#anyway have this jdjdj
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Yeah i got to work as fast as i could after you answered
@wayfayrr
#mushie speaks#mushie draws#wow that’s a rare tag from me#anyway have this jdjdj#lu tears#shroom sketches are built for speed#get jumpscared lmao
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Ok so. Since this is also the Davrin romance run.
I have a very specific party dynamic in mind cjdjn let's see what actually happens
#i as a person am incapable of flirting with multiple characters in a game unless i know there's polyamory#because i don't have the emotional strength to risk the pixels on my screen being sad#BUT IN MY HEART-#in this version of events Rynn flirts with Lucanis a little anyway#doesn't see it reciprocated really - assumes he's not interested and moves on to shoot his shot w Davrin when he joins#pov he actually was interested. spite pov YOU LET THE FUN ONE GET AWAY????#that's the one little interaction i have in my head jdjdj#not in a 'lamenting the loss of a chance with this super special oc for extended periods of time' way#but like. you know. a tiny funny moment. (i think exclusively in comic strips can you tell)#generally im not sure how this will work out- in the sense that this romance will be a surprise too#and if it's as slow paced as Lucanis i might have doubts midway again 😭#but no i shall commit to warden x warden i promise.#i need to co-parent that griffon stat#(and also Rynn and Davrin just work very well together jxjdjdh as friends at least. let's see as partners)#riv plays dav
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preparing myself for the inevitable continued discourse when leaf fans get bored over the next couple days about how our top players don't step up when we need them to.. despite this being the playoff point count after 4 games for every team fbnfn
#like fucking help me fr#the narrative going into tonight was that mitch doesnt have a 'presence' out there#despite having 8 points fbndnfkdlfhdkfn ???#anyway theyre worth every penny idgaf#ur whole team needs to step up as a whole to win these games and they have#and theyre clearly driven enough that that attitude trickles down n stays w everyone in the tesn#team** til the dying seconds of games like lollllllll theyre doin it#me preparing my arguments in advance#i rlly thought some takes were so ridic#watching ppl say mitch did nothing all game just to see him#come out on top in every way like sorry but he runs the show#its just not the kind of playoff shit u personally wanna see like hits lmfosfjjdjd#i love u leafs i love u core six i love u i love u#showing UP when we need them#i cant sleep guys god JDJDJ IM DYIN
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at this point in my life it’s lowkey impossible for me to enjoy anything if I can’t make it queer
#Star Wars is the gayest media I’ve ever consumed cuz I said so#what does that say about me ??#I’ve found myself not wanting to interact with people who don’t understand my references or jokes#and ofc you don’t have to but I’m so in my head I think damn should I have even said that#did that offend anyone#all bc they didn’t get it#and I usually wouldn’t care what they think but when it comes to my humor and references that make sense to me#I overthink#and making it queer is literally who I am#anyways#jdjdj#queer#nobie does stuff
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Proof of life, pls?
Hey there!! ik i have been totally mia for a while but I'm doing good. I've just been busy (all good things) and I kinda only lurk around online before bed 😭 mainly I'm just waiting for succession n ted lasso to come back and then yall r gonna see me lose my mind on here again lmao
#i dont wanna be all emo but life has been GOOD lately and the past year was all worth the struggle of finally getting to this point#like i genuinely felt so hopeless and now I'm living on my own and I'm doing so many things i enjoy n i met the most amazing ppl#and i am just grateful asf JDJDJ like it DOES get better#anyways#i promise i will update hmwhm very soon#and post the other 6 wips in my drafts#yall want a s11 mer goes to LA au?#carol 2015 au?#the handmaid's tale au?#neighbors au?#random s3 affair au?#lawyer au?#i have them all in my drafts begging me to edit them but my concentration span is SO weak#ask
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#going to mention panick attacks later#fanz.txt#so i've been feeling sick for a while#like since October?? i was a little vetter in November but i think since late january#there hasnt been a week in which i havent felt sick at least twice ??#got like pretty bad i had to leave uni home earlier than i planned to to go home#went to a heart doctor but things are fine apparently#and then i got another terrible sick day and i was so sick my parents had to come get me at 2am (they got here around 4)#so like idk what it is but one of like the biggest option ?? like is ✨ anxiety ✨#my mom is convinced ive been having panic attacks and i went to my old therapist and she also said they could be panic attacks#but i dont get it why would i be getting panic attacks LIKE miss ma'am what are you doing#anyways i dont know i dont understand but i am once again sick and i wanted to share my story w someone jdjdj
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marco x his partners headcanons fhdh
Marco x Kevin
-Actually very clingy to each other- I like to think if they are around the hold hands without thinking or kevin has a hand on his back and marco has a hand on his waist or whatever whatever
-Mostly spends time just cuddling and rambling- They can spend GOD DAMN HOURS talking- well mostly marco but still!!
-Kevin is the more calm one out of the two which is..oddly surprising lmao- Hes always making sure marco doesnt wonder off or do something stupid (kevin looked away from marco for a second and he broke his arm trying to jump over a fence smh.)
-Kevin for the first few weeks dating marco is very meh about him- BUT OMFG when he realizes "ok i do actually like him and hes super sweet-" hes just has this moment where he hanging out with marco and apologizing for being somewhat a lil asshole and he actually for the first time says "I love you very much" AND MARCO JUST A BIG GIGGLING MESS TRYING NOT TO CRY DHDJ
Marco X Radford
-Funny enough marco is a big listener to radford and just loves listening to him- even if he gives short "mhms" or hums he does pay attention to him and since he does he easily remembers radford favorite stuff and can easily read him lile a book-
-I ACTUALLY HC THEM IN THEIR FREETIMES THEY ARE VIDEO GAME STREAMERS!! RADFORD IS USUALLY THE GUEST STAR WHILE MARCO IS THE ONE PLAYING THE GAMES!! marco never played any games so radford thought it be sweet to just let him have fun!! He fucks marco up so easily with his jokes and shit-
-BOTH AFFECTION MONSTERS- THEY LOVE GIVING EACHOTHER KISSES AND HUGS EVEN IN PUBLIC- They arent even trying to show off they just that gay-
-CLOSE TO ROBERT AND JOHN BC OF THIS SOMWWHAT. hes very sweet to robert and sorta spoils him when he can- meanwhile he respects john so much! He doesnt steal him or jacks things and sorta see him as a weird father figure since i like to think john is very close to his family so hes like..somewhat like a father to them so ofc marco going to respect him!!
Marco X Streber
-PARTNERS IN CRIMEEE!! THEYVARE CHAPTIC LIL TROUBLE MAKERS!! where you think streber got it from??/silly
-Hc streber as a guy who loves crossdressing streber and marco would shop together for dresses and makeup and stuff like that!!
-Streber is a big old gift giver and it makes marco feels bad but streber always says "its fine! You give me lots of hugs! its only fair!" He loves the gifts he gets from streber and feels honored!
-Knows strebers coworkers and they are all very supportive of marco!! They actually sorta offered marco to work with them if he had free time next halloween! he actually took up the offer and scared some kids near the end of the tour- he was a scarecrow and was very still so kids walking around would assume hes a prop!! God he got some kids good-
Marco X Rick
-rick is very affectionate even if he doesnt seem like it!! He alwaus wrapped his arms around marco and resting his head in his hair just chilling-
-THEY ACT LIKE HUSBAND AND WIFE SO EASILY ITS CRAZY RHDJC legit its so fucking sweet
-Marco always picks up his partners but cant pick up rick- SO RICK BEING A TINY CHEEKY BASTA4D will pick him up sometimes and hold him bridal style and marco always freezes as he hides his head in his chest just embarrassed
-MARCO IS THE ONE TO SPOIL RICK A FUCK TON!! he alwyas trying to make him things and always taking him out in the woods to collect rocks and hang out with him!! he always smiles slightly when marco brings him oit and they have a day togehtwr ♡♡♡♡
anyways thats it for marco x wagegang imma ramble about today jdjdj
taglist: @totally-not-a-tickle-blog @jonesy-squish
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The Ascension, and What Came After
A quick drabble about what exactly happened to Ending’s eye and what caused their eventual state of disrepair
Trigger warning for severe injury, panic attack, mental breakdown, self harm, and just general Ending things JDJDJ
The cycle ends like any other cycle. When the sun sets behind looming jungle leaves Ending activates their rain cycle. They have dozens of windows open: all the highlights of their current simulations and projects. They close some processes until later, they set all creatures into idle stasis, then they save all their current progress. It’s easy. It’s routine. Of course, they are being nagged to go rest. When was the last time they activated torpidity? They could just check the logs, but sometimes it’s more fun just to guess. It keeps things fresh. SOLA has always worried, but Ending does try to rest when they feel it’s necessary
And convenient
And…
Bip bip bip. More messages telling them to sleep. Yeah alright, they’re going. They chuckle and send each member a reassuring message. Yes they’re going. Yes they’re actually sleeping. Yes they’re turning off everything. All of you are so suspicious-
In all honesty they don’t quite want to yet. They’ve heard around in secret chats that the ancients are planning something the next morning. It’s said to be a mass ascension consisting of the entire global population. Just the thought electrifies them with confusion and morbid curiosity. They want to watch the carnage. They want to see the ripple effect tear across the entire planet. Imagine all the karma data they could collect!!
It’s so odd though… They hadn’t gotten word of a triple affirmative, yet the ancients are leaving anyways?
…what does that mean for them? For any iterator out there? Did anyone think about what to do once the iterators have done their job?
Bah. That’s not something Ending should be thinking about. They have a job to do, and they’ll work toward it to the end, no matter what
Bip bip. Yes, they’re goinggg,, They’re just tying up a few loose ends. They’re a massive supercomputer after all. So many things to put away. Learn some patience. They can practically hear the sigh of relief behind SOLA screens when they finally say they’re logging off. Goodnight everyone
Goodnight, Ending.
Then they shut everything down, and let torpidity slip them away.
…
And when they awaken again, their vision rings white hot with pain. Everything is wrong. Everything is broken. They can’t feel their hands, their legs, their chest, yet it all burns. Their entire superstructure is tilting tilting curving snapping. Alarms blare like the gongs of death and it only adds to the agony. They can’t move. Their body spasms as another roar tears through them. They can’t… move…… their head……….. Something is in something is something something IS IN THEIR EYE IN THEIR EYE IN THEIR GET IT OUT GET OUT OUT OUT!! They can feel it in their eye in their head in their head in their head. Every movement rocks their body with horrid twitching and molten pain, both in their puppet and their entire superstructure. It is inside their head. Its end is sharp and it is digging into their brain and splintering it like glass. Numb are their fingers as they reach. Grasp. Scrape for for for forrrr their hand phases through. Or does it?? It’s so hard to see. Everything is melting melting mmmmelting. They don’t know where their puppet is. They can’t feel it through the massive distress that torments their entire body. The mass amounts of errors and alarms are overwhelming their system just as much as the anguish. They can’t think they can’t think they can’t-
The ground booms and shudders from below, and they shut down again before the ripple effect can reach them.
Something… aches. Everything… aches. When they… move? it gets worse. Like there’s a needle in their in their in their- Stop moving. They do, and the awful eases back into a dull groan. That’s better… It’s.. tolerable. Alarms still blare around them like frantic drones, but Ending can’t make any sense of them. Like static and noise, it all blends together into the same splintering pain. They’re so tired…
Time blends together like void stirred with one hand. Not even moving can make it shudder now. They drift aimlessly in their broken, hazy thoughts. It’s easier… easier than focusing on the the the they don’t know what it is. Something in their.. puppet chamber. Without barely even realizing, they try and move their puppet from a distance
And in an instant, their focus snap, twists, and collapses entirely into the center of their puppet. They can’t even scream from the needle driven agony that follows. When did they lose their voice? But finally, finally they can feel what is in their head. Twitching and shaking, their hand drifts from where it hangs at their puppet all the way up to… but it stops. It’s hindered by… a piece of…. their own chamber? But that makes no sense…. They try to blink open their eyes but one is clouded with red and the other… the other won’t register at all. Their hand trails the broken piece closer and closer toward their head. It’s wet and sticky. Warm, yet they can barely feel it through their unsteady fingers. All the way up, until their hand finally feels their face. Feels their eye. Feels the broken piece jutting into their skull.
In a fit of horrified desperation, Ending screams and lurches backward. Like a taut string snapped, their head implodes with pain and splintering distortions. The scraping of metal and squelching of blood is sickening as they pull on their own head like a wild animal. One, and a pearl splinters with pain. Two, and glass falls on the floor like solid tears. Three, and they’re free
Along with many broken pieces that spill from a hole in their head
They blink down in a pain drunken haze. No. Nononono- A staticky wail tears from their throat as they bend down over the pieces. They can’t think they can’t think but ohh oh no oh no they’re broken. They broke themself. Look at this mess, they need to fix it. Please. They can fix it. Trembling, they desperately pick up the broken glass and hold it up with fingers that can barely move. They can fix it. They can… they… They shove the glass back into the hole of their eye. The jagged pieces cut their fingers until they bleed, yet they can’t stop digging in. It hurts. It hurts. Glass shards rattle against metal and pierce cords and sensors alike. It turns the roar in their head to a scream. A shriek. A wail.
But. But once they’re back in it’ll be fine. It’ll be okay. They’ll have their eye back and then everything will be okay.
It’s okay. The pain will go away soon….
Ending needs to message their group. They must be so worried about them. Ending needs to message their group. They must be so worried about them||
Ending needs to message their group. But their head feels a million miles away…
#ooc#rain world#iterator oc#nrd#drabble#So I might’ve#written something#since ibfont think I’ll ever make comic pages for it#when your brain kills your motivation to draw but not to write#heehoo#tw s/h#tw self harm#Tw severe injury
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Jdjdjs
Beverly is Skid and Wilbur is Pump btw
So it sort of all begins in this au when Skid abruptly moves back into his town at the age of 19 upon hearing about this cult that people are just now starting to know about and sees this as an opportunity to show off his skills—so of course he moves back, but is mainly in search of this guy called Wilbur who he heard of back in his college and who also was sus of the cult—not knowing that it's Pump, his childhood friend.
He ends up seeing Wilbur when he gets to the town, excitedly goes up to him and starts basically asking him a bunch of questions, which causes Wilbur to be like "...uhhhh okay man sure". They realize it is the other at some point and do have a bit of a reunion. However, Pump is sort of afraid to do anything himself about the cult because he's not that equipped with power like the government. While Skid/Beverly wants to take the reigns, literally sneak into the cult and sabotage them somehow—or at least find a way to take them down.
Beverly ends up meeting some new friends of his though—who annoy Wilbur to no end but whom seem to be on Beverly's side of things. Sooo this leads into the 'Cult' arc where Beverly and his friends end up going off on the sidelines to take the cult down. They attack them continously, help some members escape, have one of them sneak in and give them info the cult said, etc. Wilbur is helping out reluctantly as well—but is starting to sort of get irritated because Beverly seems to be pretty well liked/approved of by the higher ups in the government after rather 'passionately' (aggressively) convincing them to do something about the cult. And also because despite Wilbur's own method of doing things, Beverly always seems to achieve what he wants anyway.
(Stopping so ya can read)
Pump ur jealous is showing😭😭/silly
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HAPPY DAY CHASEEEEEeeEE i hope and wish you have a great time (leaving aside your headache) i didn't know what to give you sooo im so sorry ToT JSKDJAK anyway, eat a lot of cake! if you like it of course jdjdj🥳🥳💖💖💖‼️ feliz cumple
thank you so so much!!!
you don’t have to give me anything!!!!
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Jdjdjs
Cam: "Heh.. that was a rough wait. Anyway, wanna go back home—"
Tom: "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!"
Cam: "..wha—"
Tom: "YOU LITERALLY JUST ALMOST GOT YOURSELF KILLED BY DOING THAT! YOU NEARLY LEFT YOURSELF OUT THERE! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN CRUSHED!"
Cam: "..so?"
HAH
I'm sorry but the "so?" is so funny kjsnkjdsn, dude really doesn't care if he dies
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I... I actually can't remember if Xin Mo was ever recognized by the characters besides TLJ, but I think some demon characters did? I don't think any human cultivators knew about Xin Mo, though. Binghe carried the sword around always and never hid its appearance, so I think the most cultivators knew was "wow, this sword has a horrible vibe."
As for the whole Xin Mo and Binghe thing, I don't think it would've mattered to the cultivators in anyway. So what if he was controlled? He's still a demon.
A lot of the conflict in SVSSS comes from the explicit prejudice cultivators have about demons being inherently evil, I don't think they'd hold much sympathy for Binghe.
And, as much as I love my baby boy Bingy, he definitely wasn't 100% innocent in his actions with Xin Mo. A lot of things were just made worse by Xin Mo's influence. Imagine taking anxiety medication, but instead of reducing your anxiety the meds actually amplify it.
That's essentially what Xin Mo did to Binghe; taking all his worst thoughts and fears and twisting them into something so much worse and tangible.
A lot of Binghe's actions in the story either stem from trauma and Xin Mo amplifying all that.
Ngl, it's one of the reasons I love Binghe. I just think he represents the worst of mental illness so well in a way I just can't find the words to describe.
Like, you see his actions and his fears and you can't help but relate to them... Can't help but look back at the times you were at your lowest and thought the exact same things.
Or maybe not JDJDJ but that was my experience with Binghe and why I love him so much.
does it say anywhere in svsss whether or not the "legendary Xin Mo" is actually legendary? like are the other peak lords aware Luo Binghe was possessed for 80% of canon events? do they know he was being manipulated by an evil sentient sword or
#did not mean to ramble#i am so sorry i basically started mansplaining to u 😔 i just couldn't helo myself from talking about bingy...#svsss#scum villain's self saving system#人渣反派自救系统#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#bingqiu#anyways dont take this post as a facg about bingy's character#im just adding my own 2 cents and what i think about it all and how i see it c:#its also almost midnight and im lazy and dont want to get up to cross reference da books
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wings au will be long term chaptered so thats not starting until hmc au is . over
#n ; thoughts#maybe ??? i just . only rly need one at a time . if that changes than this changes JDHDHDH#might start plotting as ideas come anyway lol#a few others will wait 2 like hades Persephone mob au ?? becus that is . something i want to go Deeeeeeeeeeep into#im plotting that one more actively#but it is also long form (at the moment)#the kind of thing i want to Start and Finish and not just post one chapter of and then update like 6-12 months later JSISSISJSKSJ#a lot of fic needs a lot of time <3#once hmc au is closer to being over or just over ill add another long form chaptered fic JFJDJDJ#fairy thing too ?? im thinking i can condense thst into smth short and sweet or a 5k monster oneshot that i never think about again . JDJDJ#i dont think that has 2 be long form#many fic ideas dont benefit from being long#but some have 2 be or they just have farrr too much wasted potential#like the mob hades persephone au fjdjdj#i cant even think about it properly becus theres so fucking much to hmc au#just need 2 focus on one at a time
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guess who got art block again ❤️❤️❤️ heres some doodles from the week 🧍♀️ some of it is just the event bc they were menaces
#i couldn't draw anything bc school </3#how do you guys keep having ideas#i might delete this bc i now hate it and it looks very sloppy 💔#jdjdj ALSO the book scene for satan?!?!? why was that so funny#guys he was gonna be flat stanly :(#pancake ya know#also their halloween costumes??? very cute i cried#anyways im also on a male persona high and am in love w/ him like#omg my beloved he is so ♡
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goodnight <3
#🌙#i promised to be more present on here butt bc it’s the holiday and im staying at my grandparents house i’ve been so busy JDJDJ#i’m so sorry !!!!!!!! next week will be perfect i promise !!!!!#if you’ve messaged me or sent me an ask and i haven’t gotten to it yet i’m just exhausted okay? and i promise i’ll get to it tomorrow <3#im going out to breakfast tomorrow with my little cousin and im so excited :’)#it’s been …… so so nice to be here instead of stressing at uni 🥺#anyways !!!! i hope everyone is having a safe and wonderful week okay !! relax tomorrow for me <3#goodnight and sleep well !!! 💞💕💖💓💘💗
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ugly kid culture is being constantly terrified of pretty, nice, sweet, well-behaved girls because you were viciously bullied by them when you were a kid and they never faced consequences because they were so beloved by the adults and skilled at convincing people of their innocence
#oh we're unpacking TRAUMA tonight folks#anyway opal beifong from lok inspired this post#the way i have distanced myself from some actually very nice and genuine people just bc interacting with them dredges up too much trauma#maybe i should see a therapist about this lmaooaosoe#i am like legitimately rolling around in horrible memories rn jdjdjs#ugly kid#mental health#trauma#bullying
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