuously dropped his drumsticks and refused to make eye contact with anyone and why Reggie looked so angry that he could snap the strings of his bass.

“Okay, guys, guys! Come on we have a gig in like a week! We can’t go out there playing like this!” Luke insisted and Bobby nodded in agreement. “Alex I haven’t seen you fumble this much since we tried to play football and Reggie you currently have negative three hundred and forty-five dollars and seventy-three cents in your bank account so I would recommend loosening up on the strings because none of us can afford more.”

“Yeah, what the hell is going on with you two?” Bobby added and Reggie sent a cold glare towards Alex that didn’t go unnoticed by anyone.

“What was that?” Luke asked, pointing in between the two boys.

“What was what?” Reggie asked, his head snapping back to send the same glare to Luke.

“Okay you two clearly have things you need to settle so get it out there,” Bobby nodded, motioning to the floor, metaphorically saying it was open for one of them to take.

Alex took a deep breath and nervously started, “Well I think it’s pretty clear Reggie is mad at me it’s just I have no idea as to why,” he shrugged his shoulders. “D-Did I eat your sandwich or something? A meatball sub maybe?”

“That’s not it, but did you? Because if you did you are dead to me,” Reggie said venomously.

“No! No, I didn’t,” he insisted quickly, very much so wanting to stay alive and not murdered at the hands of his best friend. “But what the hell is making you mad Reggie, I’ve never seen you like this,”

Luke and Bobby seemed to nod carefully in agreement and Reggie swung his bass around the strap so it was hanging from his back.

“You need to stay away from (Y/N),” Reggie said in a cautionary tone, pointing directly at Alex.

“Lady bunny?” Luke asked curiously with furrowed brows and Reggie just looked at him back with confusion before remembering the nickname.

“Yeah, I guess, but seriously Alex, you shouldn’t be with her,”

“What do you mean I shouldn’t be with her. (Y/N) and I are just friends! We’ve been lab partners since freshman year,” Alex insisted. “And in case you forgot I’m kind of really gay?”

“That doesn’t change the fact that you shouldn’t be spending time with her!” Reggie exclaimed furiously. Was he mad that you were spending time with his friends or that you seemed to be getting just as close with them as he once was with you. Right now, that was all a muddled mess in Reggie’s mind and heart so naturally, he started spewing out words that probably didn’t even have meaning at that point.

Bobby discreetly made his way to Luke. “Hey Luke,” he whispered. “I can go ask Rose to make some popcorn,” he shrugged.

“Oh yeah, for sure, and tell her to come in, she’ll wanna see this,” Luke added, equally invested, as their two other bandmates seemed to really be going at it.

“Reggie, you need to calm down. (Y/N)’s my friend, too. I don’t know any of your past, but you can’t tell me I should just drop her completely,” Alex said in a level toned voice.

“Oh don’t act like you know (Y/N) better than I do,” Reggie snapped. “I know her like the back of my hand, and I know she’s bad news.”

“Do you really even know her?” Alex pressed.

“Of course I do! Who was there when she broke her ankle? Me. Who was there when her fish died? Me! And who was there when everyone else wasn’t?”

“Not you anymore,” Alex cut in softly. Reggie's rant stopped short. The teen stopped pacing to look his friend in the eyes. “Reggie, I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but you have to admit to yourself, you still care about her.”

Reggie fumed silently. “I don't know what you’re talking about.”

Alex pressed his lips together. “I think you do, Reggie.”

“Alex you don’t get it! (Y/N) and me, that’s over!” his anger had sent him over the top. “Stop trying to say something’s there! It’s not!”

“Listen to yourself Reggie, just listen to yourself talk! If you heard what I’m hearing I think you’d have a different opinion,”

“Just-Just!...” Reggie pursed his lips and grabbed the neck of his bass pulling it back in front of him. “Can we just take it from the top,”

“Y’know Reggie I think Alex has a point,” Luke butted in, remembering his previous conversation with you, realizing how much losing Reggie had actually affected you.

“Oh joy,” Reggie sighed.

“Just hear me out,” Luke continued, regardless of Reggie’s reluctance. “Why did you get into music in the first place?”

“Because I loved it,” Reggie scoffed as if it was obvious.

“No really Reg, be honest,” Bobby added. “Specifically when did you start playing music more seriously?”

Reggie bit his lip, hard enough to draw blood, tasting the metallic liquid in his mouth he shrugged his shoulders and flopped onto the couch.

“I got into it after I stopped talking to (Y/N),” he admitted. “But what’s your point?” he asked.

“You don't confront your problems Reggie,” Alex explained. “You came to music because it helped you block out the fact that losing her tore you apart.”

“Well if it tore me apart then why am I still here, huh? Why am I happy? Why am I even alive? If she was my everything then how the hell am I still here?!”

“Because she’s keeping you here,” Luke whispered. Reggie turned to Luke, at a loss for words. “Because even though you two had a falling out, you know that seeing her everyday at school...you’re glad she’s okay.”

Reggie ran his fingers through his hair. “You don’t know me,” he snapped back. “You don’t know what I think, or who I-I care about. You just don’t, so you can’t stop playing “mom,” Luke.”

Luke slowly approached him. “I don’t understand you,” he said truthfully. “You never open up or tell us anything. You say we don’t know you, you won’t even tell us anything. If no one knows you, then who does-“

“(Y/N)!” Reggie finally broke. The boys froze in their spots, only staring back at their struggling friend. “(Y/N), okay? She’s the only one who listened to me, the only one who cared. And now she’s gone because I pushed her away. All because I was so stupid and my pride got in the way. It’s my fault the best thing in my life is gone.”

Reggie realized what he had said and quickly pushed himself up and away from the couch.

“I’m sorry, I have to go,” he shook his head and tried to make his way out of the studio.

“Reggie wait!” his friends called back for him, but he shook his head and pushed his way out of the door just as Rose was heading into the studio. “Reggie come on! We’re sorry!”

Biting the inside of his cheek he cursed under his breath, knowing that they were right. He did push people away before they got too close and right now he didn’t have the strength to blame himself so he blamed you instead.

—

Reggie stormed into the almost empty library on Saturday, having had to walk to his detention from his home by the beach which was not close to say the least.

When he pushed on the door to come into the library with such force it startled you as you organized the books and put them back on the shelves.

Reggie didn’t speak to you as he tossed his things to the side and grabbed a cart, going to his designated spot in the library.

You were careful to not try and push any buttons, knowing he was in a fragile state, it was kind of obvious, but it was even harder not to address.

“Hey Flicka?” you said gently, trying to be as compassionate as possible.

“What,” he spat, shoving some books onto the shelf without much care.

“What’s the matter?” you asked, expecting to be met with barriers, that seemed to be all that comprised your relationship now. Walls, fences, barriers, and barricades.

“None of your business,” he said, his breathing slightly heavier as the tears burned in the back of his eyes and the lump grew in the back of his throat.

“I-I mean are you sure, you seem really agitated,” you noted and he didn’t respond. “Reggie you don’t have to hide anything. It can be my business if you want it to-”

“No it can’t!” he snapped, throwing the books that were in his hands on the table. You flinched at the loud noise the impact made. “It stopped being your business the second we stopped talking to each other so just leave it Cookie,” his voice carrying the same hostility it did weeks ago.

You paused for a moment, looking down at your pile of books before whispering,

“They’re fighting again… aren’t they?”

Reggie’s throat was burning, he wanted to scream into a void, empty himself of the pain because you were right, you were always right. Even when it felt like you didn’t know each other you were always there proving him wrong.

His hands started to shake and he dropped the books he had just picked up again, turning around so you couldn’t see him. Reggie didn’t know if it was because he was embarrassed or if he just didn’t want you to worry.

You wanted to reach over to your old friend, offer him some sort of comfort because you knew Reggie’s family and you knew how hard it was on him.

So you did the next best thing. Pulling out your MP3 player from your pocket you went over to Mr. Mallard’s speaker system and plugged it in, turning up the volume to the max, letting the soft plucking of guitar strings fill the library and the hallway surrounding you.

You went back to your pile and turned your back to him, giving him some sort of privacy, what you thought he needed.

Reggie wasn’t sure if there was another time in his life where he had listened to this song and related to it more.

So when he wiped his nose on his sleeve and turned around and saw you, he realized he didn’t want to be far away from you, he didn’t want to yell at you, he didn’t want that distance.

So he quickly pushed the chair and table with wheels out of his way before stopping right behind you, carefully reaching for your hand that was resting by your side.

When you felt his long slim fingers wrap around your own you turned around to look him in the eyes. They were still the same beautiful shade of blue and green, but unlike the last time you really looked into those eyes, they carried so much hurt. So much hurt and sadness that should never have been there in the first place.

But through it all they said I’m sorry. I’m sorry for yelling at you, I’m sorry for all of this.

And you nodded, back, accepting that apology.

So he didn’t hesitate a moment, wrapping his arms tightly around you and burying his face in your shoulder. You nearly gasped in surprise as his grip around you tightened. It was as though he was afraid of losing you, and didn’t want to let you go. Lucky for him, you felt the same.

Slowly, your hands found their way around his neck. You could feel Reggie’s tears dampen your shirt, but you couldn’t care less.

“It’s going to be okay, Reggie,” you whispered.

Reggie sniffled quietly, shaking his head. “Don’t say that,” he murmured.

“Say what?” you asked.

“Say that everything’s going to be okay,” he continued in a hushed but angry voice. “Say that everything is all sunshine and rainbows when at the end of the day my parents will still fucking hate each other while yours struggle to keep their home.”

You stiffened under his touch. His words struck a nerve in you, but you pushed down the anger in you. He was hurting, and what he needed was a friend, not a fixer.

Instead, you squeezed him tight against you. “Then, don’t think,” you said. “Clear your mind and- and forget everything. Forget your parents, forget this stupid detention and the musty smell of these ancient books, forget me.”

Reggie dug his head deeper into your chest. “I don’t want to forget you, Cookie,” he murmured. “I-I don’t want you to leave me again a-and-“

You shushed him. “I’m not leaving, Flicka,” you reassured him. “I promise.”

Reggie let out another broken sob. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I-it’s just that we both don’t have a good record with those. Promises, I mean.”

“Let’s clear the slate,” you suggested softly. “Start over to a point where all broken promises of the past are nothing but a mere memory, okay?”

Reggie nodded, placing his hands over yours. “I’d really like that Cookie,”

You smiled, removing your hand from his cheek and linking your pinky with his. It was just like when you were kids, but slightly different. This time, it had so much more meaning of hope and love. “Then take my promise to your heart, Flicka, because I’m not leaving. No matter what.”

Reggie rested his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and letting whatever tears had gathered to fall down his cheeks. You lifted your head slightly, pressing a soft kiss to the spot right in between his eyes, letting your lips linger there a moment longer than they should have.

“Dance with me Cookie?” he whispered.

“Flicka, you know I suck at that,” you laughed quietly, ducking your head as your cheeks tinged red.

“Don’t worry,” he sniffed as you wiped a few of his stray tears. “I won’t leave you hanging,”

“Okay,” you breathed, allowing his hands to gently hold your waist while yours were wrapped around his shoulders.

As you gently swayed in the library you could vividly see two young teenagers in a brightly lit room dancing to the same song.

You could hear Reggie softly humming along with the tune, but when you opened your eyes and looked at him you were brought back to reality and realized what you needed to do,

“I’m gonna call the boys okay?” you said gently and Reggie winced. “I won’t tell them. I was just going to stay over at Rose’s place tonight so maybe we could all stay in the studio.” you suggested. “So you don’t have to go home.”

“Y-You’d do that?” he asked, a certain tone of surprise in his voice.

You pressed your lips together and nodded, pulling away from him.

Making your way to the phone behind Mr. Mallard’s desk, you dialled Rose’s house number first to ask if it was okay to have everyone over, before making the subsequent calls to Alex, Luke, and Bobby.

After dealing with the phone you checked the time. Technically you still had an hour of your detention left, but for today Mrs. Hillside just swore you to honesty.

As much as it made you anxious to do so you looked over at Reggie and raised a brow.

“Should we call it? We can walk over to Rose’s place. I told Luke to bring some comfortable clothes for you,”

“Sure,” he nodded and you hesitantly let go of his hand. For some reason it felt like it was too much at once. You just needed a few moments to yourself.

All you ever wanted was for things to go back to the way they were, but now that it seemed to be happening it was a lot to take in and Reggie sensed that so he didn’t push farther, only grabbing his bag and walking quietly by your side as you left the school through a backdoor that was locked from the outside.

The situation for you both might have been one to cause panic or worry, but right now you both relished the fact that your friends were sure to provide a wonderful distraction.

—

“Lady bunny, you’re wearing your pyjamas already?” Luke chuckled from his spot on the couch while you walked out of the washroom, day clothes folded in your arms.

“I intend on relaxing today, kidnapper, thank you very much,” you said in a matter of fact tone.

“You still wearing my shirt to bed, Cookie?” Reggie teased and you stuck your tongue out at him before retorting with,

“Still wearing that Star Wars underwear Flicka?”

“Yikes,” Alex scrunched up his nose and Reggie’s cheeks went a darker shade of red than they usually were.

“They still fit okay, it would be a waste,” Reggie fought back.

“No one wants to hear that,” Bobby grimaced while you and Rose laughed together, relaxing on the futon.

“Why don’t we play a game or something?” Rose suggested. “Just to pass time, I mean this is a sleepover isn’t it?”

“That sounds like a good idea,” you nodded. “Any suggestions?”

“We could play would you rather?” Bobby said, “I mean that’s a favorite right?”

You nodded in agreement. “I haven’t played that game in a while, but I’m down.” Everyone gathered around the coffee table. Prepared to sit next to Reggie, you felt someone’s hand grab yours and tug you down. Looking to your right, you saw Luke smiling giddily at you.

“As your parent,” Luke said in a motherly tone. “I need to sit by your side in case any inappropriate language is used.”

Bobby rolled his eyes. “Fuck off, Luke,” he said.

Luke gasped, covering your ears and pulling you to his chest. “Language!” he hissed. “We have a bunny here and I don’t want you to taint her mind with your demon words. No fucks, no shits, no dicks.” You shot the boy a look before pushing him off you.

“Would someone tell this guy I’m not five?” you rolled your eyes only to have one of your cheeks pinched by Reggie while he snickered and said,

“You sure look like it,” You threw an empty solo cup at him.

“Who wants to go first?” Rose asked with a wide grin.

“Oh me!” Luke exclaimed, raising his hand and waving it around wildly.

“Sometimes I don’t know what you’re on,” Alex sighed and the rest of the group laughed.

“Okay, okay, um, Bobby would you rather smash your guitar or have it run over by a semi?”

“That’s just cruel,” Bobby looked at Luke wide eyed and he just gave him a smirk in return. He sighed heavily before saying, “I’d like to think if I smashed it, it would be from rocking out so hard so I’ll go with that one,”

“Okay now it’s your turn,” you raised your brows at Bobby.

“Alright, (N/N), would you rather be locked in a room with Reggie or Luke?”

You scrunched up your nose. “Both are horrible options,” you began, making the boys yell out in response. “But the real question is: would I rather be babied to oblivion or be murdered?” you thought for a moment.

“I wouldn’t murder you!” Reggie exclaimed. “That’s too easy,” he smirked and you gasped, slapping his arm.

“Hush you!”

“What would you do to torture her then?” Rose asked curiously, knowing exactly what buttons she was pushing.

“Well see if you really want to get someone you make them fall in love with you and then break their heart,” Reggie explained casually.

“Oh that is cold Reggie,” Alex said with wide eyes.

“But I wouldn’t do that to (N/N), I think she deserves a murder,” Reggie shrugged his shoulders, taking a sip from his cup.

“Put me out of my misery,” you nodded. “Alright, I’d go with Reggie,”

Luke pouted, leaning his head on your shoulder. “But we’d have fun, Lady Bunny,” he whined. “Don’t you love me?”

You scoffed, flicking his forehead. “Barely,” you joked. Luke just grabbed you by the arms and brought you up to him, pressing a smacking kiss to her cheek.

“I’m your mom you have to love me,” he poked and you made a face, wiping your cheek after he had kissed you. “Hey! That was a sign of motherly love, how dare you!” You smirked, flipping him off before continuing the game.

After what seemed like hours passed, you and your friends got bored of the game once you started to run out of ideas.

Alex was nearly passed out on the floor, but Bobby nudged him awake. “Can we play a new game now?” Bobby sighed. “I know would you rather was my idea, but I’m kinda tired of it.”

You nodded tiredly, before your mind clicked with an idea,

“Wait how about MASH?” you asked curiously. “Reggie and I used to play it all the time,”

Reggie’s lips quirked up to a smile. “Yeah!” he exclaimed. “I’m still hoping I get that mansion and forty horses.”

“I don’t understand how you play rock music. Were you born in Montana or something?” Rose chuckled.

“Pfft,” Reggie scoffed while you laughed. He sighed and finally conceded with a nod. “Yeah okay, I’m not from here,”

“Wait you’re not!” Luke exclaimed and Reggie shook his head.

“I’m from Wyoming,” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I moved here when I was like...four.”

Bobby’s face turned sour. “Wyoming doesn’t exist,” he said stubbornly.

Alex coughed, “Wait you don’t actually think that do you?”

“It’s a joke Alex, and you ruined it,” Bobby rolled his eyes. “But seriously Reg, Wyoming?” he frowned. “Like what do you even do there?”

“Live on a ranch,” Reggie sighed longingly and you tried to stifle a laugh, prompting him to put you in a headlock and ruffle your hair.

“You’re laughing right now, but no one knows where you’re from,” he smirked.

“Oh Reggie, you’re a dick.”

“Language!” Luke exclaimed, trying to cover your mouth while you protested and Reggie explained that you also were not a California native.

“(N/N)’s not from California either, she moved here when she was five,” Reggie explained.

“From where?!” Alex asked, completely invested.

“I thought we were gonna play MASH?” you tried to interject, but no one was listening to you and Reggie still had you locked under his arm. “Flicka don’t do this!”

“She’s from Canada!” he grinned and you groaned. “And the town she lived in is called Saint-Louis du Ha!-Ha!”

“Reginald!” you protested, finally wrestling yourself out of his grip while he laughed uncontrollably.

“The city has two exclamation marks in its name!”

“Guys,” Luke started seriously and Reggie’s laughter faded to silence as you listened to the band leader. “I-I have a confession to make. I’m also not from here,”

“You’re not?!” Bobby was coming close to losing it, having not known about his friends.

“I’m also from the Great White North,”

“Wait really?” you asked.

“Yeah, I’m from Fredrickton,” Luke grinned.

“No way!” you exclaimed giddily. “So are you Acadian?”

“Proudly so,” he nodded and you gave him a high five.

“Canucks unite!” you laughed, not noticing the pointed glare Reggie was sending Luke.

Bobby pulls his hair in frustration. “Okay, who else isn’t from California here?”

Rose sheepishly raised her hand, much to Bobby’s disbelief. “Puerto Rico?” she answered, more so like a question.

“Dude,” Alex said, shaking his head. “She has a strong Puerto Rican accent.”

Bobby stood up abruptly, storming off. “I’m out of here!”

You stifled back a giggle, calling out, “Bobby! Where are you going?”

“TO THE FUCKING GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE,” he yelled back. “MAYBE I’LL FIND ACTUAL CALIFORNIANS THERE.” You rolled his eyes at his dramatics. You knew he would probably make it out the door before coming back in. The boy was far too lazy to make the drive, anyway.

“I wonder if he realizes that I’m from California, too?” Alex pondered aloud. The entire group burst into laughter.

“Let’s just start the game without Bobby,” Rose suggested. “Who wants to go first?”

“I can go,” Reggie nodded, grabbing a scrap of paper and writing down the things for each category.

“Okay hit me with some career options,”

“Stripper,” you said, slapping his back and he rolled his eyes, but still followed the rules and wrote it down under occupations. “You’d be a terrible stripper though, you can’t dance and you have terrible balance,”

“Okay I’d be an amazing stripper, but that’s besides the point,” Reggie countered and continued writing all the names and places his friends wanted thrown in his options. “Alright numbers now right?” You hummed in response.

“Do five,” you said with a toothy grin. “That was how old we were when we met.”

Reggie nodded, starting to go down each list and circling whatever he landed on. At one point as he counted, his face turned red as he hid the paper from you and everyone else’s view. Once he was done, you tugged on his arm.

“Come on, Flicka,” you teased. “Show us what you got!”

Reggie cleared his throat, “I mean is that really necessary?” he asked cautiously.

“Come on it can’t be that bad,” Alex insisted.

“Um, well it’s not bad perse,”

“How do you know that word?” Luke teased and Reggie rolled his eyes. “Just tell us,”

“Alright well I got a house, a music teacher, two kids, five horses and I’ll live here,” he nodded, trying to avoid a certain topic.

“Who do you marry?” Rose asked curiously.

“No one?” he answered unsurely.

Rose rolled her eyes. “That wasn’t an option,” she reminded him. “Come on, it’s just a game, Reg. Just show it.” When Reggie refused to move, Rose resorted to snatching the paper from his hands.

“Rose!” he cried out, reaching for the paper.

The girl only held the paper far away, squinting her eyes to read the circled mark. “It’s (N/N)!” she squealed. Rose and Alex high fived each other while you dug your into Reggie’s chest, completely flustered. As a response, Reggie wrapped his arm around your waist and rested his head against yours.

“It’s okay (N/N),” he said loud enough for the rest to hear. “We can just murder them,” he smirked and they all burst into a fit of outrage, during which Reggie leaned in closer to you, his lips coming close to your ear while he whispered,

“It’s nice to take a break every once in a while, right?”

You nodded with a smile.

“Yeah, Cookie can let loose,” you joked.

“Of course she can,” he smiled, lifting his head and pressing a kiss to your temple before resting his chin on the top of your head.

“Oh my God did you see that!” Rose pointed to you and Reggie and he stuck his tongue out at her.

“What can’t a guy hug a gal?” he countered and you just placed your hand on Reggie’s mouth before he made it first, prompting him to teasingly bite your finger.

“Flicka!” you complained while Luke immediately came to your rescue.

“Guys! You gotta leave at least a foot for Jesus, come on this is beginner stuff,” he poked. Luke swatted Reggie’s hand away. “Get your hand off my daughter. I’m not ready to be a grandmother just yet, Peters.”

“Luke,” you whined at his extra comment.

“If they think this is bad they should’ve seen the dance Mrs. Leona made us do,” Reggie nudged you and you agreed with a chuckle.

“Since when are you guys in the dance class?” Bobby asked, coming back into the studio with more snacks.

“We’re not, Mrs. Hillside assigned under Mrs. Leona’s care for a day and we helped choreograph a dance for the sophomores next semester,” you explained, totally not realizing the implications of what you had said.

“You know they’re gonna make us dance now right?” Reggie sighed.

“Shit, they are, aren’t they,”

With a loud groan you both stood up and Reggie took your hand.

“From the top Cookie?”

“From the top,” you sighed with a roll of your eyes.

Rose reached for the speakers, connecting her MP3 to them and playing the song.

“Swing those hips, Reginald!” Luke whooped, reaching for the bowl of popcorn in the middle of the coffee table. Reggie mouthed a swear to his friend as his hands found his place on your hips.

“Watch where you’re putting those hands!” Rose warned. Rolling his eyes, Reggie teasing dropped his hands lower, only for you to swat them away.

“I’ll still bite you,” you hissed playfully.

“Promise?” he shot back.

Once the music started to play, you felt Reggie’s hand trail down your arm. Every move was burned to your memory as you danced along with Reggie. The comments of your friends -either cheering or teasing- escaped your mind.

And all that you wanted was for the night to never end.

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violetwolfraven · 4 years

Text

Ray Molina: Best Dad Ever

For the March 11th explosion of content thing. Just Violet being a fantom and doing my part for this!

Tw: mentioned death, mentioned abusive parents, mentioned panic attack.

So the boys can be seen and heard when directly touching Julie after the whole post-Orpheum glowy hug thing but Ray doesn’t know that just yet.

What he does know is that Julie’s mental health took a rapid turn for the better for seemingly no reason and then a couple weeks later he found out she joined a band without telling him.

He’s not stupid. He knows that’s probably because of the band, though he is a bit confused as to how she even met them.

He kinda figures it’s a kids and your internet tricks thing but there’s some flaws to this theory.

1) He asks Flynn what she knows about the boys only... it seems like she doesn’t know much of anything. That’s weird because he knows Julie tells her practically everything.

2) The boys have American accents despite Julie claiming they’re from Sweden.

3) Carlos is a terrible liar and on the rare occasion Julie actually talks about the boys he gets this weirdly conspiratorial look.

So anyway Ray doesn’t really believe it’s as simple as ‘I met these 3 Swedish boys on the internet’ but he trusts his daughter’s judgement and he leaves it alone.

Anyway he has other things to focus on.

Such as how Ray has literally never been able to keep track of his keys/phone/hats/camera parts/stuff and now it seems to just pop up whenever he’s looking for it.

Also he keeps feeling like there’s someone with him around the house more and more.

Like not a malicious presence like Victoria fears, and definitely not like Rose is around watching him, but like someone is there.

Sometimes it feels like there’s more than one presence around. None of them familiar but all of them friendly.

Oddly enough, whatever or whoever it is feels almost like Julie or Carlos. Young and excitable and like a verse of a happy song. He’s not sure why they’re around, but they definitely don’t feel dangerous, so Ray doesn’t feel threatened.

But some days a better comparison might be to Trevor back when Rose first introduced him. Raw and fragile and very, very sad.

Ray tries to put on happy music or a Disney cartoon or something on those days and he doesn’t quite know why or how but the energy usually gets more positive when he does that.

Anyway after a while of this (after the Orpheum performance) he starts noticing weird things that Carlos and Julie do now.

Carlos will just carry around a small whiteboard and a couple pens and he erases it whenever Ray comes into the room but before he does it almost looks like there’s two, three, or even four sets of handwriting on there.

And he walks in on Julie talking to herself like. All the time.

Carlos doesn’t ask for help on his math homework anymore. Julie makes this insanely good chicken recipe for dinner once and then clearly panics and lies when asked where she got it. Flynn makes a set of rainbow friendship bracelets one day while she’s hanging out at the Molina house but he doesn’t see Julie wearing the match to the one she keeps.

Plus Carrie starts hanging out at their house again?? Out of the blue?? And none of the girls have a good explanation for how they made up??

Then later Nick Danforth-Evans (who Julie used to talk about having a crush on but hasn’t in a while) starts hanging around too and the kid seems... well, Ray doesn’t want to throw the word ‘traumatized’ around, but he’s jumpy and guarded in a way that can only be described as a little bit traumatized.

So all 5 kids are clearly keeping some secret and Ray’s getting suspicious and worried.

He sits them down and asks what’s going on. Like is one of them having problems at home, or..?

The kids, simultaneously:

Julie: no, we’re just all in a play together!

Carlos: we’re fine we’re just ghost hunting!

Flynn: we’re exhibiting bisexual-pansexual-lesbian solidarity!

Carrie: Julie and the Phantoms and Dirty Candi are doing a collaboration album!

Nick: we all joined jazz band??

Ray’s calling bullshit at this point.

Then Julie and Nick both look up directly at the same spot, somewhere a couple feet above the arm of the couch, which is seemingly just empty air.

Whatever it is, it doesn’t seem like the other kids can see it but they all seem to be waiting for something and Ray is wondering if they’re sharing a hallucination??? Are they all on drugs??? Should he be worried???

Then Julie says to meet them in the studio in 30 minutes. Flynn, Carrie, and Nick go home to give the Molina family some alone time.

*cue music performance where Ray is introduced to the boys*

So anyway Julie and Carlos (with the help of the ghosts whenever one of them has something to say and grabs Julie’s hand) give him a clearly-sugarcoated version of the last few months.

Ghosts of Trevor’s dead bandmates help Julie reconnect with music, they form a band, they meet another ghost, other ghost accidentally gets them involved with evil magician ghost, Nick got possessed, Carrie figured it out and helped plot to get him un-possessed, evil magician ghost is still out there and they’re sticking together so he can’t get any of them in the future.

Despite how they say it like it’s no big deal, Ray now understands why the kids have been acting so weird because all these things sound scary and painful.

Also the more he thinks about it, the more he worries about the fact that he has three 17-year-old boys sleeping in his garage who died terribly of food poisoning.

They are children and they died incredibly painfully and then almost got enslaved and/or erased from existence.

Then one day Ray’s feeling one of those presences around the house again and he realizes it’s probably one of Julie’s ghost boys.

Ray: who’s there?

Whoever it is freaks out and leaves, and Ray takes notes for next time.

The next time he feels someone in the room, he has a notepad ready and he writes down “Luke, Alex, or Reggie?” from what he remembers from Julie’s introductions.

Immediately, there’s a spike of anxiety in the room.

Ray: it’s okay. You can stay and we don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. I’d like to know who it is I’m not talking to though.

There’s a few seconds of hesitation, and then the pen picks itself up and the name “Reggie” gets circled.

Ray: the bassist with the flannels, right?

Yeah, written in a teenage boy’s messy scrawl.

Ray: okay, do you want to watch a movie?

More hesitation, and Ray’s not sure what that’s about but he’s starting to suspect with the amount of fear still in the room, and there’s a good 20 seconds where Reggie doesn’t respond before I don’t know.

Ray: Moana or Tangled? Moana.

After that, he takes a page out of Carlos’s book and gets a small whiteboard with 3 pens that stick to it magnetically. Red for Reggie, blue for Luke, and pink for Alex.

Reggie has written conversations with him most, but Luke does sometimes too and Alex does least often but he’ll still request a movie occasionally.

All of them are wary around him and Ray doesn’t quite know what to do to earn their trust. But he asks questions about their preferences on things. He says they did good on their latest show. He remembers which movies are their favorites and introduces them to music he thinks are their styles.

Luke is a big fan of Fall Out Boy and Reggie fucking loves Taylor Swift.

Alex is less consistent but occasionally Ray will play a song and he’ll write something like This is a cool song.

He starts to be able to tell which energy is which even before they write who it is right around the time the boys start to be visible for longer and longer after playing.

They play a really good show and stay visible for like 2 full days and that’s the first (but not the last) time Ray really gets to get to know them.

He starts noticing after really good shows like that one how even more now that they can be seen, they’re all a little... off from how Nick and Carrie and Flynn act around him.

With Luke it’s mostly because he’s trying so hard to impress because *gasp* he and Julie are a thing but there’s still a little bit of tension that seems like it comes from something deeper than just being nervous around his girlfriend’s dad.

With Reggie it’s subtle caution. Like he’s happy to be hanging out with Ray but he’s constantly ready for something to go wrong. There’s a catch in his smile, a hesitation before he states an opinion, a practiced carefulness where he changes the subject at any sign of even mild frustration.

But with Alex... it’s mostly just avoidance. Like if he poofs in while visible and it just so happens that no one else is there, he’ll find an excuse to leave.

And Ray lets him, of course. He doesn’t want the kid to feel trapped. But all of the boys’ behavior bothers him.

On the rare occasion they spend more than 2 seconds together Alex is really quiet. He won’t admit if Ray guessed wrong about a song and he doesn’t like it even though his body language makes it clear he’s not vibing with it. Actually, his body language pretty much just spells I am very uncomfortable in every situation where Julie or Carlos went to the bathroom or someone went to grab a snack and they’re alone even for 5 minutes while he’s visible.

Ray’s not stupid. He knows three 17-year-olds don’t end up getting their instruments left to their only living bandmate’s new best friend’s family by having good relationships with their own families.

He doesn’t exactly want to bring it up, but he kind of knows.

Then one day he’s sitting with all 3 boys watching a movie while he fixes something on his camera and Julie and Carlos are at school and he messes up a little part that means he has to start over (don’t @ me I know nothing about cameras) and swears out of frustration louder than he meant to.

He reaches for the screwdriver on the coffee table and

And Reggie and Alex both flinch.

Ray hadn’t even noticed they were tracking his movements, but while Luke seems to just have moved his focus from the TV to his friends in concern, Alex and Reggie both look too tense to play it off.

He figures its as good a time as any to have a chat cause these boys aren’t his sons but they don’t have anyone else acting as a parent figure to them and he feels the need to take care of them. He pauses the movie.

Ray: Can we have a talk? About you boy’s families?

Naturally Luke jumps in to try to distract him immediately, telling a story about his dad taking him fishing once, but he stops when Ray asks him to stop.

Ray: That’s not what I’m talking about and I think you all know it.

The boys are all still silent. Luke looks 500% ready to deflect again. Reggie and Alex look more like they’re expecting to get yelled at or worse.

Ray: I just want to help. I’ll drop it if you want me to but I want you to know that I would never do something to hurt any of you intentionally. You can talk to me about anything if you need to.

He means to make it an option of ‘you can talk but you don’t have to if you don’t want to,’ but the boys clearly don’t take it as such with how Luke starts talking immediately.

Luke: I ran away when I was 17. My mom and dad didn’t want me to stay in Sunset Curve, I think they thought it was going to get me into drugs or something.

They have a short talk about parents having good intentions not equalling them being right to push Luke so hard they pushed him away and it’s okay to feel hurt by that and then press play on the movie again and Ray thinks he sees all 3 boys relax somewhat during that.

A couple weeks later Reggie comes in visible and hesitantly asks about watching this series he saw when Carlos was scrolling through Netflix once.

Mid-episode he blurts out

Reggie: I don’t want to look for my parents and I feel weird about that.

He rambles for a while about knowing he was lucky that his family had money and his mom and dad told him they loved him and stuff but also he remembers so many fights between them where he felt caught in the middle and it never ended well if he chose a side but there was no way to win because they’d both turn on him if he didn’t so it was just this constant balancing act to try to prevent fights in the first place.

Reggie: I felt like I was walking on a tightrope. Like, all the time. I tried so hard to keep them from getting mad at each other or at me. Only it never worked and it was always a question of when they were going to snap next and it was confusing cause one day we’d go to the zoo and everything would be fine and the next they’d yell at me and send me to bed without food.

He feels guilty for not wanting to put in the effort to find them because he’s pretty sure on some level they did love him but he doesn’t want to see them again.

And he doesn’t want to know if they even miss him at all because when he got older and the fighting got too intense he would sneak off to Luke’s or Bobby’s and no matter if he stayed away for an hour or a couple days they never seemed to notice he was gone.

Ray listens and a lot of things about Reggie start to make sense. How he’s so careful not to catch him in a bad mood. How he shuts down whenever anyone raises their voice. How he helps out so much in an effort to stay on Ray’s good side.

It’s a day and a half after the latest show so they can’t really hug but Ray does what he can to provide comfort and validate his feelings anyway because damn Reggie is a good kid and he didn’t deserve that.

Reggie and Luke get more comfortable with coming to him for meaningful chats, or even just to vent about whatever’s going on lately.

Eventually they seem to feel almost as comfortable with him as Julie and Carlos do so it kinda becomes a routine.

Like Julie will ask for cuddles when she’s sad about missing Rose or she’ll walk in and vent about Carrie and Flynn being so obvious about liking each other but somehow not realizing it’s mutual and she and Nick are 3rd wheeling and going insane.

Carlos will excitedly ramble about his latest baseball practice shenanigans for an hour but also sometimes ask for someone to watch old home movies or listen to old CDs from Rose and the Petal Pushers with him.

And that’s normal. That’s been Ray’s life since his kids started talking. But the thing is that it’s just as normal when

When Luke tells how he’s still angry about his music getting stolen because it feels like a part of him was taken away and he worked hard on those songs. Also one day he very shyly admits

Luke: I like Julie a lot.

Ray: I know, kiddo.

Luke: You’re not mad?

Ray: As long as you two make each other happy, no. I’m happy for you.

And it’s just as normal when Reggie talks about missing his little cousin Kelsi and wondering where she ended up only for them to look her up and find out she’s a major Broadway writer/director now oh my god— and also

Reggie: I think I like boys. Like boys are cute. But I know I’m not gay because girls are cute too and ugh it’s confusing it’s probably nothing I guess everybody goes through this.

Ray: Have you ever thought you might be bisexual?

Reggie: Bi-what-now?

Ray, already digging out his old flannels that he would have passed down to Julie except they’re too big for her: It’s okay to like both, kiddo.

All this is great of course. It’s great how Reggie and Luke aren’t afraid anymore and they feel validated and seen and listened to.

But months have passed and Ray notices how Alex remains separate. He still avoids Ray when he can and stays quiet and cautious when he can’t.

Like Ray still senses Alex around him sometimes but never right after a show when he’s visible. He doesn’t come to him with problems. He’ll stay and listen when Ray plays a song he thinks he’d like, but he still seems so cautious and Ray doesn’t know how to help.

He asks Luke one day while he’s introducing him to a Wicked bootleg if he’s done something specific to scare Alex away.

Luke gets this really dark look on his face and he just

Luke: Let’s just say that my parents didn’t do everything perfectly, but they’re saints compared to Alex’s.

Ray decides to drop it, but Luke wants to reassure him.

Luke: You haven’t done anything wrong. He’s just not very comfortable around most adults in general. It’s one thing when we’re invisible, but...

Ray: I just wish I could help.

Luke: You do help. But it took a while for Alex to trust me.

The conversation ends there because Luke starts getting really into Defying Gravity.

But then that night Julie comes in with a kind of out of character movie request so Ray thinks Luke talked to her.

Because Julie does not like most romcoms that aren’t musicals. She gets bored. But she requests Love, Simon anyway.

Ray kind of sees what she’s trying to do there because now that he’s thinking about it the boys haven’t really seen many things with queer rep. Especially not queer main characters.

And nobody’s really told him that Alex is gay but cmon he’s an elder bi. He has accurate gaydar so he can support his queer ducklings.

Despite how the boys all know being gay is more socially acceptable now (they found out about Nick’s dads and the girls gave them the ‘gay marriage is legal now’ talk) they still seem kind of baffled by how there’s an entire romcom centered around a gay boy and it did well.

From there Ray tries to find more movies and tv shows with canon queer representation.

And he keeps giving Alex space but also trying his best to show him that he’s not like his parents.

For a long time nothing changes beyond Luke and Reggie getting increasingly comfortable with him.

Well that’s not completely true actually cause Reggie starts tagging along to photo shoots and becomes Ray’s unofficial mostly invisible assistant.

Then the band plays an amazing show and the boys stay visible for a full week.

Around the middle of that week, Ray goes out to the garage to find Reggie and see if he wants to come on a photo shoot.

Reggie isn’t out there but Alex is.

And he’s crying. Hard.

He looks like he’s going to poof out when he sees Ray there but Ray’s already 100% ready to do exactly what he always does when he walks in on Julie or Carlos crying.

Ray: Alex. Hey, buddy, it’s okay. I’m here. It’s going to be okay.

Alex freezes and it breaks Ray’s heart how that kind of concern is clearly not what he’s expecting.

Ray: Are you okay with being touched?

Alex looks kind of like he’s in shock but he nods.

He clearly doesn’t really know what to do with it but he kind of melts into it when Ray hugs him and he just sobs on his shoulder.

When he’s stopped crying enough he starts rambling about how he’s been looking everywhere but he can’t find Willie.

At that point he’s basically having a panic attack so finding out what’s wrong takes a backseat compared to calming him down and Ray knows how to do that because he and Rose used to do that for Trevor all the time.

Ray: Alex, breathe. In for 4 counts, hold for 7, out for 8. Breathe with me.

It takes a couple minutes until Alex has calmed down enough, but once he does, Ray asks what’s wrong and what’s happening with Willie.

He only vaguely knows who Willie is from what he’s been told by the other kids but he knows he’s important to Alex.

So Alex takes a deep breath and explains that Caleb confronted him and basically said the boys had to join his house band or he would make sure he’d never see Willie again. And he doesn’t want to ask his family to sacrifice themselves for him but he doesn’t want to lose the boy he loves either.

Ray wants to throw hands but from what the kids have told him about Caleb, he has a better idea.

Ray: Here’s what we’re gonna do, buddy. Reggie said Caleb has this super catchy number, The Other Side of Hollywood?

Alex: Yeah?

Ray: How quickly do you think Luke and Julie could come up with an arrangement for you four to cover that and how desperate do you think Covington would be to make sure a video of that never gets published without crediting him?

Alex: :o

Spoiler alert: Julie and Luke, in collaboration with Carrie, can come up with an arrangement very quickly.

They do a private performance of it and film it and basically blackmail Caleb into letting Willie go.

Willie has an empty house that used to be his parents’ that he still considers his so he mostly crashes there if he needs to. Also he loves skating around so much that he never stays in one place for very long.

Julie can see him but she can’t make him visible so it’s a little odd but Ray gets an orange pen for him for the whiteboard and he finds skateboarding videos and stuff for when he visits.

They eventually figure out that he can be part of the magic by adding him to the band so they give him a tambourine and yay now Willie can be seen but that’s later.

The biggest immediate change to come out of all this is Alex.

He’s not afraid of Ray anymore for the most part (healing isn’t linear and he can’t help a few bad days) and he starts actually talking to him. Not about serious stuff but he’s talking. Mostly just rambling about how Willie makes him feel or how Luke and Reggie have been being annoying lately.

Then one day he comes in really nervous and says something about Reggie saying he talked to Ray about his parents.

And Ray confirms it and asks if there’s anything Alex needs to tell him.

Alex sits down and clearly he’s been holding this in for a long time and he just unloads how he came out to his parents because his youngest sister found his diary and he was scared she’d tell them. They didn’t react well and when he cried out of fear and frustration his father... gave him something to cry about.

His father did that a few more times, trying to ‘make him man up,’ and Alex never told his bandmates but he always knew they could see the bruises and that was why Bobby made it so clear his garage was open and his house was a safe place to run.

But Alex didn’t no matter how bad things got because he guessed some small part of him thought he deserved it but mostly it was about how his oldest sister dropped out of college and ghosted the family and Alex was the next-oldest so he felt responsible for protecting his younger sisters even if they both had learned behaviors from their parents and hated him.

Then that summer he found out his parents were planning on sending him away to some Christian camp where they’d ‘fix’ him.

Alex made it clear that he wouldn’t go and if they tried to make him he’d run away, but their ultimatum was that he couldn’t live under their roof if he was gay.

So he didn’t. And it was a situation somewhere between getting kicked out and running away, but he packed a bag and never went back.

He ran to Bobby’s house, he wrote a whole bunch of angry songs, and he tried not to think too much about how he understood why his older sister left and how he was doing the exact same thing to his younger sisters.

By the time he’s done explaining everything Ray’s trying not to cry but Alex is definitely already crying mostly out of anger.

Alex: I hated them all. I hated Molly for leaving me and I hated my mom for turning my little sisters against me and I hated my dad for hurting me and I even hated Anna and Josie for not standing by me and I just hated them all so much. I still do. And it is so stupid that I feel guilty for that because they were terrible to me and I was 16 and I didn’t deserve that but I do feel guilty for it because they’re my family and I hate them.

Ray doesn’t have much to say because damn this is heavy stuff but he assures him that after what he went through he has a right to hate his blood family.

Alex tells him awkwardly when he’s calmed down a bit that Luke is the only other person he’s ever told about all this, because after he ran away they dated for a few months before figuring out that they were better as friends.

Reggie and Bobby guessed parts of it and Julie probably has too but none of them have asked and Alex thinks he might tell Reggie and Julie someday if it ever comes up but he never did end up telling Bobby.

Ray assures him that he won’t tell anyone and also that he would never do that. He would never do anything to hurt Alex or the others on purpose.

He makes a silent promise that no one will ever hurt one of his kids like that again and if Caleb or anyone else ever tries, they will regret it.

But anyway on to happier matters.

Willie visits a lot and he’s a little skittish around Ray but he loosens up after he jokingly mentions one time that Willie and Alex are like the beginning of the Sk8ter Boy song.

Alex and Ray might be Denim Jacket Buddies but once Ray digs his old leather jacket out of the closet he becomes Leather Jacket Buddies with Reggie.

You’d think he has to tell Carlos and Reggie off the most for breaking things but he doesn’t. It’s Carlos and Luke.

Also Ray doesn’t consider himself an overprotective dad but Julie and Luke are not allowed to be alone in a room with the door closed.

Neither are Alex and Willie technically but it’s harder to enforce it when they’re both ghosts.

Lmao all the kids follow the rules anyway because they love Ray and he’s not being unreasonable.

He helps Julie in her plot to get Carrie and Flynn together and also he helps Nick plan how to make a move on that cute boy on his lacrosse team.

Because Nick loves his dads but they’re disaster gays. Neither of those men can properly flirt. They fell in love because of a baseball rivalry and Nick doesn’t trust their advice.

Pride month rolls around and Julie makes sure to book a big gig the day before the parade so the boys will be visible and tangible.

Trevor’s on tour and can’t get away and Flynn’s parents are working and Nick’s are busy too so Ray finds himself escorting this whole little gaggle of various queer ducklings to pride.

Carlos isn’t quite sure what he is yet so he’s just got a rainbow flag painted on his cheek and a shirt that says I love my bi sister on it.

Julie’s all decked out in the bi colors, complete with ribbons braided into her hair and a flag to use as a cape. She made the tutu herself and it took her hours but it turned out really good.

Luke’s got a tank top with the pan colors and a trans flag as a cape and also yknow face paint of course.

Reggie browsed thrift shops everywhere until he found a flannel in the bi colors and he’s got that along with pink purple and blue laces in his combat boots and what Ray is really hoping is temporary dye and not spray paint in his hair.

Alex has a rainbow shirt that matches Willie’s and matching bracelets with Flynn. Also he painted rainbow hearts on his cheeks and put a lot of effort into them and they look really symmetrical.

Willie’s of course matching shirts with Alex and also he has sparkly rainbow socks and a flag to use as a cape.

Carrie’s got a whole ensemble in the lesbian colors complete with a pride wig and also matching necklaces with Flynn.

Flynn’s matching colors with Carrie but more in her style with of course matching jewelry with the people closest to her. She’s got friendship bracelets corresponding to Alex and Julie.

Nick’s got a pan tshirt and a fedora with a ribbon in pink yellow and blue plus face paint cause all of them have face paint. Nothing too crazy.

Meanwhile Ray’s got a bi bandanna and one of those shirts that’s like Free Dad Hugs.

Plus everyone did each other’s nails with varying degrees of success the night before and Julie did Ray’s so they turned out good.

Nick’s lacrosse buddies and the rest of Dirty Candi are around somewhere but they didn’t ride in the same car so they’re not that relevant.

They party. Celebrate being alive. Idk I’ve never gotten to go to pride.

And afterwards they all go back to the Molina house and the couch isn’t really big enough for all of them but it’s okay it’s not like they know how to sit correctly anyway.

They all kind of pile together and cuddle and watch movies until Flynn and Nick’s parents can come pick them up.

And Ray just looks around and realizes that

Sure only 2 of them are his biologically

And 3 of the others have good parent(s) who are actively a part of their lives

The remaining 4 are technically dead

But he has 9 children and he’s totally fine with that.

Cause he’s Ray Molina: best dad ever.

Victoria’s head is going to explode when she finds out that not only is the Molina house really haunted, but he’s adopted the ghosts.

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phantom-curve · 4 years

Text

someday this will have a real title pt. 3

wow this one got away from me a lil bit. did I use it as an excuse to listen to Wake Up on repeat for an hour? yes. did I cry while writing it? yes. do with that information what you will.

I really like how this is turning out. honestly, thinking of writing a companion piece from Luke’s POV once I finish Julie’s. also, I realized while writing this that Luke basically ‘poofs’ into Julie’s space every time he interacts with her even though he’s not a ghost and I love that consistency.

still have no idea how long this will be, so thanks for just going on this adventure with me!

tag list: @blue-hat-girl, @lwhoscribbles (thank you! honestly, they’ve got such strong voices writing these characters is a delight. also, titles are hard), @bluefyoto94 (thank you!), @5sosmukefan, @moonlightxnder, @leahthewonder lemme know if you want to be added!

The second the entrance of Los Feliz High School was in her sight, Julie was unbuckling her seatbelt, bolting out of the car in a mad dash to escape into the academic institution. Luke didn’t even have time to fully park the car before she had slipped out of it, her curly head disappearing into the mass of students surging through the front doors as the first bell began to ring. Social etiquette dictated that she wait around long enough to at least thank Luke for the ride, but honestly, social etiquette could suck a fat one. She had been dealing with fake social graces for the last year and frankly, she was sick of all of the bullshit. She didn’t feel particularly inclined to extend said graces to overconfident band boys intent on disrupting her carefully constructed routine.

For the last year Luke had been content to ignore her presence in the few classes they shared, perfectly happy basking in the glory of being an upperclassman with unprecedented musical talent. Luke knew exactly where he was going and how he was going to get there. He didn’t stop to wait for the school to hook him up with gigs, he went out and made the shows happen for his band himself. Julie had always admired his confidence, wished she could be more like him.

She hadn’t always loved the cockier side to his attitude though. He had a tendency to act like god’s gift to music and it drove her insane considering there were kids at this school that worked just as hard as him but wouldn’t ever make it quite as far. Not everyone could be born with that kind of talent, but that didn’t mean he had to rub other people’s faces in it! She should know, hadn’t she always been complimented on her musical ability before anything else? And now that she didn’t have that same gift to offer up to the masses, wasn’t she just another forgotten face in the crowd?

Head low, shoulders hunched against the onslaught of emotion, Julie pushed her way through the morning crowd of students. She didn’t look up until she knew her locker would be in front of her, and even then she only lifted her head long enough to bury it inside of the metal box, pretending she was searching for the schoolbooks already in her backpack.

“Hey, under achiever.”

The familiar voice was warm, the nickname affectionate instead of insulting. It pulled a reluctant smile from Julie as she turned to meet her best friend’s gentle gaze.

“Hey, disappointment.”

Flynn gave her a little hip bump and a sad smile. Oh. So, word had already spread around the school.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Julie hefted her backpack higher on her shoulder, one hand reaching to pull her hat low. Too late she recognized how her own actions almost mirrored Luke’s earlier. Flynn, best friend that she was, linked her arm through Julie’s and began to lead them down the hallway towards homeroom.

“Okay.”

Julie breathed a sigh of relief. Her best friend could be like a dog with a bone sometimes, unable to let any perceived injustice go without a fight. She was thankful she had avoided whatever rant Flynn had at the ready for the time being.

“But we’re gonna have to talk about it eventually, Jules. You can’t just let them kick you out! You’re Julie Molina! Voice of an angel! Queen of-!”

Or maybe not. Flynn’s declarations cut off immediately at the cold look Julie sent her way.

“Right, don’t wanna talk about it.”

Julie nodded fiercely, unmoved by Flynn’s disappointed sigh as she pulled out of her grasp and slipped into her desk. Flynn hadn’t lost her mom and her ability to play music all at once. Flynn didn’t have the entire school breathing down her neck. Flynn’s life wasn’t falling apart in front of her eyes. Flynn didn’t get to judge. Head down, Julie fought back the feelings of shame and guilt, focusing on her anger instead.

She made it through most of the day like that, relying solely on the fuel her fury provided to get her through her classes. Until her last two classes of the day. Composition and Solo Vocal Studies. Except, she wasn’t in those classes anymore. She had been dropped from them like the useless failure that she was. Her dad still didn’t know, so there hadn’t been a meeting with the school to change her schedule. But she couldn’t just go to a class she had been asked to leave. The final bell rang, and Julie was left by herself in the empty hallways. She glanced at the closed classroom doors around her, feeling small and lost. Suddenly, the red-hot rage that had sustained her all day was doused by an overwhelming wave of sadness. She was alone.

Unable to stomach the thought of losing it in the middle of the school, Julie sprinted for the nearest exit. Her surroundings were a blur until she practically slammed into the metal doors, crashing her way outside. She took a few steps before doubling over on her knees, gasping for breath. She squeezed her eyes shut, focused on nothing more than the air going in and out of her lungs. It was breezy, the warm wind blowing her hair around, the wayward curls tickling her face. The sensation helped to ground her, and she finally opened her eyes, the panic receding as she stood. The door creaked open behind her. Julie stiffened at the noise. The hair on the back of her neck felt electrified, and she didn’t have to hear him speak to know who it was. A throat cleared.

“You, um...you dropped this.”

She heard fabric rustling, the soft swoosh of what must be his arm lifting. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment, the frustration she’d been thriving on all day creeping in at the edges. She clung to it like a lifeline as she turned to meet his puppy dog eyes.

“What, are you stalking me or something?!”

Her voice was hoarse, not as strong or snappy as she had intended. She balled her hands into tight fists at her sides, ready to verbally attack as she leaned forward waiting for him to respond. He didn’t say anything, eyes soft as he looked down to where his hand was outstretched holding...her hat. Her hands flew to her head, landing on hair instead of the trusty ballcap she had kept perched there for the last year. So that’s how her curls had gotten loose earlier. Heat rose again, burning its way up from her chest to her cheeks to the tips of her ears. She snatched it out of his hands, shoving it back on her head with more force than necessary.

“Thanks.”

“Sure thing. You, uh, bolted outta there pretty quick. Everything okay?”

She watched him bob slightly, like he couldn’t stop moving for even a second. His voice was melodic, somehow everything he said sounding like he was on the verge of bursting into song. In another life, she probably would have been charmed by him. Not in this life though.

“Fine. Looks like I’m done with school for the day I guess.”

She practically sneered at him. Something about his gentle prodding scratched at her. Everyone knew she was a disaster. Everyone knew she was out of the music program, a washed up has been before she had been able to even make it in the first place. He didn’t need to use the kid gloves with her.

“Oh yeah, I forgot you usually have...”

He trailed off, eyes downcast, hand reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. She glared, not even noticing that he somehow knew her schedule.

“Yeah. Usually. Not anymore. So.”

He rocked back on his heels, hands shoved in his jean pockets, arms flexing in an unfairly aggressive display of hotness. His eyes were still looking at her with that same gentle expression. Like he cared. Her fingertips itched and she realized with a start that she desperately wanted to grab her keyboard and pound out an angry ballad about this...this too nice fuckboy with a pretty face and she could see the notes forming now and she could practically feel the smooth chill of the keys under her fingers and...she staggered backwards.

What the hell was that?! Her heart raced, adrenaline spiking. Oh no. No no no. She couldn’t want to play for this dumb boy. She hadn’t been able to play for her dad or her brother. She hadn’t been able to play for Flynn, hadn’t been able to play for her mother. She couldn’t even play for herself! What kind of special magic did Luke freakingPatterson possess that made her want to play again? It wasn’t fair.

“I gotta go.”

She swerved around him, reaching for the school doors. They held fast, locked from the inside. Her shoulders slumped. Just her luck.

“Hey, Julie?”

She didn’t answer, but it didn’t stop him.

“I’m really sorry about your mom. She was an incredible songwriter. You are too.”

The last part was said quietly but Julie heard it anyway. She couldn’t help but scoff as she turned to face him again. He stood perfectly still this time.

“How would you know that?”

His eyes, still so soft, crinkled a bit at the edges. Not a full smile, but she could tell he wanted to. Without breaking their stare down, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a worn, folded square of paper. Her gaze dipped, eyes widening. Her breath caught in her throat. It couldn’t be. He held it out to her.

“I found it last year. In the practice room. I know I should have given it to you earlier, but there was never a right time. I’m sorry.”

Julie’s vision swam. Tears spilled down her cheeks as she reached out to take the paper he offered.

“I thought...I tried to...”

“I know.”

His voice was the sweetest croon as his fingers closed around hers, tucking the sheet music safely into her palm.

“I went back the next day, but...it was gone.”

“I’m so sorry. God, I should have had Alex give it to Flynn or something.”

“No.” She locked her eyes on his once more. “It wasn’t the right time.”

He gave her a small smile, bouncing just a bit on the balls of his feet again. And then, as if understanding that she needed this moment to herself, he gave her a small nod and disappeared around the side of the building. Julie closed her eyes for a moment, clutching the papers to her chest.

Last year, in a fit of heartbroken rage and unable to express herself through music like she had for her entire life, Julie had locked herself in the practice room after school and thrown an all-out tantrum. She had screamed herself sick, cried until she couldn’t breathe, and in a final fit of uncontrollable emotion, trashed the last song that she had written with her mother, finished just days before she took her last breath. It had been satisfying in the moment. A vow to give up the part of herself that was made up of her mother, cut the pain off at the source so to speak. She had regretted it the instant she woke up the next morning, but it was too late. By the time she got to school, the first student on campus even, the practice room had already been cleaned. The hollowed out, empty feeling of loss that had followed had been gut wrenching. The realization that she had thrown the last connection to her mother in the trash left a gaping hole in her heart. It had been a fitting punishment that Julie had never even gotten to play the final product. A fitting punishment that she would never play anything again.

Luke had just changed all of that. He had given her that piece of her heart back. Fingers trembling, she unfolded the pages. She traced the looping letters of her mother’s familiar handwriting, following the notes up and down the bars, the melody playing in her head as she read. At the very end, a final message she had missed before:

Julie, you can do it.

Love, Mom

It felt like coming home. Pages clutched to her heart once more, Julie leaned against the building, lifted her face to the sky, and wept.

#you guys this was supposed to be a fun lil writing exercise and now it's a full on fanfic #that's honestly v on brand for me #also this was supposed to be fluffy! blame julie for the angst!!#julie and the phantoms #jatp #juke #jukebox #julie x luke #luke x julie #julie molina #luke patterson #palina #Mads speaks #Mads writes #jatp ficlet #jatp fanfic #jule ficlet #juke fanfic #find the strength find the melody

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catsnkooks · 4 years

Text

Beach Craze

Hardcase x reader x Jesse

summary: The Clone Wars had finally ended. The Republic had won. The whole galaxy was filled with the same exhilaration of victory, and everyone seemed to be celebrating. To celebrate, you were on a girl’s getaway with your two best friends. The three of you had planned it many years ago, as your office job on Coruscant could get boring at times, but travel was dangerous during the war. But now that it was over, you could enjoy the sultry beaches and open bar that the hotel you were staying at on Scarif boasted.

rating: PG-13

warnings: some mentions of Sexy Times but thats abt it, mostly fluff

word count: 4,187

a/n: this was meant to be out a month ago but here it is!! canon never happened, nope, everyone lived (except sheev). inspired by @notreallybeccab and @suddenly-clones beach fics and @suja-janee beach times art :’)

here it is on ao3!

The warm winds that made Scarif famous blew through your hair as you sat on your colorful beach towel, the soft sound of the waves of the calm water echoing beside you. You buried your feet in the soft, warm sand. You laughed along with your beautiful Twi’lek friend, Torva’ris, as your other friend, Narei, told you the story of her latest romantic escapade.

“So as I'm talking to her,” Narei continued, flipping one of her twin braids across her shoulder, “some guy comes up to us and says, ‘No need to fight ladies, I can share.’ And she says, ‘I'm a lesbian, jackass.’”

The three of you burst into laughter again. You lifted your head, your mouth and heart singing with the exhilaration of being happy and free and at peace.

The Clone Wars had finally ended. The Republic had won. The whole galaxy was filled with the same exhilaration of victory, and everyone seemed to be celebrating. To celebrate, you were on a girl’s getaway with your two best friends. The three of you had planned it many years ago, as your office job on Coruscant could get boring at times, but travel was dangerous during the war. But now that it was over, you could enjoy the sultry beaches and open bar that the hotel you were staying at on Scarif boasted.

Torva rolled her eyes beside you, wearing a white two-piece that accentuated the deep blue hue of her skin. “Ugh, men.”

Narei snorted on your other side, sheltered underneath her large umbrella, and you knew she was rolling her eyes under her dark sunglasses. She had already applied sunscreen to her pale skin liberally, but she said she wasn’t taking any chances. Her natural green, high-waisted bikini showed off her petite frame. “Tell me about it. I don’t know why I'm still attracted to them.”

You laughed at Narei’s frustrated comment. You leaned back on your own beach towel, admiring the way it complemented the color of your swimsuit—your favorite color. Your eyes traveled up the stretch of the beach to where another large group of people rested. You noticed a group of six men looking in your direction, nudging and laughing at each other.

“Don’t look now,” you began, nodding your head in the direction of the men, “but I think we might have attracted some more of them.”

Torva and Narei turned to look in the direction you indicated. Narei peered over the rims of her sunglasses. “Hm, looks like clones.”

“Oh?” Torva asked, raising her eyebrows appreciatively.

Narei studied them closer. “Looks like the 501st, 212th, and 104th from their colors.” You then remembered Narei worked as a secretary in one of the GAR offices. “I had a night with a guy from the 327th once. I hope he’s not here.” She paused. “Actually, I do, because General Secura is kinda hot.”

“Well, I guess we’ll find out,” you said, settling back on your elbows as you also studied the men coming towards you.

They were made for fighting, that much you could tell. Toned, defined muscles lined their torsos and arms. Bronzed skin tanned even deeper by a short time in the sun. Your eyes traced the V of their stomachs as it disappeared below the band of their swim trunks, colored to what you presume were their battalion colors: blue, gray, and yellow. They all had different hairstyles and facial markings, which, you supposed, was the only way you could tell them apart.

“Why didn’t you hook me up with one of them sooner?” you muttered to Narei, still letting your eyes wander appreciatively over the six men who were almost at your spot.

“You never asked,” Narei huffed.

“You ladies mind if we join you?” said the one with the Republic symbol over his face.

You shook your head and patted the sand beside you. “No, we don’t mind.”

They all seemed to grin at your words and sat down beside the each of you, introducing themselves. Beside Narei sat Boost and Sinker from the 104th, beside you, Jesse and Hardcase from the 501st, and finally, Boil and Waxer from the 212th beside Torva.

“Did you see Tup brought a metal detector with him?” Hardcase said to you left, grinning at Jesse who sat to your right. You also noticed the way his eyes subtly roamed over your figure before coming up to wink at his brother.

Jesse rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I did. I'm surprised Dogma didn’t chew him out for bringing it.” He picked up your hand and rubbed small circles into your palm with his thumb, looking into your eyes and smirking. “He’s a big stickler on illegal contraband and everything.”

“I agree with Tup,” said Boost. Sinker was too busy checking Narei out to contribute to the conversation, his fingers dancing over her thigh. “You can find some interesting things with a metal detector.”

“Well, the only thing I'm interested in is getting some sun,” Torva said, flipping one of her lekku over her shoulder. Waxer reached up to smooth it along her back.

You nodded emphatically and groaned. “Ugh, yes. I missed it after being in an office for so long.” You lifted your arms, not missing the way Jesse and Hardcase’s eyes followed them. You let them fall back down with a sigh, laying one back in Jesse’s grasp. “It’s been way too long.”

Narei snorted. “Speak for yourself.”

Sinker finally looked up from where his eyes were trained on her thigh. “You allergic to the sun or somethin’?”

“You could say that,” she replied, gesturing to all of her protective measures. “I don’t tan, I burn.”

Boil let out a bark of laughter and grinned at Waxer. “Do you remember when we were on Ryloth and General Kenobi got that awful sunburn?”

Waxer laughed. “Yeah, I remember how Cody gave him so much shit for that.”

Torva perked up at the mention of her home world. “You’ve been to Ryloth?”

“Oh, I’ve been all over the galaxy, baby,” Waxer murmured, brushing a finger over her jaw.

Boil puffed out his chest. “Yeah, we were there for the Battle of Ryloth. Took out a whole battalion of droids there.”

Hardcase scoffed. “Those are rookie numbers.” He positioned his arm behind you and leaned in so his breath tickled your shoulder. “I couldn’t tell you how many of those clankers I’ve blown up.”

You giggled at his claim and the way his breath on your shoulder combined with Jesse’s incessant touch sent a rush of giddiness through you, leaving you feeling breathless. “Oh, really?”

“Oh, yeah?” Sinker snorted. “I bet I took out three battalions of clankers on Cato Neimoidia and that damn Viceroy’s personal ship.”

Narei ran her fingers through Sinker’s stark white hair, who leaned into her touch. “Oh, that sounds scary.”

“Nah, me and Sinker are the best shots in the 104th,” Boost said, sitting up straighter and grinning at her.

“You know you shouldn’t tell lies, Boost.”

Your group turned to look at the two men who had walked up to your spot. Narei detangled her fingers from Sinker’s hair and waved at them.

“Hi Master Kenobi, Master Plo,” she said. “Enjoying your visit?”

The two Jedi masters nodded.

“Yes, it has been quite relaxing,” said Master Kenobi.

“Though I think some of us might be enjoying it too much,” said Master Plo, who had spoken earlier. “Eh, Boost?”

Boost rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks tinged a little pink. “I wasn’t lyin’, sir, just…ah….”

“Embellishing?” teased Jesse. Boost glared at him as you and Torva stifled your giggles.

The two generals chuckled at their trooper’s antics.

“Anyway,” Master Kenobi continued, turning to Narei, “the reason why we are here is because Padmé wanted to know if you wanted to meet the twins. She brought them down where we are stationed.” He motioned farther down the beach where you could see more people sitting.

“Oh!” Narei gasped, standing and disentangling herself from Boost and Sinker’s grasp. “Oh my goodness, yes! I would love to see them!” She pulled on your and Torva’s arms, pulling the both of you up. “You have to come see them! They're so cute!”

You didn’t notice the audible protests from your group of admirers as the three of you rushed off to see the babies. Boost and Sinker pouted, putting their heads on their hands, while Boil, Waxer, and Hardcase glared at their generals for interrupting their flirting. Jesse huffed and kicked at the sand.

“Beat by a kid that can't even walk yet,” he muttered, crossing his arms.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Obi-Wan teased, patting Jesse’s shoulder. “You’ll all have your chance soon enough.”

---

The babbling of the two infants mixed with the sound of the wind and the waves. You held a giggling Leia on your hip with Torva beside you making faces at her. Narei was cooing at Luke who was in Padmé’s arms.

“I'm sorry I couldn’t come see them sooner,” Narei said to the former senator. “You know how it gets at work sometimes, especially now that we’re at the end of everything.”

Padmé laughed. “Oh, yes I understand. Sometimes I do miss being in the Senate, but it is nice to come home and relax.”

“I bet these two are a handful,” Torva said, taking Leia from you and bouncing her on her hip.

“Oh, Anakin is worse than the both of them,” Padmé sighed, rolling her eyes. She looked over her shoulder where her husband was playing in the water with two others. “I suppose it’s a good thing he cares so much, but I didn’t think he was going to leave their sides.”

The three of you laughed at the image of the tall Jedi master worrying over the more than capable senator.

“Well, I’d say he’s got his work cut out for him,” you laughed, squeezing Leia’s plump baby cheeks.

---

You, Torva, and Narei finally said your goodbyes to Padmé, promising to come visit again some time. Your group of admirers met you halfway to your spot, and asked if you three wanted to play in the water, now that the sun was at its hottest and highest peak. You and Torva agreed while Narei declined, opting to sit and relax in the shallows. Hardcase waved over the togruta that was with Anakin earlier, Ahsoka, so you all could have a three-way chicken fight.

“You guys are gonna get destroyed!” Ahsoka threatened from Hardcase’s shoulders, the both of them grinning.

“I don’t think so!” you threatened back from atop Jesse’s shoulders. You felt the rush of giddiness again as Jesse’s warm hands encircled your thighs and you grasped at his broad shoulders.

Torva laughed from Boil’s shoulders, flipping her lekku behind her back. Waxer remained off to the side as the referee.

“Ready?” he asked. All of you nodded. “Alright. On your marks, get set, go!”

Jesse charged directly at Boil and Torva. You and Torva locked hands, squealing and laughing while trying to push each other off-balance. You pushed her back a little hard, causing her to sway off balance and Boil to take a few steps back, but then they came right back for you. This time, instead of grasping hands, you went right for the roots of her lekku, where you knew she was ticklish.

Torva squealed. “No fair!” Caught off guard, you pushed her again, this time causing her to fall down into the water, pulling a startled Boil with her.

Too caught up in your victory, you didn’t notice Ahsoka and Hardcase sneaking up behind you until you felt her hands on your back.

“Whoa! Sneak attack!” Jesse exclaimed, turning you around to grapple with Ahsoka.

You locked hands with her and tried to match her, but with her Jedi training, she was too strong for her. Soon you found yourself falling backwards, yelling, holding onto Jesse’s shoulders, and dragging him down in the water with you.

The salty water rushed around your ears as you bobbed up to the surface, gasping and laughing. Jesse surfaced beside you, and you swam over to him, wrapping your arms around his neck to keep you floating.

“Looks like they were right, huh?” Jesse chuckled, nodding to Hardcase and Ahsoka who were celebrating their victory by hooting and splashing in the water.

You sighed, setting your chin on his shoulder. “Yeah, we never stood a chance against a Jedi.” You looked in the opposite direction to find where Torva, Boil, and Waxer went.

“Well, there is something that I know that a Jedi couldn’t do,” Jesse murmured.

You turned back around to find that Jesse had turned himself to face you in the water, one arm supporting you by your waist. He raised his eyes from where he was looking at the way the cold water lapped at the tops of your breast and gave you a crooked grin. You raised an eyebrow, your lips curling up in a sultry smile, and caressed his cheek.

“Oh, really?” you asked. “You’ll have to catch me first!” You pushed off from his leg with a laugh and swam away, headed for Torva, who had acquired a donut floaty. You could hear Jesse splashing behind you to catch up.

You swam up to Torva’s floaty, wrapping your arms around it opposite of her. When you settled, she motioned behind you with a nod of her head. You looked behind you where Narei was sitting in the shallows with Boost and Sinker. One of her hands played with Sinker’s hair, who was asleep in her lap, while the other stood at a right angle on her knee, supporting her chin. She was listening to Boost talk, who had placed an arm behind her, leaning in close to her, a flirtatious smile on her face.

You sighed. “She’s really good at that.”

“Yeah,” Torva sighed also. Then she grinned at you. “At least there’s lots of them to go around, huh? We might still have a chance.”

You rolled your eyes at her, but you had to admit she was right. “At least we got separate rooms at the hotel.” And you hoped Jesse and Hardcase would see yours tonight.

---

You and Torva swam with the boys from the 501st and 212th and Ahsoka for a while after that. Jesse and Hardcase had a contest to see who could hold their breath the longest. (Hardcase won, but only after you pulled him up a minute after Jesse resurfaced). Then they tried for a splashing contest against you girls, until Ahsoka almost washed them away with a wave she created with the Force. (Which they called cheating, but it was four against three, so you thought it was fair.) Now, you held Jesse’s shoulders, giggling, as he lazily dragged you around in the water, with Hardcase swimming behind you, trying to grasp gently at your legs, a playful look in his eyes. Torva floated on her donut floaty somewhere beside you, her lekku dangling and swaying in the water, Boil and Waxer floating beside her. Ahsoka had rejoined Padmé with the twins.

You made Jesse pause when you heard your name being called from the shore. Narei was standing in the shallows, waving at you to come to her.

“I wonder what she wants,” you mused, mostly to yourself. Torva was already headed that way, Boil and Waxer following along.

“I’ll race you there,” Hardcase said, still grinning at you. He dove under the water, quickly heading for the shore.

You yelped when Jesse took off after him, clutching at his shoulders tighter as he raced through the water. You made it to the shore just a few moments after Hardcase.

“I don’t know about you two, but I'm pretty hungry,” Narei said.

You placed a hand over your stomach as you felt the familiar pang of hunger as well. You hadn’t noticed it with all the excitement.

“Ooh, yeah, I want to check out that sushi place by the hotel,” Torva said. She and Narei started walking back to your stuff still lying in the sand.

“I’ll be there in a minute!” you called after them. You turned back to Jesse and Hardcase, still in the shallows, grinning and jabbing at each other.

“What's up?” Hardcase asked.

“We’re going to get something to eat,” you replied, jerking your thumb to where Torva and Narei were packing up their things. “We’re pretty hungry after a long day at the beach.”

“So, you’re leaving for the day?” Jesse asked. If you didn’t know any better, you would almost say he looked like a sad puppy.

“Yeah, but we’ll be back tomorrow probably,” you said. You thought for a moment, the crossed your arms over your chest, sauntering toward them. “You know…there is a bar in the hotel....” You uncrossed your arms and placed a hand on both of their chests. “Meet me there later?”

Both of the men looked at each other, sharing a lopsided grin before turning back to face you. “Sounds like a plan,” Hardcase said, winking at you as they left.

A thrill ran up your spine as you watched them walk away. You turned to grab your things further up the beach with Torva and Narei. Now you had something else to look forward to tonight.

---

The bar was packed. Everyone was celebrating, as you had anticipated. Lights and music pulsed all around you, and it would almost be too much if not for the liquor already coursing through your veins. The three of you were sitting at the bar counter, drinks in hand, and waiting for the boys to show.

“Do you think they’ll come?” you asked, biting your lip and glancing again at the door.

Narei rolled her eyes and downed her drink in one gulp. “Not if you keep looking like a lost puppy.”

You sighed and glanced down at your drink, taking a sip of it. The sweet liquid burned its way down your throat, giving you a little boost of confidence. You looked back up and straightened your shoulders.

Torva laughed on your other side. “See? We don’t need them to have fun. It’s our girl’s vacay anyway!” She slid off of her stool and tugged at you hand. “C’mon! Dance with me!”

You laughed with her, letting her tug you off your stool and drag you to the dancefloor. You held her hand and swayed to the music with her, laughing and letting the giddy feeling of the alcohol and the music flow through you. She held your hand up and you twirled around her, letting your feet slide you out of her grasp. You bumped into someone and you gasped, turning around to apologize. “Oh! I'm sorry—!” You gasped again when you realized it was the two clones you were waiting for. “Jesse! ‘Case!”

“Havin’ fun without us, princess?” Hardcase asked, his hands sliding to your waist.

The strong liquor running through your bloodstream made you feel braver than usual. Your hands went to his cheeks and you leaned up to give him a quick kiss on his lips. You giggled at the surprised look on his face.

“What took you so long?” you giggled, turning to Jesse behind you.

“’Case had to make sure he looked good,” Jesse said. He put his thumb on your chin and pulled you to his lips.

You hummed and leaned into his touch. You rested a hand on his chest, leaning up slightly on your tiptoes to reach him, and broke away from him with a smile. You looked down to observe their outfits and hummed appreciatively again. “You dressed all fancy for me?” They were wearing, what you could assume, their gray military uniforms.

Hardcase tugged on the hand you left resting on his cheek and grinned. “Dress to impress, baby.”

You turned to face him completely, placing your hands on his shoulders. You liked the way their uniforms accentuated their broad chests and shoulders. Theirs had blue stripes, just like their swim trunks had.

“How much have you had to drink, baby?” Hardcase asked, pulling you closer to him. You noted the slight tinge of concern to his voice.

You rolled your eyes. “Just one! Narei was buying!”

“How ‘bout we buy you all the drinks you want?” Jesse murmured into your ear, pulling you toward the bar.

“No!” you exclaimed, pouting. “I want to dance! Dance with me!” You pulled both of them further onto the dance floor, laughing.

You didn’t know how long you danced with them. You could have danced all night with them, with the pulsing lights and music, with the alcohol coursing through your veins. It was only until Hardcase’s grip on your hips and sides became tighter, pulling you in for more heated kisses, and Jesse’s gaze became more intense and his mouth twitched up into an even cockier smile that you thought you might want to take things to your room.

“I think it’s time for a change of scenery, don’t you ‘Case?” Jesse asked. He nodded in the direction of the bar’s exit.

“Wait! I need to tell my friends!” You turned around to find Torva and Narei within the packed bar. You saw Torva in a booth sitting in Boil’s lap with Waxer’s lips attached to her neck. Narei sat at the bar with Boost and Sinker’s rapt attention. You huffed slightly in annoyance.

“I think they’re in good company,” Hardcase said behind you.

You turned back around to face them, a grin on your face. “I’d like some good company for myself.” You took both of their hands and led them out of the bar and up to your room, giggling with anticipation.

---

Soft breaths tickled your nose. You scrunched and wiggled it, squinting your eyes open. Your eyes were met with the rich brown skin of Hardcase, sleeping next to you. You smiled and traced the blue geometric lines down his face. His lips twitched and he let out a small puff of breath.

“G’mornin’,” he muttered, not opening his eyes.

You giggled and placed a kiss to his lips. “Good morning.” You tried shifting to face him, but then realized Jesse was still sleeping on your chest, his soft snores tickling the skin of your neck. You bent your head to give a quick kiss on his forehead and traced the tattoo covering the left side of his face.

Hardcase yawned and peeked his eyes open, stretching slightly. “How much did I drink last night?”

You laughed softly, so as not to wake Jesse. “I think I was the only one who drank last night.” You stretched your arms up and over your head, trying to wriggle out from underneath Jesse. “And now I have to go to the ‘fresher.”

“It’s alright if you’re a little rough,” Hardcase said, chuckling. “Jess’ don’t wake up for nothin’.” He shifted over and up slightly to let you wriggle out from underneath Jesse. Jesse just grunted and snuggled deeper into the blankets.

You stood up and grabbed your phone off the bedside table. You turned back around to give another quick kiss to Hardcase, who had flopped over to the other side of the bed. “I’ll be right back.”

You padded into the refresher. The hotel soaps were still in their packaging with your tooth cleanser and other toiletries stacked with them. You turned on the tap and splashed some warm water on your face, scrubbing it with a cloth. You grimaced at the marks on your neck and around your collarbone. That was going to be hard to explain.

Once you were done, you checked your phone. You bit your lip to stop smirking. Two unread messages on your group chat with Torva and Narei. This was gonna be good, you thought.

torva 🤘: so uhh

torva 🤘: wild night huh guys 😂 😂

You snickered. Yeah definitely 😂, you texted back. I'm gonna have to go out in a turtleneck now 😂 😂

torva 🤘: same 😂 😂

You sighed and rooted through your makeup bag that you had brought with you. You could probably cover it up with some foundation and concealer, as long as you didn’t stay too long in the water.

You looked back at your phone when you heard it ping again. Narei had sent a photo. You opened it and gasped, covering you mouth to control your laughter. She had taken it from the neck up; her hair was wild and she had a hand covering her forehead. The thing that stood out the most was the large bite mark on her neck, where you noticed Sinker’s platinum hair peeking in at the corner.

narei 😏: do either of you know how to cover a bite mark?

torva 🤘: YOU DIDN’T

torva 🤘: MOTHER OF MOONS 😂 😂

narei 😏: they're not called the wolfpack for nothing

You leaned against the refresher sink, your body almost collapsing from holding in your laughter. It seemed all three of you had some explaining to do today.

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bigfan-fanfic · 5 years

Text

Grain Brain (Son of Demeter!Reader Headcanons)

Requested by @acoustickitten - another incredible requester - for a Son of Demeter with the relationship at my discretion.

Thanks for this one, I feel like there’s so little PJO reader-insert content for males! Anyway, I couldn’t decide, so the first part will be what life is like for a son of Demeter, and the second part will be the relationships, with Luke Castellan (for angst lovers), Will Solace (for the fluffy ones), and Percy Jackson (for a mixed bag). Hope you enjoy!

So, you’re a half-blood.

Children of Demeter are often have it the worst: theoretically, they are the only demigod grandchildren of Kronos hopping along out there: Hestia is an eternal maiden. Hera doesn’t cheat. The Big Three has only had a few slip-ups since their big oath after WWII. Demeter’s the only child of Rhea out there still... producing demigod children.

And your cabin might be the most ridiculed after Aphrodite and Dionysus in terms of combat usefulness.

The general insult for a Demeter kid is Grain Brain. Grain is such a rhymeable word that Cabin Four has been the result of many a scathing limerick from the Apollo Cabin.

But in the future, all those people will look at you as the counterexample.

Sure, Athena and Ares may have superiority in battle tactics and strength. Hermes might be sneaky and crafty and wordy. Apollo might have a huge number of seemingly-unrelated skills. Hephestus might have craftsmanship.

But you have... agriculture?

Woe betide anyone who underestimates the power of Demeter. Like Dionysus’ children, Cabin Four kids may develop some level of control over plants, specifically, anything cultivated.

The dryads are okay with you, but the dryads connected to fruit-bearing trees practically worship you, calling you my lord.

And especially powerful children of Demeter have some minor weather control ability. Demeter once stopped the entire world from getting any weather but scorching sun to hold it hostage for her daughter to be returned. Her children can access this power too.

Make a powerful child of Demeter angry? Clouds part, and the sun heats up like a thousand degrees, as concentrated rays of heat bake the opponent. It can even cross Camp Half-Blood’s magical weather shield.

Another thing Demeter kids have power over is food.

A Demeter kid can curse someone else with excessive hunger, or bless someone to be able to go without food indefinitely. They can also make anything taste like anything else.

They are also often enlisted, along with the Dionysus kids, to help boost the strawberry harvest.

The berries go crazy for Hilary Duff, but early Justin Bieber and Cheetah Girls makes them bananas. So you have to choose the lesser of all evils, because these songs do NOT sound good from a satyr’s pipes.

I feel like a Demeter kid shares some healing with Apollo kids, but can only mainly heal exhaustion, dehydration, anything relating to malnourishment.

Demeter kids can eat whatever they want.

Demeter Chrysaoros was the Lady of the Golden Sword, so don’t tell me Demeter kids can’t fight just as well as anyone else. Demeter’s sword was also made out of part of Kronos’ scythe, so she is powerful.

You are the most powerful son of Demeter in thousands of years. You might be the most powerful child of Demeter since Persephone.

You are the head counselor of Cabin Four, and you make sure everyone is hale and hearty.

Luke Castellan

Luke recognizes your power when he gets to Camp Half-Blood

And it strikes him as unfair that you might be just as powerful as Thalia, but since you weren’t a Big Three kid, you had to make your own way to camp - no seekers out looking for you.

So he and Annabeth adopt you into their little family.

Luke realizes he has fallen for you when he sees how much little Annabeth has taken a shine to you.

He’s known you for about a year when he sneaks out of Hermes cabin with a couple of smuggled Cokes and a Disney movie on cassette.

He asks you to sneak with him into the Big House. You watch the movie in the room usually reserved for the orientation video.

Your head leans on his shoulder because you are tired - it’s the middle of the night.

“Hey, uh, Y/N...”

“Mmm?”

“I really like - uh, this movie.” He can’t do it. He’s almost crying with frustration when he feels you kiss him on the cheek.

“I think I might love this movie.” You say hopefully.

Mr. D doesn’t sleep, and he’s right behind you. Shockingly, he doesn’t turn you both into dolphins, but instead ropes you into a late-night pinochle game with Chiron, who’s tail is in curlers for some reason.

It’s both the happiest and most embarrassing night in your life.

But from then on, you two are the “it” couple at camp.

You two become slightly distant after Luke’s quest, but you think it’s because he’s insecure over his new scar. There’s something missing when you two do seem to regain that lost ground.

When Percy comes to camp and beats Luke in a training duel, you congratulate him and boost his ego, telling him that everybody always ridiculed Demeter kids for not having any good talents, and that he can be good at whatever he chooses.

You are devastated when Luke betrays the gods.

He begs you to join him, but you refuse.

He kidnaps you aboard the Princess Andromeda, but you are rescued by Percy, Annabeth, and Tyson.

It was when you realized Luke was too far gone.

At the Battle of the Empire State Building, you yourself take on Kronos with all the might of your godly parent.

It’s not enough, and you are almost killed.

Luke takes back control for an instant, allowing you the chance to escape

Annabeth and you give the final blow together.

The last thing Luke sees is you.

And you know you will never meet again, not even in death, because Luke was always a pusher, and he’ll reincarnate to get to the Isles of the Blest.

Eventually you age out of Camp Half-Blood and travel the world, searching, hoping you can find happiness once more...

Will Solace

You two are the medicine couple

Feeling bad? Feeling blue? Visit Y/N and Will - odds are one of them will solve your problem.

You hang out with Will in the infirmary, handing out magical crackers that assist with healing.

During the Battle of the Labyrinth, your powers truly blossomed - you granted power to all the fruit-bearing dryads, allowing their trees to come to life and attack the opposing army. Will thought that was so cool - he brags about it every chance he gets.

You and Grover seal Hyperion into the tree during the Battle of the Empire State Building.

You and Will met during archery practice, because as an Apollo kid, he was booked to teach.

Among your numerous talents, archery is not.

You accidentally shoot him.

Although, the way you shot him was worthy of an Apollo kid - the arrow ricocheted off of like, thirteen different things before striking Will.

Not a good idea to have the best healer teach archery

But anyway, you felt so bad that you practically carried him to the Big House

And cried because you never wanted to hurt anyone

Especially not anyone as hot as Will

“Wait, what?”

“Oops.”

“Well, I think you might have to check for another wound.”

“What? Really?”

“Yup. I think you struck my heart with your arrow.”

They change the rule so that no two demigods from different cabins can be alone together because of you two.

You resolve this by camping in the woods overnight - the dryads have got your back.

Although a lot of them will try to steal Will from you, so I guess everything has its ups and downs.

Percy Jackson

At first, you were so annoyed by this sarcastic ball of insecurity.

He comes in here, insulting your godly heritage, making a mockery of all these camp activities, and then he met you

And his jaw drops open.

“Wow. Uh... who’s your godly parent?” he asks, almost in awe

“Demeter.”

He snickers. “The farming goddess?”

Yeah, that was pretty much one of the worst first impressions he could have made.

But he grew on you after a while.

And you... he was gone from the moment you saw he had blue Coke and changed yours to match.

He takes you to meet his mom as soon as possible

And she automatically knows he’s in love because Sally Jackson always knows.

She approves because she sees how much you love him back.

The two of you just started being together one day - neither of you can really pinpoint an exact moment.

Just, somehow, you two held hands and it felt right, so you kept doing it.

And just like that, you were a couple.

Aphrodite once promised to make Percy’s love life interesting.

Well, it doesn’t get much more interesting than you.

#male reader #pjo x male reader #percy jackson x male reader #pjo headcanons #luke castellan x male reader #will solace x male reader #headcanons

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staticscreenwriting · 5 years

Text

All you have to be is here - Part 9

Synopsis: Billy has fucked up and has to do 60 days of community service at a home for troubled kids and youth. Working with the kids there makes him learn a lot about himself. Also there’s a girl there his age who has a phenomenal smile and who is way too nice to him.

I guess I should mention there’s a lot of angst in this. Talk of substance abuse later on, physical abuse, emotional abuse. All that kind of gnarly real life stuff. It deals with kids and teens struggling with a a shitty family life so be aware of that.

Part 9 of ?

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8

Please help a girl out by reblogging. Thank you ♥

Attention ! If you wanna be tagged pls send me a message or an ask it’s easier and faster for me than going through the tags of each part every time. Thank you :)

[additional note: I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please.]

I never really ever felt so adored before Never really ever felt this type of vulnerable Don’t have to hide, don’t have to fear All you have to be is here Never really ever felt so adored before And I said I wanna feel like this forever Even if forever’s just for now We’re on fire, let us burn As the outside world, it turns We are here and alive In our corner of time Forevermore

The hardwood floor feels cold against Billy’s bare feet as he trudges out of the bedroom and towards (Y/N)’s kitchen in search for a coffee and a cigarette. Luke the cat is purring as he spots him, rubbing on his legs in hope for some food.

Billy never particularly liked cats but this one has grown on him. He’s fat and lazy and blissfully unbothered by everything. He really really likes this cat.

Starting the coffee machine, Billy reaches out for a mug and has to suppress a groan as his eye register just which one he’s grabbed. It’s black and shiny and there’s a picture of a much younger (Y/N) printed on it. She’s maybe 3 or 4 years in this picture, a poster child for innocence but her smile is the same one he’s grown so fond of. It’s what’s written beneath the photo that makes his heart drop.

“ Happy father’s day to the best dad in the world. “ How fucking ironic.

Unconsciously, Billy’s eyes wander towards the doorway leading to the living room. His hands grip the mug a little tighter as he feels the anger start to bubble up again.

There’s a man on this couch, he’s banged up and yet he’s sleeping safe and sound. That man shouldn’t be there, he gave up the right to be there years ago. There’s a man there that broke (Y/N) heart in a million little pieces and judging by the tears that stained her cheeks last night, he continues to do so to this day.

Maybe, Billy thinks, he’s projecting his own frustrations and pain and suffering onto this situation. Maybe this one can have a happy ending for (Y/N) and her dad. Though life has never really given Billy a reason to believe happy endings do exist outside of fairy tales. This can only be a crash and burn situation waiting to happen.

For the first time in his life, he hopes he’s wrong. He wants so desperately to see (Y/N) succeed, to see her happy.

Luke nudges against Billy’s ankle, effectively softening the mood a little.

“ Alright, amigo. I’ll give you some food. Calm down. “

Maneuvering his way around the kitchen and preparing the food for Luke, it all feels weirdly domestic. He can move around freely, no fears of making any wrong moves of messing anything up. This is what home feels like. What his own home should feel like. What it never does.

“ You talking to the cat ? “

A pair of eyes look back at Billy, that looks so familiar. They’re (Y/N)’s eyes. Identical and yet they couldn’t be more different. There’s no warmth in these eyes, no softness. No love.

The man’s eyes are cold and tired and empty.

“ Yeah, so what ? “

“ No I — I wasn’t judging. Just — look kid I was just trying to start a conversation. “

“ Not a kid. “

There’s a shift in the air, a shift in Billy’s mood too. Suddenly he’s on high alert, extremely conscious of his surroundings, of the man’s moves. It’s a side effect of living with a dad who loves to smack you around. You get highly aware of everything around you. The good and the bad. And it’s scary. Like a constant shadow following you, ready to swallow you whole if you let your guard down for long enough.

(Y/N)’s dad lets out a long sigh then leans against the kitchen island. He looks worse for wear. Tired. Exhausted. The skin around his eye is colored in hues of red and blue and purple and it’s swollen almost shut. There’s dried blood around his nose and the cut above his eyebrow looks painful even from afar.

Billy knows he shouldn’t, knows this is probably earning him a ton of bad karma points, but there’s a tiny part in him that take a sick satisfaction in this man’s misery. No matter how much his physical wounds hurt, they won’t ever come close to the emotional anguish he’s willingly put his own daughter through. And for that, Billy thinks, he deserves to suffer.

If anyone knows how it feels, it’s Billy. He’s been through it all, the physical and the emotional pain and if he was ever asked to chose, he’d take the hits over the heartbreak anytime. Those heal at least.

“ I understand that you don’t like me a whole bunch. I — I deserve it, probably. “ the guy says, a slight southern accent ringing through his words.

A scoff falls from Billy’s lips “ probably. “

“ What do you want me to do ? I’m trying here, ya know. “

Billy turns around, pours himself another mug of coffee, black. Strong. Not because he wants it, one cup is usually enough for him in the morning, but because if he doesn’t take a minute to cool down the anger and frustration is gonna get the best of him and he’s gonna reach over the kitchen island and give this dude another black eye.

“ She didn’t have to take care a me last night but she did. I appreciate that, I do. I know she’s a good girl. “

“ You don’t know shit, man. “

“ And you do ? “

“ I was the one holding her when she cried for hours the last time you showed up, drunk off your ass. I know that, no matter how much shit you put her through, she still loves you and cares about you way more than you deserve. “

“ What I put her through ? “

“ Yeah. What you put her through when she was just a fucking kid. Smacking around her mom like it was nothing? Having (Y/N) witness all of it ? That shit is unforgivable in my book. If it was on me, I would’ve left you there last night. I wouldn’t have given you a second look. Fortunately for the both of us, she isn’t like that. She’s warm and soft and loving and she gives way more than she ever asks for. “

Billy moves closer to the guy, looks him straight in the eye. God how he wishes he could have the guts to say these things to his own father. Stand up to him. To put down his foot and make it clear that enough is enough.

Fact is, he doesn’t have it in him. Not now not yet.

But this isn’t Neil. It’s not his own abuser. Not his own demons he’s fighting here.

It’s (Y/N) and for her it’s worth the fight. For her it’s worth being brave.

“ Listen to me, “ he says and lowers his voice so tremendously it almost resembles a growl “ she once told me that people don’t need to earn love, that it’s not something one has to be deserving of. I don’t think that’s true all of the time. I think you need to do a whole lot to earn back her love and even then you won’t be deserving of it. Not after what you did. You’ll never be good enough for her. Never. She’ll love you anyway. That’s the world she’s living in. A good one. Where people forgive. I don’t share that sentiment. I don’t forgive. So if you hurt her again, I will hurt you. That black eye ? You’re going to wish for it back if I get my hands on you. I’ve done worse things to people and back then my only reason was boredom. This girl ? I love her. I’m sure you can imagine how much that feeling fuels my anger if someone were to hurt her. Are we clear ? “ he asks and pats the man on the shoulder.

“ Are you threatening me ? “

“ No. I’m just making sure you know the stakes. “

Billy can already see this ending badly. It’s like a sixth sense for misery. He hopes, for (Y/N) sake, that he’s wrong.

The odds tell him he’s not.

“ She’s always a woman to me “ by Billy Joel is softly playing from the vinyl player in the corner of the recreation room. (Y/N) sits by a table helping one of the younger girls draw a bunch of flowers with crayons in all colors of the rainbow.

Billy never particularly liked the song until he heard (Y/N) sing along to it one day in her kitchen. She was wearing his shirt and her hair was piled on top of her head and there was still a faint imprint of her pillow visible on her cheek. She’s never looked more gorgeous than in that moment.

It became one of his favorite songs then. He thinks she knows. Sometimes she hums it when they sit on her couch and she softly plays with his hair. Things don’t feel so bad then.

As if she can sense his thoughts, (Y/N) lifts her eyes off the drawing and finds his across the room. Her lips are pulled into a tiny smile, it’s hardly there but it’s enough for Billy to notice. For him to understand.

“ She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes “ Billy thinks the guy might be onto something there.

This is the first time she’s smiled since everything with her dad happened. Her dad, who’s still waiting at her place for them to return. She’s offered him to stay for a while, “just to get back on your feet”. It makes Billy uncomfortable, so fucking uncomfortable. He can already see her making up scenarios in her head, of a future that involves her dad. A happy one where the past is the past and wounds and magically healed. He loves her unwavering positivity. He loves that she believes in a world where good things happen to good people.

He also knows that this makes her vulnerable though. If things don’t go the way she imagines them to go now, and they won’t, it’s gonna hit her twice as hard. He doesn’t know how he’s ever going to stomach seeing her go through that hurt. If only he could take it from her. He’d do it. In a heartbeat.

“ You’re doing it wrong “ a tiny voice speaks up from beside him. Jack is 6, he’s got shaggy blond hair and blue eyes and a bright smile missing a few milk teeth already. Jack, like (Y/N), believes in a world where ordinary things are magical and love if free and good things happen even though the world has done nothing but prove him wrong. Jack reminds Billy entirely too much of another little boy with blond hair and blue eyes and a perfect little world.

That boy is gone now. Buried underneath a thousand layers of hurt and bitterness and cruel words from a person that’s supposed to love him. Billy hopes things can turn out different for Jack.

“ What do you mean, I’m doing it wrong ? I’m literally just coloring in this fu — this picture. “

If someone had told him a few weeks ago that he’d sit in a room with a bunch of kids and his — his girl, coloring in pictures and listening to cheesy pop love songs, he would’ve told the person they’re insane. It’s his new normal though, as normal as life can be for him anyway. And even though he will never admit this to anyone, not even (Y/N), he might even enjoy these moments a little. Problems seem to be non existent for the for the time being. The air feels lighter. The mood feel softer. It gets easier to breathe, even if it’s just for an hour.

It’s, and he’s not going to repeat this, it’s kinda fun.

“ Yeah but you made the dinosaur green. It’s not. It’s supposed to be brown. “ Jack speaks up again, pointing his small finger towards Billy’s green T-rex drawing.

“ How’d you know ? You ever seen a T-rex ? “

“ Uh-huh. “ Jack nods “ my mom took me to a museum once when we visited grandma in New York City. They had lots of pictures and postcards. Maybe if mom — if she — maybe I can go again and bring you one. “

Billy doesn’t know this boy’s story but it’s clear to him that something about his mom ain’t the way it’s supposed to be. He knows Jack stays here permanently so whatever it is, it can’t be good.

“ See, I’ve never seen a T-rex so I wouldn’t know about the color. I’d appreciate that postcard. “

Jack nods but the childlike wonder, the excitement, is gone. He’s more timid now. Almost sad.

“ I don’t think my mommy is gonna come get me anytime soon. But if she does and we go to New York I promise to bring you one. You’re my friend now. “

God this kid is trying to kill him, huh ?

“ Mommy hasn’t visited since when it was snowing outside. I miss her sometimes. “

Yep, Billy’s heart was officially shattered into a million little pieces laid out on the table in front of him, right above the drawing of the (wrongfully) green colored dino.

“ I miss my mom too. “

It’s the first time he’s told anyone this is — ever. Sometimes he likes to make himself believe that he doesn’t miss her anymore. That she effectively lost the right of being missed when she chose to leave. That’s a lie though. Absolute bullshit.

If anyone needs to hear the truth right now, it’s this little boy. And the little boy inside Billy that’s still missing his mom an awful lot, no matter how much grown-up bitter Billy likes to deny it.

“ Where is she ? “ Jack asks with that unbothered childlike curiosity.

“ She uh — I don’t know for sure but I think she’s back home in California. “

“ Was she not ready to be a mommy ? Mine wasn’t. “

“ I — I don’t know, Jack. “

“ When I last saw my mommy she hugged me really tight. And she gave me a teddy bear and she told me that she loves me very much but that she’s sad and sad people can’t be good mommys so she’s going away to become happy again and when she’s not sad anymore she’ll come back and we can be happy together. Maybe your mommy was sad too“

Billy has to swallow back a knot forming in his throat. Has to keep the tears at bay. This is not place to cry, Billy. Not in public, Billy. Never in public, Billy.

“ Maybe. “

“ Well I hope she is happy again soon so you can be happy with her. “

Wherever she is, Billy too hopes she’s happy.

Maybe Jack has a point, maybe one day they can be happy together. Maybe when he isn't sad anymore. He hopes she’s there already waiting for him.

“ I’m not saying you shouldn’t let him stay. I’m just not okay with you being alone with him “

“ He’s my dad, Billy. “

“ Exactly. “

One word conveys all he feels on that subject. Their track record is just too fucked up to ever trust someone just because they’re supposed to be “family”. It just doesn’t mean shit.

Billy’s holding onto a bag of grocery they have picked up, as (Y/N) opens the door to her place. She’s told Billy it’s okay for him to go home though there’s no way in hell he’s gonna leave her alone with this dude. And home and “home” anyway.

“ I know what he did was — “ she doesn’t finish the sentence though, as her eyes fall onto the state of her apartment.

Every drawer seems to have been pulled opened and ransacked, there’s cutlery on the floor and not a single cupboard door is closed. The pillows that used to be neatly placed on the couch are thrown everywhere.

“ Dad ? “

And there it is. The metaphorical bomb Billy knew was gonna come but wished so hard it wouldn’t.

His eyes wander around the room before they land on a piece of paper on the kitchen island. He picks it up and reads the first few words before knowing exactly what it is. The heartbreak he so desperately wanted to safe her from, all written down neatly in blue ink on white paper.

“ Some of my money is gone, Billy “ (Y/N) says as she hurries out of the bedroom, an empty old can of Folgers coffee in hand.

“ You should read this “ is all he says as he holds out the letter to her. What does one say in a situation like that ? Hey babe, here’s some heartbreak for ya ?!

She carefully takes it from his hands and lets her eyes move across the page. He can see clear as day what the letter says, doesn’t even have to read it himself. It’s all there in her eyes. In the way the warmth slowly vanished and is replaced by a cold, a sadness, utter despair.

He warned him. He fucking warned him not go break her. Not again. And what does he do ? Exactly that.

“ Billy ? “ she says, a sniffle evident in her voice.

“ Yeah ? “

“ What did you say to him ? “

“ What did I say to him ? “

“ Uh-huh. “

Why does it matter, he thinks. The guy is gone. Up and left as he always assumed he would.

“ He says in this letter that you talked to him so what the fuck did you say ? “

The fury her voice holds, he’s never seen in her before. It’s terrifying.

“ I told him not to hurt you again. Told him he doesn’t deserve your forgiveness. “

“ That’s not on you to decide “ she yells. It’s the first time he’s heard her yell like this. With pain in her voice with — disappointment.

“ I was trying to help “

“ Well stop ! “

“ I can’t. I love you and I know what guys like him are like. I — “

“ You don’t know anything “ she’s crying now and as much as he wants to hold her, he also feels the anger bubble up again. There’ve been many moment where Billy was in the wrong, where he deserved to be yelled at. Not this time. He did nothing wrong this time. Hearing her say these things is not only shitty, it also hurt. A whole fucking lot.

“ I know what shitty dads are like. They don’t give a shit, (Y/N) “.

“ Maybe yours doesn’t. But my dad is not Neil. Maybe he can change. Maybe he can love me again. Unlike yours, mine at least he used to love me. “

The anger is gone. The sadness is gone. Everything he’s felt up to that moment is just gone and he’s left feeling completely numb as those words leave her lips.

He can see the realisation in her eyes of what she just said.

“ Billy I — “

“ Fuck you, (Y/N) “

She’s following him out of the apartment and down the corridor, down the stairs, out of the building and into the parking lot. And she’s crying. Crying up a goddamn storm.

Billy can’t bring himself to care. Not right then. Not after what she just said to him.

“ Billy please. “

“ You know what (Y/N), “ now it’s his time to yell, “ maybe my dad doesn’t love me but at least I am honest enough with myself to accept that fact. At least I don’t pretend like my life is all rainbows and butterflies and sappy love songs. I know he doesn’t love me and I accept how fucked up and shitty it is. At least I don’t live in a fantasy world where everything fine and dandy and problems are magically fixed by singing kumbaya and drawing my feelings. “

As he gets in the car and speeds off, leaving her alone in the dark, his thoughts twist and tangle in all kinds of ways. None of them clear. All of them a blurred mess.

He only notices the tears running down his cheeks as he arrives home and gets out of the car, wiping them away so that Neil won’t see them. He fears he’ll be able to tell anyway.

With heavy steps Billy walks up to the house then tries to turn the key as quietly as possible. If ever he believed in a higher power, Billy prays that now is the time they chose to be kind to him and make sure Neil doesn’t catch him coming home late.

But as he stated before, life’s hardly ever been kind to him and tonight is no exception.

“ Where’ve you been ? “ Neil asks as he leans against the door leading into Billy’s room.

“ Work. “

“ Not until now you haven’t “.

“ A friend’s “.

Neil raises his eyebrow, for a moment contemplating his next step. Usually Billy would care, about a possible beating, about whatever nasty words Neil is about to spit at him. Though tonight he doesn’t give a shit. Whatever he does, whatever he says, it won’t hurt nearly as much as (Y/N)’s words just did.

“ Uh-huh and what got you all wheepy ? “

“ I doesn’t matter “ he murmures and turns towards his room, effectively being stopped by Neil’s arm reaching out and blocking the way.

“ What was that ? “

“ I said It doesn’t matter “

For a moment the two just stare at each other, matching fury in their eyes. Silently challenging each other to make the next step.

Neil grabs Billy’s jaw in between his fingers and squeezes just a little. Just hard enough to hurt but not leave a mark or cause serious damage.

“ Thin ice, Billy. Thin fucking ice. “

With that he lets go and moves towards the kitchen.

Billy hurries into his room, slams the door and slumps down on the floor besides his bed. His head drops down to rest on his knees and another round of hot salty tears roll down his cheeks.

If this way any other situation he’d be cuddled up on (Y/N)’s couch, telling her about the things that upset him and she’d tell him that she understands and that things can only get better from here on out and then she’d kiss him and put his heart back together little by little.

But what if the only one that can fix your heart, is the one that destroyed it in the first place ? Not broke. Destroyed.

Billy reaches up towards the phone resting on his bedside table and pulls it down towards him. His fingers move across the buttons in an almost trance like state. He knows the number by heart. Has dialed it so many times. So many times.

It rings. Once. Twice. Three Times.

He wonders if she even picks up.

“ Hello ? “

If only hearing her voice could make things right. Could fix him in one way or another. If only hearing her voice could make him feel like home the way it used to do. If only hearing her voice was enough.

“ Hello ? “ she asks again.

Billy clears his voice then takes a long breath, bracing himself for what’s about to come and then. Then he answers.

“ Hi, mom. It’s me. Billy. “

_______________________

@babygal-babygal / @anxiousamandapanda / @imjusthereforsupernatural / @chhhcherybomb / @tomarisela / @noodlenerd101 / @xxcxrolinexx / @bippity-boppity-boopa / @mcrmarvelloki / @silver-winter-wolf / @thecrowclubsmanager / @theroyalbrownbarbie / @salemlysi / @sarai-ibn-la-ahad / @asheseiler / @stra-vage / @ssstutteringbbbill / @biliyonce / @addictofsupernatural / @angelophany / @charmed-asylum / @xxemoluverxx / @killer-queen-xo / @1lluminaticonfirmed / @rebel-broken-angel /

#billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagines #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfic

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mst3kproject · 5 years

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The Star Wars Holiday Special

Happy Holidays, MSTies! Your present is Episodes that Never Were are back! Remember last year, when I said Elves was so bad I wished I’d watched the Star Wars Holiday Special instead? Let’s find out what those words taste like.

The galaxy may be in the midst of a rebellion, but Chewbacca promised his family he will be back for Life Day, and god damn it, he’s gonna get there! He and Han Solo dodge Imperial forces and asteroid fields on the way, but the real danger may be waiting for them at home, as Stormtroopers do a treehouse-to-treehouse search for rebel sympathizers. It won’t be much of a holiday if Chewie arrives home only to be immediately arrested!

That sounds exciting, doesn’t it? It even sounds like it could be made to mean something. There is perhaps a point here about inter-ethnic empathy – Life Day may be a Wookiee holiday, but Chewbacca’s alien friends still know how important it is to him and they’re gonna help him keep his promise. We could also compare it to Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. In that movie, the Martians want to celebrate Christmas but aren’t particularly interested in what it means. They get all their information about it from pirated television and from children who don’t understand anything much more than ‘free stuff’. We didn’t give Christmas to them, they literally stole it by kidnapping Santa. In the Holiday Special, the Wookiees are sharing their cultural traditions with outsiders who have become part of their family – Leia’s speech at the ends notes the humans’ respect for this.

But none of that’s relevant, because this is just a bad 70’s variety hour in a Star Wars costume. We don’t get to see claustrophobic scenes of our brave heroes hiding from the Storm Troopers. We don’t get sweeping space battles or bickering robots or weird new planets… we don’t get anything we go to see Star Wars for. Instead, we mostly watch the Wookiees sitting around their house passing the time as they wait helplessly for Chewbacca to get home. This could have been neat in itself if Wookiees had an interesting culture, but they live in a Mod 70’s Treehouse and seem to spend most of their time watching television. The brief opening sequence, in which Solo and Chewie outrun their pursuers in the Millennium Falcon, is just a tantalizing offer of chocolate on the tip of a giant turd.

The actual point of the show, as far as the people who produced it were concerned, was the various little musical numbers and comedy sequences along the way, some of which are more Star Wars-themed than others. Most of these are presented as one or other of the characters watching them on some form of television, which often doesn’t make any sense. The sequences themselves are usually not very well-presented and a lot of them are just downright boring, so let’s go through them one by one. Top up your eggnog, folks. We may be here a while.

Our first setpiece is a holographic circus featuring jugglers and acrobats, which the adults use to distract Lumpy so he’ll stop bothering them – like parents at the mall letting their kids watch Paw Patrol on a tablet while they shop. When you see televised circus acts, they’re usually filmed up close and at interesting angles, to heighten the sense of danger, and give you a good look at what’s going on. The Star Wars Holiday Special presents it as tiny figures on a table, always shot from far away and looking down, which removes all the drama from the stunts. Lumpy enlarges a figure, but it’s only the ringmaster. The others remain tiny, all while this little Wookiee looms over them like a kaiju that will start stomping if it isn’t entertained.

Then we get Mark Hamill’s cameo (in which he looks weirdly like one of the puppets from Invaders from the Deep), followed by Malla’s attempt to cook Bantha Surprise by following the directions on a tv show. I’m not very interested in cooking shows anyway, but I have a hard time imagining anybody being interested in a fake cooking show featuring fictional ingredients from other planets. What we see on Malla’s screen comes across as a sort of parody, but not actually a funny one. I’m tempted to think Harvey Korman must have been making fun of some particular 70’s cooking show maven but I don’t begin to know who that might be.

The ‘humour’ of the sequence is supposed to come from Malla’s attempt to follow the directions even though the cook on the show has four arms and Malla only two. I could pull some commentary on ableism in cooking and cooking shows out of this, but it would be a stretch, and nobody on the writing end was thinking about it that hard. It’s just stupid, and so is Korman’s plastic wig. Malla eventually turns it off in frustration, long after we’re tired of listening to it.

By the way, if you’re wondering whose stupid idea it was to set the whole thing on Kashyyyk (or, as a guy in the Special calls it, Kazook) and not have any subtitles to the Wookiee’s dialogue? That was apparently 100% George Lucas. The actual script and everything was in the hands of the television producers, but Lucas would not budge on the premise being Wookiee-centric. At least he exorcised that particular demon here, instead of subjecting us to it on the big screen.

Anyway, next Art Carney drops by to deliver some Life Day presents, among which is the source of our next setpiece: a VR machine which reads Itchy’s mind to present a personalized fantasy! This takes the form of Diahann Carroll in a sparkly feather wig, singing a song and saying things like “I am your fantasy, experience me!” The song is okay, I guess, and Carroll has a lovely voice, but what we’re seeing is basically a boring music video. She’s just standing there on a glittery black background, and we can’t forget that she’s singing to a geriatric Wookiee who is doing the Wookiee equivalent of jacking off to this (emphasized by the appearance of literal little swimmers in part of the sequence!). The fact that it’s a personal fantasy plucked from his subconscious makes it feel like this was something we weren’t supposed to be privy to, like we’re looking through somebody else’s computer at his girlfriend’s nudes.

Princess Leia (also looking disturbingly puppet-like… are we sure the actual actors appeared in this, and not look-a-likes in heavy makeup?) and C3P0 get their cameo, and then there’s the single actually effective moment in the Special. This is when we think Han Solo and Chewie are about to arrive home, ending our torment a full hour early, but no, it’s the Storm Troopers! This bit isn’t fantastic, but it does work. Then, sadly, we’re on to the next variety act.

This is a holographic music video which Carney shows to the Imperial troops as a demonstration that the device he has brought Malla for Life Day is harmless. It’s Jefferson Starship moaning out a rock song, in which I can understand at best one word in three. The visuals are in intense soft-focus that’s probably supposed to be artsy. The costumes (what I can see of them) aren’t any more Star-Wars-y than anything else bands wore in the 70’s. And the song sounds like something you’d find in the ‘easy’ setting on Rock Band. Why does Black Helmet sit there and watch the whole thing when he’s supposed to be searching every house on Kashyyyk/Kazook for rebel sympathizers?

The version of the Special currently available on YouTube, which tragically lacks the commercials, has a lot of comments along the lines of this is what you hallucinate after buying Death Sticks from that guy on Coruscant.

To drive the point home, the next thing we see is Lumpy watching a cartoon about Han Solo and Chewbacca crash-landing on an ocean planet while searching for a mystical talisman that makes things invisible (I wish they hadn’t actually shown this object – then I could have made jokes about it being the One Ring). This sequence is generally regarded as the best thing in the Special, and it introduced Boba Fett and provided some characterization for him. It is definitely true that this is the only segment with a plot, and with its weird aliens and grubby outposts it feels a lot more like Star Wars than anything else going on here.

The main thing that keeps me from enjoying this segment is that it just looks weird. The animators use exaggerated squash-and-stretch on the droids, even more so than on the living characters, which makes them look like they’re made out of jell-o. Princess Leia looks like something out of a cheap 60’s manga and Luke like he was drawn by a twelve-year-old based on an action figure that wasn’t actually of Luke Skywalker. Luke has no pupils, which is very distressing, but not as distressing as when C3P0 blinks. Even worse, as far as I can tell Han Solo has no eyes at all.

The design of the alien planet in this sequence is pretty cool, though. It appears to be entirely covered in a kind of goopy ocean and the creatures that live in it are neat-looking, even if not terribly plausible. Animation is really a great medium for fantasy and science fiction, because it levels the playing field: we’re not thinking about the special effects because everything on screen looks equally unreal. This is something Disney, who used it to such beautiful effect in Lilo and Stitch, totally forgot at just about the same time as they acquired the rights to Star Wars. Oh, for what could have been.

I want to note here that the average review on this blog is about as long as what you’ve read so far. We’re only about two thirds of the way through the Special, though, and I can’t really divide a holiday review up into two weeks. Therefore, consider this your permission to take a break and go snag another latke or whatever you’re snacking on, and then we’ll continue.

There’s one fun bit of background social commentary in the animated sequence, too: the only way for humans to survive the virus is to hang them upside-down so their brains will get enough oxygen despite their weakened hearts. In the city there’s an advertisement for the cure – and the upside-down human pictured in the ad is, of course, a woman in her underwear. The image isn’t detailed and it’s not the focus of the shot, so I don’t think it’s an actual piece of gratuitous cheesecake. Apparently somebody at Nelvana Ltd was just salty about the advertising industry.

The self-contained story in the cartoon makes sense within itself. It justifies Fett’s fearsome reputation far better than anything in The Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi, and the characters seem to be in-character even when they’re off-model. The problem is with it as a part of the framing story about the Imperial troops searching Chewbacca’s house! The Special is very explicit that this is not something that’s actually happening in the real world at the same time as the other events – it is a cartoon Lumpy is watching on TV. Why, in a galaxy controlled by the Empire, would there be cartoons using the real names of real rebel operatives and presenting them as the heroes? If nobody’s supposed to know Boba Fett is connected with the Empire, why does the show blow his cover?

More importantly, where can I get one of those awesome giant stuffed Banthas Lumpy has in his room? I don’t know if that’s a real toy that was available in the late 70’s, but Comic Images does make something similar and you can buy them at Wal-Mart or Toys R Us.

While cleaning up the mess the Stormtroopers made of his room, Lumpy watches an instructional video of how to put together some kind of radio. This features Harvey Korman as an android who keeps getting jammed. Like cooking shows, instructional videos aren’t very interesting unless you’re trying to follow the directions – since we can’t follow the directions, this one is pointless to begin with. The ‘joke’ is not funny, and lines like “every one of the ten thousand terminals on your circuit breaker module is a different colour” might be amusing when written down but they just don’t work when somebody says them aloud. Fortunately, it doesn’t last long.

Then we get on to what’s probably the second-best thing in the Special, the bit where we learn that the Mos Eisley cantina is owned by Bea Arthur. It would be easily the most expensive thing in the Special were it not made up of b-roll footage and re-used puppets from Episode IV. It’s also kind of got a plot, in that a guy with a baking soda volcano on top of his head (this is certainly an efficient way to get the alcohol directly to your brain) is trying to confess his love to Bea while she just wants to get on with running her business. Eventually he gets his heart broken and leaves, and then the Empire shuts the bar down, so Bea throws everybody out with a song.

I have to admit, in The Force Awakens when Han Solo mentioned a female friend who ran a ‘watering hole’… there was a moment there when I was half-expecting it to be Bea Arthur’s character. I’m relieved that it wasn’t, but also just the slightest bit disappointed. We had to wait for The Mandalorian to get a proper Holiday Special callback.

This bit almost had a chance to say something with its ‘thwarted romance’ plot. Usually such a thing in a tv show would get what the male character would consider a happy ending. He would prove to his love interest that being cared for is important, she would realize that love is better than money, and they would metaphorically ride off into the sunset. What it looks like we’re going to get here instead is something more like the episode of South Park where Butters fell in love with the Hooters waitress. Harvey Korman’s character (yes, he plays three different characters in this Special and this was apparently supposed to be a selling point) realizes his crush is based on a misunderstanding, and while it makes him sad, he’s not going to be an asshole about it.

Nor is Bea’s character vilified for rejecting him, which she does tactfully but firmly, as if she’s gone through this many times before. He’s just a minor annoyance in her day before she goes on to worry about bigger problems, like getting everybody to obey that Imperial curfew. Then, however, at the last second he pops up from behind the counter after everybody has left – and that’s where the segment ends. I think we’re supposed to assume they got together after all, but I kind of hope she just threw him out with the rest of them. No means no, damn it.

Bea Arthur’s Go Home Song is to the tune the Cantina Band was playing in Episode IV, so it pretty much goes without saying it’s the catchiest piece in the Special.

Then, finally, it’s time to celebrate Life Day! The Wookiees hold up some glowing Christmas balls, then dress in red robes and walk through outer space into a, uh, wormhole, I guess, that takes them to the base of the giant tree from Avatar. There it’s time for our final setpiece, the culmination of this whole ninety-minute ordeal… Princess Leia sings! The Life Day Carol is to the tune of the main Star Wars theme, and the lyrics sound like something from a generic Christmas album you get free if you buy three cards at Hallmark. Carrie Fisher is a decent singer but she looks like she’s as glad this is over as we are.

Much like Howard the Duck, The Star Wars Holiday Special is a production in which they made all the worst decisions they possibly could. Focusing on the Wookiees at home rather than following Han Solo and Chewbacca through the action killed the whole thing at the starting gate. Then that plot is nothing but a frame on which they can hang the various variety acts, and none of those are very good. It’s only towards the end of the sequence that what we’re seeing even has anything to do with Star Wars. Watching it is an ordeal on the order of an un-riffed Coleman Francis film. It’s so bad, it’s not even something people get together and watch like they do Manos or The Room.

So why do we still have it? The Holiday Special was only broadcast once, and was met by fathomless loathing from critics, Star Wars fans, and ordinary people alike. It has never been released in any other format (Andrew Borntreger of badmovies.org has a story about how Lucas had him thrown out of a Q&A panel for asking if it were getting a DVD release), so the fact that you can find it on YouTube today is down to some nameless hero who recorded it on their newfangled VCR back in 1978. That person then showed it to friends, apparently on the basis of oh my god, you guys, this is so bad, you have to see it, and then because misery loves company they copied it to show to their friends. What we have today is copies of copies of copies of copies, like fragments of Sappho only with VHS artefacts instead of holes in the papyrus (and without the artistic vision).

Humans like to preserve remarkable things. Sappho we’ve preserved because it’s remarkably good, but the Star Wars Holiday Special we preserve because it’s remarkably bad. Lucasfilm has tried very hard to stamp it out. George Lucas himself has said that if he could he would gather up every copy that exists and smash them with a sledgehammer… but we won’t let him do it. We keep copying the Special and passing it along, in a way that’s very familiar to MSTies in particular. We’re circulating the tapes! Why this tape in particular?

I don’t claim to know, but my working theory is that it keeps us humble. We are a species that can produce great things when we put our minds to it. We landed on the moon. We eradicated smallpox. We built the Taj Mahal and the Sagrada Familia. We wrote The Romance of the Three Kingdoms and the Einstein Field Equations and the aforementioned works of Sappho. But for all that, we are also capable of throwing the same kind of effort into creating utter disasters – and the Star Wars Holiday Special is the rare example of an unmitigated disaster that didn’t actually hurt anybody. It reminds us to take a step back and look at what we’re doing without getting too invested in it, but does so while being harmless and at times humorous.

Would I still rather watch this than Elves? You bet your shaggy Wookiee ass I would. The Star Wars Holiday Special may be longer, but it doesn’t leave nearly such a bad taste in my mouth.

I will leave you with this: the Special was, as I mentioned, only broadcast once, in 1978 – that means its signal is now forty-one light years from Earth and still going. There are several hundred stars within that bubble, around two dozen of which are known to have planets. Somewhere out there, aliens might be getting their first signal from humanity right now and it’s the Star Wars Holiday Special.

#mst3k #reviews #the star wars holiday special #episodes that never were #holiday reviews #70s

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athingthatwantsvirginia · 4 years

Text

California’s Living Dead

PART TWENTY-ONE OF THE DO YOU SEE HER FACE? SERIES

Pairing: Jess Mariano x Original Character (Ella Stevens)

Warnings: some smoking, a bit more angst here fellas, plentiful pop culture references, the original post of this got deleted somehow so I’m reposting it sorry guys idk anything about tumblr or anything really

Word Count: 4.6K

Summary: Half a year passes for Ella and Jess.

The key zipped back and forth across the chain of Ella’s necklace, clutched in her shaky hands. Cloudy afternoon light shone down on her, gray and gloomy. Cool, humid breezes blew past her, and she knew a thunderstorm was coming. As she trudged into the diner, she made a pointed effort to stare down at her converse. A Sunday afternoon lull left the place less crowded than it would have been were she scheduled for the morning. Instead, she had woken up with a headache and an urge to call Luke’s, but decided against it. She knew Jess wouldn’t be able to hide the cut on his cheek or the bruising on his jaw from his uncle. If anyone picked up, it was bound to be in the middle of an argument, and she didn’t need any more reason to bite her nails until they bled.

Slipping behind the counter, she noticed the way Luke’s eyes widened at the sight of her. As though he hadn’t been expecting her to show up. Salty air hung around them as Caesar fried up some burgers in the back, a sizzling hiss in everyones’ ears. Tying her apron around her hips, she frowned at him and furrowed her brows.

“Something wrong?” she asked flatly.

“Did you know about Jess?” Luke crossed his arms over his chest, tilting his head at her.

Ella shrugged, unsure of whether the cat had yet been fully let out of the bag. “What about him?”

Sighing heavily, Luke brushed past her and gestured for her to follow him into the stock room. Rolling her eyes at his dramatics, she went with him. Apparently it couldn’t just be another day at the office. She wondered in the back of her mind where Jess was, but knew it was more than likely he was off somewhere with his nose back in Dead Souls, or escaping with another shift at Walmart. Biding time before he had to let Luke know what happened.

“I’m not stupid, Ella,” Luke said.

Nodding slowly, Ella bit the inside of her cheek and cast her eyes back down to her shoes. “I know. I know you’re not. Look, I didn’t know about school. He only told me last night, alright?”

“And did he tell you where he was planning on going?”

Immediately, she turned her head up to face him again. “What do you mean?”

“This morning, I got a call from Kyle’s parents, about Jess and Dean tearing up their place-”

“Dean sucker-punched him,” Ella interjected.

Luke rolled his eyes. “Nice excuse. I had to write the kid’s father a check! And Jess didn’t even apologize. Instead, he let me know he’s not graduating, and he’s not going back! And we had an agreement!”

Again, she nodded slowly, fiddling with her necklace. “I know. So...you kicked him out?”

“Not exactly. We hadn’t really talked it out all the way. I went out to get some stock, and an hour later, I come back and he’s just gone!” Luke exclaimed, exasperated.

“What do you mean gone?”

“All his stuff, I mean everything he could fit in that nasty duffel of his, he took it. No message, nothing!” Luke watched Ella’s expression fall and the color drain from her cheeks, and he immediately regretted letting all the information slip out in an angry rant the way he had.

Searching the room to focus on anything but Luke’s face, she shook her head to herself, attempting to conceal the way her stomach began doing anxious flips. No message, nothing. Overnight. Gone. “Well...did you know his dad was here? Would he try to go after him?”

Luke sighed again. “Yeah. I told him not to go near Jess, but-”

“You knew before Jess? You didn’t tell him his dad was here?” Ella interrupted, her voice growing tense.

“Look, Ella, it’s more complicated than that. I saw him here last Wednesday. I found his hotel, told him it’d be better to stay away. The guy’s a nobody-”

“Yeah, well, he’s a nobody Jess has been waiting to meet his whole life!” In all her time knowing Luke, Ella had never yelled at him. Not that he was a stranger to her temper. He’d seen it directed at rude customers, mainly Taylor, many times. But never had he faced the fire in her eyes, or the crestfallen look she had. She swallowed thickly. “Jesus. I mean...last night he seemed upset, but not enough to think his father was worth going after. Fuck!”

Soon, she was mostly speaking to herself, pinching the bridge of her nose. Luke softened his gaze and ran his nervous palms over his flannel. He brought a hand to Ella’s shoulder so she would meet his eyes again.

“Ella, Jess is an adult. He has to make his own choices. I know it’s frustrating-”

She scoffed bitterly. “That’s one word for it.”

“But there’s nothing we can do. We have to just...let him go.”

Teeth clenching down on the inside of her cheek so hard she could taste coppery blood, Ella shook her head again. “Serves me right.”

“Wait here,” Luke said tiredly, disappearing back into the main room.

Confusion painted Ella’s features for more reasons than one. A cold stone of sadness sat heavily in her stomach. It was a fight. A fight she thought they would apologize to each other for eventually, and then get past. She’d truly thought Luke would find a way to let Jess stay, or at least to look after him while he floated around in his new high school dropout reality. Instead, Jess had taken it into his own hands. Cut and run. But she had to give him credit; it was the most decisive move she’d ever seen him make. Worry flooded her mind. Jess was tough, but tough enough to brave the world alone? With a father he knew nothing about? How bad was the guy anyway? Leaving his son when an infant certainly didn’t inspire a lot of confidence in his character. Tears stung in her eyes, but she shook them off as Luke returned.

“He, uh…” Luke began, holding a worn book and a CD out to her, “This had a little sticky note on it. Just said ‘Ella.’ I’m gonna assume they’re yours, I know you guys share...everything.”

As soon as she took them in her hands, Luke left the room, figuring she would need a moment. With the look she had on her face, he doubted she would be back to work for the rest of the day. Her heart skipped when she saw the CD: Turn on the Bright Lights by Interpol. She tried to stop the way her jaw tensed with anger, and her stomach swirled with nostalgia. The book was hers. The last one she had loaned him. She still had one of his Faulkners sitting on her nightstand, halfway finished. Apparently, he wasn’t eager to have it back. Flipping through her beloved copy of To the Lighthouse (she knew it was cliché, but she always considered it Woolf’s best work), she noticed how his notes stopped with only twenty pages left. She was about ready to throw the book across the room, seeing the inconsequential comments and questions he’d written, when she saw a block of his spiky handwriting on the last page:

Eleanor,

I won’t get a chance to finish, but I really liked this. I remember once you told me it was your favorite book of all time, and I have to admit I didn’t think it would live up to the hype. But it did. Lily Briscoe reminds me of you. A badass artist who doesn’t need anyone. I figured you would want this back, since you love it so much.

-Jess

Blowing out a furious breath, Ella blinked back tears for a second time and focused on the anger brewing within her. It was easier than the sadness. She refused to have her heart broken over him. Love didn’t exist. Why be surprised when the universe proves it again and again? Ignoring Luke’s questioning looks, she went out and shoved the CD and book into her bag by the door. The rest of her shift, she spoke in clipped tones and tugged in annoyance at the loose strands of her hair. And Luke decided it was better. They could both be miserable, silently, together.

. . .

A late June morning found Ella back behind the counter, filling coffee cups and twirling around on her sore feet once again. Over the summer, she worked doubles whenever was humanly possible and spent her off nights sketching in the corner table. She tried to keep Jess from her mind, and though it was difficult while spending so much time at Luke’s, a stubbornness in her refused to let her relent. Though Jess was related to Luke by blood, Ella had worked there and been there for so much longer than Jess ever had. Him leaving wasn’t going to destroy her home away from home. She simply wouldn’t let it.

Lorelai and Rory were off on their European backpacking trip, and Lane was toiling away at Bible camp. Pathetic as it was, Ella simply didn’t have anyone to hang out with. She’d always only had a few close friends. Had Jess still been there, she could only imagine what they would spend their time doing. Curled together on his twin bed reading, or arguing about what they were reading, playing cards in her room with Jeff Buckley on the record player, making out to Interpol albums, lunches at the lake, shifts together day in and day out. There had been plans. But she shook them from her brain and got back to work, blowing loose locks away from her face and yelling orders back to Caesar as they came in. Luke was on register, trademark scowl on full display. Soon, he would be away on a cruise with Nicole. Ella hoped it would lift his mood at least a little.

Though, it was a hypocritical thought. She certainly hadn’t been a ray of sunshine the past few weeks, even on her best days, even at graduation. For her speech, she’d read an Anne Sexton poem and connected it to life. She’d looked out at the crowd to see Lane, but not Rory. And not Jess. Her father had cried a little in pride, which surprised her, made her remember the man he had once been. Fiona had cheered and brought her flowers. Adam had smiled and given her a big hug afterwards. But, as much as she tried to revel in the relief and the happiness which surrounded her, there were pieces missing. Big pieces nothing could make up for. Not Jess, even. Her mother. The anniversary of her death had come and gone, and Ella couldn’t believe how long it had been. Time seemed so warped by death. Some days, she felt like she had seen her mother just yesterday. Other days, she thought it odd she had ever had a mother at all. Even Luke and Lorelai had come to watch her speech and cheer her on, but her own mother simply wasn’t there. She’d done her best the whole day to maintain a plastic smile, but that night, she sobbed quietly to Billie Holliday and sketched skeletons.

For just a moment, she took a breath. All the coffees were refilled, the orders were taken. She had no compulsory small talk left to make. She put the pot in the machine and began making a new batch. Leaning against the back counter, she crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. Across the street in the town square, they were setting up for some new, random festival. She could imagine Jess at her side, complaining about all the expensive, meaningless fanfare. A grinch who had been absent at prom, where she stood as a third wheel to Lane and Dave. The phone broke her out of her thoughts, and she went to answer it, but Luke beat her to the receiver.

“Luke’s,” he said flatly. But Ella watched his weary eyes widen in surprise. “Jess? Where are you?”

Instantly, Ella’s heart felt as though it would leap right out of her chest. She went over to stand near Luke, expression questioning. “Is that really Jess?” she asked in a whisper.

He glanced up at her but didn’t answer. “Really? Is he making you pay rent?...Well, be sure to never tell Liz that…”

Ella watched in excruciating anticipation, hearing snippets of the conversation, fragments she couldn’t exactly string together in a narrative. Was it really him? Over a month without a call, and she was beginning to think she would never hear his voice again.

Suddenly, Luke threw another glance Ella’s way, this time anxious. “Yeah, she did…”

“Give me the phone,” Ella said, holding her hand out.

“One second,” Luke muttered, then put his hand over the mouthpiece. “I don’t know if he-”

“I don’t care.” She hadn’t expected grabbing the phone from Luke to be so easy, but perhaps he was too surprised at her sudden movement to resist. Ella paid no mind to the curious eyes of onlookers as she began speaking in hushed, angry tones. “Jess?”

There was a beat of silence.

“I know it’s you, jackass. Where the hell are you?” she demanded.

Jess sighed heavily over the line. “Venice. I’m staying with my dad.”

“Really?” she asked, eyes narrowing. “That guy who walked right out of your life, twice now, without a second thought?”

“Look, Eleanor, it’s-”

“Don’t ‘Eleanor’ me,” she warned, shaking her head. “Actually, y’know what? I don’t care. I don’t give a fuck where you are. All I need you to do is let me know you’re alive. I don’t care how you are, who you’re with, anything. You just need to let me know, every once in a while, that you didn’t starve or end up lying in a ditch somewhere. Be a decent fucking human being, and let the girl with the dead mom know you’re alive.”

“Okay, I-”

“Glad we could sort that out,” she bit out, her tone absolutely venomous. Before he could say anything more, she shoved the phone back into Luke’s hands, and retreated into the stock room. For the rest of the day, Luke let her tear open the cardboard box shipments with an Exacto knife, her face with an ever-present flush as she worked.

. . .

Sat up in bed, Ella sketched the same rose over and over. She was reminded of Georgia O’Keefe, painting her door time and again. Mid-August breeze blew in for her open window, and her back leaned against the purple mural of a goddess she’d taken nearly two months to complete. Her eyes were heavier than they usually would be for eleven o’clock on a Friday. She’d finally completed her first week of classes. And it seemed about as tiring as high school had been. All her classes were interesting, and the radio played some pretty-sounding oldies during her drive back and forth from Hartford, but she was already dreading four more years of drudgery. What was the point of working so hard in high school just to have to go through the whole ordeal again?

Existentialist train of thought aside, she tried to let it fade from her mind, focusing only on her drawing. And the Stevies Nicks record playing. Without realizing it, she sang along with the words in hushed tones under her breath. Her damp waves fell over her shoulder, a comforting smell from her lavender shampoo. She’d wanted to shower in the morning, bright and early before she had to drive to math class. But it was also Adam’s first week of high school, and he’d taken much longer than necessary. Most of the time, they got along pretty well, bonding over a shared inclination towards campy ‘80s movies. But the mornings were an exception to the rule they could always count on. Admittedly, it was often Ella’s own fault. She had the tendency to morph into a grouchy monster right after waking.

She breathed a slow sigh as the phone began to ring, rubbing at her eyes with the heels of her hands. Tossing her sketchbook to the side, she picked it up. “Hello?”

“Hey, Eleanor.” Jess’s voice sounded much the same. It was odd to imagine him all the way across the country, a leather jacket city boy on a hot California beach.

“Still alive, I take it?” she asked.

“No, it’s Night of the Living Dead on the West Coast. Haven’t you seen it on the news?” he quipped.

Rolling her eyes, she let out another small sigh. “Goodbye.”

“Wait, Elle, I know you’re mad-”

She hung up before he could finish the sentence.

. . .

Eighteen years old. She was a legal adult but she didn’t quite believe it. Fiddling with her necklace, she laid on her huge mattress and stared up at the ceiling. There was a yellowed water stain on the popcorned white surface. Once in a blue moon, it would leak. The day brought torrential thunderstorms, perfect for a birthday, and she thought she may have felt a few droplets on her already-wet cheeks.

Fiona was trying; she really was. She always did. She’d made a cake and they’d sung her the song. But it simply wouldn’t be enjoyable until she got out of the house. Celebrating with her family just made her feel like she was in an episode of The Twilight Zone where they’d recast her mother. She was still attempting to make peace with Fiona, though. And if it made her stepmother happy, she was willing to endure an awkward hour of dinner.

She hadn’t allowed herself to start crying until she got in her room, saw the picture of her grandmother holding her mother as a baby in the old frame on her desk. So many dead women. And here she was, always getting older. Pearl Jam spun on the record player, but it did little to lift her spirits. She was examining the set of faux-ruby earrings Fiona and her father had given her, still in their small cardboard box, thinking about how red really wasn’t her color, when the phone ran. Sniffing harshly, she wiped at her cheeks though no one over the receiver would see her.

“Hello?”

“Happy eighteen, Stevens,” Jess’s voice spoke, making her immediately grimace. Almost exactly one year since they’d first kissed. “You go out to legally buy your porn and cigarettes yet?”

“Fuck off, Jess,” she murmured tiredly, shaking her head.

“Look, I just wanted to make sure you were okay, since-”

“Goodbye,” she deadpanned, slamming the phone down and flopping back heavily against her pillows.

. . .

Her history textbook was still open on her desk, and moonlight streamed into her small room. A long evening of studying had seen her call it quits right in the middle of a chapter. She’d collapsed in bed dressed in her jeans and thick sweater, chilled even inside from the October draught. A throb pulsed behind her eyes for what felt like forever before she finally drifted off to sleep. Her eyes were hot inside her skull, achy and dry, when the phone’s ring split through the silence of the night. Clearing her throat, she rolled over in the darkness.

“Hello?” she said groggily.

“Jeez, I thought you laid off the smokes.”

She rolled her eyes at the sound of Jess’s voice, she cleared her throat again and sat up against the mural. “Shut up, jackass, you woke me up.”

“Sorry about that.”

“Still alive?” she asked.

“Seems that way,” he said. It pained her to hear the smirk on his face.

“Well, that’s the goal,” she snarked in a clipped tone before hanging up. As she tried to drift back into dreams, she fiddled with her necklace, tossed and turned.

. . .

She chewed on her eraser, brows furrowed as she read over the same sentence in Paradise Lost for what felt like the millionth time. Mostly, she’d been having fun in her English class. But biblical themes had never been her forté, and a poem which spent so much time recounting the story of Adam and Eve made her want to do nothing but roll her eyes. Her mother had been Christian, though they never went to Church. And she’d heard her father occasionally refer to God or say her mother was in Heaven. But if Ella wasn’t going to believe in luck or love, she certainly wasn’t going to believe in any higher power. None of the religions she’d ever encountered or read about struck her fancy even a little.

The phone rang, and it was almost a welcome break, despite such a sudden interruption. Blinking the dryness from her eyes, she got up from her desk and tucked her hair, falling into her field of vision as she read, behind her ears. She sat cross-legged in the center of her mattress as she picked up, wrapping the phone cord around her fingers absently as she answered.

“Hello?”

“Hi,” Jess answered simply.

She furrowed her brows, glanced over at her small bedside clock. Only four in the afternoon. As much as she wanted to snap angrily and immediately hang up as she had for the past five months, the change in pattern piqued her curiosity too much. And there was something in his voice which felt off to her. “Little early for you, isn't it, Mariano? It should barely be afternoon there.”

“Oh, we’re talking now?” he asked pointedly.

“Gotta keep you on your toes, jackass,” she said, rolling her eyes. “But, fuck it. I’ll go. Leave you to your new dazzling West Coast existence.”

He sighed heavily. “Fine. Sorry. I’m just sick. I thought about going to work but then my Exorcist reenactment got in the way. Something I ate.”

“Hm. California food not exactly up to Connecticut health codes?” she asked.

Jess scoffed. “Like Connecticut can talk. Al’s Pancake World much?”

Ella snorted a chuckle. “Fair enough.” Then, after a moment: “Well, just make sure to drink water. You never drink enough water when you’re sick. Rookie mistake.”

“You’re not exactly one to talk,” he countered.

“What does that mean?” she asked in mock offense.

His tone was joking, but almost nostalgic. “Do you not remember the time you had laryngitis? You tried to come to work! Luke made me drag you upstairs the minute he saw you.”

“I still could’ve been on dish pit or something,” she said defensively. “Besides, that day I finally got you to watch Silence of the Lambs. Not exactly a waste of time.”

“That was a good movie.”

“Good book, too. But the movie was better.”

“Blasphemy!” Jess gasped.

Ella laughed quietly, but was suddenly acutely aware of the distance between them. He wasn’t a two-minute walk away. And she wouldn’t see him on her shift the following day. She cleared her throat awkwardly. “Well, I should go. Gotta finish this section of Paradise Lost.”

“You don’t sound too happy about it,” Jess quipped. She’d said the title in an agitated mutter.

“It’s excruciating.”

“Huh. Thought you’d go crazy for college poetry, even seventeenth-century religious stuff.”

Ella scoffed doubtfully. “Milton couldn’t hold a candle to Dickinson.”

“Strong words,” he said.

“Well, that’s the best kind,” she smirked, then bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself. “Anyway...feel better, Jess.”

“Thanks.”

. . .

Lights of red, green, and yellow flashed outside her window, hanging from the gutters of the small blue house. Icy, crunchy snow caked the Connecticut roads, new flurries coming down in sheets. Joni Mitchell’s “River” crooned from the record player, and Ella was warm beneath her blankets. Pencil in her hand, she underlined and boxed in phrases from her new copy of Adrienne Rich poems. She and Rory, back from Yale, had been to the bookstore the day after Christmas, when everything was marked down to clearance. She missed those lazy days together with her old friends.

Breathing the lavender scent of her candles, she felt content but dreaded the end of the holiday break. Rory would leave again, and Ella would have to go back to the monotony of college life. At least, now, Lane had quit her Christian college upon her mother’s discovery of her secret life. She was looking for a place to live with her band, and Ella was glad she’d have her friend still near her, living on her own terms. Ella didn’t hate Mrs. Kim, but knew Lane would never be truly happy unless she was out from under her mother’s thumb.

The phone sounded over the music, and Ella knew who it would be before she picked it up. Jess had been calling more often lately, ever since he’d gotten over his food poisoning. He told her he’d never eat another piece of sushi again. She didn’t exactly know the reason for the increase. Perhaps he finally got a cell phone, could call her wherever he was. If he had, she could only imagine the struggle it must have been for him. He was definitely on Luke’s side of the handheld phone debate. Somehow, a shift had occurred. Small. But it had happened. Though their conversations weren’t exactly substantive, she felt a little less upset each time they spoke, anger slowly cooling after all their time apart. The pleasant memories were coming back to her more easily, as soon as she let him get a few words in. She still couldn’t help feeling betrayed, but at least he kept up his end of the deal. He barely went more than two weeks anymore without letting her know he was still on the face of the Earth.

She sighed softly. “Hello?”

“Hey, Eleanor,” he said. “Has all the noise, noise, noise finally ceased?”

She shook her head. “Mostly. Luke was in an even worse mood than he usually is on Christmas. The divorce and all.”

Jess snorted a laugh. “My god, I’m glad that whole bizarro thing is over.”

“You haven’t been here. You don’t know the half of it,” she smirked, thinking back to Luke’s odd marriage to his lawyer. The back and forth, to divorce or not to divorce, made everyone who was watching dizzy. She heard Jess inhale sharply, familiar to ear. “Are you smoking?”

“Who are you? Nancy Drew?” he shot back.

“I asked you first.”

“Depends. Have you been biting your nails?”

Ella scoffed self-consciously. “Those two habits are not comparable at all. But touché.” She cast a glance out the window when the branches of the oak tree scraped up against the pane. “Jesus. It won’t stop snowing here.”

“Yeah. Here, too,” he said off-handedly.

Brows furrowing, Ella let a confused chuckle escape her lips. “In Venice Beach? Climate change is hitting pretty hard out there, huh?”

A pause sounded over the receiver, a slight crackling in between them.

“Actually...I’m in New York.”

She hesitated, blinking twice to process the information before she spoke again. “Oh.”

“Yeah. Things uh...things didn’t work out with Jimmy,” he admitted sheepishly.

Blowing out a long breath, she bit the inside of her cheek. “Jesus, Jess, I’m sorry.”

“You can say it.”

“Excuse me?”

“You told me so.”

Shaking her head to herself again, Ella rolled the phone cord in her fingertips. “I’m not gonna say that. I just...I want you to have what you want. I don’t...I don’t want other people to fuck things up for you.”

He chuckled bitterly. “Yeah, well, I think I do a pretty good job of fucking things up on my own.”

“Jess-”

“Look, I gotta go. Work and stuff. So, yeah, still alive,” he said hastily.

“Okay. Just...be safe. Don’t get mugged or kidnapped or anything.”

Jess laughed again softly, more genuine this time. “I’ll try, Stevens. Don’t worry.”

#jess mariano fanfiction #jess mariano au #jess mariano imagine #jess mariano imagines #jess #mariano #jess mariano #gilmore girls fanfiction #gilmore girls au #gilmore girls imagines #gilmore girls #luke danes #jess mariano x oc #jess mariano x original character #original character #original character stories

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laylacooke · 4 years

Text

Chemicals React || Ari & Layla

timing: the night after the wolf pack meeting. parties: @letsbenditlikebennett & @laylacooke summary: Ari & a medicated Layla have a heart-to-heart. ♥

Everything about today had left Ariana feeling frustrated. Not even a run left her feeling better though now she at least felt exhausted enough to melt into the bed. She was done trying to reason with Lucas for the night and it felt like Layla was taking forever to get home. Staring at the ceiling was the only thing she had energy to do. Not even heating up some of the venison stew she’d made sounded appealing. Just sitting here, in mostly silence, while Celeste was working an evening shift and Ulfric was keeping watch outside the trailer. She considered joining him and hanging out for a bit, but she knew she was in a bad mood and didn’t want to take it out on someone who had shown her nothing but support. So she laid lazily in bed, humming along quietly as the Petals for Armor album played over the speakers. She’d smelled Layla before she heard the door to the room click open, but hadn’t moved until she saw her, slowly sitting up on the bed. “Hey,” she said, somewhat awkwardly. After chatting with Simon, she wasn’t really mad anymore, but she still felt kind of sad about the whole thing. She wanted to be someone Layla and the rest of the pack could turn to. Not just someone who was potentially attracting even more hunters to town and overcrowding Ulfric’s trailer.

The drugs in Layla’s system had been the one thing that got her through everything at the hospital, well that and Rio being there. But she had missed Ariana being nearby, because Ari had been the one that made it feel like she could bear the weight of the world. Coming into the room feeling like everything was okay for once, she flipped on the light not even processing that Ariana could’ve been asleep. The ‘hey’ had startled her, “Whoa! You’re totes awake. So not expecting that cause you never texted back, but my phone died, too, which sucks, because I had to walk like miles to get back here. But don’t worry! Everybody’s safe. Not even Rio knows how to get here. I just followed the yellow brick road. Hey.” She was a mess, her eyes were bloodshot from all the crying she had been doing, and her brain was on overdrive while her body just wanted to sleep. “Are you still mad at me? You said you weren’t, but I feel like you are.” She walked over to the bed and fell down onto it face first next to Ari making sure to clear her cast so she could avoid feeling even more pain.

It was hard for Ariana not to laugh at Layla’s rambling greeting. The pain medication was definitely still in effect and she watched as she plopped face first into the bed beside her. It was kind of cute how long winded she was under the influence. If she had much of a filter to begin with, it was entirely gone now. With a light exhale, she said, “I broke my phone earlier. Long story. Okay, not really, I threw it after Lucas sent something to me and well, it shattered. Been getting everything downloaded back on the new one since we got home.” She looked down at her hand now in a cast, “How’s your hand?” As upset as she’d been earlier, it was nice to have Layla home and know she was okay. It hadn’t been long, but she’d gotten kind of used to having her around and they had fun together. At the mention of being mad, Ariana sighed, leaning back down beside her and propping herself up with her elbows. She looked to Layla and explained, “I’m not still mad at you. Really, I’m not. I was… well, I was more hurt than mad but I think I kind of get it now. You’ve been on your own for a while, but I don’t know. We just share a lot and I want to be the person you can come to when you need help, not the internet. That, and I kind of just… worry, you know? Because obviously I’d have to eat someone if they hurt you.”

Layla rolled over onto her back, so she could have a proper conversation with Ariana. “Are you okay? Do I need to go eat him? Because I will eat him, but not tonight, because I’m soooo tired. Plus, my hand is kind of starting to feel all achy again. But the doctor gave me more pills, so I can feel better. Yayyyyyyyy!” Even though she was loopy, Layla could still process what she had done to Ariana. She could still feel the sadness and depression lingering just inside of herself. The pain medicine was a temporary fix, and one that she knew would run out sooner rather than later. Looking over at her friend, Layla stuck her hand in the girl’s face, “Wanna sign it?” But she soon pulled it back and laid it across her stomach as she listened to Ari explain how she felt. It broke Layla’s heart knowing she had done that to her friend, and while she had already piled it on top of everything else, she had least wanted to speak from her own heart, that wasn’t completely numb at the moment, “I’m sorry, Ari. That rhymed.” She paused trying to regain her headspace, “I’m sorry, Ariana. Just after everything that happened, finding out about Salva, and then the meeting wasn’t what I expected...I never meant to hurt you. And I know you’re trying to help. You guys have already done so much, and I was scared that if Ulf found out about my hand that he might kick me out. And I know going online was stupid. I get it, but I’m still a kid, and getting kicked out when you’ve never lived on your own, it’s scary. Like really fucking scary. And I don’t always make the best decisions. I just have so much going on inside, and I don’t know how to deal with it all…”

It was kind of amusing to see Layla acting so goofy. Ariana laughed a bit and assured, “No. No eating Luke. He’s being weird about getting help with the whole security thing to catch this hunter. We argued a little. It’s fine now.” She raised a brow at Layla, “Just don’t take too many now. Glad the hand isn’t hurting as badly now though.” She laughed at the cast waving in her face. There was something very carefree about the action that put her at ease. “Yeah, I’ll sign it in the morning, feeling a little too lazy to go grab a Sharpie.” She turned over onto her side and rested her head on her palm, trying to watch carefully as Layla processed things and spoke. More than anything, she wanted to understand. Maybe it would make it easier to help her and make her believe she really did want to be here for her. She cracked a small smile at the rhyme, “I’m sorry, too. I know you’ve been through a lot and I just want to help and make sure you’re safe.” She quietly listened as Layla explained what was going through her head. It didn’t all make sense to her, but she was trying to peace it together. Why did she think Ulfric would kick her out? She was definitely jumping through a lot of emotions right now. Ariana did her best to keep her own features soft as she nodded along. “I can’t say I get what you’re going through, but I’m here anyway. What happened with Salva anyway? He’s the one who turned you? He seems like a huge dick, honestly. And Ulf isn’t going to kick you out because you hurt your hand. Seriously, I know he’s like a huge dude, but he’s pretty cool about things. I literally broke into a mime restaurant while there were murder mimes and I’m still here. I know it’s a lot, but try to remember you’re not alone. You’ve been having to fend for yourself for a while through all this and you don’t have to anymore. You have us and we want to be here for you, if you’ll let us.”

Layla tried to focus on Ariana’s words, but the medicine was making it hard, and before she realized it, she was on her side staring intensely at the girl laying in front of her. When Ari had finished speaking, the red-head slowly started to formulate thoughts in her head knowing they were having a serious conversation, even though she wanted to do anything but that at the moment, “You have, like, such pretty fur…” Shutting her eyes tightly, she spoke to herself, “Focus, Layla. Focus…” Replaying the convo in her head, she opened her eyes again, “I want that, too. It’s just so hard to let my guard down, when I’ve lived like this for almost a year, and some really scary shit happened while I was on my own.” She sighed, Salva coming to mind, “Ugh, that grimey bastard. He’s basically my wolf daddy. But it’s okay cause I broke his fucking nose, and I would gladly do it again in a heartbeat, because he’s the one that made me what I am. And like no offense to you or any of your wolf friends, because I know like being a wolf is everything, but I was born a human, and I miss being a human, and I miss my friends...I miss Frankie...I miss the way she would hold me and tell me she loved me and the way she would...the way s-she would…” Looking into Ari’s eyes, she could see the kindness and the softness in the way she looked at Layla. Without thinking, the young wolf raised up onto her arm, leaned forward, and planted a soft kiss on Ari’s lips, before pulling back. Realizing what she had done, she quickly rolled back onto her back and stared at the ceiling in silence.

It was hard not to giggle a bit at the mention of pretty fur. Ariana shook her head and realized she was staring at her a bit intensely. She slyly answered, “You know, when we’re not wolves, you can just call it hair.” Maybe this wasn’t the best time to be having this talk. It seemed like Layla could hardly focus on her words so she just sighed lightly, watching her. More than anything, she was just happy her friend was okay. She listened, trying to further understand, sleepily nodding along, “I get that it’s hard for you to let your guard down, but I promise if you need help, I’ll always be here for you. Even if I’m mad or it’s not easy, we’re family now, okay?” She gave her long red hair a gentle pet and tucked her arms back under her own head. When she mentioned what happened with Salva, she felt herself tense up. She knew she didn’t like that dude. She continued to listen and as she was ready to say something along the lines Salva is an asshole and she understood missing her old life, she was surprised to feel Layla’s lips pressing against hers. For a moment she froze, unsure of how missing Frankie translated into… well, that. Her cheeks were bright pink and her face felt flushed as she stared up at the ceiling. She hadn’t hated the fact that Layla kissed her, it just left her feeling confused. It was probably just a being high on pain meds thing. They were friends and she missed her girlfriend. Or maybe- She cut the thought of anything more than that off. Sure, Layla was gorgeous and they had a lot in common, but her friend had a lot to figure out still. They both laid there staring up at the ceiling before she finally said, “Yeah, I get that. Salva’s an ass. It’s getting late, though. We can talk more tomorrow.” Her eyes were still looking straight up at the ceiling, still nervous to look back over at Layla.

Stupid, Layla. Stupid. Stupid. It was sobering, yet she found herself wanting to kiss Ariana again. Maybe it was the lack of human touch or maybe it was the medicine. Whatever it was, she secretly enjoyed it, but had Ari? It was wrong. She knew it was wrong, but considering she had said her goodbyes to Frankie, she wasn’t sure what her future held. However, she couldn’t bring herself to look back over at the other girl, “Uh, yeah. I think that’d probably be for the best. You know, when I’m not high on pain medicine.” A small smile slipped across her lips. She would forever be curious about what her friend had felt, but there was always the chance Layla would feel different come morning, if she could even remember. Okay, yeah. She’d remember that. And she’d be willing to accept the consequences of her actions tomorrow, but tonight, she was just going to enjoy it and enjoy not really having to think or feel the heartbreak she had been living in.

#p: chemicals react #letsbenditlikebennett #wickedswriting #medical drug tw

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thestupidhelmet · 6 years

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Hi, I love your insight on Hyde and Jackie and I was wondering if you could analyze their whole date on JBH cause I don’t buy that they didn’t feel anything in that kiss (mostly Hyde, the way he rubbed his lips and he was really hesitating) and I want to understand what happened

Hi, and thank you!

I’ve written about “Jackie Bags Hyde” (3x08) a lot – in metas, in Those ‘70s Comics, and in fanfic. But it’s a key Jackie and Hyde episode, which reveals to us and to Hyde that he’s developed romantic feelings for Jackie and effectively ends their relationship development until “Going to California” (5x01).

The writers were clearly going for irony. After months of pursuing an uncooperative Hyde for his attention, friendship, and eventually romantic interest, Hyde’s the one who ends up with genuine feelings for her while her “fantasy feelings” fall away in the face of finally getting what she wants. I don’t think season 3′s showrunners or the episode’s writer, Dave Schiff, believed this thread would ever be picked up again, despite Hyde’s reaction to the kiss.

In-universe, Hyde obviously realizes he has romantic feelings for Jackie in “Jackie Bags Hyde”. His jealousy is evident when Jackie brings Chip to the Formans’ barbecue, as is his protectiveness toward her. He’s confused by his reaction to Chip calling Jackie a bitch, and one of my favorite parts of that scene is that Hyde glances at Jackie right before he slugs Chip. She’s talking to someone and smiling. In a split-second, all of Hyde’s positive perspective about her must have surfaced, standing in stark contrast to how disrespectful Chip spoke about her moments ago.

Chip seems to view Jackie as less than human, as just a “bitch” who exists only for his sexual pleasure. Although Jackie’s tendency to talk a lot does annoy Hyde – and he shares a laugh over that tendency with Chip – he’s experienced a lot more of her personality than that since “Prom Night” (1x19). Hyde shares laughs about pretty much all the series’ main characters’ foibles (except Donna’s) with his friends and the Formans. And relieving some tension about his recent experiences with Jackie makes character sense. But Chip’s dehumanizing attitude about her trips a wire inside Hyde’s brain.

At the very least, Hyde is loyal to Jackie. He gets into a brawl with the guy who knocks Eric unconscious in “Grandma’s Dead” (1x23) to defends Eric’s honor. But once Jackie claims, “I am the bitch, and you love me!” he doesn’t deny that. What he tells her with his, “Stop staring at me. Quit it! I’m not this guy. Oh, God,” is to stop idolizing him and viewing him as her knight in shining armor, that he’s no hero.

Right after this incident, however, he’s angry and confused and goes inside the Formans’ house to get away from what just happened. But Kitty, who witnessed it, calls Jackie his girlfriend. Hyde denies it, listing reasons why he doesn’t like her. His denial is crumbling but barely. He’s trying to convince himself why he doesn’t have romantic feelings for her. Kitty isn’t convinced, though, and then we get the line that epitomizes his confusion:

“No! How could I like her? Because I don’t like her! Because I can’t like her!”

The word can’t is the key. It’s like in Star Wars when Darth Vader says to Luke about being his father, “Search your feelings. You know it to be true,” and Luke screams, “No! Nooooooo!”

When Kitty confirms – again – that she believes Hyde has romantic feelings for Jackie, he trusts her opinion enough to test the theory. He doesn’t know how he feels because his mind and heart are in conflict. But punching Chip, going to jail for Jackie, teaching Jackie his main defense mechanism (i.e. his version of being Zen) – which essentially makes him vulnerable to her – all adds up to an equation he doesn’t know how to solve without going on a “freakin’ date” with Jackie.

As for the date, what we see of it begins with Jackie showing Hyde she doesn’t have to talk non-stop.

Jackie: This is the best date ever. Hyde: Jackie, we haven’t talked in thirty minutes.

This moment is very significant. The laugh Hyde had shared with Chip was over Jackie being a chatterbox. But Jackie’s just proven that not only can she not be a chatterbox, but she can also enjoy simply spending quiet time with someone (in nature, to boot). It’s no coincidence that this is our first glimpse into their first romantic outing, considering Chip’s disrespect with Jackie began with his complaints about her talking.

Afterward, Jackie demonstrates her awareness about his childhood wounding and offers him compassion for it. It’s too much for him to take. She hits too close to the mark, and he just doesn’t want to go there with her – or with anyone. So he makes fun of her insight as a way to invalidate it and as a way of deflecting the truth, the latter of which is one of his main self-defense mechanisms.

Jackie feels insulted, frustrated, and, perhaps, embarrassed by his reaction. She made herself vulnerable by reaching out to him, and he shut her out through light ridicule. This finally gets through her fantasies of who he is, unlike all his directly expressed rejections and nos and attempts to put up his boundaries. She hops off her dad’s Lincoln and says, fed up, “Let’s go home!”

The date is over, as far as she’s concerned. She also likely believes her romantic pursuit of him is over. But to quote him from season 5, he’s “liking her more and more” as their date progresses. Even though he doesn’t yet have the emotional wherewithal to confront and grieve the childhood wounding she identified, he’s enjoying her company. He’s enjoying learning more of who Jackie is outside of his long-held assumptions.

Hyde: Oh, come on. I’m kidding! No, this is, this is all right. We can hang out here for a while, okay? God…

He doesn’t want the date to end yet. He’s frustrated, as well, that she’s so hurt by his deflection. He’s only seventeen, and he’s also not the most emotionally aware person – as this episode has demonstrated thus far. But he has potential for his emotional awareness to grow, as this episode also demonstrates. Ideally, if their romantic relationship had begun with this date, he would’ve apologized (sooner rather than later) for that raspberry and (probably later) admitted she was spot-on in her analysis of him.

Jackie receives the message that Hyde wants the date to continue, that he wants to spend time with her, and she rejoins him on the trunk of her dad’s car. He offers her “some of his pop,” which is more like the “sweetest, coolest” Hyde she’s experienced (side note: him offering Jackie his soda stands in stark contrast to him being totally socially inept during his time with Melissa in “Hyde Gets the Girl” [4x04]).

She moves closer to him and puts his arm around her shoulders. He doesn’t fight it. He accepts it reluctantly, which is a huge change and huge signal to her. In “Reefer Madness” (3x01), she forces her touch on him in ways he doesn’t want and fights off (e.g., holding her hand with laced fingers, hugging him from behind, etc.) Despite that his discomfort is visible on his face, he doesn’t withdraw from her. He tries out how physical (not sexual) intimacy feels with her.

Time passes. We aren’t told how much. But Jackie and Hyde are now sitting on the hood of the Lincoln. The car’s front doors are open, and the radio’s on, tuned to a station playing romantic music. Hyde’s denim jacket covers Jackie’s shoulders, and we have no idea what happened between them moving from the car’s trunk to its hood.

We can, however, infer what might’ve happened. Hyde asks if she wants to put some music on. She says, “Sure,” and tells him what station to put on. He’s not too happy about her choice, but he tunes it to her preference anyway. She asks him to dance. He’s already sat with his arm around her shoulders, so he figures, “What the hell?” They share a dance, which leads them to the hood of the car.

They hop up onto the hood, and she’s shivering. Without a word, he puts his denim jacket around her shoulders, and they share some more silent stargazing time.

Then we get to the next on-screen part of their date.

Jackie announces (for the audience) that her and Hyde’s first date is almost over, and she asks what Hyde thinks of it. He says, “It was no worse than bowling.” She’s confused by his answer, so he clarifies: “I don’t hate bowling.”

The word hate is the key. In the earlier scene with Kitty, Hyde says Jackie is everything he hates. Kitty says, “But, Steven, you hate everything.” This episode is full of plants (i.e.foreshadowing) and payoffs. Hyde, who supposedly “hates everything” says he doesn’t hate bowling and says the date with Jackie is no worse than an activity he doesn’t hate. This is his roundabout, deflecting way of saying he’s enjoying himself.

On his date.

With Jackie.

Hyde is a character who is mostly subtext (which is a big reason I love writing him in fanfic). Earlier in the episode, Jackie proves she can read between his lines – specifically when she correctly assesses the not-so-aloof tone that accompanies his aloof words about dating Chip as indicating jealousy.

Hyde’s in trouble, all right. For someone who uses aloofness and deflection as a defense mechanism, he shouldn’t have taught Jackie this fact about himself directly and indirectly.

Jackie and Hyde go in for a kiss at the same time, and it’s much more than a peck. But Jackie withdraws, surprised that she didn’t feel anything emotionally. Physically, the kiss is “hot,” but she isn’t emotionally engaged. If Jackie and Hyde’s sexual / romantic relationship hadn’t begun in earnest the summer between season 4 and season 5 (and on-screen in “Going to California” [5x01]), we’d have to accept her reaction at face value. As I stated above, the episode’s conclusion was written for irony. But within the whole context of the series and their relationship, one can reasonably interpret subtext into her response.

Personally, I believe Jackie is scared of how kissing Hyde makes her feel. Throughout the date, she becomes clear-eyed about Hyde not being a fantasy hero who will weep at her insight but a real person. Someone who might disappoint her. Who will need patience and persistence to break through his emotional barriers. Basically, she isn’t ready for a complex relationship that could potentially break through her own emotional barriers and allow her to connect to someone that intimately (not to mention the amount of work such relationship requires from both partners).

Hyde’s reaction to the kiss and to Jackie’s reaction to the kiss is easy to interpret.

Jackie: Huh. Okay, I didn’t feel anything. Hyde: Nothing?

He’s surprised and confused that she has no romantic feelings for him – especially since she claimed the opposite for so long, said she loved him, and claimed she and Hyde were “in love” to her their friends.

Jackie: No, I mean the kiss was hot, but … well, did you feel something?Hyde: Uh … no.Well? … No.

His, “Uh…” indicates he’s thinking about whether or not to answer truthfully. The expression on his face also shows how confused he is by her response and how conflicted he is about telling her the truth. He’s Mr. Deflect-the-Truth, after all. And if Jackie feels nothing romantic/emotional for him, there’s no way in hell he’s going to admit that he does.

But he almost does. His, “Well?” is a moment of doubt about not revealing his feelings. He ultimately decides, however, the safer choice is to lie, so he says, “No,” again, this time more definitively.

As Jackie glances down, sad about the fact her potential new romance is dead in the water, Hyde touches his lips and is in a world of hurt and disappointment he hadn’t expected. He’s clearly unhappy with the outcome of the date. He’s realized he has romantic feelings for Jackie, only for her not to reciprocate them. It reminds me of the following lyric in Mother Love Bone’s Song “Crown of Thorns”.

I want to tell you that I love you / But does it really matter?

He can’t force Jackie to feel differently, just as she couldn’t force him to fall in love with her. He started doing that on his own. This is also not the Hyde of season 1 (before “Prom Night”) who forced himself on Donna despite her repeated nos and rejection of his romantic advances.

Jackie: So I guess that’s it, then. Turns out you were right about us all along.

This line makes the subtext of irony text. Hyde’s now left with romantic feelings that the consequences of Jackie’s pursuit of him inspired (by consequences, I mean her pursuit forced / allowed him to experience more of who Jackie truly is than simply Kelso’s obnoxious, snobby, and controlling girlfriend).

Hyde: Yep.Jackie: So what happens now? Hyde: I’m not opposed to doing it.

Hyde’s already decided to hide the truth of his feelings from her, but he reveals them to us through his joke: “I’m not opposed to doing it.” Hyde – who supposedly hated Jackie, who couldn’t stand her, who didn’t want her to kiss him in “Kelso’s Serenade” (2x21) because he doesn’t like her and finds her abrasive – said he wouldn’t be opposed to having sex with her.

Because a girl being “hot” isn’t enough for him. Just like their kiss being hot isn’t enough for her. He needs to attracted to a girl’s personality to want to engage with her sexually. And he’s now told us he likes Jackie’s personality enough to have a physical relationship with her.

Yes, it’s all very twisty-turny, but that’s Hyde’s psychology.

Jackie doesn’t take his statement seriously, though. Smiling, amused and a little disturbed, she calls him a pig and tells him to take her home. He smiles back and says, “Yes, dear,” and guides her into the car.

This final interaction between them in the episode is very similar in tone to their season 4 relationship. He doesn’t so much burn her as tease her, and they seem much more comfortable with each other, in general. For more on that, please read this meta I wrote about their season 4 relationship.

I wrote a fanfic exploring what might’ve happened if Hyde had made a different choice during this episode.

One Difference: Hyde Doesn’t Lie [FFnet / AO3]

Summary: Hyde tells Jackie the truth about their Veteran’s Day kiss, but his choice alters their relationship — and the lives around them.

Rated: T

#That 70s Show #That '70s Show #Jackie x Hyde #Jackie Burkhart #Steven Hyde #My Meta #My Essay #Meta #Essay #Ask #Anon #Jackie Bags Hyde #3x08

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smoochcal · 5 years

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numb without you (part eleven)

a/n: hello again! I definitely did not want to be creative and give the roommate a name so just know that RM/N is calum’s roommate smh. please give me feedback in any way shape or form you have it in my inbox :) suggestions are always welcome with all my writing but especially with this series!! I hope you guys are enjoying it so far and as always thank you to miss el for being my main inspiration for this entire writing work. if we could get this update to 20 notes that would be rad!! (part ten here)

pairing: readerxluke

word count: 1.7k

playlist: numb without you by the maine, piece of your heart by mayday parade

summary: Luke is fed up with the secrets and lies that Calum is giving him, the three of you have dinner together

rating: PG-13

warnings: swearing, secrecy

Y/N’s POV:

The three of you made your way back to your apartment after the appointment was finished. You swear you couldn’t stop smiling after you found out the news, and it’s true you have not stopped smiling for the past hour. You were so incredibly happy right now and you could not think of a single thing that could change your mood. You and the baby are both incredibly healthy and everything is going the way it should.

Once you all get back to the apartment, Luke and Calum decide the three of you need dinner. They both offer to go pick up some pizza. You make sure they get your favorite kind, cheese with extra cheese. Luke mentioned that any other kind of pizza would be gross, a jab at Calum for ordering something other than what the two of you were planning to eat. You mess with the necklace carefully placed around your neck as the two of them bicker about who knows what at this point. Luke got you this necklace for the first birthday you celebrated with him. It has a little butterfly charm on it and it has to be one of your favorite things that you own.

Before you know it the two of them are walking out of your front door and getting in the car to go pick up the pizza, they both insisted on having for dinner.

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Luke’s POV:

You cannot believe the bullshit Calum is pulling right now. The two of you have been fighting practically since he showed up late to Y/N’s doctor’s appointment. After finding out about his whole roommate lover whatever situation, you really could not put up with his bullshit anymore. How can he even begin to care about Y/N and his own child if he’s too busy trying to fuck his roommate? Why did he even have a roommate? You definitely know he does not need someone else to help him pay rent, so this whole having a female roommate thing has to be something he has up his sleeve.

You did not get to say much to him last night when you found out about his roommate, mainly because he forced you out of his house the minute he realized you had met her. It’s not necessarily your fault that you found out about RM/N. You just stopped by to talk to Calum considering the two of you haven’t really talked much without Y/N being there. You have so many questions regarding this rather odd situation, and it was honestly hard to figure out a place to start. He was driving to the pizza place which was about a 25-minute drive from Y/N’s place. You had the time now, so you decided to ask him a couple questions about the whole situation as calmly as you could.

“So…what’s the deal with the whole roommate thing?” you ask Calum in the most nonchalant way possible.

Calum sighs with his eyes still glued to the road in front of him which you don’t know if he is doing this because he is driving or because he truly just does not want to look at you right now. He takes his time with answering your question. You know that there had to be some reason why he was keeping her from everybody. As far as you knew, literally no one knew about RM/N until you happened to stop by his house the one time he wasn’t home and she happened to answer the door. You feel kind of intrusive for being so blunt about the situation, but you did not have the time nor the energy to dance around this any longer. You were truly trying to understand where Calum was coming from with all of this and you wanted to make sure that Y/N and their kid would not be hurt in the process. Some song by Mayday Parade which you vaguely recognize was filling the empty space in the car and the silence made before Calum finally opens his mouth in order to talk to you about what exactly is going on.

“…I didn’t mean for her to get in the way of anything. I know it was probably wrong of me to keep RM/N away from you and the guys and Y/N and basically everyone in my life I just didn’t know what to do about the situation quite yet and I was hoping if I waited a little bit longer I would give myself some time to figure it out. You want me to start from the beginning?” Calum asks, glancing over at you for a nod of approval, which you give him.

“Basically, I was deep into the darkness that is the internet and I came across an ad for this girl looking for a place to live. Normally I would just scroll past something like that considering I definitely don’t need someone to help me with rent or anything like that…but then I read more of the description of her and saw her picture and got to thinking that I would need someone to watch Duke whenever we do promo and eventually go back on tour and why would I hire a stranger to come and watch my house while I was gone for months at a time when I could just have a roommate who would do that for me anyway because it was also their house and Duke already knew them…” he eventually trails off long enough for you to question exactly what he was trying to get at.

“So, you’re telling me that you found RM/N on a random Craig’s list ad and decided based off her picture and short description that she wrote about herself ALONE was the reason you decided you needed a roommate AND decided it needed to be her?” you conclude, looking at Calum skeptically.

“Dude, I know where you are going with this…and please just give me a break I know it’s weird, can we just get over that part? She lives with me now and I need to know what the fuck to do about it before you go blabbing to Y/N all about my home life that she doesn’t know about…” Calum responds, obviously concerned with what you are going to do with this information now that you have it.

You shake your head before ultimately responding in a somewhat decent way that would please Calum for the time being, “Fine, but don’t think that you are going to get off the hook that easily with all of this…especially that bullshit you pulled earlier with being almost twenty minutes late to the most important doctor’s appointment so far…like you are so incredibly lucky that the doctor herself was running behind with her appointments for the day because if everything was on time you would’ve missed the whole thing. What were you even doing that caused you to be so late?”

“I…uh…was writing a song…” Calum mumbles as he continues to stare ahead at the road in front of him, obviously avoid any and all eye contact with you to show what you had already confirmed.

“Well that’s a lie if I’ve ever heard one…what were you fucking your roommate or something?” you question, raising an eyebrow at your friend.

“No…never…why would you think…” Calum replies but doesn’t completely finish what he was saying as you could see a small blush appear on his cheeks. He was still avoiding eye contact with you, but this time for an entirely different reason.

Before you could interrogate him further on his romantic endeavors with RM/N, the two of you have finally arrived at Y/N’s favorite pizza place. His timing could not have been better as you were forced to hop out of the car to pick up the handful of pizzas you ordered for dinner for the three of you to share back at Y/N’s place. He may have gotten some time to collect his thoughts, but you would definitely be grilling him more about the situation and what exactly the two of you were going to tell Y/N after she finished her dinner. She deserved to know what’s going on with Calum, not only because he is the father of her unborn child but also because if anything comes of this roommate thing then there is another person that will soon join your group that is planning on raising this baby.

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Y/N’s POV:

The boys were back after about an hour of leaving you on your own to do whatever you needed to do. While they were gone, you tidied up the place since you had kind of dropped the ball on keeping your apartment clean over the past couple weeks. You also spent some time browsing a couple maternity clothes websites before getting frustrated with it all and deciding that you would hit the mall sometime next week to get some new clothes that would actually fit you and your ever-growing baby bump. Your mom called about thirty minutes after Luke and Calum left to pick up dinner and you got to tell her the exciting news that she is going to have a granddaughter in about five months.

The three of you ate your pizza in almost complete silence. You did not know what was going on between Luke and Calum, but you were honestly getting sick of the secrecy. You finished the last slice that you could stomach and start to put away the leftovers while you waited for the boys to finish their food. Once everyone was done eating, you sat down on the couch and demanded for both of them to spill the beans on whatever they were so blatantly hiding from you.

“Do you want the short version or the long version?” Calum inquires with a sigh.

“The short version,” you say, being pretty short tempered yourself.

“Calum has a female roommate that he has been hiding from us for the past four months,” Luke states with a slight smirk in his tone.

~To be continued…~

#numb without you #jules writes #smoochcal #luke #Luke Hemmings #Luke blurb #Luke series #calum #calum hood #5sos

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