#anyway i had to post this cause it was just so ridiculous lol.

[mariemariemaria]

I'm in a group chat right now with hundreds of women and I LOVE it the vibes are immaculate and it's soo funny but one woman said that she thinks she's pansexual bc she cares more about personality and then followed up by saying she was only physically attracted to men but more emotional with women which means that she's an "enigma"......girl that's called being heterosexual. Being only sexually attracted to the opposite sex but preferring friendships with people of your own sex is maybe the most common experience of earth. bffr

[raatopaikka]

In honour of #TAEMINisback here's an old pencil sketch I never posted! (2021)

(ballpoint version: 🖊 )

[misc-obeyme]

heyyy!!!! It's for the Kinktober list \o/

Solomon and breeding kink please babes ❤️

Drink water, sleep 8 hours and eat three healthy meals a day!!! Luvoo

Hey there, anon!

Okay I already had a prompt for Solomon for Kinktober when I got this ask, but I was like listen. Is it really a CC event if I don't get more requests for Solomon than any other character? So now I feel like it's just tradition.

Also I can't believe I didn't include Solomon's pact marks in the other kinktober post I wrote for him! I didn't even realize until I'd posted it and then I was like how is it that I didn't mention them at all?? I'm so into it, it's ridiculous and yet... anyway, this gave me the chance to include them so I feel that makes up for it a little bit. One of these days I'm gonna write a smut fic that's like... about those marks 'cause they just do something to me.

Anyway, I did afab reader so hopefully that's okay! I also feel the need to thank you for telling me to drink water and so on. Those are all things I almost never do lol. Sometimes I eat three meals a day, but are they healthy?? No. They aren't. Right, sorry for the ramblings lol.

Thank you for submitting a prompt!

KINKTOBER 2023

AFAB!MC x Solomon

NSFW MDNI

Warnings: breeding, penetration (reader receiving)

You were on the sofa in Cocytus Hall in the middle of a heavy make out session with Solomon when you pulled away. Solomon let out a breath at the loss of your lips, but he didn't say anything. You met his eyes, saw the desire in them and the question.

You reached down deliberately to put your hand on his erection. Solomon closed his eyes and tensed, trying not to react to the feeling of it.

"We haven't even been doing this that long and you're already hard," you said quietly.

Solomon took hold of your wrist and pulled your hand up. He leaned in, his lips against your ear. "I'm sorry, MC. I guess I'm just that eager to breed you."

A thrill ran down your spine and you shuddered in his arms. Your reaction caused him to laugh softly against your skin.

"Ah, I knew it," he said. "That's what you want, isn't it?"

You flushed, but you couldn't exactly disagree. "So what if it is?"

Solomon laughed again. "You're so cute, MC," he said. "But you don't have to hold back. If that's what you want, all you have to do is say it."

You huffed. You tried to look away from him, but the close proximity made it difficult. You considered refusing to say anything else, but your own arousal was creeping in now and you didn't think you would actually be able to resist him.

You switched tactics, turning into him. You pulled your wrist from his hand and tugged on his belt buckle. You pressed your lips to his neck and said, "I want you to breed me, Solomon."

Solomon pulled you up off the sofa, his hands already moving beneath the fabric of your clothes. He removed your shirt, kissing along your collarbones as you finally unbuckled his belt. Your pants went next, soon followed by his cloak and shirt, too.

You paused now that Solomon's bare chest was before you. You looked into his eyes for a moment. He waited to see what you would do.

You ran your fingertips over his pact marks. He stayed still as you did so, patiently watching you. It wasn't as though you hadn't seen them before, but most of the time it was easy to forget they were there, hidden beneath his clothes.

Solomon allowed you to be mesmerized by them for a few moments before he turned you around and pulled you against him. Your back nestled against his chest. He still had his pants on, but they were open enough to let his cock free and you could feel it pressed against you. Solomon's lips trailed down your neck, his fingertips trailing beneath the waistband of your underwear.

You felt your body heat up and found yourself filled with impatience. If you let him, Solomon would continue to tease you for some time before finally giving you what you wanted. So you decided to take matters into your own hands.

You removed your underwear yourself, adding it to the pile of clothes on the floor. Then you put your knees on the sofa, bracing yourself against the back of it.

You arched your back and said, "Hurry up, I can't wait anymore."

Solomon made a groaning sound behind you, but you couldn't see him anymore. It was only moments before you felt him behind you. He kissed down your spine while reaching around to stimulate your clit with his fingers. You pushed against them, letting out a small moan as you sought more of that feeling.

"Solomon, please," you begged.

As you had hoped, that was enough to make him finally push his cock inside you. You were wet and ready, taking it in easily and moaning at the way it felt.

Solomon didn't hold back now. He had one hand on your hip and one hand on your clit as he pounded into you. The angle allowed for deep penetration and you felt your body unraveling with each thrust. The sparks of pleasure ran through your veins, the tension building in your legs and your back, your muscles tightening.

The hand on your hip moved up to rest on your back as Solomon leaned forward further. "You're so ready for me," he said, his voice heavy and shaking with his own impending orgasm. "I'm going to fill you up."

You cried out incoherently as you came, his words sending you right over the edge. Solomon seemed to anticipate this, both hands moving to hold your hips steady as you clenched around him.

Just as he promised, you could feel his hot cum filling you up as he came, your name spilling sweetly from his lips.

From then on, you found it was a simple matter to get Solomon to breed you. As he had said himself, all you had to do was say it.

flufftober | kinktober | masterlist | Thank you for reading!

taglist: @anxious-chick @t0tallycoolname @libidinous-weeb

[kneelingshadowsalome]

i just remembered this post or comment somewhere online where some girl said her bf accused her and thought she was cheating cause he didn’t know what discharge was (in her underwear)….. reminds me of konig 🧍 LOL

My dear lovely anon, König is so in this picture and he doesn't even know it ❤️

"Who is he? "

König marches into the room like a storm cloud. You've gotten so used to his delusional behavior by now that the only thing that makes you flinch is his tone of voice, now more hostile than ever. You're hanging your clothes to dry and try to turn as softly as you can, be as calm with your question as you can.

"What…? Who?"

He stands there with his feet planted wide, shoulders raised to his ears, chin to chest, eyes blazing inside the hood.

"Your lover."

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"Don't play innocent. You even let him cum inside you?"

He throws your blush pink panties on the floor, the dirty ones he's clearly picked up from the laundry basket, and it takes a while for you to understand that he thinks the white stains on them are some other man's sperm.

Just the fact that he just threw your dirty underwear on the floor like murder evidence, just the sight of them there before you makes you feel awkward and uncomfortable, but it's his absurd accusation that brings your hands over your mouth.

He thinks you have some other man you run to when he's away, who fills you up when he's not there to please you, that you come home with his cum dripping out of you…

"I can't believe you, Engel," he almost trembles with rage, his voice booming from thinking you're cheating on him. "After everything we've–"

"König," you stop him in the middle of his fit, dropping your hands back to your sides.

"Baby. It's not... sperm," you explain calmly while he's breathing like an enraged bull before you.

This is crazy... Crazy and ridiculous.

"It's just discharge," you continue to explain. "It's how a woman's body works. There's period blood, and then there's… this."

You can't believe you're having this conversation with him. You can't believe you had to live to see the day you have this conversation with any man.

The panties are still there between you, and his confused gaze flickers from them to you. Slowly, his breathing starts to even, but there's still that look of Are you just trying to fool me? in his eyes. You go to him, stepping over the cute little underthings. Placing a hand on his chest, you try to soothe him with touch.

"Did you smell it…?" You ask hesitantly, with heat gathering up to your cheeks.

"Yes," he squares his shoulders proudly, as if it's a normal, decent thing to do: to go around sniffing women's underwear.

"Did it smell of cum?"

"...No. It smelled of you."

"Well there you have it," you soothe the wrinkles on his shirt with your hand. The tension in his broad shoulders finally starts to release. The relief in his aura is palpable as the realization sinks in, the realization that you've always been faithful and it's only his angel's sweetness staining that cute, pink cotton.

"You're silly," you declare, giving him a small smile as you cup his face through that black hood. He grumbles softly, and a warmth spreads to your chest: it doesn't really matter if he's agreeing or disagreeing with your announcement, as long as he's calm again.

"What were you doing in my laundry bin anyway…?"

[lains-reality]

hi :) i hope you’re having a wonderful day

you’re literally the only blogger i trust when it comes to non-duality, and your advice has been the one i’ve been most easily able to apply/understand. I hope this doesn’t come off as a vent, but it probably will just because this question is so complicated and problem riddled, and tbh idek if you’re actually going to respond, but yea. it’s like star wars you’re my obi wan kenobi! my last hope lol

basically i’ve put my life on hold and procrastinated everything i’ve needed to do. (TW: death?? health problems/sa?) I went through a really bad year, last year. the human character i identify with (non-dualistic terms, bc ik this character isn’t me?) was sa’d in the beginning of the year. really traumatic. i dropped out of school, i couldn’t go out of the house because i feared for my life. i became super paranoid. i reported it and filed charges, but the justice system is fucked so.

anyways, after because the amount of stress i was experiencing, i became very ill. my biological father wished death on me, and i believed it at the time, because my sibling wished for me to get raped, and then it happened. i can see now, how my belief may or may not have been the cause of what happened. i then got cancer. the doctors couldn’t figure it out for months, and even ridiculed me- saying how i relied on google.

i finally went to a specialist who was immediately concerned, and then confirmed my suspicions. i was sort of friends with a blogger on here who got into the void and manifested their dream life. they went into the void for me and affirmed that i no longer had cancer, and that i could tap/wake up in the void. the next day, the huge lump/tumor on my neck was gone. all of my ailments- trouble breathing, patchy and rough skin ceased. i literally told my mother what happened which made her start believing in the power of “manifestation”.

because of the paranoia, and then cancer- i didn’t go to school my last 2 years of school. i switched to online, but never felt the need to complete my classes because i knew i would get into the void. i’ve gotten into the void, both by waking up/tapping into it but i haven’t been able to change my awareness, or “manifest” bc i was just mumbo jumbing words or poetry. i didn’t apply to university, because i thought i’d enter the void before then and revise my school grades + make it so i got into the university of my choice.

now, i have a week left before i have to finish my classes- which i have 7 of them, and so many assignments. i have to move out in the middle of august because i lied to my parents and said i got into university, because i thought i would’ve already changed things with the void by now. my life was fucked, then i fucked my life. after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now, yet i haven’t. i don’t know what i’m doing wrong, because i was able to show myself the truth of reality (as lester levinson said).

i am really stressing because now everything is falling down on itself. i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go, yet it’s so hard when teachers are bombarding me with messages how i have to finish the classes, or how i have to move out soon. i know this is probably ego driven, but i feel as if i can’t see a way through because of how attached i am to this. my health has also been abnormal, which makes me fear that the cancer has returned. what should i do?? im kinda freaking out.

anyways, i am so sorry if this came across trauma dumping/venting. i am just at a point where i do not even know where to begin to conceptualize this into understanding. this took a lot of courage to type, as im a bit afraid still- that people who hurt me from last year will see this (even though i know they won’t, but still). i totally understand if you wish not to post this or answer it, as it is very long and limiting. thank you though! i hope you have a wonderful week:)

this was quite difficult to answer as i've never been through so much turmoil all at once. i hope this answer helps and you'll continue taking care of yourself! (i'm sorry i linked way too much lol just don't read it all at once!)

firstly i want you to rest.

you've been through a lot and you've also been putting off a lot to get into the void. stopping life for manifestation is common it seems, its not healthy either. so much pressure is coming from time. you put all your expectations on a method, and i'm gonna guess that you also put so much onto your mind to get you into the void.

practically: your biological father sounds abusive and so does your sibling, i would be more careful around him. idk if your not around him anymore, it sounds like it? but you need to plan accordingly for your lie. are you gonna tell your parents or ?

theres a massive chance you'll just go crazy trying to figure out all these moving parts, so i suggest do what you can and leave the rest. do the minimum to keep you safe, then figure out the rest as it comes. do whatever you need to do, just remember to not take on too much at once.

ask for breaks on work at school for medical reasons, maybe think about jobs, etc. you see how much more could come into the picture? but this is all the body-mind can do. its easy to treat it as god, but its not god.

"but i feel as if i can’t see a way through"

You fail to do the works of God, because you take the body to be God. - Ada B. [4dbarbie]

take a look at these meditations:

butter meditation

peace meditation

surrender meditation

un-identification exercise

crying meditation

i'd like you pick one of these exercises:

feel all the shit. feel bad. just do it. let all the bad feelings out. put on sad music and fucking cry. cry it all out.

let yourself rest, with no problems. if a thought or feeling comes in just let it, because its not a problem remember? :) just put on some calming music or visualise a calming place. and let yourself have some time with nothing. no conditions. no perfection. no obligations. no 'have to' 'should' 'must'. let that go for this time

feel as if you've died. feel as if you've been completely forgiven, feel as if there was a powerful white light that washed you away of all the crap. really feel as if the divine came down, hugged you and said 'i love you and forgive you'. its all over. finally its all done. you can rest. (i suggest kickstarting this with imagery or music, its hard to generate feeling such grace on you own. i saw a jesus holding a baby lamb picture that made me burst out in tears and realised that all i wanted was just to be, no obligations. i imagined waking up in a heaven, in a gaint flowerfield. do what you want)

one time i did the 1st and 3rd exercises (i made it up on the spot) and it was worth it. the next few days felt much better. its like an exercise in rebirth. let yourself be reborn.

some days you'll just do one or all 3. pick what ever feels right in what ever order. but i suggest that 'feel as if you've died' or 'no problems' comes last! the whole point is to let the painful emotion pass through and settle in a neutral or grateful place.

"after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now"

here's the problem, you went into a philosophy intending to manifest. yes,, (1) you can do that (2) its okay, AS LONG AS YOU DONT MISS THE POINT. the point being that there is no person! the character is a character, not you. manifestation is just another concept, you can use it as long as you understand that its not real. thats why i shared the BOOKS, you need to READ.

"i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go"

don't force yourself to forget (don't say you're not forcing it, otherwise you never would of wrote "TRY"). just let them be. deal with it when it comes up. the mind'll want to make a bazillion plans and stress. if you can make plans without spiriling, then do it. if you can't, don't. there will probably be some things you need to plan and thats okay. but everything else, leave it.

you haven't actually let it go, you're here in my inbox. you do not need to force letting it go. you naturally let it go by realising who you are in relation to it all. if you think you're the body-mind then its impossible to let go, because its your life and it involves you and if you let it go to shit, you might die!! - says the mind. but if you're Self, then this is not you. all those stories mean nothing compared to Infinity, Absolute Perfection and Love!

the Self is who you truly are. Self is still underneath it all, it is all. its imagining itself being a human. the character is the wave, YOU are the ocean. ultimately this is about realising all the identities, images and roles that "you've" taken on and used as reference are not you. how can a story be you? how can the past be you? are you the past? are you currently living in the past? you can be if you keep bringing it into the now.

when you stop using the past as a reference point, how much more posibilities come up now?

this is because the mind only knows what it knows. it cannot know anything more than what it knows right now. it can't access infinite intelligence. that's why it'll try to project into the future, and make plans. but it doesn't truly know. all it does is give suggestions based off the past. it is a combination of identity based off feelings, thoughts and memories that is collected and turned into a habit.

the past, memories, feelings, thoughts, identifies, roles etc all pass through you. they all come up like waves and then leave on THEIR OWN. if you hold onto these (which the character wants to do, it thinks thats all it is) it'll be painful when they are threatened in some way. a simple remark of "oh you look xxx" can be so painful for some characters because they based their whole life on a singular identity that WILL go.

Most of you can't change because you are so desperate TO change... but there is nothing to want to change. Things just are. Don't work with changing self, just realize who self actually is. [4dbarbie]

this is not a forcing thing, its just a rememberance. its done out of love, passion, a desire to just be free! with no ties to whatever identity! its takes courage, not convincing or denial.

Disbelieving you are Vanessa and denial are not the same thing. Denial is when you deny reality to something you're already giving reality to. Disbelieving was meant as an experiment, you never thought yourselves to be anything but this body, what will happen if you did? What are changes in your psyche, do you feel more confident, do you feel like you could take on the world? Don't you love Vanessa now that you know that she always was a choice? Even if she wasn't the greatest, what's so wrong with her? She is just somebody, she just lives a life. Things are only so serious when you're identified with her, you get scared, you get hurt, you feel stuck. But when you know that she can't hinder you? That she was never you? Don't you just want to laugh and hug her? [4dbarbie]

are you sure you're reading books and posts? a lot of this is already answered. your case is just more to deal with, but the point is still the same: you are not the body and mind, see what would happen if you questioned them.

just KEEP IT SIMPLE!

i'd like to leave you with this.

Once a young woman came to Hafiz and said, “What is the sign of someone knowing God?” And Hafiz became very quiet and stood in silence for nearly a minute. Lovingly looking deep into the young woman's eyes, he then softly spoke: “My dear, they have dropped the knife. The person who knows God has dropped the cruel knife so often used upon their tender self and others.” [source]

some extra resources

eft - health fear

eft - afraid to feel

we cannot practice letting go

heart of an emotion

i want to wake up with everything

hafiz - love's victory (PLEASE WATCH IT)

trust yourself

"You think you're doing it all for nothing, that's why you don't do it. But is freedom from pain really nothing? At least you are, for once in your life, sighing from relief from all this never-ending sense of doing."

health anon

apply

"All the process requires is letting go of thinking you are Vanessa."

behaviour

letting thoughts and emotions pass

challenge yourself

stories

everything brings you back to your Self

you've been through a lot and i'm glad you still are full of love! otherwise you never would've tried in the first place to change anything. use that love, take any anger and turn it into love for freedom! for Self! i know you can do it!!

also: the feeling of bad health coming back is a sign to me. you've put so much on hold: your healing from the sa, the healing from your family, the lying, LIFE in general. you can't keep doing that. turn inwards. the fear won't consume you.

[oshinohoshi]

Oshi no Ko - In defense of Ai's "lies"

Warning: Manga spoilers below.

This post is a reaction to people occasionally saying, "Maybe Ai was the real villain all along" or "But Ai lies" as evidence of her character being sucky. And just... come on. I know, dear reader, that you understand how silly that is but I'm gonna spell it out anyway.

I always want to say in response: "Who did Ai hurt with her lies?" There is one character you may be thinking of and I'll get to that, but the person she hurt the most was herself. Because she told herself nonsense about how she was an irresponsible, dirty liar.

This breaks my fragile heart because this, right here, is the lie. Her negative self-talk stemming from a childhood filled with abuse and loneliness framed her issues with understanding love as if it were her fault and not, I dunno, the woman who fed her glass (see 45510) and abandoned her.

What were Ai's lies? Should they even be classified as such? Let's break it down:

She hid her kids. I would hardly call this a lie so much as a totally normal boundary for a celebrity with a public and private life. It only mattered because of the absurd standards for idols. It was more of a lie by omission anyway, but if someone asked her point blank if she had kids (maybe after one too many times nearly mentioning her kids lol) it would be perfectly acceptable to say no.

She put on a happy face at all times, hiding her emotions. This primarily hurt herself because it increased her social isolation and caused the girls in B Komachi to view her as untouchable and inhuman. Nino wouldn't have been so hurt by their fight if Ai better knew how to express herself, or maybe even if she had shown that she cared by yelling back, but that's a lot to expect from someone with Ai's background and lack of experience with relationships.

There's also Ai's neurodivergence. I don't want to speculate too much about that as I am not hugely familiar with the topic besides what I've learned by googling, but it can cause difficulty with social situations and expressing emotions. Sounds pretty familiar.

We are told in ch 137: "She could neither love nor trust people. She was timid and sensitive. She got hurt after being at odds with her friends. She really was an ordinary girl you could find anywhere. That's why she lied. A big lie that concealed her weak self completely."

Another description for this is a defense mechanism. Ai was not raised in an environment where vulnerability was met with reassurances. Moreover, as an idol it was hammered into her that she needed to hide anything about herself that could be deemed as negative or ugly. Anything that made her human. Ichigo told her at age 12 to lie until she understood love. She was set up from the get go to consider herself nothing but a liar.

She lied to Hikaru when she said, "I can't love you." This is actually not a big lie so much as the most negative take on her emotions. She wasn't sure she could love him but she wanted to. The real untruth is the way she flippantly strolled out the door as if she didn't care about him. But that doesn't make her a villain and her reasons are obvious given everything told to us about her in ch 137 and her avoidant tendencies she used as a shield to protect herself. She handled the breakup with all the grace of an elephant wearing ice skates but I'm not about to blame her for it.

She lied about love. I saved the big one for last. The thing her characterization hinges on. But it was hardly a lie at all. Not only because she actually did love her kids or that she was trying so hard to love which was its own form of love ("lies are love"), but because the idea of having to love her fans in a personal manner that goes beyond appreciation is actually ridiculous.

Nobody expects an office worker to love their clients or someone working at Starbucks to love their customers. But as an idol she was marketed as a perfect, pure girl, someone men could project their fantasies onto and who was supposed to genuinely love each and every one of them in return. It's nonsense. Ai was certainly not the only idol failing to live up to this. She just took it incredibly hard because she felt her lack of understanding of love was a personal failing.

We are told that Ai was a liar but she was honest as often as she hid the truth. She asked Gotanda to film the real her after he called her out about putting on an act. She was candid in the fan Q&A in 45110. In Viewpoint B she wrote a song that expressed her genuine feelings. She adored her kids so much that she slipped up and nearly talked about them on camera. Ai wanted to share how they had impacted her life but couldn't except through veiled statements. She was completely honest with Ryosuke, treating the moment as if she was in a confessional detailing her sins.

None of this is to say Ai was perfect. We're bonked over the head with the fact that Ai was a regular person who could get angry, who was too timid to push herself to connect with her fellow members of B Komachi, who undoubtedly did and said things that did not reflect her best self just as we all do. But I don't think liar is her defining trait. It's probably not even in her top five. I would describe her as sensitive, loving, mischievous, playful, and intelligent (she could be airheaded but she was incredibly savvy about her image) before I'd call her a liar.

There is no Real Villain Ai. And I can't tell you how glad I am that the theory some people held about her forcing sex on Hikaru was thoroughly debunked. Right up there with people speculating that Crow Girl is actually reincarnated Ai. That just made me laugh. The last thing reincarnated Ai would do is jerk her kids around.

We're told Ai was a liar because that's how she viewed herself. It's not an objective fact or at least not a fact that trumps everything else about her. So the next time someone says "Ai was a liar" my response would be "OK. So what?"

[inky-the-artist]

we're so back‼️

I had a thought process behind this, some yapping about their backstory is under the cut for anyone interested<3

this specifically takes place during monster roadtrip, so i will use this as an opportunity for me to finally share some kind of backstory for them:)

Liam and Inky were highschool sweethearts, she had a massive crush on him for months, but she was the popular girl and he had his whole anti-mainstream thing, so they didn't get along at all at first. all of Inky's friends were absolutely done with her because there were so many other monsters that liked her, and she had to fall in love with the one guy who didn't. (Zoe loved the shipping material though and most of the others were pretty invested too, just for the tea)

(one thing about Inky is that she's got ridiculous charisma both for story and comedic purposes, because in universe, she was drawn by a succubus. she isn't aware of this - she doesn't know any other monster of her kind, and she has never met her creator, which is a big part of her character arc)

she and Liam eventually started talking more after they accidentally interacted a few times and Liam realized she had an actual personality and wasn't just the cliché popular girl. he eventually fell in love with her too, which caused a lot of mixed feelings for him, but he eventually just went with it - very slowburn, very sunshine x grumpy, very cute🎀 they never realy officially started dating but practically acted like a couple anyway, at least outside of school. they went to prom together, it was a huge thing because. high school romance. or something.

after they graduated, Liam had his issues to work through and wasn't ready for a committed relationship, but Inky promised she'd wait for him for as long as he needs. neither of them went to monster camp but they did watch the stars together (I haven't play nearly as much of camp as I did od prom and roadtrip, so that's another reason for this gap lol).

they were on and off for however long the gap between monprom and monroad is. it was a bit of a rollercoaster, sometimes they talked all the time, met up with no problem, sometimes they haven't even texted for days or weeks, because Inky wanted to give Liam the space he needed. she'd let him ghost her and reach out when he felt like it, and she always acted like nothing ever happened, both because she'd just be happy to see him, but because she doesn't want him to feel guilty for working on himself. he still did, but her not giving him a hard time for it helped a lot.

monroad takes place during the longest period of them not talking that ever took place, going on almost six weeks. Liam's been getting therapy, which has been helping, and he's been meaning to reach out to Inky, but six weeks with no contact is a long time and he simply felt bad, so he kept putting it off. he joined Scott and Polly (and an optional player character lol) on their roadtrip as a hitchhiker and stayed with them for a week.

at the end of it, on a rest stop, they ran into none other than Inky, who was also hitchhiking. once again, she acted like nothing was ever wrong and she and Liam spent the whole night at the bench, catching up, talking things out. Inky confesses that she got evicted from her apartment a month ago, and despite being able to get a new home, she's been crashing on Joy's couch. She didn't want to move anywhere without discussing it with Liam first, and he'd offer her to move in on the spot, but they decided it'd be wise to sleep on it for a few days. she decided to join the roadtrip.

nothing too romantic happened for the next few days, because they were constantly around the others and Doing Activities™, that was until the gang decided to get a rental for the night. the rest spontaneously decided to go to a random concert nearby, which was too convenient, so Inky and Liam decided to stay behind. post-character development Liam is literally just a yapper (this is canon and i love it), and after the full evening of Inky listening to his voice and staring at his mouth, and months of mutual longing, everything finally escalated.

(also, Inky's asexual, and I hc Liam being on the ace spectrum as well, so they straight up took clothes of fully for aesthetic purposes because that seems entirely in character)

that's all i got so far. after spending the evening and night together, Liam realized he does want her to move in with him, so that's what going on after that 🫶

if you got this far, thank you for reading!! let me know what you think, I appreciate it🩷

[jazeswhbhaven]

The Encounter of Two Flames | React | Final!

I'm ngl I forgot I didn't do the last day lmaooo but let's do this nowwww.

Even though it's pretty much everyone has seen it already and there's no point in marking it as a spoiler I'm going to go ahead and dive in on this. Now if this is the first post you're seeing of my previous reacts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

If you don't need any of dat, then let's get on with itttt *btw I was wrong and there were only 9 days for the story instead of 10*

But quick recap is that we were left off with Luci showing up to aid Satan after he helped Sitri get over his depressive self-harm moment that nearly burned the entire town down.

Because yah Satan did the thing and ripped his heart out so Sitri could drink his blood from the source like how they first met and junk.

So Luci gave Satan over to Paimon and now Rin is standing up too, the cutie.

Wait...who are you talking to??? <_<

FORASSSSSS???@?@?@?@>

He was spying on them the entire time, it's like I almost forgot Foras could do that lmao I just didn't think this would be remotely relevant...and this is the first time Foras got to meet Lucifer and he was very nice about it.

Wait, Bimet and Eligos now too????? AHHHH>>W>W>????

So Eligos and Bimet were there watching because they share borders and found this important. Eli does admit they should have helped but he's glad it worked out.

ngl Eli the shit was happening for quite a while ya'll sure waited quite a long ass time....

ANYWAYS

Apparently Beel was there well in fly form anyway too. Like did everybody pretty much just show up in Gehenna and just stood around waiting for what Satan would do, I'm kinda being salty about that but when you think about it Satan would of being like "nah"

Mammon ofc was like "Sitri belongs to me so I had to check" and I'm crying because even back then....oh Mammon the man that you are...

Rei is adorable he grabbed onto Luci's sleeve and was trying to say something and I'm like THE BABYYYYYY

He's like a stern older brother lmao

But yeah apparently Jjok can't speak with he is Rei so that answers some speculations. That literally means we won't be hearing that little ridiculous cute squeak toy voice come out of this hot man lol he's literally just silent.

Jjok is so mad lmao he's wondering why he can't speak in his high rank form. So even though we know he can't speak even he doesn't know why he can't.

Luci ofc is like "then don't transform" doing his blunt answer thing and Jjok is like "awh man but I look so coooooolllll" which is on point for his character.

Awh well Jjok has gotta love his fond family more for sure than just someone he admires. I think it's cute of him.

Luci just says to himself that Satan will always have people watching him no matter how small he is. (not everyone still dunking on him for his size goodness)

So we're back in Gehenna after this little scene and Sitri was on probation and all that stuff but Paimon and Leraye are encouraging him to rest up

What's this?

Nah Sitri who you fuckin'?

Tell the class...we won't jump you....cause ya know Solomon ain't there nor is MC so...

who you fuckinnnnnnnnnn

Oh a text? That's who you fuckin' probs I'm callin' it... lmao

So Satan is telling Sitri he's being too mean because the person everyone is wondering who is texting Sitri rn is none other than-

Yup Amy

And Sitri explains that he just wanted to know how he was feeling and that there was other stuff in the text message after that but he said "I ain't readin' all dat" and blocked him lmao

The energy from this devil is real.

Ppyong wonders though why it is that Sitri hates Amy so much when he's normally nice to everyone.

So, how I'm going to interpret this...

I think that Sitri sees himself in Amy, like the brute and feral part of himself that was uneducated and doing just whatever. That raw power and sense of being able to do whatever the fuck he wanted carelessly. He relates to Amy in so many ways it bothers him and he doesn't like being reminded of it, it's like looking at a constant mirror over and over of the behaviors you never want to see that you have of yourself deep down.

But at the same time he can't really blame Amy for that, but unfortunately that's his gripe and his grudge and he won't let go of it no matter what.

And also, it seems that Satan knows truly what it is but because his mischievous and entertained by their banter he doesn't want them to make up like ever.

ugh why won't bae answer my texts like????? LMAO i'm just messin' around.

But at the same time this shit is cute of him. Like he's honestly waiting on a response or like a huge paragraph of Sitri cussin' him out or something

he has a crush on Sitri so bad it's c r a z y.

But anyways he actually cares about him? That's super sweet. I told ya'll in the beginning it seemed like Sitri is way more harsh about their banter than Amy is. On his side it's more like boyish pranks whereas Sitri keeps doing shit to literally inconvenience or damn near kill him lmao

And then it says at the end of this event that the day of Sitri and Amy chilling out on their stuff has yet to come but Gehenna was at peace and their devils are strong and had their own bonds with one another.

And there we have it lovelies. The Satan and Sitri event which kinda felt more like a Sitri event again. I'm slightly disappointed as we didn't really get that much Satan lore and tons more about Sitri instead. I'm actually really starving on some Satan lore because already have so much of the other Kings and barely anything with him...

I'm wondering what the deal is about that. Do the devs just not like Satan as much so therefore put priority into his backstory and other things like his c a r d s on the back burner?

Justice for my OC's man like frfr he out here gettin' crumbs.

But anyways the reason I'd like more insight on him too is that I'm getting into Tokyo Revengers and since this is literally Satan and Belphie's territory in terms of their design and personality type, I'm really just like Y E S ? ? ? MORE??? WHEN ON THE BOIS DAMN.

At any rate I guess we'll all just have wait or just keep griping that we never get anything on Satan and maybe the devs will peep that and listennnn

But thank you all as always for sitting in and reading my stuffs <3 ya'll are cool. Stay simpin' for your faves. -your lovely adminnnnn

[year2000electronics]

I was thinking about this for a little bit but what would happen if Reverse Mabel (especially post-weirdmageddon) meets Anti-Mabel.

Seeing some call Reverse Mabel "evil" I feel this would be a very intresting interaction, Reverse Mabel may see her as someone she could of easily become.

ahh, the "anti" dimension. i ruminated on the concept a LOT back when lost legends first released! i think theres an amateurish fic i wrote somewhere in my files of anti-mabel getting basically-adopted by a one of us au ford BUT I CANT FIND IT.

excuse the opportunity im taking to rant about the idea of anti mabel as a whole lol, but... [continued under cut!]

her dimension is a little confusing to think about sometimes, because the story she comes from, don't dimension it, i think a lot of us can widely agree was almost too much of a "pivot" in a direction we didnt really need to go? it's focusing on addressing mabel's "selfishness", especially in the wake of that flood of mabel hate that started picking up steam, but i feel like the version of mabel that exists in don't dimension it is just... not very true or accurate to the actual character. it feels like a very extended "sorry we had mabel make a rash decision in the heat of the moment that the characters forgave her for because they understand and love her. we will now proceed to have a dimension of all mabels where theyre portrayed as so self-absorbed that theyre all stuck on that dimension with no hope of returning home." excuse my dramatic wording but i swear to god that's what it feels like! and that's what it READS like!

mabel got "caught up in her own mabelness"? she gets distracted with crafts and cats like a SQUIRREL?? the idea of her neglecting those around her being put directly next to her going "i caused an entire apocalypse just to get one more day of summer?" SHE WAS GOING TO LOSE TOUCH WITH HER BROTHER. SHE WAS GETTING LIED TO AND TRICKED BY A GUY WHO HAS LITERALLY BEEN TRYING TO START THE APOCALYPSE FOR BILLIONS OF YEARS NOW. its really ridiculous and it doesnt play well at ALL. this kind of thing really shows to me how trying to please bad-faith critics will literally only make the end product worse.

"but what does that have to do with anti mabel though?" well, anti-mabel's "evil" kinda gets affected by the moral of this story, don't you think? if they arent getting mabel right, then what is this ultimate "anti-mabel" really going to be? not really a reflection of any mabel i know. that's for sure.

but that aside, looking at everything that we know about anti-mabel, her dimension is kinda... played off as a joke? she feels a lot more like a joke character to me more than anything at this point lol

not that i really needed that much development from a one-off antagonist from a silly gravity falls comic but like. how is anti-mabel literally SUPERVILLAIN-TIER EVIL? what? where is she getting the resources for this?? and then you have the rest of her family who are all just like, chill? and its like WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON ANYMORE.

anyways. back to trying to answer the question i was literally asked. i think post-weirdmageddon mabel would see anti-mabel in a different light, thats for sure. anti-mabel's family is nothing like her! maybe she's just lonely. rev mabel knows you can't just get away with doing evil stuff, at least she's learning that, but i think some part of her would sympathize with her deep down

[i-am-a-living-god]

Would you...Share the plot of a story/fic/comic you don't think you'll get to but would like the world to know about?

Ok I didn't answer this at first because I didn't think I had an answer. But now I remember that I do!

So about a year ago me and two other people came up with this au that we named evil Splinter au, (very creative I know.) E.S AU for short.

So the premise is exactly what it sounds like. It's a 2012 au, but because the three of us have an unexplained burning hatred for 2012 Splinter, so we made him evil.

So the deal is, Splinter hates kids, and he's racist, against mutants. One problem, he has mutant kids. So naturally, he decides to MURDER ALL OF HIS TURTLE SONS. Bear with me, he gets attached to the idea of having only one son. so he decided to find the strongest, and weed out the weak.

So when the turtles were young (about 4 years old) he thought that Donnie was the strongest, cause he's tall. But when they got older, Splinter realized that tall does not make you strong. He realized this cause Donnie started getting into medicine, which is for losers. So he stopped loving him, and found a new favorite: Leo.

So Leo ran into the kraang when he was a lil guy, and got experimented on or something. He waddled back to the lair, (because they're basically invulnerable, cause if they died we wouldn't have a plot.) Splinter recognized this as strength, and appointed him as him new favorite. Basically, Splinter tries to get his favorite to help him kill the others.

Omg he's so pathetic lol, he needs the help of a literal child to kill other children, which he still fails to do somehow???😭

So Leo kind of is rewired by the kraang to follow orders for them, but they failed to keep him and he immediately escaped. (Plot armor, don't question it!) Because of this, his eyes shift between pink and blue, blue means he's mostly in control, and pink means the kraang-washing is in control.

Donnie ditches and makes friends with April and Casey, and they get into a relationship. He tries to find a way to fix Leo, and save his brothers or something. He doesn't like Mikey cause he's "suspicious" and Donnie thinks he's totally secretly working for Splinter.

Mikey is just totally freaked out, and also ditchs, and befriends leatherhead, and other mutants. He gets a bit paranoid and starts putting little bits of different Poison's in his brothers food, to build an immunity. It works I guess.

Raph has no idea that Splinter is trying to kill them and just thinks that Splinter is giving them some hardcore training, where you even need to be alert while you sleep!

Leo knows exactly what's going on, and tries his best to find loopholes in Splinters commands, and always manges to understand usually the opposite of what Splinter tells him. (I want you to know that this concept started when we were talking about how splinter is cryptic af, and Leo always seems to understand the opposite in the show.) Leo will also often take killing blows for his brothers, that's how they are still alive. Since Splinter doesn't want to kill Leo, he will often stop the swing before it lands of halfway through so Leo doesn't die. Leo basically uses his own body as a shield.

Anyway that's it mostly, we all made a bit of art, and one-shots for this au that never got posted cause it's a shared au, it would be awkward.

Umm I'm literally writing this at 1am, yes I'm aware that this all sounds ridiculous, especially how I'm writing it. But I do like this au, cringe for the winnn!!! There is more lore shit that I can't remember. And a lot of the stuff that we wrote about it was good (not mine though, that was shit.)

So yeah, heres our shitty au. Ta-da!

Oh yeah I forgot to tag @writing-biting who was one of the people who helped make the au lol.

[askinkiskarma]

Hi x i wanted to talk about something that has happened to me recently, because i feel like it needs to be addressed lol. I would have never considered talking about it if the person in question had had an ounce of maturity and respect, but she obviously doesn’t, and it’s my reputation on the line and my fault for expecting it hahahah.

So a few days ago, the whole Jake is Jacob debacle happened on tumblr, which to me was cute and harmless and fun. Now some people really feel the need to bring other people down and prove (to themselves only, let’s be honest) how “superior” and “intelligent” they are, so she started making fun and basically insulting the OP of the post, which really upset me. I didn’t say anything about it and quietly unfollowed the person, because if i find content I disagree with, that is (to me) the only way to approach the situation.

Anyway, later, i was made aware that she continued trash talking people in the fandom, continuing this tired narrative that despite being the one to initiate it, she was the “victim” bullied by “kids”, which i resented, for a couple of reasons.

1. Ageism is ageism no matter the form it comes in. It is no different to shit on a person just for being young and minding their business, than it is to do so with people who are older.

2. I’m tired of the “i was here first and therefore i am inherently better than you” stupid narrative. You don’t get a cookie cause you found something sooner, pls PLEASE understand that.

3. The “everyone is so young” bs is simply not true. I am the same age as her, so are some of my mooties or just a couple years older, and we’re all here, and we’re all trying to have a good time, and that’s what matters. None of us are out here flaunting our age or our maturity, because it is inconsequential.

4. Saying to someone that their “pre-frontal cortex” isn’t fully developed, is fucking ridiculous. What a stupid argument. You’re really going to insult someone for something they have reasonably absolutely no control over and try to use it as an insult against them? Girlie, in 2023? Do you understand how stupid that is? You think you’re superior cause your mum pushed you out a few years earlier like you had anything to do with it??? Like idk that is wild to me.

5. You can’t insult people on here for “being young and dumb” and how much “better” and “more mature” you are, and then in the same breath pick a fight with them and be willing to die on that hill. Because if you have any sort of common sense, that would imply that you must be succumbing to their levels and you are not capable of having any higher level discourse. Like how do you not see that that you're just proving to everyone how immature you truly are?

So, i wrote her an ask. Not on anon, not trying to start anything, just an ask telling her my opinion and telling her that as someone who is the same age as her, her behaviour is disappointing.

Now i need you to see the message because she won’t show it to you, because she wants to build this narrative that people are “harassing” her. Please note that nobody is “harassing” her. If i wanted to harass her, I could and I would not do it with my username intact. I wanted to her to understand the opinion (that i share with my friends and mooties) of someone who’s the same age as her. She won’t answer it because she knows there is no way to spin this in her favour.

Instead, what she can do, is what she does best. Trying to spin this negatively, insulting me and my writing (you’re 26 and the best you could come up with is “god awful cringey ass fics”? ouch, that hurt.) and tagging it “neteyam imagine” cause what person who wants to read neteyam fics doesn’t want to see that. Now again, she is blocked for me because I absolutely do not want to engage with people like her, but i was made aware of this and since she’s talking about me and could potentially come to people’s inboxes or dms and talking trash about me, i wanted you besties to know and to read everything and make your own minds about it, having all the information, not just what she deems appropriate to give you.

Anyway, sorry for this long ass rant, but it needed to be said. Please, if you don’t agree with someone, especially if it’s over something so incredibly trivial as a name, let it go. It’s not worth it. If it’s something not trivial, block. It’s not worth it. Insulting someone for things they have no control over doesn’t put you on top, it makes you a dick. Acting like you’re inherently better cause you’ve been in a fandom longer isn’t cool, trust me. Just please, save your energy and put it in your art, in your job, in your relationships, in yourself.

Now, i will go write my cringey ass fics 😉 good luck besties, and smooches.

ALSO!!! DO NOT engage with this person. PLEASE. Please do not prove her right. Please do not leave her anon hate or anything of the sort, please please please. It’s not worth it.

[misc-obeyme]

your post about the human au with beel as a farmer has me giggling and kicking my feet!! and now i can't stop imagining the brothers on their own little farm (writing this even though i know nothing about farming)

lucifer and satan mainly handle the finances, making sure they have the best equipment and techniques to produce good crops. the goats and sheep seem to take a liking to lucifer, especially the baby ones, who love chewing on his clothes. satan stays away from them bc they keep thinking his blond hair is food, choosing instead to coo over the farm cats

mammon and levi are the unofficial handlers and bully victims of the birds. mammon gets pecked by the chickens as he goes to collect their eggs, and he says one day, he'll cook them all up as revenge!! (everyone knows he's lying). levi spends more time with the ducks, where they quack at him on the farm and when he's fishing at the local ponds. (one time, a group of baby ducks imprinted on him and followed him home. it took forever for him to get them back to their mama)

asmo does a lot of advertising for the farm, with both his social media and charming personality at the farmers' market. he designs the cutest packaging and sews any holes that end up in his brothers' clothes with lovely little patches. his favorite animals on the farm (a couple piglets and bunnies) are marked with pink bows, but you could tell by how he squeals whenever he sees them

you already went over beel, but i imagine him still having his super strength and can easily carry adult sheep with ease. he also has gained a lot of (kissable) freckles from being in the sun all the time

belphie is a straight up cow whisperer, which may be caused by his habit of cuddling with the cows on their pasture to skip out on chores. but he's great at milking and can instantly tell if something's wrong with the cows, to the point that other farmers go to him in need of help. he's a lazybones hero!

aaaaaa the sillies - 🎠

Honestly, I'm surprised that little post of mine got so much attention lol! I was definitely thinking about it more in terms of what I think the boys would do if they were humans, rather than how it would be if they all worked on the same farm. But I saw a couple tags suggesting a Stardew Valley crossover, which could be all of them on the same farm or all of them with separate farms. I haven't played Stardew in a long time, but I am so obsessed with farming sims it's ridiculous. My favorite is Story of Seasons Trio of Towns, I've played it so many times and I still replay it from time to time because I loved it so much lol.

ANYWAY that's all to say that my farming experience comes almost entirely from video games. I took a class about plants and agriculture in high school, but otherwise it's all vibes and cozy gaming!

But I think you've nailed it with these. I keep seeing Satan falling asleep in a pile of hay, just completely covered in barn cats. Cute lil Asmo all decked out like a farmer but only for the aesthetic 'cause he's running that farmer's market booth like nobody's business. Cow whisperer Belphie, please I love it so much.

Also freckled, sun-kissed Beel... human!Beel would have so many freckles if he spent any time outside at all. I love this because I'm extremely freckled myself and it'd be really cute if MC had freckles to match his.

Though I actually hadn't even thought about MC's role in a human au. Since they're already human. Would it be reversed? MC is the demon in this scenario? Or just MC is their same human self but they meet the others in a different way? I think both options could be interesting. I was initially going with the idea of there being no magic and no realms though.

I was trying to think of what the characters would do with their lives based on their interests and Beel just screamed farmer to me. Like yeah he probably still works out a bunch, but he really loves food. So I thought it would be interesting to consider that as his primary motivation for wanting to become a farmer. He just wants to feed everybody.

Anyway, I love this, I'm thoroughly enjoying imagining the boys on their farm. Though Mammon threatening to cook the chickens is hilarious. Like I can just hear him saying that to a bunch of indifferent hens, too. It reminds me of a story my mom used to tell me about my great-grandmother getting so annoyed at my uncle's pet rooster for getting his beak tangled in her yarn that she straight up made soup out of him. I dunno how true that story is, but it's one my mom & her siblings have told me numerous times lol.

[shroomerr]

Shroom, darling! It's me! In your inbox! I hope you're doing alright! I got questions about Anh!

1) Was she born in South Park, or did her family move in? What is her family life like?

2) You mentioned before that her and Craig are close, even touched on their dynamic a little bit! What do they do when they hang out? Do they remain close after high-school?

3) When she's an adult, what do you think she does for a living? Is she happy doing it?

4) I am absolutely in love with that picture you drew of her and Kyle where she's the witch! What school of magic does she master? Is that her TSOT outfit?

5) Have you made a Playlist for her yet? If so, gimbe 🤲 please!

Present day shroomer here: I'm so sorry this took so damn long you can tell exactly how long ago this was written because I talk about my assignments SJDLAHA WHATEVERR TIME IS A CONSTRUCT ANYWAY

AHH DUDEEE 💓💞💖 THANK YOU SM FOR THESE QUESTIONS!!! Other than these assignments making me low key tweak, I'm doing good esp now that there's only one week left (it is now past the semester oops)!! Having these asks is such a nice distraction from all of the monotonous work. It makes me so happy that you want to know more about Hanh!!

(also no youre not going crazy haha, I changed her name from Anh to Hanh. Her full name is Dao Hanh Tran! Tran being her last name)

Ok, onto the questions!!

Was the born in South Park, or did her family move in? What is her family life like?

I mention it briefly here, but Hanh and her family moved into South Park! Timeline wise, I imagine that this move happens before the town became gentrified and people from all over started moving in. They're originally from Michigan and moved to Colorado in order to be closer to family, and South Park seemed like the perfect place to call home (but mostly because her dad found a ridiculously cheap house listing that was too good to pass up). To which Hanh was sorely disappointed, seeing as they just went from one cold climate to an even colder climate, but this time with nothing but mountains and rednecks all around.

Her dad is a restaurant owner and her mom works at a nail salon that's owned by one of their relatives. I think it would be pretty funny if her dad owned the City Pho that we see in Post Covid and if he had a sort of rivalry with the Lu Kim from City Wok, lol. No siblings. When she's young, Hanh has a good relationship with her parents. No tragic deaths or backstories of the sort (yet). She kind of has the perfect life, despite their busy schedules: they bring her out to go a lot of places, spend a lot of time with her and are financially stable. When they first move to South Park, her parents would usually pick her up after school and bring her to the nail salon or at the restaurant either to do homework or to help out with the business (because you're not truly Asian until you participate in child labour! Whoo!).

It's only after integrating themselves into the town more and becoming familliar with the neighbors (aka the M4) that her parents trust her to stay at the boys' houses more, only after getting to know their parents well enough. This is mostly because their workplace is outside of South Park and their closing hours are relatively late, so they don't want to make her stay up too late with them.

As she grows up, her relationship with both of her parents becomes rocky. Around when she reaches Middle School, her parents start putting a lot of academic pressure and expectations on her, especially her mom. Their dad also starts becoming more distant, not only from working on expanding the restaurant chain but also because of family issues stemming from Hanh's grandma on their dad's side: a lot of back and forth trips from South Park to Denver, who takes care of grandma because no nursing home would take her, their grandma's dementia making her incredibly difficult to talk to, etc. It starts causing a lot stress for Hanh's dad and subsequently causes a lot of problems at home, where now both parents are constantly fighting (with very poor attempts at hiding it). Pair that with stubborn attitudes, insecurities and blame games? Yea, nothing constructive is coming out of this. Around this time Hanh tries to avoid being home as much as possible: spending time studying at the library, Kyle's house, hell even at Stan's farm if she can. If I ever get to explore this in a story or comic, this would be a major plot point of what I would want to explore, along with the other boys' problems and dynamics.

Maybe someday I'll figure out a happy ending for them...

You mentioned before that her and Craig are close, even touched on their dynamic a little bit! What do they do when they hang out? Do they remain close after high-school?

Oof that last one was kind of heavy, so let's talk about something more light-hearted! So I'd like to think that Hanh was close with Tweek before they became close with Craig. Speaking of Tweek!! I feel so bad that I completely forgot about him in the best friend ask, but he's arguably one of her closer friends. At the very least, closer than Wendy. But yea, since she became close to Craig thanks to Tweek, usually all three of them hang out together: either studying (very rarely and very begrudgingly: Tweek has barely any time for studying with working at the coffee shop and Craig just doesn't care), or usually their main activity is just going to Craig's place to watch Red Racer for the 100th time (shh don't tell Craig but at this point Hanh barely pays attention and she just draws the whole time, lol). They do this pre-Creek and even post-Creek, because both Craig and Tweek find it stupid to let their relationship affect their other friendships, so they still stay close to each other. They tried doing a group miniature model assembly thing with one of Tweek's sets, but he got too stressed out trying to tell them all of the instructions and seeing them mess up that they never tried it again, lol. If Tweek is busy at the coffee shop, both Craig and Hanh will go there to visit him and keep him company (though Hanh tries not to go with Craig too often just so that the two love birds can have some alone time 🤭). But for specifically Hanh and Craig, I think the two of them are the types of people to not want to do anything too extravagant when hanging out together because just the thought of it can be exhausting: so they stick to just hanging out, watching cartoons, maybe play video games (trying to beat each other in Smash, Mario Party, fighting games, etc.) and sometimes just silently doing their own thing but in the same room. I think after high school, they'd definitely talk a lot less since I imagine that Craig and Hanh would move out of South Park so that proximity aspect does affect their friendship. However, conversations always get picked up as if no time has passed. So, yes, they still remain close even after high school :)

When she's an adult, what do you think she does for a living? Is she happy doing it?

When she grows up she becomes an artist! Specifically an illustrator, so not the kind that makes paintings and puts them up in galleries, but the ones that work with clients, does commissions, work for certain companies, etc. I'm not too sure specifically what kind of illustrator she'd be, since there's so many different kinds. Maybe she'd work as a concept artist for a game company, or as a freelancer picking up odd job offers from different indie studios, or maybe she'd even try to establish her own brand and sell her own merchandise! If after high school she's still hesitant on choosing that path, she'd probably study psychology just to have a fallback plan, but the final goal will always be illustrator! And yea, it's definitely something she's happy doing.

I am absolutely in love with that picture you drew of her and Kyle where she's the witch! What school of magic does she master? Is that her TSOT outfit?

Ok I had to look this up because I am a DnD NOOB I only know like....... the very bare minimum.

So I didn't really have a specific school of magic in mind of Hanh when I made that witch design. I just kind of thought "haha funny witch" and rolled with it because I love witches HAHA so I think she's kind of got a bit from every school of magic? I'm so sorry if this isn't the answer you were looking for, I really didn't think too hard about it when I made that drawing haha

But I can tell you more about the other question! So no, that isn't her TSOT outfit. I guess you could say it's her in a Monster AU? Since we have Vampire Kyle that originated from the Pinkeye Halloween episode, I kind of thought "oh if she was celebrating Halloween with them, she'd have a witch costume for that episode. Oh, what if I turn that into some sort of Monster AU?" And since a lot of the inspiration was taken from that fic I mentioned in the original post, it just got the synapses sparking HAHA

Her TSOT version though.... ooo.... I've been working on it for a while, and I've still got the game to play but I think I've got a pretty concrete idea of how I want it to look? There's just some kinks I'm not 100% sure on, but I've mostly got the lore figured out.

Have you made a Playlist for her yet? If so, gimbe 🤲 please!

ok, so funny little story uh.......... im a "liked songs" kind of person and i NEVER make playlists. ive actually only started making playlists like 2 months ago (and only started using spotify like 2 weeks ago) when i got sick of scrolling through my liked songs and i didnt even have any playlists for my characters UNTIL THIS ASK LOLL

But!! I've learned since then!! So let me show you what I've got so far:

In terms of a playlist that she'd listen to, I cannot give you an answer to this because this girl will quite literally listen to everything lol (not me projecting but eh whatever this whole character is me projecting anyway). It'll go from Beabadoobee, to Mother Mother, to Sleep Token, to Tyler the Creator, to New Jeans, to JVB, to DPR Ian, to Nothing but Thieves, to Tame Impala, to the Beastie Boys, to Charli XCX— yea ok you get the picture. It's rare for her to like everything from a single artist and she has songs from every corner. She's a fan of pretty much every genre, it's just that she'll be picky about what songs she ends up enjoying. So yea, her music taste is my music taste!

As for the actual playlist I made for her: it's a mix of both songs that I think fit her vibe and songs that relate to her story. Good luck figuring out which is which, though, because I put both of them together HAHA

Some songs are not related to her story/do not fit her characterization at all (ex: i think there's a beabadoobee song that talks about one night stands? and that is nottt the kind of person she is). It's also because I haven't had the time to check all of the lyrics for each song to make sure they fit her vibe, so I just decided to lump the both of them together lol.

(Some day I'll make one that's specifically works for her story, but I'd have to actually write it out first. But for now, this works.)

[deathsbestgirl]

okay here goes: never again & the cancer arc.

a little more in depth? than what i've already posted lol

never again opens with scully sitting in the basement office, contemplating where she fits, where she is in "their" office. she's holding mulder's nameplate and the first thing she says to him, after he ranted about having to take vacation, is "why don't i have a desk?"

he doesn't seem to understand why she's asking, where it's coming from and answers glibly, sarcastically. she's not happy with his answer. so she just...moves on, asking what he wants her to do while he's gone.

in the first scene, we saw scully not paying attention while their informant talked to mulder. she's looking at a memorial, the messages & gifts people left for a lost loved one. she takes a wilting flower petal.

season 4 has been tense. they've dealt with some twisted cases, she was held in contempt, she couldn't protect mulder or give him what he needed or stop him making a huge mistake in paper hearts. skinner was disappointed in her. they also had one of their most ridiculous cases in el mundo gira, an episode i know is commonly disliked. i don't necessarily enjoy it either but there are a few lines that really grabbed my attention.

it's about immigrants, who avoid the government at all costs in fear of deportation or jail (maybe worse). but they're mostly invisible. they're hired for cheap labor, but that's the most they're noticed for. their deaths & lives aren't a concern to this country.

scully is able to find the cause, but the two men infected & spreading the deadly fungus escape. they escape because they're "invisible"

scully wasn't there for mulder's conversation with lozano, but her statement at the end echos what lozano says in a way. when they first arrived, scully waved her badge around completely not understanding how she would be received in a migrant community as a federal agent. she made the same assumptions lozano did. but she follows mulder's lead, and the science, and the truth lands somewhere in the middle, and there isn't a satisfying conclusion to the case. yet again.

they rarely get all the answers. and even when they solve a murder, close a case — what's the cost?

i think scully sometimes feels invisible. her life is standing still. they're hidden away in the basement. she already had to fight for a place in male dominated fields. now she has to fight for the validity of the x files & mulder.

and maybe more than that, mulder doesn't always understand that scully wants to be on the x files, in the basement with him. she was assigned and he doesn't take her dedication & investment as seriously. not because he doesn't know the personal cost to her, or that she chose to stay, but because he has a hard time believing it, accepting it. he tells her several times there's life beyond the x files, to go be a doctor, she'll be head of the bureau. he never expected her to stay, to make it her life too. but she does. she chooses him & the x files over and over. and she wants him to understand, but i don't think she completely understands either.

i said once that it seemed to me scully truly realized how deep she was in with mulder in folie a deux. she was frustrated when mulder acts like he's the only one being "punished" being assigned to a case he thinks is a load of crap, but she was taking seriously. to her, it's always "we" and he acts like it's just him. he goes off without her, ends up needing her help & being right that it was a legitimate case & an x file! and in the end, she tells skinner as much as she can. she sees the zombie people. she sees the being in his room. a madness shared by two.

anyway. i think in never again she wasn't sure exactly what was bothering her, but she knew she was hitting that wall. and that's how she ended up with ed. talking about her patterns. mulder doesn't exactly fit the mold, but scully still wasn't getting what she wanted or needed. and she only calls ed for a date after mulder makes that comment.

mulder knew she would go, even though she refused in their office. he knew exactly where to find her. he was frustrated with her in the beginning, and then he's frustrated with her again for giving up the case when following pudovkin didn't lead to anything x files related, only russian mob. he wasn't trusting her, wasn't believing her.

the last time he asked her about a date was in the jersey devil. which he interrupted and she was happy for it. she didn't take the second date. this time when he asks, she decides to go on a date. exercise some autonomy instead of doing "as told, as always"

scully wants to work on the x files with mulder and have a life. when given the choice, whenever options are presented to her, she chooses mulder every time. but she wants to feel the same in return, especially after she feels like she's failed (him).

at ed's apartment, she doesn't want to go to the nice restaurant he got a reservation for. she wants to go the bar that's a great place to go when you're feeling crappy. because she's so obviously feeling crappy. when have we seen her seek out a date? or any other male attention? (seriously anyway, or without going back to mulder)

even though mulder isn't the typical controlling figure in her life, though he has his moments, like what's happening here...what she says about her father is true of mulder too.

she's hitting that wall, she needs to rebel. but how can she "rebel" against mulder & their work, on a illegitimate x file (lol). she rightfully hands off the case, then goes on a date, gets a tattoo and sleeps with a man who ends up trying to kill her (arguably stumbling into a real x file)

i think scully figured out what she needed to. she doesn't seem affected by this instance of violence like she was by duane barry, her abduction or donnie pfaster. (ed had just tried to kill her and she still tries to stop him sticking his arm in the furnace. she kept appealing to him.)

she knows what she wants at the end. but mulder won't say it, and neither will she. they both know but if they can't say it, they can't be on the same page and they can't really move forward. they stay in the ouroboros, in the endless line. somehow different yet exactly the same.

mulder not finishing his sentence, refusing to repeat her words back to her, was like a nail in the coffin. they know. it is their life. their lives have become (almost) completely intertwined, they made it this way. they are each other's person, they have the same path because of the choices they make over & over.

and then: mulder starts to do something different in leonard betts.

scully has always been there when he needs her, for the work, for samantha, for his mom. mulder is always there when she's emotionally vulnerable (as far as she lets him). she says she's fine over & over, she tells him she's back & she's not going anywhere. and when it comes crashing down around her, when she can't hold the facade & he's there & steady for her, she falls apart in the safety of his arms.

[side note: it's so funny to me how scully still never has any idea what she's walking into. if we don't see a slideshow, she's going in completely blind. he always gives the case to her piece by piece.]

this scene is just. my favorite. mulder can look at horribly disfigured bodies, he'll touch & taste anything at a crime scene. but he's disgusted when he realizes he's touching bile. he can hold it together at dismembered bodies, but would love to draw the line at touching them.

but scully asked for his help, and how often has she done that in regards to her domain on cases? i'm sure there had to be some, but i can only remember her asking mulder to smell a body in revelations.

anyway. this man is genuinely horrified at the idea of digging through a dumpster of left over body parts.

there's nothing he wants to do less, but he does it. because she asks him to. (and it should lead them to some answers.)

later, leonard betts goes after scully. tells her "i'm sorry, but you've got something i need" after they've ascertained is brain was "riddled" with cancer, and he feeds on it, could identify it in anyone, he spent a lot of time in cancer wards, likely scavenging when he could.

scully is shaken after.

and here, mulder doesn't understand what's bothering scully, and he does something we don't seem him do very often, if ever this outright? he explicitly tells her she did a good job, she should be proud.

i think i've said before i don't think scully lets herself feel proud very often. she craves validation, always tries to do the most, is always excited to tell mulder when she has something. here he's giving her something she should love, and she can't appreciate it because she needs to get out of there. she's terrified. another case solved, ending in death. she saved herself again. but now...she's facing the possibility of cancer. and despite being a skeptic, she believes leonard betts.

which!! we saw earlier in the episode too. when she's about to examine leonard betts' decapitated head and his eyes open & his mouth moves, almost as if whispering to her (genuinely reminds me of when she sees her father in beyond the sea) — she can't continue the autopsy. she calls mulder and he picks up on it immediately. and in this moment, she isn't particularly vulnerable. and more typically, that's when we see her believe most, when her defenses are weakened and she needs something to hold onto, or she can't bring herself to use her defenses.

"blinked or winked?" his jokes this episode are so important to me. because never again was so tense, so leonard betts taking place after never again and before memento mori is a good cushion. he's responding to what he understood about scully after never again, and trying to bring back their usual banter. scully is still pretty annoyed with him but they're still together on this case. they disagree, scully playing skeptic as mulder throws his crazy theories at her.

and scully's expressions whenever they're on the phone are so much more expressive. it's special. she lets go of her professionalism and just reacts, and mulder is having a great time. he thinks they're getting back to a better place, and they are, but everything still remains in the silence.

mulder is still making jokes and scully pretends to be unamused (she is hopeless in the best way). and because i love when scully says riddled:

so truly, leonard betts is a connecting episode. there are a few lighthearted moments after the intensity of never again, an episode that was about mulder not understanding where scully was coming from, and leonard betts is about what he was able to understand. giving her validation. it's also makes more sense that he doesn't try to give her any physical comfort after, to me, if leonard betts happens after never again. paper hearts happened not that long ago, and scully was fierce in that episode and physically affectionate with him.

mulder and scully both knew at the end of never again what's between them. mulder leaves "but it's become mine" unsaid, he cuts himself off. scully was frustrated with not truly knowing her place with mulder, on the x files, in their office. his unfinished sentence and the following silence said it all. if it was ever going to happen, it would have been right then. and it doesn't.

leonard betts is a little cushion between two intense episodes. the awareness of their feelings in never again, trying to find their rhythm again in leonard betts & scully's revelation at the end. they lead to the emotional & physical vulnerability in memento mori and through the cancer arc. the feeling of what they're losing before it even started.

[psalacanthea]

Fanfic Friday- 5/3

The poll decreed I must pull out something ridiculously self-indulgent I wrote for myself, so here you go!

Astarion x Tav if they'd met before he was a vampire spawn, and she had an oopsie baby after he disappeared.

Post-canon, trying to build a home in a ruined Drow city in the Underdark while dealing with two separate families- mortal and vampire.

This is NOT kidfic (all children involved are full adults, lol), but rather them reconnecting after she was bullied by their daughter to help kill Cazador so her father could finally be free.

10kish words, SFW. (lmk if u think i should put this on AO3)

Much like the rest of their unnamed city, deep in the bowels of the Underdark, Astarion’s study slash meeting hall was half-ruined, empty, and lacking in livable touches.

He hated it.

Still, they were ostensibly safe, and at least for the moment he had some company to complain at.

“And then– you’ll never believe this– Octavia said that it was Rydell who had insulted the Drow ambassador, and worse still, Dalyria defended her.  Everyone knows it was Octavia.  She’s not subtle!  It’ll be a wonder if they ever speak to us again.”

“The amount of drama a bunch of vampire spawn can get up to is rather impressive,”  Lilithera said, voice just a tiny bit distracted.  It usually was.  She spent far too much time working, something he’d have to talk to Zynatheri about.  “Did it cause problems with the negotiations?”

“No,” Astarion sighed, grateful that wasn’t a problem, at least.  “Luckily the myconids standing guard kept things civil.  It was a spot of brilliance suggesting a bit of– what did you call it?”

“Mmmmmmh, symbiosis?”

“Yes, that.  Darling, what in the Hells are you doing that has you so distracted?”

“Sorry, father,” she said, chagrined, voice echoing out of the scrying orb awkwardly as she moved away from her half of the enchanted relic she'd installed for him.  “I’ve been buried in that stack of books you had mother bring me– the cyphered necromancer’s journals you unearthed in the grand crypt?  I don’t know if there’s going to be anything helpful in them, but they’re still fascinating to translate.”

Anything but that.  Ugh.  It was his fault for feeding the wizard’s curiosity, he supposed.  “Your mother would kill me if you turned to necromancy, love.  Especially Drow necromancy.  You need to get out more. Get some sun.”

Lilithera laughed, an edge of sarcasm sharpening it.  “The irony of being told that by my undead father is not lost on me.  I’m trying to help you get out more.  I was invited to a Liar’s Night party, though.  I haven’t been to Waterdeep in an age, I was considering it.  Mother said she’d look after the twins.”

Waterdeep?

Oh no.  “Who invited you, exactly?”

“Archmage Dek–”

“Absolutely not!  Gale?!  Stay the Hells away from that man!”

Zynatheri was going to murder him.  Quite honestly he would let her, rather than being subjected to the idea of being Gale’s father in law.  Oh gods, just thinking those words made him want to vomit.  No, no, absolutely not.

Whatever was going on between Lily and Gale, as her parents they had a duty to utterly sabotage it.

“Father, he’s a colleague!  You and mum are utterly unreasonable.  I’m a hundred and ninety three years old, a widow, and a mother of four, need I remind you.”

“Mmh,” he muttered with an annoyed purse of his lips, trying to think up an actual, valid argument.  She was always so reasonable and logical, it could be frustrating at times.  She certainly hadn’t gotten that from him or Zynatheri. 

“What is your problem with Gale, anyways?”

“He’s my friend, darling, it feels…wrong.  Plus his romantic history is absolutely horrifying, let me tell you.  Who would want that for their daughter?”

Who would want the possibility of having Dekarios grandchildren?

Disgusting.

“I don’t think the man that got my mother pregnant and then disappeared has any right to judge me.  Speaking of, is mum there yet?  She should be arriving soon, shouldn’t she?”

“Who knows with that woman.  She’s worse than a stray cat,”  Astarion dismissed, despite wondering as much himself.  He was still feeling irritated over their argument last time she’d come by, and the fact that she’d gone and disappeared after it– he didn’t particularly mind disagreeing with her, but she always ran away afterward.  It was getting frustrating.  “How the Hells do you keep her from running off?”

“Oh, I stopped trying years ago.  Are you saying…you don’t want her running off?”  there was a sly, cunning little note to Lilithera’s voice.  That she had gotten from him.  Devious brat.

“I’m saying she showed up in my life, saved said life, dropped an entire family in my lap, and then went prancing off into the sunset.  Now she only reappears to do incredibly helpful things, and then briefly infuriate me before disappearing!  It’s very confusing.”

“Imagine having her for a mother.  Have you tried thinking up a reason for her to stay?  A task you might need her help with?  She might be fickle but she always keeps her word, you know.  Or are you too busy pouting and refusing to actually be the one to blink first?”

He rose from his seat, tossing aside the endless piles of reports.  The warming bottle Gale had enchanted for him was only half-full, but that was the state of things right now.  Food was in very short supply, especially with how the idiots kept losing their self-control and stealing from the rothe herd.  And actual thinking food?  

Nothing more than a daydream.

Still, at least he was eating in a more…civilized manner these days.

Pouring blood from bottle into glass, he raised his voice.  “No matter what I say, you’re going to twist it around in that pretty little head of yours until you’ve convinced yourself we’re pining after one another.  She’s a maddening, smug, evil little wretch and just because she confuses me doesn’t mean I’m desperate to learn all her secrets.”

“You’d never know if she were pining after you, anyways.”

Astarion glanced back over his shoulder at the scrying orb, raising his eyebrows.  “And what exactly do you mean by that?”

“Father, she knows what you’ve been through.  Mother would never make the first move, she’s far too respectful for that; she doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable.  She told me as much last time I badgered her about you.”

“You really are a meddlesome little pest, aren’t you, darling?”

There was laughter in her voice.  “It’s a family trait.  When I was a child, before she discovered what had happened to you, I hated you.  I was happy you were gone.  Now that I know you and understand…well, you’re probably the only person I know of that could put up with her.  And vice versa.”

“Stop meddling, love.  You’re too pretty to fret over such things, you’ll give yourself wrinkles.”

“You’re only saying that because everyone says I look like you.  I should go, I’m having dinner with Portia.”

“Tell the girl I say hello.”

“You’re going to have to get used to the word ‘grandfather’ sooner or later.”

Astarion grimaced, glancing out the window.  “No thank you.”

“Ilethra’s getting married.  You might be a great-grandfather before you know it.”

He scowled out at the fungus-lit cavern beyond, spite and annoyance simmering.  How dare she make him feel old like that?  “You’re no longer my favorite.  Why did you have to marry a human?  At least if your children were elven we’d have more time.”

“If you want another full elven child, I suggest you make one yourself.  Ta, father.  I love you.”

By the time the words sank in past his surprise, the spell had long since been banished, the scrying orb dark.  Still, he glanced over his shoulder, gazing at it as an unfamiliar, but welcome warmth rose within him.  She said it so easily, and so earnestly.  

He had someone who loved him.

Of course he put his best foot forward with her most of the time, but Lilithera wasn’t a child.  She was a fully grown woman, and an intelligent and discerning one at that.  He hadn’t tricked her into saying it.

She really, truly meant it.

He wondered if she still would if she knew everything he’d done.

Still, there was no point dwelling on it.  Not when he was neck-deep in shit without a shovel in sight.  Why he’d thought two centuries of in-fighting and petty conflict could be banished all at once, he didn’t know, but when they weren’t demanding he provide all the answers, his siblings spent all of their time arguing.

They’d lost a good thousand of their people already to death and decampment, which he couldn’t say he felt too badly about.  Less mouths to feed, at least.  But the others were panicking, worried about the ill-will those that left could be garnering.  As much as he hated to agree, they might be right.

Petras was trying to convince him to hire assassins to hunt them down.

As if they had the money for that.

Hells, they’d barely stopped traveling, and half of them were sleeping the days away in holes in the ground.  Hardly a safe situation.  That was why allying with the myconids had been a spot of brilliance.  Still a tenuous alliance, but they were working on it.  The Sovereign trusted Zynatheri at least; which would be more useful if the damnable woman would stay.  Now, if only they could forge an alliance with the nearby Drow, instead of having to fear they’d be turned on at a moment’s notice…

He really needed someone to talk to about all of this that wasn’t a vampire themselves.

Just to clear his mind, if nothing else.

Unfortunately, it took a full fortnight for the cat to come back.

“Poppy!  Lysander!”

Why were all her bloody family members so tall?!

Zyn’s fault, entirely.  If she wanted a child, she should have found another drow, but no– no, she’d gone and had a daughter with a high elf.  And then, even worse, her daughter had gone and had children with an even taller human!  It wasn’t fair, that’s what it was.  She was tempted to polymorph herself just to keep up, but after they’d gotten into a scrabble with cloakers earlier, Zyn was feeling a bit low on spellpower.

The twins, of course, were in fine spirits, galumphing along like colts.

“Come on, little mum!” Poppy called back, standing at the top of a narrow cliffside path.  It needed widening.  Some masonry, supports, and a retaining wall, at least.

She knew Astarion had other priorities, but having a good route to the city would be important.  Sadly, she knew as much about road-building as she knew about city planning.  Nil.

“I need you two to hold back!  We can’t enter the city without an escort, you know this!”

The pair paused at the cusp of the hill, but their backs were to Zyn.  She took the incline herself with ill grace, very, very ready to be off of her feet.  She despised the Underdark.  Zyn couldn’t believe in the past year she’d been down here almost a dozen times.  The things one did for family.

Lilithera kept thinking up reasons she needed Zyn to come down.

The girl couldn’t be more obviously trying to herd her parents into a relationship if they tried.

Zynatheri felt…pleasantly surprised by Astarion.  Over the years she’d had nothing at all to do with him after locating him.  And what Lilithera had told her from her scrying wasn’t enough to make any judgments about what he was going through, not enough to know his attitude about his unlife.  When he’d been kidnapped, Lilithera had immediately begged her to find him and protect him, and she’d done her best.

But her expectations of a man who had been tortured and a vampire for two hundred years were very, very low.

So to find him more like the young man she barely remembered than expected was a shock.  Oh, he was more confident now, much more traumatized, and far more worldly and mature, but there was still something of that ambitious, fussy, self-absorbed spoiled brat she’d liked so much in him.  It wasn’t as if she hadn’t gotten more bitter and nasty over the years, herself.

Life did that even if you weren’t being abused by a vampire.

Zyn finally reached the top of the hill, ignoring the worried look and gracefully extended hand Lysander offered down her.  He was a sweet boy, but spent far too much time worrying.  It made her feel old.

“Darling, I’m barely even three hundred,” she told him, not bothering to hide the exasperation.  “Before long, you’re going to be older than me!”

“That isn’t how it works, little mum,” Poppy said with a roll of her eyes.

The twins couldn’t be more different and yet oddly alike– they both were the most curiously sensitive and caring children she’d ever met, but with a morbid streak a mile wide.  But while Lysander turned it inward, with dreamy eyes and a worrying penchant for poetry, Poppy turned it outward, with a ferocity of purpose and a helping hand that preferred to hold an axe.  And yet, there had never been two siblings as close-knit as they were.

When Lysander had asked to meet their grandfather, it hadn’t even been a question that Poppy would come along.

Besides, she needed more combat experience.

Together they stood on that precipice, attention naturally drawn to the ruin below them.  An ancient drow city, where her mother’s own people had been driven out generations ago in a conflict with the Houses of Menzoberranzan.  It looked…better than she recalled from last time, some signs of repairs beginning.  Clumsy repairs, mind, but between the vampires’ awkward attempts at masonry and the myconids’ aid in the form of natural fungal structures, it was beginning to look livable.

The multicolored mushrooms glowing against the surface of the ancient, slick black, spiky architecture was a surprisingly pleasant contrast.

“This was once called Arzullnioth.  It’s where your great-grandmother’s family lived long before the Spellplague.  The Houses of Arzullnioth attacked Menzoberranzan.  It did not go well,”  Zynatheri commented, starting to lead the way down the slope.  “Llolth chose Menzoberranzan, but your great-grandmother’s House was spared her wrath because they sacrificed every first-born daughter to her in a desperate placation.  They killed and killed until Lolth bid them stop, with only a single heir left– your great-great grandmother Kiivashti.  Thus, they were allowed to flee the city with what remained of House Tzahane.  My mother told me of it when I was a girl.” “That’s vicious,”  Poppy said disapprovingly, short raven curls bouncing as she shook her head.

“It’s very beautifully sad,” Lysander agreed, amber-and-earth eyes gazing over the cityscape with misty wonder, as if viewing its past.  “Did grandfather find their bodies?”

“Well, I don’t know, pet,”  Zynatheri said, too well-used to fatalistic minds to be bothered by it.  “We can look.  Perhaps they’ve found some clues that would point us to where great-grandmother’s family put their dead.”

“Honestly, little mum, I can see why you don’t like your family,” Poppy said with distaste.  “Killing all your own children; how evil.”

They walked together down the uneven slope of stone, the remnants of an ancient roadway more visible now.  The gate and wall that had closed out the great cavern of Arzullnioth were crumbled, damaged, but it seemed there were sentry myconids patiently standing in the gap where the city’s entrance had been.  Proper guards.  It was good to see.

The Sovereign Vorm had been busy at work budding, it seemed.

“Flower, we are walking into a city full of vampires, so try not to be too enthusiastic about calling things evil?”

“There’s a difference.  I’m not a child any more, I understand,”  Poppy huffed, rolling her eyes.  “The person who is evil is the one who turned them all.  And he’s dead.”

“Righteousness has done just as much wrong, if not more, than those they claim are evil,” Lysander agreed, softly sad.

Zyn fought the urge to scoff at youthful philosophy.  It was fine.  It was a luxury they had which meant they’d been raised safely and well, she had to remind herself, which was exactly what she’d sacrificed so much for.  So that they didn’t end up like her.

The idea softened her momentary exasperation, warming it.

“Ah, I did such a good job raising you,” Zyn self-congratulated, ignoring the pair rolling their eyes at each other behind her.

“Mum had something to do with that, little mum.”

“Well, hells, I raised her, too!”

As they approached the gate, it became clear that the city was still very quiet, only the fungal folk wandering the broken streets.  Shit.  She’d meant to arrive well after nightfall, but it seemed they were still a bit early.  While they took a pause just outside at the shrine of Beshaba Zyn had built, they all did their perfunctory offerings, and then she bid them wait.

“We shouldn’t go in until your grandfather sends someone to fetch us,” Zyn said apologetically.  “Stay right here, I’ll go speak to the guards.”

While she dealt with communicating the fact that she needed Astarion to fetch them, Zyn watched the city streets.  She could see a few shadowy figures out now, which meant it was probably just past nightfall.  Yes, better not to parade the children through the streets in front of a bunch of barely-awake, hungry vampires– that was a recipe for disaster.  

After she got her point across and managed to extricate herself– communicating with myconids was simple for her as a bard, but also addictively enjoyable– Zyn returned to the twins to wait.  And wait.  And…wait.

She was starting to get genuinely annoyed by the time Astarion arrived, and had paced back to the gate to wait, crossing her arms over her chest.  Coming down the hill, disheveled and still in the process of fastening his belt, Astarion looked about as annoyed as she felt.  When he noticed her and frowned, she lifted her chin and stared him down.

“You know where I live!” he snapped at her as he approached.

“I do,” she agreed, lifting her hands as he bore down on her.  “Come here.  Your hair is a mess.”

“Yes, well, I was still in my dressing gown,” he fussed, but obediently leaned down so she could fix his hair for him.  “Why didn’t you just come u–”

“Hello, grandfather!”  Poppy called cheerfully, the twins crunching up to join them.

Astarion straightened abruptly, pulling out of her reach.  He tugged down the front of his embroidered jacket, staring at the approaching pair for a moment before turning an accusing gaze on her.  She gave a small shrug.  Astarion sighed, heavily.

“Don’t take it out on them,” she hissed.

“I know,” Astarion snapped back.  Much to her relief, his mask slipped into place.  “You must be Poppy and Lysander.  I apologize, I hadn’t been told you were coming!  Imagine that!”  The last two words snapped with pointed accusation.

“Can we not fight in front of them, either?”

He gave her a dour look, and then sighed and stepped past her to greet the children.  She kept her peace all the way to the half-ruined palace he had claimed, which amusingly she had realized from the designs of the stonework had once belonged to her mother’s family.  Not that she’d mentioned it.  In fact, Zyn didn’t think she’d ever brought up House Tzahane’s history here to him– it hadn’t seemed relevant.

Having grown up on the surface, she had about as much connection to this place as a pig did to a plate of ham.

Whatever they would make of this place would be their own.

At any rate, Poppy chattered the entire way, so that filled the silence quite nicely.  

As she’d been suspecting, their bright, noisy presence drew a lot of attention as they traveled the shattered streets, something Astarion also seemed extremely aware of.  The twins were relaxed, but they were both on high alert.  Naturally Lysander was drawn to mooning about every even slightly interesting feature, but Zyn kept her hand close and gave him a bit of a tug every time he started to wander or pause to peek in ruined courtyards or fallen buildings.  

He was a bit too much like his deceased mother at times– head forever in the clouds.

As they approached the House, she looked it over with a critical eye.  The towers were missing their old statuary and spires, but it looked like he’d managed to get one of the roofs repaired, finally.  The gardens that spread before the building were neat and tidy but mostly empty, nothing but dirt, rocks, and old paths, with just enough fungal and bulbfruit foliage to feed the pair of rothes stabled there, tied to the remnants of an old shattered obsidian statue of the Spider Queen.

“Well, this is grim,” Poppy remarked.

“Gardening is a bit low on my list of priorities right now,” Astarion replied, sounding fairly annoyed.  “But I agree.  Aesthetically displeasing.  A state of affairs I’ve had to grow accustomed to.  It’s irritating.”

“Why empty it out, then?”

“Half the plants here were aggressive.  They kept trying to kill people.  I much prefer plants I can use to kill other people.  I was unaware kelpies were such an issue here in the Underdark, we’ve had a full half-dozen run ins with the damned things.”

“I’ve never met a kelpie.  I’ve heard they’re very beautiful,” Lysander mused softly.

“You would die,” his sister retorted sharply.  “Please don’t go looking for them.”

“Drowning seems like a peaceful way to die.  Don’t you think?”

“No, love, it involves a lot of choking and thrashing and loosening of the bowels,”  Zynatheri said tolerantly, unphased.  “The right poison or a beheading will do you much better.”

“Beheading is classic,”  Astarion agreed.  “But what about you, dear?”

“I’m going to go out fighting.  I’ll spit blood in their eye as they run me through,”  Poppy said with delighted relish.  

“How vicious,” Astarion laughed.

She knew he was irritated they’d come, but Zynatheri was grateful to discover that he respected her requests to keep things like that private.  Whether it was because they were virtual strangers to him or not, it was still appreciated.  After Ilethra and Portia had gotten to meet him, she hadn’t seen real reason to refuse the twins that wouldn’t have been infantilizing on her part.  Just because they were the babies of the family didn’t make them children.

And she couldn’t say yes to Poppy and no to Lysander just because he had a more, mmh…passive personality.

But Hells, she was going to have to keep an eye on him.  If they weren’t careful, he’d wander into the middle of town in an open-fronted shirt, reading poetry and looking wistfully melancholic.  Then they’d have to explain to Lilithera how they’d gotten her youngest killed.

Or worse, they’d end up with a vampire-in-law.

Silly, lovely boy.

“Let’s try to stay at the House, loves, shall we?”  Zynatheri suggested as they wandered into the vaulted front hall, the massive funguswood doors she’d painstakingly magicked back to life cracked open enough for them all to file in.

“No exploring?”  Poppy asked, obviously disappointed.

“There’s plenty of exploring to do here,”  Astarion said, in tacit agreement with Zyn, which relieved her.  “I haven’t been in half the rooms of this place.  And on that note, we’re a bit low on furniture, so you may have to break out those bedrolls again.  I haven’t the supplies to be a good host.”

“I brought some furniture, and we’re fully provisioned,” Zyn assured him, and smiled at his questioning look.  “Lily found me a portable hole.  I thought it was high time I brought you some things to make this place a bit more livable, now that it’s survivable.”  And because she knew he’d be annoyed and she wanted to sweeten his temper so he didn’t take it out on the children.

Astarion shot her a look of wide-eyed gratitude that made her laugh.

“You suffer more than anyone has ever suffered before,” she teased him.

“Even a single rug sounds like bliss right about now.  The floors are always cold despite how warm it is here.”

“Little mum said you like to read, so I brought you books,” Lysander said, attention fixed somewhere among the buttresses.  He tripped slightly, staggered, and then straightened up with Poppy’s hand on his elbow, looming over all three of them.  “When you have time later, grandfather, Poppy and I were hoping we could speak with you.”

“My docket’s rather full for most of the night– at dinner later, perhaps?”

“Dinner?  Dinner’s already passed,”  Poppy said with a laugh.

“When you’re a visitor, you have to follow local customs.  We’ll follow his schedule.  You heard grandfather, he has a lot to do.”  Zyn turned her attention to him, raising an eyebrow.  “Should I put them in the room you gave me last time?”

“Thank you,” he said simply, already stepping away.  “I’ll leave you to it?”

As she’d much rather he processed their arrival away from the twins, Zynatheri left it at that and they parted ways.

It was always such a struggle to keep your damage from infecting those around you.  And Astarion?  He had a great many scars both literal and figurative.  Well, if he got too snippy with them, she could always threaten his life again.

There was always time for murder.

...

Astarion cradled his head in his hand, slumped deep into his chair.

“There is no need to waste energy on a farce of a court when immediate suppression is necessary to our survival,” Aurelia said firmly, with a hint of hurt and frustration in her voice.  “We lost another of our brethren today, and–”

Violet sighed in deep ennui, eyes rolling up and to the side as she splayed forward.  Resting her pale cheek on her palm, she stared at their tiefling sibling.  Her voice dripped with sing-song disdain. “Stop pretending to care.  You just want power.  You’re afraid giving Astarion judicial power means you can’t be Queen Aurelia.  Give it up. Nobody wants you to be in charge, you overbearing, weepy cow.”

“Why are we worrying about a few dead rothes when there’s runaway spawn out there, muddying our name everywhere we go?  We need to strike them down!  This is about our long-term survival!” Petras snapped, slamming his hands on the table.

Astarion sighed again, well aware Yousen and Dalyria were staring at him expectantly.  Of course when Petras said something, he was expected to respond.  “And what do you expect us to do in the short term, I wonder?” he asked, head rolling to the side as his hand dropped with an exasperated flourish.  “Do tell, brother.  Where does the money come from to fund your little hunting escapades?  Will we starve while you play?  Or are you just trying to get permission to go lurk in the nearest city?  Hmm?  Do a little clandestine hunting yourself?”

Predictable as always, Petras’ expression immediately stiffened.  Idiot.  Gods, at least he was still stupid; imagine if he’d actually become intelligent in the wake of freedom.

This all would be even more complicated.

They didn’t have the time for complicated right now, there were some corners that needed cutting.

“There’s no need to overthink it.  It’s only a judicial court, and we’re immortal!  We either execute people, flog them, or fine them within an inch of their lives.  What good will imprisonment do?”  Astarion declared, leaning back in his seat to scan across his siblings once more.

Dalyria gave him a look of disapproval, but he ignored it.

“He has a point,” Yousen said sardonically.

“We may not have time for building a code of laws just yet, but we cannot start executing people in the street!”  Dalyria protested, tearing her gaze away from Astarion.  “If people are afraid they will flee, and the damage already done will worsen.  What we need to do is focus on a cu–”

“Cure?  What, while we starve to death?  The idiots are killing our source of food.  They may as well die,” Petras said, giving Dal a look of frustration.  When she turned away from him, lifting her chin, he raised his voice sharply.  “Don’t ignore me because you don’t like my point!”

“Waaah,” Violet said snidely, rubbing her eyes with her fists.

“What an intelligent rebuttal.”

“Rebuttal?  What a long word.  Have you learnt to read at last, Petras?”

“Leon?”  Aurelia interrupted from the head of the table before things grew any more fraught.

“Do as you like,” their silent sibling said, staring at a polished black stone mural behind Aurelia’s head.  Leon’s voice was affectedly bored.  “What do they call those spider-drow, Astarion?”

“Driders,” he replied, cautious about the change in topic.  

“I found a skeleton of one below my House,” Leon said, voice musing.  “Within tunnels surrounding a whole…temple of Lolth.  Have we any knowledge regarding Lolth’s opinion on vampires?”

“Necromancy is common in Drow society,” Astarion temporized, trying to search his memory.  Did he know that?  Had he asked Zynatheri?  No, he didn’t think he had, beyond using their dead.  “Ritual sacrifice is her favorite activity, I doubt she draws the line at vampires.  Just try not to desecrate the temple?”

Being the opportunist he was, Yousen slithered into the conversation then.  “Lucky for us you’ve acquired a pet Drow, then.  You can ask it.”

“Jealousy is ugly, brother,” Astarion retorted dismissively, waving a hand.  Considering how she had chosen to arrive this time, he knew the information would have reached his siblings.  He also knew Yousen was ensuring that everyone else was certain to know.  Stirring the pot.  

Conniving little gnome.

“You should share food with the whole family.”

Fine.  He wanted to push?  Astarion was more than happy to push right back.  “Speaking of pets, brother dear, have you told Violet yet that you were the one who killed the kruthik hatchling she was keeping?”

Yousen went silent immediately, but the silence didn’t last long.

Within moments the table had descended into threats, verbal attacks, and accusations as two centuries of bile spilled over once more.  Normally Astarion would have been among them, goading, but being in control for the moment, he only felt a detached sense of amusement.  They were so easy to manipulate.

Granted, this wasn’t progress, but at least they weren’t irritating him any longer.

And wasn’t that what really mattered?

As the others attacked one another, Astarion and Leaon observed one another across the table in silence.  Their alliance was, and remained tenuous, but Astarion understood his youngest ‘brother’ more now than he had before.  What he had done– what he was still doing for his daughter– was completely comprehensible now in a way none of the others could understand.

It also, unfortunately, settled some of his rage and vitriol towards Zynatheri for never rescuing him.

Although he didn’t feel it, that urge to protect a child, he did at least understand it now.  It wasn’t fair that his grudge was being ruined with this new comprehension, but oh well.  She didn’t need to know he wasn’t angry any more.  

If she did, she might feel less guilty, and then she wouldn’t be so quick to placate him.

Eventually, when he made no attempt, Aurelia bullied and tearfully manipulated everyone back into line.  They made a few pressing decisions, though the greater one of ‘justice’ remained undecided apart from temporarily being shoved onto Astarion’s plate.  Dalyria was the odd one out, determined to give grace and understanding for some reason.  He assumed she wanted to pick a fight with Aurelia.

And Astarion also knew she was already experimenting on some of the spawn assigned to her House.  Another tidbit to keep in his back pocket.  One never knew when it might come in handy to toss out at a necessary moment– no matter how lenient he was towards the three of them, he was also more cautious around his sisters.

Yousen was wholly untrustworthy, Petras was stupid and petulant, and Leon, well…he was only here at all due to bribery and threats.

Things wound down a bit more tense than before, as they always did, and everyone parted ways to go back to secretly trying to manipulate one another.  Part of him had hoped being free would mean things would get better, but that seemed impossible unless they went their separate ways.  Their scars were all twisted together, making them parts of a whole in an unwholesome and unpleasantly familial fashion.  They had been forced to be family, but that was over, and somehow they still were.

Even Leon, though he denied it.

And right now, they needed each other.

He waited until they were all gone before leaving the table himself, knowing none of them would be stupid enough to go skulking through his House right now.  Later, when he wasn’t expecting it would be more likely.  He did note that Yousen hadn’t mentioned the children, which made him think that he hadn’t known they were Astarion’s mortal relations.

None of the children looked enough like Lilithera to be easily identifiable as his blood, thankfully.

Finally he rose to leave, ignoring the papers and reports.  Not now.  Now he wanted to relax, as being around family could be exhausting.

“Astarion.”

Hands clutched abruptly at his sleeve as he left the ancient dining room they’d been using as a meeting chamber.  Astarion paused with a start, exhausted mind already ready to snap until he looked into Violet’s worried eyes, her lips pulled down into a deep frown.  Annoyed, he still tempered his frustration.  Not listening to her would just send her into a fit.

“Yes, Vi?”

“Before the meeting over the judicial court, I overheard Petras telling Dalyria that Aurelia wanted them to vote against you.”

Astarion fought the urge to roll his eyes, well aware of the simple attempt at manipulation.  “While I appreciate you telling me, dear, you do know that for this to work, sometimes we will vote against each other?  Otherwise, what’s the point in making a council at all?  I would just name myself tyrant if that weren’t the case.”  As much as he hated to admit it.

“Yes, but they’re plotting.”

He tapped the end of her nose affectionately, and she clutched him closer, fingers creeping into the crook of his arm, possessive and spidery.  “Isn’t that what you’re doing right now?”

She smiled at him with an innocence that almost hid the wicked edge, ducking her chin, scarlet eyes averting.  “I thought you would want to know.  I’ve been working very hard on my House.  Will you come see it tonight?”

For a moment he nearly, habitually said yes, and then remembered the hapless relatives gamboling around in his House with fearless abandon.  Also, Zynatheri was waiting for him.  With a smile, he peeled her fingers from his arm, giving her hand a small pat as he released her.

“Tomorrow.  I have things to do, still.”

“You mean you’re going to spend time with your mortal.”  All affectation and smiles left her face; she didn’t even bother to look hurt or pained.  Just cold, and nasty.  “I don’t like her.”

“She is the only reason we’re safe down here,” he rejected her simply, taking her arm with a pointed air and all but dragging her to the exit.  The last person he wanted to be here right now was Violet.  

Once he ensured all of his siblings were gone, he turned away and headed deeper into the House, away from any errant spawn.

Every step echoed.

That echo was constant, a reminder of how empty this place was.  When Astarion had sent them to the Underdark and promised to follow, he’d been anticipating a crude camp, a constant struggle, carving a life out of dangerous caverns.  He’d even been considering leading them to Grymforge in the hopes of making it livable, but…

To have found this half-shattered, ancient Drow city was beyond all of his expectations, and it was Lilithera and Zynatheri who had made it possible.

But gods was it empty.

Then again, empty was better than how it had been when they’d moved in; stuffed full of monsters, traps, and other dangerous things.

He didn’t blame Zynatheri for preferring to be in his room– it was the only one decorated.  Again, thanks to her and her daughter.  He should dig something out of the artifacts they’d found to send back to Lily in thanks.  Something that wasn’t necromantic.  This time.

“Grandfather!”

The word still roused a twinge of unease, and not just because it made him feel old.  Because it made him feel dead.  It was the same reason he’d rejected Lilithera’s offer to find what remained of his mortal family– that all was so ancient and forgotten he would rather leave it that way.  For now.  But his own discomfort, well, it hardly mattered to the children.

And Zynatheri had made it rather clear she would murder him if he in any way upset them.

They bore down on him, golden-eyed, energetic Poppy and wistful, distracted Lysander.  A continuation of his life, like lively mushrooms sprouting from a dead log.  All of them made him feel the strangest sense of rejection and yearning, wanting what they were to him but not wanting to admit what he’d lost.  He did try to keep it from them, at least.

His relations were twisted enough without inflicting it on these bright, curiously innocent creatures his mortal life had made.

“Did you sleep well?”

“I’ve never been in a Drow Great House before!  Sometimes I forget that we’re quarter drow, it’s not like people see that.  They just call you a half-elf and be done with it,” Poppy chattered, beaming at him until her eyes crinkled like Lilithera’s.

“It’s beautiful and lonely,” Lysander opined, untidy hair falling back from his eyes as he gazed upwards. "The walls are full of ghosts, and the floors hold memories of blood."

Poppy grinned with a hint of feral excitement. “We were just going to go find little mum, to see if she wanted to go exploring! Maybe we'll find an ooze.”

Astarion knew by now that there was nothing she wanted less.  Lazy woman.  “Your grandmother is resting.  Under orders.  I would appreciate it if you two would head downstairs and survey the second level for me.  Take an inventory of what remains.  But if there’s danger more than a trap or a few undead, you have to promise to come fetch us at once.”

“We promise,” Poppy agreed earnestly, cheeks dimpling in an irrepressible smile.  

“Go on, then.  My rooms are just there,” he pointed down the left-hand hallway.  “You’ll be able to see the firelight.  You have…food and things?  Water?  Potions?”

“We are provisioned for the journey,”  Poppy said, curls bouncing as she nodded vigorously.

He was about to let them go, until a thought struck him, uncomfortable and worried.  No.  They weren’t truly safe here, were they?  Not even in his demesne.  It chilled him to think about what Violet would do if she had them in her hands.  “If you…see anyone at all.  Any strangers.  Please come right back.”

“Little mum told us not to trust anyone but you,” Lysander reassured him, those dreamy copper eyes suddenly, and surprisingly intent.  “We won’t succumb to the lure of darkness.”

“He means we won’t talk to strangers,”  Poppy said, with a hint of exasperation.  Grabbing her twin by his upper arm, she started dragging him off.  “Honestly!  They act like we aren’t grown,” she complained as she pulled him towards the grand staircase in the main hall.

“They have seen centuries; us, mere decades.”

“That doesn’t mean they have to be so overbearing about it,” Poppy complained.

“I’m still standing right here!”

Poppy glanced over her shoulder, pulling down the skin under her eye with her free hand, making a horrible face.

Reflexively he made a face back at her, and her expression shifted into an impish smile.  

Bemused, he watched them disappear into the darkness.

Once their footsteps died away, a thin silvery thread of sound drew his attention.  A soft, ethereal voice, languidly singing a wordless song.  A siren in the shadows.  It was the barest beckon, only audible due to echoes and the slight crack of the bedroom door that spilled gilded light into the massive ebon corridor.  

A lone figure, dwarfed by the empty and lonesome architecture, he followed that lure.

The austere, icy darkness of the reflective walls and ominous vaulted space faded away as he pushed open the door, the gilded firelight spilling over him.  It was warmer within, a spiral of steam rising from the newly-hidden bathtub in the corner.  The wood and silk folding screen Lilithera had bought him was in front of it, partially blocking it from view.

What had once been a room empty of everything but an icy stone bed frame and an empty basin was now a living space, hangings on the walls, rugs on the floor.  Books and furnishings and a sturdy desk covered in papers, curios.  A painting of his family on the mantle.  Signs of life and living, tucked into a space that was his.

And before the fire, lounging on the daybed with her nearly-dry alabaster hair cascading over the arm and down to the floor, was the curious creature who had barged her way into his life and gleefully disordered it.  A glowing golden glass of brandy was sitting on the floor just under her dangling fingertips, her moonstone eyes vague and distant.  Zynatheri was singing to herself, drowsy and soft, blue cheek pillowed attractively on a bright golden pillow, her knees curled up under his burgundy dressing gown.  The curve of one soft calf peeked out, her foot pointed off the cushion in a graceful, sinuous line.

Astarion was struck, in the oddest fashion, by a desire to let her do nothing but lounge and sing like a contented songbird for the rest of her life.  Avarice wanted her caged, unable to leave so that he could always have this curiously warm sensation, but humanity– if that’s what you wanted to call it– wanted her here like this.  A sweetly nested bird with no desire to fly away.

It suited her.

“Are you drunk, little fox?” he asked, amusement spilling over the words.

She startled, knees curling up to her chest, hands clutching the front of his dressing gown closed– as if he hadn’t seen the unbound, ripe curves of her bared chest already.  Accusing moonstone eyes turned on him.  “You bid me relax, brought me brandy, and I have drunk.  I cannot un-drink, or un-drunk.”

“But you can draw me a bath, it seems.”

“I heard you talking to the twins and heated it up, so it’s still warm.”

“Thank you.”

Pushing off the doorframe, he pulled the door closed behind him, knowing there would be a sliver of light in the hallway.  Feeling a sudden buoyancy in his mood, he paused while passing by the daybed, leaning over the curving back.  She peered up at him, nose wrinkling irritably as he swiped a finger down her cheek, the skin velvety and warm under his fingertip.

Mockingly, he rubbed his fingers together, inspecting them.  “Hmmh.”

“I washed,” she said, tartly.

“So you did,” he agreed, smirking to himself.

“There’s a wooden box of bath essences on the table,” she murmured, eyes slitting closed like a contented cat when his hand briefly rested on her head in passing.

The reaction was so soft, so natural, that his mind couldn’t help but dwell on what a more affectionate caress might do.  He might as well admit it.  Astarion was fascinated by the little minx.  Attracted to her.  He might be a little more uneasy about that if her two centuries of devotion felt in any way attached to some adoration or sexual desire, but they didn’t.

She’d looked for him for their daughter, not out of love or infatuation.  He knew what those looked like.  In her eyes he saw neither, just a friendly affection that had been slowly growing with each meeting, much like his for her.  But even her disheveled state of sexually charming disarray right now was just relaxation and her feeling comfortable, not any active attempt at seduction.

She was simply a seductive person.

Why was she still here?

Was it really just for the children?

His thumb caught the catch on the richly-scented wooden box settled on a small side table carved with sinuously twisted designs– a decorative table.  Such a small, pointless luxury, but one he had now.  The box was filled with small glass bottles, and he smelled them each until one struck him.  Earthy, woody, relaxed and warm.  

Not a scent made to hide anything, just to be enjoyed.

He plucked the oil out of the box, and headed for the heated water.  “What do you expect me to wear?”

“I’ll go dress,” she muttered drowsily.

“If the dressing gown is damp I don’t want it.”

He heard a huff, but no verbal response.

The vial poured into the water filled the air with an inviting, rich scent, beckoning him to relax.  After today, it wasn’t a lure he could resist.  Shrugging his clothing to the floor, he stepped into the deep tub, pleased to find the water scalded his skin, warm to the point of discomfort.  Perfect.

Astarion closed his eyes and sighed as he sank into it.

Seconds flowed by, languid, as he let the heat sink into his bones.  It felt good.  Rejuvenating.  The room would normally be empty, but he could hear the small sounds of someone else moving around in his space, filling it with a strange warmth.  Her footsteps, breaths, the soft hum.

“Sing me a song, little nightingale,” he murmured, lungs filled with heady steam.

Instantly, but distantly, she lifted her voice in song, a softly lilting little folk tune that was as gentle as it was morbid. Like so many folk songs.  Her sweet voice sank into him, relaxing muscles he hadn’t even known were tense.  

After so many nights alone in the darkness, working, having her here was a balm to wounds he hadn’t even known were causing him pain.

Her voice wandered closer as she completed the song, some little tune about a woman dying on her wedding day.  She tossed his dressing gown over the top of the curtain, followed by a loose pair of pants.  Nothing else.  He gave a rather pointed ‘ahem’.

“What?”

“Generally undergarments are worn under trousers.”

“Get your own underwear,” she scoffed, making him laugh.  Her voice softened minutely.  “Don’t worry about your dirty things, Lysander needs to practice his cantrips, I’ll have him clean them.”

“I was under the impression that he was learning wizardry, not bardic arts.”  Astarion scooped up the sponge, finally feeling relaxed enough to bother with scrubbing.

“Lily tried, but he just doesn’t have the mind for it.  Not stupidity, just focus.  He doesn’t like it, so his mind wanders– music is easier for him.”

“Too much of a dreamer.”

“Hmmh,” she agreed softly.  “We should let him dream.”

“I suppose it is a luxury we can afford him,” Astarion said, trying to ignore the weight of that statement and the bitterness it brought up.  “So what do you think of the twins’ grand plan to reconnect people with their families?”

Zynatheri sighed, the sound trailing off into silence.  Nothing but the crackle of the fireplace and soft sloshing of the water filled the air, until she finally blew out a breath between her lips.  “I think it has a lot of potential to do good, but also a lot of potential to summon an army of Lathander’s followers intent on wiping you all out.  I still think isolation and discreet alliances are your wisest courses until you are stronger.  I think that they are…thinking the best of people.  I think that they are thinking ‘our grandfather is a vampire, and we don’t care.  Why would anyone else?’”

She was absolutely correct.  There was no way they could survive a crusade, and any followers of Lathander would slay them on principle.  They were vulnerable, and would be for some years as they started slowly creeping past survival into thriving and growing.  And they needed those years.  Their weakness was a lack that only time and hard work could cure.

No skills, no martial talents, no magic even beyond Leon’s.

Which was why Astarion didn’t feel the least bit badly about blackmailing him into staying.

“I’ll speak to them.  Perhaps you and I could think of another outlet for their…youthful enthusiasm.”

“Do you even have the mental fortitude for more problem-solving?” she teased.

He gave an exhausted sigh that made her laugh, slumping back in the bathtub until his head rested on its edge.  Astarion closed his eyes.  It was a valid question, and the answer was no– but they both knew that.

“I’d like to help, but my knowledge is more broad than deep– I don’t know a lot about logistics.  But if it would help, I’d be happy to make a donation.  The twins will want to stay for a while, so I’ll have time to recover.”

Was she–

Shock spurred his tongue, water sloshing dangerously as he sat up straight.  “Are you offering me blood?”

“It’s the easiest way to help you, isn’t it?  I do like things that are easy.”

“I’ve never had someone offer it to me before.”  At least not out of altruism.  Thinking of that alchemist from Moonrise just made him disgusted, however, so he moved on quickly from thinking about that.  And in his current situation… “I’d be a fool to say no.”

“Should we wait until I’m sober?”

As much as he wanted it now, in a desperately hungry way– that uplifting warmth that washed away the eternal fog, that invigorating breath of life… “We should wait until dusk.  It’s nearly morning.  I’d hate to waste even a drop.”

“It’s funny how you can tell,” she said, and cracked a soft yawn.  “In the morn– er, dusk, then.”

The water was starting to cool, and with it his desire to be in it any longer.  It was a shame, though.  When she wasn’t here, the best he could do would be a cauldron heated over the fire, which wasn’t enough to lounge in, just enough to get clean.  But what real impetus could he give her to stay?  How could he make her stay and take care of him the way he wanted, the way she owed him for the two hundred years she’d done nothing.

It wasn’t at all true, but it felt true– which was enough for him.

It didn’t matter what he thought, as long as he didn’t say it.

Regardless, Zynatheri wasn’t in love with him, he couldn’t provide for her or offer her comfort that she wasn’t the one giving to him.  Asking her to stay would be asking her to struggle.  And for what?  So he could enjoy her company and the comforts that came with it?

Well…why not?

It wasn’t as if there would be any harm in asking, right?

If she wasn’t willing to stay and indulge him, then she’d simply say no and that would be the end of it.  She wouldn’t hold a grudge.  Right?  Of course that was right, why was he even second-guessing it?

When he finished dressing, she'd pulled herself up to sit on the daybed, leaving space for him. She'd thrown on her loose linen traveling shirt and trousers, bare feet tucked under her, head resting on her arm. He didn't ever think he'd seen her with a fully upright posture.

Always lounging like a cat.

The temptation was near-impossible to resist, and by now he knew she'd allow it.

Astarion was proven correct when dropping onto the seat next to her and slumping to the side only had her shifting her posture, legs dropping to the floor, back settling into the embrace of the fainting couch's arm. Willingly, he let her shift him from her shoulder to her lap, head falling onto the soft pillow of her thighs.

Gods, the damnable woman was comfortable.

“You’re so tired,” she said fretfully, running her fingers slowly through his damp hair as he adjusted himself.  “You need to relax more.”

“Two centuries of…spite, rivalry, competition, and puppeteering by our M– by Cazador has made it difficult between the seven of us.  They listen to me, of course, but the constant bickering…ugh. Exhausting.”

“Do I make things more difficult for you, because I keep coming by?  Would you prefer that I stay a–”  She stalled as he cracked open an eye and placed a single finger on her lips.  Bemused, she pursed them.

“Yes, I would,” he said.

“Then I’ll go,” she said, posture stiffening, an amusingly annoyed expression on her face.

“What are you talking about?”  Despite knowing exactly why he’d irritated her, Astarion pulled a confused expression.   A little game. Except...much to his surprise, he was the only one playing it.

Usually she was quick, but he’d forgotten– Zynatheri was drunk.

While her face went through a long journey of utter bemusement, he watched from his very comfortable position, highly amused watching her alcohol-sodden brain trying to function.  When she turned a glare down on him, he smirked.  The silly creature pouted.

“You’re taking advantage of my muddled head,” she whined, flicking his forehead.  

He swatted her away, knuckles smacking into the back of her hand, stinging.

“Owwwwh,” she whined pathetically.  “What are you doing?  You told me to go away, so I’m going away.”

“You didn’t say go away,” he replied, discreetly shaking his own hand.

“Yes, I did, I asked if you wanted me to go away and you said yes.”

“No, you asked if I wanted you to stay…” he finished by placing a finger on her lips again.

Her pretty moonstone eyes went rounder than usual, lips pursing under his finger out of shock and not affection.  Still amusing.  Cheeks flushing an unfairly charming shade of purple, she stared down at him.  His smirk grew into a wide, amused smile of delight.

Was she actually–

“You’re blushing!”

“No!  I don’t blush!” she protested, reaching up and clutching her cheeks.  “I’m flushed from drinking!”

“I’ve been lying here wondering if somehow all my charms have gone stale,” he teased her, laughing when she gave a faint ‘hmph’ and turned her face away, nose in the air.  He let his expression turn cajoling, amused by her pouty little act.  He saw the little peeks she gave him, wanting to know his reaction.  Softening his voice, he tried to lure her out with a low croon.  “Come now, little fox. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

She shot him a scornful, aloof look, her big silver eyes turning distant.  “Are we?  Well, friends shouldn’t be indebted to each other, should they?  I’ve been raising your non-vampiric spawn for two hundred years, that adds up!”

Offended, but too comfortable to move, he folded his arms over his chest, steepling his index fingers together.  “Really?  You’re extorting me?  I wonder what Lilithera would say if I told her that you said that.”

Immediately she puffed her cheeks, looking mortally, but hilariously offended.  Any attempts at dignity flew right out the window.  “Don’t you dare!  You bully!”

“I’m the bully?!  You just threatened me!”

“You were teasing me,” she replied, a little whine to her voice.

What a frustratingly, infuriatingly adorable creature she was.

“You’re impossible to be angry at.  It’s annoying,” he informed her, amused by her smile of triumph.  And then she went back to stroking his hair, which soothed away any thoughts of continuing the play-fighting.  His eyes closed, the rhythmic, affectionate touch soothing and gentle.  

His words gained no response, but he had no desire to break the peaceful, calm silence.  The fire crackled, her touch wound through his hair, strands curling around her fingers, tugging lightly when she freed herself.  It was hypnotic.

She smelled like brandy and night-blooming flowers, a rich, sultry perfume, and her lap was warm and soft as he lounged bonelessly against her.  Her embrace was possibly just a little better than the bath.  And all of this with the oddest lack of seduction or sexual intent– just intoxicatingly guileless affection.  It made him think of Lilithera’s words, about how she would ‘never make the first move’.  If she hadn’t by now…

Zynatheri’s velvety voice was soft.  “Did you mean that?”

He knew instantly what she was referring to; a shared thought.  “I don’t have anything to give you.”

“Hmm?”

“There’s no reason for you to stay even if I had meant it.”

Zynatheri gave another of those soft ‘hmm’s, voice a low murmur of sound.  “Do you think the pleasure of your company isn’t a reason?”

“Well, naturally, dear, but usually the company is a means to an end, not the end goal,” he said flippantly, not liking the direction of the conversation.

“Not for me,” Zynatheri replied, voice slow and casual.  “I’m a very simple creature at heart, Astarion.  I do what I enjoy.  I enjoy your company.”

 He couldn’t keep the frustration from his voice any longer, the odd uncomfortable anger he’d been feeling all evening when all he wanted was to relax.  His voice sharpened, body restless.  “There’s nothing down here, don’t you understand that?  No fine food, wine, society, no safe audience for your pretty songs but me.  It’s dark, cold, and empty.  Dangerous.  Every luxury I could possibly give you is something you’ve given to me.”

The comfort was unwanted now, meaningless in the face of his internal strife.  Astarion rose to his feet abruptly, pacing across the floor with frustration in every stride. He glanced at her, but it only made him feel badly, the rejected hand still in the air, her patient stare.  Why was she doing this?  Why did she keep wandering into his life only to leave?

It drove him absolutely mad.

Her voice was frustratingly calm.  “I feel like even if I said those don’t matter, you’d still feel otherwise.  Why is that?”

All of the frustration and annoyance he hadn't felt towards his siblings seemed to have turned on her, rising with the tone of his voice as Astarion whipped around to stare down at her.  “Because my mind keeps telling me all I would have to do is seduce you to keep you by my side, and I don’t want to do that any longer!  But without that…what?  What? What do I have to give you?!”

She watched him from the daybed still, cheek lowering to pillow on her arm, silver eyes turned up towards him.  There was the faintest hint of a smile on her face.  Infuriating wretch.

“What are you smirking at?!”

“Have you forgotten how to court someone without sex?” she asked, voice teasing him.

It was so unexpected that his anger lost its momentum immediately.  She– “Court– who said anything about courtship?”

“Isn’t that what you’re asking?  You want me to stay.  You want me to sing for you and coddle and spoil and flatter you– take care of you.  So…figure out how to make me want to stay, then.  And no, I don’t want to sleep with you either.  To make me be a part of degrading you in a way you’re finally free of just as an attempt to placate me…I’d never forgive myself.”

“Just– ugh.  Just because it isn’t about sex doesn’t mean it’s romantic.”

“No, it doesn’t have to be romantic…but it is,” she replied, fingers splaying against her cheek.  “I’m not going to pretend it’s not.  You’ve shown me what you have to offer me, told me why it’s not good enough, but I disagree.  I like what we have for what it is.”

“Yes, but that won’t get you to stay,” he insisted awkwardly.

“It might.”

Finally he had to avert his gaze, unease overtaking anger.  His emotions were confusing, shame and discomfort and disbelief that she was saying it at all.  But she was.  “You mean that, don’t you.”

“Just think about it.”  

He shouldn’t resent something as simple as her standing up, but he did.  Astarion knew she was leaving.  The last thing he’d wanted was to stew in his own mind like this, but it seemed his mind didn’t care.

“I’m going to go find the twins,” she said, confirming it.  “I think if you contacted our daughter, she’d be more than happy to help you.  But if you need somewhere to start…”  She grimaced, heaving her hair forward over her shoulder.  “You could learn to braid.  Rest well.  I’ll see you first thing in the evening, hmm?”

“I can’t help but feel as if I’m being punished for being honest,” he admitted, despite knowing it wasn’t true.

“I can see why it might feel that way.  But we’ve been dancing around in this gray area for a while, so it’s probably time to figure things out.  You were right to say something.”

“You’ve done a wonderful job of putting this all on my shoulders,” he pointed out, wishing she’d give him some damned indication of how she felt about it all.

She glanced over her shoulder and stuck her tongue out at him, and then smiled impishly.  “How much have I been doing for you lately?  Tsk.  The nerve of you.” 

“Well, how do I know you’re not this sweet to everyone?”  He gave her an aggrieved pout, crossing his arms.  “Maybe I’m not special.”

“You are.”

“And how many beautiful former lovers have you said that to over the years, I wonder.”

She smiled faintly.  “Ask Lilithera.  Sweet dreams.”

Well, it seemed she was determined to go.  As much as he wanted to shout at her, leaving things on a bad note would make their next meeting unpleasant instead of restful.  Right now, those crumbs of rest were all that was keeping him sane. 

And he wasn't going to lie and claim he didn't desperately want the blood she was offering.

“Sweet dreams, little nightingale.”

Zynatheri’s good mood was unabated, glancing over her shoulder with a wink at him on her way to the door.  “You sound so sulky,” she teased.

“Begone,” he ordered her irritably, throwing himself down on the daybed she’d abandoned.

Despite the fact that this room was no longer empty, her laughter still echoed long after she’d left.

[piracytheorist]

Ranking SxF season 2 episodes!

So, some time ago I made a ranking of the season 1 episodes of Spy x Family, from my least favourite to my top favourite. I felt inspired a couple days ago and I thought I'd make a similar ranking of the season 2 episodes.

Mentioning again that: This is all my personal judgment heavily based on stuff I liked. You most certainly will disagree with me and that’s fine! Just don’t argue with me because that’s just personal opinions, I’m not trying to change anyone’s minds or prove anything!

And also: I chose to rank each episode by five criteria, the things I love the most about the show: 1) Humor (intentional or not), 2) Character (defining or cool moments and such) 3) Cute 4) Plot (how much development there is and how well the action is delivered) 5) Feels (of any kind).

#12, Least favourite of the season: 29. The Pastry of Knowledge/ The Informant's Great Romance Plan II

Humor: 6/10 Character: 6/10 Cute: 7/10 Plot: 6/10 Feels: 5/10

I think this is the only episode that got points removed for something I didn't like. I made some very passionate posts about it when it first aired, particularly due to how after watching it I realized I'd been treated very unfairly by some fellow fans, and thus I'm almost incapable of rewatching the first half. Yes this is about Damian bullying Anya, no I won't shut up about it.

Anyway. This is still quite a high ranking (it's higher than the three lowest from my s1 ranking), cause the humor and the cats of the second part were quite entertaining on their own. It got a few points for plot because it introduced the stakes of Anya getting low grades, and also because of the discussion between Franky and Twilight about Garden.

#11: 36. Berlint in Love / Nightfall's Daily Life

Humor: 9/10 Character: 6/10 Cute: 6/10 Plot: 5/10 Feels: 7/10

A very high humor score because I honestly doubt a single minute passed without me laughing my ass off in this one. It was so ridiculous and they loved making it so. Though having two wholly different parts, they were both fun in how they were around two characters blinded by their affection for Loid to the point they have no idea how hopeless their goals are. I just love how exaggerated it all is.

Some feels points were added for Yor talking about remembering what Loid had told her during the bench scene, and also because we get Loid being a stupid simp for his strong wife.

#10: 31. The Fearsome Luxury Cruise Ship

Humor: 7/10 Character: 8/10 Cute: 6/10 Plot: 8/10 Feels: 6/10

Reminder that this is still a high ranking. I'm just being strict in the ratings because the entire season is so good, the bar is really high!

Anyway, though I like this episode, it feels more like a passing point from the previous one to the next, compared to those specific episodes, so that's probably why it's this low. I love how the assassins plot is kicked off and we get to see some action, and character points were added for McMahon's ruthless killing of the stalker assassin.

#9: 28. Mission and Family / The Elegant Bondman / Extras

Humor: 6,5/10 Character: 9/10 Cute: 6/10 Plot: 9/10 Feels: 7/10

This is the first time I felt the need to use decimals, lol. I just feel that this episode is one of the darkest and most serious of the season, but also... Bondman's part was ridiculous (affectionate) and the omakes were great by themselves, so I felt that a mere six wouldn't do.

I'm honestly entranced by the first part. The plot and exploration of Yuri's and Perkin's characters were near damn perfect, I only wish there was a bit more beyond that episode, haha. I understand the focus needed to be in the Cruise Arc, so I feel a nine will do for this one. The feels were honestly added because I was a bit touched by Perkin's motives, and how those touched Yuri too.

#8: 30. Plan to Cross the Border

Humor: 8/10 Character: 9/10 Cute: 7/10 Plot: 7/10 Feels: 7/10

The Shopkeeper's introduction was amazing, albeit terrifying. Olka's was a little more subdued, but it was more touching. I felt both also reflected on something about Yor, so it was overall very satisfying. Due to so many introductions, plot was light (not that I minded), but Anya's scheming put up points in humor and cute. Feels points were added for Olka wanting to escape the crime underworld, and how that affected Yor.

#7: 32. Who Is This Mission For?

Humor: 8/10 Character: 8/10 Cute: 8/10 Plot: 6/10 Feels: 8/10

I'd spent the entire week before this episode aired wondering how Yor would manage fighting Barnaby, and even though I should be used to the story's wackiness by now, it still managed to surprise me and make me laugh. Also Loid will never outlive his ridiculous tourist getup. Anya was an adorable little gremlin who couldn't stop having fun, so cute points went up, and Loid managed to spend one (1) episode without going "For the mission!" once, so character and feels points went up as well.

#6: 26. Follow Papa and Mama

Humor: 9/10 Character: 7/10 Cute: 8/10 Plot: 6/10 Feels: 8/10

To be honest, I think I'm a bit strict with this one. I don't know how this story manages to make miscommunication so funny for me, but it was legitimately hilarious. The thing is, this was the only episode of the season whose manga chapter I'd already read, long ago too, and maybe my expectations for its adaptation were unrealistically high - probably also due to it being the season premiere and I'd spent ten months without my show, so I'm probably biased. Mind you, I still loved it, but this further cements my will to stay anime only.

Anyway! Character points went a bit down because I didn't feel we saw anything new, but the cute and feels persisted because of Anya's machinations and because of Yor admitting how good she felt with Loid dedicating time for her that day.

#5: 34. The Hand That Connects to the Future

Humor: 8/10 Character: 7/10 Cute: 8/10 Plot: 8/10 Feels: 8/10

A lovely, hopeful closure for Olka and the rest, Yor getting the acknowledgement she deserves, a spectacular ending of the assassins fight, high stakes with the bomb threats, and an emotional ending scene with Twilight carrying Anya to bed and then the family getting ready to meet in the resort island. Not much else to be said <3

#4: 35. Enjoy the Resort to the Fullest / Bragging About Vacation

Humor: 9/10 Character: 7/10 Cute: 9/10 Plot: 6/10 Feels: 9/10

No, I'm definitely not biased because this episode shows us the first glimpse of Twilight yearning for Yor what are you talking about.

Who am I kidding, I definitely added feels points just for that look he gave her while she watched Anya play with the sheep. The whole episode felt so relaxing and fulfilling after the intense assassins plot, especially the scene of the Forgers having tea upon returning home, that I don't mind that the second part at school feels a little exaggerated. The ending scene with Anya being surrounded by liars though is top notch.

#3: 27. Bond's Strategy to Stay Alive / Damian's Field Research Trip

Humor: 9/10 Character: 8/10 Cute: 8/10 Plot: 7/10 Feels: 9/10

Endo used Dog Cuteness! It's super effective!

Yeah, the whole adventure and the way it was presented were appropriately hilarious and we saw some more of the dynamics between Bond and the rest and I really liked that. Plot wasn't heavy but I was all wide eyes at the introduction of a truth serum, and at the second part when Mr. Green talked about people defecting to the West. Feels went up thanks to, among others, Twilight thinking he was helping Bond get his "revenge". Also, though the second part didn't do much for me, it actually felt nice to see Damian laugh innocently like the kid he really is.

#2: 37. Part of the Family

Humor: 8/10 Character: 8/10 Cute: 9/10 Plot: 8/10 Feels: 9/10

Despite the mopping wet of a dog we got here, I kinda felt this was less... humorous, or at least not focusing so much on the humor aspect. I felt it was more cute and emotional that Bond was just trying to help left and right but was only misunderstood by Twilight. The action takes the place of a plot here, and I loved it all. Some development too through Twilight realizing he can relax a bit with Bond, even though he's still in denialTM about how much he appreciates his company.

#1: 33. The Symphony Upon the Ship / Sis's Herb Tea

Humor: 8/10 Character: 10/10 Cute: 7/10 Plot: 9/10 Feels: 10/10

Yeah OH MY GOD are we surprised. Top tier shit. Excellent balance of pretty much everything in this one. The humor even in the way Yor took out some of the assassins. Her flashbacks with Yuri. The ACTION and the ANIMATION of it all. HER REALIZATION AND DETERMINATION POWERING HER THROUGH. HER LOVE FOR HER FAMILY.

Yeah wow it's really so good any eloquence evades me. Perfect. Mwah. Thank you Endo-sensei.

~

And here is the overall ranking of the episodes, from both seasons, based on the ratings I gave:

1. Operation Strix

    2. Secure A Wife

    33. The Symphony Upon The Ship / Sis's Herb Tea

    24. The Role Of A Mother And Wife / Shopping With Friends

    38. Part Of The Family

    16. Yor's Kitchen / The Informant's Great Romance Plan

    27. Bond's Strategy To Stay Alive / Damian's Field Research Trip

    14. Disarm The Time Bomb

    12. Penguin Park

   11. Stella

   21. Nightfall / First Fit Of Jealousy

   35. Enjoy The Resort To The Fullest / Bragging About Vacation

   15. A New Family Member

   9. Show Off How In Love You Are

   5. Will They Pass Or Fail?

   34. The Hand That Connects To The Future

   3. Prepare For The Interview

   26. Follow Papa And Mama

   32. Who Is This Mission For?

   13. Project Apple

   4. The Prestigious School's Interview

  30. Plan To Cross The Border

   28. Mission And Family / The Elegant Bondman / Extras

   8. The Counter-Secret Police Cover Operation

   6. The Friendship Scheme

   31. The Fearsome Luxury Cruise Ship

   25. First Contact

  23. The Unwavering Path

   18. Uncle The Private Tutor / Daybreak

   6. The Target's Second Son

   36. Berlint In Love / Nightfall's Daily Life

   20. Investigate The General Hospital / Decipher The Perplexing Code

   19. A Revenge Plot Against Desmond / Mama Becomes The Wind

  29. The Pastry Of Knowledge / The Informant's Great Romance Plan Ii

  17. Carry Out The Griffin Plan / Fullmetal Lady / Omelet Rice ♡

  22. The Underground Tennis Tournament: The Campbelldon

  10. The Great Dodgeball Plan