#anyway I'm back home! hi and happy new year ✨

[snarkspawn]

drew these during the simulanka event

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

You'll Be Home For Christmas

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. Not all kinks or triggers are tagged. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Summary: You agree to do a favour for your coworker but it might be more than you can handle.

Character: Clark Kent

Day Nineeen of the December Daze Challenge.

Prompt - fake dating becomes too real.

Note: As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

"I know it sounds weird, but, my mom's getting up there..." Clark looks away as he pokes his tongue into his cheek. 

You're not sure how he does it. How someone like him can make himself look pathetic. He's a big man. Mountainous really. He dwarfs just about everybody in the office. Even the desks look tiny next to him. And the chisel of his face is so sharp yet in that moment, he looks heart-wrenchingly soft. 

"It's just you two this year?" You ask. 

"Um, yeah," he rubs the back of his neck then drags his hand around and down his chest. He shifts in his chair and clears his throat. "Look, I know I can be nosy but I overheard you and Maggie. You said you don't have any plans this year--" He cringes and leans forward, putting his elbows to the desk as he covers his face then peeks out between his fingers. "It's a dumb idea." 

"It seems like you're pretty stressed," you fold your hands behind you. You don't want to agree with his last statement and make him feel worse. 

"Yeah, after Lois..." he shakes his head, "my mom's convinced I'm going to be alone forever and she keeps telling me how old she's getting. Says she wants to live long enough to see me happy." 

"Wow, sounds worse than my mom," you kid but quickly deflate. "Sorry, I'm not trying to make light." 

"No, it's ridiculous," he heaves and drops his eyes. "I've asked two of my neighbours, I asked my mail lady, and oh, yeah, the girl who made my coffee today. I'm all out of shame." 

"Can I think about it?" You ask. You know you're going to say no, but you don't want to do it right away. 

He perks up and his blue eyes flick to meet yours. His brows rise hopefully and he rolls forward in his chair, "really?" 

"I didn't say yes." 

"But you're the first person not to say no," he smiles. 

Oof, there it is. You've always had a hard time in situations like these. You're a people pleaser in the worst way. 

"Anyway, I should get back to work," you say. 

"When-- when will you know?" He asks. 

You hesitate. 

"End of today?" He suggests. 

You nod. Alright. You just need to get out of there before you cave to that puppy dog sparkle in his eyes. A man who looks like that shouldn't be able to make himself so pitiful. 

✨

You don’t know why you said yes. You really were going to say no but when Clark came back to check in, you weren’t prepared. So absorbed in your work, that you forgot about the odd request. 

So here you are, right beside him, wound as tight as a spring as you try not to show it. It’s not how you imagined spending Christmas. When your typical traditional obligation felt through, you were almost relieved. Now that dread has returned but in a new flavour. Meeting someone else’s family is somehow more intimidating than your mother’s judgement. 

Clark’s own anxiety pales in his knuckles as he drives silently. Only the radio provides some softness in the tension between you. It’s always strange to spend time with coworkers outside the office and now you’re jumping headfirst into their most personal facet. 

You fidget in your seat and let your eyes blur out the window. You didn’t expect his mom to live this far, yet you should have. He’d mentioned before he grew up on a farm. It must have been nice in a way, peaceful, out where you can’t hear the city honking and hollering. 

The snow thickens as you get further into the country. His large truck doesn’t falter as he steers cautiously through snowed over tire tracks. Would the plow even get this far out here? If it did, you don’t imagine it would come very often. 

Your mind latches onto those random things to avoid the obvious. You’ve always been this way. Instead of worrying about your mother lecturing you about your stagnant work situation, you’re usually more concerned with how your hair lays or if she’s going to the like that bottle of wine you spent too much money on for her. 

“Thanks again,” Clark’s baritone rolls over you like thunder. “Really. I know it’s... strange. I’m just not ready to date again but... my mom...” 

“Trust me. I get it. My mom can be... a lot,” you chuckle, though it’s really not that funny. 

“Oh yeah? I didn’t want to be nosy, but...” 

“Right, uh, you know, my brother asked if we could have dinner on Christmas Eve instead and the rest of us agreed. She insisted that Christmas Eve isn’t Christmas...” Your heart picks up with the anxiety you bury deep down. “Well, she cancelled Christmas since no one agreed with her.” 

“Wow, really?” 

“Uh, yep,” you can’t look at him. It’s embarrassing. It’s like when your mother dumped your birthday cake in the garbage because you pointed out you were 13 not 12 that year. Or when she walked out of your graduation because your grandmother wouldn’t switch seats. “It’s whatever. Family, right?” 

“I guess,” he says. “My parents always loved holidays too. Especially when dad was around.” 

“I’m sorry about your dad,” you murmur. 

“Don’t be. Sorry if it seems like I keep bringing that up,” he sniffs. 

You look ahead to the sole structure as it looms closer and closer. A farmhouse that comes clearer through the drift of flakes, and a barn like a shadow near its rear corner. It’s like one of those classic festive paintings printed on an advent calendar or some 1950s domestic dream. 

He pulls up to the house and shifts in his seat. Concern needles in his cheek as he squints over the steering wheel. He wrenches the shifter into park and kills the engine. You sit futilely and let him take the lead. 

“Lights are off,” he mutters. 

You nod, unsure what to say. Is something wrong? 

He gets out and you watch the snow dust into his dark hair and across his broad shoulders. He is unfettered by the deep snow. You zip up your coat and turn to your door. You push it open and look out into the perilous carpet. 

Clark surprises you as he comes around. “Here,” he puts his arms out, “it’s deep.” 

You grab his hand and his other goes to your waist. He as good as lifts you and sets you down in the path he’s stomped through the piles. You thank him and awkwardly detach. He shuts the door and moves around you closely. 

He leads the way to the porch so you can walk through his footsteps. Your lashes catch the snow as you look up at the grey sky. You don’t think you’ll make it home that night. Shoot. 

Clark kicks off his boots as he digs in the pocket of his coat and pulls out some keys. He unlocks the door and gestures you in ahead of him. You try to clear off your treads before you enter. He reaches around the frame to flip on the light. 

He crowds you as he enters. You try not to step off the mat and make a mess of the floor. You slip free of your Adidas, not the best choice for the weather, and shuffle aside. He hangs his jackets and combs his fingers through his hair to clear the flakes out. The dark strands glisten with the moisture. 

“Give me your coat,” he reaches for you. 

“Oh, yeah,” you unzip your jacket and hand it over. It isn’t exactly climate appropriate either. You’ve been meaning to invest in winter gear. A lot of times your intentions are only ever that. “Thanks.” 

“Quiet...” he mulls as his eyes skim the ceiling and he hooks your jacket on the rack. 

“Yeah, a little.” 

“Ma’s probably laying down,” he utters with a hint of concern. “I’m gonna go check and see what’s going on.” 

“Oh, I hope she’s okay.” 

“No worries. She stays up all night reading,” he shakes his head. “Feel free to make yourself at home.” 

“Right, er, okay.” 

You back up as he passes you. He heads upstairs and you slowly pivot to take in the interior. The pale wood is marked with knots which give it an even more rustic atmosphere and the decor is simple but in a quaintly traditional way. The details etched into the slender drawer of a side table or the dainty trim of the area rug give a lived-in effect. 

You tiptoe into the front room and hug yourself as you feel a draught whisper in around the window. You find the light switch and flip it on to cast more light across the neatly arranged furniture. There's an old-fashioned iron firestove in the middle of the room, the flue built up to the ceiling.  

You can hear Clark moving around above. The rest of the house is silent. You look at the old grandfather clock standing against the wall. It’s just after eleven in the morning. 

You turn as the stairs creak. Clark appears in the doorway with a sober expression. “Mom’s just waking up. It might be a while. She... she’s having a tough day.” 

“Oh, I’m so sorry. Is she sick?” 

“She is and she isn’t. Just getting older, you know? Ever since she broke her hip last year, she’s been a bit slower,” he explains. 

“Oh, gosh, Clark,” you say. “Is there anything I can do to help? You said she was planning on dinner but I can get all that started for her.” 

“Sure, she usually thaws the turkey in the sink overnight,” he says. “We should probably start there.” 

“Right,” you chew your lip. 

“It’s nice of you to offer but if it’s too much--” 

“No, no! It’s cool. I’ve just never stuffed a turkey on my own,” you say. “I was always just an observer.” 

Your mother never believed anything was done right unless she did it herself. Then she’d complain about having to do it. 

“I can help,” he offers. 

“Sure, sounds like a plan. I think she might appreciate the help, huh?” 

He smiles but doesn’t answer right away. For a moment, he only stares. He clears his throat and nods at last, “she would—will.” 

“Show me where it all is,” you show your palms, not wanting to presume too much. 

He beckons you after him as he leads you through the doorway perpendicular to the one you came through. He turns on another light. This place feels desolate with them off. 

“So uh...” he begins as he goes to the counter and peeks in the sink, “yep, turkey’s in here.” 

“Great, hopefully it’s dethawed,” you say. “Alright, do you mind if I poke around?” 

“It’s all yours. I’ll try to help but gotta be honest, as a kid, I was out in the field,” he stands back to watch you. 

“Right,” you come forward to look the turkey over. Good thing is it won’t need extra time due to being half-frozen. 

“Hum... do you know if your mother does stuffing from scratch or a box?” You turn back to him. 

“Scratch, probably,” he shrugs. 

“Cool, uh, I need bread,” you declare. It’s almost nice being in charge. A very new but refreshing feeling. 

✨

The smell of turkey wafts from the stove as you work at the other fixings. You follow the list on the fridge. The paper is a bit yellowed but you can read it nonetheless. At least Clark’s mother is a planner. Although a few of her ingredients are a bit... aged. Nothing you can’t use but the spices have a little extra dust on the caps. 

Clark appears again. He’s been pacing in and out, helping where he can, but he seems too restless to focus. You tap pause on your phone to stop the music. You don’t get any signal out here but you have a bunch downloaded. It helps ease the silence that thickens with the fall of snow. 

“So, how’s mom? She doing okay?” You ask. 

“Mom?” He hesitates, “yeah, she’s getting there. Sorry about this. I know the whole reason you did this was to make her happy. For me. I just didn’t expect--” He blows out a heavy breath and leans on the counter. “It’s hard when you get older and everyone you love starts to leave. Or change.” 

Your heart flickers. You try not to frown too deep, “I’m sorry, Clark.” You look back down at the bowl of soaking cranberries. You take your family for granted. The might be a little toxic but they’re there. 

“Not your fault. I just... I thought I had it figured out with Lois. Everyone was happy and my mom was ecstatic,” he clutches his hands together. You meet his eyes sheepishly. “I just wanted her to be that way again. And you’re so sweet and nice.” 

“Aw, Clark. Well, you know, I should thank you. At least I’m not alone on Christmas,” you try to pep yourself up. “Um, I gotta wait for these cranberries a little long. Could I use the bathroom?” 

“Right, er, it’s just down the hall,” he points towards the second doorway that interconnects with the same hallway that leads back to the stairs. 

“Thanks,” you wipe your hands on a dishcloth and leave him with a thin smile. 

As you flit out, your chest sinks. You think of everything you’ve said since you got there, how insensitive it must have seemed. And back in the car when you complained about your mom. Ugh, he must think you’re so ungrateful. 

You close yourself in the bathroom and tend to your business. You’d been holding it since he picked you up from your building. You wash your hands, pumping the soap bottle hard to dislodge a clog in the tube. You finally finish up but find the smell of mildew stuck to your hands from the towel. 

You come out of the bathroom and look up and down the hallway. You shift to see the framed picture a bit better. Those must be his parents, and little Clark. You can’t believe he was ever that small. 

There are other pictures across the table below. A cluster of frames; class photos, impromptu snaps of memories, and posed family shots. Beneath one, there’s a slip of paper. You try not to be intrusive but the fading font catches your eye. You lean in as you tilt the frame to see the full letter, the card bent and forgotten beneath. 

‘Our condolences. We were so sorry to hear of your mother’s passing. Please do let us anything we can do for you.’ The message is signed Mallory and Chuck. You blink in confusion. Maybe it’s an old card meant for his mother; for a grandparent. 

“She died last year,” Clark startles you so you whip up and nearly tip as you stand straight. “It’s my first Christmas without her,” he continues. “I’m sorry I lied but I didn’t want to be alone.” 

You shake your head. Confusion swells through your stomach and clouds your brain. The fog clears and your eyes wander up to the ceiling. 

“Your mom?” 

“I miss her,” his voice cracks. “She took care of me.” 

“Oh, well, yeah,” you quaver unevenly. You’re reeling. Why would he lie about that? And to get you here? You’re just coworkers. “That must be hard.” 

“Mhm,” he nods and pouts. As he comes closer, you tense, wavering with his steps. “You’re not mad at me?” 

Your lips part then close. The wind whistles outside and reminds you of how isolated this place is. Clark drove you here... 

“I’m just... wondering why you need to lie,” you eke out. 

“I know it’s wrong but... if I told the truth, you might say no.” 

You nod and as he reaches for you, you wince away. You hug yourself and push your shoulders up. You swallow, “Clark, what is the truth? Why am I here?” 

He tilts his head and his eyes drift to the side. The light fades in his pupils and his jaw clenches. His fingers twiddle by his leg. 

“To be with me,” he looks at you again and smiles. A smile shadowed sinisterly beneath the worn bulb above. “You’re alone too.” 

You stare at him. Terror floods your veins and paralyses you. You want to turn and run but you won’t get far. All you can do is bide your time and hope that you can find a chance and way to get out. But for now, with him so close, so much bigger, you have to pretend. That is exactly what he asked you to do, after all. 

[silassinclair]

Hi! It's me the "Maddox with a sassy y/n" annon. Omg i just saw your post and it made my Whole Week! 😭

Thank you so much!

Anyway, i have a new request (if that is alright). I saw that you have a yandere Boxer but i didn't see to much info on him.

Could we get an introduction or some information for him? I'm really curious.

As always, have great day/night! ✨

Sorry this took a while to answer, just came back from the Philippines and I saw this req in my inbox. I’ve been waiting to write for him so now I have the chance to!! Hope you like it :D Also the beginning of this is really long, boring, and angsty but bear with me ya'll :) Also the Russian is google translate so it may be inaccurate :(

Masterlist Here!!

Next Part Here!!

Yandere Boxer x Reader

Viktor Markov was not the man you thought he was; well, not anymore. You both were raised in a small eastern European town. Him being the boy next door; always covered in dirt and was the sweetest little boy who would bring you flowers and bugs that he found. And you were the weird little girl who would collect the rocks and flowers that he gifted you with a smile. So naturally the two of you became friends, two peas in a pod.

He always had your back and you always had his. Growing up together in eastern Europe was hard. Both of you came from a pretty rough neighborhood and home life but that didn't stop you two from being happy. After all you only needed each other. It was just you two against the world. And it was like that for years.

Well, that was until high school. Viktor stopped talking to you in Sophomore year. Your calls went ignored, socials un-interacted, and texts delivered. So you just gave up. You no longer chased after him or begged him to tell you what was wrong when all he did was give you a cold shoulder. And honestly, you just didn't want to be around him anymore.

He got in with a bad crowd. Some upperclassmen guys who would just skip class to smoke. And seeing your childhood best friend become one of them broke your heart. You tried, you really did. But instead the blonde snapped at you, telling you to stop acting like his Mother and that he didn't need you anymore. And he was right, Viktor was more grown up now. Hard jawline, firm muscles, and standing at a staggering 6'3 feet tall.

He didn't need your back anymore.

And you didn't need his.

High school was a blur. You kept to your studies and only had a small circle of friends that consisted of all girls who have all been friends longer than before you ever came around. You were the grass friend. They all walked on the sidewalk while you trailed behind to the side; always stepping in the mud and grass. They weren't really your friends, you just didn't want to be alone. And they didn't see you as a friend, they just didn't want you to be alone. Pitiful isn't it?

But none of it mattered. It was all over and done in the blink of an eye. After high school was university and in university was medical school and after medical school was a new beginning. Being a docotor was never really your dream. It was your parent's dream and they just wanted the best for their little girl. You didn't want to disapoint them and go to culinary school like what you really wanted. So you worked and went to med school at the same time.

It was hard. It really was. You have no friends, no social life, and no one has your back. Yet it's your job to have people's backs. Ironic and unfair. But that's life.

Money was getting tight. Paying off student loans and working multiple jobs was getting exhausting. Living? No, it felt like you were dying. But you got offered a job you could not refuse. A patient came into your office. It was an older man in his early 50s.

"You're quite quiet for a doctor." He says. "Shy thing are you?"

You give him a silent nod. Hopefully this conversation doesn't take the turn you don't want it to take. Getting harassed by patients as a woman doctor is scarily common.

"I need a doctor. One like you; diligent, quiet, and quite the eye candy. Work for me krasivyy (beautiful). The pay is better than working in this heap clinic."

You eye him oddlyand whisper, "Why do you need me? Do you want me to be one of those underworld doctors or something? If so then no. I won't be patching up assassins or serial killers."

The man laughs, his voice booming in the small examination room.

"No no. You won't be dealing with any of those type. But this still is underground as you say. I own an underground boxing ring. And I need a doctor to patch up my fighters. Illegal, but good pay no?

You thought about it for two minutes then finally gave your answer.

“When do I start?”

The man’s name is Radko. And right now you’re in his gym. It’s dark, stinky, and full of shirtless men training for their next match. You thought you felt out of place in school? Nope, this is 100x worse. And some of these guys are acting like they’ve never seen a woman before.

“Stop looking at me like that weirdo.” You think to yourself while walking past a guy on a bench who’s wiping the sweat off his chest. His hungry gaze on you sends shivers down your spine.

“Ignore their stares.” Radko puts a rough hand on your shoulder. “They’re not used to seeing pretty women.”

“Yeah I can see that.” You mutter.

You two stop in front of the door near the back of the gym. It says “Clinic” in front of the door. He opens the door and you’re greeted with a surprisingly clean office. Radko must have cleaned up a little when he knew you would be coming.

“This is where you’ll be. Some guys will walk in pretty roughed up. Just patch em up abd send them on their way. If any of em try anything with you, you tell me right away. Okay?”

Radko was like a Dad and you liked that about him. A pretty intimidating Dad who owns an illegal boxing ring but what does that matter. Doesn’t particularly make him a bad person.

“Okay. Thank you.” You say with a warm smile.

“Ah you’re so milyy (cute)! Please don’t quit within the first week, I don’t think my heart can handle it if you go.” Radko says and hugs you. You give the big man a pat on the back in return.

“I’ll leave you to it now. You’ll receive your pay bi-weekly. See you now.”

And with that you were left alone. You were left in a small private clinic you could call your own. Maybe this job wouldn’t be as bad as you thought? But all positive thoughts flew out the window when your first patient of the day walked in.

Tall, pale, short blonde hair, scarred torso, muscle on muscle, and piercing blue eyes. All features of someone whom you thought you would never see again. Who you never wanted to see again.

“Kroshechnyy?” (Tiny)

God that nick name. There was a time it would make you smile and laugh. But now it just pissed you off. He had the audacity to call you that as if you two were still buddy buddy? No, fuck that. Fuck him.

“It’s Y/n to you now. What do you want Viktor?”

The man’s face creased with pain. Not physical, no, something worse.

“What are you doing here? This place isn’t for you.” His voice was a deeper timbre from when you last spoke to him Sophomore year. He walks closer to you and you can smell his sweat from training but also… Jean Paul Gaultier? Why would you wear designer fragrance at a gym? Weirdo.

Little did you know when he saw you walk in the gym he immediately raced to the locker room to freshen up and see you.

“I’m a doctor. I got a side job from Radko.” You explain swiftly. “If you’re uninjured then please leave. Other patients may come in with actual reasons to see me.”

Rather than face to face you’re face to chest with him. How the hell did he get so tall? You crane your neck up to meet his eyes.

His expression stiffens. His usual cold demeanor returns.

“You shouldn’t be here. This place isn’t for you. It’s dangerous.”

You roll your eyes. “I think I can manage. Now please leave me alone. You’re the last person I ever want to see.”

Viktor ignores the comment and his gaze remains ice cold. You nearly shiver, did the room temperature drop?

“Stop acting childish. Tell Rad that you quit.”

“But I’m not quitting.”

He steps closer.

“I’ll make you.”

“And what are you gonna do?”

He bends down to your level and scoffs.

“I don’t need to lift a finger. You’ll get scared and run off with your tail between those little legs of yours. These men here will eat you alive.”

Did he not think you knew that before you signed up for all this? You were aware of what you walked into. Underground gym, surrounded by men, all physically fit to the max. They could rip you in half. But you needed this job. There wasn’t time to be afraid.

“Yeah yeah I know. I don’t need your lecture. Now get out before I tell Radko.”

Viktor leans closer. His nose mere centimeters from yours.

“Don’t come crying to me when you get hurt.”

“If I get hurt then I’ll just patch myself up. I didn’t go through 4 years of med school just to cry when I’m in pain.”

The tall Russian growls lowly to himself and leaves, not before slamming the door of course.

“Fuck…”

This new job of yours just got worse tenfold.

It’s been about two weeks since you started working here. And you’ve met all of Radko’s men. They weren’t as bad as you thought they would be. Yeah they would flirt with you but not in the gross way. They knew when to quit.

Well, all of them except for Vladimir. The same one who eyed you like a piece of meat the first day you came here. Everyday he would come to the clinic to shoot his shot. And everyday you turned him down.

“Little kotenok (kitten) is still feisty.” Vladimir clicks his tongue. He manspreads in the examination chair, flexing his ab muscles and turning his head to the side to show off his impressive jawline. But all it does is un-impress you.

“If you’re going to waste my time like this everyday then I’m going to tell Radko.” You firmly state and cross your arms.

Like a kicked puppy the boxer whines, “Nooooo. I’m sorry please don’t kick me out. This is the only room besides Coach’s that is air conditioned.”

You can’t help but chuckle at that.

“Not my problem, do an ice bath or something.”

Vladimir chuckles and goes to say something else but stops himself when he sees and hears the door open. You also turn your attention to the door, wondering who it is and why they didn’t knock.

“Get out.” Viktor says. His voice like stone, as is his glare. His bloody swollen eye only ads to his intimidating aura.

Vladimir gets out of the chair and groans. “Way to be a cockblock Vicky.” He says mockingly.

You were about to shoot in and say how there was no way you would give him the light of day but Viktor had other plans. His fist makes contact with Vladimir’s abdomen with a mean punch. Making the other man wheeze and keel over in pain.

“Get the fuck out.” Viktor grabs him by the hair and kicks him out of the office. Literally. The door then slams shut, leaving you alone with your heated childhood friend.

“Thanks…” You mutter. Unable to look into his eyes, well… eye. The other is swollen shut.

He grunts and sits on the examination bed. Getting into doctor mode you walk over to Viktor and assess the damage. There’s a few bruises on his ribs but his eyes seem to be the worst. Delicately you touch part of the bruised eye and he inwardly flinches, making you draw your hand back in an instant.

“What happened?” You softly ask.

“Alexei sucker punched me. Dick.”

You stifle a laugh, making your patient deadpan. “Typical Alexi. I’ll tell him off the next time he comes in here complaining about his stomach aches.”

Viktor and you are silent when you rub ointment on his bruises. After the ointment is all done you hand him an icepack.

“Use this for the eye.”

He nods and thanks you with a silent nod. Then, he leaves just like that.

After that you would see more of Viktor and less Vladimir. To be honest you’ve been seeing less of everyone. Everyday Viktor came in with new reasons to come to you. Headaches, head trauma, bruises, scratches, and the worst was a dislocation.

“What is it this time?” You don’t even need to face the door to know who it is.

“He needs help!”

You whip around immediately, nearly spilling your coffee. You see Alexi and Cain at the door and draped over their shoulders is an unconscious Vladimir. You run over to them and tell them to lay Vladimir down on the bed gently while you assess his condition.

“What happened!?” You say worriedly. He was barely breathing. You begin doing chest compressions.

“We found him outside. Some of those bastards from west gym probably did this to him…” Cain says, his eyes are full of rage.

The compressions aren’t working. So instead you ready up the life support. He won’t last long with traumatic brain injuries like this.

“What’s gonna happen to him Doc?” Alexi sounds the most worried. He’s just a kid, only being 17.

“I’m putting him under life support.” And it was damn hard to do it on your own.

“Thank you.” Cain says. He puts a hand on the small of Alexi’s back. “Let’s leave her alone. She’s busy.”

The two men leave. Leaving you alone with Vladimir who has one foot in hell. No offense Vladimir, but no way you’re going to heaven. All day you stay by Vladimir’s side. Other men come in to check on him or get patch ups. And you go about your job, leaving the unconscious man to rest on the bed.

If I knew she would be stuck to his side like glue then I never would have beaten the fucker half to death. The plan was to kill him but the stubborn bastard just didn’t want to die. I watch Y/n from outside the clinic. The window’s blinds are open. She’s so close yet so far; always out of my reach. Part of it is my fault. I was the one who pushed her away after all.

But I had no choice. I didn’t want her involved with the people I was involved with in high school. I needed them in order to get some side jobs. Hell, a couple of them box for Radko too at this gym. I thought Y/n would be gone from my life for good, but I was wrong. I thought God was punishing me for the things I have done but it seems like he took pity on me just this once by bringing her back to me and letting me have a second chance.

But so far I’m making no progress. What even is love? I know I love her but I don’t know how. All I know is that I need to protect her from all the wolves here. I already staked my claim on her but one fucker didn’t want to listen. Vladimir, that egotistical thorn in my side. The next chance I get I'll kill him for good. It's not like this is my first time killing for her after all.

High school was when I first took someone's life. Some upperclassman bitch was harassing Y/n. I couldn't stand watching her suffer. And I couldn't comfort her like before when we were young; by this time I already cut off Y/n for good. But I knew there was something I could do. So I killed her. And I killed anyone who dared breathe Y/n's name wrong.

I'll do whatever I can to protect the love of my life. Slowly, little by little, I'll win her back. She'll be mine again and we'll be even closer than friends. But for now I'll do what I can to keep her safe from the sidelines. Even if it means she'll find out and hate me forever.

[hexcoreviktor]

✨ GOMENS FIC RECS ✨

i asked for people's favorite fics and sharing is caring :)

(i included my own recs as well)

feel free to reblog and add more!

❤️ recommended by @oldzhishen ❤️

Crown of Thorns series by irisbleufic (rating G-E)

This series was never intended to be a series as such: I wrote "A Better Place" in the wake of rather accidentally getting to ask a certain question (What are Aziraphale and Crowley doing on the South Downs, anyway?) of both authors within a week of each other back in 2005 and actually getting an answer (Sharing a cottage), thinking it'd just be a happy little one-off. But something curious happened when my Good Omens Exchange 2010 assignment resulted in "The Walls, the Wainscot, and the Mouse." From that point onward, interest in this little 'verse slowly, but steadily picked up momentum, and I kept finding more stories to tell. Some of the characters that appear herein (Phillippa [Pippa] Morrison, the Mouse, Amanda [Mandy] Tomlin, Uriel, Raphael, et al.) first turned up in my one and only attempt at a second-Apocalypse dark mirror universe, A Crown of Stars (AO3 posting of same) and its follow-ups, which predates this series considerably. The two universes parallel each other, but this one is, for our purposes, post novel-canon and set in our reality. That's pretty much what you need to know. Thank you all for continuing to read and also for giving this project life. I'll continue to add stories and ficlets until I run out of ideas or until my heart stops (whichever comes first)! The current existing pieces are complete; the series overall is ongoing on an as-and-when basis, which means that the time between additions may be weeks or months or, in rare instances, up to a year.

Madman and a Fool by loserchildhotpants (rating E)

God considers Crowley's unyielding pining for Aziraphale, his acts during the End of the World, and his very genuine desire to protect Aziraphale, worth rewarding. She can't make him an Angel again, but She can nudge Aziraphale in the right direction. If nothing else, She'd really just like Crowley to stop using Her prayer inbox for endless soliloquies about Aziraphale.

Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach by Nnm (rating T)

As soon as Aubrey Thyme, psychotherapist, had opened her office door and seen her new client, Anthony J. Crowley, sitting in her waiting area, she was observing and assessing him. At first glance, she paid attention to the following: --His clothing was expensive and stylish; --He wore very strange but noticeable cologne; --His relationship to the seat he occupied could only, very loosely, be described as “sitting;” --He looked angry; --He was wearing sunglasses. What Aubrey Thyme, a professional, thought, upon first seeing her new client was: you’re going to be a fun one, aren’t you?

A Home at the Beginning of the World by stereobone (rating E)

"Oh," Aziraphale says. "I think Crowley might have moved in with me."

For the Angel Who Has Everything by triedunture (rating E)

Crowley likes giving Aziraphale things. Whatever he wants, actually. Which, happily, includes Crowley himself, as it turns out.

I'm the treasure baby, I'm the prize by stereobone (rating E)

"Are you working for Mrs. Sandwich?" Nina asks. "No," Crowley says. "Well, yes. Well, define 'working'." -- Or, Crowley is very good at faking sex work, as it turns out.

🧡 recommended by @reloha 🧡

let me feel your heartbeat (grow faster, faster) by thehoyden (rating T)

Aziraphale saw him sometimes in all-staff meetings, sitting toward the front but off to the side, lounging against a wall. Even then, he’d had style—wings tipped in gold and face painted with gold flakes in the pattern of the first constellation he designed. He was amazing, and eye-catching, and it was no exaggeration to say that he did not know Aziraphale even existed.

You'll Find Something Waiting (Right There Where You Left It) by PrimalBeatsOurHearts (rating T)

"Lets go in the Garden, "You'll find something waiting" "Right there where you left it" "Lying upside down" ------------ Or What if Crowley was Erased from The Book Of Life?

Moving Forward While Standing Still by Justanothernerdsstuff (rating G)

“Uh, yeah, sure! Thanks,” They replied and walked away, not sure why this specific book was so important to the angry man, but they were £50 richer, so they didn’t really care. Crowley flipped through the book, stalling making the decision to go into the bookshop to confront Muriel. He turned to walk away, stopped, groaned, and stalked his way into the bookshop. *** Crowley finds himself at Give Me Coffee Or Give Me Death a month after Aziraphale left to run Heaven, and ends up back at the bookshop, something he never planned to do again.

7 minutes in heaven by waddlesthejoghog (rating T)

"If Crowley and Aziraphale couldn’t figure it out, Muriel would have to take a different approach. It wasn’t enough to put them in the same location. They had to plant some seeds of conversation. They had to come to a conclusion naturally, but with a push." OR Muriel reads every book in the shop, then comes up with a plan to get Aziraphale and Crowley back together.

In the Pocket of the Universe by indieninja92 (rating E)

Immediately after the church scene (and The Slow Zoom of Homosexual Panic), Aziraphale takes Crowley out for dinner in the only place still open in the middle of an air raid. Feelings closely follow.

How to Run a Bookshop by IneffableDoll (rating T)

Muriel has been running Aziraphale’s bookshop ever since his promotion Upward. Mr. Crowley seems intent on sticking around, and Muriel has no idea what to do about that. Then, Muriel stumbles upon a collection of sketchbooks full of a familiar redhead. Did…Aziraphale draw these? Has Mr. Crowley seen them? * (“No. No. Put that back.” “Oh, but isn’t it cute? A little cup with wings! I don’t suppose it can fly like those birds can? I don’t see what a cup needs wings for, really.” “You can’t use that.” “Of course not! These wings are too small for me, and I have my own if I want to get around.” “Wh – okay, first off, you can’t go flying about London. You’ll freak people out, cause a bunch of chaos – actually, you know what, do what you like. Heaven if I care. But don’t touch that mug.” “Is it dangerous?” “…No. But it’s not yours. And it’s not polite to use something that’s not yours. Not very angelic of you.” “Oh! Of course. I knew that.”)

💛 recommended by @cheeekycharchar 💛

Together We're Golden series by Guardian_Rose (rating G-T)

Crowley & Aziraphale move to a small town, into their own little cottage but it's not without its difficulties.

True Disaster by NuriaSchnee (rating E)

After Crowley saves him in 1941, Aziraphale realises he's fallen in love with the demon. Scared this dangerous feeling of his will cause problems to his friend, he tries to break their relationship. However, his plan to push the demon away fails and they end up admitting their feelings to each other. To be able to be together and keep it a secret, Crowley stops time every time they meet. However brilliant this seems at first, it doesn't take long to backfire, opening new wounds and raising more barriers between them.

Nanny Knows Best by DictionaryWrites (rating M)

Being a nanny, that should be simple. Simple. Easy as pie. Crowley wished that were true.

💚 recommended by yours truly 💚

Strange Moons series by racketghost (rating G-E)

“At least they were together for a time,” Crowley says, staring at the lit end of his cigarette, “maybe that’s enough.”

tales from a bookshop by Rizandace (rating T)

Post-season-two. Crowley's moping, Aziraphale wants to fix things, and turns out, there's enough blame to go around. ----- "You're being ridiculous." Crowley very nearly falls over. Like, actually. He very nearly loses balance for no reason at all and tumbles to the sidewalk next to his car. He’s been playing Aziraphale’s voice in his head for weeks, he’s been trying very hard to drown out the sound of it, in fact, and now suddenly, abruptly— “What are you doing here,” is all he can think to say. He whirls around, and there he is. on Crowley’s right, standing there like he’d never left. Where he belongs, Crowley’s mind helpfully supplies. He wishes he could punch himself in the brain, knock the thoughts right on out of there.

Meanwhile the World Goes On by lineslines (rating G)

Crowley looked at him. He was still wearing his suit, there was tartan in it, but it had become polished, the worn edges returned to pristine, boring perfection. He looked prim. Proper. Perhaps this hurt most of all. (Crowley is on earth, Aziraphale is not. Meanwhile the world goes on. Plans, great and possibly ineffable, are set into motion. They are--always, inevitably--drawn back together. Long before reconciliation, long before they can bear it. The only thing they can bear less is staying apart. Oh, and Heaven seems to have misplaced Jesus.)

So You Need To Get Into A.Z. Fell & Co.; Now What? (A Guide For Unfortunate Bookworms) by c4llistrad (rating G)

London’s antique enthusiasts and rare lit nerds alike know that if you’re looking for a specific vintage or antique book, you have a good chance of ending up in A.Z. Fell & Co. as a last resort. And if you’ve ever been in (or are currently in) this predicament, you know how much of an absolute nightmare it is trying to even get in the door. Luckily, this handy guide, the fruit of a months-long collaborative effort to create the perfect formula for gaming the A.Z. Fell system, will tell you everything you need to know, complete with a comprehensive breakdown of what, exactly, the opening hours are. Compiled by pageknight and inky of the Rare Antique Forums.

Like Icarus Before Me by Arokel (rating T)

If Aziraphale were a Good person, a virtuous person, he wouldn’t have taken Crowley’s hand at all. Aziraphale muses on the nature of Goodness, and finally shares those musings with Crowley.

It's Something Like a Corkscrew by Arokel (rating G)

“How do you live with this… this inevitability? This knowledge of what’s to come?”

So let us melt by Arokel (rating G)

Of the two of them, Crowley thinks Aziraphale has held on to more of his faculties than Crowley has, but then again, he is putting off angelic heat like a particularly virtuous furnace.

So Much to be Consoled as to Console by Arokel (rating T)

“What are you,” Crowley drawled, “the patron saint of queer kids?” A series of lost souls over the centuries who prayed, whether they knew it or not, to the Angel Aziraphale.

Factory Settings by Anonymous (rating T)

Crowley gets reinstated as an angel.

such surpassing brightness by bibliocratic (rating G)

The revelation that Aziraphale might have been in love with him for thousands of years is surprising. The fact that literal books have been written on the subject comes as even more of a shock.

knowing this will I reach for you by Aria (rating E)

It wasn't as though his interest in Aziraphale was entirely appropriate. Of course it wasn't bloody appropriate. He was consorting with the Enemy, nothing about it was appropriate.

The Sandford Flower Show by Mussimm (rating E)

Crowley had waited six thousand years, kept it all in check. But this was the slipperiest slope he’d ever set foot on and as soon as he’d indulged in a few discretionary acts of kindness he was falling face first into pining, tumbling into flirting, about to dislocate his knees on the sharp rocks of intimacy. Was this really it? What he had waited six thousand years for? A stupid flower show? Aziraphale wasn’t pulling away from him. Maybe… maybe this time he wouldn’t? Maybe they’d hold hands again. Maybe tonight with a bottle of merlot in them he’d finally work up the courage and just kiss him and he wouldn’t pull away. The very moment he’d thought it he spotted the problem at the flower show.

you knew my name on sight by brinnanza (rating G)

“This wasn’t me, you know,” Crowley says, the words out of his mouth before he’s made the conscious choice to utter them. “Not just the library, but the whole civil war. You know me; I’ve mostly been getting drunk at Bacchanals.” “I know,” says Aziraphale.

The Longest Night series by charlottemadison (rating T-E)

The night the Apocalypse doesn't happen, an angel and a demon share a bus bench on the way home to face their fates. This is the story of their evening spun out line by line, all the little moments that carried them through the night they knew might be their last.

Witness the Fall by Waifine (rating G)

Crowley never talked about his time as an angel. Aziraphale never asked. But when Hell sends Crowley a package containing his most painful memories, it is Aziraphale who is plunged into the nightmare history of when his beloved friend, the angel who had once been Crowley, was hurled from the Heavens into the bowels of Hell.

An Angel who did not so much Fall In Love as Settle Into It Gradually by TheLadyZephyr (rating G)

Crowley was standing in the middle of the room, hands in his pockets, looking a little lost. Aziraphale eyed the distance between them. Five steps. Five steps, and six thousand years, and a battlefield spanning an eternity. The story of the little moments over the millennia that shape an angel’s regard for a demon, and the way he slowly, with great reluctance but inevitable surety, falls in love.

This Soul Outstreaming by Rend_Herring (rating E)

“Why did you come here?” Aziraphale interrupts. “Why do you keep doing this?” All the saving, he means, all the chasing after Aziraphale he does. It can’t only be that he’s not keen to endure a replacement. That can’t be it, not anymore. He’s going to get himself in trouble, and then it’ll be Aziraphale’s fault. Crowley’s mouth shuts with a click. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, reaches for the handle of the fork and taps his fingertips against it before setting his hands in his lap. When he speaks, it’s very soft. “Don’t you know?” he asks. Aziraphale, unnaccustomed to his heart refusing to translate why it throbs with such haste, shakes his head.

a lighthouse (burning) by books-and-omens (rating M)

In good weather, one can see the lighthouse at the Rock from the shore: a dot on the horizon, a distant star flashing red and white and red again. It’s been dark for a fortnight, of course—ever since the incident that every newspaper had breathlessly written about, that the paper-boys on the corners had shouted themselves hoarse over. This is where Aziraphale is headed: it is his duty, after all, to find out what happened, to make sure that the beacon can be safely lit once again. He does not expect Crowley to follow him to the windswept isle, to the lonely lighthouse at what could just as well be the edge of the world. Crowley follows him anyway.

paint the skies by ToEdenandBackAgain (rating G)

“This was one of yours, wasn’t it?” Aziraphale remarks casually, and Crowley feels like the warmth of the room has been sucked into space. A cold, uneasy feeling begins to creep into his gut. One of yours thrown out so casually. One of yours said like he... like he knew “What.”

Good Endings by WyvernQuill (rating T)

A Narrative of Certain Events following the Ending of the World (Except Not Quite), as vaguely hinted at in The Slapdash and Not Very Helpful Prophetic Tidbit of Agnes Nutter, Witch (And Matchmaker.) "Their lives are in horrible, terrible danger that only we can save them from!" Anathema held up the Prophetic Tidbit. "It says so. Right here." Madame Tracy peered at the page. Raised a meaningful eyebrow. "Dearie, as a woman of, well, considerable experience, I really don't think that's what 'the lyttle Deathe' means in this context..." "Huh." Anathema squinted. Flipped the page. Read another bit. "....huh." (Or, alternatively: Eight - give or take - matchmakers trying really, really hard, honest; two clueless ethereal/occult beings mutually pining their endless days away; and one witch, who can't leave well enough alone when it comes to matters of the heart, no matter how many centuries ago she died.)

If We've Got Nothing (We've Got Us) by Kedreeva (rating G)

Two months after the failed apocalypse Aziraphale finds the first dark feather growing in his wings. A story about middle grounds, ineffable plans, and what happens when the world doesn't end.

lit in the darkness by ToEdenandBackAgain (rating M)

Aziraphale returns to Crowley's flat for the night after Armageddon. After all, it's hardly the first time they've shared sleeping arrangements. Or: Times throughout history Crowley and Aziraphale have shared a bed.

💙 recommended by @vonlipwig 💙

Petrichor & Parchment by MrsNoggin (rating E)

“Mr. Crowley, I presume?” Aziraphale asked in lieu of an introduction, which was not forthcoming. The guy hadn’t even removed his sunglasses. Oh God, he had a tattoo on his face. Aziraphale wasn’t one to judge, but… what kind of gardener had a snake tattoo on his face?

💜 recommended by @darthbreezy 💜

post-professional endeavours by darcylindbergh (rating T)

Retirement is a four-letter word.

💗 recommended by @thegeekyartist 💗

Fire, Bridges, and other Sensible Idioms by KiaraMGrey (rating E)

To: The person who stopped the washer in the middle of my wash cycle and took my clothes out just to wash your own… You are an arsehole! Unfortunately for you, so am I. You can find your wet clothes frozen outside in the snow. If you have any problems with this, come see me in 301. or Aziraphale has a new neighbor, and they certainly don't start off on the right foot.

❤️ recommended by @weiwnxian ❤️

Any Other Name by mostlyanything19 (rating T)

“The Angel of the Eastern Gate.” Crawly grins. “What’s your name, anyway? You never said.” “Oh...” Apologies, Aziraphael almost says, but then he doesn’t. That would be taking things a bit too far. This is still the Enemy. “Aziraphael.” “Aziraphael,” repeats Crawly—or tries to, because halfway through the word he chokes. Quite badly. Or: What if Aziraphale’s name was originally "Aziraphael", in keeping with the conventional spelling and pronunciation of angel names, but because of its divine nature Crowley is physically unable to say it out loud.

[knickynoo]

Back to the Future: The Animated Series, s02ep013 "Verne Hatches an Egg"

✨Last episode of the series!✨

Previous episodes linked here.

In this episode: Verne gains a cute little buddy, creepy Mr. Wisdom returns, and a jarring final moment with Real Doc

Well, friends, we've reached the end of our journey into the world of the animated series. It was almost exactly one year ago today that I posted my review of the first episode, and it's been a super fun project to work on. I'm kind of sad to be done with it.

Let's see what this last episode has in store for us, shall we?

We start in the lab, where Doc is making adjustments to his latest invention, the "ELB Pediatric Policer."

It's basically a lie detector designed to be worn by children, lol. When a child does something they know is wrong, or if they lie about something, it flashes with lights and blares a siren. He plans to present it at the Annual Convention of the Home Inventors of Mad Geniuses.

Gonna be real with you, Doc—not sure how I feel about this invention. Sounds like a good way to raise very anxious, paranoid children.

Anyway, this reminds Doc of something that happened to Verne when he was doing show and tell one day.

The cartoon begins with someone attempting the steal the DeLorean. They're shrouded in shadows, but it's pretty clear that it's Verne. He's got a pretty high track record for DeLorean thievery. Doc's security system catches him, though, locking him into the car, setting off an alarm, and taking a picture, which is sent directly to Doc's room.

Quick little sidenote, but I don't think I've mentioned that Doc regularly calls Clara "Clarabelle" over the course of the series. When he's woken up by the alarm system, it's the name he uses to call to her, and I was like, "huh. why have I never written about this in my posts?" I looked it up, and Clarabelle (the spelling according to the subtitles on the DVD) is a variant of the more official spelling, which is Claribel. It means "bright and beautiful" but seems to be a pretty obscure name, as it's only listed at .009% usage at the height of its popularity in 1893.

So, I'm left wondering: Is the animated series implying that it's perhaps her "real" name, with Clara being her nickname? Or is this just an affectionate nickname Doc uses for Clara? And if it's a nickname, is it something Doc simply thought had a nice ring to it, or is it because he's secretly a big fan of the Disney character Clarabelle Cow??

That's Clarabelle with her boyfriend Horace Horsecollar, btw. If you even care.

Verne tells Doc that he was only taking the DeLorean so he could go looking for something cool to bring to show and tell. Doc decides to help him out by letting him borrow an arrowhead he has. Verne is psyched, but before he can even reach the school building, Biff Jr. intercepts him and demands his lunch money. He steals the arrowhead from Verne.

Verne's teacher isn't happy that he had nothing to show or tell about, and she tells him that if he doesn't bring in something the next day, she's going to make him play Prince Charming in the upcoming school play. Which is a really weird threat if you ask me!! How does one force a child into a lead role of a play he doesn't want to be in just because he didn't have show and tell? What kind of school is this?

Verne is horrified by this news on account of he'd have to kiss some girl named Beatrice. He says he'd rather be, "dead like a dinosaur" which gives him a sudden idea. I sense a bad decision coming! And I bet Marty is going to be in on it because he always enables Varne in these types of shenanigans.

Yep. I knew it.

The boys take a quick trip to prehistoric times, where Verne swipes a dino egg for show and tell.

Shortly after arriving home, the egg hatches, and Verne finds himself caretaker to the world's cutest dinosaur.

Look at that guy. (Verne faints when he sees it)

Within the hour, the dinosaur has already grown significantly, and it escapes outside to the yard, where Verne begs Jules to help in hiding him. Just then, they hear Doc approaching and quickly work to form a ridiculous story in which the dino is their friend who painted himself green because they're playing a game involving aliens.

They're able to get away with it on account of Einstein is so afraid of the dinosaur that he launches himself at Doc's face and refuses to move.

Doc decides to take Einie to the vet, leaving his sons and their "friend" to continue their game. Jules insists Verne return the dino, but Verne wants to keep him as a pet. He names him Tiny.

It doesn't take long for Tiny to go missing in town. He ends up at the Tannen home, where Biff Jr. is watching Mr. Wisdom (who you may remember from an episode earlier in the season). If you don't, you just need to know that Mr. Wisdom is an evil children's TV show host who also happens to be one of Doc's old college roommates.

Mr. Wisdom announces that he's offering $50,000 to any viewer who can capture and send in an alien, bigfoot, or dinosaur. Very unfortunate timing, huh? Biff captures Tiny and sends him into the Mr. Wisdom show. After airing a special episode featuring Tiny, Mr. Wisdom plans to kill him and sell pieces of him to research labs for money.

Thankfully, Verne comes clean to his parents, and they work together to form a plan and sneak onto the set to free Tiny.

When Mr. Wisdom starts his show and reveals the "dinosaur," it's really just Marty and Jules on stilts.

Jules looks just like the monkey in that one meme.

The family gets home and prepares to bring Tiny back where he belongs. Before he goes, he spits out a baby tooth, which Verne is excited to be able to take to show and tell.

With that story wrapped up, we go back to Real Doc, who teaches us a little about eggs using a raw one. While he's talking, he takes out the lunch he'd packed, of which one of the items is a hard-boiled egg. Can you guess what happens? Yeah, he mixes up the two eggs. After some time to think about it, he feels pretty confident that he's figured out which one is the hard-boiled one and. And he just BITES into the egg, shell and all, like an absolute lunatic. And he's wrong about it being the hard-boiled one.

Who does this? Who on EARTH eats a hard-boiled egg in this manner? Are you telling me that Doc regularly leaves the shells on his eggs and bites into them like an apple?? He eats the shells? Is that what I'm supposed to take away from this??

We're ending the animated series with the revelation that this is how our beloved scientist finds it acceptable to eat a hard-boiled egg?? What am I supposed to do with this now? How will I make peace with this information?

Join me next time for nothing. The animated series is over, folks. Doctor Emmett Brown eats eggshells.

Adiós.

[ardenrabbit]

Hello!

A Long and Slow Recovery - are we past the halfway point? I am so excited to see how everything turns out. Did you do a lot of research to delve into Xie Lian’s experience with recovery? It’s very well written with regard to his mental and emotional struggles. Also , I just love how you write Hua Cheng and Xie Lian’s interactions.

Those Worthy of Following( new name change!) - I gushed about it in your comment section but need to emphasize how much I love that opening chapter with the dual between Hua Cheng and Xie Lian. And this dynamic, of Hua Cheng being the prince, and Xie Lian being the bodyguard, is A+++. Xie Lian is so calm and kind and powerful. He was so fierce about Hua Cheng not talking down about himself. Like,yes gege, please show your Hua Cheng how precious he is, haha. I ❤️ reading Xie Lian showing his protectiveness of Hua Cheng, even from the man himself. I’m also keen to see how Feng Xin and Mu Qing will take to Xie Lian in this verse too.

Is there anything else you can share about it that’s not spoilers? If not, that’s fine too!

Your writing is just delicious - a pleasure, something to savor and come back to again and again.

Thank you!

Omg thank you so much 💕😭💕 Your comments are always such a delight!! It's so validating and encouraging and I hope you know that!!

We are indeed past the halfway point in alasr! I honestly just kind of know what happens in a big blob with like half a dozen bullet points, so I don't have a final chapter count ready, but Chapter 20 is basically the start of the second half of the story. I originally thought the fic was gonna end at just about the New Year celebration, but it turns out his recovery is taking a lot longer than that, and his recovery isn't even the only one we're dealing with now, so I got ambitious. The premise also uh deserves a little more closure and resolution than that lol, so Arc 2 is gonna be a little higher stakes than we've had so far.

I'm so glad you're enjoying how I'm writing Xie Lian and his recovery! Haha I did research a variety of other conditions and disabilities and read accounts from people who have them, because that's just good research. Honestly, though, inspiration for the vast majority of Xie Lian's mental/emotional struggles have been sourced from firsthand experience :)

I'm mentally and physically disabled and have been my whole life, and I wasn't even diagnosed with anything (I was somehow just diagnosed with Teenager) until I hit rock bottom about it in adulthood. I've gotten to a better place with the mental stuff, but even though it's no longer an active threat to me, my bad days can still leave me nonverbal, disconnected from reality, and sometimes catatonic. The physical stuff has been getting worse over the years, and even though I can still walk independently with a cane when I leave the house (as long as I rest a lot), I still fall down just walking in my own home. I keep having to remember that my chronic pain and fatigue isn't normal, and I keep getting evidence that I'm worse than I thought. I've had to reorganize my life around all of it and I'm uh. Not taking it well lately lol.

So alasr is my self-therapy project. Xie Lian is going to get better and I'm not, and that still kind of pisses me off lol, but it's nice to vent and see someone else get a happy ending. So...yeah, at least writing alasr has helped distract me from my own pity party, and Xie Lian's anger, despair, guilt, and forced optimism are cathartic for me. It's not just about me, though; obviously I'm trying to stay in character for him and write in the context of his specific circumstances. But I guess I relate to sick fic stuff lol

Fully aware that that was a lot of oversharing 💜

But ANYWAY, AS FOR ✨ THOSE WORTHY OF FOLLOWING ✨ I'm so glad you're liking that one so far too!! I craaaaave protective badass Xie Lian and I needed a different brand of angst and drama from alasr for a while lol. I love writing violence tbh. I don't wanna spoil too much, but I definitely wanna confirm this:

TWOF is NOT a post-canon reincarnation fic. I'm personally not up for writing that kind of loss of all their canon experiences. And there are probably some really well-written takes on it! It's just not personally my speed. 😅 This one might seem like a post-canon reincarnation fic in the first couple chapters, but it'll make more sense soon.

It IS angst with a HAPPY ending, I promise!! What I'm planning right now gets really rather sad and it might seem hopeless at some point, but I promise, I'm confident in my plan to make it genuinely happy and fulfilling!

I'm exploring a trope about which I've had some general hangups, but I honestly enjoy taking tropes and tweaking them to my preferences. I think a lot of people can already guess what trope I'm talking about, which is fine with me! If it means the buildup and foreshadowing are working, I'm happy it fits!

What I'm panicking about with this wip is that I've convinced myself that I need to earn a doctorate in Tang Dynasty battle and siege tactics to write it credibly lmao. I spent three hours the other night researching ancient Chinese fire starters and the differences between Han and Tang era tea preparation (to little avail). This one is gonna take a lot of research for my own peace of mind but I hope it pays off!

Mu Qing and Feng Xin are gonna be okay!! Someone commented on ch2 that they liked that Mu Qing got hurt because they hate him and I'm like...I didn't think I'd framed that as a good thing..... 😅 That was something a Bad Guy did.......... 😅😅😅

Thank you so much for your kind comments and all of the fun engagement!! I'm truly so honored that you've enjoyed my writing so far! 💖💖💖

[etes-secrecy-post]

Hi, before I explain my post, I want to say something important.

• What you see my blog has become a major overhaul. And despite the changes, I decided that my 2nd account will be now my artwork blog with a secret twist.

⚠️NEW RULE! (W/ BIGGER TEXT!)⚠️

⚠️ SO PLEASE DO NOT SHARE MY 2nd ACCOUNT TO EVERYONE! THIS SECRECY BLOG OF MINE IS FOR CLOSES FRIENDS ONLY!⚠️

• AND FOR MY CLOSES FRIENDS, DON’T REBLOG IT. INSTEAD, JUST COPY MY LINK AND PASTE IT ON YOUR TUMBLR POST! JUST BE SURE THE IMAGE WILL BE REMOVED AND THE ONLY LEFT WAS THE TEXT.

⚠️ SHARING LINKS, LIKE POSTS, REBLOG POSTS, STEALING MY SNAPSHOT PHOTOS/RECORDED VIDEOS/ARTWORKS (a.k.a. ART THIEVES) OR PLAGIARIZING FROM UNKNOWN TUMBLR STRANGERS WILL IMMEDIATELY BE BLOCKED, RIGHT AWAY!⚠️

😡 WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT EVER LIKED & REBLOG MY SECRET POST! THIS IS FOR MY SECRET FRIENDS ONLY, NOT YOU! 😡

Okay? Capiche? Make sense? Good, now back to the post…↓

Title: Happy 1st Anniversar, PopiKir!

So, let's keep the train going with my next finished art project! 😊✍️🖥️ Which, once again no #OnThisDay throwback post for this date.

• So, ummm... You may wondering, where's MuruKir 🔵⭐& PopiKir 🩷⭐? 🤔 Well, their home planet (which is somewhere than planet popstar), and PopiKir is throwing a party because she's celebrating her 1 year anniversary (, similar to Aace Speedster back in September). 🥳🎉🎂 Unfortunately, only MuruKir was invited than other OCs, which is sad to her. 😥 Why? Because the entire fam (namely 'The Speedsters', 'The Ramcats', and 'Rabbit/Fox Family') were busying at doing the 'Thanksgiving Stuff' 🦃🌽🍂🍁. And another unfortunate, both PopiKir & MuruKir won't spend their 'Thanksgiving' moment as they returned to their home planet for... Ummm reasons of unknown. 😥 But hey, at least they have a message from Cude 🐰🤖 & Mayu 🐇✨ on their behalf.

Cude 🐰🤖 & Mayu 🐇✨: Happy tremendous anniversary year, PopiKir! We will missed you! 🥰🤗

IMPORTANT NOTE: Now, the reason I said that was because... I don't feel drawing Kirby related artworks 😟😔, anymore owing to my bad reputation, and a dirty plagiarize person bastard from → 🇰🇷. 😡 As a result, I decided that my two current Kirby OCs put it their rest, in a LONG HIATUS until that plagiarize person was gone for good after throwing toxic comments, rallying, and most importantly report it, ban hammer it, and terminate all of its accounts. AND I MEAN 'EVERYTHING' before the dust is settled, and my two Kirby OCs we're finally returned from their hiatus! Happy 'FREAKING' ending! 😡 *Sigh* So, so sorry for my heated moment, I'm just releasing my emotional steam, that's all. *Breathe in & out* 😮‍💨 I'll be okay, my trusty friends...

Anyway, that's all for now and Happy 1st year anniversary, PopiKir 🩷⭐! 🥳🎉🎂

Want a meet 'PopiKir' 🩷⭐? Then please → [CLICK ME!].

PopiKir & MuruKir (Kirby OCs) - created by ME!

[asunsetgrace16]

⌜ ｉｎｓｔａｇｒａｍ ｅｄｉｔｓ ｐｒｏｍｐｔｓ ⌝

⌜ ｐｏｓｔ ｐｒｏｍｐｔｓ ⌝

Birthday

Soft Launch

Hard Launch

Valentines Day

Engagement Announcement

Pregnancy Announcement

Wedding Post

Vacation

Life Lately

Friends Appreciation

Night Out

New Years Eve

Christmas

Outed by the Media

⌜ ｃａｐｔｉｏｎｓ ⌝

Soft Launch

oh, i'm falling in love again

so i guess all the rumors are true 🥂❤️

call it what you want to 💌

all i know is that we said hello 💕🎀

at every table, i'll save you a seat 🍷🌹

we found wonderland 🤍

deep blue but you painted me golden 💛💫

is it chill that you're in my head 🌷💞

i met a boy, cute as can be

Valentines Day

you are the best thing that's ever been mine

your eyes look like coming home 💕☁️

this love is ours 💞🎀💌

swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover ❤️

love's a game, wanna play? 🌹💋

have i known you for 20 seconds, or 20 years? 💌 🌹

shining just for you ✨💕🪩

but it's golden ✨ 🤍

i've loved you three summers now, honey, but i want them all 💌❤️

one single thread of gold tied me to you 💫 🤍

i don't know how it gets better than this ❤️ 💫

at every table, i'll save you a seat 💕🥂

i'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home 🤍💕

can i go where you go? ❤️💌

can we always be this close? 🌹💋

all's well that ends well to end up with you r🩷🎀

king of my heart 🤍✨🏹

we never go out of style 💋☁️

'cuz i like you 💕🎀💌

you are the one i have been waiting for ✨💕

my one and only, my lifeline 🤍💫

uh, oh, i'm falling in love 💘 🌷

oh, i'm falling in love again ❤️ 💋

i'd like to hang out with you for my whole life ☁️💕

you beling with me

here's to my baby

i love you more

i wanna be your endgame

you are the one i've been waiting for

Travel

we found wonderland ✨🪽

grab your passport and my hand 🎫 💕

slowly lurching towards your favourite city 🌃

i know place we won't be found 🫧

lost in the memories 📸☁️

voted most likely to run away with you 🎫 🌃

capture it, remember it 🎞️🌇

worlds away

let's run away now

back beneath the sun

i don't know how it gets better than this

the right place at the right time

i remember how we felt sitting by the water

this big, wide city all to ourselves

all the beautiful times

drinking on a beach

welcome to new york

General

confetti falls to the ground

life in pictures

remember this moment

when it was hot & it was summer

I had the time of my life with you

so magnetic is was almost obnoxious

we never go out of style

shared dinners, long weekends

mismatched star signs

blue dress on a boat

taking your time in the tangerine neon light

midnights like this

my aura's moonstone

make the friendship barcelets

it's me, hi

meet me at midnight

how evergreen our group of friends

the best people in life are free

remember this moment

we're young and we're reckless

their parties were taseful, if a little loud

born to be national treasures

waves crash on the shore

red lip classic

standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset

Summer/Spring

summer lovin', had me a blast

summer lovin', happened so fast

Night Out/Birthday

confetti falls to the ground 💫 🪩

this night is sparkling ✨🪩

3am edition 🖤🌙

and btw, i'm going out tonight 🥂

we were too busy dancing to get knocked off our feet 💌🍷

meet me at midnight 🌃🌙

dancing with our hands tied

sequin smile, black lipstick 💄🖤

midnights become my afternoons 🌙

how'd we end up on the floor anyway? 🥂

late in the night, the city's asleep ✨🪩

i'm not even sorry, the nights are so starry ✨

dancin' in your levi's, drunk under a streetlight 🍷

glitter on the floor after the party

champange problems 🥂

i want your midnights

the one we danced to all night long

i have this thing where i get older ✨🕯️

it was the end of a decade, but the start of an age 💫🤍

with a big cake, happy birthday 🎂

older but just never wiser 🕯️🎀

take the moment and taste it 🍰💌

Winter/Christmas/Holiday

winter nights

back to december

it gets colder and colder when the sun goes down

under the mistletoe 🎄

'tis the damn season

in from the snow

Wedding/Engagement

voted most likely to run away with you 💍

i don't know how it gets better than this

let's run away now

would you run away with me?

all the beautiful times

remember this moment

[sickness-health-all-that-shit]

hello! i was watching ian and mickey scenes through *the* youtube channel, i'm not too deep into the lore of the fandom but! i read that noel wanted to be paid more for his role which is why they wrote him off on s6 etc. reading some comments through clips from the other seasons he is not in i saw that the ''reasons'' as of why ian seems not to care of him was because of his medication and pretending to keep himself steady but with s7 it went down after seeing him again + monica's death (and that's also why he's maniac again :0) thankfully right after they're back together which makes my serotonin skyrocket! i mostly read fics that are a sort of fix it or with mickey coming back right after monica dying etc. i didn't know about these infos before so i thought it was kind of fanon that ian goes maniac because of that and that he never said ''i love you'' to anyone but mickey. i wanted to ask you what is your take on ian's feelings when mickey wasn't around? gotta say that it makes me feel way better knowing that despite their effort to remove mickey from the series they managed to make it was all about him/leading back to them together! i hope i didn't disturb you with this ask but im having feelings!!! eheh

hi there! totally valid to have ✨feelings✨ about this, especially when you first start diving into their history and relationship!! my own deep-dive under the cut:

I do believe Noel left bc of contract renegotiations, yes. and after that fans were not happy with (and were very vocal about) the show trying to 'replace' Mickey with other boyfriends for Ian and having Ian badmouth Mickey etc. anyway, if we're keeping this to in-universe explanations as to how Ian felt about Mickey during those seasons, my interpretation is this: at the start of s6, Ian was in a very, very bad place. we see that at some point he started taking his meds (despite his previous refusal to do so like during the breakup in 5x12) but he's very clearly going through depression at that stage. let's keep in mind that at the time he was dealing with accepting his diagnosis, something he struggled a lot with both bc of the comparisons with Monica and bc of how much he valued his independence, so acknowledging the need for outside help and someone to care for him when he's not feeling well is particularly hard for him. he also just came out of a long period of being unmedicated--I've seen people suggest symptoms first started manifesting at the end of s3, and might've influenced his decision to go off to the army with everything that that brought as a consequence and all the choices he made as a result of that.. his life had changed dramatically in that period (he dropped out of school, left his home and his siblings, worked in nightclubs as a minor and of course he went through all that traumatic stuff with Mickey from 3x06 onward) so at the beginning of s6 he makes the decision to basically just put all of that behind him. Ian has a tendency to compartmentalize, which means he took all the bad things that had happened to him up until his diagnosis (and everything that reminded him of that, ie Mickey) and tried to forget about them, so that he could move on in some way. of course at this point Mickey was in prison and expected to remain there for the next 8 to 15 years, so that was another thing Ian made the decision to put out of his mind, bc it all hurt too much to deal with. so he made a new life for himself. which I'm very proud of him for! I love his journey to become an emt <3 dating-wise, choices were made. not necessarily by Ian though, by which I mean he kinda fell into those relationships, going through the motions because of how uncertain he was feeling at that time, and ending up dating people that should've maybe definitely had been fuck buddies at most. anyway, let's not dwell on that ajkds and let's get back to Mickey. the whole 'out of sight out of mind' thing obviously crashes and burns for Ian once Mickey shows up again, right there in front of him. that rush of deep-buried feelings must have been overwhelming. and yeah, I do agree that Ian's manic state through s8 was probably a result of the double hit of Monica's death and losing Mickey again--for all Ian knew, for good this time. and he absolutely never said I love you to anyone but Mickey, bc he's never loved anyone but him. they were it for each other from the start!! thank god the show finally got with the program at some point lol and gave us the happy ending they truly deserved ❤️

[nani-nonny]

So now!! The waited part two AND ch 16 of WDS IS HERE!!!✨✨✨✨✨ AM SCREAMING

I really really love how when i wake up at like idk 7 AM or so in the morning only to see multiple notification and one of those are your fic notification!! It makes me already giddy and stimmimg trying to calm my heart before i start reading and then stops remembering i have a morning routine to do first before that!!

So back to the review (trust me, my heart STILL beating fast even remembering the fic✨✨ that's how badly am excited!), We start back at the kids FIGHTING tooth and nail for our peepaw's attention! I just looves it, it's funny and oddly wholesome, and leo begin a grumpy old man - with too much PTSD in that shell - is just sitting there and watching the drama unfolds while trying - keyword trying but not hard enough - to stop them ONLY to be saved by old man splinter 😂

Man why do i feel splinter WANTS to say " get use to it because it's gonna happen daily " and walk as the ghost brothers and sister give them their privacy that they needed, it is right that after the scary battle, the injuries and taking care of everybody? Big blue didn't have his time to let... Well.. Everything sink in his brain! It's like delay panic.

I feel so happy that splinter asked f!leo to go with him shopping because he not only needed some sort of quite but quality time with his dad! So they teleport to hidden city market and it does remind me of few funny things (something relate to my memories when i was just a little girl).

Splinter giving leo ONE job to do and he fail miserably - i don't kinda blame him, IT'S BEEN 20 YEARS! -.

I... LOVE how he is able to avoid scammers and pickpocketers, this screams how well aware leo is and i LOVE IT!! The cool vibes of " i may be old but don't mess with me! " vibes 🤩

He finally meets the 03 cat klunk! (03 tmnt Mikey had an orange cat i don't remember if it was named klunk or not), and just knowing her lower part is broken just BREAK my sensitive heart, i can't bear to see an animal hurt THIS bad especially if they can't defend themselves.

And we reach the 2nd part the spoiled clip part of the store owner, before we continue this guy reminded me of that one background guy in cass apocalypse comic where he was screaming at casey when leo turned smol? Remember him? Yeah he reminds me of that guy.

So back at store owner he drops jokes, insults and comments left and right - missus pfft - and we reach that champion pants, believe me i almost SCREAMED FOR THAT PANTS!! THEY FIT HIM!! tho he didn't wear it yet - wait is I'm blue fic, big blue wear them?? -

I honestly never thought leo would drop the WHOLE summary of his existence and war to the store owner but man, HE BELIEVED HIM?!?! WUT?!

So NOW leo - with cute little Klunk - going to find ol' splinter and he's fighting so hard for a discount - ngl that reminds me of my mom, she fought a guy for 15% discount - and then dropping the tea!🤣 i honestly wished i was there to egg him on " spill the tea sis! Spill the tea! ".

Leo luckily went back home without much difficulty only to see a new challenger had been added to the fight... CJ! Now my bet is with CJ! He will kick ass.

Am glad Klunk was there to calm everyone down because i think they would've been to the second phase; using REAL weapons.

I think because leo was older he was weak against orange's puppy eyes - AND EVEN SAID WE TOOK DONNIE IN 😂😂😂😂-.

But then realize blue is missing and that gets me worried a bit, maybe it's the part where he and blue play video games? Hopefully.

Oh geez I wanted to reply to this sooner but I got a bit busy

Anyways,

Leonardo not trying hard enough to stop the teens from acting up and messing around the lair is peak fatherhood. As long as he doesn’t hear crying then they’re okay /j

Delayed panic is perfect for Leonardo’s situation lol, it was one after the other for him. He honestly didn’t get a true moment of rest.

Splinter is lowkey trying to solve the issue with Leonardo referring to him as “Splinter” instead of “Dad”/hj. Gotta spend quality time with Leonardo to fix, even if Leonardo can’t do the one thing he asked lol

Leonardo’s awareness being so high is so important to me you don’t even know /j he won’t let any detail slip past him

Yes Klunk! I honestly spent a good amount of time thinking about what to name the kitty but then I remembered 03 Mikey’s cat and thought to give the kitty the same name as homage or I guess Easter egg to a really good show

The yokai clothing hop owner that Leonardo met was kind of inspired by the real talkative (questionable) guy from the first chapter of DMD hehe. But selling the champion pants is totally not referring to the battle nexus (in a silly way, we won’t be getting Leonardo in big mama’s ring) but I like to think that there are yokai who sell off brand battle nexus champ merch lol

And Leonardo admitting to his creation (although twisting the truth to seem a little more believable for the yokai) made me laugh a little because he said it either such conviction that it was believable lol

Leonardo returning to the chaos was a struggle there were so many people to take account for in writing but blue going missing kind of makes it easier

Sadly we won’t be getting the moment where Leonardo and blue play games and that won’t happen until Casey jr gets into school. :)

Thank you for taking the time to write this review(?) of ch.16! It means so much :))))) <33333

[rivnedell]

hi there ! ✨

I'm what we could call a tumblr dinosaur, holding this blog for over 11 years now. Rivendell being my second home after Earth, I'm happy I kept this name all those years. I've been logging in and off this app from time to time over the years and I rejoined in the beginning of the year. And gosh it has been a life changing time since. Meeting and linking with amazing people here, and being (re)introduced to writing and the marvelous world of fiction.

I'm French, but I've started to speak English quite early in my life. I started in my late 10s to create characters and write some stories in French. And I've always wanted to write stuff in my second language. So I decided I would give it a try, with the incredible support of friends ♡

I've very new to writing so I'm open to any interactions that would help me improve (asks, comments, likes and reblogs of course, anything !)

Please assume all works are 18+ so please mdni ! do not repost, copy, translate nor reuse my works in anyway without my explicit permission

I will keep this updated. Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist !

Nienna ♡

find my works under the cut ⤵

╰┈➤ ❝ [ Star Wars ] ❞

× Series

『 Relief 』 (coming soon) (Snippet)

ೃ⁀➷ You're struggling dealing with your growing feelings for your former master.

『 Under the Stars 』 (coming soon)(snippet I - II - III)

ೃ⁀➷ You had to runaway on Tatooine a decade after the purge, your family still held on Corellia, and your encounter with the Dunes Hermit won't leave your heart intact.

╰┈➤ ❝ [ The Last of Us ] ❞

× Series

『 Only Yours 』 (Coming Soon) (Snippet)

ೃ⁀➷ Joel becomes your mom new date interest and soon to be boyfriend.. But something unexpected happens in your heart.

× One-Shot

『 All I want is You 』 (Coming Soon) (Snippet)

ೃ⁀➷ Tommy wants a new tattoo and drags his brother with him to your shop. Joel ends up choosing a tattoo, and the simple sight of his body is enough to distract you from your work with other clients.

╰┈➤ ❝ [ Death Stranding ] ❞

× One-Shot

『 Escape the Rain 』 (Coming Soon) (Snippet)

ೃ⁀➷ Sam comes back from a long mission to reconnect lost areas to the chiral network. Areas you knew full of DTs, and Mules. He's finally back to you in the shelter and you can't resist your feelings anymore.

╰┈➤ ❝ [ Games ] ❞

50 nsfw questions

Joel Miller

Din Djarin

pics used for the banners are not mine, found on Pinterest & tumblr.

[applejuicefruit]

I SAW THAT YOU ALREADY DID THE AFTERCARE I'M SO SORRY LMAO

so maybe a jealous neymar that ends with fluff? maybe like a party, and then when they come home they have a little argument that ends with cuddles

hiii don’t worry! thank you for requesting ❤️

i really hope you like this ✨

Love letters

It was your best friend bday party tonight and of course she invited you.

Your boyfriend Neymar was coming too of course he would never miss a party even though he wasn’t invited. Your best friend wasn’t a fan of him, she didn’t like his playboy attitude and she was aware of all the girls he “dated” before meeting you. But she also knew how much he made you happy so she let it slide.

Still he wasn’t invited but he decided to come anyway.

It was 9pm and you were both leaving your home going to the club. You were the opposite of Neymar when it came to parties. You hated loud music and people drunkly dancing around each other. Your birthdays always consisted of watching movies with friends and eating a lot of junk food. So you weren’t happy about going to a club but you did anyway because it was your best friend you were talking about.

You weren’t wearing anything “club appropriated”, in fact if it wasn’t because you were with Neymar they wouldn’t even let you in. You had a pair of black jeans and a cute white jumper because honestly, it was cold outside. Everything matched perfectly with your black and white Jimmy Choos. Your make up was simple and well made but not to much excessive. Just a red lipstick to bright up your face, with some mascara and eyeliner, and of course concealer.

You knew your best friend had expensive tastes so Neymar got her a new Louis Vuitton for her birthday. This gift to justify his presence.

You got her a cute friendship bracelet, the one from Cartier tho. Yes she made you spend a lot of money but she was your only real friend so you would do it anyway.

The party has already started when you got in. You hugged your best friend and gave her gift when Neymar went to grab a few drinks.

You needed to drink, it would have been a long night.

Only one hour into the party and you were already bored and tired of the loud music. Neymar, otherwise, was dancing with a lot of strangers in the middle of the dance floor and you couldn’t help but laugh at his half drunken state.

“Y/n?” a foreign voice called your name.

When you turn around to see who called you, you see someone who looked familiar but couldn’t connect the dots.

Then everything came back.

“Tommy?” you called.

Tommy was your middle school best friend and secret crush. He was the nerdy boy who always helped you with exams and homework and he would always spend the after school watching cartoons with you.

You haven’t seen him since you were 16.

“Heyyy it’s me” he said sitting next to me.

I couldn’t believe it was actually him!

“It’s been so long” he said “what are you up to now? I know you’re dating a certain famous football player” he said pointing at Neymar.

You laughed a bit.

“Well, ehm yes, we’ve been dating for ove two years now…things are going well. What about you?”

“I’m actually a lawyer now!” he said proudly.

I knew it he would have make it far.

We talked for what I think it were hours since everyone started leaving the party so I decided to look for Neymar and go home.

Before I went I stood up and hugged Tommy.
His hands lowering a little bit but you didn’t think about it much. Maybe he just missed you.

Before leaving he left you his number with the excuse “in case you need a lawyer”.

He was actually flirting with you but truth was that you were a very naïve person, you couldn’t make a difference from when a person was flirting with you and from when a person was just being nice. In most cases people were just trying to get into your pants but you couldn’t know if it wasn’t for Neymar scaring everyone away.

“Babe?” you called him when you found him sat on a couch “are you ready to go home?” you asked him.

He simply stood up without saying a word.

He left the club and you were following behind him.

You got into the car and asked him if he was okay but he wouldn’t answer.

When you got home you went straight into the bathroom and changed yourself into a pair of gray short pants and a long hoodie. They were both Neymar’s of course. When you got out you found him sitting on the couch with his phone in his hand.

“Babe?” you called “aren’t you coming to bed?” you asked him

“Me? Why don’t you ask your friend?”

“Ah?” you asked completely confused

“You know who I’m talking about”

“Tommy?”

“So that’s his name?”

“I don’t understand - why are you acting so strange?”

“I don’t know maybe because my girlfriend flirted the whole night with a stranger and she let him touch her ass?” he asked ironically

I was very confused.

“What you mean?”

“Oh don’t play stupid! You flirted with a man the whole night! I’ve seen him touching your ass and giving you his number!”

“That’s not how it went…” you tried to resonate

“Oh so what happened?” he asked getting mad

“He’s a friend, I know him…we were at school together and I haven’t seen him for 10 years”

“So because he’s a friend you let him touching your ass? I didn’t know you were so generous” he said back.

This hurt.

I was fully crying now but he wouldn’t let go.

“Stop playing so innocent when you’re out there acting like a whore” he said instantly regretting it. But it was too late.

He saw the expression change in your face, from hurt and mad to completely heartbroken and disappointed.

He tried to take a few steps towards you but stopped when he saw you were leaving.

“I’ll sleep in the guest bedroom” you said leaving and closing the door of your guest bedroom.

That night you both didn’t sleep.

You spent the whole night crying and you could swear he could hear you sobbing.

He spent the night awake regretting everything he said. He wish he could turn back time.

Then morning came and you didn’t dare leaving your room. When you stood up to open the window you saw a small piece of paper under the door.

You picked it up and it was a message from Neymar.

I’m sorry I messed up.

I over reacted for nothing.

I’m an idiot and I don’t deserve you.

You’re the greatest thing that came into my life and I managed to fuck everything up.

I’m sorry. I really am.

- Neymar

You were in tears after reading that letter. Yes he was an idiot but he was your idiot. So you decided to go out and you saw him standing in the corridor with his back pressed to the gym room.

“Hey…” he said softly coming towards you “I’m so stupid I fucked everything up but I got so jealous seeing him touching you and making you laugh that I thought you liked him or something…” he confessed

“You’re the only one for me Ney…”

“You’re the only one for me babe, and I’m so sorry for acting like a dick, would you please forgive me?” he said with tears in his eyes. You’ve never seen him so vulnerable it made your heart crack a little.

“Of course baby” you said hugging him and him wrapping his hands around your body.

He took your chin up and kissed you. It was a soft kiss, more like “i’m sorry kiss”. You still enjoyed it.

“Let me make it up to you” he said picking you up and bringing you into your shared bedroom.

He laid you gently on the bed and started kissing and undressing you.

If this is how he acted after a fight you should probably fight more often, you thought smiling.

[ask-you-what-sir]

wanna dance? ~ bill 'hoosier' smith (the pacific)

my masterlist  |  my hbo war masterlist

pairing: bill 'hoosier' smith x female reader

short summary: him and her have been best friends for a couple years before the war, and they keep in touch even when he's away - only to realise with time that they're in love, but for varying reasons neither confesses.

words: 4.4K

a/n: this is written for the hbo war secret santa 2021 event !

dear @itsametaphorgwil , this is me, your secret santa! happy holidays to you, lovely one! have an awesome day and an even better christmas and new year's eve! i wish you all the best xx hope you'll like this lil present i made for you ♡

also huge thanks and love to @hbowardaily for organising this!! ✨

(y/n/n) means: your nickname

"Dear Bill,

Yesterday I met the old Mrs Thomas in the store and she asked about you – do you remember her? She was the one lady I accidentally bumped into at the Town Hall last Christmas when you chased me down the corridor, the one whose drink I spilled on both our dresses.

Lord, what an embarrassing moment. Anyway, she doesn't seem to remember – or if she does, she didn't bring it up, thankfully.

I wish we were still living in last year, or preferably the year before that. Then you would still be here, with all your stupid and slightly irritating jokes. Now every day feels the same – I wake up, I help Ma with the housework, then go to the store for my shift, leave in the late afternoon, check if there's a letter from you, another round of chores and finally going to sleep. All the while worrying about you.

And you know what's real frustrating? You're overseas, fighting for our country, risking your life, whilst I'm here, at home, doing the same things I've done before the war – except of course not meeting you every other day. I feel useless.

Enough of my complaining, tell me how you're doing. I hope it's not as bad as I imagine it to be. Please take care of yourself.

Yours sincerely,

your best friend (y/n)"

- - - - 3 years earlier - - - -

"Are you ready?" Dorothy calls out from the bedroom.

"One moment!" (y/n) answers equally loud from the bathroom, pulling the hairbrush through her hair one last time, glancing in the mirror to make sure everything's as perfect as it could be and moves back to her room with an excited bounce in her steps.

After promising her mother that she's going to be back by curfew, the two girls leave the house, practically rushing to the dance – this is the first time their parents let them go to an event like this and they feel like bursting with excitement.

Though after about half an hour, (y/n) has to admit that it's not like she hoped it would be. Dorothy has been asked to dance in the first twenty minutes, and has disappeared from her sight completely. Now she's standing by the wall all alone, watching all the couples dance. It's definitely not as enjoyable as she predicted.

But then a boy slumps down on a chair a few steps from her, a loud huff leaving his lips and it piques her interest so she turns her attention to him instead of the dancers. She's seen him around town before – which isn't surprising at all, Loogootee has never been a town big enough for the people living there to not know everyone else at least by sight –, and she knows that he lives two streets down from her, and goes to the same high school, only a year above her.

She can't help but wonder what got him looking so moody on a night that's supposed to be all fun.

About a minute later his head snaps towards her and swiftly she turns her gaze back to the dancefloor, feeling the blood rush to her cheeks for being caught staring – even if she wasn't staring like that.

"You wanna dance?" A voice speaks up next to her after a couple seconds, and glancing to the side she finds the same boy now standing right next to her.

With a confused frown forming on her forehead, (y/n) can't help but glance around to make sure he's talking to her. "Okay," she nods eventually when she finds no one else nearby.

"I'm Bill," he introduces himself on their way to the dancefloor.

"I know," she chimes back a bit taken aback still, but feeling it slowly dissolve into a happy atmosphere surrounding them. "I'm (y/n)."

"I know," Bill grins at her, and his response is enough to break the ice between the two as they burst into giggles.

As they start dancing, she can't help but remember the way he threw himself on that chair just a couple minutes prior, and she's back thinking about the possible reasons behind it within a moment.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice brings her out of her train of thoughts.

"Nothing," she's fast to reply, but seeing him raise an eyebrow in question she knows he won't take it as an answer. "Well, I was thinking about what got you so grumpy previously."

Bill grunts, his eyes darkening once more. "The girl I came with ditched me for someone else," he shrugs.

(y/n) takes a sharp breath, not expecting such an answer, and she feels herself grow sadder for him. "I'm–"

"I know, you're sorry. Don't be," he cuts in. "I just wanna forget about it, okay?"

All she can do is nod in response and so they continue dancing without a word for the next few minutes. When the song that's been playing ends, he asks if she wants to go out to get some fresh air and since before he appeared she was standing alone, she immediately agrees.

As if the new dosage of oxygen had a magical effect on him, he starts talking right away – and from then on, he's almost unstoppable, words flowing from his lips. He's determined to make her laugh, and he definitely succeeds most of the time – her facial muscles start hurting as the night goes on from all the wide smiling and laughing she's done.

When the time comes for her to go back home, he offers to walk her – reasoning that he wouldn't want to stay longer anyway and that he lives in the same direction – and they keep up the joyful conversation all the way to her front door. They say goodbye, and she disappears inside the house, thinking about how blue it makes her that everything will go back to normal now, and he won't be listening to his funny stories any time in the future.

Living in such a small town, they eventually keep on bumping into each other after that night, even out of school – especially when she starts helping out in her family's little store. He turns up often, with his friends or by his own when his mother sends him for something, and the two of them always chat a little, more and more as time progresses.

Then one time he (accidentally) stays until the end of her shift, and then they eventually spend the rest of the day together, wandering around town and talking about anything and everything – and just in general, having fun. From then on, it becomes a regular thing, every week (then later on even more than once a week) he shows up at the store just in time to catch her leaving and they go somewhere together.

They literally spend every free minute together – they are best friends despite the gender differences.

- - - - - - - -

"Dear (y/n),

I'm in Melbourne now, can you believe it? They sent us here to relax some and refit. The people here are awfully nice, and finally I had a comfortable enough place to sleep in and time to do so as well – it felt indescribably great.

Today the guys and I went sightseeing, well, as long as you can call sitting in different bars throughout the day sightseeing. (I know you're shaking your head right now, but don't even try to deny that you let out a small laugh too. I know you too well, I can even hear your laughter in my ears as I'm writing this. God, I miss hearing it in person.)

How is life going back home? Has your sister recovered from her illness yet?

Hopefully I can write more consistently to you from now on, at least as long as we stay here.

- - - - - - - -

Yours,

Bill"

It gets harder and harder every day for (y/n) – since she's realised that what she feels for Bill is something more than just friendship she's been only missing him more. There are times when she feels like stopping answering his letters, because maybe it would all be easier if she let go and tried to get over him, to forget about her stupid feelings towards him.

But every time, after a couple days pass, before she can realise what she's doing, she's sitting at her desk, a pen in her hand and a paper in front of her on the wooden surface. She can't stop writing back to him – for multiple reasons. First, she fears that if she stopped, it would only do harm to his morale, maybe he wouldn't be able to focus as good wondering why she's not replying. Second, she misses him. Too much to just not write. She wants to hear about him, hear from him. Third, worry is eating away at her. Her best friend is overseas, close to dying every other minute, and she can't do a thing about it. If she doesn't hear from him and makes sure he's alive, she won't be able to take it.

Which means that she has to find a different method to get over him.

On the other side of the world, Bill holds onto the letters he's gotten with the utmost care, he treasures them as if they're worth more than gold – because to him, they do. He misses her like hell, and for some reason he can't help but feel that she's the only thing keeping him grounded. The only thing that keeps him believing that the war hasn't destroyed everything worthwhile in this world for good, that there are still things to be alive for, to be happy for – like her and their friendship.

And even though they keep on experiencing such different things, and their lives aren't as similar as they have been back when they were nothing but kids from Loogootee, Indiana – and they each have their very different difficulties to face and fight every day, they both make sure to reply to the other's letters.

After literal years of hearing about almost nothing else from his friend but this mysterious girl named (y/n), one day Leckie proposes the possibility to Bill that even though he seems pretty oblivious about it, he might be in love with her.

"Basically since the first day we've met, every other sentence you say includes her in some way," Leckie shrugs after mentioning his opinion.

"Nah, that's stupid, she's my best friend and nothing else," Hoosier shakes his head, a chuckle leaving his lips as his eyes move around their surroundings.

"You sure?"

"Of course I am, I love her like a sister. I'm not in love with her."

"Okay, you know better," Leckie raises a hand in defense and turns back to writing a letter to Vera, but his eyes disclose that he's not at all convinced by his friend's reasoning.

For the next couple days, all Bill can think about is Leckie's words, even when they are getting shipped to another battle to fight, this time to Cape Gloucester. He can't put it into words why he can't seem to shake the thought, but it keeps on repeating inside his head whenever he has at least one second when he has nothing in particular to do.

And as any postal service they could get is delayed due to their fighting, he doesn't hear from (y/n) for a while and the feeling of missing her becomes almost too much to bear. Suddenly, it's crystal clear that he's been only living in oblivion and that's she's actually the love of his life. God, how ignorant he's been all this time.

When he tells Leckie that he was right, the man just shakes his head with a look that says 'finally' – he doesn't know how much longer he could've taken Hoosier being so stupid.

- - - - - - - -

"Dearest Bill,

I'm so glad to hear you're back in somewhat safety again, not in the direct line of fire!

Johnny Baker, you know, from Grant Street, got wounded - he's been transferred to some hospital I don't know where. Did you by any chance meet him over there? Maybe you were fighting together. But I guess there's only a slight chance for that, there must be so many different groups of soldiers fighting that don't meet at all - sorry, I'm not familiar with these Marine terms.

Anyway, when Mr Brown came to the store this morning and started saying how one of the local boys who enlisted got hit, I felt like fainting. I don't know how I would survive losing you. I lo I've never been more impatient in my life than that time to hear his answer when I asked him who it was. I also felt a little bad later, because I probably looked a bit too relieved for someone that just got to know that a boy from around here is in hospital, with a wound that might be very serious for all I know.

I hope the days aren't too dull for you, and you can get some well needed rest again. Tell my greetings to your friends for me, please. It's always nice to hear your stories about them.

- - - - - - - -

Yours,

(y/n)"

(y/n) almost confesses in one of her letters, totally by accident – luckily she realises it just in time and she can cross it out without it being too obvious what she wanted to say initially.

Ever since understanding her true feelings, she's thought about this various times, whether she should tell him about it or not. In the end, common sense always won.

She wouldn't want to divert his mind from more important things – like fighting a war. And also, somehow more importantly, because of fear of rejection. He's him and she's only her. Why would he want anything to do with her when it comes to dating? It's not like she doesn't know how he feels. He's told her – and others who asked about the two of them throughout the years – so many times how he loves her, but only as a sister. Just like if they were family members.

And she would never want to ruin their friendship – she values it more than to let it disappear only because of her stupid feelings.

What she doesn't know, that with the help of his friends, Hoosier is able to somewhat decode her letters – they spend a great portion of their free time in Pavuvu reading and analysing the words she's written. Of course, the most useful man when it comes to deciphering meanings behind words (fully written or crossed out half-words) and sentences is Leckie. Runner even jokes about how he should do this as a job when the war ends.

Despite her trying not to give anything away, they come to the conclusion that she's probably in love with him too – after what Hoosier literally jumps up and punches the air with his fist, feeling an outburst of joy none of them have felt in quite a long time now.

Still, he can't make himself writing down the words in any of his letters that would let her know how he feels. He knows he might die one of these days and he most definitely doesn't want to put her through any more heartbreak than necessary.

He doesn't want to be the one to wake false hope in her about how one day he might go back home and they could start a life together. What is more, he doesn't want her to wait around for him, especially since there's such a huge chance that he might as well never go back again. She should find someone to settle down and start a family with, why wait around for someone who's half dead already?

Bill even asks her about any possible guys around town she could date – reading his suggestions (y/n) can't help but roll her eyes, thinking about all the dinners she's spent with a couple men from around town who weren't overseas, at least not anymore because of different slighter wounds. They all went down the same way, everything was going totally fine but she still couldn't shake one thought – that none of these men are him.

- - - - - - - -

"Dear (y/n),

I hope you're not too worried by now, because I'm fine. Sure, these past weeks haven't been my best ones yet, but I'm doing alright now, and that's what matters. I'm in hospital now, trying to heal as fast as I can. As soon as they let me out, I'll be on my way home and nothing can stop me, truly. Definitely feels weird to be back in the country though!

Did I miss anything interesting since my last letter? Please, let me know of anything and everything. The longer your reply is, the better. I have to have something to do to prevent me from going fully crazy in this place. Don't take it as if I'm not grateful for being here – they take real good care of me, and I know I'm lucky to be here, and not buried in the ground. (Sorry, that got a little too heavy.)

Can't wait for us to meet again! It's what keeps me going on the nights I can't sleep.

- - - - - - - -

Yours sincerely,

Bill"

(y/n) calculates the change and places it gently into the hand of the customer standing on the other side of the counter, when the lady speaks up. "I didn't know Bill Smith was coming home."

She glances up, slightly frowning at the sudden comment, not really knowing what to answer – in the end she just hums in agreement.

"He just drove past me on the street when I was on my way here, at first I thought my eyes are mistaken," the woman continues eventually even without getting an answer.

"He drove past..." (y/n) repeats the words, freezing in place as they suddenly get a meaning inside her head as well.

She didn't know he was arriving home today – hell, she didn't even know he was released from the hospital in the first place.

Then, as if trying to make up for the time wasted when she stood frozen, she unties the straps of her apron with fumbling fingers, almost tearing it in the hurry to get it undone, then rushing around the counter she throws the entrance door open and with the following glance of a surprised customer she's already on her hurried way to the Smith's house.

Getting to their front door, (y/n) takes only one second to try and catch her breath before her knuckles rap a fast and loud rhythm on the wooden surface. Her fingers impatiently play with the material of her skirt as she waits for someone to open it – and as soon as it cracks open, she starts speaking, not even waiting for the other to acknowledge her.

"Mrs Smith! Lovely to see you! I've heard Bill has arrived home, is he here? Can I come in?"

Practically not even waiting for an answer she rushes past the older woman who stares after her with a warm and wide smile, watching as she practically flies into the dining room.

Loudly crying out his name as soon as her eyes land on the boy (y/n) immediately draws attention to herself. Bill's eyes widen and this time it's him to freeze – he feels like he's not able to move a single muscle in his body from the surprise of seeing her so unexpectedly.

With a few quick steps she's right in front of him, leaping straight into his arms, not caring at all about his family all around them watching or not behaving well-mannered. When her body comes in contact with his, Bill comes back to life, his arms move to tightly grip her waist to keep her right there, pulling her impossibly close to him.

Oh, how many times he's dreamed about this in the past years. And now finally he can do it.

"It's so amazing to see you," she breathes out, face still buried in his neck. "I missed you so bad."

"I missed you a lot too, (y/n/n)," he whispers back, his palms gently moving up and down her back in a caressing manner. His eyes are closed as he tries to live the moment to the fullest and store every little detail of it as perfectly as he can.

When the initial great happiness decreases a little – but only a little –, (y/n) loosens her arms around his neck as a signal and he gently puts her back down to stand on her own two feet. She glances up at his face, but only for a moment because she knows that if she wasn't careful enough, she would get lost in his almost grey but still blue orbs and wouldn't be able to tear her gaze away from them.

Later on in the afternoon, the two of them are sitting in the backyard just talking and catching up – and it feels as if no years has passed since their separation, as if it was only yesterday when they last saw each other.

"I just don't think it was fair of him to say that, you know? And even though mother wants me to go and apologise to him, I don't want to," the girl rambles on, her right hand mindlessly moving across the lawn as she's enjoying the soft feeling of the blades of grass stroking her skin. "What do you think I should do?"

When she doesn't get an answer for a couple long seconds, (y/n) looks up to find Bill already watching her – his eyes somewhat dazed, a heartwarming and butterfly-awaking smile playing on his lips. And it's more than clear that he's not paying any attention to her.

"Bill," she tilts her head, but it seems that it's not enough to grasp his interest so she takes to more drastic measures and calls out his name louder, her fingers snapping in front of his eyes. "William!"

"What?" He asks back, his whole body wincing in surprise as he wakes from his daydreaming.

"Are you even listening to a word I'm saying?" (y/n) shakes her head with a playfully disbelieving look in her eyes.

"Ah, I'm sorry," Bill diverts his gaze in slight embarrassment, and she could swear she saw a blush forming on his cheeks. "Could you repeat it?"

"It's not important," she shrugs, smiling at his profile, taking in the lines that write his face, enjoying that she can watch him without him catching her in the middle of it.

"No, wait, I wanna hear it. Anything you say is important to me. I'm sorry, I got lost in my thoughts. Please, tell me."

"Nope. Should've listened the first time."

Hoosier rolls his eyes, looking back at her. Their eyes connect and she can see something naughty sparkle up in his orbs just then but there's nothing she can do when the next moment she's being tackled down to the ground by him, his hands roaming around her sides, tickling her wherever he reaches.

"No, stop! Stop, Bill, please!" (y/n) exclaims, trying hard to wiggle away from him, but while once ago she might have been able to push him away, him being a marine for years has made him too strong for her to stand any chance now.

A minute or so later he stops his movements, leaning over her and catching his breath. His eyes sparkle bright as he stares into her (y/e/c) ones, and suddenly he knows he has to confess. It's not like his reasons why not to are valid anymore – he's not fighting a war, facing death about every day. All his mental contradictions are out the window now, so why would he keep quiet about it?

"I love you," he speaks up gently a second later, having convinced himself.

For a moment her rapidly beating heart feels like stopping from hearing these three words come from his mouth, but then she reminds herself that he probably still means it only as proof of his brotherly love.

"I love you too," her lips curve into a smile, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes and he's fast to notice.

"No."

(y/n) frowns, confused as to why he just said that.

"I love you. Like love love," Bill tries again, watching her face intently to catch the moment she understands what he means.

The thoughts spin in her mind, trying hard to make the words make sense. "You do?" The question leaves her lips in the end – and Bill's not satisfied at all with the doubt still filling her voice. It's fair to say he didn't quite expect this moment to go like this.

"Yeah," he nods, a little too vigorous and enthusiastic to his own liking, but at this point he just wants to make her believe him.

(y/n) bursts out giggling and his eyes widen in surprise. Is the idea of him loving her so ridiculous that she has to laugh about it?

"I-I'm so-sorry," she stutters in-between giggles as she tries to catch her breath, still looking up at him from her lying position. "I just didn't expect to hear this, at all."

"Oh," Bill replies, the confusion that has previously been written on her face now apparent on his own.

"I love you too, don't look so scared," (y/n) grins widely, then as she sees him open his lips, she foregoes and answers the question she knows he wants to ask. "Yes, love love."

The grin forming on his lips matches hers in width and within a second he's leaning down, only stopping a finger-breadth away from her face.

"I've been waiting for so long to do this," he mumbles.

"I bet I've been waiting even longer for you to do this," she whispers back.

Then his lips finally touch hers, gentle and feather-like until he feels her kiss him back with more passion – after that, he deepens the kiss himself. He feels that there's no need to restrain himself when for the past year all he's wanted to do was this, all he needed was her permission.

And the taste and softness of her lips along with the way it feels as they move along his are even better than in his dreams.

my masterlist  |  my hbo war masterlist

.::the end::.

and here's a little extra gift because i felt like making a moodboard:

taglist: @50svibes @neverendingstories00 @mads-weasley @now-im-a-belieber

[ do you wanna be added to my taglist? ]

[laylaswriting]

Let you go

Title: Let you Go

Pairing: Bo Burnham x fem!reader

Word count: 2.6k

Warnings: None

Tags: bit of angst, bit of fluff, bit of h/c? I'm bad with genres sorry.

Prompt: I wrote this because I've been obsessed with the song let u go by Joey Knight which I highly recommend. Go! Listen! It will make the fic better I think haha.

A/N: I hope this won't suck, also I'm sorry I'm a sucker for sadness and friends to lovers. I'm so nervous writing fics about Bo haha I hope you'll like it! If you enjoyed drop me a comment or anon, it means a ton to me! 🥺💖 Also this is dedicated to the sweet anon who wanted more Bo fic, I hope you'll enjoy! ✨

‘Coffee for Robert?’ She called out, eyes searching the room to see if anyone came to pick up the hot drink.

‘(Y/N)?’ He asked in a low voice, making his way to her. She almost dropped the coffee when her eyes met his ocean blue ones, heart dropping to her stomach.

‘Bo?’ She whispered, look of disbelief spreading across her face. He stood in front of her, it looked like he got even taller since the last time she saw him. What was it? Maybe five years ago? His face hardened a bit too, his eyes lost a bit of their youthful shine.

‘I didn’t know you work here.’ He said, a shy smile spreading on his face, eyes trying to avoid hers.

‘I thought you were out of town or something.’ She replied, trying to cover up the raging emotions inside her. He tilted his head to the side and quickly raised his eyebrows.

‘Yeah, I’m just passing by I guess.’ He answered, taking the coffee and leaving the money in exchange on the counter.

‘It was great to see you!’ She told him, taking the money away, throwing the change in the tip jar.

‘You too, (Y/N).’ He said, a faint smile on his face as he turned away from her and left the coffee shop.

She quickly found her way to the back of the shop, where only the employees were allowed and threw her back to the wall, exhaling sharply. She could feel her insides tense up from the thoughts in her head. She hasn’t seen him in ages, she thought these feelings were long gone. She thought she was over him, the love of her life she never got to be with. The one that got away.

It was a weirdly unsettling, gloomy day for Bo. He held tight onto his coffee cup, walking fast down the street, on his way home. His other hand in his pocket, eyes locked on his name on the cup scribbled by her. His heart clenched at the thought of seeing her again after all these years. He didn’t exactly tell the truth in the coffee shop – he was not just passing by, he’s been staying in the city for quite a while now in his home. Tours were on hold, no more traveling around. Not like it used to be back then.

‘You’re joking!’ She said, excitement in her voice from the news.

‘I’ll be on the stage soon!’ He answered, his smile bright like a thousand suns, showing the all too familiar dimples on his face. She loved when he smiled – it was the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.

‘I’m so happy for you, Bo!’ She threw her arms around her best friend’s neck, giving him a warm hug. He lifted her a bit, nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck, smelling her shampoo briefly. He felt his heartbeat in his throat, the happiness taking over his entire body. He’s been working so hard for this, and it was finally happening.

‘The first show of the tour will be in the city, will you come to see me?’ He asked, while he lowered her to the ground, letting her go.

‘I would never skip your big break through!’ She said with a laugh in her voice. She was beautiful, her hair framing her face perfectly, her eyes sparkling and her lips forming a perfect smile. Bo caught himself staring at her in the afternoon light. He quickly looked away, a pale pink blush crawling up his cheeks. It would be the perfect time to kiss her – he thought briefly, before making the thought go away. He didn’t want to make things awkward. She probably didn’t love him anyway.

‘Don’t get ahead of yourself, it’s just one tour.’ He said, downplaying his achievement.

‘Don’t be defeatist, Burnham. Just don’t forget me when you’re famous!’ She answered, poking his chest.

His keys rattled in his hand as he tried to open the door, his heart clenching at the thought of that afternoon. He put his coffee cup on the counter next to his keys and leaned against it. He furrowed his brows and run a hand through his dark blonde hair, tugging at the roots a little.

The crowd cheered as the lights went up in the theatre. Bo raised one of his arms to do a little wave, then bowed to the audience and did this a few times. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest, adrenaline and happiness flowing through his veins. He tilted his head to the side to sneak a peak of the backstage where she stood, clapping and jumping a little in excitement. She was adorable. He did a last short bow, then walked towards her, his huge steps closing the gap between them incredibly fast. His smile was wider than ever, eyes sparkling with happiness. He extended his arms for her, wrapped around her waist and lifted her in the air while letting out a small laugh. Her arms were around his neck, holding on to him like he could vanish any second. Her heart never felt so full.

‘You were amazing!’ She said as he put her down, eyes never letting her go.

‘I still can’t believe this is real!’ He answered, resting one of his hands on his hip, looking at her. It seemed impossible, but his heart picked up an even faster pace. Thoughts racing, taking all options into consideration. Should he kiss her now? Her eyes were searching his face, her smile brighter than ever.

‘Let me congratulate as well!’ He heard a voice interrupt his thinking. It was his manager, and the moment was gone. She stepped back a few steps, letting the two of them talk.

That was the last night he saw her. Bo was sitting in the kitchen, looking at his phone, slowly pressing both his palms against his eyes. He was wondering if she still had the same number as she used to. It would be an asshole move to call after all these years, right? He scratched his chin when he heard tiny footsteps approaching him. He couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his sweet little dog, Bruce.

‘Are you hungry bud?’ He asked while picking him up to his lap. He petted the small dog while his mind wandered. Did he even deserve a second chance? He pushed away the one person he loved the most and never apologized. He was too scared to face her again, but now that it happened, the possibility seemed more and more inviting. He could try to apologize, try to tell her the truth. Or should he leave her alone? Spare her from even more pain?

‘I know you’re extremely busy Bo, but I need my best friend!’ He heard her say on the other side of the line. A few months has passed since he was on the road. During that time, him and (Y/N) started to talk less and less. She tried her best to keep the two of them connected, but he shut himself off. The stress of being on the road started to be too much mixed with the pain he felt every time they talked. He knew she would never be his, and that dreading feeling made a home in his heart, which started to grow into resentment. It wasn’t logical, oh no. But he was young, stressed and confused. Love made people stupid and miserable, and it didn’t spare him either.

‘You’re being selfish now.’ He said in a low voice, pinching the bridge of his nose while holding his phone. He clenched his jaw as he felt his ears burning from a feeling that he couldn’t quite figure out. Anger maybe? He heard a small but audible gasp from the phone.

‘Are you kidding me?’ She asked, her voice changed in tone immediately. ‘I’ve never done anything but supported you! I’m not even asking for you to do the same Bo, I’m just asking you to make an effort to check in with me from time to time! You never call, never write unless I do first, and recently you’ve been ignoring me even then. Don’t even try to deny it.’ She said, her voice trembling, he could hear her holding the tears back, which made his eyes sting a bit as well.

‘I’m not –‘ He started, but she interrupted him.

‘I told you not to deny it.’ She snapped.

‘I’m not denying it.’ He answered, and it was as all emotions were erased from his voice. It surprised him as well as it surprised her. She didn’t say anything, just a small ‘oh’ was to be heard. He let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

‘Goodbye then.’ She said, hanging up the call. He threw the phone on the couch and buried his face into his hands.

He looked at the clock and saw that it was getting late. He looked at his phone again, then in a sudden decision he picked it up, tugged it in his pocket and left the house.

She was counting the money in the cash register when she heard the bell ring above the door.

‘We’re closing in five!’ She said without looking up, continuing to do her work. She heard footsteps approaching the counter and she saw the silhouette of a man standing in front of her from the corner of her eye. She let out a sigh and put the money back into the register, closing it up. She was never rude with guests, she was just a bit frustrated that day.

‘What can I get –‘ She started, but cut herself off when her eyes met his. She pressed her lips into a single line and rested her hands on the countertop, unconsciously tapping her foot on the ground.

‘Can I talk to you?’ He asked, almost like a whisper. His hands were in his pockets, his sweater’s sleeves rolled up on his arms.

‘I’m working, as you can see.’ She replied, pointing around herself.

‘Maybe I can wait until you finish?’ He answered with a question, hoping she would say yes. She was angry at him, he could see it in the way she looked at him and how she held herself. Tense, defensive. Not like how she used to be around him when they were younger. She let out a defeated sigh.

‘Fine. I’ll be out in ten minutes, meet me outside.’ He nodded and turned his back on her, walking out the shop. He walked a few steps away from the door, trying not to look awkward while waiting. He ran a hand through his hair, which she couldn’t help but notice from under her lashes. The all too familiar movement made her heart flutter. She finished closing up the shop and stepped out onto the cold autumn air, looking at him. He was looking at his feet when he noticed her, his eyes darting to her face immediately.

‘(Y/N).’ He said, stepping towards her. ‘I wanted to say I’m sorry.’ He left a short pause, being unsure what to say to her. Her face was unreadable, arms crossed, looking at him. Little did he know that her heart was beating in her chest in an incredible pace, waiting for him to continue. He made another step towards her, cautiously, like he was being afraid he could scare her away.

‘Do you think –‘ He started, closing his mouth mid-sentence. He still fought with his feelings, being unsure of what to say to her. The truth? ‘Do you think if I stayed everything would’ve been fine?’ He finally asked, her arms tightening around her chest.

‘I would never ask that from you.’ She replied quickly. ‘I always supported you, Bo. You being gone was not the issue.’ At that moment, he had nothing to lose. He already lost everything.

‘I should’ve told you I love you when I had the chance.’ He said, looking deeply into her eyes as she looked up on his face, her mouth open, tears gathering in her beautiful eyes. It broke his heart how much he made her suffer. ‘Not a day has passed when I didn’t think about you.’

Her tears started to flow on her face, the warm feeling contrasting with the cold air.

‘Bo, I’m so sorry.’ She whispered, reaching her arms for him. He noted the gesture, closing the gap between them immediately with one leap, wrapping one of his arms around her waist as he held her head from the back with the other. He leaned down, buried his face into her hair and neck, holding her like he never wanted to let go. Her arms tightly wrapped around his neck, tears flowing steadily, leaving a small wet spot on his sweater. He caressed her hair slowly, trying to calm her down.

When she pulled away for a second, she looked him in the eyes, their face almost touching. She searched his face, and there were a wide range of emotion in his eyes – relief, guilt, happiness, love. She looked at his lips for a second, then pressed her lips on them. The action took him by surprise, but he didn’t hesitate to return the kiss. His soft lips wandered on hers, his hug tightened even more, pulling her to him as close as possible. His hand cradled her head as he poured all his heart into the kiss. She’s never been kissed this good, his lips and tongue dancing with hers in perfect rhythm. She got so lost in the feeling she let out a small moan, bringing her hands up to his hair, which made him grin into the kiss.

‘I love you.’ He said, looking deep into her eye. ‘I was never brave enough to say. I planned to do this for so long. You were right there all along, and I couldn’t-‘ He rambled, and she kissed him again.

‘I wish you would have. You broke my heart, but I never stopped loving you.’ She said, and her saying this made his heart ache. How could he be so stupid. He kissed her again, and as he let go, he could see her hugging herself to warm up.

‘God, we should go. You are freezing.’ He said, concern filling his voice. He didn’t want to leave her though. Never again.

‘Do you want to –‘ She started, hesitating. ‘Do you want to walk me home?’ A bit of a cheeky smile showed on his face, looking away from her.

‘I would love to.’ He answered in a sweet voice, and they started to walk to her place.

Just as she stepped into the apartment and put her keys down, she turned to him, throwing her arms around his neck, hand digging into his hair. He couldn’t help himself but grin at her actions, bring his hands to her thighs and lift her up. His kiss was different than it was in front of the coffee shop. It was happy, curious and filled with want. She wrapped her legs around his hips as he held her with ease, taking a few steps towards the bedroom.

They were tangled in each other, they were two separate people, but at that moment that it felt like they were one. Hands wandering on each other’s body, lips crashing onto the other’s, biting lightly, sharp breaths and moans filling the heavy air. Heavy with unspoken words, guilt, pleasure.

‘I’ll never leave you again.’ He whispered into her ear. ‘If you want me to stay.’

‘I’ll never let you go.’ She answered, kissing him again.

[koishua]

Hiii, here to tell you that I'm (surprisingly) still alive 🤭🤭 He's a handful when his mother enters the house, but as the majority of the time we're alone he has been actually behaving better than what I expected.

Finally I'm not staying for a month, I'll be going back this weekend, but I'm *thinking* 🤔 of coming here to study (there's better chances than at my country), the only thing taking me back is having to learn another language 😩😩 they all say I'll learn it quickly but I just don't like languages 🤧

It's actually really cold here but I don't go out more than to take my cousin to school so no problemos, thank you <3

As I've been really unoccupied these days I started a drama called Law School and I'm currently obsessed, but I'm planning on watching All of us are dead after 👀

Besides, apparently even if my other friends are studying they appear to be free everyday for an anime hangout 🤔 (but who am I to reject?🤷🏽‍♀️)

I end up sending such long asks bc I accumulate so much info 😔... But please do tell me, how are you baby? Elaborate as much as you want. Seen you've been feeling under the weather, hope you're feeling better, I gotta work those reconnections to my good vibes, seems they aren't reaching you 👀✨✨

Have a great day tomorrow (today?) bubs 💕 - 💐

well hello there miss 😭 i kinda wanna ask why you're up so late but then again that would be hypocritical of me so i'll stay quiet bahaha it's so nice to hear from you again and im so glad to see that you're still all intact 😩 i'd be going back home asap too lmao also ooh studying there? i have heard that it was quite nice there but yeah the language problems </3 what do you want to study anyways?

that area is freezing istg im just glad that where i stay, it doesn't go lower than -10° c or else i would literally die of hypothermia or something regardless of how many layers i have on 😶 they call me michelin man on the streets smh

OMG LAW SCHOOL AS IN THE ONE WITH THE GIRL FROM ITAEWON CLASS?? or did i mix things up? anyways!! all of us are dead is SO goddamn good oml korea really has apocalypse movies down like man train to busan, happiness, this. all of them are *chef's kiss* ugh

any animes y'all are watching other than the new aot season? im gonna start this new badminton anime and it literally looks so good and the animation is PERFECT 😭 i think i'll enjoy it a lot like haikyuu since i actually used to play for a team too so that's nice 😩

also no worries i love your asks!! i just like talking to you in general haha as for me... idk man things have been all over the place but we're getting there ig 😔🤚

my mental health has been jumping everywhere every two seconds lmao it didn't seem too bright for me last night and im just glad im still here and breathing tbh 💀 i DID transfer schools again though so ig leaving my old school has helped me regain some sort of stability? (we are just going to ignore the fact that most of my issues are probably BECAUSE i had to move schools every six to ten months the past ten years 💀)

good news tho omg i am getting better at italian 👏it's similar to spanish, yes, but the speed and the way things are pronounced while natives speak made it difficult for me at first but bless easy italian bc it literally is my saving grace 😭 ive been binging their videos the past week while under quarantine no thanks to my siblings bringin covid back home with them lmao

i had the biggest urge and inspiration to paint something yesterday, but i ran out of the necessary paints and it pained me greatly that i was stuck inside till next week 💔💔 BUT‼️‼️i ordered A Thousand Splendid Suns, champion (marie lu) and They Three Body Problem and im so so excited to read them oml i read cixin liu's The Wandering Earth over and over so many times and am now in the process of reading all of his other books starting with the three body problem haha

i really recommend him if you like reading sci-fi‼️‼️and that's it from me <3 take care and stay safe >:(

[tabzjoynt]

#storytiiime😁

6ish yrs ago I was drinking all day with my cousin in her kitchen, I already chipped my front tooth a year prior - and was also on a couple of other substances that day.

Anyways, we were cracking up so hard in her kitchen that when she went to cheers me, I didn't know and wasn't ready causing her to cheers my beer into my tooth and it snapped on me. 3/4s of it split and I went into shock, I didn't cry straight away because we went back to laughing. I reckon the acid trips also hadn't allowed me to really understand what just happened.

That is until the next day when I felt it in my mouth, I shot out of my bed into the bathroom and got the fright of my life and then the reality hit. I was also hungover and coming down so when I got back into my bed I covered myself over in my blanket and cried like the sooky I am 🙄. I was really into looking a certain way at that time and was out alot at events, taking photos in the streets and being at concerts with DJs, as well as being at gigs with Jnr, Bryce and Faye. I spent that entire Sunday afternoon in bed feeling sorry for myself.

When I finally came out of hiding I had to go to work 🥴 and that's the day I started talking and walking around with my hand over my mouth. I remember eagerly getting out of work to find a dentist, luckily there was one across the rd from our building and when the old Greek man running the surgery saw me and heard my story he was sooooo good to me, he didn't charge me for his time or for the extraction at full price. But fuck my ego from back then was in the foetal position rocking backwards and forwards.

When I got home I told Jnr what happened and he was being so calm with me - he was like, Smile! I bet it looks cute on you 🙄 and I looked at him and the tears started falling. I just shook my head and he knew not to say anything else.

I never left the house much over the next few weeks and Jnr was getting frustrated cos I didn't even want to go to the local anymore. He tried, he really did try to encourage me out of hiding at home but honestly my ego was hurting.

I remember Moto pushing me to go to a gig with him too as the photographer and I was squirming to get out of it but that guy doesn't ask for much, so I knew I had to get over myself. I went and wore a bandana like a bib lolz pulling it up to cover my mouth that night whenever I had to speak😩

A month or so down the track I got a plate made, most expensive piece of plastic I have ever owned. All to hold one tooth in place 🫣 I couldn't eat with it in but I could finally be out in public, my hand would still find it's way in front of my mouth tho.

3 yrs ago I was back in NZ with my cousins after a big night out on the Southside, Ethan took us to Wendys so my phaddy self was too happy, I took my plate out of my mouth to eat and placed it in a napkin. when it came time to leave I picked everything up and put it in the bag and threw it in the trash... including my plate😩

So, today as I learn to smile again without the automated motion of putting my hand up to my mouth and after a half year of multiple dental procedures that would usually take longer. I am here🙃, with 2 implants/screws, 11 fillings, 2 crowns, 2 composite veneers, a gum graft and 1 root canal. the part that took the longest was getting the paperwork sorted for all of it.

Even tho the first initial procedure was the worst, it allowed me to gauge the next one and the following one after that. speaking it all into existence over Christmas last year and now it's complete ✅ it's not normal to smile with my mouth open yet but I'm getting there.

I look back at most of my selfies and my mouth is shut lolz, now to change that!~!!🤌🏾

A new goal moving forward is to find/create more reasons to smile✨