#anyway i am feeling LOVED IN THIS CHILIS TONIGHT

[ceciliathecabinwitch]

Making some white turkey chili in a little bit and I’m honestly so excited

Bf and I are coming to a time of semi rest before he starts a new (full time!!) job at the start of the year but there’s still a lot of residual stress lingering around and I think we could def use some comfort food

And imho soups/stews/chilis are some of the easiest foods to transition to magic as well, so there’s definitely gonna be some of that in there too (especially because this is my first chance to bust out my giant stew pot since we moved in and there are few things that feel more like making potions to me)

[the-hopeless-haze]

Friends breakup friends get married strangers get born and strangers get buried trends change rumors fly through new skies but IM RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME FOR REAL

[savventeen]

AKLS;FJLKSAJD I WILL ACCEPT THE BITE THANK U LSKJDFALKJ

and yes!!! so much love is stored in the little things!!! the universe is a compounding of littler things, our bodies are conglomerations of littler things, and the love that fills us all and spills over into each other is an amalgamation of all the littler things we've done and received!!!!

thinking about a jihoon whose biggest love languages are quality time and acts of service.

a jihoon that's never been one for physical comfort and never really knows what to say or when to say it and who's always had trouble knowing what kind of material things other people might like.

he's always felt like the kind of person who loves quietly, sometimes so quietly he isn't sure anyone can hear it.

but oh, oh, do you hear it.

you hear it when you find an extra bento box in the fridge that just has a sticky note with a lopsided smiley face drawn on it. you hear it when he silently joins you on the opposite side of the couch and watches the rest of the shark documentary with you at 2 in the morning. you hear it when you complain about being too tired to do the dishes that night and you wake up to an empty sink and wiped-down countertops and a well-swept floor. you hear it when you say you're going out for coffee and his quiet "i'll go with you" is drowned out by the noise of you tripping over the shoes you left in the doorway. you hear it when your hands can't stop shaking and he quietly places his cordless headphones over your ears before sitting down at the keyboard and playing song after song after song until your chest no longer feels like it's filled with empty, infinite, crushing void.

he thinks his love is quiet, but to you, to you, his love is so fucking loud it's like he's screaming it from the rooftops — an endless sonata that you'll always be able to hear.

[paperglader]

Episode 52 thoughts:

1. I am LOVING this FRIDA & Imogen dynamic. I am loving the FRIDA & FCG dynamic, FRIDA and everyone dynamic. I love FRIDA.

Seriously, they’re AWESOME. I feel like they just arrived and flirted with everyone and was just the sweetest. Them and Deanna, too??? And their first meeting was so imodna coded😩

I’m obsessed. The coolest bb:

Can we keep them?

Anyways,

2. Loooooved Deanna. Love Aabria in general, tbh. She’s coming for me with this divorce backstory, so delicious. First Laerryn and Quay, now her and Chetney. I love her. Love that she’s making Travis play a romance storyline, too😂

Backstory was amazing, when she was talking about passing and the after life. Poetry.

The way she dealt with Imogen when she woke up from her nightmare made me melt as well🥲 my girl needs some soft people around her at all times (mostly now that she and Laudna have been separated) and I love that she’s meeting people that truly see and appreciate the good in her besides the hells.

3. Ashley freaking Johnson screaming for Imogen to come back from the dream ✨an actress✨ No, for real, it shook me to my core. Cause Fearne doesn’t scream like that. She was desperate. Fearne who just lost Orym, who just lost Ashton and Laudna. And it’s not the first time it happens either. Not too long ago, Orym and Laudna were gone and it was so close to being final. And now Imogen, the superhero, about to be consumed by the storm that she has spent a decade being haunted by and terrified over. These people that she’d grown to love in spite of her hesitance to form any sort of meaningful bond with anyone from this mortal realm, disappearing from her side, and she’s holding on tight but it seems to be like grasping on sand as they slip away from her fingers one by one. Trauma is very much present in this Chili’s tonight.

4. “I got lightning titties!” please someone put it on the Imogen temult once said compilation 😂

5. Loving these new characters making FCG question his faith even further. Generally, I love the back and forth about what they should actually do about the gods, talks of faith and fate. I am here for it.

6. “Smirks in monster fucker” another star quote of the episode.

7. Imodna is constantly at the forefront of my mind and Laura Bailey delivered, as expected. Immy was literally crying any time that anyone showed her any form of kindness or affection. The girl was so sensitive🥲

The sendings, the urgency, the stuttering and how she kept trying, the Whitestone is for lovers T, “I hate not knowing”, her reaction to hearing FRIDA and Deanna’s first meeting, when she was like “this is the first time that we haven’t woken up to Orym doing push ups OR…” and she got so freaking sad. How she looked for her in her dreams, how she touched the red tether right before she went to sleep.

In summary: I’m loving this separation arc so far and I cannot wait for Laudna’s side of things.

8. Ship talk: FRIDA and Deanna are SO imodna coded, it’s crazy and I adore them. They love each other so much. But ALSO, imodna is my endgame but I would not be upset if we get to see something develop between FRIDA and Imogen. I just think that it would be interesting to see Imogen explore something with someone that is more emotionally available at the moment.

I’m not saying they could fall in love or like become endgame material or something cause I do believe that Imogen’s in love with Laudna and that it’s highly likely that she’s aware of it. Also, her priorities are very much on finding her and she’s very much heartbroken by the distance between them, so she is not looking for romance with anyone else at the moment.

(And also, the world is ending sort of)

But FRIDA is so freaking sweet and Imogen’s having an honest to god hard time, and Laudna’s so freaking far (they’re soulmates, they’ve professed their love for one another, but they’re not… romantically entangled? Are they? Imogen has not said anything and she doesn’t know if laudna feels that way, if she’s even capable of ever feeling that way…)

I wouldn’t blame FRIDA if they became infatuated with Imogen, and I just think that Imogen deserves to be called beautiful and wonderful and good and some harmless flirting would just be nice to see.

It’d be a little like Yu and Laudna, just sort of a reminder of what some of those aspects of a romantic relationship would look like for them. It’d definitely be a “my heart belongs to another” type of thing but also it could be harmless and sweet.

Anyway, none of this probably will happen because FRIDA has chemistry with literally everyone and I’d like to see any version of that anyway.

[trafalgrs]

I’m rereading dressrosa and laws backstory always get to me because he was 10 years old and a cheerful kid with a solid family life and then the government burned his town and killed his family and friends and then he was ostracized by society bc of his disease that wasn’t even contagious!!! Law could have easily become a doflamingo number 2 if not for corazon’s intervention and love. But even THEN corazon would have never stepped in if he didn’t hear law’s full name. And maybe that’s just how the mechanism of fate works in OP when you carry the name “D”. Favor will work for you and not against you.

Anyways I need to get back on here and do some writing but know I am feeling for law in this chilis tonight

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

this is the hi nanna anon again, and oml i do agree w you about yashna crossing the lines!! the black saree thing, her acting like she has a right to question viraj's decisions about mahi, etc

but overall it was overshadowed by the number of things i loved in the movie/the emotions

I think Mrunal being drawn to viraj/mahi did make sense in my head, because I felt like- even though she forgot those memories, her body would remember? i'm not fully sure what I meant but something along the lines of recognising the comfort viraj gave her & subconsciously recognising bits of herself/someone she loved in mahi? but all that might just be the romantic in me being delulu lmao

and I get what you mean by not vibing with it/feeling like it was Too Much, (especially after the malayalam movies), that does make sense.

I desperately needed both the lead characters to go to therapy so many times 😭 helping yashna cope w her trauma before conceiving mahi would've helped in so many ways, no? and like. my brain has been full of thoughts of them dealing with their trauma after the end of the movie (if they make a part 2 exploring their dynamics, i'd die of joy. unfortunately it's not likely to happen at all smh)

and yes 65 roses was so cute and genius

anyway, thanks for answering!! (and for dealing with my unprompted essay lol)

YASHNA i could not for the life of me remember their names lmfao -- and yeah like as far as she knows shes a random stranger and she's demanding traumatic memories and answer from literally a guy at a coffeeshop like 😭😭 please he just spent all day frantically searching for his daughter maybe find him a therapist instead

for me her being drawn to him made sense in like a, the dog recognizing the kid and him, the fact that they didnt stray from their life paths after the accident, like if they were married they would be in the same place not just because they were together but because their lives just played out like that. but i can see how you see it (im a hopeless romantic too so i want this more than the analytical way) and especially with how much trauma yashna went through and only found comfort in viraj, so even without conscious memory her subconscious would still find comfort in him..................... anon i am subscribing to your beliefs

I KNOWWWWWW LIKE PLEASE 7CUPS IS FREEEEE!!!!!!!!! if i was in that movie i would be getting my degree in psychiatry specifically for them. on god we are getting your mental health above the ground bro

yesssssssssssssss, nani has such a Father Face in a way i cannot explain so its for me specifically that he's playing more now that he's older. if i wasnt in love with him i'd ask him to adopt me (and tbh. he's more than old enough to.)

jersey was so sad, i still tear up when i listen to the songs :(((( its a movie i definitely want to watch again when my emotional capacity is more stable lmaoo

no worries at all, i loooooove essay asks like we r having an intellectual conversation in this chilis tonight 🙏🏽🙏🏽 i will literally never be annoyed im like omg friend :]

[vsnotresponding]

V, I'm back (again)

How are we feeling in this Chili's tonight about our last week of peace before I rain hell and fire on your trash son?

Any predictions on how cruel I'm going to be? (I'm so curious plz tell me if you have them)

Anyway, love you and I hope you enjoy the fluff before I wreck everything <333 (i used a pun here)

feeling very happy after that last scene might not open next week's notifs at all <3 (who am I kidding I will read it of course I will)

(i have a feeling min will try to stop someone who's intoxicated and has a gun and in the struggle that gun will go off)

[anemone-ships]

Phantom - Is your f/o superstitious? Are they interested much in the paranormal or the occult?

Ouch - How would your f/o react to seeing you hurt (either mild or major)?

Star - Gush about your f/o! Or a s/i! Whatever you want!

thank you sm for the asks, cookie!! 💚

phantom — i've been reading the fn.af mo.vie no.vel recently, and while i don't consider every little thing in there to be 100% canon as it was based on an earlier version of the script, i love all the little details we find out about mike and his past/emotions/thought processes!

all of this is to say that generally i think he is a strong realist and doesn't think about/believe in the supernatural normally, but scenes like when he explores the main room of the pizzeria during his first night on the job lead me to believe that he can jump to wild conclusions when he's in a state of heightened anxiety. thus, i'm sure that it leads him to thinking about stuff like ghosts or supernatural phenomena being real when otherwise he wouldn't. he's definitely more of a believer after the movie as well, that's for sure lmao

---------------

ouch — oh we are writing ANGST in this chili's tonight. mike is just such a born carer/protector that he would be absolutely beside himself if he saw me/my s/i majorly hurt. he'd cycle through so many emotions and likely blame himself even if it was completely out of his control ("i should've been there"). this leads me/my s/i to feel awful in turn, like i should have been able to handle myself so mike wouldn't worry. :,)

if it's a smaller injury however (which i/my s/i gets frequently, i am very accident prone!), he's a lot more level-headed and methodical from the outset. gets me to run it under water if it's bleeding, finds the nearest first aid kit or a band aid from his bag, bandages it oh so tenderly while nagging at me to be more careful next time.

---------------

star — GUSH TIME YAAAAAY did you know that i love m.ike schm.idt so much because i really really do. i know this is a wild and crazy revelation for everyone (/j). i never anticipated that he would mean this much to me, it's been almost half a year since i fell for him and he's become such an important part of my life!! i was having an awful day yesterday and thinking about him honestly helped me get through, he gives me so much comfort and looking at him always makes me smile!!

i love his messy curly hair and the freckles under his eyes and the way his clothes are all just a bit too big for him. i love how he looks like he's apathetic to everything, but deep down he cares so much that it hurts. i see a lot of my autistic traits in him (especially in the mo.vie no.vel), like his bluntness, sensory issues and need for routine, and that's really comforting!! plus i just love a sleepy sopping wet boyfailure what can i say. in hindsight it's surprising that i didn't fall for him sooner, the movie writers really sat down and said "ok we're going to write a character that appeals to n specifically" (/silly).

anyway yea i am kissing him on the forehead

cookie's 100 follower special ask game!

[lightningandfireinmybones]

AGREED WITH FELLOW ANON i lost my mind seeing the unlikable female protagonist warning. i personally can’t imagine how anyone can dislike her (yeah she’s messy but aren’t we all?). i also have to remind myself not all readers are on your tumblr getting fed more content and gaining more insight (their loss). but as the current self destructive girly from earlier…i wanted to say thank you again for making her struggles realistic. while the exact details are far from the same…the process is similar. people think self destructive is just doing bad things and regretting it after. but really it’s knowing something is bad but you’re going to do it anyways and keep doing it because you just don’t care anymore. and i feel like this portrayal is very evident in valaena and i appreciate it 🥺🥺 (ps as that neurotic rereader thank u for providing me with something that makes me happy to escape and read as a bio major in survival mode rn)

LMFAO BESTIE

people have their own opinions but like,,, i'm gonna keep my characters flawed and self destructive and imperfect!!! they're so much more fun that way, so much more relatable and true to life and then i will be passive aggressive in my notes about it lmfao

baby thank you, i am self destructive girly at heart and it was incredibly self indulgent to make valaena like that too (ITS FANFIC I CAN BE AS SELF INDULGENT AS I WANT MY SELF INDULGENCE ALSO GAVE US BIG COCK AEMOND AND BREEDING KINK AEMOND OKAY ITS FINE DON'T COME FOR ME), and i'm so glad wer're all metaphorically holding hands and bonding over this because we deserve more representation!!! the girlies should be able to be messy and self destructive and flawed and still get love!!! sometimes you do something bad just because you can and you wanna see how you feel after and that deserves a place in fic too!!!

so thank you bestie, i feel soft and seen in this chilis tonight

godspeed at school and i wish you the best!! may we be

[wardencommanderrodimiss]

WOLF. I already yelled at you about Brennan calling Skyhold his "first home". But god. Brennan thinking he has to grieve alone because he doesn't have the right to grieve Ena the way that Esti and Dorian do. You just drop that on me??? Him thinking about how Dorian will have no one else besides him, if Ena is gone? I feel pain in this Chili's tonight.

“You should have told me something was wrong! I am tired of the people around me refusing to tell me something is wrong!” “I am trying to help you!” "You're denying me the chance to help the man I love, and possibly the only person in this forsaken mess I can actually aid!"

hi what if I scream.

“I- I can’t go with you to Tevinter.” Dorian exhaled heavily, “you could.” “No, I can’t because… We can’t just leave Esti, Dorian. We can’t. Ena said go where my heart took me, but I have to choose between you two, we both know she can’t come with us to Tevinter, and I- Ena asked, how can I just leave her after Ena… I can’t just leave her alone, Dorian.”

HI WHAT IF I SCREAM. The fact that Brennan would no doubt be fretting over Esti in this situation anyway, but the fact that Ena asked, put Brennan in the situation where - yeah, she told him to go where his heart tells him, but she also asked him to take care of Esti. It's not just that Brennan is thinking "Ena would want me to take care of Esti", it's that Ena asked him to. She put that burden on him. Unfair of her, when she and Esti still have a clan and Brennan has no one but them and Dorian, but - Ena's dying, that's unfair to her. They're all just trying to navigate this horrible situation and colliding with each other because there is no good way through.

“And then, I don’t know when I’m going to get to Tevinter, because I have nothing. I have a horse Ena gave me, and the clothes on my back. I am not going back to Ostwick. But I don’t have anything that’s mine.”

HE DOESN'T THINK THAT THERE'S ANYONE ELSE WILLING TO HELP HIM. As if any of the inner circle would let him just stumble away with nothing!! But he's Brennan, so he doesn't think about that! About how at worst, they would still help him for Ena's sake!

“I know I said I was leaving, but I love you. And somehow, I will find my way to you. And the Maker himself wouldn’t be able to keep me from your side.” Dorian shook his head fondly, “Maker, how could I not adore you.”

They're so cute that I'm getting cuteness aggression. I need to strangle them both. Just because of how sweet they're being.

“Yes, though Esti and Ena will likely yell at us when they discover we wed shortly before I first returned to Tevinter.” Brennan squeezed his hand, “we… we don’t have to tell them. But I was thinking, we should have a ceremony, and we’re all here… and… well.” “Ah. Yes. Ena.” She would not be here much longer, she had said as much.

EVERYONE is going to yell. You deny Cassandra the romantic a chance to attend your wedding? Jail!! Jail for the husbands Pavus for ten thousand years!! Do you think they get away with not telling them or does Cole say something and blow everything up? Cole's gonna blow everything up.

“Returning to Tevinter, having been wed to another man in a ceremony performed by the Inquisitor, a Dalish elf, is exactly the kind of scandalous note I would love to leave on.”

And exactly the kind of scandal that Ena would be happy to leave on, too. Something for her dear friends, that appalls Orlesians and Tevenes alike? How could she ever say no?

Anyway I'm chewing glass.

We Might Fall

Me, miss a chance to name a fic after a song? Perish the thought.

Also a follow up to @wardencommanderrodimiss's fic which you should definitely read.

--

Brennan slipped away, his soft steps would not pull Dorian from his task now, as he poured over tomes and pages, and scraps, for something about the Anchor. Something to buy Ena even a day more.

Even the creak of the door to Dorian’s rooms, a fine suite for an ambassador, did nothing to distract him from his desperate search. Brennan paused for a moment in the doorframe to watch him. Memorizing the way the light from the candles flickered over his face, the frown of concentration, the way he had spent his last day in Skyhold in the rotunda, trying to memorize the frescos, to remember how every step in Skyhold looked.

In case he could never go to his first home again.

Brennan closed the door behind him and made his way away from the rooms. The last thing he needed was for another ambassador to catch him when he was like this. Especially if the rumor was true, and Maxwell had come to represent Ostwick.

Idly, Brennan wondered if Dorian could have his room moved next to him, just so Brennan could have Dorian take him against the wall where Maxwell would have to hear his younger brother get his back blown out. But whatever petty joy he’d have found in that was minor compared to the desire to never see his brother again. The desire that this life, the one he’d fought and bled for, and built with shaking hands, would be entirely untouched by his family.

So he fled, to dark corners, tucked out of sight, of people, of stars, to finally allow himself to grieve. Where Dorian didn’t have to put aside his own pain to deal with Brennan, crying over a keep and- Yes, he was grieving Ena, but Ena wasn’t- he and Ena weren’t close like how Dorian and her were. He would miss her, and he loved her, but she wasn’t his, the way she was Esti and Dorian’s.

So he needed to grieve now, where they didn’t have to fix him, where he wasn’t hurting them and being one more thing for them to deal with. So he could be there for them to lean on without giving out under their weight.

He’d never had people that depended on him like this, so he needed to get it right. No making Dorian guilty for going back, no making them need to support him, he needed to be the strong one.

He’d promised Ena he’d take care of Esti after all. And if Ena was gone, who was going to look after Dorian but him?

Over his own ragged sobs, he heard the sound of his name, and looked up to find Dorian standing over him.

“Dorian?”

Immediately he was by Brennan’s side, “are you hurt?”

“N-no?” He was too bewildered by the question to fully understand why Dorian was examining him, hands pulling his clothes as though looking for something, “how did you-”

“The candles blew out, I don’t know if it was Cole or just luck, and I realized you were gone. What are you doing out here?”

Brennan wiped at his face with one sleeve, “it’s-”

“Do not lie to me.” Dorian frowned and Brennan flinched. Dorian leaned on his staff, before he offered Brennan his hand, and helped him to his feet. “Please.”

“It’s stupid,” Brennan said instead, which made Dorian frown again, “I didn’t want you to… you were busy.”

“So you left to come have a breakdown where anyone could find you?”

“I was hidden.” Brennan argued, head snapping up at Dorian’s tone, even as he blinked back tears, “I’m-”

“You were where if something had happened, I wouldn’t have found you until it was too late-”

“Nothing was going to happen to me-”

“You don’t know that, and you could have least told me you were going out!”

“You were busy, I didn’t want to bother you!”

“You should have told me something was wrong! I am tired of the people around me refusing to tell me something is wrong!”

“I am trying to help you!”

"You're denying me the chance to help the man I love, and possibly the only person in this forsaken mess I can actually aid!"

Brennan’s breath hitched and he stared at Dorian, how his eyes pierced him, the tightness in his body, Dorian favored fire and fear for his spells but when he was angry Brennan always thought of him as ice. Sharp, cold, jagged, painful to handle.

But ice could be thawed.

"I don't want to fight, amatus." Brennan pronounced the word perfectly, years had taught his tongue to mimic the way Dorian said it, the slight hiss at the end, the one thing he could give him, love in his own language. Because he had chosen another cast out of their family but Brennan had not landed on his feet as Dorian had, much of what he had was others. Even the amulet he'd recovered for Dorian had taken Ena's help. All Brennan had to give Dorian was his heart, which the other man held completely.

Dorian sighed, and with it the tension went out of him, “nor I.”

Brennan took a step towards him, the urge to flee beaten by his desire to see this through. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Dorian looked up, and let out a breath, “I know.”

Brennan offered his hand, which Dorian took in his, tangling their fingers together until their palms were pressed together. “I… I thought, with your father, with Ena, the last thing you needed was to comfort me. That you needed me to catch you.”

Dorian squeezed his hand, “and I do. But I need you to let me catch you.”

“And deny ourselves a chance to be martyrs?” Brennan shot back, a smile pulling his lips, and relief bloomed in his chest to see Dorian mirror it. “If we cannot suffer and be incredibly vocal and dramatic about it Dorian, what is the point?”

“Says the one who fled like a wounded animal rather than allow others to help him.”

Brennan had no response to that, so he simply squeezed Dorian’s hand. They stood in silence, save for the distant sounds of the people gathered for the Exalted Council.

“I am… bad at asking for help.”

Dorian laughed softly, “he says, like I haven’t spent the last two years learning this.”

Brennan preferred to watch their hands than Dorian’s face in response to this. Than admit that his family had made him feel like such a burden he struggled to accept the help Dorian offered at times. But that was how they were, their rough edges rubbed against each other, smoothing them out, working down the jagged edges. Occasionally they caught on the other, but never for long. Not when it felt like their broken pieces fit together.

Dorian gently pulled and Brennan went to him, Dorian’s hands moving to his waist. “Talk to me, amatus.”

Brennan took a deep breath, once he began he didn’t think he’d be able to stop. “I- I can’t go with you to Tevinter.”

Dorian exhaled heavily, “you could.”

“No, I can’t because… We can’t just leave Esti, Dorian. We can’t. Ena said go where my heart took me, but I have to choose between you two, we both know she can’t come with us to Tevinter, and I- Ena asked, how can I just leave her after Ena… I can’t just leave her alone, Dorian.”

“Ah. No, I… I see your point.”

“And then, I don’t know when I’m going to get to Tevinter, because I have nothing. I have a horse Ena gave me, and the clothes on my back. I am not going back to Ostwick.” Brennan swore; he would never give his family the satisfaction of having him crawl back to them, “But I don’t have anything that’s mine.”

“Amatus.”

“So it’s you or Esti, and once again I’m in someone else’s home because once they decide on the Inquisition- I will not serve the Chantry or an Inquisitor that isn’t Ena, and she’s- they won’t let me stay at Skyhold, so it’s Wycome or Tevinter because the other option is the woods-”

“Brennan, breathe.”

The breath Brennan took in response to Dorian’s order was a ragged mess, “and I have… I have to leave one of you alone, and I- it feels like everything around me is being torn apart, and I’m stuck in the middle, watching a storm rip everything around me apart but not touched. So how- how selfish of me is it to ask you to comfort me when your best friend and father-”

Dorian sighed heavily, “you are losing the life you built away from your family. Your older sister. You are very much allowed to grieve for that.” He frowned and studied Brennan’s face a moment, “you have not encountered your brother, have you?”

“No. I think he’s attempting to avoid me, for once.” It was a nice change, given after two years Maxwell’s disapproval no longer whispered in his ears for every perceived mistake. The voice instead felt more like Cole’s. Kinder and more understanding.

“Good. I would hate to be thrown out for setting the Ostwick representative on fire.”

Brennan laughed, leaning forward to rest his forehead on Dorian’s shoulder. “I think he’d drop dead on the spot to see us together. To know someone like you wanted me.”

Dorian twitched slightly, and Brennan smiled. “He wouldn’t understand it. You have so many options, even if you didn’t wish to play pretend, why throw it all away for me?”

“Are you asking as well?”

Brennan shook his head, pulling back to give Dorian a fond look, “no.” He offered a playful smile, “unless you wish to sing my praises. I might swoon.”

“Deflecting is my trick, amatus.”

Brennan pulled Dorian into a hug, to feel his arms wrap around him, warm against his back, holding him close. Dorian always felt so warm, Brennan wished he could stay here, in his arms, forever.

“It’s not fair.” 

“No. It’s not.”

Neither of them elaborated, not when the entire situation was unfair, to them, to Ena, to everything they’d built, everything they’d fought for.

They stayed like that for some time, before Dorian pulled away, to cup Brennan’s face in his hands. “I appreciate the concern for my well being. But next time, please simply ask me.”

“Are you alright?”

“No.” Dorian admitted, letting his hands fall to Brennan’s shoulders, “Maker this… unfair is an understatement.”

Brennan reached up to wrap his hand around Dorian’s wrist, rubbing his thumb over Dorian’s palm where he could reach it.

Somewhere in the distance, Brennan could hear music from some far off corner, too far to make out any of the lyrics, if there were any. “Dorian?”

“Yes?”

“Dance with me?”

Dorian lifted his head, “what? Now? With no music?”

Brennan offered his hand in reply, which Dorian took, the other remaining on Brennan’s shoulder, while Brennan rested his hand on Dorian’s hip. “It’s not as though we’ve had a proper first dance. You lead.”

Dorian’s laugh was more a huff than actual laughter, “eager to follow me, are you?”

Brennan stepped with him, there may have been no music, not even the distant music he’d heard offered anything to dance to, but there was Dorian and that was enough. “I know I said I was leaving, but I love you. And somehow, I will find my way to you. And the Maker himself wouldn’t be able to keep me from your side.”

Dorian shook his head fondly, “Maker, how could I not adore you.” He guided them around, Brennan easily matching his steps, “and it isn’t as though I’ll be far from you. That sending crystal I gave you…”

Brennan almost reached for it, as he was already wearing it, “near to my heart, as always.”

Dorian made a choked noise, even as they didn’t miss a step. “If you don’t stop, I will also start saying syrupy things.”

“You make it easy to dote on you, amatus.”

Dorian made the noise again, while Brennan grinned, awed to watch the great Dorian Pavus flustered by a bit of affection. “We’ve been together for almost three years, Dorian, and that’s all it takes to fluster you?”

“You continue to surprise me, after all this time.” Dorian replied, “I never expected to find someone like you, and then you are so open with how you love. And you look at me like that, it is…”

“I think I know the feeling,” Brennan assured him quietly, “to think something like this, someone like you, was something I would never have.”

They continued to move in an easy tandem, months on the battlefield and years by each other’s side had taught them how to move in sync, letting the world fall away, save for them, dancing beneath the stars.

Dorian looked at him with wonder, “look at you.”

“Hmm?” Brennan looked to him, “what?”

“I rarely get the chance to see you so… carefree.”

The guilt crashed over him instantly, and his smile wobbled, before he forced it back. This was a moment for them, to feel happy, and free, they deserved this.

“We don’t get enough moments like this…” Brennan trailed off, Dorian slowed the dance to a halt, so they stood, alone in the moons’ light.

“What are you thinking, amatus? I see that look, you’re up to something.”

“Marry me?”

Dorian did a double take, and Brennan grinned, “come now, Dorian, you already said yes once.”

“I asked you once.”

“You did say I do.” Brennan pointed out to his husband, “but… It’s rather contradictory of me, since part of why I don’t want to go with you is so that I can’t be used against you.” Dorian winced slightly, but they both knew it was true. Brennan would be a weak spot, especially now that he was a magister. “But, if you’re willing, we could have a more public ceremony than the two of us.”

And a witness and someone to perform the ceremony.

“Yes, though Esti and Ena will likely yell at us when they discover we wed shortly before I first returned to Tevinter.”

Brennan squeezed his hand, “we… we don’t have to tell them. But I was thinking, we should have a ceremony, and we’re all here… and… well.”

“Ah. Yes. Ena.”

She would not be here much longer, she had said as much.

Brennan forced past the sadness, “and I think she would love to officiate for us.”

“Returning to Tevinter, having been wed to another man in a ceremony performed by the Inquisitor, a Dalish elf, is exactly the kind of scandalous note I would love to leave on.” Dorian pulled Brennan into a kiss, “yes, I do believe we could, assuming Josephine doesn’t kill us for giving her one more thing to plan.”

“She might thank us for giving her something that is this low stakes.” Brennan remarked idly, chasing Dorian for another kiss.

Dorian more than allowed it, halting their conversation for several kisses, before he replied, “I don’t know how lowkey she would allow this to be.”

“I said low stakes, amatus. She’s going to chew us both out for making her get us suits with this little warning.” Brennan parted his mouth and then blurted out, “is it more scandalous if the Dalish Inquisitor officiates your wedding, or the Southern Chantry’s Divine?”

Dorian laughed warmly at that, “I do so adore you, for knowing how to delight me. I would prefer Ena, though.”

“Then Ena it will be. We can just have the Divine bless our union, or something ceremonial. You only get married, publicly at least, once.”

Dorian pulled him in for another kiss, “you know I have yet to say yes.”

“As if you could say no to me.” Brennan teased, before Dorian caught his lips.

“You are right. I couldn’t. So, yes it is. We’ll ask Ena in the morning, and then find a way to hide from Josephine.”

Brennan’s chest felt easier, this felt better. A good memory, a proper send off for a dear friend, that she could be included in something they’d want her a part of. He wanted to ask Dorian if he felt the same, if this had lifted some of the pain off of him.

Then again, all he had to do was look at how Dorian was smiling at him to know. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too, amatus.”

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

If I tell you I just scrolled through literally every post in your blog that has the word "pretty" in it in order to find the tumblr version of said fic and get the link, do you want me to dm it to you or something

Nonnie twas faster at sending in an ask I see. Well played! I graciously accept my defeat in a race I didn't know I was in XD

me, expecting nothing: here is a frustrating problem i have

yall: *immediately take steps to correct the problem without me even asking*

me:

[itspileofgoodthings]

just heard coat of many colors by Dolly Parton for the first time I’m so sorry I’m going to need a minute or several days——

[dont-offend-the-bees]

i don’t read high school aus in general (literally stopped caring the second i wasn’t in high school anymore) but i especially don’t read shadowhunters hs aus, and it’s for the simple fact that i do not personally think that magnus and alec should be kids in high school with the rest of the cast. obviously if that’s what you wanna write, more than fair godspeed have fun, but it doesn’t vibe with me. no, they are not in classes with the rest of them- or hanging out with the others at lunch if they’re in the year above or w/e. they are not in school at all, maybe college, not school.

no, alec is the eldest brother who just escaped highschool, just got his own car and his own part-time job and his own hot experienced somewhat older boyfriend and is feeling pretty fucking pleased with his newfound freedom, but who keeps getting his buzz thoroughly killed by the fact that he’s now tagged in as go-to babysitter/chauffeur for his younger siblings and their annoying friends. don’t stick your alec in high school with the rest of them, friends, set him free, set yourself free; allow yourself the joy of 20 y/o alec simmering in rage in the front seat of his affordable starter car, biting his tongue attempting not to snap at this girl clary that his baby brother and/or sister is obsessed with because she’s just a child she’s just a child yes she’s the fucking worst but she’s just a child, grumpily texting his boyfriend when he’s stuck waiting in the car and running late for their date, getting teased with childish kissy faces from his younger siblings when they catch him smiling goofily at his phone. no more malec being adorable smitten kids in the school cafeteria; more glimpses of young adult alec being flustered and magnus being irritated/amused after having to cut their date nights short to go prevent a gaggle of disaster teens from taking a group trip to the emergency room

[emmett-mchearty]

Me currently:

[lazyfox411]

.

[piscescastiel]

something something insane metanarrative, something about how they managed to fall in love in a hundred thousand different versions of the story but even then it's STILL not because they were soulmates, it's STILL not because they were ever fated to be or inevitable, it's literally JUST because castiel "the one off the line with a crack in his chassis" supernatural loved his version of dean winchester SO much and dean loved him back that it sent shockwaves through every other version of events