#anyway! I hate it here đ
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You know come to think of it my main problem with hate (of celebrities or regular people) is not the hate itself, because we can have whatever feeling we want about whoever we want for whatever reason we want. My main problem is when the hate turns into bouts of insulting things that have nothing to do with it. No, your hate doesnât give you a pass to insult someoneâs bumpy nose or skin colour or curly hair. No, it doesnât give you a pass for disgusting and unfounded misogynistic comments. It doesnât give you a pass to comment on how ugly you find their bodies or how introverts are fucking weird and extroverts are obnoxiously loud and should just shut up. It doesnât give you a pass.
You know why? Because while that person might never see/hear all of those things, everyone around you will. All the strangers you have nothing against that see your post on their feed? Theyâll read how their curly hair is ugly. Theyâll read how their body isnât right. How their shy personality or rbf isnât right. And thatâs one of my main problems with celebrity hate. Because while you might think that the insults are justified because you donât like that celebrity, you just manage to be an ass to everyone around. Like itâs not that hard to criticize things that you actually have problems with and to not insult everyone else in the same sentence. Being respectful isnât just about the celebrity or person you hate, itâs about everyone that isnât involved in the conflict.
#anyways#just needed to ramble work was frustrating and what better way to let the steam out that post on heređ#like idk thereâs a celebrity I can think of that I hate for some reason and whenever I see a post or TikTok or wtv about it and they justâŠ#insult their looks or random personality trait? thatâs when you lose me. idc if I hate them too thereâs no need to insult their look#criticize without getting everyone involved#celebrities#hate culture
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Ayyyyyy guess who missed Maxâs birthday lmaoooo ^^; and after I missed the first one too godDAMNIT
Welp anyway I thought itâd be reeeeal funny if they both just forgot it was happening the same way lmaoooo
#Max is like âeh who cares I can just pretend itâs today instead and still get free food and stuff!â#meanwhile Sam is like horrified that A) he could forget something so important and B) that thereâs that many holes in his brain#welp hate to say it big guy but same here it happens đ brain holes be like that#anyway happy birthday ya little two birthday having weirdo!!#sam and max#sam and max freelance police#freelance husbands#my art
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I know itâs already getting unbearably hot but who wants to come try and nap with both me and my heating pad anyway
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#itâs like a knightâs trial#having the actual worst period cramps of my life rn#and iâm Suffering with this heating pad#i hate being hot but jesus christ ow i need this to try to make my organs CHILL#and the worst thing??#absolutely NO ONE is here to cuddle with me#offensive#THIS. THIS is one of those situations where i KNOW the nap would be better with someone elseđ€#even if itâs just because then i wouldnât be lonely lol#pls come nap with me and overheat and also listen to all my complaints - again OW - and love me anyway#my craziest fantasyđ„”đ„”#oh and also NO judging all my crying my period loves making me cry smh#im literally crying over nothing right nowđ like itâs just a Thingâąïž okay#im a CATCH#wait god the heating pad turned off for a sec#saw my life flash before my eyes when it started cooling downđ#crying even more nowđđđ« #itâs going swimmingly very good like i said im a CATCH#đđđ#sorry for all the tags idk what im even saying anymore smh#im gay and i like sleeping
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Working in social services is like, we know you just got beat up by an angry client and might have a concussion, but you were the only witness so make sure to get all your incident report paperwork completed before the end of the day!
#đ you ever get hit 5 times and shoved into a table because SOMEONE ELSE moved your clients laundry?#anyway I hate it here#can you believe I only make minimum wage?
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wow it's gonna be -32 in Oulu tomorrow, I hope Olli is happy
#it's -26 where i am rn#bobby went out to do his business and he had to be carried inside because he got so cold he couldn't climb up the porch stairs đ#sorry for complaining about the weather on main lol i usually do this on twitter but it's so lonely there#anyway. i hate winter and january#(mind you it's not always this cold here in winter)
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Still thinking about the conversation I had with my roommateâs bf like two weeks ago where he said he was scared of furries but also didnât even know enough about furries to know they were called furries I had to figure out wtf he was talking about. The urge to become a full blown furry now. Despite having all the makings of a furry I for some reason have never ended up enthusiastically becoming one despite my best efforts. Well. With spite as my motivator here we are. Where are the furry artists, Iâm commissioning both my tentative ideas for my fursonas. Iâm inviting all my friends who are furries over and weâre gonna work on making fursuits. I will also make this a hostile living situation for you AND I will get the added bonus of doing fun furry stuff
#during the same conversation he very heavily insinuated he thought I was a cringey weirdo in the most derogatory sense#by making fun of most of my hobbies and calling ppl who liked them cringey weirdos#but then going âoh! oh no! I donât mean you though youâre fine youâre like Normal đâ#so. you know.#anyways last night I walked in the door from work#and the entire apartment smelled like weed and there was a dog barking at me and he was watching tv SO loud#đđđ sensory overload immediately in main part of apartment so I hid in bedroom all night#Iâm also irritated cuz Iâve had convos with my roommate about weed FOREVER ago#literally my one ask was if he was gonna smoke he do it outside so the apartment doesnât smell like it#idc if you smoke and you are free to do edibles/dabs/whatever inside just pls donât smoke joints#I hate the smell and itâs bad for the animals#so why is it đđđ all of a sudden happening again as this guy moves in đđđ#anyways about to become a revenge furry and also suuuuuper fucking cringey just to bother/embarrass him#esp cuz he said he wants to have friends over all the time which Iâm also FUDJDJSJSKSK about#but sure! invite friends over!#Iâm gonna sit in the living room with my giant easel and draw furries and listen loudly to vocaloid while theyâre here đ„°#Iâm gonna have a great time! you wonât tho lmao#kaz rambles
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The amount of critical corporate processes that are entirely reliant on Excel For Some Reason is truly depressing I'll tell you what
#''''critical'''' as though my job actually matters to anything#anyway our entire deparment inventory is run off an Excel spreadsheet/VBA script. 700 reports. Excel.#I hate it here đ#there is literally not a worse way we could be doing this#like at some point#making us hobble along with these cludgy solutions is MORE EXPENSIVE than just hiring another IT person for $90k to do it properly#anyway this post brought to you by it's my turn to wake up at 5am to babysit a VBA script because THAT'S a valuable use of my time
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Ok I lied, I also desperately want more about VLTD because I'm FERAL for it... *please*?? I'll take any little snippets you're willing to offer <3 - @fieldsofview
@fieldsofview god okay so Violet is coming a bit slow. I got 6k into it and realized I was already bored with the story. It just wasn't doing it for me, so I put it back in the percolator to stew some more and NOW I think I have the right setting for it. Originally I wanted to send them to Alaska bc of Nash's little throwaway thought about being brother of the year by buying Jo a plane ticket, but that's just not working for me creatively. Tennessee is where it's at, you know?
SO INSTEAD, he's going to buy her the ticket not knowing the reason she's been down in the dumps lately is because she misses when it was just the two of them. She's going to have a bit of a breakdown bc she's feeling all that and now he's trying to send her away?? But she still doesn't want to say it's him and Teddy that are the problem bc he's literally never been this happy before and she won't be the one to ruin it. So instead she confesses she misses her friends, which she does but also there's drama between her and Bella because of her moving away so it's a bit of a nasty surprise when she finds out that instead of Alaska Nash has arranged for her friends to stay with them for a week.
So now she has to deal with even less one-on-one time with her brother and also all the drama she thought was safely sequestered in Buford Hills.
So I'm going to have to cut most of what I have written (*sob*) but the intro is good enough to keep so here you go!
Here there be spoilers for Blue, like don't forget about me!
Thereâs an art to picking a hotel cheap enough that living out of it for three weeks wonât bankrupt you, but nice enough you wonât need to worry about bugs. In Joâs opinion, it all comes down to the desk.
Hotel rooms follow a basic formula: bed (obviously), mini fridge (to store stress pudding), shitty single-brew coffee maker (always the same), a microwave (always different), an armchair in the corner (to sit in whilst eating pudding), and a desk. A good look at the desk and youâll know whether youâve made a mistake.
Too squat or wobblyâclearly not intended to be usedâyouâre in a cheap hotel meant for a single night stay and expected to be gone by breakfast. But a nice desk with a matching chair in a room that doesnât make you feel like a dirty street urchin means you have successfully walked the line between frugality and indulgence.
Careful not to topple the precarious stack of client notes, Jo scoots the hard four-legged chair closer to the desk thatâs too low to fit her thighs under despite being all of 5â4â in her derby skates. She sticks her plastic pudding spoon between her teeth and moves the stack away from the edge while creamy chocolate warms on her tongue. The sleeve of her favorite sweater, an ancient thing with a brown stain over her left breast that looks like a fatal stab wound (pudding incident of 2022), catches on the sharp corner but tears free without trouble thanks to the tattered state of the hems.
âWhenâre you gonna be home?â
She picks up her phone to see the familiar worry line between her brotherâs eyebrows. Nashâs hair is overgrown againâbeachy curls inching over his ears and peeping around the sides of his neck. He looks tired, but he always looks tired. More important is the aura of peace that heâs carried like a favorite blankie since they moved to their little mountain.
She swallows and slips the spoon from between her lips. âThursday.â She points her spoon at the mini fridge where three pudding cups remainâone for each remaining day. âThink you can get the place baby sister proofed by then?â
The stress lines framing his mouth flex. âYeah. âCourse.â
She sticks her spoon into her pudding and leaves it there as she prepares to dig for whatever he isnât saying, but, for once, he beats her to it.
He casts a surreptitious look over his shoulder then hunches forward and says, âTeddyâs got napkin swatches all over the front room.â
Ah, and theyâre talking about Teddy again. It was a fun novelty for the first two monthsâsheâs never seen her brother fall all over himself like he did for Teddyâbut itâs been three years and sheâs over it.
âI donât understand why swatches. Why not just give us one of each napkin? It donât make sense.â
âUh, yeah I guess itâs kind of weird. Why napkins?â
His expression turns dour. âHe wants me to pick one for the reception.â
âAlright, so pick.â
They were supposed to get married in February (fucked up, unnatural time for a wedding but nobody asked her), but then Teddy freaked out acting like a little backyard shindig wouldnât be good enough and now theyâre shelling out actual cash money to stand around in a swanky lodge for six hours and eat overpriced chicken.
Downright foolish, but again, nobody asked her.
âI tried but he said he could tell I was just trying to get out of it.â Steel gray eyes stare into hers. âJo, I donât care about napkins.â
âI donât think anybody cares about napkins.â
âThatâs what Iâ!â He lowers his voice. âThatâs what I said.â
âBut Teddy cares aboutâ,â
âThatâs the thing,â Nash interrupts, eyes wide, animated in his exasperation. âHe doesnât care either.â
âThen whyâ,â
âHe thinksâ,â He wrinkles his nose, then confesses, âHe thinks itâs one of those things where maybe I do care, I just havenât thought about it enough to know.â
âThatâs ridiculous.â
âI know.â
âTheyâre napkins.â
âI know.â
It takes another five minutes to talk Nash around into telling Teddy that heâs put in enough due thought to determine he very much doesnât care what people wipe their hands and face on at their wedding, but he turns down Joâs suggestion that they stick a paper towel roll on each table so he must care at least a little bit.
When they hang up the pit of missing home hasnât filled an inch. Even worse, her pudding is room temperature.
#ive definitely already shared the napkin convo but here it but this time with full context!#also#blue like don't forget about me spoilers#for those who haven't read it yet#which is everyone except like 5 people lol#actually i'm gonna scroll back up and add a warning now that im thinking about it#there :)#anyway! i don't think you know this? but blue and red actually started out as part of the same book? and there were aliens and superpowers?#and it was 110k long??#anyway red is all that remains of the OG draft and then blue i rewrote entirely as purely a romance novel. it's COMPLETELY different#so when i say i'm a littol gun shy about forcing myself to write when im not vibing with the story im thinking about that 110k draft hahalo#WHICH started as a fanfic and im returning to its fanfic roots so it's not all bad but it did suck to get to the end and realize i hated it#so anyway just being cautious with this one đ#violet like these delights#wildflowers of deliverance#ask games#sswrites
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i'm genuinely sick of tumblr like between the ads that are scams or using porn or both and often targeting lonely users, the pornbots themselves, the interface that's just getting worse in every way and the block/report button being so narrowly close to the follow button, the shoddy attempt to blend in with other social media apps when we praised tumblr for not being like that, getting 'reccomended for you' posts that's just a randomly generated blog with 1 post with a pregnancy kink photo or is nsfw fan art of something you're not involved in at all or is just someone you've blocked, the search system they still haven't fixed after years-
and tumblr is just begging for money all over the place but all they they seem to do is just go 'hey look some frogs'
#like they've done 3 (three) good things in the 8+ years i've been here:#- letting you upload photos on mobile (remember when that WASN'T a thing?)#- the messaging system (i do remember people hating it at the time because it still wasn't what they'd been pleading for outside of fanmail)#- and just recently adding the [see more] option officially to the text editor on mobile (which i feel like is a pretty basic thing??)#and i'm blocking like 30 bots a day and at this point i barely even use tumblr for its purpose because shit barely works#but I don't really have an alternative because the other apps that tumblr is trying to blend in to are trash đ#anyway I've wanted to make this rant for a while and here it is#me ranting
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okay, day two of living at my in-laws for two months
slept most of the day again
my brain is too tired to do maths but that's a lot of hours of sleep in the last two days
unfortunately I'm never fully asleep because of the cats but hopefully I'll get used to it
finally managed to set up my PC and eventually remembered what I needed to do to make Jellyfin work again. so now I can finally watch my stupid shows again
(seriously the worst part so far has been not being able to watch my little fictional idiots do stupid things. I already feel so out of place, I need them đ)
I miss my things.
I'm still very tired.
I want to go home.
#but home does not exist rn#I hate it#very very bad feeling#honestly.. I might just keep sleeping like 20 hours a day for as long as I can... that way the 2 months will be over quicker...#I really really hate this#also there's lots of things that I wanted to bring here with me that other people ended up putting in boxes so now I don't know where they#are#the worst one is... all my bras/bralettes are in the same ikea bag I think... but it's not with the other ones up here.... so HOPEFULLY tha#means it's in the garage (and not our storage unit)#but. as long as I don't have a bra...... I do not feel okay leaving the room. so I haven't gone further than the bathroom since I got here.#(my friend suggested ordering new ones so I did that & they'll arrive tomorrow. good. because damn I do not feel comfortable like this đ)#anyway I feel not great! :)#personal
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~
#first day of work after a month and I wanna cry#waking up at ass o'clock isn't funny when you're not on vacation#I forgot my headphones at home#also I was getting there early but the train is late#people are rude and don't respect personal space#also they talk too loud#I hate it here#unemployment is the best thing that could happen to my mental health right now#I'm not even kidding lol#working for a living is torture#(I'm not even at work yet)#(this is what happens when I'm forced to listen to my thoughts in the morning)#anyway I hope everyone has a great day#I'll just try to survive it đ
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Who woulda thunk?! The university with a colorful personal history of doing nothing?? They chose, once again, to do nothing!
#i swear to god i dont know why i thought itd be different as a staff member#they LOOOOOVE graduating young men who face zero consequences for their actions#that should be their fucking slogan#anyway i hate it here#personal#i figured even if THEY didnt want to sack the fuck up and give consequences that theyd at least let me do it#but no i was told to start biting my tongue đ
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#neither here nor there#well. today went pretty bad.#had to work with the coworker that i have an irrational fear-#well. less fear and more irrational *certainty*- hates me#like im certain she hates me. idk *why*. i have exactly zero evidence and shes always been nice to me#maybe a little impatient but that migh just be how she *is* idk#but my brain is CERTAIN she hates me. maybe cause she thinks im an idiot#<- i have no evidence she thinks this.#but i do think i disapointed her twice over while we were working together#managed to postpone the panic attack and i think its catching up to me now đ yippee#brain is trying to convince me everyone is disappointed in me and just maybe despises me đđđ#anyways if any yall hate me pls tell me to my face ok#anyways anyways gonna go listen to leathermĂžuth and see if that makes me feel better
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looking for a 2nd part time job because my current one, while really nice in a lot of aspects, swings wildly between giving me like 35 hr weeks and 10 hour weeks and that is so unsustainable bc I never know how much Iâll make on my next paycheck and thatâs kinda scary⊠if I could find another really flexible remote job I could just swap between them when one is slow! Ideally. But finding a job like that that Iâm qualified for is painfulâŠI forgor job hunting Sucks ForeverâŠâŠ
#I really like being able to set my own hours and basically have no direct boss rn! but also the lack of benefits/healthcareâŠ#if this job gave me a consistent 35-40 hrs and healthcare Iâd literally never leave it. but alasâŠit seems like thereâs always something bad#about a job no matter what. Iâve never had a job I was 100% happy doing forever#theoretically art would be that but rn thatâs not realistic :( maybe one day!! Iâm trying to work towards that#but that aso would not come with healthcare so. lol#I bought it myself this year and that kind of bites to have to do but I need to go to the dr pretty bad đ#Anyway Iâm not sure if itâs realistic but I really really want to get another job that pays well enough for me to move out this year#if I have to live here much longer Iâm going to end up in a mental hospital and letâs be real. thatâs too much money#or therapy I guess but I mean I will have a mental break I fear ashdjsjs I do love my family but!!#I wannaâŠhave mg own place and have more control of my life this yearâŠ.ough..#I hate how many jobs I CANT do tho itâs so frustrating job hunting when u have a medical checklist đ aaaaaaaa#sanchoyorambles
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trying not to get annoyed and sound ungrateful but damn. why canât this new feature just wait till the NEXT update to be added đđđ
#clearly it needs more time#the delay bc of apple appstore was bad enough#but this seems worse bc itâs in rcâs control đ„Č#and i donât wanna be a pessimistic bitch but i guarantee the super secret new feature is not even anything major/we wanted đđ#itâs probably about the interface/app appearance#or more social stuff within the app - which why would we really need that fandom spaces already exist - here & reddit etc#i donât even have rc friends just a handful of acquaintances i like/people i donât hate đ
đ
đ#anyways im sorry im just mentally ill & this past month has been an extra shitty time for me so i just want to focus on my game/lis đ„șđ©âčïžđ
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googling candidates while i fill out my ballot is just,
[dem candidate]: incredibly mid take, same shit every politician says
[rep candidate]: most unhinged bigoted bullshit you have ever heard
#god i fucking hate it here#joys of living in a historically red state that is incredibly swing this year#đ#anyways go vote#elwyn.posting
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