i've been getting more into judaism after being raised jewish. i was never bat mitzva'ed, so im wondering if i should do that? also wondering what other steps to take.
Well, I have great news! You don't need to have a bat mitzvah, you are a bat mitzvah! If you would like the celebration, you certainly can have one, but it isn't necessary.
I didn't grow up with really any Jewish observance, so I was essentially a complete beginner when I decided to connect. So, my suggestions come from personal experience and the experiences of some others I know who are baal teshuva.
Some more steps you could take to foster a stronger relationship with your Judaism is first to reach out to your local rabbi, and see what events or classes their shul has going on. Showing up to these opportunities can open doors to figuring out what feels right for you, and I've found that making friends who are at a level of observance that you strive to be at can inspire you to keep learning. If you get in touch with a rabbi beforehand, they could probably arrange to have you meet with someone who can show you around and introduce you to people. While this can be really intimidating at first, believe me when I say that many Jews will be happy to help you and won't pass judgement. Many Jews have been in your shoes, you're not alone.
Or, you can pick a few different shuls and just go to each one until you find one that feels right for you. Don't feel pressured to commit to one over the other. Don't get bogged down by the labels of movements. If you have a personal goal in mind or a certain aspect of observance you want to do, just start doing it, even if it feels awkward at first. Over time, it'll be easier. Find some local study groups, or join one online! During quarantine I joined a Torah study group from a shul hundreds of miles away from me. They didn't care that I'd never step foot in their shul before, they were just happy to have a fresh face who wanted to learn. You could also try Partners In Torah, which is a website that can connect you with a chavruta.
Chabad is always a great option for those who are looking to deepen their relationship with Judaism because they always have resources specifically for people looking to reconnect.
If you live in a place with a significant Jewish population, you could find a Young Jewish Professional's group that can introduce you to more people.
I would recommend getting a siddur with Hebrew and English, if your Hebrew is shaky. I would also recommend starting to read the parsha every week, or starting the Tanach from scratch and reading it like any other book. I suggest The Living Torah and The Living Nach by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan because the translations are in modern terms and easier to read, and they have commentary by Rashi. I also can't recommend enough Joseph Telushkin's books Biblical Literacy and Jewish Literacy, they're incredibly comprehensive guides to living a Jewish life by forming a strong Jewish educational foundation. Seriously, I've mentioned these books a million times on my blog because I love them that much.
Also, you could just start small! Saying modei ani in the morning when you wake up, saying hamotzi or the birkat, or even just saying Shema before bed can be a great way to start the process of opening up.
This last recommendation might be a little out there, but I think that doing some traditional Jewish cooking or baking can help motivate you to keep learning. This is how I started. I bought a few kosher cookbooks and just started making anything I had the ingredients for. It's not necessarily a "standard" way to connect, but my soul felt like it was reaching through time and space and connecting with all the Jews before me who had prepared and eaten the same thing.
As always, if anyone else has suggestions for anon, the more the merrier! I want to express my sincere excitement for you. Enjoy the journey you're on, don't be so caught up on "but I wish I was more observant this way" or "I'm not Jewish enough in this way" because it's all nonsense. Reconnecting is an amazing and life-changing experience, so enjoy the path that you're on, not necessarily the destination. When I first started, I was so insecure about how much I didn't know and worried others would judge me, but I found most people genuinely just want to help. Learning was exciting, and in some ways I'm envious of all the new experiences you're going to have. I would have enjoyed it a lot more had I just relaxed and accepted that it's okay not to know things yet.
Good luck!!
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