#anyway i burst into tears writing this so taako super would cry do not @ me

[ceilingfan5]

do you ever watch kitten videos and have to cry your face off about how small they are

Taako hasn’t been doing too hot, and he hasn’t hidden it well, either. He’s been nasty and snappish and prickly, and Kravitz has suffered him so sweetly he feels awful about it. It’s not even just one thing that’s bothering him--the world just feels like it’s about to crash down around his ears, and all he wants to do is get in bed and hide. 

He didn’t think Kravitz noticed how bad it was. He especially didn’t expect what Kravitz decided to do about it. 

Kravitz brings home foster kittens. 

Taako is sitting on the counter eating cold ravioli with a spoon when Kravitz gets home. He closes the door with his foot, making a loud sound, and Taako cranes his neck to see him. 

“Hey, Taako, I’m home,” he says, warm excitement in his voice. “I have a surprise.”

“Is it dinner?” Taako says through a mouthful of raviolis. “Cause that ship done sailed.”

“No, no,” Kravitz says. “I hope you don’t eat them.”

“Then what?” Taako kicks his feet a little, annoyed, but not wanting to get up. He puts his plate down next to him, poptart crumbs crunching under it. Maybe it’s been a bit since he cleaned up in here. 

Kravitz comes into the kitchen holding a cat carrier. Taako’s eyebrows go up. 

“Dunno if Garyl and Beans are gonna like you bringing home a stray.”

“Not strays. Foster kittens.” Kravitz is beaming, full of sunshine, hard to look directly at. Taako blinks.

“Foster kittens.”

“Foster kittens. And you get to name them.”

Taako hops down and circles the carrier slowly. Kravitz takes his hand and takes him to their laundry room, which Taako also hasn’t exactly used recently. To his surprise, it’s been decked out in blankets, with a great big crate and water and a new litter box, not to mention a few more bags from the pet store hanging out on the washing machine. Kravitz closes the door behind them and sets down the carrier. Taako squats to see, and Kravitz unzips the babies. 

There are three of them, tiny and bumping and squeaky, still so young, so small, with tiny little triangle tails and velvet ears. Taako reaches out and one instantly climbs him, tiny pinprick claws hooking into his pajama shirt as the teeny bean sets out on a grand expedition. 

“They’re so fucking small,” Taako whispers, surpsied to find himself in tears. “Fuck, look at them. I could eat them in one bite.”

Kravitz laughs softly, leaning against the dryer.

“They’re just starting to wean off of the bottle, but the guy said we should have a few more days of bottle feeding.”

“Bottle feeding?” Taako can’t take it. He sits hard on the tile, staring at the tiny little guy climbing him like an office manager working his way up to Everest. “Holy fuck. Kraav. Krav, I can’t- They’re babies, I can’t do this, Krav, holy shit, they’re so small?” His voice cracks. The other two find him and begin the climb too, and they’re a perfect set: one black, one grey, one white, like a printer running out of ink. Taako laughs, and hiccups, and cries. 

“They’re gonna need a lot of help,” Kravitz says, still so soft. “You think you’re up to helping me take care of them?”

“Yeah, fuckin- fucking obviously-” Taako sniffles. His head hurts. Despite being pretty damn miserable for some time now, it’s been a while since he let himself cry, and it’s so cathartic he wants to get mad at Kravitz for knowing him so well. He pets one of the little kittens on his walnut of a noggin and sobs when he gets a squeaky little mew in reply. “Fuck,” he says. “I’m- Krav, you, I can’t believe you...” 

Kravitz smiles and offers him a tissue, which he had ready, because of course he did. Taako blows his nose so loud it honks, which startles all of the kittens clinging to him for dear life.

“Oh, babies...” he whispers. “Fuck, am I ready to be a dad?”

“It’s just fostering. So if it doesn’t seem like it’s for you, then it doesn’t have to be. But I think you’ll like it. You already care so much about Garyl and Beans.” 

“Fuck, shit. What are we gonna call ‘em?” Taako lifts the kittens into his lap and wipes his face into his elbow. He’s a mess. It’s a disgrace, but fuck it.

“You can pick, but I’ve always liked Beelzebub.”

“So this one’s Beelzebub, lord of the flies, and maybe, uh, maybe...Concrete, for this one, and then the white one can be Jessica.”

Kravitz laughs and nods. 

“Perfect. Do you want to help me feed them?”

“Kravitz!” Taako bursts into tears again. It’s embarrassing. This is so against his brand. At least they’re in the complete privacy of their washroom and the kittens are too baby to remember his breakdown. “I- Yes!” 

And so it begins. It’s hard, and Garyl and Beans are jealous, but everybody notices Taako’s mood improve dramatically, and even if he never articulates quite how bad he was doing or even why, he’s secretly very, very happy that Kravitz knows him and loves him so much that he understood this would help. 

He’s so lucky. He’s so fucking lucky. Just because things aren’t okay doesn’t mean there’s nothing in life worth living for.