#anyway its probably also the depression
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
28.6 is the average number of monthly visits per US mobile user.
Text
SAGESUNE MIKU >:DDD
#i rise from the dead once again!!#sorry about the long periods of time in between me posting#school is absolutely kicking my ass right now and i havent had any time to draw the creatures :(#ive also just been feeling unsatisfied with my art as of late#its probably just too much time online looking at other peoples art making me feel bad about myself#even though im improving as fast as i can it doesnt feel like im getting any better#but i know from experience that that feeling doesnt go away with time#so i guess ill always see flaws in my art no matter how hard i try to get better#man. that got really depressing :/#anyways SAGE!!! i love her she is my favorite of all time and im going to draw her so much yall dont even KNOW :D#ive got tons of other stuff planned too so watch out >:3#i could hit you guys with 6 paragraphs of au lore any day now#sonic the hedgehog#sage robotnik#AWWWHHHGG SHE HAS HER OWN LITTLE TAG IM SOBBING#anyways#sage sonic#hatsune miku#i guess#whoof im scared to post this#or maybe im just exhausted#probably both :/
489 notes
·
View notes
Text
sorry just got reminded of the entirety of uncanny x-men #309 and how it's charles having a therapy session with himself about his love life and desires and how he kept sacrificing himself and his wants for The Cause and the whole time he imagines erik to represent his innermost thoughts in the form of a therapist to have him unravel all this
#snap chats#i was going to read the fic i had saved and i remember the angel who recc'd it to me mentioned this issue#and bruh .......... //screams//#there's an onslaught joke in here somewhere but i aint diggin for it it's 3AM and im goin to the mall with my bro later#this is brought on by scott and jean recently announcing their plans to be married and charles gets I-Refuse-To-Admit-It jealous#this is such a depressing issue and that's probably why i love it. there is a happy ending tho so that def lightens the load jaELKVEJKA#ironically @ my last ask this issue also tackles charles' issues with feelin loved only this time its more concretely in the romantic sense#which. very interesting to use erik as your 'therapist' there charlie.......#anyway usin erik is wild but i get it makes perfect non-ship sense in context but anything can be ship related if youre ill.... like me ...#but no genuinely it's an interesting issue.. i fear i'll have to buy it so i can look at it every day and throw up#not neglecting the opening is charles realizing erik saved him from a snowstorm (unlimited x-men number 1 1993)... ofc.....#UGH FUCK now i gotta get THAT issue too.... sorry im building a cherik library i guess i just love the angst so much <- im deranged#any time theres mentions of charles' suppressing his wants or just suppressing anything in general i go insane its my favorite thing Sorry#ok ima go read that fic now. after i bookmark a listing of uncanny xmen 309 vejarVERVJEAJ bye
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
This meme been hauting my mind for a while now, so I'm gonna release it here.
#pokemon horizons#pokemon amethio#pokemon dot#pokemon liko#pokemon roy#anipoke#I personally believe that both Ame and Liko have Autism its just Liko was diagnosed since childhood and Amethio was ignored-#Also Roy probably has ADHD and Dot has Depression#But I'm not really sure about it tbh#Anyway- Mentally ill kids go#I am a shame to my society /proudly#My insomniac decisions
53 notes
·
View notes
Text
x
#silv rambles#so my dad has convinced his lawyers that hes got capacity and has revoked the PoA and Enduring Guardianship that i never wanted to be#ahh i am so glad to be free#the anxiety and depression i have felt especially since last june#is almost unexplainable#i did this for my sister I who really put herself through SO much trying to help this man who is selfish beyond measure & always has been#she tries to give him grace for the Huntington's but the truth is hes always been manipulating and self centred#hes stolen the last months of my mum he stole my recovery from cancer he stole our grieving period and he caused me to start having#panic attacks again and opened up trauma from csa (not him) that i had long dealt with by raising it without preface or warning#anyway#he wanted us removed as he has changed his mind and realised he'll be better off if he doesn't divorce his wife#and we are concerned that he doesn't understand the full impact of this#but hes been found to have enough capacity to make some choices so hes appointed her son- his step son- who he says will be impartial#lmao#anyway anyway#its all ao long and HORRIBLE and boring#but hes made his choices and wr are free#and i hope my sister I geta some peace#and i think all of us (my three sisters and I) can grieve mama and start to live with joy how she wants#and tomorrow im going to the ladies baths to swim in the ocean and then ill do some gardening and then#I don't know#finish my weaving#finish my seamus fic#who fucking knows#but i won't have yo be replying to messages berating me for something I never did in the first place or demanding i do something immediately#while also telling me i am stupid as im dyslexic and probably don't understand what he wants#etc etc#i want to write a proper post about this but i just need to get this out of me for now
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have an unending hatred for those microwave dinners like why are the bbq ones the only ones that taste like anything
"spaghetti and meatballs" oh you mean starch noodles with tomato water and flavorless pieces of meat?
#AND THEN I END UP EATING MICROWAVE CHICKEN TENDERS FOR THE MILLIONS TIME IN A ROW#I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO COOK. WHY DID THE ENTIRE KITCHEN HAVE TO NEED AN EMERGENCY REMODEL. WHY ARE WE SO OVERBOOKED THAT ITS NOT DONE YET.#IVE HAD NO KITCHEN SINCE APRIL FOOLS DAY. THATS 6 MONTHS. HALF A YEAR WITH NO KITCHEN. HALF A YEAR WITH FLAVORLESS MICROWAVE FOOD#LIKE YEAH ID PROBABLY STILL END UP EATING A LOT OF MICROWAVED STUFF CAUSE OF LIKE. DEPRESSION AND ALL THAT BUT I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE CHOICE!#AND WHEN I USED TO HAVE A KITCHEN I COULD ALSO ASK OME OF MY SISTERS TO COOK FOR ME BC ONE OF THEM ACTUALLY ENJOYS DOING THAT FOR PEOPLE#AND THE OTHER ONE IS JUST NICE TO ME WHEN SHE KNOWS IM TIRED. GOD I LOVE MY SISTERS. GOD I HATE HAVING NO KITCHEN.#AND I KNOW ITS NOT GONNA BE FIXED WITHIN THIS YEAR. AS MUCH AD MY DAD SAYS HES GONNA TRY TO I KNOW WE'RE GONNA KEEP BEING OVERBOOKED#AND EVEN WORSE! THE KITCHEN ISN'T THE ONLY ROOM MISSING! HALF THE HOUSE IS STORAGE RN FOR ALL THE STUFF THAT WAS KEPT IN THE KITCHEN!#PLUS THE ELECTRICAL IS BEING REDONE SO THERES LIKE MAYBE 3 WORKING OUTLETS IN THE WHOLE DAMN HOUSE. NONE OF WHICH ARE IN MY ROOM#hhhhhh anyways yeah sorry for the random rant i should probably put my ooc tag#ohio breaks the 4th wall#but ohio would probably also not like microwave dinners#rant
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
tbh i love that that ask game ended up being like a rundown of the most concerning dragons florabrisa has to offer dfsgsdf
top 10 dragons in florabrisa to worry about for various reasons: 1. Marglobe (Mirror who only eats tomatoes) 2. Ghiaccia (explosive alchemist banned from nature flight) 3. Pogonip (very fast and reckless flier with sharp horns) 4. Yazeena (severe alcoholic, very burned out) 5. Paragon (an alcoholic jerk) 6. Falcata (a depressed jerk) 7. Macaroon (vegetatian Coatl, but takes better care of herself than Marglobe) 8. Xana and Iolite (hoarding highly illegal and experimental tech, hiding from the Lightning Police) 9. Dardo and Uluru (thieves with high profile victims, hiding from the Wind Police. in Wind.) 10. Jovial i guess. just a 28 year old who's still very immature and does stupid stuff dfgsg he's a bad influence on Squeak :c
#probably not quite the right order tbh but i think its reads the best. shoutout to clash too. shes fine but her childhood was a Lot dfgsf#tw alchoholism#tw depression#florabrisa#pheel talk#also omg baileya is on the run from lightning police too. but they're not actually in florabrisa so they cant count.#their being caught wouldnt have any consequences on the clan anyway. unlike 8 and 9 over there dfgsfd#also omg i just remembered pibb. she came up for one of the asks too. shes mostly fine though tbh dfgsdfg b'elanna too for that matter
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I keep trying to write an update and then being embarrassed about it and feeling like I’m trauma dumping on people by updating and I just..I know it’s on me to manage my crap, I know. I am trying (not very well but I’m trying) and it’s just…I don’t know. I don’t even know.
#please know i have thought about hospital but hospital would#genuinely make it worse (like I cannot even tell you how much worse)#i think I’m legitimately just…having a trauma reaction on top#of a jewish trauma spike#and dentists and having to move (I may have cleaned till I shook today also my arm#does not look great#i feel like i don’t actually verbally have the words#(i have tried not engaging i have tried engaging they both feel awful)#(hashem i don’t know would you even embrace me would you…)#(it’s not a meds thing (I take meds for mdd and I know what that looks like and this isn’t it)#(it’s hard to explain the difference between CPTSD and like a panic attack or a depression)#(except that I feel like I’m so so tainted and not in my body or if I’m in my body I’m in my body somewhere else#abuse cw#i didn’t ask for this cptsd and no tshirt was offered#this will disappear probably#UGH#(i am seeing my therapist tomorrow i just..i know i need to reach out to)#(to like my current landlords and ask if I could just pay for a cleaning service to come in)#(i know i need to be like ‘unfortunately my CPTSD is Fucking Terrible Right Now and I need)#(just a bit of grace apologies)#(i do not want my parents to know i do not want that)#(aside from the fact that I am already a burden to them anyway)#a stupid flop of a person i am crying thinking about how i had plans for kids and a wife and travel and…I’m nothing#(everyone else is something I’m not I don’t deserve grace lbr)#it keeps running through my head how many people i thought loved me want me dead#and it’s like I can fake it so well#(i don’t know I may be like sending words to people)#to run through the steps of not being alone#i’m truly sorry i am always not taking accountability and playing the victim and clinging to people#to get reassurance i don’t deserve that its a good person it isn’t it isn’t a person
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
I wonder how many "hi I'm not dead" posts I've accumulated over the years
Having another mini burn out again where I want all my character hyperfixtions back but the engine is exhausted
Blehh
I need new media to consume
#also hormone medication is kicking my ass#depression is also kicking my ass#realizing some things about what i want in life and relationships and how i probably deserve to be treated and its hard#anyway#maybe i should try some short stories or something with new or adjacent characters#idk#ramblecroft
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
— Emperor Charles VI's diary entry on Count Althann's death
[text: "My only heart, my comfort, my most faithful servant, my soulmate, who loved me dearly as I did him for 19 years, [we] had a true friendship, we were one heart and one soul, and we never concealed anything from one another. He will always be in my heart, [my] beloved friend..I. have lost everything."]
#this is like. incredibly niche.#but also hopefully a quote one can look at without context and still feel emotional damage about#idk. i think about this quote probably at least once a week and then have to stare at it and cry a bit#its just GOD. yknow??????#theres this one paper(which i linked) that i originally read as research for the AU#but i go back to it probably twice a month to reread it bcs im so !!!! abt it#i think its cause charles vi is just not that relevant but is relevant to me so to have this paper abt his personal relationships is very !#its both nice as ref for the au but also very interesting to hear about historical queer relationships/dynamics#the sections about him and his wife are very endearing as well#but god like him and count althann. im literally so invested in this 300 year old relationship#this is obviously from his death which is incredibly depressing and heart wrenching to me#but the other things he wrote about althann in his diary are very sweet to me#they were inseparable to the point of often sleeping in the same bed and charles called him his 'eternal love'#AND ON ALTHANN'S DE WIKIPEDIA PAGE IT LITERALLY CALLS HIM THE EMPEROR'S FAVORITE#anyways literally every part of this quote absolutely destroys me but especially how he refers to althann and then the ending#and its interesting to me bcs apparently his diary entries were usually pretty to the point#but when various people in his as althann died he would write these extremely emotional entries that are so </3#if you have any questions abt their dynamic pls i will talk abt them 🥰🥰 i find it fascinating#theres a book about his diary but its in german and 500 pages and kinda hard to get hold in but maybe one day!!!#also in AU contexts: althann and charles vi would be mark and seb so take that as you will 🤭😭#as i said this is great for ref but also made me sooooo fucking invested in him#i have no idea how to tag this#historical#holy roman empire#emperor charles vi#catie.rambling.txt#historical quotes#habsburg#habsburg monarchy#ah wow if only my german prof could see me now. fucking...habsburg posting. why am i like this
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
I own a Wii and Twilight Princess at this point btw. I could set it up at any time. But what if. Instead of doing that. I just played more Majora's Mask.
#Mostly this is the depression. Been having a Time Of It#That said part of it is also that howlongtobeat says it takes around 50 hours to complete tp#Which is how long i spent on skyward sword HD#Accounting for Dumbassery I'll probably spend even longer on twilight princess#And I won't lie. I am not. Looking forward to that#By far my biggest issue with skyward sword was its pacing#It took WAY too long to do ANYTHING in that game#Getting sent on meaningless 'redirected by the reception' pre-dungeon quests is an loz staple true#But skyward sword rlly elevated it to an artform it should NOT take me 6 hours to reach the FIRST dungeon#I liked skyward sword overall don't get me wrong but by the end it rlly felt like pulling nails#I'm pretty sure I straight up rage quit after levias told me the song of the hero was split in 3 lol#I was squinting at every new plot point like 'I dare you to send me on another fucking fetch quest asshole'#Anyway based on estimated play time I'll probably face similar issues with twilight princess#Not to mention the artstyle is extremely unappealing to me. I don't wanna look at that for 50 hours#Don't get me wrong I'm sure I'll enjoy the game#I've had my misgivings about LOZ games before and they've always pleasantly surprised me#But ugh. Not looking forward to 50 hours of getting redirected by the reception in a drab-coloured building#My posts
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
hate fighting my way thru nw england NHS i desperately need a med change so bad buut as usual. bah.
#tbd#love how my doctors took one look at my paranoia / anger and just diagnosed it as depression#idk man. the citalopram helps a bit but not in the greatest way but its literally better than nothing ig??#but i also cannot afford therapy or anything else anyway since ill probably have to go private for hrt too.
12 notes
·
View notes