#anyway here this is

[snezus-christ-risen]

❄️ Agathario Holiday AU - Part 3 ❄️

Forced to break quarantine for a supply run, Agatha had an unexpected encounter at the supermarket that makes Rio feel some type of way. (6.2k words)

Part 1

Part 2

CW: sort of contagion (they’re both already sick but they’re not being careful about it), messy but not excessy

It was the morning of New Year’s Eve and Nicky was going fucking stir crazy. Agatha couldn’t blame the little guy — they were all losing their minds after six? seven? days confined to the apartment, too sick and tired to plan, let alone execute, any outings — but if it was a contest of who was losing their shit the most, Nicky was the winner by a long shot.

“It’s because he’s so healthy,” Rio had sighed as they watched him run circles around the kitchen island. It was such a funny thing to sound disappointed about, especially given his medical issues, but Agatha understood exactly what she meant by it. “It’s a blessing and a curse.”

It was a lot, being in charge of another human life when they barely felt alive themselves. Agatha and Rio had spent the week parenting in a haze, doing the bare minimum to keep their son clean, fed, and mostly happy while feeling guilty about it the entire time. Nicky was an easygoing kid, but even he had his limits, and the lack of variety in his day, which was usually so structured, was clearly driving him batshit crazy.

Agatha was dreading what today would bring without her wife there to share the parenting load. Rio was told she had no choice but to go into work if she wanted to take the rest of the week off on such short notice. She assured Agatha she would try to sneak away early, but stopped short of making any promises. To ensure she got to come home as soon as possible, Agatha decided she would do the shopping Rio had planned to do on the way home. It would be a good opportunity to get out, and a necessary one — between her out-of-control kid and empty refrigerator, she was feeling like a pretty pathetic excuse for a mother. The least she could do was take Nicky out for some fresh air and stock the kitchen with something other than the string cheese and Christmas cookies they had for breakfast.

As Agatha watched Nicky bounce around the hallway like a pinball that went rogue while doing that irritating pterodactyl screech Rio swore he would have outgrown by this age, she started to wonder if she had the energy for this today. It wasn’t too late to turn back — they were still in their building, just on the ground floor — but Agatha knew three things for certain: they needed food, they really needed tissues, and she needed Rio to get back home as soon as possible. So off to the grocery store she went, with her unleashed, sugared-up pterodactyl in tow.

When she sent the message she didn’t expect Rio to answer right away, but Agatha couldn’t deny the disappointment she felt when she arrived at the store without any notifications. She checked her phone once more after getting herself and Nicky into the building, then stuffed it deep in her jacket pocket.

By some miracle or twist of fate, Nicky was back to his calm, well-behaved self the moment they passed through the automated doors. He stopped whining about wanting to ride in the cart and opted to walk calmly beside his mother, holding her hand as he pointed out all the fruits and vegetables he could name in the produce section.

“Did the Mr. Hyde serum wear off?” Agatha laughed at her own joke as Nicky glanced up at her, brow furrowed, not understanding the reference. “Or maybe Mami was home for too long, being a bad influence.”

“It was Mami,” Nicky voted with a smile. “I’ll be good now, Mama. Promise.”

“Oh, baby.” Suddenly Agatha couldn’t look at him, but she gave his hand a squeeze as she fought to keep her voice steady. “You’re always good.”

They cruised through aisles that were blissfully devoid of other people, just her and her sweet angel of a son, collecting every item on their list in record time. Agatha thought they might even be able to squeeze in a much-needed oil change and trip to the coffee shop and still be back in time to welcome Rio home from work. Combined with the fact she made it through the whole morning without a single sneeze, just the occasional, easily subdued tickle that felt like tiny sparklers going off in her sinuses, Agatha was starting to entertain the possibility that the year could end on a positive note — a train of thought that abruptly went off the rails in a fiery blaze the moment she saw the redhead turning the corner.

There she was — Wanda fucking Maximoff. Judging from the contents of her cart, she was planning to host dinner for a dozen rabbits. She stopped to ponder the butter selection before glancing, inexplicably, towards Agatha, who had already started making a frantic attempt to turn her cart full of corn dogs and marshmallow-laden cereals in the opposite direction. The cart screeched as it decided to spontaneously develop a wonky wheel, an incident that probably had nothing to do with her trying to Tokyo drift it out of Aisle 11 and everything to do with the universe hating her.

“Dammit,” Agatha muttered under her breath, straining against the immovable cart. “Fuck me.”

“Those are bad words, Mama.”

“Agatha?” Wanda’s face lit up with recognition as Agatha’s grew hot. “Ag! Nicky!”

“Nope!” Agatha exclaimed, but in trying to manage an unwieldy cart and her squirming son at the same time, she felt Nicky slipping from her grasp. It was too late — he was already charging towards Wanda at full speed. Time for some damage control. Agatha begrudgingly fixed her face before whirling around and feigning pleasant surprise.

“Oh, Wanda, hi! Look, Ndicky,” she said, as if he wasn’t already in the process of throwing his arms around her. “It’s Mbiss Wanda.”

Of course her nose chose that moment to start clogging, blunting the letters in their names as she spoke. Wanda gave Agatha a funny look, unconvinced by her cheerful demeanor after witnessing her failed escape attempt just moments prior. Instead of returning her greeting she dropped her attention to Nicky, giving Agatha some time to knuckle discreetly at her nose. A few soft sniffles helped to shift the building congestion, eliminating the imminent threat of upper lip leakage, but it also tickled — not enough to make anything happen, but enough to distract and irritate her during a situation that was already distracting and irritating.

She refocused on the conversation unfolding in front of her. Nicky was regaling Wanda with a recap of his holidays as she listened and responded with warmth and enthusiasm. She had always been so good with him, never letting what happened between her and Agatha affect their interactions. When Agatha caught her lips relaxing into a genuine smile she quickly refashioned her expression into one of polite disinterest, pretending to peruse the sour cream options.

“And how have you been?” came the dreaded question as Wanda turned to Agatha, who had been holding onto hope that maybe she had passively discovered the ability to turn invisible in the last thirty seconds. No such luck. “How is Rio? Did you enjoy the holidays?”

“I’m good, she’s good, holidays were good.” Though it had been her intention to rush the conversation to a premature conclusion, Agatha cringed as she found herself continuing to speak. “How are the twins?”

Just as Wanda adored Nicky unconditionally, Agatha had a soft spot for her boys that hadn’t hardened despite her history with their mother. While her interest in their wellbeing was genuine, her desire to get back home to the stuffy, germy apartment that felt like a prison just this morning was even stronger. It didn’t help that she could feel that little tickle from earlier slowly gaining strength. She could also sense that Wanda was studying her, sage green eyes flickering almost imperceptibly as they moved about her face. They seemed to linger longest on her nose, no doubt taking in the visible damage wrought by days of illness — sore, chapped nostrils on the verge of running, rims tinged a semi-permanent shade of red. Agatha shuddered to think what the overhead fluorescents were doing to her complexion and smoothed her hand over her hair a few times, certain she must look an absolute wreck.

“Well…” Wanda said before pausing, as if giving Agatha an opportunity to withdraw her question. When she didn’t take it Wanda eyed her suspiciously before continuing. “They’re doing pretty well. Tommy has really been loving school this year, and Billy, you know, he’s always loved school, but he’s got this new—”

Agatha had been trying so hard to focus and keep a lid on the nonsense her body was brewing, but she couldn’t stop a gasp from slipping out. A few more shaky breaths followed, tumbling rocks loosened by the first pebble to break free. A landslide was coming — Agatha could feel it, and she wanted nothing more to be sequestered in the relative privacy of her car, music turned up as loudly as Nicky could tolerate so she didn’t have to listen to herself when it hit. As her eyes fluttered shut she could see Wanda actually stepping towards her, expression creased with concern.

“Hey, are you—”

“H’hehh!—hold od,” Agatha warned, taking an unsteady step backwards. She forced out a flustered explanation with what little vocal control she had left, hoping to deter Wanda from coming any closer. “I’be—h’hiih—s-sorry, juhhst ndeed a sehehh!-secodd…”

Gripping the base of her nose, she crushed her nostrils between her thumb and forefinger and quietly strangled a pair of sneezes to death. The only evidence they ever existed was the wavering sigh she let out afterwards, like she was dumping the bodies.

“Bless!” Wanda chirped, even as Agatha shook her head, bottom lip quivering, clearly in need of more.

“I’be — h’huhh!” she gasped, releasing her nose to cover it with both hands. Fuck fuck fuck.

“She’s not done,” Nicky volunteered helpfully. She and Rio didn’t call him Captain Obvious for nothing.

“I can see that,” Wanda said, laughing as Agatha pitched into her cupped hands, one knee jerking up slightly from the force.

“hehIHSHHhhyoo!” That felt better than stifling, but not by much, and Agatha wasn’t sure if the mess she felt splatter her palms was worth it. Her nostrils stayed flared, the searing agony of an inevitable second locking her face in a pre-sneeze contortion she was determined to keep hidden behind her hands. “hih-hehh!-h’huh… eh-DZSHHhhieww!”

While the first sneeze had been… well… nothing to sneeze at, the second brought an explosion of relief that sent aftershocks rippling through her body. Goosebumps rose along her arms as she bit back a moan. It felt like an inappropriate time to savor the sensation, what with her unwanted company and all.

“Goodness,” Wanda exclaimed, in a way that Agatha feared — but had no evidence to prove — was judgmental.

“What?” She frowned, sniffling as she cautiously lowered her hands. Not as much of a mess as she expected — just very wet — but she wiped her hands on her jeans before she could think of something better to do with them. “You’ve never seen someone sneeze before?”

Not only had she seen someone sneeze before, she had seen Agatha sneeze before — a lot, with even less restraint, and in settings way more intimate than the dairy aisle at Trader Joe’s. Seeing Wanda looking at her like that, Agatha suddenly felt like she was dreaming that she was naked at the grocery store. Digging some crumpled tissues out of her left pocket, she gave her nose a few quick rubs, just enough to make sure she didn’t leave a mess on her face.

“No, it’s just… those didn’t sound so good,” Wanda clarified, her voice infuriatingly tender in a way that made Agatha soften like butter when she was feeling unwell. And she was still feeling unwell — she had no choice but to admit it to herself now, after those last sneezes dragged up all the itchy, drippy misery she thought she would be leaving behind with this year. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Mami and Mama are sick,” Nicky chimed in, before Agatha could concoct a convincing lie.

“I’m mbuch better ndow,” she added quickly, betrayed by the congestion that shifted to replace what she had just sprayed onto her hands. “But Rio’s id pretty rough shape, so we should probably get back with the goods. It was so ndice seeing you. I hope we cad do this againd. Let’s say the Walbart baking aisle, sabe tibe ndext year?”

“No New Year’s Eve plans?” Wanda asked, blowing right through the bullshit to get straight to the point. It was the only way to have a productive conversation with someone as chronically unserious as Agatha Harkness. “I can’t imagine you’d have much fun going out with that cold.”

Agatha knew she was quickly losing steam when she didn’t jump to challenge her comment. It would have been wasted energy to reassert a lie that Wanda clearly didn’t believe the first time. All Agatha had the energy to do right now was stare back at the her expectantly, tiredly, wondering where she was going with this.

“If you and Rio would like some time to yourselves, the boys and I are having a little New Year’s Eve shindig,” Wanda continued earnestly. “Just some crafts, old TV shows… snacks, of course…” Agatha could only assume those were back at the house, because she certainly didn’t see any in her shopping cart. “The boys each invited a friend from school, and we should be wrapping up at 10:30, so you can still be together at midnight. I know Billy and Tommy would love to see Nicky and introduce him to their friends. They ask about you all the time, you know.”

She directed the last statement at Nicky. It was a dirty trick — his face lit up so brightly that Agatha knew she wouldn’t be able to say no to him.

“I, ah…” She stalled as Nicky turned to look up at her, his eyes wide and hopeful. He was bouncing on his heels, the bottoms of his shoes lighting up green every time they made contact with the floor. “I’ll have to run it by Rio, but… I don’t see why ndot… what do you think, buddy?”

As if his thoughts weren’t already incredibly obvious, he gave an enthusiastic nod of affirmation.

“We’ll have to mbake sure it’s okay with Mbambi,” she reminded him, to his continued bouncing and nodding.

“My number hasn’t changed,” Wanda said. “If you’d like to let me know what you guys—”

“Yeah, definitely.” Agatha thought it was presumptuous of her to assume she still had her number (she did). She waved her away with one hand while the other hovered near her nose, which felt ready to run any second now. “See you around, Mbaximboff.”

Agatha would have hated how congested she sounded had she not stopped caring approximately thirty seconds ago. She was exhausted, she was done being polite, and she was determined to get the fuck out of there. There were still more items on the list that they needed, but she hated the idea of being stuck in a public space when her nose was acting up like this. The chance of losing control completely or running into Wanda again (or both, God forbid) was too great, so Agatha dragged Nicky and their cart straight to the first available self-checkout lane. The previous customer, an older woman with a small dog in her handbag, had just recently vacated the area, leaving behind the faint stench of freesia and peony. Just what the doctor ordered for this fucking cunt of a cold.

Nicky was pestering her about texting Rio, but Agatha was focused on trying to breathe as little of the perfumed air as possible. She thought she was doing a pretty good job until a sharp gasp took her by surprise. Holding it hostage in her lungs, she squashed her nose firmly against the back of her wrist for a moment before easing up and releasing the air in a shaky, frustrated huff. This tickle was both stubborn and infuriatingly impotent, just irritating enough to make her eyes water but too weak to bring about a sneeze without some extra effort on her part — effort she was not willing to exert right now. Lowering her arm, Agatha tossed her hair back with a careful sniff and got back to scanning, eager to bring this little misadventure to an end as quickly as possible.

A couple hundred bucks and three spaced out, tightly controlled, extremely unsatisfying stifles later, she and Nicky were on their way to the car. Agatha tried calling Rio, hanging up before she could be prompted to leave a voicemail. Instead she tapped out a message without looking, alternating between watching Nicky and the other cars as she navigated her cart one-handedly through the parking lot.

Despite the fact that there were plenty of open spaces near the front, some even dedicated to parents with young children, Agatha had parked at the other end of the lot to avoid other cars (and people). It was a decision she was starting to regret as the cold wind battered her face like it had a personal vendetta. Her phone vibrated and she squinted at the screen, shaking her head back and forth to keep her hair out of her eyes.

Agatha had to refrain from tossing her phone into the nearest pothole. As if sensing her reaction from miles away, Rio followed up with a quick apology.

It was starting to feel like too much at once — the rapidfire replies, trying to craft her own response with her non-dominant hand while pushing a heavy, wonky-wheeled cart with her left, Nicky asking again if she had spoken with Rio about the party, all while the wind whipped her hair around her face and her nose — her fucking nose, forever the bane of her existence, somehow numb and runny and unbearably itchy all at once. Shoving her phone into her pocket, she poured her focus into getting herself and her son to the car in one piece as flurries began to fall. Only after securing him in his carseat and closing the door did she allow herself to lose it completely.

“IHSHHhh’oo!” She sneezed with abandon towards the pavement, staggering into the empty space beside her car. Pulling her jacket sleeves over her hands, Agatha buried her nose in the fabric just in time to catch the next outburst. “hh’EFSHHHhieww—hnng, fuck…”

It always felt a little better to sneeze into something soft, especially with her nose in such a delicate state. She could feel it running against her sleeves and used them to swipe away as much of the mess as she could in one go. The wind chilled her through her jacket as she let out a congested moan of self pity. It felt like such a waste, to endure this suffering when Rio wasn’t even around to enjoy it.

But someone else was.

Upon hearing laughter in the distance Agatha glanced up, bristling, to find Wanda smiling at her from across the lot. She was walking towards a red Volkswagen Tiguan from the direction of the nearest cart corral, where she had no doubt completed the socially expected and considerate task of returning her shopping cart. Apparently she had the same idea about parking far from the entrance, but knowing Wanda it was probably for health reasons and not the misanthropy that fueled most of Agatha’s behavior.

“Egészségedre!” she shouted cheerfully over the winds, before turning her hand into an old phone and holding it up to her face. “Call me, Agatha! I mean it!”

With one last wave she vanished into her car and drove off, leaving Agatha alone with that naked feeling again. The wind stung her face, making her eyes water and her nostrils prickle, but she waited until Wanda was completely out of sight to explode with a “hh’AHSHhew!” towards the vacant parking space beside her. The sneeze sounded just as much a curse word as the biting “Fuck!” that followed it. Shaking her head, she flung open the trunk and started stacking the bags haphazardly, stopping occasionally to blot her streaming nose against her sleeves. Once all the bags were loaded Agatha had a horrifying realization.

She forgot the fucking tissues.

Their household was in desperate need, but the parking lot stretched out before her like a vast black ocean full of unknowns. There was no way she was hauling herself and Nicky all the way back inside; she hadn’t even intended to go as far as the cart corral to return her shopping cart. Brushing snowflakes out of her hair, she slid into the driver’s seat and just sat for a bit. The warm air from the car vents felt good on her face, but made her sneeze twice in quick succession as she pulled out her phone to tap out a message to Rio.

❄️ ❄️ ❄️

When Rio arrived home it was with champagne in one hand and a tissue box in the other. She also had the handles of a reusable bag looped around her wrist — knowing Rio, Agatha could only assume it contained gas station snacks, blunt wraps, and enough cough medicine to subdue a miniature horse.

“Let’s party,” she said, rattling her findings for emphasis.

Nicky flung his action figure to the floor with a shriek and ran towards Rio, who quickly dropped the non-breakable items so she could scoop him up in a one-armed hug. Agatha took off her glasses and closed her book, rubbing at the spot between her eyes where she could feel some tension building.

“Mami!”

“Hey, conejito,” she said, smiling at Agatha over the top of his head. Agatha lifted the corners of her mouth in response, but the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I missed you guys so much.”

“Mama and I saw Miss Wanda today!”

Agatha loved that kid more than life itself, but he had terrible timing. If she had to talk about it — and she did have to talk about it — she wouldn’t have chosen to do so within thirty seconds of Rio walking through the door.

“Wanda?” Rio repeated, talking to Agatha now. Other than the faintest flare of her nostrils, which could have been due to any number of things, her expression was neutral. “Maximoff?”

“Do you know any other Wandas?” Agatha asked dryly.

“We saw her at the store!” Nicky said, oblivious to the growing tension in the room. They had gotten really good at hiding it from him over the years. “Can I go to the party?”

“What party?”

Another question for Agatha, who responded with a shrug and a pointed effort to avoid eye contact with the asker.

“Mama!” Nicky turned around to face her, the look of betrayal on his face making her feel worse than she already did. “You said you would ask!”

“Mi corazón,” Rio said, her soft tone grounding him as she guided him towards the hallway. “Why don’t you go play in your room while I talk with Mama about the party? We’ll come get you when we’re done and you can tell me all about your day.”

Agatha took that as her cue to get up and take care of those dishes she had been leaving until the last minute. Rio hated going into the new year with a dirty house, and Agatha had planned to clean a lot more before falling into a useless pile of sickness and depression on the couch. Seeing Wanda had really thrown off her whole day, and it didn’t help that the cold she smugly thought she had kicked in record time was still going strong. On top of it she felt hot and uncomfortable, though she couldn’t tell if it was from the water scalding her hands, the fever she had been spiking on and off for two days, or the thought of an impending confrontation with Rio.

She could sense her presence in the doorway — even at her quietest, Agatha could always feel when she was there. Her heart pounded as she waited for Rio to say something, but it was a pair of unexpected sneezes, not words, that shattered the silence.

“ATCHH’ue! huh’ASHHhh-oo!”

Agatha dropped the plastic cup she had been rinsing with a startled curse. As annoying as it was to jump out of her skin whenever Rio sneezed without warning, she felt a little pang of sympathy when she thought about how shitty she might be feeling, especially if she had a busy day back to work. Rio rushed to apologize.

“Shit, I’be so sorry. I did’t mbean to scare you.”

Agatha said nothing, simply picked the cup back up and resumed scrubbing it furiously. After a moment she felt Rio right behind her, close but not touching, filling the space between them with a comfortable warmth. Familiar fingers began to comb through the ends of her hair, gently detangling the knots that had formed there during a short and restless nap on the couch. Just as Agatha was softening into the touch it ceased as suddenly as it began, leaving her scalp tingling for more.

“Ahhg,“ Rio warned. “I’be godda sdee… huh! sdeeze.”

“I know.” Agatha had anticipated it — she rarely stopped at just two. “It’s okay.”

“huhh… hh’ATSHhoo! ESHHh’ue! huhh’IHH! huh… hah’TCH!—uh…”

Not only were the first two muffled, like Rio had covered them with her hands, but it sounded like she attempted to stifle the third one. She must have also taken a few steps back, because Agatha didn’t feel her presence right behind her anymore. All of this made a significant difference in the volume (sound-wise and spray-wise), which Agatha appreciated after feeling overstimulated for most of the day.

“Bless you,” she said as Rio sniffled, a thick, gurgling sound.

“Ugh, fidally.” Agatha could hear her voice traveling to the other end of the kitchen. “Those have bed drivi’g mbe crazy sidz I left work.”

At the sound of paper towels ripping Agatha glanced over her shoulder, looking at Rio for the first time since she entered the room. She stood poised with a cluster of them against her nose, her eyebrows raised in confusion as Agatha fired off what sounded more like an accusation than a question.

“Didn’t you just buy more tissues?”

“Yeah.” Rio stopped to blow her nose, then pinched away the mess with a wince before tossing the towels into the trash can. “I’m saving them for you.”

She returned to Agatha, wrapping her arms around her waist and resting her chin on her shoulder. Agatha tensed up, suddenly feeling sick in a different way. It wasn’t because of her touch — on the contrary, she had been craving to be held like this since Rio left for work — but because she knew she didn’t deserve it. She didn’t deserve Rio. Nobody did, but least of all her. Part of her wanted to crawl out of her arms, go lie alone in the darkness somewhere like an animal waiting to die, but Agatha didn’t have the willpower to leave an embrace that felt so much like home.

“Don’t need them anymore,” she said tersely, tossing some utensils onto the drying rack with a clatter. “Feeling much better. They’re all yours.”

“Pretty sure you said we needed tissues. We.”

“Must've been another typo.” Agatha sniffled, annoyed that her nose chose this particular moment to start running again. “I had a lot going od today.”

“Mm,” Rio hummed. “So I heard.”

Agatha thought she could detect some acidity in her tone, but the way she started pressing kisses along her jawline was so sweet and soft she wondered if she was imagining things. She tensed again when she felt Rio pull back, expecting more sneezes. Instead she voiced her concern, which was even more annoying.

“My love, you’re warm,” she said. “Like, really warm.”

Agatha was prepared to blame the hot water, but when she opened her mouth all that came out was a stuttering gasp that seemed to surprise them both. Normally she had more warning before the sneezing started, but the whole process became annoyingly unpredictable whenever she had a cold. The sensation was sneakier, popping up loudly without notice, or sustaining itself at a level just irritating enough to keep her on edge while only teasing at the possibility of relief. Her typical pattern of two sneezes could range anywhere from almost one to what felt like a hundred off the same tickle in the span of ten minutes. She never thought to keep count, but it wouldn’t surprise her if Rio did.

Before she could even think of how to handle the current situation Rio was handling it for her, cupping her hand over her nose and drawing herself closer so she could serve as a stabilizing force. Agatha held her own hands uselessly above the sink, resisting the urge to knock Rio’s hand aside so she could grab her nose and stifle; she wasn’t particularly in the mood to get a face full of soap suds on top of everything else. Her breath hitched uneasily, then stalled altogether as she grappled with the discomfort of allowing herself to be this vulnerable with someone.

Not someone. Rio.

“It’s okay,” Rio said softly, as if sensing her hesitation. “I got you.”

Agatha surrendered in increments, her desperation finally outpacing her reluctance. Some of her breaths were so vocal and needy they sounded more like moans, a fact that made her face burn so hot she was afraid Rio might say something. When it became obvious she wasn’t going to sneeze right away, Rio lowered her hand slightly, giving her more space to breathe. Frustrated, Agatha wondered why she was suddenly working so hard for a sneeze that had been so eager to fly out without provocation just moments earlier. There were some tricks she could try to get it moving along, but only one that was guaranteed to work everytime. It also happened to be the least dignified of the options.

“It’s — h’huhh! — it’s s-stuck,” she stuttered, scrunching her nose as she pressed it into Rio’s waiting hand.

Agatha hated how desperate she sounded, but she was desperate. She only ever volunteered that information if she wanted help doing something about it, and Rio knew that.

“Well, can you blame it?” she teased, allowing Agatha to rub her nose back and forth against her palm. “With the way you murder your sneezes…”

“Wh-whose side are you od?”

“Justice.”

Smirking, Rio uncurled her hand so she could gently scrape a fingernail along the contours of Agatha’s nose. The light strokes ignited little sparks here and there, but nothing catching until she grazed her left nostril. It was here that Agatha gasped sharply, which Rio seemed to take as permission to devote more attention to the area. Somehow she always seemed to know which side was giving her more trouble and just how to handle it. It was a strange kind of intimacy Agatha had never imagined sharing with another person, especially since she had a hard enough time being intimate in “normal” ways.

“Aqui,” Rio said, tracing her finger around the quivering circumference of her nostril. “Adelante, mi vida.”

Agatha could feel her lungs aching for relief as air rushed to fill them. At this point she was gripping onto the edge of the sink, soapy water dripping down her arms onto the kitchen mat. She was vaguely aware of the fact that Rio was stroking her other hand up and down her hip in a steady, soothing motion. Tilting her head back, Agatha felt her hand follow, then pitched into it with a pair of sneezes.

“ISHHHhyu-ISHHhoo!”

“Bless—”

“eh’Hh-ESHHHhoo!”

“Bless you!” Rio planted a kiss on her shoulder as she sagged over the sink, then waited a moment, keeping her hand in place in case there were more. Agatha sniffled against it and groaned, the noises soft and muffled behind her hand. “Seems like you might need those tissues after all.”

Those sneezes left Agatha so drained she surrendered without a fight, leaving the remaining dishes for another time as Rio steered her away from the sink. She dried her hands, blew her nose, and drank some water, ushered through the process by her very patient wife. By the time she was done she was melting into the couch, ready for another nap, having finally forgotten about whatever it was that had her feeling so anxious in the first place. It was then that Rio spoke, her reminder like a bucket of cold water to the face.

“So…” she said, giving off that weird energy she put out whenever she was asking a question she didn’t want to ask, but needed to know the answer to. “You saw Wanda today?”

“She was at the store,” Agatha said, feeling uncomfortably hot again. “I had Nicky, Rio, I wouldn’t have… I mean, I wouldn’t have—”

“Hey,” Rio interjected, easing onto the couch beside her. “I’m not suggesting anything. I was just curious, since Nicky had mentioned it. What’s this party he’s so amped up about?”

“Wanda—” Agatha interrupted herself to cough, as if the very act of speaking that name was causing her to have a physical reaction. “S’cuse mbe, Wandahh… huh!”

Her eyes narrowed as she turned away, nose wrinkling, but not before she caught a glimpse of Rio looking mildly annoyed. Agatha had never seen her respond to her sneezing that way in the history of their relationship, unless she was attempting to stifle, but this felt different from that. It was so unexpected it almost scared the sneeze away.

Almost.

“EH’TCHshhiu!”

She caught the brunt of the spray against her closed fist, then left it pressed against her nose in anticipation of a second sneeze. Her breath hitched once, expression drawn tight with irritation, but then the sneeze just sort of… vanished. Agatha released the unused air in a long, weary sigh, hoping to effectively convey just how over this whole being sick thing she was. As she grabbed more tissues she glanced over to find Rio watching her with a shocking level of nonchalance. Her indifference was even more disconcerting to Agatha than her frustration.

“Is that it?” Rio asked, as if she had just watched a very short and underwhelming play.

“You seeb bothered,” Agatha said, scrunching her nose up as the tissues tickled the sensitive skin. “Ad dot ih-hh-id the way I’be accustubbed to.”

“I am,” Rio admitted. “A little… I—”

When Agatha began blowing her nose Rio closed her eyes, waiting with rapidly withering patience for her to finish. Another sneeze — “ESHHhu!” — and a series of harsh blows later, Agatha glanced up to find Rio regarding her coldly. Her pathetic attempt to sniffle her way through an apology failed to melt her icy gaze.

“I feel like you’re dodging my question,” Rio deadpanned.

“I’be dot dodging eddythig, sweetheart, I’be sdeezig,” Agatha said, trying to show her wife the same patience she somehow always managed to show her. “We saw Wanda at the store, that’s all. She told us about sub party she’s throwig for the kids todight and said Ndicky should cub.”

“Why would she do that?”

“I dote kndow.” Agatha shrugged. “Because our kid’s abazig? She said the boys mbiss him, and I believe her. I think it would be ndice if he could go socialize with his own kind for a bit. He really ndeeds it… hodestly, I think we really ndeed it…”

“What if…” Rio fiddled with a loose thread on the arm of the couch, brow tense and gaze murky. “You don’t think it will confuse him, going over there?”

Agatha hated seeing her so insecure, especially when she knew she was to blame. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe Rio was worried about how this would impact Nicky, but Agatha could tell her concerns extended beyond that to a place they really didn’t need to go. She had nothing to feel insecure about, but Agatha wasn’t sure how to show her that.

“Hey, if it’s…” She cleared her throat, then licked her lips, treading carefully over her wording. “If it’s too weird for you, we—”

“Nothing’s too weird for me,” Rio interjected, almost defensively. “I’m just concerned about Nicky.”

“Okay, well.” Agatha inched her fingers closer to Rio’s until they were just barely touching. “I’m concerned about you. Nicky will survive missing a party. Will you survive him going?”

“You make it sound so dramatic,” Rio scoffed, but Agatha could see the relief in that teary-eyed half-smile she finally gave her. “Of course I’ll survive. If he really wants to go, and you think it’s okay, then I trust you… as long as he’s back home for a kiss at midnight. He’s only going to let us do that for a couple more years, you know.”

“I think we have a while yet,” Agatha said, saying whatever she could to keep that smile on her face. “At least you do. He’s a Mami’s boy.”

“He is,” Rio laughed, then sniffled, grabbing one of the tissues to dab at her eyes. She looked down at their hands, stroking her pinky finger along Agatha’s as she sucked in her lower lip. “My love?”

“Yes?”

“Will you always want to kiss me at midnight?”

“I’ll kiss you anywhere, anytime, always,” Agatha declared, leaning in to press her lips to the rising corner of her mouth. “In fact, there’s a few places I’d like to kiss you later…”

“Mm.” Rio shivered as Agatha moved her lips down her neck. “How early we can drop Nicky off?”

[bizarrebazaar13]

what if your doppelgänger wasn’t evil it was just a person. what if your doppelgänger wasn’t trying to replace you it was just trying to learn to be a person and you were the best model it had. what if your doppelgänger looked at you with your eyes and said with your voice that it just wanted to be loved. what then.

[pkaykim]

Valentines gift for my girlfriend

Please don’t repost on other platforms!

[humming-fly]

was thinking about that one blind professor post earlier today and how well it applied to the aptly named Team Dark

(really 'Team Dark' just sounds a lot cooler than 'Team Saves-On-Electricity')

[kenapiece-main]

Can you believe I'm having to make this meme even after successfully finishing up taxes and applying to job

[riacte]

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

[inkskinned]

it's extremely critical that you see the photo of the perp walk for luigi mangione as being propaganda. i've seen so many people wave it off and instead fawn over his looks. and trust me, i know it ended up being kind of pathetic and weird - but please don't brush it off as a "modelling opportunity" for him. it's a fucking terrifying message the police are sending.

i want to make a few comparisons here, in case you're not from the US or familiar with why the perp walk thing is something to pay attention to. just to set the groundwork for why this is a purposeful, unusual, and cruel act by the nyc police - for why this is not a common occurrence and for why that matters.

the prosecution alleges the show of force is due to the charge of "terrorism." for comparison, in june 2015, tsarnaev was found guilty for the boston marathon bombing, which killed 3 people and injured hundreds. his actions are considered to be an act of domestic terrorism. i have spent the last hour looking through google for pictures of similar to mangione's perp walk - and so far, i have found zero. i also just do not personally remember a moment like that, despite living in boston at the time.

they allege that luigi is a stone-cold killer who carried out a longterm plan, making him particularly dangerous. again for comparison: in nyc, recently cory martin was found guilty of the killing of brandy odom. the murder was planned and premeditated to steal insurance money. and yet no staged perp walk. why didn't her life matter enough for a "show of force"?

but mangione gets paraded by a veritable army of police officers as if he is a rabid animal. for a single citizen who allegedly killed one other single citizen, the "largest perp walk ever" occurs.

so what is the "strong message" that the mayor and the police were trying to send here? the mayor speaks as if mangione is already convicted of terrorism. there is a very thin number of people who feel threatened by the CEO's death. none of us felt like mangione needs to be under massive armed guard.

the message is that you shouldn't resist. they are trying to "make an example" of him - that if you behave badly and kill a single rich person, you'll be treated as if you killed hundreds of people. you will be treated worse than a man who was found guilty of terrorism. you will be considered guilty without trial. the message is that the rich are a protected class, and you cannot touch them without massive punishment. they are trying to prevent a revolution by showing dominance and force against you.

the message is that the police are a puppet of the wealthy and that the law is not equally applied across class disparity. it is "some are more equal than others." it is "one life is more precious than another."

the show of force wasn't for luigi. it was for us. it was a warning. they are trying to remind us who is really in control.

[kiryuing]

[modmad]

hey! there's zero esims left for the connecting gaza campaign as of today. i remember you promoting them earlier. could you give them a much needed boost?

oh dang! unfamiliar with that particular campaign, as I always donate via crips for e-sims because it's super easy to do, but regardless let's go people!

[chiptrillino-art]

(ID in ALT text)

"got your nose"

[emjaydoubleyou]

this post is fearmongering. the results of this study are concerning and should definitely be a matter of public discussion, but this is certainly not the conclusion the researchers came to.

the point of the study was to assess the risks of exposure to toxic metals- something one of the co-authors notes are “ubiquitous” fwiw- via menstrual products. Their research confirmed that these metals are indeed present in tampons, but no further conclusions are drawn. it is possible the metal entered into the cotton from the soil, which is a well-known phenomenon; cotton is so good at lifting heavy metals that it has actually been suggested as a part of the solution for revitalizing polluted ground.

the authors conclude with an acknowledgement that the study should be repeated- their sample size was 60 tampons- and a suggestion that further testing ought to be done to indicate whether or not these metals can even leech out of the tampon in the first place, let alone whether or not such leeching could occur at levels deleterious to human health.

there is, in fact, a body of research- too small, for sure, but much larger than this single study- indicating that long-term proper tampon use has no observable negative impact on health. i am grateful and thrilled that more research is being done and i hope that this study is the first of many on this line of questioning, but i am really frustrated at this post and the response it got.

obviously, if this study alters your approach to menstrual health, more power to you. consumers should be informed-risk-takers, and menstrual health is double-obviously a very personal choice. but it definitely wasn't the researchers concluding that you ought to “avoid using tampons at all cost," only this tumblr user did. the lead author of the paper, in fact, specifically says that she hopes people do NOT panic about the results.

(the notes of the post were disappointing. people affirming that they knew they were right to be suspicious of tampons all along, or even recommending alternatives that actually have very little to no research regarding the safety of long-term use, etc. it’s a different conversation, but categorical distrust of tampons is old-school misogyny. you certainly shouldn't wear them if you don’t want to, but there is nothing inherently scary or wrong about them, and people who prefer them are not being reckless or crass.)

((if you're really worried about exposure to heavy metals, you may want to turn a critical eye to fast fashion, as an aside))

[hotcinnamonsunset]

The Tiger (from the poem by Nael, age 6)🐅

[evgar]

i need them badly

[wishfulsketching]

More of the Silco survives AU! This is part three. Part 1 and Part 2

The girls learn the truth and Silco gets a taste of a monster

[notrobinsomethingworse]

Dick, holding Wally’s hand while they lie in bed: God I love this bed. God I love this house. And you. Especially you.

Voice: How domestic.

Wally: God?

Damian in his Robin suit, holding his bleeding side: No. It’s me. May one of you please direct me to the nearest medical kit.

[Frantic scrambling]