#anyone who isn’t part of the hooded gang is ‘naked’

[swiftmitsu]

THE HOODED CALCIUM SOCIETY

LETS GOOOOOOOOOO‼️‼️‼️‼️

Introducing;

The Hooded Calcium Society~

(click for better quality)

[ofc-vi-writes-too]

a continuation of things that i think happen in my favorite fucked up silly little city (gotham)

• In hosptials in Gotham there’s another wing dedicated to super villain attacks Like how theres the ED, NICU, L&D, ICU, etc., theres another branch called Excessive Villain Attack Department (for) Emergencies. Also known as EVADE for short. it’s a brag to say you work in EVADE for doctors/nurses because A. the pay is ridiculously good, and B. how much extra stuff you had to learn to work there. People who work in EVADE have to go through weekly psych evaluations as well as physical testing to make sure they are still fit for duty.

• there are EVADE pop ups all around gotham so it’s citizens ares never more than 5 minutes away from medical attention. You have to work at a pop up before you’re allowed to work in EVADE in a real hosptial. People say working the pop ups is a lot harder and a lot nore stressfull, because people can come to you in really any condition out there.

• Similar to how kids in some areas cant wear certain colors like red or blue to school because of gang affiliation, gothamite students cannot wear anything superhero, vigilante or villain adjacent. No birds, bats, clowns, etc. Its a way for schools to try and stop kids from being targetted by their peers/ crazy adults who will attack them for supporting a specific person or party. Hero or otherwise.

• A lot of mom and pop diners/townie bars have foods named after vigilantes and specialty drinks named after villains. Some examples are:

Red Hoods Hot Chicken and Mac: bufallo mac and chicken with house hot sauce, so hot and tasty it will bring tears to your eyes! (this is true. jason tried it and he literally couldn’t feel his face. He couldn’t tell if he was blinking or not. Dick swears up and down he wasn’t.)

Nightwings: boneless chicken wings with a honey barbecue dry rub, with bleu cheese dipping sauce and chips and a blue corn dip. Dick can and will order 4 and eat them all by himself in one sitting.

Robins Eggs Breakfast combo: 2 sunny side up eggs, strawberry french toast, vegetarian sausage, house salad and an OJ. They tried to make it vegan but no one in Gotham wants breakfast without eggs. Robin said he appreciates the thought anyway. He is very smug and protective of his meal and the restaurant that made it. When he has the day shft he stops by there for breakfast, which isn’t often but still.

Signal soup: a classic squash soup, house focaccia and a garden salad. Its a seasonal meal that comes around every fall, and sells out almost every day for the entire season.

The Scarecrow: literally a long island iced tea with black liqueur in a martini glass with 3 olives. It tastes fucking horrible but will get you beyond hammered

Poison Ivy: shot of pochteca lime liqueur and pink whitney. Very tasty.

Regulator: its a blue margarita with coconut milk in it. Its a little sweet but its yummy. It’s common to black out on these because you cant taste the alch and by the time it hits you its too late and its the next morning and your naked in a strangers bed. Darn those regulators for a night you wont remember! at least the guy is handsome…

• See also the Condiment King challenge: A pint size glass of equal parts ketchup, mustard, pickle relish, mayonnaise, hot sauce, soy sauce, honey mustard, sweet and sour, bbq, salsa, fish sauce, vinegar, ranch, and wasabi. Hell in a cup! If you can drink it within 10 minutes without throwing up, you eat free at the dinner for a month and you get a t shirt that says “I completed the Condiment King challenge at Jimbo’s Dinner!” With a poorly drawn picture of condiment king on it. There has only been one winner: Timothy Drake. Jason dared him to try it after he hadnt slept in 3 days. Tim didnt puke, but Jason did. There were threats of violence if Tim ever told anyone that. Tim didn’t believe him, told Dick and magically ended up with a broken finger. “No AlfredI have NOOOOOO idea how it happened! Must’ve had a bad fall on patrol :3”

• taxes in gotham are shit-your-pants-when-you-see-it-the-first-time high. Gotham has to be able to pay for all the damages somehow, despite Bruce Wayne paying for about 15% of those damages out of pocket, its still not enough to stop prices from skyrocketing. To try and combat this, there is a Gala held anually for the top 10% of Gotham to fundraise for emergency city repairs. It helps a lot but doesn’t solve the problem.

[quillyfied]

Alright, reacting messy and all over the place to this trailer, LET’S GO:

Okay, strong opening: hooded figures (one of whom is checking his watch, which is hilarious, but the skin of the hand also looks red, so probably demons?), red background (good argument for Pride), Blitzo getting IMP out of dodge and then IMMEDIATELY crashing the van, good for you bud I’m so proud (but not as proud as I am of Moxxie chewing Blitzo out without a single “sir” thrown in there). Couldn’t begin to guess when this takes place, but since the van is crunched up later during a bit that is, I am 99% sure, Ghostfuckers, then this is probably Apology Tour. Hooded figures might not have anything to do at all with the gang running for it.

FIZZ THERE IS SUCH A THING AS A SEX TOY THAT IS TOO BIG. I’m not sure if you’ve found it but it’s close :P Lots of fun little clips, though Moxxie dodging a blue fire explosion in Lust doesn’t look good.

DHORKS AND CHERUB WORKING TOGETHER I KNEW IT I HECKING KNEW IT I’M SO MAD I NEVER MADE A POST ABOUT IT BECAUSE I’VE BEEN SO CERTAIN OF IT FOR MONTHS NOW. AAAARGH. AND I CAN’T PROVE IT!! But look at Collin, he looks so unsure compared to the other two. Poor guy. Okay, Blitzo is leaving a card of some sort in front of Agent One, and he’s using the crystal, so this is very much giving me Mastermind vibes (or even Sinsmas, if it's after the conflict and this is just Blitzo messing with them now). Humans being able to open a portal to Hell…that ain’t good!

Something coming at the gang from…looks like their office? And it’s round and spiky…could be whatever it is that’s making them go on the run, whenever that is (Apology Tour is my current guess).

CLETUS IS IRON MAN NOW.

(Listen I’ve been having visions about Blitzo being on trial for stirring up so much crap in the human world that it’s started to have repercussions in Hell so the fact that there seems to be a meeting or trial of some sort later having to do with Stolas is making me think maybe I’m a prophet. I’ll maybe explain more later in a different post but dropping it here bc it’s part of my thought process right now.)

Blitzo why did you give your fake ID such a rack and then neglect it as part of your human disguise XD I’m disappointed in you, babe. I’m also wondering what in the unholy hell a demon wants with a haunted house on Earth (and if that’s Leviathan like many people have been speculating, what is A DEADLY SIN doing in a HAUNTED HOUSE on EARTH???). (Also that is the single most awkward angle of Blitzo of all time, why on earth is he wearing white leggings because if he was naked we would be seeing some pixelation here…unless imps can retract their junk, which I’m open to.)

Ooh, quick shot of Loona operating a machine gun in Lust! Nice! (Hey quick Q where’s Blitzo in all of this??)

Helloooooo, Vassago! Excited to meet you! Really looks like there’s some sort of trial or meeting in Pride and Stolas might be either the topic of discussion or literally on trial, and it wouldn’t surprise me at all to have Andrealphus trying to get Stolas demoted or something similar without Stolas even being there. So Vassago actually wanting him present looks good on him for now. But this is a trailer, things can be misleading, but anyone who looks that fed up when dealing with Andrealphus can’t be all that bad :P Thinking this is also during Mastermind, or possibly Sinsmas.

Okay, first really significant shot I’m noticing of short-sleeve Blitzo makes me think it might be Full Moon, because he’s sort of off to the side while the focus is on Stolas talking about how this transactional thing between them isn’t right anymore. Though. Hmm. Stolas is in full regalia for this. And there’s a shot later of short-sleeve Blitzo trying to go for Stolas’ hand and winding up outside (portal? Didn’t seem like it) and Stolas is in his robe when that happens. Musical number with metaphorical sequences? I am jumping in here to correct myself bc I forgot that Stolas’ fancy cloak and romper are both red. Heck. Why does this show only have two colors XD

Sun/moon seems to be during Apology Tour, if that’s when Stolas and Verosika are on a stage together.

And short-sleeve Blitzo with a Dankee Candle, good on you man XD (that’s been one of the more compelling arguments for short-sleeve Blitzo being during Sinsmas, not Full Moon, because gift-giving, but the bits of deep conversation that keep happening with Blitzo in short sleeves sound very much like a conversation that needs to happen during Full Moon and I can’t imagine they’ll wait an entire season for it).

Now the heart-rending bit that’s definitely during a musical number with kiddo Stolitz and then grownup Stolitz, currently voiced over that heart-stabbing “you think you can toy with our feelings because we’re smaller and less important” monologe from Blitzo, it’s FINE I’M FINE (Though…looking really closely…I am not sure if that’s when that monologue occurs? The mouth movements ever so slightly don’t match up. But animation technically has some leeway when it comes to that kind of thing.)

OKAY CALLING IT NOW, TEEN BLITZO AND TILLA SCENE IS DURING GHOSTFUCKERS. I don’t even think it’s a flashback, I just think Blitzo’s brain is being fucked with and he’s seeing his mom and visually reverting back to a teenager. The carpet behind Blitzo and the lighting are mostly what I’m basing this on. Also how fucked up would it be if Blitzo sees a ghost of his mom only for it to reflect his internal monologue about how terrible he is back at him, amirite :P

Okay sassy short-robe Stolas is Apology Tour, calling it now; he and Blitzo have “we’re about to hatefuck” energy off the charts and Stolas in particular is being so bitchy and petty-looking. And angry. And kinda sad. Am I ready for their breakup era to be full of bickering? Yes. Yes I am. I’m also skeptical that the smile that’s on Blitzo’s face during Stolas’ sarcastic little bow is going to be the expression on his face when the episode comes out, but I’m ready to be surprised.

HELLOOOOOO NURSE! YES TODAY SATAN! (Deeply curious about who’s the disgrace, have a current bet going on whether it’s Ozzie or possibly even Stolas, but I could be pleasantly surprised and it’s Mammon :P) Pretty sure the trial/meeting is happening during Sinsmas, actually, it would be too funny to call an episode that when introducing a new Sin. Also short moment to appreciate that Mammon brings fidgets to meetings, of course he does. My guy. My dude. Also his reaction is what makes me think Satan is talking to Ozzie, because Mammon would have no reason to look that gleeful at anyone but Ozzie.

WHERE DID BLITZO GET THAT SWORD THO. (AND ALSO HOW BADLY IS IT ACTUALLY GONNA FUCK UP ANDREALPHUS’ WHOLE DAY BECAUSE THAT’S DEFINITELY ANDREALPHUS ABOUT TO COME DOWN ON THEM LIKE A SACK OF FROZEN HAMMERS) Blitzo trying to protect Stolas, kill me ;A; Stolas looks like he’s in regalia, though sans cloak or hat…why is he at Andrealphus’ place, and why is it looking like he can’t fight back? Stripped of his powers, maybe? Anyway this is Sinsmas, no doubt about it, it’s got season finale energy.

If the haunted house guy is actually Leviathan, I have SO MANY QUESTIONS.

Why is IMP in Lust getting attacked by CHERUB/DHORKS? I have more questions.

“Everyone’s shitty, we live in Hell!” Valid, but also, cop-out.

I’m very curious about what is making Blitzo make that face, because it’s not the cake; it looks like Verosika is cutting it but then she’s also sitting next to him on the railing where he’s sitting, so…? Anyway, it’s Apology Tour, and can I just say how EXCITED I am to get to know more about what happened with Blitzo and Verosika and maybe see some closure for them both on that front? Because YIKES their dynamic means there is a good, juicy story behind it. But also, Blitzo why are you wearing a bloodstained sheet?? (Presumably to sneak around but why did he choose THAT OBJECT, is really my question.)

Millie fighting possibly possessed Blitzo and what appears to be a flashback to Millie and Blitzo’s first fight (could be a time skip but it makes more sense for it to be a flashback given Millie’s hair and Blitzo’s fashion) (side note but dammit why are they both so hot) let me know something new about myself, and it’s how very, very much I want to see Millie and Blitzo kicking the crap out of each other XD Blitzo and Moxxie got to spill their guts in a drug-induced hallucination; I want Blitzo and Millie to fight each other bloody. They’re bonding and sharing deep intimate feelings, guys :P

And the Millie voiceover where she’s telling Blitzo how much he takes from others? Probably during whatever weird hallucination (PLEASE be a hallucination) involves Millie with tied wrists, a branch in her hair, and a ton of glass sticking out of her eye. Ghostfuckers, perhaps? Would make the most sense but how much stuff could that episode POSSIBLY have, oh my word.

(Short-sleeved Blitzo dropping a ton of paperwork on Moxxie also makes me think that’s his date outfit for Full Moon; can’t do this mountain of paperwork, sorry Mox, he has a daaaaate)

Panning to Verosika at the part when she gets to “and leave them worse than when you found them” holy HELL

“Do you feel any remorse for the things you do” yeah somehow I think that’s aimed at Blitzo, y’all. Just from what we’ve seen of Stolas in that particular robe and his general expressions and actions that whole time, and the fact that he seems to be talking to Blitzo (if not an imagining of Blitzo) the whole time. But it panning to Andrealphus about to go super Saiyan does make me laugh super hard actually (bc NO THAT BITCH DOES NOT).

ENTIRE MOMENT OF BREATHLESS SILENCE FOR OCTAVIA CALLING STOLAS OUT. It’s been so complexly beautiful to watch this show not shy away from how much self-hatred and low self-worth hurts loved ones too, and especially to watch that play out with how Octavia and Stolas’ relationship is changing and hurting from Stolas himself changing and hurting, but to have it called out so bluntly really makes me wonder what in the high holy heck is about to happen and when this conversation takes place. I have a horror that it’s during Mastermind or whenever the trial/meeting is, because perhaps Andrealphus and Stella manage to turn Via on Stolas and tell her that whatever is about to happen to Stolas is deserved or for the best, but. Uh. Hmm. Hmmmm. (Because all of Stolas’ power and possessions passing to Via doesn’t mean that Via is old enough or prepared for them and giving them to her would put all that power somewhere that is potentially much easier to manipulate/control, but I have a lot of thoughts about how Stella feels about Via and how that colors how Andrealphus treads around the subject of Via when talking to Stella about her and it’s not for this trailer reaction.)

(Apology Tour involving not just apologizing to Verosika, but to Stolas, too? I can only hope, though it’ll be far from simple; I don’t think Stolitz is going to sort out their issues and get together fully this season, but I’m hoping for some steps.)

(Also PLEASE can we get some Stella development that maybe sheds some dimension on her spoiled brat personality)

VIA SONG VIA SONG VIA SONG VIA SONG (maybe about her own magic and her life and how it all kinda fell apart so fast even as she’s growing up so fast poor girl)

Pretty sure the mirrors shattering thing is happening during the Stolas Apology Tour song, but we’ll see. Gosh there’s gonna be a lot of songs this half of the season.

Millie getting a short is such a good thing for her as a character, but I also love that she’s getting an episode with Blitzo, because out of everyone at IMP, I’ve been waiting for her to be the one that Blitzo has a major breakdown in front of; seems like Ghostfuckers is going to give me my wish! I don’t think she’s gonna coddle him or be overly sweet about it, but I do think she has a way of getting through to him and handling him in a way he wouldn’t let Moxxie do and couldn’t handle Loona doing either. Tough love but sweet? Idk man. Unless this is the moment he starts getting possessed. Who knows.

I am SO CURIOUS about who is going through the movie of Blitzo’s past traumas where he ruins the lives of everyone he loves; I’ve heard speculation that it’s haunted house dude, which would match up with Blitzo having a nervous breakdown in Ghostfuckers, but I dunno.

Oh that soft Blitzo look from under the bloodstained sheet. Oh that happy smiling Stolas that I’m now more convinced is taking place in the same general episode, if not sequentially after each other like that. Blitzo goes from looking so miserable to maybe looking more hopeful. Or perhaps yearning. I’m not sure how to interpret the expression, it’s just really heart-wrenching okay. And Stolas is wearing the same outfit as he is when he’s onstage with Verosika so what even IS this episode.

The very businesslike way Stolas says “Thank you, Blitzo” before he softens up makes me think THAT is what’s gonna finish up the Full Moon argument, but it does make me wonder what on earth Blitzo says that gets Stolas acting the way he does in potentially the very next episode.

Overall it’s a well-produced trailer that I’m sure we’re all going to be dissecting frame by frame for a long time! Whee!

[angelz-dust]

masters of none - part 3 (jason todd x reader)

summary: i wanted to give you guys a more jason focused chapter. i plan on doing more of these where the reader isn’t as heavily included or not even included at all. hopefully the jason chapter i do will be better because i feel like the quality of my writing dipped a little on this one fhjghdk the next part will be back in reader’s head i promise. anyway i hope you guys still enjoy. this chapter is a little more dangerous, so prepare yourself.

word count: 6k

warnings: illegal activities (street racing, running from the cops, gunfire). food and drink (non alcoholic). smoking.

part 1 /// part 2 /// part 4

rascal (superstar)

money, cash, clothes, fast cars

...

jason felt the cool nighttime air beating back against him, the rumble of his engine being the only thing he could hear as he rode his motorcycle down the quiet road in robbinsville. he felt naked being out and about at night in his civilian clothing but it was necessary for the task at hand. 

"exactly what does bruce want me to do?" jason asked barbara through their comm link.

"he wants you to report back with any intel you can get," barbara explained, the sound of her furious typing picking up in his ear. "my father thinks southside may be up to something. after that blow up between them and the penguin's guys, they've both been quiet. bruce just wants to make sure nothing's brewing under our noses."

"this is such a cop mission," jason complained as made a turn. "below my caliber, if i'm being honest."

"well, you'll have the races to keep you entertained," she reminded him. "i'll be on the line if you need me."

the races were the only reason jason had agreed to take on the little spy mission in the first place. sure, street racing was very illegal but it was also very entertaining. barbara was correct on that end. he just hoped it wouldn't be a complete waste of his time and he'd actually get some information out of the whole thing. he had to admit that it was a tolerable change of pace from the monotony that was patrolling crime alley. jason had passed the baton to cass for the night. she was the only person he trusted to do a good job. he refused to let just anyone take over his patrol route. things were different in crime alley. it required a... gentler touch that only he could provide and that he felt cass had an understanding of. one of the things he promised himself he'd do with his undeserved second chance at life was to protect the people who needed it most. it didn't matter how monotonous patrol became, or how tired he felt, or how how hard things got. he'd protect them all until his body didn't let him anymore.

jason could see his destination, the abandoned industrial park, in the distance. there were several cars parked all throughout it with people congregating around them. from what he could see, everything seemed calm. the closer he got, the better he could hear the loud music playing from the cars. he slowly pulled up, getting some looks from the people he passed by on his way to park it. coming here alone may have been a bad idea. he should've dragged dick along with him. it would've made blending in easier. he dismounted his bike, propping it up on the kickstand and pulling his helmet off his head. as he casually fixed his hair, he did a quick scan of the area. there were several groups of people scattered around while the road was being prepared for the race. 

he saw a group of rowdy socialites a bit overdressed for a street race. he could use them as cover but the last thing he wanted to do was willingly be around the likes of them. there was one small group tucked away, standing around an electric blue sports car. their eyes were shifty and he could see they were trying to keep their voices down, even when they were far away from everyone else. he'd have to keep an eye on them. jason's eyes fell on the group of people counting money, presumably the betting pot. placing one would be a good way of blending in organically. he had made sure to grab some money from the emergency stash when he left the manor for this very reason. he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his black leather jacket, making his way over to the crowded area.

"we're short by a thousand," a woman, the bookkeeper, announced.

"pitch in," a man said, elbowing another guy.

quinton kelly, jason thought to himself, recognizing the rapper that stephanie and duke liked so much. 

"i don't have a fucking band on me," quinton laughed in response, pulling out his wallet. "i can put down three."

"i'll match that," another man spoke up, a cigarette in his mouth. if memory served, which jason liked to think it did, that was tyler ronan. 

"who else has money burning a hole in their pocket?" the bookkeeper shouted out, making the group laugh. 

"come on, superstar. donate to the cause," the man from earlier spoke up, bothering someone else now.

"hell no," an oddly familiar female voice said. jason's eyes searched for the source. "are you insane?"

surprise flashed across his face when he realized who the voice belonged to. it was you. y/n l/n. the girl from the gala. his bard. he felt an odd sensation building in his stomach. he had convinced himself he was never going to see you again yet here you were. your presence made sense. quinton and tyler were members of cloud 9, just like you were. he wasn’t sure if he was happy to see you or if he was glad he could use you as cover. he could just follow you around and no one would question it. this was him banking on the assumption that you'd actually want to speak to him. he was hoping that he made a good impression on you at the gala. your interaction was short, but memorable. at least it was to him. staring at you like a deer in headlights wasn't going to get him anywhere, so he spoke up.

"i can put down four," he said, emerging from the back of the group. he felt all the eyes on him and he could hear the whispers. he ignored them all, his attention fully on the bookkeeper. the surprised look on her face led him to believe that she recognized him, too.

"well, i'm not going to turn down old money," she joked, getting some laughs. "what's your name? there's so many of you wayne kids, i can't keep track."

jason chuckled, nodding in understanding. even he lost track sometimes. "jason."

"okay, mr. jason wayne," she said, taking his name down. 

"it's todd," you said, catching him off guard. his eyes met yours, a small smile appearing on his lips. 

"oh, excuse me," she laughed, correcting herself. "mr. jason todd."

"i'm racking up the celebrity bets tonight," the man, who jason now deducted was the driver, grinned. 

"yeah, so don't embarrass us by losing," the bookkeeper said seriously, counting up the money. 

"alright! let's get this shit started!" someone yelled, everyone cheering loudly and moving in towards the finish line.

you, tyler, and quinton were walking over as a group, but jason noticed you were trailing behind. he couldn't help but think in the back of his mind that you had slowed your stride for him. he made his way over to you, being greeted by your sweet smile.

“hi jason,” you said softly, keeping your voice low. “i didn’t think i’d see you here tonight.”

“i could say the same about you,” jason couldn’t help but wonder what it was you were doing a street race. yes, there were other celebrities there but he didn’t peg you as the type to hang out with gang members. but then again, this was gotham. “can’t say i’m disappointed to see you, though.”

your smile grew, your eyes crinkling a little. “well, the feeling is mutual. it’s nice to see you, too.”

what he said was the truth. it wasn't something he said to try and butter you up, although that may have influenced his decision to tell you how he felt. he really did enjoy your company, both as red hood and as jason. he wasn’t particularly looking forward to his mission but now he was glad he accepted. 

"hey," you called out, sticking your foot out and kicking quinton in the butt with the tip of your shoe. quinton turned around and gave jason a look. after a moment, he held his hand out to him. 

"what's up, man?" he greeted jason, dapping him up, tyler doing the same. "you hanging with us tonight?"

"yes, he is," you answered for him, making jason grin. 

he was glad you were eager to keep him around. now he didn't have to try and convince you or insert himself awkwardly. "can you spot me?" jason asked, gesturing towards tyler's cigarette.

"sure thing," tyler nodded, holding the carton out for him. jason plucked one out of the box, quickly lighting it and taking a long drag. 

while the three of you talked, jason took the opportunity to try and listen in on the other conversations happening around him. it was like he was playing with a radio, tuning in and out of conversations as he saw fit. none of them were interesting or helpful, though. they were pretty boring and mostly topical, pertaining to the race, the cars, and just other mindless bullshit.

"yeah, we're gonna drop the stuff off at the docks after the race. mix it in with the bite bottles," he heard someone say. 

bingo. he didn't know what the stuff was but he assumed it was nothing good, especially if it was being hidden with something as harmless as track bite. he'd have to look into that later. it was safe to assume they were referring to were the docks off of cape carmine, not too far from the current location. jason lightly pressed on his comm link, glancing around before speaking quietly. 

"i think something might go down at the docks later tonight," he said, hearing barbara's shuffling.

"cape carmine?" 

"i would assume so. they were talking about hiding some shit with track bite bottles."

"knowing them it could be something as simple as drugs or complex as new tech. just keep me posted."

jason was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard the low rumble of car engines. the first car was candy apple red 240sx, souped up beyond comprehension. the other was as glossy black gtr, more subtle in presentation. as he admired the cars rolling by, he realized something. he turned his head towards you, clearing his throat.

"which car did i bet on?" he asked you quietly, getting a confused smile from you. 

"the red one," you said through a little laugh. "did you seriously bet without knowing?"

"perhaps," jason shrugged, feigning nonchalance. 

"idiot," you shook your head, making him laugh now. 

"well, your friends knew. i trust their judgement."

"as you should," quinton said, catching the tail end of the conversation between you both. "our boy spider knows what he's doing."

you and jason looked out at the road again, watching as it was prepped with track bite and then lit on fire with propane. jason glanced over at you, noticing you were struggling to see behind your very tall friends and the other people in the way. he gently tapped your arm, non verbally offering you a spot in front of him. you accepted with a smile, working your way in front of him.

"don't get any ashes in my hair," you playfully told him. he went to do just that, pretending to tap off the excess from his cigarette on your head, purposefully missing so you could see the ashes fall down in front of you. you gasped, moving back, his firm abdomen pressed against you. with your head against his chest, you looked up at him and glared.

"okay, okay, i'm sorry," jason laughed, sticking the cigarette back in his mouth. "you made it too easy."

"you're such an ass," you rolled your eyes, turning back around and moving out of his personal space bubble. jason's shit eating grin never left his face as he took another drag, making sure to keep the smoke and ashes as far from you as he could. the flagger for the race walked out as the cars pulled up to the starting line. with the street prepped and the cameras set up, the main race was finally going to begin. 

"gigante wants us to head out early, so we need to leave after this." 

these idiots just loved talking about sensitive information out loud, didn't they? it made jason’s job a whole lot easier so he couldn't complain. it was too bad that he'd have to leave early for the lead, though. he was just starting to get comfortable around you again. it seemed to be a running theme with the two of you.

the cars flashed their high beams, the flagger waiting a moment before giving the signal. as soon as he did, the drivers pressed down on the gas, their tires screeching against the concrete. spider's car popped a wheelie before speeding down the street, the black gtr not far behind. the 240sx was swerving, which would normally be alarming with an inexperienced driver behind the wheel. thankfully, the gtr stayed straight. despite spider’s sloppy swerving, the two cars were still neck and neck. it wasn't long before they zoomed past the crowd, eventually slowing down at the end of the road. it happened so quickly but it looked like spider had just barely passed the finish line before the gtr. 

"review the fucking footage!" someone from the other side shouted. 

there was a lot of money riding on the race, so naturally tensions were high. jason could hear arguments as two people went to go grab the cameras so they could look over the recordings. aside from the arguing, it was very quiet while everyone waited for the results.

"it's the 240!" they announced, looking at the footage on a tablet. there was a mix of cheers and objections. people were demanding to see the footage themselves but it was clear that the ruling was accurate and final. just as the two bookkeepers made the money exchange, accepting the results of the race.

"see, y/n? your boy was right to trust us," quinton grinned, patting jason's back, who grinned back. “easy money. not that you needed it.”

"i'll go grab our cuts?" tyler questioned, looking between quinton and jason, who agreed. "alright, i'll be back."

jason's eyes were glued on the two men he was eavesdropping on earlier. they were headed over to the same area tyler was going, presumably to get their cut of the money. there was a huge crowd of people, so it would probably take awhile. during jason’s observation, quinton had walked off to talk to someone else, leaving you with him. he probably had a few more minutes before he’d have to go back to being red hood, so he wanted to make the most of it. 

“so, you come to these things often?” jason asked, his curiosity getting the better of him. he wasn’t sure if you’d give him the answer he was looking for but it was worth a shot.

“not really. i got dragged here,” you shrugged, getting a nod from him. he was slightly relieved, hoping that meant you weren’t heavily involved with the people there. it would be convenient to get information from you but he didn’t want to spend the little time he had left interrogating you. “what about you?”

“i’ve been to a few,” he admitted, looking back at his two targets. they were still waiting around with tyler. his attention quickly went back to you. “how’s your wife?”

your brows furrowed briefly before your eyes widened. “oh, misha. she’s my ex-wife now, technically.”

“my deepest condolences,” jason joked. “does that make me a home wrecker after all?”

you hummed, looking up at the night sky as you thought it over. “no, i don’t think so. you’re more than welcome to be my back up plan, though.”

a hearty laugh came from jason, making his chest tingle. that was probably the douchiest thing he had ever said to someone. he was lucky you hadn’t slapped him or threw your drink in his face for being so bold that night. jason looked over at the group again, noticing that tyler was in the middle of getting the money, his two targets right behind him. he frowned a little, realizing that he’d have to excuse himself. just as he was about to, he heard some yelling in the distance. you both looked around, trying to figure out where it was coming from. 

before jason could even find the source of the commotion, he heard the sound of police sirens and the red and blue lights that naturally accompanied it. the crowd quickly reacted, stampeding away and back towards the parking area. people were yelling and cursing but loud screams replaced it all when gunshots rung out. jason immediately reached out to you, pulling you into his body while he searched for a way out. 

"come on!" jason shouted, grabbing your arm and starting to drag you away. he needed to get you both out of there as soon as possible.

"wait!" you gasped, looking around for your friends. jason could tell you were panicking as you tried to find them, but there was no time. not while the gunshots got louder and more frequent. "tyler! quinton!"

"we have to go, y/n! come on!" he firmly grabbed your hand and pulled, you reluctantly running off with him. he looked around for his bike, pushing through people as he worked his way over.

"god, you're parked in fucking guam!" you complained about the distance, trying to keep up with him. 

"less talking, more running!"

you both made it to the bike, him put on his helmet and passing you yours. as you both mounted the bike, he felt your arms wrap tightly around his midsection and your cheek press into his back. "hold on tight, alright?" he said before speeding off, slipping expertly through the parked cars and people in his way.

as he rode his bike through the park, there were several cars with the same idea, all evacuating the area by going out the same way. too impatient to wait, he began weaving through the cars. it didn't take long for the huge group to get to the main streets where more cops were waiting for them. many of the cars began making wild turns off road and going in the opposite direction but jason had other plans. he picked up speed, heading straight for the forming blockade.

"you're heading straight for the cops!" you yelled, tightening your grip around him. 

"keen observation!" 

"maybe you should turn around?"

"nah, i'm good!" jason told you, cockiness lacing his words. he knew what he was doing. "you trust me, right?"

"i don’t even know you!" you said back, peeking over his shoulder before hiding your face in his back as he continued approaching the cars at a violent speed. jason easily slipped through the cop cars, making it through before the road was blocked off. 

jason smirked, making a sharp turn down the curving street. he was about to say something smug when he heard the sirens getting closer. he glanced at his mirror, seeing one of the cars trailing him. shit.

"shit."

"jason!"

"i know!" 

his grip on the handle bars tightened as he sped up, trying to find a way to lose the cop without putting you in danger. if it was just him, he'd do some more risky maneuvers but he really didn't want you flying off the back of his bike. he'd have to lose them in a safer way. 

"pull over your vehicle! this is your only warning!" the officer said through the speaker of the car.

jason really didn't want to take you through crime alley or the bowery, so his best bet was driving towards blüdhaven. it was better than finding a way to turn around in order to stay in gotham and blüdhaven was much closer, anyway. hopefully he'd lose the cop after crossing city lines. he really didn't want to circumnavigate the planet to get away from one cop.

he had an idea. a stupid idea, but an idea nonetheless. he was getting dangerously close to traffic and as long as you stayed tightly wrapped around him, he could slip through and cross the bridge to blüdhaven, losing the cop in the process. would you like it? probably not, but he was running out of options. 

"jason, what are you doing?" you asked frantically, the bright city lights getting closer and closer.

"something stupid," he sped up, trying to put more distance between him and the cop. "do not move a muscle."

"stop the vehicle! now!" the cop yelled through the speaker again. 

jason could smell the burning rubber of his tires as he turned down the street, the sound of horns honking as he slipped through traffic, the cop still hot on his tail. he slowed down a little in order to make accurate and much safer movements as traffic got denser, giving him more cars to avoid. he glanced at the mirror again, seeing he had made a some good distance. if he could keep it up, he'd lose the cop in no time. the bridge to blüdhaven wasn't much farther. 

"jason, look out!" you yelled, pointing to the oncoming sixteen wheeler about to cut both of you off. there was a reason you weren't supposed to run red lights. 

he had two options: come to a screeching halt, turning the both of you into projectiles or keep pushing and pray to god that you both didn't get t-boned by the s.t.a.r labs semi. jason furrowed his brows and set his jaw speeding up as much as he could. he could hear the loud horn ringing in his ears but he kept laser focus on his intended destination. he zipped past the truck, just barely going fast enough to not get hit. in the driver's attempt to not hit you two, he stopped in the middle of the street, preventing the cop from being able to follow anymore. jason's heart was hammering in his chest as he rode down the bridge down to blüdhaven, the warm yellow streetlights illuminating the way. once he crossed over, he headed to a nearby diner. he parked in the back lot, not wanting to draw too much attention.

"hey, are you alright?" he asked, taking off his helmet and getting off the bike. he hung it from the handlebar, helping you dismount. he hesitantly moved his hands towards your face, unclipping your helmet and pulling it off your head. "y/n? talk to me. are you hurt?"

"n-no, i'm fine," you told him shakily. seeing you all shaken up made him feel terrible. he wasn't sure how to comfort you without overstepping boundaries, so he kept his distance, giving you time to recover. after you collected yourself, jason flinched at your sudden physical attacks.

"i can't believe you!" you yelled, abusing his chest with smacks and punches. "you almost got us killed!"

"i-i'm sorry!" he sputtered, grabbing your wrists to stop you from hitting him. "i didn't know what else to do!"

you looked at him, a hard expression on your face. god, you probably hated him and he couldn’t blame you. leave it to him to fuck some shit up. his self deprecating thoughts began to subside when he saw the smile of disbelief forming on your face. "jason todd, you are a fucking maniac."

he loosened his grip on your wrists, a smile slowly making its way to his face, mirroring yours. "i've been called worse."

"just another fucking day in gotham," you groaned, dragging your hands down your face. "or blüdhaven, i guess."

"yeah, sorry about that," he apologized with a frown. "that bastard was persistent."

"don't worry about it," you reassured him, letting out a deep sigh. "i need to call my friends and make sure they're alright."

jason nodded, grabbing his own phone. "yeah, i gotta make a call, too."

the two of you separated, jason only pretending to be on the phone so he could talk to barbara. "you there?"

"yeah. i see you went on a little drive," she said, her almost sounding like scolding.

"what the hell was i supposed to do? we had to get out of there," jason frowned. 

"we?" barbara echoed and jason could practically hear the quirk in her brow. 

"not important. what's important is acknowledging the fact that i didn't hear the sweet sound of your voice earlier," jason started off sarcastically, it being his turn to scold now. "where the hell were you at, almighty oracle? you didn't wanna tell me the cops were gonna show up?"

"i didn't know they were out there," she admitted honestly, sounding confused. "they must have been keeping it on the down low. the question now is why."

"probably so people like us wouldn't find out," jason sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. 

"maybe," she sounded unsure. being unsure wasn't really barbara’s thing, so that was alarming.

"well, i doubt anything will go down at the docks now. the area's too hot."

"you're probably right. there's nothing else we can do tonight," barbara sighed. "glad you're not dead."

"yeah, thanks," jason gave her a quick goodbye, putting his phone away and walking back to his bike. you had just finished your conversation, looking relieved. "good news?"

"tyler and quinton got out fine. i think they took a different exit out because i didn't see them with that big group we were in," you explained, shivering a little. 

"we should go inside. it'll be better than loitering out here," jason offered and you nodded in agreement. you entered the diner, noticing there weren't many people inside.

"let's sit in that booth over there," you pointed over to the near the window, jason's bike being visible on the outside. 

you both made your way over, sliding into your seats. the atmosphere was a bit awkward initially, the both of you still coming down from your adrenaline rush. jason hooked his finger under the little acrylic standee holding the dessert menu, pulling it towards himself. a nice cup of coffee with something sweet sounded good right about now. it would definitely calm his nerves. he wasn’t sure if you’d get anything, though. maybe you were too frazzled to eat, which made him feel bad again. before his negative thoughts could return, he looked up, noticing you eyeballing the menu leaning against the window sill. you had your head tilted to the side, as the menu was stored horizontally, making it difficult to read the text. he couldn't help but smile to himself as you squinted at it. why would didn't just grab the menu to look at it properly, he didn't know. he wasn't going to question it, though, simply putting his menu back where he found it. 

"what can i get you kids tonight?" the approaching waitress asked, pulling out her notepad. 

"a black coffee and a slice of pie for me," jason said as the waitress quickly wrote his order down. 

"is apple alright?" she asked and jason nodded. "what about you, hon?"

"um... blueberry waffles," you said, tilting your head some more before looking at her. "and hot chocolate."

the waitress smiled at your order, nodding as she jotted it down. "you want some bacon or sausage on the side? we have pork and turkey."

you hummed, drumming your fingers on the table. "yes. turkey bacon."

"shouldn't take but a minute. if you two find yourselves wanting anything else, you just let me know."

jason yawned, leaning back against his seat with outstretched arms. he did some people watching while he waited for the waitress to return. there was a small group of people, college students most likely, sitting at the middle tables with textbooks and empty plates strewn about. there was a cop sitting at the bar, very obviously flirting with the other, much younger waitress who was refilling his coffee. then there was you and him. he had been with you for quite some time now and he hadn't taken the opportunity to look at you. to really look at you. you absentmindedly played with the hair that directly framed your face while you were on your phone. you looked awfully comfortable in your oversized sweatshirt despite your shivering earlier. you weren't really dressed up, he noticed. it didn't look like you had on any makeup either. then again, tim had told him that people who wore makeup had the ability to make it look like they weren't wearing any at all. the natural look was what it was called. either way, your face looked nice. so did your hair. and your eyes, that were now gazing into his.

"you know, i definitely didn't see myself ending up here tonight."

jason's brow perked up. "what? running from the cops on the back of my motorcycle wasn't on your bingo card?"

"can't say it was," you shook your head with a smile. 

"are you disappointed?"

"with?"

"where you ended up tonight."

"no," you said, not missing a beat. your lack of hesitation surprised him in the best way possible. "sure, you almost killed me but that's a typical tuesday for a gothamite."

jason grinned, biting his lip. "i'm sorry about that. really, i-"

"no, no," you cut him off, dismissing his apology with a wave of the hand. "don't apologize. it's over and done with."

even though you seemed to be okay with everything, he still felt like shit. that feeling wasn’t going away any time soon. the waitress returned with your food and drinks, receiving thanks from you both. jason immediately took a sip of his coffee, the potent flavor coating his tongue and the warmth of the liquid heating his body up. it helped soothe some of his anxiety.

"this is so cute," you muttered, taking a picture of your plate. the chef had arranged the blueberries and bacon to make a smiley face that you couldn't help but smile back at. once you got a good picture, you started digging in. 

there was no conversation to be had. the two of you just ate, occasionally glancing at each other or at your phones. every now and then your eyes would meet and little smiles would be shared. you and jason were people who appreciated the intimacy of silence. not talking was often harder than holding a conversation. being able to sit in complete silence with someone and not feel uncomfortable at any point was a hard task for most but it came naturally to you both. not that you two had much to talk about anyway. you barely knew each other and you definitely weren’t about to bond over your near death experience. jason didn’t want to risk possibly fucking up even more than he already had, so not talking worked for him. it didn’t help keep his intrusive thoughts out, though. he tried not to focus on them, distracting himself with people watching and looking at you.

“where did you learn to ride like that?” you asked him, suspicion lacing your words. you popped a blueberry into your mouth, tilting your head at him.

“uh...” he trailed off, shrugging softly as he hid his face in his mug, drinking the liquid inside. “nowhere. myself. i don’t know. i guess it was just the adrenaline. why?”

you shrugged back at him, reaching over and stealing a small piece of his pie. you looked him in the eye as you ate it, licking the food off your fork as your eyes narrowed. “you know how i’m batman? i’m starting to think you might be catwoman.”

jason snorted, breathing out a laugh as he looked around the diner in disbelief. not only did he find your little joke funny, the fact that you technically weren’t that far off was amusing to him. “you’re ridiculous.”

“you aren’t denying it?” your brow raised, making him laugh again. “ah, i’ve caught you red handed.”

oh, this was just the gift that kept on giving. now you were making puns without even realizing it. 

“i mean, it all makes sense. the unnecessary flirting, calling me out for being a vigilante, and now running from the cops,” you clicked your tongue with a shake of the head, carefully wiping the corners of your mouth. you balled up your napkin, tossing it on your now empty plate. “i don’t know why you thought that i, the greatest detective in gotham, wouldn’t be able to piece this all together. i’m offended, really.”

“can i get you two anything else tonight?” the waitress asked as she walked up, just missing your conversation.

“no, ma’am. i think we’re good,” jason smirked, not taking his eyes off of you. she left the check on the table, walking off. jason pulled out his wallet, leaving a twenty to cover both the food and the tip. 

“wayne money or dirty money? the world will never know,” you quipped as the two of you got up to leave, making him roll his eyes.

“shut up.”

after a quick pit stop at the gas station, jason took you back to your apartment in the diamond district. the ride there was long, but nice, accompanied by music coming from the radio. a cloud 9 song played at one point and jason decided that he might have to give your discography a listen. the way you held yourself against him, nuzzling into his back gave him goosebumps. or maybe it was just the nippy temperature. he hoped that’s all it was. for awhile, he wondered if you were cold. if his jacket was warmer, he would’ve offered it to you a long time ago. and, of course, if it wasn't so cliché. with the way you were attached to him, he liked to think that his body heat was enough. relief washed over him when he pulled up in front of gotham tower. he wasn’t sure how much more he of that could take. he parked, letting you off.

"do you wanna come in?" you pulled him from his thoughts as you took off your helmet. 

"come in?" he parroted, a laugh falling from your lips.

"i'm not asking you to spend the night or anything. it’s just.. you’ve been acting like my chauffeur all night and it isn’t safe to be out this late. i'd feel horrible if something happened to you," you explained, getting a smile from him. 

"don't worry about me. i'll be fine. my place isn't too far from here," he lied with a shrug. his safehouse was nowhere near the diamond district but you didn’t need to know that little detail. the rest of what he said was true. he was going to be fine. “besides, i’m catwoman, remember?”

"at least let me give you my number," you insisted with a giggle, pulling out your phone. "you have to text me when you get home."

jason agreed and the two of you exchanged numbers, bidding each other goodbye. he made sure to stay and watch you go up before leaving. on his way home, he thought about your concern for his wellbeing, finding it cute. misplaced, but cute. it wasn't your fault, though. you didn't know he was more than capable of taking care of himself and the whole damn city, for that matter. you know, as catwoman. still, it was sweet having someone worry about him for a change, even if it wasn’t completely necessary. when he got back to his safe house he texted you, just as promised. you must've been waiting for him because you responded pretty quick. he crawled into bed, smiling down at the heart emojis you sent him. he decided to send you something back before going to sleep, his thumbs slowly typing out the words that popped into his head.

you better not start texting me all the time.

don't flatter yourself. i won’t.

he hoped that you would anyway.

[sunlitcigars]

Soft!Dallas Headcanons

(Is this a little ooc? Yes. Am I also a slut for Soft!Dallas? 110% also yes.)

(Not my GIF)

Tags: @lastluvbug @disasterinadress97​

General:

 Dallas would never admit it but he has separation anxiety 

It's always why he stays at Bucks because he knows he's not alone and also why he's always at the Curtis'

He's also got PTSD from New York

Certain gunshots trigger memories in him

We all know the boy is touch starved let's be honest

He's subtle about it though like him always swinging his arm around Johnny and/or touching shoulders with Ponyboy or anyone of the gang

He loves the feeling of someone running their fingers through his hair

He really enjoys cuddles

Doesn't really matter what kind they are he just wants someone to hold him and make him feel okay

Always has his shirt tucked in as a habit because back in New York a lot of people would touch up on him 

 When he's nervous or on the verge of a breakdown he either starts bouncing his legs non-stop or starts scratching at his arms 

Will also play with his ring if he has it on

When he's stressed out and doesn't want to bother the gang or anybody else he'll usually go to the lot and watch the clouds go by if it's nice whether 

But when it rains he'll usually be up in his room at Buck's and watch from his window as it passes by (same goes when it's snowing)

He may like rain but he's scared of thunderstorms

Whenever he hears thunder he either puts his knees to his chest and bury his head in his legs or cover his ears or both

When that happens at the Curtis' one of the guys rub his back and pull him close to them until it's over 

 One of the things he's also afraid of is the dark since his whole life has been consumed by it

If the power goes out when he's alone he grabs a pillow and imagines one of the gang or someone so it doesn't seem like he's alone 

If the power goes out when he's at the Curtis' he'll grab someone's arm or hide his face in their shoulders

Can make bombass cupcakes and cookies but no one has ever tried them except for Tim

He actually really likes jazz because it reminds him of a simpler time in his life

Dallas doesn't really like big parties because the amount of loud shouting reminds him of back in New York when either the police would shoot at random gang members or something else

HE'S EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE AND WE ALL KNOW IT 

Dallas was close to Mrs. Curtis because she was the only women in his life that represented a motherly figure to him 

But when he heard the news about the crash he locked himself up in his room silently crying and never left the room the gang or anyone for that matter saw him for at least two weeks

(The only time anyone saw him in between those two weeks was at Mr. and Mrs. Curtis' fun

NSFW:

He's the type to talk big but is actually really shy in bed

Some people thinks he's the bratty sub type but really he gets flustered so easily

He's packing a 5 ½ to 6 Inches let's be honest here

He's not good with words in bed so if he wants something he'll stutter it out or whisper/mutter it under his breath

He feels so vulnerable laid out naked for the person on the bed 

He wants to feel he's validated enough to know that he's loved by the person 

He won't say it to anyone but he loves the feeling of being filled with cum 

His nipples are sensitive as fuck

Like if someone only played with them he'd orgasm in less then four minutes

D A D D Y  K I N K

H U M I L I A T I O N  K I N K

O R G A S M  C O N T R O L

He's actually really vocal during sex but would muffle his sounds with a pillow or cover his mouth with his hand or bite down on his lips

He whimpers

A lot

If he's feeling special then he'll put on a little show whether that's him strip teasing or touching himself for someone

If he's having a one night stand he prefers to be on his stomach/or hand and knees but if he's in a relationship then he prefers to be on his back so he can look at them and feel comfortable and safe

Hickeys are a huge fuck yes because they remind him who he belongs to and shows people not to try and hook up with him

Another one night stand vs. An actual relationship is that he usually has a cigarette after having sex but if he's in a relationship then he doesn't need one since he already feels content

Aftercare is a huge part for him 

He loves getting pampered and cared for because it's the only time he feels like he doesn't have to act so tough and can relax and let his walls down

FYI he's capable of doing grabby hands just so y'all know

In A Relationship:

He's with the person 24/7

Will low key freak out if he doesn't know where they are and where they went

He's afraid of them finding someone better than him because he feels like he's not good enough for the other person 

Is a little possessive overprotective of the person

If he gets sent to jail he'll give the person his necklace until he's out

He'll also grab something from the person so it doesn't feel like he's completely alone in there

He won't show it but when him and the person are talking through the glass his eyes are filled with loneliness and desperation 

Once he's out he's not leaving their side

Will beat the shit out of anyone who talks shit about his person in a god damn heart beat

He used to be in an abusive relationship so he doesn't let down his walls all the way

If he did something wrong he's always expecting for the worse but then he has to remind himself that they aren't his ex

If him and the person are arguing and they lift up their arm to make a gesture or whatever he will flinch away from them

If they try and leave the bed he'll cling to them like his life depended on it

E X T R A clingy when drunk

He never said I love you so when he said it to the person for the first time he was a stuttering mess

DD/LB: (If you don't like this please don't bitch about it or just simply skip this part)

His headspace is between 4 to 5 years old

Loves when his caregivers call him pet names

Baby boy and prince are his favorite

Likes to color because it keeps his anxiety at a neutral level

Slurs some of his words

Has a fluffy stuffed elephant named Lilac

Finds comfort in his caregivers voice

Clingy

If he wants to be picked up he'll make grabby hands

If he's tired then he'll crawl into his caregivers lap and nuzzle his face into their neck

When he's feeling on the verge of little space in public he'll unnoticeably hold the person's arm 

One of his favorite Disney movie is 101 Dalmatians

Loves to cuddle up in warm blankets

He has a habit of grinding his teeth so his pacifiers help him a lot 

It also helps him whenever he needs a smoke

Or when he needs to bite his lips

Likes bubble baths

His favorite scent to use is lavender :)

Unlike when he's in big headspace he doesn't try and break the rules because when he used to his past caregiver gave him harsh punishments

The first person from the gang he came out to was Ponyboy

One day Ponyboy had to go to Buck's place and while he was in Dallas' room saw Lilac

When he asked him about it Dallas was going to make an excuse but just decided to tell Ponyboy about it

Ponyboy told him he wasn't gonna tell anyone and he kept his word

He kept telling Dallas to tell the gang for a week

It took him a lot to tell the gang he was a little

They all had mixed reactions

All of them were very confused until he explained what it is

(Except for Ponyboy of course)

Darry started to feel more protective over him 

Johnny was surprised because he didn't think of all people Dallas would ever be a little but he was cool with it as long as it helps him

Sodapop is actually really happy about it and he wouldn't mind playing with him when he's in little space

Steve was a little uncomfortable knowing that the reckless hood was a little but he came to accept it

Everyone was waiting for Two-Bit to respond but all of a sudden he just walked out the door without saying anything

Dallas was on the verge of a panic attack and it took awhile for the gang to calm him down

It wasn't until later when Two-Bit came back but this time with a bunch of stuff

He'd gotten Dallas a stuffed animal, bottles, and even a fluffy blanket

Dallas almost started crying ngl

At the end of the day he was just happy his only family accepted him (#supportivegang2020)

When he's in little space the gang tries their best not to smoke or drink around him

On Sundays when they're all not busy they'll watch Disney movies together

One or two of the gang members is alway with him when they're out in public 

With The Gang:

Ponyboy:

Ponyboy reads to Dally whenever he sees him having a bad day or getting nervous 

Whenever Ponyboy reads to him Dallas either has his head in his lap while Ponyboy occasionally runs his hand through his hair or has his head on his shoulder 

On the occasion Dallas tags along with Ponyboy to the library and sometimes picks out a random book he finds interesting or Ponyboy would like and show it to him

Secretly he hopes that Ponyboy would read it out loud to him 

Darry and Soda won't allow him to go to Buck's but if Dallas calls and says he needs him he will not hesitate to go out the door to care for his boyfriend

 If Ponyboy has track Dallas waits for him until it's over

Going to the lot has become a weekly thing for them

When Dallas isn't looking Ponyboy would sneak in a paper that has a poem on it in either his jackets or his pants

Since Dallas never really went to school he has a hard time reading huge words or some so when he's reading over Ponyboy's shoulder he'll ask him

"What's that word?"

"This one?"

"Yeah."

"Absquatulate?"

"Oh." 

Ponyboy finds it fucking adorable

Sodapop:

Sodapop would take him to Dairy Queen and get sundaes and park somewhere with a nice view or park in the parking lot and watch the cars go by

Dallas often goes to the DX and wait until his shift is over 

Sometimes Sodapop will randomly put his hat on Dallas

Whenever girls try and flirt with Sodapop, Dallas either gives them a death state or tell them to fuck off and say he's taken

 When Dallas starts crying Soda will wipe away his tears with his thumbs and kiss his cheeks

Jokingly gave Dallas a promise ring he found somewhere not expecting him to actually wear it but was surprised when he saw it on Dallas' finger

If they're at a party sometimes Soda wanders off but once he sees how uncomfortable Dallas he is he's immediately back at his side

Ponyboy and Darry have walked in on them cuddling on the couch SO MANY TIMES

One time they walked in on them making out heavily Darry had to cover Ponyboy's eyes

Sodapop thinks Dallas looks H O T in his flannels

Darry:

Dallas would always steal borrow Darry's shirt because he feels comforted by it whenever Darry's at work

He absolutely loves it when Darry wraps his arms around him and would always snuggle closer to his chest

(If you really think I'm gonna let Patrick Swayze's singing voice go to waste you're very mistaken)

Whenever he's having a hard time sleeping Darry would usually sing to him until he falls back asleep

Or when Dallas is on edge Darry will hold him close to his chest and sing to him softly until he feels calm again 

Dallas loves Darry's morning voice because it's so low and low key a turn on

When they're out in public Darry would hook his finger around Dallas' belt loops on his jeans to keep him close to him

Some people don't fuck with Dallas as much because they know if they do they'll have to deal with Darry and no one wants to do that unless they have a death wish

If Dallas starts acting up in public all it takes is for Darry to whisper in his ear "behave" 

Darry once talked about the type of flowers his mom liked and kept in the house then a few days later when he got off work he saw the flowers he was talking about in a vase on the dining table with a paper attached saying "Don't ask where I got the flowers and vase"

He almost started crying right then and there

When Dallas is drunk he'll cling to either Darry's chest or back like a koala

One time one of the gang walked in on Darry cooking while Dallas just clung to his back but they didn't say anything in fear of waking up with their dick cut off

Johnny:

Surprisingly Johnny gets protective over 

He will now hesitate to throw down when someone starts talking crap about them

If they're out in public Johnny's always holding Dallas' hand 

Or if they're at the Curtis' Johnny would glance at Dallas every so often to see if he's okay

They both helped each other let their walls down 

When Johnny sees Dallas on edge or not at his best he nudges his head against his shoulder or on his face in hopes of cheering him up (it works more often than he thought it would but he ain't complaining)

 Johnny sometimes shows Dallas some of his favorite places around town

They've fallen asleep in the lot cuddled next to one another multiple times

Johnny tops Dallas sorry not sorry

Sharing cigarettes like kisses

Johnny mindlessly puts his arm in front of Dallas whenever someone's trying to pick a fight

Everytime Dallas talks bad about himself Johnny will be like not on my watch and will do everything and anything to make Dallas feel better

Dallas has a hard time sleeping at night knowing Johnny's with his parents

3AM conversations about the what ifs of life

Two-Bit:

Two-Bit will crack jokes to Dallas when they're alone together about how much of a softie he really is

But if anyone else made fun of Dally he'd beat the literal shit out of them

Also tells bad pick up lines to him even though they're already boyfriends

"Do you have a name? Or can I call you mine?"

Dallas would usually say something back but would low key be blushing

Always trying to make Dallas laugh because he loves it when he does

Would totally smack Dallas' ass in front of the gang

 Respects Dallas' boundaries when he's not feeling it

Ms. Mathews is actually really fond of Dallas 

His sister gave him the whole "hurt my brother and I'll hunt you down" talk

He didn't take it seriously but he keeps it in the back of his head

Dallas is the only one to see Two-Bit's hair without grease and he will play with his hair for hours on end

Two-Bit once fell asleep to Dallas playing with his hair and when he woke up he was still doing it

If they're watching Mickey Mouse Dallas is always on Two-Bit's lap

When he sees Dallas upset he'll do voice impressions of random people (Dallas finds it stupid but it always lightens his mood)

Steve:

Whenever Dallas' on the verge of having a breakdown Steve will drive Dallas around town to calm down

Soft music would be playing in the background while Steve either rubs Dallas' thighs or hold his hand

Dallas would run his finger around Steve's tattoo whenever they're cuddling

Dallas loves laying his head on Steve's chest because it's both soft and muscular 

When he does Steve softly plays with his hair

Whenever he leaves for work he wraps his shirt or jacket around him so Dallas could sleep better

Steve is really observant so whenever he sees something wrong with Dallas he always asks if he's okay

Will glare at anyone who's eyeing his Dallas

Never ever takes his anger out on Dallas

(God will have to fight him if he does)

Dates at the drive in movies and later eating at the diner

They'd always park where they won't get noticed so they can sneak in a few make out sessions here and there ;)

When they go to the diner Dallas kinda feels bad because Steve's always paying for their meals but he always reassures him it's okay

Him and Dallas constantly flirt when he visits the DX

Sodapop finds it amusing and annoying but as long as his best friend is happy he couldn't give a shit

~

Please reblog or comment!

 Let me know if you want to see more and if you'd like any to be turned into a short fic 

Also huge shout out to @lastluvbug​ for helping me come up with most of these ideas! (Thank you for saving my braincells)

[thegreenfairy13]

Mr. Van Dahl’s Double Life - Part 8

Jim and Oz have been secretly married for years, fooling all of Gotham. One day Jim decides to come out of the closet. Oswald isn’t thrilled and Jim suffers the consequences. Read it on Ao3. 

Jim isn’t quite sure whether he should continue glaring furiously at his husband, strangle him, or wrap him into his arms while telling him everything is going to be alright.

At last, he settles for anger. It’s anyway his most common reaction to literally everything since coming to Gotham. He’s angry at his job, at the criminals, at his colleagues, at the politicians, at his ex-fiancées, and in a more general sense: at the entire world.

“How the hell could you keep that from me?!” the detective explodes, already knowing the answer. It might have something to do with his reaction.

“I,” Oswald licks his lips nervously while getting up into a sitting position. Having an argument is never pleasant. Having an argument while lying on your back with your belly bared is even less favorable.

“I wouldn’t have thought you’d approve,” the gangster answers honestly.

“Damn right you are,” Jim growls in response. “You and your God complex. First, you think you are entitled to control all the crime in Gotham by handing out licenses and now you are the lord of life and death as well.”

“Oh, stop it with the licenses,” the mobster sighs, exasperated. “You love them and they got me re-elected as mayor.”

That’s quite true but that doesn’t mean he’s going to cave in. As Oswald insists on keeping up pretenses, he’s forced to arrest gangsters with a license. Well, at least those who don’t play by the Penguin’s rules. Ironically, Gotham became a better place by establishing a system of maximum corruption.

“You still have a God complex,” Jim huffs while folding his arms across his chest.

“So you actually would have preferred for Nygma to kill me?” Oswald inquires, fixing his husband with a severe stare.

“I would have preferred you being honest with me,” the cop snaps back. Getting up, Jim snatches his clothes from the floor and walks to the bathroom. He really needs a moment to himself else this will only become a screaming match neither of them is willing to lose.

Standing under the spray, Jim tries to pin down what exactly he is upset about. It’s not like he’s ungrateful not to be dead. That’s not the issue. The part in which he’s practically immortal - well, Jim can’t quite wrap his head around that just yet.

Also, he isn’t mad about Ozzie still being alive. Quite the contrary. Even imagining his husband, this snarky, cheeky, violent, bigheaded creature, not breathing anymore, takes the breath from his lungs.

The underlying problem with him and Oswald was and always is the same: their lack of trust. The kingpin of Gotham doesn’t let him in on his plans, hardly ever discusses his vision for the city with Jim, or even admits openly being with him.

Maybe it’s because Jim is still, at his core, a just man. He considers most of the Penguin’s methods excessive. Not only once did he try stopping his husband from completing his revenge or committing murder - often much to Oswald’s dismay. And admitted, letting some of their enemies walk away would often turn out to be a bad decision in the future.

Like this whole Nygma debacle. When finding out about Ed’s machinations considering the Red Hood Gang Ozzie wanted to deal with him in his own fashion. Jim convinced him to let the mentally ill man walk away and what happened? Right, his husband got shot in the guts.

Oswald loves Jim’s ethics but at the same time, he mistrusts him for being who he is. Yet by now, he should understand how the Penguin always would be the exception to any of Jim’s rules.

He should trust him by now. Loving someone or feeling the urge to protect your partner isn’t enough. Jim needs his psycho murder birdie to trust him but instead, he keeps enormous secrets from him.

Inconsiderately, he talked about divorce when all he wants is a functioning relationship and not this train-wreck. Of course, it’s his fault too. He never called Ozzie out on how he treated their marriage, never told him he would always find a way to ignore his violent outbursts. Jim always thought his actions would speak for themselves.

Turns out, the crime-lord doesn’t even trust him enough to tell him about the precautions he took in case one of them would die. It’s disheartening, to say the least.

Jim almost expects Oswald to be gone when returning from his shower. Yet the mobster is still there, lying naked under the covers, waiting for Jim to come back.  

Sometimes Jim wonders how their life would have turned out if they had stayed at odds. Would the city be as quiet as it is? Would they both have found another love? Would they even be alive or would they have at one point gunned each other down? Would he have arrested Oswald one day and put him behind bars for good? Could he?

He doesn’t want to think about it, honestly. The city blossoms under the Penguin’s reign and the price for that had only been for Jim to sacrifice a chunk of his morality while gaining this. It’s not a bad deal, everything considered.

“What else are you keeping from me?” Jim demands to know, tilting his chin slightly.

Oswald’s eyes are closed, he isn’t even looking at Jim. “Too much,” he admits with a heavy sigh, breaking Jim’s heart a bit further.

But here goes nothing. If he wants to save their marriage, he needs to press Oswald for answers or they truly might end up being enemies again. Not that he can even imagine how going up against his husband would turn out. The city would probably suffer considerably with the balance they had established gone.

“Why?” he asks, keeping his voice soft. Jim can be gentle when he wants. He’s anyway sick of being this rough, tough soldier.

Rolling onto the side, Oswald finally faces Jim. He shrugs. “I always loved you for being what you are. That idealistic, naive young man who came to Gotham to clean it up. I guess I only ever wanted to protect you.”

The detective can’t help but snort. That’s just so Oswald. He has a habit of ruining what he cares about the most. When it comes to what he loves, he’s seemingly unable to make good decisions.

“I haven’t been this young boy in a very long time. Maybe you just like the memory of who I was on the day we met,” Jim suggests.

“Maybe,” Oswald admits with a sad smile.

“I married you,” the cop reminds him. “Knowing full well you are a murderous, cunning, little weasel. I loved you anyway,” he adds when Oswald’s mouth hardens. “I thought that would be proof enough for you to trust me.”

“I never wanted you to be anyone else than who you had been,” the criminal tells Jim. “Who you are,” he corrects himself.

“Yeah, but you always wanted you to be my exception, right?” the cop urges. “And tell you what, you are. So stop keeping secrets, stop protecting me from truths you think I can’t handle.”

Oswald stays silent.

“I know who you are,” Jim carries on. “We never talk about it, but I have a very good idea about what you do. And I turn a blind eye to it. Constantly. I’m not a that bad cop I wouldn’t know about most of your machinations. I thought you would trust me by now.”

“If you knew everything you’d get a divorce and throw me into Blackgate,” Oswald replies, seemingly nonchalant. The way he tenses gives him away though. He’s anything but relaxed.

“Maybe for once you should try me,” Jim suggests. “You married me too,” he whispers.

“I remember,” he answers dryly. He’s driving Jim insane with his attitude. It’s the reason he fell for him. “Would you have ever considered immortality if I hadn’t made this decision for both of us?” Oswald asks.

“No,” Jim answers honestly. “But I guess I would have moved heaven, earth, and hell to bring you back from the dead if our roles had been reversed.”

Oswald’s pupils widen in surprise at this revelation. “What?” Jim snaps. “Did you ever doubt I love you? I might be not alright with what you do and how you do it but I’d die for you. I live for you. I get beaten up by Zsasz every week to keep up appearances.”

The cop snorts. “I tried telling you the entire week. I want us to be together. But I can’t trust you if you go behind my back. And you don’t trust me enough to be open with me.”

The mobster on the bed nods. “Jim, I’m a murderer who runs a criminal empire. And you are a cop who is alright with that because I brought stability to this city that is so very precious to the both of us. But what I do, is exactly what you swore to stop when coming here.”

“And you think I’m not aware of that?”

“I still wait for the day you are not only aware but truly realize that,” Oswald whispers back. “That will be the day our relationship ends,” he continues, unaware of the tears streaming down his face. “It might not be today - or tomorrow. But the day will come. And when this day comes, you will be grateful our marriage had been kept a secret.”

Jim’s mouth drops open. He knew Oswald had been trying to protect him by keeping their marriage a secret. Now, he has to learn he’s thinking years ahead. He’s not only protecting him from their enemies - with decidedly questionable methods, but also from himself. If they should really go separate ways, his integrity would still be intact. The very integrity Jim is dead set on destroying.

The anger slowly drains from him. Maybe they do have a true chance after all that mess.

Clearing his throat, Jim walks over to the man he agreed to spend his life with. A life that is going to be a pretty long one now.

“Oz, look at me,” he demands, gently tilting the criminal’s chin up. “I am very aware. But I, we, can’t continue like that. I am not ashamed of us being together. I might not like everything you do but I accept it. You are my exception to all of my rules and I think it’s not me who’s got a problem with realizations but you.”

Oswald’s awe-stricken expression speaks volumes. The gangster’s eyes fill with tears as he wraps his bony arms around Jim’s middle. Head pillowed in Jim’s lap, they stay like that for a while as the cop keeps rubbing circles up and down his husband’s spine.

It’s not ideal, it’s not alright, but they have all of eternity to sort their problems out and Jim is willing to roll with it.

“Can we leave the basement now, please ?” he grumbles when Oswald finally relaxes entirely under his touch.

Between the tears, he hears a muffled laugh. “Of course, darling.”

Jim sighs in relief. Talking about his feelings has never been his forte and he truly hopes such a lengthy conversation won’t be necessary for the next fifty years or more.

[theyrecalledharbularybatteries]

Betrayal In The Most Affectionate Form

Ask: Could I request one for Peter Parker? Where he is dating a Steve Rodgers daughter, but then she gets killed in a battle and a few years later, the avengers find out she is alive and is apart of a psychopathic killer gang.

For @crimsonredcoco

Pairing: Peter Parker x Female!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of blood, cursing, suicidal thoughts, grief, and destitution

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It had been two years. Two years, and he still hadn’t gotten over it. Two years since he had watched her get shot down, a gaping hole in her side. Two years since he wholeheartedly abandoned the battle to go cradle her head while she died, and two years since he had to be dragged away from her body with half of the Avengers struggling to hold on to him. It felt like an eternity. 

He didn’t talk about it with anyone, not even Steve. Because the last time he tried to bring it up, he had been punched in the face. And honestly, he’d deserved it. She is his daughter after all- was his daughter. And everyday he blamed himself for what’d happened to her, everyday he saw Steve walk around with that same weight. It had been a long time since he’d last verbally blamed Peter for her death, in a raging fit complete with tears and glass throwing. Tony had been so pissed about that there was almost another civil war. It hurt him so much.

 She was always smiling, alway up for anything. She was alway giggling, and she wasn’t afraid to contradict her father’s sometimes over the top patriotism. She was perfect in every way, and nobody could bring themselves to dislike her. She had bonded with each and every avenger in some shape or form, sometimes comforting them after a lost battle or laughing with them over the most random of things. He’d be lying if he said that everyone couldn’t feel the burden of the loss. But he knew her inside and out, and he knew that even if he’d been there to stop her from coming to that battle she’d find a way. She was selfless and pure, and she did not deserve to die.

 God damnit he had loved her. It should’ve have been him, and he knew Aunt May always said don’t make deals with the devil, but if it’d get her back he would sell the universe for her.

 It should’ve been him.

And now he went into every battle with reckless abandon. Often times turning off his earpiece and just doing what he felt in combat, because what did it matter if he died. It would only bring him closer to Y/N. 

So into another battle he went, not even bothering to put extra protection on his suit. Ignoring the various pleas of his partners he turned his earpiece off. The silence became deafening.

 Now, he knew he was in the hole when even Loki became concerned for him. Normally aloof and distant when it came to the personal problems of the other Avengers, he had come to Peter’s room multiple time trying in futile attempts to get the young man to eat; to live. At first Steve had refused to look at him, always blaming him for the death of his only daughter. Even a sincere, long hug from Tony couldn’t lift his spirits. He had tried to understand that they were hurting too, but they couldn’t possibly know how he ached inside. How everyday he laid in his bed, skin crawling eyes open wide. Every time they shut he could see her, and she was giving him that sad smile she had given him as the light faded from her eyes. A mixture of thick, red blood, sweat, and his tears plattered across her face. He could hear her scolding him, telling him to live his life. But what was life without her, what was anything without her?

What was he, without her?

So he did what every heartbroken superhero would do, he took it out on the enemy. Slashing visciously at various combatants. He hadn’t bothered with instant kill mode, because it felt good to hurt. To make people feel a fraction of what his triturated heart felt every second since he had left her body in the abandoned parking lot two years ago. He was in the middle of fighting another enemy. Various shouts from Tony to turn his earpiece on went to the harsh winds.

But above all the commotion he could vaguely hear Steve shout something. 

“TONY,” he’d yelled, voice lowering in annoyance and pain, “GET YOUR KID BEFORE HE GETS SOMEONE ELSE KILLED!”

 Peter understood, he deserved that. So he had no problems with taking all the pain and anger he received from Rogers out on his opponent. Sending a forceful roundhouse kick into their face, they let out a warbled shout skidding across the tarmac.

He was beginning to get tired of parking lots.

“Come on man, that's no way to treat a lady.” her voice soared above all the noise, and into his ear. He could see Steve pause too, and turn.

 Against his better judgement he peeled the mask off his sweating, bleeding face. 

“You look like shit. I’ve missed you though, adorable little thing, you are,” she giggled taking her hood off. 

“HOLY FUCK,” he cursed, Steve didn’t bother to chastise him.

Both of them sprinted over to her, eager to reach her; hold her. Upon coming an arms length away Peter felt a sharp pain in his ribcage and he saw Steve go flying as well. He heard her beautiful, hearty laugh ring out just as he hit the ground. 

Bucky’s face twisted in horrid recognition as he went to pick Steve up.

 “Let go of me Bucky! Let go that’s my daughter I need to get to her.”

 “Steve we all love her, but she’s under someone’s control can’t you tell. We can’t get near her.”

 “LET GO OF ME,” Steve roared, and Y/N just laughed in the background. Her laugh was loud and held none of the normal warmth it had. Hearty, but heartless.

Peter stood up, brushing himself off and walking towards her mumbled randomness under his breath. After years and years of grief, he’d be damned if he couldn’t touch her. 

“Y/N is that really you?”

“In the flesh Peter,” she lifted her shirt up to reveal a jagged scar lacing her side like one of the fancy dresses he’d seen Aunt May wear before.

“What happened?”

“Oohh,” she frowned maniacally, “I appreciate the attempted causerie love, but that information is classified,” she said in a taunting sing song voice.

“PETER DON’T TOUCH HER,” he could vaguely register Bucky yelling at him, he really did not care. 

But it was too late, he had already laid a gentle, but shaky hand on her waist.

That’s when his world went black.

***

When he came to he was alone, pretty much naked(save for his boxers) on a cold, wet floor. HIs hands were bound behind his back, and he could feel his body healing various wounds he hadn’t had before. A needle wound blatant and throbbing in his arm. He was miserable.

Lost and found then lost again. If he didn’t wish for death before, he sure did now. He knew he could easily break out of the shackled he was currently bound in, but if there was a chance he was going to die here he’d take it. 

“I really did miss you, you know. For the whole year I pined for you, I begged for them to leave you alone, to leave all of you alone. And they used me, I made a deal with the devil. And it was the best mistake I’ve ever made. I get to help people, by killing other people. What a stress reliever let me tell you,” her voice came out of the dark, shortly followed by her body. She looked just as she always did in comfortable house clothes, but she sounded so different.

 “This isn’t you, this isn’t the person I fell in love with. Not at all,” he felt some blood trickle down his chin, thick and metallic tasting. He spat it out on the floor, catching the raised eyebrow she threw at him. “The Y/N I know was perfect in every way, she had trouble killing a fly. She never wanted to hurt anyone, she would never use anyone. She was smart, kind, and beautiful, and loyal. And she loved me, and I loved her more, more than anything. You’re not her, your’re not her,” his voice faded into a pained mumble.

“Aww you’re such a sweetheart.” she shook her head softly, trying to shake away a nagging feeling; recognition, maybe.

“What are you gonna do? Kill me?” Peter moaned as she pressed a foot into his bruise. 

“Tempus fugit, that’s our motto when it comes to executions. It will be quick and painless, but the Avengers will mourn at the loss of not one but two of their young members. And in their distress, they will be vulnerable easy to defeat.”

“Whoever brainwashed you must be fucking stupid, because pain only fuels the Avengers. And if you were really Y/N you would know that.” 

“I’m not brainwashed, but if there’s anyone who does brainwashing around here you’re about to meet him,” the air left Peter’s lungs as she kicked his legs out from under him, and another hand grabbed him roughly by his shoulder; dragging him. He wished it was her though, because at least he’d die with her touch still warm on his skin. 

Love had killed him peeled him apart and made him insane. He wondered if Steve felt the same.

 “Let go of me you shitfaced myrmidon,” he rasped out, not feeling the strength to make his voice strong. 

“Let the girl hold him, he’ll obey her,” he felt the rough, sweaty grip dissipate, and an equally painful grip grab his hair. He fought back the urge to lean into it. He was a lost cause, and apparently everyone knew it. 

“Now you know that you’re a crucial part of our plan, so you can die feeling helpful. Something I’m sure the Avengers never made apparent enough,” he didn’t even try to argue with him. “Well, he didn’t put up much of a fight which is good, let’s go with the beheading. It’s quick, painless, and boy will the Avengers be shocked when they receive that package,” the mysterious voice cackled with laughter. It made him sick.”Take good aim Rogers, it will be easier,” he seemed to be trying to find a way to placate Peter, but it was not working. 

She looked him in the eyes as she picked up the shotgun and aimed it in between his eyes, prepared to blow his brains out…

He watched her slender fingers load the gun, and cock it. She smirked at the mysterious voice, he assumed it was a person because she seemed to make eye contact. 

Peter Parker was sure he was going to die, and even though he had been wishing for death for two years it all felt so surreal.

He embraced it with open arms.

“When I say run. Run.”

 Peter’s eyes snapped open and went straight up to her face, and he saw the warmth return to her eyes and the smile on her full lips. His breath caught in his throat. I love you she mouthed, and he could feel the empty hole inside of him fill up. I love you too he responded, hot tears spilling from over his eyelids.

So, he fought back the biggest grin he had ever fought back in his life and put his head down. Then he heard a gunshot, and a man crumpled to the ground. The mysterious voice.

“Come on Peter we gotta blast!” she watched impatiently as he broke out of the chains and grabbed her hand; strength renewed. They sprinted through a dark, damp tunnel towards dim street light. Now he was in the lead, pretty much dragging her. In the Greek myth about Orpheus and Eurydice the poor man lost the love of his life just by looking at her while they were escaping the underworld. And sure, that was a myth, but he was pretty sure they just escaped from hell and he was terrified to glance back at her for fear that she’d just disappear.

But when they broke free into the dimly lit street light he grabbed her face and kissed her, he kissed her like he’d never kissed anyone before. And neither of them seemed to care about the fact that their kiss tasted like blood, sweat, and dirt. 

Because he loved her, and sure, she’d betrayed him. But it was betrayal in the most affectionate form, and he could live with it.

And they could live. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Alright love, there’s your one shot and I hope you enjoyed it. I know my writing isn’t the best, and that the plot is bad, I tried my best, I swear. Feel free to tell me if I did badly, because I really do appreciate feedback. 

Lookout for some more one shots coming your way guys, more crappy writing whOopS.

Oh, and because I’m just answering the ask with a one shot, let me know If you’d like to be tagged in the answer. That’s absolutely optional, but of course you know that.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Genesis OCs

In the middle decades of the 21st century, explosive events occur that gives some of the world’s population superpowers. One such person is David Paine, who was rendered homeless by the event and due to his power being a Wolverine-esque healing factor, he found himself unable to die before finally finding shelter in a brothel/safehouse for empowered young women. Years after finding this new home, he soon has to protect it when someone from his past shows up in his life and a superpowered supremacist begins to make moves against the city and its people.

Finally got at least SOME stuff about these OCs written down. Kinda weird when I think about this story, it’s almost a dark contrast to Six Shots. 

HEROES

David Paine

Once your average teenager, David’s life was turned upside down when his home and family were seemingly destroyed during the Genesis Event. Surviving due to the event giving him a healing factor, David was rendered depressed, homeless, and suicidal; he would often wake up in the morgue, especially during winter. This all changed when he pulled himself together and began protecting people on the street, which led to him saving one of the sex workers who lived in Mac’s safe house. Mac soon gave David a home, and he has lived there ever since, protecting the girl’s living there from harm as well as finding love in the form of Alice.

6’, dark brown hair, blue-grey eyes, white, heterosexual.

Unlike many healing factors in fiction, his works even if his head is separated from the body. In such an event, his body will move on its own in an attempt to get the head back. During this period, his headless body has increased strength and speed, though it will only continue moving for an hour before collapsing, at which point the head needs to be brought over to the neck by an outside source to heal.

He almost always looks exhausted.

He’s a very calm guy, and it takes a lot to make him angry.

He is 27 years old.

Ashley Walker

David’s ex-girlfriend from high school, Ashley fell in with the wrong crowd, leading for David to part ways with her. Caught up in the Genesis Event, she gained fire powers, though this came with s ome unexpected side effects. She mainly used her powers to commit petty crimes, and hung out with unsavory folks, though part of her desperately wishes her life could get better.

5’6”, black hair, green eyes, white.

Her powers act much like any other pyrokineetic character in fiction, but if she exerts herself too much in too short of a time, she “burns out” and transforms into a 7’ tall charred skeletal monster known as “Ashwalker.”

She has a bit of a temper.

She’s kind of stubborn.

She regrets a lot of her criminal actions over the past ten years. However, she’d never say it willingly.

She has always been in to goth and punk subcultures.

She is 27 years old.

Alice Doe

A mysterious young woman. One night, she appeared bleeding on Mac’s doorstep; he took her in and he and the girl’s helped nurse her back to help. She doesn’t remember anything about her past, or how she became injured, and she seems to be nothing but an average young woman, albeit a bit pale and sickly.

5’8”, long black hair, very pale, dark blue eyes.

She has frequent dizzy spells.

She’s very sweet, perceptive, and patient.

She is 25 years old.

Mac Palmer

Once part of an average family, Mac’s life was turned upside down after the Genesis Event, which led to his brother being killed by a pimp in the ensuing gang activity that erupted during the chaos. Mac, unaware of his new powers, accidentally killed the pimp. He soon discovered said pimp had been gathering up girls with powers in the weeks after the Event, planning on using them to please himself and clients. Deciding to offer them help, he converted the pimp’s hideout into a safe house for at-risk young women with superpowers, though he allowed anyone who wanted to continue doing sex work to do so. He keeps up a front of being a hardcore pimp to keep away those who would do the girls harm, and he has David help keep them safe when he’s not busy protecting the rest of the streets.

He is 5’9”, black, black hair, brown eyes.

He is bisexual.

His power allows him to focus incredible strength and force, but only through his right arm. While normally a weakness, he works out to ensure his other arm is at least of peak normal human strength just in case.

He really enjoys watching old Nickelodeon cartoons.

He wanted to be a veterinarian, but he put this on hold to keep the girls safe.

He was frequently an Honor Roll student in school.

He is 30 years old.

CRIMINALS: THE UNDERWORLD

Piper the Rat King

One of Ashley’s old friends, and a renowned empowered individual in the underworld.

Piper has the ability to control rodents, though he is most fond of rats. With his psychic link he can command them to perform actions they normally would not on their own, as well as boost their power.

He is gay.

He is mute.

He is a huge fan of the band Ghost.

He wears a green hooded cape to keep his identity hidden.

He is 5’7”, black hair, and yellow eyes.

Sebastian Darke

Piper’s bodyguard and his lover.

He is 6’6” and very thin.

He is albino.

He has the power to move through and hide in shadows.

He’s very stoic.

He almost always wears sunglasses.

CRIMINALS: THE FULL DECK GANG

Based at least partially on the Royal Flush gang.

Suicide King

A superpowered criminal and leader of the Full Deck gang. His real name is Rex Hart.

Suicide King has the power to instantly reappear somewhere nearby after dying, leaving behind his corpse. Said corpse turns into a bomb and will explode shortly after he reappears. He is entirely immune to his own explosions.

He wears an outfit that can only be described as a red-and-black straightjacket (obviously the arms are not tied)

Before getting his powers, he suffered from suicidal depression. Getting his powers and finding out he actually couldn’t die now drove him crazy.

In reality, the above is just a cover story used to garner sympathy and get his gang viewed as counter-culture anti-heroes; in actuality, Suicide King is a sick, sadistic monster who revels in the murder and mayhem he causes.

Dancing Queen

A member of the Full Deck gang.

She is an expert dancer in nearly all styles.

She has the ability to perform powerful attacks via her dancing.

She needs to consume a ridiculous amount of calories a day, as each and every attack consumes a large chunk of calories and can leave her weak if she isn’t careful.

Her real name is Anna Beatrix Belinda Armandi.

Jack the Ripper

A member of the Full Deck gang.

His real name is Jack Tripper.

His power has given him razor-sharp knives for fingers. They appear to be made of some sort of metal and are hard to break; if they do, he can regrow them.

He was a violent misanthrope even before he got his powers, being involved in numerous debacles when he was still in school.

Joker’s Wild

A member of the Full Deck gang.

His power is the ability to alter the perception of anyone around them, causing them to see his movements as erratic and nonsensical; in other words, he extremely disorients his victims without them realizing it.

He is incredibly flexibile.

His real name is Joseph Carwylde. 

Ace in the Hole

A member of the Full Deck gang.

He wears a mask that makes his face seem to be entirely blank. He also always wears gloves, and is rumored to have burned his fingerprints away.

He has the power to generate portals that allow him and allies to pass through solid objects.

His real name is Dodger Holyfield. 

CRIMINALS: GANGS - OTHER

Nora Hawking

A tough girl who was forced to grow up on the streets after her parents vanished and she had nowhere else to go. Despite this and her dangerous powers, she tries to stay as upbeat as possible. She leads a street gang known as the Deathhawks. 

Her power is to drain out the lifeforce of anyone she touches with her bare hands, similar to Rogue. She has very little control over this ability. 

She’s mixed race, half black, half Latina.

She tris to stay upbeat and positive, but she’s still very much hurting.

She started a street gang so that she could always be surounded by people even if she can never touch them.

She’s 5′8″ with black hair and green eyes.

She is 19 years old.

Scout Sawner 

A former Boy Scout, he formed a radical Neo Nazi street gang shortly before the Genesis Event. His gang, known as the Pure Scouts, frequently clashes with the Deathawks.

He has X-Ray vision as well as enhanced sight, able to focus his vision to see far away people and objects. However, he needs to stand still to use any of these powers.

He is bisexual, but he frequently tries to suppress his urges. This has led to him raping and murdering many of his gang’s targets.

He is skilled at using hatchets and axes.

He is 5′8″, with brown hair and blue eyes.

Lady Raptor

A British woman and one of the most renowned gang leaders in the worldwide criminal underworld. Essentially the Godfather of gangs, being under her protection is what any gang should want. Her gang is known as the Illuminati, and they have agents all over the world.

She has the power to shapeshift into a giant, vicious reptilian monster that stands at 8′7″, has razor-sharp teeth and claws, and enhanced regenerative abilities. She has increased strength and durability even when not in her lizard form.

Her real name is Lyn Icke; she inherited the gang from her mother, and was raised since birth to take it over. She reverted to her mother’s name - McDowell - after her mother died, but occasionally uses hr father’s last name for undercover work.

She rarely wears shoes, as they would only be destroyed when she transforms. She tends to wear tanktops or very stretchy clothes so that she is not naked when she transforms back. She tends to wear a black trenchcoat over everything.

She is 5′7″, red hir, and green eyes.

She is in actuality a “neccesary evil,” a terrifying force to keep even worse criminals from rising to power, and works together with world governments.

Her powers are based on the Hulk and Lizard.

CRIMINALS: SERIAL KILLERS AND MURDERERS 

Skinwolf

One of the first superpowered criminals David fought after finding his new home.

His power is to be able to slit people’s skin, take it off, and wear it as his own.

His real name is Skinner Lobos.

He is a sadistic serial killer, though sometimes he gets lost in his victim’s lives for days at a time.

He is partially based on the Batman villain Jane Doe.

CHILDREN OF THE GENESIS

Lucius Bright

The son of a preacher, Lucius Bright grew up with a strong belief in God, and set out to do great things in the world. However, hardships struck; his father was killed in a hate crime, and he began to feel lost without him. Wanting to do something good in the world, he adopted several troubled children who had nowhere else to go. All of these children were caught up in the Genesis event.

Bright saw this as a sign from God. Recalling the cruelty that ended his father’s life, Bright seeks to create a world where those with great power such as himself  keep the world safe and protected. For ten years he and his remaining orphans trained so that they could bring about his vision: a world where people can understand their powers and live in harmony with those without powers. However, his peace and love style of teaching may not work with everyone.

He is 66 years old.

He is 6’2”, black, and has hazel eyes.

He is fluent in many languages, particularly French.

He is incredibly intelligent.

He has a strong appreciation for ancient cultures and their mythology.

He is heavily based on Samuel L. Jackson characters such as Elijah Price, Valentine, etc.

He has the power to manipulate light, meaning he can fire lasers, create illumination, and so on. However, to maximize the effectiveness of his power he needs to absorb light beforehand.

Kitty Olsen

One of the children from the Genesis Event.

She has the power of movement synchronization. If she is able to make consistent, direct eye contact with someone for five seconds, their movements become synched and Kitty mirrors everything they do for up to an hour. As long as she is synched with someone, any sort of damage that Kitty would take from the person she is synched with appears on that person instead. However, once she is synchronized she is incapable of de-synching until enough time passes.

She is 5’6”, brunette, blue-gray eyes.

She is a bit snarky, snide, and condescending.

She is 25 years old.

Babette Bonheur

One of the children. She was adopted when her parents died shortly after immigrating to America.

She is 5’5”, red hair, blue eyes, white.

She is French. She still has an accent despite not having lived there since she was little.

Babette is a very skilled artist, and can draw very well with just about anything.

Babette has the power to bring her drawings to life. Anything she draws she can make ‘real,’ in a manner of speaking; the living drawings only live for an hour at a time, and can be destroyed by water rather easily.

She is 16 years old. She was adopted shortly before the Genesis Event, about four months prior to it.

Bright is closest to her; he learned French specifically so he could help Babette keep that part of her heritage alive.

She spends a lot of time with Allen.

She is gay, though she doesn’t realize it.

Allen Lecarde

One of the children; he was impaled by several glass shards, but his inherent power coupled with energy from the blood dripping from a dying friend healed him.

He is 6’, with long black hair, red eyes, and very pale skin.

His power is similar to that of a traditional vampire; he has enhanced strength, speed, and regenerative abilities but he must feed on human blood to power himself. Interestingly, if he drinks the blood of someone with powers, he gains their power in a weakened form. His friend who died, for instance, had psychic powers, and getting his blood gave him the ability to speak into others minds as well as read thoughts. He still needs to eat and drink as a normal human, but he becomes extremely weak if he does not drink blood; currently, he is rather thin and a bit sickly as he has actively fought against his urges.

He is very close with Babette.

He is often quiet and brooding.

He is extremely persuasive.

He is 20 years old.

Bright has not allowed him to purposefully feed in a long time, insisting that Allen try and suppress his dangerous urges. This has made Allen rather bitter towards his adoptive father.

Jazz

One of Bright’s children.

Jazz has shapeshifting as their power.

Jazz is genderfluid and goes alternately by Jasper or Jasmine depending on what gender body they currently are shifted into. Most of their friends just call them Jazz, a s it is a gender-neutral nickname.

Jazz has shapeshifted so much since getting their power that they have started to forget what they were originally and have started suffering from identity crisis and depressive episodes.

Jazz is very melancholy.

They are 21 years old.

OTHER CHARACTERS

Davy Jones

Considered to be little more than an urban legend, Davy Jones is in fact real. During the Genesis Event, a man named Dave Bowie was caught in the blast and launched into the bay, where he drowned. His body fell into a seaweed bed, which somehow absorbed the power he would have been granted and took over his body. The seaweed, now in control of the corpse, became a strange guardian of the old lighthouse.

Its power seems to involve controlling the body it is within, making it incredibly strong and able to regenerate as well as utilize seaweed offensively. 

It is unkown if it can talk.

Hardly anyone believes it is real.

It is based on the Pokemon Dhelmise. 

His former name is a reference to how David Bowie had to change his name from “David Jones” when pursuing his musical career due to Davy Jones of The Monkees fame. 

Corpus Christie

A mysterious woman.

Her power is telekinetic energy, which she can also focus into corpses to make them turn into zombies for a brief time. 

Her skin is grey; apparently she had a near-death experience at one point.

She has no idea who she was prior to getting her powers. Only that her name was “Christine.”

Skyhigh

Sonny Skye was an average young man gifted extraordinary power by the Genesis Event. With it, he rose to fame in the Midwest and South of America by performing noble deeds, though it did draw him some ire from more conservative sources. At this time it is assumed he is a heroic figure.

He has quite a lot of powers: he has flight, the ability to communicate with and control any creature that is able to fly, he has limited ability to control the weather, and he has increased durability and cold resistance. 

His name is a reference to the song “Sky High” by Jigsaw.

His powers are a combination of Storm, Superman, and Aquaman.

Tetsuo Madden

The son of the president of the United States. He is secretly the katana-wielding vigilante known as Black Shadow.

He hunts down and kills superpowered criminals due to his girlfriend being killed by one during a home invasion.

However, he still by day champions the rights of these people, just like his mother and father.

He has no powers of his own, but he is very smart, atheletic, and skilled with the blade.

He is 30 years old.

[kateofthecanals]

For The (Not)Watch: Episode 7.6

The Term “Jump The Shark” Has Officially Been Replaced By “Spear The Dragon”

I knew it was gonna be bad. I had plenty of warning. But I did not expect... this. Even the Sandor stuff, which I was lead to believe would be decent, was also pretty awful. There was just NOTHING redeemable about this episode. In fact, this may be The Worst Episode since 5.6 in terms of completely annihilating my faves. Sickening. Unforgivable. Grab the salt shaker and tea kettle and let’s get this over with...

So this episode really only dealt with shenanigans in the North -- beyond the Wall and in Winterhell. We open on the first of what seemed like 300 scenes of our wight posse shlepping through the snow and engaging in stilted, pointless conversation that served neither plot nor character development. They literally just pointed a camera at different subgroups of the gang and filmed whatever drivel they farted out of their mouths. First up, Gendry, Jon, and Tormund. Gendry is freezing his balls of while Tormund has a snow-boner and there’s the umpteenth conversation about how wildlings consider anything south of the Wall as “the South”. Tormund declares that “fucking” is the best way to keep warm in the North, and when Gendry points out that there’s no women for hundreds of miles, Tormund leers at him and says “We make due with what we’ve got.”

(Guys, remember when Tormund KILLED Rattleshirt for making a gay joke about him and Jon?)

This makes Gendry fall the fuck back, and Jon and Tormund immediately start talking shit about him. Oh, and also Mance Rayder. Yes, kids, this week, Tormund thinks Mance was a total noob for never bending the knee to anyone. Huh. Okay.

Gendry finds himself rolling with Beric, Thoros, and Sandor, and he gives them what for for selling him off to Melisandre and describes how she sexually assaulted him. Sandor, who heretofore has been looking for any ammo with which to give Beric and Thoros shit, suddenly hops fully on their side and ridicules Gendry for feeling bad about being raped and almost murdered. What. The. Fuck. D&D, please keep your loathsome “men can’t be raped just lay back and enjoy it” garbage out of Sandor’s mouth, k thanks.

At any rate, Sandor seemed REALLY interested in this convo. The scene devolved into the most crude version of “Summer Lovin’“ I’ve ever heard...

“Tell me more, tell me more, did you get fucked by Mel??”

“Tell me more, tell me more, was she naked as well??”

Sandor then gives us a little vocab lesson and tells Gendry to stfu because he’s still alive and that’s all that matters. Which was ALMOST a good point except for the whole your-trauma-doesn’t-mean-shit vibe. I refuse to believe that Sandor Clegane, at THIS point in the narrative, would still be a big enough asshole as to belittle someone else’s trauma. #NotMySandor

BTW, literally NONE of the principle characters are or will be wearing hoods or any head coverings of any kind. Only unnamed, expendable characters get hoods on HBO’s “Game of Thrones”!

From here we move on to Jon and Jorah, who had what was ALMOST the most bearable scene in the episode wherein they are discussing their fathers. Ned is brought up, as well as his honor, and no one calls him an idiot for it (!!!!). There’s even a nice moment where Jon offers Longclaw back to Jorah, but Jorah refuses. But this scene doesn’t work for 2 reasons: (1) Jorah suddenly thinks Ned was RIGHT to have punished him?????? and (2) Jorah openly admits that he brought “shame” to his family and won’t take back his sword because of that. This does not jive with the Jorah we’ve come to know, either in books or show. JORAH THINKS HE IS IN THE RIGHT. Jorah is a selfish man. He totally woulda taken his damn sword back.

Next, we take it to Winterhell where Arya is on the perch above the yard and Sansa (very gingerly) approaches her. Arya then begins telling a story about how Ned totally encouraged her tomboy ways because he was #WOKE and a total feminist ally or some shit (hahaha ok) and then says that Sansa probably doesn’t remember because she was too busy “knitting”...

Remember, Empowered Ladies: knitting is a “girl thing” and therefore STUPID and POINTLESS.

Things then take a ridiculously dark turn when Arya accuses Sansa of conspiring to kill Ned. And she totes has “proof” in the form of a letter Sansa was forced to write when she was 13 (but not with “a knife to her throat”, because manipulation and intimidation only exists in physical form, not psychological) and because Arya saw WITH HER OWN (blind) EYES Sansa smiling and clapping or something when Ned was beheaded. Arya claims that Sansa’s age is no excuse because LYANNA MORMONT! (Ah, now we see the TRUE purpose of that character...) Sansa tells Arya that she “can’t imagine” the things that happened to her while she was married to Ramsay, and Arya “Girl Power” Stark replies “I can imagine quite a lot.”

Just... WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.

Rhetorical question, we all know EXACTLY what this is. This is D&D giving voice to every militant Sansa hater in the fandom, using Arya as a conduit for their OWN irrational hatred for Sansa, just to remind everyone who may have been starting to warm up to her this season why they hated her in the first place. Because Sansa MUST NEVER BE FORGIVEN. Sansa must ALWAYS BE PUNISHED for her mistakes. They are so driven in their determination to validate the Sansa haters that they will even sacrifice Arya and all her intelligence to achieve this. It’s fucking pathetic.

I really hope one day Maisie wakes up and realizes how she (and her character) was used in such a vile, petty manner. If she has any brains, she’ll be just as, if not more, outraged than we are.

Any-fucking-way.... back beyond the Wall, Sandor is lacing up his kicks when Tormund decides he wants to make a new friend. Sandor repeatedly tells him to fuck off but we all know that that only encourages him. Sandor tells him he hates “gingers" in an effort to cut him off, and Tormund muses that “gingers are beautiful. We’re kissed by fire. Like you.” Couple this with Tormund going on about how he has a “beauty waiting for [him] back at Winterfell” and how he wants to make babies who will conquer the world and I... just...

I WANT TO BELIIEEEEEVE.

I want so badly to believe that this is seeding something and isn’t just a shitty excuse to get Tormund and Sandor talking about Brienne. But then I come out of my coma and remember this is D&D and sadness takes over once again.

Speaking of sad, Tormund tries to get all Dr. Phil with Sandor by declaring that he doesn’t really think Sandor is “mean” (except every single scene since he returned last season where he’s mean to literally everyone??) and that he has “sad eyes”... which, THAT part is true! Sandor, of course, takes Tormund’s interest in his mental health as an opportunity to no-homo him, and here we get some actual dialogue written by two grown men for an Emmy Award-winning prestige drama:

“You won’t to suck my dick, is that it?”

“Dick?”

“Cock.”

“Oh. Dick. I like it.”

“I bet you do.”

“Nah, only pussy for me!”

Guys, this is literally D&D trying to make up for not seeding this euphemism prior to Bronn laughing about Dickon’s name a couple episodes ago. “See, guys?? Sandor says ‘dick’, it’s totally a thing!!” Amazing.

Anyway, kudos to Sandor for inadvertently pouring that tea over “Briemund” by ACCURATELY pointing out how Brienne looks at Tormund as if she’d like to see him mutilated. #OTP AMIRITE GUYS!!!!!

Our next vignette is Beric and Jon for a bit of pandering to the 3 people who still think this show is clever and that they are clever for liking it, when Beric points out that Jon doesn’t look much like his father and must take after his mother.

They then BARELY have a bonding sesh over having both been brought back from the dead by the Lord of Light, but Jon’s just like I DON’T KNOW HER and Beric proceeds to give the shittiness pep talk ever which culminates in the line that pretty much sums up GoT’s entire philosophy: “The enemy always wins.” Thanks for the motivational speech there, Beric!!

The party then comes to a halt as Sandor sees a mountain in the distance and points it out as the one he saw in the fire, and I’m just like oh sweetie that looks nothing like an arrowhead... But hey, give the guy a break, this is his first flame vision! Mel’s been doing this for centuries and she gets it wrong constantly! Sandor’s actually doing pretty good for a rookie! He then tells everyone “we’re getting close” because apparently he is the Moses of this mission...?

In other realms of D&D Trying To Convince Us The Opposite Of Something We Already Know Is True, we cut to Dragonstone where Dany ACTUALLY SAYS THESE WORDS to Tyrion: “You know what I like about you? You’re not a hero.”

Apparently Dany doesn’t like heroes because they do “stupid” things like charging into battle with both barrels and getting themselves killed. Hold that one under your hat for a moment, folks...

We then get more TELL than show when Tyrion tries once again to convince everyone watching that JON SNOW TOTES IN LUUURRRRVE WITH DANY YOU GUYS BELIEVE ME!!!!! The rest of the scene is just Tyrion being the level-headed one in the room because chicks be so irrational and hysterical amirite fellaz?? And “breaking the wheel” blah blah blah... Also, a reference to Dany having children, which follows a scene of the same with regards to Jon. WHAT COULD IT ALL MEEEEEAAAAAAAN

Back on the Tundra, it’s now a full-on blizzard and still NO ONE IS WEARING A HOOD. Seriously, these guys should all be dead. In the distance they spot a bear, and Tormund doesn’t even make a bear-fucking joke or anything (hmph). Although Sandor does shout “A BEAR!” which once again gets my SanSan senses tingling even though they shouldn’t... Anyway, Zombie Bear Attack happens. Beric sets it on fire with his flaming sword.... which, should have killed it immediately? No? This show is super inconsistent with that bit of information, so whatever, this time it doesn’t work I guess. Anyway, Sandor then finds himself face-to-face with a giant fireball bear and of course he completely freezes up. So Thoros (who also has a flaming sword now too??) jumps to his rescue. Unfortunately, Sandor is unable to do the same for him, and just stands there practically catatonic as Thoros is mauled. Much like Theon a few episodes back.... but I don’t see anyone calling Sandor a “pussy” today, do you? Hmmm, funny that... I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that Sandor’s trauma stems from something “badass” like getting his face pushed in a fire, while Theon’s trauma is gendered and “emasculating”. Nope, nothing to do with that at all...

So anyway Jorah comes in and finishes off the bear with, I assume, dragonglass, since one stab with a little dagger did the trick. Beric tends to Thoros while Sandor stands off to the side like

Beric cauterizes Thoros’s wounds, which of course Sandor has to turn and walk away from. After this scene it occurred to me that Beric and Thoros have the most well-developed relationship on this entire show.

Meanwhile, in Winterhell, what the FUCK is Sansa doing alone in a dark room with Littlefucker and why the FUCK is she telling him ANYTHING about the note and what Arya said??? She couldn’t stand to even be in the same breathing space with him all season long, and now she’s turning to him when she’s getting death threats from her sister?? Why didn’t she go straight to BRIENNE first??? UUUGGGGGHHHHH!!! Speaking of Brienne, LF creepily suggests that Sansa should perhaps send Brienne away in the event Arya DOES try anything, because then Brienne would have to be forced to kill Arya to protect Sansa (and vice-versa). I guess this is supposed to appeal to Sansa’s tender heart in not wanting to see her sister killed, which I can believe since Sansa does seem genuinely rattled by this stranger who calls herself Arya. But of course the haters will immediately think the worst, that Sansa will send Brienne away so that Sansa can kill Arya. Sigh.... this is what bad writing does, folks.

Back on “The Walking Dead” set, Tormund and Jon spot a small group of wights, lead by an Other, and decide to lay a trap for them. They attack, blah blah blah, and when Jon stabs the Other with Longclaw, all the other wights immediately crumble to the ground. But lucky for our groovy gang, there’s one straggler! Tormund cold-cocks it and Sandor body-slams it, getting his hand bit in the process (which has given rise to a bunch of ZOMBIE CLEGANEBOWL theories, jfc....). Jon tells Gendry to RUN back to Eastwatch to get a raven to Dany, and Tormund takes his warhammer before he leaves to fulfill a thousand new memes. The rest of the group books it the hell out of there too, including Sandor who has the wight slung over his shoulder...

Guys, remember when Sandor had a severe limp last season? Now he’s sprinting across frozen tundras with zombies on his back. While carrying a warhammer. Okay.

They all stop short, though, when they get to a patch of thin ice. They see a whole horde of wights closing in on them, so they take a chance and run like hell to a big rock in the middle of the frozen pond, thereby loosening the ice for the wights to fall helplessly into. Which... shouldn’t be a problem for them since they are ICE ZOMBIES?? But sure whatever, let’s just accept that they have a problem with water for some reason to make it fit the plot we want...

Meanwhile, Gendry’s still running!!! LULZ!!!

He ends up faceplanting right in front of the gate, where Davos rushes out to retrieve him. And that’s the last we see of him this episode. Was he okay?? Did he freeze to death?? We’ll never know!! (Until next week when he’s necessary again for the plot...)

The next morning(?), our gang is still on the rock, and Sandor (who had been sleeping against Jon’s shoulder, awwww) wakes up to the sound of the the wight screeching, so he gets up and kicks him. Then Beric discovers that Thoros has frozen to death, so he kisses his hand, promises him he’ll “never let go” and watches as he slips beneath the waves...

But not before Sandor comes over and kneels beside him and delivers a heartfelt speech about how sorry he was for not saving him and wishing he could have been stronger in such a crucial moment and--AHHHAHAHA PSYCHE he swipes his flask! Oh what you didn’t think our awesome Hound was goin’ all SOFT, did ya?? Yes, the same man who, in the first episode of the season, buried two people he hardly knew could barely muster any feelings at all for Thoros kicking the bucket.

So, a farmer and his daughter die because of Sandor, he feels bad and buries them. Thoros dies because of Sandor, he shrugs and steals his booze.

So they burn the body, which Sandor hasn’t the stomach to watch.

Soon they discover the Night King watching them from a hill not too far away. Considering what we will soon learn about him, this whole situation could have ended pretty easily...

At Winterfell, the Plot Convenience Raven has arrived with an invite to King’s Landing for Sansa. Eureka! So, she decides to send Brienne as her envoy. Brienne objects, saying it’s not safe for her to be alone with Littlefinger since he’s probably plotting behind her back (uh, DUHHHH), but Sansa insists that she is the “safest” she could be there at Winterfell. Which.... yeah okay let’s review...

Ever since she’s returned “home”, she’s gotten:

Raped

Almost killed by her husband’s crazy side-piece

Her claim usurped by her (non)brother

Stalked by Littlecreeper

Death threats from her own sister.

Yeah, this whole “I AM HOME, NOBODY CAN HURT ME” drum she keeps banging is getting weaker and weaker.

Anyway, Sansa tries to sweeten the deal by reminding Brienne that Jaime is in KL, because at least one ship ought to be saved from sinking, right? ;-P

Over on Dragonstone, Dany has slipped into her Elsa cosplay as she gathers her dragons for duty. (Y’all, what if the reason everyone’s been wearing black this season is so Savior Snow Queen Dany can stand out in contrast all the better?) Tyrion is pleading with her not to go but she’s decided it’s Opposite’s Day or something.

Back beyond the Wall, Sandor is bored and also stupid, which is a really bad combination. So for so reason whatsoever, he picks up a rock and throws it towards the walkers, which hits one in the jaw. Hahaha okay funny, dude, you got me, good one... But no, the idiot decides to do it AGAIN only this time it lands just short on the ice... thereby tipping off the walkers that the pond is frozen over again. FUCKING GOOD ONE, SANDOR.

Seriously, why is he even THERE?? What is the fucking POINT of him being in this storyline?? Literally all he’s done is get Thoros killed and started Wight War III. HE IS FUCKING USELESS. Which makes me SO MAD because Sandor Clegane -- the REAL Sandor -- is not some brainless, violent oaf, he is actually QUITE INTELLIGENT AND RESOURCEFUL. Book-Sandor would probably kick Show-Sandor into a pile of wights for being such a fucking liability.

Everyone keeps trying to convince us that Sandor has some BIGGER PURPOSE, but from where I am sitting, he is only there to fulfill the show’s “cunt” quota until they’re ready to pull the trigger on CLEGANEBOWL.

So then the fucking melee begins. At one point, Tormund becomes overwhelmed by a bunch of wights, and some even pop up out of a hole in the ice to try and drag him under.... SO ARE THEY WATER-INCAPABLE OR AREN’T THEY??? Anyway, at the last possible second, Sandor saves him, and it’s a super effective moment, guys, because up until then, we didn’t know that Sandor was actually capable of saving people!!

So, once all the remaining nameless, expendable characters are killed off, we’re finally able to unleash the DRAGON EX MACHINA! And then, it happens, the moment we’ve all been waiting for, the moment when Game of Thrones officially became the silliest nonsense ever pretending to be serious. Proving why he was the gold medal winner in Track & Field at the 283 AC Summer Olympics in Highgarden, Night King picks up an ice-javelin, and instead of aiming at the dragon on the ground with a dozen passengers not a few yards away, he hail-marys the bitch up in the air straight at Viserion, who goes down in flames along with this show’s last shred of credibility.Dany barely bats an eyelash.

This bitch has been going on and on for TWO EPISODES IN A ROW now about how her dragons are her babies and the only babies she’ll ever have, and she barely registers any emotion at all. Like... THIS WAS YOU MOMENT, EMILIA. This was your time to pull out all the stops and prove that your range actually includes more than a dull smirk. But no. Doesn’t even call out his name or nothing. I felt more emotion when I saw a wasp drown in my pool over the weekend ffs...

Anyway, Jon yells for Dany and the crew to take off while he tries to hold them off or something, and Dany hesitates until she sees Night King reload. So off goes Disneyland’s newest ride, and NK chucks another super-spear, but Drogon knows how that zig-zaggin’ works. Jon falls into a hole in the ice with a bunch of wights and is somehow able to survive. He pulls himself out, and all the wights just... stare at him. Until they don’t and start running towards him...

But wait! Here comes BENJEN EX MACHINA!!!

He puts Jon on his horse and sends him on his way as he attempts to hold off the wights, which obviously doesn’t work and he is torn to shreds. Cool of you to show up again out of nowhere just to get killed, thanks Uncle!!!

Back at Eastwatch, Sandor lugs the captured wight into a rowboat with the non-help of Tormund and Beric. He gives them a little nod and Beric says they’ll see each other again, to which Sandor replies “I fucking hope not” but he said it with kind of a grin so maybe he’s finally learned to love again.

Up on the Wall, Jorah’s trying to have a moment with Dany but she’s too worried about what happened to Jonnycakes, while Drogon seems to be the only one who cares that Viserion is now a dragon-kebab. (P.S. Where is Rhaegal?) Jon finally arrives and they haul him onto Dany’s boat, where they immediately tear his shirt off, because we haven’t seen Kit’s abs once yet this season and that is a WAR CRIME.

But if you thought we were out of the woods with this episode, you were WRONG.

Sansa is snooping around Arya’s bedchamber when she stumbles upon her stash... OF FACES!!! Yes, it’s literally just a bag of rubber masks. Arya catches her and Sansa’s like WHAT THE HELL, SIS and Jigsaw Arya tells her all about how she got the faces and what that entails and pointedly suggests that she could even wear Sansa’s face. Yep, just straight up threatens to murder her own sister and wear her face, because that’s a totally reasonable response to.... I don't know, knitting? Is that why she’s pissed off at Sansa? I can’t remember anymore. For her part, Sansa maintains her composure very well, but hey, she’s used to this I guess.

BTW, I have to point out that Sansa is wearing her “Bolton Dress” in this episode, which begs the question.... IS THIS THE SCENE THEY WERE FILMING WHEN THEY SHOT THAT STARK COVER STORY FOR EW???? If that’s the case, then.... wow, were we fucking deceived.

^^^ hahahahaha nvm

Another side note: Kudos to Sophie for effectively conveying, more than anything else, just being HORRIFIED at what her sister has become, instead of just straight fear or her usual blank slack-jawed stare. She clearly seems more worried FOR her sister than OF her. Whether that was her/their intention, I don’t know, but that was what I read, and it worked.

Anyway, NO, Arya, all you need is NOT her face, you would also need to grow about a foot, but whatever.

Back on the Love Boat, Jon wakes up (still shirtless) to Dany keeping teary-eyed vigil next to his bed. He apologizes for Viserion getting killed (I guess? that wasn’t entirely clear) but she says she’s glad because now she’s seen the threat and IT’S PERSONAL!!! He then calls her Dany, which she gets all gooey about and says her brother is the last person to have called her that. Yes, Dany, the last person to call you that was your brother, and now your nephew has, SO BETTER BONE HIM!!! Blah, blah, blah, cheesy cheesy cheesy, the end.

I’m so ready for this to be over, because I am so fucking over.

EDIT: I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT THE DUMBEST PART!!! Somehow the wights, who, again, SUPPOSEDLY CAN’T HANDLE WATER, did some deep-sea diving with Tyrion’s long-lost chain from S2, hauled Viserion to the surface, and was resurrected as an Ice Dragon™ for the NK. Done.

[phan-of-the-pen]

I Dare You To Stay: Chapter 16

Look at that! A regular update!! :D 

Tags for chapter: major angst, talk of therapy/mental illness, talk of being kicked out, aphobia, minor language, minor fluff

Words for chapter: ~2.7

Fic Summary: Dan Howell is a barista working a shitty job, frequenting his shitty apartment, and living a shitty existence, hiding his asexuality and going for a PHD in self-depreciation and depression. Phil Lester is a part-time intern, part-time employee at a local weather station, trying to get experience in his field and make a name for himself, while juggling a second job at the nearby Tesco’s to give him some financial breathing room. Their paths were never supposed to meet, but what happens when they do anyways, one rainy day in Manchester?

(ao3!)

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~~~~~~~~~~

"Dan, you're not even listening."

Dan snapped back to reality, his gaze focusing back on Katie sitting across from him. She was frowning, her eyebrows pinched and arms crossed. She still looked pretty even when she was pissed as hell, and Dan found that completely unfair.

"I am, I'm sorry I'm just really tired. I haven't been sleeping well." It was the truth, but Dan also hoped that it was enough to derail their conversation.

Katie rolled her eyes. "Dan, you're not getting out of this just because you're tired. I'm sorry to hear that you've been missing sleep, but we seriously need to talk."

"Okay," Dan said, mentally bracing himself for what he knew was about to happen, "go ahead. You have all of my attention."

"Thank you," Katie responded, her posture relaxing a little. "The bottom line is that I don't think this is working out anymore."

Oh.

Oh...fuck.

Dan's mouth fell open and his heart lurched in his chest. He had thought that this "talk" they were going to have would have been about Dan's mental health or their sex life, but he'd never even imagined it would be about this.

Is she breaking up with me?

"What? Why?" Dan breathed, helplessly searching Katie's eyes for proof that a breakup hadn't been what she meant. They'd been dating for so long...how could she look so unaffected?

"Danny, you know I love you. But I can't help but feel like you don't love me."

"Katie that's insane, of course I love you! How could you ever think that?" Dan asked. He reached forward to lace his fingers with his girlfriend's hand. It was something he did all the time when she got anxious to help calm her down. But instead of smiling gratefully at him she only scowled.

"Insane? Really Dan? You've been pulling away from me for months, you've been making obvious excuses to get out of sex, hell, you've barely even glanced at me in weeks!" Katie slipped her hand from Dan's, and somehow that action hurt more than her accusatory tone. "Am I even your girlfriend anymore?"

Dan winced, knowing that what she was saying was true.

"You're right, and you deserve better, I know, but-"

"No, no buts. I've had enough of your bullshit, Dan. What's going on with you?" Dan swallowed thickly. He had the answer that she was looking for, but that didn't mean that he wanted to tell her. The information felt so new and fragile, he was sure that the faintest pressure would cause it and himself to shatter.

But….

This was Katie, his girlfriend of over a year and a half, his best friend. She's supported him through his depression and anxiety, why does this have to be different?

Katie kept her eyes on him, waiting. His resolution solidified and he took a deep breath, knowing that she deserved to know.

Their eyes met, and Dan traced her green ones with his own. This was Katie. This was Katie. This was Katie.

"You're right. I've been treating you unfairly, and it's been because I've been struggling with something, but regardless that's not an excuse. Anyways…" Dan trailed off, digging his fingernails into his palm hard enough to surely leave little crescent moons behind.

The silence stretched, and Katie didn't make a move to fill it.

"I'm…"

Dan felt sweat prickle at the back of his neck and the rosey patch on his cheek bloom.

"I'm asexual."

~~~~~

"Dan, oh my god, are you alright? David, come here!" Dan's mum cried when Dan stepped through the door. He had tried to be quiet, but their front door was ridiculously creaky and Dan's hiccuping sobs were much too loud to muffle. His mum had him in an embrace before he could do anything about it, but he was pulling out of it before she could even properly settle her arms around him.

The hurt and worried look on his mum's face tore Dan apart, but he needed to self destruct in peace. Dan's father, who had come running at his wife's cry, rested a hand on her shoulder.

"Katie an-and I a-are done." Dan gasped between sobs before turning to the steps and running up them. He didn't miss his mum's gasp of shock.

"Get out of my fucking house Daniel! I never want to see your fucking face again!"

They were definitely done.

~~~~~

Hands grabbed at Dan's body, shoving him against the gym lockers and holding him there. Faces snarled at him as Dan thrashed against their grips.

"How about this, Howell?" Liam asked, pressing his naked chest up against Dan's. He clasped his hands onto Dan's hips and rolled both of their torsos together. "Katie told us how much you hated sex with her. Do you like men instead?" Liam backed Dan impossibly closer to the lockers, a sadistic grin on his face as he watched Dan panic and fight helplessly against all of the hands holding him in place. He thrust their hips together once more and leaned in close, bringing his mouth right up against Dan's ear. "Do you feel sick yet, Howell?"

Liam released him and back away laughing. Instantly the hands collectively released a hyperventilating Dan. Liam pulled his shirt back over his head and with his gang of cronies following him, moved to leave.

"Don't be late for gym, Howell!" he mocked as he exited. Someone shoved Dan to the floor of the locker room as they left.

As soon as it began, it had ended.

Dan stayed on the cold floor, shaking from a panic attack. He peeled himself up from the tiles just in time to rush to the bathroom before throwing up what little he had had for breakfast this morning.

There he stayed, crying against the bathroom stall.

~~~~~

"David, there's no need to rush things."

"I'm not rushing anything. It's been months since he and Katie have broken up, and I was just wondering if he had met someone else yet, that's all. It was an innocent question."

Dan picked at his food, happy to let his mum talk for him. She rolled her eyes and huffed before taking her and her husband's plates to the kitchen to clean them.

Dan stayed, watching the sunset cast oranges, reds, blues, and eventually nothing onto the tablecloth.

~~~~~

"Samantha, would you stay out of this? This is a conversation between a father and his son." Dan's father bit back. Dan shrunk back down further in the shadows.

"There's no need for it! He'll find someone when he finds someone, and you getting on his case won't do anything for anyone!" Dan's mum retorted.

"He hasn't been the same since Katie broke up with him. It's getting ridiculous! He needs to find himself another girl to forget about her." 

"David, I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason as to why Dan isn't dating anyone right now, but you need to-"

"Why aren't you dating anyone? You still haven't answered that question for me, Daniel." Dan's father said, turning his attention back to him. Dan swallowed, briefly looking at his mum for help, but feeling his heart sink when she only shook her head at her husband.

"Well?" Dan's father prompted, his voice gaining a hard edge. It made Dan jump, eyes going a little bit more wide.

Dan weighed his options as fast as he could. He's been giving his father bullshit excuses for months, and they both knew it. If Dan lied it would be easy to tell. Besides, he was out of excuses and his secret was wearing him down to the bone.

His heart in his throat, Dan summarized why his long-term girlfriend had broken up with him, and how he didn't experience sexual attraction as quickly as he could.

And watched as his life was obliterated.

~~~~~

Dan pulled the hood down lower over his face in a horrifically feeble attempt at keeping the stinging rain out of his eyes. He grit his chattering teeth against the wind and hugged his arms tighter around his soaked body.

His ears were still ringing with the words of his parents even though it had been a week since he had last seen them, and he doubted that he would be rid of them for a while still.

Dan ducked under an overhang to catch his breath against the wind, his whole body shaking from the cold. He sneezed violently and cursed; he couldn't get sick now of all times.

The wind blew a monstrous sheet of rain nearly sideways, hitting Dan even with his cover. Dan cursed himself once again for being so stupid and telling his parents for one, but for also being the way he was.

If he wasn't so fucked and wrong he'd be watching the rain from his warm bedroom window right now.

Dan pressed his fingernails into his palms to focus himself and stepped back out into the rain. He needed to find a place to stay, a job, and needed to find somewhere to cry.

~~~~~

"Can I please get the cheapest sandwich money can buy?" Dan asked the barista, eyeing the more expensive ones in the case but knowing that he couldn't afford them even if his stomach felt hollowed out.

The barista sized him up and nodded before disappearing to surely find Dan the most disappointing meal he'd ever have.

Dan leaned against the counter and tried to rub away a slowly forming migraine even though he knew that it would be no use. He really shouldn't have been out in the storm a few nights ago, but he didn't really have that many choices being homeless and disowned.

The barista returned with one of the sandwiches Dan had been looking at earlier as well as a bag of crisps and a bottle of water. She didn't even try to ring him up—only flicked her dyed-red hair and pushed the food forward for Dan to take. Dan was already starting to protest, but she cut him off.

"Look, don't even worry about paying for it. This is on the house, alright? You look pretty down on your luck and I know what that's like, so let me help you out. You can stay here as long as you like, and the booth all the way in the corner is easily the comfiest if you want to camp out until closing." She smiled at him, and it was the first genuine smile Dan had seen in a while. He felt tears prick at his eyes and threaten to spill over, and a baseball sized lump settle in his throat, but he got a hold of himself just in time. He gave the barista—her name tag read Jaime—the most thankful expression he could muster and nodded before getting out of the way of other customers.

Dan relished every bite of his sandwich and nearly cried over the simple comfort of a bag of crisps.

He followed her advice and staked his claim on the booth in the corner. She hadn't been lying when she had said it was comfortable, and after tucking his few valuables away on his person, he laid down and took a much needed nap.

The plan had been for a half an hour of rest to recharge, but when Dan woke back up the sun was low in the sky, and it was just beginning to get dark. Apparently he had needed sleep more than he thought.

Dan checked his belongings and smiled in relief when he found none of them missing.

About half an hour later, he slid out of the booth to leave. He'd need to find a place to hole up for the night, and it would be much easier with the sun still out.

Jaime—the barista—stopped him however. Dan instinctively tensed at her gentle hand on his arm and worried that she had changed his mind on giving him that sandwich, but she only smiled and pressed a paper and pen to his hand.

"It's a job application. You can think on it if you want, and don't worry about filling out stuff like a billing address or phone if you don't have one—I'll take care of them. And if you don't want a job, that's okay. You can always come back here as long as you want."

Jaime gave his arm a squeeze and let go of him so she could return to the counter where there were a few people waiting for their coffees.

Dan couldn't even say thank you with how tight with emotion his throat was.

Later that night, under the shelter of a alley overhang, Dan filled out the application as thoroughly as he could in the light of the moon. When he was done he tucked it safely in his backpack to return to Jaime. He drew his sweatshirt tighter around his body and felt himself relax for the first time since he had been kicked out.

He didn't have a place to stay or a family to love, but he was alive, he had a job, and hopefully, a friend.

Dan couldn't help the grin that spread over his face.

~~~~~

Dan watched as Gina studied him.

He hadn't gone into extreme detail over his past—especially the finer parts the hurt the most—but he had taken the whole hour to explain a vague outline of everything that had happened to him in the past few years. It was good to let his walls against the past slip, even just a little.

It was also the most he had talked about his past to anyone, including Phil, but he hoped that was a good thing. Gina was his therapist, however, so he supposed that it wasn't abnormal that she knew more about his past than his boyfriend.

"Dan, first I want to thank you for explaining your story to me. This session was much different than our last," she said with a smile. Dan sheepishly averted his eyes. This was his second therapy appointment, and his first hadn't gone over too well. He had divulged few details and was overly closed off and snappish for the whole hour he had with this woman.

"I think that we have a lot of work to do to turn around those cynical, negative thoughts of yours, but there's no doubt in my mind that you can do it." Her face softened. "I'm proud of you for telling me so much on only your second appointment. I'm sure you still have plenty of secrets, but that's alright. You'll get better, Dan. I promise."

Gina left him with a few tips on how to spot his negative thoughts, and strict instructions to start working on stopping them. He thanked her and left, pushing open the door and stepping outside soon enough.

It was a week until Christmas, and even though that meant that it was cold enough for the air to sting his lungs, he took a deep breath and started for his flat.

A week ago when he had gotten home after his first appointment and called Phil to complain how he didn't need this, Phil had talked him down from the rash decision of cancelling the rest of his appointments.

Dan had ended up thinking long and hard about why he was so opposed to therapy for himself, and he was certain that it was because he was still in denial that he needed help.

The thing was, he did. He needed help. He wanted to be happy and enjoy life, and more importantly, to move on. But the first step was to take away the power his parents and ex-girlfriend still unknowingly had over him. The only problem was that it was a bigger step than he could take on his own, and it's impossibility made the action daunting.

Dan was now trying to change that, however.

He needed to face his insecurities about himself and his sexuality, and understand that they were wrong and that he deserved better from himself. He needed to accept that he struggled with things like depression, and make changes to combat his mental illness.

It was a big first step, but that's what Gina was here for. She was helping him to learn how to walk.

Dan just couldn't wait until he knew how to run.