#anyway if i could delete one thing from the fandom it would probably be the hopesexual jokes amen

[stupidlittlespirit]

i've seen the "he'd never date a woman" thing with ford so much, which i think about a lot. like it's one thing to just headcanon him as gay but there are a lot of posts where internalized or blatant misogyny shine bright. one i saw straight up had multiple people going "he respects women too much to want to date/fuck them" like hello? do you realize what you are implying ab real women when you say that?

i'm not great at articulating my thoughts but i think it's especially prominent with ford because of his intelligence + unconventional demeanor. he's off-putting and a genius and didn't want to give up his work to settle down into a standard marriage with kids. women can't be weird or smart in the same way men can for example and all women want the typical white picket fence nuclear family american dream. therefore you are off your gourd if you think he'd ever want to be with a woman. so there’s that on top of the already rampant misogyny present in fandom spaces with shipping especially.

there's also the whole "gibe the oracle your phone number" / "i miss dimension 52" that could have some implications if you want but ig i can't blame people for forgetting jeselbraum because hirsch barely expands on her LOL. but basically it’s all up to interpretation and it really isn’t all that wild to think he could be attracted to women.

personally i just enjoy projecting my own sexuality onto him. “what gender are you attracted to?” don’t care. can i show you my isopod colonies. “how would you describe your sexual attraction?” uhhhhhhhhhhh (<- is probably demisexual)

So, I deleted my post because I felt like I was rehashing points I'd previously made a million times before, but I stand by it.

I want to address what you said and then I want to kind of go on a tangent (shocker, I know) about the interpretation of GF at large because I've been engaging with a lot of Lynch stuff recently, who we know was by and large the most influential person for Hirsch, and one of the biggest things around Lynch's work is the beauty of subjectiveness. I think Hirsch carries that legacy with him at the heart of his work.

So yeah, the comments about Ford 'respecting women too much' is insane. If anyone thinks that they are probably the kind of person who doesn't respect a woman anyway. If your hands sully the one you touch, perhaps your hands were not so clean to begin with, yknow? That's the vibe I always get with those kinds of comments.

Society approaches women so differently from men in this regard, as you said. Where a man is 'quirky' and 'cool', a woman is 'annoying' or 'trying too hard'. She suffers for her differences where as he profits for them. She can only commit the crime of being Cringe, and in my experience, people will forgive many things but never that.

There is certainly merit in the way in which a lot of people recognise that Ford is partial to things that are 'weird' or that are shunned by society, especially because of his hands, and that plays well into Queer culture. It's a feeling most of us (if not all of us) experience. So I can see where there connection comes and it's totally cool to hold that belief. Queer is BIG umbrella and I think he falls under it myself, what with the ace/aro stuff. We're given much more canon evidence of him being ace/aro, in fact, than of anything else. I maintain personally that canon Ford is asexual and aromantic, and that romance doesn't factor into his life in the way it does for 'normal' people. It's why when Bill mentions that quiz Ford does in his dreams in TBoB it makes me think of my own struggles with asexuality: "I'm not normal, everyone else is feeling this type of way and I'm feeling that type of way. There's something wrong with me. I'm weird. I need answers." It feels very much like Ford is attempting to understand that side of himself and is very afraid of the answer.

The Oracle stuff makes me so sad it was never expanded on more. I really love Jheselbraum and it felt like she was one of the first people that Ford met who was of higher intelligence than him, and who actually did just want to help. She extended an extreme kindness to him. Whether it was more than that doesn't even really matter. There was still a relationship formed there that can't be discounted. But again, it can be interpreted in lots of different ways.

This is the other thing. There's nothing wrong with projecting yourself onto your favourite character. We all do it. I do it. It's fun and it brings comfort. And that's okay! But that means we can all do it. So it's unfair for someone else to say "you're wrong for thinking XYZ about Ford" because we're all just kids in a sandbox playing house with these characters. You can't gatekeep someone else's enjoyment.

You can believe Ford is gay. You can believe Ford is ace. You can believe Ford is whatever you want him to be, but what you can't do is then rescind that privilege from someone else just because you don't like it or because it makes you feel better about yourself to punch down on someone else. People are entitled to their own interpretations of media, even if they make you feel uncomfortable or whatever.

Which brings us onto Lynch. Now, I'm not a huge surrealist fan, I like Lynch most for the person that he was (ugh I'm still so sad to type that). One of the biggest things about him was that he valued the intelligence of his audience and respected them enough to allow them the space to interpret his works as they saw fit. He never wanted to define his films in a way that would prevent another person from taking their own meaning from it. There was no definition, only feeling.

There's a clip of him being asked to expand on his meaning for one of his films, I forget which one, and he just replies "no". It's so fucking good because that, to me, is art. It is fundamentally subjective in its existence and the way I view something is not going to be the way someone else does, so why take that interpretation away from one to give to another just for their approval? We may align in thoughts but the way we process the media is going to be entirely different. Why? Because we're different people. Our experiences throughout our lives have informed the way we interact with things.

I think Alex Hirsch enjoys other people making their own interpretations of his work in a similar way. Just as Lynch does. Hirsch wants you, the audience, to derive personal meaning. He doesn't need (or even want) to tell you how to engage with the themes because why would he? It would only make him work harder to get a simpler point across and it would risk alienating parts of his audience. He wants the audience to connect and to find their own familiarities, and he respects his audience enough to give them the space to let them do that. He's often evasive when he's asked to tie things down firmly. To be honest, I think he should be braver in just saying "no, I don't want to answer that" sometimes. You can tell he wants to but he also wants to engage with people so it can be hard.

People are very desperate to want to have answers in black and white. They need things to be canon in order to feel vindicated, when in actual fact, an idea is just as legitimate when it comes to fiction. Fiction IS an idea. It isn't tangible and therefore cannot be quantified, so it can be interpreted however.

Anyway, by forcing your interpretation of the work onto others (ie. 'Ford would never', 'Stan would never' etc), I think you fundamentally misunderstand what the purpose of the work is. You're taking away the light of other people because you're scared yours doesn't shine bright enough. And you're scared because other people previously took your light away, but all you're doing is repeating the cycle and taking away from the rest of us.

Your ideas can coexist with others. No one is right and in that, everyone is right. Does that make sense? Idk.

I voice my opinions of disliking certain ways the fandom engages with elements of the show, but I don't think they have less right to have those ideas than I do to have my own. I interpret Bill as one way and someone else will interpret him another. That's okay. You're allowed to do that. But I don't think you're allowed to be actively vicious to others over it.

Engage with honesty and recognise that other people enjoys things in different ways, and it's okay not to control the narrative of that sometimes.

I have my criticisms of Hirsch but I also have a lot of love for the guy, and one of the biggest things I respect about him is him allowing us to draw our own beliefs. Do I think he could stand to do some things better? Yes. But that doesn't mean I don't love what I already have from his work.

I'm not sure if this makes sense, I'm having a bit of a Day, but I hope it at least reads well enough to convey my meaning.

[min0uet]

what people do not understand about nagito komaeda is that his obsession with hope is not romantic or sexual in nature [i do Not care what the dr3 anime had to say hope this helps] but rather comes from a sort of religious devotion as an extreme coping mechanism send tweet

[skrunksthatwunk]

stole this chart from @asubakaa and spent wayyy too much time making my own so. yeah. also i did 6 instead of 5 bc i know no restraint

[theshadowrealmitself]

Ty @phanboyo for the tag!

Rules: Make a new post and post your latest line from your WIP & tag as many people as there are words.

“Because every time you say being with me is “logical,” all I can think of is how many things I hate doing but do anyways because of logic, like being civil instead of punching jerks cause I don’t wanna spend a night in jail! I just worry…that you secretly resent being with me…”

(Oof, I am not going to be able to tag that many people but I’ll give it my best shot)

@warlock-pan-astronaut @pandorasparad0x @asterism343 @lenacraft @roundaboutnow @charmps-you-grickly @hopeful-bat @kelpeigh @zephyrwrites @dyinggirldied @ghostface3100 @daxsleftshoe @zero-way-out @chickenlover-19 @vivacia-18 @reveriewings @madametamma @magicalprofessorsludgedeputy @reckless-desire-to-live @bllbabaggins @kaisspamblog @mystic-fairy-tame @auroraborealis95 @harley-rose25 @mango-meister @candyheartdoe @ghospectr @easilydistractedandamused @ashoutinthedarkness @quetzalrofl @screamingrunawayzombie @they-meme-well (giving up here cause I’m a quitter 😭😭😭)

[buddiekinard]

ao3 was created so fans would be legally safe from creators trying to sue them for writing fic and from platforms being able to suddenly start banning and deleting creations that we had worked hard on without any notice or warning when they decided to “crack down” on “adult” material. the reason you can post what you want with no limitations as long as it’s warned for is to keep everyone safe from unnecessary censorship because once you start banning things it’s a slippery slope of ‘but what about this’ until suddenly none of us are safe. i watched it happen in real time. i was there when ao3 was created after lj decided to do just that.

it is so fucking frustrating to see people using ao3’s policies like this. we need a place like ao3 that isn’t for profit, that allows people the creative freedom to explore whatever topics they want without the fear of censorship but where people who don’t want to see that content can avoid it. ao3 is a good thing and i never want to see it change.

i hate this for our fandom. i hate this for fandom in general. its a bad look, and i can’t believe people are just writing csa and graphic murder fic for funsies and laughs to MOCK people.

i am a firm believer in ao3’s policies. i think people should write what they want and read what they want and it doesn’t dictate who you are as a person because none of this is real.

but to write this shit and post it untagged (or in some cases mistagged so people open a fic that is tagged as fluff to see things that could trigger them) is severely fucked up. its not cute. its not funny. you are actively harming people and abusing a website that is meant to be a safe haven for everyone in fandom.

the fact that it’s not even just in the bucktommy tag and they’re tagging other pairings now makes me feel like this is just other people piggybacking off of the original one. or maybe they’ve decided to branch out. who knows. but this is clearly a fandom problem and it’s really frustrating and sad to see.

anyway. i typed all of this on my phone. its not even 5am. i don’t know what i even said. it’s probably all nonsense but im just frustrated.

[deadtwinksdetectiveagency]

my thoughts on the whole Cameo Thing™

Putting my first tweet in a screenshot; the rest is copy-pasted. And for context, since the quoted tweet was (understandably) deleted, it said, "Yes $100 is a lot, and it feels a little classist as some of us won’t be able to afford it."

Cameos are not a public service. No one is hurt by not having the ability to spend $100 on a video. No one is being treated worse than others because they can't afford a personalized video. I don't understand how "classist" would even come to mind.

Even if that was the worst example, I'd still fully get J's reaction. He and G are professionals. They deserve to be paid fairly. Based on G's earlier rate, other ppl's cameo rates, con photo rates, and how unique J&G are... $100 is a great deal.

I expected the $100 price tag. If George charged $50 for one person... I mean, there's two of them now. 50 x 2 = 100. I'm shocked that more than a handful of folks were surprised.

A personal anecdote: I've just started taking art commissions this fall. I am finally confident enough to charge a rate that fairly compensates me. Honestly, I should probably charge more.

Things like art commissions, cameos, convention photos/signings all fall under the same umbrella. They are treats. They are luxuries. They are never going to be equally accessible to all. It's not just price; it's also time, expertise, location, etc.

What kind of message does it send artists, writers, actors, creatives, etc when we frame their reasonable* rates as selfish and wrong? * reasonable based on industry standard, not on individuals' wallets

Anyway. J radiated enthusiasm for another chance to engage with us. I expected his happy bubble to burst at some point—I was surprised by his level of fandom engagement tbh—but that doesn't make it any less fucking sad.

-

If you're upset or heartbroken or angry because Jayden is backing away: maybe think about why, and if you could change what you do to help protect yourself from suffering this kind of distress should something similar happen again.

[toxicanonymity]

For context, a tumblr account has been posting anon hate for the past week or so, mostly toward writers. A parasocial hater of mine discovered the account and has been going to town. I posted this after they invoked Israel as an analogy. Yes really.

Obviously I am disgusted by what I just read, and floored that anyone would post such a deranged analogy in the interest of stirring up fandom drama. I'm very sorry to everyone who has been attacked and everyone who has witnessed all this. Others have posted about the situation as a whole, and I'm not sure what I could add. But I want you to know many of these "confessions" are from one individual who has been fixated on me (and probably others) for weeks if not months. I already had the following in my drafts:

warning: please don't read this if you're sensitive to hate or could be triggered by the trivialization of real abuse. (edit: they went on to trivialize genocide too but they'll pretend to be different people). there's also a really gross anatomical reference.

the screenshots are all after I blocked them.

I normally don't address things like this, but that's because I'm trying to keep it off your dash and off my blog (for several reasons including not wanting to give the hate a larger audience for their message). Normally I block/delete. But thanks to a blog dedicated to posting anon hate, some of this is already on the dash, and I thought some additional context could be illuminating.

a couple weeks ago, this person chimed in on my non-fandom post, and their comment made me uncomfortable. I checked to see if they followed me and they didn't, plus their blog tagline was antagonistic. I was confident they weren't being earnest. I replied, pointing out my issue with their comment and asking them to keep their thoughts to themselves rather than coming at me from a sideblog. I thought they must have followed me from a main account since they somehow found an untagged, unreblogged post without following me. But I now realize they were simply hate checking my blog.

(Blocked the burner too)

They were saying this last bit preemptively - I've never talked about stalkers here. I didn't include all their anons, just enough to show they clearly out themselves as being the same person. In other "confessions," they make repeated references to a former fandom writer they idolize (not me) who they also posted about on their blog.

I won't be dropping this creep's url in this post, but I had never heard of them. This week they have repeatedly changed their url, display name, and blog appearance. Their writing is recognizable and I believe they are responsible for the unhinged asks preceding katy's departure from tumblr. They also made a rude comment on her post.

This may only aggravate them. I expect them to hurl any lies and accusations they can think of toward me. They will act like they're laughing and amused, too. You may recognize their tone. I want to trust this fandom not to believe and repeat anything they hear, but unfortunately my experience in this fandom leaves me pessimistic.

I can only hope people use common sense at this point.

Note - I know I'm normally really private about everything, but you're welcome to share this. Their lies are already out there anyway. Also feel free to DM me and I will tell you what you want to know.

Update: the anon-hate account referred to above has deactivated. It was named pedgeconfessions. It wasn't the first to pop up this summer and may not be the last.

[cat-webp]

etiquette for using & crediting art

right, well, I'll get straight to it instead of messing about like in my other tutorials. editblr has a serious problem with people not crediting artists, we all know that, I don't need to talk much about it. but I figured instead of just making one of those posts, I'd make one explaining the etiquette for such things and how you can appropriately use fanart in your edits. oh, and also what could happen if you refuse to offer those credits

contents table:

stop letting them use your shit to train ai models

why credit is important, and what lack of credit could potentially do to your account

how to source your fanart

how to differentiate fanart from official art

how to find credits for art blatantly stolen and reuploaded to pinterest when all the caption says is "credit to the artist!"

knowing and understanding artist boundaries

how to give appropriate credit

alright, cool, let's talk about it

— stop letting them use your shit to train ai models

if you've been on tumblr for a bit, or have just gone through the general settings, you'll probably have noticed that in the visibility tab there's this not-so-fun setting automatically turned off:

yeah. that's fun, isn't it? since you're using fanart, and most artists don't support nor engage with ai, it's basic respect to opt out of such a thing.

settings -> visibility -> bottom option

— why credit is important, and what lack of credit could potentially do to your account

I feel I shouldn't necessarily have to explain why credit is important, but I will anyway. in the plainest terms, they made it, it's theirs, so credit them. it's a simple concept, no? hm, but I know that doesn't sound important to some people, so imagine if someone stole your edits and reuploaded them onto their own blog, but in the caption all it says is "idk who made this originally, sorry" or "credits to artist".. I bet you'd feel pretty pissed off about it, right? your hard work being stolen by someone you've never heard of, who didn't even bother putting in the effort to search for you.

another thing: credit is still important when they're a figurehead in the community you're editing for. yes, their artstyle may be familiar to you and the others in your fandom, but to an outsider it's just another piece of fanart that remains uncredited.

if you use art that doesn't belong to you, and the original artist finds it and doesn't want you using it, you could face a takedown. of course, most artists are kind and would send you a polite notice first, but there's always that chance they could send over a takedown request to your post and therefore your blog with zero warning. three of those, your blog gets deleted. they're incredibly easy to send off, and afaik tumblr gets to them pretty quickly.

oh, and also people typically don't look favourably on those who can't be bothered to credit artists, so you'll end up losing connections with other editors as well, if you care about that.

— how to source your fanart

stay away from pinterest. I cannot stress this enough, I understand that pinterest is by far one of the easiest platforms to find fantastic art on, but having proper credits is more important than the 5 minutes of time shaved off by stealing a reupload.

twitter, instagram, tumblr, pixiv, and deviantart are all good places to search. though, do make sure to check for ai on deviantart especially, it's like a rat infestation over there.

— how to differentiate fanart from official art

fandom wiki. I know, we all hate fandom wiki, but whether your media is popular or unpopular it's likely to have a fandom wiki dedicated to it, and people will archive all official art there. if you're unsure, cross-examine the potential fanart piece with the archive.

if you hate fandom wiki that badly, there's also archival accounts scattered across different platforms, so you can use those.

if the art is official, then for company-ran medias it's normally okay to just add "all art is official" or leave it uncredited; though that's also somewhat of a dick move. but for smaller things like web-comics and games that aren't hosted on any big site, and have no huge monetary support, it's nice to include the name of the artist and/or creator.

— how to find credits for art blatantly stolen and reuploaded to pinterest when all the caption says is "credit to the artist!"

reverse image search, that's my simplest answer. with chrome at least, it comes with a built-in reverse image searcher called google lens. it's normally highly efficient, so for most art pieces it'll pick up on the artist pretty quickly.

but what if it doesn't? what if it just links back to the original pinterest post instead? well, the weird thing about google lens in particular is that it initially retrieves one post it thinks it could originate from—probably the post with the most traffic going to it, but it then also features a "see exact matches" option underneath that first photo.

if you click it, it'll show you a whole lot more examples of the art being used.

normally, you can use that to figure out who made the art, since it'll show you similarly popular recorded instances. however, there are also times when even that fails to grab a source, and you're left only with confusing results. what do you do then?

well, you can either resort to clicking on random sites until you find a username, or you can give up and find a different piece of art to use. it's really just a process of rinse and repeat until you find something usable.

— knowing and understanding artist boundaries

artist boundaries are typically easy to see and simple to understand. they're normally just in the bios of the artists, which is super helpful. however, sometimes they're kept within links placed on the accounts instead. if you can't immediately see a list of boundaries, then instead start looking for (typically) a link to one of these sites:

carrd

rentry

strawpage

lit.link

skeb (though skeb can sometimes block itself if you have parental controls on, so be aware of this)

scour through them, and you should get an understanding.

right, and for artists who have bios in foreign languages; just translate it, it's not as if google translate or deepl are impossible to use. not knowing the language isn't an excuse anymore.

however, if they still don't have one available, you might have to start searching keywords on their accounts. of course, such things aren't really possible on da or instagram, but on tumblr and twitter, search up these keywords before giving up on an art piece:

credit

pfp / icon / profile picture

use

your art

on tumblr especially, most asks are tagged with something or other, so you can scroll through and check to see if there's anything there too.

and if there's still nothing.. well, just ask the artist about it. if you don't want to do that, then it's not a good idea to use it, and it's back to the drawing board for you.

— how to give appropriate credit

by including "art credit - (username)" in the description, ordinarily. however, you should note that most people who use rentry graphics don't care for art credits, and won't include them if they're using said graphics. so, that's why you put a watermark on it, so it's basically like forcing credit to be given. it doesn't have to be anything big or flashy, but it does need to be readable, so simple fonts work well.

oh, and ideally there should be a direct link back to the art piece, so if people want to use it also they don't have to scroll through someone's entire account trying to find it.

anyway, hope that helped somewhat. if it didn't, then pop into my askbox and I'll explain things further.

[coolfireguy73]

Hello everyone, I'm... back ?

For anyone that may interest, it's me AG. You probably forgot about me.

Hi !

First of all I wanted to apologies. I don't didn't have that huge of a following but for the few people that followed my stuff and liked my AUs, I'm sorry I have essentially disappeared.

I have a few things to say about why I did and I will announce something regarding the Child mercs AU at the end of this.

So if you are not interested in anything else you can skip to "It brings us to today" further down.

For everyone else (not many I assume):

When I discover something new, a new game, a new anime or whatever, I may hyperfixate on it. I'll only talk about it, I'll only draw fanarts of it etc... Like TF2, this was one of my hyperfixation.

I say was because , for some reason, I can only hyperfixate on one fandom at a time. I can have a lot of things I like and care a lot for, but when it comes to the things that dictates my life and art (Like TF2 did) I can only have one.

I don't know why, I've always been like this and I kinda hate it at times.

Anyway, like you may have seen from my last posts, before leaving I fell into the JJBA fandom.

This was (and still is) my new hyperfixation.

I could literally feel it replace TF2 in my mind. And I hated it.

I still love TF2 dearly, but it had been... "replaced" in a way.

I had a lot of unfinished projet I knew a would have a harder time finishing because I had moved on to something else.

I tried to continu the comic twice. And both time the file got deleted.

I lost what little will I had to continue it.

An I'm sad about it. I hate it when I get invested in something that's unfinished. And I said multiple times that I would finish it ! That and the Cryptid AU.

But I never did.

It brings us to today:

I wanted to do this for a while and with the final entry of the TF2 comics finally out I figured now was a good time.

Even though I want to, I don't know when or even IF I'm going to finish drawing the comics.

THAT SAID, though the drawings aren't finished, the story, the description of what would have been on every page is !

It's been since before I started drawing it.

And I thought I could do something with it.

I can publish the last pages of the Child mercs comic in written form. Every drawing described and with the dialogue that should have accompanied it.

You'll essentially have the entire story, just, without the little drawings.

But only if you still care about it. And I know some of you did and even if only one of you want it, I'll do it.

It won't be the version I wanted, with my drawings, but if I never make them, at least you can enjoy the end of the story. And I'd hate to keep that from you forever.

Again I'm sorry for leaving, I figured you wouldn't want to see Jojo Fanart when I hadn't even finished my TF2 projects.

I'm still very grateful for all the nice comments I received, and maybe one day I'll come back with a few TF2 drawings to show you :)

P.S.: I never had a written thing for the Cryptid AU, I kinda want to rewrite it entirely but I'm working on another project. Though it's nearing completion so maybe I'll have time.

I mainly wanted to say, though I didn't have any idea where the story was heading, I did have an idea why they all became cryptids so if you want to hear about it too. Let me know.

Anyway, have a good one everyone.

And thanks for everything :)

-AG

[lit3rally-m1ke-whlr]

guys I accidentally deleted the essay I wrote in my drafts bc I’m an idiot (I’m crying) so I’m just gonna summarize in less words bc whatever I’m not typing several more paragraphs on this. Anyway I just had to say that I feel like there’s an ableism problem in the Stranger Things fandom. Either that or this fandom just doesn’t like when characters show obvious neurodivergent traits. We see this with El being either infantilized or deemed annoying by fans when she’s clearly developmentally impaired and autistic because she struggles with understanding social cues and just wants to be normal and fit in like everyone else. She was raised in a lab, obviously she’s going to be immature and not have a strong handle on her emotional responses to things, and you don’t have to like her but it kinda sucks that she’s being hated for these things when I can relate to her so much. We also see this with Mike, and I feel like the people calling him the worst character are forgetting he’s literally just a teenage boy dealing with trauma. Like it’s as if they were never a teenager before because trust me I was just like Mike at that age if not worse. I’ll admit I used to hate him too but maturing is realizing the reasons people dislike Mike can easily be explained by either internalized homophobia or neurodivergence. He’s a bad friend? It’s because he’s trying so hard to appear straight and struggles to balance his relationships in a healthy manner, and he often speaks before thinking about how what he’s saying comes across to others, which is something many autistics/ people with ADHD do, not because we mean to hurt others but we can often be blunt or brutally honest and come across as rude (or even just lash out when we feel attacked or hurt as a way to defend ourselves but it often comes out harsher than we want it to) in my experience. He’s a bad boyfriend? He’s actually not and even then it’s because he’s gay and not in love with El but just doesn’t want to lose her. Besides he doesn’t have a great model for what a loving relationship looks like because of his parents so he may not be able to differentiate between romantic and platonic love and stays in a relationship that he’s clearly not happy in because of societal pressure to appear straight and it would be suspicious (in his mind) if they broke up because a) El literally is the coolest girl on the planet, how could he not love her and b) he loses his cover and people might start to notice and question his lack of attraction to girls. But not only that, he clearly struggles with describing and expressing his emotions or recognizing those of others (aka alexythemia) which is common in autistic people. So if he didn’t notice El’s obvious discomfort at the skating rink that’s probably why, and it’s also why he couldn’t tell her he loved her (bc it was a lie but I digress).

But perhaps the best example and the reason I decided to make this rant post is Robin’s character in s4. I remember seeing so many people saying that once the writers decided to make her lesbian they realized they didn’t know what to do with her character, some even going as far as to say they made her ditzy and stripped her of her coolness, which basically proves my point about y’all (as in the fandom in general) not liking ND people because god forbid we unmask around you, it’s no wonder so many of us feel afraid to be our true selves in front of other people. It’s almost as if she was hiding behind a persona to seem more normal and not draw unwanted attention to herself because she’s a lesbian, and once she came out to Steve and was accepted she… didn’t have to do that anymore? She felt more comfortable and safe around him to show her true personality? I don’t know but there’s something off about the way people are acting like she’s suddenly dumb or just there for comedic effect in s4 when she’s literally been so useful like she’s the one who realized music could save victims from being possessed by vecna. She’s literally the same except now she’s out to someone and she gets nervous when it comes to girls she likes, big fucking deal. Not only is this mischaracterization ludicrous and flat out wrong but it’s quite upsetting to see as someone who can relate to Robin in season 4 and is also autistic. Yes, not everyone with autism is like that but some are and to say she’s no longer cool because of it just enforces the perception of autistics as weird and unlikeable just for simply being themselves and makes us feel like we can only be liked or taken seriously if we keep the mask on.

look at me I said I would keep it brief this time but I still ended up writing an entire wall of text on this anyway lol thanks for coming to my Ted talk ig

[pavlovianfuckery]

lets be mean to dream

A/N: Re-uploading all my fics after having a slight mental breakdown and deleting everything so this is kind of old, but bone apple tea and all that anyway

AO3

The Master-masterlist

Fandom Masterlist

Summary: If you've ever wanted to smack Dream around a little this is for you I guess

Pairing: Dream/F!Reader

Notes: handjob, some light slapping, no use of y/n

Length: 2100~ words

It's hard to pinpoint the exact moment where things had changed, but somewhere along the way what had started as an uneasy sense of companionship had grown into something more. It still felt surreal, especially when he would be totally absorbed in his work for days or weeks at a time. He would always come back to you eventually though, and if his shoulders seemed a fraction heavier you'd be there, to give whatever he needed. Neither of you had said it out loud but when you were alone, every small and private surrender spoke louder than words ever could.

Not that words are on your mind right now, because he's kissing you, nestled in a secluded corner of the library, the surrounding shelves hiding you from view. There is a quiet desperation to it, the way he presses in close, as if getting close enough would let you somehow absorb what's on his mind. Despite holding the collective unconscious of every living being, he is remarkably bad at outright telling you what he needs. It's equal parts sweet and frustrating, because he isn't shy, not precisely. Going outside of his function and asking for something solely for himself still doesn't come easy, but if there's one thing you've learnt from your time together it's to be patient with him.

"Will you slow down a bit?" You hold him gently back, giving yourself time to catch your breath. It's a gradual thing, but finally he simply rests his forehead on yours, eyes closed, his unneeded breath ghosting across your cheek. This is another thing you've noticed, the way he deliberately seems to make himself more human when he wants something from you. For a moment neither of you speaks, then you sigh and bump his nose with yours. "I can tell there's something. Talk to me?"

"There is something. I want..." he trails off, hesitating for a split second. The word 'want' sounds almost foreign in his mouth, as if it doesn't belong there. Wetting his lips he continues, still not looking at you, "I want you to hurt me."

"I can probably do that, if you elaborate a bit."

While things in that area aren't new to you, he's never asked for anything like that before. The thought doesn't lack appeal though, your mind almost instantly goes to bruises, marking his flawless skin. It's not much of a surprise when he frowns.

"How so? It should be fairly obvious what I am asking for."

You do your best to not roll your eyes at him. This isn't the first time he's been impatient and vague, so it's perhaps not entirely successful.

"To you, maybe. But I'm going to need a bit more detail than that. You want me to hit you? Or, I don't know, call you names?"

"Yes." He doesn't offer any more specifics, but at least it's a start.

"To both?" That gets you a nod, but not much more.

At least you know that he's not being coy or trying to be an ass, it's just...how he is.

"Fair enough. But let's keep it light for now. I'm not going to punch you in the face or get a cane out, especially not here." It's not clear if he had been considering either of those things as options, but better safe than sorry. "You good with that?"

"That is agreeable enough, for now."

"Great. So..." you peck his cheek before slowly kissing your way down the side of his neck, lips barely brushing his skin. "Do you remember that time on the stairs?"

"How could I forget?" He shivers almost imperceptibly at your touch, his lips twitching into a small smile.

"Then you remember what we agreed back then?"

He sighs, leaning back against the shelves.

"Nightmare." When he speaks, his adam's apple bobs and you have to fight the urge to chase it with your mouth.

"Good." You kiss him again, deep and slow. And then you slap him.

It's barely a love-tap, one on each cheek, just to test how he responds. It's only a small hitch of breath, eyes fluttering closed for a second, and he doesn't stop you. If anything he leans into your touch, daring you.

"Again."

At the next few strikes his cheeks gain just a hint of colour, and you can't help but wonder what the rest of his skin would look like, flushed and pretty, all for you. The next blow ends up a bit harder than you intended, catching his mouth. You half expect him to stop you this time, but instead his eyes gain a glazed-over quality as he spreads his legs slightly. You do it again a few times on each side, letting yourself be a bit rougher until his lips are puffy and red, his teeth faintly stained with pink.

"You alright?" You know that you couldn't hurt him any more than he'd let you, but it's hard keeping a tiny sliver of worry out of your voice.

"Perfectly," he grabs your waist and presses himself against your hip, letting you feel him. Even through those tight jeans he insists on wearing, you can tell that he's hard. "Unless you deem this a cause for concern?"

The cheeky attitude probably warrants another slap but instead you slide your leg in between his, guiding his hips with your hands.

"Go on, then."

He only hesitates for a moment before grinding down on your thigh. It's entirely undignified, the way the height difference forces him to slouch down, knees bent in order to get more friction. As he ruts against you until he's slightly out of breath it's easy to forget that he isn't human. When you finally take pity on him and kiss him, his lips are almost fever-warm against yours and the faint taste of iron lingers on your tongue. You run your fingers over the growing damp spot on his jeans.

"If you want something more you're going to have to ask." You give him one last slap. "Unless you'd rather stop now?"

"No." He's not quite squirming, but he's still trying to rub against you. "Touch me."

Knowing what he means doesn't mean that you can't tease him, just a little. Instead of giving him what he wants you slide your hand under his shirt, to the smooth plane of his chest. You can feel his heartbeat against your palm, as if nothing but his skin is keeping you from closing your fist around it.

"But I already am?" Trying to keep your expression innocent, you lightly ghost your fingers across one of his nipples, back and forth. When he lets himself feel he's always so responsive and this is no exception, the little nub stiffening readily as he shivers under your touch. Figuring that now's as good a time as any to experiment a bit, you do the same to the other side but this time you drag a nail lightly across it as well. That earns you a low moan and a twitch of his hips.

"You know what I meant." There is no real annoyance in his voice though, so you let yourself play with him just a few moments longer. It's almost hard to stop, especially when it's so clear that he's enjoying this. When you give him a pinch he lets out a small gasp, brows knitting together. "Touch me."

You take your time undoing his zipper, the sound of the teeth parting loud in the quiet of the library. Finally, his erection springs free, throbbing in time with his heartbeat in the cool air.

"Poor Dream," you trail a finger over him, all the way from root to flushed tip, "that looks uncomfortable. Would you like me to help you?" Not waiting for an answer, you tap his mouth with your finger. "Open."

This time there is no hesitation, his lips parting eagerly to let your finger inside. When you add a second one, he accepts that just as well, letting you trace the edges of his teeth and the soft slickness of his tongue. You sigh to yourself, pinching his nipple again, making him pant around your fingers.

"You look lovely like this, you know. One more." Not wanting to push him too much, you settle on three fingers, gathering as much of his saliva as you can before pulling them from his mouth with a wet little 'pop'.

When you finally wrap your slicked-up fingers around his length he lets out a long shuddering breath. He's nice and thick in your hand, skin soft against your palm as you stroke him slowly from root to tip. Swiping your thumb over the slit causes his hips to buck, and when you tighten the grip so the dripping head pops through the ring of your fingers the noise he makes is a wavering broken thing.

"The mighty King of Dreams," you tease, "all it takes to turn you into a useless mess is someone getting their hands around your cock."

For a moment he almost looks annoyed, but when you twist your fingers around him, his mouth goes slack and all that comes out is a breathy moan, eyes falling shut. As you keep working his cock, the rest of his composure crumbles until he's like putty in your hands, desperate little sounds falling freely from his pretty mouth.

"Somebody could walk in at any moment, you know." Your eyes flick between your hand and his face. "What would your subjects say if they saw you like this, leaking like a sieve for me?"

Every time he gets close, you dial the touch back until it's feather-light, denying him release until he's trembling against the shelves, the steady dribble of precome forming a small puddle on the floor. As his cock starts to swell again you squeeze the base, holding him off one more time. He makes a frustrated noise and ruts uselessly against your hand, body tense like a bowstring. Cradling the back of his head you thread your fingers through his hair, pulling his head back.

"You really need to come, don't you?" Kissing your way down his exposed neck, you can't help but smile at how easily he falls apart for you when he gives in and lets it happen. "Do you think you deserve it, though? Because I'm not sure."

"You would leave me wanting?" He really must be getting painfully close, his voice barely more than a rasp, "I have never known you to be cruel."

"Ask nicely and I might let you." You circle the tip of his cock with the pad of your thumb, torturously slowly, careful not to end it just yet.

"Please?" His voice is breathless but still too firm for your liking and you tut disapprovingly, squeezing around his shaft, teasing.

"Please, what?"

"Please, let me come." This time he sounds almost desperate, and you figure that's good enough for now.

"Come for me then," you grab his chin, forcing him to look at you,"but eyes on me."

Rather than finishing him off quickly, you keep your pace slow and steady, patiently working him until he's right on that razor edge. His eyes are unfocused and so dark that they're nearly black but he does as he's told, letting you see every small change in expression as he gets close. He has either forgotten exactly where you are or simply stopped caring because when he finally comes, he is loud. Despite your earlier quip, you weren't keen on anybody actually walking in on you, though. Slapping your free hand over his mouth, you do your best to quiet his moans as he spills all over the marble floor.

"Shhh, love..." You hush him as you stroke him through it, dragging his release out until he sags against your shoulder, utterly spent.

When he gathers himself enough to lean back against the shelves, there is nothing regal about him, all wild hair and rumpled clothes, cheeks and mouth high with colour. It suits him though, the satedness in his eyes and almost relaxed set to his shoulders.

"Still good?" You kiss his cheek and gently tuck him back into his jeans, taking extra care with the zipper.

"You." He pulls you to him and buries his face in the crook of your neck. With a deep sigh, he continues, "You...indulge me, more than anyone I have ever known."

"No more than you do for me." You stroke his hair, but rather than smooth it down, it just seems to make things worse. It doesn't deter you though. When he presses a quick kiss to the side of your neck your heart just feels full, of him and the words that, while unsaid, hang almost palpable in the air between you. With his voice muffled against your skin, you can't really hear what he says next, despite straining your ears. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I said, next time you need not be so gentle with me."

Next time? You can hardly wait.

⁂

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[imbeingchokeholded]

Getting Clean

I need to be put into jail, stupid Scottish bitch.

Anyway this is probably lowkey just gonna be smut completely lmao.

I promise the soap pun titles will end.

Also so sorry this took so long because my mind is an enigma and writing for either the COD fandom or the RDR2 fandom has been deleted out of my mind.

Lets go lmao

WARNINGS!: female reader because im a woman and soap makes me yell real loud (nothing against him being shipped with male readers or 141, good for him what a king), NSFW, fuckin, im so bad at warnings just know its gonna be fuckin happenin, choking?? Voice kink???? Breeding kink for SURE. Just major NSFW basically porn with negative plot. Like... .5 plot.

Scottish slang/words may be inccorect due to using google, so please lemme know if its wrong, I'll happily fix it.

I am so sorry for spelling mistakes i finished this at like 2am

The mess hall seemed way too empty, everyone was out on missions, covert, recon, whatever, and while there was a shit ton of others there on base, without most of the 141 team it just felt....wrong.

You sigh and look at your food. It's not that it's bad food. In fact, it looks delicious, but sitting alone, at this massive table that usually you shared with Ghost, Gaz, Rudy and Alejandro, as well as Soap, just made you feel...down.

They were easily the people you were closest too on base. Working so closely with them it was only a matter of time before it happened. All of you were close friends, it was rare for any of you to stray from the group and talk to anyone else.

So today, sitting in the mess hall, was no different.

You stare at the food a little longer, and poke it around with your fork, that strange foreign feeling in your chest.

"Aye Lass, lookin' at it like tha' cannaé change how it tastes."

You smile and twist your head to look at Soap as he nears the table, a tray of food of his own in his hands.

"Johnny! I didn't know you were here!" You smile wider as he takes a seat next to you, and chuckle as he takes a bite of food from his tray.

"Ah, I jus' got back from a mission not too long ago, Price is givin' me a wei break."

You nod and smile at him, your heart seems a little lighter now, someone who you're far closer to now with you.

Plus it was Johnny, how could you not be happy around him? He was the obnoxious fun loving one of the group, he could be serious yes, but it was rare. Most days he joked, laughed, spat out witty sarcastic comments at everyone who passed.

You supposed that was part of the reason you'd grown to have such deep feelings for him in the first place.

Of course you'd never tell him that, you were far too nervous to do that.

Handsome, sweet, a deep voice, which had a Scottish accent on top of it? You could listen to him speak about nonsense for the entire day.

Sometimes missions with him were absolute hell.

He did his job, he was a good Sargent, he knew what he was doing, trained properly, getting things done the way they needed to, but his commentary....

That damn voice of his, he didn't even need to be next to you, all he needed was that voice and his stupid little sarcastic quips.

Hell, sometimes it wasn't even in comms.

He'd yell out something simple, that shouldn't have been attractive, yet it was.

Something as simple as "Changing mags!" Could make your face heat up and turn a violent red, hell, he basically growled at the end of the sentence whenever he said it. Being near him was almost like having a bomb strapped to your chest. Threatening to go off at any second.

Everytime he said "Steamin' Jesus" you couldn't help but imagine him using it in a far more intimate senario, with a slight change of tone, and that never failed to send a flood of warmth between your legs.

You swore that he knew what he was doing too, like he could sense the tension between the two of you, or see the red on your face, but if he did he never brought it up, and for that you were thankful.

Trying to explain fraternization to Price would not be a fun experience. Not only that but bringing it up would probably make you flustered beyond speaking ablity.

"Hey, Y/N. I been talkin' yer fuckin' ear off, you still listenin'?"

You shake your head and look at him, your face feels hot and you're sure you're crimson.

"Ye alright Lass?"

That stupid nickname makes the blush worsen and you simply clear your throat.

"I'm fine Soap. Thinking."

"You can call me Johnny off duty." He laughs. "You usually do....ya nervous about something? Just a wei bit?"

His voice carries a bit of teasing tone and you can't help but feel a bit if irritation at the smug bastard.

"Not nervous, no."

"Ah, not nervous, yet red in the face....Aye...I got yer number bonnie."

He snorts and then continues to eat.

"Really?" You cross your arms and look at him. "Do you now MacTavish?"

"Pretty obvious if you ask me." He shrugs.

"Okay, so tell me then."

Your face burns at the sudden burst of confidence, and as a smirk crosses over Johnny's face you suddenly feel very foolish about what you've just said.

"Lass...tha's not very appropriate for me to say here, where anyone could hear....now is it?"

That smirk stays on his face as he lowers his voice to a low whisper as he gets the last few words out.

You swallow, and your face burns deeper.

"I don't know what you mean Johnny."

"I'm sure." He offers you a laugh and then stands, the look in his eyes makes your body shiver. "I think I'll head to my room...feel free to...visit, if you'd like."

You watch as he walks off as though nothing had happened and your entire body seems to shiver.

He sticks his hands in his jean pockets as he walks away, which you obviously noticed, because of course you did, with an ass like his.

What the hell are you gonna do? Follow him? How the hell did he figure you out so quickly? Did he mean what he said?

Little did you know Johnny was thinking similarly.

"What the hell were you thinkin'? Saying somethin' like that? Y/N does NOT feel that way about you, you probably just fucked somethin' up, fuckin' idiot."

It takes you only a matter of minutes before you stand from the table and head after Johnny, towards his room in the base.

Your heart is thumping so loudly its the only thing you can hear.

Your body seems to be reacting on its own though, your thoughts, while dirty and definetly in need of some....cleaning....ironically, are wondering what'll happen to your friendship afterwards, but your body doesn't seem to care.

Your mind races with the thought of what would happen if you were caught too, it wasn't exactly professional to fuck your coworker in the military.

When you reach his door you breathe deeply, hesitant as you raise your hand to the door. You stopped for a moment and then, you knock on the door.

Johnny opens the door nearly instantly, only a matter of seconds pass before the door knob clicks and he stands in the doorway before you, leaning against the doorframe as he looks down at you.

"Tha' was quick Lass."

"Shut up, let me in."

"Aw...c'mon now...be nice..." He lowers his voice, whispering the last two words, a smug smirk coming over his mouth.

You feel a rush of heat through your chest and look to your feet, your entire face seems to burn, your ears even feel as though they're burning.

"Please Johnny?"

You feel his hand come under your chin and he lifts your head to look him in the eye, not gently but not rough either.

"Try again Lass, look me in the eye."

Fuck fuck fuck fuck

"Please let me in, you stupid Scottish fuck."

"Tha's not very nice...thought I said be nice..."

You clench your jaw and stare at him, that smug grin on his face somehow managing to irritate you and make you horny all at the same time.

"Please Johnny? Let me in?"

"Ye really do want me, don't ye? Dinnaé know you felt so strongly towards me.." He smirks at you and the moves aside, dropping his hand from your chin to let you in.

You look around his room, staring at all the posters and things he has lined up on the walls. Considering this was Johnny's room....you expected it to be far dirtier, less organized, yet as you looked around at the rest of his room you noticed everything had a place, everything was neat, he didn't even have dirty clothes on the floor.

Neat and organized....despite his very chaotic and uncooridinated nature.

You're busy looking this over, viewing his room when he comes up behind you.

He leans in close.

"So, you were havin' thoughts then?" He smirks, you can feel it without even looking at him. "You? Havin' thoughts...innocent little Y/N always focused on the job Y/N....havin' thoughts like those....and about me..."

His voice lowers, it's nearly a growl, and a hand wraps around your waist, his fingers slide gently under the bottom of your shirt, touching the bare skin of your stomach, only just barely.

"Naughty...naughty..."

You look down, your face is completely red, scarlet, and it burns hotter than you thought possible.

By looking down you didn't really account for the fact that, that would only leave your neck open, and it takes all your will power you have not to make a sound when you feel Johnny's lips agains the skin there.

"I'm suprised it took you this long to notice Johnny." You breathe out, hoping your voice wouldn't give out on you.

He stops, his lips still gently placed against your skin as he speaks.

"Really now....been very noticable has it Hen?"

The nickname sends a shiver though your spine, though you know the word itself isn't the issue.

"I think so..." You breathe. "Can't you tell when my voice changes over comms sometimes?"

"Ye get that flustered...over comms? Ye don't even see me.."

He chuckles and presses another kiss to your neck, you're sure the next one he offers will be brusing.

"Not my fault..." You mumble. You've almost collapsed against him, leaning your body weight onto him, though he doesn't mind in the slightest.

"Really now...now...can ye explain to me what it is on comms that makes things so hard to focus then Hen?"

"Why must you make things difficult?"

"Difficult?"

He laughs at you and then stands up straight, his hand leaving the skin of your stomach.

He moves to his bed and takes a seat, nearly plopping down, he sits with his legs open and slaps both hands on his thighs, leaning forwards.

"It isn't difficult, it's a really easy question now Lass."

You cross your arms and look at him, watching as he leans back a little a simple smirk on his face.

"If ye really want somethin' tonight Y/N, yer gonnae have to tell me."

That smug look doesn't leave his face, rather it seems like it only gets worse as he utters out your name, emphasising it, lowering his voice as he does. To add to this you watch as his hands leave his thighs, palms upwards in a sort of shrug gesture.

He knows what gets you flustered over comms. He knows, you know he knows, but you also know he's gonna make you say it.

"You damn well know what it is Johnny."

"Oh I do, but it'll be much better when it comes out of yer mouth, preferrably with your face all red."

You swallow and look to the floor, keeping your arms crossed as you speak.

"I swear sometimes you do it on purpose. You do those damn jokes, say those fucking statements and you always lower your voice, especially if you know I'm listening. I told you how I liked your accent ONCE and now you use it everytime you can."

"Aye, I do." Again, as before, you can hear that smirk on his face. "I'll admit it. I take every chance I can."

You scrunch up your nose, refusing to look up at him.

Theres silence for a moment and then you hear him shuffle, only then do you look up.

He simply catches your gaze and makes a motion towards himself with his two middle fingers, pretty much beckoning you towards him.

Despite the stubborness you've shown earlier you can't help but follow his silent command.

As you reach him and stand inbetween his legs his hands creep over your thighs, fingers curling around the back of them, squeezing the meat of them, tightly, firmly. Just the right amount of pressure.

He looks up at you, his face a little more serious now, the smirk from earlier still lingers, but it's far less noticable.

"Ye know Y/N, I've thought about having you in here....a lot."

"Really?" You stop a moment, your body tingling, stemming from his fingertips outwards. Your mind seems a little fogged. "I thought....I thought maybe you'd invited me in here today just to...well honestly I thought you were just fucking with me Johnny, but...I couldn't just ignore it."

"Nae, no fuckin'with you, no this time."

"So...does...um...does that mean..." You swallow, struggling with your words. "Look....Johnny I think it's obvious I've liked you for a while now...are...if we're really gonna do this...I...what does it mean? Anything? Just...are we fuck buddies, or something more because...."

Your words trail off, you can't help but cross your arms, a sudden burst of what you can only assume is nearly shame creeps up through you.

Johhny's face changes, subtly, but you catch it, and you don't miss the squeeze he gives your thighs either.

"Hen, once I get a taste of you I don't think I could have anyone else."

He's quick with his movements as he slides his hands up towards your ass, and pushes you slightly closer to himself.

The action he does next is a simple one, yet it sends all kinds of feelings through you.

His tongue touches the skin of your stomach, his hand gently pushing your shirt up out of the way. He licks a stripe upwards, keeping eye contact with you as he does.

"Jesus Johnny...."

He offers a chuckle and grips your hip with his free hand just a little tighter.

"I'm gonna ask this once Bonníe," he looks at you, only a small trace of a smile on his lips. "Are ye sure ye wanna do this? I'll stop if ye say stop, but after this I won't ask again."

Your thoughts swirl in your head for a moment. Wondering if it is what you wanted. If it was worth chancing your friendship, chancing your job, getting caught fraternizing is no small penalty.

In the end your body decides for you.

You nod.

"I do."

That smile of his fits on his face slowly, showing off those pearly whites. His surprisingly sharp canines.

His tongue comes out once more, again licking up your stomach, this time he stands as he moves himself upwards, only bringing his mouth away when he reaches the area just below your breasts, letting your shirt fall back to its original place.

When he finally stands his mouth goes into good use, his lips meeting yours with a feverancy, practically a need. He fists your hair, and darts his tongue into your mouth without any hesitance.

His free hand snakes around your body, finding purchase on the plump of your asscheek.

You let out a moan against his lips which in turn pulls one from him.

Your hands wrap around the back of his neck, grabbing onto any part of him you can.

His hand nestled within your hair offers a tug, pulling your head back, taking your lips from his and exposing your neck to him.

His lips latch onto your throat, open mouthed hot kisses against your skin, making your body shiver, tingle. His tongue licks along your skin, warm, and again...hungry.

"Johnny..." You whine out his name, and your body flames up, a part of you is curious as to how he'd gotten you so needy so quickly.

The other part did not give a shit.

"So pretty when you whine like that Bonníe..."

He smiles against your skin, moving towards your jaw, still dragging his lips along your neck, refusing to leave it.

"Maybe we should see if I can get any more out of ye..."

"Johnny...we have to be careful..." You mumble. "We...we can't be caught-"

"Yer right Lass...that might even be more fun..."

He pulls back to look at you, his eyes seemed to darken with the idea that begins to plauge his mind.

"Let's see if ye can keep from screamin' huh?"

"Johnny-"

He cuts you off as his hand come up around your throat, offering a gentle squeeze to the sides as he begins to push you down to the bed.

"Do yer best for me Love." He gives you that goddamn smirk again. "Stay quiet...Can ye do that?"

You nod, your breathing becoming heavier as he stares down at you, hand still wrapped around your throat.

"Atta girl."

He coos out the words and everything in your body seems to be completely englufed in flame.

"You this charming to every girl you fuck Johnny?"

You breathe out the words, hands moving to his chest as you settle against the mattress.

"Jus' you Lass."

Rough hands slide under your shirt, over your stomach, bringing the shirt along with him.

His thumb glides up the center of your torso, pushing down slightly as he continues his movement, his other hand only leaves your throat when he needs to remove the shirt fully.

Your bra is taken off with seemingly expert practice, your breasts exposed to the air, but quickly they're found by hands and mouth.

A rough palm on one and a wet mouth sucking and licking the other.

It takes all your power not to moan, your back arching up into the feeling.

You hadn't been aware of just how touch starved you'd been.

One of your hands tangles into his mohawk, attempting to hold onto something of him.

He looks up at you, pulling away from your breasts.

"Nae, I dinnae say ye could touch lass."

"Johnny-"

"Shut tha' pretty mouth lass...see if ye can be quiet yeah?"

You nod, swallowing as he reaches for your pants. His fingers hooking under the waistband as he unbuttons them with the other.

With one swift movement he's pulled both your jeans and panties down, leaving you bare to him.

"Would ye look at tha'...such a bonnie sigh', Love..."

He smirks and moves in, hands finding your inner thighs, bringing a sigh from your lips.

Before you can say much else you feel a swipe of his tongue over your heat, already you were slick, this was certain to make the problem worse.

His grip on your inner thighs gets a little tighter as he continues with you, he moves his tongue with expertise, eating you out as though he's a man starved.

"Johnny..."

You can't help but let his name slip out, grabbing the sheets beneath you, squirming your hips against his face.

He looks up at you from his position, and even in his eyes you can see the smirk he'd wear.

It's far too soon that he pulls away, you'd been so close to your climax, so close to having that release, until he'd denied you that.

Again you whine his name, and he moves, climbing over you, grabbing your face with one hand, firmly holding your cheeks.

"Aw lass...wei bonnie...are ye feelin' a wei bit needy?"

You nod, the best you can in his grip, moving your hips against his clothed arousal, hoping for even a little bit of friction.

You give a nother small whine, this one more of a sound than that of a noise, again reaching for him, only for his other hand to pin your wrists above you.

"Ah...I told ye, nae touchin' lass"

You simply look at him, unable to do much in your senario. It's then that he kisses you, deeply, his tongue gliding against yours, the taste of your own slick in your mouth.

He lets go of your face, only to rushedly un button his pants, his problem suddenly a bit more annoying than it had been.

The moment he's free, his pants and boxers disgarded he simply looks down at you, seemingly thinking.

Its then that he grabs you by the hips and easily, effortlessly, flips you onto your stomach, running his pointer finger and thumb down your spine for a moment.

"Ye look so good from this angle love..."

He leans over you, his chest to your back, head angled right next to your ear.

He lowers that damn voice of his again.

"Can ye be a good lass fer me and arch jus' a wei bit... chest down love, ass up."

Of course you do as he asks, or rather tells, like its instinct, pressing your chest further into the bed, raising your rear higher into the air.

He leans back, taking a look at the sight in front of him, his hands going to the flesh of your ass like magnets, squeezing gently, your ass and hips, as though he can't decide which he likes better.

"Look at ye...such an obediant little lass...ye like doin' what yer told do ye? Is tha' why ye like rankin' under me? Enjoy the way I order ye around on the field? Makes ye think..."

You don't answer, focused on the feel of his hands, its only when he moves one of those hands to the back of your neck.

"I need an answer lass."

"Yes, yes I do Sir."

You can nearly feel the smirk on his face, he squeezes the back of your neck a little tighter.

"Sir?"

"Yes sir."

"Oho...I like tha' lass..."

He grabs both of your asscheeks again for a moment before you feel one leave only to feel him push into you.

You let out a groan as he pushes in, as much as you can take, to the base, you feel incredibly full. He's girthy.

"Fuck Johnny..."

You murmer.

"Nae...yer gonna call me sir from now on Love..."

You swallow, waiting for him to move.

"Do ye understand me?"

"Yes Sir."

"Good lass."

He gices you this praise and gently he moves his hips, his hand pushing your spine back into that arch you'd subtly moved away from.

His hips move slow, almost painfully so, and he knows this, teasing you with his hands gliding over your back.

"Ye look so good lass...all this jus' fer me..."

"Johnny please...."

"Aw lass...what did I jus' say?"

"Please...sir?"

"Tha's better....use yer words bonnie...what is it ye want?"

"Faster sir, please?"

You hear the small beg in your voice, sure that by the end of all this you'd be begging a lot more.

"Tha's a girl."

His hand moves to your hip, gripping hard as the other moves to your hair, grasping the roots of it, giving a tug as he moves his hips a little faster, filling you with his size, over and over again.

It's only a minute or so before he seems to loose that idea of torturing you, his pace picking up, hips snapping against yours, that slap of skin on skin, the squelch of your arousal ringing in your ears.

"Fuckkk y/n...." It comes out in nearly a growl, and he pushes your upper half further into the bed.

"Yer doin' so good bonnie...so fuckin' good..."

Another maon crawls its way out of your throat, the others you'd managed to quell, small sounds here and there, but you can't stop this one.

You push your hips against his, letting your knees spread further apart trying to get him in at a deeper angle.

"Please sir, please, fuck-"

The words tumble out of your mouth before you can register what you're even trying to beg for, your figers clench at his sheets beneath you, they smell like him, everything smells like him.

"Y/N..."

His voice is a groan, it's all you hear as he shifts your position, yanking you up by your hair, bringing your back to his chest, thrusting himself upwards into you.

"Johnny...fuck!"

You find your arm going over your shoulder, wraping around the back of his neck, trying to find purchase on something

His lips latch onto your neck as though he's drawn to it, his tongue swiping over your skin and his teeth leaving bites along your throat and shoulders. He breaths hard against you, inhaling your scent.

"Steamin' bloody Jesus..."

He groans, his pace picking up a little further, one hand still brusingly on your hip, the other slides down your front, fingers finding your clit easily.

It brings a moan to the surface of your lips, and rather than being scolded Johnny simply murmers another praise of 'good lass' in your ear, his hips snapping against yours, rythmic.

"Johnny-"

"Y/N..." He huffs, his fingers going faster against your bud. "'M close...need ye to tell me where..."

"Inside Johnny, please...fill me up..."

"Jesus Y/N..."

His voice is breathy, heavy against your skin as he continues, his hips getting erratic, until finally he gives a groan, shoving his face into your shoulder, riding out his climax, the feeling of his cum hitting your inner walls pushing you closer to yours.

He rides out his, moving his hips slightly, much slower than before, and keeps his hand going, trying to keep his previous pace.

"C'mon lass...ye can let go now...it's yer turn..."

He mumbles, breatheless.

It's not much longer of this praising and the movement of his fingers before you do just that, squeezing around him and moaning out his name as you finally reach that high.

As the two of you come down, breathing hard, Johnny still inside you, head leaning against your shoulder, he slips an arm around your waist and offers a gentle kiss to your shoulder.

"Thank ye lass..." he murmers. "Tha' was fun."

"Thank you Johnny."

"Ye ain't gotta thank me...I've wanted to do tha' for god knows how long."

"Maybe we can do it again sometime."

"Oh trust me lass...we will be."

[ecto-hazard]

I just rewatched ii s1 (fucked up right?)

im just gonna make a post compiling some barebones concepts that im curious about. cause with the latest reveal, im wondering how much previous stuff might become relevant.

Obviously this was made years ago by a bunch of kids so its possible that most of the details can be disregarded as random bullshit. It does seem like they put a lot of work in creating retcons though so I have reason to believe theyre building off their previous work on purpose but i could be wrong and thats fair. im gonna post about it anyway tho

ii16 spoilers discussed under the cut

Who Mephone created (or rather, didn't create)

Mephone supposedly made every contestant for the show, but there's a couple vague characters.

Fan: weirdly enough he's in a gray area cause he appears as a background character before s2, but he also glitched out in that one episode, so its unlikely he wasnt created by Mephone. But yknow.

Apple: Apple is a fan character who was submitted to the show, and this is addressed in canon. It's possible that mephone made her and the other fan contestants based on whatever the submitters asked?

Bow: she randomly shows up after an ad read. Mephone doesnt seem to even want her to join, but he receives a call from Adam to insist she join. Mephone seems quite resistant to the idea (which would be weird if he made her?) Most interestingly, she's the only one in this list that Mephone couldn't recover.

Dough MIGHT be one mephone didnt create, but it seems pretty likely that Mephone would create him as he was specifically requested by adam to get bow back. Dough does seem like something he'd throw together really quickly to cover his ass

The reason any of this could be relevant is that if they arent created by Mephone, they probably cant be deleted by Cobs.

Adam

Stuff about Adam (the character not the guy) has been kinda quiet lately? He was supposedly the producer of ii, and pays mephone apparently? He clearly has a role to play since he showed up in one of Mephone's memories and seems to be a creation by cobs. So observing his actions in s1 might be valuable, especially since cobs would be able to manipulate the show through him.

Some notable actions of his:

Insisting on Bow being in the show. This is doubly interesting if Bow isn't one of Mephone's creations. She could be an industry plant of some kind?

Telling Mephone to keep 4S out of the season finale. This is supposedly to keep the finale from going crazy. If Mephone had been successful, he wouldve been killed by Mephone 5. Its possible this was on purpose so 4 could be destroyed and replaced

Investing in another season. at the end of s2, despite things going wrong, he tells Mephone they're going to do another season. He sweetens the deal by offering a raise and agreeing to get Mephone an assistant (Toilet). Cobs clearly got invested in this show, so it makes sense he'd encourage more of it from the shadows.

Mephone 4S

Yeah talking about 4S isn't anything new, the fandom's obsessed with him. I am too.

The implications of Mephone4 being in 4S's body never really got explored in s2. I guess they were similar enough that it didn't really matter. But he clearly still has some relevance in the modern series. One of Mephone's memories shows him getting developed as a replacement for 4, and he actually appears in Invitational, Sorta? Clearly Mephone's bothered by the sacrifice he made.

At the very least, the show's reminding us that he existed, so maybe he still does exist? I don't think he's going to necessarily make a comeback or anything but I dunno. It seems like he might be able to talk to Mephone in his head so maybe there's something to that.

Evil Paper

Im just gonna be upfront that I don't have a dissociative disorder and its not my place to talk about how it works or what is good or bad representation so I'm not gonna get super deep into talking about this. I'm just curious if the team has any plans for addressing Evil Paper. They seemed to make an effort into writing Yin Yang more thoughtfully (whether or not they actually succeeded, again, not my say). I could see them giving Paper similar treatment. If they did I doubt it'd be very plot relevant though.

Is the Taco we got the Taco we were supposed to have?

I've actually seen this conversation circulate a little bit already. This sort of debate could apply to any character really, but Taco is perhaps the most interesting example because she's so involved in the latest episodes AND because Brian actually addressed a tweet about this.

Taco behaves like a goofy idiot for the majority of s1, only revealing at the end that she was faking it so she would make it to the end. She specifically says she was "built to win" (the quote Brian addresses), and shows a much more competent side when she actually competes. In fact if it weren't for Bow's interference, Taco would have won the challenge (another case of Bow being weird).

This all seems to imply that Taco may have been intended to win the series by Mephone. Cobs points out to Suitcase and Knife that Mephone had "high hopes" for them, so it's not unreasonable to say that maybe certain characters were liked over others. Mephone never seems to give special treatment openly, but that doesn't mean that when he made certain contestants he didn't at the very least expect them to do well.

What is highly unlikely though is that Taco was created to be a twist villain. This results in Mephone's death after all (though the activity of Bow and Mephone 5 also could be to blame). Especially since he had pressure from Adam to keep things running smoothly, it just wouldn't make sense that Mephone would specifically create someone to toss a wrench in things. Most likely Taco developed like this on her own accord.

But that also raises the question, if she wasn't meant to be a villain, what was she supposed to be? How much of the taco we have now is the Taco that Mephone created? We don't actually see how he reacts to her "reveal" because he's in the middle of running away from 5. But everyone else clearly never saw it coming. OJ specifically comments that this doesn't seem like "the Taco he's been competing with all this time," and while that's written in reference to her reveal, it also could mean she WASNT the Taco he'd been competing with. We do get a hint or two of her true self in previous episodes, but its possible she wasn't ever supposed to be like that.

I think its possible Mephone4 created her as a goofy goober joke character initially, and over time, she changed. She developed into a more tactful and villainous character with her exposure to the contest.

A few things in the most recent episodes might allude to this. One thing being how in ii15 she discusses how she became aware of how much the contest is changing everyone, herself included. Secondly, in ii16 she tells Pickle that at the time she didn't consider how her actions were going to hurt him. This is a really shitty apology and no excuse for it, but it ALSO could mean that at the time, Taco really didn't think about it. In S1, she claims that she was just using him, but we don't know how aware of herself she was back then. Its possible that there was a past version of Taco who wasn't deadset on winning no matter the cost, and being in the game changed her.

Anyway these have been my slopthoughts. It's like 9 pm and ive been writing this for like an hour. Maybe most of this wont get addressed at all in the series, but I figured i might as well compile it down since I just finished s1

[ryuichirou]

I wanna start with I love your blog sm and I’m not trying to jump on the train, in fact I don’t even mind if you just read this and don’t post or even just delete after you read, but I know where the “Rook gaslighter” thing comes from and wanted to explain (I also just LOVE talking about rook even if its negative). Im not explaining to change your mind but rather to inform!! Because I love spending hours analyzing the characters, pls don’t stop drawing rook!! Ever!!

ANYWAYS now that “please don’t hate me I have to uncontrollably explain everything about my favorite character(s) the second someone doesn’t know about one small detail 😭” is over, I will explain! During Vil’s lab wear vignette, Rook asks Vil when he’s going to start his new diet. Vil, confused, is like what??? Tf?? And rook is like “yeah :D you have put on 3 pounds exactly :)”. Vil is lowkey like wtf Rook I haven’t noticed shit and rook is like “okayyy but who do you believe? Me or literally anyone else?” And vil is like “yeah you’re right, I’ll adjust my diet, thank you rook”.

The ‘issue’ with the “rook is a gaslighter” is it’s SOLELY a fandom thing (and maybe with other characters, but still, like. Vil is a world class model he CANT put on weight like a normal person could because it’ll unfortunately affect his career. The beauty world is just like that, irl too. Plus, this is something he wants for himself, even if he admits to hating the diets during his overblot, it’s still a part of who he is). Vil, himself, views rook’s behavior as a helpful thing, he appreciates Rook’s supernaturally keen eye! He might be offended but ultimately he would not have Rook as his vice-prez if he didn’t respect or admire Rook in some way.

I adore the way you draw them together!! The one where vil is like “how dare you! Just because he’s strange doesn’t mean he’s like that!” And rook is behind him with blood on his face, he’s so cute! I recently found another blog that is similar to yours that I also wanted to see if you knew bc they draw rook out the same way you do! @/fadiesismin is so cool and I think you’d love their artwork!!! Also I’m very sorry for the long-winded ask, in my defense, I’m also a Sagittarius. Rook 🫶 Me, xoxoxoxoxo!!

Sagittarius Anon! I’m sorry it took this long to reply.

First of all, thank you for enjoying our stuff and for your support! I am very happy that you like the way we portray RookVil. Their relationship is very interesting and honestly quite nuanced; we don’t usually gravitate towards ships that have this strong of a “they’ve been dating for a while” vibe, but these two are just too charming. Probably because despite them deeply understanding each other and sharing a lot of values and passions, they really aren’t a perfect couple, and we get to see it in moments like the vignette you’ve mentioned, or Rook’s lab wear vignette, or on multiple other occasions. Rook isn’t the perfect boyfriend, in fact, he is quite a menace sometimes without really meaning harm (still, he technically made Vil cry at least once); but there also isn’t another person that would get Vil as deeply as Rook does and support him as well as Rook does. What they have is special, but isn’t perfect at all.

As you already know, we also love talking about characters a lot, so I even though I am late with this reply, I am happy to have an opportunity to talk about these two and Rook specifically. So thank you for sending this ask and waiting!

I’ve seen this vignette being used as an example of Rook being gaslighting/manipulative before, and to be honest, I don’t really get this argument. I understand that the reasoning is usually that Rook sounds similar to a man that lies to his girlfriend about her being fat because he wants her to be even skinnier or just to be an asshole about it, but here is the thing: this isn’t what Rook is doing though. Gaslighter always has ulterior motive behind their manipulations, even if it’s just to mess with someone else’s head for fun or to control this person. But with Rook (both in this vignette and in general), what you see is what you get: the man is brutally honest, sometimes even too honest. Vil himself is very aware of that and has mentioned it multiple times.

It’s just like you said! Vil never lets anyone forget that his looks are important to him (both because of his own standards and because he is a model), so of course Rook would comment on something that he noticed. This is the foundation of their relationship: Rook gives Vil his feedback because Rook sees things that other people don’t. Does it mean that this feedback is always 100% necessary and Vil should change things according to how Rook critiques him? Of course not. Maybe sometimes it would be better for Vil to just take it easy and relax instead of perfecting every single thing, but this isn’t what Vil wants for himself: he doesn’t want to be pampered, he wants to be appreciated for his hard work. Rook enables Vil’s perfectionism, but don’t forget that Rook is that force in Vil’s life that doesn’t let him forget what he is doing all that for (I’ve talked about Rook being protective of Vil’s “beauty” = love for art here). Vil having a toned body is something that Rook enjoys, but this is mainly something that Vil wants himself; I kind of think that as long as Vil’s passionate and unapologetic about things that he does, Rook would find beauty in him no matter how he looks. Remember him at the end of ch6 after Vil’s grandpafication? Yeah exactly.

Alright, I digress. The point I am trying to make is that Rook is very direct with Vil, sometimes even too direct, and this is the opposite of gaslighting. Even when he suggests things “lightly”, he is still upfront about them: he doesn’t try to plant any ideas in Vil’s head.

Rook sounds and acts like a jerk sometimes, but he means well, and it’s not an excuse, just a fact. In Rook’s head, Vil always takes his direct remarks and observations very well, what’s so different this time? Even if you’ve been with someone for years, fuckups are unavoidable, especially for someone who has problems with tact.

To reiterate: could this scene be triggering or upsetting? Absolutely. Are there people who comment on other’s weight to make them insecure or make them doubt themselves? Absolutely. Is this what Rook does? Absolutely not. It just isn’t true to his character: he wouldn’t gain anything if Vil started doubting himself, in fact, he would have hated it. He doesn’t want Vil to be insecure or unsure, this is literally what he confronted him about at the end of Ch5. He also doesn’t need to do anything for Vil to trust him more than others: Vil already does. When he was saying that he knew better than anyone or anything else, he stated the truth, and this is what so fucked up about Rook: he really does know better.

It’s very important to remember that these characters have their own circumstances and their own writing, and we are fucking blessed to have a cast of characters this interesting and complex.

By the way, I am saying all of this as someone who wouldn’t mind Rook being a gaslighter and could see fanon scenarios where it could work, but those need to be very well-written not to ruin his character, because honesty is an integral part of Rook Hunt. For better or worse.

Also, I know you haven’t mentioned Jade, Anon, but since this entire discussion started with comparing the two, I wanted to note that Jade’s Dorm Uniform vignette exists. Vil literally looked at him man and decided not to trust him for one moment, even scolded Rook for even humouring the idea that Jade was telling the truth. And this is just one instance; we are constantly being reminded by everyone in cast about the fact that Jade is shady and we shouldn’t take seriously the majority of things that he says (pretty much verbatim to what Floyd said about him in the Playful Land event). Jade doesn’t care about honesty, he doesn’t care about lying either: all he cares about is what to say to make the others react in the most interesting way possible. He loves messing with people, and the world is his playground….

(I am also pretty sure that he comments on Azul’s diet; this has nothing to do with gaslighting either, just thought I’d mention that since we’re talking about this)

Anyways, thank you again for your ask, Anon! I hope this wasn’t an exhausting read. I always feel like I haven’t said everything that I wanted to say, but fortunately I still have tons of replies to write, so I’ll have my chance..! Probably.

PS. @/fadiesismin’s works are very good!!

[acalr4bbit]

Hello

I really wasn't sure about sharing this but I couldn't keep it to myself anymore

You guys know I don't do as much lego movie content as I used to, well I guess this could be 'the reason'

So, My mom knows very well that I love Lego Movie, well, on December 28th, she gave me a DVD of The Lego Movie 2 as a kind of belated Christmas present, she told me that she bought it for $1 from a stand in the market that is near our house (every Saturday a kind of market/bazaar is set up near our house where various things are sold)

I was very happy, although I was surprised that they were selling a DVD at such a cheap price, considering the economic situation in my country, but I didn't give it much tho

Later that day, my parents went shopping, and my sister was in her room as usual, so I took the opportunity to watch tlm2 without anyone bothering me

So, everything started normally, with the Warner logo made of legos, and it went as normal (what I could notice was that the movie was fully in English, this not being my main language, but since I watched the movie several times in both Spanish and English, I could understand the vast majority of what the characters were saying)

And well, the movie continued its course as normal, until the screen goes black for a few seconds, just before the scene where Rex attacks Emmet under the washing machine appears.

That startled me a little, I thought the power had gone out (it happens often here), but it hadn't. Suddenly the scene where Rex attacks Emmet under the washing machine comes on, but the background was like a grey 3d background, and the lighting of the scene wasn't very good, as if it was the same scene but unfinished

Rex attacks Emmet, splitting him in half, but unlike the original scene, in this one when Emmet is split in half, studs and other red pieces come out of him, as if it were "blood"

This scared me, I never thought this would happen in tlm2, considering it's a movie for kids, and I'm very fond of Rex, and seeing him slaughter Emmet just changed my opinion of him.

But it didn't end there, Rex continued to attack Emmet mercilessly, leaving him screaming and sobbing in pain and suffering, it made my heart break just seeing poor, innocent Emmet being literally slaughtered.

The scene was basically screams, sobs and splashing sounds, hearing Emmet's screams of pain was almost torturous to hear

After a few seconds of what seemed like torture, Rex finally snaps, and sees the bloody mess and mutilated body of what used to be Emmet

I hear Rex say something, I think what he said was "What have I done?", but I'm not sure. What I remember is that in that shot, the animation looked more sloppy, which refuted the idea that what I had just seen was a deleted/unfinished scene

Suddenly the screen goes black again for a few seconds, and returns to the scene where Lucy arrives to rescue Emmet from under the washing machine, as if Rex hadn't literally mutilated his past self

I turned off the TV and I quickly took the disc out of the DVD player, I was practically crying, I couldn't get Emmet's sobs of agony and pain out of my head.

Now, what I remember after that is that I went to my sister's room very scared and crying, and she asked me very irritated what was happening, so I told her everything I saw, but she just limited herself to laughing at me and not believing me

What I was thinking at that moment was that my mom probably wanted to play a joke on me (December 28th here is like April Fool's Day), but then I thought that she wouldn't be so cruel to do that to me, and she didn't even know about that holiday

Btw I have a photo as proof of all this, at the time I took the photo my phone was I think at 3%, so it looks blurry because I took it in a hurry

Anyway, I'm planning to distance myself a bit from the tlm fandom after this, I hope you understand :'((

[kassiekole22]

Josh being in love with an oblivious reader and the twins are alive and trying to create situations to get them together 👉👈👉👈👉👈

Best Day Ever

Picture lightly edited by me.

Pairing: Josh Washington X Fem!Reader Description: After a spur of the moment decision, Josh takes you and his sisters to a carnival. Hannah and Beth decide to take this opportunity to push you and Josh together, since Josh has had a massive crush on you for a long time and has been too afraid to make a move... Warnings: Fluff, Maybe A Pinch Of Angst, Kind Of Mutual Pining (But Very Intense On One Side. 👀), Friends Turning Into Beautiful Lovers. Word Count: 4.8k (I haven't written a fic this long in quite a while. 😅) A/N: This took an embarrassing amount of time, I know. I was just in no mind state to write and I wanted it to be perfect, so I decided to wait. And it took even longer because when I was editing it one last time, the final copy got deleted so I had to reedit the whole thing and rewrite the parts I had added in there. @108garys requested a carnival fic for Josh a few days prior to this request, so I got the idea to combine them together. I hope that's ok. 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 This is actually my old Jalim fic, Just For Fun, too. I always wanted to rewrite it because I felt like it could have been better than what it was. So, when I got the opportunity to do this, I decided to finally do it and I am happy with the results. Anon requester and @108garys, I want to thank you for giving me this request. It really made me happy, knowing that people wanted me to write a fic for them, especially when I was so new to the Until Dawn fandom. Anyway, I'll quit my rambling now. I hope you all enjoy. 💖 Josh's MasterList: 🖤 Main MasterList: 🖤 Josh's Angels: @lorebite, @house-of-kolchek, @koexchange, @yesitsloulou, @mistmoose, @jasonexo, @mornandil, @fortune-fool02, and @raven-the-cryptid. (If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know in the comments! 🖤)

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Me, (Y/N), Hannah and Beth were driving from the store one sunny afternoon. We weren't there long; only to grab some microwave popcorn and chips for a movie we were planning to watch. It was a short trip but everybody insisted on going along for the ride. It was nice, having the three most important women in my life with me. Even if it was just something as simple as going to the grocery store, it was memories like these that I cherished the most.

The ride was pretty silent other than a song playing quietly on the radio, but it was nice — it was peaceful. A couple of minutes passed and we drove passed a carnival. That's when I noticed (Y/N) turning her head to look out her window.

"Oh, looks like they set up a carnival for the weekend." I mentioned, just to see how she would react.

"Yeah, I noticed." She said just barely above a whisper whilst still staring out her window. "Haven't been to one in years."

"Jesus, us neither." Beth spoke up in the back.

"Probably since we were sixteen." Hannah recalled quietly.

I sat in silence and pondered for a minute, taking my eyes off of the road for a quick moment to watch (Y/N) whilst chewing on the inside of my cheek. She looked sad — or maybe disappointed. Now that I had thought about it, I hadn't been to a carnival in such a long time. We really weren't in too much of a hurry to get back and I was sure that the movie could wait.

"You wanna go?" I finally asked and she took her eyes off the window to gaze at me with uncertainty.

"W-What? No, we can't. We have groceries in the back seat." She looked down at her hands folded in her lap, her lips turned down into a disappointed frown.

"Oh, fuck yeah!" Beth cheered behind me, startling me and nearly making me jump out of my seat. I shook my head as I let a short chuckle roll passed my lips.

"The groceries can wait. Nothing's gotta go in the fridge." I mused. "It'll be fun."

Before she opened her mouth to protest again, I turned the car around and drove in the direction of the small carnival before us. I pulled into a free parking spot, got out and rounded the side of the car before opening the door for (Y/N) and giving her my hand to help her up. Her eyes lit up with wonder as she studied the crowds and the attractions around her.

"What should we do first?" She asked me as we walked in, hand in hand, to ensure that we would not get separated.

We had done this before but only so we don't get separated in big crowds because (Y/N) hates to be alone. I wish it meant more to her than that. I wish she knew that when I held her hand, it's not just because I don't want to lose her in a big crowd…

"Fuck, I don't know! I'm so excited, I can't think!" Beth said eagerly with nothing but pure excitement in her voice and I chuckled at her enthusiasm. "This is going to be the best day ever!"

"I'm excited too." (Y/N) giggled. "What do you think, Josh?"

"I don't know. We haven't had lunch yet — you wanna get something to eat? My treat." I suggested as I pulled out my wallet and smiled kindly at her.

"Yeah, I am pretty hungry." Hannah expressed and I nodded before grabbing plucking out a twenty. Luckily, I went to an atm before heading to the store and had enough cash on me for the day.

"Yeah, I'd love that." (Y/N) expressed. A look of adoration melted into her soft eyes as she gazed up at me for a moment and I swear, it made my heart stop. I felt heat creep within my cheeks and I looked away quickly, hoping she wouldn't notice.

We went to the nearest food stall and I ordered some burgers, some fries and Pepsis for us all. After, we found a bench close by and sat down with our lunches. (Y/N) took a bite out of her burger and her eyes lit up before closing to appreciate the taste.

"This is amazing!" She took another big bite. "I forgot how good carnival food is!"

I couldn't help but smile at how happy she was over something as simple as a burger. I admired how she enjoyed the small things in life. Even something as small as food could cast the biggest smile on her face.

"Jesus! Ok, Josh! You are taking all three of us to carnivals more often! It's a must!" Beth declared before taking a bite out of her own burger.

"Yeah, you'll have to become that big movie producer fast so you'll have enough money to splurge on us!" I couldn't help but full out laugh at Hannah's comment and, by the looks of it, (Y/N) and Beth couldn't either.

"(Y/N), back in California, we have the biggest fairs and carnivals! Like rollercoasters that could last an hour, I swear to God!" Beth mused once she calmed down from her fit of giggles, wiping a tear from her eye as she did so. (Y/N)'s eyes widened before she turned to look at me for conformation and I nodded as a smile crept upon my lips.

"Shit! Yeah, I have to see that!" She giggled excitedly in agreement.

Beth finished her meal first and waited a minute until (Y/N) was finished before taking her hand and nearly dragging her off the bench.

"We have to go do something really quick." She said and both me and (Y/N) raised a brow in confusion.

"What about me?" Hannah asked, a frown forming where her smile used to be from being left out.

"If you weren't such a slow eater, then you could come too." Beth teased and Hannah's lips turned up into an awkward smile as she adjusted her glasses.

She always did that when she felt nervous.

"Well, Jesus! At least she paces herself — unlike some of us." I said, gesturing to Beth and she scoffed.

"I would watch yourself, big brother." She approached me slowly as a mischievous look formed in her eyes. I clenched what little I had left of my burger in my hands, in fear that I was about to lose it. "You know, I'm shocked — you're usually the fastest eater out of all three of us."

She stopped right in front of me and froze for a moment, making me feel both confused and worried. Before I could even attempt to react, she booped my nose and when I winced, she plucked the remainder of my burger from my hands and pushed it all in her mouth, smiling wickedly at me as her cheeks puffed out as if she was a chipmunk.

She skipped off with (Y/N) and I yelled a threatening, "I'll get you back for this!" Over my shoulder and I just barely caught Beth giving me the finger as she walked away.

I stayed seated on the bench with Hannah and watched all the children playing before us. I began imagining what it would be like taking my children to the carnival, watching their excited expressions as they went on all the rides and ate as many sweets as they could while (Y/N) is scolding me for giving them too many. Aw hell, who was I kidding? (Y/N) was just as much of a push over as I was. We would all probably spend the night with stomach aches. I was so deep in thought about my future that I failed to notice the small smile on my lips as I watched the children play.

"You can't fool me." I heard Hannah speak up beside me as she nudged my shoulder with her own. She had closed the little distance between us so she was sitting by my side now, finishing up her food as she watched the children play as well. "You can put on that "player" act all you want, but I know the real you. I see the way you look at (Y/N). Face it Joshy — you're smitten."

"What? Nah!" I scoffed with a roll of my eyes and Hannah rolled hers as well. Why do siblings gotta be so good at reading each other?

"You are with her every day, you talk about her constantly during the times you aren't and you can't tell me that you wouldn't do absolutely anything for her." She accused. "And you also can't tell me that you weren't just imagining those kids over there as your own."

I stayed silent for a moment, realizing that my sister was right. She knew that that front I always put up was a lie. I had always wanted a family of my own, and I think I had finally found the girl that I wanted to start it with — if only I had the fucking balls to tell her how I felt.

"Well, lil sis — I think you might just be right." I muttered, mind only half in reality as I pondered actually telling her that I had feelings for her.

"Look what I got!" Beth sang behind us and I jumped, hoping that her and (Y/N) did not just hear my confession. I turned to see them both holding cotton candies and, judging by their facial expressions, they didn't hear a thing. They handed me and Hannah ours before sitting down beside us on the bench.

"It's so sweet." (Y/N) said as she licked her lips. My eyes lingered on them for a second, admiring how soft they looked before I noticed Beth smirking at me out of the corner of my eye.

"Sure is!" I agreed, turning my attention back to (Y/N). "But, not as sweet as you."

She giggled at my comment and Hannah and Beth made gagging sounds. After we finished eating our cotton candy, we decided to go on some rides. Can't go to a carnival and not go on the rides, right? After all, it's good to get the heart racing every now and then.

After walking around for awhile and trying to agree on what we would all go on first, my eyes met the one that I was definitely not going to skip. I pointed at the Drop Tower, "Yes! We're doing that!" I demanded as I pulled on (Y/N)'s arm.

"I don't know, Josh…" She looked up at it reluctantly and then looked at me, a worried expression on her now pale face. Hannah and Beth walked up beside us and looked up at the tower as well. Hannah looked so pale that I already knew her answer, and Beth looked so excited that I thought she'd for sure join us. But then that excitement in her eyes turned into mischief as she peered over at me and (Y/N).

'What is she up to?' I thought to myself as I glanced at my sister out of the corner of my eye.

"I think I'll sit this one out. (Y/N), why don't you try it? Josh will be there to protect you." She nudged my shoulder and I glared back at her. I couldn't believe she was going to do this — she was going to leave us alone to push us together.

"But Beth, you love these kinds of rides." I said through gritted teeth, giving my sister the 'don't you fucking dare' look. She just smirked at me and then turned her attention back to (Y/N).

"Come on! It'll be fun! Please? I just know you'll love it!" She begged her like a bratty little child.

(Y/N) heaved a sighed. "Fine."

We got strapped in and before we knew it, the ride started to go up. (Y/N) closed his eyes as tightly as she could while her fingers clenched the safety bars and I couldn't help but feel bad for getting her in this situation that she very clearly didn't want to be in.

We got strapped in and before we knew it, the ride started to go up. (Y/N) closed his eyes as tightly as she could while her fingers clenched the safety bars.

We were finally at the top and I never felt more alive. The adrenaline felt better than any drug I have ever taken. I wanted to throw my hands in the air and scream it to the world.

"This is awesome!" I yelled with a laugh following my words. (Y/N), however, did not look like she shared my enthusiasm. Her eyes were still clenched shut and she now was shaking like a leaf! Now, I could have been my usual cocky self and acted all brave in front of her, as I usually did. But seeing her this scared hurt my heart.

So, instead of acting like 'the big man', I decided to look down and scream at the top of my lungs, "FUCK! SHIT! OH, HELL NO!"

She bursted out laughing at my reaction and just by looking at the sweet smile on her beautiful face, I knew that all the teasing I was going to get from Hannah and Beth was worth it. The ride dropped down and I screamed again but more dramatic and dragged out compared to the last time.

I got off of the ride first, staggering a bit to make (Y/N) giggle before giving her my hand to help her down. Then we headed back into the crowd of people to find my sisters.

"That was fun!" (Y/N) smiled up at me and I felt my heart swell.

"Hey, big brother! Have any vocal cords left after that big performance you gave the whole park up there?" Beth teased with her famous cocky smirk plastered on her face and I literally bit my tongue to hold back my bitter reply that was practically pushing through the seam of my lips.

"Yeah, you sounded like you were being chased by some blood-thirsty monster or something!" Hannah laughed and I rolled my eyes. But (Y/N) giggled as well and I remembered that it was worth all the torture just to hear it.

'Remember her smile. Just remember her fucking smile.' I thought to repress the urge to give my sisters nice Indian burns on each of their arms.

"How about some games?" I attempted to change the subject as I pointed over at the game booths. The girls snickered as they followed me, reminding me that although I was able to change the subject now, it didn't change the fact that I would be getting the worse of it later.

We walked up to a target shooting game and I slammed a few dollars down on the counter.

"This is gonna be too easy." I smirked. The carny took the money and handed me the gun.

"You get three tries. If you get three out of three, you get a big prize. If you get two, you get a medium prize. You get one, you get a small prize." The carny explained and I nodded.

I aimed the gun at the target and after a few moments of making sure the tip of my gun was perfectly aligned with the target and Beth nagging at me from behind, I fired… And missed. I felt my cheeks heat up from extreme embarrassment because I could hear the giggling of three girls behind me. I fired again and missed, letting out a frustrated grunt and cursing under my breath.

"Need me to show ya how it's done?" Beth teased as she patted my shoulder and I glared at her. She put her hands up in defense as she let out a chuckle. But I could see in her eyes that she regretted nothing. After letting my eyes linger on (Y/N) for a moment, I looked back at the target.

I really needed to focus this time. I aimed for the target one last time, fired, and missed again.

"Fuck!" I slammed my hand down on the counter. Being a perfectionist, this was frustrating as all fucking hell.

And it was even more frustrating because I knew my way around a gun. Growing up, I spent a lot of time fucking around at the shooting range at our lodge, so I was a pretty sharp shooter. But (Y/N)'s gaze heavy on my back was making me nervous as all fuck.

"It's ok, Josh. You're probably still lightheaded from the ride." (Y/N) spoke softly beside me as she placed her hand gently on my tense shoulder.

"How's this; I'll give you one last chance — if you hit the smallest target, I'll give you the big prize." The carny offered while smiling kindly at me and I nodded in agreement.

I aimed for the smallest target, took a moment to make sure I was perfectly aligned with it, and took a deep breath. I had to get it this time. I closed my eyes, carefully squeezed the trigger and the gun went off with a loud bang one last time. I opened my eyes and my heart jumped into my throat.

"Fuck, Yes!" I yelled excitedly.

I fucking got it.

I hugged (Y/N), who had been clapping beside me to cheer on my victory. The carny handed me a big, fluffy, black teddy bear with a red bow around it's neck and a big red heart between it's paws that said, 'love'. I didn't hesitate to give it to (Y/N).

"—For you." I declared proudly. Her eyes went wide and her mouth fell agape.

"Really?" She looked unsure for a moment as she hesitantly took the bear from my hands.

"Of course! I have to give you the prize, since you're my biggest cheerleader." I nudged her shoulder playfully and she blushed as she hugged the bear while smiling up at me.

"Hey, love birds!" Beth called out to us and I mentally face palmed at her ruining our moment.

'Dammit, Beth!' For all I knew, it could have turned into our first kiss.

"Don't mind her." Hannah rolled her eyes with a chuckle. "We were wondering if you guys wanted to continue going on some other rides?"

"Sure! Why not?" I agreed before following my sisters to their next ride of choice.

We decided to go on some calmer rides, since Hannah had a weak stomach. The Carousel was Hannah's first choice because she loved the horses. When I went to sit on the horse beside Beth's, Hannah pushed passed me and jumped on it before signaling behind her. I looked behind me to see (Y/N) already on her horse and the one beside her empty. I glared at my sisters, seeing right through their little plan and went to sit beside (Y/N). Not that I'm complaining though — we had a good time and it was pretty fun.

And then, after that, we tried the Bumper Cars. Me and Beth got a little too competitive there, ending in a couple of cars getting a bit damaged. After awhile, Hannah and (Y/N) stayed parked on the sidelines and watched the shitshow of a war that me and Beth created in the middle. She will never admit it, but I clearly won that round.

And we also tried the darts game, where (Y/N) won a small, light brown puppy plushy that had really big and buggy sad eyes.

"Ha! It looks just like you! It's got those big—" Beth couldn't finish, because I interrupted her quickly, trying to avoid being embarrassed for the— however many times it's been today.

"DON'T!" I growled as my eye shot daggers towards my sister.

"But you didn't let me finish, big brother." She smiled innocently and I looked over to Hannah and (Y/N), who also looked weary of Beth's attitude as well.

"Fine… Go ahead…" I sighed, defeated and finally accepting my fate.

"It's got those big bug-eyes, just like yours!" She reached up and patted me on the head and I clenched my teeth. I glared at Beth and Hannah held the toy up beside my face.

"It's uncanny!" Hannah laughed and I just about ripped the toy right out of her grasp.

"No need to be a smart-ass!" I grumbled as I folded my arms across my chest.

"Oh, but it's cute." (Y/N) chuckled as she took the small toy from Hannah. I felt a familiar heat creep upon my cheeks as she spoke and turned to look at me with a softness in her eyes that could bring light to any dark heart.

"Really?" I said, barely above a whisper after swallowing thickly.

"Yeah." Her voice was so soft, it almost made me cry.

"Uhhhhh— W–Why don't we try the haunted house?! That should be fun, r–right?" I attempted to change the subject as I tore my eyes away from hers. The girls agreed and we headed towards the ride.

Of course — as I expected — Hannah and Beth ditched me and (Y/N) for their own cart, leaving me alone with her YET AGAIN! I didn't know how much more I could take. I loved being around her — don't get me wrong — but for the last month, my little crush on her had been growing stronger and being alone with her was painfully awkward, especially since she didn't even realize that I had feelings for her. Nope! After all the regular compliments I gave her, she still hadn't figured it out! Well — to be fair — I make comments towards lots of girls but those are different. Those are just dumb sex jokes I make to be funny and sometimes weird people out. With her, it's different — it means something. I just wish she knew that.

Maybe I shouldn't be so annoyed with Hannah and Beth trying to put me in these awkward situations. They just want me to be happy. But what people don't know is that I'm a lot more insecure than I let on. Yup! That's right! Mr. Bone Zone isn't so confident after all! So shocking, right? So, being alone with a girl as pretty as (Y/N) is basically fucking torture for me.

Our cart began to move towards the entrance to the ride and I sneakily put my arm around (Y/N). It was a bold move but I had to do something! I felt her tense and for a minute, I thought it was because of my arm and I went to pull away before realizing that it wasn't my arm at all, it was because she was scared.

As our cart moved throughout the ride, I noticed her getting more and more tense. I then shuffled closer to her and she — I am assuming subconsciously — leaned into my body, as if she was hoping for my protection. I instinctively wrapped my arms around her and began explaining how each prop was made and every gory and ghostly illusion was done. It seemed to calm her and she eventually relaxed into my embrace — just another perk to having a father in the film industry.

Once the ride began to slow — or as I like to say: the calm before the storm — she began to melt into my arms and rested her head on my chest. Trying so hard to keep it cool, I rested my head on top of her's and closed my eyes, enjoying the moment of peace we had.

"Thank you, Josh." She whispered and I felt my heart stammer a little, until— "You're a good friend."

'Fuck! You're kidding, right?!'

I felt my heart drop at her words and squeezed my eyes shut as hard as I could, trying to ignore the disappointment and small bit of heartbreak I was enduring. The ride eventually came to an end and we were greeted by Beth and a very pale Hannah, who looked as if she was about to vomit. Laughing and trying to ignore what had just happened, I wrapped my arm around my little sister to give her a comforting side-hug before we continued on to do something new.

A few hours later, we all decided to go on the Ferris Wheel before finally going home. Again, Hannah and Beth insisted on going on their own cart, leaving me and (Y/N) alone for what I was hoping was the last time today. After being taken to the worst zone of all — the 'friend zone' — I really didn't want to be left alone with her any longer.

We reached the top and (Y/N) leaned into my side and I subconsciously wrapped my arm around her shoulders. It was dark out now and the park was lit up by all the lights from the rides and the games. It was a breathtaking view and judging by the smile on (Y/N)'s face, she thought so as well. She rested her head on my shoulder and I froze, not knowing what to do.

"It's beautiful." She whispered as her beautiful eyes lit up from the lights of the park and I couldn't help but notice how they illuminated her face just right, showing off her best features.

"Just like you." I murmured without a second thought. But her body tensing up and the sudden movement of her pulling away from me made me snap out of whatever fucking trance I was in at the moment.

"W–What?" She stuttered her question as nothing but pure shock painted over her calm expression that her face held only second ago.

"Oh— Uh— I was just saying— You know, like I always do?" I tried to brush it off but the look on her face told me she didn't believe me.

"You never said it quite like that before." Her voice was barely above a whisper. And in that moment, I knew I couldn't keep it from her any longer.

"(Y/N)… There is something I have to tell you…" I admitted as I looked down at my shoes, terrified to meet her gaze. "I like you — a lot. Hell, I might even love you! I'm sorry, but I can't hold back my feelings any longer."

After a few seconds of silence that felt like hours, I decided to glance up — only to see her staring at me with an even more shocked expression. Her eyes were wide, mouth agape, pale; she looked like she had just come out of a horror movie!

"I–I had no idea, Josh…" She whispered as she looked down at her hands that were now folded in her lap as she picked at her nails nervously. I fucking knew it was coming to a rejection. I wasn't too familiar with the whole thing. Babes would go with me even if they didn't like me, just because I had money. But I knew (Y/N) was better than that. And I knew that because of that, I was going to lose her.

"I'm sorry if this has ruined things between us." I look away from her, mentally kicking myself for being so dumb. But then I felt two soft hands over my own. I hesitantly peered back at her to see her staring at me with warmth in her eyes that no fire could create and a smile that could bring me back to life if I had died.

"I never said that it did. I like you too, Josh — a lot, actually. I just didn't think that you liked me back." She explained and my eyes widened in shock.

"Y–You like me too?"

"Yeah!"

"Holy shit!" I yelled excitedly, standing up but then remembering that I was hundreds of feet in the air, so I quickly sat back down, making her giggle. "S–So, you'll be my girlfriend then?"

"Of course, silly!" She chuckled and with that being said, I placed a gentle kiss upon her soft lips. Finally, I have gotten what I have truly desired for so long.

'I'll have to thank Hannah and Beth for this later.' I made a mental note after we broke away from the kiss after a minute or two. She rested her head on my shoulder and I rested mine on top of hers as we enjoyed the rest of the ride.

Driving home, we were all exhausted from the day we had. I looked in the rear view mirror to see Hannah and Beth, completely knocked out from exhaustion and I just chuckled to myself — it was the first time Beth had been quiet that day.

Then I looked over to (Y/N) — who was fast asleep in the passenger seat while cuddling her bear with a big smile on her face. My heart felt so warm at the sight of how happy my girl was.

And nothing has ever made me happier.

It truly was the best day ever.

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