#anyway its Heaven Help Us obviously
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howlingblaster · 2 years ago
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Its actually incredible that mcr wrote two songs specifically about trigun
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I love jack so so much he's perfect but tbh I do think it would've worked much more with the show if he was a destiel baby instead of lucifer's. and I'm not just saying that as a shipper or whatever I mean narratively it would've been a lot cleaner- and actually, I think it would've been super funny to no-homo them creating a baby together, like, literally all they would have to do is say "oh, when cas rebuilt dean after hell he accidentally left some grace tangled in his soul, and every time he's healed him since then it's been growing stronger until a nephilim was born". like yes the studio is homophibic etc etc but all the jokes they'd make about dean being spiritually pregnant would be very funny for me personally.
but ANYWAY, jack's story gets messy and convoluted and I think this would've been like...a simple fix. them worrying about him going dark side could be because they're worried how demon!dean and lucifer!cas affected him in development, the show LOVES bloodline drama, chuck's wanting abraham and issac 2.0 would've worked better this way, dean's storyline with him would be improved, bc rather than 'oh no I slowly but surely emotionally adopted the antichrist' like I think he would've had an easier time clocking his john-behavoir if it wasn't a question whether he was jack's dad or not. plus last time dean actively raised a kid he went to great lengths to keep the supernatural away from him, so it'd be interesting to see how he handles a kid he CANT possibly hide from this part of his life. it would make more sense why michael wanted jack as a vessel- yes obviously he wanted the nephilim power boost but also having him as part of the winchester bloodline, making him a PERFECT vessel he doesn't have to worry about burning up would add a lot. we could also use this argument for why lucifer is so interested in him if anyone actually liked that plotline in season 14 lmao. we know chuck hated cas and dean's relationship, could you imagine if he checked in and found out they made an unauthorized baby together💀 like that really would've given better context for why he hates jack so much. cas wouldn't need that whole weird brainwashing arc to wanna protect unborn jack, PLUS it could've been an interesting source of angst for him- he feels like he's failed once again, creating an abomination and putting dean in danger, but also still loves jack immensely. it'd be so good! also imagine how fucking stressed out heaven would be to find out a mini castiel is on the way. they wouldn't even wanna exploit that kid for power they'd be preemptively treating the headaches they know they're gonna get lmfao.
also. the casting directors literally put jensen and misha into a face morph app and cast the first actor they could find that matched the results. which would've made more sense if,,,,he was just Theirs. the comedy of dean and cas making a baby before either of them managed to admit their feelings to each other would be more fun then the "dude adopted a kid and pawns him off on his unwilling roommate's all the time and they eventually warm up to the kid" storyline we actually got. we also could've replaced some of the jack-dean angst from the show with "dean wants to connect more with jack but he feels shut out whenever cas is around bc he can't relate to any angel stuff so obviously jack's going to cas for help more!", which I think would be interesting!! how AWFUL dean and cas would feel that jack didn't feel safe enough to be a baby. dad!sam is still in full swing but he cares for jack right off the bat instead of trying to use him for his powers at first. lily sunder talking about how cas killed her kid bc he thought it was a nephilim and dean, who's already fully aware he's (spiritually) knocked up by cas is like 👹 inch resting cas-tee-elle tell me more. mary having a 'my baby has a baby' crisis. cas insisting jack looks nothing like him is a running joke but then at some point he explains its bc jack's 'true form' looks just like dean's soul....
ALSO- in a show where, canonically, the very first act of free will was cas falling in love with dean...the physical manifestation of that defeating chuck and taking his place as god? come ON.
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eggcats · 6 months ago
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Radiostatic fic, where when Vox is watching the hotel prepare for the Extermination and is like “they're going to FIGHT?!” he (internally) freaks out and decides to use the opportunity to try to get a deal out of the princess of hell himself. After all, he has the tech to fight - Angelic Security - it'd be remiss of him to not offer it to the princess and raise his status over that old timey prick!
“Vox, you of all people know that Angelic Security shit is a scam. Get your ass back in the chair.”
“Nonsense, Velvette! It's simply…untested. And what better way to beta test its worth than by using it against a direct assault from heaven?”
“If you die, I'm taking your room.”
So he goes over to the hotel to offer his help.
(Vaggie tries to stab him when he asks for a deal in exchange, and he doesn't know why he's so desperate to help, so he decides to offer it free of charge).
Alastor tries to veto it entirely, citing how all of his technology is both flashy and useless, but he's outvoted by Charlie. (She doesn't trust Vox, nor does she believe in his tech, but she's not in any position to not accept help where she can get it - at worst, she figures it doesn't work and Vox abandons them).
Alastor and him ignore one another to the best of their abilities - they're both too busy (and stressed) to even really bother with their normal hostilities. The most they do are just a few snarky lines whenever they cross paths, but overall it's fine. (Vox will absolutely not admit to himself that it's kind of nice to not be at each other's throats, for once. They've even had to work together once or twice).
So now Vox is struggling to help the hotel with the oncoming assault, and convinces himself that he'll be long gone before any real danger arrives - he's only here on the off chance they survive to up the status of the Vees. (Totally no other reason).
Except. He doesn't leave the night before, and surprises even himself by showing up ready for the fight.
And the fight actually seems to be going really well! (Vox refuses to acknowledge being impressed by Alastor’s shield, even to himself).
But then. Not too long after the shield breaks, Adam appears. And Vox doesn't understand why he feels like his heart has stopped for the second time. He does his best to ignore it, but then Adam effortlessly kills Pentious and all he can think about is the same thing happening to Alastor.
(He can't die like that loser, I'm the only one allowed to kill him! There's no way that pretentious angelic prick took him down!)
When Lucifer finally arrives to take down Adam, Vox disappears. He will find Alastor, because no one but him is allowed to kill him. He refuses.
Vox finds where Alastor was injured, but with him not being there Vox knows there's only one place he'd go - his radio tower. And he's right! He finds Alastor, alive! (Vox does not admit, even to himself, the blatant relief that goes through him).
Alastor does his best to defend himself, assuming that Vox is there to end him. However, Alastor is barely functioning and despite his best efforts, Vox isn't deterred.
“I'm here to help you, asshole! Let me see that injury so we can fix it, and then we can try to kill each other!”
Vox refuses to take no for an answer, and does stitch up Alastor's injury. (Vox cannot believe Alastor even survived it).
He succeeds in closing his wound, and ends up looking like he's lost a fight to a badger - covered in scratch and bite wounds. Vox complains about it the entire time, but he's secretly relieved Alastor is alive enough to not take his help lying down.
Anyway, after his help, Alastor finally gets himself ready to return to the hotel. (When he first stands up, he falters and tries to catch himself with his staff - obviously it fails with it broken - and Vox catches him instead. They refuse to look at each other as Vox helps Alastor leave his radio tower and walk back to the hotel).
It's not until Alastor asks Vox how long before he can expect to be on the news that Vox realizes he has no intention of letting anyone know that Alastor is injured. (Alastor obviously doesn't believe him, but Vox does keep quiet about it. He doesn't even tell Charlie when Alastor does his best to keep it from her, as well).
It's not until they arrive with the brand new hotel, Lucifer being present, and everyone recovering after the failed Extermination, that Vox realizes he intends on staying at the hotel, even without his original excuse.
(He needs to make sure Alastor recovers, after all).
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tteokdoroki · 1 year ago
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✩࿐TRACK 03: WAR WITH HEAVEN. izuku midoriya (2K)
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about. upon spending time apart from your pro-hero fwb, deku, for a work trip — he quickly realises he wants it all with you. heaven, hell and life on earth.
warnings. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact! suggestive, sfw, slight angst, fluff, happy ending, sneaky links, long distance relationships, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sex, friends with benefits to lovers, journalist + fem!reader, pro hero!deku.
things to note. another saturday is upon us and so is another instalment!! i really like this one n can’t believe we’re half way through already !! anyways i hope you enjoy <3 - masterlist / series masterlist / series playlist ✩
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whether you believe it or not, izuku midoriya has never been hopelessly in love. 
like most people with an overexposure to romance saturated media — the number one hero has always had that nagging feeling, craving for something more. the person to come home to, the partner, the kids and the dog that chews through the white picket fence or makes a mess on the freshly cut lawn. he wants a family like most individuals. but with a schedule as busy and a lifestyle as reckless as his…there’s hardly any time for izuku’s dreams. 
dreams were for losers, anyways. 
after high school, izuku quickly learned that dreaming wasn’t enough to get by even if it had motivated him to become a hero. reality is harsh and full of hard truths — bearing the responsibility of future number one and being all might’s prodigy had taught him that. so his rose tinted view of the future he had planned for himself quickly collapsed, the stain glass window shattering above him while its shards nicked at izuku’s youthful, hopeful skin.
he wasn’t so pure and good after leaving U.A — at least not in front of the public. behind closed doors izuku was a pessimist. he was sly and maybe a little sleazy, always on the prowl for something or someone to toy with. little deku was all grown up, no longer baby-faced and bright eyed but instead buffer with an unfairly tiny waist and an angular sharpness to his jaw that could cut diamonds. 
he was attractive and he knew it — his new found confidence bled into his sex appeal and sky rocketed his popularity and now…the number one controls the whole of Japan in the palm of his hand. everybody wants a taste of the new and improved izuku midoriya. 
everyone including you. 
mindless hookups, despite being easy stress relief, always left izuku with a sour taste in his mouth. conservations with the elite that happened to stumble into his bed never went further than superficial talk and the odd ‘lets do this again sometime’s. he hated how people would change around him, clinging onto him after a night in the sheets like deku owed them a piece of his soul. 
being the number one was no longer enough for hungry mouths. sex no longer satisfied those in his circle. 
that was until he met you. the first time deku encountered you (at a hero press junket), you had been a shy intern journalist forced to follow around her mentor with an extreme lust for the green haired hero. he felt bad for you, you were obviously there to learn and do your job but the senior professional they’d stuck you with couldn’t help but slobber all over him instead of teaching you. 
half-way through the junket, izuku had managed to sneak away from the pestering paparazzi to get a moment to himself — and it seemed, you’d had similar ideas. his initial assessment of your character was way off too. you were quiet, sure, but observant and snarky as well. a realist just like him. and somehow, you’d managed to convince him to leave to conference; get drinks at a secret roof top bar for only the highest members of japanese hero society, and talk and talk for hours about everything and anything. from quirks to the best snack combinations at the only kombini open past three AM on your street.
izuku liked you, he hadn’t felt such a spark for someone since his rookie days. you were cute, he couldn’t stop looking at your eyes and how they sparkles. your lips when you sipped the drinks he ordered for you and the way you instinctively leaned up to deku just to hear what he was saying. 
the way you ended up in his bed that night was no mystery to either of you. 
except the sensual and sultry night you shared together didn’t end there — at every event, every occasion, where journalists were required to be present, you found yourselves gravitating towards one another. one moment you’d be sharing bedroom eyes with one another from across the room and the next deku would have you bent over in bathroom stalls, his hushed moans in your ear and his fingers deep in your mouth to keep you quiet.  
months went by and the sex didn’t stop, neither of you wanted it to. you made izuku feel a little bit whole again, you made him feel good and made him laugh all in the same breath. he didn’t just like it when you left your claim on his neck bordering the line of keeping your rendezvous a secret and letting the whole world find out — but he liked it when you stayed over and wore his shirts around his luxury apartment. or came to hang out with him at his private gym with a bag of cheat-day take-out katsudon and an earful of gossip from your office. 
deku really liked you, more than he should’ve for a girl who was meant to be just a fling, more than he should’ve for someone who didn’t have time in his day for a lover.
“did you get over me?” the hero pouts into the FaceTime call, watching you struggle to grab your luggage off of the conveyer belt in baggage claim. if he were there, he’d have gotten it for you by now.
despite not being anything serious to one another, izuku had made it a habit to weasel his way into your everyday life. you sent cute little good morning and goodnight texts to one another, along with other messages like ‘get home safe’ and ‘have a good day’ too. those text messages quickly escalated to phone calls once the green haired number one admitted to you that it’s hard to fight crime whilst looking for the right kao emoji to send you.
you roll your eyes, coy smile budding on the edges of your lips. “it’s only been two hours, izuku.” you say, finally managing to grab your bag before you head out to the main lobby of the airport.
one thing about that man, is that he’s clingy as fuck. all of your attention has to be on him or he’ll feel like he might die. with you being away for the weekend at a journalism conference instead of in his arms, izuku feels like he might burn the whole world down from the ground up. just to be near you.
either that or he’s just extremely pussy whipped. 
“streets are sayin’ you might sleep with that guy from your team while you’re there, is that true?” deku fires back, running a scarred hand through the mass of curls atop his head. he lets it run down to smooth over his face, peach fuzz starting to grow through — but you made him promise not to shave until the day after you got back. apparently his light stubble against your inner thighs made you cum so much—
“—i don’t even like him like that, you big baby,” you tell him matter of factly, cutting through his train of thought and bringing your phone up to your face once more to let emerald eyes peek down your sweater. “and i think he’d get the hint if he saw all these damn marks on my neck.” 
pink blooms underneath the freckles on midoriya’s cheeks at the sight of the purple hues decorating your neck and shoulders. he remembers the extra turtlenecks you had to pack because of it. “couldn’t help it, i needed to give you a reminder of what you’d be missing while you were away from me.” 
“you’re so dramatic, deku.” 
“oh, you wound me, angel.” he purrs into the mic with a sly grin, knowing that he’s affecting you just as much as he misses you. especially when you give him a pointed glare. izuku let’s the conversation wither out as you order yourself an uber that’ll take you the hotel. he can’t help but chuckle when you perk up and notice the amount of money he’s sent you to cover the costs of it. “yanno…” deku mumbles, resting his cheeks on his knuckles. “you’re like heaven away from hell to me.” 
you won’t admit how sexy he looks, even if izuku is all googly-eyed and soft for you. even if his forest green locks curl over his pretty eyes and hide them. it almost pisses you off. that he’s so blissfully unaware of how fucking pretty he is and how that mere fact manages to ruin you you even though you’re miles apart. “what’s hell, then?”
“my work. this city. this apartment, without you.” he says smoothly, filling your stomach with butterflies. izuku has a away about him that makes you feel like you’re his entire world and only his — but there’s never been any strings attached, you’ll never fully be his and he’ll very much be the nation’s hero (and dick) until someone manages to tie him down. 
“are you asking me to move in with you, izuku?” there’s no expectancy in your voice — you say it mostly as a joke because you have no idea how much the number one pines for you. how tonight, he’ll drink himself into a stupor with his friends and whine to them about how much he misses you. izuku may have changed on the outside, may be stronger and faster but he’s still that insecure teenager on the inside. 
he has to force his knees to stop knocking whenever you’re around. he finds himself swallowing the lump in his throat whenever he thinks about the possibility of you being with someone who isn’t you. he feels sick to the stomach and panics at the thought of losing you. you mess with deku’s head in the worst of ways and yet he finds himself wanting more. nevertheless, he smiles, loving how his name sounds on the sweet glaze of your lips. 
“you’ve got a place in my bed. you’re always here anyways.” 
“you’d never let me leave it, if you had a say in the matter.” 
“you’d never have to work again if you let the number one hero take care of you angel.” izuku sighs longingly, giving you his cutest pair of puppy dog eyes that never fail to make you swoon. “but you love your job.” 
“i do.” your uber pulls up and you reply curtly so you can properly greet your driver. they aid you with your suitcase and you slip your headphones on while in the back seat to keep your special conversation private. 
“do you love me?” he can’t help but ask. izuku is hopelessly enamoured by you, you’re like a virus that’s spread across his brain and controls his every thought or action. he needs you like his lungs need oxygen to breathe — you’ve changed him for the better, shown him that maybe he can have both work and luxury. a family and foundation. with you, if you’d want him. 
“izuku.” you warn, but playfully.
“so it’s true,” the hero drawls across the line in faux disappoint  though his eyes speak mischief. “you only like me for my cock ‘n my money.” you can practically hear the pout on his pretty plump lips. 
a fondness takes over you and you can’t help but squirm happily. “and your pretty boy smile,” you squeal cutely, filling midoriya with the same amount of fondness “don’t forget.”
“so you do love me.” 
“i can’t answer that until you ask what you want to ask me properly.” 
“alright then,” sitting up, deku grasps at his phone between shaky fingers and holds it above his head — giving you the perfect view of his freckled and scared (and chiselled) body. he chews on the swell of his lower lip, dancing around the question he knows he wants to ask. “angel. i want you. more than just a fling. i want you to be mine.” he blurts, closing his eyes so that his thoughts come easy and he can’t see you reject him.
midoriya doesn’t know what he would do if he lost you, he’s seen what losing your love has done to his friends. kirishima and his partner had almost broken up with each other recently. he’d be a mess in that situation.  izuku has faced too many hardships in his life, his career, to let this one good thing slip from between his fingers. 
“will you? be mine?”
he sees you poke your tongue into your cheek, laughing as you pretend to think. “i will, izuku. i want nothing more,” you coo. “keep my side of the bed warm. i’ll be home soon.” 
relief floods through deku’s body. “don’t be too long, gorgeous.” with a couple of blow kisses, he lets you go with the reminder to call him back once you’re settled in at the hotel (so he can pay for your room service). it’s only when you’re alone again that izuku realises he’d rip stars from the sky to be with you, pull the heavens right down to earth to be by your side.
you’re everything to izuku, and for you, he’d go to war with heaven. 
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꒰ end. — all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2023. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.
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phantomwitch16 · 9 months ago
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Hazbin Hotel Theory: Lilith
I had never posted about Hazbin Hotel before, but I came across a theory about Lilith that I wanted to discuss. I’ve only seen clips, so correct me if I'm wrong. So, anyone who hasn't watched anything or hasn't caught up yet, WARNING: SPOILER ZONE.
At this point, everyone is quite aware of the Lilith/ Eve Theory, where Lilith left or was kidnapped by Eve to explain her disappearance for most of the show and what she was doing in Heaven. I think the theory has some promise, but some things don’t feel quite right.
In the episode where Lucifer first appears, we learn that Lilith and Lucifer seem to have split years ago. We don't know how long ago or the circumstances of the separation, with it pretty much up in the air.
It could be possible that Lucifer’s depression could've gotten in the way of their relationship (similar to his relationship with Charlie), causing some friction. This obviously would give Lilith a lot of responsibility, likely to raise Charlie and inspire the denizens of Hell by herself. We don't know much about what Lucifer does most of the time other than making ducks, keeping Lulu World running and wallowing in his depression.
I don't think that they split up, at least I don’t think that’s the whole story. There have been some odd details regarding Lilith and a few other people within the series that do add to the theory. While it's possible things might have changed during the development of the series, Viv has previously stated that Lilith and Lucifer were a very lovey-dovey couple and I doubt that she would change it. While I think their relationship would have its faults, obviously with their history and trauma, yeah, that was going to happen, but not the stereotypically 'my partner hates me' bs.
Even if they had split up, I doubt that Lilith would have just up and left Charlie without saying anything.
But anyway, since her appearance on the beach with Lute, there have been several theories about Lilith and whether she would be an antagonist or the main one. I disagree, but given how she's been pretty much a mystery for most of the series, with not much being said about her, it’s understandable most would come to this conclusion. But I doubt Lilith would be because Lilith was the one to instil Charlie to help the denizens of Hell so for her to come to disrupt her progress with the Hotel.
This obviously leads to the Lilith/Eve Theory people have come up with by what people have seen and picked apart from the show and the cards that people received before it aired. Now people who have watched the show and been on Twiiter/X or any other social media probs already know the theory, but I'll spell it out for those who don't.
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Just before the show aired, people received cards on each character and a few select items in the series. Of these characters was Lilith, but there was something off with it. Instead of seeing a revamp of her original design in the pilot, it's just a close up with her face shadowed.
The image above has Lilith or who we think is Lilith sitting with her hand over her lips and a shadow over her face, only showing a sinister smile. The one thing strikes me about it was the was almost like she know that we know there was something wrong with the image and was telling us to be quiet.
So far in the show, we've only seen her in the portraits that are decorated around the hotel and in Lucifer's ducky workshop. She makes a brief appearance in Charlie’s flashbacks where we don’t even see her face, though this is largely because the attention was focused on Charlie and Lucifer. Here it shows that even her look has remained largely consistent since the pilot.
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What truly defines Lilith design is her long wavy hair. But despite it, there is something different about it in the card. It's very long, obviously but as it gets closer to her face, it starts to look more uneven. Or jagged.
But what grabs the attention in the card is the smile. It looks very sharp and angular, very different to the smile that she has in the portraits and in her depiction on the storybook in the first episode.
But we've already seen it somewhere. Just not on Lilith.
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Obviously, this isn't a new take. This is a very popular take that nearly everyone has heard.
I like to think that with the reveal, we will get a more factual retelling of what happened when Lilith and Lucifer rather than what came out of the story book Charlie was reading, likely something her mother made for her when she was growing up. Mainly what happened to Eve as they cleverly avoided it. While we don't know if they're going to tackle it, it's likely that they will discuss Eve's life after eating the fruit and her very long life. I think that while Adam was sent to heaven to become one of the exterminators, Eve became one of the first original sinners sent to Hell.
There are several ways they could handle it with it's possible the Eve is starting a little bit of chaos using the knowledge Lilith and Lucifer gave her. With Lilith attempting to stop her alongside Lute and the rest of Heaven.
For what reason? She could've taken up a new identity after death. that identity being called Roo. Or more specifically, the Root of All Evil.
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Roo is someone that's been known for since 2019 and someone Viv is excited to introduce since she first drew her, calling her a looming threat amongst the series. Hints of her appearance have been placed throughout the pilot on the tower and on the show. I believe that Lilith, Lute and Eve are working together with Heaven to track down Roo to destroy her hold on Earth or to prevent her from doing something to Hell, Heaven and Earth.
It's also likely that she is the demon Alastor is chained to. Why her specifically and not Lilith? Besides the timeline matching, there is very little opportunity for them to meet. Even though Alastor has made a big name for himself in the Pride Ring, Lucifer has not heard of him, so why would Lilith? But that just might be a Lucifer thing, they probably could've met after one of Lilith's shows or something.
Knowing Alastor as a person, he would've been in a very desperate situation, or maybe he was too cocky like with Adam and picked a fight with her, thinking that she was some random Overlord or low ranking demon who knocked him down and stole his soul. With her having control over him, then he is willing to do anything to get out of their agreement. Whether its to play around and isolate the princess of Hell from her support network, to make her hopes and dreams crumble to dust.
It could be possible Lilith left Charlie and Lucifer to focus on Roo, with it likely that Lucifer knows what's she's up to and tries to shield her from what's happening. But as the hotel gets more popular, Roo's attention is directed to it, thus putting Charlie and all three realms in danger. Lilith would come to Charlie, try to sugarcoat it as best as possible before revealing Roo as a threat. Then when she comes there, Alastor betrays them, but as he is free, has a change of heart and attempts to help.
That's what i think anyway.
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cynarisgayass · 5 months ago
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𓍊𓋼~All the Letters of the alphabet~𓋼𓍊
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Type: Mini headcannons
Description: So obviously I'm not the first to make a dirty alphabet of headcannons, credit to whoever did make it first though cause I tried to find out but it was a never ending list, but anyways this is basically a whole bunch of smutty headcannons with each one being a letter of the alphabet. I changed a couple though to make it more my own. :p
Rating: Explicit
Reader: GN, afab
Warnings: Kinky, be prepared for anything
Includes: Tighnari!
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Tighnari:
Aftercare:
His soft hands would never leave yours as he helped you and cared for you, making sure you were well taken care both in the bedroom and out of it. He'd take a bath with you if you were sore and let you hug his tail if you wanted to cuddle. Aftercare with him always confirms how much he loves you.
Body part:
His favourite body part of yours would have to be your hands, the way they feel wrapped around him or when you're playing with his ears, he loves it. He even adores when your nails scrape across his back during the fun~
Cum:
He cums alot~, neither of you are sure why but he can overfill you in one go and then some. It's messy, sticky milky white but it's also hot to be covered in so much of him. It tastes salty sweet and often runs down your chin whenever you use your mouth, no matter how hard you try to get it all...
Dirty secret:
He secretly likes when he fills you too full. Something about seeing his cum drip out of you and knowing that you're unable to hold anymore sends shivers down his spine.
Experience:
He didn't have lots of experience, mostly cause he was more focused on academics then romance but he quickly studied up on books and other forms of learning after the two of you started having sex. He wanted to know everything so he wouldn't be lacking and it paid off~
Favourite position:
Any of them really, but he specifically likes ones where he can look into your eyes. He enjoys seeing what different positions can affect you the most. The second your eyes roll back he knows he's found a good one.
Goofy:
He's not goofy in bed. He's not really goofy outside of it either, but sarcasm does find it's way into some of your more intimate moments...for example if you tell him not to stop over and over he'd probably respond with "Yeah like I'd stop" just pointing out the obvious.
Hands:
Just the same as he loves yours, you love his hands. He's very good with them, wether they are hitting all the right places inside...or outside~ They are always finding ways to make the experience better for you.
Intimacy:
He can be very intimate and romantic, but more often then not he's more of a beast in bed. Naughty things cloud his mind and though love is obviously always in play, it tends to fade more into the background as the two of you get louder and louder.
Jack off:
Masturbation was basically what got him through his academic years and it's still helping him out whenever he's away from you. If he's gone away for a lecture, you can bet he's taking dirty thoughts of you with him to use when he's alone. You're on his mind more often then you'd think too..
Kink:
Alot of people would assume breeding kink, which yes can be true but it's mainly a cum kink for him. He just likes it when you're filled with his cum, or covered in it if, or swallowing it. Anything where you have him all over you, its such a turn on for him.
Location:
He's usually pretty nervous doing things outside of a bedroom, but ever so often things might make it outside and I mean in nature outside. He has animal instincts and he likes the fresh air, pair that with your scent and the slight risk of getting caught and he's in heaven.
Mouth:
He's more then happy to use his mouth on you. His tongue is a bit rougher then average and it feels so good on you that you tend to get pretty loud whenever he goes down on you. It makes his ears twitch in delight as he laps up your essence.
No:
He's usually pretty open to learning ways to please you, but the one thing he will not do is...hurt you. He can't bring himself to actually injure you. Maybe a spank or a bite but that's it. He's trained in the medical field and he's seen abuse firsthand. He never wants you to feel that way.
One or more:
He usually prefers to keep things between the two of you, but if both of you agree to add a extra someone to the party, he can get behind that... literally~ As long as you know at the end of the day that you're his lover and no one else's.
Pace:
He is usually pretty fast. Not that he doesn't want things to last, he just reaches his breaking point quickly, but that doesn't mean things end then. He's almost always up for another round and if he's not then you can guarantee he'll find other ways to please you till he is.
Quickies:
They are okay in his opinion. He's fast so it works, but he really enjoys when he has lots of time with you to do whatever you both are craving. Not to mention, quickies often leave him having to hurry and dress you back up and he longs to see his work instead...
Rough:
He can get pretty rough when he's really hungry for you. Hair pulling is on the table, along with biting and holding you down as he fucks fast and hard. He knows you can handle it~
Stamina:
He pretty much stays at three rounds, but if things are really hot and heavy and he just needs more of you, he will find a way to go more.
Toys:
Over his course of learning how to make you feel pleasure beyond your wildest dreams, he gathered quiet a few toys to use on you. Sure he has some for him, but you're his true interest. He especially loves one that's shaped like a mushroom, it vibrates and has such a nice array of settings for him to play with.
Unfair:
He teases you with his sarcasm and finds it hot when you do the same back, he's quick witted and sometimes you find it difficult to compete with him, but that's all just entertainment that dissipates when things start going~
Volume:
He's so quiet normally, but when the two of you are at it he loses that entirely. Gasps and groans are always escaping him, and when you're using your mouth he gets even louder. Yelps and grunts that have you grasping for more.
Wildcard:
He wouldn't be opposed to traveling in the desert with you if it meant he could see you in one of the desert outfits. Sweaty and lots of skin showing...a guy can dream~
X-ray:
Whats in his pants...a 8 inch. A little longer then average but rather skinny, with a pretty pink tip. He has bigger balls that tend to slap against the inside of your legs or against your booty for extra sound affect.
Yearning:
His sex drive is high. He needs you, all the time. Filled, bent over, on your knees, all of it. Whenever the two of you have the opportunity, he's in the mood.
Zzz:
He's already tired from working and he puts in alot of effort so he falls asleep pretty fast afterwards, but not without cuddling up to you and wrapping his tail around you first.
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Phew this was long. Next post is gonna be a part two to scream or be silent!
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coolshadowtwins · 6 months ago
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I have this au that just kinda… drops off half way through, which is why I haven’t posted it before. But I can’t think of anything else for it, so you get what little there is!
SXY manages to survive the poison when giving birth. Maybe it wasn’t as strong, maybe she managed to cut it off early enough, maybe LBH’s demon blood helped. Who knows. The point is, she is now half dead instead of fully dead, in a lot of pain, and has a newborn baby because she just gave birth! She’s just thinking about doing her original plan- sending LBH down the river- when a nice washer woman comes along and finds her.
I’m going to call her Ms Luo for this, since she doesn’t have a name in canon. Ms Luo is a kind woman! She’s kind of enough to take in a baby she has found in the wilderness, and she’s kind enough to take in this dying, half feral cultivator and her newborn baby as well!
SXY doesn’t trust it- obviously. But she doesn’t get much of a say when she falls unconscious, does she, hmmm? And she stays in and out of unconsciousness for the next few days, at least. The poi didn’t kill her, but it did mess her up. I imagine for this au it would limit her lower mobility, if it was trying to kill the baby. Some bad nerve damage there.
But Ms Luo is here! She doesn’t have much, but she does care for the baby as SXY is unconscious. She tries to get medication for SXY as well, but isn’t successful. Just as well- normal medication wouldn’t do much for what’s wrong anyway.
And this is the new normal that SXY wakes up to- a week plus later, her cultivation (which also would have taken a hit) having done its best at repairing the damage, her lover and the father of her child either dead or sealed away out of reach, and at the mercy of this random washerwoman.
She’s not getting any better until she could see a sect doctor, preferably one of the best ones. But that’s never going to happen- she’s wanted now, surely! Demonic sympathizers were never treated well. (The cultivation world thinks she’s dead, tragically killed by TJL. But she doesn’t know this yet.)
So she does the only thing she can- hang around and help Ms Luo out. She can’t leave, not with her mobility issues, nor would she be able to provide for her baby. But she can stay here, under the kindness of this woman, and try and help her out.
She starts to help wash the clothes- don’t have to be standing for parts of that! To save on food, she focuses her limited cultivation so she doesn’t have to eat the limited supplies they have. She’s terrifying, and she’s uses that to her advantage when intimidating Ms Luo’s shitty boss.
Ms Luo repays her by not only letting her live there, but also helping with LBH, giving SXY a new name to hide with, and her friendship. (SXY will never admit it, but she never had a lot of friends. Having one in Ms Luo was… nice)
LBH, meanwhile, is absolutely loving being raised by two moms. He’s learning to cook from Ms Luo, and learning cultivating from SXY. What else would a young boy need?
And then LBH is ten, and Ms Luo gets sick. Like, really sick. Nothing SXY, in her limited medical knowledge, does helps her. The town doesn’t have a clinic, and the nearest one is a while away. Not only that, they don’t have the money to go. SXY can see only one way to help her friend- go to the one place that (probably) wouldn’t turn her away for being a criminal when there’s a life of the line. CQM.
Cue a travel montage of SXY (who has limited mobility), Ms Luo (who is deathly sick), and LBH (who is ten), trying to get to CQM before it is too late.
They do make it there- only to be stopped at the stairs. They aren’t stopped by an actual person! They are stopped by the actual stairs. SXY can’t walk them. Ms Luo can’t walk them.
That leaves LBH, ten and scruffy and probably looking too thin, to be the one to climb the giant staircase, up to the sect in the heavens.
The last thought I have of this au is the funny image of whoever happens to be at the top of the stairs that morning, being greeted by what looks to be a street urchin tell you that his mother is the long thought dead SXY and that she’s down the stairs, along with his other mother (by the way, he has two), and both are dying. Would you believe him?
(I have nothing after this. Please, tell me in reblogs and replies about how you would continue this)
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ghost-1-y · 1 year ago
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Temptation
Angel!Mitsuri x AFAB!Succubus!Reader
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Content Warnings: MDNI, dark content, sacrilege, blasphemy, religious themes, dubcon (aphrodisiac), manipulation, sexual content, dom!reader, sub!Mitsuri, unprotected sex, oral (reader receiving), scissoring, virginity loss (Mitsuri), corruption k!nk, praise k!nk, degradation, hair pulling, concepts of "purification" and "chastity", concepts of sex and sexuality being "dirty" and "sinful", slight mentions of blood (not in a sexual context), use of bible verses (in italics), references to bible passages/stories, people who are religious may find this content offensive, please read with caution
Summary: Mitsuri had always done what she was told to do, glorifying her god and helping those who needed it. She never once thought about breaking the rules – much less her vow to chastity, until she found what initially appeared to be a human in a darkened alleyway in need of help, unknowingly falling into a trap that would corrupt her from holiness for the rest of eternity.
Word Count: ~3.3k
Divider Credit: the wonderful @/benkeibear
A/N: so, I used to be religious (Christian), so a lot of this might've come out of my own personal traumas that I experienced (eg. the concept of purification and chastity and being ashamed of having "dirty" thoughts). Obviously, I no longer hold these views (as evidence by writing these fics LMAO), but that somewhat influenced how I wrote this fic, maybe some of y'all will be able to relate? I hope you enjoy!!
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Let your light shine before them in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.
Mitsuri loved the world, she loved humans and nature and all the beauty that existed in between. She would watch the sun rise upon the earth and how it would cast its rays upon trees and cities as life basked in its holy light.
She loved the night as well – how it brought tranquility and peace as those she watched over rested until the sun peeked over the horizon once more.
She sometimes wished that her light would not interfere with such serenity. 
But the world also saddened Mitsuri, she mourned as those she loved from afar returned to dust underneath grassy knolls; her heart broke as she witnessed fighting amongst nations and arguments amongst lovers. She knew that loving the world would bring grief upon her, because the world was infested with sin.
The world would never be perfect, yet she loved it anyways.
So Mitsuri spent her eternity by helping those who needed it – taking on a human form so others wouldn’t be afraid. She helped by working in food banks and soup kitchens – oh how she adored those humans who set such wonderful services up – and would afterwards walk along roads to give food to those who, for whatever reason, found such services inaccessible to them. She would volunteer in hospitals, helping the sick in whatever way she could, and would listen to their stories and offer comfort should they share their suffering with her, holding their hand in hers to offer support – however small. 
It was not a coincidence, then, that she caught sight of you, a human lying alone in a darkened alleyway, isolated from the bustling street that was doused in sunlight. You were covered in shadows to the point where it looked like darkness emanated from your body itself, curled up and alone – hiding within the stench of garbage and discarded roadkill.
Mitsuri approached you – her kindness limitless and unbounded by fear as her light blessed your shadowed figure, gentle and warm – a light that was neither blinding nor dim as you looked up at her.
“Are you alright, my love? My name is Mitsuri, I saw you here and wanted to help,” she smiled sweetly. It didn’t matter what language you spoke, since Mitsuri’s words would translate perfectly once they fell from her lips and graced your ears.
Burning lips and a wicked heart are like a potsherd covered with silver dross.
Teary eyed, you smiled up at her, “Thank you, I didn’t think anyone would come, but you’re here now.” Mitsuri’s gentle eyes looked over your condition, a cut on your forehead which was seeping a dark red, and smudges of dirt all over your body.
“Oh, love, let me get you cleaned up a bit!” Mitsuri exclaimed as she secretly materialized some cotton pads, pretending to fish them out of her pocket. She wiped the blood that was dripping down your face, “I don’t have antiseptic wipes on me, would you wait here as I go get them from a convenience store?” You nodded, staring past her shoulder. 
If Mitsuri knew any better, she would’ve thought you could see her wings. 
Mitsuri rushed across the street and bought the antiseptic wipes, more cotton pads, and a couple bottles of water before running back to help you. She knelt beside you, and began cleaning up your face. “You know, you should take better care of yourself,” she smiled softly as she wet the cotton pads with water and began wiping away the smudges of dirt on your skin. 
You said nothing, letting Mitsuri work on you. Once finished, she stood up and held out her hand, “Are you able to stand?” she asked.
You looked down at her hand and reached for it, slowly encasing it in yours, with your index finger pressing against the pulse in her wrist. A strange flush of warmth spread through Mitsuri’s arm and to her chest, causing a shiver to move up her spine. She shook her head, and helped you get up.
The warmth continued to spread and fester within her, and she couldn’t figure out why – you were human, or at least looked like you were. 
You gave her a saccharine smile, “I appreciate your help, angel, but I have to get going – I’ll see you around, no?”
Mitsuri’s eyes widened at the pet name you let slip – you couldn’t possibly know what she was – it was a coincidence, that’s all.
She who trusts in her own heart is a fool,
But she who walks wisely will be delivered.
Still, it caught her off-guard, and if she wasn’t flustered before, she definitely was now, slightly panicking despite knowing that humans wouldn’t be able to see her wings, or halo for that matter.
Mitsuri stuttered, “Of course, I– see you around.”
Days passed, and Mitsuri started to believe you’d fallen off the face of the earth – completely unable to sense your presence or soul. Yet, the warmth she felt from holding your hand did not fade – rather, it worsened, beckoning her to drag her dainty fingers along her stomach and downwards.
She shook herself out of it, but the heat lingered and pooled between her legs, so much so that it started to drip down her inner thighs – yet she wouldn’t give in to the temptation, she couldn’t – it was against everything that she was taught, everything that she believed.
Or were the beliefs forced upon her?
It wasn’t until after forty days and forty nights that she sensed you once more. It was early morning, so early that the sun had not graced its rays upon the world quite yet. You sat underneath a lamppost, its artificial light illuminating the bench beneath you, but oddly failing to reflect off of your own soft skin.
“You’re not human, are you?”
You looked up at her, a glint of mischief in your eyes as you shook your head. Standing up, you walked towards her, causing Mitsuri to take a hesitant step back.
“Don’t be shy, angel, I don’t bite – not unless you beg for it.”
“I– I’m not begging,” Mitsuri muttered, as though she were trying to convince herself more than anything.
Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and she will flee from you.
You approached her once more, and she remained still. Taking her wrist in yours, you slowly graze your nails over the skin of her arm, tracing up and down as she spoke. Her cheeks were red, flushed hot with both the strange warmth that found its home within her soul and now the shame of actually seeking what she desired.
You both sat down on the bench, a shrub blooming with jasmine flowers alongside it – the rich scent flooding her senses as her eyes locked with yours.
Do not desire her beauty in your heart,
Nor let her capture you with her eyelids.
“Do you ever get tired of it?” you asked, fingers circling the pulse point on her wrist.
Mitsuri frowns, “What do you mean?” You take your other hand and place it on hers, tracing your thumb across her skin, sending butterflies into her stomach.
“I mean,” you started, “do you get tired of kindness? Of righteousness?” you questioned, “do you ever wish to know beyond those things?”
“Um…I–” she paused, swallowing thickly, “N-Not really?” 
It was a lie, and you knew that.
“Oh, well that’s too bad,” you pouted before leaning in towards her, “because I could show you things you’ve never even felt before, angel.” You glanced up at her, and you could see her eyes pooling with the desire to accept.
“I– I really can’t, it would– it would be against my nature.” An excuse, but a truthful one. If she consented, she would be damning herself – condemning her soul to the farthest reaches of hell.
It was something unthinkable for a being like her.
“Hmm, but nature changes over time, does it not?” you questioned, “if I’m not mistaken, I can see the want in your eyes. You desire this change, yet you won’t grasp for it. Why?”
“You– you wouldn’t be able to understand,” she stuttered, retracting her hands from yours as she formed fists with them in her lap.
“Angel, I think I understand more than anyone else,” you smirked, "to me, you seem lost – you're falling, aren't you, angel?"
You got up from the bench, eyes flashing a brief red as you looked down at her – causing Mitsuri’s breath to catch in her throat.
For the lips of an adulteress drip honey
And smoother than oil is her speech;
But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
Sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death,
Her steps take hold in the house of it.
“If you wish for more than the mundanity of your everlasting life, you know exactly how to find me,” you told her, and before Mitsuri could look up at you once more, you were gone.
Mitsuri knew that it was wrong, she knew that it would go against her vows, her duties, her entire purpose, and yet – she found herself walking past that same alleyway each day, only peering into it out of curiosity before collecting herself and continuing on her way.
Until the seventh day, when she decided to stop in front of the alley, the sun beaming down on her as she stood just outside of it, as though the lined buildings on either side created a threshold that she couldn’t bring herself to pass. 
As Mitsuri peered into the shadows, she saw a figure stand up and walk towards her. She couldn’t look into the being’s soul – it was as though it didn’t have one at all. It approached her from the dark, and its silhouette depicted that of sharpened horns and a long tail which was pointed at the end. 
“Have you made up your mind, angel?” you asked sweetly, extending your hand past the threshold for her to take, “I promise, you’ll love how it feels to let go.” 
Mitsuri hesitated, but as she looked into your eyes, a fire ignited deep within her once more.
My child, if sinners entice you,
Do not consent.
It was all she needed to extend her own hand and place it in yours.
Shocks of electricity traveled up Mitsuri’s arm, much more intense than the warmth she felt before, it traveled deep into her gut, and her face flushed red as she was pulled into the shadows, fully enticed by you.
You pinned her against the wall, her back facing you. Her wings shuddered in excitement as you leaned in towards her ear, “I’m proud of you, angel,” you whispered, your breath hot against her ear, “I know how difficult it must’ve been to give in, I promise I’ll make it worth your while.” You grazed a finger along her left wing, nail lightly scraping against the feathers. She whimpered, her blush hot across her face as heat pooled in her stomach.
“I– I know you’re a–ah…” Mitsuri started, swallowing thickly before a soft moan escaped from her.
“A demon? Yes, angel, I am,” you chuckled, grabbing at her hair to pull her head back, “but I’m not here to hurt you, love, no, I’m here to make you sin.”
You turned her around and kissed her fervently, your lips sweet against hers. It felt euphoric, Mitsuri had never been kissed by anyone before – it was always said to open the doors to lust.
Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.
However, she melted into your kiss, malleable and pliable – eager to feel more of it, the fire inside her being nurtured and stoked as you continued to kiss her innocent lips. You licked at her, and bit down on her bottom lip before parting – a string of saliva connecting her lips to yours, binding her into damnation as she uttered her next words.
“Please, I need more.”
You smirked, and leaned in towards her neck, licking a long stripe with your tongue before kissing just below her earlobe, with Mitsuri letting out tiny mewls and gasps every so often. You traveled further down her neck towards her pulse point. You left marks deep in burgundy upon her as she moaned into your ear.
“I love the sounds you’re making, angel, make some more for me,” you purred, bringing your hand down towards her heat, pushing aside the white linen to rub your fingers along her entrance. “Oh, you’re so wet for me,” you cooed.
“Nngh, n-noo that- that’s dirty,” Mitsuri whined, and you smirked.
“Trust me, you’ll learn to love feeling this way.” Your breath was hot before putting her into yet another searing kiss. She whimpered, but kissed back, slowly accepting her growing addiction towards them.
You circled her clit with your finger, and she whined, face flushed as she tried grinding onto your hand.
“That’s it, angel, take what you need, such a good girl,” you encouraged her, rubbing her clit slightly faster as she ground into you, a blushing mess as she did so. Mitsuri’s moans got progressively louder, loving the sensations once unknown to her.
“Mmh–! I– I feel strange…like something’s building up in me!” she whined, “what– what’s happening–!?”
You kissed her once more, quieting her, “shhh, angel, that’s a good thing, just relax and let it build up, okay?” She moaned again, grinding harder into your hand as she obeyed your words.
“I– It’s gonna–! I’m gonna–!” Mitsuri’s eyes rolled back, letting out a strangled moan as she came all over your hand, juices gushing into your palm as she rode through her orgasm, her hips undulating until she couldn’t take it anymore – quickly becoming overstimulated from the feeling of pleasure coursing through her veins.
“Too– too much! Can’t– no more!” she cried, tears falling down her cheeks. You licked at each stray teardrop, the saltiness of it coating your tongue as you stopped your movements with your hand.
“Such a good girl for me, angel,” you praised, and she hid her face behind her hands in pure embarrassment. You took her by the wrists and held them down.
“Don’t hide your pretty face from me, I want to see every last bit of your pleasure.” 
Mitsuri whined and asked “can you– can you do that again, please?” Her tone was so sweet, begging for more like a pathetic slut who has abandoned all of her morals.
However, you refused, “if you wish for more of that, you’ll have to please me, first.” Mitsuri looked at you, confused, before you shoved her down to her knees, her face in line with your hips – the pretty lingerie you were wearing disappearing in an instant before you took her by the hair and pulled her towards your weeping cunt. “Make me feel good, angel, and I might consider actually fucking you this time.”
Mitsuri’s eyes dropped from your face down to your pussy, admiring how sweet and juicy it looked.
When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, she took from its fruit and ate.
So, she went entirely off of her own instinct as she brought her mouth to your heat, before licking at the wetness of it with her tongue. The sweetness of it coating the inside of her mouth like syrup; Mitsuri had never even thought of committing such lewd acts before, but now that she’d gotten a taste, she couldn’t help herself.
She started off shy, with kitten licks and tentative kisses on your clit. She may not have experience in giving pleasure, but she was there in the beginning when humans, angels, and devils alike were all created in the same image, and so she knew the insides and outs of their bodies unlike any other.
Her tongue delved deeper into your cunt, licking up any juices that seeped out of it, earning soft groans and grunts from you as you pulled at her hair. She adored your taste – it was addictive, a taste that she would gladly sin for if it meant she could feast upon it for the eternity of her damnation.
Her lips pursed around your clit before sucking gently, your eyes rolling back as she looked up at you. She whimpered, wishing you’d make eye contact with her and tell her she was doing such a good job – instead only receiving a few strokes through her hair as you thrived off of the pleasure that her mouth was giving you. Her own cunt was weeping, the heat from her abdomen becoming unbearable as she continued licking you up with her tongue – so much so that she reached down between her legs with her fingers, but before she could provide herself even the slightest bit of relief, you yanked her by the hair.
“You think you can touch yourself without my permission? Think you’re allowed to make yourself feel good? No, angel. Only I am allowed to do that. Any and all pleasure you receive, any and all sin that you commit, will be caused by me – for my sake.” You leaned down closer to her, breath hot against her face, “do you understand me?”
Mitsuri nodded, only to wince as you gripped her hair tighter.
“Say it.”
“Yes, I– I understand,” Mitsuri spoke softly as she removed her hand from between her thighs. 
“Good girl.”
You pulled Mitsuri up once more and, in an incredible display of flexibility, she raised her right leg so that it pointed up toward the sky, with you supporting her by holding her up by your hand. 
“Hah– you’re no angel, are you? Angels don’t act this way, y’know– you’re just a pathetic little slut, a pleasure-seeking whore that can never get enough,” you panted, before mounting your foot against the wall so your cunt was flush against hers, grinding against her wet heat. You grabbed her by the jaw and forced her to look at you. 
“What are you, hm? Tell me.”
“I– I–” she whined, “I’m– ‘m your slut…oh shit, ‘m your slut!”
“That’s right, you’re nothing but a stupid cumslut, aren’t you? Raised to be holy and perfect, but look at you, drunk on lust all because some demon tempted you. How pathetic.” 
Mitsuri whined as you ground into her, feeling absolutely no shame as she condemned herself further with each movement of your hips. The familiar tension in her gut started to build up once more as she took everything you gave her.
“Nngh– it- it’s happening a-ah– again!” she moaned, and you ground against her faster.
“That’s it, slut, cum all over my cunt. Sin for me.” 
Mitsuri’s thighs trembled as her orgasm flooded through her in waves, her mind addled with euphoria and lust as her pussy gushed all over you, her moans so raw and unbridled as she allowed you to claim her as yours, knowing she will never find pleasure like this through anything or anyone except you.
You are my God, and I give thanks to You;
You are my God, I extol You.
“My– my God,” she panted, “you– you are my God.” She knew it was blasphemous, yet she didn’t care, for she found a new being to worship, to love and to praise as she damned herself for the rest of eternity, certain that she would choose this over holiness in every lifetime if given the honor to do so.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. 
Amen.
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Taglist: @oreo-creampie, @k-a-t-h-r-i-n-a, @wow-im-gay, @peanutpunchy, @love-me-satoru, @crazycatlddy, @pastelbluecloudy3, @dinosaur-crime-scene, @thisbicc, @gojoscumslut, @bisexuawolfsalt, @everyonesfinaldestination, @leehoonii-i, @kyojurismo, @briefrebelfanalmond, @izuoyarmin, @ahashiraswife, @d1gitalbathh, @homo-homini-lupus-est-1701
(If your name was crossed out, it means tumblr didn't allow me to tag you - apologies for the inconvenience)
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I hope you all enjoyed!!! 💕
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betweenlands · 3 months ago
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so, about that teaser we promised...
Hello, friends. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?
Let’s get the administrative stuff out of the way; rest assured, we are still hard at work on the upcoming chapters of black sheep, come home. There have been many extenuating factors that have caused the long delay (sickness and illness, part-time jobs, the back-to-school sprint, et cetera), but we still remain dedicated to seeing this story through to its ending. More is coming once it is ready.
Now, all that aside, it’s good to speak to you again. That semifinals poll was fun, wasn’t it? A breakneck race to the end of the line to see the triumph of the Ghost’s Vault, twist after turn and unlikely ally after unforeseen boon. We appreciate your eyes and eyespots alike, your buffer against a rival tide. We thank you for helping us win in the end – we couldn’t have done it without you! Of course, this does not mean the Vault’s inhabitant will be freed (heavens forbid we allow the Book to fall into the wrong hands), but it does mean that more people will be watching, and more ghosts means more potentially helpful observers here to bear witness to what comes next.
Ah – although, I’m not trapped in the Vault. You’ve surely gathered that by now.
By that being said, you’ve surely gathered something else as well.
Let’s not ramble on. You were only promised a teaser for what’s yet to come, not full story spoilers – and trust me, you don’t really want spoilers anyway, because some things can only be discovered once (undisturbed tombs, birthday gifts, conspiracies, visual novel plot twists) and we’d really like you to have the option of going in blind to the next part of this story. Besides, isn’t theorizing part of the fun of reading stories like this one? It should be, if we’re doing our job right.
That said, this likely isn’t what you expected when you heard there would be a mini-update, but we promise you that this is very, very story-relevant; you just don’t know how it is yet. And, more obviously, this note is quite the exclusive update, having been written just for this very situation.
Anyways, don’t worry about how canon this is – it’ll sort itself out. I’ll see you soon.
Valete.
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respectthepetty · 1 year ago
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10 QL Girls I Want Carnally
Because @twig-tea hit me with the tag in their 10 QL People I Want Carnally list sprinkled with women as @negrowhat requested, let me slide up in here to show some appreciation for only the ladies because the amount of GLs we have leaves me thirsty, and these women look like a beautiful stream in the dusty desert.
Honorable Mention - Namtan's Characters [Pluto]
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I don't understand the plot of this upcoming series. Namtan is playing twins and one or both of them love May (played by Film). Full disclosure here, I don't give a fuck about the plot because I'm going to watch it regardless. I'm always showing up for Namtan (and Film and Clize). When I'm being offered beautiful women in a GL plot, I do not question the gifts God bestows on me.
Honorable Mention - Jung One [She's Makes My Heart Flutter]
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Fucking Korea and its short ass shows! I only had this precious babygirl for one hour, and I would murder for her. I would treat her so well that she would never feel nervous about another thing in her whole life. She is like Jim from Moonlight Chicken, just trying to help her niece and run her bar, but I'll be like Wen and WORK FOR FREE because that's how much I want to be in her bed warming her up at night. Money ain't the only way to pay me for my services.
Hydration Station
Maya & Rose [Laws of Attraction]
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Choke me. Maya AND Rose are my ideal throuple with me being the third. Silvy had me hot and bothered in her scenes with Joong and New in The Warp Effect (bisexual reawakening), and Organ had me hot for mommy in Never Let Me Go, so Laws of Attraction giving me both in a Be Gay, Do Crime plot was heaven sent. Watching them manipulate and beat up men, knowing they were going home to each other is the energy I need from all my GL plots.
Yuna [Semantic Error]
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She rides a bike and has beanies for every occasion. She'd let me wear her hoodies. She'd let me wear her beanies. She let me ride her bike. She'd let me ride her. Her entire demeanor lets me know what's up without her even having to open her mouth, and I've already signed up for a two-month subscription before I even approach her. Whatever she wants to do, I'm down whenever including going down wherever.
Tee [GAP]
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Let me say this with my full chest "FUCK, SAM!" If I was Mon, as soon as Tee would've asked my name, it would have been "Sam, who?" because TEE COULD GET IT! I'd let Tee fuck me in front of all her friends and God on that table. Tee's game was unmatched. No hate to Sam being inexperienced, but Tee obviously knew thangs and was more than willing to share her knowledge, anytime, any day, anyway. *bites knuckles*
Phai [My Dear Gangster Oppa]
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I don't fuck with cops. But . . . girl definitely knows how to use handcuffs. And the way she always told Muffin to shut up did things to my sacral chakra that told me that even though I don't fuck with the police, I would 100%, without a doubt, fuck the police(woman).
Proud [7 Project]
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This is going to be a theme in this list because I don't just want Proud from 7 Project, who deserved so much better than that horrible story. I want Samantha, the person who played Proud. Sammy has been in everything for a solid decade now. She deserves the lead already, and I deserve to watch her and those beautiful lips of hers make out with another girl again! 2024, do me and my girl right.
Luna [Sleep with Me]
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She has problems sleeping. Like an actual medical diagnosis. Not even trying to take away from the seriousness of her condition but . . . I've heard intensive physical activity is good for sleep. I'd be more than willing to test this scientific theory out by fucking all night long. It couldn't be just once though. In order to prove a theory, we'd have to do it a couple of times. I'm great at pulling all-nighters and being an enthusiastic participant for *science*
Cher [GAP]
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GAP gave me so many beautiful women, and all of them were mean to Sam. Blessed. But my favorite Mean Girl was Cher. I had her for only a few seconds, but I would leave my SO on vacation if I saw her walking through the resort. Her AND her girlfriend could get it. Call me. Beep me. If you wanna reach me.
Ray [Club Friday]
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This bitch was crazy. And I. Loved. It. But playing crazy is apparently what this actress does best.
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As Ray, she was wildin' out trying to have a baby between her husband, her husband's boyfriend, and her ex-girlfriend, and as Anthika in Midnight Museum, she was wildin' out trying to resurrect the savior. And you know what? I would proudly stand next to her and commit queer wrongs every day instead of demanding she come to her senses if it meant she was making me come every night. Ooookay.
Mayris [The Sign]
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Is she open to a two-night stand with a girl? I don't know, but I'm sure the hell gonna try to persuade her.
Ink [Bad Buddy]
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There is a reason everyone loved her in that show. In Magic of Zero, Pa was trying her damndest to get Ink to remember her, and girl, same. If I had a girl like Ink, I would be the brattiest bitch. I'd pout until she gave me all of her attention. I'd be pissy if she even looked at someone else. I'd want her all to myself and she'd have to lose her job because I'd keep her in the bed ALL DAY. Well, not the bed. We could pull a Pat and Pran and fuck on the couch, the kitchen counter, and outside after drinking.
The One to Rule Them All
Sine Inthira, the person, not the character.
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I want this woman carnally. She could tell me to shut up in front of my friends and God, and I WOULD DO IT! She could say something that went against all my feminist beliefs, and I would not give one fuck. I would ruin my life for this woman. I would be peak toxic for this woman. Why The Eclipse cast her as the teacher and tried to make me feel bad for Khao's character was the rudest thing to ever happen in my bisexual existence, but I know where my heart lies because I was telling Ayan to shut the fuck up and let my beautiful angel speak.
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LOOK AT HER! If y'all ever hear of an American sitting in a Thai jail after chasing after this woman, know that American is me because my ass will not be sane if I see her in person.
I'm only tagging one person in this list of women I want carnally.
💙Daddy💙
@dribs-and-drabbles, I'd love to know who you want helping you break in that bed after you move it in this weekend. You've been so focused on shared clothing when all I want to know is whose do you want to take off.
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666writingcafe · 1 month ago
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Asmo's Greatest Fear
Content Warning: personal headcanon about Asmo's injuries from the Great War, discussion about death
I stand alone in a room surrounded by mirrors, forced to confront my actual appearance. Not the one I've spent many hours perfecting via various beauty products and spells, not the one I assume as a demon, but my true form.
We all have scars from the war. Lucifer obviously has the most, since he was the one directly fighting Father, but after observing the others, I believe I come in a close second. I was the only one among us that had no prior experience in fighting or even self-defense. I mean, I could attack using my words, but even the most scathing insults can't do much against swords and spells.
Needless to say, the "jewel of the heavens" is now a pale imitation of what he once was.
The right side of my face is burned beyond recognition. I lost all the hair there, too, and I doubt it's ever coming back. The other side is littered with scars, and what hair I do have is thin and wispy, on the verge of snapping off. Both the burns and scars move down my body in an uneven criss-cross pattern. There's not a smooth patch of skin to be found anywhere.
It's easy for people to say things like "don't judge a book by its cover" or "it's on the inside that counts" when they're looking at conventional beauty, but when they're presented with someone like me, all that goes out the window. In their eyes, I'm a freak. A monster. At best, something to feel sorry about.
And there lies the problem with this form: I'll never be treated like a person with thoughts and emotions. I'm reduced to a sideshow attraction for others to gawk at. Not even my brothers are exempt from this gut reaction. Oh, they've learned to temper it as they've gotten used to it, but there's still that momentary flash of disgust or pity when they catch me like this.
Perhaps it's fitting that I became the Avatar of Lust. It grants me, among other things, the power of illusion. I can appear however I want, and using that alongside my charm ensures that people like me.
And that I'm not destined to be alone.
"EEEEW! You're UGLY!"
I turn my head in time to catch a round black creature fly across the room, its back hitting a mirror. Rope soon wraps around it as a piece of tape appears to cover its mouth.
"I can't believe that actually worked." Zephyr? "I tell you what, Asmo, your Little D. is a real pain in the ass." What I assume to be No. 5 thrashes in protest. I wish I had it in me to chuckle at the sight, but any time I try to move any part of my face, it ends up looking contorted.
Making me look even more like a monster.
Satisfied with No. 5's condition, Zephyr turns their full attention onto me. Their eyes travel up and down my body so intensely that I wish the ground would swallow me whole. Silence is almost worse than words where this is concerned.
"Tell me, do you wish you were dead?" The question catches me off guard. It doesn't help that they asked it so casually, like they're inquiring about the weather.
"Wh-what?"
"If you had the choice between existing in this form or not existing at all, would you run eagerly into death's arms and let it take you away from all your suffering?"
"I..." Tears threaten to fall down my face. "I mean, I've thought about it."
"How many times?" Did I upset them? Their tone certainly makes it seem that way.
"I don't know! I've--"
"--lost count?" I can only manage to nod my head. Zephyr appears seconds away from biting my head off, and I'm honestly trying to not provoke them any further.
No. 5 raises its hand, and Zephyr magically makes the tape over its mouth disappear.
"3,613,969," it gasps. "At least since my creation, anyway." Zephyr nods their head as they make the tape reappear. After a few moments of contemplation, they quietly mutter,
"41."
"What?"
"3,613,969 seconds is roughly equivalent to 41 days," they explain. "Obviously, we don't have that much time on our hands, because we're expected to wake up sooner rather than later, so I'll just have to do the first one now and give you the other 40 once we've recovered from this experience." What in the actual hell is Zephyr talking about? Give me 40 what? Insults? Beatings?
My confusion seems to amuse Zephyr, for a slight smirk forms on their face.
"I still see you, Asmo. Your scars don't scare me." They step closer to me. "But I know you want proof, so here it is." Before I can fully register their words, they quickly close the gap between us and kiss me.
Hard.
Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr, @tenkobitch, @budbuddnbuddy
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ssparksflyy · 3 months ago
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what if. hera DID have children but they were born in a more athena-like way, and not how demigods are typically born
ALLOW ME TO ELABORATE
what if children of hera were born from a feeling or emotion or just idea so deep, that hera is able to transfer that energy into a human-like form?? OR what if she just like decided to make herself pregnant IDK LMAO
but i mean like what if she blessed/gave (???) lets say something like couples who want kids but cannot have them, or couples that lost their baby/mothers who had a miscarriage
im fully aware anybody who has a miscarriage still has a chance of giving birth to another baby, so this part kinda applies more towards couples that want kids but cant have them- but id say she looks for people who desperately want and are worthy to have kids, and kinda like (god i wish you guys could see my hand movements right now) gives them a child??? idk i mean she could just kinda like leave a kid on their front doorstep and just so happens to be a perfect mix of the couple (or person)?? something like that??
yea i know its such a weird concept and very loose but i think its a nice thought ! like the goddess of childbirth using her power to help those who want but cannot have kids
i think artemis would also have to play a role in this, like she and hera judge and evaluate whoever theyre gonna give a kid to so they know theyre not giving it to somebody who wont treat the kid right or like a couple that thinks having a kid will fix their relationship
AGAIN very very vague and probably doesnt align with greek mythology at all but like this is directed for the pjo fandom anyway so any greek mythology nerds out there pls dont come for me in my dms 😭
and now we enter the questioning period
"would they still be considered demigods?"
i think so yep!! cause yk they came directly from hera .. she created them .. kinda like athena babies !! theyd obviously stay in cabin two :)
"do the parents know their kid is a demigod?"
i mean like no demigod parents know that their kid is but i feel like hera would leave a little note with the kid making up a story about how she needs somebody to take care of the kid cause she cant or wtv but then shed actually sign it 'hera' (and probs add like a little heart or something or maybe theres like a mini peacock drawing on the card) but i think most parents would just kinda brush her name off i dont think they would really realize like 'ohmygod the queen of the heavens hath given me a child' yaknow
"what traits or powers would a child of hera have?"
ummm idk. im not thought daughter enough for that ngl, especially cause their nonexistent and this is literally just me making up a theory but i feel like she mostly has daughters (cause shes the goddess of women - but that doesnt answer the question at all), i think theyd be really sweet (even though hera is a jerk in the books), and i feel like theyd also be good at archery and have an interest in nature, that they get from artemis :)
oh also!! these kids are like rare. like big three rare- max three roll around every decade or so
lmk what u think !! ˊᵕˋ
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castielmd · 3 months ago
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Again "Hunteri Heroici"
Disclaimer: This is not a Winchester-friendly post.
What really upsets me whenever I think back on the seasons I've already watched [1-9], is that we get to know so little about Castiel and angels in general. This would be alright, considering that not everyone should get expansive lore. But Castiel is considered the "best friend" of one of the main characters and has stuck for countless of seasons. So why do we not know more about him and his backstory?
What really bugs me about it in particular, is that the main characters simply do not care or wish to learn more about their "friend". I've talked about the anvil episode before [S8EP8], and I shall bring it up again to make my point.
————
Castiel's unknown abilities.
At the time of S8EP8, Castiel has already been around for 4 seasons, more or less. This should've been enough time to gather knowledge of him, his capabilities, his origins. And yet, when Castiel decides to become a hunter and aid the Winchesters, a lot of what he does still surprises both of them.
He can "turn off angel radio".
Castiel [about the angel radio]: Oh, I couldn't say. I turned that off.
Sam: You can do that?
Castiel: Yes, it's a simple matter of blocking out certain subsonic frequencies. I could draw you a diagram if you want -
Dean: No, that's - We're good.
He's eager to share more about him and is willing to explain in ways the Winchesters can comprehend. Yet, he's immediately shut down before he can even finish his sentence. The active case is not an excuse for this — they could've taken up his offer but set it to a later time. They just don't care to understand.
He can listen to the police radio without any device, since it's all just waves. [At least Sam is openly surprised at this revelation.]
Castiel: Something is coming across the police band.
Sam: Wait, you can hear that?
Castiel: It's all waves.
Dean and Sam exchange looks.
Shouldn't your "friends" who have now known you for quite some time at least know what you can do? I'm honestly surprised they don't: not because I expected them to care, more so because they've always relied on Castiel for help in the past. At least as far as "usefulness" goes, they should've known more. They just have never bothered to ask. Why not?
Is it because anything to do with heaven immediately gets shut down because heaven and its inhabitants are just evil dicks? Is it because seeing Castiel possess skills much greater than them would be a reminder of the worlds separating them? Fear of inferiority? Fear of the unknown? Just the simple minded hate for the kind their friend is from? Afraid they'd have to recognize he is different than them despite their best efforts to pretend he's not?
———
Treatment of known abilities and Castiel's attempt to draw conclusions.
The next thing, Sam and Dean seemed to already know. Still, it's worth mentioning because of how they both handled it.
He can smell bodily diseases, detect sulfur or EMF and can see the human body down to the molecules.
He can determine if someone's been physically ill - which could help them exclude other causes that are not supernatural and save them the file reading. Not to mention EMF — which saves them from pulling out their devices. Why does Dean have to cut him short by demanding him to stop? No one but them was in the room anyway.
Dean: Cas, stop smelling the dead guy.
Castiel: Why? Now I know everything about this man and we can -
Sam: Do you know he was having an affair?
Castiel: What?
Dean: [while smiling] Strike one, Sherlock.
Castiel's assumption that he now knows everything was wrong — but this could've been an educating moment instead of a berating one.
Of course they are right when they say being physically ill isn't all you have to know to solve a case. The social circumstances of a person obviously do matter — Castiel is new at this (at least this close) so why is he ridiculed for a simple mistake made by not knowing better?
Some more talking about the explanation why she was having an affair via Sam. Then, scene ends with:
Dean: Heh. Guy was living a lie and it came back to bite him in the ticker. [inhales and turns to leave] But nice job on the bladder infection.
Dean could've just left it at "Strike one, Sherlock.". Yet he had to go and deliver another blow to Castiel as he left. I can accept the first one as playful banter, the second one however is just mean. It's just to shove it in Castiels face that they know better, are better, even without "angelic powers".
The demand for Castiel to stop could be reasoned with Dean just being weirded out [he is smelling a corpse after all]. However, the dislike towards what Castiel can do is clearly shown with the last jab at him; "nice job on the bladder infection."
It's really astonishing to me how even Castiel's objectively useful skills cannot take the hurdle that is the Winchesters apprehension towards what he is.
This is shown within the start of the episode even. After Castiel tells them he plans on becoming a hunter and informed them about a case, scene develops as follows:
Castiel: Excellent. I'll see you there.
Dean: Wait, Cas. Cas! You wanna play cowboys and bloodsuckers, that's fine. But you're gonna stick with us, okay? None of this zapping around crap. Capiche?
Castiel [looking away]: Yeah, I capiche.
Dean: Alright then.
Castiel: Can I uh at least ride in the front seat?
Dean and Sam: No.
First weird thing is talking about Castiel's plan to become a hunter in a metaphor to a game — yeah maybe that's just how Dean always speaks: funny metaphors, taking the seriousness out of situations. He could watch what and how he says it to his friend who's not doing well.
Secondly, the "zapping around crap". Crap? Come on now. What actually upset me about this, was the audacity to command it without solid reasoning. Castiel could've easily (e.g.) scouted the area, check out the body beforehand, yada yada — because he would've been there sooner.
Instead he's forced to sit in the backseat, drive with them.
Then of course there is the famed "I was being bad cop." - "You were being bad everything". Before I had known the context, I actually considered this funny. Now not so much anymore.
Castiel revealed that he had done research (!) on interrogation (here I am asking myself: when?) and then goes on to "bad cop" the women. Was it a terrible attempt? Yes. But it also was one of his first times. Dean and Sam did this for years. Without considering that fact, he's berated with a cutting comment from Dean again. At least this time he tells Castiel to listen how Sam does it [likely implicating that Castiel should learn from Sam].
Why not "It's good that you've done research but movies aren't actually portraying reality. You'll scare them so they won't tell you anything or they'll get mad at accusations." Yeah yeah, because this is Dean and Dean can't do compliments or direct, honest communication and he also talks with Sam like this. That doesn't make it better - it's an explanation but not an excuse.
All it would've taken to not be an ass was take Castiel out of the situation and save the comment. I'm not asking for a full on teaching moment there, but they've got plenty time in the car or in their motel room.
[Reason I considered this funny before was because I assumed it was banter between friends. Now knowing what Castiel has to deal with, how his mental state is, I think it's unfitting and inconsiderate behavior.]
———
Castiel's character.
Moving on from the underappreciated abilities Castiel possesses, I come to the blatant misperception Dean has about Castiel. It was actually shocking to me. They spoke in a motel room, where Dean then tries to convince Castiel to return to heaven and figure out what or who brought him back from purgatory.
Dean: How are you feeling, Cas?
Castiel: Fine.
Dean: Well, I just- I know that when I got puked out of purgatory it took me a few weeks to find my sea legs.
Castiel: I'm fine.
Dean: Well, don't get me wrong. I'm happy you're back. I'm frigging thrilled. It's just this whole mysterious resurrection thing. It always has one mother of a downside.
This is likely a reach, but the inquiry into Castiel's feelings doesn't seem very sincere to me in that scene. It did (!) up until the point where Dean rapidly moves onto the topic of Castiel's unexplained resurrection. How would the question about his well-being lead to the question of who resurrected him? It appears as if he's more curious about this than how Castiel is actually doing after purgatory.
Castiel: So, what do you want me to do?
Dean: Maybe take a trip upstairs.
Castiel: To heaven?
Dean: Yeah, poke around, see if the god-squad can tell us how you got out.
Castiel: No.
Dean: Look man, I hate those flying-ass monkeys just as much as you do, but-
Castiel: Dean, I said no!
To me, it was [to a degree] reasonable why Dean would request Castiel to return to heaven, despite Castiel saying that he wants nothing to do with that place anymore earlier. Resurrections without consequences never really happen in their universe. The way he went about it, however, is wrong.
What really struck me was Dean's last sentence. How little does he have to know Castiel to assume he shares his warped view on angels? How little tact does he have to possess to call angels "flying-ass monkeys" to another angel's face — to whom they are family. How can you spew hatred about a species to the one who is entirely part of it?
I truly wonder how Castiel perceives this. If he takes this as Dean separating him from them, severing a bond he wishes to nuture. Or if he assumes that Dean hates him too and only tolerates him for what use he can offer.
Dean: [after walking over to Castiel] Talk to me.
Castiel: Dean, I-. When I was bad and I had all those things, the leviathans writhing inside me, I caused a lot of suffering on earth...but I devastated heaven. I vaporized thousands of my own kind. And I can't go back.
Dean: Because if you do, the angels will kill you.
Castiel: Because if I see what heaven has become - what I [sighs] what I made of it - I'm afraid I might kill myself.
I love that Castiel here stands by his family and openly points out that he is one of them [...thousands of my own kind.]. He doesn't directly tell Dean he's wrong, but what and how he goes on to explain himself tells you all you need to know.
Dean can't understand why Castiel can't go back until he spells it out for him, because he's unable to acknowledge the relationship Castiel has with heaven, with the angels, with god. He cannot see the emotions Castiel shows because to him, the other angels are Castiel's frat bros, the god-squad. Never sister or brother. Never the same kind.
So logically to him, the only explanation is that Castiel fears the consequences of his actions. He doesn't hear the grief and regret Castiel carries for what he's done — which is ultimately the reason he doesn't want to return. To see what he brought upon his home, his family; that this would be too much.
————
Summarizing, the whole episode revealed that Dean and Sam actually lack significant knowledge of Castiel's capabilities and are horrible teachers. They don't recognize the potential Castiel possesses.
That's a long ass post now and I'm sure I lost the logical structure of it sometime in between.
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aoharushiyo · 5 months ago
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the recipes for... | track 2 — gâteau au chocolat
Translation: en Proofreading: aca, dimi, kimi, myun, jay, jelly
School. Classroom. Lunch break. After eating my lunch, I spent the rest of my break at my seat, devotedly poring over manuscripts as usual.
School. Classroom. Lunch break. After eating my lunch, I spent the rest of my break at my seat, devotedly poring over manuscripts as usual.[1] I had been holding back from spending because of yesterday's standee, but now that yesterday had happened, I had impulsively splurged on as many of the doujinshi that had escaped my grasp as I could.
"…"
Even though I had been reading in little spurts during class breaks, there were still pages upon pages to read. This must be heaven. Really, I couldn’t care less about school and classes. I was happy in this little world of my own.
And so, while I was carefully keeping a straight face — despite the wonderful world of ReiOu I was drowning in — I overheard the voices of a couple of girls whose names I didn't even know.
"Hey, have you read today's pre-release issue of Weekly Shounen Dive yet?" "Not yet!"
I mean, I'd already gotten my hands on it, of course.
"Listen, listen! In the new PatiBattle chapter, Reito and Minoru partner up!" "…Tch."
Without even thinking, I stood up from my seat. Are they stupid? Just saying spoilers like that? Something's gotta be wrong with them. At this point, it might as well be a public nuisance. I didn't want to catch another stray bullet coming my way, so I quickly made for the door.
"Get this: they're getting along really well!" "…"
The comment reached me as I was walking away, scoffing internally. A new ship being born? Whatever. I'll gladly crush new ships without any substance under my heel.
---
"Ugh, it's no use, I can't concentrate. It's all their fault…"
Not even seeking refuge in the Home Economics classroom had helped me concentrate on reading at all. As I'd expected, my mind only kept wandering. It's all their fault for yapping spoilers all over the damn place! The hell do you mean Reito and Minoru partnered up?
Minoru… Ugh, that Kaju Minoru! I had been planning to quietly read the new chapter in the safety of my room once I got home, but now, all I wanted to do was dash back to the classroom and check what really was in the new chapter.
"I can't believe people are shipping it, but I guess things are getting interesting…"
That was the charm of the manga that had me in a chokehold: PatiBattle!, which had been serialising in Weekly Shounen Dive for years. With a super-elite boarding school as a stage, its students each aim to be the world's finest patissier. A passionately youthful story harmonising dessert battles and friendship.
"The pinnacle of entertainment, the peak of passion… that's PatiBattle."
PatiBattle's Chiyoda Reito: the favourite to top all faves. Just saying that his specialty is chocolate and that he's the good-looking type obviously isn't enough to describe everything about him. Those girls from earlier must have mistaken Reito's partner as Kaju Minoru, because Reito's partner will always, always be the source of their one-sided rivalry: Tentsuki Ouji.[2] Putting Ouji's specialty, pudding, with Reito's chocolate makes for the cutest ever ship name, ChocoPudding, but the hell do you get when you put Reito and Minoru together? ChocoFruits??[3]
"I seriously can't believe it~."
I guess the ship name is pretty cute. Putting chocolate on anything makes it cute, after all. That's what makes Reito amazing. …But ReiMino is a no-go. My body would violently protest against it.
I knew my own NOTPs, but that didn't make me less of a picky otaku. Frankly, it's physically impossible for me to agree with every single interpretation of ReiOu that's out there anyway. But even so… there does exist a one-and-only god whose vision I revere above all else: Sanseiu-sensei.
I want to go to that convention. I want to meet them someday. I want to shake those hands that have created so many masterpieces…
And so, while I was draped over the table and lost in those rambling thoughts—
"So you were here, just as I thought. I was looking for you since you weren't in the classroom." "Muu-chan…"
The door to the Home Economics classroom opened, and Muneuji — the one person in the world who I could trust — stepped inside.
"Did something happen?" "Nothing. What're you doing here, Muu-chan? …Ah."
Just as I was about to stand up, my phone slipped from my grasp… …And clattered to the floor right at Muu-chan's feet.
"…!"
Right there, on full display, was the page I had been reading ― a steamy handholding scene between Reito and Ouji…[4] ―Crap! Muu-chan's gonna see!
I flew into action. Desperately, I reached down to grab my phone, but just as I did so, Muu-chan also bent down―
"Uwah―" "Waah―!"
I bumped into Muu-chan's chest, sending us both crashing to the floor. I could feel his face, his hands, his arms…
"―ngh, ah―"
Instantaneously, a shock pulsed through my body. The sensation of every hair on my body standing on end grossed me out so much that I scrambled back in a panic. All the while tightly clutching my phone.
I knew I had been rude, but all Muu-chan did, already understanding my situation, was slightly knit his brows in worry. "Is your body alright?" "…Mm. Sorry." "It's not a problem. Don't worry about it."
…Really, everything just sucks. Even though I trust Muu-chan this much. Dealing with this body's shitty tendencies… Not being able to use my money however I want because of the lawyers' administration… Not even being able to walk through crowds to meet Sanseiu-sensei.
If only―
If only that hadn't happened.
---
[1] He specifically says 同人誌データ doujinshi data here, which means a finished manuscript for a doujinshi, which is then sent to a publisher to get published. Ushio is reading them on his phone; it's implied that they were uploaded somewhere after being physically published.
[2] Ushio doesn't specify which side the one-sided rivalry comes from, just that there is one, but I've taken some context from ch5 and very broadly applied it here to assume the rivalry is Ouji → Reito. It could as well be Reito → Ouji, who knows!
[3] Minoru's name means 'fruit'. Yeah. Literally. His full name together means… 'fruit tree fruit'.
[4] Ushio uses 叡智 eichi here to describe the scene. Literally, it means 'knowledge', but in this context, it's used as an censor for 'ecchi', which has a similar sound and means 'erotic' or 'sexy'. I went with 'handholding' instead as a censor; it doesn't have the same play on words, but serves the same purpose!
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littleshopofchaos · 2 months ago
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Little Shop Of Chaos: The Basic Plot.
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This is the basic plot, I'm still working on the more detailed outline with all the backstory and stuff with the rest of the crew
Its under the cut so you dont get ya dash clogged up.
I know quite a few people are interested in this so Im tagging a few of you
@bardic-tales @moremysteriesthantragedies @glbettwrites @watermeezer @seastarblue
@pluttskutt @thorlokibrother @holfelderwrites124 @stripesysheaven @lordkingsmith
Gordon is Mr Mushnik Leighton and Cillian are Audrey and Seymour Toby is just a friend/ customer Chaos/ Cain is the abusive boyfriend Orin
So the initial plans for the story is, is that Gordon will have stopped being a cop because of money problems and wanting to find a different path in life and he settles down on Skid Row, with the dream of selling flowers. He knew Leighton and Cillian from his time on the force and after they all fall upon money problems, they all decide to work for each other and Leighton has been secretly seeing Cain for a couple of months, an abusive boyfriend who regularly beats the shit out of her.
Cillian has always had a crush on Leighton, never done anything about it until Gordon trusts him with the plant that should be called Audrey 2, will be called Leighton 2 instead and good fortune seems to be coming their way.
Gordon soon realises that his brother Cain, is the abusive boyfriend of Leighton and plots with Cillian and Leighton 2 to get rid of Cain. We get some backstory on Cain and Gordon finding each other again after the fall
Cain, the god Chaos, was cast out of the kingdom of Insomnia and Heaven and Hell by the Angels that overthrew him, made him mortal and obviously the fall to earth, hurt him. So now he had to get a real job as a dentist and is addicted to drugs and all that.
They manage to get rid of Cain, with Gordon apologising to his brother, but they’ve worked too hard to lose everything now and Cain gets fed to the plant after overdosing on painkillers anyway.
Leighton 2 is growing bigger by the day. Gordon finds out through Leighton 2, that Leighton 2 was sent by the Angels and Demons of the Kingdom of Insomnia to take over the world. Gordon tries to warn Cillian, but is promptly eaten by the plant and all that remains of him, is his jacket.
Leighton is worried about everything that has happened and is wondering if its her fault that everything has happened recently and confides in three of her friends, who point out that Gordon has been trying to get Leighton together with Cillian all along, despite the five year age gap. Leighton wonders where Gordon could have gone and starts trying to find her old boss. We get some Leighton backstory, about how she and Cillian first met and the jobs they used to do and how much money they used to make and all that
Toby, a friend of Gordon cannot find him and promptly starts an investigation into Gordon’s disappearance and ends up at the shop, where he finds Gordon’s jacket. He tries to fight back against Leighton 2 and is also promptly eaten.
Cillian has lost the plot trying to keep up with everything and keep sane and soon comes to the realisation that Leighton 2 is the problem, and tries to convince Leighton to escape Skid Row with him and leave for Ireland. They start planning their future when Leighton 2 starts mocking them, and reveals everything that has happened so far. Leighton 2 tries to take Cillian, saying Leighton deserves to live and watch as the plants take over the world, but Leighton bravely tries to stop Leighton 2
The ending: Two things could happen
Leighton could die trying to save Cillian, and both get eaten by the plant and Leighton 2 takes over Skid Row and then the world OR
Leighton manages to kill Leighton 2 with Cillian’s help and they flee Skid Row, going to Ireland and spreading the word about the crazy plants and ultimately either living happy ever after, or Leighton is raising her and Cillian’s children in their home in Ireland, when someone gives them another plant as a gift, the same plant that Leighton 2 was
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boygiwrites · 9 months ago
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Harley D. Dixon 26
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Harley D. Dixon's Pinterest Board! Harley D. Dixon's Playlist!
📖Chapter List.
Author's Note.
We. Are. Back!!
It's been almost six months!! 😶 Motivation comes and goes, but I'm very happy to be posting again. Like I said in a comment on Ao3, this book is too special to me to ever abandon. Thank you for your patience!! 💙
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When Rick kicks the stool out from under Jim's feet, there's a simple crunch sound, and then he's dead.
I watch from afar as his body dangles from the rafters like a doll filled with sand, wondering why I thought it would be louder. It feels like I can breathe again. As if I've had a noose of my own wrapped around my throat until this very moment. Jim's dead. He ain't a threat. Just dead and dangling. Silence pours out across the farm. It feels strangely comforting; a hug from somebody you thought you didn't like.
I know Dale would disagree. I don't gotta ask to know he didn't want this.
If he weren't under six feet of dirt and bugs right now, I think I'd tell him I'm sorry.
Not just for Jim having to die, but also for being angry. He knew it never did nobody any good to be angry. If I hadn't told Carl to leave that muddy walker alone, wanting it to suffer and pay for some crime weren't even its fault, then maybe Dale would still be here.
I kinda realize in this moment that I don't care if dead people don't gotta see bad things. Because Dale ain't get to see the good things anymore, either. Like books and soup. Hugs, jokes. The baby, once it's born. Neither does Momma or Sophia or Shane.
It's like Jim said. I should be dead by now. On account of all laws of nature and chance, I should be long dead.
But obviously, I ain't.
And I'd be a stupid, silly, brainless little girl to not think that makes me at least a little bit lucky.
As I fiddle with the metal buckle of my overalls, Dad and Rick carry Jim outta the shed, their hands hooked around the dead man's armpits and ankles. Carol's probably thinking something like, He's with his loved ones now. But I ain't Carol, and I don't believe in heaven, so all I'm thinking is, I hope it didn't hurt. I've never had my neck snapped before, so I wouldn't know. They shuffle over to the pile of wood and walker bodies, tossing him on top, dusting their hands off on their pants. They's gonna burn him. No graves for them that ain't family.
Good. We have enough of those, anyway.
Dad and Rick turn away from the pile, their faces largely blank.
Before they can see me, I stand from my spot near the fence and scurry away, because I know I'm not meant to be watching.
That morning, everybody gets busy doing something. Whether it's bringing supplies into the house or cleaning a grimy rifle, nobody's twiddling they thumbs. There's something about putting work into a thing that needs it that clears the mind, I guess. Stops us from thinking about Jim, anyhow. Me, I help out by going around with a basket of fresh fruit, handing them out to anybody who wants some.
The first people I swing by are Rick and T. They've begun reinforcing the fences together, using old metal sheets and planks of wood to barricade any weak points they find. They gratefully take a juicy pear each, leaning against their handiwork to bite into the sweet flesh, groaning at the taste. Something nice happens in my chest when I see them smile. It's like looking at a puppy. You just can't be sad.
"Wow, this is good," T-Dog nods, turning the fruit over in his hand. "Thanks, Harley."
Rick doesn't say nothin', but I'm just glad to see him enjoying himself. Even for just a moment.
I head over to Patricia and Carol next, who are scrubbing at some laundry over by the trees. I earn myself two more smiles when they take a couple peaches, leaving them to their own devices and making my way through everyone else. Herschel, keeping Maggie company as she hangs up some wet clothes over a line in the sun. Jacqui and Lori, tidying up camp a bit, preparing lunch. Jimmy, polishing guns.
When I give a pear to Dad, who's fixing some of his crossbow bolts, he kisses my cheek as thanks.
And Beth. I don't forget her. She sits in the bay window of her bedroom, nibbling away at a green apple.
I know eating a good piece of fruit ain't never stopped nobody from wanting to kill themselves, but everything counts.
I've only got a peach, apple, and a pear left tumbling around in my basket when I approach Glenn and Andrea. They're stood around the hood of Dale's RV, frowning into the rubber tubes and gears like there's a jigsaw puzzle in there, muttering to each other.
"You gotta tap it three times," I think he's saying, pointing at something, "And—"
"— And give her a twist," Andrea sighs, throwing her hands up. "I know, I know."
Glenn notices me out the corner of his eye. He doesn't light up exactly, but the tension leaves his shoulders. "Oh. Hey, Harley."
"Hey." I give a little smile, holding out the basket. "Y'all want some fruit?"
"Ugh. Yes, please."
They each pick one out, leaving me with the apple. I toss the basket onto the nearby folding chair and bite into its waxy skin, the sugary juices leaking down my chin. It's sweet as candy. Well, from what I remember candy tastin' like, anyway. It's delicious.
Andrea seems to agree. "God. Remind me to always become stranded on a farm with an orchard."
Glenn bites a chunk out of his peach as he takes the screwdriver from the blonde, scooting around her to stand in front of the exposed engine. "Here. Let me have a go... Dale told me that in these old vehicles, the points get corroded."
I wipe my sticky chin, watching as he pokes around with the small tool.
Dale knew everything there was to know about this RV. Whenever it broke down, he didn't even need to check beneath the hood before he knew exactly what was wrong with it. Hell, even I've picked up on its quirks by now, and I know jack about vehicles. There's all sorts of screws and bolts and duck tape crammed into the poor thing's inner workings, but it just refuses to die. Like a stubborn old mule. 
A bit like Dale. No matter how many times ya put that old man down, he'd come back ten times stronger.
"I let him down," Glenn suddenly sighs, and it's easy to know who he's talking about.
I glance over his shoulder, through the front windshield. Dale's ridiculous amount of souvenir air fresheners still hang from the mirror. Oklahoma. Illinois. Missouri. Kansas. That ain't even half of 'em. We used to tease him about them, but he always just laughed us off and recited some philosophical quote from a dead guy about how memories feed the soul, or whatever.
Nobody ever understood it when he said stuff like that, but I still know we all miss it.
"He was proud of you," Andrea tells him; then me, "Both of you."
I sheepishly look away, picking at the stem of my apple. No, he weren't. But that's nice of her to say.
"That's easy for you to say." Glenn shakes his head. "You had his back."
She doesn't know what to say for a moment.
"Well... All I know is that there's no way he didn't know how much we all cared for him, even in the end. He was too smart for that."
I got no doubts about that. He knew everything. Knew everything about the RV, about poetry, about us. He was just one of them types of people. I only wish I hadn't argued with him that day, but I argue with Dad all the time, and he still loves me. So, can't all be bad.
Glenn pulls back from the engine with a resolute, "Welp... That should do it."
When Andrea climbs inside and twists the key into the ignition, I'm proven right. This old RV just refuses to die.
"Well done, Glenn," I smile over the noise of the engine. "You did it."
He turns to me with a smile of his own, looking proud of himself.
After that, he and Dad leave the farm to search for a hearing aid. 
Maggie hands them a list of houses they can try their luck in, and then we exchange the usual goodbye hugs and kisses before waving them off. There ain't no use in sitting around, wondering if they're going to get bitten and die because of me, so I leave to find something I can distract myself with instead. Luckily, Rick and T-Dog are more than happy to let me help them out with the fences.
If we're gonna get serious about staying here at the farm, we're gonna have to make some upgrades.
I obidiently tail them as they work, lugging around a bucket filled with rusty nails to pass to them.
"You know, Harley," Rick grunts as he hammers a scrap of metal to the wooden posts, "Carl still ain't stopped chewin' my ear off about all those things you taught him the other day. If I have to hear the word 'mushroom' one more time... I'll go crazy."
I pluck a nail from the pile and hand it to T-Dog.
Just to be annoying, I say, "Mushroom, mushroom, mushroom."
"Hey. Watch it." He scolds me, but not very well. He's smiling. "Anyway. You two ain't on good terms right now, are you?"
I raise a brow. "How'd ya know?"
"Well, I figured you'd be playin' with him right now if you were. And to be honest, he's been in a bit of a mood lately."
I huff a little, silently cursing Rick's parents for making him like this. "We squabbled. That's all."
He hums thoughtfully.
"Whenever I argued with my sisters," T-Dog tells us, "They'd start messin' with me. They'd hide my Xbox controller. Eat my snacks."
Rick chuckles. "They sound nice."
"Yeah, you could say that," He chuckles along with him. "A real pair of peaches."
"Well, Carl ain't done any of that," I suppose, adjusting the bucket in my grasp, "But he did call me a stupid baby."
Rick turns to look at me. "What?"
"He snitched on me about the shed and called me a stupid baby. Then I told him I hated his guts."
As I stand there, he fixes at me with a funny, What am I going to do with you?, sort of look, until he returns his attention to the work at hand. "Well, he was right to 'snitch' on you, but I'll have a talk with him when I can. It's not okay to name-call."
"I think it's 'cause he's gonna be a brother soon." I think aloud. "He said he's gotta protect me."
T-Dog argues, "You got all of us here to protect you. Boy's got nothing to stress about."
"I know. He just likes bein' somebody's keeper."
Hammering the last nail into the metal, Rick gives the thing a bit of a shake to test its strength, pleased to see it won't budge.
"Okay, I think this one's good." He decides. "Let's move onto the next one."
As we gradually make our way down the fence line, we continue chatting away about other useless things. The weather, future plans for the farm. Something we don't talk about, though, is the baby inside Lori's belly. I don't think Rick wants to think about it, let alone talk about it. He must be mulling over all the hundreds of things that could go wrong. As the leader, that's his special talent.
By the time we reach the area around the barn, I'm not listening to the conversation anymore. It's difficult to concentrate on making out their voices for such a long time, so I just tune myself out, absentmindedly gazing past the two of them, into the field.
That's when I notice something off about the burning pile.
It's still sitting there, a boring bunch of wood and junk, but the problem is I can't seem to spot Jim's body on it.
I know they didn't move it to some other place, and it's definitely not been lit on fire yet, so it can't be that.
When Rick holds out his hand for me to pass him another nail, I leave him hanging. He frowns down at me in concern; confusion. I think he says my name, but then he follows my gaze, followed suit by T-Dog. I can tell the exact moment they catch on.
"Okay," T-Dog levels with nobody in particular, holding up his hands, "That's creepy as shit."
"Stay here," Rick wearily tells us, before jogging away to investigate.
I don't need to be told twice. Clutching the bucket to my stomach like it's a teddy bear, I huddle closer to T, letting him step in front of me as if a chupacabra is gonna pop out from under the debris and gobble us all up. We watch Rick approach the burn pile, creeping up on it, concerned he might wake it up. He peeps this way and that, the hammer held tight in his grasp, ready to strike.
Was Jim bit, I find myself wondering, Was he bit, and we just didn't notice?
No. No, that can't be right. If he was bit, he would've turned long before we had the chance to hang him.
Rick flinches backward. He gawks at his own two feet. I think he might've crossed paths with a snake, or even that chupacabra, but then a hand shoots out from behind the burn pile and we learn the thing tryna bite him ain't an animal. It's got black hair and a grubby red shirt, a pair of milky eyeballs. It's Jim. He crawls after Rick like he's tryna avenge his own death, his neck still swollen and wrong.
Once he's absorbed his own shock, Rick brings the hammer down on Jim's skull, but he's fresh, so it's not mushy like it is usually. He has to bludgeon him two, three, four more times before the bone cracks open like an egg, wet brains dribbling down his face.
We all catch our breaths. I don't think any of us were prepared to watch Jim die twice today.
"Where was the bite?" T-Dog calls out, sounding like he's about to barf all over himself.
Rick kneels to check under Jim's shirt, flip him over, roll up his pant legs, because of course he does. There has to be a bite.
But when he stands, he calls back, "I can't see one."
There's a gaping pause between us all.
"Well, it ain't on his ass cheek, is it?"
Rick raises a brow as he steps over the body. "You wanna go check, be my guest."
"Nah, thank you, man." He answers drily, eyeing the blood dripping from the head of the hammer. "Well, what the Hell happened?"
Instead of telling us he doesn't know, or offering up a theory, Rick just sighs. He tosses the hammer into the little wagon we've been pulling along with us, rubbing at the faint wrinkles on his forehead. I remain hiding behind T-Dog. I know there's no snake or chupacabra to be heard of, and now, not even a Jim. But I don't like the danger in the air. The danger of something being wrong and not knowing what it is.
Rick lowers his hand, gaze landing on me. He keeps it there for a moment.
To be a walker, you gotta get bit. I can't see one. Everyone knows that.
"Come on," He eventually mutters, reaching to take the heavy bucket from me. "Let's get back to the house."
"Rick, what's wrong?" I whine as he grabs my hand. "We ain't workin' on the fence no more? Why?"
T-Dog snatches up the handle of the wagon and hurries after us.
"Don't worry about it, honey," He soothes, giving my fingers a squeeze. "The grownups will handle it, okay?"
Rick says this, just like he always has, but all he does when we get back to camp is eat lunch and talk to Maggie about our progress on the fence. I decide it's not a big deal. I trust him. Maybe he's just waiting until me and Carl aren't around to talk with the other adults about it. Maybe Jim did somehow get bit while he was in the shed. Maybe it really was on his ass cheek. I won't pretend to know.
In any case, I dig into my scrambled eggs and buttered bread without giving it much more thought.
After lunch, the three of us go back to working on the fence, anyway.
"Hope you enjoyed the apple."
With her forehead resting against the window, Beth gazes down at the farm, like some lonely angel peering down at another world. The afternoon sun gently contours the subtle curves of her girlish face, which isn't looking nearly as dreadfully pale as it did before.
"I did," She answers sweetly, smiling as I come to sit next to her on the thin cushions. "Thanks, by the way."
I give a shrug. "Yer sister says peach and pear season's just about up, so all we's got for a while is apples, anyway."
She surprises me by giggling at me, a pretty tinkling sound that suits her. "That shouldn't be a problem for you, right?"
My cheeks go warm. "Huh?"
"I saw you," She explains, a fondness in her eyes. "Chowin' down on that apple just before."
"When I was wit' Glenn and Andrea?"
She nods. "You were smiling. It was nice."
I contemplate calling her a stalker, but all that comes outta my mouth is an amused scoff, rolling my eyes and turning to look out the window. I understand why she likes it up here. I can see the whole farm. People milling about camp, chickens pecking at the ground. And off in the distance, the herd of black cows dotting the paddocks like little beetles, munching on bales of hay. And quiet. Precious quiet.
I glance at the distant treeline, thinking about the recent whispers of the horde. I brush it off quick as I can.
I steal a glance at Beth, instead.
That little smile is still pulling at her lips, a lively glint in the soft green of her eyes.
For some reason - mainly my talent for speaking without thinking - I ask her suddenly, "Do you still wanna die?"
She stiffens ever so slightly, and I only have a few short moments to feel awful about it before she meets my eyes.
"I just mean," I continue, wishing I ever knew the right thing to say. I think back to when Carl was in my exact position, asking nicely for me to not do what Beth did. He also threatened to smack me in the face, but I don't imagine that would go over too well with Beth. Neither would shouting at her like Dad. So, I just do something stupid, another one of my talents, and I improvise. "I been worried about you. Not, like, pity or nothin', but... I know how you feel. And after Dale... I realized that just 'cause people die, it don't mean I gotta die, too. It ain't a reason to wanna die. It's a reason to wanna live. 'Cause I'm just glad I ever knew Dale and Sophia and everyone else that died at all."
I feel encouraged by her glassy expression to keep talking. Not that I could stop myself if I tried.
"So that makes us lucky, y'know. Yer Momma's dead. My Momma's dead. But we loved 'em, and you can keep lovin' other people, but not if you're in a grave somewhere. Besides, it would just pass it on to them that would miss us. Not worth it, if ya ask me."
When I finish my word puke, she pins me with a tense, watery look that makes my insides cramp up.
"Maggie told me," She says, "That if I decided to keep living, that I'd find moments where I'd know I made the right decision."
She takes a deep breath, chuckling afterward.
"I think this is one of those moments," She decides.
"It is?"
I feel a weird sense of pride. I know me and my stupid apple and bad advice didn't singlehandedly solve anythin', but I was able to make her realize she don't got nothin' to regret by surviving her own mind, and that's more than enough for me.
I nod, trying not to smile, because this is supposed to be a serious moment. "Good. That's... good."
Her chuckles turn into laughter. "Why you so awkward all the darn time, Harley?"
Then I'm being wrapped up in a hug. I hate hugs. But this one ain't too terrible.
When we part, I ask her, "Are we friends?"
She seems to find that funny. "'Course."
"Well, my Dad and Glenn are gonna be gone for a few more hours," I tell her, "So, we should play something 'til then."
Beth warns me that she's seventeen years old, so she might not be able to play the same way me and Carl play, but that's okay. We don't have to play pretend or anything. We can do something she likes. Apparently, that's painting our nails. I have to try not to pull a face, but I guess I end up pulling one anyway, because she bursts into giggles and pulls me to my feet. I'm not the biggest fan of girly things. It's just not what I grew up with. I'm used to scuffing my nails while climbing trees and playing in the dirt, not painting them. But I'll give it a go.
"What's your favorite color?" She asks me, setting me down on her bed and rummaging through her desk.
"Yellow," I chirp.
"Actually," She lilts, pulling out a little bottle of yellow polish, squinting at the label. "It's Electric Spring Citrus."
I scoot over to make room for her on the bed, presenting my nails to her.
The afternoon slips away easily after that.
Nighttime paints over the orange sky.
Me and Beth have migrated downstairs by the time the sun has disappeared beneath the farm, lured in by the domestic commotion of dinner being prepared. It's soup again. I recognise the smell by now. While we wait to be served by Maggie and Patricia, the rest of us gather around the coffee table, ribbing each other as we break the rules of a card game Jacqui suggests. Carl keeps cheating by lying about what cards he has, but he's too dumb to realize he'll have to show them to us at some point. I laugh hysterically when he loses.
"You weren't listenin' to the rules, was ya?" I enjoy taunting him as he goes red. "Typical!"
He complains, "Shut up, Harley!"
"Okay, okay," Lori placates, doing a very bad job of hiding her smile behind her fan of cards. "Settle down."
I almost don't think about Dad and Glenn or Dale or Sophia or Shane or Momma for the whole game. By my standards, that makes for a good time. Carl continues losing miserably, whining even more miserably-er, while Jacqui beats us over and over again.
I'm reminded of the night we had our first dinner together - The one where Patricia made everyone feel super uncomfortable, and then I almost died. It's hard to believe this is the same house and the same people. Probably because it's filled with laughter.
We continue playing even through dinner.
When I lose for the fifth time, I take my bowl of soup and retire to one of the sofas, settling in next to Rick and quietly sipping at the warm broth. He sends me a bit of a look as if to ask me if I'm okay, probably reading my face in that weird way he got, noticing I'm thinking about Dad and Glenn. I reply with a simple nod. He doesn't seem satisfied with that response, but he can't do nothin' about it.
It's too noisy in here for him to talk to me, and neither of us know a single lick of sign language.
So, he just gives me a thumbs up and hopes it gets the point across. They'll be okay.
Eventually, even Herschel gets roped into playing.
"Hey, I actually happen to know a thing or two about this," He tells us, before proceeding to eviscerate Jacqui at her own game.
We all go awww, as she throws down her cards.
"Darn..." She sighs. "You weren't lyin', old man."
"As Jesus as my witness," He holds up a hand, "I never lie."
Lori asks, "Where'd you learn to get this good?"
"I used to spend a lot of my time in bars, young lady." He explains. "I got more than enough practice finessing card games."
"Well, I'd say it paid off."
He raises his fluffy white brows. "They used to call me Great-Hand Greene back in the day, you know."
Everybody in the room can't help but laugh.
"Now, Daddy," Maggie exclaims, "That's a lie!"
Great-Hand Greene calmly enlightens her, "It surely isn't."
This is the moment headlights turn into the driveway. Everyone turns to look. My heart squeezes. Dad and Glenn. The two lights come to a sudden stop, watching us like two eyeballs through the dark. The sound of doors slamming. I place my bowl on the coffee table and hurry out of the lounge room, followed by some other footsteps. But when I reach the foyer, the door bursts open without my doing.
Dad first, then Glenn. Both of my lungs deflating in relief, and then both of them knotting right back up again.
"That horde's headed this way," Dad wastes no time in announcing, "And it ain't stopping for nothin'."
Everybody freezes. A horde? The horde? Headed our way? Right now?
Rick pushes past everyone. "You saw it?"
"Trust me, man." He jokes dryly, shaking his head. "You can't miss this thing anymore."
"There were hundreds of them," Glenn agrees, frantic. His hair is suckered to his forehead with sweat, even though the season's turned. "We were over by Mallory Road when we caught wind of them; got us stuck for a couple hours until we could slip past."
"Not that it matters now," Dad snides.
Maggie asks, "Were you able to get the hearin' aid?"
He gives a nod, but nobody's paying attention. "Bits and pieces."
"Patricia," Herschel orders, our card game long forgotten, "Kill the lights."
We follow Rick out onto the porch. The night welcomes us with a cold gust of wind. At first, I can't see much of anythin', but then the lights blink out one by one and my stomach drops into the floorboards. On the other side of the field, leaking out from between the trees, are bodies, bodies, and bodies, so many it's not worth trying to count. They make the group on the highway look like a couple of stragglers.
As the masses of feet stumble up the driveway, I'm hit with the feeling that our fences aren't going to save us.
"I'll get the guns." Andrea mutters, and I think that feeling has hit everyone else, too.
Rick runs off in the direction of the cars. It's where we've kept our bags of emergency supplies for a time like this. Does that mean we're gonna leave? Or are we gonna fight? Is it even possible? I didn't even get to finish my soup. That feels important, somehow.
"Maybe they're just passing." Somebody stupidly guesses. "Like that herd on the highway."
"Should we go back inside?"
"Not unless there's a tunnel downstairs I don't know about." Dad drawls, gazing out. "Horde this size will rip the house down."
I worry up at him, "Daddy, I don't want it to rip the house down."
He shushes me, putting a strong hand on the nape of my neck, squeezing reassuringly. I let it calm me. I feel a fool for panicking, but if there were ever a time to panic, it would be now. I cling to him as Andrea dumps the bag of guns on the floor. She passes them out to everyone that got two thumbs and a brain. Maggie, Glenn, Dad, Rick. Jimmy. Even Herschel. Nobody is being left out of this fight.
Not even me and Carl. A gun is pushed each of our hands. You know how to use it, I remind myself.
"This the plan, then?" Dad confirms with everyone, because it's crazy. "We take 'em all on?"
Andrea passes me a loaded mag. I don't have to count the bullets inside to know it's not enough.
"We have guns. We have cars."
"We kill as many as we can." She's on board. "We'll use the cars to lead the rest of them off the farm."
"The burn pile," Glenn adds, "There's a bunch of kerosine and matches down there. We could lure them into the barn, set it on fire."
Rick climbs back onto the porch. "Bags are all packed. If things start to get hairy, we can leave."
"We're not leaving." Herschel argues.
"Herschel—"
"This is my farm." His voice booms as he pumps a pair of fat bullets into his shotgun's chamber, fire in his eyes. "I'll die here."
"Alright." Dad lilts over the droning rumble of death incoming, looking around for objections. "It's as good a night as any."
I get herded into Maggie's car. Dad gives my face a kiss and slams the door shut. I bump the mag up into the chamber. I know how to use it. I do. Two more slams. Glenn at the wheel, Maggie in the passenger seat. I've shot two walkers before, when I was out in the woods with Shane. I just have to do it again. And after that, again and again until they're all gone. Glenn stomps on the gas. The car screeches forward, ripping through the grass, barrelling into the night. I don't even bother buckling myself in. That's not how I would die tonight.
"You got enough ammo back there, honey?" Maggie fusses, digging through the glovebox and throwing me a spare.
"Thanks." I catch the cardboard box, trying not to shiver as Glenn rolls down all the windows. Groans and wind flood the car.
He shouts, "Start shooting!"
Just like that, gunshots erupt from all possible angles.
I grip my pistol tight, aim it out the window. You're gonna hold it like this, Shane's voice tells me, Firm. Confident. You're the one in control, here. I'm in control. My home's bein' invaded by the dead, and a horde this size might rip the house down, but I'm in control. The car spins. I lurch. It's hard to aim like this, but I gotta try. I line my eye up with the wobbling sight. I breathe in and out.
I squeeze. BANG. 
I can't even tell what I hit, or if I hit anything at all, but it don't matter. I squeeze again. BANG.
Glenn weaves us in and out, around, through the horde, never getting too close, never veering too far.
In the other car, T-Dog, Andrea, and Carl. They swerve around us, shooting down every dead bastard they can hit.
I squeeze. BANG.
BANG, and again, BANG, and again, BANG.
The jaw of a nearby walker explodes off its meaty hinges. It swings around. It trips. It slumps. I've killed it.
"How we doing back there, Harley?" Glenn calls out. "You okay?"
"I— I'm fine!" I shout back, pulling my body back into my seat to reload.
I peel open the box of ammo. A curse falls from my tongue when the little bullets go tumbling onto my feet, rolling under the seats. I quickly snatch them up, shoving them into the mag. On the other side of the car door, fireworks of gunpowder and bullets, squealing tires and breaking bones, a blazing Hellfire lighting up the sky. Orange and roaring. I notice it, then. Dad. Rick. That must be them. They've set the barn on fire. It's cracking and falling to pieces, a burning church. The walkers fight to get inside like it's the last Sunday on Earth.
An important beam succumbs to the flames, snapping in half like a broken twig, bringing the rest down with it.
I hear wood breaking, and then there are chickens running lose across the field, screaming, flapping.
I squeeze and I squeeze and I squeeze. BANG.
A rotten old man crumples to the ground. BANG.
A lady's shoulder bursts open, a pop of bone and muscle. BANG.
A girl with one of the poor birds in her mouth, choking on feathers, dead. BANG.
For every one we kill, five more are there within a heartbeat to replace it. Glenn's foot falters on the pedal, and we come to a crawl, and then a stop, unable to do much but watch as the farm is consumed. This is a losing battle. There's no other type.
Herschel said we weren't leaving tonight, but that can't be true. I guess he is a liar, after all.
"We gotta go," Maggie's shaking her head, the tears in her eyes collecting like little pearls. "We're not gonna win this. We gotta go."
As if only to prove her point, the barn collapses once and for all. I almost feel like crying.
"I'm sorry, Maggie." Glenn says weakly.
Yeah. Me, too. I gaze out at the oak tree, still standing bravely; the little wooden crosses clueless beneath it.
As Glenn drives us back into the chaos, my pistol stays in my lap. I don't got any bullets left, anyway. I just sit there, watching everything pan by. Mine and Dad's camping spot, tucked away in the distant trees, just how we liked it. The crumbled fireplace where I talked to Dale for the last time. The shed. The swing outside it me and Carl used to play on. The orchard. The patch of dirt where Sophia died.
I wish I had the power to know when things were gonna end. That way, I could've savoured my last day.
It's not as cool as the superpower's them people in Carl's comics got, but it's the one I'd want.
It was silly. Working on the fences today with Rick and T-Dog made me think we were gonna be okay.
When I look up, we're approaching the house. Jacqui's sitting on the porch steps all by herself, staring out at us.
Glenn pulls us in close, getting out and hovering around the hood of the car, waving her over. "Come on! We gotta go!"
I crawl across the seats and shove open the door. "Jacqui? Come on!"
She's not coming. Why is she not coming? The door is open. We can all leave together. When I call out her name again, she convulses ever so slightly, as if she's got a bad cough but doesn't wanna let it out. I feel my face fall all at once. Her arm gives out, slumping from her neck, into her lap. I notice the blood first, all ten gallons of it, and then the bite. Her muscles spasm again. Oh. No, no, no.
"Jacqui?" I call out uselessly, but Glenn's already back in the driver's seat and Jacqui's already dying.
"C-Close your door, Harley," He orders, slamming his own.
She's dying. We can't stay here. I know both these things, but it still takes everything in me to pull the door shut.
After that, the deaths just keep coming. We drive past Patricia as the horde pull her into their mouths, Jimmy as he stumbles from the RV, clutching at his open throat. There's nothing we can do for any of them, but we manage to reach Carol just in time. She climbs into the seat next to me, and we ask her if she's seen anybody else, but she hasn't; she hasn't seen anybody.
Turning my face to the open window, I let the wind dry my tears, seein' as my Daddy ain't here to do it for me.
The faces of the horde pass by, a sea of rats on a burning ship.
I want to go collect my things. I want to pet the cows one last time. I want to do everything we won't get to.
My body lurches all on its own, then.
A face in the crowd. It's different from the rest. I'm not good with faces or names, something my teachers used to grumble over, but I'm good with this one. That one walker, tucked in with the rest of them, wearing the Police cap. It's Shane Walsh, dead and walking.
How? How is that possible? Why are the tears back tenfold, now?
Lit by the moon and the flames, I see his broken cheekbones for the first time since that day, the way they're bulbous like apples, mishappen like clay. Everything about him is wrong. His nose is broke. Clothes all mussed up. Ribs pouring. His eyes are glossed over. He don't seem to mind his broken body, or the fire, or the smoke. He just wants what all other walkers want. To bite into something. It's him, but not.
I almost want him to look at me. I clutch my locket, wanting our eyes to meet just to make him prove it.
This just can't be true. He didn't get bit. He got shot and beaten, but he didn't get bit.
As if I've willed him to do it, he looks my way.
"Carol," I croak, watching as he noses at the air like the animal Dad always said he was, "You got any bullets left?"
I feel something being placed in my hand. It feels just like the locket, but colder. I shakily load it into the chamber; lift the gun. I believe in you, His voice is back. Now line your eye up with the sight. I stare down the barrel, carefully placing his face on top of the sights. I only have this one bullet. I can't miss. Not only because I need to put him down, but because I think I want to make him proud.
Breathe, I take a deep breath, In and out. 
Damn it. These fuckin' tears, they're messing up my aim. I smack them away and line up my shot again.
And squeeze.
BANG.
All the air rushes outta my lungs as his body hits the ground, disappearing amongst the horde.
I lower the gun.
Carol's already looking at me before I glance her way.
When we peel onto the highway, I can still see the flames burning over the tops of the trees, like some old religious painting.
Maggie breaks the silence. "What if nobody else made it?"
Nobody answers. I preferred it when the only noise in the car was the gentle humming of the engine, but I can't blame her for asking. We got no idea who else made it out alive. The four of us are all alone out here. Ain't no phone number we can just dial to ask if they're alright.
"They made it," Glenn eventually just decides, staring out at his high beams on the dark road. "They had to."
"Well, how are we going to find them?" Carol asks innocently, petting my hair as I lay my head in her lap. "They could be anywhere."
Maggie sighs. "We could circle back to that place I found y'all on the highway?"
"No," Mumbles Glenn. I can see his finger tapping against the wheel. "No, the horde came from that direction."
That's where our ideas run dry.
"Glenn?" I whine, clutching at my temple. He glances at me in the mirror, concern in his eyes. "My head. The ringing. Hurts."
He makes a troubled sound. "It must've been all those gunshots... I'm sorry."
Carol suggests, "Maybe we should just stop somewhere for the night."
There's a pause between them, but it's a short one, because it doesn't take much for Glenn to agree. He's musing to himself about how we can't drive all night. It would be a better use of gas to drive in the daylight. But really, we all know it's because he's a big softie.
He pulls us into a little nook on the side of the highway, killing the engine and turning on the ceiling light.
"I'm sorry," He says again, as if he put the ringing inside my head himself. "Maybe there's something in the supplies?"
Maggie unzippers the bag at her feet, pushing around the stuff inside it, shaking her head. "Just some water. Thirsty?"
I shake my head.
"I think we should all get some sleep." Says Carol, her voice a whisper.
Yeah. A good sleep sounds really good right about now. I think we've earnt it. Georgia will still be here when we wake up.
"Okay." He reaches up to press the ceiling button that turns on the moon, its dim white light spilling across the console in the dark. We all loosen slightly, completely exhausted. "We can just pick up again tomorrow. I'm sure the others are doing the same thing."
"Goodnight," Maggie tries to smile, reaching around her seat to stroke my shoulder.
"Goodnight," I mumble, echoed by Glenn and Carol, and then it's silent.
I close my eyes.
No eggs and buttered bread for breakfast today. Just a stale granola bar I gotta split with Carol, and a sip of water I gotta split with all three of them. After we take turns peein' in the bushes outside, we're back on the road again, and we're on it all day.
I don't know where we're going. I don't think Glenn knows, either.
I'm starting to think we might be driving all night, too, by the time we run into the others. That's right, the others. Herschel's shitty old pick-up truck is parked in a swath of brown leaves on the side of the road, right next to Dad's truck and bike, and another grey car.
When Glenn pulls on the brake, I think we're all crying happy tears, but I'm too busy crying happy tears to notice.
I climb out, grinning, running into my Dad's arms.
"Harley," He sighs in relief as he picks me up, squeezes me tight. "I knew they'd take good care of ya."
"I knew you'd take good care of you," I giggle, hooking my chin over his shoulder.
"How did you guys find each other?" Glenn marvels.
"Well, when I saw their little Toyota goin' the speed limit," He nods behind him, "Figured there just had to be a cop at the wheel."
As chuckles break out between the group, he places me back on the ground.
Maggie asks, "Where's the rest of us?"
"We're the only ones that made it so far," Rick answers, and it's now I notice just how much smaller we are now; barely ten. We're just as alone as we were when it was just me, Glenn, Maggie, and Carol. No shelter, no food, no direction. Feathers in the wind.
"Where's Andrea?"
Lori shakes her head. "She was with us at the farm, but we got separated."
"Did you see Jacqui?"
Jacqui. Poor Jacqui. Maggie, Glenn, and I share a look without even meaning to.
"It was awful, Dad," I mutter, the memory caught in my throat, "We found 'er by the house, but we had to leave her behind."
Glenn explains, "She was bit."
"They got Patricia, too." Beth says. "Took her right in front of me. I was holdin' onto her, Daddy, but they just..."
"We saw Jimmy, too." Maggie sighs as Herschel wraps her little sister in a hug. "He was in the RV. It got overrun."
"But, you guys definitely saw Andrea?"
"There— There were walkers everywhere," Lori seems sorry to say, "But, yeah. We saw her."
"Well, we have to go back for her."
Rick argues, "We don't even know if she's still there."
"She ain't." Dad butts in. "She's either somewhere else or she's dead."
"So, we're not even gonna look for her?"
"No. We gotta keep moving." Rick agrees. "There's walkers all over the place."
Maggie scoffs, "That's an understatement if I ever heard one."
"I say we head East." Dad suggests, pointing vaguely in the direction of the sinking sun, cresting through the fog. "Head East, and stay off any main roads like this one. Bigger the road, the more walkers we gon' run into. The more assholes like this one."
He lifts his hands from where he's been resting them on my back, swinging the crossbow off his shoulder.
"I got him." He grumbles, sending a bolt through the stray walker's nose.
"Well, I hate to tell you guys," T-Dog scratches at his head, "But we been riding red for the past hour."
"We can't all fit into two cars."
Rick decides, "We'll have to make a run for some gas in the morning."
"Spend the night here?" Beth hisses, shivering lightly. "I'm freezin'."
"We'll build a fire." He gestures at my Dad. "You can go out lookin' for firewood, but stay close."
He raises a greasy brow. "I only got so many arrows, man. We can't just sit here with our asses hangin' out."
"Watch your mouth," He snips.
Glenn raises his hands at the group. "Everyone just stop panicking, and listen to Rick."
"Look, Glenn and I can go make a run right now," Maggie placates, "Try and scrounge up some gas so we can get back on the road."
"No." He shuts her down. "We stay together. God forbid something happens and people get stranded without a car."
That other side of Rick is back - Someone I might as well start callin' Second Rick; Scary Rick - and everyone can tell. It's the same one that was outside the shed, telling us with no room for argument that he was going to execute Jim. He's tense. He's a rubber band pulled tight, his eyes darting from face to face, just waiting for a flash of disagreement from somebody for him to pounce on.
I make sure he don't find one on my face. I'm not keen on upsettin' him.
Glenn's a little braver than me, though, because he says incredulously, "Rick, we're stranded now."
He shakes his head. Not listening. Not accepting it. Just, No, no, no. 
"I know it looks bad," He reasons, even though we don't need to be told. "We've all been through Hell and worse. But we found each other. I wasn't sure. I really wasn't, but..." He scans our faces again, a little less coldly this time, taking us all in. "But we did it. We're together, and that's all that matters. We'll find shelter someplace. It's gotta be out there somewhere. It's gotta be."
But we had shelter already, I feel like shouting at him, I don't want another one.
"Rick, look around, okay?" Glenn's voice raises. "There's walkers everywhere. They're— They're migrating or something."
"There's gotta be a place not just where we hole up," Rick doubles down without care for what he's saying, smacking his knuckles into his palm. "But that we can fortify. Hunker down. Pull something together for ourselves. Build a life for each other."
That's what we tried to do at the farm. He should know that. He was the one fixing the fences with me.
"I know it's out there," He says angrily, as if that place he's talkin' about is hiding just to spite him. "We just have to find it."
I muster up the courage to voice my thoughts.
"But, Rick," I say, "How many those places we already been?"
He shakes his head again. "We fooled ourselves into thinking they were safe. We won't make that mistake again."
At the quarry, our mistake was being too close to the city. That was way back in the beginning when nobody had died yet, and we thought we just had to wait it out until the army came. But they didn't. And after that, our second mistake was trusting Jenner. We wanted answers, but we almost lost everything trying to get 'em. Then, the farm. I guess that was a mistake, too, now. You never know 'til after.
I don't say anything to that. It's cold, and I'm hungry, and I don't want to argue any more.
He's pleased with my silence. "Okay... We make camp tonight here; get back on the road at the break of day."
Carol murmurs something.
Whatever it was, Beth agrees with her. "What if walkers come through, or another group like Jim's?"
"Speaking of Jim," T-Dog fixes Rick with a look. "We ever gonna talk about him?"
Lori's confused. "What do you mean? What could possibly be left to talk about?"
"We saw him turn," He's happy to reveal to everyone. "Thing is, though, he wasn't bit."
"How is that possible?"
"Shane, too." I blurt. "I— I saw him when the farm went down."
Lori turns her gawking expression onto her husband. "What the Hell is going on?"
He's not looking at any of us. He's glaring at some ordinary pebble on the ground, brooding, hesitating.
Then, "We're all infected."
What?
It's so vague and profound that nobody knows what to make of it.
My Dad does us all a favor and squints at him. "How you mean?"
"At the CDC," He confesses, his voice a hoarse whisper that I can only just make out, "Jenner told me. Whatever it is, we all carry it."
We all carry—? The germs that make the dead ones come back? We all carry them?
He's been lyin' to us this whole time. The CDC, that was months ago.
Sometimes, lying ain't just sayin' something. It's not sayin' something. Daddy taught me that the night I told him I'd had a good day at school, and then come dinnertime, I let it slip that Ethan, the boy that sat behind me in class, had actually punched me in the belly that day at lunch. He got so mad. He ripped off my shirt. There was a purple blotch on my pale skin. Then he taught me how to punch boys back.
That's what Rick's done. He's hidden a purple blotch from us, and now we should be angry.
Carol steps forward, her silver brows pinched. "And you never said anything?"
I consider my body. I don't feel sick. Not like I did when we thought I was bitten.
Rick lamely asks, "Would it have made a difference?"
Yes, I think, but he already knows that.
Glenn accuses him, "You knew. You knew this whole time."
So, that's why Jim and Shane woke back up. You don't gotta get bit. You just gotta die and come back with enough to be able to bite.
That means even if you jumped off a bridge and all your bones were broken and you died, you would still come back.
My—
My Momma would'a still come back.
"How could I have known for sure, huh? Until we found Jim, I had no proof Jenner was even tellin' the truth. You saw how crazy that mother f—"
Glenn cuts him off. "That is not your call. Okay?"
"When Daryl found out about the walkers in the barn," Lori adds, "He told everyone as soon as he had the chance."
Rick don't care. "Well... I thought it best if people didn't know."
Glenn and Dad look right at me. Like they've both thought the same thing I have. They're the only ones here that know what happened to my Momma. I remember telling Glenn about it at the CDC. Momma. We were outta the city when it happened. It was the night the world ended twice. First when we got the call, and again when our neighbours tried to eat us. It's a lot of people's worst ever night. It's mine.
I won't ever know for sure, but I'd be kidding myself if I thought the rules didn't apply to my Momma.
At least we know that if any of us were to die, the others would make sure we didn't turn. Survivor's honor, or whatever it's called.
The silence goes on for so long that he just gives us one last look over, turns, and walks away. Nobody cares where.
Dad crouches; looks up at me. "You okay, baby?"
"Yeah," My voice wobbles, but I'm telling the truth. "I just... Don't wanna think about it."
Glenn clears his throat. "Well, it looks like we don't have much of a choice about this. We need to set up camp."
As everyone slowly breaks off to do their part, Dad takes my hand and leads me over to his motorcycle. "Got somethin' for ya."
Oh, right. The hearing aid; bits and pieces.
I'd almost forgotten.
"I hope it ain't complicated," I tell him, fiddling with my craggled ear. "Maggie said Herschel don't know about this stuff."
"We'll figure it out." He promises, before squeezing my hand and letting it go. "I ain't even sure if they work."
He opens the saddlebag, taking out a wrinkled plastic bag. He reaches in and pulls out what looks like an unusually shaped piece of skin-colored plastic with a rubber bulb on the end. And two other hearing aids, one brown and one purple, the type I'd recognise.
He stuffs the bag away and tucks some hair behind my good ear, making room to stick the first one in.
"I think it goes like that." He leans in closer, messing around with something on the back of it. "How do I—...?"
Something clicks.
All of a sudden, there are birds in the trees.
My eyes go wide, jaw dropping, gawking out at the forest like I've never seen one before.
A grin sneaks its way onto my face.
"The birds," I muse quietly, taking in the sounds of their distant chirps. "I can hear 'em, Dad."
It's not perfect. It's not as crisp as it was before. I think the batteries are low. But I don't care. It's still one of my favorite sounds.
He's smiling faintly up at me. "Good."
"Dad, your voice!"
"My voice?"
"I forgot what it's s'posed to sound like," I giggle. "It's so loud. And annoying."
He snorts, giving my butt a smack for being silly. "Well now when ya tire of my naggin', you can just pull that thing out."
As quickly as it had come to life, it makes a crackling noise, a sudden beep, and then there are no more birds.
I pluck the aid out my ear, giving it a bittersweet look. It didn't last forever, but it was nice while it did.
He mumbles something; then, louder, "We'll find some more batteries soon. Sorry, baby."
"Don't be sorry." I say. "It was perfect."
After packing them back into the saddlebag, we leave to collect firewood together. I imagine the sounds of the birds around us.
Night comes. We can't stop it.
I pretend we're camping.
We're not stranded. No, we just decided to go on a camping trip together because we thought it would be fun. That's why we're all huddled around a campfire in the dark, instead of sleeping in our beds at the farm. I'm curled up against Dad's stomach, which is better than a bed, I think. Beth's cuddled into her Dad's side, too, staring into the flames while Maggie and Glenn whisper to each other beside them.
I wish we had a deck of cards. I wish any of us would wanna play.
We got nothing but a wall of stone to protect us from the forest on the other side, but I pretend that away, too.
I just focus on the sound of an owl hooting somewhere off in the trees. I bet it ain't scared. Owls; they know the night.
Tomorrow, we're gonna have cheap steak and ketchup for breakfast, and then Merle's gonna let me sit on his shoulders just like always.
"We're not safe with him," Carol suddenly mutters, and that's not something I can pretend away. I'm back here, now, and we're stranded. No steak. No ketchup. No Merle. "Keeping something like that from us. Why do we need him? He's just gonna pull us all down."
Maybe I don't wanna be camping, anyway. It's good enough right here, surrounded by the people I care about.
"Nah." Dad's voice is a rumble in my lower back. "Rick's done alright by me and mine."
I cuddle further into him, shuddering lightly as he rubs my cold arms. His leather vest don't make a great blanket.
"You're his henchman." She reminds him. "And I'm a burden."
He scoffs. "And Harley?"
"You both deserve better," She says softly, her face pensive in the orange light.
It don't matter what we deserve, I told Shane when he said the same thing.
Unamused, Dad pries, "What do you want?"
"A man of honor."
"Rick has honor."
They leave it at that. I think they wish we had a deck of cards, too.
The owl hoots again.
Then, a branch breaks.
CRACK.
I straighten.
"What was that?" Beth murmurs worriedly. "Was it a walker?"
We all stare off into the dark, ready to fight whatever might come out of it.
"Could be anythin'," Dad mumbles as he stands, readying his bow. "Could be a racoon. Could be a possum. Could be the Easter bunny."
Carol hugs herself. "We need to leave. I mean, what are we waiting for?"
"Which way?" Glenn asks.
Maggie points at the thin trees behind T-Dog. "It came from over there."
"That's back from where we came."
"Yeah."
"The last thing we need is for everyone to be running off in the dark." Rick scolds us, reminding us he's here. The light from the fire washes him in flame, the dried blood on his forehead glistening with sweat. "We don't have the vehicles. No one's travelling on foot."
"Don't panic," Herschel soothes us all calmly, still clutching his shotgun.
Maggie argues, "I'm— I'm not sittin' here, waitin' for another herd to blow through. We need to move. Now."
"No one is goin' anywhere," Rick snarls.
"Do something!"
"I am doin' somethin'!" He retorts. If he really was that rubber band, this is the part where he would snap in two. "I am keepin' this group together. Alive! I've been doing that all along, no matter what. I didn't ask for this. I shot my best friend for you people, for Christ's sakes! For you Daryl, and you, Harley. I was the one that took care of Jim. Me! Everything! Everything has been on me!"
I know I said we were supposed to be angry with him. But, actually, I think we're just scared.
Lori's holding Carl's head to her chest. Dad stands in front of me, as if he doesn't want me to see. T-Dog, Glenn, Maggie; all with their mouths sealed shut, not sure where to look, or what to say. Is this really the same Rick that comforted me at dinner?
"Maybe you people are better off without me." He shrugs, taunting us. "Sure. Go ahead."
I've never had to be a leader before. I did have to kill Shane, but Rick's done so much more for us. I'm not better off without him.
"I say there's a place for us out there, but maybe—" He's just rambling, now. "Maybe it's just another pipe dream. Maybe I'm— Maybe I'm fooling myself again. I'm just as much a sucker as Shane was. But, hey, why don't you go find out yourself?"
He sweeps his hand behind him, presenting us with the forest.
"Huh? Send me a postcard."
I can't hear the owl anymore. I think it flew away.
"Go on. There's the door. You think you can do better? Let's see how far you get."
I pull the leather of Dad's vest up to my face, shyly peeping over the top of it; breathing shakily. I don't want to see how far I can get. I want to stay right here with my people, whether we're starving or not; freezing or not. I think everyone else does, too.
Or at the very least, they want to stay here where there's a warm fire and guns.
"No takers?" He lilts. "Fine. But get one thing straight. If you're staying—"
He pins every single one of us with a look.
"— This isn't a democracy, anymore."
That word Dale used. The one that means things is fair.
Then he sits right back down where he was before, like he didn't just threaten to abandon us all.
Slowly, everyone else sits back down too, because there's nothing else to do. We all heard him. We can't leave. When Dad settles in behind me again, I squirrel into his chest, his arms wrapping around me. There's no sound except for the branches crackling in the fire and the heartbeat beneath his shirt. I don't know where we go from here. But I do know Dad will keep me safe, and Rick will keep the group safe. He's worked himself raw and bloody to make sure we survive. The fish fry, the CDC, the highway, Shane, the fall of the farm. All of it.
We didn't survive all that bullshit just to fall apart now. There's still something out there for us.
We just have to find it.
Author's Notes.
I sincerely hope you enjoyed 😊
I'm sad to see the farm go, but we had a nice time while we were there.
Please leave a comment! I'm anxious to hear from you all after so long :)
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