#anyway idk there's just a lot of lines/whatever i wrote that i really like and i want people to read

[eggmeralda]

just woke up from the best film I've ever watched in my life only to realise it was a dream

[williamvapespeare]

"every day i'm fucking smiling;" a rant (cogent, intellectual character study) about Charles

We all know that Charles Rowland is THE character of all time. Obviously. Undisputedly (except by Netflix) blabla. I, a mixed race bisexual idiot with daddy issues, am about to fucking get into it.

I think there are a lot of ways to get into that end of ep 4 scene – I think we can look from trauma, we can look from model minority syndrome, we can look from a place of people pleasing to the extreme, but I think the best way to get into Charles (for me, personally) is to look at him as a character formed of intersections. Of in-betweens. In literally EVERY way possible, he is between things. He’s mixed race, he’s (probably) bisexual, he’s between life and death, he’s between good and bad, he’s probably sitting somewhere between trauma and healing – like, he’s CONstantly engaging in coping mechanisms and that itself is an in between.

Ok this idea of “I must be liked” very obviously will come from living a life where the opposite of not being liked is always violence, and that definitely can’t be understated. But I think this whole scene and this line in particular really speak to this very specific feeling that comes with inhabiting an identity that is ALWAYS seen as “not enough” in some way. Like, if you sit in a place where you don’t speak one side of your family’s language well enough and simultaneously aren’t white enough (or whatever enough) for the other side, you’re just like fundamentally culture-less and fighting to just be ANYTHING.

(Another GREAT example of this I think is the game Life is Strange 2, which is about two Hispanic American brothers, one of them speaks Spanish and the other one is much younger and doesn’t and there’s a bit where the younger brother doesn’t want to leave the US and says “I don’t even speak Spanish” and the other one is like “don’t worry, everyone likes you.” Like YES being “““Likeable””” is maybe the only way in when you are so fundamentally detached from a thing that you are also fundamentally part of, anyway!!)

Similarly, like all of us bisexual people know we’re constantly getting shit from both sides, from straight people and gay people and probably like, corpses decomposing in the ground who are throwing around terms like “gold star lesbian” or whatever the fuck. People just look at whatever relationship you’re in and they’re like ah yep that’s you!!

Like the whole thing is the most reductive narrow-minded stupidity, but it’s also just THE WAY. It’s the way of stuff. And being like ok, I AM NOT ENOUGH OF ANYTHING THAT I AM. How are you going to deal with that, you’re going to try and be likeable?? Because that’s something you can control!!!

And I’m low key so mad that we can’t see a continuation of this story where we get to see a character slowly come to terms with these in-betweennesses and say like, I’m not actually two halves, I’m two wholes. This is intentional in-betweenness. Like yes, blabla let the boy be bi, but it’s SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. And I trust this show and I trust these writers to get that right and we were robbed of that.

So yeah idk tldr “every day I’m fucking smiling” was like the gut punch of the century. Whoever wrote that I’m omw to haunt your local Denny’s with my extroverted mixed race bisexual energy THANK U

[cheapshrimpysheep]

Hii!!! I want to say how much I love your blog!!! From the aesthetic to the writing everything is just so cute and enjoyable!! I also love how you write Jamil personally hehe.

Idk if you still have your requests open buttttt I have a fluff idea for the basketball club :) the boys want to invite their (freshly obtained) partner!reader to a pretty important basketball match but ✨circumstances✨ happen (anything you can think of really) and they end up not saying anything to them about it. But on the day of the match their partner shows up anyway fully dressed in cheerleading attire, facepaint, pompoms, loudly cheering for them (embarassing them a lil but in a wholesome way y'know ❤️) maybe you can write some post match fluff?

Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us!! It's a delight to read it all!!

COMMENTS: Awww, thank you 🥰 It so happens that I identify a lot with Jamil (perhaps even too much). And maybe that's also why I had never thought of writing an MC that, let's say, out-going? Because a shy person like me would never do that cheerleading thing in public at least. 😅 But I wrote it. 😉

Btw: That cheerleading thing doesn't exist in my country so the only things I know about it are whatever I saw in american movies. But in return, I played basketball for 3 years when I was younger. So in that regard I know a few things.

I hope you and all enjoy 🏀

PS: I was waiting for Floyd's basketball card to come to the english server to write something with them. I still want to do it, in addition to this one.

CHARACTERS: Basketball Club (Ace, Floyd & Jamil)

TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader; Established Relationship; Kissing

WARNING: Spoilers from Ace's and Floyd's Basketball Jersey Lines

WORD COUNT: An average of 500 words per character.

🏀❤️🏀🦈🏀🐍🏀

Ace really wanted to invite you to the game, but in the meantime, he got into some misbehavior issues and spent the whole time trying to make sure Coach Vargas wasn't going to ban him from playing.

He ended up forgetting to invite you, as it wouldn't make sense to do it without being sure he was going to play. He sends you a message at the last minute and that's why he doesn't even know if you'll make it.

I can see him dating a more outgoing person, so let's go that route. You appear in the game, yes, dressed in cheerleading attire alongside Cater and Deuce. Cater because I can see him doing that for being great for magicam. And Deuce because he really wants NRC to win.

While he is overjoyed to see you and thinks this is an excellent opportunity to show himself off to you, he is also a little embarrassed by the attention you are diverting to him.

We also go the route where they win. While the players are celebrating, they go to you and the rest of the cheerleading group. Ace runs up to you and hugs you so happily he lifts you off your feet. And in the midst of happiness he kisses your lips, while holding you.

He did it on the spur of the moment, and when he realizes what he's done, he's extremely embarrassed. Great chances of Floyd messing with him for that.

If someone from the opposing team starts looking at you while he is not with you, he will say with a smirk: “Can look, but not touch, you hear me?”

Before the players go to shower, Ace asked you to wait for him behind the gymnasium. It was already night. You were waiting outside and after a while you got distracted. When he goes outside and sees you distracted, he sneaked up on you and hugged you from behind. And kisses your cheek.

“Hey, what do you say to a celebration party tomorrow~? Trey said he's going to make cupcakes shaped like basketballs. Isn't that cool?” and then you hear him moan in pain softly and for a second.

You had felt his fingers curl a little when you heard that. And you remembered that one day he commented to you that his fingers get sprained all the time when he is playing. That it hurts to bend them. After a game like that, they must be hurting a lot then.

You take his hands. “Ouch...” you bring them to your lips, and kiss them softly. You tell him you could take care of him. “I deserve that, don't I?~” he says and goes back to kissing your cheek affectionately.

Floyd really wanted to invite you to the game, but in the meantime, on the one hand, the Coach Vargas wanted him to train even more. Being the tallest, the coach had high expectations for him (pun not intended). And on the other hand, Azul wanted to do something special at Mostro Lounge, as a lot of people from off campus would come to watch the game and it was an opportunity to have more customers.

Sometimes he had fun doing these things. And when he didn't want to do them, he preferred to be left alone. This plus the fact that he thought that: "since you are his partner now, isn't it already implied that you're going to watch the game?” made him end up not inviting you officially.

Jade is the one who reminds you on the day of the game. Since it was an important game, you wanted to do something special for Floyd. And taking advantage of this, Azul suggests that you come to the game dressed in cheerleading attire. This type of incentive can increase their chances of winning the game and consequently the chances of increasing customers at Mostro Lounge. And if you don't want to do it alone, don't worry, at least Cater, Deuce and Kalim will be doing the same alongside you.

I definitely can see Floyd with an outgoing partner. All of his colleagues were worried because he seemed unenthusiastic. And if he continues like this, he might not even want to play properly and that would make them lose the game for sure. And what's worse is that they couldn't even complain about it or risk getting their asses kicked.

When the game starts, what they feared most was happening. He didn't feel like playing. Which also made the opposing team not worry too much about Floyd. Fortunately, a couple of minutes after the game starts, he hears you cheering him on. He looks at you dressed in cheerleading attire and his mood changes radically. “Koebi-chan~!” He waves at you with his cutest smile. Before turning to the opponents with a sadistic smile. Now he wants to play.

The one the players on the other team thought was a drag on NRC has suddenly become the most powerful athlete in the game. To the point that the opponent who was chosen to block him was afraid to do so. And the one chosen to be blocked by Floyd (who happened to be the strongest player on the opposing team) did his best not to keep the ball too long.

He usually gets expelled from the game before it's over, but this was a big one and you were rooting for him. He had to stay until the end! So he behaved and tried to make as few fouls as possible.

Hardly in these conditions NRC would lose. So they win! If during their celebration, someone from the opposing team starts looking at you. Floyd first smiles at them. "Pretty, right?" and then put on that scary straight face "Well, it's not for your eyes."

When he comes to you because you are all celebrating together, he will pick you up. “You look so cute dressed like that.” He tells to you. If there are kisses, they will be yours on his cheeks.

Before the players go to shower, Floyd asked you to wait for him behind the gymnasium. It was already night. You were waiting outside and after a while you got distracted. When he goes outside and sees you distracted, he sneaked up on you. And behind you, he whispers in your ear: “Baa~”

You turn and he picks you up again so that your faces are level. Your noses are touching. “Hey~ Came to Mostro Lounge with me. I'm not in the mood to celebrate without you. And I can get Azul to give you your favourite for free. Isn't that a good deal~?”

He's not much for kissing your lips in front of others, so he only does it now.

Jamil really wanted to invite you to the game, but between babysitting, I mean, looking after Kalim and training for the game, he ended up not even getting to spend time with you.

Honestly, I don't see Jamil with a very outgoing partner. Since it could be like a Kalim 2.0 for him. But I certainly see Kalim going to you, already dressed in cheerleading attire himself and dragging you to dress like that too and go cheering Jamil and the others alongside him.

Because of Kalim, you two end up being a little late and when you arrive the game has already started. And Jamil had just scored. Kalim (and maybe you too) shout to congratulate Jamil. He looks at you two and is immediately flattered, shocked and embarrassed. Not because of you, but because he doesn't like to draw attention to himself, nor to have others draw attention to him that way.

Unfortunately his performance drops slightly. Until he overhears an opposing player commenting on you. At that moment, he manages to take the ball away from the opposing team, run to the basket and score.

This made him realize two things: first, your cheering the made the whole team’s morale shot up. And second, It’s also slightly distracting the opposing team. Genial!

Whenever he scores and you celebrate, he gets flattered and embarrassed but smiles at you discreetly.

They end up winning! While the players are celebrating, they go to you and the rest of the cheerleading group. He walks towards you, but is intercepted by Kalim, who hugs him. And it's only a few seconds later that he looks at you, looks at Jamil, smiles awkwardly and breaks the hug.

But more awkward than he is, you two are. Jamil doesn't like public displays of affection, so at first you don't even know what to do our say. You end up saying: "Congratulations on the victory" at the same time as he says "thanks for the cheering". And you two giggle.

Before the players go to shower, Jamil asked you to wait for him behind the gymnasium. It was already night. You were waiting outside and after a while you got distracted. He greets you as soon as he sees you and walks towards you.

He opens his arms, inviting you to hug him. And you do it. “Sorry I didn't thank you properly after the game.” He places his index and thumb on your chin, tilting it up and bringing his face closer to yours. “But now I can.” he whisper and kisses your lips.

“*Sigh* I really don't want to go back to Scarabia  and put up with Kalim's party spirit.” He hugs you around the waist and gently places you against the wall. “So would you celebrate with me a little while before I have to go?”

If you dropped in here out of the blue and want to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

[thebibliosphere]

hello, this is just me kinda sharing unsolicited Batman related feelings that i’m wallowing in, don’t mind me

i started playing Gotham Knights after seeing a few of your posts about it, and i’ve had a bit of a Batman/Justice League/Batfam fixation for the past few weeks. i was enjoying it! the environments were interesting and the combat was cool, and i loved listening to whatever Alfred had to say.

however, i made the mistake of finding Gotham Cemetery as Nightwing and thinking, “wait, is Bruce…?”, followed my gamer instincts (which is usually something along the lines of “follow the lights”), and ended up climbing to a higher vantage point to see if i could spot Bruce’s grave.

welp, all i had to do was spin the camera a little and oh. i’m standing next it. my boy Dick is already standing next to his father’s grave. it’s cleaner, newer than the surrounding headstones, there’s fresh flowers on it, and the rain made for a scene that kinda wrote itself.

somehow that hit me harder than the video Bruce left behind, harder than the funeral. i got so sad i had to quit the game and start reading some Batman comics :’) i wasn’t expecting me the player to also process grief along with all the characters, damn.

anyway, hope you’re having an awesome day!

Oh man, yeah. I did the same thing and then spent a lot of time walking through the cemetery, looking at all the names. I really liked that they carved Wayne Tower out of his stone so that when you look through it at a certain angle, you can see the Gotham skyline through his headstone. (And then the game dragged me back there later for one of Dick's cutscenes, and I went through all the stages of grief all over again. I had a similar reaction to Barbara visiting her father's monument. I won't spoil it, but man. Man.)

The makeshift memorial outside Wayne Tower also left a lump in my throat the first time I saw it. As did the #ThankYouBruce hashtag they have on the electronic billboards showing Bruce's face in profile against the city.

IDK, just something about the idea of Dick having to walk past that every time he gets dragged into a shareholder meeting fucks me up.

The game has many issues, but its ability to wring every emotion known to man and some kaleidoscopic ones only known to shrimp out of my jaded husk of a soul is not one of them.

I hope you continue to enjoy playing it! And take breaks. I ended up mainlining an entire season of Wayne Family Adventures after I finished my first playthrough 😅

[cupiohearts]

I WISH YOU LOVE ! - reminiscing with gun.

(cant catch me now series). GUN VER. dg ver. goo ver

they see you everywhere. james, jonggun, joongoo. they find bits and pieces of you lying around in their pockets, their houses and memories. it depends on which one it is which scene they see you in.

for GUN, he cant figure out for the life of anyone why they would wish someone that moved on in life the best of luck. he was a selfish man. when you disappeared from him, he mutters bitterly to himself wishing curses upon your name. the tear drops on the letter you wrote to him being the symbolism behind it all.

why would he want you to do well without him? why did you have to leave him?

did you not care as much as you said you did? he furrows his eyebrow. taking another drag out of his cigarette while he watches the stupid couple on the street pick out matching items for each other.

"jonggun! jonggun! look come here! hurry up!" you hiss at him as you press your face against the glass of a window. it was the pet adoption center. a calico cat taking a nap in the window as you cood at it.

that was the ugliest cat hes ever seen. it's eyes looked a bit too similar to the one you always give him when you want him to do something ridiculous for you.

"its cute" he gruffly says. you raise an eyebrow at him and made a face "youre a big fat liar. when we grow old with joongoo and james! we should all get a cat together!"

you giggle as you wiggled your finger at the cat. your breath fogging up the glass and when you pulled away he could see a slight bit of lipgloss- or lip tint- or whatever you were wearing on your lips that left it all glossy and shimmery left on the window.

he didnt say anything about it. he probably shouldve. you left the window dirty with your makeup. the same lips he imagined himself kissing from to time.

he thinks again. gun is a selfish man. when he read the letter you gave him, he thinks to himself for a far longer period of time than what he would appreciate.

he picks up the small camera you left behind in your apartment. he kept it with him for some reason. it was to keep videos and photos of yourself so he wont forget all of the times hes had with you.

"gun stop! stop! stop- what in the world happened here?!" your voice can be heard from behind the camera. the camera work a bit shaky as you walk closer to the restaurant.

there were a lot of bodies on the floor. a lot. "did you take them all down by yourself?" you ask him. you already knew the answer. he didnt need to respond but he did "yes"

you let out a deep sigh "this was supposed to be a cute video! you just ruined it. i wanted to send my mom and dad videos of me while im still here!"

you never sent it. he almost wished you did. so your parents knew what your friends were in korea. gangsters hanging out with the most.. sane one. sane is a strong word. hed think more like you were the glue.

you held everyone together, but at the same time. you were the one keeping them in the past.

that wasnt what he thought as he read your note though.

while he reading the shaky lines with splotchy text. the tears you left on the paper made it all crumbly and the words were hard to read.

he could only wish you the worst time without him. you better not be happier than you were with him. thats how you made him feel. he felt like the vines growing around the fence around you. his growth was hindered by the boundaries you had. if you werent there, he wouldve probably never grown in the first place, but you were also the reason he couldnt get better.

even as he read the lines 'jongun, you are the one who destroyed me the most.' he felt a small smile come to his face. he really is the most selfish person he knew.

sooooo... im here. I DID THE SECONDPARTY YIPPEE 😋😋 is it messy idk

i havent proof read so im assuming its ok. if its ooc mb brother.

their personalities are hard to capture anyways live laufh love the lookism blondes <3 the hottest in the game frl

[pencileraser1]

things i noticed/thoughts about most recent rewatches of dps (plus laserdisk deleted scenes):

whenever theres a group scene i've started watching the characters that the story isn't focusing on to see what they do and i've been having a fun time with that. pitts and cameron specifically seem to almost always be doing something interesting in the background.

hopkins!!!! my favorite minor character who somehow got character development despite having like 2 lines!!!! the last guy to stand on the desk but he did it!!!

sometimes i do like to think about what the rest of the students thought about the dead poets society, esp in alternate timeline neil lives dps keeps meeting universe. like yeah theres this guy in their class whose one of the most credited students in the school and we think he maybe started a cult. idk though. but that group runs out into the woods every few days to do god knows what and one of them keeps talking about "dead poets honor" whatever that means and holy shit welton star student neil perry started a cult.

i watched the movie with headphones. and maybe it's because ive seen this movie Far too many times and mabe i'm listening too hard but it was Really obvious sometimes when audio was added in post production. llke in the sweaty toothed madman scene when you can hear laughing and to be fair the camera is behind their heads. but it does Not look like anyone's laughing. my favorite is at the end of the phone call to chris scene where knox is like i'm gonna seize the day!! and runs up the stairs and the poets are cheering him on and neil is sort of yelling "carpe!!!!" and i could be wrong but i'm like 75% certain that the person singing is Also rsl so now neil is just speaking two times at once somehow. anyways it didn't ruin the experience for me or anything it was maybe just a little bit funny to notice but very sorry if this did ruin anyone's viewing.

people talk a lot about how rsl and ethan hawke really made their characters what they are but i have to add dylan kussman to that list. I get the impression that older versions of the movie didn't really give as much depth to cameron and watching dylan kussmans performance is like. he Knew who his character was so fucking well and it shows!! like the deleted scene of them getting clubs assigned. like i could tell So Much about cameron from that scene

for how little she actually appeared, there is an emphasis put on the fact that neil's mom smokes pretty frequently. and i think that's interesting considering neil is one of two poets shown actively smoking. neil's mom doesn't appear for very long in the movie but during that time it definitely seems like the movie is intentionally making parallels between the two, particularly in the last argument with neil's father. neil and his mother are both sitting for almost the whole time, which contrasts with his father who is standing. they are both almost powerless in this scene. they stand up at almost the same time. anyways there's a couple different possibilities for what this could mean? that i've though of? 1. to show that neil's mother is in a similar situation to the one neil is in in regards to neil's father and 2. maybe a stretch here but the theory that neil inherited his mental illness at least partially from his mother. i'm pretty sure 1 was fully intentional on the directors part, not entirely sure about 2 though

unmanned flying desket scene: it's probably cause he and ethan wrote the scene themselves but the way rsl talks in this scene feels more like the way he talks in general than the rest of the script. like briefly neil perry is talking in rsl's voice. one of my absolute favorite scenes though the sarcastic dialogue is so good.

the light of knowledge at the first shot of the film vs. todd standing on his desk at the last shot of the film paralel

[agarthanguide]

I just realized that Deanna looks like smol Gina Torres, who is my #1 Space Mom. Was that on purpose? What was the direction from Aabria? How does the process of creating the guests’ art compare to what you do with the main cast?

It was not intentional!  Aabria was pretty descriptive about Deanna, but I’d say Deanna actually has a lot of influence from animation, more than real life markers.  In fact, she was getting so far from realism that I consciously stepped up and chose to hyper-render the knitted and textile elements to see if I could ground her, a little. But her features- her big eyes, her button nose, her heavily defined curls- and her proportions are simply not realistic enough to meaningfully reference a human.  That being said, I’m hugely flattered that anything I’ve ever drawn could make someone think of Gina Torres, who is actually my wife (I share her with tens of thousands of others who also have immaculate taste).

As for guest processes- they are all very different, but I can honestly say that the Dimension 20 kids are like- they are succinct, descriptive, flexible, and fast.  They are honestly such pros.  I thought it was an Aabria thing- I remember thinking- oh, she must make 5 characters a week, and she’s so good at YesAnd-ing, I’m sure that this is a one-off experience with an amazing player (this was during Laerryn).  But then Emily and Lou and (half of) Erika were exactly the same!  IDK if that’s because they are ALSO hyper-prolific and well practiced, or if this is circumstance, but it was Notable.

As a general rule, I’d say that the guest characters are faster than the main cast, but I think that’s just because they aren’t gearing up to inhabit that character for potentially years, so they don’t need to feel complete comfort the way a long-term player would.  It’s not because they care less, or because I care less.  The actual lining/rendering has the same level of effort.

The only person who really freaked me out was Utkarsh/Bor’dor, because he had a really intense description, but then deferred to my opinion on like most things (actually, just clothing. Utkarsh was pretty specific about things like face and hair and eyes and expression).  And I didn’t know anything about him, but I was pretty sure something was up with him, so I wrote a list of things that could be changed at the drop of a hat, in case the story went that way.  And then I sat for weeks worrying about it and wondering if I should like... paint in glowing eyes, or a version with his cape thrown back revealing... something!  Or whatever!

But honestly, I think the fact that ultimately he was a carefully constructed terrified kid who was then thrown into rags by a stranger was... pretty on the nose, actually.  Sad, right?

Anyway, Aabria rocks.  Very hard.

[eri-pl]

Yay! I remembered to pick the right blog to post to!

So, I was thinking about Annatar,

probably because of all the gifs and stuff, I wish you all happy watching, but I was thinking about Anntar in the book. Anyway. There's one angle that seems underexplored to me. Long post below cut, no ships except those burned at Losgar. Sorry if you had hopes. ;)

He's more or less openly claiming to be an emissary of the Valar. And he is approaching various Noldor. Especially Celebrimbor (the last* living descendant of Feanor) and Galadriel (iirc banned from returning after War of Wrath per special exception for being an unrepentant jerk? Or am I misremembering?)

\* However, Annatar approaching Maglor on the beach and getting blast away with just a few notes and flying a few miles and landing in mud, is a wonderful image to ponder. Yes, I know, Sauron + duels of song = bad… but Finrod relied on skill, not on infrasound + centuries of repressed rage. :)

Anyway, back to Celebrimbor.

Imagine: Your grandfather rebelled against the Valar, swore a blasphemous oath and died. Your father did the same, but with more mass murders in the meantime. The Valar have rejected your family long, long ago. And now someone comes, an emissary.

How anxious Celebrimbor must have been. A lot depends on what exactly happenned with Celebrimbor at the War of Wrath, what Eonwë told him (probably nothing, he's not a HR guy, he's a warrior, he wouldn't think it necessary to talk indyvidually to that one Noldo, and Celebrimbor was afraid to ask), was he allowed to return (I assume yes, because why not, but he was either too insecure or... idk, hoping to find his uncle?) and so on.

Or maybe it's like with Galadriel: he didn't return after the WoW and believes that now it's too late?

I'm sure Annatar comforts him. (No, you can't return just yet, you have an important task to do here). I'm sure he assures Celebrimbor that the Valar still remember Middle Earth and still remember him. Or… maybe not?

Maybe it's more half-truths? Maybe it's more along the lines of "technically i shouldn't be here, but I pity the Elves who stayed here, and you especially and I chose to help regardless". Maybe it's more of "You have a lot of baggage, and I do have some things that I'm not proud of, but if we work together to fix the world, we both can be forgiven". Maybe a part of Sauron even believes in this.

One way or another, the topic of Feanorian legacy must be an important thread here, and not only in the aspect of "my grandfather was a great craftsman" but also, maybe even moreso, "my grandfather rejected the Valar and Annatar still wants to work with me regardless of that".

Also, I am absolutely certain that, after he opened up more and trusted Annatar a bit more, Celebrimbor at one point asked (probably very indirectly, because that is a really hard question for him to ask), "Is my father in the Halls, or—"

And I suppose that whatever story Sauron came up with, this very well may have been one of the reasons why Celebrimbor did not fully trust him. This is a perfect conversation topic to notice someone lacks empathy and, well, goodness.

But anyway, I really wish someone wrote a fic with those conversations. Especially with Celebrimbor daring to ask about the fate of the Feanorians. And what the Everlasting Darkness even is.

But also about others who stayed in aman or died. About his mother, whoever she was. His grandmother Nerdanel. There would be a lot of questions for Sauron to avoid and slither around.

Or maybe it was somwhat the other way around?

Maybe Annatar, in his kindness of course, asked a lot about Curufin, about Feanor. (Of course not at the start of their relationship, but as they get to know each other better… I assume Celebrimbor did open up enough to talk that). About how Celebrimbor feels, of course, how he is coping and so on, all the emotionally inteligent, helpful questions... What the Darkness is, where did Feanor get this idea, how was he able to craft an Oath so strong, so binding, where to find that power he called upon— How does it feel to be compared to Feanor all the time, how would it feel to finally be equal to him in greatness (Annatar of course can make this happen).

Darkness that binds. Darkness that calls, that never forgets. That gathers and never lets go. Darkness that binds.

Or (hmmm, this is starting to blend into crack territory) at some point of his cooperation with Annatar, among talks of his father and his terrible fate, there came into Celebrimbor's mind a thought of freing him, of freeing all the family. After all, who could invent a way to get someone back from the Void Everlasting Darkness, if not the heir of the House of Feanor?

This… could be an interesting starting point for a fic.

[daily-singularity]

Hello. I am here to ask you about their paralells and how insane they make you. Pretty please... you're the only one feeding us the good food...

Going insane. white knuckling my pen and paper. I will do my best to make this coherent, apologies in advance if its a mess!!

In the simplest terms both Gabriel and Hux are carbon copy assembly line units created by Huxlee industries for the purpose of colonizing planets and prolonging the human race.

Gabriel is a tool just as much as the Huxlee units are.

"Each individual was manufactured for a different societal function... The idea was to create a functional society that would operate flawlessly." - Gabriel Soma BIO

"Unlike human clones, the HUX-A7 required no food, no water, no sleep, and no life support system. It was created specifically for outer space exploration and the construction of colonization hubs." - HUX-A7-13 BIO

Gabriel was specifically designed by Huxlee for planet colonization. Outside of his time on Dvarka, I gather that Gabriel was in a permanent deep sleep/cryostatis. All of his memories of his family and childhood are fabrications- he has no real life or directives or experiences outside of his work on Dvarka.

---

Both were under the threat of termination, or reprogramming should they fall out of line.

"Dmitri’s not trying to help… he’s trying to get me to stop asking questions. What does he know? What’s he hiding?" - Tome 16, Memory 2998 (Gabriel Soma)

"It remembers its objective. It must assist the crew in terraforming Dvarka. Failure to do so will result in termination."- Tome 16, Memory 2665 (Hux-a7-13)

When Gabriel first starts noticing discrepancies in his memories, his crew's medic writes off his issues as "problems that dont exist", and gives him a drug that fogs up his senses. Its a clear attempt to force him back into subservience, a message of "Stop digging or else".

We're never able to find out what would happen to Gabriel if it became known that he found out about the fact hes a clone, but I gather he would be removed from the project. Terminated so he wouldn't spread panic.

--

After Gabriel finds out about the fact he's a clone, it's a lot harder to get more direct info on his mentality, since thats where his Memory archives end.

Neither of them have much experience with free will.

Due to the fact that both Gabriel and Hux were taken by the entity near immediately after learning they were a clone/gained sentience, it isnt much of a stretch to say that neither of them have experience with a sense of individuality.

Gabriel learns that his entire life has been a fabricated lie and then is immeidately shoved into a killing game. He doesn't really get that chance to come to terms with who and what he is before having to fight for his life.

Hux on the other hand, had more time to digest his new worldview. He was able to start forming his own desires and wants even if they were as simple as "Kill the inferior human worms who created me", or abstract as wanting to "the remake the universe in my image over infinate lifetimes"- whatever the fuck that means Hux. Its really unfortunate that he barely begins to form these desires before theyre all stripped away from him and he is once again forced into subservience.

---

I was gonna put like idk an insightful little footnote here, but i spent absolutely way to long writing this post. Anyways. Gabriel and hux are both tools struggling with a sense of self while being forced to kill or be killed.

Also. can Behavior please fucking explain to me why Gabriel was waxing poetic about the beauty and godliness of the machine that he watched slowly kill his entire crew, like goddamn ogling that machine, then he exploded it. and then like. went "ok damn still godlike."

I just wanna talk with whoever wrote this please. what was. what does this mean. i need to know.

"It had fabricated a new body for itself. Part flesh. Part silicon. Part human. Part machine. Massive. Powerful. Beautiful and majestic like—

An ancient God."

"Gabe raced across the meadow and into the forest. When he looked back, he saw the HUX emerge from the flames and smoke. Burning. Melting. Shrieking. Deformed. Terrible and wrathful like—

An ancient God"

[loubouskz]

strange things happen

han jisung x thick!fem!reader

description: tour just ended, and they were going back home. jisung should be happy and excited but can't help but be in his head. when he's told about the backrooms, he didn't really think he'd end up there, nor did he think he would meet a girl too. but then again, the strangest things happen to good people.

genre: strangers to lovers, the backrooms

warning: SMUT!, pov changes a few times, foggy in head space, anxiety fear, mentions of meditation, insomnia(in text but not mentioned), crying, panic attack, passing out, body insecurity, jisung being a sweetheart, somewhat fear of water, yelling, overthinking, kissing, making out, slight marking kink, oral(both receiving), the smallest bit of dirty talk, creampie

wc: 8.8k(somewhat proof-read)

a/n: idk why I wrote this!🤣 I just couldn't shake the thought of it, so I had to write it and now I absolutely love it. I tried my best to explain the levels they were in, basing it off the game: The Complex: Backrooms Found Footage. I think I did okay. tho choosing what skz member to write it for was hard but ended up choosing jisung. anyway, I hope you enjoy this! I would love to hear your guys feedback!❤️❤️

taglist: @hgema @jisunglyricist

--------

“what? you two honestly don’t believe in that stuff, right?” minho asked, placing his drink down. jisung hadn’t been listening to the conversation and looked around the dinner table. he saw everyone laughing and enjoying dinner while he was off wandering around in his head. the hyung line(besides minho who was sitting next to jisung) were finished eating and up and doing their own thing. while the maknae line were still sat at the table. they had just finished tour and were having a celebratory dinner party with the whole staff and crew.

“you never know what could be real minho.” jeongin said, shrugging his shoulders. jisung scrunched his eyebrows. “what are we talking about?” he asked, looking around the table. “the backrooms.” felix answered, leaning into the table. “what’s that?” he asked, poking around at his food. jisung didn’t really feel hungry, just more tired than anything. all he wanted to do was go to the hotel and sleep. 

“the backrooms are like an urban legend. its were you noclip out of our everyday world filled with people to a liminal space. there’s different areas or levels. the most famous one being this.” felix said, showing jisung a photo. an open room with yellow wallpaper and fluorescent lighting. “there’s been a lot of short films and documentaries to come out recently about it.” jeongin said. “but they’re fake.” seungmin cut in. “we don’t know that.” jeongin said, turning his head to seungmin. “basically you end up there, and you go through the levels to find a way out.” felix said. “that’s creepy.” jisung said as the two boys continued to show and tell him more about the backrooms.

the more felix and jeongin talked about the backrooms, the more fear set in jisung’s head. minho was starting to worry about him. “okay boys! i think that’s enough, let’s go enjoy this party before everyone gets too tired.” minho said, pushing his chair back to stand up. giving the two younger boys a stare, basically to say. shut the fuck up right now. everyone followed minho to the dance floor and processed to have a fun night. dancing the night away.

jisung could feel his body dancing to whatever song was playing. but he kept going back and forth in his head and being present while dancing. his brain had felt foggy for the last few days. even more now since the idea of the backrooms being real. he knows he shouldn’t believe it, but he can’t help it. the idea of being stuck and alone, going in endless loops, trying to find a way out…it scared him.

the party seemed to end quickly. though two hours had passed, it felt like six minutes. everyone cleaned up the areas that were messed up, and in a blink of an eye, jisung was in the van on the way back to the hotel. he doesn’t remember getting in the van and doesn’t even try to either. jisung took a deep breath and looked out the window. seeing the bright lights of the streetlamps and neon signs for the clubs, bushes and trees blurring at the speed. jisung just wanted to sleep. that’s all he needed. it had been a very long day, and he was ready for it to be over.

once in his shared hotel room. jisung took a long hot shower to relax his nerves. though he really didn’t do anything during the shower. he just stood under the water, forehead pressed against the cold wall till the water ran cold. jisung looked at himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth for the night. he felt like he was seeing himself in third-person, and his body felt like a shell. he couldn’t understand why he was feeling like this. he’s been taking his medicine, never missing a day or night. jisung turned off the light and exited the bathroom. he removed his towel and put on a pair of boxers and his pajama pants on. not bothering to put on the matching shirt. 

he climbed into the bed and turned off his side lamp, ready for bed.  “you okay ji?” he heard minho voice ask. jisung turned his head and smiled at minho. “yeah, i’m fine man. just really tired and ready to sleep. can you turn off your light as well?” jisung said to him. minho gave a worried face but did what jisung asked with a nod. “if you need someone to talk and listen to you, you know you can talk to me. right, jisung?” minho asked out in the dark. jisung nodded his head, then remembered the lights were off. “i know. nothing’s wrong. i promise.” he said out loud before yawning. “night minho.” jisung said in a tired voice. “good night, jisung.” minho responded back.

why wasn’t sleep coming to him. jisung laid awake in the dark, staring at the ceiling. his arms under his head. his mind and body had felt tired. he wanted to sleep, so why wasn’t it coming to him. he didn’t want to toss around too much, scared that he would wake up minho. the one thing he didn’t want to do was worry him even more. so jisung stayed still and waited for sleep to take him. but it never did, he watched as the sun came up and heard the city become loud and full of life again. he heard minho starting to wake up. jisung turned over and closed his eyes, pretending to sleep.

he heard minho get out of bed and walk over to him. shaking him to wake up. “wake up. we have to get to the airport.” minho said. jisung pretended to stir awake and sat up. “what time is it?” jisung asked. “6:43am. now come on and got to get dressed and packed.”

just like last night everything seemed to move fast but slow at the same time. jisung was dressed in his outfit for the day. a white loose fit tee, his black jacket, black baggy pants with his sneakers, dad cap, and face mask. when he blinked and looked up he at the international airport, everybody was ready to go home. he waved to the flashing cameras and stays that were there.

the group made their way through the airport, doing everything they needed to do to get to their gate in time. once they were there, got their tickets scanned and passports looked at. jisung was the last one. when he looked up to continue to board the plane, everyone was so far ahead of him. he doesn’t want to say he freaked out a little, feeling like he was getting left behind even though they were all on the same flight. but that is exactly what he felt. like his flight or fight response kicked in. he secured his carryon and jogged to catch up to the rest of his members, but the more steps he stook, the further they got. “hey chan wait up!” jisung called out to his leader, then he tripped and fell down. 

jisung closed his eyes and waited for the impact of the floor, but it didn’t come. he felt the wind starting to pick up. he opened his eyes and being to panic. this has to be a dream. jisung was free falling in the sky. he couldn’t do anything but scream and cry as the city buildings got closer and closer. he closed his eyes once again, waiting for death to hit him.

then he hit a carpeted floor, but not hard but definitely enough to make a thud sound…like he tripped and fell. jisung pushed himself up onto his knees and saw where he was. just like the picture felix had shown him.

open room, yellow walls, and fluorescent lights. he was in the backrooms.

no no no no this cannot be happening. “i’m dreaming. i must be dreaming.” jisung said as he did everything he could think of to wake himself up. he pinched his arm. hit his leg. slapped his cheek. hell, he even stood up and ran into one of the walls near him and fell down. “ow.” jisung said. falling onto his butt with his head hurting. jisung didn’t know what to do. he busted into tears as he ran. ran and ran. he felt like he was going in circles. everything looked the same! this can’t be real. he stopped and thought for a quick second where he should go. he yanked his face mask off. took a deep breath and continued to run. it doesn’t make any sense of how he could have ended up here. he wanted to be with his members. on the plane. going home. the tears blurring up his vision to the point where he couldn’t see. it felt like everything was closing in around him. he started to sleep black dots. everything went dark.

opening the journal in hand, going back to read what you wrote so you wouldn’t go insane and forget who you are. saying the following words aloud. what your name was. how old you were. your birthday. what year it was. the date it was when you got here. where you are from and currently living at. family, friends, and pets. what you were studying. etc. anything. you didn’t want to risk it even if it wasn’t going to happen. 

once you were done, you placed the journal in the pocket of the hoodie you were wearing. continuing down the nevering-end yellow halls. you don’t know how long you’ve been here, but it felt like years at this point. you don’t know how you end up here either, what this place was, or how to get out. the feeling of someone watching you never going away, even though you knew you were alone.

you turned the corner and physically jumped out of your skin. freezing at that moment. just ahead of you, was a person. a man lying on the ground. he looked to be passed out. you didn’t know whether to go up and shake him to see if he was okay or run. after debating with yourself, you decided to see if he was alive. you slowly walked over to him, taking quiet steps.

once you were right next to him, you squatted down. now seeing his face. you could see he was asian and around your age. his cheeks puffy and red with swollen eyes. you felt a sting to your heart. he must have just shown up here and most likely completely terrified. 

“hey are you okay?” i asked, shaking him on his shoulder. he groaned as he started to wake up. “come on, get up.” i said, shaking him a bit harder. his eyes fluttered open and saw me. i could tell panic set in. he quickly flipped over and scooted away from me. looked around and made a face before looking at me again. “i’m not going to hurt you.” i said. “how do i know that?” he said back. “because we are in the same boat and trying to get out.” i told him. he brought his knees up to his chest. “my name is y/n. what’s yours?” i said. “i’m jisung. han jisung.” he said. “well it’s nice to meet you, jisung.” i said with a smile. “do you know the way out?” he asked.

i stood back up. “no i don’t. sorry. if i did, i wouldn’t be here…where ever i am.” i sighed out, looking around at the yellow walls. “you’ve never heard of this place?” jisung said, looking up at me. “no. have you?” i questioned. he nodded his head slowly before standing up. “just last night, my friends were telling me about this place. it’s called the backrooms.” jisung said, “it’s where you clip out of our everyday world and you’re here.” jisung looked around the room with a scowl. he’s crazy. 

he brought eyes back to me and saw the look on my face. “you don’t believe me..” he said, taking off his cap and running his fingers through his hair. “no. that sounds too insane.” i told him. “there’s this place, a warehouse, a maintenance hall, pool area thing, house, and a lot more.” he said. “i’ve never seen any of those places you’ve mentioned besides this one.” i told him. jisung’s cheeks started to turn red. probably out of embarrassment. i breathed in, “how about we just stick together and find a way out.” i said. he nodded, “good idea.” so we began to walk the eerie room. 

“so…” jisung said, making me turn my head to him. “what do you do? i mean like in our world.” he asked. i smiled, “i’m studying at my dream university while doing part-time at a music shop on the side.” i expressed with happiness. “you?” i directed to him. “oh i’m a k-pop idol. i’m in a group called stray kids. have you heard of us?” he stated. “no sorry.” i said, shaking my head. jisung was telling me about himself and telling stories about his members. which i’ve learned that there is eight of them in total. “we recently just started getting really big these last two and half years. then covid came and we were stuck at home all of 2020.” jisung said. i stopped in my tracks. the fuck? 2020. have i been in here for that long? “my group and i just finished our tour called maniac.” jisung said, turning his head to look at me. when he didn’t see me, he turned around. 

“you okay?” he asked, walking back to me. “2020. it’s 2020?” i exclaimed. he shook his head, “no it’s april 5th 2023.” jisung hesitated to say. he furrowed his eyebrows, “what year did you think it was?” he questioned. “2019. i showed up here on june 9, 2019. i didn’t think i was in here for that long.” i cried out, feeling tears welt up in my eyes. jisung’s eyes widened. “hey hey, don’t cry y/n. we’re gonna get out of here. i promise.” he comforted, placing his arms onto my shoulders. a few tears fell to my cheeks. “none of that.” he said, quickly wiping them away with the knuckle of his pointer finger. “we’re going to get back home. alright?” he said. i nodded and sniffed, “okay.” i told him. jisung gave me a bright smile. “okay then, let’s get a move on.” he said, holding out his hand to take. i placed my hand in his and we continued on our way, trying to find the exit.

turning left and right, going straight. all of it seemed to be the same, the same damn yellow walls with every turn and move. the quiet noise of the fluorescent lights buzzing. 

“i feel like we are going in circles y/n.” jisung said out loud. “i don’t think we are?” i said, more in a question sense. we did another left turn and were met with a dark dead-end. there was a crawl space giving off light. “should we go through it?” jisung asked, squatting down in front of it. i looked at the size of it and looked at my body. 

i was on the thicker size. a tummy, thick thighs and hips, big boobs and butt. i became overly aware of my size. starting to feel small and insecure. “umm, i don’t think i can fit through that.” i quietly told jisung. he looked up at me, eyeing me up and down then back at the crawl space. “i think you’ll get through. plus you won’t know unless you try.” jisung said in a nice tone. “will you try?” he asked. my head came up with a million and one thoughts in one second on why i shouldn’t do it. “as long as you won’t look.” i said, avoiding eye contact. “i can do that.” jisung said while nodding his head.

jisung stood back up and took a few steps back. i walked closer to the crawl space and got on my hands and knees. i looked back at jisung and he had both of his hands covering his eyes and turned to the side. i turned back to the crawl space and started to make my way through. my upper half made it easy, it was a little snug at my hips- but i got through. i stood back up and called out to jisung. 

“i made it!” i said loud and proud. “great!” he said. soon enough, jisung crawled through and was standing next to me. we looked around and the yellow walls were starting to fade into gray metal like material. “i guess this is progress.” i declared, walking ahead. “yeah.” he said, following by my side. as we walked further into the gray walls, we heard a ding. “what was that?” jisung asked. we looked all around us till my eyes landed on an elevator to the right of us, tucked away in a cornered with the doors open.

“jisung there’s an elevator.” i said, making my way over to it. jisung quickly followed. it was a small elevator, but both of us fit with a comfortable distance between us. jisung looked down at the button panel. “well there’s only one direction to go.” he joked. i looked at the panel and sure enough, he was right. we could only go up. “let’s get out of here.” i said, nodding my head. jisung pressed the up button. the elevator doors quickly closed and we started heading up.

“i just thought of something.” jisung said, leaning his back against the wall. “what is it?” i mumbled. “if you’ve been in here since 2019, how are you still alive? there’s no food, no drinkable water. have you even slept?” jisung asked. i looked at him with wide eyes. “i. i honestly don’t know. it doesn’t feel like i’ve been in here that long. maybe a few days or weeks? and i’ve slept, but it was to take a break from walking. not because my energy was low and i needed sleep.” i replied, trying to understand it myself. “wow.” jisung said in pure awe. “i hope you’re not here for as long as i’ve been.” i added, just as the doors opened up. “i hope so too, but then again. i think we are going to get out of here. a lot sooner.” he said with a smile as he exited the elevator.

i followed behind him and to my surprise. we were in a completely different place. the walls were now white tiles, our shoes echoing throughout the hall. soon we came out to an open room with water. “this was the pool area i was talking about!” jisung exclaimed, giving me another one of those big smiles. i felt butterflies dance around in my stomach. god, does he have a killer smile. wait no, don’t think like that y/n. just because this is the person, especially male. does not mean you can form a crush on him.

jisung walked over to the railing and looked down to the right. i came up beside him and looked the same way. he turned his head to me. “do you believe me now.” he said, more in a statement. i could only nod my head. he pushed off the railing and walked behind me. “someone was here.” jisung said. i turned around and looked to see what he saw. there was a blanket on the floor. “so we’re not alone?” i asked. “either we’re not or that person already got out.” jisung said, “but if they are still here, let’s hope they’re as nice as you.” he added, turning around to face to water again.

“i think we are going to have to walk through the water.” jisung stated, going to the steps into the water. i slowly walked over to the steps and watched as he got in. “does it get deeper?” i asked. jisung brought his eyes to mine. “can’t swim?” he asked. “i can doggy paddle, but that’s about it.” i said. jisung rose his hand from his side. “don’t worry.” he said. i made my way down the steps and put my hand his. his hand was so soft and warm. i looked up at him. “i won’t let you go.” jisung promised.

the water covered the bottom half of our legs. deep enough to slush the water around but shallow enough to walk in. as we made our way through the water, there was an opening on the right but there was also another crawl space. jisung turned to me and i shook my head. “not that one.” i pleaded. “we don’t have to.” jisung responded, squeezing my hand. so we took the right hall, which was a little dark considering there was no light other than the sunlight at the end…if you could even call it that. whatever it was.

we slowly made our way to the end of the hall where there was a big circular column and a set of curvy steps out of the water. we quickly started up the stairs to get out of the water, jisung letting me go first. once i reached the top, there was another elevator. “if the rest of this easy to get out of, we’ll be home in no time.” i said, looking back at jisung. jisung looked back down at me and smiled. i glanced down at his lips and back up at his eyes, seeing he did the same thing. “yeah.” he whispered, a ding from the elevator made us jump.

jisung cleared his throat and guided out his hand to let me enter the elevator first. once we were both inside, i pushed the up button this time and watched as the doors closed once again. there was a bit of awkward silence. “tell me more about yourself, y/n. about things you want to do and achieve in life.” jisung said, looking down at his feet. i thought about it for a second and then told him a mini version of my life story and my goals and dreams.

jisung was laughing his butt off by the time the elevator doors opened, making me giggle. we looked out the doors and saw a mall, our laughter dropping at the slight of it. we stepped out and carefully eyed our surroundings. there was an empty fountain, newspaper and random magazines scattered around the floor, dark and quiet like every place has been.  just our shoes making the most noise. we made our way forward, jisung noticing a map hung on the wall.

“do you can this will help us?” jisung asked. “i don’t know.” i said, trying to read the map. “i can’t tell what it says.” i added, looking at jisung. “me neither.” he sighed out. we walked around, not really finding anything. just more dark, dimly lit halls and rooms and rarely stuff in them. besides a chair or two.

we entered the last hall, leading us to something different. “at least we can kinda tell where we are. better than the yellow room.” jisung said, making me smile, “yeah, you’re right about that.” i replied. then my eyes caught a glimpse at something ahead of us. “is that a red light?” i asked, picking up my pace a little. that’s new. we looked at the little hall where the red light was coming from, but it lead no where.

so we just continued walking forward. making turns left and right whenever we felt like it, unless it lead us to a dead-end. to help pass the time we came up with jokes and telling embarrassing stories. 

it was easy talking jisung, even if i had just met him. it felt like we had been friends for awhile. for once and surprisingly, i was happy i was stuck in here and that this happened to me. because i would have never been able to meet han jisung and get to know him for him. as terrible as it is. having someone with me, him with him, made me feel a lot better. 

“hey y/n!” jisung shouted, “come here, i think i found the way to the elevator!” i quickly turned around and followed jisung down a narrow hall with random turns. it opened up to a small cafeteria thing with the elevator on the left wall to the back. 

“we are making so much progress!” jisung said happily and ran over to the elevator. bouncing up and down like a little kid. i laughed as i made my way over to him and stood next to him. “how many levels are there?” i asked him as the elevator dinged. “i don’t know, but hopefully not too many.” he said as we stepped in the elevator for the third time. 

the doors opened up to a hotel with chairs thrown everywhere, lit up by the wall sconces. “well this level it a bit more creepy.” i stated out loud. we left the elevator and went to the right. “it says there’s a dining hall, maybe there’s food there.” jisung said. “are you actually hungry?” i questioned. “no, but it would be nice to eat something right now.” jisung said with a smile. soon enough, we came into the dining hall. 

“shit there’s nothing in here.” jisung whined. i walked over to the crawl space and looked in. “no where to go in there.” i said, turning back around. “dead-end?” jisung sighed. “dead-end.” i said back to him. he groaned as we pushed our way back the way we came to go down a different hall. we came across a small gap in the wall. jisung looked at me. “should we try it?” he asked. “sure why not. we have all the time in the world.” i answered with laugh. 

jisung fit like it was nothing. for me, it was a bit of a squeeze, but bearable. it was just another long hall, just very small and dim. eventually, it opened back up and the elevator was right in front of us and already open. “luck seems to be on our side, we’re going to get home in no time!” jisung said as we entered the elevator.

the doors closed and we only went up for a few seconds then stopped. there was a tap on the door. we both looked at each other. two more taps, jisung stood in front of me in case there was actual someone there. four more taps against the door before the finally opened up. chairs were blocking the exit the leave, the room completely red. we couldn’t get out.

“are we suppose to get out?” i asked, jisung slowly shock his head. he quickly pressed the button to go up so the doors could close again. slowly but sure the doors closed and we started going up again. jisung spun around to face me. “i feel like we are getting closer to go home.” he said with a smile. the doors opened back up and saw the yellow wallpaper. “why the hell are we back here?” i said, pushing past jisung. yellow walls, carpeted floors, fluorescent lights. I turned back to jisung to had a defeated look on his face. i felt my eyes starting to burn. “you’re a fucking liar. i knew i shouldn’t have trust you.” i felt my voice cracking in the sentence. jisung jumped at the sound of my hurt voice. “y/n.” he said, stepping towards me. i back up and shook my head. “no.” i said, before turning around. i walked over to a wall and sled down. crying and feeling hopeless. 

“there’s no way this is the same.” i heard jisung say. he heard him jogging around, i couldn’t even bring myself to look up to see where he was going. i’m such an idiot for thinking i could get out of this place. there’s no way out, just endless loops of different rooms all feeling the same way. hell it’s been five years since i got here. everyone probably thinks i’m dead by now. my family, my friends, my two roommates, everyone who knew me. thinks i’m dead. what’s the point of trying to get out of here when they think i’m dead and gone.

i felt a pair of hands grab my cheeks and push my face up. i saw jisung’s face with tears and a light smile. “it’s not the same y/n.” jisung said, he grabbed my hands and pulled me up. “come on, all we have to do is follow the beeping.” he said, dragging me along with him at a fast pace. we turned a couple a corners and i was first it wasn’t the same. just the color of the room. instead of there just being rooms entering rooms, there were also columns now and more space going up. i hardly had time to process what was happening, jisung just kept pulling me with him. stopping every now and then to listen. 

“what are you liste-” jisung shushed me. then i heard the beep he had been following. “it’s this way.” he said, making a left turn, then a right. the beeping continued to get louder and louder as we got closer. we turned around corner and was greeted into a big room with the elevator. the next part happened so quickly. jisung turned around, placed his hands on my cheeks again and gave my a hard kiss with passion. i yelped as i wasn’t expecting that to happen. i recovered fast and kissed him back, placing my hands on his chest which made jisung smile into the kiss. he pulled away, leaving his forehead on mine.

“we’re going home like i promised.” he said just above a whisper. i looked into his soft brown eyes. “i’m sorry i yelled at you.” i apologized. he shook his head, “no i understand, you want to get back home as much i as i do and when you saw the yellow walls again you felt lied to. i understand, i would have felt the same way.” he told me. jisung removed his hands from my cheeks and down my arms. grasping my left hand with his right. “let’s keep going.” he said, to which i nodded to.

we entered the elevator once again, pressing the up button. the door closed once more, the elevator moving up once again. jisung squeezed my hand, making me turn to him. he leaned in for another kiss which i gladly accepted. it started out as a sweet innocent kiss but became more heated. jisung pushed me against the wall, pressing his body to mine. making me moan into the kiss. with that small opening, jisung slid his tongue into my mouth. exploring every nook and cranny. he tasted like a muted minty flavor. i ran my hands up his body and to the back of his neck, playing with the hair poking out of the cap. jisung groaned into the kiss, rolling his hips into mine. i whined, pushing my hips to his. feeling his erection growing by the second.

“god, i want to fuck you so bad.” jisung said, once he pulled his lips away. my body feeling tingly, goosebumps forming on my skin. i shivered at his words. i went to respond but the elevator dinged and the doors opened back up. “if we can find a not so creepy area, i’ll let you fuck me.” i said to him, looking dead in the eyes. he groaned and gave me another sloppy kiss.

he interlaced our fingers and pulled me out of the elevator. we only made it a few steps before stopping, realizing how dark it was. we could hardly see each other. we continued walking but very slowly, not knowing what was ahead.

just a few more steps forward, a loud snap echoed in the room we were in accompanied with red lights shining the area. we were in the middle of a street with few houses following the side. at the end of the road was a tunnel with the elevator in the center of the tunnel. i looked around at the lights. the redness gave the feeling a not welcoming feeling, like more eyes were on us then the last time. we listened and watched out for any nobody that could be here, but there was no one. not even in the houses. we continued to the tunnel and made our way inside the elevator.

the doors opened to a clean white wall with oak wood floors. nothing on the floor, but a blanket up ahead in front of a window. jisung bent down to it and felt it as i looked out the window. “it’s completely cold, whoever was here hasn’t been here for awhile.” jisung explained. “i think we’re in an apartment complex.” i said. i remember that being one of the places jisung said we could turn up at. jisung stood up and looked at the window as well. just looking at it gave me an uneasy feeling. it was dark ‘outside’, only light coming from all the windows and maybe one of two lamps. jisung turned to me, “let’s keep going.” he said, nodding his way down the hall.

turn after turn we were just greeted by more dead-ends. coming back out of one of the last halls. before we could even make it fully, we stopped in our tracks. there right in front of us was a an opening. like the building had been cut in half. 

we got closer to it. “that would be a long fall.” jisung said as he looked down. i nodded my head. “yeah it would be.” i said. jisung looked at the other opening his could see. “do you think i could make that jump?” he questioned. my eyes widened. “please do not try to make that big ass gap han jisung.” i raised my voice at him. he turned to me, wide eyed. “yes ma’am.” he said giving me a smirk.

we headed back to where the original hall connected to the hall we were just in and the elevator door was right in front of us. like it just appeared out of no where. “well that’s new.” i said as we walked up to it. “yeah, let’s hope that doesn’t happen again.” jisung laughed out as we got in. “on the next stop do you think we can sit down and take a breather?” i asked him. “yeah sure. i don’t mind taking a break at all.” he answered back. 

the doors opened up again to flat land and a singular house. we seated out, taking in our surroundings. it was like we were on a small planet, you could see a slight curve where it circled down and around. the sky was painted in a dusk night with the sun already gone and the stars starting to pop up.

“you picked a good one, y/n.” jisung pointed out as we made our way to the house. the front door was open and a room directly the right of us. a chair and a blanket on the floor. we walked a little further into the house and right there in the corner to the left was the elevator. in front of it on the other wall was a door but it was closed. jisung grabbed the door handle and twisted the knob.

“it’s locked.” he said. “did you still want to rest or did you want to just go since the elevator is right here?” he added. as much as i wanted to go, i couldn’t stand the feeling in the pit of my stomach anymore. i wanted him. right here and now. i walked up to him and placed my hands on his shoulders. i leaned my face close to his, lips barely touching. “did you forget what i told you earlier?” i asked, never breaking eye contact. i could feel his hot breath on my lips. “no.” he said, stealing a look at my lips. 

i leaned in and crashed my lips onto his, him groaning in the process. jisung’s hands went for my hips before dragging them down and to my ass. giving it a hard squeeze. i moaned into the kiss, right before pulling away with jisung chasing after my lips. i giggled and grabbed his forearm, pulling him the first open room we saw. i pressed him against the nearest wall, connecting my lips to his neck. i pushed off his jacket as i left marks on his body. i bit his collarbone, getting my hand under his shirt and pushing it up. jisung quickly threw his cap off and slid his shirt off his body. i kissed down his chest and got on my knees. unbuttoning his pants and unzipping them. i pushed them down his thighs along with his underwear. 

his cock was already halfway hard. i spat on my hand and gripped him. jisung moaned, throwing his head back onto the wall. i ran my hand up and down, my mouth watering at the sight of him. i placed the tip of his cock on my tongue and licked up the bead of pre-cum coming out. jisung looked down at me and brought his hand on the top of my head. i opened my mouth and shoved him in. taking as much as i could. 

“oh fuck y/n.” jisung said as his body tensed up from the feeling of my warm mouth. i bobbed my head back and forth, loving how heavy he felt on my tongue. i moaned around his cock. i moved my hand to his balls and played with them. jisung thrusted his hips forward, making me gag.

“sorry.” he said, pulling his cock out of my mouth. he placed his hand under my chin and tilted my head up. “you aright?” he asked with worried eyes. i nodded my head and smiled. “yeah i’m okay.” i said. “good.” he stated as he got on the floor then kicked off his shoes and pants. jisung grabbed his clothes and laid them behind me. he gently pressed me back to make me lay down.

jisung climbed over me and kissed me as he ran his hands up my body and under my shirt. i froze and grabbed his wrists, making him freeze. “you wanna leave it on?” he asked when he pulled away. “just my shirt, everything else can come off.” i shyly told jisung. “that’s fine.” jisung said with a smile. jisung sat up, running his hands down my body to my sweats. “just so you know, i think you look beautiful.” he said, admiring every curve and roll on my body. i blushed at his statement. he pulled down my sweats and off my legs, taking my shoes off too.

jisung groaned at sight of my underwear, seeing a dark patch on the material. he made eyed contact with me as he laid down. coming face to face with my cunt. jisung placed a kissed right on top of my clit then gave a bold lick, sending shock waves though my body. he hooked his finger around my underwear and pushed it to the side.

he immediately dived in and started eating me out. i threw my head back as i ached my back. my hand found his hair and tugged at it hard. the sounds of his groans vibrated my body. i whined as he pushed his tongue inside my wet hole. I clamped my thick thighs around his head.

“god, you taste so good.” jisung said, spitting on my mound. he ran his finger up my slit before pushing it in. “gotta stretch you out for my cock baby.” he said in a gravely voice, setting up a decent speed. “want you to cum all over my hand.” he said before diving back in. his tongue playing my clit again. “oh jisung!” i yelled out. my breathing picked up as his added a finger, making me clench around him. “curl your fingers up.” i whined out. jisung did exactly what i told him to do. finding my g-spot quickly. i ached my back and angled my hips even more as i felt my orgasm getting closer. making me curl my toes and my legs start to shake.

“harder.” i pleaded, needing more pressure to help me release. jisung pounded fingers hard into me with every pullback curling them up. his tongue danced around my clit as my legs started to shake. “oh fuck, i’m gonna cum!” i moaned loudly. he wrapped his lips around my clit and hummed, which sent me head first into my climax- nearly screaming jisung’s name from my lips. he slowly removed his fingers. patting my clit a few times, making me jolt.

“i love how you scream my name.” he said, sitting back onto his knees. “want more.” i said, spreading my legs out. “i want you inside me, please.” i whined. “fuck, i love that even more.” he said, scooting up so he could line his cock up with my opening. slowly pushing in as he rubbed my sensitive clit. i closed my eyes, running my hands above my shirt. gripping at my boobs. we both moaned as he bottomed out. jisung steaded himself before placing his arms under the back on my knees, holding my legs. he slowly pulled out halfway and slammed back in. 

“fuck.” i whispered. jisung’s eyes never left my body as he began to keep up the pace. watching every closely at my body and how it was jiggle and moving with each thrust. “shit, i’m not gonna last long.” he whined out, gripping my legs hard. i clenched around him at how whiny he sounded. just the sound of our skin hitting the walls of the room and loud moans from the both of us. jisung let go of my legs and laid on top of my body. his hot chest moving against my hoodie, making it come up a little. placing his hands neither side of my head. his hot breath fanning my face.

“you look so good under me. don’t wanna stop fucking this tight little cunt.” jisung said, punching a hard thrust. i wrapped my legs around his waist and arm around his back, burying my head into the crease of his neck. from this angle the pubic bone grazed my clit perfectly. i moaned feeling my second orgasm coming up fast. “gonna cum.” i whispered as i dug my nails into his back from the pleasure. jisung’s thrusts became sloppy and more rough. “me too, where should i cum?” he moaned. “inside. cum inside me, i wanna feel how much you fill me up.” i cried out, he shivered. he wrapped his right arm around the back of my shoulders, pulling my upper half even closer.

“cum with me baby.” he whined, sending a handful of hard thrusts with him pulling almost completely out, only leaving the tip in. slamming his cock deep inside one more time, shooting his hot seed around my walls. triggering my own climax, clenching around him harder than before. he rutted against me, my body feeling like pulp. i slowly released him from my grip, jisung helping me lay down my upper half. 

he sat up and grabbed his soften cock, easing it out of my sensitive hole. both hissing at the feeling. i closed my legs as jisung laid next to me so we could actual catch our breath. i looked over at jisung who was already looking at me. we broke out into smiles and laughter. he rolled over placing his arm loosely around my waist.

“when we get out of here, i wanna take you out of a date.” jisung said with a big bright smile. i felt my eyes widen and cheeks become red. “really?” i asked, making him nodded. “are you sure you want to be seen with a girl like me?” i questioned, glancing down at my bigger body. “i don’t care about that. just the type of person you are and from what i’ve learned so far. you seem like a great woman that i want to get to know more.” he said, making me blush even harder. i smiled at him then had a thought.

“what if when we get out of here we’re not together.” i said. jisung took a deep breath and placed his hand to my cheek. “then i’ll find you.” he said quietly before leaving a gentle kiss on my lips. jisung pulled away and laid back down. “come here.” he sai, opening his arms. i smiled and cuddled into him, laying my head on his chest. 

after a few minutes of cuddling, we got up and put back on our clothes. we were standing in front of the elevator. jisung turned his head to me. “ready?” he asked. “ready as i’ll ever be.” i answered back. we hopped in and watched as the doors closed. “where do you think we’ll go next?” i asked him. “well from what i remember my members telling me. we could end up in a long straight hall and a warehouse. other then those two, i don’t know.” jisung said.

the doors opened up but we weren’t completely on the level we need to be on. jisung and i looked at each other with questioning looks on our faces. jisung looked out to see what the level was. then the elevator cart jolted down a bit. jisung stumbled back into me. i grabbed ahold of his sides as we both looked at the doors. then the cart started falling, making loud screeching noises and lights going off.

“jisung!” i shouted. fear filling my body, heart pounding in my chest. jisung grabbed ahold of my arms and tried his best to face me. “grab onto my forearms y/n!” he yelled over the loud sound. i did what he said and held on tightly. “we’re going be okay!” i heard jisung said. i didn’t know what to do but scream as tears ran down my face. i tried to take a step to jisung but my body didn’t move. that’s when i realized had i closed my eyes.

i snapped my eyes open and saw that we were no longer in the elevator. i screamed out jisung’s name as i panicked. jisung opened his eyes and saw what was happening. i felt my grip of my left hand loosening and sliding down jisung’s arm. “don’t let go!” jisung screamed. “i’m trying!” i cried out as the wind started blowing faster and faster. then the wind hit us from the side, making us spin. both my hands were now at his wrists. jisung digging his fingertips into my skin.

i kept slipping from his grasp, hands to hands. jisung was using all his strength to pull me towards him the wind kept picking up. i looked at him with teary eyes the best i could. “you’ll find me!” i called out. “i promise!” jisung yelled back with tears in his eyes as well. the wind hit us once more from the other direction, making us spin hard.

that time, i lost the grip on jisung. “jisung!” i screamed. “y/n!” he screamed back but he sounded so far away. i kept spinning as the wind took me where it wanted. once i’d stopped spinning i realized i was headed straight to the ground in an alley. nonono. i closed my eyes, not wanting to see the ground getting closer. i landed on a big pile of trash bags, tumbling down them onto the concrete. landing on my side. 

“ow.” i said, looking around me and it was dark. that’s when i heard it. a car. people. a town. i shot up and looked in front of me, just to see a car pass by. “holy shit. i’m back.” i whispered. i got up from the ground and made my way out of the alley. i looked both ways before deciding to go right. i went into the nearest store and asked where i was. i’m home.

i sat in the police station waiting for my family and roommates to arrive. jisung was right about it being 2023. everything. i wouldn’t have made it back here if it weren’t for him. thank you han jisung. i can’t wait to see what you've told me about you and your group.

“y/n!” i heard my best friend called out. i looked up to see them all entering the station. “oh my god!” i said under my breath as i got up and ran to them. i hugged everyone so hard with them asking a million and one questions but being grateful that i was back and safe. “let’s go home first. what i’m going to tell you is crazy.” i told them.

later that night, in my soft bed. in my bedroom. i looked up han jisung and stray kids. jisung described them perfectly. treated each other like brothers. i listened to their music as i fell asleep.

jisung hit the trash bags, landing straight on his back. he groaned in pain of the sun as he removed himself from the stink. he looked around a saw he was in an alley. walking to the end where the street was, he saw that he was back in korea. just outside of jyp entertainment. i’m back! he ran inside the building greeting everyone who had shocked looks on their faces. but he couldn’t care less. he wanted to see is members. he ran to the elevator then stopped, turning around and heading to the stairs. he pushed himself through so many flights of stairs. he opened the hall door and ran down to the practice room, hoping his brothers would be in there. passing all his peers, like members of twice and itzy. 

he nearly broke down the door when he opened it. making everyone inside jump and look. the boys had stopped what they were doing and quickly ran to jisung, hugging him tightly.

“are you okay!”

“you’ve been gone for a full week!”

“what happened to you!”

“did someone kidnap you!”

“we were so scared!”

“one second we were behind us, next you were gone!”

“where have you been!”

jisung just cried being home again. “you’re not going to believe me when i tell you.” he said. explaining the full story, leaving out the sex part. felix and jeongin’s eyes were about to pop out of their head. “jisung, don’t lie.” minho said, rolling his eyes. felix shook his head. “how would he know about the the falling out of the sky! we never told him that.” felix explained. “or elevator failing when you come back!” jeongin added. “if you really did show us the girl.” seungmin said. “i need my phone then.” jisung said. chan quickly got up and ran over to a table, grabbing jisung’s phone.

once in his hands, he unlocked his phone and went straight to instagram. he typed in her fist and last name and she was the second account to pop up. jisung tapped on her icon and went to her profile. he clicked the first photo and noticed that it was posted just a few minutes ago. i scrolled down and looked at the date of the last photo. june 1st, 2019 was her last post. 

jisung showed the boys the proof with the photos, old comments, the article from when she first went missing, where she lives in the world, and even read the caption on her newest photo.

‘i’m back home! i won’t explain to here because it will most likely be on the news. but i can’t help but so grateful to the person i met who helped get me out. thank you so much h.j. i hope that you’re back home and safe as well and hope that we’ll meet again soon.’

after that, the boys believe him. they spent hours talking, completely forgetting about practice. just wanted to be with jisung with the rest of the day. we went out and had dinner. everyone went back to 3racha+hyunjin’s apartment, played games, and watched a movie or two. before finally calling it a night.

jisung laid in bed, staring at his phone. instagram was open once again, but this time he was trying to figure out what to type to y/n. fuck it he siad in his head.

hey, it was easy to find you. we still on for our date?

a few minutes passed before he saw someone typing…

date, time, and where.

[artdcnaldson]

whatever i'll rewrite!!!! tumblr you will not win over me buddy. also if anyone thinks i'm day drinking or something, it is 11 pm here, i am within my right to be tipsy 🙏 idk if i'm able to cook up anything toooooo elaborate atm, but pervy art 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤 loved loved loved that thing you just wrote RRRAAAAAHHHH WOOOF. need him to take advantage of me fr y'all, like over the line shit. i'm so sorry y'all this is probs a coping mechanism. but need him to live the rest of his life in guilt over what he did to me, meanwhile i'm fully unaware and unaffected. but like need him to spike my drink or something, maybe he really likes me and doesn't think he has a chance with me. so he convinces himself the only way to be with me is to "coerce" me aka against my will. need him to offer me a drink at a party, and obviously i think he's hot and sexy he doesn't even need to do anything, but he's so in his head. he tells my friends he's just gonna carry me back to my room when i get woozy, he's heading home anyway and it's on the way. but he takes me to his dorm room, i'm not even totally gone or passed out, just out of my body. vaguely aware of my surroundings but in no way capable of properly consenting (regardless of the fact that i would have if i had been sober!!!!) need him to touch me all over and need him to be unable to help himself as he slips inside me. had i been sober i would've been fucked stupid, would've been babbling about his huge cock and how sexy he is, would have been begging him to cum inside. but i'm not. but he does it anyway..... brings me back to my room after cleaning me up. maybe he never speaks to me again, maybe he befriends me and pretends we've never met before

idk y'all honestly i'm sorry 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 no worries if this is too much 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 gonna book a sesh with my therapist LOL clearly we've not worked through all the stuff

love you cat!!!!!

-🐞

LOVE U LADYBUG ANON <3

TW NONCON beneath the cut

auauauuurrghhhh something about him feeling sooo guilty and you just not knowing anything happened 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

He doesn’t think he can have you he just needs one night and it’ll be out of his system, right? And you won’t remember, so it will be like it never happened. And you take him so willingly, limp and you smell so good beneath him when he buries his head in your shoulder and fucks into your pliant, willing cunt. You’re just so relaxed for him, he didn’t know it would work *this* well. Mouths at your neck as he buries himself balls deep inside and just humps ingo your pussy :((( he cums so fast, pets your hair, makes sure you’re still okay. Cleans you up so carefully, kisses your sweet, still lips, then carries you back to your dorm.

And the next day you “run into him” and thank him for being your hero and taking you back to your dorm, that you must’ve been really out of it bc last night was a blur. Tell him he’s really sweet, and it means a lot.

He thought he’d feel better that he got away with it, but he just feels a little (a lot) sick.

[ruggythebugwithamug]

ARCANE SPOILER FOR ACT 3 SEASON 2

My ramblings and feelings! Enjoy.

Ok thoughts and feelings, I am not super feral for this show but I like it, and I am satisfied with the end. Though, I have one note (right at the end).

happy Ekko is alive and got his cool badass moment (TWICE! Both when all the firelights came to save the day + Sevilla and Zaun pals and he did his time stuff) though I wonder who exactly he wrote the note for- OH HEIMERDINGER? (I am bad at spelling) maybe maybe

Other dimension Zaun-is-a-nation Powder is epic and I am very happy the body switching shenanigans didn’t lead to her actual ekko being poofed out of existence. Also found it very funny that ekko is here like gathering shards of hex crystal from a crime seen he definitely broke into while Powder just straight up has them all in the Vi cabinet. Girl had an *insane* week that week (or month idk the timeline)

I like how Viktor slowly became more radicalised in his cult shit in every transformation. I do not like what Viktor helped do to dad. Leave dad alone.

The big fellow who manned the giant magic gun (I forget his name, but the nice enforcer guy) SHOULD HAVE WORN HIS HELMET. I am sad he is dead, but if he’s actively manning the giant weapon that is definitely a threat to the Noxian warriors, he is a very clear target. AND HE’S NOT WEARING A HELMET, THEY HAVE LITTLE SIDES THAT MIGHT PROTECT THE NECK AND EVERYTHING! Dumb ways to die.

go doctor man, very nice that that woman you care about is seemingly alive again (we love the mad scientist does mad science for a loved one trope)

Hell yeah sorceress Mel, I have no fucking clue what’s going on with her backstory things happened and I comprehend none of it

As for the bigger things that happened, the whole Jayce/Viktor in astral projection thing definitely reminded me that yeah… while a lot of the story is emotionally driven by the relationships between the undercity fam, Viktor and Jayce’s experimentation with hextech was core to the plot and they kind of are the most influential characters in the story. That scene just reminded me of that in a meta-sense.

I’m not a big shipping person, like, gay people on screen kissing is cool, straight people kissing on screen is cool (I am covering the screen, I don’t want to see anyone kissing, but the romance part is nice) I… don’t know what happened with them. Are they soulmates? Why is Viktor old and giving baby jayce a rock?? Did he use Ekko’s funky time machine??? Their relationship is… I don’t really care if they’re meant to be read as just really affectionate lab bros or a thing… I just- what the fuck was that ending in that regard? I guess we’re space people now. (I am not complaining, I am just confused)

Also speaking of viktor’s cult, when I saw the weird robot angel things I asked ‘why is the angel machine doing a backflip?’ They are very acrobatic.

anyways, onto Vi and Caitlyn. At least we are a little bit happy in the end. Not surprised they got back together, ‘s pretty neat though.

Jinx is very much alive to me. There are theories! There are mysterious blueprints! Blueprints with possible escape routes-

So is Isha. I have no proof of this of course, but for my sanity Isha defied the odds and definitely didn’t die from the crazy gun explosion thing.

Okay as for my only negative note on the whole story… why did Maddie betray Caitlyn? Genuinely? I could have totally missed some foreshadowing or whatever, but… she was an enforcer before Ambessa got really involved in everything right? So, it’s not like she was put in as a spy- There was that line about professional relationships but like… that was before Caitlyn went against Ambessa. Who was Maddie on the side of initially?

Did she join Ambessa because she was spiteful that Cait got back with Vi? (I would prefer that not be the reason since that just feels like a shallow reason for you to kill someone?? Maddie’s a background character but she deserves better than that as motive.) OR is she just super into the whole martial law thing? She aligned with Ambessa because her political ideals are more in line with how they lead their country. (I’d prefer this) Anyways, I will wait for the character analysis people to do there thing because like… unless there’s a whole heap of subtle clues foreshadowing Maddie’ betrayal… that feels like a plot hole, it just doesn’t make sense. She’s GOTTA have a reason.

besides that, tiny, tiny thing that’s been gnawing at my mind, this was pretty good. Thanks everyone who worked on the show, you won’t see this, but I am astral-projecting (Viktor style) praises to you.

I am open for chat but I will be asleep so if you talk to me I’ll probably only reply tomorrow.

[coelakanths]

my jenny wakeman cd is complete….

65 minutes of a bunch of jenny songs!!!!! and you can hold it in your hands and cherish it with your ears!!!!!!!!! design choices + song analysis thoughts under the cut :3

okkkk. this was so fun to make!!! took me two days in total but it would’ve taken less time if I didn’t have work and a life outside of cartoons 🙄 but I digress. most of these songs are taken from this jenny playlist that I just love with my whole heart… I hope the creator is out there so they know that i am so picky with my character playlists and they really hit a home run here which NEVER happens for me. tysm to that random stranger for being the best!!

anyway :3 jennys musical vibe falls into a few categories— i looked mostly for girl pop, hyperpop/electro-whatever, teen angst, etc etc… big early 2000s vibe. I briefly considered adding some older songs to fit the aesthetic of the show but it’s just not her!!! shes just a little rebellious like that!

most of these songs are pretty straightforward in their connection to jenny imo but with character playlists i always have the itch to explain and over-analyze why everything fits well. im going to refrain from doing that too much here but know that each song was picked with a lot of thought. probably too much thought if im being honest.

now onto the actual design of the cd case! the design is a little underwhelming i know, but i didn’t want to bite off more than i could chew. i included two separate star motifs seen in the show (jennys “blast off” and the little stylized sparkles) and of course the trans flag because well. have you seen her?

I tried (and sort of failed…) to make the song list look like a circuit board? idk. it’s a little ugly. i didn’t try THAT hard. i think if i were to do this again id print off an image of a circuit board and use that instead. i have a huge collection of them (as seen in the background of the photos!) and considered cutting one to size, but it would be too thick and bumpy.

the cd itself is nothing special!! i put stickers on it and wrote down the main details. i like to keep the cds themselves fairly simple, but maybe someday ill be braver with them :,-)

this project was really just a test run for a line of nicktoons unite character cds!! the main one i want to do is for danny. i have a ~3hr long danny playlist and the cds i have can only hold 80mins so i think im gonna make two cds for him but im not sure yet. i just wanted more practice before i took on that project and who better to work with than my favorite robot girl?

that’s all!!! thank you for reading this :-) i love doing weird insanely self indulgent projects for nobody but myself! good to be crafting again ⭐️🤖

[sophaeros]

i just HAVE to talk to someone about this but what do we think about the song scared….? do you think it’s about julian? or maybe albert wrote it about himself?? either way, the way you hear julian’s voice towards the end make me go insane!

I FUCKING LOVEEEE SCARED IT'S SO GOOD IT DRIVES ME INSANE i always read it as directed towards julian but directed to himself is CRAZY.

You know that something inside of you Still plays a part in what I do Always, I'm here for you

this always reminds me of this les inrockuptibles 2020 quote

"I'll tell you something," says Fab. "When I played the first Machinegum stuff to Nick (Valensi - editor's note), he put his finger on something. He said, 'I'll never be able to listen to your music, or the music of any of us, without thinking about how I could have influenced it.'"

which makes me SICK to my STOMACH. and then this verse

I think that if we were all we had That's more than most people ever have Anyway, oh anyway, you can stay here

makes me think of this 2023 albert interview with the guardian

“Yeah, I knew very quickly,” he says. “There was something very special about all of us together, even early on. The universe moved when we were all together in a certain way. Like a Rubik’s Cube that gets unlocked. You either find it or you don’t. I always felt that was unique.”

LIKE. ok i said i read it as directed to julian but i think it could also be kinda wrapped up in the band too which makes sense bc to me their relationship is always gonna be intertwined w that of the band. if that makes sense.

anyway lyrically this song destroys me like what the fuck is "so close we played it as if we cared" LIKE WHY WOULD YOU SAY THATTTTTTT IM GONNA FALL TO MY KNEES......i wish we had official lyrics for julian's lines at the end (he sounds soo fucking gorgeous btw so sad hes so buried in the mix) it sounds to me like "don't push me away / [they'll/don't] get it wrong" (less sure about that second line) which is AGONISING. WHAT DID HE MEAN BY THIS.

also can i just say im so in love w the chorus and ending kicking in. so ethereal and perfect

ok ANYWAY tinhatting time. honestly it's soo hard to piece together any kind of timeline or characterisation of their rs bc theyre not really as blatant about it as some other rpf ships..not counting one way trigger. also im not smart enough to have a concrete analysis of this song. i kinda read it as like, something something the strokes staying together and not branching out despite them clearly being really dysfunctional?? like being afraid to break whatever kind of shaky balance they'd managed to find. and the song is kind of a love letter to them in light of that. but also this is a very shaky interpretation ok idk what im talking about

albert was the first to do solo stuff outside of the strokes and they urhh well theyve been supportive of one another's side projects but at the beginning.......rock & folk april 2011 ->

Nick: "We never made this much money as for the FIOE tour. When we were recording, Albert tried to make us listen to some of his solo project. I think he was disappointed by our reaction and he never talked about it again. Nikolai kept his secret. For Little Joy, I was with Fab in LA when they were writing and recording the album. I played the drums for them.”

theres a lot of push and pull in this song..you can also narrow your focus from the strokes generally to just albert and julian (bc tbh a lot of strokes/adjacent songs can be read both ways and in fact i think a lot of the time theyre best read as being about both the band and albert/julian's relationship simultaneously)

IDK this post is so long but idk if im saying anything. it kinda reads like a very tender song to an ex lover. something like no matter the status of our relationship you still have me and i still love you. i want you to stay close to me no matter what. i want you to realise you could be so much more than what you are now. yknow.

[cupcakeinat0r]

Hiii!!!! How are youuu?? I hope you are doing well!! I can't wait for the next chapter of DadBod!Miguel! I am honestly so excited!!!

May I ask how you got into writing? And what tips do you have to start?? I feel like I have a billion of ideas but I don't know how to get them into paper.

Anyway, you don't have to answer if you don't want to. Just wanted to tell you how much I love your blog and your stories!!

Omg haiii luv!!! Tysm for the ask <3 I’m doing well, thnx, hope you are as well <3

YAY it makes me so happy to hear that you’re exciteddd!!! I’m excited for yall to see what happens… all I’ll say is that I couldn’t stop giggling n twirling my hair n kicking my feet when I wrote it ☺️

Ugh, you’re so sweet, this made my night <3 messages and comments like these r really encouraging!!

Writing advice below!!! Cuz I wrote a lot n idk how to shut tf up!!! 🤭🤭🤭

Honestly, I only ever liked reading, I wasn’t into writing cuz I knew if I did, I probably wouldn’t have made any sense lmao. I think it was my first year of college when I took advanced essay classes (and got an A+ in both🤭). It was suuuper good practice for me, and it def helped that both of my professors were awesome. I did stop writing after that, but then lo and behold: Spiderverse happened. That’s when I redownloaded tumblr to join the atsv community, just to see what the other atsv girlies were up to, which then led to my smut addiction (oops), which led to the creative juices juicing. I def did NOT have the confidence to post it publicly, but I figured why not!! I’m doing this for myself!! I enjoy it!! That’s, like, the cool part of writing is that, and get this: you can write whatever YOU want. Crazy, right?????

Now, the hardest part is getting it on paper. Once you get over that hill, it’s literally so chill after that. What I do is I literally just list out specific things I want to happen for sure, and I list them chronologically, from beginning to end of the chapter, Drabble, etc. I also list certain dialogue that I want to be said as well, putting them chronologically, too. I do this because I find it easy to build sort of a “scene” off of them. Call it a skeleton, if you will. Then the rest of it sort of just… comes along. Outlines r literally my bffs <3 It might also help to literally just write out what the idea is specifically; what I mean is what sparked the idea? Is it a specific action? Is it a line someone said? Is it a specific occasion? Specific location? Just take note of it, and if u read it n draw a blank, come back to it later. Also, I promise, the light bulbs are gonna come at you in the most randomest of times… trust, it will come to you while ur, like, lying in bed at 3am, about to fall asleep.

I hope this helped, luv! Just have fun with it! And if you write something, pls, tag me in it <3 I wanna support u <3 Mwah!

[thegeminisage]

IT IS. star trek update time. last night we did ds9's "the muse" and voy's "the thaw."

the muse (ds9):

the a-plot of this was so fucking stupid. WHY is it always jake and older women...can we please cut him a fucking break...

also, the mysticism around writing. "i can show you exercises and techniques" "you have so many ideas it all seems too big to you right now" come on. the only exercise and technique she needed to show him was how to fucking outline. it's not MAGIC you don't get divinely graced with the ability to write a book you just sit down and do one little bit at a time. i cannot believe writers wrote this. insufferable. they sound like george rr martin i hope he is having a bad day wherever he is

jake and sisko at the end were so cute though...sisko my beloved...

the b plot.............................................

here's the thing. while i have reversed my stance on lwaxana troi, who got much better in her final few episodes (was this the last one or do we have one more...?), i don't want odo/lwaxana to be better than odo/kira and the odo/lwaxana was REALLY GOOD. and ik some people really didn't like the way odo/kira wound up happening in canon so even though idk what happens yet NOBODY TELL ME i am bracing for it to be bad and to love it unconditionally anyway. so that was a huge struggle for me

odo in his little shapeshifter playground feeding off of lwaxana's giddiness...i wish deanna had been able to do the reverse-empath thing on tng, it would have been so much fun

ALSO i cant believe he finally got his first little smooch!!!! GOOD FOR HIM

the thaw (voy)

sigh. so apparently a lot of people really like this episode but i...hated it. one of the worst voy episodes to date actually

whatever this episode THINKS it's saying about fear is lost under the set dressing. and the set dressing IS really cool - i like the wacky practical effects and bright colors. it reminds me a lot of tos. in fact, this whole episode could have been a tos episode, but it would have been one of those tos episodes that makes the top 10 worst ranking or whatever

the problem is the Randumb XD Humor...it's like q, like the squire of gothos. it just doesn't hit for me and never will. like, the actors were good at what they did, the costumes looked great, the set was funky, even the background music really fucked, but things being Randumb XD is just too dated for me. i don't mind star trek being dated most of the time but this is where i draw the line. maybe i'd like it better if i gave it another shot, but i probably will not be doing that

i think janeway called it in, with her acting. like everyone's like damn she ACTED no girl she did a lot of dramatic whispering. and who can blame her. the script was all over the place

i just think if you're trying to terrify people you could do better than the circus theme. yeah, clowns bad, but even tng had that spooky morgue thing happening

also, lost opportunity: if this clown guy can kill people by scaring them to death ie making them live the experience of getting their heads chopped off virtually which gives them a heart attack in real life then why not write tuvok, local expert at conquering fear, into this episode? you could have cut off tuvok's head and he wouldn't have died of fright. it would have been perfect for the metaphor

the ending to this episode would have fucked a lot more if the rest of it hadn't sucked so bad. janeway's murder walk was REALLY good. it's also something kirk would have done, if they'd had the holodeck in tos, and thank GOD they didn't

but yeah, the solution of fear needing conquering and wanting to be conquered just doesn't hit when most of the script...didn't really talk about fear, it was just wilding out

TONIGHT: ds9's "for the cause" and voy's "tuvix"...okay, wait, i'm just now looking at these episode titles. everyone on reddit is always so mad about janeway killing a guy named tuvix but i thought i got it mixed up with tuvOK. like i literally thought she killed tuvok and everybody was like dw about it she doesn't kill tuvok so who tf is tuvix...is this a clone thing or something? like black shirt green shirt tuvok?? please let it be a clone thing