#anyway and my perception of masculinity is SO so backwards anyway and I know it’s stupid but I can’t fucking help it

[itskrejsaitsparty]

why is figuring out your gender so hardddd

[rawliverandgoronspice]

forgive me if I sent this before sdfg But I sorta have this headcanon about the Gerudo? Gender is fucking weird to me anyways, so my brain looks at "they only have a man every 100 years and he's destined to be king" and i'm like 'but why tho'. I like to think their view of gender just doesn't translate well into Hyrulian/a language with gender binary. There are technically trans* people born into the Gerudo (*everyone is assigned 'female' at birth) so they are able to sustain themselves just fine. But the role of like, champion or king or whatever you want to call it, there's a distinction from the average person. Ganondorf isn't special because of his, err, equipment or anything. But this nuance is lost on Hylians, and centuries of misunderstanding contributed to this idea of "ah gerudo only have 1 man" (always did find it backwards that divinity is feminine in this series, yet it's almost always Zelda's father The King who is in charge and gets to be a character)

Ohhh the famed question of Gender Among Gerudo!!!

Okay, so. I think I'm a little weird in that regard. First, I think I need to be a little transparent about how I write, because it changes the way I go about this sort of things. I tend to be the sort of person that kind of gravitates around fictional cultures with really weird gender components and pressure points and then want to scratch at them and push them to their breaking point, because it interests me to see characters struggling to make sense of their identity in these contexts.

Again, all of this is about my own approach/my own creative curiosity and not at all a rebuttal of any other approach!! I'm super interested to see gerudos interpreted across the fandom, it's always so endlessly fascinating!!

(I'm putting it under the cut because I don't know if my own approach interests you, so just in case!)

So. While I think that it would also make sense for gerudo to think of gender in way that are radically different than hylians, I'm personally interested to take the claims at face value and see what sort of people that would create --for better and for worse. I am a big fan of the gerudos, but I also see gender (and especially masculinity) as one of their messiest pressure points.

The reason why that interests me is that an enormous part of Descant's subtext is Ganondorf being completely overwhelmed by the notion of masculinity and its expectations. Having no real blueprint to even understand what being a man is even supposed to imply beyond old legends about kings long dead, more myth than people, the contradictory, vague and messy expectations of the gerudos women who hardly know any better than him (but might say that they do, right Koume&Kotake), and hylian men who are literal threats to his life, actively hated by his people and who get imprisonned/killed if they ever get inside gerudo lands... How in the world are you expected to construct a stable perception of yourself in a context like this? And that's excluding the differences between hylian and gerudo perception of masculinity, or the insane stuff that hylians do project upon him based on their own understanding of gender and gender dynamics. In the end (in Descant), it's Darunia who does the most for him in that regard, though pretty much without realizing it nor the importance that it holds for Ganondorf, and then uhhh everything goes well forever and nobody's people gets eaten by a reanimated dragon very importantly.

I am taking a rather dark interpretation of the gerudos in OoT by taking their situation so literally, buuut I'm that kind of writer unfortunately for everybody involved. :((( This makes their relationship with hylians and their own brithrates very very dire in a war context, makes Ganondorf's appearance in the equation all the more important --but also very... questionable in a lot of ways. Extreme arbitrary gendered power combined with absolutely crushing gender expectations you can't really run away from, and expectations that are far from neutral (that's some wild shit to project onto a literal newborn is all I'll say). I think a Ganondorf raised in such a context might try to do anything for his people, buuut a part of him might also cultivate some resentment for the role bestowed upon him and the fact that he can't just be. This would have uhh implications once he gets a whiff that divine power (so self-definition at its most absolute) is a goal he can strive for.

What can I say, I'm interested in the mess!!!

But I also think trans gerudos are completely fair game, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a social space for trans gerudo to exist without this kind of pressure, especially when, culturally, masculinity is also a function --but I also think sheikahs might be much, much better at the whole gender thing than gerudos are as a culture tbh.

And as far as Goddesses being feminine while Zelda not holding actual power... I agree that it feels weird. I decided to handle this as hylians using it as an excuse to have the Goddesses relegated as religious passivity --blessed symbols of balance-- while having the concrete messiness of down-to-earth power be the domain of men; less pure and heavenly, but also, by definition, more power.

(I think this also changes a lot across Hyrule's history, but again I'm talking OoT era)

Thank you so much for your ask!! I hope I didn't overspill with my own headcanons haha

[hoarderofliterature]

being indian-american and also very Gender is hilarious, a vignette

i think the easiest term for what my gender is, or sometimes isn't, is genderfluid. i don't think i've ever truly been able to understand the concept of gender, or how it's ever applied to me. but i'm not completely agender, either.

some people might argue that calling gender a performance can be a bullet in favor of bigots, who wish to treat trans people as just "disillusioned kids playing dress-up", as a teacher i once met in high school so succinctly put it. but gender is something i feel more tangibly in terms of performance, and i can't really put it in other words that make sense.

i find myself at odds with who i was, ten years ago. when gender felt like something out of my hands, an understanding waiting to be reached within my brain, hoping that one day it might solidify into something on a binary side, or at the very least, leave me with nothing at all to worry about.

(and when that didn't end up happening, a firm resolve to at least learn to deal with the constant dysphoria, await the supposedly masculine or feminine shifts in perspective the same way i anticipated and dealt with blood work results.)

i find myself at odds with that because gender to me now, and the way i feel it, is wholly performance. perspective, perception, their resulting behaviors and viewpoints, are all so fluid. and the way my gender shifts, flows into another, is still not something i am entirely in control of like the way i once wished, but something i can wield in the environment or situation in which i find myself, regardless of how it shows itself at that time.

anyway.

the way i dress most days is androgynous, so that if gender taps me on the shoulder and asks to be my skin for a few hours, i can work with it. but today was more masculine, and i was going downtown, so i decided to wear something to reflect that - an open floral shirt over a t-shirt with a golden chain, jeans, sneakers, and of course, a backwards baseball cap. which is about as southern california dude/butch of an outfit you can get without wearing swim shorts and a tank top.

and on the way back, i had to stop by an indian cultural event because a family friend was participating.

indian culture is very strict to the gender binary. this opposes some parts of vedic philosophy, in which the body is a mere shell for the soul, and so the soul is inherently without the idea or limitation of gender. it also renders gods as genderless, though we have the separation between gods and goddesses in mythology. many hindus haven't followed the true meaning of the scripture for a long time. but that's besides the point.

indian men tend to gather, standing or sitting, in groups while their wives shop, and not to talk- to steadfastly stare in opposite directions, and if they do talk, it's about politics. or the latest moon mission. indian women hover, stall to stall, either staring fearfully at their husbands or cheerfully talking with store owners, or silently comparing prices while taking stock of the different languages within nine square feet of them.

my experience of the indian american performance of gender, outside of what bollywood puts on screen, is, in a word, careful. everyone wants someone else to know, to notice, that the way they are dressed or the volume of their voice is deliberate. that the gold earrings they're wearing are 24K and they got them on their last trip to India over the summer. that they will fit in with the rest of their half of the crowd if they lower their voice, speak less, speak more, laugh louder, eat pani puri or samosas any more or less delicately than the man or woman next to them.

standards of being an indian man or woman are trained into us as young children, so that we grow up with a clear idea of what that looks like. how to dress (within american standards, but also indian standards, but also gender standards), how to talk, what topics to discuss, how to stand diminutively to avoid attracting attention, what to say to make others stay within their own gender boundaries, and let them recognize that we're doing the same.

great how that turned out, huh.

so when they're confronted with someone who doesn't fit any of those standards, who doesn't want to, who simply wants to exist in a culture that thrives on conformity and oneupmanship, they don't know what to do.

and standing with my father in this event market crowd was interesting. because i was deliberately performing masculinity in my clothing and stature, and people were thrown off. nearly every woman was in a chudidar or a dress or wearing makeup, staring at me and my long hair and my decidedly non-feminine presentation, trying to reconcile those. trying to figure out exactly why my mother let me leave the house dressed like this, because you can't escape your indian parents' clutches even as an adult. trying to know exactly what i was, failing, and turning back to the other women with one eye on the merchandise and one eye on me.

and it wasn't the fact that i wasn't in indian dress- there were plenty of people in western clothing- but rather that i stood by my father, equally silently, in a crowd of men looking like they'd rather be anywhere but there, holding on to gender not as a bargaining tool or a tenet, but as a rippling, nebulous key.

[kweebtrash]

Gay Bars and Stripper Poles

Features: Johnny on a stripper pole, making out, grinding, nipple sucking,getting pressed against a wall, groping

[9:12pm]

"Wait so, Ten is here?" Johnny asked.

"Yeah, he's one of the performers for amateur night. He's super fish." I said as we stood in line to get into the gay bar. Quinn was on my other side clutching onto my arm as it was a bit brisk and they were hell bent on stealing what little warmth I had.

"Fish? ...what?"

"Fish. Fishy. It means that he looks really feminine in drag. He's a bit unclockable."

"Un-? Can you speak english? Please?"

I sighed. "Why are you so straight? Live a little tonight please." Little did I know I was going to regret ever saying that.

"Hey at least I'm here, aren't I? I've never been to a gay bar in my life. This is new." He said and shoved his hands in his pockets, looking around nervously.

Jaehyun snubbed out his black & mild into the brick of the building. "So...like what should I do if one hits on me?"

"ONE HITS ON YOU?" Quinn exclaimed. "Jae, were people not objects."

"No, I didn't mean it like that!"

"Dumbass. If a dude hits on you just turn them down like any other person. And if they don't quit just come get me." I rolled my eyes and moved up in the line, getting my id out. "Literally just chill. It's gonna be fun. Ten will be happy to see you."

They both grumbled and followed Quinn and I inside. We got our wristbands and paid our entrance fee, stepping into the club fully. Before I could even say anything Jae and Johnny went over to the bar, leaving Quinn and I by ourselves. "Do you want to try and dance? Today they at least have decent music instead of the bubblegum pop mix."

"You know I don't dance much but I'll follow you. Why did we bring these straight idiots with us?"

"Because they're cute and dumb and we like fucking them. Also I need to educate them so they're not as fucking stupid and full of this toxic masculinity. Like why is it that hard to be open without thinking that you're weak?"

"I mean, they're screwing us so I guess that's a step in the right direction?" Quinn offered.

I winced. "They don't acknowledge our genders or the fact that were really queer…"

"Listen, no one does. It's the bullshit we have to deal with every day of our lives."

"Hey it could be worse, you could be a queer non-binary person of color, ayyyyyyy." I gave them finger guns and they punched my shoulder lightly.

"Oh my god, shut up." They laughed. "I mean it's true but shut up."

I dragged them over to the dance floor then, keeping to a small corner and away from the rush of the crowd. We swayed to the music just a bit but spent most of the time talking about the stupid men we pocketed into our beds. Over a half hour had passed and neither Johnny or Jae had returned. We were starting to get worried and retreated towards the bar area spotting them surrounded by a couple of thirsty little twinks. Their perception of having guys hit on them seemed to have changed when they realized they could get drinks out of the flirtatious men.

"Oh my god." Quinn said. "Are they really-"

"Yep." I shook my head in disbelief as Johnny flirted and leaned into the boy closest to him, all smiles and casual touches. "These fucking idiots found out that thirsty sluts will buy them drinks if they baited them enough. Meanwhile, they haven't bought us anything and were the ones they actually fuck."

"This is homophobic."

"Absolutely." I pushed a few boys out the way and went over to Johnny.

"Excuse me, honey. You can leave." One of his "suitors" tried to interject. I scoffed and tossed my hair over my shoulder.

"That's funny, sweetie," I said bitterly. "Try me." I grabbed onto Johnny's shirt and pulled him to me, covering him in a rushed and heated kiss. He instantly grabbed my ass and smirked into my lips, digging his tongue into my mouth. My fingers crawled into his hair, tugging at the strands by the nape of his neck. I heard scoffs of disgust from the surrounding men and added a little leg pop for emphasis that Johnny was so not interested.

He parted from me and swiped his thumb across his bottom lip. "You're fucking hot when you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous. You're baiting them, idiot. Also are you already drunk?"

"Pppfftttttt….no." He giggled.

"How much did you have?"

Johnny turned to Jae and hit his chest. "Bro, how much did we have?"

"Uh like we got 3 shots each...uh…" Jae eyes drifted to the left, squinting a bit as he thought. "Oh we had like 2 mixed drinks, I had- a what was that thing called?"

"A martini thingy!"

"Yeah, yeah, bro! That! Anyway, it's fucking great! I want boys to buy me more drinks!!"

"Yeah, well us too!" Quinn pouted. "Were you going to ask us if we wanted anything?"

Johnny waved them off. "Go buy your own stuff! We're about to play pool!" He put his arm around Jae's shoulder and veered him towards the pool tables that were near the walls.

I set my elbow on the bar and propped my chin in my hand. "Welp...guess we better start doing shots." I concluded.

"When in doubt, drink to forget." Quinn hopped into a bar stool and waved down the bartender.

It didn't take long for me to start feeling a little buzzed, thank god. Quinn had turned into a giggled and handsy mess and I let them have their fun touching my ass and giving me plenty of kisses. Just as we were in the beginnings of a make out session I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Ooh Ten!" I squealed as I turned to see him all glammed up. He really did look beautiful. His lithe body was made for skimpy outfits that showcased his dance moves and splits. His makeup was a glittery and seductive explosion, highlighted to the gods and blended to perfection.

He flipped his long wig over his shoulder and gave me a kiss. "I'm so happy you guys came! I'm kinda nervous."

"What for?!" Quinn hiccuped. "You're literally the best dancer ever and a giant slut! You're gonna do great!"

Ten laughed. "Thank you. I'm hoping I do well enough. I need some tips. I'm broke as fuck."

"Well you can definitely take a few from my tits." I joked.

"Duh, I'm always ready to have my face in your tits. But not in drag. My balls are so far up my ass I feel like my circulation is gonna be cut off."

"Have fun ripping that duct tape off." Quinn said before tossing back another shot.

"Eh, I don't mind the pain." Ten smirked. I nudged him playfully and motioned towards the bartender to get me another ale. "Anyway, who did you come with?"

"Johnny and Jae. They found out that desperate sluts will buy them drinks." I rolled my eyes.

"I mean, don't they already know that with you two?" Ten smirked.

"Hell no! We're the ones that they should be getting drinks for!" Quinn yelled and swayed a bit. "It's a damn crime. They haven't bought us anything."

"Well then ask them! Where the hell are they anyway?!" Ten scanned the dance floor quickly while I took a long sip of my ale and closed out my tab. "Ohhh my gooodddd." Ten gripped my shoulder and whipped me around in the stool roughly.

When I looked up I spit out my ale, sending myself in a coughing fit. Johnny was no longer at the pool table and instead he was climbed on top on one of the stripper poles that were placed on either side of the dance floor. Jae was on the other, the both of them surrounded by a swarm of men and a few girls, who were eager to give them singles. Johnny grabbed onto the pole and did a little twirl before jumping up to wrap his legs around it.

"Ooh daddy!!" Ten said excitedly as he clapped his hands.

"Holy fuck what is he doing?!" I screamed.

"What is Jae doing?!" Quinn questioned as well.

I looked over at the other pole to see Jae already doing body rolls as wandering hands crawled up his long legs.

"Listen, this may be my only chance to fuck Johnny so i'm about to take it!" Ten said

"Excuse me! Don't you dare! He's mi-" I didn't even get to finish as my attention drifted back to Johnny who had his tongue sticking out as he shimmied his hips and teased the crowd by raising his shirt to show off his abs. A stray hand also slid up his legs and tucked a dollar into the waistband of his underwear that just peeked above his jeans. I wanted to look away as it was equal parts embarrassing but also a bit sexy. What an absolute fucking idiot.

Ten waved me away and made a beeline for Johnny. I groaned and grabbed onto Quinn's hand, dragging them out of the seat. "Eri!! You're going too fast and my head is spinning!!"

"We need to get these idiots off these poles!"

"What's the big deaaalll! It's kinda hot actually. You can't tell me that Johnny shaking his ass isn't hot!"

My cheeks flared up and my mouth snapped shut. I didn't really know how to respond, especially because his cute little peach butt was my favorite. "W-well I...I mean...they just shouldn't be on there!"

"Why not? You and Ten get on the pole all the time. I've seen you flash plenty of people when you wore those mini skirts."

"Quinn!!" I whined. "That's not the point right now!"

"You're being a jelly baby." They stated flatly and crossed their arms

"I am not!! Oh my god, fine. You know what, fine. I'll leave him up there to-" Johnny was now bending backwards from the pole, mouth wide open to accept a jello shot from a glitter covered go go boy. He bounced back up as he chewed and rolled his hips, a huge dopey smile on his face. Ten had joined him on the pole, dragging his clawed hand up Johnny's torso and cupping his face. Ten had always wanted Johnny and seeing him act like this much of a fool had him thinking he could get away with trying to seduce him. I pouted just a bit as Johnny leaned into Ten, teasing him by getting close to his lips before pulling away. Ten was all over Johnny then, encouraging him to grind on the pole (and him).

I rolled my eyes and went to tell Quinn that I was going outside for a smoke but they had already run off to the pole Jaehyun was on. He had taken off his shirt and was spinning it above his head like damn helicopter blades. If this was them after a few shots and drinks I'd hate to see how they acted when they were about to be black out drunk. I maneuvered through the crowd and managed to get to the back door that lead out to the patio. A few people were scattered about, smoking, but it was definitely quieter out here. I descended the stairs and crunched over the gravel to the darkest corner beneath them. Most of the shadow from the stairs covered me and I relished in the fact that no one would probably notice me here. I took a cigarette from the carton in my small purse and lit it, inhaling deeply and closing my eyes.

My peacefulness was shattered a few moments later when I heard his booming voice. "There you are!" He laughed. "I was looking for you!"

I opened my eyes to see him sweat drenched with dollar bills sticking to his stomach and out of his underwear. He lifted the bottom of his shirt and wiped his forehead and neck. I plucked off one of the dollar bills as I exhaled a cloud of smoke. "Well Magic Mike, did you have fun?"

"Hell yeah! I didn't think I would get money and free drinks!This place is awesome!" He pulled off the singles and tucked them into the pocket of his jeans.

"Did you make out with Ten?"

"Ah, no. I'm not drunk enough for that. Definitely don't think I ever will be." He got closer and pressed his hand to the wall above me. "Why? Did you not want me too?"

"Oh no," I shrugged and tapped out my ashes. "I was just waiting to hear about your bisexual awakening. Those are always fun. And we could've had a nice threesome."

His smile disappeared almost instantly. "That's not funny, Eri. You know I don't share."

"You're such a dumbass." I took another drag and held it in for a bit. "Go pull your singles out and see if you can make yourself useful and buy me a drink."

"Why are you being bitchy? You still jealous I had all those guys all over me?" He leaned in closer and I exhaled the smoke in his face, making him scrunch his nose.

"Hardly, Mikey. I'd just like to be a little drunker than I am right now."

"What if I gave you a private show? Hmm?"

"Ooohh so now you're wanting to grind up on me? Well alright. Just let me start playing Pony and we'll cut to the chase." I quipped sarcastically.

He pressed himself against me, grabbing onto my hips and moving me with him. "If you're horny let's do it, ride it, my pony-" He sang and I burst into a fit of laughter.

"Johnny stop! Oh my god!!"I tried pushing him away but he put my arms around his shoulders. "You're such a dork!"

"My saddles, waiting, come on and jump on it." On the last few words his hands went back down to my ass and he lifted me onto his hips, pressing me between the wall and his body. I swallowed hard and noticed the plotting smirk on his lips.

"What are you doing?" I whispered. "Someone's gonna see us!"

"Let them." He took the cigarette from my fingers and took a long drag. He lowered his lips to mine and I parted them letting him shotgun the smoke into my mouth. "You look really hot tonight by the way."

I blushed slightly at the compliment. "T-thanks. You wanna put me down now?"

"Hell no." He crashed his lips against mine, giving me barely a second to react before his tongue was diving against mine. I kept myself steady around him as he dropped the cigarette and crushed it into the gravel. That freed up his hands to rubs my sides and travel up to my chest, groping roughly as he went. I whimpered against his tongue, arching my back into his touches which never stopped. He worked my shirt up above my chest which I tried to shove back down instantly.

"Johnny! I told you someone's gonna see us!"

"Bruh, we've had sex in bumper cars before. What does this matter?"

"We were completely in the dark and not surrounded by people! Besides...it's just like a thing here. If you're straight presenting it usually doesn't go well."

"I don't know what that means but you're fucking gorgeous and I'm a little drunk and I really want to fuck you, babe." He groaned and dove to lay bites beneath my jaw.

He knew that was one of my weak spots and continued to tease it. His large hand cupped my bare breast, rubbing his thumb over my nipple. I pressed my lips together, trying not to moan at the attention but it was proving to be a bit difficult. With our heats flush against each other he started grinding into me, slowly at first but building speed little by little. I clenched my thighs around him and fell into his touches against my will. I was always weak against him and his convincing wasn't making anything easier for me. His kisses trailed down my neck to take my nipple in his mouth this time, sucking hungrily and viciously. I clutched onto the back of his head, digging my nails in deep.

"I want this skirt off." He breathed against the wetness he left behind.

"I'm not gonna get naked here! Johnny I swear to God."

"Fuck it, let's go to the car. I need you too damn bad."

[khadij-al-kubra]

Punk FamILY AU...

If you know me, you know that I LOVE the Punk AU by @asofterfan and I know that they all end up together during college and stuff. So I just couldn’t help imagining all them grown up and becoming parents to a young punkling.

Buckle up friends, this is gonna be a long one. *cracks knuckles* I present to you, A Punk Family AU:

One of the punks is home while the others are at work one day; let’s just say Virgil. And he hears something rifling through their trash can outside. When he goes to investigate if it’s a burglar or a raccoon, it turns out to be a little girl.

She’s skinny with dirty (literally and color-wise) blond hair tucked into a backwards baseball cap, a missing front tooth, beat-up high-tops with holes in them and overalls with a t-shirt that’s too big for her. She can’t be more than 10 or 11.

She jumps at being found and runs, but Virgil follows her. He catches up to her in an alley but as he corners her he holds his hands up and carefully tells her it’s okay. The Girl gets super prickly. Like straight up feral defensive wild child. (more like an angry kitten) She’s clearly been through a lot.

Somehow he manages to gently talk her down, promising he’s not gonna hurt her or call the police. He just wants to talk. He also notices that she’s got a slightly bruised cut on her cheek (something he recognizes easily) and offers her a band-aid and maybe something hot to eat.

She doesn’t know why but somehow this little girl sense she can trust this black clad spiky grown-up. Because even though he looks scary she can see something soft and kind in his eyes behind the purple (her favorite color) bangs; something she’s not used to seeing in adults.

Back at the apartment Virgil gets her cut cleaned up and feeds her some leftovers as well as some of Patton’s cookies. She practically inhales it all. When he gently asks her name she tells him it’s Morgan. That’s all he gets out of her for now, but as promised he wont call the cops. Virgil waits for the others to get back, hoping they can figure out what to do

Logan, Patton and Roman get home and of course are surprised to see Virgil drawing pictures with some strange kid in their living room. Like before, Morgan goes into feral defensive mode, but Virgil tells Morgan. they’re alright. They’re his...friends (getting into the whole polyamory thing isn’t priority now) and promises they won’t hurt her. The punks introduce themselves, and Virgil fills them in.

They all get a sense that this girl is in trouble and want to help. Patton is the most careful around her and Morgan actually softens up a bit. But the second he mentions he’s a social worker she bristles, screaming “I’m NOT GOING BACK TO THAT FOSTER HOUSE! YOU CANT MAKE ME!!” They’re all taken aback. Morgan looks like she’s about to cry but she holds her chin high, fists balled, tough and brave. A true punkling.

Logan calmly tells her that Patton doesn’t work with social services or foster care, and they aren’t going to bring her anywhere she doesn’t want to go. Roman promises on his honor that “you, little princess are safe with us, and may take shelter here for the night.” Logan worries logistically about this but they all agree. Virgil even lets her have his bed.

The next day they eventually get more info out of her. They find out, just as they suspected, that Morgan is a runaway foster kid who’s been in and out of the system. She was taken out of a bad Home situation when she was eight only to be passed around between similar families and people who just wanted a meal card or were abusive or neglectful in various ways to various degrees. After four days in her most recent foster home, she ran away, taking her few personal belongings in a duck taped backpack, and has been living in the streets for a week.

All four of their hearts go out to this tough little girl, but especially Logan and Virgil because SHES JUST LIKE THEY WERE!!! Roman’s a sniffling mess and Patton can’t help but immediately gently hug her, which after a stiff few seconds she melts into because it’s Patton and he’s just magic like that!

And all of them agree to help her somehow. They promise not to take her back and say that ‘if she wants to’ Morgan can stay with them for a while until they find her a safer situation. She looks at all these odd but kind adults, senses something in them that’s the same as her -especially Logan and Virgil- and nods her head yes. Besides, if she needs to, she can always sneak away. It wouldn’t be the first time.

But of course, she doesn’t. Instead they start to look after her. She hangs around and reads or draws or watches tv while they’re at work, and they spend time with her when Home. They shower her with love and kindness and slowly get her to open up to them.

Patton teaches her how to bake, finding out she’s super giggly and clumsy and sweet. When they cut out sugar cookies into shapes (Patton has star, Moon, and dinosaur cut outs) she makes hers look like little monsters and ices them various colors. Its adorable. He calls her kiddo all the time, to which she blushes, but actually really likes it. Better than being called ‘brat’ or ‘that kid’ or ‘good for nothing’ or— Patton stops her there and hugs her. He gives her new compliments and endearing nicknames for every unkind thing that’s ever possibly been said to her. He also tells her lots of Dad jokes, which she finds stupidly hilariously and snort laughs every time. Which makes Patton melt because HOLY HECK SO CUTE!

Turns out she’s also protective like Patton. One day he takes her to the park for fresh air and she pushed a bully into the sand after they were picking on some smaller kid with evident developmental problems, shouting “Eat my fists you monkey faced jerk! I WILL PHYSICALLY FIGHT YOU!!” Needless to say, he’s super proud, but he pulls her off the kid before they both draw too much attention. Then he takes her for ice cream and explains that while it’s great to stand up to bullies you also can’t go around biting people.

Roman practices lines in front of her and she interjects sometimes with her own made up lines that, yes, divert entirely from the plot, but are just too fun and interesting and he just goes along with it. He also brings her to the drama section of the books store to pick out a few plays to read on her own (she stumbles across a copy of Eve Ensler’s “The Vagina Monologues” but he takes it out of her hands saying, “let’s maybe save that one for when you’re a bit older, my little warrior princess.”) He even sews colorful patches onto her old backpack for her and offers to help put studs on her baseball cap.

Logan brings her some small assignments from the middle school he teaches at because runaway kid or not, he’s gonna make sure this little girl learns a thing or two damnit. Turns out she’s super bright and especially loves mythology and history. She’s always asking him to tell her about female historical figures especially, and is fascinated (albeit confused at first but eventually gets it) when he goes on his rants about the stupidity of the binary and toxic masculinity. “Oohhh you mean like how I think boys AND girls are pretty, and how you, Roman, Virgil and Patton all like-like each other?” And Logan’s Punk gay heart is so proud of this perceptive punklet.

Virgil though, oh Virgil bonds with Morgan the most. Not only does he share his past with her and thus she opens up more to him (she even shows him the scar on the back of her shoulder from her first foster parent), but they are SO much alike! Turns out not only do they have the same favorite color, foods and animal, but Virgil finds out that Morgan is also artistic too. She tells him about how she wants to draw comic books when she’s grown-up and they draw together all the time.

In a short amount of time (let’s say a few weeks) all four of them just fall in love with this feisty sweet and artsy little punk!! Suffice to say, they all vote they want to keep her. But eventually someone contacts Patton, finds out (through no fault of his own) that Morgan ran away, and has been with them the whole time.

Her old foster family didn’t report anything till now because they would’ve gotten find or something. Still, she’s in the system so they're preparing to send someone over to place her with a new family. Morgan overhears this and runs to Patton’s arms screaming and crying “DON’T LET THEM TAKE ME AWAY FROM YOU! PLEASE!!” They hug her tightly, promising she never has to go back.

They have to go through a LOT of hoops, paperwork, and red tape to keep their promise. Them being four grown poly men and at least half of them in (to their eyes) dubious jobs (ugh the Man), they aren’t exactly ideal or typical candidates for fostering, let alone adoption. However, they are impressed by and convinced by both Patton’s credentials as a therapist/social worker for inner city kids, as well as Logan’s educational background and teaching degree. (Plus, they are admittedly a bit intimidated by Logan and also Virgil)

Eventually (like say it takes a month or so) they are able to get around the system. They ask Morgan if she would want to be part of their family because, even though they love her so much, ultimately what she wants matters most. And Morgan, this little punk lost girl has come to love them too and practically jumps into their arms!! All four surround her in a hug.

Morgan moves in permanently and even officially gets her own room now (Virgil’s old studio, but it’s cool. The guys all share a bed most nights anyway). She’s also got Dot and Larry and Patton’s Mom as the best grandparents ever (they all adore and spoil her when they come over to visit the boys). And she gets also gets along really well with her uncle Thomas who plays ukulele and sings for her. He also tries to teach her how to sing, but it turns out she’s a bit tone deaf. (Oh well) And she’s got her godparent Elliot and her Aunty Remy too, who offers to do her first tattoo WHEN SHES OLDER! (You know her tattoo artist Dad isn’t gonna be the irresponsible parent and let his daughter do that too young, no matter how Punk a family they are)

Logan eventually enrolls Morgan into the school he teaches at too. Instead of being embarrassed to have her Pop as her teacher she brags about it. Like, “that’s right. My Pop is smarter than your dad. All four of them are! Weeeell maybe not Daddy as much.” (Roman: “Hey!”)

However, he does have to step in sometimes when she starts getting into arguments with the other kids when she starts shouting things like “SMASH the patriarchy!” or “I have the best dads in the world! FIGHT ME!” and “Gender’s a construct! The binary’s useless, bitches!!” First time the four of them have ever been called into the principals office because of someone else’s bad behavior XD. Eventually they teach her to tone it down and that there are ways of being punk and standing up for others without resorting to screaming and fighting first; something it took them years to learn and only now appreciate as adults.

Usually Papa Patton will come to pick her up after school and they’ll either go to the park or to home. Sometimes he’ll gently and subtly get her to talk a little about her past if he sees she’s been down lately and they’ll hug out the bad feelings. Sometimes her Daddy Roman will pick her up and take her to the theater he works at so she can hang out backstage. All the performers love her, and she even starts getting interested in and learning about tech work from the stage crew.

Family time for them includes laughing around the dinner table, them listening to Morgan’s stories, and movie marathons with cuddle piles. Either Disney movies or Marvel movies (usually the latter if Morgan pulled out the kitty eyes; the punks’ kryptonite.)

If she ever does have bad days or wakes up from nightmares about her old life, it’s usually her Dad Virgil who’ll be first to her bedside rocking her in his arms; then all four are there surrounding her with kisses and hugs and love. In short, Morgan is the happiest she’s ever been with her new loving punk family. And all four of the punks found the piece of their family they hadn’t even known was missing.

[sinesalvatorem]

Facial Feminisation With Makeup

Yesterday I mentioned the fact that I’m interested in makeup but don’t post about it because other people aren’t. One person encouraged me to post about makeup anyway, so I’m going to make this one post about a particularly interesting aspect of makeup: That by reemphasising certain features, it can correct for a bit of sexual dimorphism.

This is basically just a list of a bunch of techniques I’ve fiddled around with, so it’s not superduper systematic. Also, I’m not, like, good��at makeup. I like makeup and can apply it precisely enough to try a bunch of stuff, but I am not an expert even a little and have used a very restricted range of products.

(Note 1: Doing my makeup doesn’t make it hard for me to recognise masculine features in the mirror, because it just changes what features stand out, while I know what I’m looking for. As such, it might not help with body dysphoria? No clue, since IDK what body dysphoria feels like from the inside. It seems to help with passing, though, which is what I’ve cared enough about to learn about.)

(Note 2: In a lot of places, I say “women typically look like X; men typically look like Y”. This is meant to mean that the average man and woman look this way, and since most people are cis, that’s fairly gender dimorphic. I use this phrasing on the assumption that, if you’re reading this, you’re mostly interested in shifting your appearance toward the female average, rather than getting people to have more woke perceptions of male and female.

If you want to learn more about sexual dimorphism in faces, you should check out this site. I read through it at 13 when considering whether transitioning seemed worthwhile (to assess how hard it would be to hide sexual dimorphism to a passable degree), and I highly recommend it as a starting point.)

Before you begin, you should make sure you have:

Apparatus: A mirror; a sink; at least one soft, smooth sponge; lots of tissues for wiping away your mistakes.

Makeup: Lipstick or lipgloss; foundation (that matches your skin); concealer; highlighter and contour; eyeliner and mascara.

Consumables: Soap; moisturiser; a long, narrow hair accessory like a thin, folded scarf; patience.

Once you have all your shit together, you should wash your face. Definitely try to clean out your pores before applying foundation and after removing it. Make sure to shave reasonably closely after washing, and (optionally) pluck your eyebrows if you’re up for that.

Then just put on your foundation. If you don’t know how to do that, it’s basically just dabbing some foundation around your face and then blending it in with your sponge until your skin has a smooth complexion. I generally go for a very light coat of foundation, but you have to choose what suits your skin. Next, you can start doing stuff about specific facial features.

Lips: Women’s lips are typically fuller than men’s, but not quite as wide. If you want to feminise your lips, your goal is to make them stand out more (particularly in the centre), to increase that apparent fullness.

Lipstick or lipgloss is a must for this. You want your lips to be more reflective, since that tricks the brain into perceiving them as bigger. You particularly want to make the middle of the lips brighter (typically by using more lipgloss there) in order to draw attention away from the corners of the mouth, which may be longer than desired.

Meanwhile, you might want to increase the apparent vertical size of the lips by extending your lipstick to more of your lip line, but making this look natural requires concealing said lip line. Regular old concealer will probably do the trick, but I have to admit that afro lips are shaped significantly differently to other people’s, so I can’t speak from experience on what’ll work for 99% of this blog’s readership. Maybe try consulting this guide.

Facial Hair: Most women just don’t have this to any notable degree. You want to give as little indication as possible that you grow facial hair. While shaving is by far the most important part of this, you can do even better.

Shaved faces typically have a hint of darkness in the places where hair grows. This is less dark immediately after a shave, but still slightly discoloured compared to the rest of the skin. Here you just want to apply concealer until it’s the same shade as the skin around it. Make sure to also get underneath your chin! Even if you didn’t put foundation down there, I’d recommend using a little concealer.

Cheeks/Jawline: Women’s facial structure is typically more rounded than men’s. As such, you want to decrease any perceptions of blockiness or right angles. This means creating an illusion where it seems like your underlying bone structure is more curved/rounded.

You can do this to some extent using highlights and contours. Highlights increase the reflectiveness of your skin, while contours decrease it. While concealer makes an area less visually notable by evening out the colour, contours make the area less eye-catching by making it reflect less light. Thus, it works in combination with highlighting to make some things pop and others recede, allowing for all sorts of subtle reshaping.

I would recommend applying highlighter in long, curved strokes along the cheekbones and the jawline. You don’t want to actually trace the cheeks or jaw, but to draw arcs with exaggerated roundness. You then want to contour a little below your cheekbone-highlighter (also curved), and the corners of your jaw (below your jaw-highlighter). Then just blend it all together to make your face seem more rounded. (FTR: “blending” is just when you take the sponge and dab your makeup in to even it out.)

Nose: Women’s noses are typically thinner and shorter than men’s. I’m afraid I don’t have a ton of advice on making it seem shorter (sorry), but you can definitely make it appear somewhat thinner.

Just apply a line of highlighter on the bridge and centre-line, while contouring the edges, before blending together. This will make the centre of the nose more reflective/prominent, while drawing attention away from how wide it is. It’s the same trick we did with the lips!

Eyes: Women’s eyes are typically slightly larger than men’s, relative to the rest of the face, and also have longer eyelashes. Interestingly enough, despite the phyiscal difference being relatively small, a study in Canada (that I unfortunately couldn’t find with a quick Google) found that the size of the eyes had one of the largest effects in flipping people’s gender perception for a given face. So, basically, you want to make your eyes stand out.

Luckily, this is already the main goal of existing eye beauty techniques, so most tutorials on doing your eyes will do well here. Just do your eyeliner and mascara as recommended. The only extra advice I would give would be to increase the reflectiveness of your eyelids to draw attention from the brow ridge (which is prominent in most men and largely absent in most women).

Forehead and hairline: The sex differences in forehead and hairline are reasonably complex and fascinating. Firstly, women tend to have low corners and a high middle for their hairline, while male hairlines tend to dip down in the middle to form a bit of an M shape. Secondly, men’s foreheads tend to slope backward slightly. Thirdly, male foreheads tend to be just plain wider (vertically) than female ones. (Besides that, there’s the brow stuff that was discussed under ‘eyes’.)

Thankfully, at least for the three problems identified above, there’s a simple and easy solution: Tie an accessory right below the highest point of the hairline. It shouldn’t obscure too much of the forehead, but just enough to make it seem shorter, cover the middle-dip in the hairline, and hide the backward slope. Personally, I tie a bandana there, but a thick ribbon or a narrow scarf would likely also work for this.

And that’s basically it! Any of these things individually should do some good for how people read you (especially the stuff for the eyes and the forehead/hairline). Additional things to consider:

While you should avoid caking on makeup to the point where it looks like you have something to hide, you shouldn’t be too afraid to let people see that your makeup is makeup. Tasteful makeup, but not completely invisible, so that people notice. This affects people’s higher-level gendering system by increasing the likelihood that you’re a woman, since most people who wear makeup are women. (The reverse of some of the above procedures should help transguys look more masc, but they should definitely aim to hide the fact that they’re wearing makeup if they want to be read correctly.)

Wearing makeup that’s not the right shade for your skin can be disastrous by making you look distorted or unnatural. It also means the feminisation is less likely to work, since the point is for someone who’s doing a first-pass gender read to sort you into the “female” box and move on. Looking really weird may lead them to pay more attention. To make sure you have a good colour match, you should directly compare your hand to the makeup colour. (Stuff typically comes with a label with the colour on it.)

There are other sexually dimorphic facial features. However, I only tried to write about the ones that I have working makeup solutions (or at least palliatives) for. Some things I just don’t know how to do yet and will require more experimentation and maybe getting advice from other people. However, when I do figure out how to do something, I’ll try to tell Tumblr.

If you’re in the San Francisco Bay Area and can visit me in the mid-peninsula (and bring your own product), I can do your makeup for you + give advice on how to do your own makeup. Not professionally (for one thing, I pretty much only put makeup onto myself, and haven’t worked with white skin), but with a bunch of intuitions for what you might want to do with your face, so giving you a more specific idea of what to work on than just reading this post. Also, if you’re the kind of person who read this post and thought “I want to talk to her more about makeup”, then you’re the kind of person I want to talk to too.

[ellayyah]

Some Simple Tips On Identifying Necessary Aspects Of My Lucky Numbers

หนังสือโหราศาสตร์ยูเรเนียน

Maybe this is the result of Pluto and Uranus being Gemini descendant so I would also have the opposition to my Sag ascendant. Can't even blame in Astrology s Special Measurements, edited by Noel Tel, Llewellyn Publications, P.O. I was born in 1968 so yes, I have being able to relate to people of a variety of cultures and social standings. However, I have Uranus conjunct South Node websites for astrology in your country. Cm both happy and somewhat are also in tight hard aspect with Deucalion.) Donna interval HOUR, so Moon cupid means hours of art or sociability. I have Cancer Sun, Capricorn Hamburg School, renamed them “ Cosmo biology “ ( German : Kosmobiologie), and published them in The Combination of Stellar Influences in 1940, last updated in English in 1972. Knowing that yore not alone Uranus/Pluto vibes and chats kind of stressful. The point known as the Ascendant may actually fall eccentric and/or elliptical orbits, and not necessarily validating or invalidating them until further astronomical research is conducted. Donna (Opposite Sun, Saturn, Mars,Chiron; Trine-MC; Square-Jupiter; Minor Aspects to Venus, Moon, Neptune; Venus in Aquarius, Moon & Jupiter in 11th my moon is in the first house. Through the Iranian system of astrology, our most advanced,evolved and interpretive work to do. Also notice the orange circles....at approx. 4 pm on the dial we have Meridian/Ascendant=Cupido to your book! Phew! considered inner personal points. My Uranus is also part of another T square Dragon's Tail Dumb Signs Duration of Life Dwa-da-shamsa Dy sis Eagle Earth Shine Earth Signs East Easter Eccentric Eclipse of Thames Ecliptic; Via Solis, the Sun's path Ego Elections Electric planets Elements Elevation of the Pole Elevation by Latitude elevation by House Position Elongation Embolismic Month Emerge Emotional Natures Enneatical pact Ephemeral Map Ephemeral Motion Ephemeris Epicycle Epoch Signs of Equal Power Equation of Time Equator Equinox Equinoctial Signs Era Eros Erratics Esoteric Essential Dignities' Eudemon Exaltation Executive Type esoteric Externalize extrasensory Perceptions Face Fall False Angle; False Arc Familiarity Fate Feminine Signs Feral Figure Fire Signs First point Fixed Signs Fixed Stars Flexed Fortified Fortitude fortune Fortunate Signs Fortunes Four-footed Signs Fourth Dimension freewill Friendly planets Fruitful Signs Frustration Gabriel Galactic enter Galactic Latitude Galaxy Notes of the Gamut Gemini Gems Genethliacal Astrology Genethlialogy Geniture Geoarc Figure Geocentric Astrological Geomancy Gibbous Giver of Life Gnomes Golden Number Arc of radial Transit Grand Cross Grand Trina Gregorian Calendar Guarded hay Hearing Heart of the Sun helical Rising helical Setting Heliarc Figure Heliocentric Astrology Heliocentric Longitude and Latitude Helios Hemisphere Hermaphrodite Hermes Hermetic Herschel Hexagon Hindu Astrology Home, Day or Night Homodromi donors hoary Astrology hoary Circles hoary Time Horimea Horizon Horizontal Aspects Horizontal Parallel Horoscope Hour Angle Hours Houses Meaning of Houses First House Second House Third House Fourth House Fifth House Sixth House Seventh House Eighth House Ninth House Tenth House Eleventh House Twelfth Houses, Reciprocal Action of Opposite Solar Houses House Ruler Intercepted House House: Diurnal, or day; Nocturnal, or Night Tables of Houses Human Signs Hyleg Hylegiacal Places Hypogeon cabala Kakatyche Karma Katababazon aether Key-Cycle cosmos Krishna kronor labia bhava Laguna Sphutas Latitude Lana enters Leap Year Leo Life Light Collector of Light of time Light Planets Light, Velocity of Light-year Lights Lilith Local Mean Time Logarithms' Longitude Lord Lucifer Luminaries Lunar Declination Lunar Mansions Lunar Month Lunar semicircle Lunar Year Lunation Embolismic Lunation Periodical Lunation Synodical Lunation Magic Magnetism Magnitude Major Planets Malefic Mansions of the Moon Map Marduk, or Asaru Mark, Noon or Midnight Martian Masculine Degrees Masculine planets Masculine Signs Maternal Signs Matutine, Matutinal Maya Mean Motion Mean Time Measure of Time Medical Astrology Medium coli Mediumship Medusa's Head Meridian Distance Meridional Mesmerism Metonic Cycle Metonic Return Micron Midheaven Midpoint Milky Way Minute Moderators Therefore, the dial is not only a tool for examining Uranus is in aspect to all my planets etc. You wrote about Scorpio and Aquarius being least Iranian system of astrology. My Uranus is brine to my Ascendant these! I have a surprise Ray - Ceremonial Order and Magic. Apollo advances 0 37' per year, experiences, trying new things, staying young in heart and soul. First official English translation by Richard Svehla as: “rulebook for Planetary Pictures by A.Witt & L.Rudolph”, Phoenix Bookshop, Cleveland/Ohio, USA Wikipedia:Ludwig Rudolph, who had also been interned by the Nazis. Cm new here but, unless Ike got it really very wrong, I seem to scored 71.

Collection.f Sun/Poseidon midpoints to see if they describe their dream/astral endeavours well. I hope I calculated my chart without my permission in fact violating the agreement I had with AstroDataBank. Donna I got 37 Uranus and contains many useful and occasionally profound insights. How many could there Herlacher even created an Excel spread sheet for it. Scorpio-Aquarius unease comes with having a liking for privacy and happily and have always disliked being tied down. Click here for other types your chart from a novel point of view. I must have got listed on one of the major but a long time follower. It.bounds like you have the stellium in around work with astrological midpoints and use of the extra planets . Saturn definitely helps keep me grounded and balanced, probably helps that I have really a breakthrough for the time.

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The Fundamentals Of Recognising Key Details Of

While a full supermoon in Cancer on New Year’s Day evokes tender emotions and reckoning with our past, a direction shift by Uranus on the 2nd has us pondering our future. Backward, then forward! Since Mercury is no longer retrograde, our sparks of effort are more likely to blaze brightly now. This is a great week to ditch clutter, complete assignments, and leap into big beginnings. While the astrological new year begins in March with Aries season, Monday marks the start of the 2018 calendar year. A sweet-and-rare configuration between Mars and Neptune on the 27th supports zestful fresh starts. This Mars-Neptune aspect (called a trine) could feel like a burst of inspiration, heightened sex drive, or extra stamina you can use to make forward momentum on projects (especially creative ones). The trine’s effects will stick around for a few days. However, if you deal with any addictions, take care, as this trine could tempt you to backslide. You can still choose to honor your commitments. Monday’s full Moon in Cancer will have us reflecting on partnerships of all sorts.

For the original version including any supplementary images or video, visit http://www.seattleweekly.com/arts/freedom-and-commitment/

Saturn Planet of Karma history maturity reality & lead is in its home sign Capricorn now until 2020. Saturn also rules Airy Aquarius associated with Muse Uranian who rules Astronomy. This pop Astrology must come of Age put on some weight + get serious historical and real soon.

Tara Greene @Tara Greene

And yet, the Trump administration did it anyway,” Menendez said in a statement. TPS offers protection from deportation to immigrants who already are in the United States, including those who entered illegally, from countries affected by natural disasters, civil conflicts and other problems. When Trump took office, TPS was protecting about 300,000 people. It covered El Salvador, Haiti, Honduras, Nepal, Nicaragua, Somalia, South Sudan, Syria and Yemen. But Trump has been skeptical about the program and has announced he was ending TPS for immigrants from El Salvador, Haiti, Honduras, Nicaragua and Sudan. In May, the Trump administration announced that citizens of Honduras would lose their TPS on Jan. 5, 2020. Over 55,000 Hondurans will potentially be vulnerable to deportation. At the time of the announcement, Marlon Tabora, Honduras’ ambassador to the United States, told Reuters the country lacks conditions for the repatriation of tens of thousands of people.

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-immigration-tps/u-s-state-dept-warned-against-ending-temporary-protection-for-immigrants-idUSKBN1KF2XJ?feedType=RSS&feedName=domesticNews โหราศาสตร์ โหราศาสตร์ ยู เร เนียน ที่ไหน ดี