#anyway in case it's not obvious by the hyper-specificity

[unabashedly-so]

Something I've thought a lot about, since making the switch to SDV fanfiction...

there are no non-second person writing options because if you don't write in second person, then this ain't about you.

[itsanotheridiot]

Alrightly as someone who owns LiS, BTS, LiS 2, and TC. I also had given the benefit of the doubt to DeckNine but after seeing multiple clips and leaked information about development from a confirmed ex employee of DN I am officially not buying double exposure.

For anyone in the unknown or don’t want to read my long rant. TLDR: Life is Strange felt victims to Corporation greed ruining game franchise and character alienation

Also side note I do have to be vague about specific of the leaked content due to post with it getting taken down. Also DO NOT HARASS THE VOICE ACTORS OR DEVELOPERS BLAME DECKNINE, SQUARE ENIX, NARRATIVE TEAM AND EXECUTIVES

First thing first the narrative team did not give a fuck about the game from the starts and didn’t do any research and never attempted to understand the characters or their stories so yup just bringing max back for one big old cashgrab and due to their egos of a executive producer and the lack of media analysis and literacy from the narrative team they decided to cut Chloe from the story all together but should we be surprised this is coming from the DN the company that had a controversy about one of their developers trying to sneak into racist symbols into the game and DN who fought against their team from having Alex be the first confirmed bi lead in LiS (saying this cause it’s obvious the male love interest Warren, Elliot ,and Finn was there to appeal to audience but their interest with the lead isn’t as flesh out as the women love interest Chloe, Rachel, and Cassidy)

Anyways How did they write Chloe out you may ask? They had Chloe tell max “she can’t move on so I has to go” and broke them up like that is the most OOC shit ever Chloe the girl who journal entries from 5 years in the form unsend letters to Max. Chloe who canonically in the comic waits 2 years for max to come back to her.

There is a reason they are called partners in time their relationship is crucial to the story and their characters arcs they are linked to take away one of them fundamentally breaks the story because the relationship is at the center of it all

Now I am aware some argue the sacrificing Bae is the moral choice but canonical max by the time of episode 5 wants the town to burn and everyone in it she doesn’t care anymore max is more fucked up then people allow her to be cause she is quiet but while we would sacrificed the bae. Max would never. And trust me this is from someone who also sacrificed Bae but I still understand how important Chloe is to Max’s character

These are a few canon max journals entries these ain’t even all the evidence max has dialogue expressing disgust and hatred for Acadia Bay.

While yes LiS handles heavy topics and tells stories about children with supernatural powers that’s what it is a story and what makes a good story is characters relationship that’s what we connect with not the that’s what makes these heavy topics more personal or easier to handle

LiS wouldn’t be what it is without Chloe and Max’s relationship

LiS 2 wouldn’t be a good story without the wolf brother relationship

BTS expanded the amberprice relationship to make the reveal in the original game hit harder

TC was a interesting case because Alex didn’t have any connects but throughout the story she builds some

LiS is about outcasts craving and finding connect in extreme situations chaos was happening but love still prevailed (romantic, platonic, familial) 

Now away from all the shipping stuff for the moment. The writing in DE from the footage I seen is something like the way they try to make the game seem mature is by making sexual jokes targeted at max but it feels like they are trying to be adult like it feels like jojo siwa’s rebrand the being super sexual because that’s adult like no that’s not (also I’m aware people who experience sexual violence could become hyper sexual due to the trauma but from what I seen in the leaked footage this ain’t it) The pacing is also wonky from what I seen stuff that needed time to set in didn’t get that or they breeze by quickly.

Like comparing DeckNine’s LiS games (BTS and TC) to DONTNOD (LiS and LiS2). BTS to me kinda feel like a fanfic they had a whole game to build off of and expanded on the complexities of the Amberprice relationship which I did really enjoy while having Rachel father be a DA was definitely a writing choice it was vague enough where we can ignore it and it didn’t break the base of LiS too much just made little plot holes Now TC I do think TC is a decent game but is also the blandest out of the LiS games there was a lot of missing potential I feel like they could have done but it does work enough and gave us some nice lore like explaining why Steph and Mike wasn’t in the original game they were out of town or wasn’t at the school. Nice little story moments without stepping on the original too much.

Making a sequel with a beloved character like was a super risky choice one they could have achieved if they had actually cared about the stories and characters. I genuinely thought DeckNine was just hiding Chloe and we was going to get the memorable detective duo again and we could have had a very interesting story about a traumatized max regretting her decision all those years ago and exploring different timelines to revalue if she made the right choice that could have been a good way to expand of how the OG story effect the characters while still respecting both ends but also respecting who the characters are at their core

My last point is also how disrespectful the oversexualized and axing of pricefield is. I would like to remind you that LiS came out in 2015 this was around the time female gaming and female characters in video games were started to be taken seriously JMax and Luc even revealed how at the time Square Enix who gave the game a chance with a female lead that looked like a normal teenage

Also because this game came out in 2015 It was a massive achievement for the LGBT+ community a video game with explicit queer content at the center of the story won 3 categories at the game awards. At the global game awards it won 2 categories and came in second for globe game of the year. life is strange won 6 awards at the golden joystick. That was massive process in 2015 especially since LiS came out January 30, 2015. Gay marriage wasn’t even legal then gay content was barely anywhere this was a important game to people at the time and still is. It’s hard to imagine that now considering how much progress and content we have now.

Double exposure had so much potential I feel like there was so many interesting ideas the fandom has only to learn the game never stood a chance from the start because of a bunch of greedy egocentric executives that would rather destroy the hearts of their story than make a good game

I guess the only bright side is that alternate universe exist in life is strange in a different universe we didn’t get this shit cash grab game we actually got a game that how real love and care put into it the characters weren’t alienated and the heart wasn’t torn out in alternate universe pricefield is thriving after everything romantic or not

[lyss-sketchbox]

Have you played through Natlan a little bit yet? Because I love it except for one thing. Does the Archon quest feel...off to you? At least the first act. Specifically the character introductions and character acting?

Funny thing actually i JUST finished it last night!

Well uh spoilers ahead

I think its... alright-ish? Act 1 basically sets you up with the basics, the characters, the culture, the traditions, and lore so we know whats up. Cool. We are literally being fed information because we are tourists and i can excuse that.

Idk how to feel about traveller and paimon literally going 'ah look, an opportunity has arised, its time to do our thing and help with this major event'. I mean yes thats how its always been but mentioning it doesnt... help... it just points out a flaw.

The characters are fine enough imo. I really expected Mualani to have this super hyper attitude and squeaky voice we usually get from an 'everyone loves me' character but shes suprisingly mellow and i appreciate that alot. (May change with Citlali though and im not looking forward to it)

I do not like how it is very Tell not Show. Because you know what keeps being shown? The fact that Kachina is A CHILD. Maybe she's not an actual child who knows but hyv is clearly infantilizing her. Case in point:

The chief of the tribe literally asked you for ID because you are strangers hanging out around her. He literally said 'a good feeling isnt gonna be enough for your parents to trust these people'

After the chief knew who the traveller is, he said he could trust Kachina to go to the Stadium to sign up and not get into trouble. She HAS to participate because she has an Ancient Name and you can barely trust her to go to the stadium???

Kachina mentioning how she can't keep excusing her age for being a bad warrior. So she KNOWS shes young and either she or other people in the past has excused her for her performance because of her age.

The genuine actual side by side of her first match up. You know a child vs a massive buff man. Maybe it's just me but her kit is clearly not made to DPS and hyv making us fight these opponents with only her kinda makes it feel so much like a drag.

Everyone around her keeps saying oh shes actually really good, she almost made it last time, shes super powerful just lacking confidence. Well we dont really... see it. When the tournament started and we play as mualani and kachina all i can think about it 'yeah mualani is gonna do all the fighting here' and it adds to the idea that kachina literally did the bare minimum. But then suddenly we get a really cool cutscene of her defeating a 3 times winning veteran. It is not believable to me.

Also now that she's won we are literally sending her off to fight the abyss where she has a REAL CHANCE OF DYING but we gotta be ok with it because she can get resurrected? Are we not supposed to be concerned that we are sending a child to war with a real chance of her dying?

It is such a tonal shock and the traveller or paimon barely says anything about it so WE are supposed to be fine with it too? It probably is culture shock but like... SOME people still sees Clorinde as a killer despite doing her job as a duelist, how do you think those people will think seeing THIS tradition.

As for the bit where we go with mualani while we wait for kachina to come back from war, it was... alright i think. But the manufactured 'chillness' is there, like you can tell theyre trying their hardest to potray this tribe as the chill surfers one. Its also obvious they want us to like Atea. While she looks a lil overbearing i appreciate that they were being subtle about her 'my life isnt gonna last long so i am doing this dangerous task', they had to explain it anyway for mualani but i think them not stating out right at first that 'woah you werent going here because you can use the hotsprings again!' is a good choice, that is a good show not tell i think.

For now though the entire thing simply feels off because i feel like there's no stake at all for us. If kachina loses? Then she doesn't get sent to the war, thats kind of a good thing seeing how she did ended up 'dying'. We've met the archon but for some reason hasn't asked about our siblings or anything and the only reason we are staying is because its the right thing to do. Thats it. I think it's just... alot offered to us but none with actual value to the traveller personally.

While you can argue that fontaine is exactly like that, that we only stayed to help lyney with his trial and everything else because its the right thing to do. Lyney is fatui. Neuvillette is a dragon. And furina is an absent archon. Theres an air of mystery around how fontaine works and these people have MASSIVE connections. You almost want to stay to see how it'll turn up, what information will show up.

Natlan on the other hand revealed basically everything to us in the first 2 acts. Natlan gets abyss attacks because they dont have strong leyline connections. The fatui wants the gnosis and literally will just fight the archon for it. The archon is chill and kind and is the reincarnation of the original archon because we were told that. The facking traitor from night-wind is obviously the Ororon guy lmao. So what IS left to speculate? To look out for?

Like wow she's gonna carve us an Ancient Name? Why lmao. What for? We can purify the abyss we are not dying in the Night Kingdom.

Shrugs idk feel free to fight me on this. I am just a lil jaded because i literally cannot take the archon seriously when shes literally just called 'Archon' with no special title or anything

[tigreblvnc]

BLUE LOCK MATCHUP EXCHANGE — @soleilonthesun

Your match is...

— Yukimiya Kenyu

✦ Yes, you can steal Yukimiya.

✦ My dear dumb bunny…

✦ The answer was as clear as day when I read through your info.

✦ (Actually, there was someone else first, but Yukimiya quickly made it obvious who was the right match.)

✦ Who's more perfect for you than our national glasses-wearing model?

✦ No one.

✦ It all really came down to how you described what you dislike in others. That ruled out a lot of people from Blue Lock.

✦ Specifically: "I also don't like toxic, arrogant people or people who are disrespectful to me. I can also say that I don't like people who emotionally manipulate others. Irresponsible, unfriendly, and also insult a lot." Okay, let's just eliminate a few characters right there, Suo, yeah?

✦ I think IRL, Yukimiya is probably ideal for you. He's reliable, responsible, intelligent, knows when to speak up or stay quiet, has nerves of steel, and just the right amount of arrogance to unnerve his opponents. In short, he's a very balanced character.

✦ I believe those who truly know they're good don't need to announce it. That's why Yukimiya is both one of the most discreet and one of the most talented characters on the roster.

✦ He has what it takes to bring a balanced relationship to you. I think your highly creative, scattered, and idealistic nature is a great match for his more measured, thoughtful, and strategic side.

✦ Anyway, I'm convinced a couple should complement each other, not be made of two overly similar people.

✦ "I'm that person who doesn't give up on her dreams even if I break her leg." That's a philosophy Yukimiya would resonate with, in my opinion. In his case, it's his vision, which is his main concern in his pursuit to be world number one. But both of you are die-hard pursuers of your passions, relentless even when life throws what seem like insurmountable obstacles at you. It's a big strength you share.

✦ "I can also be a person who stays at home." I tend to think Yukimiya goes out for obligations and social conventions but is introspective at heart. He likes and needs his moments of peace, of solitude. He understands well the desire to stay in.

✦ In the end, it's funny because you're both complementary but also share common traits, like the frustration you feel if you can't do something exactly the way you want.

✦ "His type is someone who laughs a lot and will always watch over him." I can see you excelling at that. Making him laugh, even when you weren't necessarily joking to start with. Your somewhat hyper, imaginative, and talkative nature brings him regular smiles. I don't see him being the type to constantly ask about your life or to get to know you because he understands that you talk enough that he learns everything without needing to ask. Let's be clear: with other people, that might annoy him. But not with you. In fact, it amuses him.

✦ "He feels happy when someone cheers for him warmly." Dumb bunny, best cheerleader of the year :) I see you attending all his games, even his training sessions, bringing a cool towel or water to refresh him.

✦ "I really like responsible people, with a good personality and education." Yes. That's Yukimiya in a nutshell.

✦ "I also listen to musicals like Phantom of the Opera or Hamilton." I think his tastes are both accessible and refined. With a bit of persuasion, you could easily bring him to musicals or similar events.

✦ "Movies from the 50s, 90s, and 2000s, even 2010s." Same here. Culturally, I don't see him liking just anything but being well-versed in the classics and enjoying watching old black-and-white films. It's kind of his guilty pleasure in the evenings, and he's happy to have found someone who shares this somewhat niche passion.

✦ "His favorite subjects are science, Japanese literature, and PE." I mention this because I know you love to read. To me, Yukimiya is more about documentaries and history, interested in major events and famous figures. From what I've seen of you talking about history, the two of you could have very long conversations. I'm convinced his knowledge of popular culture is extensive. We even know he speaks and understands German, so his knowledge is definitely broad.

✦ "I'm supposed to have the language of communication, assertive words (and that's true) but I also like to touch and hug the people I love with all my heart, or give them thoughtful and detailed gifts for them. I think we all have the language of love. [AND COMMUNICATION TOO] — it's important, and with that I fulfill two more languages like: spending time with my loved ones and helping them if they need help."

✦ I believe the love language that resonates most with Yukimiya is words of affirmation. It's the validation of his quality as a forward on the field. That his disability won't be what stops him from reaching his goal. On his part, I think he'd be good with physical contact. There's always some kind of distance between Yukimiya and others; for the person who matters, I believe he invests himself seriously and long-term. This shows up a lot in affectionate gestures, like holding hands in public or naturally embracing you.

✦ He likes spring, blossoms, ephemeral things. In fact, he loves the beauty of things that don't last, and I can easily picture him watching a landscape while you're busy drawing. The Tsuruoka Spring Festival is a must for you two. It's one of your favorite annual outings.

✦ I glanced at the moodboard you sent me for your appearance. Artist and model couple, basically. And it's funny because you never show what you look like, even with Picrews or artistic representations. There's maybe a part of you that's afraid to show yourself or wants to stay private. I even detect a tendency to go all-in but also a desire to hold back because there's a sense of discomfort somewhere. In other words: there's a fear of commitment.

✦ I'm explaining through the following lines because it all makes sense.

✦ No one has ever sent me their full natal chart before, so I'm taking this chance to highlight details that stood out.

✦ Leo stellium. That's the first thing. A stellium means having more than three planets in the same house: for you, that's the Sun, Lilith, Mercury, and Saturn in your Leo house. These four planets together suggest a solar personality capable of attracting others around you. There's a definite need to be seen and recognized, along with pressure to live up to expectations. There's also a desire to stand out, which shows in your more unique interests.

✦ Neptune and Mars conflict. Mars in Taurus seeks stability and pragmatism, which can clash with your Neptune in Aquarius, tied to idealism and dreams of innovation. This combination has probably led you to escape reality through procrastination many times, with Neptune dulling Mars with its dreams and idealism. Neptune manifests in your life through art, giving form to your ideals and daydreams. Mars brings rationality to your journey, pushing you to advance step by step with caution rather than making a drastic change in pursuit of a dream that's overly embellished.

✦ These two aspects reflect the issue of commitment: "I want to, but at the same time, I don't." It's about finding balance, and that's why these details in your chart seem important to note—they probably represent challenges you experience daily, and after speaking with you at length, I can confirm these hypotheses of ambivalence.

✦ The good news is that Yukimiya is the stable pillar in your life :) It's easier to move forward with a reliable anchor than to wander aimlessly. Yukimiya has a dream, but he's not passive. That's what inspires you and helps you achieve your own goals.

A word about your match: I first thought of Isagi because he's the epitome of a balanced guy who respects everyone. But something was missing. The doubt didn't last, though. Yukimiya quickly took the upper hand in this matchup. Favorite character or not, the truth always wins.

© TIGREBLVNC 2024 | INTERESTED IN A MATCHUP EXCHANGE? CHECK THIS.

[devsgames]

Hey! Was just wondering, what are (in your opinion) the reasons for making games as a solo dev or small indie team in today's game industry / climate?

I read so much about how difficult it is and why you shouldn't (which is fair, to set expectations) -- but rarely hear the other side.

Hi! Thanks for the ask! 🙂

Prefacing with the obvious: the reason you hear so much about how difficult it is is usually because it's very difficult, and the redeeming parts don't often outweigh the hard parts. You'll usually have all the work on your plate that a regular dev would and then some. It also depends a lot on what exactly your team, context and personal work preferences are.

To your question: Maybe this is a hot take, but on the whole I'd argue there's not a huge difference between working with a smaller team and a big one because most of the problems in the game industry aren't a factor of team/studio/project size but rather the way the game industry works itself (and obligatory mention: capitalism). Those systems don't change much no matter how small the studio/team gets, so generally all the same pros and cons will exist independent of team size because they're all trying to work in the same patterns of constraints. Plus, small studios typically emulate industry-standard practices established by larger studios (tight turnaround times, hierarchical team structures, publisher deals etc), and that means they're usually subject to all the same issues even if they're a smaller team.

A tiny indie studio team can be a toxic cishet, white male dominated studio as easily a AAA studio (I'd argue this is often more likely to be the case), mismanagement is just as likely at a small scale, a worker can have to put in as much crunch work as a massive studio pushing for deadlines does, teams might be chronically undervalued and underpaid in both environments, small studios might operate off of exploiting the labour of outsourcing studio in the Global South, etc.

I think team/studio size most directly effects a person's relative workload to a project's scope, and isn't much of an indicator for stuff like team health, working practices, and the like - this makes a question of 'how are small teams better' hard to answer because...they're not better or worse. At least not implicitly.

I think also lots of little indies conflate "my team is like [x]" as "every indie team is like [x]", which is never true because it changes a lot depending on a lot of factors surrounding the team, studio, project and so on. You can have a AAA studio that meets many people's needs and is generally a healthy place to work, just as you can have a tiny studio rampantly full of horrible people who constantly want to kill each other. Point being, I think it's less dependent on size as it is patterns of operation. While small size might helps identify issues more readily, it doesn't guarantee improvement.

Anyway, just so I'm not saying "it depends", here is what I perceive as some pros you might encounter at smaller teams (others might not see all these as pros):

The reasons for making games is always the same - we like games/art and wanna make them. I think that's a good reason for creating any art at any scale!

Smaller team size often means less people to work on specific tasks, so your day to day will involve doing a wider array of things than it would while working in a huge studio where your role is hyper-specialized. As an LD on a small team I might be scripting, doing layouts, coding level systems, lighting passes, etc, where as on a large team I'd be working on the same level layout for 8 hours every day. Smaller teams give more opportunity to build cross-disciplinary skills like this.

You'll likely have more opportunities for creative input or for your voice to be heard as an individual in a small team as you'll be working more directly with directors and people in charge. Whether or not they are open to that input is a different story.

You'll get to know more people outside your own discipline, as opposed to just people you directly work with. You'll also know the people around you much more intimately than you would with a larger team.

Your lead (providing your team is large enough to have one) will (usually) have less people under them, which means more time to dedicate to your needs.

From my experience that's all the bigger stuff I can think of!

To speak to 'today's industry and climate' - I'm not sure of many advantages small teams hold there honestly. Unless you're entirely self-funded (most studios aren't) you're just as likely to get laid off or suddenly shut down by funding cuts on a small team as you would on a large team, so there's not much exceptionalism there. I think small teams struggle with marketing and fighting oversaturation even more, so they don't hold much ground on that front either.

For myself working solo, I hated feeling like a cog in a machine and just doing the same thing day after day. I like variety and being challenged, but hate work processes that are inefficient. I also have developed a lot of trauma from the industry (can you tell 😅) and over time have often found myself growing absolutely miserable working at every studio I've worked at in the past. I've found working alone has given me a happy medium that allows me to prioritize what I want to prioritize as well as make the things that I want to put out into the world, without being mismanaged or exploited into oblivion. That being said I still don't make rent, so I wouldn't say it's preferable to working at a studio for most people without a safety net or Plan B.

I do however think there are tangible and notable advantages to stability in structures which fundamentally challenge how the industry works, such as worker-owned structures (like co-ops) and the like. However, that's less a question of team size and more about how a studio operates foundationally in opposition to the way the industry pressures expect things to work.

Anyway, sorry this is a bit of a rant! I think small studios are good for more interpersonal relations between folks, but unfortunately I wouldn't say there's much that team size implicitly impacts outside of that.

[thisisevenharderthannamingablog]

Korn is the Actual Worst

Nobody is reading these but oh well. Today's very normal thought subject is that we see as early as ep 3 that Kinn when he feels safe is an open, smiley goofball who lunges for Porsche like someone at least a little bit aware that he's drowning.

They never come out and say how long it's been since Tawan, but it has to have been at least a couple of years? (Tay gets an award for sticking by him.) And I'm thinking something barely coherent here about the main house's hyper-controlled atmosphere, all CC-TV cameras and employees who ultimately report to his father, and how Tawan would have killed any sense of refuge even in what should be private areas, so for years no corner of that entire enormous place feels safe. [And he keeps that picture, in case he forgets.]

[I've seen a post or two disapproving of Kinn controlling Porsche's cell phone access, a fair real-world reaction that seems to overlook the fact that in the show-world, Kinn is trapped in this system, too. His family has his phone location tracked. People [mostly Porsche, but still] are constantly bugging rooms, eavesdropping, spying on one another. There is a literal informant in the house trying to have him killed. They all live in a fucking panopticon Korn runs, which is why in order to make real connections with people it has to be somewhere else, mostly Yok's for the symbolism of it all. But anyway, back to safety.]

Nobody is the exact same person with their parents that they are with their friends, but it is obvious that Kinn isn't safe around his father. He's cautious with his words, never shows a real smile, and usually buffers the interaction with alcohol. I get so indignant for him when Korn is reprimanding him in front of Chan, it is literally management 101 you do. not. do. that. For Korn, however, public shaming is the point.

I realized while I was writing up the ep 14 notes that his preferred method relies almost entirely on emotions. He's not a conventional liar in that he's usually not trying to feed people specific information as a means of guiding their behavior (though he does resort to that at the end of the season); it's not the words themselves that matter. It's how he's making someone feel in that moment. Which is why he goes with vagueness and metaphors and cuddly sweaters when he can. [I'll come back to that.]

His episode 1 conversation with Porsche is brief but significant, because he consistently takes this position throughout the season. He wants Porsche dependent on him, and it's not just the quasi-feudal "I meet your physical needs and you give me loyal service" one might expect from organized crime. Korn wants Porsche -- the man he orphaned! I hate him so much -- to have positive emotions about him, see him as a provider for Chay if not for himself. We see it with Pete a little bit from the other side; he's the only one of the bodyguards we ever really learn about, but in the ep 2 fish out of water sequence, he's the fish happy in the bowl. Sure, there's some annoying aspects, but overall it's a good deal.

It's such a grotesque, stunted version of actual connection, but if you can make sure that it's all anyone ever gets...? Once you've established that link, once you are the only source of those positive emotions for someone, you can use it. [Yet another aside: I'm intrigued by Korn's suggestion that Kinn and Porsche go away for a bit, because the only motive I can see for it is that he wanted space to work on Chay.]

Korn probably didn't even read Kinn the riot act about Tawan, just said something like I warned you. Now we have this. They live in a high-stakes world, would have lost face on account of it, lost business, a few people. I'm sure he didn't have to outright tell Kinn what to do about it.

The line that makes me want to stab Korn right through my laptop screen on Kinn's behalf specifically is not the apple speech but the coda: Our family is waiting for you.

How fucking dare he.

Anyway. I like that they trust their audience to figure out that Korn is as bad as his brother; he just prefers a different technique. And I find it interesting that Kinn categorically rejects this approach in favor of shooting someone in the head. (He would suck at it anyway; he can do the cold aloof thing 24/7 for literally years, but he can't fake emotions for shit.)

One of the things I'm mourning about no S2 is that we won't find out if Korn went too far in the S1 endgame. He ended up outright lying a lot as he ran out of maneuvering room. I'd like to know if he got too specific in what he said, told too many straight-up lies that were aimed at Porsche where Kinn could see him do it. Another good reason for Korn to keep his kids isolated from one another is that it reduces the chance that they'll compare stories. I was thinking about writing a fic about this but I might just leave it here - Kim, as the youngest, might have seen this tactic used against other people enough to have figured it out.

[fallenrocket]

Unhatched Observations: Shadow and Bone

It’s that time again—looking over some of my old posts about a story with Big Neurodivergent Energy and realizing how it resonated with me as an “unhatched” autistic ADHDer. We’re looking at Shadow and Bone today. This is an interesting case, because I wrote quite a bit about Shadow and Bone/the Grishaverse, but only my Favorite Characters post on Jesper really vibes on a neurodivergent level. It’s not that he’s the only ND character in the books or the series. Far from it! But until more recently, I wasn’t writing about characters like David or Wylan.

So I’m just looking at my unhatched observations about Jesper as an ADHD character. But even though I’m only revisiting one post today, I’m really struck by how much I write about my love for what are specifically ADHD traits. Even more interestingly, while I hit on the more “obvious” things like his energy and distractibility, I also talk in detail about his hyperfocus when he’s shooting, an ADHD trait that I’d never even heard of back when this post was written. Without knowing what any of this was, it still struck a deep chord with me.

Anyway, enough talk from Present-Day Me. Let’s roll the tape!

Favorite Characters: Jesper Fahey

The immediate air Jesper gives off is that of the charismatic troublemaker. He’s funny and personable, he enjoys provoking people, and he has enough of a gambling problem that he allows it to get in the way of the Crows’ illegitimate business dealings. […] Kaz and Inej are both more serious than he is and, at first blush, better at what they do. They’re the ones with their head in the game, while Jesper is the one Kaz admonishes to pay attention and not screw it up.

Which would be a perfectly entertaining character type all on its own. Every ragtag band of outsiders needs some good comic relief, and story-wise, it never hurts to have a wildcard who keeps things from going too smoothly. On both counts, Jesper fits the bill nicely. And if he was just those things, he’d probably still be my favorite character, because he’s just so much fun. But what I really appreciate about Jesper is that, in a particular respect, he’s also devastatingly hyper-competent. As he points out to Kaz, the chief “Jesper talent” is to “shoot things with style” (and to look good while doing it—oh, Jesper.) He has an ever-present pair of revolvers at his side, and when he lets loose with them, his precision and focus are just stunning. When Jesper’s sharpshooting skills are called upon, he transforms. Not that he loses his humor or panache, but this ability comes from somewhere deep within him, and whether he’s saving himself and his friends from literal death or simply causing an expertly timed distraction, he’s unmatched.

I love that. I love when largely comedic characters show a different side to themselves. […] It’s an important way to show why they shouldn’t be underestimated. There are a few displays of Jesper’s unparalleled marksmanship in the first two episodes of the season, but he gets a showcase scene in episode 3—one, by the way, that comes pretty quickly on the heels of a major “lovable screw-up” moment—that instantly shows just how much he’s capable of. It’s the scene in which my opinion of Jesper went from “okay, this guy is delightful” to “I just met my new platonic crush.”

[joshriku]

thank you @x-populuxe for the tag!

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written fewer than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.

i'm not sure who to tag so if you see this and you're like ohh god i wish i had an excuse to talk about my writing i'm tagging YOU specifically pls do it i love reading fics

there's diversity here i feel. but not that much

the reports of my death are greatly exaggerated (akeshu)

“Hey,” Ren nudges him with his elbow, making Goro look up from his coffee. “It’s the anniversary of your disappearance.”

Sleepily, Goro turns his head to Ren’s phone. He watches him as he blinks, trying to read the bright headline while he’s still trying to wake up. “So it is.”

2. curiosity (quicksilver/human torch) (don't ask) (or actually ask)

No fucking way.

Johnny could play dumb. He could turn away and walk the other way, because Pietro is clearly dressed to not be recognized. It’s pretty obvious because Johnny is dressed the same way. Big hoodie, sunglasses, cap over sunglasses. Sometimes you just want to buy a fucking burger.

“Act natural,” he says as he comes to stand behind him in the queue. Which, okay, alright, maybe not his most normal move ever! Sue him. “Funny seeing you here.”

3. a petty thing (hosea/dutch)

What makes him such an easy target is the way he carries himself.

They are always the easy ones, too—men who believe they are better than anyone else. Confident men in America almost, but not always, spell trouble. Hosea knows his kind better than everyone else, which is why, perhaps, he’s the one suited to attend Dutch van der Linde.

This one is going to be an open-and-shut case.

4. incredibly small problems in such an impossibly big world (wanda & lorna)

“When did you learn how to drive?” Wanda asks her, but it’s probably a question she immediately regrets—she winces on the passenger seat. “Wait, that’s a dumb question. It’s a metal vehicle.”

Lorna gives her a thumbs-up. “Bingo. It’s not really learning, more like feeling it and willing it to move as I want. Neat trick, right?”

She smiles, leaning into the seat further. “I’m jealous. I wouldn’t be half as terrified of driving if I was so sure I’d never crash it.”

“Can’t you just…” Lorna wiggles her fingers, “warp reality and make it so you can drive?”

Wanda arches an eyebrow. 

“Do you believe I would bend the rules of reality so I could skip driving lessons?”

“Shit, maybe it’s a good thing you’re the one with those powers,” Lorna says. “I would.”

5. a scandal in bohemia (raven/irene)

“And Irene Adler?”

“Threatens to send them the photograph. And she will do it. I know that she will do it. You do not know her, but she has a soul of steel. She has the face of the most beautiful of women, and the mind of the most resolute of men. Rather than I should marry another woman, there are no lengths to which she would not go—none.”

In order to not slip-up, Raven rests her head against her hand, if only to look interested in everything this man was saying about Irene. You do not know her, but she has a soul of steel. That, she did. 

6. patterns of loss (joel & ellie) (1.2k)

There’s not much he can do. 

The urgency to leap after Ellie drains out of his body as soon as Henry’s body hits the floor. Ellie’s sobs are present, filling the air, as Joel takes a look around the room—hyper-vigilance not wearing off just yet. His heartbeat is loud in his ears—but perhaps Ellie crying is even louder. Okay, he can work with that. He stands up straighter again, trying to gear himself for what’s coming next.

There’s not much he can do to comfort Ellie.

He’s more of a practical person, as it is. He extends his hand to her, trying to get her up. 

“C’mon,” he says, saving the inner relief when she does take his hand. “Let’s get you out of here.”

“You’re not—” Briefly, Ellie’s eyes flash with betrayal. “You’re—you’re not leaving them here, are you?”

7. kind (hosea & arthur) (2.1k)

“What are you thinking about?”

It’s not hard to guess. Hosea has been aware of Dutch’s gaze for a while now, almost as if they are caught on a staring loop: he’s looking at Arthur, and Dutch is looking at Hosea while he does that.

“You know,” he says. Dutch does know. They’ve had this conversation from the moment they took in Arthur, and Hosea isn’t fond of repeating himself. Not to Dutch.

8. melt your headaches, call it home (cherik) (20.3k) (oops.)

“Dad,” Pietro starts in that tone of voice. 

Erik loves his children. He does. He has grown to love them more than anything in this life. Unfortunately, this means he knows them better than he knows himself. One could never finish knowing their children, but he’d wager he has such an understanding of his twins that he can categorize every single tone of voice they have. 

This one—the little emphasis on the only vocal, the way he can tell Pietro already knows what he wants from this conversation before he even begins to breach the topic… yes, well, certainly not his favorite one from him. 

“Son,” Erik answers. Hopefully Pietro doesn't beat around the bush. 

“Do you, perhaps, by any chance… happen to know Charles Xavier?” 

9. a winding road (david & erik) (3.2k)

David has a list of things he wants to talk about. 

Um, did you mean what you said? About being proud of me? 

You know my dad. Has he always been an arrogant dick? 

You know my dad. Is there any chance he’ll ever change?

Unfortunately, there seems to not be any way to dive into this without looking weird. Not that he cares about looking weird, but there’s probably a subtler, nicer way to begin this conversation. Who the hell opens up with “Hey, can I fix my daddy issues or not?” Fucking hell. Magneto wouldn’t mind, probably, but it still rubs David the wrong way.

10. a heart's genuine apology (terumob) (1k)

Teru blinks back into consciousness when he feels a pair of hands shaking him awake.

“Hanazawa-kun,” the voice is saying, gently, trying to not hurt him. “Hanazawa-kun, wake up, please…”

Is that… Kageyama-kun? Teru suddenly blinks awake harder, much to Kageyama’s relief. Behind him, his master also looks equally relieved, although—oh, they both look so rough. Teru tilts his head. 

wow! THATS A LOT ! god has cursed me for my hubris and my work is never finished

[inheirit]

⠀⠀⠀WHAT ⠀did she want to know ? What did she, a student of modern magecraft theory, want to know from the one who gave the foundation of everything she's ever been taught ( and most of what she has yet to learn ) ? Everything. It's written all over her face, momentarily bowled over despite her best efforts; of course she wants to know absolutely everything ! To be honest, Rin had mentally prepared a ton of hyper-specific questions for this exact moment — you know, in case it ever arose — and now it's all racing through her mind so quickly that she's worried they'll all fall right through like water in a sieve—

⠀⠀⠀❛ ⠀Well, the thing is... When it comes to modern magecraft, all we really have are theories. So as simple as they may sound... Even the most basic questions have invaluable answers coming from you. It's the closest to total confirmation any mage is ever gonna get.⠀ ❜ ⠀What would the Professor ask if he were sitting across from the foundation of magecraft as they know it ? … Actually, that was a Pandora's box she couldn't even begin to open right now. It would depend on his mood, anyways.

⠀⠀⠀❛ ⠀So with that in mind, if you'll humor me for a bit... I have to get the obvious out of the way.⠀ ❜ ⠀And of course, with mages, there's only one obvious question that matters. Far more than the who, or even the how.⠀❛ ⠀Why did your creator do it ? What was his reasoning ?⠀ ❜ ⠀

“Modern magecraft.” he corrects, momentarily stirring his tea. then, almost as in cue, his eyes narrow in contemplation, before they settle in recognition. it comes easier these days, to accept how human his gestures can be — but sometimes his own nature overrides the notion. “Ah. You are her friend.”

he supposes this was bound to happen. not that he minds; he has heard of and seen Rin Tohsaka occasionally, and he can tell the friendship is genuine. Marie has always worn her heart on her sleeve, but he has watched her closely to understand she has no need to lie about what or whom she cares for.

“I suppose you could put all the responsibility on the man who created us. But it is not wrong. I was his first familiar and what gave you the foundation for the system you use.” he closes the book he had brought with a careful thud. “What is it that you want to know?”

[helliontherapscallion]

Shenanigans and Love (Adrenaline Junkie Part 13)

Part 1     Part 2     Part 3     Part 4     Part 5     Part 6     Part 7     Part 8     Part 9     Part 10     Part 11     Part 12     Part 14     Part 15     Part 16     Part 17

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: the Warden, mentions of death, phantom pain syndrome, extreme fluff

Word count: 3,226

The light glow of the redstone lamp illuminated your work space. Currently, it was about two hours before everybody was due to wake up and you were hovering over your journal containing your notes on the Warden. Not much was known about the cave-dwelling creature, but you found a couple of books about it at the library. So far, you found out that it indeed didn’t have eyes; it navigated via a mixture of hearing and a vibration network found in the blocks that had the glowing tentacles on them (you now knew that they were called ‘sculk blocks’). The sculk blocks would pick up on movement or touch, it would send vibration waves through the air, where it would reach the Warden’s own sculk stalks. Without the sculk stalks on the Warden’s head, the Warden was defenseless.

You also read about the anatomy of the creature. Known juvenile specimens ranged from seven to eleven feet tall while adults spanned from twelve to a whopping twenty feet tall. While their average lifespan is unknown due to the parasitic nature of the beast, it is known that they are out of their juvenile stage once they are approximately twenty years old. Thinking back on the one in the cave, it was about twice as tall as you were. That was a juvenile mob and it’s probably grown rapidly since then. The thing that killed you so viciously was a juvenile. You shuddered thinking about what an adult could do.

Juveniles are charted to be more erratic in their decisions while adults were known to be calculating and alert. Known weaknesses were known to be the sculk stalks and the heart. It was going to be incredibly difficult to take it down by yourself, but if worse comes to worse, you’d gladly take the beast down with you. Just in case, you left behind a small will with things you were planning on giving to your family. You were going to leave your workshop and your blueprints to Arthur, your collection of diamonds to Tommy and Wilbur, your stock of netherite and gold to Technoblade, and your wealth and life savings to Philza. You requested that Philza take care of Arthur, you couldn’t ask for a better father figure to have than Philza. Only the best for Arthur. In addition, you had a letter prepared for every member of your family. They were still in their first drafts, but they were coming along fast. In them, you detailed how grateful you were for every single one of them and reminisced on your favorite memory you shared with them. You still had about a week and a half left before you planned on attacking the cave, but you always liked to have extra time to complete things.

Your alarm clock sounded with harsh, lazer like beeps before you quickly silenced it. You didn’t need Arthur or Philza waking up so early. Sighing, you hid your journal and letters under a false bottom drawer and gently closed it. You trudged up the stairs quietly and made your way to the bathroom to shower for the day. When you took off your prosthetic, you could feel the phantom pains shoot up your nonexistent wing. In addition to that, the feathered stump and the areas around it felt stiff. The warmth of the shower did nothing to alleviate the pain.

After your shower, you started to make breakfast. Soon after, the other members of the household filed into the kitchen with differing energies. Arthur, the hyper, knowledge craving kid he was, walked into the kitchen with a bounce in his step and his head held high while Philza followed him with disheveled hair and tired blue eyes. With breakfast situated at the table, everyone started eating. You continuously shifting uncomfortably in your seat didn’t go unnoticed by the two as they eyed you after they woke up a little more.

Finally having enough of your constant movement, Philza finally spoke up, “(y/n)?” You hummed, turning to look at him, “yeah?”

“Is everything okay?”

You suddenly become hyper aware of your movements as you force your body to sit still. “Everything’s fine, why you ask?”

“You look a little uncomfortable. Are you sure everything’s alright?”

You sighed, “I’ll tell you later. Arthur did you have anything specific you wanted to learn today?”

His eyes shone with the brightness of all of the stars in the universe as he made quick work to swallow his mouthful of toast, jumping in his seat slightly as he chewed. “Yes! I was wondering if you could teach me how to work with comparators!”

“That takes a lot of time and patience to learn, we probably won’t get it all done by the end of the day today. Is that alright?” He enthusiastically nodded, shoving the last bit of toast in his mouth and running off with a mouthful of unchewed bread.

You could feel a slight worry stab your gut, “Arthur, swallow your food before you run! You could choke!”

You watched as he stopped at the bottom of the stairs, vigorously chewed, swallowed, and resumed his sprint upstairs. You dragged a tired hand through your hair and sipped at your coffee.

“Ender, now I know how you felt with us when we were kids. Kid’s gonna be the death of me.”

Your dad chuckled, sipping at his own coffee. “He’s a lot more tame than you four were. Techno and Wilbur weren’t that bad, you were just a tad bit more chaotic, and well, you remember how Tommy was. You’re just way too worried about him. Kids will be kids, they do crazy things and sometimes you can’t stop them. After the couple months of adopting Tommy, I just let him learn from his mistakes. You gotta let them learn from their mistakes or else they’re never gonna learn. It’s just something all parents have to do if they want their kid to grow as a person.”

“That’s tr- wait, parent? Arthur’s my protégé, not my kid.”

He smirked over his mug and raised an eyebrow at you, “really? Cuz you seem awfully worried about him.”

“Dad. I’m just worried that he’s gonna accidentally kill himself. What, can I not be worried about my protégé?”

“No need to get defensive, just trying to point out the obvious-”

“The obvious? Dad, I'm only twenty. I’m not adopting anyone anytime soon.”

“I adopted Techno when I was twenty three,” he pointed out with raised eyebrows, “besides, I think you’d be a great parent. You’re already a parental figure for Arthur anyways, so nothing would change too much.”

You were silent for a moment as you stared at him blankly. You never viewed yourself as a parental figure type before. Your current lifestyle of never leaving your workshop would never be able to accommodate having someone that depended on you. You could hardly take care of a goldfish (you still had Bubbles’ grave in the backyard at your house in L’manberg), let alone an entire human child. Sure, you babysat Fundy when Niki was too busy to, but that was your nephew and it was only for a day at a time. You planned on taking Arthur with you back to L’manberg (only if he wanted to of course), but you didn’t think that far ahead. He was probably going to have to stay at your house. You weren’t cut out to be a parent, you wouldn’t be good enough for Arthur.

Philza, noticing your slightly panicked zoned out state, quickly reassured you, “you don’t have to make a definitive decision right now, you have time. Just- just consider it. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to come to me. I think I’ve raised enough kids to know what I’m doing,” he chuckled to himself.

Your feathered wing dropped in relief as you gave him your best smile over your coffee mug. “Thanks Dad, I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you, you’re a lifesaver.” Right after that, a particularly large burst of pain shot along the length of your nonexistent right wing and loitered in the area around the base of your wing. You bit your tongue at the sudden pain as you felt the muscles twitch.

“It’s no problem, I’ll always be here to help ya.” He smiled at you before his eyes snapped to something behind you. His smile dropped as he eyed you concerningly, pointing behind you. “Is- is it supposed to do that?”

You followed his eyes behind you to your prosthetic wing. The metal was twitching in sporadic bursts with varying intensity. You could hear the slight scratching of the metal clashing lightly against the wooden chair. Though it was very inconvenient, you supposed you should be glad that it was moving with the muscle impulses of the muscles you used in flight. Suddenly, you could feel a muscle directly on the base of your wing twitch as the metal moved in tandem with the impulse. The entire wing extended to it’s full length and knocked over the chair next to you. It stood erect for a bit before another twitch caused another spasm that worked its way throughout the length of your metal wing. This time, the wing reared back to your body and almost smacked you in the face. If you didn’t move, your eye would’ve probably been plucked out by one of the metal feathers.

Your flesh wing puffed up slightly in embarrassment as you turned to look back at the blond man in front of you, “technically? I mean, it’s just the sensors picking up on the twitching. I-I’ll get the chair.”

As you stood up, you grunted in pain as another spasm hit you. This time, your wing extended fully perpendicularly to your back causing the muscles in the base of your nubby wing to be pulled unexpectedly. Hissing, your hand shot to rub at the base of your wing. “Fuck that was a bad one.”

You heard the screech of wood on wood as Philza stood up and hurried over to you, dodging a couple of swings from your wing. His hands were hovering indecisively in front of him. “Tell me what I need to do.”

“Take it off. Just- hhh, just take the sensors off. There should be seven of them, all on my back and shoulders.” You bent over with your hands gripping the table with each spasm of your muscles. You could feel the fabric of your shirt being pulled slightly from your body and the warmth of your dad’s hand brushing against your twitching skin as he hurriedly ripped the sensors off your skin.

Once they were all off, the metal wing drooped limply downwards, occasionally being moved slightly when what’s left of the flesh stiffened. “Good, can you unfasten the belts? There’s three of them, they’re a little- ah, a little tricky. After that, carefully pull the metal out through the slit in my shirt. Make sur- sure the sensors don’t rip.”

You sighed when you felt the wing being taken off from you and pulled through the slit in your shirt. Slumping back down into your chair, you reached a hand around to nead the skin on your back. You could feel the twitching slowly decrease in intensity, leaving a sore feeling in its wake. Your wing was placed gently onto the table in front of you, some parts hanging off the side. “Goddamn, I haven’t had an episode that bad since I grinded out making weapons for the War.”

You could hear water running before a glass was placed in front of you and Philza picked up the chair you knocked over and pulled it up next to you. He started to rub circles around the muscles around your wing. You sighed in content, feeling the knots in your back being relieved, “thanks. That feels good.”

“(y/n)?” A small voice said from the doorway of the kitchen. You shot up and bit back a groan when your sore muscles were moved. The young boy was leaning into the doorway with his hands on the sides and his mop of brilliant copper hair hung downwards. He looked worried and slightly scared.

“Hey Arthur, we can start your lesson soon, I just need a sec.”

“Are you okay?” His wavering tone and small voice combined with the tears slowly filling his eyes broke your heart. Eyes softening, you stood up and walked over to him, pulling him into a soft hug. “Of course I’m okay, you don’t need to worry buddy,” you deepened your voice and spoke dramatically, ‘(Y/n) Minecraft the Great, Conqueror of the Unknown’ will never be taken down!”

He gave a watery chuckle against your shirt and burrowed his head deeper into your shoulder, gripping you tighter. You reached up to stroke his hair and wrapped your left wing around him loosely, shielding him from the world with a protective feathery barrier. You could hear Philza picking up dishes from the table and quietly start to do the dishes. Despite the occasional twitch in your back and the phantom pain shooting down your wing, you directed all of your attention to Arthur. Eventually, he pulled away and wiped at his blotchy face. “Are you still up for the lesson?”

Just as Arthur opened his mouth, Philza interrupted him from behind you, “you’re not doing anything until you feel better (y/n).”

“Dad, honestly it isn’t that-”

“Don’t say it honestly isn’t that bad, we both know that’s not true. You’re on bedrest for today.”

You grumbled to yourself as you stood up and handed your glass of water to Arthur, who sipped at the contents giving you a small “thank you.” Nodding, you were escorted out of the kitchen by Philza and ushered to the couch. Once you were laying down on your stomach, he handed you a book and placed a hot water bottle on your back. Before you could stop it, a pleased hum left your lips as your body relaxed on the couch. “You’re staying here. I better not find you anywhere else when Arthur and I come home.”

You lifted your head up and stared at him with an eyebrow raised, “where’re you taking him?”

The corners of his mouth twitched and his eyes lit up slightly before he put on his stern facade once more. “Just to the village. I need to pick up a few things.”

“And you need him why…?”

“Well, I can’t go without someone helping me! I’m an old man after all.” He started to nudge Arthur towards the door and slipped his shoes on.

“You’re only thirty six, but whatever. Arthur, be good for my dad.”

“Alright (y/n), feel better soon!” He gave you a bright smile before he was pulled out of the house by Philza.

You tried to read, but the nagging worry for Arthur in the back of your mind never allowed for you to be immersed in your book. You knew Philza would never let anything happen to him, but you couldn’t help but worry whenever Arthur wasn’t in your line of sight. You supposed that it was a part of being an avian hybrid; you needed to constantly know if the child was alright. You tried to force yourself to go to sleep, but the pain prevented you from doing so, so you ended up mindlessly watching the seconds tick by on the clock. Before you knew it, your eyes closed and you were put in a light slumber.

You were awoken by the front door opening and laughter filling the house. You cracked open your crusty eyes and groaned as you sat up. You looked at the two with bleary eyes. Arthur was laughing at something Philza said as the blond looked over at you. “Hey hun, you feelin better?”

“Yeah a bit. What’d you get at the village?”

“Just some things for dinner. Arthur, wanna help me cook?”

Arthur, being the walking ball of sunshine that he was, nodded vigorously and started to drag the older man to the kitchen. Furrowing your brow, you called out to them, “do you want me to help?”

“No, stay there. Don’t come in!” Arthur’s excited voice shouted back to you, making you raise a brow at his words. You couldn’t lie, you felt nervous at his words. Just what did he have in store for you? Occasionally, you could hear yelps and bangs, which made you want to go into the kitchen even more. But you held off, trusting Philza.

About an hour and a half passed before you were summoned to the kitchen by an overly excited Arthur. Once in the kitchen, you were in slight awe. Spread out on the table was your favorite meal with the addition of fresh cookies left to cool on the stovetop. “All this for me?”

They smiled at you as Arthur ushered you to your spot at the table. “I… don’t know what to say. I- thank you guys.”

“Don’t thank me, it was all Arthur’s idea. I just helped.” Philza looked over at the blushing boy with a smile.

You reached over to ruffle his hair, “well, thank you Arthur. You know me too well, these are all my favorites!”

The boy bashfully smiled at you, “there’s something else too, but that’s for after dinner.”

You put a hand against your heart, touched, “Two surprises in one day? Ender, you’re spoiling me!” Arthur laughed at you.

Dinner went by fast with light-hearted laughter bouncing throughout the kitchen. The dinner and cookies tasted amazing, your taste buds felt like they were in heaven. After dinner, Arthur drug you to your room with an excited Philza following you two. On your bed sat your wing, but it had colorful things attached to the surface. Furrowing your brow, you looked closer to find various magnets sticking to the iron surface.

They ranged from the nonbinary flag to small mobs to little puns (your favorite ones were ‘olive you’ and ‘bird puns fly right over my head’). You could feel your smile widening at every magnet you saw, your wing fluttering in happiness. One of the magnets made you stop completely though as you stared at it with wide eyes. It was simple, but oh did it make your heart sing in joy and your eyes fill with tears. On the magnet, in big, bold letters were the words ‘world’s best parent’.

“Arthur…” You looked at him through blurred vision. He looked nervous, looking anywhere but at you and shifting on the balls of his feet. You lunged forward and pulled him into a tight hug and wrapped your wing around him, making sure he was as close to you as possible.

Philza watched the exchange with a soft smile before he decided to let you two have some privacy. His heart was full of happiness as he walked downstairs to clean up the kitchen with a bounce in his step and his wings fluttering uncontrollably. He was ecstatic to officially welcome Arthur to his family. Sure, he had a small hand in leading Arthur over to the ‘world’s best parent’ magnet, but it was Arthur that picked out the magnet for you. He knew you were going to make a fantastic parent.

General taglist (comment if you want to be added):

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[where-does-this-go]

@a-redharlequin asked Coldflash: Marriage of Convenience + Curse + Prison

This unconventional answering totally ISN’T because i posted to a deactivated blog, not at all.

Anyway my first thought was ‘this is literally beauty and the beast’ which wouldn’t that be fun but then they added ‘in space’ in the discord so like...

This is a true sci-fi setting, Earths been destroyed for years and humanity lives in the pockets throughout space. Lenoard Snart - a human with no home planet constantly getting into trouble with alien species that want all humans dead, want him specifically dead, or just want to kill and he happens to be there - is limping through space after an unadvised hyper jump due to reasons above. He’s alone, having disengaged from the rest of the rogues in an attempt to split the enemies attention so all ships (Mick also made a diversion flight) could get away. It worked, but not before his navigation was fired.

So, ill-advised hyperspace flight. A limping ship, no navigational systems. He’s spat out when his ship literally can’t hold it together anymore - into the middle of bum fuck no where space where even his comms won’t work. Len’s starting to think he’s going to freeze to death, his oxygen long outlasting his heat systems.

Then he sees it.

It’s the nicest ship he’s ever seen and it’s dead in the water. Knowing he doesn’t have much of a choice, Len tries to hail it. No response. Still not having much of a choice, he decides to board it. The ship is completely empty but immaculate. It even powers on when he reaches the controls.

“I didn’t think anyone would find this hunk of junk.” The voice has him turning around, gun raised at a smirking man that glitches for a moment.

“A holodiary?” Len asks, rolling his eyes at the clicheness of it all, and the hologram laughs.

“Not quite.” It says, replying to him. Len’s loosing grip on his gun immediately tightens.

“Then what, some AI that went crazy?” He guesses next, knowing the gun is useless if that’s the case.

“Something like that. Do humans still have demons in their folklore? I think Demons the best describer.”

“A demon? In the middle of no where?”

“A demon in desperate need of a deal then.” The no-so-hologram brushes him off. “And you look like a human in desperate need of a ship. A win-win, really.”

“I don’t need to make a deal to hotwire a ship.”

“It’s a bit too high-tech to hotwire I’m afraid.” The demon grins, looking rather proud of the ship he’d just called a hunk of junk. “If you make a deal with me, I’ll make you captain. The ship will respond to your every word.”

“What’s in it for you?” Len asks, narrowing his eyes at a deal that sounds too good to be true.

“Human form.” The man says, suddenly looking almost wistful before the expressions gone. “Your life and our deal will sustain it, but you should barely notice the energy.” He adds, much more perky. Len considers his options and, as the energy warning in his suit flashes, he relents that he doesn’t have much of a choice. That’s three times in a row, he hates it.

“Alright.” He agrees. “How do we seal this?” The demon seems almost taken back at how quick he answers.

“A kiss.” He admits and then hesitates. “Humans still have marriage right? Because there’s a few more rules I forgot to mention, they line up with a pretty traditional monogamous marriage. I mean, I’m pretty sure neither of us have many options right now, your ship doesn’t seem to be doing well, but thought I should add that in.” He’s rambling as he says it and Len gets the impression he wasn’t going to add that part in. Not a very good demon, if he’s leaving in the fine print. But he’s right, Len doesn’t have many options. Even if he did, it’s not like he has long standing partner or even friends with benefits. If the demons human form is anything like his hologram form, it’ll be an improvement.

“I’m sure I’ll manage.” Len says, after making sure to be obvious as he looks the demon up and down. Maybe hologram form isn’t accurate, considering the way he blushes.

“Well then, uh,” Len chuckles as the hologram hesitates.

“Didn’t think this far ahead?” He guesses, slipping his helmet off as the oxygen in the ship raises to breathable amounts before stepping in close and pressing their lips together. It’s an odd kiss, feeling as the lips against his turn physical and the ships wakes up, but it’s not a bad one.

“Let’s get out of here.” He announces as they pull apart and the ship immediately responds.

This’ll be an interesting one to explain to the crew.

--

You may notice poison is missing, that’s because I got carried away and have to leave now. I will be back to finish it off soon!

[writingwithcolor]

Elderly Black man with autism and anxiety

@xcherry-popx asked: 

I have a Black man in my story. Some main features of him include 1) being an older (60+?) man and 2) being rather nervous (and likely having anxiety). I've also considered him having autism, but I wanted to handle the anxious aspect first since it will be more prominent.

when creating him, I started out with the idea of an anxious older man and then decided on race. I'm still working on how his anxiety tends to manifest, but my current thoughts include some anger (not violence) and self-soothing in ways like running his hands through his hair. [autism + anxiety is ownvoices]

my main concerns are that:

     A) having his anxiety manifest in anger could be seen as an Angry Black Man, even if he doesn’t hurt anyone (this is in a story where there are some incidents where someone is attacked by someone else, so its not as if his anger is being toned down for the audience)

    B) his anxiety-autism could be seen as infantilizing him (its not immediately obvious, and he is seen as a father figure by many of the other characters. he will probably mostly grow stronger on his own rather than relying on the rest of the cast [if he does use their help, its more indirect, such as someone’s courage inspiring him or another nervous character working through their problems together])

I haven't heard a whole lot about 'weak’ (used very loosely here) Black man stereotypes, but i wanted to double-check since i know i dont have a whole lot of experience

Do you think he may come across as an 'infantilized Black man’ stereotype, or to a lesser extent, an 'Angry Black Man’ stereotype?  

[ask trimmed due to length]

The possibility that he’s undiagnosed 

Depending on the context of the story, it wouldn’t surprise me if his autism and anxiety went undiagnosed (mental health can be a taboo among some Black communities). So one of the questions is : does he know or not ? 

Dealing with emotions / how he handles things

Also it’s hard to deal with really strong feelings, sometimes irrational when you don’t know why you react like that. Being undiagnosed could explain his anger. But judging by his age, he could have learned to live with it ? We don’t know his personality and his life so it’s hard to tell.

Also, I don’t see anything wrong with not being strong or just having weaknesses. It’s human. You just have to take your character’s past into consideration when writing about it, but the rule for the story is that he must evolve. It doesn't mean he should finish entirely strong, without any weaknesses. It’s all about change and being a better person (or not, it depends on your themes and the message you want to convey). 

He hates being helped ? He learns to accept it and ask for help when needed. This is evolving. He could also find a relieving practice to sooth his anger, or that helps him control his emotions. This is evolving too. Or it could get worse, he could totally close up to the others because of the frustration of not being understood, of feeling weak for needing help. That’s life. He’s old and sometimes, people just stop trying. But again, I don’t know what your story is about so I can’t tell you if you should go towards a positive or negative character’s arc. Just remember : it’s all about his evolution.

Anyway, there’s only one thing that will probably prevent you from falling into stereotypes : make him as human as you can, with all his qualities and flaws.

- Mod Lydie

First of all, I second everything Lydie said, especially that first paragraph.

Undiagnosed (potentially) & coping

Being able to write part of this character from experience will be helpful, but you noticed correctly, being a Black man on top of that does have an impact. Like Lydie mentioned, he could easily have gone undiagnosed. There is a taboo in some Black communities, but keep in mind misdiagnoses and lack of professional support can happen as well. Though there are great psychologists out there, there are also those who will be influenced by racial prejudices, who simply won’t take people seriously, and Autism is still poorly understood outside of stereotypes a lot as well.

Going undiagnosed or even just a late diagnosis really impacts a lot of one’s experiences growing up and how you see yourself. It could be another deeply influential part of his identity that mixes things up again so do keep in mind if this is the case for him. Especially when he’s reached 60+, comorbid is very common aside from the anxiety (depression and C-PTSD come to mind). Not that you need to put those in there, especially because it really depends on his background and direct support group, but something to keep in mind as you further flesh your character out.

At such an advanced age one will probably have learned to mask a lot (though a turn to masking less can be seen in older people, especially men, as well). They might have grown used to being different, including feeling misunderstood, frustrated, could become withdrawn or a people pleaser as a coping mechanism, but all of this is all highly dependent on their character as well as their experiences. 

Dealing with his anger & stereotypes 

Thinking outside of the box of how anger can manifest could help as well. Sometimes people express their anger in less obvious ways, or the anger could be hidden under a secondary emotion. His anxiety and Autism will probably be affected by each other as well. Like sensory overload coming hand in hand with anxiety attacks of one leading to the other.

Your concern for having him turn into or interpreted as an angry Black man stereotype is something to look out for. Make sure you fully develop his character, show him to be multifaceted, and give him agency.

I personally don’t see how he’d be seen as infantilized as you described him in your concern B paragraph. It sounds to me like he’s doing to opposite, trying to be hyper self-reliant, but yeah, depending on how you let his anxiety and autism manifest, it could be an issue. It’s hard to really say a lot more than this without more specifics.

Characterization 

To me, this character comes across as one who could have a lot of depth and complexity to him. He would be flawed, he would be interesting, could easily be made relatable as well. But as you guessed, it will take work, care and research to pull him off without falling into potential pitfalls. Having weaknesses and having your character grow is a good thing (and mentioning for anyone who needs to hear it: Autism and Anxiety are in itself not character flaws or weaknesses, but they can lead to someone manifesting them). This is not only due to the stereotypes, but also because there’s not that much rep out there and you will be battling against ingrained biases and stigma as well. 

That said, this is the type of character I always look forward to reading. 

- Alice

[kangtaebins]

Pair your mutuals with a txt member they will most likely get along with or which one of your mutuals (along with a txt member) will most likely be the first one to run out of a haunted house and who’d fight the actors

Ooo how fun! I’ll do both! For the mutuals though I’m just going to include the ones that I interact with daily (enough for one per member) so if someone isn’t included I don’t mean anything negative by it I promise :) I love and appreciate all my besties.

———————-

Ryu (@hueningkai)🐻💖: This will come as no shock when I say Ryu would get along best with Hueningkai. That’s not because they’re Hueningkai biased either- it’s simply bc they’re similar in many ways. They both are genuinely sweet towards everyone unless given a reason not to be. They both embrace their inner child in the same ways. Whether it’s movies they used to watch as a kid or building up their plushie / toy collection, they remind me of each other. Not to mention, they both care so much about those they love. The way Hueningkai treats the members (although he can be quite hyper and menacing), is reflective of the way Ryu treats me and others they care for. Perhaps it’s getting a little long but I have strong feelings about this as ofc I’m biased :) Nonetheless !! They would also be most likely to run out of the haunted house first (but not without dragging me with them).

Vivi (@choiyeonjuns)🦎: Let’s see,,, for Miss Vivi I feel like she’d get along with Yeonjun the best. I know these already sound like I’m purposely choosing their biases but I swear I’m not. Anyway, Vivi gives me big sister energy sometimes. She’s also very sweet and attentive for those she cares about but in a different way. Also yk how Yeonjun makes the most random facial expressions in reaction to things,, Vivi energy.

Erin (@jikjinz)💫: Erin is total Soobin energy and perhaps its bc they’re both Sagittarius- which normally would give me the ick immediately but they’re both an exception. She’s another mutual that gives me big sister energy. She bullies me as a form of affection but at the end of the day just hopes I’m doing well and taking care. Yk how Soobin fanboys and sings and dances to other artists on vlive?? That’s very,, Erin. Also both radiate bestie vibes and idk how to even describe that.

Lulu (@rikitual)🐧: This one feels obvious to me but Lulu is so Taehyun. They both give me the vibe that they stay up at night wondering about very very specific things like idk how the earth spins or smth. On top of that, Lulu although they can get quite excited about things they enjoy (insert Taehyun screaming), they’re also very calm and relaxed which is something I enjoy about them. They’re observant and analytical in some ways which all lead back to Taehyun.

Woo (@yeonjuins)🎨: It wouldn’t make sense for me to say anyone but Beomgyu. Both of them are such caps lock texters I can feel it. Well, I know Woo is for sure- but you can’t tell me Beomgyu isn’t when he literally screams all the time. Despite being hyper, they both have a lot of detailed opinions and thoughts about things and as fellow pisces,, can be a tad sappy and emotional in the most endearing way. I also feel the need to say that she would most definitely be the one to fight the haunted house actors BUT ONLY IN THE CASE OF LIKE SHE GOT SCARED AND ACCIDENTALLY PUNCHED THEM OUT OF REFLEX OR SMTH

[mysteriesofloves]

I often wonder, gg remake aside, how the og gg would be received by today’s audience; particularly dair. particularly in the case of networks and streaming and if the writers weren’t such 🐱s afraid of a bunch of teenage girls and fully committed to their choices without fear or care of a drop in ratings.

I didn’t even watch the og gg past season 2 or 3 but I know that s1 - s5 vs s6 tonally feel like two very different shows and an obvious last minute Hail Mary to pander to a toxic specific audience. I just wonder if the show’s og demographic (15-20 yo girls), in 2022, who’s slightly more cognizant of abusive/toxic dynamics, would’ve rooted for 🪑.

and it’s always funny and ironic to see 🪑s blame the ratings drop on dair and claim that it only happened due to dair when it was simply other, more “interesting”shows premiering on the cw like supernatural and 90210. And the plots of gg, especially by s4, had become so banal and uninteresting because they essentially sold the show’s soul in exchange for ratings (🪑s/chip stans)

*whew anyway! sorry for the essay but your tags about the writers needing a quick, sloppy, and ooc way to break up dair in service of chair made me think a lot of thoughts. enjoy the rest of your day/night 😓

don’t apologize you’re making good points! honestly i don’t know if gg would be as much of a cultural moment if it aired today, the ~escapism of it was really suited to the time and it’s staying power is highly nostalgia-fuelled (as well as a lot of the fashion/aesthetics still carrying on into today) but like… the reboot definitely wasn’t as popular (but no reboots ever are)

there are still a lot of 🪑 shippers (being a 🪑 in 2022 is embarrassing as hell but whatever😩) but i’m unsure how many of those are new viewers, it seems like they’re mostly fans from the time still around. i think tv audiences online today are actually hyper aware of unhealthy relationships being portrayed in media—like, i don’t mind 🪑 existing, i think it’s in the framing of chip as some big leading romantic hero, when that’s not what he is (he’s not even good at being a bad boy or a rich boyfriend type because he’s literally just uninteresting and not charming and the bad things he does totally outweigh the good lol) and them being a great love story instead of what they are. it’s infinitely more interesting when they’re a struggling power dynamic and a facet of blair’s story, not chuck’s—so i do think people would be more aware of the portrayal being wrong today. definitely none of chuck’s SA/the hotel incident would be able to air today without backlash (unless they were condemned in the show more than they were). it’s hard to say but i do think dair would’ve had more of a shot at being endgame if the show was airing today.

[drabbles-mc]

Try Again

Kozik x OFC (Tawnie Trager) (ft. Dad!Tig Trager)

Request by Anon: Kozik x female reader, where reader is Tig's first daughter (bit older than the twins, called Tawnie for lols) and no-one knows they're together, until Kozik overhears Gemma question Tawnie about the hickeys - who is like "I'm not sure whether to be mad that they're there, or mad that they're not that good" and then Kozik is pretty much like, 'challenge accepted', and Tig catches them when Kozik tries to leave better ones...?

Prequel can be found Here

Warnings: language, alcohol, slight steam

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: I changed it to an OFC because the prompt felt almost a little too specific to keep it as a reader-insert lol. Hope you don’t mind! Also, y’all really like seeing Kozik come within an inch of his life with Dad!Tig lmaoooo love it

Join my group-chat here: (X) ​

SOA Taglist: @garbinge​ @masterlistforimagines​ @adela-topaz-caelon​ @mijop​ @chibsytelford​ @xladymacbethx​ @i-just-read-stuff​ @kkim120​ @multiyfandomgirl40​ @toni9​ @unicornucopia-fuckers​ @mayans-sauce​ @shadow-of-wonder​ (If you want to be added to the taglist, just let me know!)

She walked into the office with a box of files in her hands. Setting it down on Gemma’s desk, she let out a sigh. Rolling and cracking her neck, she pulled her hair back for a moment to help cool down. Normally she wouldn’t be caught dead with her hair down in the middle of summer, but things had gotten a little heated the night before and Kozik had left a scattering of hickeys on the side of her neck. The rule was always to keep it below the collar but they both got a little wrapped up in things. It wasn’t a huge deal when it happened for him—he could blame it on any of the women who hung around the clubhouse. But for her it was a bit of a tougher situation.

Her father had made it clear from the get-go that she and both of her sisters were off-limits to every man in the club. Even men who were friends of the club. No one was to do so much as toss a wink or a potentially flirtatious comment their way. And for as much as she tried to tell her father that he was being ridiculous, that she was a grown woman who could and would make her own decisions, he never budged. After all, Tig had never been known for being a man to compromise.

So it was bad enough that she was sneaking behind her father’s back with someone in the club. What made it even worse was the fact that it was the one person in the MC that he couldn’t stand. She didn’t even remember how her and Kozik fell into the situation that they were in. He was always friendly with her, but he was one of the most cautious around her because he knew that Tig wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet in him if he so much as thought Kozik was hitting on his daughter. And yet, somehow that flipped completely around and the two of them were sneaking off whenever the situation allowed for it.

The last few months were playing at hyper-speed in her mind as she let herself breathe for a moment in the privacy of Gemma’s office. She was staring blankly down at the box that she had just brought in, too zoned out to notice the fact that Gemma had walked in behind her.

“Well, well, well,” Gemma chuckled as she walked up behind her, “What’d you get yourself into last night, T?”

Fear shot down her spine and she instantly let her hair go, “What?”

Gemma shook her head, “Too late to hide it now, sweetheart,” she brushed her hair out of the way to get a better look at her neck, “Since you’re busted, you gotta tell me,” she leaned back against the desk, “Who done it, Tawnie?”

She rolled her eyes, “You cannot tell my dad.”

Gemma chuckled, “What Tig doesn’t know won’t hurt him. So,” she nudged Tawnie’s shoulder, “spill the beans, sweetheart.”

Kozik was about to walk in to ask Gemma about something when he heard the two of them talking. He stopped himself, lurking right outside the door. He was curious to see how the conversation was going to go—he wanted to know if Tawnie would actually confide in someone about the two of them. He’d been good, he hadn’t told a single soul about the two of them being together. It was too small of a town and word traveled way too fast. His days were numbered as it was and he didn’t want to shorten his lifespan any more than necessary by having Tig find out that he was hooking up with his daughter.

Tawnie sighed, running her hands down her face, “Kozik.”

Gemma’s eyes went wide, “Honey, why do you want him to get the shit kicked out of him?”

She laughed, “I don’t! I don’t. Please, please don’t tell my dad.”

“I won’t,” Gemma shook her head slightly, “How’d that happen, anyway?”

She shrugged, feeling the heat rise slightly in her cheeks, “I don’t really know. It all sorta just…fell together.”

“How long?”

She paused, not wanting to admit how long they’d been hiding it, “Couple months.”

“A couple months?” Gemma chuckled and shook her head, “You’ve been sneaking around for a couple months and the man still can’t leave a proper hickey?”

She laughed, giving her a playful shove, “Gemma!”

“What? I’m just saying,” she glanced at her neck, “I could leave a better one than that. And your father would be much less pissed off about it.”

“You gonna give him a how-to manual, Gemma?”

She shook her head, “That’s something he’s gotta learn on his own, sweetheart.”

She laughed, “Is that something you’d like updates on?”

Gemma smiled as she fixed Tawnie’s hair, covering back up the marks on her neck, “You won’t need to tell me—I’ll see it for myself.”

There were a few beats of silence before she spoke up again, “Thank you for, y’know, not ratting me out to my dad.”

She smiled, “The girls gotta stick together.”

Taking that as her cue to leave, Tawnie made her way towards the office door. Kozik heard the sound of her footsteps and tried to back off enough so that it wouldn’t seem obvious that he was waiting right outside the door for her. Despite the distance, though, his face gave him away. She could tell from his expression that he was trying to cover for himself, which meant that he had most definitely heard her conversation with Gemma. She felt a little bad, but she also wanted to see what he was going to say.

“Oh, hey,” she smiled, tilting her head slightly, “You good?”

He nodded, “Yea, I’m…I’m good. Is, uh, is Gemma in there?”

So he was going to play it off for the time being. Two could play at that game. She nodded, “Yea, just got in.”

“Alright, cool. Thanks. I’ll see you later?”

She nodded, “Yea of course. You gonna be around tonight for the party?”

“Are you?”

She smiled, “I think so.”

A smirk passed over his face for a moment, “Then I think so too.”

The day went by quickly. She kept herself busy with random things around the garage and the clubhouse. Normally she’d be getting her hands dirty working on whatever needed repairs, but if she couldn’t tie her hair back out of the way, she wasn’t even going to bother. It would’ve been more trouble than it was worth.

She was helping bring in a few cases of beer as people started showing up for the party. It was dark out by that point, music and loud conversations already starting to flow out through the walls of the clubhouse. She smiled and shook her head to herself as she bumped the door open with her hip.

“T,” Jax appeared on the other side of the bar from her and gave his most charming smile, “grab me a beer, please?”

She rolled her eyes but did as he asked. She popped the top off of it before handing it to him, “I’m not a bartender, Teller.”

“If you’re on that side of the bar, you’re a bartender. Those are the rules.”

She laughed and shook her head before grabbing a beer for herself, “Guess you can carry your own shit in next time.”

Making her way back to the side of the bar that wouldn’t land her with more responsibilities, she looked around the clubhouse. Everyone was hanging out having a good time. A few of the guys were playing pool, and some of them already had women draped over their laps. She chuckled as she sat herself down on a stool at the bar. Pressing the beer bottle to her lips, she silently looked for Kozik in the midst of the chaos.

They locked eyes from across the room. He was sitting on the sofa, one of the women from Cara Cara tucked underneath his arm. She almost felt herself getting jealous, but when he smiled at her all of those feelings faded away. They both knew that the price of keeping their relationship a secret was having to allow a certain amount of flirtation from the people around them. He never got too close with any of the women who hung around the clubhouse, but he couldn’t be too cold and dismissive without at least one of the guys giving him shit about it.

Tawnie refused to break eye contact as she took a long drink from her beer bottle. She could see it in his eyes that even though the party had barely started, he already wanted to leave with her. She would’ve been up for that, too, if he asked. But she knew that he wouldn’t. She contented herself with keeping an eye on everyone around her.

Tig walked up, throwing a loving arm around his daughter’s shoulders, “How you doin’, doll?”

She chuckled and leaned against him for a moment, giving him a side-hug, “I’m good, Dad. Enjoying the party?”

“Always,” he laughed, “But are you?”

She chuckled, nodding, “You know me—I’m more than happy to just sit back and watch everyone else get into trouble.”

“Good way to stay out of it.”

“Exactly,” she gave him a playful nudge, “Go keep the boys in line, alright?”

He smiled, pressing a brief kiss to the top of her head, “Love you, T.”

“Love you too,” she laughed as he took off into the fray of things.

Once the party had really gotten underway, Kozik made his way over to her. It felt safer to be closer when there was so much else going on around them—they weren’t on anyone’s radar. He leaned in close so that only she could hear him. At first it was just jokes, off-hand comments about what was going on around them. She’d laugh and shake her head, and Kozik could swear that he’d never heard a better sound.

“Think we could sneak out for a bit?” he asked.

She looked at him, eyebrows raised, “Oh?”

He nodded, “Yea,” he pushed her hair back behind her shoulder, “because apparently I have some work to make up for.”

Heat rushed to her face and she wanted to hide behind her hands. Even though she knew that he had heard the conversation with Gemma, talking about it was an entirely different thing. She looked up at him, a nervous smile on her face.

“I didn’t say—”

“Don’t even,” he laughed and shook his head.

She laughed as well, knowing that there was no trying to soften the blow to his ego. He seemed to be handling it just fine, though. They both looked around to see if anyone was paying attention to them before sneaking back towards the dorms.

Once they were in the hall, out of the main cluster of the clubhouse, Kozik instantly had his hands all over her. He walked up behind her, sliding his hands up her sides beneath her top. Without thinking about it, she melted back into him, reaching back with one hand to trail her fingers down the side of his face. His fingers gripped onto her side as he kissed along her shoulder. He spun her around so that her chest was pressed against his, pushing her back against the wall.

He crashed his lips into hers as he pinned her to the wall. She gripped the edges of his kutte and attempted to pull him as close as she possibly could. They knew it was reckless to not even bother waiting to get to his dorm, but she wasn’t in the mood to be telling him to stop. Any and all responsible thoughts left her brain the second he bit down on her bottom lip.

He pulled his lips off of hers, trailing them down along her jaw and peppering her with kisses all along the way. She couldn’t help but to smile as he placed a kiss on her neck, “Gonna give it another shot?”

His laughter vibrated against her skin, “I feel like I have to. Can’t let Gemma disrespect me like that.”

She laughed and was about to make a smart remark when she felt his teeth against the sensitive skin of her neck. Her fingers wound their way into his hair, eyes fluttering shut as his hand slipped up the front of her shirt as he continued to suck a dark mark into the side of her throat. His name was about to fall from her lips in a quiet moan when their moment was interrupted.

“What the fuck is this?” Tig snapped, eyes darting back and forth between the two of them.

Kozik immediately backpedaled, nearly plastering himself against the opposite wall from Tig’s daughter. Tawnie’s face was flushed, hair and shirt a mess as she tried to look anywhere but into the eyes of her dad. She knew it was their own doing, but she still didn’t want to have to have this conversation with him.

“You’re a dead motherfucker,” within a split second Tig was charging at Kozik,

“Dad!” Tawnie jumped in, barely being able to wedge herself between the two men before serious damage was done, “Dad, stop!” she shoved him backwards with all the strength she could muster.

Tig’s chest was heaving as he looked down at his daughter, “What the fuck, T?”

“You don’t get to tell me who I can and can’t see,” she sounded much more confident than she really felt.

“This,” he pointed at Kozik, “is not a good choice, Tawnie.”

“You don’t get to decide that for me!”

Kozik’s eyes were bouncing back and forth between the two Tragers. It wasn’t often that he saw Tawnie get heated and defensive about things. He’d certainly never pictured her speaking like that to her own father. He wanted to step in and say something but he had the feeling that that was only going to make it worse.

“And you,” Tig’s eyes bored into his, “what the fuck are you thinking?!”

It was hard to try and sound tough when Tawnie was the only thing standing between him and getting his ass beat. He still tried, though. He rested his hands protectively on her shoulders and looked directly into Tig’s eyes.

“I’m think that she’s right. That you don’t get to make that decision for us.”

“For us?” Tig stepped in closer, his blood boiling.

“I’m an adult, Dad,” Tawnie was shaking her head, “And for what it’s worth, I don’t think you get to criticize who I’m seeing when you were about to bring some random woman back to your dorm,” she cocked one eyebrow.

That got Tig to recoil a bit. He hooked his thumbs onto his belt-loops, trying to figure out what he wanted his next move to be. After a few moments of incredibly tense silence, he looked back at his daughter, “We aren’t done talking about this.”

Before she could try to give any kind of sass in return, Tig turned around and headed back towards the main part of the clubhouse, the woman he was about to whisk away following suit. Tawnie let out a deep sigh of relief as she leaned back against Kozik, taking comfort in the feeling of his arms draped over her shoulders as he kissed the top of her forehead.

“Did you think you were gonna die?” she laughed.

He chuckled, loosely wrapping his arms around her neck as he pulled her back against him, “For a second, yea.”

“My last resort would’ve been telling him that Gemma told you to do it,” she tilted her head back so she could look up at him.

He smiled down at her, “I kinda wish that you did, just so we could see his reaction.”

“He still might’ve killed you.”

“Maybe,” he sighed as he rested his forehead lightly against the back of her head.

“Does this mean you’re going to bail on your redemption plans?”

He slid his hands down so that they were resting on her hips again. Without a word he turned her and began pushing her down the hall in the direction of his dorm. She laughed as she let herself be guided down the row of doors.

“I don’t give up that easy,” he laughed quietly as he pressed a kiss to her temple.

[cuntess-carmilla]

Common traits of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome

I’m not a doctor, so there may be some details off here though tbh chronically ill people usually know more than most doctors. I'm making this post because there’s very little awareness about this, and people who fit the diagnosis criteria end up never being diagnosed and suffering in silence, even risking early deaths, as I now suspect happened to my grandma.

Definition:

Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS) is a group of disorders that affect connective tissue. It’s a genetic disorder that has no cure, but does have palliative treatments depending on the type of EDS.

All types of EDS are characterized by abnormal collagen synthesis. This doesn’t mean that you have too little collagen (necessarily?), but that the collagen your body synthesizes is and will always be altered or of bad quality, regardless of how much of it you synthesize.

EDS is regarded as “rare” by most doctors, but many patients believe it’s more common than they think, only being so “rare” on paper because doctors perceive it as rare, so they don’t diagnose patients despite fitting the criteria (search why EDS communities use the zebra as a symbol). Due to this, EDS communities encourage self-diagnosis, and many times even self-treatment.

Abnormal collagen sounds like it’s “only” one thing, but collagen is a key structural protein ALL over the body, so if your collagen is wrong, a lot of things are wrong or at the very least unusual. As a result, EDS affects the skin, ligaments, joints, blood vessels and other organs (including gastrointestinal organs and the uterus).

Common traits and symptoms:

Please, keep in mind that these symptoms don’t have to be super extreme to count. EDS symptoms range from mild to severe. Most of my symptoms aren’t remarkably visible to the eye, but they’re still bad enough that I suffer tremendously and it affects every single aspect of my life.

Take into account that many of the following traits/symptoms aren’t exclusive to EDS, but if you have more than one or two...

Joint hypermobility: Being "double jointed". The joints are so lax, that they luxate or even dislocate for as much as staying still in the same position too long. It can affect some joints, or all joints, small joints or big joints. It obviously comes associated with joint pain, including chronic joint pain. Can also manifest as scoliosis.

Skin elasticity: You can pull your skin (by pinching it) and it stretches more than the skin of most people. This can, in some cases, make EDS patients prone to skin sagging.

Abnormal scarring: The skin of people with EDS is fragile and elastic, and takes longer to heal. Abnormal scarring includes “cigarette paper” scarring, keloids, slow scarring and healing, higher propensity to stretch marks, post-inflammatory hyper-pigmentation.

Bruising too easily: The blood vessels of people with EDS are fragile to one degree or another. This makes us prone to bruising easily or dramatically, to the point some present spontaneous bruising. Spontaneous bruising might point to vascular EDS, in which case please seek medical help because it’s the most dangerous form of EDS. There’s cases recorded of parents who’ve been falsely accused of beating their children because of the child’s easy or spontaneous bruising.

Digestive and/or nutritional issues: GUESS what intestines and other digestive organs are made of. Yes, collagen. People with EDS are prone to having delicate digestive systems (IBS, nausea, constipation, diarreah and food allergies included), and/or difficulty absorbing the nutrients from our diet. This trait can be bad enough that the patient needs to be fed through a tube or have nutrients injected into their bloodstream, but most of us do fine with regular nutritional supplements (I recommend multivitamins and minerals). Among other things, the nutrient absorption issue makes us prone to excessive hydration due to imbalance of water-salt intake or absorption, and that’s a REALLY bad thing. It made my hair fall off MASSIVELY for years, and intensified my pain, brain fog and fatigue.

Chronic fatigue: Between the physical pain and bad nutrient absorption, most if not all of us experience chronic fatigue (as a symptom, not the disorder). This isn’t just being tired, it’s being exhausted to your bones for no reason all the time, even if you’ve done absolutely nothing in weeks. Might be pervasive, might be recurrent.

Muscle pain: When you have EDS Everything Hurts™. This can be exacerbated in EDS patients by imbalance of water-salt intake (generally leaning towards excessive hydration, but can be dehydration too).

Chronic pain: Everything Hurts™... All the time. It’s a general pain expanded throughout your body that just won’t go the fuck away no matter what you do. Except that this can be exacerbated by imbalance of water-salt intake too! Fixing mine made my chronic and muscle pain so much more bearable to the point that on a good day it’s GONE (just remember, your pee should NEVER be even close to clear, it should just not be solidly opaque, and you could damage your kidneys too by drinking too much water).

Brain fog: Linked to chronic fatigue and pain (ALSO POSSIBLY THE WATER-SALT INTAKE). Like chronic pain and fatigue, it’s not necessarily present every single day, but be recurrent instead. You can’t think. You can’t read or process what you read. You can’t turn thoughts into words. Your grammar goes to shit. You can’t retain or process new information. You can’t remember words that you KNOW you know. You can’t remember things in general. Someone asks you a simple question and it’s like they’re speaking to you in another language. You start to feel increasingly frustrated and desperate because you’re constantly disoriented and your mind is lagging like an old computer running on a 256 MB RAM memory. ERROR 404 BRAIN NOT FOUND TRY AGAIN LATER. Well, turns out you are not dumb, your body is not cooperating with you, and that includes your brain.

Asthma: Highly comorbid. Just... Everything is made of collagen, pal. EVERYTHING.

Autism: Don’t ask me why, but EDS and autism are highly comorbid too, so if you’re in the autism spectrum (same hat) and experience any or many of the other symptoms/traits listed, it’s very likely that you also have EDS.

Depression: It’s really hard to be "positive”, have any motivation or enjoy anything, when NOTHING in your body works right, Everything Hurts™ and you’re so depressingly exhausted that all you CAN do is lay in bed all day. People and doctors telling you you’re “faking it”, people thinking you’re lazy, underestimating how much pain and fatigue you’re going through, having to pull through all of that anyway because you have no other option (ie. your job is your or your family’s only source of income) does not help AT ALL with this.

Tight/narrow “inner plumbing”: In my case, my throat is so narrow, that swallowing one (1) small pill is genuinely difficult, and big pills make me GAG. But its not just your throat, it’s ALL your plumbing being too tight or narrow.

Varicose veins: The whole blood vessels being fragile thing. Most common in vascular EDS, please seek help if you think you may have that specific type.

Thin “transparent” soft skin: Again... FUCKING COLLAGEN. I think it’s obvious what this one means? Except it’s likely that it’s harder to notice the “transparent” part of it on darker skinned patients, but if you’re pale or light skinned, you’d be one of those people whose veins are very easy to see.

“Moldable” nails: Yet again, collagen is everywhere. Some of my nails (index and middle fingers) are slightly deformed because I tend to clench my hands A LOT by instinct and the continued pressure changed their shape.

Aracnodactilia, or “spidery” hands/fingers: The fingers are very skinny and long in proportion to the rest of the hand, can apply to feet too. Having very narrow feet (ie. your shoes are always to wide for you) is part of this.

Gynecological issues or abnormalities: Excessive bleeding during your period, bleeding outside your period, infertility, spontaneous abortions, pre-term labor, high risk pregnancies. Very common with vascular EDS too.

Dry eyes: I didn’t know about this one until like, literally two days ago but apparently it’s a thing, since the test this Chilean EDS specialist we’re hoping to see gives you, includes it as a potential symptom.

“Elongated” body, face (and its features) and/or limbs: Actually the aracnodactilia is often part of this. I also have no idea why but many EDS patients have “elongated”, narrower features, be it subtle or very visible.

Chronic fatigue and brain fog are really hard to describe properly to people who don’t go through them. Hell, even to people who DO go through them. So here’s two videos by Jessica Kellgren-Fozard (just in case, she was misdiagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but discovered recently that she has EDS, besides her neurological condition). All her videos have CC.