#anyway idk where this is going anymore.. rule in my house: you must be KIND to nishiki

[cloneslugs]

*thinks about nishiki* Q____Q

[matchasprouts]

The Walls - Chapter 5

[ whoa! idk how i got this out but uhhhhhhh enjoy ]

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Felix was surprised to be woken up by Greta, three hours after he usually got up no less. Before he could ask why she let him sleep in, she cut him off with the answer. “You looked ready to drop dead yesterday. I figured you needed the extra rest.”

She was right, those extra hours helped dissipate some of the ache in his muscles. “Maybe you should take a break today,” she suggested, readjusting Brahms on her hip. “I know you usually don’t do that, the Heelshires told me that much, but you really need it.”

And then she left, and Felix was left wondering what she meant by that. Until, of course, he caught a look at himself in the vanity mirror.

He looked nothing short of awful. There were deep, dark circles under his eyes from the lack of proper sleep he’d been getting, his eyes themselves were bloodshot, and if he looked closely he could see there was still dirt in his hair.

Not to mention the screaming ache that shot through every muscle in his body, almost making him feel like he was about to collapse.

The last time his body felt and looked like this was in college, and he hated it. He hated looking weak, much less feeling weak. If a break was what it took for him to have the energy to kill someone if needed, then he would take that goddamn break.

Starting with a hot bath to soothe his body and finally get that fucking dirt off of him.

---

He almost died in the bathtub.

Or at least, that’s what he told Greta when he came downstairs with his hair still sopping wet and dripping water everywhere. She seemed concerned for all of two seconds before deciding she simply didn’t care.

What actually happened is that he fell asleep in the bathtub, woke up suddenly to the sound of a child laughing, and freaked himself out. To be fair, he did hit his head on the side of the tub at least twice.

Anyway, Felix wasn’t built for breaks, so instead of relaxing or even just doing something small like playing the piano, he spent his time helping Greta with her chores. Being taller than her, he could reach higher shelves when dusting the bookcase, so he did. When she was occupied with Brahms, he would take over vacuuming or the dishes. He even took to going around and fixing every slightly crooked painting that he was sure had been jostled by the wall thing.

Basically, he was no good at sitting still. Felix was either doing something every second of the day, or he was sleeping. There was just no in between for him.

That is, until there was literally nothing else to be done. It was late afternoon now, the sun was just barely starting to dip past the horizon. Felix was sitting at the piano, playing a soft and somewhat cheerful tune, since Brahms didn’t seem to like the melancholic melodies he knew.

“When did you learn piano?” Greta asked after a while, setting down the book she’d been reading to the doll. The suddenness of the question made Felix’s fingers stutter, hitting a sour note that made him cringe.

“I don’t remember,” he admitted after moving his hands to his lap, so he couldn’t get distracted while playing again. “I imagine it was sometime in my childhood, maybe in highschool? I think I took a class… I’m not sure. My childhood memories are foggy at best.”

At least he was telling the truth. While fresher memories were burned into his head, anything before his freshman year in college was a blank. The only therapist he’d ever seen told him it was repression, due to trauma. Since he couldn’t remember what the trauma was though, they could never work on it.

The only thing he truly remembered was his mother. Soft voiced, a brunette like him, piercing green eyes. She was beautiful. She also had a grip like the devil, and spoke like it too.

To some extent, he was aware that his insecurities came from her. He also knew that she had been… less than supportive when he told her that he was trans, and that it led to probably one of the worst arguments of his life.

Sometimes, when he looked down at his hands, he thought he could still see the bruises her grip had left.

He shook his head, clearing it of the images of her. ‘She’s no longer a concern,’ he reminded himself internally, ‘you took care of that. She’s gone.’

“Oh,” Greta spoke again, snapping him back to reality, “well, that’s too bad. You’re really good at it, you know. You must have been practicing for a long time.”

Right. They were talking about the piano. He mentally scolded himself for getting off track before clearing his throat. “Yeah, I played all through college. Most at frat parties and the like, it’s a great party trick. My hands still cramp up sometimes though. Guess that’ll never stop happening.”

He returned to his playing after that, due to the soft scratching in the wall behind him. Sometimes the thing would let him take a break, but apparently today was not one of those days. He liked that it liked his music, he really did, but it could be so demanding sometimes.

After a little while, it came time for Brahms to be put to bed. After glancing at the clock, Greta stood up with the doll, told Felix good night, and headed upstairs.

Once Felix had finished the song, and confirmed that the thing had taken off, he followed her up.

And, since both were upstairs, neither of them heard the door open. The door they never bothered to lock because no one ever came all the way out here.

Felix had just collapsed face first onto his bed when he heard the thing practically running through the walls, back downstairs. Following that, he heard the familiar sound of the billiard balls hitting each other.

He shot up without a moment’s hesitation, running almost full speed back down the stairs and to the room where the pool table was kept. He almost fell over once there, slamming full force into the doorframe.

There stood a rather greasy looking man with long hair pulled back into a bun, sporting a messy beard. He stared at Felix in confusion, who was glaring so harshly at him that he would be dead if looks could kill.

It wasn’t long before Greta and the doll joined them, interrupting their staring match. “... Cole?” she asked softly, sounding both confused and scared.

Oh? Oh Greta was scared of this man? And he invaded their house?? Oh.

Almost immediately, Felix stood in front of Greta, grabbing one of the pool sticks and holding it up as a make-shift weapon. “You’re not welcome here,” he spat at Cole who, for the most part, seemed unfazed.

Boy was he gonna regret that.

“I don’t even know who you are,” Cole brushed him off, looking around him at Greta again. Felix once again stepped to block him. He accepted this fate, choosing to just speak at Greta. “Greta, babe, you just left without saying anything.”

It was hard to tell, but Felix could feel Greta’s free hand brush up against his back, seemingly grateful to have a shield against the other man. “Getting- getting this job was kind of sudden… and you know we aren’t together anymore…”

Knowing that Cole was an abusive ex made Felix want to kick his ass even more.

Cole took a step toward them, and Felix immediately held the stick up higher, more than ready to take a swing at the bastard. That made him pause, clearly wondering if getting beat up by a gardener was worth it.

“So, where’s the little kid?” Cole asked after a moment of tense silence. Felix glanced back at Greta, silently willing her to ignore him, but she stepped forward anyway and showed him Brahms. Cole laughed, as expected. “No, seriously, where’s the kid?”

“This is Brahms,” Greta said, standing her ground. She and Cole stared at each other for a long moment, before he seemed to accept that she wasn’t joking.

“Well, that makes this easier at least. We’re going home tomorrow. I already bought the plane tickets,” Cole announced, making Greta actually flinch. It was clear she didn’t want to go. Felix’s patience was running thin- he knew he needed to cut this off before he did something rash.

Before either of them could continue their conversation, Felix stepped in. “She’s not going anywhere. She has a job to do, and she will complete it. The Heelshires expect it of her. You’re welcome to stay here for tonight, only because I pity whatever hole you crawled out of, but you will be gone in the morning. Do I make myself clear?”

At least he was smart enough to avoid a confrontation. “Crystal,” Cole replied, putting his hands up in a mock surrender.

“I’ll get him set up. Can you go lay Brahms down?” Greta stepped in again, a hand on Felix’s bicep. He nodded to her, setting down the pool stick and taking Brahms from her. He sent Cole one last glare before heading upstairs.

Normally he’d be able to hear the thing follow him into the bedroom, but not this time. He assumed it was because it was watching over Greta, which he was glad for.

He changed Brahms into his pajamas with shaky hands, trying so hard to contain the rage that threatened to spill over just from Cole’s presence in the house. Another broken fucking rule, and he hadn’t been good enough to stop it.

After tucking Brahms into bed and giving him the obligatory good night kiss, he went back downstairs to check on Greta, only to be stopped by her at the top of the stairs. “Thank you for not doing anything… rash down there,” she told him, looking genuinely grateful.

“Believe me, if there was no consequences in beating him until he was unconscious, I wouldn’t have hesitated,” Felix replied harshly, now turning on his heel and heading back to his room. Greta stood in place for a moment, surprised, before heading into Brahms’s room.

The doll was the only comfort she had at the moment, so she laid down with him, holding him close as she drifted off to sleep.

---

They woke up to Cole yelling downstairs, practically screaming for Greta. When she and Felix got downstairs, the offending asshole grabbed Greta by the arm and yanked her into the room.

“What the fuck is that!?” he yelled, pointing up at something written in red on one of the upper windows,

‘Get Out’. Huh. Clearly the wall thing didn’t like this bitch.

Felix tuned out Cole’s frantic yelling when he noticed Brahms sitting in one of the armchairs, a bag full of dead rats sitting in front of him. Greta noticed it as well, gasping at the sight of the boy and rushing forward to pull him into her arms.

Apparently Cole did not like this.

“Of course all you care about is that fucking doll! He’s not a real boy, Greta!!” he shouted, making both Felix and Greta flinch. “Now you tell me who the hell did this!”

“Brahms did,” Felix cut in, making Cole look sharply at him. He figured he’d rather Cole yell at him over Greta. “He doesn’t like you. You’re an intruder in his home. He was bound to lash out.”

“Oh, so you’re telling me that the fucking DOLL did that?” Cole snapped, taking an aggressive step towards Felix and gaining a low growl in response. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

“He’s not,” Greta cut in, her voice shaky. “Brahms… is very creative and- and he doesn’t like you. Not at all.”

Cole glanced between the two of them before letting out a frustrated yell and snatching Brahms from Greta’s arms, despite her protests. “Enough about this stupid doll!”

Before any of them knew it, they were upstairs and in the child’s bedroom. “Put him down Cole!” Greta begged him, staying a safe distance away but clearly wanting to run over to the boy.

Felix, on the other hand, was taking direct action. “Either you put him down, or I make you regret being born,” he threatened, grabbing the closest weapon- a small bat that he jokingly left in Brahms’s room “in case he needed it”.

“You’re not gonna touch me with this fucking thing here,” Cole retorted, holding Brahms up by the leg. He was right, because Felix just stood there, gaze glued on the doll.

Cole began to swing the boy around by the leg when he realized no one was going to do anything, quietly humming to himself. “Maybe… if this thing wasn’t here…” he mused, glancing at Greta.

Felix moved first, lunging for Cole, but he wasn’t fast enough. Not even close. Brahms’s head shattered on the chair before Felix managed to tackle Cole, sending both of them toppling onto the ground.

And then the walls started to shake, freezing both of them. Felix was up in a matter of seconds, truly panicking now. It had seen what had just happened.

And it wasn’t happy.

[galactic-magick]

Distance: Patton x Reader

Request: Hii! Could i get a Patton x Reader with the prompts 14 and 35 in the beginning, then 8 towards the end please? I had this idea where its a human au and Patton and Reader met when they were young at summer camp. Patton feels homesick and Reader sees them and decided to comfort them. Years pass and they get jobs and stuff and because they didnt live near eachother they'd usually talk on the phone, but stopped. One day reader calls and says prompt 8 and Patton confesses his love on the phone. - @autumnfalls26​

Summary: Your childhood best friend you met at a summer camp crosses your mind again.

Words: 1400+                                        

Warnings: none I think? Touch of angst ig

Author’s Notes: Present day is in normal text and flashback to when you were kids is in italics. Idk why I got emotional writing this lol. Maybe cuz I’m a Patton kinnie.

Taglist: @luluwinchester​ @nerve-ous-love​ @zarieslayer​ @amayaisokay​

-                                

-

-

The door shuts, and you let out a long awaited breath.

It wasn’t any different than a normal day. You got up. You went to work. And now you’re home.

But every day it hurts more and more, the constant strain of being an adult and having to abandon your dreams for more “productive” activities. Your life feels empty, like something is missing.

You slump on the couch and glance at the shelf, pictures lined up in no particular order. Family and friends occupy the frames, and one of them has a group picture of the summer camp you went to when you were younger.

You hoist yourself up, walking over and grabbing the latter. Everyone’s smiling, sweaty and dirty, and you get a laugh out of your younger self’s chubby cheeks and toothy grin.

You look at the little boy next to you. Patton Sanders was his name.

Is, you correct yourself. He’s still around, even though you don’t talk anymore.

It’s not that anything happened. You just, grew apart. You connected so well as kids at that camp, becoming best friends basically on the first day. After it was over you talked on the phone almost every day throughout middle school, high school around once a week, but after that, the contact lessened. With college and jobs and whatnot, you simply stopped talking as much.

And now you can’t remember the last time you called him.

 “Are you okay?” you plopped down on the bench next to the boy you saw crying.

He sniffled, looking at you, “Yeah, I’m fine,”

“Hi fine, I’m Y/N!”

His tears stopped almost as if by command, and he stared at you.

Then he burst out laughing, “You like dad jokes too?”

“What do you mean? I’m not a dad,” you shook your head.

“Oh. Sorry. One of the big kids told me that’s what my jokes are called,”

“Did the big kids make you cry?” you cocked your head.

“No, I was just feeling sad,” another tear started to fall despite you lightening his mood.

“Why?”

“I miss home. I’ve never been away from home this long without my parents,”

You stood up firmly, your hands on your hips and staring right at him, “Will you quit raining on your own parade? We can do whatever we want here! No parents means no rules!”

“I guess so…”

“We can play on the playground as long as we want! We don’t have to eat vegetables! We can stay up late!” you didn’t mean to yell at him, you were just excited. “What’s your name anyway?”

“Patton,”

“Hi Patton,” you grabbed his arm and pulled him up. “C’mon, let’s go explore,”

“B-But what if we get lost? What if we get in trouble?”

“It’s okay, I’ll be holding your hand the entire time,”

And just like that, your hand slid into his, and he didn’t let go for dear life.

 The camp was only for a week, but you spent nearly every minute together. Patton felt safe with you, and you loved hanging out with him. You stuck by him during all the meals and group activities, and your free time too. Fortunately your cabins happened to be next to each other as well, and a couple of the nights you snuck out and just talked for hours on the swing set.

You’d never had a real best friend before, and neither had he. When your parents came to pick you up you immediately begged them to exchange numbers and emails so you could keep in touch. You houses weren’t extremely far apart, but still a couple cities away, a little over an hour’s drive. You thought you might be able to meet up once in a while, but not often.

 You set the picture back down, sighing. Childish memories usually make people happy, so why does this sting so much?

Is this what missing someone feels like? Really missing someone?

You pull out your phone from your pocket and bring up his contact.

You can’t imagine he’d want to hear from you. Why would he? What are you even supposed to say? “Hey man, long time no see”?

Incredibly underwhelming compared to what you want to say.

You want to tell him how much he meant to you all those years. How much it meant for him to talk to you every time you needed it. You told him everything, literally every single detail about your day. You laughed at each other’s dumb jokes. You cried over the phone multiple times, and so did he.

You helped each other with homework that neither of you could understand.

You tried to see each other in person at least once a year.

When you asked him to your school dance and he wasn’t able to make it, he made it up to you by sending you a package full of your favorite things and video calling you for hours.

When his pet dog died, you drove all the way to his house just to give him a hug, even though your parents didn’t like you taking the car without permission.

All you want is to know how he is. You want to know if he’s doing well, if life is treating him alright. Does he have a partner? He must, right? Is he still at the same job? Did he finish his degree?

You press the call button before you can convince yourself out of it.

He picks up surprisingly fast.

“Y/N?”

“Hey, Pat,” you smile at the sound of his voice. “Sorry about this, I’m sure you’re busy,”

“No! Not busy at all,”

“Oh,” you sit back down on the couch. “I know this might sound kind of stupid, but I was just thinking about you today, ya know, wishing we were kids again,”

There’s a silence.

“Pat? You there?”

“Y-yeah, sorry,” nervous laughter muffles his words. “I’ve just been thinking about you too. Coincidence, huh?”

“I just…I feel so bad that we barely talk anymore, ya know? Like you were my best friend for my entire life, how could I lose you like that?” you can’t believe you’re saying all this so freely, but it’s always been like that with him. It’s like you physically can’t hold anything back, even when he’s on the phone miles away.

“You never lost me,”

“What?”

“You never lost me, Y/N. I’ve always thought of you as my best friend no matter how much or little we’re talking. I’ll always wait for you,”

Your eyes water at that last comment. Although it sounded more like a promise.

“You know,” he continues. “While we’re on the subject, I should probably tell you something I should’ve told you a long time ago,”

“Mmhm?”

“Well, I kind of was in love with you, during all that time,”

“Really?”

“Yeah…And if I’m being honest, I think I still am,”

You clap your hand over your mouth and almost drop your phone.

I mean, it’s not like you’re dumb. You knew there was always something there between you, and it certainly wasn’t one sided. But it was something unspoken, something neither of you ever put words to.

And you assumed it faded away along with your friendship.

But after hearing him say that, everything comes flooding back. All the other memories, all the feelings.

At this point you’d just marry him on the spot.

“Y/N? Are you okay?”

You clear your throat, “Yeah, I’m fine,”

“Hi fine, I’m Patton,”

You chuckle, and he laughs right along with you.

“Gosh I wish I could see you right now so I can say that back,” you sigh.

“Just a minute,” he says, abruptly ending the call.

You sit there staring at your empty screen, wondering what happened.

He doesn’t think he can literally get here in a minute, does he?

Knock. Knock.

You run to the door and open it, shocked to see Patton standing right there in front of you.

Before you can say anything, he pulls you into a tight hug.

“How did you get here so fast?” you mumble into his shoulder.

“I was thinking about you, so I wanted to see you and surprise you. I was already almost here when you called me,”

“Wow,” is all you can muster.

He lets you go, but only so he can bring his hands to the sides of your face. You look into his eyes, and there’s nothing but joy in them. No bitterness, no anger, just love.

“I love you too, by the way,” you smile, your cheeks squishing a bit against his palms.

He looks like he’s about to cry, but you’ll never know for sure.

Because his lips are on yours faster than you can ask if he’s okay again.

[livlepretre]

So what happened with the ghosts? If you want to share. 🙂

at first I thought you were asking about one of my fics and I was like ???? but now I realize you are asking me about my actual terrible time living in a haunted house in good old Dublin. 

okay. so, to begin, I’m not particularly skeptical about ghosts. New Orleans is a really haunted city and my grandfather’s house which I spent a huge amount of my childhood in was pretty haunted-- newspapers mysteriously sitting in the foyer in the morning even though the doors are all locked and the alarm is on, hearing your name being called all throughout the house and it turns out you’re there alone, a gardener who used to never go out at sunset because there was a man in a planter’s hat who would walk from the corner of the house to the pecan tree and back every night at the sun was going down-- honestly I knew A LOT of people with similar experiences growing up so I just,,,,,, accepted that ghosts were pretty much a benign part of life sometimes. (and there may have also been an incident where that same gardner pulled up an old flagstone and a woman popped out of the ground and he came inside white as a sheet, but my grandfather’s house pre-dated the civil war so it didn’t surprise anyone that it was super haunted.) 

well. when I was in college I had a JYA in Dublin, and I moved into a townhouse with a group of other Americans. something like day 3 or 4 in the townhouse, I knew for a fact I was the only one home, but I had this intense feeling standing in the upstairs hallway that there was someone standing right behind me. I can’t describe it as anything other than absolute certainty that there was another presence in the home. at the time, I was like, chill, there’s a ghost. and I went on with things and didn’t worry about it, as my own personal experiences with ghosts were pretty much that sometimes they’re just their and they’re harmless, and I kept this insight completely to myself since  I also suspected that my roommates were likely to be skeptics and I didn’t want to come off week 1 as Ghost Girl. 

Well, end of week 1, little did I know, but the gang who lived on the 3rd floor of the townhouse (I was on the 2nd) decided to make a ouija board on a lark. I have no idea where this idea came from, since I specifically did not mention the ghost to anyone... other than obviously it was on a lot of other people’s minds as well. well. they do the ouija board. the power cuts off in the middle of their fucking seance. it comes back on after a few minutes, and they decide to be done with trying to contact anything, but that night all of my roommates who were involved with the ouija board incident had.... like,,,,,, suicide fuel nightmares. like the worst most vivid nightmares they had ever had in their entire lives. 

that was also the night that the fire alarm started going off at 3 am. each floor had this old fashioned red metal bell with a mallet, and it would go off 3, 4 times a week for no reason at all... it was one of those things where at first we just chalked it up to an annoying old building. 

but there were a number of weird things that happened-- door slamming shut by themselves with no possible explanation, the fire alarm bell going off all the time, a mysterious fire that none of us could figure out, just a lot of little things that were interesting to me and which I was like ghost! I was super interested in the ghost and talked about it a lot because I was fascinated. Big mistake. 

I didn’t understand at the time that some ghosts are malevolent. I didn’t understand that there were times where it’s best to ignore the ghost and pretend it doesn’t exist rather than to talk about it where it can hear you. 

we had this big heavy mirror that hung on the wall at the top of the stairs. big sturdy thing, weighed a ton, must have been hanging there forever. 

one night I was standing under it talking to one of my roommates and the thing came off the wall and nearly landed on my head-- I was really lucky that I jumped back in time. The whole thing shattered. It probably could have killed me. I was freaked, so I went back to my bedroom, where my laptop was open and in the middle of my queen sized bed. I remember that it was in the middle specifically, because I had noticed it was sort of weirdly slipping off the edge of the bed for some reason when I had it over to the left, so I put it smack in the middle of the bed. well, I walked into the bedroom immediately after the mirror had nearly fallen on me, and honestly describing this still nearly breaks my mind. literally less than two minutes after the close call with the mirror my laptop gets hurled against the wall-- like four or five feet-- to land smashed up on the ground. 

At that point I realized that I had been talking about the ghost and it had noticed me and my only hope was to shut the fuck up right that second. 

I never talked about the ghost where the ghost could hear me again. 

Not to say there weren’t still ghost issues. The fire alarm continued to go off at the witching hour all the fucking time. There was an incident where my whole bedroom started to mysteriously v i b r a t e ??? Like, thundering. I thought that the gang was upstairs in the bedroom above mine dancing or something, but they were all on the other side of the house. (I later found out the fucking ouija board had been long-term stored directly above my bed, w o n d e r f u l ) 

There was also the time I was sitting on the floor in my friend’s room down the hall from mine, and I said to her, “why is there a pillow stuffed up your chimney???” naturally, she was like, “what the fuck” -- so, slowly, we pulled this throw pillow out from the chimney (realizing that the pillow was the one missing from the sofa upstairs??) and there, on the throw pillow, was a bird with a broken neck. 

there’s probably more that I can’t recall anymore because it’s been like a decade. I mostly remember being really afraid a lot of the time, as were like half of my roommates who were feeling similarly.... oppressed by the ghost, and being kind of helpless about it because I was a poor student and honestly that ghost wrecked me financially that semester when it wrecked my laptop so maybe it did get the upper hand at the time. idk. 

fun fact I actually met my husband because he was one of my roommates during all of this, so there were positives?? he’s a very rational person though so he just stuffed a book between the bell and the mallet on his floor so the fire alarm couldn’t torment him and ignored the ghost. 

I’ve had a couple of other ghosty experiences since then, but this is the one that stands out as the most personally harrowing. it was pretty wild to realize that some ghosts mean harm and that this one had it in for me in particular. I had a friend (actually one of my roommates who drew the fucking ouija board back in Dublin) go through something much much worse that honestly I can’t talk about, but has decently fucked me up for life just knowing about it. The funny thing is that he basically didn’t believe in the ghost back in Dublin (I think he was blacked out most of that semester though), but he reached out to me about his frankly horrific situation all because he remembered me flipping the fuck out in Dublin. 

Anyway. that’s the story of how ‘don’t talk about the ghost where the ghost can hear you’ became one of my lifelong rules to live by. 

[retroandreal]

Runaway (Sevastian x MC)

I HAPPY HUFFLEPUFF PRIDE!!! If I couldn’t get anymore Hufflepuff than I am now, IDK what else to do. @official-alex-cyprin​, help me pls… Anyway, I spent the last few days creating this fic (only 1000ish words wahh) but I ended up hitting a number of writer’s blocks for a few reasons; 

1. I love the song that inspired this and didnt want to put out something subpar 2. I suck at suspense and angst…

and 3. Why am I even a writer?

Author’s Note: This song was inspired by the song ‘Runaway’ by Eric Nam, not that I’ve already wrote fics about his songs like a million times already but I really do love his songs so much and seeing him live last year really made me love him more as an artist and a kind soul. Eric has 2 versions of this song; One in Korean and one in English (we stan a bilingual king), I based this off of the Korean lyrics.

This is basically another alternate from when our queen MC and Sevastian were so rudely interrupted during potential smexy time

“By ruling of the royal guard from the Council, Sevastian is under arrest through his crimes as the Silver Dagger”

I freeze.

No. This isn’t happening! All the work that Sevastian has done to uncover Lord Ubel’s plan… Yet, we’ve still been fooled by his treachery.

“MC… my queen” He grabs my hands in a desperate plea.

“Listen to them. Just go with them for now. I promise I will come back for you” By now, the dam of emotions has finally broken; I’m tired, no, exhausted. I haven’t been able to catch a break in this damned kingdom. All I wanted was one night. One. Single. Night. Without the need to worry about anyone except for Sevastian and I… but it seems like others have a different plan for our futures.

“Sevastian please… I can’t do this without you…”

“And for accusation of treason against the lost heir and attempted assassination you will be further exiled from Altadellys after you serve your sentence. Now, let the Queen go and come peacefully!”

Forcefully torn apart by the tips of our fingers, the royal guards lead Sevastian away, to the dungeons no doubt, in his embarrassing state of undress. I turn to one of the guards.

“Humiliation of the Winter Prince? Shouldn’t that be below the royal guards of Altadellys?” Emphasizing on the word ‘royal’ definitely hit a soft spot with the guard as she visibly flinches at my remark.

“Apologies, my queen. I must take you to your quarters. You are now under constant surveillance and will always be accompanied by the royal guard to ensure your life remains unthreatened”

I huff in disagreement and storm out of Sevastian’s room, leaving the guard to quickly catch up but still trailing behind me as I power-walk back to my room in the Spring Quarters.

The air feels cold, even in my room as I struggle to gain even a wink of sleep in my very empty bed.

My heart still races, and I toss and turn all night

Sevastian. I hope he’s holding up. I know he possesses the will to withstand whatever the council has sentenced him to. My mind drifts back to when Sevastian was an axe-head away from being publicly executed, like he hasn’t been humiliated and under constant scrutiny from the Winter Quarter and his so-called ‘father’. If only I could cuss him from my room to the depths of the cell he was thrown into after Sevastian and I exposed his own acts of treason against my crown, to play me, manipulate me to become a pawn for him to play with. I would never give in. Not when I realised the excuse of a father and uncle he has been to Lyris and his own son. Oh! And don’t even get me started on Hortensia… It’s no use. I cannot waste my time cursing out those who have done Sevastian and I wrong. I focus on him instead and his steady heart against my cheek. His touch that ignited the strongest of fires within me. He is my will to take the throne that is rightfully mine.

Really can’t sleep tonight, cause you’re on my mind and you won’t leave my mind

I should’ve gotten on Galen’s boat, and taken him with me. He told me himself he would’ve hopped on that boat with me if I asked. Because he loved me, I knew he did. He still loves me now. How long can our love continue to be tested before one of us breaks. I just want to Runaway, with Sevastian.

~~~~~

Four nights of house arrest; no sign of Sevastian. Are they feeding him? Is he even still alive? My dreams are lucid yet feel so unbelievable. That my one savior has been ripped from my grasp in a mere night. The nights pass on without a trace of Winter near me, my Winter Prince.

Nights without you leave me so lonely, and I don’t know what to do

The temperature around me is warm. Too warm. I slowly stir from my sleep, coming to a realisation that there is a looming figure hovering over my body. Hands coming closer to my face, I panic and get ready to let out a gut-wrenching scream. It was just like that night I nearly died from being drowned; silent but effective.

“Shh, shh… my love…”

The hands shift to the tangled locks of my hair that halo around my head, slowly but carefully combing out the webs that formed on my sweaty forehead. Unmistakably, Sevastian’s stormy grey eyes cut through the darkness of the room barely luminated by the sapphire moonlight’s streaks coming through the mosaic of my windows.

On a dark night, lit only by moonlight, no one’s disturbing our time together

“It is I, MC. Do not be alarmed”

A pained sob racks through me and escapes my trembling mouth. He’s here, safe.

“Oh… Sevastian!” I tightly wrap my arms around his neck, followed by my bare legs wrapping around his toned torso. The feeling of the skin-to-fabric contact barely enough to feel the familiar warmth of Sevastian pressed up against me.

“I know, my love. I’m sorry I took so long, but it is still too dangerous to roam Altadellys for me”

“Then… how did you ge-“I look towards the open trap-door on the floor. Sevastian showed me the underground network of tunnels that run underneath the castle not long ago. Only a sacred few know of these tunnels, and Sevastian trusted me with the secrecy of its presence too. I wish this night could last forever, but the royal guards are stationed not even a few paces away behind the door.

I really wish this night would last forever. Just to stay like this a little longer

“Oh… of course…”

He leans in to nuzzle my nose with his. An intimate act yet feels deathly illegal in the situation we are in at the moment. The tips of his hair ombre into the Silver Dagger’s snowy whites.

“We can run” He intertwines his fingers with mine and kisses my knuckles.

“Now, if you would still have me. My Queen.”

“Yes! Sevastian, yes! Let’s run”

We don’t waste any time gathering up the small number of belongings that I own, except for the small compact mirror crafted by Gideon. This will definitely come in handy in the near future when I continue my rise onto my rightful place at the throne. But for now, time is of the essence. Sevastian plunges himself into the darkness of the trap-door’s shaft. Holding his hand out to me, I grab it and lower myself in next to him. I’m going to Runaway, with Sevastian.

So let’s Runaway, Runaway. Where everyone else is asleep, to wherever your heart wants to be

[its-love-u-asshole]

Twelve Hours [Ch. 3]

Pairings: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei

Summary: Kuroo Tetsurou has dealt with a lot since he was eighteen, each year bringing the same depressing challenges on the same depressing night. He expects this time to be no different, but the universe is trying desperately to prove him wrong in the most bizarre ways imaginable. So screw it, Kuroo’s only choice is to buckle in and hope he doesn’t die. Easy enough. And hey, with some new allies at his side, maybe he has a chance. Who knows? At least Kuroo is sure of one thing in life when it comes to March 15th, and he stands by this unwritten law, no matter what happens:

If you try to kill pizza delivery boys on Purge Night, you’re irrevocably a bitch.

Rating: T

Tags: Purge AU, mentions of violence but nothing graphic or too bad, no character deaths here okay, this is borderline crack and idk what I was thinking, first meetings, other characters, shenanigans and just…a lot of fun (it seems angsty but its not)

Note: Woohoo I remembered to post this today lol. I’m excited for this chapter and the next because the plot is really starting to pick up, so I hope you all enjoy! Thanks to @emeraldwaves for reading this over!

AO3

The first thing Kuroo noticed about Tsukishima's home was the sheer number of books he had. The walls were lined with towering shelves, volumes upon volumes staring Kuroo down. Some were flimsy with unreadable spines, while others sparkled with an untouched gleam. He wondered how many of these the blond had actually read, or if maybe he could borrow a few sometime.

However, the books were pretty much the only personalized aspect of the home. No pictures on the walls, no posters, nothing but frames with generic stock photos of fancy cars placed in them. It didn't fit Tsukishima's vibe at all, and Kuroo squinted at the unfitting splashes of color as he peered around the home. He was satisfied to find a disorganized and impressive collection of DVDs though. Guess he's not a robot...

Not that Kuroo expected that.

"Your curiosity is burning holes in the wall," Tsukishima's voice floated from the kitchen, and Kuroo was greeted with a sight much too casual for such a grim day. Tsukishima sat atop the counter, despite the barstools nearby, munching on his second piece of pizza.

Kuroo laughed, sheepish at the thought of being watched. Where were his manners? His mother had raised him better...

"Sorry, but, I kinda don't get it," Kuroo said, gesturing to the second floor. By his count, the home had at least three bedrooms, probably spacious too. Hell, the living room was the size of his apartment. The kitchen shined from a fresh polishing, adorned with granite countertops and all the latest kitchen appliances.

It was a family's dream home. Anyone's dream home. So...

"You don't get why I'm here alone," Tsukishima stated, picking at a piece of burnt crust with his finely trimmed nails. Kuroo winced. There went any hopes for manners...

But they were kind of breaking a lot of rules already. Why not cut the crap?

"Uh, is the rest of your family...hiding?" Kuroo asked. And if so, why weren't you?

"I live here by myself, no one's hiding, no one's out of town. It's just me." Tsukishima took a bite of his pizza, staring resolutely at the dark wood floor.

Kuroo wondered if he should change the topic. It wasn't his business to pry, and if Tsukishima wasn't going to willingly offer up more information then--

"My parents and brother used to live here, but they moved away when the Purge started," Tsukishima said, shrugging. Noting Kuroo’s intense stare, Tsukishima squinted, debating on how many personal facts to give away. In the end, he must’ve decided he didn’t care. "I think mom and dad still live in Japan, but my brother and I don't talk to them anymore. Things...went sour."

Oh.

Kuroo didn't have anything to say to that, for fear that he'd end up word vomiting questions at the blond. He'd always been a bit of a gossip, unable to resist knowing every little thing he could. This felt calmer somehow, less urgent. His curiosity was still present, but he figured Tsukishima would give him the answers on his own.

Kuroo could play it cool, one small question at a time.

"It's a beautiful house," Kuroo told him, chuckling at the way Tsukishima frowned to himself. Or maybe not. Homes were only as good as the memories made in them. "What about your brother?"

Caught off guard by the mundane question, Tsukishima sat up, finally blessing Kuroo with a glimpse of those bewitching eyes. Much better.

Hopefully Kuroo hadn't stepped on a landmine.

"...Europe," Tsukishima answered after a beat of silence, his shoulders relaxing. Kuroo took the opportunity to cross the gap, taking a seat in one of the barstools next to where Tsukishima perched. "There's a good hospital there he likes, and his wife is there. Since he's in a wheelchair now, he needs all the peace he can get."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Kuroo said, biting his tongue.

"Don't be," Tsukishima said, his smile soft, directed in the distance. "He's happy there. No more Purge, no more problems."

"Ah, I love that song!" Kuroo exclaimed, helping himself to pizza. After all, he'd risked his life to deliver it. He was entitled to a slice.

Plus, it helped to keep his mouth shut. Tsukishima rolled his eyes, but the smile didn't fade, and they ate in comfortable silence.

Kuroo kept looking around the house, his enthusiasm falling from seeing the bare walls, the lack of possessions. If Tsukishima's family no longer lived here, the rooms must've been empty too...

The poetic, nerdy side of him wanted to make some metaphor to the Purge, but he didn't have it in him. When the night was over, maybe he'd come back and help Tsukishima paint a wall or two.

Also to nag him, because wow.

"I don't care what you say, living in this huge house all alone makes you the biggest target," Kuroo said, gesturing wildly to the large space. Tsukishima's rottweilers raised their heads at the sound, before deciding they didn't care enough to rise from their beds. "How are you not dead yet?"

"I told you, I'm prepared." Tsukishima waved his hand at nothing in particular, not at all quelling Kuroo's anxiety. "Not just the dogs, or the metal detector. There's cameras, there's weapons...and other things I’m not going to disclose to a stranger. Relax. Besides, it's a wasteland out here, nothing has happened since year one."

Huh, that was interesting. But Kuroo supposed rich people would try anything once.

"Oh? What makes you think it won't happen again," Kuroo said, chewing on his second slice. He glanced around the home suspiciously, wondering where Tsukishima hid the weapons. Surely, there must be some downstairs in the event of an attack.

Tsukishima went quiet, and the silence settled in the air like lead, weighing it down. Kuroo turned back to see the blond staring at him impassively, but with eyes that screamed a thousand words. "Because the perpetrators are gone. I told you, my parents moved away, didn't I?"

It made Kuroo nearly choke from swallowing too fast, the chill of the words shocking him into newfound sorrow.

Guess avoiding landmines wasn't his forte in the end.

"I'm, I didn't mean--"

"I know, I don't mind," Tsukishima said, carrying on like nothing was wrong. Worrisome. But Kuroo knew better than to trust Tsukishima’s facade, because that was a play straight out of his own book. "It happened a long time ago. We're safe now."

Kuroo didn't know if he was referring to themselves or Tsukishima and his brother, but either way, he accepted it.

And anyways, it wasn't his turn to ask a question now.

"No offense, but I never expected you to be delivering pizzas on Purge night," Tsukishima said a minute later, not sorry at all. "You were top of the class. At the start, anyways. I expected you to be a lawyer or an accountant. Although, your hair kinda ruins the image."

Oh, so you've got jokes now.

Kuroo poked Tsukishima's thigh enough to make him jump. Little shit. "Hey, this hair is a winner. And I've got time. I'm trying to make a little extra money is all."

He didn't go into his crippling doubts and unrealized dreams, or the fact that the year in question was the last time he'd been top of the class ever, but the blond didn’t have to know that.

"You must be desperate then," Tsukishima said with a smug smile, though it was ruined by the red stain of pizza sauce. It was less desperation and more...something Kuroo wouldn't think about, mostly because he wasn't 100% sure.

"Says the one who would try to fend off an attack by themselves," Kuroo shot back. "Well, and with the boys over there."

The rottweilers 'boofed' at the attention, but otherwise, they stayed put. At least they'd probably defend their master to the end.

"You don't know anything about how I purge." Tsukishima hopped off the counter, disposing of his trash in one of the bins. Kuroo followed suit, but didn't take his eyes off the blond. The subject was...a dicey one, but...

"You purge?"

Just the inquiry itself made Kuroo sick. He wanted to like Tsukishima, already did, but...Kuroo hated the Purge, hated anyone who thought it was okay. It brought nothing but strife and death, and he didn't care if people were working out excess energy or desires, they were part of the issue. Kuroo never purged willingly unless it was self-defense.

He watched Tsukishima as he walked over to one of the shitty car paintings, his nose scrunching up at the gaudy orange color. Yeah, same.

"Once, only once," Tsukishima said after an eternity. His voice was barely audible despite the emptiness of the home, but Kuroo was determined to hear every word. "I don't...I didn't want to. I wouldn't do it again."

Tsukishima turned away, facing the wall, but Kuroo could hear the guilt, saw how his shoulders tensed up. The relief was back, along with the new need to comfort the blond in any way, shape, or form.

"The first year?" Kuroo asked, assuming. After all...if that was when his parents...yeah.

Tsukishima shook his head. "Year two."

And well, Kuroo could tell the conversation was over after that.

--

They ended up watching Jeopardy reruns, and for the first time in a while, Kuroo felt smart.

"I don't understand how you possibly know this much about chemistry and math formulas," Tsukishima said, digging a spoon into a tub of ice cream. Kuroo noticed the other hadn't stopped eating the whole time he'd been there. Maybe it was a nervous tick...a Purge ritual, in his own way.

But yeah, Kuroo was kicking ass.

"Guess my brain remembers more than I thought," he said triumphantly. "You smashed the romantic literature category too, so I had to fight back."

Now all the books made so much sense...

"Also," Kuroo began, eyeing Tsukishima with fake suspicion. "Should I be concerned about how well you answered the 'you call that a knife' category?"

And he at last managed to get a full, genuine laugh out of Tsukishima. Much better than the gunshots and explosions outside.

"I told you, I'm prepared," Tsukishima said with a hum, scooping at the last bite of cookie dough ice cream. Kuroo followed the way his lips pressed against the spoon, suddenly craving the sweetness himself.

A few seconds passed however, and Tsukishima's neutral frown had returned, bleak as ever. It didn't matter what they did, Kuroo could tell the guilt from earlier had remained in Tsukishima's mind, as well as the reminder that it was the worst night of the year. Kuroo may not have known anything about Tsukishima’s own experience with it, but he wanted to help.

Even if it meant bringing up things he wanted to forget.

Ironically enough, the new category on screen was 'live long.'

Ha. He could dream.

"You know, it's okay if you've hurt people," Kuroo said. "I think we all have. Don't get me wrong, I hate the Purge, but sometimes you can't avoid it."

He let the words sit in the air, hoping they didn't anger Tsukishima. Kuroo wasn't trying to baby him or anything, it was how he truly felt about the situation. It pissed him off, but it wasn't totally useless advice.

This might've been too much for two strangers. We're not exactly strangers though, right?

Kuroo didn't want to be.

A few seconds later, he heard Tsukishima exhale, as if he hadn't breathed in hours. "I know. I don't regret what I did. More that I had to do it at all."

Yeah, if that wasn't a mood. Kuroo could've done so much more with his life if he'd just been free of this stupid holiday. It forced him into corners and boxes, ones he'd rather not inhabit. He understood. Regardless, he couldn't shake the intensity of Tsukishima's secret, if it could be called that...

So, he did what he did best. He asked.

"What did you do? If you don't mind me asking," Kuroo said, voice dropping to a whisper. Oof, alright, coulda done that better. It made him sound like he would cut and run at any moment.

Sensing their master's tension, Tsukishima's dogs hopped onto the couch, nuzzling them both. Kuroo needed to look into a therapy dog himself. Tsukishima smiled as he massaged one of the dogs’ heads, mulling over his answer while Kuroo tried to remember how to breathe.

"Nothing like murder, sorry to disappoint you," Tsukishima revealed. Disappoint? That's the biggest relief in the world. The air blew out of him, and Tsukishima snorted, but fuck it, Kuroo didn't have time to be embarrassed.

"I robbed someone. Someones. And it was a lot of money," Tsukishima said. "My brother needed surgery, I needed a way to get away from mom and dad. Back then, it made sense. Now I'm not sure, but it's done."

It was like he’d read it from a book or something, emotion detached, but Kuroo figured that was another form of coping. Tsukishima glared at the television, burying his face in the nearest pillow. He huddled in on himself, the sign of reservation and hesitance. Not used to sharing then huh...

Kuroo guessed he was the same. No one really talked about the Purge. The last time he'd brought it up had been.... he couldn't remember.

Wow.

Sighing to himself, Kuroo smiled, because there didn't seem to be a proper expression for such a feeling. But Tsukishima, who didn't give off the most open of vibes, had opened up to him. So, he was happy. As happy as he could be.

"Thank you," Kuroo said, smile growing at the sudden shock on Tsukishima's face. The blond turned so fast it had probably hurt his neck. "For telling me I mean! I don't think you should feel bad though, at least you did it for the right reasons. That's more than most can say."

Seriously...

Not that most others would care. Kuroo allowed himself to indulge in the small fantasy he'd created in Tsukishima's home though. That it was a normal, quiet night, and they were just hanging out. The weight of his weapons blurred the illusion a bit, but it would have to do.

Tsukishima stared at him, eyes glimmering, until he slowly nodded and turned away.

Kuroo watched the reflection of the bright blue Jeopardy screen bounce off the contours of Tsukishima's face as he sat, the cogs in his mind clearly working.

Tsukishima never seemed to stop thinking. Kuroo knew firsthand how it was as much a curse as a blessing.

But eventually, Tsukishima must've reached a conclusion. And oh, what a conclusion it was.

"You're kind of a disaster," the blond said a moment later, and Kuroo laughed so loud it concerned him. If a murderer had been in the house, they'd have been found in no time.

Well then. Here I was, trying to be nice....

"Oh? Never heard it said that easily before," Kuroo said, in between breathless gasps. "I was only trying to help."

"I wasn't finished," Tsukishima said, but his smirk told Kuroo the pause had been deliberate. Bringing his legs down from his chest, Tsukishima turned towards Kuroo, inviting, and Kuroo mirrored him. "You're a disaster, but..."

Kuroo arched a brow, intrigued by the light blush on Tsukishima's face that the television's glow couldn't hide.

Tsukishima sighed. "I guess, I wish I had talked to you sooner."

It took a moment for Kuroo to understand, but when he did, he felt the guilt creep up again. This time he wouldn't forget Tsukishima.

Yeah, me too.

And with any luck, he'd leave a good impression.

Smiling at each other, the moment seemed too perfect. Like some missing piece, Kuroo had at last reconnected with someone he didn't know he'd lost track of. It stumped him, but he felt like pieces remained missing, like he'd overlooked some things. They both had.

They could figure it out another time. For now, Kuroo wanted to sit in this moment, and pretend he didn't ever have to leave.

But, such was wishful thinking.

A crash rattled the whole house, breaking the moment like glass, and the alarms in his head began to sound like war sirens. Tsukishima reacted instantly, no time for shock. They were off the couch just like that, and Tsukishima's dogs were peeling off in the direction of the crash.

It didn't take much organization after that. There was no time for any other thought except survival. He exchanged a look with Tsukishima, and the blond nodded, wasting no time in pulling up the floorboards below them.

Oh, so that's where he hid them. Clever.

He'd admire later.

He took the machete handed to him, his mind racing with escape routes and strategies. He wondered what the best course of action was, if people could be waiting outside, how fast they could get to his car, everything.

Tsukishima's choice of weapon managed to break him out of his Terminator Mode™ because what the fuck is that?

"Is that a fucking flamethrower? That's not an authorized weapon," Kuroo sputtered, earning him a scathing glare as Tsukishima picked up the heavy artillery with ease.

Tsukishima paused, giving Kuroo a look that was equal parts hot and infuriating. "What are you a boy scout now? If I'm trying not to die, I'm going to use whatever the fuck I want."

"That violates so many laws."

"This whole night violates laws, like my right to living," Tsukishima said, standing up and marching in the direction of the crash, no signs of escaping. And uh....yeah, Kuroo couldn't argue with that. He followed Tsukishima, watching his back, and despite the tension he could hear the blond's irritated mumbling.

"The first night in over four years...coming into my damn house...it's the shittiest house on the block..."

If Kuroo had not been in full battle mode, he might've found it cute, but they had more pressing matters.

Like the huge hole where one of Tsukishima's bay windows used to be.

"Oh shit," Kuroo said, his footsteps slowing as they entered the room. He moved to face the hallway, in the event someone had already snuck in, which was more than likely considering the new entrance. The window, which had taken up a good half of the wall, had been obliterated, leaving chunks of glass littered around the hardwood, and on the grass outside. From where they stood, Kuroo could see the rest of the cul-de-sac, leaving them completely exposed. Fuck.

Okay, so he took back what he’d said about the flamethrower.

"That was bullet proof glass...how," Tsukishima mumbled, eyeing the shards on the floor with disbelief. It was then they both noticed the tire marks leading into the home, the black streaks staining the floor.

Not car proof though.

The fact someone was crazy enough to ram the side of the house with a car made Kuroo all the more worried. They were committed. Kuroo didn't dare walk outside to see if a car was there though, he wasn't that stupid.

The room had been barren aside from some dusty boxes, the remnants of what used to be a formal family dining room.

As if reading Kuroo's mind, Tsukishima huffed humorlessly. "At least this room's not important."

"We should get to my car," Kuroo whispered, and Tsukishima thankfully agreed. As equipped as they were, a fight wasn't preferred. Regardless of if no one had gotten inside, now anyone could. There were nine hours left in the Purge, and Kuroo didn't want to tempt fate.

"Let's go," Tsukishima said, forgoing any shoes as the reality of their situation set in.

If only they'd left right away.

"Wait," Tsukishima said, eyes darting down the hallway. "Where are my dogs?"

They both froze, listening for any barks or the patter of paws on wood. Nothing. In fact, with horror, they both realized they hadn’t heard anything in several minutes.

Silence meant death on a night like tonight.

Oh no.

"Don't worry," a voice said, coming from the direction of the garage just around the corner. And in that brief second, Kuroo knew they'd lost. He caught Tsukishima’s frustrated expression as the blond closed his eyes, cursing their foolishness.

"I took care of them for you," the voice continued, and Tsukishima stepped in front of Kuroo with trembling shoulders. Not from fear, but pure, limitless anger.

He may have hated this house, but goddammit, it was still his house. The notion became crystal clear to Kuroo, given how Tsukishima was prepared to take the first shot.

The garage door opened, and they both tightened their holds on the weapons. They were exposed from three angles now. The garage, the front of the house, and the side. Kuroo only hoped no one had snuck into the living room. The garage, and his car along with it, were now non-options. It would take a miracle now, or in less naive terms, it would probably take Tsukishima's damn flamethrower.

Kuroo definitely took back what he said earlier.

Either way, his chances of making it out alive now were slim, but hey? The night hadn't been as awful as he would've thought.

If anything, Kuroo was glad Tsukishima didn't have to face this alone, that he'd decided to stay.

He needed more time to come to terms with the rest of his regrets, but he wasn't given that luxury, because the next thing he knew, a group of masked men flooded the hallway, guns armed and ready.

[talesfromacrip]

more ehh thoughts (recent edition):

w o w

can’t even speak my damn mind anymore in this house I guess without getting the whole, ‘get out then if you don’t like it here. look for a section 8 place and blah, blahhhh’ speech.

the signature speech of my parents when I get on their ‘last nerves’..

all just for speaking my mind. lovely

all bc I said something in regards to something political my dad was talking about. then saying black lives matter after bc it was also apart of the conversation

(which is my opinion)

that word doesn’t sit well in my parents ears.. my dad to be specific apparently.

he then started saying I should just look for somewhere else to go and that if I say that again, something will happen. (not anything violent on me,but make me leave to somewhere else type of happen )

guess my parents (specifically my dad) wants me dead if he wants me to go out and find somewhere else to go. it’s not like, idk, i have a fucking immunocompromised system or anything like that ya know?? also.... during a fucking pandemic as well ?? helllloooo, old man?? i just don’t know anymore sometimes with my parents

caught me off guard a bit and hurt really fucking bad.. like, wow. if that’s how you feel, then let me go which you won’t and won’t admit.

used to it though which is silly to say, but I can’t do anything much about it even if i tried. so, I must deal for now anyway I can.

we settled our differences though which, I’m glad, but I hate that I was the first one to do it. shows how it is in my family at times

-

at least my mom and few friends are on my side. ridiculous to be treated like this for having a fucking opinion.  

doesn’t help either to get teased about it. like I haven’t been most of my life already ya know, shit.

sick of this house sometimes. the people in it, I should say.. sigh

———

———

I feel like I’m not, as ‘feminine’ as a lady should be. adds to my existing body probsss

can’t put makeup on. can’t get my nails done. can’t use bath bombs. can’t use facial creams or certain acne products. can’t buy clothes I’d like to shape my body and whatnot.. it goes onnnn. I would like to do what a lady likes to feel/look her absolute best ya know.

I can’t though. trying?????which doesn’t really go anywhere much tbh

I have an unused makeup palette and lippies going to absolute waste in my drawer.

which, cost me gooood money bc gooood brand. treat myself.

to see it go to waste though,is heartbreaking...

I could be using it now during the pandemic,but I have no one to help me with it. I can’t do it myself with my fucked up arms/hands either so that’s a nope.

my mom won’t help me and I’ve asked. she has more important things to do than make me look like a little clowns spawn.

I have so many ideas and I can’t execute them as I’d like. never can and it hurts. maybe on a drawimg, but having it applied to your face is a much better experience. very relaxing as well,but to take off.. that’s a process

doesn’t help that I’m told I’d look better with it as well, which totally helps my self esteem ya know. "it suits your moon face and covers those acne bits.."

fucking hell.. like, let me be.

guess not though it seems :lllllll

-

I feel gross about my skin.. dry and flaky at times from my medication and bc my body is a lil ass. it’s fucking oily on occasions as well.. ughhh. a whole nightmare, in my opinion

small acne scars,pimples from an imbalanced body in miscellaneous spots and places where they shouldn’t be.. I hate it.

I cannot look at myself without wanting to scream sometimes. I just stare and flip through a plethora of thoughts until I’m sitting there watching myself cry

I can’t buy the right skin products without suffering a break out or some kind of allergic reaction either. that’s how ‘sensitive’ i am.. ughh and people think it’s sooo fucking easy to take care of your skin.

help me out then and do it for me instead of telling me when I’ve said why I couldn’t in the first place..

fucking shit

-

I use to do my nails and paint them different colors almost every other week or so when I was younger. that was when I could move them to a certain extent. now i just can’t much for that. maybe?but I don’t want to risk twisting my wrist again. which, oddly helped a bit, but I’m not risking it

can’t even paint my right hand without leaning into a terrible spine position bc of my curled in fingers. it’s "so easy" though.my big ass it is

so, I just leave them bare nowadays

I have chipped and or broken nails anyway from fidgeting and anxiety. so, that’ll get in the way when they’re colored

sigh

-

bath bombs are the most elegant form of hygienic self care. a bubbly concoction for your skin to dip in.. ughhhh. sounds so relaxing and funnn

can’t sit in a fucking tub though to enjoy it and I don’t have the walk in ones. just a plain walk in shower. every time I see someone post about them, I melt inside. so pretty with the glitter fragments and the colorsss...mm

how I wish I could endure a porcelain tub to soak and forget about the world for a moment.

I can dream, but that still hurts as well.

-

I used to wear slim fitting tops for my stomach bc I was one of the chubby ones ya know.

now, I want to use them more bc my body doesn’t look how I thought it would be at my age. due to medication and lack of movement, just made it worse and it’s not my fault. feels like it is though and I tried. still am and it’s been hard lately with the pandemic. massive buying spells again so, some healthy goods are not available.

apparently though it seems nowadays being ‘thicc’ is in when years before it was absolutely frowned upon.

I got teased for being ‘thicc’ and now I’m somewhat getting praised for it?? kinda weird circus did I buy tickets for? unless I didn’t??

like, what do y’all mean, now it’s in????? stop being such a rude wad of shit and quit playing with people like this.

I don’t know what to accept much anymore and it’s bothers me so damn much

even if you do get praised,you must meet the standards. with some that is, I should say. must be at least some sort of skinny. some sort of, shaped being that I don’t really want to explain bc I feel it’s obvious.

some disabled folks are almost never in this section and when so, seems very fetishized.

hopefully this paints a small picture or whatever size you prefer your canvas to be. I’ve already talked about my body and more like this just gets me upset

———

———

uggh why are people still making stupid party plans, going to crowded places and doing other irresponsible shit... during a fucking pandemic?? It’s literally s o fucking irritating.

these people do not grasp this it seems, but ooooooohhh. gotta go out and risk it for someone who doesn’t even care about my health,others and even themselves.

fucking dumb

-

funny to see them complain about being home and all bc of this. like, how do you think I’ve felt and countless other disabled folks like me? sucks h u h. no freedom to go anywhere for risk of a fucking accident or worse, d e a t h.

it’s easy as hell to stay home and keep yourself occupied but apparently it’s a big ass deal

read, write, draw, cook, c l e a n. go out in your, idk, backyard as your outside relief?? is it really that b a d of a need to go somewhere??

especially when eventually it’ll drain you and you’ll eventually go back h o m e anyway ??t’s ridiculous.

"you should be thankful you can even go out."

yeah, to appointments, groceries, and concerts o n l y.

I don’t have the fucking privilege to go out at my own leisure and when I do, I have to plan like a mf.

it’s not easy. can’t drive. van is always busting on us. parents are my only source of a ride. can’t even generally go out anywhere bc of stupid stairs and all that.

I swear. every time I see a friend, mutual or family put something like that.. irritates me. I wanna comment so bad,but I don’t want to start anymore drama.

maybe soon I will. who fucking knows

———

———

i miss shows and all, but I just don’t as much.

I’m paranoid to think of going to future ones now..

I’ve already missed a majority of concerts my whole childhood and teen years due to my disability.

I don’t want to miss out on my young adult life now that I’m somewhat in a ‘better state’ bc some of y’all don’t want to be cautious and follow rules.

shows are therapeutic for me, but idk anymore now if it’s makimg me like this

disabled folks like myself who enjoy these shows are in so much fucking danger, it’s ridiculous.

we already were anyways with moshing and all.. which I know some act like they don’t know.

y’all are so desperate to go like, what about the other fandom folks who can’t even attend these shows though?? sad

these lives performances some artists have been doing are perfect and we need to support them more with this format. encourage the fuck out of them like the do to us with their music and whatnot.

I was so fucking thankful DGD did one.

it was a great time, but not so great when everyone is like, but what about an ‘actual show’?

it’s just, never enough with some of the fans I swear. irritating

yeahhh ,lets risk the fuckin band/bands getting sick so they can play for us. yasssss. shows how much they read up on the members and care about their health/wellbeing.

———

———

being sober brings back a lot of suppressed memories. nights are bit hard when going through this

makes me remember quite a bit of conversations that others have probably or most likely have forgotten by now as well

irritating and sad. that’s how I get some of my dreams as well which cause lack of sleep at timessss y a y

———

———

I, over share too much at times it seems.. how the hell do people want to know me though????

if I’m making the situation, odd or whatever, fucking tell me instead of ignoring it and trying to move on with some stupid shit

if I can fucking sit through y’alls oversharing.. can with fucking mine

———

———

I hate how everything that’s so wholesome and genuine I see, I can barely even do and say..

I especially hate how I imagine it with someone who deserves better. this is wearing me out I swear to fucking god

I put some of my eggs in the wrong basket.. again

ohhh fucking boooyyy

least it’s a good basket..

———

sometimes I feel so uneducated when taking with friends. my mind is like a fucking mad libs book on new game plus.

it’s blanks out and replaces important vocabulary with some silly childish shit instead

[briteboy]

using the new tag “sunny answers” for these anon ask compilations as per request of an anon who actually enjoys going through these posts! this one’s 4 u bb 💕

omg there’s a lot of questions here, more than i thought there’d be. rando story stuff, leftovers from the Trans Fiasco (and no i will 100% NOT be answering anymore questions about it after this, aside from the non-anons who already messaged me about it), and some astrology questions towards the end! enjoy

I seriously love & understand santi's mind but at the same time I feel so bad for Lou (I love her more ok) and I just wanna hug her and grant all her wishes and fill her void and give her 9999 amazing lovers Idk SANTI Y U LIKE THIS hahahaha ok sorry your story is my bible basically. Other than Ramona to live for Lou needs someone that stays LOU NEEDS HAPPINESS!!!!!

9999 AMAZING LOVERS LMAO will u be the 10,000th tho...that is the question. i think we all relate to santi, so much in fact that his actions are infuriating because it’s like WHYYY but then i’m like oh wait i do dumb shit too when i’m sad/in pain. he still dumb tho she does need happiness, and hopefully she will find it in this story ;__;

I'm so hyped for everything happening w your sims omg! Like I'm so so excited about Lou's story and her family (which I sent asks about before btw so that tells you) and I'm so excited about Rooney and Gianni and bby Ramona going to Japan (which is literally my fav country so my love for you and your blog just deepens with every second) and Santi just getting better somewhere (where? We don't know. And I think that's the beauty of it) I just ugh. Love your blog

OMGGGG AHHHDSGJHD THIS EXCITES ME SO MUCH THANK YOOOOUUUU I’M EXCITED THAT YOU’RE EXCITED!!! i hope you enjoyed her family reveal today, there is much to still divulge in that area so strap the f*ck in. i have a really clear vision of what i want their japan experience to look like and hopefully it translates into the sims!! who freaking knows tho. i’m glad you’re looking forward to it either way. and yeah who tf knows where santi is right now. “going home” my ASS!! but yeah it is all beautiful in a way ;-; thank you so much my love for u deepens every second i reread this message, you’re so sweet ;__;

(TFB anon again aaaa) OKAY SO i could be wrong because you know him much better than i do obvioisly, but Grand Finale from the new album is giving me some santi vibes rn MMMMMM

HEY!!! i finally listened to the album and honestly...idk how i feel about it BUT i actually did like grand finale, and now that i’m listening to it again i can definitely sense the santi vibes!! (he has been listening to it nonstop since it came out ok) i love that u thought of him ;__; 

I got a retail job two weeks ago. And I hate it. I keep telling myself it’ll get better and then it just gets worse. It’s my first job and I just don’t know what to do. Any advice?

oh god. i don’t wanna be a downer but i don’t have much advice for this, retail SUUUUCKS. working in retail opens your eyes to just how stupid, helpless and annoying people can be. it’s not pretty. it CAN get better if you have coworkers you genuinely enjoy spending time with, who can lessen the burden of your responsibilities. joking around can help a lot, so if you’re not friends with them already, try to be!! just talk to them and i’m sure a relationship will grow. also remember it’s not the end of the world if this job doesn’t work out for you. you can find a new one, and you probably will at some point in the future. i’m gonna point you towards @essiesims because she works in retail so she probably has some words of wisdom for you...hopefully...be nice essie

I just realized my new haircut looks exactly like Fiona's hair and I'm 10x happier with it

GOOD!!! i love her hair, mine is sort of like it right now, messy and short lmao. if bby fiona makes you feel more confident by all means OWN dat haircut, you’re sexi

Can I ask if you watch Dan Howell? Bc his new video about his depression actually broke me and I need someone to hug

no i don’t but i googled him and my first thought was “OHH that’s the dan guy who’s gay with phil or whatever” i honestly don’t know who they are but i’ve seen a lot of gifs of them. i’m sorry his vid made you sad :{ U CAN HUG ME I’M ALWAYS HERE FOR U

I just wanted to let you know that I think you're absolutely amazing, and so creative, and your stories are beautiful. I have loved everything you've created, and you're sims are all so beautiful, and the stories are so heart-wrenching, and so well written, and I'm just so absolutely obsessed. I have your notifications on, and I get so excited every time I see you've posted something. :D Keep working hard, and be happy :)

omg ;____________; thank you so soso much ur gonna make me CRY i create everything for myself, but it makes it all feel 1000x more worth it to know it’s affected you this way and you’re enjoying it so much. my heart hurts in the best way. the fact that you have your NOTIFS ON FOR ME OMG i’m so sorry that i probably spam you so much with random asks and stuff. you’re probably like “when will this b*tch shut up” lmfao no but really this is so kind and sweet and it makes me feel warm inside, thank you so much <333

Can I get a link to your story in Chrono order? I'm on my phone and I'm not quite sure how to do it on here ^^'

here u go, or if you can’t click on it, copy and paste this: http://femmesim.tumblr.com/tagged/story/chrono as a general rule, you can go to any tag and add “/chrono” (no quotation marks) at the end and it’ll take you to the beginning.

hi femme! im sorry this is from older posts but how did you get ramona to look the way she did as a baby? thanks in advance!

hello i explained that here!

DEMI GIRL REPRESENTATION YES ILY

HELL YEAH ILY TOOOO

But if you were cisphobic you have a phobia of like a veeeery big part of the population o.o??? Still don't understand that ist even a thing

true! the reason cis people hold the must power in this equation is due large in part to the fact that they are a huge part of the population. so yeah it’s definitely not a thing.

What's cisgender??? Never heard of that

me neither tbh (but if ur not being sarcastic, here)

I love you sunny. Just so you know

Hey Sunny I love you 💕

HEY I LOVE YOU TOOOOO (you both sent this during the Trans Fiasco, and i fully appreciate your kindness in that bleak time)

yikes that anon was obnoxious as hell

this was also during the Trans Fiasco and yeah u right!

What mod do you use to make your sims taller? 😊

this one!

mom why does love hurt so much 😥

no one knows mi childe but i am here for u

^^ me goin after whoever hurt u

I literally just had such a bad nightmare I woke up, scared myself when I tried to reach for my phone and instead accidentally groped my poodle; which resulted in a panic attack. It’s 5am. Please help. I can obviously not take care of myself

GROPED YOUR POODLE OHMDFHOGODFSG I’M SO SORRY POODLE that sucks tho i’m so sorry about the nightmare and the poodle and the panic attack and EVERYTHING, that’s not fun :{ hopefully you got some rest and calmed down since you sent this. if not come to my house we can have a sleepover i will take care of u

I also have a large bra size (32H) and I'm still young so it's still growing.

OH WOOW ARE U OKAY BECAUSE I HAVE A DIFFICULT ENOUGH TIME HAVING DD’S

@that anon - not all trans ppl even experience dysphasia just admit Defeat

right! i think u meant dysphoria tho. maybe. unless you’re talking about something i don’t know about. but yeah you’re right, every trans person is different. a lot of them do want to change things about themselves, but not all.

hey im goin through an assholes blog and reblogging their posts with confusing internet funnyman comments, saw hate for your blog and decided to send you some support. keep doing what you love with your characters and content ❤❤ -♌🌿

LMAO HEY LEO LEAF were u going through that rando dude’s blog when the Trans Fiasco was happening? because there was some super weird ass blog dedicated to reblogging posts from nonbinary folks and people talking about nonbinary shit and just telling them they’re wrong and transphobic for not believing in the gender binary lmao...so anyways...if that’s not what ur talking about tho i’m sorry i just filled ur ears with that nonsense anyway thank you for this message, it’s so sweet ;__; sorry i didn’t answer it right away, i was recovering from the amount of ugly anons i was getting lmao. thank you for supporting me, ily <333

More Avey pls she's the light of my life

ASDFJHHJKSD SHE WILL APPEAR MUCH MORE JUST TO MAKE THE TROLLS MAD OKAY I LOVE U 💕💕

If another dumbass anon messages you about some silly shit regarding transgenders I’m going to scream. No. Not every trans person wants to transition physically— and no they don’t all want to stereotypical versions of whatever gender they identify with. I know a trans-male that wears makeup and twirls in dresses, and I know a trans-female that loves being a butch lesbian. Personally. I am glad that you’ve chosen to go the route that you have with your character. Fuck the ditsy assholes.

HEY I LOVE YOU AND THIS MESSAGE SO MUCH THANK YOU <33333 ur right, fuck them, they’re ugly anyway

Hey so I'm not like these other anons, I'm asking this as someone has next to no experience with trans people and actually wants to be educated instead of attack you. So if there are some trans people who don't transition and are comfortable with how they look, what exactly makes them uncomfortable with their birth gender?

a number of things, mainly just their discomfort with the category they’ve automatically been placed in from birth. but that doesn’t necessarily mean they want to change their body or dress a certain way.

I just wanna applaud you for handling the anons so calmly because I know for certain if they sent me that shit, my trans ass would have acted differently.

LMFAO omg i’m glad you thought i was being calm because i was like “well i guess it’s time to let out my bitchy side” thank you tho, i’m grateful you understand <3

I'm so sorry that Nonnie was such an ass! I wish we had more people speaking up and saying it loud like you did! It was pretty obvious that person has issues that a Tumblr post won't fix but it was nice to see you put them in there place :)

lmao yeah, after a few questions from them i figured it was just pointless. people like that don’t learn even if you’re trying to explain it to them calmly. they just always want to be right by alienating others, and they don’t even realize what they’re doing most of the time. it’s sad really, but i tried my best (and also tried my best not to unleash all my rage lmao) thank you <3

how can Ramona be sooo cute as a toddler?? like how? whats the secret

vitamins

lmao but really IDK i experimented a lot with her face at first and making a custom skin for her definitely helped too. :~}

/post/166031605558/the-pros-cons-of-dating-my-sim-ciarasia *gives Fiona a Beetlejuice & Ghostbusters and a Dexter dolls and stuffed animals and dolls verisons* I like Fiona I think we could get along with each other *gives Lou her fav kind of band shirts and starts counting her freckles* I don't think I'm gonna go mad trying to count

THIS IS SO SWEET AFKJDSKJNGJKLDLGD YOU’RE THEIR SOULMATE i’m gonna write u into the story now u made it

 I know a girl with heterochromia and she also has two different ear shapes. Sometimes I feel like she was meant to be a twin but she absorbed the other one lol. I feel like a weirdo sorry bye.

UR NOT A WEIRDO!!! omg that is funny tho, and very interesting. i wonder if a lot of ppl with heterochromia eyes are like that, with other two different body parts. i’m the twin she absorbed

if you're still doing astrology posts, I'm a Sun-Aries, Moon-Leo and Rising- Scorpio! I'm slowly getting into astrology but i still don't know what that means lol

OOOH SPICY flaming hot cheetos

aries + scorpio are both ruled by mars and then leo is ruled by the sun so holy heck you are probably WAY OUT THERE and by that i mean super outgoing probably, but maybe your scorp rising makes you a bit withdrawn and secretive, so people have to get close to you before they really see you come out. leo moon is one of my favorite placements because it’s so weird, but often i find leo moons can be even more exuberant than leo suns. you probably have a flair for dramatics and love attention even though you might deny it. you really march to the beat of your own drum, but be careful not to be condescending to others about it!!

oh my god all of this astrology stuff is so interesting! idk if you're still doing them, but if you are i'd love to hear about mine: virgo sun, scorpio moon and scorpio rising :) it's totally okay if you're sick of doing these and i'm in no rush to get an answer!

oooooh my mom and beyonce both have virgo sun/scorp moon combos. that’s how u know it’s a good one even tho it seems scary. i find that virgos often have the potential to be very in charge and domineering, but a lot of them bury that potential because they don’t realize they have it inside themselves, and so they let people walk all over them. especially with a scorpio moon, you crave intensity in all forms: through your emotions, relationships, deepest, darkest thoughts, you feel them so powerfully that sometimes it’s too scary and overwhelming for you. learn to trust in that instead of being scared and you will open a new door in your life, especially in combination with your virgo sun, whose inclination is to learn new things and get to the bottom of every mystery. with a scorpio moon AND rising, you are actually that mystery. you might spend a lot of time trying to figure out yourself, but don’t get too introspective because that leads to overthinking and self deprecation.

hey yo i don't need you to do the thing but I'd just like to inform you that i'm a pisces sun leo moon...which is the strangest combo but totally makes sense for my personality. i don't know what any of the other stuff is lmao. but i got a book on astrology so i'm going to learn

OMG i love that combo...it is really weird but somehow the two suit each other. lou and my bff are actually leo sun/pisces moons (so opposite from you lmao, but that’s the reason i like those signs together!) leos have a very active imaginations and pisces just exacerbates that. i feel like in terms of boldness and outgoing nature, it could go either way for you. since pisces suns are usually more understated and quiet, that could fit you. but i often find that leo moons with literally any other placements will make you quite outgoing, sometimes obnoxious. so maybe you flip flop between shyness and outgoingness, especially since pisces focuses on adaptability anyway. 

omg yay yes learn all the things!! report back to me if u find out any cool stuff

I don't know if you're still doing this but if you are please do my birth chart, Virgo sun, Taurus moon, and Rising Sagittarius (if you're not doing them anymore it's fine

oh dang u earthy as F*CK. i would hate to get on your bad side, you are probably stubborn as hell and refuse to move from any position you hold. your sagittarius rising also probably makes you warm and inviting but competitive as heck. these are the two earth signs that i actually think go with sag really well! for some reason they always have a weird connection. i’ve talked about it a bit before. you are probably super chill and people like to hang out with you because you just do nothing and be homebodies but still have a good time. you might be prone to worry and restlessness, but listen to your intuition that tells you to calm down and focus on taking things slow.

Okay so I'm apparently a Leo sun, Scorpio moon and a Leo ascendant. What does this even mean help me lmao

OOH WOW ANOTHER SPICY BOY...honestly the first word that came to mind was “battleborn”. lmao you’re probably always looking for something/someone to keep up with your pace and stimulate your needs, and you probably get discouraged a lot because no one can ever match your wild personality. you can probably be overbearing without even realizing, and because of that, not many people can handle you. like i said before, scorpio moons crave intensity, and leos are already intense in their own way, so these two signs (especially the double leo influence) just really kinda egg each other on. so be careful not to get too carried away with doing The Most all the time.

[emptymasks]

tagged by @ohpotter thank you :)

rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

tagging: sorry if some of you were already tagged @alyseofwonderland @clonetracers @lingering-snow @gemfyre @skip-mucky @ruinsrebuilt @gendryw4ters @alexpenkala @emono-omae @roecompany I know that’s not 20 but...

THE LAST

1. drink: water 2. phone call: my bank 3. text message: idk, I barely text any, I mainly just use messanger apps... probably my Dad 4. song you listened to: The Abduction - Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 5. time you cried: I don’t know, since my anxiety calmed down I haven’t cried as much 6. dated someone twice: nope, never even dated someone once 7. kissed someone and regretted it: still no 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: my mental health wasn’t the best when I was a teenager, definitely an anxiety disorder, and hating myself for a while, but I don’t know whether I got as far as depression, I don’t want to offend anyone who actually had depression... 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no, I don’t drink

3 FAVOURITE COLOURS 12. blue 13. black 14. purple

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU 15. made new friends: yeah, started University this time last year, met some awesome people 16. fallen out of love: nope, never fallen in love 17. laughed until you cried: probably 18. found out someone was talking about you: I don’t think so. I mean my Mum talks crap about me all the time but 19. met someone who changed you: uh, yeah, I guess 20. found out who your friends are: not quite sure what that means 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: nope, never kissed anyone

GENERAL 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them bar one, I only add people who I actually know, but there was one girl who I was friends with on deviantart back when I was about 13, but now I only add people that I know and talk too. I don’t even add people who I went to school with if I never talked to them. I don’t know, it just feels weird to do that on FB to me, 23. do you have any pets: our family has a chocolate labrador  24. do you want to change your name: um...no? It’s weird. I don’t really like my name, but not as in I don’t like it as a name, I just don’t like it for me. But I also couldn’t imagine having any other name. 25. what did you do for your last birthday: nothin 26. what time did you wake up: 8am-ish 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping 28. name something you can’t wait for: I don’t know... uh I’m being a vendor at the artist alley in Linc-Con (Lincoln, Comic Con) and it’s my first time being a vendor or doing anything like this and I’m nervous but excited but nervous. So I guess that. And Thor Ragnarok. 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: Like, an hour ago. I’m still staying at home for the summer, I move back to University next Monday. 31. what are you listening to right now: Natasha, Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 (what a surprise) 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes 33. something that is getting on your nerves: uh, a lot of stuff, I’m very anxious all the time. in terms of something that’s annoying me... not much.  34. most visited website: Probably tumblr or youtube. 35. hair colour: brown 36. long or short hair: Long-ish. I’d like it to be a bit longer, but it hasn’t grown in like years. Seriously, I’ve never had a proper hair-cut, I just trim slip ends off and it hasn’t grown in so long no one ever believes that I’ve never had my hair cut. 37. do you have a crush on someone: not really, there’s clebs I’m attracted too, but there not crushes  38. what do you like about yourself: uh... I hate saying stuff like this, I always worry that I’ll come across big-headed. If I have to say something... I’m creative? 39. want any piercings: nope 40. blood type: no idea, I really should know, but I’ve never known and I’m not sure how to find out 41. nickname: None. I’m the only person with my name I’ve known that likes to be called Rebecca over being called Becky. I hate being called Becky. I had a teacher that called my Becks and I didn’t mind that too much. I do like pet-name / terms of endearment though. 42. relationship status: single 43. zodiac: taurus 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: band of brothers, legion, house of cards, halt and catch fire, brooklyn nine nine, hannibal, flight of the conchords, peaky blinders, star trek, the tudors, torchwood, the thick of it 46. tattoos: no, I like tattoos, but don’t want any myself 47. right or left handed: right handed 48. surgery: nope 49. piercing: no, don’t want any 50. sport: I did swimming for a long time, I don’t do it often now, but still enjoy it. I also have a thing for learning K-Pop choreography and then doing K-Pop random dance plays. It’s a decent workout when you’re too shy to exercise with anyone around and you don’t have the money for the gym anyway. 51. vacation: Haven’t gone in years, can’t afford it. The last time I went out for the day was with our Uni’s Harry Potter society and we spent the day at the Harry Potter studios. There’s another Buckbeak now and you can bow to him and he bows back and honestly I just love him so much and didn’t want to leave him. 52. pair of trainers: I actually don’t have any anymore. The closest the trainers I have is probably my converse.

MORE GENERAL 53. eating: um, I may snacking on tic-tacs 54. drinking: water 55. i’m about to: after finishing typing this, I need to test out how the Transformers print I just finished will look once it’s printed out, and then it’s back to making charms 56. waiting for: nothing for today, but I am kidna getting nervous about moving back to Uni 57. want: I got a 2.1 last year and I’d really like to get a 1st this year at Uni. Also to keep my Etsy shop up and running and to do well at comic con. 58. get married: eh. I honestly couldn’t care less. I’d be very happy to be in a committed relationship without being married. 59. career: want to be a concept artist for film, but will probably still freelance on the side

WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: what about both?  at the same time?? 61. lips or eyes: as in what I’m more attracted too? idk 62. shorter or taller: I’d want a partner to be taller than me, which isn’t hard as I’m 5′4″ 63. older or younger: ...I’m not going to lie. I have a pretty big thing for older guys, but realistically it would be better and probably healthier to date someone around my own age. Although now I am starting to be attracted to some guys around my own age, and I’ve never had a preference for older or younger women. 64. nice arms or nice stomach: ... 65. hook up or relationship: relationship. I could never do a hook-up or casual sex or a casual relationship. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: I guess hesitant?

HAVE YOU EVER 67. kissed a stranger: still no 68. drank hard liquor: nope, don’t drink  69. lost glasses/contact lenses: I like the only person in my family that doesn’t need glasses 70. turned someone down: actually yes, once, but he said he’d liked me for the past 7 years and I hadn’t even had a conversation with him (saying hello to each other when he saw each around school doesn’t count) in the last 5 years and I hadn’t seen him at all in the last 2 years so it just felt kinds creepy to me. 71. sex on the first date: no, haven’t had sex, haven’t been on a date. I don’t think I’d ever feel comfortable doing that. Not unless it was a date with someone who was a super close friend so you already know and trust them, but even then probably would never want to do that. 72. broken someone’s heart: not as far as I’m aware off 73. had your heart broken: no 74. been arrested: no 75. cried when someone died: yes 76. fallen for a friend: nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN 77. yourself: eh 78. miracles: no 79. love at first sight: no, it’s really impossible, you can feel attraction at first sight, but you can’t love someone you don’t know 80. santa claus: no 81. kiss on the first date: I mean, that kinda feels like the odd one out in this category. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. 82. angels: idk, I’m agnostic. I don’t really know if there’s any higher power of anything. Maybe there is, maybe there isn’t. Either way I’m not going to worry about it, I’m just going to make the most of my life either way and try to be a good person regardless cos that’s just the decent thing to do.

OTHER 83. current best friend’s name: idk if I really have  a ‘best friend’. I have friends, some of them I talk to more than others, but I don’t really rank friends. 84. eye colour: blue 85. favorite movie: ...this would be a really long list, are you sure you want that, I’ll try and put a few: Lord of the Rings, Baby Driver, Cap: Winter Soldier, Rise of the Guardians, The Princess Bride, The Breakfast Club, Inception, The Prince of Egypt, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Kingsman, The Martian, Mad Max Fury Road, The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (I know it’s not a great film but I love the characters), Mission Impossible 4 (didn’t expect to like MI but there you go), Iron Man, The Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy 1 + 2, Deadpool, Interview with the Vampire (I love Lestat and Louis but you can probably guess my feelings about Anne Rice), Fight Club.. I should stop typing now.

[hope-faith-love-abide]

So I just finished Part One of the game so I’m much farther into the story now than when I did my first impressions and uhhhhhh I have a lot of thoughts because WHAT THE CRAP ASFSDLSDJAKJ

(MAJOR spoilers below the cut)

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED AND A LOT OF IT I DIDN’T EXPECT WHAT THE H E C K

I expected Jeralt to die - I mean, the title of the chapter is The Cause of Sorrow and he keeps saying stuff like “It’s time I told you all this Very Important Backstory, but I gotta go somewhere so I’ll tell you when I get back”, which is a pretty classic trope. I definitely didn’t expect the WAY he was killed though (freaking Not Monica), and the scene was still absolutely heartbreaking, especially the fact that Byleth wasn’t able to stop it even with Divine Pulse, and then it’s apparently the first time in her whole life that she cried :(

I really liked Jeralt, so I’m still sad that he really is gone.

ALSO I’ve come to really like Seteth and Rhea (more thoughts on her in a sec), especially as I’ve gotten to know more about him and Flayn. And I definitely did NOT expect it to be revealed that Flayn is actually his daughter, not his sister. That was a genuine surprise for me. But it makes even more sense why he’s so protective of Flayn, and in hindsight it makes a lot of sense too, since Flayn would always talk about her mother, but Seteth never said anything his mother, so I suppose the hints were there.

With Rhea, I can’t decide if Byleth’s mother is her sister, so she’s our aunt, or MAYBE (since I don’t know Rhea’s actual age) Byleth’s mother was her daughter so she’s our grandmother?? IDK, she keeps hinting at and almost saying something, but then something interrupts her so she never finishes, and I can’t figure out what the reveal will be.

But an even more surprising reveal, she can TURN INTO A DRAGON???? WHOA DUDE. She wasn’t kidding when she said she’d be able to defend the monastery. I thought she was just going to do some really strong magic or something, and instead she turns into a DRAGON. WOW.

But back tracking to before Rhea has to turn into a dragon, finally understanding more about Sothis and Byleth’s connection is pretty cool, and it was cool to see them joining together in order to get out of the void. I knew Byleth’s hair was supposed to change at some point, so it was neat to find out how that happens. Though it was also sad too since it meant Sothis wouldn’t be around to talk to us anymore. I really liked her, so it made me sad whenever I’d explore the monastery but she wasn’t there to talk to or give us her random commentary on things anymore :(

But anyway, once that happened, and then Rhea was all like “ah yes, you have been blessed by the goddess, now you should go to the Holy Tomb for an important thing” I was still kinda suspicious of her and thought for sure she was going to like attack us or do something weird like “now as part of this ritual you must die” or something idk, but lemme tell you that is NOT WHAT HAPPENED AT ALL

So the Flame Emperor shows up (”with Imperial soldiers”, someone says) and I’m like “well, okay, I expected something like this too. Obviously there was going to be a battle of some kind”. The fact that imperial soldiers are with him is interesting, but I figure they’re either being controlled or maybe the Flame Emperor got more people on his side, y’know, whatever, no big deal, let’s fight.

So we do that and we attack the Flame Emperor and the mask gets knocked off and

IT’S EDELGARD????????

My boy Dimitri loses his mind (and so do I) and now he thinks Edelgard is responsible for the massacre of his family and friends four years ago, and then she DECLARES WAR on the Church of Seiros and everyone else since she’s secretly already become the Emperor of the Adrestian Empire and she wants to reunite Fodlan under her rule and now she’s going to attack the monastery and

*screaming*

This escalated so quickly and I genuinely wasn’t expecting this turn of events and I am so concerned about Dimitri because he’s completely losing it. 

So the battle starts, and everything is going fine, but I guess I got a little risky with some of my tactics and Byleth gets killed, so I have to use a Divine Pulse to go back. 

So I do that, but then another terrifying situation occurs. A bunch of enemies start ganging up on Felix. First Edelgard uses a gambit and everything explodes and is on fire, and it takes him down to 8 HP. And then someone else comes at him and I’m already like “well, crap, probably going to have to use another Divine Pulse” because I refuse to lose one of my units at this point. 

But then the enemy attacks and Felix DODGES it and then kills the enemy. And I’m freaking out. And then ANOTHER enemy comes at him and he dodges AGAIN and ALSO KILLS them. And I’m screaming on the inside. And finally it gets back to my turn, and Felix takes damage from the fire and LIVES WITH ONE (1) HP. 

Forget any doubt I had about Felix, this boy is a little punk but also an absolute star student, you get all the A+’s and golden star stickers in the world, I love you so much, Mr. MVP. And he was indeed officially the MVP of the battle after I had Byleth defeat Edelgard so I could get that battle to finally end. 

And after all that that’s when we get the cutscene where Rhea turns into a dragon to save everyone, and then Byleth goes back to help her and gets knocked into a chasm??? 

And then we get the five year timeskip, which I did know about, and it seems I was partially right that Byleth would somehow be taken out of participating in the story during that time. I thought she’d be in a coma or something, but I guess falling into the void works too.

So I also had seen the designs of the house leaders after the five year time skip, but when we finally found Dimitri it still hurt me seeing him like that :( My poor baby has had it so rough :( 

And that’s where I stopped but I’m so excited to get back into it because I really really want to know what’s happened to everyone else. AND because I’m having so much fun. This is the most fun I’ve had with a new game in awhile. 

[sunjaesol]

Thoughts whilst watching 6x11

- SCOTT IN THE BEGINNING MINUTES IM LIVING (Now we can all forget the tragic beginning of 6x01) - Assistant coach awwww yes - Thank the fucking Gods Hayden is gone. I’m sure the actress who played her was very nice but her character was cheesy and useless and I’m glad she’s gone. Also, I like Liam more when he’s single. - Mason is basically Stiles 2.0 but in a good way.  - Well, Corey didn’t annoy me.  - Interesting how they call back on the mantra that was central in s4. Like Liam said later on, he doesn’t need it anymore. What triggered him for hil to need to use it again. It doesn’t really make sense. He was very much in control of his powers in s5 and s6A. - Also, seniors? That doesn’t make sense. Liam joined BHHS in the end of Freshmen year (s4), then in s5 and s6A they should be Sophomores (which is legit since they can drive a car). Now they should go to Junior year, NOT senior year. It just doesn’t make sense. But oh well, it’s not the first time Teen Wolf fucked up dates.  - Liam and Scott casually go into the forest with no explanation leaving everyone else on the field. Definitely not suspicious.  - ... bugs out of a wolf? Is this 3B all over again?  - more... dead wolfs? Hunters? That’s what 6B would be about, right?  - DYLAN (excuse me, Stiles) ISNT IN THE FUCKING INTRO WHAT - Also, besides him not being in the intro, I still hate it in general. I know amateur editors who can make an intro that’s a hundred times better than that.  - MALIA AND LYDIA HANG OUT THIS IS FANFICTION COME TO LIFE - wHAT happened to all of their rooms anyway? Scott’s room has changed, Lydia’s as well.  - Malia going to France? Nod to the Argents? Isaac x Malia fanfics come to life? Where is Isaac anyway? Did he die?  - Is it me or do Lydia’s eyebrows look odd?  - “I want mysterious men. French ones.” Trust me, Malia, you don’t want mysterious French men.  - They both look cute btw. True to their style. (Although Lydia’s style has changed a lot since junior year. We don’t get to see her in dresses and braids a lot anymore.) - Did anyone see the parallel of Scott and Liam sitting together on the bed with Stiles and Scott staring at the load of money in s4?  - Suitcases don’t do that. And please, have they never learned to fold clothes? Boys.  - AND SPECIAL GUEST STAR DYLAN O’BRIEN IS THIS WHAT HE IS DERATED TO? A GUEST STAR? FUCK EVERYTHING (kidding im glad he’s even in 6B) - Is Dylan Sprayberry little? I feel like he is.  I viewed his resume on imbd: he’s 5′7″. So he’s small for a male. I’m taller than him lol.  - Another hellhound? Locked since 1912? And why the hell is Eichen House still around? You would think that after everything with Lydia in s5b, that Natalie would sue the constitution for practically murdering her daughter. Of course, she would need to exploit all supernatural, but still. Even the non-supernatural people they treat poorly. - I suppose we’re going to find out later who the white haired dude is? Or did he die? And is the black guy dead? And how did the nurse not know about this? If he is able to get in this part of the facility, he must have known about this.   - “Everyone says it’s an easy A.” Bitch please you need to WORK for Latin. It’s fun though. Anyways...  - The counsellor gives me the creeps. She knows shit. Also, after this many seasons, we all know not to trust new employees at BHHS. Except for the Yukimura’s. (#KiraDeservedBetter)  - ugh Corey, can you be any more obvious?  - “and yet you never come into my office and share any of these thoughts”, well... perhaps it’s none of your business.  - Nolan is the new character right?  - So, he’s going to be the snitch? I get it though. After three years of constant supernatural it would be odd no one from the outside never said anything.  - Lol. The Beast Of Gevaudan was supposed to be an animal attack? Right. Can you guys believe that was Mason? Wild.  - Honestly, I would be that bitch that would pick every book from the Mythology and Superstition section.  - “Why does this keep happening to our school?” idk Sydney, I don’t know.  - Also I feel like their CGI just keeps getting worse? - And I also suppose it will be later explained how there was a rat attack? - How did “Hellhound 1912″ get these clothes that fit him so well? Did he have time to go to H&M? - Sydney has such pretty hair btw - Oh look we’re there again. Where everything shitty happens. - A... rat massacre? - Rat King? - Principal Martin allrrighht go her. - oh no it’s the butterfly sweater girlie no - not about teen wolf but it hurts when I move my neck,, anyways - well they are your students and if they have supernatural issues you should know about them and help them. they can’t learn if they have shit going on.  - “and you have to go rule in one” yessssss Lydia will be the baddest bitch of MIT.  - The taser. Another nod to the Argent’s. - I love Scott and Melissa’s relationship. It feels organic. It really reminds me of my relationship with my mum. (Without the supernatural part, of course.)  - Scott’s look when he sees she knows about the herbs is incredible. Melissa’s kind of like their new emissary. I always thought Stiles would be it, but I suppose the role is for Melissa. (Deaton seems to not be present so... ???) - I feel like this is what Malia did in the hiatus between 5B and 6A. Like, Stiles called up Lydia if he thought something was happening and then he called Malia to investigate. She’s doing it very routinely so this was not the first time she’d one something like that.  - Mason standing back is like Stiles being afraid of needles.  - Ah, I love Malia.  - Poor Melissa. Thought she was getting some lumpia’s.  - Great. Now the whole hospital saw Liam shift. Fucking great. More patients for Eichen House.  - Lydia has a key to Scott’s house. She probably got that idea from Stiles (ehehehehehehehehe i’m trash) - Wop. The lights fall out. This can’t be good.   - I love how this is shot. The eerie sounds, the shadows, yet her face is perfectly lit. It’s great. - Did Holland’s breasts get bigger since 6A?  - Never pick up the phone when you’re in a horror movie.  - The spider webs(?) is a bit like the red strings in 3B when Stiles went missing. The rules of her powers stay consistent which is very nice. - “You let it out, you were supposed to ride with the Hunt forever.” Okay, so the Wild Hunt still plays a part in 6B, but how does that tie in with everything else? And what is “it”? Stiles? - That Toyota promo though. Doesn’t make sense though that Mason has a new car. He got one from his parents for his 16th birthday in s5B and that was a different one. (I pay attention, guys) - Late Night Study Hall in the Library. Is that a thing? That’s a thing? Is it an American thing? I think it is.  - *cue Western music* hellhound vs hellhound. ready, set, fire! - ah, so the counsellor has all the books. alright. shady bitch. - when you casually have a gun with you at school. she’s a guidance counsellor god damn it.  - “If the Wild Hunt couldn’t keep you, nothing can.” So he has a connection to the Wild Hunt? Right, hellhounds are connected to them. right right right. So the wild hunt was also there in 1912? - “No... no, it’s not you.” WHO IS IT? Scott? Stiles?  - Huh. When Stiles uses his bat it often ends better than that. Oh well, Mason has time to learn. - When Derek said Liam will become strong he wasn’t kidding.  - This episode is just shot really great. - STILES HIS CAR - “Be Gentle” fuck im emotional how does a fucking character do this to me - wow Lydia could you be any more creepy.  - “We can’t leave.” Stiles really influenced her damn - Out of context but I like skinny Liam more than buff Liam. Also his hair is hideous. - bromance on point - “OUI OUI!” oh my god Malia is this how Americans act? Like is this it?  - I love this so much, these pack feels. yes yes yes.  - oh honey, that’s a hellhound. - that tree trunk did not hit him hard jesus - well. he’s dead.  - what the fuck. is she an Argent? or just a Hunter from the Argent dynasty? and where is she? she couldn’t have run that fast. Scott’s a werewolf for fucks sake. -  it’s interesting how now this isn’t something new for them. it’s a routine. something happens, they help. they figure things out faster.  - omg is this the scene with stiles? - am I the only one that started crying when I heard Dylan’s voice.  - oh and I could make a whole seperate blog post on my reaction to Stiles in 6x11 but here is the td;lr i cried. - Oh Derek, what are you doing? - Jep, that is a triskelion. Stop zooming in gosh. 

[boystownbirdie]

LMWTV4U: GOT S7E1

Welcome back to let me watch TV 4 U (LMWTV4U) where I watch TV shows so you don’t have to! If you’re not a GoT-watcher or you just need a review, check out my pre-season-6-GoT primer here or you can just check out the review/recap of the last ep of season 6 here

It’s GoT season 7 y’all- WHO’S EXCITED?

As always, spoiler alert. Also, I’m introducing a new segment of this blog called WHY DOES THIS SCENE EVEN MATTER or (WDTSEM?) to help us decipher when some seemingly unimportant or otherwise boring scenes actually do kind of matter. So watch for that. Now let’s get into it! 

Over in Frey-ville/ Riverlands...

So we open on Walder Frey (aka Argus Filch from Harry Potter) giving a toast to a bunch of his people, all of whom have to wear inexplicably weird hats that seem to serve no purpose. Off the bat we know something is up because Arya Stark, fresh from the face-swapping-assassin-training academy, definitely killed Filch in the last ep of season 6. He’s gathered up all of his hat-wearing friends and family and is like hey guys, here’s some NOT POISONED wine let’s have a toast. It’s pretty obvious it’s Arya doing a really good impersonation of Filch/ wearing his face, especially when he doesn’t even pretend to take a sip of his wine. He’s all, hey remember when we killed all those Stark people, especially the mom and the hottie son, Robb and his preggers wife? That was fun, right? And all the poisoned guys are like yep murder is fun you are correct. Then he’s like too bad you didn’t kill all the Starks cuz one is still alive and…. It’s ME BITCHES. 

And she rips off Filches’ face/body and is like SURPRISE! And because this is the season of the woman, she doesn’t let any of the poor servant girls (who were like 15 years old and all forced to marry Filch) drink any of wine but she’s like, I know this is confusing, because I was just wearing the face and body of your former husband but it’s me, a fellow 15-year old girl and please tell everyone THE NORTH REMEMBERS. (If you’ll recall the Stark fam is from the North and a bunch of them died at the red wedding which was FOREVER AGO)

Later in the ep, we catch up with Arya who is riding around on a horse like a boss when she happens upon ED SHEERAN. SERIOUSLY ED SHEERAN IS IN THIS EPISODE WHY? I DON’T KNOW. And he’s singing a song with some soldier bros, duh. And I guess they’re from the Lannister army (if you’ll recall the Lannisters are the incest twins) because they’re wearing their colors and they’re like ugh King’s Landing (where Queen Pixie Cut aka QPC is currently ruling after blowing up most of the city) is the worst. And Arya is like umm ya it sucks, last time I was there I saw my dad get his head chopped off, BUMMER. She doesn’t say that actually but she does listen to them talk about how they wished they were home with their family instead of fighting for QPC. 

WHY DOES THIS SCENE EVEN MATTER (WDTSEM)? This scene is pretty clearly a setup to get Arya to consider meeting up with her bro (well actually uncle) and sis in Winterfell rather than her current single-minded pursuit of killing QPC. Anyway, the strangest thing about this scene is that one of the bros is like ya my mom always said to be kind to others and they’ll be kind to you and also none of the bros say anything murder-y or even slightly assault-y for that matter toward this young girl traveling alone WHAT SHOW IS THIS? On any other season of GoT this scene would have been a literal bloodbath.

Sidenote: when the opening credits run we FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER only see Westeros rather than both sides of the globe (or is it a globe? Idk. g.r.r.r.r.r. Martin plz advise) cuz our Khween Khaleesi is no longer residing there.

Next, let’s check in up North with Bran and his pal Meera who recently narrowly escaped a zombie attack only to be rescued by his zombie-uncle.

Bran is having a vision, as he is wont to do, of the “Night King” (zombie leader guy) plus thousands of zombies marching toward the non-zombie world. Some of them are even zombie giants which is super spooky. He’s like let’s GTFO and get south of this giant ice wall so they coming a-knocking on the ice-wall-door which, if you’ll recall is manned by all those moody celibate dudes that Bae was briefly murdered by before coming back from the dead. Bae’s friend who is in charge now is like umm new phone who dis cuz IDK what “Brandon Stark” looks like but it’s probably not you. And he and his friend Meera are like we promise, we’re cool and they let them in.

WDTSEM? Bran and Meera’s next stop after passing through TSA security is probably to see his sis and bro at his home, Winterfell. Last time that poor boi was there he was paralyzed, briefly made leader, ousted, forced to watch the whole place burn down and then had to escape before he was killed. So needless to say he’ll be happy to see that it’s not only rebuilt and no longer a torture dungeon, but being ruled by his fam! AND he’s the only one who knows the truth about Bae the R+L=J theory so he needs to drop that bomb on erry’body that basically means that Bae is kind of a rightful ruler and also Khaleesi’s nephew?!?

Speaking of his home, let’s check in with Winterfell...

Bae (Jon Snow) is like wow being in charge is hard no wonder Obama turned gray lol-is-this-thing-on? And Sansa is like eye-roll and they have a little tiff in front of everyone which is EMBARRASSING. A few important things happen here: 

Bae tells everyone to dig for dragonglass cuz it’s the only way to kill the zombies. He’s like hey bois, gurls, gender-non-comforming-individuals, EVERYONE needs to get to work and dig and learn to fight

Everyone’s favorite pint-sized-ruler-of-Bear-Island, Lyanna Mormont, is all about that lyfe, as shown in gif above

Bae is like wow little kids are pretty good at being in charge so let’s put these other 2 lil’ squirts in charge over at their houses

Bae sends hottie-ginger-wildling-bae to guard part of the wall where the zombies are probably heading first. Goodbye ginger-bae. 

Sansa does not agree with the putting-kids-in-charge bit which is what they argue about but he does it anyway. They kind of makeup and then they talk about how Cersei (aka Queen Pixie Cut aka QPC) is in charge now and Sansa is like she cray but also a BAMF. 

Later we get a scene of Brienne, everyone’s fave lady-knight, training her squire how to fight and are reminded that ginger-bae has the hots for her. As Sansa watches this all play out, Littlefinger (ugh he is the WORST) comes over to tell Sansa for the 80th time that he loves her and wants to rule the world with her. And as she has done 80 times, she’s like NO THANKS DUDE. 

Speaking of Queen Pixie Cut (QPC) let’s check in on her over at King’s Landing…

QPC is ruling whatever is left of her people after she blew most of them up. She commissioned this giant map/painting on the ground and is stompin’ all around like she owns the place, which, to be fair, she does. Her twin bro/lover, Jamie, comes over and is like ummm… what’s the tea? Remember how our last living kid jumped out of a building and died last season… can we discuss? And she’s literally like yolo we gotta rule this place FOR US. And he’s like but we don’t have any heirs anymore, like who’s gonna take over after that you can’t #liveforever this ain’t the high school cafeteria in the film version of Fame. She’s like dontcha worry, I gotta plan.

So Theon’s crazy uncle shows up to see them. If you’ll recall last season, he killed his bro and then tried to become king of the wet-rock-pile by throwing up a bunch of sea water even though his niece, Theon’s sis, was totes supposed to become kween of her peeps. While he was performing his water-gagging-magic-trick, Theon and his sis ran away with a bunch of the peeps and all of the ships. Again, their entire island seemed to have about 20 people so WHO IS ON THOSE SHIPS? IDK. And he was like NBD I’ll make a bunch more ships AGAIN WHO IS BUILDING AND THEN RIDING ON THESE SHIPS IDK. So I guess the ships are built and people must be on them because they show up to QPC’s shores and she’s like whatup. Jamie is NOT HAVING IT mostly because he is jelly since Theon’s crazy uncle (TCU) is hittin on his sis. TCU manages to squeeze in a really sick burn when he’s like well at least I have 2 working hands (Jamie got one chopped off 3 seasons ago) and then he asks QPC to get with him. She’s like naw dawg so he’s like NBD I’ll be back with a “very special present” and heads off. They also banter about how his niece and nephew and Khaleesi and QPC’s other bro (Tyrion) have all teamed up and are headed that way.

WDTSEM? In the books, apparently TCU has some sort of magic horn that can call dragons? I think this might be the gift he’s going to get and bring back to QPC which would be CLUTCH because in the upcoming battle against Khaleesi, the ability to control those dragons would be really helpful.

Next, let’s see how Sam is doing over in “Oldtown” where all the maesters live...

If you’ll recall, Maesters are like doctors/librarians/historians, each of whom is assigned to either a place (like the ice wall) or a family, I guess (like the Starks). Sam wants to be one but he also is NAUGHTY and brought his gf and her bb with him (Maesters are also supposed to be celibate like the ice wall guys). He’s in maester-training-camp which includes a lot of diarrhea, apparently. He’s like cleaning bedpans, putting back library books, and doing autopsies on the reg. JIM BROADBENT aka Prof. Slughorn from HP aka Harold from Moulin Rouge shows up and is like DON’T GO IN THE RESTRICTED SECTION OF THE LIBRARY, SAM (flashes of Harry Potter, amirightladies?) so of course Sam does. He sneaks some books home and finds out that “Dragonstone” which is a castle near King’s Landing that Khaleesi is heading towards, is built on top of heaps of “dragonglass” (which, I mean, could have guessed) so he’s like I gotta tell Bae since I know bb boi is trying to stock up on that. Also, there’s a brief scene when Khaleesi’s friend who had the turning-to-stone-disease (Stoney) is like in a hospital where Sam is working and is pops his stone-hand out and is like IS SHE HERE YET? Aka Stoney wants to know if Khaleesi has made it to Dragonstone yet, which WAIT TIL THE END OF THE EPISODE, DUDE.

WDTSEM? Especially the scene with Jim Broadbent (JB) is important because he talks about how the ice wall has always held up after centuries of zombie attacks and how empires rise and fall and just like go with the flow, Sam. My guess is that they’re bringing up how strong the ice wall is and how unlikely a zombie-attack really is because this is something that may actually happen now so we can really grasp how high the stakes are nowadays.

Before we get to Khaleesi, we have to check in on “The Hound” who’s walking around with those fire-worshipping dudes these days…

Is it just me or is man-bun guy kinda hot? So he and “The Hound” come across this farm house which the Hound is having some guilt about b/c last time he was in the hood he killed the girl and her dad who lived there. They find their bodies and everyone is like IDK who killed them but ugh… that’s life. And then the fire-worshipper-guys are like here look at this fire and remember the Hound hates fire because he got half of his face burned off as a kid. But he does look at the fire and has like a premonition of zombies going around the ice wall and attacking all the living people. Then he and hottie man bun bury the dead girl and her dad outside because the Hound feels #guilty for killing them I guess?

WDTSEM? Well the Hound used to be really murder-y but then he was saved by Ian McShane and his group of like Amish people (much like Harrison Ford in the film Witness) and decided to renounce violence. He used to work for QPC’s family and then kind of kidnapped Arya but also was not the worst to her (or to her sister for that matter) so if shit’s going down he could potentially be on the Stark side of things now. 

Lastly, we check in with everyone’s fave kween and co, Khaleesi, who rolls up on Dragonstone with all her pals…

She hasn’t been to this side of the world since she was a wee babe so when she steps foot on the sand, she’s like give me a minute y’all. Then she walks into the castle and looks at the throne, which is NOT made of a bunch of swords but rather a slab of rock and is still pretty baller and walks right past it to head to the room with the giant map on it. Previously, Stannis and his friends lived there including sweet ole’ no-knuckles who is currently #teambae and he spent a lot of time strategizing and having sex with witches to produce demon babies on that table. Khaleesi looks around and then is like, let’s get it started in here #blackeyedpeas.  

WDTSEM? Well, duh, cuz Khaleesi is in it and she is basically the Beyonce of GoT. But also because she has had this single-minded pursuit on the iron throne (chair made of swords where QPC is currently sitting) so you’d think she’d like take a minute to sit on this rock-slab-throne and savor the moment, but she (unlike QPC) knows that a true kween not only sits there, but also gets shit done. And I think this scene is supposed to contrast how #woke Khaleesi is compared to QPC. Both have giant maps and thrones now, but QPC is so out of touch that she has no time for strategy or listening to other people’s advice. 

Final thoughts:

This ep was what the TV people call a “table setting” episode and it did just that. The drawback is that it was pretty boring. We just check in on all of our key players/places and see how everyone is doing which is normally quite helpful in GoT world. But the season 6 finale already did that for us, so it seems to be just an extension of that episode rather than something new and exciting. Now on to our superlatives...

Biggest surprise this ep: Sam is interning for JIM BROADBENT these days, which is pretty great. Also Ed Sheeran lives in GoT-world I guess which actually explains a lot.

Biggest letdown: We only get THREE WHOLE WORDS from Khaleesi in the entire ep!

Important fashion moments: Sansa’s new lacefront is NOT working for her. With this budget you’d think they could afford better wigs! Also, while I won’t miss the Mereen subplot, I will miss Khaleesi and co being in a warmer climate because she and her friends had some killer crop tops/ cut out dresses/ bright colors . Now that everyone is on the cold side of the world, we have much less #fashun.

Who died this ep? A bunch of Walder Frey’s main cronies

Check in next week when we’re promised someone will finally be strangling littlefinger so we may be rid of his creepy soliloquies soon! Thanks for reading tell your friends!

CORRECTION: After checking my sources, it seems like the Hound maybe didn’t kill the farmer dude and his daughter but instead stole their shit and so they were forced into the dire circumstances that led them to their death. So while it sounds like he didn’t kill them, he still feels guilty that he basically caused their deaths.

Also, I incorrectly ID’ed Bae as Khaleesi’s uncle a few times but actually she is his aunt I guess? Sorry to lead you astray! 

[demoisellebeauty]

It seems I have been tagged by my partner in crime @princebete to write a shitty explanation of my character so AWAAAY WE GO

Hello, my name is Belle which means “beauty” and damn did my parents have good foresight because I’m a banging piece of ass. Or well when I say parents I mean my dad since my mom was brutally murdered by the company that made this movie for the sole reason that she is my mom and I’m not allowed to have a mom except to have her memories make my dad angsty and shit because if there’s one thing that really needed explanation it was the reason that I’m living in a village? Not really a question I had as I’m more interested in wondering why I can’t have a mom but what are you gonna do?

Anyways this village is pretty much the French equivalent of Hicksville, probably including the incest for all I know. Like we’re talking ultra conservative “women who wear their hair down are going to the Devil” type people. So obvs they don’t like the fact that I’m literate even tho let’s be real they’re probably also jelly of my mad skills at simultaneous reading and walking without bumping into shit. I got that fucking mastered and I’d like to see you try it and look as fly as I do. And I really just wanna get the fuck outta here but because I have a dad who’s dangerously close to blowing up himself and our house at any given moment I don’t have a lot of choice. Also we’re poor and if you’re poor you’re kinda fucked if you’re not spending every waking moment working your ass off.

It doesn’t help that there’s this fuckboi named Gaston who doesn’t know the meaning of “you ain’t getting NONE of this.” Damn jerk always throwing my books in the mud, do you know how expensive books are in this time period? Ass. And then he talks some shit about how women shouldn’t be reading and thinking and I’m like... ew. Like Gaston’s pretty hot but if his looks are a 9 out of 10 his personality is a 0. And I’m a pretty modern girl for my time, right? Like I’m all about women’s rights so it REALLY fucking sucks to be stuck in a time period where all they want you to do is get married and pop out babies until you die of the plague.

So I’m pretty damn happy that Dad’s finally got his amazing if probably lethal judging from how it can either chop you into pieces or give you a concussion invention and he goes off to a convenient fair so that we can get rich and get the fuck out of this place leaving me by myself which, really? You couldn’t take me with just this once? I know we got a farm to take care of and all but you remember fuckboi Gaston? BARGES THE FUCK INTO MY HOUSE AND PROPOSES TO ME, AFTER GETTING MUD ON ANOTHER ONE OF MY BOOKS. Did I mention he already had the wedding set up because he didn’t think there was any way I would say no? What a douche. NOT TO MENTION THAT I DON’T KNOW HOW HE HASN’T PICKED UP ON THE FACT THAT GETTING MUD ON MY BOOKS DOES NOT TURN ME ON.

After very literally dumping fuckboi in the dirt Philippe just HAS to interrupt my wistful longings for a better life to let me know that Dad somehow managed to fuck up a simple trip to the fair meaning that I have go and find him.

Naturally, my Dad just HAD to turn out to be in a spooky haunted castle straight out every gothic novel ever ruled by a giant ass talking and rly extra dramatic buffalo-lion thing that’s fugly as hell. I don’t know at the time whether he’s actually a giant animal or just a furry but both options are not ideal. I end up promising fugly buffalo-lion guy that I’ll stay in exchange for dad’s freedom and he agrees only for the asshat to drag my dad out without even letting me get to say goodbye smh. But I barely have time to think about that before it turns out that to make the castle even creepier, a shitton of the furniture is alive and walking and talking and it’s horrifying in a “I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream” kind of way. It’s really messed up when you try to think about what that must be like. But that said, dancing plates makesfor great dinner theatre, Toby’s should hire these guys.

Once I’m done with dinner I sneak out into the West Wing. Yeah, buffalo-lion guy said not to but I DO WHAT I WANT OK. And I mean yeesh if he’d wanted me to stay out of his room, maybe he should have told me that it was his room instead of forbidding it. Guy was asking for someone to come a-knocking. But damn, his room is more trashed than the aftermath of the worst frat boy party you’ve ever seen but hey, at least there’s a portrait of some random but hella fine dude but oh wait, there’s a pretty glowing floating rose that’s pretty obviously magic so I do what any reasonable person would do and try to touch said shiny floaty flower.

Of course I nearly shit myself when buffalo guy just comes in out of nowhere and starts screaming at me for invading his man cave (beast cave?) and tells me to gtfo I’m like “I can do that. I’m noping out, that’s it. im out bitches” Except maybe it wasn’t a brilliant idea to ride a horse out into a blizzard and thick woods filled with starving wolves. Thankfully buffalo guy saves me before dramatically collapsing and making me having to drag his ass back to his castle. Do you have any idea how much that guy weighs? It’s a good thing I work out cause I was this close to giving up. Its around then that I start to realize Buffalo guys (who’s name I never catch for whatever reason) might look scary but he’s actually just a large hairy man child and once he gets his shit together he’s not that bad a guy I guess.

Course it doesn’t hurt that he gave me a whole library. definitely turns me on more than dropping my book into mud. Not that buffalo guy turns me on but like he’s nice, you know, actually kind of sweet but im not thinking about him that way ya nasties. except ok maybe a little cause like we had this dance and everything and it got really sensual and idk what would’ve happened if I hadn’t cockblocked us by wondering about dad. Which, turns out buffalo guy (how do I still not know his name?) has a magic mirror that shows you shit (and I really hope he hasn’t been using it to look at me at certain times in the evening cause usually around then im either singing off key in the shower or masturbating over weird kinky beast sex).

dad’s in trouble fucking AGAIN cause the poor guy can’t go ten minutes without me around to bail out his ass and Buffalo guy lets me know and its really nice but I friendzone him for the moment and out to find dad and take him to the village instead of the castle where we might find better medical care and comfortable conditions for him. not one of my greatest ideas I admit. Things still would’ve been if only GASTON MCFUCKBOI hadn’t come to fuck everything up by trying to extort me into marrying him by throwing my dad into the insane asylum, which yes, he’s a little insane but like I’m into bestiality so... I can’t judge him. I try to wipe the smile off fuckboi’s face by proving buffalo guy exists only... now fuckboi wants to kill buffalo guy so I kinda fucked up . 

I eventually get back to the castle just in time to save buffalo guy only not really because GUESS WHO FUCKS ITS UP FOR EVERYONE? if you guessed fuckboi you’d be right cause he just goes full Shakespeare and stabs buffalo guy right before falling to his death, which sucks maybe but I’m more sad about buffalo guy (SERIOUSLY WHAT’S HIS NAME) dying before I could tell him that I was up for kinky beast sex but instead of that I just tell him I love him.

Then I swear it was like I had an acid trip or something because Buffalo guy suddenly starts floating and glowing and going through a magical girl transformation into the hella fine dude from that portrait in his room and- ooooooh I get it he was cursed it was super obvious, you’d think a smart girl like me would’ve caught on to something like that but I guess not. 

But the good news is that buffalo guy is human so I don’t have to worry about being into bestiality and we kiss and there are actual literal fireworks which is awesome and there’s something about a spell or whatever idk but i’m more concerned with asking WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR REAL NAME SO I CAN SCREAM IT IN BED.

But yeah we live happily ever after and all that jazz cause I’m a princess now and don’t have to do my own shit anymore. Moral of the story is find a hairy sugar daddy cause he’ll turn out to be secretly hot and not mind your weird kinks.

TAGGING: all the shitty muses

[trisabelle]

@set-wingedwarrior TY FOR TAGGING ME ILY FRIEND (though I feel offended I was only the fourth person you tagged. Like I thought I mattered... :,c) Rules: Tag 20 people you’d like to get to know better Name/Nickname: Haha. You fool.. To have a nickname you must have friends.. cries (everyone just calls me tris and I like that tbh!!) Gender: cismale with a pinch of awkward femininity??? idk nvm Star Sign: Sagittarius! Height: 166cm I think?? And that's like 5"6 or however you do the "s Hogwarts House: (¯\_°□°)_/¯ Favorite Color: mint green or pastel pink!!!!! Both are beautiful Favorite Animal: turt Average Hours of sleep: solve for x where x=x Cat or dog person: d o g g o Favorite Fictional Characters: oboi.png Korra, Aang, Toph, Amethyst, Peridot, Lapis, Garnet, 💖Max Caulfield & Chloe Price💖 KATE MARSH IS MY CHILD. Lara Croft & Carmilla & all the main characters from Sense8. Also the Doctor, the entire Pines family (gravity falls) as well as Wirt and Greg from otgw. CANT EVER FORGET ANNA AND ELSA and many, mANY characters from Bionicle (standouts are Matoro, Takanuva, Kopaka & Pohatu). And finally, Link & Zelda and Wash from Firefly. Oh yeah and Joy from inside out and then there's quite a few from walking dead, such as Glenn & Maggie, Tara, Daryl, and Morgan. But lets not forget Star Wars! Rey and Poe and Finn and bb-8 and Luke and Leia!!! Han is great too and of course Chewy, and ALL the ewoks. Anyways imma stop now before this gets out of hand Number of blankets I sleep with: one (1) bc I only use it for like a few nights and then it goes through the wash. Ocd rocks : ) Favorite Singer/Band: hm. Probably barenaked ladies! I've listened to them since I could hear Dream Trip: do the lego inside tour... again c:< Dream Job: take a guess from my last question When was this blog created: i think it's like two and a half years old now????? Wild Current number of followers: 667 with probably 700 of them being porn bots When did your blog reach its peak?: probably when I posted a picture of my lego inside tour stuff. Kind of regret it because it probably spoiled it for the next batch of visitors.. What made you decide to make a Tumblr?: My reddit account is probably 4-5 years old now and I got on tumblr after seeing how much the frozen subreddit linked to here. So I decided to go right to the source. I still remember the first blog I followed!! They don't post elsanna anymore but I'm happy to still see their posts and see how they're doing c: Birthday: november 28! Relationship status: single and rdy2die Siblings: a younger sister who's so dramatic but that's family Wake up time: time is relative. no further comment Lemonade or sweet tea: neither. gimme a nice cold glass of water and keep ur gross lemon juice/nasty leaf water (sorry iroh) Day or night: night bc no one will bother me Coke or pepsi: even worse than lemonade and tea combined Calls or texts: texts bc the phone makes me nervous for some reason. It's even worse than talking in person Ever met a celebrity?: i had the opportunity to meet a guy who's on one of those crap disney sitcoms. I passed it up because I cannot support sin (he's probably a nice guy though) Smiles or eyes: ...both pls?.. Country or city?: city Last song i listened to: listening to mountains by message to bears right now!! Lis soundtrack gonna kill me Tag some users you want to get to know better: if you want to do this then do, if not then don't. I mean it, I will FORCIBLY MAKE YOU FOLLOW YOUR DESIRES REGARDING THIS TAG MEME @raggedymancomegetme @the-akward-feistypants @the-pretty-kitten @sheikahstone @starrchild @femme--fandoms @gallifreyan-baymax @keith-koganes-laugh @moonlit-battlefield @trans-dovahkiin

[dmclemblems]

Rules: Tag 20 followers you want to know better

Tagged by: @loptyrofjugdral​

☆Name: Bleep Bleep Boop. No. N/A. Bye.

☆Nickname: Leafy, JD, TE calls me Jade because of JD. Also one of my friends accidentally called me Sety to herself once.

☆Gender: Female.

☆ Star Sign: Gemini.

☆ Height: 5′0 I’m a smol.

☆Sexual orientation: Well I mean I’m like asexual and biromantic with a preference to girls but really I’m Alvisromantic and Alvis and Sety are kind of the only reasons I can think of as to why I’m bi so how do I answer this

☆Hogwarts House: idk

☆Favorite Color: Alvis. I mean red.

☆Favorite Animal: BUNNIES AND KITTIES.

☆Time right now: 11:21 PM.

☆Cat or dog person: Cat.

☆Favorite Fictional Character: Is this fucking legitimate or did nobody expect me to say Alvis? I mean. Like.

☆# of blankets I sleep with: One, two or three. Different sizes, material, etc.

☆ Favorite Singer/band: idk anymore

☆ Dream Trip: idk maybe somewhere where IntSys won’t touch FE4

☆Dream Job: Allow me the honor of working alongside Sir Kaga. Otherwise all of my real dream jobs are long gone into the void of “it’ll never happen anyway”.

☆When blog created: So fucking long ago man like I was in the Naruto fandom back then oh man the regret. Archive says June 2013 tho.

☆Current number of followers: Between a hundred and below two hundred. Basically Jugdral/Jugdral manga fans. AKA it’s kinda like “who on Tumblr is a Jugdral fan and can put up with this girl who cries over her favorite characters on a regular basis”.

☆Why did you make this tumblr: I really wanted an FE blog. Cuan you believe it? An FE blog. I’m holeryn about my own unsightly thoughts. There I thought I was all sety to go and be like yay FE, but then it turned into everything Jugdral.

☆ Why did you pick your URL: It was originally emblemofthefire, like, you know, back when FE4 wasn’t what I breathed the life of. Now it’s because I must defend Jugdral to the death and ain’t got time for shit talkers or haters like gotta defend this place like Holsety did.

Tagging: If you want to do this, say I tagged you. Go for it.

[sobdasha]

i want to take a moment to acknowledge

that as much as Yuki is a jerk, he has actually tried really, really hard in his life?

(looking at my notes, this post was partially sponsored by the martial arts flashback in ep 9 of the reboot, partially inspired by the Kisa ep, and partially because I realized that our girl Tohru done Yuki real dirty in ep 1)

Because this is a thing I tend to forget about Yuki--that he has tried so hard. It's partly because he doesn't see himself that way ("Why am I so weak, why do I give into peer pressure to be liked, why didn't I just run away from home and live in the woods as a child if I didn't like being abused???" Yuki no). Yuki, like Kisa, is actually pretty damn good about asserting himself and being proactive. The problem, same as for Kisa, is that it just literally doesn't work.

So. Bitty Yuki gets sold to Akito as a playmate. This starts to go south, and Yuki repeatedly tells mom to please get him out of there. It doesn't work, of course, mom won't hear anything that would inconvenience her, but Yuki uses what is available to him and tries his best. It isn't his fault he fails miserably.

Still bitty, Yuki realizes that he hasn't ever spoken to anyone but, like, his mom and Akito. He would like to change this, but Ayame seems (rightly so) like a very anxiety-inducing place to start. Yuki runs into Kyou, admires his orange hair, and decides this is a perfect place to start making the friends he would like to have. Kyou, projecting the shit his sperm donor has been giving him, tells Yuki to go die. And then his mom slaps him for wandering off, like what if Akito had been looking for you, huh. Rude.

So Akito keeps telling Yuki that everyone hates him and no one cares about him. Yuki has picked up from his mom that this might actually be a true thing, but he decides to be proactive anyway and reach out to Ayame. Well that did jack but you tried, son.

Yuki starts school. Yuki still wants friends very much but he is very tired and dislikes being hurt, so he tries not to interact much, which is not difficult because he has had so much practice. Friends find him anyway, but unfortunately Yuki blows the family secret. Yuki tries to appeal to Akito to keep his friends. Yuki cries on Hatori lots to appeal to him to keep his friends. But the rules are the rules. Now Yuki has no friends and he's tireder than ever.

Yuki decides to fuck this shit and run away from home with no end goal in mind, but idk this sure sounds like tent life to me. Luckily for him he meets Tohru though, and the sight of a mom that actually cares about her child is so inspiring, and being a necessary presence that helps Tohru is so gratifying, that Yuki is saved from tent life and goes back home filled with determination to do his best and live a good life.

Haru confronts Yuki with the "fuck you the Rat ruined my life" speech and Yuki, still buoyed up on Tohru-induced self-acceptance, is like "wait no I've got this maybe...just because people say you are a certain way...doesn't mean it's true? Maybe people are just mean? I bet you're not actually stupid really." Congrats Yuki, you did a good thing~

Timeline is a bit fuzzy now but here's what I think. I am very glad the reboot clarified the "didn't you enjoy martial arts" scene because I could always tell it was very Significant but could not really interpret the meaning from it. I kind of vaguely assumed "Akito is menacing because Akito" and "martial arts just kind of happens to Yuki because it was suggested it was good for his health" and "I guess that's Shishou being all mentoring with Haru??" Now we've got Kyou and Haru messing around with training together...I'm going to posit it's at the Main Estate, that this takes place before Yuki starts taking martial arts. I bet Yuki watched them, like he watched everyone walking to school together being friendly. This is a thing he desperately wants to have and doesn't know how to acquire. And he can't change where he goes to school (and school friends went poorly anyway), but he can press to have martial arts lessons. If Kyou and Haru both take martial arts and hang out together and are friends, then if Yuki also takes martial arts the same thing will happen to him, right??? So I think Yuki proactively pressed and pressed and pressed to take martial arts lessons, and people were like "well it might actually be good for his health so why not let him, Akito?", so Yuki won the battle but lost the war because it didn't make Kyou like him and it didn't get Yuki out of the grip of Akito's isolation.

Possibly it helped contribute further to Haru befriending him and being the only person who would sneak into Yuki's ~special isolated Cat Room Lite~ to see him. But Yuki has put a lot of effort into this and now he's getting tired again and at some point he starts getting mean towards Kyou because fuck you, Kyou, okay so everyone says they hate you and you suck and you're going to be locked up for the rest of your life but right now your amazing dad loves you and you live outside the estate with real people and you have friends who smile at you every day and your hair is so cool???? While everyone says they love me and I'm special and I'm going to be very successful at whatever career my mom picks out for me but right now literally no one but Haru gives a shit about me and I live in a dark isolated room with only Akito to visit me and I would die to have people smile at me on a regular basis and also friends and my hair is styled the same as Akito's for some reason that no one remembers??? Like Kyou if you're gonna throw all this away in order to get locked up in the Main Estate which is not that great trust me at least give me your damn life you shitface.

Still, Yuki manages to regroup in trying to be proactive about his life if not in trying to be friends with Kyou. Yuki's old enough now, he can definitely get away with applying all on his own to an unapproved normal-people-co-ed high school. So he does! And he's like "surprise, mom!" who does not take it well and is like "since when have you ever been unhappy or complained about your life, why would you let Ayame put you up to this" and also "yes duh you are literally just a tool for me to use is there? some kind of problem here??" and Yuki's all "well I have been dealt a mortal blow, not only am I not going to be allowed to get away with my scheme but even my mom doesn't believe I'm a real person and also my words and thoughts and feelings are literally powerless, guess I'll just never speak again." Except it feels a lot less melodramatic and more desperate from his end of things.

But all is not lost! Because even though Haru begged Shigure to get Yuki out of the Main House, and Shigure probably went along with it solely half for the lulz and half because it fit into his curse-weakening scheme and not at all because of Yuki as a person, it must be noted--we specifically see Yuki breaking his spiral just long enough to beg Shigure himself with his own words. Shigure has presented himself, and Yuki is trying to use what is available to him! Get him the fuck out of here.

So Yuki moves in with Shigure. Yuki goes to a normal people high school. Yuki decides to pretend to be a real normal person! It doesn't really work because people at Kaibara are weird about how gorgeous and high-class Yuki is and put him up on an isolating pedestal, and because of his life experience Yuki can only assume this is because they hate him and he sucks, not because they are all incapacitated with weird idolized love for him. Oh well!

Then one day one of Yuki's classmates just...shows up outside his house one morning? Like okay then what the fuck? But Yuki realizes...he can make the best of this! Shigure has probably introduced him to rom-coms by now, and if not, at least Yuki remembers the things he has envied from his childhood. Yuki is going to walk to school together with this girl and they will become friends maybe.

But as I said, our girl done Yuki dirty in that ep 1. Tohru, the person most likely to keep an entire conversation going the whole walk to school, even if it's most about her mom, even if it's a little weird. Tohru, the person who instantly friends everyone, even if they don't friend her back. Tohru…

...gets exactly as weird as everyone else at school, gets incapacitated by Yuki being good-looking, and doesn't say a single thing the entire way to school. Yuki and Tohru don't form an instant magical friendship bond. Tohru doesn't even share a single mom wisdom. Tohru. Our Tohru.

Yuki's bad at giving up. He tries to talk to Tohru again after school when she runs into him again. It doesn't go any better because basically all Tohru says is "Gosh I love Kyou he's the best zodiac." Like okay you seem nice or whatever but your taste is shit???

And then...Yuki reaches his peak assertive stubbornness. He runs into Tohru a third time on like that same day. Third time is the charm. Tohru is homeless and needs a place to live and apparently won't just, like, talk to her family or friends about it. Yuki's not a bad person but, like Shigure, I don't think he's doing this solely for Tohru. Yes they have a spare room but I think he's partly like "fuck the main estate, I go to a co-ed school I can even live with girls if I want!" and also partly like "OKAY SO WALKING TO SCHOOL DIDN'T WORK BUT I KNOW, I KNOW HOW ROM COMS GO, I HAVE WATCHED AN ANIME AND READ A MANGA, IF I JUST TELL HONDA SHE LIVES HERE NOW BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A TENT ANYMORE, WE CAN'T NOT BECOME FRIENDS. YOU CAN'T JUST NOT BECOME FRIENDS LIVING IN AN IMPROPERLY SUPERVISED HOUSE TOGETHER IN HIGH SCHOOL BECAUSE OF WACKY CIRCUMSTANCES. I'M GOING TO FINALLY GET SOCIALIZED."

(and what do you know, it finally fricken works)