#anyway Sabrina’s new album came out

[millportisntreal]

THERE IS ANDREW MINYARD EVERYWHERE FOR THOSE WITH THE EYES TO SEE

[captinamericashusband]

Juno | Steve Rogers/Captain America x Male!Reader (SMUT😉)

A/N: Wow another Steve Rogers fic. Anyways this one is smut. Also this is my first ever attempt at writing smut so it's going to be really bad. So enjoy!

Title and plot (loosely) based off of Sabrina Carpenter's new song (stream the album btw or else):

Juno

Word count: 2.8k

Summary: I might let you make me Juno 😉

Warnings: Unprotected sex, oral sex

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“And then he said to me, ‘How about you change your dentures!’” A chorus of laughter erupted from around the table. Among the voices and chuckles was Y/N, sporting a fake laugh to hide the pain he was currently feeling on the inside. He so badly wanted to leave, thinking that laughing at whatever he was presented with would help pass the night. 

Y/N was an Avenger. He loved his job – no doubt. He loved being able to help people on a worldwide scale, and the overall idea of doing something that mattered. However, what Y/N didn’t realize was that the fine print of the Avenger’s contract included him forcefully being present at the annual U.S. Defence Symposium Convention, where diplomats and political leaders from around the globe gathered to discuss foreign affairs. While he never had to speak during these conventions, Y/N’s presence was required for Avengers PR reasons. Why it couldn’t be anyone else was a question he’d never find the answer to. Luckily for him, he wasn’t alone this year. Even better for him, he was with his lovely boyfriend.

Y/N glanced towards Steve at the other side of the circular table. Steve was already looking at him, wearing a similar bored expression. The two shared tired smiles. A positive that came with being Captain America’s boyfriend was intimate looks like these, shared across dinner tables, conference meetings, and other situations where they couldn’t be close. Looks and glances that made Y/N feel warm inside. No one else knew, even the team, of their clandestine relationship, afraid of the uproar that would come if it were to become public. The controversy that came with two of the United States’ defensive powerhouses dating – especially considering both were men – was something Y/N chose to think about rarely.

The senator continued his comedically-not-funny joke, and Y/N felt grey hairs growing. He knew he had to leave or he would’ve broken down in tears. As a guest speaker was about to be introduced, Y/N politely excused himself from the table and glanced towards Steve, his eyes already on him. He gave him a wink – a not-so-discrete signal they both came up with before arriving, loosely meaning, ‘I can’t handle this anymore and I need to get the fuck out of here – meet me in the bathroom.’ 

As he walked through the halls of the large venue, he marvelled at the grandness of the building where the convention was held. While he despised being there, he had to admit the building was architecturally and aesthetically pleasing, being more on the higher end of NYC establishments with its Art Deco-inspired assets. When Y/N made it to the bathroom, he checked beneath the stalls to see if anyone was present before letting out a loud groan. He knew he had to talk to Nick Fury later to discuss his supposedly mandatory attendance at the energy-draining convention. He couldn’t stand another second here. Leaning against the sink, he waited for Steve to arrive.

After about two minutes, the door to the washroom opened, and Y/N was met with Steve's presence. Steve raised his eyebrows, silently asking if anyone else was there, to which Y/N responded by shaking his head. “What did it, huh?” Steve asked, closing the door behind him.

“That geriatric senator, obviously – Senator Shortdick,” Y/N groaned. The senator’s name was actually in fact Dick – something Y/N’s immaturity found astoundingly hilarious. “His very long extended joke about…I don’t even know actually.” 

“He was talking about his son, Y/N,” Steve said, walking closer to the other man. “It was a nice story – very wholesome.” When Steve reached Y/N, he wrapped his arms around his waist before giving him a small peck. 

Y/N’s eyes met Steve’s, and they both gave each other reassuring smiles. They both desperately wanted to leave, but were aware they legally couldn’t.

“I don’t think I can handle this anymore, Steve,” Y/N’s voice whined, laying his head on Steve’s muscular chest, and caressing his sides. “I need something exciting.” Suddenly, as if he had an epiphany, Y/N conjured a devious idea to pass the time. Looking up at Steve, he gave him a half-lidded look, an action he did in jest whenever he wanted something from him. “We should fuck right now.” 

Steve only responded with a bewildered look, slowly shaking his head and reprimanding Y/N’s unsavoury suggestion. “We can’t, Y/N,” he said. “It’s too risky. Not to mention, distasteful – we’re in public.” Steve was the more rational person in their relationship, often taking Y/N’s outrageous ideas to heed.

“Why not, Stevie?” Y/N’s voice feigned softness and seductivity. “Isn’t it exciting,” he started, arms sliding up Steve’s clothed bicep. “The idea of getting caught here.” 

“Not really-.” Before Steve could continue, Y/N connected their lips. It started soft – short and sweet – before gradually getting more intense and feverish. Steve pushed the small of Y/N’s back closer, deepening the touch of their lips. Steve wanted Y/N badly, and Y/N was aware of that. He always knew that he had some type of figurative spell over Steve, causing him to be more acquiescent towards him than any other member of the team – even before they started dating. Steve was entirely bewitched by Y/N.

------------------------------------

The two eventually locked themselves in one of the bathroom stalls, lips already connected and moving together hungrily. Both prayed no toilet would come beckoning some diplomat’s bladder amidst their carnal moment together. As they continued face-fucking each other, Y/N trailed his hands down towards Steve’s pantsuit. He palmed Steve’s already present bulge, rubbing it with the soles of his hand and causing a quiet whimper to leave Steve’s mouth. At hearing Steve’s sultry noise, Y/N felt his cock growing harder and heavier.

Y/N broke their lips’ ravenous movement and began unbuttoning Steve’s tux. “I saw you practically ogling me in there.” He bit one of Steve’s sensitive spots on his neck, eliciting a low groan from his throat. “It’s like you were begging to fuck me with your fuck-me eyes.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Steve panted in response. 

“Stay oblivious then, Stevie.” Y/N slipped Steve’s suit off, revealing his muscled buff chest. Not even a second later, Y/N’s mouth began trailing down Steve’s torso. He peppered kisses all over Steve’s chest, going further and further down until he was on his knees. Y/N came face-to-face with Steve’s growing bulge. He salivated, thinking about taking Steve’s entire cock in one go – the idea of hearing Steve’s whimpers made his dick even firmer.

Steve’s gaze was locked on Y/N. His eyes were half-closed, face flushed with both lust and pleasure. Y/N then unbuttoned Steve’s pants before taking them off which revealed Steve’s undergarments. Without sparing another moment, Y/N yanked Steve’s boxers off. Steve’s cock, upon being unclothed, sprung upwards and ached in the cold bathroom air. It begged for attention that Y/N’s mouth was more than willing to give. A slight droplet of precum was already at the slit which made Y/N even more aroused. Not wanting Steve to finish quickly (as if that is even a problem with his serum-induced stamina), Y/N started slow. He gave Steve’s shaft one long lick at the base, relishing the semi-salty taste. Y/N continued licking, throwing occasional glances towards Steve and how he was reacting. The quiet whimpering coming out of Steve’s mouth was evident he wanted – needed more. “Just please take it all, Y/N,” he quietly whined.

Y/N chuckled. He decided Steve had been good tonight and, sparing him from further punishment, took his entire cock in his mouth. A loud moan erupted from Steve to which he quickly clamped his hand over his mouth to silence. Y/N had to adjust to Steve’s size for a moment before doing anything further. Despite having done this several times, Y/N always thought Steve’s dick was maybe too big for him. This wasn’t that much of a problem for him as while he did struggle in throating it, it did make his ass feel good. And very sore afterwards. After a brief moment, Y/N began to slowly move his head up and down Steve’s cock. Steve struggled to quiet down his noises of pleasure as much as Y/N struggled trying not to choke. With each movement of Y/N’s head, Steve was hitting the back of his throat which sent a wave of pleasure down his spine. Steve, however, wanted much more.

To Y/N’s shock, Steve bundled his hands in his H/C locks and shoved him further down his throat. Y/N’s eyes went wide, gagging noises coming from his clogged mouth. Before Y/N could steady himself, Steve began ramming his throat at a rapid speed, his attempt to quiet himself vanishing as he prioritized quickly getting off with Y/N’s mouth. As Steve continued at his pace, he let out breathy moans that were amplified and reverbed by the bathroom’s walls. While Steve was in pure bliss at his cock being serviced, Y/N was not able to cope with the sudden change. His hands were placed on both of Steve’s thighs, trying to steady himself. Tears pricked near the corner of his eyes as his entire buccal cavity and throat continued being ransacked by Steve’s length. Each time Steve’s cock hit the rear of his throat, Steve shuddered and Y/N gagged loudly. As Steve began nearing his climax, he began to go even quicker than his initial speed, causing Y/N’s tears to freefall down his cheeks. With one loud grunt and a sloppy thrust, Steve came down Y/N’s throat. As Y/N felt the warm and salty fluid trail down his throat, Steve’s breaths became more shallow.

Steve leaned against the stall’s door, and a slick ‘pop’ sounded as he took his cock out of Y/N’s mouth. He was still recovering from his orgasm as Y/N quickly got up from his knees and roughly pushed his chest. “Dude!’ Y/N half-yelled. “What the fuck was that? You nearly killed me!”

Steve staggered slightly at Y/N’s hit. He looked at Y/N with a confused expression that quickly vanished upon seeing his tear-stained cheeks. An apologetic look promptly dawned. “Shit, Y/N, I’m so sorry. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine it’s just,” Y/N said while wiping his face, “you have to warn me first before you do that.” 

“I’m really sorry, Y/N.” Steve did look remorseful. His face looked as if he had accidentally kicked a dog. “We should probably stop now.”

Y/N gave looked at him incredulously. “Are you kidding me?” He pointed sternly towards Steve, his voice coming out furious with a tinge of playfulness. “The only apology I’ll accept now is if you fuck me right here.”

“But, Y/N, I don’t have the…” Steve’s voice trailed off.

“The what, Steve?”

“You know,” Steve said, face slightly pink. “The wet thing and the rubber thing?”

An actual genuine look of bewilderment made its way onto Y/N’s face. “You mean condoms and lube?” Steve nodded shyly and Y/N began to laugh. “Steve, you just pounded my face in. Don’t give me any shit about you being too coy to say the words ‘condom’ and ‘lube’.” He then glanced down towards Steve’s penis which was already erect again. “Plus, your thing,” he continued, mocking Steve’s mannerisms, “still looks pretty wet from my spit. And as far as I remember, none of us have any diseases.” Y/N quickly looked towards Steve. “Right?” Steve nodded his head quickly, still too embarrassed to respond. Before Steve could do anything further, Y/N took his pants off alongside his underwear. “You’re already hard again, Steve. What are you gonna do 'bout it?”

Y/N’s teasing tone evoked Steve’s earlier confidence, leading to him hoisting Y/N around his waist, a quick yelp coming out of Y/N at the sudden movement. Before Y/N could say anything, Steve hastily prevented him by connecting their lips. Their tongues quickly tangled together, saliva combining and becoming indistinguishable from one another. “Steve, just put it in already, God.” Y/N’s voice came out breathy and unstable. Steve obeyed quicker than usual, seemingly eager to come a second time that night. Grabbing his cock with one hand and supporting Y/N with the other, he angled it towards Y/N's gaping hole. Without wasting any more time, Steve promptly thrust the entirety of his length inside of Y/N. A filthy ludicrous whine came from Y/N’s throat. His prostate was already being reached by Steve’s tip, causing his eyes to roll to the back of his head. He was euphoric and as Steve started moving, his speed matching that of earlier, Y/N felt like he ascended. 

Steve was usually gentle whenever they had sex, but he decided to spare no mercy tonight. His thrusts were aggressive, leaving Y/N unable to handle the surplus of pleasure he was feeling. With each graze felt by his prostate, he was sent further into the heavenly bliss he felt. “H-have you seen that one movie,” Y/N said in between heavy pants. “Juno?” He knew it was a stupid question, both in the situation he asked it in, and how he knew Steve had barely seen anything made in the 21st century.

Steve continued thrusting into Y/N, the sound of their skin slapping reverberating around the room. “No – fuck,” Steve’s voice came out breathless. “What is that?” His face was contorting into different variations of lewd expressions, making Y/N’s hard-on even stiffer. It was rare to see the Captain America in such a vulnerable state, and Y/N savoured the fact he was the only person who was able to see him like this. 

The pleasure Y/N felt inside of him was indescribable. Their fucking had never reached this level of catharsis. “Nothing – it doesn’t matter. Just keep going, Steve…please…” Y/N saw the little dribble of precum dripping from his cock. He was close. And Y/N knew Steve was too from how his pounds started becoming sloppier, and how his hands gripped his ass tighter. Their lips found each other again, and their tongues connected. Steve swallowed all of Y/N’s whimpers, biting his lower lip to prevent any would-be passersby from hearing his erotic gasps for air. 

“I’m gonna come, Y/N,” Steve breathlessly spoke. His pacing started to decline, and his entire body trembled. 

As Steve was about to endure another orgasm, Y/N saw him about to pull out. Suddenly, he protested with a hoarse sigh, “No, Steve, just finish inside me – it’s fine.” Steve nodded his head silently, not needing to be told twice. Their pants continued syncing together as Steve rode out his climax. Another load of his hot white cream exited him and filled Y/N to the brim. Shortly after Steve finished, Y/N felt his climax coming in. Steve continued floppily thrusting to aid in his release, soon releasing in thick ribbons that covered his and Steve’s chests. 

------------------------------------

Steve gently collapsed both of their bodies on the ground. The pair were in a state of exhausted pleasure, their breaths still deep and frequent. It stayed this way for a few minutes – Steve and Y/N basking in the decline of their orgasms in a comfortable silence. Y/N glanced down towards his ass, a tad icked out by Steve’s jizz pouring out of him. “It’s kind of gross isn’t it,” he said to Steve. 

Steve was broken out of his euphoric trance upon hearing Y/N’s voice. “What is?” He said, still catching his breath.

“Look,” Y/N signalled to his downward area. “It looks really strange.” The pair’s eyes met and they both erupted in boisterous laughter. 

As they started quieting down from what they considered the funniest thing of that night, Steve suddenly remembered what Y/N asked earlier. “Hey, what was it with that movie you asked me about earlier.”

“Juno?” Y/N responded.

“Yeah, that one.”

“Oh, it was nothing,” Y/N said, getting uncharacteristically shy. “I just thought…it’d be nice if we have kids one day.” Y/N then realized what he said and began doubling down. “I mean, that is if you want any with me at all – children I mean. A family.”

Steve didn’t say anything. Instead, he smiled at Y/N, grabbing his hand and holding it tightly. Y/N responded by giving him a meek smile. They both were met with another silence, their love-laced gazes filling each other with a comforting warmth. 

“How are we gonna get out of here, Steve?” Y/N’s voice came out softly, too absorbed in the moment to genuinely care about where they were.

“Now that is the predicament, isn’t it?” Steve said, reciprocating Y/N’s blissful voice.

Fortunately, it was evident that luck was on their side that night as no one had entered the bathroom at any point in their love-making.

FIN

A/N: My Google searches are legit “Synonyms for ‘cock’ in fanfiction”, “Synonyms for ‘moaning’ in fanfiction”, “Synonyms of ‘cum’ in fanfiction”, and “How to write smut properly.” Anyways, hope you enjoyed whatever that mess was!

[leclercsluvs]

CL16 | Already Over | smau

part 3 | masterlist

an: this will include sort of cheating (not really sure what to classify it as), and for that i am going to be using pics of charles and alex, however do i see any alex hate you are blocked or something, thank you very much) fc: sabrina carpenter pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader ib: vicious by @azulpitlane and the album 'emails i can't send' by sabrina carpenter

charles_leclerc

liked by scuderiaferrari, carlossainz55 and 1.503.666 others charles_leclerc nice weekend! i'm happy with my results, and glad to finally introduce you to my girl <3 tagged: scuderiaferrari, carlossainz55

danielricciardo mate what?

carlossainz55 i literally saw her like once

lecworld oop the tea is being spilled

pierregasly great job this weekend! (very unimpressed i find out about your relationship through insta, i'm hurt)

landonorris what's her name again?

alex_albon wow you almost cut me out

charles_leclerc sorry mate i needed to fit in carlos carlossainz55 i do look amazing in that photo

y/nswrld damn the drivers did not hold back

ricsbestglam ikrrr??? like whats going onnnn?? i need the teaaa lecs.aep riiiight?? it's a neeeed

f1wagsupdates

liked by lecslvr, sharl.aep and 693 others f1wagsupdates charles new girlfriend spotted at the race! she looks so pretty, yet we haven't been able to find out what her name is tagged: charles_leclerc

lecslvr oh my goddd she's gorgeous

leclercs.aep she looks a lot like someone i've seen around in paris. i think she goes to one of the art schools there, i think her name is alexandra or something like that

f1girl1644 we must DIG and find her! charles_lechair or maybe theres a reason charles hasn't told anyone her @ like maybe she likes that people can't stalk her account and point out every flaw

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, yourbff and 2.562.827 others yourusername give me a second to forget i ever really meant it 🫨 fast times out now! music video out in a few days. hope you enjoy it (the dark hair is just a wig, i didn't dye my hair for a mv)

y/nsworld NEW MUSICC???

y/n.aep omg totally in love with this song!

scfty/n oh so they're like over over??

lecslvr i guess 😭 charles was literally seen kissing a girl and posting her on his ig

norris.aep oh is this going to be an album? about CHARLES??

lqvey/n omg i HOPEEE

danielricciardo so proud of you!

yourusername thank uuuu

carlossainz55 very nice song!

yourusername 🥰

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, milomanheim and 3.413.034 others yourusername feather is out now!! thank you to everyone who's supported me, and a big thanks to milo for agreeing to be the guy in the elevator 💔 anyway here's a few sneak peaks for the music video, personally my fav, out october 31st!! tagged: milomanheim

y/nsb1tch ohhh who did you blockkk?

yourfriend so you finally listened?

yourusername well i suppose someone knocked some sense into me yourbff happy to be of help 🫡 yoursister girl you should have listened from the beginning. he was BAD NEWS yourfriend we've been telling her!! yoursister did i tell how he responded when she was in that accident? yourbff uhm no??! do spill!!! yoursister TO THE GROUPCHAT yourusername oh lord....

milomanheim thanks for giving me this opportunity. never been in a music video and i did enjoy being the guy in the elevator. even if i didn't get that happy ending

yourusername we'll work together again sometime, and you'll get your happy ending 🙃

luvmilo UHMM WHAT?? okay but like he's gonna eat that role up no matter what it is

leclercssupportsystem okay but why does that guy lowkey look a bit like charles??? i fear 'guy in the elevator' and 'not happy ending' is not good LMAO did she kill him in the mv or something?

yourusername 👀

danielricciardo proud to have been an inspiration 😌

yourusername inspiration and inspiration 🤷‍♀️ sure we were texting when the idea came, but you didn't contribute much :) carlossainz55 she owned you mate danielricciardo now that's just rude :(( yourusername sorry. thanks for the amazing inspiration daniel 🫶 landonorris did you get a sneak peak of it too? maxverstappen1 only a sneak peak? i got the whole song like a week ago 🤷‍♂️ pierregasly you guys got to hear it? kevinmagnussen you guys knew about it?

lcvssjeed some of the drivers being in the comments is making my heart super happy

y/nsvfx no because same! maybe we’ll see her back in the paddock again? 👀 yourusername: wouldn’t wanna miss lando get his first win 😉 vspxcharles OMG OMG OMG SHE REPLIED

scuderiaferrari

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 1.329.082 others scuderiaferrari a nice 1-2 this weekend! happy to see charles on top of that podium again! tagged: charles_leclerc, carlosssainz55

charles_leclerc felt good to be back on top!

carlossainz55 such a good weekend! can't wait for more

leclerswings hes such and angel! 😇

lecsgirl so we just decided to ignore that he supposedly cheated on y/n??

leclerc16 CHARLES P1!!! congratssss

char.aeps so once he drops y/n he starts performing great again? do we think she was the reason he couldn't perform?

angelic.y/n don't you dare try and put the blame on my baby angel! char.aeps she's not so innocent tho 💀 angelic.y/n what's that supposed to mean? was she the one running around being all flirty with two people at once? didn't think so

yourusername

liked by landonorris, yourbff and 2.562.827 others yourusername vicious out now! happy i was able to perform it at coachella! such an experience!

danielricciardo wow you never fail to amaze!

maxverstappen1 is this about a certain person we all collectively don't like?

yourusername perhaps 🤭 maxverstappen1 good to know landonorris may i ask, why you have not done something about it? maxverstappen1 what do you want me to do? pierregasly push him off the track. take revenge for 2012 maxverstappen1 do not remind me of that or i'll push YOU off the track.

carlossainz55 amazing!

y/ncore the drivers being so supportive even tho it's about charles treating y/n like shit is my roman empire

lestappenlvr love how she tries and makes it seem like charles was the bad guy 🙄

y/n.vsp maybe because he was the bad guy? lestappenlvr and how would you know?? y/n.vsp i dont, but hearing these songs, idk i dont think we should jump to any conclusions since we don't have the full story, but we all saw charles running around with that "alexandra" girl while he was definitely still with y/n lestappenlvr well if you dont know why are you speaking about it?? y/n.vsp y'know i could ask you the same thing.

leclercs.aep maybe she should have kept her legs closed lmao

yourusername

liked by yourfriend, yourbff and 2.562.827 others yourusername i wish we stayed just like we were up there </3

yourbff we should hang out soon!

yourusername uhm yes! yourfriend i better be invited! yourusername duh!! danielricciardo can i have an invite too? yourbff depends are you like *that guy*? danielricciardo uhh never 🫠 yourusername you can be there :))

y/nsangel aww how cute (who is she talking about?)

scfty/n probably charles? y/nsangel who? scfty/n charles_leclerc they used to date a little while ago, but it's suspected he cheated on her

scfty/n literally in love with her

y/nswrld who isnt?

scuderiaferrari

liked by charles_leclerc, leclercsbae and 729.362 others scuderiaferrari hoping for another 1-2 finish this weekend! tagged: charles_leclerc, carlossainz55

leclercsbae charles looks so gooooood!!

charles_leclerc definitely going to try!!

carlossainz55 better hope for a P2, i’m going for that top step 💪 charles_leclerc keep dreaming mate, i’m taking that P1 yourusername oh so you do know how to reply?? angelic.y/n oop the tea clfan girl what are you doing here? you're not with him anymore y/n.video they might not be, but her and carlos seems to be friends, so it makes sense shes still following ferrari chili55 i’ve never seen them interact? luvy/n he’s been really supportive of her music, commenting on her post and using her songs on his story

maxv3rs1appen_ i doubt it. with max and red bull being strong you should be lucky to get P3

norris.vfx nahhh lando is gonna get his win this weekend (let me be delulu i need it)

yourusername we're rooting for him 💪

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, yourbff and 3.927.175 others yourusername thank you to everyone who's been with me through this journey. i'm happy to finally be back on tour, emails i can't send has been out for a few days, i hope you like this album i've been working on. i will not be naming any names, but if a song is about you, you probably know 😉

yourbff SO HAPPY YOU'RE BACKKK (i better get tickets>:(!!)

yourusername i guess you'll have to buy them then 🤷‍♀️

video.y/n okay so i went to one of the first concerts of the tour AND SOME OF THE DRIVERS WERE THERE 🥹

angelic.y/n waittt you have to tell which ones!! video.y/n well carlos, daniel, lando, pierre, max, george, lewis, kevin, alex and logan all stood together (so i assume they went together???) leclercsluv no way!! i went to! i actually saw a certain charles in the crowd and i was pretty shocked

danielricciardo one of the best concerts i've been to

maxverstappen1 usually i don't go to concerts, but i'd go to y/n's again in a heartbeat danielricciardo ofc you would ;) landonorris now what is that supposed to mean daniel??? 🤨 danielricciardo 🤐 yourusername thank you all for being there 🥰 it meant a lot to me 🫶 danielricciardo especially max 👀 alex_albon daniel behave 😑

lecslover charles lurking in the likes???

charles_leclerc i truly am sorry for what i did. do you think you'd ever be able to forgive me?

youbff no. yourfriend no. yoursister no. danielricciardo no. yourusername maybe with time. not right now tho. go take care of your new girl. you'll know when i'm ready.

-

part 4

tags: @exotic-iris13 @callsignwidow

[justwinginglife]

Always You, Part 1.5

I couldn't stop listening to "Don't Smile" from Sabrina's new album (yes, it is yet another fic based off of one of her songs LOL), so to prove to yall that I am actually thinking about the Always You series, and working on it, here's a short fic from our POV during the breakup. Sorry for angsting, this fic series has me in my FUCKING FEELINGS.

You hadn’t believed Soshiro had dumped you at first. 

You couldn’t have heard him right. If you had, he must’ve been joking. You wanted to touch him, to tilt his chin up so you could meet his gaze, search the depths of his eyes for some semblance of an answer -he had been unable to look at you through this whole endeavor- but you wondered if that was the reason he was leaving you, if you had selfishly claimed too much of him too many times.

Was he tired of you? Had he fallen out of love with you? Did he not feel the way you felt? Was your whole relationship just some fantasy you’d concocted in your head? Were your most precious memories nothing more than fiction? Was he never yours to begin with?

Before you could process the reality of the situation, before you could beg for some closure, he was gone. If you’d known he was going to leave that quickly, you would’ve chained him to the spot, forced him to face you. But then what? What would you have said? What would you have done? Got on your knees and pleaded with him to love you? Curse at him, tell him you hated him? Bawl your eyes out and hope he found some shred of sympathy for you? That he’d pull you into his arms and declare this all a bad dream? Was there even anything you could’ve done? Was this your fate? Was this what you were resigned to? How long had he been planning this? How long had he been desiring an escape? What had you done to deserve this?

You trudged home, numb and aching all at once. You couldn’t feel your feet hitting the ground but you could feel the pain of loss carving its way into your chest, threatening to stay there indefinitely. You couldn’t feel the tears spilling down your face, blurring your vision, but you could feel the churning in your stomach. You couldn’t feel your throat going dry but you could feel the acid that threatened to trigger your gag reflex. 

You thought your mattress might erode away as you settled yourself into its cushions and vowed never to leave. You thought your pillow might melt from the frequent onslaught of tears it endured. You thought you might just die here and nobody would know. 

You hadn’t even told anyone that Soshiro had dumped you; you hadn’t wanted to make the nightmare a reality just yet. But if you were in denial, your heart certainly did not feel that way. Your heart had accepted every harsh truth and it had the audacity to keep painfully beating in your chest. You wondered if you could beg it to stop. Would he care if it stopped? Did he care if you lived or died, or were those concerns only reserved for boyfriends? 

The days passed by, each one achingly slow, each one filled with crippling doubts and insecurities, each one a torturous reminder of the emptiness in your bed, of the deafening silence in your house. Then days turned into weeks and you learned how to walk again, if only to make it to the bathroom and resume your crying there. When the weeks turned into months, it became harder to deny that he’d left you, that he wasn’t coming back, that he wasn’t in love with you anymore. But you’d try to deny it anyway, drowning your sorrows in liquor, telling yourself when you reached the bottom of the bottle, he’d be yours again, and in between blackouts and hallucinations of better days, you’d find solace in the ghost of him. When the months turned into years, and you heard news that Soshiro had moved on with someone else, you felt the fresh pain of your breakup all over again. You felt suffocated by the memories of what once was and the dreams of what could’ve been. 

You already knew he was the one for you, anyone who came after would only ever be second place. Any semblance of happiness that you could scrounge up after him would feel superficial in comparison to the heaven you’d once had with him. You wondered if he felt the same.

Did he see you in her eyes? Did he picture you beside him when she rolled over in his bed? Did he taste you on her lips?

Or did he never love you at all?

You’d always thought that maybe the two of you would both stay single another decade or two before finally running into each other at your favorite cafe again and then you’d rekindle old flames. You realized just how pathetic that sounded when you heard that she was talking houses and marriage with him. You hoped that she was doing all the talking, that he was only half listening. But the problem was hoping for anything at all. 

How long could you keep doing this to yourself? 

How long could you keep holding on?

How long until it killed you?

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

This is a post absolutely nobody asked for because 0 of you follow me for Takes on music, but one of the pop music podcasts I listen to has been all in on Pop Girl Spring, and they played a little game the other week where they did a draft for the top 10 songs from all the albums they’ve been covering – so that’s the new releases by Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Maggie Rogers, Gracie Abrams, Dua Lipa, Billie Eilish, Charli XCX, Ariana Grande, and Kacey Musgraves, plus the currently charting album-less singles by Sabrina Carpenter and Chappell Roan.  And while I don’t have the fun structure of a competitive draft to play with, it did make me sit down and hash out my own Top 10, and I have literally nowhere to put the fruits of all that effort except Tumblr, so here’s way, way more words than anyone asked for about POP GIRL SPRING.

Listed in not-exactly no particular order, but also not in This Specific Order, like, this is not a countdown, I’m not ranking them with great specificity or anything.  The 10 songs I need on my imaginary Pop League Team.

Good Luck, Babe! (Chappell Roan): Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess is a great album and I think Roan has a great career ahead of her (knock on wood), but this is the first song she’s released that feels like a Timeless Hit to me, like the kind of thing that’s going to show up in Buzzfeed quizzes in the 2040s about picking the best songs from this decade.  On god, this could be one of the best pop choruses ever written – starting with that fucking high note is such a flex! – and it’s such a poster child for how great, earwormy pop music can tell a fairly specific story and make it feel deeply universal.  Legendary.  No notes.

Espresso (Sabrina Carpenter): SONG OF THE SUMMER.  Is it a better pop song than Good Luck, Babe?  No.  Is it the Song of the Summer anyway?  Yes, because those aren’t supposed to be Timeless, they’re supposed to make you forever remember *this specific summer* in your life.  It’s a great song with an unbeatable hook, and I dig the fact that it makes just slightly less sense than it probably should – caffeine is the metaphor for…how you’re going to stay up nights thinking about Sabrina Carpenter?  Okay.  Whatever you say.  It’s not a song about anything, which sometimes is bad but in this case is amazing, and there’s something marvelously audacious about committing to lines like “walked in and dream-came-true’d it for ya.”  Bonkers.  Delightful.  Carpenter has put out like 4 albums which does not seem possible for someone I up until now only vaguely remembered as “was on that nostalgia-bait Boy Meets World sequel series,” but man, she came to play with this one.

BILLIE GETS TWO

BIRDS OF A FEATHER: Hit Me Hard and Soft is a fantastic album, managing to edge further into straight-up pop territory without compromising the distinctive voice that’s made Eilish the Snobby Music Critic’s Pop Princess.  I have no idea how long she’s going to be able to (or want to) keep splitting the difference between these two identities, but she’s doing it right now, probably doing it better than anyone since Little-Earthquakes-era Tori Amos.  I chose this song because I think it does the best job of fusing those elements: it’s a right-down-the-middle love song in the classic pop vein of “i know my baby is a life-ruining trainwreck but honestly i do not care,” and it’s got good mid-tempo ballad structure with that little bit of haunted-ness that is Eilish’s signature sound, and I just think it’s probably the most solid song on the album.

CHIHIRO: This one is my *favorite* song on the album, which is why it’s here.  I don’t know what it’s about.  It’s not particularly “radio-friendly” (is that a thing anymore? What do we say instead of that? Digestible?)  It’s slinky and vaguely threatening and it just feels like a song that nobody else could do. It’s the one that’s been most consistently stuck in my head since I first listened to the album.  I feel like it’s flying under the radar a little, but I’m super here for it.

The Kill (Maggie Rogers): I feel like people sleep on Maggie Rogers because her marketing aesthetic seems kind of like, navel-gazing folky singer-songwriter, which is not all that Of the Moment right now.  But the thing is, that’s really not accurate at all!  Her music is just straight down-the-middle, strongly crafted pop, WHY is she not more famous?  She’s so good!  Don’t Forget Me is just so, so solid as a pop album, crammed full of songs that are massive hits in some alternate universe. “It Was Coming All Along” is my personal favorite, but for this list I’m sticking with The Kill, just because it seems to be the closest thing to a breakout hit off the album and I want to hype it up.  It’s a bouncy, incredibly sing-along-able song about a mutually destructive relationship, what is not to love.  Pop music was invented for this.

BEYONCE ALSO GETS TWO

BODYGUARD:  Look, I’m going to level with you, I wanted to like Cowboy Carter a lot more than I did. For me, the album has exactly the same flaw as Renaissance did, which is that it fundamentally feels like Beyonce has done a *ton* of research for her music history degree, stuffed every bit of it into the album, and by god you are going to listen to her senior thesis on the Black roots of popular music.  Both albums are like – so smart and so sincere and they just feel – a little bogged down to me.  I don’t know.  This may be entirely because I am just not on Beyonce’s level here, but there’s something about Cowboy Carter that makes it hard for me to really love as an album, rather than as a project.  That said, there were several tracks I really liked, and this one’s probably my favorite, maybe because it sounds the most authentically like a Beyonce track to me.  Whatever you think of Jay-Z or of the Carters’ marriage, it’s undeniable that a huge part of her as an artist and a human is tied up in this idea of being one half of their partnership, and when she does these “it’s me and my baby versus all the rest of you bitches” songs, she always strikes what to my ear is her most authentic, heartfelt notes.  BODYGUARD has a cool, California-road-trip kind of vibe that puts me in mind a little of “03 Bonnie & Clyde,” but appropriately, more grown-up now.

YA YA: After complaining that a lot of her recent music feels a little too overstuffed with References, I have to say that this is one of the worst offenders – but it fuckin works.  This feels deeply retro but not at all in a corny way, a great update of a certain kind of mid-century honky-tonk music that makes it feel vital and current.  I don’t think Beyonce has truly hit the same high in terms of weaving her politics and her music together since Lemonade, but to me this song stands up well alongside that album (which for the record, I think was a generational achievement, a truly transcendent work of art).  Also, as appropriate for a song whose theme is “shake your ass in defiance of a world that does not care about you,” the ass-shaking game is on point!  I honestly wish this song had received all the success that went to TEXAS HOLD ‘EM, which is a song I truthfully feel is hokey and try-hard.  This one covers the same ground but infinitely better.

Von Dutch (Charli XCX): I am a naysayer to Brat Summer, I’m sorry to say; I think Charli is a fairly decent pop musician and Brat is a fairly decent pop album, but I do Not get the hype.  It’s got some worthwhile tracks, and I do appreciate that she’s allowed some space to excavate less-common themes in pop music – songs about wondering if now is when she should be having kids, about wrestling with the way that other women bring out her personal insecurities – rather than just the genre staples of Love and Partying and Being Awesome.  That said.  I think the best song on the album is just a regular-degular banger about partying and being awesome.  If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

YES, TAYLOR ALSO GETS TWO (man, it’s a 31-track double album! Get off my back!)

Down Bad: One of the things I don’t think Swift gets credit for, due to being overshadowed by the Harrowing Constant Drama of her personal life, is that she legitimately has a dry, off-kilter sense of humor that brings much-needed levity to the Harrowing Constant Drama of her body of work.  TTPD is, among other things, a *funny,* self-aware album about how knowing full well that your emotions are absolutely unhinged vis-a-vis actual reality doesn’t actually do jack shit to keep you from drowning in those emotions.  A lot of the hate for this album has really come from people who Do Not get the joke, who are cherry-picking verses and single lines from deeply self-aware songs without providing the context of that self-awareness.  I love this song.  I love the chorus: crying at the gym is a detail that’s perfectly, wryly relatable in its absurdity, and “everything comes out teenage petulance / fuck it, if I can’t have him I might just die” in that swingy, chipper groove is exactly why no one does it like she does, packing all that ambiguity and frustration and self-loathing of your own irrationality into a great hook.  I love the fuckin alien abduction framing device to talk about a relationship whose impact inside your own head and heart is wildly out of proportion to its impact on the materiality of your daily life – a relationship that *might as well have* happened on an entirely different planet than the one everyone else lives on.  It’s great.  This is a great song.

The Albatross: So I wanted for the second TTPD track to pick something from the other side of Swift, the one that *is* deeply, irretrievably, uncomfortably emotionally sincere.  There were definitely some strong contenders, but I kept coming back to this song, which I actually have heard very little chatter about, but has snuck up on me as an album favorite.  I try not to get too lost in the labyrinth of Swift’s endless Easter eggs and self-mythologizing, but this is a song that I do think benefits from understanding its place in her personal biography; specifically I think it gains a lot from seeing it as a companion piece to “The Archer,” a softly agonized song from the beginning of a relationship about the duality of predator and prey, about wanting to go all-in but dreading the part of you that you know is capable of sabotaging this.  The Albatross is – a softly agonized song from the ending of that same relationship about the duality of destruction and salvation, about wanting so much to protect someone you used to love from the havoc *that same love* has ultimately inflicted on their life.  There’s a whole novel lying in the space between these two songs, and both of them feel raw and intimate in the way they expose the pain and vulnerability and shame that shadow the act of allowing yourself to love someone.  TTPD was, in my opinion, rushed out too quickly, an experiment in presenting Swift’s emotions in a more unprocessed, uncrafted way to make a statement about art as a survival mechanism during emotional times, but an experiment that doesn’t entirely work; it truly could have benefited from another six to twelve months of cooking and a strong editorial pass.  To me, this song is a glimpse of what TTPD could have been if instead of being rushed to press in the middle of her ginormous tour for the sake of her own catharsis, it had been given the space and attention that Folklore/Evermore were given.  The Albatross is truly (like The Archer before it) an optimal wedding of Swift as a chronicler of her own interiority and Swift as a generationally gifted musical craftsman.

(I had a couple of also-rans, so shout out to Dua Lipa’s “Happy For You,” a song I really loved off an album I thought was kinda phoned-in overall, and Gracie Abrams’s “Tough Love,” through which I learned that there could potentially be something interesting about Gracie Abrams, someday.)

[saetoshi]

not an ask or anything!! but i need to find someone to scream with me😫🙌 so sabrina carpenter’s short’n sweet album came out, and the line from good graces “break my heart and i swear i’m moving on with your favorite athlete” LIKE PLS the pettiness is giving sae itoshi😆 like after being with a loser dude who’s a soccer fan, u proceed to date his all time favorite player and rub it in his face! (call it ooc but i see sae enjoying the situation and joining in shitting on the lousy ex) AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THE VISION?? 😝 that aside my mind rlly just wanders to this thought everytime i listen to good graces (and bed chem is nagi coded because of the white jacket line) BUT ANYAY I HOPE U HAVE A NICE DAY!!!✨💕🫶🏼 i said ill listen to the new album after my midterms but sabrina has me on a tight grip and im just living for the girlypop album right now (also why does taste give me rin code) anyway i love ur fics so much i hope u always have the most scrumptious meals bcs the baddies deserve that!!😎💖

I SEE THIS VISION AND I LOVE IT SO MUCHHHH !!!!!!!

who gaf if it’s ooc sae is a certified chismoso in saetoshi world, and he would most definitely shit on your lousy ex w you 100% no questions asked 🙂‍↕️ nonnie this idea is so good i fear you may have persuaded me to write a fic about it eventually 🤭

i hear you on the bed chem w nagi, however let me raise you one better: karasu tabito . LISTEN TO ME !!!! he checks off most of the boxes there (im totally not biased) (i so am) !! exhibit a: he’s got a thick accent 😝 exhibit b: ‘who’s the cute boy with the wide blue eyes’

I SO HEAR YOU ON RIN + TASTE 🤭 like, picture this: ex!rin who is so absolutely bitter that you decided to get back at him by dating his brother, except it completely backfires on you bc you can only picture it’s rin instead of sae 😣

overall the album is so good it actually eats and my favs are taste, juno, espresso, good graces, and don’t smile 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

[xcleanx]

1.21.23 - Måneskin's new album RUSH! is out now! I'm obsessed i recommend "own my mind" "timezone" "baby said" and "if not for you" - Nonsense by Sabrina carpenter is #22 on the Spotify global charts - high school musical came out 17 years ago - Midnights is the first album since "Frozen" to top the Top Album Sales Chart for the longest with 12 consecutive weeks. - owl house season 3 is out - fall out boys new album will be called "so much (for) stardust"

I don't think I'm gonna start doing a quote I just wanted to include this “I do not think that that’s punk. I don’t think that’s the essence of punk. And I feel strongly that without young women, people of colour and also the queer community, I just think we would still be where we were then." – Hayley Williams

Fun fact: hippopotamus means "water horse" Song of the week: ghosts! by Sophie Cates

Also I now have a website!!! stars-weekly.carrd.co

i will definitely listen to the songs you recommended of off rush! first!! the fact about high school musical made me realize we all are getting old lol. i’m SO proud of taylor, she’s achieved so much but also been through so much shit and she’s still doing amazing anyways, she’ll always be my biggest role model🥹 hayley’s quote is so real, kinda reminds me of only the young! and i love your website btw!! it’s so cute and well organized☺️

[thedeependofalittleocean]

My Top 10 Albums of the Year (So Far)

We're over halfway through the year, and an insane amount of good music has come out so far. For the last year or so, I've started each day by listening to a new album, so I'd like to think I've listened to a good chunk of new things. Of course, no one asked me, but if you haven't heard of any of these artists, maybe this post will put them on your radar (although a number are from artists you've absolutely heard of).

Also, huge disclaimer, this list is absolutely not exhaustive and is greatly skewed by my personal taste in music. I mostly listen to pop/alternative/rock music, so that's what will be most represented on the list! Anyway, in no particular order, here are my favorite 10 albums of the year so far.

We're kicking it off with a stellar debut album from the London-based band, The Last Dinner Party. I remember hearing the first single from this album, and the band's debut single, Nothing Matters, and being absolutely swept away. I was shocked to find this song came from such a young band, and praying the following album would live up to the song. This sparkling baroque pop album does that and more. It's absolutely as grand and beautiful as promised.

I Got Heaven is raw, messy, and bursting with energy. Philadelphia rock band Mannequin Pussy doesn't waste a single second of this album's short run time. It's a burst of adrenaline and speaks to some of the most visceral emotions I've been feeling this year. Not to mention, I Got Heaven and Loud Bark are two of the strongest album openers of the year.

Okay, I'm sure you've heard of Beyoncé, and you've probably even listened to this album. Really, there's nothing I could say about this amazing piece of work that hasn't been said. If, for some reason, you've been hesitant to give Cowboy Carter a try, let me assure you, it's absolutely worth your time. With every album, Beyoncé continues to prove she's in her prime, and she has a lot more to say.

Rachel Chinouriri wasn't on my radar before the beginning of this year, but I'll be a fan for a long time to come after this debut album. If you love devastating songs that you can't help but dance along to, What A Devastating Turn of Events is for you. This Brit-pop album has incredible hooks, clever lyricism, and great variety. Rachel Chinouriri is a star, and she'll be opening for Sabrina Carpenter next year. I have no doubt she'll be blowing up, so jump on board now.

I have to admit, this is where my biases really stand out, but I truly believe Twenty One Pilots hit it out of the park with this one. I wasn't a fan of their last album, Scaled and Icy, but I was pleasantly surprised by the singles from this era. Clancy truly feels like a culmination of a lot of the band's work so far. The album has several standout moments that took my breath away. Not to mention, Midwest Indigo is one of my favorite songs of this year.

Big Ideas is Remi Wolf's second album, where she sharpens her songwriting abilities while still treading new ground. I loved Wolf's debut album, but Big Ideas feels so much more refined, while still keeping Wolf's humor and eclectic style intact. This album has only been out for a week, but it proves that Wolf is one of the brightest and most unique stars in pop.

What can I say, Clairo never disappoints! Charm is such a wonderful breath of fresh air this year. Its soft but catchy melodies and jazz-pop instrumentals are incredibly soothing. Of course, Clairo's lyricism is strong and intimate, pulling her listeners in closer than ever before.

If you see a "Top Albums of the Year" list that doesn't include BRAT, you should probably stop reading. Okay, maybe that's dramatic, but it's hard to talk about music this year without talking about the phenomenon that is BRAT. Charli is so raw and honest on this album while crafting some of the most delicious beats I've ever heard. You'll dance, you'll laugh, and if you have a heart you'll cry during So I.

HIT ME HARD AND SOFT is another album that simply doesn't waste any time. It's Eilish's most polished album to date. Like other albums on this list, it's raw lyricism stands out. I'm not sure what it is about this year, but it feels like pop stars are really interested in being the most honest version of themselves in their art. I love to hear the vulnerability on this album, and the songs are incredibly well crafted.

Last, but certainly not least, Only God Was Above Us was one of my most anticipated albums of the year, and it paid off, to say the least. It's been said before, but this really is the most Vampire Weekend the band has ever felt. It's full to the brim with references to the band's works, but it's also fresh and new. The band is looking backward while still walking forward, and that's not an easy feat. Even if you've never liked Vampire Weekend before, you should give this album a shot.

[notebookmusical]

Hi! I'm so glad you had fun! Oh that's so interesting about your accent. I've heard about people losing their accent. It actually reminds me a little bit of Taylors country accent and if it was more of an act and if she will do it for Debut TV. I hope so..even if it's just a little bit. I do actually like hearing her baby voice unlike some people. I guess I have a California accent.

So I think I mostly agree with your choices. I read that they are cutting out Damian's song and they're also adding a song by Renee featuring Megan Thee Stallion. I haven't heard it yet but I think it's out now. I know it's to probably appeal more to audiences that don't like musicals but I do like Megan so it's fine. Maybe it's a girl power type song and I'm sure it's in the credits anyway. Either way, I don't like listening to a musical soundtrack before the movie so I won't find out until I watch it. I don't know why..i guess I like being surprised by the songs, so if I see Wonka, this will be the case. I am curious to see how the music will be in that one. But Megan was also in a scene in another musical called Dicks the musical which I haven't watched either so I find it interesting. That one was more a parody of musicals I think but Nathan Lane was in it so that's something. Also I keep forgetting to listen to Renee's music! I think her deluxe album came out recently so hopefully I will soon.

I haven't listened to Sabrinas yet either but I definitely will..maybe on Christmas day. I saw a video of her performing the new years song and I was intrigued. It was almost like sexy..and different than I expected, but I liked it. I also forgot that Laufey has Christmas music too so I will play that as well and Kelly Clarkson has new Christmas songs too. But I totally know how you feel about the two weeks in between. I also feel that way from Christmas to New Year's Day. I always thought it would be weird to have a birthday close to Christmas honestly but yours isn't that close. I can't believe it's so close already..I hardly ever feel in the holiday spirit anymore. But I also wanted to ask you what are some of your favorite Christmas movies?

I love Lana! I would recommend listening to Born to Die. That's her first album and where her overall vibe and aesthetic come from, and why she was so popular on Tumblr back in 2012. That's how I found out about her and a lot of other artists back in high school. Yes..I have been on Tumblr for like almost 15 years lol. My sister and I were actually just talking about this. Like there are a lot of people on here who are two or three years younger than me and it doesn't seem like they're into Lana. Instead they're more into Lorde or Halsey which became popular a few years later. I still like them but that was past my high school years so I was never obsessed like with Lana. I also found Marina and the Diamonds, Arctic Monkeys, and the 1975 kinda and I still like them. So I do find it interesting a 15 year old would like it so much now but I was also 15 so maybe it makes sense. Anyway I would also recommend Ultraviolence and the album Norman fucking Rockwell. Honeymoon album has a more cinematic sound if you're interested in that. She also released two albums close together in 2020 like Taylor. I'm not sure if it was that back to back, but the albums are sort of a pair to me and it kinda matches a more stripped down Folklore style too. Her newest album is also good but overall I think her newer albums have gotten slower and some people don't like that vibe. She always has one or two songs like the old Lana though. I can always give you some song recs too if you want.

Thats one of my goals for this next year for sure..to read more books on my shelf. I'm still working on a list for now. I'm not sure if I will be able to finish Night Circus in January though just cuz it seems a little long so maybe I will move it to a different month. I also don't know when I will read Chloe Brown..maybe in February cuz it's a romance but thanks for letting me know. If I like that one, hopefully I can read the rest of the series. What are some of your other reading goals? Do you have a list of books you wanna read for next year yet? Also what were some of your favorite books of the year? Sorry that I was just kinda rambling about memoirs for a second there. I do remember liking Crying in Hmart but I think I was listening to an audiobook or something that I never finished. I think I remember reading it around this same time last year actually cuz I told myself I would finish it before the year ends but I just didn't. I definitely wanna finish it before the movie comes out though. Maybe I will try to finish a book I'm in the middle of now by the end of the year but I just have to make time for it. I forgot to ask you..what is your favorite sitcom? Mine is..no surprise, and a basic answer..Friends and the Office! Which is why I got their memoirs haha. I also really wanna finally start watching Abbott Elementary eventually next year.

I have seen both the movie and musical bootleg of Once. I saw the movie way before and am not as familiar with the musical. I think they made some small changes though so it does make me wonder about a La La Land musical. Falling Slowly is one of my favorite songs ever though. I also liked Begin Again with the same writer or director. This was not a musical but it did have some music in it and all of his films do. I also enjoyed Sing Street and I think he has a more recent film I haven't watched. But even Sing Street was on Broadway I think and that had changes too but I'm not really sure. I loved all the songs from Sing Street. They were all pretty different but music connects them and I like them all. I will pretty much watch any movie with singing or songs in it.

I mostly still love Taylor and always will but I do think parts of the fandom have to do with it. She was still my top artist mostly cuz she put out two long albums I played a bunch. I don't know why it feels different cuz I didn't feel like it leading up to 1989 or anything so maybe it has to do with me more than Taylor. I've actually had a dream where I met her recently and another where she revealed some rep vault or it could've been TS11 track titles. Lol those were probably way off but I am still excited for it! I hope you have a good weekend and holiday if you wanna take your time to reply! It was actually funny cuz I was scrolling my dash when I saw your reply to my ask come up yesterday. It made me realize how long my messages really are lol so sorry for that or to all of your followers haha. But it also made me laugh and I just couldn't reply until now. It's been a long time since I have made a new friend in general and that could be part of it too so I always appreciate you replying. I guess you are an easy person to talk to.

hello friend!! sorry this is late :( — guess who is sick again :/ i hope you're having a good weekend!! merry christmas, if i don't speak to you before that 🤍

i think debut tv will sound very weird without her accent, but then again maybe it won't! i'm torn because sometimes with the rerecordings, things don't sound the most ... natural (like the laugh in hey stephen / the end of stay stay stay) so we'll just have to see! ugh i loveeee her little baby voice. i was out grocery shopping earlier and heard her version of last christmas and was so excited about it!

i don't know how i feel about all of these changes! i'm trying to keep an open mind, and i will say that i always thought the mean girls score was weaker than what i was hoping it'd be (like legally blonde) but it is quite fun! i listened to part of the credits song, and then got distracted and then never went back to it! i've heard of dicks the musical, but haven't seen it yet (which should not be a surprise)! i think my friend saw it and said it was fun though!!

i rewatched white christmas last week, and i also have a soft spot for holiday inn (both musical + movie)! and i loveeeed love actually! i know some people think of little women as a christmas movie too, so little women 2019 must be on my list! and then i ironically / unironically love the christmas prince netflix films; they're so awful! what about you? do you have any favorite christmas movies?

i listened to some of born to die yesterday and was like "ah yes, i do remember listening to this one back in the day and liking it"! i've also been on tumblr for far too long :) i do like lorde and halsey! and i liked some marina stuff that was popular at the time — my tumblr favorite was definitely the 1975 + taylor! i listened to some of Did You Know That There's a Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd when it first came out, and i really liked margaret! you know i'll always take recommendations from you 🤍 even if it takes me a while to get through!

i'm almosttttt done with my night circus reread! i'm hoping to be able to be done with it by tuesday, and then finish les mis by the end of the year and that'll be it for me! i haven't thought about my 2024 reading goals toooooo much but that'll be my first blog post on my book blog for the new year, so i'll have to start thinking about it soon!! i think i mostly just want to work on reading arcs/gifted books/books already on my physical tbr, but we'll see! some of my favorite books this year were: conversations on love, half a soul by olivia atwater, when broadway was black: the triumphant story of the all-black musical that changed the world by caseen gaines, the missing of clairdelune by christelle dabos, and the seven year slip by ashley poston — on a whole i think this year was kind of a mediocre reading year, but that's okay! what about you? what were some of your favorites this year?

i've never seen friends or the office! i think my favorite sitcom would have to be schitt's creek! a lot of my friends love abbott elementary so i've been thinking about starting it too!!

i've been meaning to watch begin again but haven't! i didn't realize it had the same writer + director as once! and yes!! sing street had a very short stint on broadway; i hope it makes its way back someday, i really loved the cast recording and what i heard of it!

i'm with you; i do think the fandom noise unfortunately has soured some of my feelings towards her at times. but i still love love love her music; i just need to distance myself from her + the fans! omg that dream must've been so cool! do you remember any of the titles? and no worries; i can always put my responses under a read more :) i love chatting with you 🤍!! hope you're having a good day! xx

[dearthinkingoutloud]

"You were holding out to find the opposite." (pt. 1)

Pre-reading: Listen to "opposite" by Sabrina Carpenter

The first time that I heard Sabrina Carpenter's song "opposite", I was enjoying her DC stop on her Emails I Can't Send Tour. She had released her album by the same name a few months before her tour announcement and I BEGGED my parents to let me go. After being a fan of her for eight years, I would finally be able to see her in concert as my first concert without my parents! I studied the entire album for months (as if I wasn't already listening on repeat) leading up to it when suddenly, she released four extra songs including opposite. I listened to one of them before the show but wanted to experience the rest of them live, so I decided to save the other three for the concert on May 14.

When she finally played "opposite," I was listening intently to the lyrics and immediately broke down. With all of the adrenaline and energy in the room combined with the lyrics, the tears came quite quickly. The first lyrics alone...

"Oh, so you do have a type? And it's not me" and a few seconds later...

"If you wanted brown eyes I could have got contacts"

Now... I don't have blue eyes like Miss Carpenter, but I inverted it to fit my experience. In my head, she might as well have said, "if you wanted blue/green eyes." Like the TikTok I posted earlier stated, "this song is so WOC-coded (women of colour)," and so as soon as I related it to my life, emotions spilled out of me. In this song, she talks about the pain of someone you like or love moving on to someone else who looks opposite of you. Boy... does that sound familiar... As a black female who grew up in many predominantly white areas, this was unfortunately a common occurrence for me. On many occasions, I would develop crushes on people who expressed no reciprocated interest; in fact, they often looked the opposite of me. White or light-skinned. Blonde. Blue or Green eyes. This disappointing cycle continued so long that I started to look internally and wonder... is it me? What is it about me that you don't like? Are my eyes not special? Am I too dark? Too big? The people who did express interest in me were adults (gross, I know) and/or only sexual in nature which I quickly declined. My self-esteem and self-confidence took a deep decline very quickly.

At the end of the song, Sabrina sings,

"And I know now Even if I tried to change That somehow You'd end up with her anyway"

... which, as you can imagine, made me sob even louder. By then, I had learned the song and was able to sing it with her, so my new concert buddy and I began doing a cross of scream-singing and scream-crying to close out the song.

As a child into my teen years, I would await the day when I needed my ends trimmed so that I could have my hair silk pressed. I wanted to lose weight and didn't want to be taller. I was obsessed with Snapchat filters. They made my eyes bigger, my nose smaller, my lips the right size. I didn't fully grasp it then, but I had wished to look like the girls who everyone wanted (in my predominantly white school). That internalized racism villainized my natural beautiful features and made them the reason why nobody liked me.

In Chapter 8 of Speak Okinawa, Elizabeth Miki Brina recounts her teen years and how her internalized racism manifested in her actions. Previously, she had called herself racist terms, but when she turned thirteen, she, all of a sudden, tried to go by her Japanese name "Miki" (she didn't succeed since everyone had been calling her Elizabeth her entire life thus far). This may seem like a step towards embracing her Japanese side, but her internalized self-hatred (which she doesn't quite know yet) came out in her constant desire to have blonde hair, change her eye shape, and wear blue contacts. She continuously expressed how ugly her Asian features are and therefore, found ways to look different than her natural self. Her mom only feels further rejected by seeing how openly Brina despised the only part of her that was completely related to her mother.

As Sabrina Carpenter said, I know now that it was not me who was at fault or necessarily them for not liking me. Now, I have found love for my natural hair, skin, lips, nose, hips, height, and so on. Of course, I still struggle to love myself like most other people, but there is a clear improvement to my past mindset.

*Look forward to Part 2 in my next post!*

♡ dearthinkingoutloud

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

1.21.23 - Måneskin's new album RUSH! is out now! I'm obsessed i recommend "own my mind" "timezone" "baby said" and "if not for you" - Nonsense by Sabrina carpenter is #22 on the Spotify global charts - high school musical came out 17 years ago - Midnights is the first album since "Frozen" to top the Top Album Sales Chart for the longest with 12 consecutive weeks. - owl house season 3 is out - fall out boys new album will be called "so much (for) stardust"

I don't think I'm gonna start doing a quote I just wanted to include this “I do not think that that’s punk. I don’t think that’s the essence of punk. And I feel strongly that without young women, people of colour and also the queer community, I just think we would still be where we were then." – Hayley Williams

Fun fact: hippopotamus means "water horse" Song of the week: ghosts! by Sophie Cates

Also I now have a website!!! stars-weekly.carrd.co

All of this is so exciting!

The Owl House eps have been great. I've been loving how Camila have been incorporated more, but it does make me scared to think she may not make it to the end of the series 💀

Love that for the musicians!

Also you saying that about HSM makes me feel so old. I remember being in upper elementary school when it was released and being the only person who was not into it lmao rip.

Anyway I hope you have a good day.

[whatagirlwants]

just saw a post as i was looking sabrinas snl up so im back here to debunk this whole idea from J stans.

lets start with the whole idea of “confirmed songs about him” i’m sure for Jstans they have a different idea but lets start with:

Skinny Dipping, when S put it out J liked multiple of her posts at once, it was Sept 2021. (i’ll actually try to SITE as much interviews as possible) but here is what she told teen vogue about skinny dipping; “I didn’t feel in that moment that I was at a place where I could literally be skinny dipping in water under the bridge,” Sabrina tells Teen Vogue. “I didn’t feel like I was healed and fully out of a place where I didn’t hold any anger or resentment.” Instead, she dreamed up a scenario where she hadworked through those feelings. meaning she wasnt there yet with him but she was “dreaming” or “imagining” a day where it doesn’t hurt and they have moved on and they’re at peace. keep in mind all the songs were done literally july /aug cuz thats when her and her collaborators went upstate to finish the album.

Decode, a month later S runs into J at a Harry concert, we obviously dont know the details, but we know it was for 3 seconds and that S went to him to say Hi. later the next day? S in the same outfit as the concert posts a video of her and a piano in NYC singing decode lyrics “you’re good at the falling not the staying there you’re good at the giving too much then getting scared you’re good at impersonating someone who cares and you had me for a minute there. now i wonder why i let your CONFUSION keep me up at night im so tired” link to the tiktok . also need to add the rollingstone interview during album drop where she says how leaving was never an option for her and the song took a long time to finish cause it was her accepting she doesnt need to ask questions and understand why or how things happened and just let it be. which brings me to “How Many Things?” where she is also asking those questions. (skip to decode section to better understand> https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/sabrina-carpenter-emails-i-cant-send-interview-1381304/)

How Many Things: now this is a lyrical sign but remember the way S described him in Decode, lets take a look at what she says in How Many Things: “i wonder how many things you think about before you get to me, i wonder how many things you wanna do you think im in-between. i feel myself falling further down your priorities and i still make excuses for you constantly” to me this is a huge sign to how much she still cared yet that person doesnt he has other things on his mind or maybe other people. lets take a look at the 2nd verse “remember when you left once that never made too much sense to me. well it hurt you so bad hurting me. you really came to me for for sympathy” this is a confused man i dont know i rest my case. this is definitely about the last time they were in the same place. cause remember BILAB “when everything went down we already broken up” is true. They were spotted last in Nashville during a tornado warning around March.

Tornado Warnings: people that were online then picked this up. but there is picture proof but i dont recall where it went of a fan with J. so J fans have buried this cause the fan said they saw the “blonde girl” with J and inserted a pic with J and said it was during a “tornado warning” cut to a year later when s revealed the tracklist she even has a song about that night. this further proves the breakup. if anyone has a screenshot send it to me or guide me where to find it. i remember a big “hsmtmts” instagram update account posted about it but the account was later turned private ill try to find the username. anyways we can all look at tornado lyrics, and it describes its about someone who goes back to an Ex which she knows is wrong & is a hige red flag, she is actively lying to her therapist abt him because she didnt want things to change she wasnt ready to cut this obvious red flag, person who is no good for her, confused about his own feelings, out of her life. i mean we dont know much but if her therapist told her to stay away and shes lying to them about it that person is obviously toxic, heres a link to sabrina saying its a true story to rollingstones and how she wasnt ready to heal https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/sabrina-carpenter-emails-i-cant-send-interview-1381304/

bilab; i didnt put this up on the list cause its obvious. but this song isnt “about” him its about the hate she received for being with him. she doesnt describe their relationship if anything the only bits we got is how he told her she’ll always be his favorite which she ROLLS HER EYES singing this live and that when it all went down meaning when DL/Skin dropped they already broken up we obviously dont have the exact details BUT we know sabrina loved him and wasnt ready to heal or leave further proof in the rollingstone interview i linked she says about decode how leaving wasnt an option for her she really thought they could fix this. ill go up and add that point to decode cause. “It’s sometimes easier to stay in a situation that might not be good for you than it is to gather the courage to leave.”

Vicious: on tour S said this was the last song written and recorded and added to emails because it wasnt finished in aug/sept 2021 like the most of the album, it was done Feb 2022. S followed Amy her collaborator during that time as well, thats why S sings “one year 10 thousand bad moments”. and to further confirm the confusion of the person she describes in previous songs, changing his mind about the 2 girls “me or her u just run to whoever is winning”. i think Vicious speaks for itself, read the lyrics.

which brings me to FWD tracks. fwd tracks came in march 2023, and the standard album were July 2022. so after months of S living with the new music she went back and wrote or collected new songs to end the chapter of emails. the concept of emails is writing songs no one were supposed to hear, her true feelings towards what she went through. there comes Lonesome “why were you somewhere else when you were next to me did you think about her face with your arms around my waist did u even give a fuck” and the lyrics that FURTHER confirms Vicious “isnt kind of strange how it all changed when i wasnt the one they wanted you to love” (DL/Skin outrage, hate, locals telling him to go back to O). but obviously she must have also gone past those feelings and felt free’er which is where Feather comes in, its Sabrina finally moving on which she did by putting the album out, touring, and moving forward with her life she put the past, the breakup, behind her. but it didnt happen easily she needed to BLOCK and finally CUT this person out the confusion he brought, she really had nothing left to decode. i wrote about things i wish u said recently i think if i didnt then ops probably forgot to post.

so this it for now. sorry its long. i just needed to open some eyes. ITS OKAY that she felt those things about him and u cant say it isnt true we’ve seen her cry during these songs on tour, the way she’s talked about the songs and the breakup she went through, its real. just cause he’s your favorite celebrity or artist who himself confirmed he was thinking of his other ex during these moments of his lives such as during bacteria infection, and more i dont really keep up with his songs lyrics but i remember a song saying he was thinking of someone else with his arms around another girl. he’s confusing man in his career, in his songs, in his life which validates her even more.

and thats it for this let me know what you think. might delete this later

it’s frustrating to me that there’s still jbass fans who say that sabrina has only written about him in a positive light. it’s okay to admit when someone has songs written about them.

she hasnt they keep misunderstanding her songs starting from skinny dipping

[whatiwillsay]

i know you mostly cover gaylor, but there's kind of a small community that believe sabrina carpenter (if you don't know who she is, she was on disney 2013-2016 and was involved in a pretty big love triangle last year ((the boy, joshua bassett, came out as queer, which is rad)) and put out an album today) is bisexual/queer. there was a whole groupchat dedicated to finding out clues about her sexuality LOL but anyway

i was reminded of the gaybrina thing when listening to her rehearse a new song (because i liked a boy) and it sounds like she says "dating girls with exes" instead of "dating boys with exes."

idk, i just thought you might find it interesting or something :)

// ur local gaylor

yes i am mutuals with @sapphicbrina on here and on my pod i've have done an entire episode on olivia and josh and a bit on sabrina

i'm very familiar w the disney channel love triange kids and the possibility that sabrina (and also all of them) could be queer

[perfectlywrongformend3s]

Driver’s License- Joshua Bassett

A/n: Liv's album is amazing, and before you comment anything. I know I'm super late since the album came out a while ago. But it's so good, so if you listen to it, tell me in the comments your favorite songs.

Song: Driver's License

Writer: Olivia Rodrigo

  -Samantha

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'' I got my driver's license last week, ust like we always talked about, 'Cause you were so excited for me, To finally drive up to your house, But today, I drove through the suburbs, Crying 'cause you weren't around.'

I was sitting in the DMV waiting to be called to take my turn on the road. I felt my leg start to shake from being nervous. I heard a ding coming from my phone and saw Josh texted me telling me that everything would be okay. I smiled at him and before I could text him back I heard my name being called.

" Y/n Y/l/n!"

I took a deep breath before heading off with the lady that was taking me for my test.

Joshua's POV

I was on set hanging out with the cast when I remembered that Y/n/n was taking her test today. I grabbed my phone and sent a quick text to her before I put my phone back into my pocket. I started walking over to the set I was supposed to be at and I felt my phone ding. I quickly grabbed it thinking it was Y/n/n, but saw it was from Sabrina. I felt myself smile and told her I would meet her at the cafe after work.

Your POV I was doing my last task for my test which was parking. I pulled into the parking lot and looked for one and pulled into the spot. When I knew I was straight I put the car into park.

" Well, Miss. Y/l/n, it looks like you have..." the instructor said, I took a deep breath and waited for her to say it. She looked at me. " You passed! Congrats sweetie."

I let out a breath of relief. " Thank you so much." I told her while getting out of the car. She smiled and led me into the building to get my licenses.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I parked my car and ran excitedly to my apartment that Josh and I share. When I got in the door I yelled....

" JOSH!"

I tried looking for him until I decided to call my best friend Olivia.

" Hey Y/n/n." She said

" Hey Liv!" I shouted

I heard her giggling through the phone. " What's up?" She questioned

" Is Josh still on set? I could have sworn he would be home by now." I asked

Liv sighed " Yea, we got out a while ago."

" Okay. Thanks, Liv." I said

" Welcome. Anyway, you sounded super excited when you called me. What are you so excited about?" She questioned

I let out a laugh and told her... " Okay! I just got my driver's license. I can drive legally by myself now."

She screamed which made me scream in excitement.

" Omg! Congrats girl." Liv shouted

" Thanks again." I said laughing

" Oh, I have a new song coming out tomorrow!" She said

" What!" I shouted

She then went on to explain to me about the song.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

' And you're probably with that blonde girl, Who always made me doubt, She's so much older than me, She's everything I'm insecure about, Yeah, today, I drove through the suburbs, 'Cause how could I ever love someone else?'

It has been about a week since Liv's song and the Josh thing. I was sitting in the living room going through my instagram when a photo caught my eye. It was a photo of Josh and Sabrina looking a little too close. Before I started assuming anything I wanted to know his side of the story.

" Josh?" I asked

Joshua's POV

I was texting with Sabrina when I heard Y/n call me.

" Yea?" I questioned

I sighed when I didn't get a respondes, so I walked out to the living room where she was. I sat next to her and before I opened my mouth she showed me a picture. I tried not to show her how much I was panicking.

" I can explain." I said

She sighed and nodded. I took a deep breath and started explaining...

" I was on a break at the set when I texted you good luck for your test when Sabrina texted me. She wanted to know if I wanted to hang and talk about a song..."

I kept going on about it until I felt her lips on mine. I was shocked, but kissed back.

" Just promise me you're not lying to me?" She whispered

'' I'm not lying Y/n/n." I told her

She held out her pinky and said... " pinky promise."

I linked my much larger pinky with her smaller one. She then wrapped her arms around my torso which made me automatically wrap my arms around her waist.

Your POV ' And all my friends are tired of hearing how much I miss you, but, I kinda feel sorry for them, 'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do,Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs, And pictured I was driving home to you.'

I was over at Liv's house with the girls. I was trying to keep the comments I have about Josh, but they kept coming out. I was in the middle of telling them something, but stopped due to tears falling. I felt Liv wrap her arms around me. I started sobbing into her shoulder which made her hold me tighter.

" Am I not good enough. What's wrong with me Liv?" I asked

" Nothing's wrong with you Y/n/n. Just forget about Josh. Screw him. You don't need a boy cause you have all of us." She told me and pulled me away from her and held my face while wiping the tears away.

" Girl power over powers any boy." She told me which made us all laugh.

" Thanks Liv. Also thanks guys." I smiled, pulling them all into a hug.

When we pulled away from the hug I asked...

" This my sound stupid, but can we listen to your song Liv."

They all let out laughs. Instead of answering me she pulled out her phone and played it. We all screamed the lyrics. When it got to the bridge they all stopped singing so I screamed out the lyrics to them...

" Red lights, stop signs. I still see your face in the white cars, front yards. Can't drive past the places, we used to go to, 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe. (Ooh,Ooh-Ooh,Ooh-ooh)"

I opened my eyes to find them all filming me which made me smile. I tried to sing the rest of the bridge, but my voice was sore from screaming and crying. After I hung out with them a little more I went to drive back to the apartment and thought about chickening out. I told myself I had to do it, I had to face him at some point. I walked up to the door and tried to find my key. I started panicking a little, but calmed down right away when I felt it in my pocket. I unlocked the door to find Josh's eyes staring right at me.

' I know we weren't perfect, But I've never felt this way for no one, And I just can't imagine, how you could be so okay now that I'm gone, guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me, 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street.'

I saw him get up from his spot which made me put my hand out to stop him. I felt tears falling down my cheeks again.

" Y/n/n, please don't cry." he said

" Why did you lie to me? You pinky promised that nothing was going on with her." I said through my tears.

He let out a sigh... " Come on, I'm sorry, I broke the promise. I'm also sorry for..." I stopped him

" Stop! I can't take you lying to me anymore. I'm leaving. I'll come get my stuff later."

He tried to stop me. " No! Josh! I'm done with your crap and I'm tired of the lies you tell me. We're over."

I was about to open the door when I turned around and said...

" Yeah, You said forever. Now I drive alone past your street." I then walked out the door letting it slam behind me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hopefully you guys enjoyed, also sorry if it's confusing. I just hope you understand it, if not let me know and I can figure a way to fix it. Thanks for all the love guys.

[silverwhiteraven]

Wings of Broken White - Ch. 2

Tag List: @marichatmay

[ Posted on Ao3 ] [ Chapter 1 ] [ Chapter 3 ]

[ Summary: It’s Origins all over again, but jsut a little different. ]

Ever since his mother disappeared, Adrien’s favorite movie has been Spirited Away. As the years passed, he related to it more and more.

A young child, who’s parent’s pay her no mind despite her warnings. She gets separated from them, wanting to do nothing more than cry for the unfairness of it all. Then she gets dragged into signing a contract, willing to work under its terms because it would allow her to bid her time and someday regain her family.

All of that he felt in his heart, but it wasn’t all.

A strange and dark looking creature is constantly asking her to let it inside, and each time she has to keep denying it. Letting it in would be, is, a mistake, she had to get him out as soon as possible and keep him far, far away.

It was a little unclear to Adrien why he related to this part of the movie as more of a relevant metaphor than a personal experience. But it was still there. He could never quite grasp why, but whatever his own dark, faceless creature was, he knew he couldn't let it in.

And of course, there was one other part to Spirited Away that he wished to understand.

The girl lost her name, her memories, all of who she was, as part of a contract to get her parents back. Even her spirit friend had lost his name, too, and he had done it to stay alive. Those parts felt raw and real to Adrien, and it always made his cry.

Though he was always a bit confused why he felt lost like they were. Had he forgotten something? He knew his name though, it was Adrien. And he still belongs to himself, after all, his Father lets him set his terms for when he models so he’s never uncomfortable. Had he forgotten something else, then?

From what he could recall, there were very few photos of Adrien from before he was seven. All up-close shots taken from a polaroid in black-and-white film, and all stuffed away in a little photo album in his Father’s personal library. Nothing was out of place, he was certain of it.

So Adrien dismissed it, chalking up his tears to nothing more than build up emotions from the earlier parts of the movie.

Spirited Away wasn’t the only Studio Ghibli movie he enjoyed, though.

He had seen every single one, really, and he loved them all.

But when Chloé had watched Whisper of the Heart with him one time, she used it as a way to egg him into going to public school with her.

“But Chlo, you’re homeschooled too, aren't you?” He was a bit confused.

“Only for now!” She huffed in annoyance. “But being homeschooled by tutors means I can't be in classes with you, Adrien, so as soon as I demand that Daddy enroll me to a school so that I can be with you more often, he will see reason! Just watch!”

And he did. She succeeded, of course, though it took her agreeing to wait until she was eligible for secondary school so they could skip the hassle of enrolling her in primary school first. Unfortunately, she had underestimated just how stubbornly protective Gabriel Agreste would be of his son.

For three years, Chloé went to Collège Françoise Dupont on her own. For three years, Adrien dreamed of getting out of the house and making friends on his own. For three years, Chloe helped build Adrien’s courage to push against his protective bubble and pop it using all his might. And, Lucky for him, three years was all it took.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Marinette was running late for school, just like she has every day since she started Collège. It wasn’t her fault that mornings didn’t give her very much time to eat, shower, put on her wing-binders carefully and perfectly, get dressed, maybe help out in the Bakery a little bit, and then finally grab her bag and dash off to make it on time for classes. Honestly, who’s idea was it to make the day start so early? Not her’s, that's for sure!

It really didn't help that an elder had been crossing the street while a car with a distracted driver drove toward the intersection too quickly. Marinette had rescued the elder, sure, but her box of goodies had suffered, and so did her wings. Luckily, it wasn't too bad, she had just awkwardly landed on her butt, subsequently squashing some of her primaries and secondaries where they had been concealed under her dress. Oh well, it wasn’t like she flew very often anymore anyways, right? Right!

Her first day of school was…normal, really, as normal as it has been for the past four years, anyways. This year, she had all three of her primary school friends, Nino, Alix, and Kim, in her class, and that made her rather glad. She was even happier to see that the rest of the students she had also met before over the previous three school years. She was surrounded by friends, so she knew this year would at least be better than before. Even Alya, who had transferred to their school the previous year, would be joining her classes again.

There was, of course, that one sore thumb that stuck out.

Chloé Bourgeois, for the fourth time in a row, had made a big deal of sitting in a particular spot so that a student no one knew could sit in front of her. For the fourth time in a row, Chloé watched the door instead of the teacher. And, again, for the fourth time in a row as classes passed then lunch came and ended, Chloé looked rejected and sad coming back into the classroom, before taking her usual spot back in the front row with Sabrina.

For the fourth year in a row, it looked like Chloé’s one friend outside of school wasn't going to be showing up.

Only, it seemed this year would turn out just a little different.

The mystery boy did, in fact, show up this year. He came in late, smiling like he had just escaped from prison for some reason. Chloé had jumped from her seat like a coiled spring and hugged him like he had just come back from a war when she thought he had died. Marinette had no clue why she was comparing these two’s interactions to such horrific things, but it seemed to convey just how high their emotions were running.

After that, their teacher had taken the chance to rearrange the class seating, to better accommodate the students.

Rose Lavillant with her pretty wings of a Roseate Spoonbill, and Juleka Couffaine with the purple and grey wings of a Violet-Backed Starling, were the inseparable couple, now seated in the right hand side’s back row. To their left across the aisle was Nathaniel Kurtzberg, his large red and black Cardinal wings keeping the sky boy hidden. He would have been put in the front due to his shyness, but his wings had a tendency to block other’s views.

In the next row forward, there was Max Kanté, his wings that of a pure white Flamingo. Lê Chiến Kim sat beside him. Kim was one of the wingless students, but that never got him down. Some students would even say that if he did have wings, they would be on his feet like Hermes purely because of how fast on his feet he could be. Ivan Bruel sat at the next desk in front of Nathaniel, also on his own. His Raven wings were hidden under his oversized clothes, making him rather large and intimidating in looks. He wasn’t trying to look scary, really, he was just embarrassed at how shiny his large wings were and hid them.

Third row from the top, right behind the front row, sat Alix Kubdel, dark green and pink iridescent Hummingbird wings tucked smoothly against her back. Kim was staring at the back of her head like he could already picture himself beating her in a race. Mylène Haprèle was at Alix’s side, another wingless student. She didn’t mind, really, if anything, it made her time with Ivan feel all the more special, since they could share their experiences with each other without being embarrassed. Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Alya Césaire were at the other desk. Alya had the prettiest Barn Owl wings, the color reminding many of roasted marshmallows. Her wings also made her a person to fear during camping, because as soon as the scary campfire stories were out, she would sneak off, then ambush the group on silent wings at the scariest possible moment. Marinette, on the other hand, still hid her wings under loose shirts and skirts, so she was seated near the front of the room.

And finally, on the right hand side of the very front row of desks, sat Chloé Bourgeois with her regal Swan wings, and Sabrina Raincomprix, Chloé’s wingless desk companion and only friend inside of school. And now, at the other desk opposite the two girls and in front of the classroom’s door, the last two students were seated. Nino Lahiffe, another Hummingbird with blue and green feathers, sat very chill in the front row, his wings tucked away just like Alix’s to keep anyone from behind him from having trouble seeing. And at his side was the new student.

Adrien Agreste was the last of the wingless students in the class. But even without wings, he was eye-catching. His hair was white, more pure in color than even Max’s or Chloé’s wings. It was only accentuated by his light, almost pale skin. And his eyes, blue as could be, looking like ice drifting on an open sea. He wasn’t completely unique, of course, as there were plenty of pale or even albino people in the world. But still, he was different and new to them, and even more curiously, he was friends with Chloé, of all people. She even treated him well, and she didn’t do that for many.

After the excitement of seat changing and a new student, everyone settled down for the rest of their first day of school. Adrien seemed rather excited to be there, even jumping out of his seat when called on, blushing furiously at the giggles but still smiling at his own amusement.

Sadly, the day was interrupted. By magic and supervillains, of all things.

No need to get into the details, but here is what Marinette remembered when she finally got home after an exhausting day.

First, a very large, blue gorilla came crashing into the school, obviously looking for someone.

Second, Marinette found a pair of earrings in her room, a magical creature with them.

Third, she became Ladybug, and, for the first time in a while, flew in the skies on new wings of pitch black.

Fourth, she was really out of practice on flying, especially with the new set of feathers, and ended up falling into another person.

Fifth, that new person was her partner in heroics, apparently, calling himself Chat Blanc.

Sixth, he too, had wings, a brilliant, almost iridescent white, broken by scattering specks of crystal blue. But for some reason, he hadn't been flying when she fell, or any time after that.

But, seventh and most important of all, he had been encouraging to her, helping her when she faltered and felt fear. She was utterly embarrassed over it, but also very, utterly certain that she really, really liked him for it.

Adrien, on the other hand, remembered a few less things, but was just as excited about them.

First, he got to go to school!!! He had to run away from home to do it, yes, but it was worth the cost.

Second, when a monster came attacking his school, looking for someone (later revealed to be Adrien himself when the monster was reverted back into his bodyguard), Adrien had been saved. Marinette, his new classmate, had guided him through and out of the school building to help him escape the chaos happening in the unfamiliar environment. It was so cool.

Third, he had more freedom now than ever before. With the help of a silver ring and a wary little cat creature named Plagg, he could become Chat Blanc. And that freedom came with wings. Those wings made him feel almost whole for some reason. Like one of the missing pieces of himself, that he only thought about when watching Spirited Away, was suddenly back where it belonged.

Fifth of all, after the fighting was over, after his first day in public school was over, he got to see Marinette again. As he waited for his Father’s intimidating Assistant to come and get him, as he waited under the entrance awning as rain poured from the sky, Marinette had come up to his side.

“I didn’t get a chance to say it earlier, but welcome to our class, Adrien,” she had smiled genuinely at him. “I wasn’t sure what to think at first, you being a friend of Chloé, but you seem to make her, well, nicer, I guess. So, I hope I get a chance to be your friend, too.”

Then, she handed him her white dotted pink umbrella and dashed off into the rain before he could say anything back. It reminded him of another Ghibli movie, actually; in My Neighbor Totoro, when the sisters had been waiting in the rain for their bus, they had lent their only umbrella to the strange but friendly Totoro.

Adrien was glad Marinette hadn't seen him blushing as she left, or heard his embarrassing squawk as the umbrella had suddenly snapped down around his head and shoulders.

But after all that, the day was made bright by the fact that his Father was going to let him continue going to school. Everything was really looking up. He couldn't wait for the rest of his life to come.

[topperscumslut]

no but can we just talk about how WEIRD all of these rumors are for a sec??? even if they were true and confirmed the way people are reacting to them is fucking insane, but people are literally using rumors that are most likely not true to choose sides and hate on one side over the other, while acting like the one they support is a complete fucking saint.

i love taylor. i love olivia. i love sabrina. even if the rumors were true, which it’s so unlikely that they are, i would still see both sides and not absolutely hate one over the other. ur favorite celebrities can simply not like each other. you’ll live.

warning, long ass rant under the cut

so ok lil overview for y’all that aren’t keeping up with ts the way i am. ever since olivia dropped vampire leading up to the release of guts (and probably before) there have been rumors that olivia and taylor, who used to be best friends (and probably still are) had a dramatic falling out and that vampire is about olivia feeling betrayed by taylor. honestly when i first saw this theory i genuinely thought it was satire. and yk what, i can’t tell u what to believe (even tho there’s like no evidence), so if u want to believe they had a falling out and don’t see eye to eye anymore and pick sides go ahead, im not your mother, just keep it to ur fuckin self. don’t go bashing one of them on the internet over a feud made up by the media just cuz u support the other one more and think they’re the victim in a scenario we know jack shit about. but anyway, these rumors have been spurred by the fact that olivia and taylor haven’t been seen together recently (cuz it’s totally not like they’ve both been working on albums and taylor’s been on her biggest tour ever lately) and the whole deja vu/cruel summer debacle. now if you don’t know what im talking about, olivia had to give up some of her profits from deja vu to taylor swift cuz it was partially inspired by taylor’s song cruel summer (and also part of her royalties to paramore for good 4 u cuz it apparently sounded too much like misery business). which honestly, neither of those songs sound like the songs they’re supposedly “stolen” from. like, at all. they’re the same type of vibe and the same genre. that’s it.

now people have been using this to hate on either taylor or olivia, saying “oh taylor’s stealing from olivia and taking advantage of her being a young, new artist to profit off of her work” OR “oh olivia completely copied taylor’s song, she’s just playing the victim cuz she can’t make original music.” both absolutely batshit insane takes. deja vu sounds nothing like cruel summer, AND olivia admitted that it was partially inspired by cruel summer. these are not mutually exclusive facts. imo it doesn’t seem like taylor “stole” the money or credits from olivia AT ALL, olivia ADMITTED to taylor inspiring deja vu so of course taylor is going to get partial songwriting credits and royalties! and even if taylor *did* supposedly forcibly take that, who’s that say that was taylor’s personal choice and not her teams? also im not saying ppl SHOULD, we really shouldn’t be hating on anyone in this scenario especially without knowing the whole story, but it’s interesting how people aren’t hating on paramore for the fact that olivia had to give up royalties for good 4 u the same way ppl are hating on taylor. it’s almost like ppl just constantly look for excuses to hate and vilify taylor swift…

not to mention, olivia was only 17 when she released drivers license and was producing sour and 18 when it came out, and completely new to songwriting. it’s very possible she didn’t know every single rule about this sorta stuff. copyright is fucking confusing.

anyway, none of this really makes any sense whatsoever. olivia didn’t copy cruel summer. to claim that is ridiculous. but she literally admitted on her own accord that it inspired her in writing deja vu and she used elements of it in that song, so why would she be upset about giving taylor credit for that? and not to mention, all of this went down in 2021 when sour came out. at the PEAK of taylor and olivia’s friendship. if this were the case, wouldn’t they immediately stop hanging out and praising each other on social media? and yet they didn’t seem to grow apart and (most likely unintentionally) distance themselves from each other until 2022, which was literally the kickoff to the height of both of their careers thus far. olivia was writing and producing guts. taylor was writing and producing midnights and probably speak now tv and 1989 tv as well, as well as planning for the eras tour. to say that these women weren’t being seen together bcuz of “drama” when they were actually working their asses off on their own individual careers is ignorantly misogynistic at best.

but after hearing olivia’s single vampire and one of her new songs off of guts, the grudge, people have used the lyrics as “evidence” that the songs are about taylor swift and their alleged feud with each other, even tho both of those songs seem to be about romantic relationships. the line “you only come out at night” from vampire is being used as “evidence” that it’s about taylor, in reference to taylor’s album midnights, even tho it’s very likely that olivia wrote vampire before midnights even came out. and when confronted about the rumors that vampire is about taylor, even tho olivia didn’t completely refute it and said she’d rather not reveal who her songs are about or pinpoint them about being one person or one thing which, fair enough, she did say she was surprised people would ever think that. that sounds like denying it to me.

in the grudge, olivia sings about a “friday in may,” which people believe to be a reference to taylor, since they became close in may of 2021. two years ago. do u realize that may is a month?? that happens every year??? have u socialized recently???? do u leave ur house?? do u own a calendar??? and then there’s also the line “your flowers filled with vitriol” which is apparently about taylor giving olivia flowers, bcuz people never give their partner flowers in a romantic relationship and it couldn’t possibly be a metaphor that’s not about literal flowers, right?? jfc… get a job. plz. come out of ur room. ur family misses u.

and then comes in sabrina carpenter, olivia’s “rival.” cuz yk, olivia calling her pretty on drivers license and saying how sad she was about her ex moving on with sabrina and then sabrina writing songs about how the situation with olivia has affected her, not bcuz of OLIVIA’S actions but bcuz of the actions of toxic fans, which olivia has never condoned, and the media making her out to be a villain and sending her literal death threats, apparently makes olivia and sabrina sworn enemies. cuz why not, right? sabrina literally sings about how her mental health has been negatively affected by the media painting her out to be olivia’s nemesis, which she never was, and the villain in olivia’s story, and people saw these songs talking about that as her saying that she hates olivia and confirming their “feud.” how fucking tone deaf can u be.

and just when rumors are starting to blow up that olivia and taylor now have beef with each other, taylor invites sabrina to open for her on the eras tour, which is seen as being a dig at olivia for inviting her “enemy” to tour with her. what kind of fuckin middle school shit is this? these women are in their 20s and 30s. u really think taylor is inviting sabrina on her tour to make olivia jealous and say “haha, fuck u, the girl u supposedly hate is touring with me and ur not”? u really think taylor is purposely taking advantage of a young, inexperienced artist after talking about how badly it affected her when that EXACT SAME THING happened to her when she started making music??? i think the fuck not.

and yk what the craziest part is? the fact that taylor and olivia are STILL PUBLICLY SUPPORTING EACH OTHER!!!! a fact that these chronically online trolls are choosing to ignore. taylor showed her support for olivia at the VMAs just a couple nights ago. olivia has said she hasn’t gotten a chance to go to the eras tour *yet* cuz she’s been WORKING ON A FUCKING ALBUM but that she PLANS TO when she gets the chance. the chance of these bullshit rumors being true are slim to none, and even if they were confirmed, it’s still so insanely stupid to hate on either olivia or taylor over something that went down privately between them that we know nothing about.

anyway rant over, im just tired of this shit y’all

“olivia rodrigo and taylor swift are enemies” “olivia rodrigo and sabrina carpenter are enemies” “olivia stole from taylor” “taylor stole from olivia” stop!!!!! shut up!!!!! go outside!!!! touch grass!!!! breathe air!!!! read a book!!!! drink water!!!! delete all of ur social media and smash ur cell phone to pieces with a sledgehammer!!!!!