#anyway I feel like educating him on asexuality would be a good thing if he really wants to under

[bitchapalooza]

Still thinking about the fact that I confuse my friend a lot apparently but like he doesn’t fully get just how much a spectrum asexuality is so I cannot blame him. But it is funny.

[mrcrowblargs]

aaaaaaaaaa I'm so glad to see you reblogging again ;u; I do hope the pain stays more manageable, I've missed seeing you around!

Aldiirn's character has changed a teeny bit from when I started this, but this is still like, exactly when he sees a moment he can be in his element. I wanted to show him more confident than nervous tooting while still mirroring whoever he's interacting with. Trying to nudge Astarion his way because he has exactly the skills Aldiirn can make use of.

Actually since drawing those first parts, I've been replaying the game and doing more roleplay as Aldiirn in Act 1 instead of just chasing Astarion approval and apparently the two really do vibe well together. I've been using Party Limit Begone to bring along all the companions but still end up with just Aldiirn & Astarion for little heists all the time haha. I think like, Aldiirn is trusting and generous - from an Underdark perspective. He's still very cautious and closed-off about personal stuff because cutthroat attitudes are the norm underground. So Astarion is familiar in a way. Greeting with a knife to the throat? That was Aldiirn's bad for not keeping an eye out.

side note consistently getting Wyll disapproval has been really making me question Aldiirn's alignment…….

Aldiirn's sexuality and trauma… there's definitely big questions for how different he could be if he was raised outside lolth-sworn society. Would he have romantic attraction to women? Would he have less fear of sex in general? Who the fuck knows. But this is how he is and how he feels and it's valid. There's definitely some personal experiences for me in there.

And I do think of his softness as like… a bit of defence against advances. He's got a people-facing job, he needs to look good but doesn't want to look desirable but it all backfires anyway oops. But, looking cute and unassuming does make people underestimate him and who he might be working with.

I'm always so pleased when little details like the lighting get picked out ;u; I'm horrible with words (typing this response has taken me all day help) and tend to inuit art mood as I go… but sometimes things are as simple as "it's blue because it's nighttime now :)" heh. But it is genuinely fun to sling around a lot of heavy inks and choose when to heighten or lighten them for specific panels.

Part 4 -- You got it exactly right for Karlach's "are you gay?" line! Less "ewww you're gay" and more "oh shit sorry didn't realise you're a one-gender attraction kind of dude!" while also leaving out that being asexual is a possibility or even normal. In Karlach's defence, I think it's fair for her to not know asexuality is a thing, since she was thrown in the hells pretty young and didn't have the best education. But she's a sweetie and would never judge. You do you, mate!

NGL I love how Larian was so "whatever" with gender and relationships, with the companions all being pan and all sorts of F/F and M/M and M/F relationships being seen amongst NPCs, it's all just so casual. I wanna see more media like it! My ass is ace but just, shaking hands with pan folk like "gender doesn't matter."

Part 5 -- I've definitely been thinking about Astarion seeing the rest of the companions as competition. They're not on board with having a vampire around, so he's gotta beat them to bed the one guy who is. Like some kind of The Absolute Hottest game show. I think at some point he'd clue in that Aldiirn doesn't want anything to do with the women that way, Wyll gives him Weird Vibes, leaving Gale as the main competitor. Then Astarion being so genuinely confused when it gets through his skull that Aldiirn isn't into sex at all but still likes him! Someday I'll get to this in comics, they're still muddling around in potential underdark-act 2 scripts.

But right here, Aldiirn sees something's going on with Astarion and grabbing onto it to avoid the night's "fun" while Astarion sees his safety net disintegrating. and Aldiirn still just… genuinely does not want Astarion to go hungry…

The last page I almost didn't consider part of the scene, I just wanted to focus on Aldiirn himself. Have him be more relaxed and surrounded by pieces of home that will only grow more concerning as time goes by haha. He doesn't need to smile for that 5-star rating but he's so preoccupied with juggling everyone's needs that he doesn't tend to his own until he's done checking through the order log.

I'm glad you enjoyed this so much, and thank you so much for all your great commentary!! I've been gnawing at the bit to go right into more page comics scenes but I think I need a different pace to not burn myself out xD Have some more silly comics in between the heavy pages!

Stealing Hearts (Complete)

14 pages, all in one post! A bard and rogue make for a smooth heist team but have a rocky romantic start due to both being idiots who can't say no. I started this scene in December when thinking about how the Astarion romance would have kicked off for my demisexual tav, Aldiirn, and how a long rest queue surprise fit in.

Rest of the scene under the cut! The daytime pages have also been updated for a better texture so they're not dark like the OG posts.

[xiaq]

Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)

Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.

I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???

(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)

CW for sex talk (again)

How does one get over purity culture?

Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.

Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.

According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.

Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.

You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.

The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.

Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.

Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)

Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.

*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).

[paintedkinzy-88]

Ok, since we're almost halfway through Pride Month, I feel like I should ask this: what are your sexuality headcanons for the Sans AUs, and how do you think they would act at a Pride Parade? Anyways, have fun, and Happy Pride Month!

Ahhhh I hate that it’s already almost done and I’ve done nOTHING. I was going to draw something, but we’ll see if I have time to before the end of the month. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

But but but I can do this much. Probably. XD

I’m only gonna do the main AUs cuz that’s a long list as it is, so apologies but I’m not adding like Razz or Sci or anything dhsjbfjsbd. But anyway since I know this will get long I’m cutting it off here. If you want my Pride Rambles heckin take them:

Going off a semi-peaceful multiverse of course, cuz I like everyone kinda getting along—

Classic: personally always seen him as Bisexual, but more leaning towards a masculine attraction. So like a 4-5 on the Kinsey Scale huehue. Honestly don’t think he’d go to a Pride Parade unless someone dragged him there cbsjfbjsnf, so he’s probably just lazing around/being carried the whole way, and wearing a million Pride accessories cuz his friends/brother just keep piling them on while he’s sleeping lmfao

Red: Mostly the same as Classic, tbh. Though he’d probably be picking a lot of fights with anti-protestors outside the parade ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Blue: Pan, he likes anyone and everyone! As long as you meet his taco standards, gender plays no role. He’s definitely the energetic, supportive one at Pride that’s trying to make sure everyone feels happy and involved. He’s usually at the front of the parade, but also weaving through the crowd a lot. Someone says their family doesn’t support them?? Blue’s there to make you feel welcomed and valid no matter what. (ง’̀-‘́)ง

Lust: Demiromantic, Pansexual, and maybe Genderqueer. As in, he usually goes by he/him but doesn’t mind other pronouns, and will typically dress more feminine or masculine depending on however he feels. If he looks good, he looks good, gender expectations be damned. And I just think sexual attraction is one thing (kinda an important thing for his world, too), but being romantically attracted is rare. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ He be the one that’s always friendly-flirting at Pride, and complementing absolutely everyone. He’s totally dressed up with flare, but still stylish and in the colors of one of his flags huehue.

Ink: I go back and forth with Ink a little?? I kinda go by partial canon, seeing him as Asexual and Biromantic, but he’s not sex repulsed. I feel like with him making so many worlds and so many Lust variants, it’s more of a “yes this person is aesthetically sexy” rather than any actual feeling attached to it. XD He goes to Pride in a l l the colors. He’s probably passing out face paint and confetti poppers and other Very Messy Things too. Maybe he’s even painting people’s faces himself before the parade, honestly.

Error: Maybe Demiromantic, but otherwise boi be like Classic, just more grumpy and prone to anger. XD Idk if he’d really want to go to a Pride Parade, because of the crowds, but I suppose if he was he’d likely be in the waaaay back where no one else is, just people watching, maybe enjoying seeing a partner having fun themself and that’s it. … Or he’s on the sides of the parade threatening anti-protestors too, that’s probably a thing.

Dream: HMMMM thinking long and hard about the Dreamtale duo ngl. I just felt like they don’t really. Care about gender or anything at all, and probably didn’t have any of this in their village. I guess I can see Dream as questioning, but leaning towards Pan??? He’s probably been to so many Pride Parades though, let’s be honest. Soaking in the positivity and doing his best to cheer up anyone who’s scared or uncertain in themselves. I can see him educating himself in all the stuff he missed out on so he could lend semi accurate advice to anyone still questioning themselves. He be the therapist wherever he goes smh, but I’m sure there’s been multiple occasions that his friends have pulled him into the festivities as well. I can definitely see Lust and Ink making him dress up a bit. XD mayhaps…. 👀👀

Nightmare: mostly the same as Dream, but he’s had a lot more time to think it over. Idk, I’ve always seen him as Demiromantic, and then just not caring about gender at all. It’s the one thing he always respects in others because he just doesn’t understand mortals’ obsession with gender roles. He’s a murderer, but he’s a murderer that will get your pronouns right. He likely only goes to Prides because his boys go, lmao. He’ll do whatever they wanna do at the parade, within reason. That means no, he will not get his face painted, but they’re definitely able to throw some rainbow accessories and shit on him, even if he’s not happy about it. XD Gonna be washing the rainbow glitter out of his goop for MONTHS…

Cross: He be Bi, just like canon huehue. I’ve also been reading a lot of Trans Masculine fics lately, and I can see that. Idk if I’d ever outwardly mention it in a story, since I don’t personally know much about that kind of experience and don’t want to represent it wrong, but hey if you wanna see it in my fics go right ahead, I’m not against that at all! Cross probably swapped out his cape for a bisexual flag at Pride lmao, but he’s mostly there to accompany friends and/or partners, so he’s not super social with others unless they come up to him. A good guard against creeps though!

Horror: I was going to say Bi, but honestly, nah I think he’d be Gay. I just don’t see him being very interested in girls at all??? Femininity is fine, just not girls. He’s the big burly scary guy at Pride, I feel like he’d be getting a lot of attention he doesn’t know what to do with wheeeze. Might have also brought cupcakes or cookies tbh. Gotta make sure everyone isn’t skipping lunch and passing out during the parade.

Killer: Definitely Gay. The gayest of them all and he’s not ashamed of it. He’s probably causing a lot of chaos and arguments with anti-protestors or just general creeps, mostly cuz he finds their reactions funny. Otherwise he’s a flirty bastard and probably hanging off of Cross and/or Nightmare most of the day. Idk if he’d be wearing much flag/color wise, but he’s definitely trying to put stuff all over everyone else.

Dust: I’ve always seen Dust the most Classic like, so he’s Bisexual too for sure. He’s likely right beside Killer in causing chaos and threatening assholes, but he’s also staying by Horror so the big guy isn’t overwhelmed in the crowd. I’ll bet that Killer convinced him to make little poppers and actual fireworks, too wheeeze. Used safely, of course. Mostly. Probably. Sort of.

Fresh: AroAce. I just don’t see him as very interested in having partners honestly?? Doesn’t mean I haven’t liked some Fresh ships, but for the most part he’s chill being single in my AUs lmfao. Fresh probably brought so many things to the parade. He’s got huge rainbow flag that the crowd can carry over the top of them, a bunch of glow sticks for necklaces/bracelets, balloons, wigs, light up glasses, flags galore, anything and everything, all of questionable origin ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Honestly, I’m not usually a fan of having an entire group of characters identify under LGBT, because it’s not very realistic to me. Not that I’m against the people that do, of course! Do what you want, I don’t care. It’s just not how I roll ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

But, all the Sans AUs are based on one dude, so it kinda makes sense that they’d all reflect him in some way, some more than others. And since I’ve always seen him as Bi/Pan, ya bet a lotta the AUs are kinda the same wheeeze. There are a lot of UT characters I see as straight, Sans just isn’t usually one of them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Maybe that’s just me projecting onto my fav, but whatever, it’s fictional characters, why the heck not.

ANYWAY these are just my headcanons. It’s not usually a thing I pay much attention to, especially when reading other’s fics. I feel like it’s really up to interpretation most of the time, and that’s one of my favorite parts of fandoms XD

[slashingdisneypasta]

Could you do a headcanon about the villain's SO that's Asexual(someone who is disgusted by sex/doesn't want to have sexual intimacy. However, some asexual individuals partake in sex for personal reasons, like for their partner while others don't at all). How would they react? Would they even care? And I was thinking for the villains that it could be Captain Hook, Dr. Facilier, Hades, Ratigan, Beetlejuice, and maybe Bill Cipher? Thank you! I love reading these!!! Your work is so good!! 💛💜

Course! Hope you likes these! ^^ Thank youuuuu, I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed some of this blog so far! 

~~~

Beetlejuice:

·         Well damn, that’s a bummer.

·         I’m sorry for him! But BJ is one hypersexual little shit. Of course, he’s not going to leave you or anything because if he just wanted sex then he’d go back to that brothel- he also likes your reactions to his horrible jokes, and your horrible jokes, and your very presence.

·         So, I mean, the ‘You’re not interested in sex’ thing is a bummer for him, but it’s not the end-all be-all of the relationship for him. Not for someone as old (And as acquainted with his right hand. Not to mention his powers) as he is.

·         If you’re still willing to have sex with him, though, be prepared to see a very ecstatic ghost!

Bill Cipher: I... kind of headcanon him as ace also? I think? I mean, he’s a triangle. He’s not disgusted by it, and he can certainly use it to his advantage, but its like ‘Yeah nah no thanks. Colossal Cosmic Power though pls?’

Captain Hook:

·         I mean, even in a relationship with someone who wants and likes sex, Hook isn’t that interested in sex. He’s spent so many years on Neverland, a place that’s run by children, that sex has been put on such a backburner for so long that fantasies and desires have sort of... become… unimportant? Well, far less important than, like, getting his revenge, keeping good form, and now, you. Sex hasn’t really been a thing for him, so it’s not a big deal at all for him at all that even now that he has a partner, he won’t be having relations like that (Unless you’re okay with it. But even then- he might not be).

·         When you tell him that you’re asexual, its just like ah ‘Ah. Oh well.’ Kinda moment. He is curious about your sexual identity (Because of course he knows n o t h i n g apart from ‘Straight’, ‘Gay’, and those rare party animals’ that’ll hit ‘either’ gender. Good grief, please educate him) though so I hope you’re ready to talk about it! It might actually feel good to have someone just, genuinely curious about you. Not as a way to ‘debunk’ you identity at all- just because he’s he thinks it’s interesting.  

·         He accepts you wholeheartedly. You know, he would say, I thinks one of me pirates is like that too! Smee, maybe? Whatever, I don’t ask about the men’s personal lives.

·         You will feel completely accepted and understood on the Jolly Roger!

Dr Facilier:

·         I tend to headcanon Dr Facilier as having ‘been around’, you know? Like, he’s been to all sorts of underground clubs and casinos in the French Quarter that he’s met everyone. Gays, bisexuals, men who are women on the inside, women who are men on the inside, people who throw gender to the wind entirely, couples made of more than 2 people, etc. And you are certainly not the first soul he’s met that isn’t interested in carnal relations.

·         Basically, with him, its like dating any gen z- he doesn’t care about losing out on sex! He accepts you and just wants you to feel safe and comfortable being yourself around him.

·         As long as he still gets to cuddle you (LOTS) and give you all-over-the-face kisses, (Meaning: Worship you) he’s happy XD Just lots of non-sexual affection.

·         Lots… and lots… of affection. He’s obsessed with it, really. Physical and verbal.

Hades:

·         Hades is a God- the fact that asexual individuals exist is not a surprise to him in the slightest like it is with a lotta other Disney Villains. Its like ‘Righty then’ and you move on with your day.

·         Hades is not as hypersexual as his flirting may sometimes imply (He is most c e r t a i n l y not at Beetlejuice’s level, anyway)- he’s far more invested in his desires to take over Olympus and that is more at risk of destroying your relationship then the lack of sex in it.

·         If you are willing to do it with him, though, he’ll be careful and slow and will stop with ease the moment you decide you want it to stop where it is.

Professor Ratigan:

·         Ratigan is a man of science- and that includes psychology, as well.

·         He quickly realises that if you two want kids and you don’t want to have sex with him to do it (If you have a functioning female reproductive system), then there’s always adoption, or other a number of other choices. Or you might not want children at all.

·         He also understands that different minds (And libidos) work differently and the fact that yours doesn’t want sex is neither a personal choice on your part, or a fault in any way. This is one of those times in Ratigans life that he realises how stupid the rest of the population is compared to his own genius criminal mind- how can anyone not understand this? Imbeciles.

·         He didn’t fall in love with your ass anyway, so no worries.

[hag-rambling-on]

Boys hc’s feats Diaspro

Riven

Riven Cassios was born to two Omega prisoners. What surprised everyone, because staying healthy enough to carry out a pregnancy on a planet that sucks your magic is... Obviously the Rocalucce Council keeps an eye on the planet, they took him out of there because no child would pay because his parents, and he has been in foster homes, although it doesn't last long since the requirements for his adoption were more strict than most -which in the long run the Council would realize was COUNTERPRODUCTIVE for his character-. That is what Darcy detects and why the high spheres are somewhat "permissive" with him.

His mother died giving birth, it was already miraculous that she lived so long and ‘bout his father I think I'm going to kill him too, maybe. The father I assure you would be love him (he called Riven to himself Daru, his gift) thought was not his initial idea, the mother always saw him as an experiment (she was a witch who followed the Ancenstresses). Ohm, also in his blood there are dark elves and giants.

Riven surname is actually the name of the galaxy where he was born or a derivation of it, as is common for orphans. So the boy knows NOTHING about the above.

Timmy and Riven are the only specialists who have passed the full course at Fonterossa, without skips. In the end they bond about it. Timmy gives him a recommendation to work as a part-time mechanic at Magix (good boy face, he knows how to use it)

Timmy

Timeus “tshhhh, it’s Timmy.... i’m not my grandfather” fulfills the physique requisits as much as any other specialist, but it is true that his physique and abilities, adapted to the distance, give him a more "feline" air.

He is also the one who wakes up at night and moves silently, scaringthe rest of the squad if they wake up unexpectedly.

His glasses are for both sight and Aura Vision. His parents are rich enough to pay for an operation, but since he would have to wear glasses for his ability anyway, why? Practical guy.

And the glasses make people look down on him, something that when his self-esteem is high and he’s being rational and cunning he knows it’s wonderful, although many others times may hurt. He is mostly leprechaum with something human.

Nex

Nex is still a Paladin born in Lymphea and with blood of literally ALL races. He adapts well to any planet, although not its people at first. His race mix makes his face “charismatic”, like always draw attention even if people don’t know very well why they are draw.

His ability is Delay Sleep. It allows him to hold over his need to sleep for days without going crazy or losing physical capacity or needing many days to recover (he can stay awake for 5 or more days, sleep 8-10 hours and go back to being his usual self). Sometimes he does not control this well and has plenty of energy in need of drop but he is the one who has the most control of his ability.

One of his parents spent time in Rocalucce Fortress as a "guest" so at times he feels like he has something to prove.

Roy

Coming from Andros, most of the population are merpeople with a few elves and humans. which avoids the 100% aquatic population. Roy, unlike Aisha is mostly human-elf with a bit of merpeople in a grandgrandgrand level. One of his parents comes from one of the colonies on the moons of Andros and he was born there although they moved almost immediately.

Roy’s paladin ability being the canon “Triton Aura” used to breathe underwater. That and learning to swim and drive all kinds of water vehicles was what made him feel "adapted" to Andros. But he always try to be useful.

He only became a Paladin at the beginning of season 6, and it was visiting him that the season began. He’s bi but he thinks of himself as straight.

Nabu

I plead guilty to liking Nabu even though I shipped Aisha with Flora and Nex. So I have a hard time thinking about him. Except, EVERY time I try to think of something. EVERY TIME. Rapunzel. So, he will never cut his hair.

But with an island instead of a tower and a babysitter (male and wizard) more dumbledoor (not, actually more like Newt Scamander mentor like).

Sometimes he misses out on some "social customs/things/normalcies" whatever is called due to his little dealing with people. He may seem naive or that don't understand sarcasm. He understands and learns quickly, but people were very respectful to him and there are things he is not used to. 1/2 merpeople 1/4 half elf 1/4 human as both of his parents are half merpeople.

He likes to swim as much as any merpeople, but they didn't let him do it much because they were afraid he would go away or lost, so he usually went off "to the heights", going up to the rooftops and things like that.

Helia

Helia is trans but keeps his first name as chosen name which I don’t understand. Also he has formally tried study practically everything he wanted. Specialist, Paladin, Wizard (of Threads). Painter.

He can't make up his mind, his family hurries him just to STOP making them dizzy and spend a few years with everything -and actually end a single “major” choice- he wants to experience, that he has a very long life and can dedicate a few decades to Everything and they can support them. Well, more or less, but he was vip pass to all these options because family connections.

Long story about Sky, Brandon and Dia.

Sky, Brandon and Diaspro's first meeting was a show. Has it all. Costumes, lies. Confusion. Kidnapping. And that is why Diaspro insists on the wedding (I would like to mention that although I don’t know her romantic orientation yet surely bi or lesbian, here, Dia is asexual. And Sky is non-binary but his parents do not approve so go for he/him to avoid problem with them. And here our story begins)

A bit of background. Brandon actually hails from Isis, the son of the military and was chosen by the whimsical chibi!Diaspro as a playmate and future personal guard (because then she believed that touching children gave "lice" and her character and age did not have the 18like wall of royal education, then in a random encounter he called her among many things what Dia's mind translated in a strange way "uncracked geode", which is a double-edged compliment in Isis that many would not accept from strangers but she liked it). Rarely they would end up becoming friends in the end. When the series begins, Brandon and Diaspro keep up with calls, which will prevent Dia's reaction with Bloom on the one hand.

On a visit (officially only from the kings of Erakyon to to the kings of Isis) for the children to get to know each other, somehow, they all ended up happily dressing up, with Sky and Dia looking like two pretty princesses and Brandon assessing whether his dress would be green or yellow because Diaspro insisted that she and Sky had already taken the blue and red and so it would be more "thematic".

Here began the first of many attacks on Sky's head, because before it had begun to be rumored (true) that Erendor had fertility problems (btw his race dwarf-high elf and Samara is leprechaum-high elf, Sky gots mostly high elf part). When they came in and saw two girls and a boy, Brandon, not the highest IQ, but one of the wisest of his team and definitely the best fighter, played along so he ended up pretending to be Sky (also helps that his hair colors looks like Erendor) Everything worked out well in the end, although Brandon ended up as Sky's squire (better for him, worse for Diaspro), and Diaspro made Sky promise that he owed her a big favor. Anyway they grew up over the years in friendship and they both knew they were not of each other's true love interest, but, they could put up with each other (because that's what royalty does).

Sky and Diaspro have a sonorous (affectionate) war over Sky's hair to annoy/exasperate Brandon. Diaspro always complains that he doesn't grow it and it would look great then. Sky says that he is fine as with his hair at it is (it's actually Erendor's thing). The soft part of Diaspro that she doesn't usually show off has taught Sky many ways to style his hair and subtly put on makeup to look more feminine if he wants to.

How I am amused by that image from wikipedia and that Diaspro entered Sky's guard so quickly. Another headcanon is that Diaspro would sometimes change her appearance a bit and go into Sky's guard to be with Brandon to annoy him and Sky, when Brandon has to talk about her without giving details, she is simply "his sister Charbonne" (she hates that alias). They were discovered when she was 15 years old but she had already trained and the royal families considered it a sign to formalize the engagement since “they search each other” (people only sees what they wants).

The Diaspro family is not good, first Brandon was a shield (emotional) because as a child they were not “that” bad and then Sky joined him (physically and politically), handling things with Bloom so like that was not a good idea when the floor was full of cracked bottles.

... omg i’m sorry you three i’m sorry what I did to you

Also, Brandon's ability as a green user is very interesting and helps with this a lot. I temporally call it “Keypoint Warning” and I like it a lot, it's like a "tic" that tells him "be careful, what you say, what you do now, even the smallest thing could change everything for youself (for better or for worse)”. He actually has a scar on his forehead (not a lightning bolt) that his hairstyle hides after “that” day but a little less fine on the words and the kidnappers might have broken his mouth so... His parents have been cured (spoiler: no) of heart attack since then.

[takonei]

Aro-ace B!Gonta and B!Tenko, Agender B!Gonta, and Demi-sexual Maki and Kaede? I noticed that none of them really get talked about for some reason which makes me sad! They're still good characters!

Ah, the return of the big headcanon wave- though I really appreciate the love for those characters, thanks a lot! :D

Aroace Gonta: 10/10

I said it before and I say it again. Aroace headcanons are always big brained. And now that I think about it, I should have given a better grade to aroace Kokichi, perhaps a 9?

Anyway, aroace Gonta is something I totally vibe with. I don’t think it would take him long to put a name on his orientation? While he does not go on the internet too much nor has anyone to educate him on lgbt+ stuff, he just lived his life normally and then maybe someone in the cast talks to him about it.

After being told aromantism/asexuality is a thing, he does feel a bit at ease knowing it’s perfectly fine, though I don’t think things would change much for him.

Overall, big brain, anon.

Aroace Tenko: 9/10

It’s still very good, and definitely a headcanon I can imagine for her!

I don’t really think she would be affected too much by the ‘WhEn ThE bOyFrIeNd’ remarks, after all she can just slam them to the ground if she wants to, sooo yea. Who needs sex and all that shit when you can get fucking ripped lmao

I didn’t exactly ship Tenko with anyone in this AU (though I would gladly see what some of yall have in stock), so I don’t have anything against it.

Agender Gonta: 8/10

I know I say that a lot, but I also vibe with this one, in a way?

As I said in the aroace Gonta HC, I don’t think Gonta would think much of their gender identity until someone points out that non-binary identities are a thing.

I do think it would take some time for Gonta to figure themselves out since they’re rather quiet and doesn’t like to talk about themselves much, but the headcanon is more than valid.

Overall, I do like it.

Demisexual Kaede: 10/10

The fantasy writer sweetheart? Demisexual? It’s more likely than you think. ;)

No seriously, I 100% vibe with the headcanon because I always vibe with aspec headcanons in general. I do think it would take some time for Kaede to fully apprehend her sexuality. Perhaps at first she would think she is fully ace as she never got many friends/lovers.

And after meeting Maki she realizes it might be more complicated than that, and the two could figure it out together.

Very sweet!

Demisexual Maki: 9.5/10

I don’t have any real reasons not to give Maki a 10, maybe it’s just that I vibe more with demi!Kaede and wanted to reflect it.

I do think Maki would realize she likes girls more than boys, but at the same time, she is not sure since she doesn’t feel that attracted to either of them. Perhaps she would know she is not entirely ace but would only figure herself out after meeting Kaede.

I don’t know how you imagined it, anon, but whatever you did, I know it’s great.

Suggest a Beta AU pride HC and I’ll judge it!

[writingandmore]

Hello! Would it be alright if I request a matchup? I honestly can’t tell if it’s open or not so hopefully it is, but if I was wrong I’m sorry about that! I would prefer Genshin, Danganronpa, or any Fire Emblem (out of the three I know Awakening and Fates—I’m less familiar with Echoes but its still perfectly fine!) but you can really do whatever you’d like, I don’t mind. :) Worst case scenario if it’s something else then I may look into it and get a new interest, so be free lol- Anyway I an INFP and a Libra (even though I’m not entirely sure what that means, and I have absolutely no idea what the numbers with the w is so I can’t tell you that sorry ^^;). I’m asexual but prefer guys and identify as she/her. I’m somewhere in the 5’8-5’10 range but nobody is quite sure where, it changes every time I try to measure my height somehow- I have long brown hair, brown eyes, and glasses and I am extremely pale. I have been described by the people I know as funny, smart, and nice, and I’m very shy around new people, since I have a hard time with trusting, but once I’m comfortable to a certain extent I’m very loud. My sense of humor is either complete nonsense or extremely dark so not many people get it, but I really dislike being serious so I’m almost always joking, but I can be serious if I think I have to. I also hate people who can’t understand extremely basic things no matter how many times you try to explain it, as well as people touching me, however I can tolerate it if I really like the person but my limit is a hug. I prefer to stay inside and enjoy playing video games, drawing, and listening to music, and I like to sing but never in front of people. I also have a tendency to deny everything in a panic while trying to escape when embarrassed or uncomfortable. Beyond that I can’t think of much else to say, so hopefully it isn’t too long and I did it right, I have no idea what I’m doing lol. Anyway have a nice day! :)

- Albedo would appreciate a partner who is intelligent and kind-he often struggles with relaying his emotions to others sometimes, so a partner who would be patient and helpful when that happens would be really nice. He's not shy, and quite talkative about his interests, so hopefully you'd be comfortable listening to his ramblings until you feel confident enough to add to the conversation regularly. He really wouldn't mind you being loud either, unless he was working on research.

Danganronpa: Kokichi!

-Kokichi loves to joke around and is rarely serious himself, so an s/o like you who could match him in that would be great for him! He wouldn't mind your dark humor either-he often gets reprimanded for taking his own jokes or pranks too far, so he really wouldn't do the same to you unless it was a really serious misstep.

FE: Leo!

- Leo is very much the same way when it comes to being frustrated when people don't pick up on things right away, so he'd understand your feelings well. He considers himself a pretty educated and intelligent person, so an s/o like you who could match him in that would be a good choice, as you typically wouldn't get frustrated with each other. He'd also do his best to be respectful about touch-he's got quite a good memory, so he most likely wouldn't forget often, if at all.

[mikauzoran]

Marichat: Serendipity: Fifty Marichat and Adrienette Kisses: Kiss Forty-Seven

Read it on AO3: Serendipity: Fifty Marichat and Adrienette Kisses: ...out of spite.

“Could you hand me the coriander, please?” Marinette requested as she measured out the cumin and added it to the pan.

She and Chat Noir were making an early dinner together and would be joined by Tom and Sabine once they’d finished tidying up the bakery after closing time. Marinette, however, was unusually quiet and seemed distracted…and Chat was pretty sure he knew why.

Earlier that day, she and Adrien had snuck off together for one of their storage closet trysts. She was ready to take things further physically, but he hadn’t gotten around to explaining the whole asexual thing yet because he was pretty sure that the quickest way to get a horny partner to break up with you was to confess that sex really grossed you out, so it probably wouldn’t be a thing that happened very often, even though you were willing to try for their sake.

So Adrien had turned down Marinette’s advances and instead tried to get her to go on a date with him that Saturday to see a fashion exhibition. She’d refused, citing her relationship status as the reason why she couldn’t go on a date with Adrien.

Adrien had called her out on being a bad friend to him lately, and he could tell how much it stung her.

Part of him hated to hurt her, but the ugly part of him really was feeling used and neglected and wanted the source of his pain to suffer too.

He knew deep down that Marinette wasn’t just physically using Adrien. They’d been friends for years, and she had always been the sweetest, most devoted ally and confidant. She always stood up for him, was always thoughtful and kind and supportive. He knew that a couple months of bad choices and heated makeout sessions hadn’t erased everything they’d ever meant to one another over the years.

But it still hurt to feel rejected by the one person whom he expected to be on his side no matter what.

It wasn’t just that she didn’t want to hang out with Adrien alone because she didn’t want to be tempted to stick her tongue down his throat. It was her not letting Chat Noir reveal his identity, her unwittingly keeping them from being everything Adrien had ever dreamed about having in a relationship.

Most of the time he was able to logically sort through his feelings and be reasonable, but, in that moment, he didn’t feel like taking the high road and being a good person. He was hurting, and he just wanted to be petty.

“So, how was school today?” he inquired conversationally, handing Marinette the coriander and taking the cumin to screw its lid back on.

“It was okay,” she replied distractedly as she attempted to level off the teaspoon. “How was yours?”

“Educational,” he answered lightly. “Science was interesting…. Did you do anything fun on lunch break?”

Marinette dropped the measuring spoon into the pan and, cursing, fished it out with a spatula. “Uh…lunch was…fine. I mean…I hung out with a friend.”

She focused very intently on moving the spices around in the pan with the onions and garlic so that they were well mixed. “How about you? Did you have a nice lunch?”

“Not really,” he confessed with a sigh, leaning back against the counter. “I’m having a rough time with one of my friends. She and I had a fight today.”

Marinette looked up from the stove to give him a soft, compassionate look that almost made it impossible for him to stay mad at her. “Oh, no. I’m so sorry, Minou. Do you think you guys will make up? Was it a bad fight?”

He averted his gaze, pretending to study the spice containers on the countertop. “We kind of already made up. On the surface level, anyway. She probably thinks we’re relatively okay right now. She knows we still have a problem, but I don’t think she actually gets how hurt I still am.”

Marinette’s face crumpled in empathy. “I’m so sorry, Chat Noir,” she cooed, resting a gentle hand on his elbow. “I know how much it sucks when the people you care about don’t see how much you’re hurting. I’m sorry your friend doesn’t seem to get it.”

He immediately felt like a bad person for trying to guilt trip her. Here she was listening to him talk about his problems like no one else in his life besides Nino, Luka, and Plagg bothered to do, sympathizing with him and giving him the attention he yearned for, and…

He pointed to the pan. “You might want to stir that. The onions are getting a little burnt.”

“Oh!” She snapped back to the task at hand. “Thanks. Sorry.”

“No,” he sighed. “Thank you. For everything. You’re really great, Marinette.”

She winced as his words went through her like a knife between her ribs.

“I’m not that great,” she mumbled, and he found that her guilt brought him no pleasure.

A silence fell between them as Marinette continued to sauté the onions and garlic.

“…Maybe you should tell her,” she suggested almost a minute later.

“Hm?” Chat tipped his head to the side. “Sorry?”

“Your friend,” she clarified. “You should tell your friend how much whatever your fight was about is still bothering you. She cares about you, right?”

“Very much,” he confirmed, knowing it was true. Even if her present treatment of Adrien didn’t reflect it, Adrien had always been an important friend to Marinette.

“Then she would want to know that she���s hurting you,” she reasoned. “Tell her and give her a chance to fix it.”

“You’re so good,” he chuckled self-deprecatingly.

She turned to cock an eyebrow at him.

He shook his head. “And here I was just planning on being all pouty and passive aggressive.”

She sighed, giving his bell a playful tap. “That’s not going to solve your problem, Minou. It’s not even going to make you feel better.”

“I know,” he grumbled, carding a hand through his hair, repeating resignedly, “…I know.”

She smiled softly, reaching up to scratch behind his ear. “Good boy.”

He leaned in, stealing a quick kiss, humming, “Good girl.”

She looked away, pretending to concentrate on cooking as she muttered, “Not that good.”

“Hey,” he sighed, slipping behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. “Don’t be so down on yourself. No matter what your shortcomings, you’re still an amazing person, Marinette.”

“Sorry,” she mumbled, adding the tomato sauce and kidney beans to the pan, stirring them in. “Thanks. I just…don’t really feel like a good person lately. I’ve been letting others and myself down a lot.”

“Wanna talk about it?” he offered softly, ghosting a kiss to the back of her neck.

She shook her head. “Sorry.”

He deflated, resting his forehead against the back of her head. “No, it’s okay. You don’t have to tell me,” he hurriedly assured. “I just want you to know that you can…that I’m here for you, no matter what…. So, whatever it is, you can tell me.”

She turned in his arms, looping her own around his shoulders as she whispered a tearful, “Thanks…. And sorry.”

“Shh,” he comforted, wiping away her tears. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

Suddenly, making Marinette feel guilty was backfiring hard, and he felt sick at seeing her suffering.

“I’m sorry,” he stressed, pulling her in close, nuzzling her hair and pressing butterfly kisses to her ear, cheek, jaw, lips. “I’m sorry.”

Her arms tightened around him, and she hid her face in his neck, whimpering barely audible apologies.

[captainshadowgirllostfan]

    I like Leonard. He makes a great lead character and protagonist, certainly more so than Sheldon who in my opinion would fit better as an anti-hero. Sheldon is so obnoxious, annoying and egocentric. That being said the one thing so unlikable about Leonard is his relationship with Penny or rather how he perceives Penny and since this is so central to “The Big Bang Theory” premise and plot, it makes it almost hard to like Leonard as a character because when it comes to Penny, all he thinks about is himself.  I don’t even know why Penny like Leonard aside from he’s a nice guy but other than that, what is there with him? Same with Leonard in his views on Penny. She’s hot, but other than that what does he like? What is there? There’s good Lenny moments sure but they seem more like friendship moments and always have to do with the gang or most of all Sheldon. Individual is rare. 

    The episode where his mother visits is a great Lenny episode until Leonard messes up with communicating that both he and Penny are trying to fill a void in their childhood that they missed. For Leonard, it’s acknowledgement and love, that he was unable to get from his mother, and for Penny, it’s a man who will accept her for who she is whereas her father didn’t. This would be a great premise for the “Lenny” relationship accept that their relationship continuously fall in the more superficial rather than the deeper ends of the psych. 

   Leonard is superficially a nice guy and he seems to care about Penny’s feelings and be there for her, accept in reality as shown when he’s with the guys or before he goes in the comfort Penny, he’s more interested in getting in her bed or dating her, not in genuinely helping her or accepting her for who she is. 

   Hell on their first date it goes over his head that Penny is insecure over Leonard’s intelligence and not being able to follow his lines of thought, and when it’s revealed that her education wasn’t that good and she feels he wants a more intelligent partner, instead of consoling her that it doesn’t matter, he gives her pamphlets of starting her education all over again. Likewise, Penny only agrees to go on a date with Leonard after she breaks up with Mike and when she reveals she keeps choosing the wrong guys and that it’s always the same time, tall, muscley and brawny. Leonard is the exact opposite of that and he’s so nice. So she finally decides to go with him but her insecurity and anger at Leonard for implying he seems to care for a more smart partner ,which I don’t think is true, ruins the relationship the first time. This is Penny overexxagerating and Leonard unable to showcase his actual feelings and thought without cowering over her anger in the first place. Again not a good sign for this relationship. I don’t think Penny had completely shed her more shallow side of wanting a more manly and hot partner.

    Also the thing that also expands the “nice guy” Leonard is that compared to his 3 other friends, he is the most preferable and since Penny spends so much time with them this sort of strikes out and he’s the one who is the reason she hangs out with them in the first place. She does seem to enjoy Sheldon’s company but for the most part is still in the stage of finding Sheldon annoying and not understanding him. Much like all of the group she mocks Sheldon’s eccentricities and seems to hold it against him for his quirks. It takes some alone time with Sheldon for her to understand him and see that there’s a nice guy underneath the exterior that is all crazy and out of all the group it’s showcased how kind and genuine Penny can be. How a much better friend to Sheldon she is compared to the rest of the group who continiously demean and degrade Sheldon even when they’re alone with them. Leonard is one example even though it’s understandable since he has to deal with most of Sheldon’s shit. Still most of the heart-to-heart we see of Sheldon and Leonard in Season 1-2 is more about Leonard’s problems and Sheldon sometimes is able to help but for the most part doesn’t care or he logically tells Leonard something Leonard doesn’t want to hear... tbh Sheldon is like his mother, so I get Leonard’s complicated feelings with Sheldon a bit.

Going back to how the Leonard/Penny relationship came about. Leonard is the bridge and connector for the entire group. He’s the reason Penny hangs out with the guys. Leonard is the translator to Penny for Sheldon and for most of the group, so she could understand all of them and again this strikes out for Penny. Because the reality is Leonard, not Sheldon, is the actual leader of the group. 

And the more proximity she keeps having with the guys, the more attractive Leonard is because he’s nothing like the guys she’s been with. Or at least it seems that way to her. Leonard is also nothing like Sheldon, Howard and Raj. Sheldon is annoying and asexual for Penny to consider. No point in going with a guy who doesn’t seem to be attracted to her. Howard is a perv and the way he tries to pick her up seems to obviously convey to her that she’s an object to him. The same is actually for Leonard too but again Leonard is subtle and never showcases this (except for the few times like when she accidently stain Sheldon’s seat, he tells her “What ‘we’, you had your chance at ‘we’, this is all you” though he does end up trying to help her anyway. And when Alicia moves into 5A, and he helps out Alicia with her stereo while ignoring and snapping at Penny... not that I completely blame him. I love how that episode sort of makes Penny confront over the fact that she was no different than Alicia and was using the guys since Day 1 even though she does end up being part of them.). And finally Raj is too shy and can’t talk to her.

So I guess I could kind of see how Lenny came about.

I still think it’s disgusting more on Leonard’s end. Because I can’t forget that scene in later episodes where both he and Penny go to a comic con where she has to sign posters of that Gorilla predator movie she was in, that was her greatest regret, and a bunch of guy having found out that Leonard somehow ended up marrying her asked how he was able to get a girl like her. The answer, “Oh he just weared me down until I finally said yes” and I’m like ugh.

The Lenny relationship makes it very hard for me to like Leonard. But I can accept and acknowledged that in the beginning it was meant to happen.

It succeeding though to marriage is baffling to me.

[rora-s]

My Coming Out Story

Disclaimer: Due to the personal nature of this story names have been changed as to not reveal peoples identity.  I’m not sure why I decided to post this story now. It’s something I’ve hadn’t written for awhile but never knew when or where to place it. I’m posting it now and I hope that if someone needs it now in their life they can read it and feel a little better about how things are going.  When I was little I really didn’t have a concept of what gay was. I grew up in a loving christian home with my mechanical engineer turned youth minister mom and my current electrical engineer dad who was also the music leader at church for a number of years. There were also my three siblings of which I was the second oldest. My life revolved around church. It was literally where I went to preschool and I spent at least five days a week there well into my teenage years. 

Growing up in this way wasn’t bad. I had a great community and family. However, that changed. I remember thinking during my elementary school days that I thought of guys and girls the same. The only thing was that I understood that when you get married girls marry guys and vice versa. That’s just how it was and I thought everyone felt the way I did. You just had to pair up like that. 

I had heard the word gay and understood the concept of it when I was in elementary school thanks to my church and one kid at my school. My mom told me he was gay and I didn’t believe it because he was so nice and from what I understood gay meant bad. (He came out when we were in middle school and was one of my inspirations later on.) 

Still the first time I had a personal connection with having that label was when some girls started a rumor that me and one of my best friends who was also female had kissed on the playground during recess. This was an outright lie and my violent tendencies at the time due to (at that time) unmedicated ADHD caused me to lash out and beat up the bully which got me sent to the principal's office. I didn’t tell anyone why I had beat up the girl just that she was being mean to my friend. As I was a frequent flyer in the office at that time they didn’t really question me all that hard anyway. Now that I’m older I can’t really tell you why I didn’t tell anyone what the girls said. Whether I was embarrassed, scared, or just too stubborn to give them an answer I don’t remember I just know I didn’t. 

Fast forward to middle school and I was a far more awkward, less violent teen. At this point I was still pretty unaware of the world around me in regards to the LGBT. I knew that there were some kids in my grade that had come out as LGBT that kid I mentioned before among them. Still to me it was something that was viewed as a bad thing they were sinners. It was all what church had taught me whether it be explicitly by some or implicitly by the majority it was still something I picked up on as a child. 

Then one day my mom told me that we had been invited by two of her friends from college to have lunch with them. It was at one of my favorite little cafes so I was really excited. She told me they were psychologists and that they were together. She also told me they were two men. I was shocked. I didn’t think gay people could have significant relationships like straight people. On top of that I couldn’t imagine my mom -- who by all accounts was the symbol of a perfect godly woman to my entire church community -- could be friends with them. 

Her response to my shock: “We’re christians, they are not, we hate the sin but we love the sinner. Despite being gay they are still good people but since they aren’t christians we can’t hold them to the same standard as us. They simply don’t believe in it.” (I paraphrased but this is the general idea of the conversation) 

It was the first time I had heard such a sentiment and I went into that lunch with a curious perspective. I was still a little shy so I didn’t ask about it but I watched them together, made note of their wedding bands (gay marriage wasn’t legal then but they were symbolic to them), and witnessed their love for each other. After that I started finding myself paying more attention to my peers who had come out. Many of which I ran in the same circles as. The more I watched and interacted and bonded with them the more my bigoted thoughts that gays were these lustful bad people faded and I realized they were normal people. 

That’s when I realized something. Not everyone loves both guys and girls and just picks a side. I learned that bisexuality existed. The next step I took in my journey was repression. I was a christian. Christians were not gay. I was not gay. I could not be gay. I was just imagining it and it’s not a big deal. Afterall I still like guys so we're fine. 

This lasted until my sophomore year of high school, choir class, and a girl with freckles, short multi colored hair, dazzling eyes, and the singing voice of an angel. The panic was real and my emotions would not shut up. I couldn't come to terms with it. With any of it. 

I denied my feelings for most of that year until one day I was with two of my friends. We were all writers and talking about different stories we were working on. Then one of them paused in the middle of what she was saying and turned to me saying “these characters are gay. We know you don’t believe in that stuff but that’s what it is” 

I looked back at her in shock and I responded with “that’s okay. I am a christian and while I might never practice that myself I’m okay with other people doing it. Hate the sin, love the sinner” my friend smiled at me and said that was the first time she’d heard such an accepting thing from a christian and continued telling us about her story as we headed to class. 

I was glad I put a smile on her face and made her feel accepted but honestly I felt like a complete piece of garbage. I’d simply parroted back to hear all the stuff that had been shoved down my throat for my entire life. Did I really believe it though? I couldn’t stop thinking about that conversation for the rest of the week. I also couldn’t stop thinking about that girl from choir class but that was honestly nothing new. 

About a week later our school had standardized testing going on. Which divided up kids into computer labs by grade and last name. Me and one of my guy friends we’ll call him Cane had luckily been seated near each other. During one of our breaks when we were allowed to talk. I went over and leaned on the desk next to him. He vented to me about how he had a crush on one of our mutual friends and was thinking about asking her out but was nervous. I gave him encouragement as best I could then he inquired whether I was interested in anyone. Before I really thought about it I answered yes. He asked who and after only a few moments of deliberation I admitted that it was the girl from my choir class. He acknowledged and agreed that she was cute before continuing on. I looked at him in surprise and pointed out to him that she was female. He said he knows and that it wasn’t that big of a deal if I liked girls. I thanked him and asked him not to tell anyone because I still wasn’t sure. He agreed to keep it under wraps but did tease me a little for my crush. 

After that conversation. I finally took the leap and began to look up the LGBT community online. I found forums and support centers and ted talks and messages and christians saying that LGBT was okay. I was ecstatic but still I was worried so I prayed and the more I prayed and researched and talked with other LGBT people the more I felt like a giant weight had been lifted off my chest. Finally I could admit to myself that I was in fact bisexual and I was okay with that and so was my God. 

I still wasn’t comfortable coming out to anyone yet. So I spent more time on online forums for LGBT youth and writers. I learned about the community and I embraced my crush on the girl in choir. Even though it didn’t pan out and I fell for a boy we’ll call him Reese and started dating him my junior year. It felt like things were going okay. I was able to tell one of my friends call them Alex finally that year and they intern told me that they were asexual. We were able to support each other in our closets and were happy. 

During my Junior year even though my feelings for the choir girl faded I ended up meeting another girl in my Fire and Rescue class at the career education center that partnered with my high school. We’ll call her Polly. She was an incredible person, bright and beautiful and unabashedly herself all the time. We bonded over marvel movies and writing. Even though I was dating Reese at the time I was falling head over heels for this girl. It took me a while to figure it out as slowly me and Polly became better friends but I was developing feelings for her.

Finally, my senior I got the courage (with support of Alex) to come out to my main friend group. It was at a marching band competition and everyone was super supportive. My best friend you can call her April she said she wasn’t surprised and Reese who was still my boyfriend at the time said he loved me and would always support me and this didn’t change that. I even came back out to Cane again because I had genuinely forgotten that he already knew. He reminded me of what he said that day. That it didn’t matter and he wouldn’t tell a soul. They were all proud of me for owning who I was. It was one of the happiest moments of my life.

However, it couldn’t last. When I was telling April one of the band mom’s overheard and gave me a shocked and disgusted look. She didn’t say anything but she didn’t have to. She was known for being the gossip of the group and she was a religious friend of my moms. If she had overheard then it was only a matter of time before she told my mother. 

I was terrified. When I got home from the competition I watched my mom to see if she was going to react at all to me. She didn’t and I realized she hadn’t been told yet. I was relieved but knew that I wanted to be the one to tell my mom. I didn’t want her to hear it from a secondary source, especially not the gossip. So I got on one of my forums and talked to some LGBT friends who encouraged me before I took a deep breath and headed into my parents room. 

My dad was away on business so it was just my mother. I told her I had something to tell her and she gave me her attention. I explained that I had come to accept myself as I am and that I knew God had also accepted me as the way I am. I told her I was bisexual and waited watching her. 

She stared at me for a long moment. Her face was a mixture of confusion and fear and the next words out of her mouth I will never forget she asked “does this mean you’re going to hell?” 

I felt like someone had just pulled the floor out from under me. She didn’t understand and spent the next couple minutes trying to convince me I was mistaken or that this was wrong. We stayed civil and eventually she just said she needed to process this and sent me back to my room. I cried myself to sleep that night. 

The next day at school I told my friends what happened and they comforted me. When I got back from school and band practice I hid in my room until that evening when my father got home from his business trip. He came to my door and told me we needed to talk. My younger sisters were banished to their room as me, my mom, and my dad - who had been told by my mom - sat in the living room to discuss the fact that I was gay. 

Shortly after starting the conversation/argument a boy (Derek) who was like my older brother came over. He wasn’t biologically related to us but he had a key to the house, would often come over, referred to us as his siblings/parents, and was referred to by us as our brother/son. Me and him were very close and despite my parents wanting to send him to the other room I insisted he stay as things had already begun to get heated between me and my father. 

Derek helped keep the tension down but there was still plenty of yelling. He acted as an impartial mediator for most of it. My dad yelled a lot, my mother cried, I both yelled and cried. It was a rough night. It ended with me storming back to my room. A while later Derek came to my room and talked with me. He explained that he didn’t understand or know if he agreed with it but he’d make the effort and be there for me. I thanked him.

My house after that was tense to say the least. My parents avoid the subject at all costs. My sisters knew thanks to the yelling that night but didn’t comment on it. The next time my mom brought it up was to tell me that I couldn’t tell my cousin about it because she would spread it to the rest of my dad’s side of the family. She also said I couldn’t tell her mother, my grandmother, because she had a heart condition and it could kill her. Sometimes I still wonder how my grandmother would have reacted had I told her before she died. She once told me she had a friend who was gay and that she cared about him deeply. I think she would have accepted me. 

The first time my siblings brought it up was when me and my two younger sisters were left in the car while my mom ran into the store. We were listening to music and chatting when my sister asked “so how long did you know you were bi” I was surprised because up until then I hadn’t realized my sisters knew I was bisexual. I explained it to them briefly and asked what they thought of it. They both said they agreed that people should be able to love who they want to love. Though my sister Greta thought it was kinda gross because she didn’t get how two of the same gender could have sex. Still it didn’t change anything for them and they apologized for how our parents had been handling it. I was so thankful for their support. 

By the end of my senior year I was out and proud to all of my peers. I came out to my friend Hannah and Derek's girlfriend Mary at the same time as a casual drop in a conversation. Neither reacted at the time but asked me about it later. Mary more directly wanting to understand as both her and Derek are very religious. While Hannah was more of making a comment about me eyeing a girl that I had a crush on and being obvious. I can’t remember when I came out to my older brother James who lives in a different city. However, he never really questioned it beyond being tense when I brought it up around our parents. I was becoming bold in my identity. I had even written a love poem about about girl (Polly) for an english class assignment to stick it too a homophobic teacher. 

I ended up breaking up with Reese pretty early on my senior year as I realized what I felt for Polly. To this day I still consider my feelings for her the first time I fell in love with someone. I cared about Reese deeply and still do but only ever as a friend. Since we were in middle school people had been pushing us together and while we fit together on paper and from the outside. My feelings inside didn’t match and I didn’t want to lead him on. Polly was the one I truly wanted to be with but the same couldn’t be said for her. She had met a boy in her senior year and they were starting to talk. She really liked him and I was her main confidant for her feelings. I took them and I encouraged her to pursue a relationship with the boy because I knew she felt for him more than she did for me. She loved me but only as a friend. As her and her boyfriend got closer I worked to let go of my feelings for her gradually. 

Meanwhile my parents were like a looming dark cloud and it felt like I was stuck in a cage of some sort anytime I left the shelter of my friends. This only got worse when I graduated that spring and summer rolled around. I tried to get out of the house as much as possible but I didn’t drive and this made things difficult. The relationship between me and my parents began to get more and more strained to the point I almost ran away one night after my mom punched me. 

I began to view leaving for college that fall to be the holy land. My montra became that if I could only survive the summer I could make it. Me and my friend Hannah were going to the same college and going to be roommates. I was going to get to study what I loved and be who I was. I went into survival mode. Then the biggest mental strain hit. 

Every year since I was nine years old I went to church camp for a week in the summer. I had been going longer than I was supposed to because my mom was a leader of the camp and my whole family got to go even Derek and Mary. Normally Hannah would come as well but she had something else come up that year and couldn’t. I knew the place very well and absolutely loved it. It was a time of year I looked forward to and couldn’t wait to go back too especially since I was now a worker at the camp instead of just a camper. 

This year was tougher than most. I was given a lecture about not telling anyone that I was bisexual before I left because if they found out I was gay I wouldn’t be allowed to come back to camp. I was horrified at the idea and tried my best not to think about it. Even when I got a crush on my fellow female camp worker. It was a stressful week and it all culminated one night. 

I can’t tell you whether I believed what I felt in that moment. It all felt like a blur like I was about to shatter under the weight of everything bearing down on me all the lying and fighting. I think part of me wanted to believe that me being gay could be prayed away that night and that I could just stop having to deal with all this pressure. So that’s what happened. I told one of my leaders and they asked me a bunch of questions like had I kissed a girl or had sex and then they prayed for me.  

Afterward I told my mom and she literally cried about it hugging me and thanking God that I was healed. I felt sick and I threw up before I went to sleep that night. 

I went to college that summer as a straight girl and I held on to that label for most of my first semester. I loved college. Me and my roommate/best friend Hannah met three great friends that first semester, Sylas, Kurt, and Randall. Sylas was busy a lot so we mostly hung out with Kurt and Randall. All of us played D&D together and had movie nights. Me and Hannah also found a christian group on campus and got settled there. 

I thought I was happy with my life however I still felt sick and disjointed anytime the concept of homosexuality got brought up. It was a hard time and I prayed about it alot. I talked to some of my church friends about how I had turned back to straight. Until one day a video ended up in my recommendations and it was a ted talk. I clicked on it not realizing what it was and found that it was a gay christan woman talking about how these two factors don’t have to be mutually exclusive in life. I was riveted, I watched the entire video twice and felt my heart be convicted. God never wanted me to be straight; he never wanted me to change who I was. I loved me how I was. It was the people who had the problem. 

The minute Hannah got back to the dorm I came back out to her. Her exact words were “ah so you finally figured that out”. I was so grateful to have her in my life and we talked for hours after that. Not long after I started coming out to people again and in turn Randall came out to us about how he was bisexual as well. I finally felt free again. Going back home that winter was tough, however, it was made better by the support of my friends with regular skype calls and group chat messages. Not to mention since my parents thought I was straight they weren’t pressuring me anymore. 

When I went back to school things were still going great and I ended up meeting a girl named Eve in my EMT class. We immediately hit it off and started talking. It wasn’t long before I formed a huge crush on her but she was getting over a break up and I didn’t want to push. Still we became extremely close. Eventually, she did start dating a guy me and Hannah knew from a gamers club on campus. I had missed my shot. Then I went home for spring break and had to stay due to the COVID-19 pandemic. It was hard being away from my friends and stuck in my parents house. Still we all had regular skype D&D sessions and texted a lot on the groupchat. 

During the months I was stuck at home I got a job working at the local Home Depot. I was excited to work as it was my first real job. My grandmother had owned a family business but I didn’t do much other than stock shelves there. Here I was a cashier and I enjoyed my job a lot even though it could get crazy. Then one day I was at my register and a fellow coworker I was aware worked in the paint department approached my register with a polar pop and asked where her wife was. I was confused and she noticed I was new and said not to worry about it and have a good day. I watched after her and saw her go up and greet my head cashier who was a female and give her the polar pop before heading back to the paint department. I was astounded. 

Not long after I had it confirmed that her and the female head cashier were married. Another cashier came out to me as non-binary and another cashier told me her brother was gay and she’d be the loudest ally ever if anyone tried to mess with me. I felt accepted like nothing else. It was incredible to feel so validated and free to be myself in my workplace. 

Going back to school that fall was difficult due to COVID-19. Me and my friends (Polly as well as she began attending college with us that year) could no longer host D&D at my and Hannah’s dorm like we did before because of the regulations. Thankfully Eve came up with a solution. She was the only one of us who lived off campus in a house she rented. We were welcome there anytime. I still had a massive crush on her and when I found out she had broken up with her boyfriend over the summer I almost asked her out. However, another guy had beaten me to it. We ended up going over to Eve’s house multiple times a week and I would go even when the rest of the group wasn’t before long I was sleeping over at her house regularly. Often when it wasn’t even planned. I was even dubbed the most responsible friend by her grandmother who absolutely loved me. 

Then her boyfriend at the time dumped her. The entire group rallied to comfort and support her. She took it really hard and I stayed over for a weekend to make sure she was alright. My feelings really started to grow as we got more physically intimate with cuddling and laying in bed together still it was all considered platonic. I really wanted to ask her out but didn’t know when it was too soon. Hannah and Polly both encouraged me to ask her out. 

Then another boy showed up in her life. I was greatly concerned and disheartened as their relationship was progressing in her typical pattern. I thought I had missed my chance. However, the boy made a fatal mistake as Eve is demisexual. She doesn’t like moving into physical contact beyond cuddling too quickly if at all and he started to push her to kiss him. She immediately stopped the relationship after he made overt moves that disregarded her clearly made boundaries and he was derogatory toward her. 

About one or two weeks later I was over at her house one evening and we were talking about him and dating and life. I finally took a deep breath and told her there was something I needed to tell her and I was afraid it would ruin our friendship. I confessed to her that I liked her and wanted to date her. I didn’t ask her out specifically though because she has told me in the past she has trouble saying no so I left out the question and simply told her how I felt to do with what she felt was right. 

She was shocked and immediately started smiling saying she liked me too. I was elated. We talked more about how we had been feeling and how we had both been worried about what the other would say and how she had been blind to my pining which apparently her last serious boyfriend had picked up on and was why he dumped her. (He later told her that he saw how we were together and began to see that me and her fit better than him and her and he wanted us to be together.) We started dating that night and I immediately called Hannah and Polly to tell them the news joking that since I couldn’t tell my parents that I wanted to tell them and they jokingly responded by giving Eve a talking to about not hurting me. 

The next couple months were ups and downs but me and Eve had each other to support and our relationship was very steady. One night when I was having a depressive episode because of my school situation (I was failing my virtual classes). I called my brother James to vent to him. While he was comforting me I told him that I had a girlfriend and he was immediately accepting, asking all about her and acting like it was normal until I brought it up specifically her being female. He assured me it didn’t matter and that he still wanted to meet her but wouldn’t tell my parents. 

That winter I had to go home again for break which would be a couple months. Eve gave me her spare PS4 and a headset so we could play games together long distance and we spent our last couple days together as much as we could. Prior to me leaving she surprised me with necklaces for us that were each half of the star wars rebels symbol. Her’s had the phrase “I love you” engraved on it and mine had the phrase “I Know”. 

That winter I missed her even after going back to work and finding that another character that is a part time drag queen got added to the staff. They also pretty much adopted me and my head cashier came out to me as gender-fluid. All of them were proud to hear I had a girlfriend and I was finally able to tell someone not my family all about her. I missed her a ton. So me and Eve came up with a plan. 

After some figuring with my parents she was able to come visit for a couple days between Christmas and New Years as my “good friend”. It was a great time. My three siblings that were there all knew she was my girlfriend, my little sisters having figured it out when the three of us were talking. One of my sister Georgie admitted that she was considering herself to maybe be asexual and my sister Greta (who at one point said being gay was gross) came out to me as also being bisexual. We all are able to support each other. 

Eve’s visit went really well and my parents adored her and she adored my parents. Though it was stressful especially right after she left and my grandmother who was visiting asked -- at the dining room table where me, my grandparents, my parents, and all my siblings were sat-- “did your girlfriend leave?” There was a split second where me and my siblings shared a telepathic moment of panic before remembering that in my grandmother’s vernacular she simply meant my friend that was a girl and I simply answered yes. 

As winter break moved along I began to discuss other options with my parents about my schooling. With my ADHD and my manner of learning, virtual classes were not working for me. I had failed most of my online classes meanwhile being near the top of my classes in my in person classes. It was an obvious disparity the only exception being my math class which was a hybrid class and I will admit was a failure mostly due to my lack of ability to understand math. 

I’d already been considering the idea since my depressive episode calling James who’d been the one to suggest it during the fall semester. But now the conversation was whether or not I would sit out the spring semester. After some discussion and the fact that I didn’t have a job in my college town but did at home and Hannah wouldn’t be coming back to school after graduating early. Meaning I wouldn’t have a roommate. (Polly and me had a fight and are not on speaking terms). The decision was finally made I would not be returning to college in the spring. 

It was a hard decision and I had to tell Eve. I took sometime to figure out what I would say since I knew it was going to be hard. Finally I worked out the words and told her that was going to be gone for longer than planned. I knew long distance would be hard and suggest we try to make plans to stay in closer contact with each other that way it wouldn’t be as bad. I’d told her when we first started dating that communication was the most important thing to me in a relationship. 

A week passed and we didn’t really discuss it as we were both busy with our individual jobs. Then I got a text from her saying she wanted to talk. The next text I received was her breaking up with me. She said she didn’t want to be the only one making the effort to see each other since she had a car and license and I didn’t. She further said she didn’t want me to feel like I wasn’t getting what I wanted out of the relationship since she was into physical intimacy. She’d decided we should break up and that was that. But she still wanted to be friends because she liked my family. 

I was very placated in my response. It was a complete shock. Both because it was over text and also it had seemingly come from nowhere. She’d never communicated such feelings to me. 

I reassured her that I never felt like I wasn’t getting what I wanted out of the relationship. I also told her we could still be friends but that it would take us time to figure out our balance with each other. 

I called texted James when it happened and he asked if I was okay. I responded with I don’t know and he immediately called me. We talked for a while and he comforted me about the situation. The next person I told was Alex. They comforted me as well and we figured out a day where we could hang out, watch movies and eat ice cream as the normal break up fix it. I was grateful for both their support. 

I was hurt by Eve’s actions. I took a risk bringing her to my home with my parents. If they had found anything out about us. I don’t know what would have happened and to call it quits without even trying to work through it or communicate how she was feeling. It felt like I wasn’t worth the effort of her feelings or time and investment. 

I’d made the first draft of this before the break up and the ending had read “I hope one day I will be be to get support from my parents as well but even if I can’t, I hope that I will st least be able to be my true self around them and introduce Eve as my girlfriend” 

That’s changed now. I don’t just hope that I can introduce someone as my girlfriend I hope that whoever I bring home will be accepted by my family for who they are and me for who I am. I’m not straight. I never have been. I might marry a man someday I might marry a woman but whoever I bring home. I will still be bisexual and I will never stop trying to be a voice for those who can’t speak up. Once I’m not under my parents roof. I hope I can live my true life and help those who have been muzzled and closeted for far to long as I have.

[juiceboxesheadcanons]

Yo your headcanons are very poggers, do you think you could do headcanons for the adultrio with an ace s/o? Just in case you don't know, ace in this case means asexual so basically doesn't experience sexual attraction :3 Sorry if your not comfy with that, I didn't see anything about it in the rules so why not ask y'know

YESSSS I CAN!! And you can request anything that’s not against the rules!! I don’t get uncomfortable by literally anything, I just set boundaries for illegal things! THANKS SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING!!! 😁🧃 (and for the poggers it made me smile ngl)

Adult trio with a asexual s/o~

a/n: headcanon count: 30 | this does contain things about sexual intercourse and being asexual, so if you’re against the lgbtqia+ community fuck off and go to hell, but if you’re uncomfortable with this topic just scroll and you’re valid! 🥰🧃

Chrollo

🧃 he doesn’t actually mind much (stan him)

🧃 he isn’t that into sex or anything of that sort to the point he won’t date you because of it

🧃 he probably will read more about it so that he can understand more about what this is and why you feel this way about intercourse.

🧃 if he saw anybody making you uncomfortable by saying sexual things, quick kill +10 points 😁

🧃 the troupe and you wouldn’t be an issue because let’s be honest a couple of them are probably ace as well

🧃I feel like he’s either in a relationship for the benefits of information or a persons personality. He isn’t a player who just wants sex so it’s fine it’s good!

🧃 he wouldn’t treat you any differently from anybody else such as treating you like a innocent baby (shoyo hinata in every mf haikyuu texting video) and he wouldn’t just be straight out “bro why don’t you like sex?? I could change your mind!”

🧃 might hang up a ace flag or two and if he had time go to a pride event but unlikely because of his schedule 

🧃 nobody will invalidate you when he’s around, he would kill them like a fly

🧃 you being ace never will affect the relationship and he loves you just as much as if you did enjoy and feel sexual ❤

Illumi

🧃 like chrollo he doesn’t even mind, probably doesn’t even know what asexual means at this point because you know, uneducated mf

🧃 I feel like Illumi could be asexual, but then again he is married to hisoka so not quite sure?

🧃 he has to look up what it is because growing up in a “kill, money, life is war” household they didn’t bother teaching him about sexuality and his mom is probably a homophobe. silva probably isn’t tho because I feel he’s the one who approved of the hisoka x illumi ship in the first place

🧃 when he finds out what asexual means after 48 websites, and 92 computers he just is like “oh, that’s nice.” idk what else could he say? He probably never was the person anybody would come out too like that bc yk the DEATH stare-

🧃 if he saw somebody making you uncomfortable he wouldn’t kill them cause he sees it has a waste of energy but threaten them to the point oh hell nah they just finna jump off a cliff afterwards 

🧃 but if somebody invalidates you it’s a different story. “come on y/n, I’ll handle them. just go wait in the car.” 

🧃 that person never saw the light of day again. fly low I guess🥰

🧃 he wouldn’t really care if you were ace cause yk he isn’t a giant fan of doing “it” such as others. I mean he thinks it’s nice but he doesn’t just NEED it

🧃 he honestly thinks you’re great if you enjoy intercourse or not

🧃 but still is confused about what asexual is :’)

Hisoka

🧃 okay he’ll be the most difficult out of the 3 to understand you.

🧃 he doesn’t understand at all. It’s great how couldn’t you couldn’t feel or enjoy it at all?? He loves it so how could somebody else just not like it?

🧃 probably will think you’re just in denial until he doesn’t anymore. He’ll think you’re just stubborn until he tries something and you genuinely get upset.

🧃 this is depressing to him but he realizes that you’re not just a toy instead you’re his s/o. He messes up every now and then sometimes, he’s just gonna need some practice at this.

🧃 when he realizes you’re serious he will never try anything on you but if he lets something slip out he’ll probably just apologize and shut up

🧃 he’d hang some ace flags around and would celebrate pride with you, he thinks it’s nice because he is canonly pansexual so you guys could relate in one link, and he probably went to pride every now and then but he goes more often if you were to be comfortable going because anything for “his darling~”

🧃 if anybody invalidates you just like chrollo, quick easy kill (oh she passed away? aww, aww alright anyways yall want some mcdonalds? 🤷🏽‍♀️)

🧃 honestly be grateful that you don’t have to explain what ace is to him because I feel he’s educated on all topics like this, not like he had a family to educate him (fuck yo homie dead 😜) he just felt it was important 

🧃 this would throw him off a small bit but he still loves you just as if you weren’t ace

🧃 this is gonna be a challenge but he’ll get the hand of it soon :)

Okay that is it! sorry if it seems to typical but I am not part of the community myself and tried to research as much as I could for it to seem realistic ✨ ANYWAYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING!!! SEND IN MORE REQUESTS GUYS I LOVE THEM 😁🧃

[itswasteland]

Notes on my faceclaim for Tony Stark: 

I’ve been meaning to write this up for some time. Henry Golding is white on his father’s side and Malaysian of indigenous Iban ancestry on his mother’s side. This will be reflected in his character.  Depending on the artist at the time, Tony has been drawn very white, while at other times he’s been coded as Asian. Obviously in the MCU, there is no such ambiguity (and racial ambiguity is a cheap attempt at diversity anyway, but hey, so is the constant bisexual baiting in the Iron Man comics….anyway….). Under the cut are some thoughts on (1) why I changed my fc and (2) the Asian Model Minority Myth and the “smart Asian” trope. TW for Long Post. 

Disclaimer: If you feel anything below is wrong, problematic, etc. please feel free to message and let me know. It’s no one’s job to educate me but my own, but if people have insights, I’m here to hear them. 

Originally my face-claim for Tony was the wonderful Charles Michael Davis, who is Black and Filipino because (1) I play Tony according to one of his earlier backstories where he was not adopted and his parents weren’t this dynamic duo they were later written as. His mom was an immigrant “mail-order bride” who then self-taught herself English and started up a series of charitable foundations while battling an abusive husband; for this reason, it’s important that Tony is represented as bi-racial (his mother was written as Italian and, yes, historically, Italian people have also been treated like shit in the U.S., but as most Italian-Americans have by now successfully assimilated into general white culture, I think this needs to be updated–and i say this as someone of a Sicilian family, AKA the “dark Italians” that other Italians hated for, you guessed it, colorism). (2) I believe Iron Man should be Black. And I still do. Most of the tech, advancements, and science America runs off were Black-made and white-stolen, and having science-savvy Black characters in comics is incredibly important. Iron Man should be Black, but Tony Stark isn’t. And a lot of this just comes down to Howard Stark. 

He is the epitome of white capitalism, and he stepped on anyone he needed to to get ahead, while telling himself–and the world–that it was patriotism and the American dream. Howard might have been smart, sure, but he just wouldn’t have gotten where he did without white privilege. That has to be acknowledged. Tony’s story is largely about being the face of stolen advancements. White, class, male privilege is part of Tony’s story. 

Tony is not someone who persevered against the odds, the world against him; he’s someone who had success handed to him (which doesn’t erase how hard he worked or how smart he was or the abuse he had to overcome–but that’s the thing: acknowledging white privilege doesn’t mean you never worked hard or don’t deserve any success–it means you had a much easier time getting there than a POC would have in your shoes). Much of Tony’s story is about waking up and seeing that privilege and trying to do some good with it and to pass that mantel on (without turning into some white savior). Which is why Ironheart is the Iron Man the future needs, not Peter Parker (who I also love–but it’s time for Riri to have that spotlight). 

Now onto my faceclaim. So much of the original Iron Man story is dependent on Asia in problematic ways (this was later changed to the Middle East in the MCU–another war where U.S. Imperialism was the real enemy–but it was originally the war in Vietnam). Through 70+ years of comics, Tony has been working in and out of parts of Asia, selling off parts of his company to different Asian-based industries, etc. (with his girlfriend, Rumiko, and her father’s family being from Japan, many of the comics took place there, but they also took place in China, Vietnam, and Malaysia). 

Marrying an Asian wife and having an Asian son would likely have been very appealing to Howard as a way to help solidify those business connections, while believing and impressing upon his son that all Asians are smart, so he should always do perfectly and any of his intellectual success isn’t really his personally, just a given. And this is a part of Tony’s story too. Though I don’t play Tony’s adopted arc, the idea behind it is that Tony is told all of his intellect, all of his personality, is down to ‘coding’ done to his genetics. This turns out not to be true, but that idea is very real. We see this narrative all the time–Asians as ‘genetically deposed’ to be smart–seen as a “good” stereotype when in fact it’s incredibly damaging. It also creates a caricature: the smart, tech-savvy, and usually inherently asexual Asian man incapable of leading (always deferring to someone else). What we don’t see as often is the consequences of that–the mental toll, the self-questioning. The fact that Tony defers automatically to his intelligence to prove himself but wants to be seen as tough, attractive, a leader, etc.. 

My Tony is not only waking up to the realization of his white and class privilege, but to his own white-washing and the model minority myth. (You can read more about that here.) This is not only super damaging to Asian children in general, but also helps contribute to racism in America, particularly anti-Blackness.

 “When paired with racist myths about other ethnic or racial groups, the model minority myth is used as evidence to deny or downplay the impact of racism and discrimination on people of color in the United States. Given the history of that impact on black Americans particularly, the myth is ultimately a means to perpetuate anti-blackness.” 

For more info, here is a book on Asian Settler Colonialism. The short version of this is that in order to continue this lie of the “American Dream,” many Asian-Americans are made to believe that they both are free from racism and discrimination (erasing a lot of racist American history in the process), while having simultaneously “overcome” racism, meaning so can everyone else. It’s often a difficult process unlearning this and realizing that this “success” of the “American Dream” is both detrimental to Asian communities and other POC. Asian-Americans are often used to continue white supremacy. 

And a big part of Tony’s origin story is about being used. He benefited from it certainly, was well paid to shut up and be the smart one (which is the point of a model minority narrative: if you’re moving up the ladder, why should you question it? meanwhile, others continue to be oppressed and the system continues) , but Obadiah was the one in charge, taking whatever Tony’s big brain could come up with and selling it for his own interests. 

This will probably be added to in the future, but this is already long enough as is, so I’ll stop there.

[ultravioletsoul]

Virgo Shaka x Reader - N/S/F/W Alphabet

Oh dear lawd, I’ve always found it a little (ok, terribly) difficult to imagine Shaka of all people in a romantic relationship. Out of the twelve gold saints, he’s probably the least likely to be in one. It was already too much effort for my brain to picture him holding hands with anyone, let alone expressing any interest in doing the do, but here I am… writing an adult post about him. 

I need to clarify that these headcanons are about Shaka post the Twelve Houses story arc. Honestly, he would have zero interest in anyone before that since he was a little of an arrogant and vain jerk or, if he did, he would be too proud to admit it because how can a god-like figure like him feel that way?? Ludicrous!

Anyways, yes, after the fight with Ikki (what an absolute mad lad that guy is, bless him), Shaka would be more open to the idea of a romantic relationship but I still feel it’d happen under some special circumstances. And he’s going to be a peculiar boyfriend.

This is a very belated birthday gift for an amazing friend because she loves Shaka, ever since I dragged her into Saint Seiya hell ♥♥. Forgive me if it’s terrible *le cri* 

Warnings: Sexual content. Possible OoC. Unbetaed. I have no idea how this happened. 

                                                             *  *  *

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex): 

Despite his serene appearance, how collected he acts around others, and the way he carefully reins in his emotions to the point he may come off as cold and detached, Shaka can be surprisingly caring and soft with you after an intimate session between the sheets.

Considering he would only do it with someone he deeply cares about and that it’s not a decision he’d take lightly (people just assumed he was asexual until they learned about you and then were confused as heck), you have to mean a lot to him.

So of course he wants to share the warm afterglow of lovemaking with you, lying together in complete bliss.

He may not be very talkative afterwards, but don’t take it as a sign he is troubled or displeased about something. Your most recent experience is still sinking in his mind and he’s not used to feeling so many strong emotions at once.

Little actions such as playing with your hair, kissing your forehead, letting you snuggle against him, or draping a protective arm around you to bring you closer, are ways in which he would show his affection.

He’d also like to make sure you’re both clean and refreshed before a good night’s rest so don’t be upset if he scoops you up in his arms and takes you straight for a warm bath. 

Just let him pamper you while he’s in the mood for some touching and cuddling ;)

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s):

Not actually a favorite part of his body, but he likes it when you gently run your fingers or place feathery kisses across his abdomen. If you tease him and “innocently” draw closer to his cock, he’s going to have hard time resisting you (no pun intended :v) and may turn the tables on you.

Shaka loves everything about you but his favorite part of your body would be your eyes because of the beauty of soul he sees in them. 

As a saint who fights to for Athena and justice, he knows there is evil in this world but you are a lotus flower growing in the mud. And it’s because of people like you why the goddess he serves believes humanity is worth saving.

He can easily get lost in them when he’s making love. It’s one of the few times he wouldn’t want to close his eyes and he would gently encourage you not to break eye contact either. He loves gazing into the depths of your soul as you both reach new heights of pleasure in each other’s arms.

Nothing but that moment with you matters to him. When you’re two alone in that room, you’re the only deity he worships in mind, body and soul.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically):

Sorry to break it to you guys, but Shaka wouldn’t do cum play or anything of the like.

He’d actually be weirded out if you even suggested the idea to him, and he wouldn’t understand what’s so attractive or exciting about it.

He’s a guy who has always been meticulous and methodical in everything he does given the teachings he’s received from his mentor (the Buddha :o). As someone who has engaged in lots of meditation to clear his mind from fears and doubts, personal hygiene and cleanliness are important to him, so he would prefer to keep the mess to a minimum if possible. So no, he isn’t in a hurry to see you doing stuff with his semen.

Shaka likes coming inside you. It’s the only place he ever wants to be when he makes love to you.

It’s a wonderful, intimate moment and he would hold you tightly against him as your souls mesh together into a single being.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs):

It has never interested him before but, after starting a relationship with you, out of curiosity, he might have read some texts on the subject of erotic love. It was for science, tho!

Now now, of course he isn’t oblivious to the intimate affairs of couples, and nobody has to explain to him how babies are made. You can rest assured Shaka knows perfectly well how sex works. 

He wants to be a better partner for you but, for all his knowledge and wisdom, he’s aware he’s not exactly the most versed man in such matters. 

Despite this, Shaka adamantly refuses to ask anyone for advice, so you bet he’s gonna do the research on his own. He can figure this out.

Shaka would keep it classy, however. Nothing pornographic or vulgar is acceptable. That’s not how he wants to treat you.

Shaka’s approach is purely analytical and educational, and he reads it all with a straight face. The others would never guess what he’s actually up to.

It’s a serious matter for him. He wants to make sure he’s got what it takes to make you happy not only on a physical but emotional level as well.

In the past, the thought of sex wouldn’t have even fazed him. Shaka cared very little about it and honestly he didn’t see what the appeal was.

He still doesn’t much care but when it comes to you, he’s not against the idea. 

Fine, he digs it.

But he’s a little embarrassed to admit it.

As someone who has trained to let go of his attachment for sensual pleasures and desires, it baffled him a little that the thought even crossed his mind.

That hasn’t stopped his curiosity for learning more about how to please you.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?):

Shaka is a virgin. Don’t @ me. 

That’s the real source of his power. Geddit? *fingers guns*

On a more serious note, it is no surprise that he’s not very experienced.

It’s not that he thinks sex is something dirty or bad per se. He just never had the time or any interest in the pursuit of such trivialities. Lust and sexual craving are not traps he would fall prey to. He devotes himself completely to his duty as a saint of Athena, and so he avoids distractions that would hinder the fulfillment of his mission.

You’d most likely get to be the first sexual experience he’s ever had and it’s no simple feat to seduce the man who’s closest to being a god. He believed himself to be above such worldly affairs until he met you and boy…

He was wrong once again.

Finding ecstasy in your arms is nothing short of divine.

Shaka would take his time to be intimate with you, though. He doesn’t do casual sex and needs to be absolutely certain of your feelings for each other first.

However, don’t let his virginal status fool you. He has made his research beforehand (see letter D), he has prepared and knows where to go.

If he doesn’t get it right the first time he’ll try again and again until he has you writhing in pleasure. His own satisfaction is secondary to yours.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying):

Lotus. I’m sorry for being so cliché OMG.

Pic (NSFW)

He spends a lot of time in this position when he meditates, so don’t be surprised if at some point he wants you to sit on his crossed legs and ride him.

Shaka would enjoy the intimacy and closeness this position provides. 

It’s not a position that allows for frenzied love-making, but that’s precisely why he likes it so much.

Buried deep inside your wet core, he can feel your heart beating against his chest in unison with his as he holds you in his protective embrace, and there’s nowhere else he would rather be.

He loves it when you shower small kisses on his face and happily surrender yourself to him.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.): 

The first times, Shaka would wear a serious expression because he’s concentrating on learning what you like, what makes you tick and curl your toes.

He’s studying you not just on a physical level. Intimacy is beyond simple carnal pleasure for Shaka. It’s a matter of spiritual connection.

He’ll get more playful and cocky (no pun intended) once he learns how to push your buttons.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.):

He doesn’t have a lot of body hair and always keeps his face clean, shaven and moisturized.

His nails are well trimmed. His hair nicely brushed and scented. His body devoid of bad smells. 

That being said, he’s not very hairy downstairs (he’s got mostly a patch of soft blond hair), but he keeps things well groomed. Shaka doesn’t like sloppiness.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect):

It’s gentle lovemaking with Shaka and nothing less.

However, he can get too caught up in the details and in delivering a good performance that it may be a little difficult for him to really get lost in the moment.

He’s too worried about being perfect and bringing you pleasure that he sometimes forgets about the most romantic aspects.

Reassuring him he’s doing a good job will put his mind at ease. Be appreciative of his efforts and give him your undivided attention.

He’ll be the most doting lover ever because sharing his bed and body with you are very special to him.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon):

Shaka has an unbelievable control over his sexual urges and, even if he’s in a relationship with you, that wouldn’t change a lot.

He doesn’t usually masturbate, even when he’s been deprived of your touch for long periods of time (which would be when he’s away on missions for the Sanctuary). He can handle it no problem.

That doesn’t mean you’re not on his mind. Shaka always thinks about you with the deepest love and respect.

Masturbating can never compare to the bliss he feels when you’re in his arms. It’s just empty pleasure and would leave him even more frustrated, aching for you.

He would rather show you how much he loves you and missed you the next time he gets to see you.

Mutual masturbation is something he wouldn’t mind doing, if given the chance.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks):

In all honesty, Shaka is not overly kinky and he’s perfectly content with vanilla sex.

However, he lowkey enjoys being dominated so if you flip him on his back and mount him, he’ll find it a nice game changer.

Ride that boy, seriously. He gets off on being a bottom and the sight of you enjoying yourself so much would drive him to the edge.

Tease him all you want, deny him release or keep him from touching you, he’ll endure it like a good boy.

But if you think you can run the show for too long, get ready because Shaka will get his due.

You’ll have to learn you can’t play dirty and expect him to show you mercy.

Bad girls like you deserve divine punishment  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do):

He’s a bit old-fashioned, so he prefers the privacy and quiet of his own bedroom. Discretion is Shaka’s middle name.

It’s very practical and convenient too.

There’s no better place than his bed: clean, fresh, comfortable and quiet. He can relax and get in the mood without worrying about anything else.

He also won’t mind doing it on the floor, provided it’s pristine and there’s a plush mat with lots of cushions on it.

If he’s in your place, your bed and environment have to be clean and neat or else he’s not going to feel up for any sexy times.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going):

As someone who spends a lot of time inside his head, he needs a stimulating conversation to get him going.

It doesn’t even have to be sexual. You could ask him about his life as a saint or engage him in some philosophical talk. He’ll be happy to share his knowledge with you and will be interested in what you have to say.

Stroke his ego a little but don’t make it obvious.

On the other hand, witty banter turns him on, too. He’s got a sharp sense of humor but if you can turn around his jokes and roast him, leaving him speechless, he’ll want to get even through other means.

And you can imagine how  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Shaka loves foreplay. The more foreplay you have, the more aroused he’ll be. He can spend hours just kissing, cuddling and touching.

A nice bath with him can also get him in the mood. He’ll feel more comfortable if you’re both clean and fresh. It doesn’t matter if you’re about to get dirty again.

If during foreplay or sex you whisper sweet nothings in his ear and praise him, that’s a sure way to turn him on. Praise that boy if he’s doing an amazing job, he’ll try to do it even better.

On the other hand, don’t be shy to tell him if something isn’t working for you. He’ll know if you’re faking it and that will kill his inspiration. He’ll start doubting himself.

He likes it when you talk dirty to him, even if your words make him blush, but refrain from being vulgar. He will find it in bad taste.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs):

Anything that involves humiliation or degradation of you or himself.

Any weird kinks.

Don’t ask him to get into hard-core BDSM. He won’t do it.

Edgeplay. Anything that would hurt you is a big no for him. He loves you too much and wouldn’t bear the thought of bringing any harm upon you even if it’s consensual.

He won’t do it in public places.

Poor hygiene will definitely turn him off.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.):

He may not be very keen on the idea of oral sex at first, whether it’s giving or receiving. Poor bb is still shy even if he doesn’t want to look like it.

But he may be open-minded about it once he gets more experience with you.

He’ll get there with gentle guiding and reassurance, but don’t rush him if he isn’t ready yet. Let him go at his own pace.

Once he gets past his initial shyness, he’ll be more confident to go down on you.

He won’t mind receiving but he prefers not coming in your mouth or any other part of your body.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.):

Let’s be honest. Shaka doesn’t fuck. Ever. He’s not gonna rip off your clothes or manhandle you or use you like his plaything. That’s not his style.

Don’t get the wrong idea. Despite his cool exterior, he’s still a passionate man. It’s just that his passion burns slower than most.

He will take his time to make sure everything’s perfect so you both can take delight in the experience.

His mindset is one of enjoying the build up and the journey rather than desperately rushing to his destination.

He wants to relish in every kiss, every caress and every sound of pleasure you make, he wants to feel all of you— to reach into your soul.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.):

Quickies aren’t his thing. Shaka’s sex life isn’t very spontaneous, so suggesting him to pull off a fast one isn’t going to appeal to him.

He can control his urges and expects you to do the same. He can wait until a more appropriate time for intimacy.

Shaka needs preparation to have sex. He wants to be in the right state of mind, he needs to plan the details of that special night with anticipation, he doesn’t want to leave anything to chance or else he’ll find it difficult to be at ease.

Let him have it his way, it’ll be worth it.

Conversely, you can teach him how to be less uptight and not to fret over being flawless.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.): 

Shaka is game to experimenting as long as you talk about it beforehand, but don’t expect him to go outside his comfort zone. It’s a feat in itself that you even managed to get him laid.

He prefers sticking to what works for you both, so keep in mind he’s not very adventurous. 

But he’ll do his best to please you and will be open to suggestions on how to spicy things up in the bedroom.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?): 

It may not look like it but Shaka has a surprising amount of stamina.

Though he’s a bit slow to warm up, his passion will burn longer.

He won’t tire out easily but if you’re exhausted already he’ll let you rest. If you want to go another round, he’ll be happy to oblige.

He can last for a very long time without releasing inside you, but he’s also learned to have orgasms without ejaculating.

All that meditation and self control stuff? Well, turns out it’s helped him have a wonderful sex life with you :v

Bae can keep going all night long. You’ll sooner get exhausted before he does.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?):

He doesn’t own any toys. The only toys he knows are the ones kids use to play.

Blindfolds and restraints are okay. He’ll use them on you if that’s what you want.

He still prefers simple, intimate, vanilla sex. Less is more for him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Shaka can be a big tease when he wants to so don’t expect him to be very merciful if you provoke him.

He loves it when you beg him like a god tho.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): 

He’s not very loud. Shaka is always restrained about how vocal he is, but you’ll definitely hear him grunt and sigh and moan often.

He prefers listening to the sweet sounds you make.

Once he’s close to an orgasm, he can get noisier and will try to muffle his moans by biting his lips or kissing you.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character): 

At times when tending to his garden in the house of Virgo, he’s thought about making love to you under the night sky and among the flowers he’s cultivated.

Your hair covered in petals as the light of the universe shines in your eyes is a sight he wants to see in this life.

Though maybe he’ll never have the chance to tell you.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes):

Ideal size. Not too big, not too small. Proportional to the rest of this body. 

He’s got a pretty cock, honestly. Its texture is silky and when he’s hard it turns a rosy color. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?):

Shaka’s sex drive isn’t very high actually and, if it’s up to him, he won’t have sex very often. He’s for quality before quantity.

You may start wondering when was the last time you even had intimacy.

Don’t be surprised if it’s been 84 years.

He might as well look at the calendar and think “we haven’t done it in a while, next week may be a good time to get it on”.

His training taught him not to grow attached to his desires and he’s tremendously disciplined at that.

It doesn’t mean he doesn’t have sexual desires. He just doesn’t let them control him and is not animalistic about them.

Sex isn’t the most important aspect to have a fulfilling relationship. It’s just the icing on the cake, so to speak.

What truly matters is the emotional bond you two have forged. 

You’re not an object for him.

He can live happily without any kind of sexual intimacy if that’s what you want. He won’t love you any less for it and you’ll never hear complaints or reproaches from him.

Shaka doesn’t feel guilty about wanting to make love to you. Just don’t expect him to be a sex beast ready to pounce on you any time. That won’t happen.

Shaka would have no problem if you have a higher sex drive than he does. He’ll strive to make you happy. 

If you take the initiative and try to get in his pants, as long as he’s in a private and comfortable environment where he can let go, he’ll give in. Otherwise forget it.

Plan ahead if you intend to get naughty with him. Shaka will appreciate the thoughtfulness.

Just don’t take advantage of him because as much as he enjoys sleeping with you, he’ll quickly get bored if all you think about is undressing him when you’re with him.

Don’t reduce him to a sex object for your personal gratification, he won’t be comfortable with it. Respect and love him like he does with you. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): 

Shaka doesn’t fall asleep immediately.

He likes cuddling after making love.

He may have his eyes closed but he’s still awake and he’s listening to your every breath, your heart beating, he’s basking in the warmth of your gentle and blissful cosmos.

He can’t believe he has the most wonderful person in the world by his side.

Even if you both know it may not last, that the next holy war approaches fast and he’ll have to fight, you’ve made peace with it. You accept what the future holds in store for both.

However, that thought still keeps him awake at night.

But he’ll never tell you. He’ll just kiss your forehead and stroke your hair until you’re fast asleep.

                                                          * * *

Well, that’s it. I can’t believe I did this. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed (?

[recklessrex]

Rexy's Cats OCs Part 4: Jellicle Allies...

Jellicallies!

(Honestly I don't really need the pronunciation guide for these ones because they're just normal names but I'll include it anyway for consistency's sake)

Ezekiel

(eh-ZEE-kee-el) An old acquaintance of Taro's and one of Munk's teachers at the training grounds. A veteran fighter with extensive battle scars

Gruff, sharp, and strong-willed

Also surprising mellow

Big people watcher

Like it's his favorite hobby, just chill and watch the world

Keen and vigilant

Introspective

But not afraid to speak his mind either

Knows how to use weapons, but only does so against enemies that are also armed

"Claws against machetes ain't exactly fair"

Carries one of those snap-out collapsible batons that police use as a quickly deployed, easily concealed emergency weapon

Also very skilled with a staff and can make use of stuff like brooms in a pinch if cornered by a machete wielding madman for example

Yes he taught Munk these things too

Typically very casual in speech

Not always very good at talking about emotions

Cares more than he lets on, or admits to himself

Would rather not care but can't help it

Will risk his life to save yours, scold you for getting yourself in this mess, and then continue on as if nothing happened

Invariably calls Munk "Kit" even when they meet again years later and Munk's an adult

Cares very much for Munk as well as Alonzo and Cass (other students of his) even though he'd rather not "get attached"

Munk, Lonz, and Cass in turn look up to him, respect him, and care about him more than he feels he deserves he'd like to be cared for

Used to be on good terms with Taro, though they met rarely and only when Taro was traveling on ahem "important protector business"

Has increasingly lost respect for Taro over the years

No he's not Yaji's favorite teacher

Asexual/Straight romantic

About Skimble's age, give or take

Average height, athletic

Short, unkempt fur

Calico, white and black with orange blotches including an orange patch over his right eye/ear and crossing over his nose, black over the rest of his head, white chin and neck… and so on

Odd-eyed, the left eye is orange, the right is blue

Lots of scars, including a few noticable ones on the face

Most notably he lost his left ear to a machete weilding madman during the same event that killed Cety's family and Arbutus

Not quite deaf in that ear, but sound on that side is now severely muffled and distant, and pinpointing the direction of sound is much more difficult

Nickname: Zeke

Herman

(HERM-an) A sly, independent young Cat that helps the Jellicles when they arrive at the Isle of Storms (more on that in a future post)

Cool, clever, and resourceful

Like for real, he's Mr Resourceful

Calls himself a "Resource Acquisitions Agent"

Gets shit you need

In return for other shit that maybe he needs or that another "client" needs

Obfuscates obliviousness and nonchalance to hide his keen interest in pretty much everything

Legitimately a chill dude

But has an agenda

What's his agenda? I'm not telling (:

Cares far more than he wants people to realize, but isn't in denial about it like Zeke

Separated from his parents in pre-adolescence, has been taking care of himself ever since

Lives alone in a small tent on a 5 meter square fenced in plot of land

No you can't come in

Well, you can hang out in the garden, but stay out of the tent

Has stuff going on he doesn't want you to see

Lacking in education due to growing up in a severely isolated community with banned heavily controlled "limited" internet access

Dude seriously had never heard of Auschwitz and Munk had to explain it to him

Also limited on his pop-culture knowledge

He's learning

Everyone knows who he is but very few people really know him

Seems to be able to come and go from anywhere, locked doors and fences be damned

Like is he magic? *shrug* maybe, maybe not. I'm not telling C:

Will suddenly appear in your camp to trade you three cans of soup for your warm jacket, then immediately go trade the jacket to someone else for a working desk lamp, then trade the lamp for…

Lol for real tho. Will come through for you. Just be patient and considerate (and have something to offer), and he'll get you anything

Be a jackass and he might decide to leave you to your own devices or maybe swindle you ah um er not give you a bargain discount yeah

Was very interested in the Jellicles, and particularly Munk, from the first day they arrived, for reasons he's keeping to himself thanks very much

No not like that. He doesn't do that. Like literally the one thing he has no interest in whatsoever

Ace/Aro

About Misto's age

Slim and kinda shortish

Soft short fur

Solid grey

Teal-green eyes

Very mild surfer-dude accent left over from his early childhood in southwest California

Nickname: Herm or Hermie but prefers Herman thanks very much. Also called "The Ghost" because he's grey and not at all because of the aforementioned ability to come and go as he pleases he doesn't know what you're talking about bruh he just came through the front like a normal person you dudes are crazy

Some notes

My feelings on male calicos in the Cats universe here

The "event" I keep talking about was on a global scale, Zeke wasn't associated with the Jellicles at that time, aside from occasionally encountering Taro. More on that event coming up in a future post if I can ever get it banged out

There's a lot about Herman that I know, but I don't want to reveal until I actually get around to writing this story

Also Herman isn't my only ace or aro character, just the first one where it's come up in context while writing these bios, idk why I didn't think to list sexuality/romantic orientation before…

brb editing previous bios real quick

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5 Part 6

[imaginebeatles]

hey, I hope this isn't too personal that it makes uncomfortable,but I'm kind of starting to learn about my sexuality and knowing that you're asexual I was just wondering how you figured it out, u know that ur asexual, and this might be the stupidest/longest question you've aver got but like if you fell in love with someone does things change and how did you deal with it?

No! It doesn’t make me uncomfortable at all. I know how tough it can be trying to figure things out and having someone tell about their own experiences can really help. This answer may end up being a little rambly (figuring stuff out was confusing for me and took years). This answer is long, so I hope it’ll help you. 

If you have any questions, message me. I don’t mind talking about it :) 

Basically, I never really questioned my sexuality at first. I grew up in a very open-minded household (my mum’s bisexual herself) and I always figured that I’d fall in love with whoever I fell in love with. If it was a girl, then it was a girl. If it was a guy, it was a guy. I never really experienced sexual feelings towards anyone, but I did like the idea of romance and intimacy (still do) so I figured it would come later when I met the right person. Sex was always taught to me by my parents and school as a natural thing that everyone will engage in and that you’ll start feeling those desires when you’re older. For me, I thought sex was weird (the idea of actually doing it or people actually having done it kinda seemed very weird to me), but it still interested me and I liked reading smut fics and having private me time ;) 

When I had my first serious crush at 16/17 however, things got... complicated. He was a friend of mine from school and we began hanging out more during a school trip to America, at which point I began to slowly realise I kinda fancied him. However, even though I wanted to hang out with him and be with him and touch him (hold hands, etc.) and kiss him, I never thought about him in a sexual way (I tried once but had to stop after five seconds because... no). At that point, I had started to learn more about lgbt+ stuff (although my country is accepting, they can do a lot better in terms of education. basically all our sex ed was about heterosexual sex with one a few lose comments along the lines of “sometimes girls like girls and guys like guys” but nothing more in depth than that. The joke was mainly that you didn’t have to worry about getting pregnant.) 

Nothing ever happened between me and the guy (we went on a double date once and flirted a little, but we were both too shy to do anything, and right now I’m kinda glad, seeing as I didn’t know I was asexual yet and having a romantic relationship would have made that whole thing so much more difficult), but it got me to question my sexuality, especially because I realised that even though I liked girls and thought they were beautiful and had strange feelings sometimes, I never wanted to have sex with them, but neither did I want to have sex with guys, making me question if I was bi again (which I am) (also, at this point, people kinda started thinking I was gay (friends and family), so that got me thinking too). 

At this point, I knew about the asexual label, but I didn’t fully understand it (there was a lot of ace discourse happening back then, which didn’t help at all with making me feel like I was experiencing a normal thing). Having always been taught sex=love=sex, I thought that if you were ace you couldn’t have a relationship with anyone and would never be able to love anyone. I really did not want to be asexual, not wanting to die alone. Now, I know this is, of course, complete bullshit, but I was still figuring stuff out. I did find the gray ace label at that point, which offered me a bit more freedom, so I adopted that privately when I started university two years later, though I never came out to anyone. 

At uni I came into contact with other lgbt+ people and we had a lot more academic discussions about gender and sexuality too, which made me question a lot of stuff again. I did more research on both gray ace and asexuality, and got more confident with the gray-ace label. On a holiday to London with one of my closest friends, I came out to them, and we talked and while she didn’t understand it, it did help me think about it more. That was the summer before my third year of university, which I would spend abroad in Edinburgh. Before leaving, I did more research on asexuality and got a more thorough understanding, and finally realised that maybe asexual described me better, so I adopted that label for my exchange year. There, I also didn’t come out, but I did more research and used the label privately for myself for half a year, before I finally came out to @chut-je-dors when I was certain it fitted me. I talked with her about asexuality and she kinda understood. That’s when I fully realised and accepted I was asexual.

Coming home that summer, I told my mum, who started to learn more about it too and then my step-dad. Then, last spring I accepted I was bi too, and that’s kinda where I’m at right now. I’m “out” in the sense that if anyone were to ask about my love life or sexuality, I would tell them, but because I’m generally quite private, I haven’t really told anyone else yet. 

I’m sorry if this was rambly and i don’t know if any of what I told you will help in anyway, but basically, for me, it was a relatively long journey. I was lucky to grow up in an accepting environment, but still the lack of information and the negativity around asexuality really did not help me accept myself. I still struggle with it sometimes, but now I do like being asexual. I wouldn’t want to change it. It’s just who I am and I don’t miss it. 

I did a lot of research on the internet (AVEN is a great resource, as well as youtube videos), and talked about it with people who I could trust, even if they didn’t know anything about asexuality themselves. But yeah, I really didn’t know I was asexual until I was 21 and even then, I didn’t fully accept myself completely until quite recently at 22/23. University was especially a struggle at times, because of certain courses I took where this kinda stuff around my sexuality came up, but it forced me to really look within myself and analyse myself and listen to what exactly i wanted, both in a relationship and sexually. 

The important thing to keep in mind is that asexuality is a broad umbrella term and everyone’s experiences are different. People’s attitudes to sex are different, as well as if they still want a romantic relationship (I do, though I only experience romantic feelings for someone I have an emotional connection with) or not. Also, some things that you may be taught are sexual, aren’t necessarily that. I’m a very sensual person when it comes to romantic relationships and I love intimacy and closeness and touching, but actual sex is a big no for me (though I’m open for negotiations, as I may have forms of sex to satisfy my partner and for closeness with them, but it’s about intimacy, not sex. I can get it through other ways too). This means that my experience of sex is different from others, even if the act itself is similar. Lots of ace people also have kinks for example, but it’s about emotional trust and connection (or something else), rather than sex itself. 

In terms of romantic relationships... I’ve only ever really wanted to date one guy and I didn’t. However, being in love didn’t change anything for me. I still liked him romantically, and I still see people who I fancy romantically or sensually or aesthetically. It’s just that I don’t want to have sex with them. However, as I’m quite neutral about sex, I’d be able to negotiate something with my partner if they want, but this depends on the partner as well as personal boundaries, which differ from person to person. Also, I didn’t really feel like dating anyone until last summer, because that’s when I figured out what kind of relationship I want. Now that I know who I am and what I want, i’m more comfortable putting myself out there and getting a romantic partner. 

Asexuality can be rather frustrating when it comes to dating, however. It makes it a bit more complicated, because you have to be sure you’re compatible in bed as well. That doesn’t mean you can only date ace people when you’re ace, but it requires good communication. However, anyone should probably have good communication with their partners, so to a certain degree, I’d say it’s better because it forced you to do this. The important thing is to know what you want and what your boundaries are. But really, in terms of feelings towards another person, it’s not that different. I just don’t want to have sex with them, but I still want to be with them and do all the other stuff couples do. Sex is not a requirement for a good and healthy relationship :) 

Aside from this, I had some very ace moments of walking with my friends in the streets and not noticing cute guys, because it’s not what I’m thinking about, or feeling weird when people bring up their crushes or sex life, because it seems so foreign and strange. Sometimes the idea that people actually have sex is still a bit weird to me. I just don’t have that desire with other people. 

Anyway, I hope this someone helped you, at least a little bit. If you wanna talk more, please don’t be afraid to message me. Figuring out your sexuality can be lonely and I sure wish I had someone to talk about it back when I was first questioning myself. Just take your time and don’t worry too much. Stuff will make sense eventually.