#anyway I’m not a fan of people focusing on those stupid ass photos!!

[hungergameshyperfixation]

“Those photos go hard”

No they don’t??? I’ve already ranted to the people in my life about this but all I’m gonna say is that they literally remind me of this:

That’s all I’m going to say right now, though I do have a lot of thoughts about not only real world politics but also comparing them to The Hunger Games (which is what I literally, hypocritically just did…which is why I mentioned it)

[13uswntimagines]

I’m in Love With You Dumbass (Christen x reader)

Request: R are in love with Chris and she’s close with Chris and Tobin so she really think that she wont stand a chance. R is USWNTs videographer/content creator.

Authors Note: Special thanks to @literaryhedgehog​ cause without her this would probably still be trapped in my drafts. Also this turned into something a little silly and a little fluffy, and i really hope you enjoy it!

You blinked at your laptop, squinting as you processed the ten thousand pictures that you had taken during national team practice trying to decide which ones you wanted to put out for the fans. 

It was always a balancing act, giving them little glimpses at training and not giving your major secrets away, but you had mastered it over the years. 

You bit your lip as you swiped past several pictures of your best friend (who you totally didn’t have a crush on). The shot was perfect, well almost. Her green eyes were shining, and her dimples were showing. The only problem you had was that the smile was directed at one Tobin Heath instead of you. 

You were so focused on picking out a picture of Christen that you didn’t notice you were no longer alone in the dining hall. Hell, you didn’t notice anything until two hands landed on your shoulders. 

“Hey,” Emily yelled directly in your ear, you jolted in your seat, nearly falling as Emily and Lindsey cackled. 

You held your hand over your chest, fighting a smile of your own. You might not like being scared, but at least they were having a good time. 

“What are you two up to down here?” 

“Trying to fight the boredom of a lazy day. What are you up to?” Lindsey laughed, settling down into the seat beside you, and leaning over to look at the photos displayed on your laptop. 

“Just editing stuff for tomorrow’s release,” You shrugged, clicking so the photos advanced forward. 

“that last video has the fans going crazy,” Emily mumbled, leaning over the back of the chair to get a better view of the screen, and smirking when she saw a string of pictures focused on a certain forward. 

“Hmm, I’m glad, but it’s you guys who did all the work, I just shot the camera,” You hummed shaking your head. The women were so charismatic and funny that most of it took almost no artistry on your part. You just had to aim and capture. They were the ones giving you golden content. 

“Don’t sell yourself short, you edited like 15 hours of footage into 8 minutes,” Lindsey snorted, and you blushed just a little. Most people didn’t realize how much time a single clip took to put together, so it was kinda nice to have the acknowledgment. 

“But I have a question,” Emily said, her head popping over your shoulder as you began to edit one of the clips from today. It wasn’t anything spectacular, just Tobin threading a ball through for Christen. 

“Yeah Sonnett?” You asked, tilting your head, your tongue trapped between your teeth as you decided where to cut the clip into the one before it. 

“Why does Christen always get more screen time when she’s in those leggings?” 

You froze, the flush moving up your cheeks all the way to your ears. You weren’t that obvious, were you? She just looked so good in those pants, you really couldn’t help yourself. It was for the fans after all… 

“She doesn’t. I just pick the cool shots and stuff,” You grumbled, crossing your arms and slumping in your seat. 

Lindsey’s eyes softened. “If you ever wanna talk about it, you know where to find us,”. 

“There’s nothing to talk about. She’s my best friend and probably dating someone else anyway. I don’t stand a chance,” You mumbled, staring adamantly down at your twiddling fingers in your lap. 

You had known Christen since college, and you had had a crush on her for almost as long. Years ago you had been poised to make your move when one Tobin Heath entered the picture. She had all but swept Christen off her feet, and you knew you didn’t have a chance with the girl. Why would she want the shy camera girl when she could have one of the best players in the league. 

“Yeah, cause she totally doesn’t stare at you as much as you stare at her,” Emily snorted, patting your back. 

“I don’t stare…” You grumbled, pouting. 

“Whatever you say,” Lindsey cackled, a plan beginning to form. 

*****

Christen was not brooding. So she happened to be sitting in a corner, sipping on her beer watching you laugh with someone near the counter across the room from under her eyelashes. But that was not glowering, or even remotely stalkerish. Okay, but who WAS that that you were talking to, and why were they making you laugh so hard you almost choked on your drink?

“Hey Chris, nice view?” Tobin said, sliding into the seat next to Christen. 

“Peachy,” Christen said sarcastically, not looking away from where you were standing. Apparently, that girl you were talking to was interested in cameras, as you were currently showing her yours. Bitch.

“Hm, then why are you glaring at the nice rookie who is buying Y/n drinks?” 

“She’s a lightweight. If Sophia Smith buys her another one of those Long Island Iceteas then Y/n won’t be able to drive home,” Christen grumbled, sipping her beer. If Kelley could get you drunk with three margaritas, they were definitely in for it with the 3 long islands you had consumed. If only the rookie knew what a stupid move it was. 

“So she’ll order an uber.” Tobin shrugged with a smirk. Christen balked at the notion. You were a handful when drunk, and she wasn’t going to leave you alone in the hands of some poor college students. 

“Uber has unethical business practices.” She dismissed Tobin’s suggestion easily. 

“Maybe one of the Riveters will offer to take her then. Are you really going to sit here and pretend this has nothing to do with the fact that you’re head over heels for our favorite photographer?”

Christen rolled her eyes. There was no way in hell she was going to let you get in the car with one of your fans. No matter how supportive they were. 

“Maybe.” She pouted, crossing her arms. 

Tobin rolled her eyes at the reaction. God the two of you moved slower than Sloths. If you kept going at this rate you would be 70 by the time you finally got together. “So are you going to sit here and pout, or are you going to go get your girl?” 

“What if she doesn’t want me?”

“Trust me, she does,” Tobin snorted. Your crush was pretty obvious to anyone with eyes, as was Christen’s on you. The team had bets about how long it would take the two of you to grow the balls to ask each other out (and who would do the asking). 

Christen held Tobin’s eyes for a second. Then she set her drink down on the table and walked over to where you were standing with Smith. You turned to look at her, your eyes taking a second to refocus before you recognized her. 

“PRESSIE!” You screeched, then ducked down and whispered “sorry, too loud.”

“How many of these have you had?” Christen said, casually taking the glass from your hand. 

“Just two- you know that two-drink Y/n has problems with volume control!” You said, laughing at your Brooklyn 99 reference as you stole your drink back and took a big swig. “Don’t worry, I’ll switch to water next.”

“Right. So are you having fun talking to Sophie?” Christen said, not sure how to start the conversation. 

“Oh, sophies nice! Like she’s so funny. She pretended to be interested in photography so I could talk about it since I didn’t know any of the television shows she was talking about. Apparently, I need to watch she-ra or something, but I just don’t have time. And I already promised to watch that thing with you. You know that period drama thing. And you’re nicer. And really pretty. And you give really good cuddles. Even if you always like the villain characters in movies best, like a weirdo.”

“Just because I said Tom Hiddleston was hot one time-”

“It’s Okay, Pressie. I acknowledge that you have a terrible taste in men, you bi disaster you, and that’s okay. I love you anyway. Boop” and with that, you tapped her on the nose. 

Christen rolled her eyes, “Okay, let’s get you home before you profess the rest of your love for the team,” 

“Hmm, don’t love the rest of the team. Just love you, even if you love Tobin more,” You sighed, leaning your head on her shoulder. 

Christen tensed. “What?” She asked. Her and Tobin were strictly friends, and anyone with eyes knew she was hung up on you. 

“I wanna date you, but you’re dating tobito. That makes me sad. She scooped you up before i could profess my undying love, ” You pouted, scrunching your eyebrows together. You meant to tell her after Standford beat North Carolina so many years ago, but they had lost and she had gone to congratulate Tobin. 

Christen shook her head. “I’m in love with you dumbass, not Tobin,” 

You sat up and blinked owlishly at her, suddenly more sober than you had been 20 seconds ago. “You are?”

She rolled her eyes at you, kissing your nose lightly. She wasn’t about to argue with you about who she was in love with while you were drunk off your ass. She would investigate more later, profess her love when you were both sober, and make up for all your lost time “Alright, i think you’ve had enough. Let’s get you home hot stuff,”

[bakugous-bbygirl]

~Social media boyfriend~

Bakugou Katsuki x F!Reader

There needs to be more quarantine stories. Like come onnn we’re all stuck together anyway. That’s why I’m doing the public justice of giving us more fan fiction that’s current to the times. Please enjoy!

Warning: swearing. That’s it really.

Being stuck at home was really getting to everyone and it was pretty clear. From almost finishing your second year to having to do your third year at home. You didn’t even want to know how your hero course was gonna go. But now everyone is online all the time posting things they never would have if they got to go outside more.

You of course followed almost all your classmates on social media. Mostly twitter and Instagram, everything else was a little too much. You had your fair share of classmate followers so your posts were mostly pictures of everyone hanging out or weird selfies you took while half awake.

After reading one too many fanfics you opened Twitter to see a certain profile you liked scrolling through.

You have no clue why Bakugou had followed you one day but you figured it’s the poilte thing to follow back. After scrolling for an hour though you had pretty much summed up all of his account into a few words

Self centered music guy.

A lot of his tweets were just pictures of himself flexing in his mirror or screenshots of whatever his playlist consisted of with aggressive captions telling people to fuck off or listen to the song. Those pictures of his arms though. Ahh those hit differently.

You had a crush on the blonde since you started your first year however you didn’t think it shift into you calling him your online boyfriend and making constant tweets about him.

Nothing super obvious just the simple like “why can’t he love me back” or “when he learns I’m real it’s a wrap.” And on Instagram if it’s a cute photo of yourself your caption would consist of something like: “once my online boyfriend learns I’m desperate maybe we could cuddle” you know nothing weird or anything.

After scrolling through his twitter you found a old tweet that actually made you laugh. Like it was something actually funny. You figured kiri got ahold of his phone and posted it before Bakugou blew him up. It was a picture of Bakugou on his floor fixing his Grenade bracers with the tweet “he looks so cute all focused!”

You accidentally tapped the like button and didn’t even realize how weird that would’ve looked as you swiped out of the app. You went to your messages to text Mina since she always kept you busy durning these lonely days. “Hey crackhead you up yet? It’s almost 3 in the afternoon”

she replied pretty quick asking how you were and if you wanted her to FaceTime you. And who were you to turn down a chance to talk to your best friend?

After answering the call mina’s goofy pink face appeared on your screen while it looked like she was laying on her couch. “Hello!!” “Hey Mina.” You couldn’t help at smile how bubbly she is while talking to you. You figured her extroverted personality was put through the ringer being forced to stay at home. “Soooo how have you been? I see your keeping your social media pretty up to date with your creepy obsession with your online boyfriend?” You hold up your middle finger as you see her laugh “it’s not creepy. It’s the same as liking a famous person. You guys just don’t get to know who he is.” “Ooooo so he’s famous? That makes it totally normal.” You rubbed at your neck moving the phone from your face so she can’t see the Blush. “Well, kinda, not really, sorta..” you then noticed your phone vibrating that you got a new notification. “Oh hold up, I wanna check this.” “Oh no just ignore me as I try to find out who it is you love so much. I would really like to know someday” you waved her off with your hand going to your home screen, “you will one day. Hush up now.” You scrolled to the top of your screen to see your notifications and saw it was from twitter and it was someone wanted to message you, you played it off as Mina or one of your friends wanted to mess with you about a tweet you made early in the day or something. “What’s the point of messaging me when we’re on the phone?” You went back to the call to see Mina tilting her head like a bird “what do you mean? I didn’t message you?” “Oh, I figured it was you sending me something stupid on twitter. Lemme see who it is then.”

You opened twitter while half way listening to whatever story Mina felt like telling at that moment and noticed the message was actually Bakugou saying “what the fuck” “Oh it’s just Bakugou. Weird he normally doesn’t send me anything” you opened the message just as Mina said “maybe it’s him telling you what you tweeted was dumb or pointless? That’s normally what he does to me.” You laughed and saw he had sent a screenshot of a notification he got from you like a tweet from legit a year ago. You almost died. “Ahhhhhhh shit I gotta go minathanksforcallingbye!” And flat out hung up in her face. You couldn’t believe you were dumb enough to like the tweet. Why didn’t you notice? God you were stupid.

And what’s even worse you already opened the message and he could see you already read it so In a panick you just typed out some half ass reply acting as if you were confused “what? I didn’t do anything to you” you then texted Mina explaining how weird he probably thinks you are. “sooo Bakugou is mystery your online boyfriend and you got caught totally creepin?” You face turned red as you replied “I never said he was my crush!” “you posted on Instagram yesterday that sometimes you scroll through his account and read his old tweets. Get busted y/n.” You threw you phone away from you on the table and layed Your head into your pillows.

You were so caught. Almost all your tweets and posts from the last few months were you thirsting over this boy and showing how lonely you are durning this quarantine. You wouldn’t be so embarrassed if it was someone you were closer too, Like kirishima or denki. The fact Bakugou barely spoke with you durning your time in classes made it feel even weirder. How could you be so dumb to forget your one rule of being a simp. No liking old posts or tweets. Just saving the photo depending on what it is. That rule just got tossed out the window as you pushed your face tighter into the pillow. No way was he gotta think your cute or whatever after this.

The sound of your phone going off got your attention and you reached for it slightly hoping it was Mina with a way to get you out of this. However it was the dreaded online boyfriend messaging you again. “Don’t play dumber than you are dumbass. The fuck is with you liking my old tweets” You really didn’t have the best response so you came up with the best you could. “Mina had my phone. Sorry she was being weird.”

That was so dumb. You both knew good and well that no one was allowed to be around each other since this whole virus came out. Could this day get any worse? Yes. Yes it could shut up.

“Try again.” Was all he replied with but you could hear the smug in his voice. Like no way was he gonna not call you out for this. The only times he did speak to you was when he was being an ass and making fun of you. Or when he grabbed your hips and moved you out of his way. You always loved that because his hands trapped your figure so perfectly but decided it was better to keep that to yourself. You were fully ready to admit defeat. There were no more lies you could come up with on the spot. “alright look, I’m sorry if it’s weird. Honest mistake.” This was your last shot to keep your dignity after such a embarrassing day.

It actually took him a while to reply. You figured he was too busy to entertain your contuinus lies until you got a notification from Instagram saying Ground_Zer0 liked your post. You opened the app to see he liked the picture where your caption was you basically admitted you scrolled through his old tweets because he was your online boyfriend. Before your brain could kick you for posting that bold statement in the first place you got two more messages from him. He had screenshotted the picture and caption. “So gonna keep lying like I don’t follow your accounts” Yep. Mina was so right. You were busted. Nothing much was left to be said. You were caught simping on one of your classmates who was aiming to be the number one hero. Just great.

“You gonna reply or what dumbass” Here goes everything. No reason to keep your lies, nothing much to lose.

“Alright so yeah I’ve liked you for a while now, I don’t know what about you makes me like you so much but I always found you really cool. Your so passionate about wanting to do good it’s almost silly how mean you are to everyone. Your not all that ugly either so that helps or whatever.” You confidence found half way through texting him. Not like he could make fun of you to all your friends and school. He doesn’t seem like the guy. Right?

“Oh.” Oh. That’s all he has to say. What the shit. What type of reply is that! Here you are pouring your heart out and that’s all he says back! This was kinda worse than him laughing! You barely got a reaction at all! “So how long have you liked Me” you took a second to think of the least creepy answer, “I mean since the beginning of our second year, why?”

It wasn’t a whole lie. Like since you had liked him the beginning of last year too. Your heart was beating out of your chest. Your emotions were clearly a wreck. From anger to slight confusion and embarrassment. What if he used this against you for real? Like you could never live down how much you really thought about him and wanted to be around him. It was pretty clear since you layed eyes on him you really cared about him.

“Well, I’ve liked you longer so I guess it’s my job to ask your dumbass out”

“Wanna be my girlfriend you weird stalker?”

You legit couldn’t believe it. You rubbed at your eyes for a good five minutes. Was he being serious? Was it a joke? You couldn’t think straight your head was so fuzzy “OI DONT LEAVE ME ON READ DUMBASS!” “If this is a way to make fun of me it isn’t very funny Bakugou.”

It seriously wasn’t funny. You knew for a while he felt nothing back for you, he never liked any of your posts or made much of an effort to even talk to you when you guys did attend school. He was clearly better friends with Mina since she even got messages from him, even if they were insults you would’ve taken what you could get. No way were you setting yourself up any more to get laughed at.

At that moment you got a FaceTime call from a number you didn’t have saved. You had no clue who it was. Against your better judgement you answered figuring that telemarketers don’t make FaceTime calls. What you got was a grumpy looking Bakugou staring at his screen. You could feel his eyes staring through you. You wanted to throw your phone so far it wasn’t even a joke. “Bout time dumbass.” He was layed out on his bed with a black wife beater hanging loosely on his body. You could tell he hasn’t moved from the bed in a while since the sheets and blankets were slightly messed up. “Now tell me. You see anyone else in my fucking room?” You shook your head in a confused manner, what was that question for? “Okay then. So it’s clear this isn’t a fucking joke. I like your dumb ass. Now will you please be my real girlfriend?” You stared at his face for any sort of sign it was still a joke.

But all you got was Bakugou blushing. Wait blushing? Seriously. That’s screenshot worthy. “I..well..w-wait we can’t even see each other?” You heard him grunt as a smirk appeared on his lips “if that’s your way of saying yes ain’t no stupid virus keeping me from kissing you like I’ve wanted to forever now.” “N-no way! You’ll get in trouble! Or sick!” Your face filled with heat as his words flowed so confidently. Like he knew all this time this is everything he’s ever wanted to say to you. “Did you not hear me? No virus is keeping me from you or getting me sick. Just let me say your mine stupid! I won’t fucking ask again.” “Y-yeah! O-okay I’ll be your girlfriend!” Another smirk tugged at his lips. “Damn straight. Alright get ready I’ll be there soon.” After that he hung up.

“Wait what?! Don’t come! Hello? Ah shit.” You still couldn’t really believe that all this really happened. You just got a boyfriend. After accidentally liking his post. From a year ago. Wow. What luck! You opened Instagram to congratulate yourself by posting the screenshot you had snagged but saw that a certain someone had posted a screenshot of you looking all confused durning a FaceTime call.

The ass screenshotted you looking confused after he asked you if anyone else was in his room. You looked at the caption and it absolutely made you turn red

“Thanks for giving me her number pinky.”

P1nky commented “anytime! Get you some!”

You hate your friends. You do love them. But you seriously can’t stand them.

Thank you all for reading so much! Also thank you for the 100 followers! I appciate it a lot and it gives me more reason to keep writing!

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Unlikely Parents: Part 2

Pairings: Negan x reader (Jane the Virgin AU), Hotel owner!Negan x Parolee!Reader

Warnings: Artificial insemination, Swearing, Angst

Word Count: 3,129

A/N: Yea, this took on a life of its own…. Not sorry.

Part 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey… ummm, what are you doing?” Beth asked as she stopped beside you in the break room on her way into work a couple weeks after you had started. You glanced up at her and kept taping your only pair of nice shoes together with duct tape in a way that they would still look halfway presentable.

“Only option I have.”

“You don’t have other shoes?” She asked as she took off her sneakers and stuck them in her locker.

“Sneakers.” You sighed, annoyed with the questions on no sleep. “Can’t wear those here. Wore these outta prison…”

“Well that just won’t do.” She said as she grabbed an extra pair of shoes from her locker and set them down on the bench in front of you. “Wear those. That grey will clash with our uniforms.”

“They’re shoes, Beth.” You barked as you looked up at her while you ripped off the piece of tape and secured it to the top so you could tape the other side so they would at least match.

“And they are the only ones you have.” She said as she put her sweater in her locker and sat down in front of you. “Sweetie, we need to get you a slightly bigger wardrobe. I’ve seen you in all of two t-shirts on your days off when you come down for lunch. And now your shoes are falling apart. So let’s go to the thrift store tomorrow when I get off work. I know you’re off. So let’s go shopping…”

“There’s no point, Beth!” You snapped as you used your toes to push her shoes back toward her. “Just drop it!”

“No!” She retorted, angrily with a shake of her head. “We are going to the thrift store and we are getting you new shoes for work and just a couple new t-shirts because you need it. And I will not take no for an answer. Now put these shoes on and let’s go!” You cocked your eyebrow at her as she quickly jumped to her feet and slammed her locker closed.

“You know if you were anyone else, I’d kick your ass for thinking you could talk to me like that.”

“I know, I don’t know where that came from.” She giggled as she took the tape from your hand and put her shoes in it instead. “Come on, it’s getting to be lunch time. We’re gunna get slammed here soon.”

“Fuck, OK, OK. I’m fucking coming.” You grumbled as you took off your shoes and put hers on. You realized quickly that making that choice was a terrible idea, since her shoes seemed to be a half size too small. You refused to show the pain on your face and forced a smile instead, which managed to get you more tips at the end of the night than usual. When you finished cleaning up with Beth, you thanked her for her shoes, put your ripped ones back on, and headed up to Negan’s office to give him your tips for your future home fund.

“Sixty eight after pay out for the whole day.” You said to him as you walked past his assistant through the door she was holding open for you. 

“So Lucille tells me you need new work shoes.” He said without looking away from the email he was sending. “And that you only have two shirts?”

“I have shirts.” You huffed as you set the cash down on the desk and sat down in one of the two chairs. “I’m just fine.”

“You have an escort to the thrift store tomorrow?” He asked, already knowing the answer as he looked over the rims of his black rimmed glasses.

“Fuck, you’re gunna make me go, too.” You groaned as you leaned back in your chair and covered your ten week along, barely there bump.

“Lucille is going to accompany you.” He stated simply as he picked up your cash and held it out for you. “Use this for new work shoes and a couple outfits that you can wear now and after the pregnancy. Since we are covering pregnancy expenses, we will finance your maternity wardrobe.”

“You don’t have to…” You tried as he pushed his glasses back up his nose and turned back to his computer.

“Lucille will be waiting downstairs at 10 sharp. Let Beth know to be on time as well.”

“Fine.” You sighed as you picked your money back up and headed out of the office to go to bed. You passed out with your work dress still on after giving Beth a quick call for the time, and woke up with just enough time to jump through the shower, get sick twice, and head down stairs in a pair of leggings that had burn holes and worn spots all over, and a extra large t-shirt that had once belonged to your over weight father, that was at least something different to wear.

“My God.” Lucille gasped as she looked you up and down while Beth smile and waved at you.

“A different shirt.” Your… you hesitated to call her a friend but unfortunately, that’s what she was becoming, whether you liked it or not said as she gave you a hug you were now simply tolerating. “Miami Dolphins. My dad is a fan, too.”

“One of the only shirts in my house when I got out.” You admitted with a shrug.

“Well, let’s get you into a… nicer wardrobe.” Lucille said with a forced smile as she gestured you out toward a waiting town car.

“Oh!” Beth squeaked as she looked between you and your boss. “I didn’t realize…”

“It’s a long story.” You sighed as you slipped into the back seat and scooted across the leather. 

“We’ll head to the Motherhood Maternity store at the International Mall first please, Jason.” Lucille said as she got in beside Beth. Your friend’s head whipped over toward her and you rolled your eyes.

“My OB knocked me up.” You sighed as you propped your head up with your fist on the door. “With Negan’s sperm. So I guess I’m their surrogate for the next nine months.”

“Which we are eternally grateful for.” Lucille said, a little forcefully with an equally forced smile. “But being a felon, she needs an escort to leave the hotel with our property…”

“Well… it’s a baby.” Beth interrupted as she watched you roll and then close your eyes at your ‘warden’s’ choice of words. “But I don’t mind being her escort if she needs to leave. I mean, if that’s OK…”

“You will be her escort.” Lucille said with a small smile as she pulled out her cell phone. “We just can’t risk giving her the money she’ll need for maternity clothes.”

“It’s fine.” You muttered under your breath before Beth could say anything to your defense. “Comes with the territory.”

“Well, let’s just… let’s just get you some new work shoes and some new leggings.” She said with a slight waver in her tone as she pat your knee. “And maybe some more feminine shirts. Maybe we’ll even splurge and get hair cuts…”

“Oh, she won’t have the money for that.” Lucille said with a glance over at the pair of you. “She lives on a budget with us so she can keep herself out of prison, and away from drugs since she seems to attract handcuffs like a magnet.”

“Gotta love it.” You grumbled with a shake of your head as the car thankfully pulled into the mall parking lot in record time. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You thankfully didn’t see Lucille for an entire week after your mortifying run in, and only saw Negan for a few moments to drop off your tips for the bank account he was establishing for you, but you were unfortunately stuck with both of them for your first doctors appointment with your new OB for your 12 week check up. You choose to sit in the passenger seat and not in the back with them, and you nervously wrapped the fringe of an adorable over jacket you found at one of the three thrift stores you went to for only a quarter around your finger. You couldn’t help but notice the slightly awkward tension between the two people behind you, but you were absolutely not bringing it up to the same two people that saw you as simple gutter trash anyways.

You walked into the office, filled out the necessary paperwork, and sat down on the completely opposite side of the room from Negan and Lucille. The stupid waiting room magazines kept you entertained until the nurse called you back. The further you got through the process, however, the more you wanted to just die. When the tech finally got to the point where she was ready to start, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at the monitor, because you would absolutely change your mind.

“Oh, my baby.” Lucille cooed over the thump of the baby’s heart, and a giant knot formed in your throat. “Negan, look at him.” Tears welled behind your closed lids as her words were drowned out by the quick beat that belonged to the little life growing inside you. A life that you never knew how badly you wanted until you heard it. You turned your head to the side away from the monitor and shook your head when the tech asked if you wanted to see your child, but the lovely Lucille stepped in instead.

“Oh, she’s just the surrogate.” She said with a wave of her hand in your direction as she continued to stare at the monitor while the photos were printed out for her. Your tears finally slipped free and you moved your arm up to cover your eyes as you let out a shaky breath to calm yourself.

“I’m gunna go get the doctor.” The tech said as Lucille took her photos from her and sat down in her chair. You wiped off your stomach and slightly awkwardly pushed yourself up… but you were actually surprised when Negan offered his hand to help. He didn’t say a word as he leaned forward and searched your eyes for a moment, but you quickly looked down at the flip flops you had gotten for a dollar, as the doctor knocked on the door.

“Hello, Ms. (Y/L/N)?” You nodded and looked up at her as she focused on you and not your bosses. “Hi, my name is Dr. Rhee, how are you?”

“I’m fine.” You said softly as you fixed your shirt and vest. “But you can talk to them, it’s their baby…”

“Actually, can I have a minute alone with the patient, please?” She asked as she looked over at the Solano’s with a smile.

“Oh! But I have questions…” Lucille tried, but Dr. Rhee shook her head.

“We can address those after I introduce myself to my patient.” You glanced over at Lucille, who looked positively pissed, but Negan nodded his head and gestured for his wife to leave. You met his eyes for a moment before he stepped out, and your tears started to fall as the door closed behind him.

“I’m sorry…”

“(Y/N)…” She said softly as she pulled her seat over and sat down in front of you with a smile. “My name is Maggie. I’m Beth’s older sister.” You sniffed and searched her eyes as she  nodded her head. “I’ve been seeing Mrs. Solano for years. She helped Bethie get a job when she turned 15. And my sister…” She huffed and smiled even bigger. “She thinks you are something special. She told me you look like someone that deserves a second chance. So, I want to ask you this. Let’s forget about your drug record, and your prison time. If you had a place to live, and a good paying job, and access to day care. If you had the best chance in life and you had the resources to do so, would you keep your baby?” You hesitated for barely a moment, before nodding your head. 

“Yes.”

“OK.” She said as her smile grew even more. “That’s what I thought just by looking at you when I walked in the door. So no matter what, we’ll make that happen. My family gives second chances to those who deserve it, and from what Beth tells me, you are worth it. Now, let’s start over. Do you want to see your baby? The tech said you didn’t look.” Tears welled in your eyes and you nodded your head.

“Please.”

“OK. Lie back. Let’s take a look at this baby.” With a nod of your head, you pulled your shirt back up and laid down as she pulled the machine back over to the table. Your tears fell faster in a much more positive way as she turned the screen toward you and found your child. “What are you hoping for?”

“A baby girl.” You choked as you reached out toward the screen.

“Well, I’m not a betting woman, but I’ve done this enough that I could probably give you a seventy five percent sure confirmation that you are going to be right.”

“I always liked the name Eden.”

“I think that’s a perfect name.” She said as she turned on the sound. Your smile grew impossibly more as you gently touched the screen and your little girl’s cheek.

“Hi sweet angel.” You whispered to her. “It’s mommy.”

“She looks perfect.” Maggie said with a smile as she printed out your own photos and pulled the wand back. “So, what questions do you have for me?”

“Oh my God… you have no idea…”

——

No matter how hard you tried not to eavesdrop, you could help but hear Negan and Lucille arguing in the suite next to yours. You couldn’t make out words so much as how they went back and forth, but you could tell he was pissed, and that she was crying. You tried not to let your imagination run wild with what they could be saying as you looked at the little plum you had fallen head over heels in love with that afternoon. You startled when the door to their room slammed shut, and jumped again when someone knocked on your door. 

“Can I come in?” Negan asked with a slight growl to his tone, and with a nod, you stepped back and let him into your spotless bedroom. “Wanna give you these...” He tried as he held out Lucille’s copies of the sonogram from earlier that day.

“It’s OK.” You breathed as you went over to the single seater chair and picked up your copy from the arm rest. “The doc did another ultrasound for me.”

“You wanna fucking keep it, don’t you?” He asked as he sat down on the couch by you, which made you subconsciously sit down as well. You nodded the slightest bit and looked down at your daughter as tears welled in your eyes.

“Please don’t take her from me.” You whispered on a breath as you curled your legs up on the chair to hide your child. “Please, I promise, I won’t take her away. I won’t even leave Dade county if you don’t want me to. And I know I can figure out how to get a nice place and get her into day care. I’ll work two jobs if I have to, I don’t mind. I just... I need her, Negan. Please...”

“OK, fucking calm down.” He sighed when you burst into hysterics. “Calm down, baby girl. I’m not gunna take her.” You let out a choked, desperate thank you, and he couldn’t help but chuckle as he got up from his spot. “Well fuck me, they said pregnant women were emotional but damn, girl.”

“I have e-every right!” You cried as he pulled you to your feet and then down onto his lap.

“Yea, you do.” He agreed as he rubbed your back to get you to calm down. “I’m... so fucking sorry she treated you like that.”

“‘S’OK.” You tried but he shook his head against your forehead, completely ignoring the cheap makeup and tears ruining the shoulder of his shirt. 

“No, that’s not OK. It is fucking never OK for someone to treat someone else like they don’t fucking matter. Fuck, that’s why I filed for divorce in the fucking first place.” Your tears almost instantly stopped and you sat up to look at him in shock as he loosened his hold on you and sat back in his chair. “Yea, she fucking convinced me to have a marriage saving baby. But thank fuck I got you instead.”

“Wait...” You sniffed as you searched his brown eyes. “Can we let the record show that I am not a baby, and the only reason I am crying like one is because I don’t want you to take my baby?”

“Recorded.” He agreed with a nod as he helped you to your feet so he could sit in his own chair. “I love my wife, don’t get me wrong. We were together seventeen long years... but she is a fucking heinous bitch to people. And yea, I can be a fucking dick, too... but I would never, ever refer to the mother of my husband’s child as ‘just the surrogate’. And I’m fucking sorry she said that.”

“Thank you.”

“Now, we’re at twelve weeks outta forty. We got a long fucking way to go, OK? So for now, let’s keep on the path we’re on. Keep working, and saving up money... but lets get to know each other so I’m not just the rich, dick head baby daddy and you’re not...”

“The drug dealing, prison bitch baby mama?”

“I was gunna say legal jail bait but we’ll go with that.” He chuckled as he got up from his chair. He reached down to pick up the sonograms he had brought and shook his head with a smile. “Can’t fucking believe it. You know they told me all my life that I’d never have a kid? And fucking look at us now.”

“We’re an anomaly, that’s for sure.” You agreed as you laced your fingers together on your bump. He nodded his head and glanced down at your hands for a moment before turning toward the door to leave.

“Don’t worry about Lucille, anymore. I’ll fucking deal with her through my lawyer.”

“Well if you ever need the company, I’m the next room over. Curfew’s at nine so I’m here from then on!” He stopped at the door with a smile and nodded his head as he put the photo of his child in his shirt pocket.

“I may take you up on that, baby girl.”

Part 3

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Arranged {1}

Yahya Abdul Mateen II x OFC Nyorie Kane

Warning: Plot

Words: 1.4k

Summary: Yahya is thirty-three, and his friends and family all seem to believe that it is long overdue for him to have a wife. He’s been set up more times than he can count and with his busy schedule and rising Hollywood star, it is becoming even more difficult to meet people, well people who aren’t looking for a come up. In the beginning, he said he didn’t want anything serious; his motto was “I’m was here for a good time not a long time.” Then it became he didn’t want anything that would distract him from where he wanted to go and what he wanted to accomplish. Now that his fame is rising and he’s approaching a sweet spot in his career he decides what the hell the time might be right.

In comes “A Match”, an exclusive matchmaking company run by his best friend Ramel’s wife Tamika. He gives Tamika and Ramel free rein and all his trust to find him, someone, he’d mesh well with. Instead of going through her clientele Tamika has just the right woman in mind, her best friend, Nyorie. Things are done a little unorthodox at “A Match” though. This unconventional route is credited for a near-perfect success rate.

Note: I’ve only tagged those who have expressed to be on a forever tag list. 

****Also, please keep an open mind.

**Loosely Proofread/Edited**

✧*.。:。✧*.:。✧*✧*.。:。✧*.:。✧*✧*.。:。✧*.:。✧*

 Chapter One

  “Man, you not getting any younger. Plus we all know how important family is to you the rate you’re going you not even gonna have one till you fifty,” Ramel said as he came back into the living room with his hands full of food. Ramel stopped in front of the U-shaped sectional and handed out bags to their owners. He stood up and took the cream-colored plastic bag Ramel held out for him.

 “I don’t know how many times you’re going to keep saying this.”

 “As many times as need be. I mean really, is uncle Ya good enough bruh?”

 He pulled out the containers of food and thought about Ramel’s words for a few moments. He loved being uncle Ya, loved picking his niece Havea and nephew Rami up for their biweekly ice-cream and bowling night. He loved showing up to their school functions and trips to Disney and tagging along to kid movie premiers. He wouldn’t change anything about it.

“Look man, I know you love my kids. What’s not to love? I also know you want kids of your own. You can’t have that continuing on the way you are,” Ramel drilled home.

 He knew it. Truthfully, he’d been mulling the pros and cons over for months. Ramel wasn’t the only one in his life badgering him like this. His mother, sisters, and brother were all on his case too. His mother liked to pile on the guilt asking him when she’d get a grandchild and when she’d get to see him walk down the aisle and made it no secret she was praying for it before she died. What the hell was he to say to that?

 “Not everybody wanna be married Mel, you got half the squad on that ball and chain shit leave him alone,” Rashawn blurted out. The four of them laughed loudly. Normally they’d be keeping it down because of the kids but they were at a sleepover, so they were free to be as loud as they wanted.

 “Man, shut up. He the last one. Your ass bout to be on that ball and chain shit too. One-week fool,” Ramel added.

 “You don’t have to remind me. Torri has the house filled with everything wedding related. Man, this week needs to hurry up so we can get back to real life.”

 He leaned back and focused on his food. He was the last one in the group still single. The last one of the four musketeers, the lone wolf. It didn’t bother him before; it was just the way it was. Now—he wouldn’t focus on it, not now.

 They continued to watch the basketball game and talk like they always did when they got together. They’d been friends for a long time, and he valued their friendship and advice. He trusted them with everything and would always have their backs as he knew the same was true for them.

 Rashawn desperately stayed away from all and any talk about his wedding to Torri. He acted like he’d been caroused into the wedding when everyone knew damn well he was stupid in love and cried through the proposal. Ramel assumed the role of loudmouth big brother pretending like he knew everything; it was a role he’d played for most of their friendship. Tyrell didn’t pretend to not be the hopelessly devoted husband he was to Dacia; he was the one who was always caught texting her and secretly face-timing her during guys night out. When they got together, a lot of fun and a lot of shit-talking always happened and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

 By the time the game ended, the food finished, and Tamika came home it was close to two in the morning. Ramel wasted no time kicking everyone out when he saw how inebriated Tamika was.

 “Y’all don’t have to go home, but you got to get the hell up outta here. My woman is drunk, we got no kids for the night, some freaky shit bout to go down!”

 They all rolled their eyes and quickly began gathering their things.

 “How freaky?” He looked back to see Tamika crook her pointer and wiggle it to Ramel who smiled but pushed her hand down trying to hide her finger. He knew they were into some freaky shit and he did not need the details or the visuals.

 “Imma head out. I have an early day later anyway. Stay up man,” he said and went around the group giving each of them their handshake.

 “Think about what I said burh. We here for you,” Ramel finished. He nodded and walked over to Tamika and gave her a kiss on the cheek before he walked out the door to his car in the rounded driveway.

 The drive back to his house was a quick and quiet one. When he got home he showered and used the rest of his awake time to prep for the coming day. He knew it would be a long one.

  -The Next Day-

 Just as expected the day stretched on and on. He got maybe two hours of sleep before he was out of the house and on a set for a photoshoot. That shoot went on for eight hours, then he was off to a string of interviews then two meetings and yet another photoshoot.

 It was now close to one in the morning and they were just getting their last shots. He was exhausted. he knew this came with the territory. If he wanted to act he had to be okay with photoshoots, interviews, paparazzi, and everything else that came with fame. Some days it was a tough pill to swallow and he wondered what it would have been to continue on in architecture, and others he took it in stride and piled more onto his plate. Today was a mix of both.

 “All right Yahya, thank you that’s a wrap,” the photographer called out. He nodded and went around shaking hands with everyone who worked the shoot. A woman with dirty blond hair approached him with a wide smile.

 “I am such a fan, Yahya. I loved you in Aquaman.” He graciously smiled and thanked her. She bit her bottom lip and gave him a look he knew wasn’t strictly friendly. “Can I have a picture?”

 “Sure. No problem,” he cautiously responded as he stepped beside her and waited for her to angle her phone just right.

 “Say Black Manta.” He smiled at her request and held up his peace fingers. Once the photo was taken she turned to him again and thanked him.

 “Look, I know this is forward and normally I wouldn’t do this but it’s 2020, I’m gonna shoot my shot.” She held out a piece of paper to him and he could see a phone number scribbled across it.

 “This is my number. No pressure to use it, just—if you want to use it, I’d answer, and we could hang out.”

 She was attractive, he wasn’t going to deny that. Her skin reminded him of smooth chestnut. Coupled with the color of her hair she was a beautiful woman. He was just leery of her motives. Ninety percent of the women he’d met since his breakout roles all had ulterior motives.  Most just wanted to be seen out with him so the rumor mill could start circulating and give them their fifteen minutes. He wasn’t with that. That was the one thing about his newfound fame. He never knew what anyone wanted from him anymore.

 “Uh--.” He was speechless. He didn’t want to embarrass her by rejecting her, so he took the paper and nodded. “Thank—you.”

 She smiled and again bite her bottom lip. “Okay, great. See you around.” She walked off leaving him to look down at the paper with her name and number. “Thalia-954-389-3048.” She’d dotted her I with a star. It bothered him and he didn’t know why. He stuffed the paper in his pocket resolved in his decision not to take it there.  He didn’t have the time or energy to sift through the sea of clout chasers.

 He quickly finished up, got his things and left. He’d missed his workout for the day and needed to get one in. every little bit helped especially with him trying to get into Matrix shape.

 Luckily his trainer was up and was able to meet him at the gym to train. A few reps on the treadmill, another couple sets of weights, then some time on the bar and finally a brutal boxing session rounded out the hour and fifteen-minute rotation. By the end of it, he was dripping sweat and ready to just drop in bed which is just what he did. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TagList:

@chrisgalore @thatrandomhetaliachick @missdeerstalker15 @queenbetter @jesseswartzwelder @briellableu @titty-teetee  @zaddysqueen7 @melaninhawtie  @simplyyamberr @airis-paris14 @ashanti-notthesinger @afraiddreamingandloving @ajspencer1892 @wakanda-inspired @chillavesss @drsunshine97 @cleothegoldfish @builtalongthewayside @theunsweetenedtruth @geeksareunique @aykanna @hanasamara @profilia @ollieveracity @autumn242 @missyperle @sup3rn0va13 @chaneajoyyy @forbeautyandlife @kreolemami @designerwriterchic  @laketaj24

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on The White People Waambulance, Chapters 18 and 19

• Sorry this QT is coming out so late, guys. I regret to say my heart wasn't really in this one...and it hasn't been with regards to my QTs for a while. This one might be my last, unless we count me finishing them off for the (not rewritten) Book 1. It's been two years since I began, and the last two books made the process honestly really exhausting.

�� I clubbed the two finale chapters together because I really couldn't be bothered to do separate ones for both.

• In fact...I won't be doing any of what I have been doing for my QTs so far. I'll be honest to you: I usually do multiple replays, the last few in tandem with the other routes on YouTube. I go through the scenes one by one. I keep note of differences and variations and carefully choose screenshots that will reflect the gist of the scenes.

But I couldn't be bothered to do any of that this time. I pressed the "continue" and then the "end book" buttons as soon as I finished my first run of those chapters. I'm drained, guys. And I don't think I'll be coming back to the TRH series at least, not even for Liam or Hana or Kiara. Maybe my mind will change by the time the second book comes out (update from present-day Lizzy: no it didn't) but I'm not counting on it. And you'll probably know why by the time this QT ends.

• TW: Discussions on racism, both fandom racism and from within the narrative. The last section of this QT is going to be...pretty heavy, guys.

There's also going to be a lot of anti-Drake, anti-Olivia, anti-Madeleine and anti-Penelope content here, so if you like any of those characters...well, you've been warned.

The ensuing post is going to be LONG, and I know a lot of you have good reasons not to deal with long posts, so here's a tldr:

1. The TRR writing team stick to their weird obsession for jobless whiny white men.

2. Read this book once and you'll feel like you're drowning in an ocean of white tears.

3. WOC continue to get scraps from the writing team, even as they boast of being diverse and inclusive. In fact, they're regularly treated as mere tokens, exotic eye-candy or non-entities, while their behaviour is measured on standards that are very different from their white counterparts (this happens in other books as well).

...okay I wasn't expecting for the tldr to be long too 😅

• Me @ my QTs then:

Me @ my QTs now:

• I'll probably be finishing off my TRR Book 1 QT series when I'm a little less burnt out, but for now this is where it ends, I guess.

• So...here is to summarize the last two chapters: Accident happens. LIs mad. Paparazzi sad (but largely get away scot-free). MC and baby safe. At the Council meeting Kiara slam dunks the murderer of Liam's mother with the style and elegance this fandom still refuses to acknowledge her for. The MC is nice to her for like half a second. Last Apple Ball. New clothes for everyone as if they had a Diwali bumper sale the week before or something. Godfrey is somehow responsible for the security (who thought this was a good idea) and seeing the Auvernese Royal Guard outside our doors is SO not-creepy.

We get to see if we impressed our Auvernese and Monterriso allies enough. Bradshaw compliments Kiara for like half a second. Olivia sees the dude from the Q&A session (Jin) at the Ball and (if you pay) you get to see her catch, interrogate and lowkey flirt with him.

Leona and Bianca make it to the ball (where is Bartie Sr. Where are Xinghai and Lorelei. Where is Regina) and this time the narrative makes sure to shoehorn a plot element into their presence here: Leona is there so we can do something about the reveal that she constantly ratted us out to the press for money. ("oh look! Walker Ranch was plot related after all! We have a reason (albeit a flimsy, paper-thin one) to set 9 whole chapters in Texas. Even though we had to literally come up with this bit in the last minute, because really - all we wanted to do as a writing team was nut collectively over Drake Walker")

(I also can't believe that between the time I wrote this line and the time this QT finally came out - they literally found a way to re-fucking-write Book 1 so they could nut collectively over Drake Walker earlier)

• Why were we required to dress down in Texas for these assholes when they couldn't even bother to dig up their Sunday best for this ball??? Oh right, they're Walkers. Hypocrisy runs in the family.

• Good thing is you can choose to banish Leona if you want. She's angry about it for a second then accepts it and leaves. But like what is the point of banishing her when she hardly even bothers to come there in the first place? She's not going to be bawling her eyeballs out saying "boohoo, they threw me out of this country that I spent like five minutes in and never even wanted to visit in the first place".

• Bianca is present at the end of Chapter 18 mainly to deliver to us a plot point at the very last minute: a clue about where we could find proof about Queen Eleanor's murder. Bianca mentions conversations Jackson had with her, and a secret room somewhere. Her leaving the palace and abandoning her children is addressed, and the MC gets to berate her. It's...short.

• Why this important piece of information was given to Bianca when idk LEO could have pitched in and spoken about it, no one knows. Oh wait. I keep forgetting. Bianca is Drake's mother. That's why.

• Okay so Amalas valiantly found out about Leona's involvement in this and gave us tangible proof via photographs. But we're kiiiinda forgetting that the scrutiny and privacy invasions were happening even before we hauled ass to Walker Ranch? Who was responsible for those? Who was the "source" that the Chapter 17 paparazzo was referring to, the one that mentioned they would triple the price for more photos of the Queen/Mother of the Heir (Coz like why would she do that. She's already broke)? How did Amalas come by this information so easily and why was she really that invested? Why is no one asking these questions? Why isn't the group asking these questions? Why are they stupid. Jesus, they're all so stupid. HOW ARE YOU SO STUPID, SQUAD.

• Shortly after they get rid of Leona and Bianca, the rest of the group give the happy couple a choice of toys for the nursery - and that's our final nursery purchase. You can either go for the corgi - which is on brand for the series by now I think - or the lion, which is seen as very Cordonian.

• More party shenanigans. We're nice to Kiara for another half-second. Kiara arranges a photoshoot for us. The team can't pretend to give a fuck anymore about its fans so they will ask us to pay for an edit that I've seen millions of edit-creators in the fandom do wayyyy better. Like let's be honest - compare the engagement shoot pics (messy as they were) to the shoots we eventually got this book. You can see the difference. You can tell which one required more work.

• Anyway, if you choose this scene you wind up going back to the ballroom, dance with your spouse, aaaaand it's time for another diamond option. This time your spouse gives you something you've been craving (mousse parfait for the Liam MC, chocolate chip cookies for the Hana MC, handmade chocolates for the Maxwell MC and a choice between bacon and a veg version of it for the Drake MC. Damn, team TRR. Your favouritism is showing). The couple also writes a letter to the baby that the child can read growing up, in a bit of a parallel to Eleanor's letter to Liam that we see at the end of the chapter.

• After this, Liam reveals he has been pondering over what Bianca said, and wants to find out where they could find that secret room. Cue Liam's own flashback scene for free. Godfrey bringing to Queen the same goblet that the RoE MC found in a flea market in Book 2 for Regina (or perhaps just a similarish one). Liam and Eleanor reciting a rhyme that turns out to have clues for the secret room.

• To give the team credit, they seem to have (finally) put some thought into this. Like this actually feels like Liam's scene. Not one that delivers information about his family but is really about another character. They seem to incorporate all the things Eleanor seemed to be known for - things that were hardly addressed in the books when it came to talk of her. She is shown with a love for books given that books and poetry form an important part of the clues she leaves for Liam. One of the books is about foraging, which is unsurprising considering her love for gardens that was established in Book 1 of TRR.

• So...like...nice job but why was practically everything about Eleanor (including the way she'd stand up to Constantine, her displeasure at the sound of Godfrey and Bartie's names, her nature that Liam not only inherited but also learned) left only for your finale? Why no buildup? Why was I seeing you lot constantly pandering to Drake's family the entire time? Why do I know way, way more about Jackson than I do about Eleanor whose story this WAS? Why is she and her son suddenly getting this burst of attention at the tail end??

• They still manage to push young!Drake into a scene focusing on Liam and Eleanor, so we can see how Eleanor's teaching of how to be a responsible royal began to make inroads into Liam's way of thinking. It's the ultimate irony, that Liam took his mother's advice so much to heart that he lets Drake stay in his home, eat his food, and complain about those dastardly nobles to his heart's content for free.

Poor Eleanor in her grave is like

• Very fitting, how Constantine's proposal to Eleanor happens in the hedge maze, very much like Liam's first declaration of love in Book 1.

• If you're married to Liam, you get an extra letter that's addressed to Liam's future wife. She clearly knew her days were to be numbered by the time she gave birth to that second child at least.

• Lmao @ how the team somehow managed to remember that Eleanor would have been Leo's stepmother too. He's mentioned a couple of times. They didn't have enough time to develop a sprite for young!Leo but somehow had all the time and resources to make one for young!Savannah who had literally no purpose in Drake's flashback scene? Hmm. Hmm.

• They somehow manage to find the twin to the RoE MC's gifted goblet that Godfrey gave Eleanor the night she died, and Liam reveals that he's been obsessed with poisons enough to know that it wasn't the drink that was poisoned, it was the cup itself. Everyone is shook.

• Love that extra little detail about Liam's obsession with learning about poisons and how it's a sign of how deeply Eleanor's death affected him. But tell me honestly if you remember this plot point coming up even once before in any significant way. Even during the one time a person is poisoned in the previous book (by the laws of karma, the victim in this instance is Godfrey's only daughter) Liam shows very few signs of this "obsession". At a time when he has also lost a father. Convenient how something that could have added more depth to Liam is kept aside until there's a scene where his knowledge is required. Convenient indeed.

• I kind of understand why Liam acts on impulse, okay. The man just discovered who murdered his mum, at least some amount of irrationality is allowed (esp considering he hardly got to express ANYTHING when his goddamn father died). But you'd think Liam's friends would hold him back and help him think this through? Convince him that there are more effective ways to confront and get a confession out of Godfrey who after is in charge of security at the moment? You seriously think charging into the ballroom and suddenly stripping this man of his titles is going to actually work??? You couldn't figure out how to make him vulnerable instead so that he wouldn't be able to escape???

• I mean like, sure, one could always rationalize it all as "well see Lizzy, they needed a dramatic end to this story and they needed to wrap this mystery up quick". But there were other ways they could have spread it out than make it all sound so...so random. And you bet we all know why the narrative had to scramble around last minute to solve this. It's because we spend half the damn book in a dilapidated ranch with a shit family!

• Anyway, Godfrey escapes...and the MC tells her spouse that she's going into labour after...two contractions? Um. Okay.

• So. That ends Book 1 of this new series. And with it my QTs, for this series at least. My QTs for Book 1 (the OG, not the rewrite) might continue, but I'd need to repeat my failplay again because I lost most of those screenshots 😭

General Thoughts on the Book:

• So far, this is what I can see as happening in the next book:

- The birth, obviously

- Any extra perks from our purchases (ie. the nursery and the garden)

- Subplots involving the LIs' conflicts regarding parenthood and their own childhoods

- The mystery behind Eleanor's death isn't quite over yet, nor is the truth behind the constant paparazzi presence in TRH. Leona was the scapegoat this time around, but how did Amalas get all this information so quickly?

- Where is Eleanor's other child? Olivia's investigations may or may not lead to that answer. I'm pretty sure Jin might be involved as well.

- Another possibility is that Madeleine may give us important information since she was potentially aware that Eleanor was pregnant at the time.

- The mystery behind Jackson's death and what he knew regarding Eleanor's condition.

- What part did Bartie Sr have to play in all this? How involved was Constantine in the murder (if in fact he was)? What more dark secrets will we learn about Constantine, Godfrey and Bartie Sr during this time? What ultimately caused the breakdown in Constantine and Jackson's relationship, since Drake mentions Jackson being around when Regina was Queen as well?

- Speaking of Regina, how involved was she in any of this? We know she was Godfrey's cousin-in-law and Bartie Sr made a comment on her during the announcement about the heir, and that she married Constantine a couple years after Eleanor's death, but was she aware of any of this or was she largely out of the major plot and brought in later to cement Godfrey's position and power?

- I'd mention the possibility that Lorelai could know something, but they didn't really give anyone connected to Hana any time at all, so I have my doubts.

- Operation Swan, and possibly a visit to Monterisso. Liam's younger sibling must be in one of these places but my guess is on Monterisso.

- I'm guessing the team will write a nice wedding for Penelope and Ezekiel next book, while Kiara continues to get scraps from the same team.

- Drake and Olivia will continue to eat into the plot. Madeleine will join this unholy trinity as well because they've set the stage for her to have plenty of angst.

With that over, these were my thoughts once this book was finished:

WHERE ARE THE DUCHESSES?

Remember how, back in Book 3, we all marvelled at the number of women in this country who were in positions of power? Adeleide and Emmeline were powerful duchesses while their husbands were secondary figures, and Joelle though married into a noble family is an influential artist and - according to Liam - the embodiment of King Fabian's values. It seemed like, despite the underlying sexism and racism in the story, women were at least at the forefront of Cordonian politics.

This is virtually gone in TRH1. Godfrey (who wasn't even interested in Krona in the first place, much less Cordonia) and Landon (whose only concern seemed to be Penelope, leaving Emmeline to manage the duchy) have a seat in the Council. In fact we never even see either of these woman in the book. I can maybe understand the logic behind not appointing Adeleide, but the fact that Emmeline is passed over for her far-less -qualified husband is a mystery to me!

Also, has anyone noticed how white-male-centered the whole Eleanor story is? Notice how we never see Eleanor's friends, besides Jackson? We never see any of the courtly ladies of that era? She's the Queen. She'd have her own court. I find it impossible that Eleanor would have no interactions of importance among her own goddamned court, that Joelle, Emmeline or Adeleide wouldn't even be mentioned in her story thus far. It's fascinating that forget being part of her story - these women are largely forgotten in the book itself.

(Note: It's also important to add that none of Kiara's family - besides Zeke - makes an appearance this book. At all. One member of Penelope's family and one member of Madeleine's family is in the council, but we never really see or hear anything from Kiara's, even though Hakim was Constantine's old friend and Joelle could have easily been connected to Eleanor, given that Eleanor was exactly the kind of ruler Joelle would have loved and respected.

While we're on that subject, Lorelai could have been connected to Eleanor as well - considering that we know next to nothing about her years in Shanghai. There were ways Hana's story could have been tied into the overall plot as well that were largely ignored. The fact that both the main and secondary WOCs presented opportunities for better plot and story, and despite that they were largely ignored in the books...I think that says a lot. But I will get into more of that in detail in a different section).

LI SPACE AND STORY

• Now...as we all know, The TRR/TRH series is primarily a romance-focused book first, with an underlying plot about royalty and politics. So it makes sense to evaluate the book based on what it gives its love interests. That includes the number of scenes they get, and the kind of focus their story is given. So...here's the rundown of how that goes in TRH Book 1:

Liam: Overall, not too bad. He gets one individual scene, a free and paywalled childhood scene (though the free one is essential for the group's realization of who killed Eleanor). The letter his mother writes to Liam includes an extra section towards the end, meant for the MC who marries him. However, we must note that a lot of this "attention" was thrust into the very final chapter of this book, and 99% of the same book didn't exactly make an attempt to explore his inner thoughts on anything - his mother's death, the dealings with the foreign countries, his political activities. Eleanor being pregnant came from a scene that made Olivia the center of attention, the MC had the opportunity to ask him how he was feeling only once or twice, and most of the time the narrative relegated it all to "the matter is still being investigated". It's a slight improvement from the absolute lack of concern the MC and the narrative showed about Liam's emotional state post his father's death in Book 3, but not much.

Variations wise, the team did step up on the basic ones for most of the LIs, so clearly we've moved past the days of seeing cut-paste scenes and the likes of Liam and Hana saying "I'm so dumb in love with you". However, in playthroughs where the MC is Liam's wife and Queen of Cordonia, her lack of genuine concern for her country and lack of curiosity about the place she's ruling, sticks out like a sore thumb. The fandom loves to highlight how the plot is "written for Liam" or is "easier in Liam's playthrough", but besides his own child being the heir, nothing else from Book 3 onwards seems like it was particularly written with him in mind.

Drake: Hoo boy. So 2019 was clearly the year that many people didn't believe me about Drake eating up space, and the year they had to eat their words because in TRH it was too obvious to be ignored. On an overall scale you cannot avoid the extra perks even his LI scenes got - his Valtoria scene in Chapter 4 was longer, set in a different place and he was allowed to expand on his decision to say yes to Liam's request in a way Hana and Maxwell never were. We learned way more about his familial relationships and dynamics than all the LIs combined. His childhood scene was the first to be given variants depending on whether the MC was his wife or not. His sister's wedding takes up almost half the book, leaving little to no space for either the intrigue, or even the pregnancy that was supposed to be THE most important part of the book.

An insane amount of retconning was done to emphasize strongly on the "marshmallow" part of his personality, having him state time and again that for the MC he can even "sport a tutu if you said you had a thing for the Sugar Fairy". Part of these changes could be attributed to the backlash the team got for having him call a pink cake "girly".

There is a strong possibility that Jackson might be explored further in the second book, and it's no surprise considering that he's the one parent that is most talked about in the series. The book looks like it was truly written with Drake in mind, with a heavy dose of Olivia, and everyone else was added as a bit of an afterthought.

Maxwell: Pretty awful treatment for a character that the head writer of the team claims to like. He has no individual character scenes, and one childhood scene where his older brother Bertrand is given more focus. Ironically, Maxwell was more wary of Bartie Sr in TRR Book 2 than Bertrand was, but somehow they changed this little detail so that Maxwell could be written out of his own story.

His LI scenes were also not given much effort - some were badly written, and some scenes (like the free ones) showed little to no variations between the friendly and romantic playthroughs. One that comes to mind is the baby announcement photoshoot, which was so poorly done it added nothing of value to the character or the relationship.

Like the last book, Maxwell isn't allowed much development in TRH1, and he's still forced into a largely "court jester" role in the story. This reflects very poorly on him in certain situations, such as the chapter where we finally get glimpses of his book. The aim was to be humourous and light about the events of the series, but he comes out of it sounding thoroughly insensitive towards his friends, none of whose consent he took to write this self-centered pile of garbage.

However, there is hope that they might do things a bit better for him next book, if the rewrite of him in TRR 2.0 was anything to go by. However, it would be awful if they tried to do a better job of him and then left out Hana. Speaking of which...

Hana: I'm going to begin this section with a comparison to another character, someone who should have been treated as a secondary character - Olivia.

Olivia in this book has 2 character scenes (they're very plot driven, but they also explore her outside of her friendship with the MC and dynamic with the group). The spy scene with Auvernese royalty, and the scene with Jin, the Auvernese spy. An entire chapter is spent in her duchy (by now we've seen Lythikos four times and I'm now sick of the place), and she winds up taking over Maxwell's Q&A scene as well.

So that's technically 2.5 scenes AND a childhood scene that revolves around her even though it's about Liam's mother. In addition to this, Olivia also gets her own mini-book, The Royal Holiday, that revolves (again) around her duchy and has the group clamouring to give her attention when no one else wants to.

Here are the stats for Hana, who by virtue of being an LI, is also a potential co-protagonist in the series:

Nothing.

Zilch. Zip. Zero. Nada. Nothing.

She has one childhood scene that is part of the group's scenes - a beautiful, heartbreaking one that serves as a slap in the face to anyone who'd dared to be dismissive of what she went through earlier - but none after that, and no individual scenes either. The team - in one of their most offensive choices this book - force a storyline where she has fertility issues just so the MC can be the one carrying the child, and the same MC can opt(!!) to ask about her well-being after two days. The same MC has the chance to whine about not getting pregnant soon enough in front of Hana.

There have been a few efforts made to make the MC appear more caring towards Hana: she can angrily defend Hana against Isabella's jibes, and she can make Hana relax for once during the baby shower (unlike the wedding reception where the same MC treated her like a bridesmaid). The MC even gets to tell her wife that she should never consider herself secondary or unimportant.

All of these are nice, but at the end of the day they're all scraps. I'd equate it to how we're allowed to give Kiara compliments on the final two chapters, but the white women around her still get a far bigger chunk of space, story and attention dedicated to them. The team have a pattern of adding these tiny tidbits that will temporarily satisfy stans while still maintaining the status quo, and that's precisely what's happening here. Its important for us to understand this. Underneath all this surface concern and all these scraps, Hana is still getting dust in place of actual story and characterization. And given that they made ZERO major changes to Hana's scenes in TRR 2.0, I'm not expecting that to change.

As for the book in general...I don't have to go into why this book is a mess, do I? We all know. We've all witnessed how disproportionate the writing has been and while I'm glad more and more people recognize what I've been seeing since Book 3, it's sad that it took 9 whole chapters in Walker Ranch for so many to understand exactly how much space Drake has been eating up for no good reason.

BLACK HOLES AND WHITE TEARS

I'll begin this section by talking about Drake Walker. He's the most prominent sign of the larger problem.

Drake Walker is what I call a Black Hole LI. And yes I mean black hole as in the one that exists in space (Beckett from TE also fits into this category). He is the kind of LI that sucks up everything. Love. Light. Joy. Common sense. Other characters' spaces.

He is the kind of love interest that will have Liam's traumatic experience centered around him. The kind of love interest for whose problems - largely created by his mammoth ego - we have to resolve in Shanghai, the home of the lone female LI. While that same female LI gets nothing, and then disappears in a subsequent chapter. The kind of love interest whose love confession can take precedence even over the MC's own issues (remember the Beaumont House chapter in Book 1? The one that took place the day after Tariq nonconsensually kissed the MC? 98% of the dialogue revolved around Drake's feelings. Not about the faulty lock, not the possibility that the MC's security had been tampered with - Drake's feelings). The kind of love interest that was given an entire extra wedding and artwork for his mother in Book 3 itself - none of which were given to any other LI.

A Black Hole LI is totally the kind of LI that would get 9 whole chapters in their home while we have never even visited the homes of the others since the early books of the previous series.

This wasn't something that began just this book. It's been a constant since Book 2, and you can even see signs of his story gaining way more importance in Book 1. It's also not something we can - in all honesty - blame simply on finances and fan popularity: the writers confirmed Drake to be one of their favourites, and attempts to give his scenes additional perks (eg plot elements pushed into both the Whiskey scene and the Beaumont Office scene) happened long before they could make any conclusions about his popularity. I bought the Beaumont Office scene to find out more about that family. I bought the Marshmallow scene so I could find out more about Liam and Hana's conversation post Coronation (remember - Hana was never even allowed to speak about her return to Cordonia because that scene was given to Drake). I bought the Italian Restaurant scene to learn more about Liam's assassination. The funny thing about all these three is that these were their stories to tell, yet Drake is the focus. Quite a few of Drake's initial scenes sold because the team consistently made the effort, consistently ensured that the information from his scenes would benefit us in the long run. The narrative allowed for Drake to have his own story, and additionally let aspects of his story overshadow that of the other LIs' (see the examples I've given above). Even though he has very little of value to contribute to the larger story (no job, his friendships are shallower than a wash-basin, and no genuine communication with any commoner in the story - only endless whining).

The treatment Drake gets that no other LI does, is a problem in itself, but it also is a small part of an even bigger issue. He isn't the only white character who gets this sort of attention and detail to his story.

Take Olivia, for example. Started out as a rival to the MC, before her sad sad childhood and her genuine love for Liam was revealed in the Book 1 finale. Over the course of the story, her role changed from petty rival to Warrior Duchess to reluctant bff. Over the course of the original series, Olivia became one of the most prominent characters in the story, on par with the male LIs. I'm not sure how many people realize that Lythikos is the ONLY duchy in the kingdom we've seen thrice (four times if you count Holiday). To give you an idea of how big a deal that is, here's how many times we've visited other duchies besides the capital and Applewood:

Fydelia - 2

Portavira - 1

Castelserraillian - 1

Ramsford (the home of our sponsors!) - 1

Hana's mother's home - Never.

Lythikos has a detailed familial and cultural history, and I wouldn't be lying if I said we know more about this one region than we know about the entire country of Cordonia. And honestly for me, the obsession with this one duchy has reached saturation point. Lythikos is not Cordonia. Lythikos is not all there is to Cordonia or even the only place that should matter. Yet it seems the team is more than eager to flog that horse until there's nothing of interest left.

Olivia is the only character who gets an entire mini book that revolves around comforting her and making her feel better about her background and origins. I don't think we've ever given Hana this much attention when she left her home for us. Or when she was being bullied by Madeleine. Or when she was the other bride in that grand wedding. Or when we received the news that carrying a child to term would be dangerous for her body. Or --

We were given an entire mini-book to comfort Olivia - the woman who continued to call Hana "damaged goods" and " a failure" for not marrying a man, while Hana's friend/wife stood by and watched. The woman who didn't have to think twice before making snide remarks about an equally skilled courtier who never did her any harm, only because she could get away with it. Istg when I heard that most of the court snubbed her during that first event in Holiday, this was my reaction:

Like girl I feel bad for you but at least now you know how it feels to be held responsible for shit beyond your control!

Hana, in the meantime, is forced time and again into situations that would break most people - but with very little payoff. Her arc with her parents was given a resolution that confirmed that Hana could only be considered worthy if she was useful. She was made to interact time and again with the woman who harmed her with such glee in Book 2. The MC - as a friend or as a wife - is at best neglectful of her issues and at worst someone who uses and discards Hana as she sees fit. And now...in her romantic playthrough she's given a storyline that doesn't allow her to bear children easily, and the MC spends less than two minutes to actually check on her. Hana is one of the co-protagonists, yet a side character given the treatment she should be getting. One could technically blame finances for the way she's being treated too, but keep in mind that the bad treatment goes as far back as the Applewood chapters in Book 1. Technically a time when she was bringing in money.

I get it. Olivia is a fan favourite. Many in the fandom wanted her to be an LI, the writers didn't, so they carved out this middle path where she'd have a major portion of the story anyway. But keep in mind that a lot of this attention came - and is still coming - at the cost of Hana. The team pretty much gave Olivia what they'd been refusing to give Hana all along.

On a smaller scale, you see similar patterns with the secondary characters - especially the women of the court. Madeleine and Penelope had elaborate backstories designed to make people forgive and sympathize with them, and Kiara - even though her backstory in Book 1 was inherently tragic and deserved to be handled sensitively - was given validation with great reluctance from the team, and with no consequences if we treated her cruelly. Even now, the team has only tossed Kiara a couple of scraps in the final chapter, while already setting the stage for Madeleine to get her own tragic "patriotism" arc for TRH Book 2, and a possible wedding for Penelope in the near future.

The difference here doesn't just lie in who gets attention and who doesn't. It lies in how the MC is supposed to view these women as well. A lot more sympathy and understanding is automatically extended to the white women, and the MC faces consequences if she fails to acknowledge their pain. Far less sympathy is offered by default to the black and the Asian woman - the MC may be friends with Hana but a huge chunk of their relationship is mostly about the MC benefiting from Hana's skills without giving much in return.

Even though their misdeeds are acknowledged and spoken about, both Madeleine and Penelope are written in such a way that the problems they're currently facing matter more than anything they've ever done in the past. Hana is made to sweet-talk Madeleine despite being bullied by her in a previous book. The MC herself never gets ANY opportunity to directly address what Penelope put her through in Portavira, because what the MC went through matters less than Penelope's condition.

Compare this to the relatively small scale of Kiara's "misdeed" (being honest about not continuing with an alliance - I'm surprised people think this is an actual thing to be offended about!), and the way the MC is allowed to mistreat her sans consequences afterwards. We're even allowed to call Kiara a snob in the books - which isn't at all true if you look at any of her scenes in canon - and constantly make fun of her desire to learn (in fact, if anyone in the series could be called a snob, it would be Olivia). If I were to sum up how a woman of colour is spoken about in the books, vs a white woman - this screenshot would do the trick:

(Notice how none of the options to speak about Penelope allow us to speak rudely of her, yet in Kiara's case we're allowed to make judgements on her as a person. In Hana's case, while we don't exactly drag her the way we can drag Kiara - we get precious few opportunities to actually defend or support her when others talk rubbish about her).

When you explore the series overall, it's impossible to ignore the casual racism that makes disrespecting people of a certain race/colour easier than on another. It's impossible not to see where the narrative chooses to give consequences to an MC who treats a white woman badly, and where it allows the very same MC to suspect, and then (optionally) gaslight, a woman of colour a couple chapters later. It's impossible not to see which people are meant to be respected despite their bad behaviour, and which people can still be treated badly despite their better behaviour. It's impossible not to see a pattern emerging.

This is not even a problem that plagues only the TRR series. From TCaTF to ACOR to Platinum to even MoTY, there is an ongoing pattern of discrepancies between the way white people and people of colour - particularly women - are treated. Many POC characters are placed in situations where it's easier for them to suffer/die/be shown disrespect, than it is to show them kindness or mercy. MOC are regularly either exoticized (Prince Hamid is the most glaring example of this) or placed in very traumatic situations for which the payoff isn't always going to be that great (I know this happens to Dallas, but I don't know about the payoff for Syphax).

WOC particularly suffer quite a bit in a lot of PB novels, in comparison to their white counterparts. Rowan Thorne of TCaTF, as a character, didn't deserve for her death to be made easier than her survival (in contrast to Diavolos, who was given far more opportunities AND will live simply by virtue of allying with Kenna), any more than Kiara deserved to be interrogated by the people who should have been concerned for her safety or Xanthe deserved to be shipped to slavery. All this, while a Vanessa (who is in a position of power and who plays an active role in rendering the MOTY MC financially helpless) gets a diamond scene where she "explains" her situation and a Madeleine doesn't even have to hear about her bullying from her victims.

The fandom, too, has contributed to this on a number of occasions. Speaking specifically of TRR, how many times have we seen Hana being dragged on Olivia posts? (also, if we were really measuring Olivia by the impossible standards that we held for Hana's characterization, Olivia would appear pretty damn one-note too: after all, 80% of her characterization consists of knife jokes). How many times was Hana being looked at with disdain for either her niceness or the poor writing for her, while the same fandom would regularly coo over a nice-presenting Penelope (whose characterization is one of the most inconsistent in the series)? How many times have we seen Kiara being called a creep/obsessed for merely looking at a man, while almost no one judges Olivia for kissing a man without his consent? How many times have people forgiven a traitorous Penelope and hated on a far more innocent Kiara in the same breath? How often did the fandom hate on Liam for accepting the MC's advances after she rejected him, yet not say a word when Drake did the same thing? How many times has Maxwell been loved for his humour and childlike nature while people of colour with a similar personality (Lily from Bloodbound, for example) were hated on instantly? Clearly, there have been more instances of people in the fandom sympathizing automatically with the white character, than with characters of colour. Time and again, brown and black characters - particularly women - have been required to match up to impossible standards (if they're nice they're boring. If they don't like the MC they're <insert every gendered sexist insult you can think of here>). The standards are far more relaxed for white characters, and they're often given more breathing room and to most of what they want without the constant judgement that black and brown women get. The standards set up for both are grossly different.

Racism is a beast that assumes many forms - and not all forms of racism will appear obvious to some, especially when such stereotypes are so normalized in media and popular fiction that we almost accept it at first. Almost. To get to the root of why there's such an imbalance in this series - among others - we need to first acknowledge the sexism and racism that are such a vital part of its narrative, and that its fandom regularly buys into and (sometimes unwittingly) promotes.

At this point, it's important to understand that having queer characters or characters of colour simply exist in the books isn't enough. Token rep can be found in PB's books by the dozens, but at the end of the day it means nothing if there is a constant reluctance, over and over and over, to treat those characters with the same care and sensitivity that they treat their white ones (or their "exoticized brown" ones).

• Like I mentioned earlier, I won't be playing TRH from this point forward, but I do hope to finish my TRR QTs soon. I have a LOT of thoughts! If you'd like to be tagged on those, do tell me!

[dayasbun]

Are you going to write a fic based off her fine ass in that suit? Because I think a story where you meet her at that event and she has the strap READY for you but when it comes to pleasuring her she’s actually baby— would be Fire! Ooo chile that suit is suit has me in a full blown gay panic and I’ll never get over it!!

I 100% feel you, she literally wore that suit a few days ago and I’m STILL drooling over it every moment of every day- anyway, really love this concept! I hope I wrote it how you wanted!!

{this is quite long by the way}

I interpreted a bit differently than, what you said…I saw it as the sexual tension is so much that you guys kind of had to let it out, while ending with a soft relationship beginning to form from the sexual encounter. So that’s what I tried to write..ah I hope you still like it!!!

{also to everyone reading this, there’s another Zendaya fic in the suit coming up as well, if you thought I was only doing one then…you clearly don’t know me very well}

-

“Do you remember when we met?” Z asked you quietly, her head in your lap as you fed her chocolate cranberries.

“How could I forget! And remember what happened after we met?” You teased, wiggling your eyebrows.

“I do!… I think about it a lot actually…”

3 Y E A R S EARLIER…

You’d always had a woman-crush on Zendaya, but to be quite honest everyone did. So the news of her being at an event that you were invited to excited you more than anything. You’d finally have a possible opportunity to meet her, and that made your heart flutter to unbelievable heights. You could already picture her in the most gorgeous dress you had ever seen, a smile planted on her full lips and her eyes sparkling.

These were the times you loved your fame, the times you were able to in a way ‘use it’ to see/meet amazing people like her. As you waited for your makeup to be completed, you thought over all of the possibilities of what could happen tonight. Of course, there was always the chance that you two wouldn’t even cross paths, but you didn’t think fate would do you dirty like that.

Time passed by and soon enough you had arrived at the event. You took a few photos on the red carpet, did some interviews, and greeted some fans. You hadn’t spotted her yet- rumors said she wasn’t there yet, and they were probably right. When Zendaya of all people shows up, everyone knows.

In the middle of an interview where you just happened to be stating some of your celebrity crushes, you heard sudden screams from the right side of you. Chants from fans began to rise of someone’s name.

“Zendaya- Zendaya! Oh my god, I love you- Z! Z!”

Your head quickly turned in that direction, your eyes scanning over the crowd and the red carpet for the woman whose name you were hearing.

Now look, usually when it came to attractive people, even people as gorgeous as Daya, you stayed quite level headed. You didn’t tend to feel over the top about them or feel the constant need to lunge yourself towards them.

But holy fuck- this was different.

Zendaya walked in with a smirk planted on her lips, in a fucking suit.

I repeat, a fucking suit.

It was most definitely not the ‘dress’ you were expecting, but you had zero complaints whatsoever. The way she walked onto the carpet made everyone scream, shit you were ready to scream yourself. You couldn’t seem to take your eyes away from her, the way she carried herself, the way she walked. You’d never seen a woman pull off a suit like that, and at this point, you were quite convinced Zendaya could wear literally anything.

Quickly finishing up the interview, you were told to take more photos, conveniently placed next to Z. As you made your way back to the center of the carpet, you could feel the energy from her making its way over to you. To say that it was ‘horny energy’ would sound stupid- like really stupid. But honestly, that was the only way you could describe it.

You avoided looking over at her because if you two made eye contact, you had no idea what the fuck you would do- freeze up? Maybe. Pass out? Definitely a possibility.

As you smiled for the cameras, jokingly blowing kisses and doing little poses, you could feel her watching you. Finally, you got up enough courage to look over at her, and your eyes immediately met.

She looked you up and down, and you just knew the cameras got a picture of that. To your surprise, she walked over to you and grinned. “You wanna take some pictures together?” she questioned innocently. There was no way in hell you were going to say no, so you nodded.

“What’s your name?” She muttered as the pictures were being taken.

“Y/N. What’s yours?” you teased.

She chuckled a bit. “Nice to meet you Y/N. You look good tonight.”

“You look good too. Digging the suit for sure. It makes you look dominant in a way.”

“Oh, you have no idea.”

Your heart skipped a few beats as you felt her hand lower from your back to your lower region. Clearing your throat you focused on the cameras and tried to ignore the motion of Zendaya’s hand.

A few moments later her management yanked her away, but not before a quick whisper from her in your ear which simply stated, “I want you to meet me outside in exactly 20 minutes.”

+

19 minutes had passed, there was just 1 minute left to wait now.

Excusing yourself to the bathroom, you began to make your way to the side doors. Walking out into the fairly chilly weather; after all, it was somewhere around 11- you shivered a bit as you waited. Sure enough, just a few seconds later the door creaked, and there she was.

“You actually came. I’m surprised,” she said walking over to you and standing nearby “I expected you to pussy out.”

“Something you should know about me is that I’m no pussy.”

“That’s unfortunate to hear, Y/N.”

“And why is that?”

“You know what they say, you are what you eat.”

You practically choked at that statement, your eyes widening as you looked at the ground.

“So let’s get out of here.”

“I can’t jus-”

She was already walking away, so you groaned and in-a-way-reluctantly-but-not-really-reluctant-at-all, you followed her.

You two sat in her limo in silence, you on one side and her on the other.

“So how was your night?” Zendaya asked softly, looking over at you which caused you to smile a bit. She pulled out a hair tie and put her hair into a high ponytail, a foreshadowing to the events that would occur in just a few minutes,

“Very rushed. All do this, do that. I’m actually glad I’m out of there.” You chuckled. “I never really like those types of events, but I had a reason to come to this one.”

“Hm, a reason? Which was?”

“You would be here.”

She bit her lip grinning, which was a habit of something she did when she flattered or feeling shy. “Stop it!!”

“That honestly was the only reason! And look at us now, I have no regrets.”

“Come here.”

You did as she said {you always seemed to immediately do whatever she wanted you to} and sat by her. “We’re going to my place…” She stated as she placed a hand on your thigh “But my place is quite the hike away from where the party was held, it’ll take at least an hour.”

“Y-yeah?”

“Mhm. And I don’t know if I can wait that long for you- I don’t know if I can wait that long to taste you.” Her hand began to slowly move up, causing your breath to hitch.

“Then taste me now…” you muttered, looking into her eyes.

“That’s all I wanted to hear.”

Z crashed her lips against yours, her hand now resting against your crotch. You moaned due to the little contact and the fact you wanted and craved so much more from her. She began to rub at the fabric of your panties, giving your area a bit of friction. “Fuck Daya…I need more of you- please.” You begged, crawling into her lap and wrapping your arms around her neck. You pulled off her suit coat quickly and yanked at her tie, kissing her messily and begging for more with your tongue.

She smirked as she listened to you moan for her with such desperation. She took no time pulling your panties down and laying you down on the seat of the limo. Thankfully do to the caliber of the limo she had chosen, it was spacious with plenty of room. Though the windows were tinted, you didn’t think it was soundproof- so the driver was most likely getting quite the earful- but with how you were feeling right now, you didn’t give one fuck.

Zendaya softly pulled off your dress leaving you in only your bra, She spread your legs and admired your dripping wetness which was all for her, and only for her.

“Like what you see?” You giggled biting your lip. She nodded as she licked her lips. And before you knew it, she was eating you the fuck out and it felt like heaven. Grabbing onto her hair you groaned and moaned, pushing her head in more so she could eat as much as she pleased. You squirmed with pleasure, soon tightening your legs around her head to keep her secure and in place.

You felt as though you were going to explode, and you loved it. Your body shook furiously as you reached your first orgasm, screams and high pitched moans escaping from your throat. You let out a breath thinking Z would stop there, but you were most definitely wrong. The woman didn’t let up at all and continued to eat you out until you were on the brink of orgasm number 5.

Sitting up with a wet face, she smiled at you with a mischevious look in her eye.

You unsuccessfully tried to sit up, completely tired and drained from the events that had just occurred. “Th-that was a lot-”

“Oh did you think I was done? Baby, that was just a warm-up.” She replied as she unbuttoned her shirt. As she slowly began to take off every piece of the outfit she had worn, you looked at her closely and took in the long drink of water which was her stunning body. You began to actually comprehend how blessed you were to even be in this situation- what was this a fanfiction or something? Her skin looked almost edible, it was so smooth and perfectly pigmented. She stopped once she was in absolutely nothing, leaving her completely unclothed and vulnerable in front of you.

You watched her with wide eyes as she suddenly reached under the seat and felt around. You wondered what she was looking for, what would she keep in the limo under a seat?

Soon enough he stopped searching and pulled out a shoebox. You watched curiously as she pulled out a velvet bag which clearly held something inside of it. Reaching inside of the bag, she took hold of something and pulled it out- ah, of course it was a strap. You weren’t too surprised, she seemed like the type that would keep a strap in her car for ‘just in case situations’.

As though she could read your mind, she looked at you with a flushed face “It’s just for…for like just in case. You never know what’s gonna happen!”

You grinned and rolled your eyes playfully. She sat the strap on the side of you and got over you.”Before that, I want to do something else first, sit up.”

You did, still dripping, now with a mix of excitement running through as well. Fuck, you couldn’t wait to find out exactly what Z was going to do with you. You felt so submissive like she completely owned you right now, and you loved it. Your complete focus was on her, she unknowingly controlled you with every move she made.

She adjusted you two in a quite confusing position, and for a moment you weren’t sure what she was doing exactly- that was until she started grinding her hips slowly, and that’s when you realized that you two were about to trib.

You had never done it before, but you had always wanted to- and what better first time than this, right?

You let out heavy breaths as you began to move along with her. It was such a euphoric feeling, the feeling of you two having parts so intimate against each other- the pleasure being so surreal and orgasmic. This was your favorite type of sexual pleasure, you decided at that moment that this was the best thing you had ever felt in your entire life.

As you two moved, you both got wetter and even closer to letting out. The thought of Daya letting out all over your pussy made you shudder in the best possible way. You moved against her more intensely as you felt her wetness began to morphe into yours, fuck it was just so unexplainably hot. A few moments later both of your moans began to turn into screams as you let out simultaneously. The feeling of Z’s release all over you caused you to just let out more, and she did the same.

You almost felt intoxicated from the amount of pleasure you were feeling at once, your eyes rolled back into your head and your body feeling limp. And god, it wasn’t even over yet. Zendaya sat up breathlessly, grabbing the strap and fumbling to weakly put it on. She smeared her own wetness on the sexual tool as lubrication, and was then ready to go. You assumed that with how tired you both were, that the movement of the strap would be a bit on the slower side.

Wrong!

She gave you a look to make sure it was okay to move and that you were ready, and you immediately nodded with zero hesitation.

She began sliding into you with the thick strap and you let out a loud squeal. Keeping eye contact with her you bit your lip hard, your eyes beginning to tear up- but in the best possible way. “You okay?” she asked in the softest voice she’d used all night. You nodded as you dug your nails into her back and closed your eyes, letting the pleasure completely take over you. You orgasmed yet again- what was this, the 8th time for fucks sake?

You calmed down as she pulled out and took it off. “I didn’t want to overdo it, I could tell you were tired out and honestly so am I.” She said with a soft smile as she took her hair out of its ponytail.

“You know what’s crazy?” you said lazily as you hooked your bra together- which you had never even recalled Z taking off.

“What?”

“I’m bisexual right? And that’s the best sex I’ve ever had in my life- that beats all women I’ve had sex with and all of the men- I mean my body count is kinda low but holy shit…”

The actress smiled with a bit of pride as she put on her suit again, but decided on leaving off the tie. “Yeah, that was some good ass sex. Like that really went on for an hour and a half-”

“What?! How are we not at your house yet?”

“We are, we’ve been parked for a while.”

You gasped and then just laughed, “Time just flies by when you’re having sex with Zendaya Coleman.”

“I could say the same for you Ms.Y/F/N Y/L/N.”

“So we should probably go in.” You stated after you both were clothed. Daya nodded in response and stretched. “Good idea…how do cuddles, hot chocolate, and banana bread sound?”

“That sounds godly, I accept!”

She chuckled getting out of the car and taking your hand. Though you struggled to walk, you still could- despite it looking a little funny. Z thanked the driver before you two rushed into the gorgeous home.

3 Y E A R S LATER…

“Cuddles, hot cocoa, and banana bread were exactly what I got too!” You said dreamily, reminiscing on the night that had completely changed your life for the better.

“Mhm, I had just made the bread and was so proud of it- I remember you called it good and my heart just completely melted!”

You leaned down kissing your girlf- I’m sorry, your fiance’s nose. “God, Z. I just love and adore how everything turned out- how we turned out. Together, all engaged and everything…doesn’t even seem real how perfect everything is.”

“Me too, Almost like a fairytale.”

“Almost.”

“Almost.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[felix-tee]

atlas wept | felix + costin

@cvnstantin​

felix-tee‌:

Oh, obviously, [he says with a delicate laugh—though the response is rehearsed, and not necessarily true. He’s never been confident in who his true friends are—but he’s also never learned how to put other people before himself, and so he’s never made it much of a priority to earn them. Actually, it’s always sort of blown his mind that he has to earn them at all. That his beauty and fame and blanket popularity isn’t enough to do all the hard work. 

But as it turns out, he’d had plenty of fans and followers and admirers who’d liked to call him a friend so they could name drop at parties and feel important or impressive—but somehow, it didn’t matter how many hundreds of people had come to his birthday parties, he’d always ended the night feeling alone—whether someone had shared his bed with him or not.

So he’d learned not to need them. The good things friends bring, fans can bring too. And the bad things friends bring, well—fans don’t come with those. There’s no sense of responsibility, no petty fights, no hurt feelings or betrayal or broken hearts—except the hearts of his various admirers who’d give anything to sleep with or court him, or both. ] I had plenty of good friends. Though I’ll be honest, people I modelled with became sort of my more constant social circle—it’s hard to make time for friends outside of the lifestyle, when you’re as busy as I was. I was hardly ever home, so it was hard to stay in touch with childhood friends. [And no one had really cared to try. He’d had admirers in grade school, not true friends, really. So in many ways, that had been a constant reality for him. It’d made the transition smoother, at least. He was used to being isolated by his popularity. 

It’s okay, [he says, his smile still easy—he genuinely does like talking to Constin so far. He’s charming and innocent seeming, and there’s something very soothing about his voice, and the way he mispronounces the ‘w’s. Like a simple, foreign old man hanging around a museum. A sweet little bloke, with a heart of gold—and whom Felix would totally let fuck him so long as he let Fee clean him up a bit first. Not that that’s Fee’s intention at all right now. It’s just really nice to have someone pay him so much attention. He really does feel like a cat, all of a sudden. Pleased and purring to have all the focus on him.] 

You’re not asking too many questions. I actually quite like questions. [And talking about himself.] I’m used to it anyway. It’s almost comforting, these days. 

[It’s a good thing Fee likes being asked questions, because Constantin enjoys asking them. It’s refreshing to focus on someone else for a little while, to think about someone else’s life. The last couple of months have been heavily focused on Constantin recovering, which naturally means discussing a lot of the same details again and again. He’s tired of his broken body. He’s tired of his harrowed mind.

Better to inhabit the mind of a bright, playful kitten for a little while.] 

It is very hard work then, if you never go home and cannot speak vith friends so often? I thought I vork very hard vith  Agenţia Spaţială Română, but I still go home every night and see my cat, and go to dinner vith friends. Until they send me up, of course. But if I am being honest vith you, I alvays think modelling seem easy. Just look pretty and make nice face for camera, no? It is more difficult than I believe?

[It’s not that he’s ever thought models must be dumb or anything, it just seems so… straightforward. Can’t anyone smile for the camera if they’re pretty enough? He’s not asking to be rude, he is truly curious. It doesn’t occur to him that it takes hard work to learn your angles, and how to work with the light, and the social skills it takes to work with the photographers and designers, and the hundred other things that make modelling a job that not just anyone could do.]

[It’s a sensitive chord to pluck at with Felix, because it’s one that’s been tugged at so many times before, by so many people. And yeah, duh, it’s totally insulting. Even before he’d started modelling, he’d never imagined it’d be easy, necessarily. He’d always sort of been dazzled by the job, and assumed there was a lot to it that he didn’t know or understand but would like to. But when he had started—yes, it’d been harder than even he’d been expecting. And definitely not exclusively as glamorous as people make it out to be. It’s a lot more than that. 

He sighs, but it’s sort of hard to be horribly offended by the suggestion, considering how many times he’s had this conversation before—it’s more irritation, than anything else, and more at the tiredness of the notion, than at the man himself. One look at Constin and it’s clear he knows nothing about modelling anyway. It’s the least Fee can do to educate him a little bit.] 

Honestly, everyone thinks that, and it’s really fucking annoying. Because that’s not what it’s like at all. There’s so much pressure in the job to be perfect, like, all the time. It’s your responsibility to make the clothing look good and the designer look good and the product look good—the magazine, the company, the photographer, everyone. Because as a model, like, if you’re doing a photoshoot, for instance, you need to know what works and what doesn’t, and you need to be able to deliver it fast. They’re paying you a lot of money and everyone else a lot of money, so every minute counts. The photographer is expensive, so is the studio, and the clothes they’re renting, the crew... 

And It’s not just about making a pretty face. You could get a lot of people here who are pretty to look at, but put them in front of a camera and would they know how to take a good picture in six inch heels or sell a million dollar clothing line? Not a chance. As a model, it’s your own responsibility as much as the photographer’s, to make yourself and the line look good—and most people are like, horrifically awkward and don’t know how to use their bodies or their face in a way that actually works. It’s a lot of work. And if you can’t deliver good photos in a short amount of time, you’re fired. It’s stupid easy to get fired, because there’s a million models out there who are biting at the chance to take your job from you, and no one wants to waste their time and money on someone who can’t deliver.  So it’s like, so so important you know your body, and know your audience, and the client. Like, it’s not enough to be ‘just good enough’. You have to be the best every single time, because if you’re not, they will find someone else. 

And then in fashion shows? Oh my God, that’s a whole other thing. Like, usually, there’s like, no time to figure out what you’re wearing and when—changes are stupid fast, outfits are sometimes confusing to put on, or easy to rip or painful to wear and impossible to walk in. And your walk has to be just right. And you have to be noticed and remembered on a stage full of people who are like, the most beautiful people in the world. If people forget you, you’re as good as fired. If they remember you for the wrong thing, like screwing up or tripping? You won’t just be fired, you might never be hired again. Reputation is everything, and it’s so fragile. 

And then, oh my God, other models try to sabotage you all the time and can be really nasty and competitive.... honestly, I could go on. It’s not what everyone thinks it is—besides... no offence or anything... but most people who say that like... either aren’t attractive enough to be a full time model at all, or have never had to work to, like, keep their figure up to standard. It’s kinda cut throat. I’m naturally very lean, and I didn’t have to work hard to look the way I did when I first started out, but you think once I was doing international runways I got to do things like drink or eat pizza or popcorn? No. Of course not. Never. Like... it’s easy for people who aren’t doing it to judge, but it’s really frustrating because maybe I didn’t have to like... go to college or whatever to do it, but I also worked really fucking hard and like... sacrificed a lot, you know? People don’t know. And they criticize, but they’re all just jealous. 

[lofitojii]

Space [I]

Summery: Everything is quite uncertain in this life, who is here to stay who is going to be temporary. He was, by far, the most uncertain. 

Word count: 3.1k

Instagram: lqxpcy

It’s not unusual to fall distant from people when they don’t make that effort in trying to make things work. The sad truth is that most of the people in your life are going to wash away into just a memory. A memory you can look back on, thrive for, and learn from for things that come in the future. Sometimes, you come across someone that will be there, longer than anyone really will be. That person who will be there to take care of you, be that shoulder to lean on, that person that will be that one exception on having them along on your journey.

You two grew up together, right down the street from one another. He would always ride his bike past your house, in hopes to see you playing outside in your front yard which most days, you were. You would tag along with him, playing down by the river with the other two kids that lived on your street, Jongdae and Junmyeon. You would meet by the far bridge ever Saturday, going up to The Cliffs and throwing rocks down to see how far of a jump it would be. It was your little group that made going to school bearable. Junmyeon was a year older than the other three of you, so when middle school came around, it was hard to really plan things with him.

I guess you could say that was the beginning of the end.

The four of you grew distant over the next couple of years with clubs, after school activities, boys falling for girls, you focusing on your school. Every once in awhile, you would get together and do the same things you did when you were younger but that was very rare. When high school came around, it was as if you all were strangers.

That’s when you knew they weren’t going to join you on your journey. That’s when you realized that people come and go and no everyone is going to be around forever and you were at peace with it.

“Hello, earth to Y/n,” your friend shook her hand in front of your face. “Time to return to Earth, space cadet.” You looked up from your book that you were captivated by, looking over at your friend who had sat down next to you. She smiled, closing your book for you and moving it out of the way.

“Could have at least saved my spot,” you said, feeling the pain in your heart after she had closed your book without letting you mark where you were. “What do you want anyways Mina?”

“I can’t come over and talk to my best friend?”

“Sorry,” you mumbled. Mina let out a deep sigh, resting her head in her hand.

“I know you’re stressed about graduation but you gotta get out of this funk.” She was right, you had been in a bit of a mood since everyone got their acceptance letters. You were on your way to Seoul to do your internship for a corporate that had taken you on while you attended the local college there which means you would leave right after you graduated. Change was weird and you weren’t exactly the biggest fan of it. “How about this. Why don’t we go to that guys party tonight?”

“Jongin?” You asked, heart racing. “Why would we go to his party?”

“Because we’re graduating and it’s the last time we will all see each other before we go out and waste our lives away in this cruel world.” Mina was one of those hippie, save the earth kids that was all about sticking it to the man. She also didn’t care what people thought about her and was always making herself the center of attention which wasn’t really your style. “Speak of the devil.” She smirked, looking over your right shoulder at the group of boys that made their way into the classroom.

“Mina stop,” you whispered loudly, tugging on her floral skirt. She ignored your actions, standing to her feet and calling over the group of boys.

“Mina,” Jongin smiled, walking over and taking a seat at your table. “What’s up you guys? You two coming to the party tonight?”

“That’s kind of what we wanted to talk to you about,” she smirked. “Will there be one, booze, two, good music, and three, good food?”

“Always is,” he smiled. Jongin was very popular with everyone in school. As much as you hated to admit it, he was a good person, always being a friend to everyone and anyone he has ever met. You missed hanging out with him every day but then again, you were a kid and he was a new person.

“What time do you leave next week?” Mina asked, starting conversation with Jongin that you weren’t exactly a big fan for.

“My audition is Friday,” he replied. “Junmyeon is coming down and picking up Jongdae and I.”

“SM Entertainment, huh?” Mina laughed. “I hate those kind of things but props to you for doing something with your life.”

“Better than being stuck in this hell hole,” he laughed, scratching the back of his head. You looked up at him, his face just radiating, drawing you in. He looked down at you and smiled in your direction, making you snap your head away from him. “How are you Y/n?”

“Good,” you mumbled quietly to yourself. He looked as if he wanted more than just that one worded answer but in all honesty, you didn’t have anything else to say to him. You always got like this around Jongin, getting nervous and choking on your words. Inside, you wanted to scream out and ask him a whole bunch of questions, catch up with him, just be his friend again but you were nervous. Nervous that he wasn’t the same and if he saw who you really were, he would get bored. So you saved yourself of humiliation and just kept the conversations short.

“Alright class, let’s settle down and take our seats.” You let out a sigh of relief as your teacher walked into the room.

“I’ll see you tonight,” Jongin said, leaving you alone so you could sit there and just process what just happened.

You hadn’t talked to him in so long it was weird when he went out of his way to talk to you. He was on the football team, leader of the debate club, teachers assistant for the dance team of the school. He was someone that was almost perfect in every aspect, everyone throwing themselves at him and you just saw him as… Jongin. Your old friend that you missed every day.

But things change.

After school, Mina followed you home despite your constant begging that she just went home and you would meet up with her later. But Mina was smart and knew that if that happened, you would end up staying home that night, avoiding the party all together. You weren’t one for big social events but I guess you had to start somewhere.

“I don’t know how you haven’t jumped Jongin’s bones yet. That guy lives right down the street from you, for one. And, the amount of times I’ve caught him trying to get your attention?” Mina laughed, taking a seat on your bed as you tried to pick out something to wear, Mina’s demand of course.

“Mina please,” you scolded.

“What?” She laughed. “He’s hot Y/n. Plus, SM Entertainment? He’s going to be famous. That boy can sing and dance and that is rare.” She wasn’t wrong about Jongin being talented. He was one who was always the center of an interesting topic, being that he could sing, dance, and was rather good looking.

“This one or this one?” You asked, holding up two different tops, trying to divert the conversation away from Jongin.

“Neither,” she sighed. She got up and walked over to your closet, taking step to the side when something caught her attention. “Woah… Is this?” She picked up the photo that was set up on your dresser, taking a closer look. “That’s Jongdae! And Jongin? You never told me you used to be friends with them.”

“And Junmyeon,” you sighed, taking a seat on the end of your bed.

“Woah what?” She raised an eyebrow. “Why have you never told me?” You didn’t really have an answer as to why you never told her. You weren’t one to bring someone like that up in a normal conversation, nor did it really matter anymore. You grew distant from the group and things changed over time that you had almost forgotten they were even your friends at one point. Almost.

“It’s not that big of a deal, Mina,” you replied. “We all lived in walking distance from each other in grade school so it was just convenient.”

“Damn, I wish I would have lived here back then,” she joked, putting the picture down back on your dresser.

You were a very reserved person, not really too keen on the idea of letting one person know too much about you. If someone asked, you were never rude or awkward. You were open if they asked but things like that never came into conversation.

“Y/n,” you mother came into your room, interrupting your small conversation with Mina. You looked over in her direction, curious as to what she wanted. She walked in, all excited, holding something behind her back. “It came.” You pulled out an envelope that was bigger than an acceptance letter that you received not too long ago from your college you were attending.

“No way,” you jumped up, grabbing the envelope from her. You ripped it open reading the letter out loud. “Dear Y/n, we are happy to take you on as a personal intern for some of our popular clientele. We look forward to meeting you this next weekend at our scheduled meeting. Congratulations and welcome to the team. JYP Entertainment.”

“JYP?!” Mina basically screamed. “What the HELL Y/N! What are you doing for JYP!?”

“I am an assistant to some of their idols after they finish their training, meaning I am somewhat the assistant to the manager. I applied at JYP not too long ago as with a couple of other companies but-

“I can’t believe Y/n Y/L/N, is going to be an assistant to some famous ass group one day and I am going to be sitting there on my couch with my two cats and idiot boyfriend and I’m going to see you on some stupid TV show and say “That was my best friend in high school”.” You laughed as she went on about how she was genuinely excited for you.

“Oh and Y/n, I talked to Kim Junmyeon’s mother and you are staying at his place in the city during your little weekend in Seoul.” You could basically hear Mina squirming in her seat as your mother mention Junmyeon’s name. He was probably the most popular kid in high school, after he got a contract with SM Entertainment, he kind of was the hot topic in school for a while.

Your mother left the room, leaving you and Mina alone. Mina had a stupid grin on her face, wanting so badly to say something about the recent news.

“Get over it,” you laughed, pushing her away from you. “What are you wearing tonight?”

It was a stressful thing, getting ready for one stupid party. You hadn’t been to a party all year, this being your first and last of your high school career. Mina wouldn’t let up on the tight black skinny jeans and the plain white t that you had probably only worn once. It really defined your curves that you forgot you had due to the big sweaters and leggings that was your go to outfit. It felt weird and unnatural to you but then again, this wasn’t going to matter in a couple of days, after you graduate and head out to Seoul for the rest of your career.

“Okay but JYP. I heard they like travel to the states and stuff,” Mina said, walking beside you as you two walked down the street towards Jongin’s house. “If you go to LA, bring back one of those hats with the LA sign on it. I’ve always wanted one for some weird reason.”

“Haven’t you been there like two times?” You pointed out. She laughed at nodded her head.

“Yeah but my mom would never buy me one,” she replied. “That woman is more strict than Mr. Hancey.” You laughed at her comment, remembering that he had once sent her to the office for wearing a shirt that was implied about sex, even though it was very subtle.

When you got to the party, it was already crowded and loud. You didn’t know if you were nervous or excited showing up and having people say hi to you and Mina. Everyone knew Mina because she was loud and outgoing and everyone knew who you were cause of Mina. It was weird having attention on you like this but then again, you didn’t mind.

“Hey I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” Mina smirked, running off with some guy that you didn’t know, leaving you alone. You hadn’t been there long but you were already alone and it felt weird. You didn’t know how to really converse with people you weren’t close to.

“Lost?” You heard a familiar voice say. You turned around to see Junmyeon smiling down at you as you sat on the couch. “Long time no see.” You got up and hugged Junmyeon, who had initiated the hug.

“I thought you weren’t coming back until next week,” you confronted. Junmyeon took a seat next to you, inviting you back to sit down with him.

“I wasn’t planning on coming home so soon but Jongin called me and asked for me to come a few days earlier. I don’t mind though, I missed home.” Junmyeon was one of the few that really made an effort to be your friend. You weren’t as close as you used to be but he was still considered one of your good friends. “Your mom told my family about JYP.”

“Oh god,” you felt your face get hot as he just laughed. “Keep that on the DL for now.”

“Oh no problem,” he replied. “I’m excited though. I’ll get to see you more often. Plus, your new place is right around the corner from mine. You’re going to love Seoul, Y/n.”

“Junmyeon!” Jongdae came over, wrapping his arm around Junmyeon, obviously intoxicated.

“Drunk already, I see,” Junmyeon laughed.  

“What?” Jongdae laughed, acting defensive. “What makes you say that?” He started laughing that infamous loud laugh of his, which made you and Junmyeon laugh as well.

“He got into an intense drinking game with Mina in the kitchen,” Jongin added, trying to keep Jongdae up straight. “That girl can put it away.”

“Is she okay?” You asked, looking behind to see Mina talking to a group of people. She looked happy and energetic like always, just being bit more loud than usual.

“She’s fine. Jongdae here is just a light weight,” Jongin laughed. 

“I’ll get him home. Do you need a ride Y/n?” Junmyeon looked over at you before getting up and helping Jongdae to his feet.

“Oh no it’s okay. I have to take care of that one over there. Plus it’s just down the street.”

“Alright,” Junmyeon smiled sweetly over at you. “It was good talking to you. I’ll see you next week okay?” You waved Junmyeon off as he carried Jongdae out of the house. Jongin sat there next to you, awkward fidgeting with his hands as you tried to decide what move you wanted to make next.

Jongin leaned over, grabbing your attention as he spoke directly to you. “I’m glad you came tonight.” You looked over at his intoxicating smile, feeling a pit in your stomach as he made eye contact with you.

You never really admitted this out loud but you felt differently towards Jongin. In the seventh grade, he was dared to kiss you at one of your close friends’ birthday party. That was your first and only kiss you had ever experienced. You told yourself it was weird because he was your friend, and it has stayed like that. If you had the choice, you would say no to doing anything with him but that doesn’t stop you from feeling this way when he would smile at you.

“It’s been really fun-”

“Y/n!” Mina laughed, falling over on top of you, resting her head in your lap. “Hello princess. Did you miss me?”

“I better get her home.”

“Oh yeah,” Jongin awkwardly scratched his head. “Do you .. Do you need help?”

“I got it,” you reassured. Jongin helping you get Mina to her feet as she stumbled in front of you as you walked to the front door. “Thank you.” 

“Of course,” he nodded. “Are you sure you don’t need help?” You wanted to reply but Mina was already half way down the sidewalk without you. 

“I better go. Thank you, Jongin.” He didn’t say anything as you ran off to tend to your stumbling friend.

That night, you didn’t really think much of what Jongin was trying to do. He was never straightforward with you, always beating around the bush. To this day, he still isn’t very forward with you. After that night of the party, he tried more and more to talk to you, making an effort to show you that he was serious about keeping you in his life. You didn’t realize it but your friends you had back when you were a child, we're going to be your friends for a while.

“Please keep me updated when you and Jongin fall in love,” Mina joked as you tucked her into your bed. You just laughed and shook your head as you crawled in next to her.

“We’re not going to fall in love,” you replied, resting your head on your pillow. She turned in your direction, letting out a small burp that smelt like PBR.

“Shut up Y/n. I’m just saying that if you do, keep me updated. Don’t fight me, just... Keep me updated.” You laughed at how she was slurring her words, repeating herself over and over.

“Goodnight Mina.”

[atroopofechoesband-blog]

Band-on-Band Action:  Indian Handcrafts vs. A Troop of Echoes

Here’s the fifth entry in a series of interviews with artists and musicians we enjoy and respect.  In these “double interviews,” bands ask each other a series of three questions.  No agendas, no awkward plugs, no corporate bullshit.  

Today, we’re dishing with Indian Handcrafts, purveyors of righteous Canadian stoner metal.  We learned of these from guys a publicist we worked with back in 2015, who also represented Indian Handcrafts and all of their Sargent House labelmates.  These dudes absolutely shred, and were a blast to catch up with...

Indian Handcrafts:  Stoner rock personified.

Dan (A Troop of Echoes):  You guys write some pretty gnarly songs packed with good choices.  Are there any specific moments or decisions in any of your songs that you’re super proud of?  Bonus question:  Are there any moments or decisions that you still cringe at?  We definitely have a few of those…

Dan (Indian Handcrafts):  I think the things that I am most proud of would be the things that weren't done by us but the contributions from others.  We've had the good fortune to have our influences professionally and personally involved in the production and performances on some of our songs such as the Swamp Child EP which featured Buzz from the Melvins and Bruce Lee which had both Coady Willis and Dale Crover of Big Business and the Melvins playing.  Another in particular is Degenerate Case,  which has vocal parts contributed by a lot of family and friends, including my co-pilot’s (I hate the term partner) band, The Rip Nancies, and both Brandyn’s son and my two kids.  As far as cringe-worthy material, I am an over criticizer when it comes to our stuff.  I see nothing but the zits and wiry hairs in odd places...

“Emotionally charged” music.  “Emotionally charged” people.  Dan from A Troop of Echoes, photo courtesy of  Freddie Ross. 

Dan (Indian Handcrafts): Your music is emotionally charged.  What were the influences that fused together to form A Troop Of Echoes?  Are you folks a fan of movie soundtracks? If so, what would be some to check out??

Pete (A Troop of Echoes): Thanks! We've sort of morphed a few times over the years, so we accumulated a caravan of influences along the way. In the beginning it was bands we grew up around, like Lightning Bolt and The Slip (this really sweet kind-of post-rock band that split up; two of them moved to Montreal and started The Barr Brothers). We've also been into classic jazz and modern sorta-jazz groups like The Bad Plus. And as kids we grew up listening to Zeppelin, Hendrix, that kinda thing. With our most recent record, the weird thing is that it ended up reflecting our influences even though we were making a conscious effort to just sound like ourselves. And what ended up coming through was the sound of a bunch of bands we listened to like seven years before this record was made. I don't even think we knew they were influencing us at the time. We'd be recording our practices and listening back to what was coming out and it was like "Whoa. Trail of Dead." I'm personally really into the Neverending Story soundtrack, because as a kid it made me feel like I owned a magical dragon.

Dan (A Troop of Echoes): This is stupid but I really liked the Gone in 60 Seconds soundtrack for some reason.  Also, Star Wars.  Obviously the full score is incredible, but it got even more drilled into my head while playing Jedi Knight on my computer for hours and hours.

Nick (A Troop of Echoes):  Two rando soundtracks for me: I Heart Huckabees and There Will Be Blood. Oh, and definitely Kill Bill, and anything by John Carpenter

Harry (A Troop of Echoes):  Two soundtracks from me, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Blade Runner.

The A-game, hand-delivered by Indian Handcrafts.  

Pete (A Troop of Echoes): Yeah, like Dan said, killer songs, guys!  We love your stuff.  When it comes time to take it out on the road, how do you make sure that you’re “bringing your A-game” to every show? Especially considering how “involved” your songs are - you guys don’t really have the luxury of just getting up on stage and strumming a few boring chords.  Do you have any bands you’ve thought of during your career as role models in terms of how kick-ass a live show should be?

Dan (Indian Handcrafts):  Thanx!!  When going out for shows it's like anything else:  practice, practice, and work your ass off.  Bands I have admired the most and looked at as inspirational from a work ethic point of view are without a doubt KISS and the Melvins.  Whether a club or arena you absolutely have to give it your best.  If someone paid to see you perform you shouldn't rip them off.

Who needs vocals when you have one or more saxophones?  Photo credit:  Freddie Ross.  

Dan (Indian Handcrafts):  Have there been any obstacles in being an instrumental band?  As someone who loves instrumental music, I’ve never actually played it.

Harry (A Troop of Echoes):  When we were first starting out, I think we had a lot of difficulty with it.  It seems silly to say this now, but around 2005 the umbrella term of "post-rock" wasn't really in the mainstream yet. We'd be playing shows and you could see the look on the audience’s faces as they realized two songs into the set that one of us wasn't going to start singing. I'm reminded of a friend's party we played at very early on.  We overheard someone saying, and I quote, "Why would I want to listen to music without singing?"  That doesn't happen very often anymore, be it that times have changed or that people seem to know what they're getting into more with us. 

There were a few things we’ve experimented with over the years to try to make successful instrumental rock songs.  When we were first writing material, we would try to jam a lot of different ideas into a short amount of time. Part of this was to just keep the audience locked on us and not have them wander off to the bar. The other part was just what we were listening to at the time. We'd fit 7 or 8 different ideas into a piece of music and try to have this kinetic, relentless rhythm bowl you over. We might have gotten in our heads a bit that since most people weren't keen on instrumental music that we had to grab their attention anyway we could. But over time we saw that we just couldn't keep doing that without having the song itself suffer. We took some time and figured out that we would have to get out of the way of a song, that it's better to have two or three ideas and have those make as much impact as possible rather than throw in everything and the kitchen sink.

Gettin’ Crafty with Brandyn&Daniel.

Dan (A Troop of Echoes): You guys are a 2-piece, but your sound is absolutely fucking massive.  What are some of the techniques you guys use to sculpt that sound?  Things like panning, arrangements, looping/layering, reverb/delay, multitracking, etc.?  How much of that transfers over between the studio and the stage?  Or do you have to take a totally different approach in each environment?

Dan (Indian Handcrafts):  We've actually just became a three piece as of last Saturday!  But before that, in the studio I used a lot of doubling on my main guitar parts and a lot of overdubs to create a wall of sound.  When it comes to live, I have always thought of it much the same as The Who did: the album is the album and live is live.  They’re totally different beasts.  

A Troop of Echoes with Freddie Ross, whose photography was used as the album art on The Longest Year on Record.  

Dan (Indian Handcrafts):  I love the cover of the new album.  I have my own ideas as to what it represents as far as the album sounds and feels.  What does it represent coming from you guys?

Nick (A Troop of Echoes):  Man, I'm a little drunk and my answer is getting kind of deep and emotional...

I don’t think there was ever some unified vision as to what the cover represents. We just genuinely enjoy Freddie’s work. It’s compelling and the pieces we picked in particular feel like a perfect complement to the record. They’re emotionally evocative without feeling heavy or manipulative, which is something we’ve always strived for in our music. As to what the art represents, I find it all bound up in my feelings about making the record.

The theme and color of the images suggest a sort of reverie for youth, or an ending of youth and a transitioning into another phase of life, which parallels our lives in the band pretty uncannily. I don’t think we could have realized the entire thought at the time because we were so focused on putting the album out, promoting it, and touring on it, but looking back on it now, The Longest Year On Record was a swan song for us in a lot of ways, and the images have accumulated that deeper meaning for me over time. Maybe I’m just an old fart now, but I feel unimaginably lucky to have been on the ride that was this band.

Gettin the feels over here boys.  

Harry:  All the feels...Somebody's cuttin' onions in here.  

We’ll take any excuse we can to repost this photo...

Dan (Indian Handcrafts):  Finally how do you guys find balancing life and music?  Do any of you have day jobs, kids etc?

Dan (A Troop of Echoes):  Nick, Pete, and Harry all went to school for music, and have actually been lucky (and dedicated!) enough to have built careers in music or sound-related fields.  Nick just started a guitar school, Pete has been teaching woodwind lessons up in Toronto, and Harry is working in a voiceover studio up in Boston.  I’m kind of the odd one out, I just got my Ph.D. in lunar geology, and am going to be starting a job at NASA this summer.  

None of us have kids, but we’re all in long-term, committed relationships with pretty wonderful people.  We’re really grateful to them for their support of our weird musical dreams!  Its not easy being with someone who’s always tied up touring or recording, but they’ve always got our backs.  

Indian Handcrafts is a rad band with rad songs.  Go check them out!