#anyway here u go ! it's just a silly little chapter one but I have a lot written for the next ones so heehee

[sochilll]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman, Kleinsen - Relationship Characters: Evan Hansen, Jared Kleinman Additional Tags: Getting Together, Sickfic, In a way Summary:

Evan ends up in the hospital for intense stomach pain and needs someone to take care of him

[johnwickb1tsch]

gif by ficsnroses

bittersweet ~ a yandere!John Wick x fem!reader sunshine/grump coffee shop AU... Part 43 all chapters

WARNINGS FOR THIS FIC: NSFW, SEXUAL CONTENT, VIOLENCE, YANDERE SH!T. Plz take care. I luv u all. 😘

43.  surprise

A week later John interrupts you in your studio, looking unfairly edible in old jeans and a white henley, wiping his hands with a greasy rag. By his little smile, you can tell he was watching you for a while, before purposely alerting you of his presence. 

You don’t mind the interruption. You were just playing around, not feeling particularly inspired, just doodling. It’s funny, how contentment can kill your driving need to make your mark on a canvas, as though you’ve made some devil’s bargain with your muse.  

“I have a surprise for you.” 

“Baaaabe…” It still makes you a little uncomfortable. All the gifts. He presented you with a new phone the other day, programmed with your old number no less, and you are still feeling guilty for some reason, even though he destroyed your last one. Aside from the photos, and the occasional texts with your friends who are usually too busy for you anyway…you hadn’t really missed the device. 

You asked if he would like for you to go back to work, feeling like a freeloader–and he laughed at you before kissing you silly, and walking out of the room. 

You’d called your mother to check in, and found out she didn’t even realize you were gone longer than you were supposed to be in Italy. Your youngest half-sibling was crying for something on the other end of the line, and she had to let you go after barely saying hello. 

You’re not really sure why you even try, anymore, but it left you feeling slightly less sad than usual after talking with her. At least, you’re not alone anymore. You have someone in your life who thinks you irreplaceable. You feel how precious that is, more than ever. 

“I think you’re really going to like this one. I’m going to like it too. Come on.” 

You sidle up to him, not moving half as quickly as he’d like. You can tell by the way he narrows his eyes down at you, those plush lips pulled in a half-smile. Truth be told…the way this simple white shirt fits across his chest does unmentionable things to you, and you’re not sure you’re in a hurry to go anywhere. 

“If you keep looking at me like that, you’re not getting your surprise today,” he playfully threatens. 

“I have everything I need right here,” you assure him, running hands over his pecs, completely distracted. He catches your mouth with a groan, strong hands digging into your waist hard enough to bruise. 

“I’m going to sling you over my shoulder in five seconds if you don’t come downstairs with me.” 

“No!” you giggle, nipping him on the lip and running out the door. He chases you, and you laugh as you sprint down the hall, adrenaline and too much joy to stand singing through your veins. You feel like your heart literally might burst. 

He doesn’t catch you until you are down the stairs and halfway across the living room, grabbing you up in his strong arms, bending you over backwards with the fury of his kiss. He grins like a wolf between nipping at your tender flesh, and suddenly you find yourself on the floor, sinking into the plush new area rug with his solid weight on top of you.

“Hey, what about my surprise?” you goad him, laughing as he seems to attempt to bite through your bra strap under your shirt.

“I have a different surprise for you now, kitten,” he growls, unbuttoning your jeans. Your mirth quickly turns to moans, as his long fingers find your wet center, swiping up your juices and circling your clit.

As surprises go–this wasn’t bad at all.

***

You make it to the garage–eventually.

He blindfolded you with a clean dish towel, because it was on hand after the two of you staggered drunkenly like lovesick idiots to the kitchen for a drink of water, after christening John’s new rug. Soft. Good cushion. 10/10. Imagining giving this review to Charlie’s tough-looking clean up crew makes you almost choke on an ice cube.

“John!” you complain when you bang your toe on something. A tool box? Your legs still feel like spaghetti. 

“Sorry,” he chortles, not sorry at all, but trying to lead you with more care with arms on your shoulders. You take little steps, trying to track where you are in the garage, but your brain isn’t really functioning yet. 

“Hold out your hands.” 

You do so, extending them in front of you, groping through the air. Your fingertips brush something rubbery. And…some metal tubing. Your other hand finds the cool curve of…a gas tank. “Are you taking me for a ride?” you ask excitedly, caressing the contours of the leather seat.

“I thought I just did?” 

“Pfft,” you tease. “On wheels. I missed the motorcycle.”  

“That’s good news. Because you’ve got your own now.”

What? 

Now you can’t stop yourself from tearing off the blindfold, finding a sleek beetle-black machine before you. It’s smaller, definitely not John’s bike–but it’s cool. 

“It’s a Kawasaki. Just 400cc’s,” he tells you, patting the seat. “Perfect starter bike. When you get the hang of it we’ll get you something with more kick.” 

The significance of this particular offering does not escape you. That he would offer you the means of transporting yourself independently speaks of this newborn trust between you–and it means the world to you. He only staggers a little when you suddenly throw your arms around his neck, pressing your lips to his. “I love it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. When do we start?”

“You’ll have to get your learner’s permit. But I’ll take you to the empty parking lot in town right now, if you want to start learning how to shift.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Yeah?” His polished ebony eyes are absolutely shining, and you don’t know how it’s possible, that every time you think you couldn’t be happier, this man raises the bar again. 

How far the two of you have come.  

“One question.”

“Hmm?”

“Where does the samurai sword go?”

[aquaquadrant]

was rereading the first part of final chapter of HTP and got caught up thinking about the whole “go get x if we don’t come back by tomorrow” thing between grian and mumbo. what if they didn’t come back. what would x do who would he go to.

i’m a MCSR addict and considering MCC, i’ve been thinking that he goes to some of the crazy good players that the hermits have been teamed with. feinberg, fruitberries, hbomb, petezahutt, and purpled are the main ones— five of the best players going feral to help out their silly little hermit friends. fein and fruit especially cause fein’s teamed with tango, and fruit is fruit. his friendship with grian in old mcc’s makes me so happy. “fruity b!!” being screamed from grian when fruit finds him from whatever they caught got by in hels makes me so happy.

anyway here’s my hels names for my silly little guys:

feinberg — matthew (irl, feinberg is his last name. matthew is his first name)

fruitberries — rotthorn (rot & thorn. fruit rots and berry bushes have thorns)

purpled — yellowed (complementary colors)

petezahutt — dominoes (goes by “dom”)

hbomb94 — honestly no idea please help guys

anyway hi sorry i’m nate i found htp like 2 weeks ago and went a smidge crazy for it. suggested it to all my friends who don’t even know what a hermitcraft or a life series is. hehe. teehee went a little wild. anyway thanks for listening to me yap and thank you for making such a good fic and such a good au you’ve given me so many brainwaves.

HELLO THANK U welcome to our lil corner of gay blockman angst ��

gotta be honest, when i had grian say they’d have to tell x it was more along the lines of just ‘he’s the admin and admins should be informed of these kinds of things’ rather than implicating any sort of plan of action on x’s part. but if he HAD gotten involved it prob would’ve been limited to the other hermits (on account of me not being familiar with any players outside of hermitcraft havsjdgajhahs….)

but damn those are some NEAT HELS u got there, idk these players but the names are very pleasing 👀

hbomb94… it’s annoying he’s already got ‘h’ in his name cuz that’s usually my go-to swap letter for a hels HAH so maybe we just keep it. but u could take ‘bomb’ as in the actual physical weapon, a violent action, or complete failure and that provides some fun opportunities. right off the dome i’m thinking either ‘napalm’ (phonetically similar) or ‘blitz’ (describing the action of bombing) or ‘flop’. u could ALSO get into opposites but typically i like to use the more dramatic/violent/edgy names for most hels. ofc it also depends on what characterization ur going for and i don’t know hbomb well enough to design a hels definitively. and for numbers i just swap em. SO some options for ya: napalm49 (dropped the h so it’s the same number of syllables), hblitz49, hflop49.

[waytooinvested]

Forgotten, Not Forgiven - Chapter 27

This and previous chapters are also on AO3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They sat in silence for a little while after that, the quiet broken only by a low, regular beeping from one of Kara’s monitors and the distant bustle of the DEO going about its day to day business. Out there agents would be dealing with (hopefully relatively minor) emergencies, hurrying about on important missions, gossiping, arguing, keeping the world turning; but in here behind the closed med bay doors everything was blessedly still. As Lena’s breathing synced to Kara’s, she finally began to feel her heart rate returning to something like its normal rhythm. She was alright. It was all going to be alright now.

‘Lena?’

‘Mmm?’

‘Are you sure you’re really okay to stay here? Because you don’t have to, if- I mean, I don’t want you to go obviously. But I know you walked out on a big event for me, and if you have things you need to do, or if you just want some space to process and be mad at me, you can. I’ll be fine, and I promise not to do anything to get myself hurt again if you’re not here to keep an eye on me.’

The small part of Lena that was still inhabiting her other life pointed out that yes, she really should go. She should be checking on Jess and the demo team, reviewing footage, writing press releases and a thousand other things, but she ignored it.

It wasn’t that it didn’t matter.

It was just that the part of her brain where it mattered was so far away from where she was right now, she couldn’t bring herself to do anything about it but hold Kara tighter.

‘As long as you want me here, this is where I want to be. Anyway, the advantage of everyone thinking I just had my appendix out is that I’m now more or less obliged not to do any work for the next couple of days at least, and even after that I’ll need to take it easy while I “recover from my surgery”.’

Saying this reminded Lena of the other recovery plan she had yet to discuss with Kara, and all of a sudden her stomach was fluttering with a very different kind of anxiety to the one she’d felt earlier. The idea had seemed so reasonable when she’d suggested it to Alex, but now it felt bigger somehow, more significant and… intimate.

Don’t be silly. You’re not suggesting a lesbian u-haul, this is a purely practical, platonic, medically sensible arrangement. Just ask her.

‘Actually Kara… I was thinking maybe we could recover together. Since your apartment has so many stairs up to it and Alex doesn’t have a spare room, I wondered if you’d be up for coming to stay with me for a few weeks? Just until you’re well enough to manage by yourself. It could be fun: like a best friend sleepover every night, only with less Twister and more pain meds.’

‘We have never played Twister at a sleepover. We absolutely should though, I love that game, and Alex has refused to play it with me since high school.’

‘So… is that a yes?’

Lena was already smiling through the question, still nervous but finally allowing the feeling to mingle with a growing excitement at the idea of sharing a home with Kara (no matter how briefly and platonically it might be). But rather than the ‘of course!’ and happy smile she was expecting Kara’s worry crinkle appeared between her brows, and she bit her lip. Almost immediately she released it again with a pained hiss, but instead of answering the question she just muttered something under her breath about stupid hard sidewalks and their effect on the stupid soft human body if you fell just a tiny bit, and how was anyone ever supposed to stay in one piece anyway?

‘… Kara?’

The grumbling stopped.

‘Sorry, I’m just- I’m not sure it’s the best idea.’

‘Oh.’

Lena had considered a dozen potential pitfalls for her plan to take care of Kara through her injury, but for some reason the idea that she simply might not want to live together had never occurred to her. She had no right to feel disappointed by that, but she did. Just a little bit.

As if Kara could read her mind, she hurried to reassure her.

‘It’s not that I don’t want to! I’m sure being roommates would be so much fun, and I’m really, really grateful for the offer, it’s amazing of you. It’s just that… well, I’m going to need help with showering and getting to the bathroom and things, at least until my wrist is better. And I just wasn’t sure if you could… do that?’

‘Oh!’ Lena said again, and then chuckled. Was that all?

She might never be a match for her unfairly advantaged Kryptonian friend when it came to physical strength, but did Kara really think she didn’t have it in her to help someone to the bathroom without dropping them?

…Alright, so there had been that one time at the bunker when she had technically dropped Kara, but it had been mostly Alex’s fault, and anyway, Kara didn’t know about that. Besides, Lena had been keeping up her strength training ever since (despite the voice in her head that pointed out how many other things she had to do, and how unlikely she was to end up in a situation where she would need to carry an unconscious adult by herself (again)), and her muscles had never been in better shape than they were right now. She flexed them subtly, feeling the satisfying strain of her biceps against the unyieldingly tight fabric of her shirt sleeves.

‘Luckily for you it just so happens that I’ve been working on building up my strength the last few months. Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall.’

This time.

‘No, that’s not- I mean, great! Um, wow, that’s- that’s so great, but. Um.’

Instead of sounding relieved Kara’s voice had gone weirdly high, her cheeks blooming suddenly and startlingly pink against the pallor of post-injury shock, and the steady beeping of her heart rate monitor had noticeably increased in a way that made no sense, unless-

Lena swallowed, throat drying as she considered the possible implications.

‘… Is it because I’d see you naked?’

‘Well-’

Kara was now so red she looked almost sunburned, but she didn’t try to bluff or deny it.

‘Um. Kind of? But for you, not me. Things have been so good between us lately, I don’t want to push it too far and make you feel uncomfortable around me.’

‘Oh darling, of course I wouldn’t be. Why would you think I’d feel uncomfortable?’

‘Because of… you know… our fight. The whole…’

Kara hesitated, as if Lena might jump in and spare her from having to finish her sentence, but she didn’t. A dawning, horrified suspicion had begun to form in her mind at Kara’s mumbled words, and she needed her to finish.

After an agonising couple of seconds, she did, in a whisper.

‘The gay thing.’

The gay thing.

The GAY THING?

As in her gay thing?

Or… Kara’s gay thing?

Was Kara saying what she thought she was saying?

It was no good, she couldn’t keep guessing or trying to put the pieces together with an incomplete picture, no matter that she was supposed to know all of this already. She had to ask. Lena closed her eyes for a few moments, trying to picture snow. Frost. Blizzards and ice and the goddamn Arctic Circle to keep her cheeks from flaming, but she was pretty sure it wasn’t working.

‘I think-’

She broke off to clear her throat, and was relieved when her voice came out steadier on a second attempt.

‘I think maybe you and I have a different perspective on exactly what happened in our fight. Would you please tell me your side?’

Kara squirmed.

‘I don’t want to bring it all back up again. I don’t want to ruin this.’

She looked more frightened than Lena thought she had ever seen her before, and it took everything she had not to take the request back, to tell her they didn’t have to talk about it after all, not if she really didn’t want to (but they did have to. They’d put this off too long already. Lena had put it off too long. She needed to know).

‘Kara, I know it’s hard and just after you’ve had an accident isn’t the best time to have this conversation, but I still think we need to. I’m sorry I stopped you when you tried to raise this before, but I’m ready to listen properly now. I’m not going anywhere this time, and I’m not going to get angry with you again. I promise.’

‘Okay…’

Kara stared down at her knees, still looking like she’d rather take her chances jumping off another roof than talking about this, but not arguing any further.

‘So I should probably start at the beginning of the whole Hopeful Paragon thing. Given how our- um… conversation about that went, I don’t think I ever properly explained to you why I was doing it in the first place. And before I do I want to be clear that this isn’t an excuse for what happened with us at all, but I think it might help explain some things. A bit. Maybe.’

Lena nodded encouragingly, trying to look as if she had some idea of what Hopeful Paragon was, and desperately hoping that whatever Kara said next would explain what it had to do with the gay thing without her having to ask (“a different perspective” was one thing, but there was no way to explain why she didn’t know something that was clearly so fundamental to what had supposedly happened between them).

‘Go ahead.’

‘Right, okay… So at the time I was kind of in a rut. I know this sounds like a pretty lame excuse for not doing more with my life, but I stuck out like a sore thumb in Midvale, and after that blending in kind of became my life’s purpose. I kept my head down, tried to fit in, and pushed down all the parts of me that were too loud, or strange, or felt things that people would find inconvenient. Being Ms Grant’s assistant was the perfect job for that person, because the whole point of a PA is that if you’re doing it right, people barely notice you’re there at all. I tried to be happy with that, but the most I could hope to achieve in my day was keeping Cat in a good enough mood that she didn’t make anyone cry, and I hardly ever managed even that much. It all felt so small and pointless, but I didn’t know how to be anything else. Then I created the Hopeful Paragon blog, and I suddenly had this space where I could be something different without having to tear my whole life down. I could still be me the rest of the time, but I could also be a hero.’

Kara winced at herself as she said the word, attempting to wave it away with her bound arm as if forestalling a criticism that Lena had not been going to make. Whatever had happened between them, Kara was a hero. Powers or no powers. Part of Lena wanted to voice the thought, but she held her tongue in favour of hearing the rest of the story.

‘That sounds so stupid now when I’m so obviously not a hero, but that’s how it seemed at the time. The blog got kind of big, and it made me feel confident in a way I never was in my normal life. I got to be loud, and angry, and fight for real change without worrying about getting in trouble for professional conflict of interest, or… I don’t know, being hunted down by someone dangerous I’d done an exposé on. It was this wonderful, private outlet that only a handful of people knew about, and when you and I started talking through it it didn’t seem like a big deal not to say anything at first, because I didn’t really know you well as Kara yet anyway. Only then I did and I still kept putting off telling you. At first because it would have sounded so weird, and then because- because somehow you made it feel like just being myself as Kara was a good thing, like it was the better thing. You made me feel like I didn’t need all the bravado and glamour to be worthy, because I just was. I didn’t want you to stop seeing me that way, so I made more and more excuses not to tell you the truth yet. But the more I waited the worse it was that I hadn’t told you, and then…’

Kara hesitated again, eyes flicking nervously up to Lena’s face and then back down to her own knees, as if she hoped they might take over for her if she willed it hard enough. She clearly didn’t want to say whatever came next, but Lena didn’t prompt her. She sat still on the bed, giving Kara space to find the words she needed and breathing through her own experience of reliving their past. It hurt to hear it aloud, even filtered through de-kryptonised memories. It might always hurt a little bit. But what had once been a knife twisting in her heart was now the gentle ache of a healing scar, and for each painful memory that surfaced in her mind, half a dozen good ones rose up to soften it.

There was so much more to Kara Danvers (to them) than the lie that had torn them apart, and Lena was convinced now that Kara truly meant it when she said she would never hurt her like that again. They were growing past their mistakes, and they were stronger than their history. Stronger together.

The quiet stretched out for several long moments more, but eventually Kara took a deep, shaky breath and continued.

‘When Jack came to town I realised how jealous I was of what he meant to you, and I handled it… badly. After I crashed your date like a total weirdo I promised I wouldn’t ever let myself do something like that again, and I guess the online chats became the place where I was allowed to feel that way. Because Kara knew you were straight and into Jack, and then James, but Hopeful Paragon didn’t. Then when you found out it was a woman who had been flirting with you and you didn’t react how I’d hoped it felt like this huge, personal attack, and I got mad and insecure and I said a lot of things I didn’t mean. And Lena, I know how it sounded, but I truly, truly didn’t mean any of it. Almost as soon as the fight was over I realised what I’d done, but it was already too late by then. You didn’t want to talk to Hopeful Paragon anymore.’

A tear trickled down Kara’s grazed cheek but she didn’t stop speaking this time, forcing the words out even as she began to cry in earnest.

‘I lost you from that part of my life, but you were still best friends with Kara, and I couldn’t bear for you to hate her too. So I kept lying to you, about Hopeful Paragon and about my feelings for you, and… God, I can’t even imagine how awful it felt to find all that out the way you did. What I did to you was the biggest mistake of my entire life, and I don’t blame you for cutting me out for it. I am so, so grateful that you forgave me and came back anyway, but I know that the way I felt -the way I feel- must still make it hard to be my best friend. I just don’t want to push that too far. Because of course helping me shower wouldn’t be about... that, but also, it would be way too much to ask of you in the circumstances.’

Fuck.

Shitfuckfuckfuckshittingfucking FUCK.

That’s what Kara thought they had fought over instead of her making kryptonite?

All this time.

All this time, Kara had believed that Lena was homophobic, and had kept being her friend anyway. And Jack, and James… well, that was a lot to take in too. Was Kara rebuilding false emotions to go along with her false memories for what had happened in those cases, or had she really had feelings for Lena for that long?

Was she every bit as oblivious about Kara’s feelings as Kara had been about hers?

Maybe if she had confessed outright that she was in love with Kara when she had first realised it, her friend would have shared her secret in return, and none of this would have happened.

Lena wouldn’t have withdrawn after Lex had spilled the beans.

Lex would never have kidnapped Kara and stolen her memories.

Kara would never have lost her powers and wouldn’t now be lying injured in a hospital bed, with only sheer luck having prevented her from dying after falling off a roof.

Maybe instead they would be dating now. Working together to save the world and then going home at night to share the same bed.

She and Kara might have had it all.

She reached for Kara’s hand, the tremble in her own obvious as she wrapped her fingers around it and stroked her thumb tenderly across the knuckles.

‘I’m so sorry I made you think I didn’t like that part of who you are, but I promise that wasn’t true. Not for Hopeful Paragon, and never, ever for Kara Danvers. Everything that happened in that fight- you have to understand that what I did then wasn’t what I would have done if you and I were having that conversation. To me S- Hopeful Paragon wasn’t my best friend. She was an acquaintance that I liked and respected, but who crossed boundaries that weren’t hers to cross...’

Lena paused, but only for a moment. Her heart was pounding erratically and she couldn’t quite believe any of this was really happening, but after what Kara had just told her anything but the truth would just hurt both of them, now and later.

‘-They were yours, Kara. James, and even Jack… you never had anything to worry about. If I’d thought you were an option, it would always have been you.’

Kara’s expression flickered through a dozen different emotions ranging from shock, anguish, disbelief, incredulity, and finally, as she glanced between Lena’s face and the hand around hers, settled on a fragile, tentative hope.

‘ Really ?’

‘Really.’

She swallowed thickly.

‘So... if I had just told you…’

‘Or if I’d told you, instead of trying to get you to notice me flirting with flowers and low cut shirts and, ah, media companies.’

‘You- oh. Oh. I’m such a dummy.’

Lena surprised herself with a chuckle, because, yeah she kind of was. Apparently they both were.

‘Maybe, but you’re a very cute dummy.’

She watched Kara’s still-wet cheeks going pink again at the compliment, felt her tentatively turn her hand in Lena’s so she could lace their fingers together, and was hit with a wave of such tender fondness that it was almost too much to bear.

‘So… will you come and stay with me? Let me help you until you’re well enough to live alone again?’

‘I- yeah. Yes. I would love that. Thank you Lena.’

‘Always.’

She still couldn’t quite take in the fact that Kara had actually just confessed having feelings for her, and that she had confessed right back. She had always imagined that if they ever got to that moment, their declarations would be made into the diminishing space between their lips as they met for a kiss that could be held back no longer. She had fantasised about it a dozen different ways, from light and sweet to hungry and desperate. She had kissed Kara in every way and every place she could think of in her imagination and was certain that none of them would live up to the reality of even the softest brush against the unbroken skin of her top lip, but as it was, neither of them moved to make it a reality.

Kara let her head settle onto Lena’s shoulder, and Lena moved so that her cheek rested lightly against the familiar softness of Kara’s hair, their hands remaining clasped together in the small space between them on the bed. It wasn’t the right time for anything more than that, not for either of them. Lena’s silent promise not to have this conversation yet might be lying shattered at her feet, but she could at least make sure that things didn’t go any further until she could be sure that Kara knew what she was choosing, and that this wasn’t just an effect of her false memories.

And if this was all they could have, even if it was all they ever had, it was enough for Lena.

Kara was enough.

[streamafterlaughter]

Fundamental Differing

Chapter XXIV: I’m Not Gonna Crack

prev chapter | masterlist | playlist | pinboard

summary: you’re spending your first week in months away from your band, your friends, and eddie.

a/n: wasn’t sure how to end this chapter but i will say i split it into two so maybe the next one will be out sooner than ya think. i can’t promise anything though sorry! thank u beta reader + wife @children-of-the-grave for ideas for this one i love u

Disclaimer: I do not give permission to have my work reposted on other sites. Reblogs are more than welcome, but please inform me if you find my work elsewhere unless otherwise stated. Reblog to support the author!

cw: angst, misunderstandings, silent treatment, i will never let these two catch a break sorry! , descriptions of nightmares

—

October 1986

Your POV

“I don’t get it.” You shake your head, willing yet another image of your boyfriend dying from your brain. “Shouldn’t you be getting these nightmares, too? Don't get me wrong, I’m glad you’re not. They’re fucking awful, but… You were down there, too. You saw it.”

Eddie shrugs. “I do get nightmares. I’ve had plenty of screaming fits that Wayne has had to jostle me from. You probably won’t ever see that, though.”

You wait for him to continue. “I don’t get them when I’m with you. Not that I can remember, anyway. I always wake up well rested. Not to brag, or anything.” He gives you a goofy grin, and you blush at the sight.

“Damn, I must suck, putting you through this. At least you have the decency not to wake me up.” You’re trying to be funny, but Eddie pouts at your words.

“Nah, I’m being selfish, sleeping next to you every night so I don’t wake up screaming. I’d much prefer to wake up to… well, you screaming, I guess. Though, I do wish I could make your nightmares stop.”

Your smile falters at that. “Yeah. Me too. I’m sorry, Eds.”

He shakes his head, tickling your nose with the ends of his hair. “It’s not your fault, sweetheart. Just know I’ve got you, I’m gonna be here when you wake up. I promise.”

—

present day

Eddie’s POV

“Call someone when you land?” Steve pats him on the back, letting the hug linger a little longer than Eddie would usually let him. Eddie nods into his shoulder, only keeping his grip on Steve until he’s sure he won’t choke. Goodbyes are being exchanged by those leaving for LA, and those taking their month off elsewhere. Robin lets her grip on you loosen, only for you to pull her back in with a dramatic outcry. She’ll only be a state or two away, but you haven’t spent more than a few hours apart since the beginning of the summer. Eddie supposes it’s sweet, the way you two lean on each other.

“Hey, you ready?” Gareth nudges him back to the present, where his plane is about to fly him twelve hundred miles away from you, mere hours after you’d both stopped avoiding each other. What kind of cosmic bullshit is that?

“Yeah, one sec.” He drops his bag on a free seat before approaching you, a blubbering Robin still in your embrace. “Mind if I cut in?”

Robin sniffles, parting from you to roll her eyes at the pair of you. “Ugh, I guess.” She winks at Eddie, causing a fresh tear to stream down her cheek. If he didn’t understand her pain, he’d have laughed at that.

“So, I guess this is…” He has no idea what this is.

“See you later?” You offer, and he swears he hears the crack in your voice.

It spurs him on, his next words tumbling out of his mouth without a second thought. “Come with me.”

You blink up at him, eyelashes wet. “What?”

“To Hawkins. Wayne’s place is huge, he’d be so happy to have you.”

“Eddie, you know I can’t do that.” He does, of course he knows. It’s not good for you. He wouldn’t be going back if not for Wayne, if not for having nowhere else to go. “I’ll come visit, okay? I just can’t… stay there. You can also come see me. This isn’t goodbye, silly.” You bring yourself up on your toes, leaving a peck on his cheek. “I’ll see you soon, pretty boy. Call me when you get home.” You land back on your feet, but he follows you, leaning over to capture your lips with his, a kiss that feels more like goodbye than see you later.

“I love you.” He says it against your lips, refusing to detach from you just yet.

“I love you, Eddie. We gotta go, though. You’re gonna miss your flight.”

“Don’t care.” He moves from your lips to your jaw, down to your neck, completely oblivious to his surroundings.

“Eddie,” You’re trying to scold him, but you’re weakened by his mouth on your throat. “Gonna have to fly coach at midnight… Think of all the leg room you’ll lose.”

Eddie finally pulls away from you. “Oh, the horror!” He rolls his eyes, and you giggle, beaming at him before throwing your arms around his waist, hugging him close. “I’ll see you soon, Ed.”

“Promise?”

“I do.” You give him one final squeeze before letting go, and he doesn’t try to pull you back in again. You give him a wave and he blows you a kiss. It’s gonna be a long month.

—

Your POV

Boston

Your parents greet you at Logan Airport with open arms. You run to them like a scene out of a cheesy movie, jumping into your father’s arms as your mother surrounds you both in a bear hug.

“Welcome home, baby!” Your mom holds you at arms length to take you in, and you have to wonder what she sees; does she spot the new lines etched into your face; can she see the tired way you hold yourself in her grasp? While she looks at you, your father grabs your bags from the carousel, ushering you both to the exit before you can make too big of a scene. “We missed you so much, kiddo.” Your dad loads your suitcase into the trunk of your family car, the same one you learned to drive in. You’d offered to buy them a new one, but they had insisted there was no need.

“I missed you guys, too. I’m really glad to be home.”

“We have so much to catch up on.” Your mom pats your knee enthusiastically from the front seat. “I have so many questions!” She’s giddy, and you try your best to keep a smile plastered on your face when you know she’s about to drill you on the events of the last month or so. You watch the city pass you by through the window as your dad throws on his turn signal, merging onto the highway, taking you further away from everything you’d called home these past few weeks.

—

Eddie’s POV

Hawkins

The sun is setting by the time the cab pulls up to Wayne’s house. He has no idea Eddie’s home, and Eddie suddenly regrets not telling him. What if Wayne doesn’t want him here? What if he’s interrupting the old man’s routine? What if he’d gotten a girlfriend while Eddie was away?

He grabs his bag from the trunk before paying the driver, adding a hefty tip to thank him for driving so far out of the city, and takes one final deep breath before knocking on the hefty front door. At first there’s no answer, not even the gruff “hang on” that he’s expecting to hear mumbled from his uncle. He’s about to knock again when the door swings open, revealing his disheveled old man, wrapped in a bathrobe, eyes heavy with sleep. Maybe he should have given him a heads up.

“Hey, Wayne.” It comes out as a sigh, exhausted as his uncle looks.

“No shit. ‘M I dreamin’ or something? C’mere, boy!” Wayne yanks his nephew over the threshold, pulling him into an almost suffocating hug. “They finally kick you out of the band?” He jokes, suddenly perky for someone that looks like he’d just woken up.

“Very funny. Nah, I figured I needed to come watch over my old man before he croaks from isolation.” Eddie drops his bag on the kitchen counter as he slides off his shoes, making himself comfortable in the house he still can’t believe exists.

“Good one. But seriously, and don’t take this the wrong way, why are you here?”

“What, can’t a guy spend his month off from tour with the man that raised him?”

Wayne chuckles, pulling out one of the dining room chairs to sit across from Eddie. “‘Course you can. Jus’ curious why you’d do such a thing, and not say a peep about it!”

“Honest, I didn’t even commit to coming until I got on the plane, didn’t wanna make any empty promises. If I’m interrupting something though, I can go—“

“Oh shut up, kid. Of course you’re not interruptin’. How else are you gonna catch me up on all the Hollywood gossip?” The sarcasm is palpable in his uncle's voice, but Eddie indulges anyway. “Ah, right, the Hollywood gossip you care so much about.”

“I care when it’s about my kid and his, whatcha call ‘em, sweetheart?”

Eddie tenses immediately, posture straightening as Wayne doubles over the table with laughter. “Oh relax Ed, I’m only yankin’ your chain!”

“Are you though?”

Wayne purses his lips. “I guess there’s some truth to it. How are you holdin’ up?”

Eddie wants to tell him everything. Wayne’s the only person his whole life he’s never felt the need to lie to, or to even sugarcoat the bad things. Wayne was there when he was framed for murder, he was there when you and Eddie had broken up. The only reason Wayne doesn’t know it all is because of Eddie.

“I’m doin’ alright, pops. Truthfully.”

“Yeah? And how’s…” He trails off, and Eddie rolls his eyes.

“Y/n is good. We’re good.”

“For Christsake Ed, give me something to work with here.”

“We decided to start again. Strings attached and all that shit.”

Wayne perks slightly at the confession. “No shit. How in the world did you get ‘em to go for that?”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Ye of little faith. Turns out they’ve loved me this whole time. Hard to believe, I know.”

It’s Wayne’s turn to roll his eyes. “Sometimes I wonder how I could’ve raised such an oblivious kid, y’know.”

“How rude!”

He chuckles, standing from his seat at the dining table. “Look, as much as I wanna hear about it, and trust me I do, I gotta get to bed. Your room’s the way you left it, but if you plan on staying I’ll need help with groceries tomorrow.”

“Aye aye, captain.”

“And Ed,” Wayne pauses in the door frame, hand on the light switch. “I’m really happy to hear about you and Y/n. Do what you can not to fuck it up this time.” He switches the light, leaving Eddie in the dim of the dining room.

__

Your POV

“So…” Your dad starts, ending the dreadfully awkward silence over dinner. You twirl spaghetti around your fork sloppily, trying to appear focused on your technique. “How’s Eddie?”

Your mother, sipping her wine, chokes back a laugh, but recovers quickly. You feel eighteen again, shy and anxious about your parents’ curiosity of your love life.

“What about him?” You mumble, not daring to look up from your plate.

“How is he? A-and you? How are you doing, being with him? Wait, not with him—“

“Honey?”

“Yes, dear?”

“Shut up, my love.”

“Yes, dear.”

You blink at your parents, rosy cheeked and gleeful, giddy with each other’s presence. They make it look so easy, and you almost hate them for it. “It’s fine, I guess. Why do you care?”

Your words seem to wipe the smile off your father’s face. “Because you don’t call! All we know about what’s going on, it’s from stupid tabloids and bullshit television. We worry, Y/n.”

“Before you argue, we know you’re an adult, but you’ve gone through so much, so quickly. It would be hard for anyone. We wanted to be there for you, and you iced us out. We still don’t know what happened to you when—“

“Don’t.” You say it through your teeth, willing the tears not to fall. Before either of your parents can say more, you shove yourself from the table, abandoning your now cold pasta and garlic bread. As if you’re still in high school, you stomp up to the guest room, slamming the door behind you.

—

It’s not home. It’s a brownstone on a nice street filled with showroom furniture, smelling of overpriced candles you give your mom for christmas every year. You’d never lived here, and now your idea to come back seems stupid. Your dad’s right, you didn’t even call.

The phone rings then, freeing you from your increasingly frustrating thoughts.

“L/n Residence, Y/n speaking.” You answer, flopping down on the guest bed like it’s yours; like you’d never left, like it’s normal for you to answer the phone here.

“Hey, you.” His voice washes over you, soothing you instantly. You’re eighteen. Nothing bad has happened. It’s the furthest thing from painful.

“Hey, Eds.” You practically sigh, like you’d been holding your breath for days. “How was your flight?”

—

Eddie’s POV

“Eh, nothing special. Neck hurts like a mother.” He rubs the back of his neck as he speaks, attempting to massage out the kinks. What he wouldn’t do to have your hands in place of his right now. “You get home okay?”

“Yeah, guess you could say that.” He notices the hesitant tone, the way it dips when you speak.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Hm.” He barely hears you sigh into the receiver. “Don't wanna be a downer.”

“Nothin’ wrong with being a downer every once in a while. What’s wrong?” Eddie rolls onto his back, spread across his king bed, relishing in all the space, imagining you filling it.

“Just. Doesn’t really feel like home anymore.” He gets it. Hawkins feels less like home now than the tour bus, he has nothing to hold onto. There is nothing here for him he couldn’t find somewhere else. It’s not like you’re still here.

“I guess I know what you mean.”

—

It’s 2am when he hears you snore into the receiver. As much as he’d like to stay on the line to listen to your breathing, he can’t rack up Wayne’s phone bill like that, even if he can afford to pay for it. Eddie drops the phone back into its place, and switches off the bedside lamp.

—

He finds himself in the cafeteria, back at the Hellfire table, but it’s empty. The room around him bustles, voices blending together to create a harsh ringing in his ears. The flourescent lights flicker every few seconds, causing his eye to twitch.

“Eddie…” It’s barely audible, but he can almost feel the breath on the back of his neck. The voice is warm, familiar, sweet as honey. When he whips around, no one’s there, and the cafe goes silent, like a television on mute.

“Eddie…” It’s louder this time, coming from no direction in particular, without background noise to drown it out.

The cafeteria is deserted now, and dark. “Eddie…” Like it’s being spoken over the PA system, summoning him to get chewed out by the principal. Something tells him to find it. He gets up, searching desperately for the source.

“Eddie…” Louder now, he can tell he’s making progress. He can feel it in his gut, he knows where to look. Eddie bursts into what he knows should be Principal Coleman’s office, but instead ends up back in his trailer. Well, not actually his trailer, but the sick imitation of it he’d only seen one other time.

“Eddie…” It’s pitch black, but the voice is right in front of him. “Come here, pretty boy.”

No. He’s frozen, unable to keep moving. It’s not them, he reassures himself. This isn’t real.

“It’s very real, Eddie.” Your voice rings through his thoughts, shattering the barrier he’d begun to build. “It’s me.”

Eddie takes one more step forward, to where a figure sits on the shredded couch, face shrouded in darkness.

“Prove it.” His voice cracks when he speaks, revealing weakness without being pressed.

Instead of responding, the figure claiming your identity stands, revealing its face to him finally. It isn’t you. The furthest thing, really. Where your eyes should sit are black, empty holes. Your skin seems to sag off your skeleton, without muscle or fat to hold it in place. Before Eddie can react, you unhinge your jaw, setting free a swarm of winged creatures that fly right at him, shrieking something awful. He swats at them, thrashing his arms as he tries to run away, willing the image of your decaying, animated corpse from his memory as he screams your name, like you’ll somehow come back to life.

“Eddie? Eddie!”

—

Eddie wakes up screaming, with Wayne’s hands on either one of his shoulders, shaking him back to life. “Eddie?! Wake up, boy, it’s not real!”

“Wayne?”

“Christ, son, what the devil was that?!”

Eddie rubs a hand down his tired face. “Bad dream.”

“Yeah, no shit. But what in the world could’ve happened to warrant that reaction?”

Eddie shakes his head. “I’ll tell you in the morning.”

“It is morning, Ed.”

“What?”

“It’s five am.”

He groans. “You goin’ to work?”

Wayne scoffs. “Can’t get rid of me that easy. Now talk, boy.”

Eddie surrenders, and recites everything he can remember about the terror to his uncle. He wants to throw up at the memory, the way you’d looked, the way you’d spoken to him.

“This a normal thing for you?” Wayne quirks an eyebrow. Eddie shakes his head. He hadn’t had a nightmare that bad since before going on tour.

“So, it’s bein’ home then.” Its not a question, but Eddie shakes his head in disagreement.

“This isn’t home anymore, Wayne. It’s because I’m away from home. From them.”

Wayne screws his face up in thought. “Call ‘em. Wait til the sun’s up. Chances are they feel pretty similar.”

He hates how much he wants his uncle to be right.

—

Your POV

“…and that was Nirvana’s Lithium, thank you for the request Amy, good choice…” The radio wakes you from a dreamless sleep far too early, the sun streaming through the curtain you’d forgotten to close. You groan, throwing the pillow back over your head as the phone rings.

Suddenly, you’re no longer groggy as you pick up the call, cutting the ringing off with a too eager “Hello?!”

“Good morning, sweetheart. How’d you sleep?”

Truth was, you’d slept horribly, tossing and turning without him there to ground you, but you can’t tell him that. You can’t worry him. “Eh, I slept alright, what about you?”

You hear him release a breath into the receiver. “Not great, honestly.” You regret your white lie. “Being here is hard.”

You nod before forgetting he can’t see you. “How’s Wayne?” Maybe you should’ve gone to Hawkins. Boston is starting to feel lonelier by the second.

”He’s good, same old except for the big house.” You can hear Eddie’s smile in his voice, provoking your own to spread across your cheeks. “Hey, so, I was thinking,” Eddie interrupts himself, “I could fly out there soon, maybe next week? You could show me around your old stomping grounds?”

You avoid his question with your own. “You’ve never been to Boston?”

”’Course I’ve been to Boston, but I haven’t seen it with you, y’know? I wanna learn the history from the source.”

”Such a scholar, all of a sudden?” You giggle, twirling the cord of your phone between your fingers. “It’s not much, but I’d be happy to have you.”

“Great! I’ll book the flight tonight. It’ll give me something to look forward to.”

”Can’t wait!” There’s a knock on not-your-bedroom door. “Hey, Ed, I gotta go. Call you tonight?”

“Sounds like a plan, sweetheart. Talk soon.”

There’s a long pause during which you almost say “I love you” three separate times, but you don’t. The line clicks, and he’s gone.

“Y/n, sweetie! Breakfast!”

—

After you’ve stuffed your face full of your father’s chocolate chip pancakes and extra greasy bacon, you take it upon yourself to explore the city. You haven’t been here in awhile, unless you count the few hours before a show at the Paradise or Avalon opening for bands you can’t remember the names of, and you’re morbidly curious about the current state of your hometown.

The T takes you from your suburban neighborhood into the city as you gaze out the window, daydreaming. You get off at Boylston, planning to hit up your old haunts; the record stores, the coffeehouse, maybe Newbury Street now that you can afford it. Before any of that, though, you need a cigarette.

When you find the corner store, sign decayed with age, the front of the National Enquirer catches your attention. Munson’s New Boo! Source close to the rockstar confirms new fling with Bikini Kill’s Kathleen Hanna. Your blood freezes, fingers careful as they pinch the corner of the magazine. It’s not real. Nothing in here is real. You repeat the words to yourself as you peel apart the pages, searching for the story.

When you find it, the pages are overrun with pictures of Eddie. In some of them, you’re with him; before the Metallica show, at the restaurant where that guy almost kidnapped you, even one of you and him in Hawkins the night you played there, but your face is obscured by hats or hoods. In others, though, different girls are draped around him in clubs. He’s leaning into one’s shoulder, one that may or may not actually be Kathleen Hanna. One of your biggest idols. Your face heats with embarrassment as you read the sad excuse for an article.

“They’re always together,” Our anonymous source says, “Either fighting or kissing, but always attached at the hip.” From what photos we’ve seen, we can’t disagree. Munson is obsessed with Hanna, and we’re obsessed with them.

You keep reading, each sentence making you feel dirty, exposed in a way you never knew you could be. Your heart is racing as you slam your ID onto the table, demanding a pack of camels to go with your shitty magazine. The cashier, an older man with charcoal hair and bushy mustache looks from the paper to you, squinting at the small photo in the corner that looks a lot like your own side profile. He doesn’t say anything though, much to your relief. You snatch the plastic bag from him as he bids you goodbye, thick eyebrows scrunched together.

—

Eddie’s POV

“Son, what the hell is this?” Wayne has returned from the grocery store with his hands full of bags, and what looks to be a newspaper in his grip.

“What’s what?” Eddie relieves his uncle of the load, unpacking the bags as the older man slaps the paper onto the kitchen table. Eddie’s eyes slide over the headline, his smile wiped completely from his face.

“Kathleen Hanna? I met her, like, once!” Eddie sputters, ripping open the magazine. “Oh my god, what the fuck?!” He scans the article, glancing at pictures of what he knows are you with him. Except one. One from months ago, before he’d even known he’d be spending his summer with you.

—

February 1992

New York City

Limelight is dark, the dance floor grimy with remnants of beverages long lost to the art of gyrating. He’s in a corner booth, reserved for him and some friends to occupy, a gift from his club promoter friend, Barry. Bernie. Something. Eddie’s too fucked up to remember, but it doesn’t matter. Surrounding him are his band, as well as some he’d only ever heard of before tonight. Across the table is Kathleen Hanna of Bikini Kill, stunning as ever in a sheer black dress, nothing underneath. She made Eddie squirm in his seat as she uncrossed her legs, staring him down. Perched next to her is bandmate Tobi, and one table over sit Courtney and Kurt, talking amongst themselves.

It takes forever, but Eddie finally manages to approach Kathleen, only to trip and spill his beer all over himself. Somehow, though, it charms her, and she requests him to join her and her bandmates for a dance.

—

Present Day

“That must’ve been when they took the picture. I don’t know, it was so goddamn dark in there!” Eddie’s pacing his uncle’s living room while Wayne sips his coffee. “You think they saw this?”

“Who?” Wayne asks cluelessly.

“Y/n, Wayne! The one person I can’t lose the trust of right now!”

“Oh. Yeah, there’s no way they don’t know. That thing is everywhere, boy.”

“Shit. Shit!”

“Hey, calm down! It’s a misunderstanding, just call and explain it to ‘em! I’m sure they’ll understand.”

Eddie huffs. Right. Of course you’ll understand.

He punches each button of your phone number and it rings. And rings. And rings.

“You’ve reached the L/n residence, we’re unable to-“

“FUCK!” He dials again, faster.

And it rings. And rings.

—

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[shesalwaysthere]

Waiting Room

Joel x F!Reader

Chapter One: My Poor Parents’ Teenage Daughter

pairing: dbf!joel x f!reader

genre: no outbreak, explicit, fluff, angst, eventual smut

word count: 3.7k

summary: You come home from your term at UT for the summer to visit your parents. It’s your last summer close to home before you go up north and leave your family behind- but what happens when a teenage wet dream turns into something that could challenge your future?

warnings: 18+ EXPLICIT MINORS DNI, age gap, mentions of attraction when reader is younger (Joel is NOT attracted to reader when they are younger than 18), swearing, drunkenness, tommy being an asshole, no use of y/n

a/n: hey guys!! this is my first fic on here so if u have any tips please let me know! this was such a joy to write and i absolutely cannot wait to continue this story!! pls lmk what u think! <3

“be easy.

take your time.

you are coming

home

to yourself.”

— the becoming

Every day until you come home each June seems longer and longer until the departure day arrives. You love your school, UT has brought you so many new experiences and you truly feel like you’re ready for this new chapter in your life. But the long stretches of day that seem to go on forever don’t treat you kindly like home did.

Your journey home is, thankfully, a short one.

When you were younger, you dreaded going to college so close to home, your mind always so full of wanderlust, fantasizing about what the big, blue world would bring you. Austin was big, to be sure, but not big enough for you. You needed to soak up the Earth and everything it had to offer.

At twenty-two, you’re glad fifteen-year-old you didn’t make the decisions anymore. Within the first week of your freshman year, you missed your bed. You missed your mom blasting her songs through the house, and seeing your dad floating in the pool on the sweltering Texas days. Your family was crazy, loud, and crass, but the quiet of university gave you hives.

This summer was going to be the last before you traveled further north to Dallas to pursue the last leg of your degree. You were offered free room and board to finish your master's degree at a smaller school, and you were even granted an internship at which your mother screeched in excitement. You were thrilled to start your future, certainly, but this trip was expected to be a little… melancholy.

Your dad tried to convince you to let him drive you, but you insisted a two-way trip was a waste of gas, and you’d see him at home anyways. Home, you thought. Not for much longer, but home. Your old, rickety car sputtered on the half-hour drive, and you patted the poor steed’s dashboard reassuringly, almost as if it could be calmed by your hand. You did push the car’s limits by driving a bit too fast on the main roads, but you were just so, so eager to be home.

Once you finally reached the driveway, your parents were already rushing out the door, attacking you with an embrace, and you giggled happily, letting their warmth take over you. When they finally released you, you took notice of the massive – and very poorly painted – banner above the door, welcoming you home, with your name in big, messy letters drawn for the whole neighborhood to see. As you approached the door, you heard telltale sounds of… oh, God.

A party.

Before you could even protest, or remind your parents of the fact that you were a mess in nothing but a t-shirt and shorts, your hair was all messy, and your face made you look like the underside of a dumpster, they promptly shoved you inside as a cheer erupted from the crowd. Waves of family members shoved through to try and greet you first – aunts and uncles, cousins you’d missed, your sweet little nephew who’d been born four months before. There were even a few family friends you hadn’t seen in years, friends who must have traveled much too far just to see you. Your anxieties about your appearance faded as the energy in the room shifted. How silly you were to be so nervous. You felt surrounded by so much love, and honestly, it was just what you needed.

You almost don’t notice one of your childhood friends, Hannah, standing off to the side, as if she was patiently waiting for you to find her. You had wondered why she hadn’t been answering your texts for the past couple of weeks, then remembered fondly how she can’t keep a secret. You both share a look that nearly brings you to tears, overwhelmed by just the sight of her. You both look so… grown up.

You rush to her with arms outstretched, wrapping her in a tight embrace and laughing, overcome with joy. She pulls away to scan your face, nodding approvingly. “Damn, college did some good to you,” she laughs, holding your face for a moment, “maybe I should have followed you to UT, huh? Could’ve got this glow you have.”

Hannah is three years older than you. She was always so smart in school, and while it made you feel a little inferior, it also filled you with so much pride. She even tested into a program that earned her an associate’s degree when she graduated high school. She finished up her BA at community college even though she was offered several scholarships at many different colleges, all amounting to a number you could never dream of having. No full rides, though, and that was a dealbreaker for her parents. She’s down at the library, now, which you can only hope is something she loves.

You talk for a while, letting other folks come up to greet you and show praise for a few moments before you get too embarrassed and shoo them away. At one point, someone approaches from behind, covering your eyes. You feel them lean in all too close, their breath on your neck.

“Guess who,” they whisper, and you shiver.

If you didn’t know by the hands alone, the voice gives it all away. You pull away and smile wide, wrapping your arms around your dad’s closest friend for as long as you can remember, Joel Miller. Being the man he is, he lifts you up and spins you around, chuckling as you scream. He sets you back down and affectionately puts a hand on your shoulder. “Heya, kid. I’m real proud of you. I know how much this means to you. We’ll miss you down here.” You smile, your cheeks turning a light pink color as he walks away.

Your feelings for Joel are… complicated. He’s been around as far back as your memory goes, always there for your family when you needed him. Hell, he’d even come over when your dog ran out the door and you had to comb through the whole neighborhood to find her. You’d hop in the bed of his truck and shout her name until she came bounding towards you. He was there for birthdays, holidays, funerals…

He also made an occasional appearance in your teenage wet dreams.

It really isn’t your fault. He was consistently fit, handsome, caring, funny… he was the whole damn package and you couldn’t really ignore that as a teenage girl dreaming about prince charming. Joel wasn’t perfect, you knew that, but you loved that even more.

As you and Hannah watch him leave, she pokes you with her clawed finger, making you yelp and playfully slap her, pouting. She shakes her head at you. “What?” You cry, rubbing your arm where she poked you.

“You’re unbelievable,” she says, looking back at Joel. “He’s basically your uncle.”

“Ew, Hannah! Don’t say that, god, that’s so gross,” you say, shaking your head and covering your face. “Don’t make me feel worse! I can’t help this.”

Hannah, of course, knew all about your little crush on Joel and relentlessly teased you throughout the years for it. The teasing was well deserved, as it was silly to feel that way towards someone around 20 years your senior, but sometimes it got to you. It wasn’t like you were going to pursue him, he was just… one delicious fantasy that was stuck in your head.

“So, how’s Kevin?” you ask, trying to change the subject. It doesn’t go unnoticed by Hannah, but you know boy talk is her weakness, and you breathe a deep sigh of relief when she begins her ramble. The gossip doesn’t last too much longer, though, as your dad approaches you with a big smile, and you could tell by the look in his eyes he had some sort of surprise for you.

“Hey, nugget,” he smiles, making you roll your eyes at the nickname. “Come over here, I wanna talk to you about something.” You nod, giving Hannah’s hand a squeeze and smiling before walking away with your dad, intuiting that whatever he wants to talk about will take quite a while. You love him, but he’s something of a talker. He guides you through the sea of people in your living room to the back door, where more people have slowly gathered as the grill begins to work its magic and the crowd gets hungrier. Manning the grill was, of course, Joel.

Your dad leads you over to where he stands, Joel’s eyes not leaving the grill. ‘So serious about his hamburgers’, you think, smiling to yourself. Your dad claps him on the back and Joel jumps slightly, smiling at how surprised he was. He shoves your dad’s shoulder and your dad shakes his head. “This old fucker… well, he’s in desperate need of your help. See, the legal side of his contracting business is frankly a mess, and he won’t hire anyone thinkin’ it’s one big waste o’ money, or whatever.”

The two of them share a laugh, and despite how adorable your two favorite old men are, you find yourself growing increasingly impatient at their lack of to-the-pointness. You nod your head, crossing your legs in agitation. Your dad sighs and points to you knowingly.

“You’re good with that law aspect though, aren’t you? Making sure the… y’know, labor’s fair and the whole thing’s all up to code,” your dad says, scratching his nose. You know he has absolutely no clue what the hell he’s talking about, but he’s trying, and it gives you some semblance of warm joy at the thought. “I thought maybe… you could work for Joel this summer. Few months of real-world experience under your belt, get some decent pay… plus, the old man won’t be too hard on you, will ya, Joel?”

You bring your eyes back over to Joel, who’s clearly been a bit more affected by the alcohol than your dear old dad. His cheeks are red, his brow a bit sweaty (though that could be from the grill) and his lips pursed. You stop to wonder if someone so clearly messed up should be manning a grill, but the thought is stopped in its tracks as you notice something.

Joel is looking at you. I mean, really looking. Not in your eyes, no, at your face. Scanning you, drinking you in, like he’s looking at you for the first time. You feel your face get hot as his eyes go lower before slowly rolling their way back up, and he locks eyes with you, making you smile. He smiles back, which surprises you. It’s a smile that speaks to you. It tells you to be quiet, shushing you, keeping it a secret. You bite your lip, stifling a giggle as you look back at your dad.

You shrug. “I guess. As long as Joel knows the basics of everything, or has kept a file. You did have a lawyer when you started Miller Contracting, right?” you ask, narrowing your eyes at Joel playfully. He laughs too loud, taking another sip of his beer and nodding. “Yeah, yeah, I’m sure he kept the files somewhere around, I’ll get ‘em for you. As long as you’re comfortable workin’ with me.”

Your dad shoves him a bit. “Oh, c’mon, Miller, she’s fine. She’s known you most of ‘er life, long as you just treat her right and don’t saddle her with work like you do Tommy, she’ll be alright. And make sure Tommy keeps his hands to himself!” He half-shouts, busting out into more laughter as you turn red again.

You snap your eyes over to Joel who quickly averts his gaze to the floor, and you bite your lip in frustration.

“Yeah, I’m sure we’ll get along just fine,” you say. “And don’t worry, Dad. We’re both good with our hands in different ways.”

You couldn’t be certain, but you thought you saw Joel choke on his drink.

You decided to go formal. First day, new job, might as well look nice, right? Your little… outfit was a little form-fitting, but you’d go for it anyways. You gathered what you figured would be first-day essentials and rushed out the door before your parents woke up. You knew your parents would either make you late by celebrating it as if it was some massive deal, or they’d force you to stay until they were ready to take you themselves, and you couldn’t bear the embarrassment of either.

As you start your car, your phone dings with a little notification. You check, pleasantly surprised, as it’s a text from Joel.

ミ★

(9:08 am) Joel: Hey kid, here’s the address for the office.

(9:08 am) You: look at you, joel, all tech-savvy!

(9:10 am) Joel: Gotta remind me I’m old huh?

(9:11 am) You: now do an emoji for me

(9:11 am) Joel: I am not doing tricks for your pleasure.

(9:12 am) You: i’ll bring you a coffee.

(9:12 am) Joel: 🎪🤹���

☆彡

You smile, shaking your head at your goofy, old boss. You punch in the directions to your GPS app and begin the 15-minute (turned to a 25-minute to stop for coffee) trip to your new job. And with around 20 minutes to spare, you pat yourself on the back. Joel is already waiting for you when you walk in, giving you a look you cannot place, especially being distracted by carrying coffee with you. You shove your folders into Joel’s chest momentarily to regain your balance.

“Hey, sorry, hold this for a sec,” you say, pulling out Joel’s coffee and setting it on the desk behind him and sighing, grabbing your papers back. “Thanks. Um… you okay?” Your question is prompted by you taking notice of the look on his face – a sort of slack-jawed, wide-eyed look, like you’d walked in wearing nothing. You feel something tighten inside of you, cursing yourself for feeling so weak at a man looking at you like some kind of meal. You clear your throat, trying to push out a little awkward laugh. “What, you never seen me in nice clothes before?”

Joel clears his throat, smiling a little at himself. “Not since your prom dress,” he says, clearly poking fun at you, since you decided at seventeen that the best thing to wear to prom would be a bright pink dress that looked WAY better in the store than it did the day of, and you had to go in one of your mom’s old dresses. You grimace at the reminder, shoving Joel playfully for bringing it up. “Thanks for reopening that wound, asshole. To think that wasn’t even the worst part of prom,” you say, shaking your head at the memory. He gives you a confused look, making you shrug.

“You know, because I went with Harrison.” you say, gesturing for Joel to catch on. “He… was an asshole? He left me alone all night and made out with my friend when we got to Hannah’s house. Did Dad not tell you?”

Joel nods as if he understands, but he just looks more confused. “Really? Ken’s kid acted that way? Shit, that fuckin’ bonehead’s married now. Can’t imagine what that woman’s goin’ through now. If I’d known, woulda kicked the shit out of him.” He smirks, taking a sip of his coffee.

You laugh, covering your mouth like someone’s going to hear you. “Yeah, I bet you would have. All you would’ve had to do is look at him and he’d run, the pussy. Speaking of, I bet his wife’s real frustrated that he can’t make a woman come.” Joel chokes on his coffee a bit.

As if on cue, Tommy walks in, a customary Joel resting frown on his face that quickly turns to a smile when he sees you. His walk picks up into a jog as he approaches you, wrapping you up into a hug that is purely Tommy. He smells like he just got out of the shower, which is comforting in the most unidentifiable way. He leans away to get a look at you, smiling wide. “Joel told me you’d be here! Couldn’t shut the fuck up about it, in fact,” he says, giving Joel a teasing look, to which Joel responds with a frown.

Tommy looks back at you and puts his hand on your shoulder. “I’m gonna show you where you’re workin’. This old fart won’t remember where everything is, so I’m in charge of the tour. He’ll come along, though, don’t you worry.” You smile and nod, even though you’re a little confused about why you’d be worried about Joel not being there. Did Tommy know something? Did Hannah already tell the whole damn town? Before you can catastrophize anymore, Tommy walks ahead of both of you, leading you toward your station.

The consultation office is new to the company, but the building is definitely not. The only thing that doesn’t seem to be over a decade old is the floor- seemingly new tile, which Tommy comments about. Something along the lines of “out of our own damn pockets” and how it was “worth gettin’ rid of the suspicious carpet stains”. You say something about how Tommy better not bring any girls around and make more stains, which makes Joel laugh. You’re shown Joel’s consult area, Tommy’s area (which he doesn’t really explain, but based on the fact that it looks like a man cave, you assume going in there is a bad idea), a tiny coffee machine that looks like it’s older than the building itself, and finally, your office.

It’s bigger than Tommy’s. Hell, it’s bigger than Joel’s. Obviously, it’s still not huge, but there’s enough space for your desk, a little lounge, and a bookshelf. There are boxes of files on your desk, seemingly all set out for you to go through and organize. However, another box catches your attention. It has a picture frame, a little pencil cup, and a few other things one might have in their office inside of it- but it isn’t yours. You inspect it closer, seeing the picture is of Joel and Sarah. You turn to look at Joel, confused, as he leans against the doorframe.

“You gave up your office for me?”

He just shrugs. “Wasn’t usin’ it.”

You reel. It’s stupid and cheesy, but you do. You rack your brain for any indication before that he was doing this for you, but you can’t remember anything he might have done to reveal this. He wanted to surprise you.

Tommy looks back and forth between you and Joel, smiling knowingly. “He really wasn’t. This geezer spends most of his time out workin’ instead of in here, even though we got a whole group of guys doin’ the work for us.”

“Well, we didn’t start this shit to have other guys do it,” Joel combats, standing up straight. “You’re just a lazy ass now that we got more people. It’s still Miller Contracting, not… Miller and The Other Guys Contracting.”

You stifle a laugh. So does Tommy. Joel purses his lips frustratedly, which only breaks the damn. You laugh so hard you cry, the silliness of the joke rushing at you. Tommy laughs with you, sharing a look with you. It was so fucking stupid and you both knew it.

Joel finally laughs, too. Laughs so hard he has to grab his stomach, delighted at the idiotic joke he made.

You and Tommy silently agree not to mention it. You’re afraid he’ll stop.

Once your giggles finally settle, Tommy crosses his arms and says something about having to get back to someone who called earlier and he steps out of the office. And then there were two.

Joel watches you. He doesn’t say anything when Tommy leaves, just stands exactly where he’s been the whole time, stalking you, waiting for you to move. You don’t look at him. It unnerves you, making you conscious of your movement, but you want him to keep looking. You can’t explain what he’s doing, and you can’t even begin to explain what you’re doing either.

You walk around the room some more, admiring the view from the window, touching the shelves, et cetera. His eyes stay on you. You turn and face him, considering asking him what the hell he’s looking at, but his gaze stops you in your tracks. Goddamn him. You force a smile and bring your hands up to your arms, rubbing them lightly. “Little cold in here, huh?” you chuckle.

Joel just shrugs. “Better’n outside.”

You nod. The air is tense. And awkward.

He leans away from the doorframe and for a moment you think he’ll walk towards you, but he doesn’t. “Well, I’ll let you get settled. Let me or Tommy know if you need anything.”

And he’s gone.

You use the rest of the day to organize the files all piled and half-organized on your desk, not even having time to read them with the unidentifiable order, or lack thereof, of it all. You assume the guys leave halfway through the day when silence falls over the office. It isn’t unsettling in the slightest, but comforting in the way it reminds you of the quiet of your dorm. You hadn’t missed it yet, but you found yourself starting to. Maybe this would be a nice substitute.

When you find yourself hungry for lunch, you decide stretching your legs is a good idea and just go to get some. When you come back, Tommy’s truck is there, and both of their office doors are closed, so you know they’re back. When you walk back into your office, there’s something there you hadn’t left.

It’s a jacket. Pretty fuckin big, too- not chunky big, just stretched out like whoever was wearing it had been wearing it for a long time. There’s a little pink Post-it note attached to it, seemingly from the office.

Don’t go touching the thermostat. -J

Fucking Christ. You groan but put it on, silently grateful for the act of kindness. Still, a thought nudged at the back of your mind.

Is the whole summer going to be like this?

[awrkive]

[TEASER] LOVE LESSONS, pt. 3 (M) — JJK.

you have a hard time trying to wrap your head around what's been happening for the last two months -- but you could only really come up with one conclusion.

PAIRING jungkook x (female) reader

GENRE smut, FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF. angst if u squint hard enough

WORD COUNT 1.1k for this teaser. the overall word count for the chapter is 11.1k

WARNINGS/MISC virgin!reader, kinda spoiled brat!!reader lol, childhood friend-ish!jk, college!au. implied sex. explicit sexual content: oral sex. jk finally eats her cookie :] a huge spider. Realizations. sad oc in the last part. sorry.

NOTES this was supposed to be longer but i thought it was perfect to cut it until the last part. so instead of calling it part3A, i decided to call the next one as the fourth chapter altogether because it fits better! and i truly believe that it would be too much if i didnt cut it HAHA. sooo much is gonna be happening. anyway. starting here, the #REAL arch of this couple will begin ;) stay tuned and enjoy reading !! :)

[ READ PART 1 ] [ PART 2 ]

FULL VERSION IS OUT NOW

"Oh my god, Jungkook, there!" You pointed to the door to your bathroom and Jungkook automatically looked there. "It's going inside my bathroom!"

Where I bath! Where I keep my body clean and… Jesus Christ… you were going to cry if that got inside your bathroom. You tolerated a lot of insects but weren't spiders too much? No?

"What the fuck?" Jungkook sounded incredulous when he said it, so you looked at him with worry. "How the hell did that thing get inside here?"

"I know!" You said, huffing. He was very nonchalant about the spider in your room just a few minutes ago but now he looked defensive. You caught the sight of him gripping the box he asked of you earlier, tighter. You knew he was gonna be intimidated by the spider too. "I told you it's freakishly big."

"Well, fuck me."

Your eyes instantly widened. "Jungkook, you can't give up."

"I'm not," He rolled his eyes. "Okay, you go out for a while just in case I fail at scaring it away and then it goes after you."

You stared at him blankly. "Don't say that."

Jungkook's serious face from a while ago broke to that of a shit-eating grin, and then he chuckled. "I'm kidding, silly. I'll take it out, just get out for a while."

You followed his instructions and opened the bedroom door to wait in the living area.

While you sat on the couch, you occasionally looked over your bedroom, fretting what was to come. You trusted Jungkook to get the spider out but it was taking too long. In the middle of it, you had the urge to knock and offer help but changed your mind. Getting bored eventually, you went to your fridge and took out the leftover pizza from today's afternoon meal. You ate the first slice, completely bored this time. On the second slice, you finally went over to your bedroom and stuck your ear to the door to supposedly eavesdrop, but then it opened suddenly as soon as you leaned down to do that.

Jungkook caught you by the waist just as quickly. He looked down at you.

"It's gone."

It was like his words caused a fireworks show and your eyes widened in enthusiasm.

"Really?" You shrieked. Breaking out of his hold, you wrapped your arms around his neck and jumped on him out of excitement. Jungkook was quick to hold you back again, chuckling at your zeal. He nodded nonetheless, but laughed even more when you kissed his cheek so fast that it almost felt like a smack, however a sweet one. "I have pizza." You said, remembering the food in your hand, trusting his grip on your thighs and removing one arm off his neck to hold up your last bite to his face.

"Thanks." Jungkook said, opening his mouth to receive the pizza you offered, even though it was so little.

Okay, you'd order a box later. He deserved it after getting that huge spider out of your place.

"No, thank you." You reiterated and planted a kiss on his mouth this time. He reciprocated automatically.

Still holding you against his body, Jungkook led you to your bed and laid you down on it. When he hovered over you, you stopped at the serious look he's got on his face.

"I really want to eat you out."

"Huh?"

"I want to eat you out, if you let me. You're so curious about it, anyway…" he trailed off.

You still couldn't process his words completely. Did he mean what you were thinking? But didn’t he just take out a spider?

“Uhm, where’s the spider?” You asked, just making sure it was gone before you got into anything frisky tonight.

“I took the box out and released it. It’s okay. It’s going to move somewhere else.” Jungkook convinced you.

You squinted your eyes at him. “You’re really, one hundred percent sure it’s gone?”

“Well, I wouldn’t be offering to eat you out if it wasn’t, so…”

At the mention of his offer again, you went quiet. You were indeed curious and you’ve been wanting to. Gnawing at your bottom lip, you looked at Jungkook, meekly saying, “I want that, too, but uh, right now?" You confirmed, because as much as you wanted to say yes right away, you didn't exactly… made preparations for the event.

Jungkook nodded, decisive. "If you want it."

Yeah, you want it! Who were you kidding? But there was a little problem. When you said you didn't make preparations, you meant you didn't shave. It wasn't that you didn't do it ever, just occasionally, but despite fooling around for some weeks now, you never really anticipated this moment to come so there wasn't some deliberate choice to shave, especially not tonight. Although, personally, you thought it shouldn't matter, because women have hair. He wasn't supposed to judge you for that, right?

But then you realized, this was literally Jungkook. He took your lack of experience really seriously and hasn't ever genuinely made fun of you for it. He was always gentle with you when you tried new things. He was the least person who would actually side-eye you for anything – especially not something as inconsequential as pubic hair.

But despite that, there was still a bit of hesitance in your voice when you verbalized your dilemma.

"I didn't shave."

"I don't mind that," Jungkook said oh-so casually, like he really didn't. And looking into his eyes, you knew he was being sincere. Then he got curious, "Do you? I guess I should've asked when you blew me. I don't really shave, just trim."

Well… that was too much information.

But somehow, the thought of him trimming his hair was kind of making you giggly but, like, weirdly hot at the same time. No, yeah – that was weird. You were being weird about the whole thing.

You shook your head, partly to answer him but mostly to shake those thoughts of him taking care of his nether business away.

"I don't mind it, too." Was what you said. To be honest, you were too focused on his penis when you blew him that you didn't really notice that.

"Nice," Jungkook smiled. His fingers were beginning to trail over the hem of your nightgown and you could've slipped out a moan right there. "Then don't worry about it. Guys don't really think about anything other than pussy when they eat one. I mean, in my case at least." He said, chuckling at his words, such a deep sound that it made you squeamish.

It didn't help that he looked so good, wearing his glasses again. His hair has gotten so long over the past week and it was so curly, looked so silky and smooth you just wanted to grab at them while he ate you out.

Alright. That was it, then.

© 𝐀𝐖𝐑𝐊𝐈𝐕𝐄 2023. all rights reserved. copying, editing, reposting and translating any of my works are not allowed.

[sixpossumsinatrenchcoat]

Natural Satellite [ch 7]

An In Stars and Time AU. In part seven, Isabeau talks to Loop. (SPOILER WARNING for the entire epilogue / "secret ending" / "two hats" / just really all conceivable spoilers! Read at your own risk!!!!!!)

You’re not going to talk to him, obviously. You’re under no obligation to chat up every idiot who comes your way. You’ll just stay in your tree and wish you were dead, like you always do when your stardust is off having manic episodes and/or interviewing genocidal maniacs. But when he shuffles up to your tree, the Fighter has the gall to say, “Um… Loop? Are you home?” (NO.) Against your better judgment, you allow him to see you. "You don’t really believe that this little tree is my home, do you?” “Nnnot... anymore?” “Aw, Fighter,” you giggle. “Did you think that stars grew on trees? I’m devastated to deprive you of such a charming misconception.”

Again, and I cannot emphasize this enough: a6se spoilers below!!!!

(And a followup PSA: with all the unsettling updates viz a viz "whoops maybe AI-training / content-scraping is coming to Tumblr too," for now I think I'm gonna stop posting entire chapters on here! I'll still post a sizeable preview, but the work in full will continue to hide out on ao3.)

In hindsight, your first mistake was letting yourself believe that things couldn’t get any worse. You should have known the Universe would take it as a challenge.

* * *

In a field a quarter-mile further south and a few hundred feet to the east, a Traveler jolts awake. They sit up on their elbows just in time to see their Fighter hurtling into view.

The Fighter beams at him. “It worked!!!!!”

“—Buh?”

(Ve~ry articulate, stardust. Why, I can’t think of a single reason why the big guy might take that the worst way he can think of!!!)

Sure enough, the Fighter sags a little. “U-Um. I meant… looping back without dying?”

“...Oh.” They’re not looking at him, just down at their own hand. Running their fingers over their palm with a vague, faraway look in their eye. For a second, you can feel phantom fingers ghost over your wrist. “Um. Sorry.”

The Fighter looks baffled. “What? No. I mean, I’m sorry. Why are you sorry?”

The Traveler just keeps staring at their palm. When the Fighter’s eyes follow theirs, he flushes all the way down his neck.

You roll your eyes. He was always sooo~ easy. Not that your silly little stardust could ever rub two brain cells together for long enough to notice.

You can’t feel them all the way on the rooftop. Maybe it’s because you never made it that far. Or maybe it’s the King’s wish, dampening yours. But you can feel them now. The pins-and-needles prickle of your palm. Warm static fizzing up your arm. You can feel the way you— the way they’re looking at their Fighter, and trying not to look, and looking anyway. You have many faults, but you’re not stupid. You can put one and one together.

“UHHH,” the Fighter blurts out, overloud. “I’m… really sorry? I just… You said I had to do something you w-wouldn’t expect and I—I guess I really really didn’t want you to stab yourself, so…”

Your eyebrows twitch. (No they don’t. You don’t have eyebrows, probably. Unless you do? How would you ever know?)

“No,” your stardust mumbles. “It’s. Um. It’s… sorry, it’s… Sorry. Um. Don’t… worry about it?”

(…Are they stupid? He’s definitely going to worry about it.)

“Okay!!!!” the Fighter shouts. “Cool!!! Then I definitely won’t!!!”

(Uh huh.)

The Traveler shakes his head muzzily. “I—uh. I should go… do something? Else?”

“Huh?”

They gather just enough of their shattered composure to muster a glare. “If you’re going to make us fight the King every time, then I need everyone’s special skills. Or else it’s going to take forever.”

“Everyone’s what-now?”

“Their— When I help them with their problems, they—” He huffs impatiently. “It doesn’t matter. I just mean, I have things to do. Now. With the others.”

Their Fighter blinks at them. “Wait. You get friendship quests?”

“...Yes?”

“Secret quests!!!” the Fighter gasps, brightening. “What do you do with everyone??”

“That’s private.”

“Okay, fair. Well, then, what did you do with me?”

The Traveler looks away. “…Not telling.”

Well, of course they won’t. Wouldn’t want their precious Fighter just… saying his lines. Parroting the same stupid sentiments over and over till the words all lose their meaning, like a certain blinding moron who you are, of course, far too decorous to name.

“U-Um,” the Fighter mumbles. “Okay, well. If you’re gonna be busy with the others, then… I think I wanna talk to Loop.”

You nearly fall out of your tree. Fortunately, the only witness is a nearby nest of swallows, which you’ve already sworn to silence.

In the field, your stardust looks almost as surprised. “You’re—what? Just you?”

The Fighter nods.

“You and Loop?”

“...Is that okay?”

“...Yes?” You can feel their bafflement all the way from here. Or is that yours? Sometimes it’s hard to tell.

* * *

You’re not going to talk to him, obviously. He’s not the one trapping you here. That would be his precious little Traveler. You’re under no obligation to chat up every idiot who comes your way. You’ll just stay in your tree and wish you were dead, like you always do when your stardust is off having manic episodes and/or interviewing genocidal maniacs.

But when he shuffles up to your tree, the Fighter has the gall to say, “Um… Loop? Are you home?”

(NO.)

Against your better judgment, you allow him to see you. "You don’t really believe that this little tree is my home, do you?”

“Nnnot anymore?”

“Aw, Fighter~,” you giggle. “Did you think that stars grew on trees? I’m devastated to deprive you of such a charming misconception.”

“That’s not what I—!! Aw, it doesn’t matter. Sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“Teehee! I wouldn’t worry about that!” Only people are capable of offense, and you haven’t been a person in a long time. “What is it that you want, Fighter? Or are you just here to enjoy the pleasure of my company.”

“Um… Well, I’m also here to say hi?”

Your patience thins. “You don’t have to lie to me.”

Isa— The Fighter flinches. “Haha… I guess I just wanted to ask about, um…” He pulls a notebook out of his pocket. “You and Sif have been trying to figure this out for, like, ages, right? Ages and ages of loops.”

“Mhmmm~~”

“And you’ve been talking with them this whole time.”

“That’s right! I’ve come to know my sweet little stardust quite intimately, teehee.”

The Fighter chokes. “I. Uh. Right. So, then, do you… Have you guys figured anything out about why this is happening?”

“‘Why,’ hm? Aren’t we getting a little ahead of ourselves? I would’ve thought you’d start with ‘how.’”

“Well, it’s all one big ouroboros, isn’t it?”

You quirk an eyebrow at him. “That’s an awfully big word for a guy who can’t even confess a crush.”

His face flushes violently. Bullseye.

“Oooh, did I guess right?” you giggle, like it wasn’t abundantly obvious. “How embarrassing! You have such bad taste!”

“Hey.”

“Am I wrong, though?” You wink. “You’ve seen how they’ve been acting. Now that the show is over, they’re finally ready to show their true shades.”

The Fighter’s fists clench. Good. Time to finish him off. If you play your cards right, he’ll never want to come back.

“Say, here’s a fun game!” you say brightly. “Do you want to guess how many times he let you all die just to save a little time?”

Want to finish out this chapter? You can read the rest on AO3!

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

read chapter 236 again and was reminded of why it’s one of my faves hehe i gotta ramble a bit (SPOILERS UNDER CUT watch out!!)

just . (grabs u by the shoulders)……. these two panels in particular. the mean the whole world to me. some of my absolute favorites in the whole series and they made me sob irl when i read 236 for the first time…. i’m just :((( i know a LOT of people hate this chapter but u have to admit akutami’s art is stunning here ……

(also for the record one of the VERY few times where i prefer the official translation to tcb scans… they ate w ”you were magnificent, satoru gojo.” ok)

first of all; the stsg moment of All time <333

this moment absolutely destroyed me tbh it might be my favorite panel in the whole manga???? just the fact that we got to see suguru again, that we got to hear them speak and be honest with each other for once…. this feels like something out of a fanfic like genuinely. it’s such a heartfelt moment and i’ve never seen anything like it in shounen manga before!!! just… the fact that gojo wanted him to come back even after everything :(( and that he says it out loud. to suguru himself.

what gets me most is suguru’s tears though…. he really did believe that gojo hated him and i think that’s why it guts him. he can be as cruel as he wants but he’ll never receive anything but love from gojo!!! stupid silly idiot!!! you were always so loved by everyone around you!!!! people followed you no matter where you went because you’ve always been haunted by your own sincerity in a world that rewards insincerity!!!! stupid loser idiot. i love you.

also tbh cult leader geto just looks so fucking cute here i’m gonna be sick LOOK AT HIM GRINNING 🥺🥺🥺 we were ROBBED of deranged teacher geto ok can u imagine the chaos….. him pretending to be Normal but when he has to talk to a non-sorcerer he looks like this 🤨 and immediately pulls out the febreze PDHFJS

but w the stsg moment out of the way :33…

THIS PANELLLL GOODDDD THIS FUCKING PANEL i love sukugo SO much okay. almost as much as stsg. sue me. their dynamic was the highlight of the shinjuku battle for sure and i could talk about this moment for genuine hours because it means so much, it means so much that he calls him satoru gojo instead of the strongest, it means so much that his words make gojo smile, it means so much that this is the most at peace we’ve ever seen sukuna. their bond is very special and no one but them can really understand it….. but i think there’s a kind of Love here. even if it’s twisted.

i think gojo really did succeed in teaching sukuna about love because he’s never going to be entirely alone after this — even if he’s destroyed and comes back millennia later, he’ll remember satoru gojo (if no one else). and that’s so!! so beautiful!!!! this moment is so beautiful!!!! he’s smiling and gojo’s smiling and it’s snowing and i cried so hard i couldn’t speak. it’s so heartwrenchingly gorgeous it makes me feel a little nauseous

anyway i love this chapter and i think abt it constantly ✩ gege gave the stsg / sukugo stans everything they wanted (yes he also sliced gojo in half but if u don’t think he’s coming back u simply have no faith and i’m disappointed in u)

[trashbins-stuff]

Hello. I have seen that you have been tagged by @neobixiscool on one of their posts. I am planning to make a rant post on them. If you can provide some background info and your side of the story, that would be great. If you feel uncomfortable discussing this, that's ok. Have a good day/evening.

rub hands together like flies. my time has come/silly 😋😋

and thank you for coming to me :3 i appreciate it/gen also i get to go all cabby on this hehe

oh and, im not really hurt-hurted by them, i feel like mocha (mochablogger), liam (moonmxple) and mac (blairdrawzstuff) are most affected. They did have a book with my character in it but in a different universe or something (without my consent nor credit btw). Anyway under the cut is my observant. Honestly i think i might have jsut make the rant post for you lmao hrgbnhe 😭😭

the background/before:

mocha was working on a little story and xe said we could be in it! so obviously me and my friends signed up for the fun, not really expecting anything, the story was called "The Traumatized Cup", thats when we first meet him.

In one of the chapter mocha had introduced rubix, at first i didnt really think much about him, i was just aware of his presence, i do notice him and mocha started to become friends and i thought that was great :)

something that you should probably contact cuppy for more info:

so rubix (or according to rubix, "jasp" was roleplaying) and mocha were friends on facebook, and they roleplayed there i think, this i just know but apparently he said crap about liam (mocha's platonic partner and my best friend). Mocha is very sensitive and even in roleplay xe's still uncomfortable with what rubix said

"bezel's" divorce headcanon (and possible influence on further problems):

i heard people talked about it but never knew where it came from, but thne i found out and,,

tdlr; 1st one is about mocha and rubix, i dont know if mocha consent to it. 2nd one is uh a bit weird i i guess like he could have ask facemoji to make another one ;-;. 3rd ah yes the divorce that i had heard about!/vneg

rubix said bezel forced him into making the 1st one, even if thats true, rubix said the divorce was bezel's headcanon but hes the one that decided to post the 3rd one ("okay i asked facemoji again..")

seem kinda sus not gonna lie..but what do i nose right :-)

bezel probably influence more but even after all these months im still not sure if he really did do those things, idk lul, it is pretty weird that bezel's blog was a sideblog though (liam told me)

heres a bunch of words with link attach, those r my opinions lmao:

these u can just click to read so i hope thats okay

on wattpad he have a book in which he painted mocha, hazel and blair as manipulative (admittedly his writing was good, he could have used it for something different though)

he also uses some of our characters (such as mocha cuppy, hazel, blair, harp, blueberry, winter, bin (mine btw), seedling, galaxy journal,...etc) he did the delete that book tho, anyway heres more screenshot proof (credit @moonmxple )

mocha asked liam and neobix said its cringe

i remember this one also

the one where he tried to ban pet name and online dating (in 2023) (check the comment and other reblogs also theres alot, its practically a goldmine/silly)

and can i say he barely knows our friend group? like sure he knows mocha but hes trying to fit into our group (very poorly)

please read what cass wrote in the comment (thanks cass for speaking out about it ily)

the ask i sent him

NOT to get all bitchy here but mocha blocked you therefore you literally dont appear anywhere on xer dash, you're out of xer life and xe had no reason to pester you, not everything has to be about mocha. You guy's relationship (or supposedly lack there of) had change but honestly? thats okay they dont have to like the same people that they liked yesterday. You might think you know that's them but it wasnt, mocha in real life is kinder and better than the version inside of your head and they're happier now and its so sad that you cant see (because you're blocked)

and again, not everything has to be about YOU

he also made it all about HIM like excuse me ???? can i not complain for little bit without you coming in and nag about your problem ??? if you're suffering go talk to someone dont talk to online strangers ??? :)))???????

bro cant even read a long paragraph post like go back to elementary school lmao, also reporting ppl just because they use their right to not forgive you is such a sore loser move, it make you sound like petty six year old (also max be spitting facts tho)

bro brought out HIS right (reporting mocha, which he actually cant do if he doesnt have a valid reason) while ignore MOCHA's right (not forgiving him, which isnt a valid reason for him to report xem). The definition of petty is literally complain way too much about unimportant things that could have and should have ended already

"you dont have to relate to everything you see on the internet, somethings are simply not about you" :)

did you know that to report someone you have to click alot of buttons??

common salad W &lt;3333

oh yeah, this doesnt have links but jasp/neobix is being so casual abt bezel's death but also uses it as a way to make people feel bad for getting upset with what he did

Sorry for playing the dickhead role, but you wouldn't be laughing if you knew how we felt about every single one of you. (why it sound serious all the sudden lol)

why i still doubt (uh and heads up, galaxy brush, kodu, cuppy,..others who think @/rubixisanidi0t was saying the truth, im not saying he isnt but you cant blame me for not trusting can you? please skip this part if you're sensitive):

naw so if this was suppose to be jasp then whats jasp motive lmao :/..he dont gain anything from this + who tell people their secret plan publicly?? + how did jasp know about rubixs hallucination?? rubix please dont tell such personal things to jsut your friends and please just talk to an adult in real life. And jasp, dont let these kind of things on the internet its not safe/srs

this is just straight up weird and also why did neobix/jasp said "old friend" like hes rubix?? when he supposedly told rubix and i quote "yeah.. Soo.... This person named @/mochablogger seemed like some cool person, and when I tried to talk with them... Nothing happened, so when I figured they didn't care... It all happened at once." neobix/jasp and mocha werent even friend to begin with why was he SO obssess over getting mochas forgiveness when they supposedly barely interact much??

aint it a bit weird how this is supposedly jasp/neobix but why would they make this video??? it???doesnt make any sense?? and like were rubix and jasp still good friend??? why wood bezel make jasp of all people do it??? unless yk

HOL UP, WAIT A MINUTE..if rose jelly dated rubix but rubix tunred out to be jasp then..WHO IS ROSE JELLY ACTUALLY DATING??????

if @/neobixiscool is suppose to be jasp then how did he get a screenshot for a show rubix was making???

i translated it and head up. it has death threat in it

you know, if someone stole my account and ruin my reputation i wouldnt be following them and be mutuals with them :)

i appreciate him saying hell save us but like..why would @/neobixiscool linked the real rubix's yt and discord knowing full well that the real rubix was there and could told joiners the truth??? that seem kinda dumb ngl also on the channel you can find a video called "waitng for forgiveness" which @/neobixiscool had talked about. and lets do a bit of timing here, if rubix really was telling the truth and havent been on social media since his alst post on @/rubixcuix (last posted in august) and the divorce arc and the roleplay thing and EVERYTHING had started in september, and if the yt belonged to rubix, then he shouldnt have known that mocha didnt forgive him and make that video????? bc he wasnt suppose to be there since august??? bc if anything he shouldnt be waiting for forgiveness bc if jasp really did steal his tumblr account then its not his fault?? like i find it absoltuely HILARIOUS that the evidence agaisnt what rubix said was on both the account @/neobixiscool AND @/rubixisanidi0t's PINNED post?? and it boggles my mind how no one talks abt this???/lh/nm i mean its quite obvious maybe im jsut really observant though idk

if you got your account stolen and jasp supposedly brought back a wattpad book, i dont think you should be continuing it?? and didnt you said your reported him on wattpad?? on the same account where the book is?? why are you acting like "yes i did promise them this and im fully aware of what happen even though i supposedly havent been here since august and i will continue this book" has it hit you?

uh yeah so these are just my silly little takes, but hey! what do i nose? :-)

[grimdarkfandango]

Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better

got tagged in an ask meme by @saltedpin thank you!!! I love oversharing on the internet!!!

3 Ships you like: god. okay. be cruel then.

Winter/Kitten - yes we're leading with OCs deal with it SOMETIMES you take a beloved archetype pairing, reshape them like silly putty, put them in separate dnd games, and spend four years running continuous RP with a partner in multiple different au variations because they are perfect actually (shout out to @andromeda-reinvented for literally keeping me sane and fed :prayer emoji:)

Kitten is my husband and also my phone lockscreen and has never done anything wrong in his life (the murders are fine)

Songxue - this is the wizard behind the curtain of winter/kitten, but they are different for all that they're the same. otherwise, uh. see above for all other applicable details lmao

Endhawks - the DRAMA the DILFYNESS the LEGEND look all of my pairings need a certain level of unhealthy devotion and self-sacrifice and not to spoil the current manga chapters for anyone but [blood seeps from my mouth as I start screeching incoherently] anyway yeah big man hot little guy feral

Ganlink - hey riley why are you putting an unnecessary fourth pairing, did you think we weren't already very clearly aware of your type here. no. okay. sure. big man hot little guy feral!!!!!

First Ship Ever: oh god bro I don't know if I have the memory details for that. the first ships I remember going and reading fic for were bandom (*nsync, JC/Lance, yes you heard me) or probably good old gundam wing 1x2, despite having seen approximately none of the show lmao

Last song you heard: Nightmares by the sea - jeff buckley when I started / The life I was missing - flannel graph when I finished (all off my Winter playlist. it's 12hrs long)

Favourite childhood book: I was one of those advanced reader kids who turned up my nose at kids books and for many years almost exclusively read sf/f off dad's bookshelf, which is a long way of saying it was the full ten book run of the belgariad and the mallorean, which I would reread twice a year between the ages of 9-16

is it my favourite now? god no. but I cannot deny what shaped me

Currently Reading: I just started the first Dragonlance book so, I guess, some things don't change

Currently Watching: everything currently airing on Dropout, also The Expanse (finally)(slowly)(I like it too much to binge I think)

Currently Craving: D I N N E R

Tagging: HMMMM ok @andromeda-reinvented, @bigneonglitter, @oldcoyote, @prairie-grass, and anyone else who wants to just say I tagged u!!!

[reader1238765]

Alastor x Reader

Chapter one:

One

i swallow

Two

breathing heavily

Three

Sweat drips down my temple

Four.

"Action!"

I smirk up at the camera as multiple men jump onto me.

I make all my prettiest faces.

Make all my prettiest sounds.

"That's it pretty girl"

Disgust riddles my body and I almost slip up.

I spit on his chest and giggle up at him as my arms are bound above my head.

He makes a disgusting noise.

I make an even worse one.

"Cut!"

I drop all my acts and all my trained motions.

"What the fuck was that Lemonie?"

I roll my eyes and roll out of the bed.

"What? Wasn't slutty enough? Or was it that you wanted it more innocent this time?"

"Oh please you don't want to start a fight with me right now. Do it right or don't do it at all and you know what happened when you don't do it at all. Don't you?" Valentino growls through his teeth.

I snarl and go back to my positions.

~

"Tough shoot?" Olivia

Oh Olivia Olivia Olivia.

Your all I breath for

Or... actually

"Ugh. 10"

"10?"

"10."

"Ahhh gotcha" she shrugs and hands me a coffee.

Her bedroom is a perfect palace of pink with her perfect heart mirrors and doors of wood and chains.

She's a very good actress.

I lay on her perfect palace pink bed with a heart headboard.

The tips of the roses sitting in a glass on her nightstand shake softly with the pacing of her soft bunny feet.

"Anyway doll I gotta head out for a shoot so I'll text ya later?"

Her long ears bop behind her as she skips out of the room.

The white fluff of her hair runs down her back, not quite to her butt but right above her little bunny tail.

"Bye Lonna!"

Lonna. Lonna Lonna Lonna.

I hate that name.

The name on my contract the name of my soul.

The very name that got me into this mess.

~

A simple bedroom with cotton pillows and bright hopes and dreams of vibrant colours.

Mashed browns and whites and greys, maybe some ivory, maybe some cloudy blue.

Nothing more than an estate of blandness.

"Lemonie!!!! Into the studio now."

Valentino's grading voice, like when people try to open a bottle with their teeth.

"What" I walk into the purple studio, heels clicking like the slapping of a whip.

"What the fuck is this Velvette? I told u to hashtag it and put as many as you could" Valentino is shoving an iPhone in Velvettes face, mad about something.

"Hashtags are thirsty. I won't be apart of that, do it yourself if u want to ruin your brand fuckface" she claps back and shows herself off.

Valentino's angry red eyes meet mine. Boy am I in for a day...

Walking around the V's skyscraper is like walking around a fire pit. Ash and all.

You have to balance enough to not fall in, but you have to act natural enough so it doesn't seem like you're trying.

The people sitting around the campfire would laugh if they saw you worried about a silly little flame.

A flame that could grow much bigger, a master of deception. A little flame that could secretly take down the entire world if given the chance.

The plain tiles, slick and shiny as always, reflect my bare feet dancing around, heels in hand, headphones berating my head.

I hum along, singing a word every now and then.

My green skin glistens with sweat, my equally just as green hair, down across my shoulders and to the floor.

(See end of chapter for picture of character) (you can change if u want)

I nod my head to the tune, Eyes closed.

"Lemonie what the fuck are you doing?"

I pause. My eyes open. And pretty wide too. Wide enough to see the smirk on Vox's face.

And the 7foot tall red demon he stands beside.

The harrowing smile plastered on his face seems permanent. His eyes just as wide as mine looking at me with curiosity.

"Uh" I look between Vox and the macabre demon beside him.

The demon blinks at me but the rest of him doesn't move an inch.

"Get the fuck out of here" Vox scoffs and I go on my merry way.

The tall demons engrossing glowing red eyes trail me as I leave the room.

Back to my boring little bedroom.

Ivory bed set and grey set walls. All plain and boring.

See, apparently I wasn't a good enough actor to put in bedroom requests.

A knock at my door peaks my interest and I open wide.

Wide enough for the world to see me.

Wide enough for my privatest parts to be plastered all over the city on billboards and jackasses trucks.

Wide enough for the camera to take just one more photo.

"Wider Lemonie" Valentino barks and I comply.

Nothing like contract work for a Saturday night.

"God fucking damn it Lemonie if you don't split your entire fucking pussy for this screen I swear to god I will do it for you" Valentino vociferates and I again try to please his needs.

I roll my eyes and besides my obvious concern for my own body I split.

As big and pretty as I can. Just for my Vali-Poo

"Valentino. My office now" Vox bursts in, giving me no more than a once over before pulling Valentino aside.

I take my opportunity to break and close my legs, grabbing a robe and holding it closer than any childhood toy i ever owned.

"Hey toots! Been waiting to see your face around here" Angel stumbles into the studio as I'm standing from the bed.

"Hey Angie" I smile and welcome him with open arms into a pretty shitty but well needed hug.

"Hey uh I got a favor to ask of u baby cakes I hope you don't mind"

"What's up?"

"So uh I got this friend and uh... so basically you know that hotel I'm staying at?"

"Yea?" I raise a brow expectantly

"Well... the owner, Charlie, is havin' a tough time recruiting people for her whole cause or whatever and I know that you want out of here.. so uh. You can come crash there for a bit? It's all free baby"

My red eyes dart between his and ponder.

"Like... just show up? And.. live there?"

"Yeah! It'll be fun, whadaya say?"

"Uh.. um. Well. How does Valentino feel about that?"

"Well you still gotta come and work.. but yk you don't have to be here your whole life and you can actually live.. even though ur... dead"

"Well."

Months and years and lifetimes worth of torture flood my brain and take my soul into a whorl wind of memories and hopes of freedom.

My first few months of the contract I begged that it wouldn't last forever but deep down I knew it would be till I wouldn't make him money anymore, then he would kill me and I would be free.

Even though I won't be free now... he could forget about me? But no. How could he forget when the name Lonna is plastered on one of his contracts.

He could be madder.. he could leave me alone.. he could punish me more than he ever has before...

I could be free.

"I'm in"

READ MORE ON WATTPAD

Third chapter coming soon! 👹👹

[otrtbs]

here is some nightly ahb thoughts i've been having a lot recently:

the one thing that makes me sad about being so incredibly excited about ahb is that i will never get to share my theories with people who are still reading it for the first time. like when i read it i was 100% convinced that james was going to die (up until the chapter where the mcd actually happened) because there were So Many little comments that pointed to that. and then when the heist chapter happened i saw something about it before on tiktok and i was absolutely certain james would die that very chapter and i have never been more stressed reading anything in my life. like i sat an hour later still being anxious, it was intense. and i wish i could just tell people 'look at this!! look at this metaphor or this offhanded comment james made!! i bet he dies!!' without, in some way or another, spoilering them for what's to come. so i always wait until they're done with the fic and then tell them about it, but it does make me sad that i can't share my theories and have them build their own from that while they're still reading

anyway, sending you lots of love, i hope you have a nice [insert time of day that's applicable to you when you read this] <33

awwww i love this

this is actually one of my favorite things about reading wips and why i love it so much because if u get other friends to read them or find other fandom ppl who are reading the same wips you can all sit down and scream at each other about ur theories and things together !!! but this is so so sweet to know you were so into it!!! it makes me so happy to hear!!! also so many ppl thought someone was gonna die during the actual heist i was like "pls dont be disappointed y'all!! they all live to see another day!!" a fun little silly fact from me i don't think james will ever be killed tragically in my fics ever, because i simply cannot do it,,, i just can't kill him i love him too much so i make him suffer even more by forcing him to survive haha sending you all the love!! (also hope ur having a good day night!!! <333)

[ddeongies]

this ended up being way longer than i expected (again) LOL

to start off, i love how they're in this gray area of managing to pick up on each others hints but still not fully on each other's level with things, like there's still a few (really important) things they need to iron out ---relationship status, what they both want out of this, etc. basics really. but they're also at a point where i'd call it inevitable. but at the same time AGH omg. a lovely level of frustration. ryujin thinking the posts yeji made weren't for her....i need to smack her omg.

one thing i really really love about the way you write them (in all your works but i feel its to a greater extent in nmau because it has more time to actually dig in to these things given that its a slowburn) is just this overarching relationship dynamic where all ryujin has to do is say "yes" and yeji will meet her as far as she's willing to let her... which ofc is not to say that there's no effort on ryujin's part, but ive noticed that ryujin tends to be the one that requires more...coaxing so to speak, when you're writing longer stories about them getting together. and i love this! i think it's a very good bit of characterization (for both of them) and it's not exactly the same over all of your works which just makes me love to see it even more than i already do.

the way yeji "places the ball in ryujins court" as you put it, just really hammers it in, the way that yeji will implicitly say "ok, im here, whenever you're ready". it's in the way she stops as soon as ryujin is uncomfortable when they were kissing the first time, in the way she watches and waits for ryujin to come to the bed, these little bits of opening the door but not forcing ryujin into a decision she might not be ready to make. ugh ITS SO GOOD. + like on top of that i think you write yeji in a way where its obvious like.. even though she literally would give ryujin the world if she asked for it, she still will make sure that she herself is feeling okay about everything and that by doing it she's not totally ignoring her own emotional needs + all that. if that makes sense, i feel like the way im phrasing this makes rj seem really passive but THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN u know what i mean, right. like it definitely goes both ways but. yeah. i saw it a lot in balcony au and choreo au as well, just got me thinking a bit. anyway,

some misc stuff from the rest of the chapter:

really great to see how ryujin felt about the events of winter break, i really love ur split povs, u balance each character voice so well.

i love ryujin and yunas friendship in this, i don't think ive mentioned that before but its really good

hwang "fire react" yeji..............

she thinks she's so sneaky, getting yejis number and asking her to model for her sjwhdkfjfk GIRL. and yeji 😭 "oh, youre really gonna..." LMAO

the tension in that whole scene.....delicious omg.....like its hot and heavy and so palpable like you can actually feel how hot it is through the screen. its so good.

they did it! and it only took them 11 chapters wow. i honestly like how this was a bit more on the emotional side rather than outright explicit fucking which like! is still great dont get me wrong, but i think it's very fitting for this particular instance.

"come here, beautiful" i feel normal about this!

yeji getting locked out 😔😔😔 shes so silly. but god ryujins reaction to waking up alone....dude....u gotta talk to yeji abt whwt u want out of this.....

rj talking about how she "cant have yeji the way she wants" DUDE. GET A GRIPPPPP SJES HEAD OVER HEELS FOR U.

this honestly felt very... sequel to the movie couch moment when ryu let her shirt "slip" off her shoulder, only this time they've both somewhat acknowledged the huge mess of attraction between them and so something can actually happen instead of both parties left unsatisfied. i love it i love character and relationship development.

"no, keep going" "im sure" are we even still talking about figure drawing...

yeji ordering basically just chocolate milk...i love her so bad

"sure yeji can be kind of goofy but its charming" u are so....sureee...u just keep telling urself ur not obsessed with her.

yejis focus face…dont get me started...lets just say if she looked at me like that. i would no longer exist.

shoving each other🥹🥹 like i really love how uve written them as "friends first" so to speak, like theyve made a really solid foundation for this budding relationship(if you can call it that yet LOL, ill let them have it though). its so great...its so great...and yeji walking ryu all the way back to her dorm ohhhhh....overall.

very good chapter as always.... definitely looking forward to the next one!! whenever that may be, lol. that and other projects u may be cooking alongside it...thanks as always and take care!

-🖤

long comments like this make me 😈 i’m so ready (i’ll go under a read more tho lol)

i honestly love the point they’re at right now too! they’re somehow on exactly the same page in a way that makes them not be on the same page LOL. like you feel the same way about each other and are assuming the same thing about each other’s feelings!! it is inevitable though isn’t it? someone’s just gotta be a little brave :)

yes yes yes i know what you mean!!! i’m so glad you’ve picked up on and appreciate the way i do the relationship and the characterization there (and that it’s working in general!) you put it really well like, yeji (irl and when i write her) is such a freaking observant person. like you can see the way she watches people, sees when people are uncomfortable, etc. ryu is such an internal and sensitive person and a deep thinker and feeler, and i just love the way those two ways of being match up like “i know how i feel, and i see that you’re figuring yourself out in that way you do, so i’m here for you and i’m gonna be steady through your process” or something idk i’m rambling. but yes! yeji will still protect herself and her own feelings. like, yes, she’s not 100% doing that in feeling that ryu doesn’t want what she wants, but i think part of her can feel the way they really are on the same page (and that ryu would never want to hurt her)

misc stuff!

i love writing this story split pov! when i first came up with  the idea i realized there was no way i could tell the story i wanted to from just one pov. i love having them reflect back on previous chapters but also not on every single thing that happened just the stuff they would naturally be thinking about when we’re back in their heads

i love 2shin…. i love writing hwangshin and 2shin in the same fic my loves

the 🔥 is so important to yeji you have no idea (or maybe you do at this point)

the “oh, you’re really gonna…” like she was right to assume what she was being invited for but still LMAO

i love writing tension…..i love it

just took them like 50k but they finally made it we cheered 🥳 and yeah! i really want this fic to stay M rated i think it just fits the vibes better than E (the next scene might be a liiiil more smutty but still they are Pure)

ryu feels normal about it too and so do i yeji is so 😵‍💫

yeji would get locked out LOL (and yeah ryu pls get a grip girl she likes you so so bad and has for months)

yes!! a similar situation (with the same mastermind), but they’ve honestly come so far since then like they’re truly in a different phase of their relationship now :’) it opens so many doors for them

we’re not not talking about figure drawing ;)

yeji’s sweet tooth is so so dear to me (and chocolate milk is also a great pre workout drink for our little jock)

ryu is genuinely obsessed with her they’re gross! and they will get grosser!

yeji’s focused face is….. let me not speak actually

they’re CUTE they’re friends but also a lil more than friends but also who knows and i honestly love it for them! like no matter what there’s no way they would ever just have a physical relationship when they like each other this much even if neither of them is ready to fully make that leap yet

thank you for such a long and lovely comment as always!! made my day/week/idk how time works anymore is it finally friday thank god

[causenessus]

long time no speak! before i go on i just wanna let you know its perfectly fine if you dont see my asks/questions !! seriously ^^ i understand you're busy with writing or outside shtuff so dont add more stress to yourself hun <3

i do want to ask how you write dialog so smoothly? ive always struggled on writing conversations without it seeming awkward or really forced??

thank you again for helping me i really truely appreciate it more than i can express. you are a saint

-smau anon <33

SMAU ANON!!!!! HELLO HELLO <3 i hope you're doing well!! and i will always answer your questions even if it takes a little bit <3 thank you so much for being patient aa!! <3 and i was just thinking about you earlier this week i hope that your writing and planning has been going good!!!

(clipping this so it isn't super long, sorry i YAP)

honestly 😭 i feel like sometimes i struggled with this too but what i think is choppy no one else sees so first of all it's important to remember not to be too hard on yourself!! i'm not sure if you're talking about texts or actual written dialogue but in case it's both, let me start with text:

i often think in a mindset of how i text. and to be honest while i'm outlining i usually get tons of ideas for little texts/entire conversations anyway and so i'll write it all out (for example, my love notes outline was 116 pages long LMAO because the entire thing is just me writing out text like this-

"atsumu: OKAY WELL NOW YOU GUYS REALLY WENT ON A DATE oikawa: i hope you gave her a new years kiss osamu: i think you’re putting too much faith in him bokuto: I HOPE YOU GUYS HAD A GOOD TIME!! suna: bokuto and osamu are the only good people here osamu: if you had to elope with one of us who would u pick"

-yes i did copy that straight from my document. so FIRST since writing that all out + outlines works for me, my outline is basically my rough draft and i think it always helps just to have an idea of what you're thinking of writing before you start writing it! so i'm pretty sure that i changed up bokuto's text in that clip because when i was writing the actual chapter, i didn't think it flowed well or was very in character for him. which leads me into my second point which is for texts and written parts! i think it gets easier if you try to just think from the point of view/mindsets of characters. like suna is obviously a very much more relaxed laid back guy who doesn't talk with a lot of enthusiasm while atsumu is a little more dumb!! (we love him) and loud!!! if you struggle with trying to imagine how they would talk, i would recommend doing things like rewatching episodes/clips of them. before writing love notes, i rewatched the inarizaki match to get a better feel for him (even though they gave me so little of my husband 😔😔😔 i took what i could get). pinterest also has lots of funny or romantic silly little text clips if you just search them up which is what inspired lots of the love notes epilogue (such as the "i'm going to strangle you" "can you even reach my neck" texts, that was literally something i found on pinterest) that you can get inspiration from or even your own funny texts with friends!

for written dialogue, i tend to imagine the scene playing out and then i sort of write what i envisioned. like i imagined suna and y/n on the train, how they're looking at each other, and what they would talk about and then wrote that out! i italicize how they're looking at each other because it's always nice to add descriptions to your writings sometimes :) and when you imagine the scenes, it's sort of second nature! i'd say it once again just really goes back to having a good hold and understand of your characters and how they'll interact. and when you understand them, it also becomes easier to envision them. and also remember everyone writes and interprets things differently!!! you will write your own version of characters and it will be perfect. do not worry about being "ooc" or anything! finding how you relate to characters and giving them personal experiences (if that makes sense) can help you understand those characters more if you struggle with it. and again, rough drafts are super helpful! and they're called ROUGH for a reason. like if you're not feeling a scene, don't force yourself to write it, just be like "y/n and kenma do this." and then move on! when i'm just not too sure about ideas or i can't imagine anything at the moment, i will literally just be like "y/n and suna see each other at onigiri miya." and then tab it. i hope some of this is helpful!! 😭 i keep going on and on because i'm trying to make sure i'm actually explaining things well and in a way that makes sense. i didn't always used to imagine scenes as i wrote them but i would highly recommend it if you're brain works that way! it's like making/watching a movie in your head and thinking of it that way makes it a bit easier for dialogue to flow at least for me so that's my number one tip <3 i hope this helped a little bit!! and i can't wait to talk to u again lovely <3

[sparklingchim]

told you i had a darly sixth sense! read the chapter and scanned the asks so i have a couple of thoughts!

first of all ylm jk you frustrate me so!!! he so effortlessly shows how much he loves oc and how attentive he is and can be, so i'm sure he's realized that she's not so fulfilled nowadays with how their relationship is going but he's just choosing to ignore it for now. my brother in christ grow a pair!! love's starting to not be enough!! and you've got a baddie at your side who's slowly but surely growing tired......

i know we barely know our mc so i guess opinions on her might be a bit mixed rn but i'm definitely on her defending squad and i didn't appreciate that some of you weren't putting respect on her name.... like yeah we all see how privileged she is and that "she knew what she was getting into" but that's the point, he clearly once knew how to handle everything but now he is not as careful with striking a work-life balance and she is entitled to be upset about this relationship becoming something she did not sign up for, he set expectations up and i don't think we can blame her for being disappointed (oooh darly isn't it fun how your work generates discourse!)

i just had a silly little thought/an au for this story that since yk pregnancy/motherhood is a topic here and this last chapter was so focused on how easy it is for oc to be with yumi so maybe they separate but she's pregnant (obviously in this scenario both of them are in agreement in terms of keeping the baby no matter the circumstances)..... it'd be so interesting to see how they would navigate their separation, since it would be a kind of death occurring at the same time as a birth. i don't know, just something that came across my mind!

i think all that's left are some questions i have! i'm sure you've said it before but i just can't remember: will they only be separating or actually going through with a divorce? aaaand two parts??? we're in for a ride! will it be pre and post separation or is it still all going down in part one? (maybe you can't answer any of these and that's totally fine!)

anyways, my heart becomes achey with these two no matter how sweet some parts may be so i think we'd all do good with ego season next, if that floats your boat (as always, no pressure at all, managing one story is already hard, your pace deserves our respect and whatever you prefer to work our appreciation)

it's always lovely reading you, sorry for the essay i just dropped in your inbox; lots of love,

bloom 💐

omg everyone shush miss bloom is here !!!!!

ur so right ! he knows her so well and notices everything abt her, there's actually no way he hasn't noticed oc's unhappiness </3

(oooh darly isn't it fun how your work generates discourse!)

i actually blushed like a little girl !!! 😭 it's always pretty unexpected, but it's so fun seeing people share their thoughts and read all of them, especially ones i don't rlly agree with !!

ur little au idea !! v intriguing bestie 🫢 "it would be a kind of death occurring at the same time as birth" oh bloom, i love ur mind so much <3 i love the idea <3

to ur questions, they will actually go through with a divorce 🫢 </3 and yes, there'll be multiple parts !! three in total !! the second part is post break up !! right after they separate !

teehee the way u also sensed that ego season would be next ?🤭 i'll try my best to post the next chapter for that soon <33

i love u n missed u so much bloom!! n don't apologise !! i loved reading every single word u wrote 🫂 thank u so much for taking ur time to write all that down <3 mwahh mwahhh 😙