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falciesystemessays · 4 months ago

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various thoughts on the sinnoh pokemon games

I have a lot of respect for any gamedev who can put out an actual game, and I had a surprising amount of fun with Shining Pearl… But it's clear that these games simply lack ambition. ILCA did not do a hack job, they put in the work to realize the game's vision. But the vision just wasn't very good, seemingly amounting to "We need to put a Sinnoh remake out there, just make the damn game." Very few of the creative decisions feel like they were made out of more than convenience or necessity. I appreciate that there's a cool clothes shop instead of a boring game corner, but the game corner was only removed to dodge an 18+ rating in Europe. It's cool that they added Ramanas Park, a place where you can catch all the legendaries, but like, something had to replace Pal Park! It's cool that you get follower Pokémon once you enter Amity Square, but--

Actually, hold on, quick tangent about Amity Square because I know my target audience. Did you ever think it was a bit weird that Amity Square said it only lets in "Cute Pokémon," but in a bestiary full of adorable creatures, you can only bring like 10? Well, I cracked the code on that! It's because, in Diamond and Pearl, those are the only non-legendary Pokémon that had overworld sprites! That's why Psyduck and Drifloon are allowed! In the remakes, most of the same Pokémon are still the only ones available in Amity Square, but now all of the Pokémon can be followers outside of there. This is likely because they already had models on-hand for battle animations many of which could be taken from Let's Go, so then it was just about animating walking? …Anyway.

A lot of the backlash towards Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl come from them being too faithful to the original Diamond and Pearl. This is a complaint I'm sympathetic to, and I'll talk more about the remakes later, but many went on to say that if they'd just copied Platinum, they would be much better experiences. This is untrue, and I'll tell you why: Platinum isn't that much better. Its changes and additions are substantial in aggregate, but they don't dramatically elevate Pokémon Platinum into a radiant gem. It feels more like the director's cut of Sinnoh, truer to the core vision and showing the game at its best. But it's still just… fine. The idea that just remaking Platinum would have saved the Sinnoh remakes is pure nostalgia.

I have been replaying Pokemon Platinum, doing a 0-Exp run just to do something different, and after all these years I still see it as fine. It's okay. It doesn't excite me in the same way that most of the odd-numbered generations do, and the parts I do like about it are easy to miss. It's fun to explore, to take your time with things, to enjoy all of the optional stuff, but the main quest simply isn't compelling to me no matter how many times I try.

Really, the best parts of Generation IV aren't anything that happens in the games, but what they contributed to Pokémon more broadly. Stuff like the physical/special split and new evolutions are obvious, but did you know there was an absolute swell of items introduced in Gen 4? This gen gave us the Focus Sash! The Choice Scarf! A bunch of items that seem to have negative effects but synergize with other mechanics in cool ways! The problem is that you only get most of these after beating the game, so you have to be really dedicated to even access these cool things. And that's honestly my take on the Sinnoh region in general: You have to put in work to see the parts of it that make it special.

Many of the standout decisions of the Sinnoh remakes feel like they were made because either it was something they could do fairly cheaply, or because something had to replace a thing that was dropped from the DS originals. There aren't many signs of creative inertia, of the developers being compelled to go out of their way to do something special. They do exist, particularly in the postgame, like. There are very few enemy teams in a Pokémon single-player campaign that I can call "competitively built," but each rematch in the remakes is doing something cool, and Cynthia's is genuinely a good balance team. They even use actual held items! But crucially, this is the kind of thing that ILCA could make with no new assets, just clever use of what they already had. This isn't something I hold against them, asset reuse is laudable when done well, but it's telling, isn't it?

I should point out that the remakes broadly feel better to play than the DS originals. Over a decade of design shifts have meant that some Pokémon have lost their identities, but plenty more have a much more rewarding and clear progression path, just because they've gotten more moves over the course of four generations. I broadly had a better time playing Shining Pearl than I did playing Platinum, just because of all of the quality of life changes that come with being a Gen 8 game. There are real benefits to just making "Diamond and Pearl, but Gen 8," and those were changes I appreciated. It made it a solid 7 for me, which is more than I'd give a lot of Pokémon games. It was a nice game for me to spend a month on while I was going through some shit. I am fine with a game being nothing more than that.

#i had a good time to be clear #i'm just the kind of person who thinks extremely hard about this stuff

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fancyfade · 3 years ago

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Ok like time for a post that has a target audience of 2* but I feel like if post war games they wanted to emphasize Tim’s similarity to batman, it should NOT have been “he’s edgy now” or whatever. The way they try to make this comparison in canon is via tim threatening to permanently cripple people (link) and just being written as like. the most intimidating thing around with no buildup (link). This was dumb and unnecessary IMO.

because (this will get rambly) Tim already has another similarity to Batman IMO.

Which is using “the rules” as a way to interact with people when superheroing. This isn’t to say he always FOLLOWS the rules he sets for himself, or he is consistent about everything, but he does come at it through that perspective “These are the rules that Bruce set, I have to follow the rules”. A lot of the inconsistency comes from Bruce’s own inconsistency.

First of all, I’ve seen “Tim doesn’t do what Bruce says, he made himself Robin against bruce’s wishes”, but I think we need to understand that he pretty much did have permission. He doesn't have BRUCE’s permission, but Alfred encourages him (and implies that dick was as well -- halfway through this post we show the efforst the writers go through to make it clear tim has other people’s approval before putting on the suit (link)), and Tim tries as much as he can to get Dick to go back to being Robin first. Then, after he is in training for Robin, he is extremely apologetic about breaking the rules to save Bruce’s life (link) and is like “I understand if you fire me”, or even just in his early days not being good enough and failing at something (link) (oddly enough, despite Tim literally never having been at risk of being fired by Bruce, he is portrayed as extremely worried about it link1 - even after being established as robin for like over 70 issues).

It should be noted I feel like a lot of his worry of being fired comes from insecurity. To add to this, I’m just copy pasting what @mollyhats sent me on the analysis of the rules, which I think ties into his insecurities and explains part of the extreme anxiety about being fired by Bruce despite that never being portrayed as a possibility in canon

I think part of “the rules” is that Tim trusts Bruce’s judgement above his own. Even when he goes against Bruce, he does it with the expectation he will lose Bruce’s respect. It applies to himself, and I think once he cracked the incredibly high expectation that had to mean something. He did things “the right way,” and like many sheltered rich white boys, didn’t consider that the “right way” is inaccessible to others. (He also can’t consider it because that means Bruce could be wrong about things, which destabilizes a lot of his reasoning and also. Means he might not be deserving of Robin either)

(quote block is mollyhats, now we’re back to me)

OK anyway so that got off the actual proof that he follows the rules, which I meant to include but anyway. Tim is extremely Pro bruce’s rules. We know he is “We do not kill - ever”, he also is anti leaving people to die. An instance we see this is final night crossover, where he and steph are attacked by someone trying to kill them during final night (the sun is gone, earth is slowly transforming into a frozen wasteland) when stephanie argues they should let the guy who tried to kill them freeze, because she doesn’t want to risk her life saving someone who was trying to kill her, tim says "That's not the way it works -- that doesn't make letting him die the right thing to do -- what batman and I do isn't all adventure and cheap thrills. there's a commitment and it's never an easy one - so we just give up? Is it too hard for you? It's not fun anymore? so what if there's not another tomorrow? I'm not going to do something to make me regret waht I did today"

it should be noted -- I am in tim’s corner here, I think that he’s right to save the guy. but. his logic for why they need to save him is entirely tied up into personal code of conduct (won’t do something i’ll regret) and that they have to follow the rules -- it’s not hte way it works, this is a commitment batman and I do’.

Then AFTER he is officially set up to be trained, he the way he interacts with his friends is also based on the rules. He can’t tell them his secret identity, so he doesn’t. The young justice team only finds out about him because of alternate universe shenanigans. The idea is that his commitment to bruce outweighs whether he personally wants his friends to know who he is or not, even if it creates tension with them.

anyway so the REASON for all of these strict rules... First of all, there is how insecure he is in his position as we’ve mentioned earler Tim seems to me as a judgment first, compassion second character. And before anyone gets super defensive, I’m not saying that makes him a bad character or even a bad person. I think LOTS of people are judgment first, compassion second.

In terms of instances of canonical judgmentalness.. there is no one single writer this is confined to. His entire relationship with Steph in Dixon’s run starts out based on him feeling like both he has a responsibility to her (despite them being peers), he has the authority to tell her to stop (link), and he should exercise that authority (I think this works well in with what mollyhats pointed out earlier, which is that Tim is EXTREMELY into batman’s rules, and if batman says steph can’t be spoiler... well obviously she can’t right? Batman knows best. His judgment of steph is compounded by the judgment other members of the batfam express. Cass loves Steph but views her as not as good, not as competent, Bruce does pretty much all the ‘steph’s not good enough’ rules that Tim does). Tim is also extremely condescending to Steph (link) multiple instances that’s just one.

Steph is also not the only person he is shown to be judgmental to first. we have his internal monologue about cass (link), and him being very creeped out by her, he joins much of DC (or he is used as a writers mouthpiece) to express taht jason was reckless (link), under later writers we have him immediately sizing up the attractiveness of one woman (link) letting the audience know she was “not” in terms of “hot or not”, then when we get to him with his peers we see him judging them as losers based on their appearances (link) and expressing disbelief that anyone could fail a test (link) -- it should be noted in those last two examples, Tim was aware of his tendency to leap to judgment and like mentally “corrected” himself, as this was treated as a flaw under this writer. He also reacts uncompassionately to Damian when he just arrives (even pre damian trying to kill him). Bruce says “if he is my son -- even if he's not -- he deserves some love and my respect. Tim, drawn with an angry expression, says "so let him earn it, like everybody else." (batman 657). (Some earlier context for the interaction: tim initially reacts friendly to Damian but is immediately put off when Damian doesn’t accept his hand, he says something patronizing and Damian threatens him)

and in some cases tim is allowed to grow from this! I did mention that the one writer was trying to treat his instinct to judge as a flaw, he later apologized to cass for his initial reaction towards her in her batgirl run. and allowing him to grow from it is just much more interesting than pretending it never happened and DEFINITELY more interesting than pretending his judgments were always right

Secondly: the WAY that tim approaches his superheroing, ESPECIALLY at the beginning, is impersonal and through more of an obligation to gotham and to bruce (with HEAVY emphasis on bruce). (link1, link2). Even later on, during No Man’s Land, we see some of this (link) where his way or talking about Gotham and the human misery that is there in post NML is impersonal, and framed as a duty he wonders if can actually be done, and the people to whom he attributes agency are bruce and gordon. The way he interacts with the stranded criminal in the snow in final night that I mentioned earlier is also extremely compassionate in terms of action, but in terms of motive is framed as a duty and the inherent value of human life does not have anything to do with it. this is not to say that he dOESNT value human life, it is just pointing out that in his internal logic and explanation for why they should save someone, it did not factor into his argument which I think is a good case for compasison second

So I feel like Tim’s strict adherence to rules could have been paralleled to Bruce’s and that’s a way the writers could have made a comparison, if they wanted to, without edginess, trying to act like he's super cool and intimating now, direction that they took

EDIT : Ok and i forgot here’s a good post talking about bruce’s lines and rules and why he has them (link)

*me and mollyhats

#long post #tim drake #character meta #dc comics #robin

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inventors-fair · 2 years ago

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Preferential Treatment: Partial Decree Commentary

Back again for the commentary! This week was such a blast, honestly. You all made killer designs, and while this is certainly not a contest I’ll run very often, it did give me lots of new ideas for other contests, so stay tuned. It is interesting that people heavily focused on the copying aspects, when I honestly wouldn’t even say that’s my absolute favorite part of magic. I’m curious to hear thought processes behind these designs, so if anyone wants to share how they came up with their idea, I would love to hear about it. Anyways, here’s Wonderwall.

The Tattered Timepiece by @dabudder

At first glance, this is an incredibly cool card. I love the idea of repeatedly taking extra turns but losing a bit of each one, essentially leaving you with nothing by the end of it. You have to use it very carefully, but the concept is cool. However... it runs into some logistical issues. First off, skipping your end phase also involves skipping your cleanup, which is not something black-border magic ever wants to get into, since “Until end of turn” effects would stick around, and damage wouldn’t be removed. In addition, There are cards that skip either untap, upkeep, or draw steps, but not all of them all at once. I think this design would be better serviced by looking at existing “skip step or phase” cards like Fatespinner, and picking some appropriate choices from among those. However, the logistics issues don’t detract from the fact that this is still as super cool card.

Absolute Decree by @nicolbolas96

One of our few non-blue cards this week (I was going to ask if I’m that easy to figure out, but I guess it is literally in my username). I do like flexibility with removal, and I do like political maneuvering, and this has a good amount of both of those! However, I just can’t see any situation in which your opponent ever lets you copy the spell. I understand that the intention was probably “Hey, if you let me copy it, I’ll blow up this other thing controlled by player 3”, but... I’m not sure there would be many people likely to agree with that when the original copy is pointing at one of their permanents. I’m not necessarily sure what the fix is, but this card relies on blowing up someone’s key piece, and then asking them nicely for a favor, which doesn’t seem like it will go the way you want it to 90% of the time.

Nadan, Dean of Imitation by @yd12k

Okay, so between the name, the art, and the flavor text, I’m a little confused. Is this supposed to be a different iteration of Naban, but was a typo? Is it Naban’s evil twin? A parody? I definitely appreciate the pandering to the judge, but I’m confused about who exactly this is supposed to represent. The ability is one that I’m honestly surprised we haven’t seen before, though it feels more at home on a mid-cost enchantment than a 2-mana legendary creature. There could still be lots of fun things to do with it, but I think the potential card advantage is way too much for this to be coming out of the command zone on turn two. However, bonus brownie points for playing to the audience.

Unseelie Meddling by @hiygamer

There’s a reason I have Mystic Reflection listed as my favorite blue card, and this plays in a lot of the same space. I do like the attempt to broaden it from just creatures, but as others have stated, this gets into some weirdness with auras that can make this “destroy target nonland permanent” in certain scenarios, which... yeah, that unfortunately needs some black to justify. Equally unfortunately, the workaround is clunky, so at least you stuck to your guns. Beyond that issue, I like this card, though I feel like 3 mana might be too expensive for something that doesn’t give you any nice ETB triggers, and only lasts for the turn. I think it could have either been cheaper or more permanent, though with the latter there’s obviously memory issues. Also, WOW that’s some dark art direction. I love it, reminds me of some of the older magic art.

Hysteric Laughter by @col-seaker-of-the-memiest-legion

It is interesting that we got so much Cipher this week, considering... I don’t actually care for it that much. Yes, I like instants and sorceries, and I love copying them, but Cipher always felt like there were too many moving parts for my liking. This one is pretty good at addressing some of my issues with it- it’s simple, effective, and easy to tack on to any creature without making them a huge magnet for removal. However, over time, that card advantage can really add up. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying this should cost 4 mana like Last Thoughts, but I’m not totally sure if 1 mana is the right place for this either, especially since an evasive one-drop into one of these is two cards right away, and that multiplies if you have more copies. Cipher as a Maestros mechanic is also interesting- obviously they like copying instants and sorceries, but it doesn’t seem to me that they would match with the skulking, cryptic flavor of Cipher. They seem pretty loud and proud. However, like I said before, you’ve done a good job of making me reconsider Cipher, so that in and of itself is a commendation.

Quell, the Living Storm by @helloijustreadyourpost

This card is a very interesting cross-section between Elemental tribal and spellslinger, which I don’t think is something we’ve seen before? The power buff not only makes it so that you can swing with these guys pretty hard, but also enables the casualty ability, which is some neat self-synergy. This guy clearly wants to be a commander, I’m just having a hard time picturing what you would want in the deck. Elementals obviously, but what kind of instants and sorceries? The red ones that make more temporary elementals, I guess? Don’t get me wrong, this is a cool card, and could definitely see print, but it’s a bit too linear for my tastes. There are some hints of Ball Lightning tribal in here, which could have been really cool if you doubled down on that a bit more? I dunno. However, big bonus points for being the first custom card designer ever to put “storm” in the name of a card that has nothing to do with Storm.

Mirageherd Matriarch by @pocketvikings

Noncreature/ small creature token payoff. Iiiiinteresting.... I like it. There’s some obvious parallels here between this and Poppet Stitcher/ Poppet Factory, but obviously it has a bit of a different intended use. I’m not totally sure I get the flavor of how an elephant turns Treasures and Clues into other elephants? Some flavor text definitely could have helped here. Also, the repeatable investigate does make for some nice creature sac fodder, but in a deck with literally any other token generation, it would never happen. Maybe it could be something like “if you didn’t create a token this turn”? Anyways, lots of cool shenanigans to be done with this, especially since there are some noncreature tokens you can make for pretty cheap rates, but I think it straddles the right power level.

Throk, Prismari Alumnus by @snugz

I had to do a double take at this card because I thought it was full hybrid for a second, which would have been a bit pie-breaky, but this is styled after the strixhaven cycle, so all good there. However, for future reference, those cards do use a gold frame to avoid confusion. Onto the mechanics- mass granting your spells Cipher for just 4 mana seems very very strong. Cipher cards, though a bit overly cautious, were costed as much more expensive than their non-Cipher counterparts, because you get to repeat them several times without having to spend cards each time. Add that to the natural evasion granted by ciphering cards, and you have one heck of a powerhouse for 4 mana. It’s still a really cool idea, but it needs some limits on it to make it work nicer. Maybe the first spell each turn has Cipher? Or you pay N as you cast it to gain Cipher? There’s options here, but I do think it needs to be toned down a bit.

Well of Discordance by @hypexion

This card went through some pretty major iterations in the Discord, and there were some solid ideas throughout the process. I do like where this card started. However, this would just be an absolute mess of triggers- essentially, untapping with this would turn a commander game into a 40+ minute game of solitaire as you debate whether or not you have enough mana to continue the cascade chain or not. My issue isn’t the power level, per se- I think as a 6-mana legendary artifact that costs an extra one per spell, it’s in a good spot. I just think there’s too much decision paralysis that comes along with it. Additionally, I can also see this confusing some players who think there’s a period between seeing what you get off the cascade trigger and casting it. That happens immediately, though, so you have to grant cascade blindly. All in all, it’s a neat card, but very complex and not fun to play against.

Gossamer Twin by @nine-effing-hells

“Clone with downside” is always a bit of a fun concept to play around with, though it’s hard to beat Phantasmal Image. Making it more vulnerable to damage but not necessarily to spot removal is a cool take on it, and I do like the flavor of some sort of miniature thread-like copy of something much larger. However, there’s not much to it beyond that. The card feels very plain, and not too exciting. Maybe if it overlaid flying in addition to the abilities of the copied creature? I think flavor text helps sell this too, since Gossamer twin is such a cool, evocative name that is begging for some contextualization. It’s a clever card, and definitely one that tickles my fancy, but I don’t see myself having fun playing this one.

The Bolstering Matrix by @dimestoretajic

That sure is an effect that’s a dream come true for anyone who likes cloning and copying. Obviously, I love this effect. It’s great, and I would love to build around it. However, it’s hard not to compare this to my main man Riku of Two Reflections. For the same mana value, you get the same effect- except you have to pay two mana every time you use it, and its stapled onto a fragile 2/2 instead of a harder-to-remove enchantment. This definitely needs to either be more expensive (in which case you’ll have likely played all your good creatures before this comes down) or have some sort of other limitation (creature type? Mana value? Paying mana like Riku?). The second ability is the cherry on top- I do like that one quite a bit better, and it’s a nice complement to the other one. However, the power level of this needs to be adjusted before I can truly love it.

Bankshot Technique by @deg99

You said “Hypothetical 2-headed Giant set on Strixhaven themed around Mage Tower”, and I fell in love. You went into my brain and pulled out a set that I literally want more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life. And the card is neat! It’s just not the best proof-of-concept for this amazing set idea. Moving counters is solid- feels like a Quandrix-y thing to do, and it’s established as a possible UG hybrid effect (even though this is also a gold card like the Cipher legend above), and the team reference is neat. I do wonder if there’s a way to clean it up, but that’s not my main problem. I just don’t see demonstrate working in a 2HG set, since so many people would assume they can give their teammate a copy to get two copies themselves. It just works against the concept of 2HG, which is unfortunate, cause the concept is cool. Also, this seems like a rough card to have 3 copies on the stack of- counters would just get madly shuffled around and doubled like crazy, and math would be hard. The name even implies it wants to be an instant-speed combat trick, but that would make it even more painfully complex, so I don’t know what direction this card is pulling in.

Derivative Subversion by @reaperfromtheabyss

...How is this not a card again? Copying and countering spells are costed pretty much the same, and making it modal just makes sense. The entwine is a nice touch. I will say that, even though we can copy permanent spells now, not every copy spell has to be able to do that, and this card feels like it should just copy instants/sorceries. It would ruin the symmetry with the counter half, but still. Also, I’m not sure what the name is getting at? Like, those are just fancy words for “copy” and “interfere with”, so I get how they match up to the modes, but I don’t get what it means in-world. Flavor text? AD? Something to give more context, even if it’s “snarky blue mage quote”.

The Halls of Maurer Estate by @wolkemesser

So this card is cool, but... it’s red. Red red red, all the way. Attack trigger? Red. Temporary tokens? Red. I’m not feeling the esper here at all, except maybe from the name and art. Speaking of which- the “haunted mirror” thing is cool as hell, and I wish the card leaned into that more mechanically, because wow, that’s such a neat idea for a card. I do wonder though, was this card intended to copy *every* attacking creature? As is, you not only double your own board when you attack, but (apart from corner cases) you get a 1:1 copy to block every single creature coming at you. That makes this a HUGE value card for ETB/value decks, while also being a nigh-impassable pillowfort, unless the opponent has huge tramplers or straight unblockable stuff. I do like where you were going with this card, but the concept needed some adjustments.

Chiwit, the Living Leyline by @i-am-the-one-who-wololoes

I’ll admit, this is definitely a different direction from most of the cards this week, and I like where it starts. Rewarding you for manipulating your mana generators to individually produce multiple mana would make for a super cool deck. However, I wish it had a more exciting reward than “draw a card”. Also, this gets really fuzzy when you look at the limitations. What counts as a single source? Is Dawn’s Reflection separate from the land it enchants? What is the “source” of mana? (Hint: it’s not the obvious answer)? What’s the difference between Nyxbloom Ancient and Caged Sun? These questions all have answers, but they aren’t exactly intuitive. I understand wanting to be inclusive of ritual spells, but there’s a reason most effects are phrased with regards to “tapping permanents for mana”. This is such a cool idea, too, it just lost some stuff on the execution.

That’s that for this week! Have fun with the current contest, and I’ll see you all again soon!

~judge @naban-dean-of-irritation

#mtg #magic the gathering #custom Magic card #Inventor's Fair #partial decree #commentary

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athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit · 4 years ago

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Let the Stars Witness

Okay okay holy— omg I did it! My first request and from an admired writer of mine no less!

From @kim-monsterlings : Hi and welcome!! Really looking forward to seeing your work! ~ If you would, could I request some form of friends to lovers with an orc? (Prompts maybe like, "you deserve better.") Thank you! <3

Since it wasn't specified on what their genders are, I hope your okay with what I went with! And I kinda trailed off from the prompt (or rather it's different but similar)

Anyways you'll know when you read!

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Pairing: Male Orc (Duruk) x Human Fem!Reader

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: None.

•

"You know, I never thought I would be friends with anyone here, especially with someone other than my, well, species," you tell your companion, your eyes not leaving the cloudless night sky as you lied on your back on the roof of his house. The stars were out tonight.

If you told your younger self that you'd be having great escapades (if running away and getting into a series of trouble fall under that) with an orc, you would most definitely cry your eyes out because you thought were being teased, taking it as a hurtful comment. You were sensitive like that. Part of the reason why no one would even go near you, afraid they might hurt you with a pat on the shoulder or with one word alone. You became the prime target of bullies, finding twisted amusement at your pathetic reactions. A crybaby, they called you. But it wasn't your fault you didn't have much control over your emotions. You were weird, asocial, timid, maybe even depressed. Having a neglectful family didn't help either, it just worsened.

•

The morning you met Duruk was after the orientation. And it was not so good for a first impression.

Long story short, you cried.

But since you're perhaps curious as to what happened exactly, let's elaborate.

You had your headphones on, the melodic sound of gentle rain played in a 3-hour loop and blocked out other noises, your eyes glued to the path you were on. You took long and hurried steps, wishing you could teleport to your classroom and hide in the back, disappear or become invisible.

You were distracted, or should we say, focused on the ground and expecting everyone to step aside and let you through.

Well, except for the one who had his back on you.

You crashed—not an exaggeration— into something- someone massive. You stumbled back and landed on your bum, wincing from the impact. Luckily, your headphones were safe (ah yes, priorities), detaching from your ears and landing on your shoulders. When you looked up to see who it was, you thought your eyes were gonna fall off, grow little legs, and scamper away.

Before you stood an orc, halfway turned to glance at whoever it was that tried to push him, his sharp tusks jutting out from his maw. His brows were furrowed as he looked down on you. Sure, he wasn't as tall as the orcs you've seen around the city and campus but still was over 6 feet, with muscles thicker than your thighs, easily hulking you.

You tried to get out an apology and run as far as you could go, but you just sat there, frozen as you strained your neck to meet his gaze, you couldn't look away. Your heart was trying to claw its way out into the surface.

Then you felt the tears swell up.

They cascaded down your face before you even could stop them.

The orc's eyes widened at your reaction and crouched down to your level in an instant that he almost fell over. His hands hovered, not sure what to do.

"Hey, hey, please don't cry. Please don't—"

"I-I-I'm re..really s-sorry p-please don't hurt m-me..." You managed to choke out pathetically, hiccuping in every word.

"Shhh now hey, it's okay. It was an accident— what? No! Why would I do that?" he replied. The orc peeked over his shoulder and to the sides. "Let's get you to somewhere, uh, less crowded," he added. You turned your head and saw that you had an audience, whispers went around as they sent pitiful and disgusted glances in your direction, only making you cry even more.

He proceeded to unceremoniously lift you into his arms, bridal style, and dashed away. You gripped the front of his shirt and shut your eyes. You were trembling now, scared of what he might do to you. How could you even fight back with your small stature?

It wasn't long until you felt him slow down and placed you carefully on a bench. The orc knelt in front of you, brows scrunched up as he studied your face.

"You okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

You didn't reply, only staring at him through your glassy eyes as you heaved.

You flinched when his hand started rubbing your back, his other hand placed on the side of the bench to balance himself.

He continued to caress your back and murmured soothing words in hopes of calming you down.

Your tears didn't stop falling until moments later when you came down from your initial fear, the warmth of his palm leaving your back once you did. All the while the orc remained where he was, at a loss of what to do next.

You rubbed your sticky face with the collar of your pale and blotchy crimson sweater, sniffing and taking slow, deep breaths before you spoke.

"I... I'm sorry for causing you trouble. E-Even going as far as to take me somewhere quiet. I...appreciate that." You thought you'd pass out with the way people gathered around you, it was suffocating. "Thank you..."

"I panicked," he started, "Sorry—I mean, it's okay, you didn't do anything wrong. I get that a lot of people run away from the sight of me, but you didn't, and just froze there on the ground so..." he shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck.

You shook your head. He was such an imposing figure to many, their first thought was most likely to get away or scream at him.

"You looked angry... When I bumped into you." You slammed into him actually, but he didn't budge an inch. Guess it was one-sided.

"Oh, that? Well, my brother scolds me a lot for having such a grumpy face, scaring humans away. Like he was the one to talk when he's taller and bigger than me! People would faint on the spot when they see him, I bet!"

The image your mind conjured up tore a laugh out of your body, two orcs arguing about how not to terrify people at sight was damn hilarious. When was the last time someone made you laugh like this?

The orc grinned, your reaction a contrast to that of earlier.

You opened your mouth to say something but the ringing of the great bell resounded, cutting you off. The two of you stood up as you realized you were late for your first class of the school year.

"So, uh, what now?" you asked.

"How about we go to our class, then maybe meet up later? Oh, fu— my mother will gut me— I haven't introduced myself!" He blurted out, his voice making you yelp with the sudden outburst.

Clearing his throat, he reached out, "I'm Duruk."

In turn, you gave him your name, taking his hand and smiled. "Hello, Duruk."

•

True to his word, you met again later when lunch came. The cafeteria was packed so you settled on getting the convenience food they offered and eat somewhere quiet.

Your conversation that day spiraled when you found out the two of you had a lot in common. From your favorite rock band to your favorite flavor of ice cream.

You both strongly agreed that vanilla ice cream was superior.

You agreed to meet up during breaks, always having something to chat about.

Eventually, you became inseparable.

He even changed and transferred to your class just so the two of you could be together at the start of the day rather than walk half of the campus to see each other every time.

You became best friends, sharing each moment in school, may it be helping the other stay awake in a boring class, or copying homework when one of you forgot to do it. Soon enough, Duruk started inviting you to his house to hang out. He did mention he had four other siblings, but he lived alone. You came by almost every night and on whole weekends to escape from home, only a few miles in between. No one would notice you gone anyways, but you returned around midnight, not wanting to impose on Duruk no matter what he says, so he walks you back instead.

You basked in each other's company. The odd and scrutinizing glares didn't go unnoticed when you two were together, but you shrugged them all off.

It didn't take long before you started having feelings for the orc, a little wishful thinking that you could be more than friends. You noted lately that his touches would linger seconds longer than usual, hugs and even a hand on your shoulder and back seem to be warmer and —you dare say— affectionate. It weighed heavily on your heart, your simple crush turned into something else, and it only grew with each passing day, and every laugh you shared.

But of course, you swatted those away, buried them deep inside every damn time they climb back up. Who could even love you? Yes, you have Duruk, he likes you, you think. But that's the end of it. Just close buddies. You can't take the risk of ruining your friendship with him and make things awkward with the only one you had! What if he stops talking to you, weirded out by your confession? You don't want to go back to being alone again, your heart can't take the rejection that came with it.

So you endured.

•

A little over five months ever since the embarrassing accident, here you are now, stargazing with your best friend.

"Well, good thing you didn't watch where you were going that time then," he says, chuckling beside you. His hands cushioned his head against the hard surface. "I wouldn't have..." he trails off.

"Hm, what?" you ask. Duruk went silent and didn't answer you for a time. You were about to let it slide but then he breathes in audibly.

"I wouldn't have met an angel if you did. Should've caught you in my arms, but sadly I didn't move fast enough." He replies, his voice deep and mellow.

You straighten up and turn to face him, your brows shot up, incredulous to what he just implied.

"W-Wait. What?" you squeak, your heart thumping hard in your chest, your skin warming up even in the chilled night air.

Is he—

"You're so cute, y'know that? Fuck it, it's all or nothing," he whispers under his breath as he sits up to face you. His expression was unreadable, but you see in his mahogany eyes a familiar glint of determination. "I'm not good with long-ass speeches so I'll make this short," he breathes in before he continues, "I feel something for you, for a while now, more than a best friend does, like...in a romantic sense. I want to cherish you and hold you in my arms every time I see you, I- ah fuck- damn it I just—" he growls, "I love you, so much and if you don't love me back then please re—"

You shut him off with your lips against his, Duruk's tusks pressing against your cheeks as you held his face in your hands. He was stunned for two solid seconds before returning the kiss, his arms snaking around your waist and pulling you close and into his lap.

You feel something wet roll down your hand and you immediately jerked back to see his face. The orc was crying.

Did you do it wrong? Were you so terrible at it—

"I don't deserve you... A monster like me doesn't deserve an angel like you."

Where was this coming from??

"Say that again, I dare you."

"I don't de—"

This idiot!

You pecked his lips to cut him off.

"You big dummy," you begin, "I love you too, idiot. You may be a monster but not what everyone else defines you as. I love you as you are. You're my best friend, and dare I say my l-lover now. Is that right...?"

Duruk gives you a small, gentle smile, "If you'll have me, then yes, for as long as you want me to be." He says, sniffling a sob as a couple more tears tumbled down his rugged face.

You never thought you'd see him like this. He was the one who kept making you laugh with his stories and terrible jokes. Before you, in your hands was someone vulnerable, his eyes soft and fond as he gazed into yours.

It made your heart pound and it hurt.

You leaned in and he met you halfway, kissing once again, deeper and more intimate this time. Real. You brought your arms around his neck, your tears spilling out and he tightened his grip around you. It felt like a dream, too good to be true, but the way he hugged you like you were the only thing that anchored him in this world made you believe it wasn't. All of this was real and you couldn't be anymore happier.

From above, the glittering stars, the light gentle as they shone, bear witness to two freed hearts, bottled up feelings gushing out like a broken dam as you embraced one another and lost yourselves in the moment of bliss, cheeks stained and clothes lightly damp from the tiny rivulets of liquid that dropped down.

It's a lovely night, isn't it?

#athenawrites #my writing #exophilia #monster lover #orc lover #orc x human #monster boyfriend #orc boyfriend #orc x reader #monster x human #requests #fiction #terato #romance #monster romance #orc

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collecting-stories · 4 years ago

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Book Club - 90s!Luke Patterson

Summary: Reggie books a gig at a suburban mom’s book club and Luke takes full advantage of the situation to flirt with you.

A/N: I’m literally writing two other Luke fics right now 😭😭

Julie and the Phantoms Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

The third Thursday of every month belonged to your mother. It was her day, when she demanded not to be bothered, when she spent hours out of the house socializing with the women’s group that she belonged to. And, out of all those Thursdays, there were always the very special few when it wasn’t her leaving the house but everyone else. The group rotated their meeting time, everyone for a blue moon meeting at your house, meaning, of course that you were expected to stay out. Staying out was not a difficult thing to do, in fact you relished the opportunity to spend a few more hours with your friends. 

It was one of those Thursdays, when all the ladies that your mother loved to lunch with were spending the afternoon at your house and you were making yourself scarce, that arguably the weirdest but maybe best thing happened. Your mom had told you before you left for school that morning that she expected you to stay out, and you would have, if you had remembered your wallet. But you’d left it in your room, on the edge of the vanity, and you didn’t want to be the one owing money when your friends went to lunch. A quick stop home should’ve been easy, the stairs were right off the kitchen and the side door was right there, giving you the opportunity to shoot upstairs and grab your wallet without her being the wiser to it. 

The whole thing would’ve gone off without a hitch except that when you walked through the side door and into the kitchen you came face to face with four boys from your school. You recognized them more for the fact that you didn’t hang out in the same circle; most of your friends held a certain level of contempt for the four guys that made up Sunset Curve. You didn’t necessarily dislike any of them, you didn’t necessarily even know them, though you would be lying if you said that the lead singer, who occasionally sat in front of you in math, was seriously making you rethink a deep dive into all this rock music. Luke, Reggie, Alex, and Bobby were standing in your kitchen. They were the Green Day/Nirvana worshipping, head banging rockers that ditched school regularly and got into worlds of trouble and they were standing in your kitchen.

Bobby was the only one who looked up from snacking on leftover hors d’oeurves, saying your name in surprise as the other three all stopped to look at you too. Alex gave an awkward little wave as he set down the small sandwich he was eating.

“Uh...what are you guys doing in my house,” you asked, looking between the four of them.

“Your mom tapped us to perform for her ladies club.” Luke explained, dropping his food on the plate and wiping his hands against his black pants.

Your mom had invited these four to sing for her conservative ladies’ group? You tried not to but you couldn’t help the smile that crossed your face when you thought about it. Whatever your friends said about the guys, you weren’t ashamed to say you had taken one of the free demos that Reggie handed out and had been listening to it on repeat for a while now. “My mom wanted you guys to play a gig for her and her friends?” You clarified.

“Until we started playing,” Reggie replied, and you couldn’t help laughing.

“I bet...you guys aren’t exactly...suburban mom rock.” You joked, “though I totally would’ve loved to see their faces when you guys started singing.”

The grin on Luke’s face was unmistakable though you missed it as you nabbed one of the sandwiches on the plate near Alex. It was probably some really stupid cliche, him liking one of the popular girls. Cute, cheerleader, future prom queen. You hung out with people who listened to Britney Spears and Spice Girls, any knowledge of the rock scene they might’ve actually had was only for the sake of making dumb jabs at him or his friends. Still, Luke had a massive crush on you and he wasn’t so embarrassed to admit it. Bobby joked that he wanted to “bring you over to the dark side” and maybe that sounded cynical but he thought he wouldn’t mind seeing you look a little less perfectly put together if it had something to do with him. Hearing you mention his music almost had him doing a back flip from excitement.

“So you’ve listened to our music?” Luke asked, moving closer to you, leaning on the counter beside you. Behind him, Alex rolled his eyes.

“Reggie gave out demos like...last month.” You shrugged, trying to play it off. You’d been excited to listen to their music, see if it was any good and had discovered that you actually loved it. They were talented guys and you felt surprisingly connected to the songs. “I might’ve listened.”

“I did!” Reggie piped up, “I gave demos to all the-” he stopped, mouthing instead, as if you wouldn’t understand him when he said ‘all the cute girls’.

“I hate to ask but...don’t you think like, actual clubs would be better places to promote your music? I don’t think the middle-aged moms are really a target audience, unless you’re into that kind of thing?” You said, peering down the hallway when you heard the familiar squeak of a floorboard. If the boys were still here than there was no doubt in your mind that your mom had told them to stay for some reason or another.

“You gotta start somewhere.” Luke replied, unfazed by the hint of judgement in your voice.

“My living room?” You asked, jokingly.

He smiled, “actually, we’re playing a club on the strip tomorrow night, we could, maybe, get you on the guest list?”

“We’re opening for someone else,” Bobby cut in, bringing Luke back down to reality, “I’m pretty sure no one’s ever even heard of the band we’re opening for.”

Luke glared at Bobby, sticking his finger in his mouth and then jabbing it into Bobby’s ear, a smile of success immediately lighting up his features when Bobby recoiled in disgust. “So what’d ya say?” Luke asked.

“I mean, I guess technically every band deserves girls screaming for them, so sure…I’ll go.” You agreed, eyes on Luke the entire time.

The last concert you had been to wasn’t even for you, your mom had dragged you to a Beach Boys concert up in San Francisco for her birthday weekend when your father refused to indulge her so-called ‘terrible taste in music’. “There are just some things we will never agree on and music is one of them.” He had insisted back then. It was the same thing you felt like telling your friends when you declined a party invitation in favor of heading down to the strip to see the guys play. You could’ve maybe played it off casually, as if you were heading down there anyway and Sunset Curve just happened to be opening but Bobby was right, you’d never heard of the band that was performing after them.

Not to mention Luke decided to show up for a least a quarter of the day just to mess with your head. You had spotted him in the hallway between classes and smiled when he looked your way, a split second before the sea of students scrambled to get to their lockers. Your own best friends appeared by yours, looking more and more like carbon copies of the Heathers every day. You kind of hated them, truth be told, but you didn’t have too many other options.

They were badgering you about the party as you tried to wrack your brain for an excuse that sounded convincing when Luke stopped, right in front of the three of you.

“Hey, I’ll see ya tonight?” He asked, whole body turned to face you and completely ignoring the looks of disdain and shock cloaking your friends faces.

You felt like a deer in headlights. Say yes and your friends would probably ostracise you, say no and you could just imagine the look on Luke’s face. Anything but this absolutely sincere and hopeful smile was something you didn’t want to be responsible for. You really liked him looking at you like that.

“Yeah, can’t wait.” You nodded.

When he stepped back out into the traffic of the hallway he touched your waist, as if he was anchoring himself for a second and you bit your lip, letting yourself watch him disappear before turning to face the firing squad.

“Luke Patterson?” Both of your friends spoke in unison, one breaking off to elaborate, “you’re ditching a party at Max Turner’s house for Luke Patterson?”

“His band is playing at some club on the strip.” You replied, shutting your locker and heading toward your next class. “They invited me to come watch the show.”

“And you’re going?”

You hadn’t been to anything smaller than a stadium concert before and the implication of a concert at a local club venue, right on the strip with all the ‘riffraff’ that were hanging around trying to make it big like their 80’s punk rock idols wasn’t exactly your scene but, Luke had looked so cute asking you to go and you had the tiniest, maybe delusional, feeling that he’d come to school just to remind you that tonight was the concert. How could could even consider some suburban house party to that?

“Yeah, why not,” you shrugged, trying to play it off like it was nothing, you could see your social status flashing before your eyes and your mom’s voice desperately begging you to reconsider. “Besides, Luke’s hot.”

“Did you have some kind of Freaky Friday switch when you woke up this morning? Luke is not hot.”

“Okay,” you drew the word as if disbelieving. He wasn’t some 90210 reincarnate but he was definitely one of the hottest guys in school, not to mention the sleeveless shirts were an added bonus. “Well, I said I was going, so I’m going.”

And, despite the continued protests of your friends throughout the day, you did go. You promised your parents you were spending Friday night studying at Terri’s house and took the bus down to the strip to wait in line for Sunset Curve and whoever was headlining. You stood there twirling your fake ID in your hands, listening to the two girls in front of you (who didn’t need fakes) talk about some drummer that wasn’t anyone you’d ever heard of and tried to look as mature as possible. If Luke, Alex, Reggie, and Bobby could play this venue, surely you could get into it.

Whether the ID worked or the bouncer at the front door just didn’t care, he let you through, admitting you into a pulsing crowd of people making their way through the small vestibule and into the venue. You slipped your way through the crowd until you made it to the front, pressed against the railing and inches away from another bouncer who seemed just as disinterested in you. The drumkit that was already on the stage had the Sunset Curve logo on it. You ran a hand through your hair and fixed your shirt, maybe it was silly but you were sort of hoping that even in the silhouetted lighting of the venue you Luke might see you. Maybe a little pathetic groupie on your end but he had invited you.

And he did see you. Halfway through Now or Never when he looked down over the crowd, he caught you, dancing along to their music, the smile on your face as you mouthed the words was infectious. It was the combination of seeing someone singing all the songs back to them and that person being you, mixed with the adrenaline of the performance, that had him pushing to give his absolute all. You’d actually come and he was determined to make this a great concert for you.

Alex was the one to announce that they would be in the vestibule during the lull between bands, they got the occasional straggler who dared to leave their post long enough to say hello or great job but usually it garnered nothing more than the four of them splitting some pizza and relaxing by their merch table. Tonight, as they headed off stage to an enthusiastic crowd, Luke chanced a glance back but he couldn’t find you in the sea of people. Reggie grabbed his arm, pulling him the rest of the way off the stage and throwing an arm around his shoulder, going on about how awesome the show was, Luke quickly returning the jovial compliment.

“We were fire, man, that sounded so rad tonight!” He cheered, following Alex and Bobby as they made their way through the small hall that wove back into the vestibule.

“It was insane!” Reggie agreed.

You had made your way back through the venue after Luke mentioned being at the merch table, slipping back passed the bouncer at the inside door, flashing your stamped hand. Their table was set up in the corner, a little way away from the headlining band’s. You stepped into the vestibule at the same time as the boys, waving at Alex when he looked your way. He nodded, reaching over to tap Luke’s chest with the back of his hand.

“That was incredible.” You admitted, walking over to their table. Luke’s smile instantly widened as he walked around to your side, not even thinking as he hugged you, your shoulders hunching at the feeling of sweat that encompassed you. “Ew.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Luke apologized, pulling away and putting his hands on your upper arms for a second before dropping them to his sides. “Still going off the adrenaline.”

“That’s okay,” you promised, “you’re cute enough to get away with it.”

“Yeah?” He leaned against the table, trying to look cool. He felt like he was grasping for words and he didn’t want to start stuttering or sounding dumb, Bobby would never let him live it down if he made a fuck up of himself. The other three tried not to laugh and ruin his moment.

You seemed to recover from the moment first, glancing at the other three before landing on Luke again. “You guys are totally a live band though...like that was so good.”

Reggie came in with a save, letting Luke off the hook for a moment, “Are you heading back in to see the headliner?”

You grimaced, “don’t really know them...not really interested.” You replied, keeping your eyes on Luke, hoping that was hint enough that you’d come just to see him.

It clearly was because, as a few girls stepped into the vestibule and looked like they were coming your way, Luke grabbed your arm, nodding toward the doorway for you to follow him. You did, walking with him into the hallway so that it was quieter, the sounds of the house music and the chatter of people outside being drowned out in the small corridor.

“So, uh, sorry I’m still wigging out that you came.” He admitted.

“I said I was going to, twice. Did you seriously think I was lying?” You asked.

“I mean, I heard your friends giving you a hard time when I walked away, figured you might back out.”

“Well, I’m glad I didn’t, seriously Luke, you guys are amazing. You’re so talented.” You replied.

“Guess I was right when I told Reggie to take that book club gig huh?” He said, fiddling with the rabbit’s foot on his keychain.

“Why’s that?”

“I thought maybe if I was lucky, I’d catch a glimpse of you...having you come here and watch us though? Better than I could’ve imagined.” He replied, grinning at you.

“You wanted to see me?”

“Yeah, don’t act so surprised.” He said, “you gotta know how insanely cool you are. And you look beautiful tonight, by the way.”

“Thanks,” you bit your bottom lip to try and keep your composure, “I uh...damn, you’re making me super nervous.”

“Yeah?” He stepped a little closer to you, his hands brushing against yours as if he was going to hold them. You couldn’t help wishing he would.

“I should probably let you get back to your fans,” you pointed out, glancing back out the door to where a few more people had gathered. If you stayed in this hallway with him any longer there was no way you were letting him back out.

“Hang out? We could grab some pizza or something after?” He asked.

“Yeah, absolutely.”

When he walked back through the door you followed behind him, hanging back so you weren’t hovering around them as they chatted with and signed stuff for the group of people that had ventured out between sets. It didn’t matter though, as he talked, he kept looking back at you smiling as if you were both in on some sort of secret.

#luke patterson x reader #luke patterson x y/n #luke patterson x you #luke patterson imagine #luke patterson fanfic #luke patterson fanfiction #luke patterson fic #julie and the phantoms fic #julie and the phantoms fanfic #julie and the phantoms fanfictions #julie and the phantoms imagine #jatp fanfic #jatp fanfiction #jatp fic #jatp imagine #collecting stories imagine

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akajustmerry · 3 years ago

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Wait what’s wrong with the suicide squad 2021?

i'm so glad you asked!

putting harley in a frilly dress, where she sees flowers and daisies while killing people, and having her say benign high one-liners isn't true to her character at all! it's actually just infantilising her while at the same time objectifying her. the way her torture scene was sensually framed made me fucking ill. harley is a person who feels pain, not a manic pixie sexy murder doll. she and i quote, has a phd motherfucker

also sorry but if you think her speech to the duke guy or whatever is groundbreaking just say u didn't see birds of prey.

viola davis was beyond disrespected in the 2021 movie, in fact she was degraded. amanda waller is a fucking authority figure and to have her so violently put down in the 2021 movie was dehumanising and had the added effect of lowering the stakes IMMENSLY for the overall plot. at least in the 2016 movie, the explosive collars were an actual threat.

i cannot express how fucking racist and tone-deaf the 2021 movie is i actually do not even know where to start. how about treating brown ppl as interchangeable and casting a Maori man to play a Portuguese woman's father? how about making up a country and casting non-descript brown resistance fighters from that country just so the protagonists can kill them on mass for a gag with zero consequences? how about another ongoing gag being that no can pronounce the country they're in? for a movie purporting to criticise american military imperialism, it sure is bulging with ugly american imperialist attitudes.

and the tone-deafness? in 2021 you made a movie where a Black woman threatens a Black man by telling him his Black daugher will get raped in prison?? what the FUCK is wrong with people they think that's good writing?

the fucking toilet humour oh my fucking god. whatever you have to say about 2016 movie at least it didn't rely on fucking 69 jokes and dick jokes. at least 2016's humour actually was in the physicality, performances and chemistry between the characters

the plots of 2016/2021 are mostly the same except instead of having a skybeam of death, 2021 had a killer starfish which just looked fucking corny. it wasn't even consistently written?? they pulled them off their face once and those fuckers didn't even try to attack them??

at least the 2016 movie leaned into a sort of honour among misfits theme as a personality for the film. this new movie's whole personality is LOOK HOW HORRIBLE AND VIOLENT THESE PEOPLE ARE ISN'T THAT NIFTY. newsflash: being openly unlikeable isn't what makes characters likeable, a personal code does, which none of these characters had so i didn't give a fuck. again, in the first movie they actually took the time to establish the unique moral codes of each of the characters!!

people saying the 2021 movie was paced better are fucking kidding themselves. this movie is way too long and takes 40 minutes before the main plot even is announced. at least in the 2016 movie they streamlined that with waller's fun profile montage, which again this movie did copy but somehow people think this movie is ✨different ✨

i don't give a fuck about millenial jokes but its a red flag to me if a movie is making a joke at the expense of its major target audience in the first 20 minutes. huge red flag,

idk i could go on and on but there really isn't a single thing this movie improved on. the characters were less interesting, mostly the actors who played them were sleepwalking through their performances, soundtrack sucked, the costumes were awful, the cinematography had way too much exposure and everything about it felt gimmicky in the worst way, king shark wasn't even characterised as the intelligent Atlantis king he is. a fucking waste of time.

this movie had one ONE good moment and that was killing captain boomerang or as i call him captain cultural appropriation.

anyways all of this is a huge reason why I am always sceptical when something is praised en masse for being groundbreaking because it generally means it actually is just appealing to existing horrible tastes.

#the suicide squad #birds of prey #harley quinn #anon #fk this movie

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writing-with-whiplash · 4 years ago

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Holding On

“Holding On”

Hey guys! This is a fanfic of @jangofctts amazing clone oc Sweets! Go check out her awesome clone oc’s by searching for “sunburst squadron” on her blog and also check out all the other amazing fics she has! Sweets is her creation. I do not own his character, I’m just writing for him.

Sweets x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: 18+ ONLY-- Not explicit, but a sexual situation, a little spicy, implied smut; lap dance; swearing; friends to lovers; lemme know if I missed anything!

Summary: Reader, a friend of the Sunburst Squadron, gives Sweets a private dance

Author’s note: The songs I had in mind for the dance were “Movement” by Hozier and “Hold On” by Brooke Annibale if you want to listen ;)

Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!

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The night had started out like many nights on Coruscant with the Sunburst Squadron. Most of the boys wanted to go out to 79’s--per usual--and they finally convinced you to go with them. Clubs and the usual nightlife of the big planet-wide city weren’t really your thing, the strobe lights, loud music, and crowds of drunken partiers being much less preferable to your calm nights on base. You spent most nights murmuring encouragements to the poor soldiers in the med bay, reviewing paperwork for Void and Blanche so they wouldn’t overwork themselves, or hanging in the target range with Sweets. At the moment, you desperately wished to be in the target range.

The bass coming from the surround-sound speakers was cranked up so high you could feel the vibrations in your tummy and the glass in your hand. Troopers and civies alike paraded about the tightly packed bar, wiggling to the beat like intoxicated sardines. You simply shook your head, nursing your only drink of the night. You had told the boys that you just wanted a little buzz and they didn’t pressure you into getting more while they ordered round after round. Blue and Jaws were already slumped in the booth, although you couldn’t fathom how they could possibly sleep with all the noise going on. Max was chatting up some cute stranger at the bar and by the looks of it, he wasn’t coming back to the barracks with the rest of the group tonight. Blanche had entrusted you with making sure his boys made it back to base, but you knew you couldn’t pry Max away from his prize. Scanning the humid bar for the rest of the squad, you saw Bruiser in the midst of an arm wrestling match. His boisterous laugh barely carried above the pounding music as he smashed his opponent’s knuckles onto the sticky table, earning himself another small pile of credits. You made a mental note to make sure no one tried to pick a fight with him over money throughout the evening. Kami was a little harder to find, tucked away in a shadowed corner as he received a not-so-subtle lap dance from a pretty twi’lek girl. Fuse, the last member of the squad who decided to go out, sat nestled in the booth right next to you, bouncing to the beat of whatever was playing. He watched your gaze linger on Kami and the girl.

Scooting closer to you, he hollered, “Jealous, eh?”

“Jealous of what?” you hollered back. Fuse smirked and nodded his head toward the pair just as the dancer lowered herself in Kami’s lap, swirling her hips in time with the song. It hit you that Fuse thought you liked Kami. “Jealous of her? Fuck no! I’m not after Kami.” You shook your head and downed the rest of your drink, the alcohol burning your throat before settling in your tummy. When Fuse gave you a look of obvious disbelief you leaned back over to him. “I don’t like him! I just--” You paused for a second, debating whether or not to tell your friend about why you kept looking back at the pair. His expectant gaze implored you to continue. “I just wish I could do something like that. Dance like that.” You shook your head again, bracing for some teasing comment from Fuse. The trooper simply stared.

“What makes you think you can’t?” His brow furrowed as you shrugged, not wanting to open up about your insecurities in the middle of the bar. “What, do you think you’re not good enough or something?”

The concerned expression on your friend’s face made you cave. “I just don’t feel confident enough to pull something like that off. I’m awkward and clumsy and she’s so pretty and he’s so into it and I don’t know how to do anything like that. I don’t know how to make someone be into me like that.”

Fuse’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Girl, you could captivate any guy in this bar if you danced like that. And I know you could do it. I know you could!” Fuse shouted in your ear. “That dress you’re wearing is already stunning. You could take any of these guys home with just a sway of your hips. Why don’t you believe in yourself?”

Heat bloomed in your cheeks as Fuse’s words settled in your ears. You could take any of them home just like that? You shook your head a little at the thought. There’s no way it could be that easy. You were too stiff and nervous to have prowess like that. Besides, the only trooper you wanted was still back at the base, most likely spending his night alone with his sniper rifle in the shooting range. Fuse snatched your mind from the enveloping quiet of the range and shoved it back into the dingy club.

“Maybe you just need some practice,” he purred, scooting impossibly closer and wiggling his eyebrows.

“Shut up!” You shoved his shoulder at the insinuation, although you knew he wasn’t serious. Fuse cackled with laughter, lightly shoving you back. Your ankle wobbled as you took the weight of the shove on your high heel, damn the skinny things. They looked great, but at what cost? “I have practiced, thank you very much.” As soon as the words left your mouth you regretted telling him. If the air in the bar had been a little thicker, you supposed you could have snatched the words right out of it and popped them back in your traitorous mouth, but they had already entered Fuse’s ears.

Fuse’s mouth formed a little ‘o’. “And just who have you been practicing with? Honey, I can give you all the tips you need on how to dance like that.”

Rolling your eyes, you shook your head. There was no way in the galaxy you were about to tell Fuse you had spent several lonely evenings practicing a dance on an empty chair. The mirror you danced in front of did nothing to boost your confidence--only betraying wobbly legs and stiff arms. The sensual sway of the music you picked never influenced your movements. It simply made them seem more clunky and out of place. The flimsy armchair rocked dangerously beneath you every time you leaned against it, lacking the anchor of an audience. You had actually slipped off it once, and when Void asked you why you needed bacta for the large bruise blooming across your side, you made up a story about running into your desk in the middle of the night. To make matters worse, you weren’t sure if the audience you always imagined would even want a dance from you.

Sweets was so shy and quiet. Although he didn’t talk much when you first met him, it only took a couple of days for you to fall completely head over heels for him. After several weeks of working with the team, he had started talking to you about local flora he found on missions and let you watch him in the gun range. You got as close as he would let you, but you had no idea if he reciprocated your feelings. The thought of him refusing you--of him shutting you out--always made your stomach plummet as you tried to sway your hips over the empty chair. You could just see his face freeze at your offer of a private dance--how he would withdraw within himself with a disgusted look and never talk to you again. There’s no way he would ever want you or agree, so why should you risk your friendship over a stupid little dance?

Fuse ripped you from your spiraling thoughts with a snap of his fingers before your nose. “Ground control to sad girl, do you copy?” You flicked his hand away, trying to rid your mind of its noise. “Come on, I know you. You’re sitting here telling yourself that you can’t do it so much that you’ve convinced yourself not to try at all. And I’m here to tell you that you can do it. Any guy would be lucky to get a dance from you, you hear? Any guy. So who’s the lucky one you’ve been practising for, huh?”

“I wouldn’t tell you for a million credits,” you shot at him. It was true. The idea of Fuse knowing that you had feelings--and unprofessional thoughts--for his brother were mortifying, not only because of the storm of teasing to follow, but because of the possibility of some of the other squad members finding out, namely the squad member in question. Fuse was unpredictable.

“I think I know who it is anyway,” Fuse waggled his eyebrows, “and he’s not here with us tonight.” A knowing smirk spread across his face as you shrank back, stomach falling to the dirty barroom floor. “Don’t worry, I’ll never tell Sweets you like him. You’re going to be the one to tell him. No, no, don’t shake your head at me. I’ve seen how you look at him. I’ve also seen how he looks at you when you can’t see him.”

Your head shot up. Sweets looked at you like that? Impossible. The words coming from Fuse’s mouth had to be wrong. The beat of your heart outpaced the music as you desperately hoped he was right. After all the months of becoming friends with Sweets, all the sleepless nights dreaming of his arms around you, his lips on your lips, you couldn’t throw everything away just because Fuse thought Sweets liked you back. But your heart lurched, urging you to give in to your feelings. What would happen if you never told him? You very well could lose him that way, too. The thought of that happening hurt even more, causing determination to dissolve the pit you carried in your stomach. Adrenaline flowed through your veins as you promised yourself to see this through.

“I’m ready to head back to base.” You stretched and checked your watch. Blanche would not be happy if you brought the boys back too late, and by the looks of Blue and Jaws’ drooling faces, it was going to take a while to get into a cab.

“Where’s Max?” Fuse wondered aloud, scanning the bar as he pulled his comm out.

“I think he had company to attend to. I’ll get Bruiser. You can handle Kami.” You left Fuse in the booth before he could protest, eager to get back to base before your nerves convinced you to back out. Bruiser didn’t want to leave his winning streak, but the threat of Blanche’s wrath had him shoving credits into his pockets and heading toward the door. Max had indeed left with his date and Kami begrudgingly left his dancer to help you and Fuse haul the other two onto the small transport.

Anxieties swirled up from your stomach and into your heart, melting your shoes to the transport floor. You could have let them flood you, drowning out your true feelings and wants in a tidal wave of insecurities and disbelief; instead, you distracted yourself by focusing on the city lights passing by. No matter how much you tried to steel yourself, the waves of doubt lapped at the sides of your stomach, threatening to dissolve you from within. As you drew closer to base, you became more and more nervous until you began to shake. Fuse surprised you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

“You got this,” he smiled. “I believe in you. You’re going to do great and he’s going to love it. Trust me on that.” You simply nodded, biting your lower lip to keep it from trembling.

Sooner than you had hoped, the transport arrived at base. Although Fuse had tried to bolster you again, your knees wobbled and stomach churned as you led the boys back to the barracks. Blanche was waiting for you at the door, nodding at you and failing to hide a yawn behind his hand. You hadn’t meant to return so late. Part of you began to wonder if Sweets was even still awake. No matter what was going to happen tonight, the adrenaline rushing through you wasn’t about to let you sleep any time soon. Just as you hoped that maybe he had gone to sleep already, sparing you from potentially making a fool of yourself, Sweets walked down the hall from the gun range. Your stomach lurched when you saw him, sending little shivers down your spine. You waved at him a little awkwardly and he waved back, touseling his curls a bit before shoving his hands in his hoodie pocket. Fuse cast you one last smirk and helped Blanche herd their brothers toward the bunks.

“Fun night?” Sweets asked softly, watching the others stumble and weave their way down the empty hall.

“Maybe for them,” you replied, your voice too quiet. You clenched your hands to keep them from shaking and hoped Sweets didn’t notice. Unfortunately, he did. You couldn’t decide if it was excitement or nervousness that caused your stomach to tighten at his next action--Sweets grasped your hands in his own. His long, slender fingers intertwined with your own trembling ones and before you could stop yourself, you imagined what they would feel like in other places. Sweets stepped closer to you, his breath fanning across your hair as he tilted his head to the side.

“You ok?” he murmured. His thumb traced circles across your knuckles, causing you to involuntarily shiver. Sweets took that as a “no” and pulled you into his chest. “Did something happen while you were out?”

“No.” The word barely escaped your mouth as a whisper into the collar of his hoodie. “I’m just tense is all.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

An idea formed as soon as he spoke. Before you could let it be drowned in nervousness and doubt, you asked him: “Would you dance with me for a little bit? The bar was super crowded and loud and I just want to move around a little bit.” Your heart thudded so hard in your chest at Sweets’ silence that you were certain he could feel it. “Just maybe not out in the hall,” you added quietly. He huffed a small laugh at that, grabbing your hand again to pull you down the corridor.

“Come on.”

Sweets lead you into his sanctuary: the shooting range. It was completely empty at this hour of the night. Instead of leading you to the target area, Sweets took you up to the observation room. It sat behind the range floor and up a flight of stairs, meaning less opportunity for intrusion. You silently hoped the range would stay empty tonight.

Sweets flicked the dim lights on and you pulled out your pocket music drive, selecting a soft but upbeat playlist. The two of you began to move on your own a little awkwardly from opposite sides of the room, but you gravitated towards each other as the song picked up. Soon, you were giggling as Sweets spun you in circles around him. The knot in your stomach loosened as he laughed with you. The fabric of your dress lifted and flowed with each spin and sway of your hips, making you loosen up a little just to feel it sweep around the tops of your thighs. As you began another twirl around him your ankle gave way above your flimsy high heel. Faster than a shot from his own rifle, Sweets caught you and pulled you into his arms. Your breath shook as you collided with his firm chest, heat tingling in your cheeks...and between your thighs.

“Maybe you should take those off,” he hummed. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

You breathlessly agreed, kicking the offensive shoes into the corner. Sweets chuckled and pulled you into a slow dance, one hand on the middle of your spine while the other traced small circles into your lower back. Maker, he was going to be the end of you. You laced your fingers behind his neck, trying to calm down as you swayed back and forth. Sweets’ gracefulness on the battlefield had captivated you, almost causing you to get shot on multiple occasions as you watched him instead of paying attention to the battle, and it was no different as he swayed before you.

“Feeling better?” The words vibrated in his chest, drawing you even closer to him. “I’ll dance with you for as long as you like.”

You hummed against him. “I’m feeling better, but I want to stay here a while.” The pair of you stood closer than you had ever been before, and it nearly took your breath away. A particularly sensual song came up on the playlist--one that you had practiced your dance to many times--as well as the song immediately following it on the queue. It was now or never. “Sweets, would you like a dance from me?” You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him as your voice squeaked, too afraid of his answer.

“I thought we were dancing,” Sweets said in a small, questioning voice. You could almost curse his endearing innocence.

Letting out a nervous giggle you tried to subtly elaborate. “Yes, we are, but I was wondering if you would want me to dance for you.”

When Sweets seemed to ponder your question in silence, you took it a step further. Lightly, you brushed your hips against his in time with the song, gazing up at him with hooded eyes and parted lips. Sweets’ eyes widened as the realization of what you meant sank it. You watched his Adam’s apple bounce as he gulped, nervousness creeping up from your belly. Finally convincing yourself that you fucked up, that he didn’t want you and would shut you out for good, you shrank away from him, the words I’m sorry just beginning to escape your trembling lips. Before you could slip away and fade from existence, Sweets grabbed you, pressing his fingers lightly into your hips. You snapped your head to find his normally calm eyes beginning to darken. He immediately closed his eyes as a deep flush spread across his face, nodding quickly. Relief flooded you, as well as a new kind of nervousness. You took a deep breath to calm your nerves. You could do this.

With every beat of the music you pushed Sweets gently backwards until he sat in one of the observation chairs. You took another deep breath, going back to all the nights you practiced to this very song. Only this time, you actually had your dream audience sitting before you, darting his tongue out to wet his plush lips. Closing your eyes, you ran your hands across your hips, allowing your muscles to loosen up as you swayed. As the song picked up so did your hips, beginning swirling motions as your hands continued to travel across the front of your dress. Sweets audibly gasped as you lightly cupped your breasts, his eyes tracking every move of your fingers as they deftly kneaded the soft flesh. You knew you had to keep him on his toes, wanting more throughout the whole routine, so you stepped around the chair, trailing your hand across his shoulder and throat as you moved around him. He tried to turn and follow your movement but you turned his face back to the empty room with a light touch against his jaw. His breath shook as you leaned against him from behind, just barely pressing your soft chest to the back of his head. You giggled at his reaction, ghosting your hands down his chest through the thick fabric of his hoodie.

“You wanna take this off for me, baby?” you cooed into his ear. Sweets nearly smacked you in the face as he rushed to throw the hoodie across the room. A laugh escaped you even as you tried to cover it with your hand and Sweets turned around at the soft sound of it. He smiled sheepishly, eyes crinkling at the corners. You leaned around to press a quick kiss to the heart on his his warm cheek and he immediately whipped his head back to the front, the blush from his face beginning to creep down his neck.

The song kicked up a notch as you made your way around the other side of the chair. You spun before your captivated audience in a slow, tantalizing twirl, running your hands from your breasts all the way back to cup your ass through your skirt as you turned your back to him. By the time you turned back around to face him, hands trailing down your thighs to lift the dress’ hem up a little, Sweets had leaned forward in the chair, elbows resting on his knees. You paced toward him with an exaggerated walk, reaching forward to press him back into the chair. Nudging his feet a little further apart, you stood between his legs, rotating your hips toward him. Sweets’ hands shot up, stopping to hover on either side of your hips. He looked up at you, dark eyes searching for the permission to touch you.

“Hold on to me,” you whispered to him. His strong fingers kneaded your soft hips as he pulled you closer to him, pressing his nose to the soft curve of your belly. You let out a breathy giggle and carded your hands through his curls. He let out a quiet moan at that, encouraging you to continue. The song on your music drive changed and the beat became slower, deeper.

You gently grabbed Sweets’ face, pulling his head further up your body as your hips swept in bigger circles, almost brushing against his chest. He buried his nose between your breasts, pressing a soft kiss to the skin your dress exposed. A high pitched whine left you and you pulled his hands up to your chest, lowering yourself into his lap. Every touch he gave you sent chills down your spine; hundreds of butterflies bursting from your stomach fluttered across your skin, exploding into stardust in your eyes. You raked your nails lightly across his scalp and down the back of his neck, finally settling on the thin fabric covering his chest as you swirled your hips against his. Sweets arched his body into yours, groaning softly at the contact. He pressed kisses up your throat as you continued your smooth movements, reaching up to pull your face to his. You pressed your forehead to his teal bangs, nudging your noses together as you closed your eyes. This night could not have been more perfect in your mind. Your whole body shuddered as Sweets ran his hands lightly up and down your back, settling again at your hips.

“Can I kiss you?” he breathed against your lips, voice quavering.

Maybe this night could be more perfect. You leaned forward to capture his lips with your own, keeping your hands against the back of his neck to press him to you. Sweets moaned into your mouth, shuddering as you fully ground down into his lap. Yes, this night was about to get even more perfect.

#sweets x reader #clone oc #clone oc x reader #clone x reader #clone trooper x reader #jangofctts #sunburst squadron #not my oc #my writing #clone wars #clone wars fanfic #star wars the clone wars #sweets #hint of spicy for ya #friends to lovers #clone trooper

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eldritch-bf · 3 years ago

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WoF: The Dragonet Prophecy (Books 1-5) Review

Note: I will be judging these books as what they are (i.e. a book series for 8-12 year olds) and not for what they aren't.

Warning for spoilers (obviously).

Praise:

My biggest praise is that the story flipped the "chosen one" trope. Though it took four books, we learn that the prophecy is all made-up. No one is special. And yet, they complete the prophecy anyway. They end the war even though they aren't destined to because they try and I really like that message for kids--that you don't have to be special or "chosen" to change the world.

I also really liked that there was an in-world explanation for the prophecy. A lot of stories will just toss a prophecy in from an old book or a legend and leave it at that. But the explanation that NightWings have the gift of prophecy (which is sorta true i.e. Darkstalker + Moon Rising, which I haven't finished) allowed me to enjoy it much more. I normally won't touch any "chosen one" stories because it always seems to me like the author is saying "I have no idea why you should care about my protagonist other than You're Supposed To".

I also loved that there was a political and underhanded reason for the prophecy. The story repeatedly shows how the different dragon tribes have their own motivations behind their actions, including who they decide to back in the war. It's a great way to explore that concept.

I love that the societies are matriarchal. You rarely see that in fantasy and for a kids book I love it. Its so refreshing.

It was great that the gender split with the main cast was 3-2 female-male; normally it is overbalanced in favor of males so that was nice.

(More Below Cut)

In the beginning of each book, the species guide is specifically "A NightWing's Guide" which deliberately includes false information (that all/most NightWings have telepathy and can see the future) and excludes known/little-known information (that RainWings are venomous). I like the narrative explanation for misleading the readers. And, maybe it's too subtle for kids to fully comprehend, but it plays on the idea of bias in research, especially with the five dragonets reading scrolls which were mostly written by NightWings and therefore exaggerate their own powers and downplay RainWings for their own political reasons. I definitely think the target audience will pick up on at least some of that.

I liked that none of the dragonets wound up getting the blood families they wanted. Clay doesn't even really have parents but he has a bunch of siblings, and Glory found a brother and a great-something grandmother; Starlight is probably the worst off with his dad basically being a Nazi scientist and having a dead mom; Sunny probably got the best deal with a kickass mom and a dad that is still alive and very nice if depressed and lost. I like that the dragonets chose to stay together after they "fulfill" the prophecy. That's what families do.

I love the different societies, customs, and social structures in the different dragon tribes. I am very endeared to the MudWings having sibling-based families w/o parents. Though I am uninterested in the militarism, I still like it because its different. No one culture felt like a carbon copy of the other.

I'm pretty soft for the crushes/budding romances the dragonets have, even if I have certain issues with them. But I definitely really like Tsunami/Riptide; it's a very complex relationship and I love the class difference; I'm also soft for the drama of Clay/Peril, with him being one of (if not the only) dragon who can touch her without dying; I also like that, at this moment at least, it appears Clay isn't aware he has any feelings for her, or doesn't have any at all.

I am a big fan of the canon one-sided Starflight/Sunny because Sunny takes the majority of her own book to decide how she feels about it and tells him she does not reciprocate. I love that he finally gets the courage to tell her, and she eventually rejects him, and they still stay friends. He accepts that she doesn't feel that way about him, and sure it hurts him, but that's okay. I love that not every relationship in this story is reciprocated and that it shows kids they can still be friends with someone that rejects them/they reject.

I do like that the characters make their crushes their last priority. Yeah, Tsunami likes Riptide, but she 15 million things she needs to worry about, several of which involve death. The characters never lose sight of their goals and the story doesn't derail into their crushes.

Criticism:

(So far) Sunny is the only main character who does not have a potential partner she is being shipped with in canon, and half of her book was still about a potential relationship w/ Starflight. I am endeared to most of these budding romances but I really wish not every main character had to have a romantic element to their story.

I am somewhat soft to Glory/Deathbringer but I do dislike how rudely she talks to him. That's my only real complaint. I love that he's a smartass and couldn't go through with killing her but I think she's too rude to him and it's treated like a joke too much.

This is only half criticism but some of these deaths are very violent. But the reviews are all great for the book on Amazon and I don't hear teachers or parents trying to ban these books for violence so maybe this is an acceptable level of violence for this reading group. Obviously as an adult I don't care but every time a dragon had their throat ripped open or their head cut off I was just baffled that this is a kids' book. But, if it was truly such an issue, I'm sure the publisher would have toned the death scenes down. So that's why its only half a criticism.

I thought it was a bit repetitive that all three female dragonets wound up either inheriting a throne or becoming in-line to inherit a throne.

I understand there's a particular level of nuance to many of the Queens, but I really wish Queen Coral's eugenicist ideology was criticized more? (It was a very minor detail; she offhandedly mentioned one of her stories that's a "metaphor about class differences and genetic superiority". If they're not going to acknowledge it, and keep on having Tsunami defend her mom ("stupid SeaWings, already having a good Queen" when complaining that Glory needed to overthrow the inept RainWing Queens), then it shouldn't have been included. You can't drop something that gross without confronting it. Maybe they do later, I don't know.

Related, I wish the books would criticize monarchy. Maybe in the later books they do, but all they do is criticize the individual monarch and not the system itself. Sunny could've made the SandWings elect their new leader (not that I don't love Queen Thorn) but instead she perpetuated the system of inherited power.

I know this is stupid, and its simply a pet peeve, but RainWings aren't really venomous. They don't sink their fangs into dragons and inject them like snakes would; they spit a substance at them that melts their fucking scales and eats their flesh which would be acid. It just reminds me of that "if it bites you and you die, its venomous; if you bite it and you die, it's poisonous" meme. If it spits on you and you die, its acid. I want kids to know the difference between poison, acid, and venom.

Feel free to comment in the tags/replies what you loved/hated the most! I really want to discuss the first five books with other people.

#wings of fire #wof #the dragonet prophecy #wof spoilers #wof 1-5 #wof the dragonet prophecy #spoilers #book reviews

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watching-pictures-move · 3 years ago

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Put On Your Raincoats #28 | American Babylon (Watkins, 1985)

Roger Watkins spent most of his career making pornos, something which he apparently hated, and in American Babylon he turns that hatred directly at the audience. The movie is about two bozos. Losers. Schlubs. One of them, played by Bobby Astyr, spends his days doing little but watching pornography, oblivious to his surroundings and annoyed by interruptions. When his wife steps in front of the projector, he grouses at her to get out of the way. "Evaporate, Joan!" The other, played by Michael Gaunt, is weak-willed, easily goaded into doing or saying anything, whatever is the path of least resistance. Neither Astyr nor Gaunt are what you'd call conventionally attractive, and combined, they are some of the least flattering portraits of masculinity to grace the screen. I read somewhere that the popularity of unattractive men in straight porn is to help the target audience relate more easily to the proceedings. Watkins brings into focus the implied contempt in that trope.

As someone who spent a non-zero amount of time over the last year delving into vintage pornography, this movie hit a little close to home. When Astyr starts critiquing the camera angles in the movie he's watching, I felt personally attacked. Astyr's choice of entertainment here is in the form of plotless reels with titles like Teenage Pigmeat in Heat, a film by Bernard America, and Butt Girls in Bondage, directed by Hank Packard (which sounds like a dig at Henri Pachard's pretentious porn name), and starring Lonnie Lee as the Butt Girl. Astyr appears to be getting off on their dehumanizing quality ("Hey Robert, I just realized something. They don't show anybody's faces in this movie." "Of course not, it's so much better that way, it could be anybody.") The reels are shot in cold, sterile black-and-white, their mise-en-scene (power tools, gym equipment) suggesting a parody of masculinity. (I admit I was a little concerned when the male performer was firing a blowtorch in the direction of the female performer while they engaged in sexual congress.) Watkins had been steadily removing any sense of warmth or eroticism from his sex scenes, but also seems aware of the limitations of this approach (especially when you cast a performer like Taija Rae, sporting a lady mullet, hubba hubba). His critique seems targeted at the genre as a whole, which despite the level of artistry it can contain (and I'm very much on the side of pornographic films being artistically worthwhile), is ultimately in the service of prurient interests, but in retrospect, feels prescient of the kind of gonzo pornography that would become the norm in the decades that followed. There's no need for plot, character, warmth, humanity, just body parts mashing against each other. That Astyr is seen usually in a raincoat and motorcycle helmet drives the point home.

Gaunt's character is depicted just as brutally but with a bit more humour. This is a guy whose most strenuous decision in his marriage (and source of tension with his wife) is whether or not he'll drink his milk. (His wife, seen topless and in panties and heels, in a skewering of genre demands, leaves him an angry note: "P.S. Drink your milk".) Astyr's wife, played by Tish Ambrose, in need of the kind of intimacy she doesn't get from her husband, sees Gaunt as an easy mark and sets up a rendezvous at a country western bar. Their exchange and her attempt at seduction are telling.

"You strike me as the kind of guy who's good at taking orders."

"Yeah, I guess so, my wife thinks so anyway."

"You want something to drink?"

"Yeah, I guess so, my wife thinks so anyway."

"I'm not wearing any underwear."

"I beg your pardon."

"The only thing separating skirt and my quivering pussy is a layer of air. What do you think of that?"

"Me? I don't know what to think."

Gaunt reveals a talent for physical comedy with his gawking, indecisive face during their tryst, his slapstick-like scramble out of his clothes, his dash with an empty cup as part of his excuse sneak out for another tryst ("I told my wife I was coming over to borrow a cup of sugar"), and his nervous patting of strap-on before he excuses himself out of a threesome. One encounter occurs when watching a porno with Astyr, who seems entirely oblivious to what's going on right beside him but also happy to have them around. ("My best friend and my best wife, finally taking an interest in my one true passion.") Their attempts at bonding seem self-defeating from both directions, as when Astyr tries to initiate a heart-to-heart, it's not clear how truthful Astyr's tale of young love or his recollection of a threesome that sounds suspiciously like one of his movies and the one Gaunt partook in. ("They were sisters, Thomas, sisters! That's what they told me afterwards. They might have been lying of course, It's human nature to lie.") When the visual style switches over to those of his movies, the indictment is complete, but in the final ten minutes, the movie finds something of an emotional core with a montage (Menopausal Males in Bondage) that recontextualizes the proceedings from Ambrose's perspective, while dissolving the boundaries between Astyr, Gaunt, and their porno movies. A beret and checked coat, first sported by Taija Rae, helps provide a visual throughline.

While I won't deny that the kind of masculinity exemplified by the protagonists, while flawed, feels a lot more benign than the kind of toxic masculinity that's been the focus of modern discourse, the laser focus of Watkins' indictment makes the movie work. Where the movie is less cogent but admirably bold is in situating its protagonists and their pathetic suburban existence as some kind of endpoint for American civilization. The opening credits have illustrations of historical images, evangelical radio is heard on and off throughout the movie, and after the aforementioned montage, the film closes with "American the Beautiful". In a brief but forceful sequence, we hear news of Lee Harvey Oswald's murder by Jack Ruby, Walter Mondale's acceptance speech at the 1984 DNC ("Mr. Reagan calls it "tokenism". We call it America.") and the bombing of North Vietnam, while Gaunt's wife (seen again in the nude, to sate the horndogs) fires a shotgun and the screen cuts to black. Watkins produces a passage from "The Harlot's House" by Oscar Wilde to drive home the sense of finality. ("The dead are dancing with the dead, the dust is whirling with the dust.") The protagonists' suburban homes are presented effectively as purgatorial spaces, captured in cold, isolating cinematography by Larry Revene, who had collaborated previously with Watkins on Corruption and Midnight Heat. Like the latter, I watched this in a not very nice video-sourced transfer, although it didn't seem quite as detrimental here (aside from the terrible audio quality, which made Gaunt's whistling sound like nails on a chalkboard). The look of the movie is effectively sterile, with a heavy reliance of moody bluish lighting that comes through even in a less pristine copy. (I understand that this didn't play theatrically, so I'm willing to limit my complaining.) It's also worth noting that while not detrimentally so to the film's overall argument, I did find Astyr's porno movies stylish in their way, and that I was not immune to the charms of Taija Rae, particularly with the beret and lady mullet I alluded to earlier. Folks, I'm not made of stone.

#film #put on your raincoats #movie review #american babylon #roger watkins

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dailyjasontodd · 4 years ago

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sorry if this has been asked before but what about titans tv jason is ooc? just curious because i don't watch the show (i got thru 3 eps of season 1 and then gave up lmao)

Okay we got two questions in this vein, so each of the admins replied one with our own thoughts. Okay, i’m not good at putting my thoughts into words so you’re gonna have to bear with me here lol

If anyone wants to share their own thoughts on this, feel free to reply or send us an ask, we’re interested in you know sparking some convo and all that.

Okay i’ve talked about my main issue for Titans!Robin Jason here on my own blog, tl;dr i think they took elements from Jasons robin run without the context it came with? Titans Jason comes across as angry and aggresive “just because”. actually there isnt a tl;dr just read the post SORRY

Jason was 11-15 years old when he was robin, which i know it seems like something very minor, aging up isn’t a bad storytelling tool, done right it’s fine etc etc, but in Jason’s case i feel like it actually took away from his story? Like, by aging him up they made his character more “mature”, with elements that simply weren’t found in jasons original robin run when he was just a child. Titans Jason feels more like they’re trying to portray n52 red hood jason rather than robin jason, which.. isn’t a good thing! Because again context matters! Red hood jason is a certain way because certain things happened to him, and by trying to copy and paste that personality into robin jason without those reasons it loses any kind of nuance it could’ve had. And im pointedly saying n52 jason which we all know is real jason’s tethered, so they’re giving us knock-off n52 jason when n52 jason was already on the sale display

Honestly titans robin jason is just new 52 red hood jason without anything of what actually made him red hood. and the fact that they’ve already hinted red hood jason WITHOUT ANYTHING! ANYTHING that made him become red hood pisses me off a little, ngl.

(like he literally became red hood as a fuck you to bruce, and in the show neither the joker nor bruce are important characters??? AND THEY SHOULDN’T??? BECAUSE ITS A TITANS SHOW???)

which brings me to!

while jason was a titan, he wasn’t a MAIN titan, and he should’ve NEVER gotten this much focus. He’s a batman character, his entire story depends ENTIRELY on batman, BRUCE being present. and when you take that away it may as well be an oc. Jason and Dick weren’t even that close in Jason’s robin comics, it just doesnt make senseeeeeee, if anything he was closer to Donna! and if you watched the show you probably saw how Donna hated Jason’s guts! And anyways back on track, why is red hood going to be the villain for a TITANS show when he’s only ONCE, EVER had a villain appearance for them??? And it was during Tim’s era?? And imagine if Tim does appear, why would Jason be mad a thim when HE decided to go away? DOESN’T! MAKE! SENSE! Why are they going out of their way to include Jason somewhere he shouldn’t be more than a guest appearance on? He should be Dick’s annoying yet endearing little brother and that’s it...

And honestly genuinely i despise how they portrayed Bruce as not caring about Jason at all... again, Jason’s relationship with Bruce is the heart of a lot of his storylines.. centering Jason’s story around the titans rather than Bruce.. yeah you may as well have created an oc.

Honestly if i watched season 2 again i could be more specific on stuff titans did that it was like just. seeing some dude named jason, but it’s so bad.. just so bad.

Anyways. If i took away the robin costume i would’ve NEVER guessed thats supposed to be Jason tbh. Like, honestly, do you see these panels and think “Oh yeah it’s like looking at titans Jason”

Honestly to summarize it, our friend @redarrow sent this to our groupchat a few days ago and i think it’s pretty relevant to the conversation:

Titans, along with almost every story that contains Jason is once again reiterating the narrative that Jason was a bad robin and that he was inherently bad. “His trauma didn’t make him red hood, he was always destined to become a villain/anti hero.”

At the end of the day, these grown adults decided that it would be okay to violently kill off a child in a comic that children read. A character that was specifically made to target a younger audience. Instead of dealing with the consequences of their actions, they try to justify it by retroactively making Jason evil. What really makes me mad is that robin was created for children, and the moment they make a child character have a realistic background to an extent, they basically say there’s no hope for you.

#Anon #jason todd #asks #mod post #UM THIS MAKES NO SENSE SORRY. im not good being articulate lol sorry #mod opinions

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gayenerd · 3 years ago

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I just realized I didn’t post that 2007 Rolling Stone article I posted about here.

Billie Joe Armstrong

The Green Day leader talks Bush, Britney and being a middle-aged punk for our 40th anniversary.

DAVID FRICKE

Posted Nov 01, 2007 8:19 AM

You have two young sons. What kind of America will they inherit?

This war has to finish before something new blossoms. There's no draft — that's why none of the kids give a shit. They'd rather watch videos on YouTube. It's hard to tell what's next — there is so much information out there with no power to it. Everything is in transition, including our government. Next year, it's someone else in the White House. There's no way to define anything. It's Generation Zero. But you gotta start at zero to get to something.

Is there anyone now running for president who gives you hope for the future?

Barack Obama, but it's a bit early to tell if this is the guy I like. I get sick of the religious-figure thing. People don't question their rulers, these political figures, just as they don't question their ministers and priests. They're not going to question George Bush, especially if he goes around talking about God — "I'm going to let God decide this for me. He's going to give me the answer." The fear of God keeps people silent.

When did you first vote in a presidential election?

In 1992. I was twenty. I voted for Clinton.

Did you feel like you made a difference?

Yeah. The Eighties sucked. There was so much bullshit that went along with that decade. I felt like Clinton was a fresh face with fresh ideas. There were times when he was dropping bombs, and I'm thinking, "What the fuck are you doing?" But he became a target. We have this puritanical vision of what a leader is supposed to be, and that's what makes us the biggest hypocrites in the world. We got so inside this guy's sexual habits. Now we have a president going around, killing in the name of what? In the name of nothing.

What did you accomplish with your 2004 anti-Bush album, "American Idiot"? He was re-elected anyway, and the war in Iraq is still going on.

I found a voice. There may have been people disenfranchised by it. People have a hard time with that kind of writing: "Why are you preaching to me?" It does sound preachy, a bit. I'm a musician, and I want to say positive things. If it's about self-indulgent depression or overthrowing the government, it's gotta come from my heart. And when you say "Fuck George W. Bush" in a packed arena in Texas, that's an accomplishment, because you're saying it to the unconverted.

Do you think selling nearly 6 million copies of that album might have an effect on the 2008 election? A kid who bought it at fifteen will be voting age next year.

I hope so. I made it to give people a reason to think for themselves. It was supposed to be a catalyst. Maybe that's one reason why it's difficult for me to write about politics now. A lot of things on that record are still relevant. It's like we have this monarchy in politics — the passing of the baton between the Clintons and the Bushes. That's frightening. What needs to happen is a complete change, a person coming from the outside with a new perspective on all the fucked-up problems we have.

How would you describe the state of pop culture?

People want blood. They want to see other people thrown to the lions. Do audiences want rock stars? I can't tell. You have information coming at you from so many areas — YouTube, the Internet, tabloids. Watching Britney Spears the other night [on the MTV Video Music Awards] was like watching a public execution. How could the people at MTV, the people around her, not know this girl was fucked up? People came in expecting a train wreck, and they got more than they bargained for.

She was a willing conspirator. She didn't say no.

She is a manufactured child. She has come up through this Disney perspective, thinking that all life is about is to be the most ridiculous star you could be. But it's also about what we look at as entertainment — watching somebody go through that.

How do you decide what your children can see on TV or the Internet? As a dad, even a punk-rock dad, that can make you conservative in your choices.

I want to protect them from garbage. It's not necessarily the sex and drugs. It's bad drugs and bad sex, the violence you see on television and in the news. I want to protect them from being desensitized. I want them to realize this is real life, not a video game.

The main thing I want them to have is a good education, because that's something I never had. Get smart. Educate yourself as much as you can, and get as much out of it, even if the teacher is an asshole.

Do you regret dropping out of high school?

Life in high school sucks. I bucked the system. I also got lucky. My wife has a degree in sociology, and there are conversations she has — I don't have a fucking clue what they're talking about. College — I could have learned from that.

But I was the last of six kids. At that point, my mother was fifty-eight, and she threw up her hands — "I'm through with this parenting thing." Also, I could not handle authority figures. But I wouldn't say I'm an authority figure for my kids. I provide guidelines, not rules.

What is it like being a middle-aged punk? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?

It's about the energy you bring with you, the pulse inside your head. I want to get older. I don't want to be twenty-one again. Screw that. My twenties were a difficult time — where my band was at, getting married, having a child. I remember walking out of a gig in Chicago, past these screaming kids. There were these punks, real ones, sitting outside our tour bus. One girl had a forty-ouncer, and she goes, "Billie Joe, come drink with us." I said, "I can't, I've got my family on the bus." She goes, "Well, fuck you then." I get on the bus, and my wife says, "Did that bitch just tell you to fuck off? I'm gonna kick her ass right now." I'm holding her back, while my child is naked, jumping on the couch: "Hi, Daddy!" That was my whole life right there — screaming kids, punks telling me to fuck off, my wife getting pissed, my naked son waiting to get into his pajamas.

There's nothing wrong with being twenty-one. It's the lessons you learn. At thirty, you think, "Why did I worry so much about this shit?" When I hit forty, I'll say the same thing: "Why did I worry about this shit in my thirties?"

What have you learned about yourself?

There is more to life than trying to find your way through self-destruction or throwing yourself into the fire all the time. Nihilism in punk rock can be a cliché. I need to give myself more room to breathe, to allow my thoughts to catch up with the rest of me.

Before Dookie, I wasn't married and I didn't have kids. I had a guitar, a bag of clothes and a four-track recorder. There are ways you don't want to change. You don't want to lose your spark. But I need silence more than I did before. I need to get away from the static and noise, whereas before, I thrived on it.

Are you ready for the end of the music business? The technology and its effect on sales have changed dramatically since Green Days' debut EP — on vinyl — in 1989.

Technology now and the way people put out records — everything comes at you so fast, you don't know what you're investigating. You can't identify with it — at least I can't. With American Idiot, we made a conscious effort to give people an experience they could remember for the rest of their lives. It wasn't just the content. It was the artwork, the three acts — the way you could read it all like someone's story.

Is music simply not important to young people now the way it was to you as a kid?

People get addicted to garbage they don't need. At shows, they gotta talk on their phones to their friend who's in the next aisle. I was watching this documentary on Jeff Tweedy of Wilco [Sunken Treasure]. He was playing acoustic, and he ends up screaming at the audience: "Your fucking conversation can wait. I'm up here singing a song — get involved." He wasn't being an asshole. He was like, "Leave your bullshit behind. Let's celebrate what's happening now."

We need music, and we need it good. I took it very seriously. There's a side of me where music will always send chills up my spine, make me cry, make me want to get up and do Pete Townshend windmills. In a lot of ways, I was in a minority when I was young. There are people who go, "Oh, that's a snappy tune." I listen to it and go, "That's the greatest fucking song ever. That is the song I want played at my funeral."

Now that you've brought it up, what song do you want played at your funeral?

It keeps changing. "Life on Mars?" by David Bowie. "In My Life," by the Beatles. "Love," by John Lennon.

Those are all reflective ballads, not punk.

I disagree. They are all honest in their reflection. The punk bands I liked were the ones who didn't fall into clichés — the Clash, the Ramones. The Ramones wrote beautiful love songs. They also invented punk rock. I'd have to add "Blitzkrieg Bop" to the list.

What is the future of punk rock? Will it still be a voice of rebellion in twenty years?

It's categorized in so many different ways. You've got the MySpace punks. But there is always the subculture of it — the rats in the walls, pounding the pavement and booking their own live shows. It comes down to the people who are willing to do something different from everybody else.

You are in a different, platinum-album world now. What makes you so sure that spirit survives?

I'm going on faith — because I was there. Gilman Street [the Berkeley, California, club where Green Day played early shows] is still around. And that's a hard task, because there is no bar — it's a nonprofit cooperative. It's like a commune — this feeling of bucking the system together, surviving and thriving on art. Punk, as an underground, pushes for the generation gap. As soon as you're twenty-five years old, there's a group of sixteen-year-olds coming to kick your ass. And you have to pass the torch on. It's a trip to have seen it happen so many times. It gives me goose bumps — punk is something that survives on its own.

#article #interview #articles #billie joe armstrong

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gwens-projects · 4 years ago

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Day 19 - Theme Memories

So I’ve been around this fandom for a long time, not as long as some people, but since TPOM was still kicking out episodes. Today I’m going to talk about some of the memories I’ve made through this fandom.

Under a read more because this is going to be long.

I remember first when I was really small getting to watch Madagascar when it first came out. It was very blurry and pixilated because it was on one of those cam copy discs that my dad had brought home. It was fun, I liked it, but didn’t think anything about it really. The same happened with Madagascar 2 a few years later, and then after that I got my first exposure to TPOM when dad had a disc with the When I was a Penguin Zombie ep collection on it. I’m pretty sure I watched that disc on repeat for weeks in the car, I loved it but had no idea there were like actually other eps I could watch anywhere else.

Years after that, somehow I managed to catch the Return of the Revenge of Dr. Blowhole on TV actually in the midst of all the singing, we almost turned the channel but I was amazed that there were more eps than what I had seen before and we watched what was left of the episode.

I’ve never been someone who easily makes friends. I’m very quiet, nervous, and rather weird. 8th grade I made my first decent friends, and then at the end of the school year both transferred away to different schools. I was about...15 maybe? and I was crushed. I had never really noticed how lonely I really was until then, and so I started watching some shows on youtube I remembered I liked but never got to watch every ep of...Kim Possible, Lilo and Stitch, the Smurfs....I was looking for something Smurf related online when I accidentally discovered fanfiction, specifically Smurfs fanfiction that I thought was actually like a canon Smurfs book. This led me to exploring fanfiction a little more and then I accidentally come across some TPOM oneshot (written in Spanish that my computer translated) about Private? It reminded me that oh yeah the penguins was a show I liked as a kid, so I looked it up and started binging those eps.

Watching those eps, I honestly felt the least alone I had felt all summer. Private was my first comfort character and at the time I found him super relatable. I also started reading a few TPOM fanfics. Season 3 still had episodes coming out and so that was pretty exciting. That August I started writing my first fanfic, A Trixy Situation, and drew my first fanarts. I also consequently made my first OC.

I look back at that first fanfic and the reviews I got and all I can think is “People thought this was good?” But at the same time, if it wasn’t for those kind comments back then, I wouldn’t be the writer I am now. A Trixy Situation wasn’t just my first fanfic, it was the first piece of written fiction I ever wrote and FINISHED. People’s kind comments spurred me to write and for the first time I really felt like I was writing for a purpose AND having fun with it. I was over the moon.

Granted, I did get my first critiquing review a few fics later, and as much as I cried over it...I will admit, it made me a much better writer. I still wish they had phrased it differently though.

Through fanfiction as well I made my first fandom friends. One of which I still keep in contact with even now 7 years later. She became my first best friend that I could truly say was my best friend and I wouldn’t have made her except through this fandom.

When I transferred schools from private to public in 10th grade, TPOM eps and writing TPOM fanfiction got me through it. It was...a rough 3 years of my life. I had 0 offline friends, but I had that one very good online friend who I would sneak chats to through a google doc during lunch and class breaks.

I remember when AHKJ came out and I’d have to stay off of tumblr because tumblr mobile wouldn’t let me tag and block spoilers and GEE WERE THERE SO MANY SPOILERS POSTED.

January 2016 I gave roleplaying a try and made a slew of Private_Private_Penguin rp accounts across multiple platforms. I made a few connections and associates then, but none really stuck. However, I had a lot of fun rping as Private until the rp community more or less went silent.

Junior and senior year of high school and the first couple years of college, I was too busy and stressed to think of TPOM much. Then I noticed a new up-springing in TPOM rpers again. I watched a few eps and this time around realized that I really, really related to Kowalski now....Far more than I ever related to Private in the past. Granted, in the past I was kind of driven away from Kowalski because the fandom was so...well, let’s just say there were a lot of rapid Kowalski fangirls where it made me nervous to even approach the character. Private didn’t have as many fans so he was calmer to have as a favorite. But modernly, the Kowalski hype had died down and I finally felt at ease finding him as a comfort....I also think the age old “disliking a character until you realize there’s a lot of yourself in that character and that’s why you dislike them” theory applied to that as well...because he and I do have a lot in common, personality wise.

Anyway, through the new round of rping as Kowalski, I made some new fandom friends and through them was exposed to new fandoms and experienced a new love for the series as a whole. I also was introduced to new ship ideas and got new headcanons....And then I got back into writing fanfiction. My friend who rps as Blowhole, they got me into the Franski ship...Our rping was a slow burn enemies to friends to Kowalski muse having a crush on Blowhole. It’s a fun thing to look back at the old rps like “oh Kowalski started liking this ship before I did.”

After I got back into fanfic writing, I made yet another friend who IMed me about my writing and since then I’ve been co-writing with her on her fic. I also discovered a discord group where I ran into several fanguins who I recognized were around the fandom back when eps were coming out as well and I just sort of felt...at home? It’s the best way I can describe it. It was new but familiar all at the same time. Did we all share the same ships and headcanons? Heck no, but with such a vague canon that’s understandable and completely fine. It’s interesting seeing the different ideas and such and the joint enthusiasm we all have for this franchise.

I’ve recently started watching A Little Wild...Admittedly, I’m struggling with it but for its target audience, it would be a great intro into the franchise, honestly.

I have so many memories from this franchise and its fandom, some bad, but mostly good. And now I just will take this moment to thank both the franchise and the fandom for the memories and comfort its given me through the years.

#2020madagascarparty #tpom #the penguins of madagascar #penguins of madagascar #gwen speaks #long post #2020 Madagascar party

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fae-fucker · 3 years ago

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Review: There's Magic Between Us

by Jillian Maria

A diehard city girl, 16-year-old Lydia Barnes is reluctant to spend a week in her grandma’s small town. But hidden beneath Fairbrooke’s exterior of shoddy diners and empty farms, there’s a forest that calls to her. In it, she meets Eden: blunt, focused, and fascinating. She claims to be hunting fae treasure, and while Lydia laughs it off at first, it quickly becomes obvious that Eden’s not joking—magic is real. Lydia joins the treasure hunt, thrilled by all the things it offers her. Things like endless places in the forest to explore and a friendship with Eden that threatens to blossom into something more. But even as she throws herself into her new adventure, some questions linger. Why did her mom keep magic a secret? Why do most of the townspeople act like the forest is evil? It seems that, as much as Lydia would like to pretend otherwise, not everything in Fairbrooke is as bright and easy as a new crush…

I received a digital copy of the book in exchange for a review.

And here it is! Nearly a month late because I’m bad at time :)

But hey, that means the book is already out and you can go get it! Wee!

Also, here’s my review of Jillian Maria’s other book, The Songbird’s Refrain.

This review contains no spoilers aside from stuff that you can probably assume from the blurb, such as the existence of the fae and magic. Duh. Anyway, onward!

So, I’m gonna be straight with you fam, not that I can be anything else, but to spare any potential author their feelings and maybe prevent them from reading the review, not that that would happen, I hope:

This book was not for me.

Now, that doesn’t mean it was bad. Far from it, I think it’s pretty much exactly what it’s advertised as and anyone who thinks they might enjoy it will defo enjoy it. It’s a polished work of art that’s professionally written and presented, on par with and often above a lot of traditionally published stuff, and if you want a fluffy magical sapphic YA romance, this is for you.

But it wasn’t for me. Or, at least, I don’t think I’m the target audience. I enjoyed reading it, don’t get me wrong, but my enjoyment was always lukewarm, like I wasn’t quite getting the full experience. And that’s more on me than the book.

I won’t structure this review the way I usually do, mainly because I feel like my problems with the book are all intertwined and stem from the same source, which is ... I’m not sure? Genre? Target audience? Intent? All of the above?

The writing still carries the same sort of easy-to-read style that was present in The Songbird’s Refrain, though the main characters’ voices are obviously vastly different.

Overall, I liked the writing on a technical level, and I’m once again impressed with the author’s ability to avoid swear words, though Lydia is a bit more of a potty-mouth than Elizabeth was.

Lydia has a clear personality and voice, and one of my problems is that maybe it was a little too clear at times.

I know how that sounds, but it could be a side-effect of the book’s target audience being teens. Both Lydia and Eden have extremely defined and spelled-out character arcs. Lydia is too reckless and spontaneous and needs to chill, Eden is too chill and calculating and needs to let loose. A fine concept in theory, a good mirroring for a romance, but here, its execution feels a bit like a checklist? It’s basically spelled out for us how one influences the other, the character acknowledge their own flaws and at the end note how the other has changed them for the better, rounded them out. It didn’t feel very natural, and I thought it would’ve been better to leave that stuff implied since it was already pretty obvious.

It doesn’t help that both Lydia and Eden are far, far too mature for any sixteen-year-old I’ve ever met. They both recognize and acknowledge their feelings as irrational and apologize exactly for what they’ve done wrong, which sure, maybe is feel-good and a positive influence upon a teen reading this, but for me just felt a bit unrealistic. My favorite part of the book was when Lydia and Eden had a fight and Lydia stomped off all pissy and Eden refused to apologize later. It showed them being teens, individuals, idiots, flawed people who are growing up and learning to deal with their emotions. And then it’s somewhat undercut by them both having perfect apologies afterward where they know exactly what they did wrong just based on intuition? Like, complete with “here’s what I did wrong and why that was bad of me.” Idk, maybe JM was a better person as a teen than I was.

I really can’t say a lot about the other characters. The heroes of the story were all defined and had motivations and flaws of their own, while the antagonists were either a faceless mob, a faeceless mob (get it?), or just a dude who shows up in the last chapters and then is immediately dealt with. Compared to the antagonists in TSR, these guys felt a little underwhelming. They were set up from earlier in the story, of course, but their inclusion still felt a bit last-minute instead of a natural progression and integration into the fabric of the story.

And, again, I get it. This isn’t about the villains or that conflict. This is about the love story and the familial bonds and everything else comes after. Which is fine, but not something I personally found very compelling.

I think my favorite character was Eden, because she was cranky and awkward and flawed to a degree that felt right. She made mistakes but had her reasons, she was unlikable at times, and she felt grief and remorse.

I also liked Lydia’s mother, who, despite being in fear or pain for a lot of her on-page presence, still loved her daughter fiercely. She felt a lot like a real parent, even if her and Lydia’s relationship was a bit too saccharine for me to fully get behind.

Now let’s talk about the plot, or rather, the pacing, which was my other big problem with the book. The first third is very slow, my dudes. It may have contributed to why it took me so long to finish the book, a lot of it is just Lydia faffing about. The book is very light on magic stuff in the beginning, and it would’ve been fine if it didn’t do a whole 180 at the end and turned into a low-fantasy menacing mystery, complete with the vague threat of a human-fae war. I would’ve liked to have seen less Lydia and Eden faffing about and more of that magic plot, and while I understand that the focus of the first third was character-building, it still could’ve been done with a more balanced spread of plot vs character interaction.

But here’s where my personal tastes cloud my judgment. I’m not a young teen, so maybe I don’t see the value in more compassionate and understanding teen characters who could serve as role models. I’m not a WLW, so maybe I don’t see the value in two girls faffing about looking for a magic stick in the forest. I’m not a fluff-enjoyer (whatever the proper word for that is), so maybe the universally loving and positive characters just don’t land as well for me.

I can’t say that I hated this book, because I didn’t. In fact, I really enjoyed the latter half of it. I thought the fae were cool and interesting and felt disappointed there weren’t more of them in the story. Despite my grumbling, I do still appreciate what the book tried to do with the comfortable and loving family relationships between the characters and their relatives. I can see how this could help other readers and make them feel seen or perhaps soothe them when they don’t have the same thing in their lives.

I can see what this book was going for. I respect it, and I respect the work and effort and love put into it. It oozes from every word like a warm, sweet sludge.

But I’m covered in goop now. And my hands are all sticky.

This wasn’t for me. But maybe it can be for you. If you want to read a sweet, magical and well-written gay YA romance, this is for you. It was specifically made for you, made for someone who craves this but doesn’t see enough of it. This book is important for what it represents and for what it is. And I hope with all my heart you love it as much as it deserves to be loved, as much as it loves you for reading it.

#book review #book recs #there's magic between us #TMBU

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