#anyway i hope we can all enjoy the finale without feeling sad about this great show coming to a close (at least for now)!

[voguesriot]

NOBODY’S BUSINESS ✹ luke castellan

part one

( summary ) social media au where luke’s sudden spike in confidence turns a few heads, including the head of your ex who just loves to jump in other people’s business

( pairing ) luke castellan x fem aphrodite counsellor!reader , mentions of ex bf! hephaestus camper x reader

( notes ) this feels a bit rushed bcs i’m sick rn but i hope you guys enjoy anyway!!

♫ American Teenager by Ethel Cain

♡ liked by maxwalsh , silenabeauregard , and others

yourusername proof that percy doesn’t actually hate luke

seaweedbrain hey girlie!!! can you take this down like immediately?? not to sound to mean or anything but i can and will find you 😇

yourusername you’re such a cutie perce

seaweedbrain kys

sarahdawson totally wasn’t held at gunpoint for that last pic guys no need to worry

connorstroll we weren’t worrying but thanks anyway ig

sarahdawson sleep with one eye open.

lukecastellan 2/10 post

yourusername sorry for messing with your tough guy image 😔

lukecastellan actually it only loses points bcs there’s no pics of you

chrisrodriguez WOAHHHHHHH

sarahdawson HIS BALLS FINALLY DROPPED

clarisselarue bit sad to know they weren’t completely crushed after the red team kicked their ass icl

yourusername oh trust they were all whining about it the second i put away the camera

clarisselarue good.

GROUPCHAT — chb’s finest

clarisselarue: y/n what is max doing in your likes…

sarahdawson: HES WHAT

sarahdawson: oh he’s brave

yourusername: IDK HE JUST APPEARED

yourusername: like a bug

seaweedbrain: or a rat

yourusername: that too

lukecastellan: he’s on his way for training with me rn so i’ll go extra hard on him

silenabeauregard: homoerotic subtext goes crazy

yourusername: thanks luke but really you don’t need to do that

yourusername: like i’m over him now and i just want to forget about him altogether

lukecastellan: he deserves a hard time for what he did to you anyway

lukecastellan: you deserve way better than that

lukecastellan: i mean anyone would

seaweedbrain: great save bro

lukecastellan removed seaweedbrain.

sarahdawson: oh you took that one personally

DIRECT MESSAGES

clarisselarue: ok when did you get game

lukecastellan: idk what you’re talking about

clarisselarue: oh please spare me i’ve had to watch you make googoo eyes for the past two years you can’t lie you’re way out of this one

lukecastellan: seriously idk what you’re talking about clarisse

clairsselarue: ok fine whatever but HYPOTHETICALLY if you were to try anything with my girl i want you to know that i approve but trust if you go a toe out of line then you will be dealt with

read.

♫ My Love Mine All Mine by Mitski

♡ liked by drewtanaka, hazellevesque , and others

[ tagged: sarahdawson ]

yourusername you’re the only thing i’ll ever thank a man for

yourusername thanks max

this comment was deleted.

sarahdawson I SAW THAT COMMENT GIRL THAT WAS BRAVE

drewtanaka surprised sar isn’t screaming for photo creds for the second slide

sarahdawson bcs i didn’t take it……..

silenabeauregard WOAH WHAT

pipermclean yourusername hey sis can we have a chat please

yourusername nope i’m doing cabin checks rn #counsellorissues

wisegirll i’m doing cabin checks rn though???

silenabeauregard the plot thickens

lukecastellan glad to see you listened to my advice

yourusername felt bad keeping my beauty from everyone

lukecastellan it was a rough time without it

groverunderwood chrisrodriguez now THESE are moves

chrisrodriguez LOOK AT MY BOY GO gods is this what normal parents feel when their kids go to college

maxwalsh nice earrings

this comment was deleted.

seaweedbrain we all saw that comment right…

clarisselarue yes.

DIRECT MESSAGES

maxwalsh: hey can we please talk

yourusername: no

maxwalsh: please babe cmon you didn’t even hear me out

yourusername: because you tried to kiss sarah you fucking asshole

maxwalsh: no it wasn’t like that you don’t get it

maxwalsh: look can you just meet me by our old spot and i can explain everything

yourusername: no

maxwalsh: babe you’re not acting like yourself

yourusername: bcs it’s not her, she’s asleep rn and she’s not your “babe”

maxwalsh: who tf is this???

yourusername: doesn’t matter

yourusername blocked maxwalsh.

lukecastellan posted to their story!

SARAHDAWSON replied to your story

sarahdawson: WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH SLOW YOUR ROLL WHAT

CLAIRSSELARUE replied to your story

clairsselarue: “idk what you’re talking abt clarisse” oh i hate you so bad

SILENABEAUREGARD replied to your story

silenabeauregard: i’d know that silhouette anywhere…

CHRISRODRIGUEZ replied to your story

chrisrodriguez: i’m a bit hurt i wasn’t told in depth about this before but i’m too proud to pay attention to it GOOD FOR YOU MAN

MAXWALSH replied to your story

maxwalsh: so it was you who had her phone the other day

maxwalsh: wtf man

lukecastellan: womp womp

lukecastellan: you snooze you lose and you lost big time

♫ Nobody’s Business by Rihanna, Chris Brown

♡ liked by jasongrace , racheledare , and others

[ tagged: yourusername ]

lukecastellan and it ain’t what??

yourusername AND IT AIN’T NOBODY’S BUSINESS

clarisselarue ok edward cullen why are you eating her neck like that

silenabeauregard everyone i took the hammock pic thank me please 🙏😇

yourusername thank you beautiful angel

seaweedbrain cute i guess…….

chrisrodriguez I ALWAYS HAD FAITH IN YOU BRO EVEN WHEN EVERYONE ELSE THOUGHT YOU WERE A LOSER WITH NO GAME, I STAYED ROOTING FOR YOU

lukecastellan appreciate you bro

lukecastellan wait people said that about me???

wisegirll my favs 😭🫶

yourusername AWE ILY ANNIE

seaweedbrain oh i’m just dirt to you then? chill.

wisegirll you’re so dramatic percy

seaweedbrain oh so mental health matters until I’M the one hurt? cool.

lukecastellan and y’all were saying i had no game

seaweedbrain okay luke see that’s just not funny because your dad literally dances on a revolving stage for a living

lukecastellan had to bring out the dad jokes because you know i’m right?

seaweedbrain why is your old age pension ass beefing with me instead of talking to ur girlfriend… weird behaviour

sarahdawson too cute i fear

sarahdawson but you i must remind you mr castellan, i made it onto her feed first. you will ALWAYS be second to me. always.

drewtanaka anyone else hear weeping from the hephaestus cabin…

leovaldez it’s really depressing

leovaldez i think he just punched a hole in the wall

cbeckendorf he did

pipermclean LMAO WHAT A FUCKING LOSER 😭😭☠️☠️

( taglist ) @perseus-jackass @harrysnovia

[1moreff-creator]

DRDT CH2 EP16 First Impressions

We’ve reached the end of the chapter! A bittersweet feeling, finally getting closure on this chapter while also ushering in a new hiatus. Still, congrats to dev for making it this far! Hope they enjoy their break, while we enjoy whatever they’ve cooked up for the ending!

Without further ado, let us enjoy peak.

Spoilers for the entirety of CH2 (hell yeah). CW: Execution, suicidal thoughts.

It’s Aceover.

ONE vote for Teruko! Do we think Ace voted for himself? Did the mystery voter from Trial 1 repeat their vote on Teruko? Or did they not, and the vote’s just Ace? {Hindsight: It’s CH1 Mystery Voter probs}

MonoTV: “You got it right!” IT’S ALL OVER.

Okay wait it’s actually kinda weird to see the new David sprites outside of the Trial. Like it’s trippy idk why. That’s crazy.

Eden: “Why her of all people?” Poor Eden, at least give her an answer! Even if it’s just “it was the easiest option” man.

Whit: “I really thought that no one would repeat what happened to Xander and Min.” Is this the very first piece of anti-Whit Time Loop theory evidence? Or is he just lying? I don’t believe the theory, so I’m passing that one to the defenders.

Ace: “I killed her. And if you can’t forgive me for that, then there’s nothing I can say.”

Hey remember when Nico said they didn’t see the point of saying sorry if they wouldn’t be forgiven anyways? Yeah.

The foils are foiling :O

Both Teruko and Eden blaming themselves in their own way (Eden mentioned it in Ep10 “just like Min!” and now Teruko’s bringing “misfortune” into the conversation), man we are in for some sad times with these two. And everyone else ig.

Hu: “How could you say it’s just misfortune?” And Hu is very against this idea, interesting.

“So we can’t blame ourselves for failing to prevent something like that.” Ah, there’s the ticket. She’s trying not to feel guilty about it, which is kinda fair, Arei’s death is 99% Ace’s fault.

Eden: “The Ace I met for the first time wasn’t a murderer.” Oof, Eden hitting us with the full highlight line. She’s so great for this honestly. Everything she says afterwards is also great for her character, I love her (and I don’t need to read her lines with suspicion!!! I’m free!!!)

Veronika. And she’s still smiling. Go worst girl! /affectionate

“The only thing anyone can do in this killing game is to shatter.” We are… getting worryingly close to secret quote wording here.

Rose: “Are you saying Ace was pushed into killing because of things like almost being killed?” (Paraphrased) Oh God she’s gonna feel guilty too because she let Nico get the turpentine! Even if that doesn’t work if Ace had already chosen to kill Eden, still! How much self-blame can we have this trial?

Teruko: “No.” Yeah thank you.

Ace: “Did you all get the Veronika virus or what?” God I’m gonna miss him so much actually.

[To Levi] “Shut up for the rest of your life and kill yourself!” Holy SHIT he’s going out with a bang. {Hindsight: I didn’t realize how accurate this would be}

David: “You still have it in you to throw stones in your glass house.” Did this motherfucker correctly use the idiom Ace fucked up earlier? He’s such a piece of shit /affectionate.

Ace: “I don’t care if it made me a hypocrite!” AGH-! New sprite and the voice acting continues the hot streak of being absolutely fucking stellar! Holy hell!

[To Levi] “I just needed a reason to stay mad at you!” Ouchie!

[The whole Levi v Ace thing] This is just fucking incredible. Levi still doesn’t understand, Ace just wanted to stay mad so he could live with his betrayal, just peak character writing all around. And peak VAing, of course.

Teruko: “I need you to do a favor for me. It might just save your life.” YOOO I CALLED THIS!!! Blackened Blaze of Glory let’s fucking goooo!!!! Thanks to shinycrows for asking me that!!!

“Kill MonoTV for me.” Alright so. Not the best plan ever, but then again, it’s not like any plan against the killing game will work on CH2. Also the way she said that was great.

MonoTV: “Yeah, more murder!” Why’s it so funny for?

Teruko: “Arei died because you’re a coward, Ace!” YO why’s she going so hard right now?! This entire scene is incredible, I don’t even have any words for this much peak. The emotion in her voice, holy fuck- Oh yeah because Arei’s crying reminded her of something! In the playground! So Teruko does have a small connection with Arei so she’d feel real bad (for more reason than just death of someone she knew)! I didn’t put that together till now.

[Ace punches MonoTV] PEAAAK! Oh shit it actually broke! That was so fucking awesome! Let’s fucking go Ace!!!!! Also MonoTV is definitely just coming back, right?

That broken MonoTV sprite though!

Eden: “Finally, it’s over—“ The lack of music is making this really impactful, even though we know it won’t work. Holy shit.

MonoTV: “A fatal error has been detected” We breaking out different fonts?

MonoTV: “Now loading the default XF-Ture personality drivers.”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AND THE CROWD GOES FUCKING WILD!!!!

Now we have the question. Was MonoTV created by XF for the game? Or did XF just create the AI, and someone repurposed it for thre killing game?

Also what are these defaults going to be?

…Wait whose voice is this? Someone we know? Please tell me I’m bad at recognizing voices! {I think it’s still MonoTV’s VA, just doing a different act, but I’m not sure}

[MonoTV speech] Didn’t expect MonoTV of all damn characters to have a badass moment, but I guess this is the world we live in now.

“But there is no reason to punish Ace a second time.” UHHH Chat are we cooked?

The death of every participant? This is about rule 14, right? “All murderers must be held accountable”? The “everyone is responsible for Mai’s death and must be punished” theory seems to be gaining ground.

It’s also saying this is why it was created, so XF likely did have a direct hand in the killing game. Min MM not looking so implausible all of the sudden.

“I will pass the punishment…” chat we’re actually immensely cooked what.

“I will now proceed with the execution of Teruko Tawaki.” UHHH LUCK BETTER COME IN CLUTCH!!!

[Machine Gun] BRO?!?!?!

Charles: “That thing will surely kill you!” Even Charles is sounding extremely distressed here, damn! But I guess Teruko is relying on her luck maybe?

Whit: “Charles! Stop talking and cover your eyes!” I mean yeah good advice but you know- More pressing things atm

Teruko: “No :)” Why’s she so silly coded?

Teruko: “Killed? I doubt it. As if something so kind could happen to me.” AAAAAAH!!!! The suicidal tendencies return with a vengeance!!!

[Her speech] Holy fuck holy fuck this is crazy she’s actually doing the unhinged Lucky Student thing of relying on luck she’s going in I’m so terrified for what’s about to happen.

“I’ll show you all what it means to be the Ultimate Lucky Student.” Shit boutta go crazy.

[LEVI DOES THE THING] OF FUCKING COURSE!

Bro I was not ready for this. I wasn’t ready in the slightest. This motherfucker better survive against all odds or it’s all over.

Bro that sprite- He’s so cooked.

MonoTV: “His injuries are not fatal” Wait are we saved? Arturo look I know you’re not a doctor but for the love of God tell me you can do something about this holy shit. I wasn’t ready for this.

VERONIKA. Holy shit she’s actually insane.

Arturo: “He could live…” Please??? For me???

Wait now that I’m thinking about it. He hasn’t said his secret quote. We might be saved.

[Whit sprite] … Huh??? Bro what the fuck is happening this episode.

Ace: “Execute me right now!” Ough this shit insane!!! I can’t- I genuinely can’t react. I’m just overcome with emotion at this point.

“I’ll have a third death in my hands!” … Wait the math. Unless he’s counting himself… does he blame himself for Taylor’s death???

[The entire Arturo - Ace debacle] I…holy shit???? The genuine distress in Arturo’s voice when he says he can’t save Levi??? Ace clinging to the hope that he can??? Bro what the fuck??? This is insane???? I can’t- I can’t compute- This is actually insane. This is so much. Levi better not fucking die after this I swear to god-

Ace: “I don’t want to die…” Holy shit dev did it. I’m feeling just as bad for Ace as I felt for Min. Bra-fucking-vo. Holy fuck. No words.

[Thanatophobia]

(Fear of death right? Fits)

… Okay, so. I know someone brought up this term in relation to Ace. Genius, first.

Second, that might just be one of the greatest executions I’ve even seen, if not the best. I usually don’t care much about how good executions are, but this… this is incredibly good. The music was banging. The execution method was unique. It wasn’t related to his talent, but his character, which makes it better imo.

(Also are the “unexplained illnesses” related to Xander’s family?)

And even through all this… dev showed the corpse. When they didn’t show Min’s. Why would you allow me to cope even further? You drop XF and show a corpse- holy shit. I just can’t even process anything.

And he didn’t say his quote. He never said it I don’t think. Levi better survive.

VERONIKA. Holy shit she’s actually getting more and more unhinged by the second the hell-? Yeah remember when she looked unnerved by Min’s execution?!?! She ain’t looking unnerved no more!

Hu: “The elevator is open!” We’re just- gonna ignore- Alright, I guess it’s fair. Surely Levi survives right?

Rose please tell me you looked away. I know you saw Levi so it’s not looking great either way, but still.

Teruko: “Go on without me.” Is she going to talk to David maybe? About the secret?

“Everyone was gone.” Alright no, she’s just going to mourn or something?

[Teruko reflects on her similarities to Ace and Arei] I really like this moment, it’s nice of her to say what the audience was probably already thinking.

MonoTV: “I must convince everyone that I’m the villain.” And what does this mean MonoTV? Genuinely too burnt out to think about it any harder rn.

MonoTV: “That is the fate that I have, to make others suffer.” HOW ARE WE TYING MONO FUCKING TV TO THE THEME OF FATE?!?!?!WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT FUCKING “TERUKO-MONOTV PARALLELS” WHAT THE FUCK?! DEV YOU SON OF A BITCH YOU DID IT AGAIN!!! /positive

[Teruko breaks down] Holy hell…

“I had known the answer…” AUGH- The character writing… it’s so good… fucking hell this is incredible…

Where do we even go from here? Teruko’s speed running the themes of trust and fate like they’re not the main themes of the series?!?! I’m going crazy.

… Are we seriously leaving it on a cliffhanger whether Levi is alive or not? Like, I know the “surviving students” thing counted him, so I’m guessing he’s alive, but… hot damn. This is an evil cliffhanger.

(Also I find it funny that David’s silhouette sprite did in fact change to what the dev said was his new default lol)

“Seems there’s something he’s not proud of” The nailbiting right.

-

General Thoughts

…

…

…

…

Bro how the fuck am I expected to even begin to summarize this shit?!?!

Okay, in… ascending order of crazy.

Did David just… not speak almost the entire episode? Did he even have any lines when Teruko was being executed? The fuck is going on with him? He didn’t even reveal Teruko’s secret???

Veronika was unhinged. Loved that for her. Hope she gets worse, it seems like CH3 will be a fun chapter for her (I hope that doesn’t mean she dies).

Whit officially gets his very own unhinged/breakdown sprite! We’ve completed the set! I mean, it’s not as crazy as others, but it matches Rose’s so…

Everyone endures further trauma, fun.

I even feel bad for Arturo! Poor guy did not ask for this shit! There’s fun foils here with Levi trying to protect the group as much as he can and Arturo being forced into the role…

Also. Of all ships. I did not expect Aceturo to get a dub here somehow.

I somehow called more or less predicted what Teruko was gonna do. Fun how that happened. And her little character reflection at the end was awesome, I loved it very much. Jesus fuck.

That’s gotta be the best execution I’ve ever seen, hands down. I don’t care that there wasn’t a single horse there. This is much better.

Also, no secret quote from Ace. So those are 100% not a good metric for defining who is at risk of death. Wonder if that means we’ll get a flashback with him?

XF-Ture Tech?!?!?! MonoTV character building kinda?!?!?!?! I’m going crazy?!?!?!

Levi??? This motherfucker better be alive. There’s no reason he should be dead, so I’m gonna assume he’s alive. But wow… I guess weightedblankettt was sorta right on the “final orbit” interpretation of Levi’s connection to Shoemaker-Levy 9, just… not in a way we expected. (If that meant nothing to you don’t worry about it).

And Ace… Hot damn. Just… an entire character arc at the eleventh minute, huh? How’s that for the people who were saying Ace wouldn’t be remembered, huh? Levi probably owes him his life, in a way. He broke MonoTV. He faced his thanatophobia to try to help Levi survive. Just… so fucking good. I said it in the reaction. I genuinely felt just as much grief for him as I did Min. And coming from me, that’s… a lot. Just incredible writing and voice acting and everything in between…

This cements it, btw. This is my favorite trial from anything DR related ever. It’s genuinely insane. I am going to make a more detailed, more coherent post analyzing the entirety of Part 2 of this chapter, because it deserves it. It deserves more thought than I’m able to give right now on account of feeling too many emotions. Stay tuned for that, I guess.

Props to the dev, the VAs, and anyone who might have laid a hand on this at some point. It’s genuinely incredible, this is an unforgettable experience. Holy shit.

I don’t- I don’t have the emotional energy to keep writing. Just… I think I need to calm down for a few hours. Genuinely loved every second of this. Thanks for reading, and see you when I gather my thoughts enough to trust myself to be coherent.

[cryptic--writing]

Hiya 👋🏻

It’s not really a kinktober request, but maybe you’ll consider doing it? No pressure though))

Ajaf era James, where he was drinking a lot. He understands that that affects him and turns him into a monster. He’s afraid he’s going to hurt reader, but he can’t break up with her for her safety, he loves her too much. So he comes up with stupid plan of making her break up with him because of his behavior? So he starts to undermine her efforts, e.g. the meals she cooks “could have been better”; makes fun of her simple 9-5 job , saying that’s she lucky she can have a relaxed job cause he’s earning most of the money and covering the bills. Although she’s hurt, she is staying as she loves him and thinks it’s the alcohol talking. James, realizing his plan doesn’t work, makes the final move: after they have sex one evening, he tells her that groupies do a much better job. That’s too much for her to take so she leaves him.

Unfortunately, after break up he feels even worse. Lars is worried so he interrogates him, and drunken James confesses. So Lars finds reader and locks her in the studio with James for them to reconcile (can we have smut here)?

Few weeks later when they start recording black album, James plays her a song (which will become nothing else matters), saying that it’s his way of telling everyone how much she means to him?

I’m sorry I can’t write short asks 🥲🥲🥹🥹

You are a great writer so I really hope this will become a story 🙏🏻

hihi!

and omg its here. took me 9 days to write it lmao but yeah

i cant explain how much I loved this idea pls marry me annon

also ~~~ means POV change (yes there is James and reader pov)

this fic has legit everything so I hope y'all enjoy it bc I busted my ass on it

some parts may be confusing idk

anyways

word count: 10623

warnings: mentions of achohol/drugs, death is mentioned, toxic relationship, break up, angst, smut, fluff, I'm prob forgetting smth

OR SO I THOUGHT (1989)

It had been a rough couple months with James. I felt determined to help him with his only worsening alcoholism, though he only continued to shut me out. I could feel the guilt when he was around, but it didn't make him stop. I tried, I really did, encouraging him to talk to me, to help me help him. 

It was the same sad scene every night. James would come home, probably around midnight, and I couldn't sleep without him next to me, so I was up, all those hours, wondering as I tossed and turned as to where he might be. All I knew is I was in for a scary time when he got back, but I eventually grew tough skin to deal with this.  Understood that this wasn't safe for me, or him, and I stressed that so, so much to him, but James never understood. Well, he never told me he did. Maybe there was more going on in his heart I never knew about. But, of course, I could never discover as he would always close himself off so much.

It was another day where the cycle would repeat. I woke up at three am to the sound of James stumbling in, mumbling something under his breath before he plopped down on the bed beside me, and I knew well enough to hold my tongue, to not provoke him. I pretended I was asleep, which he believed, trying, or at least I think he was trying, to snuggly up next to me, but he had his back to me. His arms weren't around me. Maybe that's all I yearn for now, to be loved and held.

Once I could finally go back to sleep, I was awoken not much later by the sound of my blaring alarm. It was seven am, time to get ready for work. James is a heavy sleeper, he never woke up from my alarms, though I always rushed to turn them off, just in case they would wake him. Slipping out of bed with a groan, I observed his sprawled out body, his shoes still on. I'm glad he made it to the bed this night, as others he would end up on the couch, or in his car, or somewhere I had no idea of.

I pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, like a mother caring for her ill son on a school day. I slipped off his shoes, trying to get him more comfortable. I scurried towards the closet to grab my work clothes for the day before getting changed in the bathroom and rummaging through our medicine cabinet, finding some pain killers and then getting him a cold glass of water, leaving the items on our bedside table. I paused to watch over him as he slept, his slow, steady breaths that rose and fell from his chest. I loved him too much to change this lifestyle. I loved every part of him, and if this was part of him, then so be it. I'll help him get better. He loves every part of me, no matter what, right?

Or so I thought.

I slipped on my heels, walking into our messy kitchen, the sink filled with unwashed dishes James was supposed to do. But, he isn't well, so I must do them for him. After washing the dishes, I brewed coffee, poured myself a cup and left some for him and began to make breakfast. James had been off lately, different to how he already was off, but that slowly became part of our normal, so one new change did not stick out too much, but this one did. I don't know what it is. He just felt… lifeless, cold, I guess. I decided to make one of his favorite breakfast meals, a nice, warm and fluffy stack of pancakes with eggs and bacon, cooked just the way he liked it. I spent extra time trying to make it the best I had. I knew they would probably be cold by the time he woke up, but hopefully he'd appreciate my effort. I ate some eggs before scrambling for a notepad, getting a pen to write him a sweet good morning note, explaining I was at work, when I'd be home, how much I loved him, and where the other meds were if he needed them. I wrote these notes almost daily, but this one I made longer and more love filled. I figured he would want my love.

Or so I thought.

I came home around six pm, the evening traffic being worse than usual. Instead of seeing James' car out of the driveway and the house dark, he was still home. The soft sound of the TV buzzing was easy to hear as I unlocked the door, walking in to see him on the couch, leaning against the couch arm and holding his head up with his hand. He was too engrossed in whatever he was watching to nice me walk in, so I tried to have him notice my presence.

“Im back, Jamie,” I said softly to not startle him, my voice filled with love as I moved to sit next to him, he looked over at me, like a confused puppy. “How are you feeling?” I asked, gently stroking his back, though he moved from my touch.

“Oh, hi. Yeah, I'm fine. Busy right now, yeah?” He mumbled as a response as he resumed watching TV once more, brushing me off with his simple, cold words. I knew I had to respect his space and not probe at him, so I just nodded with a sigh and got up, slipping off my shoes and setting my bags down,

“Are you hungry?” I asked, digging through the fridge to get things to make dinner. He didn't answer. “James, are you hungry? I can make dinner,” I offered again, noticing the cleared plate that I had made him for breakfast, the note missing. I assumed he threw it away, just like the others. I never saw them in the trash cans, but after everything piles up, you can just assume. I heard James sigh from the couch, “Uh, yeah, sure, whatever. Breakfast was cold, so I threw most of it away anyways,” He admitted, and I felt a small ache in my heart. I thought he liked the dish since there was none left on his plate, but clearly he proved me different. Why I even put effort in these things, I don't know. THats a lie, I do. I love him, and want him to know it, to feel it. I should’ve been doing this as part of my own insecurities, but to make sure he knows I'm there for him, always.

I thought of what to make for dinner, seeing if he had eaten anything since breakfast, only finding empty beer bottles and a half eaten bag of chips. It was probably only the alcohol making him act like this. I decided to make steak with potatoes, something he normally liked and said I made pretty well. It was easy to make, and I know it was one of his favorites I made him, but normally I would wait for a bigger step in life, like celebrating something about the band, or something in my career, but I knew he deserved it still.

I finished after 45 minutes, preparing the plate to be gorgeous, something I wish I could hear from his lips for once. But, he loved me. I know he thinks I'm gorgeous, he wouldn't have to tell me. Right?

“Jamie, the food's ready, I made steak,” I said warmly with a smile, setting a dinner table for us. I didn't get a response, just a grunt as he stood from the couch and walked his near empty bottle of beer, finishing it off and grabbing another from the fridge. I sat at the table, waiting for him to come and join me. His eyes landed on the plate, pulling out the chair to sit down. I couldn't read his emotions, he didn't look too happy, but he didn't look mad. He just looked.. plain. James grabbed his fork and began to eat, the metal scraping against the porcelain plate, waiting for his nod of approval. It never came. He didn't talk, but not in a way like he was mad. He just didn't speak. But he didn't need to, he didn't need to say the things I knew already. I took a breath and began to eat, and it might've been one of the best I had cooked in awhile. Perfect tenderness, juiciness, seasoning, and cooked perfectly, something you could get at a restaurant, now in our home. 

“What do you think, baby? I think it's pretty good, no?” I inquired, seeking the validation I craved from him. He just shrugged.

“It's fine, I guess. It could've been better.”

It shouldn't have hurt. It really shouldn't. He just didn't like the dinner I cooked. The dinner I poured my time into. The dinner I made was special. Special for him. But, what did I know? I doubt he meant it. That's why it definitely shouldn't have hurt. He was drinking. ITs just the alcohol making him act like this. He would never say something like that to me. Why did tears prick at my eyes. Why did it actually hurt?

“Oh, uhm…. I'm sorry, I'll do better next time, do you want me to make you something else..?” I choked out, fighting back my tears.

“No, don't waste your time making something mediocre, yeah?” James insisted, insulting me bitterly once again.

I took a shaky breath, another sting to my heart. Hes. Drunk. This can't be what he means, right?

Or so I thought.

“Alright, uh, do you wanna cuddle on the couch..? We can watch anything you want? Or not watch anything, just sit together.” I offered again, pleading to get love from my partner.

“I was probably gonna go to bed. You mind cleaning up?” He pushed me away again, and every word stung. I want him to see me, to notice me, just to love me. But I reminded myself again and again, he's drunk, he doesn't mean it, he doesn't mean it. I'm just being sensitive and pathetic. Maybe it's just my hormones.

I nodded, forcing a smile, “Sure, yeah, go ahead and  go to bed, I'll clean up and join you in a bit, ok?” I informed him and he just nodded and got up, walking to the bedroom, still carrying his battle with him. My eyes stung, and once he was out of sight, I felt tears streak my face, but I continued to fight them away. I quickly got up to clear James’ and my own plate, then  cleaning the kitchen, washing everything with great care to keep it tidy.

I came into the bedroom, James half asleep under the sheets. His hair was astray as he slept near the edge, his limbs tight together. The now empty beer bottle sat on the nightstand, another reminder of James’ habits. I glanced around before getting changed into my sleep clothes, a nice little night dress James had gotten me for Valentines Day earlier that year. It was nice and pink with some fluffy pieces at the bottom and lace dancing across it. It flowed nicely and hugged my body in the right places, going down to a bit above my knees. It had some other pieces, like stockings and a garter. In reality, it was more so lingerie than a bed set. But, it was one of James’ favorites for me to wear. Maybe this would make him open up more, or just show me the love I'm craving. I crawled in beside him, though I doubt he noticed the weight accompanying him, trying to cuddle closer, pressing myself against his back.

“Jamie?” I asked softly, kissing the back of his head.

“Hm.” James answered in a sleepy tone, barely aware of my presence.

“You doing ok? You've been acting differently…” I kept a quiet tone, my hands gently running down his arms and back as I pondered on what may be hurting him so much.

He took a deep and large breath, sighing, “Yeah, I'm fine… why do you ask..?” James mumbled in response.

“Nothing, you just seem off, I guess,” I rushed out. I didn't want to upset him, but he just seemed so soft and sweet, something I hadn't seen from him awhile.

“Oh, well, alright then… love you..” He mumbled out, slowly succumbing to sleep after saying the words I knew were true.

Or so I thought.

The office today was exhausting. Absurdly exhausting. And infuriating. A stuck up and snotty boss whos full of himself ordering me around to do his mundane dirty work, my co workers giving me side glances of judgment for my more rushed than normal appearance, not having as much time this morning as I had to help James with yet another hangover, getting him to the bathroom in time before he painted our bed green in vomit, making him some foods to keep him comfortable and having to buy more pain killers, my 3rd trip this month, all before heading to work. All I wanted was to come home, sleep, relax, and be held by the love of my life. 

As simple as an office job 9-5 may seem, how it is not. No one else wants to do their own work, always needing some kind of assistance, and of course, I none the wiser, agree to help them.

It was another late evening with heavy traffic, not allowing me to come home until seven, again. I had stopped at the market, grabbing food and other supplies we were running low on. And more beer. 

The door to the house was locked, something that had been happening more and more as I came home, only growing worries on James' worsening habits, the idea of drugs coming to mind, but I tried to shake it from my head, just wanting a nice time at home. 

I unlocked the door, the house quiet except for the soft strum of a guitar in James’ mini studio, which was just an extra bedroom we had turned into a spot for him to store his instruments and for his practeing. We hoped one day for it to become a nursery, a room for our future child.

I followed the music, the half open door allowing me to peek at James, hunched over one of his explorers, fiddling with the strings as he danced around the fretboard with his talented fingers. I smiled at the sweet sight, slowly entering the room.

“Whatcha working on?” I asked, announcing my arrival home. James looked up at me, at first a smile on his face, but he quickly dropped it. His actions only confused me further.

“Uhm, not much, just… a couple riffs and stuff for the new album..” He answered, still picking at the strings with something unreadable in his eyes.

I nodded, smiling at him, “It sounds good, I'm excited to hear it,” I responded before speaking again, “Work was so exhausting today, I don't know how I put up with it anymore,” I said with a laughy sigh, trying to lighten the statement.

James just shrugged. “I mean, I don't really see how a nine to five can really be that tiring,” He disputed, but his tone sounded unsure, shaky like how it did when we first met. But there was a force, an anger of some kind.

I was even more lost with his shift in attitude, “Well, what do you mean? You don't work one, you wouldn't know,” I argued back with more aggression than I meant.

“Yeah, I don't work one. Your job is light and relaxing feather work compared to the shit I do. You are out doing twelve hours a day for months on end at a studio, being out for a year just to tour and shit, you don't make anything working that job, I'm the one paying the bills with my money.” James spat, cold and bitter. His words rung in my ears, repeating each syllable like a painful stab. My brain scrambled for reasons to understand his reaction and response to my complaint of work.

James' piercing blue eyes still starred up and me, my mouth agape in shock. Why would he act like this? He loved me. He just told me he did the other week before we went to bed. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. What is wrong in his life that I don't know about, that he wont tell me about.

My eyes scanned the room, searching for anything that might explain this behavior of his. Truly, anything that would help explain such a swift and sudden change in his mood, but deep down ZI knew, I was just looking for bottles, cans, cups, glasses, anything that would contain the fizzy and bitter liquid he loved. The only thing I could find was a half empty bottle, freshly opened next to the chair he sat in. That's it, that's why he's acting like this. He's just drunk. He doesn't mean it. He doesn't mean it.

Or so I thought.

Even with my new found reasoning, his words still hurt a great amount, the pain struggling to leave. A simple insult, just telling me how I don't work as hard as him, that my job isn't as crucial as his. I took a breath, trying to control and reign in my emotions before I could meltdown in front of him for such a stupid reason. Drunken words, not filled or backed by any true thoughts. Right?

But they do say drunk words are sober thoughts.

“I- well,” I tried to speak, but I couldn't come up with the words. What would I say? I didn't want to make him any more upset than he seemed to be, but I didn't want to submit to him so easily, especially after such disrespect. But I knew better. I don't lash out, I keep him happy. We will work this out together, we have to.

“I'm just gonna go to bed,” I muttered under my breath, fighting back tears that needed to spill out, James rude comments only adding fuel to the fire that had been burning in me all day. Not a fire of anger, passion or desire, but a fire of hurt. Once I shut the bedroom door behind me silently, I broke. The bottle shattered, and my tears overflowed my face, covering my mouth as I cried, trying to calm myself down as I got ready for bed at such an early hour, even forgetting to make James something for dinner.

It was my day off, a relaxing Saturday I could use to have some me time, as James was gonna be out with the band all day as the brainstormed for the new album, which was still taking its baby steps into production, nowhere near any concept for songs yet. At Least that I knew of. 

James had been really tense this week, and I had tried everything to get him to relax and cheer up. Taking him out to his favorite restaurants after I came home, making him home cooked meals, getting him gifts and all things. Though there was one thing I hadn't tried. Sex.

I spent all day dolling myself up, wanting to be as bare and beautiful as possible for James. I shaved everywhere, leaving not a single trace of hair anywhere except for my head,, of course. I scrubbed every nook and cranny of my body, putting on James’ favorite set we bought together, doing my makeup just the way he liked it, lighting the candles he got for my birthday, and dousing myself in his favorite perfume I owned. All the lights were out, except for the lowlights of the candles in the bedroom. I laid on the mattress, waiting for James to come home, hoping this would finally get him to unwind from his stress.

I heard James’ keys jingle in the door, and I could feel myself getting more and more excited for his arrival. This would be one of the few times I would have him sober, as when they worked on material they rarely drank or did anything crazy, thankfully. His shoes thudded on the wooden floors, a sigh escaping his lips as I heard him slowly walk towards the bedroom.

“Are you home?” He called out to me before approaching the bedroom door, taking in the sight of me and the room I had spent the evening preparing for this moment.

“Hey baby,” I mused with a smirk, looking up at him with loving eyes. His eyes met mine, looking warm for the first time in awhile.

“What's all this for?” He asked,  still taking in the well decorated bedroom and my sexy form.

“Wanted to help you relax… you've been so stressed,” I replied, grabbing his hand to try and bring him closer, to get into the bed with me.

It didn't take much more conniving, and James had given in pretty quickly to my offer. He was being more loud than normal, probably because we hadn't had the chance to be intimate like this in awhile. I loved this so much. Well, I loved being close to James again. He wasn't hitting the right spots or focussing on pleasuring me much, but that's fine, he's the one who needed to relax anyways, and I have enough time on my hands if I wanted to please myself, I guess. It didn't take long for him to come, pulling out and painting himself on my abdomen and my breath labored, coming down from…. Well, not an orgasm, but being close to one. James was beat after that, and I don't blame him for that. He had been so busy recently, I was happy we just got to share a moment like this together again. 

I laid close to him under the sheets as we both recovered, James already half asleep. I had his hand in mine, kissing each knuckle of his and more, pouting all of my love into that moment. I looked up, having felt James’ eyes on me for a while. I met his blues, and there was a slight guilt in them, a gestation and regret. But, it didn't last long as he blinked it all away, taking another breath. 

“How are you feeling now? Did it make it any better?” I asked, my voice heavy with sleep as I lazily continued to press kisses to his hand.

“I mean, yeah, I guess… It wasn't like, amazing though… I've had better, normally the groupies can do a bit more than that, y’know?” James said cooly, acting as if the words he just said didn't mean anything and had no weight to them.

“What?” Was all I could muster out, the tears already filling my eyes as I tried to process all of this.

“You heard me, the groupies normally do better.” 

The words came so normally from his mouth, as if he was just telling me the date and time. But no, he was comparing me to prostitutes, previous women he has slept with. I began to cry, not just out of hurt and sadness, but this time anger. How could he say something like that to me?

And then the worst part hit.

He was sober.

Something I would've wanted more than anything else just a few days ago is now what is causing this experience to be even worse than it is with the horrible comparison and insults James had spewn at me. He meant it. Alcohol was toying with his brain, making him into the aggravated man I had grown to know quite well over the years.

“Are… are you serious? After everything? I put myself through hell to deal with this, to go to work, to do EVERYTHING for you! I have tried so hard James. And Yet you still compare me to them?! Sluts with prices on their heads?!” I cried, anger and hurt filling the fire in my eyes, and I could swear I saw Jamw\es’ cold attitude falter for just a moment. Maybe it was what I was hoping for, that it was all an act, that he truly did love me deep down, but maybe he didn't. Maybe this is the truth I had been hiding from all these months.

James didn't res;ond, just sighing with a shrug.

That's what pushed me over the edge.

“Are you fucki ng serious? You're not even gonna try and fight for this? Get out of here! We're done. Since you don't appreciate anything I do for you nowadays, I don't want you in here anymore. Pack your shit and leave.” I cursed at him as I continued to sob, processing the moments that passed, feeling as if the earth was slowing, each second hitting me hard and heavy.

I could see a slight guilt in James’ eyes, and as much I wanted to believe it was true, I couldn't give it in myself to do that anymore. I couldn't keep living this lie. He nodded, staying silent as I cried, slipping on his clothes and grabbing some things he'd need for the night.

“I loved you because you loved me, or so I thought you loved me, truly you don't give a shit!” I called out again, hearing James breath hitch at my harsh words, but he just left. No goodbye, the final words spoken to us only filled with hate and hurt, though millions went unspoken.

— —- — —> A FEW MONTHS LATER…

Not a lot has happened since I broke up with James, but a lot has changed. Maybe for the better. I miss him terribly, but a lot of weight is off of my shoulders now. I'm no longer worrying about having to make elaborate meals for him, or to do everything in my power to make him happy as [possible, watching my words at all times to make sure I wont say anything that might upset him. It was a large change. The house is still cold like how it was with him, but its a different kind of cold. There is no warmth of another body. Its quiet, no more TV static and laughter or guitar. Work had only gotten more tiring, but I had recently gotten promoted, something I had wanted for a long, long time.

I haven't spoken to James since we broke up. I know he had come by the next day, as when he left that night he only took clothes to last him the night, and when I came home from work, all of his belongings were gone, and his spare key was left on the counter, all of his music gear out of the house, leaving me a now empty room, not to house his guitars, and no longer holding the hopes and dreams of a future child.

Or so I thought all of his stuff was gone.

I came home after work, the house dark and silent, turning on the lights before going into the former music room, which had now become my office for the time being, as I needed one for the promotion, to be able to have a comfortable spot where I could do other work tasks from home. I set down my purse, sitting in my computer chair and sliding off my heels. I saw something in the corner of my eye, something that somehow had never caught my eye all these months. 

An ashtray, repurposed to hold James’ many guitar picks. It was behind a lamp that was in the corner of the room on an end table. There was more than just guitar pics, but one of his rings. Like the ones he always wore on stage, the cool reflective metal that shone brightly under the spotlight. I paused, only having gotten one heel off, so confused as to how I never noticed. I sat in this same chair, facing the same direction, taking my heels off the same each day. I quickly got the other off before walking towards the table, picking up the ashtray, having remnants of cigarette butts and ash, some of which covered the pics. There had to be at least 20 of those pics, I don't know how James could forget such a thing, along with one of his more favorite rings. He wore it when we met, but I never made the connection as to that being the reason he left it. I missed him, yes, but having these almost made it worse. Like the world was teasing me that he is gone, that I won't be able to be held by him again, because he doesnt love me anymore. How I still love him, I don't know. Part of me still wants to believe he never meant any of it, but the chances of that being true is slim now. But, I didn't have the heart to call him, to return them to him. He would have come to get them by now, right? 

I picked up the cold metal, holding it in my hand before slipping it on my ring finger. It was too large, slipping off quite easily. I tried the next, my middle finger, and it fit well enough to not fall off. It felt so wrong to wear, but it made me feel closer to him. I hated it, but I loved it. A little piece of him to be with me always. ‘God, I sound like a wife mourning her husband who died in a war.’ Was all I could think to myself, setting back down the ash tray and taking off the ring before sitting back down in my office chair, trying to shake my head of the matter so I could focus on the important task at hand, work.

I spent about two hours on the assignment before finishing it among other things, now exhausted even further. I stumbled towards the bedroom, changing into my pajama pants and a sleep shirt. Since the break up, I have refused to wear or even look at the clothes sJames had bought me. I didn't feel any desire to wear those things now that I knew he would be the one to see me in them. I never really wanted to wear clothes like that, but knowing he liked it made me like it. Now that he's gone, so is that enjoyment. I layed down on the mattress, sinking down as it swallowed me and the day whole. I had gotten used to the loneliness of sleeping alone, even after having a body next to me for the last four years. Maybe it was an easier adjustment as towards the end it was like sleeping next to no one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The last few months are hard to describe. I can't explain it, I really can't. I've never been more lonely in my life, drowning all of my sorrows in the bitter bottles that wasted away each night and day. I've tried putting my energy elsewhere, focusing more on the band than I was earlier, trying to pour my emotions into guitar and lyrics, but nothing works. Nothing matches what I once had. What I threw away. What I ruined. Though, all my life, through all my struggles, there was one thing I learned.

Mask your emotions, hide your turmoil. It's something I had quickly gotten good at from a young age.

Or so I thought.

I went out for drinks with Lars to discuss lyrics and other parts of music for the record, as we normally had for our other productions and everything. We had another few weeks before we went into the studio, where we planned to record for many months, wanting this release to be the best we ever had. 

Before I had even gone out to the bar with Lars, I had already had a few bars at home, or what I had tried to make into my home. It was a home, yeah, but it didn't feel homey. There was no warmth or touch to it to make it seem whimsical or joyful. I know I have a problem, but what is there I can do. 

When I got there, Lars’s car was already outside, and I knew I was late by thirty minutes, having to build up the motivation to leave the house for a reason other than food, so trying to get up and socialize and talk about important stuff was not on my top choices to do.

I trudged in, my eyes darting around for the Danish, who was never that hard to find. And as I expected, I found him somewhat quickly, taking a seat next to him and ordering a drink for myself.

“Hey man, where the fock have you been? Been waiting here ages for ya,” Lars commented with his laugh, sipping on his own drink.

I just shrugged, “Sorry man, there was just…” I tried to think of a reasonable excuse, but none could come to mind. “Traffic, y’know, it gets bad around five or six, all those people getting off of work,” I explained, thinking I was an expert at this facade.

“Alright, whatever you say. Let's get to work now, yeah?” Lars tried to believe me, but it was clear he knew there was something more to what I said. 

I just nodded, “Yeah,” I answered, and Lars took out his notepad where he already had some ideas for songs. The mask was as strong as stone, no way to see in.

Or so I thought.

 Lars looked back to me, a thought popping back in his mind, “Traffic? There's normally not much in this area, I mean before you moved out of that place, shit, traffic was bad, but here? No way,” Lars questioned me, no longer believing a word I had said. 

“Well, I guess it was just different today…” I muttered, “Let's just start now, leave it be,”. Lars agreed reluctantly, and soon we were sharing ideas sas I jotted down lyrics, Lars taking turns as we debated on the new project.

Of course, as we worked, we were drinking. Me more than him, and it was getting me tipsy, and then drunk. Normally we wouldn't get drunk during lyric writing, just a bit.. Wobbly, I guess. We were just reviewing the lyrics for the third song we were jotting up and I had ordered another drink.

“Jesus man, you only focused on drinking? We got shit to do!” Lars complained to me, and I just shrugged. “Sorry, got my priorities here…” I joked, and Lars only gave a pity laugh.

“Is something up? You've been acting weird as hell for the last few months. We barely see you anymore, and when we do, you're late.” He informed me firmly, clearly not wanting to put up with my demeanor much longer.

“I'm fine, didn't I already tell you that?” I responded, and at this point I just wanted to go home. “Well, you can tell me it a million fuckin’ times and that doesnyt mean Ill believe you,” He rebuttled, and I sighed. “So, what's up with you?”

I didn't want to answer, well sober me would've deflected. But drunk me? He doesn't have much of a filter. Who does when they're drunk anyways?

“Nothings up with me, just dealing with shit…” I answered, taking another sip of my drink.

“Ok, well dealing with what?” 

“The breakup, and everything,” I answered, my eyes avoiding Lars’s own.

“Ohh, yeah, I see. What happened anyways? You never went into detail, just saying she kicked you out in the middle of the night. The fuck did you do to her?” He laughed, but the sting of the memories still remained.

“I.. well, I told her she was a shit cook, lazy, didnt work as hard me, and that groupies fuck better,” I admitted. Lars' face changed from a small smile to a look of shock.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah”

“What would make you say something like that?! That's totally messed up!” I knew this would be shocking, especially coming from me to say something like that. But I didn't expect him to be this shocked.

“No, I did it for a reason, I'm not just some asshole! I didn't want to break up with her, and I didnt want her to break up with me, but I knew I had to get her to break up with me. I keep drinking, and it makes me into… I don't know, I'm a different person and I don't want to hurt her. The only option was to force her to break up with me.” I tried to explain, but Lars was quick to respond.

“Only option?! Have you heard of rehab? Getting help? Did she just let you waste away?”

“I didn't want to go to rehab either, and no, she did try to help, but I don't want help…” It was getting embarrassing at this point, showing how weak I had become.

“James, not everything is about what you want! There's things you need to do, but you don't want to. Those are just as important.” He paused, hoping my worlds would process through me as he thought of an idea. “How about this, clean up your act a bit and I'll get her back over here and you can go back to paradise, alright?” Lars offered and I perked up a bit.

“How the hell do you expect her to come back to me after all of that?”

“I never said she'd come back to you, I said I can get her over here, make you guys talk or something.” He corrected me, and I just rolled my eyes.

“Well how are you gonna get her to come here? She probably hates me at this point,” 

“I have my ways, we were closer friends than you probably remember,” Lars’ words didn't help. He could never explain his plan, and that's what always ticked me off about him.

“Fine, whatever, work your midget magic or something,” I muttered under my breath.

“What did you just say to me?” 

“Nothing, nothing, just do whatever it is, alright?” 

“Fine.”

— — — — > A WEEK LATER…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time moves slow these days. But not in a bad way, it was nice that life was hitting the breaks a bit instead of the pedal. Though, that joy wouldn't last long.

I sat in my office chair at work, working on some papers my boss had handed me a few minutes ago. He was giving me stack after stack after stack of papers today, all coming with my promotion I got a bit back. More money means more work, and more work means more money, so I guess it isn't all too bad in the long run. I glanced up from my paper, eyeing the now double repurposed ashtray, one being made for the intents of cigarette butts, then guitar pics, and now it held my keys and some other trinkets, including one singular guitar pic of James, one of his favorites. 

I was startled out of my thoughts by hearing the office phone ring, quickly reaching to grab it, assuming it was a customer call.

“Hi, this is Capital Advisors, how can I help you?” I offered in a cheery tone, but the voice I heard response was not what I had expected.

“Hey man, look, it's Lars, something happened to James, you mind heading down to the studio?”

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Sure, Lars and I were close, but we haven't talked much since James and I’s break up. My words caught in my throat, processing the second half. “Something happened to James? What happened? Is he ok?” Even though he proved himself worthy of a break up, I still couldn't shake my love and worry for him.

“Uhhhh, yeah, no, sure he's fine, but you just needa come to the studio?” Lars rambled, not sure how to keep up his lie.

“Ok, yeah, of course, when do I need to be there?” My mind was racing, Lars wasn't being direct with what happened, so my mind could only think of the worst. He always poland things off to make them not seem as bad as they were. What if James fell and hurt himself? Overdosed on something? Only darker thoughts hit my mind.

“Like, now, this can't wait,” Lars demanded, and I had no choice but to agree.

“Yeah, I will be there as soon as I can, ok? Tell him I’ll be there soon, I don't want him to worry,” I gave in and then Lars thanked me and hung up. 

Now I don't know what to do. My boss wasn't the type of person to just let me leave whenever I want, and I had already promised to Lars I would be there immediately. Though, my worries got the best of me and I quickly began to gather my stuff together. I grabbed my keys and my purse, quickly heading to my boss's office. 

I always hated going in here, it was freezing since the AC was always blasted, and it reeked of musty air freshener. I gently knocked on the door before I heard his baritone voice respond, telling me to come in. I entered, seeing him sitting there, filing papers. 

“Can I help you?” He said in a monotone voice, opening and shutting cabinets.

“Yes, I need to leave, like right now. ITs an emergency, family matter,” I tried to briefly explain, but it didn't take long for him to come up with a new response.

“Emergency? Of what? Is someone dying?” His eyes looked up from his papers, meeting mine as he waited for an answer.

“I… Well, I don't know,” I muttered, and it was true, I really didn't. With Lars’ vagueness, I tru;y didn't have a reason to not assume James was already on his deathbed.

“How can you not know?” He questioned me as if I was stupid, then noticing my pale and shaky look of true worry, “Fine, yes, you can go, but you're leaving three hours early. I want you working those hours back tomorrow. Understood?” He finally made an offer, and I quickly accepted without hesitation.

“Yes, thank you, and I'm sorry,” I responded with a smile and a nod, quickly leaving the office and getting to my car as fast as possible. Lars never specified where exactly the studio was, but I had been there a few times with James to hear them practice and record. I did my best to remember the way there, speeding in some places and having to make a couple U turns to figure out the exact spot. The whole time my head was buzzing, I could not think of one normal reason as to why James would want me there. He clearly didn’t like me much towards the end, even though I still like to think he never meant it and that it was only the alcohol talking, but I was probably wrong. Why did I still care so much after being so wrongfully disrespected? Part of me still loved him. Still wanted to wake up next to him every morning, hear the faint strumming of a guitar whenever I came home from work. Now those days were gone, and never looked like they would return. I still worried for the worst for James, endless horrid possibilities arising in my brain, all trying to piece the puzzle together.

When I finally pulled up, I saw two other cars out in front, not seeing James’ car, assuming Lars gave him a ride and KIrk giving Jason one. No cop cars or ambulances or fire trucks, so he isn't dying, or maybe they already left. Maybe I was too late? 

I quickly got out of the car, almost running to the studio door, knocking until Lars came and opened it for me.

“Hey! There you are, took ya long eno-” Lars was quickly cut off by my own anxieties.

“Where is he? Is he ok? Was I not fast enough?” I quickly voiced out, my eyes darting around the inside and searching for him.

“Yeah, relax. He's fine. He's inside-”

“If he's fine then why did you make me come here from work?! I thought he was dying or something crazy,” I cut him off, questioning his efforts.

“No, none of that, you worry too much. He just wants to talk with you,” Lars answered, and my previous worries and a new suspicion grew in me.

“Just want to talk? Last time I talked with him he was critiquing me! He hates me! He doesn't want anything to do with me!” I voiced the feelings that had been clawing at me for months, never having anyone to tell them to.

“Or so you think. Look, just talk to him, that's all this is, ok?” Lars grew tired of my attitude and clearly I would have to give in soon.

“I want to, I want to talk to him, but I doubt he wants to talk to me,” I responded, trying to further explain my hesitations.

“I just told you that he wants to talk to you! Go in there, please!” Lars pleaded with me, and I sighed, finally agreeing.

“Ok, ok, I will,” I answered, beginning to head into the studio.

“Thank you! He's just down the hall, in that room with the sound equipment and everything,” Lars informed me, and I followed him, seeing James hunched over a table, scribbling down on a piece of paper. My heart was racing now. I hadn't seen him since that night. I didn't know what I would say to him, I was worried what he would say to me.

Then he looked up at me.

His cold, piercing blue eyes, a newfound softness in them as our eyes met. I avoided his eyes, but felt his lingering on me. Lars guided me in, shutting the door behind himself, leaving us alone. I was unsure of what to say, my eyes lingering on the floor, hearing James set down his pen.

“Uh… hi…” He started, probably just as unsure as I was.

“Hi,” I responded back shyly, avoiding his gaze, though I could still feel his own on me. The sound of footsteps approached me, instantly recognizing them as James’, and then I heard a click. Lars had locked us in here, now forced to talk.

“I.. I'm sorry, I really am,” He mumbled, and I looked up at him, seeing a true guilt in his eyes, “I wish I didn't do it, that I didn't say those things, that I didn't make you hurt so much like that… I should’ve been much more, well, mature about it. I feel like shit for everything,” James explained to me, but this only caused me to have more and more questions.  

“What do you mean?” I asked, my voice still a hushed whisper as a wave of various emotions crashed down on me. “I had reasons for what I did, I just wish I went about it differently. I wish I had listened to you when you had offered me help. I didn't want to hurt you with my habits, and I couldn't break up with you, I didn't want to be the one to do that, so… so I tried to make you break up with me, and you did. Everything I said, it was a lie. I never meant it. You're a great cook, you work hard, you're just… you're amazing, you're too good for me.” James confessed, and I could feel a bit of the cold melt away, though still a hurt in my heart.

“Then why make me come and tell me all of this? This would only pour salt in that wound, no?” I was still confused at why he would make such an effort, but I still found it touching.

“Because I still love you. I want things back the way they were. I swear on everything, I've changed. I miss you more than anything-” I cut him off with a sweet kiss to his lips, and he melted into me, wrapping his arms around me in a comforting and loving embrace.

After James pulled away, he looked me in my eyes, “How could you forgive me for saying all of that to you?” He began, “Id think you would just… hate me, I was a total jerk,”

“Or so you'd think. I still love you and miss you more than you could imagine,” I responded with a  small smile, and James matched mine, kissing me again. “Can… can I show you how much I've missed you?” James asked in a mumbled tone, clearly a bit embarrassed. My cheeks heated up at his offer and I giggled, nodding as our lips met a third time, a new hunger and desire now displayed. Slowly, he walked me to the table until I had backed up into it, his hands trailing up my sides until we broke away, his lips now going down my neck, eliciting a needy whine from the back of my throat, my hands pulling him closer, snaking under his shirt to trace his skin. 

James’s fingers slipped under my shirt, working to get it off of my head, leaving my neck for only a second to remove the fabric before attaching himself to my sensitive flesh, feeling him suck and nibble, definitely leaving bruises. He gave a more harsh bite, causing me to whimper, then soothing it over with his tongue before pulling away. Soon his gaze focused on my breasts, still confined with my bra. His eyes met mine again, “Can I take it off?” He asked ,already reaching around my back to work on the clasp, which had become an easy task for him. I nodded, and soon the garment was now on the floor with my shirt. The cold air caused my nipples to erect immediately, and James’ eyes were locked on them, cupping the in his hands as he squeezed them and pinched at my nipples, making me make high needy sounds, causing him to smirk, kissing around the soft flesh, teasing me with every movement he made. 

I began to claw at his shirt, trying to take it off of him, so he reluctantly pulled away from my chest, removing his own shirt, giving me a view I had missed more than I care to admit. My eyes dragged slowly over the newly exposed skin, and his lips crashed down on mine again, pushing me back so far I was now laying down on the table, the cold wood causing goosebumps to rise on my skin. I tugged at James’ pants, feeling myself grow wetter at the moment. He slipped down his pants, leaving him in only his boxers as you pulled down my skirt, leaving me in only my panties. I could see the bulge in his final layer grow at the new sight, and then he got on his knees, gripping the sides of my aunties and taking them off in a swift motion, leaving my glistening folds exposed to his hungry view.. His warm lips teased my thighs, kissing around the area I needed him most, making me writhe with desire. Eventually, his tongue found my center, giving it soft licks at first, parting my folds with his tongue. A moan escaped my throat, and James took it as his sign to keep going, burying his face between my thighs. He licked and sucked at my hole, probing at it with his tongue as his nose nudged my sensitive clit. My hand snaked into his long blonde locks, gripping his scalp tightly as I pulled him closer. I could hear him groan into my flesh, causing a vibration to coarse through me, making me moan again as I came closer to my first high. Eventually James moved further up, giving more attention to my aching clit, giving it gentle licks first to tease me before sucking it into his mouth, biting it softly, making me squeal from his ministrations.

“Jamei, fuck, Im gonna cum,” I whined out, tugging on hair harder, causing him to let out another low groan as he continued to feast on me. “Cum for me pretty girl,” He mumbled into my flesh, and like that my orgasm washed over me, a breathy moan falling my lips, feeling my core pulsate , releasing my grip on James’ head, allowing him to pull back.

James chin was drenched in my essence and his spit, some caught in his facial hair, wiping it off on the back of his hand. I dont think Ive seen anything hotter. His eyes landed on mine, and I noticed a lustful darkness in them, kissing me again as our tongues tangled in a battle for dominance, James winning in the end, and soon his boxers were on the ground, both of us bare in front of each other again.

JAmes broke the kiss, trailing his lips down my neck, leaving new hickeys and bruises in his wake as they now peppered my neck. I felt his tip at my entrance and I squirmed, his lips leaving my bruised flesh. “You ready, baby?” He asked, taking my hand in his, and I nodded, feeling him slowly push into me, the stretching sensation stinging my insides, a delicious stretch my body had missed as I tried to accommodate his size. Once he was to the hilt, I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding, squeezing his hand tightly.

I gave him a look of a need, and he gook note, slowly beginning to pump his hips, untwining our fingers as he positioned himself with better support, placing his arms on either side of my head. With every thrust a moan escaped my throat, tears pricking at my eyes from the pleasure. “Fuck, you’re so tight… haven't had anything since me, hmmm?” James whispered to me, and I could only whine in response, his calloused fingers sneaking down to my clit, brushing the bud lightly with the pad of thumb, and I began to squirm around his cock, feeling his thrusts increase with speed, more grunts falling from James.

The table I laid on creaked beneath from our frevorus movements of need, completely forgetting we were still in the studio. The band was still in that studio. This room wasn't for recording, very little sound blockers. Anyone in this building could hear us. The thought didn't pass my mind once throughout the whole experience, only focused and becoming closer with James once again, not just in body, but in our connection reforming with every minstration from either of us.

James' thrusts grew relentless, only increasing the pleasure for both of us as he chased his own high, helping me with mine, continuing to toy with and stroke my clit, moans and whines leaving me with any movement he made. “So pretty like this, baby, taking me so well,” He groaned, his small grunts and moans filling my ears like sweet music. I began to buck my hips, knowing that my orgasm was approaching, James not far behind, his vocal expression of pleasure growing in number and volume, mixing with my own mewls and moans, that and the sound of skin slapping skin filling the room, my nails clawing his back.

My eyes began to roll back, James’ name falling from my lips a thousand times as my legs wrapped around his waist, trying to pull him deeper to finally bring me to edge. James noticed and thrusted harder, hitting that special spot with every movement, making me have to cover my mouth with my hand, the unholy noises escaping me growing too loud for us to stay secret. James disapproved, “Mmmm, don't do that baby, let me hear you cum around my cock,” He cooed, and that was all the encouragement I needed to come over the edge, a high pitched moan coming from me, feeling my walls clamp down on James’ length, pulsating as waves of pleasure cascaded over me. James helped me ride through it, still rubbing my sensitive nub, his thrusts losing rhythm as he approached his own high.

“Fuck, sweetie, gonna cum inside you…” He grunted, his pace increasing as his movement became erratic with pleasure. “Take it, take it like a good girl, baby,” He moaned, his load shooting deep inside of me and painting my walls white with his seed. His hips sputtered, bucking into me as he collapsed on top of me, our sweaty foreheads clinging together as we both recovered from the intense orgasms, trying to catch our breath. James pressed soft, lazy kisses around my face, reminding me how much he loved me and how he'd never hurt me again if given the chance.

After a moment, we both had come down from our highs, James’ softening member sliding out of me with a pop. He looked down at the mess between my thighs, all evidence of our pleasure with each other. “Youre fuckin’ perfect,” He muttered, his eyes dragging over me.

“Are the groupies still better?” I teased him, remembering our bickering that was one real, or so I thought it was real fighting.

“Oh, hell no, they don't stand a chance to this,” He responded with a smile, and I smiled back.

We cleaned up, slipping back on our clothes so we were somewhat presentable. Only now did the realization that we were never once alone in this studio and the rest of the band was outside had hit me. A wave of embarrassment flowed over me, my cheeks flushing even more than they were before given the previous activities. Both James and I looked quite disheveled, our hair a mess and clothes wrinkled. I tried to shake off whatever nervousness I had in me as James put his arm around me. We went to reach for the door handle, only to find out it was still locked. Now it would be even more awkward. James knocked on the door from the inside, calling out to Lars, or anyone else in the studio.

“Guys? Lars? Can someone unlock the door?” And it wasn't long before footsteps approached, hearing a key click as the door swung open, Lars, more curious than ever eyed both my own and James’ appearance, noticing the hickeys, the slight wobble I gave, and any other imperfections that we might have displayed.

“I take it you two worked things out?”

— — — — > A FEW WEEKS LATER…

It had taken some time, a lot of talking, and more than just one hook up for James and I to work out any other issues that we had with each other. We met up a lot in the recent weeks after that, discussing different ways on how to help James with his drinking, and just trying to regain eachothers trust.

Soon enough though, James had moved back in with me. I kept my office space, but now the room was split in two halves. I worked in one half, while James did his guitar work in the other half. It was a fairly large room, so we both had our own spaces and rarely bothered each other. If I had a work call or anything that required silence, James would just migrate to the living room.

It was the same old schedule we had all those months ago, and I was now returning from work. It was Friday, now I would have plenty of time to relax and be with James. I pulled into the driveway, parking and getting out of my car as I walked up to the porch, the click of my heels following my steps on the cement. The lights were on, the door unlocked. I could hear a faint strumming coming from inside, meaning James was hard at work on new material for the album. It was my favorite thing to listen to while doing work assignments at home.

I walked in with a huff, setting down my purse and keys on the counter before heading to the shared office space. James wasn't playing much, just sounded like scales and chords for his warm ups. “How was work, baby?” James greeted me, still focused on his guitar. “It was a bit tiring, but it was good. I think my boss is starting to like me,” I answered, settling into my chair. He nodded in response, going back to fiddling with the strings.

It wasn't until a little later a soft, sweet and melodic tune had hit my ears. Much different than what Metallica normally plates. James hummed along to it, almost like he had lyrics already written out. But knowing him, he probably did.

“What are you playing? It sounds really nice,” I started, listening to a few more notes before continuing, “It's not what you guys normally play,” I commented, and James let out a deep hum in response. “Just something new I'm working on,” He replied, and I nodded, getting back to work.

Only this time, I couldn't focus. Normally James’s music helped me to focus, becoming a comforting background noise. This time though, I couldn't get my mind off of that melody. He kept going, and each second I kept getting more and more captivated by it. 

“That songs really pretty, I like it,” I said, scribbling down whatever notes I couldnt on a piece of paper. “Thanks, it's actually, uhm..” He trailed off, and I knew something was up. I spun around in my chair, going to face him. “It's what?” I asked, confused by his shy demeanor. 

“It's called ‘Nothing Else Matters’,” He stated, finally stopping picking at the strings. “Nothing Else Matters?” I repeated, connecting whatever the lyrics might be in my head to the melody. Normally their slower, melodic songs were dark and heavy topics, so I expected the same with this one.

“Yeah,” James answered, “I wrote the lyrics about you, actually,” He muttered softly, though I still picked it up. “About me?” I questioned, slightly shocked. “Yeah… I've thought a lot about, well, everything recently. Ever since that point a few months back I've reflected and everything… Rumors spread, and I just want everyone out there to get the right idea,” He paused, searching for the right words, “I want people out there to know that you're all I care about, you mean more than the world to me, and I want everyone to know that,” He stated, his tone true and emotional. I had never heard him say sweeter words to me, and I knew that he was speaking nothing other than the truth, I could see it in his eyes, there's a way to read people, and James wasn't easy to read, but you soon could learn the lingo.

“That means a lot to me, Jamie,” I answered, smiling at him. I got up from my chair to sit next to him on the couch, leaning against him. “Thank you,” I said, kissing him on the cheek. “You don't need to thank me, sweetheart,” James responded, wrapping his arm around me.

And now, I knew my whole world was whole again. What was once hatred, or so I thought was hatred, was once again love, everything as it should be.

[burst-of-iridescent]

I'm writing this as a big Katara stan. I just found out that a new film about an adult Gaang is planned to be released, and Katara, like Aang, will be given a leading role there. I am so excited and glad that finally Katara will be given due respect as a character!

But for some reason, after searching on Tumblr, I saw joy about a new film in the entire Atla fandom except for our zutara community. on the contrary, there is a lot of discontent and bitterness. But why is that? Is it because zutara won't be in the movie? Well, yes, zutara is a fanon ship, it will never be anywhere but our fanfics and fanart. But after all, Zutara is not in the original ATLA show, and we still love it! This is no reason not to rejoice at the opportunity to see our favorite characters on the screen again, to see Katara again (God, I'm screaming with delight😍😍😍😍). Yes, there is a chance that the writing will be bad, but there is always such a chance before the release of any film. I'm just so happy to see Katara again, and the whole gaang too, and her new design for this movie seems so great to mе!

i mean this genuinely, anon: i love that you love katara so much, and i am really happy for you that you're looking forward to the new movie. i truly hope you enjoy it.

i don't want to speak for the rest of zutara fandom, but i can't share your feelings because - to put it point-blank - i don't trust the creators with katara's character. ever since they lost their writing team, nothing they've created post-atla has proven to me that they understand katara's character, or how to create a good arc for her. it's telling that the only post-canon comic featuring a decent story for katara (katara and the pirate's silver) came out in 2020, twelve years after the original show ended (and which was also, notably, the first comic that bryan and mike were not involved with).

i'm sure some people are salty that they won't see canon zutara, but personally i'm relieved that i won't have to see bry.ke ruin romantic zutara like they did with their friendship post-atla. i'm sure they'll do their damnedest to fuck up what remains of zuko and katara's platonic relationship in the new movie, which is why canon ended for me with the final agni kai. no magic pointy rock or canon ships in this household, thank you.

i wish i could share your excitement for the movie anon, but i just don't have faith in bryan and mike to do justice to the characters (especially zuko and katara) after everything they've said and created over the last decade. like really, calling zuko a bad boy in the year of our lord 2023? please watch your own show.

besides, nothing they can do for katara in this movie will retcon what they did to her in LOK. i already know she ends up as a sad, lonely housewife without any real power, impact or legacy; that can't be changed, no matter how they try to "fix" it. it looks like the movie has been delayed so my hope is that it just gets cancelled in production. atla has been milked to filth anyway; leave the og characters alone and do something new with the universe, or just let it rest in peace and find another story to tell.

[multifandomfanficss]

Stuck With You

Adrian Chase/Vigilante x Reader

Adrian Chase Masterlist

Prompt: When the team sticks their newest member with Vigilante, everyone feels bad for you, but you’re grateful to have him around when you run into something from your past and lose your cool.

Warnings: panic attacks, human experimentation, referenced child abuse

A/N: I found a couple lines of dialogue in my drafts that I never did anything with and I had the writing bug today so I decided to finally make something with it! I’ll crosspost it on my AO3 adriansglasses as well. Hope you enjoy!

“(L/N), you’re with Vigilante.” Harcourt says, at the beginning of the meeting.

“You’re really gonna stick the newest person with that psycho?” John asks.

“You don’t need to be mean to Adrian just because he’s not here.” Leota starts.

“I would say it to his face too. He’d probably just laugh and call me his 4th best friend.” John retorts.

You hadn’t been with the team for long. This was your first mission with them. After a mission gone too out of control, Waller sent you to the middle of nowhere Evergreen, Washington. You thought she’d sent you here because the environment would be less hectic, but the longer you’re there, the more you realize she probably sent you here because everyone on this team is either highly traumatized or in need of more experience. She was trying to put the training wheels back on. From what you’d been told by the team’s top conspiracy theorist, Christopher Smith, this team was originally supposed to be an expendable scapegoat, but they ended up saving the world. You had no idea what to believe at this point.

“What’s up with Vigilante?” You ask, wondering why this was all such a hot topic. You hadn’t known him for long. He seemed a little odd, but overall fine. If you were being honest you actually kind of liked him. He was sweet and funny, often without trying. There was this comforting air about him and you didn’t really know why. He was a good fighter and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t think he was at least a little bit cute.

“He’s a little…” Chris started moving his finger in a circular motion, trying to insinuate that Adrian was crazy.

“He can’t be that bad.” You smile.

Suddenly Adrian comes running into the old video store tripping over one of his shin guards that wasn’t on properly. He sits down and fastens it.

“Sorry I’m late, guys. They kept me late at the restaurant and then when I was trying to put on my suit in the car I accidentally ran a red light and usually I would kill somebody for that, but I mean I think the more important thing is that I didn’t run over the old lady crossing the street! She was totally fine and I know she’s alive because she screamed at me…I’ve never seen an old lady use to many swear words. It was kind of awesome! Anyway what did I miss?”

“You put on your suit while driving?” Leota asks.

“Yup.” He gives a straight face nod. Adrian often had a way about him, as if what he was thinking should be obvious to other people, when in fact, it was not obvious to most people most of the time.

“You amaze me.” Harcourt says, sarcastically.

“Thank you.” Adrian smiles, not catching her sarcasm.

She rolls her eyes, sighing.

———————————————————————

Later on that night you and Adrian found yourselves walking through a series of tunnels.

“John, I think we might be lost.” You spoke into your coms, hoping he can help you from the van.

“I can’t even hear you in my earpiece and I’m right next to you. I think we lost the signal.” Adrian walks in silence for a few seconds before adding, “I’m sorry you got stuck with me.” He looks at the ground, sad.

“What are you talking about?”

“I know they stuck you with me. Nobody ever really chooses to be my partner.” He lightly kicks a rock, pretending not to be bothered.

“They did pair us up, but that doesn’t mean I was disappointed.” You smile.

“Really? Why would you want me?”

“Well first of all, you’re a great fighter. You were also the first person to attempt to be my friend. I’d trust you in the field over anyone.”

“Really?” You can hear the surprise in his voice.

“Yeah.” You let out a soft giggle. “Why are you so surprised that I like you?”

“Usually everyone just tells me to shut up or fuck off.”

“Well I’m not everyone.” You nudge him playfully as you walk.

Soon you come upon a door. It’s a little rusted, but Adrian shoots the lock off and you’re able to break in.

“What is this place?” He asks.

As soon as you walk inside you see the tubes, the files, the devices, the tables, the symbols. You know exactly what this is. This is an old facility for the for the group that made you leave your old job, the mission that ruined your life. You see files on the table, files no doubt full of details on the children they were experimenting on. The group would take orphaned children or children who were abandoned and unwanted, kids who had no one to protect them, and they would experiment on them. They were human trials to try to find new ways of making superheroes. This must have been one of their old abandoned facilities. Despite the lab being inactive, just the sight of it was still enough to send you into a spiral.

Your heart starts beating rapidly as you grow dizzy. You look down at your shaking hands. You’re starting to lose control of your breathing.

“I- I can’t-“ You walk backwards out of the room, starting to hyperventilate.

“Woah. Hey, what’s going on? Are you having a panic attack?” Adrian slowly puts his hands out towards you. He’s a little unsure of what to do.

“I’ve seen this before!” Your entire world is spinning as your start to cry. You can’t stop thinking about the awful things you saw when you snuck into their active facility earlier this year. Those poor children. Part of you was starting to wonder if Waller put you on this team for a reason. You should have known better than to think she was giving you a break. Waller always had some sort of fucked up motive that only worked for herself hidden up her sleeve. “I can’t fucking breathe!” You sob, sucking in air.

“Tender nice touching.” Adrian slowly approached you, patting your shoulder. You needed pressure on your body. You felt like you were slipping away from earth and you needed to be held down.

“Can I have a hug?” You asked, quietly.

“You want a hug?” He asked, his voice just as quiet. He was speaking softly to not startle you further.

“Yeah…”

“I think I can do that.“ He smiles, slowly bringing you into his arms. A little loose at first, he tightened the hug as you melted into him.

“I’m sorry- I- I just…I know what the did here and- and-“ Adrian shushes you as you begin to stutter, your mind moving much faster than your mouth is able to.

“You’re okay. You’re safe. I’ve got you. Just breathe with me. Don’t focus on anything else, but your breathing okay? Can you feel me breathing?” He rubs your back as you cry into his arms. You nod. “Okay, good. Just…just follow that.” He sighs and then focuses on making his own breathing something you can follow.

“Sometimes it’s hard for me to know what people on the team want because I know Chris doesn’t wanna look weak and Harcourt would kill me if I touched her, so I try to be careful. I just don’t wanna upset you guys more, but if you want me hold you I can keep doing that. Just let me know what you need and I’ll do it.” He says, softly.

“Can you just keep talking?” You ask. The sound of his voice is soothing and grounding.

“You want me to keep talking?” He smiles. “You’re in luck. I’m actually really good at talking. So good, in fact, that people are constantly asking me to shut up. So uh… What can I talk about? Oh! I know. So I have this friend at work. His name is Taylor. Well, he says we’re not friends, but he texts me all time time asking me to help cover his shifts and I would only trust a friend enough to ask them for that, so I think we’re friends. Anyway, so Taylor walked in this morning and…”

The longer Adrian rambles on the better you feel. The pressure of his body on yours and his voice slowly bring you back to earth. Eventually you find yourselves walking back through the tunnels, hand in hand, retracing your steps as he guides you back to the van to regroup. He keeps you distracted with silly stories the entire walk back.

You don’t know what the rest of your team was talking about. Adrian was the best partner you could have had.

[rarityroo]

Hi there!! Is there anyway where we could get a Ragatha x reader. Where the reader comforts Ragatha who starts to feel somewhat unappreciated by some of the other members of the circus. Maybe the reader could give Ragatha a small present they working on just for her to show her she does have someone who cares and appreciates her. Please I just want her to feel some form of love and appreciation. She is legit such a sweat heart and I wanna tell her how amazing she is.😭😭😭

Giving thanks

Ragatha x Gn!reader

Hi! This seems like such a great idea, I literally stayed up until 1AM to finish it. I agree Ragatha is such a sweetie she deserves the best, also in this fic she has a small mental breakdown but it’s all okay because the reader is a sweetheart. Enjoy!

A simple thank you would have been enough, that's all she wanted. She wanted the others to finally notice all the mental and physical help she gave. The comfort she provided to Pomni when she first arrived, whenever Gaggle's mask broke because Jax made the trip. Ragatha always made sure to help. When Zooble or Kinger were having a rough day she’d take time out of her day just to make them feel better. She never minded doing it, until now at least.

Ragathas posture was slumped with tiredness and her shoulders were stiff showing her stress. She sat in her room contemplating, she felt so out of it. All she wanted was for someone to notice the effort she offered every day.

You could tell Ragatha was distressed, at first you thought she just felt like being quiet, you had days like that yourself but today felt different she seemed somewhat depressed. Her pretty smile gone and her chipper attitude deflated. It made you sad to see her that way, you hoped a small gift would lift her spirits, a red paper flower, it was a similar red to her hair and just thinking about it made a small smile grow on your face. But first, you wanted to make sure she was okay, she was the backbone of this circus and God knows without her we would all be lost.

You made your way to her room hesitantly flower in hand and approached her room quietly, you softly knocked on the door, not to startle her. "Hey, Ragatha," you said softly, your voice holding concern.

You heard a muffled shuffle in the room, then her door slightly opened, only being able to see part of her face, "Oh, uh hello," she murmured awkwardly, forcing a weary smile.

"I noticed you've been off lately," You said, gently “Are you alright?” You asked, it felt like such a silly question, clearly, she wasn’t alright she’d been avoiding everyone all day.

“I-um well-“ Ragatha stumbled over her words, nobody had asked her that in a while, that thought alone hit her like a title wave of emotions. She started to break down, and through broken sobs, she barely choked out, “I just, I’ve been doing so much and no one has shown an ounce of gratitude!" “I’ve done so much and it feels like it’s for nothing, no matter what I do it’ll never be noticed…” You looked at her with wide eyes, is this really how she felt this whole time? How could you not notice? “Ragatha..” you use your hand to push up her chin so she can look you in the eyes. “I hear you. It's completely understandable that you're feeling this way. Trust me when I say your kindness and support haven't gone unnoticed, even if it may have seemed that way. We all rely on you more than you might realize, and your efforts haven't gone unappreciated. You're not alone in this, and I'm here to support you, just like you've supported everyone else.", “Here, I have a gift for you.” You said bashfully, “I know it’s not the prettiest thing in the world but I was hoping it was enough to make you feel a bit better.”

With trembling fingers, Ragatha carefully took the paper flower. Tears welled up in her eyes as she realized the effort that went into it. Finally, even if it was as small as this it was still so perfect.

"It's... it's beautiful," she managed to choke out, her voice thick with emotion.

You smiled warmly. "I wanted to express my gratitude for everything you do," "You're always there for others, offering comfort and support. Your kindness hasn't gone unnoticed, Ragatha."

Ragatha's heart swelled with warmth as she looked at the gift in her hands. At that moment, she felt a wave of adoration wash over her, lifting the weight of loneliness from her shoulders.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion. "Thank you for seeing me, for hearing me, for understanding."

As Ragatha looked at the thoughtful gift before her, "It’s so lovely," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. “Something you both got in common" you replied, God that was embarrassingly sappy, Ragatha let out a sweet laugh, leaning in closer, your eyes locked on hers. "Seriously though please know that I care about you, Ragatha. More than you'll ever know."

Ragatha's breath caught in her throat as she felt the warmth of your hand on hers, her heart racing with nervousness. "I... I care about you too," she finally admitted, a shy smile spreading across her face.

She finally had someone who cared, someone who appreciated her for the kind-hearted soul she was.

And in that simple gesture of kindness, Ragatha found the love and appreciation she had been yearning for all along.

[pommunist]

Hey! I'm sending this to you since you seems quite attached to pomme, you'll possibly understand a little what I'll say here ^^ (you are not obligated to respond or anything, you can delete if you want!)

I can't help but feel a litter bitter at the ccs and community being sad, saying goodbye to their eggs, and closing theirs character's arc. I'l very happy for them that they could have closure and a real end, but it's bittersweet when some of the eggs disappeared without having the opportunity to say goodbye... I would have love to have just a little reunion or some closure for the French ccs arc

Also seeing the ccs and viewers regret the eggs, while they had the possibility to see them once more, reunite, and even close with peace this chapter, I feel sad and left out that we didn't got that and that a lot of people acted as if nothing changed before... Now that all the eggs are gone, people talk about the "end of qsmp", but I guess it wasn't that important when it was only the French that were left out :(

I still send a lot of confort for everyone struggling right now, I had this feeling in march when we lost the French admins, and I hope everyone will be fine in the end, and continue to follow all the wonderful streamers we met <3

hey anon ! i would be lying if i said i don’t share some of your feelings that you expressed and tbh there was multiple times when i wanted to rant about this but then it hit me like what’s the point ?

misery won’t feel better if more people are miserable with us, we’re all losing something in this anyway, let’s at least be happy in the community we have because there’s not much else left 🥲

i understand people who kept hoping, who kept following the server because they still wanted to enjoy their favorite characters and their stories. i’m glad that those who got to have a somewhat proper ending were able to have it, even if i wish others could have had the same opportunity.

also i feel like a lot of people kept hope because there was still some things that could be saved and rebuilt on if qstudios decided to get their shit together and fix their wrongs, but it feels more final now. even I who stopped watching since lea first spoke up i still wished that things could get better, even if i would stop being a part of it

and hey let’s look at the bright side, a lot of people are sad now but we got a headstart on grieving 😎 catch up everyone ! /j

one thing I’m hoping for is that even if QSMP was to like fully fully end, people would keep holding Qstudios accountable for their treatment of the admins until they rights their wrongs !

also fuck yeah everyone let’s keep watching the wonderful ccs even if they dont play on the server, not only are they great streamers but also it’s an amazing opportunity to learn languages yippeee

[softxsuki]

hi! i would like to request a letter for your Valentines Day Letter Event? if it’s possible, i’d like a third year kageyama with fem!Reader please. i would like if he called me 'honey' in the letter! we’ve been friends through highschool years (maybe we were seat mates, and progressively got closer) and we’re about to graduate so he finally confesses his love for me. for tone and genre it’d be great an adoration and pure fluff, where he feels stupid for not realizing his feelings earlier and talks about his fascination over reader. location: we still are seat mates, so he leaves it in my desk before leaving for training, along with some candy. xtra info: we’re both 17/18, i’m constantly described as sunny and clever, so i kind of help him a lot academically, and like to go see him play. thank you in advance, i hope you have great valentines

Kageyama's Confession Letter to His Friend

This event is now CLOSED, but you can view the masterlist for the other letters here.

| Pairing: Kageyama x Fem!Reader| Genre: Fluff| Post-Type: Letter| Word Count: 730|

Warnings: a kiss

Note: Hey, thanks! Happy Valentine's Day, hope you enjoy your letter from Kageyama!

You wave goodbye to Kageyama as he heads to volleyball practice like usual, though he looks nervous and runs out before giving you a second glance like he usually did at the end of the day. 

Though, you shrug and go to your desk to get your things and that’s when you see the envelope and a small box of chocolates in a heart box on your desk. Did you have a secret admirer? It was Valentine's Day after all, but you weren’t expecting to actually receive anything from anyone. You carefully open the envelope and read it’s contents;

Y/N,

Uh Happy Valentine’s Day. 

We’re already seniors and soon we’ll be going our separate ways to university and following our dreams. But before that, there’s something I’ve been meaning to say to you. I was stupid for letting it go this far without saying anything, but I can’t pretend like all I feel for you is friendship. 

I hate this feeling in my chest whenever other guys come up to you. What if they jump in before I decide to finally grow a pair and tell you first? 

Y/N…I like you, I have liked you for a while now despite how hard I tried to push those feelings away. I thought maybe volleyball was the only thing I’d be able to hold in my heart, but you’ve managed to squeeze yourself in and I can’t seem to get you out of my head. 

I know it’s stupid and you don’t have to return my feelings. But I’d be an idiot to just let you go without saying what I truly feel.

You’ve managed to deal with an idiot like me this long, helping me in the classes I struggle with so I don’t get banned from playing Volleyball. You’re the reason I’ve been able to pass all my classes and stay in Karasuno.

I know it seems sudden, I tried my best to act normally around you, but I can’t hold it in any longer. You don’t know how hard I’ve held myself back during our games when we win. My eyes automatically look for you first to see if you’re looking back, which you always are…

I hate how cheesy it is for me to say all this on Valentine’s Day, but you seemed sad last year when the other girls received chocolates and other trinkets from their admirers. Even if you don’t feel the same way, then please keep the chocolates anyway. 

That’s all I wanted to say. Do with these words as you please, you know where to find me if you feel the same.

Tobio.

Your feet quickly carry you to the gym where you knew his team was currently practising for an upcoming match. You burst into the gym, out of breath, causing all eyes to turn to you as you walk up to Kageyama and drag him away from you, muttering apologies to his team but asking for a minute of his time.

Kageyama grumbles, his face going red as you walk him out of the gym for a little more privacy, away from the curious eyes of his team. He’s about to scold you for just dragging him away like that without warning, even though he really didn’t mind, he was just freaking out. Were you going to yell at him for liking you? Or maybe you were going to say he made you uncomfortable and didn’t want to be his friend anymore. He’d never been this nervous before.

Seeing the internal battle in his eyes, you ease his thoughts by leaning in and kissing him quickly on the lips. 

“Of course I’ll be yours. You should have told me sooner. I thought I was the only one feeling this way,” you breathe out, almost amused.

His ears are bright red from the kiss and he awkwardly rubs the back of his neck, yet his stomach is in a jumble of knots.

“Then uh, you wanna stick around so we can go out after practice?” He asks, unsure of himself.

You nod in agreement, letting him go back to practice while you watch. He’s very new at this, you’re the first person he’s ever been with. It’ll definitely take some time for him to be more comfortable and confident in your new relationship, but he’s beyond happy about being with you now. He won't mess this up.

Posted: 2/14/2024

[creative-kny-fics]

hi! I really enjoy reading your work! 🫧 if you are open for requests, may I please ask for lers!Zenitsu and Inosuke and lee!Muichiro? It's a bit of an unconventional ler/lee grouping 🙈 but I imagine they'd all become friends anyways, right?? So I was thinking about the upcoming new season, and it sucks that the manga doesn't show how Zenitsu and Inosuke fare during any of the hashira training... it only shows them for Gyomei's training, and I think Sanemi's a bit as well? So I was wondering how they would react to our adorable little shit, Tokito-kun! I was thinking how Mui would roast them so badly, with Zenitsu crying about how harsh he is while Inosuke gets furious at all of Mui's sassy remarks and can't stop challenging him to fight (which he always loses, I'm sorry Inosuke). Their pride and dignity would have definitely been destroyed by his sassiness, and Zenitsu's crying would definitely serve as fuel for more sassy comments 😭 even more so, getting beaten by a 14 year old would have not been easy to accept! But they suddenly remember Tanjiro mentioning how the Mist hashira is ticklish... So when its time for them to eventually move on to the next hashira, they decide to leave Muichiro a little parting gift: payback tickles! Inosuke especially is so happy that he can finally defeat Muichiro (not at fighting... but its at least something that he won against Mui!) And they run away before Muichiro can recover, but I'm sure he must be planning his revenge 🤣 Thats it, I hope you like it 🥹 but as always, there is absolutely no pressure to accept the request, please feel free to decline if need be ☺️ hope you have a good day/night! 🫧

Gentle reminder that Inosuke's crow is afraid of him because he tried to eat it jagsjagajsh

Lers: Zenitsu Agatsuma and Inosuke Hashibira

Lee: Muichiro Tokito

'Do you really think I believe that you were only training with a pillar for 5 days...? I think you're training so much that you're already hallucinating...', well, we couldn't blame Zenitsu.

A hashira training only for 5 days?! Impossible to believe! But let's remember that Tanjiro is not one of the people who lies, that Zenitsu not believing him was already his problem.

Anyway, was Tanjiro accompanying Zenitsu and Inosuke? Well, for the protection of Chuntaro and Matsuemon, who got scared when Inosuke started chasing them because he wanted to eat them.

'TOKITO-SAN!! GOOD MORNING!!' 'And now who bothers me in the middle of training? You guys don't move, while I attend to my visit I want you to stay training, is that clear to you?'

Eeeeem, I think Muichiro didn't learn that much from last time...

'Yes? Huh? Ooooh Tanjiro! How are you?! What brings you here?!'

'A quick visit, and also to show Zenitsu and Inosuke where your estate was. I asked Miss Kanroji for permission to leave her class for a moment and do so, so I should come back now. Take care of yourselves, I wish you luck! Try hard!', Tanjiro ran away

As soon as Tanjiro left, Muichiro's expression changed again, demanding that Inosuke and Zenitsu enter his estate to start training.

'Are you sure Tanjiro is your friend...?' 'WHY DO YOU SAID SO?!'

'I'm saying this because you guys aren't on his level... Tanjiro at least defended himself against my attacks and kept up with me, while you guys aren't even close to touching me, you're so fucking weak...', *sigh*, yes, Muichiro didn't understand anything at all.

Zenitsu had to hold Inosuke back, if there was something Inosuke hated, it was being told he was weak, and what right did he have?!

If it hadn't been bad enough for them before, it was now. Because they were friends with Tanjiro, Muichiro had some compassion, but now it was nothing like that, even the other slayers present were sad to see how both teenagers lowered themselves to the level of a child.

'THIS IS PATHETIC, THAT DAMN BRAT IS NOT GOING TO BEAT ME!! I AM THE GREAT GOD OF THE MOUNTAIN!! I BEAT AN UPPERMOON!!' 'He too, and he did it alone. Without help. He killed the UpperMoon 5, besides, we just helped, we didn't defeat them. Stop complaining, you're hurting my ears...', you can tell by Zenitsu's seriousness now that the training didn't go well at all.

How stupid, it was impossible for Tanjiro to have lasted those 5 days with that child, but up to this point in the training nothing surprised him anymore.

Tanjiro decided to pay a quick visit, he wanted to see how well his friends had done.

'I see, Tokito-Kun has been being rather bossy, huh?' 'HAH?! HE'S NOBODY TO GIVE ME ORDERS, I WILL DEFEAT HIM!!'

'Well, since I can't stay here for so long, may I ask you for something? This will also help Tokito-Kun be nicer to you', well, they were interested in that.

Zenitsu couldn't believe what Tanjiro was asking them, he wanted them to tickle the hashira?! They could barely get close to him during training.

That sounded more like a suicide attempt, if you asked Zenitsu, but on the other hand, Inosuke laughed and didn't wait another second and jumped right into the plan (there was no plan, so it's probably that the boar needs help).

'INOSUKE, YOU DAMN IDIOT!!'

'Mwahahaha!! Make way, here goes the great god-!!'

Ah-ah, Zenitsu wasn't going to risk another hit, if they were going to do it, they were going to do it with a plan.

They waited for all the slayers to leave, it was too late at night honestly, and it was finally time...

Did they have a plan? Of course not, they would improvise something

'Why haven't you two left yet?', it already started wrong, Muichiro wasn't supposed to see them.

Well, anyone who is afraid of dying should not be born, and with that, Inosuke started to try to make him fall, but he was the only one who crashed his face into the floor, great, another humiliation.

Zenitsu pulled at his eyes, he was wondering how Inosuke was still alive, or rather, how Inosuke was still his friend. 'And what about you? You two go away, I don't have time for your little games'

'It's a shame, I guess Inosuke and I will have to tell Tanjiro that you have been cruel to us...'

'To Tanjiro?! Hey, don't you dare-!?', tip of the day, if you want to get Muichiro's attention, mention Tanjiro.

Taking advantage of the fact that the mist hashira had his eyes fixed on Zenitsu, Inosuke took advantage (to get up) and finally managed to knock him to the ground.

'Mwahahaha!! I finally have you, coriander head boy!!' 'Inosuke, that boy has a name and you better not call him that or else...' 'OUCH!!'

Or else, Muichiro would kick. He wouldn't let himself be tickled, well there are a few exceptions, but if it wasn't those people, he REFUSED to let them touch him, so he would become aggressive.

'You have two 05 seconds to let me go or else you will come out here with more bruises than you already have...'

'Child, I have a good sense of hearing and I know that you are lying, you are scared and you want to provoke us to start , or not?'

'HUH?! I DON'T-!! PFFFFT!!', another point in Zenitsu's favor.

Another tip, if you keep Muichiro talking, or even better, if you make him scream, rest assured that he won't put up as much resistance as before, so it will be easier for him to laugh.

If Inosuke listened to Tanjiro, he knew that he had to go for the sides, his hips or his navel to get a good reaction, otherwise, yes, exactly, another kick

'Wow, it seems like he's not so brave now, is he?' 'S-SHUT UHUP!!'

'Mwahahaha! Monitsu, I bet I can make him scream louder than you!', typical Inosuke.

Zenitsu simply accepted, because fighting with Inosuke would lead nowhere, so it was better to accept it and he certainly accepted having done so.

The laughter that came from Muichiro was unmatched and if anyone had been nearby, they would have come to his aid because of how loud it was, Inosuke clearly wanted to see him beg. 'So, he's not so rude anymore, huh? I thought you were a hashira and couldn't be defeated so easily, am I wrong?'

'WA-WAHAHAHIT FOR M-ME GRRRR TO GET OU-OUT OF THIHIHIS!! I'LL KIHIHIHICK YO-YOHOUHOUR ASS, I D-DON'T CA-CARE IF YOHOHOHUHUHU AHAHARE MHMHMHMHM TA-TAHANJIHIHIRO'S FRI-FRIHEHENDS!!'

I think we all know where this will lead...

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

3 and 12 especially if 12 does not correspond to the list from 3

3. Rank the shows you are currently watching from least favorite to favorite.

Ok. So I just answered this one. So I guess this time I'll give some reasons for each one.

8.My Love Mix-Up! This one just started so there isn't a lot to say about it and what I got to say I kinda did when it aired. I'll be waiting to see if it improves because I like the actors. 7.Love Sea I literally just finished watching the first episode an hour ago. I'm not sold and the reason it surpasses MLMU is the ocean. I love anything a little bit more if I can watch the ocean at the same time. 6.We Are It's not breaking any new ground. But I'm enjoying the friendship moments a lot. The group is really fun and they are all very natural together. Tan/Fang are my favourites atm and I wish I had more than crumbs Chain/Pun, because I find Pun really fun to watch. 5.Knock Knock, Boys! It's really fun. I'm actually laughing in certain moments which doesn't happen all that often. I really like the house dynamics, it feels very real to me. Seng is great of course, but I like all of them. The food montage was a high moment for me. I was drooling. 4.Only Boo! They are so freakin adorable. I am in pain. That train break up was so sad. Well done but sad. I understand the reason, and it makes sense from what we know of Kang, but it was painful. And that title card '1 year later'... I hate it so much. We don't really know how much happened in that year so I don't want to preemptively criticize it, but I hope that something else changed and not only the calendar. Cause if you're gonna move past so many things, at least give me growth. 3.With You I Bloom This one is a jdrama and thanks to an amazing fansubber I can watch as it airs which is not always the case with jdramas. This is not a bl, but I don't think anyone has told the show yet. I started watching this one because there are a lot of jbl actors in it so I was curious. And I'm having so much fun. It's basically a bunch of dudes learning to fight with swords in very nice clothes. There are a bunch of couples pairs, with very different dynamics, several sad backstories, and the final theme song makes cackle every time because it's always a massive tonal shift, because it's so happy and honestly, so so gay. 2.Wandee Goodday It's a whole new level of idiots in love and I love it. Like there's idiot in love, and then there's Dee. He's going for first place and no one can even touch him. I think if Taem clearly and without reservations rejects Yak, he can accept his feelings for Dee properly. But Dee is all over the place and at this point I don't think the show is doing a good job at telling me why. He keeps going back and forth too quickly for me. I truly hope that final flashback he had when they were running was him accepting his feelings. Also I NEED to know about Cher and Oyei. I need that backstory. TODAY. 1.At 25:00 in Akasaka I love Hayama a normal amount. This last episode was a rollercoaster for me. That ending left me screaming. And then I went through a whole thing when @lurkingshan threw my glasses on the floor and I was able to see everything in a whole new way. Anyway I love this show. What they are doing with the two shows is so interesting, and the editing is so smart. And I love them both. Hayama has my whole heart though.

2. Which show do you think will have the best ending?

Honestly, I have no idea. Endings are hard. It's hard to tie all the loose ends and make everybody happy. Jbl's lately have not done a great job at them. I still trust them more than Thai bl endings and I feel like we are collectively dreading WG end because of that. So honestly. If I'm going by what I've seen so far, I'm gonna say Only Boo. Maybe because the stakes are not as high as for some of the other shows, I expect a solid ending that will leave me with a big smile and a full heart. And that's honestly more than I've been getting so I'll be happy.

Thank you so much for dropping by with questions. 💜

Currently Airing Shows Ask Game

[bell-of-indecision]

✨I ranked all the indian stuff I watched in 2023✨

For context, this July I finally gave in to my decade-old urge and dove head first into indian culture. It's been nothing short of phenomenal. The more people I meet, the more foods I try, the more music I listen to, the more Hindi I learn, the more I fall in love with India.

Although I became more of a TV serial person, eventually, I gave in to the movies as well.

So here's everything I watched, ranked from worst to best.

(I'm sorry in advance)

10. Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani

This movie is useless, I'm so sorry. Somehow, it fooled me into thinking Naina was the main character, then the whole thing became about Bunny and I was so confused, who was I supposed to care about anyway? Can't complain though, Naina is a boring and uncharismatic cliché, I couldn't care less about her, had she disappeared midway into the story, I would've been thankful. Avi, Bunny, and Aditi, on the other hand, are loveable characters that deserved to be in a better movie — especially Aditi, I liked her so much. Too bad the movie seems to be about absolutely nothing. There was a message, I think, but it felt so shallow it didn't even matter to me, there was no actual relevance, no lesson, no impact, nothing. Maybe I'm stupid, but this movie is a drag. And the soundtrack SUCKS, Ilahi is the only good song in it.

2.8/10

9. Bhool Bhulaiyaa 2

The very first Bollywood movie I've ever watched. I wanted to like it so bad, it makes me sad that I didn't. Is it a comedy? A horror story? A dramatic murder mystery? Somehow, it's all of these and none at the same time, it can't decide on a tone to save its life, not even the humor can decide on what exactly it wants to be (most of it is just bad). The main couple has negative chemistry, their romance is so bland it's almost funny. Ruhan carries the whole movie on his back and is the only character with enough charisma to make me care, I honestly love this guy. His scene where he pretends to be possessed is incredible, and Tabu as Anjulika was great too. The plot twist was really nice, possibly the only good thing about the whole story, but then the movie ends so abruptly and on such a heavy note that it almost made me sick when the upbeat theme song started playing immediately after. This movie could not read the room, everything about it throws me off.

4/10

8. Jab We Met

Aditya is a dream, Geet is kind of a nightmare. I have nothing against characters that are lively, optimistic, and cheery, but they have to be bearable, she was just way too much for me. I loved Aditya's character development, it was fun and endearing to watch. The movie itself is not bad, just overrated. Nagada Nagada slaps though.

6/10

7. War

I wanted to love this movie just as much as it wanted to have a good twist. We both failed. Underestimating the audience's intelligence is one thing, but toying with us and making us feel like fools for the sake of a “big reveal” is something else. And no, it wasn't worth it. It wanted to be surprising, but it was just frustrating, shocking for all the wrong reasons. The action was fire though, no complaints there, and I loved the relationship dynamic between Kabir and Khalid, I would watch 11 seasons of those two going on missions with their team and fighting together, their chemistry is so good, I enjoyed every second of their scenes.

6.4/10

6. Arjun: The Warrior Prince

As a Mahabharat fan, I had hopes, but that's on me. Loved the way the story was presented to the audience, simple but brilliant. Shaheer Sheikh's Brihannala altered my brain chemistry, and I was elated to see her again. The animation was gorgeous, that goes without saying. I just hated how it ended right before the war, right where Arjun has some of his best moments, and hated even more how they practically erased Krishna from the story. At least they made him dark skinned this time.

6.7/10

5. My Name is Khan

Had this been based on a true story, I would've been the biggest fan of this movie to ever exist, I am a sucker for movies based on real life stories. Still, despite the disappointment of finding out this whole thing — as good as it was — was fictional, I see it as a touching, lovely, honest, and relevant story that kept me interested and broadened my horizons. Say whatever you want about allistic actors playing autistic characters, Shah Rukh Khan sold the heck out of this character and I bought it like the big neurodivergent fool that I am. I see a neurodivergent character onscreen, I am immediately on-board and loving them despite all their scripted flaws because “they're just like me fr”. "Marry me", indeed.

7/10

4. Rocky Aur Rani Kii Prem Kahaani

Is it innovative and groundbreaking? No, but it is so much fun. It's deep and honest enough, charismatic and funny enough, it's just good entertainment with a good message. I expected nothing to be honest, either way, the story just kept getting better? The dynamics kept getting deeper and more complex? Wait a minute, this was actually good! I went in for the soundtrack — I'm obssessed with Dhindhora Baje Re — but I stayed for everything else. I laughed out loud many times, I shed some tears, I rooted, man, this movie made me feel actual things! What a lovely surprise.

7.9/10

3. The Railway Men

I went into it with such high hopes. Some of them were met, but part of me was left unsatisfied. As I said before, real stories are my favorite, but the way this show was presented feels too much like fiction. Good fiction, but still. And I know it’s not fiction. I am aware that many creative liberties were taken, and I'm not against them, at all, but the thing is: I could see them, I knew they were there. When I watched HBO’s Chernobyl, I was fully convinced that everything that was presented in the show was reality, exactly how it had happened, and I doubted nothing. I was shocked when they revealed that Ulana Khomyuk was a character created to represent many scientists that were involved in the incident. I had eaten her up, and I still can't believe she wasn't a real person. The Railway Men feels like the opposite of this, most of it feels like a creative liberty, very little reads as a real event, a real interaction, or a real person. I doubted a lot of what I saw, and had to do some research to fully understand what exactly had been real. But like I said, it was still good. I found myself caring deeply for each and every character, no matter how minor, I deeply empathized with their pain, rooted for them, cried with them, cried for them. It's heartbreaking, gut wrenching, revolting, yet it still manages to be inspiring. Why I never learned about Bhopal before watching this show is beyond me, but at any rate, I will be recommending this show to everyone I know.

8.1/10

2. Brahmāstra: Part One – Shiva 

I will defend this movie's honor, I don't even care. I loved it so much that I made my mom watch it with me the next day, and she loved it. The dialogue is cringy, yes, unbearably so, some lines make my skin crawl. But COME ON, the plot is great, the concept is creative, the visual effects are wonderful, the soundtrack is divine —Mohan is dreamy— hear me out, I was hooked, on board, immersed, you name it. This movie made me feel so excited, I felt like a 7-year-old watching a super hero movie and wanting to have cool powers just like those, I honestly can't remember the last time a movie made me feel this energetic. Do I understand why Shiva and Isha were so deeply in love despite having met each other a week ago? No, but I was still rooting for them. Do I understand why sometimes people yell out the Astra’s powers in order to activate them like the Power Rangers? No, neither do I vibe with it, but do you think it mattered? The next moments were so freaking cool that I completely forgot what I wanted to complain about. (Oh, and Saurav Gurjar was in it! I gasped so loud when I saw him on screen, and playing a villain no less!) I was genuinely sad when it ended, I would've watched three more hours of that, despite the terribly written lines. I will fight for this movie and forgive every bad line of dialogue if it kills me.

8.7/10

1. Mahabharat (2013)

In case you haven't noticed, I am absolutely obssessed with Mahabharat. Initially, I’d decided to face the 267 episodes of this show because watching stuff in your target language is a good way to learn (also, that Krishna guy was very easy on the eyes, looking at him a bit more surely wouldn't hurt). It took me a few episodes to really get into the story, but once I did, oh boy, I was so hooked on the plot I even forgot about the language (although I did learn some words from it). The thing about this show, other than the freaking superb plot and phenomenal cast, are the characters. They all made me feel something. And that's the thing with characters, I believe, they don't necessarily have to be good or bad, morally speaking, they have to be well-written and entertaining, they have to make you feel things, positive or negative. Shakuni, a villain, was freaking great because of how good he was at being bad. And the good guys, like the Pandavas, weren't just good, that'd be boring, they were also charismatic, unique, funny, inspiring, and sometimes morally grey, which made them even more interesting, even more human. Watching them get in conflict with their morals when things got dark was insane. Even when they messed up —I'm looking at you Dharmraj— I still wanted to see them win. They felt like family, I watched them grow, I felt so close to them that their struggles and victories felt like my own. “My boys”, I call them. Mahabharat is my Roman Empire, man, I could talk about this show for HOURS. Anyway, this became my favorite show of all time and I'm so glad I didn't let the number of episodes scare me away. (And yes, I am still very much in love with Saurabh Raaj’s Krishna, he is probably one of my favorite characters ever, my heart raced when I first saw him and it still does to this day, BYE)

9/10

Oh, this ended up being a Top 10. Nice.

I both thank you and applaud you for reaching the end of this ramble that is ultimately just a result of my obsession with making lists and ranking literally everything. And also my admiration for indian culture.

I would've included Porus and Chandragupta Maurya but I'm not yet finished watching them, but I thought I should say: I am liking them a lot.

What do you people think I should watch next year? Recommendations are welcome!

✨🇮🇳 ✨

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Well, you know what - I am absolutely exhausted now. That's the thing about double Casualty nights. I went off them quite a while ago because it gives me a lot to talk about afterward, making typing up my thoughts take longer, and because while I like to think I have a good enough attention span it can only last so long. Also I was more triggered by the eps than I thought I'd be (my fault though, I misjudged how I'd feel).

Yet! I am glad. We went two entire eps without Faith turning up at all. My second-least fave, Iain, was there but primarily playing the only role I like him in: Jacob's friend who tries to look out for him. And thus, even he was likeable tonight.

And of course, Jacob is finally, finally getting focus again!! It's been long enough.

But before I get into all of that, thoughts on ep 1:

Rash's storyline was... well, it's very intense. A lot more so than I would have expected. His whole breakdown about everything being broken was incredibly sad to see. Poor, poor Rash.

I didn't think this would lead to him leaving but I'm not sure now, I could easily see this being an exit story. I hope not - though, on the other hand I want him to be happy, enough that if he has to leave for that I'd go along with it.

Neet Mohan was brilliant. He's one of Casualty's best when he gets the chance to be. I'm pleased it seems the show is finally acknowledging that, even if it means Rash getting a sad storyline for now. Also, I tend to like an ep that partially revolves around a character being in therapy. I hope we get one for Jacob eventually.

I'm... intrigued by Patrick. I really don't know what to make of him, though I don't think I'm meant to. He's definitely an unknown quantity of sorts so far. I thought he'd remind me a lot of Henrik and he does, albeit mostly in different ways than Max did. Patrick makes me think of early Henrik. The grumpy, not exactly nice new man in charge who just wants everyone to focus on their work, with just the tiniest hint of a gentler side beyond all the rudeness. The scene where he talked about Rash being like him, however, was not very Henrik of him. I don't think early Henrik would ever have opened up even that much.

I continue to like Tariq as a character so far. I enjoy his dynamic with Rash a lot, still. Their borderline-brotherly dynamic is very interesting. And I have to say, he was cast really well - he feels like such a believable cousin for Rash!

Ngozi continues to be great, as well. I adore her.

I thought the way this ep depicted how busy the department was was incredibly well done. I don't have much more to say there, but I wanted to point it out.

And as for the second ep:

I'd almost forgotten just how good Charles Venn is when he gets to do dramatic acting! Not that I don't enjoy the comedy/lighthearted stuff too, but there's been hardly any of that recently either - it's just felt like nothing but "Iain, I am now going to prop up your storyline because you're not interesting enough to carry it alone, I hope you don't mind". But he got to be brilliant again tonight.

And Jacob gets the focus he deserves. It's about time Blake came up again! I wonder what's going on with Blake, he did sound very upset. And I wonder what Elle is doing. I hope she doesn't get forgotten.

Jacob's line about how him and Blake haven't really talked for a while was very intriguing. I'm glad him being basically never acknowledged for like, forever is seemingly being incorporated into the storyline rather than glossed over.

Nicole is an excellent character so far. I love her.

Rida was fantastic tonight. Incredible acting from Sarah Seggari! Some very upsetting moments, undeniably, but the writing and performance were pitch-perfect. Wow. She's amazing.

Siobhan is wonderful. I've definitely come around to her.

Anyway, that's most of what I can think of to say about tonight but I'm sure I've left a lot out that I can't remember at the moment. Basically, however, the TL;DR version of all this is: I love Jacob.

[c0ffee-gh0ul]

HAIIIIIII could you maybe consider writing something for stephen x neil? something angsty perhaps? (i’m thinking maybe with how neil started acting once everyone stoped hanging out together, maybe he’s like real upset about stephen specifically since he’s Pining Real Bad over him?) maybe a tearful confession? but anything really is good HEEGEHEHE!!!! :3

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS IDEA!! This was so much fun to write, angst is one of my favorite things. I really hope you enjoy how I portrayed your idea!!

ONESHOT: NEIL'S TEARFUL CONFESSION TO STEPHEN

Neil was sitting at the kitchen table, eating his dinner in silence. Stephen had been at Kim’s house for hours, hanging out with Joseph. It seemed that was all Stephen did these days, and Neil was constantly left alone to do things in silence.

“Dude, Neil!” Stephen finally came home and into the kitchen. “We finished the Sex Bob-Omb album! And Joseph and I are starting a new band!”

“Great,” Neil hummed, continuing to eat his food.

“I thought you’d be more excited, man,” Stephen said, sitting across from Neil.

“I dunno, I guess I am,” Neil muttered. “I just, I’ve been feeling left out.”

“What? You’ve just been busy, haven’t you? With your exams and all, right?” Stephen asked, furrowing his brow.

“Y-yeah, but not 24/7! We’re still friends, aren’t we?” Neil grew a little more frustrated.

“Of course we are,” Stephen replied, looking down at his hands and then back up at Neil. “Things are just… Busy, y’know?”

“I never see you anymore, Stephen. I’m sad,” Neil explained. “All I do is study, play video games, and eat. I do it all in silence without you, without Scott, without Kim… Ever since you guys started going to Kim’s house for practice.”

Stephen didn’t think he had ever heard Neil speak that much in one sentence. He was usually so soft-spoken, so to-the-point, so clear and concise. He knew Neil was being serious.

“I-I’m sorry, Neil, I am… I don’t know what else to say,” Stephen sighed.

Tears welled up in Neil’s eyes. This was something deeper than not seeing Stephen as much as he used to.

“You spend all your time with Joseph. What’s so special about him, anyway?”

“He-he’s cool! He makes cool music, and we have meaningful conversations, and he’s just chill,” Stephen started to become frustrated too.

“Whatever,” Neil sighed, leaving the kitchen to go upstairs to his bedroom. He wasn’t the type to talk about his feelings like that. What he said was enough for the night.

Once he was in his bedroom, he laid down in his bed, faced the wall, and began to cry. He had feelings for Stephen. More than just friend feelings. 

“Neil?” He heard Stephen’s voice outside the door after a few minutes. “Can I come in?”

Neil sat up and wiped away his tears. “Yeah,”

Stephen came into the room and sat next to Neil on the bed. “I’m sorry for making you upset,” He started. “I want to tell you something important.”

“I’m listening,” Neil replied.

“The reason I’ve been hanging around Joseph so much is because…” Stephen started, taking a deep breath. “I like him. I want to go out with him… Y’know?”

Neil’s heart skipped a beat. He felt himself go flush. He had no idea how to respond to that news.

“Are you okay?” Stephen asked. “Don’t tell me you’re homophobic or something-”

“N-no, I’m not homophobic, I-” Neil took a deep breath and exhaled. “I like you, Stephen. I want to go out with you.” Tears suddenly streamed down his face.

Stephen now had the same reaction. His mouth agape, he was trying to find a response in his mind.

“I’m sorry, you probably think I’m crazy or something,” Neil sobbed. 

“I don’t think you’re crazy,” Stephen replied. “I just think… We’re buds, y’know? I’ve never really seen us as anything more…”

“I understand,” Neil sniffled. “Let’s just pretend this didn’t happen.”

Stephen felt bad, but he agreed. He gave Neil a hug and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Although Neil wanted to pretend it never happened, he couldn’t. He couldn’t forget his love for Stephen, let alone his tearful confession. He thought he could fix things, and they would be best friends again, but this made it worse in his mind. He laid in bed again, faced the wall, and continued to cry.

[nagisadelune]

Headcanon: Your Wedding Without Luke

(Definitely not edited)

I promised myself I would never write an angsty headcanon, but here we are... I swear someone's going to riot because of this, but we're going to write it anyways. (I'm so sorry Luke stans...)

Here we go though. For context, someone made an Instagram reel where an "unconventional" practice is to leave a seat open for the deceased... I think you know where I'm going with this, so let's just get to the story. Hope you enjoy this one!

For the timeline, let's skip to a few years ahead of the game (since we all know Luke's timeline). I think we should just assume the year 2040 and you're Rosa just to be safe.

⭐⭐⭐

Staring at yourself in the mirror, your nervous heart pounds against your chest. While your fingers play with the fabric of the skirt, your mind can't help but wander to your current situation: you're getting married. Although you knew that you wanted to get married from a young age, it feels surreal that you finally found someone to spend the rest of your life with, but it isn't the way that you imagined.

The knock at the door pulls you away from your thoughts, and Kiki's head appears behind the door. You give her a small smile before she enters.

"How are you feeling?" she asks quietly as she carefully shuts the door behind her. Trying to compose yourself from your thoughts, you sigh before answering her.

"Nervous, but who isn't nervous on their wedding day, right?" you honestly answer her as she approaches you with an expression that seems to say "fair enough." You notice how the bridesmaid dress suits her well and smile at her. "You look great in your dress by the way," you comment, and she responds with a helpless smile and shaking head.

"Not as great as you," she responds back as she sits on the couch behind you, playing with the hem of her dress. With the silence that overcomes the room, your mind wanders back to those thoughts, and you decide to voice them, knowing that Kiki would reassure you

"Do you," your voice falters for a moment before continuing, "think that it is right for me to do this?" Biting the inside of your lip and glancing behind you, Kiki looks at you with a slightly sad smile, knowing exactly what you meant to ask. With a heavy sigh, she stands up and grabs your hands, gripping them tightly in an attempt to boost your confidence.

"I think this is the right thing," she answers quietly and carefully, trying to respect your thoughts and feelings. Your mind immediately thinks back to your promise to him before everything happened, and you try to bite back your tears, trying not to ruin the meticulous makeup on your face. If I go, I want you to be happy; I want you to find someone else who can make you smile a lot, alright? Those words in your mind repeat as Kiki continues speaking. "I understand that it's hard because you miss him so much, but I think he would want to see your smiles than to see you crying in pain," she continues, trying to keep it together. "As much as you want him, you know that you need to move on."

"I know I have moved on though; I have someone I'm about to marry," you reason mostly to yourself, "but I still love him." Your voice reduces to a whisper, admitting your feelings. The tears slowly well up in your eyes, and Kiki immediately reaches for a tissue to dry them up for you. Silence returns to the room as you feel like you're betraying him.

"You know," Kiki responds as she continues to dry your tears, "it's possible to love more than one guy. You're marrying someone who accepts you even though you're struggling; he knows that you love him even though you feel like you're betraying your first love." Your mind can't process Kiki's words as you're trying to regain your composure. Her hands continue to dry your eyes as she continues to explain, "If it makes you feel better, no one is going to blame you for betraying him; they want you to be happy. You're going to miss him, but there's nothing wrong with missing someone you've known all your life, alright?" Her words finally process in your mind, sniffling as you contain the sadness in your heart.

"You really think so?" your shaky voice whispers, the words barely able to come out of your throat. Kiki's confident nod eases some of the conflicting feelings in your heart, and you're finally feel the air moving in and out of your chest as if you weren't breathing in the first place. With shaky breaths, Kiki gives you a soft smile, cleaning up the last of your tears before squeezing your hands again.

"It's time," a voice at the door calls, and Kiki acknowledges them before looking back at you.

"Ready?" she asks with a barely audible tone. You only have enough courage to muster a nod before Kiki walks with you to the aisle.

The first part of the ceremony blurs by your mind before you finally come back to your senses. Your eyes nervously look at the aisle in front of you as your father looks his arm with yours.

"Don't worry," he whispers. "You're doing great sweetie." Hearing the aisle music you planned previously, you manage to look up, swallowing the nervousness in your throat. However, your eyes catch something in the corner. You initially blink, thinking your vision is starting to fail you at a young age, but he's still there. At the empty seat you left in the front room, a suited male stands in front of it, and your eyes immediately tear up when you recognize the figure. Everything's the same from your memories of him: his warm smile, the sturdiness of his shoulders, and even his eye smile. The warmness of his aura brings tears to your eyes as you realize that you're learning to let him go; even though he's gone, he'll always support you if that means you putting him aside in your mind.

Walking down the aisle, you can feel your future husband's gaze on you, knowing that the pain you feel can only fade and that he'll support you anyways. However, you also feel your first love watching you like a guardian angel, taking in how you finally found another person to make you happy like he did. Although the music plays around you, you hear his voice telling you that it's okay that this is happening and how happy he is that you found someone else that loves you.

Reaching the altar, you somehow find the raging feelings in your heart calming down, the nervousness slowly dissipating from your body. You know that you'll miss him no matter what. You know that your heart will always long for him, but your heart eases knowing that he loves and supports you. As you take your future husband's hand and squeeze his, you know that this is what he would've wanted. You can only be honest with yourself in your thoughts before the officiant starts talking.

"I love you, Luke. I always will."

⭐⭐⭐

Oh man. I was tearing up writing this to be honest, but we'll find out who really started bawling. (Hue hue.) Either way, I hope you liked this one, and I'll see you in the next one!

[atopearth]

Shall we Date? Wizardess Heart Part 39 - Randy March Sequel

Finally the true last post of this game haha! I'm still shocked that I never played this hahaha. Anyway, Randy playfully getting the heroine to feed him cookies and then licking her fingers omgg loll! I love Taffy, he's so funny and cute. It's sad that Randy has to experience disappointment after disappointment after every concoction he makes hoping it would heal the real Randy's petrification doesn't end up working. But it's sweet that both him and the heroine are quite positive alongside Taffy! Honestly, I've always enjoyed Amelia and the heroine's relationship, they're so cute and funny. Maybe she can't solve the heroine's problems, but she's always there to hear her out and I think that's great. I have to agree that travelling on giant Taffy is the best thing ever.

Every time the heroine laments about what she'll do after graduating, it makes me feel so down because it's a problem I've been thinking about for more than 10 years and I still don't know what I want to do with my life haha. But seeing her actually have a dream but just be afraid that she's not capable makes me feel happier for her, because she has a goal, she's just not sure if she can do it, but really, with her skills, her hard work and Randy's support and encouragement, there's no way she can't. I'm glad she was finally able to tell him that she loves him though, Randy looked so happy. It must be so difficult for him to face the real Randy and his parents again. He caused them to "lose" their child all these years.. Randy's mother being so understanding is so heartbreaking. Taffy being the real Randy's familiar is unsurprising I guess, but it's actually really sweet to know that Taffy was a stuffed toy he had since childhood, and that the first thing he did when the real Randy could use magic was to bring Taffy to life. As someone who also really loves my stuffed toys, I can understand those sentiments of truly cherishing something you've had with you for a long time. I'm glad Taffy also feels the same and loves the real Randy just as much. I agree with the heroine that Serge never felt like he was "pretending" to be Randy, at most, it would be how he was influenced by Randy and changed because of him.

Lmao at Klaus saying the old Serge was a difficult guy to be around and that Randy was acting like that now, and then Sigurd says he's the last person that should be saying that considering how difficult he is🤣 I love how Taffy came out of nowhere to save the day haha, it's not a Randy route without Taffy, they're a team forever! I agree that Randy needs to make an Anywhere Phone so that he can always talk to Taffy even if they separate from each other (since Taffy will probably go with the real Randy), and it was so sweet to see Taffy call him Serge😭 The heroine deciding to transfer to Queensblade for the magic creature medicine course was really cool! I love how decisive she is towards her goals. It's sad that she's leaving everyone and going to school somewhere else but I'm happy for the heroine, and I loved her answer that yeah trying your best doesn't mean you'll definitely achieve your goals but giving up is a different story. If you love something, you should work your hardest towards it. Maybe it won't work out but it's better than regretting you didn't try. I loved how everything she learnt revolved around Randy and through each other they both grew as people, it's crazy to see how much the heroine has grown and how much more confident she is.

I can't believe the heroine was planning to leave without telling anyone! I understand her perspective but it's just so cruel to deny people the chance to say goodbye to her. I'm glad Elias busted her haha. Honestly, I didn't think I'd get emotional especially when it's obvious, but when Randy dripped a bit of the potion on the petrified cloth to check if it works before he used it on the real Randy, I couldn't help but want to cry seeing it work. Randy has gone through so many failures, suffered so much guilt throughout the years that seeing everything finally work out made me so happy for him. I was so happy for them when Randy woke up and was able to talk to the people he loved, but extremely sad to see him go back into a comatose state, I felt very sad for Serge. I'm very glad we got to see the real Randy wake up eventually and properly and get to see Serge and the heroine's child but omg, I understand why they call her Candy but noooo, that name is so silly hahaha. I'm still happy though because it's nice to know how happy they are.

Overall, I'm really sad to really say goodbye to Wizardess Heart for real now because just playing this route again made me remember how much I loved Randy and all the guys. Sure, not every route was great but that's to be expected with so many LIs and stories, but I definitely enjoyed them all enough that I'll remember them all fondly. In terms of the sequel itself, I really enjoyed seeing Randy's dream come true, and I really enjoyed the dilemma of whether Taffy would go back with real Randy and stuff like that. I liked seeing them struggle with their difficulties in seeing the real Randy and Serge doing his best to achieve his goal. But I guess what I enjoyed most was seeing the heroine grow so much that she had decided to move to Queensblade to fulfill her dream even if it meant she had to leave all her friends behind. I love her bravery and strength, and I love the support she and Serge give to each other as partners. It felt really heartwarming to watch over them and I'm really happy that I got to finish the game watching over how happy they are. However, I do have to say, I think all the guys deserved a sequel so I'm sad that the others never got that, but yeah oh well, I will definitely miss this game and would always recommend it for mobile otome players haha, it might feel dated but the stories are very heartwarming.

[fractualized]

Well, whatever the fuck is going on in Zdarsky's Batman right now doesn't make me feel great about the eventual reveal for the Jokers in The Man Who Stopped Laughing, but I enjoyed TMWSL #8 today and I'm going to focus on that and not how very fucking over the multiverse I am.

As always, spoilers for TMWSL ahead!

As much as I enjoyed last issue, I'm happy to catch up with who I still think of as Protagonist Joker. He's got that sad, half-dead underdog appeal! And he has a half-dead friend!

Grundyjokes lives!

They don’t have to be this cute. Why are they so cute in their weird little subterranean friendship.

You may remember, however, that the Joker in Los Angeles is, uh, not making friends.

Real original commentary, lady!

How much people across the country (or the world or the galaxy) are familiar with DC's heroes and villains changes depending on the needs of the story, but I think I prefer a world where their notoriety is more localized just for opportunities like this. lol

And so does Joker, who takes the opportunity to stab Manhunter and escape, before we’re back in the Gotham sewers with another Gotham creature, Killer Croc.

>:[ Joker, you're not gonna make more friends like this.

As Protagonist Joker antagonizes Waylon, LA Joker is desperately trying to not be in LA.

I thought the door lock was a funny beat, and then this happens.

Hee, classic.

Just when I think Mr. Waffles will finally come to the rescue...

Oh, perhaps Killer Moth is a friend? But this issue is cutting back and forth pretty often, and we’re back with a different Killer on the hunt.

Oh. Oh, that poor utility worker.

Just burning up to nothing behind Joker, who is still wearing the same damn underwear. But at least a lot of his hair is back!

Well, I certainly hope both of you aren't the result of another comic's multiversal nonsense that sure seems to be undermining your villain origin story in favor of making you more of a plot device than the character I enjoy BUT I SAID WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT

Anyway, Protagonist Joker passes out, leaving his fate for the next issue, and it's back to the west coast.

Though just when you think Killer Moth flew across the country to help Joker for some reason...

Oh, of course he's here for revenge. That makes more sense.

Moth, you have to know you're gonna regret this.

Hey, speaking of Jason!

That boy sure loves his Austen and Shakespeare and treatises on how violence is a tool exploited by the state.

A strange figure appears!

I'm not sure if more is happening here than a visual signal or what, but Tiffany is actually Barbara.

I'm going to assume it's Steph on the other end of the line just because of her previous appearance, and going by Barbara's last remark, I'm also wondering if this help for Jason is without Bruce's knowledge, but time will tell!

And then it's back to Los Angeles, and... ugh... the answer to why Mr. Waffles didn't come to Joker's rescue..

But Joker said "almost!" Waffles can recover!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO goddammit, I shouldn't have gotten attached. Buuuut maybe there’ll be a gag next time about how he’s barely hanging on??

... Also I wouldn’t hate it if Joker dragged poor Waffles around Weekend-at-Bernie's style.

Sigh. Alright. Onto the backer. Francavilla is back for the art! Hooray!

Joker's an especially sad clown in this one! And he's sick of all the fighting, so he comes up with an invention.

Of course Joker’s not gonna try out being good. Can’t you make out his badge?

The fact that the victim's head merely goes POP. I can't.

And the device works in the air! It works in the sea!

They had to put the "Superman created by" credit at the start of this story just so we could see Clark's head get obliterated.

I really try not to post too many full pages but lol these chyrons

Naturally, after Randolph Joker decides to go all-out with his device...

Holy unintended consequences, headless Batman!

Speaking of losing your head, don’t get too many bright ideas, Gaggy...

Joker decides to go with a different career opportunity.

Gotta love a good bookend! And look, it's Two-Face! Also is that a new Gaggy or a continuity error or what am I even saying it doesn’t matter

I'm not sure if the Joker duplicate in this story is his new life as a for-real clown or collectively all the shitty people he enabled... but this stupid @!#$?* mime is as unfulfilled as always, and isn't that what really matters? ✨