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armandjolras · 1 year ago

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Dumping an extremely long writeup of my thoughts about the IWTV series here. In case anyone does read it, tw for domestic abuse and rape, because it seems that’s the story we got 💀

The show overall

I absolutely loved the inclusive representation and how naturally the story supported the changes. I’ve distanced myself a bit from the books and film because I’m increasingly uncomfortable with their problematic elements, so it was great to experience the story without those. I loved how gay it was, at last!!! The use of Covid in the new framing story feels very 2021 lol but I think it’s an interesting idea, and the Dubai flat is soooo Armand (/neg).

That being said, if I had to look at the show objectively I would say it’s not very good. I don’t know enough about tv production to say what the issue was, but both the writing and direction felt awkward to me. The climax was too drawn out, and ending the show by revealing Armand’s identity will surely be underwhelming to anyone who hasn’t read the book or seen the film. I really disliked how desaturated and brownish the colour palette was, and I don’t think the mood matched the books. It wasn’t very gothic, but instead had a sort of sterility that reminded me of what I’ve seen of Hannibal. And finally, a lot of things seemed very silly to me. The way they hissed at each other was straight out of What We Do In The Shadows, and wasn’t that mind-reading scene, where everyone is thinking about food/sex, from Twilight??

Maybe this is overly pessimistic, but I have a feeling the show won’t be renewed for series 3. I really would love a decent adaptation of books 2 and 3, but maybe it is for the best, as the books get increasingly sillier, and because of the way Lestat was characterised so far💀

The characters

Jacob is so perfect as Louis. It’s refreshing to see Louis as he originally was, before he was flanderised in later books, and while I don’t think Brad Pitt is as bad as most people do, Jacob fits the character exactly and brings so much energy to the role.

I’m sooo obsessed with Bailey as Claudia, she was so much fun! I was never a huge Claudia fan before, but I love how her personality was portrayed in this, and how prominent of a role she was given, I cared about her so much. And Bailey masters that very creepy wide-eyed stare. I’m glad we got an adult actress as Claudia because of the intensity of the story (even though I did have to suspend my disbelief a bit when the show focused on how Claudia will look so young and 14 forever when she could easily pass as a grown up)

However, I HATED the rape plot. It served little purpose and could be replaced with some other plot point, and it’s such an upsetting, lazy trope to have a female character raped (especially a girl of colour). And I was excited to have an early fang gang cameo before that happened 😭

I’m a bit meh on Eric and how Daniel is written in general. I just think he’s too much of an asshole, and Eric delivers his lines in such a mean way. There’s definitely shades of Daniel’s personality there, and I COULD see Daniel growing up to be like that — I just think he’s a good guy, nicer than we’re shown here. And I really didn’t like the brief appearance of young Daniel, I don’t think he had the right energy at all.

And the new framing story means almost certainly no devil’s minion, but I doubt the show will make it that far anyway.

He was barely in it but I’m already obsessed with Assad’s Armand, his demeanor is perfect, and he really looks like an Armand! So excited to see more of him in series 2.

The minor characters were good, I especially liked having a bit of Louis sister’s arc in there!

I saved Lestat for last because I have a lot to say 💀. I thought Sam did a great job all things considered, so I don’t blame him, just the writing. Even before episode 5 i didn’t love this depiction of the character. There were some things I did like — he was fun, annoying, and impetuous, as Lestat should be. But I didn’t get the sense that he loved humanity, which is one of Lestat’s most important characteristics. Of course that wasn’t in book 1, but the framing story is supposed to be a revision of the original interview anyway. He enjoyed partying with people, but never seemed to care about any mortals. They could have given screentime to that, instead of the abuse. Or maybe they decided to base his characterisation on later series Lestat who does seem to abuse the people he loves /j

Initially, I didn’t know why they made him so abusive. From my perspective, the hard part of adapting IWTV is balancing Lestat’s abusiveness in that book with who he becomes in later books, blending the character attributes, so the audience will like him later on. So WHY would they make him MORE abusive??

I do wonder if it’s because they made Louis/Lestat an explicit romance. It’s a lot harder to believe that Louis would be complicit in Lestat’s death when he’s happily in love with him than when it was Brad Pitt acting numb and miserable. I wonder if they added this graphic and violent abuse to convince the audience, as well as Louis and Claudia, to hate Lestat in the span of one episode. And if so, that’s so lazy! They could have focused more on Lestat’s psychological control, convincing the others that they’re helpless without him, or Louis’s self-loathing about being a vampire and his resentment of Lestat.

And to be honest, while the beating scene was awful, I was more upset by the traincar scene with Claudia. I just watched The Shining last weekend and Lestat bursting into the train with the severed head of the conductor was so Jack Torrence. And if I didn’t misunderstand, i think he threatened to rape Claudia, and told her that if she let that happen, it would upset Louis. Please correct me if I’m wrong! Because that is horrendous.

i don’t think there’s any coming back from this for the character. In the series, the characters are willing to forgive anything over time because they’re all immortal, but I can’t see the audience forgiving. So if they do make it past series 2, it will be interesting to see what they do. (And maybe it’s for the best if not, not only because of Lestat, but also because I’d rather not see any screen time dedicated to Marius lol)

#iwtv amc spoilers #iwtv amc #abuse tw #domestic abuse tw #rape tw

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blxckdamask · 5 years ago

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Trashcan’s Fic Rec: July ‘19

i know this is really late but i was busy so i couldnt really get this done. an yway,,, yall know the drill by now,, this has a bunch of bnha (mostly bkdk) and some rairpairs aswell as some drarry, odaat and b99.

BNHA Fics:

{bakudeku}

When Izuku's insecurities about his scarred body hit him full throttle, Katsuki is there to show Izuku just how beautiful scars can be.

Katsuki's reflection above the sink stared back. Eyes still drowsy with a hint of a shadow beneath them. Hair more of a mess than he would prefer, but he was plenty awake now.

All because of Deku.

Katsuki reflects at 4 am.

Pride has always had a special place in Midoriya Izuku's heart.

"I trusted you and you had me murdered!” Midoriya wailed, anguished. Bakugou twitched focusing on the spell that made him capture Midoriya's soul.

“Shut up! You got yourself killed!”

“I didn't! You said you had my back and I thought you had it! But you didn't! Kacchan! My body!” Midoriya cried as he watched Bakugou lug his limp body through the forest.

This is what happens when Bakugou tries to become best friends with Midoriya again.

Katsuki doesn't know what's wrong with Izuku. Is he mad? What is he mad about? What did Katsuki do!? All he knows is that he can't let Izuku break up with him. Not while they're still keeping their relationship a secret.

Izuku forces Katsuki to apologize for everything he's ever done to hurt him.

Bakugou and Midoriya have been best friends since... well, since either of them could remember. But both harbor unspoken feelings for the other, will this be an end to their friendship?

Izuku, a dog hybrid, has lived with his owner Toshinori, a retired hybrid psychologist, his whole life. He takes on some of the shelter’s most difficult cases as fosters, and so Izuku has learned to be the best foster-mate possible for scared and abused hybrids. At first, Katsuki, a cat hybrid who’s been kept in a tiny apartment nearly his whole life, seems just like any of the other awful cases they’ve seen, but somehow, Izuku and him grow a lot closer than usual over the course of his stay. Eventually, the question becomes: could he stay forever?

“Izuku knows what the Hanahaki does. He knows what his options are, and sure, they aren’t great. In fact, they’re pretty horrible. The list is short and daunting. There are still flower petals on his pillow."

In which Izuku has Hanahaki Disease, and Katsuki's furious.

And you're crushing on him, and he's just so cute, and the baby's cute, and what's a guy to do, anyway?

Ever since they were little, Izuku and Katsuki’s families have had family dinners. It’s just them and their parents, and that’s fine. Until more people get dragged in. (And try to set Izuku and Katsuki up.)

for twinstars week day four - family

{todobaku}

It started from a normal evening to a small argument that made them go on vacation that made Katsuki realize that he wanted something more from Shouto.

Bakugou, Denki, Midoriya, Momo and Todoroki all end up in a McDonald's one early morning. A suggestion of a movie and a credit card reveal later and the teens are off to spend the day together.

They all know that it's Todoroki's father's credit card, but none of them care.

Bakugo and Todoroki both find themselves living together with disabilities, helping each other get by. In doing so, they fall in love.

{rairpairs & other ships}

“You haven’t changed at all, have ya?” he observed, pinching her cheek affectionately.

Ochako batted his hand away from her cheeks for the second time that morning, wondering if he had a thing for them. “That doesn’t even make any sense, Bakugou. I’m from the past. Of course I haven’t changed.”

“Makes perfect sense,” Bakugou countered, closing his teeth around a bite of eggs. “You were doing this same shit yesterday morning.”

My entry for the day 2 prompt of Kacchako week: otherworldly.

Bakugou watches with something akin to affection when Shinsou starts playing with his dog until she jumps all around him and is barking excitedly. He has never seen the both of them so content before. The Sergeant is always so concentrated at College grounds, either that or she’s calm but still looking out for him. Bakugou has seen them during lectures, at lunch at their usual table, during their ways to Bakugou’s dorm and to Shinsou’s apartment off campus, he has seen them through their late-night-skyping sessions and in countless pictures on Sergeant Barkowitz’ Instagram. He has seen their best but not their worst, and that makes Bakugou wonder if he’ll ever be such a great companion to Shinsou like the Sergeant is.

"Shouta could have never imagined reaching this point in his life. He honestly expected to die at some point when he was younger, alone somewhere in an alleyway, killed in action during his hero work maybe."

Instead he's in a warm hospital bed and surrounded by some of the people he cares most about.

Shinsou Hitoshi had never had a family before, and he refuses to screw it up. But when a villain attacks him and his new little sister, he may have lost the only family he's ever had.

Bakugou never wanted to be mated. Especially not to a villain but it didn't look like he had any choice in the matter. The only question now was: will he ever escape?

OR,

The author loves Bakugou and loves to make him suffer so Dabi kidnaps him and forces our favourite blasty boy to become his mate. It goes from bad to good to bad and back to good.

While working together as pro heroes, Iida, Bakugou and Todoroki are taken captive. The situation is strange: none of their Quirks work, and they aren’t tortured or killed – in fact, they never see their captors. There is nothing to do but wait.

Things are tense between the three of them, but Iida finds the situation bringing him closer to Bakugou than he thought possible. But who knows how this will change things between when they get out…

Quirk: Infatuation - The user of this quirk affects two people by touching them at the same time, they then fall into a state of infatuation with each other; they could be affected by this for up to a week.

Iida and Bakugou get affected by an infatuation quirk that makes them be sweet to each other. So sweet, that it could give you cavities. Warning: This story will contain an excessive amount of pet names, hence the title.

Other Fandoms Fics:

Recently married, Harry and Draco are tasked with raising a four-year old Teddy, whose emerging gender identity brings up an array of questions, fears, and revelations for them when they realise that Teddy might be transgender.

When Draco learns he's pregnant again, he blames his husband. Harry, however, couldn't be happier.

Jake dated two guys in college, but doesn't realise until he introduces one of them to Amy.

The family learns a secret about Schneider

alex said the far scarier sentence that at the same time was more comforting than anything the teenager had ever heard before. “she,” alex mumbled under his- no, her- breath, voice beginning to choke up, “was sitting on her bed, in her room. her,” he- she, she- sighed and spoke just a little louder, just a little surer. “her name is alex, and she’s a girl.” alex smiled to herself, so small it was probably barely considered one. she didn’t care; she finally felt whole.

or: in another world, elena isn't the only alvarez daughter (but it takes alex some time to figure that out)

#monthly fic rec #fic rec #bnha #bkdk #tdbk #kacchako #bakushin #bakuiida #bakudabi #erasermic #Harry Potter #drarry #odaat #b99 #peraltiago

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lia-nikiforov · 6 years ago

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Spring 2018 Anime Final Review

So, uh, this is six months late. I’ve had half of this post in my drafts forever. To make it short, as I’ve mentioned previously, mom lost her job, which has not only been a heavy hit to my sense of stability for the last six months, but also means my time to watch anime was seriously reduced and even now a slight change of plans fucks up my whole schedule and sets me back for a full week. Anyway, nobody cares about any of these shows anymore so let’s get straight to it? I’m gonna ommit the two-cours that continued into the Summer - hopefully I’ll be able to make that post soonish? idk. Worst to best, same as usual

The crappy gender politics pit of shame

Darling in the FRANXX: I think everyone has ripped this show to threads at this point and there isn’t much I could add to that. It is quite funny to me to see how many people flipped out when the show went completely bananas in its last few episodes. Feels a bit like KADO, I’ve been telling y’all this was a ton of empty crap since episode 2, it just took the writing to completely self-destruct for everyone else to notice. A part of me feels tempted to do a long post breaking down just how badly the show collapsed in its final shebang, specifically how every single twist and turn completely nulled any remote kind of message or central thesis the show may have had, but at the same time it doesn’t seem worth the time. In the end, I may have given What is Internal Consistency, The anime way too much credit. It’s not hateful antigay propaganda, it’s just dumb as shits, with a writer and creators who didn’t think for half a second of the implications of what they were doing, and who were so incompetent they couldn’t even conserve the minimal plot and character coherency within a single episode, let alone 24. In other words, Darling isn’t saying “gays shouldn’t exist” but “I have no idea of anything regarding gay people”. What makes it egregious is that the show spent so much time acting like it was “meaningful” and “important” and yet it ended saying absolutely fucking nothing. Except mayb “have babies”. Down to oblivion you go, along with the likes of KADO, to the void of shows that couldn’t even be offensively bad and no one will remember a year from now. Bonus garbage points for the half-assed “bury your gays”.

Nil of Libra Admirari or whatever this show was called: I’m not trying to diss on the show, I just genuinely never remember the title because I have the JP and EN all mixed up. Not that it matters much, as far as I could tell, the show could call Shalabalabatuna and it would have the same significance in regard to the content. But the title isn’t important. In fact, it may be a bit unfair to have this show in this section. For the most part, Main Girl is very self-determined and has an active role in the story.... but then the last two episodes heavily featured a lot of rape threats or rape themes and forced pregnancy (real and threat) and I don’t really understand why they’d go there all of a sudden. One of them was treated relatively well, even empowering the victim in the process, but when the ikemen bad guy was rambling endlessly about how he wanted to impregnate the protagonist it really turned me off :/ I’m also not a fan of “main boy was her secret fiancé all along”, but at least they also handled that somewhat decently. It’s a very disposable series, but since I watched all of Amnesia, I think I owe every otoge adaptation at least the smallest chance to clear that very low bar, and Libra of Nil does it, more competently than most other stuff in the same genre.

Hisone to Masotan: I really, really wanted to love this show. Even now, as I put it in the pit of shame category, I’m pained. There was a good show in this, and a lot of it made it to the screen: an adorable, charming little story about a woman finding her place in the world, making new friends, finding her calling and bonding with an adorable dragon. Unfortunately, it got buried down under this opressing, horrendous gender politics that tried to do something with bringing attention to sexism in the military only to cancel it out making the one dude that embodied that sexism getting rewarded with the affections of a girl he explicitly tried to crush. It also called back on the virgin or whore fallacy and even managed to shove in a “bury your gays” trope. Even though Hisone challenges the ritual bullshit, it’s too little, too late, and she does end up carrying it out anyway, so the defiance to the status quo is of little importance in terms of problematizing the ritual itself. Sorry BONES, it wasn’t meant to be this time.

The ni fu ni fa section

Ni fu ni fa is a Mexican colloquialism for “It was okay but it didn’t change my life.”

Binan Koukou Chikyuu Boueibu HAPPY KISS: This soft reboot of the franchise had some really great episodes and did an actually good job of developping its characters. For the most part, it achieved what its predecessor did in terms of satirical comedy and I enjoyed it quite a bit. However, what bunked it down so low in the list was the final episode. At some point, the writers forgot they were doing a parody and made the show somewhat self-serious, way closer in tone to the magical girl anime it was supposed to be making fun of, rather than the satire its predecessor was. Whereas S1 ended with the whole Magical boy stuff being revealed as a crappy space reality TV show, this one ended with a real cheesy conflict about happiness and family and blablabla. Which is not bad by itself if this were a Precure show, but that kind of self-serious plot development just didn’t work for this series. I still enjoyed it, and the fanservice episode is one of the best of the whole franchise, but I’m a bit sad the finale missed the mark so badly.

Hinamatsuri: Hinamatsuri was very hit-or-miss for me. There were some truly brilliant episodes, a lot of funny vignettes and heart-warming stories, and then there was some stuff that made me uncomfortable -like every single Hitomi story- or felt unnecessary and dry. It also threw me off that the superpower dynamic completely disappeared in the second half of the show, especially in Anzu’s part of the story. It was okay but I feel like I needed something that felt like a closing, and choosing to end it with Mao who featured very minimally in the show overall didn’t cut it. It’s a fun show, I’d reccommend people check it out, but it felt a bit too disjointed for me

Persona 5: The Animation: This is a hard show to place because I love the looks of it and I think the concept is interesting and pretty cool, but there is something that’s keeping me from connecting emotionally to the story. The part where changing the villains’ heart makes them repent from their sins and become “good” feels very artificial and very tasteless when you’re dealing with rapists and abusers. I ended dropping it at episode 16, I just couldn’t find the motivation to catch up with the 6 episodes i’d fallen behind on because my schedule is a tragedy

Tokyo Ghoul: Re: I guess it’s fair to say I’ve kind of outgrown Tokyo Ghoul. There’s something messy and confusing about how this season panned out, and there comes a point in which misery porn just doesn’t cut it anymore. I still watch because Ishida has a way to make every single goddamn character extremely sympathetic, which makes for an emotionally engaging viewing even when you’re not sure of what the plot is supposed to be or who you should be rooting for. I tried picking up the new season that just started airing and immediately found I had no idea of what was going on, who was on who’s side and in general, who the fuck were 90% of the characters, so I dropped it.

Nanatsu no Taizai: Imashime no Fukkatsu: I’ve mentioned it before, this second season had the opposite problem than the first one: the pace was too slow. It took more than half of it to get to Escanor, and then the season ends at a kind of random spot. I really thought we’d get further along on the story, since Gowther’s backstory was hinted at in the openings, but no such thing happened. They did manage to give us a variety of cool moments and fights, and I love Ban so his scenes with Zhivago and Elaine made me quite happy, though I really wish the romance between Elizabeth and Meliodas wasn’t su dubious and cringy. In light of some revelations that take place further along the manga, going out of their way to emphasize that Meliodas was a sort of mentor figure for Elizabeth when she was a toddler seems unncessary and just very squeamish. I do hope we get a third season though, and an OVA of the Vampires of whatever side story would be great too.

Rokuhoudou Yotsuiro Biyori: I was pleasantly surprised by this show, and it’s closer to being one of my top of the season than it is to “meh”. It had some weaker, cheesier segments, but it also managed great whacky moments and a genuine soothing atmosphere. What surprised me most is that the vanilla looking cast of moderately handsome dudes managed to develop into interesting, funny individuals with a dynamic that made every episode enjoyable. A solid reccommendation for anyone wanting to see delicious looking food and moderately handsome dudes being ridiculous. Also, the cat episode is the best episode of anime ever produced.

The I’m probably the only person alive who enjoys these shows

Mahou Shoujo Ore: This is a difficult show to place because it wasn’t quite as great as I wanted it to be and its parodic nature took me by surprise, but somehow I was still seriously entertained more often than not. The twists in the final quarter and the absolutely bonkers finale was a total riot, but I definitely advise caution before going in, given that some of the jokes may seem insensitive or in poor taste in regards to gender presentation, sexuality and there are even some mild harrassment jokes that certainly made me roll my eyes.

Yowamushi Pedal: Glory Line: I don’t know if anyone’s noticed, but I think through half of the show’s 25 episode run, I was convinced the title was actually Glory Road. It’s kind of anticlimactic that it’s called Glory Line if they don’t actually reach the final Goal btw. Anyway, I feel I say this a lot, but really, if you didn’t like the previous Yowapeda seasons, there’s nothing here for you, and if you did, you’re probably not gonna hop off this late in the game. This season does suffer from the same dragging than its predecessors, with the added issue of being quite pessimistic for no reason in about half the episodes, and a diminished presence for Onoda. I really wish they hadn’t dragged the Day 2 goal so long, I really hoped we’d see the end of the race, but no such luck I guess. Still love most of it and hope we get one more season or a movie to complete the story.

The favorites of the season

Golden Kamuy: In spite of its pacing issues, terrible animation and general clunkiness, I can’t help but love this show. When season 1 ended my feelings for it had mellowed quite a bit, but as soon as I picked up season 2 this Fall I just fell in love all over again. It’s fun, unique, over-the-top in some ways, incredibly grounded in others, and the dynamics between the characters are incredibly charming.

Hozuki no Reitetsu: It’s hard to talk about this one because it feels repetitive, given how tonally the show remains just the same across its three seasons. It could’ve very well been a one-season, 36 episode show, for how little it changes in spite of the time that transpired between the first season and the second. But in short, the comedy continues to be as spot on as always, the Zashikiwarashi twins are the best addition to the cast. It’s definitely a show I could watch endless episodes off, and the rare case of an episodic series with no overarching plot that I can enjoy wholeheartedly.

Card Captor Sakura: Clear Card arc: Over the course of the series, I’ve expressed a few concerns and misgivings about how the story of this 20th anniversary sequel was playing out. The final episode was particularly troublesome in that it left the story unfinished in spite of deviating from the manga. In spite of this, more than anything I’m very happy that this continuation still retains what made the original so special, that they captured the magic behind Sakura’s “everything will be alright” spell and gave us the chance to spend more time with these beloved characters and see their stories continue. The slow but sweet development of Sakura and Syaoran’s puppy love is a definite highlight. Needs more Touya/Yukito and Yue in general.

Piano no Mori: This show got heavily overlooked because it was kidnapped by Netflix (pls stop immediately), and then when it was finally unceremoniously dumped a month or two ago, it came under fire for the wonky CGI during the piano scenes -and it is indeed very wonky-. But beyond that, I found the story very engaging, especially because Kai is such a fascinating protagonist, his intense rivalry-friendship with Megane-kun (sorry, it’s been six months, i can’t remember names) is exactly the type I can’t help but root for. Kai’s participation in the final episode gave me goosebumps. I’m very happy we’re getting a continuation, can’t wait to see how the Chopin competition develops.

Wotaku ni Koi wa Muzukashii: Sweet, funny and absolutely delightful from start to finish, Wotakoi was easily one of the highlights of the season. Although there were some aspects about Cosplayer-senpai and Yuri Otaku-senpai’s (I’m really trying to remember the names, I’m sorry!! ;---;) that didn’t work for me -namely the izakaya segment- Narumi and Hirotaka more than made up for it with their clumsy yet adorable romance. I spent the entirety of the amusement park episode screeching. I really hope we get a continuation -and get a chance to see more of Hirotaka’s brother and his gamer friend too- and that in general we can get more anime about adult stories

Megalobox: Who would’ve thought that a show that wasn’t even in my radar before the season started would’ve end as one of my favorites, possibly of the year? Even as someone who’s only marginally acquainted with Ashita no Joe and has no interst in the sport of boxing, I was completely enthralled by the style and passion of this production. As I said a bit above, intense rivalries are very appealing to me, and the build up in the tension between Joe and Yuri was almost palpable, their mutual respect gave me chills. Definitely the surprise of the season, made even better by its optimistic happy ending to contrast with its predecessor’s tragedy. Megalobox is a unique anniversary project that is closer to an homage and it works perfectly. Definitely check it out.

That’s it for the Spring season! I hope i can do the summer season this weekend and maaaybe even my watchlist for the Fall season. Fingers crossed i won’t get swallowed up in other stuff :’D

#anime final impressions #spring anime #god i've forgotten 95% of my tags #darling in the franxx #megalobox #wotaku ni koi wa muzukashii #piano no mori #card captor sakura clear card arc #hozuki no reitetsu #golden kamuy #yowapeda #mahou shoujo ore #rokuhoudou yotsuiro biyori #nanatsu no taizai #persona 5 #tokyo ghoul: re #hinamatsuri #hisone to masotan #binan koukou chikyuu boueibu

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taylunae · 5 years ago

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My thoughts on Unbelievable so far...

Hi, 2021 Crescent here. I happen to come across this post on my blog, and as I was rereading realized how problematic it was. Where are the trigger warnings? Why was I throwing around the word r*pe so much? It's clear that I was new to fandom, and I've learned so much since then about being sensitive to others, so instead of just deleting this post, I'd like to give it another crack. To show to myself how much we've changed since 2019. Alright, here we go.

⚠️ Trigger warning ⚠️ discussions of SA

I've been watching a lot of TV lately. A lot. And I've been finding myself noticing the different ways that various TV shows are set up. You know, things like structure, main characters, presentation.

It's not very often that I can truly appreciate the presentation about a show. I mean, we all know I love Riverdale (I don't anymore) and it's an absolute dumpster fire of a show but that's not why I watch it. I don't watch Riverdale for the presentation, I watch it for the characters. (To be fair, I still like the characters, but I could only watch a writers room full of men make horrible decisions about characterization for so long before I had to dip) But, I digress.

But I'm watching this new show on Netflix, Unbelievable. And the depth and attention to detail is astounding me. The way that they are setting up the show is so artfully done that it actually amazes me. You begin to the show thinking that the main character is going to be Marie. But as the show progresses, you realize maybe the main character is Detective Duvall. And then Detective Rasmussen. And then you realize "oh it's not any of those." It's a hybrid of the story of two female detectives who are going above and beyond to solve an impossible mystery.

And I thought that this was going to be something that trivialised rape SA with young women. But it doesn't. It is The show talks about rape SA in a way that I'm sure every woman feels about rape SA. It's not playing it off as some awful thing that just happens. They don't say oh well. (That isn't completely true. I failed to mention that some of the characters do have this reaction, and that's what makes the determination of the detectives that take the case all the more validating) Even with one character who feels like she's forced to admit that she made a false report. That (referring to false accusations being sensationalized in media, which was incredibly common during the Me Too movement) is something fat that is in the media all the time but as they build the story you realize but that you can see this whole new perspective from women who report rape SA and then later come out to say that it was a false accusation. (I don't like that I said "new perspective" here. I think a more accurate description would have been a new perspective for me. Because this isn't a new perspective for some women, it's a very common thing that happens.)

In fact, that's one of my greatest fears about rape SA. Not that it will scar me for life. Or that I won't be the same person. Because I know those things are true. If that were to ever happen to me, I know that it will change me on a molecular level. The worst fear that I have about potentially being raped SA is the fact that if you're strong enough (this isn't about strength, it's about support. I remember I used to feel this way about SA. That is you didn't report it, you just weren't strong enough. Fuck that. All women are strong. This is such pick me, fucked up language that had been ingrained into me from living in a small town my entire life. Reporting SA isn't about strength. It's about the community you have behind you, and the people you keep beside you. Supported people can do hard things things) stand up for yourself, there are going to be people who say you made it up. And this show so artfully portrays that perspective.

And every other perspective. It's so well thought-out. And yeah, it's hard to watch. But it's worth the time. (This is one thing I got 100% right. This show is hard to stomach, and I still think about it two years later. I haven't rewatched, I don't think I could now knowing what I know about myself. Maybe I wouldn't like it this time around. But I'm glad I watched it then, it was worth my time.)

** okay, so some final thoughts from 2021 Tate**

I think the reason I had such a visceral reaction to my analysis, however juvenile it was, of the show is because since then I have done extensive work on myself through therapy. Through this therapy, something that we always came back to and talked about was my inherent fear of men. And we talked about how, to my belief, it was always something that had been a part of me.

We worked on that. And we came back to that. A lot. And one night it hit me. I had been preparing a lecture that I had to give to my students the next day about r*pe culture and how it affects the books that we read and something that I always do, because I teach in a small community, is I prepare for the worst, most bigoted statements that I can think of that my students might say and I pre-planned thoughtful, caring answers that restated my boundaries and corrected them to using gentler language to express their curiosity.

While I was doing this I happened to think about something that had happened to me when I was in high school that I had always looked at in a light of "oh that's a funny story to tell." But because I was already studying SA in depth with my students it was at the forefront of my mind, and it was then that I realized that what happened to me at a party in Grade 10 wasn't a funny story, I had experienced sexual assault. And if there was one thing that 2019 me got right was that it did change me.

Because that's when my fear of men started. I could almost pinpoint it to the day.

That's when I started being more cautious.

That's when my anxiety got unmanageable.

Once I had realized this, I immediately reached out to both my mom and my husband and told them about how I thought that I had been sexually assaulted. And just like I feared one of those people didn't believe me at first and required me to validate why I thought that it happened to me. My mother is an amazing person, and one of the most supportive people in my life. However, she also was taught about SA through a male gaze. She had never had somebody as close to her as I am tell her that that it happened to them. And unlike what I thought, it wasn't the worst thing that could happen to me. I had the opportunity to educate somebody else about exactly what SA means and entails. She cried with me and for me. She told me she loved me. And that was enough.

My husband came home from work that night looking lost. He had heard the story before. I used to tell it as a joke at parties. Yet, he came home and he wrapped me up in a hug and he said "I'm sorry that happened to you and I'm sorry that I didn't realize it was wrong until you did."

So like I said earlier. It's about support. I think about some of my earlier comments about how I used to know that if I was ever sexually assaulted it would ruin my life and scar me forever. About how I know that it would change me and I would never be the same.

But I've grown since then. I worked through this realization with my therapist for months. As I've grown, I've come to know other women who have experienced something similar to, or worse than, what I did, and I've noticed something. Did it change who we are? Of course. Am I scarred for life? No. I'm finding that no, I'm not. Did it change who I was on a molecular level? No. It changed me. It made me fearful, for a while. But I was going to change anyways. And I wish that I could have changed without experiencing something horrible, but I am stronger because of it. I'm not saying I'm grateful for my sexual assault, but I am grateful for the lessons I've learned since then.

I was just a child back then, and I didn't know anything about boundaries and how to assert myself or how to say no. But I've learned those things now, and I'm not afraid of men anymore. I wish that I had been taught those things then.

That contrary to what 2019 me thought, despite my realization of my SA, I'm okay. My life hasn't changed that much. And I know that I'm one of the lucky ones, in terms of severity. I know that I walked away and that means that I was lucky.

I'm realizing now that there are more nefarious things at play in our society. What started out as something small, the Me Too movement is now a global movement. And it has helped women all over the world. In 2019, I didn't think that we would live in a world where when somebody had sexual assault allegations put up against them, we dropped those people from sponsorships, and stopped carrying their shows on n*tflix. I never thought that we would live in a world like that, but we do. We don't stand for men who don't respect women, and we certainly don't support them and give them our money.

What's happening in Texas right now with the Ab*rtion Act that is being put out is exactly the kind of thing that will happen if we stay silent. However, it is amazing to know that if we speak out through our social medias and write to our MLAs and Senators that we can make change. We don't sit back and let injustices happen like we used to. We fight, and we set our boundaries, and we say no. And it is making a difference. And sometimes we all need that reminder.

#unbelievable spoilers #tate rambles

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curlicuecal · 7 years ago

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I’d like to zoom in on one point from a thread on problematic material in fanworks if that’s okay.

mind the tags please

@rootfauna wrote:

In any case, maybe a kid who writes a fanfic of a 12 year old in a relationship with a 25 year old would benefit more from being told ‘This is not ok. This is abuse.” than being told “This is great! Keep it up!”.

@freedom-of-fanfic replied:

Can we go even softer here? If a kid writes a fanfic of a 12yo in a relationship with a 25yo - particularly if the story appears to be unprompted by canon* - they might benefit from being told not ‘this is not okay’, but rather asked: ‘are you okay?’ They might benefit from someone saying ‘do you realize that if a 12-year-old and a 25-year-old dated in real life it would be child molestation and the kid is being harmed?’ instead of admonishing the kid for their content, check in with them about whether they created the story from an autobiographical experience. and if they know it would be a problem in real life … leave them alone?

This actually got me thinking about something I wrote as a kid.And it’s not really something I’ve EVER talked about, but I feel like it’s important so, um. Okay, I’m gonna try. Please be nice to me; I’m feeling pretty vulnerable on this topic.

[a/n: okay, never mind, feeling too exposed. tl;dr for the backstory I’m deleting: when I was very young, and pretty much before internet fandom and fanfiction was really a thing, and before I even had a solid grasp on what sex was, I stealthily wrote a rape fantasy/story.]

And thinking about it now I’m like: yeah it is kind of weird that tiny-me had a fascination with the concept of rape. What triggered that? It could certainly have been a red flag of some kind of abuse.

Here’s the thing: the only type of sexual abuse that I was personally privy to as a child, was the rampant societal (and religious) message that as a woman I was Not Allowed to think about sexy things because that was dirty-wrong-bad. And also that sex was a weapon to be wielded against women. I was *tiny* and already the only cultural message I was receiving and internalizing about sex and consent was “it’s dirty and bad to be into it and women are supposed to say No.”

If you didn’t have sex you were a prude. If you did have sex you were a slut. Virginity was something a woman sacrificed that permanently changed and damaged her forever. Masturbation was a sin. Porn was evil. You were supposed to get married and spontaneously have sex some day and have it be amazing but you weren’t ever supposed to think about it or explore it in anyway beforehand and every time you did it was dirty and sinful and permanently devaluing you as a person. (Also I was super aware that I was only supposed to like boys, but that is a whole ‘nother post.)

And look: I lived in a fairly conservative community, but I had progressive parents. They were giving me pretty solid, heathy messages about consent and sex and your body, your choice. I was honestly pretty damn well-adjusted. Didn’t change the broader societal messages I was getting, or my need to find a safe, fictional place to start to process these conflicting, internalized messages.

I was desperately, desperately ashamed about anything relating to sex, even as I was just beginning to develop my curiosity and interest in it.

Anyway, I could certainly not have verbalized it at the time, but in retrospect, for ME that story and those types of fantasies were a way to explore the already extremely complicated and fraught feelings I was having about my relationship to sex, and, within a safe, imaginary world, give myself a place where I (or specifically, a female character I was writing) had “permission” (bleh) to have any sexual feelings at all. And from there to start untangling all those complicated feelings and working towards a healthy adulthood.

(Our society does not offer a lot of consent education or a lot of modeling of what healthy and unhealthy and realistic and unrealistic sexual relationships look like, so I did a lot of my growing and reflecting and self-educating in fandom, and not always in the safest spaces. It worked out okay. I would still LOVE if we could step up to the plate and stop expecting our children to passively acquire this education from strangers on the internet. But that’s getting off topic.)

So an interesting point about this:

If someone had found my 'babby’s first rape fic,’ gone “oh no, something’s wrong, she’s going to think rape is OK” and, in the spirit of protecting me from being sexually abused, told me “this is WRONG and DIRTY and BAD, you should NOT write this”…. they would have been precisely mimicking the societal abuse I was already struggling with and challenging by writing that story.

It would have fucked me right the fuck up.

How much? I don’t know. Some? Lots? *massive shrug*

'Cause yeah I could have used some safer, trusted, judgement-free places to check-in with. (And my mom DID provide this as much as she could, but we were struggling together with the cultural background of Sex Is Too Taboo to Speak Of.) As freedom-of-fanfic suggested, an “are you okay” and a safe space to talk FREELY is important for kids. But I was already petrified of being dirtywrongbad for even HAVING sexual thoughts. I definitely didn’t need someone making assumptions, judging/critiquing my inner life on the subject, and misattributing what was going on in my head.

And that story was not dirty, wrong, bad, or harmful. It was IMPORTANT. It was a tiny, tiny rebellion and reclamation of my own sexual identity from an incredibly sexually abusive society.

Speaking from my own experience, young women, young queer people, young people in general do not need MORE sexual shame or MORE sexual coercion.

That’s abuse, too.

#curlicue has opinions #purity culture #cn rape /#cn csa /#ok to reblog #any nastiness on this particular post will get blocked and deleted

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tiger-tally · 3 years ago

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Raishi: Konpeki no Shou (Part 2)

Well. That sure went places. Part 2 of the game covers the Wu-Yue storyline and is where things start getting really weird.

Fuchai and Bo Pi

The Wu Zixu getting dunked on parts are basically what you’d expect, with the odd bit of cringey anime humor mixed in. It also felt like there were more chapters of just pure cutscenes without any fun battles to break up waiting for my phone app to translate the dialogue. It took me forever to get through those chapters.

The one divergence is a budding romance between Wu Zixu and Ling Gufu (the guy who killed Helu), who, in this ‘verse, is a buff lady. She’s taken prisoner with Goujian and ends up working as a servant for Wu Zixu, who is really goin’ through it right now. She ends up sympathizing with him and he ends up finding comfort in her company while his relationships with Fuchai and Bo Pi are going increasingly badly with the help of (genderflipped) Wen Zhong’s plotting. That’s not to say the romance is particularly good. The game makes some...questionable choices writing women.

Anyway all this is to say that when Fuchai finally decided to kill Wu Zixu I was like, thank god.

In this version Bo Pi comes after Wu Zixu with an army. Wu Zixu originally intends to break through the enemy lines and go to Fuchai with what Bo Pi’s done...but Bo Pi tells him that he comes on Fuchai’s orders. Lin Gufu chooses to stay and fight with him, and gets killed. Cornered, Wu Zixu rips out his own eyes and tells Bo Pi that they’ll witness the fall of Wu...but before he can die, Nuwa’s minion swoops in. She offers him dark power if he’ll serve her goddess and create prosperity under absolute divine rule, a deal she can make anyone who’s been driven into despair.

So yeah. He goes over to the dark side to avenge Ling Gufu and make Fuchai pay for his betrayal. He commandeered Yue to take advantage of their preparations, and he’s the one who comes up with all their war crime tactics like having prisoners kill themselves on the frontline to intimidate the enemy. Frankly everyone in Yue is kind of terrified of him, but he’s too powerful to go against. Also Nuwa’s minion transforms into Xi Shi to seduce Fuchai and weaken him.

Wu Zixu conquers Wu and kills Bo Pi, but not before he gets to give him a verbal beatdown about how they all scorned Lin Gufu for being muscular when she was strong enough to survive in her harsh upbringing and difficult life...which would land better if the game itself hadn’t made that many jokes about her appearance. Xi Shi eats a screaming Fuchai while Wu Zixu watches.

Caveat that I experienced this entire game through Google Translate, but Nuwa was interested in this era apparently because she wanted to take away the story of Goujian as that of an inspirational human overcoming great odds? And I guess the flip side of that is that Wu Zixu doesn’t die a hero and lives to become a villain.

By this point news of the demonic duo has reached the time-traveling immortal representatives of the Five Emperors on a mission in this era, Shun and Tang. They’ve managed to recruit Shen Yinshu after his supposed death, and Fan Li, Wen Zhong, Gan Jiang, and Mo Ye want to come with them to help fight Nuwa. Goujian tries to cover for them, but Gan Jiang gets mortally wounded by Wu Zixu and Xi Shi as they try to escape, and Mo Ye sacrifices herself to create the ultimate sword for them. Tang opens a time portal and most of the others make it through, but Wen Zhong is captured. Xi Shi wants to eat her; Wu Zixu hold Xi Shi back to give her a worse fate. I’m pretty sure the implication is that Wu Zixu has her raped and Goujian mercy kills her at the end.

And that’s the last we see of Wu Zixu and Xi Shi in the game proper! They’re now the real powers of Yue, rewriting the historical records and governing it on behalf of Nuwa.

And I’m like...hmm. Writing choices were definitely made. Wu Zixu Lives AU is what everyone has wanted for him for 2500 years, but...like this?? I’m not even sure I can say it’s OOC, because when the grand overarching conflict is god vs. man I guess he’s the god of tides, and Wu Yue Chun Qiu already has him do some, uh, highly problematic things. The most OOC thing is probably him betraying Wu like that, but I guess that’s why the game gave him a fridged love interest to take revenge for. I really thought the game was going to go for a parallel with what he says in the prologue about being unable to believe that his father and brother would die to minimize the collateral damage from a king’s misrule, but nope, time for more vengeance!

Anyway I’ve finished the game, so I’ll write up the third act soon. It’s the most batshit of them all.

#raishi: konpeki no shou #wu zixu #wu yue contention #雷子紺碧の章

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personas-against-antis · 7 years ago

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My experience with anti-ism and back

Inspired by @huntypastellance's interviews with ex-antis, I decided to post my own story of how I became an anti and how I got out.

My inbox and messages are open in case anyone has any questions or wants to say anything.

Apologies for any typos, my typing is not the greatest.

Names have been changed to protect my friends’ privacy and to prevent certain antis mentioned from coming after me again.

Where It All Started

So back in middle school I fell in love with an anime called Hetalia, about the interactions between anthropomorphized versions of various countries. I had been in fandom for a while (my first big fandom was Sonic, but that was before antis went mainstream), and I was a pretty big follower of "don't like, don't read/look". When I joined, I immediately latched on to the ship AmeCan, or America/Canada.

They were cute and it was my OTP for a long time. The only problem with AmeCan is that, by a large majority of the fandom, America and Canada were considered brothers. I personally didn't see them that way, I saw them as adopted brothers at most, and I was always pretty squicked out by shippy fanfics that depicted them as biological brothers. The ship itself was still pretty big in that fandom, so I ignored the haters and immersed myself in fanart and fanfic.

I met a girl at my school (let's call her Duchess) who also liked Hetalia and we quickly hit it off. We soon asked what each other's OTPs were.

Me: Oh, I ship AmeCan.

Duchess: ...

Me: What is it?

Duchess: You realize they're brothers, right?

Me: Oh, I don't see them that way because [insert reasoning that I don't want to have to explain to non-Hetalians, just know that I explained that I didn't see them as brothers.]

Duchess: But it's canon. They canonly see each other as brothers.

Me: Oh...

In hindsight, I probably should have asked what she meant by “it’s canon”. Either way, I began to drift away from AmeCan due to lack of interest, and towards other ships (Romerica and AmeBela), and then to other fandoms. She still remained one of my closest friends.

Down The Rabbit Hole

I began to get really into kawaii culture and browsed the tags pretty regularly. Over time, I came across CG/L content. It squicked me out at first, but due to some sort of bile fascination, I began browsing CG/L blogs and began learning about that subculture. I actually enjoyed it quite a lot, but I knew that it would be inappropriate for someone my age (around 13-14 years old) to participate in kink, so I kept my distance and admired it from afar.

Soon, Duchess brought it up at lunch.

Duchess: I really hate seeing DDGL stuff everywhere.

Me: Haha, yeah...

Duchess: I mean, It's practically pedophilia!

Me: Mhm...

That's what I had thought at first too, before researching it. But she kept talking about it.

Duchess: They're sexualizing children, and children's toys! It's so gross! I actually made a blog against it.

Me: Whoa, really?

Duchess showed me her anti-CGL blog and I quickly followed it because she was my friend, and slowly began to follow other anti-DDLG blogs as well, even making my own: rise-against-ddlg. I took it down due to lack of interest, but antis had already grown on tumblr, and I was torn between my "don't like, don't look" policy, and wanting to "help" survivors. So outwardly, I became an anti, while guiltily reading "problematic" fic and playing "problematic" games in secret.

One such problematic game was Yandere Simulator, and I began to browse those tags too, when I discovered another anti blog, this time against Yandere Simulator and Alex Mahan, a.k.a. Yandere Dev. I learned he was fairly homophobic, sexist, and transphobic, especially in his own private chatroom, and began to idolize that anti blog. Suddenly, they released an invitation to a Skype group chat. Eager to meet my heroes, I quickly applied and was approved.

The Group Chat Incident

I loved that chat. It started with 15 people, but slowly trickled down to nine, including myself. I found myself isolating myself away from my real life friends and family, too focused on the group chat, as they made dropping out of high school and staying online all day sound cool. I kissed up to them, desperate to be seen as a good person. But, soon, I began to question myself and the group. The mods were very against "problematic" content, like Killing Stalking, and NSFW depictions of minors, but were also quick to draw NSFW of minors (specifically Budo and Senpai from YS). I introduced them tot he game Boyfriend To Death, and one of them quickly latched on to the character of Rire, who brutally rapes the protagonist in game, despite them being against rape. The main mod even introduced the group to a game called Artificial Academy 2, in which you can rape others and be raped.

...There was a lot of rape and NSFW in that chat.

But, there was also a hierachy. At the top were the two main mods of that YS blog, Mod H and Mod J. Joining them at the top was a very cool person and a good artist who acted very much like an older sibling to all of us, Member M. Then, there were three more people who tended to kiss Mod H, Mod J, and Member M's asses, and at the bottom was me, my friend Foam, and Member C. Mod H was the ruler of that chat. Anything they said, went, and if you disagreed, they'd suddenly play victim, manipulating and gaslighting you into apologizing. They loved Dragon Age, and now that game has been forever tainted for me, considering how much they shoved it down my throat. They would also tease me and my interest in Persona 5 (saying that the protagonist looked like The Onceler, subsequently calling me a "Onceler Fucker" for finding him attractive, along with making fun of when my tongue slipped and pronounced "Goro" as "Gort"), only stopping when I had Foam address the group to tell them to stop. There was a livestream that I was really excited for, talking about it since it was announced and they seemed hyped for me as well. Only when I placed a rabb.it link in the chat so we could all watch, only Member C showed up. When I returned to that chat, they were watching Yuri On Ice, and they wouldn't even let me talk about my livestream.

During that time period, I created a group chat for me, Foam, and another internet friend I will call Emilia. I though Foam and Emilia would get along really well, so i formed a Skype chat with them, and allowed them to talk. Slowly though, me and Foam began to use that chat to bitch about the group chat behind their backs, because we were terrified of the backlash if we tried to criticize them to their faces, due to Mod H's tactics of avoiding conflict. We soon added Member C to the chat as well, after they were constantly getting dogpiled by the rest of the chat.

That December, the Bode meme was in full swing and Foam mentioned in the group chat that he didn't get it. The group chat immediately began to make fun of him and I, sick of letting them control our lives, stood up for him. The group chat just continued to dogpile and we continued to try and fight until Mod H eventually left the chat, in one of their methods to get us to apologize to them. I was feeling overwhelmed and also left, and Foam tried to surrender and tell the chat to stop, but they wouldn't let up and he left too. Member C was the only member we remained on good terms with who was still in the group chat.

I made a post on my blog saying that i didn't want to interact with those people anymore and they got mad and began to try and message me. I eventually messaged an official statement, citing their abuse of me and Foam, and blocked all of them across social media.

They created a fake blog to get around the block, and I was dumb enough to fall for it.

Member C even turned on us, revealing me and Foam's messages with her and claiming we were abusing and bullying them. Suffice to say, I cut off all contact with Member C and changed my main blog's URL.

I was harassed and stalked and I carried that fear of them looking at my blog for a long time. I still worry about it sometimes.

The worst part, in my opinion, was that I changed my own name that I had chosen for myself because it had become a trigger for me hearing them say it so many times. And I really, really loved that name.

There was so much hypocrisy, so much fear in that chat. Now, looking back, I wished I had never joined, but in those months after I left...I felt empty inside. Aimless.

Out of curiosity, I looked up cult behaviors, and that chat hit nearly every single one. It's scary looking back on it. Even writing this, over a year after I left, my heart hurts.

But even leaving a cultish group chat didn't knock me out of anti-ism.

Villain Ships and Past Revelations

Remember how I mentioned that I love Persona 5? Well, I ship a ship called ShuAke, which a very loud subset of people claim is abusive.

Spoilers for Persona 5 up ahead.

ShuAke is a ship between the protagonist (shujinko in Japanese, which is where the "shu" comes from) and Goro Akechi. I shipped ShuAke since before Goro's name was announced, when all we knew was his design. Goro turned out to be a detective hunting the Phantom Thieves, the protagonist's group. The cat and mouse aesthetic really suited my fancy, with the protagonist's thief alter ego, Joker, seducing the naive Detective Prince. Swoon.

Of course, the ship shattered when the game was released in Japan and it turns out Goro tried to kill the protagonist, was working for the bad guy, and betrayed the whole group.

I was shocked and essentially went through the five stages of grief. I was torn between abandoning the "abusive" ship and evil character...or ignoring the haters and shipping it anyway. After way too much debate, I chose the latter and stuck with it.

The anti-ism died down quickly due to a lot of the fandom hibernating until the English release, and I happily shipped ShuAke and supported Goro Akechi with little objection. Even when the game was released in English, I stood my ground and even argued in support of Goro with anons.

And yet, I still considered myself an anti.

Late May of last year, some repressed memories came to light. I had been sexually abused by a close family member and a few girls at camp when I was younger, with other fragmented and questionable memories in my brain. It put my past into light, as I had also had a self destructive habit of attempting to seduce older men online, due to low self esteem. That was not a fun week for me, and I found myself diving into dark fic, particularly rape fic, in order to make sense of it all. I even wrote some in an effort to just get it out of my brain.

And it worked. It was really therapeutic for me.

And yet...

I still considered myself an anti. Every word I read or wrote was mixed with guilt over what I was doing, even though it worked. While I'm still a sexual abuse survivor, as I always will be, I'm much more well-adjusted by participating in those dark activities, rather than wallowing in self pity and slipping into a depression, like my old group chat would have expected me to do.

I dropped anti-ism later, with the help of one blog.

Back to "DL,DR"

The blog @anti-anti-survivor was recommended to me, and anti!me, looking for a laugh, clicked on it...and soon found that pretty much everything they said made sense to me. I saw Mod h in the people they argued with, Member C in the people they called out...and I realized that I had never been an anti, just hiding behind that label.

I sent an anonymous message to them (though I guess it isn't so anonymous anymore, ha), thanking them for opening my mind to it, and created my own anti-anti blog. I realize I'm not very active on here, but, well, I'm lazy and I'm more of a reader than anything else.

And of course, there was another problem.

Antis are fucking everywhere.

I'm terrified of posting pro-shipping stuff on my main, and I'm terrified of admitting I like problematic ships. I'm in a Discord server that keeps spouting anti-kink and anti-ship stuff, and I have to keep my mouth shut or risk being banned, just because most of the time they're really nice. Duchess even messaged me one day, absolutely shocked that I admitted to shipping Shidge.

I'm happy now that I don't have to feel that guilt but, reading what antis do and then finding out that people I hang out with are antis...it's horrifying. I'm not a confrontational person. I never have been. But I'm sick of rolling over and accepting what everyone else deems is problematic fiction.

I'm mentally ill, a sexual abuse survivor, and dark fic and dark shipping helps me cope.

Deal with it.

#pro shipping #anti anti testimony

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moviesmakethegirl · 7 years ago

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BEAUTIFUL GIRLS

Beautiful Girls, directed by Ted Demme and released in 1996, is an American classic romantic comedy that is timeless. It's relateable, funny, sad, kinda creepy, and problematic at times because it was written in the 90's and for some reason writers loved to write words that are totally demeaning and derogatory to LGBTQ+ people and in no way shape or form do I agree with the use of these words in this film. It honestly breaks my heart that they say the F word a couple of times in this movie. I do not use that word, and I do not believe it was necessary to put in the script. Remake this movie in today's time, and there would be none of that shit in it, I know it. I hold this movie in high regard, but I have to point out the major flaws and that is the biggest flaw. So, here I am to talk about this movie that I've watched almost more than any other movie in my life. I'm gonna spoil it for most of you, but hopefully not enough that it deters you from watching it and excusing the bullshit that they got away with cause it was the 90s.

The movie starts with Willie Conway, played by little Timothy Hutton who has the most gorgeous blue eyes I have ever seen on a screen. He's seen playing piano in a smokey bar, grabbing what little tips he makes and buying a bus ticket to who the hell knows. A true testament to the 90s here is smoking in the bar. Something that I would have taken full advantage of if I was in my 20s in the 90s. Now, the whole point of this movie is that friends reunite to go to their 10 year high school reunion. So, Willie goes back to his hometown with a pack of cigarettes and loose one dollar bills while the beginning credits play. During this time, we see a young almost Hulk looking Matt Dillon plowing snow in a fancy as fuck (for the 90s) driveway. He is accompanied by his colleague, Kev who always wears a beanie and is basically always drunk (he's a good character). Now, we see a woman come out with coffee mugs and she thanks them for doing their jobs and tells them she ran out of Styrofoam cups. Matt Dillon aka Birdman aka Birdy aka Tommy (SO MANY NICKNAMES FOR ONE CHARACTER!) tells her he will bring the mugs back. The woman slinks back into her house while Tommy looks at her like a piece of meat (fucking 90s). Now, BLESS KEV'S SOUL cause Kev knows these two are doing the ditty dance and he points out "She's married, Tommy." My voice of reason Kev, forever in my heart. Soon after this, Tommy and Kev meet up at a diner with another plow truck driver named Paul who is played by the amazingly witty Michael Rapaport. Easily the best acted character in the movie, easily the most problematic and sleaziest, but by God if he doesn't move the plot of this story to perfection. Paul is complaining about his girlfriend sleeping with another man because she won't answer his phone call at 5 in the fucking morning. He claims she's sleeping with a butcher which is ironic because his girlfriend, Jan, is a vegetarian. IRONY GUYS, AM I RIGHT? Gotta love some good irony. Anyways, the boys fuck around at the diner until Paul leaves to go start shit with his girlfriend at the crack of dawn cause that's how to get girl to not be mad at you. We then see Paul using his plow shovel on his truck to push the snow in front of Jan's garage so she can't get out. King of romance here, guys. And that's how they introduce the main male characters. Now we know that Willie, Tommy, and Paul are all connected but how?

The movie goes back to Willie, who gets picked up at the bus station by his high school bff Mo. Now, before I say anymore, Mo is the best male character in this movie and I will defend Mo with all my breath and then some. Mo is life. Mo is love. Now, back to the movie. Mo has two kids who are useless and dumb and only in the movie to show that time has passed in this town. He drives Willie back to his childhood house where Willie spots an unknown teenager living next door. Willie's home life is sad. His father doesn't say much after having lost his wife, I don't know how that's never explained in the movie. He and his father exchange a cute little convo about watching golf and Willie goes upstairs to unpack. His little brother played by the not so famous yet David Arquette is obviously a little on his hinges stops by to say hello. He tells Willie that the old neighbors moved out and some other humans moved in and doesn't know anything about them cause it's life and no one actually knows their neighbors. And now that he's said his hellos to his family, Willie goes out on the town! He meets up with Paul to grab beers and go hang at the boy's pad. Tommy is sitting on the couch with his girlfriend Sharon who is asleep on his lap when Willie and Paul come in screaming and hooting and hollering. Now, HOW Sharon doesn't wake up from this, I'll never know. It honestly takes me out of the movie, cause this movie is pretty true to real life so what the fuck ever, I'm moving on. Anyways, Willie goes into Paul's room that is covered with naked photos of models. Willie is concerned and asks if Paul has any heads in his freezer that he should look for, which is 100% understandable. But, I was the high school girl who had her walls covered in pictures of famous men, so honestly, who I am really to judge?? Actually, I can judge cause Paul is supposed to be like 28, 29 in this film and his wall looks like mine did when I was 17, so again, beware of heads in the freezers. He then goes on to monologue about how beautiful girls are the last salvation of this world, a "promise of a new tomorrow." It's actually a pretty eloquent speech from an ape of a character and really gives you insight to the fact that Paul is just lonely and truly wants love but is plagued by society telling him what he should deserve by being a man (HEAVY SIGH). But before this, which I forgot to mention, there's a scene where Paul goes to propose to Jan while she's working. He just hands her the ring, which is brown, and she obviously says no cause Paul is just a really tall infant and he gets so goddamn salty like he didn't just block her in his driveway with snow that very morning. So it's even more insight into just how sad Paul truly is and how broken he is inside that he needs to cope with "beautiful girls." Paul reminds me of an onion. And you all know where I'm going with that metaphor.

Then we move on to Willie by himself. He finds himself at Mo's, catching up with his family when he mentions that he might become a traveling salesman instead of being a piano player in smoky bars. Mo's wife thinks it's a great idea, Mo, however, is distraught. Rightfully so, cause the best thing Willie has going for him in hotness is that he's a piano player. Mo gets on his case about not being able to sell anything and it's really a good Mo moment. Willie then goes home to comtemplate, like any piano player would, only to be sidetracked by the quicky teenage girl who lives next door. Everyone, listen to me. This is important. There is a 13 year old girl in this movie who is probably the most important part of this movie and she is played by 13 year old Natalie Portman. I KID YOU THE FUCK NOT. Marty, named after the grandfather she never knew, is a wise beyond her years, old soul teenager who puts Willie's life into perspective. She is mad upfront about his family life, blantanly saying "Your mom is dead, isn't she?" the very first time she meets him. She intrigues him with her vast vocabluary. It's really a shameless conversation between an adult and teenager, but it's lingers in the silences which makes most uneasy upon their first watch of this movie. I, however, love this realtionship. I am not about statutory rape, but I am for philosphoical, tragic love stories so this is kind of up my alley in a weird twisted way.

Next up, we get the beautiful girls. Sharon and Tommy are seen post coital which Sharon not too happy. She accuses Tommy of having an affair with his old high school girlfriend, Darian (fucking really? Couldn't pick a better name? Whatever). Now, Darian is the chick who gave Tommy and Kev the coffee mugs in the first scene. I forgot to mention that, excuse me. Tommy then gets on Sharon's case about having an eating disorder cause it was the 90s and people could just say WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANTED RIGHT NO CONSEQUENCESSSSKLDFKL;DFKLJGDFJKH. Anyways, Sharon then leaves to go be with her girls cause fuck guys. Her girls are Mo's wife and the hilarious Rosie O'Donnell. They tell her that Tommy is horrible and she should leave (fucking DUH). Sharon then gets all moody and defensive and is like "isn't it my fault?" and NO BITCH NOTHING IS YOUR FAULT! Tommy is a fucking DOUCHE BAG WHO DOESN'T DESERVE YOUUUUUUUU! I scream that literally everytime I see that scene. BUT THANK GOD FOR ROSIE cause the next scene is her talking to Tommy and Willie. She basically just screams at them while she is running errands and telling them that their fantasy girls don't exist. That men rely too much on outer beauty that they are gonna get sick of these models after a couple nights of knowing them. She goes into detail about the nasty things that real women have to deal with like boobs sagging and pubic hair, all while saying hello to old friends in the supermarket. It's humerous to say the least, it's real, and it's just outstanding writing, in my opinion. It's totally undercut by Tommy and Willie not grasping what she has to say, but you know that deep down they truly understand her, they're just being little bitches cause THEY'RE BOYS AND BOYS ARE BITCHES.

So now that we've had the girls talk about the boys, the boys all meet up at a bar. Now here's the fun part, cause the bar owner is an old friend of the crew and he lets the boys do whatever they want. It's a cool place. So when the boys, who are all children in my opinion besides Mo and Kev, see that the owner's cousin is in town, they try to act all cool and shit which fails miserably because the cousin in question is none other than the number one bombshell herself, UMA FUCKING THURMAN! I have a terribly huge obsession with Uma and it all started with her in this movie. She has been bae for a lot of my life. Sorry, I'm just here to rave about how much I love Uma Thurman and she deserves the world. Now, she's the "cool girl" from Chicago who was "born with a boyfriend." She gets the boys shots and asks about them. She finds out Willie plays the piano and asks him to play. He then starts playing "Sweet Caroline" lead by a drunk Kev, bless his heart. Mo, also wasted, really gets into the song and it makes me happy. This is the only time I'm happy to hear a Neil Diamond song, honestly. It's a feel good scene and it has Uma in it, I love it.

So, Sharon, little lovely Sharon, has planned a surprise birthday for the worst boyfriend in history. She goes all out and everyone is involved and while she is trying to surprise Tommy, he AGAIN mentions her eating disorder and makes me want to punch in the face but it's all ok because she surprised him for his birthday and he loves her again and all is well YAY! There's fucking lobster at this party, like a lobster bar and everyone is drinking beer and eating lobster and dancing and having the time of their lives. Honestly, where the fuck was my invite? Why does no one I know have surprise birthday parties with a lobster bar??? We are slacking. Then, horror strikes. A drunk Darian shows up and casts the biggest dark cloud I've ever seen. Like I feel akward just watching it. She then walks straight up to Tommy and tries to give him a present and kiss him IN FRONT OF EVERYONE INCLUDING SHARON! WOOOOOOOOW DARIANNNNN. So, Sharon leaves and Tommy feels bad. Oh poor Tommy, cheating on a girl who loves you with a girl who's fucking married and now your birthday is ruined woe is fucking you. Tommy tries to make amends by going to Sharon's mom's house and asking for forgiveness which SHE SHUTS THE DOOR ON HIM! YAAAASS SHAROONNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

Back at the party though, Willie and Mo are drunk and have outstayed everyone. They start talking about shit and Willie brings up 13 year old Marty. Mo, obivously grossed out cause DUH, says some great words of wisdom. He even points out that "when you were in the 7th grade, she was a zygote." Points to Mo for keeping it real this entire film. Willie understands, but you know deep down inside he wants to wait for this bitch which like YEAH ME TOO I WOULD WAIT FOR NATALIE PORTMAN but also dude....come on. Willie, in a drunken state, proclaims "I just want something beautiful." To which Mo responds, "We all want something beautiful." AND THAT IS THE MOMENT IN THIS FILM THAT I LIVE FOR. I FUCKING LOVE THAT LINE SAID BY MO JUST YES YES YES! It's so true but it's so subjective and so vague and when I round out this post, I will go deeper into that.

SO YOU GUYS NEXT IS THE ICE SKATING SCENE. WOW OK LEMME CALM DOWN QUICK CAUSE THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT SCENE IN THE MOVIE TO ME CAUSE I'M A TRAGIC ROMANTIC AT HEART. So, Mo takes Willie ice skating with his kids. Willie leaves to go hang out in the ice house where Paul and Kev are in. He then leaves to go have a cigarette only to see Marty ice skating with her friends. He goes over to her, which causes Mo to side eye him the entire time YAS MO. Willie and Marty start talking about Willie's girlfriend back in the city, which causes Marty to say that she "broke up" with her boyfriend. She then says that she wants Willie to be her boyfriend and he hits the breaks realllll hard. He then says one of the most poetic and saddest things I've heard in a film and he looks her in the eyes and says that she's gonna outgrow him like Christopher Robin outgrew Pooh. HE SAYS TO A FUCKING 13 YEAR OLD THAT HE CANNOT BE THE POOH TO HER CHRISTOPHER ROBIN AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. One, poor Marty cause she's gonna live with that the rest of her life. Two, omfg. Three, I love that Willie understands what it's like to be a teenager and what it's like to grow up and not want what you wanted from the past. Like as easy as it sounds to grasp that, I have found that most people haven't. And he served it to this 13 year old chick who has never met anyone who can match her mental capacity until Willie and she skates away all sad but totally understanding. LIKE JFC THE RESPECT IN THAT SCENE IS WHAT GETS ME. Both acting like true adults, both accepting the truth like two adults even though one is an adult in a 13 year old body and the other is a 13 year old trapped in an adults body.

So Paul asks out Uma's character named Andera (AN-DEER-UH) to make his old gf Jan jealous. OH DOES IT WORK, who wouldn't get jealous if their ex brought Uma with them to a bar? Andera gets up to leave since Paul is being a douche, what's new, but he comes clean and says he is trying to make an ex jealous so she totally plays along. She gets all up on him and grinds her little body against his like she's getting paid to. Jan leaves and Paul, being the ever so smart and classsy dude he always has been, tries to kiss Andera which then results in her slapping him and leaving as well. She walks home by herself on a snowy night only to run into prince charming number 2, Tommy. He asks if she needs and ride and she says no and he asks her what does it take to be with a girl? She replies with something so simple, yet so romantic omfg. She says, "I'm easy. A guy's gotta say 4 words to me. 'Good-night, sweet girl.'" LIKE BITCH, THAT'S NOT MUCH, BUT I FUCKING GET IT. She then leaves Tommy and he's all smitten in his truck cause Uma has that affect on everyone. She then goes to the bar, to find Willie drunk at the piano. She starts to talk to him and he's trying to get her to go home with him and she says no until he asks her to go ice fishing to which she says YES! Cause who wouldn't, right?? Anyways, he takes her to the ice shed and they talk about how Willie is afraid for his longtime gf to meet his family and how he feels the pressure of asking her to marry him. He then asks Andera what could be more perfect than having sex with a stranger in a ice house to which she replies, A RAINY SUNDAY MORNING WITH HER BOYFRIEND, READING THE NEW YORK TIMES, DRINKING MARTINIS, AND LISTENING TO VAN MORRISON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you guys see why I'm so obsessed with her character yet? Willie nods his head, he understands, WE ALL UNDERSTAND! That literally sounds like the most perfect day in the world! I would switch martini's to margaritas and the NYT to Stranger Things but still, come the fuck on. Andera leaves him in the shed, telling him he needs to have a conversation with his girlfriend.

So the girlfriend, played by Annabeth Gish, comes into town the night of the high school reunion. You probably forgot this was about a high school reunion cause I always forget that until the end. Anyways, she gets along famously with his family and they get ready for the reunion. They pregame at Mo's cause why not? Tommy, however, decides to skip the reunion. Darian told her eariler on that her husband was gonna be out of town that night so Tommy could come over but he said NO WAY JOSE! Which, ok cool, but still fuck Tommy. So, he is at the bar by himself when he runs into Darian's husband!! Who isn't out of town and is at the bar with three of his dude friends and they, of course, beat the shit out of Tommy. So of course, the friends back at Mo's get a call saying that Tommy is in the hospital and Mo gets fucking crazy. He jumps into the car with Willie and Paul and they drive to Darian's house and Mo starts beating the shit out of Darian's husband. It's a lot, honestly cause Mo goes full on Hulk but stops when he sees Darian's daughter at the front door, asking if her daddy is alright. Mo settles the fuck down and gets back into the car and they drive to the hospital to see Tommy. There is so much testosterone in that scene, it's almost as if i have to shower after it.

So the next day, Willie and his girlfriend are packing their bags to go home. He has decided to go back to the city and not become a salesman. His girlfriend convinces him that sales men aren't sexy, but piano players are like YAASS GIRL SPEAK THE TRUTH! During their goodbyes, Marty comes out to say her final words to Willie and I always cry cause deep down inside I wish they could be together. Like I wish he was younger or she was older. Shit. Anyways, he tells her that she's gonna do great things with her life and she's like duh I know. It's amazing. They stop at the hospital to say goodbye to Tommy, who has Sharon sleeping on his lap again in a very uncomfortable looking position and again SHE DOESN'T WAKE UP TO THEM TALKING AT FULL VOLUME! Willie says goodbye to his longtime, problematic friend and then almost as if on cue, Sharon wakes up. Willie meets Mo outside in the hallway who brought his kids who then jump on an injured Tommy and I think that's poetic justice. It ends with Willie leaving town, Kev is back on the street plowing it, Paul is unhappy and single cause he's an asshole who needs to grow the fuck up THOUGH I didn't mention this but after the Tommy fight, Paul goes to Jan's house and takes all the snow away from her garage cause he knows he acted a fool to her and that's his way of apologizing which isn't amazing but it's a start and I can respect him for that. Mo ends up good. Tommy and Sharon end up together which kinda grinds my gears but whatever. Everyone seems to be in a good place at the end of the movie and I love it.

So to me, this movie is about the subjective nature of beauty. Yes, beauty is important but it's the inner beauty that matters. The beauty of growing up and going through life's ups and downs. The beauty of friendship and how no matter what shitty things you friends do, there's a bond that exists and you have to help them find a way through the bad shit. The beauty of being in love, in having a family, in being a musician, in being a snow plower, in being confused about what you want. Life is beautiful, and it's real. The whole "everyone wants something beautiful" line speaks to me so much cause Mo is the one who said it, and to Mo, beauty is his family. To me, beauty is the love that surrounds me from my friends and family. Everyone is searching for something they can have and hold, but the truth is that beauty is omnipresent, for lack of a better word. Beauty is subjective. Beauty isn't a beautiful girl, it's life. There's beauty in the lessons you learn from abtaining something you held in high regard and learning that it isn't what it's all jacked up to be. The monologue that Rosie has where she says the boys would get tired of models after a couple months is what this movie is about. It's the whole loving what you got philosphy. I related so much to this movie as a teenager because I held celebrities in very hig regards. I had posters all over my room and doors and even in my hallway. I was so into the idea of a hot celebrity boy being my boyfriend because I didn't know them, I could make them the perfect man in my mind. Only to wake the fuck up and realize that in real life, these men aren't like that. I was living in a fantasy world but here I was putting beautiful people on a pedastal and not really grapsing the true beauty in life. That's what I get out of this movie and that's why it's my favorite romantic comedy of all time. It's my favorite movie of all time, behind Fight Club which I will write about some other day.

Thank you for reading this, if you did. I hope to do many more of these with your support. I hope I made you laugh, I hope I made you think, I hope I gave you a good movie recommendation!

THESE PHOTOS ARE NOT MINE. I FOUND THEM ON GOOGLE. I CLAIM NO OWNERSHIP OF THEM. IF ANYONE KNOWS WHOSE PICTURES THEY ARE, GO AHEAD AND TELL ME AND I WILL CREDIT THEM!

#beautiful girls #movies #maddy talks movies #1996 #timothy hutton #uma thurman #michael rapaport #matt dillon #rosie odonnell #natalie portman #ted demme

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moonlitgleek · 7 years ago

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What do you think about the Undercover!Jon theory (in regards to Daenerys)? I like it because it means D&D didn't completely assassinate Jon's character development because... Dany is hot? On the one hand, it's really shitty, bcause Dany is kind of consenting under false beliefs. On the other hand, she kept Jon a hostage and refused to let him leave unless he bent the knee and has a shown inclination to burn people (and their families) who doesn't do what she wants.

No matter what I think about how the writers chose to write Dany’s story, no matter my reservations about how Dany has been depicted for the last three seasons or so, one thing will be always immutable: Dany does not deserve to be raped-by-deception, which is what that undercover theory frames the sex between her and Jon.

And anon, why stop at the things Dany did that you do not like? Why not list it all? Like when she got on a dragon and flew all the way to the North to save Jon and the others, like when she pledged to fight for the North before Jon bent the knee. Dany did let Jon leave without bending the knee and did not burn him or Davos when they refused to bend the knee. That does not mean I do not have problems with some of the things Dany have done because the show’s attempt to make her ~problematic~ and insistence on teasing the Mad Queen thing even after they explicitly presented Cersei as the Mad Queen made Dany inconsistent and inexplicably and randomly cruel at times with a tendency to give speeches that make her look very bad, but let’s not erase her heroics and just talk about the things we found off-putting.

But regardless of what she may or may not have done or what we thought of it, the fact remains that nothing would make such a story deserved. Sexual violence is not, and will never be, an appropriate response to anything. That’s just icky and puts the blame of the crime on the person who was violated with the implication that “if they hadn’t done X, they wouldn’t have gotten raped” which only perpetuates rape culture. No. Fuck that idea with a rusty spear. No one deserves to have that done to them, not even the villains in the story (and Dany is decidedly NOT a villain) Gosh, there is no argument on what place Cersei occupies in the narrative, but I’d still fight anyone that says that she deserved what Robert did to her. Hell no.

And to do that in the name of advancing a male character’s story? So that Jon’s character doesn’t get assassinated? Um, how is it not character assassination for Jon to be turned into a rapist? Is it honestly better for Jon to be a manipulative rapist than to have him simply fall in love? More importantly, haven’t we had enough sexual violence visited on a woman to frame the character of a man?

(And on the subject of character assassination, that was not simply a matter of Jon doing something because Dany was hot. While I’m sure that his feelings for her played a role, Jon did not bend the knee to Dany because he liked her, he did it when he saw for himselfthat she was a queen worth bending the knee to, a queen who would put the safety of the realm above her quest for the throne. Jon did not bend the knee when she bargained with him, making his submission the price of her fighting for the North. But Dany was no longer asking for a price. She paid a price in coming to aid him, risking her life and losing a dragon in the process. She told him she’d fight for the North with no strings attached, with no expectations from him. She put the realm above the crown in the same way Stannis did when he sailed to the Wall to rescue the Night’s Watch from Mance’s army. That was an adaptation of Stannis’ speech from back when he came to the Night’s Watch’s aid, a point about how a monarch earns the crown rather than just stomping their feet demanding fealty.)

Honestly, I hate that undercover theory with a burning passion for what it does to both Dany and Jon. It victimizes Dany for absolutely no reason and makes her reward for refusing to leave Jon and the others to their fate be a cruel violation coming from someone she trusted. It turns Jon into a cruelly calculating individual concocting a plot worthy of the Lannisters from the onset of this plot, meaning that he met good faith with treachery (but apparently that’s totally fine because Dany! kept him!! a hostage!!!). It means that he deceived Dany and went on to sleep with her after she already pledged to fight for the North, and just what does that accomplish? I’ve seen it argued that perhaps Jon started off planning to use Dany but then fell in love with her which is…. Jorah Mormont’s story. Or perhaps he only noticed Dany’s feelings on Dragonstone and decided to use them for his gain…. which sound awfully similar to the Joffrey\Cersei method with Sansa in the first book\season. Right. What a company for Jon to keep.

I do not think that the show is ever going there tbh. They are simply too invested in having Jon keep the moral high ground always and forever, and they are using the “uber-romatic” pairing of Lyanna and Rhaegar as a backdrop for Dany and Jon’s own romance. While such a story could be interesting and nuanced in the hands of capable writers, David and Dan are neither capable, nor particularly interested in tackling complicated relationships (see how they stripped the story about Lyanna and Rhaegar down to “they were in wuve. and Robert’s Rebellion was build on a lie. uwu”). I wouldn’t want them near such a story to be honest, if only for the sake of the safety of my laptop since I’m sure to hurl it against a wall if I had to watch what they might think is proper handling of it. They won’t need it anyway, the tension between Jon and Dany is guaranteed once Aegongate is brought to light, and Dany might just suspect Jon of playing her based on the truth of his parentage alone.

#got #daenerys targaryen #jon snow #Anon asks #ask box

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weirdlyshan1127-blog · 7 years ago

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Sexuality & The Media

So this is a heavy post to start with when I have like zero followers but it's been on my mind.

I really wanna start with Riverdale and Jughead's asexuality - or should I say lack of. Now I'm giving the writers and showrunners a chance here and I'm being patient and I get they might be having his character figure out his sexuality but it was the him and Betty almost having sex scene I didn't like. Only because of how it was played out. Okay let's for example take a gay character who's still figuring himself out and he has girlfriend and they're making out or going to have sex you usually get subtle hints which I would have liked to see with Jughead so they could bring his asexuality into it. Now as controversial as this is I'm just gonna say it. A lot more people would be angry if they had changed Kevin's sexuality and they would call the writers homophobic but no one cares about asexuality because I suppose in their eyes it doesn't add to the story like other LGBTQ+ characters do

Bisexuality in the media - I'm tired of seeing bisexuals portrayed as slutty or really sexuality experienced in everything. Also what really annoys me is when they date one gender all their lives then suddenly fall for another gender only for them to break up and the person go back to the other gender forever. Almost giving the image for example a bisexual guy can only have one boyfriend but 60 girlfriends and vise versa. I noticed this a lot in degrassi for example Paige and Miles' storylines.

On that note degrassi has made major breakthroughs I think it's time for the positives now. They've introduced several characters of different sexualities and avoided being stereotypical and rude. They also had a "ground breaking" transgender character Adam Torres.

Now onto one of my favourite shows. Shadowhunters. I'm also going to mention the book series (the mortal instruments) and the movie (the mortal instruments city of bones)

Now we all know who I'm going to be talking about of course it's MALEC!!!

As I'm still reading the books I can't judge to harshly but from what I've been told and what I've read Malec is there for diversity. Now of course there's nothing wrong with that but some fans feel that's all they were put there for. Basically to be the gay couple and I have heard rude things regarding Cassie honestly I think most of it is just people trying to make something out of nothing but I do notice that from what I've read so far most of the relationships are explored very deeply accept for Malec

Now for the movie. They didn't give us much to work with on that - and no it's not because they're homophobic guys!! It's because they didn't have time. What did annoy me a little is Clary had almost no contact with him when she asked Izzy if he was gay. Now I understand it was in the books but the books had more context when it came to the movie it just seemed thrown in and unnecessary.

Now onto the TV show oohhhhh the controversy. From the creators apparently being homophobic to them over sexualising gay couples to undersexualising gay couples (I mean come on no one can forget the fade to black scene) and even suggested rape theories??? (Again fade to black scene. Which has FINALLY been rectified). I could go on all day about how they represent malec as a happy normal couple as they should do but also how they tended to shy away from a lot in the beginning but we'd be here all day.

Onto the last show I'm thinking of. I tried to stick with mostly shows because books get so problematic with sexuality it's unnatural and with movies it's less noticeable a lot of the time.

Sooo the fosters. I'm a fan and it's great and I love how all of the LGBTQ+ community is deeply explored but sometimes I feel like it's too deeply explores - plEASE don't attack me. But sometimes I feel they go too far and it makes then separate people who are different while they're actually trying to integrate them? If that makes sense.

Anyway I'm open for discussion if you wanna hate me that's okay too I guess just try not to be negative. I have tried to be non biased ALSO it's nearly three am so there WILL be typos. I apologise - I might regret this in the morning if anyone actually sees this.....

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gwynne-fics · 7 years ago

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Pictures

month five

“I want to deal him before Eun-Sang returns home. Do you think I’m ready?”

Kyung-Ran took the water bottle he offered her and she appeared mildly concerned. “I think this deal is going to make you very sick,” she said after a moment. “I’ve never seen a death dealer like you, Young-Do. I didn’t think that turning off your love for your wife would affect you as harshly as it has. I think part of that was giving you a piece of my aura.”

It was a little difficult to feel like all of his training these last few months might not be enough. He closed his eyes and exploded two of the mannequins. “I need to hunt,” he said hoarsely. “It’s never affected me like this but I feel it. He’s been my prey for months now. I finally have someone to…eat.”

“I think you are physically ready,” Kyung-Ran said after a few moments. She didn’t comment on his choice of words. “I think it will be a fast and a clean deal because he is exactly the type of criminal you feed on. I’m just not sure how your aura is going to handle the death. His deals are…messy. Like mine.”

“No. Not like yours. He deals in children.” Young-Do opened his eyes. “If I’m going to get sick, I need to do it sooner. I don’t want to be sick when Eun-Sang gets home.”

“I will be with you the entire time, my son. If you get sick, I will be by your side the entire time. If you get dangerous, I will protect your sister and niece. I will bring your wife back to heal you.”

She understood his priorities so well. He felt so selfish during this time. He still didn’t know her but she knew him.

“Thank you…omma.”

“Why are you nervous? My father loves you and wants to congratulate us on our baby.” Chan-Young took her hand after putting his arm around her shoulders. He’d gotten much better at reading Bo-Na’s moods. She had a large gift basket for his father and he tried to tell her it was unnecessary but like most of her feelings, he could not deter her from it.

Bo-Na shook her head and leaned against his side. “I’m worried he doesn’t think I’m good enough for you. Fathers-in-law are like that. They want their sons to have the best women in the world. I…” She wrinkled her nose. “That means virgins.”

“No, it doesn’t. He never said a bad word against you when he brought your father’s proposal to me. It was never a consideration to either of us, Bo-Na. Why are you feeling insecure about this? Not once have I seen you be ashamed of loving so many people in your past.”

She mumbled something unintelligible into his shoulder and so he kissed her forehead. “My emotions are messed up because of the baby,” she said as her driver stopped in front of his father’s house. “I just want him to think I’m a good choice for you despite…the problematic way I came into your life.”

“I think we would’ve fallen for each other anyway.” His own insecurities almost made that a lie. He didn’t think there was a chance that Lee Bo-Na would’ve looked at him as a sexual partner to try out if she hadn’t been required to consider him. He believed in her love for him but…

“Yes,” she agreed so easily and without any sort of hesitation. “Yes, I would’ve seen you and tried to have you right away. I’m glad we did things this way though. It would’ve been harder to build something if you rejected me right away and we didn’t understand why.”

Chan-Young just kissed her cheek and tried to help her out of the car with the large gift basket but Bo-Na wouldn’t have any of it. He did wish that she allowed him to be more of a gentleman for her because he knew she did this out of consideration for him. So he politely asked the driver to take the basket for her and bring it inside with them.

Bo-Na pouted at him so he kissed the corner of her mouth and whispered, “I intend to be overprotective for the next six months.”

Her adorable blush as she pressed close was worth it.

Hyo-Shin scratched at the back of his head as he made some joke he immediately forgot. He stared at Rachel through the glass and wondered how it had happened. “Is this a date?”

“Probably,” she tilted her head and smoothed her fingers over her skirt. “We never really got this, did we? We went from being strangers to lovers immediately. We didn’t get many intimate conversations in the beginning. My favorite was our first real date but that’s all we had.”

“Drama nights.” He loved those evenings they watched television together. He loved how they dissected the plot and characters and made wild predictions.

“I can’t recreate that with you here. Visiting hours are during the day,” she said lightly. “Does it bother you?”

“No. I regretted not getting this kind of time with you before it fell apart. I regret so much.”

“Do you feel like it is impossible to be with me?” Her eyes were wet for a few seconds and he heard the tremble in her voice. “Do you still have too much regret to come home?”

“No.” He felt like he surprised them both. Her smile was relieved. “I can see it now. I can see a future with you. I have no plan for my life after this. I won’t be a prosecutor anymore and I don’t think I can do the job your mother set aside for me in the beginning.”

Rachel put her hand against the glass and he mirrored the gesture. “We can work together to find something that works. I know Hye-Rim and I are excited to get to know you and have you with us. I’ve agreed to an article about us with a women’s magazine. Just some photos with the good parts of our story. I have final say in what goes in it but…we need it for some damage control. Myung-Soo will take the pictures. He’s a genius at that kind of thing.”

He waited for the guilt and dread to overwhelm him but when it didn’t come, he agreed. “Six more weeks.”

“Six more weeks.”

Rachel smiled at the inconsequential news article about a small fire at the maximum security prison. The investigation into the spontaneous combustion was ruled to be due to faulty wiring inside the kitchen and that he’d been the casualty of a grease fire. The victim had no family and was still in the middle of his sentence for rape and murder.

She wondered if Hyo-Shin could feel the relief knowing that the man who assaulted him was forever dead or if he was too focused on other things to know the connection was gone. She read the article to Hye-Rim as a bedtime story even though her daughter was much too young to understand what she’d done.

Only she and Hyo-Shin knew about the assault. Her family wouldn’t figure this out and she could tell no one. Hye-Rim just clapped her hands at the mention of the fire.

“This is how we protect the people we love,” she said. “We punish the wicked to keep people safe. Did you like the new apartment we looked at today?”

Hye-Rim made a cranky face and so Rachel kissed the top of her head. “Me neither. We have to keep looking. Appa can’t live here.”

Hye-Rim babbled at her and Rachel smiled slightly as she closed her eyes. “Your aunt and uncle don’t like him yet. We need our own space to be a family. I promise, your favorite uncle will still visit. He’s much too nosey not to.”

Bo-Na enjoyed watching Chan-Young make dinner with his father. She’d never really considered Yoon Jae-Ho much before her marriage to his son. He seemed very mild mannered to her and since he didn’t creep her out the way a lot of men his age did, she mostly ignored him.

But it was nice to see how much he loved his son. She was curious about the two women in his eyes but had no intention of asking. One was gone but still loved and the other…Maybe she could ask Chan-Young later.

Once the two men were distracted, Bo-Na quietly let her curiosity get the better of her as she picked her way through the home to look at pictures and perhaps to find out if Chan-Young still had his room here. The cozy home was so warm and inviting. She looked at the pictures in the hallway with a smile.

Chan-Young sat between Jae-Ho and a lovely woman. It was almost sad when she disappeared from the pictures around the time Chan-Young was about twelve or so.

“She had a heart condition we didn’t know about,” Jae-Ho said from behind her. Bo-Na turned around and caught love welling in his eyes as he talked about his wife. “Chan-Young knows to get your children tested for it. He says you have a close friend that is a healer.”

Bo-Na nodded and knew Eun-Sang would catch anything if the condition was passed on. “That must have been so very difficult to have her one day and then not.”

Jae-Ho nodded and smiled sadly. “She would like you.”

“Thank you.” Bo-Na looked back at the photograph. “You are lucky you know his family history so well. I wasn’t adopted the usual way. My parents found me abandoned on the beach next to their summer home. I’d been placed in some rocks and was crying. They almost didn’t hear me. I only know of one dangerous trait I carry.”

It called to her parents. She was weak and struggling to survive. No wonder she went overboard to make them love her. Her baby would never need that. She would know the signs and protect people from their overwhelming power. Rachel would protect everyone the way Esther protected everyone from Bo-Na.

“I know my son is very glad to have met you. I can’t imagine your parents feel any differently. Whatever dangerous traits you pass on, I’m certain the two of you will be able to handle it.” It was the pointed sort of kind and she knew Chan-Young had confided her power’s effects to this man. She was glad. Chan-Young needed all the support he could get.

Before she could thank him, Jae-Ho’s phone started ringing. He pulled it out of his pocket and smiled with love when he looked at the screen. “Excuse me. I need to take this.”

“Your girlfriend?” Bo-Na teased and he flushed all the way to his ears.

“My son doesn’t know yet and he’s a little old fashioned. Can we keep that a secret?”

Bo-Na nodded but wondered why he would need to keep it a secret from Chan-Young. Although, she knew exactly what Jae-Ho meant by old fashioned. She made her way back into the kitchen and came up behind him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her cheek against his shoulder.

“You were right. I shouldn’t have worried.”

Eun-sang knelt before the World Tree and showed her what she’d done. The ancient tree’s delight rippled through them both and she smiled at the relief inside her.

Your mother has lost the understanding necessary to care for the Seed Vault. It is not enough to keep us alive and healthy. We must be Growing.

I agree. Eun-Sang put her hand against the tree’s trunk and tried not to be too eager. Will you show me how to make a child with a Death Dealer?

You need to heal yourself first. Stopping your fertility was not a good idea. Don’t humans have preventatives?

Shock rippled through Eun-Sang and she jerked away from the World Tree as she realized what Mama had done to her. The aura she’d been afraid of was proof she’d been pregnant and Mama lied when she removed it. She hadn’t miscarried—she had allowed Mama to abort her child. Eun-Sang was ready to burn her mother alive for what she’d done. It was such a violation of the trust between patient and healer and she couldn’t believe Mama had done this to her.

But Mama tried to use healing to kill Young-Do. She called him a kidnapper, a rapist, all because Eun-Sang was having good sex and loved someone willing to kill.

Wait, the tree cautioned as rage swelled within her. The seedlings must sprout. You are too young to care for us alone and we still need her.

She killed my garden!

Not on purpose.

It doesn’t matter!

Please. We need her. There must be two of you. A mother and a daughter. All you need to do to have your child is perform a healing on both of you while copulating. When you have your daughter, you can do whatever you want.

I can’t not do anything.

She relies on you. Take that away.

It isn’t enough. Not for a violation of this magnitude.

That is why you are too young to care for us alone.

Eun-Sang slumped and started to weep. She gave into the World Tree’s plea and didn’t burn Mama’s heart. She wanted to. She didn’t care about the company but she did care about her obligations to the Seed Vault.

Once she was back at her hotel, Eun-Sang opened her laptop and logged into the company servers. It didn’t take long for her to find the files she wanted, remove the copyright and other protections against theft, and leave them online for activists to find.

She could be patient. She was a gardener, a healer, a lover of things that took time to grow. Until she could get home, she would do this, every night, until Mama paid attention to what she lost.

Eun-Sang was not a garden for Mama to dictate what grew in her womb just because she didn’t like the man doing the planting.

And now that she knew, she could make a baby with Young-Do the moment she arrived home. She would make as many babies as it took until Mama admitted that this wasn’t a fling, that Young-Do was her son-in-law, and that Eun-Sang had the power to make a child with the potential to protect the world from starvation.

She would get to the bottom of Young-Do’s silence towards her. She would have everything she wanted. She didn’t care if Mama’s world burned fast or slow but it would burn.

#pictures

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destieldrabblesdaily · 7 years ago

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i saw a post saying that destiel is problematic.. i know that haters say whatever but it bugged me anyways =\ objectively do u think it is?

Hiii~!

Problematic?Meh… I’m sure excellent posts have been written about this before, probablyby people smarter than me. :’)

But err,problematic? Everything is problematic,everyone is problematic. If you’re dedicated enough, there’s somethingproblematic to be found about whatever you think lies within the realm ofproblematic-ness. Destiel is problematic, your favorite character isproblematic, every show you’ve ever liked is problematic, every ship you’veever shipped surely has problematic elements, I am problematic, you’re problematic, the old lady living in myattic is problematic for sure. :p

But on amore serious note; to a certain degree it’s rather difficult to hold fictional relationships set in afantasy/supernatural verse, to the same standards as fictional relationshipsset in a more realistic verse.

Like, Iunderstand, there’s a lot of heartbreaking stuff going on between Cas and Deanover the seasons. But at first they’re not even friends, they’re for the mostpart unlikely allies who are forced together because they’re working towards acommon goal (stopping the apocalypse/end of the world), not to mention that oneof them is a hunter of everything not-human who barely had a chance to grow upin peace because of exactly that, and one of them is a celestial being who’s(for centuries) only ever known to do what he’s been told without letting hisemotions interfere. You can’t compare that to a ‘regular’ relationship to beginwith. They both have issues, yes, but this is also the reason why they canunderstand each other more easily, and help each other through that, becausethey have common ground there, yet this means that they can grow and learntogether without one of them always being one step behind.

And so theydo become actual friends who respect each other as equals, and from there on allof the violence between them is mostly beyond their control, supernatural elementstaking over.

(One ofthem is brainwashed, one of them takes on a demonic mark, one of them is cursedby a witch, one of them becomes an actualdemon, and so on.)

And granted,sometimes this is due to bad decisions from both sides (Dean taking on the markof Cain without thinking about the consequences, Cas deciding to absorb thosesouls because he thinks it will save the world without him having to bother theWinchesters with the problem) but getting brainwashed and mind controlled andcursed and what not; that’s gonna happen (especially between main characterswho are supposedly close, because what bigger drama?) on a fantasy show withthis few regulars.

But whenconsidering Destiel, -because regardless, even keeping in mind the supernaturalelement, I do have things that I think go too far, and that I personally stayaway from when shipping two characters (when between said characters there arecases of: rape/dub-con, pedophilia, incest, racism, to name a few), most of thedrama between them is literally beyond their control.

I mean, thesame goes for Sam and Dean; if you happened to hear that the guy next doorchased after his little brother with an axe last week in order to try and murder him, you’d stay like ten zip codes away from this dude, and you’d be utterlydisgusted, thinking he’d never be worthy of forgiveness and should stay awayfrom his family forever.

But yeah, differentstory when the guy was actually turned into a demon tho (like poor Dean). Orpossessed by a demonic mark. Or lost his soul (like poor Sam), or put under anattack dog spell, or brainwashed by Heaven, or possessed by Satan (like poor Cas). Factors that we don’t have to consider in the real world, obviously.

However ifwe’re looking at the moments when Dean and Cas are both themselves (and thoseare rare, jeeeez), we see them opening up to each other in a way they rarelyever do to others. We see them communicate to the best of their ability (whichis a challenge for both of them, period), and we see them openly showingaffection in a way they often struggle to do with others.

I’m thefirst to admit that they’re both emotionally constipated though (both fordifferent reasons), I am. But this is also why they understand each other so well,and they’re sort of at this same point on this journey during which they learnto communicate and open up to another being, learning that it’s okay to eitherask for help or take care of someone else.

If you’dtake away all of the supernatural elements, their relationship would be onethat needs a little more (and better) communication for sure (but they’re bothlearning still). But when it comes to relationships on any shows set in afantasy/supernatural verse, I’d say that this one has plenty of struggles, butat the core it’s them learning and growing together, because I do believethey’ve changed each other for the better despite it all.

Anyway, Ihope this made you feel a little better, and I hope you’ll have a lovely week!

#replies for ts #destiel #the old lady living in my attic says hi?#I joke I joke #Anonymous

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astridstorm · 6 years ago

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Our Story, Too. Jephthah’s Vow Then and Now.

Jephthah’s Daughter, by William Blake

Those of you who were here last Sunday know that, today, I have the honor of preaching a Scripture passage chosen by one of you. At our last Mardi Gras party, we auctioned off a Sunday sermon on any passage from the Bible, no matter how difficult, scandalous, or disturbing, and the one I’m about to preach on today is all of those.

The winner of the auction was Phillip Martin, up here in the choir. (Phillip, could you stand up for a moment so we know whom to thank?) Phillip came to me last summer after narrowing his selections down to his final choice. The runner up was Paul’s instructions in the New Testament that women should not speak in church, which might have made this a very brief and easy sermon.

But here’s the one he chose, and maybe once you hear it you’ll understand why I’ve put this off for so long. It’s about a man named Jephthah and his young daughter, and it comes from the Old Testament book of Judges. Jephthah was a warrior and he was asked by the people of Israel to lead them in battle against their enemy, the Ammonites. The story is much longer, but I’ll start right where Jephthah is traveling toward and then reaches the enemy territory, the battlefield.

“Then the spirit of the Lord came upon Jephthah, and he passed through Gilead and Manasseh. He passed on to Mizpah of Gilead, and from Mizpah of Gilead he passed on to the Ammonites. And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord, and said, ‘If you will give the Ammonites into my hand, then whoever comes out of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return victorious from the Ammonites, shall be the Lord’s, to be offered up by me as a burnt-offering.’ So Jephthah crossed over to the Ammonites to fight against them; and the Lord gave them into his hand. He inflicted a massive defeat on them from Aroer to the neighborhood of Minnith, twenty towns, and as far as Abel-keramim. So the Ammonites were subdued before the people of Israel.

Then Jephthah came to his home at Mizpah; and there was his daughter coming out to meet him with timbrels and with dancing. She was his only child; he had no son or daughter except her. When he saw her, he tore his clothes, and said, ‘Alas, my daughter! You have brought me very low; you have become the cause of great trouble to me. For I have opened my mouth to the Lord, and I cannot take back my vow.’ She said to him, ‘My father, if you have opened your mouth to the Lord, do to me according to what has gone out of your mouth, now that the Lord has given you vengeance against your enemies, the Ammonites.’ And she said to her father, ‘Let this thing be done for me: Grant me two months, so that I may go and wander on the mountains, and bewail my virginity, my companions and I.’ ‘Go,’ he said and sent her away for two months. So she departed, she and her companions, and bewailed her virginity on the mountains. At the end of two months, she returned to her father, who did with her according to the vow he had made. She had never [been] with a man. So there arose an Israelite custom that for four days every year the daughters of Israel would go out to lament the daughter of Jephthah the Gileadite.” The Word of the Lord.

One thought I had when I read this next to today’s regularly assigned Scripture readings was, How can this story be part of the same Bible as that beautiful section of Paul’s letter to the Corinthians we read earlier? Love is patient, love is kind, it does not boast, or envy, or revel in wrongdoing.

We could simply write this story off as an Old Testament thing. And this is what we do. We hear something like this from the Bible (albeit rarely) and we say Ah, that’s the Old Testament. That’s really not our God. You may not realize this but that’s a Christian heresy called Marcionism. Marcion was a scholar in the early Church who thought the New Testament replaced the Old Testament and that there was no need to keep it as part of our tradition moving forward. And isn’t that what most usually people think, on some level? It may be one of the heresies held by most Christians, unknowingly.

But according to official Christian doctrine, you can’t just say That isn’t our Scripture or our God. It fails to recognize, first, that there are many beautiful parts of the Old Testament, just as there are many ugly parts of the New. It isn’t all about love for us, or vengeance for them. To say so is basically to write off an entire religion’s God and its Holy Book, and I know we would never intend to do that.

Distancing ourselves from these stories also fails to acknowledge our complete dependence on the Jewish Scriptures and tradition. Without them our faith wouldn’t even exist. The Old Testament is as foundational to who we are as the New Testament. They are inseparably connected. But we also never want to distance ourselves from the humanity of the Old Testament, to say, well -- those are their problems. This is not only part of our inheritance as Christians; it’s part of our inheritance (and heritage) as human beings. Everything that happened in the past is happening still. Or could happen still. And more likely will if we say “We’re past that.” Or, “That has nothing to do with us.”

Jephthah was one of the judges of Israel. The Book of Judges is the seventh book in the Old Testament. It tells of a period before the monarchy of Israel--King David, King Solomon. Right before there was a monarchy, Israel was a confederation of tribes loosely held together by whoever happened to be the strongest military leader of the time, called a judge (really more a warrior than a judge in our modern sense). Samson is the judge we know the best (of Samson and Delilah). There are twelve altogether in the Book of Judges.

Jephthah was another. His tribe was Gilead. The people of Gilead lived along the Jordan River, in what is today the Kingdom of Jordan. Gilead the name is associated with peace and happiness. There’s an old hymn you may know, There is a Balm in Gilead. The name itself means “happiness forever.” It is beautiful and was (at least then) a fairly fertile region.

Jephthah, however (and this all comes right before the part I read out loud) had no father, and his mother was a prostitute. He was rejected by his people, sent away from Gilead, only to be called back later because he had a reputation as a good fighter and they needed that to defeat their enemy. So, when he comes in useful, then and only then do they recognize his worth.

A lot is at stake for Jephthah. If he wins this war against the enemy, the Ammonites, he is back in the tribe, forgiven for having no parents, vindicated, accepted on his merits. Part of what makes the story so wrenching is that you sympathize with this man, this orphan outcast. You want to see him prove himself and be welcomed into his tribe. And it has such a promising start. When the war begins, the first thing the narrator tells us is that the Spirit of the Lord was upon Jephthah. In Old Testament battles, whenever the Spirit of the Lord is said to be upon someone, you know it’s going to go their way. So everything is looking up for Jephthah and for the reader rooting for him. And then... he makes this vow. As far as we can tell, this totally reckless, impulsive and unnecessary vow. “If you will give the Ammonites into my hand, then whoever comes out of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return victorious from the Ammonites, shall be the Lord’s, to be offered up by me as a burnt-offering.”

St Augustine in the fifth century said that Jephthah expected the first person to greet him to be his wife, whom he intended to kill. Augustine was not known for liking women. Even still, it’s hard to imagine Jephthah thinking this vow was a good idea. Gambling that something inconsequential, not his wife or his daughter, would greet him at his homecoming. And we’re made to think, He felt already the power of the Lord on him. Why do this unnecessary thing?

This story raises so many questions, and practically no answers. Why did Jephthah keep his vow? And why did he make it in the first place? Was there no way to annul a vow that forces you to commit a grave sin? (Later Jewish law would say yes, you should annul it.) Why does his daughter go along with it? Why doesn’t she resist? Why doesn’t she go to the mountains and run away, rather than return to be killed? Where is the mother in this story? And what on earth is it doing in the Bible, anyway?

This isn’t the only problematic story in the book of Judges. Here’s an excerpt from a short introduction to Judges that we read in our Bible study class last Wednesday:

“Sex, violence, rape and massacre, brutality and deceit do not seem to be congenial materials for use in developing a story of salvation. Given the Bible’s subject matter--God and salvation, living well and loving deeply--we quite naturally expect to find in its pages leaders for us who are good, noble, honorable men and women showing us the way. So it is always something of a shock to enter the pages of the book of Judges and find ourselves immersed in nearly unrelieved mayhem.”

There is a theory that this book was written by a woman, about 2600 years ago, perhaps a woman who wanted to show just how bad men could be at leading! I like that theory; it’s probably not true, though Judges does name and call out violence and particularly violence against women above any other book in the Bible. And the first thing we do to repair a problem (whoever wrote this, man or woman, knew) is to acknowledge it, name it out loud, and lament. Because if we forget and fail to do these things when we look at our past, then we’ll be right back there again.

When you think about it, we never really moved on from that ancient Israelite pyre 3000 years ago on which Jephthah’s daughter was slain. Our leaders today are still often blinded by self-regard. And women are sacrificed every day in our world. Sacrificed to domestic violence. The United Nations recently reported that 50,000 women last year were killed by a domestic partner or family member, the home being the likeliest place for a woman to die. That makes the Jephthah story very real, doesn’t it? Women are sacrificed in our world to human trafficking -- girls, thousands of them every year. It was just reported that trafficking of girls is the highest its been in 13 years. Women are the sacrifices of war. I can’t bear to read about violence against women in the the many wars around the world, but I know that if I don’t, the problem isn’t going to budge. If I do make myself aware, I’ve taken at least the first step toward repairing it. So, too, when we read this passage and this horrible story of this poor, innocent girl and her father, himself a victim of cruelty by his peers.

The way this story ends gives me hope. After their friend was killed, the girls of Gilead went up to the hills every year for four days to remember her. To keep her memory alive and to do their part to keep this from ever happening again. Acknowledge it, name it out loud, lament, repair, and never repeat. That’s why we must read these stories and own them as our own.

So Phillip, I’m not mad at you for picking this passage. None of us wants to hear it, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t need to be heard. Amen.

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obsessivedilettante · 8 years ago

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Somehow love has been so idealized as positive and healthy form of bond, that the reality which is that lot of romantic relationships are dysfunctional on one level or another is denied. In the case of Kwon Joo and Tae Gu, the romance is impossible: she will never accept him but the attraction is real on his side (the writer pushed it since ep11) and it humanizes him a little bit. So playing with this fantasy makes sense, is not harmful and wouldn't be a first in fiction...

The issue I have is that people assume because there is attraction, it must mean romantic (or sexual). Tae-gu is definitely fascinated by Kwon-joo, but it’s because he views her as an elusive prey. For someone who seems to have had a fairly easy life when it comes to killing people (I mean, when you come right down to it, his father literally buys “unwanted” people for him hunt and kill, just as though they were toys), here is one that is intelligent and fights back. In fact, I think a large part of his giddy glee when he saw her wall of evidence and red string is the discovery that she has also been hunting him. She is no normal prey.

[More after the jump! My apologies to mobile users, and if you’re coming to this on my tumblr page and not your dash, Anon, you’ll probably need to click the post to get the rest of the answer since this theme doesn’t always put a “more” link when I use it on an ask.]

But she is still just that to him – prey. I can’t agree that his attraction to her “humanizes” him because the show has taken great pains to convince us that he’s not really human. He’s been repeatedly called a monster and the devil (and, to be honest, it’s easy to believe he is just that when he has taken such joy in killing anyone that has possibly hurt him or stood in his way).

To him, Kwon-joo is not a person. She is something to be toyed with, to be teased and tormented until he finally sees fit to give the final blow.

I actually think it’s pretty interesting that the show hasn’t placed him in any romantic or sexual light*. Even though he’s a young and handsome chaebol (at least, to those who don’t know about his murderous tendencies), he’s not been shown partying around with a gaggle of women, or even just one woman. When Jin-hyuk looked into his past, there was no record of a scandal, and I presume that includes scandals with women (or men – hey, I’m not gonna judge, but I know Dramaland and its heteronormative default). I very much doubt he often brings dates home, since he seems more interested in bringing dead bodies home instead.

That’s not to say Tae-gu has no sexual desire, but it’s notable that his idea of power and dominance is through straight-up brutality and not through sex. He’s killed women before, but from what we’ve seen, hasn’t tried to rape them. Instead, he gets his jollies from the hunt and the sensation of crushing their skulls.

Which, again, is why I give a serious, serious side-eye to those who want to ship him with Kwon-joo. She is an amazing woman who’s worked hard to get where she is, even when no one else believed her. She’s careful and smart as she figures out not only how to save those under the Golden Time (okay, maybe not that careful and smart because c’mon stop going to creepy empty hallways without back-up!), but also in accumulating information that gradually lead her to discover that Tae-gu is the killer she’s been searching for all these years. To her, Tae-gu is the monster that we all know he is. He killed her father, he’s killed so many others – he’s ruthless and shameless. He’s evil and he must be brought to justice.

So for someone to go “eeeee, I ship it!” just because both characters have an obsessive determination to hunt the other feels like it trivializes just how much Tae-gu has hurt and damaged her life. Not just that he killed her father, but thanks to the cover-up by his father and Sang-tae, he made her lose her job and respect within the community. She was treated as a laughingstock and something to be scorned. Yes, she is strong and resilient, but he ruined her life. And he plans to ruin it even more, just for kicks. He knew that his visit to her apartment would scare her, and yet he couldn’t hide his laughter. That is what makes him happy – making her fear for her life.

While I don’t know how the final two episodes will play out, at this point in the show, there’s really no way that Tae-gu can be redeemed. There’s no “oh my mother abandoned me when I was a baby boo-hoo” story that can possibly excuse his murderous behavior. At this point, the only truly “honorable” thing he could do is either confess to his crimes and spend a lifetime in prison, or fall on his sword (kettlebell?) and kill himself.

Perhaps if this writer spent more time developing the characters, there could be some hope. But as it stands right now, he has shown himself to be nothing but pure evil. There is no goodness in him. There is no saving him.

It is true, though, that relationships are inherently messy and so many of them are filled with bad decisions. Maybe I would actually like rom-coms more if they didn’t try to convince me that two diametrically opposed people would suddenly fall in love and live happily ever after, just because the writers said so. Maybe I would suffer less from second-lead syndrome if the male leads weren’t persistently written in such a way that I would instinctively label them as abusive (either emotionally or psychologically, and even sometimes physically), and wish the woman would run the hell away and never look back.

Then again, I think “love conquers all” is utter bullshit, especially with romance. I will, however, happily accept more stories of love that is familial and platonic, because, to me, those are the most endearing and sustaining. That’s why I give only a vague side-eye to those who want to ship Kwon-joo with Jin-hyuk. Part of me understands it – they’re the leads, they’re thrown together, they have to learn to trust and rely on each other. It makes sense, since most dramas would probably go there anyway. But I love that there’s been no hint of romance between them, simply because there aren’t enough platonic male-female friendships represented in media, especially in mutual work environments (where platonic friendship actually makes the most sense, since dating in the workplace is incredibly messy and often ends in disaster, although you wouldn’t know it by most of Dramaland’s offerings).

So I’m not saying “kill it with fire” to a Kwon-joo/Jin-hyuk ship because I can see how these two co-workers, thrown together in a multitude of intense situations as they pursue the same goal, could be appealing to someone. Jin-hyuk has learned to respect Kwon-joo, and is not out to sabotage her. He actually supports her and listens to her.

I am saying “kill it with fire” to a Kwon-joo/Tae-gu ship because it pits her with someone who doesn’t see her as human and only sees her as a thing to amuse him until he decides she’s no longer worth his time. It diminishes who she is as a woman or even simply as a person. He is a monster, and I’m repulsed by the unspoken implication that she could “save” him because of the attraction (or supposed “love”) he has for her. Not that’s what everyone thinks when they consider this so-called ship, but it is the standard representation when we see this kind of dynamic in fiction – the “bad boy” that the woman will save through the power of her sparkly “I’m not like the other girls” vagina. (Again, Tae-gu is not some moody, broody chaebol/cursed vampire/hurt momma’s boy. He is an unrepentant psychopath who gets joy out of tormenting the most challenging prey he’s yet encountered.)

I get it, though. I know that it’s somehow so easy to default to crackling chemistry and want to ship all the things, no matter what, no matter how terrible they are. Some of the best (worst?) ships come from this.** The attraction is there, even if it is only sadistically one-sided. And even though I don’t read fanfiction, I know there are enough of the “oh hell no” ships out there that people are gonna ship what they’re gonna ship, no matter the logistics or actual characterizations. Maybe someone’s cooking up a theory that says Tae-gu will eventually realize the error of his ways and spend the rest of his life in prison pining for the one woman who got away. Or maybe someone’s embracing the insanity and is like “this shit is fucked up but damn the sex is hawt.”

In the end, I guess I’m just too fond of Kwon-joo as a character and a woman, and everything she represents in terms of her intelligence and desire to help people even as she longs for justice in her own life, to see her linked romantically to a murdering psychopath – no matter how gorgeous his cheekbones are.

*of course, as we all well know, Kim Jae Wook is hella sexy and I’m not gonna deny I’d probably do some terrible things for a few minutes in heaven with him, but that’s the actor, not the character.

**for example, even though I know, instinctively, that these two are terrible for each other and will forever end in tears, you can tear the LoVe*** from my cold dead hands. They are Epic and will always be Epic.

***Logan/Veronica from Veronica Mars, who I immediately started shipping**** from the first “Annoy, tiny blonde one, annoy like the wind” and still get a little tingly from that first kiss as the camera cranes outward and “Momentary Thing” plays.

****and I suppose someone could argue that “well you ship [problematic thing] so stop being a cry-baby about other people shipping [problematic thing], and besides, it’s just fiction*****, so who cares what other people do with fictional characters?” To which I say “dude this is tumblr I will overthink whatever the hell I want and also women should not be shipped with brutal psychopaths who only see them as a means for their sadistic pleasure, especially when those psychopaths have totally and unrepentantly ruined those women’s lives and will kill them after they’ve had their fun.”******

*****yeah, it’s just fiction, but stories matter and if I can smash one patriarchal belief that a woman can save a broken and screwed up guy just because he lurves her then I think I will have fulfilled a purpose that I didn’t know I had but I will gladly accept.

******is2fg no one tell me there’s a fanfic out there where Tae-gu is revealed to be a necrophiliac bc there’s not enough brain bleach out there to unsee that image even though it would probably make total sense, dammit.

#so many footnotes #the issue of an idealized and faulty view of romance in fiction is pretty much a whole 'nother essay #probably a worthwhile essay too #also did i mention that tae-gu is a psychopath?#because he is #Anonymous #ask

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asexual-fandom-queen · 8 years ago

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"There's a Menace In My Bed; Can You See His Silhouette" #1, 5, & 7?

Ah yes, my favourite fic (or piece of writing I’ve ever done, really)!

1. What inspired you to write the fic this way?

The fact that I love dub-con/sex pollen/fuck-or-die as a trope but people CONSISTENTLY FUCK IT UP!!!! Like, why is it so hard for some people to understand that consent under duress/while impaired isn’t consent and shouldn’t be written like this flowery ‘ooh tra la la everything is sunshine and roses and happy endings because I was in love with you all along and wanted to have sex with you anyway’??? Fuck that, actually. All it does is normalize, trivialize, and make excuses for rape and perpetuate rape culture.

This is a trope for angst and trauma and character study, not swelling music and a Big Damn Kiss. This is Red Kryptonite and Rainbow Raider stuff. This is ‘I was made to do this thing I didn’t want. My body was violated. My body hurt someone else’s body. Someone I care for and never wanted to hurt. How do I even begin to deal with that?’

Sex pollen as a trope is only problematic when you ignore that, when you deny it its truth. It’s allowed to be raw and uncomfortable and suffocating. It’s supposed to be. If it’s not YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG! This is about the only thing I’ll get really militant about when it comes to policing what and how someone chooses to write. Because anything that ignores the repercussions of what is in no uncertain terms a violent sexual assault dressed up in bells and whistles isn’t being authentic to the human experience at its most basic and that is really about the only true writing sin there is.

5. What part was hardest to write?

Menace wasn’t hard to write at all. Emotionally draining, yes, but the actual ‘sit down and write the words out’ part came very easy. I think the whole thing took me a day, two tops, to bang out after a few weeks of just sitting on the idea and planning it out in my head/writing a quick, succinct outline. I knew what I wanted to say, how I wanted to say it, and – as I’m sure you noticed above – a lot of passion for the subject. In a lot of ways, I didn’t approach it as a fic, I approached it as a rant, a statement. That this is messy, that it should be messy, that people who’ve experienced sexual violence deserve more than to have the issue hand-waved for the sake of The Feels™ and reader comfort. I wrote something that was purposefully uncomfortable and heartbreaking and maybe a bit hopeful that there could be love and healing and forgiveness through it all, because that’s what this narrative deserves.

The only parts that were truly hard to write were the parts that would do the ‘moral of the story’ so to speak the most justice. Lines like “Len’s a thief by trade, but the one thing he’s never been tempted to steal is another person’s body. There’s something so vile, so reprehensible, about the notion, that a person could ever be conflated with an object in such a way, that it makes his stomach turn.” or “He wants to feel like this forever, and it makes his heart shatter in his chest as he realizes he won’t. Because this isn’t real. None of it is real. Barry doesn’t want this. It isn’t some sort of magical wish fulfillment for the younger man. It’s rape.” and basically just the whole way I played the discussion they share at the end. Anything I wanted to make 100% sure I was wording right for maximum clarity and emotional impact.

7. Where did the title come from?

Even before writing Menace, I always thought Halsey’s Trouble to be one of the best angsty, dysfunctional Coldflash songs. Lyrics like “you look so cool when you’re reading me” “I bet you kiss your knuckles right before they touch my cheek” “I wouldn’t leave you if you let me” and “when you met me, you told me you were gonna get me” are perfect examples of why I think this fits so well. So while part of it is that I tend to name my fics after songs anyway, part of it is that that’s just the perfect song, especially for a sex pollen fic, when one of the lines is literally “there’s a menace in my bed; can you see his silhouette.”

send me a fic title and a number from this post

(also feel free, if you haven’t already, to check out the fic in question here)

#ask answered #my writing

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