#anyway enough of this madness i need to sleep
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proud inventor of the resting bitch face
#i'd say he's nice he just looks like this but he's only nice to exactly 3 people#anyway enough of this madness i need to sleep#i got out of bed at 1am to listen to ethel cain and decorate like a lunatic#but if you dont see the influence her music had on whatever i post of this save then ive catastrophically failed my job at the vibe factory
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I really want to know how Lilith Sorrengail feels about trying her best to get her youngest daughter away from whatever it was that her dad supposedly found in the Archives after Brennan 'died', just to get said daughter even more involved with the tyrrish rebellion two: electric boogaloo.
#fourth wing#ngl my first thought reading the book was 'oh shit she Knew brennan wanted to use his sis as a scribe informant for the rebellion the same#way he maybe used his dad and she was like hell no and put her in the riders quadrant to get her brainwashed that navarre is right instead#so that she doesn't end up dead like spy-scribe dad and his questionable research into ward magic'#but then i thought about it more and decided i wasn't giving papa sorrengail enough credit bcoz he was Up to Something and got got for it#personally if my entire family was lying to me abt my big bro being alive i would lose my shit. that being said i find it incredibly funny#that everyone who knew violet best were like 'she finds out venin are a thing and she WILL do A Stupid out of righteous fury'#not A Stupid like smthn dumb; A Stupid like lead the entire scribe quadrant to a bloody revolution against Navarre Babel-style#I can't wait for this series to finish publishing so I can sit my ass down and plot out a scribe-revolution-leader-Violet AU#it can even be a viden secret arranged marriage. as a treat. because we need to merge the two rebellions of course#where is tiern in all of this? he got stuck babysitting teen andarna who is Super Mad her rider is a scribe. The Audacity! Navarre Will Pay#teenage dragon shenanigans occur. Scribe Violet bonds two dragons in front of her whole year. they're in the underground scribe library.#how did two enormous-ass lizards get in? nobody gives a shit. all scribes are too sleep-deprieved to care about distinguishing between#real life and halucinations. the dragons stay in the library. they get sat on because it's cold underground and fire lizards are Warm#command tries to find out if smthn weird is happening in the scribe quadrant but at this point every single one of them is in the rebellion#they have 600yrs of misinfo to correct. venin to dissect. what dragons? in the library? don't be ridiculous they'd burn the books#anyways i got carried away but library cats!tiern and andarna#kei writes
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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Sometimes venturing onto the For You side of Twitter sparks joy.
Based take. Shoujo and Josei are fucking top notch, both in characters and art style (how can you not think they’re beautiful?)
“Ruined the JJK and MHA fandoms” is WILD. I avoid fandoms for the most part (except perusing tumblr for the occasional fucking thesis women write about character motivations i love you women <3) because they usually suck. Seriously, I kept up with OPM for a bit because it was entertaining but holy shit the subreddit (very much full of men) is literally just… sexy woman. More sexy woman. Memes about artist constantly drawing sexy woman. Memes. Occasional power scaling arguments. Low quality page colorings of the exact same page. There is NOTHING. How the hell can women ruin the fandom when the fandom IS the women?!
It’s the women creating in depth analyses on characters; it’s the women writing fanfiction, creating doujinshis; it’s the women creating fandom centered accounts; it’s the women buying every new merch piece that comes out AND giving free advertising by posting about it online. And then men will go on and rag on women for doing all these things. It’s infuriating.
Longevity of a series is also something these idiots ignore. Seriously, look at Katekyo Hitman Reborn. The manga ended in 2012 and the creator is working on a different series. Katekyo Hitman Reborn still gets regular merch releases. This is a series that ended over a decade ago and still has an incredibly dedicated fanbase of, I wonder who, that regularly spends enough money to keep it consistent. You cannot look me in the eyes and tell me that series is supported mainly by men. I do not care how hard Amano Akira tried to alienate her female fans with her treatment of the female characters you know exactly whos spending the money based on who is constantly getting merch (minus the titular character, because of course he has to be there.)
Honestly I don’t give a damn that fandom can often be absolute insanity; you get a group of people together and it’s always going to be a shitshow, that isn’t unique to fandom, people just like to pretend it is because as always, there’s an undercurrent of misogyny because people know women carry that shit but they only want to acknowledge it when they can use it to criticize them.
I love that she came for the JJK fandom as well. I’ve been following the series because honestly it is really fucking funny because it is the epitome of shounen tropes. The author literally baked them into the world. Explaining your abilities to the opponent makes them stronger. So this entire series you get giant pages of just white with text explaining every little fucking thing like theres a narrator standing over your shoulder making sure you can’t possibly miss anything on the first read. Fuck dude, I don’t mind exorbitant amounts of text in my manga, but you cannot be serious in pretending that is good writing. There’s a deus ex machina that every character can pull out of their ass called a binding vow. Black flash also falls into this category.
Hell, the latest arc has literally just been flashback after flashback playing during the battle of the characters forming a bunch of plans in preparation for the fight we currently are following. This is genuinely one of my most hated tropes. The characters just get off screen power ups that then get handwaved as “well we showed you the flashback right?” there is NO anticipation, any excitement you feel for the battle is purely manufactured rather than genuine. It’s not “I can’t wait to see how the growth I followed of these characters affects the battle” it’s “wow, what cool ability will they pull out of their ass next?” I hate it I loathe it and it’s even worse with emotional moments. Why couldn’t you write this into the story in the first place? Why are you giving it to me in a shitty flashback?
Maybe I didn’t explain it well enough because I launched into a rant. The reason I hated it so much is because it forced the reader to be an observer rather than an active participant in the manga. Everything is spoonfed to you. You don’t need to reread the chapters over and over to put together the pieces on how, where, and why each action took place, the author does that for you. You don’t see everything from a new perspective when you read it a second time, catching lots of things you may have missed because you’re not allowed to miss anything the author deems important.
I enjoy this manga. There is good things about it. But it is nowhere near the god manga (“kamige” would be the term if it was a visual novel; I don’t know a manga equivalent) men like to pretend it is. It genuinely seems like they think everything being explained every page is good writing.
Based and succinct.
Anyway, you shouldn’t restrict yourself from experiencing specific genres because they’re for “the lessers” because that’s actually fucking cringe and maybe you should touch a Josei manga, or even a Shoujo manga. Maybe it’ll open your eyes and you’ll realize, hey, women’s media is actually- oh who the fuck am I kidding just pull the trigger.
#taking the bait and getting mad about things that dont matter dot rtf#i would genuinely love to write actual well thought out well written and well researched essays on the shit im into#but going on barely edited rants is easier and gives me those feel good chemicals faster#i started this with twitter sparking joy then proceeded to go on a rant about how much hate fills my heart#i hope my ranting is at least somewhat coherent because my thought process is incredibly scattered right now#i also rant about JJKs writing because i was going to do that one of these days anyway but i read my sleeper activation phrase in a tweet#basically im mad at how much men ignore womens contributions to the series they claim to enjoy#no evidence is ever good enough for them either#you have a japanese study showing the sex division for a popular series has an even 50:50 split?#it doesnt fit the exact parameters that i believe it should! (angry mention about ‘the gays’ when they werent even brought up)#also yeah im sure when theres an even amount of both women and men watching something ONLY the men actually contribute right#ask me about my opinions i dont bite ;^)#also i need a nap because i have been awake far too long hello insomnia#was about to go to sleep then i was provoked and had to fight (opened twitter and then rant on a blog out in nowhere)#goodnight (its noon)
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#vent#vent post#cw negative#Seven’s Public Diary#wish i wasn’t so fucking worthless and useless and stupid and selfish and mean#i am just so goddamn sick of my own bullshit. but i never change#i’m so tired of being weighed down by my 56492 mental illnesses. i don’t like being like this#my sleep schedule is so fucked up again and im tired of this constant cycle#this constant fight and endless effort to stay on a goddamn routine#all i want for christmas is a goddamn consistent sleep schedule#i hate sleeping through the day and being up all night but it’s like my body was fucking built for that or something#i don’t like it!! i want to be an early bird who goes to bed at 8pm and wakes up before the sun rises!!! but im the exact opposite!!!!!!!#i wish i just didn’t need to sleep at all. that would be the ideal. so many problems would be solved.#no i Really wish i just had the ability to fall asleep and wake up whenever i actually Want To instead of my body calling the shots#fell asleep at 9 this morning and im so mad that i didn’t get up when i was woken up at 11#a 2hr nap would’ve been fine and i would’ve made it through the rest of the day and been able to fucking sleep again tonight#but noOOooOoOo i had to give in to the allure of my warm cozy bed and fall back asleep for 9 more goddamn hours#now once again im too awake and rested to be able to go back to sleep. but once morning rolls around im gonna be exhausted again#and i’ll either give in and attempt to take a ‘nap’ and it’ll turn into a 12hr sleep again#or i’ll have to like. walk laps around the fucking house just to keep myself awake through the day#and i’ll be super irritable as a result and make everyone around me miserable too#but everyone is already beyond fed up with my issues and behavior. rightly so i guess. so i lose either way#god there was so much stuff i was gonna/supposed to do today#i don’t know how much longer they’re gonna put up with me being such a deadbeat#you think that’d like. motivate me to get my shit together or something but no. i’m addicted to being unconscious i guess#sleep feels so fucking good. until i wake up. which is funny bc it’s all nightmares and stress dreams anyway. why do i even enjoy sleeping#i guess bc for the first few hours after waking up i experience some modicum of relief from my other mental illnesses’ symptoms#like a soft reset.#and it’s the Only thing that gets rid of my migraines so god forbid i get one of those bc then i Have to sleep regardless of the time of day#anyways! :) that’s enough whining for one vent post. time to go do something productive
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Do you think if I wish hard enough my mom will get electrocuted by a string of Christmas lights and just go up in a cloud of smoke. It’d be a Christmas miracle
#I’m not even DOWN THERE YET and I want to fucking KILL HER#I have to work Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. I live four hours away from my family#I told her this MANY TIMES I said I’ll drive down after work on Christmas Eve be there Christmas morning but I need to leave by 3-4 to get#home at a reasonable hour so I can have time to unpack/catch up on a couple days of chores/get plenty of sleep#she called me last night and told me she didn’t schedule Christmas stuff until SIX PM#and when I said why tf did you do that I’m not staying that late#she got mad and upset and was like ‘it’s the only time everyone is free :(‘#BUT THEN proceeded to tell me we were having lunch with her HUSBAND’S family at noon#(ppl I am not close with never have been literally don’t talk to)#and everyone I know is like ‘just leave when you said you were going to anyways’#and like yeah I could but then my family is gonna be ENRAGED that I didn’t do Christmas stuff with them#and they’re like ‘well explain that your mom didnt listen to when you said you needed to leave’#but the thing is. no matter what. they’re going to take her side#I should sacrifice my time and comfort to spend time with them because they’re FAMILY#never mind that literally not a SINGLE ONE OF THEM has EVER come up to visit me#IM always expected to drive down there. but that sacrifice doesn’t count it’s not good enough#but if I stay that late I won’t be getting home until AT LEAST midnight or later#cuz my family has no fucking concept of time so if it starts at six that means it doesn’t ACTUALLY start until 7 so most of them might be#there by 8 so I’ll be expected to stay until at least 10 to sufficiently catch up with all of them#I’m going to scream I’m going to cry#if I leave early I’m the awful ungrateful terrible bitch who never comes to see any of them#but none of them could adjust their days by just a few hours to see me before I needed to leave#FOR MY FUCKING JOB !!!!!!!! SOMETHING COMPLETELY OUT OF MY CONTROL#and like the thing is. my piece of shit manipulative bitch mother#I KNOW she did this on purpose#I know she didn’t plan this until six to FORCE me to stay longer because she was mad I wasn’t staying long#(again… because of work… something I can’t control)#so she’s orchestrated this to put me in this position#where I have to suck it up and stay and be exhausted and have tired migraines for a week cuz I get only a couple hours of sleep and then#or leave and make everyone pissed. I hate her so FUCKING much
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entering day five of having covid for the third time and i am starting to feel like a rabid animal trapped in a small cage
#i am going to start snarling and pacing in circles at this rate#i have just been oscillating between sleep stare at screen read book have snack aaadnnnnd shuffle and repeat#and i am at the point where my brain is still foggy but i have enough lucidity that it's getting very boring and annoying#and i'm mad that i had to miss three consecutive days of work and might have to cancel my plans to visit my parents this month <3#(two of those days were time and a half days that i really needed)#(also my copy of tabinof is hopefully at my parents house somewhere and i would like to find it)#anyway...rambling over i guess#personal
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give me the strength not to google covid teeth rn lest i spiral into a Health Anxiety Meltdown about it during the night
#toy txt post#i mean. im sure i will anyway. i already am#they feel so bad and i have covid it must be related etc#but i dont need anything i can Latch On To you know???#anyway i had a fucking telehealth today to discuss paxlovid and i fucking SLEPT THROUGH IT#I WAS TRYING TO NAP FOR LIKE AN HOUR NOT GET THE MOST RESTFUL SLEEP IVE GOTTEN IN THE LAST LIKE 4 DAYS#ARGH#I SET MULTIPLE ALARMS AND THEY EITHER DIDNT GO OFF OR THEY DIDNT WAKE ME AND IDK WHICH#im so mad#anyway#to comfort myself my current theory is that my nose being so stuffed has me breathing through my mouth more while awake and asleep and its#drying me tf out + all the meds that are also drying me tf out#ive been taking like 2 showers a day im like a fuckjng frog rn. i want to just live in the steam#my bedroom has been like. 50%+ humidity too like#im drinking so much water#anyway. sent a message to the dr begging to reschedule. asked mom for special extra sensitive for super weenie babies toothpaste.#called out of work for the rest of the week. when mom is done showering ill go again and hopefully be calm enough after to take a benadryl#and go to sleep instead of stay up all night panicking#my sleeping has been so bad despite my efforts#covid#ugh
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harry wanted to be a poet and kim's got a skill that is likened to the process of writing poetry. i am going to go rattle my bones off into the ocean.
#aiden's monologuing#ailbde#ailb#it's been a while since i've sunk my teeth this hard into something#i knew it would happen it's why i put off playing it. i knew it would change me irrevocably#that skill helps against the pale. it probably has something to do with kim's meticulous notes#they could've been something else. something better for them both.#harry also wanted to study the pale.#the alternate meetings... i can see them. completely different game if that had happened#not sad enough i suppose. not worn down to the nubs enough#as fun as meetcutes are they don't give enough to chew on for me. need something to shake around violently#i'm so curious about the pale. and how it intersects with building hope in a place that has lost it#there's this whole metaphysical layer to the game's world that can be mostly ignored and that's. so much#and the warning that in 20 years it may all be gone.#but you have to keep living anyway. ghh#alright enough. reading and sleep time#oh one thing i got so mad when dolores said harry might take 20 years to move on. in 20 years he will be dead if something doesn't intervene#in 20 years the city will be gone if something doesn't intervene#i'm not putting my eggs in the pryce basket but i am curious what his plan is. if it's inevitable.#if a sequel would be with him or against him. or something else entirely. and what that would ultimately mean
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the kpop space is so tiring
#m.💬#was gonna leave this as a tag on my last post but nah#there’s always some kind of drama#I do not concern myself with that shit#I just woke up from a nap to so much information and I am overwhelmed#love being someone who doesn’t include myself in drama honestly#I’m depressed and angry enough about living as it is#I don’t need that added stress#don’t get me wrong I’m a nosy bitch and I’ll figure out what’s going on but then I walk away#I’ll just be listening to my music yall can be mad about whatever you want don’t mind me#but I’m basically a shadow and invisible so no one minds me anyway 🙂#I’m on my period don’t take what I say seriously#also still post nap/sleep hazy#got rid of the ‘and petty’ part bc I don’t think that’s the right word#and it’s tiring in more ways than one so that descriptor is good enough
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me omw to never sleep over at another persons house ever again
#ongod man#i cannot sleep at another persons house and stay sane the rest of the night#a. i’ve pavloved myself into only sleeping when i have the fan on#b. ew the texture of the bed no stop it gross aaaa#c. ?!? this isn’t my safe room#anyway i never even intended on pavloving myself#im so mad#god damnit#txt#fucking monkey brained myself into a corner for who knows how long#textures noises and vibe of the room is wrong#never let me stay at another persons house#when i move out i am living alone if possible#i don’t give a shit how small the place is i will survive#because it only needs to be big enough for me#MY PHONE IS ON 20% NOOOOOOOO
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Post-recovery Summiya concept sketch :)
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness#original character#more like mid recovery but same difference#I think she deserves a cathartic hair cutting scene after 35 years of not being allowed to control any part of her own appearance#and also her hair is completely fried by constant straightening so it needed to go anyway#and now her natural curls are coming in :D#in my view she chops most of it off herself and then Mekhali evens it out a tad#not too much since it being messy is kinda the point. but enough that she doesn’t suddenly start mirroring Zaheer’s bird nest#hey. you know what’s really apparent to me now?#just how much Nazra takes after her dad’s side of the family#like. that’s Nazra hair. almost exactly the way I draw it#meaning she takes after her aunt and grandmother in this regard#hey Kat. if you’re reading this. can we at some point discuss Summiya and Aiza in the Ultimate AU?#I assume things work out the exact same way for them as in the original verse#Aiza/Emran joins the acolytes. Liba and Abyan join them 15 years later. Summiya has her breakdown. etc etc#but since the RL aren’t imprisoned.. there’s a chance they could reunite with Zaheer earlier. right?#and Summmiya and Aiza can get to know their niece?#idk. I’m a little soft for that idea#and hey. they’d get to meet Lien-Hua too!! the RL sisters club is finally together#that makes me think that maybe.. the Ultimate AU can have a better ending in store for Haya as well#I don’t want to water down literally everyone’s character for the sake of softness but.. fuck it. I ache for Haya too#in a better world things would be different for her. in a different world she’d mend her relationship with Ghazan#and would be a good if emotionally distant (she really doesn’t like kids) aunt to the girls#and the RL sisters club will be complete!! unless you count Meifeng I suppose#but anyway. you know what I think? Haya’s queer but is ridden with internalised homophobia#it’s so bad that she’s not even aware of it. and I think she and Summiya should fuck nasty about it#<— things unhinged people running on little sleep with a pounding headache say at 1 a.m. please ignore me (I mean. unless…?? 👀)
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If you're driving on a two lane road and the road ahead of you is empty and the road behind you is a line of cars, please know that you are in fact the problem, and you really need to pull over and let them pass you. My commute is 30 miles of 2 lane roads on either side of a 20 mi highway stretch and yall fuckers make ny commute vary by a magnitude of twenty goddamned minutes. Not a single one of you is doing the speed limit (it's 50 the ENTIRE way, yall do 35-40). When I already log 3 hrs minimum on the road everyday I really don't fucking need it to climb uo to four hours. And no, I can't just move closer to work, because housing crisis. You can drive whatever speed you want to but for the love of God do me the courtesy of allowing me to do the same.
#Well I'm#Passing cars too!!!#I wouldn't even be mad if people even did the limit. But they DONT. On roads that USED to have higher speed limits!!!#The only reason the limits went down is state regulation on population density and speed limits. Not because we literally ever had any#Fucking accidents out here#Then again every time this happens and I'm either late to work or late home#It's a fucking bmw or audi or *gags* a cadillac or mercedes or some other car that costs more than 50k#Like yeah I get that you're loaded and work 20hrs a week for 1.5mil a year but some of us have to actually work and commute in the world#You're ruinning. Anyway if you see a line of cars behind you and think “lmao oh well. Sucks to be yall” I hope a rage roader totals your ca#Because you're a fucking inconsiderate assholr and that is the LEAST of inconvenience you could have happen to understand what you do to#People. Like seriously fuck you. Same for if you're going slow in the left lane and don't get out of it to let people pass. No you're not.#Larger hazard than any individual speeder actually poses. Someone flashing their brights frim behind you isn't a personal attack on#Your character that's them saying “hey man come on. Get over. It'll be easier for us both”#And you know what? I dont even say this as someone whose always the fastest on the road. I get passed FREQUENTLY all the time and I'm movin#Between the left and center lane constantly (with my blinker and checking my mirrors and blind spots).#I'd *like* to be out in front of traffic but if someone is mov8ng faster than me then they're moving faster than me#Letting them over is the polite and CONSIDERATE thing to do. Because who fucking knows! Their mom could be dying in the hospital or some#Shit and they need to be there NOW. It's not your job to police them.#It's literally so easy to just be considerate on the road and no one does it.#Which is FUCKING CRAZY because considerate driving eases traffic congestion! There's less harsh breaking and tailgating and it allows#Cars to move fluidly AND it's means every car is on the road for as little time as possible#Which is ultimately the ONLY way to ease congestion - removing cars from the road#Idk yall just be nice. It's so fucking stressful to do 35 down a 50mph road after a 12 hr day with 2 hrs of chores ahead of me and not#Enough time to get them done unless I cut into my sleep time.
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opening my drafts to see the vent post i made earlier but saved bc I had more to say but had to go do smth else and umm. probably for thr best I didn't post in the end but also I stand by that I was right to be pissed off🧍♂️everyone shut up
#sometimes i wish i was petty enough to pick fights over shit like this but ik it would have literally no impact whatsoever#but god. wish sometimes certain ppl would THINK before they SAY STUPID SHIT THAT ANNOYS ME SPECIFICALLY!!#i need to be more vague on here when i get annoyed at shit bc it dilutes it a lot and then i feel less mad abt it n can let it go#not that i usually hold resentment abt things. but i AM residually kind of frustrated and irritated with a lot of ppl currently#bc of certain situations + bonus unrelated stress im experiencing in my life thats making me extra frazzled n grumpy#so!!!!! dont piss me off is all im saying 😤#okay finishing moving these files and then ill brushnmy teeth and straight to bed im soooooo tired#didnt sleep well last night bc so much shit to think abt. but hopefully tonight will be better bc i did a ton of important admin#so its like 90% resolved now i just have to wait on a couple other things#i hope i have energy after work tomorrow to do some resistance training since i didnt get to go to the gym today :-(#wish id got to hang more w my flatmate before she leaves for her holiday.. tbf i did talk to her a fair amt n i always wish it was longer#just feel like i havent rly gotten to talk abt much going on in my life atm w anyone. not even necessarily serious convo#just like. general update on the big things rn. the med bullshit. my brothers rental problems. what ive been watching n reading..#finding it hard to start conversation in the discord bc i feel like the last couple times ive tried to talk ive been mostly ignored#so i give up im just the replierrrr ill contjnue conversations but know my place i guess 🤷♂️#anyway... brrrr my brain is cotton wool#brushimg. my teeth#.diaries
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#extremely fucking exhausting day . god#woke up at 5am couldnt fall back asleep . had to get groceries but apparently i didnt do it Fast enough so my dad got mad#(not Angry he was just annoyed but . still)#and then my cat had a problem w her legs & she was walking really wonky and didnt let us touch her . a bit scary . shes alright tho i think#then . god so much studying . at least i tried but AUGHHHHHH I DONT WANNAAAA#but i tried for like 4 hours . then i had to stop bc concert#and i was actually excited !!!! but it was kinda meh . super short and i knew way less songs than i expected#the opener was rlly fun tho . but my body was already fucking killing me 15 minutes in i haaaaaate chronic pain soo muuchhhhhhhhhhhhh#anyway . it was Fine#end of my day was rlly nice tho :3 but thats about it . but i love my friends#will i pass this test tomorrow ? who the fuck knows#first i need to get an actual fucking night of sleep once#ugh . anyway . sorry for the rant . no im not#s.txt
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not me forgetting i switched shifts with a coworker and showing up an hour early for work ✌️😌
#i am so stupid#better than an hour late tho#in a way im making back an hour of the time i took off for tomorrow for my doctor's appointment#but i missed an opportunity to sleep for an extra hour that i really needed lol#i love working closing shift bc i dont have to be in until 8:30 but im always middle shift on monday so i didnt even check 🤡#ugh#also a baby fell out of my lap when i was stopping another kid from pulling a different kids hair and the baby cried sm#and later he got a little bloody nose probably from that 😭#gonna kms#hopefully nobody is mad at me abt it but im so upsettt :(#we were sitting on the floor so he didnt fall that far and i kind of expected him to catch himself with his arms when he shifted#but instead he faceplanted :(#he's old enough to crawl and is almost walking so i literally didnt think he could have been hurt until he was :(#but i literally had to stop the hair ripping immediately bc that kid pulls super hard#but i should have taken the two seconds to move the baby from my lap to the floor#but i honestly didnt even expect him to leave my lap when i leaned forward i thought he would lean forward a bit and be fine#anyway#i hate myself#i love the kids but this job is a bit stressful#its like being a lifeguard to 16 fragile humans with no braincells or self preservation instincts whatsoever#and we dont have enough teachers#all day long they try to eat rocks and climb things they shouldn't and push eachother off of the tallest stuff they can get access to#and also bite scratch pull hair etc#the most violent kid is thankfully moving up to the big kid class next month thankfully#he literally hurts the other kids all day long for fun#this has been a shitpost#anyway i still have to close even tho i showed up for middlenshift so its gonna be a loooooong day
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