#anyway I don't think I'm ever going to have this convo with my family but now that I've told the one person I wanted to tell privately

[milli-string]

This is just a fun convo I had a long time ago. I had a close friend, and we debated what would P's life go after the Rise of P ending.

My thoughts were, after reviving Sophia, P had the potential of following Geppetto's footsteps (in a good way):

- building puppets

- probably some kind of ambassador for his kind (despite the condition of Krat, but you know what I mean)

- he can adjust his own legion arms later down the game so he has the potential to be a mechanic or engineer himself if he wanted to (may probably be necessary in some part because, well, he's immortal. He won't be having the npcs in the hotel for very long as he will outlive them all, sadly)

There's more to it, but for now, my mind spins.

Mostly because the Rise of P ending isn't really the canonical "happily ever after" like in the original story (i know the game doesn't have a canon ending yet). It is P's happily ever after becoming human emotionally and mentally, but not a "real boy" in a physical sense. The Real Boy ending would be the closest to the canon, but in a twisted way (which is absolutely genius on their part because hell yeah, dark and twisted!). I'm also aware that "Carlo" isn't quite human himself, but rather an obedient "good boy" image Geppetto wanted him to be: to kill and to listen to him at all times. (In this case, Geppetto really lost his sanity to achieve his "happy family.")

But anyway, P carrying Geppetto's legacy in his skills would be a really cool idea. I vision Pinocchio being a "father figure" of some kind to the next generation of puppets with awakened ergo; becoming someone Geppetto couldn't. The ergo he collects, he gives it away to a new body. Of course, this would take time for P to really grow his personality from being a puppet with human emotions to a fully mature person. Technically, he's still learning human emotions even after achieving the endings.

My friend's thoughts were P not going into Geppetto's footsteps, and instead he becomes an artist.

RoP Pinocchio is an expressive puppet, being able to feel and understand human emotions as he reached max humanity points. It reminded me how the artists in the fandom drew P as an artist and a musician mixed together. The more I saw it, the more I found it truly fitting for him. This separates P from Carlo and Geppetto entirely, proving that he grew his own personality and identity. (Of course, we don't know what Carlo is into but many people believe he possibly wanted to go into engineering as well, but chose the Stalker life to despise his dad).

It wouldn't make sense for P to follow Geppetto's footsteps due to P being built to literally kill puppets. Why would P care for his kind?

That's true. Why would he? But also, then again, he's still growing. I believe P hasn't fully developed yet, but only grasped the idea of being human, but not at the mature level yet, if that makes sense.

I'll have more stuff to talk about it in the future, but what do you guys think? Curious to hear your perspectives on post-Rise of P ending 🌼

[thecluelessdoctor]

spins in a swivel chair

Guys it's fucking time.

HELLUVA BOSS SEASON 2 EPISODE ... 8?? 9?? Idk I forgot lmao

BUT THE NEW ONE

Boy do I have some things to say

Alright let's get into it.

I'ma start with what I think the episode did right.

Animation, as usual, is awesome, props to all the animators y'all did WONDERFULLY, esp in that beginning duet.

I like that they did a full on stolitz episode with no major sub plots. Yeah there were the cherubs but they were still pretty closely tied to the main plot so.. yeah lmao.

CLAPS INTENSELY

FUCK YOU BLITZ FOR BEING RELATABLE I HATE YOU FOR THAT/POS

Blitz is a character I've always related too and damnit this episode made it worse lmao.

If there's one thing I will always give helluva boss props for it's blitz's character consistency while still adding more layers to him. I also really liked how in this episode we see a more.. soft side?? To blitz?? Not soft but like - a more caring side ig lmao.

Also in this episode we get a real taste of found family like the show wanted us to see before and not just a desperate man trying to force himself into the lives of people who do not want him.

Also blitz in a different outfit always makes me feral because damn this man slays more than I ever could. Also back to the character consistency part, blitz's love for horses still being a little detail about him makes me happy like yes I love it when shows give characters interests without shoving it in your face.

The rest of IMP being wingmen (in their own, weird way) also is fun lol.

Also the cherubs and the DORKS working together is so fun i love the returning villains and I hope we get more of them lol. Also the cherubs being traumatized by the lust ring was ... Kinda funny. Honestly this episode was... kinda funny-?? It's still sex humor as usual but yk.

Also fizzy in rainbow pants let's fucking go.

And I'm glad the eyes on blitzø's gloves are being used and not just pointless clutter in his design. Because now they have the asmoduan crystal like let's go.

Also having a stolitz episode WITHOUT via or Stella even being brought up is SO refreshing. I liked how it was just about stolas' raw emotion, and care for blitz.

And HOLY SHIt. Ok. The end scene of blitz yelling at stolas' for "throwing him away", and once blitz REALIZES stolas' actually CARED about him, he tries to run after him, but it's too late. He's fucked up.

Ok I've sung my praises, let's go into my criticisms.

...

Honestly? I don't have TOO many. I still have some, I always do, but this episode.. was honestly really enjoyable.

Sure the sex stuff is.. pretty annoying and gets old fast but it's helluva boss what can ya do, really?

I feel like, now this is a whole show critique, not just the episode, but I feel like we are going to fast. We are told it's been a ton of time from the last time stolas and blitz did their monthly activities so ueah.

I feel like the emotional convo was a LITTLE stiff in the beginning, but yall? Brandon rogers make blitz sound so genuinely angry and sad, so I feel like it brought us back.

Anyway.

I'm Dotty, and I shouldn't be genuinely invested in this telenovela ass show

[theaawalker]

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ A QUICK WIPS OVERVIEW.

Hello! If you don't know me yet, my name is A.A. Walker, and I'm the author of 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐀. I'm also a tortured artist who's struggling to find a new job in this economy, but that's for another day. I’m very excited to share my dear projects with the world, but mostly YOU!

These introductions will be brief, but each work-in-progress (WIP) will receive a thorough and detailed post when it's time. The projects are listed in the order of occurrence and when I'll be posting about them, except for the first WIP.

As disclaimer, most of these are fantasy but have marks of philosophy (i.e. existentialism), bildungsroman, and adventure. In my works, I tackle mental health, identity, the psychic apparatus (id, ego, and superego), interpersonal relationships, spirituality, empiricism, generational curses, and our connection to the unknown. In addition, triggering topics such as SA, suicide, child/family abuse, systemic oppression, cult life, and more are depicted. Please heed this going forward, as some subjects might be alluded to in my wip blog.

It will be 12 years in October that I have been developing this series, spawned from a dream I had at eight years old. These stories have been with me ever since, and matured as I have. Each novel was created from different periods of my life, dating back to 2012. I intend to share these literary masterpieces in the 2030s, but for now... I'll keep at the puzzle which is writing characters that are gayer than I am.

Now onward, my friends! To the WIPs!

VOLUME 1

— currently revising the first draft. — multi-pov — a young prince chosen to save the world from an ancient evil must [leave his kingdom, travel infinite realms] and unite a team of seven young guardians, confronting both external threats and the internal doubts of his reluctant allies about the worthiness of their mission. — contains philosophical convos around a bonfire, teens with magic, supernatural creatures, and eight clashing personalities. — “‘Besides, the world’s gonna end anyway. Mass murders, overpopulation, pollution, crashing economies, global warming, climate change. People are already destroying the world. Do you think they want to save it? No. Why should [we]? Why postpone the inevitable?’”

VOLUME 2

— will continue draft starting dec. 25th — multi-pov — seven guardians, led by a young prince, must retrieve a powerful, magical artifact from the babylonian New World City, battling both fantastical creatures, a hidden malevolence, and crossing paths with tainted outcasts that challenge the guardians' convictions and heroism. — tackles pillars of the patriarchy, powers dynamics, true crime with metahuman elements, and the similarities of cultists and politicians — “‘Are you sure you're the heroes in this stories?’”

inspo creds to yourpenpaldee♡

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ THE END (for now).

[burrythebusy]

Why Hirano and Kagiura are made for each other

Copied from a convo I had about how hrkg are so made for each other. I had so much to say about them oh my god. Buckle in its long

Cw// for swearing

Hirano likes to take care of people, he has this just innate urge to make sure people are taking care of themselves and eating and sleeping and content, he provides people comfort even if he doesn't know how to handle it because thats what he DOES, he doesnt go OUT of his way but he will go as far as he's willing to go (and he is usually willing to go quite far) for others.

And of course he's this way towards his friends like Sasaki and Miyano and even Ogasawara. He tutors Sasaki and helps him study, he listens to Miyano’s BL rants even though he doesn't care nor understand, he comforts Ogasawara with his BL-fangirl-girlfriend problem and empathizes, but God, there is absolutely no way he would've known with them that Hirano cherishes being seen that way. Being acknowledged for his constant acts of genuine care and love and support makes him happy. But that's not Sasaki's personality, that's not Miyano’s personality, that's not Ogasawara's personality, even if they appreciate him for things or give sincere thanks for any of it, it is not nearly as open and honest and brazen as Kagiura Akira's gratitude towards Hirano.

He's already a kouhai and his roommate, which in a way. Guarantees that he will in some way shape or form rely on Hirano, and Hirano doesn't know how to treat a kouhai but he does know (maybe a little subconsciously at first) that he takes care of people. So he is willing to learn how to take care of a kouhai, he wants to know (maybe for other reasons too, e.g. I don't want him to think im scary, but point still stands) and he's going to make sure he does it right. But Kagiura Akira, he is so so so so outspoken and genuine about his gratitude because that's how he was raised. Always showing his love, showing it to his parents specifically, they taught him to be upright and thankful about what people do for him. And he's always smiling. He's always smiling and thanking Hirano and Hirano just FALLS. HE HITS THE GROUND

Kagiura is probably the first person to ever be so open about everything Hirano does for him and how thankful he is, and Hirano is just so so so filled with joy because of that, that he keeps doing it. He's like, God, he's so happy, he's smiling and thanking me he's SO HAPPY that I'm kind and that I do things for him so I wanna keep doing it. No one else could do that. That is a Kagiura Akira thing to do. That IS Kagiura Akira and it means that no one else could be Hirano’s roommate and have him feel this way.

And Kagiura, again, is someone who has been taught to show gratitude, to be genuine, to be honest, and there's more to it than that as well. Kagiura values family, and he values closeness, and he values his parents and he wants to model himself after his parents. I genuinely think he looks up to them in other ways than just romance, but he definitely models LOVE after his parents in general. Love that is being best friends as well as lovers. Love that is being close and sharing things and laughing together and joking around and just being FRIENDS as well. He is full of love to give. And he's a middle child with annoying as hell siblings that never give him room or privacy but he loves them anyway.

Everything is just close close close he wants to be so close to the people he loves. He wants to love, he wants to have a lover that is his best friend, so that he loves every single part of them without fail. He will be so sincere about that love too.

And this part of his personality to me is why I think his relationship in middle school didnt work, and was him doing it because he felt he had to rather than because he truly, truly liked her because of the description of their relationship in the light novel just doesnt add up to me. He immediately confessed to Hirano in chapter nine after getting a glimmer of hope. He immediately shows Hirano how much he loves him even as just a friend from the get-go. He even confesses to him in like chapter 4, to his first boy crush, and we don't see nerves as much as we see hesitation, but Kagiura is so confident and he's popular too (and had been in middle school presumably) so he's used to receiving love but he's not as used to giving it but he has so much love to give and the moment he can HE WILL. HE WILL SHOW THAT LOVE IF ITS THE LAST THING HE DOES

Kagiura wants to love through and through, to give it and to receive it fully, he wants to be close to someone, and to be close to someone means to be open to them, to show them love and gratitude and everything, and Hirano Taiga is right there. He's introduced to a scary looking roommate but is immediately smacked in the face with the fact that he's so kind. This sempai, my roommate, he's so kind, and he's my roommate and my sempai meaning I can rely on him, and he relies on him and Hirano just OPENS HIS GATES (the best metaphor i could come up with at the time shh). He literally opens his arms and is relied on. He eats his peppers because kagiura doesn't like them when he could just simply not eat them. Nope. Sempai eats my peppers for me. He's so kind. Hirano wakes him up because Kagiura is not a morning person and loves his sleep. Wow, he could just tell me to suck it up, or could just tell me some better habits, but no, he wakes me up. Sempai is so good to me. Hirano goes out of his way to help him study and give him tips and old tests because I suck at studying and my grades aren't the best, but he could just do one or the other and leave it at that. He could've just left me alone. But no, he does all this for me. One on top of the other. Sempai is so thoughtful.

And Kagiura receives all of this, he absorbs these acts of kindness and these gestures because he's relying on someone, and you know what? Eventually, he's receiving this real, genuine love he craves so much. Hirano becomes his best freaking friend and it becomes a cycle of Hirano showing his love to Kagiura because Kagiura shows his love and gratitude to Hirano for showing his love to Kagiura and it just goes again and again and again. Kagiura wants to be loved and he is loved, and he's loved like a best friend and that's enough for him that he loves Hirano like a best friend, and he wants to have a lover like a best friend, one like his parents, one he can rely on, one he can do anything with and tell anything to, to open up to one another, to be like family, and they are like family, not brotherly but just that CLOSE.

Hirano's "motherly tendencies" translate differently with Kagiura. It's family but it's not motherly, but it's LOVE. It's familial, it's platonic, it may be romantic too. And Kagiura feels that and he takes that and his heart is like THIS IS IT. It doesn't matter that he's a guy (though I am an avid "I only like guys" kagi believer so it could only BE a guy but i digress), it doesn't matter that there's a year gap or that he's only known hirano for less than a year, it's that Hirano shows him this love that he's been wanting since he was a kid, that he's been seeing, and yeah it's a little of a naive view or rather, not fully thought out but it's his ideal relationship and HIRANO IS HIS IDEAL RELATIONSHIP and that love he receives from Hirano makes him love Hirano back, familial, platonic, and romantic, just like his parents.

It couldn't be anyone else because most others would not show that much love towards Kagiura from the get-go. Most people wouldn't go that far. But it's a feedback loop. Hirano wants to do things for people automatically, and he does it for Kagiura because he wants to, and then Kagiura completely DECIMATES HIRANO’S OLD SELF when he shows such unfiltered, sincere gratitude and appreciation towards Hirano for it, and he does it so happily and easily with not one qualm because that's him, and so Hirano does it again because he wants to see that again, and Kagiura smiles brightly he freaking GLOWS he SPARKLES again and tells Hirano he's so grateful for him. Hirano does it again. Kagiura shows him again. And eventually, pretty soon, Hirano is loving him, and Kagiura is feeling and receiving that love without realizing it and loving him back, and he loves so strongly that the love changes and shifts and becomes every love because receiving such love from Hirano makes him love too, but it could only happen because it's Hirano, and it could only happen because it's Kagiura, and it could only happen because Kagiura lives too far away from the dorms and only goes to said school bc he was scouted for basketball, and because Hirano happens to live in the dorms too as a second year that has hidden reasons and ambitions and wants to study his heart out, and its when the scary bad-boy that's not really a bad boy opens that door for a tall freshly enrolled high school freshman and scares the shit out of him, that it all starts, that's how they found each other. They are literally soulmates

[butmakeitgayblog]

Can you Tell us the story about how you met your wife and got together? I know It was somehow Clexa related, pretty please ;)

Oh Sam's not actually my wife 😅 we're not married and probably will never get married. Between us both being the products of divorce (and unhappy marriages prior to that involving parents who stayed together way too long), plus with my whole health issues thing and maybe ending up needing to be on disability down the road, we just decided to shelve that whole notion for the foreseeable future, possibly forever. But in spirit she is, a piece of paper isn't needed. I mean she buys me rotisserie chickens 🥹

Anyway yeah!

So shortly before the pandemic hit I was going out to dinner with a group of friends and one of them asked if she could bring her cousin along. She said her cousin had recently moved down into the area for work and didn't really know anybody else and so, ya know, it'll give her a chance to socialize. We all met up and it was nice and I'm thinking hmm she's cute but also pretty quiet and kinda stoic and probably straight so it was like meh whatever she's alright I guess 🥴. But then during dinner I was eating something that everyone knew would make me feel icky and I said something along the lines of like, "Eh fuck it, victory stands on the back of sacrifice, right?" Fully thinking no one would pick up on it because I knew no one else there had ever watched the show.

But then miss thang's head shot up like 😳

Nobody else having caught this reference, we spend the next several seconds having a silent

moment across the table 🥴

She said I turned both white as a sheet and then fire engine fuckin red😅😅😅 (I have a very real blushing problem. It's the cross I bear that comes with the chubby cheeks, r.i.p.)

After that she started joining in the convo more and actually coming out of her shell. We started kind of having our own side convo just between us and when the check came everyone else decided to call it a night but we stayed behind and had another drink at the bar. We ended up staying till right about closing, and then exchanged numbers and decided to ~hang out~ the next day ~just us~.

For the conversation, obviously.

And that was kind of that. We saw each other pretty much every day after that and text constantly and called each other every night before bed if we weren't staying over together. At first Iiiiiii had a *moment* of panic of not really knowing what we were because it just went from not knowing she existed to having her be kind of the focal point of my life, but she was kind enough to just be like "🙄+😏+🤦‍♀️ we're dating, Andi. We've been dating. That's what we are. Don't hurt yourself there, champ."

So kudos to her for that...

It was tough during the beginning stages of the pandemic because she has family that is very high risk and so do I, both of which if they got it they'd probably die, so quarantine and social distancing was rough but necessary, but we worked through it and both feel more solid for it. And now we live together and she helps me take care of my mother and myself and I do my best to be her support and help her and be her best cheerleader whenever I can 🥹

Downside tho is I'll forever be labeled "Cousin Fucker" in my friend's phone contacts 😒

[breannastewart]

as an avid aces hater when are we gonna wake it up how a’ja is doing now, what stewie has done for YEARS, all while they discredited and invalidated it when stewie did it because of “seattle being a superteam” and how it didn’t really count because she had sue.. sorry it’s just funny to me

well I have MANY thoughts about this lol. so let's go.

people act like what vegas has done is something unique and special, having all those number one draft picks, growing and building something together, blah blah blah. the seattle storm did it before vegas did, but I watched plenty of people say they didn't like them and it was bad for the game that they were winning. in 2020 someone legit called them a superteam so it's not impressive before the superteam talk really began last year. the seattle storm were never a "superteam" by what we know a superteam to be. sue, jewell and stewie were all number one picks, just like those aces players. sami and AC were players no one gave a shot and only became who they are because seattle gave it to them, and they developed into solid, solid pieces in that system. the only notable player they got in free agency was natasha howard but she was not the player she is now, she became that WHILE in seattle. vegas didn't do it all entirely organically, chelsea gray was not an original piece, they got her in free agency like they got CP3 in free agency. as for the stewie and a'ja part of this, stewie could do a million things right but it would never be enough to impress that side and I'm vice versa it's the same, but I have NEVER seen a fanbase more vicious about their preference than the aces/a'ja/sc side. when it was stewie vs a'ja for MVP in 2022, I distinctly remember people saying stewie can't be MVP because she has a bunch of number one picks around her, but somehow that wasn't a disqualifying factor for a'ja who did as well. and those teammates of a'ja's were ALSO in the MVP convo, whereas stewie's teammates were not. stewie's team record was a disqualifying factor for her MVP case, because her team was 4th. despite the fact that she singlehandedly dragged them to that top 4 finish, without her I don't think they would have gotten there. that seattle team was not as deep or on that year as they were in the past. VALUABLE is in that title, so you tell me what added the most value to their team in that run? they said it should only go to the best player on the number one team. but I'm sure now this year, that somehow will magically not be a factor in a'ja's case given vegas' record halfway through the season. they will be the first to complain about goalposts moving all the time, but no one moves them more than them. and guys, these people couldn't STAND that storm team. I'm serious. when someone said back then it was bad for the league that seattle was so stacked and winning, I remember asking was it bad for the league when the lynx were stacked and winning even MORE, did y'all hate them as much as you do seattle? do they hate vegas that much now? no, clearly they don't. I'm sure they think what vegas has done is just fine. and mind you, seattle was doing all that without being the shady POS vegas has been over the last few years. people conveniently overlook that, too. they hated seattle simply because they were good, they hated sue and stewie, and always wanted to start some campaign that jewell was overlooked and should leave when jewell made it clear REPEATEDLY that was the place she was happy. and there were media who very much played into this whole thing, people who were able to get credentials to interview people like sue or stewie, but then talk shit about them constantly on their little twitter accounts. all seattle ever did was be good and love on each other in their little family bubble and people couldn't stand them. it's funny as much as it's not funny, really.

but anyway. it's fuck all of them and vegas forever until karma finally does it's big one or whatever. side note: at least my MVP hasn't ever been super chummy with a weirdo super fan who is also an abuser, so. I at least can always feel good about that.

[thousand-winters]

Hello pal!! I hope you're doing well after that rough morning 💖

For the writing fic ask, 1, 4, 25, 26, and 27!

Hello!!! 💖 Thank you!!! I'm awake at unholy hours of the morning when I really shouldn't be, but much better in that regard ahaha

The last sentence you wrote

I'm so glad I started lazily working on one of my wips because it would have been mortifying to put in a sentence from like 3 months ago or something ahahaha:

“How rude, I was just trying to look out for you,” Tome sniffs, fully aware that by now Reigen doesn’t buy her little act –as if he ever had anyway–, but hoping it buys her some sympathy points. “So, are you gonna open or what?”

Really hoping I can update this one soon.

4. A story idea you haven’t written yet

I have a list where I just dump all of my upcoming wip ideas with no regard for how polished they sound right away and this one is still so funny to me:

"Dimple being like one of those overprotective dads who don't want boys to date their daughters but with Mob and Teru Just in general him being kinda mean to Teru while Mob is first oblivious and then like ???"

I think this was came to be because Dimple in the fanbook is mean for no reason about Teru ahaha. When he gets asked about who he would like to possess and he goes "I bet I could tank Hanazawa's reputation so fast", like, Dimple, what do you have against him, he's living his best reformed life now ahahaha. So this silly idea came to me.

25. Besides writing, what are your other hobbies?

Tough question because I feel like sometimes I'm busy enough I don't really do too much in general ahaha.

I like playing videogames and reading if that counts, though I haven't have the time to do either of those in ages, I need to make some time for those soon or else I'm gonna go crazy haha. I enjoy doing crafts though I don't have a chance to do them often either.

I think my primary hobby activity is having deranged conversations about my fandoms ahaha. AUs, headcanons, random scenarios, analysis... the amount of back and forths I currently have going with friends is... alarming. Once you start being babbly about those things, turns out the convos just keep being generated like spores lmao

26. Are you able to write with other people around?

Oh, absolutely not 😭 Especially not my family but to be fair, I don't tend to do anything personal in front of them because my sister is noisy and can be quite mean sometimes haha, so I just... don't.

Now, put me to write on a google document or something with other people there and I start second guessing every single word I'm putting down or just going "aaaaahhhh, whatever, whatever!" while writing the first thing that comes to mind, which doesn't feel like an optimal writing decision. It's fine when it comes to just outlining or such, but not the actual writing.

27. Your favorite part of the writing process

I'm quite messy when it comes to writing so I feel like the process for me is more like chaos and screaming and panic and tears sometimes ahahaha. But honestly, I enjoy the writing in itself. Once I have a clear direction of what I'm doing in this one scene, for example, I can just rush through it while writing to my heart's content, and short of having writer's block, that feels really fun and rewarding to me.

I'm not much one for editing, frankly, because I get embarrassed once I do the final read through my work, but I enjoy the minor edits through the way. I know it's not recommended, but I tend to do that a lot, writing a sentence and then going back to look at it because it was too plain or badly phrased and modifying it until it works better for what follows or for what I want. I like that feeling of "yes, this is it".

Thank you so much for the questions!!!

From this ask game

[tarisilmarwen]

Ahsoka "Fallen Jedi" Liveblog

Let's go let's go let's go let's go let's goooooooooooooo!

Oh I'm so excited for this I already know there are Developments.

Hype hype hype hype.

Oh we're starting off with complete silence are we? Okay.

Sabine trying to raise Hera. :(

Ahhhh yes it's the "Ahsoka and Sabine butting heads about saving Ezra versus stopping Thrawn" convo Sabezra fandom predicted.

"Can I count on you?" Low blow Ahsoka, recalling Ezra's own words.

"I know how much Ezra means to you." *falls into this line, dies*

Oh don't let Huyang get shot, come on now, you already had him get blasted once.

Buncha trailer shots in this episode I'm guessing.

"Stay together. You always did better that way, in my opinion." Ha ha ha this would be a sweet line if we had ever actually SEEN Ahsoka and Sabine working together. *grumbles*

Hera going off by herself to go help Sabine and Ahsoka lolol. That little face she makes when she says, "Watch me."

Baby Jacen is still super precious.

The GHOOOOOOOOOOSSST!

This sequence would have been the perfect spot to drop Zeb in, you know. Just saying.

Go girls go, go, go, you need to get on that ship before it leaves!

And it's my favorite new villain couple.

If Shin could have a bit more personality she'd be more interesting but "feral" is wearing thin.

OH AND NOW WE HAVE A TICKING CLOCK DEVICE.

There were people complaining that this moment where Ahsoka wipes Marrok was lifted from "Twin Suns" but in context... no it's just Dave's usual thing for cool samurai finishers.

Oh wow Shin looks extremely unnerved at Marrok dissipating into green Nightsister mist.

Did... Morgan take all the guards and droids with her? Just leaving Baylan there by himself to handle Ahsoka huh? What a bitch.

"One must destroy in order to create." Nooooooooo they really don't Baylan, that's grade A horseshit.

And stinks of Empire and Sith apologism.

The map is gorgeous. Wish they'd turn the saturation and contrast up just a smidge more so the colors could POP.

Oh this music cue is great!

YES! LET BAYLAN CUT LOOSE. Man is a beast.

Ahsoka's trying to disengage long enough to get the map. :((((

Ha ha, nice. Mandalorian trick.

Ooooof the map burned Ahsoka's hand?

Ahsoka where's your shoto blade?

Right, like Sabine's dinky little blaster is gonna do anything to that map, sure Ahsoka. You just burned your hand on how super overheated it was and all it was doing was generating hyperspace coordinates for a cross-galactic jump, you think a shot from a small firearm is gonna pierce it?

Oooooh that angle-back closed-eye look from Baylan... he's telepathically reading her like a book isn't he?

"Your family died on Mandalore because your Master didn't trust you." WELL I'M JUST GOING TO PATENTLY IGNORE THAT BECAUSE NO FILONI, YOU CANNOT JUST DROP THAT IN LIKE THAT.

Getting real tired of character motivations being reveals and not outright stated from the start.

ALSO WHAT EVEN THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT???!???

THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY NICE TO ACTUALLY SEE, OR YOU KNOW, TALK ABOUT BEFORE THIS MOMENT.

Anyway as I said, excising this bit entirely from my personal canon, Clan Wren is fine, they're just in hiding like all the other Mandalorian clans.

"And I... to serve a greater good." Ohhhhhhhhhhh I see what you did there, nice paralleling Baylan to Thrawn.

SABINE CHOOSES EZRA.

(I mean I knew it was coming because I was spoiled but still.)

Sabine, Sabine, my poor heartbroken babygirl, this is such a human choice, it's not the choice a Jedi should make but then Sabine isn't a Jedi, I maintain that this is all still playacting and cope that Ahsoka is indulging.

Sabine is falling into the classic Attachment trap but also there are no good choices here. She could try to destroy the map, but I seriously don't think it would work, and then Baylan would just kill her and take the map back anyway.

Maybe she could run but with their ship damaged she wouldn't make it far, she'd have to hide in the woods and avoid Shin and Baylan and whoever else she's stranded and fight them all off by herself for who knows how long until maybe Hera gets there. And she has no way of knowing if Hera's coming.

Oh ouch, I thought Sabine was having a "What have I done?" reaction to handing Baylan the map, but no, Shin is just choking her.

HERA MADE IT.

See it takes Baylan deliberate sustained direct contact with his lightsaber blade to destroy the map, no way was Sabine's blaster gonna do shit to it.

SABINE DID NOTHING WRONG, I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.

Again, guys, this would have been the perfect sequence to have Zeb in.

Uhhhhhhhhh I would move away from the ring if I were y'all.

HO JEEZ.

OH BOY.

WELP.

Chopper sounds really unnerved.

THE WORLD BETWEEN WORLDS. THE STAR VOID.

Unless it's a weird-ass Force vision lol. Which is still possible.

Yeeeeeeeah I'm going with Force vision, Anakin should be blue and glowing, shouldn't he? Unless things work differently in here.

The Imperial March is not reassuring.

Okay well... that was a thing.

I'm starting to wish Deborah Chow had been showrunner for this, Filoni is doing... okay-ish (not really) but I really think this story needs and deserves a director willing to go all-in on the emotional resonance and beats of the story.

Which isn't to say the Kenobi show didn't have its problems (ho ho boy could I list the nitpicks and writing issues I had with it) but Ahsoka isn't quite reaching the highs it needs. Everything is way more subdued that I think it should be. I don't know how much of this is the writing, how much is the short mini-series format, how much is the cinematography or the directing.

THAT BEING SAID I AM HERE FOR SABINE MISSING EZRA SO MUCH SHE SACRIFICES HERSELF AND THE MAP FOR THE CHANCE TO FIND HIM.

See everything about her motivations makes so more sense if she's in love with him, sorry Filoni, the ship is still sailing.

Baylan got a bit more characterization here and got marginally more interesting, while Shin just... continues to be wet paper. RIP Marrok we hardly knew ye. Hope they explain the green mist shit soon.

Natasha's shoulders must be sore from carrying this show lol. Someone please let Sabine hug Ezra, she will feel so much better.

[oboetemasuka]

I loved seeing you Amanevember art and I wanted to pick your brain 👀

There were some cute interactions with the other characters (both in and out of Milgram) and I was wondering some of your thoughts on Amane’s relationships with them. We got a bit of content for her and Fuuta, comments about Mahiru and Yuno, and now some... interesting info about Kotoko -- how do you think she feels about them and the others we don't get to see?

Sorry for the delay. Consider my brain picked.

We know Amane looks down on Fuuta, but she also wants to help. I believe she genuinely means it. I like how they traded blows in that one timeline ("If you don't eat your meat, you won't get any bigger"). It reads like sibling bickering. (Stopping self from talking more about those two)

Mahiru's birthday timeline... easy to take as a threat, but it feels more like a warning. Maybe I'm projecting, but too many times I've said things that were taken in a different way. Anyway, I think Amane really does like Mahiru. That question about who she'd have in her family... she could have said "no one" just as easily as she did for other questions.

Yuno... I mean, their last conversation was civil if nothing else. Even when Amane said, "Don't go out of your way to sit close to me. Go away," she talked when Yuno persisted.

Kotoko is- *bzzt* ...I'll put a pin in that.

As for the others...

I don't think Haruka and Amane ever had a timeline conversation. Haruka was scared of Amane, but not anymore. Anything I say about Amane here would be conjecture, but I feel like she might want to help Haruka like she helped Fuuta. As for the "this will not end well" drawing, I feel like it wouldn't end well for Amane.

No idea about Muu beyond "Muu likes nice things and cute things". Amane secretly likes these things too and uses Muu as a proxy. Maybe Muu could get Amane to open herself up to indulgence.

We all know Amane dislikes Shidou. I wonder how that'll play out in trial 3. Maybe Amane calms down and ignores Shidou. If she attacks, I don't think Shidou will just stand there and take it. He knows Amane is hostile, and he has the means to protect himself. Failing that, there are other free, uninjured people around to intervene.

I haven't quite grasped Amane's dynamic with Kazui, but at least he doesn't seem to look down on her?

And finally, the good ol' blunt force trauma duo. I wonder what Amane thinks of John's noises keeping her awake at night. I guess she doesn't mind that much if she still talks to Mikoto after that. (Need to figure out the order of the timeline convos that the Minigrams are based on)

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

Scar anon again I'm so sorry for sending consecutive asks but mashima really made the coolest dude + team ever (laxus n the raijinshuu in case it wasn't obvious) and then refused to elaborate like???good sir I would have paid for a full series of Them?? The raijinshuu are so criminally underutilised like I want to know their backstories!! I want to know how they came to join fairy tail!!! I start frothing at the mouth everytime I think about how mashima did the raijinshuu so dirty esp during the Tartarus arc ;- ; anyways sorry for the rant it's like 4 am and I'm having many Thoughts ok that's all from me for real this time 👍🏼 peace!

Everything after Tartarus is my villain origin story lol, not even joking. It's so messy.

Im not singing praises for everything before it ofc there was some jank from beginning to gmg but after tartarus' end the story and characterization really seemed to start coming apart at the seams and it really tanked everything even though at that stage mashima's art was 10/10. Which is a shame bcus tartarus really was a step in the right direction tonally but it just stopped right there. Copped a massive W then tossed it out for consecutive L's.

But yea man! Laxus and his squad! Laxus will forever be a sorta sore spot for me because of the dropped Dreyar family plot thread. The whole dealio with Ivan, Makarov sending Gajeel to spy on him, Laxus' lone adventures. It really could've culminated in either a small side arc or a B-plot of an already existing arc

(I personally would add it into Tenrou. Take Gajeel off tenrou to have him doin his spy gig, accidentally meet up with Laxus during that, plot details regarding the dreyar family happen all while the events of tenrou go down. The duo gets wind of Grimoire Heart heading to tenrou from Raven Tail due to all dark guilds sharing info. The duo head over to tenrou post haste and allowing gajeel to carry out the iconic gajevy moment where he saves her and justifying why Laxus ended up on Tenrou instead of just randomly showing up at the nick of time. But alas, details lol)

Thunder Legion's always been interesting to me though. I'll admit i dont think about them often but they are a pretty unique squad with varying personalities across the board that, on paper, you probs wouldn't expect em to be friends, let alone friends that close and loyal to one another.

Their magics are also a main point of interest because it really is so out there. Freed in essence has an upgraded solid script (plus those unused transformations the beast lookin one from fantasia and the more streamlined one from tenrou), Evergreen has the petrification magic (alongside her main magic with the energy attacks) and Bickslow? Soul manipulation? That can't be legal man. The magic system in FT is really underexplained and has a anything goes sorta deal (hello summoning gods) but man, i would've loved something there for these 3- power limits or drawbacks, how it works, whether its magic they naturally manifested or learned or both. Something along those lines.

And while i don't think a backstory would've been necessary for them per se, because at the end of the day they still are side characters so relevancy of the information learned throughout the story dictates how much is really needed to be known and this extends to learning about how they joined the guild as well (i personally think they all joined as adults tbh. I know a lotta peeps like to think of em as a teen friendship squad but i really prefer it they were an adult friend group. Having a friendship that strong forming in their 20s feels right to me), but i think even a one line or 2 regarding their pasts could come up in conversation for that information to come up naturally.

Like for eg. Freed gives off rich kid energy, so perhaps he's a runaway rich kid like herself but not from Fiore, that could be revealed in a convo with Lucy at some point to strike common ground between the two. Evergreen feels like an orphaned soul turned away (i personally think she gives off Jessie from pokemon vibes) by others a lot so why not a kinship with her and Juvia or even Mirajane? Bickslow the wild card could spout jokes about his acrobatic skills he learned from being a street performer, just something. They're not perfect concepts no, but they're little ways the characters could've been given even a scrap of info to help learn more about em.

Also uhhhh, it always threw me off that they weren't all S-class wizards so i think it would've been cooler if they were a whole squad of s class wizards who attempted a guild coup instead of just 1 s class and his homies. Aight byeeeeee.

[dudeslut]

For the pervy questions,

11, 14, 17, 19, 41, 82

11. Is there anybody right now you'd like to have sex with?

Hmm surprisingly, not really. Other than celebrity crushes lol. Most of the people I'm friends with or see regularly are women or transfems.

14. A song you'd listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?

I have actually not listened to music during sex before. My partner's/partners' moaning and dirty talk are what I like to listen to haha. I feel like a lot of the music I listen to is not good fucking music anyway.

17. Are you into dressing up for sex?

Yessss! I'm into lingerie whether for myself or my partner. I'm also into mild crossdressing like skirts, panties, fem crop tops. Though I wouldn't mind getting fucked in a maid outfit either. That's about as elaborate as I'd go because anything fancy I'd be too scared to ruin. Also I just think skimpy/revealing clothing is hot.

19. If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?

Ah fuck uhhhh idk 😭 maybe this one professor I had a couple years ago who was really hot and charismatic. Interesting guy too. I had a few one on one convos with him and we had a lot of similar interests. I hope he didn't pick up on how flustered talking to him made me because unfortunately he is married with kids 😔

41. Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/ video of yourself?

Nah I haven't had a partner in awhile and that's the only time I'd want to take photos/videos of myself. I'm also not great at taking erotic pics/vids, I don't have a good eye for it and I end up looking goofy as hell and not in a good way. I think I'd much rather send and receive audio with a partner since I think that's even hotter.

(there's two number 82s so I'll answer both)

82. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

GOD YES- I mean, omg who said that? 😳 But yeah I fucking love it. Degradation kink go brrrr!

82. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?

Yeah when I was in high school one of my family members nearly walked in on me jerking off but thankfully I remembered to lock the door. Unfortunately they stuck around to talk to me through the door since they just had a quick question to ask. Thankfully they were only there for a minute but the jumpscare shook me 😂

Send Pervy Questions!

[cathalbravecog]

If Bella's son (Tony) is purple and she is blue... Does that mean her husband is red? Like red and blue mixed together into purple

(tony is belle's child, they are non-binary and use they/them pronouns!) /lh)

SHORT ANSWER: no! or... maybe? i, or anyone for that matter, knows nothing on who her partner is! unless i am missing things. (if so, tell me, but be nice and direct!)

LONG ANSWER UNDER THE CUT!! A WHOLE RAMBLE, because we all know how i RAMBLE! below i talk about design process stuff, where i am trying to go with the story??? ideas on what happened to belle's partner (but not who they are) and Light TTCC Lore Criticisms.

thanks for asking! i actually had a small converation about this with a friend yesterday - of figuring out who belle's partner is/was. she never ever mentions having a partner, and she's very focused on talking about just her grandchildren. i know that is just to portray her grandma trope - but her being mrs. dama **AND** having a confirmed family and grandkids (and kids by extention) does make me raise an eyebrow at that!

i am sort of making my own story here, that's been in the works for over a year but hasn't gone anywhere due to struggles with cassie's design. but, now i'm getting there, so now's a good time to ponder!

--------

to the design-side of things - i haven't really considered these colors while designing collin, i just went with a more purpley-than-blue design to fit his role as a sellbot better. (and because i LOVE drawing and designing things with purple.)

i then designed tony backwards (after collin!), and haven't exactly considered who the other parent is. i wouldn't break my mind over the colors too much, myself, since that feels almost genetical and these fellows are robots. with that, i just made tony purple! (but red was considered, i think! on my touch tone touch tone telephone)

also, i am re-working how cogs/suits function in my work, so i am once again stuck on the "how make baby where baby come from" question. but, i stand with my previous headcanon, that it is like in Robots, where they build their children and just often do it based on their own physical traits they have.

--------

either way, back on topic, i wanna talk about belle's partner since it is fresh on mind!

i actually considered making her a widow - which my friend suggested too! adds a bit more drama and reason into some of the actions the damas take in my current story, and it makes more sense and fits together better.

would also give an explanation on why someone who's so invested in her family never mentions her partner - because she's trying to move on / has moved on. (though we don't hear of all her rambles and rumor-talk, do we...?) + we know me and my bright colorful characters who do goofy things who actually have slightly fucked up stories behind all that. i promise i am not trying to make an angst fest, i just want a story with ups and downs and conflict and drama to... have a story...? can't have a Real Good story if nothing happens and all is good, lol. just wanted to say that

or just a divorce story! also stirs a family apart. gives different but similar reasonings for actions the character's take... and POSSIBLY an even better reason to not discuss this (past) partner!.... why a divorce story? WE DON't KNOW HOW COGS/SUITS DIE. DON'T MAKE ME TURN THIS INTO ANOTHER ATTICUS LORE CONVO. ILY ATTICUS BUT CHRIST WAS THAT POORLY HANDLED.

and now it's being put under the rug without being DIRECTLY SAID it is being put under the rug... (aside from like, old comics being hidden and us being told there's a rewrite happening) so now the lore is even MORE confusing than it was...! so...! how canonical is "the first death" anyway...? if anything that's one thing in the story i want to respect. quite a BIG deal. but also even back then it wasn't handled as seriously and interestingly as it could've been so...! aaaand i am sure the Writers know that and i think trying to rework it is a great choice. but man. i will for once let my opinions and criticisms be public, hidden away in this ramble - staff needs better communication on Everything but ofc lore stuff is gonna be my first Complaing lol. yall r saving explanations for later and behind an event (thomas) and args...! please what happeun to atticus...! ok i already turned this into a ramble. MOVING ON. I NEEDED TO VOICE THIS PUBLICLY SOMEWHERE LOL. BUT YEAH. IM NOT PLAYING WITH THE IDEA OF COG DEATH UNTIL THE CANON CLEARS IT UP. EVERYONE GETS PLOT ARMOR LMFAO. MODS WHO FOLLOW ME PLEASE DONT KILL ME. I LIKE THIS GAME

--------

HERE I TALK MORE ABOUT THE FAMILY AGAIN SCROLL HERE

BACK TO THE DAMA FAMILY! now.... why am i so adamant of having belle's partner out of the picture?

i don't wanna design them. that's that. i'll be real. lol.

i am... ! already working on cassie's partner, and eventually THEIR child. this has been a concept for over a year and i'm slowly finally getting there, i don't want another member on my shoulders just yet :sob:

and the whole story i am telling here is heavy on the family drama (before i try introducing other characters perhaps...? cassie does have her partner, but her side of the story is a bit disconnected, her being a celebrity in my lore and all. generally being more distant in the family.)

so... that is to say! belle's partner could be anyone! could be red, blue, yellow... who knows! but! red would be nice because red on phones is Nice and The Usual Phone Color Depiction. you can imagine them as whatever for now, as i do not plan on getting a design done for now.)

divorced, widowed, still married... where my story is going is still unclear. and so is the design! probably will never exist. i'll see - i do need to focus more on belle in the story, as it's very tony/collin centric at the moment.

[silly-plays-p3r]

me seeing the latest post: wait, mitsuru and aki have known each other for years and she didn't know that? how the fuck were they ever a team? (silly feel free to correct me but i got the vibe the 3rd years were specifically close with each other thus the whole thing with shinjiro; am i misremembering?)

No no, you're right anon!

As for her not knowing he likes to doodle (or at least used to?)...... Well.....I thought the scene indicated it was more-so in the past. So I'm guessing he doesn't do it now (or at least as often). And tbh unless he was like....Yusuke or something (wait is this happening because of Kanji/Yusuke.....I'm not going to look into that moving back!), you know an artist. I think Mitsu would've noticed. She's very......perceptive/wary of everyone's needs and that includes Akihiko.

As for the 3rd years closeness. I def think they are close (oh I was going to link to an old post.....did I never post it? hm.....we'll I guess I'll state it here from what I remember).

Shinji/Mitsu I don't see interacting much (most of it is in the PQs or P3R imo). But ShinjiAki and AkiMitsu? Hell YES. I think Aki is ironically the glue for these guys.

ShinjiAki are obvie because of how much the game spends on them. But the MitsuAki friendship???? Oh man....these two are RIDE OR DIE. TT0TT Like they usually understand each other's needs so well.

(more under cut)

I feel like they speak about each other fairly casually, not in the Japanese sense but.....like they just will say stuff about each other "Oh yeah that sounds like them, that's what they like" and it's easier to notice with ShinjiAki cause I feel like it's baked more into the main story and AkiMitsu is mostly optional dialogue.

But the thing that made me super soft for them was when Yukari 1st confronts the group pre Yakushima. And demands to know stuff and Mitsu started almost spilling her trauma.

Mitsu: Anyway not all of us had a choice to fight.... I.... Aki: Mitsuru! Don't.....

This means.....Aki knows about what Mitsuru has gone through. Him not wanting her to spill everything I think he knows how much her own past has hurt her (not just her family's). She was more open talking about her family, and he didn't stop her. But when she almost talked about herself, I think he knew it might be too hard for her and told her to stop for her sake.

Between this and Mitsu covering up Shinji's killing (which I'm sure she feels responsible for not just the death but the cover up as well). And just trying to navigate Ken with Akihiko and keep it covered up..... The fact all three keep it covered up (and Ikutsuki is just...watching with pop corn TT0TT). They def are close.

(I was about to move on but I forgot the other thing!)

So another instance is after Mitsu's dad's death, if you talk to Aki during this timeframe, he legit says "When Mitsu is sad, I'm sad" and Fuuka(?) will comment on how upset he seems. Like this mfer is more upset looking when Mitsu is grieving than when Shinji died. TT0TT I was SO SOFT! My heart was in pieces kldfsaj;fa orz ;aljskfdjaf I still haven't recovered. I went from "yeah I like them they're neat' to "oh god my heart I love this ship gimme more" klfasdfl orz why do they hide all their amazing dialogue in optional convos????? orz orz orz Wait I saved the screenshots cause I was so shooketh! TT0TT

Ahem....ANYWAY!

I feel more for the 3rd year trio and their comradery than....well......the beginning Trio (MCs/Yukari/Junpei). Even the penta 2nd year group (MCs/Yukari/Junpei/Fuuka/Aigis) isn't that strong. Fuuka feels closer to Natsuki than the rest of SEES tbh TT0TT And Natsuki doesn't even get that much screentime u_u

The only trio that comes as close to the 3rd year is the moonlight bridge one (MC/Aigis/Ryoji).

Of course I feel like he game nerfs AkiMitsu's closeness in favor of pushing the bs MitsuYuk*ri friendship narrative >_> I dunno why Aki never approached her......was it helplessness? I dunno it feels weird.

So I guess narratively.....I guess they are kinda like friends who sit in the same room in silence, and then every so often to reveal a random fact about themself and the other is like "Oh wow cool" but they both really like that and thus will hide a dead body for the other person if needed. Like

*Aki/Mitsu/Shinji reading in the lounge* Mitsu: I found a nice cook book recently, would you like it Aragaki? Shinji: .........uh....yeah... Mitsu: Great I'll give it to you later.... *time passes* Aki: I broke a guy's nose at my last meet. Shinji: Good going meat head. Mitsu: That reminds me of when I broke a researcher's nose when I was 10. Shinji: Oh yeah? Why'd you do it? Mitsu: He wanted to test a new drug on me, it made my persona go a bit wild. But we all lived in the end. Aki/Shinji: ........................huh....... *time passes* Aki: I saw some guys bullying that one shrine dog. Shinji: Let's kill him. Kirijou- Misu, getting off the phone: I've already made the arrangements.

I dunno that's kinda the surface level vibe they give off. TT0TT They know A LOT of the key stuff about each other, but don't seem to pry unless the other party starts it.

[darsynia]

This afternoon is a TRIP. Just hit a follower milestone 💚 ty for following!! 💚 right after getting back home from DRIVING AROUND FOR THE SECOND DAY IN A ROW LOOKING FOR MY CHILDREN.

Rant about the school and my kids lying to me under the cut.

At the beginning of the school year Youngest's teacher and I held multiple conversations about dismissal, and during none of them was I told a family member had to make eye contact with the teacher (2nd grade) to dismiss Youngest. This only became an issue a few months ago when Middle Kiddo was sick and didn't walk home with Youngest, Oldest forgot to pick her up after being reminded, and so Youngest just... played on the school grounds instead of coming home for funsies.

Then I was threatened by the school about following the handbook (there's nothing in the handbook about dismissal), told I would need to have a WRITTEN PERMISSION SLIP for my older daughters to walk Youngest home (also not actual policy they made it up because they were mad), and finally everything was worked out because the Vice Principal was embarrassed that I knew what I was talking about and called her out on the gaslighting. So we agreed that one of the two sisters had to pick up Youngest every day. They worked out a schedule.

Yesterday, I found out that Middle Kiddo has been running away and leaving Youngest to walk home alone for weeks now, and just slowing down when she gets close to home so they walk in the door at the same time. This after some random old guy (we live near a thriving main street) gave Youngest twenty dollars and wouldn't take it back. So you know, already some danger there.

So I said we'd have to have me come in the car every M W F because Tuesdays and Thursdays the Oldest walks Youngest home. Except Oldest was sick today, so we agreed that Middle Kiddo would do it. Oldest felt better, walked up to say bye to friends, and when she got there, she said Middle Kiddo was looking for Youngest. The teacher said 'oh, Youngest told me her mom was picking her up so I let her leave.'

Guys.

The school THREATENED ME and said I had to have WRITTEN PERMISSION for even the OTHER SIBLINGS to pick this kid up. But the teacher just let her go? (I should add, on the first day of her kindergarten, all 3 kids were set to wait for us to walk home with them, and the teacher just let Youngest leave with her siblings against policy because they looked happy to see each other. The three of them proceeded to get lost and it took us 90 minutes to find them. Which, HILARIOUSLY. HI LAR I OUS LY is why there's stricter policies on letting kids leave with siblings now. It's because of that. Which they just did. Again. To the same kid.

I CANNOT.

Anyway, Youngest just walked her ass home without looking for me or her sisters. And my husband just said 'I don't think you should try to get her teacher in trouble again.'

I never tried to get the teacher in trouble! The VP asked me how I was under the impression that second graders could leave of their own free will and I said that, you know, I'd stood there for 2 school years picking her up at Kindergarten and First Grade and NEVER SAW SECOND GRADERS EVER WAITING. Also I read the fucking handbook. Which doesn't even have K-1 supposed to be escorted but whatever. Apparently the VP went to talk to the teacher and the teacher was like 'whoops yeah I was supposed to tell her' but ME NOT KNOWING THAT IS NOT GETTING HER IN TROUBLE.

I'm just.

I have parking anxiety. It's my biggest stupid fear. I hate it. I used to leave for the school an HOUR EARLY so I didn't have to struggle to find parking. I REJOICED when she hit 2nd grade so I didn't have to park and walk up and pick her up in person. I was CLEAR about that to her teacher (I actually just... incidentally mentioned it to her teacher. Who didn't tell me 'actually I need you to come this year too' even though we had multiple convos where she could bring it up). So for this to STILL BE A THING in MARCH.

I am going to have to go every day and park and pick her up. Cause I can't trust the school, I can't trust the kids, and I just... don't want Mr. 'here kid here's $20' guy to turn out to be malicious.

BONUS STORY:

When Oldest was in kindergarten, we had bussing because actually the street that kiddos have to cross is huge and dangerous. So dangerous that they required us to bus even though we're close. Now that they don't have funding for busses after covid, they just have them walk across it anyway with no crossing guard but WHATEVER. The bus picked our kids up last and dropped them off first.

But! It had a little dogleg kind of route it took and sometimes the bus driver was lazy. This meant that instead of dropping my kid off at the first bus stop, she just got to sit there in terror and watch as the bus drove farther and farther away from her house, OR tell the bus driver he forgot OR just get off and make her way home instead of being in trouble for still being on the bus when it skipped her stop.

Oldest usually chose option #3. So there I am, I've got a 2 year old and I'm 9 months pregnant, and it's pouring down rain, and there's no Oldest at the bus stop. She's 5. I call the school. They call the bus driver. Bus driver is confused, says he'll just swing by when he's done with Oldest.

We wait 25 minutes in the rain.

Bus driver drives up. Shrugs. No kids left.

We start driving around looking, and finally decide well heck maybe she figured out how to get home--and yep SHE DID.

So yeah this school and dismissal... it ain't great. They did that to her about 5 more times that year. She thought it was fun.

[whatimdoing-here]

weird personal update under cut, mostly for those who've been around awhile. i guess i can put an intro too.

honestly there are so many new followers here i'm assuming for gif reasons but... like.. sorry guys. it's a fairly rare thing. others do them better and quicker than me for the most part. my poor 7 year old laptop i make them on is a struggle. new person intro to me below, but first let me get to the part where i journal so it's off my chest.

i use tumblr as a journal of sorts. and honestly it's thanks to tumblr in general i started questioning my sexuality when i was in my mid 20s. living in a very white, conservative state - even if you live in a liberal family, that shit just gets ingrained. i was never homophobic or anything, just didn't consider anything other than straight an option. long story short, figured the bi was the best label for me at that time, definitely made me feel better, and more like myself. my partner (husband) was like yeah that's cool all good i support you let me know if you need anything from me and it's been great since.

another... long-ish story in a shorter form... i started struggling the last year or two with all of it again. just feelings and s.x feelings and whatever, a big reason of why i started therapy. basically come to the decision i land on the ace spectrum somewhere. i know much less about being asexual, and it definitely doesn't feel as "good" coming to this realization. i think i probably fall close to the demi- label. but labels and feelings are hard. and since 1) i'm pretty uneducated and 2) no one wants to hear about my sx life, i'm not going to go into things. i just wanted to throw out there that... i'm still figuring shit out. this convo with m was a lot harder, went a lot worse. then there was a better second convo. he's still supportive, it's just harder for reasons that are personal to him so i won't delve into. our relationship is okay, he doesn't want to open our marriage, and not much has changed honestly. i'm still trying to figure out my boundaries, and where my 'am i doing this because i want to or feel like i have to' lines are. it's... not fun. adding to that that if things ever came to the point where our marriage wouldn't work... that completely changes not only my life in a large way, but the kids, and m's. that is the fuckin scariest thing. sexuality discovery would be way less scary if i wasn't scared it will eventually negatively affect people in my life. i'm very much a "i will accept this thing that's not great for me and be quiet to keep the calm and happiness of those around me" in most cases. i don't like taking up space for myself. it's been a rough couple months.

anyway if i had to label i'd go with biromantic, asexual (with some ace labels i may or may not ever figure out)

getting older is a fuckin trip. you think you should know what you want and who you are but no one really knows. and life changes us and we discover more about who we are. for those newbies that are not even 20... your 20s and 30s are great. just... be prepared to shift and change and evolve and be okay with that.

anyway. new folks. i'm alex. i live in the middle of the us. i have two kids (boys, 8 and 5) that... i've been on tumblr longer than either of them have been alive. i work from home in (broadly) a data role within a corporation. i enjoy my work, its flexibility, and just data in general. give me numbers. i've been married for 14 years this june, and i'll be 34 in july.

i watch nwsl and uswnt for sports mostly. working on reading more novels again. obviously my tv obsessions are clear within minutes of looking at my blog. i talk parent stuff too sometimes, it's obviously a big part of who i am, but i'll leave their names and pics off the blog for their safety. i'll show my stupid face here though. sometimes i'll talk about seizures (i have them occasionally, unfortunately, and my brain isn't feeling great right now) and other medical stuff if it's bothering me because this place really is like a journal release for me. i hold some stuff back but yeah. i'll tag with 'personal nonsense' if you want to mute. sometimes i post and delete because i read it again later and decide no one needs to read that shit.

you're always welcome to say hi. i'm fairly harmless, but also keep walls up until i know you better.

uhhh i think that's it. mmmbye

[archive-of-wax]

I don't even know where to start with my love for this post, I've literally been rereading it over and over all day. This is by far the best interpretation of Trudy's parenting I've ever seen. It really captures the complex family dynamic we see onscreen with the twins, both with their mother and each other.

It's easy to focus on Trudy's evident abuse of Bo in the opening scene, but I think this is the first time I've seen anyone really analyse her interaction with Vincent. It's also one of the few times I've seen anyone speculate about his perspective or thoughts regarding his mother and her parenting, and I think you're spot on. Vincent wasn't showered with unconditional love while Bo got constant abuse. He was smothered with overbearing attentiveness that probably caused more issues than it fixed. Helicopter parenting certainly lines up with many traits fans have inferred from Vincent's portrayal, such as perfectionism, overdependence, and an anxious disposition.

I also felt that his perception of their mother wasn't as idolised as Bo's, and would go as far as to say that during his and Bo's kitchen convo I felt a hint of...exhasperation? Even weariness. At Trudy, at Bo's idolised view of her that he seemingly can't reject out loud, maybe even the purpose of their murderplot. I always imagined his feelings towards her to be something like 'I love you but please stop I'm begging you, why are you like this, why can't you be better for us', and I feel like part of that frustration came from knowing that none of the hovering and fussing was ever really for him as much as it was for her to feel better about herself, so any conversation about his feelings on the matter would have been pointless. If not immediately dismissed it would have just caused an argument, and this family has enough of those already, right? No need to rock the boat.

I have also never seen that newspaper clipping about Victor?! Could I ask where you found it? It completely throws loads of backstory theories out the window. Your version makes the lead-up to the murderplot make so much sense too. Bo and Vincent didn't just wake up one day and choose violence for no reason, but rather the pressure slowly built up: their father passing, the mill shutting down and all the jobs disappearing, then the town's inhabitants leaving, and lastly their mother's death. I imagine they found themselves alone in their now dead hometown, feeling washed up, lacking the practical and social skills to set off on their own (Vincent in particular), grieving the most pivotal person in their lives, and fit to burst with rage at the world. With their minds already cracked from their upbringing, and nothing to lose, it's easy to imagine how one thing led to another...Maybe some lost jackass gets a little too cocky with Bo at his mechanic shop, a fight ensues, Bo doesn't quite pull his punches like he knows he should and accidentally kills him. And then all it takes is a 'Yes, I know this is bad, Vince, but listen. You know how you've been having trouble sculpting like mama used to...?'

Anyway yes all this is to say this was a fantastic read! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, hope you don't mind me going on a mad ramble on your post haha. (Also could I ask you to link that study of a similar conjoined case? I've been looking for a real life counterpart to the twins' condition and could not find one for the life of me!)

Trudy refills Vincent’s cereal. He’s 2-3 years old and blind in one eye. He doesn’t need more cereal, he just needs his bowl rotated so he can see the cereal that was left over on his blind side. Not that we necessarily know how Vincent communicates without speech, but she hardly gives him time to answer her question about more before she’s refilling the bowl anyways. This is her approach to parenting her boys in general.

There’s no interest in fixing their actual issues. Rather than help Vincent to see what he already has in front of him, she’d rather add more, inadvertently also adding more onto the side he can’t see. At some point, this would just add to the issue. Overcompensation into overwhelm. Bo is brought in for breakfast kicking and screaming and it’s sort of evident why Trudy puts all her love into Vincent to the point of it being suffocating and unhelpful. Sure it could be a simple case of favoritism, but with the aspect of overcompensation specifically, it seems that she wants to balance her guilt over failing to parent one of her sons by pouring more effort than necessary into Vincent. Rather than giving the extra attention to Bo, it’s refilling a non-empty bowl of cereal.

I don’t think that necessarily mean she loves Vincent more. She finds him easier to parent. Fill the bowl whether or not he needs it because that’s easier than unpacking where Bo’s massive emotional outbursts are coming from. It seems more like love-bombing than genuine kindness. He’s “being such a good boy today,” but the implied part is an unsaid comparison to Bo. As twins, and conjoined twins at that, they’re not independent of each other. Vincent’s behavior exists only to contrast Bo’s, from her perspective. “Fix” his needs, and she can fix them both. Hence, preferring just to duct tape Bo to a chair than help him any.

Then Vincent grows up to become her protege, starting in his childhood but lasting until even after Trudy’s death. Over thirty years have passed since they were toddlers in those high chairs, but Bo gives a hint about why Vince got that ‘special privilege’ to not be as physically abused. “She always said that your talent would make up for what God took away from you.” Only, God didn’t take anything. Victor Sinclair doing illegal, unqualified surgery on his babies is why Vincent lost half of his face. Trudy only uses God’s name and religion as a shield for her own guilt about how her boys turned out. But it’s more likely she included Vincent in the wax business because she again, was dumping affection onto him over and over as her strategy.

Otherwise there isn’t as much favoritism between the boys. In their childhood photos, they both play piano, both play pool and baseball, both get to sit at the table with their birthday cake (without highchairs or bindings) and they play on the floor together. It's not entirely divisive between them, though it’s still obvious from which brother she’s slapping across his face and which brother she’s love-bombing which she’d prefer to deal with. Just not which she actually cares for more. Vincent wasn’t somehow spared from abuse in a house like the Sinclair household.

Interestingly, when Bo tells the story of Trudy and Victor, he mentions that once the Doc died, they were alone. Except, there’s at least one version of a prop newspaper stating that Trudy created a wax memorial for Victor. So this is just a false version of events most likely. Sure it could be that a decision changed, but there’s also the fact that, in the guns and ammo store, there’s a sign that says “Trudy’s Town or Wax.” And Bo tells Vincent, “We almost finished what mama started.” She’s also much older than the Trudy we see in the family photos and articles (even with the amount of cigarettes that woman smoked.) Ambrose is confirmed to have been abandoned for a decade, but to be turned into wax, Trudy would’ve had to die sometime between the abandonment of Ambrose and the present. Else she would’ve been properly buried most likely. The plan to fill Ambrose was hers, it’s just Bo that suggests using real humans (according to his apology to Vincent, he takes credit for the idea anyhow.)

Which makes her boys at least in their mid twenties when she died. In an older version of the script, Bo had killed her and Victor, but knowing it would put them all in foster care, that doesn’t quite make sense unless they were older. So the order of events is, Doc dying, the sugar mill closing, Trudy planning to reimagine Ambrose, and then dying herself.

The reason that’s important is because it’s emblematic of just how much pressure she was putting on both of her boys. And that’s not love. With two mentally ill, abused sons, (maybe three, since Lord only knows how they treated Lester once he came along,) that’s just manipulation. Victor and Trudy aren’t cartoon super villains for being bad to their boys. But when you can’t even just rotate a bowl slightly for your half blind little one, it’s shallow. Trudy has her cigarettes right in the boys faces in the opening and in most of the photos. Smoking was in one study linked to about 1/3rd of conjoined pregnancies, and in a similar case of conjoinment to the boys, one of the twins had lost an eye and had a prosthetic, but with minimal scarring because of the surgery being done in an actual legal hospital. It’s not about God taking anything, or about which is a little monsted and which is a very good boy- it’s about Trudy and Victor both messing up from the very beginning and causing the boys losses, then refusing to take accountability for it. Or, in the symbolic sense, to just do the right thing and turn a damn bowl of cheerios towards your blind kid.