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peterparkers-bad-youtube-apology · 2 years ago

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Getting Barreled

Wipeout - Chapter 5

Pairing: Surfer!Tom Holland x Reader

A/N: I’m so sorry about the long gap between chapters, I really try not to do that, hopefully since it’s so long it makes up for it. Anyways any feedback is always appreciated! Reblogs and comments mean a lot, I always leave my ask box open too if you wanna talk anon or something! Love you guys so much, hope you enjoy xx

Warnings: Smut, fighting, angst

Summary: Turns out Tom doesn’t like watching your flirt either

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❀ ゜.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．゜❀

When Tom arrived at your house on Friday night he wasn’t prepared for how dressed up you’d be. You wore a snug little black dress he’d never seen before, it nearly brought him to his knees. He knew all eyes would be on you as soon as you got to the party, and he was right. As soon as you two stepped inside he noticed people starting to ogle you, he knew it happened whenever you two went out, but tonight he was hyper aware of it. Tonight you were actually going to flirt back with one of the people that ended up approaching you. Normally you were too busy with Tom and your other friends to even realize when someone was trying to hit on you.

Tom knew it wouldn’t bug him, at least in the sense of him feeling left out or insecure. This was a planned event after all, he’d know you were just doing it to prove a point, but he was there to make you feel better. So he was going to sit by himself, feeling awkward and bored in the corner while you had fun. The only situation he could imagine himself getting actually worked up about was if someone started being creepy or coming onto you a little too aggressively.

Admittedly Tom was starting to feel a bit awkward already because you seemed to know everyone at the party, and Tom hadn’t recognized anyone yet. It was isolating, even for someone as social as Tom. It just wasn’t his crowd, the only college students he usually hung out with were locals, people he’d grown up with. He was used to more laid back parties too, kickbacks or bonfires that were almost always held on the beach. Being crammed into a tiny house with no room to move with a bunch of couples getting hot and heavy was hardly his idea of a fun party. Tom was surprised by how comfortable you seemed considering you always told him you preferred the smaller kickbacks you attended with him and Grace.

“There they are,” you waved to Anya when you spotted her hanging out in the kitchen, you grabbed Tom’s arm to drag him over to where her and her girlfriend stood. Anya was your coworker, but Tom knew the two of you also went to school together. Tom had met her a few times in passing but never really talked to her, but in that moment he was just happy to see a familiar face, “Tom this is Anya’s girlfriend Rey, Rey this is my friend Tom.”

“Nice to meet you,” Tom shook her hand.

“Do you guys want something to drinK?” Anya asked.

“Definitely,” you nodded, “You want a beer or something Tom?”

He shook his head, “Nah, I’m not gonna drink tonight.”

“No problem, I’ll be right back,” you followed Anya away to a crowded kitchen counter.

Tom watched as you two wiggled between people and attempted to grab some drinks. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight. A tall, slim boy started talking to you while you were trying to find a drink you would like. It seemed like you knew him, and you started to blush as he spoke to you. Something he said made you start laughing before you and Anya came back to where Tom and Rey were waiting for you. The boy followed behind you and upon closer inspection Tom realized he had to be a few years older than you both, at least in his mid twenties.

“Here babe,” Anya handed Rey a setzler and wrapped her arm around the shorter girl, “This is Riley, he was the TA in our history of interiors class,” she explained, “Riley this is my girlfriend Rey, and (y/n)’s friend Tom.”

Riley nodded to both of them, “Nice to meet you both.”

“Yeah, you too,” Rey smiled back at him but Tom said nothing.

“So are you two students also?” he hummed.

Rey nodded, “Yeah, I’m in the fashion design program.”

“Two designers,” he chuckled, “That’s cute. What about you Tom?”

Tom pursed his lips, “I’m not in school.”

“Well academics aren’t for everyone,” he smiled and glanced down at you, “I certainly wish they weren’t for me.”

Tom fought the urge to roll his eyes while you smiled back at him, “Whatever, you took a TA job, and that does not pay well enough for anyone who doesn’t love school to do it.”

“I didn’t say I don’t love it, I just wish it wasn’t for me,” he chuckled, “I mean TA’s have a lot of responsibilities, and I’m not even allowed to flirt with the pretty girls in my class.”

Tom couldn’t believe you’d want to flirt with someone like Riley. For starters you were way out of his league, and he was obviously just some sort of stuck up academic. He was wearing a turtleneck to a party in the middle of summer, that alone should have been enough to deter you, but his last comment also seemed like a red flag to Tom. It made Tom wonder if you were actually into him, as more than just someone to flirt with for the night. Maybe while you were in class with him you’d developed a little crush, and the idea of that rubbed Tom the wrong way.

“We should play beer pong,” you suggested, a flirty smirk on your lips as you set a hand on RIley’s arm, “Tom’s not drinking so you could be my partner Riley.”

“That sounds lovely,” he agreed, “It looks like they're about to wrap up, we can take the winner.”

“Totally,” you giggled and squeezed his arm while he whisked you away to the beer pong table.

You smiled at Tom as you brushed past him, he just pursed his lips as he watched you two walk away.

“He seems like he’s quite a bit older than you guys,” he commented to Anya with a frown.

“What? He’s only like 23,” Anya laughed, “I think Rey and I are gonna try and play too, do you wanna head over there with us?”

He shook his head, “No, that’s alright, I’m fine here.”

Tom leaned back on one of the kitchen counters while he watched you and RIley flirt. A few people tried to talk to him but he brushed them all off, even if he weren’t there with a purpose he wasn’t in the mood to flirt. He had his eyes locked on you, Riley gave him bad vibes, and he was just waiting for him to do something weird or make you uncomfortable.

You didn’t seem to mind anything he was doing though. You smiled when he grabbed your waist and giggled when he started whispering in your ear. Tom was uncomfortable with it though, and he didn’t understand why you were okay with everything he was doing. It seemed so obvious to him that Riley was a creep. Everytime he moved closer to you or made you laugh it just fueled Tom’s anger. He had his hands clenched at his sides, his knuckles starting to turn white from how tight his grip was. If he made even one wrong move Tom was going to walk right over there and hit him.

Tom crossed his arms while he watched you cheer for Riley, congratulating him as he scored another point. Riley looked so smug about it, his eyes shamelessly wandered over your body every chance he got. It was making Tom sick, Riley was looking at you like you were a piece of meat, like he couldn’t care less about what kind of person you were or what sort of personality you had. Riley leaned in close to you and his hand dropped from your waist to your ass. That was the final straw for Tom, flirting was one thing, grabbing your ass was another.

He paced towards you two, his hands clenched at his sides again and his brows knit in frustration, “Okay, that’s enough,” he shoved Riley away from you and stepped in front of you, “Hands to yourself got it?”

Your eyes widened in shock as Riley tried to laugh it off, “Woah, hey, we’re just playing a game.”

“Yeah well if you touch her again I’m gonna break your fucking arm so just back off,” Tom threatened lowly, anger swirled in his chest. He had no problem starting a fight with some creep who thought he could get handsy with you, but luckily Riley backed off, “We’re going home,” Tom turned back to you and started pushing you towards the door.

You couldn’t do anything but gape at Tom while he ushered you out of the party. You had never seen him so angry, “What the hell Tom?!” you questioned as he threw open the front door.

“He was a fucking creep,” he seethed, ripping his keys out of his pocket as he stomped towards his Jeep.

“Creep?” you gaped again while you climbed into the middle seat, “We were just flirting Tom, it was totally normal.”

“That was not normal,” he scoffed.

“Yes it was, you know it was,” you were fighting a smirk while he started the car, “You just didn’t like feeling left out while I was flirting and having fun.”

“I am not jealous!” he snapped back at you, his cheeks flushing pink in an instant, “I just know when guys have bad intentions, and he obviously did.”

“He didn’t have bad intentions, he was flirting. It’s no different than how you were hitting on that girl at Adrien’s party,” you replied smugly.

“He grabbed your ass! And you obviously didn’t see how he was looking at you!”

“People check each other out when they’re flirting Tom,” you rolled your eyes, “Why don’t you just admit it made you uncomfortable? That was the whole point of doing this anyway.”

“Yeah I was uncomfortable with how much of a fucking creep he is!” he yelled back, glaring at the road in front of him, “There isn’t anything else to it (y.n). We're friends with benefits and that's it, you knew what you were getting into. It's not my fucking fault if you're catching feelings."

Anger started to bubble up inside you, just like it had the weekend before. He wouldn’t just admit that he was upset, even though that was the whole reason you two had gone out. You knew he wasn’t jealous, because of course he wasn’t. You wanted him to admit that it hurt him, the same way it had hurt when he did it to you. Instead he was trying to turn it around on you, and that made your blood boil.

"You are the last person on earth I would ever catch feelings for Tom. You're an immature, arrogant, self centered, prick. You don't have any ambitions or goals, and you don't do anything that doesn't give you some kind of immediate gratification. You're a good lay and that's about it, so don't ever start thinking I want something more than that with you because I don’t, and I won’t, ever,” you spat mean and spiteful words at him, determined not to be the one who went home hurt and crying again.

Instantly you recognized that you’d gone too far, and the way his face contorted confirmed that you had succeeded in hurting him. You regretted it right away, but instead of taking anything back you just sat in silence, waiting for him to respond.

Tom was angry, he gripped the steering wheel in front of him as tightly as he could. His chest puffed up as he tried to think of some sort of snarky reply but nothing came to him. He was a thousand times more hurt than he was angry and truthfully he didn’t know what to say. He’d always admired how driven and put together you were, envied it even. He didn’t like to show it or talk about it, but he was insecure about his own future. Of course he knew that he couldn’t just work at the surf shop and party forever, but he had no clue what he wanted to do with his life. It hurt to hear one of his best friends tell him that she also thought low of him because of it. Even worse was hearing that apparently he didn’t have much value to you beyond sex.

"Well I came out to do this stupid shit for you and it hasn't been gratifying in the least," his voice was low, sounding more tired than angry, "Actually it’s been pretty fucking miserable, but I did it to try and make you feel better because I know I fucked up. I know I’m not a great person but I try to do right by the people I care about, and you're one of those people. I wanted to make things better because you’re a lot more than just a good lay to me and I felt fucking awful for hurting you. I care about having you in my life and I care about our friendship, a lot, but if you think I’m just a selfish prick who’s only good for sex then fine. We can just be done, I’ll just leave you alone. That’s what you wanted in the first place right?”

Your face burned, you were embarrassed and ashamed and unable to speak. Silence fell between you once again as his words sank in. You felt nauseous.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized softly, “I shouldn’t have blown up at you like that, I-I just, I,” you stumbled over your words nervously, “You’re not just a good lay to me Tom, you’re my best friend, and there’s no excuse for me saying something like that to you.”

He glanced over at you, his expression softening when his eyes landed on yours, “(y/n)...”

“I just wanted you to admit that you were hurt, that I was right, and it felt like you were getting mad at me instead,” you admitted shamefully, “I didn’t want to go home crying and hurt again, so I tried to hurt you instead, and that was really shitty of me. I really appreciate that you wanted to do this and try to make me feel better. I’m sorry I’ve been snappy and mean, you’re a really good friend, even if I don’t deserve it.”

“You do deserve it,” he set his hand on your thigh, squeezing you closer to him to try and assure you it was okay, “And you’re not totally wrong either. I know I can be really selfish and I don’t have my life put together. I’ve always been kind of jealous that you’ve got it all figured out, I wish I could be more like you, I just don’t know what I want yet.”

“I wish I was more like you too. I mean sometimes I get so focused on school and my goals that I miss out on everything else, and I forget to do things that make me happy. That’s one of the reasons I like hanging out with you. You always make me have fun, and you remind me to live in the moment,” you blushed and looked down at your hands, “And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not having it figured out yet by the way. We’re still really young and plenty of people our age don’t know what they want yet. And I think it’s okay if you never figure that out either, just as long as you're happy Tom.”

“Well I’m almost always happy when I’m with you,” he cracked a smile, “But I’ll admit you were right, tonight really sucked. I still think he was a creep, but I didn’t like being there alone while you were off flirting. I’m sorry I did that to you."

“It’s alright, I was a way bigger jerk tonight,” your head fell on his shoulder.

“I get what you mean about it making you feel insecure too,” he bit his cheek before continuing, “It’s like why are you flirting with someone like ten leagues below you when I’m there and I’m only like one league below you.”

You couldn’t help but laugh because it was the most Tom way to confess to being insecure, “Don’t worry Tommy, you’re definitely better looking, and you’re way more my type.”

He smiled and kissed your forehead. You closed your eyes as you rested on his shoulder, hopeful that you two would be able to put this all behind you and get back to business as usual. Fighting with your best friend was exhausting.

It was quiet, and you were both calm, but Tom’s mind was still running. There was still one more thing he wanted to get off his chest. Something about seeing you with another man had scared him, it made him feel something he’d never felt before.

“(y/n)?”

“Yeah?”

“Maybe we should try being exclusive,” he waited for you to react. You sat up, but you were too surprised to say anything back to him, “Like only sleeping with each other. That way we can keep having fun but neither of us have to be insecure or anything,” his tongue darted over his lips nervously, “Plus a lot of guys are creeps, and I don’t want you to sleep with some dickhead who starts stalking you or something. I mean I want you to fall in love and all that, but until you find someone you actually want to date, I could be your exclusive booty call.”

“Exclusive booty call,” you laughed again, “I don’t know Tom. Could you really commit to that? I mean you’re going to Hawaii in a week…”

He nodded, “Honestly it’s been a while since I’ve slept with anyone else.”

“Really?” you raised a brow suspiciously.

He nodded again, a light blush flushing over his cheeks, “Yeah, I just haven’t really been interested. I mean I know it’ll be better with you,” he shrugged, “So I’d rather just sleep with you.”

“Well honestly I haven’t slept with anyone else in a while either,” you confessed.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

He chuckled, “I guess we’ve kind of been doing that for a while then.”

“I guess so,” you smiled and laid on his shoulder again.

“I think it’ll work just fine then,” he pressed another kiss to your forehead, “Do you wanna stay at mine tonight?”

“Yeah, that sounds nice Tommy,” you agreed.

“Alright.”

You both wore a smile for the remainder of the drive. It felt good to have everything out on the table, to really be back to normal. You stayed curled up against Tom and he kept his hand on you while you drove. The small touch was nice, but you were craving more. The flurry of emotions you’d experienced that night had set all your nerves ablaze in a way you knew only really had one cure. It didn’t help that your mind kept flickering back to the way Tom had yelled at Riley. He’d been so quick to jump to your defense, and the way he’d looked while he did it was nearly criminal. He looked so strong and imposing, it made you weak at the knees.

“Tommy?” you bit your cheek as he pulled into the driveway.

“I’m not gonna carry you in Flower,” he hummed and peaked over at you, “I don’t care how tired you are.”

“That’s not what I was gonna say,” you laughed lightly, “Actually I was gonna tell you that I’m not really that tired yet…”

“Yeah, it’s still pretty early, I figured we could throw on a movie or something,” he smiled innocently back at you.

He was playing dumb, you knew he was. Usually you initiated things with actions and body language rather than your words, so when you did hint at it verbally he liked to draw it out. He’d tried to get you to say the most explicit things he could, acting like he didn’t understand until you’d stated what you wanted outright. It wasn’t like you were embarrassed to say it outloud or talk about it, but when he played games like that it became a matter of pride. Horny or not you weren’t going to just give in.

“Yeah, or we could do something else,” you unbuckled yourself and him before bringing one of his hands to your waist.

“Sure, we’ve got some board games,” he sunk his fingers into the fabric of your soft dress as he continued to play dumb, “Some kind of trivia thing, I’m sure you’d be good at it.”

You looped a single finger around his necklace and dragged him towards you, stopping when your lips were just a hair apart, “How about something more physical? I’ve got a lot of energy.”

“Twister?” he suggested, “I don’t think we have that Flower.”

“Tom,” your eyes narrowed to a soft glare, “You know what I’m talking about.”

“How could I know something you didn’t tell me?” he cocked his head and knit his brows.

He was a good actor, but you knew him too well.

“Stop playing dumb,” you ordered, “I’m not gonna say it.”

“I’m not playing dumb,” his facade started to crack, you could see the corners of his lips threatening to tug up into a smile, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Tom,” you huffed, “Come on.”

“Just say it, so I know what you want,” he moved his free hand to your waist, pulling you closer as he encouraged you to speak, “It can’t be that hard Flower, you’re very well spoken.”

You could smell his piña colada chapstick, he was so close you could practically taste it too. Annoyed with his continued teasing you tried to lean forward and kick things off, but he leaned back. His lips were now drawn to a full smirk, obviously happy that he was winning. More than anything you wanted to kiss him and wipe that smug look off his face.

“You’re a dick,” you accused.

“Really? I’m just trying to help,” his chest vibrated against yours as he let out a low, sensual chuckle, “If you just tell me what you need I’m sure there’s something I can do for you.”

“Sex Tom,” you stated bluntly, “I want to have sex. You know it’s really unsexy when I have to say it out loud like that.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, I thought it was incredibly sexy,” he purred before he pressed his lips to yours.

His fingers sank further into your waist and you wrapped both of your arms around his neck. A deep, satisfied groan left your lips at the contact. Tom dropped one hand to your thigh and attempted to pull you into his lap, but his plans were foiled by the steering wheel. Your ass grazed against it when you attempted to straddle him and set off his car horn, causing both of you to jump and pull away from each other. You stared at each other for a moment before starting to laugh.

“Maybe we should head inside first,” Tom suggested with a smile.

You nodded in agreement and climbed off of his lap and out of the car. Tom followed after you, keeping his hands on your waist as you ran towards the door. He buried his face in your neck while he reached for the door. He left a trail of wet kisses over your skin as you tumbled into the house. You bit your lip to hide your laughter as you made your way towards his room.

He grabbed the back of your dress as you pushed the door open, “Let me get that zipper for you love.”

“Shouldn’t you start getting undressed first?” you spun around to face him, “You’ve got a lot more on.”

“Save the best for last,” he grinned and tugged your zipper down.

“Oh really?” you laughed.

He nodded and pushed the dress off your shoulders. His eyes followed it all the way to the ground, watching as it pooled around your feet. He bit his lips as his eyes trailed upwards, “You know I’ve been thinking about peeling this off of you all night.”

“Dog,” you jabbed playfully as you lifted his shirt.

He grinned and pressed his lips against your ear, “Woof.”

A chill ran up your spine while he nipped at your ear. His hands left a warm trail across your bare skin, sending a flood of heat to your core. He pressed his lips to the shell of your ear and started moving towards your neck. You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck, craning your head back so he’d have access to more of your skin.

“So I don’t get any help with my clothes?” he teased, you could feel his lips curl to a smile against your skin.

“Not until you ask nicely,” you teased back.

He bit his lip and pulled back so his eyes could meet yours, “You want me to get on my knees too?”

“You’re not the only one who gets to make demands Holland,” you jabbed your finger into his chest.

“Oh well in that case,” he leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear again, “Will you pretty please help me with my clothes love?”

“Yeah I think I will,” you purred back, reaching for the bottom of his shirt.

You tugged the thin, cream colored shirt he was wearing over his head and tossed it to the ground. You ran your hands down his chest and abs, stopping just above the waist of his jeans. His eyes darted downwards, watching as you traced over the edge of his pants. Instead of popping open his jeans you hooked your fingers in his waistband and started walking backwards, stopping when the back of your legs hit his bed. You teased him by running the back of your fingers along his waist before you finally undid his button and pulled down his zipper. His jeans fell to the floor and he stepped out of them, placing both of his large hands over your ass.

“Alright,” he hummed, “My turn again.”

His hands dropped to the back of your thighs, before you could react he lifted you up and tossed you onto the bed. You squealed and erupted in laughter while you bounced across his mattress. He laughed and crawled onto the bed beside you, rolling you onto your back and straddling your hips. His hands started at your waist and krept up your body all the way to your breasts. One hand stayed at your breasts, giving a soft, teasing squeeze while the other moved up to your cheek. He used his thumb to tug down on your bottom lip, forcing your lips into a pout.

“Gorgeous,” he commented under his breath, “How about a kiss angel?”

A little awestruck you pressed a kiss to his thumb. Tom had an ability to make you feel so delicate and special, like you were the only person in the whole universe. Already dark eyes turned nearly black as they drank in your every move. Soft pink lips would curl into an almost devilish grin before smothering every inch of your skin in hot, sultry kisses. His hands would trail all over your body, making you feel warm and weak under his touch. It seemed almost unfair how good he was.

You reached up, lacing your hands through his hair so you could pull him down to you. You nipped at his bottom lip right away and he happily opened his mouth. He squeezed your breast again before his hand slipped under you, unclasping your bra with surprising ease.

“Usually takes you longer than that,” you mumbled against your lips.

“Shove it,” he mumbled back before sitting back up.

He tugged your bra off and eyed your chest, smiling wide as he reached down to touch you. He ran his hand over your delicate skin before he leaned in, pressing his lips to the valley between your breasts. You bit your bottom lip while he sucked at the skin there, waiting for him to move to your more sensitive areas. You used one hand to tug at his messy curls, trying to prompt him to move along.

For once he decided against teasing you and moved his mouth over your right nipple, taking the left between two of his fingers.

You moaned and pulled at a tuft of his hair, “Fuck,” you groaned against him, “Tom.”

He continued sucking at your skin while you leaned up into his touch. You rocked your hips up into his, which prompted him to reach down between you. Instead of touching you like you’d hoped he palmed over himself. He groaned against your skin and pushed his boxer brief down off his hips. You reached down to pull your own underwear off but he stopped you.

“Let me,” he purred, running a single finger over your underwear.

“Tom please,” you whined.

Instead of listening he pulled your underwear to the side and slid a single finger into you. You moaned as he started to finger you, rocking your hips eagerly against his hand. He tugged your nipple between his teeth before he pulled away from your breasts.

“That feel good angel?” he cooed, teasing you with a second finger.

You nodded quickly, “Amazing.”

“Good,” he added the second finger and curled them both inside you, “I want you to be nice and wet for me angel.”

You moaned under him while he reached down to start stroking himself. After he was sure he’d gotten you wet enough he carefully removed his fingers and pulled your underwear down. You let out an annoyed groan at the loss, to which he only chuckled.

“Hi beautiful,” he set one hand on your cheek and used the other to reach behind you for a pillow.

“Wait,” you grabbed his wrist as he tried to move the pillow under you, “I wanna be on top.”

He grinned and leaned back, “Lucky me.”

He grabbed one of your hands to help pull you up and traded spots with you. He propped himself up on his elbows so he could watch you climb on top of him. You dragged your fingertips down his abs before you took him in your hand. He bit down on his bottom lip while you ran your thumb over his head.

“Fucking hell,” he swore and tried to place one of his hands over yours.

You swatted it away with a smile, “My turn.”

He chuckled and fell back onto the bed, “Alright.”

“That feel good Tommy?” you cooed while you jerked him off.

“Mmm hmm,” he hummed, “Very.”

“Good,” you lifted your hips and hovered above him, “Ready?”

He nodded and grabbed your hips, “I got you angel.”

You used one hand to hold him in place while you sank down onto him. Both of you moaned as he bottomed out in you. His fingertips dug into your skin while you adjusted to his length. At first you just rocked your hips against him, warming yourself up to the feeling of riding him. He kept moaning under you, using his hands to help guide you through the movements.

You braced one of your hands against his stomach before you lifted your hips and sank down again. Tom let out a deep, approving groan and ran his hands up and down your sides. He moved a hand down to your clit while you found your rhythm. You moaned while you bounced and ground against him.

“Shit,” Tom’s eyes flickered between your eyes and your breasts while you bounced on top of him, “So pretty,” he groaned.

You let out a breathy laugh and ground down extra hard against him. He squeezed your hip and started to thrust up into you. You moaned and brought your free hand to your breasts, pinching the same nipple he’d been sucking at just minutes before. You could feel your high coming, everything building up to the perfect climax. Tom wasn’t any better off either, all his skin was flushed and dewy, and the sounds he was making were downright pornographic. You panted above him, suddenly jolting and moaning when he pinched your clit.

“Tom!” you cried out.

“You gonna cum for me angel?” he squeezed your waist when he felt you tightening around him.

You nodded eagerly, “Yeah.”

“You feel so incredible,” he complimented, starting to take over the majority of the thrusting as you got closer and closer, “And you look so gorgeous angel, can’t wait for you to cum for me.”

You whimpered and leaned forward so you could grind on him a little harder. He pinched your clit again and everything came crashing down. A flood of warmth overtook your body as you clenched down around him. You panted and moaned while he groaned happily. He pushed himself up while you rode out your high, continuing to pound into you while he buried his face in your neck. He nipped and sucked at your skin while he chased down his own climax. You threaded your hands through his hair and tugged at some of his curls. He moaned and pressed his lips to yours as he finished. You kept rocking your hips against him, helping him to ride it out the same way he’d helped you. He didn’t pull his lips from yours until he’d finished.

You both wore happy, tired smiles while you stared at each other. After a minute of just staring you both started to laugh and Tom pressed his lips to yours again. He pulled away and carefully pulled out of you.

He hummed, tracing over your hips with a smile, “Bet you’re tired now huh?”

You smiled back, “Yeah, but I need to go to the bathroom before we go to bed.”

He nodded, “Got it, let me get you something to wear.”

He climbed out of the bed and grabbed an oversized shirt for you. He pulled it over your head and helped you stand, laughing when he noticed you wobbling on your way to the door. He pulled on a fresh pair of underwear while you peed and fell back into the bed to wait.

“You need a nightlight in that hall,” you commented, rubbing your eyes as you padded towards him, “I almost walked into Harrison’s room.”

“Well I’m sure that would have made Haz’s night,” he laughed, opening his arms to invite you back to him, “Come on, I’m cold.”

You rolled your eyes and crawled over him, snuggling up between him and the wall. Tom wrapped his arms around you as you laid your head on his chest, one of his hands lazily dragged up your back while you closed your eyes. His chest rumbled with a content hum, a smile tugged across his lips as he placed a kiss against your forehead.

“(y/n)?” he spoke your name softly, trying to gauge if you were up for pillow talk or not.

“Tom,” you mumbled back.

“I’ve been thinking lately,” he continued, a light blush spreading across his cheeks, “About what I want to do with my life.”

“Really?” you yawned.

He nodded, “Yeah, a little. I’ve just been thinking that I really like working with kids, you know, helping them come out of their shells and everything. Maybe I’d like to do that more full time.”

“Like being a teacher or something?”

“I don’t know about that, I never really liked school,” he sighed, “But something with kids, maybe an after school program or some kind of counseling or something? I don’t know, maybe I could just open my own surf school.”

“I think you’d be really good at that Tom,” you smiled up at him, “You could always take a few classes on it and see if you like it.”

He nodded, “Yeah, maybe I’ll do that. Then we could carpool to school together,” he chuckled.

You hummed, “Fine, but you better not make me late.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Flower,” he chuckled.

next chapter

❀ ゜.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．゜❀

Taglist:

@spideyssunshine @spideyspeaches @niallsvirgosun @roseke @outshineallthestars @namoreno @thevery-firstpage @collywobbl @zspideyy @emistrash @tomsirishgirlx @andreagf956 @peachyafshawn @agbspidey @sleepybesson @nj01 @misshale21 @prancerrparkerr @raajali3 @ellabellabus07 @xoxomaterialgirl @mayal0pez @belovedholland @minjix @blankspaceblankday @inthegetawaycarwithtaylah @graciexmarvel @secretsthathauntus @lnmp89 @negasonic-teenage-asshole @gloomynigvts @phobiics @t-hollanderr @cest-la-vieve @itscaminow @katiaw2 @afro-hispwriter @chrissybang @hem-lemon @book-lover20 @plshie @zoeaudrey2 @princessria127

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thebatfamfanatic · 3 years ago

Text

Six Times He Met Her

Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, guy taking advantage of a minor in first chap, mention of underage smut in fourth chap, making out?, violence, mentions of blood/injury, main character death, adult language, angst

A/N: First thing I’ve written on Tumblr!! Tell me if anybody likes it, or if I broke your heart. And yes, I know I’m evil.

The first time he saw you was around 2:30 in the morning. Jason was squatting on the edge of a rooftop in Gotham, surveying the dark scenery below him.

Somehow, there was still plenty of traffic on the dirty streets, plenty of cars honking and driving around. Jason always wondered who the fuck needed to be somewhere at 2 am.

He fiddled with a loose seam on the Robin uniform he sported each night, hunting down the assholes of Gotham (pretty much 70% of the city) and putting them in jail, where they belonged.

At 16, Jason Todd technically should have been in bed, maintaining a healthy sleep schedule and doing some rich kid shit during the day. Of course, his adoptive (long story) father, Bruce Wayne, richest playboy in Gotham, employed him to be his little tweety bird sidekick at night, so here he was, at the rendezvous watching the streets. yay. A scream came from an alley nearby. Jason stood, stretched his legs, and leaped down from the roof onto the ground. He pinpointed the alleyway where the noise was coming from and raced into it. A girl, about his age, had been cornered by some bitch dude who thought he could take advantage of this girl. Not on Robin’s watch.

Before the girl could scream again, the guy was on the ground and Jason was helping her up. She shakily took the hand he offered her and looked him in the eye. Shit, she had gorgeous eyes. Jason froze for a second, lost in her beauty, before clearing in his throat.

“Hi. I’m Robin, uh, you probably knew that. Are you okay, ma’am?”

He hated the squeak that came out of his mouth. He sounded like a fucking 5 year old. The girl raised her eyebrow. She had recovered rather quickly. “You don’t have to call me ma’am. I’m not some rich-ass royal whatever from Britain.” Jason liked this one. Sassy, but just so. He inquired where she lived, and she gave him the address. With his grappling hook at the ready, Jason pulled her closer to him. She jumped at the sudden closeness, but seemed to enjoy it. Maybe? He didn’t know shit about girls.

Jason shot the hook, propelling them up in the air, and landed on a rooftop. They continued this routine until he got in front of her house. It was still several seconds before he released her waist.

She started to walk towards her door, before stopping.

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Sorry, what?” Jason blinked.

“I thought you were smart, Robin. Its my name, dumb ass.”

Then Y/N disappeared into her house. Jason stood there foolishly outside on her front lawn for a while, thinking about the girl he had just met. She was unlike anyone he had ever met, and he realized 10 minutes later that he had forgotten to ask about where her family was and everything.

Oh well. Bruce would be expecting him anyways. Jason shot his grappling hook and started home, still dazed from the encounter.

The second time you guys met was two weeks later. Jason was just Jason Todd, a normal 10th grader living in the shadow of his (adopted) older brother Dick Grayson. Nobody paid much attention to him, and he didn’t really mind. Mostly Jason focused on getting A’s in class and then retreating into the library until Golden Boy’s after school clubs were over.

That is, until you walked in. It sounded as if you had just moved here, and for a minute, Jason felt a little sorry for you. I mean, Gotham wasn’t the greatest place to spend high school, or any grade, in his opinion.

You looked at your schedule from across the hall and then up at the locker next to him. For a second, your eyes met his and Jason was content. Lost in those brilliant colors. And then you looked away and started walking towards him. He realized just in time maybe he should stop leaning over your locker as you stopped next to him.

“Hi. Y/N. Just moved here. Looks like we’re locker neighbors.”

Jason was about to reply with “I know” but restrained himself. “Jason. Nice to meet you. Congrats on moving to this shitshow.”

He managed to not grin like an idiot as you laughed. The sound was music to his ears, like beautiful bells. God, he was being sappy.

“It’s not much of a shitshow when you’re here.” Ooh, she flirts too. Jason smirked as you opened your locker and dumped your stuff inside, pulling out the things you needed for your first class.

The first bell shrieked just as you closed your locker. “See you around, Jason.”

The small smile you gave him made his day, and he almost forgot to get to class. Yes, you were certainly one of a kind, and yes, Jason wanted you. The question was how to get to that point.

You guys had a couple classes together, and frequently sat at the same table during lunch, so it wasn’t long before you were quick friends with Jason. However, the next notable time you met was a little while after he got your number.

Jason was laying on his bed, scrolling mindlessly through Tumblr as he thought about ways to ask you out.

Y/N, would you grant me the honor of going out with me? No, too Romeo and Juliet.

Hey, want to grab ice cream? He had to make it clear what his intentions were. Then it wouldn’t be weird if he kissed you, right?

Oh, god, if he fucking kissed you….what would that be like? Before Jason could start fantasizing, his fingers were flying across the keyboard and he had sent a text to you. What did he do, what did he-

Hey, I was wondering if you’d like to see that new movie this weekend. It seems like something you would enjoy.

Hm. That was actually pretty good. Where did he come up with that?

Jason had just started inspecting his fingers for some kind of sign of being possessed by smooth-with-girls-syndrome when you responded. He looked up and read it quickly.

Sure, I’d love that! Thanks for thinking of me ❤️

A heart. You had put a heart at the end of it. Did that mean you knew it was a date?

Jason sighed. He certainly hoped so.

The weekend date went good. By the end of it, Jason was sure you knew it was a date. The second one passed, and then the third. The third one was when you hesitantly pecked him on the cheek. The fourth was when he kissed you actually. It wasn’t a long kiss, but it was just enough for him to take you on a fourth date. An actual “will you go out with me on a date” kind of thing.

He took you to a restaurant in the fancy part of things. You two ate food that two broke 16 year olds technically shouldn’t have been able to afford, but Bruce helped Jason out.

Jason drove you home afterwards and discussed the topic of the upcoming summer during the car ride. What you were doing, where he was going. The entire time, Jason had butterflies in his stomach. He wasn’t sure how to act. Was he messing it all up, or were you actually into him?

Once he parked in front of your house and walked you up to the stoop, you looked at him. He noticed you were biting your lip nervously, and god, why did he think that was so hot? “My parents aren’t home.” It was the softest Jason had ever heard you speak, but he knew what you meant. He smiled gently, and kissed you again. This one was destined to last longer, and before either of you realized it, you had opened your door and you were leading him to your bedroom.

That night was one neither of you would forget, and by the end of it, Jason had officially asked out successfully.

You and Jason spent a lot of time together after that. You met his older brother, Dick (who was very happy for Jason, too happy in his opinion) and his dad, Bruce Wayne. Bruce was cool, but very busy all the time.

By two months, Jason still hadn’t told you his identity as Robin, and he was running out of excuses. One day, you confronted him, assuming he was cheating on you. He tried everything, but he had to go out on patrol.

Jason left that night assuming you were broken up. The entire patrol, he wasn’t himself. Truth was, he loved you so much he was afraid of losing you. That had become his greatest fear. It was that night everything went wrong.

You were out taking a late night walk. Down by the pier, a cold wind was blowing, and as you walked past warehouse after warehouse, you pulled your coat tighter.

You were affected as well, and confused about where you and your boyfriend stood. Did you guys just breakup? Did he love you? Did–

A scream echoed from one of the warehouses. You turned, afraid of stepping closer but afraid of leaving the person. Eventually, your curiosity won over and you climbed up several crates to peer into the window.

What you saw inside almost made you scream yourself. Robin, the hero everybody talked about, lay defenseless and bloody on the ground as a tall man-the Joker- whacked him over and over again with a crowbar.

You gasped, wanting to help, but you knew that would be foolish. You would just get in the way for a minute. Tears started to form in your eyes as Robin weakly cried out from the pain. He looked so…helpless.

Joker relentlessly beat him with the crowbar, and Robin’s mask began to come off. You rubbed the tears from your eyes just as the mask fell to the ground.

“No.” was the only thing that you could muster. Jason lay on the ground in the bloody Robin suit. Jason fucking Todd. There was your boyfriend, being beaten to death by the asshole of all assholes. That was why he kept disappearing at night, because he fucking protected the city!

You were mad at yourself for being so cruel to Jason without knowing what was really going on. You barely paid attention as Batman and Nightwing suddenly burst through the windows.

Joker laughed, and said something you couldn’t hear from the outside. Probably taunting Batman as he watched his apprentice get beat to death.

A fight broke out, Batman lunging at Joker as Nightwing rushed to Jason, laying broken on the ground. You had just enough time to duck as a Batarang came swooping out of the hands of the Caped Crusader and straight through the window you were looking through.

It was then you realized how close Jason was to death, and what you needed to do. The window pricked your jacket as you jumped through it, but you didn’t care. Gymnastics back in 6th grade helped when you landed awkwardly. Nightwing spun around, and it wasn’t hard to figure out that was Dick, which meant Bruce was Batman.

However, none of that mattered when Jason was half dead in front of you. Nightwing- Dick- made no effort to stop you as you knelt in front of Jason. “No, no, no.” You cradled his head in your hands, trying hard not to recognize how limp his body was, and how his chest barely moved as he struggled to breathe.

Jason’s eyes were closed, tears running down his face silently. You were crying as well, mumbling curses and things that made no sense.

“Please, don’t be dead. Please, I-I love you.”

You watched Jason make no acknowledgement he could hear you, watched him breathe once more. His chest rose and never fell.

You screamed and buried your head in his costume, not caring about getting blood on your face. Dick pulled you away wordlessly, out of the warehouse. You barely registered that the warehouse exploded behind you a few seconds later.

Dick let you sob into his shoulder for what seemed like hours. Him and Bruce exchanged a short conversation, both riddled with grief.

Six times you and Jason had met, and that was the last.

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd angst #jason todd smut #jason todd fluff #dc comics #robin!jason

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clairecrive · 3 years ago

Note

Hello beautiful person! Do you take requests which ask you to write a second chapter for your writings? If you do, may I ask a second chapter for "Rare"? And if you don't could you please let me know so I can be careful for another time when I ask a request?

I hope this is not something that disturbes or irritates you. I love your writing, it is beautiful and sometimes I read your pieces over and over again. 😁

Thanks for blessing us with your writing. Have a nice day.💕

A/n: First of all anon, thank you so very much for your sweet words! They mean the world to me <3 Also, your request could never irritate me! I love them and I love the fact that you consider me half a decent writer enough to send me your thoughts <3 I'm sorry it took me so long to get around this but I hope you like this and are still around to read it x

I've decided to pair it with a request for juicy time with Eddie. there's no actual smut but it's suggestive let's say.

Warnings: bit of angst, fluff,

Word count: 2.4K

Tags: @mollybegger-blog, @evelynshelby, @br0ck-eddie, @fandom--0verdose, @shadow-of-wonder, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @sopxhiea, @fuseburner, @for-bebbanburg, @crazyclownchick ( fill in this form to be added to my taglist)

Part 1

TOM HARDY MASTERLIST

You weren't exactly new to heartbreak. You had been a teenager after all but your experience with adult relationships had not been that good either.

You knew that you'd be over Eddie even if it may take you some time. It's true that you had only been dating for a few months but you had really grown attached to him. It was one of the things you hated about yourself: the way you got attached way too soon, way too much.

Especially, in this case, seeing as Eddie hadn't been 100% in it in the beginning you had hoped that the more time you'd spend together, he'd see that you weren't so bad and that he'd grow to care for you. At least a little bit.

Turns out you were wrong.

As much as you hated being wrong, the thing that hurt you the most was that despite your best efforts, Eddie still didn't think you were enough for him. And how could you be when the benchmark was perfect Anne?

You stood no chance. You had been a fool for even trying. And now you were experiencing the burn for your foolishness.

This had happened often enough that you had developed a routine for dealing with heartbreak:

1) crying your heart out and indulging your sadness with whatever helped (mostly comfort food and Friends)

2) enough with indulging, it was time to pick yourself up. No more overeating although you still allowed yourself to cry if you felt like it

3) "I don't need him anyway" phase where you'd make a mental list of how your life was before and after whoever you had broken up with to remind you that they weren't as important as you made them out to be

4)"put yourself out there again" phase where you started going out again with the intention of meeting new people or simply having a good time.

As of this time, you were in phase 3. You noticed that there were some of Eddie's things littering around your apartment. So, you picked up a box and collected them with the intention of returning them to him, effectively closing this chapter. As you did, you made that aforementioned list. This time, with the added reason for your break up, it was a bit easier to remind you why breaking up had been the right decision.

When your hands closed on your favourite hoodie of his though, you couldn't help the pang in your heart as a flood of memories hit you.

You and Eddie doing a Friends marathon every Friday night.

Eddie giving this hoodie when you were sick because he knew how much you liked it.

Eddie taking the hoodie off for a whole other reason almost ripping it...

No.

Shaking your head, you pushed those thoughts aside, focusing on the task at hand.

Enough of that. It was over.

It was only a week later that you finally got the time to come around Eddie's apartment. Sure, you could have called him, he could have come himself to pick them up or you could have dropped them at his job but that would have required you to call him. And recalling how that went last time you tried to reach him you decided you'd spare yourself the humiliation of him not ghosting you again.

Taking a deep breath, you straightened your shoulders and knocked on his door.

"Y/n." You were met with a dishevelled Eddie.

He looked like shit but what's new with him. He also looked very surprised to see you at his door and you also couldn't blame it for that. You would have reacted the same way if the roles were reversed.

"Hi, Eddie," you hated your treacherous voice that wobbled when you spoke. Clearing your voice, you tried again.

"Sorry to come here unannounced. I've found some of your stuff in my apartment and I thought you'd like to have them back." You explained as you handed him the box, his eyes taking it in for the first time.

"Oh," he paused as he considered your words. Was that disappointment in his voice? "Thank you, y/n. You shouldn't have." He smiled weakly as he took the box from you, your fingers touching briefly.

"It's not a problem, Eddie. I was just passing by anyway." You and Eddie actually lived far from each other. The truth is that there was no reason for you to be in this part of town if it wasn't for him. Eddie knew that but he was kind enough not to point that out.

He just nodded, accepting your words as he held the box close to his chest.

You awkwardly stared at each other for a while, you didn't know what to say but neither of you wanted to end this exchange quite yet. When you felt that you had been standing like a fool in front of your ex's door, you went to leave but Eddie beat you to it.

"So how have you been?" Your first reaction was to scoff at this attempt of small talk. Neither of you was very good at it. And truthfully, it was rich coming from someone who had not made any effort to keep in contact with you even before your breakup.

The scroll of your shoulders was the only answer Eddie got. You weren't in the mood to pretend nor did you want him to know how you were still suffering for him.

"I should ask that to you." You reverted the question to him. He really didn't look well.

"yeah, it's been a rough couple of weeks," he confessed scratching the back of his head.

"That, I don't find it hard to believe," you hummed as your eyes took him in, really took him in since you knocked at his door. You could also see behind him that his apartment was a mess.

"Yeah, don't have to worry about me though. I'm fine."

"Of course." You nodded at his dismissal, remembering harshly the situation you were in."Well, I'm going to go now. Take care." Cold but still polite you turn around, ready to put this -Eddie and this exchange- behind you.

"Y/n, wait!" he called when you were about to climb down the staircase. "Do you want to have a drink or something?" Stay for a while? he meant but didn't dare to say.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Eddie." You called over your shoulder, hand still on the railing.

"Please, I owe you an explanation." You didn't know if it was the desperate note in his voice or the fact that he really looked like shit but you turned around almost convinced.

"Don't you think it's too late for that, Eddie?"

"Maybe it won't change anything between us but you deserve to know." You knew Eddie and you knew how much he cared about transparency and honesty. This may not mean that you were going to get back together but he was right, you deserved an explanation.

"Okay," you agreed as you walked back and then into his apartment. Eddie closed the door behind him and set the box he was still holding down behind the coat hanger.

The sneak peek you had before was definitely right: Eddie's apartment was even messier than usual.

"Why does it look like a tornado hit your home?" You couldnìt help but point out. You knew Eddie wasn't that bothered by tidiness but this too much even by his standards.

"That would be my fault," a new voice answered you.

At first, you didn't register the difference in tone or accent even though you should have had because Eddieìs voice wasnìt that low or raspy. But then a black tendril entered your vision field catching your attention making you turning your head to better inspect it.

What.the.fuck??

"Eddie?" You asked perplexed, eyes fixed on this thing? even if you were addressing Eddie.

"Y/n meet Venom, Venom meet y/n." He gestured awkwardly with his hands.

"It's so nice to meet you, Eddie's always thinking about you, you know? It's a bit annoying." this time the voice didn't come from a tendril but a face. A fucking alien face with long sharp teeth and wide white eyes.

His words went straight over your head. How the fuck was this true? What were you even seeing? Did this thing come from Eddie's body??

"Fuck, I know I'm heartbroken but now I'm even seeing things?"

"Y/n," Eddie tried to get your attention. You thought you had only thought that but apparently, you had spoken the words. "You're not seeing things, this is part of the explanation I owe you."

"I think it's better if you sit," he said motioning to his couch when you did nothing but stare at Venom. Prompting by Eddie though, you sat down and listened as he spoke.

He told you everything. About Carton Drake about his project with aliens, about Venom and their rather troubled relationship. He even explained how Anne had got involved and how she and Danny had helped him.

It was definitely a lot to take in. But somehow, the thought that he could be lying to you never crossed your mind. The proof was right in front of you, wasn't it? Venom, as he had introduced himself, stood next to Eddie while he spoke. It had never spoken again and you were inwardly thankful for that. That he was giving you space to digest all of this.

"Why didn't you tell me when you came around that day, Eddie?" You asked once you thought you had wrapped your head around it.

"I didn't want you to drag you into this mess," he said with a shrug, head cast down he didn't meet your eyes.

You didn't know how you felt about all of this yet but you nodded anyway. Well, there was nothing you could do anymore, could you? He had already taken care of everything on his own and it wasn't like you had any right to worry about him anymore.

"Thank you for explaining, Eddie. I appreciate your honesty." Did this change anything for you?

"I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you weren't enough of if Anne meant more to me than you did. That's not true but I didn't know how to tell you that without telling you what was happening." He nervously fiddled with his fingers without meeting your eyes.

You could see his point now that you knew what happened. Still, it hurt you that he decided to just keep you out of it without a word. He could have at least told you that something was going on, that he didn't or couldn't tell you anything - not right now. You would have understood and given him space. Did he really act like this to keep you safe or was it a way to dismiss you?

"I don't know if this changes things, Eddie. You still turned up to her when a major life-threatening event happened. I think this tells me everything that I need to know." You point out after a while, eyes fixed on the end of your shoes.

"She has been involved from the moment we broke up, Y/n. Hell, this was the reason we broke up in the first place." Eddie's head snapped up at your words. He looked surprised at your words like he couldn't believe that you thought Anne's involvement had been something he had actively sought out.

"That may as well be true, Eddie but still, you didn't tell me even after everything settled down. If I hadn't come around to give you your stuff I still would be none the wiser."

"I was afraid, y/n. How could I come back to you after how much I had hurt you? 'Sorry if I went m.i.a. for a while, I was infected with a parasite who knows permanently with me?' Come on, y/n, I wouldn't take me back either." Now upset, Eddie started to gesticulate frantically to prove his point. His eyes flickered between yours, he leaned toward you, his hands a touch away from yours as if he wanted to touch you but was preventing himself from doing so.

"I'm not saying I would have believed you straight away but still- aliens are way better than self-loathing you know?" You scoff at him- why was he so upset? He wasn't the one who had been beating himself up since that fight for being a worthless piece of shit, was he?

"I know I've never done a good job at showing you but I do care about you. Deeply." Almost as if he couldn't bear to not be touching you any longer, Eddie now reached for your hands. His hold on them tightening as he spoke the words.

You looked at him for a moment. Aside from that fight, your relationship with him had been good. The start wasn't promising, seeing as he was still taken by Anne but Eddie had treated you good. He was attentive and caring in his own way. Looking back to it now, you realized that the period where you started feeling him pulling back from you was the time when this whole alien thing had started.

But now you had settled this, right? So, could this mean...

"If I give you one more chance to show you," you spoke tentatively, enthralled by the twinkle in his eyes, "do you promise me to be fully transparent with me this time around?"

"What? Why would you do that?" He looked shocked but his eyes were hopeful.

"Are you trying to talk me out of it, Eddie?" You challenged him, arching an eyebrow.

"Like hell I am." He scoffed, a smile on his lips. "Nono, of course I do. I swear, y/n. You'll never feel like you don't matter to me again."

"Good." You gave him a small smile at the gobsmacked expression on his face. Oh, Eddie...

He does nothing but stares at you for a while. Like he hadn't seen you in a while and now that you were in front of him, he wanted to commit to his memory every little detail of your face.

"So," you said after a while, "do you plan to stare at me or would you like to get a head start on your promise?" you provoke him with a suggestive tone.

Eddie's mouth fell a little at that, Venom said something to him but you didn't understand him. Shaking his head, Eddie smirks at you.

"I would like nothing more." And with that, Eddie's lips are on yours making up for the lost time.

#eddie brock #eddie brock x reader #eddie brock x you #eddie brock one shot #eddie brock imagines #eddie brock imagine #eddie brock angst #eddie brock smut #venom #marvel #tom hardy x reader #tom hardy imagines #eddie brock fanfiction #eddie brock ff

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svchengss · 3 years ago

Text

two halves | l.mh

PAIRING. mark lee x reader

GENRE. fluff, heavy angst

WARNINGS. major character death, grief

WORD COUNT. 2.4k

SUMMARY. right after his death, mark watches how you cope with the loss

A/N. i saw this one tiktok and it kinda inspired me to write this

// just to let you guys know, reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !! thank you for reading :D

white walls, white room.

mark scrunched his face, his eyelashes slowly fluttering open, the dark brown iris adjusting the size of the pupils due to the brightness of the walls reflected upon it. a soft groan vibrating from his throat, he assessed his surroundings where nobody or nothing else is present. he looked down to inspect his clothing, hoping that it would give him any clue of this room or space he’s in - an all white outfit. this scene looks exactly like the one in the movies where the characters realize they are dead. except this time, he really is.

THE REALIZATION.

the muffled sounds of cries and sobs rang through his eardrums, triggering a reflex to wake up from the state that he thought was a slumber. he is lying on the hospital bed with the light blue clothing piece, faint light illuminating the space where people are huddled up around him. he waved his right hand in the air to let them - who he later remembered as his family members and friends, know that his eyes are already open. nobody moved even the slightest, the atmosphere being very much dead, scent of medicine intoxicating his mind.

then he saw someone who he holds very dear to his heart - you, enter the hospital room, dropping onto her knees as soon as she saw his state of condition. in an instant, he shot up from his lying position and ran over towards the crying you, shoulders shaking and all. bringing his hands to hold you in his embrace, not even a glance spared by you brought a hundred and one questions to him. why didn’t anybody acknowledge him when he woke up? why can’t you feel his touch?

“mark lee. time of death, 10:23 pm,” the tall doctor with glasses rested on the bridge of his nose announced before leaving the room, holding the clipboard close to his chest. mark gauged the monitor screen next to the bed, the line indicating his heartbeat is no longer showing spikes going up and down - instead becoming a flat line, deafening beep present with it. then he sees himself still laying on the white sheets, eyes still closed and no signs of breathing evident. a surge of panic rushed through his veins.

this can’t be real.

mark rushed into the bathroom, a surprised gasp leaving his lips. his body is semi-transparent, the shape of the toilet bowl can be seen through his left shoulder. his body shakes with terror, slapping himself in the cheeks multiple times just to make sure that this whole fiasco is just a nightmare.

oh my god. no, this is real.

mark stood in the back of the crowd, witnessing the funeral of someone and that someone being him. of course, he’s never expected to get the sight of his own service. his mother is standing beside you, her hands rubbing circles onto your back in an attempt to calm your mourning state. you’re still looking ever so pretty, a black chiffon dress on your body with white pearl necklace on your collarbones and your wavy black hair hanging down your shoulders. not that anybody else would notice, it’s someone’s death after all.

“stay strong, y/n. he will always be in our hearts,” the same rhythm of sentence in tones full of pity being directed towards you. mark’s sister enveloped you into a warm hug despite the chilly atmosphere, whispering comforting words into your ears before getting into the family’s car. you’re not going back home, not yet when you still feel reluctant to let him go.

“why did you leave me?” the only coherent words from your hoarse voice can be heard. mark, who is crouching next to you, is holding his tears back. instead, he sends a sorrowful smile - not that you can see him anyway. is there any way to let you know of his presence?

“goodbye, love. i’ll see you tomorrow. i promise,” you dusted the back of your dress from any dirt or debris, leaving a rose on his tombstone. the thing is, he doesn’t want to part from you. and that’s why his figure is seated beside you in the cab. he grazed his thumb on your knuckles, making you feel tingles rushing through. you pushed the slight thought away, you must be tired to be feeling things.

you slowly opened the door to your apartment, you and mark’s to be exact. the whole house is making those memories make their presence in the back of your head again. the kitchen where you two baked cookies for christmas last year. the bedroom where you snuggled upon his chest, not wanting to start your day just yet. the piano where he sang those cheesy songs for you. the living room where you slow danced at 3 in the morning. his favourite mug resting on the countertop, probably will not be used again. this whole situation is too overwhelming for you. you feel weak.

with each day passing by, you didn’t even miss one without a visit to his resting lot. you would tell him stories of how your day went or something that you read which would made him ponder. the words carved on it are already etched onto your brain.

mark lee. a son, a brother and a loving partner.

the clock hanging on the grey wall has it’s arms stretched out to display the time - two in the morning. you can’t sleep just yet, not having any for the past few days even. dark circles are appearing around your eyes, not yet recovered from the puffiness from all the crying. mark’s heart aches everytime he takes upon your state. he feels very guilty, not that death was his choice after all. it’s simply fate, a cycle of life, a destiny that every single creature on this planet will end up with.

you’ve taken the whole month off work, still feeling ever so helpless. in fact, you can’t even remember the last time you’ve stepped out of the apartment, the night before his passing perhaps? you’ve completely shut yourself out from any interactions - deactivating your social media, not accepting any calls. you just need time to heal.

as if you’re being controlled by some type of mastermind, you shoot up on the balls of your feet, pulling away from the couch. those images of you slow dancing with mark, hands in each other’s holds, your chin rested in the crook of his neck and being ever so engrossed in love are coming back more often now. you trudged to the vinyls arranged neatly on the shelf, picking one before placing it on the turntable - frank sinatra, one of his all time favourites.

holding your hands up at about his usual height, you start twirling around. you can almost see the outline of his smile, his features right in front of you. except, he is. he’s been observing your moves the whole night. mirroring your current position, as if you can really see him, it’s a miracle for him. overjoyed actually, he doesn’t realize the salty tears streaming down his cheekbones and so are yours.

“thank you for coming, dear. it’s a pleasure seeing you in what, weeks?” a laugh escaped the woman’s lips. you reciprocated her hug before stepping into the living room. it’s been a long time since you’ve been here, was it in january? mrs. lee had invited you over for a simple dinner, checking up on how you’ve been. you can see that the family is still struggling over his passing, the way his sister’s eyes are not twinkling as usual makes it hard to cover up the lie.

“you see, this was on his high school graduation day. he was very happy that day, doing all sorts of dances and stuff. finally escaping from hell as he said,” she giggled. she’s been displaying all sorts of memoirs to you, photo albums and photographs scattered on the wooden floor. to be honest, you’ve never seen these before. all smiles mark lee, easy to notice among the crowd. not that he’s changed, he’s still that boy now. mark just sat on the couch - his favourite spot, observing the throwback session going on. if he’s still here, his sister for sure is going to tease the hell out of him.

“he told us so much about you, you know? as if everything reminds him of you, that boy is lovestruck. really,” that sudden confession made your tongue dry, unable to find a perfect response. you were really that special to him.

“drive safe honey, you can come over whenever you want. you know you’re always welcome here, right?” mrs. lee handed you the small box filled with some things you’re going to keep. she kissed both of your cheeks, mr. lee standing behind her giving you a small wave. a small smile crept up onto your face before igniting the engine, turning your wheels out of the housing area.

the netflix show is playing on the television, the faint voices of the characters playing in the background. you’re sitting on the floor, flipping through the photo journal you two decorated throughout your one year of relationship. you can see his little scribbles and doodles, often a little dinosaur symbolising your always grumpy personality.

in one photo, a golden birthday hat is nicely placed on your head with him kissing your right cheek. you remember clearly, a surprise party for you last year. in the following ones, they are mostly candid shots - you blowing out the candles while he looks at you full of love, him eating a portion of your dish while you pout your lips. you would say it was the night of your life, spending it with the guy who stole your heart.

the next page of the journal is a shot of mark taking a photo of you in the park. you suppose it was taken by donghyuck? that one picture of you was stuck as his lock screen wallpaper for a while, you remembered getting so embarrassed over it. mark would give you the same excuse every time you questioned him about it, implying that the sight of you would light up his whole day. cheesy really, but that was what remained as memories of the past, tied neatly in your heart.

the rain trickling against your window eventually made you doze off to wonderland, creating the perfect chance for mark to browse through the journal in your hands. carefully lifting it from yours so that you won’t be stirred from your sleep, he settled down in the space beside your sleeping figure. slowly turning the pages, he smiled fondly at each photo holding a thousand moments that can’t be recreated ever again. some of them would make him giggle. he kneeled down slightly to place a soft kiss on your forehead, making you squirm a little due to the faint touch.

“give him a chance. i’m not saying that you should forget mark but it’s been months, you should live up a little,” yerim’s voice sounding concerned from the other end of the line. perhaps she’s right but you just need more time. but how much longer? you’re afraid you yourself have no specific answer for that enquiry.

you’ve been feeling better by now, welcoming people back into your life and carrying out the same daily routine of yours. going to work, buying groceries, going to the drive-thru and whatnot. of course, the void is still obvious - coming back home to an empty atmosphere instead of him waiting for you on the couch, sometimes dozing off, no more weekend cafe runs. but at least you’re trying your best. you bid your goodbyes before tapping the red button, ending the call. plopping the device onto the mattress, you stared at the white ceiling, deep in your own thoughts.

you should give him a chance. live up a little.

yes, you should.

getting hold of the phone and immediately opening the messages app, you searched for jungwoo’s number. he’s been trying to take you out for dinner for a while now. you still remember his exact words, whenever you’re ready he’s always there, waiting for you. you’re not really sure about that particular question but it wouldn't hurt to give it a try, right?

typing in the words ‘okay, sure’ is already a pressure for you but you still proceeded to press the send button. glancing at the clock showing the time, the notification ping redirected your focus onto the screen.

jungwoo: cool, is tomorrow night okay with you? i’ll drive, of course :)

tomorrow night. okay, tomorrow night.

an elegant red gown is wrapping your curves perfectly, a thin necklace with the seashell charm around your neck while your lips is decorated with the dark red tone, highlighting your poise appearance. hearing the doorbell ring, you tidied up the dresser as your eyes landed onto the picture frame holding a photo of you and mark. a sad feeling crept into your heart but you pushed it away, opening the door to reveal jungwoo in a black and white tuxedo.

you would say that the dinner went well, none of his questions or chatters crossing any borderline. he’s just so polite, even you are amused. feeling comfortable with his presence, the small gap in between is eventually closing down since you’ve learned so much about each other during the other few dates. one night completely changed it for you, him offering you a dance at some event he’s bringing you with.

you observed that his moves are slightly similar to mark’s - not completely of course, mark’s is very unique and very…mark-ish. for the first time ever in the recent turn of events, you flashed a genuine smile. one that is not just for show, one that only comes out when you’re truly elated, one that you only manage to give to certain. mark just observed the scene from a distance, admiring how you’ve managed to find the spark of happiness you once lost.

alas, mark saw his other half become full again with another, her eyes twinkling with the same joy but this time, it’s not him in the reflection.

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jenstar1992-2 · 4 years ago

Note

May I please request an older!Captain Rex x reader drabble where you're married and there with Rex, Gregor and Wolffe when Ezra and the rebels come to Rex for help?

Ask and you shall receive. 😊 Here it is, took me a minute to start writing again, but I finally got around to it. I know this is not really a drabble, I didn’t start out with the intention on making it long, especially not THIS long, but here we are. It's been a good minute since I last wrote anything so hopefully this is ok, and I hope you like it. Also, sorry it went a bit off the rails there, did not mean for it to get so angsty and junk, but my brain was going, and my fingers just kept typing, tried to end it happy though so… yeah.

Trust

Pairing: Older! Rex X Fem! reader

Warnings: Language, angst, mentions of order 66, reader being very protective of her boys, feels all around really, a bunch of married couple fluff (not really a warning, just wanted to mention it), it does get a little saucy at the end, nothing crazy, more talk than anything else

Word Count: 11,113

"We've got company", you hear Gregor say as he eyes the screen in front of him. You stand from your seat and make your way over to him.

"What is it", you ask, looking over his shoulder to inspect the image on the screen for yourself.

"Looks like an auxiliary starfighter of some kind."

"What's it doing out here?"

"I'm more concerned about who's inside it", Rex says from behind you. You turn to face your husband, giving him a curious look.

"Who the hell would be all the way out here? We're in the middle of nowhere", you say, holding your arms out and gesturing to the space around you before folding them at your chest.

"Exactly, who in their right mind would land in the middle of nowhere, and conveniently right in our path."

"You think it's something we should be worried about?"

"Don't know, just seems a bit suspicious is all", he says, lifting his hand to his chin, rubbing it with his index finger in thought.

There's a short moment of silence before you break it. "Well", you say with a little clap of your hands to break Rex out of his thoughts and bring him back to reality. "Let's check it out, who knows, maybe their friendly." You walk to the door and look back to the three men, giving them a smile and waiting for them to follow.

Wolffe chuckled and shook his head. "Ah (Y/N), always the optimist." His comment making you smile a little wider.

"Hey, it's gotten me this far", you say with a little shrug.

They all chuckle at that as they move to join you by the door. Wolffe and Gregor each grabbing their weapons on the way. You give them a confused look before Wolffe states, "Just in case."

You smile and nod, absentmindedly placing your hands to your hips, where they ghost over your lightsabers that you keep strapped there. You didn't know why you kept them on, it's not like you ever used them, never had to after coming to this deserted planet, where nothing much ever happens. But you kept them there, if for no other reason than it just felt wrong not having them on you. Your lightsabers were an extension of yourself after all, at least that's what your master taught you. As you reach to open the door, your hand gets caught in a gentle grip. You turn, raising your eyebrow at Rex who only offers you a soft smile. "I'll go first cyar'ika."

A small grin forms on your lips. "As always", you reply, moving aside to let him take the lead. As he passes you, he places a soft kiss on your forehead.

"Yep, always", he confirms before opening the door and walking out into the bright sunlight, you and the other two men right behind him.

You walk up to the railing and gaze down warily at the group that had just exited the starfighter. "It's a bunch of old geezers, well mostly old geezers", one of them says, a lasat from the looks of him.

"Well- armed old geezers", the Mandalorian girl adds.

"What do you want", Rex asks, sounding a bit gruffer than usual. You guessed he was trying to sound more intimidating. You would've laughed if you weren't also trying keep a serious front.

"We're looking for someone", responded the man in the group.

"Well, that's too bad, cause there's nobody out here", Rex says while leaning on the railing.

The boy speaks up next and asks, "Hey, uh, does the number 7567 mean anything to you?" You all straighten simultaneously.

"What did you just say", you asked, a small ball of anger beginning in your chest.

"Uh, I said 7567", the boy responded.

You looked over to Rex who still had his gaze set on the group below. "Well, that's my birth number", he tells them.

You see the man's eyes light up with recognition, like he's had a realization. "They're clones", he says angrily. He then pulls out a lightsaber and ignites it, stepping in front of the others.

"It's the jedi, they've come for revenge", you hear Wolffe say from your right before he fires a few shots at the man, who blocks them easily. You then see the man take a few more steps forward, looking like he wanted to jump up to your level and take you all out, but you weren't about to let him get that far. Acting on instinct, you grabbed your sabers from your hips and jumped down to the ground, landing just a few feet from him, your sabers igniting as soon as your feet hit the dirt. You stood in a defensive stance, ready to attack if he made even a single wrong move.

"I wouldn't if I were you", you told him in a tone that said you weren't messing around.

"She's a jedi", the boy said from behind the man, surprise clear in his voice.

"Stand down troopers, that's an order", you heard Rex bark from above. "(Y/N)", he then said in a softer tone. You knew what he wanted, but you were far from relenting, you needed to keep your men safe.

"Not gonna happen", you responded, still not taking your eyes off the man in front of you.

"Kanan stop, we have to trust them remember?" The boy seemed to be trying to reason with the man. You continued to glare at him, an action which he reciprocated. You stayed like that for a few more seconds until you heard your name being called again, even more gently than before.

"Please cyare, put them away", Rex calls down, trying to keep his voice as soft as possible. He knows all you need is a little push to send you over the edge at this point. You were always like this when anyone or anything threatened the safety of your men, you'd been that way for as long as he’d known you and he didn't see that ever changing. Not that he didn't respect the hell out of you for it. He and his brothers always appreciated the way you defended them with such vigor. However, Rex also knew that this wasn't the time for that. Something told him that they should be trying to make friends in this situation, instead of starting a fight.

"Not until he does", you finally reply.

The boy puts a hand on the man's shoulder, giving him a pleading look. Kanan sighs before deactivating his lightsaber and returning it to his hip. He then looks at you expectantly. You regard him for a few more moments before you too put your sabers away. Once you re-attached them, you turned and jumped back up to your original position, grabbing the railing and easily pulling yourself up and over it, before coming to stand beside your husband. You cross your arms over your chest, still feeling a bit defensive. Rex could feel your tension and responded by wrapping an arm around your waist to hold you closer to his side, feeling you relax just a bit.

The boy took this opportunity to make his introductions. "My name's Ezra. This is Kanan. That's Sabine and Zeb", he said while pointing out each of his comrades. "It's nice to meet you, 7567."

Rex felt you stiffen a bit in his grasp. You hated when anyone referred to him by his number and not his name. It had started as a pet peeve, but as time went on you just saw it as downright disrespectful and then it just straight up pissed you off. Rex knew this and it was just one of the millions of reasons he loved you so much. He could feel you prickling up with anger again. He moved the hand holding your waist to your hip and gave it a light squeeze in an attempt to calm the storm brewing inside you. This was your way of telling each other that everything was okay and not to be upset, light squeezes or soft touches, usually followed by a reassuring look. After this he again felt you start to calm. It was crazy the affect you two had on each other, it was damn near magic.

"Actually, my name is Rex. Captain, 501st Clone Battalion. Meet Commanders Gregor and Wolffe", Rex introduced the men standing behind you before looking to you, pulling you to him in a tighter one-armed embrace, "and this beautiful ball of fire is our General, (Y/F/N, Y/L/N). I know she seems a bit rough around the edges, but once you get to know her, you'll find she's pretty amazing." You looked to Rex after your introduction to notice him looking at you with an expression of pride, like he had just showed off his most prized possession, which in a way, you were. Rex never had much, but he always had you, and that's all he ever wanted. Your love and adoration were all he needed to feel as though he had a fulfilling life. Something he reminded you of on more than one occasion. You couldn't help but smile back at him, that same adoration clearly visible in your gaze.

You both were brought back to the present when you heard Ezra's voice addressing you. "We were sent by Ahsoka", he told you. Your ears perked up at the mention of your friend, turning to look at the boy.

"Ahsoka?"

Rex grinned. "Ahsoka Tano. We fought by her side from the battle of Christophsis to the siege of Mandalore", he said reminiscently.

"A friend of Ahsoka's is a friend of ours", you said, finally offering the group a genuine smile. Ezra smiled back, glad to see the fighting was over.

***

You and the boys had decided to help the crew of the Ghost to find a place to set up their rebel base. You could tell they were grateful for your help, most of them anyway. Kanan still seemed to distrust your little squad. When you thought about it you couldn't totally blame him. From what you could tell, Kanan was a young man, which meant that he would've still been a young padawan near the end of the clone wars, which also meant that he had to endure the horror that was Order 66 at a young age. You remember how terrible it had been for you, Ahsoka, and Rex. Not to mention the countless others who had to watch their allies, their friends turn on them, not knowing why. You had felt their pain, their fear, their feeling of betrayal, all before they were silenced. Then there were the clones who had their chips removed and had been traumatized at what they had almost done, what most of their brothers did do, even if it was out of their control. It took a heavy toll on all of you, and even though so much time had passed, it still hurt like hell. So yeah, you could understand his feelings, but if you were going to all work together successfully, then he had to lay some of that aside and learn to trust you, and the clones. You knew it wouldn't be easy, but you figured it couldn't hurt to try and talk to him.

You were walking topside on your way to the Phantom for what you knew was going to be an uncomfortable talk, at best. As you approached the vessel you saw Rex standing by its entrance talking to whoever was inside. "We all have a choice", he said as you reached his position. He then turned to walk away, stopping after a few steps when he saw you standing there. He had a saddened expression that made your heart hurt, but before you could ask what was wrong, he walked past you, only stopping for a moment to bring your forehead to his, a gesture that meant he wasn't okay, but he would be. You nodded and let him leave, then turned to continue your little mission.

As you walked to the entrance of the phantom Ezra emerged, giving you a sad smile before passing you to join the rest of his crew up front. Once he was gone you focused your attention on Kanan who was facing away from you, fiddling with his lightsaber. "Hey", you called, trying to sound like you weren't still a little pissed at him.

"Hi", he said, rather unenthusiastically.

"Well, aren't you all warm a fuzzy", you said sarcastically.

"Can I help you with something, because if not then please leave me be, I have things to do." You rolled your eyes. This was going to be harder than you thought.

"Mm, yeah, that seems real important", you say, pointing to the saber in his hand that he had been detaching and re- attaching the same piece on for the past minute. He gave you a look over his shoulder, but you ignored it continuing. "Anyway, I was hoping we could talk."

"About what?"

You crossed your arms. "You know what." He just continued his mindless fiddling, so you sighed and went on. "Look, I understand your feelings towards the clones, I even understand your feelings towards me, but if we're going to work together here then you need to put all that aside, even if it's just for the time being. Do you think you could do that?" You looked at him with a sympathetic, yet hopeful look.

"Put it aside, put it aside?" His voice had raised to where he was just short of yelling at you. "How do you suggest I do that, huh? Maybe to you the war was a long time ago, but to me it feels like it could've been yesterday. The pain is still fresh to me, I can't forget it or set it aside as I please, it's always there and it always will be. I can't just sit here and act like I'm okay when everything here reminds of that awful day, the day I lost my master, the one time she needed me most and I couldn't save her. How can I put it aside when every time I turn around here I see the faces that murdered her?” That was it, that was what tore the last piece of patience from you.

"ENOUGH!" He froze, obviously not expecting the amount of anger that now radiated off you in waves. "Listen, you son of a bitch, I've tried to be patient, I've tried to be understanding, hell, I tried to be genuinely nice to you, but clearly you don't respond to nice, so this is how it's gonna go." You grabbed him by the front of his shirt and brought his face only inches from yours. "You are going to buck the kriff up and get over your bantha shit until this is over, and if you hurt or disrespect my men again, you won't be leaving this planet intact, do I make myself clear?" You made sure to emphasize those last five words.

He looked at you, still shocked, for a moment before narrowing his eyes and giving you a bitter, "Yes Ma'am."

You instantly released your grip, letting him go. "Good, as long as we're on the same page, you can go back to your 'oh so important' work." You made you way back to the door but stopped just as your one foot passed the threshold. You turned slightly before saying in a low voice, "You know, you’re not the only one that lost people that day." You paused as so many faces flashed through your mind, all the friends you lost, even ones before the end of the war, all the faces that plagued your thoughts so often. "Survivor’s guilt is a hell of a thing, believe me, I know... we all know", and that's all you left him with before you quickly made your exit, desperately trying to keep the tears at bay, you weren't about to show him that kind of weakness in you, not when you had to stay strong, not when you had your family to protect.

You made your way to the front with the others, seeing Ezra and Sabine leaning on the rail, talking casually. Sabine was the first to notice you approaching. "Oh, hey General (Y/L/N)", she said, smiling as she turned to fully face you. Her smile quickly faded when she took in your expression. "Are you okay", she asked, her voice laced with genuine concern.

You stopped in front of her, finally looking up to meet her gaze. "Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah I'm alright", you replied, giving her a reassuring smile, hoping it was believable. "Oh, and you don't need to call me that. It's (Y/N). Not need for formalities with me, no matter what the boys say." She nodded, turning back to lean on the rail as you moved to stand between the two teens, copying their actions. "So, what were you two talking about before I interrupted", you asked, hoping that a casual conversation with some young bloods would help get your mind off of that upsetting talk you had only moments ago.

"Nothing much, just that you guys seem to have a pretty nice setup here, living the quiet life and all", Ezra said, gesturing toward the modified tank you were all currently on.

You chuckled. "I don’t know if quiet is the word I'd use, if there's one thing these boys are not, it’s quiet, but I get your meaning", you said, smiling at the young teen.

"It makes me wonder though." You turned at Sabine's words to look at the girl. "Wonder what", you asked.

"Well, I can see how this life is desirable for the clones, I mean I'm sure the war took its toll on everyone, but it must've even more so on them. So, a nice quiet life of isolation seems like a nice reprieve if anything else", she said, pausing to look at you, seeming to contemplate her next words before continuing her thought. "But you’re a jedi."

"And", you questioned, cocking an eyebrow.

"Well, all the jedi I know can't seem to stay in one place for very long, not unless there's a point to it anyway. Plus, if anyone should want the downfall of the empire, it should be the jedi. You guys were peacekeepers after all, and with the empire in control there hasn't been any true piece to be found. I don't know, I guess I just thought you'd be fighting with the rebellion, instead of hanging out here slinging for joopa with retired clone troopers." She looked at you with a confused expression.

You sighed before responding, "I get your logic, and you're right, if anyone deserves a quiet life away from all the violence out in the galaxy, it's the clones. We all went through it and it was bad for all of us, but they really got screwed more than any of us in my opinion. We at least had some semblance of a choice in the matter, but the clones, they were forced into a war they had nothing to do with, and not even a light at the end of the tunnel to work toward. Most clones had no idea what would happen to them after the war, or what they would do. If you ask me, these boys deserve much more than this 'quiet' life." You leant over the railing again, looking to the ground below. "You're right about the rest too. We were peacekeepers, at least, we were supposed to be, and I do want the empire to fall, but...", you paused, not sure why you were divulging so many of the thoughts you'd kept to yourself for so long, even during the war, you hadn't fully voiced your opinion on these topics with anyone but Rex, and that was only in confidence, in those precious moments when it was just the two of you, the world outside a distant thought as you held each other and talked throughout the night. These and other hard topics would come up now and then, but you'd never have thought that you'd be here telling those same thoughts to two teens who you'd only just met earlier that day. You realized it was because, for reasons unknown to you, you trusted them, and you guessed that was enough. "When the war ended, and the empire took power, I was lost. We all were", you continued. "Ahsoka, Rex, and I, we were together when it happened, and if it hadn't been for that, well, I don't know where I'd be right now. Maybe I would've joined the rebellion, if I had somehow been able to survive on my own. But that's not how things played out. I was able to keep those closest to me and then I had a decision to make. Join another fight and risk the one thing that gives my life purpose or keep them safe and away from the danger." You stood straight, looking to Sabine. "We all have a choice, and I made mine. I chose family, I chose him."

"Rex", she said, confident in her understanding of your words. You gave her a short nod, then looked away, staring at the empty landscape before you.

It remained silent for a moment until Ezra spoke up, wanting to voice the question that had been on his mind. "Rex said that he never betrayed his jedi, is that true?"

You smiled, turning your attention to Ezra now. "Yes, it's true. It wasn't easy though, those damn chips really did their jobs well. I had never seen him fight so hard against anything the way he did with that thing. Imagine fighting your own body and mind simultaneously because that's what he did, for us. He didn't want to hurt us, and his hesitation gave us the chance we needed to escape. I had never been more relieved than I was to see that damn thing removed from his head. I owe Ahsoka a lot for that, it was her quick thinking that saved him in the end. Well, her... and Fives", you said, a sad expression taking over your features as you thought of your fallen friend, and the sacrifice he made trying to save you all.

"Who's Fives", you heard Ezra ask from beside you.

"A good man, one of the best, who deserved better", you said somberly.

The silence that settled over the three of you was thick with conflicting emotions and full of unasked questions that you were sure would stay that way, which you were grateful for.

You almost jumped at the sound of the door sliding open behind you, turning around to see Rex coming though it towards the three of you. "I've assembled a list of potential bases and clearance codes and a few protocols the imperials still use. Should be of some use", he tells Ezra, who promptly thanked him. Sabine then went inside to collect some data tapes. Rex came to stand beside you. "So, what'd I miss out here", he asked, looking between you and Ezra.

"Oh, nothing much, just telling the kids some old war stories", you said, trying to make it sound as if it had been as simple as that.

"Oh yeah? Hope they were some of the good ones", he said, grinning at you.

"Were there any good ones, because I don't remember the war being all that fun." You hadn't even noticed Kanan enter the vicinity. You instantly frowned and crossed your arms, giving him a look that told him not to test you. He heeded the warning and turned away from you all, looking outward and shaking his head in disapproval, but he stayed silent.

"Actually, (Y/N) was telling us about what you did for her and Ahsoka, about how you saved them", Ezra interjected.

Rex scoffed at that. "If memory serves, it was the other way around. Without her and Commander Tano, I don't think I'd be standing here today", he said, looking back to you, his gaze turning to one of pure adoration. You couldn't help but smile back at him.

Ezra smiled, a knowing look in his eye. "So, I guess you were telling the truth after all. You didn't betray your jedi."

You both turned your attention back on the boy. "Nope. Even married one of 'em", he responded, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you flush against his side. “Best decision I ever made too.”

You sent a sideways grin his way. “Yeah, only took you forever to ask”, you said, finally dropping your arms to mimic his hold and wrap one around his waist.

He laughed, “Sorry cyar'ika. I would’ve asked sooner but we were in the middle of a war.”

“I know, I know”, you said, lifting your free hand to let it caress his cheek lightly before coming to rest your curved finger under his chin. “I just like messing with you”. Rex continued to grace you with a soft smile. But soon your quiet moment was ruined by someone’s loud scoffing, causing you to drop your hand and glare at the offender. “You have something to say, Ponytail”, you asked, your hand now going to your hip, your other staying securely around your husband, acting as your lifeline to sanity. You knew you shouldn’t let this guy rile you up, but you couldn’t help it, he was just so infuriatingly stubborn and took every chance he could to be rude.

“Yeah actually, I do have something to say…”, he started to say, but Ezra tried to intervene.

“Kanan, maybe you shouldn’t. They’re doing us a favor here remember. So maybe we should be, oh I don’t know, nice”, he said, giving his master an almost pleading look.

Kanan scoffed once more, crossing his arms over his chest. “Nice, you want me to be nice? I don’t know Ezra, it’s kind of hard to be nice to someone who not only chooses clones over her own people, but then come to find she broke her code to have a relationship with one of them. Then to top it all off, she goes off to conspire with the traitors”, he said, raising his voice.

You let go of Rex to cross your arms as well, but feeling the rage start to build in you Rex kept his hold on you, knowing if he didn’t this might turn into an all-out fist fight, or worse. “My people huh? Well, I don’t know how things were for you in the order, but let’s just say that by the end of the war, my faith in the jedi was heavily skewed. I couldn’t trust the order anymore, not like I used to. The only people I could truly trust were my friends and my men, and most times they were one in the same. I know you have a chip on your shoulder when it comes to clones, and, as I said before, I get it. However, I can tell you something with absolute certainty, and that is that my husband is no traitor. Rex is a good man, and loyal as hell. For as long as I’ve known him, never once has my faith in him been shaken, not even on that day. He would’ve laid his life down to save Ahsoka and I, damn near did too, just like countless times before. So many of those men risked their lives for me and the other jedi over the course of the war, and I can never thank them enough for that. I knew my men, and they never would’ve turned on us unless they were forced to. It was out of their control, and I can never hold hatred in my heart for them because of it.” You lowered your arms to rest at your sides, deciding you didn’t want to start another fight, and sighed. “Look, I know I can’t tell you how to feel, and I know you’re angry and still grieving. I also know that, that pain will never truly go away.” You see his angry expression falter a bit at your words, his arms releasing a small amount of tension. “I’m sorry about your master, but don’t let her death shape your feelings towards everything that reminds you of it. Don’t let your feelings blind you from the truth.”

He looked you square on the eye then. “How do you know you aren’t letting your feelings blind you from the truth”, he asked bitterly.

You gave this some thought before answering. Meeting his eyes, you said, “Because, at the end of the day, I never let those feelings control my actions. I could love Rex and still do my duty and so could he.” You gestured to Rex, who was now watching you as you spoke. “We never let our relationship get in the way of our responsibilities.”

“She’s right”, Rex spoke up, finally taking his eyes from you to direct his words to Kanan. “Even though it might’ve been hard sometimes, we never let anything keep us from dutifully serving the republic. We had agreed in the very beginning, nothing would sway us from playing our parts in the war, not even our love for each other.” He looked to you with a solemn expression, and you knew he was reliving the same memories that you were in that moment. Remembering all the times you two had parted ways, off on your own missions, saying a bitter goodbye, not knowing if it would be your last.

You were snapped out of your memories when Kanan finally spoke, “That… that must’ve been tough.” You both looked back to him but kept silent so he could finish. “Living day in and day out, with that fear of not knowing what day might be your last was something I think we all felt during the war, and that was hard to cope with at times. But to have that and feel that same fear for another person at the same time… that couldn’t have been easy, and I can tell you that to an extent, I understand how that is now. You never know what’s coming, and you can only hope that the person you care for survives it all, because if they don’t… well, you don’t know what you’ll do.” Kanan’s eyes were cast to the ground beneath him, a sullen look adorning his features.

Ezra stared at his master with a sad but understanding look. Clearly, he knew of who Kanan was referring to, you thought.

After letting a thick silence fill the area around you all for some time, you finally decided it was time to try and end this squabble, for real this time. You cleared your throat. “So… can we come to a truce then”, you asked, stepping from Rex’s hold and moving toward Kanan, holding out your hand for him to shake. He eyed it for a moment, then looked up to meet your eyes. You gave him a hopeful lopsided grin and a little shrug. Come on, what do you have to lose.

He slowly extended his hand, grabbing yours in a firm handshake. “Okay, truce, but I’m still going to be keeping a close eye on you all while we’re here”, he said with a serious tone before he gave you a small grin.

You let out a light huff of laughter and said, “I’d be surprised if you didn’t.” You released his hand and made your way back into your husbands waiting arms. You gave each other a quick hug before turning back to face Ezra who was now smiling at the two of you. “Well, I’m glad that’s settled. So, can we all be friends now”, he asked, making all three of you chuckle.

Suddenly the door next to you slid open and Sabine emerged looking upset, waving a holopad in the air. You were about to ask her what was wrong, but she spoke first. “The clones gave us up. They warned the Empire we’re here”, she said in a huff.

“Wait what”, Ezra asked, shocked.

“You’re mistaken. We would never do that”, Rex said, reaching for the holopad, clearly confused.

Sabine snatched it away from his grasp. “I found the binary transmission to the Empire”, she said, pointing to the screen in her hand, “and there are messages Ahsoka sent to Rex and (Y/N) that they never answered.”

“What”, you and Rex said simultaneously.

“We never got any messages from Ahsoka”, you stated, peering to look at the screen of the holopad that Sabine had handed over to Rex.

“See I knew it, I knew they couldn’t be trusted”, Kanan said, walking toward Rex, pointing accusatively.

“Kanan wait”, Ezra said, holding a hand up to stop the man’s approach. He then turned to face you, Rex, and Wolffe, who had just joined you, and asked, “Is this true?”

Rex just stared at the screen for a few seconds before you saw a flash of realization light in his eyes. He then turned to the man behind you. “Wolffe, what did you do”, he asked, not sounding too happy. You turned around to look at Wolffe, who now had his back turned to you all.

“I…I contacted the Empire. If they found out we were helping jedi they’d wipe us out”, he said, still with his back to you.

“Wolffe how could you”, you asked, not being able to fully hide the hurt from your voice.

Wolffe turned to face you with a saddened expression, your voice clearly working on his emotions. “I… I’m sorry, I didn’t… I just… I’m sorry”, he said, looking to his feet shamefully.

You could hear Kanan speaking behind you, but you weren’t paying attention to what was being said, too focused on wrapping your head around why your friend would do this.

“Why Wolffe, why would you put us at risk like this”, you asked.

“I… I just wanted to protect us, they’d kill us if they knew we were harboring jedi”, he said, looking back up at you.

“Hello, you’ve been harboring a jedi for years now, why is this any different?”

“No, you’re not, I mean, you haven’t been a jedi in a long time, if anything your one of us now.”

“The Empire won’t see it that way”, you said, looking at him with a disappointed frown. “So, what was your plan exactly, call the Empire and let them capture the jedi, do who knows what to them? Were you gonna let them take me too?”

His eyes went wide, and he looked right into yours. “No! No, I would never let them hurt you, we would never let them hurt you. You’re family, aliit. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking straight, I know that now. Please forgive me (Y/N)”, he said, looking at you like a dejected puppy. You knew you couldn’t stay mad at him for long, especially since it clearly was a mistake on his part, and not a totally conscious one. Wolffe struggled with things like this sometimes, forgot who was truly responsible for all that happened, and wasn’t always sure of who he could trust. The only exceptions being his brothers and you. He knew he could always trust his family. This is why you found it hard to continue to be upset with him, so instead you gave in with a heavy sigh and wrapped your arms around him in a hug. He responded by hugging you back, whispering another shame filled apology.

“I know, I forgive you Wolffe”, you say before pulling away to look him in the eye, “but you have to make this right. These people are not the enemy, they’re our allies, and we have to protect them too.”

He searched your eyes for a moment, and in seeing your resolve gave you a tight nod, confirming that he’d found his own.

***

As it turned out, fixing Wolffe’s mistake wasn’t going to be as easy as you had thought. Unbeknownst to you, there had been a probe droid on board watching you all, for how long you weren’t sure, but it managed to damage the Phantom’s engine, which meant your new friends were stuck with you all for the time being, something you could tell didn’t make Kanan to happy. Rex had managed to destroy the probe, but the Empire was still on its way, and all you could do was prepare for the inevitable fight that was to come.

Everything happened quite suddenly, and before you knew it the Empire had arrived. They were using some new contraptions that neither you nor the clones had ever seen before, the others called them “walkers”. While impressed, the boys quickly stopped their analysis of the machines and came up with a plan. Retreat into the sandstorm that was brewing behind you to scramble their scanners and use the jedis’ force sight to maneuver your way out. This worked, but the imperials were soon gaining on your position once more. Once you exited the storm Rex instructed the others to leave, with the walkers still in the storm this was their only chance to escape back to their ship without being shot down. Most of them were on board with this plan, but Ezra didn’t want to leave you all behind.

“We can’t just abandon them”, Ezra said, still trying to convince Kanan to let them help you.

“You’re not abandoning anyone. We’re covering your escape. Now go”, Rex said in a commanding tone. He then turned to you and in a softer, but still authoritative voice said, “(Y/N), I want you to go with them.”

“What”, you asked incredulously. “No way.”

Rex sighed and took your hands in his. “Please cyare, those things are going to overrun us, and I don’t want you to be here when they do. I want you to escape with them, I want you to be safe”, he said, his eyes pleading with you to listen, just this once, but you wouldn’t have it.

“No Rex. If you’re going to fight, then so am I, and if this is where it ends, then I’m going to be right here beside you”, you tell him, releasing yourself from his grasp in order to bring your hands to cup his face, bringing his forehead to meet yours. Your eyes close as you say your next words. “If we’re going to die, then we’re going to do it like we’ve done everything else, together.”

You hear Rex sigh once more and you open your eyes to look at him. A small grin starts at the corner of his mouth, “You’re so stubborn, you know that?”

You chuckled lightly. “Yes, I am, and that’s why you love me”, you said, raising an eyebrow and giving a cocky grin. He shook his head at you, but relented, knowing full well he was not going to win this argument.

You both looked back to Ezra who still stood at the entryway of the Phantom, looking sadder than you’d seen him yet. You frowned and walked over to him, placing your hands atop the boy’s shoulders and bending down so you were at eye level. “Hey, it’s okay, we’ll be alright. We have each other’s backs, and that’s all we’ve ever really needed. Besides, we’ve faced worse than this”, you say, trying to reassure him.

“It’s just…”, he started, but you cut him off with a light shake of his shoulders.

“Come on, you gotta focus here. The most important thing for you to do right now is get out of here and get that information back to the rebellion, got it?” He nodded and looked to his feet. You hooked a finger under his chin and brought it up so he would look at you. “You did great out there you know, keep that up and you’ll make one hell of a jedi someday”, you said with an encouraging smile. He gave you a sad smile back before suddenly launching toward you, catching you in a tight hug. You were surprised at first, but soon hugged him back, smiling at the gesture. You had never had any kids of your own, but you thought that this might be close to how motherhood would feel. You had just met this kid, but you were already very proud of him and the actions he had displayed over the time he’d been with you, and although you were sad to see him go you knew he’d be alright, and that brought you an unexpected sense of comfort. A few moments later you finally pulled away, smiling as you told him, “Now go.”

Ezra nodded again, this time a little more confidently, and backed into the starfighter. You moved, walking backwards, stopping to stand next to Rex as you watched them take off. Once they were airborne you turned to your husband with a knowing grin. “So, do we have an actual plan for taking those things down, or are we just winging it”, you asked.

He chuckled. “Well, unless you have any last-minute ideas, I think winging it is our only option”, he said, shrugging.

“Good”, you said, placing your hands on your hips, “Because that was my idea.” He laughed at your sudden perkiness, it reminded him of the old days when you two would exchange snarky comments in the heat of battle, it made the terrors on the battlefield a little easier to deal with and often helped to temporarily relieve his stress. “Now, let’s get to work”, you said and began to walk to the front of the tank. Before you could get more than two steps away you felt a tug on your wrist and were suddenly pulled against Rex’s chest. You looked up at him, a slightly surprised look on your face. He smiled and brought a hand to the back of your neck, bringing you into a deep, passionate kiss, which you immediately melted into, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in even more. You knew this fight would most likely be your last and it was clear he was thinking the same, so you decided to make this moment last, and just marvel in the love that was held there between you. After a few seconds, that were much too short for your liking, you both pulled away but still held onto one another, foreheads lightly touching, for a while longer.

“Whatever happens, I just want you to know that you’re the best thing to ever happen to me. I’m glad I chose love over following the rules, I’m glad I chose you”, Rex said, cutting the silence that had built between you two.

You smiled at his confession, “I’m glad I chose you too Rex. I love you.”

“And I love you (Y/N).” You slowly released one another and shared one more loving glance before you each were heading off to your stations to prepare for the fight that was about to ensue.

You went to stand at the front of the tank, detaching your sabers from your hips and holding them, still deactivated, at your sides while Rex manned the cannon. “Wolffe, bring us around”, you heard him yell to his fellow trooper. The tank began to turn, changing its direction to head straight for the walkers now in front of you.

As you made your approach the walkers began blasting the tank. You blocked a few shots with your sabers but weren’t able to deflect them all since they were shooting from two separate angles. One blast had the tank faltering and falling in the front, causing you to have to hold on to the railing in front of you so as not to fall. You looked behind you to the trooper driving the huge machine. “Wolffe, get us level”, you yelled to him.

“Yes General”, he said firmly. He then pulled the levers in his hands toward him and upwards, causing the tank to begin to lift in the front before finally being back on its feet once more. You took your defensive stance up again once you were able to get your footing. You were coming up quickly on the walkers and were desperately trying to come up with a crazy plan to take them out, if memory served you the craziest plans always seemed to be the most effective. You were halfway through your thinking when you heard Wolffe shout from behind you. “I’m going for the legs, all four of them.”

You turned to him with an incredulous look. “Are you crazy, there’s no way that’ll work”, you said, raising your voice over the commotion surrounding you.

“Never know until we try”, he responded.

You were about to argue against the idea until you remembered your previous thought. It was a crazy idea, so it just might work. You jump to the position right above him, looking down through the glass. “Alright then, have at it Commander”, you told him encouragingly.

He nodded and pushed forward, ramming the tank into the walker ahead. It seemed to be working, until it wasn’t, the tank now with its front legs halfway up the walker’s. You were almost sure that you would all be turned upside down any minute. You thought fast. You did have one plan, maybe impossible given your lack of practice over the years, but it was worth a shot. However, before you could put your plan into action you heard Rex shouting from somewhere behind you. “Come out and fight, you cowards”, he yelled to the men in the walker. He was standing on top of the cannon, and right in the line of fire. You cursed at him internally before leaping toward him, landing right in front of him, sabers ready to block the inevitable blast. Although, it never came. Before they could retaliate, the walker was shot from the side, throwing it off balance enough to distract them from their attack. You looked to see the Phantom fly under it and make its way to the second walker, you then saw Ezra, Kanan, and Zeb jump from the starfighter and land on its head before using their sabers to cut the hatch off and enter the machine. You grinned, and before you could voice the thought, Rex did it for you. “Just like the old days”, he said.

You turned, still grinning, to look at him. “Speaking of…”, you didn’t finish before running up the barrel of the cannon, replacing your sabers on your hips along the way.

“Wait, what are you doing”, he asked, concerned.

“Can’t let them show me up now can I”, you asked him, sending a playful wink over your shoulder. You used your higher position to launch yourself upward toward the first walker and was able to grab onto one of the blasters on the side of its head. You then swung yourself toward the top, landing much more gracefully than you’d expected to. You then drew your sabers and repeated the actions of the other two force-wielders, cutting a hole in the head and jumping down into it. You took your attack stance as soon as you were in, but when you looked around there was no one there. Walking to the control panel, you looked out to see the scene below and a movement from your right caught your eye. It was the imperials that had been manning the very walker you were in now; they had evacuated and were now fleeing on a speeder bike. “Huh, they really are cowards”, you said out loud to yourself.

Rex was below, now back in his seat behind the cannon. He was waiting to take the shot until he knew you were out. He wasn’t about to take that risk and was about to call the whole idea off when he saw something shoot out the head of the walker. He squinted to see better and nearly jumped out of his seat when you landed on the barrel of the cannon, giving a little mischievous grin when you noticed you’d startled him.

Rex shook his head. “So, did ya get ‘em”, he asked, eyebrow cocked and grinning back.

You jumped down, coming to stand next to him. “Nah, those hut’unns turned tail before I could even get to them. Took off that way”, you said, pointing in the direction you saw the speeder go.

“Oh, well then I guess there’s no need to blast this thing then”, he said, gesturing to the walker, “and just when we got the power restored, ah well.” You could see the slight disappointment on his face.

“You could still blast it you know”, you told him.

“To what purpose, they’re already gone.”

You laid a hand on his shoulder. “For no other purpose then the satisfaction of seeing this hunk of junk fall”, you said with a smile.

He grinned at you. “Have I told you how much I love you lately”, he asked.

You bent down so your face was next to his. “Yeah, but it’s always nice to hear it anyway”, you said, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before straightening and standing behind him.

Rex took the shot and you all watched as the walker fell to the ground. “You were right, that was satisfying.”

***

You and Rex had decided to leave the quiet life behind for now and join the rebellion, after a bit of convincing from Ezra and Sabine that is. You had said your goodbyes to Wolffe and Gregor before you left.

“So, I guess this is goodbye then”, Wolffe said, looking a bit downcast.

You laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. “For now, but we’ll all see each other again”, you said, giving him a reassuring smile.

He gave a breathy chuckle. “Did the force tell you that”, he asked sarcastically. He always loved messing with you like that.

You rolled your eyes. “No, but it didn’t need to, I just know. Besides, you guys can’t get rid of us that easily”, you said smirking at them.

Gregor came to stand beside you draping an arm over your shoulders. “Well good, because we don’t want to”, he said, smiling wide. You laughed. Gregor was always the one to lighten the mood, always the chipper one, and so damn optimistic that it almost annoyed you sometimes, but you had to love him for it. You loved all your boys for who they were and for what made them unique, this affection only grew after the war when you all decided to live together in seclusion, and you got to know them better.

During the war it always seemed like there wasn’t enough time to properly get to know all your men, especially the ones outside of the 501st, who you’d been more often affiliated with. However, on the rare occasions where you did work outside of your Legion you tried to widen your friend group, meeting other troopers and their commanding officers, befriending all who would have you. As a jedi you knew this wasn’t advised seeing as you were not to form attachments and all, but at the time you really didn’t care, still didn’t in fact, and looking back you were glad you hadn’t. You knew that throughout the war you would lose many of these friends, and it wouldn’t be easy, but you had accepted that and would take it in stride as it came, because in the end you knew that these friendships would do more good than hurt. Sometimes, a lot of times, all these men needed was a good friend, an ear to listen to the chaos within their minds after hard battles, and on occasion even a shoulder to cry on. You were willing to be all these things for them and did it with as much grace and kindness as you could. It was due to this that it was so easy for Wolffe and Gregor to trust you after the war. Even with their chips removed, they were still confused for a long while, not knowing who to trust but each other, but with you they found it to be much easier, remembering all the times you had been there for them and their men and knowing you would never do anything to betray their trust. Yes, you loved your newfound family, and you’d do anything to keep them safe, which is why you’d finally agreed to join the fight to take down the Empire, it was the only way to make sure they’d never come after your men again. Although, it was still hard to say goodbye.

You looked between the two men, an almost sad smile forming on your face and before you could even think you’d brought them both into a tight hug, one which they returned in kind. “Just don’t do anything too reckless while we’re gone, okay”, you requested, pulling back with a kind smile and wiping the tear that had fallen down your cheek away with your fingertips.

“We’ll do our best General”, Gregor stated with a nod. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at him for addressing you by rank, you weren’t going to argue, not now.

Rex came to stand beside you, facing his brothers. “You both did excellent work today, I have no doubt you’ll handle yourselves in whatever is to come, but let’s hope you won’t have to”, he said with a grin, clapping them both on the shoulder.

“Well, if you ever need us, you know where to reach us”, Wolffe said, clamping his hand over Rex’s forearm, a gesture you had seen exchanged from brother to brother many times before, and it brought a warm feeling to your chest every time. Rex nodded before releasing them and bringing an arm to wrap around your waist, its constant home over the years. “You two stay safe alright? I don’t want to have to find replacements for you, not that there even is such a thing”, Wolffe said with a sideways grin.

You smiled at this and then straightened your posture, giving your men a formal salute and holding it, Rex following suit, standing in the same position beside you. The two commanders returned the salute. After a moment you relaxed and returned to a normal standing position, everyone else doing the same. “Until we see each other again”, you said.

“Until we see each other again”, the two men echoed your words simultaneously.

***

You had docked the rebel ship and were following the Ghost crew down the brightly lit hallways before turning a corner and coming to a stop. You knew before they parted to let you both pass who would be standing on the other side, you had felt her familiar force signature as soon as you had boarded.

Rex stepped forward first, walking toward the smiling togruta. “Commander”, he addressed his old friend. “You got old.”

Ahsoka chuckled. “Had to happen sometime Rex”, she replied. She looked hesitant for a moment before embracing him in a tight hug.

You watched the interaction between the two, smiling to yourself, realizing just how long it had been since you had seen your friend, it felt like ages now. As you were in this train of thought Ahsoka pulled back from the embrace and suddenly looked over his shoulder, something catching her eye. “(Y/N)”, she said, it almost came out as a sigh.

Ahsoka walked to you and pulled you into a tight embrace as well, which you happily returned. “Hey Ahsoka, it’s been a while”, you said with a laugh.

Releasing each other from the hug, you both looked at one another. “I think that’s a bit of an understatement”, she responded, giving a light laugh of her own before the two of you turned to Rex.

“We’re just glad you’re still alive”, he said to her. You put a hand on her shoulder, giving a confirming nod.

“You too”, she said, looking between you and Rex.

“Well, we wouldn’t be if it weren’t for these guys”, Rex stated, gesturing to the crew behind you.

“Thank you for trusting my friend”, Ahsoka said, seeming to direct her thanks mainly to Kanan, who was surprisingly much less angry than you last remember sensing.

“It wasn’t easy”, Kanan confessed to her, “It still isn’t.”

You and Rex shared a saddened glance and you silently wondered if Kanan would ever come around, but you also made the decision to try not and push the topic, not now at least.

“Nothing worth doing ever is”, Ahsoka told him, and with that you all walked to the command center, for a rebellion is not built on pleasantries.

***

After a brief discussion of the next course of action, you had been dismissed to settle in, and were led to the room that you and your husband would be sharing for the time being. Before you could even sit down there was a knock at the door and you were surprised to find it was Sabine, asking to borrow you for a little while. You had agreed, albeit a bit hesitantly, wondering what the young girl could possibly need you for, especially with that excited glint in her eye. You shrugged at your confused spouse before following her out of the room.

Awhile later you returned, quite pleased with the outcome of your little surprise endeavor with the Mandalorian girl, who was very happy with herself when all was said and done. You entered your shared quarters and stopped just after entering, letting the door slide shut behind you. This got Rex’s attention and he turned to you from where he was seated, his smile dropping as soon as he properly laid eyes on you, his features morphing into a look of shocked admiration, and quickly closed his mouth that had opened in a slight gape.

He blinked a few times before finally speaking. “Cyar’ika you look…”, he started to say, but found he couldn’t think of the proper word to articulate what he was thinking at the moment.

You smiled. “You like it”, you asked, bringing your hands up to touch your hair, which was now styled in a way that complemented the shape of your face perfectly and now sported dyed blue tips. Sabine had also given you a fresh pair of clothes that she thought would fit you nicely. They did fit, even though they were a bit tighter than you would’ve liked, and the cut on the long-sleeved top was a bit lower than you were used to, but it was still high enough for you to consider it conservative, well conservative enough. Although, with the way your husband was staring at you now, you were grateful for these aspects, seeing just how much he was appreciating the way the outfit hugged your curves by the way his eyes scanned you from head to foot.

He stood and walked the short distance to you, taking your hands in his. “Like it? I love it, you look absolutely stunning, downright delectable even”, he said with a wicked grin.

You smacked his chest lightly, shaking your head. “And here I thought I married and gentleman”, you said, not being able to hide the grin that was forming.

“Oh, you did, it’s just that you have this incredible talent of pushing me to my limit at times, especially when you come in looking like this”, he said, eyeing you up again.

You blushed under his gaze. “Well, at least I know I’ve still got it”, you said, giving him a playful smirk.

He suddenly pulled you to his chest, wrapping his arms around your waist to keep you secure against him, your faces only inches apart now. “Cyare, you never lost it”, he said cocking an eyebrow as he continued to grin at you, and with that you pulled him into a loving kiss, one that he quickly leaned into and deepened.

You pulled away after a bit to make eye contact once more. Rex released one of his arms from around you to bring his hand up to your hair, lightly playing with the tips between his fingers. “I like the hair too, always did think this color suited you.”

You gave a slight shrug. “You know me, always more than willing to support my boys in blue.”

You both shared a small laugh before catching each other’s lips in another kiss, this one a bit more tender than the last.

“So is this a bad time to talk about how I might be wishing we'd rethought our decision about not having kids”, he asked in a low voice once you two parted from the kiss.

You blinked, surprised by the sudden shift in topics. “Umm, alright, what brought this on”, you asked.

He looked to the hand that was still playing with your hair, not wanting to make direct eye contact as he spoke his next words. “Well, it's just that, seeing you with Ezra earlier today, it made me realize, you'd make a great mother, and I almost feel like we've missed out on something special, and this isn’t exactly the first time the thought has crossed my mind. I’ve always wondered if we were making the right call not having a child of our own, but you seemed happy with our life together and I didn’t want you to ever feel pressured, I wanted it to be your choice, I still do.”

“Rex are you trying to tell me you want to have children”, you asked.

“Maybe, but not if you don’t, I mean… do you”, he asked, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“Well, I won't say I've never thought about it, especially in the early years of our relationship. I'd often wonder what it would be like to have a little version of you running around."

“Or you”, he said with a smile.

You smile. “I guess it would be nice to have an addition to the family, and I'm sure the boys would make great uncles. Well, maybe with some supervision”, you say, chuckling out that last part.

“Really”, he asked, clearly a bit surprised by your response.

“Rex, I know I won't be able to keep you for as long as I'd like, I accepted that reality a long time ago”, you said, sliding your palm against his causing him to let go of the piece of hair he was still holding and intertwining your fingers with his, “but maybe if I have something of you left after, something we created together, then maybe I'll be able to continue on because I'll still be living for you, or at least a part of you." You were desperately trying to keep the tears you felt building behind your eyes from making their way out. You hated thinking about this, your husband’s shortened life span was never a topic you wanted to think about for too long, it was a reality you did not care to observe in your everyday life, but reality it was, and you knew someday you would have to face it. Just not today.

He pulled you closer with the arm still around your waist. “Oh Cyar'ika, I love you so much”, he said, kissing your forehead.

“And I love you, with all my heart.”

“So, we're really doing this then?”

You giggled at his noticeable excitement. “Yes, we're really doing this”, you confirmed. He then let go of your hand and cupped your cheek, pulling you into a kiss so full of love it nearly took the breath right out of you. You laughed once you managed to pull away again, trying to get your next thought out. “We can start trying when we have some time to ourselves.”

“We have time now”, he said, swiftly moving his hands to firmly grip your hips and pull you flush against him. Your senses left you for a second, heat rushing to your face and chest at the implication, before you were able to compose yourself.

You chuckled, coming back to your senses. “Actually, we don't. We've been asked to help pick the location for the rebel base. They figured since we were the ones to give the intel that we'd be able to find the safest place. I'm sure they've already started reviewing the list, so we'd better get going”, you said, a bit annoyed at the fact, there were much better things you could be doing, but you did promise to do whatever you could to help in this rebellion. Damn, why’d you always have to be the responsible one?

Rex broke you from your inner ramblings with another heated kiss that had you weak in the knees. “Alright fine, but tonight you're all mine”, he said against your lips.

“Deal. Now let's go, we're late”, you said, still smiling like a lovesick teenager and reluctantly pulling away from his embrace, which he did not want to make easy, but eventually gave in and released you.

As you made your way to the door, trying to compose yourself once again, he spoke. “Hopefully soon you'll be the one who’s late”, he said, taking you by surprise yet again.

You turned and raised an eyebrow at him and jokingly asked, “Okay, who are you, and where is the Rex I married?”

He laughed, coming to stand in front of you and leaning in slightly. “What can I say cyar’ika, you’ve made me bold”, he said, giving you a mischievous smile.

You shake your head and opened the door, taking him by the hand and leading him out into the corridor. “Alright, alright. Come on Stud, we have to go”, you said and began making your way to the bridge of the ship, “and save the dirty talk for tonight okay?” You grinned at him over your shoulder, continuing to pull him along.

He smiled and quickened his stride to walk alongside you, lacing his fingers with yours. “Yes Ma’am”, he responded softly.

You couldn’t seem to keep the smile off your face, for several reasons. The main two being that you knew you had quite the night ahead of you, thank the force for the private quarters, and you were thrilled at the idea of having Rex’s child. You weren’t sure what this new future would hold for the both of you, but you were ready to find out.

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gukyi · 4 years ago

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that’s the spirit! | myg

summary: min yoongi hates halloween. as his best friend and resident halloween-lover, that is simply unacceptable. but when halloween night rolls around and you and min yoongi feel farther apart than ever before, you discover that what’s come between you is more than just a bad trick, and that no matter what day it is, loving him is the sweetest treat of all.

{college!au, friends to lovers!au, halloween!au}

pairing: min yoongi x female reader genre: fluff, comedy, a little angst? (a little i promise) word count: 8k (woohoo! i did it!) warnings: alcohol consumption, underage drunkenness in flashbacks, misunderstandings, helpless but mutual pining, halloween parties, this is halloween during college, what else do you expect a/n: some scenes inspired by love, rosie, my absolute favorite rom-com! happy halloween, and i hope this brings some joy to your life before armageddon i mean election day rolls around! much love 🎃💜

Min Yoongi hates Halloween.

Which is ridiculous, because you assume that there must have been at least one time in his life where he liked it. Halloween is a universally-liked holiday. It was the one day of the year where he, an unbridled child rebelling against authority, got to dress up as his favorite book character, superhero, or movie star, hang out with his friends past sunset, and solicit strangers for free candy. Free candy! How could anyone hate that?

But the thing is, it doesn’t matter what Min Yoongi was like in his youth. Ever since you met him, he has hated Halloween. For reasons completely unbeknownst to you.

Unfortunately for Min Yoongi, just because he hates Halloween doesn’t mean that he gets to spend his October pretending that it doesn’t exist. Because, unlike him, you do not hate Halloween. In fact, you rather like it. So much so that Min Yoongi has to deal with the holiday no matter what. For better…

“Ah! What the fuck!”

Or for worse.

You pop your head out of your bedroom to find Yoongi about to throw down with the fake skeleton you’ve propped up by the door, one of those cheesy ones from Spirit Halloween that make a zombie sound whenever its artificial brain can sense someone near it. He’s got this wide-eyed look on his face, fists up in front of him like he’s going to beat the damn thing senseless, even though Min Yoongi is barely five-feet-ten and has a body that functions exclusively on iced coffee and could probably get taken down by the average third-grader.

Min Yoongi does not have a flight instinct. He only knows how to fight.

He’s muttering to himself by the time you emerge completely from your bedroom, grumbling about how he nearly wet himself at the sight of the thing, fingers glossing over the plastic bones as he inspects them. There he stands in the doorway of your apartment, curled-up fists tucked inside the too-long sleeves of his too-big hoodie, pink lips parted in innocent confusion as he blinks at your apartment’s new resident.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” You chide from where you stand in your room, watching as Yoongi jerks his head up. The sound of your voice seems to catch him off guard for a minute, eyes wide in shock before he realizes that it’s you and his whole body relaxes. “Was that you I just heard screaming outside my apartment, Min Yoongi?”

“No,” Yoongi deadpans, fully aware that the both of you know that it was him. “Must have been someone else.”

“Yes, of course, my mistake,” you tease, coming up behind him to rub his upper arm, the palm of your hand pressing against the worn fabric of his hoodie sleeve as he sighs. “You don’t have a problem with my festive decorations at all, do you?”

“Not those,” Yoongi frowns, pointing to the orange and black streamers hanging above your apartment window, to the mini pumpkins sitting in the center of your dinky kitchen table, to the construction paper cutouts of black cats decorating your walls. He rounds on the skeleton, propped up right next to the door with the sole purpose of scaring whatever visitors you have. “This, I have a problem with. What is this thing?”

You smile proudly. “Reginald.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Yoongi looks at you, positively flabbergasted. “You named it?”

You scoff. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I? I bought him, he’s mine now, and he needed a name. So I named him Reginald. What’s the issue here?” You weren’t about to buy a twenty-five dollar plastic skeleton, set him up to be your personal doorman, and not give him a name.

“The issue is that this—” he motions to Reginald’s face, “—is the first thing I see when I walk into your apartment, instead of—oh, I don’t know—you,” he says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Aw, I’m touched,” you say, pressing a hand to your heart. “Didn’t know you always wanted to see my face first thing when you come over.”

Yoongi’s gaze drifts down towards the floor, thumbs twiddling. “Well, yeah,” he mumbles, words barely audible. “Why else would I come over?”

“I don’t know, for the ambience, maybe?” You say with a shrug, watching him slide his backpack off of his shoulder and onto the floor by the couch. “Anyway, maybe if you had come with me to Spirit Halloween when I went shopping for decorations, you wouldn’t be so surprised.”

“I had two midterms that week! Two!” Yoongi reminds you.”

“I’m just saying,” you tell him, hands up defensively as you make your way to the kitchen, fishing out two teabags from the cabinet as you set the kettle to boil. You never used to like tea, but a year ago Yoongi convinced you to try this jasmine flower one from the Asian supermarket downtown and you haven’t looked back. Now there’s always at least three spare boxes in your kitchen cupboards, for you and for him. “No time is a bad time to get into the Halloween spirit.”

Yoongi sighs, loud and obvious, because this is the third year in a row you’ve brought up this conversation and it’s not any more convincing than it was the last two times. “Do we have to do this?”

“Yes.”

“Can’t we just pretend it’s November Eve?”

“Come on, Yoongi,” you plead, because he’s never given you a good explanation as to why he refuses to spend Halloween with you, and you just want to know why. “Won’t you just celebrate this one stupid holiday with me?”

“So you admit it’s stupid?”

“That’s not what I meant.” You frown at him, crossing your arms as the kettle starts whistling.

Yoongi exhales, reaching over you to pour the boiling water into your teacups, matching His and Hers ones you bought from the sale section of Target last year for Valentine’s Day. “It’s just not my thing. You know that.”

“But we’re college students,” you exclaim. “Halloween is the best when you’re a college student! You get to dress up as whatever you want and go to five different parties and spend the night with your friends without your parents chaperoning you.”

Yoongi purses his lips, unconvinced. “So… basically an opportunity to get piss drunk in a frat house? No thanks, I’ll pass.”

“You know that I wouldn’t care what we did if you celebrated Halloween with me,” you say, leaning against the counter as you hold your mug in your hands, the heat warming your palms and steam brushing against the skin of your cheeks. “Even if we just stayed in and watched a movie. Or played one of those horror video games Jungkook’s always talking about.”

“That sounds worse,” Yoongi admits with a helpless laugh. It really does. Neither you nor Yoongi have ever been huge fans of the horror genre Jungkook loves so much.

You chuckle. “Honestly, yeah, forget I said anything about that.”

“You know I just don’t care for Halloween that much,” Yoongi says, gazing down into the swirling brown of his mug, the steam from the water making his glasses fog up. “It’s nothing personal.”

You sigh. That’s about as good of an answer you’re going to be getting out of him. No matter what you suggest, whether it be a house party, a night in, or even just a candy feast, he has always declined, citing his unexplainable dislike for the festivities. The only reason he deals with the holiday in the first place is because you love it so much.

“Will you at least help me carve some pumpkins please?” You ask, a last ditch effort to get him to participate. “The supermarket on Fifteenth Street is having a sale on them, and I wanted to decorate the windowsill. It’s easier with two people, you know.”

Yoongi narrows his eyes, looking hesitant.

“Oh, please, Yoongi? Just this once? It’s not even, like, a strictly Halloween thing. It’s just a fall thing! Plus, we can roast the pumpkin seeds after for a snack,” you plead, placing your cup down on the counter so you can tug on his arms, hands wrapped around his wrists as you stare into his eyes, positively desperate.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Yoongi says with a huff, that resigned tone to his voice that signifies that he’s caving in. “Yes, we can carve pumpkins together. That I will do.”

“Oh my God, really? Yes! Yay, thank you so much!” In a fit of excitement, surprise, and joy, you pull Yoongi in for a hug, wrapping your arms around his neck as he tilts back in shock, tea spilling out over the edge of his mug and onto the linoleum floor beneath your feet, drops of it splashing against your skin.

“Whoa, whoa, okay,” Yoongi says, taken aback. Still nestled tightly within your arms, he carefully sets his mug down onto the counter so as to avoid more spilling, his other hand pressing against the small of your back. “I didn’t know pumpkin carving was so important to you.”

You laugh, pulling away as you look into his eyes, crinkled up into fond little crescents. “It’s not. But you are.”

“So cheesy,” Yoongi chides.

“You love it,” you remind him, pressing the side of your body against his as you lean against the counter together. Instinctively, you let your head flop onto his shoulder, fitting perfectly in the crook of his neck. “Thanks for doing this for me,” you say softly.

“Of course,” Yoongi says. “Anything for you.”

“Look how festive campus is!”

Yoongi chuckles as he watches you skip down the main walkway, the one that winds right from the west to the east side of campus, relishing in the feeling of autumn. Yoongi always forgets that it’s fall until it hits him like a brick to the head, and suddenly it’s getting dark at five-thirty and he can’t go outside without a proper jacket anymore. It’s a week until November, and Yoongi still refuses to wear anything heavier than a denim jacket, no matter how cold it gets. It can’t be winter yet, right?

“Wow, all the tones really fit the spooky mood,” you tell him, leaves crinkling as your feet step on the fallen foliage, brown and orange and yellow and red.

“How convenient it is that orange happens to be one of Halloween’s signature colors,” Yoongi chides with a roll of his eyes. “Is the Castle still hosting that party next week?”

“The costume one? Yeah, I’m pretty sure,” you tell him with a nod. “We’re still going, right?”

“Only because it’s our first year,” Yoongi reminds you pointedly. “And since you wanna celebrate together so badly.”

You scoff. “Don’t act like it’s such a drag. I know you want to spend time with me.”

Yoongi chuckles to himself, casual and cool. He knows you’re just teasing him but quite frankly, if Yoongi could spend every day of the rest of his life with you, then he would. If he could turn himself into a witch and cast a spell to keep you by his side for the rest of time, then he would. From the moment the two of you met in your dingy dorm, you clicked. And Yoongi knew, in that moment. He just knew.

“Oh my God, look at the pumpkins!”

Your voice breaks him from his thoughts, your finger pointing excitedly at the carved pumpkins outside of the dormitories that line the walkway, lit candles nestled safely inside. They’ve got everything from the college logo to video game characters to the face of your lovable-but-memeable university president carved into them, decorating the street with a little more personality than normal.

“They’re so cute, holy shit,” you tell Yoongi fondly, all endeared and heart-eyed, the same way you get when someone walks their dog through campus or a professor sends out an update email with a picture of their newborn grandchild. Yoongi’s only known you a couple of months, but already he’s starting to figure out what makes you tick. “I love them. Don’t you love them, Yoongi?”

You turn around to meet Yoongi’s eyes, and when he looks back at you it feels like his whole heart is lighter. He sees your smile and it makes his body fill with warmth, like someone’s wrapping a blanket around him, like a warm cup of hot cocoa on a cool autumn afternoon. He looks back at you, and it feels like everything is right.

“Yeah,” Yoongi says, grinning. “I do.”

The lopsided legs of your creaky kitchen table tremble as the pumpkin hits it.

“Damn, is this thing heavy or am I just getting weaker?” You ask, smoothing out the newspaper spread out on the flat surface of the table, two college students’ best attempt to avoid a mess. They’re old student copies with headlines like Brand New Cafeteria, but is the Food Even Any Good? and New Semester, New Me! sprawled across the front. You care about your school news, you really do, but the members of the newspaper team that hand out the papers practically stuff them down your throat whenever there’s a new issue, which is three times a week and at every street intersection on campus. So you’ve had extras lying around.

“Nope, they’re definitely heavy,” Yoongi agrees as he plops his pumpkin onto the table next to yours with a thud. “Though it’s not like I go to the gym much anyway.”

“Didn’t we say we were gonna try and be healthier this year, since we’re graduating?” You ask.

“That was before that new doughnut place opened up next to the ramen restaurant three streets up,” Yoongi reminds you.

“Maybe grad school?”

Yoongi rolls his eyes, reaching over the table to grab the pumpkin carving kits the two of you bought from the drugstore down the road. “Caution. Keep out of reach of children ages three and under,” he reads. “Welp, guess I can’t do this then…”

“Ha ha, very funny,” you say with a deadpan frown, grabbing onto his wrist. “Hold on a minute, Mr. I Promised I Would Do This For My Best Friend.” Yoongi exhales dramatically as you pull him back towards the table, though it’s not as if there was much resistance from him in the first place.

You pry open the plastic wrapping that surrounds the kit, the orange tools eventually popping out of their casing and onto your newspaper-ed table. Sure, you could have probably pulled out two knives from your kitchen drawer and it wouldn’t make a difference, but spending ten dollars each on these two little pumpkin carving kits didn’t seem like a waste of money. For the sake of Halloween spirit, right?

“What do you want to carve?” You ask, handing Yoongi your open kit as you gaze at the instruction manual. Pumpkin carving shouldn’t be too difficult, should it? You cut open the top, pull out all the gunk from the inside, and then carve a face, or something.

“I’m not a very good artist,” Yoongi admits, looking hesitant.

“Well, the good thing about pumpkin carving is that no one expects them to look nice,” you point out. “I think I want to do that anime eyes face emoji. You know the one. Let’s see…”

You grab a hold of the plastic knife that came with the kit, hover the tip over the top of the pumpkin, and stab. It sinks into the squash up to the hilt. That’s the good part.

The bad part is that, because you’re holding onto a knife made out of non-recyclable plastic, moving it once it’s inside the pumpkin is exceedingly difficult. You pull it right and left fruitlessly, watching as the knife sits firmly in place, the handle bending with the curve of your fingers if you tug on it too hard.

“Oh, for crying out loud,” Yoongi says with another sigh, abandoning his own pumpkin, which he has already de-stalked in the minutes you weren’t looking his way. “Let me help you.”

Suddenly, you feel a warmth wrap around you. A figure presses against your back, this musky, coffee-laden scent surrounding you, and you watch as Yoongi’s calloused hands slowly envelop yours, fingertips pressing firmly against your skin. It makes you freeze up instinctively, jumping at the sensation of his body around yours, of his torso pressed against your back, of his breath tickling your ear.

“Relax, alright?” He says, voice calm and gentle. He brings your hands to the knife, lets his palms rest against them as your fingers slowly wrap around the handle. You can feel him breathing, feel the slow rise and fall of his chest against you, the heat of his mouth just inches away from your cheek. “It’s just me.”

You force a chuckle. “You just surprised me, that’s all.”

You feel Yoongi pause behind you.

“Seriously, I’m fine. Help me,” you insist.

Steadily, albeit a little bit tentatively, Yoongi does. His hand wrapped around yours, together the two of you carve out the top of the pumpkin, his chest pressed firmly against your back, body engulfing you. He feels so close, so goddamn close, like there is barely an inch of space in between the two of you, like if he were to bend down right there and if you were shift yourself around you would see nothing but his face right in front of yours, his hazy brown eyes looking back at you, twinkling in the white light of your kitchen.

It almost makes you want to turn around and look.

“There we go,” Yoongi says, voice suddenly soft, quiet like there’s something else weighing on his tongue. “What are you thinking of carving?”

“I don’t know,” you murmur, lips upturned. “Maybe you?”

“I don’t make for a very attractive pumpkin picture,” Yoongi says with a shake of his head, even though that’s total bullshit for a number of reasons.

First of all, a pumpkin portrait is by no means meant to be an attractive portrayal of you, unless you’re Keanu Reeves and you look photogenic no matter what. Second of all, there has never been a time where Yoongi has not looked good. He always does. He did during finals week when his body was made of nothing but iced coffee, he did in freshman year when the two of you would stay awake until the early morning getting vodka spilled all over you in frat houses, and he does now, tired eyes and soft skin, dark hair and pink lips, standing in your apartment like he belongs here, like this is where he was meant to be.

“I think you would,” you tell him honestly. “You’d look good no matter what.”

Yoongi’s silent at that, but you can tell from the way his cheeks are turning red he’s taken the compliment to heart. It makes you want to shower him in them. It makes you want to freeze this moment in time, suspended in reality, and stay like that forever.

“Then I’ll do you,” he says with a grin, because what else would he say? Who else would he choose? You are going to put two matching pumpkins on your windowsill, and they will be of you and him. Messy, Picasso-style portraits carved into the orange skin. Two best friends, together even as fucking pumpkins.

You will carve out a picture of him, and he will carve out a picture of you, and isn’t that what this is really all about?

“Do you think people are gonna get the wrong idea about us?”

“What do you mean?”

Yoongi turns around to face you where you stand in front of your dorm mirror, this giant plastic one hanging on two hooks that you’ve latched onto the door of your room. He knows that you can see him in the mirror, staring back at you with a black mask over his face and a cape draped over his shoulders, the giant yellow emblem printed out on a piece of paper and taped onto his chest. It’s a last minute costume, for sure, but it gets the job done nicely.

“I mean,” you say, fixing the cat ears that sit atop your head. “Do you think people are gonna think we’re a couple, or something?”

Yoongi grins nervously and hopes that you don’t notice. “I mean, we’re just going to a frat party. I doubt it’s going to be light enough to see anything at all. Why?”

“Well, I don’t want people to get the wrong idea about us,” you say, adjusting the mask over your eyes. Yoongi, unabashedly, rakes his eyes up and down your figure. Your black turtleneck and skintight leather leggings don’t leave very much to the imagination. You’re definitely much more in costume than he is, to say the least.

“We’re freshmen, people already have the wrong idea about us,” Yoongi scoffs.

You turn around just so you can shoot a frown his way. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Why are you so worried about people getting the wrong idea about us?” Yoongi asks you, an eyebrow raised. This does not exactly bode well for him. “We can be Batman and Catwoman together no matter what people think.”

“I don’t know, I guess I just—” You stop in your tracks, letting the words fall off your lips and crash to the floor. “Never mind, it’s stupid.”

“What? You can tell me,” Yoongi says, concern lacing his voice. He rushes over to you, the two of you staring at your reflections in the mirror. Two friends, clad in black, wearing matching costumes. If Yoongi wasn’t sober right now, maybe he would actually do it.

Maybe.

“It’s nothing, it’s nothing,” you shrug it off with a shake of your head. “I’m happy to be doing this with you. Even if your costume totally sucks.”

“Hey!” Yoongi exclaims defensively. “It is not my fault you came up with this idea last minute even though you already owned everything. I had to pay twenty-five cents to print this in color, you know.”

“A Twenty-five cent costume and you still look good.”

You and Yoongi smile at each other in the mirror, lips turned up as you stare at yourselves, wondering if this is all you will ever be, or if there is something more.

Yoongi sure hopes it’s the latter.

And he’s determined to find out, once and for all, tonight.

You’ve just lit the candles that sit inside yours and Yoongi’s pumpkins when you hear the knock at your door.

You’re sure that Yoongi can hear you from a mile away as you scurry towards the door, white platform heels clapping against the floorboards with every step you take. You’re going to have to practice walking in these a bit more. Maybe you shouldn’t have bought them only a week before Halloween, and maybe you should have at least tried to break them in a little bit.

“Hello?” You swing open the door.

“He—whoa,” Yoongi begins before his eyes widen to the size of the moon as he fully takes in the sight in front of him. “What’s with the—uh, the… dress?” He’s scratching at the nape of his neck, eyes sweeping up and down your body.

You hold out the skirt of your sequined, bedazzled dress as best you can, and grin. “I’m a gogo dancer! What do you think?”

“Wow, I—” Yoongi starts, a little speechless. “I don’t know. Wow. You look… you look nice, Y/N.”

You smile, thankful for the compliment. Yoongi seems weirdly breathless, blinking more often than usual, like he’s trying to convince himself that what he’s seeing is real. Although, you will admit that this dress is much more sparkly than anything else you have in your closet. You reckon a few disco balls were sacrificed to make this costume.

“Why—uh, why did you call me over? Did you need something from me?”

“Actually, yes,” you say, ushering Yoongi into your apartment.

As he’s walking inside, Yoongi notices the pumpkins sitting on your windowsill. “Hey, those look cute together.”

“Don’t they?” You say proudly. Nobody else has commented on them, but then again, you live on the fifth floor of your apartment, so you don’t imagine many people can even see them from ground level. But it’s nice to know that they’re there, and that they mean something. Not to a whole lot of people, but to you. And to him. “But that’s not why I asked you to come over.”

“Why, what’s up?”

You freeze when he looks up at you, like you can hardly will the next few words to come out of your mouth. They’re stuck at the dam of your lips, refusing to budge, because there is this tiny, this little part of you that doesn’t even have the courage to ask. To say it. Because you know already.

“Hoseok’s throwing a party tonight—”

“No.”

“You didn’t even let me finish!”

“But I know what you’re going to say,” Yoongi says like it’s obvious, because it is. “You’re going to ask me to come with you. And I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this, Y/N, but I am not going to go. I’m just not.”

“But it’s not a shitty frat party or anything!” You exclaim, desperately trying to dig yourself out of a hole you’re already six-feet in. “It’s at his place, an apartment across campus, with just some friends of his. There won’t be crazy music and sleazy guys and jungle juice. It’s just going to be a house party.”

“I don’t care, I don’t want to go,” Yoongi tells you. “There’s nothing you can do to change my mind.”

“Why? Why won’t you go?” You demand, because the least your best friend of nearly four years could do is give you a real reason. A real reason as to why he hates Halloween, why he never wants to celebrate it with you, why he never wants to go out with you on your favorite night of the year.

“Because I just don’t want to! Why can’t you just accept that? I don’t want to go!”

Silence. It’s almost as if Yoongi’s shocked he was even speaking so loudly in the first place.

Next to you, the candles flicker.

“I don’t get it,” you say, resigned. “I don’t understand. This is our very last year to celebrate Halloween as college students, as best friends, and you can’t even give me a real excuse as to why you won’t come with me.”

Yoongi frowns. “What do you mean, ‘a real excuse’?”

“Exactly that,” you say sharply. “A real excuse. Even when I offer for us to just stay in and eat KitKats and watch a shiity movie you refuse. All because it’s Halloween. I don’t get it. It’s not the crowds, and it’s not the drinks, and it’s not even the other stuff, like the pumpkins and the decorations. Is it me? Am I the reason you don’t want to celebrate Halloween?”

“No, what the fuck, it’s not you!”

“Then what is it, Yoongi?” You plead, not even making an attempt to lower your voice. Can’t he hear the sheer desperation in your voice? The hopelessness? “Why won’t you just tell me why you don’t ever want to celebrate this goddamn holiday with me? Is it my fault?”

“I just don’t!”

The sound of Yoongi’s shouts echoes throughout your living space, bouncing off of the walls. You look back at him, feeling helpless, but he doesn’t look angry, or enraged. He looks exhausted. Like this conversation has knocked the wind right out of him, stolen the breath from his lungs. Like suddenly the pot has boiled over, only it’s extinguished the flames that kept it burning.

“I just don’t,” Yoongi repeats, fists clenched tightly by his side. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

He gives you one last tired look, matching your own defeated expression, before turning around and walking out of your apartment. The door shuts firmly behind him, neither a slam nor a gentle stop, leaving you stranded in the middle of your living space, watching his silhouette disappear.

You sigh. You don’t think Yoongi will ever tell you why he hates Halloween. And while that may be no fault of your own, you can’t help but feel like it has something to do with you.

Yoongi could probably count the amount of times he’s gone to a frat party on one hand, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t already know everything there is to know about them. In his eyes, once you’ve been to one, you’ve been to them all.

Still, he supposes that it being Halloween makes this one a little different. Everyone’s in some sort of costume, whether it be good or bad or just plain old lazy, and there are at least a few orange and black decorations lining the walls of the Castle, and they’ve curated a playlist with Halloween songs as well as rap songs Yoongi has heard plenty of times before, so for once, Yoongi will give the fraternity a bit of credit when it comes to their Halloween party-planning.

Beside him, you take another giant chug of your drink from the orange solo cup in your hand, wincing as the alcohol burns your throat on the way down.

“Hey, take it easy, okay?” He says, though he doubts you can even hear him over the music, loud in the kind of way that his ears are going to be ringing far into tomorrow morning.

“I’m fine!” You shout back, even though you are definitely not. The entire room reeks of a mixture of vodka and sickly sweet soda.

“I just want to make sure you’re not overdoing it!” He tells you as the two of you get shoved together from some massive guy pushing past Yoongi and sending him crashing towards you. He catches a glimpse of the contents of your cup, eyebrows raising when he sees that it’s almost empty. You just got that drink five minutes ago.

You smile. “I’m not!”

The song changes, and Yoongi swears that he can feel the entire house shake as everyone screams, cheering as they bounce up and down, dancing to the beat. Next to him, you are finishing the last few drops of whatever’s in your cup, finding an empty ledge to place it down on when you’re done, and pulling him in close to you.

“Let’s dance!” You shriek excitedly.

And who is Yoongi to resist?

He lets you take your hand in his own and parade him around the tiny little space the two of you share, a couple square feet of freedom in this crowded room, chock full of sweaty bodies just like his. Yoongi may not have had as much to drink as you, but the little bit of alcohol in his system is already shutting down normal mental processes like not-staring-at-you-constantly and pretending-that-he-likes-you-just-as-a-friend, sending him into a tizzy whenever he meets your starstruck eyes.

Even in this dingy, sweaty, unventilated fraternity living room, you are beautiful. You are beautiful here, and you are beautiful at three in the morning after twelve straight hours of studying, and you are beautiful after spilling the dining hall’s chicken noodle soup all over yourself.

God, you’re the only person Yoongi is looking at in this room. You’re the only person he sees.

Shaking his head, Yoongi abandons those thoughts as the song comes to an end, a hand wrapped around your wrist as he leans into your ear. “Do you wanna go outside? It’s hot in here!”

“Okay, whatever!” You agree easily, too easygoing after you’ve got a few drinks in you.

Yoongi grabs a hold of your sweaty hand and tugs you towards the back door, one that he thinks leads to a fenced in backyard. You squeeze through the crowd, getting a couple of drinks spilled on your shoes on the way until you reach the back door and Yoongi fumbles with the knob, shaking it a couple of times before it gets loose. Eventually, the two of you stumble outside into the backyard, where a couple of people are playing beer pong and a couple of others look like they’re making out.

It’s a frat party. What else did Yoongi expect?

It’s the end of October, and Yoongi doesn’t even have on a jacket, but the chill of the night has little effect on him after being in a room that’s felt like one hundred degrees for an hour. Out here, Yoongi feels like he can finally breathe.

“It’s kinda cold out here, don’t you think?”

Yoongi doesn’t even have time to respond before you’re wrapping yourself up in him, curling into his body and placing his arm around your figure, letting the heat from his frame radiate onto your skin.

“Better than being in there,” Yoongi reasons.

“But aren’t you having fun?”

He looks down to see you looking up with him with big, wide eyes, like you’re afraid that he isn’t having fun, or afraid that you’re enjoying this night more than he is. It makes him smile. “With you, I am.”

You grin at that, turning back to face forward, head pressing into the crook of his neck. “That’s good to hear,” you tell him. “It seemed like you were kinda nervous.”

“Nervous?” His voice cracks as he says it. Fuck.

“Yeah, is there something you wanna tell me? It looks like you’ve been dying to say something all night,” you comment mindlessly, clearly much more observant now than you are when you’re sober. Or perhaps, Yoongi’s just more obvious.

He takes a deep breath, pressing his eyes shut tightly. This is his chance. He knows it.

“Actually, yes, there is,” he says, and it feels like he has to force the words out of his mouth because they’re refusing to come out on their own, pausing at the edge of his lips. It feels like he has to overcome his own mind in order to tell you, feels like every word is a sucker punch to his lungs.

You pull away from him, looking up at Yoongi with big, blinking eyes. It’s a clear night, and Yoongi knows because he can see the fucking stars reflected in your pupils, see them twinkling as your glossy eyes gaze back up at him. You look up at Yoongi and God, you are just so beautiful. You are beautiful, and Yoongi wonders, then, if you know. If you know how Yoongi looks at you. If you know how he feels about you. He is so in love. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. You are beautiful and he is so in love, and he’s been dying to tell you that and this might be his only opportunity to do so, because tomorrow will be a new day and Yoongi won’t have the guts tomorrow. This is his only chance.

You deserve to know.

“Well?” You ask him. “What is it?”

Yoongi wraps his arm around the small of your back, pulls you into him, and presses his lips to yours.

Hoseok’s party is fun. It’s definitely one of the better ones you’ve been to in your four years of university so far. There aren’t too many people, and the drinks are actually good instead of just burning your throat, and his music taste is impeccable.

And yet, you don’t think you’ve ever been so unenthused at a party in your whole life. Thriller by Michael Jackson blares from Hoseok’s television speakers, chatter fills the room, and Hoseok’s girlfriend, Haebin, is constantly checking up on you, but never has one place felt so empty.

It’s not really very difficult for you to wonder why.

“Hey, Y/N!”

You whip your head around to find Haein standing by the kitchen table, gesturing towards Hoseok as he’s looking up the recipe for a drink he wants to try.

“You want one? Hoseok’s trying to make Long Island Iced Tea,” Haebin asks. Next to her, Hoseok is struggling to get the measurements right. At least he’s making an attempt.

You stare down at your nearly-full cup of strawberry daiquiri. You took one sip when Haebin first handed it to you thirty minutes ago, and haven’t touched it since. “No, I’m alright, thank you.”

Haebin sighs, patting Hoseok on the back encouragingly before she makes her way over to where you’re sitting on their couch, pressed up against the arm of the sofa as you mindlessly swirl the drink around in your cup, eyes zoning into the whirlpool you’re creating. She sits down next to you with a smile, with the kind of look on her face that makes you simultaneously thankful for and dread the conversation you’re about to have.

“Hey, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.” You don’t even believe yourself when you say it.

“Listen, you don’t have to tell me. I just know that Halloween is your favorite holiday and I was wondering if there was something getting you down tonight,” Haebin says in that comforting, gentle sort of way, like an old friend who knows all your tells.

“It’s not a big deal, really. I think I’m just out of it tonight,” you say, not drunk enough to divulge more information but also not sober enough to keep your mouth completely shut.

Haebin smiles at you, lips pursed. “Alright then. If everything’s alright.” She pushes her hands onto her thighs as she gets off of the couch, heading back towards the kitchen to help Hoseok figure out how to mix drinks. But before she leaves you alone, she turns around and says one more thing. “You know, I don’t know why Yoongi’s not here or anything, but I wish that he was. You always look so much happier whenever he’s around.”

And that just sends your mind into meltdown.

Defeated, alone, and best friend-less, you place your cup down on the end table to your left and get up off of the couch, beginning to gather your belongings, your coat and your shoes and your bag, tugging your arms through the sleeves as you storm towards the door, eyebrows knitted together, lips pursed.

“Hey, where are you going—?”

“I gotta go, Haebin. I just—” You pull on a shoe, tugging at the boot as it slips over your heel, “—I gotta go. Thank Hoseok for me, okay? I have to go.”

You only have time to catch Haebin nod, wordless, before you tug open the door to Hoseok’s apartment and stomp outside.

This is the worst Halloween of your life, bar none. The time when you were four and you tripped over a curb on the sidewalk, spraining your ankle doesn’t even come close. It’s your very last year to celebrate Halloween as a college student, to celebrate it by getting dressed up in a low-effort costume and spending time with your friends, and your best friend isn’t even here. He refused.

He refused and you still don’t know why, but worst of all he refused and you still wish he was here. You wish you could have spent time with him tonight. More than anything else. You wish you could have spent the night wrapped up together on your couch, or on your bed, watching your favorite television shows and enjoying each other’s company. You wish you could have curled into his body as the television blared, pressed your head against his shoulder and felt the warmth of his skin on yours. God, you wish you could have.

You wish you could have told him.

You wish you had the guts to.

Twenty minutes later finds you outside one of the dozens of frat parties likely occurring on campus right now, the bass from the music so loud that you can feel it in your eardrums even outside of the building. No part of you wants to go inside something like that, but at this point you start to wonder if maybe hopping different frats is actually your best idea. Get a drink, get drunk, and then move onto the next one. Rinse and repeat until you don’t remember a thing about this terrible, awful night.

As you walk along the sidewalk, you spot another student sitting on the curb underneath a leaf-less tree, a cheap black drugstore masquerade mask covering the top half of his face. He doesn’t seem to be having a particularly enjoyable night either.

Normally, the last thing you’d want to do is sit down next to a stranger whose face is disguised, because who knows what could happen to you if you do, but there are at least twenty people surrounding the two of you, loitering outside the frat house in the hopes that they can eventually get inside. And honestly, you could use a fucking break.

As casually as you can possibly manage, you take a seat next to the boy, a few inches apart from him as he looks up at you. You can’t make out too much in the dim light of the frat house, but he’s illuminated just enough for you to see his eyes widen at the sight of you.

“You don’t mind, do you?” You ask.

He shakes his head.

You smile in thanks, shifting around where you’re seated on the cold cement, eyes drifting all over the place, from the houses across the street to the road to the people standing around, anything to avoid turning back towards the boy and initiating an even more awkward conversation. Sitting down, the world stops spinning, just a little bit. You didn’t have too much to drink at Hoseok’s, but it was enough to loosen your mind.

“Can I say something?” You say loudly, turning towards the boy.

It was enough to loosen your lips too, apparently.

The boy stares back at you, silent.

“I’m sorry, I just need to get this off my chest.” You close your eyes, breathing in and breathing out, feeling your chest rise and fall. “I am not having a great night. And I wish I was out here with another friend of mine, instead. He’s my best friend, actually. He just… didn’t want to come out tonight with me. But I wish he was here, because I love spending time with him, and I miss him.”

The words spill off of your tongue like lava from a volcano, bursting from your lips completely unfiltered. It surprises you, a little, how much you actually have to say. How much has been weighing on your chest.

You don’t expect him to respond. Truthfully, you can’t even believe you’re unloading all of your baggage onto him in the first place. Since when are you the type of person to tell other people about the tragedies of your life?

But then, he says, “You do?”

And it makes you wonder what else you’ve been keeping hidden.

“Yeah, I guess I do,” you realize. “I love spending time with him. He makes every day brighter, turns everything he touches into laughter. And I wanted to spend time with him tonight because I actually thought he would want to. You know, we carved pumpkins together a few days ago. Of each other’s faces.” You force out a laugh. “We carved each other’s faces into pumpkins and he still isn’t here tonight. I wanted him to be here because he’s my best friend, and because he makes me so happy, and even other people are noticing what effect he has on me. Noticing how fucking happy he makes me. Because he does. I feel like I’m a better person with him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him and he’s not here and instead of going to look for him I’m sitting here telling you the sob story that is my life and I just wish—”

“Does that mean you love him?” The boy asks softly.

“What?”

“Does that mean you love him?”

You turn to look at the boy, eyebrows raised, almost ready to deny such a thing, but when you open your mouth, nothing comes out.

How could you say you don’t love Yoongi? Of course you do. He is your best friend. You never want to live a day when he’s not by your side. You want to spend the rest of your life with him. He makes you smile and laugh like it’s nobody’s business, brightens your day without even trying. Just seeing him is enough to lift your spirits. Seeing his face on the other side of your apartment door, all ripped jeans and Converse sneakers, hands wrapped in the sleeves of his hoodie, dark brown eyes blinking back at you, pink lips parted in a grin. That image you have of him in your head—it’s one you don’t ever want to forget. He is standing in your apartment, lips upturned, eyes crushed into crescents, smiling at you. He is mid-laugh, grinning from ear to ear at something you said. He is right there.

“Well, yeah,” you say, because what else are you supposed to do? “I guess I do.”

Suddenly, your chest feels a whole lot lighter.

The boy next to you smiles, the dim light barely illuminating his features, but when you look at him there is something so strangely familiar about him, about the way he blinks at you, about the peak of his Cupid’s bow, about how his lips are stretched into a grin. It couldn’t be him… could it?

But before you have time to ask, he is leaning towards you and pressing his lips atop yours, crashing your mouths together in a desperate, messy kiss. His palm presses against your cheek and you can’t help but sink into it, sink into the way his other hand curls around to rest on the small of your back, let yourself be engulfed by him.

You’ve never kissed Yoongi before, but you know that this is what it must be like.

You know, from the way your blood starts to sizzle, sparks rushing through your veins. From the way your heart is pumping, loud and clear in your ears, like it’s been jolted to life. Like a shock is running through your body. Like a warmth is filling you up, from the inside out.

When you part, as Yoongi takes off his mask, he can’t keep the smile off of his face. “I knew it. I knew you loved me.”

“What are you doing out here?” You ask, positively shocked. “I thought you hated Halloween.”

“I do,” Yoongi confirms. “Or, well, I did, I guess.”

“Then what changed?”

“You. Us. We changed,” Yoongi says, motioning between your bodies. “I hated Halloween because it had bad memories for me. Nothing crazy, but, yeah. You don’t remember?”

“What?” Your mouth drops open. “What should I remember?”

“We kissed that night.” Yoongi begins, eyes shifting down towards the ground. Clearly recalling this is awkward for him. “Halloween, freshman year. Outside of the Castle.”

You don’t remember this at all.

“Well, I kissed you and you kissed me, and I thought that we had established then and there that we liked each other. You know, like, really liked each other. But you were so drunk that night. I don’t know what you had, but you could hardly walk by the time I got you back to your dorm. Your roommate was furious with me.” He shakes his head at the memory, replaying in his mind like a movie. “And I thought, okay, we’ll just talk about this tomorrow. But you must have had a wicked headache or something, because I saw you the next day and you said—”

“God, whatever happened last night, I don’t want to know.”

It’s the middle of the day, the sun high in the crisp November sky, but you have been cradling your forehead ever since Yoongi last dropped you off, back at your dorm, when you were slowly starting to crash.

“What?” His voice is hollow, empty.

“Last night fucked me up real good,” you say with a huff, shaking your head. “I’m glad I don’t remember what happened last night.”

As Yoongi traipses back to square one, his heart shakes in its cage.

“I guess you just didn’t remember,” Yoongi tries to explain, much to your horror as you realize that you and Yoongi have been crushing on each other hopelessly for three years extra without you even realizing it. “So, uh, yeah. That’s why I didn’t like Halloween.”

“You kissed me that night?”

“What?”

“You kissed me that night? Outside of the Castle?”

A tingling on your lips. A faint feeling of warmth. You remember bits of that night. It was cold, and you were freezing in your costume. And you and Yoongi had gone outside to escape the crowd, and he said something, and then you said something, and then he—!

“Yeah.” Yoongi nods. “I did.”

“And I didn’t remember?”

“I mean, you were really drunk.”

Your shoulders sink, the thought of Yoongi, helplessly pining after you for three more years because he thought you didn’t like him like that, because he thought that the love you shared was one-sided, still sticking by your side as your best friend. At the thought of him deciding it was better to be best friends and keep that love hidden than tell you and risk it all over again. At the thought of him accepting what he thought was his fate.

“I’m sorry,” you say. What else is there to tell him? If you had remembered, if you just didn’t say those words, if you had just told him how you felt, this would have all been so much easier.

“It’s okay now,” Yoongi says, expression growing fond as he pulls you in for a hug, sad to see you so gloomy. “You love me and I love you. What more could I want?”

A realization dawns on you.

Pulling apart from him ever so slightly, you quirk an eyebrow. “You know, you could have just kissed me again the next day, and then we wouldn’t have had to deal with all of this. Plus, you would have still liked Halloween.”

Yoongi scoffs, pressing a kiss to your icy cheek. “So what? I like it now, how about that? I fucking love Halloween now. It turned my best friend into my girlfriend. She’s the love of my life. We can celebrate every Halloween together from now on until the end of time.”

You grin, pressing a kiss back on his little button nose, pink from the cold. Finally. “That’s the spirit.”

↳ don’t forget to message me with any thoughts or feedback!

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moral-turpitudes · 4 years ago

Text

Silver Linings: Part 1

Masterlist | Rules | Peaky Prompts

A/N: Excuse any of my terrible math skills and if this seems rushed. This is the best I could come up with lol, I hope you all like it though!

Trigger Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Slight Fighting, Descriptions of Drug Use, Drinking, Familial Drama, Fluff, Mentions of Adoption, etc.

Word Count: 3,972

Characters: Alfie Solomons x Adopted Daughter!Reader + Michael Gray x Alfie’s Adopted Daughter!Reader

Summary: After growing tired of hiding, Y/N decides to venture out from the back of her fathers shop, not knowing she’d quite literally fall for one of her father’s enemies who happened to be lurking around the corner. But with tensions growing between the two families, one decision could change the course of their lives as they know it, for better and for worse.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | *Part 4* | Part 5

“Alright Y/N, now when you aim you gotta line yer eyes up with the sight. Take a deep breath, and on that exhale of yours yer gonna pull that little trigger right there.” Alfie said, the teenage girl only coming up to around his chest, her hands shaking slightly as she aimed the small hand gun for one of the flour sacks in the back of the shop. With a small exhale she fired, the bullet whirling through the air and into the target she’d helped draw on it the day before.

“See that’s not so hard innit?” He asked, smiling at the new light in his life.

Y/N heard her father calling for her upstairs, bringing her out of her daydreams from years ago. That was during the first week she’d lived with him after he adopted her from the nearby orphanage. She had no adoptive mother, and no other friends except their dog Cyril, seeing as she had to be practically hidden away on a daily basis. The only time she really went out was to work in her fathers shop, where she’d do her best to avoid being spotted by her fathers business partners-some of which who had strained relationships with him and his men.

Shaking the memory from her brain, she hesitantly walked up the stairs, the creaking of the wood announcing her arrival.

“There you are love. Listen...I’m having Mr. Shelby come by soon so you’ll have to work in the back alright? I know you’ll get me for it later but I’ll make up for it mmkay?” He said, looking his now 21 year old daughter in the eyes. People often found him intimidating, but over the years she grew used to him, knowing deep down he was a sweet person. With every interaction she observed, she could see the pain in his eyes over not being able to really introduce her, knowing it would put her at risk. But deep down there was a mutual understanding between them that it was going to be inevitable that someone would find out, but neither of them thought it would be so soon.

With a sigh, she reluctantly walked towards the back where the other “bakers” worked the ovens and inspected shipments. While she organized bricks of cocaine for shipment, she felt her stomach drop as she realized she’d left her gloves in the front of the shop. She often hated the texture of the bricks as she packed them away, the fabric gloves being her only solace when she was given the task.

Swallowing hard, she nervously crept around the corner, eyeing Thomas Shelby and some of the other blinders in her fathers office as she continued, not noticing the man she collided with as she stumbled back slightly.

“Oi! I’m so sorry sir...wasn’t even fuckin’ looking.” She said, brushing a stray hair from her face and tightening her apron around her waist.

“No problem love, you alright?” He asked, looking concerned as he adjusted his well tailored suit.

“Y-yeah. Just looking for my gloves. I have to go.” She said, knowing she wasn’t supposed to be out for long while the blinders were there, yet trying to not look the dashing man in the eyes.

As she walked away, his eyes followed her to her station where she usually rolled dough and decorated pastries, grabbing her gloves which were tinted white from the previous cocaine shipment she handled earlier in the morning.

“Hey...miss? Before you go...what’s your name?” He asked, a crooked smile spreading across his features as she neared him.

“Uhm...it’s Y/N. What’s yours? You don’t look like you’re from ‘round here.” She said.

“I’m Michael, Michael Gray. I’m with the blinders.” He said.

“Oh....um, well I have to get going. It was nice meeting you...Michael.” She said, awkwardly putting on the gloves as he recognized the powder falling off them.

“What do you around here anyway? I know that’s not flour on those gloves.” He said with a smirk. She swallowed hard before answering, her eyes flicking to the window of her fathers office.

“Um...I bake, and...I organize things. Listen...I really do have to go. I’ll see you ‘round sometime, yeah?” She asked. He followed her gaze to the window, noticing the nervous look on her face.

“Alright. See you around, Y/N.” He said with a wink, walking back to his lookout spot in the corner.

She smirked slightly as she passed him, reluctantly heading straight to the back, the other workers paying her no mind as she resumed packing the bricks.

As she worked, she could hear shouts coming from her fathers office, her stomach tightening in knots at the tension she could see forming in the room. Thomas and him standing close to each other, most likely mumbling threats under their breaths. A few moments later, she saw the men exit the tattered room, putting their razored caps on and storming out the door. Michael ultimately leaving with them, but catching her staring as he looked back towards the room she was in. She smiled lightly as he smirked, shutting the door behind him.

She shook her head as she turned back, getting the rest of her packing done while shaking away the thought of someone like him ever taking an interest. She knew her father dealt in dangerous business, so she wasn’t afraid of the blinders and her father doing business necessarily, but she couldn’t deny that them feuding terrified her, knowing even one slip-up could put her or her father at risk. Blowing their years-long cover.

As she was lost in thought, Alfie walked down after they left, smiling as he grabbed a bottle of rum from one of the crates and locking it back.

“You don’t have to organize all those love. How about we go call it a day aye? I know you’re probably wanting summing’ because your old man made ya work back ‘ere all day.” He said. His words annoying to her ears as of late as she grew bored of her life at the shop and at home. One question forever buzzing in the back of her mind as she continued her monotonous tasks.

“I was wondering something....” She said, taking her gloves off and turning towards him.

“Yeah? Wondering about work or what? I’m all ears now you know.” He said, taking a swig from the bottle in his hand.

Her stomach tightened again as she looked her loving, yet over-protective father in the eyes.

“I was uh...wondering how you would feel if I moved out?” She asked, the thought barely working its way through her anxious mind before spewing out of her mouth.

“What?” He asked, his eyes squinting as he cocked his head to the side.

“I-I just think since I’m an adult now, I’d like to have a place of my own. That way I won’t come between ya and the business as much. I’m tired of hiding, dad.” She said, throwing the gloves on the table as she sat next to him.

“What devils gotten into your bones? Have you been sniffing the snow or drinking me rum?” He asked.

“No dad....I just...I just want to be more independent that’s all.” She said.

“I’ll tell ya what...if you pack the snow for the next month I’ll up your pay so you can get you a place. I’ll chip in some too but getting it on your own will be good for ya. I taught you to shoot but I didn’t teach ya about life aye?” He said.

“No not really. But spare me the lectures. Let’s get home. I’m starving.” She said.

“Alright. Let’s get on with it then.” He said, walking with his cane as they made their way to the car.

As the next few weeks passed, she found herself going into work with a smile. Knowing she’d get to work towards her own place, and for the chance to see the dapper blinder who’d been making regular appearances lately, and to her surprise, for more than business reasons.

He’d been sent by Thomas to crunch numbers and talk bets with Alfie, knowing that he was sent to handle more of the legitimate business than the illegal stuff.

But if Y/N learned anything throughout her years, it was knowing when to make herself known.

She waited until Alfie closed his office door, watching Michael walk down the creaky steps as she did a small whistle.

He turned around and grinned, walking towards her, as was becoming their habit recently.

“Y/N, didn’t think you were here, love. Must’ve been in the back again aye?” He asked, quietly. She nodded and led him to one of the women’s lavatories.

“W-why are we in here? I haven’t even taken you on a date.” He asked, a mischievous grin on his lips.

“Shh. There’s no other place right now for us to go. I haven’t told him.” She said.

“Told who?” He asked.

“My-my father. Alfie.” She said, nervously biting her lip as she removed her hand from his. Crossing her arms over her chest.

“Wait...your father is Alfie fucking Solomons?” He asked, his face hardening at the fact. His usual happy demeanor fading.

“Well, adoptive father. He uh adopted me when I was 16 from an orphanage ’round here. He wanted to protect me...from uh...people like you. I guess he’s had some bad history with the blinders and other groups so I’ve been most my life, just working here to pass the time.” She said.

“People like me? What...are you afraid of me?” He asked.

“What? No! I’ve been around dangerous men all my life. I’m just saying that your blinder cousins may not take a liking to me and neither will my father to you. I just have a bad feeling about it.” She said.

“So...what are we to do? Fucking talk in the bathroom every week or what?” He asked, a small smirk playing at his lips.

“We’ll do what I do best. We’ll have to hide.” She said. He looked at her with a confused expression as he put his hand on her hips.

“I get off at 4pm and my father won’t be home until late at night. I usually go straight home, but meet me at the warehouse later around 7pm, yeah?” She asked, seeing him smirk.

“Michael I’m deadly serious. If Thomas or my father finds out we’re as good as dead.” She said.

“Fine...I’ll meet you, but I want you to bring some of the snow. Can you sneak it out?” He asked.

“Yeah. Alright, now go, the workers are coming down the hall.” She said, hearing the plethora of Alfie’s men stomping down the dark hall, making it easier for Michael to slip out un-noticed.

“See you then, Y/N.” He said, pecking her cheek before he left.

She rubbed the spot, her cheeks flushing at the brief contact.

“Y/N?” Alfie’s voice rang from the hall, making her heart race as she thought of all the reasons he could be asking for her, internally praying that it wasn’t because he caught Michael leaving.

“Yeah dad?” She asked, quickly stepping out of the restroom.

“Thought ya ran off love. I was just gonna remind ya I’m working late again.” He said.

“Alright, how many nights are you working late?” She asked.

“Well, probably every day for this month. Thomas and the rest of his blinders are damn near making me lose me mind.” He said.

“Oh...ok. Well I’ll keep an eye on Cyril then. Is it ok if I go out to the shops later? Been wanting to stock up for the new place, for whenever I get it.” She said.

“I mean I’m not going to be there so I can’t stop ya can’t I? You can but remember your gun and that knife. You remember how to use it aye?” He asked.

“Yes dad, I can’t really forget stabbing a man for you, nor can I forget putting a bullet through his head.” She said, shivering slightly at the memory of when things got tense at the shop with a disgruntled employee. Alfie had beaten the man unconscious and dragged the man to the back, telling her that it would be good practice. And it was, but after it was done, she vowed to herself that she’d never use such weapons unless she had to.

“Right, well I have to go deal with some business. I’ll let you off at 4 like usual alright?” He asked.

“Okay, thanks dad. I’ll see you...I guess tomorrow depending on how late you get in.” She said giving him a hug before walking back to her station.

The last few hours dragged on as she reminisced over the past couple of weeks. Her heart skipped a beat thinking about how they’d secretly talk and make out behind the shop where her dad couldn’t see, and how on days like today she had to drag him into the restroom as her heart beat out of her chest at the rebelliousness of it all. It was nothing compared to what she planned to get away with tonight, and for hopefully weeks to come, but it was a small step towards her independence, even if they had to hide their relationship from the world.

As the clock struck 4 she headed towards the back of the building, snagging a bottle of rum from an opened crate and replacing it with one that had just came off the line for the night. Shoving the bottle in her purse as she grabbed a rather small brick of cocaine, it being one of the various runts in the pile they’d received that day.

With quick steps, she went out the door and down to the car that was waiting for her. The purse growing slightly heavy as she continued on. Her father didn’t want her walking home alone of course, and so he arranged for one of his men to routinely take her home, ultimately becoming a blessing and a curse for her independence she was so desperately trying to achieve.

“Hello Tim, I have an odd request today.” She said, counting the huge wad of cash in her purse she’d managed to save up well before asking about apartments

“What’s that Ms.Solomons?” He asked, hid old face wrinkling with a smile.

“Can we stop by the housing department? I’ve had my eye on an apartment for a few weeks. Don’t worry though, I’ve already gotten my fathers approval.” She said, pulling off her biggest lie yet.

“Alright, after that do you wish to go home? He asked.

“Yes please.” She said, watching as the streets zipped by.

Once at the housing department, she told the landlord where she’d like to stay and she followed her to the requested location. Her eyes lit up as she saw the rather grand place. It was just close enough that her father needn’t worry too much while also being just enough of a distance away from the shops she loved going to. It was a rather safe area given the town and her fathers plethora of men protecting her, but she enjoyed the new sense of independence as she gave the woman a cash deposit, along with enough for the years rent.

The woman’s eyes lit up as she saw the amount of cash, Y/N rather un-phased given her fathers business.

“Are you sure Ms.? This is so much in advance.” She said.

“Yes. When shall I move in?” She asked. Checking her watch and seeing it was just after 5pm.

“Oh I’d say ‘round any time next week. Here’s your key, just drop by before you begin moving in.” She said with a smile as she got in her car and left.

“Alright Tim, I’m ready to go home.” She said, a satisfied smile on her face.

“I’m impressed. You got this place yourself? Alfie must be proud.” He said.

“Mhmm.” Y/N said, nervously fidgeting with her hands as she remembered the lie. He’d have her neck if he knew she’d already bought the place earlier than he would’ve liked. But what could it hurt?

The minutes passed rather quickly as she was dropped off at her house, walking inside to see Cyril’s tail wagging as she came through the front door. The house was dimly lit and quiet, just as she’d left it that morning. She played with him and made sure his water bowl was filled, seeing as the maid would help feed him later, but she still loved helping wherever she could.

“Ms. Y/N, I have your dress ready. I’ll feed the dog later and make sure the house is kept before leaving. I hope you enjoy your date.” The older woman said, a genuine smile on her face.

“Thank you so much. I can’t tell you how much you’ve helped me these last few weeks. Here.” She said, giving her a few slips of cash from her purse.

“Just as a thank you. I’ll be moving in next week to my apartment. Dad doesn’t know though so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell him.” She said.

The maids eyes widened at the cash in her hand, agreeing with a small smile and a quick nod before returning to her duties. As much as she loved this house, she wanted to do things on her own terms. She wanted to meet people on her own terms, and finally not hide herself. To make more friends than just the maid. To start actually living.

With an excited smile she ran up the stairs, putting the casual dress on and doing her makeup, deciding to leave her hair as-is, then anxiously making her way outside. The purses weight tugging at her shoulder as she walked down the quiet streets, her gun in her purse and her small knife in hand.

Once she neared the warehouse, she sat around the back, taking a swig of the rum before Michael got there to calm her nerves.

She watched the sun set over Camden Town, the birds songs ending as the insects buzzed about, the air turning a bit colder as she looked at her watch. It was just after 7pm, her heart sinking in her chest as she thought he’d stood her up. But after a few moments, she heard footsteps, making her panic slightly not knowing who was behind them. She carefully drew her gun, aiming at the man as he walked closer, his hands soon up in surrender.

“Y/N? It’s me. Michael.” He said, a smirk on his face, lowering his hands.

“I figured you were ‘round back, didn’t think you’d try to shoot me though.” He said.

“Sorry. You never know out here.” She said, putting her gun away and retrieving the cocaine and rum.

“You carried all that here? I’m impressed.” He said, inspecting the cocaine as she opened the bottle, taking another swig from it. She cringed internally as the liquid burned her throat. She’d only drank a few times, not to any huge extent, but now that she was older and more capable, she figured she at least could drink how she pleased.

“How’d you score this rum?” He asked, taking a swig from the bottle as well.

“I stole it from my dads stash in the back. And that coke is one of the runts of the batch, it was too small to pack in the big crates. Figured I’d bring the whole thing since you seemed to know about it a couple weeks ago.” She said, smirking at the memory of their first awkward meeting.

“Have you tried it?” He asked, leaning back against the wall of the warehouse.

“No.” She said turning away from his gaze as she nervously brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

“It’s easy. Watch.” He said, unwrapping it and shaving off a sliver of the white substance with her knife. He sat it on top of the brick and made sure it was all crushed, forming it in a straight line.

He handed her the brick carefully as she held it up towards his face, him inhaling the powder through his nose in one fell swoop.

“You want me to shove that shit up my nose? Are you mad?” She asked, giggling as she took another swig from the rum.

“Yeah. Can’t hide from everything love.” He said, his words hitting home probably more than he realized.

“Alright, if I die, my fathers gonna have your head on a spike.” She said.

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take.” He said, preparing a smaller amount of the drug and holding it up to where she could inhale it through her nose. Her nostril burned as she did so, the foreign particles lacing their way through her system.

She laughed and shook her head, wiping her nose of any excess powder as she looked up at Michael who was chuckling slightly.

“That was so odd. I’m not doing that again. Not right now anyway.” She said, handing him the bottle of rum as she curled up next to him. It had only been about a month since they’d met, but even then, their interactions became more frequent.

Over the next few weeks, it was as if they’d known each other for years the way they got on. His aunt Polly eventually seeing a spark in his eye that wasn’t there before, and the same went for Alfie.

“You’ve met someone. I can tell.” Polly said one night, catching him coming in drunk on more than one occasion.

“Yeah I did. Tommy can’t do anything about it. It’s not his concern so don’t go telling him.” He said as he stumbled into the house.

As Michael grappled with the weight of seeing an adversaries daughter, Y/N had gradually moved things into her apartment with the help of her driver, all under her fathers nose. But she knew that once her room was more vacant, he’d catch on. Knowing if the blinders didn’t anger him enough, her leaving suddenly surely would.

One night after a drunken date with her mystery boyfriend, Alfie confronted her. Holding the small brick they’d chipped away at over the previous weeks.

“Oi! You wanna explain this? No daughter of mine is going to be sneaking drugs in me house. Do you really think I’m dumb? Cuz I guarantee you I’m not. This can’t happen. Not under my roof.” He said, lighting his cigar.

“Well if you didn’t want to pack it anyway I thought I might as well put it to good use. But uh, I’ll be sneaking it under me own roof from now on. I’ve bought a place if you couldn’t already tell from barging in my room to find that.” She said, folding her arms like she often did when she was frustrated.

Alfie stepped closer to her, his eyes not leaving hers as she barely flinched.

“I’ll find out who you’re doing all this for. Once I do, you’ll wish ya never stole a thing.” He said, walking towards his chair he usually sat on in their grand living room.

Y/N shook her head and chuckled to herself, stomping off towards her room. Her mind raced as she thought about what to do, grabbing what was left of her clothes and hurling them into her suitcases, deciding to leave the house for good in the morning.

Alfie sighed and sat back in his chair as he heard Y/N rummaging around upstairs. The sweet girl he helped raise all of a sudden wanting to leave the nest.

It seemed like everything was fine in their lives until the peaky fucking blinders waltzed into his shop. Not caring who they destroyed as long as they got their money, their rum, or their drugs.

#peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagines #peaky blinders fanfic #michael gray x female!reader #michael gray x reader #michael gray x y/n #michael gray #katiesfics #alfie solomons #alfie solomons x adopted daughter!reader

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gingerpeachtae · 4 years ago

Text

Concentric [24]

masterlist

Words: 25.5k 🤡

Genres: fantasy!AU, angst, fluff, enemies to lovers, eventual smut

Warnings: angst, mentions of violence, blood, trauma, guilt

Summary: You had been ready for the end of the semester. You had been ready to spend time away from your best friend, Jimin, and finally move on from the feelings you harbored. Yet, after your friend was forced to reveal a secret, you found yourself in a new world that was chock full of magic, war, and wonder. So, here you were, basically thrown into your own fantasy novel, with your best friend on one side, and six male warriors on the other.

A/N: pls accept this long update as apology for making y’all wait 6 months 😭 also brace yourselves cuz whew this one is a doozy. ENGOY! 💙

The forest was a blur of green and brown in the Saeni’s eyes. Their feet pounded against the ground in controlled yet rushed footfalls. The air was filled with sounds of rustling leaves and creaking trees. Bird calls and trickling water. Ragged breaths and suppressed groans.

Wincing at his burning thighs, Tae slowed his pace ever so slightly to allow Jungkook to have the lead. The blue-eyed Saeni glanced to the side and took in the blood on his brother’s back. The crimson flower was getting bigger. Red flowed from the maknae’s back, trailed down his leg, and stained the earth behind him in small marks. Yet, Jungkook continued to press on.

Just as Tae went to open his mouth to try to reason with his brother again, to try to get Jungkook to stop and stay put while he went on and looked for Jimin and Y/N, a putrid smell floated over with the breeze.

The distinct smell of death and decay.

“Hyung,” Jungkook whispered in a raspy voice as he came to a stop and turned in the direction of the stench.

“I know, I know,” Tae said back quietly while also slowing down.

Both male’s chests heaved rapidly and their bodies felt heavy and sluggish from exhaustion. Tae rolled his shoulder and retrieved an arrow from his quiver before silently notching it. Then, they began to creep through the trees and shrubbery with soft steps. Neither of them could hear anyone or anything besides the forest… but they still went slowly.

Once the putrid smell was strong enough to make his eyes water, Jungkook grit his teeth and reached over his shoulder to unsheathe one of his short blades.

The metal flashed in the sunlight and Jungkook held it firmly, but Tae placed a hand on his arm and warned, “Don’t do anything stupid. You’re in no shape to charge in full force.”

Jungkook shook his head. “If it’s for her… for her and hyung… I can do it.”

Tae fought the urge to roll his eyes. “Shut up. We go in slow and see what we’re dealing with. Got it?”

The other male huffed, but after a few seconds he nodded.

About a minute later, when the smell almost made them want to gag, the two Saeni brushed through a collection of leaves and thin branches. And then they saw them. The bodies.

A quick count revealed there were thirteen in total. All dead. Some were riddled with arrows, others with stab wounds and slash marks. One of them was even speared to a tree.

But what made Tae and Jungkook freeze was that they recognized some of them.

Three of them, to be exact.

The female speared to the tree trunk, the male with an arrow impaled through his throat, and the male slumped against the base of a tree.

Jungkook released a shaky, uneven breath and whispered, “Hyung, they were the ones… the ones selected to go with-”

“Chim and Mingi. I know,” Tae answered in a quiet voice as his body started to tremble with both fatigue and fear.

As the burgundy head released a weak “fuck fuck fuck!” and stumbled to the side to brace himself on a low-hanging branch, Tae lowered his bow and stepped forward to silently walk through the gruesome scene. He inspected the other bodies strewn across the forest floor. All draikensu. No sign of Chim, Y/N, or Mingi. Exhaling, he went to walk back to Jungkook, but a disturbance on the ground caught his attention. Crouching down, the blue-eyed Saeni lightly trailed his fingertips over the overturned dead leaves and lifted his gaze slightly.

The same disturbance continued into the trees, leading away from the bodies.

A dull, thumping sound broke Tae’s attention and the noise made him quickly turn his head to the side. The Saeni saw Jungkook pull his arm back from the tree he was leaning against and pound his fist into the trunk again.

“What happened to them? Where are they? Where are they!?” The younger male squeezed his peridot eyes shut and ground his fist into the rough bark.

“Kook? Hey, calm down!” Tae shot to his feet and ran to his brother. Before the younger male could punch the tree a third time, Tae grabbed his wrist. “Jungkook! I checked the bodies. They’re not here… they’re not here.”

Jungkook whipped around to face his brother and pulled his arm free. “Then where are they?”

Tae had no answer. The male just opened his mouth and almost instantly closed it again.

“Hyung, where are they!?”

“I DON’T KNOW!” The older male shouted back in a stressed tone, his crimson-stained feather earring swaying erratically from the outburst. “I don’t know, okay? But I saw some tracks leading away from here, so I’m going to keep going. You should stay here an-”

“I’m not fucking staying here.” Jungkook’s jaw ticked and he returned his short sword to its sheath with a grimace. “Let’s go.”

You tightly gripped the buckle on Jimin’s armor as you both limped forward over the stones and vegetation scattered on the creek bank. You were supporting each other as you took slow, heavy steps, and Jimin was clutching the strap of your quiver just as desperately as you were holding on to him. Neither of you were willing to let go of the other. It was almost like you both needed the physical reassurance that the other person was truly there and breathing.

That you both were.

Water splashed around your ankles and onto your legs as you both stumbled into the creek. The water was so cold it made you sharply inhale through your teeth and pause your explanation of why you’d left the field and how you’d arrived at the rift. Before you could return to your story, the stone you had begun to step on tilted dangerously to the side under the water and almost made you twist your ankle.

“Ah! Stupid fucking rock,” you muttered under your breath while defiantly kicking at the stone with your heel, causing water to spray into the air.

Jimin tugged on your quiver strap to get you moving again while asking if you were okay.

“Yeah yeah, I’m fine. I’m just…” You let out a lethargic sigh and looked up at the sky. “I’m really over today.”

Water sloshed over the sand, pebbles, and weeds on the bank as you both reached the other side of the creek and exited the stream. Resisting the urge to just drop your ass down on the sun-warmed rocks and never move again, you squeezed Jimin’s buckle and begrudgingly heaved yourself up and over a large tree root. As you looked down to see where you were stepping, you saw the wooden tendril was speckled with droplets of red. It was just a mere piece of the dotted trail you were forced to follow as you left the rift’s location, and although it was your umpteenth time catching sight of it, it still made your chest tighten painfully. You tore your gaze away from the blood, not wanting to think about who’s it was. Or how he was no longer with you.

You sniffed, cleared your throat, and raised your eyes in front of you. Through the sunlight filtering in between the leaves, you recognized a dark lump wedged between two rocks.

Remembering you were supposed to be sharing how you had found Jimin, you pointed your chin at the body of the wolf. “Anyway, I heard the howls an-”

“Jungkook, you need to slow down!”

Your body flinched at the sudden sound breaking the peaceful chirping and buzzing of the forest then stilled with one foot left raised in the air.

“Jungkook?” You whispered in disbelief and placed your foot down gently while Jimin asked, “Was that… Tae?”

Jungkook…? And… Tae…?

Apprehensive hope surged in your heart at the thought of the two Saeni being near, but… why would they be out here? Why weren’t they at the field? Or were you simply so tired that you’d imagined the voice? You slowly blinked then turned your head to look at Jimin in confusion. Your gaze met his brown eyes but he looked just as unsure as you felt.

Neither of you moved. You barely breathed. With your heart beating wildly in your chest, you waited to hear the voice again.

One… two… three seconds passed…

But you heard nothing besides the trickling of water, shifting of leaves, singing of birds and bugs, and light, anxious breathing coming from yourself and the half-Saeni next to you.

It was probably just the wind and my mind making shit up. There’s no way Kookie and TaeTae are actually here.

But…

Jimin heard it too.

Tentatively, you lifted your free hand and wrapped your fingers around the hilt of the dagger at your side as the wind picked up and blew strays wisps of hair in your face.

“For Exia’s sake, you’re going to pass out!”

Your eyes widened at the voice and you involuntarily tightened your grip on the dagger. At the same time, Jimin sharply inhaled and lifted his head in the direction it had come from, making his sweaty apricot hair shift over his forehead.

He nodded once to himself. “That-holy fuck-that’s definitely Tae.”

You had also verified the owner of the voice that time and before you knew it, you were hoarsely screaming the Saeni’s name into the dense trees. Jimin joined in moments later, your scratchy voices mixing and resounding into the air together. After your screams faded into dry coughs, you and Jimin gulped air back into your lungs while you let go of the dagger and adjusted your hold on the half-Saeni’s buckle. Then, you both surged forward. As fast as your wobbly legs could manage, you and your best friend limp-ran past the remainder of the blood trail, the dead wolf, and a couple of scattered, stray arrows to where the earth began to incline.

As you stepped over a large rock on the ground and started to climb out of the gully, the familiar deep voice shouted back in surprise, “Chim!? Little scorja!?”

Tae’s voice made you close your eyes for a second; you were just so happy to hear him, to know that he was alive. A tiny, relieved smile tugged at the corner of your lips and after sucking in a breath, you quickly yelled back that you were coming. Your voice echoed into the expanse of the forest as you grabbed on to thin tree trunk with your free hand. Using the tree to pull yourself up a few more steps, a hiss escaped past your lips in between your ragged inhales due to how much your thighs were burning and shaking. You were honestly shocked they were even still working, but you kept telling yourself you were minutes or possibly even seconds away from seeing Tae and Jungkook. You would be damned if your legs gave out before then. Likewise, Jimin was mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like “I think I can, I think I can” over and over again to keep himself motivated and moving through his own pain.

Less than a minute later, you were nearing the top of the gully. Impatience swelled inside you, and you somehow forced your aching body to move just a little faster and pulled Jimin with you. Though in your haste, you slipped on a clump of loose dirt and fell forward to your knee with a sharp curse.

“Come on. Come on.” Jimin reached over to grip your arm and heaved you back up with a subdued groan in his throat.

The two of you staggered the rest of the way up until the ground finally leveled out. Breathing heavily, you both paused and sagged against each other in exhaustion. But only a couple heartbeats later, you were tugging on each other to move again. Leaves and twigs crunched under your feet, thin branches whacked against your legs and hips, and the low shrubbery violently shook in your wake as you hurried through the trees.

While you shivered in the cool shade cast by the leaves and branches high above your head, you darted your eyes around to desperately search for signs of the Saeni. Your gaze flickered over the endless tree trunks, moss-covered boulders, thorny vines…

And then you saw it through the blur of leaves. The smallest splash of pinkish burgundy among the greens and browns of the forest.

Jungkook.

You whispered his name gently, feeling your eyes begin to sting as you fully made out his figure. In your peripherals, you saw Jimin look at you then follow your line of sight.

He let out a soft, breathy laugh and released his hold on your quiver strap. “Go on. I’ll catch up.”

Tearing your gaze away from the Saeni in the distance, you glanced at your best friend to see him smiling at you. The half-Saeni kept his warm brown eyes on you but tilted his head toward his younger brother, silently telling you to go on ahead. You pressed your lips together and peeked back at the burgundy-haired Saeni before returning your attention to Jimin. You stared at him for a split-second then nodded, your stiff hand falling away from his buckle.

After lightly squeezing Jimin’s arm, you turned back to Jungkook and took a step forward.

Then another.

And another.

And another and another and another until you were nearly running. You barely registered the throbbing pain in your legs. All you cared about was reaching him.

“JEON JUNGKOOK!” You screamed with a big, dumb smile on your face.

Immediately, his burgundy head was facing your direction and it almost looked like a shudder ran through his body. Not even a second later, though, he was sprinting toward you.

Somewhere to the right, you heard Tae’s deep voice call out. “Little scorja? Where is…? Chim? Chim! Oh, thank goddess.”

You didn’t even look to the side to see where your blue-eyed friend was. You were entirely too focused on who was in front of you. Who was almost to you.

Closer. Closer. Closer.

So close that when he ran through a ray of sunlight, you could see the gold flecks in his eyes flash brightly. You also noticed the dried blood coating his skin and armor but it didn’t faze you. You too were stained with crimson. It was just a nasty aftereffect of fighting for your life and taking others.

Lengthening your stride to avoid tripping over a bundle of roots in your path, you felt the stinging in your eyes turn into a waterier sensation as your tears threatened to spill over.

Closer. Closer. You got closer closer closer…

And then you collided with each other, the thudding impact nearly forcing you to lose your breath. The male stumbled back from your momentum and you both teetered on the uneven ground before he firmly planted his feet and wrapped his strong arms around you.

As you closed your eyes and leaned into him, a small voice in your head said it was strange how Jungkook had stumbled back. You’d launched yourself at him countless of times yet he’d never done that before. It was unusual, but you mentally told the small voice to fuck off. He’d just fought in a damn battle, for Exia’s sake. He was probably exhausted just like you were.

“Y/N, f-fuck. Fuck. I was so worried,” he murmured in your ear while holding you as close as possible. Like he though you would slip through his hands and disappear if he didn’t. “Y-You weren’t on the cliff anymore… you… you weren’t there. I thought you-goddess-I thought you died.”

The end of his sentence came out choked and he shakily breathed in. Your heart panged at the grief filling his voice, and a single tear slipped down your cheek and cut through the dirt and dust on your face. Once the lone tear met the crease of your lips and you tasted its salt, several more tears followed suit. As they trailed down your skin, his fingers moved up your spine until they found the back of your neck and lightly grazed over your mark.

“I’m sorry-I didn’t mean-Jimin needed help.”

Chuckling lowly at your stammering, Jungkook slightly pulled back to cup your face in his hands. While holding your gaze, he traced his thumb over your cheek to wipe away your tears before they could drip off your chin. Your lips parted slowly and you looked into those bright peridot eyes, finally feeling safe for the first time since the sun had peeked over the horizon. Finally feeling like you could let your guard down. Finally feeling like you could breathe easily. With a content sigh, you unwound your hands from Jungkook’s neck and went to gently hold his wrists.

But right as you touched his forearms, his legs suddenly buckled and he collapsed to a knee. With your face still caught in his hands, you involuntarily followed him by bending at the waist and your eyes widened in confusion. Lowering his head, Jungkook released a pained moan while you heard Tae and Jimin call out in concern. Worried, you opened your mouth to ask what was wrong, but it was then that you finally registered how pale his skin was. How colorless it looked compared to the deep red spattered across it.

Wha-?

Jungkook raised his peridot eyes to yours and gave you a strained smile while his grip on your face weakened. “I’m fine, sweetheart. Just a… a little tired, but I’m the best, remem-…rememb-” His words were cut off as his eyes rolled back into his head and he limply crumpled to the ground with a solid, dull thump.

A series of curses rose into the air from the other males while you frantically said Jungkook’s name and dropped to your knees. He was on his side, limbs loosely splayed out. Your breathing got faster as you placed one of your hands on his shoulder and the other near his hip. Tenderly but firmly, you shook Jungkook to get him to open his eyes. To move. To say something. To do anything. But nothing happened. He was utterly silent and still except for the smallest rise and fall of his chest. You swore, shifted your gaze to his face, and was wondering what the fuck you should do when realized one of your hands felt strangely warm… and wet. Body going rigid, you slowly drew your eyes down to your hand resting on Jungkook’s hip… and then you lifted it. Your palm and fingers were smeared with red. Blood. Fresh blood. And it was coming from Jungkook. Flinching at the sight, you felt your stomach drop and body go cold as full-fledged panic instantly rushed through your veins. Yet you couldn’t do anything but stare at the blood for a few seconds, completely frozen and scared. You watched as the crimson liquid gradually ran down your wrist in small, thin rivulets, and your hands began to tremble. Everything else in the world faded to some distant, fuzzy background. You couldn’t see anything but red. Couldn’t hear anything but your own pounding heartbeat. Couldn’t smell anything but the now familiar reek of iron. No trace of peridot or burgundy or florals mixed with hard steel. It almost felt like you weren’t even in your own body anymore. You were just in a suspended state of bloody shock and disbelief. It lasted for one… two… three… four seconds and then you were slammed back into reality. After gasping and pushing the unconscious male onto his back, you leaned over him to grab his ghastly face in your hands, causing his cheek to be painted with even more red.

“Jungkook? Jungkook!? Hey hey hey, come on. Come on, wake up.” Distress and fear laced your words. “You gotta wake up Kookie.”

“Shit, I told him not to push himself so hard!” You heard Tae’s frustrated voice carry over with the wind and it sounded closer than before.

Pressing your lips together to hold in a sob, your throat grew tight and your vision went blurry as tears started to drip onto Jungkook’s face. The droplets rolled off his cheeks and you shook your head while a whimper came from your lips.

Letting go of his face, you fisted your hands on top of his chest. “You need to hear what I wanted to say earlier. You said I could tell you later, right?”

But he still didn’t move. He didn’t even stir.

You couldn’t hold back anymore. After a single shuddering inhale, cries began to wrack your body and you collapsed forward until your forehead weakly laid against Jungkook’s armored chest.

Not even a second later, you heard Tae skid to a stop beside you and then felt him tugging at your arm. “Stab wound on his back. On his back. On his back.”

His words seeped into your brain and it threw your already overwhelmed mind into a daze. Your eyes grew unfocused and you blinked as you let the Saeni pull you away. Then you started replaying those words over and over again like a broken reel. Stab wound. Stab wound. Stab wound. On his back. Stab wound on his back.

“Fucking Exia! Why didn’t you stop when I told you to!?” The blue-eyed male shouted at Jungkook before rolling his unconscious brother back to his side and applying pressure to the wound.

You squeezed your eyes shut for a moment, forcing more tears to quickly stream down your cheeks, then crawled a few feet so you could gently lift Jungkook’s head into your lap.

After brushing his hair out of his face and tucking it behind his long ear, you quietly said, “You… You said I could tell you later.” You traced the edge of his ear to the tip as your voice cracked. “Well, it’s later so you gotta wake up, okay? You need to wake up so I can tell you.”

No response.

Your muscles tensed and your bottom lip quivered, but your body suddenly felt hot and your cheeks burned. “Don’t be a coconut-headed asshat and go back on your word! Wake up so I can tell you, dammit!”

Tell you that I love you. That I’m in love with you.

Please.

The snap of a breaking twig made you shoot your head up and you saw Jimin hurrying over with a handful of big leaves. He dropped to the ground between you and Tae and wordlessly shoved the leaves at the blue-eyed Saeni. After grabbing them with one hand, Tae hastily shoved them under his other palm that was pressing against Jungkook’s wound.

He was using them to help control the bleeding.

The apricot head then turned to you and abruptly requested that you give him Jungkook’s dagger. Too caught up in your mind-numbing hysteria and not understanding why he needed a blade right then, you slowly looked from your best friend to the ruby gemstone glittering at your hip in bewilderment.

“Dagger. Dagger now, Y/N!”

His sharp tone cut through the fog in your brain and you sniffled while shifting your hand over the dagger. Your fingers briefly hesitated; knowing how important the weapon was to Jungkook, you didn’t like the idea of someone using it without his permission. Even if it was his brother. But Jimin was also aware of the dagger’s history and you knew he wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t absolutely necessary, so you curled your fingers around the hilt and pulled the blade from its scabbard. Flipping it in your hand, you held it out to Jimin, who snatched it from your grasp and leaned over his legs. As blood continued to leak out around the leaves and Tae’s fingers, the half-Saeni yanked the hem of his pants out of one of his boots and maneuvered the blade underneath. Then, a ripping sound came from the fabric. A few more seconds and rips later, Jimin was holding a decently-sized chunk of the durable fabric and was giving the blade back to you. Quietly, you took it from him while steadying Jungkook’s head in your lap with your other hand. As you tightly squeezed the hilt, Jimin nudged Tae and told him to move aside. Somehow, they managed to smoothly transfer jobs and Jimin was now using the patch of fabric to try to staunch the bleeding as Tae stood up unsteadily. The male’s now blood-covered hands hung at his sides while his blood-soaked feather earring swayed in the breeze.

His blue eyes solemnly gazed down at Jungkook’s face before they suddenly sharpened with resolve. “I’m going back for help. Don’t let him die.” Then, after taking a deep breath and a final look at his brother, he pivoted on his heel and ran into the trees.

His soft footsteps swiftly melted into the symphony of the forest, and you prayed that he would come back quickly. Returning your attention to Jungkook, you gripped the dagger in your hand until your knuckles strained against your skin while hoping the familiarity of the action would bring you some sort of comfort. It made you think of glittering peridot eyes and cocky smirks. Nervous stammering and provoking comments. You tried to hold onto those memories as firmly as you could. Both the good and the bad ones. Memories filled with tender touches and shy words. Memories made of angry glares and heated emotions. Memories of him. Memories with him. But as you listened to Jimin try to coax Jungkook back to consciousness, you looked down at the unresponsive male and could only think of how you were on the verge of losing him.

Losing the person you loved.

While your breath stuttered as you tried to inhale deeply, you brushed your thumb up and down Jungkook’s strong jaw and silently pleaded with him to open his eyes.

Wake up… wake up… please please please, wake up.

Wake up.

Please wake up.

Your eyes shot open and your body flinched as you recoiled from the painful dream. But the attempt to get away was stopped short as you realized you were laying down and had nowhere to go. Then it hit you that it was completely dark. Head spinning and breathing rate rapidly increasing, you squinted into the blackness. It took you a few seconds for your eyes to come into focus, and you let out a relieved exhale when you registered the familiar room. Slowly unfurling your curled-up body, you pushed yourself into a sitting position on the bed and gazed out the window. The faint glow of the moon and distant tree lanterns came in through the open spaces where the branches were woven together, and a gentle yet warm breeze was floating into the room. But despite the warm air, you still had to hug yourself as you shivered from the dream.

No, not a dream. You reminded yourself and squeezed your arms around yourself more tightly. It actually happened.

It had been nearly two weeks since that day, or Draikiltho – The Dark Morning – as it was now being called. Two weeks since Amarok and the rift. Two weeks since Mingi sacrificed himself. Two weeks since you last saw Jungkook.

The dream was your memory of that day, and as much as you didn’t want to remember it… your brain began to recall what had happened next.

“You’re not allowed to die until I’ve made you watch all of ‘Ablatar,’ Spongebob, and Game of Thrones, you idiot,” you faintly whispered to the unconscious male while pressing down hard against the wound on his back.

Red stained your palms and wrists, and continued to slowly seep out around your hands and the patch of fabric beneath them. Jungkook was still breathing… but it seemed like his inhales were gradually getting weaker and further apart. Biting your lip, you looked over to Jimin, who now had his brother’s head in his lap and was running his hand through the male’s burgundy locks.

“It’s going to be fine, Kook. Tae will be back soon and he’s bringing help.” Brown eyes lifted to meet yours and he tried to smile reassuringly. “He’ll be back soon. It’s gonna be fine. Totally fine.”

A broken laugh that sounded more like a weak sob came from your lips. “Don’t make it sound like that damn meme.”

“It’s… It’s gonna be fine.” His eyes went back down to Jungkook’s face. “It’s gonna be fine.”

You pulled your knees up toward your chest and took long, deep breaths as the memory continued to play in your head.

You weren’t sure how long you had both been sitting there in uneasy silence. You were too focused, too worried, too scared to really have any insight into how much time was passing. It could have been five minutes, thirty minutes, over an hour since Tae had left. You had no idea.

Despite your arms trembling from applying constant pressure and your body shivering from the cool shade, you continued to press down against Jungkook’s back. Your tears had finally stopped some time ago, but you didn’t dare wipe at the dried tracks they had left on your cheeks. You were terrified that if you shifted even the barest amount, if you let up just the slightest amount of pressure on the wound, then Jungkook would be gone.

“Y/N, you’re shaking like crazy. Let me take over,” Jimin offered in a soft voice but you shook your head.

You were about to reply that you didn’t want to risk switching positions again when you heard a faint rhythmic sound rise up through the rustling leaves and creaking trees. It steadily grew louder and you stiffened while Jimin carefully lifted Jungkook’s head so he could stand. Out of the corner of your eye, you watched the half-Saeni limp forward a few steps until he was beside you.

“I hate to ask this, but I think I’m gonna need Kook’s dagger again.”

Slowly taking in a breath to try to ease your mind, you nodded. The sound was so close now that you could make out that they were footfalls. Someone or many someones were coming your way. Jimin muttered a curse and braced a hand on his knee to bend down and reach for the blade at your waist.

Please don’t be more trouble. You closed your eyes. Please be you, Tae.

The apricot head had just closed his fingers around the hilt when your prayer was answered.

The familiar grey-haired, blue-eyed Saeni burst through the dense thicket followed by three other Saeni you didn’t know.

Tae’s eyes widened in utter relief when he saw you. “Thank goddess,” he gasped out before collapsing to his knees and harshly sucking air into his lungs.

While Tae leaned over to support his body on his hands, the other Saeni kept moving forward. Blinking, you noticed one of them was carrying two long, thick branches and there was something that looked like cloth hanging between them.

They were next to you in the next second, and you did your best to keep up with the sudden barrage of movement and sound. The Saeni with the branches and cloth, which you realized was a makeshift stretcher now that it was up close, went to the side and laid the stretcher flat on the ground. The second roughly told Jimin to step aside while the third crouched beside you. The Saeni looked at you expectantly, but when you didn’t do anything, he nudged you with his arm. You didn’t move. You looked down at Jungkook’s pale face and shook your head. You were still too scared to move away. Even though the small part of your mind that was still coherent and not overwhelmed knew that you should, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

I can’t. I can’t just leave him. They’re going to take him away. I know they need to. I know they have to. But I… I…

You felt a light hand on your shoulder interrupt your mental discourse and your best friend quietly said your name. Pressing your lips together while you silently took in Jungkook’s face, you thought of his peridot eyes and crooked smiles. A gentle ache filled your heart. After hanging your head for a moment, you then scooted over an inch or so to let the Saeni know they could take over. In a flash, his hands replaced yours and you held your breath as the other two Saeni situated themselves at Jungkook’s head and feet, counted to three, picked him up, and transferred him onto the stretcher.

You didn’t want to leave him. You didn’t want him to leave you.

The Saeni lifted the stretcher.

I wouldn’t be able to keep up with them. I would just slow them down.

The Saeni that had nudged you looked your way and gave you a sharp nod but your eyes never left Jungkook’s figure.

He needs to get help as soon as possible. That’s what’s important.

The Saeni at the head of the stretcher barked out an order to move out.

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you last night. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry. Please stay alive. I need you.

A final brief glimmer of pinkish burgundy hair through the leaves and shadows…

I love you.

Then they were gone.

Jimin’s hand tightened on your shoulder and you clenched your own blood-coated hands into fists where they rested against your thighs. Breathing heavily, you tried to reign in your swarm of emotions but you felt like your heart was made of cracked glass that was ready to shatter at any moment.

“Oh, you’re going to shatter?” It was too easy for your mind to imagine Jungkook’s teasing voice and arrogant chuckle. “Is it too much for the little human to handle?”

Narrowing your eyes, you deeply inhaled through your nose then slapped a mental Band-Aid over the cracks. No… no, asshat, it’s fucking not.

Reaching up to cover Jimin’s hand on your shoulder, you let your eyes linger on where you had last seen Jungkook for only a few more seconds.

I’ll see you soon.

Then you shifted your gaze to Tae, who was struggling to catch his breath as he braced himself against the earth. Patting Jimin’s hand, you let out a long puff of air and pushed yourself up to your feet with a groan.

Hooking arms with Jimin, you both stumbled over the rocks, roots, and low shrubs until you made it Tae.

The male flicked his blue eyes up as you unsteadily approached. “The fighting is over… but no magic users… could come. Too many… injured… at the field… and many of them… are drained.”

Weakly smiling at the male, you ignored your shaking legs to bend down and offer him your hand. “Thank you for getting help TaeTae.”

Jimin did the same and you both helped the spent Saeni stand.

“He’s… He’s going to okay, right?” Tae asked in a small voice as his chest continued to heave rapidly.

Your teeth tugged on your bottom lip. His words made another fracture appear on your fragile heart and paralyzing worry started to seep into your mind again…

“Come on sweetheart, I thought you were tougher than that.”

Steeling yourself, you slapped yet another mental Band-Aid over the new crack before sniffing and raising your chin to look Tae in the eyes. “Kook’s a big boy, right? If anyone can survive getting stabbed, running around like crazy, and losing a shit-ton of blood, it’s that annoying, stubborn asshat.”

The boys stared at you in shock for a minute, thrown off by your sudden change in attitude, until Tae broke out in his signature boxy grin. The sight made you smile again, this time more brightly, and the corner of Jimin’s mouth pulled up too. The three of you looked at each other, grins slowly growing and growing and growing. And then you were all laughing. It was absurd and crazy and you didn’t even know why or how you were actually laughing, but there you were. The three of you wrapped your arms around each other as your sore bodies shook and your eyes got teary. You laughed until your stomach muscles hurt even more than they already did and kept laughing until your giggles transformed into hiccups and cries. You buried your head into Jimin’s chest and he muffled his sobs against your hair while Tae clung on to your arm and wept on his brother’s shoulder. Eventually, you all quieted down but you stayed in each other’s arms.

As you were sniveling and clearing your throats, Tae suddenly looked around the area then furrowed his brows and tilted his head. “I didn’t have time to ask earlier but where’s… where’s Mingi?”

You clutched at the bedsheets and pressed your lips together, telling yourself not to cry. After slowly counting to ten in your head, you looked over at the small table in the corner of the room. Even without sunlight, the ruby gemstone of Jungkook’s dagger seemed to shine brightly in your eyes from where it rested on the table. Your hand twitched, aching to hold the weapon, but you just sighed heavily instead and reached up to touched the silver feather and chain at your neck.

The sun was beginning to lower behind the treetops when the three of you finally made it back to camp a few hours later. It had been a slow, painful journey, and your nerves had only increased with every sluggish step you took. Your legs were cramping, your stomach was churning, and your eyelids wouldn’t stop drooping but you couldn’t let yourself rest. You needed to find Jungkook and the rest of the kiela.

Jungkook first. You told yourself while limping through the trees, Saeni, and campfires with Tae and Jimin. Make sure Jungkook is okay then go find the others.

You weren’t exactly sure where the medical area was set up but it wasn’t hard to pinpoint the direction it was in. The agonized screams and cries echoing through the forest sadly made it easy to know where to go.

You let out a tired exhale and lifted your eyes from the ground to take in the gloomy atmosphere of the camp. All around you, Saeni were in different states. Some were frantic and crying, some were staring blankly into the trees, and others were talking in hushed voices.

I wonder which one I’ll be like in thirty minutes. You thought while carefully stepping around a small scattering of white wildflowers in your path.

The wails and sobs had gotten louder, and you glanced sideways at the boys. They met your gaze and gave you weary nods, but in the process of doing so, Tae stubbed his toe on something hidden beneath the foliage and tripped. He nearly face-planted but Jimin was fast to grab his brother’s arm and steady him. The blue-eyed Saeni grumbled in annoyance before a small pout flashed across his face, which made you release an amused puff of air. As Jimin made sure Tae was alright, a fast, dark blur out of the corner of your eye suddenly caught your attention. Your brows furrowed and although you assumed it was just a bird of some sort, you turned your head to see what it was. That was when the blur raced past you and tackled Jimin and Tae in a hug. Sucking in air through your teeth, you watched as someone enveloped both the boys in their arms and your hand unthinkingly went to the dagger at your waist. You curled your fingers around the hilt without hesitation, ready to pull the blade free from its sheath, when you realized the person had simple silver hoops in his ears, dark, raven-black hair, and broad shoulders.

A smidge of tension left your weak body and your fingers fell away from the dagger as you lightly called out the male’s name in astonishment, “Jin?”

“Get in here little scorja.” The eldest of the kiela peered over Jimin’s apricot head with a smile and reached his hand out toward you.

“You scared the shit out of me,” you murmured and your body relaxed further as your brain fully registered there was no actual threat.

“At least you didn’t get slammed into without warning,” Tae tried to pointedly gripe but his voice came out muffled from being smushed against Jimin and Jin’s bodies.

“Sorry,” the raven-haired male said, but his face didn’t show any remorse. “I just got so excited when I saw you, I couldn’t stop myself.”

Rolling your eyes, you took a tiny step forward then yelped as Jin’s hand wrapped itself around your wrist and forcibly yanked you into the hug.

“You were taking too long,” he whispered as the boys shifted to accommodate you.

Sagging into the warmth of the hug, you clutched at whatever buckle or strap your unsteady fingers could find. The four of you slowly swayed back and forth with the gentle breeze, just holding each other. Blowing out a long breath, you rested your head against Tae’s back and closed your eyes. But instead of a calming darkness, you stiffened when a crimson-covered face with peridot orbs and burgundy hair appeared behind your eyelids.

“Wait. Wait.” You suddenly pushed yourself away from the embrace and your heartrate began to beat fast once again. “Jungkook. Jin, have you seen Jungkook? Do you know if he’s… um, if he’s…?” Your heart jumped into your throat and your voice got small as the unfinished question trailed off into silence.

You were too scared to finish forming the words. Too scared to hear the response you were dreading but also so desperate to know what happened.

As Jin’s dark eyes widened at your pleading tone, Jimin stepped back and searched his brother’s face for an answer while Tae quietly slipped his hand into yours. Grateful for something to hold onto, you gripped his hand like a lifeline as you waited.

Jin’s face then softened and he rested his hand on your shoulder to look straight into your eyes for a moment before moving his gaze over to his brothers as well. “He’s going to be okay.”

Your heart skipped a beat and you faintly gasped.

“What did you say?” Your best friend asked in a demanding yet bewildered tone.

“He’s going to be okay.” Jin gave you all a reassuring nod. “Jungkook’s going to live.”

He’s going to be okay. He’s going to live. I get to see him again. You slumped, the tension in your body disappearing, and you placed your palm over your racing heart. I get to see him again.

At the same time, you felt Tae give your hand a squeeze as he bowed his head and sighed. Jimin let out a shaky laugh and looked up at the sky through the leaves while muttering under his breath.

“I was just with him, actually. He’s sleeping and in a stable condition but he’ll be healing naturally, without magic.”

You listened intently as Jin explained there were simply too many Saeni with more serious and pressing injuries. The magic users couldn’t spare to use their energy to heal Jungkook completely, so they had only used a small amount to get him stabilized and sleeping. Then they had bandaged him up and were now letting him rest. The medical personnel were going to watch over him and change his bandages as his body healed itself but he probably wouldn’t be up and moving for at least a few days.

Feeling your heartbeat finally slowing down to a more normal pace, you moved your hand so your fingertips could lightly graze the ruby on the hilt of Jungkook’s dagger. “Can I see him? Please?”

Jin’s shoulders dropped and he shook his head. “I wish you could. I really, really do, but they’re only allowing in one member from a patient’s kiela at a time unless the wound is fatal.” He made an aggravated noise while removing his hand from your shoulder. “And although we view you as family, you’re not officially recognized as part of our kiela.”

“Oh…”

You looked down at your feet. I can’t see him?

“Why did they even make that rule?” The blue-eyed Saeni next to you complained, which drew your eyes back up. “It’s stupid.”

Jimin sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Even Illai agrees with that.”

“Huh?” Jin leaned forward to peer at his brother’s face in curiosity. “You can still hear the mother goddess?”

“Ah, yeah. She told me that she isn’t able to…”

You tuned out their conversation, too caught up in the thought that you couldn’t see him. You couldn’t see him. You couldn’t see him. Fuck, you couldn’t see him. You trusted Jin, of course, but you still wanted, no needed to see him.

What if he gets an infection? What if he never wakes up? What if-

Two firm pumped to your hand pulled you from your thoughts and you looked over to see blue eyes worriedly gazing at you.

“…you’d think them sharing a bond would be enough reason to bend the rules,” Jimin said with an irritated expression.

“You’d think.” The raven-haired male released a dry, condescending laugh before glancing your way and clearing his throat. “Maybe we can explain the situation once things are calmer.”

With a level voice, he then promised you that Jungkook was fine and no longer in danger. In response, your head jerked down in a small nod but you didn’t say anything else.

“Alright, well for now let’s get some rest. You all look like you really fucking need it.” The eldest Saeni gestured for you all to follow him as he swiveled on his heel. “Joon’s in a meeting with General Son but Hobi and Yoongi should still be at the fire we claimed a couple hours ago.”

“They’re all okay?” Tae asked almost timidly while stepping over a fallen log with stiff movements.

“Yoongi is passed out from using so much energy but he’ll be fine after a lot of sleep. Hobi almost died but Yoongi was able to save him, hence why he’s so exhausted. Joon is okay too, besides taking a knife to his thigh.”

They’re safe. Maybe not in perfect condition, but the whole kiela is safe.

Jin looked back over his shoulder. “By the way, what happened to Mingi? Did he go meet someone when you got back to camp or…?”

You, Tae, and Jimin all paused and uneasily looked at each other until you softly said that Mingi didn’t make it. You tried to ignore the heaviness in your heart by turning to look at the setting sun through the trees. The burning orange peeking through the leaves was beautiful but it didn’t do anything to ease the dull pang in your chest, so you returned your gaze to the forest before you. Meanwhile, Jin hadn’t said anything in response but you could see that his body went rigid and his hand was closed into a tight fist.

About ten more minutes passed of quietly weaving through the forest and the scattered fires. The sounds from the medical area could still be heard but they were starting to fade into the symphonic sounds of the birds, bugs, and leaves. The Saeni were the same, though. A haunting mix of mourning wails, empty gazes, and low whispers. You involuntarily flinched when a particularly violent sob screamed into your ears, yet you forced yourself to keep your eyes on Jin’s back. You didn’t want to see the face of the male who made the tormented noise.

I just spent the day experiencing so much death but somehow, it’s the aftermath that unsettles me the most.

You rubbed your temples then dragged your fingers down your face.

I guess sometimes death is more painful for the ones left alive.

The memory of hazel eyes flashed in your mind but you hastily blinked it away while ducking below a branch.

The sky was getting darker and darker; only a thin stretch of orange sunlight was still visible on the horizon. Within a few minutes, the forest quickly became a blend of cool darkness and pockets of warm, flickering light.

Although he was only a few steps ahead of you, Jin peeked back to make sure you were all still with him before he turned left behind a thick tree. You, Jimin, and Tae followed and you had to contain a moan as you suddenly felt the soothing heat of a fire.

“This is us,” Jin said with a gesture to the small area illuminated by the flames.

The fire snapped and crackled as Jin crouched down and poked the embers with a stick, and through the flames you could see the silhouettes of two people against the base of a tree. A bloody and bruised Hobi had his back to the tree trunk with his legs stretched out in front of him. In one hand, he absentmindedly twirled a small blade in his fingers while his other hand rested on the torso of the male curled up on his thighs. Yoongi was facing away from you but you guessed the magic user was deep asleep from the slow rise and fall of his shoulder.

At your arrival, Hobi’s eyes lifted from where they had been looking down at the other male and his face lit up. A dimpled smile appeared and he cheerfully waved with his blade.

His body isn’t shiny like it usually is. You noted with a tilt of your head as you and the boys staggered around the fire.

As you moved closer and squinted through the flickering light you realized it was because most of the sheathes strapped across his body were empty. You also saw there was a large gash in his armor at his side and while the area was stained red, the skin itself was unmarred. The sight made you recall Jin’s words of how Hobi had almost died and the thought made you frown.

The male must have misunderstood your expression through because he looked down at Yoongi then back up apologetically. “Sorry, I can’t get up for a hug.”

“You’ll owe me one later, hyung!” Tae warned with a grin as he ungracefully sat down.

Meanwhile, you raised your hands. “No, no don’t worry about it, I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Hobi’s light brown eyes softened. “You too, little scorja. You too.” The Saeni then transferred his gaze to the apricot head beside you. “You did good Chim. I’m proud of you.”

The kiela’s spy proceeded to shut his eyes and angle his head back to rest it against the tree trunk. He resumed flipping his blade and his thumb began to gently move up and down Yoongi’s abdomen. You didn’t miss the gesture but all you did was send the two Saeni an earnest smile.

Shuffling closer to the fire’s warmth, you then plopped down to the earth with a tight wince. Your feet cried with relief and the feeling of utter fatigue settled over your body. You tiredly began massaging your spasming leg muscles as Jimin awkwardly made his way to the ground beside you. After glancing at your best friend and releasing a drawn-out exhale, you realized you didn’t know what to do now. Your mind had been on high alert for so long it was like it couldn’t not be wary of every miniscule sight and sound. You just couldn’t let yourself fully relax. The battle was over, you knew that… but you were still scared a sudden attack would erupt out of the vast darkness of the forest.

Am I-are we really safe? You squeezed your thighs.

In the end, you just sat there and stared at the luminous embers of the fire as they ate away at the wood. Your eyes bore into the mesmerizing red-orange glow until your eyes stung and watered. Then, a sniffling sound moved your attention to your best friend and you saw him harshly wiping at his cheek with his palms.

Blinking quickly to counter the dry, stinging pain in your eyes, you quietly asked if he was crying.

“Oh, it’s, uh, ‘cuz of the smoke.” The apricot head let out an exaggerated cough and waved his hand in front of his face.

You lightly bumped his shoulder with yours. “It’s okay, you know. To cry.”

“…I know.”

After a couple of minutes, Jimin lowered his hands and placed them on the ground behind him. Wordlessly, he caught your gaze then nodded at his legs. You pursed your lips, subtly shook your head, and adjusted your body so your forearm could rest against your knee. Jimin merely shrugged at your choice and was about to change positions when Tae made a whining noise, drowsily crawled over, and subsequently trapped the half-Saeni’s legs underneath his silver-grey head. The corner of your mouth went up as you watched Jimin squint down at the male for a few moments before letting out a stuffy snort and beginning to pat Tae’s head.

“Hey…” Hobi lightly said and you turned your head toward the spy to see his brow was furrowed. “Where’s Mingi?”

Body stiffening, you braced yourself to answer the painful question yet again but Jin gently called Hobi’s name from across the fire then sadly shook his head.

Hobi’s light brown eyes widened and he halted his movements with the knife. “Oh.”

The male sharply cursed in a whisper as you somberly looked back into the burning embers.

“Uh, Chim,” Jin hurriedly spoke up, “tell us how you closed the rift.”

Pulling your legs up toward your chest, you rested your forehead against your knees. Everyone had begun sharing their experiences from the hellish day one by one. It wasn’t pleasant hearing about what they had each gone through, and it only got worse when Jungkook was brought up. A shudder ran through your body as you remembered listening to Jin describe how he and Joon had ran into an injured and panicking Jungkook on the field. The eldest Saeni in the kiela had said he’d never seen the youngest so distraught and out of it before.

You breathed out through your nose and shut your eyes. You sometimes wondered what would have happened if you hadn’t left your position on the cliff to search for Jimin. Would Jungkook have come out of the battle unscathed? Would your best friend have been able to defeat Amarok and close the rift? Would Mingi still be alive?

You lightly banged your head on your knee twice then the vivid memory continued playing.

A branch collapsed in the fire, sending a handful of sparks into the air, as Hobi depicted the matchup between him and Yoongi versus a draikensu magic user.

“We went up against the one with purple magic,” the male shifted uncomfortably before resuming his gentle caresses on top of Yoongi’s mint-blue head.

Oh, that one. You remembered the magic user who had seemed to stare directly at you while you were on the cliff.

Hobi’s jaw clenched in the firelight as he described her magic, and you were stunned by how wicked her abilities sounded. You had reasoned she was strong from what you had seen on the cliff, but it was insane hearing how Hobi and Yoongi had struggled against her. Your brows even lifted in surprise when Hobi detailed how he had gone to deliver the final blow but was instead struck by the draikensu’s magic. A grimace appeared on the male’s face and his hand went to his side like he could feel a ghost of the pain he’d endured.

“I remember looking at hyung for a split second before I colla-”

“Fucking Exia, I thought that meeting would never fucking end.”

Immediately, all your heads swiveled over to the new yet familiar voice, and you saw Joon frozen-mid step. The leader of the kiela was staring at you, Jimin, and Tae, and he slowly brought his hand up to cover his open mouth.

“You’re okay… you’re actually oka-wait…” His yellow eyes flitted around the fire. “Where’s-”

“Medical area but he’s going to be alright,” Jin interrupted the leader with an easy smile.

At the news, Joon trailed his gaze over the group and blinked as if he was in a daze. “We all… made it?”

“Not everyone,” Tae whispered so faintly it could barely be heard over the crackling flames.

Joon’s yellow eyes narrowed then went big in realization.

You hugged yourself more securely for a minute, seeking brief comfort for the ache in your chest. Any relief you found would be temporary, though. You knew this and accepted it. There was nothing you could do to stop the memory of hazel eyes from weighing heavily on your heart, so you just let the emotions course through you.

When the dull pain finally faded, you lifted your head from your knees and opened your eyes. The morning sun was beginning to peek through the thin branches of the window and illuminate the bedroom. The pale light reminded you of Joon’s bright eyes.

You listened as the leader of the kiela explained how the surviving draikensu had been detained and were being closely watched at a separate camp nearby. They would be interviewed over the upcoming days then the king would decide what would be done with them. Originally, you would have hoped for them all to burn in hell, but the situation turned out to be more complicated than that. While some draikensu still believed in Uzjuk’s mission of chaos and death even after the god’s disappearance, there seemed to be others who had been acting against their will. Those draikensu had unknowingly fallen under Uzjuk’s influence and had become mere puppets for the god to use as he pleased.

You had no idea how the king would come to a decision for such a fucked-up situation, but you were just glad you didn’t have to worry about such things.

Cheers to not being politically important. You mentally raised an imaginary shot glass and saluted yourself.

“I also received a message from King Bang.” Joon momentarily rubbed his forehead and sighed before continuing. “He sent an order for our kiela to return to the palace.”

Jin blew out an annoyed raspberry and poked at the fire with his stick again. “Well, we can all head out in a few days once Kook is up and moving again.”

“We were told to return without delay except for Yoongi hyung who will stay to help the wounded.” The yellow-eyed Saeni lifted his tired gaze to watch the smoke whirl around in the air. “Jungkook will have to stay as well since he physically cannot go at the moment.”

You scoffed, but in the next second your jaw dropped in surprise when none of the Saeni let out similar reactions. Not even Jimin said anything against it. Your best friend just opened his mouth, hesitated, then finally conceded by hanging his head.

“You’re kidding, right?” You asked in disbelief which caused Joon to wear an apologetic expression, and you let out a cynical laugh in response. “Sweet Neptune, they can wait a few days… we just fought, for fuck’s sake!”

And Jungkook is here… I don’t want to leave him.

Hobi sleepily flipped his blade in the air then caught it. “Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that little scorja.”

“The king calls, you go,” Tae mumbled but his tone revealed that he obviously didn’t like the idea very much.

“Well, he’s not my damn king.”

You crossed your arms defiantly, but a small movement made you glance to the side and you saw your best friend’s shoulders weakly shaking with quiet laughter.

“How did I know you would say something like that?” he whispered to himself.

You glared at the half-Saeni before huffing and tilting your head toward the unconscious magic user on Hobi’s lap. “I can just stay here with Yoongi.”

“Ah.” Joon awkwardly coughed. “The king requested your presence as well.”

‘Requested’ my ass. You rolled your eyes while stretching out your legs and arms. More like demanded my presence for just one damn meeting.

“Stupid,” you mumbled before letting your body relax and flopping back down onto the bed.

That one, singular meeting had been exhausting. You had to explain what you’d seen, heard, and done down to the smallest detail. You were asked to repeat yourself numerous times and describe scenes you didn’t wish to recall. Then, you had to answer question after question, mostly about Amarok, Uzjuk, and the rift. It seemed like the process went on for hours. Once you’d expelled everything in your brain, you had been dismissed and were no longer “requested” to attend any meetings. The boys weren’t as lucky, though. They were being called into meetings every day since returning to the palace, which quite honestly sucked. For both them and you. You’d grown so used to being surrounded by the kiela night and day, and it was fairly jarring to suddenly be alone. It felt wrong not having them around. Simply put, you didn’t like it. On Earth, you might’ve delt with this by hunkering down on the couch and binge-watching Netflix to fill the hole, but that wasn’t exactly an option in this world. The lack of internet meant all you could do was just keep yourself as busy as possible.

The first thing you did was take up practicing with the BTS trainees every morning. Training was familiar. It was routine. Over the past couple of months, your days always began with training and you didn’t want to change that. It was also nice to see Soobin, Yeonjun, Beomgyu, and Heuning Kai again. They had all grown taller and stronger since you last saw them… but you managed to kick each of their asses every time you sparred. They never complained or sulked at the result, they were just eager and excited to train with “the disciple of the Jeon Jungkook.” The name made you snort but spending your mornings with the younger boys helped ease the loneliness you were feeling.

After exerting yourself at training, you would usually have lunch with Jiae if she was free. When she had nothing scheduled, she would wait at the edge of the training grounds with Chungha silently watching over her. Once you were finished, the lilac-haired Saeni would march over, hook her arm through yours despite your sweaty body, and drag you to the kitchen regardless of your desire to shower before eating. After arriving at the kitchen, one of the palace chefs would kindly instruct you both to sit down then inspect your appearances for a moment before grunting and starting to cook. A short wait later, edible heaven would be placed before you on a plate. Yours would always have more carbohydrates and protein than the princess’, and your sore, tired body would eagerly welcome it. As you and Jiae ate, you would talk about the boys and how annoying it was to not see them much. You also spoke of the differences between your worlds, and what you and Jimin were doing before coming to Illain. There was another topic you had been wanting to bring up. Something you wanted to apologize for. But every time you went to finally say it, you would hesitate, glance at Chungha sitting to the side, and snap your mouth closed. The guard hadn’t changed the way she interacted with you, but… how could you bring up Mingi in front of her?

You couldn’t find the courage to breach that topic just yet.

You’d also started to explore the palace grounds by yourself. There was so much you had missed out on when you first came to the palace, and you figured now was the best time to see it all. Unfortunately, you weren’t allowed to venture into the nearby village or its market due to “security reasons,” but there was still a lot within the expansive palace grounds to discover. You would blindly walk down the countless paths, hoping one of them would lead you to something captivating. So far, you’d found several courtyards with glittering streams and tiny waterfalls weaving through them, as well as a few gardens with flowers bursting with fragrance and excited little bugs buzzing around in the air. On the third day, deep in the trees, you found a collection of stalls holding some sort of unknown creature. You had been and still were curious as to what was kept inside, but the shrill hissing and reverberating growling coming from within the stalls ultimately made you keep your distance. It sounded like something that shouldn’t be fucked with, meaning you weren’t about to go poking your head in like some ditsy horror movie character. As you had warily backed away from the stalls, you saw devices similar to saddles on the walls, so you thought they might be some sort of overly aggressive horse. Whether they were only horses or not, you weren’t about to find out yourself and you reasoned you could just ask one of the kiela members if your curiosity continued.

Your favorite discovery, though, was a tiny clearing you stumbled upon while walking off the main path earlier in the week. You had been following a bubbling stream through the forest and found it ran into a small, secluded pond before spilling over in a narrow cascade and disappearing into the trees. There was a single weeping willow tree at the edge of the clear pool of water and coiled around its trunk was a vine covered in vibrant orange flowers. The area was peaceful and quiet and made you feel at ease. Somehow, you didn’t really mind being alone while you were there. It was a comfortable solitude, and you often napped curled up beneath the thin swaying branches of the weeping willow.

That was how you had been spending your days: training, eating, exploring, and relaxing. Whenever one of the boys was free from the meetings, they would join you while they could. Hobi was getting leaf messages from Yoongi about every other day, and they would usually include a small update on Jungkook’s condition. The kiela’s spy was always sure to stop by and share the news with you when he had time to spare. The two of you would talk for a while about the absent Saeni, and it commonly ended with either one or both of you showing burning cheeks and embarrassed smiles. In the mornings, Jin and Tae would sometimes join you for training. At first, it had only been your dear blue-eyed friend, but once word came that the head instructor did not survive Draikiltho, Jin began showing up too. The eldest kiela member turned out to be a great mentor, and you wondered why he never helped train you. It would’ve been a nice change of pace to be smacked with a joke rather than a glare in the wee hours of the morning on some days. With Joon, you would have pleasant conversations about what things you found around the palace grounds and he would give you suggestions of places to check out. He even promised to take you to his favorite vendor and weapon seller in the market when clearance to leave the grounds was finally given. You barely saw Jimin, but the brief moments you spent with him were remarkably normal. You would have your passionate rants about some random topic and your best friend would listen and chuckle before saying something to get you worked up even more.

The one thing you hadn’t done was tell anyone about the place you’d found with the pond and willow tree. Not even Jimin or Tae knew about it. You weren’t entirely sure why, but you kind of wanted to keep that small, calming place to yourself.

Maybe I’ll go there again today. I just have training and-SHIT! Your eyes bugged out when you noticed how much sunlight was now peeking in through the branches and you threw the covers off your body. I’m gonna be late!

An amused grin broke out on your face as you chewed on an apple slice and watched Jiae mist an orange peel in your best friend’s face. Jimin reeled back, sputtering in surprise, before trying to grab the princess. Jiae nimbly danced away from Jimin’s hands while giggling, making the half-Saeni playfully narrow his eyes.

The lilac-haired Saeni just waggled her fingers, causing Jimin to turn back to you with a sigh of defeat. “Anyways, as I was saying before I was attacked, we decided to wait until after the ceremony to make sure things are settled down.”

“It’s so weird that she’s just chilling in your head,” you quipped and went to cut off another slice from the fruit in your hand but the knife froze as you realized you had yet to greet the goddess. “Shit, um, good morning Illai!”

Jimin rubbed his temples as he listened to the voice nobody else could hear then swept his hand through his hair and grumbled out, “She says good morning to you too and she hopes you trained well today.”

“Geez, it’s even weirder that she’s watching us like a damn movie,” you whispered to yourself before flashing a quick thumbs up. “Thank you Illai, hope you have a swell day doing whatever it is you’re doing!”

Well, watching whatever it is Slim Jim is doing.

Then a thought dawned on you and your eyes flashed mischievously while you leaned closer to Jimin. “Wait, so does she watch when you and Jiae are fuc-”

“Y/NNN!” Jimin lunged forward and covered your mouth before mumbling, “It’s already uncomfortable, please don’t make it worse. And Illai please stop talking.”

You snickered and looked to the side to meet Jiae’s gaze out of curiosity, but the lilac-haired princess just shrugged.

Okay, damn girl. Maybe she’s into voyeurism.

Raising your apple and knife into the air in surrender, you waited for Jimin to move his hand, but he just blatantly ignored you while exclaiming that the atmosphere had suddenly become so quiet and peaceful. After pursing your lips for a moment, you licked the boy’s palm which caused him to pull away with a disgusted gasp. Rolling your eyes at his dramatics, you then asked when said ceremony would be.

Two nights ago, you’d spoken to Joon for a bit and he mentioned the king was planning a ceremony to honor those who’d fought and lost their lives at Draikiltho. At the time, there was no set date for the event, but you figured that must have changed.

Jimin didn’t respond to your question right away. Instead, he shared a knowing look with Jiae before beginning to smirk at you. One of your brows lifted as you scrutinized the suspicious action.

“It’ll be in a week… the same day the med facility from the field will arrive at the palace.”

Excitement pulsed through your veins and your heart pounded in anticipation as you made your way through the palace hallways with light steps and fidgeting fingers. It was quite early in the morning, but there was an unusual amount of Saeni bustling about.

You skirted to the side to avoid being run over by a very stressed-looking male and breathily laughed to yourself. It may be a magical world, but I guess they can’t escape hectic last-minute preparations either.

After a week that had lagged on and on, it was finally the day you’d been eagerly waiting for. The day you and the boys would be reunited with Jungkook and Yoongi. Although you had no clue as to when they would be arriving, a frenzy of emotions had relentlessly crashed over you throughout the entire night. The result was a fitful night’s sleep full of tossing and turning, but you somehow didn’t feel tired. Whatever weariness you would normally feel from little to no sleep was overwhelmed by the intensity of your excitation. It even made you to ignore the rare opportunity you had to sleep in since training was cancelled for the ceremony. You simply had too many thoughts to lay still in bed, and too many feelings to sit around and do nothing. So, when your internal clock had alerted you it was the usual time to get up for training, you had swiftly flipped the covers off your body to allow a surge of cool air to sharpen your senses. Your mind was wired, body itching to do something, and you had hastily racked your brain for what that something would be. Ultimately, since the training grounds were closed, you had decided eating a big breakfast was the best option.

Continuing your journey to the kitchen, you tapped your fingertips against the ruby hilt of the dagger strapped to your side.

He’s coming back today. You looked down at the blade and changed your tapping to more of a gentle pat. You only need to put up with me for a little longer.

“Little scorja!” A distant, muffled voice gasped out.

Your head lifted, and you saw Tae walking toward you while smiling around a pastry that was shoved against his lips.

“TaeTae!” You exclaimed brightly as he crammed the rest of the pastry in his mouth and skipped over.

The blue-eyed male slid to a stop beside you and gave you a light nudge accompanied by a wink. “Well, someone’s looking quite happy this morning.”

“I’m about to eat, you know how that gets me going.” You affectionately knocked your shoulder into his while reaching down to hold his hand.

He giggled and sent a sly smile your way. “I’m sure you’re just famished after last night if those red and puffy eyes are anything to go by.”

“Ah yes,” you replied dreamily while rolling your red and puffy eyes, “that’s just what every girl wants to hear in the morning.”

You weren’t entirely sure what being famished had to do with sleep deprivation but you decided it wasn’t important enough to wallow on, so you switched topics by asking what time he thought they would be arriving.

“Who?”

You gently flicked the male’s chest while rolling your eyes. “Uh, who else? Kook and Mr. Sparkle Hands.”

Slowly, Tae’s boxy grin vanished and was replaced with a look of confusion while he cocked his head to the side. “Wait, you have you not seen him?”

“Who?” You echoed the male with furrowed brows.

The Saeni nervously cleared his throat, the playfulness in his eyes evaporating into unease. “They arrived a few hours ago… Kook hasn’t gone to see you?”

You stilled, quietly absorbing the news, before withdrawing your hand from Tae’s so you could grab onto your own arm. “Oh… um, no. He hasn’t.”

The male frowned but was fast to shake his head and give you a reassuring grin. “Maybe he fell asleep! He did seem really tired at the meeting earlier.”

“Yeah… maybe.” You pressed your lips together and looked at the floor.

The bright, elated feeling in your chest began to wilt into something heavy and stinging, but before it could completely wither away, you made your brain call a timeout. Okay. Okay. Okay. He’s here… he’s been here for a few hours. And he hasn’t come to see me, but let’s not think too much into it. Tae’s right. He could be tired, still recovering, wanting to get his energy back up… Though it’s not like it takes much to do a quick check-in. Wait. He probably doesn’t even know what room I’m in… but he could’ve just asked one of the bo-

“Want me to take you to his room?” Tae’s soft voice interrupted your rambling, conflicted thoughts.

You lifted your head at the idea and parted your lips, a “yes” dancing on the edge of your tongue. Yet you couldn’t bring yourself to say it. You couldn’t remove the splinter of disappointment that was now lodged in your chest. Jungkook didn’t want to see you right now. If he did, he would have found you. The thought pushed the splinter deeper into your heart and you winced. Shaking your head at both the tiny, piercing pain and your friend, you told Tae that he was probably right and that you wouldn’t want to disturb Jungkook if he was resting.

“I… Are you sure?” The blue-eyed male tugged on his feather earring as his brows drew close together, but you didn’t say anything else. “Want to spar for a bit then? I know the training grounds are closed today, but we’re used to doing it in the forest anyway, right? Or! Or I can walk you to the garden where Yoongi hyung and Hobi hyung are!”

Sliding your hand down your arm to hold your wrist, you kept yourself from reaching for the glinting blade at your side. “Thanks TaeTae, but I’m sure Yoongi and Hobi want some alone time… and I’m actually pretty sore from training yesterday, so…” You were lying and you knew that he knew it. You could visibly see the worry plastered on the Saeni’s face, but you forced a tight smile and told him you were going to head back to your room to lay down. “It’s going to be crazy later, so I think I’m just gonna relax before getting ready for the ceremony.”

Tae’s eyes scanned your face, uncertainty consuming his features, until he gently exhaled and said he would walk you to your room.

You could easily tell Tae wanted to say something else, but he surprisingly held himself back and kept quiet. When you made it to your door, the Saeni pulled you into a hug to squish you close for several seconds. He left a light kiss to your cheek then stepped away. With a pointed look that silently told you to get him if you needed anything, the male swiveled around and strode away. You watched his receding figure until he disappeared around the corner then blew out a long puff of air and went inside your room. After the door weaved itself back together behind you, you squeezed your eyes shut and leaned against the branches. You felt somewhat empty, the hurricane of excitement from earlier now dull and washed out. A knot was also gradually forming in your stomach, the unpleasant and tight feeling reminding you that you never did make it to the kitchen and likely wouldn’t for the rest of the day. Not that you thought it would matter much. You’d lost your appetite anyway.

Pulling the fabric behind your back, you blindly formed a bow over your spine. You secured the knot while internally praying the result wasn’t too lopsided. You were never particularly good at making bows look nice and pretty. It was usually Jimin’s job to laugh at your poor attempts until he took pity and provided help. Unfortunately, the apricot head was nowhere in sight.

No Slim Jim… and no coconut-headed asshat either. You sighed and smoothed your hand over the light, gossamer-like fabric draped on your body.

The dress was long, loosely falling to your ankles, with asymmetrical bell sleeves that stopped just below your elbows. The garment was courtesy of Jiae, who had it delivered a couple days ago alongside a note specifying she had had it made for you since you didn’t have any of Illain’s custom mourning clothing. Of course, your human ass had seen “mourning” and expected black or some other dark color, but it turned out to be quite the opposite. The fabric was a pale yellow and green that was so light and soft it was reminiscent of morning sunlight peeking through tree leaves. The material was sheer but not entirely see-through, giving the dress an almost milky translucence. The neckline stopped at your collarbones, allowing your silver necklace to be displayed. You would have been feeling graceful if not for the worn boots that were laced over your feet. They roughed up the entire look, but you merely shrugged before tugging them on. They were the only footwear you had since you didn’t know what had happened to your sneakers after you’d switched shoes during your first visit to the palace.

At least they’re comfy and won’t make me suffer. You gently knocked one boot against the other.

“Unlike some people,” you mumbled as you plopped down on your bed.

You still hadn’t seen Jungkook, or rather, Jungkook still hadn’t come to see you. You had been holed up in your room since the morning, not wanting to leave in case he showed up but… he never did.

Blowing out a raspberry, you hung your head and allowed yourself exactly ten seconds of moping before slapping your hands against your thighs and standing back up. Stepping over to the table in the corner, you picked up Jungkook’s dagger and its sheath.

Thankfully the brown leather will match the boots. You slipped the belt around your waist just below the bow at your back.

Just as you were threading the strap through the buckle, a short rap came from your door. Your fingers froze while your head darted up and your breath got caught in your throat. Hastily crossing the room, you tightly gripped the leather in your hands as your heart swelled with hope. But as the door’s branches untwisted, you came face to face with a lilac-haired princess instead of your boyfriend. Your chest twinged but you swallowed down the disappointment to smile at the female.

“Hey Jiae-whoa.” You openly gawked at her dress because it was seriously fancy.

Like yours, it was a pale yellow and green, but it was more elaborate and detailed with embellishments, sparkling jewels, and an airy cape that covered her otherwise bare shoulders.

“Ah… yeah…” She followed your gaze to her dress and pulled at the fabric of her cape with a tiny roll of her eyes. “It’s excessive, I know, but it’s what comes with being a princess.”

“Sure, it’s excessive, but you look good as hell.” You nodded approvingly as you moved to finish buckling the dagger to your body. “Slim Jim’s nose is gonna bleed… if it hasn’t already, that is.”

The female’s nose scrunched. “His nose… is going to… bleed?”

“It’s a good thing, I promise.” You smirked then casually leaned against the doorframe and crossed your ankles. “So, what brings you here? I would’ve thought you’d already be in the ceremony room.”

“I’m about to head there, but I wanted to see if you would like to walk down together?” Jiae asked with kind eyes and a hopeful smile.

You blinked in surprise. “You’re actually asking and not just dragging me there?”

“Hey! Don’t make it sounds like I kidnap you for our lunch dates!”

“I’m kidding. I’m kidding.” You laughed, pushed off the frame, and took a step forward so your door would weave itself back together. “Let’s go then.”

You forced yourself to not look down at the ruby gemstone on the dagger as you shoved your desire to have Jungkook be the one to pick you up and take you to the ceremony to the far recesses of your mind. You had been wishing for Jungkook to show up all day. You had been waiting for him. But no more. You still desperately wanted to see him, hold him, kiss him… but you refused to sit around and twiddle your thumbs for another minute.

The princess beamed at you then hooked her arm through yours to begin leading you down the hallway. A few doors down, Chungha was watching you both approach with her usual serious expression. She was also wearing pale yellow and green, but in contrast to you and Jiae’s delicate and nearly sheer fabric, her outfit was thick and armored. As she started to walk beside Jiae, you pressed your lips together and gave the female guard a polite nod which she returned. Meeting Chungha’s eyes made your guilt flare up again, though, so you quickly averted your gaze and swallowed hard. Taking a shaky, deep breath, you rolled your shoulders to try to rid yourself of the tension while the three of you strolled toward the ceremony room. Minutes and corridors passed by, but none of you spoke. The event you were going to wasn’t exactly something to giggle excitedly about. Instead, the only sounds came from you and Chungha’s boots thumping against the wooden floor and Jiae’s low humming. Eventually, you found yourself in the midst of other Saeni also heading to the ceremony, and you merged into their yellow and green stream that was filled with hushed murmurs.

A short while later, you were finally entering the room hosting the ceremony. The space was like the throne room you had seen the first time you entered the palace, with spaced out trees serving as the walls and swaying leaves creating an open-air roof. The difference was this room was bigger and more spacious. Plus, there was a huge, blazing fire in the middle of the room that was sending swirling tufts of white smoke through the leaves. All around you, there was an abundance of light. Not only was the fire burning brightly, but the sun shone through the gaps between the tree trunks and full leaves, and there were also multitudes of lanterns hanging from the branches that casted a soft glow throughout the room. Altogether, it created a stunning blend of shifting lights and shadows. The room was crowded too. So many Saeni, all wearing pale yellow and green, were already packed into the space and were milling about.

A small tug on your arm made your feet come to a stop, and then Jiae was speaking into your ear about how she needed to go find her father. Before moving away, she also said she believed the boys should be toward the far side of the room if you wanted to look for them. You half-smiled in understanding and she tenderly touched your shoulder before pulling away and following Chungha into the sea of Saeni.

You stood still for a minute, just taking in the atmosphere surrounding you. Breathing deeply, you tilted your head back and stared at the treetops gently moving back and forth.

Alright. You blew out a long exhale and releveled your gaze. Let’s go find the boys.

Suddenly, your palms grew sweaty at the prospect of seeing Jungkook. You were nervous, antsy, and worried about how you would interact. Would things be normal? Would they be different? Were you completely overthinking it all? A small part of you was even tempted to hide and avoid the encounter. But you also wanted to see Yoongi. And you really did want to see Jungkook, you were just a little jittery. Chastising yourself, you told your brain to pull up its big girl panties and get itself together.

The other side of the room. You recalled Jiae’s words and went on your tippy toes to try to see over the crowed for any glimpse of the kiela, but you couldn’t make out much. It was like being at the very back of the pit during a concert and having several people shift into your line of sight. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, really, but it still made you want to grit your teeth in frustration. With a huff, you brought your heels back to the floor and plunged into the throng of Saeni. Blindly, you began to work your way towards the opposite end of the very large room. While shouldering your way through the crowd as politely as you could, you kept trying to get a peek of the kiela members, but you weren’t having any luck.

You were craning your neck and standing on your toes for yet another mostly obscured scan of the room when someone bumped into your side. It wasn’t a hard hit by any means, but the angle of the contact made you stumble. You internally sighed, knowing you were either about to fall on your ass or into an unsuspecting Saeni, when hands miraculously grasped your shoulders and kept you upright. Steadying your feet and letting out a relieved breath, you looked over to thank your savior, but the words got stuck when you recognized the Saeni. You’d interacted with him only once before, and you didn’t know if you could really count exchanging punches and kicks as an interaction, but you still remembered the male’s face and how his originally shy smile had turned serious.

Narrowing your gaze at the Saeni, you cleared your throat and lifted your chin. “You.”

The male, whose name was Yoo Yong-something, stared at you then flashed you that damn shy smile. “Um, do I know you?”

“You kicked my ass at the sparring matches. The ones with Jeon Jungkook officiating. I’d like a rematch.”

Recognition finally flickered in the male’s eyes and he let go of your shoulders. “Ah! That’s why you look familiar. Sorry I didn’t remember you at first, my mind was kind of overwhelmed with the Jeon Jungkook being there that day. He’s a freaking legend.”

Yeah, a legendary pain in the ass. You rolled your eyes at the return of the asshat’s ridiculous fanclub as Saeni continued to shift and move all around you.

“But sure, we can have a rematch if you want.” The male crossed his arms over his chest and studied you briefly. “Though the outcome will be the same as last time.”

You only hummed thoughtfully and gave him a once-over in response, but the sound contained such a sharp edge that the male blinked in surprise. You smirked at his reaction then morphed your lips into a genuine grin. “Thanks for catching me by the way.”

Before he could say anything else, you pivoted on your heel and began to move away while calling over your shoulder, “Well, I’ll see you around soon then. I’m looking forward to our rematch!”

You dove back into the crowd and continued your search for the “legend” and the other boys. To your right, the fire was snapping loudly. Above you, the lanterns swayed, and the leaves rustled soothingly. All around you, conversations at respectful volumes floated into the air. And up ahead, after somehow breaking into a less populated area of the room, was what appeared to be a refreshment table. It was lined with small snacks on tiered plates and tall silver pitchers were next to stemmed glasses. The sight of food made your stomach grumble, and you were reminded that you hadn’t eaten anything all day. After a moment of contemplation, you decided it was worthwhile to give the spread a quick inspection. You approached the table and scanned its contents but unfortunately none of the dainty finger foods or fancily decorated desserts called out “Eat me! Eat me!”

Dammit. Is a singular mini corn dog too much to ask for?

While you pouted and wished for some simple fried comfort food, a Saeni passed you to snatch up one of the silver pitchers at the end of the table. You watched, mouth suddenly going dry, as they poured a clear liquid into a glass, downed the drink in three big gulps and a hiccup, then poured another glassful before shuffling away.

Water is better than nothing, I guess. Smacking your lips together, you moved down the table, selected a glass, then picked up a pitcher.

“I wouldn’t recommend the viitulx unless you want to numb yourself to reality.” A voice filled with warning came from across the table.

Your actions halted and you lifted your head to see a merlot-haired Saeni regarding you with soft eyes.

“Yugyeom!”

“Hi there, Y/N.” The male’s lips twitched at the corners before he put his hand over yours to gently guide the pitcher back to the table. “It’s one of the strongest alcohols in Illain. Believe me when I say it will put you on your ass.”

You frowned at the pitcher and its clear contents. “I thought it was water.”

Yugyeom withdrew his hand and said you wouldn’t be finding any water at the ceremony. Tilting your head, you tried to piece together why there wouldn’t be any water, but he didn’t elaborate so you ultimately just accepted the information. As you pushed the pitcher back to where you’d found it, Yugyeom trekked around the table to your side and held his arm out toward you. You blankly stared at his arm for several seconds until he thrust it toward you a little more. Finally, you got that he was wanting to do that forearm grasp greeting thing you’d seen the boys do before. Making a noise of realization, you belatedly slapped your hand against the male’s forearm while he suppressed an amused chuckle and told you how nice it was to see you again.

“You, too. I’m really glad you’re okay Yugyeom.” You looked at him sincerely and noticed the violet in his hair stood out more vibrantly against the color of the mourning clothes.

“I heard that Kook was injured…” The easy-going expression on the male’s face faltered for a moment before he let out a soft laugh. “But I’m sure he healed up fast, right? Nothing can keep that bastard down for long.”

All you did was slowly move your head in agreement, feeling somewhat awkward since you actually didn’t know how Jungkook had healed besides what Yoongi had written in his messages.

“You know, I’m actually surprised he isn’t with you.” The Saeni stepped back and his eyes dropped to your waist. “Especially since you have that damn dagger of his strapped to your side.”

Resisting the urge to tap the handle of the weapon, you instead toyed with the frabric of your dress. “I, ah, just haven’t had the chance to return it to him yet.”

I mean, that is the truth.

“Heh, have you two been that busy?” Yugyeom chortled to himself then looked at you curiously. “Tell me, did he finally choke you properly?”

Now that made you choke on your own spit, which in turn made you cough and gasp for air. “You-You think I haven’t given him back his dagger ‘cuz we’ve been too busy canoodling!?”

“Well, I’m not wrong, am I?”

“As a matter of fact, you are. I, um…” Your voice trailed off and you gripped at the fabric under your hands. “I actually haven’t seen him since that day. Since Draikiltho.”

“Didn’t he arrive at the palace this morning?”

You flashed him your best finger gun alongside a self-deprecating laugh. “That’s a bingo.”

As Yugyeom’s brows knit together, a Saeni with swollen eyes quietly excused himself past you to reach for the viitulx. You slid out of the Saeni’s way and turned back to Yugyeom, who was studying you. The male silently looked at you for a couple heartbeats, sort of making you feel fidgety, before randomly saying there were some people he wanted to introduce you to.

“We can ask if they’ve seen Kook or the other members of your kiela too.”

A warmth rapidly spread across your chest. Your kiela. The thought had the corners of your lips turning up, and Yugyeom must have seen it since his own eyes softened.

“Okay then.” You motioned for him to move while trying to calm your happy heart. “Lead the way.”

He took your wrist in his hand and pulled you back into the dense crowd. A couple minutes later, you were standing beside Yugyeom with a group of six males before you.

“Everyone, I’d like you to meet Y/N,” Yugyeom called out to the males to get their attention then gestured toward them as he spoke to you. “Y/N, this my kiela.”

Surprised, you jostled him with your arm. “Hey, I didn’t know you had a kiela.”

“Who you got there Yugyeom?” A male with long, icy blue hair asked with narrowed eyes but an intrigued tone.

Another Saeni with olive-colored orbs that were glinting teasingly slug his arm over the blue-haired male’s shoulders. “Wow, is it finally the day he has us meet a girlfriend? I’m not going to lie, though, it’s kind of a bad event to do it at.”

“Shit, do we need to act over-protective?” A bleach-blonde head started to panic but then he caught sight of your face and looked at you funnily.

“No way.” The male with short pink hair denied as his gaze stopped on the dagger at your side. “She seems too badass to be with him.”

The last two males didn’t say anything, just trailed both their deep red eyes over you in a way that made you feel like you were being thoroughly inspected.

“Um, hi? I’m Y/N, nice to meet you all.” You habitually raised your hand to wave but cursed and hastily placed your thumb over your chest and drew it down.

“Well, that was weird,” the pink-haired one muttered with an openly judgmental look.

“The rude one there is BamBam,” Yugyeom informed you, causing BamBam to send you a wink accompanied by a finger salute.

“My name is Mark.” The olive-eyed male used his free arm to perform the greeting gesture.

The rest of the group introduced themselves one by one. Youngjae and Jinyoung were the males with red eyes, and it was Jackson with the bleach-blonde hair. Finally, the icy-haired male stepped forward and dragged his thumb down in his chest and said his name was Jaebeom. Politely smiling, you shifted your gaze over each male while mentally matching them with their names.

Beside you, Yugeyeom cracked his knuckles. “Alright, now that that’s out of the way, have any of you see-”

“Ughhhh, I just can’t believe she doesn’t recognize us!” Jackson suddenly wailed, interrupting the merlot-haired Saeni.

You peered at the now sullen male. “I’m sorry? Am I supposed to…?”

“Yes!”

At a complete loss, you glanced at Yugyeom but he mirrored your look of confusion.

“Jackson, Youngjae, and I have briefly encountered you before,” Jinyoung offered helpfully… but it still didn’t ring any bells.

That must be why the three of them were looking at me oddly.

You squinted at the three males to try to place where you had supposedly met them before, but you kept drawing blanks, so you could only wince apologetically. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I really don’t remember.”

Jackson gasped and looked downright offended while Youngjae sighed and added, “You were with Namjoon’s kiela. We stopped you right outside the palace grounds a few months ago.”

A hazy memory came to mind. A small group of Saeni had indeed stopped you and the boys. One of them had blonde hair and Hobi said something about training with him in the past. You couldn’t remember the faces or names, but if it was a blonde then you figured it must have been Jackson.

Sheepishly, you told them that was all you recalled.

“Aha! You do remember me!”

Jinyoung slapped Jackson on the back. “Congratulations. She remembers your hair.”

“And probably only because you were the one who spoke,” Youngjae quipped dryly.

“Whatever. It counts.”

Their banter made you stifle a laugh. It reminded you of your boys and their crazy antics, yet you didn’t linger on the thought for long, instead refocusing on Yugyeom’s kiela because there was one thing you were wondering about.

“Why weren’t you with Yugyeom at the field?” You asked to none of the males in particular.

BamBam let out an annoyed exhale. “You could say we weren’t invited.”

“Er, sort of,” Jaebeom said shyly before explaining they had been told to stay back to protect the palace and village in case any draikensu showed up. Yugyeom, though, had been ordered to go with the troops because of his speed and endurance.

“Our Yugyeom is perfect for being a messenger boy.” BamBam strolled up to said male and tickled his fingers under Yugyeom’s jaw, making the Saeni squirm away in agitation.

“So, Y/N…” Mark abruptly yet coyly said, making you hum questioningly. “How’d you start dating our sprout?”

You blanched. They actually think we’re dating!?

Luckily, Yugyeom pushed BamBam away and saved you from having to clarify your mutually platonic relationship yourself.

“Oh my goddess, we are not dating! I met her right before Draikiltho, and she’s actually with Jungkook, so please don’t say that again or he will try to kill me.”

Understanding dawned on the males’ faces and some of them even had the audacity to look at you aghast, as if they couldn’t believe it. You just raised a brow, daring them to say something about you or your boyfriend.

Jackson whistled and jerked his chin toward you. “So that’s Jungkook’s dagger then? I knew I had seen it somewhere before.”

“Yeah yeah, it is,” Yugyeom answered for you in a dismissive tone. “Anyway, have any of you seen that bastard? Y/N hasn’t seen him since the field, and I would like to be the one to kickstart their beautiful reunion.”

“You haven’t seen him at all?” Jinyoung asked.

Grimacing, you told the males that Jungkook had been injured at Draikiltho so he hadn’t returned to the palace with you. Then, even though he had finally arrived at the palace this morning, you still hadn’t seen him once.

BamBam suddenly snorted, drawing your attention, and he gazed at you pitifully. “You got deciduoued.”

The other males whipped their heads in BamBam’s direction to send him warning glares. A couple of them even whispered at him to shut up.

Meanwhile, you just blinked at him and cocked your head to the side. “I got Dewey Decimal what now?”

“Deciduoued.” The pink-hiared male ignored his kiela and gave you an incredulous look when you continued to blink at him. “As is deciduous? Like the trees that shed their leaves? How have you never heard of this?” He scoffed at you in astonishment while you frowned at his attitude.

Considering I am from another world and don’t have an extensive list of horticulture terms in my chickpea brain, it’s pretty fucking reasonable I haven’t heard of this.

You were about to tell the male off when the meaning of the word registered and caused you to stiffen.

Shedding leaves? Don’t tell me this is… Saeni slang for ghosting? Is Jungkook… ghosting me?

At the same time you bit your lip at the possibility, Jaebeom strode over and smacked BamBam upside the head while Yugyeom elbowed him in the gut.

BamBam promptly whined and rubbed his side, and Yugyeom turned to you and told you to disregard the male. “He’s just an asshole sometimes.”

You released hollow chuckle and were about to reply that you could deal with BamBam. He wasn’t the only asshole you knew, after all. Yet before you could say so, a loud chime-like sound flooded the the air. You perked up as a hush fell around the room in the chime’s wake. The Saeni started to move, and you could just barely make out them leaving a wide circle open around the fire. Then, little by little, everyone’s attention turned toward the side of the room you had been trying to get to. Following suit, you also looked over. Through the heads and shoulders, you could see King Bang standing on a platform of sorts with Jiae at his side.

The king, outfitted in yellow and green armor, took a step forward. “Three weeks ago, there was a morning that was not kissed by light. Rather, it was a morning tainted by blood and death. Many lives… too many lives… were lost that morning. We are here to honor those lives.

“Tonight, we pray to our mother goddess, Illai, to tenderly watch over the Saeni from that morning. Tonight, we thank Exia for giving those Saeni the courage to fight and the will to protect who and what they love.

“Every Saeni who has met the mother goddess because of Draikiltho will be named. Those that wish to honor them may do so.” The king extended his hand toward the fire roaring in the center of the room before lowering it. “There will also be fires outside if you prefer a more private setting.”

The king then called for one, cohesive prayer to begin the ceremony. While he and Jiae bowed their heads, all the other Saeni shifted to face the fire. Yugyeom gently guided you to do the same with his fingers. You held your breath, waiting for what would come next. The entire room seemed to go stagnant. None of the Saeni moved. The breeze died down, the leaves went motionless, the lanterns stopped swaying. All was still except for the snapping flames licking at the warm air.

Then…

“To our Saeni, who lived and fought bravely and are now resting with the mother goddess!” The king’s voice loudly resonated throughout the space and drove the world back into motion.

The Saeni echoed his words with passionate shouts, many of them even throwing their heads back to scream it into the sky that was visible through the tree branches. Once the remnants of their voices were carried away by the wind, the Saeni lowered their heads and began to murmur under their breath. Inhaling deeply through your nose, you closed your eyes and repeated the king’s words as a whisper while feeling your chest pinch with emotion.

You stayed that way for some time, just emitting as much gratitude as you could, before Jiae’s light voice soothed over the room. “We will begin the individual prayers in a few minutes.”

Slowly, the Saeni lifted their heads and started to move. A large portion of the crowd dispersed, spilling out between the gaps of the tree trunks and toward what you assumed were the fires outside. Craning your neck and shifting your weight from side to side, you once again tried to spot the boys through the crisscrossing bodies.

“Yugyeom?” You heard BamBam approach and you glanced over while trying to keep your footing against all the moving Saeni.

“Yeah?” the merlot-haired Saeni replied with wary eyes and blocked his throat with his hand.

“You said you were looking for Jungkook?”

Yugyeom apprehensively dropped his hand. “Yes…?”

“To the right of the dais by maybe seventeen steps.” With that, BamBam met your gaze, gave you a small nod, and wandered back to his other members.

As the males started razzing him, your head swiveled to the right of where the king and Jiae were still standing and began to search. Filtering through the faces and modge-podge rainbow of hair colors, your eyes carefully scanned the area… and saw a glimpse of apricot-orange next to mint-blue.

In the next second, you could see the entire kiela. None of them were wearing armor and it was almost shocking to see them sans weapons, but it was them without a doubt. A small gasp came from your lips and your heart thudded and skipped when you locked onto Jungkook’s profile. Maybe you were only imagining it, but you could feel your nape tingling and growing warm too. Scouring your eyes over his figure, you exhaled a relieved sigh that he no longer looked hurt. He was back to standing in that infuriatingly cocky yet intimidating way of his. You wished you could see his stupidly cute smile and his bright, glittering eyes, but the angle didn’t allow you to see his face very well. You did, however, that his jaw was clenched in what seemed like a scowl.

I’ve been on the receiving end of his glare enough times to know when he isn’t pleased… but why is he upset?

You watched as his hands formed fists and he walked away from his brothers to disappear into the crowd, making Yoongi throw his hands into the air in frustration. Without thinking, your foot lifted off the floor and your body readied itself to go after Jungkook, but you paused. You didn’t know where he went and had no idea where he was going. Not to mention, the other boys were right there.

Kookie’s made me wait this long to see him, so now he can wait until I’m finished seeing the other boys. You decided somewhat pettily.

“Let me know if you need me to kick his ass later.”

You tore your gaze from the kiela to side-eye Yugyeom skeptically.

“What!?” His jaw dropped in shock as if he’d been betrayed. “I could totally kick his ass!��

“Mhmm. That sparring session I witnessed says otherwise,” you deadpanned.

The Saeni grumbled then dismally told you to get going before the ceremony started back up. After thanking the male for his help, you cracked a smile when he made you promise to organize a hangout between both kielas. Peeking over Yugyeom’s shoulder, you waved to the rest of his kiela and let out a small laugh at how Jackson was shaking his fists at you in encouragement. Then, you turned around, gave the ruby gemstone on Jungkook’s dagger a light tap, and started making your way over to the boys.

You squeezed through Saeni, bumped into a handful more, and tripped over a few stray feet, but you finally found yourself closing in on the kiela. You were weaving between several more Saeni when you saw Tae’s face light up and he began pushing his way through the crowd while lightly calling your name. He moved fast, getting to you in no time to excitedly sweep you into a hug. Rocking you back and forth and not caring if he knocked into other Saeni as he did so, the male gushed about how beautiful you looked. Humming in content, you leaned back and squished his cheeks between your palms. You giggled at his smooshed face as the ends of his grey hair tickled your fingers despite his trademark headband still resting above his forehead. Wordlessly, Tae reached up to grab one of your hands and tugged you through the Saeni to the kiela. When you were a few yards out from his brothers, you pulled yourself from Tae’s grasp and rushed over to Yoongi, who was trying to act nonchalant and like he wasn’t totally watching your approach out of the corner of his eye. Hurrying over and waving at the other boys as they happily greeted you, you threw your arms around Yoongi. The male’s petal pink eyes widened in surprise and he even tried to raise his hands to ward off your sudden attack, but there was no real intent behind the movement as you easily enveloped him.

“I missed you, Mr. Sparkle Hands.”

“Well, I didn’t miss you,” he said grouchily but then wrapped his own arms tightly around you. After a couple seconds of peaceful silence, he whispered in your ear, “You’re going to need to talk to him. He’s being a fucking idiot.”

You sighed into his shoulder, not needing to ask who he was talking about.

“I will later,” you whispered back, “Once the ceremony is over, I’ll find him.”

Yoongi grunted in acknowledgement and rubbed your back twice before separating from you to let Jimin hug you from the side. As the apricot head heavily draped himself over you and dropped one of his arms to poke at your ribs, you breathed out comfortably and surveyed the kiela. It was still jarring not seeing them with their weapons or armor, but they were all here and they were safe. Instead of being prepared to fight and wreck anyone who stood in their way, they were empty-handed and dressed in casual shirts and loose-fitting pants that were tucked into their boots. It was a different but nice change to see.

Blocking Jimin’s next poke without looking, you hooked your elbow around his and grinned at everyone. “The gang’s all here… Mostly.”

“Idiot.” You heard Yoongi mumble while your best friend muttered something about running out of Spongebob references one day.

Simultaneously, Namjoon winced at the reminder of Jungkook’s absence while the other members tried to hide their grimaces. You knew exactly how they felt. It didn’t feel right without the youngest member of the kiela. It made your fingers twitch and your senses more alert. Tempted your eyes to scan your surroundings for enemies. Tricked your mind into thinking it was the night after the battle when you were emotionally and physically drained but so scared and on edge that you couldn’t rest. Fighting back a shiver, you ran your hands down your dress. It was obviously doing no good for you or the boys to dwell on the lack of the asshat’s presence, especially when it was his choice to not be here, so you decided to forcefully change the topic.

You jabbed your elbow into your best friend’s ribs. “So, did your nose bleed when you saw Jiae?”

The half-Saeni wheezed, though you weren’t sure whether it was from your hit or question. Jimin deliberately looked away as you waited for an answer, causing Tae to snicker and his blue eyes to flash naughtily. This made Jimin dart his head toward his brother and subtly shake his head.

The blue-eyed male payed no mind to the plead, instead turning to you cheerfully and declaring, “His nose didn’t bleed but something else sure made its presence known!”

Something else?

…

.. OH.

You gaped at the now blushing apricot head before saying his name in the most “scandalized” tone you could muster. While your willpower barely kept your laughter at bay, the announcement rippled through the kiela with varying degrees of reactions.

“I don’t want any more sprouts!” Jin cried out, earning a few looks from bystanders, and Namjoon simply pinched the bridge of his nose. The eldest of the kiela then pointed at Jimin’s crotch with a fearful expression. “I don’t care that Yoongi makes us that potion, make sure you keep that thing in your pants. Kookie alone is enough to deal with.”

Knees growing weak, you had to smack a hand over your mouth to muffle your cackle while Yoongi looked unimpressed and Hobi just coughed into his fist and casually shifted a couple inches away from the group. A whine rose into the air and Jimin begged for you all to stop with flushed ears. Lucky for him, he was saved from more teasing by the same chime sound from before softly ringing throughout the room, causing you and all the Saeni to quickly quiet down and redirect your attention to the dais.

After a few moments, King Bang’s voice once again took over the room. “Every Saeni who was lost to Draikiltho will be remembered and revered until the day our trees are uprooted from the earth and our sun goes into a permanent slumber… but because of their courage, that day will not arrive in this liftetime! We will cry their names to the setting sun! We will sing of their valor to the treetops! We will make them feel our recognition even as they rest with the mother goddess!”

The king took a moment to calm his voice and you leaned forward on your toes.

“All who were present that day were vital to our prevail over darkness. But there were a select few who’s daring actions and selfless spirits directly influenced our victory and allowed us all to continue feeling the sun’s warmth. Let us honor them first.”

A plume of sparks went up in your peripherals right as King Bang raised his chin.

“Kim ‘Suho’ Junmyeon!”

Your body jerked, muscles involuntarily spasming at the name. You scarcely registered that Jiae was stepping down from the dais and that Chungha was following as the princess strode to the fire. Hardly noticed that the kiela was also moving. Your vision was only filled with the recollection of a twisting blade and eyes becoming dull and glossy.

“Little scorja?”

Blinking, you refocused on the room and saw Namjoon looking back at you, waiting. The rest of the kiela were already heading toward the fire, but the yellow-eyed male stood still and sadly smiled in a way that said he understood and was there with you.

Then he lifted his hand out to you. “It’s okay. Come on.”

Exhaling, you took his hand and Namjoon began to lead you through the crowd. Once you finally broke through the circle of Saeni surrounding the fire, the male let go of your hand as you both joined his brothers in front of the flames. Sweltering heat thrummed out from the burning wood in constant waves, making your skin feel like it would surely be scorched if you went any closer. Peering side to side, you saw Jiae and Chungha standing before the fire as well as several other Saeni you didn’t know. Many of them were in the same guard uniform as Chungha too. Tilting your head, you followed the dense smoke whirling above you and listened to the leaves tremble in the breeze.

“To Suho, who lived and fought bravely and is now resting with the mother goddess!”

Sucking in air through your teeth, you shouted the words back alongside everyone else in your small, separated circle around the fire. Lowering your gaze to the sizzling embers, you rubbed your thumb over the ruby gemstone at your side and remembered the guard.

In a soft voice, you spoke, “I know Namjoon said that sometimes there’s nothing we can do, but I’m still sorry for not being able to save you. Thank you for fighting with us, and I hope you’ve been able to rest peacefully.”

A minute later, the group honoring the guard broke apart and you all returned to the crowd. Despite the warm air flowing through the open walls, you felt a chill go through you as you followed the boys and left the roaring fire behind.

King Bang then called two other names in succession, and while you didn’t recognize them, Jimin went to the fire with guilt and regret in his light brown eyes for each one. You reasoned they must have been Saeni who had escorted him to the rift. Your assumption was proven correct when the next name called included ‘Stem.’

You didn’t hesitate this time. Immediately, you joined Jimin and pushed through the fire with him. Standing beside your best friend, you repeated the commemorating phrase with a yell. The memory of the male’s life bleeding out as a consequence of your fingers made you flinch, but you steadied yourself and told Stem that you finished the favor he had asked of you. You had helped and saved your friend, and you had only been able to do so because of him.

“Thank you for helping me.”

Two more names came after you went back to the kiela, and you watched as Jimin honored them both. Your best friend returned with stiff limbs and languid breaths. You reached for him, ready to offer whatever comfort you could provide…

But then the name came that was like a jagged stake to your heart.

“Song Mingi.”

All your movements froze, the ache you had grown familiar with blooming once more in your chest, before you squeezed your eyes tightly shut and slowly counted to three. Opening your eyes, you then marched toward the fire with the entire kiela on your heels. A glance sideways confirmed Jiae and Chungha were both at the fire again, but you moved your gaze off them quickly. You still couldn’t bear to look at Chungha. Especially not right now. As Tae and Jimin settled on either side of you, you noticed a group of males gathered on the other side of the fire as well. Half of them were blocked from view by the dancing flames, but for some reason, your eyes locked onto those you could see and wouldn’t look away. The males held on to each other, grief overtaking their faces in the glowing, flickering light. Their eyes welling up with tears and lips quivering.

“To Mingi, who lived and fought bravely and is now resting with the mother goddess!”

Without pause, you repeated the king’s words and they erupted from your throat in a scream. It was a wild sound full of remorse but also respect and gratitude. It blended with the Saeni’s shouts and the smoke to soar past the leaves and into the sky. The aching in your chest panged as everyone’s voices scattered in the wind and your fingers automatically shifted, searching out Jungkook’s dagger. Breathing out with tensed muscles when your fingertips touched the warming gemstone, you continued watching the group across the fire. Strangely, you didn’t feel compelled to whisper to the hazel-eyed Saeni even as you could faintly hear the kiela doing so. Illai had said Mingi would only know peace now, and you didn’t want to bother him with more of your dreary apologies. Instead, an idea began to form in your mind as you stared at the unknown group of males and how they were sniffling and struggling to keep themselves together.

I don’t know who they are or who they were to you, Mingi, but you are obviously very important to them… so I’m willing to bet they are just as important to you.

The prayer for Mingi ended, yet you didn’t go back with the boys. Rather, you hurried around the blazing fire and toward the group of males. You trailed after them, trying to catch up without making a scene as the king announced the next Saeni to honor. Some of the males had their heads down and were stumbling, but they moved fast, and it took you nearly a minute to reach them.

“Um, excuse me?” You tentatively stretched your arm out to the closest one but wavered just before you touched their back.

Although you didn’t make physical contact with the male, he must have sensed your proximity because he abruptly stopped. This in turn made the others in the group come to halt one by one, and then they all turned around.

You faltered slightly at their broken expressions but stammered out, “M-Mingi saved my life. He sacrificed himself to save my life. I’m still here only because of him and-”

The tallest Saeni in the middle of the pack suddenly sobbed into his hand. His whole body shuddered, and his red eyes grew glassy before he placed the palm of his free hand over his forehead to hide his face. He took a shaky step backwards, then spun around and hastily raced away. In a heartbeat, most of the other males went after him. All except for two. The shorter male left had strawberry-red hair, and the other was a dirty blonde with one side shaved.

What did I just do? You moved to cover your mouth, shocked by the insensitivity of your own words.

“I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I just thought you deserved to know.”

You poured all the sincerity you could into your apology, feeling so ashamed of yourself. You approached them thinking Mingi would appreciate you checking in on them… but here you were making them hurt and cry even more.

“Thank you,” the strawberry head replied somberly but there was no anger lacing his tone. “We’re all taking it hard, but Yunho… Yunho is taking it the worst.”

The male shifted, misery etched on his features, and the blonde male clenched his jaw and glared at the floor while yells rose into the air behind you.

“If you… if you ever want to talk or know more about what happened…”

I want to be there for you. For Mingi. And this is the only way I can think of doing that right now.

The shorter male sharply inhaled, and his companion was quick to place a steadying hand on his back.

Sniffling loudly, the strawberry-haired Saeni raised a knuckle and bit down on it which made his eyes clearer. “I think that might be good for us, just…”

“Not right now,” you finished for him gently, acknowledging the shit timing.

The male sent you a sad, miniscule smile, and you told them your name and to find you whenever they were ready.

“Thank you, Y/N.” The strawberry head lowered his head slightly as the other male guided him to pivot his feet.

Then they left, and all the sudden it felt like the wind was knocked out you. Your arms went around your middle and your breathing picked up and went uneven as your shoulders heaved. When your throat started to constrict, you briskly pushed through the Saeni to get back to the boys.

Just as your lungs were becoming too tight, the kiela came in sight.

Jin perked up at your arrival. “We were wondering where you we-oh shit.” The male’s dark eyes bugged out at your distraught appearance.

“Y/N?” Jimin hurried to your side and pulled you against his chest.

You were also smothered from behind and the worried noises you heard told you it was none other than Tae sandwiching you. Your head turned to the side, and you saw Hobi’s gaze narrow and flit around as his hands traveled over his front. The white-haired Saeni looked down confused before he sighed and leaned over to whisper in Yoongi’s ear. Whatever he said made the magic user’s face twist. Consequently, Yoongi called Namjoon and Jin over as Jimin and Tae continued trying to calm you down. You felt a little better being held by both of your closest friends, but the entire situation was becoming too much. The memories, the guilt, the hurt, the disappointment. They had been building and building and you felt like they were about to spray out like an over shaken soda bottle any second.

You breathed deeply, trying to screw the cap on over your emotions more securely, when Namjoon trotted over and instructed you to follow him. Both Jimin and Tae unwrapped themselves from you and while the latter switched to holding your hand, your best friend told you to grab onto the back of his shirt. The apricot head began to trail after his leader and other kiela members, safely towing you and Tae through the crowd until you exited the room between the tree trunks. You nearly stumbled at the sudden openness and gasped at how it instantly helped you breathe easier, but the spaciousness also allowed your tears to well up and begin rolling down your cheeks.

Pouting, Tae came close and wiped them away with his sleeves while you clutched at Jimin’s shirt.

I want Kookie.

Tae studied you as he dried your tears. “Does anyone see Kook?” he asked his brothers, as if he could read your mind.

The kiela did a quick three-sixty, looking around the Saei, trees, and visible fires, but nobody spotted the burgundy head. With a tired groan, Yoongi stalked over and nudged Jimin and Tae out of the way so that he could place his hands on your shoulders. The magic user swiftly turned you around and began to steer you through the trees from behind. He guided you down the first path you came across, past countless occupied fires, and under the shade and sunlight until he found an empty fire to his liking. Leading you off the path to where it was warm and out of the smoke, Yoongi pushed down so you were forced to sit. In the next second, Tae situated himself beside you. He stayed silent, just being there for you as you leaned into him and slowly settled down now that you were away from the commotion. Meanwhile, once they were satisfied you were going to be okay, the boys made a loose circle around the fire and started to honor more Saeni.

Several prayers went by and you kept hearing quiet whispering by your head, so you mumbled, “You should go and honor those you need to TaeTae.”

“Don’t you worry about me, little scorja.” His voice contained a smile and he shifted to lightly poke your cheek. “I can honor them all just fine from right here.”

After some time, you got a grip on yourself and the boys finished their prayers. The Saeni rested on the ground and you all listened to the forest and nearby fires. It was an orchestra of buzzing, creaking, snapping, and distant shouting. The symphony went on and on, never ending, until the busy silence was interrupted by someone saying your name in surprise. Jerking your gaze to the path, you saw five young Saeni waving at you.

While you were shocked at the unexpected appearance of your training buddies, Jin grinned and gestured for them to come sit.

“Are you sure?” Soobin asked in an awestruck but unsure tone. “We wouldn’t want to overstep.”

“Just get your asses over here baby BTS Saeni,” Tae called to them.

Shyly, they made their way to the fire and sat down next to each other, as if they were scared to spread out and take up too much room. Jin just laughed and asked how they were doing while Tae purposefully matched over to squat directly in the middle of their safety nest. The younger Saeni jumped at the intrusion but began to relax as Tae and Jin brought the others into the conversation.

“You all remember them, right?” The eldest member of the kiela crossed his arms and scrutinized his brothers. “Little scorja’s friends from the sparring match?”

As Hobi defended his memory, Soobin scooted over to you and flicked your knee to get your attention. “Hey, I saw Jungkook sitting by himself. Is everything okay?”

Despite your pulse spiking at the mention of the male, you whispered back that you didn’t know if everything was okay. You peered down at Jungkook’s dagger, it’s presence on your body light yet undeniable, before focusing back on the chocolate-haired Saeni and asking if he could point you in the direction he had seen the male. Once verifying the general route from his index finger, you thanked Soobin and gently rustled his hair, making the young male complain and yank his head away with a grumpy expression. Suppressing a snort, you stood as all the other males were distracted by their conversations. Observant as ever, though, Yoongi managed to catch the movement but he merely rolled his eyes and faintly shooed you away with his hand while never looking away from the speaking Taehyun.

Besides the delicate shaking of the shrubbery, you quietly made your way back to the path. You shivered in the absence of the warm fire, but you rubbed your arms up and down and set off in the direction Soobin had pointed in. Following the path, you wandered past a few careening Saeni that were slurring and babbling as well as numerous fires with bodies gathered all around the flames. Although Soobin said Jungkook was alone, you still paused long enough to make sure he wasn’t at any of the fires before moving along the path. Plunging further into the trees, the shade was cool on your skin and the breeze left goosebumps where it blew against your open arms and collarbones. You continued to meander down the winding path. You listened to the bugs click and the birds chirp… but for the last minute, all the fires you walked by were deserted and dying out. Any prayers you could hear were distant echoes. There was no one around and you started doubting you were going to find Jungkook. Clenching your hands into fists in frustration, you told yourself just a little further. Just a little more and then you would turn back.

What if he’s at the next fire and I turn back now?

What if he’s just ahead?

What if he’s right around this curve?

Then you saw a fire through the trees that was burning more brightly than any you’d passed in several minutes. Holding your breath, you approached the glowing area with quiet footfalls. Hope surged in your heart, making the muscle pound in your chest, while the shadows and rays of sunlight shifted with the swaying trees.

And through the leaves and branches you saw him.

He was in front of the flames with his back to you and one forearm resting against his propped-up knee. His body was partially covered by the low foliage, but burgundy consumed your vision. It was him. For a moment, you didn’t make any movements. For a moment, you simply looked at him. For a moment, you let your body fill with the ache how much you had missed him. As you took him in, you noticed his fist was against his hip and the hand was constantly tightening and relaxing. It was right where his dagger was usually strapped to his side. Without thinking, your fingers went straight to the sheath at your waist and undid the buckle before your feet moved on their own accord. Almost as soon as your boots were off the path, Jungkook was twisting around at the sound of crunching leaves. Your stomach fluttered as you finally saw his aggravatingly handsome face and the way his peridot eyes brightened at the sight of you.

Neither of you said anything as you walked through the vegetation, but you smiled knowingly and extended the dagger and sheath in your hand out toward him, fully expecting him to flush cutely and rub the back of his neck before reclaiming the weapon and tugging you down onto his lap.

What you didn’t expect was for his eyes to darken angrily and for him to turn to face the crackling fire.

You smile faltered, as did your steps, so you stopped and stared at Jungkook’s back with your arm still outstretched.

“It’s yours. I gave it to you,” Jungkook lowly said and you recoiled at how detached he sounded.

Your arm dropped to your side. Jungkook’s muscles tensed, but his mouth didn’t open again.

Why won’t he look at me? Why does he sound like that?

The breeze picked up, rustling the forest, and you slightly tremored along with the leaves. You felt yourself growing hot with both confusion and frustration, but in the end, you tightly gripped the dagger and marched over to the male.

This isn’t the first time I’ve dealt with asshat Kook. I can handle this. It’ll be okay.

Wordlessly, you sat down next to him and placed the blade on the ground between your bodies. Schooling your face into a normal expression, you folded your hands over your lap but there was nothing you could do to fully hide the shaking of your body. You were startled by his words and actions, especially because you didn’t know why he was being like that, but you ignored it the best you could and glanced at Jungkook whose gaze bore into the blazing embers.

Sighing and spreading your skirt while you crossed your legs to sit more comfortably, you picked up a tiny twig and tossed it into the flames. “So, uh, how’s your back?”

“It’s fine,” he replied bluntly and free of any emotions.

Your brow twitched as you watched the twig warp and blacken. “You know you scared the shit out me then.”

“Yeah well, so did you.” Jungkook’s voice was abruptly soft, so much so that you almost didn’t hear him over the sounds of the forest and the snapping flames.

You looked at the burgundy head again as the already meager conversation came to a standstill. His face was shrouded in both shadows and glowing light… and his expression was completely empty and void. You could see the fire reflecting his hardened gaze, but his green orbs were dim. There was no teasing glint or cocky confidence illuminating them. It made your heart hurt. Why the hell was it like this? What had happened? What should you say?

While playing with the hem of your dress, you swallowed and gingerly spoke up again, “I… I think I’m gonna go back to Earth soon.”

It was something you had been debating over the recent weeks. No matter how much you loved this world, you still had a life back there. You had a family, who currently had no idea where you were or if you were even alive. You had bills and school and obligations and so many things you would have to take care of before you coul-

Jungkook let out a rough scoff but just continued glaring into the fire.

You looked at him with wide eyes. “That’s it?”

That’s his only reaction? A laugh?

“I’m not sure what you’re wanting from me.”

You flinched, a new splinter of pain digging into your chest to cut past your ribcage and gouge into your heart.

Your gaze lowered to your trembling hands. I want you to ask me to stay… Biting your lip, you raised your head to plead with Jungkook’s profile.

But his peridot eyes never shifted over to you and it was suddenly difficult for you to form words.

You grasped at your dress in a poor attempt to stabilize yourself. “I, um-okay.” Your voice was tight. “I’ll leave you alone then since you don’t want me around.”

He didn’t negate you.

Standing up on unsteady legs, you willed yourself not to react as you brushed the earth from your bottom and left the fire.

Don’t react. Stay calm. Don’t react. Stay calm. Don’t react. Don’t react. Don’t react.

But once you got back on the path, your pace became faster and faster and faster until you were hurrying away as fast as you could while your mind fell into disarray.

He doesn’t want me. He doesn’t want me. He doesn’t want me. Did his feelings change? Were they ever real in the first place? Was I just some sort of sick challenge for him?

A stray pebble ricocheted into the forest after being kicked by your foot.

It hurts.

Your hand pressed down over your heart in an attempt to relieve some of the pain.

It hurts so much more than it ever did with Jimin. Your upper body curled in on itself. Why does it hurt so much?

You hardly registered where you were going or what you were walking past. You had no clear destination in mind, you just knew you needed to get away.

But how could you get away from your own heartache?

You couldn’t wrap your head around it. You and Jungkook had been physically apart for weeks, you both had practically hated each other at first even, but this… this moment was the furthest you had ever felt from him. Even when you would be at his throat and vice versa, he would still interact with you. He would talk to you and glare at you and…

Fuck…

It felt like your body was concurrently freezing cold and burning hot, and there was a deep, throbbing pang resonating across your chest. It coiled up into your airway, making you struggle to breathe. It crawled up into your eyes, making them blur and go in and out of focus. Leaves and twigs were suddenly crunching loudly under your boots and you realized you had strayed off the path with your bleary vision. You hiccupped and just kept going. Occasionally tripping over roots and the uneven ground, you plunged deeper in the forest. A small stream eventually appeared by your side and you listened to the lull of flowing water as you followed its bends. The sun was beginning to dip below the tree line, casting a golden light on the world and causing the shadows to grow longer and darker. Your vision slowly cleared, and you sniffled while forcefully wiping at your cheeks. Then the forest opened, and you paused. You knew exactly where you were.

Good job guys. You tenderly patted your legs before walking around the small pond with heavy steps. The light of the setting sun bounced off the pond’s rippling surface, and you admired the beauty of it out of the corner of your eye as you made your way to the willow tree. Gently brushing past the thin, scratchy branches with your hands, you collapsed beneath the tree’s canopy. Your eyes traveled over the pretty floral vine twisting around the trunk before shifting to watch the tree’s elegant limbs move back and forth in the wind. The familiarity of the scene dulled some of the hurt, but you couldn’t help the broken laugh that spilled from your lips.

Weeping willow… how fitting right now.

Beyond the leaves and branches, you could see the darkening blue sky become mixed with a vivid array of colors around the setting sun. You tried to appreciate it, but… it only reminded you of a rainy night on a cliff. The night when Jungkook…

No. Stop. Fuck, I can’t sit here and wallow on memories. I should go back to the boys. Or maybe find Yugyeom and take him up on his offer. No… if anyone is kicking that asshat’s ass it’s me.

The impulse to fight briefly flared in your veins but it died out just as quickly.

I don’t want to kick his ass. I just… want him to…

You harshly pinched yourself, making you hiss through your teeth.

The thin branches lurched in the wind, the water flowed and gurgled, and the sunlight gleamed through the forest, reminding you of golden flecks in perido-

You pinched yourself again and whimpered.

I’ll just keep thinking about him if I’m alone.

What you desperately needed was a comforting distraction, and you knew exactly who could provide that. It might be a little awkward since they were Jungkook’s brothers, but Jimin was your best friend and the other boys were like family now. They would take care of you.

With your decision made, you soaked up the calm ambiance for one final minute before picking yourself up and trudging back to the tree line. Your feet moved more sluggishly; your energy sapped. As your boots practically dragged, you wondered what Yoongi was going to say when he saw you.

I hope he isn’t disappointed. I don’t know if I can handle more of that today.

You sighed and stepped around a sapling to reenter the thick forest. I just want TaeTae cuddles and some of that viitulx. And food. Maybe Jin will be willing to ma-

The loud crack of a branch snapping came from up ahead. You flinched and went on alert as you scanned your surroundings. Inhaling quietly, you reached over your shoulder but froze as you remembered you didn’t have your bow and quiver. You cursed and prayed it was just a branch falling to the ground or an animal on a casual evening stroll. That prayer was instantly revoked as you noticed a figure stumbling through the trees as they followed the stream.

Shit. You panicked, frantically looking around for something to use as a weapon when you finally came to your senses. You weren’t at the field. You weren’t in danger. It wasn’t a draikensu.

Fucking hell, it’s probably just some lost drunk.

Your shoulders slumped and you breathed deeply to try to calm your racing heart. You looked back to the person, contemplating if you should approach them or not when your body stiffened.

Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me…

It was fucking Jeon Jungkook.

The burgundy head was looking down and shuffling through the forest with both his hands up to his head. One of them held his dagger and pressed the weapon against his temple. You gaped at the male, watching his mouth move as if he was mumbling to himself. He was straight ahead of you and coming closer with every passing second but he hadn’t noticed you yet.

It felt as if you were caught in a headlight. You couldn’t bring yourself to move and weren’t sure what you should do.

Jungkook continued nearing and he got close enough that you could hear him groan, “I’m such a fucking idiot. Why did I do that?” He tugged at his hair and lifted his head to look up at the blackening sky… but froze as his gaze locked on to you standing there.

“Y/N?” he whispered, so heartachingly soft, but you ducked your head to avoid his peridot eyes.

You thought maybe you could hide him if you pretended he wasn’t there.

You squeezed your hands into fists and took slow, measured breaths.

“Y/N…” he said your name again, this time closer and more choked up.

Yet, you still didn’t move. Neither to walk away or to look up at him.

You heard him come even closer. He was so near that you could find traces of his scent in the air, but you continued to stay still.

“I fucked up. I hurt you… again.”

You could sense his body right in front of you. Feel his warmth. See his boots almost touching the toes of yours. You didn’t move your head, but you lifted your eyes a bit. You could see his hand gripping the dagger at his side while his other went to reach for you before hesitating and dropping back down.

“I… At first, I was embarrassed,” the male said quietly, “Embarrassed that I got injured when I said nothing would happen, which is so stupid, but I was worried you would think less of me.”

You forced yourself to breathe slowly.

“And then I was healing, and I was so anxious to get back to you, to hold you, to be with you… but then I started thinking of how you only came to Illain for hyung and how you might leave me now that everything was over.”

Your chest tightened and you noticed Jungkook’s hand that was holding the dagger was starting to tremble. Against your better judgement, you steeled yourself and raised your head.

Jungkook’s face was highlighted by the glow of the setting sun, the golden light enveloping him like a halo… but his peridot eyes were burning with panic and shame. His breathing was ragged and his eyebrows were drawn close together. His entire demeanor was meek and small and so unlike him that you almost took a step back.

As you finally looked at him, Jungkook lips pressed together while he made a noise in his throat, and he momentarily flicked his gaze up to the treetops before exhaling heavily. “Every time I thought of you leaving, I could barely breathe. It hurt… it hurt so much and I fucking hated it.” Jungkook’s voice was getting increasingly weak and his eyes glistened with as they lowered to focus on your neck. “But there’s no way I could ask you to leave your entire life on Earth behind, so I thought it might hurt less if I pushed you away before you could just… vanish from my life.” The corner of his mouth twitched into a melancholic ghost of a smile. “Then you said you were going back to Earth and the exact thing I was terrified of was suddenly happening. Next thing I know, I was watching you walk away…”

Your hammering heart was barraged by a swarm of confused and conflicted feelings, and you could only stare at the male while you tried to process through them all.

The leaves rustled all around you, and Jungkook shook his head firmly as his peridot eyes suddenly brightened with determination and he looked straight at you. “I shouldn’t… I know I shouldn’t… but I’m going to be selfish. I have to be. I love you too much to just let you walk away. So please… please stay. Stay in Illain. Stay with me.”

A single sentence blew through your crazed, jumbled emotions like a rifle shot.

I love you too much to just let you walk away.

A rush of heat traveled through your body and your breath hitched. “You love me?”

You heard a gentle thud then Jungkook was cupping your face with both his hands. “I love you. I am in love with you, Y/N. Please stay.”

Your entire body tingled, your face grew warm, and you silently regarded the male for several seconds. The way the tips of his long ears were burning, the way you could feel his body shaking, the way his lips lightly parted as he nervously waited your response.

Slowly, you reached up to encircle one of his wrists in your hand. “Remember how I wanted to tell you something before the battle, but you said to wait?”

He hummed, anxious hope swimming in his eyes.

Tenderly brushing your thumb against his skin, you deeply inhaled then whispered, “I love you Jeon Jungkook.”

The trees shook, the stream burbled, and Jungkook’s hold on your face became stronger so he could pull you in closer.

“Really?” he asked in a small whisper as his eyes searched yours.

You smiled and gave him a tiny nod, making Jungkook immediately wound his arms around you to bury his face in the crook of your neck. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m an idiot for thinking I should try to protect my heart-”

“More of an asshat, actually.” You declared, still smiling as warmth swirled through you.

The male pulled back to glare at you, but it contained a playful heat. “Well, my idiotic heart is entirely yours. Break it, stab it, do whatever you desire with it.”

Shifting forward, you placed a gentle kiss on his chest right over his heart. “I desire to love it.”

“So, you’ll stay?”

You leaned back into him and gripped at his shirt while breathing in that intoxicating scent of his. Humming in content, you whispered you would stay… but that you did also need to go to Earth for a bit to settle some things before permanently moving to a different world.

The ending of your answer made the male whine loudly in your ear and sag most of his weight on you.

Staggering a step, you rolled your eyes and patted Jungkook’s back. “You’re a big boy, you can handle it.”

The Saeni chuckled against your neck before straightening and sending you a cocky smirk. “You know what I bet you can’t handle?”

“If you’re about to say your dick, I’m changing my mi-”

“My love!” he blurted out a little too quickly, a blush spreading across his cheeks. “You can’t handle my love for you.”

You raised at brow at the flushing male that was now pointedly averting his eyes, not believing for one second that “his love” was what he originally intended to say.

While you fondly looked at the male, Jungkook began shifting his gaze from behind you to your face to behind you repeatedly until he asked how you were there. “Did hyung tell you about it?”

Your brows furrowed. You had no idea what he was talking about. “Tell me about what?”

“The pond and… the willow tree.”

You pursed your lips, still not understanding his initial question. “No? I found this place last week while wandering around. It makes me feel safe and calm when I sit under the willo-wait. Why are you here? Did you follow me?... Why are you smiling like that?”

The burgundy-haired Saeni was grinning happily, as if he knew something you didn’t. “Do you remember when Tae hyung did your morning training because I said I had to check on something?”

You tilted your head to the side. How could you forget that morning? It was the day you learned about Tae’s draeva.

“I had to come here.”

“Why? So you could jack off in extremely secluded privacy?”

“I-… no.” The Saeni gave you an exasperated look which soon transformed into an enamored smile and he shifted to lightly touch the mark on your nape, making you shiver lightly. “The willow tree is my draeva.”

You jaw dropped. “Your… draeva…”

Laughing, Jungkook grasped your hand and he excitedly tugged you out of the tree line and back toward the pond and willow tree. “I’ll show you my handprint!” Stunned by the sudden knowledge, you let him pull you along as he pleased. Not that you wouldn’t have gone anyway. “Also, I guess you could say it’s our draeva now…”

You gaped at the area, in disbelief that you had inadvertently found Jungkook’s draeva. The stream continued to flow leisurely. The pond was shimmering with the fading sun and rising moonlight. The willow tree was standing tall and its thin branches were gently swaying. You were so distracted that you ran into Jungkook’s firm back. Letting out a surprised noise, you hastily grabbed his waist so you wouldn’t fall. Huffing, you went to complain to the male for stopping so suddenly, but you noticed he was fixated on the willow tree. Specifically, he was staring at the orange flowers wrapped around its trunk.

“Scorja,” he murmured.

“Hmm?”

“No, the flowers,” he said in wonder, “There are scorja flowers on my draeva, our draeva.”

He swiveled to face you, and you only got a glimpse of the lustful delight on his features before he yanked you close and pressed his lips against yours.

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rattyoakenbitch · 4 years ago

Note

Hello, I love your writing so much that I'm calling the police because of the unlawful amount of talent you have :))

I hope that youre doing well ❤️

I was wondering if I could please get will graham x reader?

✨Prompt✨ ~ one shot please

☄️Details☄️ ~ reader has a bad panic attack and shuts down and holds their breath until they end up losing consciousness.

🌨️Pronouns🌨️ ~ female reader please

🪐 alternate ask just in case you don't feel comfy with writing anxiety/panic attacks🪐 ~ will with sleepy reader who tries to make sure that everyone is happy and works hard for that?

🌌 message🌌 ~ thank you so much and I hope you have a great day ! don't forget that you are amazing and appreciated !

DUDE I LOVE YOU OMG (ok but like i literally squealed out loud 😭😭💔)

thank u so much for this!! u dont know how much i love doing requests. i hope u enjoy this as much as i did!

pairings: will graham x fem reader

warnings: panic attacks, angst, themes of depression, self doubt, passing out, very very very brief mention of suicide, brief mentions of cheating (sorry that's a lot omg). not warnings but theres eventual fluff and aftercare!!!

You sat down on the front porch cross-legged, watching as the sun came up over the hills, emitting an orange glow across the dark blue sky. Usually you'd still be in bed at this hour, but you haven't been able to catch any sleep lately. It's either you sleep all day or not at all.

Of course, not that you really minded. You loved watching the sunrise, the beginning of another day. It seemed so promising and motivating, yet it was bittersweet for you. Because it was another day of what felt like failure.

Another day where you'd rather not be alive.

Not that you were suicidal. Oh, not at all. You could never bring yourself to take a life, especially your own. But you couldn't help but fantasize about how happy everyone would be if you never existed. If you didn't take up so much damn space and waste people's time.

Your heartbeat began to speed up as several thoughts of self doubt and loathing began to fill up your head all at once.

You groaned and buried your face into your knees, covering your ears as if it would make the thoughts go away.

You spent a bit of more time on the porch, lost in your thoughts, barely keeping track of time, when a cold breeze snapped you back to reality.

You weren't wearing much, only a pair of lounge shorts, a sports bra, and one of Will's many flannels.

You grabbed the buttons of your flannel, wrapping it tightly around your figure in an attempt to keep warm. Ultimately you head inside anyways.

Coincidentally, you just caught Will about to leave.

"You're leaving already?"

You raised your brows, watching Will with suspicion.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. Jack called, he wants me in right now."

"He say why?"

"Look, I don't know. I gotta go," Will said, more hurridley this time.

You pursed your lips. "Right. Sorry.."

Before you could say your goodbyes, Will was already out the door. You stood in the center of the room awkwardly, not knowing where to start from here.

You ended up taking the dogs out to walk, who seemed to enjoy it more than you did. Your mind was elsewhere.

As you carried on with your mundane every day tasks, your last interaction with Will stayed in your mind as you overanalyzed every aspect of the conversation.

He didn't even say a proper goodbye.. Or an "I love you".

What if he was getting tired of you? What if he found another woman? Was that why he left so early? Did he have a girl on the side?

All these thoughts ran through your head, and soon enough, you started to analyze your whole relationship with Will.

What did you do? Was he mad? Where did it go wrong? Did it even go wrong? Are you just being crazy? Maybe this is why he wanted to leave. He's already got enough to deal with, why would he want to put up with your problems, now?

This is all your fault.

All your fault.

All.

Your.

Fault.

You felt your breathing started to pick up, as well as your heartbeat. You fell onto your knees on the hardwood floor, digging your fingers into your own hair as you gripped tightly, like you'd lose yourself if you let go.

Your whole body trembled with fear and anxiety, the thoughts never once stopping, only seeming to intensify as your heartbeat got louder in your ears.

So loud, you almost didn't hear the front door open, or your name being called.

"Y/N!"

Your eyes shot up from the floor to Will who rushed by your side, obviously freaked out.

"Y/N, what happened? Are you hurt? Talk to me, baby, please."

Your words seemed to get caught in your throat, the only sound leaving your mouth being faint whimpers and strained cries.

After Will quickly searched for any injuries, he concluded you were having a panic attack.

"Y/N," he put his hand on your chest, "I need you to breathe for me, okay? Breathe."

You shook your head, squeezing your eyes shut. "I can't. Oh, gods. I feel like I'm going to die. Please, I don't want to die."

Will took your hand in his, squeezing it tightly. "I'm right here, Y/N. You're not going to die. You hear me? You'll be okay."

As he continued on assuring you, his voice seemed to become fainter and fainter, as if he was far away.

Your vision became dizzy, your surroundings all a blur. You tried to focus on Will as he spoke to you, desperately trying to calm you down. But his words were completely drowned out by the sound of your panting and beating heart, before it all went black.

Slowly, your eyelids fluttered open. They felt incredibly heavy, but you managed to stay awake.

You were no longer on the floor. Instead, you were wrapped in soft, plush sheets that hugged your exhausted body.

You remembered now. You passed out in Will's arms while you had a panic attack. It only made sense, you thought, considering you hadn't had sleep in days.

Still laying down, you inspected your surroundings, your eyes falling on the curly haired man below you who also laid down, his arms securely wrapped around your lower half.

He must have felt you stirring as he began to wake up as well.

You smiled to yourself as you reached down to tangle your fingers in his curls, massaging his head while doing so.

"Y/N?"

"Hey.." you rasped, your throat raw from hyperventilating.

"How are you feeling?" He didn't give you a chance to reply as he continued. "I thought you may have actually died at first, but when you seemed alright, I took you back to rest here."

"Thank you, Will." You cleared your throat, "Can I get some water, please?"

"Of course. I'll be right back, okay?"

Will leaned in to kiss you on the forehead before heading to the kitchen to get a glass. You sat up when he came back, also noticing he brought a hairbrush as well. He sat behind you while you drank, hugging you, caressing your body gently as if you were made out of glass.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Usually you would decline, but you hesitantly nodded your head.

Will pulled away and ran the hairbrush through your tangled strands of hair as you spoke, gently undoing the knots and being careful not to hurt your scalp.

"I've been overthinking a lot.. About every day life. Who I am. Us.." He let you continue. "I thought you were mad at me this morning and I couldn't let it go.. Then I began to think you were getting tired of me and.." You sighed. "You're such a good man, Will Graham. And you have a lot on your plate. I hated to think I was making your life even more difficult..." You trailed off, awaiting his response.

But he remained silent, he even stopped brushing your hair.

The air felt tense. And you needed to apologize quickly.

"I- I'm sorry you had to deal with that," you whispered. "With me."

"Why are you sorry, my love?" he spoke softly, his voice holding no tone of resent or hate. He embraced you from behind, his chin resting on your shoulder as he whispered into your ears, now and then placing warm kisses on your neck & shoulder. "You've done nothing wrong. You're just as perfect as you were the day I laid eyes on you. You still make me feel the way I did when we first kissed, or when you first told me you loved me." You felt your heart ache at Will's loving words.

"Will.."

"It hurts to see you hurting like this, because I love you, Y/N. Even on days when you don't love yourself."

Will placed a finger under your chin, tilting your face towards him. He watched your face with adoration, his eyes never once leaving your glossy doll-like ones. You felt blush creep up on your cheeks as Will spoke, his hot breath fanning your face. "I always did think you were the most beautiful girl in the world." With that, he leaned in to lock his lips with yours, as if to prove his love for you. And you believed it.

#will graham gifs #will graham fluff #will graham angst #will graham #hannibal nbc #will graham x reader #tw: self loathing #tw: depression #tw: panic attack #fluff #angst #aftercare #will graham is a softie #request #rattyoakenbitch #anon reply #anon request

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ragingbookdragon · 4 years ago

Text

Just A Scratch

Asra x M!Apprentice

Word Count: 1.5K Warnings: Slight Angst

Author’s Note: In this house we stan lip scars because they’re enticing and hot. Enjoy! -Thorne

It had been a long three months for Asra. A long and tiring three months away from the man he loved more than the world itself, and even if he didn’t remember Asra’s love, it still hurt to be away from him. By the time he’d reached the outskirts of Vesuvia, his heart was aching to see his face, to hold him again. And while Asra’s trips were usually to get away from his feelings, though he could never outrun them, even if he ran to the ends of the earth, this time, he’d actually had a legitimate reason for leaving: adventuring to find a book that he had specifically requested of Asra, the Grand Arcane Tome of Elemental Magic.

The tome was huge and bound with thick, sapphire colored leather, and buckled with a silver fastening. Its pages were old and weathered, and Asra could feel the deep ingrained remnants of magic from where it sat in his bag. He worried a bit over giving the book to (Y/N). Not that he was worried that (Y/N) couldn’t handle it, but Asra knew well that magic was the husband of chaos, and every spell had a chance to go awry, all it took was one simple miscalculation and it could blow up in your face. The last thing that Asra wanted was to come home to the shop destroyed and (Y/N) seriously injured. Or worse dead, again.

He shook the dark thoughts from his mind as he entered the Marketplace of the Center City district. It was a familiar sight that relaxed him from the distressing feelings he’d conflicted himself with, and took a moment to look around, eyes falling on Selasi’s bakery. The intoxicating scent of fresh pumpkin bread reached him, and his stomach gave an obnoxiously loud gurgle. His cheeks flushed as he started to glance around, hoping no one heard it, but before he could make a move, a wriggling lavender serpent popped out of his shirt.

Hungry!

Asra chuckled and reached up, scratching underneath the snake’s chin. “I bet you’re hungry too, huh Faust?”

Want a fuzzy rat!

He laughed again and headed for Selasi’s shop. “Well, knowing (Y/N), he’s probably caught one and has it waiting for you.”

Excited to see friend!

Asra had barely made it within ten feet of Selasi’s bakery when the baker himself stepped out and waved, a grin growing on his face.

“Asra! You’re back!”

He waved in return. “Just got back into town actually. (Y/N)’s book took longer to track down than I thought it would.” He pulled out his coin purse. “Can I get two loaves? I’d like to surprise him when I get home.”

Something flashed in Selasi’s expression. “About (Y/N)…”

Asra’s heart dropped to his feet, fingers numbing on the spot as his voice raised just a bit from concern. “Is he okay?” he asked, taking a step forward. “Did something happen while I was gone?”

He was almost downright hysterical and Selasi gestured with his hands for Asra to relax. “Calm down, Asra,” he advised, explaining, “It’s nothing serious, but a couple days ago, he stopped a few hooligans from extorting me.” He smiled. “Saved my life, if I’m honest.”

Asra’s brows furrowed. “What happened?”

“Oh, fickle thing,” Selasi waved off. “Every now and then we’ll get a few ‘visitors’ from Goldgrave who think they can bully the lot of us around.” He gave Asra a knowing look. “You know how it is.”

“And (Y/N)?”

“Oh, right! Well, he was here delivering some supplies I had from the docks. Told him he didn’t have to, but you know how he is, always looking out for everyone.” Asra’s heart swelled, knowing (Y/N)’s heart of gold all too well.

“Well, he was leaving when the three of them came in, demanding coin and goods. The ringleader had a knife.” He sighed. “I was just going to hand it over, no sense making a fuss, but (Y/N), bless him, stepped in and told them they needed to leave.”

While (Y/N) was always there to help someone in need, he hadn’t put himself in harms way since before he di—since before Asra left. While he was the same person he’d always been when he came back, quiet, reserved, and always kind, Asra had noticed that he walked away from trouble when he could, only involving himself if he had no choice. So, to hear that (Y/N) willingly put himself between a knife-wielding ruffian and an innocent civilian, was surprising, but not unexpected.

“What happened when he told them to leave?” Asra inquired.

Selasi inhaled and started fixing two loaves to go. “They started laughing and mocking him, asking him what he was going to do about it. The ringleader waved the knife in his face, but (Y/N) didn’t even flinch, he just said, ‘Get out or I’ll make you.’.” He looked at Asra. “I’ve never seen (Y/N) look so serious in all the time I’ve known him.”

Handing over the packaged bread, he added, “They all tried to take him on, but he held his own and sent them packing. Didn’t even use his magic either! Just took ‘em on barehanded! Got banged up a bit, but he was okay afterwards.” Selasi smiled at Asra. “(Y/N)’s a fine young man.”

Asra let go of a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding and took the bread, returning it with coin. “That he is,” he answered softly and nodded before making his way down the street just a little faster.

***

He frowned as his eyes flit between the little box in front of him and the list in his hand. His fingers trailed over every little bottle, mumbling the names as he went down the line.

Two bottles of Sphinx’s Extract, four pinches of Fairy Wing Dust, seven Daydream Blossoms, one pinch of Mound Bindweed, two vials of Werewolf Blood, eight Aromatic Belladonna bulbs, two stalks of Goldho—

The little bell above the door rang, and though his back was to the door, he tipped his head, calling, “Give me just a moment to finish this order and I’ll be right with you!”

A familiar chuckle made his heart thump. “I’m gone for three months and an order takes priority over me, (Y/N)?”

He spun around, a smile crossing his lips as he caught sight of Asra, and Faust sticking out of his shirt. Just as fast as the grin had come across his face, it dropped and he let out a hiss, bringing a hand up to his mouth. Asra set down his bag and the wrapped loaves on the counter, hurrying over. He raised his hands to (Y/N)’s face, worry etched into his expression.

“Are you alright?” he worried, and (Y/N) lowered his hands, nodding with a frown.

“Yeah, just a little scratch.”

He let Asra take his face in his hands and gently examine him. “It looks a little more than just a scratch.” Before (Y/N) could say anything, he added, “This must be what Selasi was talking about.”

“You know about that?” (Y/N) doubted, disbelief in his tone.

Asra snorted. “Please, the entire market is talking about it.” He ran his thumb softly over the scabbing cut that went through the left side of (Y/N)’s top lip. Something flickered in his eyes as he met (Y/N)’s gaze. “Did it hurt?”

He shrugged. “Meh, didn’t even notice I was really injured until Selasi was frantically throwing a towel at me and yelling for a doctor.”

Asra huffed a laugh. “Lemme heal it—”

“Wait!” (Y/N) recoiled from his grasp as if he’d been burned and covered his mouth. It took everything that Asra had in him to not let the pain show. For a moment they stared at one another, not really knowing how to follow through.

It pained him to speak, but Asra did, barely holding it together. “(Y/N)?” He responded, but Asra didn’t catch it. “What did you say?”

Sighing, (Y/N) lowered his hand and mumbled, “I want it to scar.”

Asra’s brows furrowed, and he questioned, “What? Why?”

(Y/N) cleared his throat and shifted on his feet as the heat climbed up his neck and ears. “I want it to scar because it’ll make me look rugged and handsome.” He finished quickly, cheeks hot to the touch and turned around.

“Anyway, I have to finish this up. You should go and unpack. I’ll have dinner ready soon.”

Asra watched him for a moment, a fond smile coming across his lips as he moved back to his bag and gathered it in his arms. He passed (Y/N) who was going between the list and box again, but a closer inspection told Asra that he was so embarrassed that he wasn’t really doing much of anything.

As he reached the steps and took the first one, a devious though crossed his mind. He turned and called, “(Y/N)?”

Looking up, he caught mirthful eyes. “Mhm?”

Asra smirked. “It does make you look rugged and handsome.”

#asra x reader #asra x reader imagines #asra x reader imagine #asra imagines #asra imagine #asra #asra alnazar #asra the arcana #asra x mc #asra x apprentice #asra x apprentice imagines #asra x apprentice imagine #the arcana #the arcana imagines #the arcana imagine #arcana #arcana imagines #arcana imagine

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nxrthmizu · 3 years ago

Text

disappearing trick — SaguKai

━━━━━━━

fandom | magic kaito

pairing | kuroba kaito x hakuba saguru

genre | angst to fluff :3

w.c | 2.1k

━━━━━━━

It was a heist went wrong.

So, so wrong.

There were explosions and gunshots, all of which Hakuba was about 99.99% sure wasn’t in KID’s itinerary of the night. He remembered catching a glimpse of a torn white cape, the grimace of pain clear as day despite the lack of helicopters overhead, and men dressed in black.

“KID—!” Hakuba had yelled, which, looking back, was not the smartest thing he could’ve done. The barrels of two guns instantaneously locked on him, much to the phantom thief’s horror.

It seemed like it was the end for Hakuba Saguru.

But of course, KID always loved to meddle in things that didn’t involve him. And so he did what he always did best.

KID was a performer, after all. He specialised in attracting his audience’s attention to him. Flashing a cocky smirk towards Hakuba’s direction, even though there was a stream of blood trickling down his cheek, the phantom thief disappeared into the night with a loud bang, taking the two men with him.

Kuroba Kaito was ‘kidnapped’ the same night.

According to Aoko, who had been in the Nakamouri house when the teen was attacked, there had been a loud crash, gunshots, and yelling. The girl had hid under the kitchen counter in fright, hoping and praying with all her heart that Kaito hadn’t been home at the time of the break-in.

As it turned out, he was.

The crime scene investigators turned Kuroba’s house upside down, finding multiple signs that the teen boy had been shot, if the splatters of blood (That all had Kaito’s DNA) was any indication. It was also concluded by the investigators that Kaito put up a hell of a fight, as there were signs of his magic tricks all through the house.

Hakuba was still being treated for shock at the heist location when Detective Nakamouri received a call from his devastated, hysterical daughter, who sobbed so loudly through the phone that the blonde detective overheard.

It was only one disaster after another.

For once, Hakuba chose to stay out of the crime scene, instead stroking Aoko’s back as comfortingly as he could, trying not to think about Kaito’s body, abandoned in some dark alley dumpster. His coat was soaked through with splotches of her tears, but he didn’t care much, because he himself felt like crying, too.

━━━━━━━

School the next day was eerily quiet. Practically everyone had heard of Kaito’s kidnapping, and if they didn’t, Aoko’s swollen eyes were a dead giveaway that something had happened to the playful teen. The teacher kept glancing up, as if she was waiting for an interruption, only to flick her eyes onto the empty seat at the corner of the classroom. The topic lingered like a dark cloud above the classroom, and no one dared to even mention the name ‘Kaito’ when Aoko was within hearing distance.

“He’s alive.”

Hakuba glanced up after a few moments of silence, realising that Akako was talking to him. “What?”

“Kuroba.” Akako continued impatiently. “He’s alive.”

The blonde detective couldn’t help but snort. “And how did you come to that conclusion? Did your crystal ball tell you that?”

Judging by the glare the female shot in his direction, she didn’t appreciate his snark, but Hakuba just couldn’t be bothered at the moment. “He won’t go down this easily.” Akako stated, as if she’d seen Kaito alive with her own two eyes. Granted, the image hadn’t exactly been clear when she used her seer powers on him, but she could go as far as saying that the magician was still breathing.

“Look. He was shot.” Hakuba interrupted emotionlessly. “Even if the gunshot wasn’t fatal, he’s lost a lot of blood.”

“He won’t go out that easily. You’ll see.”

━━━━━━━

Kuroba Kaito was pronounced dead after three months. KID went back into retirement— At least, that’s what the KID division announced after no sight of any heist in the horizon.

After a long consideration, Hakuba decided to leave Japan behind— Along with the memories of KID and Kaito— And return to Britain. Some would call him cowardly, and he would admit, yes, it was cowardly of him to run away like that, but as far as he was concerned, he didn’t care what others thought of him.

Sure, Aoko was a little upset, but Akako had reassured her that she wasn’t going anywhere. He did feel a little bad for leaving Nakamouri behind— All her friends were disappearing, one by one, after all—

Disappearing.

That was KID’s— Kaito’s last trick, Hakuba thought tearily, hastily ushering the tears away as he packed the last of his clothes into the luggage bag. A disappearing trick gone wrong— And the phantom thief KID, Kuroba Kaito— Two sides of the same coin— Dropped off the surface of the planet, never to be heard from again.

But there was no point in crying over spilled milk anymore.

“Saguru-kun, there’s a man looking for you outside.” His housekeeper knocked on the door, informing him monotonously. “He said he has a few things to tell you before you leave Japan.”

A quick peer out of the window gave him a glimpse of dark brown hair— A familiar stature and height, a relaxed pose—

Hakuba had never dashed out of his room that fast in his entire life. All composure and calamity was forgotten as he practically barrelled down the stairs, narrowly missing a few boxes of belongings he had wrapped up the days prior. The door burst open with a tremendous bang! as Hakuba hurried down the front steps of his house, hoping, praying, pleading that the face that he would meet belonged to—

“Kudou-kun?” The tone of disappointment couldn’t be avoided as Hakuba remembered just how alike the detective and the magician looked. If he was asked, the two were definitely genetically related at some degree or another. “How may I help you today?” His tone was terribly strained; he had had expectations, and he had been let down.

Kudou Shinichi, as the great detective that rivalled many others, took quick note of Hakuba’s inner turmoil. “Hakuba-kun. I have news that you might want to... Think about before you leave Japan.”

“Go on.” Hakuba said bitterly. Nothing could stop him from leaving Japan, he thought. Not when every corner reminded him of the man that kept him on his feet.

“Kuroba Kaito is very much alive.” Kudou said casually, with no prior preparation or whatsoever. Hakuba looked as if he was just hit by a freight train, stunned and dazed by the words that destroyed everything he knew about life. “He’s been staying undercover to help the FBI take down the Black Organisation, who, as if seems, was after Pandora as well. Because he’s been missing for three months, its’ going to be very hard for him to explain his absence— So he has requested for me to pass you this letter in his stead.”

The thoughts running through Saguru’s head as the slim letter was received into his head were wild. Kaito was alive? He was involved with the FBI? What was the Black Organisation— And forget the Black Organisation, what the hell was Pandora? And why couldn’t Kaito have passed him the letter himself?

“Well, I’m going to get going.” Kudou smiled gently. “See you around, Hakuba-kun.”

━━━━━━━

It seems like your detective skills have mellowed since my absence, Hakubastard. Your observational ability is... Mediocre, to say the least. Anyway, I suppose I should provide you with an explanation (Although I would love to go world-hopping and leave you in pursuit of the truth for the rest of your life), but I guess I owe you this much after just upping and leaving like that. Those gun wounds hurt like hell, but they weren’t going to nuff this magician up that easily. I still had a couple tricks up my sleeve— It was nice seeing you all worried about me, though! So you do care~

Anyway, its still not too safe for me to appear publicly in Japan. I’ve sent a letter to Aoko, so don’t worry about filling her in. I left the meeting location in your bedroom. Exactly a month from now. Better set a reminder on that pocket watch of yours, tantei.

With love malice,

Kuroba Kaito

“My bedroom...?” Hakuba murmured to himself, realisation striking like a flash of lightning. A quick inspection of his room turned out with a slip of yellow paper: Rivals shall meet once more, in the romantic city people adore; When the clock strikes a quarter and by the Seine shop corner.

Saguru rushed over to his bedroom window, eyes flicking up and down the nearby streets to find Kudou Shinichi’s silhouette, but he came up empty handed— For that wasn’t Kudou Shinichi at all... Because who else would break into his bedroom just to leave a riddle?

It didn’t take long for Hakuba to figure out the time, date, and location— Kudou— No, Kaito had said so himself. Exactly a month from then— In the ‘romantic city people adore’— Which would be Paris— ‘clock strikes a quarter’— At a quarter of a day, which would be 6am— And by the ‘Seine shop corner’— So at a coffee shop next to River Seine.

“Baa-san!” Saguru called out into the manor, a smile on his face. “Cancel my flight ticket and book one to Paris instead.”

━━━━━━━

Paris at 6am was quite the pretty sight. The sun was barely rising over the horizon, little splays of light shimmying over the river surface, bathing Paris in a fine, gold threads of sunshine. Not that many cafes were open at the crack of dawn, which made it even easier for Saguru to track down his cafe.

The little coffee shop by the Seine provided an amazing view as Saguru enjoyed his morning coffee. He had taken a seat outside the cafe, the streets silent in a peaceful, docile manner, early birds already leaving their nests for the worms that were promised.

The latte in his hands felt warm, inducing heat into his frozen fingers. Hakuba had never felt that on edge in his entire life— Would Kaito show up?

“Lovely morning, no?” An old man commented, plopping into the seat opposite Saguru. “I love watching the sunrise from here.”

Hakuba raised an eyebrow, looking for details of a disguise. The fat seemed genuine— The voice was deep and velvety, a little rough and raspy around the edges— The wrinkles around the eyes looked authentic— But he had seen the quality of KID’s work, and he wasn’t taking his chances.

“Indeed,” Saguru agreed with a pleasant hum, French rolling off his tongue smoothly. “Say, mister, what do you think about magic tricks?”

“Ah, I think they’re quite quaint.” The old man replied in his deep voice, eyes forming crescent lines as he smiled. “What do you think of them, young man?”

Saguru placed his latte back onto the cup. “I think magic tricks are nice,” He started softly, making firm eye contact with the old man, French rolling off his tongue smoothly. “But I hate disappearing tricks the most.”

“Oh?” The old man was confused, clearly missing the memo. “Why so—?”

“Good morning, sir, can I take your order?” A voice pricked into Hakuba’s memory, triggering some sort of mechanism. It was the same tone, frequency, wavelength— The only thing different was the dialect and accent.

Saguru looked up right into Kaito’s violet eyes, the latter dressed in a waiter’s uniform. A soft smile spread over the magician’s lips as he winked, Hakuba’s jaw dropping as his gaze returned to the man in front of him.

“Ah, a cappuccino please. And one slice of carrot cake.”

“Of course.” Kaito nodded pleasantly. “Right away, sir. And you?”

Hakuba took longer to find his voice than he would’ve liked. “Just a cup of black coffee, please.”

“Is that all?” Kaito hummed, scribbling down the orders on a piece of paper.

“Yes, thank you.”

Hakuba laid back against the chair, a sigh slipping from his lips as he smiled continuing his conversation with the old man, who was still very much confused.

“Ah, but I find disappearing tricks interesting,” The old man commented, chuckling slightly. “It’s always so magical when the reappearance happens, no?”

The blonde detective hummed, watching the dark-haired magician busy himself inside the shop. “I suppose I’ll have to agree with that.”

━━━━━━━

this thing has been sitting in my drafts for four months and its time for it to see the light of day~

#magic kaito #kuroba kaito #kaitou KID #kaitou 1412 #hakuba suguru #kuroba kaito x hakuba saguru #sagukai #fluff #angst #magic kaito angst #magic kaito fluff #[ris writes]—✧

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seostudios · 4 years ago

Text

extraordinary

SEOSTUDIOS HALLOWEEN SPECIAL

synopsis. after the king went missing, y/n embarks on a journey to save her father from the kingdom's greatest secret, the fallen prince, who has locked him in his mother’s castle. trading herself in for her father's release, she soon realizes the supposed blood-sucking creature is just an arrogant prince and makes her mission to draw the cold-hearted boy out of his isolation.

pairing. kim doyoung x fem!reader

genre. romance, fantasy, angst, smut

info. prince!doyoung, vampire!doyoung, princess!reader, beauty-and-the-beast!au (with a twist), non-idol!au, medieval!au, prince!ex!jaehyun, brother!jaemin

warnings. mentions of blood and arranged marriage, alcohol, explicit language, unprotected sex, bondage, a really bad sex scene ugh

wc. 5.2k

an. hi happy halloween! i promised ‘angel’ for my halloween special but i feel like wizards were boring for halloween (no hate) but a beauty and the beast au with a vampire twist sounded sexy.. so i hope you enjoyed this romance au there a smut scene but i’m not proud since i have to pee rlly badly and wrote this in a rush (LOL) i hope the cover tricked u! it’s supposed to give a ‘blank’ theme... yk anyways ill try writing more tysm bye i love you all think of this as a halloween special + 700 special mwhamwah

The long curtain that draped over your bay windows had the same orange hue to the morning light, every morning a perfect sunrise. Reminding you of the sleepless nights spent just to get a view of the sun as it illuminated the blue as if it were igniting the most miraculous flame. Throwing the large duvet that once covered your canvas, you quietly tip-toe out of your shared bedroom with fiance and future king, Jaehyun, not trying to wake him yet.

By the time you're finished looking presentable to the outside world, you make your way down towards the kitchen. There was only a week before the wedding, so the castle was a little hectic. Seeing the tailor and his assistance run in an out the front gates, the chefs coming from far and wide to bake you the most flavoursome cake out there. The wedding was a big deal. I mean between merging kingdoms and scoring the most eligible bachelor in the land... It was huge! Jaehyun was known in his kingdom for his selfless actions, but elsewhere, it was his dashing looks. Although he still hasn't managed to swoop in and steal your heart, you had no choice but to let him believe he did so for the sake of your future.

"Princess!" The chef Johnny calls. He noticed you wandering out of your suite after using the restroom and just had to get some small talk done and possibly put in a good word for his close friend about to seal the deal with you. "Oh! Hey Johnny," You greet, flashing him a toothy grin. "It's almost the big day..." He exclaimed. Wow, he seems more excited than me, you think to yourself. "Right. I'm nervous," You confess, your frown now replacing the award-winning smile. Which didn't go unnoticed by Johnny. His eyes, which were once trained on you, shoot up to look behind your shoulder. "Speak of the devil!" He shouted, shooting you a couple glances before running over to Jaehyun, who has just woken up.

Now at the dining table, you and Jaehyun sit accompanied by his parents. "So, Y/N" His mother starts in attempts to spark a conversation. You shot your head up to listen in on what she has to say, "Did you know Jaehyun has an older brother? Doyoung." Silence. You all sat in an awkward stillness, glances between Jaehyun and his father, worried. "No, I didn't. Is he coming to breakfast?" Her cheerful demeanour was quick to shapeshift into a dejected expression. "He moved to Paris to expand his corporation." The hidden truth was that he didn't move at all. He was banished. This tall tale is told all over the lands, but it was just a tall tale about the prince, was it not?

Once upon a time, there lived a dashing prince. His name was Doyoung. Despite having all the money and power in the kingdom, it still felt like there was nothing left for him there if he still lingered in his younger brother's shadow. So the prince ventured off, hoping to find someone who'd appreciate him for himself. That's when he met the great sorcerer, Minyeon, known by only the wicked. She was a sly witch, moving only on the outskirts of the lands. Aching to pounce on any punk in the vicinity. Therefore when she noticed the prince and came to realize his selfish needs, she casts a spell. "You're stuck like this until you find peace eternally. Is being a greedy spoilt brat all you need to be a prince? Maybe you should be more like Jaehyun." Those were her last words before disappearing into the woods. Doyoung quickly ran back home. Calling every wizard in town to inspect him. He was now cursed to live life as a blood-sucking monster unless he finds this peace. "You know we can't." His mother started. Doyoung's heart tore, hearing the crack in her voice. "I... I know Mother. I'll be quick." He said before finished packing the briefcase full of necessities. "I have a castle." She spits out, handing him a map. "Stay there. I will visit as much as I can," And it was the truth. She visited for the first few months until he started to change. The violent evil nature of a pure vampire, taking its place in Doyoung. That was no longer her son, and she couldn't risk venturing far to walk right into her death.

And that was Doyoung’s story.

It's been about three years since the incident, and villagers still ponder on whether it's fiction or not, but with the heartbreaking look on Jaehyun's mother's face this morning, I think you got your answer. Acknowledging the elephant in the room, you and your future mother-in-law finish up and head into the fitting room with the tailor, leaving Jaehyun with his father. "He knows-" Jaehyun started, quickly being cut off by his father. "That's why we limited guests on such short notice and doubled the guards. He won't be able to get in." He affirmed before the sound of the chair screeching slowly, and someone sitting was heard. The two look down towards the end of the table. "I won't be able to what?" Doyoung said, throwing his feet on the table.

死

"I really do think you look magnificent." The designer, Taeyong, chirped adjusting your corset. "Taeyong honey, don't you think that's a little tight? Y/N looks like she's turning blue." Jaehyun's mother jokes. Ever since you've departed from the boys at breakfast, she's been jumpy. Was she expecting someone? "Alright, here we go! Go take a look, princess." Nodding, you make your way to the large mirror. "Oh my! I love it! Thank you so much!" Doing a little twirl, as Jaehyun's mother cheers, showering you in compliments.

“So.. Y/N darling... How are things with Jaehyun?” She asked helping you undress after Taeyong exited. “What do you mean?” You asked curious, what could she mean? “You know this isn’t exactly a love marriage...” She hears a sigh from you. “I mean I like him!” Making sure you let her know that first, you turn away from the mirror to face her, “But not like that, he’s a good friend... Nothing more.” The confession left the still room feel like a ghost town. Jaehyun’s mother hands you a heartwarming smile, assuring you it’s okay. “You know, I think you’d be fit with my eldest son, Doyoung.” Smiling to herself she takes a loose strand of hair and places it behind your hair. “A-Are the rumo-” She nods. They were true, he really was a vampire. “May I ask where he is? Do you visit? How is he? Does he look like the vampires from the books?” All your questions erupt at once, causing her to burst into a fit of laughter. “Well where do I start?!” She says more to herself. “He’s in a castle, past the river banks and through the woods. Safe, hopefully. He’s also quite charming-”

A knock at the door, grabs both of your attention. "Come in," You said, but something was off. An uneasy feeling turns in the pit of your stomach as the doorknob unwinds to reveal Jaehyun. "You can't be in here! Shoo!" His mother scolded, but Jaehyun raised his hand to silence her. "Y/N, your father."

“He’s what?!” You shout. “Been abducted? By who? He’s on everyone’s good side.” You state clearly. “It’s not his fault. It’s our fault.” He confessed, looking down at the marble tiles of the hushed room. “My brother, Doyoung. Took him.” A gasp is heard from his mother as her hand goes to rest on her chest to feel her heart. “Is Doyoung here?!” She asked. He shook his head. “He showed up and told Dad and I the news but left afterwards. He told me to pass the news over to you.” Jaehyun began to massage his temples, this was really getting to him. “He wants you to meet him at his castle to - discuss - your father's return to his kingdom.” And in a blink of an eye you were gone. Jaehyun’s mother didn’t give you exact directions but you could find out where his castle is. “What are you doing!? Stop her!!” His mother cries, “She doesn’t know what she’s heading into!” Before she was able to run out to you, Jaehyun stops her in her tracks. “This is not our battle, Mother.”

Running into your barn, You mounted Ivy, about to venture off possibly to your death. You were determined though, no matter what; you need your father back. Not for you but for the sake of your kingdom. “Come on girl, we’re gonna save Papa.” Ivy was originally a horse for the knights but it seemed like the two of you had more of a sibling bond than you and your younger brother, Jaemin... Not that you guys hated each other! The river banks were a easy to trot by, the boat passengers and fishers greeting you, and the woods wasn’t as dark and ominous as Jaehyun’s mom put it to sound like.

There you were. Past the river banks, through the woods and you were led to the front gates of Doyoung’s castle. The castle was more ancient than any bone left in soil. The stone pathway pitted and scarred, looking up you notice it's tall walls, trees surrounded the castle. The large pillars, narrow, round towers dominate the skyline of this massive castle and are connected by enormous, firm walls made of cobblestone. Spooky was an understatement. You dismount Ivy and tie her loosely to an old log. “Stay here girl, I’ll be back with Papa.” Pushing the rusted gates open you throw your cloak over top your head and run towards the large wooden doors. Letting yourself in you examine the large foyer of the castle, it was much smaller than yours back home but the presence it held was bigger than any king to have walked the lands. Your breathing is rapid and shallow, you can feel your pulse pounding in your temples as you cautiously walked up the steps. "Doyoung?" You call out. A muscle twitches involuntarily at the corner of your right eye, after seeing a shadow swiftly move. He knows you're here. "I'm not scared of you." You spoke tenderly, moreso to convince yourself you weren't. Looking down the narrow hallway someone stands, before you were able to walk towards the figure he heads into a door. Now on a wild goose chase after Doyoung you reach a grand hall full of chambers, a dungeon. “Let me out you bastard!” An infuriated voice shouts. It’s your father. “Papa?! Where are you?” You cry running around the zigzag chamber. “Y/N? Over here Y/N!” He shouts once more, why were you here?

There he was, there they were. Your father was on his knees, gripping the bars calling out for you, but beside him standing tall, he was a slender and well built man with pretty, unturned lip. His pale skin sparkled in the moonlight, his dark eyes matching the night sky above perfectly. Doyoung. Although your heart picked up at his astonishing facial features, you were enraged on why he would abduct your poor father. “Let him go at once!” You demand. He kisses his teeth and dangles a pair of keys above your head. “Only if you stay.”

“I’ll be fine Papa.” You assure your father at the front gates of the castle. “Take Ivy and head home. I’ll be okay.” You embrace him once more, “But the wedding?!” Your eyebrows furrow. “It’s cancelled, why don’t you get Jaemin to merge with Jaehyun’s little sister, she just came of age and she’s arriving from Thailand tomorrow.” And thus the decision was made. You were now a resident at Doyoung’s, and your wedding was cancelled.

Sitting on the last step of the spiral staircase you watch Doyoung pace around the foyer, speaking to someone in a room. Didn’t he live alone? Getting up to explore the castle you were stopped by Doyoung, he’s quick on his toes. “Let me bring you to your room.” He said, his hand reaching out to you. Charming Slapping his hand you walk past him up the stairs towards whatever room you would make out to be your own. He trails behind you, “Feisty, I-” “I was talking to your mother about you earlier. I’m not dumb, I know it all.” Your began, opening a room door. “I want this room.” You demand, even if you showed him your stubborn side a little, it was fine. He did kidnap your father. Doyoung hums “Okay. Dinner in five” He chimed, before heading back down. The rest of the night was nothing out of the ordinary, other than the awkward glances to one another at dinner. In attempts of sparking something between the two of you Doyoung asks, “Did you enjoy dinner?” At the door frame of your bedroom. “Yeah,” All was well until you saw him begin to unbutton his dress shirt and head into the closet. “W-What do you think are you doing?” You asked frightened. Why was he undressing in your new bedroom. “Getting ready for bed?” “But don’t you have your own room?” You inquire confused. “You picked my room, so we share.” He replied. There were at least over a dozen bedrooms in this castle and you just had to pick his. “No take backs by the way, now get in bed love.” Kissing your teeth you throw on a pair of pyjamas you found in the closet; assuming it was his. Moving to the side of the bed to make a wall of pillows separating the two of you.

死

“It’s been over three months Doyoung.” This was one of those rare occasions you spoke at dinner. “And?” He questions. “I want to go home.” You stood your ground, it’s been over three months, nearing four and it’s safe to say this dinner was the most you’ve both communicated. “You are home,” He replies, taking a bite of his food. “No, it’s not. I sit in this castle reading books and talking to myself, I’m going mad!” You bark. “You traded yourself in for your fathers release, I can’t let you leave.” He always spoke softly but his words never failed to slice through you.

Doyoung enters his bedroom, while you were downstairs cleaning up. He reaches into the back of his closet, sliding the clothes on the rack to the side, to reveal a mirror. It wasn’t an ordinary mirror, it was a magic mirror, to help Doyoung communicate with his mother without putting herself in danger. “I thought this was the peace I needed to come back.” He said to himself looking at his reflection. “Peace? This isn’t peace Doyoung.” A voice hollered throughout the still room as the mirror illuminated. “I know it isn’t mother, I can’t seem to find it. I’m trying.” The tension grew thick, he was frustrated. “Find peace in her.” She finally said. Just then, the mirror shatters. “Doyoung?” Your soft voice calls from the closet door. His head spins around as he readjusts the clothing. “What time is it?” He questioned, flaring with energy. “About fifteen minutes to eight, why?” This is where you start growing nervous. Although he’s kept to himself you know he yearned for human blood. “Let’s explore.” He grabs ahold of your hand running down to the front yard. “Wear this.” Handing you a coat he intertwines your hands as the two of you exit the premises.

“Why are you being so weird?!” You roar demanding answers. “I want our friendship to blossom my love.” He spoke, a pang of guilt hitting him. Your cheeks suddenly kissed pink like the spring rose, the blooming colour so bright against your face. Looking forward,avoiding eye contact with Doyoung you tug his hand forward into the wilderness. “On my way here I remember seeing a bench surround with an ethereal setting.” You babble on the way to the destination. “Really? Would love to see it.” Doyoung replied uninterested. This didn’t go unnoticed by you so letting go of his hand you walk ahead. He catches up but doesn’t grab ahold of your hand. “I apologize.” He said, earning a scoff. “I really am, I’m all ears now.” The pleads went on until you reached the bench where you sat down and pulled out a book. “What’s that?” He asked. “A sketch book.” You reply, opening the book to reveal you artwork. “Whoa, Y/N these are amazing.” Astonished he grabs it out of you hand to flip through them, earning a rather adorable giggle from you, which did indeed cause a crack in Doyoung’s ice cold heart.

Your stay increased and the liking you had towards Doyoung has as well. Now there is never a dull moment at dinner, a new routine of late night walks. In all honesty, Doyoung hasn’t been the slightest interested in you up until last night. “Doie! Look at this, I drew you!” You cheer running over to the boy in his study. “Let’s take a look.” He stood in front of you, his eyes that told stories words couldn't, staring into your shiny orbs, piercing through you. He couldn’t help it, with your collar bones exposed with the large tee swallowing you whole.. You looked appetizing. So when his hand came in contact with your nape, leaning down, his mouth hovering over your neck, about to indulge he hears a whimper. “Doyoung..” He looks up to your frightened figure. However, you weren’t scared of him sucking a little blood out of you, just nervous of how close you were. “Doyoung. It’s okay...” You whispered your doe eyes staring right back at him. But he couldn’t, “I’m not a monster.”

These days Doyoung felt vulnerable around you. The once inhuman arrogant cursed prince acting as like another man. His crave and lust for blood sank and he desired something else, something more attainable at his end now; love. Though his love for you blossomed quickly he was insecure and full of doubt when it comes to confessing. The world seems to be on his side when the two love birds are together, fooling around, but once the tension grew his courage flees the scene. Weeks turned into months with this unbearable love for you; he no longer lusts for your friendship, he needs more.

You sat on the edge of the king sized bed, gazing out the bay window that peered into the land. Stars shining over top the night sky, appearing like magic at each sunset. Sipping onto the last bit of hot chocolate in your mug you change into a silk night dress Doyoung has purchased for you, since he thought you should have a new wardrobe now that you live with him. Back hitting against the soft mattress you wrap yourself in the thick duvet, closing your eyes to think.

My friendship with Doyoung has really come far these past few nights. Just the other night he cooked me breakfast in bed, which was really thoughtful of him. His egoistic personality fading into a tenderhearted man. Under all the layers from his saddening past, becoming a monster from the storybooks, to his prince status. He was a normal guy. I know he wants to flee this wretched castle and run back home, though he fears what he capable of. How he could hurt his people, or worse, his family. The sinister persona taking over him that cut his bond from Jaehyun. Oh But past all this is a man... You love.

The door creaks and you noticed a disheveled Doyoung enter the room. Must have been up in the study racing his minds to wonder, you believe. “Hey you.” You chirp, to sit up on the bed unknowingly a strap falls from your shoulder exposing your collarbone. “Hello Y/N.” The reply was dry and nonchalant about. But all worries ended when he hops into the bed curling up into himself gathering warmth. You don’t know why but your heart skipped a beat when you glanced over at him, catching his stare up at you. You huff playfully before relaxing into the sheets. The two of you could’ve easily split rooms and been on your way but there was an urge for you to stay in his suite. Maybe it was the thirst to find out who he really was, and why his path was this rough... Or it was because ever since you met at the chambers, your heart always raced around him; no matter the occasion. The room was quiet, sitting in a comfortable silence, both of you awake. Should you tell him? Is this too quick? Were you ready? The questions spring around your mind for a couple seconds before being interrupted by a pleasant surprise.

Doyoung’s hand makes it’s way to reach yours. The ice-cold finger tips, tracing over your hand. Skinship wasn’t rare but it was never making you consider he felt the same way. Intertwining your hands you turn to face him, to notice he was already looking at you. He wants to confess, he will confess. His mouth opens to speak, but quickly silenced with a pair of soft lips crashing onto him. Knowing his difficulty with words, actions seemed to have spoken better than them. His lips were warm and the taste of bourbon stung your tongue gracefully. Doyoung moves his hands from yours to rest on the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him. You two break apart for air, hesitantly looking at one another. Though his eyes told multiple stories, all you felt as of now was lust and desire. Giving yourself up to him, or how people back home would say; popping the cherry. Lips crash together and it felt like you were walking on air. The way your lips connected with his, molding together like they belonged, his mouth was so warm compared to the rest of him. The small tug onto your lips erupting a quiet moan is what gets him started.

死

You awoke to arms barricading around you, keeping your bare body close. The morning light shining through the closed blinds creating a funky pattern on the duvet. Your hands drawing funny little shapes on Doyoung's bare chest. Last night sure was hectic, he's got a lot of stamina for someone who claimed to be tired. Doyoung lets out a whine, “So bright in here..” He groans, covering his face. It took a minute to register what was going on and why you were naked and in his arms, but relaxed when he follows up on what went down last night. He could freely express his love physically and verbally. “Oh my god, I love you.” He says ecstatic. You mumble ‘I love you too’ to him before he goes on yapping, “Mother was right.” He whispers, “She was right. You’re my peace. My key to a happy life.” A soft smile dances on your lips after hearing those words, he truly did love you... But because his mother told him so? “Your mother?” You inquire, but he’s quick to reply. “She told me to find peace in you; at first I doubting her sanity because you were quite annoying-” “Hey!” You slap his chest, however he defends himself. “But I can’t live without your chitter chatter now.” He expressed.

Doyoung combs his hair, you cleansing beside him. “You got tanner honey.” You say pinching his skin lightly. “I did?” His doe eyes looking into the mirror at his skin. Then panic arose, “Quick Y/N! Fetch me some blood.” He says while you blankly stare back at him. “You don’t have any blood.” He grabs your wrist. The veins visible. “I.. I don’t want blood.” A sardonic laugh escapes. “I have an idea” He said patting your head lovingly. What could he have in mind? You hum, signaling him to continue as you dry off. “Let’s get married.” If you saw yourself right now you probably would’ve been convinced that your jaw was touching the ground. Nonetheless, life is a risk. Why not? “Okay.” You replied, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. The once feared blood sucking monster, was now back to being an ordinary prince. “I heard my father didn’t let our poor little sister get married..” He whispers into your lips. “Two weddings have been cancelled, let’s help them out.” Grabbing your hand he leads you towards the east end of his castle. You never ventured out there, quite creepy if I do say so myself. Digging into an old box he pulls out an off the shoulder wedding gown with embroidery on her bodice. Rhinestones and pearl beads were sewn on the gown. "It's beautiful," You gasp in awe. "It was my mother's gown. I want you to wear it now." He said handing it over. “Bring it in hand, let’s get ready there. Our big day is tomorrow isn’t it?” He smirks, taking you in hand to walk down to the foyer. “I called someone for us.” “You did?” Just then, you two hear the neigh of a horse (or two) in the distance approaching. A carriage arrived on time to bring you two home. “I can’t believe we’re going home.” You start. “Does this mean we’re gonna stay there because I’d rather not actually.” The confession was vague but Doyoung knew where you were getting at. The privacy was amazing, and hearing the sound of birds in the early morning instead of villagers was a blessing. “Me too.” He replied, helping you on top of the carriage.

And off you go.

Once you arrived you were surprised people recognized you, and the prince himself. Whispers and rumours already begun and you’ve barely made it through the main city. “There it is, our chapel.” You joke, pointing towards the castle, earning a little laugh from him. He was no longer a vampire, and it frightened you, was getting you to fall in love with him just to go back to normal his only goal? Or was he truly head over heels for you as you were for him. Many of actions reminded you of how he loved you. “Whoa did you see that? They just let us slip by..” He whispers to you after seeing the guards let you pass by happily. “It’s cause we live here,” You replied all giddy over his childish antics when it came to being home, he was thrilled. He quickly rushed towards the the throne room knowing his parents would be there and you rushed behind after setting the suitcases. “Mother! Father! I’ve come home!” He shouts in the still room. Gasps heard from various maids and guards. “I-I’ve found peace...” He pants. “Peace?” His father questioned, his mother correcting him, “He found love.” Doyoung shares a smile before walking up to the throne, “I’ve been gone for quite awhile, haven’t I?” He snickers before embracing his parents. “Brother?” A voice hollered through the room, follow by whispers. He turned to see his loving siblings. “Jaehyun...” Running towards him his smile fades. “I’m sorry,” The apology was wholehearted, from what Jaehyun knew; Doyoung was a loving brother. But all was false, back then he was a selfish beast, not caring once of who he hurt. Now, he was back and came work up from his mistakes. Jaehyun pulls his elder brother into a hug, as he sobbed quietly into his shoulder.

The door opens to reveal a princess; you. “You all know Y/N.” Doyoung says, grabbing your hand. At first, you don’t realize Jaehyun there, but he makes himself known. “Yes, I was engaged to her not long ago.” Shivers ran down your spine, how could he be so cold and straightforward. Did he actually love you? The straight brooding face quickly curved into a grin, flashing his dimples. “I’m joking. You two actually look like your in love, Y/N and I looked like brothers.” Laughter erupts within the room everyone catching onto the joke one by one before silencing. Doyoung clears his throat “I will be marrying Princess Y/N and merging our kingdoms into one.” It was nice to see his father smile, it was rare. This was good news and it seems like all is working out for the two of you. “Very well, how does next week sound?” He said, watching you two nod eagerly.

死

It’s been three hours since your vows have been exchanged, and you are now rocking a stone as large as your pupil on your wedding finger, while slowly being undressed by your husband. “Why is this thing so hard to take off,” He complained right as he gets the hang of it. Your lips molding with one another in perfect harmony. It's a slow process you want to enjoy, but most of all you want to pleasure your new husband. A gasp escapes your mouth feeling Doyoung gently lifts his hands up to palm your clothed core, the gentle rubbing before going underneath the thin material to your glistening folds. He hushed your with kiss going down your torso, til he reached right above your core. In a blink of an eye, you see yourself nude and legs sprawled out with Doyoung’s face between your legs. Licking a stripe between your folds, sucking gently on your clit. “So wet...” He murmurs under his breath, before diving in. If you thought your first time with Doyoung was hectic, you’re in for it tonight. Now hands tied behind your back by your own wedding veil you stuff your head into the pillow, screaming his name. “Oh my god! Oh my god! R-Right there! Harder!” You cry, curling your toes ass he thrusts into your core. Your hair bunched up into Doyoung’s fist, keeping you two steady as he penetrates into you. Coming close to your orgasm you arch your back in anticipation; this doesn’t go unnoticed. Doyoung comes forth, hot breath and groans loud and clear in your ear. Reaching down he finds your bud and rubs harshly onto it, feeling you clench around his length. A squeal leaves your mouth, “I’m cumming!” You cried, digging your face in the pillow. Just when you felt yourself relaxing into the pillow, you feel a hot liquid coat your pink walls and Doyoung pulling out

死

The sound of the kids playing rings in the background as you sip on a cup of coffee your husband, Doyoung brewed earlier this morning. He comes to sit beside you on the abandoned bench in the forest, memories flooding off our many escapes to this very bench as kids. His hand reaches to caress your pregnant belly. “Number three.” He said playfully as you slap his hand away, “His name is Taehyun, not Number three.” He chuckles, “A beautiful name from his beautiful mother.” Doyoung says, gently raking his fingers through your long locks of hair. “I love you so much,” He whispers, bringing his hand to your cheek before kissing the top of your nose. “I love you too I guess,” You shrug, covering your grin with the book you held. “Youjin and Minhyun are still in the garden, shall we go in...” His eyes trail the vicinity, before catching your kids who were sitting in a field of flowers. “Min! Jin! Me and your mother are going to head inside for a snack! Stay close!” He shouts over the kids who just send him a thumbs up. Eagerly, Doyoung stood up grabbing your hand pulling you gently towards the castle. “What a child,” You mumble before heading in.

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