#anyway I have great love for my rebel girls and their parents. they all deserved better smh

[naivesilver]

RIGHT. hello again. I am once again in your inbox :) how about 'would you stop with the worry - flurry?' or 'i care cause it’s not fair!' or 'oh , sweetie , what’s wrong?' from the EAH ask for Cedar? 🥰

HI I AM VERY LATE but. You know. Gretel duty called AHSKDGASKHDKGNADSC thank you, I hope you'll be able to forgive me 💗💗💗 also, I did try to come up with some ACTUAL EAH content, but the urge was too strong, so have a little Uncle Wick and Baby Cedar snippet again LMAO

Ever After High Quote Starters

"Oh, sweetie, what’s wrong?"

People made of wood can't cry, so Cedar really isn't crying, no siree.

What she is doing, instead, is kicking the underside of her bed with her foot, so the thumping noise will drown the yelling coming from downstairs. She hasn't been very successful thus far - her father and grandfather are louder even than the obnoxious clacking of wood against wood, and keep getting worse as they go - but Cedar is determined to continue, if only for lack of anything better to do; she can't get tired, and she's scared of what might happen if she leaves the room, so kicking it is, for now.

Besides, she feels kind of safe, laying on the floor under the bed, as though she were being kept in a neat little box. There'll be some dust flakes clinging to her hair when she crawls out, maybe, but it's not like she gets allergies, and no one will think to look for her there, not until they've calmed down a bit.

Or at least, that's what she thought. The creaking of the door opening makes her freeze, her leg dropping as the two men's row gets louder for a moment before it's shut out again - Cedar would hold her breath if she had any, but as it is, she can only wait, wide-eyed, as a pair of legs approach the bed heavily and kneel down to check underneath.

That's when Uncle Wick's thin, long face pops into view, smiling broadly at her. "Hello, pretty girl. Mind if I join you?"

"No." It's the truth. Of course it's the truth. Cedar is always happy to see Uncle Wick. It's just that she wishes it were Dad instead, because it would mean that the fight is over and she can leave her hiding spot for good.

Still, Grandfather says she shouldn't look a gifted Pegasus in the mouth, so she simply watches as her father's best friend lays on his back and wriggles to fir next to her - he's fairy tall, Uncle Wick, which means his long legs are probably poking out from under the bed in a very silly way, but Cedar isn't really in the mood for laughing, right now. She reprises her kicking, instead, eyes fixed stubbornly on the bed-frame.

A hand comes up to rub at her head, mussing her curly hair. "What's wrong, sweetpea? They shout at you too?"

"No. They just said I should go to my room." Which is much, much worse, in her opinion. "But they're talking 'bout Raven. Raven is my friend. Why can't I listen too?"

"I don't know, kiddo. They told me to get out too." Uncle Wick sighs heavily, his voice growing wistful.

"Look, they're gonna tire themselves out at some point, okay? That's how it always goes. No clue what old Milton told them, but they can't be mad at him forever."

The problem is, Cedar isn't so sure they're mad at Headmaster Grimm and not, say, each other. She wasn't allowed to hear much of what they were saying, but she caught enough to worry - Raven's name came up, and her mother's, and something Grandfather had done, and then off she was, pressing her hands against her ears in an useless attempt to ignore them all.

She's supposed to go to this headmaster's school with Raven when she's older, so she can follow her destiny and become a real girl. Are they going to quarrel so loudly, too, when it's time? Is that why she was sent away, so they don't start fighting too soon? It doesn't make sense.

And what does the Evil Queen have to do with it, anyway? She's dead. Cedar and Raven were supposed to be playing in the workshop while their fathers talked about what would happen after, but they got distracted enough, what with all those somber, whispering adults. "Nothing bad's happened to Raven, right?"

"Course not, Cedar. She's doing just fine. Bet you can go visit her during the weekend, if you ask your dad."

That's something, at least. And yet, the relief is short-lived, for a moment later Pinocchio's voice raises even louder and angrier, so different from his customary soft tones. "Listen, I don't know what Grimm asked you to do, but don't tell me it's something good, because I won't hexing believe you, Father-"

Cedar shifts her position subtly, curling around the man's arm with an ear pressed against the sleeve of his jacket. "Can you tell me a story, Uncle Wick?"

"Sure." Uncle Wick sounds like he's smiling. Cedar is grateful for it, even though he must only be doing it to be brave, to keep her calm and distracted - maybe his voice will succeed where her foot failed, droning on and on until she can't hear anything else anymore. "Once upon a time, there was a very clever wooden girl-"

Cedar finds herself smiling back a bit, despite herself. She appreciates the effort, she really does, even if he's being silly. "That's not right. You always say the same thing."

"Yeah, 'cause all the stories I like to tell are true. Anyway, where was I- Once upon a time, there was a beautiful wooden girl, and she was the cleverest girl in all the realm..."

[foster-the-world]

Such different ideas

I follow Rebecca of Fosterhood on Twitter. I assume I am not the only one who remembers her? She was the single foster mom who adopted two girls very close in age from foster care. When I was looking into foster care I was pretty obsessed with her post. One of the adoptions took seven years and it sounds like their agency was especially terrible/invasive. Although she didn’t always come off great in all of her stories but who does??

Anyway they are on a fancy vacation in the Cayman Islands. She posted a picture of them sitting on a terrace eating a fancy breakfast. She said something about how she would worry about spoiling them but because they are foster to adopt kids they deserve a soft life. Interesting concept but nothing I’ve ever thought. I know her older daughter was more traumatized by foster care because she had visits and uncertainity for seven years. My kids were both three when adopted. They never had to deal with any uncertainties. Foster care was annoying for us as parents but not hard on my kids day to day life. Anyway maybe that’s the difference.

I do worry about spoiling my children - they have things I could never have dreamed of as a kid. Our financial situation is better then my parents so that trickles down to the kids. I love traveling so my kids have done more trips then a vast majority of adults. I travel hack and we prioritize over other things but still can only do it because we are very privileged. We have decided the benefits of travel out weigh the downsides of “spoiling” them. We’ve actively avoided the schools where the student population is very well off because they are never diverse but also because we want economic diversity. And again privileged to have another public school option. We don’t want our kids to think everyone is rich and white/asian - which is a nyc problem because the economic disparity is so high. So we worry about spoiling them and in some ways do but its unrelated to their adoption status. I would never think well it’s okay if Bee/baby boy gets something fancy but not Rebel.

We totally acknowledge the loss of adoption. That loss is multiplied when you are adopted outside of your culture. We will do what we can (therapy, relationships with bio family, living in diverse areas) to help them through those things. And also I think recognize there is no “getting through” such a big loss. Our kids can have wonderful lives and still always have to live with what it means to lose your birth parents. They will have to grapple with that and decide what it means to them. That’s not something a fancy vacation is going to make up for. Obviously Fosterhood wasn’t implying it would but still didnt sit right with me. I also don’t think of my adopted kids as victims that deserve repayment. It’s something they will have to deal with but everyone has something they have to work with. The loss that comes with adoption is a big one, no doubt, but they aren’t the only ones who have to deal with big loss. Anyway guess I’m just grappling myself with balancing recognizing my children’s loss without making it define them. In the end I mostly know it has nothing to do with what I think. As they grow they will decide what being adopted means to them and we will follow their lead.

[mintchochipkookie]

For the character ask i was wondering is you could do toph for all the emojis please

Hi Anon, thanks for this ask, I had a lot of fun with it! Hopefully my answers don't suck lol

⚧- she/her/hers

🏳️‍⚧️- cis

🏳️‍🌈- straight I think. I don’t think about sexuality hcs a ton, but she is canonically attracted to men, so I guess anything on the spectrum that includes attraction to men works

🌌- I think she’s definitely an earth sign, and not just because she’s an earthbender, but that’s also what her personality is like. I’m leaning a little bit more towards Capricorn rn.

🧠- I’m thinking an IxTx type, but even then I think she’s only slightly more Thinking than Feeling. ISTJ might be the best fit, but it’s not perfect either.

❤️- Kantoph LOL

🧡- that’s...pretty much it, ope. Anyone who’s been here a while knows I don’t really ship things hahah

💛- the whole gaang! Katoph, Toko, Tokka, Taang, Toph/Iroh, Toph/anyone&everyone give her all the love she deserves!!!!!

💚- romantic!Toko is the closest I get to a nOTP for her

💙- 🤷🏽‍♀️

💜- I think this question just means a friendship with a character from another piece of media right? So! I realised that a lot of my favourite female characters are the “same person different font” as @twinkle-toph says. Sun Bak from Sense8, Sae-byeok from Squid Game, and Toph from ATLA. I would just love to hang out with all 3 of them at the same time, I think that would be interesting hahah There are definitely more characters I’d like to see her interact with, but this was the first thing that came to mind

📖- eh, I'd probably enjoy watching her in literally any universe and setting so go wild besties

❤️‍🩹- I answered this a few months ago over here for @thebluesunflower44 but here it is again!

💖- the gaang just loves her so much and she gets her field trip with Zuko and they make it an annual thing and she and Katara meet up as much as they can and her friends just really really care for and support her constantly. She travels around a lot and they always drop by the Earth Kingdom too, just so they can meet each other! IT’S WHAT SHE DESERVES 💚

😋- so I do have this hc that Toph and Suki actually end up becoming really good friends at some point and they are extremely chaotic together. I came up with this thing for @su-univeralai once, so here ya go!

🥖- I think she definitely likes to eat, she just naturally has a big appetite and she really enjoys good food. She also has a v refined palette because of her upbringing. When she was younger she probably tried to pretend otherwise and deliberately avoided fancy foods and stuff, as a sign of rebelling against her parents and all that good complicated shit, but as she gets older she embraces it and realises that she can enjoy gorging on street food while also really enjoying a super fancy meal.

🛌- ahh yes, I headcanon that she’s a cuddler! If she’s sleeping with her friends or a partner, she absolutely cuddles with them. Again, initially she pretended that she wasn’t because she was scared of letting her walls down, but what she doesn’t know is that at nights while traveling with the gaang she would roll over in her sleep and hug Katara anyway, which made the older girl smile. She’s also probably the little spoon when she finally trusts her partner completely. If she’s sleeping alone, she surrounds herself with pillows and plushies and holds onto those. She likes to be able to feel something.

🏡- while I haven’t watched LoK and never plan on it either, I do know a bit of what they did with Toph and made her a bad mother and all and to that I say...no <3 rip to Br*ke but I actually personally know Toph and she’s super empathetic and given that she had a shitty upbringing herself, she would actually be a really great parent! She also has a loving partner (Kanto) to help raise their kids and doesn’t do it all alone. And even if she did, she would be great at it FIGHT ME

🗡- like. She exists. That’s about the most badass thing there is. Okay fine, I think she would also start an academy or something for young girls and children, to teach them self defence, self-confidence, and just provide a safe space in general in case they need one from their shitty parents. @placedhands also suggested that she runs it with Katara (and Kanto lmao) and if you’re wondering about the logistics of that, shhhhhh. Maybe SWT Ambassador Katara also helps get funding for it from Fire Lord Zuko or something, who knows!

❓- She occasionally earthbends rocks at Aang’s head because he never apologised for yelling at her in The Desert <3

Send me a character ask

[cursebreaker-lilith]

HC List #4-Wands

Wand HC’s! Mostly focused on the wood since there’s more variety than with the cores.

Also if you have any suggestions for Ismelda, Skye, or Murphy please tell me, because I don’t have their characterizations down as well and I’m not 100% sold on my choices for them!

Rowan

Hornbeam “with a single, pure passion, which some might call obsession (though I prefer the term ‘vision’), which will almost always be realised.”   Unicorn hair

I had a lot of trouble with Rowan. I considered, duh, rowan wood, and I believe the former head writer said Rowan had a rowan wand, but I think hornbeam fits. Rowan has a clear ‘vision’ and goals with which to get it, so it seems fitting.

Ben

Black walnut “If the witch or wizard is unable or unwilling to be honest with themselves or others, the wand often fails to perform adequately and must be matched with a new owner if it is to regain its former prowess. Paired with a sincere, self-aware owner, however, it becomes one of the most loyal and impressive wands of all, with a particular flair in all kinds of charmwork.” Phoenix feather

This is sort of inspired by someone who had done a wand wood post then deleted it :’) Anyways, there’s the good at charms bit (Ben’s specialty) but also it just fits Ben’s narrative. He is not someone honest with himself and that affects how he lives his life hugely, so a wand that reflects this problem makes sense. Then a phoenix feather core, because again, Ben’s problem is he has a lot of talent but is held back by himself. If he were to shake off his fears, i think itd be a good match .

Penny

Alder ��not stubborn or obstinate, but often helpful, considerate and most likeable.” “whence comes its reputation for being suitable only for the most advanced witches and wizards.” Unicorn hair

Saw the first quote and was immediately like Penny! Then saw the second quote and knew it was Penny’s wand wood. Unicorn because she’s pure .

Merula

Red oak “You will often hear the ignorant say that red oak is an infallible sign of its owner’s hot temper. In fact, the true match for a red oak wand is possessed of unusually fast reactions, making it a perfect duelling wand.” Dragon heartstring

She fits that first part. hot temper, a good dueler, fast reactions, all very Merula. And she pairs it with dragon heartstring for extra power and ease to do darker spells.

Bill

Poplar “‘If you seek integrity, search first among the poplars,’ was a great maxim of my grandfather, Gerbold Ollivander, and my own experience of poplar wands and their owners tallies exactly with his. Here is a wand to rely upon, of consistency, strength and uniform power, always happiest when working with a witch or wizard of clear moral vision.” Dragon heartstring

It’s like Penny, I saw the description and immediately went Bill! Literally everything about that description fits Bill very well. Dragon heartstring, as its considered to do more powerful spells. As for some hc’s, I feel he’s one of the few Weasley’s to get his own wand just because he’s the oldest so he kind of gets everything new.

Tulip

Dogwood “Dogwood wands are quirky and mischievous; they have playful natures and insist upon partners who can provide them with scope for excitement and fun.” “when paired with a suitably clever and ingenious witch or wizard, can produce dazzling enchantments.” Dragon heartstring

I wavered between giving dogwood to Tonks and sycamore to Tulip but in the end I put dogwood for Tulip because I saw “clever and ingenious” and immediately thought of Tulip over Tonks (not that Tonks isn’t clever, but Tulip is more proud of her cleverness). Plus I thought of a wand much more known for mischief would delight her in rebelling against her parents. (I know the former head writer said her wand is meant to be cherry wood and a hand me down from her grandmother, but I like Tulip having her own wand. Fits with her sense of independence better.)

Tonks

Sycamore “The sycamore makes a questing wand, eager for new experience and losing brilliance if engaged in mundane activities.” “As may be deduced, the sycamore’s ideal owner is curious, vital and adventurous,” Unicorn hair

Like with Tulip above, both could fit either girl, but certain words made me choose these woods. for Tonks, it was the use of “curious” and “adventure.” Tulip rebels to break rules, but Tonks just likes fun and adventure, so this felt a better fit.

Barnaby

English oak “A wand for good times and bad, this is a friend as loyal as the wizard who deserves it. Wands of English oak demand partners of strength, courage and fidelity. Less well-known is the propensity for owners of English oak wands to have powerful intuition, and, often, an affinity with the magic of the natural world, with the creatures and plants that are necessary to wizardkind for both magic and pleasure.” Dragon heartstring

Another one where I instantly put the wood to a character. With perhaps the exception of the “intuition” bit, every part just screams Barnaby. Loyal? Yes. Strong? Yup. Courageous? Deffo. Loyal again? Mhm. Affinity for natural world? Totally. And dragon heartstring for extra power.

Ismelda

Yew “Yew wands are among the rarer kinds, and their ideal matches are likewise unusual, and occasionally notorious. The wand of yew is reputed to endow its possessor with the power of life and death, which might, of course, be said of all wands; and yet yew retains a particularly dark and fearsome reputation in the spheres of duelling and all curses.” Unicorn hair

I had a lot of trouble with Ismelda. This probably isn’t what i’ll settle on tbh but it’s good enough. It’s sort of like her. Has a dark reputation but is much lighter on the inside.

Charlie

Ash “Those witches and wizards best suited to ash wands are not, in my experience, lightly swayed from their beliefs or purposes. However, the brash or over-confident witch or wizard, who often insists on trying wands of this prestigious wood, will be disappointed by its effects. The ideal owner may be stubborn, and will certainly be courageous, but never crass or arrogant.” Unicorn hair

Charlie does have a canon wand for this period, which is Ron’s wand. Probably coincidentally, but the ash tree description fits him well, so I do like to think that the second wand he gets after he graduates was also ash. And a hc note, I like to think the wand Ron had was also a hand me down to Charlie. No way that wand got that bad in only 7 years, even if Charlie is a bit rough and tumble. Plus if it was a personal wand, why would he give it away? So, yea, he graduated, got enough money for a new wand and Ron received his old one.

Andre

Spruce “The spruce wand requires a firm hand, because it often appears to have its own ideas about what magic it ought to be called upon to produce. However, when a spruce wand meets its match – which, in my experience, is a bold spell-caster with a good sense of humour – it becomes a superb helper, intensely loyal to their owners and capable of producing particularly flamboyant and dramatic effects.” Unicorn hair

I had a hard time with Andre, but this called to me best with him. I thought adjectives like ‘bold’ ‘good sense of humour’ ‘flamboyant’ all fit well with him.

Jae

Redwood “redwood wands are not themselves lucky, but are strongly attracted to witches and wizards who already possess the admirable ability to fall on their feet, to make the right choice, to snatch advantage from catastrophe.” Dragon heartstring

I struggled a lot with Jae unable to decide if I wanted him to have Redwood or Fir. He always had dragon heartstring, but I couldn’t decide on a wood type. I liked them for pretty much the same reason in that both have an emphasis on coming out on top despite the odds which I think fits Jae. Anyways, I eventually picked redwood because I just liked the description in regards to Jae better aha.

Badeea

Walnut “Highly intelligent witches and wizards ought to be offered a walnut wand for trial first, because in nine cases out of ten, the two will find in each other their ideal mate. Walnut wands are often found in the hands of magical innovators and inventors; this is a handsome wood possessed of unusual versatility and adaptability.” Unicorn hair

I had another one originally, but “innovators and inventors” just fits Badeea much better than what I originally had. Not much else to say.

Liz

Apple “They are powerful and best suited to an owner of high aims and ideals, as this wood mixes poorly with Dark magic. It is said that the possessor of an apple wand will be well-loved and long-lived, and I have often noticed that customers of great personal charm find their perfect match in an applewood wand. An unusual ability to converse with other magical beings in their native tongues is often found among apple wand owners” Unicorn hair

One I took from that post mentioned above as I was rather stuck on Liz. But I do feel it fits. Liz is a Slytherin but is against the idea that Slytherin = dark, so that bit fits, plus she’s all about the magical beings and I wouldn’t be surprised if she was good at speaking mermish and such.

Diego

Red oak ”In fact, the true match for a red oak wand is possessed of unusually fast reactions, making it a perfect duelling wand. Less common than English oak, I have found that its ideal master is light of touch, quick-witted and adaptable, often the creator of distinctive, trademark spells, and a good man or woman to have beside one in a fight. Red oak wands are, in my opinion, among the most handsome.” Unicorn hair

So this is the same as Merula, but I feel he fits the second half of the description while she fits the first. A dueler, quick witted, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a distinctive spell, and I’m sure he agrees that his wand is as handsome as him. He however has a unicorn core as hes much lighter and nicer than Merula.

Talbott

Chestnut “The wand of chestnut is attracted to witches and wizards who are skilled tamers of magical beasts, those who possess great gifts in Herbology, and those who are natural fliers.” Phoenix feather

There was another I considered entirely bc it had like “mysterious loner” in it, but honestly this one sentence screamed Talbott to me. Like, he’s mentioned being great at comc, loves herbology and is one of the best in the class, and I would definitely say he’s a natural flier lol Now with chestnut wands, they change a lot depending on the core. But the description mentions only unicorn hair and dragon heartstring alongside specific descriptions, while the one above is standalone. So I’m assuming its meant to go with phoenix feather, which I would’ve given him anyways. Bird core for a bird boy.

Chiara

Willow “Willow is an uncommon wand wood with healing power, and I have noted that the ideal owner for a willow wand often has some (usually unwarranted) insecurity, however well they may try and hide it.”  Dragon heartstring 

It took me a while to decide between willow or hawthorn, both of which mentioned healing and insecruties. Eventually I decided on willow entirely because it’s a paler wood and fits her whole silvery aesthetic.

Bea

Fir “There is no doubt that this wood, coming as it does from the most resilient of trees, produces wands that demand staying power and strength of purpose in their true owners, and that they are poor tools in the hands of the changeable and indecisive.” Phoenix feather

While Bea has a big change, I wouldn’t call her changeable considering she’s sticking with her new style and outlook. And I would call her a survivor. Poor girl’s survived a lot already and she’s only 12. : (((

Skye

Spruce “which produces wands that are ill-matched with cautious or nervous natures, and become positively dangerous in fumbling fingers. The spruce wand requires a firm hand, because it often appears to have its own ideas about what magic it ought to be called upon to produce.” Dragon heartstring

I used this for Andre, but I feel it fits Skye too. She’s very brash and confident (or appears that way) so I feel she would have that firm hand needed.

Murphy

Ebony ”Ebony is happiest in the hand of those with the courage to be themselves. Frequently non-conformist, highly individual or comfortable with the status of outsider” Unicorn hair

Murphy is very open about how he is who he is, so even though he isn’t an outsider, I feel he has that “courage to be themselves” bit down.

Orion

Beech “The true match for a beech wand will be, if young, wise beyond his or her years, and if full-grown, rich in understanding and experience. Beech wands perform very weakly for the narrow-minded and intolerant.” Unicorn hair

Yet another one where I read one sentence and was like oh that’s them. 

[peaceoutofthepieces]

Sink Or Swim

tag list: @cleocc @feeling-kinda-so-so @hopelessromanticvirgo @dreamy-slytherin @adora8 @lockerfivethreefive @painfully-oblivious @poeticinemaa @jjustonemorething @sassy-sara @wedarkacademia @coolguyssyndrome @hischbabe @suckerforsobbe @tayspots @starmansander @theah0lt @zoenneforever @invisibleme @chibibanane @odi-et-amo85 @watermelonlover-123

~^~

Wednesday, 17:47

Song: Troye Sivan - for him.

“This technically wasn’t fair, because I’ve only been here a month and I had no idea if somewhere like this even existed, so you can’t judge me too harshly.”

Jens is already smiling at him, shaking his head as he bumps their shoulders together. “It’s okay. It’s hard to live up to such a perfect first date, I get it.”

Lucas huffs, but he can’t help quickly glancing around. He isn’t sure why it worries him quite so much—even if they were overheard, it can be brushed off as a joke. Jens had said it jokingly. It would be easy enough.

There is no one close enough to hear them, anyway. Not a single person, as far as Lucas can see, is paying any attention to them at all. The rather cluttered place makes it easier, creating an odd sense of privacy even with the crowd along with the strangely intimate ambience of the neon blue lights. Lucas doesn’t feel so scrutinized in this setting, where everyone is having their own fun and doing their own thing.

“Can that be considered a first date when neither of us thought it was?” Lucas questions, both dubious and hopeful.

Jens shrugs, glancing around them as well as he walks slowly side by side with Lucas. “It can be. But an arcade is also a cool first date. It’s not what I expected.”

Lucas’s lips twitch, unsure which way to turn as he looks over at him. “What did you expect?”

“I don’t know. Snuck back into your room, maybe. Some more alone time.” Jens wiggles his brows.

Lucas snorts and gives him a light shove, smiling when Jens bounces right back to his side. “That’s up to you. Like I said, I don’t know anywhere. And it was short notice.”

Jens nods, and the conversation lulls as they stop at the change machine, before Lucas begins to get nervous for a whole new reason.

“Are you disappointed?” He twists his ring—the one he’d stolen from his father’s room, just for this occasion—around his finger as Jens turns to look at him. He’s frowning, and even though Lucas is pretty sure it’s at the question itself, he can’t help but grow more jittery. There’s a sudden, uncomfortable tightness in his chest. In an attempt to make light of the question, he adds, exaggeratedly, “Did you expect to be romanced?”

Jens rolls his eyes as he fishes his money out of his pocket, but there appears to be a more reddish tinge to his cheeks. “I thought you might be the romantic type. Maybe that you’d cook us a candle-lit dinner or something.”

Lucas raises a brow. “Serious?”

His nerves have turned into surprise, and it must show in his expression, as Jens laughs upon glancing at him. “I didn’t say that’s what I wanted, though.”

“Well to be fair, I probably could manage a burger and chips. I’m guessing that’s the dinner you’d want.”

Jens turns to him after feeding his notes into the machine and wipes away a fake tear. “You already know me so well.”

Lucas hums. “I also know there’s a cafe that offers such a delicacy right down the street.”

“You, sir,” Jens points at him, bright-eyed, “know the way to my heart.”

Lucas huffs a laugh and Jens collects his change from where it has clattered into the metal pocket. His fears haven’t been curbed, but he doesn’t want to press further and ruin the experience before it has even begun. He’d thought about a handful of other options. Taking Jens to a cafe or a coffee shop, booking them into the back corner of the cinema, retreating back to his room as Jens suggested. Every idea seemed too bland or too much. He didn’t want to force them into conversation across a table. He also didn’t want to feel like he was having to hide Jens away. This had seemed, somehow, like a safe middle ground.

He’s a little worried now that he has misjudged.

“Shut down whatever’s going on in there.” Jens snaps his fingers lightly in front of his face and Lucas drags himself back to the surface. Jens’s gaze is soft with a tint of concern. Lucas’s stomach roils. “I don’t know why you chose it exactly, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a great choice. In fact it’s a fucking amazing idea.”

Some of the tension seeps out of Lucas at the conviction in Jens’s tone, and he’s left with a slight smile. “Yeah?”

“Luc, it wouldn’t have mattered to me what we do. It’s a chance to be with you. I don’t care about anything else.”

Lucas feels a flush creep into his cheeks. He waits as a small group of girls pass them before nodding agreeably at Jens. “That’s kind of why I chose this. Above anything I was just really happy to be friends with you. I like how easy it is. How I can just hang out with you and have fun. And to have it just feel chill.”

Jens’s lips curve up in a soft smile, and Lucas watches the entire process. “I like when everything’s chill, too. This is very chill.”

“More your scene than a candle-lit dinner?” Lucas teases. Even though it has come to his own mind. He can’t be blamed, surely, for having a few romantic or cheesy thoughts enter his brain when it comes to Jens. It might not be his thing, but that doesn’t mean that Jens doesn’t deserve to be romanced. Lucas, really, would gladly put in the effort.

It’s possible that this is another thing that stems from his slightly-less-chill mindset.

“Definitely more my scene,” Jens laughs. “I told you, you know me well. You’re full of surprises.”

Lucas brightens, feeling another blush creep into his cheeks that he fruitlessly attempts to stave off. He clears his throat in an attempt to retain some control before saying, “I just don’t know why you changed your money. This is my organised date. I should be paying.”

Jens sets a hand on his shoulder and uses it to pull him against his side as they begin walking again, speaking slowly. “You assume we’re only playing like five games and leaving then?”

Lucas is torn between leaning into his side and subtly stepping out of his touch. He can’t quite bring himself to do either. He also can’t help but flick his gaze around as he answers with a huff. “Okay, splitting is fair. But I’m buying dinner this time.”

“You say it like I’m going to argue,” Jens snorts. He drops his arm as they reach the middle of the aisle in order to turn and face Lucas, brows raised as he takes a few step backwards. Lucas’s breath slips out of him in quiet relief and aching loss. “What are we doing first?”

Lucas smiles at him. “Your treat, you pick.”

Jens rubs his hands together, grinning like a child before leading Lucas through the aisles until he finds what he wants. They start off with a few chance games that their change is wasted on, then move on to the slightly more adventurous areas, having a few competitive shots at skee-ball and basketball. They even have a simulated bowling game, which Lucas finds only slightly easier than actual bowling. The embarrassment is worth it for Jens’s responding laugh—which he valiantly tries to bite down—and the comforting kiss he presses to his cheek after a quick glance around. It makes Lucas’s cheeks flame and leaves him shoving Jens’s face away, heart racing a mile a minute with the pure affection in his chest.

It overwhelms him enough that he has to look away, swallowing down the tumultuous mixture of excitement and nerves that seems to be warring in him. He wants to pull Jens in and give him a real kiss. He wants to get out of sight first.

“Okay, your turn to pick something, because that was truly pitiful.”

Lucas narrows his eyes at Jens, but smirks slightly as he catches sight of their next attraction.

Air hockey.

It’s free, blessedly, as most things have been; Wednesday is a surprisingly good choice for a quiet date. Jens raises his brows as Lucas moves to one end and picks up the paddle, sliding it across the table testingly. “Really?”

Lucas hums.

“What are we, twelve?”

“What’s wrong with air hockey? My mom has always loved it, and she’s far past twelve.”

Lucas isn’t sure why Jens’s expression has gone suddenly serious until he, now stationed at the opposite side, says, “You’ve never mentioned her before.”

Then Lucas realises his mistake.

“Not that you have to,” Jens backtracks quickly. “Sorry, I don’t know if it’s a sensitive subject or—“

“It’s fine,” Lucas cuts him off, even though it is. Any mention of his mother strikes a nerve, leaves a panging ache. The idea of talking about her himself—even to Jens—feels too treacherous. Yet he feels that he owes something. “It’s, uhm. It’s just more frustrating than anything, I guess. They split up. My parents, I mean. So she’s back in Utrecht.”

Jens seems to have expected something worse. The sag of his shoulders makes Lucas glad he hadn’t given him the full story. Not today. “I guess it makes even more sense why you wanna go back so badly,” Jens says softly. “Have you talked to your dad about it again?”

Lucas lets out a breath as his own shoulders slump, shaking his head. “Not yet. Things are going good, somehow, at the moment. But I think once I bring it up that will change, and...it’s been kind of nice, living in peace.”

That earns him an understanding smile. “Still, you should try. It’s important to you. He’ll see that.” Jens slots the money into the machine and adds, “If not, I’ll come break you out and we can go together.”

Lucas smiles slowly. “Someone’s a rebel now, are we?”

“Just for you,” Jens winks at him, leaving Lucas to roll his eyes in an attempt to hide his blush. Jens taps the table impatiently, nodding at him through the screen. “Come on then. Show me how it’s done.”

It’s teasing, and his scoff is equally so when Lucas shrugs off his jacket first, tying it securely around his waist. Jens’s amusement doesn’t stop him from admiring, however. Lucas notes the lingering gaze on his collar followed by the sweep down his arms to watch the movement of his hands. Lucas has begun, happily, to notice Jens’s lack of subtlety in such moments of appreciation, and it never fails to leave him grinning.

“Really?” Jens questions again. “Air hockey requires this?”

Lucas merely raises a brow, challenging. “Ah, now I understand why you were against it. You’re just scared of losing a kids’ game.”

Jens rolls his eyes in vague disagreement. “They’re all kids’ games,” he mumbles. When Lucas only continues to look at him, he waves a hand in a gesture to start.

Lucas collects the puck from the pocket on his side and drops it on the table. He aligns it carefully before leaning down, shooting one last glance at Jens before taking his shot.

It fires right into Jens’s goal before he even has a chance to move.

Jens snatches his hand away and stares at the table before lifting his eyes to Lucas in astonishment. Lucas merely offers him a smug smile.

“Okay,” Jens says slowly, while, to Lucas’s pleasure, shrugging off his own jacket. “It’s on, Van Der Heijden.”

[casmybelovedass]

The Destiel Folder: Season 10

[Season 4; Season 5; Season 6; Season 7; Season 8; Season 9]

Episode 1:

Cas is slowly dying, practically naked, in a bed, and the first thing he says when talking about Dean is "I miss him" (6:35), with a soft smile. "Why would he just disappear?"

... I'm sorry but If Cas Were A Woman, this would look like a scene from a movie or something, where the wife talks to a friend over the phone about her missing husband. JUST SAYING

Crowley: "The girl seemed nice. Slightly damaged. I could see the old you falling for that." (9:29) uhm... who else is "nice and slightly" damaged? I don't know... CASTIEL??!!!

So... these two men (actors Todd Mann and Brad Mann) we see with the DemonGang, are real life twins (9:14).

At (27:18), Crowley states him and Dean did "extroardinary things to triplets" ... and, well, the only twins with a possible other sibling we see are... them

And this is not the first time we hear about Dean doing "things to triplets" with a buddy of his (15x07)... and the first time he was NOT a demon... so, there's that. And triplets don't necessarily mean "all females"

Cas, while talking about the good things that come with choices, mentions "hope, love, dreams" (39:06), and Hannah points out that "those are human things". Human things...

Cas is talking about his own personal experiences with creating chaos, so those are the things he felt after rebelling for... Dean... WOW. ICWAW, it would totally be read it as a reference to Dean. A romantic one. Fight me

Episode 2:

Cas is dying, just got back from a fight that left him wounded, doesn't have enough power to heal himself, is on a mission to restore Heaven, and once again he chooses to go save Dean (9:35), and the way rage builds in his eyes when learning Dean has become a demon. Look at this shit

I might be crazy, but this feels like a touching metaphor to me:

"I think you don't know what you want. Tell me, Dean. What are you? A demon? [...] Maybe you're human. [...] Why don't you do us all a great, big favor... and pick a bloody side!" (22:22)

METAPHOR

Episode 3:

We are reminded that, even tho in terrible conditions, on the verge of death, Cas is willing to risk it all to save Dean, and is devastated by the thought of Dean not making it (4:47 - 5:17)

This is so funny to me, I'm sorry, but Cas is so visibly uncomfortable with Hannah touching him, it's hilarious (15:58)

"I've been around humans for long enough to see how easily distractions occur. Emotions, feelings... They're dangerous temptations." (22:32) like rebelling against your own kind, destroying your home, falling... all for a human?

"I'm trying to keep our priorities clear." Moments earlier, Cas listed "Getting to Dean" (22:17) before anything else. In fact, Hannah says "I am very clear of my priorities... and yours." = Dean (23:00)

Cas is not sure whether the cure will kill Dean or not, and in any case, he wraps his arms around him, and softly says "It's over... Dean it's over." (35:40) as if hushing him to sleep, in what could have been their last moments together... wow. Think about this ICWAW

"Well, I can see his point. Only humans can feel real joy, but... also such profound pain. This is easier." (36:17) Look at the way Sam is looking at Cas looking at Dean

BITCH OKAY!!

SAM KNOWS

POSSIBILE future Empty reference "real joy"

Cas already stated he misses being human, but knows how fragile they are in both body and spirit:

Castiel really wants to be with Dean. For real. But maybe he thinks (see season 9) him being an angel is an obstacle to their feelings.

Only by being human he can truly be happy (MMMMMMHH SEASON 15), but isn't sure he could handle the pain that comes with it. A possible rejection, the thought of Dean dying, him leaving Dean... MMMMHHHHH

"You look terrible." [...] "Well, you, on the other hand, you... *checks out Cas* Looking good." (39:09) full homo right there. Also parallel with Ketch in 13x18 ("You don't look good." "Yeah, well, you're not my type, either.")

The way they are looking at each other here... man.

Cas is so happy to have Dean back, and Dean looks hurt about Cas leaving so soon.

"So... so, you're back?" "At least temporarily." (39:27) bitch, you know that's not what he ment.

In all of this, Cas is trying to make Dean feel better about the whole situation (DAT SMILE 40:18), and Dean replies with "I'm glad you're back, man.", basically no-homoing himself...

Cas starts walking out of the room, but stops and turns back [insert concerned husband here] (40:27), and Dean has that hopeful look in his eyes, like Cas is going to stay, and the hurtful look comes back as soon as Cas is gone

Episode 4:

"On your knees!" "Wow, I'm awfully flattered-" (34:33) SASSY BI DEAN IS THE DEAN WE DESERVE

Episode 5:

Fucking kill me NOW!!! Dean's reaction to Destiel is PRICELESS!! And even before he learns what that is, he just looks at the girls playing him and Cas and... freezes for a moment (13:18) And the eyebrow raise thingy at (13:34)... what's going on in your brain, Dean?

I'd like to point out that the Italian translation for "You can't spell 'subtext' without S-E-X" is, for once, AMAZING:

"It's just that... their bond is so strong it has subtext of a... sexual nature."

THANK YOU ITALIAN DUB! JUST THIS ONCE, THANK YOU! (13:43)

Also at (9:44) Dean immediately reacts to the implication of Wincest subtext, shutting it down and telling the girls to take a step back, but with Destiel he is like... alright

... this is so fucking cute, (25:54) Dean adjusts the girl playing Cas' tie so that it's messed up like the real Cas'. ADORABLE

SAM SHIPS IT (13:57) and is teasing the SHIT out of Dean, who reacts like someone being teased about their crush. Just saying (14:08 - 14:52) [AND THIS HAPPENS IN FRONT OF A PINK-BLUE WALL]

"I know I have expressed some differences of opinion regarding this version of Supernatural." (26:44) ... oookay meta? *turns to "Cas"* "And I want you to put as much sub into that text as you possibly can." ... oKAY?!

Episode 7:

Cas being extremely uncomfortable with women is too fucking funny to me (5:03 - 12:51)

Episode 9:

(15:13) Alright, so, this is a date... what now? Anyway, nice bi flannel, Dean. And the little sweet smiles you two are giving each other? So fucking precious (16:01)

"I ain't exactly a role model." "That's not true." (16:07) how Dean looks at Cas right after that? BABIES!

"How are you, Dean?" "Fine." "*I-call-bullshit look*" "I'm great!" "No, you're not." (16:18) #MARRIED

As Cas is choke-holding a guy, Dean, clearly amused (almost proudly), says "I'd do what he says." (22:17) Like that time with Raphael in 5x03, Dean likes it when Cas gets rough

Episode 10:

Shut the fuck up and marry each other already so you can finally actually BE the old married couple™️ you ALREADY ARE (22:17)

This is the "My husband is so FUCKING STUPID" look (22:30)

"I was hoping you might reach out to her." "... Me? I'm probably the last person she'd want to hear from." [...] "All I know... is she won't talk to me." (23:03) #MARRIED, PARENTS, PERIODT

Shut the fuck up. Cas is the dad trying to figure out technology (23:36) "I'll text you her number. I like texting. Emotions!" DAD

Cas worries about Dean like a wife would with an alcoholic husband

Of all the things Dean could be MAD about at Metateon... the first thing he can think of is him stealing Cas' grace (31:33) (okay, maybe he is going in chronological order but STILL)

Episode 11:

[I AM SO SO SO SORRY BUT DEAN USED THE ALIAS "PRESLEY" (18:55) I AM NOT OKAY]

Episode 14:

Have this deleted scene: Castiel and Crowley bitching over Dean, and Crowley calling Dean Cas' boyfriend

This is some hell of a goodbye-eye-love-making scene (26:57)

Cain compares himself to Dean... and CAS TO HIS WIFE COLLETTE [PARALLELS]

"You're living my life in reverse [...]

First you'd kill Crowley. You'd get it done, no remorse. (Cain had been killing his descendants, for whom he didn't care much)

And then you'd kill the angel, Castiel. Now, that one... that, I suspect, would hurt something awful. [And than Sam is Able, bla bla...]"

AM I WRONG?! YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG??!!!

Dean gives the First Blade to Cas... oKAY (37:10)

Worried brother-in-laws (41:27)

Episode 16:

This is such a good source of hidden meanings scene! Dean starts his "confession" as a scam. Everything he says at first is to attract the spirit.

He starts talking about seeing lots of women, not being able to control himself, and being sick of it. Then the real confession begins...

Dean feels he's going to die soon, and fears not death itself, but what he would be missing from his life.

"There's things... people, feelings that I... I would experience differently than I had before. Or even for the first time." (25:28) and the priest believes Dean is talking about love.

Well... "people, feelings"... who could he be referring to? Does Dean want love all of a sudden? People he wants to experience for the first time... uhmmmm... Is Dean opening up to his attraction to MEN??!! Or one angel in particular?

ICWAW we would guess Dean was talking about Cas

"Who mixes their blood and bones into paint? No woman has ever done that for me." (39:19) UHM- Dean, what about

6x20 "He has bled, died bla bla bla for us",

7x21 "I'm always happy to bleed for the Winchesters" or

9x22 "You just gave up an entire army for one guy"

ICWAW we would ALL roll our eyes at this statement and scream CAS

THE GUY BLED, LOST HIS HOME, REBELLED, DIED FOR YOU!! HE REBUILT YOU PIECE BY PIECE FROM HELL- SAVED YOU DOZENS OF TIMES!!!

Episode 17:

About saving Dean from the Mark: "We won't- (free Metatron)" "Yes, you will... because you're desperate." (9:44) Hannah knows. Let's remark that

"All I'm getting from you is... colours." (14:26) bitch he is a walking 🌈PRIDE FLAG🏳️‍🌈

Notice how, when we get a Sam-Cas centred episode, we don't get the same interactions with Dean-Cas? Why this?

Dean is always ready to call Cas a "brother", but the only one true bromance here is Sam and Cas'. There are no longing stares, no weird sexual filled dialogue nor tension, NO LONGING STARES

Facts, my people. Facts

Episode 18:

"You killed my friend." "Oh, pff, Dean is fine, mostly. Can't you get past that?" "Never." (12:39)

Charlie being excited about meeting Dean's famous boyfriend is WHOLESOME (37:34)

To have Cas back, 100%, safe and sound, is a win for Dean (38:58) and the face Cas makes after Dean hits him with another no-homo "It's good to have you back, pal." is "UHH not this again". Charlie already ships it

Episode 20:

A #MARRIED couple and their daughter. NO ARGUMENTS VALID (7:06)

Look at how they enter the motel (16:22)

OH MY GOOOOOD!!! #PARENTS coming back home from shopping!! THE HAND ON THE SHOULDER!!! Also

"Happy birthday. I got it at the Hot Topical" DAD

Dean: "Imma head back over there." Cas: "I'm coming with you." Claire: "I'm coming with you too." (17:24) #FAMILY

A fucking family comedy about a dad confronting the daughter's boyfriend and the other dad scolding him:

"What did you do to him?" "I didn't lay a hand on him!" "Dean, that isn't exactly true." "... Well, I didn't kill the guy." (17:14)

Surprisingly enough, this is not the first nor last time Dean acts like a dad to a lost child (AND TWO OF THESE TIMES THE KID IS SOMEHOW RELATED TO CAS) (21:54)

Episode 22:

C: "Claire, you are not going out there. [...] It's too dangerous. I can't let anything happen to you." D: "Claire, you're not going." C: "You're not either, Dean." D: "What?" (19:29)

#FAMILY DON'T TALK TO ME!

"No fighting. [...] Both of you." AAAAAA

This doesn't fucking matter, but Dean just said "... for the ladies. Or the fellas. I don't judge." (36:23)

Cas' speech to Dean... wow. "So if there's even a small chance that we can save you... I won't let you walk out of this room." (39:20)

I hate this scene. (40:11)

Dean is overwhelmed by Charlie's death, Sam and Cas' betrayal, the Mark changing him and all the other shit.

The Mark is taking over, and Dean can't (and won't) help it. Cas knows it. He doesn't want to hurt Dean. He is not even resisting. Doesn't put up a fight.

And just like Colette with Cain, Castiel only asks Dean one thing: "Stop." (40:38) [9x11]

Parallel to 8x07:

The only thing that stops Cas from killing Dean, is him begging, clutching onto his sleeve.

"Dean... please..." (41:08) Cas pleading Dean, clutching to his arm, makes him resist the urge to kill him.

Episode 23:

You can find gifs and the script of some deleted (destiel) scenes in this post by @charlie-minion

As the Mark eats Dean... he starts feeling guilt for the people he hurt... first on the list: Cas (14:54)

(This gif is not mine)

Well... what a season.

[Season 11>>]

[drshebloggo]

Ask box: JUSTICE FOR LANE KIM, a breakdown.

Anonymous asked: Do you know why Lane disappeared from the show as Rory's best friend over time? She appeared every now and then, yeah, but it has always bothered me that she slowly faded from being Rory's best friend to nobody... am I remembering things wrong?

I do not know! The Palladinos make decisions that sometimes are simply beyond my comprehension.

It’s been awhile since I watched Gilmore Girls in its entirety (and I kind of selectively ignore a lot in the last two, three seasons) but I don’t think you’re remembering things wrong. I will say, though, that the show faced a challenge with all of the Stars Hollow supporting ensemble when Rory went off to college. It’s these kind of problem-making focus shifts that I find really interesting, and they are UBIQUITOUS across teen/high school shows when a character or ensemble graduates.

Most of them that I can think of are done poorly, maybe with the exception of Friday Night Lights. But in defense of these shows, it’s HARD. How do you embrace a fundamental shift in the entire premise of your show? How do you deal with the new geographies of this shift, and the way they ripple into beloved character dynamics? How do you evolve a character through an engaging and meaningful arc without abandoning the foundation on which they were built? And how do you still capture your audience’s attention when there’s a risk that you’re leaving behind the magic that captivated them in the first place? IT’S HARD.

So in the case of Gilmore Girls, Rory at Yale is the shift that moves the show into a new paradigm, and it’s a big one. She’s separated from Stars Hollow and slowly beginning her emancipation from Lorelai, which is, on principle, painful for the audience because it’s directly against the show’s premise. (It’s no coincidence that the Palladinos starts seriously building the Luke-and-Lorelai-of-it-all once Rory’s away at college. Give that empty-nester some new story!)

Of course, Lane is right behind Lorelai in the list of People in Stars Hollow that Rory is Leaving Behind. How is Lane supposed to stay a part of Rory’s story when Rory is in a new context, and Lane is not? But, truth be told, Lane was ALREADY in this role. In seasons 1-3, LANE, not Lorelai, was #1 on the list of People in Stars Hollow that Rory is Leaving Behind. Ultimately Gilmore Girls is a story of two worlds, and Rory going to Chilton begins her passage across the into the New (Old, with Baggage) World. Lane is already being left behind, to some degree, and in seasons 1-3, there’s still room in the show’s universe to address those issues and give Lane some good storylines of her own, especially in conjunction with Rory.

So it’s possible that the issue is not necessarily one of screentime or setting. Whenever I hear the rebel cry of JUSTICE FOR LANE KIM resound in my heart chambers, I mostly think of the kinds of storylines that befell her in the later seasons, not simply in their detachment from Rory. Heeding her mom’s insistence that she attend Seventh Day Adventist college. Fracturing her relationship with her mom in order to pursue her dreams. Getting kicked out of her home. Living with her two boy bandmates who are very stupid and very messy. Never really getting the band off the ground. Her first sexual experience being terrible. Her first sexual experience being terrible AND yielding a pregnancy with TWINS. Why do the Palladinos hate Lane Kim!!! The only thing I wholeheartedly love about Lane’s later storylines is Luke hiring her to work at the diner and then being completely overwhelmed by her sheer competence.

It’s probably important to note that the mere construction of Lane Kim’s character is a bit tragic. The Palladinos are VERY good at building conflict and tension into what seems like simple character descriptions. Here’s this girl that loves rock music to an obsessive, encyclopedic level, wants to play drums in a band, and she’s from a strict religious household where she can’t express any of that. The description itself inherently means that things are going to blow up for Lane at some point. That’s okay, to some degree - that’s conflict, that’s drama, that’s good story.

So if we look at Lane’s arc pre-blow-up, and post-blow-up, the satisfying thing would be for Lane to experience some kind of happiness or success living unstifled in her dreams, to offset the trauma that her family relationships are ruined (at least for the time being). But the Palladinos don’t even do that! It’s encapsulated in the incident that tears apart Lane’s relationship with her mom: she goes to play at CBGB, her mom finds out and kicks her out, and the band doesn’t even get to go on!! The Palladinos love PAIN.

And okay, fine, there’s still some defense that that is well-designed drama and story. (And Lane and her mom do reconcile eventually, and it was at least very affecting, from my memory.) I guess you could argue that Lane IS happy with how things turned out after the lifelong lie she’s lived completely unravels and she’s able to just exist, unguarded. But also... the Palladinos wrote her that way??? And regardless, for me, the issues arise more down the line with Lane essentially staying in Stars Hollow. Wouldn’t unshackling herself from the yoke of her mother mean that she’s free to pursue her dreams? And wouldn’t pursuing her dreams necessitate her to ALSO leave Stars Hollow, like Rory herself? Would she not try to scrape together money to move with the band to New York City and hit the big time? (Bear in mind, I have no idea how the music industry works.)

Ultimately, Lane’s story in the later seasons puts the writers in a Catch-22. If she leaves Stars Hollow and goes somewhere else to pursue her dreams, she’s almost certainly written off the show. She’s a supporting character, and they can’t open up a new world beyond Stars Hollow and New Haven, just for her. On the other hand, if she stays in Stars Hollow, in keeping with the geographies of the universe, she stays on the show, and just... gets really disappointing storylines. I’d be inclined to keep giving Keiko Agena a paycheck. 

(Now, the fact that WB threw money at a backdoor pilot for Jess Mariano to go to California and open up a new world for a weakly-premised spin-off, and did no such thing for Lane Kim, is some bullshit. Literally “moving to the big city to live a dream” is SUCH a well-worn trope that all the storylines are essentially handed to them, and it’s almost inherently refreshed because Lane is a Korean-American woman and not a brooding white guy or a quirky white lady. You FOOLS, you could’ve made that show with your EYES CLOSED.)

Anyways.

I’m going to meander my way further off the main point for a moment to kick up some dust on JUSTICE FOR RORY GILMORE as well. When you write ten paragraphs lamenting Lane Kim’s eternal relegation to supporting role, it’s hard not to be cranky about affording world-opening and story-building for a main character instead. (Spin-off Jess very much deserves the crank, though.) But, frankly, the unyielding walls that the Palladinos built to construct their very effective Two-World Universe don’t do a lot of favors for Rory Gilmore either, in the end.

Basically, this construct of Stars Hollow ensemble and New Haven future means that Rory is the only one who will “get out” of Stars Hollow, because she is structurally decreed to do so. It’s the massive conflict that the Palladinos smartly built into their little generational premise: Lorelai fled her parents’ world, and Rory will slowly be lured back into it. Pain ensues. This is good drama. This is good story. This is story that will last seven seasons and six-hour revival.

But it also inadvertently makes Rory the Chosen One, in a story that doesn’t need one. This is not Joseph Campbell’s Hero with a Thousand Faces, and I’d like to believe that even Paris and Rory wouldn’t want it to be, much as they love the Power of Myth. Lorelai divests her entire life into Rory’s success; the town of Stars Hollow wants Rory to spirit out of their small town and Be Great; Rory’s grandparents expect her to follow in Richard’s footsteps and also carry out their orphaned dreams for Lorelai. And then the Palladinos choose little things that further this: Lane doesn’t ever leave Stars Hollow; Paris doesn’t get into Harvard but Rory does; Luke interrogates any boy that comes near Rory because no one is good enough. (I confess, I’m charmed into forgiving the last one.)

It’s much too much to put onto one character and leave unaddressed!!! It’s also why some audience members just really hate Rory, in a really unfortunate knife-twist on an otherwise-winsome main character. They hate the unwillingness of the narrative to acknowledge this very obvious dark and specific underside to Rory’s specialness, and the unwillingness of people within the narrative to name this very obvious dark and specific underside about Rory. But to paraphrase Jessica Rabbit: she’s just DRAWN THAT WAY!

Rory’s storylines never really confront the idea that she has had FAR too many unrealistic expectations put on her by literally everyone that’s ever existed in her life, and what it might mean if she doesn’t live up to them. What does it mean if she’s not Christiane Amanpour? What does it mean if she’s scared of disappointing people? What does it mean if she’s trying to live up to other people’s standards rather than examining what she really wants?

The Palladinos completely ignore this, and simultaneously give Rory multiple meltdowns (cheating with Dean, being cowed by Mitchum Huntzberger, stealing a boat, quitting Yale, an aimless/struggling career) and they never QUITE dig into the complete dark and specific issue at the core of Rory’s character construction... which just exacerbates the Rory hate. Rory has no self-awareness; the writers give her no self-awareness; we go in circles, and every few years there’s a slew of thinkpieces about how selfish and awful Rory is.

What makes it worse is that those questions outlined above are essentially applicable for two other women on the show: Lane Kim, and Lorelai Gilmore II, herself. Lane, like Rory, doesn’t quite bust through and answer them wholly. Lorelai, however, comes into the show having already answered them, years before, when she was a headstrong and tenacious teenager. The idea that neither Rory, her actual daughter, nor Lane, her spiritual inheritor of Parental Disapproval, are ever able to grapple with those concepts in a real way, and blossom into self-defined adulthood the way that Lorelai did is maybe the bottom line on where Gilmore Girls went “wrong.” Lorelai’s legacy is not that she’s hyperverbal, loves junk food, and got pregnant young. It’s that she rejected the expectations of her forebearers and carved out a place in the world for herself by her own definition, for better or for worse. It’s why Lorelai comes out of the narrative like a Super Mom, when in fact she’s still just as deeply flawed as Emily or Rory, and why Stars Hollow is overall magical and cherished despite it serving as a small-town hometown for Rory to leave behind. And it’s why A Year in the Life was SO satisfying for Emily Gilmore, because she proved it’s never too late to answer those questions and break through to the other side. Perhaps we’ll get enough revivals to see the same happen for Rory, and for Lane.

But enough dust about Rory. I think, after all this nitpicking, there were two options for the best way to have handled Lane Kim after Rory went off to college:

1. Give her a backdoor pilot and spinoff to Band Dreams NYC. Which, of course, was not in the Palladinos’ control, so, y’know, fine.

2. Keep Lane in Stars Hollow and give her a chance to answer those questions about self-definition and live out a few years of Lorelai-like hard-but-happy independence (and better sex) before saddling her with Zach and two babies (if you MUST). Bonus points if she moves in with Lorelai and they bond over being fundamentally disappointing to your parents and also missing Rory. A very good obvious choice.

Secret option 3. Just let Lane move to New Haven and live with Rory and Paris off-campus, and give me the goddamn roommate comedy of my dreams. Honestly this is what they should’ve done. Forget everything I said. This is my answer.

Tiny footnote: I cannot BELIEVE, that after twenty years, I am just now realizing how on-the-nose it is that Lorelai escaped from the clutches of New Haven and started a new life for herself at a place called INDEPENDENCE INN. Truly, it was right there in front of me and I didn’t even notice. This oversight might weaken the integrity of the thousand-paragraph essay I rattled off above...

[guccifloralsuits]

hi we were talking about books yesterday and i was wondering if you have any good fiction recommendations? 😇😇😇

Yes, I have so many! I broke them down into relative categories, so there’s a little mix of everything. Please read the actual synopsis before diving in though, as some have major trigger warnings.

Books considered “classics”

Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston: a book which I come back to in hard times of my life. There’s something so…necessary about this story. Prose style was great. I would rec this book to every person I know.

Mrs. Dalloway by Virgina Woolf: I read this when my life seemed to be changing faster than I could keep up. Beautifully written. Came at a time when I needed it.

Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys: written as a prequel to Jane Eyre and a modernist masterpiece honestly. THE original meditation on the ideal of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl

The Color Purple by Alice Walker: you’ve probably heard this name from the adaptation. Let me tell you. This book deserves all of its acclaim. I think I’m gonna re-read soon.

Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austin: this is super mainstream for The Literary Circles but it’s for good reason, this book is just? Fun? An honestly enjoyable read? plus when I was taking my SATs way back when they had an essay section, I could use this book for literally any prompt they gave

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë: this book is wild. Everyone is a messy bitch who lives for drama & I love it. I just finished it and omg

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath: my emo teen- girl rebelling ass ate this shit up back in high school. Is this book overrated? I don’t care. I love it for nostalgic value anyways

The Handmaids Tale by Margaret Atwood: startling beautiful lines. I have almost half this book underlined. A popular read in recent times, with good reason.

A picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde: I fundamentally disagree with everything written in this book. That is exactly the point. About being gay & sinning. I would not recommend this as a ‘light’ read though. Easy to get swept up in Wilde’s sharp wit & not catch the intentional malice behind what he says, underneath.

One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez: I just. Love this. That’s all I have to say. Yeah.gif

All The King’s Men by Robert Penn Warren: The nihilism of Oscar Wilde but set to a political backdrop in the 30’s with stylistic prose akin what you’d read from Hemingway. Probably not for everyone’s taste. But right up my alley in terms of political intrigue. If ur a stuffy English Major with who likes books about corruption, you’ll like this.

Popularized books that are worth the hype they had:

The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls: there’s something so…engaging about the way this is written. It’s pretty much about kids who have to act like adults for their shitty parents. I couldn’t put this down though.

Dark Places by Gillian Flynn: as with all her novels, this gets dark. This gets ugly. An absolute thriller, & I can’t recommend her books enough. (You might know her from Gone Girl & Sharp Objects. This story follows similar tone). Honestly I rec anything by Flynn.

The Princess Bride by William Goldman: you’ve probably heard of or seen this movie. Well guess what? the book is even better.

YOU by Caroline Kepnes: aka the adapted Netflix series where dan from gossip girl plays plays joe, who is basically Dan but Unhinged. But like, the books are great. “Hidden Bodies” which is the sequel to this is even better, in my opinion. Just plz don’t romance Joe cus you saw penn badgley in a Netflix poster & were thirsty 4 him

Lesser Known/underrated books which could use your love:

A Thousand Acres by Jane Smiley: A reimagining of King Lear, set on an Iowa farm in the late 1970s. Powerful and disturbing

The Gold Bug Variations by Richard Powers: specifically for classical music lovers. Basically a long meditation on supernal mysteries of music, specifically Bach’s intricate Goldberg Variations (you’ll wanna have the Glenn Gould recording to hand), & those of the DNA molecule (especially as a code to be broken) It gradually dawns on you that the two couples listening to the music and studying the molecule are themselves engaged in something strangely molecular and musical. You won’t always understand this book, but it keeps taking your breath away.

Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn: did I buy this book solely because of this tumblr post? Yeah. But it was easily one of the best decisions I’ve made. The way he manipulates letter-language is wild. Woah. Highly recommended.

The 100 Year Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window & Disappeared by Jonas Johnson: a 100 year old dude escapes his nursery home a steals a suitcase full of drug money then goes on a giant crime spree. HIGHLY entertaining. We stan a King

The Sellout by Paul Beatty: probably the greatest satirical comedy written within the last 50 years. I said what I said.

Children’s/teen/YA books you should absolutely read

The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster: wonderfully creative, beautifully told. Takes abstract constructs and turns them into concrete beings and landscapes in amazing, engaging ways. Please read this. One of my all-time favorite books. Takes the protagonist, Milo, on a fantastical adventure borne through boredom on what he though would be another average day. Seriously. I love this book. So much.

Coraline by Neil Gaiman: another beautifully creative foray into a parallel universe where something Not Quite Right lurks beneath a pretty surface. If you’ve seen the movie adaption - great. Still read the book. It’s absolutely worth it.

Love that Dog by Sharon Creech: technically free verse poetry from the perspective of a young boy dealing with the loss of his pet dog who has to write poetry for a class assignment from his teacher. This is…so good. Oh my god. Oh my god? Poetry for non-poetry people.

The Giver by Louis Lowery: Listen. I know you were forced 2 read this in primary English. I know you probably hated it on principle. But this shit was all that kept me going, when I was younger. It made me feel so understood, before I could define trauma or the meaning of depression. This book made me feel seen.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky: ya know what? Fuck 2013 tumblr for dumbing this book down into a basic ass Grunge Anthem. I have never seen a book so adequately grapple with how awful romanticizing trauma can be. This book goes into the horrible side of adolescence in a way that’s genuine, and in a way which doesn’t put trauma/mental illness on a pedestal. I needed that shit, when I read it. I still love this book today. The lines will stay with you forever, after you read some of them.

All the Bright Places, by Jennifer Niven: this was another one of those books that I read in an essential time, which lodged into me afterwards. About two teenagers who meet while standing on the bell tower of their school, both contemplating suicide. Highly recommend. Prepare to cry.

You didn’t ask for Poetry but I’m including some because I am poetry TRASH:

Rice by Nikky Finney

A Thousand Mornings by Mary Oliver

One Big Self by C.D. Wright

LOOK by Solmaz Sharif

Poetry for people who think poetry is inaccessible to them:

New American Best Friend by Olivia Gatwood

Our Numbered Days by Neil Hillborn

Depression & Other Magic Tricks by Sabrina Benaim

There are literally SO SO SO many books I could also add, but these are the ones that came to mind. Bolded ones are those I especially love. Happy reading!

[skekheck]

In that same vein, how about gelfling ranking??? OwO

Warning this post may contain lightly spiced opinions. Also not going to list all of them because there’s a lot...

BUT HERE WE GOOOOOO

1. Seladon: Say what you want with how AOR handled her redemption arc, but she’s by far the most interesting and complexly written gelfling character in the series. She was raised with a lot of pressure, being the eldest daughter of the all Maudra. She had to train hard and taught by a mother who never really showed her love or recognize her accomplishments. Most scenes she’s in with Mayrin her mother criticizes her constantly. Seladon was raised to serve the skeksis and that their word is law and true. And then suddenly her mother and her younger sister who she had a strained relationship are planning to flip it upside down. Lead by the being who represents all of Thra who hasn’t been seen or heard of in forever. And then her mother was murdered for treachery and further being manipulated by the beings she was taught to serve. Does any of this excuse what she did? Of course not, but constantly seeing people berate her over actual genocidal turkeys is very telling how people’s biases get in the way of what’s going on. But at the same time, a character generating this much discussion for her gray morale is proof of how great of a character she is. Also she rocks the goth look. 

2. Kylan: Sweetest boy. Because he’s a minor character in AOR, I’m going to be talking about him from the books. His characterization was inconsistent in Shadows, but they became clearer in Song thanks to the fact his story was told from his perspective. He never really fit into anything: his parents were taken from him at an young age, his step-mother was not very kind to him despite loving him, he never fit in as a Spriton. Now, being part of a resistance of fighters, he once again feels inadequate as a songteller. How can a songteller fight the skeksis? Kylan struggled with self-worth, constantly comparing himself to his peers. But through his travels, he discovers that he has a place in the resistance and there are things that he can do that no one else can. He took on and defeated skekLi the Satirist through playing is firca (and aided by the mystics). Kylan was able to engrave dreametches (a rare and hard to learn skill) into the petals of the Sanctuary Tree to get the word out about the skeksis. He even saved Tavra’s life. He may be the broth boy in AOR, but he’s the smart, shy but very sweet songteller and I think more people should acknowledge that. 

3. Tavra: Absolute MVP in both AOR and the book series. There are things I wish AOR kept about her, like her relationship with Onica (but I feel this can still be remedied if they find the right way to include it). She was the glue in her relationship with her sisters, keeping them together even after she “passed away”. Although it took her a while to get there, Tavra shined even brighter in the books. After losing her original body, she lives the rest of her life as a spider. Like Kylan, she was having her own self-doubts of what she could do with her new body. She does manage to find ways to work around her predicament, but seeing what sacrifices she would have to make (like not being able to see her sisters ever again) is heart breaking. Whatever her situation may be, in both iterations her bravery is commendable and I absolutely adore her character.

4. Periss: So this is my complete bias coming in, but I loved this character. Although he’s not my favorite from the book series anymore, he still remains high on my list. He’s a rebel: he hates his clan and their complacent ways. He knew their Great Tree was alive, but no one listened to him as they thought he wasn’t able to let go. He fought with his brother, sandmaster Erimon, to the point he decided to run away. Periss became a thief who grew a fondness for materialism, as opposed to a clan who lives on minimalism. When the main group finds him after stealing from them, they force him to get them to the Dousan Clan and indirectly confront his problems. It’s there that we find he’s not completely selfish and cares for those around him. I adore smug thief characters with a heart of gold and Periss quickly grew on me. Please be in future seasons.

5. Onica: While a minor character in AOR, she plays a bigger role in the book series. Her characterization is similar, but we get to see more of her: she has a backstory and established relationships with other characters. She lost her wings while stuck in a storm, losing her wings by saving one of her friends. Although she mourns over the loss, she will never regret doing what she did and even concluding that meeting Tavra was worth it. She’s also got a little sass to her and I love how she doesn’t take shit from no one. I hope we get to see this version of Onica in future seasons.

6. Naia: Once again, book series does her more justice. She’s a headstrong badass who cares about her family and goes through great lengths to find her brother. Like a lot of her friends, she has her own problems of fitting in into the grand scheme of things and eventually doubting herself when she believed her one special gift was taken from her. Also she had a super interesting expansion on her dreamfasting ability where not only could she dreamfast with animals but also with the skeksis/mystics (with Gurjin involved). She doesn’t take shit and she gets stuff done no matter how hard it is. 

7. Maudra Argot: Sassy, doesn’t take any shit, should have been the All Maudra. How dare Mayrin rob that from her?

8. Maudra Seethi: My favorite maudra only for the tiniest bit of lore about her and design. I want to know more about you. Gimmie more lore.

9.  Rek’yr: He’s really cool, but there’s not much to him. Hopefully we get a prequel comic starring him soon.

10.  Kira: Should have been the protagonist of the movie. She’s a cute bog princess with a noisy rolly polly dog, can speak to animals, used said animals to kill a skeksis, knows how to use throwing weapons, what’s not to love? Sequel comics ruined her, though.

11.  Brea: I love her inquisitiveness and her need to find the truth. I said this before, but my friend and I joked she was BOTW!Zelda and that still sticks with me. The two are so much alike. Brea is my favorite out of the main trio, but I wished she was as developed as her sisters.

12.  Gurjin: I like him just fine. I don’t really get why people are so thirsty for him but everyone’s got different interests. He is really funny though and kiddos to him for staying strong while being tortured by the skeksis. He’s kind of the odd one out as I like him better in AOR than I did in the book series. I mean we didn’t really get to know him until Flames and by then he just couldn’t leave an impression on me.

13.  Mira: Should have been alive instead of Rian. I kinda really wanted an all girl trio.

14.  Maudra Ethri: I wish they kept her gem eye that was really cool.

15. Maudra Fara: She’s cool. That’s all I can really say.

16.  Maudra Mayrin: Conflicted. One hand I understand why she acts the way she does but on the other hand that doesn’t excuse her from treating Seladon so poorly. Even when she finally steps up to the skeksis I don’t think it really makes up for what she did. A golden star for trying, though.

17.  Elder Cadia: Who?

18.  Deet: Okay I might get some salty fans on me but... I don’t particularly care for Deet? Like she’s cute and should be protected, but that’s really it. She’s just cute. It’s cool to see things from her perspective: the surface world of Thra is so new and newcomers to the series can see its wonders and dangers through her. But there’s not much else. Hopefully this changes but I’m not very impressed.

19.  Rian: Now I don’t mind him, but I think I fell into the camp of I wish Mira was alive instead. He’s the typical hero character who’s needlessly surrounded by tragedy. The show never really gets him to mourn properly. And then he just moves on from Mira to Deet just like that? He’s also not really interesting as a character. He’s my least favorite of the main trio.

20.  Ordon:  I like him, but I don’t think he was very rememberable. I think he resolved his issues with his son too quickly and as soon as they reunite Ordon is killed off. His sacrifice wasn’t even worth it because skekMal survived anyway. Ordon’s death felt cheap, adding needless trauma and sorrow for Rian who was already dealing with the loss of Mira. Ordon deserved better.

21.  Amri: Okay here’s another take people might get salty over: he’s boring. he had promise being a weird experimenter, but we don’t really get to see much of that except for a few instances. Amri had a collection of jars full of weird junk he made. They were brought up in Song and never again. I’m not sure why he became the protagonist of Tides I feel like he should have remained as a side character. He just never made an impression on me.

22.  Jen: As interesting as white bread. I haven’t read the novelization of the movie yet so this opinion may change, but he’s just... not interesting. Also the sequel comics totally ruined him for me.

23. Kensho: I keep forgetting him most of the time. He’s boring.

24. Maudra Mera: Fuck this racist bitch. Worst gelfling 0/10.

[eerna]

ah wait! What kind of changes did the anime make in noragami? I'm one of those ppl who r lazy and just start reading the manga where the anime left off (and I know they changed some things, like that entire plot point at the end of s1, but that's all I think?) Thanks in advance!

Oh boy. I have talked abt this a lot and haven't seen the anime in a loong while, so for more details you can search my blog, but I can do it again in short bc I am really pissed at it.

There are so many non-plot important things in Noragami that they justdecided to skip or change. For starters: they gave Yato a plot where he had to learn shinki were humans and not just tools for him to use to make Yukine more sympathetic I guess. This is outrageously wrong and completely kills Yato as a functional character. Yato is literally the ONLY GOD IN THE SERIES who makes no distinction between them- for him, noras and shinkis are people no matter what. Like, in the anime he forces Yukine to kill that infected girl as Yukine screams and begs for him not to do it. Idk about you, but if I were Yukine, I'd start rebelling against him and not care for him too, so Yukine being a brat is justified now. Then Hiyori has to have a conversation with Yato in which she tells him "Hey Yukine is a teen boy and you should treat him as such" and he acts like he never thought of it that way. In the manga, Hiyori saves Yukine from the infected girl, he cries in her lap, end. In the manga no one understands why would a minor god like Yato have a hafuri who cares so much about him- it's because Yato is a kind soul who withstood all the irrational, hissy crap Yukine has put him through and Yukine understood and decided to be better for him. He saw the boy and decided "I'll be a good dad to him bc neither of us had one", he never had to be told to do it. It is basically what makes Yato redeemable, what shows us that he can learn to love properly and deeply because it's his natural response to seeing a lost boy like Yukine. But in the anime...... that makes no sense bc he was an asshole and deserved what was coming to him for traumatizing a fourteen year old. Thanks

Then comes the issue of Hiyori. As you might have noticed in my previous example, her spotlight gets stolen. The original s1 ending..,. Kills me. Hiyori does get kidnapped later on but she isn't just "kyaaaa Yatoooo ;.;" about it, but she and Kazuma figure out the plan to overthrow Bisha and then stop it while they are captured. In the Underworld Arc, she spent her life savings on going after Yato and lied to her parents, showing a major step away from her usual character, but the anime had her there to be Yukine's motivation or smth. She is just more.... animated in the manga, she is the narrator of the story after all.

Then, the genre change. The anime decided it wanted to be more action/plot than character driven, so they completely messed up the aura. Noragami is written in a way that the comedic events later turn out to be major development points. For example, the one where Yato possesses Hiyori's body is actually a chapter displaying his toxic tendencies learned from his dad. Later on, the famous Hospital Arc shows us how he'd changed and developed, and it wouldn't be as impactful if we didn't have the divine possession one before. But the anime just uses it for a side comedic story, not placed in the timeline the way the lodge OVA can be bc it doesn't impact the plot that much. Besides, plot isn't the o yl thing that should be kept the same: Changing the way something happened can greatly undermine it. For example, Yato finding out Ebisu is dead is ten times worse in the manga- instead of seeing Ebisu die, he wakes up after the great battle convinced he beat his dad, so sure that he managed to destroy his plans. And then baby Ebi walks int the room, and the horror and grief in Yato's expression is..... haunting, man. We already saw characters dying on each other's arms. Why change such a pivotal moment for Yato's development into a been-there-done-that scene.

Et cetera. Basically, the anime is your everyday supernatural action story while the manga is an unique character driven comedy drama. If you wanna experience the Noragami I always talk about, read the manga from the very beginning. Adachitoka's art is worth it anyway

[jesterlady]

Rise of Skywalker review

After Watching Episode IX for the second time, I feel like it’s finally time to make my feelings known regarding the sequel trilogy and to vent some of the negativity by getting it down in somewhat rational fashion.

If any one recalls the 6k I wrote on Avengers Endgame, you’ll know what to expect.

Now it’s been a while since I saw either Ep VII or VIII, so my memory is likely rusty on details.

 My feelings on this trilogy in general have been extremely negative.  It’s interesting, but after I saw Force Awakens, I actually had a very positive reaction at first.  It felt like a Star Wars movie (following the New Hope formula).  But after a while, even before Last Jedi came, I realized that I actually was disappointed, not necessarily in the movie as a movie or the new characters, but the direction the whole trilogy was likely to go.

 I must confess a great deal of this feeling probably arose from watching Clone Wars and Rebels in the meantime and becoming very caught up in those time periods and what they represent for Star Wars.  And that’s just it…the sequel trilogy takes what came before, what those people bled and died for, and basically said it didn’t matter.  They didn’t actually save the galaxy.  The victory at Endor has become incredibly cheapened by the First Order’s existence…and it doesn’t even matter that apparently it was Palpatine all along so it’s suddenly very connected in a haphazard fashion.

 They could have told a much more interesting story about the struggles of rebuilding a galaxy. They could have had the same characters, they could have had the same arcs (terrible ones mostly), and the galaxy could still be in danger.  But starting off with a brand new evil empire like destroying the old one didn’t even matter, not even letting Han and Leia stay together…like, that’s just creating drama for the sake of drama.  We have to destroy everything that was built before, because we’re really unoriginal and don’t know how to create new stories or build on top of a good foundation.

 Say what you like about the prequels (I am a fan in general) they had a very cohesive story, building toward a single point.  The sequels…did not.

 Now, we must all acknowledge the elephant in the room.  That of the atrocious planning and divided directional control that went into making these movies.  I don’t know what Disney was thinking!  The MCU for all its faults is a cohesive whole.  With a franchise infinitely more popular and lucrative and with a fraction less of the movies, you couldn’t pull off having a story that makes sense?

 And I’ll just say that even if JJ didn’t like what Rian did with TLJ, basically completely doing a 180 and trying to go the other direction, was selfish.  It destroyed further rather than fixed the problem.  I don’t have anything else to say, other than the lack of unity is probably the ultimate problem after the initial direction in the first place.  I didn’t really approve of TLJ.  The Rey/Ben parts…sure, but the slowest chase scene known to man and completely superfluous side ventures to a gambling planet were utter drivel.  So it’s not that I’m a Rian vs JJ person.  I think the lack of unity and that they both screwed with each other’s narratives is the problem.

 Anyway, we’re here to talk about TROS.  (And how about that, coming up with a title that is super confusing since we already have Revenge of the Sith.  I guess that’s ROTS…but come on!

 So…this will be fairly chronological but as I get deeper into character arcs and plot points, it will delve all over the place.

 The intro of a Star Wars movie is usually fairly jarring.  We’re dropped into the middle of a situation and all we know is three paragraphs long, to tell us what’s going on and what happened.  But this felt even more jarring than usual.

 Suddenly knowing Palps is alive in the credit titles is so off course.  Knowing he was alive at the end of TLJ would have been preferable, leaving us time to stew over how he was still alive and giving them time to come up with something more coherent than the absolute zero explanation we were given.  The return of an essential character/villain like that deserves way more gravitas and planning than the shock value we were presented with.  The idea of him being alive is not so shocking to those familiar with the EU, but that was explained and explained well, whereas how long he’s been planning this, Snoke, the ships, how…it’s all completely ignored and I guess we can come up with explanations on our own.  So…is Snoke his clone?  Or a part of him?  How many Snokes were there?  There are so many questions regarding their relationship…how it relates to Kylo/Ben, how it relates to Rey, how it relates to their bond, but I’ll get more into that later.  And more on those ships.

 Pretty sure a blow no one can be faulted with is Carrie’s death.  If she had been alive, I have to believe so many things would have been better.  She uttered the only sensible line in the movie…never underestimate a droid. Something everyone else went on to ignore even though droids made the whole movie possible.  Ugh.  I do think it’s funny that since TFA we’ve all been told to call her the General now…no more princess cause princesses are apparently weak, but she was suddenly a princess again this movie.

 The Jedi texts, I’d like to know more about that.  Very plot device-y really, if you think about it.  All this info about new and improved powers and places and things and considering how much lore we know as an audience who actually have been exposed to when the Jedi were still around, opposed to Luke onward…it’s just an excuse for story. Same thing with the Sith wayfinders and that dagger.  I guess you could make the argument for Palps having them made after ROTJ, but…that makes no sense.  But it’s the only thing that makes sense since how could anyone make a dagger the exact shape of a crashed Death Star before it crashed?  But the Jedi texts…super old texts…reference the wayfinders. And it was already in the vault of the crashed DS.  All I’m saying is that doesn’t make a lot of logical sense and someone needs to explain it to me.  And to stop making mysterious keys and clues to things.  It makes sense the Sith loyalist would have it since he needed to go back to Exegol to deliver Rey, (though he had clearly already left Jakku and killed her parents, so was he just going back to say, oops, I messed up? Palps clearly got the message somehow) but maybe it would have been better for them to keep all the Oracle stuff in and explained all this stuff properly.  Like I’m confused about Palpatine’s plan and he’s usually the master of strategy.

 Okay…Poe is so unlikable in this movie.  And he really doesn’t have an arc.  Maybe a little one, struggling with the burden of leadership.  But he mostly seems to be there to argue with people and be rude to Threepio.  This is a waste of a good character.  He was barely in TFA, he was a total mess in TLJ, and here he’s just a jerk.  I got nothing good to say for him.  Which is a shame because he could have been awesome.

 We will talk about Rose and her complete lack of presence.  Up front, I never cared for Rose in TLJ…didn’t see the point of her. She brought nothing to the story in my opinion and whether she was supposed to be a love interest for Finn or to symbolize hope or just be representative of WOC, I don’t know.  But her being shifted to the sidelines of this story is a blatant statement of disrespect.  The actress has been very publicly discriminated against online and instead of taking care of her, the director and studio pretty much stated they agreed with that by what they did with her character.  Aside from that…makes zero sense for someone who was so built up and had such a big part in TLJ to be so downplayed and have her story just stop in the middle.  It’s bad storytelling.  Especially while you’re bringing in a troop of new female characters to do…what? Basically things Rose could have accomplished and would have made more sense doing.  

 Along the lines of pointless things…what is the point of the Knights of Ren?  They were so built up…such an ooh, scary prospect and they play zero role in this.  They have no point.  They have no purpose.  We know nothing about them unless we hunt for backstory in comics and things like that. But you shouldn’t have to do that to understand the point of someone in a movie.  I’d also just like to point out, if they’re really Force sensitives who were Jedis in training…maybe?  Then they should be a lot harder to defeat and why don’t they have light sabers? And…why are they the Knights of Ren if there isn’t at least a discussion about what their leader is doing when he comes to Exegol.  Like they’re just trying to kill him from the second he enters.  I’d be like…hi, boss, so why aren’t we killing the girl…or something like that.  And if they’re the Knights of Ren, his…family for lack of a better term, people who trained with him since boys, I’d like to think he at least would have some compunction of striking them down…would try to reason with them first.  They might still be brainwashed like he was, but he would know that better than anyone.  I don’t know if that makes sense, but that’s my knee jerk reaction. A waste of possibilities.

 Want to talk about another waste?  Hux! Never liked him and his Hitler youth attitude, but really he was not important in this trilogy, like at all. DG is too good an actor to not have his talents used better.  He, Phasma, and Kylo were built up as this villain trilogy to stand against the Rey, Poe, Finn good guy trilogy, and basically none of them got any kind of development other than Kylo.  I knew Hux was the spy and I believe it is funny that he is the spy solely because he hates Kylo so much, but other than that…he was a waste of space.   Better to have him finally rise and become the commander he’d always wanted to be instead of Pryde suddenly being there and being all evil and competent for some reason.  Having him be significant for having followed Palpatine before would only actually be significant if we had seen him serve Palpatine before.  It’s just another instance of this brand new character suddenly taking the place of an established one for no reason.

 We can talk about Finn now.  Finn, who also suffered from lack of actual character arc and purpose in the movie other than running after everyone and being worried about them.  The whole Force sensitive thing is old news…we all knew about it a long time ago.  And this way of revealing it…such poor methods!  As far as I know the only reason you’d start thrashing around and declaring you never told someone something is because it is going to be a declaration of love or like a super big confession of guilt.  I mean, that’s what they wanted us to think by keeping it in suspense for so much of the movie and it’s just…not that big of a deal. Like it’s not a surprise, it’s not a death confession topic.  It was just stupid.  

 As for the idea that he only left the First Order because of the Force, well, that just implies that only Force sensitive people know right from wrong and can make moral decisions…it’s just not a good message.  Now whether Jannah’s whole platoon is Force sensitive is not clear, but it’s strongly implied.  And the fact that it’s what he wants to have told Rey is also not clear.  Like you have to figure that out (possibly with online help), it’s not inherent in the narrative.  Also…could have been told to Rose, Jannah not needed.  In fact, this whole storyline would have actually made much more sense and been better if it’s something Finn had been dealing with in TLJ and perhaps came with an army of defectors or been out convincing people this whole time.  Potential storyline wasted.  Plus…for someone who’s an ex Stormtrooper, watching Finn run down hallways and strike down troopers is pretty insensitive and OOC if you ask me.  Just a super bad way to take the character.  And he really didn’t do that much else other than be the main person who does the thing that destroys the thing so everyone else can do the main thing they’re there to do.

 Wow, and can we talk about Threepio’s treatment in general and in this trilogy in particular? I will be the first to admit that Han and Leia especially weren’t all that great to him all the time.  But it was how they would have treated anyone, I think.  Poe particularly just laid into him all the time for no reason, even after he sacrificed himself for them.  Like…just really made me mad at Poe and really mad at everyone the whole movie. It appears that Threepio, one of the two original droids of the whole franchise, gets the least respect out of any of them.  With all the fanservice going on, you’d think he’d be treated better.  I love the HISHE part where he talks about taking a last look at his friends and it certainly ain’t none of this trio!  You want to talk about underestimating a droid!  I know he’s not everybody’s favorite and I’m probably biased, but if we’re ranking droids in the SW universe, which we all do, Threepio’s not at the top for me either.  That spot belongs to Chopper.  But I’m still going to accord Threepio the respect and dignity he deserves for seniority if nothing else.  Because he tries so hard and no one ever thanks him for it.  I like BB8 and all, but he goes under Threepio and R2 both in ranking!  And let’s not forget if not for a droid’s knowledge of Exegeol (so convenient) and the way to get there, you resistance jerks are all toast, so respect!

 Zorii, Zorii, Zorii, frankly another superfluous new character.  But I liked her best out of all of them.  I can see that little something something with her and Poe and I think it would be cool for it to flourish now that the war’s over and they can put the really convenient past and betrayal behind them.  Poe being a spice runner isn’t bad but isn’t good either. It’s just convenient, because they suddenly needed black market stuff.  Also…like how’d she survive?  Really. Because it’s such a big deal for her to have gotten that thingamajig and it’s not like people have warning when the bad guys blow up your planet.  There is no evacuation time.

 I’ve mentioned her a bit so Jannah, again, other than it’s cool there are more women in the galaxy, just took up screen time for other characters to develop.  Were they trying to insinuate she could be Lando’s daughter, because that makes zero sense!  And why all of a sudden he’s champion of finding the lost families of the galaxy is super weird.  Also, it was cool to see him flying the Falcon and all, but did he really add anything other than gravitas from the original trilogy?  I’m usually a huge fan of fanservice, but I didn’t really feel like a fan being serviced.  I felt like someone constantly having nice things thrown at me so I won’t notice the murder being done in the other room.  A nice shot of Wedge, too.

 So many extra resistance people always there.  Like I love Dom, but why was he there?

 But talking of other people really who the heck is Maz?  I mean she just shows up out of nowhere and knows everything about the Force and the Jedi and people’s pasts and what their decisions are and we don’t have a clue why.  Like who is she?  How does she know these things?  Where does she even come from?  Like why does she talk about Leia trying to reach Ben and why does she smile when Leia dies, what does she know that we don’t and why?

 I guess now for the really hard stuff.  Rey and Ben.

 They were the only ones who really got developed and even then, I think Ben got robbed out of his ending.

 So Rey’s heritage. Being a Palpatine, very disappointing. If there’s one good thing I liked about TLJ it was the idea that you didn’t have to be part of some great bloodline to be special in the Force.  The Force doesn’t care who your parents are.  Most of the great Force users we know have literally nothing to do with who their parents are.  If anything, it has more to do with their lineage of training.  So JJ basically saying screw that idea and forcing Rey into that was very disappointing. And apparently electricity is very genetic…Dooku aside, of course!  It also implies the Dark side in her is because of the Palpatine heritage.  But the Dark Side of the Force exists for a reason, for balance, and provides something important to the galaxy.  It’s already proven even the Lightest of users and bloodlines have that pull.  

 Rey has been alone and searching for family this whole time.  Having someone to belong to was important to her.  But…the message of her finding a family and joining one, I think is a lot more important than her finding out her past and heritage.  Just being Rey at the end instead of having to say she was Rey Skywalker or Rey Solo would have made more sense!  Of course…I also think Solo makes more sense for her anyway given her connection with Han, her training with Leia, and her bond with Ben. She did train under Luke as well, granted, but she had more Solo connection than Skywalker.  They just wanted the cool name.  But also doesn’t make sense since Palps calls Ben the last Skywalker in the movie as well.  But whatever, I don’t really care.

 Let’s talk about this whole dyad in the Force thing and the grand plan.  Because I can’t logically reason it out myself.

 So Palps apparently has a plan to bring Rey to him as a girl so he can have her kill him and his spirit can go into her body and he can reign through her because his old body is like super fried and the clone thing ain’t working so hot.  Doesn’t happen, but he’s also working on his other plans to corrupt Ben and bring him to the Dark side, under the influence of Snoke, to do what?  Like what is his plan there apart from just general evil and revenge and nasty stuff? But all along there’s apparently been this Dark prophecy against Ben (and we all know Palps is the manipulator of the Dark).  Luke said Leia gave up her Jedi training because she sensed that at the end of that journey was her son’s death.  You’d think then they’d honor that sacrifice by not killing him, but whatever.

 Palps created or controlled or was at the back of Snoke (however he was at the back of Snoke) and so he’s pulling the strings during TLJ.  He knows everything Snoke knows.  So if Snoke created the bond between Rey and Ben, then he’d be very aware of that.  So how does the whole dyad thing work?  Because it’s made very clear Palps doesn’t know about the dyad, otherwise he likely wouldn’t have tried to do the dark ritual/strike me down plan first when it would have been so much easier to get them both together to drain them.

 So…have they always been a dyad from birth?  Was the dyad created separate from the bond when Snoke created the bond?  A Light balance to the Dark bond?  Regardless of how, clearly they are one soul and connected more powerfully than anyone else in generations.

 But Palps and his plan…he tells Ben to kill Rey.  What was he actually trying to do since it’s clear he didn’t want Rey dead?

 My only thought is that he thought Rey would actually kill Ben and thus give in to her Dark side and be more ready to be Empress…

 But Leia’s sacrifice and all of that still confuses me.  Palps said that Leia interfered with his plans.  

 Now in that fight Rey was the instigator, was the one trying to wreak damage (freaked out by her vision and revelations, I’m sure) and Ben was the one winning that fight. Like he was going to win until Leia stopped him.  But was he going to kill her?  Because I think it’s pretty clear that Ben has never wanted to kill Rey even if he was trying at first before the bond really started.  Either way, Leia stops him from doing something and Rey stabs him instead. Then Leia dies and snaps Rey out of it. Was it the reaching out to Ben or the death that Palps was talking about interfering with his plans?  Because again…he didn’t want Rey dead at that point.

 I don’t know. Having a fleet full of ships hidden for how long, when did those weapons go into place, who’s manning the ships? Because apparently there’s the regular First Order fleet still out there conveniently being taken down by the rest of the galaxy after this fleet burns, so have these recruits just been sitting out there, chilling at Exegol for years, waiting for this order and attack? Total side tangent and question really, but it all makes no sense.

 Leia’s death…so much speculation on why her body didn’t vanish until Ben died.  There has to be something significant there and I’d really love to know if it’s a future plan or if it was part of the original end of the movie since clearly it was changed.  Maz smiles, remember.  Also…is she somehow giving her life for Ben’s to bring him back?  She’s clearly a Force Ghost at the end of the movie.

 Okay…so Han memory.  I did like that and I did like that Ben could get absolution from his dad and have that be the final thing that turns him from Kylo to Ben.  I wasn’t sure I could forgive Ben ever after TFA.  I cried so much and I was so mad.  That’s Han Solo, y’all.  HAN FRIKKING SOLO.  I mean how do you even kill Han Solo?

 Granted, I think we were all robbed of a story where Han and Leia are a united front raising their kid and trying to protect him from danger, but that’s just me.  I mean we could have had The Mummy 2 in space, guys. ROBBED!  Someone write that AU, please.

 And can we just talk about Adam Driver’s acting for a moment?  I mean, the boy is phenomenal.  He goes from being one person to being a completely different one effortlessly.  From the moment he throws the light saber in the sea, his mannerisms and physicality is so different.  It’s amazing. Kudos to him.  Absolutely.  Oscar worthy! He does it without having any lines whatsoever apart from ‘ow.’  And I like Ben Solo and I’m sad we didn’t get to see more of him.  He’s so Han’s boy, so Han’s boy.  Love that!  He’s an awesome character in his good boy sweater.  (Love the sweater and while we’re on the subject, could him and Chris Evans have a sweater off with the good boy sweater and the white knit sweater please?)

 Hey, Luke got to raise a X Wing finally.  That’s the kind of fan service I’m talking about.

 One of my favorite parts of the movie actually was the whole Jedi from the past bit.  Mostly because I saw my boy Kanan getting his recognition and rightful spot as one of the great Jedi, up there with Obi Wan and Anakin and Ahsoka!  I also loved Ahsoka being there and the other Clone Wars greats.  Really cool.  I do kind of wish they had included Ezra, too, but that’s just me loving on my Space Blueberry!  And wishing James Arnold Taylor who put so much into Obi Wan could have at least done Plo Koon since Ewan took his place as Obi Wan.  Either way, that was the only homage and respect paid to the other two trilogies and the Star Wars legend in general.  The only acknowledgement of how much sacrifice and history went into this franchise before now.

 Now…can Rey kill Palps now and not have his spirit go into her because he’d already made himself revitalized with their dyad energy or was it because no ritual had been done?  Just wondering.  Or was it a loophole since all she did was defend herself and his own lightning killed him?

 There’s a lot about energy and healing and the Force in this and so you can speculate all over the place about what the rules are.  (You’d think in the Clone Wars healing each other would have been a thing!) And since we’ve never deal with a dyad before, we don’t know how it works.  But it really kind of feels like even with how drained both of them were after Palps took their bond…it either should have been returned to them when he died or their combined energy should have been able to keep both of them alive. Or something.  Two in one means connection and honestly, I feel like both of them should have died or both of them should have lived.

 I know a lot of people think it was the perfect end for Ben because he redeemed himself (like Anakin) and there would have been no place for him in the galaxy after all the evil Kylo had done.  (Much less if you read the comics!)  But I’m a sucker for a redemption story and I think the hardest punishment always is to face your past and work through what you’ve done instead of taking the easy way out of death (not having to actually atone).  I think it’s a beautiful potential for forgiveness and grace and realizing none of us can really save ourselves.

 And whatever you think of Kylo/Ben or his ending, it’s clear something was changed at the last minute.  There’s a whole lot of editing done on that last scene when he revives her and they kiss and on Tattoine.  There are apparently screen tests people swear they saw where he didn’t die.  I won’t go into the scene analysis some Reylos have, but jaw moving and talking on Rey shots that were cut, it looking more natural for her to have been pulling him back up rather than him falling down, it looks like his hand is the one in the burying lightsaber scene…  He was obviously supposed to live at some point and why they changed their minds, I don’t know.  He is one of the most popular characters and they lost a cash cow when they killed him off.  Silly idiots.

 As far as Rey goes, I also think that’s terribly unfair, to give her the connection she’s been yearning for her whole life and instead of giving her a future, you stick her back on a sand infested planet, sliding down in a parallel to TFA, and burying the past sabers, and being alone.  I know she’s still got friends and stuff but I think she won’t know her new place in all of this and she’s going to feel very lonely.  

 Also, where did the yellow saber come from?  Did she cleanse Ben’s saber?  Did she find a new kyber crystal of her own?  Come on now…don’t be mysterious and weird.  Normally I can take mysteries being unsolved if great care is taken to resolve relationships and characters and this trilogy and story did neither, so no love from me.

 As for shipping them.  I didn’t really through the first two movies.  I was curious to see what would happen, but I could have gone either way. I did ship them after this one.  I do love two broken people finding solace in each other.  And I think there is such potential there for these characters and as a relationship that could have been done so much better and wasn’t and that’s what is the saddest thing of all.

 I really have an urge to write an AU…Luke Skywalkers’ Academy for Sensitive Younglings (title patent pending) and rewrite the whole stupid thing.  I fear I have neither the time nor inspiration for that. But I would dearly love to see awkward teenage versions of these characters growing up and learning and being stupid and given a chance to become the best versions of themselves. My vision of the future.

 Probably in another 30 years there will be a fully formed, all ready to go evil Empire that no one has done anything to stop anyway…

 So there we go. I probably have more to say but that’s all I got and that’s with taking notes!

[ayankun]

real quick before I get into season 6

So this is my second time watching Season 6 and I’m p. excited.  This last week or so I’ve been dredging up bits and pieces, but most of it is a blur.  It seems the memories that lasted this whole year were mostly of the huge armored truck and the nonbinary character who works at *spoilers*’s tech startup.

I’m curious to see if the second time through it’ll settle in like it belongs.  I remember Season 5 really didn’t make any sense to me until I saw it again.

But really I’m just excited that in 11 hours I can watch the new stuff?!

But first, before I forget, here’s my last thoughts on Season 5.

So remember how I was surprised at Season 1′s structure, that it folded up nicely down the middle with some pretty tidy symmetry?

None of the other seasons do that.

Instead, I remember particularly strongly how jarring the end of the Ghost Rider arc was in the middle of Season 4.  And then again when the (what I’m calling) Kasius arc also wrapped up mid-season.

I’m not sure when I read about it, but it probably was circa Ghost Rider, that they’d intentionally decided on what I’m pretty sure they called “pods” of episodes, these seasons-within-a-season sort of narratives.

Season 2 sort of kicks it off, what with the race to Terragenesis taking eps 1-10 and the Afterlife/splinter SHIELD stories filling 11-22.  Then Season 3 has the monolith/Maveth mystery to start, followed by Hive & the Inhumans for the second half.  S4 is super poddy, obviously branded as Ghost Rider/Agents of Hydra, and S5 also splits neatly into future!Lighthouse and present day!Lighthouse.

Two points to make on this:

Kasius is such a rockstar villain that I feel really bad for Hale/Ruby/Talbot.  They’re so apples and oranges but having the highlight come first allows for unfavorable comparisons to be made.  It’s like asking any well-to-do Kree to compare Xandarian snail to oops all berries.

Good thing they’d had all this practice writing complete stories in 12 eps, since I’m hoping Season 6 (and obvs Season 7) will still feel as fully formed as their longer antecedents.

Anyway, that first point is my major point for S5.

S3 already feels like the second half of S2, and its internal halves are the most similar to each other as any of the other “pods,” so it’s not like people have a reason to go around saying “I liked the first half of the season waaay better than the second.”

(although I might.  I might say that, actually.  but not because the halves were branded separately from one another)

And S4, though the two halves are barely identifiable as coming from the same show much less the same season, they’re both good.  Robbie Reyes is perfect.  The effort to incorporate new MCU topics/aesthetic from Doctor Strange is great.  Robots who just want to be a real girl is my JAM.  All the Framework cameos really make my day!  And then Robbie Reyes comes back all deus ex machina (ironic) and saves the day, and

it makes sense that he does because the function and nature of the Darkhold was well established in part 1 and

it’s GREAT that he does because he’s perfect and we miss him.

Then here comes S5.  I really really respect so much about the creative decisions that took the story where it went (ie, outside Papa MCU’s sphere of interference), and getting to reuse the same set in a different context while minimizing “on-location” shoots is just technical and financial genius, okay. 

But there’s so much about the first half, in the future, that compels me waaaaaaay more than the gritty anger of the second half. 

Kasius, WOW what a villain.  Dominic Rains, everyone.  I have nothing unkind to say about the performance, the character, anything.  Impeccable.  Spectacular.  Perfection.

The mystery of the season opener!  We had the tag scene where Coulson’s “in space” and plenty of time to ruminate on the how and why, especially with Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 coming out right as S4 ended and Thor: Ragnarok literally sizzling in the theaters at the same time as this season started.  They answer the question by the end of the episode, but not before several characters come up with and pursue several different theories, and that’s fun.

What a way to capitalize on the Inhuman storyline your show’s been about for years now, without forcing Papa MCU to contend with all this good work you’ve been doing.  Just go somewhere he can’t reach you (the future), and then un-write all of it anyway.  V. tidy.�� Extra style points will be awarded.

LEITMOTIFS.  If y’all’ve seen BSG, then you know Bear McCreary is a master of the art.  But this season has so many good themes, my friends.  The Daisy/Quake theme that’s been knocking around for a season is here in full force, and Sinara’s is the best bad guy theme you could have wanted, and dearest sweetest Flint has the best great guy theme you ever heard.

Just, while we’re here.  Sinara.  She says nothing for episodes (it feels like, I wasn’t counting) and her first line is a scornfully growled “compassion.”  Give it up for Florence Faivre !!!  She hardly has any lines but you always know exactly what she’s thinking and what she’s about.  Sinara and Kasius have the richest on-screen chemistry of anybody on any show from any era fight me on this I dare you.

Mack’s coming down from his second life in the Framework, and that suuuuucks that these folks never have a moment to rest before barreling into their next story.  But he gets to be a father to Flint!  And Yo-Yo gets to be a mother!!!  UGH why couldn’t they have brought Flint instead of Deke lololol oh well.

I think I know another reason why Lincoln seems overhyped to me.  That other Inhuman, Ben I think his name is?  He’s in like two episodes, serves a narrative purpose, and is disposed.  I know Lincoln’s in like 18 times as many episodes but they have the same exact overall impact on my brain-hole.  Imagine if it was Ben that came back with them instead of Deke.  That’s how I feel about Lincoln.  Like, how did this obviously disposable character make it this far?

Then you have Deke.  You love to hate him.  He’s a very well-fashioned character who is flawless in making you feel the way the showrunners want you to feel.  That’s the kind of character that gets killed off twice and still comes back, and it doesn’t surprise you.

So, Enoch.  Enoch is everyone’s favorite character, right?  Right.  Give me genderless robots with a soft spot for humanity ANY DAY.  PLEASE where are they I need them.  (I’m un-repressing memories of S6 and I feel like somehow I should be careful what I wish for)  Man I remember with 1000% clarity the absolute glee I felt sitting down for the opening montage of S5 the first time, how ballsy weird it was, just watching this freaky bald alien of a man go swimming with some fun electro pop number playing in the background.  100/10 please make more television like this

 More monoliths!!  The time one is so pretty!

(remember when there were more monoliths and no one knew where they came from or what they did but then it didn’t matter because they got instantly exploded?)

The low-key obvious answers to the season’s questions, what with the Inhumans running all over the shop, Quake there to tear everything down and Flint there to put the pieces back together I’m not crying you’re crying

Oh man, and Simmons getting to mentor not one but two Inhuman youths to be confident and trust in themselves and their powers.  What a ways from the fear-panic response to Daisy when she turned.

Also, yeah, it has to be said, this show’s blatant “you’re different and that’s okay” agenda sits very well with me.  Agents of SHIELD says LGBTQ+ rights!

So anyway, part 2 falls a little flat for me because its strength is its themes, but I’m not really compelled by the stakes and definitely not by the villains and not really even by the intra-team drama.

Obviously S2 touched on parenthood, but it was pretty specific.  S5 digs in and brings us a lot more on the topic.

Kasius desperately desires his father’s approval but very deeply despises the methods and the people who earn it.

Hale was indoctrinated by Hydra and was very earnest in wanting to uphold the values of the organization, until the organization (and Whitehall) shared with her their narrow appreciation of the gift of her loyalty.  Even then, she struggles to make sense of this loyalty, only realizing too late that being a good Hydra pawn and a good parent are categorically mutually exclusive.

Ruby, obviously, is like a mini-Kasius, the brave-faced rebel who wears her mother’s disappointment on her sleeve like a badge of honor to pretend that it isn’t crippling her.

The Von Strucker kid, boy is he messed up (and his Hydra dad had something to do with it)

((echos of Ward are still heard even this far after his demise, and we know what his father figures were like))

Poor Talbot, got some brain damage and some Hydra conditioning on top of that, cracked that noggin wide open.  He just wanted to do good by his family.  Just wanted his son to know he loves him.

Polly and Robin.  The daughter who needs constant special care because she’s stuck inside her own mind and the mother who’s been through hell and back and still manages to do her best.  Even when she knows she won’t always be there for her daughter.  Even when she knows she’ll be replaced.

May getting a glimpse at the life she and Andrew once talked about.  Getting a chance to do right by that little girl.

Mack recovering from getting that same glimpse, from the echoing memories of a life time spent with his greatest regret erased.  Being roped into being a thug and threatening that dad without knowing the meaning behind his threat -- being told that people like him don’t deserve the privilege of parenthood.  But then getting to know Flint, and having Yo-Yo at his side while they fast track this kid through all the things he’s gonna need to know in order to be the Big Damn Hero the world needs him to be.

The timey-wimey promise that FitzSimmons will one day be parents to a brilliant daughter who will unfortunately give birth to a Deke.

Coulson and Daisy.  Another parent placing enormous expectations on his daughter, desperate that she be ready for his responsibilities because his time is running out.  A daughter who mishandles these expectations and refuses to stop fighting a losing battle, not because she’s not ready to step up, but because she doesn’t want to face the fact that she’s losing the man who raised her.

Anyway, aside from all this good Theme work, part 2 wades perfunctorily through musty remnants of the previous season, from The Doctor to The Russian.  Which makes sense, because that season ended in a way that left so many loose threads -- but then this season comes along and summarily ties them up, all cute little bows, the lot of them.  Dusts its hands.  Nothing to see here.  Move along now.  Time’s up.

[treatian]

The Chronicles of the Dark One:  The Dark Curse

Chapter 98:  Keeping Busy

He'd gotten away with it. That was his conclusion thus far, at least. The Dark Curse had been in his possession for just over two years now and yet…nothing. No trouble from the Apprentice, who still lived in the same house he'd always lived in. No visits from the dastardly Blue Fairy, who he was certain would find him the instant she realized the Curse was gone. And no unfortunate encounters with the three women that he had used to help him get it. They'd lived, sadly. He'd felt certain that they would be destroyed by that Chernabog, or that at least one of them would be, but he'd later discovered all had miraculously survived. In fact, all were still in the Enchanted Forest, a fact which shocked him to no end. Why Cruella hadn't tried harder to find her way home was a mystery to him, but he didn't really care. Ever since that day, he'd had other things to worry about. And worry he did.

Sometimes he found himself thinking that it might have been better before he had the Curse in his possession. Over the last two years, he'd come to the conclusion that it had been just as protected on Bald Mountain as it was in his tower. He might not have had the chance to examine it then, but now that he had it he felt antsy. He was always riddled with anxiety and stress and especially desire. He wanted to use it. From the first moment he'd held it, some part of him had wanted to take it to Regina and get her to cast it! For half a second he thought that he might be able to. When he'd met her that night in his castle it was clear she was angry, quite obviously so with Snow White. She'd had a desire that night to see the Princess dead, but he'd had to remind himself that was one of the reasons it wouldn't work. He didn't want her to have Snow White die, she needed to want Snow White to suffer. Long ago she had wanted her to suffer, but he needed more than "want". Regina had to need to make her suffer. It had to be a potent need, undeniable, so much more than what it was now. It had to be overwhelming. Overwhelming enough to sentence an entire realm to the same fate Snow had. Overwhelming enough to kill her father.

He was right, just like he'd always assumed. The Curse did require a heart. And for this powerful a curse it would extract a great price. It would take the heart of the person most beloved by the caster. That was a good thing for him. It meant that no matter how tempted he was to cast it, he couldn't, as the person he loved most was out of reach. But it was bad news for Regina's father. One day, when that hate of hers continued to grow until it was all-consuming, his death would seem like a small sacrifice, naught but a step on the path to getting everything she ever wanted. If he tried to convince her to do it now, it would backfire. She'd be so insulted and upset by just the situation that she'd probably never speak to him.

The time wasn't right. And he knew it because the Seer took great pleasure in reminding him over and over again that the timing wasn't right yet. He could, if he wanted to, find someone to cast it now, but what good would it do if there was no Savior? No one to break his Curse? He'd now examined the Curse top to bottom. He knew how strong it was and what it did was no longer theory or speculation. It was designed to take him, all of those the caster chose, to another land, one without magic. It would erase memories, torment the heroes of this land, render everyone magic and happy ending free for as long as it endured. Time would stop. They would cease to age. The outside world would be aware of their existence but only just, only those that needed to know about them. All others would feel a compulsion not to come near the borders of whatever the caster created. They would be part of that world and isolated from it at the same time. That was why he needed to be able to break that Curse. Things could go on there forever without someone to help them out of that mess. He needed the child of Snow White and Prince James, the Swan, the Savior. But for now, she wasn't even a twinkle in her parent's eyes. Not yet. And from the looks of things between Regina and Snow, and the number of blonde, brunette, and red-headed women the False Prince entertained in his room each night, the girl wasn't to be born for years yet. Years…but not decades. Snow White was of age to deliver a child. Women could only bear children for so long without magical assistance. It wouldn't be long before those years were gone. Sometime in the next ten years, this was bound to happen!

But that didn't take away the temptation. The nights were the hardest part. When he was lonely, when spinning was no longer sufficient, when he wondered where Bae was and the sort of man he had become...it made the waiting damn near intolerable.

So he distracted himself. In these last two years, he'd come up with new ways to keep himself busy and distracted, anything to keep from counting the days and breaking down and finding someone else to cast the Curse. Oh, he did what he needed to do. He continued to see Regina whenever he could. After a time of letting her work on her own, with the Curse imminent, he'd been slipping back into her life, pressing himself closer to be sure that she was prepared magically and mentally for what was coming. She hated it and had begun to rebel against him, trying to outsmart and trick him in an effort to prove she was the better sorcereress. She didn't understand that wasn't possible, but he let her have her fun. It was no harm to him.

And in the meantime, there were always deals to be made. Deals kept him busy. Useless as they were. At least they were entertaining.

There was a girl who wanted to marry the prince that was in love with her sister. He arranged for it to happen, but also watched as the marriage fell apart. He couldn't make someone fall in love, and despite the wedding, the prince went on loving the sister and not her.

There was the farmer who wanted a cursed apple tree, one which would grow poisoned apples so that he might be able to cause his neighbor to die and therefore acquire their land. He found the rare seed to create such a fruit but not being one of magical blood and the tree being made of strong magic that needed special tending, most of the fruit had died before maturing. The few apples that survived were sold, but they didn't make the farmer enough to save his own property. In the end, they lost their farm to the neighbors they'd hoped to poison, and somewhere out there in the world there were five healthy poisoned apples just waiting to be bit into.

There was King Midas, a ruler in a Kingdom neighboring Regina's, his Kingdom had been going poor when suddenly he'd been struck by a terrible curse, or so he thought. King Midas was, in fact, a descendant of the King who owned the castle of gold that he'd visited just after he'd become the Dark One. The previous Dark Ones had always told him that they had never taken away that king's ability to turn items to gold, merely hidden it away somewhere in his bloodline, where it would one day rear its ugly head. The head had finally reared. And in exchange for some very useful information, he crafted a glove for the offending limb so that his dear daughter Princess Abigail might not suffer the same fate as his ancestor's daughter. As for the information he'd learned...it was all about the daughter.

Abigail was a key player, or at least she was going to be. The second that he met the King, the Seer began to whisper in his head about Abigail and the connection she shared, or one day would with Prince Charming. It was all very convoluted and difficult to sort through. The Seer showed him vision after vision of an unhappy Prince Charming by the side of an equally unhappy Princess Abigail. They were engaged. It would be the catalyst for Prince Charming to seek out Snow White. The only problem was that at the moment George's Kingdom had no connection at all that he could see with Midas's. There was no reason for two perfectly happy royals to unhappily lash themselves together. The Seer's appearance made one thing clear about it: he'd have to do something. So he was working on it. He had an idea that he was prepared to put in place whenever Regina tired of chasing her step-daughter around her Kingdom. But until that day, it was a moot point.

But his favorite of all the deals he made, by far, was the fun brought on by a pompous King, who, of all things, demanded clothes. With all his riches, the King claimed that he'd never found clothes that were good enough for him, or so the King had thought anyway.

"I deserve the best! When I look in the mirror, I want to see my riches, see the greatest clothes anyone could ever wear! I want there to be no doubt exactly who I am."

Pompous Ass. He'd smiled as he'd made his deal and cast his spell. He was going to enjoy watching it. With one spell, he tricked the King, altered his eyesight. Now when he looked at himself or in the mirror, what he saw was a lie. His eyes and the mirror showed him the most beautiful garments he'd ever seen in his life. But all he was actually wearing was nothing. He walked about naked as a lark, striding as the people laughed at him. It would take him a while to figure out what had happened, if he managed to figure it out. The spell would wear off in a few days time, long enough for him to learn his lesson. And he'd gotten a wonderful new wardrobe out of the deal as his price had been all the King's former clothes. New pants, new boots, beautiful silk shirts, and several vests as well as a couple of new jackets made out of alligator skin. The collars were high, the clothing added layer after layer to him, but he liked it. When he left the castle, he felt protected and guarded, as if he was wearing a costume. He felt safe. And once he was finally home, he was free to shed his jacket, his new skin, and make himself as comfortable as possible. Which would never be true comfort, at least not until his Curse was cast.

He kept busy, taking on each new task given to him, damn near rejoicing every time he felt a summons or a heard a call.

Or every time a bird flew into his little tower...

He jumped suddenly when this one appeared. He'd been so caught up in watching Snow White hide from some of Regina's guards that he hadn't anticipated the arrival of the little dove that flew in his window, swooped down over his head before landing on the table in front of him. It cooed and held out its leg so that he could see the scroll, which had been carefully fixed to it. Another request, he hoped delicately freeing the bird of its burden so that it could soar once more out the window and back to wherever home was. And where was home? He carefully unfurled the scroll to its full size, used a bit of magic to restore it to what it was before it's long journey had begun, and checked first and foremost the signature at the bottom, just to see where it came from. He liked to have the upper hand in all things, even if the individual wasn't in the room yet and it was just in letter form.

A wide smile spread over his face as he saw the signature and tiny stamp at the bottom.

"Well, well, well…it is about time Your Majesty," he muttered as he sauntered over to his fireplace while reading:

Dark One, Many years ago, you helped to rid my daughter of her ailments, though I disagreed with your methods of magic and the price extracted I cannot deny its effectiveness. Before you departed, you offered us help in conquering our problem with the ogres and I informed you that the help was not necessary. However, recently, things have changed. Our Kingdom is on the brink of collapse and devastation if something is not done to control the creatures and push them back. In exchange for your help, we are willing to offer you gold and jewels. My council meets in one week to prepare a strategy. I would be most gracious if we could arrange a meeting prior to which we might discuss options. Faithfully, your servant, King Maurice.

He let out a giggle at the conclusion and propped his feet up on the footrest. His heart jumped and whirled with entertainment. The letter had been perfect in every way.

The haughtiness of the King shone through in his wording. If he closed his eyes, he could practically see quills snapping in the King's hands as he struggled to write phrases that were neither truth nor lie, cordial but controlling. How had he known? He'd never seen the day that the King took him up on his offer, not from the Seer at least, but in a way, he had always known that it was bound to come up. After all, the girl was important in some way, that much the Seer had told him. The King's involvement was questionable, but there was never a doubt in his mind that one day Belle would come back into play. It seemed that day had finally arrived. He wasn't the least bit surprised that it was through her father. But, all things considering, from their previous encounter and the letter he held in his hand now, he could see that the King's patience for him was waning. He could chase the ogres away at a price that was reasonable, keep the King happy, keep the daughter a bit closer to him so that when he learned what her role was in the future he was a friendly face. But there were so many other ways to handle this situation than kowtowing to the King.

With a snap of his fingers, the fireplace beside him burst to life. He crumpled the paper into a ball and tossed it in, where it erupted in flames.

He knew what he was going to do. The King wasn't the important one in this equation; the Princess was. And he'd seen enough of her in his cauldron and crystal ball since that day he'd cured her to know her type of character, or at least suspect. Perhaps it was time to test that theory by cutting out the middle man.

He let out a gasp as the Seer suddenly spoke. From deep with the recesses of his mind, he heard her whisper, "This is the beginning…"

[whenimgoodandready]

(grabs the speaker hanging above) Attention everyone! This your conductor/reviewer speaking, for today’s review, we’ll be goin’ for a ride from Point A to Point B and as we journey in this state of the art revolutionary industrialistic mechanism, we’ll be seeing some oh so interesting sights along the way such as an adorable shipping moment, a view from our own Milky Way galaxy and a new superhero in combat! So please fasten your seatbelts, sit back, relax and do enjoy the ride, All aboard! (pulls the trains caboose and it sounds):

*Startrain-Ms.Bustiers class is taking a field trip to London, WHOA! London!? Damn! Wish my field trips were fun! They’re taking the Startrain! (not the villain) You know, that fancy modern looking bullet train that goes from the city of love to the Queen in seconds from “Bakerix”!? Yeah, that Startrain! Foreshadowing! Unfortunately, poor Marinette can’t go cuz if she does, Hawk Moth will have an advantage on akumatizing someone and they’ll be no Ladybug there to purify the akuma. On occasion, this is one of those eps where she acts responsible and not impulsive (depending on the writer), but Master Fu allows her to go cuz she needs a break! She works harder than anyone in Paris, France! She deserves a vacation! But! she’s still responsible, so Fu gives her the horse miraculous (power of teleportation) in case there’s any danger. Smart! As for Adrien, he sneaks off to his field trip cuz Gabe barely lets him go anywhere. Hey! Let the kid go eat a crumpet! Besides, it’s not the first time he’s run off to go do something against his fathers wishes. Nice guys can rebel! Elsewhere, Sabrina’s father, Lieutenant Roger, is bald-I mean! Running late on getting his daughter onboard cuz he’s too distracted by his code of honor on the force to focus which has the akuma go after him. Oh great! We’re gonna have Robocop again, okay, let’s see how this-wait what!? He calmed down? Oh cool. Sorry little akuma, run along! Nice try there Hawk Moth. Looks like Rogers hair isn’t the only thing receding over here! (Badum-tish🥁).

The class genius, Max Kanté, is excited cuz his mother, Dr.Claudie Kanté, is the conductor for the Startrain. Hey! Look at that! We’re expanding even more on Marinettes classmates and their families! Yea! We need to know more about these kids. As cool as it is to operate a train, Dr.Kantés real dream is to be an astronaut! She had to put that aside to support her son, but now that he’s all grown up and is a genius who can pretty much take care of himself, she’s free to follow her true passion. All she needs to do now is just wait for her results in her e-mail if she passed her exam to go into space. So she waits.......and waits......and waits.......and waits.......and waits.......and-Hey! Let’s see what’s goin’ in the train!

The Startrains futuristically fun! Service droids roaming around asking the passengers for drinks and automatically handing it to them! Are these things real! I’d love for them to be real! Chloe was in First Class (why bother, it’s still a cool train?) while the other kids were just being kids playing video games, drawing, browsing on their iPhones, yawning!? Oops! That’s Marinette. She’s exhausted from her earlier crime fighting and is just taking a nap. Good-night girl! Alya asks Adrien to switch seats with her to be with her boyfriend, Nino (😉), and he says yes. Here’s the part where everyone goes, “Awwwww”. I’ve seen fan art of this particular moment, the moment that’s so precious and so soft, there’s a word for it. Sleep Cute! The ✨Adrienette Sleep Cute!✨It’s now canon! Awwwwwww. The girl squad and everyone else think it’s the cutest thing in the world and they just-(record scratch) Wait! What’s Lila doing there!? Hey! Lila! No! Bad Lila! SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING! Alya! Thank God! Thank you girl! The leader of the squad saved the moment! Take that! Lila! The people may believe every word you say, but when it comes to the girl squads Adrienette ship, don’t.rock.the.boat!*snap**snap* Mmmhmm.

Wait! We’re not on a boat! We’re on a train! Lol! Forgot where I was for a moment there! Dr.Kanté grows impatient with her e-mail wait and thinks she probably failed her exam and that’s when the akuma comes (was it just fluttering around aimlessly?) in making her into Startrain. She’s a sci fi looking villainess who’s right arm is attached to the “dead mans switch” (or else it’s a dead stop) and makes the whole train, containing its passenger, her own rocket ship! Going all Magic Schhol Bus on them. 10.....9.....8.....7.....6.....5.....4.....3.....2.....1! BLAST OFF! 💥🚀💥And we have lift off! It’s a space case adventure and I had no idea how this was gonna go! Our heroes were in space with zero gravity! Where no one can hear them scream! Don! Don! Don!

Hmmmm, so another parent from Marinettes classmates has been akumatized and Ladybug and Cat Noir need extra help......I think we all know who that is. Ladies and gentleman, the holder of the horse miraculous, Max Kanté! A.k.a. Pegasus! (trumpets sound). Well, we all knew from “Party Crasher” anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . His Kwamie is a British accented uppity pony like being named Kaalki, the miraculous: a pair of glasses, the weapon: two horse shoes and it’s power:(we already know) teleportation by saying, “Voyage” that opens up a huge portal to wherever they want.

(grabs the speaker hanging above) Thank you for riding the Startrain, please unbuckle your seatbelts, take your belongings and exit in an orderly fashion as we come to our destination. We apologize for the inconvenience of our unexpected space odyssey as that was not planned in our schedule, but we thank you for staying calm throughout the journey. Have a nice day! It’s interesting how Marinette managed to get the highest score in “Ladybug” for her quiz (really? Even more so than Max!?) despite having to juggle her school work along with her superhero duties and social life and yet she felt drowsy here after another unseen supervillain fight. Well, since this ep took place before “Ladybug” she must’ve handled it better later. As for Adrien, let us count the ways he’s rebelled against Gabe: 1. Ditching his bodyguard to sneak off to the movies (“The Puppeteer”), 2. Running away to go to school (“Origins Part:1-2”), 3. Running away to blow off some steam (“A Christmas Special”), 4. Stealing the miraculous book (“The Collector”), 5. Sneaking off to see his moms movie (“Gorizilla”), 6. Lying about going to fencing practice to instead go on a date with Kagami (“Frozer”), 7. Having a party with Gabe gone (“Party Crasher”) and 8. Ditching fencing practice again with Kagami to hang out with their friends (“Desperada”). It’s all very reasonable cuz he has an overprotective (evil) father, lives in a mansion full of mostly stone cold people and is VERY lonely and miserable! Who wouldn’t wanna get away from all that!? Lieutenant Roger is blind to his daughters slavitude towards Chloe and just thinks she’s “serving and protecting” by being a “good friend”. Ironic that he’s a cop and doesn’t notice the injustice in this. Whomp! Whomp! Whomp! A little thing we learned about the akumas, Hawk Moth can’t control ‘em if they’re a distance away! Like space! He also reluctantly had to see his plan fail cuz Adrien was on the Startrain in space and was forced to let the good guys win for his sons sake. Was this the first time it happened? Cuz I think so. No Queen Bee in this ep cuz Chloe dear, you’re retired! I’m sensing her distraught over this is the reason for her third akumatization in the finale *cough*BattleoftheMiraculousPart2:MiracleQueen*cough* Yeah, wait for it. Another thing is Alya has a second blog for astronomy, so she’s not limited to her Ladyblog. That’s good! Give her a new hobby so she won’t look one-dimensional. So this was the space episode and sadly, there were no space related power-ups :P. Damn it! I wanted to see Ladybug and Cat Noir in space outfits! We see a member of Maxes family and we find out he has a mother who operates the Startrain, but really wants to be an astronaut. Hey, we’ve all been there. Stuck at a dead end job you had to take to support a family instead of following your dreams on what you really wanted to do. I can relate! I wanted to be a writer! I love books and reading, so I wanted to create some myself. Unfortunately, I wasn’t motivated much and didn’t get any support, so now I’m just a medical assistant to put bread on the table. That’s it! The closest I get to my writing career is writing in these reviews on my blog! It’s fine, just cuz I can’t do my real passion, doesn’t mean I have to stop. Right? Least Claudies dream came true. Congratulations girl! Boldly go where (no) man has gone before! (salutes). What everyone was really talking about was the Sleep Cute Adrienette moment :). When Marinette fell asleep on Adrien, he allowed it and even fell asleep as well. Wether you see it as either him being a gentlemen and not disturbing her or him just subconsciously being in love with her is up to you (I’m mixed on both, but mostly on the former). Lila was almost a c*ckblocker in that moment, but thanks to Shipper On Deck Alya, it was thwarted! Yea-ah! Really Lila, another “illness” you have? First it was tinnitus and arthritis (“Chameleon”), then it was “a lying problem” (“Ladybug”) and now you’re saying “motion sickness”! It’s amazing she’s able to walk! Isn’t anyone concerned!? Well, people almost saw her ruin the Adrienette moment which would make everyone start being suspicious of Lila as they all vouched for Marinette (“Ladybug”). Max is Pegasus! And his transformation had a techno beat! Cool! However, his powers were the same as Bunnyx. Teleportation! Why is that!? Viperion has a similar power to Bunnyx too, time travel! Why are all three of these the same!? I prefer each miraculous power to be individually different to stand out! This better not happen again with the other miraculouses! The miraculous for the horse miraculous was a pair of glasses.........glasses?........and it went to Max......how convenient 😒. As someone who’s born in the Year of the Horse, this was most disappointing. Guess I’m just like Kaalki who has high expectations and wants to be representative of my Chinese sign with “grace, beauty, nobility and freedom”.

[twilightofthe]

Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ahsoka Tano, annnnnnnd Luke Skywalker

Probs gonna be a long post since I Cannot Shut Up, so here we go!

OBI WAN (see look I told you this was gonna be long)

How I feel about them:  HELLO HI YES I LOVE HIM A NORMAL AMOUNT.  Okay okay, besides the fact that he is Very Nice To Look At (c’mon, I must, I have EYES), I genuinely love Obi Wan because he wants to be a good person so, so badly, and he’s always ALWAYS trying to be better because he doesn’t believe he already is a good person.  His life is a literal living hellhole and he doesn’t crumple under all of that tragedy like literally everyone else does, he takes a moment, puts a cheeky smile back on his face, and gets back up and keeps going.  He can be a hypocrite, he tends to look over things he really shouldn’t or gets the wrong idea about things and just shuts off what he doesn’t want to deal with, he’s overconfident and a little snobby and petty and a bit of an asshole, and he makes mistakes because he is human, and I love him for all of those flaws because if he was perfect, I wouldn’t like him as much.  He’s funny and reckless and would literally die before letting anything he cared about get hurt, he wants to do everything at once so he can help everyone and he literally gives all of himself to a cause because he cares and y’all, he is the most distinguished disaster I have ever come across and he deserves peace and rest and loved ones who don’t die in his arms or betray him and he’s one of the most brilliant fighters I have ever seen and he just draws you in.  You can’t help but want to watch him.

Romantic ships:  I will love him and Anakin together past my dying breaths; they’re soulmates.  I can also enjoy seeing him with Quinlan or Ventress, and of course Satine.

Non-Romantic OTPs:  Anakin again, I just love them and will take them any way I can get.  Also Cody, Cody is great.  And Ahsoka-- especially post-Order 66 (c’mon Kenobi movie don’t let me down now).  And Padmé!  Ugh, I’m mad TCW refused to let us see the Obi/Pads friendship the movies promised us they had.

Unpopular Opinion:  Two big ones.  First, that Anakin is the most important person in his life.  I can’t see it any other way, and I know other people would disagree.  Second, that he’s a good person and ALSO kinda a jerk.  He’s one of the most popular figures in this fandom with the most mercurial fanbase.  I’d say a good 85% adore him, but then the 15% who don’t hate him with a burning passion.  Seriously, it’s like to these people Palpatine was a better Master to Anakin than he was, jeez-- I’m digressing.  Anyway, it’s like in retaliation, the other 85% have put him up on a pedestal as someone who’s done no wrong whatsoever.  And here I am in the middle like, I love him to hell and back and always will, he’s legit one of my favorite characters, but he isn’t perfect.  Like I said, it’s hard for me to like perfect characters with no flaws.  So yea, I guess that’s it.

Something I wish would happen/had happened with them in canon:  MORE OBIKIN MOMENTS BECAUSE I’M NEEDY.  Ok but in reality, there’s a couple things, most I’m discovering have to do with female characters.  I wish he hadn’t faked his death when Ahsoka was there.  I get why Anakin had to be there to witness it, otherwise he wouldn’t believe it, but Obes, my dude, there was no reason why you had to (further) traumatize a sixteen year old over this.  She really did not need to have you die in her arms, you of all people know how shitty that feels.  I also want to know why he didn’t speak up (or if he did and we didn’t see it) at Ahsoka’s trial.  Was he being punished for Mandalore?  Going off of that, I wish we actually got to see him mourn Satine for more than 0.5 seconds of him looking sad after she died and then it literally never being brought up again (I’m looking at you here, Season 7, give me SOMETHING).  I’d also like to see him having some sort of meaningful interaction with Leia that would make her naming her only child after him make more sense (I actually have a really good penpals style idea about this, but I don’t know if I’d be able to write it before the Kenobi show comes out and josses it).  Also, I heard that the original Twin Suns episode of Rebels was supposed to have Kanan going to Tatooine with Ezra, and I really would like to see a Kanan/Obi Wan interaction, it just sounds like so much potential for angsty goodness!!! ;_;

AHSOKA

How I feel about them: My brave, brave girl!  She was what got me into the prequels in general, if you can believe it (wow, my star wars watching order is just WEIRD), I had to know more about her after seeing literally one glimpse of her in Rebels and then saw the Tumblr fandom explode.  She’s enduring and snarky and clever and a total badass and I adore how we got to see her grow from a spunky little kid into a shining, confident young woman who I’d follow anywhere.  Anyway, I love her and god did she deserve so much BETTER FROM EVERYTHING.  HER LIFE SUCKED TOO AND SHE TOLD LIFE TO FUCK OFF AND KEPT GOING.

Romantic ships:  I adore her and Kaeden Larte from the Ahsoka novel and you can pry my headcanon that they’re still together up to the Sequel trilogy out of my cold dead hands.  Also Barriss Offee (WHY DO ALL MY STAR WARS SHIPS HAVE A PATTERN?  CAN WE NOT BE BETRAYING EACH OTHER FOR FIVE SECONDS PLEASE).  Also Riyo Chuchi, that was really cute!!!

Non-Romantic OTP’s:  Snips n’ Skyguy all the way!!!!  But also argh, I adore Ahsoka and Rex and everything about them and Season 7 is going to KILL ME.  I also love seeing Ahsoka and Padmé interact, and I really do like the little bits we see of her and Obi Wan and I want MORE of them >:(

Unpopular Opinion:  This is gonna sound weird since I just said that seeing Ahsoka in Rebels was what got me into TCW and the prequels, but I really didn’t like her characterization in Rebels all that much after I went back and saw her in TCW.  I know she grew up and was traumatized and matured, but Rebels!Ahsoka just seemed a bit too severe, a bit too peaceful (she’s always been a firebrand), a bit too quiet.  Yea she grew, but I feel like the environment she grew up in wouldn’t foster the personality change she got in Rebels.  She was a bit of a hot mess in TCW, and the Ahsoka novel kinda showed more of that personality in an older version of her and felt more right than what we got in Rebels.  

Something I wish would happen/had happened with them in canon: A GROUP HUG WITH ANAKIN AND OBI WAN IN SEASON 7, PREFERABLY HER PICKING THEM BOTH UP LEGEND OF KORRA STYLE.  Ok but really there’s a LOT of things.  First, that she never liked Lux Bonteri.  I’m sorry, I’m petty.  He just reminds me way too much of my IRL friend’s stupidass boyfriend who I Do Not Like and I never got what Ahsoka actually saw in him ;p  Second is that I did not like how Ezra saved her in Rebels.  It’s a grumpy point for me because I certainly like how she managed to outlive the entire Order that kicked her out, it’s poetic, and if they did have Vader kill her I’d still be grumpy because it would be just another Prequel era woman who got killed off because she wasn’t in the OT while the males all find some way to be alive despite not being in the OT.  HOWEVER, you will never convince me that Kanan wasn’t the one who deserved that time-travel fixit.  Kanan had a family-- a CHILD, who he left behind.  Kanan had a future, and a story point that was just left unfinished and unsatisfying for me and other fans, if what I’ve heard was right.  As much as it would annoy me, Ahsoka dying facing Vader makes sense from a narrative point because it would follow the path that Vader destroys everyone he ever loved until he meets Luke.  Kanan’s death felt sudden and forced, and the fact that they had the audacity to use his death to be like “oh no Kanan had to die and become a Spirit Wolf solely to tell Ezra he needed to bring AHSOKA back”, come on.  Rebels didn’t establish Ahsoka and Kanan having any sort of meaningful relationship, it makes no sense for that to be his final wish, so it just feels a LOT like favoritism on Filoni’s part.  So yea, I don’t know what I wanted to save Ahsoka because I did want her alive, but it definitely shouldn’t have been at the expense of Kanan.  Meh.  Ok, but on a happier note, I really wanna see Anakin’s ghost on Endor reuniting with her again cuz that would be sweet and make me cry.  I also wanna see Ahsoka interacting with Obi Wan on Tatooine in the new show because please it would be perfect, she’s already met Leia, now she can meet Luke!  Also, if we could actually see her find Ezra, that would be very nice, thank you.

LUKE

How I feel about this character: Luke Skywalker is one of the bravest, most kindest men in the galaxy.  He’s not the stereotypical macho hero, he’s goofy and he whines and sulks and he makes dumb jokes and he rushes right into things, but he’s determined as all hell and once he loves you, he’s never letting go.  He wants to fix everything!  He has so many ideas!  He’s so bright and you can’t help but fall in love with his smile and his sparkling eyes and you want all his dreams and plans (because he has so, so many of them) to come true, and he will make them come true, because he is stubborn like both of his parents before him.  He worked through the discovery of his beloved father being a monster, and not only did he love him despite that, he did the unthinkable and BROUGHT HIM BACK.  LUKE BROUGHT ANAKIN HOME BECAUSE HE LOVED AND BELIEVED IN HIM AND HE WAS STRONG ENOUGH TO DO IT.  I just wish he had gotten the happy ending his parents never did (and that he had had for 40 years before it was ripped away whoops I got salt on this haha).

Romantic ships: Complicated.  I think he would be really cute with Ezra if they ever actually met; their personalities would mesh nicely and I think they’d make a great team!  However, I don’t really ship him with anyone else, and me the ace again is projecting major aro/ace vibes onto him because I can *blows raspberry*

Non-Romantic OTP:  BROT3 WITH HAN AND LEIA!!!!  FOREVER AND ALWAYS!!!!!!!!  Y’all but they literally saved the galaxy together, and Luke and Leia love each other so much they knew there was a connection from the very beginning and always supported each other and the BEST space siblings, argh that forehead kiss was my favorite part of The Last Jedi I cry but I also love the chaotic dumbass duo that is Han and Luke and how they’d legit die for each other and have each others’ backs.  And, Luke and R2 will always always make my heart melt because these guys are the best team!  And Chewie, cannot forget Chewie, Chewie loves his stupid blonde little brother.  Ya know what, I’ll also add in Rey for the pure potentiality of what could have been.

Unpopular Opinion:  Well it’s certainly not unpopular to anyone I talk to, but Lucasfilms disagrees with me, so I’m gonna put forth that I don’t care WHAT the explanation is, I could never ever ever see Luke even thinking about murdering his nephew in his sleep, not just a “slip up”, not “only for a second”, no.  Yes, people can change in thirty years, and I’ve begrudgingly accepted a lot of his actions in TLJ, but not that one.  Luke would NEVER.  A more unpopular one I have would be that he’s not as much of a “innocent cinnamon roll” as fandom makes him out to be.  We see from the beginning of Episode 4 that Luke has the Skywalker temper and he’s a bit on the rude side, even though to me that seems a little more like issues with a filter that he works on developing throughout the OT.  But yeah, people tend to declaw him a bit and forget this is the same sarcastic, snarky guy that can and will happily kick the ass of basically anyone who he can’t talk his way out of trouble with (in this, he is very much Obi Wan’s apprentice).

Something I wish would happen/had happened with them in canon:  LET HIM APPEAR TO REY WITH ANAKIN’S FORCE GHOST 2K19!!!  PLEASE JJ I BEG YOU YOU LITERALLY NAMED THE MOVIE AFTER THEM.  Also, please just let him take an active role in Episode 9.  I understand it’s about the new protagonists, but please do not include the Sequel Trilogy in the “Skywalker Saga” if you’re just gonna sideline him the entire time.  If he couldn’t have his original happy ending, please let him be happy at the end of all of this.

[the-sweetest-dragon]

Character Sheet

This is the last one of my DC characters that I’ve revised and I really like the amount of detail I put back into this character.  I hope to start writing her story soon, but I’ll have to thank @incorrectbatfamiliaquotes once again for all her help because if it wasn’t for her, I don’t think I’d even consider rewriting any of these.  

_____________________________________________________

Full Name: Ashton Poppy Nazari

Nickname: Ash

Ethnicity: Arabic and German (Her father was Arabic and her mother was German)

Birthday: November 13, 2000

Age: 18

Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

Basic Personality: Ash would describe herself as a rebel with a heart of gold, which is mostly true.  She’s kind and cares a lot about other people, but often forgets that not everyone thinks as quickly as she does.  Quick to start an argument, or physical fight, to defend what she believes is right.  Ash likes to move around; she constantly taps her foot or drums her fingers against things.  She’s scary intelligent, and may be a better detective than Tim Drake.  

Deeper Personality:

Aggressive:  Ash refuses to leave well enough alone and it gets her into trouble at the orphanage and with foster parents.  Starts fights with other kids, and usually wins, due to her background in boxing.  She wouldn’t describe herself as aggressive, but others would.  

Outspoken: She’s a hardcore feminist, to the point that others can recite her speeches from memory.  Ash believes that her body is her own to control, her sexuality is valid, and that LGBTQ people deserve the same rights and opportunists that cishet people are allowed to have.   

Hyper: Ashton likes to move around a lot.  She got in trouble a lot in school for tapping her feet and drumming her fingers against her desk.  Ash also gets distracted a lot, but once focused, she’ll rarely drop whatever she’s interested in.  

Best Friend: Jonathan Kent 

Her and Jon met while she lived in Metropolis.  She saved him from making a complete fool of himself by tripping and spilling milk on the school bully.  Jon loves her to death and once harbored a small crush on her, but grew out of it fairly quickly.  They kept in touch over the years and are still great friends to this day.

Family: Unknown to her, however, as the author, I can tell you that they were involved in the League of Assassins and were killed because they didn’t want to raise Ashton in such a harsh environment.  They desperately wanted her to have a normal life.  They worked for the League because they were forced to; they had no choice.  When they saw a chance to escape, they took it but at a harsh consequence of Ashton growing up without parents.  Ra’s, as a way to try and keep them under his control, wanted to marry Ash off to Damian when they came of age.  Talia thought it would be a wonderful match and Ashton’s parents knew that it was just another way to control them, prompting them to plan their escape in secret.  Talia was the one to kill them.  

Love Life:  Ashton likes to date, but not seriously.  She’s not one to be tied down.  Ash identifies as bisexual but leans more towards guys than girls.  Her last relationship ended pretty badly, and it left her with a black eye.  She now knows to not trust Gotham street rats.   

Political Viewpoint: Ash is very liberal, but also knows that people are allowed to have different opinions to her own.  That doesn’t stop her from starting fights though.  

Basic Description:  Ashton is pretty but in an unusual way.  Her features are large but somehow delicate.  Ash has heterochromia, with one green eye and one brown eye.  Her hair is cut short and is dark brown, with honey blonde highlights.  She has freckles and moles everywhere.  Jon always used to joke that its because the sun is in love with her.  Her hair never gets longer than shoulder length because it bothers her if it’s too long.  Ash isn’t tall, but she isn’t short either.  She’s curvy and has thighs that would Jason Todd to shame.  Muscular without being boxy; she used to box a lot in her spare time.  She has a lot of piercings; her earlobes are pierced twice each and in her right ear, her cartilage is pierced too.  Her nose is also pierced and she typically wears a stud in it.  Ash has a few tattoos, all of which were saved up for and paid for with her own money from working jobs in coffee houses or babysitting.  On her calf, she has an electric blue skeleton that is skateboarding and wearing a Hawaiian shirt.  She has a blue and purple hummingbird on her left shoulder and a bat hanging upside down beneath her boobs.  (We stan a tattooed queen in this house.)

Short Term Goals: Ash just wants to have a nice summer and to not worry about the future for a few months.   

Long Term Goals: Ashton is determined to become a music teacher and find a home to settle down in.  She isn’t sure if she’d want to get married or even have kids, but likes to think about her future quite often.  

Favorite Outfit: Ash’s dress sense depends on the day, but her favorite outfit is a vintage Queen shirt paired with ripped mom jeans, which have fishnets underneath them, and clunky boots she found at a thrift store.  

Favorite Song: Black Sheep by The Clash at Demonhead

Hobbies: Ash enjoys a number of things.  She used to box a lot, and knows a lot of self defense that she taught to girls in the orphanage before she left.  Ashton can play the guitar and sings a little.  She’ll occasionally write her own songs, but prefers to not share them with anyone.  

Favorite Candy: She’s partial to dark chocolate Crunch Bars or Peeps, but only the pink ones (the yellow ones don’t taste the same)

Favorite Drink: Ashton loves frozen hot chocolate with whipped cream and caramel drizzle; she has a sweet tooth like no other.  

Fatal Flaw: She hates opening up to other people about her feelings.  She’ll tell you her opinion in a heartbeat but when she’s feeling sad, she’ll refuse to talk to people. 

Habits: Ashton chews on her nails.  They’re rarely longer than where her finger is and finds it easier to not chew them if they aren’t long.  

Favorite Color: She’s partial to blood red and black.  

Favorite Food: Vegetarian zucchini lasagna is her absolute favorite.  Ash is vegetarian and loves to experiment with food.  This is one of her favorite recipes that she’s tried in the past few years.  

Fears: Ash is afraid of snakes and dark holes.  She has nightmares of being thrown into the sea from a ship in the night.  Ash is terrified that people will get to know the real her and leave anyways.  

Life Motto: Be the woman who fixes another woman’s crown without telling the world it was crooked.  

Favorite Movie: A Knight’s Tale because it’s awesome.

Weird Talent: She’s managed to figure out a good portion of superheroes secret identities by doing basic detective work.  It’s one of her favorite things to surprise Jon with.

“Hey, I know who Kid Flash is.”

“No you don’t.”

“Dude, it’s obviously Bart Allen, I’m not dumb.”

*Surprised Pikachu face*

Role Model: Batgirl, otherwise known as Stephanie Brown.  Ash admires her strength and resilience.  Coming back after a pregnancy must have been one of the hardest things in the world.  Plus, she has to put up with Tim Drake, which means she’s an amazing person with a great temperament.    

Religion: Ash is agnostic and doesn’t enjoy going to church.  

Prized Possession: When Ashton found her way into her first orphanage, she came with a small golden locket that doesn’t open but is engraved with what she believes to be her parents initials.