#anyway having van thoughts but what else is new lol

[teabookgremlin]

thinking about how someone pointed out that van usually wore her hair tied back before the wolf attack but always wears it down after it

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

i love when the subject of modern au for the arcana comes up cause my only metric of judgement for it is What are you gonna do with Muriel. is he still. you know. practically homeless

cause it can be done well i believe it!! but i mean its interesting to me cause theres so many um. cultural differences i guess i can call it, and ramifications and implications and fucking more thesaurus words we get it to consider in comparing our "everyone has to have a document about *Everything*, whats your assigned number at birth, let me record you with 50 cameras at all times just in case, gimme your PapERS HOW OLD ARE YOU WHATS YOUR GRANDMAS MAIDEN NAME NO IM NOT SELLING YOU THIS CARTON OF EGGS UNTIL YOU TELL ME" society (Admittedly! not every single place in the world today is like this necessarily!!! so you can just put them someplace else and work from there!!! but youd have to know how life there actually looks like And also wait whats the point of this au if everything ends up the same lmao i wanted asra to have tiktok and work at starbucks what are we doing here) vs the old timey fantasy world presented in the game where its just "yeah sure you can go live in a forest theres no fences here lol bye dont get dysentery" which is how the world used to be i guess and thats so fun to ponder for me lol we really were just monkeys fucking about with sticks huh. good times

man this is why i dont actually write fanfics i get too lost in four different trains of thought and dont finish any of them lmao and i guess also cause of the "i Cant POSSIBLY write this story about kissing a dude if i cant describe the sociopolitical climate in this neighbourhood in the netherlands after the Batavian Rebellion and how it influenced the contemporaneous fauvistic arT MOVEMENT with UTMOST ACCURACY cause THATS WHAT HIS FAVOURITE PAINTING WAS THE ONE THAT SHOWS UP IN THIS THREE SECOND BLURRY BACKGROUND CLIP OF THIS SCENE IN HIS APARTMENT AND IS CRUCIAL TO HIS CHARACTER AND I HAVE TO NAIL IT WHAT DONT YOU GET" type personality i got going which i guess writers deal with by just going full "lol whatever i am god here and i make law" mode

i just started thinking about this cause of the new story on dorian in a modern au i got pretty hype about it teehee but yeah muriel hasnt shown up yet so i got into that whole spiral about wHERE ARE THEY GONNA PUT ME BOYE AAAGJHFN i hope he gets a good outfit lmao i love jules' vibe but i looked at asra n went aw Hell naw hed be way better dripped out you done my boy dirty cmon man. pashas hawaiian shirt tho fucking we're so back lets go lesbians hkdyyifulj Anyway they made lucio a wholeass bilionaire which had me shook a lil for some reason but i can see him as a total ~Musk-esque~ archetype lmaooo like that is literally so him, just barges in and makes people have good ideas for him gikgststnv oh god i hope theres not any elon fans reading this cause theyre not gonna appreciate that oh fudge ok lets get back to the point which was uuuuhhhhhhhhhh oh yeah i liked your muriel lives in a van concept i thought its good! yeah thats what i wanted to say. what a tumultuous journey i just had to invent to arrive here.

Oh yeah, I've been seeing a lot more posts and questions about the arcana's modern au, and it's why I was so happy to dig up all those old ask arcana posts! I'm so glad we have all that canon content from way back when, it was so sad that I could only put ten images in one post T~T

And Muriel definitely lives off the grid - I also remember another ask arcana that said in modern times he'd wear a cable knit sweater on top and leather pants and demonias on bottom and that works so well for him XD

Here's the screenshots since the links haven't been working:

[heragoals]

~The Madame Blanc Mysteries oc, wahoo~

Welp, I’ve not posted here in a hot minute. But as I’ve been feeling like a trash can, I decided to make a new oc as nothing else makes me happy ~yay~.

So basically, I really enjoy a series called The Madame Blanc Mysteries which is about a very knowledgeable antiques dealer called Jean White who also shares a business with her husband. She then finds out her husband isn’t all that he seems to be and when he visited France to look at unique antiques (woohoo, I rhymed) he was also having an affair. He gets murd- I MEAN DIES in an accident inside his van and Jean has to go to France to claim his belongings from on his person and inside the van. That’s when she knows that something is wrong. The ring box where he showed her a very expensive ruby ring, was missing… Fast forward, thanks to her knowledge she also helps out the police force solve crimes with her knowledge and knack for finding hidden things. Anyway, the police officer who she helps out is kind of monotone and very professional, he doesn’t like to speak about his personal life too much unless he is asked. This is who often asks for assistance from Jean during a case. He DID have a wife… but as spouses love to find themselves murdered in this show, she is found stabbed when he comes back from a walk after an argument with her. Let’s just say she was a huge biatch- but he still loved her in his own way, just couldn’t really live with it anymore, so they had filed for divorce. This came to light AFTER her murder… and he basically got arrested. But thanks to Jean, he got out and the real killer was found.

Okay so that’s about the show as I don’t think anyone will really know about it outside of the UK at least, which is unfortunate because it’s so good. 😭

SO ABOUT MY CHARACTER CALLED ‘Reine’ which means “queen” in French. I haven’t thought of a last name yet but that’s her first anyway. Half way there. 🤩 This name immediately caught my attention but then I realised that the police officer’s wife was called Sara, which means “princess” in French. So I thought that this name would fit well because let’s just say they’re going to get on a lot better than he did with Sara, ew. ��

So enough of me blabbing as usual… This is Reine! She is a 24 year old prima ballerina, who is quite famous, but is known to like keeping out of the limelight. Alongside being a ballerina… she is also a prostitute because no matter how much money she makes as being a ballerina, it is never enough to care for her sick mother who she so desperately loves. So she does what she has to do to get the right care for her. Her mother doesn’t know of course, because she knows if she did, it would hurt her deeply.

Fast forward to when she meets Jean, her partner I think by now lol, Dom and the officer Caron. Basically she has a very brazen and dry sense of humour. If she wants to say something, she’ll say it. Even if it comes across as offensive in some way. She’s also quite flirty when she talks, but doesn’t cross the mark in people who aren’t interested. They meet because her ballerina teacher got murdered, who let’s say, was pretty awful. So you can imagine how many people wanted to kill her… She gets interviewed and when she is let go and Jean and the others are still hanging around, she notices something, quite out of the ordinary. Jean is shocked she noticed something like this and Reine asks if she can also assist. Caron agrees although he keeps an eye on her. Together, they find out who the murderer is, and along the way, she even got Caron to laugh, and wow, now that’s something you don’t see everyday. Reine decides that this life isn’t worth it, so due to her interest in old, interesting trinkets and objects that have many stories to tell, Jean takes her on as her apprentice in the store she owns with Charlie.

That’s about it I have for now. But basically Caron picks up on things going on. (This takes place during the teacher investigation) and even sees a man threaten her and go to hit her, but he jumps in before it goes too far. This is when she can’t believe she is going to tell an officer but just pours out and tells him it all. For once, she isn’t judged but understood, which has never happened before. She ends up becoming a good friend of his as she isn’t used to people being too kind to her, and he is happy to have her tag along as she has an intuition about people that not many people pick up on, plus, she makes him laugh. And what’s better than that?

Thank you greatly for taking your time to read this, if anyone has done, hehe!

^ This gorgeous costume sketch of Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra helped me to draw the pose and also gave me the idea of the cloth. So thank you, immensely talented sketch. 🙏

[dbmars]

Bram Stoker's Hannibal Chapters 74, 75, and 76

I DID IT.

We have, at last, reached THE MOMENT we've all been waiting for.

This moment:

I wrote all the way up to this moment and then slowly edited and released chapters just to make sure I covered everything I wanted to cover. Normally I just write a chapter, edit it, post it, move on. But I wanted to be extra careful that I didn't miss anything I wanted to include.

Chapter 74:

It's a Bottom Hanni chapter! Now, I know the top/bottom debate is always a thing, but I'm a firm believer in Bryan's designation that they switch. Normally I prefer to write bottom Will, but I also fully believe that Hannibal is a hedonist and would do anything that feels good, like getting railed by his mongoose. Also fun fact, being a vampire means you don't have to do much prep for anal because you don't eat food, and the immortal body can withstand plenty of abuse. So we do have some steamy bottom Hanni action in this chapter, as Will seems to search his lover's body for any evidence of... what exactly?

(I found this on pinterest, if you know the creator lmk this is perfection -- it has actually MAJOR Iliya and Hannibal vibes more than Will and Han)

Oh hey little known fact: Lenore from the brothel? It's Molly Shannon's character, the woman who collected "Lost Boys." Now she collects lost sex workers to make her perfect family of high-class courtesans. I didn't delve too much into this side story because hey, news flash, THIS FIC IS REALLY FUCKING LONG. But now you know who I was envisioning:

Chapter 75:

If you google Hetienne Park cowboy hat this is what you get:

Howdy partner!

Hetienne Park as Beverly Katz as Quincey Morris!

Anyway, Jack Van Crawford asks everyone to continue to help him in his mysterious quest, which is about to take an even darker turn. They're headed back to the graveyard to prove once and for all to everyone involved that Alana is UnDead. The gang heads back to Highgate and runs into the "bloofer lady" that's been kidnapping children and biting their necks...

I made this just for y'all. It's my attempt at photo manip LOL I know I'm not that good at it.

Now that they know Alana's undead, what's Jack Crawford's Scooby Gang to do?

Meanwhile, Hannibal and his wolf pack murder the zookeeper at the London Zoological gardens, who happens to be the Clark Ingram character. I didn't make him a serial killer in this AU, just a guy who likes to torture animals. I've always seen him as the anti-Peter Bernadone, who cares so deeply for every life large and small. So I thought it made sense to cast this motherfucker as the kind of guy who would beat caged wolves on the head with a wooden pole to make them compliant.

Seriously, fuck this guy.

Fun behind the scenes facts: The London Zoological Gardens were established as a place for the scientific study of animals, and to move the menagerie of creatures out of the Tower of London where they'd been kept since the 1100s. The Tower of London is haunted by the ghost of a bear that had been kept there.

Here are some time period pics from the zoo. You can see, of course, why the wolves begged Hannibal to help them escape.

All right, that's it for now! Here's a SMUTTY SIGN-OFF:

He has me pinned against the pillows and the headboard, my body rolling upward as he thrusts into me at an unrelenting pace, sweat gathering on his brow and dripping through his hair. His face is next to mine, buried against my cheek and the curve of my neck, panting and grunting in a lovely, beastial way. If I were human, I’d have to imagine this would hurt tremendously. It brings only the tiniest sensation of intimate pain, and I thoroughly enjoy it, whispering to him, encouraging him to let himself go. There is something desperate in the way he holds me so tightly, as if he could snap my bones; even after he comes, there is no break in his pace. Yet, the continuation seems more about spending something else besides his emission, and less about my pleasure. Grunting, he circles his hips, the slow grind teasing my inner rise, making me gasp. I touch myself, and he leans back, still rocking my body back and forth. Will puts his hand over mine, looking me in the eye, and a few strokes later I’ve tasted bliss, even as he keeps thrusting. 

XOXO DB

[angel-eyes05]

i remember his hands - preview

PAIRING: kang the conqueror x fem!reader

SUMMARY: after a scientific experiment goes horribly wrong, you've been transported to the quantum realm and have been stuck there for the past decade. with no company, aside from janet van dyne, your life changes forever when a mysterious man in a golden ship crash lands next to your settlement. startled with his initial presence, you two have a rocky start. but as time goes on, you two find each other slowly drawn to one another. you have secrets though, and he has a past he refuses to bring up. can you two make it through navigating an unknown world together, discovering any ulterior motives, and stand the test of time in a place where time has no meaning at all?

INFO: slow romantic burn, pretty fast sexual burn, kinda enemies to lovers????, takes place during that little flashback janet has during quantumania, idk how accurate this is gonna be to canon stuff cause i get very confused about the quantum realm lol, reader is in mid to late 20s while kang is in his “early 30s” (ik he like technically doesn't age or whatever idk the lore but i just made it accurate to jonathan majors age and wanted to give an accurate age range/gap/count), y/k is very fleshed out like i give her everything lol

WARNING: implied su!c!dal thoughts

CHAPTER WORD COUNT: 570

NOTES: hi there!!!! did i make an account just so i could post this? yes, yes i did, and what about it. I was looking for quantumania!kang fics and turns out, theres like 3-4!! so i was like, hey why not. please don't judge my writing cause this is the first fic i’ve written…like ever lol. also, please suspend your disbelief for this, like don’t question why they have working appliances or whatever or that i made up names for the monsters or something, cause 1) idk how to explain that stuff and 2) that's not the main focus sooooo yeah. but, nonetheless, i hope you guys enjoy, if anyone even reads this at all even though this is mainly for my sake lol.

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It’s been ten years. Ten years since it all went wrong and you landed in this wretched place. Ten years since you’ve had a decent meal and been able to sleep soundly without having to worry about the creatures of the quantum realm getting you in the night. It got slightly better around seven years ago when you found Janet Van Dyne, someone who had experience in navigating this strange world. About 30 years of experience in fact. The thought of you being down here for that long made you nauseous. 

Every day was the same. Wake up, check the settlement perimeter, help Janet with breakfast, hunt surrounding mites, occasionally go into town to trade for parts, eat dinner, then go to bed. Thank god Janet was there or else you might’ve gone insane by now. All this repetition was not your style at all.

You missed life up above. You missed going out with your friends. You missed running into people at the grocery store you haven’t seen since elementary school. You missed your yearly trip to New York during Christmas and seeing everything so festive. It sounds pretentious but it was the truth.

But what you missed most of all was San Francisco. It sounds stupid but you loved it there more than anything. You loved how the flowers would bloom during the springtime. You missed feeling the wind through your hair, as aggressive as it would be at times. You missed going to the beaches. Being in the cool water, feeling the sand in between your fingers and toes, being kissed by the sun. God, you missed the sun. Everything was so dark down here. So…hopeless. Thank god Janet was there or you might’ve…

There wasn’t any point in thinking like that anymore. You had accepted life the way it was. It wasn’t like you had a solid plan for making it back home anyways. As much as you did miss it, it wasn’t like the power of hope, love, and friendship would make a quantum tunnel appear out of thin air. Even if you could find someone selling the necessary pieces to power the tunnel, they would probably be listing it at way too high of a price for you to apprehend it. So for now, and probably for the rest of your life (however long of that left you had, time was strange down here), all the good you can do is try to protect yourself, keep Janet company, and stare at the stars, or whatever you wanted to call them. 

That's exactly what you decided to do before heading off to bed. After checking the surroundings of the settlement for mites, you sat next to the closest thing you could call a creek and just stared up at the engulfing darkness. The tranquility this activity brought you allowed you to sleep soundlessly, without an unknown creature coming out of the shadows to attack you. While staring up at the twinkling lights, you see one of them in the distance that appears to be moving closer to you. As it gets closer, you can make it out as a circular, golden ship. It crash lands about 300 feet away, causing the earth around you to shake. Curiosity takes over you as you decide to start heading over to the crash sight, unaware about how much the repetition of your life you always complained about was about to dissolve.

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NEXT PART

A/N: hiiiiii, so that was the quick little preview, i hope you liked it. i’m gonna be honest im very nervous about posting this lol 😭. but i hope you enjoyed it. chapter 1 should come out shortly after i post this so i hope you’ll stick around for the rest of the series!!!

[taivansupremacy]

You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else

Summary: Taissa doesn't care about having the perfect love story and going on dates. She's afraid something is broken within her. (A Taissa character study pre-crash and pre-taivan)

A/N: so... i pumped this out real quickly lol i chose taylor lyrics again to link it to my Van character study. Read Van's character study here!

Taissa never understood what the big deal about dates and crushes were. As a child, her parents read her stories of happily ever afters and of princes saving princesses, but unlike her classmates, she wasn’t sure she even wanted a prince. The idea of being saved didn’t ever sound appealing to her, even as a child, so when her friends all wanted to play princesses, she volunteered herself as a prince so she wouldn’t have to be the damsel in distress. It felt so good to be the saver instead of the saved, until some of her other classmates caught on and told her exactly why she shouldn’t be playing the prince. 

Even in middle and high school, Taissa was never bothered when she didn’t get asked to dances or to go on dates on the weekends. In fact, she was more bothered when she did get asked. She went on a date with a boy in 8th grade, just because all of her friends were giving her shit for being the last one to have their first kiss. She felt queasy just thinking about it, like her insides were all twisted up, but she went anyway. When he kissed her in the back of the movie theater, she didn’t hesitate to run for the bathroom and lock herself in a stall. 

She wasn’t sure if she felt like sobbing or throwing up and she was absolutely positive that none of her friends felt this way after having their first kiss. She decided to table that thought for later and call her mom to come get her. She made up a story about feeling sick (it was only a half lie, really) and laid in her bed, staring at the ceiling for the whole night. 

After that, she’d decided that romantic love just must not be for her. She’d lie to her friends about thinking some completely unattainable guy in their grade is cute. She turned down guys that asked her on dates and to dances, making up some excuse about being busy that night or having some kind of soccer thing to attend to. It helped her get by without too many questions, but she often wondered if she was broken. 

She’d started noticing girls in her grade in the way that she thought most of her friends noticed boys when she was in 9th grade. She’d decided they were much better to look at, but only allowed herself short glances. She wasn’t quite ready to deal with what it meant yet, so she pushed those thoughts down when they arose and continued to believe that she was broken, though all her friends told her that her time would come, she just couldn’t bring herself to believe it.

When she moved to Wiskayok HIgh, her problems only seemed to worsen. Being the new girl meant attention, attention from teachers trying to catch her up to speed, girls trying to figure out if she’d be a friend or a threat, and boys trying to scope out the “fresh meat” in the dating pool. So Tai decided to own it. She decided to show these people she now called peers that she was smart, driven, and bold. She spoke up to answer every question that was put out there by her teachers and chose the front seat in every class. She got some sideways looks about it all, but she didn’t care or at least she tried not to look like she cared.  

On her first day of soccer practice, Tai was introduced to the team as they all stood in front of her in a cluster. She’d recognized most of them from some of her classes and could tell who was friends with who just by looking at them. She vaguely remembered seeing one particular redhead, in her English class, maybe? She couldn’t help but notice the way her auburn hair shone in the sunlight and how her freckles dotted her cheeks and arms like stars in the sky. She looked away almost as soon as her eyes settled on her. The two became fast friends when the redhead made some kind of quip about one of the girls on their team being uptight and peppy, Jackie, Taissa thinks was her name. 

They continued to get closer and closer as the season and school year went on. They often went straight from school or practice to get food or sat in Taissa’s bedroom to watch movies and listen to music. They’d show up and leave parties together, pair up for group projects, and lend each other annotated books with their thoughts and feelings scribbled on the pages. 

The only problem was what Taissa was beginning to suspect is a crush. Of course, she’d admired girls in her grade before, but they’d never been girls that had meant anything to her. Most times, she barely uttered a word to the girls that caught her eye. She’d admired them for a second in passing before looking away and most times, she’d never see them again. 

With Van, it was different. She’d gotten to study her inside and out. She knew Van’s favorite movies and why they were her favorite, she knew why she gets physically sick when she looks at peas, and how making mixtapes is her love language. She also knew how her hair looked splayed across her purple pillowcase at sleepovers. She knew how her pale red eyelashes brushed her freckles as she slept and how it felt to lay her head on Van’s chest and shoulder, a warm, freckled arm wrapped around her back. She knew Van intimately, almost as well as she knew herself. 

Van made her feel what she only assumed her classmates felt with the boys they spoke of. She felt a warmth in her chest upon feeling Van’s warm hand in her own, she gets butterflies in her stomach when Van smiles that smile that she pretends is reserved for her, and she loses her breath when Van’s shirt rides up and a patch of pale, freckled skin is revealed. She tried not to think about these things when they occurred. She loved the feelings that Van elicited from her, though she wasn’t quite ready to confront them.

She continued to make up some dumb excuses when boys from school asked her out, but she found herself wishing it were Van asking her instead. She thought that would solve her problems, but she knew the real problem was within her. She wished she was as confident and bold when it came to her feelings for Van as people thought she was with everything else. 

Taissa Turner thought she wasn’t interested in love, that it was overrated and ultimately not in the cards for her. She knows now that love just looks a bit different for her than it does for everyone else. She may not be ready to deal with that now, but she knows she will be one day and she hopes that Van Palmer will be the one to show her what she was missing out on. 

[astrangergivingthestrangewelcome]

For the ask game!

💕 What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

🥳 Why did you start writing fanfic?

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

💕 there are different things I really like about a lot of my fics, but honestly it's Blood Wisdom. Even though I've written 71k (!!) more of the story since Blood Wisdom and I think grown as a writer a lot since then... it's Blood Wisdom. One of the reasons that I started to write Strange Wonders was because I just thought that the ending of Dracula was lackluster. It's fine, but it starts off this Very strong psychological drama between Jonathan and Dracula and the way it ends... You might as well have car chase music playing tbh. Dracula doesn't speak past October 3rd. He's a total non-character in his own climax. It's cool that Jonathan kills him, but you're not in Jonathan's head in anyway... I wanted to end it as a psychological drama between Jonathan and Dracula and it was just really really satisfying to me to write. You know when things are just going great and you're sitting at your laptop and it's like you're in an elevated state of being and your energy is up bc you're writing it and it's like you're in your story and you start to feel the emotions you're writing for your characters? That's really what it was like for me to write Jonathan and Dracula's last verbal exchange. Like there's a line in that story where Mina says that Jonathan left the study in an agitated state and went out for a walk after he wrote his ending, and I included that because I left my living room in an agitated state and took a walk after I wrote that scene as well. I had just the best time.

And even though I would say New Woman has really given me the most valuable practice at adaptational plotting, Blood Wisdom was really the first successful time I had to sit down with a plotting problem and figure out "hey, I need these story beats from this moment. What do I need to do to get myself there?" It was a big moment of proving to myself that I could do that sort of a thing, and even though the story was only under 30k at that point in time it meant a lot to me that I had written a longer story with a beginning, middle and end.

🥳 The year was 2010, I was 10 years old and was very guilty telling fanfiction.net that I was 13 years old so that I could read James and Sarah fan fiction for PBS's American Revolution cartoon Liberty's Kids... I decided I wanted to write James and Sarah fanfiction myself and spent an afternoon writing maybe a page before I accidentally deleted everything and never started again because I was so discouraged. The next fanfic I would write and actually publish would be a BBC Sherlock fic in 2016. 🤣

I think my reasons are the same as anyone else's really. I get inspired by fiction and want to fill in the gaps. While this is not true for all of the fanfiction that I've written, I definitely tend to write my best work when I want to see something happen in a story that I don't get to see.

🦈 I've only ever written one scene with Lucy in it but I don't think she'll prove very difficult to write for. The character that I struggled with the most was probably Van Helsing. I know that Uncommon Horrors and the Resilience of the Dawn were in fact supposed to be one fic, but I switched perspective because I was like God damn I can't be in his head 24/7 anymore this is killing me. Just in terms of doing a pastiche of how Stoker has him talk. It's all right when he's just saying dialogue, but when the entire description of everything, dialogue and thought and all that has to be in that style as well... it was challenging. But I do like some of the lines that I wrote as Van Helsing. I am moderately satisfied with the end product but a lot of blood sweat and tears came before it lol.

Thanks friend!

[bucklemonster2]

My Doppelganger (A Story) (Nederlands beneden)

My Doppelganger by Emilia Sameyn

29/04/2024

ENGLISH: (dutch below, nederlands beneden)

Apparently, I have a doppelganger. In fact I had two. So, you know what? I'm gonna tell you about my experiences with doppelgangers. First, in medieval times having a doppelganger was seen as an omen of death. I'm not sure what the logic is behind this. Are you seeing your future self from the 'de''ath realm'? Is it implying that your doppelganger is going to k''ill you and take your place? Anyway, I remember when I first saw someone's doppelganger, besides twins that is.

The first time I saw a doppelganger was when my grandma had recently died. Yet, I saw her,

riding a bus as if nothing ever happened, minding her own business. It was quite confusing, but logically I knew it was just an old woman looking like her. Then later in 2017, I was around 23, I was still living as a cismale (normal man), so I did not look particularly different. I remember a girl looking at me weirdly. She asked me if we knew each-other, and if I was from a certain college. I was a bit confused again, it turned out, she thought I was someone else. I had a doppelganger. Anyway, many years later, I slowly discovered I was a woman (or at least agender). Around 2021 I grew my hair, got bangs/ a fringe haircut and I also coloured my hair.

However sometimes people would honk at me, and wave as if they knew who I was, but I did not know them. I wondered is it because I'm trans, or look different with my coloured hair? In 2023 I went to a rock festival called Alcatraz. I did not stay long, I just wanted to see it,

feel the vibe. I had to admit the music was to loud sometimes, and I understand people complain if they still have loud music after 10 PM. Anyhow, again a girl stared at me,

as if she remembered me, but I did not remember her. Normally, I would have taken this opportunity to get to know someone new, but I must have felt tired, and I did not plan to stay that long. The signs were getting clear, but I was still oblivious.

So months later (actually a month or week ago from now). People honked at me again,

making rock-hand signs as if I was some sort of rock-star. I think I ignored it, I'm all for self-expression, but I hate people that honk without reason, being auti'stic as I am lol.

However the signs were there, do I have a doppelganger?

Anyway a week or so ago I went to a meeting with a bunch of people. I mentioned I'm an artist. I draw, paint, write and make music. I mean maybe my music is terrible, but I make it and I have fun making it. Someone asked if I performed live. I politely said no. I make music using my computer (composing and editing), and honestly I can't play music live, or it would at least sound like a drunk toddler playing with an electric piano.

The dude explained he saw someone that just looked like me, a rock star. Well, rock star, I'm not sure if that person is famous. I'm not even sure if that person is male or female. I look androgynous, and so do many rock artists. I should have asked who that singer was, but I somehow forgot. It was only later that all these little moments came back to me, forming one story. All these people honking and making "rock music hand gestures". No wonder they did this. I have a doppelganger rock star running around! Lol Even though I try to have a unique look, sometimes cute and pink, sometimes dark, (often casual out of comfort). Even though I'm trans and have my hair in 3 different colours. Somehow somebody still looks like me! haha!

PS: I'm not accusing anyone of faking me, or stealing my identity or something. I just happen to have a doppelganger, and therefore I am someone's doppelganger. Its a coincidence, a cionkydink.

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NEDERLANDS DUTCH

Mijn DubbelGanger door Emilia Sameyn 29/04/2024 Blijkbaar heb ik een dubbelganger. Sterker nog, ik had er twee. Dus ja, ik ga je vertellen over mijn ervaringen met dubbelgangers. Eerst werd het hebben van een dubbelganger in de middeleeuwen gezien als een voorteken van de dood. Ik weet niet zeker wat de logica hierachter is. Zie jij je toekomstige zelf vanuit het ''do'denrijk''? Impliceert het dat uw dubbelganger u gaat verm''oorden en uw plaats innemen? Hoe dan ook, ik weet nog dat ik voor het eerst iemands dubbelganger zag (afgezien van tweelingen). De eerste keer dat ik een dubbelganger zag, was toen mijn oma onlangs was overleden. Toch zag ik haar, in een bus rijden, alsof er nooit iets aan de hand was, en ze gewoon haar eigen ding deed. Het was behoorlijk verwarrend, maar logischerwijs wist ik dat het gewoon een oude vrouw was die op haar leek. Later in 2017, ik was ongeveer 23, leefde ik nog steeds als een cisman (een normale man), dus ik zag er niet bijzonder anders uit. Ik herinner me een meisje dat raar naar me keek. Ze vroeg of we elkaar kenden en of ik van een bepaald internaat kwam.

Ik was, opnieuw, een beetje in de war. Blijkbaar dacht ze dat ik iemand anders was.

Ik had een dubbelganger. Hoe dan ook, vele jaren later ontdekte ik langzaam dat ik een vrouw was (of in ieder geval agender). Rond 2021 heb ik mijn haar laten groeien, en mijn haar in een froufrou (bangs/fringe) laten knippen. Soms toeterden mensen naar mij en zwaaiden ze alsof zij wisten wie ik was, maar ik kende ze niet. Ik vroeg me af: komt dit doordat ik trans ben, of zie ik er anders uit met mijn gekleurd haar? In 2023 ging ik naar een rockfestival genaamd Alcatraz. Ik bleef niet lang, ik wilde het gewoon eens zien, de sfeer opsnuiven. Ik moet toegeven dat de muziek soms te luid was, en ik begrijp dat inwoners klagen als ze na 22.00 uur nog luide muziek horen. Hoe dan ook, opnieuw staarde een meisje naar mij, alsof ze zich mij herinnerde, maar ik herkende haar niet. Normaal gesproken zou ik van deze gelegenheid gebruik hebben gemaakt om een nieuw iemand te leren kennen, maar ik moet me moe hebben gevoeld en ik was niet van plan lang te blijven. De tekenen werden duidelijk, maar ik was me er nog steeds niet van bewust. Dus maanden later (eigenlijk een maand of week geleden vanaf nu). Mensen toeterden weer naar mij, ze maakten 'rock handgebaren' alsof ik een soort rockster was. Ik denk dat ik het genegeerd heb, ik ben er helemaal voor zelfexpressie, maar ik haat het als mensen toeteren zonder reden, ik ben dan ook een grote au''tist lol. Wat het ook was, de tekenen waren er: heb ik een dubbelganger? Hoe het ook zij, ongeveer een week geleden ging ik met een aantal mensen naar een meeting. Ik zei dat ik een kunstenaar ben. Ik teken, schilder, schrijf en maak muziek. Ik bedoel, misschien is mijn muziek verschrikkelijk, maar ik maak het en ik heb er plezier in.

Iemand vroeg of ik live optrad. Ik zei beleefd nee. Ik maak muziek met behulp van mijn computer (componeren en monteren), en eerlijk gezegd kan ik geen muziek live spelen, anders zou het op zijn minst klinken als een dronken peuter die op een gebroken elektrische piano speelt. De kerel legde uit dat hij iemand zag die precies op mij leek, een rockster. Nu ja, rockster, ik weet niet zeker of die persoon beroemd is. Ik weet niet eens zeker of die persoon man of vrouw is. Ik zie er androgyn uit, en dat geldt ook voor veel rockartiesten. Ik had moeten vragen wie die zanger was, maar op de een of andere manier was ik het vergeten. Pas later kwamen al deze kleine momenten bij me terug en vormden ze één verhaal. Al deze mensen toeterden en maakten "rockmuziek-gebaren". Geen wonder dat ze dit deden. Er loopt een dubbelganger-rockster rond! Lol Ook al probeer ik er uniek uit te zien, soms 'cute en roze', soms donker, (vaak casual uit comfort). Ook al ben ik trans en heb ik mijn haar in 3 verschillende kleuren. Op de één of andere manier lijkt iemand nog steeds op mij! haha! PS: Ik beschuldig niemand ervan mij te vervalsen, of mijn identiteit te stelen of zoiets. Ik heb toevallig een dubbelganger en daarom ben ik iemands dubbelganger. Het is toeval, een cionkydink.

[brw]

thoughts on the new Wasp issue? The whole thing where they were in a world where hank never existed was pretty interesting or could've been I think & nadia having to become an assassin instead of being able to evade it due to them wanting her to work on her father's research makes sense kind of except that it's weird she didn't try to escape? idk it's not like anyone else broke her out or redeemed her or anything so it's a little weird. The thing with janet I did not like because her wanting to avenge her father's death makes sense & she found a way to do it without becoming the wasp (weird thing to happen in the only solo series she has though) which is realistic but the avengers being "a group of operatives who are specialists in their respective fields" doesn't really capture the magic of how they assembled in the first place to me... also what do you think janet is a specialist in? also what did the hulk specialise in lol? I also don't like ewing's voice for janet.

hi anon!

i think it's a marked improvement from the first two issues but i won't lie, i'm still not convinced. there's two major problems i have with it so far; first of all, it feels incredibly drawn out n poorly paced. we have one issue left and i still feel like the conflict is yet to actually happen in the comic, which is suprising considering how well-paced the rest of ewing's projects are, even just thinking about storm and the brotherhood which came out on the same day but especially compared to ant-man. it's possible the final issue will change my mind, but it so far feels like something that could have been done in two issues and probably would have been better off for it.

second; this isn't a janet book, simple as. it would not surprise me in the slightest if i found out that this was originally a vague plot for nadia, and then ewing awkwardly placed janet in it afterwards when marvel asked him for a sister series to ant-man. janet has not done anything interesting and i have learned literally nothing new of her character so far, except that apparently she is smart enough to sort out the whole alien thing on her own without hank n without being the wasp. i guess.

i guess i'm just missing what made the ant-man series fun. i'm not expecting a clone, but the shifting tones between the classic 60s vibe and more contemporary comics and the sleaziness of early 2000s comics really suited the tone and made me think a lot about how hank and the legacy of ant-man has changed over the years. janet's missing all of that fun vibe, and it just doesn't feel like the kind of homage to janet van dyne and the wasp mantle you would expect from an anniversary issue. it feels like a forgotten arc of the jeremy whitley unstoppable wasp run.

anyway nadia as an assassin was fun, n made sense! her not having someone to look up to and make her inspired to be heroic and becoming a star assassin is a fun beat, it's interesting that without that she never tried to leave but i suppose it makes sense. janet as "the avenger" is interesting, but i'll be honest i'm still waiting on janet to feel like janet. there's no reason why without hank she would stop being fun and flirty and a bit of an adrenaline junkie. like, in avengers origins: ant-man and the wasp she feels like a distinct person, but those traits are still there. i dunno.

anyway i hope the last issue is good, but i really do feel the pacing is off and the characterisation of janet especially feels a bit weird. it's not that he can't write janet; issue one of ant-man jan was great! it's just that it feels like in a need to show janet is mature and an adult he's squeezed a lot of her out n i'm not vibing with it unfortunately :(

(also this might sound awful of me to say but i think janet would have been more likely to become a villain without hank, because it's really on the avengers as a team member where she learns a sense of responsibility and maturity IMO. her father dying gave her a sense of injustice, but if you ask me it's growing as a team where she really grows as a person. before then she's very much so still a privileged upper class girl with an adrenaline problem, and i can't help but think it would be both fun and make sense for her to be a campy fashion themed supervillain. but that's just me)

[josiebelladonna]

“tumblr is the only place to be anymore, it won’t ever die”

oh, yeah? you can’t post hardcore stuff on here anymore and heaven help you if you’re a sex worker who got fucked over by the nsfw ban. bots are everywhere. you post art and you’ll get 3 notes if you’re lucky—if you get upwards of a thousand, 900 of them will be likes guaranteed. you post fanfic on here and it’ll be buried in that monster tag. everything is either memes or nonsense. this place fucking SUCKS now if you’re an artist, like i’m surprised i’m seeing people tell those who jumped ship from reddit that reblogs are lifeblood here because artists are lucky to be reblogged even a couple of times on here anymore. this place is dead if you’re any kind of creative person.

“everyone is faceless on tumblr, there’s no brands or celebrities here”

okay, first of all, what’s your definition of a celebrity? the kardashians? okay, now what if i said that someone with a thousand followers is a celebrity? if they’re known amongst a thousand people i’d say they’re well known, which is what “celebrity” means. next, you guys need to stop it with this “brand = evil” thing, because you know what’s a brand? nat geo. prismacolor. copic usa. scientific american. you can’t get news on here. you guys screenshot from brands on twitter all the time anyway with accounts like “funny-tweets” and what have you, like shit or get off the pot. besides, i follow artists, musicians, art stuff, nat geo, and a few friends on there, stuff i have been itching for on here and stuff i couldn’t get on twitter for years. and the “everyone is faceless” thing is nonsense if you’ve been on here longer than 5 years.

“tumblr is the only place where content creators can be”

lol, no. like i said, unless you are pre-established somewhere else, forget it on here. the tags are a mess, everything looks exactly the same with absolutely no room for anything unique or innovative, and there are so many bells and whistles to this place now that it’s quite literally two bad updates away from being virtually unusable. all of you are like “think twice”, yeah, well, i’m gonna think twice before i listen to you jerks. (by the way, right out the gate over on threads, people made it known that they’re fed up with the whole “influencer” thing. wolf van halen made fun of it. several artists i follow made fun of it. we loathe it as much as anyone else. so, please. get off your high horse.)

“tumblr doesn’t scrape your data”

the hell it does. did you know that if you live in california, they actually give you the option “do not sell my information” on here? that’s right, they make it optional. oh, and the ads on here are an eyesore. i thought they were kind of funny at first but they make scrolling impossible and they’re the most ridiculous things i’ve ever seen (and apparently adblock is starting to give some leeway on this)

“how do you work threads”

it’s actually really easy to figure out, almost too easy. now, if you follow someone new, you get the accounts they follow in your feed (which i think is weird, but i actually get the logic because they might follow something you’ll like), but if you hide it or straight up ignore it, you won’t see it again. there’s no hashtags on there, either (at least not at the moment), which… i kind of like? hashtags are so abused at this point—looking at you, tumblr—that it’s rather relieving to not see that. so, if you see something you like, you “repost” it (which is like retweeting or reblogging). you guys hate something that uses a mechanism that was once tumblr’s lifeblood and has taken a back seat to the goddamn like button. i… have no words.

“threads isn’t available in the eu, it’s probably full of privacy issues”

okay, two things. number one: when you sign up for it, you are immediately given the option for a public account or a private account. of course, that doesn’t really do much to keep you away from zuckerberg’s reddened eyes (as those of us who have been around facebook will tell you), but all of us who signed up on wednesday were well aware of what we’re getting into with it. we were all like “this is good*” * meaning “for now that is”. it’s so fucking obvious that you don’t need to state it and put words in our mouths (how did we exactly come to this conclusion, anyway? that “not available to europe = privacy out the window”? i’m not in the eu, so help me out here) number two: and i cannot emphasize this more, USE YOUR HEAD. i looked into it immediately after i saw the announcement a couple of months ago and came to the conclusion that i probably needed it. it’s meant to accompany instagram, too—hence why you need an ig to get it and why you need to delete your instagram to rid of it; which tells me the bad reaction to this on here has been a major case of knee-jerk reactions without reading into it first. i’ve been in need of a place like that, a place that’s sort of twitter-ish but is a more user-friendly (and it is! it took me three days to gain 20 followers on threads; twitter, it took me a month; tumblr, it took me two months). if i was a sex worker, i wouldn’t touch the place with a ten-foot pole (and i sure as fuck wouldn’t link my personal facebook to my business instagram, like… i stopped doing that in 2012 with facebook and twitter because i thought it looked bad. really, who does that, especially if you’re a sex worker?) people on here are utterly abysmal when it comes to critical thinking and the fact so many on here are bitching about this tells me no one thought it out and instead ironically took the cowards’ way out. and this is a corollary of that but… if you got nothing to hide, stop worrying about this. really. some of you going all lecture-y about this probably don’t remember the patriot act after 9/11, how we had our privacy invaded with wire-tapping and checking the mail. hell, roe v. wade, at its core, was about a right to privacy. we all have a right to privacy, but violations of it have been going on for decades and truly getting it back has been such a tall order that it’s nearly impossible. plus, all of you saying that it’s an invasion of privacy will always make me laugh because you guys are the same generation letting technology rule your lives and letting a harebrained app like tiktok completely destroy your brain, heart, and attention span, like it’s so ironic.

and just like with american elections, it really comes down to the lesser of two evils. i don’t like zuck or elon, but i’ll take the former because at least i know what i’m getting myself into there; elon has just destroyed everything in his wake to the point of no return (so weird to think that in 2018, i thought he was going to save us all, too). but i promise if you’re in north america, and if you have your location turned off on the instagram app in settings, you’ll be fine.

[fantasticcloudcreation]

Aug 18

The scale is still saying 113.5, I've binged the past 2 days (actually out of control eating whatever nonsense I can find kinda binges) but I'm going to do better today :)

I got a new notebook so I can start a new journal which always feels like a good symbolic fresh start. After the past couple weeks it really does feel like a new chapter is starting. Making plans for camping with D this week in the old familiar beach towns, so that'll be nice, maybe he'll come meet my family after a couple days of camping, we'll see how it unfolds. Drinking another cup of tea rn bc I forgot to get coffee; hitting the old vapes bc I'm insane and I should just go buy a new one until I'm actually ready to address the addiction.

The new journal has the dot grid instead of lines which makes me feel extra productive haha something about it. Made a couple tracking charts to get on track with goals again, and a nice big to-do list so it's all in one place :) maybe I'll actually get my shit together this time (I say that every time i start a new journal haha.) also thinking about L getting back home and immediately diving back into his life and goals and projects, meanwhile i got here and immediately went on a weed + wine bender and turned into a fog machine for 3 days ... Doing better today though, I'll check some things off the to-do list, it's fine to relax and reset and work at your own pace. It's nice to have motivated ambitious friends who inspire me to do better. Yesterday I thought real hard about giving into the negativity spiral and then I thought about L and was like, I want to do better! (Also dug out the old dying vapes from the van and maybe that lil bit of nicotine was enough to pull me back from the edge lol.)

Anyway. Life is good today. Yesterday I was feeling overwhelmed like there was no hope of ever accomplishing anything or moving forward or doing anything interesting or special; today I feel like I got it under control and I can just keep taking baby steps and the path is unfolding as I keep walking :) amazing what a good organization system can do for you. That's another thing L inspired, he's as ADHD as I am but he's got all these systems that keep his things in order and i feel like i need to get better at that, creating systems and structures for myself to work around/inside of. I create them and follow along for a couple weeks and then get distracted/do something else, but I think if I can keep working out a system that eventually works for me, that might make all the difference between needing Adderall vs not needing Adderall haha. Still considering getting the scrip refilled but I'm gonna give it one more try first.

[feuqueerfire]

Island Part 1 Live Blogging

I didn't watch anything last week because of being overwhelmed and busy for the past 10 or so days but finally I'm ready to once again start a new show when I should be studying.

My main reason for watching this is really just Cha Eunwoo because I miss seeing his face. People seem to really like his character and say his acting improved so I'm even more excited. I wanted to start Korean sff shows anyway so might as well start here even though I got spoiled for a biiiiig thing that happens at the end of S2 and also people's reactions have been like good but not great.

Ep 1 (Mar 14)

ah they're toast

oh they're not speaking Korean

hello my beloved Eunwoo

i never know whether to trust this type of old man who is the lady's father's butler man and is some sort of mentor to her as well

oof the wedding dress monster killed and ate someone?

isn't there gonna be a fuss about the dead body

ah so the lady is a reincarnation of the woman in the white dress who previously died? and the man is the one who's been living at Tamara since then?

olden times Jeju - the guy was a child and was forced to become half human half demon. where's the other kid who became that way too

oh bulter sir where are you going and what did the student see?

lol we already saw the man being selfish and self-absorbed so that's not doing anything for me but ig he's also gonna become a demon now? also i originally thought the assistant who she told to look into those two men was him but ig it's a different man

A pretty meh first episode tbh

Ep 2 (Mar 14)

damn they really did this shit to the children

beautiful beloved Cha Eunwoo <333 I am very fond of him

oh the bulter mans is Miho's protector

the slug things are so fucking disgusting

these action scenes are so boring because they go on for too long, I don't care enough about Miho, it's only ep 2 so I know she's not gonna die or really get hurt, and the immortal guy is gonna come save her each time like bro move on why are the action and chase scenes so long

yknow I find Miho endearing when she's praying to God, Buddha and being nervous to go to sleep and her nervous mannerisms when the man in the dark comes to her room and I think it reminds me of Saras played by Ae in PS I Hate You

actually she's endearing when she's trying to get Van to sign the contract

damn is Van the one who killed Miho in her past life

also pretty meh for me, I don't care about the action, but I'm glad to see a bit more of Eunwoo and also I'm starting to be endeared by Mino

Ep 3 (Mar 14)

why the fuck is there a domestic abuse plotline fucking hell It's like I gotta either watch women being terrorized by men or turn to watch BL where they also sometimes treat women as evil caricatures like I can't

fucking hell and blackmailing her with her nsfw photos too I actually am so fucking annoyed why can't I fucking watch just a fantasy show

this is so fucking sad bro

I love Yeon-ji already

if Yeon-ji or Suryeon actually die or anything I'll be so fucking mad btw

(Linguistics) ahh I love Johan tryna get away with using banmal and referring to Miho as chingus but being shut down lol can't wait to hear him say noona

I don't care about the romantic hints toward Miho and Van whatsoever tbh

(Linguistics) please the way Miho is all wide-eyed and belatedly adds the -yo when she asks if he's really a priest

Johan is so cheeky I love him

Suryeonnnnnn if Bujille does something to her I'm gonna kill this show

nah the better save suryeon

the failed exorcism was pretty cool

This ep finally picked up. I'm glad we get our characters around each other now and some interesting things have started to happen beyond just "oh monster chases Miho and Van saves her." Most of all, I love Johan being daring and cheeky and beautiful and fun and eager.

Not a super big fan of female suffering due to an abusive boyfriend and threats of nudes/nsfw photos being leaked though like I wish it was just something else.

3 eps in a day oof

Ep 4 (Mar 15)

oh was the light-haired guy the other half-demon from the old days

omg the big devil tree-looking monster being maneuvered by Lee Suryeon

I know it's supposed to be funny that Johan was choking while Miho and Van were arguing but :) I dislike such incompetency and callousness for the sake of humour like first of all Johan was trying to help Miho, second of all we're supposed to think Van doesn't gaf but it's not like we're supposed to think Miho is like that too considering she's trying to convince Van to save Suryeon - so it's annoying that she has no worries about Johan

It's so fucking boring that we're on episode 4, both Van and Johan get to do cool action things and even if Johan gets caught, he can hold his ground for a bit with his cool sword, while Miho has yet to even improve in her hiding/escaping/running away techniques despite already being good at fighting and training. If she was at least able to get through to Suryeon with kindness or whatever, that'd be like something but she can't do that either and yells for Van constantly like okay I'm bored

well okay at least she got to speak to Suryeon and I guess some fucking light inside her made the Benjulle disappear

Ah Johan is so irritating when dealing with Van, ah so endearing

oh van calling upon Benjulle again for Suryeon's revenge

heh Van and the Gramma testing each other are so cute

did Johan leave the shrimp croquettes for Miho or is he just gone to the bathroom and will find them gone lol

I don't fully understand why Johan's doing this with Van? to test his strength? and also he wants his name? Edit after reddit thread reading: Someone said he wants to bring out the demon so that he can see if Van can control it enough so that the prophecy of him killing Miho again will come true or not. He left the shrimp croquettes so that she'd be busy eating those and not come looking for the two of them. that makes sense.

oh this is how Van had previously killed her. by his demon side coming out and stabbing her. oof Johan what have you done

A more interesting episode. I wish we got to see the weirdo abusive ex being ripped to shreds at least a little bit or maybe his dead body since we got to see Suryeon's bruised face and her vulnerable photos.

The Johan and Van fighting was pretty cool, one of the action sequences that I thought was actually fun because it involved things more than just chasing or saving Miho.

Also, I'm at least glad that Miho's rich and has connections because otherwise she'd be so fucking useless but then again, she's pretty useless with it too. She didn't seem to give a fuck when Yeomji first came to tell her that Suryeon was being abused, so I didn't think the 'empathy and kindness' would be her forte the way it is for so many female leads but then after she saw the state Suryeon was in, she did start to care more. I thought her having money would mean maybe she could actually get revenge for Suryeong but in the end, Van had to ask Bujille for help. Miho can't save herself which is irritating still 4 episodes in especially when she's been shown to know how to fight but she also can't help Suryeon much despite her status and money. What the fuck can she do by herself then except whatever pureness is inside her and whatever the prophecy will dictate?

I wish we got better-written, more interesting female characters. Yeom-ji is interesting so far, maybe she'll appear more later

Ep 5 (Mar 15)

blocked by own arm is expected

oh our affable Johan has shaking hands

I love the horror aspect of the tourist murder and organ extraction, please have more scary things

Miho fr went outside by herself in the woods after 1) the Dujille incident and 2) the Van incident? girl you are generally useless, why would you fucking do that

oh she's tracking Van's phone

Miho sounds stupid as hell with the "you promised to protect me and you did :>" like at least make her be like i believe you will overcome it or like something that doesn't sound so naive

and i wish they didn't have a romance because it doesn't make sense

pls not all the girls following behind Johan because he's so beautiful and he's relishing in that for sure oh this priest

Johan's a priest right, he likes girls fawning over him but he's not gonna fall for Miho right? I don't want another romantic line

Suryeon and Yeomji are fr best buddies, so cute I love them T.T

omg give me Johan backstory right now

so the Fox Demon is extracting livers until he finds 'his' and is aided by the evil half-demon? and then sometimes sliced up?

so this is Johan's brother at current time?

Guntan is the other half-demon

no but what exactly did that call that Johan got tell him? that they can't find his brother yet?

we're spending too much time at this orphanage and thinking about what Johan would say to his brother, so I... somehow doubt they'll actually get to meet oh no

girl this is so lol like Sujin's fiance probably gonna die and Johan's brother probably gonna die

like first of all after the lust demons have nearly killed her multiple times + Suryeon's lust demon infested Bunjille due to it trying to Miho, I feel like Miho should have enough brain cells to be like actually don't come near me

oh the husband died but at least Johan got to meet his brother; though he may die soon too who knows

Ep 6 (Mar 15)

more Johan and brother backstory

oh they're adopted by white people who have a sick child.... omg

they're gonna fucking do something to the kids T.T

I don't fully understand what happened but did they try to get Johan's brother's liver for their sick child? is that why he was sick also before they took Johan away? but why was Johan also clutching his stomach and blood on his shirt? Did the operation with the older sibling and white child not work so they tried it with Johan too? Is this white sick child the one searching for the liver now as the Fox Demon or smth? or is it Johan's brother since his liver would be missing, though that doesn't quite make sense with what happened with those other people that the brother worked with right?

ah the siblings are having a heart to heart but uhhh I feel like the "let's stay together" yearning of Johan is not gonna be long-lived

oh fuck the brother is so definitely working for Guntan or something rip

oh did Wonjeong betray Guntan and Van somehow? or accidentally betray them but Guntan believes she did it on purpose?

oh beautiful stag? reminds me of Shadow and Bone

why the hell on earth would Miho leave her friend at the funeral crying alone like

I so don't give a fuck about Van and Miho irritates me

oh the brother Chan-hee can't remember killing those people while he's a lust demon?

ah fuck Chan-hee asking Johan to kill him T.T

bro first I felt emotions for Suryeon and now Johan T.T poor guy

filing a teary Eunwoo on his knees looking desperate for later when I'm not feeling sad for him and he's not a priest

ah fuck desperate, desperate Johan but the lust demon wants to kill Wonjeong/Miho

poor fucking Johan really having to kill his brother

my beloved Johan nooo T.T

wait a second were there scenes after the title card each time?

oh Guntan has a fucking cult

oh what the fuck my beloved Yeom-ji T.T

Also, the thing that Chan-hee was getting and saying "It's not mine" is probably kidney and not liver lol I thought liver because they said that's what the Fox Demon stole but Chan-hee was not that.

Overall Thoughts:

The main female lead was whatever, wish she was just good at something. Whether it be at fighting demons (understandable that she isn't), was fighting back via kindness and empathy (I'll be forever floored that she's apparently feeling soooo much for fucking Van while her reaction to being told about Suryeon's situation was like hmm whatever just tell the cops), actual power due to her status/wealth/connections (but she couldn't even fucking put the abusive ex behind bars and couldn't keep her promise to Suryeon to get revenge for her and then dared to be like 'hmm idk how I feel about this' when Van got him killed), or her smarts (miss girl kept going everywhere in the woods by herself, including in the dark; she couldn't tell her friend to not come to her at night like this). She's not the worst ever because she can still stand up for herself and she has personality but I mourn that they've written her like this. I also just hate that the only other girl we've paid any significant attention to was Suryeon and I had to see her go through an abusive relationship; why can't we get some cool suffering, why do I have to see girls and women be tortured at the hands of men in this way every time?

Van is just fucking boring and I don't care. He's kinda cool but like he's not fun or interesting or endearing or tunning at my heart strings (except him as a child when he was being abused as he was trained T.T)

My beloved Johan <3333 Cha Eunwoo was my main reason for keeping an eye on this show since I watched True Beauty and was into Astro for a few weeks. He did so well <33 I liked his charming, cocky, beautiful character who was so intrigued by everything going on as if he really was 20 and curious about everything but also I liked his apprehension when it came down to it. The storyline with his brother was so T.T He had him for such a short time and it was so sad seeing him trying to do everything to save him and yet having to kill him in the end.

Also curious to see the evil brother half-demon Guntan and his sidekick niece Yeom-ji. They're both pretty cool compared to our 2 main characters. The Certified Noonas were talking about how cool Guntan is and all I could think about was "So, what if he's the devil, Rick? At least the devil has a job. At least he's active in the community." because mans is really active and murderous and a cult leader.

I wish the show flowed better in terms of the sequence of scenes and pacing and the main characters were more intriguing.

Rating: 6/10

[fayrinferno]

I will add some comments to this chapter here again!

Now that I think of it, quite a few things were already mentioned or hinted at in this post.

As I reread the chapter, (besides spotting the mistakes lol), I again appreciate anime as the medium (and vice-versa). Thinking of how much conversation was saved ascertaining that yes, Hitomi, it's the Earth in the sky. I said elsewhere, this kind of scene gets kinda old when you translate all kinds of Esca materials.

Long-haired yak is the name of the beast the wolfmen ride. It seems they forgot to put in the furigana in but it should be kenaga yaku, from the existing animal names using the same kanji. It's sort of interesting that it isn't just "yak", should it mean the existence of another type of yak? Or why else would Van use an biologically exact term like that? Now that I think of it, it may be analogical to "wooly mammoth" so maybe I should have used that for the translation.

Regarding Ruhm, Nobuteru Yuuki commented somewhere that he was designed in a lot of detail because his role helping Van and Hitomi in the beginnings was supposed to be bigger than it ended up being. Maybe these longer scenes are remnant of that. Anyway, I really appreciated them and love Ruhm here, both his kindness and his teasing.

Van finally makes his introductions an episode later and yeah, he is pretty much as he is depicted in the anime, including his overly-dramatic side, which is expressed here through his lines rather than descriptions. I think it matches very well with the anime scenes.

AND of course, did I enjoy the tiny romantic scene with Hitomi almost falling off the yak! Nice foreshadowing there with him preventing her from falling with his "unexpectedly strong arm"! (yeah the guy just killed a dragon Hitomi, I think the fact that he's stronger than he looks was already established). We even got to compare heartbeats! I really love having this confirmation of YES, there is romantic tension between VH right from the beginning, even if not all anime viewers may detect it.

We got confirmations also about the dragon-repelling devices! So, the things Ruhm's men are using are praying wheels, or maniguruma. Or, yeah, that was the word Hitomi as the narrator used because that's what she recognized. These praying wheels range from the handheld ones to those built into the walls and you spin them as you walk by (the handheld one is at the end of the video). They come from Tibet and Nepal, basically the places where Kawamori got the inspiration for our show, so i wonder if there's a connection and it was his idea to include this in the worldbuilding. They are also inlaid with mantras and spinning them may equal to prayer. Maybe the Gaean ones also include some sort of text like "dear gods keep the dragons away", or, since dragons are seen as gods in the first place "dragons, kindly stay away from us"? Or they are just a mechanical tool without any spiritual meaning. I mean, they don't have to be the same thing as on Earth, most importantly, they emit a strange sound and somehow they keep away the dragons.

The descriptions of the landscapes were not easy to translate. There were so many mentions of the "myriads of plateaus" as they approached Fanelia! This is apparently something that also exists in Himalayas, for example in place called Nagarkot:

Wonder if this is something like what we should imagine.

Aaand we reach Fanelia itself. Lovely descriptions there as well. So the city is supposed to have been built on an alluvial fan. Which makes a lot of sense in fact. This is a whole new level of worldbuilding compared to your everyday isekai/fantasy, where each medieval city was built in the perfect circle of its city walls. NICE.

I mentioned in the previous post how the novel gives Hitomi her whole thought process behind looking at her watch in her room at Fanelian castle. These things I'm really looking forward to, it's where the novelization can fully shine.

And now for the differences/details compared to the anime:

There is no Ruhm's speech about the Mystic Moon appearing.

Hitomi's seifuku is a different color, the jacket is still cream, but the skirt is dark blue. I wonder why, these colors should have been established long ago, in the long pre-production phase. The novel illustrations otherwise match the series designs spot on. But I still believe the text somehow precedes the screenplay of the anime, otherwise it would feel like it devolved on some concepts.

Meanwhile, Van has something like a waist bag. I was wondering where he put that drag energist in the anime. Or any other thing he would like to carry over the course of months we spend following him (he is only shown with that piscus drawstring bag once). I guess that waist bag exists in "no space", just like his wings.

They make no distinction between guymelef and melef; everything is a guymelef, at least for now. Also, Escaflowne has little portraits around the castle. Or maybe it's more of an "altar" in the training room? Like, look up to our little god of war for sword practice motivation.

The coronation takes place inside a cathedral and not out in the plaza. Hitomi is not the guest of honor, courtesy of Balgus, but instead she tags along with Merle and they watch from a balcony.

Balgus pilots a guymelef which automatically makes anime Balgus more of a badass comparing the two. Sorry, novel Balgus, you still were a cool guy, RIP.

Escaflowne just stands in some large hall in or possibly underneath the cathedral. Which is also a bit anticlimatic compared to the anime.

Hitomi actually has time to shine and help Van point out the invisible enemy sitting his shoulder! This comes way later in the anime. Novel Hitomi is kinda badass herself, ngl.

See you next chapter with another batch of ramblings!

Escaflowne Novels: Book 1 Part 2 (EN)

As I mentioned, I'm going to share all that I've translated of the Escaflowne Newtype Novels. With unplanned delay, this is the second part of the book one of series novelization. Sorry for any mistakes, I decided to just start posting it as it is. Title picture is edited from the novel cover illustration by Hiroshi Osaka.

READ HERE

[cirixwqnd]

‘ 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 ’ ✧ byler

read it on ao3 | masterlist | navigation

summary ; mike sees the painting in will’s backpack and his curiosity got the best of him. why would will even pack the painting anyway? was this girl really that special that he had to keep this paper fully intact and protected? (I am not very good at descriptions lol)

pairing ; will byers/mike wheeler

word count ; 3.4k

additional tags ; third person pov, but we mostly lean to mike’s pov, late at night confessions, first (sudden) kiss, slight internalised homophobia, has way too many heartstopper references i’m sorry lol, purposely cliché

a/n ; most of the italicized text and the ones between the ‘’ (i have no idea what those are called) are his thoughts btw!!

It was late at night and all four of the boys have decided that they need a rest or take a break at least, so they sleep in the van. Jonathan and Argyle are sleeping at the front seats while Mike and Will are at the back.

It wasn’t exactly as comfortable to sleep as it was on a bed but considering how things are going right now, they’d rather not complain.

They took turns staying up as they thought one of them keeping an eye out would be a good idea, in case they were attacked or some car was suddenly headed towards them.

Though Jonathan insisted on just Argyle and him to stay up so Will & Mike would get enough sleep, they protested (mostly will) and he didn’t want to argue because of how tired he was.

It’s Mike’s turn after Jonathan. He was doing whatever they told him to do. Look out the windows, but keep your head low, check the back, both sides, etc.

Then suddenly, a bag fell on his knee. It was a black backpack.

It wasn’t his.. so who’s was it? Will’s probably, he thought. Mike places the bag back to where it was but it was then he noticed a roll of paper. It looked familiar.. but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

“Great. Uh, what’s that?” he asked curiously. Was it a gift for him?

Will hesitated, thinking of something to say.

“Um, it’s nothing. Just this painting I’ve been working on.”

‘Oh. It’s that painting. The painting for the girl he likes. Since when did Will even start to have feelings for girls?’ Mike thought. Did he suddenly change his view on them and he didn’t even bother to tell him?

He stares at the painting blankly, as if it meant nothing to him or he was annoyed by it.

“Cool.” he says, looking at an unfamiliar guy with long dark hair afterwards.

It was that damn painting again. Why would Will even pack the painting? Was she really that special that he had to keep this paper fully intact and protected? Why would he even make one for her? And who was this girl anyway? Was it Angela? Mike had so many questions in his head that he desperately needed answers to.

But.. he just decides to look away, hoping to forget about the painting that bothered him oh, so much. Then he hears his friend shifting in his sleep, he turns around to see Will was now facing away from him.. and away from the bag.

Mike thinks about it for a second, wanting to respect Will’s privacy but also kind of offended that he didn’t even tell him that he had feelings for someone.

They are best friends after all.

No, wait, were best friends.

Now, they’re just.. friends. They’ve grown apart. Even before Will moved away, their relationship was growing distant by the minute. He wished they were back to how it was back then. Closer than ever, and nothing getting in the way.

But everything was different now. Now Mike has a girlfriend, and Will likes someone else. Someone that’s not him. He should be happy right? Happy that his friend is finally getting out there, meeting new people and having new friends.

But somehow, he isn’t. He feels jealous.. and angry. Not at Will, but at himself. If he just paid more attention to him, maybe they would get closer, maybe they could be best friends again, or.. something more..?

“No,” he muttered. ‘Don’t be stupid. Will isn’t like me — he’s not one of those people.. he’s not gay, right? If he was, he would’ve told me by now.’

Mike closes his eyes and takes a deep breath in, and out, then opens them again.

Fuck it! It’s not like he would even notice it got unrolled. Plus, he could always just say Jonathan or Argyle did it, not him.

He turns his head back towards the bag and carefully unzips it, worried that he might wake someone up. When there was enough space, he gently took the roll, glancing at Will every now and then to make sure he didn’t switch positions.

Ahah! Now he has the painting. He faced the window so he could perfectly see it under the moonlight.

Mike then realises that Will hadn’t made a drawing for him in years. He remembers receiving them on his birthday.

Every year Will would draw him, his D&D character or a memory they shared together and it would be one of the greatest gifts he’d ever gotten. Probably even the best.

Don’t get him wrong, toys are great and all, he loved it when Dustin and Lucas gave him a lego set or a new Star Wars figurine but Will’s just felt different. Maybe it’s because he made it, himself? Mike doesn’t even know.

He shakes his head, trying to focus on the painting, right now, in front of him. ‘Okay, I’m gonna stop stalling and actually open it.’ he says to himself.

Mike then starts a countdown in his head.

‘Three,’ he pulls the string up from the roll.

‘Two,’ he places it beside him.

‘One.’ he grips the paper.

He then unrolls it, expecting to see Angela or some girl beside Will. Or maybe a portrait of someone twirling their hair.. but it was neither of those things.

It was a painting of him and Will. The day they met. They’re on the swings, together. He rubbed his eyes, surely his vision was just messing with him?

They weren’t.

Was this.. a gift for him? But El said it was for a girl. Maybe the person beside Will is a girl.. they both just shared the same hairstyle and colour?

No.. it was wearing the same exact outfit he wore years ago. It was him.

There was a big tree on the side, clouds above, some grass at the bottom and the swings in the centre of it all. Both their faces were looking at each other, filled with nothing but pure joy.

He remembers it perfectly, it was one of the few memories he could and would never forget. How could he? It was a beautiful moment.

“Wow..” he whispers, very shocked at how wonderfully made it was. Oh, how he wished he could relive that memory. Mike wishes he could stare at it for hours and not get caught but he couldn’t; no one even knows that he’s seen it.

He takes a deep breathe and begins to roll it back when—

“You weren’t supposed to see that..” A voice spoke in the dark, startling Mike and making him jump.

It was Will, he’s awake. How did Mike not notice? He must be too busy observing the painting..

“Not until I give it to you anyway.” Will added.

Mike closes the painting and puts the string back on.

“Sorry, I was curious..” he admits.

He hands the paper back to Will, thinking he was upset.. he surprisingly wasn’t.

Will stares at him, taking it. “No, I.. I should’ve just handed it to you at the airport. But you just seemed out of it.”

“Out of it?” Mike asked.

His friend sighs, thinking of a response.

“I-I don’t know, you.. you seemed like you didn’t care at all. I thought it was because you didn’t wanna see me, that you only wanted to talk to El and spend time with her — well, you probably did.” Will stares at him with what seemed like a sad look on his face.

Mike furrowed his brows in confusion.

“Now I was just waiting.. waiting for the perfect time to give it to you but it looks like you’ve already seen it. There goes the surprise, I guess.” He lets out a nervous laugh, moving closer to his bag and putting the painting back inside.

Mike opens his mouth, thinking of something to say to make him feel better.

“Listen, I.. it wasn’t because I didn’t care about you.. I did want to see you, Will. I did! El, she told me that you were painting something, for a girl. And I guess I just got a little jealous.. you know?”

Mike glances up at Will only to see his eyes had grown wider along with a confused look on his face. He then realises what he had said, ‘Jealous.’

“Um, no wait, I meant— I got—”

“A girl? What girl? Weren’t you the one to tell me I didn’t like them?” Will raises his eyebrow, interrupting him.

Mike swallowed, remembering what he had said a while back, still regretting it. “Yeah, but that was months ago and.. El said that you were acting weird — you still are by the way.”

His friend scoffed, but he laughed softly.

“She thought you had a crush.” He added.

Will sighs once more, “Well, she’s not way off..”

His smile dropped, now curious as to what Will meant. “Not way off?”

“Even after all these years you still have a habit of repeating words, have you ever noticed?”

Mike ignored it, still waiting for an answer.

“Okay, well.. uh, how do I say this?” He stares at Jonathan and Argyle at the front of the van, like he was.. making sure they weren’t awake.

“I- um, are they asleep?”

Mike, who's still confused, glances at them.

“They should be.”

He turns back to Will, noticing his worried look.

“Hey.. are you okay?” Mike whispers, lightly brushing his fingers against Will’s. That seemed to grab his attention.

“Y-Yeah, yeah..”

“How about we talk outside and get some air? We won’t wake them up that way.” He offers, glancing at the full moon outside.

Will hesitates, but nodded ‘yes’ afterwards. Mike carefully slides the van door open, lending him a hand to hold as he gets down.

“Thanks..” His friend says awkwardly.

Mike looked around for a thing they could sit on, something that wasn’t too uncomfortable. He then spots a huge rock not too far from the van and points to it.

“There. We can go there.”

Once the two of them reached the rock, Mike jumped up to sit (it was a tall one). He stares down at Will and held out his hand for him to reach. It was just now he noticed how soft his friend’s hand is.

How Will could paint and draw yet manage to keep his hands like that is one of the mysteries Mike, himself, still can’t figure out.

Will took his hand, jumping up to sit next to him. He then adjusts his sleeve — he always fidgets with his clothes when he’s nervous or thinking and this worries Mike. What was he gonna say?

“Could you promise me something?” Will asked, without looking at the boy beside him.

Mike was now puzzled (again), more than ever. What was he gonna say that was so bad it would require a promise? “Yeah man. What is it?”

“Could you promise me that no matter what happens, we’re still friends? That you won’t think I’m different after this? But if you don’t want to talk to me ever again, it’s fine, I totally get it.”

He was taken aback. Nothing could ever make him stop being friends with Will, nothing. “Will, of course we’ll still be friends. We’ll still be best friends. Crazy together, right?”

Will smiles fondly at the memory coming back to him. “I don’t think you’ll think that when I say it to you.” the happiness on his face quickly disappears.

Silence filled the air around them. The two of them clueless as to what to say next.

Will speaks, “What you said about El.. she’s, uh, well, not wrong..” his hand shaking on his knee.

“You.. you have a crush?”

“Well, I—I mean..” He stutters, not even knowing if he should say it or not.

“I don’t even know if it’s a crush anymore, if I’m being honest. I really like this person, I have been for the longest time. And I’ve been giving them the most obvious hints, like making them a painting but.. they’re so oblivious. Now it looks like it’s too late, they already like someone else, a-and I don’t understand if they’re stupid, angry or purposely ignoring me — I-I don’t know but.. I really like them. Even they don’t like me that way, it’s fine.. but they’re really special to me and I’ll always be there for them, even if they’re not there for me.”

Mike’s heart drops. El turns out to be right all along. Who was he kidding? Will’s not like him, he doesn’t think of him that way. There’s no way he does.

“Oh wow.. um, she sounds really, really cool.” His eyes stinging with tears but he refused to let them out. Not here, not now, and definitely not in front of Will. “W-What does she look like?”

“You’re just gonna assume they’re a she?”

He turns to face Will, one of his eyebrows raised.

‘She—they— what? Did he say ‘they’? How did I not notice? Does he—Is he— is it a boy..?’ Mike’s head was racing with thoughts. It was then he saw that there were tears falling from his friend’s eyes. They were both crying.

“Are they.. are they not a girl?”

“Yeah—I mean, no.. h-he’s not..” he managed to say through his shaky breath.

It took some time for Mike to get through his trail of thoughts.. he wasn’t even sure if he heard Will correctly. He chews his lip, unsure of what to do, say.. or ask.

“You probably think I’m disgusting now, do you? It’s okay, Mike.. I completely understand. I don’t even know why I’m like this — like a mistake. I really wish I wasn’t but I just.. I don’t know.”

“No.” Mike replies sternly. “Listen to me Will, you’re not disgusting, okay? And you’re not a mistake. I don’t know where you got that from but you’re wrong. We—we just can’t help who we like. It just happens, i-it’s not a choice and we can’t control it, you know?”

His friend finally turns to him, rubbing his nose. “Yeah.. you’re right. That’s probably the most smartest thing you’ve ever said in your 14 years of life,”

“Hey! I’m gonna turn 15 in a few days.”

Will lets out a teary laugh. “Then 15 years of life then, which is worse!”

Mike beams softly, noticing how.. great — or cute Will looks. The moonlight perfectly highlighted his features, his smile, and those dark green eyes he could get lost in forever.

No. Stay focused, Mike. This is not the time to get distracted.

“So.. what’s he like? Is he kind?”

Will sighs. “He is, he actually is. I.. I actually don’t know what went wrong between us or what I did wrong but I hope he’s happy. I just wished he didn’t.. push me away. My friendship with him is more important than my feelings but even that is falling apart. We don’t even see each other anymore. I have no idea what to do..”

He looks down, who is this person and why would he even think of pushing Will away? He’s the kindest, most talented and amazing person ever.. there would be no reason to. “You can try talking to him.”

“That’s the thing, I have, on multiple occasions. But guess what? He pushed me away, again. I wished he called more, or just checked up on me. A letter or two would’ve been fine but I got nothing.. absolutely nothing.” Will says, wiping the tears away from his face.

Mike frowns, something inside him aches with guilt. He hates seeing Will cry. Mike remembers taking him home or hugging him when he’d get those visions from the upside down years ago. He wished he could do the same now but he can’t.

Well, there is one thing he can do right now, he can try to comfort Will.

He hesitates for a moment, deciding whether or not it was even a good idea. Mike brushes his thoughts away and wraps his arms around him.

Will sniffles and gives in, crying on Mike’s shoulder as his shaky palms clung onto him.

Mike takes a deep breath and softens his voice.

“Shh, it’s gonna be okay, Will. It’s gonna be okay. Of course he I wanted to talk to you. H-He probably I was just too scared that you don’t feel that way about him me.. that he I might just embarrass himself myself by telling you. He’s I’m just so lost now that you we don’t see each other anymore.”

His chest then starts to feel tight; he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to hold his tears back this time.

“A-And he probably doesn’t I don’t know when or how to tell you — he probably doesn’t I don’t even know if he I should be liking you this way. Maybe that’s why he’s I’ve been ignoring you.. because maybe.. just maybe, he’ll I’ll stop having these stupid feelings. But he does I do care about you, Will. I do He does. More than you know.”

Will slowly lets go and faces Mike.

“You really think so?” He smiles weakly, a tear falling from his eye.

“Yeah.. yeah, I really do.”

He chuckles, but it wasn’t just any chuckle — it was a genuine one, like he was actually happy.

Mike admires him, glancing between his two green eyes, thankful that he at least cheered his friend up a bit. Then, without any hesitation or even thinking, he cups Will’s face and leans in to kiss him.

Will’s eyebrows raised and his eyes widened.

All Mike could think of was how right this felt, how long he’d been wanting to do this, how soft Will’s lips are. He never really believed it when people on TV said kissing someone you liked so much for the first time would feel like time had stopped and you’d feel butterflies in your stomach.. but now he definitely does.

Well, he did kind of feel that way when he first kissed El but there was one exception.. it didn’t feel right. Sure, he felt a bit happy and flustered when it happened but this kiss with Will was somehow different. It didn’t matter why, it just was.

He slowly pulls away, his eyes meeting the ones he was so lost in just a few moments ago. He realises what he had just done.

“Oh, s-shit. Will, I’m—I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking I—”

His words are cut off by Will closing the air between them.

He drops whatever he was thinking and just leans into it. Afterall, this wasn’t something he experiences everyday so it’s better to enjoy it while it lasts, you know?

Mike wipes the almost-dry tears on Will’s cheeks as Will gripped onto the fabric of Mike’s shirt.

The kiss lasted for a few more seconds before both of the boys pulled away, looking in opposite directions.

Nothing but the sound of wind faintly swirling around them could be heard.

Still not daring to face each other, Will smirks and blushes. His hand moves to find another to hold.

Mike, however.. his entire face was red, his eyes wide open, still trying to process what just happened.

‘Did.. we.. just… KISS!?’ as childish as his thoughts were, he didn’t care. He just couldn’t believe it.

‘Will likes me too? Was I the one he was talking about? How long has he liked me? Why didn’t I notice? How didn’t I notice?’

He sheepishly turns back to Will, who was still facing the other way. He sees his hand between them just laying there.. like it was waiting to be held or something. Mike scoffs, and takes it, putting it on top of his.

Will finally looks at him with a soft smile on his face. He intertwined their fingers, reciprocating Mike’s feelings.

“Soo,” Mike scratches his head. “Was I.. the one you were talking about?”

The brown-haired boy giggles.

“Mike, oh my god.. sometimes your total obliviousness just blows my mind. Of course, I was talking about you. I even said that I made ‘them’ a painting and you just saw mine minutes ago!”

“Ohh…” Mike laughs and covers his face in embarrassment. “I’m so stupid!”

Will smiles fondly. “I’m so glad you finally admitted it.”

“Hey! At least I’m not the one crushing on a stupid person.” They both laughed.

Mike gently squeezed his hand, still overwhelmed by the fact that his ‘stupid feelings’ were reciprocated after all.

“I love your painting by the way.”

“Yeah?” Will’s thumb slowly caresses Mike’s hand.

“Yeah. You’re gonna have to make me another one when all this is over.”

He chuckles. “Oh? So the kiss was just a secret ploy for you to get another gift from me to hang up your basement wall?”

“Maybe..?” Mike smirks jokingly.

“Wow.. so sneaky, Michael.”

a/n ; thank you for reading! I’m such a sucker for first kiss one-shots, and this is the third one I’ve written. also the second byler fic I’ve published (on ao3)! i mostly listened to the heartstopper soundtrack while writing this. and yes the title is a song from there. 🤧

okay bye, I hope you have a wonderful day! :D

[goofygooberdays]

I saw that you were taking but I was thinking the same thing, why is there so much smut? Like I get it they're hot but let's have some cute fics without the hard-core porn at the end (not trying to be mean to those who like it, there's just so much)

Anyways, if you don't mind taking an Eddie Munson request, could you do one where he and the reader get followed by Robin and Steve on one of their dates?

I don't think I'm honest the right person to answer this since I do like smut, but it just got way too much for me. I crave the sweet shit lately but apparently everyone else is on a different wave length lol. Or like you said, the hard-core porn fics are just everywhere (like they said, I'm not judging or throwing shade! I just wanted someone to either request something I can write or that I can read! Read whatever the hell you would like!)

Now that I'm done with my little rant, I'd love to write this. I hope you're okay with it being in a headcannon!

-I imagine this being Eddie bragging to Steve and Robin about his upcoming date with you because he's so excited but these two don't really believe he's going on a date

-or they do believe him, but they kind of want to see with their own eyes since they haven't known their friend to get excited about things like dating

-after Eddie leaves the video store to go get ready (which honestly just consist of him making sure he sprays some cologne, maybe grab some gum, and cleans up his van a little so you don't see how much shit he throws in the back)

-if you're friends with Robin and Steve you'll be gushing how excited, but how nervous you are

-which again, your friends are excited for you two but it's still just so weird to them? They just can't wrap their minds around this because of how nervous you two are

-I don't know about you, but I don't really see Eddie being the type to like eating in crowded restaurants, because if I'm being honest I'm not the type either. If they stress you out like they do me, he would definitely not take you somewhere where you are even a little stressed.

-So that means he probably plans to take you to a bookstore or a library. And then when you guys are done there, you go grab some food but eat in his van while talking about the books and new music you got!

-You two are so enamored with each other and just talking a million miles per hour about different things that it take you guys a while to notice your friends trying, and failing, to be sly.

-but once you and Eddie notice them you two start making it a game: see which one will be the one to snap and accidentally say something to you two.

-so what started off with you guys talking about your personal favorite book or song to the other turns into the most random lie ever that the other two would know is a lie

-or you guys playing a little hide and seek from them. Basically you two try to hide in the weirdest parts of the store and see how long it takes for them to find you without making it obvious they were looking for you

-you would think Robin and Steve would figure out you and Eddie knew, but they only realized it when the store owners called Hopper because they were 'stalking you guys and you two were obviously afraid'.

-Which seemed a little dramatic, but it's fair the store owners were worried.

-Hopper looked so fucking done with you four when he showed up to the store. Since he's no stranger thing this group being absolute idiots, he just sighed and explained to the owner you guys knew each other.

-Robin and Steve were trying to get out of them before you and Steve noticed since they thought it wouldn't take long for you to spot them with Hopper being "too fucking loud" according to Steve.

-But Robin groaned and hit Steve when she noticed you two standing in the corner laughing so hard you guys were crying.

-"I think they know, Dingus."

-Steve was confused because he was so sure him and Robin were very good spies.

-"We spotted you guys back at the book store. Had a feeling you would follow us here." you said while you and Eddie walked past them to check out.

-Eddie was carrying all your stuff even though you told him you could carry them. He was also carrying your guy's book that he also paid for before you could say something. He tried to do the same for the music but you beat him to it this time.

-He tried to protest because after all, he's the one who asked you out first. But you were having none of it.

-"You asked me out first, but it's only fair I pay for half of the date since I've been wanting to do this for ages." To which he started blushing at since he's a precious bean.

-As you guys were walking out of the store, Hopper was telling Robin and Steve how much of an idiot they are and if he gets another phone call about them he's going to arrest them for real.

-Before Steve or Robin can say anything, you and Eddie go to stand right next to them. Robin was quick to apologize for ruining our date

-to which you and Eddie both waved off the apology and said they didn't ruin anything. "In fact, you guys made it a little better." you said while giving Eddie the biggest smile that he was also sporting himself.

-Since you guys were also a part of this date, do you want to join us for dinner?"

-Steve and Robin said yes quickly since these two would never turn down food. Plus they offered to pay since they felt a little bad still.

-Since none of you guys wanted to see how many people could fit into the back of Eddie's van, you went to a park and ate before playing on the playground like little kids.

-Even though your friends did end up hijacking the date, you and Eddie were okay with it since you two had a really really fun time. Plus you guys loved spending time with these two losers whenever you could.

-As you were all parting way, meaning Robin and Steve leaving in Steve cars and you and Eddie leaving in his van, you and Eddie kissed. All you heard was

-"Ew, I didn't need to see this bullshit." Robin said jokingly

-"If you're going to traumatize me than at least put your back into, Munson." He also said jokingly

-All in all, it was a really good night and you two definitely already made plans for another date in the upcoming future.

send me any request!

[leossmoonn]

could i please request a stefan fluff where the reader is like spanish or smth, but she speaks ij english with everyone. and her and stefan are dating. so one day she gets upset over smth so she starts ranting in spanish and stefan can't understand a thing. and he's like "oh- ok-" even though he didn't understand anything. if not thats ok! have a nice day!!

have a nice day too <33

masterlist

pairing - stefan salvatore x spanish speaking, fem!reader

type - fluff, angst

note - i put the reader as a spanish speaker and not just spanish, so it could be more inclusive :). and i'm so sorry that this is so bad. i couldn't come up with a better plot like i wanted to, but i hope you enjoy anyways!

warnings / includes - language, kissing, food and alcohol mention, cute couple stuff, you getting upset (duh), kissing, stefan trying to be supportive but also being really confused lol. you all are like in your late 20s for this lol. for those who aren't spanish speakers, i will put translations in little text under each sentence/paragraph

————

"Sí. Bueno, lo retomaré más tarde. Gracias," you hung up the phone, setting it down with a smile on your face.

["Yes. Okay, I will pick it up later. Thank you."]

"Hey, who was that?" Stefan come over to you, wrapping his arm around your waist.

"That was Lucas's friend. He was able to get the cake and the cupcakes made early!" You squealed, jumping up and down in his arms.

"Oh, that's awesome! Looks like Caroline won't be bugging you anymore," Stefan chuckled.

"Oh, I know. Man, am I happy to finally get this party planning over with," you sighed, turning around and leaning against the counter.

You smiled as you came face-to-face with your boyfriend. You hung your arms around his neck lazily, twirling the hair on the nape of his neck with your first fingers.

"Tired?" Stefan raised a brow, settings hands on your hips.

"Exhausted. And to think the actual party is tonight," you chuckled. "Well, that's the easiest part, right?" Stefan asked.

"Yeah, watching over twenty-to-twenty five eleven years olds is easy," you rolled your eyes.

"You'll have help. Caroline, me, Bonnie, Ric, Elena, Matt. Even Damon has volunteered to watch them!"

"Or lure them in a back corner and fed on them," you scoffed. "Hey, Damon's a lot of things, but he is not a child-blood-sucker," Stefan defended.

"Awe, you're defending him. How cute," you booped his nose.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. We are goals. Or whatever the kids are saying these days."

You giggled at his words, turning back around as you heard the front door open. You looked to see Caroline, Bonnie, and Elena carrying the twins, a bunch of presents, and at least five boxes of pizza.

"Damn. I wish you guys bought me this many presents!" You exclaimed.

"Oh, shut up. We give you a bottle of champagne and you're already over the moon," Elena snickered.

"Well, what can I say? I'm a simple gal," you grinned.

"Hey, Stef, can you help, please? Put these next to the window sill," Bonnie ordered as she was carrying most of the presents.

"Yeah, of course," Stefan nodded. He ran over to her with his vampire speed, picking up the presents at lightening speed and laying them out in towers.

"Thank you," Bonnie sighed. "Yeah, no problem. Hey, why didn't you just use your magic to carry them in?" Stefan asked.

"I need to save my energy for the kids," Bonnie explained.

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. I didn't know we were letting the world know our secret," you frowned.

"We aren't! They're just a bunch of kids. Plus, we can just compel them to forget. Josie and Lizzie really want to show them tricks, too," Caroline bounced the twins in her arms.

You looked to the two girls who were giggling and smiling. You sighed, "Fine. Anyways, guess who was able to get the cake and the cupcakes."

"Oh, my God! You?" Caroline gasped. "Yep. Call me Santa Claus 'cause I just delivered!" You grinned.

Elena, Bonnie, and Stefan cringed at your joke.

"Not your best work, Y/n," Elena shook her head.

"What! Hey, that was pretty good," you frowned. "You'll get 'em next time, babe," Stefan smiled, going over to you and patting you on the back.

"Okay, you guys are just jealous because you're not as funny as me," you scoffed.

"Oh, yeah, we're jealous all right," Bonnie smirked.

You opened your mouth to retort back, but your phone started ringing. You looked at the Caller ID, seeing that it was your brother, Lucas. You gave them all a death glare, picking up your phone and going into the other room.

"Hey, amigo, what's up?" You asked.

"Uh, bad news, chica," Lucas sighed. "Oh?" You raised a brow.

"Yeah, turns out that Darryl can't make the cake or the cupcakes today."

You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Your eyes were wide as saucers as you thought of what to say.

"Y/n? Please say something," Luca begged.

You turned your head, your face screwing up in guilt and anger as you saw Lizzie and Josie playing with Bonnie and Stefan. You turned back and focused on the conversation you were having with you very trusting brother.

"¿Qué quiere decir Darryl no puede hacer el pastel o cupcakes?"

[What do you mean darryl can't make the cake or cupcakes?"]

"I mean that he can't make them. Do I need to explain to you what those words mean? And why are you speaking in Spanish? Afraid someone will —"

"En realidad, lo soy, Lucas. Dios, eres tan poco confiable. ¡Y ese amigo tuyo! Espera, ¿podría recuperar mi dinero?"

["Actually, I am, Lucas. God, you are so unreliable. And that friend of yours! Wait, am I going to be able to get my money back?"]

"Um… probably not. But it's okay, I'll pay you back!"

"Ah, ¿cuándo? ¿Después de sacar dinero del fondo universitario de su hijo? ¿O se lo van a pedir a mamá y papá esta vez?"

["Oh, when? After you take out money from your child's college fund? Or are you going to ask mom and dad for it this time?"]

"Hey, don't blame me! Blame Darryl. All I did was hook you up with him!"

"Y probablemente sabías que era un gilipollas mentiroso y que robaba dinero. Llámame de vuelta cuando seas capaz de no mentirme, ¿sí?"

["And you probably knew that he was a lying, money-stealing asshole. Call me back when you're able to not lie to me, yeah?"]

"Wait, Y/n, I-"

You hung up the phone, throwing it on the chair next to you. You groaned quietly, the bridge of your nose burning as tears welled up in your eyes.

"¿Cómo puedes ser tan estúpido, Y/n? Confiando en él después de todo lo demás que ha hecho. Estúpido, estúpido, estúpido!"

["How can you be so stupid, Y/n? Trusting him after everything else he's done. Stupid, stupid, stupid!"]

Stefan, who was throwing up Lizzie and Josie in the air, heard your mutters in the other room. He frowned and put the girls down, promising them that he would be back in a second after checking up on you. He walked into the next room slowly, putting his arm around you lightly.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

You jumped at his voice and touch, sniffling and wiping the tears from your face. "Y-Yeah. Just some um, family stuff."

"Want to talk about it?" Stefan asked.

You sighed, turning around to him. His hand intertwined with yours, squeezing it for support.

"It's just… Lucas. He's just so… jodidamente molesto," you sighed. "Él simplemente no piensa en otras personas y las consecuencias. Quiero decir, trata de ayudar, lo que es agradable, pero siempre termina por pagar dinero a la gente, o termina por tener un ojo negro."

[“He is just so… fucking annoying. He just doesn't think about other people and the consequences. I mean, he tries to help, which is nice, but he always either ends up owing people money, or ends up having a black eye.”]

"O-Oh, yeah," Stefan nodded, his brows furrowed as he tried to understand. But you were speaking so fast and with so much anger, he barely picked up a word.

"Y como su hermana mayor, sé que probablemente se supone que voy fácil con él, pero es un hombre crecido. ¡Debe saber estas cosas! Ugh, sabía que debería haber ordenado a ellos como, Target o algo, pero el amigo de su “aparentemente” es capaz de hacer diseños realmente lindos y hacer arte fondant en tiempo récord, así que tomé mis mis oportunidades. ¿Y adivina dónde estoy ahora?"

[“And as his older sister, I know I'm probably supposed to go easy on him, but he's a grown man. He should know these things! Ugh, I knew I should've just ordered them from like, Target or something, but hsi friend "apparently" is able to do really cute designs and make fondant art in record time, so I took my chances. And guess where I am now?”]

"Right, right. Wow, I'm sorry, babe, I —"

"Ciento cincuenta dólares cortos con dos niñas que van a estar tristes cuando no consiguen su pastel de sirena barbie y cupcakes con temática de Minecraft. ¡Argh!"

["One hundred and fifty dollars short with two little girls who are going to be sad when they don't get their Barbie Mermaid cake and Minecraft-themed cupcakes. Argh!"]

You stopped your rant when you noticed Stefan looked at you with a confused expression on his face. You thought for a moment to yourself, beginning to laugh at yourself as you realised you were speaking in Spanish.

"I'm sorry, Stef. I didn't realise you couldn't understand me."

He smiled and shrugged. "No worries. At least you were able to get it all out, right?"

"A little. When I punch Lucas, I'll be able to get it all out," you grinned.

"That's my girl."

————

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