#anyway does it eventually stop or is this gonna keep happening forever

[areyoudoingthis]

I'm so tired of having a mental breakdown every time a totally random and normal thing happens that could have been easily fixed by asking my parents for help

[ezra-editss]

Just watched X-men Apocalypse. What the hell.

Okay, so I kinda have a take on all this and idk if that's just how it feels to me, but that's what I wanna know. (I don't think this actually happened, but it's the vibes it is all giving)

So it started when I told my mom about First Class (keep reading I'm gonna get to apocalypse eventually) and we came to the conclusion that it feels like they wrote the script, looked at it again and thought:

"Hmm, this seems pretty gay.. Erik and Charles both have no female love interests and they have those lines that seem pretty romantic. Also, Erik seems almost obsessed with Charles at the end with how overprotective he is. Let's fix that!"

And then they gave both of them a kiss with a woman they weren't interested in and added the line "We're brothers, you and I" and then were proud of how well they "saved" it.

And then they made Days of Future Past and didn't even think of it, but when it came out they saw how people were shipping it and then they were like "oh shitt"

And in the first hour of the movie, I thought they were just doing all of this stuff to "erase" any potential gayness people thought there was and wanted to make sure nobody got the wrong idea about the recent movies. But it was more the reminder they like women, before the EXTREME GAYNESS in the second half.

(This is getting so much more unserious than initially intended💀)

Anyways, Apocalypse.

Either I missed something or Erik settling down and HIDING makes NO SENSE. In the last timeline it was 100% clear that he'd never stop believing in what he did, he would never stop fighting his war. So yes, this is a different timeline, but there is no reason given why he suddenly decides to try Charles way. He failed in Days of Future Past and Charles let him go, but there is no way that's enough. And they played this off like that isn't the thing they both wanted since forever and never seemed possible. Being on the same side. Erik switching to Charles side is insane, why wouldn't he talk to Charles in all those years then?

I can't believe they threw away everything that IS Erik, just so he had a reason to be angry enough to join the guy.

(They also died in such a weird/lame way)

And Charles and I still don't really know her name😭.. I have to admit the scenes where Charles was nervous were cute, but that's just because Charles is adorable. But in First Class she was obviously only there for the plot, in Days of Future Past, she wasn't even mentioned and in Apocalypse, she was, again, only there for the plot. She literally doesn't say anything the entire movie after the beginning. She has like two lines. And in the end fight, she's just standing there. And then Charles makes her remember and the flashbacks are soo bad, BC THEY HAD NO MOMENTS. (Especially bc you can compare it to Erik's flashbacks, we're gonna get to that)

(I don't think I have to say it, but to be sure. I have absolutely nothing against straight couples. I don't care if it's gay or not. But if one of them were a woman, I wouldn't be writing this. I just hate how often they prefer to write a heterosexual couple that has no chemistry at all instead of making the two guys/girls kiss.)

Let's talk about the ending. Sometimes when I talk about this stuff I'm a little worried that I interpret things wrong bc I want it to be like that and I'm not being objective anymore, but I was proven right so many times in this. When Mystique and Erik kissed in First Class, it felt really weird to me because Erik obviously had no interest in her. (I suppose it was to show her she's beautiful) And that was pretty much proven right when she talks to him and he barely reacts to what she's saying. I also thought that he probably didn't know Charles was dying, bc he wouldn't let that happen. Then Mystique says "Charles" and suddenly he does show a reaction and when she's gone, he has those god damn flashbacks. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T A ROMANTIC PLOT?😭 and then the specific one of Charles turning away and leaving him. (Could be a metaphor for Charles giving up on him) THAT'S WHAT GOT HIM.

And they make it even more clear when Mystique is dying and Erik doesn't react, but when Charles is dying, is when he steps in.

Ending was cute, but damnn the "you can make me do anything" was crazy.

(This turned out soo long, I've never been so obsessed with something.)

[kelogsloops]

putting this in the tumblr ask box bc idk where else to put it 🕺 does anyone even read these still

anyways i just woke up but i had a dream and you were a big part of it- i don’t want to say it was a nightmare or like a bad dream but like basically in the dream you announced that you would be quitting art and like retiring ig? it was for a few reasons but in that moment idk i just realized just how much you have had an influence on my life- you know that saying “you don’t know what you have until you lose it”? yeah…

honestly at first when i woke up i was so ready to call it a nightmare, like “oh my god?? you?? leaving?? forever?? noooo!” but as i’m sitting here awake now i realize eventually it’s probably gonna happen- maybe not in the way it was in my dream with you making a whole like announcement video and wiping your accs, but maybe quieter. i wonder if it’ll be that you stop making art, but i find that hard to imagine. i think it would happen slowly, less and less posts as the years go on. in my head even if you stop posting it, i’d think you’re still creating, making art for simply the sake of such. but then i think about how silly that thought is though, i don’t know you outside of your social media bubble. i don’t know your life and what happens there so to even assume something so quiet is pretentious of me. 

like i said, at first i thought it was a nightmare, i can’t bear the thought of you leaving one day- especially for the reasons you gave in my dream it was like “i gave up, arts getting too much for me, and things are so competitive now no one wants my art anymore…” blah blah blah. it was all my own stress as an artist manifesting onto you i think- but anyways i hope that should the day ever come where you do end up leaving your socials and whatnot, i can only hope that it’s out of your own accord and you do so because you want to, not out of pressure or anything like that. like i’m not saying i want you to quit or anything, but what i’m saying is if it happens i just hope it’s something that you chose on your own. i just don’t think i could ever stand that happening though without letting you know how much of an impact you’ve had on my life. 

i found your art when at a very developmental part of my life, so your work wether consciously or not i think has just become like a part of my brain wether conscious or not haha. whenever i go to draw even if i don’t explicitly go to look to your work for inspiration, it’s still there i can see it. it’s like just unconsciously ingrained at this point. but more than that though the whole idea of like “brb chasing dreams” and whatever and the whole idea that i feel you impart every time you share pieces of your journey as an artist to just keep going, i kind of stole that mantra for myself and started to tell myself that as well. even at my lowests, i’m still trying to follow that dream, even lost and i don’t know what direction i’m going in there’ll always be that dream as an anchor almost.

thank you for all that you’ve shared and thank you for being the biggest inspiration in my life. i know that’s quite dramatic to say, but i mean it in full honesty. whatever the future holds for you, i hope it’s kind. i hope you live a long life chasing all your dreams where at the end of the day, you’re happy. thank you. 

waking up to find a message like this in my inbox has me feeling t e a r y. it's reading stories like these and hearing how my work has impacted people that makes this all feel so surreal sometimes. the fact that people would even care if i stopped making art one day or just disappeared is crazy... i'm very fortunate!

i've resigned myself to the fact that sure, one day (but hopefully never) i won't be able to pursue a professional career as an artist anymore, but if there's one thing that i can promise, it's that there is no reality in where i stop making art!

i don't know if i show it enough, but to each and every one of you who have been part of my journey so far, thank you from the bottom of my heart. it's messages like these that pinch me and remind me how it's all so worth it

forever #brbchasingdreams

[wannabe-minion-of-chaos]

It's five in the morning I haven't slept and I come bearing a Chaos Theory au scenario. Prepare for angst

So hear me out here, hypothetical episode of this fictional show, it starts relatively normal. Chaos and Mysterion are doing their usual back and forth, Chaos and Disarray having some kinda plan and Mysterion trying to stop them, a normal Tuesday.

Until it isn't, a freak accident happens and Chaos accidentally kills Mysterion, idk let's say he accidentally shoved him off a building or something, it can't be anything too gorey

So in this au, Mysterion's powers basically work as they do in tfbw, the only exception being how he's revived. Every time he dies his soul is ejected from his body, becoming basically a ghost, and he has to either wait for his body to heal or completely regenerate to re-enter it and revive himself. And of course everyone would forget him dying as soon as he enters it again.

But back to the plot, Mysterion at first is just sort of annoyed I guess, not really upset at Chaos because who hasn't killed him at this point? And he's just gonna come back anyways so he's just gotta wait which is boring.

That is until he sees Chaos's reaction

Chaos is...not okay, despite all his plotting he never means to KILL Mysterion, hell he enjoys having to fight him, his plans wouldn't be the same without the vigilante coming to try and stop them!! Hell Chaos never means to kill ANYONE, he's a menace not a monster!!

At first he just thinks Mysterion is knocked out, trying to wake him up. Then he panics, realization slowly seeping in on what he's done, Mysterion is dead, he killed Mysterion. Disarray at this point makes his way over saying they have to go before someone finds them, it's very similar to his reaction when Butters froze Cartman in that one episode.

Eventually he's able to guide the now hysterically sobbing Chaos back to their evil lair™ (it's basically the same storage thing in canon just a bit bigger), Chaos is clinging to Mysterion's body like a lifeline, as if letting go would lose him forever.

Mysterion is...shocked to say the least. I mean he didn't expect Chaos to enjoy killing him or something but he's never seen someone care this much when he dies, let alone get genuinely worked up over it. In a way it's relieving someone actually cares but it's still hard to watch, even if this is his arch nemesis feeling this guilt and remorse over killing him. And he can't really do much of anything about it since nobody can see him in this state.

Disarray has no idea how to comfort Chaos at first, barely even being able to process this death himself, before he gets an idea. After convincing Chaos to let go of Mysterion he decides to go full mad scientist mode and try and reanimate him. Much to Mysterion's annoyance. Stop fucking with his body goddamnit he needs to get back into it!!

Throughout the episode Mysterion would keep trying to get back to his body only for it to be conveniently whisked away and he has to go follow it again. Some shenanigans ensue there providing some much needed lightheartedness.

In the end he probably just normally revives causing both Chaos and Disarray to forget, which of course is a bit more impactful to Mysterion given Chaos's reaction and how that's just erased now. But he does know at least someone would care when he dies now so that's a little closure.

If you made it to the end uhh thank you for listening to my sleep deprived rants (and please send me asks about other episode ideas I have so many of these/nf)

[casual-praxis]

Thinkin' bout Gas Station AU (name pending) ship shenanigans..

So, I've committed to Bluedow and background Vired, but I don't know how prevalent they actually are. I don't have a fic or comic in mind for this AU, so I have no idea if this is even relevant, but I have a few ideas in mind that might be interesting to share.

+ Shadow is initially drawn to Blue since he seems easy to mess with. Like, the dude ignores most supernatural shit he sees because he either doesn't want to acknowledge it, or thinks it's a prank--Shadow can't just not screw with him, right? It's practically the demon way.

It's not like Shadow's gonna get attached to any of these losers anyway. Nope. Nuh-uh. He's gonna follow Lord Vaati's plan for total town takeover and that's that.

Except, he didn't factor in Blue actually being...kinda fun to talk to. Like, he's still a weak mortal who could die at any moment should Shadow will it, but...their sense of humor overlaps, even if Shadow's is on the darker side now and again. They can both agree that Vio is the worst, which is great, because Blue doesn't even need to know Shadow's reasoning, he just agrees!

Blue also introduced him to this thing called "anime", at which point they both lost a whole day to watching this "Hunter x Hunter" show at Blue's house. It's fun. Blue takes Shadow's oddities in stride. He doesn't question why Shadow isn't familiar with most mundane mortal things, or judge his parasol when they hang out on their days off. He treats him like any other strange Hylian living in their strange little town (albeit with some jabs here and there about Shadow being really into larping), and it's...a little nice?

Totally not a crush though! Even if he does find Blue a little attractive--it's purely aesthetic! Who doesn't think the people they like (as friends!!) are nice to look at?! Don't be silly haha...

He's not subtle. And they were roommates.

+ Red and Vio are interesting in the way that I can’t tell if their dynamic is toxic, or weirdly wholesome. Like, you can’t really get around the fact of there being a power imbalance. Vio will presumably possess Red’s soul from now until forever unless something kills them both. Not to mention Vio being able to alter memories, but that's something Red seeks out at first.

It's a bit hard to summarize (I've had to stop myself from writing several paragraphs a handful of times now), but if I were to attempt, the path their relationship takes looks a little like this:

Red and Vio are mostly strangers to one another. Just coworkers with no strong opinions of the other.

Red dies, and Vio revives him, due to having a use for Red's fire-based soul (which is determined by a human's personality).

Red silently struggles through having no one to talk to about the fact he died, because no one even remembers it happened. To make matters worse, Shadow has now appeared, and Blue seems to gravitate to him more--so he's "losing his best friend, too".

Vio has been keeping tabs on Red, since Red is under his domain now, and decides to approach since the spiraling is getting worse.

Red feels incredibly conflicted on how to feel about his resurrection, but Vio stands by his decision, so Red requests that Vio make him forget everything, too. So he can try to pretend things are normal.

Vio can't erase Red's memory of his own death, since it wouldn't be possible to hide the evidence of Red being technically dead to himself. But he can erase other memories, to make things slightly easier on him. Though, overexposure would be a bad thing, and might have a few side effects (namely, becoming immune).

To make up for the fact Vio can't always erase his memories, he starts looking into other ways to try and make Red forget his struggles--without using his venom. This results in Vio putting a lot of effort into making just Red happy, to the point where they basically go on several mini-dates without them immediately realizing.

Eventually, Shadow confronts Vio about restoring Blue's memory of Red's death, so that they can patch up their drifting friendship, but Vio is reluctant since it might "break" Blue (to find out he accidentally got Red killed, found his mangled body, and then started to become distant after the fact). It does end up working out, but Vio didn't have much faith.

Red becomes happier with Blue now in the loop on supernaturals (and starting to fix their friendship), but is still insistent Vio keep paying attention to him (as if Vio would ever stop). He's realized his feelings for Vio are changing, but isn't quite sure what that means for them in the future.

Meanwhile Vio has just accepted that this human is now his human, and even if he doesn't really know how love works, he's willing to learn it if it means Red won't stray from him.

The dynamic continues to evolve from here, and all of this is pretty much "off-screen" since Blue (the main character) is out of the loop on it, but I think this wraps up arc 1 at the very least.

Will probably post more notes later, but this got a lot longer than I wanted it to be, whoops.

[rei-does-stuff]

I FINALLY DID IT!! I caved and made my first Squirrel and Hedgehog fanfic!!

It’s about Geum dying, fun right?

Since it’s a bit long it’s going under the cut but please do read it and let me know what you think!!

Haah…Haah…Damn it! Of course this would happen! Geumsaegi’s mind was a haze as he kept running. Where? He had no idea, anywhere away from where he was before he supposed. He was in so much pain, blood pouring from the gunshot wound in his chest. That’s right, He was shot! Mulmangcho shot him…He thinks that at least. Why…Why can’t he remember? Why was everything so blurry in his head?

All Geum could hear was the sound of his footsteps against dry leaves and his heartbeat echoing in his head like a drum. Was he being followed? For some reason his body wasn’t letting him do anything but run forward. Run, just keep running and it’ll be fine! He told himself, It’s gonna be fine…It’s always been fine! He’s been in worse situations and managed to get out and save Flower Hill right at the end! So why did it feel like the world was ending?

After what felt like hours his feet caved beneath him. It was a field, it looked similar to where Juldarami gave him chestnut cakes…Juldarami…Where was he? Was he still in Flower Hill getting treated? Was he okay? Geum still couldn’t believe he took a bullet for Bamsaegi…Bamsaegi!

Geumsaegi’s mind raced. Did he get him out of the gas chamber? Everything was such a blur now. He couldn’t be dead right? No, he’d remember that, surely, he wanted to get up, to check to see if he was alright but his body refused to move. Paralyzed!

Panic filled his head, his breathing got even heavier and his heartbeat sounded so goddamn loud. C’mon move! Move! You have to get up! You have to check on Bamsaegi! You have to make sure he’s alive! You have to save Flower Hill! Get up! Get up already! GET UP!

“Quiet. Shhh, quiet. Please…Calm down. It’s no use.” He heard a voice say, soft and soothing in a way yet…Familiar? Who was that…? It sounded like…

“Do you not remember me?” Goseumdochi! But he was dead? How—

“I am dead…I’m not actually here I’m just well…I guess I’m just you! Your head in a way, funny, isn’t it? The things our brains can do.”

If you’re here…Does this mean I’m gonna die?

“Probably. It was gonna happen eventually. You couldn’t stay lucky forever.”

Lucky? I wasn’t lucky, I was better. Better than the enemy.

“I find that hard to believe with the amount of times you almost got caught before, if you were really better then there would be no close calls at all.”

You don’t sound like Goseumdochi.

“Well that’s on you. Your brain clearly thinks it’s something he’d say.”

Silence, Geumsaegi was silent. He couldn’t lose hope, couldn’t listen to this stupid part of his stupid brain. His comrades would find him! And then everything will be fine—

“No one is coming Geumsaegi.”

Why are you trying to diminish my hopes? They will come!

“You know they won’t come. You don’t even know where you are. You’re losing a lot of blood, you can’t even move. No one is coming to save you Geum, and even if there was you’re too much of a liability. It’s over.”

It’s not over! Shouldn’t you be helping me calm down instead of this bullshit?!

“I’m trying but I need you to understand the reality of the situation.”

What reality? That I’m gonna die alone or something?!

“Sort of. Yes.”

Well aren’t you just a ray of sunshine.

“It’s not a bad thing…I died alone.”

You died defending Flower Hill! You had all of us behind you!

“Not really. I didn’t even really defend Flower Hill.”

Sure you did! You stopped the weasels ice canon!

“Sure but they had another plan anyways, really I just delayed things a bit. So did you.”

What are you trying to say?

“I mean, you’re just like me now, you didn’t stop anyone. Just delay things until the next soldier comes in to replace you.”

I wasn’t replacing you, I was finishing the fight!

“And you clearly failed. Now what? Juldarami is gonna take over? Bamsaegi if he isn’t already dead? But it won’t even matter because they’ll die too.”

So what? It’s all for nothing? Is that really what you’re trying to tell me right as I’m about to die?

“Well you always knew it. But it was just easier to keep fighting, to keep believing.”

So it’s all my fault then? I was just stupid enough to think I could make a difference?

“Well it’s not entirely your fault, you were manipulated, we all were. The commanders sure know how to talk. It’s so easy to think they’re helping everyone, that they’re better leaders than you could ever be.”

I messed up. I was too trusting of Uncle Bear.

“The commanders could’ve stalled the weasels for quite a while, but they chose to wait to teach you a lesson. So you could step down and join the army as retribution.”

…

“Hard to swallow isn’t it?”

I hate you.

“You don’t mean that.”

I do! I hate you! I’m gonna die and all I’m gonna hear is that everything I believed in was wrong and that I’m gonna die alone and no one is gonna find my body because I’m in the middle of goddamn nowhere!

Tears poked Geumsaegi’s eyes. He swallowed back a cry from his throat.

“It’s okay Geumsaegi.”

I wanna go home.

“I know Geumsaegi.”

I wanna see Juldarami.

“I know Geum.”

I wanna see Bamsaegi.

“I know.”

…I can’t really feel the gunshot wound anymore.

“Talking helps, doesn’t it? Even a little.”

I won’t make it, will I?

“No. You won’t. But it’s okay, you won’t be in so much pain anymore afterwards.”

I was really happy before this you know? Before I joined the military, I couldn’t even think about hurting anyone. But it’s so different now, I don’t even recognize that person from back then.

“Yes…It’s like you were two different people.”

A good person and a bad person…If there’s an afterlife do you I’ll go to hell?

“It’s a possibility. Do you think you’re a bad enough person for Hell?”

I killed a lot of people. I thought just because they’re weasels that they must be bad but…I didn’t really know. Those nukes, they probably hurt a lot of innocent people.

“Probably. And you were celebrating.”

Shit…I am definitely going to hell.

“You won’t be the only one. So you won’t be alone at the very least.”

You’re not helping.

“Sorry.”

…I hope Bamsaegi is okay. I hope he lives, gets to become a scientist like he wanted. I was a terrible father.

“He might try to follow your footsteps out of revenge.”

That scares the shit out of me. Why did I tell him all that stuff?

“You thought you were doing the right thing.“

And look where that took me. I just wish I could apologize, do better.

“At least you’re admitting it.”

Yeah, way too late.

“Better late than never.”

…

…

…

I’m really tired.

“Sleep.”

If I sleep I’ll die.

“I know. But it’s gonna happen either way, might as well do it on your own terms.”

But everyone else…It’s all gonna be so much worse now.

“You have to hope they’ll realize. They weren’t as intense about these things as you were.”

Yeah but if I die they’ll want to take revenge.

“Perhaps, or maybe they’ll realize how badly they’ve been tricked. You don’t know, you won’t know. So there’s no point worrying about something you won’t be able to control.”

I just wish I didn’t have to be alone for this.

“Then imagine you aren’t.”

It’s not real though.

“It’s not, but not much of your life has been real. What’s one more lie to help you sleep at night gonna do?”

Geumsaegi sighs and closes his eyes. Goseumdochi isn’t there anymore. He’s in bed. At home. It’s nice. A calming feeling washes over him, yet he still feels so tired.

“Geum! Geum! Wow you’re practically knocked out!” He hears a sweet voice say. It’s Juldarami, he looks happy. “Is dad sleeping?” He hears Bamsaegi say. He’s okay, he looks happy too.

“Guess he had a bit of a rough day, haha!” Juldarami laughs. He always loved his laugh. “It’s alright Geum, go to sleep. We can all talk in the morning.”

That’s right, they can talk in the morning!

They can talk in the morning.

In the morning.

In the…

In….

…

.

.

.

A pair of soldiers follow a trail of blood, and find a corpse by an open field.

A wild duck soldier frowns. “Oh, looks like we were too late.” He says.

“Damn,” the hedgehog soldier adds, “He was our best soldier too.”

[narzissenkreuz-ordo]

u kno im in deep with an oc when i already have complete narrative writing itself in my head

im trying to avoid anything that may or may not happen during the penacony questline bc ill have to adjust it in the end anyway

but i got a better feel for aster's character (while making a hot pocket in the kitchen at 1 am):

dead!aster = dead friend who shapes my OC's identity

fake!aster = my actual OC, who is just referred to as aster to other characters

dead!aster probably had some sort tragic background where their entire planet just [insert bad thing where dead!aster is the sole survivor] and is living afterward in absolute despair before becoming nihilitypilled.

and moments afterward theyre just like 'no im not accepting this' and goes through the process of radical acceptance and is constantly trying to find some sort of good or beauty or wonder in the terms of 'oh [insert dead family member/friend here] would have liked these flowers i will appreciate them in my friend's honor'

so by the time dead!aster and fake!aster meet, dead!aster is pretty kind and gentle

while fake!aster, before all this. is a pretty jaded memokeeper. she is not a cremator at all but is like 'when someone dies their memories are kept alive by their loved ones. but there will be a time eventually that not even the living will remember this one person. we are preserving these memories but theyll just sit here.... forever'

they were probably on their way to becoming nihilitypilled herself but the two eventually does find companionship in each other. trying to find a way to bring meaning back into the inevitable process of being erased once the living no longer can remember you

but then ofc dead!aster dies and fake!aster is abt to fuckin spiral out of control right into IX's empty void before coming to the realization that she can keep dead!aster's memory alive forever if she just wears their face & identity and can carry out their goals on her own

the timeline of dead!aster finding meaning in living for others and on their own death fake!aster does the same thing for them, in her own fucked up way

so i think it would be neat, that fake!aster wearing the skin of dead!aster covers up the fact that theyre a memokeeper. theyve probably deflected from the garden of recollection by now. but its fucked up and kinda manipulative that she fronts as this unassuming character but she can literally store and preserve memories. theres nothing stopping her from just Knowing the memories of those she comes into contact and feigns indifference

she is sure gonna gaslight gatekeep girlboss everyone on penacony [looks at aventurine]

[avalanchesumich]

mastermind!au

november 16

cam was deep into her book when someone knocked on her door. she looked up for a moment and decided to ignore it and keep reading, up until the person knocked repeatedly likw a mad man.

cam rolled her eyes and jumped down from her bed after marking her place in her book. she walked to her desk and grabbed her pepper spray. slowly she opened the door, and she so desperately wanted to slam it shut.

“taylor?” she gasped. “what are you doing here?”

“i came to see you of course,” taylor grinned. “you being my favorite sister and all.”

“i’m your only sister,” cam grumbled, watching how he peaked around cameron to look into her dorm. “i told you to tell me when you’re coming. he isn’t here, stop looking.”

“what kind of big brother would i be if i didn’t come unannounced?” taylor shrugged, walking into her room. “so where is he?”

“he’s in class,” cameron answered, smiling slightly. she did miss her brothers.

before taylor could respond, there were three knocks on the door before gabe entered.

“babe, you won’t believe what happened in class today…” gabe cut his sentence short upon seeing the boy in her room. “oh, uh, hi,” he said awkwardly. he looked over at cam, who mouthed an apology.

“hi, gabriel,” taylor nodded. “do you always let yourself into my sister’s room like this.”

“um, no,” gabe lied, swallowing thickly. “not usually.”

“taylor, don’t be a dick,” cam rolled her eyes. “ignore him, gabe.”

“how about coffee?” taylor offered. “on me? i’d like to get to know your boyfriend, cammy.”

“cammy?” gabe raised his eyebrows, watching as taylor opened the door, waiting for the two of them to follow.

“never call me that, gabe, i swear to god,” cam warned, glaring at taylor. “i’m sorry about this. if i had known he was coming i would have told you. i promise.”

“i know,” gabe nodded with a soft smile. “can you hurry up and put some shoes on. i’m already nervous, i don’t want to keep him waiting.”

“its just taylor,” cam rolled her eyes, but did as her boyfriend asked nonetheless. “he’s gonna like you. he can only keep up the scary big brother act for so long, you have nothing to worry about.”

gabe didn’t say anything, but waited for her to grab her keys to lock the door behind them, allowing her to lead the way.

taylor was true to his word, he did pay for the coffee, declining gabe’s polite efforts to pay, and glaring at cam, who told also declined gabe’s effort.

gabe had to get back to campus to work on a project with a classmate, but taylor stuck around for a little longer, him and cam walking around.

“so what’s the verdict?” cam asked quietly, kicking a pebble as she walked.

“he’s not half bad,” taylor shrugged, laughing when cam jammed her elbow into his side. “alright, alright, he’s got my stamp of approval” he said. “ease off, i’ve got games this weekend. you still coming to the home game?”

“yeah,” cam grinned, excited to see her brother play for the first time in a while. “me, val, and timmy are driving up.”

“good,” taylor nodded before clearing his throat. by the sigh cam let out, he knew she knew what he was about to bring up. “you’re gonna have to talk to him eventually.”

“i talk to him everyday, taylor.”

“you know what i mean,” taylor scoffed. “not the hi how was your day texts like you guys just met. he misses your ridiculous updates that no one asks for, but we all love anyway. he misses you.”

“no one looks forward to me saying i bought another overpriced coffee,” cam ignored the rest of what taylor said.

“sure we do,” taylor nodded. “he does, cammy. he lives on the other side of the fucking country. i know it doesn’t seem like it, but he’s being a dick of a brother because he cares about you. he feels guilty for what happened with brian.”

“he knows it wasn’t his fault,” cam whispered. “and he needs to move on. i did.”

“call him,” taylor demanded. “as soon as i leave. hash it out.”

“can you stay forever?”

“cameron.”

“okay, geez,” cam rolled her eyes, ignoring the burning sensation they had. she blinked the tears away as they neared the parking lot. “see you saturday.”

“see you saturday,” taylor smiled. he wrapped his little sister into a big hug, it beinf the first one in months.

“drive safe,” cam said, pulling away.

“i will,” taylor nodded. hjs eyes drifted behind cam, and he nodded. “call cale.”

“i will,” cam nodded, turning around to see gave waiting. she gave taylor one last hug before she departed to meet gabe on the sidewalk.

“hi,” he smiled, throwing his arm around her shoulder. “how was it?”

“good,” cam nodded, leaning into him as they walked away. “missed him.”

“i know you did,” gabe nodded, pressing a kiss to her temple. “what’s the plan now?”

“right now, i’m gonna call cale,” cam answered quietly. “it’s time to deal with it, i guess.”

“atta girl,” gabe whispered encouragingly. he wasn’t aware of the full extent of the makar sibling argument, but he’d been trying to get her to figure things out with cale.

“we’ll meet you and the guys at the dining hall for dinner?”

“yeah,” gabe nodded as they came to a stop outside her dorm building. “text me when you’re on your way. and when you get to your room.”

“i will,” cam laughed. she leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek before making her way to her room.

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Hey bestie, can you write me some Dave x Karkat fic? 💖💖💖

(I don't feel like putting that in the main tag and not the kurloz tag for some reason, sorry guys)

Dave, I'm gonna be real with you, I do not actually know who this Karkat is you keep making up.

It would be very funny if these things were the same person.

1.

There are some days when the world feels like it is spinning. These are days you are not in control of them, either. You are just there on the spinny spinny planet being spun along, and one of these days the world will stop. Then you will stop. Then it will not. You will not stay still forever. The Earth has a memory of how to keep itself spinning, like a computer that needs to run an application, but it's out of power now and the application is in the middle of a crash. If the Earth stops spinning, it will not spin again. It will just be still. Which is fine. Except when it does not start up again.

But today is not a day where the world feels like it is spinning. Today it feels like it is not spinning, and spinning away. And that's kind of nice. You are not spinning; you are the Earth, and so the Earth has you.

You know when you should leave the house, because the planet will start spinning soon. You are going to see your friends, if you're not already late for something. If you leave the house before you are late, the Earth is always late. If the world stops spinning soon, you'll be late anyway. But if you are waiting to see people, you are still here, and that's okay. The world is spinning so hard that it will just stop. It is spinning away from itself and away from you. And then you'll be free, and you'll have more time to see the people you want to see.

It's nice.

It's not nice to be a planet.

It is nice to see your friends. It is not nice that you cannot stay in the same place. It is nice to touch the ground as you walk. It is nice to feel gravity and know that the world is spinning. It is nice to know that it will be spinning soon.

When you spin, you are aware that you're going to stop. But it's different to know. And you're okay. You have this. You have these people and these memories. You have the spinning earth in your mind and your heart. And maybe you're scared to let it go, and you tell yourself that it's just spinning, it has always been spinning, it will always be spinning, and so it's not going to stop. But it does. Eventually. Maybe it spins forever, and there's nothing you can do, and it's okay. You can still say goodbye and touch the ground, and feel the earth against your hand. You can do those things as it spins away from you. And as long as it's spinning, you get to go home, and so you have to go there.

2.

There are only a few ways for the world to be, in the end, and they're all kind of terrible. You could be a human, with a house and a spouse and a friend. Or you could be a person who knows someone who used to be one of the other things, and then you meet them, and they go home, and they go into the house, and it's spinning and they never get to leave. Or they're just spinning forever, or they spin forever but spin faster and faster and there's no way to tell, or they spin forever but they go to a house and a person and no one will ever see them again. It can happen in other ways too. Or it can be all of these ways.

But you don't really think that. You think that none of them are the end, or even very terrible. None of the things are the end, and none of them are really that great. You know people, you go to their house and maybe you know that their house doesn't spin. But maybe it used to, and now it doesn't. Maybe they go to their friend's house and it used to spin and now it doesn't. You think there's not much difference between knowing that their house is spinning, and knowing that their house is not. Maybe knowing that their house spins does not even give you as much consolation as you think. It does not take the pain away. That person can still go to their house, and they will have some memories, and they can try to spin it again, but it won't work. It may not even feel like that. Maybe it feels wrong, like their old house is the wrong house, even though they are there, and even though their house spins. The whole house is a wrong house, and they're a bad person in it. It's okay to know that. Maybe they feel like the spinny house isn't really their house, that they don't belong there, or that they don't fit, even though they do. You know that maybe they can come home, if they want.

The house doesn't spin, or their house spins but it can't be right. Maybe the house spins and it spins so fast you can't see it. Maybe the house spins and when it spins you get vertigo, and dizzy and you have to lie down on the floor and just watch it. Maybe it spins away and you miss it. Maybe it spins out and it never comes back, and your house doesn't spin anymore. Maybe your house never spins at all, never in your life, or maybe you grew up somewhere else, where they never spin. Maybe the spinny house wasn't right for you, and the right house was a different one. Maybe your house was a spinny house and you never knew, even though you had always lived here. Maybe you are a spinny house in a different land, with someone who has never heard of a home that doesn't spin, and a person who is scared to stop.

You think that maybe one day you will go home, even though the house spins, and you will see the people and go to your room and maybe you will spin it. Maybe you will spin it and your mind will spin and spin and spin and you will spin it. You will spin your body around and around until you stop. You will spin your mind and the Earth will spin, and you will be done. You will spin forever and spin faster and faster and slower and slower and slow. You will spin until it stops. You will spin and you will spin until you stop.

You will spin forever and you will spin until you stop. You will spin forever and maybe you will spin it fast, until it stops spinning and you will spin and spin. You will spin forever and you will never stop. You will spin faster and faster and spin forever and spin forever until you stop. You will spin, and spin, and spin, and spin, and spin. You'll spin forever, and you'll spin until it stops. And you'll spin. You'll spin until it stops. And you'll spin and you'll spin and you'll spin, and spin, and spin, and spin and spin forever until it stops and you'll spin forever and spin, and spin, and spin forever. And you'll spin forever.

You

[auspex]

I wanted to send in an ask for the in-character ask meme for mark but i couldnt think of anything, so instead i ask you to ramble about one of the things regarding mark that makes you lose it! Stuff you're totally so Normal about in a Lying way!! It's so fun hearing about that stuff as well as WHY it makes you lose it, yknow?? does this make sense??? hope it does lmao

k im breaking out this ask cause im doin bad. if you dont know or care about mark dont bother reading htis - i found that sometimes my mark tag shows in the general vtm tag and im sorry.

im so normal about how vampires live forever but also live in constant danger (usually)

on the one hand Mark knows he has eternity

on the other hand he knows that in a few nights it could be his last

but the man lives off denial and so he focuses on the first one.

this intersects w some of his... motivations in interesting ways

for example a main one is who he considers it his responsibility to protect sampson. but ok 1: he is a ghoul, so he'll live forever but does he want to? 2: its a dangerous world so protecting him is a big task and can he do that forever? and 3: what happens if sampson does want to live longer but turns against him either emotionally or in a deeper way? what then.

like basically the situation he's in... can it last forever? probably not. will mark grapple with that fact? No <3 its fine for now cause he isn't even a year in yet but it will be a problem at some point...

another one is serving Julius. so far julius has not asked anything too heinous of him but if there truly is eternity that's not gonna last forever. also, mark doesnt know this, but I Do, that when the pyramid falls, the blood bond may traumatically break but that does NOT mean Julius is gonna let go - only become more coercive, with mark more aware of the shit spot he is in. i am going to go absolutely insane when that happens. mark is gonna have a mc'freakin breakdown and if sampson isnt his friend at this point idk what he will do cause thats the only person in his life who could possibly understand.

Ok and finally just how literally like. ok so. mark struggles against the beast like every kindred does and GENRALLY does well because of a promise to himself after he murdered a guy in hunger frenzy, that once he gets That Hungry (mechanically hunger 4) his top goal will be reducing it and at hunger 3 its one of his highest goals. Like he has to believe he can keep it in check. but with eternity... mistakes happen. like there isnt any way he could prevent himself from ever making a mistake like that again. he is in such denial about it though. and when he fucks up again he'll be forced to accept that it will happen Another time, and Again. itll be so delicious <3 (like the blood i mean what)

Anyways.

mark believes he is taking a long view of things but he truly is NOT. he's just using that idea to Cope. he tells himself he has to settle things in his territory, w sampson, w such and such julius task, then he can sit down, study like he wants to, keep things in check ; but here is the thing. vampire society isnt like that. things are gonna shake up eventually. because you either die fast in one of those shake ups, or you live forever always long enough to see another one.

he is telling himself to just go a little longer, push a little harder, and then he can rest. then itll be ok.

but that might not ever come.

he has to learn some coping mechanisms soon... or have friends. hes not in a place where he could actually step away and get a break.

he's getting there on the friends bit w his coterie mate rose cause she agreed to stop dating Lucky (LOTS OF CONTEXT NEEDED WHY THIS IS IMPORTANT BUT IT IS ) and that meant a lot to him and he'll be more willing to open up to her in the future- but i think that will still require some sort of come-to-jesus moment where hes like. Oh shit im doing really bad actually.

which he is

but if you ask him, he will just say theres a lot going on and he's somewhat stressed <3 omg

anyway thanks @eric-the-bmo for my life

[21ate]

I feel as though you must've spoken about this when it came out, but what is your interpretation of the EMH finale "Introductions" and how it relates to the themes of the audience as an antagonist in EMH as a whole? (If that doesn't appeal to you as a topic, just talk about your interpretation of the finale in general and what it means for the narrative?) <3 Happy 4 years since the finale

wow thanks for the great question!

so, i think that the audience and vinny are very similar in that both perpetuated misery and did so unknowingly. vinny hurt people and we helped it happen just by merely giving it views. those unfortunate enough to go further often met gruesome ends

however, i’m not sure the audience is as much an antagonistic force as vinny is, and that is why it’s important that vinny chooses to give up the camera in the end

sure, we the audience have been “unknowing accomplices” as habit puts it, and yeah…we found entertainment in watching these peoples lives fall apart. we’re enablers as well as a feeding ground for man and habit

but vinny, no matter his intention, no matter the narrative he tries to spin about himself, repeats one simple mistake: broadcasting it for everyone to see

the mere action of doing so dooms everyone. there’s nothing we the audience can do to stop anything. we’re the spawn that just keeps growing, existing for creatures like habit and man to feed on. and they do so through people like vinny

i don’t think vinny learning his lesson after death is meant to be ironic, that it’s meaningless because in a hypothetical next iteration he’ll just forget, rinse and repeat forever. i think this is the only way to begin undoing their curse

see, each time the guys die and enter the candleverse, they retain the knowledge of the life they just experienced. when we first see the candleverse gang, we see the guys speculating about what’s about to happen prior to the the emh iteration beginning

these guys have come from the princeton iteration, so their knowledge of what’s going on is limited by their experience up to that point. which is frankly just a lot of misery and no explanation

except… princeton vinny was told the answer in tape 3. so when he died, candleverse vinny already had a good idea how the next iteration would play out. he knew he’d be responsible

in the morse code video, c!vinny seems pretty nonchalant about everything, having learned he’s the center of so many problems. patrick basically told him that he’s just gonna keep fucking up so why bother telling jeff or evan. he doesn’t care that there’s a cameraman watching them, even seeming to invite it

with this in mind i don’t believe c!jeff and c!evan truly knew the extent of the problem until they found each other again during the emh iteration. at this point they now would know about their roles, and we know they eventually figure out that by watching we are contributing to the problem (the ghost tweet telling us to stop watching, posted by evan and jeff from the candleverse)

thus, i believe that what vinny says about the camera in the end is significant:

“we don’t need it”

evan and jeff (and steph by default) already know that; it’s not something they struggle with. if we believe vin has changed then why include them when he’s the main instigator?

obviously it’s because he’s referring to the audience as well. he’s cutting us off, saying we don’t need to see the rest

this is a change in attitude from the c!vinny we saw back in the morse code video

sure, maybe this doesn’t rectify their problem entirely, but it’s an important step forward. just like any trauma or addiction, recovery is a journey and it starts with admitting you have a problem, which vinny does; and he takes it a step further by swearing off the camera. cold turkey.

man this isn’t even mentioning the implications of the north star but i’ve been trying to answer this ask for long enough so maybe i’ll do that separately

anyways thanks again and pls id love any follow up questions!

[doctorguilty]

Nightmares

I feel asleep when i got home because I was tired and also started having an awful headache, but I slept so weirdly having weird and bad dreams and waking up a lot and falling back asleep, at one point I woke myself up because I was sleep talking (rare for me but when it does happen I tend to wake up from my own noise) and I vaguely remember I was having a dream where I was talking to someone random, but irl I whispered "you don't have to tell me if you don't want to" and it's weird getting woken up by my own sleep talking cause it's like there's an overlap where I'm still asleep saying it but I'm also waking up and aware mid sentence. Anyway idk it's usually a bad sign when that happens like it means I'm having weird stress dreams

I fell back asleep shortly after and I proceeded to have an awful nightmare, I dreamed I got dropped off at a store and I waited to get picked up but nobody came because they all fell asleep. It was 10 pm when I finally called someone because the store closed and I was just standing outside in the dark. My grandma picked up, I'd woken her up and I felt bad but she came to get me. For whatever reason everyone was staying at my mom's house, so that's where she was driving me home to.

My mom's house is kinda in the sticks irl, not horribly so, but the roads do get scary at night because they're windy and dark which is what I was dreaming about. We had driven SO long we should have gotten there by now but somehow we got lost. After turning around multiple times and seeing nothing we recognized I took out my phone to use Google maps but every time I typed in the address, it would route me to a completely different address. Like it didn't recognize the address and just "autofilled" what it thought I meant but it was unhelpful because I didn't recognize any of its suggestions. In the meantime my grandma kept driving, somehow unfazed and just saying things like "hm. Must've taken a wrong turn. It's okay I'll find it". I tried zooming in on the map and just manually looking but my service was poor and it was difficult getting street names and such to load. Sometimes I just had no service whatsoever and I just had to wait until it came back

In the meantime the road was so dark I was scared of crashing, a few times there was stuff that quickly crossed the road like deer though sometimes it looked like a small child or something and would just disappear into the darkness. Sometimes there was most definitely like adult people jogging alongside the road even though it in the middle of the night and I was scared we'd hit someone.

Any time I could get any coherent glimpse of the map it seemed like we'd gone 40 mins in the wrong direction, I suggested maybe we stop driving and wait until I could finally route us to the address but my grandma just calmly said it's okay don't worry she's just gonna keep looking

We were driving through like, tunnels and shit that don't exist in that area, sometimes we wouldn't see the road and accidently drive off it and like slide down a hill to a lower road. And she'd just keep driving.

It felt like hours and there'd be times where the sun was rising and we could see the roads a little better, but then suddenly it would become pitch dark again. (I don't recall seeing any kind of clock in the dream or even thinking about checking one.) My grandma never seemed distressed by any of this, which made it worse. She just kept calmly driving. Eventually in the dream I began to think I? We? Were dead and this was purgatory. Driving in the dark forever looking for my mom's house and never getting there.

Irl, I'd woken up SEVERAL TIMES, thought "oh thank God that dream is over" like very coherently, rolled over or whatever, fall back asleep, and the dream just continued where it left off in the car. It must have been 4 or 5 times this repeated before, finally, here I am now being like, I don't want to go back to sleep I'm awake I'm not getting back in the car

My head still hurts anyway so I should take some of my prescription medicine. And eat. Fuck

[vencyrus]

i really needed to vent so heres a dumb diary entry about being aro and potentially also being ace but i identify as pan as well as a list of times ive cried in the past 10 years. (unfortunately a very short list) read it or dont, but thanks for listening if you do!

man honestly i didn't know there were still things to find out about myself at 26. thought i was just with my road to self discovery. panromantic/pansexual just felt like it fit.

I spent a huge chunk of my early 20s dating and sleeping around hoping to kind of find my forever person. felt like that was my driving force the whole time, what got me out of bed and helped me go through the motions everyday.

all my friends eventually got partnered up and i saw less and less and less of them. it got lonelier and lonelier as everyone faded away. we like to say we will surely still have time for each other, keep in touch, hang out. those are just pleasantries. we all know them to be lies; we try anyway. eventually it starts to fade until its gone. time to try to settle down. it should probably be my turn for once.

decided to be a bit more exclusive for the past two years and thought i found the one for me a few times. i loved them and they loved me but eventually they decided that i was not enough. to no fault of their own. i was just not able to love them in a way that they deserved.

i never had a serious relationship until i was 24. focused too hard on academics and just partying. maybe if i had actually dated while i was in high school, maybe middle school, i would have had this realization sooner. instead i spent years pining over the idea of spending my life with someone. to love and to be loved. to spend the rest of my life devoted. i want to give someone my everything but i just find myself so incapable of feeling that intensely about someone no matter how much i feel for them.

maybe im not fully aromantic. otherwise i wouldn't have these fantasies in my head. maybe i am and what i feel is resentment. i dont know if i am truly incapable of romantic love. maybe i am, maybe there is a bit of a spark just waiting to be ignited. i dont know. this is all just a foreign concept for me.

i do know one thing for sure. i cannot love someone in a way that they deserve. it wasnt fair to my previous partners and it wouldn't be fair to future partners to treat them as guinea pigs to my feelings.

even now, the random hookups have felt dull now that ive given up the prospect of dating. i put my time into my craft now that i have all this free time and it does serve as a nice distraction to my feelings but they still swing by and hit me like a truck.

i dont cry often. ive cried in high school a total of 4 times. after that, thrice. once now, in my adulthood, when i realized how lonely i am destined to be.

anyway! time to list the times i've cried.

High School

when my best friend, nessa, started dating someone i had a crush on. i didn't actually like them. i just liked to pick a crush every now and then so the girls had someone to tease me about. so i could share cute interactions i had to illicit reactions. it added to the camaraderie but oh boy was i quite the liar. i knew nessa since sophomore year. we instantly clicked. i had never had a friendship quite that strong and i still havent to this day. i didnt actually have a crush on AJ. but i was utterly crushed by the betrayal

when i got hit by a car like a week after the above betrayal happened. i laugh about it now but man was i a wreck. i biked to school everyday. i loved riding my bike. and i loved my bike. that thing got me through a lot and got me everywhere i needed to be. i stick to the sidewalks always. ill use the bike lanes when necessary. on the way to school there is a long stretch of road surrounded with just grass. the bike lanes were sizeable enough to not worry about it. of course, thats not gonna stop people from swerving into the bike lane for fun. let alone the police in their stupid cop cars. had the gall to ask me if i was ok and blame me for swerving into the road. absolutely not. i take this route everyday, i get my sleep, and i stay safe. i was a good kid on a decline but that might have been my turning point. i still hold a distrust towards law enforcement but i feel like thats normal as a POC. but more regrettably, i have never ridden a bike since that incident.

when my brother moved away. short and simple. i feel like this doesn't warrant an explanation. we're twins! unfortunately on very very different paths. it would be insane for me not to cry. he was more in tune with his emotions and i kept mine bottled up and let them out when i cant keep them contained anymore; always when im alone and there wasnt anyone to witness. despite that, he was definitely the stronger of the two of us. he handled his emotions in a healthy way and i let it fester and ruin me and it became obvious to everyone around me. so, considering this would be the last time we see each other in so long, i had to show him i would be okay in the only way i could figure out how; by not being okay in the moment.

off to college. saying goodbye to my mom never really felt real. had a nice little trip with her before leaving then bawled my eyes out at the airport. there are a total of 3 substantial people who have actually seen me cry. mom, brother, and maya. maya doesn't count as much as the rest. i just exploded in class after getting hit by a car, which by the way, yeah, i did in fact still go to class after getting knocked into a massive mud puddle lol.

College

My dog died. i was overseas and i couldn't see him. i couldn't be there for him. that was my little buddy who was there for me when i was in need and i couldn't return the favor. one of my biggest regrets in life. i would never have left if i knew what was to come. that really is the worst thing about living on the islands. we had one surgical vet and if he was out on vacation, you were just out of luck. i mean, i cant blame the doc that much. even if the vet was actually on the island, doubt we could have been able to afford it. he lived a short life but i like to think that we gave him a longer life than he would have on the streets. i still remember the day we got him. my mom said she had a surprise for me. she drove me to a car yard and we spent 30 minutes just looking under the cars. i didnt know what she wanted me to look for but the moment i saw him, i loved him. that was my boy. my sweet sweet boy. that was my Donut.

One sentence for this cuz i gotta move on from this post. Visited my brother in Texas for his air force graduation. Reunion so short and separation once more.

The stupid Bergenfield State fair. I actually don't want to talk about this cuz it pisses me off more than makes me sad. Mental health was at an all time low and i just basically collapsed in the walgreens candy aisle and bawled my eyes out at 2AM.

[swords-of-a-soilder]

i will say even as a semi q!Forever fan...I can say with his lore ending up at a stopping point due to his already planned hiatus, it does to me seem actually pretty easy to write him out. Yes, he had more lore/a planned return, but it could have been 20x more jarring. As it is...he was corrupted in the lore and then...suddenly no one talks about him. Could have been worse.

Though I admit I only watch VODs 12 weeks behind and recap/clip vids. Work + adulting not very good for streams.

I actually appreciate a reset/deletion of things if lots of the server members are uncomfortable talking about him/or uncomfortable with the drama it could cause, Q made it a lot easier for them not to. Even if behind the scenes some are still friends, even if behind the scenes, some keep in touch--no one wants to be forced to have to explain themselves. It's their personal lives.

I also think admins like fanfic writers/artists, did have their own grief about plots they had to abandon, but likely at least they had each other to talk to about it and maybe a few of the streamers.

In the history of SMPs...unfortunately having to abandon plots and having BTS extreme drama is...par for the course. One SMP I watched featured a writer for it flipping tf out causing big lore changes because the streamer didn't go along with the romance he showed no interest in the whole time.

I don't agree with you on most points but I will say I've seen the argument that the mare existence of things in the server in realtions to him can trigger bad feelings for people who aren't comfortably around him.

Makes me wonder how cc Philza will feel when he eventually goes through his ablum again like he usually does even 15 or so streams is he gonna avoid it entirely, go though it and not say anything?

If he remove all Forver related images, it'll leave a heavy dent in his album.

And the creators that do want to acknowledge (as a pervious anon stated) but can't what about them?

Like I get the agurment it will make things easier for people who don't want to think about him, I know bagi and Antonio (I'm not sure how to spell his name you know who I'm talking about) activitly disowned him but that's 2% of his friend group publicity stating disinterest while the rest seem to just silently unfollow.

But I'll give the benefit of a doubt it's more than we think, is it worth it?

No like actually is it worth it? erasing changing the story confusing new viewers, to avoid walking past a building you don't have to acknowledge or interact with in anyway?

Is it worth removing half you lore and leaving a gapping hole in your story?

Also I don't consider the admin on the same level of fan artist, they are above us let's be honest. They help create the lore we love so much, they are responsible for so many of the characters we enjoy.

I feel like them watching their work get remove would hurt a lot more for them than someone us who can just choice to draw the character anyways no matter what out belief about them is.

Also there is a possibility of just doing the removal for damage control over the comfortability of players; I want you to think of what happens when you make a complaint to HR about a worker.

They may suspend that worker or move you to a different department away from that worker, but that doesn't necessarily mean they believe you over that worker.

Simply put even if they think you're lying if they don't act after you've made your complaint they could be liable for reputation damage if you decide to publicity bash them, so they may remove the worker not because they believe you but to protect the company.

So it's honestly up in the air why it's being done but how much can they really remove, without ruining everything?

Also while I get not wanting to be force to make a statement these people make content creator their job, you would want your company to make a statement about something as important as such.

they are human beings with emotions yes but at the very least the owner/boss of the server should make a statement to clear the "companies" progression.

Using corporate speak but you get the point I'm Trying to make, when you invited the guys it'd your responsibility.

[valancedbreakfast]

I've been stuck in waiting mode unable to thinking about anything other than totk for a bit and just found this post linked from your more recent post and it got me digging into hyrule history nonsense to refresh myself.

I've got two minor corrections and then I'll get to my actual point.

1) Twilight Princess takes place in the child timeline not the adult timeline. More on that in a bit since it relates to something I want to say that I've not seen anyone talking about.

2) Phantom Ganondorf in OoT does have a sword pong segment. After you get him off his horse he floats around overhead and you play pong to get him down.

But that's just small corrections, my main point follows after some extra history nonsense I want to lay down that it feels like a lot of ppl haven't thought about.

So there's the whole confusing timetravelling nonsense of skyward sword that boils down to the three golden goddesses departed from the world leaving behind the goddess hylia as protector of the triforce. Demon King Demise wants the triforce for mandatory evil purposes. Timeywhimey shenanigans and Hylia reincarnated as Zelda and her chosen hero Link manage to defeat Demise and seal him in the Master Sword, but not before her sets a curse in play that kickstarts our whole cycle. Link and Zelda are cursed to reincarnate and an incarnation of Demise's hatred (later come to be know as Ganon) will forever follow them.

Okay, so time goes on and things happen and eventually Link and Zelda are reincarnated into what will be the Ocarina of Time portion of the timeline. Demise's hatred is also present here in the form of Ganondorf, the Gerudo King of Thieves. He hatches a plot to claim the triforce for himself yet again but it's long since been kept in the Sacred Realm for safety. More time shenanigans occur and Ganondorf manages to get the triforce but it splits and he only keeps part of it while the other two pieces go to Link and Zelda. And then our timeline is gonna get all kinds of fucked up because believe it or not, the zelda team didn't intend for every game in the series to be a cohesive timeline from the beginning and what we know as the timeline now is just the best they could come up with to fit all these games together. So anyway, we get three timelines from here depending on the outcome of Ocarina of Time, and this is where all of this comes to my actual point:

Fallen Hero Timeline: Link is defeated, Ganondork becomes Ganon, claims the full triforce and is super powerful. The sages seal him in the sacred realm which her corrupts into the dark world and that leads to A Link to the Past and other games. The thing is, GANONDORF is never seen again in this timeline. Ganon the boar demon king is revived time and time again by various means, but the Gerudo form is just gone.

Young Link Timeline: Link and Zelda defeat Ganondorf who has given up his Gerudo form to become pig boy Ganon. But then Zelda sends Link back in time to when he was a child before the events of the game. He tattles on Ganondorf and Ganondorf is arrested. That same Ganondorf is then banished to the Twilight Realm for his crimes. This of course leads to Twilight Princess where Ganondorf finds his way back to Hyrule. They just straight up kill him. And then later he's reincarnated and gets sealed into the Four Sword.

Adult Link Timeline: This one is honestly just weird. So Link and Zelda seal Ganon, but then since Link is sent back in time, it effectively leaves this timeline without the Spirit of the Hero. So when Ganondorf inevitably breaks free and tries to take over Hyrule again, like... there's just no hero to stop him. So the golden goddesses (who like... weren't even meant to be here anymore?) flood the whole world and we get Wind Waker. But all this does is mean Ganondorf can't get the triforce. He's still just kicking around and plotting and the Ganondorf we see in Wind Waker is literally the same guy from Ocarina of Time. The Hero of the Wind (who is literally just some kid, not a reincarnation of Link) fights his way through Ganondorfs minions and then just straight up kills Ganondorf. And then they go have a gremlin vacation and never come back. Like there's just no other instances of Demise or Ganon or Ganondorf in this timeline.

So anyway, my point was going to be that all the instances of Ganondorf we see are literally the same guy. But then in researching this I found out that he's randomly reincarnated for the Four Swords Adventures game? So like, I guess my whole theory is pointless. I was gonna be like, how did Ganondorf get under the castle and is all mummified and stuff. But I guess thanks to Four Swords Adventures we actually have precedence of there being more than one Ganondorf.

I guess that's my weird ramblings. I'ma go back to just staring at the wall and waiting for Tears of the Kingdom now.

what do u think totk is gonna b about

OH WOW I AM SO SO SO GLAD YOU ASKED!! HERES THE ESSAY I TOTALLY DID NOT HAVE PREWRITTEN ABOUT THIS SUBJECT!!

so arguably the biggest mystery left unsolved at the end of botw is the origin of ganon as we now know him -- "calamity ganon." in all other games (and by extension all known previous incarnation cycles) where "ganon" was the primary antagonist (incl. all ganon and ganondorf variants) ganon was something real, physical, and ALIVE. a man or a boar-monster, usually, but always something that was bound by the laws of nature to some degree and could be physically killed. botw departs from that formula (and by extension botw's CYCLE departs from the usual governing laws of its own universe--i'll come back to this point) by showing us a ganon that is far less human than any other known incarnation of demise. even in name, this incarnation of ganon is given no personhood--it's a calamity, a force of evil with no origin and no complex thought beyond a need for destruction.

The thing is, for all the game wants the player to understand this ganon as nothing but a mindless, monstrous force of evil, it also makes a point to identify this force as GANON, incarnation of demise. seasoned zelda fans will relate the calamity back to ganondorf the human king at the first mention of its name. anyone familiar with the cyclical lore or even just the basic formula of zelda games will recognize the cycle's steps being played out in such a way that the calamity plays the part of the king of evil. for those who don't make the immediate connection, urbosa's final line after the player frees her in vah naboris cements the calamity's former personhood: "it was written that calamity ganon once adopted the form of a gerudo." it's a deliberate hint to new players that the form we see ganon take in this game is not his true one.

So what is calamity ganon? what turned the newest human incarnation of demise so deeply inhuman? what happened to the human that calamity ganon once was? why, when the calamity struck, did it rise from underneath hyrule castle, with pillars full of armed guardians ready to aid it in its destruction? these questions are what i expect will be the main focus of totk. as for their answers, i only really have my own speculation, backed by some evidence from trailers and botw, which i'll outline now because that's the whole point of this post.

botw is 10k years removed from the last known instance of an incarnation cycle, a fact which is crucial to its story and worldbuilding. while there's no official source on how long periods of peace usually last between cycles, it's obvious from context that botw has gone much longer without a new cycle than any previous game before it, if only because of how much information about the cycle itself has clearly been lost to time. this lack of information is what causes a majority of the problems link and zelda face in botw. But it raises a question for those of us who follow the lore and have noticed the discrepancy: why was hyrule able to forget this information in the first place? Why was there such a long period of peace when the cycle ought to have continued? there's no other instance in centuries of documented hyrulian history where enough time passed between cycles for the idea of the TRIFORCE to be lost to time. how did it happen before botw? the answer, I think, lies with the hero and princess of 10k years ago.

there's a LOT we don't know about the hero and princess who came before botw, obviously. and I believe their story is going to be incredibly important in totk, given how it was teased in botw. we can assume, from context, that the incarnation of demise that this hero and princess went up against was the gerudo incarnation of ganon mentioned by urbosa. What botw tells us about this cycle is that ganon was powerful enough to need legions of guardians and four divine beasts ALONG with a presumably fully-realized hero and princess to defeat him, but that, with these resources, the hero and princess triumphed. what is not confirmed, however, is what exactly HAPPENED to ganon after his defeat. one could assume that he died, because hitting a human man with a sword enough times will usually kill him. however, there's another important piece to the puzzle when looking at loz cycles: zelda and her goddess power. the thing i'm going to be focusing on here is the fact that throughout botw zelda's power is referred to specifically as a "sealing power." it's significant to me that the concept of SEALING surivived when so many other crucial pieces of the cycle did not, because, in multiple previous games, "sealing" ganon does NOT mean he dies. in both oot timelines in which link DOES NOT return to the past at the end of the game (defeat & adult), the official explanation as to ganondorf's fate is that he is "sealed" in some form, either in the sacred realm or the twilight realm. (if you don't know what those are don't worry it's not important, what's important is that he is sealed.) alttp and twilight princess, follow the aftermath of these two timelines, in which ganon has been "sealed" but not killed. in both stories, ganon (specifically the SAME INCARNATION OF GANON AS OOT) eventually frees himself from the confines of the seal and continues to terrorize hyrule. so "sealing" is not necessarily synonymous with defeat or death, and it doesn't reset the incarnation cycle for demise's spirit, it just keeps the current incarnation dormant for a while.

i hear you saying, "blue, why the fuck does any of this matter? ive been reading for so long!" and i am sorry. i promise i will get there. the important point at this point is that SEALED does not mean DEAD or even DEFEATED, and that zelda's power in botw is exclusively referred to as a SEALING POWER. we can assume that this terminology is left over from the hero and princess from 10k years ago, because, by virtue of a 10k-year period of peace, most everything that botw hyrule remembers about the cycle appears to be left over from only that previous cycle. What this means is that, upon defeat 10k years ago, human ganon was not killed, he was sealed. and as i've already mentioned, there's a precedent in these games for a sealed ganon to come back to terrorize a new cycle's hero and princess. I think it's pretty obvious that the mummified gerudo skeleton seen in the totk trailers is that sealed ganon from 10k years ago. but those trailers take place AFTER link and zelda defeat calamity ganon in botw, so why is he still there, sealed but not dead?

the most obvious explanation to me is this: calamity ganon is not ganon. botw's blights give us proof that ganon is capable of somehow reproducing itself in smaller, less powerful doses to deal with immediate threats without having to leave its shelter in hyrule castle. if you recall, calamity ganon's first phase underneath hyrule castle is essentially a rehash of the blight fights, with ganon cycling through attacks previously used by its blights (and adding some new ones into the mix, obv.) One thing that struck me when fighting it, though, is that the fight lacks one signature mechanic that's been a staple of ganon battles in the zelda franchise since at least alttp: sword pong. in almost every game involving a fight with an incarnation of ganon, there's an attack pattern in which the player and ganon have to deflect a ball of energy between each other via their weapons until one of them eventually misses a swing and gets hit. calamity ganon doesn't have this attack in his arsenal, which is strange to me because it's an iconic move for loz final battles. the only ganon battle i can think of which DOESN'T involve this mechanic is oot's shadow ganondorf, a PROJECTION of ganondorf rather than the real thing.

can you see what i'm getting at here?

I don't think botw's link and zelda have gone up against their real incarnation of demise yet. I think the calamity was one of two things: either a genuine expression of rage/escape attempt by the sealed human ganon, or a calculated attempt by him to get modern hylians interested enough in the origins of the calamity to investigate and free him accidentally. The way the pillars rose from under hyrule castle, the fact that calamity ganon smashes through the floor of the sanctum and forces link to fight in that underground chamber, it all seems to beckon you to dig deeper. we know that that mummy is somewhere under the castle. Calamity ganon was a shootoff of its power meant to lead hylians to it. this is what i meant way back when i mentioned that botw's cycle departs from the usual governing laws of its own universe--link and zelda haven't actually played out the full cycle at all. what they've done is essentially the precursor to the main event--they've defeated agahnim, or zant, or ghirahim, but the true evil of this cycle has yet to be revealed. to that point, it's worth noting that, excluding shrine mini-dungeons, botw has WAY less dungeons than your average zelda title. most new-cycle titles (by which i mean games that weren't direct sequels featuring the same incarnation of a given link) are divided into 2 sections of dungeoning - the first section having 3-4 dungeons containing prize items needed to unlock some late-game functionality, and the second half having 5-7 dungeons and being accessible only after the player has completed the first section. botw has four dungeons TOTAL (not counting hyrule castle), meaning formula-wise it's essentially the first half of a cycle. i believe totk is going to be the second half of this cycle, with link and zelda having to fight the true evil -- revitalized HUMAN ganondorf.

so now we need to bring this all back to my initial point--why was there a 10k-year period of peace pre-botw, and how does any of this effect my predictions for the story of totk?

in simple terms, i think that the reason there was such a long period of peace was because 10k-years-ago-princess sealed ganon REALLY well. she probably came the closest anyone in hyrule's history has ever come to a TRUE defeat of ganon, because she managed to keep him ALIVE so he wouldn't reincarnate and SEALED so he couldn't hurt anyone for a really long time. what this implies is that 10k-years-ago princess knew on some level about the reincarnation cycle. she understood that if she couldn't keep ganon alive and incapacitated, he would revive and the cycle would start over anyway, so she did everything in her power to stop that from happening, and she did a DAMN GOOD JOB tbh. better than anyone who tried this shit before her. there are other bits and pieces of botw's story that point to the hyrulean civilization 10k years ago understanding the potential of a ganon reincarnation, most notably the fact that they buried guardians and divine beasts seemingly purposefully for later hyruleans to find and use should a new threat ever arise. this implies that 10k-years-ago hyruleans had a REALLY HIGH level of awareness about the cycle, in direct contrast to modern hyrule's REALLY LOW understanding of it. this is really important when we start thinking about totk.

we already have a decent amount of evidence suggesting that totk will deal with the events of 10k years ago and the hero involved in them. In several trailers now we've seen modern link's arm become weirdly, creepily fused with/corrupted by the arm that was holding mummified ganon in place under the castle. i think this arm is going to serve two purposes in totk. the first is a practicality thing: from gameplay footage it looks like the arm is going to basically take the place of the sheikah slate. the second purpose i think it'll serve is to be link's (and by extension the player's) connection to the events of 10k years ago. I've seen plenty of theories thrown around about what the arm is, but my personal theory is that it's some sort of prosthetic or tech that originally belonged to the 10k-years-ago hero. the way it's holding mummified ganon in place in that first teaser trailer looks less to me like an evil influence and more like something physically holding ganon down; a seal of sorts. (and in most games both the hero and princess's power is needed to seal ganon, so perhaps this is how the hero and princess managed to keep him dormant for so long: adding a physical piece of the hero to the mix?) in any case, i think that after establishing this physical connection to the 10k-years-ago hero, modern link is going to get some knowledge and flashbacks (potentially in the form of memory-style cutscenes like botw) that will serve to basically fill in all the cyclical lore that has been lost in-universe over the past 10k years. I've talked at length about how i believe link and zelda's initial failure in botw was due entirely to their lack of knowledge of the hyrulean creation myth and the REASON behind the motions they were carrying out, and i believe that by witnessing the 10k-years-ago hero and princess's journey, modern link will be given the knowledge he needs to defeat ganon.

[sparklingpax]

Happenings

The little things...happenings of seemingly little importance. But in long and tiring course of life, it’s often those little moments of nothing which occur, that we remember forever. 

///

A/N: GUYSSS ok so I know I took an age and a half to actually write this, and yes this is actually the thing I polled about writing, but that’s because...this isn’t just one story....it’s a couple short ones! Tried writing just one, but I didn’t like that very much....at least, not alone. One you might have already seen, but I’m adding it for the sake of adding it....idk. Hope that’s alright ^^’‘

Point is......idk, this was a fun little experiment of writing I wanted to try out, and I just hope you enjoy it. I really really love the idea that the Decepticons were somewhat of a family, too. In fact, the way it’s like, highkey canon.....is so good qwq 💖 I didn’t really get to touch on every dynamic I enjoy, but I will eventually....and believe that because as you know with me, eventually always happens, even if it’s like a year+ of waiting.....sorry

And some extra things: 

Set in canon (disclaimer ig, I know the difference between hcs and actual canon and I understand that setting it in canon does not make it canon, but it is still in that setting...things have been crazy lately so I just felt like clarifying that!)

I definitely have a couple typos and oddly-written stuff here....I’ll be modifying it in coming days, but for now....please just ignore it?? ;w; 

The POINT of this was to focus on mundane things (a couple of exceptions) so...idk, sorry if that’s not to your taste?? Yay if you enjoyed it tho???? o///o’

Im...gonna put this here I guess: the only romantic relationship here is Giga/Mega....they’re literally married, anyway. As for everyone else...platonic friendship/familial type stuff! Just...to be clear! :]

All of these take place at like different intervals of time, it is not one big "linear" story

....anyway...with all that said....enjoy! 

///

“Would you please cut that out.”

 The boy across from him abruptly froze, making Hydra realize the sting of his tone. He hadn’t intended that, of course, but…he was busy…

 “Sorry for snapping,” he mumbled, not looking up from his laptop. “But if you keep tapping your pen like that, I can’t focus.” 

 Cancer seemed as if debating to pretend he didn’t hear him or to simply not respond. Well, maybe he was only left with one choice, he realized, as his quick glances likely gave away the fact that he’d heard Hydra. He opted to move his textbook to his lap and slowly put his head down on the table to read instead.

 They lapsed into silence, but an awkward one now. 

Hydra felt a twinge in his stomach. He didn’t really mean to snap at the boy, and part of him wished he’d left it alone altogether.

 Well…what’s done is done. 

Cancer had taken to the library area of their expansive base to catch up on some studying of his own. As he wasn’t exactly able to attend school…this was as best as it'd get for an education. 

Well...for now, anyway.

As he was self-studying, he’d also found he had a tendency to fidget as a method to focus better, and usually no one minded the noise it made because there was no one around. 

Today, however and unfortunately, he wasn’t alone in here as usual. 

 His eyes flitted up and down quickly, stealing a quick glance at Hydra. 

The man was staring intently at something on the screen, brow furrowed in thought. Every so often, he looked to his left, probably referencing a book of his own. Then, he’d type…fix his glasses, check the book again, and type, type…

 “Can I help you?” 

 Cancer gasped, realizing he must’ve been staring, and ducked his head back to reading his own book so fast…that he hit it on the table’s edge. 

“OW!!!!”

 His head against the wood coupled with the choked screech of an exclamation of pain made such a loud noise that Hydra jolted a bit and stopped typing. When the noise died down and was replaced with silence, he found his gaze ticking upwards, almost hesitantly. 

He found himself swallowing, wondering if the boy was alright. On the other side of the table, Cancer had his head down, and seemed not to be moving, except for…

 “Cancer-kun?” Hydra said rather softly. In fact, in a softer tone than he’d expected to give, actually. He made a face at this tangential thought briefly, then abandoned it immediately and tried again when he didn’t get a response. “Oi, Cancer, are you—”

 “S-s-s…sorry…sorry….” 

His brow furrowed again, fully with worry this time. Why was he…?

 “...Cancer?”

Oh, he realized suddenly, Cancer was crying. It took a moment for him to move again, taking a couple steps around the table and coming up next to Cancer, who seemed to shy away as he got closer. 

He’s crying, Hydra, you made the boy cry. Good job. 

 He felt a bead of sweat on his forehead as he realized he was far from well-versed in how to deal with something like this. But then, there was also common sense, which he thought to try. 

 First, I need to apologize. 

He made an awkward noise, adjusting his glasses. Then, he took a seat next to the boy. He was suddenly having flashbacks to similar experiences with Buster. Except then, the two had been young children, and he knew Buster closely…

“Are, uh…was that you?” 

You’re supposed to ask ‘are you okay,’ dumbass. What the hell was that? 

But it seemed to grab Cancer’s attention, and he peeked up at Hydra for a couple moments before rising, a hand gently over the spot on his forehead where he’d slammed into the table at full force. Hydra made another noise of surprise, then cleared his throat and tried again. 

“Cancer, are you alright?”

“Sorry–” Cancer responded right on the tail of his words, rushed and quick. He swallowed and stood to leave, a blush—of embarrassment, Hydra surmised—spreading across his cheeks. He began to gather up his textbook and note papers, and Hydra though to just watch him go, except…

Fix this, Hydra.

His eyes widened. He could also imagine how unhappy Mega would be if she found out—even if this had been an accident. Still, beyond avoiding her anger, Hydra felt a twinge of guilt. 

 “Cancer, wait,” He finally said, and thankfully, the boy froze again, staring at him. 

 Hydra awkwardly pushed his glasses up again before saying, “I shouldn’t have snapped, so I'm…sorry,” he repeated his earlier apology. “I was trying to focus, I was into my work…”

He wasn’t sure it was enough, but it was enough out of him for the moment, he thought. Hydra let his words hang in the air, saying nothing else.

For a couple seconds, Cancer looked away, said nothing. He seemed to be debating leaving with a wordless huff or staying. Then, he seemed to choose the latter, dropping his stuff back on the table,and plopping back down in his seat. 

His expression had now morphed into something of an indignant pout. Hydra winced when he noticed the color of the bruised spot when the boy finally removed his hand. 

“Er…do you need me to take you to—”

“This is nothing!” Cancer cut him off quickly. He still hadn’t looked back at him. Hydra let out a sigh on the quieter side, fishing for the words to say that might relieve the tension here…

“What were you doing anyway that was so important?”  

Eh? 

The sudden, mumbled question came as a bit of a surprise. Hydra rubbed the back of his neck for a moment in thought. 

“Well…nothing, really, just…” He shrugged. “Language study…” 

Cancer shifted next to him suddenly. He was staring intently at him now. 

“Wait—me too.”

“Oh? Which one?” He gestured at his own textbook. “I was studying Chinese, though I haven’t…made much progress at present.”

Cancer’s eyes sparkled, his reply treading upon Hydra’s last words– 

 “Oh, I can help!!” 

Hydra’s eyes widened.

Of course—that’s right, he remembered, Cancer had come from China in the first place. He spoke Chinese.

“You...would?"

Cancer nodded earnestly.

"I'd…appreciate that, Cancer-kun,” Hydra said slowly, with another awkward glasses adjustment. He seemed to relax a little in posture. “I really would. Thank you.” 

The boy practically beamed with pleasure at this proposition, the last few minutes seemingly all forgotten now. Hydra still felt kind of bad, however, which he also found odd because usually he didn’t really care. 

It was almost the same as…

“Stop saying that!!”

“Nii-san–”

“Shut up!!” 

“Nii-san, stop–that hurt!!!” 

He saw in his mind’s eye, the fuzzy memory of the face of Buster as a small child. 

It was on a cloudy day, many years ago now, on a day when they’d been fighting during recess at school. What it was about, Hydra couldn’t recall even then.

It had started as a simple scuffle, a few kicks and punches, but it only continued to escalate with every passing moment, until Hydra found himself, with little hesitation, putting Buster into a chokehold and twisting his arm. 

He’d felt nothing as he did that—until the piercing cry of the boy seemed to send a shock through his bones, and he jolted backwards, releasing him instantly. Unable to speak, he watched Buster stumble to the ground, staring up at Hydra for a moment before looking away quickly. He was trying to steady his breath, obviously in pain but not wanting to cry.  

There’d been a growing crowd of kids around them, their eyes boring holes into him from all angles.

Hydra was starting to feel so guilty he wished he could disappear.

He’d wanted to say sorry, to take it back…but the most he could do was grab Buster by the other arm and pull him away from the crowd, dragging him along until they came to a secluded area near the side of the school building, where they sat down in silence for a while. 

Hydra found himself still gripping Buster’s smaller hand, surprised that he was shaking.

He hadn’t meant to…he hadn’t…

“Hydra-san? Ano…”

The man jolted, realizing quickly he’d probably spaced out. He tried to keep a relatively neutral expression, looking around the room quickly before asking, “So…what language were you looking at?” 

 Cancer replied without missing a beat, “Japanese!”

Hydra raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “You’re already quite good at it, Cancer. Why?”

The boy shrugged.

“I’ve got a lot left to learn, and…I don’t know a lot of words…and stuff....” He looked to the ceiling briefly, as if trying to think of something. But, Hydra understood what he meant. 

 I still don’t quite have a complete handle on this language, but I’m pretty solid in a lot of it…

“I can…help you too, if you are ever…confused,” he found himself saying slowly. Cancer’s eyes lit up again and he moved closer, clapping his hands together. 

 “Really?!”

“Yes, of course, I–”

Then suddenly, Cancer seemed to remember something, and he spun around, grabbing his books and belongings. Hydra simply watched, not sure if he should continue speaking as he watched the boy scamper off in the direction of the door. 

But, before he left the room, Cancer came to a stop at the top of the steps to the exit, turning and smiling again at the Godmaster.

“Xièxie, Hydra-san! See you at dinner!”

Hydra felt a smile twist the corners of his lips. 

What a…funny kid.

///

Link to Mega/Giga story 1

Summary: uhhhhh.....fluff w them, kinda? Pretty scene descriptions? Ummmmm........yea! Please read, I liked that one ngl

///

Giga bowed his head, lower and lower until his forehead grazed the floor. 

It was cold and hard. Out of the corner of his vision, he watched Mega, Buster, and Hydra do the same. 

“Failure again! This is unacceptable!!” 

“Please, at least understand—that we managed to destroy an entire city, which was part of what you had hoped—”

“SILENCE!!” 

A tongue of electricity seemed to stretch out with rabid hunger, licking both of Giga’s shoulders, leaving behind thin lines of blood. Having experienced this many times, Giga uttered a grunt of pain, but nothing more. 

Beside him, Mega flinched, out of a combination of fear and concern, but did not dare raise her head. Her own skin seemed to tremble in uneasy anticipation, of its own lashing, if it were to come, that is. 

“Do not presume what I desire!” 

The sound of Devil Z’s voice reverberated in the skulls of all present in the dimly-lit, damp cavern. It sounded with a disembodied quality, not to unsimilar to the Decepticon emperor itself. It was not as soundwaves in the air, but rather a sound he allowed their ears to hear—something inexplicable, that sounded as if it rang around into the open air of the room, and at the same time, blasted only between their ears. 

It was a chilling, commanding sound. It faded slowly, every remaining wave piercing to the last. Everyone did their best to remain still and obediently silent. 

The dark frustration dripping from his tone felt akin to being in the crosshairs of a madman with a gun in hand—having taken aim at the head, with a trembling finger on the trigger. 

Giga and Mega knew their power, likely so did the Godmasters. If if were anyone else, they would not have bent a knee—they’d not have even batted an eye. 

 But they were at the moment, powerless in the face of this ruling being, who could kill them with but a fleeting thought. 

 In the face of their superior…but not their master. 

 “...and you will come up with another plan—quickly! I shall not be hindered in my conquest of earth due to mere insects!!” Devil Z snapped, when the last words had finally faded to quiet. After another pause, he spoke again, “or any useless underlings.” 

“Yes, Great Emperor!”

The four’s voices in unison echoed in the cavern, loudly and firmly so as to appease the Emperor. And, it seemed to work…a weight seemed to lift off the air—something that no one could explain, but which always occurred when Devil Z would at last leave their presence. 

It was a good feeling, and everyone remained still, near-flattened to the ground for a moment, before Giga made a noise and shot upright. It was an indignant noise, that reflected the feelings of the others in the room. 

One by one, they each lifted their heads and stood up again, not speaking for the moment. 

“How shameful,” Buster muttered, almost to himself, breaking the quiet. “We keep upsetting the Emperor with our failed endeavors.” 

But everyone, including Buster, knew that it was not frustration at their team that sparked Buster’s words. 

Perhaps instead, what he would wish to say, would be something closer to how shameful it was, that their Emperor did nothing to aid them. 

They were not privy to their leader’s ultimate goal, which was definitely something more than what they had been led to understand. 

They were lashed with insults, pain, and threats should they ever fail, no matter what they did or tried. There was no such thing as a small victory, which even months before there had been. 

But their leader had further grown more unstable. 

Unspoken was the thought: Is this what a great leader is? 

Frantic rage and frustration sparked the air when Devil Z spoke.

He contradicted himself, went with incautious courses of action that no longer had structure except for destroying as much possible, all at once.

“We will do our best to satisfy our leader’s orders, and we will crush the Autobots,” Mega said, with conviction enough that Buster flinched. But her eyes spoke a different story when she ran them across the other three standing before her. 

Hydra stepped forward, making a fist and raising it a little.

“Mega’s right, we will come up with a plan—we always do,” he seemed to reaffirm, patting Buster on the shoulder. 

Everyone seemed to speak in stunted words, as if someone was listening. 

It was as it had been for the last few months, when they had begun to fear their leader, but not in the sense of awe. 

 …

“Well then, everyone,” Giga said at last. “So we shall. But I believe there’s something more important, first.” He looked to Mega, who seemed to understand what he was hinting at, grinning a little herself. 

“You’re absolutely right, Giga-sama!” Buster exclaimed, eyes seeming to light up a little. "We’re having Cancer’s birthday dinner tonight, aren’t we?”

Giga nodded, with a low hum of affirmation.

"So let us get to work. We have only a few hours before the kids return.”

“You two can handle the table, correct?”

“Yes, sir!” Buster and Hydra responded, standing tall. 

“Then do so.”

With a nod, they turned and exited the kitchen, leaving only Mega and Giga behind. The pair worked in silence for a few heartbeats, the sound of Giga chopping vegetables against the sizzling of the pot Mega was stirring. 

“Perhaps if we dig a large hole in the forest and push Ginrai into it, we’ll satisfy our Emperor,” Giga mused with chuckle. “He’ll dent his chassis and…die!”

“Or maybe if we blow him up again, he’ll actually stay dead! Rid us of our troubles…”

They sighed at the same time, seemingly on the same train of thought. 

We have to deal with this, or die trying…what options to choose from! 

“Giga…” 

He turned at his name, finding Mega staring at him. Her eyes seemed to be chiding him gently, her smirk telling him not to worry about it. 

It was amazing how well they’d grown to know each other, where looks could say more than their words needed. 

“I know,” he huffed, returning to cutting the vegetables. “We have time to come up with something, and we will. Tonight is Cancer’s party.”

“And tonight is also a feast for everyone in this family to enjoy. We will not allow anything to…” she suddenly trailed off, unable to remember the saying she’d wanted to finish with.  

“I don’t believe that was it.”

“Rain on us?” Giga tried. He scraped the chopped pieces into a red bowl and began tossing them about gently. He could gauge what she was trying to say, of course, but it seemed he’d forgotten, too.

Humans and their odd idioms and sayings, he thought as Mega laughed in response. 

“Well, am I close?”

“I’m not quite sure…” she turned off the stove and leaned against the counter, lost in thought. 

“Darken our bubble?”

“That’s not a saying, is it?”

“Maybe not,” Giga put the bowl down and turned to face Mega, folding his arms. He realized this would greatly bother him if he couldn’t figure out what the saying was, and soon. The same applied to Mega. 

It was simply their nature, one could surmise. 

“Make waves in our…boat.”

“Isn’t it, ‘rock the boat’?”

“You’re right! Then just, ‘make waves’?”

“No, no, not that…”

“Rain over the water?”

“Eh?” 

“Be a…wet blanket.” 

 After a moment of silence, Mega burst out laughing, which made Giga start to chuckle. It was on the cusp of their tongues, and yet they couldn’t quite—

“Rain on our parade!” 

“Parade!” Mega said suddenly, eyes wide. Giga seemed to catch on immediately. 

They made the exclamation in unison, then dissolved into laughter. How ridiculous this might have been, but it was enough to get their minds firmly off the scolding and lashing from earlier. At least, for a few moments. 

When their laughter had subsided, Mega found her eyes ticking towards the fresh cuts on Giga’s shoulders, no longer bleeding, instead bruised a faint purple. Below it were the faded marks of other scars, all from failures to please their…’great’ leader. 

Giga knew what Mega was looking at and reached out to put a hand on her shoulder, letting his finger brush it gently. 

She had some of her own, and she knew they hurt like hell for a week at least. 

“If it means protecting them, then a few cuts don’t hurt,” he said softly. “Thank goodness the kids were out today, right?” 

Mega nodded, sighing. Her eyes spoke many words of worry and sadness. Giga’s seemed strained and apprehensive. 

Decepticons were not without honor, he had often thought. Yet everything they had been doing on this Earth as of late, under the command of Devil Z, even things of their own doing…had seemed only to put into jeopardy the very morals by which Mega and Giga navigated their existence.  

Much of what they were beginning to see—beginning to realize, rather—was further and further from the honor they had thought they were upholding. 

The honor…of the Decepticon cause. 

The honor of any great warrior.

The honor of any great leader.

 And that was a scary thought.  

 “We’ll fix this.”

“Yes, we will.”

“We are not his slaves.” 

Giga and Mega smiled,  in agreement, eyes glinting with a malicious sharpness. 

“And in due time, we’ll show him that.”

 “Exactly,” Giga nodded firmly. “Now, let us finish this dish. Tonight, we drink and feast!” 

 ///

 Wilder stood at the entrance to a huge, white building, staring at the tall, glass door that slid open and closed as people filed in and out, many carrying bags if they were exiting. Somehow, he’d never seen it before. 

 Then again, he wasn’t familiar with every store in the area. Still, a place this big…

 It was a mall, at the head of a busy street, with a noisy road of cars past the sidewalk. 

Buster marched from behind him and stood in front of the door, hands on hips and a triumphant look sparking in his eyes. 

“Welcome to my favorite store!” He announced gleefully, starting in. Wilder whistled in some amazement, and then followed him in. 

He’d been on his way back from lunch when he’d bumped into Buster on the sidewalk. Enthusiastic to hear the teen had the rest of the afternoon off, Buster asked if he’d be willing to go somewhere with him in the city before returning to headquarters. 

 Wilder actually didn’t mind hanging out with Buster, either. He’d planned to read manga in his quarters for the rest of the afternoon, but…he was also curious what the errand would be. And, curiosity winning out, he’d accepted the invitation. 

 “We’ve only one stop to make today!” Buster called over his shoulder. 

 The two of them got on an escalator. The lights and colors of the shops and walkways bustling with people danced below them, and Wilder was reminded of how it felt to stand atop a roof in the middle of the night, watching a festival parade go by with old companions, years ago.

 He turned his gaze forwards again, scanning the area of the floor they were coming to on the escalator. 

 “The…Uniqlo?” Wilder asked, as they got off the escalator and drew closer to a store with the name engraved to the sign above the entrance. 

 Buster responded with a chuckle, reaching out and patting Wilder on the back. He proceeded through the front, unzipping his jacket as he entered. For a moment, Wilder stood, studying the outside of the store, then he shrugged, and followed Buster in.

 “So, how are things for you here?” 

 Wilder was surprised at the sudden question, shrugging before he said anything. They walked through the first shelves of clothes in silence before Wilder finally spoke.

 “It’s a…home I didn’t really think I’d have,” he almost mumbled. It was like he had a hard time saying it, but not for the reasons one might think. And Buster immediately understood that. In some ways…he felt the same. 

He doesn’t know if it’s real—to stay. 

And really…Buster didn’t know either. Of course, he wanted—just as much as anyone else on their team—the victory of this war, to crush the skulls of the Autobots who kept causing them shame, defeat…pain. 

Buster regarded the boy, whose burning passion to do something with his life—to become something, someone…and smiled.

 “Wilder-kun,” he said, after some moments of silence had passed. “Would you like to know why we’re here?”

Wilder sighed and messed with his hair, the smirk on his face seeming to indicate his usual air of confidence had returned.

His young eyes sparked with energy again, not dark, reflective thought. Buster knew that well, too. 

Smile, not a sweet smile, but the smile of victory. Of confidence and power. One that pushes back against being used, and...being doomed to your fate...

Somehow, without saying anything, the look in Wilder’s eyes seemed to understand what Buster was thinking.

“Beats me,” Wilder responded, then held up a shirt. “But this shirt looks really cool.” At this, Buster chuckled, patting the teen on the shoulder and guiding him forward, shirt still in hand. 

"You're correct! We’ve got some work to do on your wardrobe, of course!” He laughed again, jovially. Someone looking at a row of pants gave the pair a side-eye, but didn’t say anything else. 

 Wilder continued walking, feeling some strange warmth he didn’t usually feel unless he was with Cancer and Bullhorn on a really good day. It was…nice. He momentarily looked back at Buster, seeing his blue eyes flicking from one section to the next, then back down at his feet. 

Those pompous Autobots are going down, Wilder suddenly had the fiery thought, fist clenching. If for no other reason, than to protect this…my only home. For that, I'll take down anyone I'm ordered to, or burn any building. Just you watch.

 “Well then, Buster-san, I’m in your hands. Let’s do this!”

“That’s what I like to hear!”

///