#anyway i had a lot of fun dawing these

[flammelikeshookdust]

Hookdust Princess Bride AU 😤

[j-rye]

oversteeping horse edition

[toskarin]

how did you get started making music, tools-wise?

I've talked about this a bit before and I don't necessarily recommend doing this, so skip the following two paragraphs and go right to the one under the break if you actually want the method I recommend

I lied to a girl I liked from my school and told her that, because I could play guitar I could also play piano, so I could teach her to play piano. both of these statements were lies.

I had to panic and learn both guitar and piano one week ahead of the lessons I was giving her as an excuse to hang out. so I self-taught in a haze of panic and "maybe she'll like me" (she did not) (but she kind of did) (but she was bicurious) (but she was wishy-washy on if she wanted to get together and her parents didn't like me) (and her parents were homophobic) (I think she might have texted me at one point years down the line to tell me she had a girlfriend but it was after I deleted our text history and I'm chronically unable to remember to put people's names into my contacts so who knows)

but that's all an aside. that's a bad method.

anyway if you want to start making music in earnest, doing what I did when I got serious about making songs instead of trying to impress girls whose parents wanted to destroy me with their minds here's a better answer

go acquire FL Studio. it's apparently really easy to do this because people have been acquiring it for years, or so I've heard. FL is good for learning because you've got 20 years worth of free tutorials available to you on youtube to dig through and plenty of stock vsts to play with out of the box

FL Studio is, realistically, the only tool you actually need to start making music. you could get away with less, but it's what I used, and as long as you don't pick up Specific Bad Habits, your experience with it will transfer to other DAWs if you decide to switch it later

that's all, really

if you go this route, the golden rule I'm going to impart on you right now is that you need to have a limiter on your songs. the default FL studio song templates have one, so you should keep it until you know enough to know why you might adjust something like that

it doesn't matter if it sounds fine in the editor without a limiter. everyone thinks it's not a big deal at the time, but as you get more experienced, there's literally nothing short of getting in legal trouble that you'll regret more than realising that your old work is almost entirely unsalvageable because you didn't put a limiter on it and now half of the audio is just lost data to clipping

I'm gonna put a few more recommendations for things I've used, just so you can consider them if you need something else to chew on. everything past this point is entirely optional and you'll do just fine with FL Studio alone. in fact, probably don't worry about everything below the line

-=-

items marked with [F] are free.

DIGITAL AUDIO WORKSTATIONS THAT AREN'T FL

for tracker-based editing and chiptunes, use Renoise. you'll either love or hate trackers, and while they have a steeper learning curve than piano roll DAWs, they might come more naturally to you. I personally think that Renoise is a lot of fun to use. it kinda has an "addictive" quality to it, as funny as that is to say

for quickly sketching songs, use [F]Jummbox. it's an html workstation (multiplatform!) that writes your sketches to a url, meaning it's pretty easy to collaborate on musical sketches. Jummbox is good for making chiptune style instrumentals, but what makes it especially accessible is the fact that it works on a piano roll system, which will be familiar to you if you're working in FL

for writing sheet music, I recommend starting with [F]Musescore. I'll warn you right now that there aren't really any good notation editors and you're making lesser-of-evils decisions when you pick any of them, but it's probably the best compromise out there right now. it's the one I use when I need to hand something to a physical musician. you can also export pieces as midi, although there's better ways to do that lol

-

VSTs

if you can acquire Pianoteq, do that. if you feel uncomfortable with acquiring it, [F]Keyzone Classic is free and can sound pretty nice with a bit of work, but you really have to learn to work with it

if your workstation can handle it performance-wise, go pick up [F]Vital - Spectral Warping Wavetable Synth. there's tons of free presets for this out there and it sounds good. cool synth. Serum: Advanced Wavetable Synthesizer is also good and has plenty of presets, but it's on the pricy side, so consider how comfortable you are with [finding a friend to buy it for you]

[F]Decent Sampler doesn't do much out of the box, because it's just a tool for playing sample banks, but if you go to [F]Pianobook, you can find tons of weird and fun sample packs of just about everything you can imagine. sounds derived from folk instruments, industrial equipment, lego sets, stylophones, choirs, whatever. incredibly useful.

Valhalla VintageVerb. this is the reverb plugin. you want this one. [F]Valhalla Super Massive is also good but it's more focused on alien-sounding reverb effects and enormous spaces, so it's kind of got a niche use case and you should be a little careful with it

if you've heard a lo-fi hip hop song on youtube, it probably used [F]iZotope Vinyl. this one can save you a lot of time if you're going for that sound because it comes with all the little vinyl flourishes outside of compression (like dust crackling) that you'd otherwise have to add yourself

[F]Genny VST is advertised as giving a genesis/megadrive sound, but what actually makes it shine is that it's an actual synth emulating the YM2612 and SN76489 sound chips. this means you can create your own sounds that work within those specs, which is a lot of fun! definitely beats just using samples, if you ask me

-

HARSH VSTS THAT I PERSONALLY LIKE BUT WHICH ALSO MIGHT !!HURT!! YOU. SO BE VERY CAREFUL USING THESE.

[F]Tritik Krush is a bitcrushing plugin. it does a good job of bitcrushing and downsampling. I use it a lot in my songs, but you've really gotta know how to keep this one under control, because it's fully capable of making painful sounds on accident and can completely devour your mix

[F]FSA Latcher is a gorgeous noisebox. it screams in horrible ways and makes dying machine noises in various colours. this is the musical equivalent of working with radioactive material, so be extremely careful using this in anything you don't want to hurt the listener's ears

girlfriend just told me I have to recommend [F]Noise Engineering Ruina to you if I'm making a category with this heading. I don't personally use it, but she likes it (she's better at music than I am) and it's free, so you should go pick it up. "it annihilates sounds very deliciously" (maybe I should use it)

-

hope that helps a bit!

[bumblebeesfromvenus]

BATtrayal

Bale!Bruce Wayne x fem!reader

A/N: The lack of Bale!Bruce is criminal, so I'm here to provide!! And of course I had to write something extremely heart-wrenching, because fun, am I right? 🥲 I will (hopefully) have some happier Bale!Bruce for you in the future! Enjoy :)

~ Fi 🪻

Warnings: very angsty, but like heart break angsty not death angsty

Word count: 1.7k

Please don't copy my work! I put a lot of effort and heart into the things I write.

🦇~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🦇

🦇~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🦇

It was a gloomy morning in Gotham. Not that there were sunny ones. Ever. It had been a particularly rough night for you, but it wasn't that your Lover hadn't shown up to bed last night. That was normal. You'd learned to keep yourself warm in the big bed without him there. You couldn't even remember the last time you two had slept together. Embracing and warming eachother while listening to the others heartbeat as a sweet lullaby to drift off into your dreams.

You'd wake up to his side of the bed never having been slept in. There was no sign of him taking the couch in the living room, or even sleeping in the batcave. You weren't even sure if he'd made it home most nights. Then, last night, you'd heard him come in and basically sprung out of bed just to hug him for the first time in a while. You'd raced down  the stairs of his penthouse, into the livingroom, your heart filled with relief to know he was alive when-

"More Tea, Miss?" Alfred broke you out of your thoughts.

You looked up at him from your place at the breakfast table, him holding a teapot ready to refill your cup, if you so wished. "Yes please. Thank you Alfred," he nodded and gave you a smile "but we've been over this," you glared at him. "My name is fine, no need for the formalities". He pressed his lips into a tight smile. "Yes, of course, Mi-" You squinted your eyes at him,  and he quickly dismissed himself saying he'd left the stove on or something of the sort.

You moved around the food on your plate, carelessly pushing one piece to the other side and back again. Eating didn't seem like something you wanted to do right now. You looked out the massive windows and followed the clouds moving with your eyes. What it would feel like to be a cloud? Soft, fluffy, just going where the wind would take you. It must be nice. To not have a worry in the world.

Alfred made his way back to where you were sitting, wiping his hands on his navy blue Apron. He approached you with a smile. "Stove's all taken care of"

"Good" you smiled.

Silence fell over the room as Alfred watched you poking around in your breakfast with a defeated expression on your face.

"Not to your liking, Miss?"

"No, Alfred. You know your pancakes are the best," you gave him a small grin,  "I just don't feel like eating at the moment. And stop with the whole 'Miss' thing already, we've known eachother for ages!" you said, letting out a small laugh. He gave you a sigh. "I know, I know. It just don't feel right, with you being Bruce's Missus and all"

At the mention of his name your face turned sour. You didn't want to have to think of him right now.

You gave him a tight lipped smile. "Well, call me whatever you'd like, then"

You were about to change the topic, wanting something to take your mind off last night.

But apparently the universe doesn't want you to know peace because that was when she walked in.

Rachel Dawes.

God, you couldn't stand that woman. Everything about her drove you up the wall. Her perfect hair, that always fell how it was supposed to. That charming smile that could make any man swoon. The way she carries herself so confident and all mighty because she was a DA. How she just let herself into your and your Partners apartment like she owned the place.

She didn't even look at you as she strutted straight towards Alfred, who, to your dismay, adored her as much as the rest of Gotham. Or most of it, anyway. You looked down at your still full plate, and made it your mission to blurr out every word she said because you couldn't care less. You didn't give a fuck about what she had to say.

It ticked you off so much how she thought she was entitled to everything Bruce owned just because they'd known eachother their entire life.

She handed Alfred a small envelope which peaked your interest. Rachel pulled him into a tight hug. She acknowledged you for the first time since she barged in and gave you a small greeting that you returned without much emotion. She then bid you two a goodbye and disappeared into the elevator. Alfred still smiled after her. Blegh. If you had eaten anything it would surely make its way up your esophagus right about now.

"What was that about?" You asked.

Alfred gave you a confused look.

"You were sitting right here"

"I don't really care what Mrs. DA has to say. I'd rather hear it from you. Anything I should know?" You questioned with a cold tone.

"No, nothing of importance" he smiled. "What about the, uh, the envelope?" you pointed at the small letter with your fork.

Before he could answer you stopped him. "You know what, I don't even want to know" you spoke, putting your hands up.

"Are you alright? You haven't exactly been yourself this morning-"

"No, Alfred I am not." You hissed tears starting to well up in your eyes.

"What's the matter, Miss-" he asked with concern, but you interrupted.

"The matter, Alfred is-," you sighed angrily tears already falling down your cheeks," They kissed" your voice came out in a whisper, cracking at the end as you realized this was, in fact, not a nightmare.

"I.. I saw them kiss." You muttered.

"Surely you don't mean-" he began, shocked.

"Yes. Him and Rachel" You sobbed, pressing your hand over your mouth, trying to stifle the heavy sobs.

He made his way to your side of the table, with a sad expression on his face. Alfred went to embrace you but you took a step back. "I'm sorry.., but I think I just want to be alone right now"  you managed to choke out. He nodded and you made your way to the staircase leading to you the bedroom. When you were halfway up the steps, you turned to Alfred. "Oh, Alfred?" You sniffled. "Yes?" He responded.

"Would you tell Mr. Wayne that I'm leaving today? Permanently. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be gathering my things."

"Of course, Miss" he answered, sounding defeated.

When you reached the bedroom, you collapsed to your knees. One hand on your mouth the other over your heart. It hurt so much. How could he do this? Didn't he love you? Did all those sleepless nights taking care of him after a bad patrol mean nothing to him? How you were there for him and she wasn't? Licking his wounds, comforting him through his nightmares, helping him in every way you could. Just for him to break your trust and your heart like this.

You could hear faint voices downstairs but you couldn't care less. Your heart had been ripped apart by the one you trusted most. You had some many things planned. All of your expectations, plans, images of your future together went down the drain. You were supposed to be Mrs. Wayne, for Godsake!

Footsteps could be heard racing up the stairs, but you didn't care. You didn't care who would find you like this. Sobbing and screaming your heart out on the cold floor.

The door swung open and in stepped a soaking wet Bruce. It had been pouring, apparently. Funny how the weather knew exactly how you felt.

His heart clenched at the sight. You were a wreck, completely broken down. Not only that, but because of him. He had done this to you. And he regretted it now more than ever. "Baby.." he began, stepping closer. When you looked up at him, his heart shattered completely. He'd never seen you so miserable. "B-Bruce..?" You sobbed. "Yes, sweetheart, I'm so sorry I-" he had made it next to you on the floor, but you interrupted him. "S-Save it, asshole. Leave me alone" you sobbed, trying to move away from him.

Bruce became teary eyed at your reaction. "I never meant-"

"You never meant what, huh?! For me to find out? Well I did." You hissed, being able to gather yourself, at least a little bit. Then, you went right back to sobbing, really. "I.." he sighed "It didn't mean anything to me, I swear I only love you, Honey" he whsipered. You squeezed your eyes shut and shook your head. "You don't mean that.." you whimpered. "I do, I really do. I swear." He continued, gently taking your hand off your mouth and putting his on your cheek, gently stroking it.

You hated how much you leaned into his touch. How much you needed this. craved this. Bruce moved closer, taking off his wet coat, pulling you into his chest. He stroked your hair as you continued your crying and whimpering. You felt so pathetic. He broke your heart and yet you were so willing to give into him. Making you look at him, he kissed you.

First, you tensed up, this being the least you expected. Just a second after you immediately relaxed into his touch. His arms. His lips. Bruce deepened the kiss, pulling you even closer to him. He picked you up and placed you on the bed, he climbed in next to you and cradled you in his arms.

How was he so stupid? He looked at what he'd done to you. Why did he kiss Rachel? He'd been pining afte her for years and took his chance but was it really worth it? Breaking his beloved's heart, making her suffer like this. He regretted his decision with every bone in his body.

"I-I'm so, so, sorry, baby.. please forgive me.." he cried. You just continue sobbing into his chest, you didn't have the strength to try and argue with him. He ruined everything you two had built with one kiss. Didn't you kiss him enough? Not good enough? Why, on earth, did he do it? You couldn't make sense of it. You slowly felt yourself drifting away into sleep. The sobbing had drained all of your energy, and Bruce's embrace was just so warm. And comforting. You didn't fight it. You couldn't. You didn't want to. But one thing was clear. The moment you'd wake up, you'd leave. You couldn't forgive him for this. Ever.

🦇~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🦇

[2mello]

HOW TO MAKE THEM GUNDAM SOUNDS

Or any classic anime/kung fu sound effect in a DAW. Achieving the central spice of it anyway.

Preemptive warning: WATCH YOUR EARS. We are gonna be applying really high levels of resonance + some drive to this basic sound and it can hurt while fiddling, so do all this at a lower volume than usual.

Get ANY synth that can output white noise or even just a white noise sample you ripped from somewhere. Above I have Ableton's Analog synth with OSC 1 on only, set to noise, and the Amp envelope a straight block with all sustain, no release. The Amp level is set to 18 because you want a good ratio of noise to filter resonance, which you'll see what I mean by in a minute.

Then put on any low-pass filter with a lot of resonance and if possible a drive option. For this, I chose Ableton's default filter, with the PRD circuit emulation to allow me to apply drive. You can totally just copy my settings here, but the Envelope amount should be set to taste as it can vary how chunky or fresh the sound is. Remember what I said about the ratio of noise to filter resonance too, because if the noise sample is too loud, the SQUELCH of the resonance will be muddied. So if you feel like the sound is too "sandy" or flat white noise still, try reducing the source noise volume and upping the resonance.

Finally, for extra color, I've added an Overdrive plugin with low drive and wet% and a delay plugin with a fast delay rate. This could literally be anything you want to color up the sound--reverb, phaser, delay, heavier drive, whatever!

Now, have fun tweaking the frequency knob on the filter and watch this sound come to life. You can get anything from radios to laser blasts to hard crunchy punch sounds to exaggerated mech movement.

I absolutely love this sound element and use it in a lot of my sound design, you can make it the central focus or pare it back until it's just a layer. I spent years not knowing I had this right under my nose and was bowled over when I found out the key element of a lot of classic sound design was readily available. I prefer using Serum with all its modern possibilities to do this, but wanted to prove it could be done on the most basic tools too. Here's a video of me playing with the frequency knob and adjusting the envelope.

NOTE: in my vid, the resonance squelch lasts a little long after the sound for my taste. To reduce that, also automate the resonance knob and turn it down after the Anime Moment has been achieved

If you liked this buy my albums or something?

[scorchrend]

what applications do you use to make music? everything you post always sounds so lovely

i use fl studio 21 mostly! sometimes i’ll post something made on garageband on my ipad though. usually fl studio 21 though.

i like fl’s own soundfont player it’s really convenient for me because it makes it really to use slide notes and portamento hehe.

it’s not free though, in fact it’s quite expensive. though it’s also on the cheaper side compared to other daws. it’s not free. unless you try really hard.

anyways i used to use LMMS which is a free and open source daw and can still make a lot of good stuff in anyones hands i just found fl studio easier to use.

not what i normally use but i also have lovelycomposer (makes chiptune) which i really liked to use when starting out, really helped me get into making music and having fun with it at first and using limited tools (though it’s had many updates since i last used it, i’m sure it has wider functionality now!) it’s paid but cheap for what you’re getting. $7.50 USD

[shatterthefragments]

🌻

SO I sorta play/am relearning to play the flute and (tenor sax),

Treble clef to read: my beloved. Not quite as used to the bass clef but I *can* given enough time

And I have a midi keyboard that I may have mistaken for being able to ALSO be a keyboard oops but at least it was super cheap when I got it 😅 and I have *access* to a trumpet if I so wanted bc the sister played in middle school (cost of buying the cheapest instrument < the cost of renting even just for three years in middle school)

And I’ve always had an obsession with the cello and wanted to play SO hopefully I’ll be able to make space for and save enough money to buy one used and though I HIGHLY doubt it would be in time (especially given I’d probably need to road trip to get it) …or if one of the music stores has an absolutely ridiculous sale… that’s also an option 👀

Buuut given I can’t really remember how to hold a bow properly and tbh was Not very good at it anyway (but hey I only had one free 30 minute lesson that was SUPPOSED to be for the flute to develop skills further in concert band) I’d need actual lessons and probably couldn’t jsut learn on YouTube but the near city has adult basic cello classes!!

But given that maybe bass or guitar would be better first?? But I don’t know if my fingers can reach across the fretboard?? I couldn’t really when I played guitar in my hotel suite I got upgraded to (…I should. Post to my personal social media at some point bc they probably upgraded me bc I’m young and they figured I would) but it’s still super fun!!

Or like. I know I can finger the ukulele bc I played in third grade but it broke so I can’t anymore but back then it was maaaaybe $40 and I fear it would be twice that (ah yeah they are. Also I don’t remember how to play at all) (and ukulele basses are even more expensive)

Buuut I also need to brush up on my theory and tbh bc I play wind, I have no idea about Chord theory or progrsssions. So maybe learning in a keyboard (which are fairly cheap in marketplace but I just. Have a Lot of mini trips coming up… so I should not by any means. Especially if I also want to get more tattoos in the fall) also I kinda want an alto sax too since fingerings translate

So I can’t really decide what to do next (“get good at your current instruments shatters!!”) also I lost the tenor sax mouthpiece after I washed it so I could hopefully start playing again but in sure it’s kicking around in the kitchen somewhere (tbh I’ll need to wash it again if it is though)

Also considered drums bc Ekits are quieter however I have no space (my sax is currently in the sis’ room 😭) and then booked a trip instead :P

And like?? I need to figure out which daw (preferably free) I can use to record stuff~

Ah I should probably get a mic at some point but I’m hoping my phone or earbuds will do the job for me tbh haha

Wanting to maybe fiddle around with a few covers (prev just Kingdom of Cards but gosh there are SO MANY GOOD SONGS less that I am capable of singing - fuck knows I can’t actually sing the way they do and my range is Limited but 🤷🏻 if I’m having a good time it’s all good hey)

And then eventually make one of my songs (which. Let’s be honest. Many old lyric papers I recycled now. And I still can’t get in to so many of my locked notes in the notes app so I have to most likely come up with something new or newish but that’s ok what else are emotions for but vent poetry amiright??

Also the ads for nocturnal bass are wearing me down but it’s too expensive when I have no clue what I’m doing yet. I have a bunch of free sounds loops and resources already… as long as I can Actually access them on a portable drive bc my laptop has no space and I need to delete so much off it already tbh

And I know it’s not a tag game but friendly tags for my fellow musicians to ramble on about music/instruments if they want to: @eepymonstrr @ongreenergrasses @hookedhobbies @caffeinatedbraincell @elkkiel (bc drums 👀) @branches-in-a-flood (unless it’s too long ago now and doesn’t bring you joy to talk about) and anyone else who wants to ! GOODNIGHT!!!

[creativia10]

The Cartoon Therapist

Dr. Emile Picani had decided to come to Jericho as the new town therapist. Wednesday has her first session with him, as she is still mandated by the court to see a therapist. Dr. Picani likes to use examples from cartoons to help his clients. It's certainly a unique form of therapy practice for anyone who is not familiar with his methods.

Word count: 2179

Warnings: mentions of a gruesome death,

Notes: Disclaimer the following is not an accurate representation of an actual therapy session. As I am not a therapist. The following is inspired by Cartoon Therapy and various fanfiction therapy scenes. Also my own sessions as a patient and this video. I tried to take what the therapist in this video pointed out was wrong and make it better here.

Emile has had all kinds of patients in the time he’s had his practice as a therapist. He will admit to himself though, this situation did stick out. Not that he would say so to his new client. The last thing he wanted was to make her feel more ostracized than she possibly already was.

Of course, Emile was well aware of court-mandated therapy sessions. He didn’t get such clients often. Maybe the courts didn’t think he was serious enough. But he was a bit of an emergency replacement for Wednesday’s last therapist. Nobody expects a beast attack after all. Apparently, Emile was the only therapist who offered to replace Dr. Kinbott. This was likely due to other recent events that had happened around the city of Jericho.

To Emile, that seemed like even more of a reason to go over there and help. People would definitely need therapy after everything that had happened. Of course, it did mean his current clients would have to make some adjustments. Many of them were willing to travel to see him at his new location in Jericho. He certainly would not have expected that of them. But it was sweet in a way. He was glad he had such a positive impact on them.

He was at Dr. Kinbott’s former office. But he had gotten the chance to add some of his cartoon decorations around the room to feel more like his.

He started with his typical new patient intro.

“Daw. Duh duh daw dee  daw dee daw. Duh duh daw dee daw dee da de de da de de da de de da de de da.”

Emile continued with his song. He gradually waved his small jazz hands in through the door and made his first entrance.

Wednesday stared at him with wide eyes. Which he was used to from a lot of his new clients. He caught his breath for a moment before walking over to sit in his chair. He cleared his throat and sat up as he turned to face her.

“New patient, do you how do?”

Wednesday continued to just stare at him.   

“Ah, was the intro a bit much? Sorry about that. I try to start things off fun, but it’s not for everyone I understand.”

Wednesday’s expression didn’t change.

“Well anyways, let’s get into it. I’m aware you had been seeing the previous therapist for a bit.”

“Yes, she was brutally murdered by my ex, who was also a patient of hers,” Wednesday said.

Well, that was probably something they would need to get into.

“How did you feel about that?” Emile asked. “Remember, anything that is said in these sessions is completely confidential. The only exception would be if there was a plan of imminent harm.”

“Well, at the time I had thought she was a suspect in the killings by the beast. Or at least, the master of the beast. So I suppose I was surprised that she was the latest victim. Now though, I’m not sure. Perhaps disappointed I was wrong enough for her to end up being the latest victim.”

“Why was she a suspect?”

Wednesday crossed her arms and leveled him with a look.

“What is the point of this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“You had a suspicion of her for a reason.”

“There were various factors that went into my suspicion. I don’t see the point of recalling what lead to my suspicions of a false suspect.”

“Very well. You know what this reminds me of?”

“The Joker?”

“No, Dipper from Gravity Falls.”

“I don’t know what that is.”

“Oh that’s fine, I’ll tell you about him. Dipper is a boy in the Cartoon show Gravity Falls-“

Wednesday grimaced. “A cartoon?” She looked around. “Ah yes, I did notice a lot of children’s cartoons memorabilia, even if I don’t know what most of these are from.”

“Ah, well cartoons aren’t just for kids. In my sessions, I show people how cartoons can relate to them more than they realize.”

“I would take no joy in imagining such a world as depicted in animations. Makes me sick even thinking about it. Colorful and over-the-top. Like a rainbow threw up all over an extravert’s fever dream.”

“Ah, well cartoons aren’t all the same. Gravity Falls certainly isn’t like other cartoons. I’m not saying you have to watch it anyways. I just like to use the show as a relatable example. To help people reflect on themselves, in an often easier-to-process way.”

“Relatable?”

“Just hear me out. You may be surprised. Dipper is a boy from an area very different than Gravity Falls. In the show, he spends time briefly away from most of the family he usually lives with. In his case, it’s for the summer. Gravity Falls is a strange town. He spends much of his time there investigating it’s mysteries. Sound familiar at all?”

Wednesday didn’t say anything.

“It’s not unusual for kids away from home for the first time to throw themselves into something. As a distraction.”

“I didn’t go looking for a mystery, it was already there. And I’m not a kid.”

Emile hmmed. “No, I suppose not. You’re a teenager. And I wouldn’t say Dipper was looking for something either. He had the drive to uncover the mysteries he could tell were there. To the point where mystery hunter became a bit of his identity there. What do you think of that?”

“I’m not really sure why you’re pushing so hard to see if I relate to a fictional character from a show I have never watched.”

“I’m not trying to push it, I’m sorry if it came across that way. I wanted you to think about it.”

“You can’t force me to think about something.”

“Of course not. That’s not what I’m trying to do here. This is our first session. Our back-and-forth responses to this topic can help us get to know each other better.”

“Why would you care about that?”

“Well, it’s a lot easier to help you out when I know you more.”

“I don’t need help. I do a lot on my own perfectly fine. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t mandated to be by the court.”

Emile nodded.

“I understand that. I think it’s a good idea to try to get what you can out of this though. Therapy can be helpful to all kinds of different people. Many therapists see their own therapists as well.”

“My therapist before Dr. Kinbott had a mental break after seeing me and had to go on a three-month sabbatical.”

“That sounds like redirecting. I think you see my point.”

“You don’t know whether I see your point. We just met.”

“I suppose that’s true. Which is why we are getting to know each other.”

“This is pointless,” Wednesday said. She stood up.

“Do you need a break?” Emile asked.

Wednesday narrowed her eyes at him.

“It’s okay if you do, or if you need a change of scenery.”

“I don’t need a break. I just don’t need this.”

“Well, unfortunately, because of the court mandate, you can’t skip out on part of a required session. Feel free to get comfortable as much as you can though. This is supposed to be a safe space. I’m not expecting you to immediately feel that way about these sessions. This is your first time with me after all. But I will do my best to try to help you with that.”

Wednesday sunk back into her seat.

“I can’t see comfort as something I would seek out here. Not when I’m being forced to be here.”

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that. I do understand though.”

“Do you?”

“Maybe not in the same way. I do have a degree in psychology though, so I know some about it. Is there anything you would rather talk about?”

“No.”

“That’s alright. How about we switch to safer topics anyways though? Are there any shows you do enjoy?”

Wednesday furrowed her brows.

“I do not watch a lot of shows.”

“Alright. What do you enjoy doing then?”

Wednesday sighed.

“I like to play my cello.”

“Oo, that sounds cool. How long have you been playing?”

“Several years now.”

“Neato. When do you enjoy playing it?”

Wednesday shrugged in response.

“Do you play it often?”

“Not really.”

“Do you have any preferences to play when you do?”

She hmmed for a moment.

“I like more edgy and dramatic-sounding songs. It’s soothing to me. Plus there are classics for a reason.”

Emile nodded.

“Well, that is certainly a style.”

“As many say.”

“Were you trained in that style or did you learn them on your own?”

“I was trained classically. It wasn’t too difficult to adapt to my more personal preference for music if the written music was up to standard. My taste in music usually went over better back at home anyways.”

“I see. So your family shares your taste in music?”

“Mm, not completely, but mostly.”

“What do you mean?”

“Pugsley is more likely to dapple into more modern trending styles at times. Not that we hear so much in our household. But we all appreciate the dark and edgy in the Addams household.”

“Do you think your parents influenced the type of music you chose to play?”

Wednesday narrowed her eyes.

“My music style is my own.”

“I’m not suggesting it’s not. Just that a lot of times our interests are influenced by a combination of things. This can include what we are exposed to and the interests of those around us, such as the people who raised you.”

Wednesday hmmed.

“I suppose I can’t completely get rid of my parents’ influence when they did raise me. I can begrudgingly admit to such a thing, but I certainly don’t make a habit of copying them. I am my own person. And very different from others.”

“And there is nothing wrong with wanting to discover your interests in your own way. Different from authority figures you’ve had in your life. Although, that does make me curious. Why are you so adamant to keep from copying anything from your parents?”

“Because I am not my parents!” Wednesday exclaimed.

“I am not like them nor do I want to be.”

“Why don’t you want to be? Not that there is anything wrong with that, but it seems important to you.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Perhaps not. That is just how it seems from your reaction to it.”

Wednesday huffed.

“I just don’t want to, and I couldn’t if I wanted to. Is there anything wrong with that?”

“No, there isn’t. And it’s ok if you don’t know.”

“You keep saying things are okay,” Wednesday muttered. “But I don’t understand why you pushed just to back down.”

“Well, in therapy we encourage you to talk things out if you need to. But different patients also have different comfort levels. I don’t want to push a boundary that would get you to shut down. What’s important is you get as much help out of this as you can. It wouldn’t benefit me at all if all I managed to do was make you uncomfortable and upset.”

She didn’t seem to know what to say to that.

Emile glance at the clock.

“And that is all we have time for this week. How are you feeling?”

Wednesday didn’t say anything.

“Okay, same time next week?”

Wednesday stood up.

“Might as well be.”

“Great!” Emile stood up as well. “Well, I hope this session went well for you. I know first sessions with a new therapist can be uncomfortable. So, hopefully we can continue to form a bond of trust from here. Have a good week Wednesday!”

For a moment Emile thought she wouldn’t acknowledge him. But then she nodded with that expressionless face before stomping out. He hoped things got better with her. It wouldn’t be the first time he had a client that was hard to get through to in the beginning. But he especially felt for ones like her. Who had gotten rotten luck in the therapy department before. Everyone deserved support. Especially kids, or teens like her who he just knew was a great one.

-

The appointment with Wednesday's replacement therapist did not go how she’d expected it to. Although this was hard for her to admit to, even to herself.

There was certainly less invasion of privacy at least. Not that she would let her guard easily, but it felt less like a battle. He backed down more, but still maintained some level of control. She wasn’t sure how he did it. Admittedly, it was nice. That this therapist didn’t have the potential to be connected to a killer mystery. At least, as far as she knew at this point. He wasn’t even from around here. She was a bit surprised. They found a replacement rather quickly. And the replacement actually seemed competent.

Well, she had no plans to give in to him easily. But hopefully, these sessions wouldn’t be as annoying.  

[world-through-my-eyes]

Japan Part 4

We’re going to Mt. Fuji and Asakusa todaaay. Before we leave, may nabasa kami so sabi ni Berns “hindi raw malamig sa Mt. Fuji, mainit daw” so I didn’t bring my gloves. Nasa bag ko na pero tinanggal ko pa.

We arrived at Shinjuku station and waited for our bus. We were asleep the whole ride. Nagising nalang kami nung malapit na and look may cutie pie na sumisilip. Tall, white, and handsome 🥰

When we arrived at the Kawaguchiko station, the famous Lawson spot was jam-packed. We did some konbini runs and ate our food in the parking lot. Sa influencer na nagsabi ng “hindi malamig sa Mt. Fuji” i hate you 😭 ako lang yung walang gloves, I was freezing to death, I also didn’t layer kasi “mainit daw” why didn’t we even bother to check the temperature? Our fault. I cannot eat properly bc my hand is shaking. I had no choice but to buy myself a glove, which cost me around 500 pesos. But damn, sobrang nipis ng gloves tagos na tagos sa buto ko.

Nakakainis yung jbang tourists. Tawid nanf tawid sa maling tawiran to the point na nasstress na ung locals kakasaway. Mostly, Chinese yung pasaway.

We just took some photos and went back to the station. I love soft served ice cream rawwwr 🥰 Naikot na namin lahat ng souvenirs shops. Marami na rin akong ref magnet na nabili hehe ang mahal 500 yen isa. Wala na kaming magawa kasi hindi kami nag avail ng tour (#regret) tapos yung bus namin mamayang 7PM pa 🫠 we decided to go nalang sa Fuji-Q to kill some time (gusto nilang makita yung Naruto themed park and they want to watch the AOT). We rented a bike and sabi namin 4 hours lang so need namin maibalik yung bike ng around 3PM.

It was my first time na mag-bike sa highway. I was praying for my dear life while biking. ‘Wag sana banggain ng trucks habang nagbibike. Hindi ako nagbibike sa Pinas pero ang lakas ng loob mag-bike sa Japan. It was fun pero nakakapagod ung paakyat huhu. After 30mins of biking, we finally reached Fuji-Q.

We roamed around and took some photos of Naruto and his gang??? HAHAHA, but I didn’t because I was freezing. Went to the AOT pero sadly, closed daw :< Very chill yung theme park nila, EK who? HAHAHAHA. We decided to eat first before heading back to the station. We ordered burgers (I ordered the avocado, twas yummers), and while we were eating, we were all shaking. It was around 2 degrees at that time and potek ung hangin? mas mahangin pa sayo hehe

We even tried the famous 10yen and the tanghulu. I don’t get the hype sa 10yen hindi naman masarap but yummers yung tanghulu.

Anyway, around 3PM na that time (penalty na sa bike huhu) so we decided to head back sa station.

The first few minutes chill lang kami. We even took photos pa. But, after an hour, we realized nawawala na kami. Kasi, max 30 mins lang naman from Fuji-Q to station pero 1hr na nagbibike parin kami tapos wala na kaming makitang tao at puro nalang damo damo. Maaga sunset sa Japan. 5PM palang madilim na ganon.

Dito na nag-start. Hindi marunong gaano si Berna mag bike so nasa gitna namin sya at nasa likod ako para alalay lang in case na may mangyari. Laging sumesemplang si Berna and yung last semplang nya nahulog sya sa bushes. I helped pero si Alexis nakatingin lang. Nagalit si Berna kasi hindi man lang tumulong ang jowa tapos mali pa ung nilikuan ni Alexis. Sabi niya “ayoko na mag-bike, maglalakad nalang ako” ramdam ko ung inis nya kasi puro sugat na sya. We were in the middle of nowhere, and napepressure na kami kasi magaasarado yung rental shop ng 5PM. If hindi kami aabot, we would have to go back to Mt. Fuji again tomorrow, which was not an option for us. (3hrs away from Shinjuku yung Mt. Fuji) She realized she had no choice but to bike, so we continued our “journey”. I realized na sobrang lungkot pala dito. Walang tao pero if meron man, puro matatanda na. Sarado na yung ibang shops. Ewan, ganito yung napapanuod ko sa ibang movie yung may killer. Tapos tatakbo ka sa neighborhood nyo to ask for help pero walang tao.

Si Alexis ang may hawak ng Wi-Fi since siya navigator namin. We were pedaling so fast, as if our lives depended on it. We passed by Kawaguchiko Lake, and I was mesmerized. It was so peaceful and beautiful. I loved how the wind blowing on my face made me feel relaxed despite the chaos. But moments later, Alexis realized na he had pinned the wrong 'Lawson' on Google Maps. SHET PO. Kaya pala nagtataka kami bakit dumaan kami sa cemetery. Quarter to 5 na. We only have 15 minutes to reach the bike rental shop, or else gg kami. We decided na paunahin na si Alexis since he's a guy and mabilis siya mag-bike. Dala niya yung Wi-Fi for google maps and sabi namin susundan nalang namin ni Berna yung way nya. WE GOT LOST. We don't know which way yung tinake ni Alexis. Ang hirap din kasi we don't have wifi. The whole place is a ghost town. Wala gaanong tao sa daan so we don't know kanino mag-tatanong. We're panicking but Mt. Fuji is looking at us. Haaaay, it's so pretttyyy! I just want to stay where I am and admire the beauty of Mt. Fuji in this exact moment. I don't want to leave yet, but it's time to go. We biked until we see the stoplight. There, I captured my favorite moment. Everything felt surreal. I'm in awe and it made me tear up. (If you had told me one year ago that I would be in Japan, I would have never believed you. I've gone through so much shit that I stopped believing things would get better. But hey, I'm here looking at Mt. Fuji, though I'm lost, which is part of life. I realized things will get better, and I will find my way, as I always have.)

We found a local and asked kung nasaan yung station. From there, we found our way. Nakarating kami sa rental shop on time and paid 3000 yen for the penalty. We went to the station since yung bus will arrive at 7 PM. We didn’t eat na din kasi sa Asakusa na kami kakain.

Another nightmare. Nasa station na kami ng 5PM waiting for our bus to arrive. Inannounce na madedelay daw yung bus which is okay since nasa station naman na kami. But, as an overthinkers, every time na may bus papuntang "Shinjuku" pinapuntahan namin to check if ayun ba yung bus (afraid na maiwanan) but hindi daw. So we waited. Hours passed, but there was no sign of our bus. That's when we realized we were fucked. NAIWANAN KAMI NG BUS. I don't know how it happened since nasa station lang kami the whole time. Wala naring tao sa station or kahit staff man lang to assist. (This is what the station looks like. Oh diba walang bus kasi iniwan na kami 🤣)

We don’t know what to do. Ang layo namin sa city and taxi is so damn expensive huhu so hindi siya option. Nung time na to, nagpapanic na kami buti nalang may last train pa to city (3 train rides) and that’s the cheapest option.

It was a cold night, -1 degrees. We were tired, and Berna was mad as hell.

Habang hinihintay namin umalis yung train, niraratrat ni Berna yung bus company sa e-mail hahahaha. The whole ride lasted 1hr I guess. I was so cold that I slept through the entire train ride.

We arrived sa first station. We just waited for another train papuntang Shinjuku. Look at us, hindi naman kami nilalamig. Sakto lang. HAHAHAHA

Few minutes later, we arrived sa Shinjuku Station. 1 ride nalang para makauwi malapit sa Airbnb namin. Our nth nightmare. We cannot find our way. It's like a maze na walang labasan. Bumabalik lang kami kung saan kami galing. When we found our way, wala na, umalis na ung last train. SHEEET! NAIWANAN NA NAMAN KAMI. May isang Japanese girl na sinamahan kami palabas and she said taxi nalang ang only option. Naglakad lakad kami ng 10-15 minutes para makahanap ng taxi. Gusto ko nang sakalin sarili ko nung time na to, mamamatay na ako sa lamig, pagod, at gutom. It took us a while bago makahanap ng taxi. We found one, and it cost us around 800pesos for a 5min-ish ride. Takte!

At this point, wala nang nag-sasalita. Gusto nalang namin sumabog lahat. Hindi na kami nakapaglibot sa Asakusa at nakakain ng legit na food. 3 days na kami pero puro Konbini foods lang kinakain namin. Habang kumakain kami, ramdam mo ung inis ng bawat isa. Badtrip na lahat. Gusto ko nalang umuwi ng Pilipinas. Nung madaling araw, nagising ako kasi sobrang lamig and sa sahig ako natutulog. Lahat ng damit na pwede kong ipatong, pinatong ko na sa sarili ko kasi hindi ko na kaya. I looked for the remote ng heater pero hindi ko mahanap buti nagising si Berna and sabi ko "nilalamig ako huhu" and pinahiga nalang nya ako sa bed nila gagi ang comfy pala sa pwesto nila pero pati sa pagtulog, thirdwheel ako. HAHAHAHA

That’s it. Yes, pagod kami. Ang daming nangyari ngayong araw. Rollercoaster yung emotions namin but I'm glad it happened. Sabi nga ni Alexis "magiging core memory to" which is true. I don't mind getting lost again (basta makauwi nang buhay hehe).

Tomorrow is our last day in Tokyo. To be continued.

[lucky4catalyst]

THE PUBLIC PRESENTATION 

The live set; I truly began to understand its significance in the scene because of this YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@HFP23/videos. I had seen many live sets, but didn’t fully appreciate what the live set stood for in the Tekno context. It is deeply rooted in the history and forming of the culture. There might be a few reasons for this, firstly the analogue sound and minimal approach to the genre easily translates into a live performance. Also, that artistry is taken very seriously in the scene, and a live set can allow for a better expression of the self than playing other peoples tracks might. I also theorise that one of the main reasons for the significance of the live set is that at a Teknival or Rave that might extend anywhere from 3-14 days, DJs might run out of Vinyls after awhile, the live set allows for improvisation, experimentation and continued/prolonged sound generation. But perhaps the importance of the live set hides in its ephemerality, the live set can only be experienced in that moment. That’s something very unaccessible and almost intangible to those who haven’t been present at the happening. This stands against commodification and the commercial DJ concept of ‘crowd pleasers.” This seems to resonate well with the anarchist and anti-commercial ethos of the culture.

See there’s plenty of ways to play music, plenty of approaches you can take, all just as respectable as the other if you respect the craft. However there is this reoccurring sentiment that Digital DJing doesn’t require the same skill set or knowledge the a live set of mine vinyl might require. I don’t agree but can see why some people feel that way, given the amount of DJs who don’t do much behind the CDJs and have a basic selection of music. Its for this reason that I choose the live medium to play my tunes at almost all costs. I also feel a strong sense of autonomy over my music when I play live. However, I still choose to use a DAW and play with Ableton. I feel completely using hardware would be fun but that I am able to deliver more at this current point in time. 

Now back to the event, I prepared my live set a few hours before arriving at the venue. I usually only prepare for a gig if its an important, if not I just open my Ableton project and see what’s good to play for the specific crowd. Here are a couple screenshots of the live set to give you an idea.

Ultimately the performance was a lot of fun, it's always great to play for your mates in an intimate setting instead of a large group of strangers. Both are fun, but I felt more comfortable and also, that they would understand the music. Anyway, here are some videos of the experience. 

[xiloscient-is-gay]

Actually, it'd probably be better to put all of my music stuff in the same place. So anyway here it is! This is a bunch of music I'm composing for a friend's celeste mod, called Zenith's Descent. This will be updated as I make more of it

Deja Vu is a very slow and eerie song, which ended up being long enough for me to need to compress it for tumblr. Not that much happens in it, although it does get more interesting about halfway through

Also, I put way too much effort into making a torch glimmer loop nobody will notice

This is a piece I had a lot of fun making, but it was enormous. The DAW would freeze for a moment when I tried to play it, and some instruments were running out of processing power to work properly

This piece is not quite done, though. I have a full second section to add soon(tm)

This one was a lot of fun to make. It's a version of Madeline and Theo for a similar talk between Madeline and Badeline, with its own synth lead and new B section

The final music of chapter 1! This one is my favorite. It's just so nice

This is a much older song, and is going to be updated with more interesting tempos and sounds later on

This one is heavily based on the music from the Ori games, along with scattered and lost. This one is also getting an audio update. Eventually. Probably after I finish the chapter 1 OST

Almost forgot about this one! The B side track for chapter 2, off of Spirited Ascent

[moldybits]

Omg thats so fun! I love learning about family history. One side of my family is really chaotic and hard to figure out because they changed their names to make it easier for Americans to say so now there's this element if trying to figure out who tf is who lmao. Other side is very straightforward

Oh my god the name changes definitely make it hard!!!

I grew up being told I am Cherokee, which is of course the most common tribe for non native people to claim, so I already started to just doubt it completely when I got older.

It took very little effort to find my family on the Dawes Rolls and and censuses in Indian Territory, OK and newspaper clippings about their involvement in the nation. The only issue is, the family tree research fairly early on because I had very little info on someone’s parents. By almost a stoke of luck today, I managed to find a hint and it unlocked the whole thing!!! A name issue was also my problem lol

I’m working on getting enrolled in the Cherokee Nation (lots of paperwork to collect) and reconnect, and learning about my family roots is a great way to start that!

I know a lot about the other parts of my family, but the stories on the Cherokee side of the family are fragmented. Well… they were anyway. It’s my project to document it now lol

[cryanne23]

Dati tuwing may mag aask ano ba gusto kong specialization, lagi kong sinasabi na cardio ang gusto ko because heart is my passion. Cheka then I got to meet ECG tracing interpretation na never ko na ata magegets nung first year at internal medicine subjects na sobrang daming subspecialty nung third year, which made me doubt kung kaya ba talaga ng brain cellz ko magmaganda siz. Hmm. Until now torn pa rin naman ako sa cardio, derma, family medicine, and most recent nga yung ophtha. As much as possible I’d like to keep an open mind kasi gusto kong maenjoy and matuto sa every single rotation that we will have this clerkship year. Sobrang amazing lang ng medicine, theres just so much to learn! And yes, I really love learning, pero I despise studying for the grades with all my heart (cos it makes me super anxious and it takes all the fun out of learning)! So imagine yung fascination ko nung first time akong makanood ng laparoscopic cholecystectomy during our surgery rotation, nung first time akong nagdeliver ng placenta at nag assist sa cesarean delivery during ob rotation, nung first time akong nag assist ng tonsillectomy.. If you are also the type na masaya tuwing may natututunang something new, then I’m pretty sure that you will enjoy taking up medicine! Pero I think what makes medicine a lot less enjoyable is when you happen to end up in such a toxic environment where everyone seems to be sad and angry and miserable. It will surely take a toll on your mental health and your overall quality of life, so it’s really important to choose the right kind of environment that fits your personality. Anyway ang gusto ko lang naman talaga ikwento ay yung first day ko sa IM rotation, sorry sobrang dami na nitong segway. :))

First day palang pero parang gusto ko nang umiyak. Try not to cry challenge po ang pamaskong handog satin for this december, brought to you by IM rotation. Huhu sobrang grateful ko lang kay Guia kasi just when I was about to cry, she handed me candies tapos good luck candies daw yun. Thank you Lord for kind souls 🥺 Imagine night shift kami on our first day. Right after the endorsement, kakarating ko palang pero nag code na agad ang pasyente ko. I also had 17 patients for vital signs monitoring, sobrang grateful lang din kay Karen Joy kasi kinuha na nya yung dalawa kong pasyente. Plus admitting team pa kami so I had to take complete history and physical exam of my patient. We were also assigned paperworks such as course in the ward and discharge summaries during that shift, pero siz idk kung inefficient palang ba ako or di na talaga kaya ng time so we had to do this during our off. Then just few minutes before our 7AM off, may nagcode na namang another pasyente under our team huhu. Right after our 12-hour duty, hindi pa rin uwian kasi meron pang admission conference so we had to stay for three more hours. I was informed that our group will be the presenting group for our first ever adcon this IM rotation, pero I had no idea na ako lang pala mag isa magppresent in front of our consultants, residents, PGIs, and co-clerks??? ??? Pagod na pagod na ako mga mhie. Yung anxiety ko biglang umabot ng moon nung sinabi ng PGI ko na ako lang daw mag isa ko presenter, just few minutes before the adcon. Sobrang asdgjaafahjaagda!!! Legit gusto ko na talaga magpatawas. Anyway huhu after akong mabigyan ng candies ni Guia, sobrang kumalma na ang pechay ko so naitawid naman ang first on the spot gulatan adcon on my first duty this IM rotation ❤️ Hindi rin ako napagalitan ng seniors namin kahit super bano pa ako mag physical exam, pero need ko pa raw magpractice so thats what I’m gonna focus on this weekend.

Praying for more learnings, endurance, proper diskarte and time management, and emotional regulation skillz this month, Father God 🙏🏻

Good luck candies from Guia saved the day 🥰

[absolutebl]

BAD BUDDY - Ep by Ep Snarkfest

Not sure if this will be a trash watch or not, but are you ready for this? 

But first... I thought it might be fun to see what my predictions were back in 2020 when GMMTV first announced this show. 

I should acknowledge that I publicly stated, many times, that I thought Nanon would NEVER do a BL. So this is me eating crow: 

DEETS! 

Origin: Book (Behind the Scenes) adaptation of a enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, Romeo & Romeo, secret relationship, university sports setting y-novel 

MDL Listing | Trailer 

Wait I’ve seen them do BL before? Seriously? Fine. Nanon Korapat in My Dear Loser+ like everything GMMTV not BL. Ohm Pawat in He’s Coming to Me, Make it Right 1&2, Dew the Movie, The Shipper + like EVERYTHING BL.

Side dishes: Drake (My Tee, 2gether, 1000 Stars) and Marc (My Gear and Your Gown)

My 2020 Predictions: It’s from GMMTV with BL director Backaof attached (1000 Stars, He’s Coming to Me, Dark Blue Kiss, Still 2gether), so it’s gonna happen. Both actors and director have a history of picking quality projects with decent scripts, and production values are likely high. Should be excellent but low heat. Ohm will have his shirt off a lot.

Shall we begin? 

Episode 1 - Oh well, fuck me, it’s actually great

They had me the moment Pran took his earbuds out and put them carefully into a case before going into battle. This show is fantastic. 

Officially, as of this moment October 29, 2021, I’m declaring there to be too many gay engineering students in BL for me to keep track of anymore. Bad Buddy has defeated me. It is the gear the broke the smock-covered back. 

Pat’s little sister is my spirit animal I LOVE HER. I’m sorry tho, I can’t call her Pa, so I’m changing the spelling to Pah henceforth. (It’s Thai to English, all spelling is merely a figment of your deranged imagination anyway.)  

The pace was great, this was a FAST moving opening episode. Ironically, that means I’m now concerned about pacing - a lot happened already, how are they going to daw this out into 12 eps unless it’s super slow burn? Then again, this is based on a Y-novel, so should be better than normal Thai BL (although the horrible looming shadow of My Gear and Your Gown is RIGHT THERE) so trust is thin on the ground.

All that said, we are off to a GREAT start and so far I’m loving this show. (I would have bet good money Ohm would be topless first, tho.) Also, yes we all GOT the Romeo & Juliet bits GMMTV, thank you for clipping us upside the head with those. Is Drake actually playing Tybalt? In which case, who’s Mercutio? (Randomly: does the kid playing Wai look like Heeseung from Enhypen to anyone else, or is it just me?) 

How cute was that bit where they subverted the wound tending trope though? Pran was like “You must be joking.” I got quite a chuckle out of it. 

Little to no seme uke with these boys, which is good, suits the actors’ dynamic. 

Looks like GMMTV is gonna both start (1k*) and end 2021 on a high note. Fingers crossed. Honestly it just so nice to have them back in the game. 

Episode 2 - Damnit, It Continues to be Good

The first quarter of this ep, with them trying to keep their friendship groups apart is so flipping funny. And then I remembered, the best of 2gether was when it did stuff like this. (That drunk scene with Fong flipping his shoe, Gunsmile in the dolly, and Tine driving air still makes me laugh). GMMTV’s stable excels at this stuff, it’s how School Rangers kept going all these years. And Ohm and Nanon are two of the best. It makes me feel like I am in safe hands when they do a montage run like this. 

Also, seriously, the amount for flirting these two do over text is off the chart. And should we talk about the epic eye fucking? Eh, probably not, it speaks for itself. Or doesn’t speak per say... just eye fucks. 

Epic Eye Fucking is the name of my punk band.

Amused to see the combined the mistaken identity game with the rooftop trope. Oh and post-it love note, haven’t seen that trope in a long while. 

I hate hate hate the scene with Heeseung - sorry, Wai - at work at the bar. Which means i really hate Pat’s friends now too. In fact I hate all their friends, this is a blanket statement - GMMTV rectify thyself. I want to love friendship groups in BL, not hate them. V annoying. I hope they all get booted from school for egregious shed collapsing. 

FOLK my love! I have missed you. 

NO SINGING. Thailand, we have talked about this at length! 

So they were separated eternally for being in a band together? 

I get it. They were singing in a BL. I’d have done it too. 

Meanwhile tickle is apparently a good word in every language. Although in Thai strawberry will forever be my favorite. 

BL = closing elevators on the good stuff since Cherry Magic. 

Episode 3 - Is this the one true scion of SOTUS?

I’m getting a serious “inheritor of our SOTUS forefathers” feel from this show (NOT a bad thing) but I’m not entirely sure why. It’s not the narrative, maybe it’s more an aura of confidence that’s the result of a combo of capable acting & solid production? Maybe you lot can help me figure this out? 

How smooth was the guitar pick student ID flirting action? Also a never before seen love offering. Adorbs. And then Pat paying for both their noodle bowls later. 

Boy is GOOD. 

Also, word’s second most handsome pick. First one? Here: 

I love Pat & Pran’s dynamic, it’s this perfect combative competitive flirtation. Reminds me a bit of PeteKao at the beginning of Kiss, although with less of an edge to it. 

Also reminds me of grade school. Honestly, when is Pat just gonna pull on Pran’s pigtails and dip them in ink? Break a slate over his head?* 

* (10 points to anyone who gets that reference.) 

This is a damn good script. 

It lets Pat, in particular, push right up to the edge of confession and then backtrack or turn it into a joke constantly (maybe intentionally, may unconsciously). This has the effect of jerking Pran around, but not maliciously. It means, i think, if they ever are going to actually get anywhere as a couple it’s gonna have to be Pran who really makes the first move, since he’s the only one who has the overt capacity for sincerity. 

It’s very clever. Makes me wonder if the original y-novel was this well done or if this is part of Ohm and Nanon’s dynamic coloring their characters. 

Question for y’all. 

Is “fighting with chopsticks” the new euphemism for “dueling with swords”? 

Asking for a friend. 

Oh and here’s a reminder, because I keep needing it with Pran’s friends. 

Apparently Episode 3 feels compelled to do a major TROPE DUMP. 

The appearance of the meet me in the library trope made me especially happy. Romance in libraries is a favorite setting. Also them pressed together in the elevator thing is fun, doesn’t pop up often in BL these days (Cherry Magic excepted). Plus some more predictable BL tropes: 

side eye, 

look of love, 

stare from a close distance, 

black & white striped shirt, 

lie on ground, 

central aperture framing, 

head pat, 

and so forth. 

On a serious note, the way Pat & Pran’s friends are driving them right back into the corners that their families did as children is really fucking sad. But it sure makes for excellent external tension. 

Looking forward to another week of all I care about is Friday, and not for the normal reasons. 

Episode 4 - annoying friends remain annoying

Look they’re starting to really bother me in an imma fast forward kinda way, they’re no longer adding to the story. Although it is fun to see them tricked into working. But I like to see anyone tricked into working. Leave me alone with a child and I’ll have them conducting regression analysis in about half an hour. (That is NOT a euphemism.) 

Pat wandering into Pran’s room and then just grabbing a book and setting up residence made me think that these two are also a puppy/cat pairing. 

I like the not-a-faen-fatale but more a friend from their past who knows who they are to each other. Cute twist on a tired archetype. Also I am fining myself basically delighted whenever Pat’s sister shows up. Why are sister characters such fun in BL? 

Yes but also... tiny impossible but very cute girl ship has set sail! 

Okay but how many times is Pat gonna call Pran cute or his boyfriend in this one episode? I mean boy actually couldn’t flirt any harder. And then to pretend he likes a girl. Tut to the tut tut. 

Pacing on this one continues to be excellent I’m still excited for where the next one is going. So far, this show is a win. 

Meanwhile someone asked me to go into why Nanon’s acting is so amazing, so I donned my professional-esk hat and had a stab at it here. 

I’d like to see them start redeeming the friendship groups at this point. Pat’s should try helping him win the girl and Pran’s shoudl recognize his misery and try to cheer him up. They can remain at odds with each other, but we (the audience) really need to like them more now. 

See you next week! Same Pat time, same Pat place. 

Episode 5 - they boyfriends

These two are basically boyfriends already. I can’t take the morning routine cuteness: pet names, ordering each other around the kitchen, stealing food. 

Thus the terrible date with The Girl (TM) was appropriately terrible and meanwhile... 

So Pat finally figures out his feels, isn’t jelly of a girl (is jelly of a boy). I kinda like that the jelly is being used to determine identity rather than just as a dumb plot device. 

This is a clever little romance. 

Thank goodness we only had to listen to one song tho. 

Meanwhile Pat is like, oh shit did we actually fall in love in high school and I never realized it? I love this kind of trope. Himbo alert! Big dumb bi boy utterly out of touch with his feelings is just too delicious. Also Ohm got to be subtle for a change, showing this whole remembering of old heartbreak just with nuances of facial expressions at the music concert. 

Question: At the Wai Pat confrontation scene, how did Pat end up on the ground? Did he just decide to fall down in the middle of a fight? I’m confused. 

Finally... GREAT FUCKING KISS.

Look I was gonna give kiss of the year to SamYu (and I still will because, frankly, Taiwan is just better about this stuff) but this one was REALLY good. Much more than I expected of GMMTV, although not from Ohm. 

We all knew he could kiss like a dream from Make it Right, and he was fricking 16 in that series. Apparently some things DO improve with age. 

Anygay, VERY nice boys. Thank you. 

And then Pat’s face. That tiny lost smile: absolute joy and then crushing disappointment in knowing reality won’t let them be together - almost in the same breath. Beautifully done. 

(A DM ask about this kiss has made me natter more so here it is...)

THAT KISS 

I don't analyze the experience of BL as a watcher all that much (more just type out my snarky reactions) but I was asked, so here’s more about Ohm and the kiss. 

I think that smile was a bit of everything: euphoria at having his feelings returned but also the hopelessness of their situation and also a brave front and also first love nerves. It was very complex. Ohm knocked it out of the park this ep but I've seen Dew so I had absolutely no doubt he could do it. 

I love that the director and story had Nanon carry the weight of the emotional burden for most of the first half of the show and now suddenly Ohm has picked it up. It's very cleverly done and could only happen with two extremely good actors.

I do think we are in for a very bumpy ride going forward as a result though. Both of their reactions to the kiss are foreshadows. 

How will they cope with the pressure of friends and family and secrecy if/when they are in a relationship?

Will they smile or wince or both, like Pat? 

Will the joy of first love be enough to keep them on the metaphorical rooftop together? 

Or will one of them run, as Pran did?  

If production is smart with the talent (and clearly they ARE), we'll get flip flopping of who carries the emotional burden of the narrative for the next 5 eps or so until The Dreaded Episode 11 (TM). 

Pacing is different in this BL though (this kiss came early) so DOOM might descend at ep 9/10 or even sooner. It’s hard to predict, this one. Yet another reason just to sit back and enjoy the ride. 

EXTRAS 

Pat & Pran’s language with each other: pronouns, honorifics, and endearment/insult teasing. 

More about the kiss and the dialogue on the rooftop and queer identity. 

Moving on from The Kiss That Broke The Internet. 

Episode 6 - Show Me the Seme 

I was thinking Bad Buddy was pretty much was not going to have a seme/uke dynamic (Thailand’s skipped it before), but in this episode we got us a classic seme active pursuit vrs tsundere uke resistance - so I guess for now, we back to normalcy.

Director Aof pretty much dropped in half the tropes of the Thai BL arsenal into this one episode, so my heart is full, but I think that was mostly to keep the pacing on point since this ep didn’t advance the story much: 

touch my lips and think of kissing, 

beach frolic, 

close stare, 

crash into me, 

drag baby around, 

boys contemplating water. 

The parents are whack immure arses but hay, Love Sick started that nonsense - it’s a grand Thai tradition. 

I kinda love Pat showing up on the bus. I literally said, “You little shit” while I was watching. Also, how much do I love Ohm’s “I’m a self satisfied little shit” face? SO MUCH. 

The dealing with sulky boyfriend at the marketplace was adorable, because of course Pran likes the bits of Pat that are most unlike himself, like the sunshine teasing. And Pat is just learning how to activate that to get his boy into a better mood. 

We ended with the best confession that isn’t a confession meets flirting but make it ridiculous scene in BL. It was great. Pran basically said, 

“Boy, you wanna piece of this, you gotta court me proper.” 

It was adorbs. Also, his smile when Pat calls him his boyfriend in the stinger = fantastic! 

Finger licking good, one might even say. 

I am anticipating these two giving us one of the best and most dramatic public claiming sequences ever. 

Don’t disappoint me, Bad Buddy.

Next week.... secret boyfriends trope launches at last. 

Episode 7 - Oh They Trope-Verse Seme-Switches! 

Okay I figured it out with this episode, Pat & Pran are classic example of no seme/uke, they’re also classic trope switches. I’m glad that’s settled in my brain now. 

I’ll talk about how I came to this conclusion in a moment, but FIRST... we need to talk about these two: 

I’m not sure GMMTV has the guts to give us a full on GL sub plot, but they are absolutely setting one up. But then they throw Wai with a crush on Pah into the mix, so ??? 

This will get v messy for Pran & Pat no matter which direction Pah goes with her choices. Which is very clever of the writers. I love it. I am ALWAYS in favor of clever writers. And you know I like messy. So I’m looking forward to wherever this sub-plot goes, GL payout or no. (Although I recognize there are gonna be some seriously disappointed tumblr rants if there is no actual GL.) 

Pran unleashing his pent-up flirt is a thing of beauty. Also the not-dating dating musical montage was adorable. 

Okay, so, secret boyfriends gave us all the tropes in this one, interestingly if you assume Pat is the seme from the last ep, these all largely subverted that dynamic. 

your relationship with that water bottle (standard seme execution, but I think they just wanted Ohm’s shirt off) 

wound tending (subverted) 

caged wall lean (subverted) 

the library assignation

sponge bath (turned into product placement, very clever GMMTV) 

baby is a messy eater (subverted) 

(Here’s the post where I talk about how certain tropes in BL basically “belong” to either the seme or the uke and that we should pay very close attention when the dynamic is flipped because the narrative is very much trying to tell us something about the motivation and complexities of the characters. A pair that does this while maintaining seme/uke but using it to show us how very soft that dynamic can be are SolorGui in Oxygen.) 

And then Bad Buddy used the cheek kiss, boyfriend peck kisses, and makeup removal trope to show Pat & Pran both pretty much doing this to each other at the same time. That’s basically screaming out that these two are narratively verse. 

So yeah, I’m calling it for no seme/uke in this BL. In fact this episode could be a master class in how to use BL trope expectations to counteract seme/uke standards. It was basically Thai BL undermining Japanese live action yaoi. It’s kind of like: 

Look at how far we have come! These boys will use your tropes for a verse agenda, thank you very much! 

Which I of course flipping loved. (You see what I did there - FLIPping?)

You know what else I loved best in the world? This line: 

You know why? 

Because it reminded me so entirely of Seryo in Seven Days: 

You know I love anything that reminds me of Seven Days. 

Yet again Bad Buddy kept the tension up with no slump in engagement despite this being (on paper) a pretty basic filler episode 7, thin on narrative. I must applaud them. I’m looking forward to more secret boyfriends next week. But I do think someone is gonna find them out. The question is... who? 

In other news: the mom character, instead of gay for you, she’s homophobic for you. Thank you thank you. Trope abuse is my forte. 

Episode 8 - Shirtless Secrets 

Finally the episode where Ohm spends most of it shirtless. The gay gods applaud you, GMMTV. 

So right, the breakfast in bed was so adorable. These two are the biggest flirty teases ever, Pat & Pran are both such good secret lovers. 

The fucking holding hands thing is going to wreck tumblr for days. Are you happy? I hope you’re happy. GMMTV what have you done to us. 

Odds on a shot of Pat miserable and cuddling this T-shirt after the inevitable break up? Come on, you know they wanna do that to us. 

I love the character trait of Pat being obsessed with the way Pran smells, speaking as someone whose partners have historically been dictated almost entirely by smell. 

Meanwhile the lesbians got the wound tending and the shrimp peeling trope - a rare but very important one, IMHO. (Thank you AePete. Incidentally the Thai polite style of peeling shrimp, with a fork and spoon, actually works REALLY well. I taught myself how to do it and am now a bit of a fan.) 

I actually don’t have a trope board for this one since it’s pretty rare. 

And we ended on tension. 

Did I say already that this show is written like, and reminds me a bit of, fan fiction? The way it’s paced, very nice. 

Episode 9 - Wooing a Friendship Group (or 2)

I thought this episode would have a lot more doom, I was pleasantly surprised by how soft it was. A ton of cute tropes were casually dropped: hair dry, face cradle, significant hand hold, the lying loom, boys in black & white stripes. Still, Pran’s friends, especially Wai = the biggest arses. I wasn’t sure they could redeem Wai’s character (and I’m still not sure they did although they gave it their best shot). 

Look, I’m only gonna say this once. 

If you make it hard for someone to come out, you don’t get to blame them for hiding themselves. 

Doesn’t matter what form that coming out takes (secret relationship or queerness). There are countless ways to demonstrate trust-worthiness and allyship, especially around your friends. The onus is on us to be the safe person, not them. 

Nanon playing crestfallen is ADORABLE though. 

Did you hear Korn use “nong” in this scene to mock flirt? It’s very very funny if you understand the implications of the term “nong” under the context of Korn & Pat’s friendship (equals and age mates) and Pat pretending to be jealous of Wai in order to cope with how much Wai is hurting his boyfriend. Korn is doing it to cheer him up. It was sweet and hillarious. 

Who knew Korn would turn into the biggest PatPran shipper? 

Meanwhile Pat chucked his crown into the ring for Bi King (gonna take a lot to dethrone Neo, Leon & Na, though.) 

Pat = Pransexual 

(Shut up, I am beyond chuffed with myself.) 

This is, in part, GMMTV making an obvious effort to correct for some of the great sins of SOTUS in particular and the BL genre in general (gay for you, wifey terminology, punching down humor, and poor GL rep). Marvelous that they are using their flagship show and its massive platform to do so. We of the Queer Normalization Brigade salute you. (Our uniforms are FABULOUS.) 

The GL ship got pushed a little out of port. 

Do I think there might still be some issues with the GL supply chain? Why yes, yes I do, but it’s still very nice to see an attempt made at delivery. (See what I did there?) 

Anygay, we got the friendship groups to come around and now... the parents! How much you wanna bet this drive the break up? Also I really hope the boys uncover a really good reason for the breach between the families, it’d be a lot better if they gave us a solid external stressor. 

I got faith though. 

Episode 10 - Wai’s Lesbian Redemption

Honestly this ep started with the public claiming sequence to end all public claiming sequences. This may win this trope category for all time. 

I really appreciate the continued efforts to keep this drama light - much lighter, in fact, then it has any right to be. I think I have laughed out loud in pretty much every single episode. 

Similarly I appreciate the ridiculous care and thought they are putting into crafty product placement. It’s almost like they are making fun of the way this was handled in 2gether. I wonder if it will spawn more of this kind of mockery in other Thai BLs going forward? 

There is a literary technique called light housing, which is when writers take a flaw or inconsistency in a text/narrative/plot, and instead of trying to burry it, they highlight it and call attention to it, sometimes with 4th wall breaking, sometimes by ostentatiously turning it into a plot device or pivot point. The way Bad Buddy treats product placement feels like that. There’s this attitude of “well if we must include it, instead of trying to hide it let’s make it a party. It becomes less clumsy and shoehorned in (like in Kdramas or other Thai BL) and more an extra playful perk, like a cheerful garish bauble. 

It suits the Thai style to approach product placement this way. 

Could we talk about the Wai giving up on Pah sequence? 

Good, ‘cause we’re gonna. 

Far be it for me to turn the lesbian arc into a chat about the straight dude in the mix, but that’s what is about to happen. (Probubly my most anti Bechtel moment, ever.) 

First of all, Pat’s attitude is aces, let’s just put that out there. For an older brother to say about his younger sister (in Thai culture), “I’m gonna let her make her own romantic decisions” Is fantastic. And maybe wouldn’t have happened if Pat hadn’t been through his own conflict over romance and identity.  

But we gotta talk about Wai. 

This was actually one of the best redemption arcs possible for Wai’s character and one of the most queer moments we’ve gotten in what has been, so far, one of the queerest Thai BLs I’ve ever seen. 

There is along and very storied history of straight dudes (patriarchies, whole cultures) not believing in lesbian relationships because “real love” and “real sex” must involve a penis. Gay sex and relationships have historically been treated as taboo, disgusting, or sickening - but valid. Lesbian relationships and sex on the other hand, have mostly been treated as laughably impossible or inconceivable. 

In the past, this lead to things like Boston marriages, where women spent lifetimes together as partners and were tacitly permitted to do so simply because "romantic love and sexual interest between two women is simply not possible.”  

(When I harp on about queer being a feminist issue, this is one of those aspects.)

So the way Wai just instantly notices and believes that Pah has a crush on Ink and that this crush is not only valid but OUTRANKS his own is INSANE. Like never before seen on screen. 

He accepts that it is Pah’s right to like whomever she wants, and if the one she likes is a woman, that’s not important because it’s just as valid of a choice. 

I can’t tell you how important this kind of scene is in film. And how much it redeems his character. 

This is a HUGE queer statement being made by this narrative. It’s unprecedented. And it’s specifically one of lesbian support. 

Also it goes up against BL notions of the prioritization of a crush over mutual affection. Wai backing down is a way of saying not only is queer love as valid as het love, but that a crush is less important than the return of feelings. 

Meanwhile, Ink’s stink eye is the best.

Ink asking for permission is even better. Gotta love consent. Not to mention cheek & forehead kisses. 

Also the return of dark room romance! 

Anyone else getting PickRome vibes? 

Back to the main story:

Of course it all turns out to be the sins of the father. What did we expect? 

Although, honestly, it’s a bit rich (pun intended) for someone in such a fancy-pants outfit to be complaining about having her life ruined. Things seemed to have, frankly and fashionably speaking, turned out okay for Pran’s maa. 

Next week is ep 11, but who the f knows with this show? It seems to be specializing in non-standard BL behavior patterns. 

Episode 11 - Doom Light

A sort of achey wistful episode 11, because we know, right along with the characters, that Pat & Pran’s attempt to escape the family strife is, in fact, doomed. 

This whole honeymoon sequence (including the shoehorned allegory about Junior not wanting to go back with his mom + Uncle wasting his life on ideology) is just another one of those coming of age moments. Running away and still staying part of the world isn’t really possible, even if you don’t like the world or can’t fit into it (the world doesn’t like you). 

For me the saddest part was at the end when Pat & Pran stand in front of their respective homes crying, because the idea of going home should feel good, and safe, when for both of them it’s the opposite. That is such a queer experience - it was like a gut punch. 

And suddenly this show is reminding me of I Told Sunset About You. 

I’m now going to speculate on the time jump final ep. 

If they really are going to go there, that is a VERY Kdrama tactic. Under the auspices of the tropes of those dramas (and not BL) the following can happen:

the ending is left up in the air but slightly implies that they get back together (see Something in the Rain) 

they get back together in the last 10 min of the last ep, in what feels like a super rushed job (see most het romance Kdramas) 

we return to the Japanese roots (of both BL & Kdramas) and Bad Buddy doesn’t end with an HEA, but instead with them still apart and a sentimental romanization of lost love

In this last tactic, the romantic glory is vested in the unchanging nature of the memory of having once experienced the true passion of youth. The two characters often reminisce about their past over drinks together. I have been known, at my most acerbic to call this “Arthouse Smackdoodle.” 

Now, I am open to being surprised.

In fact, please surprise me. 

Because I don’t like any of these 3 options. In my personal opinion, Kdramas are unquestionably weak around endings. 

On the other hand, with the increasing quality of the BL and companion talent, production values, and performances we must acknowledge the silly frivolous fluff is going to lose against the compulsion to be taken seriously. Especially in a narrative like this one, that doesn’t have a compelling story, just compelling acting and directing. 

So I’m not sure if I should be legitimately scared by the Episode 12 teaser. Or if I’m being expertly manipulated to be scared. Or if I am betraying trust in Bad Buddy by being scared, even though it clearly wants me to be. 

ARGH. 

Honestly, this whole series journey has been a bit much for me. I’m happy Bad Buddy is ending next week not because I didn’t like it, but because I like it too much. 

I need less stress and more poor quality Thai pulp bullshit BL in my life. 

I know, I know. Be careful what you wish for. Paint With Love is still airing. 

Episode 12 - Glory Be, They Stuck the Landing! 

In which Tumblr collectively decides if BB can’t stick the landing, we riot. We did not get off to an optimistic start. I hate hate HATE the Kdrama time jump in the final episodes trope. If you’re gonna do a reunion romance you should do it from the start. I don’t like it when he has to go away and find himself by writing a novel, or solving a mathematical proof, or any of that rot. 

It’s the equivalent of saying to the audience that the characters found something more important then their love for each other, yet we just watched a whole fuck-off drama about how important their love for each other was. You can’t do us dirty like that. 

Oh look! I’m FINALLY ranting about this show and I am less than 2 minutes into the final episode. Only it’s not really this show at all. Squirrel! 

Fortunately, as they have been doing all along, Bad Buddy subverted this trope too. 

Take THAT Kdramas! 

Pran apparently landed in Singapore. (Don’t make them speak English, please.) 

Singapore is one of my favorite places on earth. That view out Pran’s window is of the Marina Bay Sands hotel, I've stayed there! Here's what the Singapore Strait looks like from the roof at sunrise (it’s my phone backdrop).

This has been your moment of glob trotter reverence. 

I return you to your regularly scheduled waffling.

I actually liked the bit of Pat getting together with old friends. It reminded me of exactly that kind of thing in my own post-uni days, and the three on screen together are good. Made me wish I'd gotten more of that friendship dynamic all along. Jimmy really is a great addition to the GMMTV stable. I'm looking forward to his BL this year. (Did you know he's a doctor as well? Apparently.)

The reunion

Did I tear up at the longing glances across the room? Of course I did. I am, after all, a sap. Plus both actors are so good at emoting. However, the high school reminiscing at the reunion was too drawn out for me.

That said, I was happy to have been tricked for the first half of the episode. 

They did long distance and stayed secret lovers the whole time. Nicely twisted but a bit too much audience manipulation. It’s going to fail on rewatch potential. Better than the other options, tho.

And then... the hanging photos trope. Been a while, a rarely used one but fun to see. Reminded me of Dark Blue Kiss and PeteKao’s secret anniversary - a sweet call back from GMMTV to one of their other “keeping it in the closet” romances. (Great, now I want do a DMK rewatch.) 

T-shirt memory sniff... called that one.

Also that’s a v cute subversion of the punishment trope, Pran.

The horsing around and wrestling ending was pitch perfect for this couple and this drama but also pleasingly unusual for a romance story. 

Bad Buddy really tread the line between BL and queer romance and I kinda adore them for that. 

This is a special little drama, and how lucky to get to start the year this way. 

The bar has been raised, Thailand. 

In the end, I loved Bad Buddy. 

The family struggles and friendship group made it a little bit difficult for me to take at times so I am not certain how much I’ll end up rewatching this one. We shall see. 

However, the acting was really excellent and the ending was unexpectedly satisfying if not typical romancey. For now, I am giving Bad Buddy a solid 9/10  - 9.5/10 if I did that because of all the queer affirmation and effort put in to specifically subvert damaging Thai BL tropes. 

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

(source) 

[reidscanehand]

Ne Regrette Rien

RCH 3K Celebration

Based on the song “Ne Regrette Rien” by Edith Piaf

Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAUfem!Reader

Category: Angsty Fluff

TW: mentions of the potential murder of a child, details of the murders of young girls (all typical CM stuff, specifically based on the season 1 episode, “Riding the Lightning”)

I was absolutely delighted to receive this request. This song was not on my playlist, but I did know of it and I do actually happen to enjoy a lot of Edith Piaf’s music. I’ve had a thought of adpating this episode for a fic (I rarely write early seasons’ Spencer, so this was fun). Thank you to the anon who requested this and I hope you all enjoy it! xx 

Spoilers for “Riding the Lightning”, by the way; I try not to focus on the episode too much and to focus more on the relationship between Reader and Spencer, but just it case. Also, if you haven’t watched this episode or haven’t watched it recently, I’d give it a watch; it is a high quality and extremely underrated episode in my opinion! 

Non, rien de rien Non, je ne regrette rien Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait Ni le mal Tout ça m'est bien égal Non, rien de rien Non, je ne regrette rien C'est payé, balayé, oublié Je me fous du passé

He’s still not sure why the whole team has to come down to Florida, but he’d be lying if being crushed up next to you in the SUV isn’t his vision of heaven. Spencer is absolutely thrilled to be here and you seem pretty delighted, too, both of you geeking out a bit over the landmark quality of this VICAP interview: the FBI have never had a chance to interview a serial killer couple before. In fact, you’d told him that you were prepared to beg Gideon to let you join in when Hotch announced the entire team would be flying to Florida for the interview. Hotch would be in the lead on Jacob Dawes’ interview, Gideon would take the lead on his wife, and believed accomplice, Sara Jean. Spencer would second Gideon on the interview with Sara Jean, Hotch would be alone with Dawes, and Elle and Derek would be sent to look for more evidence on Sara Jean since she’d revealed very little in trial. In fact, while Jacob had admitted to killing the twelve bodies the authorities dug up from under his workshop, detailing how he and Sara Jean had lured, tortured, and killed all twelve victims, Sara Jean had only admitted to killing her son, Riley. 

Being in on the interview with Sara Jean is strange in the first place. She’s not a serial killer, that much he can tell. You’d told him that theory on the way to the prison, just from looking over her file. Now that he’d met her, he couldn’t help but agree with you. In fact, he doubts that profiling skills are even necessary to recognize that fact once you’ve met her in person, anyway. She’s soft spoken, not that all serial killers are loud by any means, but she’s a good soul, a kind soul, one that can be seen from miles around, like a beacon in the night. 

He almost wishes you could meet her, just to see how right you’d been, though you’d said you were just happy to observe. You, Garcia, and JJ are watching the interview video feed from a separate room set up by the prison. You’re far from just observing, actually. The discovery of a thirteenth body, a murder previously undisclosed by Jacob Dawes, means there’s a possibility - a massive possibility - that there are even more than that. It’s down to you, Garcia, and JJ to see if you pick up on anything - a change in tone, posture, a flicker of something even mildly untoward - that could lead them to more victims. 

“You’re a doctor?” Sara Jean asks him as they walk to the interview room. Spencer smiles and nods. “A medical doctor?” 

“No, ma’am,” he answers shyly. “I have three PhDs.” 

Sara Jean’s soft blue eyes light up and she smiles gently at him, “A doctor! And so young! Your mother must be very proud.”

He nods again shyly, opening his mouth to speak when they are interrupted by none other than Jacob Dawes. Gideon had purposely asked the guards and Hotch to take this specific hallway so that Sara Jean would be forced to see Jacob, and so that he and Spencer could try to observe something about the dynamics of their relationship. 

“Sara Jean!” Jacob calls, as though he isn’t handcuffed and surrounded by guards. In fact, he seems, to Spencer, at least, entirely unaffected by the setting. It’s not too terribly surprising for a psychopath, but it’s still off putting. “You look so fine, babycakes! This was meant to be. Our names will live forever, it’s a beautiful thing!” 

“Spence,” your voice whispers into the comms in his ears, “look at her.” At your bidding, Spencer glances over at Sara Jean, only to be struck by her expression. Stony. Mollified. Bewildered. “She doesn’t look happy to see him.” Spencer nods, knowing you can see his response even if he can’t actually say anything to you. Not for the first time, Spencer is struck by how damn good you are at this job. He’s a good profiler, this he knows, but the way that you watch people, the way you can read them is something so innately a part of you, something he doubts could be trained. 

“You designed that to happen,” Sara Jean almost whispers, turning to Gideon. She isn’t accusatory, she doesn’t even seem mad. It’s a resignation, just like everything else she’s said about the case, about her impending execution. Gideon doesn’t respond. His expression doesn’t even change. “Did you learn anything, agent?” 

“Spencer, I don’t think she did this,” you whisper into his earpiece again. “She seems….something isn’t right about this.” Locating the camera, Spencer looks directly at it, nodding subtly, and hoping you can see in his expression that he agrees with you. 

Avec mes souvenirs J'ai allumé le feu Mes chagrins, mes plaisirs Je n'ai plus besoin d'eux Balayé les amours Avec leurs trémolos Balayé pour toujours Je repars à zéro

You’d once told Spencer that you tended to really ‘trust your gut’ when it came to profiling. If he had a gut like yours, he’d trust it, too. Not only had something not been right about the case, but Sara Jean had, in fact, had absolutely no part in the abduction or murder of any of Jacob’s victims. Or, in fact, the murder of her own son, which was the only act she’d admitted to on the stand.

On their trip to interview Sara Jean’s mother Morgan and Elle were given a letter sent fomr Sara Jean to her mother - a deathbed confession of innocence. They’d read it over the phone, feeding it through to Gideon and Spencer, both of whom started reading it out loud to a distraught and terrified Sara Jean. She’d nearly jumped on Spencer trying to knock his earpiece out. She’d succeeded, actually, in knocking it out - unsurprising, really, as Spencer’s reflexes are hardly the pride of the FBI. It does, however, allow him to see you in person for the first time since the interviews started. You are escorted to the interview room by a very disgruntled looking Hotch, who - to Spencer’s understanding - is very much in need of a break from his interview with Jacob Dawes. 

“How’s it going?” you whisper, helping Spencer affix the comm to his ear. 

He’s so focused on trying not to blush as your knuckles graze his jawline and your gentle fingers touch the shell of his ear that he misses your question, “Wh-what? I’m sorry.”

You smile sweetly, “How’s it going?” 

“It’s okay,” he whispers, feeling the blush (despite his best efforts) crawling up his neck to cheek as you clip the comm cord to his lapel, requiring your hands to delightfully grip at his chest for a few moments. “She’s not what she seems. At all.”

“I told you so,” you tease softly, giving him such an adorable grin that he just manages to swallow over his urge to pass away at the sweetness of the sight. He cheeks are now burning. 

“That you did,” he manages to reply. 

“Keep up the good work,” you assure him, straightening his jacket against the newly adjusted comm. “And know that I’m super jealous of you but that your big, beautiful genius brain is exactly what’s needed for this.” 

You pat his arm and walk away and Spencer’s so overwhelmed that he just manages a broken, rasping, “Th-thank you” in response as you exit with Hotch. He can feel Gideon watching him, but is surprised to look up and meet Sara Jean’s gaze. 

It’s an odd expression, the one she’s wearing now. She looks a bit abashed, Spencer assumes it’s because she just broke an FBI headset, but she also looks slightly curious. Gideon turns to the door to speak to Hotch, a conversation to which neither Spencer nor Sara Jean is privy. He takes an awkward step towards her, more to get out of Hotch and Gideon’s way than anything else. 

“Sorry,” Sara Jean says quietly, “for breaking your ear thing.” 

“Oh,” Spencer replies, surprised, “it’s alright, ma’am.”

“Yes,” she whispers, almost to herself, “I’m sure it is.”

“What do you-”

“That girl,” she interrupts him, voice still soft, “who is she?” 

“G-girl?” Spencer gulps louldly, knowing exactly who she means.

“The agent that fixed your ear thing,” her smile deepens and Spencer knows she’s onto him. “Who is she?”

“That’s, um, that’s Agent Y/L/N,” he replies, willing his voice not to crack despite the pressure in his throat.

“So, she’s another agent?” Sara Jean asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And she also works for the BAU?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And you’re in love with her?”

“Yes ma-” Spencer cuts himself off, realizing what he just said. Sara Jean smiles at him, but it’s not smug or cruel, but gentle and motherly. 

“You haven’t told her, have you?” she asks quietly, sitting back down at the table. Spencer sits back in his seat across from her, shaking his head at her question.

“How long have you known her?” Sara Jean asks, her voice still kind and quiet, mindful of the cameras and microphones being fixed in the room and the fact that they’ll soon be back on and you’ll soon be able to hear their conversation.

“About a year,” Spencer whispers. “She joined the team right before I did.”

“She’s your best friend, right?” Sara Jean clarifies. Spencer nods and she smiles again. “You gotta tell her, you know?”

“I can’t do that, ma’am,” Spencer immediately responds. 

“Oh, but you do,” Sara Jean replies. “I don’t wanna hear any of that silliness of worrying about your friendship. I have seen a lot in this lifetime Dr. Reid and I can tell you this-”

“Mics should be back on,” Gideon announces, still speaking with Hotch over by the cell door. 

“Having regrets makes life far harder than it already is,” she continues as though Gideon hadn’t spoken. “Of all the wishes I have, wishing that I had said all I needed to say, loved all I needed to love, and done all that I needed to do are up at the top, but at the very top is having no regrets and had I done all of those things, I wouldn’t have any of those, now would I?”

The gaze she fixes him with is so intense, Spencer can’t respond. He sort of nods lamely, highly aware that everyone can hear what she’s saying now. But he knows she’s right. He’s been meaning to tell you for a while now, but he truly doesn’t want to ruin your friendship. But the closer and closer you’ve become, the more he’s fallen in love with you. It’s a never ending cycle. 

“Reid,” Gideon suddenly says, breaking his reverie, “I’ll continue here. I need you to go do a handwriting analysis on the letter.” 

Spencer nods and leaves the cell, following Hotch back to the room where you, JJ, and Penelope are working. JJ’s about to go second Hotch on an interview. Penelope is working with Derek and Elle on the hunch that Riley was never dead, but that Sara Jean took him to a hospital or church or that he might’ve been adopted. The room is a flurry of activity, but Spencer can’t focus on any of it, still thinking over what Sara Jean said. 

“Hey,” you whisper as Spencer stares blankly at the letter. “What were you and Sara Jean talking about?”

He meets your eyes. He wants to tell you. He wants to pull you to him and hold you in his arms. He wants to kiss you. 

“Nothing,” he manages to rasp. “Nothing at all.” 

Non, rien de rien Non, je ne regrette rien Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait Ni le mal Tout ça m'est bien égal Non, rien de rien Non, je ne regrette rien Car ma vie Car mes joies Aujourd'hui Ça commence avec toi

Not all cases end in the way the team wants them to - that’s just a fact of this life. However, it’s beyond rare for a case to end like this: Sara Jean hadn’t killed her son, Riley. She’d surrendered him to a family she cleaned for, a wealthy family that renamed the child. Riley was now a cello prodigy, a young adult with a promising future. Sara Jean didn’t do anything wrong and she didn’t want anyone to know about it. She wanted to die. And the team had to let her. There wasn’t enough evidence to substantiate her release from her execution. Gideon had somehow had the strength to watch it happen, per Sara Jean’s request. 

You’d cried into Spencer’s chest. He’d finally managed to gather the courage to pull you into his arms and comfort you - though courage proved hardly necessary. Seeing you cry was catalyst enough. 

It’s been several hours since then, now. The team isn’t leaving until the morning, spending one more night in their relatively nice Florida hotel. Spencer’s standing on the roof. He’d been unable to sleep, walking around the hotel until he’d seen the sign to walk up to the roof. 

He’s staring up at the stars, his mind rolling over the events of the day when the door to get back inside opens behind him.

“There you are,” you almost whisper, as though scared to break the quiet of the night around you. “I thought I might find you here.” 

You cross to stand by him and Spencer realizes he’s already smiling, “Of course you knew. You and that gut of yours.”

“Yeah,” you nod, “me and my stupid gut.”

“Stupid?” Spencer looks over at you, admiring how you glow under the stars. 

You’re looking up at the view, but close your eyes, head still tipped to the sky, “I knew today wasn’t going to end well. I felt it. And it made me...it made me sad. Which is pretty pathetic, really. We’ve handled worse, honestly and-”

“Y/N,” Spencer interrupts, tentatively placing a hand on your upper arm. Your eyes snap open, but you still don’t look at him. “Feeling bad that someone died is far from pathetic.” 

“Maybe I could’ve said something, maybe I should’ve-”

“Y/N,” he whispers again. Using the slight leverage he has on your arm, he pulls you to him, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest. “This isn’t your fault or mine or Hotch’s or Gideon’s or even the governor’s fault. Sara Jean wanted to die and wasn’t going to let anything keep her from that. She wanted to keep Riley safe and make sure he’d be okay. It’s not ideal, obviously, but it’s certainly not your fault.” 

“Is that what she meant?” you ask, your face still buried in his chest. 

“What?” 

You pull back slightly, wrapping your arms around him in response and looking up at him, “When she told you she wants to live without regrets?”

Spencer swallows, but shakes his head, “No-I mean, well, maybe. Maybe subconsciously, but that’s not what we were talking about.”

“Well, what were you talking about?” you ask, eyes never leaving his.

“Um,” Spencer gulps again. “Just some-something else.”

“Spencer, you know you can tell me anything. Even-”

“I can’t...this isn’t just anything, Y/N,” he whispers, almost holding you tighter if possible. “This is...it’s too huge.”

“Spencer, are you okay?"

“Yes,” he nods, “yes, I just...I-I-”

“Spencer, are you sure you’re-”

But he stops you by pressing his lips to yours. He’s not sure why. Maybe it’s how beautiful you look in the moonlight. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re so sweetly concerned about him. Maybe it’s the fact that Sara Jean was right and he’s in love with you and needs to tell you. And to his utter delight and relief you kiss him back. 

You pull back for only a moment, looking up at him with wide eyes, but a beautiful smile, “Oh.”

And as you press your lips to his again Spencer has absolutely no regrets. 

~~~

Link to My Main Master List

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[lysung]

happy first times - bang chan

you and bang chan's daughter comes back home from school earlier than expected and started acting weird, as if she's hiding something.

A/N: hi hi! sorry for being so inactive, uni had me messed up the whole year :( anyways. it's been quite some time since i wrote and posted anything in here, and i haven't been practicing english often either, i'm not sure if i'm doing anything right in here but i hope it's understandable and enjoyable 😭 also, i'm not sure how things work where you live, but at the elementary school where i studied, if you weren't feeling well, felt lots of pain or anything like this, and no one were home to get you back home, someone specific would drop you home. i wrote this based on this vague memory. you can pretend this happens where you live too if it doesn't lol and a fun fact: i've been struggling trying to pay attention to stuff that i wondered if my mind was still working properly, and after watching a clip of chan talking about periods, i was more than sure it was working very well 🥴. took the chance to write this.

genre: fluff

cw: overflowing cuteness, bang chan being the best man ever you'll ba your eyes out because you still can't believe someone this precious exist.

reader's gender is neutral! your daughter can be biological or adopted if you want to, all up to you! feel comfortable <3

this wasn't proofread because it's literally 6am when i'm posting this and maybe i didn't sleep at all just to finish this, but i'll try to remember to do so later today! pls tell me if you find any mistake too <3

hope you guys enjoy it! requests are open ✨

----------------------------------------------------

[09:50]

today is a sunny, fresh and bright day. bang chan, your husband, is taking some time off after his promotions were finally over. although you still had to go to work, today's the day when you're supposed to leave earlier. today just couldn't feel any better than this.

while waiting for you, chan was watching tv until he hears a noise coming from the front door. immediately he thought you would be home, but got confused as he saw your daughter coming in by herself.

- baby? what are you doing here this early? you're supposed to be at-

- iknow, i know. one of my teachers had to leave earlier today and she left me here, because you just wouldn't pick up your phone... — she cut him off with a sad and tired gaze, and chan instantly regretted leaving his phone so far from him earlier.

- ohhhh, i'm sorry so sorry my angeeel — he hugged her while carressing her hair, and she just responded with a quiet yet lovely "it's okay, dad" — but are you okay? what happened that you had to come back home this early?

- i just... don't feel good, my stomach aches way too much... but you don't have to worry, they just- they told me to take some medicine and rest for today — she explained, her voice crackling a bit, as if she was looking for the right words and was about to cry.

chan noticed her unusual behaviour and expressions. at first, he didn't intend to tell her about it or get mad, and just decided to pay extra attention for the rest of the day. as she distanced herself from him, he notices something else - the vivid red stain on her pants, on the inner side of her legs.

reality never hit him this hard. both of you were aware she was growing up, that's just how tome works, but once again, time felt like flying. as if watching her taking her first steps, saying her first words, making her first dawings and friends... everything felt like it hadn't been this long. every moment felt like a blessing. everything gives you two a specific feeling that probably no one will ever be able to put in perfect words.

chan felt his eyes tearing up as so many memories flashed one after another, finding himself at loss of words from the insane mix of feelings.

she turned to him to ask for something, just to find him with his head down, coverig his own face with one hand, sobbing quietly. the feeling of rgret instantly filled her up, as she was still confused and scared, fearing bad things to happen. she was so afraid and ashamed that she could barely tell or show it to anyone at school. but she calms down as she hears his words noticeably filled with love:

- my baby... i love you so much. but do you know what's happening to you now? — chan got closer to his precious daughter to hold her face with his hands and stare deeply into her eyes.

- ah, n-no... it's nothing bad, right? everything is gonna be fine, right? — she asked, fear still clear on her eyes and voice.

- no, it's nothing bad. you're just growing up and this is completely normal for you. i'll grab you a cup of warm water, sit down and i'll tell you everything i know about it. but relax, you're fine, baby. — he calmed her down while trying to control his proud smile, and ended with a kiss on her forehead before leaving, taking a little longer as expected to get a bag of warm water as well.

sat down next to each other, she drank her water calmly as she listened to her dad. she always knew how understanding chan can be, but this sudden situation made every kind of thought come to her head to the point nothing from the outside world would get in or make sense to her. yet, each and every word that came out of him would tranquilize her more and more. he felt like heaven to her, and she couldn't feel any more safer and happier with her precious dad.

while she showered and changed, chan left to buy meds and chocolate, hoping it would make her feel at least a little bit better. he spent the next few hours taking care of her as much as possible - making hot chocolate for her, listening to everything she wanted to say, watching her favorite series with her, massaging her wherever it hurted, trying his best to make her feel as comfortable as possible.

- honey, i'm home! — you announced happily after a long and exausting day. work felt endless and you couldn't wait to eat a little bit and sleep a little more. you were about to say something more, until you found the loves of your life sleeping next to each other on your sofabed, a movie playing on the tv, mugs on the tables next to them - a cute, calm smile on your sleeping daughter's face.

you went to the kitchen to grab water and noticed a paper on the table, which said "don't be scared, she's growing up faster than we thought and had her period at school today. she's fine! sorry for not telling you earlier. love you!"

you watched them sleep a little bit more. it was the best view you could have - your incredible and beautiful family. the moment also made you tear up a little bit, but it didn't take long for you to hold it and lay with them. it was unfortunate that you couldn't take care of your daughter as well, but there was nothing to worry or feel upset about. you knew both you and your daughter would be safe and sound if you have bang chan - the best friend, husband, dad and person.

you two couldn't love him any more than this.