#anyway i did like the substance
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I think about this bit from an excellent Jacob Geller video on the regular
#just gonna put it on my blog this time#anyway i did like the substance#im never watching it again lmao#jacob geller#gross games about flesh and stuff#i think this is my favorite geller video too but it's hard to pick between this and the haunted house one
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♫ I do what I want/Crying in the bleachers and I said it was fun/I don't need anything from anyone ♫
(ID in Alt) you guys ever think about your own posts and get upset?? Anyway Damian Wayne I love you I'm so sorry your life is like that
#dc comics#dc#damian wayne#dc robin#batman and robin#alfred pennyworth#dick grayson#bruce wayne#lyrics are ofc from American Teenager by ethel cain#the lyrics are a bit too specific to specifically be a damian song and the verses talk about like. christian church and substance abuse#but thag chorus???? ohhhh baby#its also stephcore btw. to me at least#ANYWAY this took. forever and i did while feeling sick/off in the run up to my period so frankly it's a miracle it got finished at all#but yknow for now im fairly happy w this one. played around w the colours and challenged myself to really put my all into the linework#there's some details here n there that r wrong (failsafes design is. all kinds of wonky) but like. who give a shit#anyway my brain and hands are on vacation for the next few days <3#btw the blood on damians hands is a reference to the upcoming B&R cover (for 11 or 12 i think?) where damians-#-beating the living daylights out of bane. B&R has mostly been chill n slow so far but these issues...ohhh i am SEATED#uhh anyway yeah <3#OH WAIT#mine#< haha. art tag i always forget
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seeing non-black people critique rick's portrayal of black characters is interesting sometimes. only like 30% of the critiques I see make any sense to me to be honest
#“rick made carter be an elvis presley fan that's fucked up!” is a real thing I just read#do you think black people can't enjoy elvis even though he appropriated black culture for personal gain#boy you would not like what I have to tell you about eminem. or kpop. or anything else bc black culture has been#appropriated by like everyone forever. are black people not allowed to enjoy iggy or ariana or billie or [the list goes on]#I myself am not biracial but I /mostly/ like carter and sadie (specifically carter who isn't white-passing) as black representation#the part where carter feels indignant that he has to hold himself to a higher standard because the world is harsher on black boys#did genuinely resonate with me when I first read that part as a child and it still does to this day#can we talk about how rick knows nothing about black hair instead#or how hazel is from the jim crow era and seems to not have one single thought about race in the modern era#or hazel's horror over the amazons keeping slaves but “no they're not slaves they just like it that way 🥰”#my problems with hazel are not at all about stereotypes I just don't buy her as an authentic portrayal of a black girl from the 1930s#don't get me started on beckendorf. does every black character need to die a violent horrible death rick#anyways this isn't intended to make anyone feel bad but we need more meaningful nuance in critiques beyond “hey that's a stereotype! bad!”#if you can't discern and communicate WHY it's bad then you're not saying anything of substance#is it a caricature? is it uninformed/underresearched? are all the characters from that group being represented in that way?#is the stereotype itself a degradation of that group? is it being played for laughs? is the character a one-dimensional stereotype?#what can we glean about the biases of the author/narrative and their worldview through their portrayal of certain groups in the text?#a big part of literary analysis and critique is not only pointing out The Thing. you need to also say something about The Thing#like if you have a black character say they like hiphop then sure it's a “stereotype”. but lots of black people do like hiphop#it's an important part of black american culture and portraying that in media isn't racist by default#and in fact lots of poc keep parts of themselves quiet for fear of being perceived as a “stereotype” when we shouldn't have to do that#BUT if you're doing it like jonah wizard was written in the 39 clues then that's where we've got a problem bc wtf was that rick#that was so racist oh my god I was like 11 years old reading that 😭 and then he had the white mc poke fun at him for being a gangster#and him being a “gangsta” was always played for laughs throughout the story#not being pro-rick here as I'm a big fan of critical riordan reading just being pro-thoughtful critiques because some of you guys actually#sound a wee bit ignorant when saying things like what was mentioned in the first tag#baye.txt#pjo hoo toa#rr crit#<- tagging that just for. well the tags basically
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fundamentally disinterested in the recurring discourse about kevin's drinking that aims to a) make it his Specific Problem To Focus On And Overcome when it is a crutch and coping mechanism to get him through a Much Bigger Problem (emotional fallout he can't square with by himself, culture shock, trauma, loss of his extremely wildly co-dependent relationship w riko, losing the structure of the nest, mourning a future he was meant to have, processing a grave injustice, anger and fear and desperate grief, all of which is his Actual Specific Fox Problem) while he builds himself back up, and b) thinks that even if it is a problem (more on that later), it's the foxes' problem to deal with.
like. it's just not.
yeah, he doesn't drink until he meets them. they gave him that habit, and in traditional terms, they're (the monsters specifically) a 'bad influence'. but these are the foxes. this is kevin day, son of exy, whose meteor is crashing spectacularly through no fault of his own. there are no traditional terms to be found here. the framework for it literally doesn't exist. neil comes into the foxes with more conventional expectations—appalled at the athletes' substance use, his horror at matt's trip to columbia, his steadfast and early repeated stance that none of the foxes should let andrew treat them the way he does, and certainly not nicky—and tends to engage with them less as the series goes on and he folds himself into the foxes. the thing about the foxes is that they've all been in pits deeper than they are tall. and some of them got a helping hand on the way—erik, andrew's extreme intervention methods, stephanie walker—and wymack was always waiting for them on the other side, ready to throw down a rope, but all the foxes dragged themselves out of their own holes. often not alone, often not without assistance, but at the end of the day, they have to do it.
there's that line neil has about aaron in that scene that got deleted when the timeline shifted around, when he thinks about how aaron got this far in life on his own, surviving on willpower and sheer desperation. that applies to aaron in a way that's a little more acute than some of the rest of them—boy who doesn't let the foxes in bc of andrew, boy who doesn't let nicky in bc he doesn't know how, boy made of flinching and seeking an escape and grieving the one who hurt him—but is broadly true for the foxes en masse.
this isn't to say the foxes can't help each other, but it's not their job. it just isn't. they'll keep kevin alive, keep him safe, keep him flanked and contained within their ranks. they'll fight tooth and nail in this battle with him, fight to get him to that championship game, fight to get that trophy in his hands. but that's all they've agreed to. that's all they're responsible for, in this covenant they've made with him. he says they can make this happen, and they're going to get him to that final game, but it's up to him what state he's in when he gets there.
like. they're foxes. they've been triaging their whole lives. they hate each other and they hate everyone else more. they're the kids with their backs up against the wall. half of them are addicts. i don't think kevin is comparable, personally; he's getting through a horrific situation with a coping mechanism. that's not the same thing as battling yourself to stop using. but that's not really the point of this. what i'm getting at here is that to the foxes, it's easy math: kevin who can lean on vodka and andrew and wymack and the foxes to stay upright when he's not ready to stand on his own two feet is still a kevin who is standing. a kevin with one less piece of scaffolding to lean on is a kevin who falls over, a kevin at risk of complete collapse, a kevin one phone call away from running back to the master, a kevin one crucial loss away from not ever making it back to himself at all. they're triaging. this is low on the totem pole of things they have the room to care about. they very much have bigger problems, both individually and even just kevin-related. if alcohol makes seeing the boy he knew best in the world and moved in tandem with his whole life and who destroyed their entire legacy and his entire life in one move — if alcohol makes facing that boy easier to stomach, then, fuck, why would they take that away? they're foxes. they've all got their demons. this is what kevin needs this year and a half to let him face his, that's all. they can understand that. it doesn't have to be pretty, as long as it keeps him in the fight. that's the priority.
i think there's absolutely space to explore this in fic and art and fandom in a way that maybe does explore it as a Problem, both that it's an active problem for kevin & that it's something to explore other foxes helping him with (there's a t&n fic that i've been gnawing at the bit to read for months that seems poised to explore this premise, and that's super up my alley)! i just think we're in different territory when we're talking about the series—and its characters and dynamics—in a conversational rather than transformational way, and end up talking about this like the foxes are responsible for kevin's choices. i love kevin day. i read these back at the start of 2015 & he's so dear to me that loving him was the blueprint for how i feel abt kageyama. but it's been pretty weird to see how the conversation has been translating Loving Kevin Day into... thinking the foxes are doing wrong by him with respect to this in actual canon. like that's just not how it operates there
#kevin day#aftg#aftg is a sports anime story that's mostly about survival. it's no surprise they're all aiming to Get Through This Year‚ first and foremost#personally i don't think kevin is an alcoholic. that's a specific term that means something that i don't think means kevin.#i understand why people apply it to him with the way it's used colloquially a lot but like. that doesn't make it true#but i'm also not particularly interested in hashing that out and litigating it#i've seen people with more specific and relevant Personal experience than me try that and it fell on deaf ears#so i don't particularly care to waste my breath there. that's not the main point of this anyway#i am saying that i don't think kevin's drinking is the Capital P Problem but mostly i'm saying even if it is. that's not the foxes' issue#like in the most basic truth sense. it just isn't. you can wish they did or think friends should or whatever but like.#you have to remember who they are. they're not the trojans. they're not the gangsey. they're foxes.#they wanted to mutiny against kevin within twelve hours of him opening his mouth but they still voted to keep him. ykwim.#they're not here to hold his hand but they will keep him intact.#like. they're gonna get him to the championship game. he promises them that and they promise in turn to show up and get there.#but they're only in charge of making it there. it's entirely up to him what state he's in when he gets there.#this isn't to say that they wouldn't care; it's that the foxes have been triaging their entire fucking lives.#kevin with alcohol in his hand is a kevin who can stand up on the court and face riko instead of giving up. it's a shield.#absolutely there's an argument that it's not healthy but like. Cs get degrees. if this gets him through‚ then it gets him through.#alcohol tw#alcoholism ment //#substance abuse ment //
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share my love to you. share my heart for you
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#carmen lobcorp#just a quicker one that i did. i was going to originally do anatomy studies or the sort with her but this works too#i think i still might depends on what i have on me . im a few hours away from my room so none of my diagrams or models....#ahh depends. i do have another piece similar to this one ill likely post soon. probably will end up posting older art as i get this whole#anyways i wanted to try to have some aspects added but i didnt quite fully add all of them#the body melting towards and blending into the water like substance tinged red but also the green prominent inside still a little#uhh brain jar reference. yayy..#it isnt quite clear what is happening. she was supposed to be opening herself so the heart could be seen#organs do NOT look like that but in my defence i didnt have connection at the time to look it up#...should i add something for gore or the sort?... uhm#tw: gore
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The Substance (2024) dir. Coralie Fargeat
#the substance#some shots i liked#i almost included dennis quaid's butthole looking mouth#i did not#you're welcome#anyway time once again to tell you to watch the leftovers
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Conflict test..? Moe fucks up Badly test.
#feh#i'm ngl there's not a lot that's presentable in here. this sketchbook does feel like a waste tbh#like i just did not do a whole lot w it. lacks substance. i'm itching to just start over tbh.#sad!#anyways something i was trying to test here and that's been in the back of my mind forever#is moe offering a hand. literally. like it just does not know what else to do.#extremely picky about being touched. leads to it being extremely maybe overly cautious of touching others.#in a way remaining distant is its way of showing comfort. but that usually does come off as well. distant.#unreachable even.#and here i think alfonse is so hurt that he won't even accept moe's gesture. ouch! you fucked up big time!!!!!#i def get really in my head about presentation and how good anything is though like#i feel like i could nitpick the HELL out of this. BUT. BUT. IT'S JYST A CONCEPT. JUST A TEST#maybe i'll work on something else today...... idk idk i feel aimless but i wanna raise morale. somehow.#fe alfonse#moe tag#summoner oc#my art
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he’s my fav actually
#rlly wish they did more with the “color” thing#idk if there was hidden lore or something abt it but it just seemed to have nothing :( really really liked it tho#Anyways I gave him some color aspects cuz I thought it was cool#also. Wish Wilson got more substance because him becoming the leader of the ink world is actually awesome#would’ve loved him to have more of an actual reign along with a better story then him just straight up lying abt his dad#in conclusion wilson is the best#I have Porter stuff too 👍 also my bff#batdr spoilers#batdr#bendy and the dark revival#wilson arch#ohhh my god so many tags sorry
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She just like me fr
#i mean if i was a bit more coherent i could probably go more in-depth about her adhd and shit#cause like#she's impulsive, short-tempered,and does a lot of drugs#she's like me if i was a girl and did drugs#but yeah seriously. substance abuse disorders are more commmon in people with adhd#which is a part of the reason I'm leaning into the neurodivergence a bit more i think#is that a thing people talk about at alll?#anyway i promise I'm not asssigning neurodivergency purely offfa vibes i did put some actual thought into this for once#artlung#colonistlife#ianna ankarian
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i don't know if i think it's really funny or kind of a shame that many people are going to know tadaima okaeri solely as "the omegaverse bl" when it's actually such a sweet slice-of-life about community, family, the struggles of the older generation to understand the younger and vice versa, recovering from social isolation and how recursive that recovery can be, forging lasting friendships as adults, and so on. it's so wholesome and drama-free that it barely has any plot to speak of, but what it lacks in plot it makes up for in themes and man. what beautiful themes
#since my recent reread i've been giving more thought to why i like it SO much#because on the surface it really is just fluff#and i love fluff! but usually require some substance to be completely invested in something#and hoooooo boy am i invested#and i think yeah it's the themes. the friendships the community the intergenerational family tensions that are resolved#in such a satisfying way to me#but yeah of course it is also the omegaverse bl lol#iirc my first read years back of only the first volume left me like ''awh that was super cute'' but it was not memorable#and that makes sense bc it's the community that takes shape in later volumes as the rest of the cast enter their lives#that really appeals to me#anyway! random thinky thoughts before bed#i'm already seeing some comments along the lines of ''this is so cute but why did it have to be omegaverse that's so weird and gross''#''it could have just been normal''#it's omegaverse because that's the story the author wanted to tell. you fools. you absolute buffoons#flashbacks to all the writing workshop critiques i've received that went something like#''this is really good but do they have to be gay. there's no reason they can't just be normal'' ah fun times :) <- sarcastic guy#goodniiight dashboard if you are for some reason still reading these tags here's a little surprise:#SUPER BOOP!!!!!!
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Hi Monica, have you watched the movie The Substance?
hello, anon!!!!
i DID watch the substance!!!!! i was able to see it last week with a coworker who’s REALLY into horror and we weren't sure what to watch between this and longlegs, but in the end fate (a coin flip) decided for us
quick review: i liked the movie overall, but im not as in love with it as my coworker and pretty much everyone else seems to be. im also never gonna watch it again in my entire life ;;;;;;; (but that’s on me)
slightly longer review (i swear im gonna try to keep it brief): let me start this by saying that unfortunately i am not the biggest fan of the body horror sub-genre because it’s one of the very few things that can actively be triggering to me, so as much as i try to be objective about the media i consume, this is the one instance where i really have a hard time doing that. i still willingly watch body horrors because i really appreciate them as a vehicle for social commentary, and it was no different for the substance: i admire the messages it conveyed about systemic misogyny, and internalized sexism, and self-hatred, and the inhumanity of the anti-aging industry, and the brutality of fame, and i think that watching such a poignant portrayal of the violence against the self could be a very healing experience in a way. i definitely came out of it wishing to be a little bit more accepting and kinder to myself
it's also a visually stunning movie, i really liked the cinematography, especially when it referenced other movies (although it got a bit too much at some point imho), and demi moore's performance is PHENOMENAL
all that being said, and without spoilering it, i personally think the movie would have benefited from a little bit more subtlety: the choice of partially super-imposing prior scenes over current ones and inserting voiceover flashbacks to earlier bits of dialogue honestly made me wonder if the director didn't trust the audience at all. im also not sure if the last act did the movie any favor. i really do understand why they went so over the top and what they were going for with it, i just feel like the tonal shift was very jarring and kinda derailed the momentum of the entire moviet
his is just my opinion tho!!!!! which..you didn't ask actually so im sorry if i kinda got ahead of myself ;;;;;;;; but in case you were interested in it, i think overall it was a good movie and im glad to have watched it (even if it did give me a panic attack ;;;;;;), however i do believe the execution could have been better
#the middle act was definitely my favorite#i love the motif of the double and the splitting of the self#but yeah i guess the sub-genre itself doesn't really help in my case ;;;;;;#im happy to see a lot of people enjoying it tho even just because demi moore deserves all the awards#ANYWAY. sorry if i started rambling even if you didn't really ask about it anon ;;;;;;;#but what about you?? did you watch the movie??? what did you think about it???#please let me know if you feel like it!!!!!#and in the meantime thank you for asking!!!!! i hope you're having a wonderful day!!!!!! 💜#i feel like someone might snap me out of existence but#the substance#m: ask
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watched the substance last night and. hoo boy. that was a TRIP (spoilers in tags)
#first of all. demi moore and margaret qualley ate their roles harder than dennis quaid ate those shrimp#my mouth was just hanging open for the last 30 minutes like. holy fuck#i watched it with my friend who also love gross body horror and we were both completely silent during that time#i don't think either of us even moved once monstro elisasue came out#5/5 would absolutely recommend#i really love how it doesn't try to be subtle at all too#like. it beats its message into you with a hammer the whole time and it WORKS#i appreciate a story that doesn't try to be subversive or subtle. like those are great things to do!#but there's something so chef kiss about a piece of media that just. hits you over the head with itself#i think it worked really well with the substance too bc like. its ideas are not new#everyone knows hollywood chews women up and spits them out full of self-loathing and insecurity#but man. they really dialed it up to 11. and seeing that kind of story told in such a disgusting manner did exactly what it was supposed to#god. and the gasp i guspt when i realized it was ONLY the women standing up and screaming at elisasue in the theater??#You Are Not Immune To Propaganda babes!!!!#god. what a film#anyway go watch the substance it's on mubi whatever the fuck that is
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#the robbie williams post made me remember that Russell Brand was a sponsor of Liam's for a time#(Liam talked about it and said it was agreed that it was okay to share)#some sort of like celeb AA group I think? but anyway so I went to look#and he did post a video#he talks about celebrity and substance abuse and the way celebrity like... well kills people#if anyone is interested in that
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saltburn is not a fucking eat the rich movie ??
#loved the style/visuals/sound design but like ...this is not a fucking eat the rich movie man#films#saltburn#anyway i would say it wishes it was as good as brideshead revisited but honestly it doesn't feel like#it was going for brideshead at all#it took the basic plot components of the like.... first half and then used them to tell a different story#with different themes#anyway tldr iliked the visuals and style but it did ultimately feel style > substance with an ultimately shallow story#that doesn't match the way ppl talk abt it idk
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i need to have some revelation about the inherent value of life again its been too long.. first time i figured it out i was like 14 or something and i rannnn home and told my mom "mom! i figured it out! the meaning of life is just to live it! you just have to experience everything and so long as youre living its worth it!" and my mom was like (unimpressed) "well yeah." looking back i think i was in a hypomanic episode but i also need more of those
#97#like every now and then i get an epiphany that life is worth it#but then i backslide and forget and cant remember why i ever thought that#i had one of these in.. was it 2022 or 2023? i think 2022#amd anyway after that one i was just coasting for a while.. eating good seeing friends just happy to be here#and then it fell apart again and i cant see it anymore#and its been a long time now since ive last felt like it was worth it#now the only time i do is when im on molly#i just need one more.. to tide me over for a while.. so i can rebuild#i just need something to rest against for a while.#substance use#my mom wasnt just cold about it LOL like she did go 'im glad you figured that out' etc she knew i was severely depressed#but also her initial reaction was kinda 'um. yeah its obvious'
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well in more positive news
midge is now the proud wearer or friday night date (1960-1964)
#picture is crap bc my phone is crap and i am crap and i still dont have doll stands#it's very hard to take a nice picture of a doll with one hand#.......i just made a shameless purchase earlier today of literally like one of my dream dolls#a titian living action barbie#i've always wanted a twist-n-turn girl so bad#she popped up and she was such a reasonable price for howwww muchhhh i wanted herrrr (and just really good compared to other sellers)#twist-n-turn barbie is like hands down my favorite face mould. SO pretty#i'm gonna wait awhile hopefully before i get another doll but i'm thinking it'll be a titian stacey#see i have a ruth handler era barbie and i had to get her a 1963 midge obviously#but if i get a mod era barbie i have to get her one of her mod era friends!!!#and all of my dolls have red hair bc this is the life i've made for myself#in diana's barbieland everyone is a redhead.#tales from diana#barbie#dolls#midge#text post#anyway i really wanted that outfit for midge#so glad i got the shoes and props. especially the shoes though#outfits just arent complete without footwear :(#i feel bad bc like 2 weeks ago i got dinner at 8 (another favorite outfit from that era) and dressed my barbie in it#let me tell you she looks SO good. like its a sin#but i did not take a picture bc i was just so tired and unmotivated#she's still in it. she looks phenomenal in it especially w her red hair#vintage barbies are a hard substance
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