#anyway i don’t know why I haven’t seen both films yet nor do I know where the sudden interest for art the clown comes from

[bebx]

note to self: don’t go watch tiktok/youtube edits of characters you’re interested in whose movies/shows you plan on watching but haven’t done so yet unless you want to give yourself spoilers. like it should’ve been obvious enough helpppp

[smaidjor]

i know they're losing (Chapter 1)

hi mothers and fuckers of the jury, this fic is a hot mess but so am I, please appreciate it. Also, obligatory disclaimer this is about the characters not the people, all that important stuff.

Some important notes:

1. You will probably hate Scott just a little at points. He has chronic dumb bitch syndrome and there's a whole lot of bullshit going on in his life that you don't see in this fic because it's not his pov. That being said, he's still a bit of a jerk.

2. This has a lot of lord of the rings lore. A LOT. You may be kinda confused if you're not a lord of the rings fan. It's fine, Jimmy's confused too, and all of it will be explained at some point.

3. The chapter titles are from the Last Goodbye from the Hobbit films. The general title is from I Bet on Losing Dogs by Mitski.

4. General content warnings: there is a little blood, and a little violence, and a lot of mentioned death and morbid jokes. If you don't do well with themes involving death this fic is probably not for you. There is also possibly going to be referenced emotional abuse and generally unhealthy ways to raise children, though that will be talked about much further down the line. I will also put specific cws at the start of each chapter, don't worry!

5. The alternate title for this was '10k words of flower husbands being sad'. You have been warned.

Title: i know they're losing

Chapter Title: under clouds, beneath the stars

Current Total Wordcount: 3740

Content Warning: referenced/past character death, very frank discussion of death.

Snippet:

Scott whirls to face him, robes spinning behind him. “I’m fading, alright? I’m dying, now leave me alone!”

Jimmy feels like he’s been smacked in the face, the words hitting him with all the force of a well-thrown trident. Dying? “You- what- but elves don’t die, right?”

“We do. From poison, from swords, from arrows through the throat-” Jimmy’s hands fly to the scar on his neck, the one that matches Scott’s own- “from grief.”

AO3 Link

Actual fic under the cut

Scott’s hands are cold. That’s the first sign, the chill that’s uncharacteristic of an elf.

Scott’s chest hurts. That’s the second sign, the bone-deep ache he can’t seem to quell.

Scott is weaker than normal, and that’s the third sign, the one that confirms what’s happening beyond a shadow of a doubt. He’s fading, Scott thinks as he leans against a wall, trying to stop his head from spinning. He can’t say he’s surprised, not after all he’s been through; in fact, he’s more astonished it took so long to start.

-

In another world, it happens like this:

Scott’s hands are cold, and Shubble notices as he shows her around the nether. It’s worrying, a bit, how icy his skin is even in the boiling dimension, but Scott’s empire has always been cold, hasn’t it?

Katherine notices how long it’s been since Scott visited her, one of his few allies, and she worries, a bit. But Scott has always been distant, hasn’t he?

No one notices or worries enough to go check on him, and Scott fades away to nothing, cold and alone in his icy empire.

-

What actually happens is this:

Katherine has gotten word of the demon that haunts the server, and amongst all her worry, one of her thoughts is ‘has anyone checked on Scott?’. The answer is no, and next time she has a free day, she sets out for Rivendell. It’s not a long trip, not with elytra, anyways, and soon she’s at the doors to his keep.

“I need to see Lord Smajor,” she tells the guards.

“He’s not taking visitors right now.” is the response she gets.

“It’s a vital matter to the safety of both our kingdoms.”

They let her in.

Katherine spends far too long looking around the elegantly decorated downstairs and storage area before she realizes he must be up the spiral staircase in the corner of the room. She’s never been upstairs in Scott’s house before, which makes her a little nervous, but… this is an urgent matter, so she presses on into what turns out to be a very pretty bedroom. Decorated with bookshelves aplenty and gorgeous lanterns, it practically screams Scott.

The man (elf?) himself is harder to spot. At first, Katherine’s worried he isn’t there at all, but eventually she realizes that he’s still in bed despite the fact that it’s a quarter to one, only his pale face sticking out from under the covers.

“Scott?” She asks, cautious. “Lord Smajor?”

He blinks at her tiredly. “Hi, Katherine.”

“I came to talk to you about some empires stuff, but, I mean, if this is a bad time, I can come back later…?”

“No, no, stay.” He waves at the sole chair in the room, which is near-enough to the bed. “I can muster the energy for a meeting, just don’t ask me to get up.”

Katherine takes the seat hesitantly. “I came to talk about the corruption on the server, but- are you okay? Are you sick?”

Scott laughs, a little bitter. “In a way, yes.”

“What do you mean?”

“Take my hand.”

She obeys, confused, and finds that Scott’s hands are like ice despite the warmth of the room.

“Elves don’t get sick like mortals do,” Scott says. “Nor do we die of old age. But we get...heartsickness, you might call it. We call it fading in our tongue- the cold hands are a symptom of that. Our souls are fragile, and the grief of the mortal plane can be overwhelming. If an elf is too struck by it, they fade away and die.”

She gasps a little.

“It usually happens to old elves, world-weary,” Scott continues. “Those who are tired of existence. But any elf who has experienced enough grief is at risk.”

It takes Katherine a moment to process everything, and once she does, she stares at him in horror. “You’re- fading? But doesn’t it usually happen to old elves? Wait, are you old?”

“I’m fifty-five.”

“Is that old?”

That gets a laugh out of him. “Fifty is the elven equivalent of eighteen for humans, the age of maturity.”

“Oh.” She struggles for words for a moment, settling on “How can you be so calm if you’re dying?”

“I’m tired, Katherine. The world tore me away from the people I loved, and..I’m tired of fighting it.”

Try as she might, there’s nothing she can say to that. “Is there a way to reverse fading- to fix it?”

Something pained and raw flashes through his eyes. “Technically, yes. If an elf recovers enough emotionally, it’s reversible. But whatever caused them to fade the first time can- and often does- cause it again.”

Katherine nods seriously, absorbing the information. “We’ll just have to reverse it, then.”

“That’s sweet, Katherine, but I’m dying.”

“No,” she tells him firmly. “You’re not going to die. Now come on, you can show me your empire while I fill you in on what’s happening on the rest of the continent.”

Scott stares at her for a long moment, but eventually he takes her outstretched hand. “Alright.” His hand is frozen cold in hers. “We can try.”

Katherine lets him lead her around Rivendell, pointing out the sights. He’s done an impressive job decorating, like her, and an even more impressive job at uniting the elves and building an empire from the ground up. The people of Rivendell are weary and battle-scarred, for the most part, elves who have seen too much, but the children are bright and happy, and the cyan and gold banners wave proudly in the wind.

As they walk, she also tells Scott about the demon, Xornoth. “The demon’s already visited a lot of people, I think. Gem and Shubble for sure, and Fwhip and Sausage. That’s not even mentioning the corruption that’s been spreading.”

Scott nods. “There’s corruption in Rivendell too. Likely Xornoth’s work. And given that Jimmy still has Vilya- well, I haven’t been able to do much.”

“Vilya?”

“A ring of power. My inheritance from the Noldor.”

“Why does Jimmy have it?”

He doesn’t answer that one.

Katherine leaves feeling unsettled, with more questions than answers. She has new resolve, though, and a new goal: keep Scott from fading. He’s a good friend, though they don’t know each other that well yet, but more than that, he’s a powerful ally. And Katherine can’t afford to lose allies. So while they’re both rulers and busy in their own right, she promises to visit and drag him outside at least once a week.

“I’ll hold you to that,” Scott jokes, but his laugh is weak.

Katherine vows to hold herself to it.

-

The plan works for three entire weeks before Katherine has a week that’s so busy there’s no way she can find the time for a trip to Rivendell. Worse than that, because Scott is so isolated, he has almost no other friends, and many of Katherine’s allies are busy too. She’s a little short of options, to be honest, which is how she finds herself on Jimmy Solidarity’s doorstep that Sunday afternoon.

“Hello?” Jimmy asks as the door swings open. Katherine can see why Lizzie calls him the sweet swamp boy- his confused head tilt is frankly adorable.

“Hi! I know we don’t talk much, but I could use a favor,” she says.

“What can I do for you?”

“I need you to visit Scott.”

Jimmy looks beyond startled. “What- I mean, he doesn’t even like me! I couldn’t possibly.”

“Please?” She wheedles. “I promised him a visitor every week, but I have meetings all week this time.”

He shakes his head, hesitantly at first and then stronger. “No, Katherine. He’d just throw me right out again. I’m his enemy, for goodness sake!”

“If he hates you so much, why do you have his ring?”

Katherine knows she’s won, watching emotions flit across his face too quickly to catch. Grief is what he settles on, and she feels a little bit bad for the ring comment when his voice comes out wobbly.

“I guess I should return that, huh? Alright, I’ll go.”

“Sorry,” she says.

Jimmy brushes it off, saying there’s no need to worry, but he fiddles with the ring on his finger all the more. It’s on his left ring finger, Katherine notes. She wonders if that truly means what it implies.

“I’ll visit him tomorrow,” Jimmy says.

“I’ll hold you to that!”

-

Jimmy isn’t sure why he agreed to this at all, to be honest. Scott may have given him this ring in another world, another lifetime, but that doesn’t mean Scott doesn’t hate him in this one. What other explanation is there for how all his gifts have been rejected, how cold the elf is? Jimmy would be surprised that Scott’s never tried to take his ring back if it wasn’t for how thoroughly Scott avoids him nowadays. Getting the ring back would require talking to Jimmy, something Scott has made it very clear that he doesn’t want to do. Jimmy doesn’t have another use for it, and try as he might to forget flower fields and warm hands in his, he can’t bear to throw it away. So it’s remained on his hand all this time, a painful reminder of someone who used to love him.

Jimmy tries to avoid looking at it as much as possible, every glimpse bringing back the memory of Scott gently sliding it onto his hand, a faint blush dusting his cheeks and a smile on his lips. Even the faint shimmers in the blue gem remind him of how the starlight seemed to get caught in Scott’s hair when they were out at night. The ring had been one of their most valuable possessions on 3rd Life, the rare silver band and elegant forging more than proof of that. Now, though, the ring has to be one of the least valuable things Jimmy owns; on 3rd Life, they were humble folk in little hobbit holes, their most expensive possessions being their diamond armor and swords, but here, they’re kings and lords. Scott probably has a thousand treasures more valuable in his elven empire, so Jimmy’s not sure why he’s bothering to trek all the way across the world just to return this one.

Then again, it’s not really about the ring, and never has been. It’s about the way starlight used to shine in Scott’s eyes when he smiled, his rare, soft grin that was reserved just for Jimmy, how he gave Jimmy the most valuable thing either of them owned. It’s closure, in a way, giving it back. He won’t have any debt to Scott once this ring is returned, and they can both move on like Scott so clearly wants to.

Shaking off those thoughts, Jimmy slows to a stop in front of Scott’s house. It’s grand, nothing like his old hobbit hole, but still so clearly Scott in the decoration and color schemes. Jimmy would know who built it even if he hadn’t known Scott lived in these mountains.

“I’m here to visit Scott,” he says to the guard stationed outside.

They raise an eyebrow, presumably at the familiar way he refers to Scott. “On formal business or personal?”

“Personal? Sort of? I mean, I don’t have any diplomatic reason for being here.” Truth be told, he has no reason to be here at all, really, but...the ring.

“Then Lord Smajor cannot see you.”

Jimmy grits his teeth, suddenly furious at this whole ordeal. “Then tell Lord Smajor that I need to return his ring.”

“May I see it?”

He sticks his hand out obligingly, and the guard examines the ring, surprise blooming across their face. “I did not realize my Lord had lent you Vilya! My apologies, Lord Codfather, I see the alliance between our kingdoms is stronger than I had assumed. You may pass.”

Vilya? “Thank you, gentle, uh, gentleperson!”

The guard dips their head slightly as he walks by, a gesture of respect that he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to. He shakes off the strangeness of the interaction, though, pushing open the door to Scott’s house.

The inside is beautiful, exactly the kind of decor Scott loves...and empty. There’s no one in the spacious kitchen, the storage room, or anywhere else for that matter. Jimmy’s seconds from giving up and going home when he realizes that there are stairs up to the balcony above. That’s where he goes, finding himself in Scott’s bedroom.

Which is awkward, to say the least. It’s not like they never slept in the same room when they were married, but now that there’s this awkward, painful distance between them, Jimmy feels like he’s intruding. What’s worse is, Scott’s still in bed, laying on his side with his face tilted away from Jimmy’s awkward entrance.

“Hello, Jimmy.”

Jimmy half-jumps, not expecting that. “How’d you know it was me?”

Scott rolls over to face him, and Jimmy notes that his face is too pale for it to be natural or healthy. “Do you think I could ever forget the sound of your footsteps?” He goes on before Jimmy can answer. “What are you doing here?”

“Katherine asked me to visit, I’m not sure why, but...here I am. Say, why is she visiting every week?”

Scott’s laugh is bitter. “Katherine thinks she can save me.”

“Save you from what?” Jimmy asks, concerned despite himself.

His (ex?)husband doesn’t reply.

“Save you from what?” Jimmy presses, and gets no answer yet again.

Instead, Scott sits up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “You should go.” He stands, and immediately stumbles, Jimmy rushing to steady him on instinct. Scott’s hands are like ice when he grips Jimmy’s arm to regain his balance, taking several deep breaths, and Jimmy’s instantly struck by how wrong that feels. Scott’s hands were always warm, even on the coldest nights in 3rd life. Some elven thing, probably, that Scott didn’t want to talk about or have time to explain to a silly human like Jimmy.

“Scott, what is going on?”

The elf brushes him off again, heading for the stairs, but the regal effect is ruined by how hard he has to grip the railing.

“Scott, seriously! Answer me, are you okay? What’s happening?”

Scott whirls to face him, robes spinning behind him. “I’m fading, alright? I’m dying, now leave me alone!”

Jimmy feels like he’s been smacked in the face, the words hitting him with all the force of a well-thrown trident. Dying? “You- what- but elves don’t die, right?”

“We do. From poison, from swords, from arrows through the throat-” Jimmy’s hands fly to the scar on his neck, the one that matches Scott’s own- “from grief.” Scott turns back to the stairs. “Come on. If you’re not going to leave, I might as well show you around.”

Jimmy follows, reluctantly, trying to think of something to say that isn’t incoherent sputtering with a bit of ‘why do you hate me now’ added in. “You can’t just drop something like that on a man, you know!”

“You did ask, to be fair.”

Why oh why is he so stupid around Scott? “I guess so, but- but still, dude.”

Scott pushes open the side door, holding it for Jimmy. “Here.”

Jimmy nods and slips through the door.  “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

They start along the path, Scott walking far too quickly for Jimmy’s comfort given how terrible the elf’s balance is currently. He nearly has to jog to keep up, irritatingly, but at least they aren’t snapping at each other for a few precious moments.

Of course, Jimmy has to go and ruin that. “So, uh..are we going to talk about 3rd life?” He has to hear it from Scott’s own lips that he remembers, that it affected him even half as much as it’s affected Jimmy.

“No.”

“Why not? We need to talk about it some time-”

“I said no .”

“It’s literally killing you to not talk about it!”

Scott freezes, face going icy calm in the way Jimmy knows means he’s actually upset. The elf’s hands grip the fabric of his robes tight, his back going rigid. This is a bad idea, Jimmy knows.

He’s in too deep to back out now, though, the pent-up hurt of the past few months all coming out in a rush. “Tell me I’m wrong, Scott! I dare you, tell me I’m wrong! Tell me you never cared about me, tell me you didn’t bother to bury me, tell me it didn’t hurt even a little when I died! Tell me I was just stupid little Jimmy, a toy for an elf who’d live far beyond my lifespan! Tell me whatever, just tell me the truth! ”

Scott breathes out slowly, fury gradually building on his face. “Fine. You want to know what happened after you died? You want to hear about me screaming until my throat went raw? You want to know that I kissed your face and sobbed and begged you to wake up, over and over until I couldn’t speak at all? You want to live with the knowledge that Grian had to physically pull me away from your body? Is that what you want to hear, Jimmy ?”

Jimmy’s name on Scott’s lips punches all the remaining air out of him, sounding so wrong in that angry, bitter tone. Beneath all the rage, Scott sounds wrecked , and the fight leaves Jimmy’s body abruptly. “No,” he says softly. “That’s not what I want to hear, not at all. I’d rather you be happy than love me.”

Silence follows those words, only the faint sound of a waterfall in the distance there to break it.

“I buried you on the hill above our houses,” Scott says finally. “I planted a poppy over your grave.”

“Oh.”

“Grian came over the next day. I didn’t want to see anyone who wasn’t you, but I let him in because I had to. He helped me do the straps on my armor and asked me if he could do anything else to make things easier. I told him to bury me next to you.”

Jimmy swallows hard. “Did he?”

“How would I know?” Scott’s tone softens, just a little. “Grian was honorable enough, though, loyal to his allies. I like to think he did.”

“He was a good guy,” Jimmy agrees. “A little bit bloodthirsty, I guess, but good. I don’t suppose he survived any better than the rest of us, though maybe being bloodthirsty helped.”

“Maybe.”

“Can I- can I ask you why you hate me so much now? I mean, if you mourned me in third life and all.”

Scott turns away again, starting down the path a second time. He’s not looking at Jimmy when he says “I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t?” It’s a shock, honestly, given that this is the first time the two of them have really spoken since the beginning of empires. “But you burned the pufferfish-”

“I didn’t. I kept it.” Scott still won’t look at him. “I never hated you. I don’t think I’m capable of it.”

“Then why do you keep avoiding me?”

“I’ve been kind of busy dying,” Scott says dryly, and Jimmy doesn’t even realize it’s a joke until he looks over at Scott’s wry little grin.

“Scott! That’s not funny!” He scolds, aghast.

“It was a little funny.”

“No!”

Scott must hear the genuine distress in Jimmy’s voice because he drops the act. “Jimmy, I’m an elf. I won’t live far beyond you, but only because I’ll fade without you.”

“So your solution is to isolate yourself and fade now?” Jimmy demands.

“It does sound stupid when you put it like that, doesn’t it? But I lost you once, and I don’t think I could bear it again.”

Jimmy wants to argue, wants to fight him on this, but there’s nothing he can say. Instead, he puts a hand on Scott’s arm to stop him walking any further. Scott turns to look at him, seemingly startled, and Jimmy throws his arms around the elf.

Scott stiffens before slowly relaxing, arms coming up to wrap around Jimmy in return. It’s not as natural a gesture as it used to be, but it’s warm, gentle in a way Jimmy thought he’d never get again. It reminds him of the soft, starry-eyed boy who put flowers in his hair and laughed at him over a cake. Scott will never be that soft again and Jimmy will never be unscarred, but they’re here. They’re alive, that has to count for something.

Scott pulls back, his expression so achingly tender and heartbroken all at once. “I’m sorry, Jimmy.” His voice is raw, a little shaky. “I can’t. Not again.��

“But-”

He’s cut off by Scott shaking his head. “Losing you will destroy me. We dared to love, and now all we can do now is lessen the pain when it all comes crashing down.”

Jimmy’s in too much shock to speak, the ache in his heart returning tenfold as Scott turns back towards the house.

“Goodbye, Jimmy.” He sweeps away, elegant as ever, but stumbles and nearly falls as he reaches the door. Jimmy’s not there to catch him.

Jimmy stumbles home in a daze. It's somewhat of a miracle that no mob manages to kill him, honestly. To be so close to a resolution, to have the person he wanted most right there in his arms, and then to have all that ripped away- he can’t think of anything that could have hurt more. Even his deaths were less painful than this- at least an arrow through the throat is quicker than feeling like your heart is being ripped out through your ribs, Jimmy thinks, a little bitter. He throws Scott’s stupid ring in a pool in the swamp, watching as it sinks to the bottom of the shallow water with hardly a bubble.

Wait.

The ring.

It’s significant, somehow, according to a Rivendell guard, and more than that, it’s an excuse to see Scott again. One last chance to change his mind about the stupid plan that’s literally killing him.

Jimmy dives in without thinking, scrabbling around until his fingers close around the smooth stone and thin band. When he pulls it out, the gem glitters in the starlight even under the layers of dirt, and it looks like something special. It looks like hope.

[pinkhairedlily]

Chapter 8 - Student Council President Sakura

SCPS AO3 | PREVIOUS CHAPTER

“Oh, hello there Sakura.”

She almost lost her balance when she saw her next customers. Standing beside Kakashi with her arm entangled in his was a brunette, a spitting image of Dr. Aki Nohara, a giveaway that this was her sister. Sakura’s surroundings dimmed out of focus, and her hearing became muffled as if she was submerged underwater.

“Couldn’t mistake that green eyes for anyone,” Kakashi continued. “I’ll have a caramel butterscotch with extra whipped cream – make it super heavy – and Rin –“

“That’s supposed to be my order, you dummy,” the woman replied beside him. He chuckled in fascination and tightened his hold on her arm. “Besides, you don’t like sweets.”

“You’re still on a specialized diet so allow me to eat and drink whatever you want while you stick with – “ Kakashi glanced at Sakura, and she immediately mustered a tight-lipped smile. “One iced americano in your smallest size please. Thanks, Sakura.”

She took in a deep breath, suddenly aware that she wasn’t able to acknowledge her teacher and his companion, but so many things have been running through her head – like how did he know it was her? Why was he with Rin? Did he propose already? She hasn’t even confessed yet.

Somehow, in the dragging silence in her ears, she heard Sasuke cleared his throat. That was enough to break her from the spell, and she put on her bravest mask. “Hi Kakashi-sensei. Nice of you to drop by! I’ll have your order ready in a jiffy.”

Kakashi turned around and waved lazily at Sasuke. “One of my students is here too. Are you on a red eye advance study?”

“Can’t sleep so might as well have caffeine.”

“You’re too young to have this energy.”

Rin jokingly slapped Kakashi on the arm. “You talk as if you’re old already.”

“But aren’t I?” The pair slowly drifted away to find a table, but Sakura noticed the flash of recognition when Rin took a long good look at Sasuke, but her friend stared at them like he was throwing sharp draggers.

“He looks happy,” Sakura noted as she fixed their drinks.

“I want your favorite coffee,” Sasuke quipped out of nowhere.

“There’s a thing called palpitations. It’s caramel macchiato.”

“Might do me some good while I wait for you to finish your shift.”

Sakura sighed, feeling the tiredness come upon her all of a sudden so she relented. “Just take it to-go. I want to get out of here.”

She quickly asked permission from the manager, saying she felt sick and fatigued, and with her clocking overtime in the past few weeks, her request was immediately approved without deductions. The mixed winter and spring air hit her lungs as soon as she stepped outside. Sasuke waited for her across the street, a gesture that implied she could go to him or separate ways right now. As she vied for time to decide, she took one last look through the window.

It was a foreign sight. She has never seen Kakashi’s attention torn apart from his books. Even if he was talking, there would be an open page on his side, stealing glances on passages when the conversations got boring, yet there he was, fully attuned to whatever Rin was saying with no book around him…like she was his favorite book and he enjoyed reading every letter of her.

And Sakura realized she could never be the story he would even want to pick up.

She felt the tears coming so she started her pace on the same road. Across from her, Sasuke got the signal and went the other way.

--------------------------------

The last term of their second year came like a bazooka. Sakura threw herself on her pet project as a sort of coping mechanism. The announcement was done during the general assembly which did not generate the intended buzz or reaction. After all, it was a tricky topic to handle and many facets of which were still stigmatized when talked openly in public. Naruto, ever the people magnet, broke the agitated atmosphere in the auditorium with a slow clap and was soon joined by many others.

The council created a Google form which allowed students to anonymously register, and they get assigned a schedule on the day their contracted psychiatrist comes to visit. All they had to do was provide their designated client number. The council further complemented this with short programs that serve as mental health breaks for the student body. Sometimes, this would be as light as a block screening of a coming-of-age film or heavy like a conference with faculty and teachers and questions and concerns are remotely flashed.

Then came Valentines’ Day, and the council organized this some kind of literary showcase that presented the opportunity to mingle woes of personal sadness and griefs with confessions that would have been left unsaid. Naruto and Sasuke both helped in constructing the makeshift stage in the middle of the soccer field that would be used later that afternoon.

“Cookie points for my crush,” Naruto grinned as he hammered away. “Thanks for picking the poem I will be reciting tonight, grumpy. Didn’t know you were into literature.” He jokingly elbowed the raven-haired beside him, and he got a death glare in return.

“Do it properly. Look at that nail sticking out like your porcupine hair,” Sasuke grumbled. “And yes, I’m not as uncultured as you are.”

“But I still don’t understand it though.”

“Ugh, just use the internet to search its meaning, idiot.”

“Meanie!”

A fellow runner peeked into their work area and knocked on wood. “Hey Uchiha. Some girl is looking for you.” Her face expressed grimace, having done this for more than five times already within the span of an hour. If it wasn’t Sasuke, it was one of Naruto’s fan girls or boys.

Sasuke went to her and fumbled around for cash in his pocket. “Next time someone looks for us, tell them we went home for the day. Here’s money for your date later. If you have anyway.”

“Whatever grumpy.” The runner replied, still half-angry, half-frustrated, but she took the money all the same and told the girls that ‘They told me to tell you they went home for the day so shoo shoo.’

Naruto laughed at Sasuke’s successful attempt at bribery. “Look at that rich money. I wonder whether Sakura will give us chocolates.”

“Have you seen their office?” Sasuke flipped open the curtains that will be hang as backdrop. “Their desk is filled with chocolates from her admirers – platonically, romantically, whatever. Some people from other schools dropped by too. You got serious competition.”

Naruto chuckled nervously. “As if I do not know that already. Haven’t you told me before- she likes everyone and everyone likes her.”

Not really true at all now, Sasuke thought to himself. But ignorance is bliss, Naruto.

--------------------------------

The three sat on the grass beside the stage, having full view of the student body listening to the reciters. Throughout the program, Sakura went through each package given to her, visibly stressed with evident signs of sleepless nights under her eyes.

“Before I forget, happy Valentine’s day you two. My council-mates told me you didn’t get any chocolates,” Sakura gave each of them a pouch of small chocolate bars. Sasuke didn’t have to guess if it was store-bought or homemade based on the cuts on her fingers.

“Sakura, stop eating. I almost gagged at the seventh chocolate,” Naruto complained. He tried to get the basket of sweets from her, but she just moved it away from his reach.

“Everything tastes bitter,” she muttered under her breath. “I need sugar. My energy can’t keep up with the countless interviews. I understand that the school board liked the exposure, but the burden falls on me. At least have a teacher back me up?”

“Heard Kakashi-sensei volunteered to accompany you in interviews?” Sasuke was too late in shutting Naruto up, but the most that question got out of Sakura was an eyebrow raise.

“I need more sweets.” She proceeded to jam the rest of the Hershey’s kisses in her mouth.

“Okay, we have a submission from Uzumaki Naruto,” the announcer said. “Shout out to our rookie MVP!” A round of applause. “And who might be the recipient of this poem? We heard through the grapevine that he hid from his admirers all day. I know several people are waiting to confess to him!”

Sasuke instructed him earlier to send the poem anonymously and address it to Sakura, but the dumbass blonde mistakenly exchanged it. He rubbed his forehead in annoyance, but he can’t bring it up right now.

“Just read the poem!” Naruto shouted on the side, clearly embarrassed now. Sakura looked up at him, genuinely curious now, and her sticky chocolate-filled mouth was on the edge of firing him questions.

“Sasuke and I sent in poems! Just to support your program, nothing really too deep into it ehe.” Naruto glanced at Sasuke with slightly widened eyes. “Right, Sasuke?”

“Sonnet 18 by William Shakespeare,” the person started.

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day

Thou art more lovely and more temperate.

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And summer’s lease hath all too short a date.

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,

And often is his gold complexion dimmed;

And every fair from fair sometime declines,

By chance, or nature’s changing course, untrimmed;

But thy eternal summer shall not fade,

Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st,

Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,

When in eternal lines to Time thou grow'st.

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,

So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.”

Sakura slapped Naruto on the arm. “Didn’t know you read Shakespeare! What a romantic!”

“Isn’t it a tragedy?” Sasuke remarked, a look of disgust in his face when Sakura mindlessly offered him a toblerone. “No sweets for me.”

Sakura guffawed at Sasuke’s remark, and her laughing was a rare sight recently. She was in too deep in her student council functions that they barely see her. And when they did, she’d be a little bit closer to fatigue.

“What’s funny? Who’s Shakespeare? Let me in on the joke!”

“Let’s call on Kakashi-sensei, our very own student council advisor and youngest teacher in the university. He’ll be reciting a poem by Pablo Neruda. A man of culture, we see,” the emcee announced.

Sakura stopped laughing as soon as she heard his name. If Sasuke could glean into her thoughts, she’s probably making up excuses to escape right now.

Kakashi stood in the middle of the stage, holding an open book. “Let me just ramble on here for a bit. Neruda is a Chilean poet and a politician, but just as much as he is a revolutionary, he is a romantic and a worshipper of ideals and ordinary things. He often compared his muses to earth and nature – basic providers of our existence. It’s interesting to see. Now, this poem is what I would have wanted to say to someone who is fundamentally part of my existence, but she won’t listen to me.” Kakashi smiled even more at the onset of outburst of giggles from the students. “So you’re gonna be the audience whether you want it or not.”

I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.

Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.

Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day

I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.

I hunger for your sleek laugh,

your hands the color of a savage harvest,

hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,

I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,

the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,

I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,

hunting for you, for your hot heart,

like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.

A thundering applause followed Kakashi’s poem and random shouts of, “Drop her name sensei!” “Good luck to your love life!” “Happy for you, sensei!”

As the lights went out on the stage, Sakura fished another pouch from her vest pocket, and Sasuke knew at once that it was Kakashi’s. She popped a bar into her mouth, staring blankly ahead.

“God, it’s so bitter.” Her lips started to quiver, and she started to cry.

Naruto threw a worried glance at Sasuke, but his expression must have given something away because the blonde didn’t prod, and he looked as if all the puzzles fell into place.

Sasuke just didn’t expect to be confronted about it as soon as the program finished. He was carrying blocks of wood to the shed when Naruto dropped the question – a question he already knew the answer to.

“You like Sakura.”

Sasuke inhaled sharply and halted his steps. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He stacked the wood against each other and turned to face the blonde. “Besides, shouldn’t you be worrying about exams?”

“What exams? We’re exempted from it,” Naruto bristled.

Sasuke smirked. “No, you’re not. You didn’t qualify for finals.”

“Oh shit.”

--------------------------------

“What do we get in return?” Sakura asked as she munched on her bento box. Shouts of the practicing dragonboat team filtered through their space.

“But last time you volunteered!” Naruto said.

“We’re friends so my services don’t come free anymore,” she chided back.

Naruto glared at Sasuke. “If she’s not gonna do it, you’re gonna do it.”

Sasuke nonchalantly shook his head as he skimmed through Naruto’s notes. “What she said.” They weren’t notes per se, but doodles of Sasuke and Sakura and interestingly, projections of different batting stances. “I’m also not gonna forgive you with the duck butt hair.”

“But you have a duck butt hair!” Naruto crossed his arms and huffed menacingly. “Ramen?”

“Same old, same old.” Sakura finished her lunch and started to sip her cranberry juice. “Give us something new.”

“Ramen and…..karaoke?”

Sakura brightened up at the prospect. “Deal.”

“At least add snacks to your place,” Sasuke interjected. “And not just ramen. Put some nuts or fruits in your fridge.”

Naruto grumbled but raised two thumbs up in defeat. “Deal.”

--------------------------------

Sasuke has thin patience when it came to teaching Naruto, Sakura observed. She didn’t know how these two managed to do the supplementary math lessons when she wasn’t a part of their group yet. She didn’t mind teaching, but Naruto’s short attention span was a devil of its own. He would be attentive to her for 15 minutes and then drowse off so Sasuke and her agreed on non-negotiables.

“No ramen break for you if you don’t finish this set of problems,” Sakura told him.

“You’re demon spawns,” Naruto cried out in defiance.

“If you don’t get a passing score on this sample test, no kani toppings for you.” Sasuke raised the stakes.

“Demon spawns,” Naruto repeated.

“You won’t call us demon spawns if you see your name on the list of passers.” Sakura started the stopwatch on her phone. “Now go.”

This took her mind off things, from Kakashi’s public confession to the blank career form hidden within the pages of her history textbook. It was a good distraction until the penultimate exams day. Naruto came in with a bandana on his forehead with FIGHTING written in the middle of it. Sasuke, as usual, breezed through it, already finished by the thirty-minute mark.

And she? Well, she liked exams. The time limit and the pressure allowed her the reprieve to shut the rest of the world out so she relished answering each number until the bell rang. It was a moment where she can focus fully on the paper in front of her, the sound of her pen scribbling, and her mind working full force to cull out the answers in her memory. Her utmost concentration on questions suspended her own questions on her feelings for a teacher, on her parents’ divorce, on her future.

When the school plastered the results on the bulletin board, she couldn’t help but release a satisfied chuckle. She turned to Sasuke who was surprisingly stoic about the results. “First place! The bonus point really helped.”

“Why should I bother with a teacher’s middle name for the bonus question?” Sasuke grumbled back. “Congrats. Stop rubbing it in my face already.”

Naruto was too busy pointing his name on the board and bragging about it to the student body, most especially the freshies. When he found them on the back of the crowd, he rushed to them and placed his arms around their shoulders “Drinks on me!!!!!”

--------------------------------

“He really shouted drinks on me in the middle of the school, sauntered in here like he’s loaded, and ordered two pitchers of iced tea.” Sakura kept bringing this up since they entered the karaoke room ten minutes ago.

Naruto was preoccupied with inputting song numbers on the machine to respond to Sakura’s banters. “Technically, they’re still drinks!”

Sasuke was on the phone with the kitchen, and from what she could hear, he was ordering almost everything on the menu. When he sat down on the adjacent couch, Sakura leaned forward to him. “Are you gonna finish all of that?”

He jutted his index finger to Naruto. “No, but he will.”

The first notes of Michael Jackson’s Thriller wafted through the room, and the blonde made a quick impression of the artist’s famed moonwalk.

“Why are you opening with that?” Sakura cried out in amusement. “It’s not even Halloween!” Sasuke watched Naruto try to dance with a straight face, but she thought he was itching to face palm the whole time.

Naruto kept beckoning Sakura to join him in the middle of the room, but she was busy laughing at him and taking videos. “I’ll send these to Haru as a pick-me-up. I think this is the best remedy.”

Next was Sakura’s pick – Heaven is a Place on Earth by Belinda Carlisle. She couldn’t contain her laughter in between verses when the two boys finally heard that she was tone deaf. Naruto joined her with the other mic, trying to drown out the off-key notes. By the bridge, Sasuke stood up with them, a glass of juice in his hand, and mouthed the words.

“You know this song!” Sakura said excitedly.

“I don’t live under a rock!” He yelled back amid the loud music.

“OOOH BABY DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT’S WORTH OOH HEAVEN IS A PLACE ON EARTH. THEY SAY IN HEAVEN, LOVE COMES FIRST. OOH HEAVEN IS A PLACE ON EARTH!”

“Okay who’s next?” she asked when the next number flashed on the screen. Sasuke silently took the mic from her and faced the monitor with a hand in his pants’ pocket.

Naruto gripped the mic harder when the song started. “I’ll be your second voice, grumpy!”

She immediately went to the front and started recording. “One for the road.”

“No videos, Haruno,” Sasuke warned.

“Come on, it’s my remembrance,” she whined. He wasn’t able to clap back when the lines started to move.

“Turn around…” Naruto sang.

“Every now and then, I get a little bit lonely and you’re never coming ‘round,” Sasuke’s baritone voice filled the room like an empty coliseum.

“The fuck. You can sing?” Sakura gasped out loud. “How can you have that voice and not sing - like you know, every day?!”’

Sasuke gestured her to stop as he belted, stoic-faced, through the chorus with Naruto singing like a slaughtered pig in the background. Sakura stopped recording and joined them for the rest of the song.

Two hours and three pitchers of orange juice later, they finally settled on the couch and munched on Naruto’s leftovers of fries, buttered chicken, nachos, and calamari. On the karaoke monitor was David Bowie singing Heroes.

“Can’t believe we’re already seniors two months from now.” He stared at the ceiling, his eyes following the tag game of disco lights. “Elections of officers will be tomorrow which means Captain Haru will be formerly stepping down.”

Sasuke reached out and shook his hand. “Good luck next captain.”

Naruto immediately pulled out from his grasp. “What do you mean next captain?”

Sakura chuckled and patted his back as assurance. “Everyone knows it’ll be you. Have you seen how your teammates look at you when you’re discussing strategies?”

In the dimness of the room, she saw the flush on Naruto’s cheeks, and she found it amusing how he cannot take compliments.

Naruto scratched the back of his head. “Well, everything is possible, right? That said, I still haven’t filled out my college form, but I’m really set on getting an athletic scholarship and eventually be part of the national team! How about you grumpy? Changed your mind yet?”

“About what?” Sakura glanced at the silent raven-haired guy beside her. To be able to see this much of him was a nice privilege.

“I’m moving away after high school.” Sasuke fiddled with his half-empty glass, his eyes trained on the slushing juice. “I already sent applications to some universities in Europe.”

“We also have good medicine programs here. I don’t get why you have to move away so far. I’m so bad with converting time zones.”

Sasuke scrunched his nose in annoyance. “Are you dumb? The schools you listed are also out of this district.”

She seemed to be moving farther and farther from their exchange. Like an outsider peeking in, she understood the frailty of the moments in front of her, and by the time the next two months set in, the stopwatch would have started running its last lap. The bonds she has made so serendipitously were in danger of being cut off by dreams. She breathed in, engulfing the noise and scent of this room, panning every color and shape assembled like supercut in her head, praying that someday if she would lose herself, she’d come back here right at this frozen memory and relive the wonderful indecisiveness of adolescence and the chance to say I don’t know without repercussions.

“Sakura to earth?” Naruto’s voice.

“Idiot. It’s earth to Sakura.” Sasuke’s voice.

She blinked fast, returning to the moment that wasn’t finished playing out yet. She quickly brushed her hands on her eyes as if something got into her eyes, hoping they don’t see the small droplets of tears that have formed. “Oh uh, I have a list of prospects, but I’m not quite sure what to take.” The form was still blank actually.

“That’s a usual problem of anyone who’s too good at everything,” Sasuke replied.

“Are you complimenting me?” I wish I was.

“Should I take it back?” He proceeded to gulp down the remnants of his glass.

The monitor suddenly turned off, indicating their time has run out. “Hey guys, for our last term, let’s make the most out of it, all right?” Naruto asked. “I’m so happy we became friends.”

“No hugging please,” Sasuke said, but it was too late. Naruto’s arms were too strong to pull away from so the two allowed him a few seconds of skinship.

Naruto’s words struck a chord in Sakura; it was a resolve she tried to form and disfigure for several months now. Before they could stand up to fix their things, Sakura blurted it out loud before her courage took the best of her.

“For our last term.” She flexed her fingers and curled them up against her palm, placing weight on her lap as she ground her fists onto it. “For our last term, I’m gonna confess to Kakashi.”

AO3 LINK | NEXT CHAPTER | CHAPTER 9

[opbackgrounds]

so I was doing some research after watching movie 6...

...and apparently it was originally written as a comedy

Yeah, I was surprised, too

Baron Omatsuri is not my favorite One Piece movie—Film Z has too many of my favorite tropes to be usurped from that position—but I do think it is the most daring. Of all the supplemental material I’ve seen and read, it feels the least...One Piece-ish. 

Yes, that includes the noodle commercials. 

If you haven’t seen the movie and can stomach a little spookiness, do yourself a favor and give it a watch. Unlike movies like Strong World or Z that have the look and feel of a manga arc, Movie 6 transplants the Straw Hat Pirates into a world that doesn’t feel like a One Piece story, taking risks and exploring themes that would never fit in the manga proper. 

In addition to the obvious changes in art and animation style, there are supernatural elements that don’t make sense within the One Piece world. None of the Straw Hats win a fight—Luffy included, although he is heavily implied to have killed the big bad at the end. The moral of the movie, if it can be said to have a moral, is if you lose the people closest to you, the answer is to forget about them and make new friends. The story ends with many questions left unanswered and the main drama between the crew unresolved.

And, if you allow me to get philosophical for a moment, I wish there were more movies like it. As I wrote in my review of Novel A, I don’t go to supplemental material or side stories looking for a repeat of what’s in the manga. Oda has written 1000 chapters of One Piece—why not spice things up a little and try something different for a change?

I know the answer isn’t that simple, and by their very nature not all risks will pan out. There will be people who don’t like this movie because it’s different, both in look and tone. But there’s something to be said about a creator putting their heart and soul into a work and having it show in the final product. 

Which brings us back to the original premise. How does a movie go from a light-hearted comedy based on a variety show theme to...this

Baron Omatsuri was directed by Mamoru Hosoda and came out in 2005. To put that into perspective, the movie was in production when the Luffy vs Usopp fight was first seen in the manga. Manga!Luffy had not yet faced the challenge of an inter-crew disputes when the story was being written and boarded, nor did the creative team have the events of Sabaody and Marineford to see how Luffy would react to the loss of his loved ones. They were working without a full understanding of Luffy’s character, and to a lessor extent the character of the Straw Hat Pirates, and it seems like Oda was much less involved In production than has been in movies since Strong World and beyond. 

Likewise, Hosoda had just left a tumultuous situation at Studio Ghibli while working on Howl’s Moving Castle, and if this interview is anything to go by (https://instrangeaeonsblog.wordpress.com/2016/04/24/mamoru-hosoda-on-omatsuri-danshaku-animestyle-interview-part-1/) was going through a lot of personal shit when he was brought on as director. The script he was given was originally written like a variety show—something that was carried over into the various trials seen in the final movie—and meant to be a lighthearted affair after the relatively serious Movie 5 (which I have not seen am thus unable to compare tone). 

With that backstory in mind, it’s easy to see how the bickering and backbiting between the Straw Hats early in the movie is a metaphor for Hosoda’s time at Ghibli, which is something he admits to in the interview. Movie 6 feels different than any other One Piece movie because it’s the project of a man who has had to endure the loss of those who he was close with, at least in a professional capacity. 

There are moments in Movie 6 where Luffy doesn’t feel like Luffy. More than once a member of the Straw Hats ask him to intervene during arguments, moments Luffy either ignores or doesn’t notice. It’s a version of Water 7 where instead of fighting Usopp, Luffy ignores the underlying differences within his crew, and as a result loses everybody. 

The structure of the three trials follows a clear path of deterioration within the crew, the initial goldfish scooping game showing the Straw Hats at their best and inciting the jealousy of the Baron, the ring toss sowing discord among the crew even as they snatch a narrow victory, only for them to be utterly crushed in the third and final challenge as they’re unable help one another survive. 

It is somewhat implied that the Breaking of the Fellowship(TM) is magical in nature—that like the One Ring, the Lily Carnation was able to influence the Straw Hat’s thoughts and actions, but this is never stated outright and I prefer the more mundane interpretation: That without strong leadership the Straw Hats fell victim to the manipulative machinations of the Baron, and simply self-destructed as a result.  In the end, it’s up to the interpretation of the viewer. 

And speaking of things up to interpretation, I love how the Lily Carnation isn’t explained in the slightest. The plant that initially absorbs the Straw Hats looks more like the stem of a devil fruit than a flower, it for some reason rings like a gong when hit, and somehow is able to turn pieces of itself into facsimile of the Baron’s old crew who can somehow move around despite being plans. It’s weird, it’s wonderful, and the element of the unknown works so well in the horror-lite setting. 

My personal theory is the island somehow managed to eat a devil fruit which manifests itself as the Lily Carnation (which due to the L/R conflation in Japanese, is pronounced ‘reincarnation’, which I think is a nice touch of foreshadowing that may or may not have been intentional).

(Also, I can’t decide if little chewing animation it makes when it’s eating people or the weird bullseyes it makes when shit gets real are the most terrifying thing in the movie.)

Hmmm, tasty.

Anyway, this is getting long, so here are some final thoughts:

1) This movie has some low key fantastic outfits. The Straw Hats all look very cool without being over designed like a lot of recent movies. Big hat Robin is of course a fave, and makes me really want to see her in a Carmen Sandiego getup.

2) Screenshots do not do the animation of the movie justice. It’s very fluid and has a lot of excellent expressions/poses, although I admit the 3D is jarring at times. Do not let the art put you off if you haven’t seen it 

3) Also, I don’t think there’s any shading? Like at all? The movie does a lot of cool stuff with color instead. For example, the scene where Luffy initially loses to the Baron his skin goes all grey, and I thought it was because he was fighting at night, but it stays grey even in the better lighting of the underground tunnels and stays that way until he finds out the Straw Hats are still alive, where it returns to his normal color

4) There’s an extended Benny Hill-type gag when Luffy first chases after the little mustache pirate that’s perfectly timed to the music, and ends when Luffy just uses his power to grab him. The comedic timing is amazing and it’s probably my favorite funny moment in the movie, of which there are several despite the overall darker tone

5) The extended jungle shot from Nami’s POV? Very cool

6) I love how from the earliest scenes nothing is as it seems. The opening text is Robin reading the map, but the storm that’s seen on screen is the one that sank the Baron’s crew. Likewise the whole fancy city is shown to be fake panels early on, the goldfish catching game is a trap, etc., etc. It does a good job clueing the viewer in early that’s something’s very wrong on the island, even if they don’t realize it at first

7) I don’t think this type of movie would work in modern One Piece without somehow nerfing Luffy. Horror works best when the protagonist is weak and vulnerable, and that fits best with a pre-Gear 2/3 Luffy (same with the rest of the crew, tbh. I was waiting for Nami to use her lightning stick during the games, forgetting it hadn’t been boosted yet). 

8) I like how there are four captains on the island representing different levels of loss—the Baron has lost his crew and wants to destroy all others because of it, mustache pirate lost his crew and is willing to put it behind him to make new friends, Luffy has freshly lost his crew and hasn’t decided what path he will go, and coward dad hasn’t lost his crew yet but is at risk if he doesn’t change his cowardly ways

9) I think the reason why Chopper was the first Straw Hat to disappear is he’s the most likely to play the part of peacemaker. He’s also the only crew member needing rescuing at the end of the goldfish scoop game, when Luffy foolishly puts his life at risk trying to save him from drowning, just like he recklessly charges the Baron at the end of the movie. Except that time there was no Sanji to save him, leaving Luffy to get his ass thoroughly kicked

10) This is a very good Halloween movie, and I’m glad I watched it in October

[shenglingyuan]

title: the second chance we didn't ask for (ao3) pairing: gojo satoru/geto suguru both satoru and suguru are free from the prisons that bound them, but returning to life is another matter entirely.

The Zen’in estate boasts of its wide space and multiple residences, a feature Satoru is able to take advantage of. After being released from the Prison Realm with a death sentence hanging over his head, there really isn’t anywhere he can go. Suguru’s case is worse, of course, this death sentence is his second one. He might have been able to take back control of his body, but it doesn’t erase the crimes he and that ancient sorcerer did while residing inside him.

If it was up to Satoru, he wouldn’t drag Megumi into this any further. The boy — now the undisputed leader of the prominent Zen’in Clan — insisted, owing it to the fact that Satoru kept him and his sister under his care when they had no place to go to.

“Sorry for troubling you, Clan Leader Zen’in.”

“Please, Gojo-sensei, you should be the last person calling me that. Besides, I’m an accomplice anyway.” With the passing of the years came Megumi’s mastery of the Ten Shadows Technique, granting Satoru this freedom. “The last place they’d look for is their own backyard, won’t they?”

“That’s smart. Your teacher must be really great.”

Megumi ignores his lousy attempt at a façade and jabs directly at the issue at hand, “How is he?”

For a moment, Satoru’s shoulders seem to drop, but he immediately straightens up, as if that moment of small weakness was but an illusion.

“I don’t know, but I’m working on it. No worries, he’s no threat with me around.”

“I’m not worried about him.”

Time didn’t pass for Satoru inside the Prison Realm, but the world has moved on without waiting for him. He looks at Megumi without having to lower his gaze, smiles genuinely, and reaches out to ruffle the boy’s hair, “So responsible already. Don’t worry about me, either. I can handle this.”

-

Though the Zen’in estate is big, Satoru and Suguru had to reside in one of its smaller, unused quarters, leaving them with a small space with the living room, the kitchen, the dining room, and the bedroom altogether. At least, the bathroom was a separate structure on its own, albeit it’s not big enough for comfort. Satoru thinks this is still better than none, besides, with this arrangement, he can keep an eye on Suguru all the time.

Suguru isn’t too keen on the fact that he’s being guarded, but it’s not like he can put up a fight either way. That ancient sorcerer’s plan released all the curses he had so far collected and left him with very basic ones. He did try to resist before, almost at the cost of their small quarters, but without his previous arsenal, he isn’t much of a match for Satoru.

“Keeping me here is pointless.”

It was the first conversational sentence Suguru drops several days after they have settled in the Zen’in estate, spoken over a lukewarm cup of black coffee. The television blares unintelligibly on the corner, its volume never loud enough to be heard beyond the walls of their small room.

Satoru looks up from his own cup, just having dropped the fourth cube of sugar in it.

“The world is after my head,” Suguru adds.

“They are after me, too, don’t think you’re so special.”

“You’re a vital member of the Gojo clan… No matter how the higher-ups seem to hate you, if you just bring my head to them, they’ll have to forgive your previous offenses. There’s no use in keeping me here, I’m a criminal.”

“I need no forgiveness. Not from them.”

Suguru ignores the implication. “Just kill me already.”

“Death is not the only path. You’re just being a coward, Suguru.”

“What? Do you want me to spend this second life repenting for all the lives I took? I still don’t care about them, Satoru.”

“Repentance? Both of us…we’re beyond that. You’ve killed people. I’ve brought people to their deaths. There’s already too much blood in our hands.”

“Then should we die together?” Suguru smiles — it is anything but sincere. Satoru has almost forgotten what his real smile looks like.

Satoru drops another cube of sugar. “We will, but not anytime soon.”

-

Satoru sleeps next to Suguru, not because he hopes to form some intimacy through contact, nor to make sure he will not run away in the middle of the night, but because there are times where terrors unseen haunt Suguru’s slumber, Satoru would need to hold him down lest he ends up hurting himself. He used to keep the distance as well, sleeping on the couch, but after one close call, Satoru didn’t want to take another chance.

It was also during these moments where Suguru’s walls are at their lowest, and they could have a semblance of a proper and civil conversation.

“What is it this time?” Satoru asks, almost an involuntary response at this point, his hand already smoothing Suguru’s hair, rubbing circles down his back.

“He’s trying to creep in again.” His voice is hoarse, low, almost inaudible, as if in fear that when he speaks loud enough, the nightmare will turn into reality. “He says…this brain is his…and he can return anytime he wants…”

When Suguru is like this, Satoru can hold him close without being pushed away, and so Satoru does, wrapping Suguru tightly between his arms.

“You’re stronger than him, you took over him. That bastard won’t own you again.”

“If I die, it’ll finally be over.”

“You won’t die. Not on my watch.”

-

With the small space and bare minimum mode of entertainment, Satoru resorts to watching movies with Suguru to pass the time.

Well, to call it ‘watching with’ is too much of a stretch.

“What do you want to watch today?” Satoru asks, as usual.

Suguru doesn’t respond, as usual too, remaining seated on the corner of the bed, always seemingly creating as much physical distance he could between the two of them. Whatever closeness they would have during Suguru’s nightmares dissipates as if it never existed in the first place.

Satoru eventually gives up with a sigh, picking a 2008 horror movie from the selection this time.

“I’m guessing you haven’t seen this yet.”

He loads the disc onto the player, then settles himself on the end of the small couch. It’s some sort of an unspoken invitation, one that Suguru never entertains.

The film plays, the film ends.

It’s a daily cycle.

-

Every now and then, Megumi drops by personally, providing them with their daily necessities. In this situation, his Ten Shadow Techniques are particularly useful for hiding the things he brings them, only pulling it out once he is within the four walls of the small quarters. They can’t be too careless, after all. Whenever Megumi arrives, Satoru takes it upon himself to do the cooking and even sets aside a portion for Megumi himself.

“How is it outside?”

“Curses are still running rampant,” Megumi says, his tone as if still a student reporting to his teacher. Nevertheless, his bearing has become more and more that of a clan leader, “There’s quite a lot, so it will really take some time.”

The responsible person is quietly laying down the bed — whether he is truly asleep or just pretending, Satoru just lets him be. The sizzle of the oil as he pours the ingredients onto the pan fills in the momentary silence.

“And how is being a clan leader?”

“I think I can understand why the late elder Naobito was drinking all the time.”

“Haha, now don’t go picking up his habit. You’ve got a former clan head before you here, just ask for my help if you need it.”

“I feel like Kamo-san would know more about being a clan head than you.”

“Was never one to deal with family politics anyway.”

“Don’t worry about the affairs of the Gojo family. Okkotsu-san is making sure your family won’t lose its place.”

“I knew I could always rely on the new generation.”

“But Gojo-sensei, many of us still do rely on you.”

“A habit that must be changed.” Satoru turns off the stove and transfers the food onto the prepared bowl. “It’s for this very reason the incident at Shibuya became possible.”

His eyes wander to Suguru’s figure then, and he notices how tense the other man’s shoulders are. In fact, they really haven’t talked much about that time. The ancient sorcerer knew of Satoru’s weakness; Satoru wonders if Suguru himself came to realize it.

“No, I mean...,” Megumi seems to want to say something else, but in the end, he just sighs in defeat, “Never mind.”

“Don’t be thinking too much. Here, have this,” Satoru gives him a bowl of the freshly cooked stir fry, “Added some extra ginger especially for you.”

He takes another look at Suguru —— he doesn’t seem to be planning in joining them. In the end, Satoru decides to eat dinner with Megumi. It’s only when Megumi bid his farewell and left the room did Suguru finally move, only catching a glimpse of his retreating figure.

“Your dinner’s ready,” Satoru tells him, “It’s still a bit warm.”

Suguru stays seated on the bed, his eyes still at the door. “Megumi, that kid, he looks oddly familiar.”

“Remember Zen’in Toji?” A frown forms on Suguru’s forehead, his lips pursing rather unhappily. Satoru immediately quips, “Well, Megumi’s his son. Megumi didn’t know anything about his father’s shady business, and they were left without parents, too, so I took him under my care.”

“He seems to be quite dependent on you.”

“Is he? That kid hates asking me for help.”

“When he said many of them still rely on you, he was probably referring to himself. I know that tone.”

“From where? The two kids you had with you?”

Suguru suddenly stops responding. It’s apparent that the topic of the two girls is something he didn’t want to talk about. Though Suguru never told him about what happened, Satoru has been able to connect the dots from the first report of Suguru’s crime to the time he showed up in Jujutsu Tech to declare war.

But still, he wished that Suguru can tell it to him in his own words. There’s so much that happened in the last decade, cleaving an immeasurable distance in the space between them — an emptiness about the people and things and circumstances that shaped them to be the people that they are now.

“It’s funny though,” Satoru tests the waters, trying to fill the gap starting from his own side, “Back then, we said we’d run away together with Amanai if she wanted to. We failed on that part, but—”

“We still ended up babysitting,” Suguru continues for him, the tension on his shoulders replaced by a sudden weight, “I guess Riko-chan got the best deal out of that incident.”

“The girls—”

“I’m not hungry.” Suguru cuts him off immediately, lays back on the bed, and turns around, covering himself with a blanket. He obviously didn’t want to talk about his own share of babysitting, so Satoru lets the conversation go.

For now, Satoru bottles his many questions —

Why did you run away?

Why didn’t you force me to come with you?

Why didn’t you tell me all the things that have bothered you?

Why did you suffer with your thoughts in silence?

If I tried a little harder, would you have come with me?

There are so many things to talk about, many things that can’t be talked about. Patience is one of Satoru’s virtues, and when it comes to Suguru, it becomes the greatest.

-

Many times, he catches Suguru staring at his own reflection in the mirror…no, not at his reflection, but the wound lining his forehead. Satoru isn’t as skilled as Shoko in terms of healing others — the skull is intact, the wound is gone, but the scar remains, a reminder to them both every single day.

“Does it bother you?” he asks.

It takes a while before Suguru replies. “A bit.”

“A full bangs will hide the scars.”

A small smile starts to form on the edges of Suguru’s lips, but it disappears in a flash, replaced by a melancholy look on his face, “Mimiko and Nanako would have loved to see that.”

“Are those…their names?”

“…Yes.”

The girls he saved and raised throughout these years, to whom he exchanged his status as a sorcerer to be a curse user, just so he can provide them a better life. After all that’s happened, their place is still big in his heart. Not a single ash could be recovered in the ruins left by Sukuna, and so Suguru mourns with only the memories the girls have left him, memories his body was able to keep despite death.

Later in bed, Suguru weeps quietly. Satoru holds him. In between them, there is silence.

-

Satoru loads a 2009 suspense thriller this time, one that he himself hasn’t had the chance to watch yet for some reason. With a bowl of popcorn in tow, he settles himself at the end of the couch.

The film starts.

Just as the title appears, he feels the couch shift.

Satoru holds his breath, turns to look —— Suguru sits next to him, his legs already crossed comfortably.

“Mind if I watch with you?” he asks.

Satoru smiles, offering him the bowl, “Not at all.”

The film plays. The film ends.

And by the time it does, Suguru’s head is already resting Satoru’s shoulder, and Satoru’s head on Suguru’s. The positions are so familiar even though it has been over ten years since they were last together like this. The credits roll and neither of them moves.

“It sucked.” Suguru is the first one to speak.

“Sure did,” Satoru lets out a laugh, “Want to watch another one?”

“Let me pick this time.”

“Your call.”

-

“Satoru.”

Suguru calls out his name in the dark, certain that he is still awake. Satoru turns. In the dim light, he finds Suguru staring up at the ceiling, seemingly lost in thought. His nightmares have been recurring less and less, and at times they can go a whole night with a peaceful rest.

“Can’t sleep again?”

“No, I wanted to ask you something —— Why didn’t you chase after me?”

Memories of Shinjuku are still vivid in Satoru’s mind, especially the view of Suguru’s back getting further and further away from him, his own outstretched fingers curling into a fist. Looking back at all his years, it’s the only time he has ever felt so helpless. Shibuya can’t even compare.

“You didn’t seem to be the type to be swayed if I held you back.”

“And after that? You’re a jujutsu sorcerer. You have the responsibility to clean up curse users like me. Why didn’t you chase after me?”

“I didn’t want to be the one who kills you.”

Suguru turns to face him then, his expression solemn, “Yet you did.”

Satoru can’t help but reach out, running a hand over Suguru’s left arm. If there’s one thing he’d give that ancient sorcerer credit for, he fixed up Suguru quite well. “It was beyond me already. You declared war. I was under orders.”

Suguru doesn’t shy away from the touch, but neither does he reciprocate. “And what about now?”

“You and I are both fugitives. No need to follow some stupid higher-ups.”

“Freedom?”

“As free as we can be in this small quarters, yes.”

Ironic as it is, what Satoru just said was true. Step out and their tails will be chased by jujutsu sorcerers, stay in and they can maintain this pretense of liberty. In any case, it can’t be worse than staying inside the Prison Realm or being controlled by some ancient being.

“Back in Shibuya, many people died.”

“Trying to make me feel guilty?”

“Not at all. I just wanted to ask what you think of it now.”

Satoru ponders for a while, then with a sigh he says, “Can’t be helped. It’s regrettable, but it’s not like I’m a god. That brain knew me too well —— Do you still hate them? Non-sorcerers?”

“I don’t know. It used to be my fuel, but I’ve spent it all. Now I’m just…drifting.”

“Drifting isn’t bad. We can drift together over this sea of blood beneath us.”

A small laugh escapes Suguru’s lips. “Satoru, you really are so foolish. Because of me, you got sealed. Because of me, there’s a death penalty over your head. Why do you even still stay with me?”

What value does one Geto Suguru hold that the great Gojo Satoru can turn his back on the world just to be by this person’s side? Shouldn’t have it been obvious by now? Satoru can’t put all his heart’s contents into words, and so he reaches for Suguru’s hand instead and places a soft kiss on his palm.

“I’ve let you go twice,” he whispers, his breath warming Suguru’s cold hands, “and they both turned out to be very bad decisions.” Satoru looks up, meeting Suguru’s astonished gaze in the dim light, “I’m not letting you go again.”

-

Despite the chaos unleashed in the world, humanity still observed festivities, especially something like Setsubun as it concerns the cleansing of evil spirits. It also happens to be Suguru’s birthday. Upon Satoru’s request, Megumi drops by their small quarters and brings them food apt for the occasion. Satoru takes it from him with much gratitude and prepares the table, inviting him to eat with them.

It is a bit awkward, after all, Suguru has never really interacted with this young Zen’in clan head. His uncanny resemblance with Fushiguro Toji also rails up his fight-or-flight tendency, as if his body remembers the person who quite turned his world upside down.

“What?” Megumi suddenly asks him, the boy’s own shoulders tense, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Nothing,” Suguru offers a weak smile, “I was just reminiscing — I fought your father once.”

Megumi visibly relaxes, very much unlike when he asked the same question to Satoru over a decade ago. “Apparently, I did, too.”

“Apparently?”

“I didn’t know he was my father at that time. I just came to know recently.”

“He’s crazy strong.”

“That he was.”

“Satoru looked after you?”

“He occasionally dropped by, but he’s no more a parent than my negligent father.”

“Hey—,” Satoru tries to butt in the conversation and save his reputation—

“No wonder. I thought you’re too good of a person to have been brought up by this nuisance.”

It’s useless.

“I heard that.”

“I was only speaking the truth —— Fushiguro Megumi, isn’t it? I apologize for imposing on you,” Suguru’s tone shifts, his fingers wrung together on top of his knees, “I don’t have anything to offer in return, I even had your sister caught up in all this mess. I can only thank you for letting me stay here unnoticed.”

“I’m no saint, I also have my personal biases. And I didn’t do this for you. Since Gojo-sensei asked for it, it’s nothing I can’t do. Besides, my sister’s issue has already been resolved, no need to hold onto things that are past. Just…whatever your issue is, please deal with it yourselves.”

Just in time, Satoru finishes laying down the food on the table, a small cake with a single candle lit on top taking the center spot. His eyes meet Suguru’s, his lips curving up in a soft smile. “Don’t worry, we’re already working on it.”

-

“We can be like…I don’t know…rogue jujutsu sorcerers or something. There are too many curses running about, I’m sure they won’t notice us if we do clean up some. We'll be doing them a great favor, too, you know?”

In the end, the two of them decided they can’t stay in the Zen’in estate forever. Sprawled on the bed, they’ve been discussing how to move forward with limited resources and a death penalty over their heads.

“You’re too noticeable for us to keep lowkey.”

Satoru suddenly stops, not failing to hear Suguru’s use of the word “us”. A sudden warmth blossomed in his chest, like the first ray of sunshine after a long, arduous, winter. It’s the onset of spring within his reach.

“Maybe if we eliminate all the released curses, they’d provide us both amnesties.”

“I released them, remember? The moment anyone from the jujutsu society sees me, I’m as good as dead.”

“I won’t allow that, of course.”

“No need to be so gallant. We can just run away after.”

“Where to?”

Suguru doesn’t even miss a beat when he replies, “Anywhere.”

-

“Gojo-sensei, are you sure about this?”

Under the cover of the night, three silhouettes huddle in an obscure corner of the Zen’in estate.

“We don’t want to overstay our welcome either,” Satoru smiles.

“You won’t,” Megumi assures him, “You’ve taken care of me for nine years, after all.”

“Then I’ll come back to settle the rest of your debt when things calm down, okay?” Satoru reaches out to pat Megumi’s hair one last time, “For now, we’ll have to deal with our lives on our own.”

“Please don’t die,” Megumi says with a stern look. “And please don’t get yourself sealed again.”

“Who do you think you’re talking to?”

With a final farewell, Megumi retreats back into the Zen’in estate.

It’s only until his figure disappears that Satoru finally turns around and faces Suguru. He stretches out an arm, reaching for him. The weak moonlight brings an almost glittery sheen over his hair, reflecting the galaxy on his eyes. The sight is so beautiful it’s almost breathtaking — they haven’t been out for a while, and now, in just a few steps, it will be the road to freedom.

Together.

“Let’s go?”

Suguru takes his hand.

[rocksandrobots]

Of Rocks and Robots Ch. 36 - Wrestlers, Boxers, and Ninjas, Oh My (Part 3)

Gogo fumbled for her phone as it went off on the table near her bed, ringing loudly. She moaned in frustration, still groggy from sleep, as she reluctantly sat up and answered the call.

"Hello?" She yawned.

"Gogo, is Varian with you?" Aunt Cass's voice came through the other end.

"Uh, no," Gogo said, snapping awake, "he left last night about ten thirty or so."  

Sunlight streamed in through the window, indicating it was late morning or near noon, and Gogo couldn't dismiss the growing dread churning in her stomach as she realized something wasn't right.

"Yes, he called about that time to say he was on his way home, so I went on to bed, but I haven't seen him all morning. He was supposed to help out at the cafe today but he never showed up, and his bed doesn't look like it was slept in…. and he isn't answering his phone." Aunt Cass explained as worry crept into her voice. "I don't want to panic but, so far no one's seen him. Hiro stayed up later than I did, which is normal, but he says he never saw Varian come in either. I texted Honey Lemon earlier but she never got back with me."  

Gogo heard the faint sound of snoring below her that told her exactly where her roommate was. "Yeah, she's still asleep. Have you called Fred, or Wasabi yet?"

"No, but Fred was here earlier to see Hiro and he said that he hasn't heard from Varian since last night either."

Gogo took a deep breath to calm her nerves, "Okay, I'll call Wasabi and see if he spent the night at the dorms or something."

"That's a good idea, and I'll call Granville to see if Varian is at the school. I know finals are coming up; he could just be doing some last minute work on his project."

Aunt Cass's voice sounded cheerful, but they both knew that Varian wasn't likely to skip out on his job like that. He took his responsibilities seriously, and after the bot fighting incident, he was pretty diligent about communicating his whereabouts to Aunt Cass as well. But there was no other way to move forward but to explore all their other options first.

So they said their goodbyes and Gogo called Wasabi. Then she called Karmi, and then Carl and Globby. She even called up Carol. No one had seen nor heard from Varian since last night.

                                                   ----------------------

"Mole hasn't seen him either." Fred stated as he finished reading the text on his phone.

They were all gathered at the apartment, trying to debate on what to do.

"And I just talked to Megan. He's not with her either." Hiro added.

"So who haven't we called? What aren't we thinking of?" Wasabi asked.

"I guess we're just going to have to go out and physically hunt for him like last time." Gogo said.

"Yeah, I'll get Baymax to fly around and scan the city. We'll have to pick up our armor from HQ though. I left it there for repairs after our last matchup with Trina."

They all started to file out the door, all except for Honey Lemon who stood next to the kitchen window on her phone.

"You coming?" Gogo asked her.

"Yeah, I'm just trying to call Varian again." She said distractly. She'd been withdrawn all morning since the news hit. Constantly calling and texting same as the rest, but not saying much outside of that.

"Well you can do that on the ride to HQ." Wasabi said and she followed after them, still trying to get through on the phone which just kept ringing.

Once outside on the sidewalk, the phone went to voicemail again. She growled under her breath as she hit the redial button again; unsure what else she could do.

"Hey, you guys hear that?" Fred asked.

"Hear what?"

"Sounds like a phone ringing."

"Well Honey Lemon is on the phone." Gogo pointed out the obvious, getting slightly irritated with Fred.

"I know that. It's not coming from her, It's coming from somewhere over there." He pointed down the sidewalk across the street. He then took off walking that way even as Honey Lemon hung up in frustration.

Fred paused as if listening for something. "Make that phone call again, HL." He yelled to her.

She did, and Fred bolted over to the bus stop across the way.

"I found it!" He shouted as he held up a ringing cell phone high into the air.

They all ran over to him. In his hand he held what looked like Varian's phone but the screen was cracked right down the middle and the back was all scratched up.

"Yeah it's his alright." Fred proclaimed as he went through the phone's contents. "Here's the text he sent me last night about the wrestling tickets."

Everyone exchanged worried faces. Yes, something was definitely wrong here.

                                                  ----------------------

Varian awoke inside a dark room. He tried to move his arms but they were tied behind his back. He tried to stand up or scoot the chair he was seated in but couldn't as it was bolted to the floor.

After a few moments of struggling he tried to calm himself with a few deep breaths. At least he wasn't gagged this time. Though that probably meant whoever took him had him secured in a place where calls for help wouldn't be heard. So he didn't waste his time on that. Instead he tried his best to adjust his eyes to the dim light and see where he was.

It looked like some kind of lab. There were computers over next to one wall; their screens emitting a soft blue light. There was a work desk near him with an assortment of tools and wires scattered upon it, and over in one corner of the room was a 3D printer like the one Hiro had in his lab. Though this one appeared to be far larger and fancier than that one. He also could point out what looked like large pieces of scrap metal and glass here and about the room. There was probably a furnace somewhere for melting it all down but he couldn't see it from the angle he sat at.

As he sat there wondering what all this stuff was for, a door opened on the right side of the room, flooding the space with a stream of light.

"Ah you're awake!" A voice barked and Varian turned his head to see Yama standing there. He was flanked by two men dressed all in black, faces hidden behind masks, and with various weapons tucked in their belts.

'Ninjas' was the word Varian was looking for. He'd seen them in action movies that Hiro and Fred like to watch sometimes. They were supposed to be skilled warriors, like knights or royal guards in his world, but they lacked any sort of heavy armor and used hand to hand combat more often.

Supposedly anyways. You could never be too sure how accurate a film was. But either way Varian didn't fancy his changes fighting them head on; especially while unarmed.

Yama flipped a light switch and Varian blinked rapidly at the sudden change. Once his eyes adjusted again he saw his first assessment of the room being a lab was correct. Not that he had time to really think about that because soon Yama was standing before him blocking his view.

The mob boss bent down till he was eye level to Varian and gave a cruel smile. "Well, well, we meet again. It's a small world after all." His grin became even wider and Varian's stomach dropped. This was about the money from the 'bot fight wasn't, or perhaps Yama still held a grudge over the insults he had cheekily hurled during their match. Either way, Varian sure he was as good as dead. It was funny though, in a way, of all the times he'd come close to death and yet it was here of all places he was going to meet his end.

"You're a smart kid ain't ya?" Yama continued. He picked up a small magnetic ball from off the table. It looked like the ones Sirque used in her portals. "My boss was very impressed by your breakthroughs in portal tech."

Varian raised an eyebrow. So this wasn't about revenge? Then what was it?

"You mean Sirque?" He asked.

"No, not her you nitwit!" Yama rolled his eyes. "The big boss. The one that pays us all. Haven't you been keeping up?"

"You mean the one that was trying to get rid of Momosake?"

"Now you're getting the picture."

"Did she rat me out?"

"Who knows," Yama shrugged, "All I know is that the boss wants to offer you a deal and I'm here to make it."

"You got a strange way of negotiating business." Varian pointed out drly.

Yama smiled again. This was his arena as much as the 'bot fight had been; dirty deals, intimidation tactics, and crooked schemes. He was every bit the stereotypical gangster, right down to the tax evasions and his little black book full of hit lists.

"Look, it's simple," he said as he slipped into his sleazy salesman act, "you build us a portal like the one you made that night. We provide you with all the tools and materials and when done, we let you go on your merry way with a nice fat paycheck."

"While you keep the patent and if I try to claim I'm the original inventor; I can expect to find myself wearing a pair of concrete shows at the bottom of the bay."

Yama chuckled with glee. "You really are a smart kid."

"I've been around." Varian said cooly.

"Then you'll know that if you refuse to take me up on my offer you can expect a fitting for those cement shoes tonight. "

Varian pressed his lips to stop himself from hurling a bunch of vitriol at Yama. Losing his temper right now wouldn't help. But he knew that any promises to release him were empty. Why pay someone off to keep quiet when you could just kill them and pocket the money for yourself?

"Is that what you did to Sirque?" He asked instead.

"Naw," Yama dismissed, "She still works for us. It's just good business to not put all your eggs in one basket, if ya know what I mean."

Varian didn't respond to that but silently eyed Yama up and down like he was a slayer wolf in sheep's clothing.

"Look, I can even call her up if you want." Yama said, sensing the boy's mistrust.

"She can tell you that we're on the up and up. Sirque can even tell you how much the boss pays her, and it's a pretty penny. I should know. I keep the books."

Varian chewed his bottom lip in thought. If Sirque was still around then why did they need him? Was she being held hostage too, or was she more free because she was in on the whole thing from the start? Maybe she hit a roadblock and that's why they needed him. Shoot maybe she was the one who cooked up this whole kidnapping plot to begin with? Who knew what the truth was?

All Varían knew was that he couldn't trust Yama any further than you could throw him, which wasn't far. But he needed to stall if he wanted to keep living.

"Ok, I'll do it."

Yama broke out into a sickening smile once more. "Good, I knew you'd see reason. Boys untie the kid!"

The two ninjas walked over and undid Varian binds. He stood up and rubbed his sore wrists as Yama finalized the terms of their agreement.  

"We should have all the latest toys here that you need to get to work. If something is missing you can let us know and we'll get it for you. We'll bring ya a sandwich or something if ya get hungry and there's a bathroom in the back. Now this is important, so listen up, don't go thinking about escape. No dirty tricks or trying to contact the outside, or the deal is off and well, my two associates here will have to start getting rough. Got it!?"

He pointed at the two ninjas who stealthily took up their positions at either side of the room. Varian quickly darted his eyes about taking stock of the lab once more, noting where the two deadly assassins hired to guard him were placed. Nothing immediately stood out to him as being useful or practical for escape, but perhaps he could build himself something…

"Got it." He nodded and Yama smiled, shook his hand in a forceful manner, and then turned to leave; laughing all the way.

Left alone now, save for his two jailors, Varian got to work.

                                                  ----------------------

"Any luck?" Wasabi asked over the intercom.

"Not yet." Hiro replied as he and Baymax hovered over the city. The robot performed his typical bioscan searching for their missing friend.

"I touched back with Aunt Cass. She's called the police and Cruz is on the case now as well." Gogo chimed in.

"Yeah, well, it looks like he just found something." Fred responded from where he kept watch, right above the trolley stop where Varian was last seen. "Cruz just pulled up to the apartment complex down the street from Gogo and Honey Lemon's place."

"Okay, we'll meet you there." Hiro said as he ordered the rest of the gang to reconvene.

They arrived back at the bus stop just in time to see Officer Cruz and his men dragging El Feugo out of his apartment building.

"Oooh I knew he was up to something!" Honey Lemon shouted, and before her friends could stop her, she took off running towards the arrest in progress.

                                                  ----------------------

"What is the meaning of this!?" The wrestler bellowed. "I demand a lawyer!"

"You'll get one." Cruz said as he forcefully shoved the suspect into the back of the police van. But before he could close the door, he was greeted by one of the Big Hero Six members running up to meet them.

"What did you do to Varian!?" The tall one in pink armor yelled accusingly at the perpetrator.

She had to be held back back by her fellow superheroes, who rushed up to join them, before she could lunge at the man seated in the paddy wagon.

Chief Cruz was not amused.

"This is official police business. Vigilantes are not needed nor welcomed when making an arrest."

"Sorry Officer Cruz," the shortest of the team apologized. "We're just looking for a friend of ours. Did you find him?"

"That's classified information." He said and he turned to leave.

"Please?" The superhero asked again, the desperation in his voice was evident. Cruz ignored him as he finished closing the vehicle door. He then ordered his men to move out, leaving only himself, his deputy, and a few of the forensic team behind as the criminal was hauled away.

The superheroes didn't budge. They wouldn't leave until they heard a straightforward answer from him. Cruz sighed. It looked like he was going to have to drop the niceties and tell the ugly truth.

"No we did not find him." He said as he faced the gang once more. "We got an anonymous tip off that El Fuego was seen with the missing person last night and articles of the victim's clothing were found inside the suspect's apartment when we came to question him. Said suspect is wanted for breaking patrol and we'll be conducting further investigation at the station."

"Clothing?" The green suited hero asked.

As if in answer to this query, some of the forensic people started to load up some of the evidence into their van.

"I have found Varian's goggles." The largest of the heroes said while pointing to one of the sealed bags that they carried; it did indeed contain the aforementioned goggles. He was a very imposing looking figure in his red armor, but his voice sounded very soft and lilting; almost robotic even.

Cruz raised an eyebrow at him, "Got good eyesight, hun?"

"Just his goggles? That's all?" The shortest of the heroes despaired. "But that doesn't make any sense."

"And that's why you're only an amateur." Cruz berated. "Clearly this is more than just a one person job. El Feugo has to be working with someone else and he handed the boy off to them, and who knows how many kids might be involved in such a plot. The more you six keep butting in the more risk you take in tipping off El Feugo's accomplices."

"So you don't think Varian was taken for any specific reasons," the one in yellow stated, "you think he's just the latest victim of a larger scam."

Cruz narrowed his eyes in suspicion, "And why would anyone want to kidnap Varian especially?"

His question went ignored; instead the leader of the group tried to bargain with him.

"Look, we can help you find him, and any other missing kids. Bay--- Red Panda here has bio-scanners and-"

"And where did you get such tech?" Cruz interrupted. The superhero visibly stiffened at that question, clearly unwilling to answer.

"What aren't you telling me?" Cruz continued to press. He was rapidly losing patience with them. "You listen here, this isn't a game. There are lives on the line and I don't have time to play twenty questions. So answer me. What do you know about Varian's disappearance?"

"Nothing…. No more than you do anyways." The short hero responded. "I mean we have some theories but nothing substantial to back them up."

"Theories alone won't save lives," Cruz said. "You need to stay out of this. Leave it to the professionals. Cause I swear to you, if I have to go tell my best friend that I found her child lying dead in a gutter cause you went and hindered an investigation, I will throw the book at you."

This last threat seemed to finally get through to them. Cruz couldn't make out their faces clearly behind the heroes' tinted visors, but he swore he saw the smallest one fighting to blink back tears. He just hoped a stern rebuttal was all that it would take to keep the vigilantes at bay as he entered his police car and drove away; leaving the small group of 'crime fighters' standing forlornly on the sidewalk.

                                                  ----------------------

Varian carefully poured the battery acid out of the dismantled motor and into the glass. He had found it inside an emergency backup generator storaged next to computers. Varian guessed that his captors wanted the option to remain off grid in case they had to lie low from the authorities.

He stalled when a drop of the corrosive chemical spilled onto the table.

"Steady...steady…" He whispered to himself as he readjusted and continued to empty the motor's contents. He desperately wished for a pair of gloves or an apron, or something. The lab he was currently held in was more geared towards engineering and computer programming and sorely lacking in both chemistry sets and safety equipment.

He also didn't know where his goggles went. He figured they got knocked off during the struggle last night. Perhaps not the most pressing of matters at the moment, but the lost still pained him. He had so little left of his old life that he hated to lose anymore.

He finished transferring the acid into the cup and placed the motor down. Then he tried to think of his next step as he raised the glass to better see his handy work.

It wasn't much, but the small amount of liquid would have to do. His only hope was that; one, the ninjas were ignorant of chemistry and two, he could catch them off guard and throw the corrosive contents at them. He prayed that would be distraction enough to get beyond the door and then hopefully make his way to freedom.

It was a pitiful plan, he knew, but he was dealing with limited resources.

It was a plan destined to fail.

One of the ninjas came up from behind him and grabbed his wrist.  

Varian let out a yelp of both pain and surprise. The warrior's grip was strong, more so than normal, and Varian felt like he was caught in a vise.

"Hey, I need that!" He protested as the ninja proceeded to move Varian's hand, and the glass full of acid with it, towards himself. Then without saying a word, the hired assassin used his free hand to grab the bottom of the glass and rip it away from Varian. He then tossed it into the trash nearby.

Well so much for that idea.

The ninja then released him and Varian ruefully tried to rub away the soreness in his wrist.  

"How am I supposed to work like this?" Varian bluffed. "You asked me to build a portal for you and I got to have fuel to power it up, don't I?"

His guard didn't respond and instead took up his position next to the door once more.

Varian rolled his eyes and grumbled under his breath. He was making a show of his displeasure in order to hide the panic rising up within him.

What now? He thought. His eyes scanned the room once more and landed upon the other guard that stood at the opposite end of the room. Varian glared at him; almost challenging the ninja to say or do, well, something , anything.

"Can I get that sandwich y'all promised?" He sarcastically asked. But still neither of his captors said anything.

It was unnerving the way they never talked. It didn't help that their masks covered their whole face either. Varian supposed it was made of some sort of mesh that allowed the wearer to see out but from his point of view it just looked like they didn't have a face at all. It was just a formless black void where the eyes and mouth should have been.

That was probably the point; an intimidation tactic while also allowing them to keep their anonymity. Didn't stop him from being creeped out by them though.

Varian sighed deeply in resignation. His usual tricks just weren't going to help him here, and there was no way he could fight off both of them. He was way out matched, he knew.

So I guess there's nothing to it but to give Yama what he wants. Varian thought. Then another realisation struck him. "That's it! I'll make him portal alright!" He yelled to no one in particular. Let the guards hear him. All he was going to do was precisely what was asked of him, and it was going to be brilliant.

                                                  ----------------------

The Big Hero Six gang huddled upon a rooftop as they discussed what to do next.

"It just doesn't make sense." Fred said as he rubbed his chin in thought. He was perched on top of the ledge, looking for all the world like a gargoyle come to life. "El Fuego only ever cared about proving himself the best fighter. Why would he suddenly start abducting people?"

"Didn't you hear officer Cruz?" Wasabi replied."Someone else must have paid him to do it. He's just in it for the money."

"No, no, that still doesn't add up." Fred shook his head. "He just got back into wrestling. He shouldn't need the money, and why would he risk losing his dream job by committing a felony? Not to mention just leaving an article of your victim's clothing right there in your apartment, now that's just sloppy… amateurish even."

"Well no one said El Fuego was the brightest bulb in the box." Hiro chimed in as he read Baymax's latest scan readings.

"What are you getting at Fred?" Gogo asked.

"It smells like a setup to me." Fred answered. "It's a classic frame job. Just plant the evidence in the poor sap's apartment in order to throw the cops off your own trail."

"You can't be serious," came Honey Lemon's sardonic retort.

Everyone looked at her in surprise. She had been silently stewing over in the corner since they parted ways with the police. Now she was glaring daggers right at Fred as she crossed her arms and drummed her fingers.

No one ever knew what to do when Honey Lemon got angry about something. It was such a rare occurrence, like an ice storm in May. Sure, it technically could happen and has before, but you're never expecting it when it does.

Fortunately Fred was spared her chilly wrath when Gogo's phone rang.

"Hello? Yeah, hold on." She removed the phone from her ear. " It's Carl." She said as she pressed the speaker button.

"Hey, I just heard about El Fuego's arrest." Carl's voice rang out. "Did the police find anything?"

"No." Hiro told him. "They think he was working for someone else but they don't know who."

"I might know," Came Carl's weary response. "Some old associates of mine contacted me about a job. I told them I wasn't interested, but they then started asking about Varian. I thought they were trying to recruit him into their gang, and in no uncertain terms, I told them to leave the kid alone or risk losing their spleens. But it's starting to look like my words fell on deaf ears." He gave a heavy sigh. "Look, Globby and I are at Good Luck Alley right now doing some snooping. I don't wanna say too much over the phone in case anyone is eavesdropping. Why don't you meet us somewhere more secure?"

"We could meet you back at the apartments." Gogo suggested.

"Sounds good. I'll see ya there in a few, then." He then hung up.

As everyone made ready to leave, Hiro spotted the police van carrying El Fugeo stop at a red light beneath them.

"You guys go ahead and meet up with Carl. Baymax and I are going to go interrogate our westling friend down there before he gets to the station."

"I'm going with you." Honey Lemon said.

"Alright. As soon as you learn anything, call us and we'll do the same." Hiro ordered as he and Baymax flew down to meet the armored vehicle with Honey Lemon following closely behind.

                                                  ----------------------

El Fuego felt the police van rock wildly as something heavy landed on the vehicle's roof. Then a green substance started to seep through the ceiling in a bubbling ring; eating away at the metal like acid. Suddenly a strong arm punched the deteriorated circle and the metal clattered to the floor as three members of Big Hero Six swooped in.

"Where's Varian!?" The tall woman growled as she snatched him by the shirt collar and practically lifted him off the ground.

"I don't know." The wrestler insisted.

"You were with him last night and the police found his goggles in your apartment." The shortest superhero said. "Please, we just want to find him, and if you know anything at all about where he might be you need to tell us before he gets hurt."

El Fugeo gave a heavy sigh. "Yeah, I know something. But I'm not the one who kidnapped him! I don't play that game."

"Then who did?" The short superhero pressed.

"Yama. Two of his goons approached me last night before the show about 'a job'. I told them I wasn't interested and that I had a fight to win. Turns out they were after the kid. What for, I don't know, but I had just met him earlier that day. He happens to be a  fan of mine.  Well I wasn't about to let one of my fans get accosted, was I? So I walked him and his girlfriend to the bus and saw them safely home. It was easy to, since they didn't live far from me.  I even gave them a couple of tickets to tonight's match, just so that I could keep an eye on them. I figured if Yama's paid thugs showed up I could scare them off ya know."

The heroes frowned. "You mean you were trying to help?" The short one asked. "Then why didn't you contact the police?"

"Oh sure, with my record? I'm trying to keep out of jail, remember? Also how was I to know the chump would leave his girl's apartment in the middle of the night? Geez that aunt of his must be one chapada a la antigua, am I right?"

He wasn't sure what he had said wrong, but El Fuego found himself being roughly shoved back into his seat as the tall woman angrily flung him away from her grasp. Then without another word she jumped out of the vehicle the way she had come, her special boots springing her upwards at a height most normal people could never achieve.

The other two followed after her.

"Hey wait!" He called out and the short superhero stuck his head back down to see what the wrestler wanted. "I...I hope you find him." He sincerely said.

The superhero nodded. "Yeah, me too." The crack in his voice was evident even to El Fugeo.

                                                  ----------------------

Hiro joined Honey Lemon and Baymax on the nearest rooftop.

Honey Lemon stood stock still, her hands clenched into fists, as she watched the police van leave.

"He's such a jerk!" She suddenly fumed.  

"Yeah, you're right, he is," Hiro agreed, "but he's also innocent."

Honey Lemon looked at him in surprise, but Hiro pressed on.

"I think he's telling the truth. His story confirms what Carl said earlier and we both know Yama would have reasons to kidnap Varian. I think El Fuego was legitimately trying to help, in his own annoying way."

Honey Lemon opened her mouth to retort but nothing came out as she racked her brain for a counter argument. She then sobbed as she flopped down on the ledge and pulled her helmet off.

"But doesn't it make you angry?" She cried. "Varian's still missing and that… that creep , he… ooooh.." She couldn't even form words through her rage.

"I'm too scared to get angry right now." Hiro quietly admitted.

This stopped Honey Lemon from launching into another rant. Instead she gave him a pout as she blinked back tears.

"Our only hope right now," Hiro continued, "is that Yama nabbed him because that crime boss he works for wanted Varian' s portal tech, and not, you know, for revenge. Cause if this is about the money he lost in the bot fight then… then Varian could already be seriously hurt." He sighed and took a seat next to Honey Lemon. "Maybe Cruz is right. Maybe we're only making things worse."

"Y-you can't mean that."

"What happens to Varian if that crime lord figures out we're on to him? Hun? What happens if Yama knows we're involved, cause he hates us too.  Or, you know, maybe it's our fault for giving Varian that portal tech in the first place! O-or if we hadn't chased Mr. Sparkles down when he stole that first portal, then the two wouldn't have reconnected and Varian could be back safe in his world an-"

"Stop it." Honey Lemon said softly. She locked eyes with Hiro. "Stop blaming yourself for things you can't control. You had no idea that this would happen. No one did, and you are not responsible for what Yama does."

Hiro reflected on her words but didn't respond. She was right, he knew, but that didn't stop the guilt bubbling in his chest.

"Also Varian's world is even more dangerous than this one." She went on. "So it's a good thing he came here and met us. That's why we're going to bring his father here once he gets the portal working. Which he will, I'm sure. So will find Varian, rescue his dad, and then we'll all be together. Everyone will be safe and we'll all live happily ever after!"

She flashed him her usual cheerful smile, but it quickly faded as she noted Hiro's mournful eyes.

"C-cause after all, no one deserves to lose as much as we have." She uttered as if trying to convince herself more than anything. "Surely the universe isn't that cruel."

Both teens sat in silence for several minutes as Baymax continued his bioscan of the city.

"There's an incoming call coming from Gogo." The robot announced.

"Yeah, put her on speaker." Hiro said.

"Hey," the other girl's voice rang out, "Carl and Globby found a lead."

"Where?"

"Down by the docks. Meet us at Ryōshi Warf."

"Okay. We're on our way."

                                                  ----------------------

"So, how's things going?" Yama bellowed as he slammed the door to the lab open.

Varian visibly jumped at the intrusion but quickly gathered his wits about him. 'Never let your captor know how scared you really are of them', was a lesson Varian had to learn the hard way back in prison.

"It's going well." He said eveningly. "In fact I was just about to do a test run. Would you like to watch?"

Yama cocked a grin. This was going better than he had planned. He had originally expected the inventing process to take at least a few days, and probably would have required some more 'persuasion' tactics to go with it. But nope, the kid had finished in record time and was being very cooperative. The boss would be very pleased if Yama could show up tomorrow with a working portal. You know, after, he 'test ran' it on a few banks first.

"Alright, lets see it kid. Whatcha got?"

Varian picked up a remote control off the table and scooped up the magnetic balls that had belonged Sirque. The whole set up was similar to his first go at a portable portal, back when he and his friends had faced off with the acrobatic thief. However, this time he had built a computer interface into the remote instead of the more simple dial he had originally used. He had also programmed ways to gauge the velocity and temperature of the portal to keep it from overheating like last time.

"Okay, pick a place." He told the mob boss. "Though it needs to be within city limits since this is a short range test."

Yama rolled his shoulders and pursed his lips in thought. "Hmm… try the abandoned fisherman's warehouse on Canary street. I was thinking of making that a new bot fighting arena. We could check it out real quick."

Varian tried to slow his racing heart as he entered the coordinates. He had only one shot at this.

He then threw the magnets into the air and flipped a switch on the remote. The balls began to spin in the air as they linked up and a portal began to form.  

It came out right next to the warehouse.

"Haha! Good work kid!" Yama laughed as he good naturedly slapped Varian across the back. He nearly stumbled from the force, but righted himself quickly as Yama walked through the portal.

The mobster then turned around towards him and beamed. "Now we gotta hit up some banks! Can you make a portal inside a safe or better yet, inside a jewelry store?"

"Sure thing." Varian lied as he went and flipped the switch off on the remote. The portal promptly closed, leaving Yama stranded on the docks.

The ninjas immediately started to close in on Varian.

"Woah, woah, no need to get angry. It was just an accident. Look, the coordinates are still set. All I have to do is turn the portal on again and he can come back. See?"

Varian held up the remote so that his jailors could read the screen for themselves. They paused in their tracks, though one still loomed threateningly over him. He gulped as he flipped the switch once more.

The magnets floated back up into the air of their own accord and then proceeded to spin again. However this time the portal opened up over on the opposite side of the warehouse, back behind the street.

Varian steeled himself as he made a fist.

"This biggest, ugliest, bully you can think of."

He recalled Carl's advice as he swung with all his might and punched the ninja nearest to him in the jaw.

There was a sickening, unnatural crunching sound that Varian didn't want to think too hard about as he jumped through the portal.

Once through he quickly switched the remote off.

He turned around, and to his horror he saw the other ninja following after him through the rapidly shrinking portal.  Varian tried to call out a warning to him, but it was too late. The portal closed, cutting off the ninja's right arm.  But it wasn't blood that spilled from the wound. Instead electricity sparked from severed wires as the relentless robot stalked towards Varian.

"Oh no."

                                                  ----------------------

"I have found Varian." Baymax calmly stated.

The robot had never ceased running his bioscanners throughout the day. While his humans discussed strategy, he had kept a lookout on the edge of the pier as he scanned the boardwalk and docks.

"Wait. Really?" Hiro hopefully asked.

"Way to go Baymax! Alright!" Fred cheered and offered the droid a customary high five.

"Where is he?" Gogo asked.

"Over there, at the abandoned warehouse." He dutifully replied.

                                                  ----------------------

They found Yama outside talking on his cellphone as they approached the fishing warehouse.

"Listen up! I need you bozos to bring a car around and pick me up. I'm at the doc-"

"You're not going anywhere!" Wasabi said as the heroes surrounded the villain.

Honey Lemon threw some of her chimballs at him and a purple substance encased Yama's feet pinning him in place.

"Where's Varian?" Gogo asked, but before the mobster could answer Baymax chimed in.

"Varian is that way." He pointed towards the warehouse once more.

Yama looked confused. "I left the kid at the hideout. He shouldn't be here."

"Wasabi, Fred, stay with Yama and keep a lookout." Hiro said. "See if you can get any more information out of him while you're at it. Gogo and Honey Lemon, check the building. I'm going to fly up with Baymax and see if we can pinpoint Varian's location better."

                                                  ----------------------

Varian ran, but his pursuer was close behind. He knew he couldn't out run the robot, but there was little else to do.  He dodged a shuriken as it whizzed through the air and dove down the nearest alley.

Dead end.

He turned to face his attacker; casting his eyes about desperately looking for anything to defend himself with. He found nothing.  

The faceless android strode forward without remorse and Varian did the only thing he could. He threw up his fists, planted his feet, and took up the defensive position Carl had taught him.

The robot threw its last shuriken and Varian ducked to miss it. He then quickly stood back up just in time to block a blow from the deadly droid.

It hurt, but not as much as a busted nose would have. He then blocked a second punch, and then a third.

The ninja fell back and decided to give a roundhouse kick instead. Varian flopped down to avoid it and the robot's foot lodged itself into the brick wall.

Varian took this as an opportunity to kick back from where he sat on the ground. It wasn't nearly as graceful nor as strong as his opponent's had been but it managed to knock the android off balance anyway.

That was when Baymax and Hiro arrived.

Varian nearly cried with relief as the larger robot shot out his rocket punch and sent the fake ninja slamming into the wall before it shortcurited and crumbled up into a heap.

Hiro tore off his helmet. "Are you alright?"

"I think-" before he could finish the younger teen grabbed into a tight hug. "...so."

Varian stared down at the other boy, waiting for him to let go, but he didn't relinquish his grip. That's when Varian noticed that Hiro was crying.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm okay. Honest." Varian awkwardly said as he tried his best to comfort the other kid.

Hiro sniffled and tried to compose himself before letting go. "Baymax, do a scan." He ordered.

"You appeared to have suffered no major injuries. However traumatic events can cause psychological stress. I recommend talking with your ther-"

"It's okay Baymax." Varian interrupted. "I'm fine. Thank you, though."

"Then I am also glad that you are alright." The robotic nurse opened his arms wide and gave Varian a hug as well. "There, there." It said as it patted his head and Varian had to stifle a laugh.

"We better meet up with the others." Hiro said.

                                                  ----------------------

There were more hugs waiting for Varian when they rejoined the rest of the gang on the docks. Honey Lemon in particular just about squeezed all the air out of his lungs.

"So let me get this straight?" Fred asked, "You got to fight off a robot ninja!?"

"Two of them."

"Awe, I am so jelly!"

"So what do we do about Yama here?" Wasabi asked.

Hiro walked up to the mob boss and started to interrogate him "Who's this Bosu?"

"I'm not squealing." Yama said. "I know my rights, and you armored droks ain't cops."

"Well okay then," Gogo taunted. "I guess we'll just call the cobs and leave you to them."

Yama made a displeased face but still said no more.

"We'll drop you off at the police station, Varian." Hiro said. "You can tell Cruz about El Fuego's innocence and he'll take you home. Gogo phone ahead and let the police know where Yama is. You and Wasabi can stay behind and guard him till they arrive."  

"Got it."

"Honey Lemon, will you let Carl and Globby know what's going on. Tell them they can call off the search."

She hummed her acknowledgement.

"What about me?" Fred asked.

"You wanna take Minimax and do tonight's patrol?" Hiro asked.

"On it." He saluted.

And with that Hiro and Varian hopped on Baymax's back and flew away.

                                                  ----------------------

Aunt Cass was waiting for Varian when he and Chief Cruz pulled up. He barely made it through the door of the cafe before she flung herself at him and asked him a million and one questions.

Where had he been? What happened? Was he hurt? Was he hungry? Did they need to call the doctor? And so on and so on…

Varian answered them as best he could, conveniently leaving out Hiro's involvement.

"Well looks like my job here is done." Cruz said as he took his leave.

"Thank you Diego. I don't know what we would do without you." Aunt Cass said.

"Naw, don't mention it. I'm just doing my duty, besides Varian's quick thinking is what got him out of that mess. It's a good thing you're talking self defense classes at the gym. I always recommend young people should know self defense of some kind."

They then exchanged goodbyes and Cruz left.

"And you didn't want me to learn boxing." Varian teased.

However Aunt Cass only looked at him with tearful eyes.

"What is it?"

She sighed. "How does one boy find himself in so much trouble so often?"

Varian felt his cheeks flush and he lowered his eyes. He waited on another lecture, but it never came.

"I know, it's not your fault." She said as she lifted his face. "It's just…so… so… bizzare. You escape one death trap only to fall right into another." She blinked in bafflement. "Am I doing something wrong?"

"Noooo, no, of course not. It's not your fault either that Yama's a jerk."

"But I'm supposed to protect you." She insisted and then pressed her forehead against his.

"And you're doing great at it." Varian said as he pulled away to look her in the eye.

"You could say that again." Hiro proclaimed as he came down stairs to join them.

Aunt Cass gave them both a grateful smile before scooping them into a family group hug.

                                                  ----------------------

"List Newton's Three Laws of Motion." Honey Lemon read off the study sheet in her hand.

"Every object in a state of uniform motion will remain in that state of motion unless an external force acts on it.

Force equals mass times acceleration.

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." Varian rattled off.

He had only heard of Isaac Newton upon coming to this world, but the famed alchemist's theories and equations weren't too far off from Varian's on calculations. Turns out that he only predated the physicist by about ten years.

"Annd that's it. We're done with the practice test." Honey Lemon said.

"Woot!" Varian cheered and threw his arms up in the air. "How did I do?"

"You got every question right, except for Einstein's birthday."

Varian curled his lip in irritation. "It's a physics exam, not a history test."  

This only sent Honey Lemon into a fit of giggles. It was good to hear her laughing again. He hadn't seen her smile since the wrestling match two days ago, but she had cheered up considerably since then and now they were back in her apartment resuming their studies.

"Do you wanna break for lunch?" He asked.

"Sure."

                                                  ----------------------

They found their friends all at Joe's Diner. Including, Carl, Globby, and El Fuego.

"Ah if it isn't my fans!" The wrestler called out.

Varian stiffened and gave Honey Lemon a side glance. But the other girl just continued to smile, and was a genuine smile at that.

"Hi." She sang as she walked over to join everyone and Varian allowed himself to relax.

"Globby here was just telling us about his newest passion project." Wasabi explained as they sat down.

"I call it the S.R.S." Globby excitedly went on. "The Supervillain Reform School! It'll be a support group for former villains and convicts trying to get back up on their feet and reenter society. What do ya think?"

"I think it's a great idea." Hiro chimed in.

"Yeah and if you need any help let us know." Honey Lemon added.

"And I'll be the first graduate, hey amigo." El Fuego laughed as he playfully nudged Globby in his non-existent ribs.  

"Oooh I smell a former super villain turned heroes team up in the air!" Fred said as he practically vibrated with excitement.

Carl chuckled, "Well I don't know about that, but it'll be a great way to give back to the community and help out some of the younger folks who keep getting dragged into the constant turf wars around here. Hopefully give them some opportunities besides taking dirty deals from Yama and whatever new crime lord pops up each month."

"That's really cool of you guys." Gogo said.

Varian agreed, in fact the whole idea intrigued him immensely. "Do ya need any extra members? You know just to get the ball rolling."

"Sure!" Globby exclaimed. "The more the merrier! You can help Carl out with the youth outreach!"

"Glad to have ya on bored buddy." Carl said as he gave a Varian a fist bump.

"Well then I propose a toast to the new S.R.S.!" Honey Lemon cheered as she raised her milkshake up and everyone followed suit.

                                                  ----------------------

An ancient hand drummed it fingers upon the mahogany desk in irritation.

Of course that idiot Yama got himself captured.

Time for a new plan.

                                                  ----------------------

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[thepointoftheneedle]

Fragment

I’m really enjoying the fragments (and I freaked myself out with that word count thing so I’m taking some time off from writing....note to self -NEVER look at the stats page.). Anyway I keep trying to write this little soulmate thing but, without me intending it, it always becomes an academic paper on the philosophy of colour perception.  And I can’t imagine anybody but me is interested in that!

Below the cut anyway....(I guess this should have been for Friday but what the heck...)

His eyes fluttered open as he awakened but, feeling the warmth of the sleeping girl by his side, he closed them tightly.  He wanted them to have this experience together.  Nothing would ever be the same for them again.  It was a special moment for a couple and he wanted it to be perfect.  He had installed the app on his phone so he fumbled for it, knocking some loose papers from the nightstand and cursing gently.  She mumbled and stirred so he put his hand over her eyes.  “What the hell J?  What’re you doing?”  

“I’m opening up ‘Soul Truth.’  We can look together.”

“Oh J, no, don’t do that,” she moaned softly, beseechingly.

“Ssh, don’t worry.  It’ll be great.”  He kissed her gently, voice-activated the app and removed his hand from her eyes.  She was looking at him, not the screen so he gently turned her head and looked down as she did.  The screen was a uniform blue.  His stomach lurched.  It must be a glitch.  “Wait, wait a second,” he muttered, clicking the app closed and reopening it.  Solid blue.  He looked at her and saw the sadness in her beautiful dark eyes.  Sadness but not surprise.  

She reached out a hand and stroked his cheek softly, “Hey, I’m sorry J.  I didn’t want to disappoint you but I already knew.  I just didn’t feel it last night.”

“Jeez Rox, I’m so sorry.  I can do better, you just have to tell me what I did wrong.  I know I can be what you want. I thought you’d…I thought I felt you...”

“I did, Jughead, of course I did.  Listen.  It was great.  You were great.  So tender and kind.  It was beautiful and I really had a good time but it wasn’t…I don’t know.  It wasn’t whatever soul mates have.  You’ve heard Fangs talk about it.  It’s next level.  Transcendent.  What we had was great sex, but it was just great sex.  No angelic chorus.  You had to feel that?” She was normally tough and streetwise but now her voice was gentle, trying not to hurt him.  There was a painful lump in his throat.

“I thought it was transcendent, you were anyway. I think I’m falling in love with you Roxie.”  His voice was quavering.  He was ashamed of his weakness.  “It has to be a mistake. It’s the app.  It has to be.”  Abruptly he was up and heading down the hallway before she could say another word.  “Fangs, “ he yelled.  “You in there?” He stood waiting, shivering, in his boxers, while disgruntled groaning emanated from the room, until eventually the door opened a crack and Fangs peered out at him.

“Jones, the building better be on fire.  We didn’t get in til four.  What time is it?”

“Just after eight.  Look, is this broken?”

Fangs looked at the proffered screen blearily then a small smile appeared on his face.  “Aww cute bunny.”  Jughead snatched the screen back and swiped up.  An image appeared in his visible spectrum of a cartoon bunny rabbit holding out a carrot.  The legend underneath read “I wuv you.” 

“Uggh, why don’t they have something with a bit of gravitas?  Shit.  Fuck it!”  Jug turned around just as Fangs understood the situation.  

“Oh my god Jughead!  Did you and Rosaline finally do the do? Oh shit…you can’t see that can you? Oh Christ man, I’m so sorry.” 

Jug swallowed down his disappointment, just like he had been swallowing down his anger and sorrow and guilt and sadness for most of his life and shrugged at Fangs.  “No biggie.  Apparently I’m destined to die alone.  Whatever.”  He stalked off back to his own room only to find Roxie already getting dressed. “Roz, shit, can’t we talk about this?  Don’t go. Maybe it’ll happen later, perhaps it’s not always instant?”

Her voice was low and mournful when she spoke. “J I really care about you, you’re my good friend, but we’re both searching for something that we’re never going to be able to give each other. Let’s just take some time apart.  Maybe in a few months we’ll be able to go back to being pals again.  I’m really sorry that you’re disappointed.”  With that she was gone in a whisk of magenta hair and Cabotine perfume.

He sat on his bed and stared into space.  He’d been so sure.  She was a dear friend, she understood him, laughing at the same things, enjoying the same movies.  There was never any stress or conflict with her.  It was easy. She indulged his bad moods and cajoled him out of sulks with food and silly jokes.  He knew enough to leave her well alone when she was getting into one of her rages.  Then gradually, as they worked together on the documentary project, he found himself wanting to touch her hair, wanting to hold her tiny body against his in a protective embrace, wanting to make her feel good with his touches.  She’d seemed uncertain but he’d persevered, wooed her really.  Then finally, excited and giddy after the showcase where their documentary project had taken first place she’d kissed him and whispered, “Do you want to go back to your place?”  He’d been so happy as they’d crunched back to his apartment through the first snow of the winter.  He’d wondered if it might happen when they finished the film.  While sex tended to be the main way that a soul bond was revealed, a lot of soul mates actually bonded on completion of some other kind of shared project.  It hadn’t happened then but he’d been so sure that, if they made love, it would click and the missing shade would be revealed to them.  And then it hadn’t happened.

The app was pretty new.  Before the advent of the smart phone, folks would have a painting or a poster in their homes.  To those who were not matched it would look like an ordinary scene but once a soul bond was formed, the missing colour in the spectrum was revealed, and the soul mates could read the message in the image.  It was a little like a magic eye poster.  You looked at it for a moment or two and then the missing colour reconciled itself into words or an image.  Originally they had some gnomic inspirational quotation.   The one in the trailer he grew up in had, his mom said, had the Rolling Stone’s lyric, “You can't always get what you want but if you try sometime you find you get what you need.” Ironically FP and Gladys had been neither what the other wanted nor what they needed.  Later it would turn out that FP had lied when he stood in front of that poster and told the innocent, love-struck young girl, wrapped in the sheet from his bed, that he saw it  for the first time too. Actually he’d already bonded with someone else, someone who had no intention of getting tied up with a guy in a gang from the wrong side of the tracks.  He must have thought it was his lucky day, a second chance for happiness, when the beautiful girl he’d been romancing excitedly admitted that she could see the colour for the first time.  He’d nodded enthusiastically, said, “Yeah, me too,” and whisked her away to a world of damp trailers, drunken arguments and angry guys repossessing their truck, or the tv, or the kids’ toys.  She’d stayed because she believed he was her soul mate.  She thought she had no other options until, in a drunken rage, he’d revealed that it had always been a lie. She snatched up her daughter and left him.  And left the boy too, unwilling to take a kid who looked so much like the man she had been fool enough to trust and who had ruined her life with his lies.

The fact that scumbags with no moral scruples lied about this shit had led to the development of checking apps like Soul Truth, “the truth, the soul truth and nothing but the truth” according to the tag line.  You both looked at the screen and noted down what you saw, then swiped up and the image was revealed in ordinary unbonded colours.  It made it harder for predators and perverts to take advantage of young innocents while their good sense was overwhelmed by romantic dreams.  It also revealed that about ten percent of bonds were unreciprocated like Jughead’s parents, one of the couple bonded and the other didn’t.  Those couples had to decide if they would make that work, aware that one was more invested than the other, or if it was better to simply part, the bonded still feeling that desperate pull to their mate even decades later. Jug guessed he should be relieved that he hadn’t seen the colour that morning since, clearly, Roz was just not that into him.

He’d been sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the rug like that for thirty minutes when Fangs tapped softly on the door.  “Not now,” he snapped but Fangs ignored him and pushed open the door.

“Ok Jug.  I know you’re upset but it just means you haven’t found her yet.  She’s still out there and if you go into one of your epic sulks you’ve got less chance of meeting her.  What classes have you got today?”

“Nothing I can’t cancel.  Everyone’s cramming for Finals.  I was supposed to meet the princess to go over the final layout for the literary magazine.  She can do it on her own.  She’ll like that better anyway.” 

Now Kevin joined his boyfriend in the room, both of them making him feel self indulgent and guilty with their solicitousness.  “You shouldn’t shut yourself away and mope, Jughead.  Go and edit like a champ and then come by the theatre for us and we’ll go for burgers. We’re striking the set but we can take a break.  Our treat.  What do you say?”

Jughead pondered for a moment.  Nothing was going to change if he sat here, the princess would  be unbearable if he blew her off, and burgers on someone else’s tab were his favourite kind of burgers, so he grudgingly allowed himself to be persuaded.  

An hour later he was in the midst of a heated argument with the princess about his perfectly legitimate decision to kill a terrible poem about the fall which she, inexplicably, had marked for an already overcrowded page four.  “You can’t just take things out without consultation Forsythe.  We’re an editorial committee, we make decisions together.  It’s supposed to be a collaboration.”

“What, you want to keep this pile of third grade horseshit do you? And you’re just calling me that to make me mad. Don’t think I don’t know.”

“I didn’t say that.  It’s terrible.  It obviously has to go.  But you can’t just do it unilaterally. And you can’t call me Princess and not expect me to retaliate.  You know my name.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake Princess... sorry, my humblest apologies, for fuck’s sake Betty.  What the hell are we arguing about if we both think it’s bad and needs to go? And why is it even in here in the first place?”

“It’s in there because we were waiting on your egregiously late piece of sub Lovecraftian geek porn.  I was filling space.  Since you finally got your ass in gear we don’t need it anymore. So spike it.”  She had this way of making him feel like he lost, even when he won an argument.  It was infuriating.

They worked on pagination for another couple of hours with surprisingly little conflict, and then he wrote kickers for a few of the longer submissions, hoping to tempt the reader to give a story a chance.  She made sure the submissions were correctly attributed and that the running heads and page numbers and folios were in place.  Finally it seemed that they were done.  He clicked back to the front page, checked the position of the artwork and the masthead and looked over at her with a questioning expression to see if she was satisfied. She nodded her approval and, at last, under the words “Joint Editors”, he typed "Betty Cooper & Jughead Jones.”    As he clicked ‘save’ something shifted in his field of vision.  He was alarmed, pushing back from the desk and looking around, meeting her startled eyes.  Her green eyes, which weren’t green anymore.  He couldn’t describe what colour they were, there were no words.

“What just happened?” she whispered, obviously badly frightened.  

“Does…does anything look different to you?” he replied, hesitantly, reaching for his phone.

“Yes, everything.  What’s going on?”

“I’m not sure. Look at this.” He pulled up the app.  On the screen he could see, without difficulty, a cartoon cat, Pusheen maybe, its paws deep in some dough.  The caption read “I knead you.” As he read the words in his head, she said them aloud. “Fuuuuck,” he murmured.  “I think we’re soulmates, Princess.”

[moviegroovies]

confession time: for someone who (semi) actively runs a movie blog, i really haven’t seen a lot of classic movies.

(i know this comes as a shock for those of y’all who have been subjected to nothing but my half-baked thoughtpieces on bad 80′s horror for the past couple of years, but bear with me.) 

to be honest, even this review doesn’t REALLY represent me making an active choice to remedy that so much as it does me pulling a long con where i endear myself to marilyn monroe by watching her movies to get myself excited to watch the miniseries blonde (2001), for abnormally pretty, young jensen ackles purposes*, but let’s not dwell on all that. the practical result is the same; i watched some like it hot (1959). now, i hope y’all are ready for a few some like it Thoughts™:

first, idk how much attention y’all have been paying to the loose bits of personal lore i occasionally scatter within my reviews, but one thing about myself that i feel i’ve been pretty open about is the fact that i’m trans. this being so, and knowing not a whole lot about the movie beyond the very basic premise “1959 extended man in a dress gag,” i can’t say i went in with the highest of expectations. imagine my surprise, then, when the gender aspect of this movie was... actually pretty good? i mean, full disclosure, it’s not exactly gender studies, but it’s passable! it’s tolerable! there were even a few moments where i felt inclined to say the words “oh, GENDER?” out loud!

perhaps most impressively, i’d say the Cis Creator Cringe Factor of some like it hot was actually impressively LOWER than a lot of modern moves with genderswapping premises tend to be. like, i know that one definite explanation for that would be the fact that trans experiences are more widespread today, so modern filmmakers don’t feel comfortable playing with ideas like this without at least giving lipservice to them, while the era that bore some like it hot didn’t face the same “pressure,” but, okay. listen. compared to another movie i watched recently--freaky (2020), in which a teenage girl swaps bodies with serial killer vince vaugn, featuring one incredibly anvilicious scene where, upon being informed by a gay boy that she’s in the men’s bathroom, the girl’s best friend retorts, “she [vince vaugn]’s got a dick in her hand, and you’re wearing chanel no. 5. i think we’re past labels.”--some like it hot, a movie older than my father, was wayyyy easier to watch**. actually, you know what? yeah. listen to me. cis content creators? movie producers? i’m talking to you. DON’T EVEN BRING GENDER (or gender “identities”... which is an incredibly gross term, anyway) UP IF YOU’RE NOT PLANNING TO DO SOMETHING WITH IT. sincerely, this particular bad taste corner of the trans community :).

...anyway.

some like it hot, by contrast, did it right. YES, the premise of the movie was two presumably cis men in disguise as women. i’ll put that in the open. however, there was a certain... i don’t know if “respect” is the right word, but there was an avoidance, at least, of the usual predatory tropes. in fact, the worst behavior by far from either main character comes when joe manages to take off his female disguise, donning another, male persona and using things that sugar (marilyn’s character) confided in “josephine” to create a nonthreatening, desirable “millionaire” in order to trick her into sex. okay, like i said, it’s not gender studies, but, the humor in some like it hot comes from generally the right place. joe and jerry don their female disguises in a matter that in quite literally life and death for them (and it’s more than the creators ever thought of, i’m sure, but there IS an interesting analysis to be had of them needing to pass to live), which to a degree removes the usual pitfalls of male to female crossdressing as a gag; they’re neither doing it for lecherous reasons, nor to parody the female experience. this being a comedy, there is a degree of humor found in the situation, but it’s directed at jerry and joe, the characters, more than their disguises. the general assumption is that they both pass without question, as long as they’re wearing their ladies’ clothes; jerry once comments that he’s “not even pretty,” but it’s never an issue to contend with. 

wrt the crossdressing, the worst moment for me, personally, was a scene on the train when jerry prepared to take off the disguise in order to sleep with sugar, and even this ends up comedically averted at jerry’s expense.

and speaking of jerry.

jerry is actually the most compelling part of the movie for me, especially viewing it through the lens of gender. while joe, who gets the girl and manages to spend large chunks of the latter part of the film in his second, male disguise, never thinks too much about what they’re doing beyond the survival aspect of it, jerry is the one who, erm, “gets into character.” joe’s female name is simply josephine; before they get on the train with the woman musicians, it’s assumed that jerry will be going by “geraldine.” however, when they give their introductions, the duo becomes josephine... and daphne. 

as the movie progresses, this distinction grows more pronounced; when joe has to remind a smitten jerry on the train that he’s a girl, referring to their disguises, jerry miserably repeats the affirmation: “i’m a girl. i’m a girl. i want to die. i’m a girl.” later on, however, as joe’s relationship with sugar develops, “daphne” becomes acquainted with local horndog millionaire osgood, who he at first dislikes, but comes around to after being forced on a date as part of joe’s plan to trick sugar. after seeing jerry excited by the prospect of marrying osgood, a bewildered joe has to remind jerry why it’s an impossibility, and in the same miserable tone as before, jerry/daphne muddles through a new affirmation, one that definitely didn’t ring false to my trans ears: “i’m a boy. i’m a boy. i want to die. i’m a boy.” 

hm. actually, now i’m thinking about a trans male reading of joe. he was the one at first resistant to taking the job (with the all-female band), when they only needed money, and not a place to hide from an upset mob boss, but also the one who seems to know more about the role when it comes time to get into character. while jerrydaphne gets increasingly comfortable with femininity as time passes, joe never performs it in anything but a perfunctory, necessary way, and sloughs the costume EVEN WHEN the danger of being found out has not yet passed, because pretending for such a long period of time is just untenable. something about passing for female being a safe haven and a burden for both closeted (re-closeted, in this case) trans men and out trans women?

anyway. by the end, though both osgood and sugar do find out the truth about the disguises, sugar seems to instantly forgive joe for his treacherousness (again, referring more to his actions as the shell millionaire than his escapade in drag), while osgood appears unbothered by daphne’s truth, leading to an ambiguous ending for the futures of the characters, and any realizations that might come later.

no, it’s not the “real transgender experience.” it (thankfully) never claims to be. BUT, being trans myself, there were some moments that made me feel linked to our protagonists, and relatively few, if any, that made me feel alienated. all in all, that’s a lot more than i hoped for going in, so that’s what i’m happy with.

watch some like it hot, y’all. it’s a good movie in a timeless way, and, as modern movies appealing to short-lived trends that will feel outdated next week (if not by the very time of their release) will show you, that’s more than it needed to be. 

*since my original draft of this post, i DID watch blonde, and i don’t know if that’s technically fair game for this blog (not exactly a movie) or what, but 6/10. fairly well done piece of art but just BEATINGLY tragic, so proceed with caution. jensen ackles literally is THAT PRETTY though, so the jackles cut i give a strong 11/10. i am a homosexual.   **i would like to clarify that this isn’t me telling you not to watch freaky. yes, some of the dialogue is tragically riverdaleian, but there’s also a scene where vince vaugn makes out with a teenage boy. so,

[lesbian-vmin]

I don't know if I'm delusional. Between the songs Winter Bear, Sweet Nght, and Blue and Gray have the same impression. Tae is confiding or chatting with someone before his sleep. Am I wrong? If you don't mind. can you make an analysis about this.

Ah, I really try to avoid doing song analyses because I don’t want to make assumptions that could be a far stretch from the truth. I’m more than happy to analyze a song that’s confirmed for one reason or another, but I try to stay away from ones that haven’t been confirmed for any specific purpose.

Winter Bear and Sweet Night are both songs that I’ve thought of as Vmin songs already, in a theoretical mindset (since they’re not confirmed). As for Blue and Gray, this one goes on a different level for me. 

Because I do want to talk about the songs (and this ask gives me an opportunity to do so), I’ll do you the service of providing you with a real answer, but not without a disclaimer. So. This all just in theory. I’m not concluding the songs to have these meanings for sure, and I’m not confirming them as Vmin songs (because that’s not my place, obviously). But nor am I trying to convince anyone that they are Vmin songs. For the purpose of this analysis (as this is a blog that focuses on vmin) I will be treating them as such. Disclaimer disclaimer. Etc. Thank you. (Sorry. I’m sure the average reader knows all of this, but some people take things too seriously, as if they think people can’t speculate and have to believe every word they say. As if human minds aren’t complex. As if science would have progressed to us knowing we revolve around the sun without people questioning face value but okay)

(BELOW THE CUT)

WINTER BEAR

So, it’s pretty obvious this song means a lot to Jimin. He’s always pretty supportive of Taehyung’s songs, but this song seemed to really mean a lot to him. I’m not sure why? What is so different about this song compared to Taehyung’s other songs? Maybe it’s just his favorite? Or maybe there’s a reason it’s his favorite. I’ve wanted to do an analysis on this for a while, but I try not to go on assumptions on this blog, and I also wouldn’t know where to begin. But one thing is clear. This song holds a special place in Jimin’s heart.

One theory that I’ve seen of this song is that it could be about Taehyung’s grandmother, as it was apparently released on the third anniversary of her death (I didn’t know which day exactly she passed). Anyhow, I don’t think Taehyung has talked publicly that that’s the meaning of the song (and people assumed 4 o’clock was about his grandmother as well, even after Namjoon confirmed it was about a friend). 

I do, however, recall seeing a vlive where he said the song was inspired by a movie. And I’m thinking it was a romantic film. About a romantic love. (I will link it here if I find it again, but edit this if I’m wrong.)

Out of respect for his grandmother, and the possibility of the song having to do with her, I wanted to acknowledge that as one of the possible meanings. But, again, for the purpose of this ask, I’m focusing on the Vmin connection. (And the fact that I’m pretty sure Taehyung said it was inspired by a romantic film...but I might even have the song in which he said that about mixed up).

Anyway, I think the lines you are referring to is where he says “you sleep so happily. I wish you a good night”

Taehyung and Jimin seem like they often talk to each other when they have trouble sleeping. They even sleep together often (on camera, and because of Taehyung casually mentioning how he asked Jimin to sleep with him off camera -- and that one time Jimin said Taehyung came to his room after he had a nightmare, when he gifted Taehyung the dream catcher -- I’m going to say it’s probably safe to assume it’s normal for them to sleep together off camera, too).

SWEET NIGHT

When Sweet Night was released, I really got some pretty strong gay love vibes from the song. It could be because I, myself, am gay. But the song always sounded to me like it was two best friends who would sleep together (sharing the same bed, not in a sexual way) and one of them (Taehyung) wakes up one day feeling more. I always imagined that he woke up with the person he’s singing about next to him, but I could be wrong. Anyway, that’s the part that got me feeling it was a gay love song. Because, assuming it’s about Jimin, it’s pretty normal for them to sleep together. They’ve shared a room for a long time, and they often shared beds. It’s not so normal to sleep with your opposite sex best friend, waking up next to them. Unless you have a friends-with-benefits type thing. I guess. But even then, isn’t it a general rule that you don’t actually stay the night?

Another reason this song felt more gay than straight to me was the general confusing Taehyung is expressing. I’ve mentioned before that BTS is well aware of LGBT, but it doesn’t mean it was always like that. I think they became aware of a lot of things as they got older (like many of us do). Also, if both Taehyung and Jimin are gay, it probably took a while for them to admit it to each other.

Romantic movies set aside, I think it’s pretty rare for straight people to have such deep feelings for each other (or someone) and be totally unaware of it. Realistically. This is all going on my own experiences, but most of the straight couples in my life didn’t have to talk to each other for several months before they officially started dating. The gay couples? It was always really frustrating to watch them come to terms with their feelings for each other. Especially when one or both of them weren’t totally comfortable with who they were yet. 

Romantic movies will sometimes tell you a different tale, but they’re movies. And when they do tell a different tale, it’s usually a girl liking a douchy guy instead of her sweet best friend, only to end up with her bestie in the end.

Anyway, let’s talk about the talking while going to sleep part. This to me sounds like the two friends are lying in bed together (or maybe sitting). The one singing (Taehyung) has a lot going through his mind, and his heart is pounding. It sounds like him talking to this person this night is actually a confession. He woke up one day feeling different toward this person he was sleeping next to, and on some other night, he gets all of it off of his chest. I’ve seen a lot of people say that this is the story of a love that never happened, but I don’t see it that way. I think it’s an inconclusive story about a confession being made. We don’t get to hear the resolve.

Assuming it is a Vmin song, I think the resolve is a good one. Because I just think that Jimin would be pretty uncomfortable if Taehyung was writing romantic songs about him and publishing them, knowing that Jimin doesn’t feel the same.

BLUE AND GRAY

For anyone who doesn’t know, this is included on the list because it was initially supposed to be on Taehyung’s mix tape. It’s just that BTS liked the song so much, and he’s not selfish, so it became a BTS song instead.

This one, he’s looking for an angel because he’s having trouble sleeping. He mentions sending his words up into the air, and he falls asleep at dawn.

This song talks about some deeper issues like anxiety and depression, and it’s a song that’s really personal to him. I think the members probably know a lot of the story behind the song, and they probably know a lot about Taehyung’s struggles that led to this song. I think that’s why they liked it so much and wanted it to be part of the album instead of his own song.

I don’t necessarily feel right making this song about a ship, because it’s clearly very personal and talks about some issues Taehyung has had to deal with. However, his members (and his family, and I’m sure other friends) are his support system. (As well as the fans, ofc). He’s called Jimin an angel before, and we know that they often text or call each other when they have trouble sleeping. I’m not going to say that this song is about Vmin, but if Taehyung honestly has a lot of anxiety and worries while trying to go to sleep, I’m glad that he has Jimin to support him. It’s nice to have that friend who is always there for you, especially at times like that when you really need them. Maybe Jimin is the angel in the song. I don’t know.

[tiasgarden]

friendly competition

So this is dedicated to my bestie @redwingsupportgroup as she requested it and so yeah she’s the best and i highly suggest you follow her if you don’t already!  okay now on with the story!

It was a partly cloudy day in Queens New York.  It was fall and the multi colored leaves filed the ground.  Luckily it was Saturday and  MJ had something fun planned for the weekend.  Something originally she wasn’t too keen on attending.

“Oh come on MJ, you will love them. They are two super cool guys. “ Peter kept insisting that she go along with him.

SO here was the day, a Saturday and the four of them were meeting at this pumpkin patch place.  Such a cheesy place to meet but Peter suggested they do some sort of fall related activity.

What a dork.

She was meeting Peter at his place before May took the two of them to New Jersey where they would find the pumpkin patch.

As she entered the lobby to Peter’s apartment she was surprised that he was already there with May waiting for her.

“ Hey sweetie!” May says as she embraces her in a hug which she lightly hugs back.

Hugs.

They were something MJ was getting used to. She didn’t hate nor love them just yet.  They were just a quick showing of affection, as cheesy as that sounds.

“ Hey Parker, so ready to find the perfect pumpkin? If that even is a thing..”  She says as they walk out the door and over to May’s car.

The ride over was no more than 45 minutes. In which Peter had managed to tell a few stories about his first time meeting Sam and Bucky. How it was a huge battle and all. MJ managed to take in a few words before turning her attention back to the book she brought.  Surprisingly she didn’t get motion sickness in cars , so she could read to her hearts content.

Finally they had managed to pull into the lot and saw many families.

It was a little overwhelming for MJ as growing up, MJ never went and did these types of things with her family. Often they never even got a pumpkin, which looking back slightly bothered MJ.

As they got out of the car, she could see Peter scanning for where Sam and Bucky could be. Turns out the two had a plan to sneak up on him.  MJ could see them creeping up on Peter and she wanted to say something but she didn’t want an opportunity to miss Peter getting scared.

“ I’ll be walking around here! Let me know when you two are ready to head back!” May said as she left them.

“ BOO”  the two men behind Peter yelled.

Seeing Peter jump, made MJ laugh, though she tried to hide it. She didn’t need to be super cruel especially to Peter.

“ Hey Peter” Sam said as he reached out to shake Peter’s hand.

Peter looked at him before giving him a smile and shaking his hand back.

“Hey Sam and Bucky it’s so nice to see you two again! It’s been so long since I’ve seen you both” Peter said a little too enthusiastically.

“ Wow does he ever not act super enthusiastic?” Bucky said walking over to MJ

“ Not usually no. just don’t get him to talk about star wars. He gets too hyped up over those films” MJ said looking at Bucky.

“ Oh my apologizes, I’m Bucky. I’m sure you have heard about me from your friend.” He said as he reached out to shake MJ’s hand.

“ Yeah see I don’t do hand shakes. Too many germs and the whole gesture feels forced, but uh its nice to meet you Bucky, I’m Michelle” MJ says as Peter walks up next to her.

“ So how about we go look for a pumpkin? I already thought about what we could carve into it!” Peter said as he reached out to take MJ’s hand which she gladly took.

“ Woah woah, you just told me hand shakes were gross and forced, why the hell are you holding his  hand so calmly?” Bucky said as he walked on the other side of MJ.

“ Well first that’s hand shakes. Second Peter is the exception as he is my boyfriend and not some random person I just met” MJ said rolling her eyes.

“ Bucky calm down,  MJ is a tough cookie , we have to earn her trust and maybe then she will like us more. We just met her after all” Sam said  trying to ease Bucky’s nerves.

“ Did you know Peter and her were dating? He never mentioned that, I never thought Peter would get a girlfriend yet alone someone like her. “ Bucky said to Sam  as they reached the part where the pumpkins were.

“We will discuss later we are here to have a nice time with the kid” Sam said.

“ Okay I’m going to find the best pumpkin for us , in all of queens our pumpkin will be the best” MJ said smiling at Peter as he squeezed her hand before letting her go.

Turns out Bucky had the same thought. Well not for Queens but just to find the Best Pumpkin.

MJ and Bucky walked through EACH row of pumpkins.  Meanwhile Peter and Sam were both shaking their heads. While the two of them were just fine with any pumpkin, MJ and Bucky were seriously over competitive.

The two of them trying to look over each pumpkin for a few seconds before declaring it was not good enough. This went on for 15 minutes which felt like hours.

Finally though MJ had found it.

“ AHA! I found the best most perfect pumpkin!” She said as she attempted to pick it up. She was struggling but tried her hardest before calling Peter over.

“ No allow me. It probably isn’t too heavy anyway.” Bucky replied as he lifted the pumpkin into his arms.

“ Wait what about your pumpkin? Aren’t you and Sam going to need one for Halloween?” MJ asked in a suspicious tone.

Bucky shook his head and laughed. He had perfectly tricked MJ into thinking He was going to get a pumpkin when in reality he just wanted to earn her trust.

“ I never needed a pumpkin, I just wanted to see who could find one first. You won , but that was it. Just some friendly competition. “ Bucky told her as she glared him down.

“ Well if you think you earned my trust , you certainty haven’t.  You made me sweat for no reason. Now on the car ride home I’ll smell like mud which probably May will not be happy about” MJ said turning away from him to go find Peter.

“ So are we friends or in the process of becoming friends?” Bucky asked as he stood with MJ’s pumpkin.

“Maybe, but  I believe we will need to do another competition to truly see if you are someone who I’d want to be friends with. Plus I know nothing about you other than the basic’s peter’s told me” MJ said  as she approached peter.

“ Woah MJ the pumpkin looks wonderful! you truly picked the best one out of the whole field!” Peter said as MJ blushed as she went to Peter’s side.

“ Parker, you know for a fact I wouldn’t take home nothing than the best pumpkin for us. We are going to have the best pumpkin in Queens! so what were you and Sam up to while me and Bucky were having a competition?” MJ asked

“ We were just catching up, seeing how his life in Louisiana is and I was telling him about how school is going and some of the missions I’ve been on. Just cool dude stuff” Peter replied while MJ playfully smacked him.

“ Don’t ever say cool dude stuff again or I’ll stop talking to you” MJ threatened with a loving glare.”

“ Okay deal” Peter said.

When they walked to the car , the two of them knew they had to say goodbye to Sam and Bucky.

“ It was nice seeing you kid” Sam said as he pulled Peter in for a hug.

Meanwhile MJ took this time to walk with Bucky to the back of the car to put the pumpkin in.

“It was nice meeting you Michelle. I hope sometime in the future we can have another friendly completion. Maybe a strength test?” Bucky offered knowing he’d win hands down.

“ Nah you would win that, don’t forget I know you have a metal arm and are super strong.  I was thinking something more chill like a baking competition cause I bake the best deserts.” MJ said as she got into the car.

“ Oh It’s on. I love to bake also, well sometimes, so ill practice so next time it will be an even match” Bucky said before closing the door where MJ was sitting.

As May began to pull out of her spot, Peter and MJ waved to Sam and Bucky. They knew it would be a while till they saw them again but the time they had spent was special. SO what was MJ’s impression on Bucky?

She liked him. He was a decent person, though she didn’t know if they would ever become friends, it was nice knowing she had another person to talk to.  Yeah it was a good day, now on the car ride home she would just have to convince Peter to carve something scary into their pumpkin and not a stupid black cat.

fin

[twiceblackvelvet]

Eclipse

Request; Could I request for LOONA kim lip with prompt "were you singing my song?", fluff? Thank you! ^^

A/N; i lost this request somewhere. tumblr hates me here. i took this on a little bit of a different route than the usual because well, it wouldn’t be me if i didn’t try to be different lol. anyway! enjoy anon. sorry for the wait. 

Warm air traps you in place sitting idly, headphones placed in your ears, and a glass of water filled to the brim with ice placed beside your leg. The window slightly ajar to allow the very little breeze on offer to hit your skin, a small offering of mercy from the rays beaming down from above. Your shadow being illuminated by the deadly sun being your only companion other than the herds of people walking around the city below you. All of which likely suffering from the heatwave far worse. 

It’s calm, peaceful, albeit for the beads of sweat threatening to pour down your forehead at any given moment. The soft melody playing from your phone up to your headphones is particularly catchy, though, you’re not sure if you’ve heard it or not before now. Whoever is singing has a delightful tone that makes the hairs on your arm stand to attention. It’s beautiful you think. You quickly tap the little heart on the screen to make sure you don’t lose it amongst the playlist. 

Eclipse.

It somehow becomes the song for you in the weeks following. Every time you listen to it your ears take note to different parts of the song that you hadn’t picked up on previously. Be it the instrumental, the adlibs, or just the voice. Anyone else would have been driven to insanity after having listened to it as often as you have, and yet, you catch yourself more often than not using the repeat feature. 

Part of you doesn’t wish to learn more about the person behind the angelic voice, after all, sometimes that can lead to disappointment if it turns out they’re a beautiful singer but an awful person. Yet, the girl displayed on the screen has you more than intrigued if truth be told. You soon learn that she isn’t a solo artist as you had assumed but rather part of a group with eleven other people. After consuming all of their music in one afternoon, it becomes clear to you that whilst all of their music is to your liking, her own song stands out the most to you. 

It’s like the shuffle option on your phone just knows when to hit you with those atmospheric synths,  sitting on a train headed towards work. It’s a quiet day, people simply seated and minding their own business which is a relief. Your headphones placed firmly inside your ears, the lack of noise surrounding you is a huge upgrade from the usual commotion you’ve grown used to dealing with. Your hand resting atop your lap gently taps along to the beat as you zone out briefly until the train comes to a halt. 

Lack of people around is not a privilege you’re offered once you’re out of the station as the streets are lined with people scurrying along, likely doing the same as you. You instinctively turn the volume up to an almost deafening level before striding onward. 

Draining. That’s the only way to describe your day. Everything that could go wrong, managed to, and everything that could go right evaded you like the plague. The walk home made even more excruciating by the fact that your headphones have decided to give up on you. Every step feels like it’s going to be your last if you aren’t in the comfort and safety of your own home soon. 

Without even realizing it, you slowly begin to hum a tune as you walk, your brain’s way of offering you something to focus on other than the dark streets ahead. The lyrics soon begin to jumble out of your mouth too, not in the correct order, key or rhythm they’re supposed to, but you do your best to sound quietly decent. It’s relaxing and makes you feel a little bit more at ease. 

Well, it would, if it weren’t for some very loud steps from behind you beginning to grow closer and closer to you. Your first instinct is to swing around extremely fast and hopefully knock whoever this strange person is flying far enough away from you to be able to at least get a head start on them. However, they’re a lot quicker than you imagined and instead their body collides with your own and the two of you end up laying in a heap in the middle of the sidewalk together. 

You’ve seen this happen plenty of times on television or in films, yet what they don’t show you or explain is just how painful it is to hit the ground with force and have a whole other body on top of your own. A visit to the chiropractor will definitely be happening in the foreseeable. 

“I’m so sorry, oh my god! Are you okay?” The words hit your ears like a sharp sting, either that or this collision has truly broken your spine. “Please say something.” 

Your eyes readjust to look up at the owner of the body still uncomfortably pressed against your own. A hood is pulled up over their head but you can see some brown flowing hair poking out of the side of it. Dark eyes that are wide and alarmed, likely because you still haven’t said a word or that it’s only just become aware to them that they’re pressing down onto you. 

“Sorry, again,” the stranger apologizes once more as she finally stands up and offers a hand for you to grab. “Come on, you can’t lay there and be silent, either speak or get up at least.” A chuckle follows her words and you’re convinced it’s the softest thing you’ve ever heard. 

Latching onto her hand, you finally stand on your own two feet once more. Her grip almost crushes the bones in your own, but she relinquishes it as soon as she sees that you’re okay. 

“Do you usually run into people at full force?” You ask, annoyed tone obvious and aiming right for her. 

“N-no.” The stranger stutters. “I just got a little bit excited when I heard you singing, can you do it again?” 

Great, you think, not only has she managed to damage your entire frame but now she’s after your sanity too having overheard your out of tune singing, if you can call it that. 

“No? I wasn’t singing for you. It’s scary out here, there are random people who will run right into you after all.” 

Almost in slow motion, or maybe it’s just the trance-like state she’s put you into, the woman removes the hood covering the majority of her head. Those brown locks of hair end up sliding down her back gracefully and her features become clearer without the darkness of the material blocking them. She looks, familiar. Though you’re certain the two of you have never met before. 

“Please, just like a few seconds of it and then I’ll leave you alone, I promise.” Her begging right before you bizarrely makes your heart swell inside your chest. Never did you imagine that this was the encounter you’d be receiving when you first heard the impending footsteps behind you. 

“Why?” 

She clears her throat and looks around awkwardly as if there are people around to overhear your conversation. There isn’t. 

“I think it was my song you were singing.” Though the words exit her mouth at a normal rate, time seems to slow down between you both the more she continues. That and you’re ready for the world to swallow you whole, spit you back out, and then swallow you again. Because, yes, that familiarity you felt stems from the fact that this is Kim Lip stood right before you. “It sounded really pretty, please.”

All of the air in your lungs couldn’t force the song out of your throat even if you wanted to accept her request. But you definitely don’t. Frankly, you’re embarrassed enough and you can’t imagine how she must be feeling about it all. It’s best for both of you if you simply walk away now and forget this ever happened. Which is what you attempt to do. However, her hand latches onto your coat and pulls you back into place in front of her. 

“Come on, I’ll sing it with you.” She stares deep into your eyes. Genuine in her approach, you can’t help but give in to her request.

Despite having heard the song several times and just singing it merely seconds ago, hearing Kim Lip right before you softly let out the lyrics herself, you stumble over a few of the words which earn you a bright smile from her. Your own embarrassment being the only coherent thought in your mind other than just how perfect she sounds and that anyone would believe you’re listening to the version from your phone and not a real person before you. 

She suddenly grasps your hand, presumably to be encouraging, however, your nerves get the better of you and suddenly you can feel it shaking against her own skin. She doesn’t let go, simply holds it a little tighter.

“You’re a good singer.” She stops mid-song to not just tell you but almost convince you. Her features show that she can sense you aren’t confident in this moment but she’s imploring you to try or at least one day believe it. “Thank you so much for singing with me.”

Her hand finally let’s go of your own and she places the hood back over her head, her face darkening in the process to where all you can properly see are her sparkling eyes that you’re sure look as if they’re on the verge of tears, though, you’re unsure why. 

“Are you okay?” You decide to ask her. 

She heaves a deep sigh and looks away from you briefly before answering. 

“I’m fine, I’ve just never heard someone else sing my song yet.” The corners of her lips curve up into a brief smile before she continues. “Thank you, I should probably head back but please keep singing. I might see you around someday.” 

Before you even attempt to thank her yourself, she’s darting off just as fast as she collided with you into the night. When you began your day, never did you imagine such a thing would happen, nor are you certain it actually has, however, a quick nip to your arm proves you are awake and not in a state of sleep to dream this whole thing up. 

The Kim Lip heard you sing her song, and liked it? 

It’s a small world after all. 

[flovey-dovey]

Part 2 of my thoughts on Klaus

Spoilers! Did I mention that already?

When they watch Margu playing in the light of dawn, Jesper puts his hand on Klaus’ arm and keeps it there rather than excitedly pat it once or twice to get his attention like a simple platonic friend might. And while Jesper watches her, Klaus watches Jesper with a very warm, affectionate look that Jesper doesn’t try to shirk or shrug awkwardly off.

When Klaus puts his hand on his back, Jesper just smiles wider, and when they return to Klaus’ property the look on the woodsman’s face as he listened to Jesper talk like a doting parent and his solid “I do” in reply to what he was saying says even more.

Heck- part of Klaus’ tragic past was that he and his wife never got to have children no matter how much they wanted and waited, and here comes Jesper with every child in Smeerenburg and beyond at his heels. Klaus even tells him this past, openly, freely and even with a chuckle or two, and right after saying how his life had fallen into aimless misery turns to say “and then you came along.”. Klaus even has Jesper blindfolded before showing him the sleigh with both their names carved into it at what was most likely his request.

Very couple-like and very sweet in my opinion. After the “liar revealed” scene, Klaus sees his name as he climbs in and hesitates, clearly thinking of him.

(also, notice in this shot how Jesper is centered with Klaus- not Alva)

And let’s not forget the mountainside scene after the big chase or the look on Klaus’ face when Jesper echoes his wife’s words with full conviction: “A true selfless act always sparks another”.

Now we’re nearing the end of the movie, so let’s talk about Jesper’s father some more. In the last quarter of the movie, his father comes back and he and Jesper go to the boat that would take them back home. Before they cast off, though, it’s said not long later that Jesper told his father “everything” and how he thought he’d be mad at him. Why? If it was work related, why would Jesper be afraid his father would get upset by him wanting to stay and do the job he gave him? That he wanted him to have? Why would he be afraid his father would get mad at him for finding love in Alva, if that truly was the case? Could it be that part of “everything” was how Jesper did find love, but that it was in someone who didn’t fit into society’s unrelentingly heteronormative mold (gonna be using that word a bit but I’m tired so bear with me), and as a result meant he wouldn’t fit either? Which brings me to a minor point of my opinion: did Jesper ever fit? It could’ve been another reason why his father was trying so hard to impose socially acceptable opportunities on him, or why Jesper had rebelled against them so stubbornly. Wishful thinking, I suppose.

(also, notice the look on Jesper’s face here when confronted by his father’s silent urging for him to come out with whatever he knew he had on his mind)

Before I wrap this up, here are a few other bits and pieces I wanted to mention:

* When Jesper talks at Margu after realizing their toy inventory was running low, he says “they” were running out of toys rather than “he” (Klaus) was running out of toys, which his arrogant self in the first half-ish part of the movie would’ve surely said.

* During one of the times Jesper talks at Margu and asked what he was supposed to do if he failed, he mentions Klaus and doesn’t even bring up Alva.

* Jesper, while talking to Alva about the school’s turnaround and her own change in outlook, looks and sounds more confused/baffled than teasing, flirty or pleased.

* The strongest moment Jesper and Alva share, emotionally, is never more than the one they share while helping Margu write her letter to Klaus. To my memory, he and Klaus share two very prominent ones, with a possible third or fourth (or fifth or sixth) on top of that.

* Alva gives Klaus a peck on the cheek instead of Jesper, who she presumably now has romantic feelings for. Why don’t they kiss before the ending “where are they now” bit? At all?

* Alva, when watching the townies ice skating with Jesper, doesn’t move to pull him out onto the ice for some potentially romantic happenings if she had turned to see the troubled look on his face, laughing and smiling to try and cheer him up or going out on the town to partake in the festivities. This could’ve shown us more of Alva’s character and it would’ve been better than just NARRATING IT AT THE ENDING. And, yes, I know movies have deadlines, but it didn’t have to be more than ten seconds long and could’ve given a look into the town’s culture as it started to reform, and afterwards Jesper could’ve still gone back to the post office to build Margu’s little sleigh, possibly with some encouragement from Alva. Nothing had to change, but it wouldn’t have hurt to at least show their romance forming since a few seconds can go a long way.

* During the ending chase, Klaus and Jesper are literally having a lover’s quarrel.

* Klaus acting like an embarrassed husband when he steps up all covered in red from head to toe and Jesper joking with him about it, earning another hearty laugh from Klaus with ease, and Klaus’ apparent concern when Jesper urges his father outside to talk privately.

* The entirety of the reindeer scene and as they ride off, laughing, when their eyes meet and they realize they were having fun in each other’s company- very naturally, at that.

* Klaus lamenting how their time working together was coming to an end and with it their main reason for being with each other, as underplayed as the both of them make it seem.

* Jesper makes Klaus laugh; them sharing laughs together where I don’t recall seeing Jesper having the same thing with Alva, nor do I remember seeing her making him laugh.

* Klaus picking up and just holding Jesper will never not be cute to me.

So, in short, I hate heteronormative romances- especially when they come out of nowhere and have to be NARRATED at the END of the movie with little to no prior build up or implications that, yes, this is how you should’ve been expecting things to end up (yes I’m still upset about the ending). I saw it coming the second I saw the official trailer and after witnessing all the bonding between Klaus and Jesper I can’t help but feel cheated- dragged along for the ride like I was watching the Titanic sinking as someone was describing an entirely different outcome at the same time. They built Klaus and Jesper’s relationship- romantic, platonic, what-have-you- and then ripped it away to shove something completely unwarranted into my face instead.

If they’re going to have the guy get together with the girl, if they have interactions that show the feeling is mutual and more than friendship, trust and respect (which every good romance should have by default), if they WANT to be together and feel attracted and desire to be together, then I’m all for it- that’s what I expect love to be. But I still feel betrayed and sad and angry at the ending, especially since I feel like Alva and Jesper got together for the simple reason of deterring people like me from thinking Jesper and Klaus would or should end up together, even to the point of killing him off. I can’t prove it, and I’m sure that’s not why he died, but I’m going to say something that I know sounds mean but I don’t mean it spitefully:

I don’t care.

I don’t care if Klaus’ death and the ending it was attached to was poetic or happy-sad, bittersweet or what-have-you. I can’t help but not care because I literally haven’t seen anything break the relationship mold in a movie since I was shown my first movie or read my first romantic novel.

In any case, this movie came so, so close to being the most cathartic thing I’ve ever seen and it makes me so, so sad to have it fall prey to a completely standard method of storytelling endings when it presented such a vibrant and unique setting with the done-to-death theme of Christmas. You don’t even know how sad it makes me where, in this world of cowards afraid to make art for fear of losing money (which, I understand, everybody needs) or properly represent underrepresented groups of individuals or have a man and woman become friends and REMAIN purely friends- maybe even being the wingman/woman for their own relationship- I, against my fears, genuinely thought this film, this beautiful, inspiring masterpiece of animation, would be able to give me the shameless, unabashed and genuine non-heteronormative love I have still yet to see in a movie that doesn’t end in tragedy or act to disgrace anyone from that spectrum.

Klaus and Jesper saw parts of each other- ugly, angry, funny and secret- that nobody else saw, did things for each other that for the life of me I couldn’t find being done for the romance we were “supposed” to root for or even see coming (but, come on, “of course” they got together- what were you expecting, you wishful idiot?). For a movie with the underlying theme of how love was always better than letting spite fester into hate, it sure didn’t give me much to believe in terms of Jesper and Alva hooking up in the end. They could’ve had a friendly sort of love, but we can’t always get what we want. On that note, Pumpkin and Olaf (if that’s what his name is- I forget) getting married in the ending could’ve posed to the two clans “you hate each other, but don’t you love me?”, putting the leaders of both clans in the position of questioning their history and tradition of generations past so they didn’t lose the bonds they have in the present and that new traditions could be worth the effort for the sake of a better future. It’d be nice to see.

Anyway, no matter how it ended, you can’t tell me that Klaus and Jesper weren’t pining for each other more and more throughout the film. You can’t. Because I saw it, and no amount of ham-fisted “oh by the way” narration had to tell me it was happening or was planned “all along”.

Peace out and Merry Christmas to you all, gosh dang it.

- Flovey~Dovey

[365days365movies]

February 2, 2021: Pretty Woman (Review)

Before I jump right into this review, I would like to say something about this movie: it’s timeless, while not aging super well for a couple of reasons. Those reasons make this film a tad problematic, and they are as follows, at least according to me:

Prostitution: Look, in NO WAY can I claim to be an expert, or very knowledgeable on culture in the world of sex workers, duh. But, given changing opinions in this during the past three decades since this film came out, this is bound to seem a little dated. Still, some credit for Edward not being...terribly condescending to her throughout this movie. Again, this is just something I’m noting. If anyone with more expertise knows more about how sex workers feel about this film, hit me up; I’m quite curious.

Edward: Speaking of Edward, though, I know that his character came off at the time as similar to Gordon Gekko from Wall Street (can’t confirm, never seen it), and stereotypical businessman characters (and actual people) from the time, and that he was probably considered quite suave and cool at that time. And don’t get me wrong, Edward is...fine...but living in 2021, and in the current political climate in America...dude comes off like a STRAIGHT sociopath throughout this movie. Yeah, no, less Prince Charming, more Prince Harming. I saw somebody describe him as a romantic Patrick Bateman, and GODDAMN does that resonate. That Zodiac Killer joke from the Recap? That was only slightly kidding, real talk.

I’m sure there are more (especially in terms of gender politics and sexism, but I AM NOT QUALIFIED ENOUGH FOR THAT), but these are the ones that came to me during the watching of the film. Anyway, shall we continue? Because I really DID like this movie, despite some problems with it. Let’s get the Review started!

Review

Cast and Acting: 9/10

Edward might be a sociopath, but I don’t lame Richard Gere for that at all. He works through the character to create some legit emotional development for him, and I appreciate it quite a bit. But he’s not the draw here. First, let’s talk about the supporting cast here. Yes, really.  Héctor Elizondo, a Garry Marshall regular, IS A GOD in this movie. I love Barney so much, you have no idea. Laura San Giacomo is a quirky best friend, and I love her. Ralph Bellamy plays a very sweet man in David Morse (even if I disagree with his business). And finally, Jason Alexnder’s Phil Stuckey is IMPRESSIVELY slimy, if a little much at times. Still, he made a good villain in a film that didn’t necessarily need one.

But you all know. You know who takes the entire show here, I know you do. That 9 up there? Sure, the supporting cast carries about 2 of those points, and Gere has one...but JULIA FRIGGIN’ ROBERTS, ACTRESS QUEEN OF ROMANCIA is the star and glue of this movie! She’s perfect, she’s charming, she’s quirky, and she’s absolutely fantastic. Holy shit, I understand solely from this movie, why Julia Roberts became as much of a star as she is.

Plot and Writing: 8/10

Roger Ebert called this a good take on the Pygmalion and Cinderella formulas, both of which the movie heartily acknowledges. And, uh...yeah, it’s a legitimately good take on those formulae, while still being its own unique film, and it’s getting credit for that! It’s interesting to me that J.F. Lawton is the writer, because he...he didn’t do any great things after this one. Under Siege, maybe. Blankman, maybe. I haven’t seen either, so I can’t comment. However, he also wrote Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death. Um. What. Pardon me. Wut. Anyway, plot’s good, character development is apparent through the writing and story, and the only real problem I have is that the time scale is literally a week. And it’s a fairy tale, yeah, and the cheesy nature of some of it definitely shows that. So, not perfect, but still good and unique!

Directing and Cinematography: 7/10

Garry Marshall, former advisor of the land of Romancia...yeah, you did alright. Nothing over-the-top amazing, but not bad by any means. It’s good, but it’s an average kind of good. Same goes for Charles Minsky’s cinematography, which is quite good, but never really breathtaking to me. Good, just not necessarily a cinematic masterpiece.

Production and Art Design: 8/10

The dichotomy between Vivian’s street world and Edward’s high-society world is very well visually portrayed, I gotta say. Most of that isn’t exactly iconically distinctive, but it’s still good. I say MOST of it because, well...Julia Roberts, man. The outfits she’s given in this movie are insanely iconic, even to this day, and they really pick up during the second half of the film. The polo dress, the Rodeo drive dress, the GODDAMN RED OPERA DRESS! It’s all gorgeous, and I genuinely love it all. But one wardrobe does not a movie make. Hence, it’s not perfect, but it’s still up there.

Music and Editing: 7/10

How goes it, James Newton Howard? This won’t be the last time I see you this year, I’m sure. And your score here is great! ANd I don’t remember it...at all! Literally, all of that music is drowned out for me by Roy Orbison’s “Pretty Woman.” By the way, DID NOT REALIZE that that wasn’t Elvis Presley, nor did my girlfriend. You learn something every day. But anyway, here’s the deal: this film is Dirty Dancing in reverse, in terms of music. And slightly worse than that. A lot of pop songs are peppered throughout this movie, and they’re all famous and good...but they aren’t really tied to this movie much, outside of “Pretty Woman.” But they’re mostly fitting with the times presented in the movie, unlike some of Dirty Dancing’s soundtrack. Not as iconic, but better fitting with the atmosphere. There you have it.

I mean, yeah, a LOT, even. At least 78% approval from me!

Pretty Woman is a cheesy yet heartfelt fairy tale of a movie, and it’s sweet all throughout. Problematic or not, I understand how this film but a crown on the heads of the King and Queen of Romancia. ALL HAIL KING GERE AND QUEEN ROBERTS!

But wait...on the horizon. A rival, and far larger nation, is arming its people, led by a fearsome warrior Queen, and one of her most faithful Kings. The Holy Romance Empire is on the march, and it wants blood. Until then...they will get no sleep.

February 3, 2021: Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

[frustrated-writer-skyeknight]

The One with the Runaway Groom, Part 2

Previous

After Dimitri finished his Iced tea, Jack had the group moved back into his apartment especially since they were getting too much attention with a heavily sweating, nicely dressed companion. Plus, there was a call that needed to be made. Sooner, rather than later, before the cops would be called on Jack for abduction of an heir. Surely, Dimitri wasn't a child nor was it time enough yet to report a missing person.

But Jack also knew that his friend's parents didn't like him that much and wouldn't put it passed them to blow the situation out of proportion.

If that meant the others taking space of his apartment as if they lived there, for certain leaving him a lot to clean up after... Well, it wasn't like that wasn't already usually the case. At the very least, it forces him to clean his place often. And in the event his mom would drop by for an unexpected visit, the tidiness would prompt the idea: 'Hey yo, your son is doing fine and not living like a slob just because he separated from his ex-wife.' It helped that Jamie had moved out of his apartment and went to take up space in his older brother's guest room, something he couldn't do with Jack still living with Elsa originally since she used it as an workshop of sorts for any of her fashion design projects. So it wasn't like he was completely on his own in housekeeping, it had been rough going at first when Elsa first moved out and Jamie couldn't move in until he had finally paid off the lease in his previous, smaller unit.

"I’m fine, uncle Vlad. No, really. I know you haven't met him yet, but Jack's a good friend from college so don't worry about..."

Dimitri was using their phone. Because apparently, in his whim to run from the wedding, he forgot that he had given his Smartphone to hold to his best man and uncle, Vlad. Meanwhile Jack was refilling bowls with chips and pouring drinks for everyone, who were watching TV, Jamie was taking stock of ingredients that he could cook for he and Jack's dinner. After deciding on one, he closed the fridge and went to join the others at the center of the apartment.

"Ever notice that the most popular KDramas usually involve love triangles, petty jealousy, and cliché main guy heartthrobs? I could never understand the hype." Hiccup mused, taking a Dorito from the bowl Jack had set down. "Songs are awesome though, even though I don't know what they're singing about half the time."

Jack shrugged, pulling over an ottoman to sit on so he would still be near the chips. "I don't know, I only watched one so far. Because of my in-laws. Well, ex ones anyway. And Kingdom isn’t like that..."

"Yeah, but that one has the overused zombie infestation plot to make up for it."

"When will you guys just watch shows for their purpose?" Jamie raised a brow. scrolling through his phone and thinking of which film to watch instead. No one seemed too heavily invested in Start Up right now anyway.

Who even put it on then? Jamie supposed one of Elsa's friends or other, since this Netflix account was shared between her and Jack. Something they continued to share even after the divorce, as they didn't see the need to stop.

Astrid shrugged, "And what’s that?

"Entertainment."

"Well, when it’s actually doing its purpose I guess."

Jamie rolled his eyes, about to question why they weren't changing what was playing when he was cut off as Dimitri, from the Island counter, was starting to get particularly loud as he talked over the phone. "...I’ll feel much better if I wasn’t hearing dad cussing like a sailor in the background." He said in a bit of a huff, "You know what, just put him on and let’s get this over with…"

Jack took his own phone and paused Netflix, much to the ire of Jamie, so they could all turn to not-so-subtly eavesdrop on Dimitri, even Jim stares at the Russian after acquiring a muffin from the fridge.

"Yeah, it’s m─dad no─Well, if you stop cursing my existence long enough to let me explain─Is mom there? Cause she’d be rubbing soap on your mouth by now!" Dimitri spat at the phone angrily.

Jamie cringed, awkwardly getting up from the couch to head to his room.  Jack and the others passed the Doritos around. As far as he was concerned, it wasn't anything he hadn't seen before.

"─Me?! An ingrate?! I don't owe you anything; you're the damn parent, it was your job to provide those things! And you never even came to watch those Equestrian competitions I joined, and I only ever took up lessons on your demands; I never asked you to spend on those lessons!"

Jim didn't know what the argument was about, but he was definitely taking Dimitri's side. "Huh, dad troubles." he hummed as he walked back to the others, "A good enough reason for the Russian ran."

"In your case," Hiccup shrugged, "your dad ran though…"

That got him a glare from the part time Astronomy professor, "This muffin" Jim growled, holding the muffin towards his friend. "could be used as a lethal murder weapon, Haddock."

"In your hands? I don't doubt it, bud."

"Znayete chto, k chertu eto, ya prosto skazhu eto!"

Astrid, Hiccup, and Jim blinked in confusion. They turned towards Jack, who raised a brow in response. "I was his roommate," he said. "but I didn't learn his language. Turn up the subtitles or something."

"I’m gay, and always have been since forever. Even Anya knows!"

Jack raised his closed fist up, before a finger folded out, "Called it."

"He was your roommate at college." Hiccup pointed out leadingly, "Of course you called it."

The silver blond scowled at the brunette, "We weren't like that," he said. "More like he kept claiming he was bi, when I kept telling I already knew he was gay."

"Yeah well, tell mama I love her but screw you pops!" Dimitri huffed, putting the phone away to scream at it before bringing it back near his ear. "It’s my life, and I’m gonna live it the way I want…… Well, maybe I don’t need your roof to return to. I’ll just stay here…… Hey! he may be bottom feeder Jack to you, but he’s my friend bottom feeder Jack! And what the hell, his big ears don't even have anything to do with the possibility of him being a gold digger."

Hiccup and Astrid both snickered, as Jack looked unamused. "I guess we established I’m still bottom feeder Jack..."

"With big ears."

"I was pointedly not mentioning that."

Then, Dimitri continued with some tone of finality, his voice lowered as if sounding tired now, it somber up his audience. "It’s my decision now, dad… Well, maybe I don’t want to keep my inherita─" He cuts himself off quickly, his eyes widening. "No, no! I said maybe!" There was a click at the other end of the phone, and Dimitri's face fell. "Well, now I’m cut off." He places the phone back on the counter and slumps on a dining room chair. "Shostakovitch… I don’t know if the heatwave is just hitting now, or if I’m having a panic attack…"

At the phrase 'panic attack', Jack moved. The paper bags weren't where they usually were, and he remembered Jamie was the last one who went grocery shopping. He called for his brother, who returned outside to get the paper bag. The silver blond gave it to Dimitri, placing a hand behind the Russian's back as well to rub comforting circles against it, pretty much what they'd do for each other whenever one of them came back to their shared dorm room drunk after random frat parties they've been invited to.

Jack: Okay, just take calming breaths buddy. It's not the end of the world.

Dimitri: *breathing quickly, narrowing his eyes at Jack*

Jack: Okay, maybe it's a big deal but c'mon, don’t look at me like that. I mean, what were you expecting? Just… You know, think of less stressful thoughts. Think happy thoughts.

Dimitri: *inhales* I am *exhales* drawing a blank… Little help?

Jamie: 🎶Think of a wonderful thought. Any merry little thought…🎶

Jack: 😐

Dimitri: 😑

Jamie: 🎶 Think of Christmas, think of snow. Think of sleigh bells off you go!🎶

Dimitri: *throws off paper bag* Not like that.

Astrid: *shrugs* Made me happy. You should join the choir, Jamie.

Next

[acdeaky]

bad liar | III

warning: angst, little bit of fluff, strong language

note: there is a part at the beginning about star wars, but even if you’ve never seen it, please don’t skip it bc it’s important to the story! thanks and enjoy :))

word count: 1.4k

black lives matter

“so you’re telling me that you’ve never watched star wars?”

“no, i haven’t,” ben laughed, watching as you face turned from excitement to completely shock. “why’s it such a big deal?”

“why’s it such a big deal? star wars has given us, like, four cultural resets in the past 50 years, and is just an amazing film series.” you argued as you got up off of the sofa, heading towards ben’s kitchen to grab a bag of popcorn.

“four cultural resets? really? that many?” he teased, turning his body to the side to watch you over the back of the sofa.

“yes, ben, that many. there’s the original trilogy, the prequel trilogy, the sequel trilogy and the mandalorian.”

“the mandalorian?”

“the mandalorian,” you sighed, sitting back down next to ben while grabbing the remote. he took the bowl of popcorn from off your lap and into his as you found disney plus. “you know, the one with pedro pascal? that series?”

“oh, yeh,” came his muffled reply. “i think i remember hearing about it.”

“well, you won’t be able to watch it until after return of the jedi.” was all you said as you found the phantom menace and pressed play.

“and which trilogy is that in?”

“the original.”

“so i won’t have to wait too long to watch it.” only if he knew.

“yeh, you do,” you giggle, turning to face him completely as his face dropped. “it’s the original trilogy, but we’re watching them in chronological order of the story.”

“so how many films is there between the beginning and the mandalorian?”

“about eight.”

“eight?” ben asked in disbelief, watching your face for any tell-tale signs of you lying.

“yeh, eight. there’s the prequel and the original triology and then there’s solo and rogue one.”

“i cannot believe i agreed to this.” he huffed, completely leaning back into the cushions of the sofa.

“but you did, so let’s go.” just as you said that, the iconic orchestral piece of the star wars theme played through the speakers. you leaned back and moved slightly closer to ben, moving so you were comfortable before grabbing a handful of popcorn.

without you knowing, ben watched you as the credits rolled, seeing your eyes flick over the written synopsis of the movie like you haven’t seen it hundreds of times. he smiled subconsciously, his brain choosing that now would be the best time for his heart to thud against his chest and send a light blush up his neck and cheeks.

seeing you here and like this, in your element, was something ben loved. god, he would do anything, watch anything, listen to anything, if it meant that he would be with you and it would make you happy.

without realising, ben was falling in love with you, but he never knew that he would have a chance.

***

it wasn’t the pounding on the door that scared you, nor was it the coolness of the floor beneath you, but the reminder of last night. the tears, the sobs, more like. ben showing up unannounced. the emotion, the overwhelming nature of the situation. the half eaten tub of ice cream. the TV.

the TV.

surely enough, it was still playing in the near distance, but that wasn’t the biggest thought inside your mind as a second knock brought you back to the wooden floor beneath you.

you used the wall to help you up, looking at the mirror hanging on the wall to check how awful you looked; at least nothing was fresh, except for the pain.

just as the person on the other side rised their knuckle to rap against the door again, you clicked the lock, opening the door to be greeted by a hand in your face.

“oh, gosh, i’m sorry, miss. here’s your parcel.” right. the parcel you ordered yesterday as a ‘feeling sorry for yourself’ purchase. as you took the box out of the person’s hands and signed the tablet, shutting the door before they had even turned away, you felt shitter than you did when you woke up.

just the thought of what was in the box brought back last night and everything about it. but as you threw it onto your sofa with little care, it reminded you of one of the good nights. a good night with ben. the day you invited yourself over to his and forced him to watch every single star wars film, which was also the day you realised you were falling in love with him.

all that was in the box was a stupid figurine of ben’s favourite character (one you had (sub)consciously choosen to buy) and you couldn’t find it in yourself to open it. you couldn’t find it in yourself to open the box and be reminded of a time when things weren’t complicated. a time when your feelings were submerged by other things.

a time when you were certain with yourself and your feelings that you let your heart control everything.

but none of that mattered now. you ignored the glares you felt from the box, leaving it be where it landed. you switched off the TV, threw away the ice cream (tub and all) and decided the best thing to do to shower.

yes; a nice, warm shower would wash away the bad night. well, it would wash away the tears, the sweat and, hopefully, the backache from sleeping on the floor all night.

the first thing you noticed (after your shower) was your phone was dead. what you dreaded the most was the many missed calls and texts from ben, or anyone, which you would inevitably have to reply to. you found there was a few: a couple of texts saying sorry, a few voicemails which you debated listening to; you weren’t sure if you could handle another heartbreak.

so you didn’t. you left them unopened, as you did the texts, and got dressed, throwing on whatever felt the most comfy for another day of wallowing in self-pity.

you debated calling joe, or gwil, just to have someone to talk to about all this. but you decided against it, not wanting to pull other people into the breaking of two hearts. it didn’t matter to then. well, not personally anyway, but both joe and gwil would have been there for you, and for ben, if you had let them.

but you didn’t, and that’s how it stayed. you opened a new tub of ice cream (only after eating something that would be classed as a meal) and sat in the same position as the night before, the same crappy TV playing in front of you.

you were about three episodes in when the phone began to ring. you didn’t even bother looking at the caller-ID, knowing that you would just be ignoring them anyway. the phone completed it’s ring before the automated voicemail began to speak. when it beeped, you paused the TV.

“hi, Y/N, it’s me, ben. i’m guessing you didn’t answering because you saw it was me... or your phone’s dead... or you just aren’t answering any calls - which is understandable. i just wanted to apologise for last night; me coming over was stupid and greedy and selfish, but i had to see you. i had to see if you were hurting as much as i was when you ended this ‘relationship’.

“i’m sorry i put you under so much pressure, but i hoped that if you felt that way, that you’d talk to me... obviously i was wrong. and i want to apologise for everything: the relationship, the press, the unwanted feelings; i felt them, too. hell, i’ve felt a lot of things for you over the past few months, but i’ve been too afraid to say anything. and yet, here i am, pouring my heart out on voicemail.

“god, you’re probably not even gonna listen to this. your phone’s probably in your room on silent while you watch crappy TV and eat your weight in ice cream. which is fine, i’d do the same if i was with you. but i’m not with you, and that’s the hardest part. if, by some chance you’re hearing this, please pick up. i want to make things right, i want to tell you things i’ve been wanting to say for months, i want to-”

“hello? ben?” you picked up to silence. as soon as you answered, ben stood still, thinking this wasn’t going to happen, that you wouldn’t have answered.

but you did.

“ben? you okay?”

“i-”

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[purplesurveys]

1041

survey by chasingghosts

What is the age gap between you and your parents? 27 for both. Technically, 26 years with my mom since she had yet to celebrate her birthday when she had me, but she was going to turn 27 all the same. Guh. I can’t believe I’m just five years away from that and I’m still nowhere near building my own family.

How many bathrooms does your house have? Is this enough? Two. I’d say it’s enough. Two people in the family rarely have to go to the bathroom at the same time so it works out for us.

Have you sent a letter to anyone in the past year? Yeah. I used to give Gabie a handwritten letter every Christmas along with her gifts. I still plan on writing her one, but obviously the content will be vastly different now.

Have you ever video chatted with someone you met online? I did this with Carley a handful of times; we’d video chat when I came home from school which was around the time she would get ready for school. She was such an extrovert who was so lovely and bubbly around me, and I’ve always felt bad that she had to contend with my shy ass with my mic always muted lol.

Are you hungry or thirsty right now? I’m neither but I can go for a light meal right now, which is great because I got myself a chicken barbecue sandwich and a caramel macchiato from Starbucks as a treat for myself tonight :) I went through five video call meetings just for today alone, went through several breakdowns while at work, and am also on my period, so I thought I deserved a break.

When was the last time you ate something, and what did you eat? Literally just had a bite from my sandwich.

Have you ever seen the film Boondock Saints? Nope. Sounds nothing like my type of film.

Do you own a pair of gumboots? Nah. I don’t like walking in floods anyway, so I don’t plan on getting a pair.

What colour is your favourite mug? Copper.

How far away from your town/city is your state's capital city? I already live in my province’s capital.

Have you ever worked somewhere where you had to clean the toilets? I haven’t.

Do you know anyone named Doug? No, not really a common name here.

What cut of jeans is your favourite and why? Do mom jeans count as a cut? I’ve been all over those throughout 2020. They’re stylish and yet so comfy, which are two words that seldom go together.

Do you rate people's attractiveness on a scale of 1-10? Uhhhhhhhh unless a friend asked me to rate someone they know, I don’t really think in these terms.

Name a few of your favourite actors. Kate freaking Winslet. Also Kristen Stewart, Emma Stone, Audrey Hepburn, Brie Larson, Florence Pugh, and Eddie Redmayne. I’d name Timothée Chalamet but I have yet to see a work of his.

Do you collect anything, or have you ever? The first item I ever collected was notebooks. In my past relationship (is it obvious I’m not over it yet and probably never will be? Ha) I initially liked to collect receipts from places we went to and ate at. I’d also like to be able to grow a collection of wrestling memorabilia, particularly action figures and belts. It’s not really a life goal of mine but it’d still be a cool thing to achieve.

So, how has your week been so far? I mean it’s only Monday, so nothing much. I cried and broke down a lot today which wasn’t a good start, but tomorrow’s a holiday so no work; and for Thursday I was invited to the Christmas party of the department I initially interned at and apparently they’ll be sending over a Christmas kit over to my place so I’m looking forward to these! It’s super touching they remembered and still invited me even though I’m not a part of the team anymore, so I wouldn’t have missed the party for the world.

Is there anything that you could cry about right now? Definitely, and being on my period at the moment makes it so much easier to cry. But I already cried too much and too hard earlier today and it felt exhausting, so I’m trying to avoid it tonight.

How old were you when you learned how to tie your shoelaces? I was five. I probably would’ve made myself learn later but one of our ‘exams’ in kindergarten was to show that you know how to tie your shoelaces, so I had to ask my grandma to give me a crash course.

Have you ever slept in a car overnight? Why did you have to? Yeah. I had to pull several all-nighters in college and work at 24/7 coffee shops, but I usually gave up by around 2-3 AM and would sleep in the car by then.

When was the last time you used Facebook? Earlier this evening, but I couldn’t scroll too much because spoilers for Start Up are everyyyyyyfuckingwhere and I’m still several episodes away from the finale, which aired last night.

Do you have a PO Box or does your mail get sent straight to your house? Our mails and parcels get sent straight to our door.

Are you interested in entomology? Do you know what that is? Never been. I think it’s great that insects have a lot of capabilities and contributions that we often take for granted; but I personally find a great deal of them icky as well lol so I wouldn’t say I’m interested in this branch.

Have you ever had to claim insurance? What for? Hmm I don’t think so. Not my own nor my parents’. Do you like to listen to albums start-finish without skipping or shuffling? I’ll do this sometimes with my favorite albums, yes. Fuck knows how many times I listened to After Laughter from start to finish with no skips; it was my favorite for a while.

Do you have any unspoken enemies, or maybe frenemies? I’m not the biggest fan of Patrice, but it’s not something I broadcast to people because why would I? I’m sure she slightly does not like me too, so we’re even.

What was the last thing you broke? That would be my last phone charger cord. I’ve since had it replaced though.

Do you have a favourite state/province/territory in your country? Not necessarily an overall favorite but I do have a favorite place I’ve traveled to, which is Sagada. I need a second vacation to see if it still lives up to my expectations and if it would still be able to give me an experience as cathartic and therapeutic as my first trip there, but for the last five years it has sat on the throne.

How many vowels are in your street name? Is this question too mundane? Three. I mean I’ve never been asked this on a survey before, so I wouldn’t call it that.

What are your three top favourite flavours of ice cream? Cookies and cream, chocolate chip cookie dough, coffee.

How far away is the nearest Target? At least a couple thousand miles away.

Do you prefer Target, Kmart or Walmart? Idk and idc.

Have you ever farted in class or somewhere else you shouldn't have? No. I suppress my farts, even when I’m alone haha it’s just my least favorite bodily function.

What's your middle name? Would you change it? I’m not giving it away. I wouldn’t change it and I’m definitely not giving it up even if I get married. I’m keeping my middle name then just hyphenate my surname so that I get to keep all three names.

When was the last tie you wore heels? What was the occasion? September. Job interview for a position I didn’t really want but still chose to undergo because it was still an interview.

Do you find yourself lost for words often? I guess yeah, depression does tend to do that to me.

Did you share baths with your siblings/cousins when you were a child? Yep, I remember sharing the shower with my sister as late as when I was 10. Then puberty happened to me and I did not want to continue the practice anymore, haha.

Have you ever been a member of an online dating site? How did it go? I joined Tinder while I was in a relationship (she made an account as well at the time so it was fair game) literally just to people-watch. I wasn’t interested in cheating; I was just genuinely curious to see how the app worked. I put on a fake name, age, location and my profile photo was of a cat I saw in school so it was impossible to tell it was me.

Do you know what your neighbours even look like? I would not be able to recognize them if you lined them up with a bunch of other strangers, to tell you the truth. I’d probably be able to recognize the carpenters working on the house currently being constructed in front of ours though; they’re super nice and they’re crazy over Cooper haha.

How many siblings does your best friend have? Angela is an only child.

Do you put ketchup on your fries? No. Ketchup does not go anywhere near my fries.

Have you been lucky enough to make out with anyone in the past week? LOL lucky enough...but no, I haven’t done that in a while.

Have your parents ever worked in the agriculture business etc. on a farm? Neither have.

Do you have an ex that makes you angry with literally everything they do? No.

Are you easily susceptible to brain freeze? No but tooth sensitivity, yes. I have a certain tooth that acts up whenever I eat ice cream, and it can get soooo inconvenient and uncomfortable for a few seconds.