#anyway i wouldn't tag this at all bc i Don't Like putting my posts in fandom tags but alas. it's necessary for people's blacklists

[coquelicoq]

I don't know if it's rude to ask, so apologies in advance if I sound mean, but… how come you repeatedly bring up old posts of yours from three or more years ago? Do you remember each original post you make and intentionally bring them back? Like, I don't think there's anything wrong, your blog can be whatever you want, obviously, and your stuff is always funny or curious in some way, just… I'm kind of lost as of how it came to be, I guess? I don't think I remember my own posts after 6 months, much least if I have to go back to 2020!

ahaha no it's usually just because i'm going back through a tag looking for something else! i recently went back through my entire "my posts" tag (which contains...1468 posts, dear lord) and while i was doing that saw several posts that i felt like reblogging for whatever reason. so it's usually not that i remember them and go looking for them on purpose, it's that i come across them incidentally in the course of doing something else.

if you want to know why i reblog them after coming across them, 1) usually i don't! you are seeing the tip of the iceberg lol, and 2) it's mostly because it's hard to resist the "sooo true, bestie" urge, even when the bestie is just...yourself.

[arcadian-vampire]

Okay here are my botw2 thoughts now that I'm over the Screaming And Yelling period:

-Ganon is ripping up the land, unearthing ancient artifacts, which gives us the floating islands + Zonai tech (though it's also possible Hylia is sending islands into the sky again to protect the Hylians, like before Skyward Sword)

-Ganon going ham has also awakened an ancient Zonai deity- I firmly believe the figure in the mural was Not Hylia. It's also possible that Link and Zelda seek out and awaken this deity themselves, as they don't have enough power on their own to handle the situation this time. Anyway, this deity is responsible for the teal glowy arm we saw in the one trailer, along w the teal spirals and all that (though the spirals could also be 'yo there's tech materials to collect here' or portals to the place that Does Not Look Like Anywhere In Hyrule, or something)

-The Zonai deity works w Link and Zelda to fix things bc Ganon is going WILD here. Fuck the golden goddesses and their triangle of tragedy, it's time to spice things up and add another factor to the mix

-Purah gets to study Zonai tech, yippee, and she helps Link with upgrades and vehicles and all that

-Spirits like in Twilight Princess, sacred flames restoring the Master Sword like in Skyward Sword, there will probably be many more references to old games, tying things together to reinforce the endless cycle of Ganon resurrecting + Link and Zelda kicking his ass

-ALTERNATIVELY. This game is going to break the cycle, somehow. The oubouros won't mean that things are stuck in repeat, it means they're going to finally cut the head off the snake and take things in a different direction

[ehh-is-the-name]

If liking to argue is a crime, then lock me up because I’m guilty as charged.

Just came out of a two and a half hour argument about whether a fictional character would be transphobic or not. Feeling pretty good, if I do say so myself (nobody won).

[08melancholie]

Hi! First of all: love your writings! Somehow you manage to give me exactly what I want. I have read the lessen your stress one, amazing. Thank you. Lots of loves from the other side of the screen.

Now, I would like to request a one shot Micah/F!Reader (or GN reader if you want) where a really sweet and kind Reader likes Micah and actually wants to sleep with him but is a virgin and kind of shy, in contrast with the rough, brute Micah we all know, who will obviously want to sleep with reader too (either bc he likes them back or simply bc he’s desperate and wants sex, you decide, just please don’t miss characterize him too much, I like my Micah as the asshole he is :’) <3

Thank you very much and I really appreciate your work! <3 have a good day!

thank you sm for the compliments <33 and dw because i like to also keep my men just as scummy at times🙏

Some aspects might be similar to 'Untouched' here (still attached to that fic like a leech chat..) but i'll make sure it still sounds new!

Lose Some; Gain Some. — Micah Bell/Reader

tags: Smut, Porn, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Micah Bell Is His Own Warning, Virginity, Loss of Virginity, Vaginal Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Sex, Orgasm, Multiple Orgasms, Rough Sex, but just a bit at the end, its micah he doesnt know how to be gentle sorry guys, Not Beta Read, no beta we die like micah bell

summary: You would rather take over doing everyone's chores in camp forever, than ask the question thats currently been plaguing your mind; one of your lowest lows, probably. You were told that a woman's virginity is a precious thing, how you had to lose it to the right person. This, however, you found to be total bullshit. And you wanted nothing more than the man who was Micah Bell to do it for you.

a/n: first ask yippiee!! i am so busy with exams oh lord i barely made time for this😭 i hope its to your liking!!! second ao3 post today im on a roll actually🙏🙏

words: 3,201 | AO3 LINK

Still being a virgin at this age is almost laughable. Well, it is; the girls haven't stopped teasing you since you told them during a game Mary-Beth told everyone about. You had to answer the question asked by Karen—about your sex life—or drink. You answered that you were still a virgin, and a few of them laughed; haven't stopped making jabs at you since. It's almost irritating.

And, your irritation made you slip up—by saying you'd lose your virginity tonight.

"What!? Tonight? With who?" Karen immediately snapped her head in your direction and away from the fresh laundry she and you were folding. There go the consequences of your actions. Who the hell do you even say?

You put down your own laundry back into your lap. "Well," You'll either have to lie your ass off, or go for the truth; but you sure as hell were not going for the latter. "guy I met in the saloon while we were still in Valentine, we've been writing." Not too bad.

Karen chuckled, thankfully buying into your lie. "Well, ain't I happy for you! It's about damn time, anyway." She goes back to the chore, like yourself, and continues your previous conversation.

Let's think logically—or, as logically as you could—about this; you don't exactly trust finding a random man in a bar to do this with, so who is going to eagerly take your virginity? Who would you ask that wouldn't tell anyone in camp about it, keep it between you two for the exchange of taking it from you? Who would you want to take your virginity?

You thought about how sweet Arthur would be; how he'd probably understand and treat you right, talk you through everything while praising you for following his instructions so well. Or maybe Charles; A gentle giant that would worship you as should be, show you how everything is done while talking in that deep tone you love to hear.

And then your mind went completely south of the previous two. You thought about how greedy he'd be, touching and moving his hands all over your body, wanting to feel every crevice under his rough fingertips. How he'd see taking your virginity as a precious thing, how you were told growing up, something you wanted him to have—and also as the biggest ego boost ever. He'd probably be a complete tease, too, nor would he talk you through the process like the other two. He'd probably just go for it, no instructions as you scrambled for what you had to do while he—

Jesus Christ, that's the last person you should be even 'just considering'.

Micah Bell is NOT an option here; forget it. Even if the heat between your legs didn't agree with these terms, you would not give your first time to that bastard. He was just an egotistical, rude, mouthy degenerate. Why the hell was the thought of how poorly he'd treat the situation getting you so worked up? You're practically soaking your garments over this bastard; and that's a problem.

Oh, but it's so tempting; this, unfortunately, wasn't the first time you've caught yourself thinking of him, imagining him in bed—which is reasonably worse than the former. Could you refuse yourself this small want? When you think about it, he might be one of the only people here who'd jump to get intimate without question, seeing how he catcalls and flirts with most of camp; including yourself a few times. God, were you really going to do this? How would you even bring it up?

This was something you needed to think of on the way, because it was nearing nighttime and you'd probably lose him to the darkness in the outskirts of camp, where he's usually found. As soon as you finished folding the laundry, you excused yourself from Karen and went to find Micah, thinking over what you would say to him. You had a whole dialogue figured out by the time you spotted him smoking by Baylock, probably having gotten done tending to the horse after the job he went on today. You really had to just brace yourself and follow your little plan, while hoping it'll turn out how you envisioned it to.

He noticed you approaching while you were a few steps away, the nervousness in your body language not hard to make out; hands clasped together, eyes focusing everywhere but on his own, your steps almost reluctant. He raised an eyebrow at you while taking a drag from the cigarette. "Look who it is; worried I'mma bite 'ya?"

You were barely able to give a reaction to his words, your nerves making you go almost silent. "Hah, no.. no, I'm..." Come on! We practiced this six times already! As soon as your eyes darted to his own greyish-blues, you lost your goddamn ability to speak. For the love of God; get your shit together. "Listen; this is very hard for me to even say out loud." Well, it's a good start.

Micah's eyebrows furrow slightly, your sudden shyness compared to the usual quips you could muster up back to his flirting or teasing very abnormal. But, he doesn't comment on it, wanting to hear you out before he teased you further. "Go on then, girl." He speaks, tossing his cigarette elsewhere.

The embarrassment this will leave you in will be history. "Okay.. so, uh.. I need your help with something—let's say." Your words just make him more confused; speaking to him in these absurd riddles. "Would you just.. hear me out?"

The blonde man nods after a moment, folding his arms over his chest while leaning back on the tree. Okay, you can get the words out, trust yourself.

"Would you.. and it's just a one-time thing, may I add." You start, a blush creeping up your neck and to your cheeks as you tried to think of what you were saying; you were about to ask Micah to get intimate with you. Yeah, you don't think this low can be matched. Nonetheless, no giving up now. "Would you take.. take my uh.. virginity?" As soon as the words leave your mouth, you have to hold back from fleeing the scene. "Listen—I lied to the girls and I just.. fuck, it's you."

Micah's had a small smirk on his face, mostly directed towards your nervous and shy state, until the sentence finally left your mouth. His smile dropped and he assumed he heard you wrong. "What'd you say.? Would I take.. your virginity?" He repeats back to you, definitely sure he's heard you wrong. But as you slowly nod your head, unable to open your mouth any longer, his eyes slowly widen a little more, rubbing his chin in thought. "Well, goddamn. You're one bold 'lil thing, ain'tcha?" Here comes the teasing you envisioned.

You roll your eyes to the comment. "I don't need your comments, Micah. You in or not? I'll gladly find someone else." You threaten, biting your cheek. Don't make me find someone else.

He perks up at your empty threat. "Hey—no, don't threaten me now, doll," He leans off the tree and gets right in your personal space, hands on his gun belt. "you know I love to help a lady in need out." He purrs at you, looking down almost menacingly.

"Good," You murmur, the closer he got the more nervous it made you. "then.. it's settled." It's only when he stands right before you, hands running up from your outer thighs to your sides, that you start processing what you've gotten yourself into.

His hands glide over your waist, feeling you up through your shirt. "Surprised yer still untouched, many would love a little body like this in their hands." His words and the small squeeze to your sides send butterflies straight to your stomach; you could practically lose it right then and there. "But it's only little ole me that gets it, huh?" His claim is followed by a darkish chuckle, ringing in your ears. He stops his hands over your ribs and the underside of your chest, looking down shamelessly at the little cleavage your shirt provides. "Well then; my tent?"

It took him barely a few seconds to get you through the flaps of his tent, tying the canvas shut and making sure you've got the bit of privacy camp life can offer. It takes him even less time to shove you down to his cot, seating yourself on the mattress and looking up at him settling atop you, knees around your outer thighs. "Don't you look pretty under me like this." His hands cup around the underside of your jawline, thumbs running up and down the outline of your face. "So, ever kissed a feller?"

You raise an eyebrow at the question. "Not that much of a prude." Your quick response gets a gruff chuckle out of him for a brief moment, before he'd leaned down and captured your lips with his, setting a nice and quick pace for the kiss. You return it with just as much swiftness, hand reaching for his belt buckle and gripping it, earning an appreciative sound out of Micah. "Good girl," His tongue swipes over your bottom lip, trying to enter your mouth rather quickly; but you don't complain, quickly complying. He gets himself an immediate taste of you, tongue swirling around in your mouth as if mapping out the contour of the body part. He goes back to exploring the rest of your body with his hands, moving them all around your sides and waist before stopping at the hem of your shirt and breaking away from your mouth briefly. "Let me see what I'm workin' with, doll." You breathe in the air that the kiss knocked out of you for a moment before wordlessly nodding, lifting your arms up for him to slide the shirt off, peeling it away from your torso and arms as you're sat almost bare from the stomach up now, only covered by your bra. Your shirt is tossed elsewhere, and he goes back to appreciating the view in front of him—or well, under him.

"Oh, you're perfect, little lady." He doesn't hesitate to reach his hands to your chest almost immediately, cupping you through the bra while running his thumbs on the upper flesh that was exposed. His fingers are as calloused as you envisioned, as if moulding your soft flesh with every swipe of his digits on your skin. He knows his way around your body, probably from the experience you lack. One hand stops groping you and moves to your back again, fiddling with your bra before unclasping it. Why is it that your shyness is only hitting you now? As soon as he starts moving your bra straps down to reveal your bare chest to him, you finally process that he's about to see you nude, and you definitely show some signs of reluctance. He notices your sudden demeanour change and looks from your chest to your eyes. "Come on, I don't judge, princess. Bet you're realll purty under here." His finger slips between your cleavage and hooks to the middle of your bra that connects the two pieces as he tugs at the material, slowly moving it away from your bare chest. It slips off your shoulders and arms, and you feel like a prey being inspected by it's hunter under that dark gaze Micah's blues hold. "Like I said.. damn beautiful."

Your shyness and nerves don't pass him by, and he doesn't want you to feel uneasy while he gets what he wants, so he decides to try and ease you up with another kiss, leaning up and snaking one hand to the back of your head to pull you in while the other went to your jean button, undoing it before moving to the zipper. The kiss definitely helped calm you a bit, your hands on his shoulders now as you clung to his shirt, kissing back with a small hum in your throat. He works your zipper down and hooks his fingers into your waistband, breaking the kiss again. "Lift your hips real quick," When you comply, he pulls your jeans down and you help him by kicking them off when they reach your ankles. His hand finds itself right between your legs, swiping at your still-clothed and warm entrance to find you just as aroused as he was. "damn, lookat'chu. Surprised a lady sweet as you'd be this wet over fuckin' a bastard like me." You almost moan at his comment, your garments definitely as damp as you felt them between your legs, drawing your shyness and embarrassment to a whole new level.

He leans away from you to strip his jeans off, first unclasping his gun belt and placing it over to where your shirt was, slowly moving into unzipping and undoing any other restraint that stopped him from getting naked. He looks to you—just watching him strip his pants off—and chuckles briefly. "Well? Get them panties off, sweetheart. Ain't need experience for that." You snap your eyes away from the small peek of a happy trail on his stomach that you, shamelessly at that, were staring at and stand up momentarily to slip your undergarments off, tossing them just shy of the other articles of clothing. "Mm, good, good.." He hums, letting his jeans drop before wasting no time with his drawls, slipping them off and freeing the leaky, visibly throbbing erection that was hidden in it. Your eyes scan over the length; it doesn't look too big, you can probably take it...

But where many assume Micah lacks in length—he makes up for in thickness.

He positions you to turn and bend over the cot slightly, hands on the mattress and back slightly arched. He's moving you around like a doll, positioning you to his liking. He lets out a small whistle when he's got you exactly how he wants you. "Ain't often I get a chance to do this type of thing... Almost feels like an early birthday gift." He chuckles while running one hand down your spine and moving to your hip, stroking himself with the other. He swipes two fingers over your entrance—earning himself a small moan—and uses it, mixed with some of his precum, to moisten his member up. "Now, might hurt a bit, ain't gonna lie to 'ya." You knew that much, mostly why you were adamant to the idea of sex for a while, but it can't be that bad, can it? "But we'll try to keep calm, eh girl?" He punctuates his last sentence with a squeeze to your hip before his tip slides between your warm folds, slickening himself up some more while he rubs his cock just shy of your entrance—unable to help himself from teasing you some. You let out a plethora of meek moans and huffs, your cunt itching for him to just ease it in. After a moment, he stops his tip at your entrance, ready to slide in. "I'mma go slow, try to make it.. durable for 'ya."

There's definitely a small stretch mixed into the overwhelming feeling of your walls being filled by Micah's thick shaft, clenching around him as you sigh and gasp to every inch filling you. "Shh, you're alright.. look," He reaches one hand over around you, two fingers pressing to your clit and making slow circles on it. Your sighs turn into small moans again. "Yeah.. good, focus on ma' hand, baby." He hums, slowly starting to bottom out into your pussy. His hips meet your rear as he continued to rub over your nub, giving you a brief moment to adjust before he pulls out to the tip—then slides right back in. The pain isn't as bad as people made it out to be, but some have a higher pain tolerance either way. You do your best to focus on the sensation Micah's rough fingers are playing on your clit, more than the way his cock slams into you and creates an almost echo-ey sound of skin-on-skin slapping, filling the tent with the suggestive melody.

The repetitive motion of his dick brushing your gummy walls has you on cloud-nine; you're gasping and moaning, letting his name slip past your lips in a pitched tone, grasping fistfuls of the sheets underneath you as his pace slowly gets faster per thrust. "Don't think it's smart I cum inside," He chuckles, punctuating himself with another slam of his hips into your ass, followed by your sweet little whine, almost like a protest. "you want me to?" He asks curiously due to your whine, and his grin gets so much wider when you nod your head, and his pace turns relentless. He starts fucking into you how he likes, trying to get himself to cum while rubbing you faster to get you there with him. "Can't wait to feel you clench this pretty cunt around me," He purrs with a small kiss to the nape of your neck before his focus is back on fucking his throbbing cock into you, getting himself closer by the moment.

You feel your own orgasm start to approach, your legs slightly jittery from the upcoming feeling. Micah takes quick note of this change and rubs your clit faster, drawing more whiny moans out of you that get muffled by the action of burying your head into the mattress; last thing you need is someone hearing you moaning Micah's name. Your whines are breathless and abrupt, getting cut off by each of Micah's quick thrusts into your cunt, all until you finally feel yourself tip over the edge and you cum, the clench of your pussy around Micah enough to get him there just a moment after you. He buries his cock deep into you, holding you up from collapsing into the bed by the hips as his chest makes contact with your back, the side of his head on the very top of your torso as he gasps breathlessly. "Ah.. there we go.." You can feel him empty himself inside you, your shaky legs barely supporting you with Micah doing most of the work.

He gives himself a moment before pulling out and placing you down to lay on the cot. "Let me tell you somethin', darlin';" He gets his underwear and jeans off the floor, slipping into both before leaning over you to whisper into your ear. "This definitely ain't 'gon be a one-time thing—not with how addicting that cunt is, or with how 'ya love to scream my name." He purrs lowly while clasping his gun belt back up, running a hand down your spine and stopping at your ass with a firm squeeze before moving you to lay more comfortably on his bed. "Well, get comfortable, think I'm up for a smoke.." He lazily tosses a random blanket in his tent over you—it's the thought that counts, apparently—before leaving you in his tent to rest up.

And you agree; he's addicting, and you will be fucking again.

Kudos on AO3 very appreciated!! we love the micah smut where hes still an ass to us <3

[filmbyjy]

How hyung line would look after you on your period ?

a/n: oh actually I’ve done one with the whole group before but since this is only for the hyung line, it’s going to be a new one! also it’s great to know i’m currently on my period as I started writing this🧌currently dying👍🏻

WARNING: since it is the hyung line, i'm making it more suggestive than usual. why? bc these four have me on chokehold. which also means minors please do not interact. mentions about giving head. mentions of makeout. i'm putting this in the smut tag only bc i realise the more i write, the more i want to go further😀.

enhypen reacts [hyung line]: taking care of you during your period

— placing this in case the read more messes up —

❦ heeseung

oh lee heeseung…holding back myself bc i may pounce

but anyways, i've said in my other post with the whole group, heeseung would definitely be sweet

he buys you pads whenever you run out (with addition of him being terrified by the heaps of pads and tampons in that section)

helps make tea (or coffee but i'm more of tea girl) when you feel in pain.

helps you distract from your cramps by making you laugh

he still that sweet boyfriend but...

his patience is at the low when he's getting hot and heavy.

i mentioned that heeseung now uses kisses to make you feel better whenever you are having cramps.

and when those kisses get carried away, you bet your asses you will be laid back onto the couch as heeseung hovers over you.

and he would get annoyed if your cramps interrupt his kissing session with you.

if it escalates even further, you have to stop him and remind him that you are on your period.

to which, he groans

"i just want to give you some love. why does mother nature have to come at the worst timing." he complains.

oh lee heeseung, you wished god never made women suffer with periods every month but there was no choice.

so to suffice heeseung's lust, you umm well offer him to give him head.

and yes, he agreed bc who wouldn't want to receive head from their significant other.

❦ jay

okay so i've mentioned before that since jay is an only child, he wouldn't know much about periods and stuff

after all, the only womanly figure around him is his mom.

however, he does quickly learn how to handle these sorts of things bc well he is simply park jongseong.

and once he becomes a pro at it then yay! happy girlfriend = happy jay

now for the suggestive part...

jay, to put it quite frankly, has a high sex drive. i won't lie

but he is a patient man so he will wait

however, not when you've been teasing him.

you've gotten more horknee during your period and like you have a hunk of a boyfriend

how are you not supposed to tease him

your kisses always lingered on him and it makes him want to swoop you in and kiss you hard

but he knows he shouldn't

"love, we shouldn't." jay says.

"but i just want to kiss you."

"if i kiss you, i won't be able to control myself."

but of course, you kissed him.

it ends with you and him having clothed sex and yes, it was the hottest thing you've done with jay.

❦ jake

i've mentioned that jake has 'golden retriever' energy

and it's true he does

he would be a good boy and run around helping you whenever he needs to

bc he loves you

which does make him sound like a total simp, which he is. however, do you wear the pants in the relationship?

unfortunately, you don't bc although jake is all 'happy puppy', he can turn into a total menace with you.

tbh, he hates whenever you have your period. sure he takes care of you and whatever.

but to him, a period is like cockblocker

he can't have sex with you

and we all can tell that he has a high sex drive (read: scorpio sign staring right back at you)

so like whenever, it's that time of the month...jake has no choice but to either jerk off or be holy and not touch himself

if he decides to stay holy is bc he would rather feel you than use his hands.

however, if he can't wait then his right hand will be of use.

❦ sunghoon

i didn't mention much in hoon's side bc it was just crack

and honestly, it's true

sunghoon just wants to liven up the mood bc he knows it probably hurts

or well you told him how much it hurts

sunghoon doesn't enjoy seeing you in pain so he opts to make you smile

or well...see you flustered

sunghoon likes to also tease you during your period

why? bc you can't do anything about it

little does he know, your hormones go way worse when it's that time of the month.

he will trap you against a wall, lean down to nearly kiss your lips and then pulling away.

you hate it but you also loved it bc god you loved the tension whenever it happens.

finally, you cracked. you wrapped your arms around sunghoon's neck and kissed him. he wasn't fazed by it since he wanted this too.

it escalates further, you were in the bedroom. straddling sunghoon's lap still kissing him and grinding down on him.

sunghoon knows this should stop but he drunk off the feeling, it had been a long time (it was only 2-3 days).

you had ended it off by giving him head and he helped you out by letting you ride his thigh.

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

There are so many things I could say to this but I'm not wasting a couple hours trying to convince the local Edelstan mindset, so I'll make this brief since I'm not even sure why you're replying to me when we're clearly never going to agree and because this reblog exists solely for the sake of arguing instead of letting people just talk about what they like freely:

Having crestless people who are strong and capable gave commoners hope. That's important. It means people don't need a Crest to get those positions.

Dimitri doesn't need to end the nobility. It's not corrupt in Faerghus the way it is in Adrestia (save for the western side that is influenced by Agarthans and is actively an issue in AG that is being dealt with, and somewhat Leicester (inb4 someone says Rodrigue is corrupt lmfao). Also, Edelgard never actually dismantled the nobility. In fact, it stays in tact and all her friends keep her positions. Welcome to CF and its ending cards.

^ You can't use Crests as an excuse here because you just said Miklan being in power doesn't mean squat.

Dimitri wants reforms too, but the difference is that he's working on them and not preparing for war for two years. He also knows not to rush those reforms because Lambert already did that and literally lost his head for it. It's called learning from mistakes of the past, not inaction. If slow progress is what it takes, that's what it takes. If it takes war without even an attempt at diplomacy, that's a problem.

^ Edelgard's issues are Adrestia's issues and she's acting like those problems are all of Fodlan's when they're not. All she wants is to conquer Fodlan like the emperor's before her, and this is factually stated by her in the game and Duke Aegir in AG (that all previous emperors had this exact same goal that she actively regularly states in her own routes) on the latter.

Rhea is fighting for the humans in Fodlan. Oh, sorry, should she be fighting for the entire world? Edelgard doesn't do that either. In fact, she refers to Fodlan alone as "the world". And no, Rhea's not fighting for Adrestia, because they're literally fucking waging war against her and trying to kill her! Same with Leicester in GW/SB, so why should she?

This is clearly all just regurgitation of a Dimitri and Rhea hater who can't cope with people not agreeing with their Edel-chan. I was discussing things amongst my mutuals and followers, so no idea why you just had to butt in to argue at us. Oh no, how dare we discuss our thoughts with each other! Gotta get the local Edelstan in as soon as someone talks highly of Dimitri, because Dimitri BaD no matter he does, and all he can ever be is jelaous of Edel-chan! Man could hand out candy on Halloween to the kids and people would call him evil for feeding them carbs.

Let people have a good conversation together. If you don't like it, keep scrolling. Do you see me going into pro Edelgard posts to argue that she's wrong? No. You know why? Because I'm sick of the arguing and negativity that surrounds her, and this post was to discuss aspects of AG.

Evidently you saw people enjoying AG's content and Dimitri's content and had to butt in because it was too pro Dimitri for you. I don't go into pro Edelgard posts because I don't like her. I don't go into pro Edelgard posts to go in there and tell everyone how strange and wrong they are. If you don't like Dimitri or his storyline/AG's storyline, don't butt into pro AG/Dimitri posts.

Like, seriously? Common courtesy. Don't bring in your character negativity to try to uplift another character (especially a character that the people in the conversation clearly don't enjoy) when the people involved in the discussion are clearly enjoying the content you don't like.

And don't even try to spin this as "wow I can't give my opinions". There's a time and place, and butting into people's conversations to tell them they're wrong and that their views are "strange" simply because you don't agree with them is a dick move. All I see you doing is handpicking pro Dimitri and pro Rhea fans and arguing at them when they say anything positive about those characters on their own blogs, in their own spaces. Oh no, how daaare someone like those characters and not Edelgard! Better argue with them!

And don't even try to say "but I found random's posts in the tags!" Even if you did, my post was a reblog, so it wouldn't show up in any public tags. You went out of your way to argue with me because I like a character you don't and dislike a character you like, evidently couldn't wrap your head around that, and had to argue. I know you've been doing this to other Dimitri and Rhea fans.

Literally y'all like I was over here discussing my love for Miklan and his place in the story and this person gotta be like Dimitri BaD.

It's wild how FE fans can't even just be... FE fans anymore. We're not even safe in our spaces anymore to talk about what we love. As soon as you play Houses and like a particular character, that's it. Suddenly it's a free for all where you're automatically involved in discourse because you've played the game and have posted about characters you like from that game.

I'm having a really hard time fathoming how some people consider SB to be a righteous/heroic route or a route where we're the good guys. The route where:

You invade two independent nations under the pretence of "saving their citizens from oppression" (though I guess you can't be oppressed anymore if you're dead lol) even though Her Majestic Hypocrisy repeats a bunch of times that she's in for conquest and that she'd obliterate anyone who stands in her way.

The cast keeps victim-blaming the invaded parties for *checks note* defending their countries. 

The death toll is the highest. You have to kill Ingrid, Rodrigue, Gustave and Sylvain. And you can also kill Ashe, Mercedes (btw, if she dies, the cutscene where Dimitri and Dedue grieve changes slightly, which is nice), Annette, Shamir, Ignatz, Raphael and Marianne (how does Margrave Edmund feel about Claude's alliance with the empire knowing his daughter was killed by its army?). 

IIRC, this is the only route where you conscript merchants into the imperial army. No wonder the empire has the biggest army.

Based Rhea who, despite being hunted, still thinks about the safety of the continent first in the final chapter. It's hilarious how characters like Edespot or Clyde harp on about how Rhea is the big bad, and in the few scenes you have with her, she's just kind? Anyway. Rhea based.

In the C support conversation - which happens right after Felix got seriously injured and Sylvain got killed- there's this bit where Dimitri is like "I don't know if I can talk with like everything is normal, so many have died already" and Edespot's response is basically "yeah I don't see it that way. Let's agree to disagree". Also, I believe she wonders if she shouldn't just kill Clyde and Dimitri once they're out. Even though Clyde is her ally at the moment. You bet on the wrong lord, Clyde... 

I probably forgot a few stuff, but... oh well.

To be honest,

The only things I like about Supreme Bullshit are :

Its ending! Supreme Leader and Barney (well, at least they throw a sword?) being sitting ducks while Rhea steals the show, and sacrifices herself in an epic shonen scene to get rid of the real threat, aka showing that unlike someone, she knows how to prioritize, and it ends up in an explosion. It matches the ending of the F-Zero anime (at 0.48!), Rhea/Falcon rushes to deal a blow (a Falcon punch and a Seiros strike I guess?) to their mortal enemy, there is a giant explosion, and both Rhea/Falcon fade away in a blinding light. Too bad the Supreme Bullshit BGM is eons away from "Searching to the Truth" :(

The reveal that Rhea kept the keys to the sekrit passages in the Imperial Palace - or Rhea knows more about Enbarr and its castle than the current Emperor and her aides...

Doro's paralogue being incredibly tone deaf about, uh, soldiers being "too busy" by the Mittelfrank troupe, that they can't basically protect the dancers/performers from bandits, when the paralogue happens in an area that is expressedly supposed to be full of soldiers!

If starts align in a certain way, it's the only route in Nopes where Clout dies!

Leopold! He's like Victarion Greyjoy, only if he was taken seriously. But we, as players, know better! Also he's a living retcon, from having a major cichol crest to gift to his son because he fought well (and not to, say, Big B or even Ferdie) a sacred weapon despite the route being all about muhritocracy!

Supreme Leader plans and plays with the cards she has in her hand - from trying to get good PR to get rid of people (Varley sr) by pitting them against her next target (the CoS)!

An entire game full of new Supreme Replies (tm)!

For shippers around, it has a Cathmir scene where everyone knows Shamir will prioritize Catherine's life over her allegeance! too bad this is a Supreme Leader route, so no, Shamir won't fucking try to kill her for blackmailing her and can even kill Catherine herself later on....

That's not a lot lol, and most of it are breadcrumbs because for the proper plot...

Yeah, it kinds of sucks.

Supreme Bullshit is even more tone deaf with the War and its realities than Tru Piss (and that's a feat!), Ferdie being completely, uh, off the mark about everything (invading lands and rekting people, and then saying those people's fears are only in their heads! Pal, one of the first missions in the SB exclusive chapters is to rout refugees??? + the nonsense about the Kingdom having more crested generals, when data shows the Empire has more crested peeps than the Kingdom!), Caspar being turned in the worst version of himself who dgaf anymore about protecting "innocents" and "justice", and, uh, everything with Monica.

Victim blaming is the norm with Fodlan games, but yeah, it really feels odd that suddenly, in the Zahras chapters, Dimitri's all "okay" when his closest friends either died or were grievly injured and the game proceeds as it does when, come on, why wouldn't Dimitri kill her the second they're out of the Zahras verse??

I really disliked how Supreme Bullshit yeeted Ionius from Adrestia, or how it didn't explore in more depth the Insurrection of the Seven, especially since we side with Leopold'n'Waldemar against Ludwig, who used to be allies! Also, as far as I remember, no one mentions anything about Arundel, why he ran away to the Kingdom with a young Supreme Leader and how he changed when he returned, or something?

If Ludwig is pushed by Supreme Leader, reciting her Dad's words, as the one who led the insurrection and the experiments on her, why the fuck no one else mentions them, as Leopold and Waldemar were on Aegir's side back then? They don't even mention "Arundel" participating, like, Volkhard sides against Ionius and hides his niece, but 3 months later, he returns and offers her as a guinea pig?

As is the norm with the Supreme Leader routes, the "truth" isn't what we're looking for, because we know Supreme Leader pushes a narrative she will follow to reach her goals, but where Tru Piss gave hints here and there about her narrative being, uh, rubish, we have no clues here, and Leopold prefers to flash his loincloth than giving us anything meaningful about that incident.

When you compare them to Matthias and Rodrigue (and Gilbert?) who often mention Lambert "back in the days", it's more and more obvious that... we're not supposed to ask questions in Supreme Bullshit, and just go with the flow.

And it ends with a high five.

I'd say it deviates less from Tru Piss than Golden Shower does from Verdant Winds, but it's an "expected disappointment".

That's why my only higlights are not plot relevant (save for the Captain Falcon - Rhea parallel) - because we know the plot will never deliver something meaningful in a Supreme Leader route.

[swanqueenelmaxshadowhunters]

Lmao I just came across a one shot rewriting of this scene:

And holy shit milkvans are really the ctrashes (shippers from another fandom I'm part of) from st fandom lmao

Will was completely erased from the scene and they still said sorry not sorry about it and made it all about Mike, even painting Nancy as wrong for siding with Max/defending that El knew her limits better than anyone

They wrote Mike as this totally baby who was just really worried about El while everyone else, especially Nancy and Max, didn't give a shit about her or her safety.

they made Max and Nancy apologize for standing up for El saying they were being selfish and not considering Mike's feelings or El's wellbeing, making El turn against Max and that finding Billy wasn't important at the moment bc Mike was hurt and he needed her lmao

it was so much bullshit that I couldn't even read everything lol

now, I won't put the link or anything related here because despite not liking, I don't think the author deserves any kind of hate (that they will probably get if others bump into their fic) because everyone is allowed to their point of view about how a scene should have happened, or how a character should have responded to a certain situation (yes, I'm really proud of myself for not replying or rebloging that post and being a dick to the author, I have grown so much lol)

but that doesn't mean I can't talk about it on my own blog (as long as I don't tag anyone or put any links to their work) because I'm honestly tired of seeing this kind of thing happening over and over again in every fandom

the het shippers changing the narrative to justify their fav male character shit behavior while they really don't care about the female character because if they did, they wouldn't have made that scene all about Mike

anyway, sorry about this long ass rant that somehow seems unfinished but it's not.

[imminent-danger-came]

https://www.tumblr.com/acoraxia/751189590385328128/i-do-want-to-like-macaque-but-the-way-the-only?source=share

I feel like this post is wrong, and not just bc I love macaque, just the shadowpeach relationship and the parallels they provide to other relationships and macaque parallels to other characters feels like such a vital part to lmk as a whole. But I'm not good at words, so asking for your imput

I don't want to, like, "gossip" behind anyone's back or anything, so I'll open this up to a discussion with @acoraxia! Hello, how are you, I hope you're having a good day.

(Here's the post if others are interested in readin' it!)

Now, I love Macaque, and I think he's one of the most important characters in the show. I presume "theater kid antics" is referring to Macaque's dramatic nature, but I'd hardly call that his defining characteristic. Macaque is a loser: he's spiteful, he's selfish, he's cowardly, he's paranoid, he's god awful at communication, he's obsessive (particularly over Wukong)...but we've also seen the ways he can put the world/others above himself (3x13, 3x14, 4x10, 4x14), and how he's capable of self-reflection and overcoming his past hurt/hatred ("Wukong was on a path of self-destruction...we all were"). We're, dare I say, at a point now where I'd even call Macaque reliable, in his own way. He'll show up for MK & Wukong, he'll "stick his neck out" for them, and I'm honestly so proud that he chose to stay till the end in 4x14 (versus his choice to run in 3x10). It's wild to me that he's the only 3 of the monkeys who has actually had a positive character arc, but that's just where we're at currently.

I think the claim that you could "remove him from the story and it wouldn’t change much" is greatly downplaying Macaque's role and importance to Wukong, both narratively/thematically and as a character. DBK and Wukong weren't close, but for Macaque, Wukong was his entire world. He (along with Wukong's fear of mortality) was the reason the great Monkey King reached for power in the first place. Both DBK and Azure had their own goals outside of Wukong (not that DBK particularly cared for SWK anyways)—what's important about Macaque as a character is that his motivation and loyalty was only for Wukong, and not towards any greater purpose or goal. Macaque and MK are very similar in that way: neither of them have lofty aspirations, and they are completely content with "quitting while they're ahead" ("Why didn't he just stop, right here? He was already so much stronger than anyone ever needed to be" ; "You're the one who wouldn't quit while we were ahead!"). Both hate change, and both have been hurt by their belief in Wukong.

I'm admittedly a bit...I guess confused, by this opinion, as entire episodes (1x09, 2x07, 3x04, 4x10, 4x11) are centered around Macaque and his relationship to both Wukong and MK. Macaque is there to show us the ways in which Wukong has both abandoned and hurt the ones he loves; he's a very important foil to both MK and Mei, as well as other characters like Azure. That's Monkie Kid's main theme right, the fact that you'll hurt your loved ones and they'll hurt you, but you love and care about them anyways (I have a whole tag around lmk's hurt/pain theme, for those interested).

Let's look at a few examples of this, particularly involving Macaque, Wukong, Mei, and MK:

Macaque: "Come on! Show me the real Sun Wukong! The old you would have leveled this whole mountain range to stop me, but you're scared of hurting some kid? Pathetic!"

(1x09 Macaque)

-

Sun Wukong: "STOP! If you hurt that kid I'll-" Macaque: "-What. Make things worse for MK?"

(3x09 The King, the Prince, and the Shadow)

-

Mei: "Time and time again I've watched you put MK in danger leaving him to figure out EVERYTHING on his own. Don't you realize you're hurting the people who care about you the most?"

(3x10 The Samadhi Fire)

-

MK: "Until I know what I am, what my destiny is? I can’t risk hurting the people I care about—the ones I have left."

(4x08 The Brotherhood)

-

(the 3x10 and 4x08 ones are direct parallels in particular, which I know I never shut up about them, but they're so, so important to understand for the Monkey's (+ Mei) arcs.)

In seasons 3 and 4, both MK and LBD have posited that no matter what you do, whether or not what you think you're doing is right, it all leads "to pain". That's an extremely consistent thread throughout the entirety of the show, going as far back as 1x01 ("Whenever I try to do anything, I just gunk everything up!" -> "No matter what I do, it’s going to lead to pain [...] it doesn’t matter if I want to help people or not! Everything I do just- it just makes things worse!"). While Wukong never wanted to hurt his loved ones (for the sweet sweet "This isn't what I wanted!" Azure parallel), he did. He's a very flawed Monkey, but he does try and he has changed for the better, and that's what's important, right? That's something even Macaque has understood by the s4 special ("Monkey King really was a bad guy?" "That's what I believed...what Azure would have you believe. Then, he met him: the monk.")

You can't really...pawn-off Macaque's role onto other people. Structurally, we needed a tragic best-friend character who was deeply wounded by Wukong in the past, who has then come to accept/forgive him (for the most part, give-or-take). That way, you can have someone who has seen/experienced Wukong's flaws then defend him, both for MK's sake and in contrast to Azure having a literal world-ending breakdown over (his crush on) Wukong. DBK can't be that character, Azure can't be that character, and the Mayor is a much weaker antagonist for s3, unable to provoke MK + the main gang in quite the same way—as well as being completely removed from the themeing and Wukong's hero/warrior dynamic.

Macaque, as demonstrated in 2x07, views the "hero" as someone who leaves, someone who abandons their friends to the shadows. MK completely up ends that world-view in 3x10, refusing to abandon Mei "when she needs" him ("We're heroes! It's what we do!"). It's literally one of my favorite scenes in the whole show, and it completely hinges on Macaque being there and then leaving (much like Macaque's arc hinges on Mei being the fourth ring).

I'm just like...I personally can't imagine a version of lmk where Macaque isn't there to be a foil to both MK and Wukong. I rewatched Shadow Play just yesterday, and that episode is so delightful, let me tell you:

"Welcome, viewers, to a shadow play the likes of which have never been seen! It follows the tragic tale of a legendary Warrior, and how those who bring light into this world inevitably bring darkness to those they hold dear..."

Ah you mean like...hurting the people you care about the most, perchance.

2x07 parallels 4x02, especially between the shadow-lamp itself and the scroll—while Wukong's MIA, Macaque regales his memories of Wukong, imprisoning MK's friends and forcing MK to fight "dark" versions of them? Sound familiar?

(familiar tales...new adventures...)

Which, that's a bit of a tangent, but I do think it demonstrates the ways in which Macaque is important to the foundation of this story. MK and Wukong, Wukong and Macaque, MK and Mei...those are the core dynamics of the show for me, you know. If Macaque wasn't there, I quite honestly don't know where we'd be

[lemonhemlock]

so, i'm going through your anti team black tag and living my best life, but one post in particular that you made got me thinking.

“george made damn sure rhaenyra’s bloodline sat on the throne at the end bc, if the hightowers won, house targaryen would have been reformed, and he couldn’t kill them all off at the end of the main series”

i'm pretty sure this might've just been a joke, but it makes me curious. do you think something like a targaryen reformation would be possible, hypothetically speaking? i certainly wouldn't mind it in a "greens win" AU scenario, but that's just me. i wanna know if anyone else sees potential in this. 💚💚💚

Hello, yes, this was mostly a joke, as it happens. 😅 (anon is referring to this post) To introduce another lengthy parenthesis, I remember at the time that some of the reactions to that post were in the range for "why doesn't anyone understand that the Hightowers are also feudal lords vying for their own interests and not some great reformists out to save Westeros", which... Listen. 😄 To put equitably, this fandom has a considerable issue with knowing when to level criticism and when to just treat banter as lighthearted horsing around and not take it too seriously. Something which even I'm not exempt from, I don't think. 🤷‍♀️

So, in the interest of making a meme, that post was kind of half-true in that it simplified a more nuanced concept (that was never an avenue that the author decided to explore anyway) for the sake of humour. I have, in the past, detailed my thoughts on House Hightower and what I think is their role in the wider narrative. This is based on the information we have on them presently. If I'm wrong, then I'm wrong. Who knows, maybe Lord Leyton and Melara plan on blowing Oldtown up for shits and giggles. We don't have to guess everything correctly - another aspect this community struggles with in their fandom wars and obsession with having the most correct, morally pure take.

Regardless, yes, the Hightowers obviously are a privileged family at the top of the social food chain, benefitting from the exploitation awarded by feudalism - a political-economic system based on vast inequality. Therefore, any type of reform they might be willing to undertake will be limited and not really something that significantly changes the status-quo. Just like the beloved, fan-favourite, and mostly confirmed "winners" - the Starks. A third element that our fandom has trouble accepting is the concept of incremental change. I feel like it would basically be a truism to point out that incremental change has been the most reliable vector of socio-economic evolution throughout human history. So, bad news for them, I suppose, but any superficial study of history will reveal that feudalism hardly collapsed overnight. Which leads us back to the idea that any small change, no matter how limited, does matter in the long run, because, as time passes, it will be compounded with another small change and so on.

Anyway, coming back to the question. Would Targaryen reformation be possible? Certainly! GRRM could have made up any story he wanted. Anything is possible if you plan for it and it makes sense within your worldbuilding. As it stands, the Targaryens are foreigners with a questionable culture, hailing from a land that used to engage in practices that even the feudal Westerosi found backwards, distasteful, barbaric or immoral: slavery, human sacrifice, incest, great feats of violence such as pillaging and conquering neighbouring lands for the sake of feeding their population to their volcano gods etc. The Targaryens also have fire-breathing monsters that, while not exactly enough all the time to prevent any rebellions from happening, are weapons that no one else has access to and that can cause a great deal of damage that no one else can replicate.

So, in order to "reform" and integrate, they would need to renounce all that. They would need to do it the traditional way. They do some of the work, but never go all the way. They accept the main religion of the land, but they don't let go of inter-marrying, because they don't want to lose their access to dragons. There are attempts to integrate, but, by the time of the events of the main series, they have returned to incest. Funnily enough, Aegon V plays a role in both - he marries outside of the family and has no dragons left, but his succeeding son and daughter marry each other and, eventually, Aegon decides that bringing back dragons is not such a bad idea after all. I do think that the symbolic weight of Daenerys having both her parents and her grandparents as brother-sister sets is laying the "dragon blood" metaphor thick - and that it holds more magical weight than any mathematical calculation of her actual watered-down Targaryen DNA.

In any such scenario where GRRM decided to go down a Targaryen reformation path, IMO it would have been thematically-relevant to ease into it via a marriage alliance with one of the oldest families in Westeros - a well-respected, rich house that also has close links to both the only centre of higher education and the main religious organization in the land. Hence the meme. :) But it doesn't last and the Targaryens go back to their dastardly ways eventually, that's the point of them in the story, because the author chose it to be the point.

[celestie0]

Hello!! I wanted to ask some advice 😞 I have a fic idea but I've never posted any writing before and its like a very very specific band au and I'm scared no one will care to read it because of how much music context it requires 😭 I really admire your writing so like...what do you suggest...

(Also super excited for next kickoff ! I've never been this invested in a fic)

hii my love!! omg a band au sounds like so much funnn are you kiddinggg i would eat that UPPP. my advice would be to just go ahead n write it!!! it's super nervewracking to share work, especially if you've never shared before, so for the time being you can just write w the idea that no one else will read it except for yourself! that'll help you establish a healthy relationship w your writing & your hobby in general even before you post should you choose to post

as for the specificity n music context, i personally think thats SO FUCKIN RAD!!! i love a story where i can enjoy a romance but also have aspects outside of it that i can learn something new from or take something away from. i have read some pretty incredible fics & books, but the ones that have always had a lasting impact on me are the ones i went into knowing nothign ab a specific something, but then i leave it feeling like i've learned something i wouldn't have ever known before!!

it's a totally valid feeling though, esp in fanfiction where you might think readers want to read ab only their fave characters or specifically romance. i felt this way a lot with including the film major & photography aspect to kickoff, i feared readers would find it boring and would just want to read ab gojo x reader. i think in ch9, gojo only had like 40% of the chapter screentime and didn't even make his first appearance until like 5k words into the chapter, but i'm still really happy w the chapter and the response i got was great too. i see some of my writer mutuals break the norms n experiments w their stories all the time too, and honestly, i think that makes for some of the BEST and most MEMORABLE stories :)

as for fears that people may not see your story, i totally get that. keep in mind, i think the jjk fandom specifically doesn't really have too many long fics, at least compared to what i've seen in other fandoms, n tends to steer towards oneshot content (i could be wrong ab this but it's just what i've noticed! at least on tumblr. long fics always get lots of love on ao3 tho) so don't worry too much if you're not getting as many notes or reblogs etc as some other authors, bc if you choose to post series content, then you'll technically be in a niche category for this specific fandom. BUT i have noticed that the quality of interactions w longer stories is very amazing and totally worth being a part of this writing community for that reason!!

when i first started posting, i really didn't know what to expect since the last time i had a fanfic blog was for like two months when i was 12 on deviantart LOL. and now i'm just extremely blown away n humbled by the support. but that's the thing- you'll never ever know unless you try! again, just write and picture it that you're the only one that's going to read it, so put all that juicy music context in there n really write w that passion in mind!! (i'm assuming you're into music or bands n that's your inspiration? don't be afraid to let that interest show!!) and that's really the only thing you need to get started, after that it's just simply copy pasting n then posting :)

if you do get around to posting or sharing it then feel free to tag me bb!! i'd love to read it n support you. good luck to u n much love!! <33 i hope this helps in anyway

and thank you for looking forward to kickoff :)

ps. in case you want any specific writing advice i have some on my page here (sorry bb i just realized i wasn't sure if you were asking for actual concrete writing advice haha my bad if i misinterpreted)

[hungerpunch]

starting in april '23 i used bereal to take one picture per day at a random time decided by the app. if you don't know, it works by sending a push notification at a randomized time and you have i think 2 minutes to take a photo. every photo uses both your phone's front-facing camera and your rear camera, so you get a capture of your surroundings as well as your own face. there are no filters, there is no editing. you can follow your friends but there is no algorithm, there are no tags, there is no search, it's chronological. there are no ads (yet). when the next push happens, the one previous is removed from the feed. i follow 12 friends so i'm only ever seeing 12 photos max. it is beautiful in its simplicity and honesty to me.

anyway i became invested bc i liked the idea of being able to download all my photos at the end of the year and reviewing them. it's been really interesting, fun, illuminating, made me think about how i spent most of my time (frowning in front of my work laptop), and see what i want to change going forward (more outside, more community, more smiling).

selfies under the cut, which i will eventually remove from this post dw.

i spent what felt like too much time in the car this year. there were definitely lots of trips that necessitated a car, don't get me wrong, but so then i want to create more opportunities to not use the car. i already walk everywhere i feel i'm able, but walking isn't my only alternative. maybe if i'm going on a trip where i don't have a lot of stuff to take or bring back but i still want to take munch, i figure out how to take the train instead. or maybe if there's an errand to run and the weather is not dangerous, we take the bike.

left: morning snap. a regular weekday for me. i prefer working from home but it does pose its own challenges; most days, i'm rolling out of bed at the last second to get right to my computer. there's no intention behind the coffee i make or any breakfast i might have, it's just whatever is easiest (and sometimes nothing at all). a 2024 goal is to force myself to get up a little earlier so i can take my time brewing good coffee, selecting something to eat, and maybe do a little stretching or reading before going to work.

right: more food. i got into a really bad habit of just putting off eating and putting off eating during the workday because i was so busy. "after i finish this one last thing" i'd say, and then that thing would become two, three, etc. and i wouldn't be eating lunch til 3pm. i want to start carving out an actual lunch break for myself again.

this is what i want more of!!! more outside, more being with community, more exploring, more smiling, more caring, more. i don't mean being in constant action i just mean more of what's good. more intentional resting. more intentional nourishing. more intentional eating and hugging and reading and snuggling and kissing and napping and dancing and protesting and listening and more life. more being engaged in living my life.

[weird-dere]

OK @rukkhashavaaa the yapping begins >:3

In response to this post in which you put these tags:

YES‼️

I love this actually uwu.

Not genuine enemies to lovers, but probably me lowkey mistaking it as so.

Like don't get me wrong, from when I very first met him, I could tell Ichigo was a good guy. I knew he had a good heart.

But like trying to get close to him was a little scary at times? Maybe it was the smolder he was always wearing. And he didn't say a whole lot when he was around me.

I still treated him like everyone else, and was very cordial with him, but inside my heart would be always be racing like crazy. And after our interactions are over I am always just overthinking things and cringing at awkward parts (or at least what I perceived to be).

Also seeing him beat some ass was cool, and especially relieving if he was doing it to protect me in some instance, but also HOW MANY PEOPLE DID HE HAVE TO BEAT UP IN THE PAST TO GET THAT GOOD? I chose to believe that he would never hurt anyone that didn't deserve it, but y'know sometimes the mind wandered.

Anyways the way he acted around me, sometimes short with me, sometimes semi ignoring me, made me think he didn't like me despite my efforts to slowly become friends.

But I couldn't have been more wrong bc he was being weird CUS HE IS ACTUALLY A SHY LITTLE GUY AND LIKES ME A LOT BUT DOESNT KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT.

Everyone in his circle promises he actually thinks pretty highly of me, but it's hard for me to see cus he isn't normal about it lmao, and maybe a part of me is convinced he just wouldn't like me bc black woman vs japanese beauty standards perhaps who knows.

One day the gang invites me out to eat with them and I accept. Somehow I end up sitting next to him and we're all sharing yakisoba.

We both somehow don't realize we are chewing on a shared noodle and no one else there decides to stop what happened.

I am zoning out at the moment, and ichi is in his own head next to me a little bit. So as we turn to eachother our brains aren't braining. And then our lips touch and we freeze. Our eyes shoot to one another's and we just stare, shocked.

Our brains finally catch up, and we both quickly pull apart, apologizing, blushing messes. I want the ground to swallow me whole, and he is just dying.

The rest of the hangout goes fine, but we're both very shy about being around each other.

The next week, I receive a text from him asking if we could talk sometime. My heart beat quickens, my face warms, but I accept despite my fears and we schedule a date and time. And when we next meet is when he tells me how he feels about me.

Once he's finished what he had to say, I start crying. I'm happy, relieved; I almost can't believe it.

He lowkey starts going panic mode when seeing my tears but when I hug him, he relaxes. And I tell him I feel the same.

And then our story begins <3

[oh-my-damn]

Chris and Alba are messy we discuss it’s not a big deal, if people don’t like it, then don’t visit the blog. Also anons like to hide and try to tag you, that’s lame and that blogger needs to stop posting things in the freaking hashtag I hate when people do that. //

I got an ask with more than this in it, but I figured it would be a good intro to what I'm about to post. I keep receipts and I was not aware this was still going on today. That happened last night (for me) and I was blocked quite early on so I was not aware of what this person was doing all day.

So here is a timeline for y'all. With receipts.

Here is the original post that I responded to and my response:

Here is what I responded to her response, a response from an anon on her blog, and the post she made directly tagging me:

I was blocked after this. Now, people came to my defense when they saw this, and no, I did not "call on them" despite contrary belief. I was already following most of those blogs bc of their opinion on Chris but I was not aware they were mutuals of mine until responses started pouring in.

What other people choose to do is not on me. I am grateful people came to my defense, and even more grateful that they continue to do so. It is not on me that they chose to do that, they are their own people and I certainly did not "call on them". We are not the mafia. And my blog isn't even a Chris gossip blog, believe it or not, I'm on here because I'm a writer. So it's not even like that.

Anyway, here is what has been posted about me where either she or her anons directly tagged me, after I was blocked. I did not know this was going on, obviously, since I was blocked, and she knew that the entire time she was posting these.

That last one doesn't mention me specifically but is most likely about me since I study law. Also thank you, anon, for trying to put down something I work tremendously hard on and that is very sacred to me. I share that with my followers, it's not like it's in my bio, and to bring that into context is just mean.

Now, y'all may have your own opinions on what's going on, I am sharing this merely to clarify what happened from my perspective. I don't think it's okay to allow this kind of talk of other people (unprovoked) on your blog, even if anons are sending it in, which is why I came to Maddy's (or her friends) defense in the first place.

The fact that she would continue to allow these posts about me after blocking me, knowing I wouldn't be able to see it, is just low and unnecessary.

I am done with this shit. We are grown ass people and most of us even agree on the topic of Chris in general. There was no reason it had to turn into this, it is absolutely ridiculous, but I will not allow people to speak on my name without me even getting a chance to defend myself.

There's a reason I'm in law school (as that anon loved to point out) and it's because I don't tolerate injustice when I see it.

This is over.

[c0rpsedemon]

ok not to be insane i mean neurodivergent but back in 2020/2021 when i was like 15 i was so deeply lonely that it was overriding parts of my personality and my sole goal in life was to get strangers on the internet to love and care about me (i didn't succeed once but i unintentionally came close the first few cyberstalking incidents bc ppl felt bad for me but i fucked it by being like 'lol dw i'm fine this is funny to me' and by the time it actually was having a mental toll everyone else who was following along stopped giving a shit) . and you see, way back when it was fairly common for ppl to have personal '[x] don't look' trigger tags they'd ask the mutuals to use if they weren't going to otherwise tag smthing (something which has fallen out of practice bc of the fact that it's an objectively Bad Idea to put lists of things that are upsetting to you in your bio + it's impractical when you could just as easily put 'incest tw' 'gore tw' 'abuse tw' on all that tcoaal fanart you totally definitely rb (or expect this hypothetical person to have all variants of the tcoaal tag blocked already) and help out your non-moots who mights not want to see it either) but anyways . this was a common practoce and i'd see these tags around and be like 'wow . ppl are mentioning this person by name! wouldn't that be wonderful!' bc i was, once again, extremely desperate. like grizabella the glamour cat andrew lloyd webber memory 10 hr loop desperate for any sort of acknowledgement and so much as being namedropped was the high point of my average month bc i was otherwise so alone and miserable. so i was like 'i want to be cared for too' and decided that having ppl use a 'romeo don't look' tag was the most efficient way to do that w/o actually dming ppl (i started 1 conversation in this era, it led to nothing, and i had convinced myself that i was being an unwanted burden and if anyone did want to hear from me they'd contact me first . + i was so far gone at this point that any dm i'd send first would probably have been so unsettling that i'd do more harm than good so in rhetrospect it was probs for the best that i didn't) since making public posts desperately begging for companionship didn't even yield pity likes from those i was trying to impress . the part of this plan that was flawed though is that i now had to think of things that'd realistically be upsetting to me but also wasn't self aware at all so i went w like . bugs and unsanitary things bc those were icky . and a specific transphobic phrase that used to make me rlly sad. which is ridiculous bc like . toughen up . also re:self awareness I LITERALLY HAD AN EATING DISORDER AT THE TIME . IF THERE WAS ANY POSTS I SHOULDN'T BE LOOKING AT THEY WERE ONES ABT FOOD OR WEIGHT IN ANY CONTEXT. BUT THAT WOULD REQUIRE COMMON SENSE AND SELF PRESERVATION SKILLS AND NOT 'IRONICALLY' OPENING THE THINSPO TAG WHICH ARE SKILLS I SO DESPERATELY I LACKED . anyways my scheme, as w all others from this era, didn't work, either bc the things i listed were uncommon or bc no one gave a shit . who's to say.

[retirement-home-rumble]

just caught up on this tournament and I do want to say that you definitely are biased towards that one tie bc you reblogged the post multiple times saying you wanted a tie; so it’s not just tagging it “in this house we love tiesweeps” that makes people think you’re biased. also people saying “it’s not that serious, it’s just a tumblr bracket” goes both ways - like if it’s not that serious and we’re all just having fun then why should anyone care that the votes actually say it should NOT be a tie? like, weren’t you pretty “seriously” invested in this specific poll being a tie, enough to make an exception to the existing rule?

at the same time it literally would have been at most two votes that decided it (sorry to the other anon but their math was wrong). only 968 or 969 out of 1896 would show up as 51.1%. and while I am not in favor of tiesweeping it personally, it is your poll and you should do what you want & what makes you happy. but if you have thousands of people voting in these polls then you have to expect that a decent number of them might be upset if you do make that choice rather than following the rules.

I mean as to your first point, I reblog all propaganda I see, no matter what side it's for. Sure I miss some, but I try my best to get all of them. So along that same vein, if a post gets a lot of propaganda, of course I'm gonna be reblogging it a lot. It just so happened that most of the propaganda that one was getting was for a tie. If there had been tons of people reblogging it with anti tie propaganda, then I would have been reblogging that just as much.

Also, as to me saying I wanted it to tie: I have literally stated that I want as many polls to tie as we can. I also reblog all polls that are close to a tie when it's down to the last few hours, just to give people the chance to tie it if they want.

So combine those two points together, and it just happened to be that after I reblogged that post with the last call for a tie, that it got reblogged a lot by others. So of course I would then reblog their propaganda. And since it's been stated that I'm biased towards all ties, I don't think it's exactly fair to say I was biased specifically towards this one tie. Like if any others were close enough, I would have been just as invested.

Idk. I guess I just don't get people acting like I'm not allowed to be invested in and have fun rooting in my own tournament? When I make it perfectly clear that I love ties, maybe don't act surprised when I get excited about a potential tie?

Even then, I wouldn't have even said anything if it wasn't, as admitted by you, decided by less than 2 votes. I understand that some people could be upset by this, but it was a weird situation and it's impossible to please everyone.

I put out that second poll to try to make it as fair as possible. I've also been trying to share both sides of this (posting asks with people explaining their opinions about it and reblogging the propaganda against the tie) so that everyone can make their own choice. Yes I said I personally would like them to tie, but I didn't force anyone to vote. Everyone has their own agency here. I said I would honor the results of that poll, and people have voted for them to be allowed to tie.

Anyway, sorry for the long rambling answer. This whole situation has just been a bit exhausting and I really don't want to lose interest in this blog because, before this, I was having the most fun I'd had in forever. I felt like I actually had a purpose.

[smileymoth]

@pikslasrce tagged me to post my top albums from this year :))

senses fail - still searching // armor for sleep - what to do when you are dead // senses fail -let it enfold you hollywood undead - hotel kalifornia // boysnightout - make yourself sick // wilbur soot - your city gave me asthma alesana - the emptiness // bedwetters - meet the f@cking bedwetters // bring me the horizon - sempiternal

do not ask me how many times i've listened to these 9 albums idon't even know myself. it's way too much though. i couldn't put all 4 boysnightout albums here so i just stayed at 1 and put it in the very middle because they altered my brain chemistry <33

senses fail gets 2 albums because i didnt spend weeks only listening to those 2 albums for no reason... their lyrics mean sm to me i want to illustrate the albums or songs one day. this goes for both senses fail and boysnightout btw. AND armor for sleep. there's something about that specific album. i realised i really enjoy albums that tell a story. and the fact that i like themes of angst love blood betrayal etc etc is no surprise either. car underwater got played way too many times

i discovered bedwetters thanks to eurovision, they were one of the options for estonia and i ofc found their old and only album (they released a new one a few weeks ago tho) (i dont know why they have 2 spotify accounts. im not asking). i even got to see them live bc they gave a free concert during summer <33333333 i got a picture with the band too !!!!! so cool

the new hollywood undead album got me back into them so im back to being obsessed. i love my silly california guys :3 i've been keeping up with them since and i desperately need to draw them again, this time without their masks!!!! im very glad that i found alesana to be sooo palatable this year because ive tried to listen to them before when i was a teenager and it just... didn't click, even if i tired. so yeah i get to fix that mistake now.

in spring i had a moment where i listened to sempiternal on repeat on the cd player for multiple days straight and in the past month i've, again, been listening to bmth and specifically sempiternal again so it gets a special place, too.

wilbur is just there because i had jubilee line stuck in my head so so so so much and also it's the best study music ever. also wilbur why is i'm sorry boris so silent. i can barely hear it it makes me angry so i always skip it. and then bc its the end of the album it gives me some lmanburg flag cover-art song that i don't like

anyway here's a special mention to these 3 albums because 1) greeley estates - caveat emptor, i just discovered it this week and i am in love. also greeley estates has been in my radar for quite some time now and i find the singers voice to be very pleasant and interesting? the tone does sth for me 2) brand new - deja entendu, for being stuck in my head for a good week because the tommy gun song wouldn't leave my head since it came on shuffle from my saved mp3 list when net was down 3) just surrender - if these streets could talk, because again i was obsessing over this for like a good week before i forgot about it. good album. not available in serbia tho for some reason

can you tell i love talking about music that i like. i know nothing about music it just makes me happy. :)

anyway i am tagging uhhhh @varteeny1234 and @complicatedsurgery and uhhh @cactusringed and uhhhh anyone else who wants + i'm not gona tag you, sly, because you only listen to alex g anyway <3