#anyway going to think about it alllllll day now

[missygoesmeow]

I had a dream about Rolan last night. It was very beauty and the beast lmao

[kimpossibly]

THE CHAIN -> e. roundtree PART ONE: drummers' curse

PAIRING: eddie roundtree x fem!reader WARNINGS: mentions of minor injuries (NOTE: some warnings for this story include MAJOR spoilers for this series down the line, so I'll put those beneath the cut. If you don't want to get the story spoiled, then just ignore it ― but I did want to provide the chance for you to get an idea of how the story will go later down the line if you have any sensitive topics you'd like to avoid. please prioritize your mental wellbeing!)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Apologies in advance for making Y/n the drummer and putting Warren on rhythmic guitar. I just loooooooove female drummers. Also can you tell that I love Karen and Camila? Because I love them with alllllll my heart and soul. Another sorry in advance because this one may break your heart a little ― it sure broke mine. NOTES ON THE WORK: I used the timeline from the book, mostly because I couldn't keep track of it in the show haha. I read the book twice before watching what episodes of the show were out, so the lines may blur between the two. For your convenience (and mine, tbh), I'll put the year all the characters were born underneath this note so you can reference it when you need to. I just couldn't keep track honestly. I think in the show they start the band when Graham is fourteen, but in the book he's around 18 when they add Warren on, so it's kind of confusing?? I decided to stick with the book because it was a more physical timeline. Anyways, enough talking, here's your guide! ― YEARS BORN (in order of age) Billy Dunne -> 1947 Camila Dunne -> 1949 Graham Dunne -> 1949 Warren Rhodes -> 1949 Eddie Roundtree -> 1949 Daisy Jones -> 1951 Y/n L/n -> 1951

WARNINGS (SPOILERS INCLUDED): reader has a terminal illness. Discussions about death and loss, depictions of grief, hospitals

It's no secret that the renowned 1970s band Daisy Jones & The Six went through its fair share of ups and downs. Until their inexplicable split on July 12, 1979, they were undeniably one of the biggest bands in the world. While a more detailed account of the band's history will be recounted in a more thorough transcript, this advanced edition will focus specifically on two of the band members: Eddie Roundtree and Y/n L/n. More specifically, it will focus on their individual and combined roles they played in the band's eventual downfall.

THE RISE OF THE SIX (1965 - 1972)

GRAHAM: Y/n grew up next door to us. She was a little younger, two years or so, so we never really gave her a second look. Until the day she wandered into our garage during band practice out of nowhere. She practically ripped the drum sticks out of Chuck's hand and just started...wailing on 'em. I mean, she could make your head spin. Here was this thirteen, fourteen year old girl next door, this kid, and she was the best fuckin' drummer we'd seen. I mean, in the neighborhood. She wasn't Mitch Mitchell, but she was the closest thing we had. And she was too good to be shoved in the back with a tambourine. But we couldn't just take Chuck's spot away and hand it over to the new girl.

CHUCK: I knew right then and there that they wanted to give my spot to the new girl. There was no doubt in my mind. And, you know what? I got it. This chick was good. Way too good. Did I feel threatened by her? Hell yeah, I did. And at the time I probably wanted to tell her to screw off, but now...now I get it.

EDDIE: She was good. Amazing, actually. Graham and I looked at each other and knew that she was something we'd be stupid to pass up on.

BILLY: When Chuck told us he wanted out, we were pissed, of course. We were heading off to open for Winters that week. It felt like things were going to look up, just like I always knew they would, and he was ditching. I know now that that wasn't really what it was ― he'd gotten into college, fan-fucking-tastic. It was a good opportunity for him, a sure thing. But right then it felt like a betrayal.

WARREN: So he ditched, and Billy just turned right to Eddie and said, "Go tell Y/n she's in." And he was just...terrified.

EDDIE: I said, "why me?" You know? It wasn't my band, it was Billy's. And here he was, ordering me to tell some new girl she was in. I was fifteen and could barely ask a waitress for ketchup. At the time, that was probably the last thing I wanted to do.

GRAHAM: He asked why it had to be him, and I told him the truth: he was the least intimidating. Billy, you know him. He had a tendency to get too focused on the task at hand and could get a little...harsh. And Warren? He had one of the biggest personalities you could find. He'd scare her off before we had a chance to offer her the spot...[Pauses] I probably could've done it, in all honesty. I just didn't want to screw it up. Eddie was better with words than I was, and we needed her in our band. Badly.

EDDIE: And I remember thinking, "Here goes fucking nothing."

The doorbell ringing was what got her attention. No one ever used the doorbell. It was always a knock ― that, or someone just walked in. The L/n's front door was hardly ever locked back then. Y/n's mom was a nurse, formerly a school nurse. She didn't want to risk the chance that some kid took a spill and had to limp home on an injured leg. So all the neighborhood knew, if you got hurt playing outside, you could march on over to Miss L/n's place to get yourself fixed up.

Y/n had her own share of walk-ins, too. By the time she was ten, she had seen her mom help out enough kids that she was practically a nurse herself. She could disinfect and bandage and stitch up any old case that walked through her front door. And if someone who was too busted up for first aid? She knew where the keys to the family Winnebago was and how to drive herself and them to the local hospital. She was only fourteen and didn't have a license, but it didn't matter. She was a safer driver than most everyone else on the road.

So when someone rang the doorbell, she assumed that it was someone too injured to knock. She grabbed the car keys and made sure her suture kit was within reach.

When she opened the door, she didn't see the blood and broken bones she was expecting. Instead, Eddie Roundtree stood on her front porch, hands shoved anxiously in his pockets. He looked all right, but that didn't stop her from asking: "You're not hurt, are you?"

"Um. No," Eddie said quickly, taking his hands out of his pockets.

"Okay," she said slowly, eyes narrowing. "Do you want to come in?"

"Yeah, sure."

Y/n turned and walked further into the house, prompting him to close the door and follow her. She led him to the kitchen. "Lemonade? I made it this morning," she offered, already opening the fridge.

EDDIE: That jug of lemonade was bigger than she was. [Laughs] I could barely watch her get it down. I was afraid she'd drop it on her foot. But she just took her time getting it from the fridge to the table. I found out later that her mom bought a pound of lemons a week because Y/n wanted something to offer every kid that came through their front door. [Pauses]. She was just like that.

He gave a nod. Y/n stood on her toes to grab two glasses from the cabinet. She poured one glass, hands shaking from the weight of the jug, and Eddie realized that this awkward silence was probably the best time to transition into his real reason for visiting.

"Chuck left the band."

"Oh," she said simply. "Sorry."

"Don't be."

She paused, looking confused. And Eddie, who's will to live was slowly draining from this conversation alone, raced to finish what he had (awkwardly) started.

"I just mean that...you're in. The band. If you want to be our drummer, you're in."

Y/n paused mid-pour, setting the pitcher down on the counter carefully. She turned around until her back pressed into the kitchen counter, arms crossed over her chest. "And you thought I'd jump at the chance to join?"

"No. No," Eddie said quickly. "We just wanted to offer you the spot if you still wanted it."

"Did I say that I wanted it?"

"No, but―"

"Okay, just making sure," she handed him a glass and hopped up onto the counter, crossing her legs underneath her. "So you need a drummer?"

"Yes. Badly."

She took a sip from her glass and paused, as if weighing her options in her mind. She swallowed. "Are there any other girls in the band yet?"

EDDIE: Yet. Like she knew it was going to happen. It was just a matter of time.

"No, not yet." he replied.

"Then be honest with me: are you guys sleazeballs?"

EDDIE: Sleazeballs. She didn't sugarcoat things. She wanted to know if we were creeps or if we'd let her play drums in peace. I get that, one hundred percent. but back then, it felt like she was trying to accuse us of something.

"No," he said quickly, "Well...Warren can be a little much, but he means well."

She took another slow sip, once again weighing her options in her mind. "When's your next gig?"

"We play pretty much every night, wherever we can find. It might take us a bit to teach you the songs, but―"

"I can learn them," she said confidently. "How soon do you need someone?"

"Soon as possible."

EDDIE: By then, I was terrified she'd say no. All these questions and never once did she seem really interested in joining. I was already trying to figure out which of us would be the least shit at the drums.

"Okay. I'm in."

EDDIE: And that was it. She said yes. I didn't appreciate how much she'd saved our asses right then, but I was relieved. That was for sure.

GRAHAM: Eddie came back, told us she said yes. She couldn't join practice until her mom got home ― she didn't want the house to be empty if some injured kid wandered by ― so we had about an hour and a half to teach her every song.

BILLY: She picked 'em up like [snaps] that. Never doubted it for a single second, either. Once she knew it, she knew it.

EDDIE: She showed up to the first gig in overalls and sneakers. She let Camila put a little makeup on her, too, but we could all tell she hated it.

CAMILA: She was sweet. And, surprisingly, a little shy. I could tell she was a little scared of the boys. That's why she was a little cold to them at first. But she was just the coolest kid. I mean, fourteen years old and joining a rock band? She was a little rockstar, right off the bat. She asked me to put some makeup on her before her first gig with the band. When I gave her a mirror after and asked her what she thought, she said, "I like it, but it makes me feel like a doll. Not a drummer." She liked the glitter the most, though. It became her trademark. She put it on her cheeks, in her hair, everywhere that would catch the light. She'd come off stage and you'd see a little pile of sparkles behind the drum set.

EDDIE: Right off the bat, first gig. It was enough to freak anyone out. She joined the band six hours ago, learned the songs three hours ago, and now she was playing in a club to a couple dozen people. It seems so small now, but back then? It was like starting at Wembley.

Y/n shook out her hands for the eighth time. It wasn't about loosening up for the gig anymore, she just needed something to do that didn't involve throwing a punch or screaming at the top of her lungs. She looked up at Billy, standing at the front of the group, cool and calm as ever, and she had the distinct urge to kick him in the shin. Why did he get to be so calm when she was right behind him, on the verge of throwing up?

She turned to anxiously twisting a single drum stick between her fingers, around and around, faster and faster. Eventually it became so mindless that she barely noticed as the stick slipped from her fingers, clattering to the floor. She bent to retrieve it quickly, hoping no one had noticed.

But, of course, someone did.

"Hey," Eddie said, looking back at her.

"Warren knocked it out of my hands." she said quickly.

Eddie glanced over at Warren, who was a solid two feet ahead of her, physically unable to have knocked a drum stick out of her hands. Y/n knew from that glance that he could see right through her lie. Now she really wasn't in the mood to talk.

EDDIE: She was terrified. And she was lying her ass off about it. I didn't want to run the risk that she choked up in the middle of the show and screwed up our set. So I figured I'd just, talk. And if she wanted me to screw off, she'd tell me. She had a way of saying exactly what she wanted.

"You've heard of the Drummer's Curse, right?" he asked.

She frowned in a way that told him no, she did not.

"First, there's the obvious stuff: drummers have to lug around the most shit out of anyone in the band. Drums sets are heavy and expensive, so there's that. But the worst part is that they're easy to overlook, you know? They're at the back of the stage behind all this shit, everyone stands in front of 'em. Drummers can fade into the background real easy. The best drummers can outshine anyone else onstage. You'll do that one day, but if you're freaked out now, just let yourself fade a little. You'll play better than anyone up there and the crowd'll know it, but you can let them focus on someone else if you want. You get what I'm saying?"

EDDIE: For a second, I thought she was going to punch me.

But then she nodded, wiped off some of the pink lipstick Camila had put on her with the back of her hand, and pushed her bangs to the side. "Drummers' Curse, huh?"

"Some people believe in it, some don't."

"And you?" she asked, turning to him. "Do you believe in that kind of stuff?"

Eddie paused. Shrugged. "Sure. Seems true enough to me."

Y/n nodded. "I don't. It sounds like bullshit to me."

Eddie frowned. She looked up at him. "I'm not going to let myself fade because I'm scared. I signed up for this, you know. The least I can do is own my place. If I outshine you, it's just because I'm that good," she said matter-of-factly. "I will need help carrying the stuff, though."

EDDIE: I didn't know what to say. I mean, [laughs] what the hell do you say to that?

He felt like he'd had the rug pulled out from under him. And then, he surprised himself: he laughed.

And Y/n surprised herself then, too ― she smiled.

EDDIE: That was just...[Shakes head. Smiles.] I don't know.

"I think we can manage that." he said with a smile.

"Ladies and gentlemen...The Dunne Brothers!"

WARREN: If I were still the guy I was back then, I would completely undersell her to you right now. I'd tell you she was an average drummer who was more in it for the thrill than the craft. But that wasn't it at all. She got up there and she just...shined.

GRAHAM: We all knew she'd be scared before the first gig. In fact, she looked about ready to throw up when they announced us on stage. But the second she hit those lights, it was like she was a different person. She waved and smiled like she'd done it a hundred times. The only other person I'd seen do that ― I mean really become another person on stage ― is Billy.

BILLY: That first show with Y/n was a little bit of a trainwreck. We were at least a half beat behind the entire show. And I'm not saying I blame her, but she was new and shiny. We got through it just fine, but I think we all felt it wasn't our best show.

WARREN: That show was bitchin'.

GRAHAM: It was a great show.

WARREN: Back in those days, we'd get off stage and start cheering for ourselves like we'd just won the goddamn lottery. Somewhere along the way, that stopped. We'd just pat each other on the back, say 'good job,' and that was that. But when Y/n got backstage? She was screaming and yelling like it was the best night of her life. And all of us joined in without a second thought ― well, maybe all of us except Billy. He was kind of a hard ass, even then. None of us had ever heard this girl talk louder than a glorified whisper, and then she came out of nowhere with this full-body scream. And who did she run to? Well, I think you can guess.

CAMILA: She just about jumped into Eddie's arms.

Adrenaline is a funny thing. For one, the effect is had on different people can be vastly different depending on who it was. Some people mellowed out, some people amped up. Y/n fell into the second category.

The second she got off the stage, a giddy laugh ripped from her chest, turning more into a scream of triumph halfway through. She was buzzing. Literally. Her hands felt numb ― or, more accurately, they felt like they felt more. Everything she touched was sharp and blinding.

The next person to join in on the screaming and jumping around was Warren. Then Graham. Then Eddie. And then, reluctantly, Billy. Eddie was the last to come off stage, slinging his guitar off his shoulders, and Y/n, without thinking much about it, ran straight to him, leaping directly into his unsuspecting arms.

The others were too hyped up on their own adrenaline rushes to notice that anything out of the ordinary had happened. She wrapped her legs around his waist hanging onto him like a koala. And Eddie, who couldn't deny adrenaline, held onto her back without a second thought.

After a moment, she leaned back, arms still wrapped around his neck, faces inches apart. "Drummers' curse, huh?"

EDDIE: She didn't fade. She couldn't, not even if she tried.

Eddie just smiled and shook his head. "Sounds like bullshit to me."

[foureyedfella]

☆ Alright I couldn't help myself I drew headcanon stuff now 💀

☆ So, believe me, I understand that this is like a huge jump- like it should just be an AU and not headcanon but I honestly just kind of see this in Joe so I'm sorry I'm advance 😭 but anyways I've been thinking about Joe's early life/career

☆ I like to think that in the begining of his boxing career he did end up meeting someone, who liked him for who he was outside of the ring! After like 2 years of meeting and dating, they get married :P

☆ Over time, Joe would get more passionate in his boxing career, which Valérie is supportive of, but she just suggests finding a balance between his life and boxing! Joe acknowledged this and tried to not zone in too hard

☆ Unfortunately as time goes on this mindset starts to drop a bit, and Joe is wrapped up in boxing to a considerable degree again

☆ They have minor arguments about this, with both sides not necessarily being wrong which just caused more of a negative debate-

☆ It gets to a point where after some years, Valérie is not having it and gives him the ultimatum: either her or boxing

☆ Joe thought it was a fib 😭😭😭

☆ After a match, he comes home to silence, the silence of his empty home being amplified 10 fold when in comparison to the boxing ring.

☆ reality doesn't quite hit him just yet, and he just waits in the living room, waiting for her to come back through the doors. Couple minutes turn to hours, hours turns into a day. Just himself and his thoughts

☆ Safe to say that reality hit him like a truck soon after, and he was in shambles 😭 his brain just flipped, he would skip training, ignored messages from the WVBA, was just not having it. He would sometimes just sit back in the same spot in the living room from when he first waited for her. Maybe that would be the day she came back, who knows what he was thinking

☆ He was just slowly falling apart, he developed insomnia from the situation and fell into a depression

☆ Like no one had contact with him, he rarely left the house and cut off the WVBA entirely, and seeing as he didn't ever feel involved with anyone else in the first place, it just made him sink into a deeper hole of feeling like he genuinely had nothing at that point

☆ What he wasn't expecting was some of the boxers to show up at his doorstep (they definitely did NOT illegally take Joe's information from the WVBA not at alllllll) who, to his surprise, were actually concerned 😭

☆ Bear Hugger, Bald Bull and Von Kaiser (reluctantly brought because of bear hugger (bro is not a people person)) showed up, and were NOT expecting that giddy ass goofball to be in the state they found him in 😭

☆ This honestly was incredibly beneficial to Joe, who just felt at his lowest. He never told them the specifics of the situation (and to this day hasn't told Bull and Bear Hugger, or anyone but Kaiser) and just explained that he was dealing with something that made him think he should quit boxing altogether. They spent a good chunk of time building up his morale to not give up and to keep going at it!

☆ They left that day exchanging info, with them giving Joe messages daily to get back on his feet and come back again soon. It slowly gave him his footing and after a bit, he would go out again, watch the other boxer's matches.

☆ When he himself finally stepped back into the game, the ruckus from Bear Hugger was honestly nutty 💀 the reception to his return was so positive and it just really helped support him and bring back that dork that first joined the ring ^_^

☆ alright I'll leave that as is for now before I go into a ramble, and like I said this is a huge leap but I appreciate it if you stuck around! :D

[hegoeshardasfuck]

dirty mind

wordcount: 0.7K

tags: sexting, unresolved sexual tension

synopsis: as much he's a good Weapon, he's also a bother sometimes

authors note: written for day 2 of kinktober! might be late to port some of them onto tumblr, but i hope ya'll enjoy!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/59395495

Soul should know better than to reach for his phone as he waits for Death to declare his mission, but it's just so boring being a Death Scythe. He doesn't really ever get wielded by Death anyways, just lounges about. No wonder Spirit ended up spending so much time at Chupa Cabra's.

There's nothing to do except sit and wait.

And bother Maka.

He grins as he takes his leave with a dumb excuse of heading off for a walk. Death doesn't care enough to stop him, he never really used Soul anyways. He much preferred his twin pistols even now.

Soul meanders aimlessly until he finds a hidden little corner he's known of for years now. He drops down on the ground and opens up his phone before texting Maka "hey," with a slutty amount of y's.

yeah soul?

mmmmmmmnothing

bullshit

i just cant wait to get home

?

its sooo boring working for DTK these days, death scythe is not a good job

things were better when your hands were on me 24/7

im flattered

at least we still live together, no? god i cannot imagine living apart

itd be awful

yeah you got plans tonight? the usual

nothing?

nada zilch im free if youre free

someones eager

what do you have in mind? the usual actually wait are you teaching rn?

nope kids are all off on missions

okay great the usual being me fucking you hard

how hard?

stars

what happens if i fuck you? what then? you and i both know theres a strap under the bed, one that you looove to ride on

i doubt you could make me see stars

then gimme more to work with make this conversation something to read back on when youre on the job

alright alright well to start off our night i think i'd eat you out strip you down, piece by piece hold your thighs, one in each hand and work my way up i'd bite

how much?

bloody amounts

hot

now, i'd bite alllllll the way up your thighs not stopping for even a second, not even if you gripped my head by then i'd already be deep in your cunt fingers and tongue, one hand on your ass

so we're seated?

im on the ground

like the dog you are

you know i'd bark for you any day of the week

and you're on the edge of the bed my hands are in your hair pulling you closer

right right, im mashed up against you in the pussy having a great time leaving no scraps behind absolutely eating

soul.

getting off track sorry queen where was i......... right im in the pussy you cum once

im a little bit worn clawing into your scalp

i dont mind it at all when i can finally back away to breath i wipe down my lips then im back on you slowly pushing you down to the bed

slowly?

hastily i am hastily pushing you to the bed not slamming you, but im not going slow this definitely isnt our first time

definitely not

so youre down, laid out before me so pretty and i immediately start kissing on you lips, neck, chest, all of it nothing new but i should touch back on old territory

mhm

one hand on the mattress one hand on your leg usually you do the work ride me peg me fuck me itll be different tonight though

oh? you really think so?

i know it i'll take you so slow its agonizing missionary style too youll be begging before you know it if you thought i was a tease before im beyond unbearable now every single inch of your skin is gonna be mine only my hands will truly know it my lips as well i could go for a few rounds as many as you like no time for breaks in between creampied thoroughly by the end of it all i think thats where i'd call it a day lick you clean, make sure you're perfect we could sleep afterwards or watch a movie

you better hold true to this tonight

we'll see if DTK gets a mission for me might be too worn out if he does

youre a fucking tease

and you love it

i know

[brittvnyc]

THINK PEACE:

How could I stress when I’m this blessed?

I think it’s beautiful that in the middle of confusion you can close your eyes, say a prayer and know in your heart that everything will be okay. It’s such a blessing to be a child of God. No matter the time, the day, or the battle it feels amazing knowing everything is in Gods’ hands. It’s such a BIG flex. I’m only human so yes sometimes, very rarely, I have to look up in confusion and ask what’s going on!!!! Haha, but I’m learning to be cool and just go with the flow. Cause guess what? I can’t do anything about most hiccups in life anyway! Life moves on Gods speed and Gods timing. So you gonna sit back and be a co-pilot or try to take control of something KNOWING that’s not your job? We all know what happens when we try to take control; now we done crashed the plane. I’m good on trying to control every little thing. I’m really over that phase in my life. I guess that comes with maturity and a strong relationship with God. Everything is what it is and ain’t what it ain’t. But nothing I experience in life can ever make me feel like their is no higher power. I have experienced Gods grace, love and protection way too much in my life to act crazy. My life is truly ALLLLLLL GODS WORK. I cannot and will not EVER take any credit. I’m one of his and the proof is in the pudding.

With love, BrittanyC

[ryuseitai]

guuuhhhh i like having short hair but i aloso loovee having long hair thT im able to like. Do stuff with even tho all i do ever is ponytail but shh but also short hair is lowejey like my soulmate. the love of my life and it makes me able to pass sometimes and just in general makes me less dysphoric But then it take forever to siwtch back to long hair. i have like. kind of a mullet rn but kind of subtle i only have a little bit shaved on the sides Which i also need to trim anyways also i need to trim my bangs and the other side parts but i just dont touch the very back os it gets long, which, it is now. not long long but yk But i kind of miss having just all short hair bc its simpler and while my hairstyle really isnt super.. feminine atm the length doesnt help at alllllll earlier i was tweaking bc i couldnt find a hat to wear to cover up my hair Not even to actually go out anywhere just to go to myrgrammas hosue. just really bad dysphoria today for some reason andits making me miss short hair a lot But ive spent sm time growing the back out and i like havng it like that AND literally just last month i went thru sm bull shit to bleach the ends of my hair so i can have them colorful whenever i want but if i cut my hair hsort all of the bleached part will be gone Sigh. i stlil wanna bleach it one more time i did twice and its still just kind of.. medium orangeish brown bc it started from black. i wnana dye it green but like BRIGHT green so i def wanna bleach again first BUT I CANT Do any of that if i cut it short but i also want it short AAHHHH i just need hats really ive been thinking about this as well for months. i have one hat other than my work hat and i like it but its jlike. pink baseball cap w a rainbow on it REALLY CUTE but 1. doesnt cover all my hair 2. i dont rly wear bright colors very often os it clashes w most stuff i wear. i need a plain black beanie for days like this. if only it could just be possible to have 2 completely diff haircuts interchangeable whenevr i want w.o a wig or extensions

[brainrot28]

Electric Feel [Chapter 1]

chapter 1 of my pipabeth fic on ao3 :)

July 4th

POV: Piper

The sun set on Camp Halfblood, painting the lake in an array of pinks, oranges, and yellows. Younger campers ran about, squirming with anticipation of the s'mores soon to come. If tonight's bonfire was anything like last week's, Will was sure to have his hands full in the infirmary. Young demigods [including the 17 year old Percy Jackson], tended to ignore their sugar capacity, and held competitions to see who could eat the most marshmallows. 

Piper dodged the eager children, and made her way across the grass toward the Athena Cabin. She and Annabeth agreed to meet at Cabin 6 and walk to the bonfire together.

Piper began to shiver. It was an unusually chilly night for July; and, her hair still damp from the shower, only added to her growing discomfort. She climbed the worn, wooden steps of the Athena Cabin and knocked on the pale blue door. Annabeth's younger sister came tumbling out the door and into Piper's legs. The small child refused to let go and began bombarding Piper with questions.

"Piper, Piper, Piper! Are you here for Annabeth? She's been talking about meeting you alllllll day" the small camper squealed. Piper was 73% sure that this was 6 year old Andy. The chatty girl arrived with an annoyed satyr at the start of the summer. 

Andy did her best to imitate Annabeth's voice, and she was surprisingly good at it, too. " 'I'm going with Piper to the bonfire tonight', 'What should I wear?', 'None of you better bother me tonight', 'If any of you come to me with stomach aches, so help me gods....'. I'm planning on winning tonight's marshmallow eating competition!"

Piper was quite amused and replied with a smile, "Oh really? How many are you planning on eating?"

"37", Andy replied. "Piper, have you ever watched Zootopia?"

Andy's ability to talk so fast was pretty impressive. "No, what's it about?"

Andy began to rock on her heels, unable to contain her excitement. "This bunny named Judy Hopps becomes a cop even though her family doesn't think she can do it but she does it anyway and then she goes and gets a job as a police officer in Zootopia but they put her on meeter maid duty but she knows she can do more and she ends up trying to solve a mystery with a fox named Nick Wild." By the time she was finished, Andy was out of breath.

Piper was genuinely interested in this movie. She loved animated animal films. "Wow that sounds like a really cool movie! I'll have to watch it with you some time."  

Finally, Annabeth walked out onto the porch. "Oh no. Andy, were you telling Piper about Zootopia?"

"YES! I LOVE ZOOTOPIA!" Andy screeched.

"I am very well aware," Annabeth said with a smile. "Why don't you tell Piper how many times you've watched it in the past week?"

"12. I've watched it 12 times!"

"WOW. That is some true dedication right there," Piper replied.

"Yeah we're all hearing the Zootopia soundtrack in our sleep," Annabeth said with an eye roll. "Andy, why don't you go back inside and put on a sweatshirt for the bonfire. It's pretty cold out here, and last time, you complained the whole time you were cold."

"Only if I can bring your fire blanket. Can I bring your fire blanket?"

"One, I told you to stop calling it the 'fire blanket'. People are going to think I'm a pyromaniac," Annabeth sighed. "And two, only if you say 'please'."

"Ughhh. But 'fire blanket' sounds so menacing. Can I please bring your 'not a fire blanket' to the bonfire?"

"Of course you can. It's on the my bunk." 

Andy scurried back in the cabin, leaving Piper and Annabeth on the porch of the Athena Cabin. 

Annabeth looked at Piper. "What are you smiling about?", the blonde asked.

"mmmm... I'm just excited for tonight. Also, Andy's really cute," Piper replied.

"Yeah, she is. But seriously, I cannot get the Zootopia soundtrack out of my head. I think I know every line from the movie by now," Annabeth said with a chuckle. "Hey, are you going to be warm enough? It's getting pretty cold, and you don't have a jacket or anything. 

"OH MY GODS, Annabeth are you slut shaming me, telling me to cover up? How could you do this to me? I though you were a feminist?"

The look on Annabeth's face was priceless. "WHAT NO NO, that's not how I meant it, I swear. I just meant you might get cold, and you're wearing shorts and a tank top and your hair's wet.. and ... I don't want you to get sick or something. Gods know Will already has enough on his hands."

Annabeth's rare lack of eloquence is always quite the sigh to see. "Geez, take a breath Chase, I was just joking with you. I know you would never object to seeing me in minimal clothing."

Annabeth rolled her eyes and let out a huff. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Do you want to borrow a sweatshirt or not? I should just let you freeze now."

"NOOO please, accept my deepest apologies. May I pretty please borrow a sweatshirt?"

"Fine," Annabeth replied with feigned annoyance. "I'll be right back."

Annabeth returned about 47 seconds later [not that Piper was counting or anything], bearing a dark blue sweatshirt with an embroidered sun on the chest. This was Piper's favorite sweatshirt that belonged to Annabeth. It was well worn, soft, and comfortable. And-bonus points- it smelled like Annabeth, and Annabeth always made her feel safe. 

"Oh, Annabeth, you are my lord and savior. I worship the ground you walk on." 

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Now, let's go, I want to beat the rush of people."

[dashielldeveron]

HRGHH I LOVE THE WHOLE TEACHER STUDENT RELATIONSHIP THING WITH AIZAWA BC OF ITS LIKE FORRIBIDDEN NATURE ANY FIC RECS TOO?? YOU SOULMATE SERIES SLAYED ME

ah. this one is harder bc i teach. teaching pedagogy/ethics/fic recs under cut.

tl;dr: my teaching fucks my view of teacher/student. fic recs at end.

so, as a grad student, i teach at the college level rn, and i've also taught at the high school and middle school levels. and like. i had an interest in teacher/student fics before that and would read anything, picturing myself in the student role, but now that i've been a teacher, it's extremely difficult for me to fully immerse myself in teacher/student bc there's sooooooo much going on to fuck with the relationship.

i address some of this in aizawa's route of soulmate trope itself: how students don't really function fully as People in your brain (i mean of course you are bc you're valuing them as an individual), bc you're always thinking of them as a movable unit in grading and group work. and like. at the end of the day, you are Tired of teaching shit. you don't want to bring work home with you, and, like, you don't want to talk about your students unless someone did something stupid that day.

and i know my experiences are not universal, but i find it hard to identify any students as people i would even want to be friends with irl, let alone something more as profs do in fiction, bc there's SUCH a level of disconnect of power/understanding/stages in life. students are very much Not Your Peers in a traditionally academic setting, and so--for me, at least--that makes it impossible to feel romantic things for a student. but, again, i don't experience everything the same way everyone else does. i know these things happen.

all of that to say that if a fic is strictly student/teacher, it has to fit my silly, extremely specific criteria of "ethical student/teacher," which is, at the fucking minimum, that the student is no longer taking that teacher's class.

so, i mostly read aizawa/reader in which reader either has never been his student or is no longer his student, bc while there's a ton of really sexy stuff out there for current teacher/student, i can't get into those without thinking about work, the on-paper reprecussions, and how much i would never want to get involved romantically/sexually with a guy who's that willing to sacrifice his morals/workplace dynamic. i know. personal preference.

anyway! recs.

@coffee-dessert's absolutely fucking adorable But they're soft... freshly debuted pro-hero aizawa is transformed into a cat by a villain's quirk, and reader takes care of cat!aizawa in her flat. some of the cutest fluff i've ever read and does some wonderful character work with young hero aizawa. also! i adore how it feels distinctly japanese, as opposed to very americanised/westernised as some fics do.

Nothing's Changed by an orphaned account has reader turning into a cat this time! it's part of her quirk, and when it won't turn off, she goes back to her high school friend aizawa to do it. this is soooo feel-good and soft; it's like drinking hot chocolate near a frosty window.

Rakata by L0chnessM0nster (can't find a tumblr; please let me know if you can) is the absolute, most immersive fic i've ever read, no exaggeration. i read this and shut out the entire world. aizawa has a side job as a massuse, and it seemlessly devolves into intense kink shit. this.............awoke things in me.

but if you're really set on student/teacher, i love this kakashi/reader, For the Longest Time, by @whats-her-quirk!! it's from kakashi's POV and constantly rags on his morality and is suuuuuuper caring and hot--plus, it has that added layer of reader wants him to be her first. (non-traditionally-academic teacher/student is much easier for me to get into, and this fic scratches alllllll the itches).

thanks for asking!!! i love sharing things i love!!! xx.

[gnarlyeddy]

I’m back and I got some Front Roe headcanons (I hope that’s not a problem and that it’s not annoying to have multiple weird infodumping about headcanons asks from the same person /gen) and also they’re mostly just speculating on the 3/4 members we know about after Squid Squad which oops uhhh have them anyways hahahaaa

As of Splatoon 3 Ichiya is 24, Namida, is 23 and Murasaki is 19, but Ichiya regularly gets mistaken for a teenager

Murasaki went to collage and learned music theory! Now he can actually read music and makes more complex drum noises! (idk what to call them)

He still cries when he gets super into his performances though (which is/was canon to his character during Squid Squad era)

I don’t have much to say about the unnamed calm person because we don’t know their name, species, what instrument they play, a general idea of their personality or how they ended up in the band, but despite all of that I think that they’re Murasakis collage friend.

I also think they could be a zigzag clam

Ichiya wasn’t able to find a new band and lived off of the money from royalty checks and he ended up falling off the radar (which he was not happy about)

I think that Ichiya took Squid Squad breaking up the hardest because despite his attitude he really did care about the band, but due to his general attitude of “make guitar riffs that look and sound cool without any idea of why they do” made the fact that he wasn’t by himself while making music integral, something he didn’t realize until he started trying to make original tracks alone.

I also like to think he tried to audition for SashiMori to which they said “we already had a domineering and stubborn vocalist last time we’re not doing this shit again”

Namida on the other hand is the only one who actually focused on her solo career and probably made extremely surreal and odd synth tracks for fun

I like to think that since it mentions that Namida “has some knowledge of jazz theory” that she’s friends with and/or a big fan of Ink Theory

Ichiya is trans he is wearing a binder in the Front Roe album cover trust me my uncle works at the Squid Research Lab. If you need any more convincing:

No way to argue with my flawless color picking logic /j

Okok my genuine crackpot theory is that in universe nobody knows that 3/4 members are members of Squid Squad.

None of the reveals for the band even mention it (the reveals are usually treated as an in universe thing)

Their eyes are blacked (greened?) out on their album cover

In the Japanese tweet it’s said that they don’t have a big media presence which seems pretty odd as they’re at the top of the charts (again in universe)

Putting all of this together, I believe that nobody knows that 3/4ths of the members are who they are despite the fact that they’re really bad at hiding it

I saw someone say that Sea Me Now is a thinly veiled Ikkan callout and yes.

YES Sandy Side Up is a collab with Diss-Pair

I chose to believe that when they first performed that song exactly Ichiya and Ikkan got into a fight and the crowd took a very long time to realize that it was not part of the show

Namida is wearing that one Toni Kensa jacket from Splatoon with the sleeves rolled up

Why the fuck doesn’t Ichiya have eyebrows

That’s alllllll

I hope your day is good and your crops prosper

YEAHAHGGGGG sorry for not answering but these. Oh my god if you have more hcs keep em going because you're so right.

I also thought ichiya was wearing a binder on the album art so glad to know i wasn't the only one... And that one theory is interesting! We do know that inklings at least aren't very smart so it is possible that they're not aware of the whole squid squad situation. And yeah sea me now definitely is a diss track (no pun intended) towards ikkan no other way to see it

[kayrllylikesblitzwing]

Hnnnghhhhh I should be drawing transformers …

BUT I LIKE THE ZOMBIE MAN.

HELLO I’m posting some ocs because recently I’ve gotten into a new rp server and it’s like one of those usual “oh kids go to highschool and they have powers and it’s alllllll monitored by the government” BUT they allow aliens too so it’s pretty neat

I brought in a TON of my old ocs who I used to use Back In The Day when I roleplayed on my hero academia roblox servers which HAS to be the most haunting, most horrible Experience of my entire life thus far. But basically I redrew a lot of my characters who I added to the new server im in and gave them a basic little sketch design and NOW im going to INTRODUCE THEM TO YOU

The girl in red is Fuji she is very mean and very manipulative and very evil and her ability is basically she can just glitch. Like it’s so funny the universe thinks she’s an error so she constantly like fades out of existence and stutters and lags and stuff but still remains. She can glitch through walls, lag and glitch other people, and even insert something like a trojan virus into others, where she can control them remotely, albeit she won’t have control of her own body while she controls them…. PRETTY COOL, pretty EVIL!

NEXT the weird SpongeBob looking thing is literally god. I’m not joking!!! In the lore of my own universes this guy, Sir Boxers (which, fun fact, had a close friend name him and it stuck perfectly!!!) is legitimately god he has the ability to warp reality and do legit whatever he wants. Ofc for the sake of the rp I have to tone down his power so we made this super crazy dramatic backstory that he was like the reigning but benevolent king of his dimension but then he got usurped by some evil force and sent into another world, trapped in a weaker, smaller vessel that can’t do as much as his other godly form, and he’s like trying to return to his dimension to restore order… it’s a funny thing LOL he’s just a joke character

Next is T-0FF-E3 of TOFFEE, and I HAVE DRAWN AND POSTED HIM BEFORE!!! I just didn’t like his design cuz he was too skrunkly so I bulked him up. I already talked about him but basically he was a regular dude and when his powers started showing up he just like mutated into a machine. Super nice, doesn’t know his strength, I love toffeee

Next is Liberty and I very Love Her!!! She’s a little bit of a mess because she’s both like a gym bro but also a cat girl so she’s pretty funny LMAOO she’s extremely competitive and almost aggressively supportive but also has the ability to turn things into weapons!!! As long as she can put both of her palms on something she can turn it into a weapon but that does NOT mean she can use it effectively, because a) the more elaborate the weapon, the more energy she needs to use on it to create it, b) the mass of whatever she makes the weapon on doesn’t change so if she makes like a weapon out of something heavy she might not be able to pick it up and c) she has NO EXPERTISE in any weaponry WHATSOEVER lol

Next is… Romeo 😍😍😍 he’s fucking disgusting! Little Zombie Boy “died” when he was an infant of like some sort of tumor in his brain but even though he was medically dead his body just persisted on its wild Basically his ability is he has full control over every single individual cell in his body and can use his his abilities to manipulate his flesh and stuff however he pleases and can just put himself back together if he’s torn apart. He’s like that trope where people talk abt bats and they’re like THE BATS ARE MORE SCARED OF YOU THAN YOU ARE OF THEM becuz Romeo lowkey is scared of everyone NOT socially inept but he just doesn’t like to interact and because of his strict upbringing

Next is Coronette and OKAY SHES ONE OF MY ALIENS Coronette was initially a part of a species I made for transformers where this group called the crixstaline were Cybertronian minicons that escaped to another planet, initially just to colonize it but then they sorta mutated with it… anyway Coronette is similar to that but I removed all of Cybertronian stuff from her stuff and made them just a species of PURE crystal theyre so cool they have their own language and like customs and stuff and UGH I might post their lore Bible one day it’s so cool anyway. Coronette is a princess from Crixstal, which is a planet that fell to foreign alien influences, and she hates earth and is stupid and dumb and wants to go home but doesn’t know WHY she can’t go home (planet was destroyed L BOZO) and she’s an iPad kid

TWO MORE second to last is CHIP and first of all I would like to say he is named after my dog and I have three ocs named after my dog two are named Chip Mooney and one is Chip Gebelhoff and the second Chip Mooney is based off Neil cicierega—

BUT ANYWAY this is the ORIGINAL CHIP other than my dog Chip used to wear red but I made him blue bcuz it fits him better and because I wanted a rainbow with my characters designs Anyway chip has the super power of onomatopoeia which means that when he says words like Pow or Boom they actually take affect in the world around him. This is disastrous and deadly and after he unintentionally nearly killed his father by activating his powers on accident, he has become mostly selective mute. He’s really guarded with how and when he talks and he’s JUST like those redditors who write like scripts of how they’re supposed to like interact and talk with people so he specifically doesn’t accidentally say a word that might trigger his power’s affects anyway he has my favorite ability

AND FINALLLLY we have Whizzer he’s a little guy the youngest oc of the line up. HES AWESOME he’s actually a remake of one of my OLDEST OCS EVER, who was an umbrella academy oc. Whizzer has a weird little astronaut bubble head not just to protect himself from anything, but to mostly protect others— FOR YOU SEE, whizzer’s ability is that his lungs are SO POWERFUL, if he breathes, he can basically desolate an environment of all of its oxygen and even take the oxygen out of other peoples lungs. He wears his little bubble so he doesn’t suffocate no one but also so he doesn’t breathe in nasty stuff like smog or bugs all of the time cuz that??? That would be bad.

ANYWAY. That’s my oc post have a wonderful day!!! Will blitz post soon❤️❤️❤️

[telltalebatman]

post the frankie size queen essay

in form of a ficlet as im wating for my food delivery. nsfw btw

"So," Angelo asked her one day. "Mac Gargan, huh?"

"Ugh, don't start this again," she sighed as he laughed. "I've told you already. I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know he's coming to our wedding-"

"Franks, I couldn't be any less mad about not getting married to a girl if I tried. All things considered, it is a miracle it took pops this long to figure out I'm gay, and I never liked lavender to begin with. Nice touch with having lavender in your wedding bouquet, by the way," he added with a grin as she laughed. "Subtle."

"Yeah, I thought you'd like that," she said with a giggle. "I just saw they had this option and went - holy shit, Angel Boy's gonna love it."

"Well, I did love it. Buuuuuut... I didn't get you here just to reminisce about our failed wedding. Come on, Franks. I need to know - why him?" he asked finally, his dark eyes glimmering with curiosity; and Frankie bit her lip.

"Well, he does make me feel safe," she said slowly, wincing slightly as the irony of a guy who once kidnapped her making her feel safe was not entirely lost on her. "He's patient. Like, really patient."

"Uh-uh," Angelo said, rolling his eyes. "Fucking boooriiiiingggggg. I want to know the juicy stuff. Come on. How's your sex life?" he asked in his worst Tommy Wiseau voice; and Frankie groaned. Rationally, she knew this question was coming; and it wasn't the question she was dreading - it was the answer.

"I had never been fucked better in my entire life," she said with a deep sigh. "You know that club bouncer guy I told you about, the one that looks like Don Costa? He has a huge schlong, but can't use it. And Mackie... Holy shit, Angel Boy. Now I know what the Muppet puppets would feel if they ever came alive and felt the hand inside of them."

"Ew," Angelo said with a wide grin. "Gross. Keep going though."

"The first time he put it in I thought he's gonna poke my eye out from within," she continued, her cheeks flushing slightly as she thought back to their first time. "It felt so fucking good. I had never realized how much empty space I have inside of me until he fucked me. It was fucking unreal."

"Jesus, is that why you went radio silent for a week? Because he fucked you so good you forgot how to speak?"

"I didn't just forget how to speak, I forgot where I live," she said with a pained sigh as Angelo laughed. "And I thought to myself - great! Now that I've fucked him, he's out of my system. I can move on with my life now. But then I hooked up with another guy, and... It was just not the same. Nobody could fill me like he did. And it wasn't even a metaphorical, emotional void or anything. No, I mean it in the most literal, physical sense. He filled me up, alllllll the way. I then tried to, you know, get a dildo, but... Eh. It's just not the same, you know?"

"Yeah, I get that. An artificial dick up your ass is just not the same as the real thing," he said, nodding sagely. "Been there. Done that. Disinfected that afterwards."

"Yeah, I sure hope you disinfect your dildos. But anyway, that's how I figured out I'm physically incompatible with anyone whose dick I can wrap my fingers around. If it doesn't make me feel like I'm about to have to go to the ER, I don't want it. Apparently whenever we fuck, I look like I'm having a stroke and a heart attack at the same time, but he kinda likes it. He says it's hot when I can't even talk properly and he can really feel me."

"God, I am so glad we didn't end up married, our sex life would be so fucking bad for both of us. Me, I just can't top. You... Ugh, I can't even say it."

"Don't say it then. Just know that I do not think about you when I'm riding that Burj Khalifa of dicks. All I think about is how good it feels to my esophagus."

"Yeah, okay, Miss Piggy. What I hate the most about this conversation is that it's the same exact for me. And I love being a Muppet. I just wish dicks had fingers, you know? So they could wiggle them inside of me. That, I think, would ruin me completely."

"Oh god," Frankie breathed out, biting her bottom lip. "That would fucking rule. And also result in my eyeballs falling out for real, I'm pretty sure."

"Can the two of you shut the fuck up for five fucking minutes?" Mac asked tiredly from another room; Frankie and Angelo laughed in unison. They were having their weird little conversation in the living room of an apartment Frankie was renting together with Mac - who was trying to take a nap in the other room. Clearly that was not working out, and she hoped he had heard every single word. Because that'd mean a oh so you like it big, huh? kind of sex later on - and the only thing she liked more than his massive dick was when he made fun of her for not being able to string together a simple coherent sentence as he fucked her. "Please. Jesus."

"We'll be quiet now," Frankie said, kicking Angelo under the table. "Right, Angel Boy?"

"Yeah, as quiet as she gets when your dick pierces her intestines," Angelo replied in a sing-song voice; Mac groaned. Frankie laughed. For just a single afternoon, all was right in the world; and when the night fell, once again she forgot her own name.

ohmygodohmygodohgodohgodohgod

"You like it big, huh?" he said as she gasped loudly and grabbed the sheets as she tried to spread her legs even further. "Aww, look at yourself. Can't even talk," he added mockingly as she moaned and arched her back. "Hold still," he added, grabbing her by her waist as he fucked her. "Tell me how much you like it, or I'll stop."

"No," she moaned out, her thought slowing down to a crawl. "Pl... Please... Oh, god..."

In return, he only laughed; and she could feel his laughter, deep inside of herself. His every word, every chuckle echoed through herself; and she

fucking

loved it.

ohgodohgodohgodohgodIMCUMMING

"I barely even moved," he said mockingly as her eyes rolled back and barely any sound got out of her wide open mouth. "Aww, you're so precious. You don't even need friction, you just need to be filled up," he added; and she didn't protest. She didn't argue. Truth be told, she wasn't even sure what exactly was he saying in the first place; all that mattered were his hands around her waist, and his cock inside of her, and his beautiful body towering over her.

holy fucking shit.

he should fist me one day

[parksprout]

Sprout Journal 11/19/24

Heya! Yesterday was a pretty okay day! Truth be told, not a ton happened? It was a relatively mundane day with not a bunch to talk about from it. I went to work as usual, the only thing different about it was that I wasn't allowed to use the parking spot I usually do because of construction :T the zoo has been under construction since I was a kid and tbh I don't really understand how that's even possible!!! They've been working on stuff for the entire time I've been there, but simultaneous to the constant work is a lack of anything actually progressing. They were supposed to finish this bear exhibit they started working on in 2021 a full year ago, but it won't be ready to open until next year. How in the heck is that even possible. Also :( I miss seeing bears. We don't have any now </3 I miss them. Anyways! Work was pretty easy yesterday. The zoo was basically dead. I spent a long time working on my journal from yesterday, which I'm weirdly proud of? The reality is that getting my thoughts out in this format has been highly therapeutic for me. Additionally, it's been the bulk of my daily writing ever since the start of the fall semester. I'm thinking that maybe daily journaling can slowly help me reinvigorate my interest in writing - especially when I use more poetic language, insert images, and take my time with them. Today I'm not really taking my time with this entry though, yesterday was an almost nothing day.

Yesterday after work I crammed down some leftover pasta because I didn't eat anything alllllll day, then got dressed and head to the gym! I didn't work nearly as hard yesterday as I had the day before, kinda ending things after my run. I did set another personal best and hope I'll continue to do so!

As I was finishing my workouts my friend Sammy called me! We talked while I walked home, but tbh after an hour or so I was wayyyy too exhausted to keep going so I ended up leaving my night pretty much at that ToT I was NOT very productive at home and I felt very boring alskjdfasdf

As always, below the image is me yappin about love n' stuff

Days like yesterday with them are what I want while we continue to figure out what we're gonna be in the future. We talked a lot, didn't have any awkward moments and.. I continued with my effort to treat them better. There was a moment where I had to check myself. I sent them some messages before they woke up in the morning and they said they'd check them out eventually, and they never got around to it! A part of me wanted to be like "heya! remember to look at the stuff I sent :3" or at least ask about it... but that's one of the ways that I think I failed as a partner in the first place is harassing them to respond to every single little thing I ever said to them. So I just took a beat, reminded myself that it's okay if they don't have something to say about every little message i've ever said. I know for a fact that I used to annoy them by asking them to respond all of the time, so... growing in that way as a person is really important to me as I continue to become someone who could be the best partner possible for them. But I'm enjoying this casual part of our relationship. I think that.. if I ask them out someday and they say yes, I want our days to look much more like this than like they did before. I wanna continue to be a relaxed, light hearted, patient person who they talk to because they want to not because they know if they don't I'll be sad

I continued to get more stuff done getting ready for their present, too :) I'm very excited to send it to them ugh. I hope that they think it's as special getting something from me as I think it is giving them something. I'm writing them a letter and .. it's probably the most effort I've ever put into something like this ever. I hope it's not all too much for them but .. I wanna give them a taste of the partner I never really got to be, I wanna show them that .. even when I was at my best with them it was only a part of who I could be as their other half.

I love them bunches. I really miss their face today. I think I'll ask them for selfies if they're okay with it, and if not then that's okay too I think. I gotta be okay with them not wanting to do stuff.

Anywayz I'm gonna add a little final thought after this fog :)

They asked me a while ago if I'd be okay if they moved on,

I told them no

I wouldn't be okay ! Because I love them a lot, and I wanna give us another go. I would be more hurt if they moved on without us trying one more time. I think a lot about what they said afterwards. They'd be scared to try again because... They don't want to hurt me again. I wish they wouldn't be so protective of me! They said they'd only try if they were incredibly serious about it but... Sometimes, I think it's better to take risks. I'm okay risking getting hurt again for a chance to be a better partner. I feel like .. we've both learned enough during this breakup, that we wouldn't let ourselves get to that point again without genuinely talking about what's going wrong first. I think about their statement a lot. I want you to risk hurting me, honestly, because there's no relationship that's not a risk of pain. If they take a risk, I wanna take it with them.

That's all Tumblr! Thank you for reading this y'all. I love ya!! Byeeee

[qualityempathshoebear]

18th Birthday and Obsessions

Im 18; an adult. Thats fun I think. I honestly dont feel much different than I did yesterday. Today was whatever; my mom and brother said happy birthday. My dad and sister did not. Im not sure if my dad said it and I just didnt hear It but ill make sure tmr. My sister absolutely did not say happy birthday which im honestly happy about. I dont need that insidious energy.

I hope 18 is a year of success, freedom, fun, love and new opportunities and experiences.

I spent the day watching a movie actually! I watched Barbarian (Check letterboxd for a super short review lol). But dont worry Im planning on celebrating at this restaurant in the city with some friends. Some I would consider more friends than others. Im also inviting the friend of boy 2 (you know, the one that "set us up"). I want to get her drunk (in a consensual way obviously) and hope that she spills some tea on him. I have a feeling that hes talking to this one black girl that goes to journalism club at my school and who is also friends with this one gay boy (not relevant) in my class. I actually went to poland with him and the girl that set me up with boy 2. Anyway, the reason I think theyre talking is becaue he has been liking her letterboxd reviews and follows her now (although he didnt like her most recent review).

Also, UGHH I think im going crazy. Im lowkey obsessed with boy 2 even though he has had me on opened for 10 weeks (well I guess i technically left him on opened in a way). Ive gone as far as to make fake letterboxd accounts pretending to be my "friends" from back home (im using their photos and names lol; i think that may be a crime actually lol) and have been commenting back and forth with myself to make him jealous. AKA, Im absolutely losing my fucking mind. I wish he had tried harder and seemed more interested because I would honestly have loved to give it another shot in another world. There is just no way I can handle a boy rn. Im still not over it, even though its been so long and i technically ended it. Its affected my academics and my procrastination and lack of care has gotten worse. Two days ago I handed in my application for my dream uni and halfassed the applicaiton (did it all in like 1 hour) and missed out on two full essays. There is absolutly NO WAY im getting in there now and ive just wasted an early decision application. Im sort of just ignoring the fact that I did that because I cant afford to fall into a depressive state with mock exams two weeks away.

Note: I hope we wont have to talk about boy 2 again but If i do ill start referring to him as "LK".

Thank you so much for being here, loca (haha twilight reference). Bye sexy!! and until next time :)

OMG ALSO JUST REMEMBERED! IM SO OVER CEASER SALAD I HAVE NOT THOUGHT OF HIM AT ALLLLLLL! AND HES WITH SOME GIRL I THINK. HONESTLY GOOD FOR HIM!!!

[whyispotatoheadalreadytaken]

Response 1

Bourbon and Toulouse is fine. I feel like I’ve said this before so sorry if I’m repeating myself. I’ve said it so many times to so many people that I can’t remember who I’ve said it to. If I have to work more, it can’t be in mental health. It has to be a job I can walk away from that is super chill and straightforward. That’s the best part about BnT. I clock in, take orders, clean tables, and then clock out. Depending on whether I’m closing or not makes a difference in my responsibilities. I plan on working at BnT through the winter until Spring. There’s no way for me to keep a second job in the spring or summer because of the demand for music during that time. I’m not sacrificing music. I think I would rather eat ramen for four months if I had to. The nice part about gigs is that we usually get free food, so we can rely on those meals. The end goal of BnT is to get by…which is so sad because that isn’t really an end goal. It is to keep our heads above water and try to also save at the same time. I have some credit card debt from our last trip to Hawaii that I’m trying to pay off, so I don’t have to worry about paying on those and can just save. We will work mostly Fridays and Saturdays. I am also worried about burnout, but it is also not forever. If I could work 12-hour shifts 7 days a week for 6 months in a factory, I could do anything for a time. It hasn’t been an easy adjustment. My back has been so angry at the concrete floors. I was in so much pain after working the 12 hour shift on Friday, and I limped out of BnT, unable to drive home after being there for 6 hours. I curse Jill every time I experience lower back pain like that. Makes me wanna forward all of my chiropractic bills to her. We desperately need another car for so many reasons. We’re highly considering a tax ID for the band because we’re making money from it and could be claiming taxes. The sad thing would be that we would lose a portion of our income, but we could write off SO. MANY. THINGS. Like a car, for instance, because we need a better one to travel in that is reliable. I essentially kept our fingers crossed the last time we went to Paducah.

Yo, isn’t it crazy how normalized unpaid work is in America???? Like, you gotta learn how to do your job, and you gotta learn for free. All of my practicums during my senior year were unpaid positions. I’ll never forget having to do 19 credit hours, my practicum, working at the after-school program and guitar center on the weekends. If I can do that, I can also go to BnT for a few months, hahaha. It’s awful, though. Student teachers should be paid for that work. IT IS THE SAME WORK. I bitch about this alllllll the time hahaha Why on gods green earth do I make a third of what licensed clinical social workers make???? WE HAVE THE SAME JOB I JUST MEET WITH SOMEONE EVERY WEEK ABOUT IT UGGAHHHH. Sorry, just makes me scream internally every time I think about it. Sometimes externally.

Poor Zoë is only recently fully realizing how much she has sacrificed to personally attempt to keep the business afloat. For a long time, she was always like oh, it’s awesome 99% of the time when Karen isn’t in a mood. She’s now realizing that it’s been a lot more than 1% of the time, and the only reason Karen has had the business for so long is that she puts out all of the fires for herself. I dream about quitting and finding a new position. It’s hard, though, because I need to have at least 30 hours of clinical work, or my whole timeline gets all fucked up and dragged out even longer. I can’t even go back for my doctorate until I have my independent license, or I would already be back in school to prolong the student loans.

The music thing is so weird cuz I don’t wanna be famous. It would just be really nice to be successful and be able to maintain that as my sole income with something else I’m passionate about on the side, like advocacy work. I already attempt to do that through music anyway. Sustainability would be my dream. Traveling and playing music for people. The dream started when I started learning how to play guitar. One day, something just clicked inside me when I was learning how to play the live version of “I Hear Noises” by Tegan and Sara. It has three chords. That’s it. Just over and over, with a different rhythm for the chorus and a different chord for the bridge. Then I started learning the Mean Everything to Nothing by Manchester Orchestra from beginning to end. I thought it would be this crazy hard thing, and I was blown away by how simple it was, and that made no sense to me because it sounded complicated. I wrote a little bit about how Andy goes back and forth between his full band sound and his acoustic sound, and I became very enthralled by that concept. So, I started recording acoustic versions of various Tegan and Sara, Coldplay, and Snow Patrol songs on my brother's Macbook. And I was like, woah, I can do this with other people’s songs, so what is keeping me from writing my own??? Once I started writing, I couldn’t stop. Music always seemed too magical for me to be able to write my own, and then suddenly, I was creating magic. Getting to share that and receive positive responses just fueled the fire to keep going and see how far I get. Our geographical location is the biggest barrier to success in music. If you don’t do country or bluegrass in KY, no one really cares about you so it’s hard to break out. It’s all about making connections and networking. That was what Julien Baker told me when I met her. Make friends with everyone because you never know where those people will take you.

I feel like I’ve always dreamed of making a lasting change, which is why I wanted to be a therapist. If I can’t change the world, maybe I can change someone’s world? Maybe that will have a ripple effect? I think my depression and anxiety come down on me really hard when I feel like I’ve amounted to nothing. It took me so long to become a therapist, to begin with, and I’ve spent so much of my life just wishing I was dead. And I’m 30 now…unable to pay my bills…so stressed out and in survival mode for a lot of the time. I know I’ve made a positive difference in the lives of other people…at least, I hope I have. I just would have hoped I would be more successful than I am currently. Like, I never thought that life would be easy, but holy shit, why is it SO hard???? Surely it isn’t supposed to be this hard, right? I feel like our generation got handed the shittiest hand, and we’ve just been white knuckling through life since 9/11.

                  I am so glad that the thought of amounting to nothing isn’t something you’ve been worried about. I mean that too, that’s not sarcastic. Keeping it super simple is the way to go and the way to see it. If we’re doing something good with our lives and we are happy, that’s all we can do.

BROOOOOOO, I would have lost my absolute shit on that lifeguard if I had been there. YOU HAD ONE JOB. You literally had your baby in your arms like for the love of god HELP. That is so scary. Poor Rory was just being a kid not really knowing what he was getting himself into. I’m sure that was horrifying for you and also for him. I’m obviously so happy he’s alright.

My cousins came to visit for a summer when I was in 6th grade, and the youngest was such a brat. I could not handle her. I love my cousin who was my age. I got to see both of them the last time I was in Ireland. Lauren decided she didn’t care if she could swim; she was just gonna jump in the pool's deep end at the pavilion by the slide…which children are not supposed to be in any way because of the slide!!!!! She was something else, man, just defiant. Well, she jumped in and never came back up, and the lifeguard didn’t notice because he was watching the slide!!!!! And no one swims there!!!!! So, I jumped in after her and pulled her out of the water. So, when I was visiting, my Aunt Karen was like remember when Niamh saved you from drowning??? BRUH.

Praying Mantises are COOL, but they are aggressive, so you can’t get too close hahaha. There was one in the sensory garden last year that was longer than a pencil. That was horrifying, hahaha. They are awesome to have in your garden, though, because they kill caterpillars!!!!!

Bro Aiden and his croc charms for trump. Will literally never understand how people can still support that dude. Like, okay, republicans, be republican but why this guy???? I’m glad that he is kind to the babies. That is very nice and preferred.

Tabby is my new daddy 😭 broooooo. Is John doing any better now? Do those comments not bother him or motivate him to self-reflect on why his son would say things like that? Kids pick up on whether or not adults pay attention to them, especially their parents. I hope he can figure it all out. I have all the empathy in the world for struggles with mental health, but like he can do something about that.

The fact that kids will fight naps is so crazy to me. Like my brother in Christ, what I would give to go beddy-bye hahaha. Those toddler years are hard; learning how to process and communicate big emotions is hard for little people. Your parenting is solid. It takes a lot of practice for kids to regulate their emotions, but it eventually clicks for them. Having a supportive parent who can teach and model them those things is so important and so good on you, momma. I love that he’s telling those things to you. Has he gotten better about not being picked up when your back is in shambles? I remember you mentioning that he struggled with that and understanding why you couldn’t pick him up.

I can’t believe Jonah is gonna be one soon. That is so insane. I know he is an October baby, but I was unsure if he was the 13th or the 14th?

[1-talk-alot]

Okayyyyy yeah I got terminated but if I hadn’t got terminated you’d be able to go back and see alllllll the shit about M (code name) and im not going to re explain it so whatever

Short rant ahead!!!!

I vagely remember saying that I would talk about this topic again unless something happened and ig something did happen but whatever whatever im making no sense

Soooo today in fact M, E and C (and me!) we’re in dance bcs we have no choice and we were like standing around because idk and E goes to the bathroom so im sitting down and M and C are there and Ms talking shit about someone and I’m like “wait who” and they’re like “Ph it’s nothing don’t worry about it!” And im not stupid and I HATE how they think I’m just gonna be like “Okay! I will assume it’s someone who I don’t know or someone who you have already told me about because im an empty headed idiot with no opinions, logic, or ability to work things out on my own!” LIKE?????? Anyways I just assume its one of my friends or me because you im not an empty headed idiot like they apparently think!

Sooooooooo E comes back and we do our dance and (this next bit is a bonus issue) idk if M even like notices but they neeeeeeeeed to stop standing so close to my face like please?? I keep stepping back and you keep coming closer like stop

So whatever our group has another break and M jumps up and says(to C) “okay anyways I wanna keep shittalking them now!” And they open their phone and I can quite obviously see E’s pfp on their phone and i atp go to tell E “hey theyre talking about you” but like even I know that I don’t have to because theyre full on standing 1 foot away. Like Ik some people are just dicks who make it clear they don’t like you and they talk about you knowing you can hear them because they want you to feel shit but keep in mind everyone in our group are meant to be “bestfriends” or whatever. I didn’t hear exactly what was said I just know it was to do with some text message or whatever.

Sidetrack! (Because I do that a lot) they also expect me to move into an apartment with them when we’re older?? Idk but its weird because one it’s not gonna happen, two I know exactly what I wanna do and im going to live alone, three in the time period im not living alone (because I know that’ll happen too) I wanna live with E, A, or just some stranger who I can get to know and become friends with. It sounds mean but there’s no way im going to wind up in an apartment with M and theyre being so oblivious about it despite my multiple attempts to tell them my life plan

Back to the story uh there’s not story left just WHAT THE FUCK???? This next sentence may sound sarcastic but it’s a genuine question do you want the world to know what you said aboit E?? It would be bad anyways but you’re standing 1-2 feet away????? Literally that whole day I’ve been doing my regular “I wanna talk to my friends without seeming intrusive so im gonna stand” thing and almost whenever I actually do get to talk to my friend they just intrude and I know it sounds selfish bcs idk how to explain how I know they’re doing it on purpose?? And then they try to like steer me somewhere else like the canteen or like anywhere???

Let’s finish on a sidetrack ok I think its safe to say that theyve got shit going on for themselves and every once in a while they (out of nowhere, mind you) strike up a point like “if I died you guys wouldn’t care and 1 what do I even say??? Like I’d care obviously but what do I say? And two even when I do say like anything theyre just like “you’ll live.” Like ok am I not meant to? Because it sounds like you’re mildly pissed at the fact that I wouldt follow you if you died or smth

That also happened today and honestly idk what theyre even tryna do? Like youre making a point that you’re obviously sour about and then when we try to reassure you you’re just reject it?? So what are we supposed to do then? This happens often and im soooo tired of it because it’s a lose-lose game like there’s no good option anyways

(Disclaimer excuse spelling mistakes bcs I didn’t proof read this I just wanted to post it finally)

In conclusion I shouldddd (“deal with it in a mature and organised way so that no one gets hurt!”) commit identity fraud!

Bye bye :3

[monarchy-sys]

Medical neglect makes you feel like you're faking everything sooooo bad, especially if you've genuinely internalized your behavior and reaction to otherwise medical emergencies or issues that are supposed to be severe enough to put you down completely.

I deal with constant chronic migraines, but you wouldn't know it because I either self medicate or push through it like nothings wrong. Most people who do not have chronic migraines and just get them periodically suffer the magnitude of the symptoms, and so do I, but when they say "oh yeah when I get those I see double and the pain makes me nauseous and I have to be bed bound for a couple days until it passes" I can't say "oh me too" because..... while I do get those issues as well...... I just keep going to work anyway and act like it isn't there.

I frequently dislocate joints to the point that I never actually realized it was supposed to be a huge medical emergency and my family told me it was my fault, so I just stopped talking about it and dealt with it. If I dislocate something it doesn't hurt anymore and it's fine because it'll just go right back where it's supposed to in a bit anyway, no need for medical intervention. But now I scare people with how casual I am about it, and I'm terrified they think I'm faking all these issues I'm having because I just can't and don't react "correctly" anymore.

That, or I'm scared they think I'm just one of those people who's like "lol I'm soooo ocd" or whatever because I'm like "hehe yeah I get migraines like alllllll the time, but I still go to work and function like normal" like no !!! I'm just scared of being perceived as having issues !!!!! I literally go sheep mode and don't present issues unless I trust you're gonna be normal about it and not panic and insist I get immediate medical assistance or tell me I'm wrong and faking it !!!!!!!!!! Be fucking niceys to me!!!!