#anyway i will not be watching beyond book one because the rest of the series goes downhill

[randomgirlyoudontknow]

some thoughts while re-watching lok for the first time in a decade:

as a modernist scholar i’m still just as obsessed with the themes of political instability, revolution, and social inequality against a backdrop of rapid technological development

the writing/dialogue is nowhere near as funny or clever as i thought it was as a teenager

why was the equalist plot never developed beyond season one??? there was so much potential to explore vis à vis non-bender oppression and what it might mean to be an avatar to benders and non-benders alike

the soundtrack slaps

i’m even more mad this time around about how korra is continually beat down knowing just how brutalized her character will be in later seasons

still in love with mako

[kpopfanfictrash]

Until Death (M)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Creative Contributor:@baebae-goodnight​ for this unbelievable moodboard truly, like, WHAT

Genre: Green Bone Saga!AU || Organized Crime / Forbidden Romance / Suspense + Action

Author’s Note: This one shot is set in the Green Bone Saga universe, written by Fonda Lee. You do not need to have read this series in order to read this one shot (I explain concepts/terms), but I do HIGHLY encourage you to read this series at some point because it’s absolutely amazing!! Anyways, Yoongi dropped the Haegeum MV and I was like.... did he read Jade City lol. Further disclaimer this is not a retelling of the books, nor does the Kaul family exist in this version of Kekon (although the No Peak clan does)

Pairing: Yoongi / Reader

Synopsis: Jade has always shaped the island of Kekon. Mined from the mountains, it enhances the abilities of Green Bone warriors who wear it and allows them protection from outside harm. No one understands these threats better than you do, second-in-command of the mighty No Peak clan. 

When a new danger appears, seeming to come from within, everything you once took for granted is called into question. Including the bonds you’ve made, some more dangerous than the others. None more so than Min Yoongi, head of No Peak and the only one capable of destroying your heart.    

Rating: 18+

Warnings: graphic violence, fight scenes and mature content (character dies in the story; not main character) 

NSFW Warnings: dirty talk, nipple play, fingering, spanking, oral (female), multiple orgasms, possessiveness, unprotected sex (couple is monogamous), spit, hand job

Word Count: 17,650

[ Cross-posted to Wattpad here ]

“There’s a rat in our midst,” Jungkook growls, slamming his fist to the table.

No one in the room flinches, although several glance fleetingly in the direction of the Pillar. The typically mild-mannered head of No Peak frowns, clearly disturbed by the recent attacks. Only a madman wouldn’t be.

Still, his voice remains calm while answering your second Fist. “That remains to be seen,” Yoongi says. As though the current situation could be perceived as anything but a threat.

Subtle, you flick a glance towards him, then away. In the corner of your eye, you see Yoongi’s lips curve before smoothing to nothing. Lowering his palms to rest on the table, the ends of his sleeves rise to reveal solid jade.

Leaning back, you survey the table before you. As the Horn of No Peak, it’s your job to defend the clan’s territory – by force, if necessary. Several levels of Green Bone warriors report into you, including your Fingers (the lowest of soldiers) and Fists, your direct reports.

Jungkook became Second Fist only a month prior but already, he’s created a name for himself. An impulsive, somewhat violent name for himself.

In this case though, you happen to agree with him. Not one, but two Lantern Men – commercial patrons of No Peak – have turned up dead in the past week, tortured beyond recognition. Over a week has passed since the first murder and still, there’s no suspect. Neither man was wealthy nor wore jade beyond a single piercing. Each was killed in a different part of town with no family in common. For a week, you’ve been racking your brain for motive and coming up empty.

Peeved by the thought, your fingertips dig into your leather jacket. Perceiving the shift to your aura, Yoongi starts to turn – catching himself just in time and facing forward.

An assortment of Lantern Men, Fists and Luckbringers (the money-making side of the clan) sit around a worn table. All watch the Pillar warily, as though uncertain how this meeting will end.

Tilting his head, strands of dark hair fall across Yoongi’s forehead. Studs of green line his ears, a single bolt of jade threaded through his right brow. Since the Academy, Yoongi has preferred to wear his jade as piercings – except for the clusters on fingers and wrists. He flexes these now, a visual display of power.

Jade from the island of Kekon is powerful; toxic to all but the Green Bones trained to wear it. To them, it grants unique power in each of the six disciplines: Strength, Steel, Perception, Lightness, Deflection and Channeling. Being from Kekon is no guarantee a person can wear and use jade, though. Individual tolerance varies, with most not able to withstand more than a few pieces.

No one in No Peak wears more jade than the Pillar – no one but you, that is.

This thought brings little comfort in a room such as this. Most of the sycophants seated around the table would turn on Yoongi – and No Peak – in a heartbeat. If it’d enrich their coffers, they would switch sides, honor be damned. You trust your Fists and Fingers but find it hard to extend the same grace to Namjoon’s side of the clan.

Kim Namjoon, known as the Weather Man, heads No Peak’s monetary ventures. Ranking as highly as you, he reports directly to Yoongi. Turning to face Namjoon, you make no attempt to hide your suspicion.

Although he doesn’t meet your gaze, his annoyance flares. Namjoon’s jade aura is weaker, fueled by one or two jade rings on his fingers. More would be unnecessary in his line of work. Namjoon’s lips tighten, able to Perceive your attention.

Perception is one of the more interesting skills of a Green Bone. Wearing jade creates an aura and through it, other Green Bones can sense emotion and intention. For example, you sense that Namjoon is annoyed, but you don’t know why. You can hazard a guess, based on the context.

Although you both graduated from the Academy at the same time, you barely knew Namjoon in your youth. The Kim family is legendary, having fought alongside Yoongi’s grandfather to dispel the Shotarian occupation of Kekon. You, on the other hand, moved to the city of Janloon when you were ten and joined the Academy as an outsider.

Not only were your social circles different, so were your interests. Even as children, Namjoon preferred brains over brawn, while you – well, you don’t enjoy violence, but you understood its necessity in protecting those you love. Ever since your father’s death, what you love has been No Peak.

You suppose Yoongi could’ve picked a worse person for Weather Man. Namjoon is shrewd, if occasionally withholding. He has the best interests of the clan at heart, even if you often disagree about what those interests are.

“Min-jen,” Namjoon says, the respectful title flowing from him like water. “I share your frustration with the current situation. My men are, of course, at your disposal.”

Your gaze narrows on his profile. Namjoon loves to offer help but when push comes to shove, it’s your side of the clan on the front lines.

“And what will your men do?” you inquire, drawing heads your way. “The entirety of their green couldn’t be seen in a desert.”

Someone down the table coughs, although they swiftly fall silent when Yoongi clears his throat. Disappointment radiates from him, turning his head.

“One’s worth to the clan isn’t measured in jade,” he says levelly. “You’d do well to remember that, in the future.”

Sitting back, you school your expression to nothing. Shame swirls in your stomach though because Yoongi is right. His sister is a stone-eye; someone unable to use or wear jade. Yejun feels nothing of jade’s effects – either positive or negative – but serves the clan in her own way. Kekon is superstitious about such things though and, when Yejun was born, rumors ran rampant it boded ill for Yoongi’s leadership. Rumors the Pillar has done his best to stamp out.

“Yes, Min-jen,” you acquiesce, inclining your head.

“My Luckbringers are reviewing financial statements of the victims,” Namjoon says, as though you haven’t spoken. “If there’s any monetary connection between them, we’ll find it.”

“My Fists are also investigating,” you add. “We’ll keep the clan updated.”

A scoff from the lower end of the table. Turning your head, you find Mr. Hu, a wealthy Lantern Man, watching you with a scowl. Middle-aged, with a portly belly from hoji, the man has never accepted you as his Horn. As the first woman bestowed the honor, you expected there to be some resistance.

Not that it endears him to you. Sweetly, you smile and lean forward. “Did you have something to add, Mr. Hu?”

Briefly, his gaze drops to the jade around your throat. Forcing a swallow, he forces his gaze to lift. You must give him credit; the man continues, despite the visual reminder you could kill him in seconds.

“Investigating what?” he asks, puffing out his chest. “I saw the second victim being brought in. There was… well. There was little to see. Tortured,” he adds, addressing the muttering around the table. “The man was mercilessly tortured before he was killed.”

Perceiving the shift in Yoongi’s emotions – edging towards fury – you hasten your response.

“Mr. Hu,” you say, lightly resting your hand on a Talon knife. “I thank you, for having the foresight to raise such an important issue.”

Frowning, he glances left and right, but his fellow Lantern Men avoid him. Likely, they understand this won’t end well. Indeed, Jungkook is already eyeing the man with barely concealed malice, thumb stroking slowly over the hilt of his sword.

“The fact that both victims were tortured,” you continue, conversational. “Almost as though the killer were looking for something.”

“Or someone,” Namjoon adds.

“Or someone,” you agree, focusing on Mr. Hu. “My men are searching the murder sites for more information now. While they do that though, are there any other details of an active murder investigation you’d like to know? Perhaps whether the victims pissed themselves before death, or left money behind?”

Paling, Mr. Hu seems to realize how this sounds. “N-no,” he says. “Thank you for sharing what you have, Horn-jen.”

Ignoring him, you glance in the direction of Yoongi. “We’ll find the traitor. I swear it.”

His aura flares, full of emotion unrelated to the conversation at hand. “Of that, I have no doubt,” Yoongi says lowly.

Heat floods your face, sensing his intent and swiftly, you look away before others can notice.

“While the Horn and Weather Man conduct their investigations, I ask for everyone to remain on high alert,” Yoongi says, surveying the table. “No Peak will increase Green Bone presence in the border districts. If you see anything of interest, contact the clan.”

Several Lantern Men relax at the mention of Green Bones. You know business has been hard as of late, with so many customers shaken by the violence. Hopefully, this will convince the people No Peak has the situation in hand. Otherwise, why would the Lantern Men continue to pay for your protection?

Glancing at the bloody photographs laid out on the table, you can hardly blame them for their skittishness. Whoever killed these two victims was skilled. Their torture tactics are pristine, better than most graduates from the Academy. A skill you also possess, although you choose not to use it outside of last resorts. Even then –

Your fingers cease tapping against your leather jacket. Straightening, you realize the skill displayed is exactly that of the Academy. The cuts, the angle of the blade and depth of the wounds – all of it, textbook. A Green Bone did this, you’re certain.

Sharply, you glance up and allow your distress to show. Voicing your suspicion aloud would only end badly. Above all, the Pillar must appear in control. If a Green Bone – even a disgraced one – is murdering citizens of No Peak, it would be a disaster. Better to discuss your suspicions in private before airing them to the entire group.

Perceiving the shift in your emotions, Yoongi stiffens. “We’ll update you with any new information,” he says, dismissal clear in his tone. “Thank you for coming.”

Chair legs scrape floorboards, patrons filing out as they murmur to one another. Asha, your First Fist, hovers by the door until you give a discreet shake of your head. Nodding, she slips out and you see Jungkook follow.

To one side, Yoongi converses tersely with his Pillarman, Hoseok, until Hoseok exhales and swiftly exits the room. Kim Namjoon stays, drinking a glass of water at the opposite end of the table. Once you three are alone, Yoongi holds up his hand. He waits, utterly still until the last jade aura fades.

Only then does he turn. “Well, Y/N?” he drawls. “What did you realize?”

Not wasting time, you pluck a photograph from the pile and toss it before him. “These cuts,” you explain. “They were made by a moon blade. So precise – so even. Exactly the length taught at the Academy. Which means–”

“Shit,” Namjoon mutters. He sets down his glass. “We’re fucked.”

You give him a look. “Precisely.”

Yoongi frowns, his distaste palpable. “This is the work of a Green Bone.”

“I think so.”

Pushing his chair back to stand, Namjoon grabs a photo and turns it sideways. “Why would a Green Bone go after a Lantern Man, though?” he wonders out loud. “He wasn’t even wearing jade when he died – it’s against aisho.”

Yoongi’s lips press tightly together.

Aisho refers to the strict code of honor governing all who wear jade. There are many tenets, but first and foremost is that those who wear jade don’t harm the jadeless. Aisho also limits retaliation following honorable duels, ensuring the clan lines remain intact.

A Green Bone who follows aisho would never attack a citizen.

Which forces you to draw an unsavory conclusion. “Unless they didn’t care,” you say, voicing the worst possibility. “The killer could have been trained as a Green Bone and left.” Stiffening slightly, you glance at Yoongi. “You don’t think…”

“I do,” Yoongi mutters. His jaw clenches, then unclenches. “Maro.”

Namjoon swears softly.

Maro – known to most as Toh Marosun – is a traitor to No Peak. He grew up in the same circle as Namjoon, Yoongi, and other high-ranking Green Bones. Maro attended the Academy in the same class as Yoongi, and everyone expected him to become the Horn. Brilliant, swift, and vicious in battle – not to mention one of Yoongi’s closest friends.

Despite this fact, you never liked him. Having grown up the only daughter of an unremarkable Lantern Man, you experienced Maro the way most people did. Toh Marosun was cruel. Saccharine, willing to say whatever people in power wanted to hear. Maro knew exactly what to do, what to say to manipulate followers. From the beginning, you saw Maro for who he was – a bully.

He joined No Peak’s ranks as a Finger, but swiftly rose to prominence. By the time you graduated, Maro was the youngest Fist in No Peak’s history. What he lacked in jade tolerance he made up for in cunning. Maro was always more sensitive to jade, but he was also smart. Talented, with the skills he did have.

In Green Bone society, there are two ways to gain jade – gifted or earned. Green Bones win jade through physical duels, taking the green from those they defeat. Recklessly, Maro began to challenge rival clans and often, he won despite not being able to wear his spoils. He displayed his jade often, which you suppose should’ve been the first warning sign.

Maro cared too much for personal glory. In Kekon, glory is achieved through the clan. Even the Horn and the Weather Man only exist to further No Peak’s prowess. The Pillar themselves is the embodiment of the clan, not their own person.

Even now, you recall the day Maro’s crimes were exposed.

Seven years prior, you were a Finger on routine patrol when Sain, your Fist, was commanded to return to the Min property. He brought you along, stationed by the front gate to ensure no one left.

You guarded with another Finger, one whose name you don’t recall. What you do remember is the utter stillness of the day, the unnatural calm which comes before a storm. The sun was bright overhead, a thick bead of sweat sliding down your neck when the door behind you at the main house banged open.

A man tumbled down the steps, landing in a heap in the billowing dirt. Coughing, he struggled to right himself, but both his hands were bound. From your spot at the gate, you couldn’t see clearly but you scented his blood. Heard the bruised rasp of his breath.

Yoongi prowled down the front steps, his famed Da Tanori steel glinting in his right hand. His gaze never wavered from the man bound before him – Toh Marosun, his former friend.

“Do you deny it?” Yoongi asked, his voice soft but deadly. Despite this, you Perceived conflicting emotions within.

Toh Maro stayed silent. Eventually, he exhaled.

“No,” he said sullenly.

Unable to stop it, you turned and saw Maro staring unflinchingly up at the Pillar. Yoongi stood over him, his lips a thin line of displeasure. You didn’t know what had happened but feared the worst from Yoongi’s expression.

In that moment, you didn’t envy the Pillar. Yoongi had become head of No Peak only a year prior; in many ways, he was as untried as you were. He was a silent, intelligent man and many people thought they could take advantage of him.

They were wrong, of course, but it would take time to prove that.

On that day though, you felt the dull grief to his aura. “Then I am sorry,” Yoongi said quietly. “For you leave me with no choice. Toh Marosun, you stand accused of smuggling jade from No Peak – one of the worst crimes a Green Bone can commit.”

The entirety of your blood drained as you turned around.

Spine steeling, you gripped your knives tighter. There were few crimes so awful they couldn’t be forgiven, but stealing from the clan was one of them. Cutting off Maro’s ear would be too light a punishment, especially with Yoongi so untried a Pillar. Death would be acceptable. Expected, even.

It would be the Pillar’s call – the clans weren’t run as a democracy. Straining Perception, you listened closely behind you. Although you’d interacted little with the Pillar, the man behind the mask couldn’t help but intrigue you.

Broken sobs filled the clearing, and you heard the sudden thud of knees hitting the grass. No jade aura accompanied the sound.

“Yoongi, please,” gasped a voice – feminine, young. “Brother, please spare him. Don’t kill him, he –”

“Silence.” Yoongi’s voice echoed over the courtyard. The newcomer obeyed with a lone, stifled sob. “You’ve been found innocent, sister,” he said, sounding weary. “But that does not make you innocent.”

The threat of his words hung overhead and although Yejun continued to sniffle, the sound of it muffled. When you glanced sideways again, you saw her face in her palms.

Yoongi watched dispassionately, although you sensed his inner turmoil. Rumors had reached your ears by then that Maro was dating Yejun. It seemed to be true, based on the way she pleaded.

Returning to face the gate, the yard remained silent until Yoongi exhaled. “Toh Marosun,” he declared, his sword sheathing. “From this day on, you are banished from Kekon. Return your jade to the clan and go. If you return to Janloon, your life is forfeit. Take him,” he said, speaking to someone you couldn’t see.

You didn��t dare turn, but tugged your knives a half-inch from their sheathes. If Maro decided to fight, you’d be expected to protect the Pillar. For whatever reason – disbelief, or respect – Maro didn’t attack, and no violence took place. He left in the waiting car, but you’ll never forget the look on his face when he passed.

Despite your young age, you recognized the glint in his eye. Fury, tempered by disbelief. He’ll be back, you thought grimly. It was only a matter of time before someone like Maro declared vengeance.

Your gaze slid to Yoongi, wondering if he felt the same. He watched Maro leave, his expression carefully neutral before he turned around and entered the house. Yejun had already disappeared, likely leaving upon Maro’s banishment.

The expression on Yoongi’s face now is similar, staring down at the photograph. Another moment passes before you realize something else.

“They knew each other,” you say, glancing between the victims. Reaching out, your hand lightly touches a photo. “Icho Retubin. He worked for the Weather Man after the Academy. And this man here” – you touch the other – “Niru Roluan. A low-ranking Finger who quit after a year.”

“He was friendly with Marosun,” Namjoon recalls.

“Yes.” Eyes wide, you look up. “After Maro’s scheme was uncovered, both of them quit and began working as Lantern Men.”

“Interesting,” Yoongi muses. “So. Toh Marosun returns. He tortures and kills his former friends – why?” he murmurs, speaking more to himself than either of you.

Brow lowering, you search for the easy answer. “He’s torturing them for something,” you say, glancing at the wounds. “Information, maybe.”

Yoongi tilts his head. “Which begs the question – has Maro found what he wants, or is he still looking?”

“Does it matter?”

Namjoon shrugs at your question. “If Maro hasn’t found what he wants, he’ll strike again. If he did find it – well. We might be out of time.”

Yoongi considers. “He didn’t find it,” he says, turning around to stride for the door. “Call it a gut feeling.”

Your gaze narrows on his backside. “Let’s call it more than that.”

Yoongi turns around, lips twitching in a smile only you see. “I can think of two reasons Maro might return. One – jade.” The Pillar lifts a finger. “Or, two – revenge.” His second lifts.

You and Namjoon exchange a look. “Maro could find jade on the Shotarian black market if he wanted,” you say.

“Exactly.” Yoongi drops his hand. “Which is why I’m inclined to call this revenge.”

“Maro could want revenge on anyone, though,” Namjoon points out. “Most likely whoever sold him out in the first place.”

“Well, that makes this easier.” Casual, Yoongi tucks both hands in his pockets. “I sold him out. I discovered details of his jade smuggling in Yejun’s apartment.”

“Yejun?” Sharply, you look at him. “Your sister knew?”

Yoongi’s gaze hardens. “Yes, she knew,” he says. “I’m sure you understand why I kept that piece of information to myself until now. Yejun wasn’t involved with the smuggling, but she knew it was happening… and didn’t tell me,” he adds, his voice grim.

Mind reeling, you attempt to digest this piece of information. Betrayal lodges deep in your gut, although you do your best to dispel it. It’s pointless to expect Yoongi to tell you everything – especially events which occurred before you became the Horn.

Namjoon also looks troubled. “That’s… but that means–”

“Careful what you say, Namjoon.” Although his tone remains soft, Yoongi’s body tenses. “The matter is done. I punished Yejun as I saw fit, within my right as Pillar. Trust me,” he adds, his façade cracking a little. “Her deception was dealt with.”

Silently, you wonder if this is why Yejun studied in Espenia. As a stone-eye, she can’t serve the clan as a Green Bone, but could have taken other paths. She could have become a Luckbringer on Namjoon’s side or begun a career in government. Instead, Yejun left Janloon for a foreign University. It was only recently she returned to start her residency at Jan Royal University.

Curious, your gaze flicks to Yoongi. If what he says is true, then surely, he knows Maro is coming for him. Yejun might not have betrayed him, but Min Yoongi did. It’s only a matter of time before Maro discovers what happened.

Blood simmering, you do your best to hide your frustration. Your role as Horn would be much easier if the Pillar would be honest about all his enemies. Suppressing your scowl, you ignore the heat of Yoongi’s gaze on the side of your face.

“Namjoon,” he says, turning away. “I want a list of potential targets. People Maro has worked with in the past or knew at the Academy. Assuming he doesn’t have the information he wants, Maro will strike again.”

“On it,” Namjoon says, already heading for the door.

Although faint, you can feel the cool brush of his aura passing. You envy the Weather Man’s ability to ingest information and remove partiality. Even after something like Yejun’s betrayal, he remains unflappable. Namjoon simply absorbs and executes, doing what needs to be done.

Left alone with your thinking, you can’t claim the same. Namjoon’s jade aura fades when he exits, footsteps receding to leave you alone with the Pillar.

You refuse to look at him, casting your Perception outward. A Green Bone with as much jade as you have can Perceive a beetle crawling through the tall grass outside. Feel the rumble of cars on the distant streets. Hear Yoongi’s heart beat from across the room.

Wearing jade results in a dizzying expansion of knowledge. You’re used to it by now – years of training and genetics lessen the risk of being overwhelmed. Without either, it’s all too easy to lose control.

It’s one of the reasons jade-smuggling is a serious crime. The other being that jade is the main source of income funding the clans. Selling jade through non-regulated channels increases the risk of it falling into the wrong hands. Hands which could bring negative consequences to other people or themselves.

Aisho outlines a strict Green Bone code of honor. It states Kekon first, clan first, family first. Occasionally, all three are tied and occasionally, one outstrips the other. Maro disobeyed every rule by selling jade to the Shotarians.

Maro knew all this and chose to continue, blinded by greed. He placed his personal glory above that of the clan, something which must be dealt with. To a lesser degree, Yejun chose Maro over No Peak, as well – which is why you’re surprised Yoongi said nothing.

“Y/N.”

Yoongi speaks your name softly, forgoing your title.

Stiffening, you force yourself not to turn. “Don’t call me that.”

“What?” he asks, his voice moving closer. “Your name?”

Hand brushing your elbow, Yoongi turns you to face him. Against all better judgement, you obey – and find your first mistake. Meeting his gaze, a ripple of familiarity – of home, a voice whispers – goes through you.

Shutting all this down, you lift your chin. “You lied to me.”

Yoongi’s expression flattens. “I couldn’t explain.”

“You could have. You chose not to.”

“I couldn’t,” he insists. “I’m still not sure I didn’t make a mistake. I showed mercy, Y/N.” Yoongi pauses, then swallows. “I exiled my friend and sent my sister away – and now, look what’s happened. Two men have been killed, and it’s my fault. How could I have told you,” he adds, the words desperate, “when I knew it’d result in that look on your face?”

“I’m looking at you like this because you lied. Not because of a decision you made in the past. Mercy isn’t a weakness, Min Yoongi.”

“Some would say that it is,” he murmurs. Fleeting, his gaze drops to your lips. 

Yoongi drops all restraint so his emotion, so often concealed, smears through his aura. Longing, anger and fear, mixed with worry. 

White-hot electricity jumps over your skin. Seeing the normally reserved Pillar undone in your presence is a heady knowledge. Knowledge that terrifies you, even as everything in you aches to move closer.

“It’s not,” you exhale, meeting his gaze.

Something falters in his expression and Yoongi stares at you, heated. You Perceive his intent – a rough flare to his aura – a moment before Yoongi bends and crushes your mouth to his. His kiss is thorough, intent, his body curving with yours while walking you towards the wall.

You instantly cave, unable to withstand the desperate sweep of his tongue. “Yoongi,” you groan, fingers gripping him tighter. “People will hear.”

“Let them,” he says, his voice undeterred.

Before you can respond, his lips fall upon yours with increasing urgency. Hand slipping beneath your jacket, Yoongi cups your waist to pull you taut against him. Eyes falling shut, you swiftly scan the building for lingering Green Bones. Finding no one, you return your attention to Yoongi and bite down on his lip.

He growls, grip tightening when you tug him towards you. Breaking away, Yoongi lowers his head to suck the curve of your throat. He lingers at your jade, tongue darting out to lick the skin underneath. Your entire body shudders, aroused by the sensation.

Touching another person’s jade is intimate. Most wouldn’t allow their own family the honor, let alone someone they sleep with. Skin contact with jade imbues power, and the swift rise and fall of it can be dangerous. Only Yoongi is brave – or foolish – enough to risk the effects.

Spine on the wall, you inhale at the rush. Yoongi’s length presses against your core, already hard through the confines of his pants. It seems unfathomable that this man, a stranger to you for so long, can inspire such potent emotion.

When you first met him, you were ten, and he was fourteen. You didn’t know who Yoongi was at the time – a fact which now seems unthinkable. Raised in southern Kekon, you came to Janloon after your mother’s death with little understanding of clan politics. Likely, you would have remained so if your high jade tolerance hadn’t pushed your father to enroll you at the Academy.

Walking through the gates that first day, you found nothing but apathy. The best-case scenario was your classmates left you alone. Worst-case, the other children were brutal. You attended school with the sons and daughters of high-ranking clan members. Although your father joined No Peak as a Lantern Man eventually, he could hardly be called successful. The Academy had no patience for a rural girl whose jade tolerance far outstripped their own.

It wore on your classmates’ pride when the teachers praised you. You began to get noticed, and not in a good way. Fed up with your presence, one of the students attacked you at the end of your first year. Even then, you knew how to defend yourself and flipped him on his back. Stunned, he stared up at you before yelling to anyone within earshot that you’d regret this. His father was a powerful Lantern Man of No Peak and he said you’d be banished before graduation.

Fear gripped you, sensing the truth to his words. Based on your own experience, you knew No Peak wouldn’t believe you over one of their own.

Despair filled your thoughts as someone entered the corridor. Your attacker instantly froze, which should have clued you in this was someone important. Still, you refused to look, reticent to turn your back on an opponent.

The newcomer cleared their throat, further stoking your ire. After a moment, you dragged your attention to them.

Min Yoongi stared back, his expression mild. “So,” he said. “Who can tell me what happened?”

Looking him up and down, you chose not to respond. You didn’t trust a stranger – a fourth year at that – to intervene on your behalf. Most likely, Yoongi was a member of No Peak and had only arrived to harass you further.

Seeing your hesitance, your attacker jumped in. He accused you of treachery, saying you jumped him in the corridor and threw him on the ground. Silent, your fingers curled into fists, but you remained quiet, even when Yoongi turned.

“Well?” he asked you. “Is that right?”

Your lips dropped into a scowl. “He deserved what he got.”

Subtle, his brow flicked upward.

To your dismay, you saw people had gathered as whispers broke out. A sinking suspicion occurred to you that something was wrong. Not with your attacker, but whoever this was.

Yoongi stared at you for a long moment before, to your surprise, he chuckled. “I agree.” Turning to face the boy, a dangerous light entered his eye. “I’d suggest not telling your father what happened, Heike. Because then, I might feel honor-bound to confess what I saw. Which was his son ruthlessly attack a first year, lose and then lie about it to his future Pillar.”

Color bled swiftly from Heike’s skin. “Yes, Min-jen,” he whispered, head bowed in shame.

Panic-stricken, you stared as realization sunk in you’d been flippant to the future Pillar. Steeling yourself, you waited for Min Yoongi’s response – likely anger or worse. Based on your experience, most men in power liked this fact to be known.

Instead, Yoongi merely turned and looked you up and down. His gaze traveled you slowly, unreadable in his scrutiny. At last, he glanced up.

“Your father owns the tea shop by the docks, yes?” he said, waiting for you to nod before he continued. “He joined No Peak as a Lantern Man last year.”

“Yes, he did.”

His lips twitched. “Well, then,” Yoongi said as he turned away. “I can’t help but be grateful he chose No Peak to patron. It would’ve been shame to lose you to another clan.”

Stricken, you watched as he strode from the courtyard. Minutes passed, and eventually you realized the crowd had dispersed. Heike skulked off to nurse his wounds and the future Pillar had gone, giving them no reason to stay.

If you weren’t loyal to No Peak before, you certainly were after. Yoongi had that type of effect on people.

After that day though, you rarely interacted. Yoongi was four years your senior and the future Pillar, while you were nobody. Albeit a talented nobody who graduated at the top of their class from the Academy. At your graduation, people whispered you’d make a strong Fist. No one ever imagined you’d rise higher than that.

You joined No Peak as a Finger, starting from the bottom. Yoongi continued to remain out of reach, the newly named Pillar struggling to earn his own title. It didn’t take long though, before you rose in the ranks. You spent two years as a Finger, then two as a Fist – you were twenty-two years old when promoted to Horn. The youngest in history, and a woman to boot.

Yoongi was adamant in the choice, defending you calmly to the entire clan. He said he’d rather have the right person at a young age than the wrong person at the right age. His support was the only reason you didn’t strangle him that first year. It was the beginning of working together and as it turned out, Yoongi drove you mad.

He micromanaged, overseeing all decisions to ensure No Peak ran smoothly. You two bickered often, the fire eventually dissipating to begrudging acceptance. Ultimately, you realized you saw the world the same – No Peak first, followed by everything else.

Back then, Yoongi dated but none of them stuck. No one understood the sacrifice necessary to remain head of No Peak. Couldn’t comprehend the ruthlessness, the dedication it took to lead the clan. Yoongi could never let his guard down, could never relax with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

You understood, though, because you shared this burden. Yoongi could be honest with you in a way he couldn’t be elsewhere. To the rest of the clan, he was the infallible Pillar, but to you, he was only a man.

Proof of said manhood hardens against your thigh, and Yoongi’s lips curve gamely at the base of your throat. Head lifting, his smile is sharp enough to carve the remaining bit of your heart.

“You left early this morning,” he observes, his gaze dimming. “Why?”

Your eyes trace his lips before lifting to his face. “Hian called in sick, so I replaced his watch. My Fists are spread thin, Yoongi.”

A wrinkle forms between his brows. “You should’ve woken me.”

“Why?” you tease, your hand sliding lower to rest above his hip. “To watch me go? You needed your sleep.”

“I needed you more.”

Yoongi’s words still your fingertips, struck by his honesty. Min Yoongi is nothing if not blunt, leaving you often speechless. What began as just sex, mounting frustration between friends, has become something almost too tenuous to name. The idea of having him scares you nearly as much as the prospect of losing him.

“You had me last night,” you murmur.

Yoongi’s fingers drift across your cheek. “And yet,” he says, unwilling to let you off the hook. “I woke up ravenous.”

Multiple meanings layer his words, some of which you purposefully choose not to hear. Instead, you glance past him to search the grounds. Several Green Bones cross the lawn, none of them close enough to overhear. Still, it reminds you of what’s at stake.

Exhaling gently, you pull from his touch. “I should go,” you tell him.

Head tilted, Yoongi’s dark hair conceals the jade in his brow. His brow wrinkles when he Perceives your tumultuous emotions.

“You’re worried,” he says.

“Of course, I am,” you say with a frustrated laugh. “I’m your Horn, Yoongi. It’s my job to protect the clan – to protect you – and right now, it feels like I’m failing.”

His gaze on you sharpens. “First off, I can protect myself. Second – it’s my job as Pillar to protect the clan. How can you protect us from something I can’t see?”

“How many times do I have to say you don’t shoulder that burden alone?”

The lines around his mouth deepen. “In good times, I’m lauded. It only follows that in bad times, I’m the one at fault.”

“Oh, if that’s all,” you say drily. “I, for one, have never lauded you.”

“Oh, really?” Stepping closer, his expression shifts from frustration to carnal. “I seem to recall differently last night.”

Electricity catches each place his gaze lingers, shivering its way down your spine. Refusing to let him notice, you lift your chin higher. “You’d have to remind me. It all blurs together.”

Yoongi bares his teeth, and you can’t help but smile. If there’s one thing the Pillar of No Peak can’t resist, it’s a challenge. The start of your relationship is proof enough of that.

After your promotion to Horn, you spent most waking hours by Yoongi’s side. Working with him was exhausting. Every decision turned into an argument. How many Fists you should have. How many students to admit to the Academy. Whether you should train with the Kekonese military or not.

Yoongi constantly occupied space in your thoughts, and not in a good way. He frustrated you, forcing you to second-guess and slow down your thought process. Maddeningly, he was often correct, which only served to further your irritation.

Eventually, things began to shift. Bickering turned to acceptance and finally, understanding. Yoongi trusted you more often to make the right calls and in turn, you snapped at him less for his input. Your arguments dwindled, then disappeared altogether.

Three years passed as Horn, and soon your frustration gave way to a different kind. You started to notice when Min Yoongi entered the room. At first, you brushed it off as nothing. Yoongi had an undeniable presence, this was true. Soon though, you realized your thoughts breached the border of friendship.

His absence could be felt like a phantom limb. Yoongi’s jade aura comforted you despite its fierceness – so at odds with the calm way he carried himself.

Idly, you wondered what it would take for him to snap. To release his infamous self-control and fully give in. Thoughts of what Yoongi would feel like left your body scorched. On more than one occasion, you awoke with an ache between your legs and a dream of his face slipping away.

Such thoughts though, were dangerous. Yoongi was the Pillar, and you were his Horn – a relationship couldn’t happen and what’s more, he’d shown no interest. You began to withdraw out of self-preservation. Prior, you sparred with Yoongi every morning but soon found yourself making excuses to skip.

What was once daily practice turned into every week and then, once a month. Yoongi was a distraction you could ill-afford, disarming you with his laughter as easily as his sword.

Instead, you forced your attention on training your Fists. Firstday through Fifthday, you met Asha and Jungkook at the gym before dawn. This went on for months, training in secret until one day you exited and saw Yoongi’s car at the curb. Stomach sinking, you watched as he reversed and sped down the street.

Perceiving tumultuous emotion, you knew confrontation was inevitable but hoped Yoongi would give you time to process.

He did not.

Instead, Yoongi pounded on your door the very next morning. When you finally answered, he tossed a practice sword your way and demanded you dress.

Shaking free of your stupor, you glared at Yoongi a moment before slamming the door. Stalking inside, you threw gear in a bag and returned to the hall. Stomping past him, you refused to acknowledge Yoongi, throwing open the door to his Duchesse Priza.

Yoongi sped to his place in silence, tension churning between you like water beneath a ferry. At his gym, you stormed out and ripped the sword from its sheath. Yoongi followed closely behind, barely leashed emotion rolling off him in waves.

You flew at him first, your body Light, and then Strong while swinging towards his head. Moving through the various jade disciplines, you relied on training hammered into your bones. Yoongi caught a blow on his forearm, Steeling his skin to avoid any damage. The two of you entered a familiar rhythm, understanding the other in ways no one else could.

It must’ve been hours before you threw down your sword and declared the match ended. Yoongi simply stared, his chest heaving with a wild spark in his eyes.

You were turning to leave when he dropped his blade, strode across the clearing and crushed your mouth to his.

Five months have passed since. Your relationship has been kept a secret, with you unwilling to place any labels. People would talk if the Horn and Pillar were dating. You don’t want that for yourself. Not when you’ve worked so hard for credibility.

Pressing his thumb to your lower lip, Yoongi drags it lower before he releases. “I’ll have to remind you, then,” he says before stepping away. The heat dissipates from his gaze, leaving you cold. “But you’re right. I should go.”

Somewhat dazed, you feel yourself nod. This is what you wanted, you remind yourself. This is exactly what you asked for, so you have no right to feel abandoned.

“Send me the list Namjoon makes,” you say, forcing lightness to your tone. “I’ll send Green Bones to watch their houses.”

Yoongi opens his mouth, then seems to think better of it and merely nods. He stays silent when you leave, brushing past him to the hall. Outside, you pause on the landing before you continue.

His jade aura fades as you exit, letting you know he remains. You do your best to ignore him, flipping your keys as you stride towards your car – not as nice as Yoongi’s, but serviceable nonetheless. Yanking open the door, you slide onto the sticky-warm gray leather seat.

Exhaling, you stare at the wheel before shifting to drive. Lowering the windows, you allow a slight breeze to drift over your face. As much as you pretend to be happy with the current situation, you’re not. You aren’t stupid – you know your feelings for Yoongi extend beyond those of a Horn to their Pillar.

When you first became Horn, you respected Yoongi. He was a good leader – still is – and you were proud to be the person strengthening No Peak by his side. Now, he’s the closest thing you have to family. Deep down, you understand his pardon of Yejun. If you were in a similar situation, there’s nothing Yoongi could do that you wouldn’t forgive.

Especially now, with your father dead. It happened soon after graduation, a sudden collapse of his heart no one saw coming. Yoongi attended his funeral. It was held on a rain soaked Seventhday after the Autumn Festival. Late in the season for a deluge but fitting for the occasion. It felt like the world was wiped clean, along with your prior life.

For the Pillar to attend was unusual, but not unprecedented. You recall him standing near the back, his Pillarman, Hoseok, at his side. The funeral was short – your father wasn’t garrulous by any means – but rain soaked your dress by the time it had ended. It surprised you when Yoongi came to express his sorrow, even more so when he seemed to mean it. Most people didn’t. Most people came for the spectacle, or to say they were there.

Yoongi though, gripped your hand tightly while meeting your gaze. His calluses were as rough as your own when he said the clan would support you. Oddly enough, you believed him.

With both parents dead, and no siblings, No Peak is the only family you have. Yoongi’s life is similar to yours, apart from Yejun. His father died of cancer when he was twenty-one and his mother soon followed, unable to cope. Yoongi knows what loss means, what it feels like to be alone.

Lips tightening, you imagine what it’d feel like to lose him. Worse than a Horn should feel when they lose a Pillar. Silent, you curse yourself for having poor foresight. There’s a reason the Horn and Pillar don’t date. A reason why such a relationship would be forbidden. It’s your job to protect the clan – not just Yoongi – but if it came down to it, you’d choose him every time.

Weaving through the bustling streets of Janloon, your speed is forced to slow. Janloon, the capital city of Kekon, is full of contractions. The latest car models pass beneath flashing billboards, coupled with street stalls and sprawling temples. Scents of the city mingle with stale AC from your car.

No matter how much time passes, Kekon stubbornly clings to its roots. Portions of the outside world may infiltrate, but they’ll never replace. This is something Green Bones and the clans understand.

Traffic forces you to park a block away from your destination. Striding towards the Twice Lucky, you nod at a few Lantern Men idling outside. Asha and Jungkook wait for you in a private room, lounging in seats around the square table. The second floor of the Twice Lucky has been reserved for Green Bones; a privilege No Peak ensures is well-compensated.

Jungkook sits in his usual spot, arms crossed and feet up. Asha is restless, fingertips drumming against the hilt of her blade. Food and water are laid out, half-eaten as though there were others here before.

Sensing your presence, your first Fist looks up. “Y/N-jen.” Asha straightens. “Any news?”

Crossing the room, you scan the building but Perceive no other Green Bones. Sinking into a chair, you pull a plate closer and pick up red chopsticks.

Jungkook turns towards you. “What’d you discuss with the Pillar? Seemed important.”

Asha gives him a warning look, to which he only shrugs.

Ignoring them both, you stab a dumpling. “We suspect the killings were done by a Green Bone. Do you remember Toh Marosun?”

Asha’s head whips in your direction. Jungkook was at the Academy during Maro’s betrayal, but Asha was there and remembers how it went down. If Maro has returned, it’s only a matter of time before things get worse.

“Of course, we remember.” Her eyes narrow. “So, it’s really him? Maro came back?”

“Maybe.” You hesitate another moment, then finish the dumpling. “It’s only a guess.”

“A pretty good guess, if you’re telling us,” Jungkook muses. “Why come back now, though? Returning to Kekon is a death sentence.”

“Is it?” Asha fights a smirk. “Everyone knew Yejun had a thing for Maro.”

Casual, you retrieve a talon knife from its sheath. You begin cleaning the blade, the weapon a natural extension of your wrist, and feel Asha and Jungkook’s gazes follow.

“I don’t think that’s relevant, do you?” you say calmly. “Not unless you’re questioning the Pillar’s judgement.”

Asha looks away, miffed. “No, jen,” she mutters. “Of course, not.”

“Good.” You pause, allowing your fury to seep into your aura. “The Pillar deserves nothing less than your respect. Which means Jungkook is right – coming back here is a death sentence, begging the question of why.”

Jungkook considers. “Maybe he left something.”

Asha turns back, the moment of tension forgotten. “He could be after his jade,” she offers. “Maro was always thin-blooded, so if it’s jade he wants, this could get bad. He could come down with the Itches.”

Sheathing your knife, you look up. “I agree. Maro might not be in his right mind.”

“What should we do?” 

“Nothing for now,” you tell her. “Namjoon is compiling a list of people Maro knew. If he hasn’t found what he’s after by now, he could strike again.”

Asha nods and accepts this. Pushing aside a twinge of regret, you wish you could explain the rest. If Yoongi is a target though, it’s best to keep that fact quiet. And as much as you’d like to blame the Luckbringers, you have no way of knowing who’s helping Maro – either by will or by force.

A phone rings on the lower level, barely audible over the din. The Twice Lucky restaurant doesn’t have the best food in Janloon, but the quality is good, and its owner is loyal. The same can’t be said for other places.

Footsteps pound on the staircase, and Jungkook springs to his feet. Before you can warn him, the door opens and Mr. Une, the proprietor, freezes in place.

“Put that away,” you demand, waving for Jungkook to lower his knife.

Eyes wide, Mr. Une stares while your Second Fist sheaths his weapon. Seating himself at the table, Jungkook kicks both feet up like nothing has happened. The third-highest amount of jade in the clan lies coiled about his neck, polished stones resting against his tan skin.

Mr. Une continues to stare, wary until you pointedly clear your throat. “Uncle,” you say, adopting the deferential. “What can we do for you?”

Somewhat placated, Mr. Une turns his head. “Phone call for you, Horn-jen. The Weather Man said it’s urgent. You can use the phone in my office if you’d like.”

Smile disappearing, you stand. “Lead the way.”

Mr. Une blinks, and you realize you’ve crossed the room in less time than it took Jungkook to draw his knife. Inwardly, you sigh and attempt to appear harmless. The citizens of Janloon are used to living with Green Bones but sometimes, your power is a reminder of what they are not. Of the inherent danger of living amongst latent gods.

Following Mr. Une, you head towards his office. Asha and Jungkook walk close behind, with Jungkook at the rear and Asha by your side. Mr. Une hovers awkwardly at the door before turning around and pushing into the kitchen.

Once he’s gone, you lift the phone. “Hello?” you say.

Namjoon’s voice barks in your ear. “Get back to the Min property. Now.”

Your stomach drops. “What happened?”

“Maro struck again,” he says tightly. “It’s definitely Maro – and the victim is still alive.”

“Who is it?” you ask, expecting the worst.

“Jio Reubin. He managed to escape and made it here, but he’s injured. This is our best chance to get information.”

“On my way,” you say, and hang up.

Taking a deep breath, you allow the reality of Namjoon’s words to wash over you. Jio is hurt, meaning you need to interrogate soon in case he dies. Nausea curdles your stomach, and you try to dispel it.

Guilt wars with relief from knowing Yoongi is safe. You’ve met Jio several times, having attended the Academy with his now-wife, Lula. She never took to the bloodier side of the clan, deciding to enter the medical profession instead. If you remember correctly, she’s in the same resident program as Yejun.

Leaving the office, you nod for Jungkook to follow. He falls into step beside you. “I need you to do something for me,” you say to Asha. “Head to Jio Reubin’s and search the area for Maro. Call me if you find anything.”

She nods and turns, disappearing out the side door.

You and Jungkook exit the front, squinting when you emerge in the golden hour. “Follow me to the Min property,” you say grimly.

Jungkook nods as he turns, aura pulsing with adrenaline while growing fainter. You should warn him to be cautious but know it’d be hypocritical. Your own car’s speed is nearly twice the limit as you rush through the streets of Janloon, returning to the gates of the Min property.

Screeching to a halt, you yank keys from the ignition and sprint across the courtyard. Namjoon’s aura pulses from the main house, so you follow the trail and shove open the door.

Namjoon doesn’t look up when you enter, and you immediately see why. Jio lies splayed on the sofa, right arm dangling listlessly from a red cushion. At first, you think that’s the color before you notice the blood darkening Jio’s chest.

Kneeling at his side, Namjoon’s jaw clenches while attempting to Channel. Usually, Channeling is used to rend the body apart but in certain circumstances, it can be used to hold it together. Namjoon doesn’t wear much jade though and wasn’t trained as a healer.

“Allow me,” Jungkook says from behind you.

Dropping to his knees, he replaces Namjoon to clasp Jio’s hand in his. Closing his eyes, a thick vein pulses in the side of his neck. Despite Jungkook’s wish to enter the bloodier side of the clan, he would’ve made an excellent healer. His ability to Channel is better than anyone else in No Peak.

Jio’s aura, previously guttering, gradually smooths. Namjoon sits back on his heels, clearly spent from the effort. Wiping sweat from his brow, he turns to see you.

“Close the door,” he says faintly.

Reaching out, you obey and cross to stand by his side. Staring at Jio, you take in his bloodied state. Whoever tortured him was thorough, cutting just deep enough to let him slowly bleed out.

It’s a miracle Jio escaped, no matter how slowly his chest rises and falls. When you cross your arms, he coughs and cracks open one eye. Dazedly, Jio registers your presence.

“Horn-jen,” he rasps.

Briskly, you nod. “You’re going to be fine, Jio.”

Straining Perception, you sweep the ground for Yoongi but find him far away. Good. The further he is from this carnage, the better.

Glancing back, you seek Namjoon. “What happened?”

“Maro was waiting when Jio got home from his night shift. His wife had already left for the hospital. Maro knocked out Jio, tied him up and when he came to, started torturing him for intel. Jio managed to escape but hasn’t said how. Couple of Fingers found him in the Temple District.”

Your gaze moves to Jio. “Maro escaped?”

“Yeah,” he responds.

Stomach tight, you consider the options. Either Maro is still searching for whatever he’s after, or he found out from Jio and –

From across the property comes a surge of fury. No one else seems to notice, but that doesn’t surprise you. You’re more attuned to Yoongi’s aura than anyone present. Keeping your expression neutral, you know you don’t have much time until Yoongi arrives.

“What did he want to know?” you demand. “Did he –”

The door to the room flies open and hits the wall. The Pillar strides in, adjusting his cuffs as he goes. Yoongi’s dark hair is slicked, clothing immaculate as always. Heat curls in your lower belly, and you do your best to stamp it out.

His gaze flicks towards you, sensing your need before his expression shutters. Facing forward, Yoongi surveys the scene.

“What happened?” he asks, low and deadly.

His Pillarman steps inside and shuts the door. Hoseok leans to the wall, jacket falling open to reveal the handle of his Sig Sauer. It’s odd for a Green Bone to carry a gun but Hoseok’s job is to protect Yoongi from all threats. Although Green Bone warriors render bullets obsolete through Steeling, there are other threats best deterred by firepower.

On the couch, Jio coughs and attempts to sit up. Grunting, Jungkook grabs his shoulder and forces him down.

“Don’t be an idiot,” you say to Jio. “The doctor is coming, but if you die before they get here, you’ll be no help to anyone.”

“Are you sure it was Maro?” Yoongi asks, tension radiating from every line in his body. Even if you couldn’t Perceive him, you’d know.

Weakly, Jio nods. “It was Maro. Looks different now – leaner and wearing new jade. Scabs up and down his arms. But yeah, it was him.”

You and Namjoon exchange a look. Arm scabs could be a sign of the Itches, an illness caused by jade overexposure. Jade overexposure can happen gradually, or it could be caused by a single instance. For example, if someone were to go without jade for years and then put a lot on.

Green Bones are taught the symptoms from a young age. Severe mood swings, sensory distortion – shaking, sweating, anxiety, paranoia, and heart palpitations. When left untreated, the Itches can lead to madness and eventually, death. Better soldiers than Maro have succumbed to it, the lure of more jade greater than self-control.

The possibility flashes before you – Maro, unable to stomach being cut off from Kekon. He seeks out new jade, expecting to stomach as much as he used to. Instead, Maro breaks, paranoia and fear dragging him under. He starts to blame others, including the clan who took everything from him. A man in such a state might consider revenge his only option.

The hypothesis fits, though it means nothing good for No Peak.

“What did he say?” Yoongi asks. “Tell us, word for word.”

“He…” Jio breaks into a coughing fit. “Knocked me out. When I woke up, I was tied to my kitchen chair. I asked Maro what the fuck he was doing.”

“And?” Namjoon prods. “What did he say?”

“Said he’d been gone for too long. That it was all a mistake – leaving, taking off his jade.”

“Is that why he came back?” you press.

Jio’s head lolls. “He asked who betrayed him. Said he only told a few people about the smuggling, so one of them must’ve done it. I didn’t know,” he rasps, shaking his head. “I wasn’t one of the people Maro told. He didn’t seem to remember – or care.”

Paranoia. Another unmistakable sign of the Itches.

“What else?” Namjoon asks. “How did you escape?”

“I don’t know.” Jio frowns, blood trickling from a cut above his eye. “Maro seemed confused. He kept asking who betrayed him, and then mentioning treasure? He wanted to know where his treasure was. I don’t even know what he meant,” he admits, glancing between you and Namjoon. “His jade? I dunno.”

“It could be,” you say slowly.

“He’d ask about his treasure one minute, then accuse it of betraying him,” Jio says. “He said he went where his treasure was, but it wasn’t there. Or they weren’t there? He kept mixing up tenses. Wasn’t sure he knew where he was, half the time.”

Off to the side, you feel a sudden surge of emotion – there and gone before you can dissect. Startled, you glance in the direction of Yoongi but find him unharmed. Eyes narrowed, you watch a moment longer before you turn back.

“If Maro wants his old jade, maybe he meant his apartment. He could have gone there to search first,” Namjoon offers.

“A waste,” you say with a frown. “Maro forfeited his jade to the clan before leaving.”

Forfeited to the Pillar, more accurately. You glance once more at Yoongi, who doesn’t react. He continues to examine Jio, a slight wrinkle between his brows.

“All roads lead to me, it would seem. How did you escape, Jio?” Yoongi adds, casually changing the subject.

“Didn’t, really.” Jio coughs, the sound wet. “Managed to get an arm free, lunged for Maro and fell on the floor. Maro… didn’t really notice. He swore something fierce, stabbed my fridge with his knife and ran off.”

You stare at him in disbelief. “He stabbed your… fridge?”

“Yeah.”

“That makes no sense.”

“If he has the Itches, it doesn’t have to,” Namjoon murmurs.

“True,” you say.

This feels important though, in a way you can’t pinpoint. Maro didn’t have any trouble killing before – the only reason he’d leave was if he found what he wanted. Frustration gnaws at your thoughts, certain you’re missing something.

Outside, you hear someone enter the driveway. Gravel skitters beneath tires, the car coming to a stop as someone exits.

“That must be the doctor.” Yoongi turns around, seemingly lost in thought. “I’ll go let them in.”

Pulling open the door, he exits with Hoseok. You watch them leave, returning your attention to Jio.

Looking weary, Jungkook sits back on his heels. “I’ve done what I can,” he says. “Stopped most of the internal bleeding. He should live.”

The door behind you opens. “I’ll be the judge of that,” says an unfamiliar woman, striding in. Setting down a black bag, she looks around. “Anyone without medical training should leave. Now.”

Brows raised, you obey and take your leave. In the hallway, Jungkook mutters something about readying the car and disappears. You remain in the house, pacing and waiting for Yoongi’s return.

Namjoon’s eyes follow your tread. “What are you thinking?”

Shaking your head, you stop to examine a portrait of Yoongi’s father. “I don’t know,” you admit. “Something about this feels off. Why would Maro leave so abruptly?”

“He wouldn’t,” Namjoon muses. “Not unless he found what he was looking for.”

“Maybe Jio is lying. Maybe he told Maro it was Yoongi who betrayed him. If that’s so though, why wouldn’t Maro come directly here?”

“Here?” Namjoon scoffs. “It’d be suicide to attack the Pillar in his own compound. No way – Maro is smarter. If I were him, I’d set a trap. Draw the Pillar out.”

A terrible suspicion dawns as you freeze, mid-stride. This is the moment the landline rings and, crossing the hallway, you yank down the phone.

“Hello?” you answer.

Asha’s voice fills your ears. “Y/N? Is that you?”

“Yes, it’s me,” you say, turning around. “What’s wrong?”

“I have… well, I don’t know what I have.”

“What do you mean?” you press. “What’s wrong?”

Noticing your expression, Namjoon frowns and pushes himself from the wall.

“I went to Jio’s like you asked. There was no sign of Maro, so I went back to the house and… it’s strange. Maro tied Jio up in his kitchen, and there are signs of a struggle, but…”

“But what, Asha?”

She pauses. “Did Jio tell you what happened?”

“Yeah.” Your gaze flicks to Namjoon, who listens to every word. “He said Maro swore, stabbed a fridge and ran off.”

“Oh. Okay.” Asha exhales. “I was worried you’d think I’m crazy. The thing is, Maro didn’t just stab a fridge – he stabbed a photo. A person, to be exact.”

“… Who was the person he stabbed?”

Namjoon goes still, and your grip on the phone tightens. Pieces of the puzzle slide into place, leaving a picture which turns your stomach. Dread fills you, knowing what Asha will say before she says it.

“Yejun,” she says, and a loud ringing fills your ears. “She works at the same hospital as Jio’s wife, and there’s a photo of them at some ceremony. The knife… it’s straight through Yejun’s head.”

Heart pounding, you close your eyes and frantically sweep the grounds. Deep down though, you already know what you’ll find.

Yoongi is gone.

Fury boiling over, you realize this was the epiphany Yoongi had earlier. It must have something to do with the word treasure – likely a nickname between Yejun and Maro. Maro was looking for Yejun, not his jade or revenge. Or maybe it is revenge – stomach sinking, you realize what this must seem like. Maro told Yejun about his operation and soon after, Yoongi found out.

Maro wants Yejun, which is something you should’ve seen from the beginning. Yoongi realized before you and now, he’s run off to play hero.

“Stay here,” you say, turning to Namjoon. Feverish anger burns your blood. “Get Jio to the hospital once he’s stable. Thanks, Asha,” you say before hanging up.

Namjoon’s eyes narrow. “Yoongi went after Yejun, didn’t he?”

“Maybe,” you say, pushing past. “If he did, I’ll find him.”

You don’t remember reaching your car, only that once you do, you drive faster than you ever have through Janloon. The hospital is a logical starting point since that’s what Maro saw from the photo.

Shutting down your thoughts, you continue to weave through traffic. Thinking begets worry, which can lead to mistakes. Tightening your grip, you push the car faster. Roaring down the next street, you recall Yejun is working early shifts this week. She mentioned it the other day, saying how glad she was to be home in time for dinner.

Glancing at the clock, your jaw tightens. After a moment’s hesitation, you make a sharp turn, car skidding a little on the next street. If Yejun is already home, better to first check that she’s safe.

Yoongi’s sister lives near the hospital, an allowance granted with the understanding that your men keep tabs. While it’s unlikely Maro knows her home address, he could have followed her there from the hospital.

Parking swiftly, you leap from the car and sprint inside. Someone on the street protests, all bravado disappearing when they notice your jade. You skid to a stop in the lobby, zeroing in on the doorman.

“Floor ten,” you say flatly.

Open-mouthed, the man stares. When you start to move forward, he snaps to attention. “Elevator is out,” he blurts. “You’ll have to take the stairs, like the rest.”

The rest.

Teeth gritted, you pivot and take the steps three at a time. The climb upward is steep, and you use a burst of Strength to reach the top. Shoving open the door to floor ten, you come to a sudden halt.

Chaos greets you.

The hall before you is narrow, barely two meters in width. Yoongi and Maro face each other midway, moon blades drawn and locked in combat. Lunging, Maro’s blade slices Yoongi’s shoulder and blood splatters the floor. Hissing, Yoongi doubles his Strength to kick Maro in the chest, sending him flying.

Maro slams into a window, glass raining around him. Rolling Light, Maro jumps to face Yoongi, unscathed. Stomach sinking, you notice the amount of jade Maro carries. More than he ever had while part of the clan. Clearly, Maro is past the point of caring about things like the Itches.

His aura feels wrong where it touches yours, jagged and pulsing. Leaping and whirling with unknown motive, withdrawing to expand in nonsensical patterns.

Face contorted, Maro unleashes a series of blows which nearly has Yoongi buckling. Clearly, Maro has continued training in exile. He looks similar and yet different – his hair longer, beard unkempt to hide the scar on his cheek. His body is lean, that of a wild wolf after winter who fights more desperately because of it.

Steeling himself, you feel Yoongi pull his aura inward, readying for the next blow. Maro slips beneath Yoongi’s blade and slashes – and Yoongi releases, Channeling his energy outward in a deadly wave. The invisible strike hits Maro dead-on, making him stumble.

Gaze bright, Maro’s head whips upward. Sensing murderous intent, a growl slips from your throat as you rush in. Swifter than breath, you wrench knives from your belt, thrusting them upward to catch Maro’s blade.

He shudders to a halt, teeth bared in your face.

Yoongi skids to a stop beside you, disbelief warring with his panic.

“GO!” you yell, glancing at Yejun’s door. “Now!”

Yoongi hesitates before nodding, lowering his sword to dart inside. Maro seethes when he escapes, shoving with all his weight to send you backwards. Dropping into a crouch, you brace yourself with one hand and kick outward. Maro leaps to avoid the blow, landing Light with a fierce glint in his eye.

Bright studs of jade – some red and oozing – dot his chest, clearly done in haste. Maro doesn’t seem to feel pain as he walks towards you.

 “You?” he taunts, half-laughing. “You’d barely graduated when I was chosen for Horn. Must be nice,” he muses. “A reward for fucking the boss.”

Biting your lower lip, you hold back your retort. When you do this, Maro smiles, lips pulled from his teeth.

Before he can speak, you lunge forward and Channel. Energy jabs Maro’s chest – enough to stun, but not kill. Grunting, Maro’s smile disappears as he Deflects. Bringing his sword down overhead, he leaves no room to dodge. Swiftly, you Steel and hope for the best.

Maro’s blade slams against skin, though he fails to draw blood. Springing forward, you strike hard enough to rend his shirt’s fabric. Pulling back, Maro seethes.

Your next series of blows are fueled by Strength, fast enough to elude normal vision. You rely on muscle memory and Perception, countering each of Maro’s strokes with your own. He’s not as fast as you are, but his additional jade gives him an edge.

His next Channel is clumsy but strong, enough to leave you winded and miss his next blow. You don’t Steel in time, his blade catching your jacket to cut your torso. Hissing, you stumble and press a hand to the wound.

The cut feels shallow but stings, nonetheless. Fury building, you hone your Perception to a narrow cone. Maro’s aura ebbs and flows, erratically bursting as he walks towards you.

“I don’t know why you’re bothering to fight,” he says, adjusting his grip on his sword. “If anything, you should join me, Y/N – I’m your future.”

Refusing to let him continue, you rush forward and exchange a flurry of blows that end in a stalemate.

Panting, Maro withdraws. “You have to understand I loved her,” he hisses. “I loved her, and she betrayed me. She deserves to die.”

“Who did?” you ask, although you already know.

Behind Maro, you see Yoongi rush from Yejun’s apartment. He holds her, unconscious, Yejun’s aura silent without jade ability. Fervent, you wish you could gauge her vitality. As it is, all you can do is buy them time to get help.

Sinking into a crouch, you draw Maro’s gaze. 

“Yejun?” you prod.

“Yes,” Maro breathes, his gaze bright. “I trusted her, and she turned me in. Do you know what I thought about every day while in Shotar? Her. Do you know what she thought about? The clan,” he spits. “He’ll betray you, too, in the end – you’ll see. Killing them both now would be a mercy.”

“Yejun didn’t betray you,” you say to buy time. “She wasn’t the one who told Yoongi – he found out on his own.”

Maro blinks, his surprise evident for a moment before vanishing under fury. “That’s just as bad,” he snaps, his voice rising. “Yoongi and I were like brothers. Under aisho, doesn’t family come first?”

“Even family is bound by honor,” you say grimly. “Should I ever be disloyal to my brother, may I die by the blade,” you add, reciting the Green Bone oaths. “I won’t join you, Toh Marosun. Take me by force if you must.”

His nostrils flare but before he can act, you rush in. Dimly, you register Yoongi’s retreating aura and hope he’s managed to escape the building. Lightness and Strength blur as you move, Maro’s Deflection flung hastily forward.

You keep your blows unpredictable, swift enough that Maro struggles. Rage cloaks your intention as you whirl and slice in erratic patterns. Sweat beads on Maro’s forehead, Steeling wrongly for your knives to draw blood.

Sensing victory, you push harder. Gathering his energy inward, Maro lashes out suddenly in a Channel you barely Deflect. Energy rips through you, searing your bones in a silent attack. Wincing, you leap back and Channel a blow. Maro stumbles, barely shielding and you recognize a flaw.

There are few Green Bones in Shotar, which must make it difficult for him to practice Deflection. Pressing the advantage, you move forward in a quick flurry of blows. Although Maro’s sword is larger, your knives gain the advantage in the small space. He can’t move when you duck underneath, stabbing upward to pierce his soft underarm.

Howling, Maro whirls and swings at you rashly. Leaning backwards, you Steel and catch the blow on your forearm. Vibrations clang through you, rattling the teeth in your skull. The two of you lock together, Maro’s energy clashing with yours. When he doubles his Strength, you feel your Steel buckle.

Lips split in a grin, Maro keeps his sword steady. Further increasing his Strength, he’s focused on winning he doesn’t notice the shift in your aura.

Dropping your Steel, you draw everything inward and let his sword slice your arm. Maro’s laugh is manic – until you Channel outward. The last of your energy shatters his Deflection, piercing inner organs with deadly precision. You feel the moment Maro’s heart stops, his arteries rupturing from the inside out.

Forgoing any mercy, your knife slashes his throat in a clean line.

Blood mists from the wound, coating the wall behind you in red. With a gurgled gasp, Maro lifts a hand – only to go limp and fall, face-first on the floor.

Silence descends, broken only by your ragged breathing. Not far off, sirens wail, and you sense Green Bone auras closing in on the building. Eyes closed, you force yourself to breathe in and out.

No matter how often you do it, killing another person never gets easier. Even when necessary. Even when said person threatens your life and others. You fortify yourself with the knowledge that Yoongi is safe, and Yejun will live – she has to.

The cost to your soul is too high for anything else.

“Is he dead?” asks someone behind you.

Swiftly, you turn as you open your eyes. You were so focused inward, you failed to notice Yoongi’s aura approach. The Pillar’s gaze snags, stopping on the man before you.

“Yes,” you say, bending to clean your knives. Heart hammering, you wonder what Yoongi feels at seeing his former friend dead. Wonder if he’ll blame you, as Maro said.

Setting your jaw, you sheath both your knives before standing. Immediately, you see you needn’t have worried. Yoongi isn’t looking at Maro, but at you. A lone muscle tics in his jaw, observing the crimson blood staining your clothes.

“The police are on their way. They’ll clean up the scene. You’re hurt,” Yoongi adds, his voice thick.

You glance down at your arm. “It’s nothing.”

Bending again, you begin to gather Maro’s jade. You’ll be expected to wear it the next time you’re in public, but right now, the touch of it is nearly overwhelming. Minor wounds and injuries pulse with each movement, already healing from your current jade.

“I’ll take it.” Yoongi suddenly is beside you, right hand extended. “Let me help.”

Relinquishing some of the jade piercings, you slide the rest in your pockets and push yourself to stand. Turning to face him, you stride down the hall. A roiling ball of emotion settles deep in your gut.

Worry about Yejun. Fury at Yoongi’s lies. Relief, that he’s here and unharmed.

Entering the stairwell, the door hits the wall with a satisfying thud. Yoongi follows closely, wisely choosing to remain silent. Two stories lower, you find the words to speak.

“Is Yejun okay?” you ask.

You feel Yoongi’s gaze on the back of your neck. “She’ll live,” he says, sounding weary. “I left her at the hospital with Namjoon and Jiro. She has a concussion. Maro got here a few minutes before I did and had already roughed her up.”

Something about this snaps the hold on your fragile self-control. Picturing what might have happened had you arrived a few seconds later, you whirl around and grasp Yoongi by his suit jacket.

“Never,” you blurt, yanking him closer. “Never do that to me again.”

Gaze burning, you stare him down and Yoongi watches warily. He doesn’t move an inch, allowing you to manhandle him. “I know that you’re angry,” he says carefully.

With a harsh laugh, you release him. “Of course, I am! You shouldn’t have come here alone.”

“I know that.”

“Well?” you demand after a long moment passes. “Aren’t you going to apologize?”

Yoongi lifts a brow. “I’d do it again.”

You stare at him, aghast. “Well, then.” You pause. Shake your head. “If that’s all you have to say, I think this night is over.”

Wiping your palms on your pants, you turn away. You only make it one flight before Yoongi’s hand finds your elbow.

Spinning you towards him, Yoongi pulls you closer. You manage to avoid eye contact until his fingers slip beneath your chin, making you face him.

“I know you want me to apologize, but I won’t,” he says lowly. “I refuse to apologize for trying to keep you from danger.”

Most people would swoon, hearing this from their lover but you aren’t most people. You’re the Horn of No Peak, sworn to protect the clan – and Yoongi – from any threats.

Your gaze narrows on his. “That’s a problem, then. I’m your Horn, Yoongi. It’s my duty to protect No Peak – to protect you. The Pillar is the spine of this clan and, once severed, No Peak can’t survive. It can survive without me, though.”

Yoongi’s nostrils flare. “And what about me?” he asks. “If you don’t survive, how do you expect me to continue?”

You go still. “Yoongi… I…”

“And for that matter,” he adds, his hand on your chin sliding to the back of your neck. “If you’re so intent on following the rules, who are you to give me orders? I’ll fight to protect the clan if I want to, Y/N.”

Fury expands from the spark in your chest. “You didn’t make me your Horn to follow you blindly,” you seethe.

“No.” His gaze softens. “I did not.”

You stare at each other for a long moment, each passing second draining some of your fire. You’re left with smoke on your tongue, a heaviness in your heart and the ever-growing certainty the time for rule-following has passed.

“You… can’t think like that,” you say eventually.

Yoongi’s brow sketches upward. “Like what?”

“Like I’m worth more than the clan. More than you, as it’s Pillar. That’s dangerous precedent.”

“I don’t care.”

“Well, I do,” you say, frustrated by his nonchalance. “The clan is my blood, and the Pillar is its master,” you add, reciting your oaths again. “You are the Pillar. Your life is that of the clan.”

Yoongi’s lips twist with displeasure. “It seems we’re at an impasse, since I refuse to place my life before yours.”

“Yoongi,” you snap, exasperated. “You can’t just… just –”

“Just what?” His eyes blaze. “Love you?”

“Yes,” you whisper, voice breaking.

Something in his face gentles. “I’m afraid it’s too late for that.”

Perceiving this truth, the last bit of fight drains from your body. Sensing it, Yoongi draws you closer and pulls you against him. Eyes shutting, you lean into his chest. Yoongi’s aura swallows you whole, an oasis of calm against the onslaught of night.

His breath warms your ear. “It was my problem to fix,” Yoongi murmurs, sounding reticent. “She… Yejun didn’t betray Maro, but she was going to – that’s how I found out. She was writing a letter to me on her kitchen table. I walked in and saw it.”

Lifting your head, you regard him. “You don’t have to explain to me why you spared your sister. I understand.”

“Thank you. You should know, though,” he adds, his voice fierce, “I will do anything to keep those I love from harm.”

You can’t help but smile, though it quickly fades. “I know you would, Yoongi. That’s a burden you can’t carry alone, though. It makes you weaker, not stronger.”

“This was my fault, though,” he says. “Not yours – nor anyone else from the clan. It was my decision to let Maro go free.”

“You aren’t responsible for Maro’s actions. And it’s not weakness to show mercy.”

A muscle jumps in his jaw.

“It’s not,” you press on. “Who’s to say what the right choice was? If you’d killed Maro back then, maybe something worse would’ve happened. Yejun might not have forgiven you. It’s impossible to rewrite the past, and you’ll go mad if you try.”

Yoongi looks away, unconvinced. “What type of Pillar does that make me, though?”

“One who hesitates before killing their friends.”

“One who balks at making tough decisions.”

“Min Yoongi.” Steel layers your voice and you reach up, turning his face to yours. “I would never swear oaths to someone who killed without question. Who made decisions in anger, then regretted them later. You question me when you question yourself.”

His gaze roams your face. “And what if others betray me?” Yoongi murmurs, voice lower. “Would you continue to support me if I was forced to kill Asha? Or Jungkook?”

“I’d trust you did what had to be done.”

“And what if I become corrupt?” he murmurs, his gaze flicking lower. “What if I’m the one being selfish, betraying the clan?”

“Well, that’s easy.” Reaching lower, you wrap a hand around the hilt of his blade. “I’ll kill you myself.”

Not looking away, Yoongi’s hand covers yours. “You could try,” he murmurs, some of his tension dissipated.

“Oh, I think I’d succeed.”

Releasing your hand, Yoongi finds your knee and hitches your leg against him. “If it came to that,” he murmurs, nose skimming your throat, “I’d let you.”

Inhaling softly, you close your eyes. “Promise me one thing.”

“Anything.”

Perceiving the truth to his words, you open your eyes. Yoongi stares back, letting you see the starkness in his gaze. It’s no small thing for the most powerful man in Kekon to promise you anything.

Similarly, it’s no small thing to admit he holds your heart in both hands. Which is why you need to say what you do next. Without Yoongi’s next promise, this can’t go any further.

“Don’t make these decisions without me,” you whisper. “Let me decide for myself when a job is too dangerous.”

Yoongi’s lips flatten. “You give me an impossible choice, since nothing is too dangerous for my lovely Horn.”

“Trust that I love you, then,” you say, your hand trembling as you rise to cup his face. “And that I’ll do what it takes to come back.”

Yoongi goes still at your declaration. His pupils dilate so far, they seem to swallow the light. Four years, you’ve spent fighting together. Five months of knowing him this way, and never have you uttered those words to his face.

The transformation is quick, his expression shifting to desire in barely a breath. Bending, Yoongi drags your mouth to his. “Say it again,” he growls against your lips. “Tell me you love me.”

“You’ll become greedy,” you say, breathless.

“I’m the Pillar of No Peak.” He gives a half-laugh. “I will always want more.”

“Then, take it.”

Opening your mouth, Yoongi walks you backwards until your spine hits the wall. You lose yourself in his touch, his taste, the fatal heat of his body. Fingers tangling in hair, you’re rewarded by the basest of groans from his lips. Yoongi’s hands find your body, grasping and searching to pull you against him.

Far below, the faint pulse of jade auras brush yours. “Yoongi,” you moan, nipping his lower lip. “We should go.”

Pulling away, his thumbs indent your hips. “Go where?”

“Your place. My place. I don’t care.”

“I do,” he says with a grin. “Want to wake up with you in my bed.”

You can’t help but laugh. “You’re so needy.”

“I am.” His lips curve. “I need many things, Y/N. You in my bed. Eventually, in my house. Your vows exchanged for mine. But first” – his brow lifts – “I need to fuck you. Need to bury myself inside you.”

Lips parting, you attempt to digest this information. Everything Min Yoongi has laid on the line. The last sentence catches your attention though, heat curling in your belly and replacing all sentient thought. The rest can come later – first, you need him inside you.

“Let’s go,” you declare, pushing yourself from the wall.

He chuckles, low in his throat as he follows your lead. Halfway down, Yoongi’s arm finds your waist to pull you against him. His teeth scrape the skin beneath your ear, pausing to nip the highest jade hoop.

“Where will you put your new jade?” he muses, pressing his erection to you from behind. “You’re running out of places on your body.”

“I’ll think of something,” you murmur, Yoongi’s tongue on your neck proving extremely distracting. “Wrist cuffs might be nice.”

“If you wanted to be cuffed” – his voice dips – “all you had to do was ask.”

“That is not what I was referring to,” you say, although a shiver traces your spine.

“Pity.”

A second before exiting the stairwell, Yoongi releases you and takes a step back. You ignore the disappointment this brings, forcing your expression to neutral. Already, police cars are arriving to hold back the crowds.

From across the lobby, you spot Asha and Hoseok in deep conversation with uniformed officers. Moving towards them, you’re surprised when Yoongi takes you by the elbow.

“I ran into Hoseok in the lobby,” he says, steering you sideways. “He and Asha will clean up and meet us back home.”

Hoseok nods when you pass, his jaw tight in a way that implies displeasure. Swallowing laughter, you push open the door and immediately, your smile vanishes. Many people have gathered, huddled in groups around the yellow caution tape.

Catching sight of your reflection, you stifle a groan. You look terrible – sweat and blood mar your forehead, the rips in your jacket showing your wounds. Before anything between you and Yoongi can happen, you need a hot shower.

“The situation’s been handled,” Yoongi says to the crowd, pulling you towards the car. “Green Bones are searching the area for remaining danger – you should be able to enter the building soon. No Peak will compensate for damages.”

With that, he opens the car door and watches you enter. Expressions shift in the crowd, a wave of relief washing over the people. Yoongi joins you in the backseat, leaning forward to instruct the driver to go.

The car rumbles from the curb, its speed slow to avoid the pedestrians in your path. Grateful for the tinted windows, you lean sideways and rest your head against the cool glass.

In the reflection, you watch Yoongi retrieve his car phone. “Namjoon?” he says after a moment. “It’s done – Maro is dead. How’s Yejun?”

Namjoon’s reply is muffled, and your thoughts wander. Once you return, you should find Jungkook and instruct him to search Maro’s former haunts. There’s a chance he wasn’t working alone and if so, you’ll need to catch his supporters.

Tonight has taken a toll though, no matter how much you’d like to pretend otherwise. Exhaustion settles while you stare out the window, watching the lights of Janloon flick past.

Yoongi hangs up the phone. “Yejun is fine,” he says, and you turn your head. “Namjoon said she lost a lot of blood, but nothing that can’t be fixed. She should be awake in a few hours.”

Relief floods your body. “That’s good.”

His hand rests beside yours on the seat, close enough to feel the heat from his palm. Exhaling softly, Yoongi shifts until his hand covers yours.

Going still, you stare at your entwined hands on the leather. The car slows beneath you, coming to a stop before the Min gates. Another moment passes before the gates open, the car rumbling forward as Yoongi speaks up.

“You can take us to my place, Galo,” he says. “No need to stop at the main house.”

Startled, you glance sideways, but Yoongi doesn’t seem to notice. Never mind the driver’s raised eyebrows, or the fact that Yoongi just told him you’re sleeping together. While it’s true, you’ve slept here before, you’ve never been obvious. It feels as though a bridge has been crossed without discussion of what that means.

The moment the car is in park, you exit the vehicle and slam the door. Striding inside the front door, you unzip your jacket to hang on a hook. If Yoongi thinks he can share your relationship with others, you have every right to act at home in his house.

Technically, the Horn has a house on Min property, but you’ve always preferred to keep a separate residence. Your apartment in the city has served you well – except for the nights you stay here and sneak out the next morning.

Removing your boots, you set these aside. “We just discussed this,” you fume as you turn. “Ask me next time before you decide–”

Your words are cut off by Yoongi’s mouth, pushing you back until your spine hits the wall. “Couldn’t wait,” he rasps, shutting the door with his foot. “Need you. Now.”

Exhaling, you melt and arch upward against him. Grasping your thigh, Yoongi yanks your leg higher to wrap around his waist. The thick length of his cock presses to your center and you nearly whimper. Fiery anger dissolves into need – the need to touch him, feel him and wash away tonight’s fear.

“Yoongi,” you moan, turning your head. “I need to shower.”

Grasping your wrists with one hand, he presses them above your head. “Do you?” he murmurs, kissing down your neck.

“I’m covered in blood,” you protest.

Glancing up, Yoongi smirks. “And?”

Stifling laughter, you push at his chest. Obedient, Yoongi releases your hands to take a step backward. “Not to mention,” you say as you move past, “I’d rather not have Toh Marosun’s blood in your bed.”

Yoongi’s next action is quick, happening in the same breath. Catching your wrist in one hand, he pulls you closer. “The next time you say a man’s name in this house,” he rasps. “It had better be mine.”

“We’ll see,” you say loftily. “Now, let me wash up.”

Releasing you, Yoongi lets you pass, and you don’t turn around. If you did, you know you might cave and fuck him right there on the floor.

Entering his bedroom, you flick on the lights. Soft, muted warmth fills a room of concrete. Bulletproof windows overlook dense vegetation, invoking the feel of a post-apocalyptic city. Pausing in the doorway, you inhale his scent.

Although you’d never tell Yoongi – it’d go to his head – this room has swiftly become one of your favorite places. Watching dawn break in his arms has brought you greater peace than any of the gods.

In his bathroom, you help yourself to his fancy products and step under the spray. Securing your hair, you do your best to avoid the strands getting wet. Cranking up the heat to high, steam fills the room as you scrub blood from your skin. The water beneath your feet turns red, and then pink before finally clear.

Once done, you turn off the spray and wrap yourself in a towel. Straining Perception, you find Yoongi showering across the house. You’re momentarily surprised he didn’t try and join, although grateful he didn’t. After five years of knowing one another, Yoongi understands when you need time alone.

You’re washing your face when the bedroom door creaks. Drying your skin, you cross to the closet and withdraw a robe. Securing the tie, you wipe steam from the mirror before opening the door.

Yoongi sits on the edge of his bed, damp hair curling at the base of his neck. He’s freshly washed and changed into a plain shirt and trousers. In one hand, he holds a crystal glass of hoji, swirling it once before taking a sip.

Leisurely, his gaze drags down your body. When Yoongi looks up, his face brims with unsaid desire. Silent, he sets down his glass and pushes himself to stand. Watching him eagerly, you Perceive his intent when Yoongi prowls closer.

Coming to a stop before you, Yoongi lifts his hand to cup the back of your neck. Tilting your face upward, he strokes your damp skin with his fingers.

Silent, he lowers his face until your lips nearly touch. “What was it you said?” he murmurs. “About the clan being your blood and the Pillar, its master?”

Your breath catches in your throat. “You know the oaths as well as I do.”

“Yes.” Bending, Yoongi uses Strength to lift you against him. Gripping you tightly, he carries you to his dresser and deposits you there. “Well,” he says, lowering himself. “Allow me to show you who I get on my knees for.”

You stare at him, mesmerized when he parts your legs. Pulling your hips to the edge, Yoongi grips your thigh with a veined hand. The sight of him like this is downright sinful. Desire courses through you, setting your skin ablaze.

Yoongi leans forward, gaze meeting yours at the first brush of his tongue. You groan with relief, thighs spreading further. Lifting his other hand, Yoongi tugs at the tie of your robe. You inhale when it opens, fully bared while Yoongi’s tongue curls against your dripping sex.

He pulls away, eyes dark and casually spreads your folds. Muttering something that sounds like a swear, he stares at your cunt before lowering his head and sucking your clit. A dark moan escapes, weight shifting to get him even closer. Forcing your thighs open, Yoongi begins to flick his tongue against your swollen mound.

He doesn’t rush this, taking his time while eating you out. Yoongi flicks, and then swirls before sucking your clit. His tongue drags to your cunt, already dripping with arousal. Humming in satisfaction, Yoongi shifts on the floor and slips his tongue inside. Gasping his name, your fingers curl in the dark strands of his hair.

His tongue slowly fucks you, barely a taste of what’s to come. “Yoongi,” you groan, moving against him. “I need more.”

“Anything,” he says, pulling back to spread you with his fingers. Yoongi’s thumb finds your clit, casually stroking until your body quivers. “Take off the robe,” he demands, looking up. “I want to see you.”

Wordless, you push the supple silk from your shoulders.

“Fuck,” Yoongi breathes, staring at rounded breasts and hard nipples. Lowering his head, he sucks your clit again. Sliding a hand under your ass, he drags you close to the edge.

Gasping out loud, your hand fists his hair to anchor your body. In the mirror behind him, you watch your chest heave, hips undulating while he licks your pussy. Head tipping back, you lose yourself in sensation, each stroke of his tongue further coiling your tension. Yoongi is patient; he knows what you need and takes his time getting there.

Cupping his head, you move your hips while starting to ride his tongue. When Yoongi strokes your entrance and slips a finger inside, you nearly convulse.

“Yoongi,” you gasp, legs shaking.

“That’s it,” he murmurs, lifting his head. Curling that finger, he strokes a dangerous place. “Come for me.”

When his tongue resumes motion, you feel your walls convulse. Tighter and tighter until – everything snaps, a wave of pleasure cresting through you. Thighs trembling, you hold Yoongi’s hair while you cry out his name.

The pleasure slowly subsides, leaving you slumped on the dresser. Yoongi pushes himself upward, cock straining eagerly against the seams of his pants. Cupping the back of your neck, he kisses you deeply, allowing you to taste yourself. Parting your lips with his tongue, he dives into you eagerly, one hand slipping to slide into your pussy.

Groaning his name, you fumble with the buttons holding his shirt together. “This,” you demand. “Off.”

Using Strength, you send the buttons flying. Yoongi smirks, withdrawing and pushing his shirt to the ground. Touching his chest, you stare at him, unabashed. The lean lines of his torso, the indent of his v, the jade lining his fingers where he grips you tightly.

His moon blade is absent, likely the first thing he cleaned upon entry. Still, the hum of Yoongi’s jade is a potent weapon – nearly as much as the need in his eyes.

Lowering your hand, you palm the bulge in his pants. Jaw flexing, Yoongi lifts your leg to wrap around him. The roughness of his pants against your sex makes you hiss.

“Yoongi,” you moan. “Want to touch you.”

“I want that, too,” he murmurs, hair falling into his gaze. “More than that, I want to be inside you.”

Breath catching, you remove your hand as he presses forward. You feel his cock through his pants, rock-hard and straining against your needy pussy. Swallowing thickly, you managed to undo the last button and shove his pants down. Stepping free of their confines, Yoongi palms his own cock.

Replacing his hand, you give him a squeeze. Yoongi lowers his head to close his lips around a waiting nipple. A whimper rises when he tugs, switching to the other breast and repeating the motion. Arching upward, you lazily drag your thumb over the tip of his cock.

Eventually, Yoongi looks up and hisses, “Enough.”

Reaching lower, he guides his cock to your entrance. Leaning back on your palms, you lift one knee to allow him better access. Yoongi pauses, gaze traveling your face to your chest, landing on your cunt. Exhaling softly, your head tips back as you widen your legs.

“You’re perfect,” Yoongi rasps, flicking his thumb over your hooded clit.

Inhaling, you tremble from oversensitivity. Bending, Yoongi slowly spits to land moisture on your cunt. It drips down your sex, mixing with arousal while Yoongi pushes the tip of his cock inside. He pauses, watching your face, then adds another inch.

You arch upward, trying and failing to take him in deeper. “Is that all you have?” you challenge, goading.

Yoongi merely smirks. “Do you think,” he murmurs, refusing to move, “you can make me give you what you want?”

When he starts to withdraw, you tilt your hips, and he slides in a bit deeper. Yoongi groans as he fills you, hand tightening on your waist.

“Yes,” you gloat, brushing your breasts to his chest. “I do.”

Yoongi’s gaze flares, and he pushes in a bit more. “I know you, Y/N,” he murmurs, moving one hand to your neck. Thumb brushing your collarbone, he hauls you upright and keeps your thighs spread. “I know you want this pussy filled nice and slow. I know you want me to tease you. I know you want to feel in control but have someone else do the work. And I want – no, need,” Yoongi corrects, aura flaring, “to be the one giving it to you.”

Before you can respond, he thrusts forward and fills you with his cock. A cry leaves you, unable to do anything but take it. With your legs spread, hips tilted, the thickness of his length presses to your g-spot. And when Yoongi withdraws and leaves your body empty, you think you might cry. Think you might beg to have more of his cock.

Luckily, Yoongi doesn’t want this. Thrusting into you fully, he starts to move. Filling you up with his thickness, he goes harder and harder until you can barely think straight. His hips pound yours, filling you to the brim, making you take it. Fingers brushing the jade on your throat, he spikes your arousal and drenches his cock.

“Fuck,” Yoongi breathes, staring at the place he disappears inside you. “You’re amazing.”

“Yoongi,” you groan. “I need… need…”

“Yeah?” His gaze lifts. “Tell me what you need.”

“Deeper,” you plead.

His aura flares briefly before he pulls out. Before you can speak, his hands find your waist, setting you on the floor to turn you around. Spreading your legs, he presses a hand to your back to push you lower.

Gripping his dresser, you look over your shoulder while he positions himself from behind. “What about now?” Yoongi asks, slipping inside with one thrust.

Lips parting, you bend further and stick out your ass. Yoongi starts to move when you spread your legs, fucking you harder. His thrusts become rougher, hips slapping your ass while your breasts bounce.

“That’s it,” he says, leaning forward to lace one hand with yours. His other slides between your thighs, flicking over your clit. “So wet and tight for me. Taking my cock like you own it.”

“Don’t I?” you groan.

“Mm,” he agrees, rubbing circles on your clit. “It’s yours – I’m yours.”

Before you can respond, he pulls out again. Draping you over one shoulder, Yoongi carries you, Light, to his bed. You scowl, hitting his thigh but Yoongi responds with a firm smack to your ass. His fingers slip briefly between your cheeks, wetting himself with your slick. Before you can moan, he deposits you on the bed.

Kneeling between your legs, Yoongi repositions himself at your entrance and pushes in.

“Oh,” you groan, heading tilting back.

You love sex with Yoongi in every position, but this is your favorite. Feeling his callouses slide over our skin, his weight heavy while filling you with his cock. Yoongi’s length slides inside, rocking into you slowly while his hair brushes your forehead.

Reaching up, you push this from his face when he starts to move. If there’s one thing you’ve learned from tonight, it’s that these moments are precious. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you hold him tighter.

“Marry me,” Yoongi says.

You go still underneath him. “I… what?”

Sliding his hand under your hips, Yoongi tilts them to get deeper. “Marry me,” he repeats. “I’m tired of pretending. Tired of waking up without you. Living my life without you.”

“You have me,” you say, unsure whether he’s serious.

Slowly, he thrusts in and out of your body. “Not the way I want.” His eyes flash. “As not only my Horn, but my wife. I want to be your husband. I want the entire world to know I belong to you.”

Taking your other hand, Yoongi moves this to the bed while continuing to thrust. You arch against him, chasing his hips and words with your own.

“People will talk,” you say, breathless.

His gaze sparks. “Do you think I care?”

“Maybe I care,” you say. “They’ll call me a distraction. And don’t give me that bullshit about my life being worth more than yours.”

“I wouldn’t dare,” Yoongi chuckles, teeth scraping your neck. “What I will say is that I’m better with you. And if I’m better, the clan is better. Not that you should marry me because of that,” he adds, almost an afterthought.

You lose your breath when he circles his hips, driving into you deeper. Thighs parting, you lose yourself in the feel of him in you. His body moves as his soul does, completing you fully. In truth, you’ve avoided this conversation because you know how it ends.

It ends with Yoongi. He’s it for you. From the first time you kissed, you knew it would end up here – it was only a matter of when. Your remaining barriers crumble as you meet his gaze.

“Yes,” you exhale, your hips chasing his.

Yoongi’s aura sharpens. “Yes?” he repeats. “Is that… agreement or acceptance?”

“Yes – as in yes, Yoongi, I’ll marry you.”

Yoongi goes completely still, ignoring your protest. A second later, he’s consumed by a wave of emotion. Need – fiery and stark – sweeps through him as he bends, crushing your lips to his. Yoongi’s kiss burns, searing and marking you for one another.

Slipping an arm beneath your knee, Yoongi pushes upward to get even deeper. You gasp with pleasure, his cock hitting a spot that makes you incoherent.

“Soon,” he adds, adding Strength to his thrusts.

Breathless, your fingertips dig into his skin. “Don’t be greedy,” you chide, losing some credibility when a moan leaves your lips.

His upper lip curls. “I am, though,” Yoongi grunts, pushing you close to the edge. “I’ll never have enough of you, Y/N.”

“Good,” you say, holding him tightly. “I’m yours, Yoongi.”

A groan escapes him, burying his face in your neck. The muscles in Yoongi’s shoulders strain, fucking you harder. “I could die hearing those words.”

“Don’t. That’s an order.”

Yoongi looks up to lock gazes. “Whatever you want. I need it, Y/N. Need this – want to feel you come on my cock.”

Already close to the edge, his words leave you trembling. Clutching him harder, you widen your thighs and feel your walls shatter when you come undone. Pleasure consumes you, vision going dark as you throw back your head. Yoongi’s lips brush your throat, continuing to thrust through your orgasm.

Swearing when you tighten, Yoongi goes harder to chase his release. On his last thrust, he breaks, your name on his tongue as hot cum fills your body. Slowly, he lowers himself to the bed beside you. Yoongi slips partway out, your bodies still intertwined.

Lifting a hand, you drag this down his side. Yoongi smiles at you before pulling out, reaching to grab a tissue from his nightstand. He cleans you with care, then rises from bed to throw it away. Slipping beneath the covers, you wait for his return.

Yoongi does so quietly, dimming the light before he joins you in bed. Slowly, your eyes adjust until Yoongi’s moon-limned face becomes visible.

“Did you mean it?” you say, barely more than a whisper.

“I’ve never meant anything more in my life,” he says roughly. “And you? Did you also mean what you said?”

Slowly, you nod.

Joy floods his aura, sharp and bright. “Anything you want,” Yoongi says, determined. “You have only to ask. Cities burnt. Villains vanquished. My own name, forsaken – ask, and it’s yours.”

You can’t help but laugh, your whole body shaking. “Villains vanquished?” you tease, pressing closer. “There are some who might call you the villain of this story.”

His lip twitches. “Then, I’ll defeat myself.”

“Seems like an easy fight.”

Mock growling, he rolls to pin you underneath him. You laugh louder, the sound muffled when Yoongi bends to kiss you. By the time his head lifts, the two of you are breathless.

“I apologize,” you murmur, cupping his face. “Most fearsome Pillar.”

Baring his teeth, he nips your thumb. “That’s better.”

“Truly, though,” you tell him. “There’s no need to get me anything. Whatever I want, I can get for myself.”

Somewhat amused, Yoongi settles beside you. “Oh, I’m aware. My heart, for instance,” he says, placing your hand on his chest.

“That, I’ll accept,” you say softly, staring at your hand on his skin. Your gaze lifts. “As long as mine belongs to you, in turn.”

“A heart for a heart,” Yoongi agrees, moving closer.

Skin pressed to skin, you feel your hearts settle. No Green Bone magic ties two souls together. Instead, that magic lies within the bounds of normal humans. And yet, as you breathe and listen to the blood in his veins, you can’t help but feel something greater is at work.

Something even death could not part – although you’d dare it to try.

 © kpopfanfictrash, 2023. Do not copy or repost without permission.

Author’s Note: thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed. Go read Jade City by Fonda Lee. LOL   

[semiotomatics]

i meant to make some big well-written post abt it but unfortunately my brain was otherwise occupied experiencing The Horrors so instead, have some wordvomit

this past monday marked twenty years since i went on a field trip to the library and ran my hand along a bookshelf in the children's fiction section and found a book called So You Want To Be A Wizard* and brought it home and read it cover to cover in like. a day. and i couldn't even begin to explain how that day has shaped my life but i do just wanna acknowledge it and say that i'm so glad my friend let me borrow her library card (cause i didn't have my own yet) so i could bring the book home and i'm so glad my mum special ordered the rest of the series from the local independent bookstore almost immediately after i finished it and i'm so glad i discovered the forums and i'm so glad i found so many cousins on tumblr—including my best friend and platonic soulmate @astraldepths—and i'm so glad i got to help plan and execute crossingscon (twice!!) and that i got to meet so many of you in person—INCLUDING DD HERSELF—and i'm just. so glad i discovered this series

i have like twelve copies of SYW but i think my favourite is the twentieth anniversary edition (which is now, itself, twenty years old—wild), because it contains both the short story Uptown Local, which i adore, and an afterword by DD, which i have read entirely too many times. anyway, i wanna share a quote from that afterword, bc it seems fitting:

Wizardry, too, changes with the times, because its practitioners do...and indeed it must change, to keep up with the Lone Power, Itself never averse to using new means to Its old end. Even the Wizard's Oath will seem to change from time to time, altering its appearance according to species, age, cast of mind, and (sometimes) simply according to where you're standing, in time and space, when you examine it. But beyond that, as the series continues, I can promise that some things will always stay the same—the knowledge of a partner's dependable friendship; a shared go-for-broke determination to get it right when the Universe is watching; and the glad adrenaline rush caused by the sudden incursion of the unexpected...as when you run your hand down a row of books on a library shelf and one of them catches your finger.

so yeah. in lieu of a more coherent post abt it, i just wanna say. thank you @dduane. for everything 💚

[delreyshit]

Dinner

Summary: For months you worked with Ghost, forming a healthy friendship and a connection beyond the… Ethical? Anyway, Ghost feels a need to go for more with you, he wants you, and he plans to win you over, so what better way to start than with a date?

Note: if this gets good results I will think about making a short serie based on this. Also, I was inspired by a tiktok video, so I took the time to write this as best as I could, enjoy :)

I expected anything but this. A couple of days ago, during a mission Lieutenant Ghost, with whom I had a nice friendship, followed by some innocent flirting, came up to me and said:

“I know I'm older than you, for God's sake, I'm 43 and you're barely 27. However, you're very pretty, doll How about we go out together?”

Day and night I held his words in my head, Doll? My legs trembled just remembering his rough voice uttering and referring to me that way. I've been in love with him since the first moment I met him, but I never thought Ghost would yearn for me the way I did.

And there I was, sitting in a refined, yet romantic restaurant, fiddling with the pearls on my bracelet as I watched the burly man I was accompanying tense his arms with his shirt rolled up and his jaw clench as he argued with a waiter.

I swirled the wine glass, amused by the liquid moving in reflections through the glass. I was surprised when in the glass, Ghost's large figure distorted as he sat next to me.

"Excuse me, sweetheart. These idiots… I booked this place days ago and we'll still have to wait a long time for them to take our orders."He sighed. "Don't worry, I'm not hungry. We can wait with these muffins."I smiled falsely as I pointed my hands at the basket on the table.

A deep chuckle peeked out from her thin lips, something very captivating.

"All right, all right. But I owe you a better date, a more… Perfect one."He said, resting his hand on my thigh, snuggling the fabric of my dress.

His very masculine perfume captivated my 5 senses in an impressive way, certainly a scent I wasn't used to, as his suits often hide his whole body, leaving my imagination in charge of what he would look like under his clothes.

"Ghost" "Tell me Simon, please."He interrupted me. "Simon… As much as I would love to spend the whole night with you, I can't get back to my place too late."I mumbled, almost embarrassed. "Oh, no problem, honey, but why should I let you go earlier?"he smiled sweetly. "Tomorrow I have to organize my things and pack them, because I'm moving, closer to work." "Wow, that's interesting."Her hand stroked his chin wisely."Well, if you need help transporting or storing your things, I'm here for you." "Thanks, Simon. I know I can count on you."I replied as I reached out to subtly caress his cheek. To which his body immediately reacted, bristling.

Our order was taken care of and delivered sooner than Simon and I expected. As the delicious plate of spaghetti and meatballs was placed before me, Simon very generously grabbed a cloth napkin and placed it on my legs.

"We don't want your dress to get food on it, do we?"he said with a flirtatious smile.

"Excuse us sir, your plate will take a little longer to arrive, but you won't even notice when it's in front of you."said the waiter, a bit anxious.

"It's okay, I can wait. Just bring me a bottle of wine, please."he replied wearily.

I stroked Simon's forearm as the waiter nodded to his request and vanished among the tables.

"If you like, we can share the food on my plate."I offered. "Don't worry, you eat in peace." "In that case, I'll wait for your food to arrive, I'm not going to eat alone."I answered.

"Oh, not that. Your food will get cold."He said as he settled back in his chair. "I don't care if it gets cold."I said, crossing my arms. "Well, I do, so if you don't eat on your own, I'll make you swallow it all." He looked at me with a mischievous smile.

"Make me."I provoked him with my eyes.

He was quick to grab the services and hurriedly cut up a couple of noodles and meat, leaving them ready to eat on his fork. He exhaled loudly as he grabbed my face with one hand and stroked me from my cheeks to my chin with Desperation? Maybe, yes… I gawk at him, shivering at his caresses and I can't be sure if it's because of the fact of his dominating aura in front of me or because I could see all the expressions his face articulated, he definitely needs to be out in the open and without his mask more often.

A gentle, but quick slap brought me out of my thoughts, taking me by surprise.

"What was that?" "Open your mouth."he ordered me.

I didn't argue with him and instead behaved submissively and let him feed my mouth. My face was overwhelmed with how hot I felt.

"Enjoy…"he whispered in my ear.

He kissed my gristle and then, pulled out a small rose that adorned the vase on the table and placed it between my ear and my hair. I laughed as I tried to chew my food, amused at his somewhat bipolar actions. The move could wait. Without a doubt, tonight would be unforgettable and romantic… And rough.

Extra note: English is not my first language, so I apologize in case there are some mistakes, I try to get better every day. Also if you think I need to work on something, don't doubt to let me know.

[inhonoredglory]

i dont know if you partake in any of the doctor who comics at all - i certainly dont. i like keeping my sanity safe (its a mess of strange stories and paradoxes from what ive been able to tell. as are most comic series). but recently there was one that elaborated a bit on rose and the metacrisis’s life post journeys end, and its one of the few pieces of media we have for them. i didnt care enough to read the whole thing, the only interesting part to me was apparently they had a little girl named mia, and ive been thinking abt that dynamic nonstop since. cant decide how realistic it is for them, but on the otherside augh its so sweet. anyway, i just wanted to ask how you feel about rose and the metacrisis in general, and whatever that entails. curious abt ur thoughts on them!

- armin anon/lesbian anon/whatever you feel like calling me lol

OMGG my anon (of many names lol)! OK first off, I drafted some of this way back but forgot to add on and post, so in the words of our beloved Doctor,

🌹 But onto the DW comics and Meta-Crisis/Rose!!

I only recently started reading the comics, starting with the ones about Gabby Gonzalez by Nick Abadzis, and I have to admit:

They make me yearn pretty fucking hard to run away and travel with the Doctor. There's some killer art by Elena Casagrande that feels so much like the Doctor we know and love (that kindness, that earnest love.... god!! my heart and soul!!).

But I warn ye (any readers of this post), DO NOT TOUCH Volume 2 by Robbie Morrison. He takes Ten blatantly out of character, making him out to be an arrogant bastard who belittles his companion and is flippant in the face of suffering. (Morrison watched too much Eleven, methinks 🙈)

I haven't read the Rose/Meta-Crisis comic yet (part of the Empire of the Wolf series), but I did see the important panel from that series, showing Rose's daughter Mia:

I think the Meta-Crisis settling down to have a family with Rose is pretty in-character and very much what the Tenth Doctor would have wanted, as much as it hurt him.

Because Ten fundamentally felt unworthy of Rose.

💔 The Doctor's Trauma

Rose was strong and compassionate and amazing, and Ten had done so much, seen so much, experienced so much tragedy and guilt. He's a man wrecked by PTSD, depression, shame, and self-blame. He felt like it wasn't fair to her that she'd sacrifice her life to someone who would go on living and changing and becoming a different person, while she grew old and died in a world without a home and away from everyone she knew.

He didn't want her to become like him, homeless and without the love of friends and family, because to be him is to be alone. And he didn't want that for her. Because he wanted her to be happy, not just momentarily, but for the rest of her life.

Ten is a man who loathes taking life, and it weighs on him every time someone sacrifices who they are because they love him.

It's no surprise Ten's entire decision about the Meta-Crisis took place after Davros massively guilt-tripped him into thinking it was his fault that all those people died. (It wasn't.) But Davros played on Ten's depression and trauma, manipulating Ten into thinking he had done unforgivable things to the people he loved. (when in fact those people died because they were inspired to be selfless like him, or were killed someplace beyond the Doctor's reach)

I've actually been doing a lot of research on Ten's trauma (including invaluable insight from Judith Lewis Herman's famous book Trauma and Recovery). This journal article about Major Depressive Disorder speaks so deeply to Ten's character, especially post-Time War and post-Davros:

"Guilt promotes altruistic behavior via acting out reparative tendencies, whereas shame reduces altruism by means of increasing social and interpersonal distance."

This explains so much about Ten's choice to sacrifice his own happiness and ask Rose to take his Meta-Crisis as her life partner. He's pushing her away, isolating himself. He's rejecting the people he loves the most because he's in a very, very dark place.

🖤🤍💜 An Asexual (Meta) Reading

There's so many reasons that Ten felt he couldn't give Rose the life she wanted (his trauma, his values). There's one angle I've been sifting around in my head in the past couple years, and it's more of a headcanon than anything: For me, because of the way the Doctor's character has been established since 1963, the Doctor's own asexuality is an almost meta-conceptual reason why the Doctor in general can't have a "normative," family life.

He couldn't say "I love you"—not because he didn't love her. (He loved her more than he ever loved himself.) But also because he knew what saying those words would mean: the expectations, the responsibility, the behaviors he felt she deserved to have from him because those words carry so much weight in human culture. All those things he could not give her.

But the Meta-Crisis could. I personally headcanon that the Meta-Crisis is not asexual like the Doctor. (Just like John Smith may not have been asexual either.) The point of both John Smith and the Meta-Crisis is showing how much they differ from the Doctor—and I think sexuality is one of those differences. It's why it was so easy for John Smith to imagine a traditional life, why it was so easy for the Meta-Crisis to promise his entire world and his entire self to Rose on that beach.

🌹 The Meta-Crisis and Rose Tyler

Which brings me back to the Tentoo himself. He was born in battle and he can die, but what does that exactly mean for his life with Rose? It's fascinating because to imagine the Doctor feeling mortality and knowing he cannot cheat death anymore—that's a horrific, terrifying thing.

There are actually two Big Finish Audios that explore this traumatic realization for the Doctor, and what that does to him. (They're both one-shots from Jackie's POV and narration, and you can listen to them here: Part 1, Part 2).

It makes Tentoo lean into his Ninth-era darkness, a ruthlessness to villains driven by the fear that he cannot protect Rose because he is not indestructible. But luckily for him, there are people he loves around him (Jackie and Rose) who keep him from that darkness.

Additionally, the Big Finish stories lean into the fact that Tentoo and Rose aren't sitting idly by. Both of them work for Torchwood and are growing their own TARDIS to continue to defend the Earth.

They don't settle down into a domestic life, at least not right away, and I think that suits them both. We know how much Rose didn't want the life of eating chips and watching telly. But listen to what RTD's Doctor Who has always tried to say: How deeply important the everyday things are, how much the Doctor, for how amazing they are, craves for a life of simplicity and the stupid little things that define humanity.

Because here's the key: It wasn't the everyday things that bothered Rose. Like she told Mickey in "Parting of the Ways":

ROSE: But what do I do every day, mum? What do I do? Get up, catch the bus, go to work, come back home, eat chips and go to bed? Is that it? MICKEY: It's what the rest of us do. ROSE: But I can't! MICKEY: Why, because you're better than us? ROSE: No, I didn't mean that. But it was. It was a better life. And I don't mean all the travelling and seeing aliens and spaceships and things. That don't matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life. You know he showed you too. That you don't just give up. You don't just let things happen. You make a stand. You say no. You have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away

Rose didn't hate the domestic, everyday life. She hated how life had no meaning.

She hated how people let things happen to them, without challenging anything or standing up for anything. She didn't want to travel as much as she wanted to live, to be something and do something with her life.

And that's the magic of Doctor Who, particularly RTD's era. Because you can be amazing and you can have meaning even without the Doctor, but the Doctor shows you how.

You stand up for what you believe is right and you choose to give meaning to what you do in life. You don't need to travel the stars to do that. You can make choices that give your life meaning right here and now. You can believe in something. You can find meaning in your place in the universe. You can give your enthusiasm and time to something that is important. Meaning and purpose comes from how we see the world, and that change in perspective is what Rose finds with the Doctor.

If Rose is with someone who can fill her life with meaning, who inspires her to see life as a beautiful adventure, then it really doesn't matter what she's doing with them. In The Impossible Planet, Rose was completely willing to settle down with Ten to "find a planet, get a job, live a life, same as the rest of the universe." Why? Because she'd be with him.

ROSE: This lot said they'd give us a lift. DOCTOR: And then what? ROSE: I don't know. Find a planet, get a job, live a life, same as the rest of the universe.

If I imagine Tentoo as a dad, I can't help but imagine him like Tennant himself. Kind, giving, selfless, and loving. I think Tentoo would be so afraid of letting someone hurt his child, because he hasn't had a family in so long, and he isn't the same man he was in those ancient days when, as a completely different man, he had a family.

He's a man still afraid of himself, still keenly aware of the inhuman things he's capable of. I think this fear would drive Rose and him closer together, like it did when he was Nine. But Tentoo is more self-aware now, more willing to grow and change and be different. Because he's the Doctor who was given a second chance, to live the life he thought he'd never have with the person he loves. He wants to be different to make this work.

I also think Tentoo would be the Doctor who passes on his title after he's gone. Not that I like to think about Tentoo dying one day, but let's be real: Where would his TARDIS go? As a half-human, I think Tentoo could imagine Mia taking on the role of Defender of the Earth when he and Rose have passed on. She would have been there to see it grow, and she would have been there when Tentoo and Rose first stepped out into the stars with this brand-new TARDIS. Because of his mortality, I think it would make Tentoo more open to sharing the secret, sacred things of his Gallifreyan people with the family he chose to start. He's not alone anymore, he has someone to share it with, someone who will pass it on after him and keep the world safe in his stead.

Which is all to say, I think it's a gift that Rose has the Meta-Crisis. Because when Ten regenerated and became, as he said, a completely different man, she was able to stay with the person she fell in love with and explore what that life was like, to have him with her for all of her life, and all of his.

[rahuratna]

I finished watching JJK Season 2 Ep. 18, and it is literally not okay. I take foreverrrr when I watch a new series because I *have to* savor every moment of it. Anyways, I finished Ep. 17 on July 2, so I purposely prolonged the next episode until after Nanami’s birthday since I knew what was going to happen but ended up procrastinating longer than intended…

I’m in literal tears right now and won’t sleep well for the next three nights. This is like the hardest I’ve ever cried for a character in forever 😭 😭

Can we discuss everything Nanami talked about on that episode? I’m sorry if I’m not clear in explaining my thoughts, the enormity of the loss of a fictional man feels incredibly real. I need more closure, and I am going to be rereading your fics too after for some much needed comfort ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Nanami expressed his exhaustion. He was so tired. He wanted to go to Malaysia and read the books he meant to read but never had the time for. Instead he chose to “[come] back over some vague reason like a job worth doing.” Here he was confiding to Haibara about his purpose, one of the biggest motifs in JJK. It feels so raw and human, how Nanami has such simple and peaceful desires but he chose to give them up without a clear reason. Did he regret it? Did Nanami have a fulfilling life? Did he sacrifice too much?

(Speaking of regrets, have you watched Attack on Titan? It’s such a big theme in that show and I can’t help but draw parallels.)

Even though he said that he did enough (more than enough I believe), he followed this up with wondering how Fushiguro and Maki and Naobito were doing. It’s like an oxymoron. The implications here… I’m actually not okay 🥹. I think this means he had fulfilled his role as a jujutsu sorcerer, but it wasn’t enough to save all of his friends. He’d always continue to look out for them. Nanami cares so much and wants to protect them, and I think this answers my first question: he didn’t regret it in the end because he did the best he could. I don’t want to come off as overlooking all of Nanami’s losses and setbacks… I just want to know if Nanami’s fulfillment, his search for his enough, outweighed all of his sacrifices. That’s the closure I’m looking for.

Rest in peace, Nanami. I wish I could tell him that he was more than enough and beyond everything we could ever ask for. I learned so much from his character, and without him, I wouldn’t have such wonderful discussions with wonderful people. 💙💙🕊️🏝️

Oh my God, that episode destroyed me. I also had to take some time to process what had happened to a character who I genuinely loved and admired so much.

I think what hurts the most is that Nanami had such simple desires. He wanted to live his simple life and enjoy little pleasures, but his desire to protect and serve others, the way his heart was all-encompassing of these few people he cared about, really led him down a different path. He cared about the world. He cared about the younger generation. He cared about his colleagues and friends and he was such a kind and genuine person. This is what makes his death all the harder to cope with.

I also wondered, for so long, why the reasons surrounding his return to being a sorcerer were so vague. The part where he expresses how 'exhausted' he was was very significant to me. The flashbacks to his time as a salaryman, and also the way he deals with Haibara's death, show a common theme. He was always tired. Tired of having to live in a world where selfishness and greed is rewarded, tired of having to run in a meaningless rat race to achieve the small peace he so desired, exhausted by all the burdens placed on the shoulders of jujutsu sorcerers, on HIS shoulders.

What you mentioned really is the answer. He was exhausted, but for a much longer time than just in the scene leading up to his death. In that scene, he asks 'haven't I done enough?' in a way that's heartbreakingly plaintive, and to me, almost childlike in its simplicity. Yes, he'd done more than enough. He knew it. And yet, his own conscience, his own body, would not let him run from duty, from the people who he felt needed him.

If the timing has been slightly different, maybe Yuuji arriving earlier, or Nanami missing Mahito, then we could speculate on what may have occurred. Maybe he would have survived, if badly injured. Maybe he would have retired and found the life he always wanted. But his duty to the world of sorcery, since his life was empty of true purpose, would probably always have sucked him back in.

On the question of regret, I know exactly what you mean. There's too much for me to put in one post, but I will say this. The only occasions when Nanami appeared truly at peace, or when he actually smiled, were occasions when he was in mortal danger (like being trapped in Mahito's domain in their second fight at the school). When he takes his glasses off and remains so cool, looks so peaceful even, he says that he has no regrets, because he chose to live a life where he could use his skills to help people. He says that their gratitude is all he needs, implying that he defines himself by how much he can help others.

I think, at the end, that Nanami's exhausted plea was the cry of a human being, as if to a parent or deity. Why me? Why do I have to suffer like this? Everyone asks that question at some point. In his case, he answers that immediately by wondering about the safety of the others. I do think that Nanami would have wanted, desperately, that peaceful life for himself. I think he would have, as an ordinary man, harbored resentment and questioned why he had to give up so much for a corrupt and greed-driven world. What he didn't regret was saving the people who he cared about, the people who inhabit that world, and that thought gives me some peace. 🧡🧡💛💛

I have watched AoT, so let me know your thoughts about sacrifice, too, and the parallels you draw. I'd love to hear them!

[pengweng-quack]

Being a Witch with Vampires

Carlisle Cullen x Witch!OC

Summary: Stella (A witch) and Carlisle (A vampire), and how they blossomed from roommates to friends(?) to partners

Chapter 5/7

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7

Notes:

This was inspired by this fanfic on tumblr by lis-likes-fics titled "In My Defense, I Was Left Unsupervised"

This is also on Ao3 under the same title and same username too if you'd like to read it there (https://archiveofourown.org/works/53448940)

Posting is random lol, hope you guys enjoy this story

The end of Being a Witch with Vampires is nearing, thank you for all the support that you've given for this series, you are all appreciated beyond words! <3

Word Count: 2774 words

TW for this chapter: Blood mentions

Timeline: Breaking Dawn

Masterlist

“We’re home.” Carlisle announced, walking in the house with the other Cullens. Bella and Jacob shared one look at each other, realizing that they wouldn’t be able to hide it, especially with Edward’s abilities

“Where’s Stella?” Edward asked loudly. Bella and Jacob looked at each other, they knew that he knew her disappearance already

“She said she’ll be staying in our room.” Carlisle answered with confidence. And that broke Bella’s heart. This was what happened to Stella years ago, with her confidence high knowing she’ll be going home to someone, only for it to crumble.

“She’s not here.” Jasper said, looking at Carlisle and Stella’s room

“What do you know?” Edward asked Jacob, grabbing the collar of his shirt

“She had to leave.” Jacob answered, knowing he had no way out “Didn’t tell us anything.”

“I can’t see into Stella’s future anymore either.” Alice said, trying to do another vision but it causing just a headache

“She’s blocking her thoughts as well.” Edward added

Because of Stella's absence, the Cullens were even more stressed. Everyone understood, though, that Carlisle was the most affected of all. It felt like a payment for leaving her a while back, an overdue one, but still was a payment.

“Still nothing?” Carlisle quietly asked Alice as she shook her head no

The Cullens didn’t know what Stella’s reason of leaving was. But they hope that it was for a good cause. Carlisle continued reading on every scripture that he and Stella has collected over the years, distracting himself from Stella’s continuous absence.

~~

Stella has quickly made her way to her old home in Italy, the place where she lost her freedom and regained it at once. She walked up to the door and knocked, knowing that it was still Sam that owned the house.

“Who’s— Stella?” Sam asked, opening the door. It was obvious on his face that he was shocked seeing her again. Especially when it has been almost 300 years since they last saw each other

“Hi.” Stella greeted politely before he greeted her back with a hug, whispering his ‘I miss you’s’ to her

“Are you—

“Sam, no.” Stella called at once as she enters the place that she once called home, it was left the same as how it was when she left. She remembered that night like the palm of her hand. How could she forget anyways?

It was the place where Carlisle has saved her from her initial fate.

“Right.” Sam realized, a disappointed smile on his face

Stella immediately rushed to the library, scanning through books that could possibly help with Bella. She had one glimpse of a book that discussed about how witches affected vampires, so she decided to grab that and put it in a separate stack away from the books that could help Bella’s case.

“Why are you back?” Sam asked, resting on the doorframe and watching her grab piles and piles of books from the library

“I needed the library.” Stella answered immediately, using her magic to grab any book that mentioned a human-vampire relationship

“I thought…never mind.” Sam started before shutting his mouth

Stella decided to have a chat with Sam once and for all. For the proper closure he needed. It was wrong of her to leave him in the middle of the night all those decades ago, but she wanted to be selfish of her own happiness. Choose what she knows will make her happy with her life.

And that was with Carlisle.

“Sam.” Stella called, he immediately looked at her

“I owe you an apology.” She continued, going closer to him and facing him

“Can I ask you a question?” Sam asked, Stella nodded immediately “Does the vampire treat you right? Are you happy with him?”

“The happiest I know I will be.” Stella answered earnestly, remembering Carlisle and his ways of making her happy

“Then I’m happy.” Sam said, a genuine smile on his face, grabbing her hand and squeezing it softly “No need to apologize for choosing your happiness.”

“I’m sorry.” Stella repeated “You didn’t deserve to be left like that. I really just wanted the freedom that Carlisle offered to me.”

“I know.” He simply responded

“I used the guidance, asking if there were any chance that you will come back. The guidance told me no, it told me that you were destined for more than what a simple witch life will offer to you. That was the reason why you were made the strongest among us all.” Sam explained, making Stella look at him

“You used the guidance?” Stella asked, Sam nodded immediately

“It was tough learning it, and scary.” He added to his answer

“I’ve only asked the guidance for two things: if there were any chance that you will come back, and if I had a chance of getting my own happiness. Greatly weakened me, those two.” Sam continued, scoffing lightly at himself “I couldn’t use any type of magic for a while after doing it.”

It was a huge realization on what she needed to do, a branch of magic she never wanted to study. But, her family needs this. Her family needs her to be brave.

For her family.

“Mind if you teach me?”

~~

Stella landed in front of the Cullens after leaving for over a week. She was anxious in seeing them again but she knew that what she did was for a good cause. Walking up to the door, she knocked on it, waiting for someone to open it.

“Stella, you’re back.” Jacob said, opening the door and letting her in

“I got some reading on Bella’s case.” She announced, entering the house

Carlisle’s head popped up from the kitchen, and was about to ask Jacob on who was on the door. His face showed shock with Stella being back, he didn’t know how to properly react. But she knew something about Bella’s case, he would be damned if he doesn’t welcome her back

Not that he could even think of shunning her away.

“What is it?” Jacob asked

“Blood. Bella needs blood.” Stella answered before Carlisle fully walked near them

“What do you mean?” Carlisle asked

“The baby in Bella is taking a lot of Bella’s blood, she needs to get blood from another source.” Stella explained immediately, grabbing her bag and pulling a blood bag

“Your blood.” Carlisle said once he’s had a scent of the blood. Stella saw how Carlisle closed his eyes and turned his head away, trying to stop the scent of her blood from influencing his next decisions

“It’s not gonna do anything to her, blood’s too old for that. I decided to try it out with my own blood first, seeing as me and Bella had the same blood type too.” Stella explained, grabbing a bottle with a straw and dripping the blood in it “A witch’s blood is sweeter than human blood. She needs to get used to the blood’s feeling first before switching to a human blood.”

“I’m gonna be sick.” Jacob said, moving further away from the two

“I suggest you get used to this.” Stella said, before walking fast to where Bella was, Carlisle trailing behind her

“Stella, you’re back.” Bella weakly called, trying to plaster a smile

“Oh dear.” Stella said, seeing Bella’s case “You look—

“Like I’m gonna die, I know.” Bella continued for her, a sad smile on her face

“Take this.” Stella ordered softly, sitting next to her and offering a straw “It’s a witch’s blood.”

“Her blood, in particular.” Carlisle added, kind of assuring Bella

Bella drank from the straw. It was a horrifying sight, but she was willing to go to any length to keep Bella alive. Even breaking the pledge that she made to herself

She eventually began to drink more, slowly finishing the entire glass. The sight astounded Carlisle, Bella appeared to be in better health than before, and he felt that things would be easier now that Stella had returned with newfound knowledge. After all, she is his clever and confident witch.

“Stella?” Edward asked, entering the house just after a hunt. Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett behind him with curious and shocked looks on their faces

“Bella needs to get blood from another source. The baby in her is taking all the blood that she could have.” Carlisle explained to them “Stella found it from her readings.”

“What she’s drinking now is my blood but left out in the open for a few days, if you’re confused with the scent.” Stella explained to them “A witch’s blood is sweeter than a human blood. What we’re just gonna do is to get her used to the texture of the blood before switching to a human blood.”

“How many bags of your blood do you still have?” Carlisle asked Stella

“I have three more.” Stella answered calmly

“So, are we not gonna talk about how Stella just left and came back like it was nothing?” Rosalie asked. Stella stared at Rosalie and realized that her quick departure had betrayed her the most, but she had no choice. She had to do everything she could to help Bella, especially because Carlisle was just as uninformed as the rest of them.

“I had to return to Italy, where I had left most of my books, and I wanted to know whether any of them mentioned a vampire-human kid and how the mother can survive.” Stella explained to them “I’m sorry for leaving without some sort of goodbye, but I know you all will not let me go if I tell you that I’m leaving for Italy.”

She went in front of Rosalie and opened her arms for a hug. Rosalie quickly rushed in for the hug, missing the mother figure that she’s had ever since her transition to vampire. The others joined in the hug, all mentioning their wishes that she doesn’t do something like that ever again.

Carlisle learned from too many late-night chats with Stella that she never wanted to return to Italy since the only nice thing that came out of it was him. He felt something stir in him when Stella decided to take lead in this moment where he had little knowledge.

Suddenly, them being together made perfect sense.

~~

“Stella, help!” Edward called in distress. Stella rushed in, seeing Bella be the most fragile thing there is in the room

“Have you injected the syringe?” Stella asked and he quickly nodded

“Where’s Carlisle?” She asked again, watching as Edward starts doing chest compressions on her

“Outside, they’re fighting off the wolves.” He answered, biting all skin available in hopes that she had just enough time for her transition from man to vampire

Stella rushed out, seeing her family fight off wolves, she pushed one away from Alice with her magic before hearing the shapeshifter’s thoughts

‘The witch is mine’ one wolf ordered to the others, before a pure black wolf attacked her, pulling her by her shoulders

“No!” She heard Carlisle yelled, quickly punching the wolf attacking him and rushing to where she was. Seth attacked the black wolf, helping Stella get composure and tie the black wolf with red ropes from her magic.

Carlisle pulled Stella near him, not wanting to be separated from her. They moved to be near the house, doing everything in their power to fend off the wolves against Bella.

They were outnumbered. Stella looked at Carlisle, hoping that this wouldn’t be their end. If they were attacking this aggressively, it meant one thing.

Bella was dead.

Stella being distracted from Bella’s death had gotten her to be dragged away by a wolf, throwing her into the depths of the forest, hitting her back into one of the trees. She winced in pain but decided to stand up and fight from behind. She started flicking her hands, throwing the wolves just as they had thrown her.

One attacked behind her, pushing her to the front of the vampires, she was sure that something in her was bleeding. Carlisle helped her up, she was wincing from the pain. Jacob was in front in his wolf form, he was intimidating the wolves.

“Jacob imprinted. They can’t hurt her.” Edward announced to everyone

“Whoever a wolf imprints on can’t be harmed.” He continued, a look of relief on his face “It’s their most absolute law.”

~~

“Da columbam albam si spes nulla est (give the white dove if there is no hope).” Stella chanted over a small white candle

“Duce, mea numina (give me guidance, my gods).” Stella prayed again, closing her eyes and murmuring the same two spells two more times before blowing the candle out

“Your forbidden spells.” Carlisle said, hearing her chant in Latin

“Carlisle.” Stella called in shock. She had planned to hide it from him for as long as possible.

“Since when?” Carlisle asked, sitting next to her

“When I left, I knew that I had to learn it. For Bella.” Stella explained

“But you said before that you feared using that in fear of using the guidance instead of accepting the consequences.” Carlisle said

“And let her die?” Stella asked “I know my limitations. And I know that you’ll help me with controlling my desire too.”

“When I came back to Italy, Sam was still there.” Stella started, getting Carlisle’s full attention. He moved to sit next to her, scared that this will be one of the last moments that he’ll be with her

“What happened?” Carlisle asked. He was scared to hear whatever was gonna be her answer, because it could lead into him losing his mate

“He went and hugged me, thinking that I was coming back for him.” Stella said lowly “I told him that it wasn’t my purpose there.”

“What happened next?” Carlisle asked

“When I went home, I did some reading. Not just on Bella’s case. But also, on witches’ mates.” Stella answered

“If a vampire were to offer themselves to a witch, a witch could go and deny them. But not because of not wanting them like I have been taught all my life.” Stella explained to Carlisle

“What is it then?” Carlisle asked

“If a witch does accept the vampire’s offer, the witch and a vampire will then be bonded. Your pain becomes my pain and my pain becomes your pain.” She continued; Carlisle was still not understanding what was the meaning of what she was saying

“If anything happens to you, it will only be a short matter of time until something fatal happens to me.” She explained “The reason why witches deny the vampires is because they know that vampires are easy to kill. No witch is strong enough to accept that their life will end after their mate dies.”

“Do you think that it’s a big deal?” Carlisle asked quietly

“I want you to live after my death.” Stella answered, the thought of Carlisle dying when she dies haunting her. Her accepting his offer to be his mate would be a life sentence for him

“Do…do you think that I’ll be able to live a life without you in it?” Carlisle asked quietly as Stella wept from the possibilities of her death causing an end to his as well

“I cannot ask you to do that for me.” She murmured “They will need you; you know that.”

“I need you.” Carlisle said almost immediately “I need you to know just how much I’m willing to be yours.”

Carlisle softly grabbed Stella face, wiping all of the tear marks off her face. Before pulling her for a soft kiss. Stella wasn’t a master with words, but the emotions that Carlisle felt during their kiss made him understand just how much she needed him too.

Carlisle understood now, that if he were to offer Stella to be his mate, that she would accept wholeheartedly.

He wanted it done soon.

No

He wanted it done now.

“I’m yours, mi amor. All yours.” Carlisle softly announced to her

“You own all of me. Even before you had the thought of loving me.” Carlisle continued, rubbing his nose against Stella’s nose

“I’m all yours to love. All yours to live with. All yours to be with for an eternity. I’m all yours.”

Carlisle pulled her for another kiss, but this time it was softer. And calmer, but so, so filled with love.

It was right when they say that they’ve waited far too long for this.

“I love you.” Stella whispered as she pulled away from the kiss

“I love you more.” Carlisle answered back immediately, cupping her cheeks as he plants kisses all over her face

[kerakeriza]

If someone you knew wanted to start reading Damian wayne where would you recommend for them to start? 🎤🎤

FIRST!!! you NEED to read batman: son of the demon (1987). this will give you the understanding you need of bruce, talia, their relationship, and also ra's. the fact it hasn't been canon since the 90s doesn't matter because it's still the best book about bruce and the ghul family you will ever read.

then... you may cautiously proceed to batman #656 (2006), while keeping in mind that talia is so wildly ooc that it makes me want to pluck my own eyeballs out of my skull. keep reading until #658, then you can stop because damian disappears for a while after that.

you can read batman #666 if you want to (it's set in an alternate future universe), but damian is bald in it. :( you should probably read it anyway though lol.

next, go on to batman annual #26 (2007). this is the start of the resurrection of ra's al ghul--the arc is good and all, but ra's is so unbelievably ooc that i again want to pluck out my own eyeballs. damian is adorable in it, though, so do read it. but he talks a lot more casually than he's supposed to, that's all you need to keep in mind. (at this point in his character development, he's still the epitome of "spoiled prince," and talks exactly how you'd expect a spoiled prince to talk.)

go through the rest of the resurrection of ra's al ghul after that -- robin annual #7, batman #670, robin #168, nightwing #138, detective comics #838, batman #671, robin #169, nightwing #139, detective comics #839. (please note that the nightwing issues specifically write damian the best, in my opinion. fabian nicieza is one of my FAVORITE damian writers! you know, besides morrison, since morrison created him and all. paul dini is also a huge favorite of mine btw.)

after that, you can go ahead and read batman #675, #680, and #681 (2008).

skip battle for the cowl because you won't really get anything good from reading that lol. long story short: everybody fights for no reason and dick becomes batman and damian becomes robin.

move onto batman and robin #1 (2009). just read it all of it! (the new earth universe finishes at #26 i believe, then new 52 starts.) it's all really good. i also recommend reading all of red robin (2009) and batgirl (2009), damian doesn't show up in every issue but he shows up quite a lot, and regardless, they're just really good books!

you also need to read batman: streets of gotham (2009). again, read all of it, INCLUDING the manhunter specials at the back of the book! damian shows up in those sometimes. :)

also... batman annual #27 (2009) and the other half of its story in detective comics annual #11 (2009).

then, read batman: li'l gotham for some fun fluff. :)

another must-read is supergirl #61 - #64 (2011).

also, teen titans #89 (2011). just read from #89 - #92, then come back around #99 - #100 for maximum damian. it's a pretty good series regardless though.

(one more thing: batman #700 and #703.)

as for new 52, you can keep reading the batman and robin series. but even more importantly, i think you should check out batman: the dark knight (2012) #10 - #15. it's one of my absolute favorite stories between bruce and damian.

besides that, i haven't read a lot of new52 comics, even though i should... or much at all beyond new52, either... but i did read super sons, and i can highly recommend that whole series!

gotham academy #6 and #7 are also super cute new52, sort of AU stories, damian features in those issues and he's adorable and well-written, if you ask me.

so that's where i'd tell you to start! there's way more that even i still need to read, but i'm so bitter about new52 and rebirth in general that it takes me a while to even want to pick up a book from the modern era.

edit: while you could read the batman/tmnt comics featuring damian, i actually recommend just watching the movie they made based on those comics. it's REALLY good.

[skaruresonic]

what were your favorite things about starline before he was ruined

Oh, God, Starline. ;A; How I miss the poor bastard.

Beyond his design, my favorite things about him included his foppishness, his showmanship, his meticulousness, his (relative) calm demeanor, his "comedic intern" angle, and his devotion to licking egg-shaped boot.

Oh, and the most prominent aspect of his character, the linchpin on which all else rests: the simpery.

I will give credit where credit is due, his simpery of Eggman coupled with his more cautious and lowkey nature (at least, compared to Eggman) offered a genuinely new and refreshing dynamic at the time. It didn't seem to come with strings attached as it usually does.

I also used to like his penchant for unintentional comedy. It seemed to be the same flavor of comedy with which they tinge some of Eggman's character.

Granted, Starline was probably always meant to be something of a buttmonkey, but later issues had him ping-pong between being Better Than Eggman(tm) and a buffoon. The constant switch made it difficult to fully invest in him in either case, because one minute we were meant to consider him a srs bsns mastermind and laugh at his failures the next. And not in the balanced way Eggman's humor generates; there were times I genuinely couldn't tell whether we were supposed to root for him or not.

And then, of course, he got crushed under rocks. Big oofed.

Starline used to be funny. Watching him rant and rave? Cry tears of joy? Make an uwu face as Rough and Tumble embarrass him in front of his idol? Funny, because it subverted his otherwise suave Bond villain image, and because you knew that eventually Eggman would crush his windpipe like a squeaky toy. Selling your soul to the devil can only end in tragedy. It filled you with a morbid sort of joy and a dark anticipation as you waited to see how bright this dumpster fire would blaze.

This was one pathetic meow-meow of a man, strange yet oddly compelling. Shame his delusions of grandeur stole away the entertaining aspects of his personality for a more boring, straight-laced character. Even bigger shame that we were supposed to pretend he never meant anything to begin with.

That's not to say Starline could never have had character development, nor that he should have remained a static character. Just as Sonic exerts a positive influence on others, show us how Eggman exerts a twisted influence. Make Starline's devotion to Eggman even unhealthier and fucked-up than it already was. Not in a "I can fix you" kind of way, but in an "I will light myself on fire to keep you warm" kind of way. To the point of self-destruction. That seemed to be the logical direction for such a character, anyway.

But nah, they had to drag us along Starline's unimpressive journey to strike out on his own. Which, like... He stole 90% of Eggman's shit anyway, so how effective was he really? And even if the whole point was that Eggman made him and he's nothing without his idol, then why did the book give him two mini-series? Has he been mentioned even once in the book since his death? Somehow, I very much doubt it.

I don't want to get into it with his creation of Surge and Kit because I'd rather pretend they don't exist, thanks. Yes, I'm aware Starline was originally conceived as their creator, but I think Flynn should have caught on that his character had changed. Realized that trying to cram him back into the original mold would only break him.

And you know what. Even after having suffered 30 issues where Starline was fucking insufferable with his whole "I'll surpass Eggman" schtick, I still felt sad for his passing.

To make matters worse, I felt foolish for my emotional investment, because dammit, I guess I was hoping his story would have culminated in something more substantial than "his favorite flowers are forget-me-nots (snicker)."

Now that I've learned that IDW can drop even their most popular characters in a heartbeat, I'm never making the mistake of even accidentally becoming invested in them again. They're not going to bother developing them or even give them a proper sendoff, so why should I continue reading?

Fs in the chat for my boy. They did him so dirty.

[vivacissimx]

On Lyanna's crypt statue

Having many Winterfell crypts thoughts of late, but did want to theorize about the possible unintended results of the break-in-procedure that Ned committed when he had statues made for his siblings Brandon & Lyanna:

"And there's my grandfather, Lord Rickard, who was beheaded by Mad King Aerys. His daughter Lyanna and his son Brandon are in the tombs beside him. Not me, another Brandon, my father's brother. They're not supposed to have statues, that's only for the lords and the kings, but my father loved them so much he had them done." [AGOT, Bran VII]

Yes, bittersweet, however also wanted to touch on this in the face of Winterfell being partially a necropolis (the crypts are larger than the entire castle!), and how Lyanna having this effigy relates to her presence through the books. We actually meet Lyanna through that very crypt statue (Ned leads Robert down to pay respects) and the gravesite symbolizes a final rejection of Robert when he says he would have buried her on a hill, outside, beneath a fruit tree and the sun only for Ned to remind him that she wanted to "rest beside Brandon and Father." Immediately, she's an active presence. During this visit, Ned feels that the dead are watching & even speaking to him. He sees the empty grave where he will be buried. He acknowledges that this is "his place."

This is the last time Ned visits the crypts before his death. Aside, I think that's interesting because while Ned's physical remains are a point of contention it's implied that Maester Luwin commissions a statue of him prior to dying, so we can assume that even if his tomb is forever empty, Ned Stark will still have a place in the crypts. That does connect to the point I'm making, that the crypts of Winterfell are less important as a gravesite than as a living site of memory.

Bran and Rickon live in the crypts during Winterfell's occupation & we know they interact with the Rickard/Brandon/Lyanna area because they take Brandon's sword (it's absence later noted by Barbrey). This is also when Bran communicates with Jon beyond the Wall:

He could reach Summer whenever he wanted, and once he had even touched Ghost and talked to Jon. Though maybe he had only dreamed that. [ACOK Bran VII]

-

[Jon as Ghost during a wolf dream] sniffed at the bark, smelled wolf and tree and boy, but behind that there were other scents, the rich brown smell of warm earth and the hard grey smell of stone and something else, something terrible. Death, he knew. He was smelling death. He cringed back, his hair bristling, and bared his fangs. Don't be afraid, I like it in the dark. No one can see you, but you can see them. But first you have to open your eyes. See? Like this. And the tree reached down and touched him. [ACOK Jon VII]

How did Bran do that? This is a conscious dreamsharing sequence we don't see again in the series. I dunno if it has anything to do with Lyanna at all but we know the dead are always watching, that they're present in the connection between Jon & Bran, and more importantly, that Winterfell's dead have been in Jon's dream before. As he recounts to Sam, he has a recurring nightmare about the crypts:

I find myself in front of the door to the crypts. It's black inside, and I can see the steps spiraling down. Somehow I know I have to go down there, but I don't want to. I'm afraid of what might be waiting for me. The old Kings of Winter are down there, sitting on their thrones with stone wolves at their feet and iron swords across their laps, but it's not them I'm afraid of. I scream that I'm not a Stark, that this isn't my place, but it's no good, I have to go anyway, so I start down, feeling the walls as I descend, with no torch to light the way. [AGOT Jon VI]

-

He dreamt he was back in Winterfell, limping past the stone kings on their thrones. Their grey granite eyes turned to follow him as he passed, and their grey granite fingers tightened on the hilts of the rusted swords upon their laps. You are no Stark, he could hear them mutter, in heavy granite voices. There is no place for you here. Go away. [...] Up above he heard drums. They are feasting in the Great Hall, but I am not welcome there. I am no Stark, and this is not my place. His crutch slipped and he fell to his knees. The crypts were growing darker. A light has gone out somewhere. "Ygritte?" he whispered. "Forgive me. Please." But it was only a direwolf, grey and ghastly, spotted with blood, his golden eyes shining sadly through the dark [ASOS Jon VIII]

The Lyanna connection to all this is clear. There's something in the crypts waiting for him but it's not the Kings of Winter—that narrows it down a bit then!

Ned wasn't supposed to give Lyanna a statue, but she asked to be buried there, and he did, and now Jon has dreams of something reaching out to him. Bran possibly hitches onto this line to speak to Jon. Before Ned died, he also dreamed of Lyanna's statue reaching out to him:

He was walking through the crypts beneath Winterfell, as he had walked a thousand times before. The Kings of Winter watched him pass with eyes of ice, and the direwolves at their feet turned their great stone heads and snarled. Last of all, he came to the tomb where his father slept, with Brandon and Lyanna beside him. "Promise me, Ned," Lyanna's statue whispered. [AGOT Ned XIII]

Staying on Jon's crypt dreams however, I've talked about this somewhere before but ACOK Theon shares Jon's ASOS crypt dream, albeit from a different angle. Jon is in the crypts but Theon is at the feast upstairs. As in life, Jon is not welcome at Robert's welcoming feast, while Theon technically is. Both of their dreams end with Grey Wind appearing.

But there were others with faces he had never known in life, faces he had seen only in stone. The slim, sad girl who wore a crown of pale blue roses and a white gown spattered with gore could only be Lyanna. Her brother Brandon stood beside her, and their father Lord Rickard just behind. Along the walls figures half-seen moved through the shadows, pale shades with long grim faces. The sight of them sent fear shivering through Theon sharp as a knife. And then the tall doors opened with a crash, and a freezing gale blew down the hall, and Robb came walking out of the night. Grey Wind stalked beside, eyes burning, and man and wolf alike bled from half a hundred savage wounds. [ACOK Theon V]

And who is present in Theon's dream? Lyanna. The face he's only ever seen in stone. Because she has a statue in Winterfell's crypts.

Which brings us to three people who've specifically had Lyanna's crypt statue haunt their dreams. That statue which is an anomaly and shouldn't exist. It makes me wonder. Wonder if Ned didn't do a little something there.

[a-teardrop-of-the-sun]

thank you @starweed for the tag!!

rules?

answer and tag nine people you want to get to know better/catch up with

fav color?

ultramarine blue, or any dark nearly-purpling blue! but i think the blue of forget-me-nots is also breathtaking

last song?

a bunch of stuff off the longest johns' most recent album since i just saw their show – 'shawneetown' and 'skadi's hammer' are the ones i've been going back to most

last movie?

greta gerwig's little women – been meaning to watch it for YEARS since it was one of my favourite childhood books and FINALLY got around to it, and liked it so much i watched it straight through a second time immediately after!

currently reading?

literally 400+ books all at once like always, just junebugging between them wherever the mood takes me. the ones that are new reads, not counting the rereads i've also got going, include: - pretty monsters by kelly link (loveeeee her short horror stories) - return to nevèryön series by samuel r. delaney - shadi bartsch's AMAZING translation of the aeneid - the genesis of misery by neon yang - death in irish prehistory by one of my long-time scholarly crushes, gabriel cooney (a must-read if the archaeology of funerary practices and/or irish prehistory are your things, it's one of the best-done scholarly/public education works i've ever read) - beyond the frost-cold sea by madeline crane

currently watching?

basically everything on dropout because i think i'm the platonic ideal of their target audience. other than that whatever strikes my fancy in the moment; the only things i'm sort of pursuing to watch the good episodes of are the classic twilight zone and star trek (starting on next gen right now, will work my way thru the rest)

currently craving?

i'm actually not craving anything right now because my lovely wife just made some delicious kale sauce pasta (one of my favourites) for dinner! been a lil sick so not much of an appetite anyways since i haven't been as active this weekend

tea or coffee?

tea in terms of the sheer quantity i drink and its wide applicability to wake me up or make me sleepy or just taste good! it's versatile and delicious and frankly one of the best human inventions. coffee is what i drink when work/fatigue is bad enough that i need a kick in the head to wake up properly, but tea is where my heart lies

tags!!

@deangirldisease

@werewolfetone

@yeehawpoorcryptid

@chierchiae

@eflatminorseven

@whovianuncle

@rjinni

@rabarbermupp

@softhoursactivated

& everyone else who wants to do one!

[fagcrisis]

i am asking abt funerals. my starwars knowledge is tiny but my interest in fictional funerals is large please do tell

THIS GOT INCREDIBLY LONG I APOLOGIZE

okayokayokay. i actually had multiple extremely long posts about this on my old blog but theyre like lost media (unless some of my old star wars mutuals have them but i think only like, nick and lucky remain)

coruscant is the capital city of the galactic republic in star wars, and i mean that literally, because the entire planet down to the core and up to the very border of the atmosphere it is a city. it was originally inhabited by zhells and taungs, the latter being the spiritual (if not biological) ancestors of the mandalorians, who lay claim to the planet city because of this connection and its the cause of their conflict with the republic. stream vode an

theres a criminal lack of stories that utilize the incredible potential coruscant has (in my humble opinion), save for one legends book i havent read and a level in a game i havent played. i think coruscant being the melting pot for the entire galaxy's cultures and species could create really interesting areas and conflicts that would be worth exploring if star wars was good instead of very bad (except for andor). i also had a series of posts theorizing about different districts having humidity controlled and even flooded districts, areas where the air is not filled with oxygen and so on. me and @katschipper have an oc named kees, they're an ex jedi turned pizza delivery guy and i would also love to talk more about him and the conflicts and such he encounters (id also love to write things with him but we cant have everything im a busy man)

so anyway now that you have context. coruscant is a planet city with either trillions (canon) or one trillion (legends) inhabitants. law enforcement is shown to be ineffective at the best of times, and straight up replaced with jedi in some cases (you should ask me about my thoughts on this also) and even if they were effective, acab. crime and poverty run rampant through the city, housing is a nightmare, healthcare is basically nonexistent in the lower levels, the corpse per hour ratio must be INSANE. where the fuck do they put all the corpses

we very rarely see funerals in star wars, and save for a few theyre almost all jedi funerals. the jedi also have interesting funerary rites you should ALSO ask me about, by the way, and ive heard there is a great funeral scene in andor but ive yet to watch andor (im on it guys). the only funeral that actually takes place on coruscant that i know of, is in the clone wars and it's a jedi funeral. so beyond this point is purely headcanon zone

because on coruscant social standing is extremely linearly tied to the levels, i came up with two main places where people are laid to rest.

the first is necropolis districts. because coruscant originally was just a planet like any other, populated by the ancestors of humanoid species and more specifically mandalorians im assuming (based on my knowledge of mandalorian funerary rites, also super interesting, ask me about that) that some sort of mass grave situation must have been going on as that is how mandalorians bury their dead. after the taungs left and the city gradually enveloped more and more of the continents and eventually oceans, having cemetaries in every city must have become incredibly ineffective with the amount of dead

coruscant is comprised of levels that are split into districts. the lowest levels of the city are not officially inhabited, haunted by strange creatures and PROBABLY RADIATION ASK ME ABOUT NUCLEAR CORUSCANT. i think on every level there must exist one, if not more funeral district, a necropolis spanning half a continent housing more dead than the level has people. sanitation has to be on POINT in a city of this size, and due to space restrictions people cannot afford to not burn their dead. that is a right reserved only to the richest of the rich, just as sunlight and breathable air is. because coruscant is repeatedly shown to be a hypercapitalist society, taking inspiration from cyberpunk media (aka really weirdly orientalist i could also talk about this for ages) i'm assuming a space for the ashes of a loved one, or even a nameplate you can bring flowers to, is a luxury few can afford. the industry around death is massive with necropolis districts being surrounded on all sides by generations of families who have made their living off the funerary industry. funeral districts are not solemn, quite the opposite, bustling with life and new corpse deliveries to the incineration rooms every hour.

a moderately well off person living close enough to the surface to be able to dream of seeing the sky one day only has to start worrying about their final resting place probably around the time they retire, but for poorer families on the lower levels it is a constant worry just like making rent every day. diaspora species and cultures that require more complicated funerary rites have traditions that specifically grew around the restrictive laws of coruscant. ashes or the bodies of the desceased cannot be kept in the home, and being discovered with them after the allotted mourning time comes with a hefty fine or a long stay in a prison colony where your family will never get your body back from. certain workplaces offer insurance for your corpse up to 3 years after your death, so your family does not have to worry about the rent for your grave while they mourn, but obviously these jobs comes with a way higher risk of injury or death. when a child is born their parents have to consider where they will be buried. coruscant, the beating heart of the galaxy, is a planet obsessed with death.

as the skyscrapers of coruscants reach ever higher, and as the lower districts begin to be choked by their corpses the upper crust of coruscant must consider a new approach, and so as always, they turn to the sky

there are four naturally formed moons that orbit the planet, centax 1, 2 and 3 and Hesperidium. Centax one is a penal colony (also interesting but not relevant) 2 housed a jedi training facility for a bit and then palpatines weird ass legends bullshit, and 3 was blown up by the fucking yuuzhan vong i forgot that happened jesus christ star wars is stupid. the planet is also orbited by so many artificial moons and satellites to the point where direct entry to the athmospehere is a challenge and many ships just dock on stations around the planet and their passengers and cargo take shuttles to the surface.

i think there are maybe a dozen funeral stations orbiting coruscant taking away precious airspace from way more important things, where you can pick out of several options for your body after your death. these include being completely suspended in time, surgery on your barely cold body so you are even more beautiful and the people who visit the station (because im sure they do, its the weird ass shit rich people tend to do) can be jealous and marvel at how much better previous generations were. these stations are as much exhibitions of the wealth and power of the desceased, as places of mourning, if not more so.

if you really are rich, if your family has maintained their power and their money for enough generations, maybe you can be buried in real soil on centax 3 (before the yuuzhan vong blow it up) and brag about it to your less rich friends at parties, and list the benefits of natural decay to the environment, as you sip imported wine they made in the orphan crushing machine or something

regardless of social standing the obsession with death is rampant throughout coruscant and many people commit egregious crimes for their body to be disposed of exactly how they would like, even disregarding their actual life in the process. coruscanti movies and books and music are extremely concerned with the subject and many romance movies are about couples dying together on their own terms or someone attempting to bury their beloved according to their wishes. sanitation workers are somehwat demonized due to this. many parents wish their child would be born force sensitive, so they can be buried in the jedi temple with their body intact, instead of whatever fate they will have as a civilian. many of the pushback against the clone army when they were initially introduced to the public was due to the fact that many generations grew up romanticizing the warriors who fell in the mandalorian wars and were buried on other planets in real soil

its been a bit since i wrote star wars meta but man i fucking missed it! as always you are welcome to argue with me about any of the points brought up (in fact please do) and if youre interested in anything i mentioned here i love to talk about the version of star wars that lives in my head and is good instead of bad. i swear i will watch andor

[queerian]

time for another comfort re-read of the Imperial Radch books

starting with Ancillary Justice!

(also because after reading the Translation State ARC I have THINGS I must revisit and THINK about)

the more I read (rather, listen to, because I have the audiobooks until I can obtain a pretty box set of the series) Ann Leckie's books, the more I delight in how she writes abrasive characters who are also liked and loved.

You don’t have to be good and pleasant to be loved You don't have to fawn to be loved You can be stubborn and sulky and selfish and bitter and unhappy and still be loved You can be messed up and still be loved You can be someone that is barely considered a person and still be loved

also god. every time i get to the part where Awn goes to Var deck my heart clenches. that anaander has such "mad king" vibes, she straddles the line between unhinged and probably very close to correct so intensely!!!

i keep thinking about gender inside and outside the radch and this description breq gives of the crowds of people she sees on omaugh station, chefs kiss!!

"An eddying crowd of unnervingly, ambiguously gendered people. I saw all the features that would mark gender for non-radchaai. never, to my annoyance and inconvenience, the same way in each place. short hair or long, worn unbound, trailing down a back, or thick curled nimbus, or bound, braided, pinned, tied. thick bodied, or thin. faces delicate featured or coarse, with cosmetics or none. a profusion of colors that would have been gender-marked in other places. all of this matched randomly with bodies curving at breast and hip, or not. bodies that one moment moved in ways various non-radchaai would call feminine, the next moment, masculine."

also the slow reveal of how seivarden actually cares about breq beyond just ensuring the provider of seivarden’s basic needs won’t suddenly drop her.... like she comes back from her appointment having been set up with clothes, food, and lodging, and immediately notices that breq looks uncomfortable in her meeting with skaaiat and bitches breq out for neglecting her own needs and insisting she’ll be fine [on her own now that she’s registered with the station], she'll see breq tomorrow (willingly! Not out of need anymore!) and breq should rest her injured leg!!!! seivarden.... best worst girl!!! "you don't have to take care of me now, see, please look after yourself!!" (and soon we'll start seeing seivarden more and more forcefully trying to take care of breq!!!)

breq on watching musicals for entertainment: "It was mindless, but the songs were nice and improved my mood considerably" SAME, BREQ, SAME

seivarden, "everything that happens on my watch is my fault", echoing awn unknowingly, and breq does not make even the tiniest internal monologue PEEP while getting visibly more and more uncomfortable!!!

and then seivarden goes off on/about the snooty conservatives!! The Radicalization of Seivarden Vendaai!!!! we're watching her go slowly from "I am important because of my bloodline" to "I am important not because of the circumstances of my birth but because this person has made it eminently clear that my bloodline is irrelevant and I matter to them anyway"

god i would love a seivarden POV from Justice. what she thinks is going on with Breq and what she notices and realizes before things are made clear!!

AND i am once again pining for Anaander backstory. Breq muses "the Radch had used ancillaries long before Anaander Mianaai had made herself into what she was, there just hadn't been quite so many of them." i wanna know what ancillaries in pre-anaander radch were like and i wanna watch anaander's transformation from individual to lord of the radch!!!

"Ancillaries were notorious for their expressionless faces. I could easily keep from smiling." Sure, Breq.

Seivarden standing up to Omaugh Anaander because she's more loyal to Breq than the Lord of the Radch….. god. I love Seivarden

[meggie515]

Let me start by I love The Summer I Turned Pretty and yes, I know this it’s fiction, but find myself so emotionally invested in these characters. With Season 2 out and having just finished the book series, I have found myself thinking a lot about this series and the love triangle that is Belly/Conrad/Jeremiah.

I actually think the show is done way better than the books. Jenny did a great job with the books, but the show just takes it to another level. Loved the addition of the Deb Ball in season 1 and the boardwalk games in episode 4 of season 2. Not to mention giving Steven and Taylor more of a role as well as the other supporting characters we love. With that being said, I am gearing myself up for the gut punch that the rest of season 2 is setting up. I love Jeremiah and I think he is an amazing friend to Belly. I can see what all the Jelly shippers see and want to root for them, but I will forever be Team Conrad, just like Team Edward in Twilight. The other “team” makes complete sense and could see the characters be completely happy (it is easy, effortless, just like breathing) but it just seems to be the safe option. Yes, this person makes me happy, yes, I love this person, but at the end of the day, always feeling something is missing/lacking. Anyway, that may be just me. I live for the teen angst/longing/pining and the more difficult journey.

I know there is lots of talk about leaks and believe me, I have found myself down the rabbit hole more than once. For those who have read the books, we know Jeremiah and Belly get together and have a relationship. We know that is where the show is going. For those that are Team Conrad, it’s the part of the series that you begrudgingly have to get through. I do hope what we see isn’t too far off from the books and really hope it’s not Conrad’s confession from the third book and Belly rebuffs him as many are alluding to. Not sure how you get passed that to get to where book three ends. Guess we just have to patiently watch and see. But I know my heart couldn’t handle seeing Conrad take that blow. Must protect him at all costs. And I really don’t want to end up not liking Belly.

So I’ve been thinking (maybe too much for something that is fiction) and came to this conclusion about what we are seeing and where it might be going, tv wise. Hoping and praying the strike ends soon so we get a third season.

One of the major changes from the book to the show was Belly loosing her virginity to Conrad. (What a scene btw). I think Jenny had Belly and Conrad sleep together not just because that seems like 2023 thing to do, but it really shows the connection these two have. It wasn’t lustful or just an act of passion. It showed how much they trust each other and connecting in way beyond a verbal declaration of love. And it makes a passage from the books (We’ll Always Have Summer) much more relevant:

“Conrad and I were linked, we would always be linked. That wasn't something I could do away with. I knew that now—that love wasn't something you could erase, no matter how hard you tried.”

It just makes that statement more powerful.

In the books, I didn’t like Jeremiah cheating on Belly. That just seemed cheap and a poor excuse/way to break them up. As much as I am Team Conrad, I don’t think Jeremiah would do Belly dirty like that. So I think adding in the show Belly and Conrad sleeping together could provide the catalyst for Belly and Jeremiah calling off their wedding. And this way, Jeremiah doesn’t cheat, which will make Jeremiah shippers happier. Jeremiah is going to find out that Belly and Conrad slept together, something he and Belly never did and he realizes that he will always be second to Conrad, just like he does in the book. Even though Belly and him aren’t endgame, he is not portrayed as a cheater and bad guy. His character is redeemed, and we still get the ending Jenny wrote.

IDK, just my thoughts. Just wanted to get that out there. Like I said, I have spent way too much time thinking about this.

[xxl1zardb3ansxx]

More silly fanfic of WOF. Yippe.

One more day until it starts

Star awoke the next morning to find that yesterday was not a dream, and she was still here. She would be meeting the rest of her winglet today, which would be a good chance to take note of their personalities. Not in a creepy way or anything, but just to see what their tendencies were like.

Star walked out of her winget cave and finally took in the details of the school. There were little purple and yellow lanterns hanging in the hallway hosting a little candle in each of them. They gave a nice atmosphere in the hallways, making them cozy and soothing. As Star walked, she passed many other new students, walking towards the winglet caves, holding various items. One Seawing had an entire chest of jewels for no reason, a Skywing had a clacky white necklace, and a Hivewing came through holding a spectacle box and nothing else. Star saw that the Hivewing got a lot of weird looks. It was probably because a lot of dragons still weren’t over the whole Hivewing incident (Read books 11-15 to know what i’m talking about.) Star wasn’t one of those dragons. It was their stupid queen’s fault not theirs. But still dragons shot them dirty looks as if they were a Rainwing who couldn’t change colors. They just can’t handle anything beyond basic math because they’re all idiots whose parents never said ‘no’ to them in their entire lives. Anyhow. Star kept walking and exploring the school. She decided to check out the library first, as that was probably the place where Star would spend most of her time. Either A) reading B) Studying or C) Sketching. As Star was walking a Skywing bumped into her shoulder and said, “Watch it hybrid.” Star almost stopped. She hadn’t been called that in a very long time. She didn’t respond to people like that. They just wanted a reaction. The Skywing snorted a small laugh when Star didn’t respond. “Scared are ya?” He asked in an annoying tone, almost like her brother Astrion’s.

“No. I just don’t see a point talking to idiots.” Star snapped back, not at all scared of this stupid Skywing.

“Oh really?! You wanna fight hybrid?” The Skywing declared.

“Sure, why not.” Star said, brandishing her poisonous barb at him.

“Hah, you don’t scare me-”

“Oh, shut up Vermillion.” A female voice said from behind them.

“Ugh, not you.” Vermillion said, rolling his eyes.

“Hey, I’m Blizzard. Blizz for short. This here is Vermillion the dung hat. He’s got seal blubber for brains so don’t pay attention to him.” Blizzard said appearing out of nowhere.

“H-hi. I’m Star. S-StarGazer.” Star said, suddenly overwhelmed. Star’s brain was filled with the image of Blizzard’s beautiful face. Her sleek white scales, shining icy blue eyes, ice-like spikes sitting along her neck and tale menacingly. 

“That’s a nice name. Are you new here too?” Blizzard asked in a sweet tone.

“Uh, hello? I’m still here penguin brains!” Vermillion interrupted.

“Oh, be quiet. Go find a rat in the prey center or something.” Blizzard responded, clearly more interested in talking to Star. “Anyway, are you new here too?”

“Yeah.” Star squeaked out, blushing wildly. 

“Cool, I hope we’re in the same winglet!” Blizzard said, running off toward the wiglet caves. And Star couldn’t tell if it was just her wishful thinking or was Blizzard blushing a little? It didn’t matter. Just get to the library. Star hurried over to the library and found a corner to hide in. Star began looking around the library. Star noticed that the librarian was blind. Star didn’t exactly know how that worked, but she wasn’t brave enough to ask. Star eventually found some scrolls she was interested in. An interesting series about a scavenger boy getting into magical trouble with his friends. Star decided to stay and read for a while before the librarian said we had to go to initiation. Star and a few others shuffled out of the library and into the main hall. It was very crowded in here and Star had to take a second to quiet all the voices. Eventually a group of dragons shuffled on stage. A Mudwing, Seawing, Nightwing, Rainwing, and Sandwing.

“Hello new students! Welcome to Jade Mountain! We are so excited to have you here. Within these school walls, we know that you may not like each other, but you will have to respect each other as long as you're here. So I don’t wanna hear a single word about someone being rude. And if I do, we have a very strict policy for punishment and you will get a 5 hour detention. So, I hope you all know that before we start the year. Anyway, with that out of the way, we hope you enjoy your stay at Jade Mountain. We have activities in each of the rooms of the school. However, if you are tired, you may go to your winglets and sleep. Or whatever it is that you kids do these days.” The Seawing explained poking her wings toward various rooms in the school. Star was tired, but she wanted to see what event was happening in the library. Star walked over there having to really try to shut out everyone’s annoying thoughts. As Star approached the library, she noticed Blizzard there looking around. Star tried to act natural and walk up to her but ended up nervously shuffling to the other side of the library. There was a writing event going on, where StarFlight, the librarian, would let you make a book, and place it into the library. It was cool but Star was kind of nervous about sharing her work. Sure she could submit one of her already done works from home, or she could write a completely new one. Maybe a guide for new students like herself. As Star was studying the shelves, Blizzard walked up to her.

“Hi, Star.” She said, fiddling with her talons.

“Oh! H-hi, Blizzard. H-how's it going?” Star stuttered, once again, swallowed by Blizzard’s image.

“Good. This writing event sounds interesting to me, although I’ve never really written a book before. Have you?”

“Yeah, I uh, I have.” Star squeaked, nervous in the presence of Blizzard.

“Really? Cool! I would like to read one of them sometime. I-if you want.” Blizzard finished nervously.

“Y-yeah. Sure. Um, I have one in my bag in my winglet cave. I could go get it for you.” Star suggested.

“I’ll come with you! It sounds like fun.” Blizzard said, smiling. 

The 2 of them walked out of the library and towards the winglet caves. They walked in a pit of awkward silence, neither of them knowing what to say. Eventually they reached the Jade winglet cave. Blizzard gasped and said “I’m in this winglet too! Yay!”

“Oh, yeah. C-cool.” Star stuttered, realizing she’d have to deal with even more of Blizzard. Which wasn’t a bad thing, but that meant more stuttery nervousness. Star walked over to her bed and opened her satchel. She rummaged in it for a bit before feeling the familiar leather cover of the book she wrote. Star lifted it out of the bag and handed it to Blizzard. She seemed very excited to see a book, but who can blame her? Both of them were very tired so they decided to stay in the winglet cave and talk for the rest of the day. 

“So where are you from?” Blizzard asked, getting comfy in her bed.

“The Rainforest. I live in Cocoona village. What about you?” Star asked.

“I usually stay in the ice palace. My mom is Snowfall. She’s nice but sometimes it’s nice to get away from my duties with her. I’d love to visit your village sometime!” Blizzard explained, getting excited at the end.

“Oh, yeah you probably could, although I’m not sure how the others in the village would react. My mom would probably like you though. She’s friends with Snowfall. Sorta. She helped solve the whole Pantala thing. She also helped organize the trade route between us.” Star explained shrugging.

“Oh, is your mom Moon? Cool. I heard she’s really nice.” Blizzard said, smiling sweetly.

“Yeah, she can get a little annoying sometimes though. With all the ‘It’Ll MaKe SeNsE wHeN yOuR oLdEr’ stuff.” Star was a little surprised that Blizzard didn’t freak out when she found out her mom was Moon.

“Haha, yeah. My mom says that a lot too. It is annoying. Like, how about you stop repeating that, and give us something we can understand then? It’s not that hard.” Blizzard said, laughing a little.

“Yeah! Like, when there was an evil character in books when I was young, I would ask ‘Why is he being mean?’ And I would have gotten the concept of bad much earlier if my mom just said, ‘because not everyone is good.’ instead of ‘It’ll make sense when you're older.’ Sorry does that make sense?” Star said, realizing she might be talking a bit too much.

“Yeah that does make sense! We could’ve gotten a grip on the world easier if they just laid it on us.” Blizzard said, throwing her talons in the air. Just then a Hivewing walked through the door.

“H-hi is this the, uh, Jade winglet?” The Hivewing asked, pushing up his broken spectacles.

“Yeah, welcome!” Blizzard said, waving him into the room.

“Th-thanks.” The Hivewing chose the hive-looking hexagon shape bed for himself.

“I’m Blizzard, and this is Star. What’s your name?” Blizzard asked the Hivewing.

“I’m, uh, Ant. Nice to meet you.” The Hivewing said, setting down his things.

“Ant? Really? What a stupid name!” Said Vermillion’s annoying voice from the doorway.

“Shut up Vermillion! You act like you're literally not named after a color!” Blizzard protested in Ant’s defense.

“Please don’t tell me you're in our winglet.” Star said, placing her snout in her talon.

“Oh yes I am hybrid! I’m part of the Jade winglet! The same winglet that took down Queen Wasp!” Vermillion announced, as if nobody knew already. Ant flinched a little at the words ‘Queen Wasp’ Star guessed it was because of the war. Vermillion took the bumpy ledge and continued to spew his nonsense.

“My dad says that Hivewings still can’t be trusted. They’re probably just building up their forces to take us down. He also says that Silkwings are just stupider Rainwings. And I agree.”

“Well, your dad is an idiot.” Blizzard said, flipping open the book Star had given her.

“What!? No he’s not! Yours is!” Vermillion shouted.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Blizzard said, not caring at all about Vermillion.

“Your Icewing brain is just to stupid to handle it!” Vermillion said, trying to get a reaction.

“Really? My brain is the one that’s stupid here. Uh-huh. Sure makes total sense.” Blizzard said, sarcastically. 

“Mph- Ugh! I hate you!” Vermillion huffed, turning his head away.

“That’s nice.” Blizzard said, turning the page.

Star could hear Ant’s thoughts saying thank you silently. He was an obviously shy dragon, but he was still polite. Even if it was in his head. Star pulled out her sketchbook as she guessed nobody wanted to talk. She started sketching Blizzard, hoping that she didn’t notice. Star remembered her earring and looked at it. It was glowing a little, but not much. The little tear drop shaped piece of purple glass sparkled at her, pointing out its little star details. She knew what it meant but Star didn’t want to answer it right now. A light green Rainwing with pink highlights, and purple details walked in.

“Is this the Jade winglet?” She asked, looking quite disgusted at the sight of Vermillion.

“Yep! Welcome.” Blizzard said, smiling.

“Great. Thanks. I’m Castra by the way.” The Rainwing said, flying up to the hammock.

A Sandwing came in next, looking excited. “Alright! This is the Jade winglet right?” Blizzard nodded in response. “Sweet! I’m Cactus!” The Sandwing said, bounding over to the heated stone ledge. The next dragons were a Mudwing named Cat-tail, a Seawing named Tortoise, and a Silkwing named Weaver. Eventually, it got dark, and they all went to sleep peacefully.

[esther-dot]

I sent the anon about the white saviorism. So I think Martin's intentional plot points and characterizations are very obvious and in your face because he tends to be very repetitive about his foreshadowing and symbolism, which is why Dark Dani and being a foil to Jon completely having gone over peoples heads sends me on every level. That being said, I think his endgame is fundamentally what happened in GOT just the path to get there would have been wildly different - tho he will never never admit it after seeing the unhinged reactions by the fandom, but he's not ever going to finish the rest of the books so it's all moot anyway.

Aria - goes off west to explore (tons of foreshadowing for this and Elio revealing that Martin would have liked to do a spin off book with a post-series Aria and her adventures in Braavos or wherever the fuck confirms it lol).

Sansa - I think will became Lady of Winterfell and Warden of the North. IDK about Queen, that may have been a show invention. But I do think she will be back North in a leadership position.

Bran - We all know his intent is King Bran (incredibly stupid imo, but it is what it is lmao. Side note, someone mentioned that there has only been three Bran chapters since the Clinton administration lmao. Those books will never finish because Martin has no idea how to get to the endpoints he wants).

Dani - Going dark, will be the final baddie who Starks will team up against and she's a goner. I do think Martin envisioned Jon being the one to kill her - apparently this is a call back to the Dark Phoenix comics he was a fan of.

Rickon - I think his original endgame was to become a High Septon based on that line in AGOT that basically foreshadowed all the Starks endgames lmaooo.

Jon - He will be a 'Ghost' in the North, a shell of himself, and will end up alone beyond the wall. The Targ line will die with him. Possibly the 1000 lord commander of the watch if foreshadowing is to be believed as well.

It’s thoughts like this that make me grateful we aren’t getting the last book 😂 Jon’s fate I mean, so much misery might be in store for him. I was never into comics, but some of the Dark Phoenix stuff gives me GoT flashbacks. Thanks for that. 😐

Of course, if the show’s ending for Jon is Martin’s, I find the idea of a sequel even weirder! Are you a jonsa btw? I had convinced myself that theirs would be something they didn’t act on because so much of what we consider foreshadowing can be read as R+L=J hints, then I switched to thinking secret wedding/secret son so that Jon experiences exactly what Aemon spoke of. Once I thought the Targ line had to die with Jon, but there are a lot of people with Targ blood so I’m not sure Martin could justify preventing Jon from having kids on those grounds. 🤔 I guess if Jon were to be legitimate (a point of contention) I could see him joining the Watch again to make Bran’s rule entirely secure/remove himself / potential children for the equation. Do you think there will be a J/D romance voluntarily or by coercion? Because if Jon is forced into a relationship there, even a short one, I could see him being too traumatized by it/killing D to ever act on feelings for Sansa.

King Bran…I think there’s a lot of humor there. If we take away all of the questions about how that’s gonna happen, I find it a fun twist for it to be someone so unexpected. I don’t see how it can be written, but it makes me smile, now that the shock has worn off.