#anyway!! im actually super proud of how this came out

[glitchyvoice]

I FINALLY FINISHED IT

im so late to this but we IGNORE THAT

edit: I GOT TOO EXCITED AND FORGOT TO ADD THE REFS FUCK

[kyurochurro]

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!! here's a cozy lil drawing of Rosalina and he Lumas for the Christmas season :D 🎄💫

[justarandomart]

Weeps, weeps for a thousand years

[selfundiagnosed]

update uhh they scrubbed the super awesome pro lgbt wink wink nudge nudge social media accounts for Kum & Go because all Kum & Go’s are being replaced by Mavericks. theyre Utah based and very concerned about the sexual connotations of the name “Kum & Go” so by next year be prepared to say goodbye to beautiful Kum & Go. the purity panic is murdering an actual absolute legend. All of my hard work i spent growing the Kum & Go tiktok account from 0 to almost 200k like no trace of it. i have no car and have had to quit my irl job because of it & was considering doing remote work through social media marketing again and i would only be able to cite my experience with Kum & Go but they silently wiped all my videos off the account. im so like. even if not to work a job it would be cool to have all that work still up. Like fuck idk dude. that was kind of my hope for 2024. i cant rlly work without a car so i was like if i get mentally better i can go back to doing that and it would be a lot easier than having go figure out something else. which like we cant all have our ideal worlds but the bus doesnt come anywhere near where i live so it just sucks. i know how this website feels about corporate accounts but fuck. Kum & Go was. It was fucking awesome lmfao i was genuinely proud to be a corporate account if the corporation was Kum & Go. they were so focused on being in on the joke of their name and did so much help to the community in recent years like hiring associates who just came out of prison. people with records. People with weird hair colors and visible tattoos and piercings. associates had amazing benefits. & like our social media department worked with a gay man who streamed on twitch to sell a shirt that said Kum & Gay rights like in the purity panic i thoroughly do believe like it was impactful and meaningful. did lots of fundraising for LGBT organizations like locally Iowa Safe Schools and their annual GSA event for lgbt iowa teenagers in GSAs. now the company is being killed! and ik its a corporation a company & intrinsically flawed because of that, i had my own personal gripes with this aspect. But like fuck. I remembering being on tumblr sneakily as a 12 year old and seeing the tumblr heritage posts of ppl discovering kum & go… like i knew i wanted to do a Denny’s tumblr-esque thing around this tjme too so when i had to opportunity to work on their tiktok account and build it up from scratch it felt like the universe handed me the opportunity on a silver platter. im just like fuck this fucking sucks. heres the article idk if i can get a link without a paywall though :/ anyway. RIP to a legend. go find the nearest one and buy the epic kum merch while you still can this year guys :/

[thealias0]

I might have came up with alternate resolutions for both The Giggle and Empire of Death in the shower

I think that those resolutions are both really underwhelming and deserved more. So, let's start what i came up with The Giggle.

Originally, The Toymaker was defeated by him just messing up. No clever play from anyone. 14 and 15 haven't displayed one of their biggest traits, which is their Time Lord super intelligence. They only displayed their ability to play catch, which is just such a waste imo. My proposal: Game of catch goes just like it did in the episode, but eventually 14 and 15 look at each other in understanding. They have cooked a plan. 14 catches the ball and throws it to 15, but he misses and ball falls off the edge of the rooftop. Both act shocked and 15 immediately sprints into the building. Toymaker looks at what just transpired and laughs and screams. "Go ahead, run if you wanna play hide and seek next. You will not escape me anyways." Turns to 14. "Are you proud? Your next incarnation revealed himself to be a coward! I expect many things from you, Doctor, but that sure surprised me. Now, you lost the game, so now's time for me to collect my reward." 14 smirks. "I wouldn't be so sure, as I believe... it is still falling" The moment he said that, the ball hurling from the entrance to the building hits The Toymaker and falls to the ground. In the way stands none other than 15 visibly exhausted from running and expression of relief on his face. Toymaker visibly angry, scared and confused asks: "Wh- What?! How did you... No... don't tell me-" "That's right, Toymaker" 15 expeled. "There are no rules forbidding the usage of time machines" 14 finished the thought. Then the flashback plays out showing the whole thing from 15's perspective. He runs as fast as he can straight to the TARDIS passing himself on the way, travels to the time and place where the ball is supposed to land, catches it, travels back and runs back to the rooftop passing himself on the way back. The rest transpires as it did in the original. I'm not claiming it's the best, great or even good alternate ending, but i think it would be more satisfying than what we got.

The resolution for Empire of Death is one of the most disappointing events I've ever seen in Doctor Who. It made Sutekth into a complete joke. Are you really telling me that the supposed most powerful being in existence. A god so powerful and terrifying that even The Toymaker ran in terror, wasn't able to handle a fucking rope? I don't care if it's a "smart rope" whatever that means. Toymaker was able to turn bullets into confetti, people into bunch of bouncy balls and implied he could turn galaxies into figet spinners or whatever. Sutekth is supposed to be more powerful than that and he couldn't do anything about it? Sutekth deserves much better than this. So this is what i came up with. It isn't nearly as detailed as the toymaker stuff, but i hope you'll enjoy the concept. So, i decided to actually use the spoon to save the universe in hopefully interesting way. I didn't think of any good scenario yet, but here's my idea for the concept itself. What if Doctor defeated Sutekh by using his power against him using the spoon. By that i mean that The Doctor could psychologically manipulate Sutekh into believing that the spoon through some classic Doctor Who technobabble, power of love and fairy tale salt spilling mumbo jumbo became an actual weapon capable of defeating him. Sutekh being a god and having power over reality itself could subconsciously make that story a reality and unknowingly empowering the spoon with his own power, which then Doctor could use to defeat him.

So that's what i came up. I am not a writer, so i apologize if that's an unbearable slop of a read. I'm not claiming that the dialogue i wrote is any good, as im just not experienced in writing. All i did here was not very thought through and only served the purpose of conveying my core ideas about the alternate resolutions for those stories. Hope you enjoyed and have a nice day

[oflgtfol]

anyway if you were to see this bracelet in a real life tchotchke store. would you buy it. and would you buy it for $8

ok so i figured out the bracelet by cutting it and melting the ends :3 i dont know how sustainable that is because i dont feel safe using a flame that close to my fingers and the only lighters in the house are owned by my parents anyway so my dad was the one to melt it and i just dont feel like thats sustainable long term to keep having him do it. i found another type of sliding knot that doesnt require melting or anything so i might try that out next time. shame cuz i do like how the square knot just like, looks aesthetically in general but whatevs

[whoslaurapalmer]

hi. I can't sleep so here's a cute lil super vague picture of my mom, and me, from when I was born 💖

this was taken september 28th, the year i was born, when I was finally able to come home from the hospital, because I was born a whole two months premature. I'm so tiny!! and my mom's smile is so big!!!!!

when I look at pictures of her I can really see. how badly she'd been doing the past few months. I knew she wasn't doing well, but when you see somebody every day, sometimes you still don't always see-see it, you know? anyway this is how I want to remember her. not sick. but cute and precious and with her big smile, and with me. (even if this week I still told her she looked cute. cause she's my mom, of course she's always cute.)

she did pass away today. everybody who's been to the house has been so, so kind to me. the hospice nurse, even, was so surprised that everything happened so quickly. she thought there would be just a little more time. she gave me like three hugs, and when I told her, "I know this is part of your job, but you give great hugs." she dropped her bags and went "OH, you haven't SEEN the kind of hugs I can give." and hugged me AGAIN and said "you think I give out hugs to just anyone?? come on." which, damn. that was a squeeze. and the funeral arrangement guy who was here yesterday came back today, of course, and even he was in tears about my mom. best friend came over and we talked for hours, about my mom, about the usual everything we talk about. I got into contact with one of my high school friends just the other day, and we talked about how much my mom meant to him when we were teenagers. and I'm really happy there are people who got to meet my mom and understand how special she was and got to feel loved by her.

there's lots of people who are gonna help me with the house, and with me, and where I go now. so im trying not to be, uh, too horrified about that. our neighbors, my aunt, we actually JUST ran into someone who used to help my brother when he worked, who's now on a committee for senior and special needs housing -- she's engaged to the guy fixing my grandmother's septic tank??? what are the odds????? so. I keep telling myself that's gonna be okay. I made my brother pasta for dinner, and we ate it with our aunt, and we watched mythbusters. things are gonna be weird and not always. easy. but I'm gonna be okay. because my mom told me she knew I could do anything, so. I can be okay. And I don't always have to be, either. But I can be okay.

ive kept it together like. really well today. bc there's lots of things I have to help my aunt take care of. and while I had already been thinking a lot about like. my mom not being here. and rearranging my brain around that idea. i know it's still gotta really sink in. that she's not here. im gonna wake up tomorrow and she wont be here, waiting for me. she's not gonna be able to hold my hand when I'm upset or hug me or call me food nicknames or hang out with me. but we were really, really happy, the day after she came home from the hospital, when we talked about how much fun we've had doing things together. always together. and how we wouldn't change anything, and how we'd do it all over again. so i felt like we'd said everything we needed to to each other. I know she was so proud of me, always. and that she thought my silly bill crafts were the coolest things ever. and that I could never make her upset. and she could never make me upset either. she was so silly and so loving and so fun, and wanted more than anything to be a mom, and to be loving and caring, and she was so good at it. and I'm so happy she was my mom.

[boycritter]

can you explain your most recent poem? i like it but i don’t really get it lol

ohhhh okay. holy shit you have no idea how happy this makes me. idk how in depth you want me to go. but i’m going in depth. i know there’s not like separate stanzas or anything in this poem but in my head there’s chunks it’s split into. overall this poem is about not really knowing who you are or what you’re doing (i’m 17 so all my poems are kind of about this at least a little bit). it’s about uncertainty and loneliness and trying to make something (a place, a life) for yourself when everything feels like so much.

so the first few lines ‘in this one im a cumulonimbus cloud. in this one im mango juice. theres a world where i supernova and one where i pitch drop’ are kinda setting the themes for the poem. like the objects im gonna use to convey the message as well a kinda overarching theme of unstable identity/endless possibilities. and then the supernova/pitch drop part is smth im really proud of i like that a lot :3 idk if you’re familiar with the pitch drop experiment but basically it’s a super super slow moving liquid and people are trying to see when a drop will fall. (a few drops have fallen but no one’s seen them it’s a whole thing you should look it up :3). so that line is saying there’s a timeline in which i burn myself out in a super destructive way and one where i take it slow. and then ‘pitch drop’ is also a reference to testosterone voice changes lol. so there’s a timeline where i live my true life and take it slow.

and then the next part is ‘i cried planck epoch and nothing came running and i cried planck epoch and all my protons were so lonely and i cried planck epoch and all my sheep died anyway. i cried mango juice and the universe hugged me tighter.’ which is using the double meaning of cry as yelling/tears. and it’s an allusion to the boy who cried wolf where i’m saying something is happening but no one’s even paying attention. disclaimer i am not an expert on the physics of the beginning of the universe. like at all. but basically the planck epoch was the first 10^-43 seconds of the universe when everything was super super hot and super super condensed. so i’m saying this is happening and no one’s listening, and even when everything is happening and i’m objectively not isolated but i still feel like i am. and then the crying mango juice part is using the other meaning of cry, and the universe hugging tighter is also planck epoch stuff.

the next chunk is ‘i rained fractals and the dirt sang ion. my electrons touch anything they can get their hands on.’ i like this part :3 the raining fractals is just a mess of uncertainties, bc that’s what fractals are yknow!! the singing ion part is also fun, bc obviously ions are particles and sound is a wave, so it’s a little paradoxical :3 and also i didn’t want a later line to feel so out of place. the second sentence kinda calls back to the ‘i cried planck epoch and all my protons were so lonely’. bc while our nuclei are so so tiny in terms of the entire atom and will likely never touch another nuclei, our electrons are constantly interacting with other atoms electrons. so it’s meant to be saying like. i’m lonely and i’m trying to fix that. somehow. in some way.

the last chunk is the biggest one and also the one inspired by smth @/green-cargaytions wrote and sent me which isn’t posted anywhere but i still need to hype up their writing skills bc it’s insane it’s actually bonkers. anyways. ‘once i tried to derive a function for the meaning of it all and my paper fissioned love and jazz quartet. some infinities are bigger than other infinities and i used to think that was blaspheme but now i think id like to make it idolatry. and i think id like to be one of the smaller infinities. i think i’d like to be closer to it all.’ so the first part is about the intersection between math and science and music bc i’m insane about stuff like that. but also, i tried to find a formula to fix my uncertainty. and it didn’t work. and my paper broke apart. which basically says that you don’t know what you’re gonna do. and you don’t have to know. you can’t know. but in the meantime, you have to love what’s around you and you have to appreciate art. the fact that some infinities are bigger than other infinities is also something i’m obsessed with. and i personally never found it blasphemous lol but when georg cantor introduced that notion people definitely thought it was. because the only infinity is g-d. and idolatry is also blasphemous. but i like the juxtaposition of synonyms. idk how to put this part into words exactly </3 and then the last part is kind of saying. there’s so much uncertainty and instability in the world. and isolating yourself isn’t the answer. you gotta just live life and try not to worry too much. which easier said than done obviously lol but. still. it’s about coming into your body and out of your head. at least a little bit.

anyways this is probably one of my favorite things i’ve ever written and now i get to talk about my thoughts on it. i love this i love writing essays on my own work thank you so much ^-^

[cheeryoss]

i just spent like an jour or two on call with someone i didnt rlly wanna call the only person i feel comfortable calling is my cousin and one of my friends everyone else i feel forced to bring energy. the girl i called with his pretty funny but like she never responds to anything i say and i get cut off alot. and its just like. i dont know shes so self centered i can’t believe i had a crush on her. i really hate when im cut off.

also i called my mom to tell her about hosa and okay. i love her but she acts like she knows everything about me no you fucking don’t im not some shy girl who can’t talk to people at all anymore. i can when i need to you dont know me.

anyway i HATE school . i think i may end up a no one and homeless or just. i dont know my thoughts are getting really negative as of late and this just i dont think this is me,???? usually im so positive and i know the steps to better myself but this time i just have no energy and I actually don’t see a very bright future for myself but also i know logically that’s probably not true. my grades are good and i have a decent stack of academic achievements so ill probably get inro some good college or university and then get an alright career. but then what? i marry a man, have kids, and end up doing nothing.

i dont wanr to live like that. i need to die proud of myself. i think thats another reason I haven’t killed myself.

sorry this vent is so lame i think i just went on to go on about something. infact, i dont even really like centing in online spaces because of how harmful it is. ill get stuck in some negative feedback loop because of the content i post and my blog being full of this. its just not wise. but i dont know where else to go with tgese thoughts? when i bottle them up i just cry. I haven’t gone one day without crying in a long while. im not telling my mother i need a therapist, and quite frankly they dont even look that useful. so its just me who has to fix this. but im really worried I can’t. that’s my biggest fear. ill just end up a failure to past me, present me, and future me. my family and friends too, everyone whose ever complimented me.

I started this off with wanting to throw a decoration piece in my living room but now tears just came out.

i dont think ill ever be loved. not in some main character “AGGHG IM SO UNLOVABLE” but just like. i think im boring. Aand im not super pretty. In the romantic sense, that is. But i guess the platonic way also, but im not gonna sit here and act like thats not the case. I know i have my mother, and my friend/cousin, my other friend but truthfully i dont know who else.

i act like love is this big thing and i only love a select amounr of people, but i think i love anyone i get close to. i actually think i can love alot of things. i dont wanna be selective anymore. i wanna love alot. i wannna live a life where i can confidently say i love tons of things. i wanna love. love is the main thing keeping me

I wanna get better for everyone i love. I dont want to fail and they have to see it. I want them to know things can and will get better if you try.

im crying now but im so sorry to everyone ive ever hurt i love you i really do

[the1weepinqguitar]

tally hall sketches and other assorted doodles

Here ya go guys! I also have improvement pics from last year! Almost two years in the Tally Hall fandom! Woohoo! My Marvin's CD is gonna hate me even more after all of this

A Ross sketch! I'm super proud of how it turned out! Below is a close-up!

The aforementioned close-up, showing the shading on his face and the folds of his sleeve!

Zubin! I love the side profile, and I used his picture in the MMMM booklet as a reference! Close up below, so you can see some of the more fine details/shading

the close-up!

Here's Andrew! His hair is kinda hard to not fluff-ify, but I dealt with it anyways and tried my best to keep it close to reality. Obligatory close(r)-up below.

next will be some other random stuff, mostly tally hall, but some of it is oc art

drew this drawing of Ross last September. Not amazing but very stylized, which I love/hate. the tag on the bottom left reads, "he's rather disheveled but this is the best I could do back then"

wtf is he doing? He in an action movie or something? btw this was last-year's andrew. very stylized. i hate it.

decided not to include the other last-year Rob cause i hate it deeply. this one's much better. very fluffy. i dont like the collar tho

just me poking fun at my horrendous attempts at stylizing joe. im not gonna draw him as much as the others btw.

This is from an au created by @bonkdd, but i did rob and andrew's designs bc i never saw his designs for them. i also added a lot of lore and plot stuff because i really liked the concept. in simple terms the tallies are robots that were abandoned by Marvin after he passed away so now they're falling apart n stuff without him to care for them (that's why rob hides his face). Anyways, huge thanks to Bonk for the original idea! They're a great artist, you should go check them out!

Edith, drawn/sketched with a ballpoint pen.

Another one. I like this one better, but I spent two days on this one versus a half on hour on the other so i guess it makes sense

Adrian and Reuben (OCs), done in a college-ruled notebook bc i ran out of pages in my sketchbook. next is a close-up so you can see more shading.

probably my favorite gay couple i've ever written ngl

Ace again, but wearing Reuben's favorite sweater.

Looking mighty fine!

He's lookin' tough, he's got the stuff, he's got the spiffy shades... (/lyric)

pose practice

Boll weevil, why don't you get out of your home? (/lyric)

old art jumpscare - i actually kinda like this one, might redraw it. Below is the full thing

why is zubes staring like that??? its creepy

here's another. i don't know why it's sideways. andrew is scared of joe btw, this isn't the entire drawing

Did an embossing peice. It's the Mojo Chessmaster! I tried by best to make it as detailed as possible, and I think I did pretty alright. The neck was probably the worst part to do. Below are close-ups

the head of the guitar was a pain in the ass.

This part was also pretty tricky but it came out okay. the dials at the bottom are raised as much as I could get them to go, so I'm not worried about them. My issue here was the pickups.

I also added Flansburgh's little signature guy but i drew his hair because why not? Anyways this piece took me a good hour or so to finish, I think it'll fetch a good grade (it was for my metal design class).

I'll add a sketch I just did as a bonus:

it's from a tally hall fanfic/au i made back in may after my grandpa passed away. It was a great stress-reliever and I still really like how it turned out. It's about cryptids and monsters and shit. I'll post a summary on a different post because this one was mostly for the drawings. I might post a few installments of it on my ao3. It could be a weekly thing since i usually have time on fridays to write.

Once again, a close-up is available below.

I put literal hours of research on cryptids and of the area (ann harbor, MI) while writing this fic. It was fun though, and it helped me a lot. Feel free to ask me anything about the plot or world-building !

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

This is an internet anthology. I am acting:

…

…

…

Looking back at my childhood and all the traumatic things that happened made me realize just how depressive my mom was. She smiled and laughed and said she was “happy,” sure… but I never saw her smile or laugh unless it was in front of other people; but behind closed doors, with just the two of us the mask came off. I was the only one who was allowed to see who she really was behind the disguise. She cried all the time. I could hear her through the walls at night when I went to sleep. Everything, everything was for show. She liked to make others think she had joy but she didn’t. She didn’t because she couldn’t feel it. Her depression was a crushing weight on the entire house and she made it everyone’s problem. All she wanted to do was feel worse and feed off of me so I could stay and listen to her rants forever in a vicious, codependent cycle. I didn’t know until now what the term for that was. Truly, discovering this community of people who were abused by depressive parents was a blessing. It helped me come to my senses and realize I was not the issue; it was her all along. Knowledge is power, everyone. ❤️

…

hiya could anyone give me advice pls its urgent

so i (16m) met this guy (17m) who ill call M in my economics class. we chatted for a little, he was suuuuper sweet and charming and we really had some kinda gay chemistry going on iykwim? so we went on a date at this cute Italian restaurant and the guy gives us our breadsticks. M just……. stared????? at them like stared at the breadsticks without even saying thank you and he looked kinda souless and it was fucking freaky but i ignored it because maybe he was just tired yk? we study alot so its not like super unrealistic to think that but now im starting to think it was a sign he wasnt right in the head. later on we hugged and kissed and he told me he loved me so my doubts went away cuz love and happiness go together. basically i wasnt worried anymore, were both happy right?

well after exchanging numbers to keep in touch i called him about five times and he never called me. its like i put in all the effort so i called him out for ignoring me and he apologized

anyways we made up and went on a 2nd date which was his idea. because i am sixteen i got my license after doing drivers ed, obvs i was really proud of it so i told him and he smiled saying he was happy for me but something was wrong. he was smiling but his eyes looked dead and it reminded me of that one tiktok about how depressives have dead eyes when they smile because they cant actually feel happy not even for other ppl. it was really creepy how he just lied to my face like that. he still never calls me, i always have to call him. its like he doesn’t care about life at all

any tips on how to politely get out of the relationship? thx

…

4 Signs Your Lover is a K!lljoy

1.) The eyes

Do you surprise your lover with gifts and acts of service, but they seem less than enthusiastic? Do they say they’re happy for you, but something in their face tells you they’re not? Do they never seem to truly enjoy anything in life? Then blame the uncanny valley. Science shows that true, joyful smiles cause the corners of your eyes to crinkle. Since k!lljoys are completely incapable of feeling happiness, it makes sense that they don’t know how to smile without giving off some bad vibes in the process.

2.) They’re lazy

Some of the traits used to diagnose Major Depressive Disorder in the DSM-5 are: lack of motivation, excessive sleeping, and lethargy. These traits inherent to depression make k!lljoys far less productive than most normal people, so of course they expect others to do everything for them, because they care more about themselves than they do other people. Do you constantly find yourself doing all the household chores while your spouse vegetates on the couch? Do they say they’re too “tired” to do things when you know they’ve done nothing to make them tired? Chances are, your partner is depressive.

3.) They hate people

Lack of joy is highly correlated with social withdrawal. K!lljoys dislike parties and always hide in corners or bathrooms if they’re forced to go to one. They also never call you, you have to call them. You have to do all the work to maintain the relationship.

Low-functioning killjoys may lie in bed all day miserably, but high-functioning killjoys can blend in, and may even be more talkative so they can vent their problems to everyone. They do this so everyone else can feel as unhappy as they do. As the saying goes, misery loves company.

4.) They want to k!ll themselves

It’s in the name. K!lljoys may not say it outright, but they may joke about d34th or unaliving themselves at minor inconveniences. This is not normal behavior, and actually a sign of a severe case of depression.

This may be done for two reasons. The first is to guilt you to stay in the relationship because they’re afraid of being abandoned by their stress ball. You can tell if mentions of sewerslide are meant to guilt you if they are often followed by common manipulative phrases such as “you’re my reason for living” or “I’ll never leave you.” Or k1lljoys may be genuine about their desire to d*e, so that they can pass their sadness onto others while they are relieved of it, as a sort of twisted revenge.

You may feel guilty about leaving them or putting them in danger of carrying through with sewerslide, but remember: sewerslide is the ultimate act of selfishness. You are doing the right thing by leaving them because they are toxic and will only harm you, no matter how good it feels to love them. They don’t love you back. A k1lljoy cannot love you back.

…

hot take but if you’re so sad you cant even take care of yourself without leeching off people and hurting them then you should be sterilized so you don’t pass those genes onto your children and cause more suffering than you already have lol

#killjoy parents #depressive abuse #thanks for making me into a monster like you dad /s #depressives dni #i needed you dad I really really did and then you fucking shot yourself #and it didn’t even work so now you’re brain dead in a home #i hope no one else cares for you and gets hurt for it

…

So it’s come to my attention that there is a common misconception that depressives cannot feel joy. True, some of them don’t; but some of them do. What gives them joy? What most people find makes them happy: being treated like human beings and not like a they have evil suicide cootieshope this helps 🥰

#actually depressive #actual killjoy #you guys realize how eugenicist it is to demand depressed people be sterilized right? #we cannot control how much joy we feel #what we get is what we get and that doesn’t make us evil

…

hot take: being able to feel happy does not make you a good person

you can feel joy because you hurt people and you can use motivation to do bad things. you don’t need love to be a good person either. you can simply exist and not do bad things

#actually depressive #depressive abuse believers dni #imagine morals being based on emotions and not actions pfft

…

#imagine morals being based on emotions and not actions pfft

Imagine abusers wanting sympathy from the abused

Don’t act like you aren’t always negative about everything and try to level the emotional playing field so that everyone suffers don’t act like you haven’t been a burden to everyone you touch don’t act like you don’t post pictures of your bleeding cuts for minors to see and imitate dont act like you don’t romanticize your sick disorder to take others down with you don’t act like you don’t purposefully ignore your friends and loved ones for the sake of your alone time don’t act like you don’t drink to drown the sadness and become violent to your families don’t act like you aren’t cut from the same cloth as people who become terrorists and blow themselves up to kill many others

THOSE ARE ACTIONS

#depressives fuck off #depressives kill yourselves challenge #oh wait

…

I want to die so the ones who never held me close to their hearts may carry my coffin on their shoulders and tuck me into the ground like a down bed

#killjoy #sad bitch #its sad girl hours #depressive #sad girl aesthetic #coquette #tw sui ment #girlsandboywhocry #spilledink

…

yo i think my mom is a killjoy

#explains a lot tbh #never gets out and is unhealthily attached to me #the whole dead eyes thing

…

anyone ever stop to think that maybe the depression that I am experiencing in my own brain is making me suffer more than you are for dealing with my reaction to suffering all the time lol

#actually depressive #k*lljoy is a slur btw idk why you armchair diagnose people with “lazy asshole” #instead of maybe considering it’s just hard for us to do things #and interact with the world without feeling joy. Since when do we consider someone’s inability to do something as a moral failing?

…

[post-office-by-the-bay]

dearest covey,

how is life by the sea treating you? i hope the salty air and wet sand are making you feel at home.

no, but in all seriousness, i love the new blog! this must have taken so long to make! the idea is so cute, too, the vibes are immaculate. I feel like i'm actually at the seaside.

i know i haven't sent a letter in for a while, and i'm sorry, it's just been a super hectic week. i went to visit my grandparents this weekend, and they don't have internet at their cottage, so i wasn't able to access tumblr, but i did manage to finish an essay that has been stressing me out this past week, and i'm really proud of it! in othwe news, i went thrifting on friday, and found the CUTEST white maxi skirt, plus some pretty pajama shorts with blue flowers. i also got some makeup from the mall, including some nice blush/highlighter, and some lip oil. my little brother (5th grade) came third place in a district-wide chess tournament, which makes me a little worried about him getting bullied, but i'm still proud of him lol. seriously, though, that kid is scary smart. he's definitely the favourite child. (joking, I hope). do you have siblings? i have two younger ones, my brother and my sister, and while they can be a pain in the butt and hog the nintendo switch, i'd still die for them any day.

i'm thinking about converting the radio station to a flower shop, if only because there's better inspiration pics on pinterest and i'm not extroverted enough to be a dj lol.

that's all i really have to say, but I hope you life has been good recently!

love from way up in canada, flora. 💐

to my best girl flora,

the salty air is amazing, but compares nothing to sitting in your flower shop with you by my side!!

(squealing- we're so cutesy, you and i!)

no worries about the time between letters. i'll always wait for all of you!! i actually spent my weekend by the beach but i had the worst goddamn cell service like fr not a single bar in sight- pissing me off lmao. congrats on finishing that essay tho!! i FINALLY found time to talk to my ap gov teacher and she was a massive help with my FRQ4 (essay answer, basically) bc ya girl was STRUGGLING. also, i loveeeee when i have a good thrift. i found the cutest tank top the other day but it's been too gloomy to wear as of late.

also, about your brother, TELL HIM CONGRATS FOR ME!! my school is kinda strange bc we're also having chess competitions rn but they are actually hyped up more than football games. everyone who competes is actually so cool and well loved, so just let him know that cool people play chess too!!

i've got an older sister who's pretty cool. but...tbh, i think in every single other universe, im the older sister (lemme explain-). she's got really bad anxiety so my parents have always kinda babied her and there have never really been any expectations put on her, so they were all kinda put on me. i've gotten really good at lying to take the blame for things that she did bc her anxiety and mental issues would just make my parents reaction worse so i just take the blame bc she's my sister. of course im gonna look out for her, ya know??? she also went through a weird phase of wishing i didn't exist to my face when i was like eight BUT she's gone to therapy and apologize for that so we good!! i truly do love her but i know im her protector, not the other way around!! which is chill, ya know!

ANYWAYS MOVING ON FROM THE KINDA TRUAMA DUMP- i think a floral shop would be so so cute!! and while i LOVE the dj theme, i think it's kinda hard but the floral shop will be so much easier and wayyy easier to find pics for too!!

all my love from da beach,

covey 𐙚⊹ ࣪ ˖

[wayvsphantom]

ok hihihi im home from kcon so i wanna write everything i felt n saw before i forget it lmaoooo

nmixx: honestly super cute!! i didnt know the TWO songs they did but they were fun little summertime bops! i was up and moving for their "the feels" twice cover tho and i thought i was sick of that song shout out to the girlies for performing it really well!

ive: ok i dont know if my section is just women hating or women defending but my whole row sat down for their TWO songs and everyone got on their phones (including me!) instead of watching. I was genuinely upset and angry that the stylists for ive put them (actual minors, actual schoolgirls) in slutty schoolgirl uniforms, furthering the sexualization of minors needlessly and im glad people around me were also not supportive of it. anyway i heard them perform kitch (got literally no love from my section) and love dive (slightly more love from my section) but pls can they get some help im tired of seeing them do an overly sexual love dive dance break in slutty outfits when they are actual minors

cravity: they had good energy! i didnt know their TWO songs but they had good vibes and worked really hard!

taeyong: ok i thought i wasnt gonna vibe w his set but he came onstage and i LOST MY FUCKING MIND!!! like he really just has a star energy on stage it cant be stopped like he was my first ever nct bias and hes everyones bias for a reason!!! also shalala was so fun live the bass shook my bones fr ! taeyong you were great !! he should be really proud of that performance (of his TWO songs)

shownu n hyungwon: ok i did not realize how much i loved them until they performed on stage they were both so fucking good ?? like i fully need a mx tour bc i wanna see them so bad now ?? they peformed those TWO songs w such a fun sexy grown man energy that i was deeply missing lmao 10/10 pls come back to LA

wayv <3: OK U KNOW IM SOFT ON THEM BUT OMG THEY WERE SO FUCKING CRAZY GOOD WEISHENV U WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS THEY CAME OUT TO SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAMS I COULDNT BREATHE I WASNT READY AND THEN IT WAS A NEW SONG (that i was not feeling i cant lie) BUT THEN I FOUND OUT IT WAS THE KCON THEME SONG OR WHATEVER so i was able to breathe again.... anyway fake out over they came back later in the night and they WE4RE INSANE!!! LOVE TALK!!! U WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!! EVERYONE KN EW EVERY GODDAMN WORD TO THAT FUCKING SONG!! I was getting teary wayv u r not a flop u are the most famous group in the world!!! xiaojun is unreal pretty btw also yangyang and hendery.... omg TEN!!! TEN IS SO TALENTED AND PRETTY!! also i fully understand the winwin hype now i would die to protect that man ok okokokokokokok INCREDIBLE!!! they also gave us eng ver of phantom she was cute too!! the dance break finale gave me chills omg but i was missing kun :/ wish they couldve at least mentioned him but whatever.... WAYV WORLD TOUR ASAP

taemin <3: honestly the greatest performer ive ever seen live like holy shit thats a once in a lifetime talent right in front of me like yes i am very biased that is my ult right there but like he truly cannot ever be replicated. he came out swinging w advice and the boom that was "NEVER GET THE KEYS TO MY LOCK" the crowd was readdyyyyyyy and after advice this man got a 5min standing ovation every single person there recognized his god given gift to serve and it was incredible to see LITERALLY FUCKING CRAZY AND THEN THIS MAN GETS ON THE GROUND AND WE'RE DOING FUCKING CRIMINAL??? THE SONG THAT MADE ME WHO I AM TODAY?? and he even did the slutty little cuff removing w mouth move and i lost my v oice screaming so hard i feel so lucky to have seen that my life cannot get better anywayyyyyy MOVE!!! WE MOVED!!! HE MOVED THEY MOVED I MOVED WE ALL MOVED!!! THE GIRL THE MYTH THE LEGEND THE MOVEEEEEEEEEEE!!! those hips.......... yeasssss......... !!!!! he was swinging that concave ass like his life depended on it! he was also soooo flustered from everyone going insane like ik he wasnt expecting it taemin you will be famouus for a thousand years babygirl and he said big shinee news coming soon so !!! soooo!!! world tour!!!!

ok i think i hit every group i will unpack the wayv m&g too but i just had to get this all out kcon will pay for their crimes of 2 song every artist like i'll never go to kcon again or recommend it to anyone but i had fun!

[chainreh]

rambling about the fell xenologue royals bc i can ↓ spoilers for the entire dlc

okay first off im gonna say its a missed opportunity to not give them alternative designs bc then even if someone didnt like the story they could be like well at least i got to see goth alfred or something. im not a character designer nor am i good at fashion but id say firene have a more muted colour pallette, with like navy blues and grey rather than the bright blue of their coat of arms. brodia less flashy. i love the armour of brodia its very cool but doesnt super suit their ideals in this au. ivy in purple and golds contrasted to hortensia in just like. white idk. make her look like a commoner. and solm also less flashy. maybe like mustard yellow colours. idfk. someone can probably do this better than me.

anyway i am firene biased but i really liked the idea of alfred being more of a figurehead whilst céline is actually the one in control. yes this isnt outright said but i think its kinda implied from how alfred seems kinda nervous and depressed and is like "i have no idea how to be a king" whilst céline is like "alfred if you dont approve this invasion im just going to do it myself". even at the end where theyre "redeemed" céline says "i am here to support you, alfred. lets head back so you can rest, hm?" which just seems like our céline right? when alfred was dying she studied and prepared herself to be the new heir in case he passed away and she had to inherit the throne, but after his recovery she instead dedicated herself to supporting him the best she can, as well as focusing herself on taking care of the more unsavoury parts of ruling. but i think from everything we've seen about céline in this world, she's still just taking charge. céline is proud and angry, alfred is unconfident and depressed. and céline loves alfred so much that she's basically controlling him. she's not the opposite of our céline, she's just gone to the extreme.

contrasting this with the relationship of alcryst and diamant. like Alfred and céline, diamant is not confident and alcryst is proud and thinks himself more suited to leading. i dont think its ever said why their personalities are like this (other than rafal like controlling them and stuff) but its my headcanon ever since the trailer came out that perhaps morion died much earlier in this universe, where alcryst was too young to remember. so diamant grew up with one of his biggest fears being true, and i dont imagine bereavement counselling would be too realised in fire emblem universe, so it kinda manifested into extreme anxiety maybe causing the people around him to give up on him becoming a strong king, instead resorting to grooming alcryst to be the way he is. and alcryst seems to be planning to kill diamant and take the throne himself (i think diamant even has fears about this if u fight him with alcryst). alcryst instead of having a inferiority complex has a superiority complex bc everyone in this universe is like "diamant is so useless as a king, you 'd be much more suited alcryst" really showing how your environment can shape you.

for ivy first off i have to say, her and zelkov being besties in the alternate universe is literally so fucking funny. more importantly i've seen some people saying "oh she's like how we all thought she'd be before the game came out!" which i dont really agree with? bc everyone thought she'd a camilla clone right? but i'd argue the most important part of camilla's character is that she loves her siblings and will protect them no matter what which alt ivy is Definitely not doing. this ivy also hates poor people and values her devotion to the fell dragon above all else. like ofc a big part of our ivy is her devotion to the divine dragon, but it's also very important to her character that she prioritises her subjects above all else (i think the givre port chapter highlights this, wanting to hurry to help people who are alive rather than clear the port of the corrupted), but alt ivy is too busy trying to revive sombron and slaughtering the solm army to care about who dies. and hortensia. oh my dear sweet baby girl i fucking CRIED at alt hortensia vs ivy oh my godddddddddssdd. it seems ivy inherited at lot of her mother's beliefs in this universe and hates hortensia and has also killed all of her other half siblings hahaha :'). anyway hortensias abuse from her sister seems to have really impacted her self worth. and i think "parents died much earlier" should also be taken for the elusians as well bc hortensia got a lot of her confidence learning from her mother right? one thing that sorta sucks is hortensia vs. goldmary being like "the three of us wanted to stand out" whilst shes standing there in her fucking silly little clown outfit and decked out pegasus, so once again, alt designs would have really elevated the dlc imo. anyway alt hortensia i am giving u a big hug my baby i love you🫂

and onto solm. okay im sorry but timerra was so lame. they could have really done something cool with her being serious, stoic, and essentially robotic in her rule but its literally just "merrin what are you talking about you hate animals! and im a vegetarian and i hate singing! and panette you hate ghosts!" and like that is the extent of it. they didnt even bother to explain what solm was like in this universe and feels like they just added her into the elusia chapter to be like "look three way battle! just like three houses!!! you guys loved three houses right???" im sorry timerra they did u so dirty :/. fogado on the other hand. ough its so good. so fogado is dead (theyre all dead technically but fogado is dead dead and aware it) and instead of travelling the country to aid timerra he's instead working directly for rafal as assassin, and is implied to hate timerra (he says something like "i always wished i would be the one to kill my sister but i guess i'll to settle for killing her lookalike" in his vs. timerra dialogue). and i dont this this dislike is mutual (alt timerra says she wants to hug fogado in her vs. him dialogue iirc). this fogado seems to be more... bloodthirsty ig and less into the like. sneaky fighting he does in our universe. he mentions in his conversation with bunet that bunet is a brute on the battlefield (alt!bunet neurotypical confirmation where?) and fogado seems really fixated on how bunet looked covered in his own blood. we know that our fogado is actually very scared about the war underneath his friendly persona from his supports with pandreo, but alt fogado seems much more emotionless about it. in fact this might tie into solm in this universe thinking about it, instead of being free they all repress their emotions or something, bc even though alt fogado still talks in a sorta lighthearted candace, if a little more intense sounding and sounds Especially off whilst reminiscing on bunet and pandreo's deaths. his final death quote being "im not scares. ive died twice now... whats one more time?" sure okay buddy i believe you.

thats about it for my thoughts. tbh i wish we got more screentime with these guys. nel and rafal and the winds are great dont get me wrong but i wish they had focused a bit more on the royals and how they are different to how they are in our universe (even tho there are a lot of unique boss convos with them most of the ones I've seen were not super interesting or insightful :/and you definitely cant get all of them in a single playthrough im pretty sure). sorry for the long post ty if u read this far🫶

[star-sim]

hi!! I just read 'you've gotta be kitten me' and your recent enha fic (or headcanons) and you're seriously really good. I loved the Jungwon one so much and I really enjoyed how it wasn't super fast paced and you took your time developing their relationship. And I also really loved Jay in your 'his oh moment' fic, you made it seem like I was really there with him and he actually fell in love with me 😭😭 you're the definition of a prodigy, you do better than most writers whi publish full length books. Anyways that's it. Oh and also this is kinda random but do you listen to Wave To Earth? I really love their music and for some reason you seem like the type of person who listens to them. If you don't you should totally check them out when you're free they're really good. You can also write a 'enha as Wave To Earth songs' fic if you want! That's just a suggestion tho. (Sorry it got too long)

-🐱

HAI 🐱 ANON

EEK YAY!! tbh "youve got to be kitten me" i felt like i was reverting back to my 2020/2021 anime fanfiction days, so many of the events in there are so reminiscent of 2020 anime fandom times.... i actually had a lot of fun with that one, im quite proud of the pacing tho!

truthfully i had some trouble with "his oh moment," jst because my writing style banks on intimacy, which needs a lot of time to build up AND mutual feelings, it was such a short scenario so i had nothing to build up from and i didn't peer into the mind of the reader so i was worried that the intimacy wouldn't be apparent enough... im actually so glad that what i was getting at ACTUALLY came across

i know a few wave to earth songs, definitely only their popular ones like seasons and love... i was actually thinking of writing a fic abt seasons shhhh don't tell anyone *winks* any song recs?

i actually rlly enjoy technical academic writing so i might do one of those enha as ___ either book or song w literary/lyrical analysis.... but i'll keep that idea on the back burner for now

love u 🐱 anon!!!

[ocean-anchored]

Continued still.. December 3, 2023

Monday night I went to the Knights & flames game with Shane, he got really great tickets & I got to wear my jersey. It was a nice evening, he was good & I had asked him before not to ask me if Im ok at any point to trigger my emotional mess. Chrystal was gone the week so I was going into okotoks everyday to cover. Tuesday I originally didn't have plans but then Connor asked to hang out after work. Went for Taco tuesday which was nice then back to his place. I ended up staying the night, I felt like he wanted me to stay but idk, I still can't get a read on him. Part of me just thinks we're kind of doing the same thing to each other. I mean I know i'm not really going out of my way to ask him or make plans but his texting just sucks that I can't read if he wants to or not. Like its hard to keep any convo up over text & maybe he's just like that, I understand his work is a lot so keeping that up is tough, but then after we talked about how I might not be doing a roadtrip in January it died off & he didn't reply so whatever. I mean he has asked to hang out so I assume, & he does ask me to stay so maybe? But to what benefit? Idk. I do enjoy his company though. Wednesday I went for dinner with Ed & Mariana a founder of ours from Mexico city. Ill have to write another time on how I had planned to do a road trip down to the states or mexico for a few weeks but I dont think it's going to work out in January so I'll talk about it later for now. Went to Charbar which was really great, nice environment & cool, really great food. Thursday I finally had a night to myself, I was pretty tired from the week & had a lot this weekend so I chilled & gamed for a bit, took it easy. Friday had lunch with Ed, again I might talk about that later but I'm still really blessed to be working with him. Friday night was my ugly christmas sweater games night which I think turned out really well! 9 people including me, jeremiah brought his friend Dan, steven, amanda, shane who came 2 hours late... that was another whole other story of annoyance & triggering for me, Kamber, amber & naythan. It was fun, started around 6/6:30 & everyone stayed till like midnight so it was a lot of fun. Saturday I chilled for day, Marc forgot about our facetime which sucks but whatever. Was supposed to go to anneriekes to decorate the tree but didn't want to be around that environment again which I think I forgot to mention anyways that I went for dinner two weeks ago & it was just a lot to take in & I'm tired of talking about Steve. Anyway I went to amber & naythans instead with nova, nova did so good with Rue, it was honestly so sweet watching nova play again & be so gentle with her, made me so happy. We played catan & had a really great night. Amber also got me the exit game advent calendar that were all in a challenge together, like 4 of us couples minus mine of course & that's super fun so far, proud that I've solved the first two alone with no hints! Anyways, love those people so much. Today, sunday, went to 8:30am service which was so good again. I really love this church I think & want to stay in it. Its so lively & actually makes me want to lean into God when I leave & "sets my heart on fire" again feeling. Went to brunch with Daniel at Diner Deluxe which was great again, he's a good guy. Hes really smart & very... aware. Its a breath of fresh air & its really nice to be able to talk to someone emotionally on the same page especially about relationships & the struggles. Then mom surprised me at being at my house after so we could go for a walk & we had some good conversation. Then went to a movie with steven & amanda which was good so im finally relaxing now winding down for bed. This week will be busy again & the weekend but then it get's quiet which I think Im finally looking forward too.