#anyhow please read i spent a lot of time on this

[brettsearpiercing]

The Nearness of You

Connor DBH x reader fluff

another oldie, this time from 2022,, it was part of a longer piece that i scratched, but i ended up liking this little part of a chapter

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: 　　 :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

As you grew near to Connor’s apartment, you were greeted by the murmur of music through walls. It would appear one of your friend’s neighbors was discovering the pleasures of listening to old music, so as you knocked on the door number written on the little paper you were holding in your left hand (in your right one was a bag, hiding a housewarming gift), you hummed along with the melody of an old disney song.

After a second of waiting and some rustling behind the door, you could hear the lock click, and an adorably disheveled Connor appeared in front of you. His hair was a bit messier than usual, he had (not surprisingly) put on a white shirt, which was rolled up at the sleeves (much to your delight), and slacks. He looked very good, to say the least.

“You look nice” was the first thing he said, voice barely a whisper, you almost didn’t hear him with the music next door. He then looked into your eyes, like he had just realized he wasn’t doing just that. “Hello! You didn’t need to bring a gift!” he said, but you could tell he couldn’t wait to open it, excitement apparent in his voice.

“Oh, please, it’s your first apartment! Besides, I know you’re gonna need one of these in here” you simply said.

“Alright, if you say so... I believe you.” he said with a smile. “Come in!”

The inside of the apartment was nice, a modest living room and open concept kitchen, ‘this was clearly built in the 2010s’. In the living room there was a small TV and a loveseat couch, a white coffee table and some big, nice windows served as doors to a balcony. The kitchen was fully equipped with a stove, a dishwasher and a fridge. You’d look up why an android’s house needs those appliances when you got home. Anyhow, it was, dare you say, nicer than your own apartment, but much less personal.

Like reading your mind, he said; “There are still some boxes to unpack, that’s why the decoration is so... nonexistent.”

“Oh, tell me about it. When I first moved in I had beach chairs instead of a couch. Honestly I spent more time on the floor than I’d like to admit.” He let out a small chuckle, you were still holding the bag. You were still holding the-! “Oh- here! Happy house! I mean, happy moving in? Happy life.” you said, a little flustered you had been holding the bag for so long. Connor stretched out his hand, hooking his fingers under the handles of the brown paper bag. As he looks inside, he can’t help but smile.

A little potted mint plant is sitting inside the bag. “I remember you liked it when you tasted the one in my garden, so I brought you a little sprout of mine,” you hesitated in your explanation, you weren’t sure why you were so bashful about remembering something he liked. It was a sweet, friendly gesture! He had nothing to read into, even if you wanted him to.

“It’s lovely, thank you.” It was the first time you had heard him use the word ‘lovely’ to describe something, and it made you feel proud he used it describing something you gave him.“I think it was the first thing I ever actually tasted, so this is really...” he looks at you and you spot what you hope is fondness peaking in his mechanic eyes. “Nice. Thank you.” he then carefully takes the plant and places it next to the couch, facing the window.

“It’s nothing. All apartments need some green in them. Maybe I’ll get you some basil next.”

“Oh, thank you, but one gift is enough. I’ve only moved in!” he chuckles, “though your offer is quite kind.” he looks at you for a moment, pensive, then speaks again. “I guess that’s just a ‘you’ thing, isn’t it?”

“Oh.” the gasp is barely a whisper, and it leaves your mouth quickly, but that doesn’t mean it goes unnoticed.

“I’m sorry, did I overstep?” Connor worries. Actually, Connor worries a lot, specially when it’s about interactions with you. He can’t put his finger on why it pains him so much to see you frown at something he says. He is worried now, yet you’re not frowning. Quite the opposite, actually. Your eyebrows are shot up, like if they could pop out of your face and go up to the ceiling, they would. Your heartbeat is also going faster, and blood is rushing to your cheeks. When you don’t answer, he says your name in a tone that screams ‘nervous as all fuck’.

“Yes?”

“I...” his voice caught in his throat (in the most figurative way possible). Why wasn’t he saying anything!? The music coming from his neighbor’s house wasn’t allowing him to think correctly, his thoughts and the words from the song intertwining and confusing him.

“I like this song,” you quipped, trying to help dissipate the frown crawling subconsciously onto his face. “Ella Fitzgerald is really talented... Don’t you have this record?”

“Yes, actually.” happy at a question he can answer easily, he smiles softly, the frown still adorning his features, though less intensely now, “It’s in one of the boxes for now, though.”

“Ah, I see. Well, it’s still super nice that you have it. You lucked out, really.” he notices you swaying in time with the music.

He starts swaying with the music as well, a smooth trumpet solo paving the way for his steps, getting closer to you. He’s nervous, yet you’re not able to tell. He hopes you’re not able to. He’d be mortified.

"Care to dance?"

“Of course,” you smile at him, “I love a good dance partner” you wink, only half-joking. Your heart rate goes up again and that goddamned blush animation makes its way up his neck.

You hold out your hand to him, and he takes it. Your skin is soft and pliable under his hard plasteel cover. As you raise your hand to eye level to move into a more adequate dancing position, you notice something about Connor’s hand he’s oblivious about: it’s turning white.

“Whoa.” He’s too busy at first, looking at your astonished expression with amusement. Then he wonders about what you’re looking at, and follows your stare to find that (oh no!) he’s trying to interface with you, even though he knows you’re not capable of reciprocating. How... humiliating. Just in time, the music stops as the song comes to an end.

Silence.

Looks like the neighbors decided to finally go to sleep.

There’s a moment in which you look into each other’s eyes, and you can see a hint of terror in your friend’s eyes. You hope he sees tranquility in yours, yet he only finds pity.

‘Oh, poor little thing, it’s trying so hard.’ Yet the rational part of him stops him from spiraling down. No, you wouldn’t call him an ‘it’ before the revolution, he doesn’t think you’d do it now. Yet the pity is still apparent to him.

Only him, though.

“I am so sorry-” he looks away suddenly, and tries to get his fucking hand away from you(‘ohmygodthisisawful') yet you interlace your fingers and he stops trying to pull away when he feels resistance. It’s his turn to watch, shocked, as your human knuckles press between his man-made ones.

“Are you... trying to interface with me?”--a painfully obvious question he forces himself to answer.

“Yes. I’m sorry if this is inconvenient.”

“No, it’s... it’s fine. I just thought this was like, I don’t know, super personal for you guys.”

“It is. Again, sorry if it’s-”

“No. Don’t be dumb, you don’t have to apologize for... whatever this means.”

‘It means I like you a lot. Please realize that already.’

“Alright, then. I don’t quite know what it means either. I’m just as confused as you are.” he lies.

You stay silent.

“Connie?” he can feel his software searching for what he’s trying to connect to, and the feeling intensifies when he hears the nickname you’ve given him, “ I think... Just, going by what I’ve heard...” he must be dreaming again, “I think this means you like me.” That, or he’s hallucinating.

“It’s-” his audio generator lags, “It’s more than that.” he’s lucky he isn’t able to vomit, because he’s sure he’d be spilling his guts right about now with how nervous he is.

“Oh?” his skin keeps retracting and now his whole forearm is white. He’s partially sure it’s because of the way you’re looking at him. “So, what you’re trying to say with this” you gesture to his forearm with your other hand “is... you really like me?”

“More or less, yes-”

“Y’know humans have our way of saying that too?” He can’t form one coherent though with what little time there is between you saying this and you touching his face softly. As you lean forward you search for hesitation on his features, but since you don’t find anything except yearning, you don’t need any more encouragement to close the distance between you.

[scarfacemarston]

saw your post saying that you want ideas for Fenris, so here's my 5 cents;

You know the romance ending for Fenris? Whenever I see it and I hear Varric say "a hero was born" for some reason that makes me think that it is giving us the idea that Fenris has become a dad, soooooo, any thoughts on Fenris as a dad?

Have a good day/night

Hey! I LOVE that idea. Seriously, that is so heartwarming to think of. It's been months since I've written hc and I've never written for Fenris before, but I hope you like it! I have bonus hc's from the crew below the cut. Background: Despite being together for over several years since Act 3 and the fact that they might as well have been married, Varric and crew still found themselves surprised to hear that Fenris and Hawke were pregnant/adopting. "Broody with a Broody Jr on the way? I knew it'd happen at some point; you owe me 50 coppers, Rivani."

If pregnant - Hawke was initially worried Fenris would leave them because of their first night together, but he had proven himself loyal to a fault numerous times, the thought thankfully disrupted quickly.

Fenris is the worrying warrior until after the baby is born, or if adopting, til they bring them home.  His mind is always going a mile a minute risk calculation and problem-solving for things that haven't yet happened. Hawke has to get him to snap out of it. He's extremely attentive partially because he tries to think about any possible situation and discomfort and how to avoid it. If Hawke is pregnant, he's ready, whether through ginger tea, soothing balms, hot towels, massages, craving outings, you name it.

It's not original, but the baby would definitely be named Bethany, Leandra, or Malcolm if it's a son. With adoption, he feels a little more in control. (I love the idea of Fenris having a daughter, so that's what I'm using her. Feel free to hc differently!)

The baby loves his voice. Adores it. She perks up whenever Fenris speaks, even if it's the quietest of murmurs or humming. Fenris would talk to the baby if his partner is pregnant, calming her down, especially if she starts kicking.  

He doesn't mind getting up in the middle of the night to take care of her. He's lived on such little sleep before, but this was something worth it. He sometimes likes the quiet to reflect on his new life and gaze at the miracle in his arms.

Fenris has to be reminded to put her down sometimes so Hawke can hold her ---then Hawke has to be reminded to put down the baby so they can get work done.

Definitely lots of story time together and time spent reading books together. 

He wants his child to be curious about the world and not be afraid to question why things are the way they are. He encourages her to ask difficult questions, even if it's something he doesn't always want to answer. He will try to answer in an age-appropriate manner anyhow.

Incredibly protective. He never thought he'd have a family, and now he has someone who depends on him more than anything. He is never far from her; if he can't chase after them, she's in a playpen where he can keep watch. However, he also tells himself that falling and making mistakes is okay. Scratched knees or messes are to be expected. Fenris becomes very good at toeing the line between being protective and allowing her to pick herself up and figure out solutions "by herself." (Of course, he'll still be there to kiss it better or give her a boost.)

He and Hawke agree that they'd rather gift her love and time than gifts.

Somehow, Fenris has ended up with an extra Malbari, 2 cats, and a goat as pets.

He teaches her a lot of skills, Lots of nature excursions, and teaches her things like navigation, plant identification, starting a fire, and helping her learn a language. 

He and Hawke agree to teach her self-defense once she's old enough. He's a firm & thorough but patient teacher.

He and Hawke believe she should do whatever she pleases with her body. Does she want long-flowing hair? He'll show off his braiding skills. Does she want chopped hair like FemHawke? Done. 

If she turns out to be a mage, Fenris would accept it. He would know that was a possibility whether she was biologically theirs - because of Hawke's mage line or, if adopted, that it is a randomized gene. He would be lying if he didn't think their lives would be easier if she wasn't a mage - but that is because he is worried for her and the current politics - not so much because of his past treatment of mages. It would take him a little time to process it, but he would love her just the same……….he only hopes that Hawke or one of their friends can help with the magic because turning the floor into an ice rink or the smell of burnt hair can only be tolerated for so long.

Bonus:

The Hawke crew isn't always around, but I like to hear them stay in touch and visit. Maybe they still travel together. I hated the idea of them breaking up.

Varric has most definitely written a few adventures with her in mind - one being a talking animal version of Hawke's adventures. Another about griffons and another about malbari adventurers.

Merrill brings the sweetest gifts and loves telling stories and taking her foraging. Flower crowns are a must.

Isabela develops a liking for stuffed plushies. It started with a stuffed parrot, and before they knew it, the bed was crowded with stuff like Malbari, parrots, griffon, cats, and whatever she could find. Isabela also gives her her first pirate sword. Baby Hawke loves her jewelry.

Aveline - mage or not - offers to train her in combat. Of course, Hawke laughs and says, "She's a baby. I think she's fine for now." She'd offer to babysit - Hawke having a child really has her curious about starting her own family with Donnic when they can find the time. Donnic makes her a set of cards so she can "play" diamondback with them.

Anders offers medical care if he is around and also offers to tutor her in magic - but I think we all know what Fenris' thoughts on that would be. Still, Fenris would begrudgingly be thankful for any care he provided.

[tmwcs]

HHP - Chapter 11 Part 1 (18+MDNI)

God dang we need a break from all the smut, nearly every chapter thus far lol. Heeseung/Ethan! Quit being so needy!

Warnings: Yeah...lots of smut and just...smut is smut, its kind of kinky in this one because...y/n is 'thanking' Heeseung for his gift.

Anyhow, chapter 11 is long, i dont know exactly how many parts it's split into yet, but two parts for now, and tomorrow the rest should be posted. I'll need to show MT some love since i've been working on HHP because you all been digging it so much. I promise MT chapters will be posted this week.

Can i just say though, chapter 11 is probably my favorite. you'll see why. it's just everything...literally everything. Please make sure you read the parts in order because...it's imperative. Enjoy!

Throughout the week you and Heeseung, aside from your busy workload and schedules with classes, placed the terrible event that occurred with Tiff and Scott behind. No doubt, picking out the materials, colors, and designs for the house that Heeseung intended to have built for you helped immensely. The gift was so overwhelming, you still found it hard to express your gratitude, even after you had spent an entire Friday evening showing it through a manner that he deeply appreciated. What a night that was….

-Flashback-

“Ah! Fuck!” Heeseung groans.

Slurping the tip, your mouth is glossed over with saliva and the juices of your labor. After you were able to emotionally recover from the encounter with Scott and Tiff, you wanted to do something nice for Heeseung, the man who not only protected you, nurtured you, and comforted your soul with his fierce, yet gentle, warmth and passion, but was displaying proof of his efforts to show how much he was willing to take care of you.

Stroking, sucking, swallowing, and showering your neck, mouth, and even your collar bones with his essence, you continued to enslave yourself to his ultimate desires and pleasures.

Sure, you were feeling exhausted, sore, and perhaps even a bit used and abused as he alternated between himself and his Ethan side, tossing you around like a ragdoll throughout the night by his fervent persona, while his calmer Dr. Jeckyll side edged you on a torturous peak, your body had been through so much for God knows how long.

Pleasing and giving your utmost attention between his two sides as they took turns switching in and out, you felt limp and beyond tired. But you didn’t care, tonight was all for him.

It was the least you could do.

“My turn…” Ethan’s ominous smile appears on his handsome face, which a moment ago was dashing, and reflected the image of a prince. Now, it was evil, dark, and threatening while still retaining an attractive appeal. Really attractive.

You felt his hands grip your waist as he turns you over, his lithe wrists can be seen from the corner of your eye as you witness his strong hand grab hold on yours, pinning your hand down on the bedding as you feel his weight graze over on top of your naked body, dragging his tip along the back of your thighs as he aligns his frame with yours and burrows his shaft in between your legs.

Arching your back, your rear presses up against his groin, you were so tired that your face was emotionless, your eyes completely lacking any expression as your voice began to disappear from the screaming, the intense moaning, and the yelling that you issued out thus far.

And you loved every minute of it.

Feeling the plumpness of your derriere pressed up against his lower pelvis, Ethan groans against the back of your head as he presses forward.

“Ahhh….you’re craving it aren’t you?”

He expresses lowly, forming a devilish smile as he inhales the scent of your hair.

Slipping inside, his tip smooths its way in you with ease, why wouldn’t it? You lost count on how many times you both came, all you knew was that they took turns cumming in and out of you, either drowning you with his essence, or spraying it as he painted your body with it.

Whichever method they wanted, it didn’t matter, you were there to please them for their kindness and love to you. Even your Eden side, who normally displayed a stance of equality with her Ethan, rendered total submission as her high-pitched moans could be heard begging for Heeseung and Ethan to hurry up and cum from the intensity that she couldn’t take anymore. You also did the same.

Covered in sweat, cum, and glistened with saliva all over, your hair plastered to your face and body, Ethan plunders deep inside as his frame taps yours from the back as he thrusts relentlessly into your body, with you. Your emotionless and tired expression turned into a painful one as you somehow, ironically even after being fucked thoroughly for the tenth, perhaps the eleventh time already, yet you can still feel the slight sting and burn as he stretches you out.

‘I need you to come out…I need a break…’

‘I don’t know if I can take anymore…I’m so tired and restless.’

‘Please…Eden. He…wants you…’

Tapping into your Eden side, just a sliver of energy re-emerges from within your gut as you managed to hold yourself steady against his pelting thrusts. Eden moans, and yet, it was nothing but air as her voice rasps into nothing, fearfully realizing that even your body’s vocal cords had been depleted as she barely gasps.

“Aww…my Eden is here. Good. Daddy missed you baby.” Leaning in as he reached around to grab Eden’s throat, he turns her face to the side as she gasps for air through her straining yelps, her body shifting vigorously from the searing hits, Ethan engages in a feasting kiss, devouring everything she released through her delicate mouth.

When it came to pet names, Ethan loved both, his ‘pretty baby’; you, while also equally loving his ‘babydoll’, Eden. Hearing him distinguish the two sides of you made you realize how well he knew all of you, knowing that he could accurately call out any side no matter the appearance.

You were the same with him and Heeseung.

“E-Ethan!”

“Scream for me!”

“I-I…Ah! Please no!”

“I said fucking scream!” Ethan’s brutal demand was followed by a severity of intense thrusts that had become inhuman in regards to speed and strength. An agonizing Eden suffers the wrath of his length and girth as she screams into his mouth, tears streaming down from the outer corners of her eyes.

“Pl-please….no more…” She pants out.

“Oh? But I’m not done, baby. Don’t you want to show daddy how much you reeeeally love him?”

“Y-yes…I-I do…”

“Then come here babydoll.”

Rendering absolute obedience, Eden lifts her head to be closer to Ethan’s, feeling the acute sense of pain as he bites down at the nook of her neck, speeding up his thrusts yet again.

His last orgasmic release went inside, this time, he wanted to perfect his craft as he pulls out just in time, grabbing on to Eden’s hair as he pulls her up, quickly aligning his shaft towards her face and chest, he ushers her to show her oral appreciation.

“Suck…” he breathlessly states, watching his beautiful equal panting her mouth around his length as she does exactly what he commanded.

Stroking the base of his shaft, he groans out. “Fuck I’m going to cum!” His voice was so deep and hoarse, in fact, Heeseung’s voice was normally deep, yet when he tapped into his Ethan side, his voice would become even more rasping and husky. It was another way to distinguish what side he was displaying, among other features.

Pulling out his length from Eden’s mouth, he strokes and showers his essence over her breasts, where the evidence of Heeseung’s previous spirits remained from when he did the same to you.

Spraying you, tracing the streams with his tip all over your skin, as he tapped your mounds with his bulge, his eyes widened in immense intrigue and pleasure as he watches his Eden render complete obedience to him and takes in every demand he issued.

Tracing his initials on your breasts with his tip, spreading the messy substance all over, he raises the shaft and bids her to open your mouth and stick out your tongue. Upon doing so, he taps lightly against it.

“Tell me how much you love what daddy gives you.”

“I…I love it baby.” She spoke truthfully, yet exhaustion hit her like a boulder crashing into her frame.

“Yeah? You love me?”

“Yes.”

“You going to stay with me forever?”

“Yes.”

“You going to be my queen?”

“Yes.”

“Good girl.” He smirks out his whisper as he lifts her by the chin, leaning down and kissing her. Their foreheads glazed with sweat, pressed up against one another, as their nose tips gingerly touch in the passionate exchange of saliva.

“Mmmm….” Eden moans into his mouth.

“Time for a break, babydoll. Switch.” Issuing the demand that Eden reverts to your normal state, as he goes back to his Heeseung side, you felt as if the lights had turned on as your vision becomes clearer and you watch your man appear, ceasing the sinister glare that was just there, developing a snarky yet kinder expression to replace it with.

“Welcome back…baby.” He side-smirks as he narrows his eyes at you. Heeseung, feeling revitalized from his ‘break’ grabs onto your waist and pulls you in.

“Ready?” he lifts a brow, displaying a cocky expression as he looks at you, non-verbally expressing he wanted to hear you answer.

Looking at him with pain, over sense of pleasure, and exhaustion on your face, you nod and breathlessly tell him “…Y-yes.” Knowing that that’s exactly what he wanted to hear, not the truth, which was that you were done. Physically tired and done, barely able to take anymore.

Yet you couldn’t, this was after all, his gift, though you felt that you did more than express your gratitude by now. However, you promised yourself that you would go on until he was completely satisfied, undermining just how much energy and stamina he had. You really should have thought this over earlier, before you wore his favorite lingerie set and told him ‘Do whatever you want with me. I don’t want you to stop until I’ve pleased every inch of you.’

Chuckling, he brings your face in closer, “Good…come here.”

Whining as you felt tears streaming down from the overstimulation, your lips quivered as you felt the sudden sensation of his chest plastered against yours, pressing against your breasts as his sweetened kisses grazes your cheek, incorporating his hot breath and threatening low toned exhales, causing you to tremble as he smirks against your skin. With your face turned off to the side, wincing as you dread for what was about to come, he continues to kiss as he reaches down, his knuckles grazing against your stomach as you already knew what he was reaching for, the solid and firm muscle reaching up as you felt it breaching entrance.

“Mmmm…I love you.” his low growling voice echoes into your brain before you felt him enter.

-End Flashback-

Sitting at your favorite café alone, in a secluded seat, you reach down in between your legs delicately to apply some pressure in between your skirt, using your petticoat to hover over and hide the act so that no one would notice.

‘God I’m so sore…’

Applying pressure with the flatness of your palm somewhat relieved the sting. Dear God, that man knew how to ruin you.

Since he was top of his class and assigned as the class representative to aid the teachers with the distribution of assignments, to include, grading, tutoring, and even teaching the materials whenever the teachers were absent, Heeseung had to go in early to begin the exam preparations with the class as the professor called in sick.

Coordinating a ride for you with Jake, Heeseung drops you off at the café before heading over to campus, since your class didn’t begin for another half hour.

“Stay here and wait for Jake to pick you up. He’s going to pick up Emily first and will text you once he’s nearby. Just sit inside and enjoy your coffee in the meantime.” He instructs you, firmly as he gave off a sense that he didn’t want you out alone away from public eyes, not after what had happened last week.

“Okay.” You responded, issuing a sweet smile as you unbuckled your seatbelt and prepared to get out.

“Jake will pick you and Emily up after your last class, just make sure you stay by Emily the entire time until he drops you off at the house. If I’m running late or not in my room by the time you get there, lock the door. You have your keys, right?”

You nodded as you held on to the spare keys that he had made for you that opened the door to the main entrance of the frat home, and his room.

“Good. I’ll see you later alright?” he reaches a hand at the back of your head as you prepare to step out of the parked car, which was right in front of the café along the curb, merely six feet away from the door.

“Love you.” You softly issued.

“Love you too.” He leans in, while simultaneously pulling you inward with the placement he had on you, placing a tender kiss on your forehead, nose tip, and finally your lips.

Now that you reflected on how he had prepared everything for the sake of your safety when he dropped you off a few minutes ago, the soreness you were relieving with your palm didn’t seem so bad…

A small price to pay for him.

Classes felt dull, which had made sense considering the amount of thrill and passion you were experiencing with Heeseung and Ethan in the bedroom, while also having your special moments such as picking out the designs for the house, you couldn’t help but compare the excitement you felt on your off time with the class sessions.

Finally, after the last class, you walked out as you see Emily waiting right outside for you. Since her last class was in a separate room, she was instructed by Jake to leave a couple minutes early to meet you outside the door. No doubt, Heeseung coordinate that as well.

“Hi Emily.”

“Hey! How was Humanities?”

“Boring.”

“Yeah? Mine too. I swear I can’t wait for the next break, even though we just finished with the summer one.”

You smiled at Emily’s adorable and perky attitude, her voice, matching her bubbly personality as it was high pitched, and almost childish in the manner of how she presented everything. She was like a small doll, always dressing in frills of ruffles and lace with her appealing attire.

“Ready? I think Jake is parked outside now.”

You nodded as you walked side by side with the girl.

“So, what happened last week? I heard some guy was trying take you and that Heeseung’s ex-girlfriend was giving you problems.”

Emily inquired, you continued to stare down at the ground as you walked, nodding.

“Yeah, it wasn’t a pleasant experience, and the guy was huge. I really was scared, but Heeseung took care of it and fortunately, I haven’t seen the guy since, or Tiff for that matter.”

“Is that her name? Tiff?” Emily expressed with a puzzling and somewhat disapproving expression on her face.

“Yeah, her name is Tiffany but she goes by Tiff, I guess.” You chuckled as you noted the girl’s face. Emily looked so young, rather childlike in a way yet there was a sliver of maturity that appealed to her persona, barely though. The young girl gave you Lolita vibes, looking pretty and adorable while she spoke with a playful tone, dressed like a doll, looked incredibly young and was tiny, petite, and short in stature, yet she had certain attributes that reeked of adulthood, mainly her well-endowed breasts. Had it not been for the apparent evidence that the girl was not a girl, but a young woman, you would have thought she was younger than sixteen, which shocked you when you had found out, shortly after meeting her, that she was actually older than you by a few months.

“Well whenever Heeseung can’t pick you up or drop you off, just text or call me, Jake and I love having you around.” Emily states as she holds your hand, skipping slightly ahead as she drags you behind. You smile as you felt the sense of having a sister, since your bond with Emily was very close, considering Jake and Heeseung were close like brothers.

Meeting up with Jake, who was parked along the curb, he greets you both as he hugs and kisses atop Emily’s head. Jake was of decent height, but nowhere near as tall as Heeseung. Yet, compared to Emily, he reigned over her as you watch him bend his neck far down for his lips to reach the silky strands that were delicately pinned with cute little berets that matched her attire.

On your way in being dropped off at the frat house, Emily spots out a small jewelry boutique from the window in the front passenger seat.

“Oh babe! Can we stop over there really quick? I wanted to see if I can pick out something for my sister, her birthday is coming up and I want to send her a gift since I’ve saved up from working from my part time job during breaks.”

“Yeah sure baby.” Jake responds as he steers the car into a parking space.

The three of you go inside the boutique, it was filled with all types of jewelry pieces, some of real gold and silver, others plated, along with gemstones and rare stones.

Looking around as you wait for Emily to pick out a gift with Jake by her side, you roam around with your arms crossed, taking in the sights of all the beautiful pieces on display.

As you walked past the wide display, a pair of rings caught your eye.

Noting the matching pair, one silver and one rose gold, yet they both had the exact same design. Appearing to be plain bands, with no decoration of jewels or emblems, yet the scripture, which appeared to be of an ancient language, decorated the entire circumference of each one.

They looked to be of random patterns and emblems, it was unique and fascinating to you.  

Calling over an attendant, you inquired of the rings and asked if you could take a closer look at them.

“Ah yes, let me get Mr. Holbein, he is the one in charge of historical pieces.”

You raised your eyebrows at the mentioning of ‘historical’ as the attendant retrieved the gentleman to gather the rings and present them to you.

“Well hello. I’m Hans Holbein, what can I help you with?”

You pointed at the matching bands and asked about the design and history of the pieces.

“Oh, you’re the first to ask about these. I’m glad though, these are very special.”

Explaining the history of the silver and rose gold bands, he mentioned that they had belonged to an elderly woman, who was born in the 1920’s, and been stationed in Europe as an Army nurse during World War II. Meeting an injured soldier, the pair fell in love, yet were separated and left unknowing of each other’s fate, until the end of the war, when they reunited.

After spending years spent apart and surviving the war, the duo remained in France for a while, where they had the rings custom made, and had the scripture inscribed, which was in the Sumerian language. How the pair were able to find a master to craft the rings and draft the archaic language was left a mystery, according to Mr. Holbein.

“Do you know what the inscription says?” You gently inquired.

Removing the plush ring holder that was fitted inside the wooden box, underneath was a piece of paper that had been rolled up as a scroll.

He explained that the woman had passed on a year after her husband, after many years of living a fruitful life. With the children grown and all away, she donated the rings to the antique jewelry store.

“I saw her bring them in and knew they were special, since my father was a history teacher.” The gentleman, Mr. Holbein explained.

The rolled-up scroll, unraveled, translated the scripture of both bands. The silver ring, when translated, read:

‘He who carries the strength and might of silver, protects his heart of gold.’

The gold band translated to:

“She who carries a heart of gold, will forever be guarded by a silver sword.

“Do you like them?” Mr. Holbein asks.

“I do.”

“Are you intending to wear both? Or is one for someone else?” He inquires.

“One is for my husband…” you state softly.

“Oh, well these have been here for a while and need good owners. Make me a offer and they’re yours.”

You look up at the man, expressing that he was too generous, yet he insisted after explaining that you were the first to ever inquire of the bands, since all the customers inquire on the lavish and expensive pieces that carry diamonds or rare jewels.

“Do you know what size he is?”

You should your head, when suddenly you just remembered, you had a ring that belonged to him hooked up to your pair of keys that he made for you to access the frat home and his room. Recalling how Heeseung didn’t want the rings to become separated, he had the pair connected to one of his rings, intending on getting a proper key chain for you later. You dig into your coat pocket, fetching out the ring, detaching it from the keys. Pairing it with the silver band, and using a tool to compare the two sizes, Mr. Holbein places on his glasses delicately as he examines the ring sizes.

“Well would you look at that? A perfect match.” He claims, noting that the size of the silver ring was the exact same as Heeseung’s ring.

Looking over to you, he presents the gold band with the ancient scripture to you.

“Why don’t you try it on?” he states.

Taking the ring, you place it on your ring finger. It fits.

“Well, if I hadn’t known any better, I’d say that the rings were meant to be passed down to you and this fella.” He smiles as he puts the ring fitting tool away, noting that it wasn’t needed.

Since you opened your first savings account at such a young age, saving up all your allowances and whenever you worked part time throughout your summers in high school, you had quite a bit saved. You always intended to keep it for your future, yet that was hardly the issue since Heeseung had the means to take care of you, yet still, you didn’t want to be presumptuous and felt the need to always establish yourself by your own means, insisting that you would build your own career and earn your own keep and contribute by any means.

Not knowing what to offer, you asked Mr. Holbein what he would consider to be fair. Considering the uniqueness of the pieces, and that they were both pure silver and pure gold, you were prepared to deplete your savings for the pair, as you felt they were perfect for you and Heeseung.

With a most generous offer, Mr. Holbein offers you the rings at such a discounted price, you insisted to pay more. He shook his head with a smile,

“Consider it a wedding gift from me. I’m more than happy to part with them as long as they’re taken care of.”

You expressed your utmost gratitude and paid for the rings, which were kept in the same wooden box that the elderly couple had made when they got the rings. It was old, and very worn with ash burn marks that depicted an image of a Celtic design.

Taking the box, you expressed thanks once more, excited to present your gift to Heeseung.

‘Matching rings…for me and him.’

“Oh y/n, did you get something?” Emily remarks upon seeing the box in your hand.

“Yeah I did.” you smile as you bit down on your bottom lip.

Jake looks at you and smiles. He doesn’t say anything, he merely relies on his instinct that you had gotten something that was going to make Heeseung more than happy.

Jake and Emily drop you off at the frat house. Heeseung’s car wasn’t parked out in the driveway, indicating he was still on campus filling in for the professor.

“You gonna be alright here on your own?” Jake turned back to look at you as you unbuckled your seatbelt, prepared to get out of the backseat of the car.

“Yes, thank you. I have the keys and he told me to lock the doors, plus I think one of his frat brothers is here with his girlfriend.” You noted as you recognized Jimmy Kang, a nice young man who lived in the frat home with his sweet girlfriend who ‘lived’ inside his room in the same manner that you had with Heeseung.

Also recognizing the plates of the vehicle, Jake nods as he and Emily bid you farewell.

“Call us if anything happens. Heeseung should be out shortly.” Jake remarks.

Expressing your gratitude to the pair, you wave goodbye as you enter the frat house, closing the door and locking it. Before making your way up the stairway to the second floor, Jimmy and his girlfriend greet you as they linger out from the kitchen, preparing dinner for the entire frat members and their girlfriends.

“Oh y/n, are you and Heeseung going to be in for dinner? We made barbeque for everyone.”

You expressed gratitude and stated that you and Heeseung would love to join in with everyone, offering if there was anything you could get from the store, in which they gratefully declined, stating they had everything they needed.

“My uncle gave my mom a lot of meat and vegetables for a family celebration. There was too much so they gave me the rest of the uncooked meat and ingredients, there’s a lot.” Jimmy explains.

Thanking them, you tell them that you would be back down after a while to help with cooking and cleanup after Heeseung returns.

Going up the stairs, you enter the room, again locking the door as Heeseung strictly instructed for you to do. It may have seemed overkill, yet whenever he uses that firm tone and looks at you with no smile or even a slight smirk present on his face, you knew that he was serious. If he ever found out that you didn’t do exactly what he outlined, he’d get angry, even if it was towards you, especially considering it was concerning your safety.

Based off your experience, ever since Tiff came into the picture, that one fight that was caused by her discretion taught you that an angry Heeseung wasn’t pleasant to deal with, which ultimately meant that whenever he was angry, so was his Ethan side.

Having an angry Heeseung was scary, and abrasive enough, yet, when his Ethan side comes out with the same emotion, that was even worse. Recalling his violent nature that he displayed towards Scott and Tiff, you couldn’t imagine what that would have looked like had he gone full Ethan. Even though his manner of displaying his displeasure towards you is much less harmful than that of someone else, like Scott or Tiff, you wouldn’t put it past him to take his anger out on you through the manner he had done previously, knowing that it hurt you not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally, to the point where your Eden side came out to express your anger and defense. Yet, you wondered, had you not been angry at all, would she have still come out? Or would you have been left to take on Ethan’s wrath all on your own?

You wonder what triggering points exist that causes you to go Eden, already noting that sex, or the lust of being with Ethan were already the factors that made her come out, yet you wondered if there were more, such as being angry or upset.

A text message comes in that snaps your thoughts.

“Coming home. Are you inside the room?” Heeseung texts.

“Yes.”

“Did you lock the doors?”

“Yes, both of them. Jimmy and his gf are downstairs making everyone dinner.”

“Okay. Just keep the doors locked until I get there.”

“Okay.”

Feeling the rush of excitement rise as you couldn’t wait for Heeseung to get home so you can show him your gift. Well, your other gift, considering you gave him one the other night, which you were still feeling the effects of from the number of times he filled you up.

Right after you had sent your last text to him, you received an incoming call, it was your mother.

“Mom?”

“Oh y/n, how are you? Your dad and I wanted to check up on you, it’s been a couple of weeks since we last heard from you.”

“Oh yea! I’m sorry, I mean to call…”

You briefly explained you got carried away with your studies, and that you were spending time with your boyfriend.

“Ah yes, the fella that you met after the breakup with Samuel, correct?”

Recalling a moment where you explained your breakup with Samuel the night after you received his email months ago, you explained to your mother and father that you had already began dating someone else. Unaware that you had met your boyfriend while you were dating Samuel, you left a lot of details out as you didn’t have the opportunity to explain everything. Well, it would appear now is your chance, especially considering Heeseung had told his family about you.

Explaining everything, from the moment you met Vickey, met her boyfriend, explained their breakup, and Samuel’s email, you explained that since you had already bonded with Heeseung on friendly terms as he was dating your ex-roommate, that upon seeing Samuel’s email, the two of you pursued a relationship. Of course, you left out all the parts of what he did to you that same night you read the email…

At some point of the conversation, you briefly, again leaving out certain details as you didn’t want to…shock them, you left out quite a bit at the mentioning of your encounter with Samuel months back, merely stating that the meeting was unpleasant and that Heeseung helped you out. Leaving it at that, your mother expressed joy and excitement, your father was a bit silent but overall happy at sensing how happy you sounded.

“We should meet the young man.” Your father stated.

Your smile disappeared as your breath hitched. You knew how your father was, considering you were the only daughter and his little girl.

“Um..sure, we can meet up sometime.”

“What about this weekend? You guys should be having a small break because it’s a national holiday.”

“Oh…yeah. Well let me check with him and his schedule because the drive, I’ll need to see if he’s-“

“Don’t be silly sweetpea, your mother and I will drive there. One of my old friends is up that way, we will stay at his place and treat you both to dinner.” Your father insisted. You gulped in response.

“Oh…that sounds nice.” Noting that even before Samuel became…well a jerk to say the least, in high school before the steroid usage, when he was well liked, you recall when your father met Samuel during a football game that you attended, dragging your parents along to support Samuel’s team, and introducing him to them. Needless to say, your father was polite but kept an eye on him like a hawk whenever the boy approached you.

After the game, you remembered the conversation that occurred during the car ride home as your father drove with your mother in the front passenger seat, and you seated in the back.

“I don’t like him.” Your father snaps as he drove.

“Honey he’s a nice boy, it’s your first time meeting him, give him a chance.” Your mother replied.

“Nope. These high school and even the college boys walking around here, I know what they’re after.”

“Papa he’s nice and he really likes me. You seemed like you liked him at the game.”

“I was just being nice to get the boy to relax. He’s threatened by my aura, that proves he’s up to no good.”

You and your mother chuckled.

“Papa promise that whenever you see him, you’re going to be nice.”

“I’ll be nice…. but I still don’t like him.”

Finishing the conversation with your parents, you pondered how the meeting was going to go with Heeseung, knowing that he often taps into his Ethan side and displays his dual personality majority of the time to have a balance of character. Though your parents didn’t know about Ethan…or Eden for that matter, you wondered if your father was going to sense something considering him expressing his dislike for Samuel long before he changed kind of indicated that your father was smart and seemed to have a sixth sense regarding young men.

You hear the front door downstairs shut, with Jimmy greeting Heeseung. Your heart stopped beating as you grabbed the wooden box, shoving it underneath the pillow on the bed as you sat next to it, waiting for Heeseung to enter.

He walks in, graced with a long white sleeve shirt, the sleeves traditionally rolled up a quarter way to reveal a bit of his forearms and a pair of light-colored straight jeans, that were fashioned in a worn-out look with holes exposing his kneecaps. Instead of wearing his black cap, he opted for a matching white one, which equally shared the same method of hiding his eyes, leaving only his nose and mouth exposed as the shadow from the bill graces his face.

Seeing a smirk on his lips as he enters, with his eyes absolutely hidden and nowhere in sight, your heart melted. He always looked like he was shrouded with mystery, and it didn’t help that his tall height and broad shoulders that were accentuated by his shirts through their thin material, made him look irresistible.

“Hi babe, how was your day?” you asked as you remained seated, smiling up at him.

He places a small stack of paperwork and folders down on the console table that was propped up against the wall next to the door, along with his keys that he casually tossed on the surface of the table before looking straight at you, his eyes still covered, remaining still for a moment.

After just a momentary pause, he chuckles as he scoffs out.

“What are you hiding?”

“……What?” you inquired slightly wide eyed. You couldn’t hide your smile, yet you were genuinely trying to figure out how he knew you were hiding something.

“You’re hiding something, I can tell.” He claims, his voice smooth and calm as always.

“What makes you say that?” you asked as you side eyed the ground with your eyes remaining wide in shape, trying to refrain from smiling too much and sincerely interested at how he knew.

“I just know, y/n.” He calmly states with his smirk disappearing as he smacks his lips.

“Now tell me, what are you hiding? Or do I have to find out MY way?” He walks over, licking the inside of his cheek as he sits right next to you on the edge of the bed, leaning in with a tilt on his head to avoid hitting you with his cap as he shoves his nose and lips on the nook of your neck, his hand reaching under your shirt. His hand was cold, the smell of his cedar and mint cologne smacks you in the face as he closes the distance.

Getting two soft kisses in before you felt his mouth latch onto your skin, sucking on it with his hand barely making its way under your shirt, with his palm flat on your ribcage, slowly moving up towards the undercarriage of your breasts, you quickly speak out.

“Okay! Okay, yes, I’m hiding something. It was…well, it was supposed to be a surprise.” You sighed as you grab on to his hand that slowly retracted from under your shirt, which had become warm since it had absorbed the temperature from touching your skin.

Without moving his face away from your neck, he continues to suck and display soft and tender kisses on your skin.

“Oh yeah?” he softly speaks in between his pecks.

“…Yeah.” you softly respond, caving into the sensation.

Moving his kisses upward, right under your jawline, his lips slightly apply pressure, causing you to tilt your head back allowing him more access to place more tenderness right underneath the line resting under your ear.

“Well, what is it baby?” Again, he speaks in between his soft kisses on the most tender parts of your neck and jawline.

Gulping from how good he was making you feel, you found yourself melting into him. Furrowing your brows to stand fast, otherwise risking losing yourself and allowing him to continue, which would have further delayed the presentation of your gift, you place your hand on to his forearm as he grabs on to your waistline and pulls you in to deepen his act of oral fixation that he relentlessly displayed on your neck in a soft nature.

You found it nearly impossible to break free from his grasp. Your head tilts back nearly all the way, your hair draping and reaching the lowest part of your backside as your neck becomes fully exposed. Your hand remained on his forearm as you felt his face tilting more to further access various regions of your smooth neckline. Feeling his kisses, you part your mouth open as you face the ceiling, eyes closed, trying to speak, instead, soft whimpers emerge out of your mouth as his lips move upwards to your jawline once more. You feel his incredibly soft kisses, again…and again….and again……and some more.  

“I…need you to stop…”

“Hmm…I don’t think you want me to.”

“I..I can’t…”

“Just tell me baby.”

He continues to speak in between his generous kisses.

“Heeseung…I-“

“Mmhmm?”

His hand roams, making its way back underneath your shirt as the other wraps around your lower backside, grouping the strands of your hair as his fingers dig into your waist, pulling you in deeper. Your breasts press up against his hard and broad chest.

Your face looks away off to the side as his face switches its tilt and starts to kiss the other opposite side of your neck.

Amidst his soft kisses, he whispers with just a hint of a soft tone carried with it.

“Baaaaabyyyyy…you gonna tell me?” he softly breathes against your neck.

“I-I’m trying…”

“Hmph…” He chuckles softly as he kisses your neck once more. “I know you are. Is the big bad wolf distracting you?” he murmurs through his kisses.

“….Yes….”

“Yeah? What else? Tell me, what does the big bad wolf do to you?”

“…. Everything.”

“Yeah? Tell me baby.”

Whimpering as you felt the vibration of his voice tapping your neck as he kisses in between his words, you softly whine out your moans, trembling at the same time.

“Does he lick you?” starting from the base of your neck, he presses the fat part of his tongue on your skin and harshly drags the flat surface of the wet muscle upwards, all the way up to your jawline. Taking both your hands, he applies a double wristlock behind your lower back, leaving you completely trapped as he continues to have you pulled in against his chest, relishing at the sensation of your plush breasts against his hard chest muscles. Upon feeling his tongue leaving a trail of his warm saliva on your throat, you yelp out.

“Y-yes!”

“Mmm…does he like to smell you?” pressing his nose into your neck as you turn your face away in the opposite direction, wriggling your wrists as they remained firmly gripped by his large hands behind your back, you feel the peak sensation as he buries his face into the most sensitive part of your neck and takes deep inhales against your skin.

“Hee-Heeseung!” You whimper and moan out.

“Well, does he?” He takes in another deep inhale, rubbing the tip of his nose against you.

“…Y-yea…”

“What else?”

You remained speechless as you continued to whimper.

“I bet I know.” He calmly states as he kisses. Slightly turning your face away more, beginning to pant, you feel yourself becoming weak with an immense tingling sensation building up in your gut.

“Does he….bite?” the moment he finished his wording, his teeth latches on to your neck, he bites down, hard enough where the pain accompanies the thrill of pleasure.

“Ye-yes! He does! He does…” you gasped out, jumping slightly as your rear detaches from the bedding, only to feel him pull you back down by both, the bite he had on you, and the grip of his wristlock on your lower back. He brings you back down to the seated position you were just in as he pulls you closer to his chest, further the depth of his bite. “H-he…he bites…” you whimper out softly upon feeling him pulling you in, getting used to the sharpness of his bite as he flickers his tongue against your skin with his teeth still latched on, leaving his mark.

Hearing him swallow as his teeth dig in deeper, you hear the gulp travel down his throat as he pinches with his canines. Releasing only for a moment, licking over the punctured marks in your skin, he tilts his head to the other side of your neck.

“Say it.”

Looking away with your neck exposed, you pant and moan out, barely coherent.

“Say it baby.”

You side eyed him with a hint of worry on your expression.

“You know what I want you to say….so say it.” He firmly expresses as he licks the area of your neck opposite of the bite mark he left, he was prepping the area with his saliva, softening the skin.

“Saaaay it.” He whispers.

“..Mmphm…come kiss me and bite me Heeseung.” You moaned out.

With a sweet tender peck on the spot, he follows it up with a bite, decorating both sides of your neck with the markings of his canines.

Yelping, you nearly jumped up once more. Expecting your reaction to repeat from the first bite, he was more prepared for it as he held you tightly, restricting your movement completely as you had no choice but to sit there and feel the sting of his teeth.  

After a few seconds, he licks over the mark, followed by a tender kiss as he pulls his head back just slightly to admire his work.

“Mmm…wanna keep going?” he smirks as he tilts his head to look at your face, which had still been looking away.

“I…I do but…I want to give you, my present.” You softly moan out.

Smirking, he hums.

“Hmm…okay, show me, and I’ll eat you later. Big bad wolf will wait.” He remarks, gently releasing you from the wrist lock he had you in.

With his hands resting on your waist, you slightly turn halfway, reaching over and grabbed the small wooden box underneath the pillow.

Looking down at the box, since you were feeling too flushed to make eye contact with him, you presented the art craft of its decorative feature as you held it out with your strong hand, while the other was holding on to his forearm as he maintained his hold on your waist.

“I got this today with Emily and Jake.” You softly stated, still staring at the box with an aloof expression, feeling slightly nervous but focusing so much to not let it show.

He looks down at the box and you feel one of his hands release your waist as the other remains latched on with your hand resting on his forearm. Taking the box gently, he looks at it with a smirk.

He doesn’t immediately say anything but continues to softly smile as he opens the lid. The small creaking sound of the box opening signified its age and craftmanship. He mentally noted it and already found that the box itself was special since it contained so many years of history in its structure, which he appreciated more than you would ever know, since he wasn’t a fan of generic lavish and materialize items.

Heeseung carried a deep love for art in many forms, though he displayed a talent with music, he loved and admired all types of crafts.

Once the box was fully opened, his smirk slowly fades as he sat there with the open box in his hand. With heavy lids, he merely just sat and stared at the rings with his smirk nearly fading in full, just a hint of it remained off the corner of his mouth.

He almost looked tired as his lids lowered, making him look like he was dazed out. He remained as such for a moment, making your heartbeat in an overwhelming sense as you weren’t sure if he liked it or if he was possibly thinking of something else.

“….They’re bands that I got at an antique store…they belonged to a couple that survived World War II together.” You softly spoke as you look at his side profile. He remained quiet, still staring at the bands with the box in his hand, not moving an inch.

“Do…do you like it?” you softly asked, slightly worried from his reaction, or rather, lack thereof.

“Yeah…yeah I do.” He softly states with a low tone, his gaze still on the bands as he faintly nods.

“…You do?” you genuinely asked in a soft yet surprised manner.

“Mmhmm.” Again, he responds without moving or breaking his gaze from the bands. He was so calm and neutral; your level of nervousness rose to a heightened level.

“You would wear the silver one and I wear the gold one.” He softly remarks, looking down at the bedding.

Upon hearing your statement, he finally releases your waist with his other hand, never breaking his gaze on the bands, he takes out the silver band and places the box on his lap. Not once did he look at you, he remained admiring the matching bands.

Slipping on the band on his ring finger, he scoffs.

“How did you get my ring size?”

Explaining that you remembered his ring attached to the two keys he made for you, he nodded with a slight raise of his eyebrows.

“Clever girl.” He softly remarks as he stares at the band, now wrapped delicately around his finger.

Picking the box back up from his lap, he takes the gold band and sets the box off to the side, turns to you and takes your hand. Slipping the ring on your finger, he places his hands on his waist and tilts his head, admiring how it looked on you.

He smirks and tilts his head back for you to see his eyes, he raises a brow and chuckles as he asks you what the scripture on the rings meant.

Explaining that the scroll of the translation was inside the box under the display cushion, he turns back around to grab the box and takes out the scroll.

“It’s Sumerian.” He states as he read the contents of the scroll explaining what language the rings were decorated with.

“Yes.”

He continues to read the translation, seeing the meaning of each ring, he blinked a couple of times before turning back around, grabbing the box, and placing the scroll back inside, closing it.

Taking his hand and holding your chin up, he brings you forward as he peers down at you from above from under the bill of his cap. His infamous side smirk displayed on his mouth as he softly chuckles out.

“Hmph…my girl.” His voice was low. It was dangerously low, the lowest it’s ever been, even more than his Ethan side.

Trembling upon hearing the depth of his tone, he leans in while staring deep into your eyes. Closing all but just a hair of a distance between your lips, he softly speaks against them.

“You love me that much?” he asks in a near whisper.

“Yes.” You softly respond, your voice was shaky.

“Huh…how’d I get so lucky?” he smirks as his gaze shift to your lips.

You remained silent; your body continues to tremble.

“I don’t think…it was luck.” You softly murmur out. He raises a brow and hums for an explanation, intrigued by your statement.

After explaining that the rings didn’t need any resizing, that both were a perfect fit, your sentimentality of the situation got the better of you as you told him,

“I don’t know…sometimes, I just feel like I was meant to belong to you.” You slightly shrug your shoulders as you look down at the ring on your finger.

He sits there, eyeing you down with lazy lids as the look of ultimate relaxation graced his face.

“Hmm…I like that.” He merely states, as he leans in and places a warm kiss on your cheek.

“Remind me to find and fall in love with you all over again in the next life.” He whispers against your cheek, “when we get older of course, I’m not going to need that reminder for a while.” He sneakily smiles against your skin.

You chuckle as he hugs you, smothering you with more kisses.

“Oh…one more thing.” You softly state.

“Hmm?”

“….My parents want to drive up here this coming weekend and….meet you.”

“Oh yeah?” he buries his nose on the top of your head, expressing his words very calmly and almost, nonchalantly.

“Yeah.”

“Let’s do it.”

You swallowed nervously as you display a smile, refraining from talking about your father’s protective nature.

[mariamagdalenagf]

want to preface that this is more of a journaling situation that me making a statement about anything at all so please don't take it that way if you read it

religious ocd & questioning rambling below the cut. Also, please donate to the Palestinian gofundmes I've reblogged, or reblog them yourself if you can't.

so like i have no idea how many of you know me from my last blog, quite a few of you i'm sure, but for those of you who don't, the Lore is that I had a very very traumatising bout of religious ocd when I was like 16/17 that got me diagnosed and made me Sort Of Want to Kill Myself because I forced myself to be a Perfect Catholic for like a year. Including the not being gay bit. anyway to get myself out of it I just did a DIY religious studies degree, learning about every religion I could think of to find a way out-- I was never totally happy being catholic tbc. the first time I can remember feeling awe for a religion was when my school taught us about Islam when I was 12, spent years wishing I'd been born Muslim. Anyhow I went through a long while considering paganism-- Norse and Hellenic-- and then Islam again, and then decided to try to learn about Judaism since I had never learned anything much about it, and I fell so deeply in love with it that I genuinely think it both saved my life and my religiosity. I wouldn't be religious now or healthy now if it weren't for Judaism. I've talked to rabbis briefly and gone back and forth and chosen Hebrew names and gone through cycles and cycles of deciding to convert and backing out etc etc. I'm still Catholic now, five years on, and I do think my personal religion, my personal worldview, whatever, is informed by my being Latine, and by paganism, and in some ways by Islam, but the framework, bedrock, etc-- it *is* Judaism. I've been, lately, growing far more attached to my Catholicism, but it will never be a perfect or full Catholicism. The Church has done unspeakable harm; to me, personally, to my ancestors, is doing harm now-- I am beyond glad that the Church has taken a staunch stance against genocide, but it is impossible to forget that they once committed many, some against my own people. It's hard to forget how easily my love for myself and my faith splinters under the pressure of the company of those I am meant to share this faith with. I have found beautiful community with other religious people of colour and religious lgbt people, but that is never what I have experienced in church irl. Irl, church almost ruined me. It doesn't even matter to me anymore, really. G-d is bigger than that; I don't need anything other than Them and the people I love, and a quiet church to go to when I can. I'd like to get to a place where I can go to Mass without wanting to dissociate but that isn't what is missing. Something will always be missing, because the truth of the matter is that I was born to be no singular thing. Various polytheistic deities have visited my dreams, I read tarot, my mother saw ghosts, I am gay, I would have preferred to have been born a man. I'd like to go to Mass, but I'm never going to fully belong there, or even fully want it as much as I've wanted to be Jewish, which itself feels impossible, but I'm glad to want it-- or have wanted it-- if that makes sense. Wanting that has made me better. Made the rest of it worth it, even if I'm not sure I want it anymore.

It's winter now and G-d feels very close and the only name I have for what I am is Catholic because what else is there. That would be a lot to walk away from, I'm not sure there's anyone who would want to receive me were I to walk toward something else, so that's where I am now. All of this-- it kind of got away from me-- was really to say that the nativity is beautiful, but it feels empty, somehow. I'm glad it's happening, but something essential is rotting in the world, maybe? I don't know. I spent years and years and years refusing to do anything other than love the world, stubbornly, spitefully, and i do love the world but I do think I lost something somewhere over the last two years. Something splintered. The rot's always been there, I guess. I knew that; I'm a result of it. It stains me and my family and my homeland. I once saw someone say that we have always lived in the post-apocalypse which I think is what I have been feeling lately. All is aftermath. It could have been beautiful here, and sometimes it still is. Sometimes I could cry when the air is cold and I'm clean and everything is so quiet, I could cry or sing or just be so still and at peace with just how much I love life, and everyone, and everything. So like, I know it's worth it. I know the beauty will continue. I do think it's important, though, as the year comes to a close, to reckon with everything that's been lost, everything we've never had, everything that hurts.

Anyway, I don't know. None of this is about me. I'm listening to Visions of Gideon, it's December, G-d is rattling in the air with the wind. What else is there to do but think

[motionjames]

Wake up girlies, it's time to return to the frontline!

Guess who has insomniaaaa! 🤗💕💕

A month of cramps, nausea, increasingly worse insomnia (but a strangely good mood) has lead me down the path once again. I caught wind of some strange "gfl2" thing and after being struck with nostalgia, I grabbed bluestacks and fell into hell once more. I'd deleted gfl off my phone simply because it took too much space but now that it's on my computer, it's become DANGEROUS...! Github and clip studio up front with logistics running forever in the background. Yes, the ideal working experience.

Anyhow, everyone say hello to Contender.

I've been making more progress in these past two days than I had in the entire two months I spent with my new account because I realized how to (partially) Not Be An Idiot. Turns out there's a thing called "anchored construction" and you can get some pretty nice units (eventually) if you realize it exists! Wow! I got the girly and now I'm working on grabbing Carcano because she is pretty but also insane skillz.

Also, there's a discounted gatcha running right now and that means I can finally get over my mental block and spend tokens... I was surprised at how easy it's been to acquire them, so I've just been shilling em out. My dorm was totally bare until now. I'm sorry, everynyan...

As for actual gameplay, I finally made it past 2-6. It might seem like a simple thing to most but I was yet again, being an idiot. I was under the impression that I HAD to have dupes of the girls to dummy link them when I actually was swimming in dummy cores 🤦🏽‍♂️ What's wrong with me... Well, I jumped over that hurdle, blasted through the emergency missions, and am finishing chapter 3. The first parts arent so bad when you learn how to read! 😃😃😃

First eschalon is good, it's the standard one that everyone seems to use to clear the early game. This second one is a WIP mess that I'm readying for night missions. You see, I'm really hurting for half-decent SMGs and rifles, the second one there is kinda lacking in defense/fire power... I wanna create a decent second eschalon and night mission groupie but I gotta figure out what units to invest in. I hope for Carcano soon. She is cute. Also, feel free to berate me for my bad decisions and suggest decent compositions. I am so lacking in SMGs that dont immediately explode (mpk you are so cute but so stupid). I'm currently looking at friend's compositions to figure out what formations work...

In completely different news and only further proving how dense I am, I only recently learned that Girl of the Bakehouse was related to GFL. I've had my eye on Reverse Collapse for a while now since it's a remake (of a remake?! I didnt play the previous one) of a visual novel I played in 2012 or so. The original vn was made in 2009 in like Kirikiri script and I was a young lad very fixated on all things with girls and guns (Gunslinger Girl was and still is a favorite of mine, I would've read it one summer at my Uncle's out on the front porch). There's an english patch now, but back then it was only in Chinese so I had to use text extracting and image translators, looking up the characters as I went. I got a cup of coco and opened up a patched version last night for old times sake. It's clearly a doujin work with those rough edges but it's so damn confident in its presentation you can't not get swept up in the presentation. The sound work make it very immersive. I highly reccomend reading it if you want a solid, emotional war story. Looking at the sepia soaked sketches, down-to-earth narrative, dense wordbuilding and general war otaku sentimentality... It really predicted a lot of my tastes, huh... 😅

Behold, teh wolfguy...

Back to work. Logistics still running. I can and WILL continue being stupid. The nostalgia is really strong, I'm tempted to draw fanart despite the sour memories of the past. Again, please berate me and tell me of your team compositions. I think my ID is 772030 but I promise you, I won't be any good on teh battlefield 😇 this machine runs off hopes and dreams, not realities!

[simmetrycal]

bile of betrayal ˚ · .

synopsis

part three of the mystery girl series! raymond has nobody to blame but himself for what transpires.

word count: 11.2K (jesus christ)

(18+) MINORS DNI or i'll snipe ya mama.

cw: smut, m!receiving handjob/oral, slight objectification, infidelity, angst, divorce

a/n: has it been like a month? yes. am i EXTRAORDINARILY sorry? yes i am! anyhow please enjoy, i spent so much time on this. (excuse typos they seem to be inevitable with me)

the pitter-patter of the rain sounds light now, especially compared to the huge drops humming on the roof earlier. it’s only a soft noise, enough to help one sleep.

though, not raymond— it woke him.

he tried turning so at least one of his ears could muffle the tapping noise with the pillow. but as he turned he got a glimpse of the pink haired girl in his bed.

it wasn’t a dream although it may have been a miracle. he let his eyes close for a moment of relief. she really is in his bed right now. she really did come home with him after the party. she’s in his actual house, lying just inches away from him. she didn’t leave or disappear.

if she had, it’d make raymond question if she even came over in the first place. if maybe he was crazy and imagined it out of some obsessed delusion.

raymond gets up to use the restroom, careful not to wake vanessa. he grabs his phone and peeks outside the blinds— it’s still pitch black out.

4:07, his phone reads. as he walked, raymond’s eyes grew wide, seeing the tens of messages jia left for him. three images and nineteen texts.

oh my fucking. god.

the photos were of raymond and vanessa in the driveway, then walking to the house, then going through the door. all were black and white screenshots from the security camera footage that records the front of their home whenever there’s movement.

raymond carefully inspected the photos further behind the door of the bathroom in an absolute panic, zooming in to see if any of them were convicting enough. he stood there, gripping his phone in one hand and the counter with the other under the bright, harsh light.

one of them, the last one, had just slightly showed raymond’s hand on vanessa’s back, guiding her in the house. but the pictures are dark, and perhaps jia hadn’t noticed.

no.

jia definitely noticed. she absolutely would examine every little detail of the footage. he’s obsessive and anxious like that.

raymond rereads her texts, to which there were a lot of. all consisted of “raymond, who is that woman?” or “answer me”, “who is she?”

his mind immediately began thinking of every possible excuse and explanation.

she’s just a work friend.

or.. she’s a friend’s cousin.

she needed a place to stay for the night.

her car broke down.

she’s ash’s.. something— someone.

it’s thundering outside.

no, all of these are stupid.

but he can’t just tell her the truth.. can he?

raymond wishes he could. in fact, he wishes he could take a photo of him and vanessa up close and personal in their bed and send it as a response to jia.

but no, that would completely ruin his life.

just call her, come up with something raymond thought as he ringed her.

it continues to ring and ring and ring but it simply goes to voicemail. “this is jia taylor, leave a message.”

it almost hurts to hear her voice in the recording. almost. but not quite.

if raymond couldn’t reach her he should at least text back. text back something.. nonchalant.

ew, it was terrible but he forced himself to hit send.

“it’s nothing to worry about, honey. i’ll explain when you’re home.”

the honey was pushing it but he had to make sure he kept it cool. to not raise her suspicions any higher.

but raymond was anything but cool as he shut his phone off. he let go of the cold counter and tried to take a deep breath. we’ll play it off as a silly misunderstanding, but for now, there’s nothing left to do. at least, that’s what he tried to convince himself of.

he left the bathroom. he was trembling on the inside, coming back to bed to the woman he was cheating on his wife with.

that’s right, he needed to admit this to himself.

this is cheating.

jia is still his wife.

and he is lying to the both of them.

so.. why is he erect?

why is his cock hard at the moment he fell back into bed with vanessa. as he holds her again and looks all over her with lidded eyes?

the blush hair. the tattoos. the lips. the body.

the shirt that is his and is riding up her thighs, exposing her red lace underwear. the color matches her nails.

raymond bites down hard, his hand coming to his mouth to cover any unexpected sound he might make as he looks at her.

he averted his gaze. this is inappropriate. he cannot be looking at her like that especially when she’s laying in his wife’s spot!

shit.

just turn around, maybe it’ll go away.

“it” being his rock hard erection.

but raymond can’t get comfortable, he tosses and he turns and he just can’t lay right. not even after a few minutes. half an hour. one hour. he was looking nowhere but the ceiling or occasionally the rainy window the whole time, internally begging for his hard-on to pass.

fuck this.

he begins to sit up, covering his tent with his hand. god knows if she’s looking— that’d be so embarrassing. he double checks that she’s still sleeping.

raymond contemplates going to the bathroom again. this time for a different reason— its early enough to act like he’s simply getting ready for work. perhaps he can turn on the shower and let his wild imagination help him release the pent up energy he had in his cock. his hand is always enough, and he got quite used to masturbating when he and jia cut sex with each other out of their lives.

he considers it. running his hand down and ever so slightly touching the tip over his pants.

he accidentally lets out a small, breathy groan and his brows furrow. why is it so sensitive?

raymond closes his eyes and gives in again. it feels.. better than it normally does? why?

his hand comes to the shaft, gripping it with a gentle squeeze.

if he kept going, he’d probably cum soon.

snapping him out of the daze is vanessa stirring beside him. he fixes himself right quick, before looking down at her.

she yawns and blinks awake, confusedly taking in her surroundings. she sees raymond and appears to blink awake a bit more.

she gives him a little smile but is confused as to why he’s sitting up. perhaps he just woke up right before her.

sure.

raymond inhales, watching her find her glasses on the bedside table. “how’d you sleep?” he asks her in his deep, husky morning voice. it comes out more vibrate-y than he expects.

“great,” she says, putting them on. “really great, actually.”

“i’m glad.”

“how about you?”

shoot.

“..perfect,” he lies, acting like he didn’t just spent the past hour tossing and turning because he saw her.. red.. panties— which are still in view.

he makes the mistake of looking down for a split second and her cheeks become the color of her hair, immediately covering herself.

“i’m so sorry, i’m usually, uh, more decent.” she gives an embarrassed laugh. god- it’s fucking sexy.

get ahold of yourself, raymond.

“it’s no worries.. at all.” raymond cleared his throat and looked away, his tent becoming a smidge more obvious at the recent glance he got at her.

she notices it. oh, she so clearly notices it— hiding her smirk is difficult.

“so what’s that?” she asks, knowing it’ll make it worse.

“uh,” raymond shakes his head and fixes the blanket. “nothing.”

“are you sure?”

“mhm..”

..

“you don’t need any…. assistance?”

fuck. raymond’s eyes shut, his cheeks becoming red. how is he getting this flustered over such a tiny act?

of course, it’s nothing to be too ashamed of. both of them aren’t stupid- they know exactly what kind of flirtatious, sexual chemistry they have. last night would have never happened if they weren’t aware of it.

he doesn’t know what to say- so he stays silent.

“it seems like you might.” she practically whispers. “just.. nod, if you do. if not, i’ll lay off.”

raymond’s slow, no eye contact nod comes before he can even think about it. it was a knee jerk reaction.

she pushes away the blanket and slides herself closer to him, sitting right by his thigh.

the sight is more embarrassing now that the covers are gone.

still, there’s his sweatpants and boxers in the way.

she slowly, seductively shimmies both down, leaving his sensitive, leaking cock to spring out.

raymond’s beyond embarrassed. this is so.. out of place for him. he has never been embarrassed like this sexually. but it’s so, so good.

no one’s ever seen his cock except jia. (and ash from that one time he jumped over the median between the urinals as a joke. needless to say raymond hid from him for a week.)

but now, vanessa’s seeing it. and she’s ogling, her lips parted just barely, then she glances at raymond.

“you’re big..”

he’s about as red as his throbbing cock. all his confidence from last night? completely out the window.

without breaking eye contact, she licks her hand slowly. then brings it down, sliding it to the base.

raymond groans through his teeth, looking almost upset. but it’s simply because he’s trying his absolute hardest not to cum immediately.

she picks up on this, her comment laced with fake concern. “are you angry?” she knows he isn’t. vanessa knows how badly raymond is fighting the urge to just cum in her perfect hands— how much he’s concentrating displayed all over his expression.

his cock twitches as she continues her somehow heavenly handjob, collecting more precum from his tip and sliding her hand back to the base.

how is she so good at this?

vanessa gives it the gentlest squeeze before her palm comes up flat on the head— surprising raymond with his embarrassing sudden orgasm.

it was way too early, he had to have lasted less than a minute with her.

“fuck-“ he snaps forward, almost bumping into her head. “i’m sorry, that was so quick.”

she giggles and spreads him cum all over his cock, it drips, trailing down to his balls.

he huffs and continues to apologize, but she’s still staring after minutes. there’s an elephant in the room and it’s raymond’s dick.

“you’re.. still hard.” she says, amazed.

raymond ignores it, “it’ll probably go away soon.”

“are you.. sure?”

well..

no, the reality is.. he wants more.

he wants her mouth.

all. over it.

“because.. i can still help you, if you need.”

“i can’t ask you to do that.” he says, taking her cum covered hands, wanting to clean them.

raymond thinks his own cum must be a burden, a gross mess. jia made him feel that way.

to his astonishment, she brings them up to her lips, raymond still holding them. her tongue comes out and she does the unthinkable.

she licks it.

raymond shuddered and smiled, his cock twitching again. he let go of her, convinced that perhaps she didn’t mind doing this for him.

he’d make it up to her. no matter what.

raymond sat back and let out a shaky breath when vanessa got comfortable leaning down. her ass was in perfect view, red underwear on display behind her.

as if that wasn’t enough, her face was perfect. lips pink and ready, eyes needy and looking into his. no makeup on. she really is perfect raymond thought. and perfectly coming down to his cock.

he involuntarily bucked his hips into her hand right as she guided it to her mouth.

an actual, full groan left raymond when she put the whole head in her mouth. his hand found its way to her pretty pink hair, careful not to push her head down.

he didn’t want to be that guy.

but.. maybe in the future with her if she likes it. wait. what was he thinking? future? he’s getting way too ahead of himself.

her spit runs down the shaft, mixing with his own cum. the sight was absolutely sinful.

what did i do to deserve something like this? i doubt i even do.

raymond never wants this moment to end, it’s utter bliss.

she let herself be sloppy with it. lapping her tongue up and down, unable to fit the whole thing in her mouth though she tried anyway.

the feeling of his tip hitting the back of her throat, making her gag, could have been enough to keep raymond satisfied for the rest of his life it felt like.

the sound, though it shouldn’t have turned raymond on so, was so erotic.

the feeling was so unlike anything he had ever experienced. the insane attraction he feels towards vanessa combined with her heavenly fucking mouth drooling over raymond’s cock, this was too much.

fuck, it was way too much for him. way way way too much. he isn’t used to treatment like this.

“pull off or i’m gonna..” he heavily breathed, “cum in your mouth.”

he felt the smile the muscles in her mouth made but she ignored him, continuing lapping up his dripping cock and balls.

“vanessa,” he muttered. she only smiled more at the sound of her name escaping his lips in such a lewd manner. “stop,” he tries.

no avail.

“seriously, you should g…” he could barely finish his sentence and sure enough in a few seconds raymond tightened up, trying to fight it so he can prolong the feeling but ultimately releasing it all into her mouth with waves of pleasure. his pelvis convulsed with the ropes of cum that shot out.

he lets his head drop on the pillows behind him in utter bliss, riding out the high with vanessa’s hands still stroking his sensitive, twitching member. this must be what pure euphoria feels like— at least in raymond’s case.

how the fuck did he cum not just once but twice in such quick succession? this has never happened. he screwed his eyes shut and part of him worried that when he opens them, everything will be gone.

jia has never once made raymond cum like this. not at all in the 8 years they’ve been together, and certainly has he never felt this from his own hand.

and they have never, not even once, done more than one round in one sitting. in fact, raymond can’t recall jia even wanting to have sex more than twice in one week.

not that raymond ever really had that big of a problem with it. he’s a gentleman of course but..

now.. with this. vanessa making him cum twice? him still being rock hard and unable to be satisfied because she’s still in this goddamn bed with him? in her underwear? in her red.. lace.. underwear.. oh how he desperately wants her pussy. he craves it.

raymond gets up, not caring about the cum making a mess all over the sheets, and gets on top of vanessa in a hurry. he practically tackled her onto her back, showering her in kisses.

she immediately smiles into it, eager to continue and matching raymond’s energy.

“someone can’t get enough,” she says between raymond’s needy, messy kisses.

she allows him to kiss further down her neck, relishing in his hands coming to her hips, gripping them tightly like she’s in a rush to leave.

but she isn’t. vanessa want nothing more than to have raymond show her how he feels. she’s wanted this since the moment they met in the dog park.

perhaps because she’s attracted to him. or perhaps she hasn’t felt this in some time now— someone liking her for who she was, single mother covered in tattoos and all.

not a lot of people liked it. most men were intimidated by it. raymond included but he sees the situation in another light.

he wants her.

and she wants him.

raymond loses his confidence again, still horny enough to burst but shy enough to not go crazy and rip his own t shirt off her. god it looks so good on her body. much better than it does on him.

“take it off, raymond,” she says, locking eyes with him.

it’s all he needs.

he does as he’s told with haste, lifting the fabric over her head and discarding it anywhere. he barely threw it though when his eye fell onto her gorgeous tits.

they’re. huge. and her nipples are pierced. of course her fucking nipples are pierced, how could raymond be surprised?

her spider tattoo on her chest led down to a dripping flower between the cleavage. the design was intricate and flowy. beneath her heavy breasts were two underboob tattoos with the same intricate and flowy manner, it looked to be leaves and vines.

god it was all so beautiful. so artistic and personal and sexy.

he had to grab his cock and look away, hold it tightly and force himself not to cum just by looking at her tits.

what the hell was wrong with him? why is he this horny? it was absurd!

it was difficult to say the least, he nearly let it all go again just at the sight, but he managed. he exhaled and returned, seeing her smirk at him.

she took his hands and led them herself after noticing how frozen and bewildered he was. she led them to her breasts but only for a moment— he’d go too crazy if it was any longer. he instantly misses the way his fingers brushed past the cold metal of her piercings.

his cock felt downright painful.

vanessa slid them down further til they got to her panties. before she let him take them off she guided his hand to feel the bottom.

it was wet. so wet, and hot.

˚ · .

“ash, did you remember to take your adderal?” chantelle says to him from the seat in front of his. ash is currently in the back of a company suv with raymond to his right, headed to a scholarship convention.

the company does this sort of thing each year before the fall semester, and it’s always at a different location.

he kicks chantelle’s seat a bit and tells her no, to which she puts her purse on her lap to look for his extras. she hands one to him and he takes raymond’s water and downs it.

“hey,” raymond snatches it back, wiping the top with his shirt. “that’s disgusting.”

“you’re disgusting,” ash retorts.

such children, chantelle must be thinking.

raymond tsks and looks out the window at the city passing by, but ash continues his antics in being annoying. he paws at his big bicep after a few minutes of silence.

“are you mad at me?”

“no, get off.” raymond shrugs him off but ash won’t relent, shaking him obnoxiously.

“whyyyy~”

“leave me alone.”

“are you pent up?”

…?!

“what the fuck,” raymond whisper shouts. why would ash ask that in a silent car?

besides, it’s been two months since vanessa and raymond started having sex. in fact, they secretly see each other multiple times a week, often at night.

he was the opposite of pent up— he was free.

ever since that morning, everything changed. and raymond knew it would, especially when he was so beyond late for work because he had to take vanessa back to her car that was stranded at ash’s house, come back home to a disgusting bed, clean that up, then put back all the photos of him and jia on the walls, take her stuff out of the closet and place it back where it goes, and on top of that he had to get ready for work.

raymond didn’t clock in until lunch that day, for the first time ever.

though, he wouldn’t have had it any other way. he had something for practically the first time in his life, true sexual pleasure.

and something had to be said about the excitement. it was liberating.

when jia came home that monday night, raymond managed to smooth things out with the whole front camera situation. he explained how vanessa was a friend of a friend that needed a place to stay.

jia was sour about it for a week, constantly bringing up nagging questions and being insecure about it. raymond shouldn’t have gone about it the way he did- but he soothed her worries by telling her it was absolutely nothing, and not a single thing happened that night. he told her he slept on the couch anyway.

he knows he should have confessed, come clean to her and tell her everything. it would solve a lot actually, and then maybe jia would finally sign off on the divorce papers instead of just saying she’ll get around to it later.

raymond laid awake one night, her by his side sleeping with her back towards him. he wonders how she’d react to him telling her he’s been having an affair.

that vanessa is his new sex parter and had been for a few weeks at that point.

but perhaps it was more than just sex. perhaps he really did care about what vanessa talked about when they’d go get late night dinners. they got to know each other in a new way and raymond noticed he started telling her things he’d never even mutter to jia.

things about himself. his worries, his feelings, his love for things, his thoughts, his family. things jia only knew fractions of.

and raymond would always listen intently to vanessa’s words. anything she talked about, ever. he was there. especially when she mentioned her son, eli, who raymond was growing fond of.

raymond and vanessa spent a couple hours at the phone store together after work a few days after the party with vanessa’s broken, waterlogged samsung. he insisted on taking her there to buy her a new one, afterall, it was his fault in a way that she was at that party. and absolutely his fault that they were by the pool.

he ended up choosing a brand new iphone for her, which she insisted wasn’t necessary but caved when raymond placed a hand on her back.

he was her first new contact, and later that day she called him at dinner. raymond abruptly left his seat across jia to head into the laundry room and take the call. jia was annoyed but she just went right back to watching her show whilst eating.

raymond was pleased to hear her voice, smiling to himself as he leaned against the ongoing dryer, listening to her ramble about how to work an iphone and how it’s so different than an android.

it’d be a lie to say raymond wasn’t grinning ear to ear during that.

he explained a few things to her and proceeded to ask about her day before he heard eli whining in the background. she had to go but promised to call him later.

of course, he waited.

perhaps too long. perhaps he should’ve just gone to bed with jia that night and put his status on do not disturb instead of being on the phone with her later like teenagers while he cleaned his whole downstairs.

he tried to hold back certain words incase jia was listening, talking like how he would to any friend, but sometimes he’d accidentally let out a few things that friends might not tell each other. things like “i’m sure you wear it well,” and “oh yeah?”. but he made sure to stay quiet and be alert to any noises coming from upstairs.

at some point jia did come down but only for a moment. she went to the kitchen and grabbed a ziploc bag and headed right back upstairs. raymond paid no mind to her actions at all.

days turned weeks and weeks turned months of raymond and vanessa getting up to.. nefarious activities.

“have her back here by midnight mister!” venus always called out on the doorstep. she was vanessa’s friend and work colleague who often babysat whenever collin or eli’s grandmother couldn’t. raymond will never forget the sight of them chasing vanessa’s big doberman when she ran out of the house.

venus was nice but they reminded raymond of ash in the most uncanny way. the high strung energy, the constant meme quotes flying out their mouth, gosh they’d get along way too well if they ever encountered one another.

when nobody could watch eli, raymond would hire a short notice sitter simply for the sake of taking vanessa to his car or to a hotel room.

he’s spent so much money on hotel rooms recently but he doesn’t give a shit.

he couldn’t bring her home anymore, what with jia never leaving the house.

she would ask where he was when he’d get back but it was always a work related excuse. “the marketing team is in shambles again, i’m working both them and finance,” he’d tell her exasperatedly. it wasn’t a full lie— ash did end up convincing raymond to be the marketing director for two weeks.

it was more like 6 weeks to jia though..

another finance member, hans, took over raymond’s position temporarily but only for a few days before he had no idea what he was doing. so raymond was juggling the two positions at the same time.

hans is smart, but absentminded sometimes. raymond thinks he’s a total twink and he is; he’s young-looking and skinny and has neat platinum hair. raymond is also aware that he and agnes have some sort of work/personal life rivalry. though, he’s good at his job, so it’s none of his business what hans gets up to outside of this office.

raymond by all means doesn’t have to stay after work most days but he found himself telling jia he absolutely needed to. sometimes he “had to stay” until really late, late hours of the night.

when they arrived at the venue raymond stepped out of the suv, grateful to be away from ash’s cloud of bond 9 cologne and his candy covered fingers. he watched ash run up to the doors in his nice suit and rapidly push the hand sanitizer button.

at least he’s self aware.

he accidentally got hand sanitizer on his pants, but they were a deep black and it was hardly visible. his pants matched his shirt and he wore a shiny dark blue tie.

it wasn’t often that ash wore black button ups, everyone was super used to seeing him in his usual white shirt and black blazer combo with the black tie. it was a nice change of pace— it’s no denying he’s extraordinarily attractive, everyone thought it. even if some don’t admit it.

raymond looked like his normal self with his slicked back blonde hair without a strand out of place and his blue strapped lanyard always around his neck. only this time his shirt was a pleasant shade of green— a color he used to hate until recently..

“raymond, please go get set up with everyone else,” chantelle says, tapping her foot against the concrete when she notices he’s simply standing there.

this wasn’t raymond’s first time at a convention but it was his first time attending one of this scale. the civic center was absurdly massive and there were people at every entrance, vendors bringing in tables and equipment and merchandise.

so many of the company’s warehouse employees were helping setting up, raymond felt bad for having never even seen them before.

ash seemed to know all of them and ray was jealous about that. of course he knew all of them. of course he was going over to dap them up and give them a helping hand even though that wasn’t his job. of course he knows all their names. actually its so far away from his position it’s almost scoff worthy.

but raymond would never scoff. he wishes it was him helping the warehouse workers bring in the merchandise because he’d be more helpful that way. ash always beats him to it, the good deeds.

he’s too much of a good person. raymond has a hard time finding any reason why ash would ever want to be friends with him.

“raymond,” chantelle said through her teeth, covering a microphone attached to a headset. “get in there, now.”

raymond quickly headed through the big doors after chantelle’s second warning and helped set up. everything needed to be perfect, as it was not only a scholarship event but also a demonstration for incoming shareholders and investors.

wayne, ash’s father and head chairman, should be here in an hour, but even the thought of him being around made raymond sweat.

he’s never around him, let alone ever talking to the guy. ash is sort of the buffer between the company employees like raymond and the practically untouchable board of directors. perhaps that’s why he’s liked so much— because he actually comes downstairs to everyone and communicates. none of the other twelve chairpeople ever do that.

especially the elusive wayne solace.

raymond took in the sight of the inside of the civic center. it was huge and modern and the roof was all glass to let in skylight. there was even a giant growing tree in the middle. huge double escalators on either side of the main part of the building, going up to who knows how many floors.

so many people bustling around setting up for the convention, including ash.

after some time it was all finished and put up, looking more like a whole attraction rather than a booth. some companies simply had a few folding tables, with merchandise spread along it and a backdrop behind them.

solace enterprises’ backdrop wasn’t made of cloth, but rather a custom wall with the logo engraved. there were hanging banners and lights and a ridiculous amount of company swag. things like pens, mugs, hats, apparel, keychains, etcetera, all with the logo engraved. they even have dark blue balloons.

none of that was the real attraction though, the attraction was the huge solar panels that solace enterprises specialized in.

ash was by no means an engineer but he was proud to talk about everything he learned and knows about renewable energy and what the company does.

raymond on the other hand isn’t involved at all, he simply comes to work everyday for what he’s getting paid to do, which is organize funds, and can go days without even thinking about solar power.

as ash talked to patrons, raymond stood on standby, waiting for ash to cue him in for any finance questions. which did sometimes happen with potential investors. though, most of the time it was students coming by signing up for the scholarship raffles and taking the free merchandise.

it made ash smile when anyone would immediately wear any of the apparel and use one of the pens to sign up for the sweepstakes.

what was interesting about this event was that the scholarship raffles require no essay, just a name, school, and contact information on the back of the ticket. it was different than the usual scholarships solace enterprises gives out for more unique and hard working students that provide a well written essay about their academic and personal careers. those are worth more money and are available to apply for all year round.

ash isn’t allowed to know the financial secrets them though, orders from wayne. how most of the reason why they offer scholarships in the first place is so that they don’t have to pay a certain percentage in taxes. it’d crush ash if he found out it wasn’t because wayne cares about young scholars receiving aid.

raymond chatted with his admin, hans, about strictly work. even though hans tried making everything about his own life. he wasn’t being distasteful though, it’s just raymond had absolutely no interest becoming friends with the littler man.

he didn’t notice any commotion until hans did, reading his face and following his eye line. he was watching wayne make himself through the convention, talking to security people on his way up.

he was outwardly kind but everyone knew on the inside he didn’t care about much. including ash. and including his employees.

he shook everyone’s hand politely but greeted ash in an unprofessional way. but as it was, they were father and son, so all was well. he ruffled his hair up and smiled his wrinkly, silver fox smile.

“hey there champ,” he says, taking in ash. it looks like he hasn’t seen him in maybe a week or longer. “good job on running things here, you’re turnin’ into me!”

ash smiled, appreciative to be getting praise by his father, who isn’t the best. “yeah, don’t worry dad im holding down the fort.” he says proudly, placing his hands on his hips.

“thank you buddy i appreciate it, but i’ll take it from here.”

ash seemed to deflate a tiny bit, he liked meeting new people and shaking hands and telling investors about solar energy.

but, realistically he probably wasn’t getting the company many new shareholders with the way he talks. it’s very light and cool and not as serious as wayne makes it. wayne was good at convincing people to do lots of things he wanted.

ash wandered over to raymond, who still needed to be on standby but ash didn’t care. he wanted to get chillidogs and nothing was going to stop him. he dragged raymond away towards the exit with him, knowing hans could handle any finance questions anyone might have.

they didn’t come with their cars so the two walked to the nearest hot dog stand in the crisp fall air.

raymond never opposed to come, in fact he was grateful to be away from it all. there were so many people inside and around that building that it made him feel suffocated. the breeze outside helped him relax.

raymond thought ash was mad as he watched him walk in front of him with his hands shoved in his pockets, being silent. it wasn’t until ash turned around to ask raymond if he even likes chilli dogs before he realized that ash seems like he doesn’t even know what being mad is.

it’s like ash is physically unable to get angry.

ash watched raymond stop in his tracks. “what? they’re not that gross, sonic eats them all the time! hey you’re kinda like shadow don’t you th-“

“shut up.” raymond said, pointing towards a building across from them.

it was a tattoo shop. the tattoo shop. the big sign above it read Bleeding Ink.

“oh my gosh is that where she works?” ash says, but it doesn’t seem to reach raymond, who was already looking both ways to cross the street. they weren’t even at a crosswalk, but he didn’t care.

ash, confused, chases after him. “well, wait for me!”

it stunned raymond that he didn’t ever know where the place of this was. he only picked her up from her house usually and when she told her where she worked it may or may not have flew over his head while he was looking.. elsewhere.

at one point he was at work desperately trying to remember the name of the shop so he could look it up but no luck. though, seeing the sign say the name of the place he instantly remembered. but come to think of it he could have asked chantelle, she’d been here prior.

he opened the door to the shop with ash close on his heels, hearing a bell jingle above them.

the energy hit them like a bus. it was calm and warm and smelled like incense and cleaning solutions.

“welcome in,” a voice said unamused from behind the counter.

“hey!” ash said before raymond could shut him up. his lips were a thin line as he pulled ash back from the counter.

“oh my god,” the voice said, peaking up in interest. “well, well, well.”

raymond didn’t recognize the man, in fact he knew nobody in the tattoo shop, vanessa didn’t introduce him to a single person in her life, except for eli of course but it happened to be so because of the dog park. and in a way he knew venus as well, but he was unsure if the fellow tattoo artist worked here or they knew vanessa from another shop. he hoped to see at least one other familiar face.

“if it isn’t hot-shot raymond and,” the man gazed his brown eyes over ash, who was standing around like a lost puppy. “you must be asher.”

“just ash is fine!” he corrects, coming over to look through the binder of designs on the counter absentmindedly.

raymond shook his head at ash being so carefree with anyone randomly knowing who he was before ever meeting them. like, didn’t that at least alarm him in any way?

“how do you know my name?” raymond asks, watching as the tanned man with interesting off-white tattoos across his face.

he chuckles, almost sinister. “i know more than you think.”

fuck, what if he knows about jia? no, he can’t possibly, he’s kept it a secret from vanessa.

he means to tell her.. at some point. vanessa deserves to know.

but for now raymond can’t get enough of that bachelor feeling, and for the first time in his life he has someone he wants. truly, wants.

he plans to tell vanessa soon, because if it gets any further and she finds out on her own, raymond knows it’ll be bad.

the man made his way to the back, leaving raymond concerned (and ash rather unconcerned).

raymond can hear what he’s saying still, just in earshot.

“hey nessi,” he says and a tattoo machine stops behind the corner. raymond’s heart lurches. “you have a special guest.”

“im in the middle of something ethan,” her voice is like sweet whiskey to raymond’s alcoholic ears. he missed her and it’d only been mere days since he last had her in his arms.

“you’re gonna wanna see who it is.”

raymond immediately fixes his shirt, tucking it into his pants in the back and runs a hand through his hair. ash sees this and rolls his eyes with a smirk. as he looks over, he sees a man in further in the room to raymond’s right. he’s got a mask on but he could tell he had piercings out the wazoo. his left eyebrow has a similar one to raymond and he could see more jewelry coming up on his nose bridge.

ouch. ash scrunched his own nose, imagining the pain it must’ve been for that guy. but jesus, was he hot.

they made eye contact as he disinfected a large needle, which made ash sick to his stomach. this making him realize he might have a phobia of this kind of thing.

still, he couldn’t pry his gaze away from the man with piercing eyes.

that was, until vanessa hurriedly came out from behind the corner when she heard that raymond was here, ripping off a pair of black rubber gloves.

raymond saw her looking absolutely beautiful coming up to him with excitement and couldn’t contain his smile. he took her hands and looked her up and down.

fucking teenagers ash thought, rolling his eyes for a second time. so corny. he decided to keep staring at the piercing man, just to distract himself.

“what are you doing here?” she said, trying to not grin when raymond held her hands. she said hi to ash briefly as well.

“we’re in the area, there’s a convention.”

“oh at the civic center?”

“mhm,” ash mumbles in response, waving to his hot distraction. he considered winking to the guy.

he waves back and ash disappears in his direction after closing the design book. “yup.” he muttered.

“how are you? how’s eli?” raymond asks vanessa. it’d been some time now that he’s not seen her son.

“im doing well, and so is eli. in fact he’s here right now,” vanessa says, spinning around to look for the kid.

as if he heard her a man came from behind another corner. he was large and burly and was caring eli atop his shoulders, holding him by his little feet. eli giggled as he held onto the lumberjack-looking man’s ears.

his face lit up when he saw raymond, happy to see someone familiar.

“raymin!” he pointed his little finger at him. the big man set him down and laughed, seeing how eli ran up to raymond and hugged his leg with great force.

“hey buddy! how are you?” raymond smiled genuinely, to ash’s surprise.

he doesn’t normally see raymond like this.. so parental. so loving.

then ash looked at the kid, his jaw falling to the floor. “that kid looks exactly like keiran west,” he says loudly without hesitation.

keiran west is ash’s favorite popular male actor. he was in movies like creed and john wick, always playing the best tall, tanned, action characters.

in fact ash likes him so much that he watches every interview and sees every new picture of him. he even follows fan accounts! he knows that face well.

this boy, vanessa’s son, had strangely the exact same mug, only very young. almost like keiran had been transformed into a five year old.

the room when silent when ash blurted it out. the man named ethan’s eyes grew wide and he looked at vanessa.

the attractive gentleman near ash with the piercings shrugged, playing it off. “i guess so.” it seemed to set the energy back to normal and raymond continued talking with vanessa.

hmm..

they were there for quite some time before vanessa remembered she was working on a client, scrambling around to apologize to the person and offer them a discount for the wait.

she quickly said her goodbyes to raymond but not before he asked her when the next time he’d see her again would be.

“well, we’ll be at ‘the run for breast cancer’ marathon tomorrow night!” she says.

oh! jia’s doing that— she’s running in it. actually, lots of people are. including ash, chantelle, possibly her girlfriend as well.

“i’ll be there,” raymond says without thinking, mesmerized by the way that she’s hurrying back to her section of the studio. he shamelessly watches her ass move in her tight mom jeans, making her look so irresistible.

“got a staring problem pal?” ethan says, coming back to man the counter. raymond’s confused, watching the tattooed guy judge him. he says nothing as he takes ash and heads out.

once far enough from the door he speaks. “some coworkers she has,” raymond said against the cold air, muttering something in cantonese that ash couldn’t understand.

“what do you mean?”

“that guy behind the counter, so weird.”

“eh! i wasn’t paying attention.” ash says as he tries catching a falling yellow leaf.

“yeah, i got that much. you were preoccupied.”

“not my fault that guy was sexy. ya know, i actually talked to him a little and he said to come back soon.”

“me?” raymond turned in shock.

“no, dingus. me!”

“oh.. why?”

“well duh, he clearly wanted a piece of this pie.” the body roll ash did that followed was uncalled for.

˚ · .

that next day, october first, the breast cancer awareness marathon was in motion to begin.

raymond was at home getting prepared with jia, helping her tie her sneakers. she sat on the couch in front of him with her foot gently in his lap.

he tightly tied her laces nice and secure. giving her legs a supportive squeeze when he was done.

“thank you,” she says, looking at her apple watch and messing around with it to prepare it for her run.

“of course honey,” he responds dryly, ready to leave the house with no drama.

but tonight there really was no drama. not a single rude connotation came with their words to each other tonight, which was highly unusual. and jia was nicer than she normally was.

most likely because the two were intimate last night. raymond’s heart wasn’t in it but jia was none the wiser.

she thanked him for the dinner he made as they stood in the kitchen that night. after his welcome, she initiated a small kiss, not really knowing why. perhaps it was the ambience or because it used to be in their routine. he hardly kissed her back, he only stood there and let it happen.

though after changing his mind, raymond did the unthinkable.

he kissed back, hard. giving a second thought about it and not letting jia even respond, he felt her body. his hands traveled downward to grip her rather curvless rear end.

what was wrong with him?

this was his wife, his partner whom he swore his life to. what the hell was he doing falling in love with another woman? why is he devouring jia while thinking of vanessa? why does he find arousal in fucking his wife knowing he’s about to see the woman he has actual feelings for the next day? god this was all so complicated. none of his thoughts were on the same page, hell they weren’t even in the same books.

why am i doing this? he wonders to himself in his head with a grumble. despite it all, he moves to leave marks on her neck and chest, moving jia’s loose shirt to expose more.

it seems as though he’s been so sexually active that he needs to prove himself in a way. a toxic, unlawful, and probably narcissistic way.

the small devil on his left shoulder has brutally murdered the angel on the right, if one ever existed. his subconscious has become blurry and he’s about to cross lines he shouldn’t. sexually please jia how you’ve been pleasing vanessa.

but why?

“r-raymond!” jia muttered, her eyes cloudy and shocked at his actions. he stopped for a second and looked at her, no trace of an expression. just a look.

she glances away, fixing the hem of her plum colored shirt on her shoulder. “you’re awfully handsy tonight,” was all she could say. this was highly unusual for the two.

raymond closes his eyes and lets her go, feeling a bit guilty. “would you like me to stop?”

jia made deep eye contact with him, not giving him answer just yet. like she was contemplating it.

then, she shook her head shyly. “no.”

that was all it took for raymond to bend her over the dining table and yank her long skirt down to her ankles. the cold air made her flinch and flush red with embarrassment. this was awfully strange and new considering their pre-established sad, dry sex life.

he was indifferent sliding his cock into her. mind hazy and only thinking of someone else. he even almost let vanessa’s name slip out- catching himself right as the “v” sound hummed from his lips. he played it off as a groan, jia was oblivious.

he let his mind wander to his earlier sight of vanessa in those blue jeans walking away. he wished he could hook his fingers around the belt loops and pull her back towards him.

to jia, this was new and exciting and kinky. raymond fucking her forcefully that is. she liked it more than she ever anticipated. besides, it was first time they’d touched each other in months. long, cold months.

come morning time, she made their bed, which she never did- it was always raymond doing that. she cooked breakfast, again, contrary to raymond always cooking. and she walked bruce. a occurrence that was beyond rare nowadays it seemed.

she looked to be enjoying herself recently, ever since she came back from macao. raymond has too but for other reasons. perhaps them both being happy on their own has made the relationship easier to bear. not to mention was happened in the kitchen before they went to bed.

raymond even kissed her gently today. it was extremely short and meaningless, but she was still his wife, and he was pleased with what she did today. jia didn’t kiss back, she only stared at him when he did and looked away with haste.

“hey raymond,” she started, getting up off the brown couch. jia was about average height, so raymond was maybe a foot taller than her.

“hm?” he says, looking down.

“um,” she cleared her throat and put a step of distance between them. “i have something to ask you.”

“what is it?” he asked, furrowing his brows, unsure of her unknown request. he was hoping it had something to do with their seemingly forever-lasting divorce process.

“i um.. i have tickets for a cruise. like- one of those caribbean ones. it’s for a few days. my parents gave them to me when i visited them in macao. they said it could maybe be good for us..

.. maybe we don’t have to separate.”

aw fuck.

˚ · .

“she really said that?” ash says while stretching, bending down to touch his toes.

ash was surprisingly extremely flexible, despite being 6’2. he can easily put his knuckles on the ground. must be all the yoga he does.

he has two little pigtails in his hair fastened with hot pink rubber bands. he’s also wearing a plain white shirt and pink short-shorts, and shoes with pink laces. his marathon number is 777.

raymond nodded, leaning against a shady tree from the sunset, keeping watch for jia who was supposed to emerge from the bathroom any minute now.

“and what’d you say?”

“i told her i’d think about it.” he said with a sigh.

“ahh. good call, i’d say. but what do i know.” ash stood up tall and reached for the spindly pine branches above him. “i don’t have good luck with things like this.”

soon enough chantelle and oaklynn jogged up to join them. both coming over to stretch with ash like he asked and get pumped up before the race.

“hey chantelle, hey possum,” he smiles but loses it when oaklynn gives him a slap to his firm back.

“i told you not to call me that.” she says, pointing in his face. raymond wanted to laugh, this woman had to have been around 4’11 or just five foot because they all towered over her. but she was feisty, he’ll give her that.

chantelle and her girlfriend were wearing matching outfits. pinks and oranges representing not only breast cancer awareness but also lesbian pride.

“oh my gosh, did i tell you my windshield cracked again?” ash says to chantelle, helping her gather all her long skinny braids into one hold so she could tie it up.

“oh, god forbid your precious audi is slightly damaged. i’ve got like four cracks in my camry that will probably never get fixed.”

“you know ash,” oaklynn pipes ups. “jericho gave you the address of the shop for a reason.”

“do i get a family discount if i bite the bullet and just go?”

“..um no.”

“worth a shot,” ash says, finishing up his stretches with a dumb yoga pose. well, raymond thinks it’s dumb but chantelle and oaklynn join him in it. all getting in the zone with tree pose.

jia comes out of the bathroom nearby wearing her number and gives her purse to raymond, to which he slings over his arm.

“you ready?” he asks her.

she nods and looks over the grassy warm up area. there has to be hundreds if not maybe almost a thousand people about to participate.

there were many pink balloons and streamers over the large start line. lots of sponsors and vendors were also by the track.

it was more of a road than a track though, it was just closed off from traffic for the festival.

once jia said her goodbye’s and thank you’s for the good luck wishes, she was off to gather up with the other runners.

“raymond tell them what you told me,” ash says once she’s out of earshot.

“um.. she wants to go on a cruise.”

“what do you guys think? with being in a happy relationship and all- what’s your take?” ash adds.

“you like vanessa right?” chantelle asks, putting her hand up to block the sun.

“a lot.” raymond practically laughs, but his face isn’t the slightest bit amused.

“kay, well then, tell jia isn’t not going to work out. the sooner you divorce her the sooner you can tell vanessa everything.”

“better yet- steal the tickets and use them with her instead.” oaklynn giggles, rather unhelpful.

discarding her comment, raymond responded. “i can’t hurry this divorce up any faster, trust me, i tried. she just wont sign the papers.”

“you can always take her to court.”

“oh god,” raymond huffed and looked at ash like he was crazy. “im not taking my wife all the way to court— we’re not that bad. besides, she’s been trying to make ammends.“

“what do you mean?”

“i mean she was so nice this morning.. she’s been acting different. like she did when we first met.” he said the last part sort of quietly.

ash looks around, he’s unsure of why raymond is pretending like he doesn’t have anything to do with this. jia can’t be pulling all the weight.

“look i may be stupid, but im not stupid. you guys banged didn’t you?”

how did he know?!

“..quit saying bang, especially in public.”

ash laughs at that, it’s obvious that he’ll never drop it. between chuckles he waves to chantelle and oaklynn who say they’ll see him down there. they knew to give ash and raymond a moment to talk.

“ray,” ash puts a firm hand on his shoulder, switching to a more gentle tone. “you know you have to figure this out, right? for yourself, and for her.”

the words were odd coming from ash— a true bachelor who doesn’t usually dish out relationship advice in a helpful way.

but he was right. and what makes it even more true is the fact that raymond doesn’t know if he means “her” as in jia, or “her” as in vanessa.

though it applies to both.

he can’t behave like this and he knows it. but standing here under this tall pine tree in the shade, unable to speak to anyone he wants to speak with, raymond feels at a loss.

ash says nothing but gives him a serious look and nod before disappearing down the knoll to find chantelle and oaklynn.

everything really started to settle in when he left. his words holding greater meaning the more he pondered.

a cold wind came through dancing along raymond’s skin, giving him chills. for a sunny evening it sure is cold out.

“raymond!” a familiar voice came from behind him, bringing him out of his speedway of thoughts.

he turns to see the faces of the few people who dont seem to resent him.

vanessa walked up the hill with her sons hand in hers, a genuine and beautiful smile on her cheeks.

her blush hair was in a ponytail and her number was 778, meaning her spot was going to be right behind ash. eli’s was 779.

they both wore pink matching shirts and looked so cute, so coordinated. collin wasn’t far behind, and surprisingly he wasn’t wearing his mask. it looks like he was joining them, his number at 780. he also wore a white cap hat that said fuck cancer in embroidered pink letters.

nobody seems to ever talk about how collin and raymond look oddly similar, even now when they’re shaking hands and talking. it’s like collin is raymond but moodier.

“raymin, where’s your number?” eli asks when he receives a fist bump from crouched down raymond.

“oh i don’t have one buddy, im not running.”

“why not?”

that was a good question. why isn’t he running? the three of them looked at him for his answer.

“um.. i’m not very fast.” he tells the kid. it was sort of a white lie but not really— raymond tends to avoid cardio when he’s at the gym, sticking to just his weights.

“well you can run with mommy because i am rweally fast! you would never keep up!” eli starts running circles around raymond before getting tired extremely quickly and falling on the cool, dark green grass. ray laughs at this and it sounds hearty and warm.

this is all he wants. he wishes he could forget all the burdens of his current life and just take vanessa and eli with him to a new house. a new neighborhood. give them all new things and spend time with them in this way.

eli and his mom were breaking through raymond’s tough outside shell and that was scary. this was getting so personal.

and he’s absolutely sure of one thing. if this continues and she finds out about jia, he’ll lose everything. and jia is here at this same event, somewhere down in that crowd. hell, he’s literally holding her purse!

it’s time raymond tells her before it’s too late. and now is as good of a time as any. well collin being here is embarrassing but there’s nothing raymond can do about that. it really is now or never.

he stands up, taking vanessa’s hands in his like he did the other day at the shop. “listen, i have something to tell you.”

now. or. never.

she nods, unsuspecting of any news that could shock her. collin is silent though, standing nearby like a cobra ready to strike. ready to sweep vanessa and eli away from raymond at the drop of a hat if he so much as makes one wrong move.

but all of a sudden a park wide intercom comes on, asking for the attention of all runners, gathering them to the starting line as one last call.

raymond sighs, eli is already running down the hill, collin going after him to make sure he doesn’t trip and tumble down the whole thing.

“i guess you can tell me after,” she says sweetly, laughing as she watches her son get on his belly to roll down the grassy hillside.

vanessa’s hands detach from raymond’s as much as he doesn’t want it to happen. he wishes he could hold onto her forever.

“good luck!” he calls after all of them, feeling a pit in his stomach.

the one chance he had. blown.

god forbid anybody run into jia.

it felt like eternity. every minute, no, every second that passed by the anxiety raymond had grew worse. it consumed him. so much so that he wishes he participated just to walk all the nerves off. actually there was many reasons why he wanted to participate all of a sudden.

to get more advice from ash, to keep jia away from the people he knows, to run with vanessa and eli like one pretend little family.

gosh, it was agony waiting by the finish line. and cold too, damn cold. the sun was long gone and all the lights came from the huge florescent light posts everywhere.

raymond was pacing, his nerves gnawing at him. the frigid air bit through his clothes but it was nothing compared to the chill of dread sitting in his chest.

he kept glancing at the crowd, waiting for another familiar face. earlier, very fit marathoners came by first, ripping through the giant pink paper. if it wasn’t a charity run, they’d be the winners. about ten people came across before ash did.

11th place was nothing to shy away at. especially when there was maybe a thousand people in the race. it was nothing short of incredibly impressive.

the wait by the finish line seemed like forever since ash dapped him up and began heading back to his car. he told raymond good luck as if he was the one in a 10K run and not sweaty, tired ash.

and then, he saw her—vanessa—running towards the finish line, with eli and collin close behind. it was a shock they didn’t finish later, what with traveling with a 5 year old.

she was laughing, her face flushed with the exertion but glowing with joy. hers and eli’s faces were red and cute and it twisted something in raymond’s heart to see her like this, so full of life, so innocent of the truth he was hiding.

but just as his eyes locked onto vanessa, he spotted jia a little further back, jogging with steady determination. she looked up, her gaze sweeping across the crowd, and in that instant, raymond knew what was about to happen.

vanessa crossed the finish line first, slowing to a jog as she caught her breath. eli bounded up to her, chattering excitedly about the race. collin hung back, watching raymond with a critical eye. and then, jia crossed the line too, just a few paces behind.

he felt like he was going to hurl, the bile of betrayal threatening to come up. the moment of truth was inevitable. jia, catching her breath, looked up and saw raymond standing by the finish line, holding her purse. her eyes lit up with recognition, but then they narrowed slightly as she noticed vanessa standing just a few feet away.

jia’s pace slowed as she approached raymond, her gaze flitting between him and the woman standing nearby. raymond could see the confusion starting to cloud her features.

vanessa was still catching her breath, oblivious to the tension building in the air as she focused on eli, who was tugging at her hand asking if they could go for ice cream afterwards.

“raymond!” jia’s voice was filled with exhaustion and relief as she reached him, her hand brushing against his arm as she moved to take her purse back. she leaned in for a kiss on his cheek, her lips brushing his skin before she stepped back, glancing again at vanessa and eli.

out of all the times for collin to start making her laugh it was now, and raymond didn’t know the guy was funny at all. he didn’t catch what he exactly he said but it was something about eli never being tired.

ray’s heart pounded in his chest as vanessa’s laughter filled the air, a sweet melody that normally brought him peace but now felt like a ticking time bomb. vanessa finally looked up, her eyes meeting raymond’s, and her smile widened. but as she caught sight of jia beside him, her expression faltered, confusion clouding her features.

eli, noticing the shift in atmosphere, looked between the adults, his earlier excitement dimming. “mommy, who’s that?” he asked innocently, pointing his little finger at jia.

vanessa opened her mouth to respond, but no words came out as the realization hit her like a freight train. her eyes darted to raymond, silently demanding an explanation.

jia, catching the look exchanged between vanessa and raymond, felt her stomach drop. the pieces of the puzzle were coming together, and the picture they formed was one she couldn’t—didn’t want to—believe. it all made sense now. the front door’s security camera footage, the single pink hair she found in their bed which he put in a ziploc bag, taking bruce to the park all the time, the late nights at the “office”.

her voice was shaky when she finally spoke, “raymond, who is she?”

raymond was frozen, his mind racing to find a way out, any excuse, but the weight of the truth pressed down on him, suffocating. the world around them seemed to blur as both women stood there, waiting for answers, while the crowd continued to celebrate the runners finishing the race.

“raymond, please tell me this isn’t what it looks like,” vanessa hushed, her voice barely above a whisper. she knew though when she saw jias wedding ring.

jia’s eyes were wide, demanding the truth she already feared. “raymond?”

he opened his mouth, but no sound came out. the words he needed seemed lost somewhere deep inside him, unreachable in this moment of raw exposure. vanessa took a step back, clutching eli’s hand tighter, as if trying to shield him from the inevitable fallout.

collin, who had been observing from a distance, stepped forward, his expression a mix of anger and protectiveness. he didn’t say anything, but his presence alone was a warning to raymond—whatever came next, it wouldn’t be pretty.

the silence stretched, thick and suffocating, until raymond finally managed to find his voice, though it was barely more than a whisper. “vanessa… i…”

but he couldn’t finish the sentence, couldn’t bring himself to say the words that would shatter the fragile illusion both women had been living in.

he can’t say, jia this is vanessa, the woman i’ve been having an affair with. shake each others hands and let’s all sing kumbaya.

the moment dragged on, the truth hanging in the air, heavy and inevitable. the breeze that was so cold now seemed a hundred degrees hotter.

before raymond could say more, jia stepped back, her face crumbling as the reality of the situation hit her fully. “you’ve been lying to me,” she whispered, more to herself than to raymond. her eyes filled with tears as she looked at vanessa, realizing the depth of her husband’s betrayal.

vanessa’s grip on eli tightened, and she pulled him closer, her expression a mix of hurt and anger. “raymond,” she said, her voice trembling, “how could you?”

raymond felt the weight of their gazes—of their pain and anger—bearing down on him. he wanted to cry when he looked down at eli, seeing his solemn confusion. no idea what was going on.

raymond wanted to run, to escape the mess he had created, but he was rooted to the spot, unable to move or speak. the crowd’s cheers seemed to mock the devastation unfolding around him. it was like a fucking laugh track and raymond was a walking, breathing joke.

collin finally spoke, his voice low and filled with warning, “you need to go, raymond.”

raymond knew he should leave, that staying would only make things worse, but he couldn’t move. he was trapped in this nightmare of his own making, the consequences of his actions finally catching up to him in the most public, humiliating way possible.

he has nobody to blame but himself.

and then, as if to add insult to injury, a voice crackled over the loudspeakers, announcing the winners and thanking everyone for their participation. the cheerful tone was a stark contrast to the storm brewing at the finish line.

jia took a shaky breath, her eyes never leaving raymond’s. “i want you to leave, raymond. don’t come home tonight.” she shook her head, almost as if in disbelief. tears never dropped but they stayed pooled in her eyes.

vanessa didn’t say anything more. and to think she believed raymond was about to ask her to be his girlfriend when they stood atop the hill before the race. she almost scoffed at her own ignorance and obliviousness. it was heartbreaking.

she just turned and walked away, pulling eli and collin with her, leaving raymond standing alone in the midst of the crowd, the weight of his decisions crushing him from the inside out.

˚ · .

a/n: omg it’s HERE!! how do we feel after all that?!

copyrights:

yume-- vanessa, eli, collin, ethan, davis

dylan--jericho

sorrel--venus

[sharktoraptor]

Anyway here’s my timeline of the killers real world origins as supported by the lore and cool history factoids. Spent way too much time on this but if you’re into the lore it might be a cool read.

I’ll go from “oldest” to "youngest”, so Evan’s first.

(Note: dates are based off of when the Entity would have “recruited” them. Time doesn’t really exist in the Entity’s realm, so it probably doesn’t actually matter when they were taken vs. what order they showed up in the Nightmare.)

Evan MacMillan: ca. 1850

Alright, so first off I don’t believe the wiki that Evan is American- MacMillan is a super Scottish name and Archie also sounds English to me, so I’ve placed him from the UK. Huge iron productions in the UK, like the MacMillan Estate, didn’t really take off until partway through the Industrial Revolution (mid 19th century), once there were better means of production and more consumables were being made of forged iron. There’s not really any specific place that I think he’s based off of, so I ballparked it, but this makes the most sense to me considering the lack of safety regulations (probably) in his backstory and the general state of technology in the MacMillan Estate realm.

Lisa Sherwood: ca. Late 19th century?

Lisa has the fewest clues in her backstory as to her time period. She’s based on a wendigo but is implied to come from the equivalent of Louisiana (the wiki lists her as African American, so I’m inclined to think that the wendigo inspiration is mostly from the cannibalism rather than her actual origins). There’s no real world event that I can find that would have inspired a cannibal tribe in Louisiana, so most of what I have to go off of is the fact that the commercial paddle steamer was invented in 1807, and the Pale Rose is said to have been there for some time before the events of Lisa’s backstory.

Anna: ca. 1918

The end of Anna’s backstory references the German invasion of Russia during WWI. She seems to have been actively hunting throughout the war but afterwards reportedly disappeared when soldiers stopped wandering through her forest and providing her with prey. I imagine that when she got bored the Entity took over in that regard.

Max: ca. 1946

The background description of the Coldwind Farm realm says that the Thompsons disappeared in 1946. We don’t know how long Max was living at the farm and killing people and animals, but it couldn’t have been more than a few years at most before the Entity picked him up. I’m hesitant to give 1946 as the concrete year because we just don’t know for certain.

Herman: ca. 1950s/1960s

Herman’s backstory is a reference to the CIA’s MK ULTRA project, which was a series of experiments from around 1950-1970 involving interrogation and mind control. They were highly questionable both ethically and legally.

Leatherface: 1973

One of two definitive years on this list. I’ve never seen Texas Chain Saw Massacre, but apparently the original is meant to have taken place in 1973. According to his backstory, the Entity plucked him right out of the end of the movie, where he is left swinging his chainsaw around in crazed circles.

Sally: ca. 1970s/1980s

First of all, I really like (parts of) this theory that Sally and Nea were taken around the same time, based on the connections in their backstories and their shared DLC. This made it a bit easier to narrow down a time frame, since I was able to use Nea’s backstory as well. Electrotherapy more or less phased out in the 1970s, so I used that as a cap, and the method was pioneered around 1940. With Nea’s background: modern skateboards also came around in the 1940s, but skate parks (which are explicitly mentioned in her lore) weren’t really a thing until the 70s. So... I guess she was kind of a pioneer in her field.

Myers: ca. 1980s

The DbD lore doesn’t actually say when Myers was taken in relation to the Halloween movies. Since it only seems to reference the original two, I’m running off the assumption that the Entity snagged him and Laurie sometime shortly after 1978, but like Max there’s not enough evidence to say it was immediately following the events of that year.

Philip: ca. 1980s

I first placed Philip based off of the design of the school bus in Autohaven Wreckers, which was a lot of unnecessary research about school bus history when the easier and more precise thing was all in the names. Ojomo is a very common Nigerian surname. We know from his backstory that Philip immigrated to the US in search of work and a new start, and it turns out that Nigerian emigration to the US took a spike in the mid 80s for economic reasons. Around this time (in the 70s) the Russian mafia was also at its most threatening in the US. I think it’s pretty reasonable to say that Mr. Azarov was definitely Russian mafia. (By the way, the first school buses were horse-drawn carriages called kid hacks. And they’re yellow to be most visible in the times of day that they drive. I have to do something with this knowledge.)

Freddy: 2010

The only other definitive year. Apparently the 2010 remake (which this Freddy and Quentin are based from) literally just takes place in 2010, which I suppose makes sense what with Freddy being an ageless dream demon and all. I’ve never seen Nightmare on Elm Street and certainly not the remake, but it seems from Freddy’s DbD lore that, like Leatherface, he transitioned straight from the movie to the Nightmare.

So yep. If anyone has any ideas about Lisa lemme know, but I’m pretty confident about the rest of these.

[nattspencer]

Let me take care of you

Missy x Reader

Summary: Missy gets hurt while doing maintenance in the TARDIS and a sad reader comes to help.

A/N: English is not my first language, I’m really sorry for any mistakes. It has been a long time since the last time I wrote any story, I'm just trying to get back to my hobbies and strugling a little bit now, anyhow, I really wanna get back to doing this, but in my own time, so if you have any ideas and want me to write them, it would be a pleasure, just send me a request o/

Warnings: tiny mention of torture, tiny mention of grief, lots of fluffy and soft!Missy.

Word count: 2.7k.

The GIF is not mine.

          God you missed your granny. She would definitely know what to do, what to do with all this feeling for a certain time lord, all this self loathe, and even if she didn’t know exactly how to help, at least you would have your person to talk about, to cry if you have to, you just needed to take it out of your chest.

          Don’t get me wrong, you absolutely love Bill and Nardole, but the fear of their judgment it’s just not something you would have when you talked with your granny, she was just your person, she was the one to love you, to care for you when the world didn’t even acknowledge your existence. She was the one to stand for you when all you parents did was beat the living shit out of you and tell you how useless you are and how you stole their lives and freedom. 

          Nightmares definitely weren’t a strange thing to you, had them since you were a child, and by now, for the most part, you can handle them pretty well, sometimes you were able to even stop them without having the trouble to wake up, but not this one. This one was particularly different, particularly cruel. 

          You could handle being chased, being beaten, tortured, see the most important people in you life telling you how much they despise you, but there’s one thing that was just too much. You couldn’t bear to watch Missy being tortured, torn apart, you could handle anything, except seeing the woman you love being hurt, in any way. Yes, she is a murderer, yes, she probably tortured someone sometime, but still, she is not that person anymore, she has changed, and you saw her changing. 

          When you first glanced at Missy in the vault, all you could think was how she looked just like you before granny stepped up, so hurt, so resentful, so trying desperately to feel something other than pure misery, but also trying so despairingly to seem okay, to seem like you need no one else other than themselves. You saw you in her, and you couldn’t help but do exactly what you so dreadfully one day hoped someone would, you cared. You cared for her. 

          One day you saw her hiding her bruised knuckles from you and Nardole’s view in one of your visits, so on the next one you found some excuse to bring a punching bag with you, alongside with some boxing gloves, so she could hit on something without hurting herself. On another occasion you saw her eyes a little swollen, so little that you doubt that Nardole would ever suspect it were ever that way. Thereupon you made another excuse to quickly go home and make a bottle of your better mix of milk and honey, granny’s recipe for when you were feeling down, just to unfortunately “forget” the full bottle inside the vault, unnecessary to say that it was empty the very next day.

          Little gestures like that, that’s what caught Missy’s attention. She began subtly to be a little less wry towards you, and little by little, your conversations lengthen and you two started to get along with each other. There were nights that you two just layed comfortably alongside each other and watched your favorite tv shows, others you just sat together each one reading your elected books with a pleasing silence between you two. Sometimes you just chatted about some random subject until the tiredness of the day got you, some other times you just spent the whole night bantering The Doctor and talking about his mannerism. And just like that, you fell in love, just to now, be punished by your bad dreams.

          Sometimes you wonder if your nightmares weren’t just your mind showing you the fears you so desperately try to forget. In any case, you were just too shaken to go back to sleep now and for that, you knew exactly what place you needed to go to find your serenity once again. The TARDIS’ beach has been your hide spot almost since you moved into the ship, it was quiet, had a gentle breeze and most of all, you could confess and tell everything you wanted to your beloved machine without the risk of anyone listening to it. 

          Your feet already knew the way by now, but the ship always made the room closer than it should when you needed it the most. You never thought you would love a machine as much as you love this one, all the sounds, all the lights, dimming and brightening in rhythm, but nothing compares to the lovely humming, that ladies and gentleman was the sound of home. The Doctor doesn’t imagine, but you’ve recorded it and put it to play every night you spend outside the ship just to lull you to sleep. Your mind would probably keep drifting about the wonders in the machine if the sound of something falling didn’t catch your attention. 

          “Bloody hell!” You heard from a tiny room ahead, there was no doors and the place filled with technological timey wimey stuff such as wires or metal plates, one of the later was resting in the ground “You should be in a fucking junkyard by now you useless shit” Missy hissed to the TARDIS.

          “Don’t talk to her like that! It’s not her fault that her driver is a little too neglectful towards maintenance” You said taking the ship’s side.

          “A fucking metal plate just fell on me so I think I get to call her whatever the fucking hell I want” Missy said clearly pissed. You were about to say something else in favor of the ship when you noticed a thin sharp redline in her forearm.

          “Shit, your arm, we really should go to the medbay” There was concern in your voice.

          “Oh this? It’s just a scratch poppet, you don’t have to care so much for little old me” Mockering was dripping from her words.

          “It's not a scratch, it's bleeding” The sight of her dark red blood made the scenes of your nightmare scream painfully in your head “Just… please, let’s get it clean before it gets infected” Your tone was shaken and the tiredness dripped over sorrow.

          “Well, if it calms your sentimental heart off we go then, there’s lots of things to fix and it’s really easier to do so when you all are not drifting around the time vortex” She said already walking outside the room. You didn’t say a single word, a tight knot was placed in your throat, all you managed to do was follow her steps. 

          The sound of her heels clicking rapidly echoed around the machine’s corridors. You could feel her eyes burning on you, but not a single word fell from her mouth. The route was brief but it felt like an eternity, memories of early flooding your mind while you try to pretend outside that nothing was happening. As soon as you enter the medbay you finally said, trying to sound as natural as possible: 

          “Um… you can sit on that stretcher, I’ll gather some supplies, wait a sec” You said, avoiding her gaze and trying to find what could be useful to clean and bandage her wound. 

          “You know I wouldn’t really throw a functioning TARDIS in a junkyard right?” She broke the silence “Also, I’m quite sure The Doctor it’s a little too attached to this particular one, so throwing it away wouldn't exactly help me get his friendship back” 

          “Yeah, I know, don’t worry” That was all you managed to say while you sat in front of her, starting to clean her cut, trying your very best to push the hurtful images to the back of your mind.

          “Did I say anything wrong, pet? Have I done anything wrong?” She tried to keep her usual tone but you could hear a hint of concern in her words “See, I’m little new on this being good thing”

          “Don’t worry Missy, you haven’t done or said anything wrong or bad or anything like that, it’s okay” You assured her.

          “Then why are you like this?” Her eyebrows furrowed.

          “Don’t worry, It’s nothing important” It was a paper thin lie, but still, you tried.

          “Well, the thing is, it is important” A deep sigh fell from between her lips “Look, I’m new to this kind of stuff but you once said you took care of me because it was all you ever wanted when you were down, having someone to care without the need to ask for it, so please, I know I’m way far from being the best person or the deserving person to do it but just for this once, let me take care of you”

          “You remembered” It was ages ago when you told her that, and she still remembered it, just the way you said. A smile crawled on your lips and your eyes brightened.

          “Of course I do remember, kitten, some of the things you say resonate you know” She said as if it was obvious. Your smile grew wider and your eyes started glistening.

          “Damn, you are truly amazing, you know that right?” There was true admiration in your words

          “Well, I’m just making my part of the deal. How was it again? You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed? I’m responsible with my pets, especially with my favorite one”

          You just couldn’t hold your tears back anymore, sorrow and pain, happiness and fondness was all mixed within you, all too much to contain. Missy then stood up and gently scooped you into her arms in a warm embrace, mildly stroking your hair. You never imagined she could be so tender, so warm, and more than any moment, she felt like home, it felt like you had your person again, and it made you cry even more. 

          She patiently waits for you to get it all off your chest, letting you wet her blouse as much as you want to, as much as you need to. Her other hand drew weightless incomprehensible circles on the small of your back trying to lull you into calmness. Your face was bared in the crook of her neck, her familiar scent invaded your nostrils and reminded you of the days you slept together in the vault in your movie nights, those were good nights.

          “Don’t worry, I’ve got you” She said in a tender tone.

          Good minutes drifted through the clock until you finally cried all you needed, the grief from your grandmother, your unrequited love for Missy, your nightmares, your fears, all gone now in the form of tears. 

          “Better?” She broke the silence carefully when you pulled slightly away from her embrace.

          “Better”

          “I just want you to know that if you want to talk to someone, about anything, even about earth’s history, I’m here for you okay? Little old me is never out of duty” Her eyes flooded with truth and tenderness.

          “Thank you” No word in the would could express the gratitude, the feelings you had now “I suppose talk about it wouldn’t hurt, I trust you Missy” When you said it so honesty a hit of surprise hit her face, followed soon by joy “So I think it would be fair enough to show you my hideout”

          “Hideout?” One of her eyebrows arched.

          “Well, when I get some really bad nightmares normally like to wander around, so in one of these walks the TARDIS showed me that room, since then whenever a need a safe place I just go there and talk to my machine friend” 

          “Machine friend? Might have to throw her in the junkyard after all” She said in a mockering tone.

          “Missy!” You said with a small laugh.

          “What? That’s my name dearie, don’t wear it out, ohh” Her brain finally realized something “So that’s why you took her side earlier, naughty naughty” She smiled showing her canines.

          “There’s enough room in my heart for you two, it is bigger on the inside” 

          “I very much like exclusivity, pet” 

          “Will you go with me or not?” You fake annoyance.

          “Follow a pretty girl to an unknown location in the middle of the night? Seams safe enough, off we go?”

          “You’re unbelievable” A genuine laugh fell from your lips.

          Your hands instinctively enclosed hers in a perfect puzzle as soon as you started to walk, a comfortable silence between you two in the brief road, iIt was really strange how things were really closer than the usual, actually you could bet the TARDIS purposely made this way, in fact she might have arranged it all. She knew you loved Missy. Anyhow, in no time you were standing on the beach’s door. 

          When you opened it and instantly you felt a pleasant light breeze on your face, the sea air filling your lungs, and the sun perfectly clouded, not too hot, not too gloomy. You took a glance into Missy’s face and a light sound smile painted her lips. In no time you took off your shoes and put your toes in the sand, dragging your honor guest with you.

          “Oh nono, no boots in the sand, take your shoes off” 

          “Sand it’s awful to clean”

          “My place, my rules, please” Pleading painting your eyes.

          “Fine, but don’t take pictures of my feet and post it online, I know they are pretty”

          “For the love of God woman” You couldn’t help but to laugh. 

          A towel laid carefully placed in the sand, close enough to the ocean but not too close to get wet, still holding hands you two sat comfortably on it, and you laid your head on her shoulder. Glancing at the waves you started to talk.

          You told her about your granny, how you missed her, told her about the nightmare that bothered you early this night, told her pretty much everything, except that she was the one you loved. Missy attentively listened to all the things you said, always making some witty comment to make you laugh. It was peaceful, among all the chaos, it was peaceful.

          She then told you about her childhood, her friendship with the Doctor, and in the end you just were chatting literally about anything that would come to mind. Talking with her was easy, was natural, and you wished it would go on forever, but now, with your head on her lap, a stubborn yawn slipped between your lips.

          “Sorry, did I bore you sweetie?” She played.

          “Shut up”

          “Naughy, but you really should get some sleep, I don’t know much about humans, but I do know about your daily semi-coma thing” Her hands were dancing blissfully between your locks.

          “I should, but I don’t want this to end” Sincerity flooded your words.

          “I don’t have anywhere else to be pet, quite imprisoned I would say” 

          “Still, I don’t want you to leave, also, I don’t want to have that nightmare again” Your face contorted to the thought of that.

          “Well, if that’s the problem I suppose I could sleep with you then, those nasty nightmares won’t bother you anymore, furthermore I will still be by your side”

          “That sounds nice” Butterflies danced in your stomach.

          “But just for the records, if I fill your bed with sand that’s totally your fault” 

          “Blame is on me then, off we go? I can borrow you one of my pjs” 

          “Little old me, in your room, light clothes, you really will have to sleep, you know that right?” A mischievous smile danced on her lips.

          “Yes, I do know that” You rolled your eyes with annoyance to mask a light shade of pink in your cheeks “Off we go?” You said getting up and extending your hands to her.

          Missy gently took your hands and stood up too without saying anything, just her pale blue eyes locked in yours. All the way to your room your hand didn’t leave hers and you thought you really could get used to this, you felt safe. And after all she has done today you could tell you were really important to her too.

[knuffled]

not so bad pt. 1

i’m having lots of writer’s block, so i wrote a small fic to get back into the swing of things! this doesn’t mean i’m back to consistently writing fic though. also this is not proof read at all, but i like to live dangerously. anyhow, hope you enjoy and if you do please reblog!

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/37160617/chapters/92707843

Annabeth had never been to the school nurse’s office, which was currently proving to be a dire mistake. She’d hobbled around school for nearly fifteen minutes before she found it, tucked away on the second floor in the social studies department for some god-forsaken reason. She stumbled inside the tiny office and desperately grabbed a chair just in time for her leg to give out. Gritting her teeth, Annabeth pulled herself onto the seat and screwed her eyes shut. For a few moments, she tried to calm her breathing and rapid heartbeat so that it hurt less to breathe.

Once she opened her eyes, Annabeth brushed aside the sweat-soaked strands of hair plastered to her forehead and looked around. The nurse wasn’t there, but that was par for the course: school had ended two hours ago, after all. Annabeth took a deep breath, kicked off her right foot’s cleats, and stripped her sock and shin guard to get a proper look of the injury for the first time. It definitely looked worse than it felt: there were clear impressions of cleat marks indenting her skin, some of which dripped crimson, mixing with dirt caked to her shins. Gingerly, Annabeth probed a spot leaking blood and winced when her calf throbbed in response.

God, this was exactly what she needed. She’d already had to deal with two hours of absolutely grueling practice, and now she had to fix this horrific looking wound by herself, just like always. She didn’t even know how to administer first aid. Annabeth would’ve curled into a little ball and screamed if her leg wasn’t screaming bloody murder.

That was when the door burst open, cutting her pity party short, and in walked Percy Jackson. He stopped the instant he saw her, and Annabeth stiffened at the sight of him, despite herself, and looked for something to defend herself with.

This day really was just going from bad to worse. Of all the people at school, he was the absolute last one she wanted to see here. Everyone at East Summers High knew to stay the fuck away from Percy Jackson. Rumors said he routinely beat people to a pulp with his bare hands. Others said he sold every kind of drug imaginable. Others said he spent his days shoplifting or mugging people. He barely showed up at school half the time, undoubtedly engaged in something criminal.

Annabeth wasn’t the type to believe everything she heard, but she couldn’t deny that Percy did his damnedest to look the part. The ripped jeans, bruised knuckles, and disheveled hair certainly did him no favors, but it was the severe case of resting bitch face that really sealed the deal. His eyes would have been pretty if they weren’t always glaring at you like he thought your existence was a personal affront to him. Couple that with the fact that he never smiled and made himself as unapproachable as possible, it wasn’t hard to believe the rumors were true.

Injured like she was, Annabeth could do little to defend herself if he really was as bad as they said. Her heartbeat had already begun spiking even though he was just glaring at her.

“Christ, what happened to you?”

The sound of his voice took her by surprise - she’d never heard him speak before. “What?”

Percy nodded to her leg. “That.”

Annabeth looked down at her leg before feeling more than a little stupid. “Oh, um, a teammate accidentally stepped on my leg at practice.”

A beat passed before Percy said, “If you’re looking for the nurse, she isn’t here. She’s usually gone by four thirty.”

“Oh, thanks,” Annabeth said awkwardly, even though she’d already figured as much.

Percy must have assumed that was the end of the conversation because he strode past her and rummaged in one of the cabinets for some bandages. He grabbed some cotton balls and rubbing alcohol before he sat on the counter at the other end of the room. With practiced ease, Percy dabbed some alcohol onto the cotton swab and lifted the hem of his black t-shirt, revealing a skinned torso. He didn’t even wince as he sterilized the wound, but the flex of his muscles while he worked transfixed her.

Annabeth didn’t realize she was staring until she saw that he’d noticed her ogling him so shamelessly. Some half-baked excuses caught in her throat, but all she could muster was a croak. Her face turned red as he cracked a smile. Percy’s smile was something magical - it melted all those hard lines of tension on his face and broke his guard a little. The effect was really disarming. 

Annabeth stood with a start and cleared her throat. She had to start dressing her own wound instead of staring like an idiot. She looked through the same cabinet that Percy had, but she couldn’t tell what half the things were inside. There were no labels. She grabbed something that looked like a gauze bandage, a bottle of what she hoped was rubbing alcohol, and some paper towels. 

She started a little when Percy brushed past her to put away the bandages he’d taken. Annabeth blinked when she saw the branding on the box and looked at him.

“Was that Hello Kitty?” Annabeth asked, unable to help herself. 

“Yep,” Percy said, raising an eyebrow. “Is that a problem?”

Annabeth gestured vaguely to him and said, “Isn’t that kind of antithetical to your whole image?”

“For your information, Hello Kitty fits all images,” Percy said easily. “Besides, even if you told anyone I was wearing a Hello Kitty bandage, who would believe in you?”

A laugh escaped her before she could help it. Fear snuck in a moment later as she chided herself to be more careful around him, but Percy’s answering smile sent her straight to La La Land. 

In the time she was there, Percy took a quick look at the supplies she’d gathered and frowned. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing? Because if you’re trying to dress your injury, none of this stuff will help.” 

That snapped Annabeth back to reality real fast. “What?”

Percy held up her gauze tape. “This is compression tape. Not gauze tape. It’s used for muscle recovery and cramping. For a wound like yours, a bottle of hydrogen peroxide isn’t the best option.”

“Oh,” Annabeth said, feeling more than a little stupid. 

There was a pause before Percy sighed and said, “Sit down. I’ll handle this.”

Words of protest rose inside her, but Percy gave her a sharp look that told her this wasn’t up for debate. Annabeth slumped in her chair and watched Percy gather materials from around the room before he came back to her. He dropped to a crouch in front of her and held up a wet paper towel. 

“First, I’m gonna clean the area with some water and soap. It’ll sting a bit, but let me know if it’s too much for you, okay?” 

Once Annabeth nodded, Percy gently began wiping down her calf. She was expecting him to be a lot rougher, so her surprise kept her from hardly registering any pain while he worked. He paused to explain what he was doing every now and then, and warned her when something would hurt, but for the most part he was quiet. She really tried not to, but she couldn’t help studying him, not when he was so close. He still looked prickly, but considerable less so.

“You know, you’re not really that bad,” Annabeth found herself saying. 

Percy froze for a moment and looked up at her. “So you’ve heard the rumors too, huh?”

“Kind of hard not to,” Annabeth said, a little sheepishly.

“Always thought you were too smart to believe in stuff like that.”

Annabeth blinked. “You know about me?”

“Sure do,” Percy said, wrapping the gauze around her calf. “Annabeth Chase: star striker and captain of the soccer team, future East Summer’s High valedictorian, and evidently a Hello Kitty hater.” 

“I don’t hate Hello Kitty,” Annabeth whined. The fact that he knew so much about her was really taking her aback. 

Percy suddenly stood up, and Annabeth worried she’d offended him when she noticed that her calf was all nicely bandaged up now. 

“Bandages aren’t too tight, right?”

Annabeth shook her head. “No, they’re perfect. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Percy said, smiling softly. “I’ll see you around, Chase.” 

“Yeah, see you around,” Annabeth said, nodding. 

With that, Percy was gone. Annabeth waited a moment to sink into her chair and groan. God, she’d made such an absolute fool of herself. She found herself still extremely surprised by the entire exchange. Percy was nothing like she’d been led to believe, at least if this interaction was anything to go off of. She knew that it was a platitude more than anything, but she found herself hoping she really would see him again.

[ethereal-engene]

lesson 6 with sunghoon

pairing: bf!Sunghoon x gn!reader

genre: fluff & slice-of-life // warnings: none other than it not being proof-read

summary: spending your time doing something you love is not a waste of time with Sunghoon // word count: ~400 

note: sixth part to my lil series & enjoy!  if you’d liked to be on my taglist send an ask, dm, or fill out this form

It’s quite funny how you two spend time with each other. Hoon likes to game while you’re a reader. (no-pun intended) I imagine he can get quite rowdy while playing but I used to read in the lunch room… Please don’t ask how I just did. Anyhow, back to the drabble. Some people think gaming or reading can be a bad time to spend one’s time but if it brings you joy and it’s not hurting anyone, why stop?

Now of course, it’s understandable to think about it that way because in some way, they’re not wrong. They’re just not completely right either. Life is too short to spend our time doing things we don’t like. However, we can find a balance between the two.

It’s kind of easy to slip into a negative mindset that we must always be doing something productive. Isn’t that just what society has taught us? If you’re not doing anything to better yourself then you’re wasting time. Well times are changing and so goes that mindset. It’s better to work on improving ourselves when we want to or when we can. With how busy life can get, it doesn’t always give us the time we want to do something else.

Plus some people don’t understand how the time spent doing fun or relaxing is still productive. Besides, you can’t work hard all the time, it’s just not sustainable and not enjoyable. So you know, spending time doing what you love, even if people judge you for it.

Little bonus: Hoon tries to teach you the games he likes playing and you make him read with you. It’s actually really fun because with enough practice, you’re going to be one gaming better than him. Only for him to get sulky and everything. It’s not your fault, you’re better than him 😭 Don’t worry, you comfort him with lots of hugs and cheering him on when you’re not gaming with him; on the flip-side he’ll be ready to hear about your book. I also know for a fact, Hoon does everything but read when you try to make him read with you. Peppering your face with kisses so that you pay attention to him instead of your book. Every once in a while, you’ll lightly smack him with the book. Telling him that if he can get through a couple chapters, you’ll play with him. Hearing that makes him motivated and Hoon follows through. After y’all are done reading, you follow through with your end of bargain.

Extra bonus: Hoon and you dominate as a power couple in the games that y’all play.

Thank you for reading and if you liked this please consider reading my other parts for this little series I’m doing or keeping up with it! And please reblog if you liked it, they mean a lot to me <3

oh my gosh, enha fic writer ash making a comeback? 😭 i think i’ll try to finish my other series after this one ! 

Take care & signing off with love

- ash

[myhockeyworld87]

What Happens In Vegas...Doesn’t Always Stay There - Jacob Markstrom - Part 5

Word Count: 6,353

POV: Reader

Warning: Language, Smut, NSFW, Pregnancy stuff

Notes: Sorry I meant to post this last night, but that game left me barely able to function. As such, you are getting this today. This fic takes place during the 2018-2019 season and during that season Jacob’s dad was still with him, so I will be mentioning him in this and the next chapter, along with his cancer. If that bothers you, please skip this and the next chapter. I just felt that it needed to be written into the story. As always feedback is welcome. Happy Reading!

What Happens In Vegas…Doesn’t Always Stay There Masterlist

It took three weeks back in LA to get everything taken care of before the move to Vancouver. Work thankfully wasn't a problem. With more and more movies and television shows being filmed in Canada, the firm liked the idea of having someone closer. Most of your work could be done remotely anyhow and you could just video chat conference calls or anything else you needed. It ended up being a win for everyone.

 By the time you could actually move in, Jacob was on the tail end of a ten-day road trip. He'd insisted on hiring you a moving company, even though you said you could handle it, not that he thought you couldn't; he just felt you didn't need the added stress. Though packing wasn't the stressful part. It was the unpacking and not knowing where to put things with Jacob not being there that was causing your anxiety to rise. You felt like you were invading his home. Most of your furniture you kept in storage, but you still had a few things you wanted to take with you, yet you didn't know where to have the movers place it. Then there were your clothes. Jacob had a gorgeous master bedroom, with a closet to die for, but all his things were in it. You were unsure if you should move them to make room for yours or just take up the closet in the spare room. Which while spacious, was nowhere near as nice as the one in Jacob's room. Everything would've been much easier had he been here.

 In the end, you split everything up, putting half your stuff in his closet and half in the other room. You figured the two of you would be doing a lot of compromising and this would just be one of them. You had his office moved around to accommodate your work desk, since you'd be working a lot from home, and you had to wonder how often he came in here, as the pile of papers on his desk looked like the size of Mount Fuji, volcanic eruption and all. You were tempted to straighten it out for him, but opted not to, not wanting to invade his privacy.

 You were just putting away the last of your stuff when you heard Jacob walk through the door. "Prinsessa, I'm home." He'd taken to calling you his Swedish princess lately and you had to admit you didn't hate it.

 "In the bedroom," you hollered back. It was late in the evening, too late for you to be up, but you wanted to see Jacob and make sure everything you'd done so far was fine with him.

 "I was surprised to see all the lights on when I pulled up. Couldn't you sleep?"

 "I just wanted to finish putting away a few things." He dropped his bag on the floor and came over to you, wrapping you up in his arms and dropping a few kisses to your lips.

 "I missed you these last couple of weeks." It was weird but you'd missed him as well. You had talked every day, sometimes several times, but those few days that you'd spent in Vancouver, had just brought a new closeness to this relationship. If a relationship was what you could call it. He did refer to you as his girlfriend, but the way you two had gotten here was definitely the road less traveled.

 You slid your arms up his chest, savoring the feel of his well-toned muscles there. "Funny...I didn't miss you at all." You had a hard time keeping a straight face.

 "Really?" Jacob asked. There was this twinkle in his eyes, right before his hands slid under your ass and he lifted you on him. You didn't even have a chance to wrap your legs around him, though he held you with ease. "Maybe I need to do a better job at leaving you some reminders for next time." His mouth went to the crook of your neck where he sucked on you and gave you little love bites. You were pretty sure there were going to be marks there.

 "And here this whole time I thought they called you Marky because of your last name," you teased, yet moved your head to the side to give him greater access.

 "Oh, I plan on leaving more than just this one." He carried you over to the bed, where he gingerly lowered you down. You loved how he could be slightly rough with you one minute and then next so gentle.  Admittedly, you'd like to see a little bit of his rough side, but hopefully, that would come with time.

 His hands slid under your shirt, along your sides; the callousness of them rough yet the touch tender, making you shiver. "No bra?" he asked, eyebrows shooting up with delight as he skimmed along the undersides, before cupping each breast.

 "I opted out of it a while ago." Though your body hadn't changed much in these last ten weeks, you did notice your breasts were more sensitive and sometimes you just couldn't stand having them confined longer than necessary. Tonight happened to be one of those times.

 "Well if it's an option, you don't ever have to wear it again." There was a devilish look in his eyes. "I like this ease of access." He was rolling your nipples between his thumb and index finger, eliciting moans out of you so that you had no chance to answer. Scrunching your shirt up, he dipped his head down to lavish attention on those same nipples he had been tweaking. Your body squirmed, as he swirled his tongue around it before sucking on it gently. He wedged his thigh between your legs and you found your body grinding against it while he played with first one nipple and then the other. "Oh prinsessa, I think you did miss me."

 There was no denying that your body missed this. Craved was more like it. You had a feeling there would never be a time that you didn't want him. What was surprising was the sense of loss that came with just simple day-to-day actions, like brushing your teeth together and sharing a meal. Those were the things you'd found yourself longing for these last few weeks.

 Jacob started to travel down your body. Trailing kisses as he went, yet stopping to whisper something in Swedish to the baby. He didn't spend long there, and before you could ask what he said; he was pulling your sweats and panties down. "Du gor mig galen med hur vat du ar." (you drive me crazy with how wet you are) You were going to have to start picking up Swedish or something in your spare time, as he seemed to always revert to his native language in the heat of the moment. There was no time to ask what he said, as he dove right into your pussy. Licking a stripe right up to your clit causing your hips to lift off the bed.

 You sucked in a breath when he repeated the action again, your body on fire like never before. When he flicked his tongue over your clit, you were gone. The orgasm hitting you hard and fast like never before. "Fuck," you screamed out, as your body trembled and spasmed.

 Jacob worked you through it, somewhat astonished with how little he had done to make you cum so quickly. Once, you finally stopped shaking he picked his head up from between your legs. "Are you alright, prinsessa?"

 "Yes," you sighed in a state of bliss, not knowing if it was the pregnancy or the fact that you hadn't seen Jacob in three weeks that made you climax like that.

 You lay there panting, still catching your breath. "Shall we do that again?" The smirk on Jacob's face had you laughing, but after a long day of unpacking, you knew your body wouldn't last long.

 "Do that and I may be done for the rest of the night." You were only half teasing but he chuckled and made his way back up your body, taking the hint.

 "Rather have this," Jacob flexed his hips into you and moaned out into the room again. He was out of his boxers in no time. Cupping his cock in his hand, then guiding it into you. "God, prinsessa, you always feel like heaven."

 "Mmm," was all you could answer back as he was buried deep in you, for he felt like heaven as well. When he finally started to move it felt like every nerve in your body was alive and tingling. With each thrust he took you to new heights you never knew were possible. "Oh Jacob," you moaned. "Don't stop...please...yes...oh god..."

 "Yeah, you like that prinsessa?" A smirk of satisfaction crossing his lips at knowing he was bringing you such exquisite pleasure. "Does my cock make you feel good?" He was pounding into you and you didn't know how much longer you were going to be able to hold on for. He must have felt the small flutter your pussy gave, as the first tremors of orgasm began. "Cum for me (Y/N)." You shattered at his words, climaxing once again with a force you never felt but just minutes ago. "Fuck, ya." He groaned out, spilling inside you as his orgasm hit as well.

 Your body was still quaking as he rolled you both onto your sides. His cock going flaccid yet still inside you. "God, you're beautiful," Jacob whispered those words, as he pushed strands of hair out of your face, before dropping kisses to your nose and lips. "If this is what happens when I get home from a road trip, I can't wait to go on another one."

 "Stop," you said playfully swatting at his chest.

 "I'm just teasing, prinsessa, though I do like coming home to you here. I think this will be good for us." You hoped it would, considering that you both had a lot banking on this working out. If this were to go south, then what would you do? Move back to LA with the baby? Stay here so that Jacob could be a part-time dad? There were so many questions swirling around in your brain, but when Jacob softly took his thumb to rub your cheek they all seemed to evaporate. "I didn't get to ask how you're feeling today?"

 "I'm good, well, we're good. That's three whole days without morning sickness." It was small, but it was progress. Hopefully, you were on the upswing of that as you went into your eleventh week.

 "Good, I can't see how that's good for either one of you." You couldn't either, even though everything you read and everyone you talked to, said it was normal. "When you were moving in did you figure out which room you wanted for the baby?"

 "I thought the smart thing would be to keep it next to our room. Oh, I mean your room."

 "No, you were right the first time. This is our room." He kissed you quickly before adding, "If we're going to make this work then everything is ours."

 You yawned, completely exhausted from the babe and moving in. "Ok," you somehow managed to get out, agreeing with Jacob.

 "Sleep, (Y/N). It's late." You weren't sure if it was the combination of his soft whispered words while he rubbed your back or sheer exhaustion, but the minute you closed your eyes you were out.

 Jacob just chuckled to himself as he watched you fall asleep. He was fighting the feeling himself, though he just wanted to steal a few more glances as you slept on peacefully in his arms. It was strange to him, someone who wasn't ready to settle down, how much he loved this. Just holding you in his arms and watching you sleep. Ever since he'd met you, something inside him had changed. You made him want more than just random hookup after random hookup, and now he had that something more with you. Though pretty soon there would be a little one as well. His hand stole down to your belly. He thought for sure there would be a bump there, after not seeing you for three weeks. The little blueberry inside you had grown to a strawberry now. He knew this because of course, he had to google it, along with so many other things. Like how to change a diaper, and what he should expect at each week of your pregnancy. He knew that right now you could start with mood swings, and be crying one minute and happy the next. He was just waiting for that to happen. He was trying to be prepared as best he could to help you out with the baby growing inside you. His baby. God, it sounded weird, yet so good at the same time. It was thoughts of his little one that had him drifting off to sleep.

 Jacob was home for the next five days before off on a short road trip before Thanksgiving. It was after a one point loss that he brought up finally being able to tell people about your pregnancy. The two of you were driving home after the game and you could tell his mind was preoccupied, you just assumed it was about the game. That was until he spoke. "I think we should tell everyone." It was sort of out of the blue and you had to admit you weren't sure if you were ready.

 "I don't know Jacob."

 Before you could say more, he looked over at you saying, "why?"

 "It's just...I'm the new person here. I've only been to three games counting tonight." He looked over again when you came to a stoplight, confused by what you were saying. "They're going to judge me." When he still didn't understand, you added, "They're all going to think I baby trapped you."

 "No, they won't."

 "Please, I know women, and you said it yourself; they're a family. I'll be looked at as the outsider that wanted to get her claws into a famous athlete."

 "I don't know about famous," he joked and you noticed that he tended to do that a lot. When you just gave him a look, he reached over and squeezed your thigh, letting his hand rest there after doing so. "I'm teasing (Y/N). I know these guys, they aren't going to think that way once we tell them. Hell, I'll take full blame. I mean I should've worn a condom, but if I'm being honest...I'm glad I didn't."

 You were shocked at his words, to the point that you had none yourself. "Don't look so shocked," Jacob said breaking the silence. "I'll admit, that kids weren't in my plans right now, but they were in them. And I have to say now, once I saw blueberry, who's now strawberry; I'm kind of excited to be a dad. I guess that's why I want to tell everyone."

 Well, shit, now he had you all weepy. You understood where he was coming from, there was something about seeing the baby on the ultrasound, even though you had no clue what you were looking at, and then hearing the heartbeat, well it made you feel the exact same way as he did. "Ok."

 "Ok?"

 "Ok, we can tell people."

 "Really? I didn't say that to make you change your mind or anything." His hand was running up and down your thigh now, more in an excited manner than seductive, yet it still sent tingles through your body.

 "I know, but I'll be twelve weeks in a couple days and then we're pretty much out of the woods according to the doctor." That had been your main concern, having a miscarriage. It would be hard enough on you let alone having to tell everyone who was sharing in your happiness.

 "Oh," Jacob exclaimed and you could tell that was something that hadn't really crossed his mind. "Well, we can wait then."

 "What if we compromise." After all, the two of you had been doing that a lot recently, no reason to stop now. "You're only gone a couple short days. We can tell everyone when you get back, at Thanksgiving." When you were with the other wives and girlfriends tonight they had mentioned that they were going to be doing a group thanksgiving dinner for those who wished to celebrate and didn't have family in town. It was a no-brainer to say yes, though you probably should've talked to Jacob first. It was too late for that now, as you were already down for bringing a couple pies for dessert.

 "That actually sounds like a good plan. Even if I didn't know we were officially going." There was that damn squeeze of your thigh again to let you know he was teasing. This time you played along.

 "Hmm, I don't remember you being mentioned in the invite, but I'm sure I can bring a plus one." You were half tempted to reach over to grasp his thigh, but you settled for just linking your fingers together with his, liking the fact that you two had this easiness with each other.

 "I'm fine with being your plus one anytime, prinsessa."

 Once the matter was settled the two of you concentrated on other things until you got home and he whisked you up to the bedroom. You had read that your sex drive might decrease some during these weeks of pregnancy but you were not finding that to be the fact. If anything, you were constantly, well the only word for it was, horny. Just being in Jacob's presence drove you wild, and it seemed to be the same for him. Though the two of you did have your tender moments, where you cuddled up on the couch to watch hockey; Jacob explaining the premises of the game better to you. There were also nights you would just lie in bed and talk about the baby. Jacob gently caressing the small bump on your belly that wasn't even noticeable unless you were naked, which around him seemed to be often.

 Before you knew it, he was off on another road trip. Immersing yourself in work during the day was easy, it was the nights that were long. Game nights, you found yourself at one of the other ladies houses watching the game together or just laughing and enjoying each other’s company, but then you would head home to an empty house and an even more vacant bed. It wasn’t lost on you that just a few short months ago, this was the life you wanted. No craved. Now here you were wishing that Jacob was home with you, preferably in bed, but just being in the house would be enough for you. Though you couldn’t complain too much as Jacob would call and facetime you several times each night.

 It wasn’t too long of a roadie, and before you knew it, he was back in Vancouver and you were getting ready for Thanksgiving. With each pie you baked, you had to admit you were getting more and more nervous at the idea of telling Jacob’s teammates. You’d taken the morning to tell his parents, who while not exactly thrilled about the way it happened, were happy for the both of you and excited about having a grandchild. Yours were pretty much the same, now understanding that your move to Canada was more than just business.

 Hours later, you were in the car headed to Chris Tanev’s place, where he and his girlfriend Kendra were hosting. You couldn’t stop your legs from bouncing as you went past neighborhood after neighborhood. “I’m telling you there’s nothing to be worried about,” Jacob insisted, placing his hand over your knee in an effort to get you to stop.

 “Yeah, well I’ll be better when it’s over and I don’t have to see the disapproving stares.”

 “You weren’t this nervous telling our families.”

 “I was for yours. I just wasn’t showing it on the outside.” Admittedly, you had been scared about telling them, but Jacob’s parents were just so kind. There were also words exchanged in Swedish which you had no clue as to their meaning, but Jacob assured you it was nothing bad at all. “Besides our parents aren’t going to judge us at the end of the day. Family kind of has to love you, even when you make mistakes.”

 “Mistakes, huh?”

 “That’s not what I meant.”

 “I know, just trying to take your mind off of everything. So, you’re cool with my parents coming over for a bit. I mean dad and I will be on the road a couple of days, so it’ll just be you and my mom, but I know she’s really excited about meeting you.”

 “Yeah, I’m actually looking forward to it.” Which was the honest to god’s truth. You wanted to learn all about Jacob and his family, for no matter what happened between the two of you, they would always be a part of the baby’s life. “I’m sure she’s got some good stories about you growing up. You know the ones that are way too embarrassing to tell, but mom’s do anyhow.” He groaned and you laughed. There were obviously some he didn’t want to be told and you were looking forward to hearing about those the most.

 “Maybe I should be rethinking this.”

 “Don’t you dare.” As the words rolled off your tongue, you realized you were pulling up to the Tanev residence.

 “Ready?” You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the next few hours. You planned on just following Jacob’s lead. It wasn’t like you were going to walk in and simply announce that you were pregnant; however, and whenever, he wanted to tell them, was his choice.

 He squeezed your hand one last time before the two of you exited the car. You grabbed the desserts, tossing two pies at Jacob before taking the last two, and heading to the door. “Welcome, guys,” Chris said as he opened the door, then took one of the pies off your hands. “Come on in.” Not everyone was there yet, which was rather nice. There were a few of the single players there, along with Sarah and Erik. You knew for sure Holly and Bo were coming as well and a few more of the couples, that you weren’t extremely close to yet, they just hadn’t arrived yet.

 Mike Del Zotto was quick to come up and throw an arm around you. “Hey (Y/N), it’s good to see you. Glad you two decided to join us. I thought maybe this guy would keep you all to himself. I know I would.” He gave you a quick wink, but it was the look on Jacob’s face that had you laughing. He was not happy with DZ flirting with you by any means.

 “Keep it up and we may just have to head home,” Jacob countered, though in a joking manner.

 “Men,” Sarah said, grabbing you from Michael’s hold so that she could hug you. “Why don’t you boys run along and watch football or something. Let’s go put these in the kitchen.” She took the pies from Jacob and headed off.

 Jacob came over and pecked you on the lips, before slyly asking, “You good?”

 “Yeah,” with that he gave your hip a final squeeze then went with the other guys to the movie room.

 “These look amazing,” Kendra told you, checking out the baked goods. “Where did you get them from?”

 “Oh, I made them. I hope that’s ok.”

 “Ok? Oh my god, of course, they’re probably way better than store-bought. Though you have me feeling guilty now because I did not make any of the food.” It was then that you noticed large tinfoil pans here and there in the kitchen with a couple in the oven. “I like to cook, but not for this herd. I don’t have enough oven space for the number of turkeys we’d need.”

 “Well, I’m still amazed at you having everyone,” you told her, for it had to be a feat hosting this many hockey players along with their significant others. “Everything looks amazing and your house is gorgeous by the way.”

 “Thank you. Would you like a glass?” Kendra held out a bottle of red wine, literally your weakness any other time than right now. “I was just pouring us a second.”

 “Yeah, join us,” Sarah added. “We’re going to need it with all this male testosterone today.”

 Somehow at the last couple of get-togethers, you’d managed to get out of drinking simply by saying that you had work the next day, but that would not be the case tomorrow. “I really shouldn’t, but a bottle of water would be great.”

 “One water coming up.” Kendra headed over to the fridge when you saw Sarah eyeing you funny.

 “Ok, so I have to ask.” This from Sarah as she still had that look on her face. It was the one Kennedy always made when she knew something. Nine times out of ten your best friend was always right, but then this was Sarah, someone who you considered a friend but didn’t know near as well. “You haven’t been drinking at any games and you’re not today. Are you….?” She paused letting the word pregnant just hang in the air, for you to fill in the blank.

 “Are you?” Kendra asked now fully into the conversation, yet still, neither said the word.

 All you could do was take a deep breath and say, “Yeah, I am.” Still not saying the P-word as if that would change the circumstance of your situation.

 “Oh my god, congratulations.” Sarah came running around the island to hug you. "That's amazing." You were stunned there wasn't a hint of disapproval on her face. And when you looked back at Kendra who was waiting her turn to hug you, all you could see was happiness as well.

 "Jacob is going to be a great father," Kendra told you when she wrapped you up in an embrace. "How far along are you?"

 "How far along is what?" Chris asked.

 "I hope you mean dinner because I'm starving," Del Zotto added.

 Bringing up the rear of the trio was Jacob and all you could do was give him a sheepish grin as Kendra broke the news. "Congratulations, Daddy."

 Both Michael and Chris turned to him, with shocked looks on their faces. "Why didn't you tell us, man?" Chris spoke first, as he clapped Jacob on the back then gave him the standard bro hug.

 "I planned on it today," Jacob answered while giving you a look both shocked and thrilled that you were the one spilling the beans. "Just hadn't found the right time."

 Del Zotto came up and hugged you first, followed by Chris, and the next thing you knew the whole place was congratulating the two of you. It was nothing like you thought, not one person questioned the fact that you'd just moved in together or started to see one another. Jacob had been right all along. They were just like your family, supportive of the decision the two of you had made. You were beginning to believe that this may work out. Especially, as your relationship with Jacob only seemed to grow stronger with each passing day.

 After Thanksgiving, things seemed to be moving in fast forward. You hit the twelve-week mark in your pregnancy, which meant another ultrasound and another chance for you and Jacob to further bond over the baby. It went from being a strawberry to being the size of a lime, according to the chart, and this time you could both see it was an actual baby growing inside of you. There was a distinct shape to its little arms and legs, which made the whole thing that much more real and exciting. Which is how you found yourself asking the girls how you would go about getting a little Canucks jersey with Jacob’s number and Daddy written on the back as a Christmas gift for Jacob. It was the first baby item that you bought and it felt so perfect.

 As Christmas drew near, you found yourself decorating Jacob’s house for the holiday season. Even though you’d been living in the house for several weeks, it still didn’t feel like your home quite yet. Jacob had few holiday decorations, so you found yourself shopping more than you cared to admit. By the time he arrived home, you had the house transformed into something worthy of a Hallmark movie. It wasn’t what Jacob was used to by any means considering the Swedes are more classic and subtle when it came to holiday décor, but he loved it all the same.

 Christmas was a quiet affair. You opted to stay in Canada with Jacob, figuring that you might as well start making some new traditions, like celebrating on Christmas Eve as is done in Sweden. The two of you tried to mesh your holiday traditions as much as possible, so you agreed to open one present Christmas Eve after you had eaten some classic holiday dishes from Jacob’s homeland, then opting to open the rest Christmas morning as your family had always done. Jacob bought you a beautiful charm bracelet. There was a Welcome to Vegas charm, as well as a hockey stick, and Canucks one, but the one you loved the most was the one that had Mom to be written on a heart.

 “This is beautiful,” you said leaning over to give him a kiss. “Thank you.”

 You handed over your gift to him, which he took with a silly grin on his face. Tearing through the paper, he unwrapped the box in no time, then pulled out the tiny hockey sweater. “This is great (Y/N). I can’t wait to see him or her in it at the game.”

 “There’s more.” He looked at you curiously then peered back inside the box, seeing the gold chain lying inside. You’d seen him wear one on a few occasions but this had a little charm on the end. He looked at it several times before you finally gave in. “It’s the doppler sound of the baby’s heartbeat. I had told you I’d record it for you before we did the ultrasound here in Vancouver, but I still wanted you to have something to remember that moment.”

 His eyes started to well up, just like they had that day when you heard the heartbeat. “This is…wow…I love it.” It was Jacob’s turn to plant a kiss on your lips, only this one became a little more heated. He finally pulled away, but only to say, “Can you put it on me?”

 Thankfully he was seated on the couch, so you got up and placed the chain around his neck. The moment it was secure, he looked down at the charm and smiled, before reaching to grab you and pull you close again. This time speaking hushed words to the baby in Swedish as he always did.

 “I think for my New Year’s resolution, I’m going to learn Swedish. I’m dying to know what you tell the baby.”

 “That time, I said that they are so lucky to have the most wonderful mom in the world.” Well, if that didn’t make the heat rise to your cheeks. “There might have been a few other things as well. I’m more than happy to teach you though if you’d like to learn.”

 “I think I would. It would be nice to teach our child your native tongue, and they say to start as early as possible. Which it seems that you are.” He just grinned then hauled you down on his lap, cradling your small little bump once you were seated.

 “Well here’s your first lesson. You say God Jul for Merry Christmas in Swedish.”

 You repeated the words, butchering them a bit, then repeated it again much better. “Very good, prinsessa. Obviously, you know that one as well.”

 “I do. Though I wonder if I shall still get that title if we have a girl.”

 “Hmm, might have to change it to Drottning.”

 “I have no clue what that means, but it’s not nearly as romantic.” Jacob let out a bark of laughter.

 “No, I don’t suppose queen sounds as good in Swedish as it does English. I guess I will just have to think about it.”

 “Which makes me wonder, do you want a boy or a girl?” Everyone knew that all you both wanted was a healthy baby, but you wouldn’t lie and say that you’d love to see Jacob with a son. One he could teach all his hockey moves to, though he could just as easily do that with a girl. Maybe it was that you wanted a boy just so that you could see Jacob through him. One that had his sense of humor and good looks. Though your child would probably never be in trouble if he could replicate his father’s grin. It melted your heart every time you saw it. You had to shake yourself from where your thoughts were leading for you never saw yourself as this person; the kind that wanted to see the man that they loved reflected in their children.

 Did you literally just think that you loved Jacob? Certainly, you had feelings for him, but love; no, it couldn’t be that. You hadn’t known Jacob long enough to say you were in love with him. Hell, the two of you were in the process of getting a divorce. Weren’t people falling out of love when that happened and not into it?

 “Either will be fine, just healthy.” Jacob's voice brought you back to reality and where your train of thoughts was leading. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to explore those feelings; now was just not the right moment for it. Later, you thought, when you weren’t wrapped up in his arms with this warm fuzzy feeling from the holiday season already bubbling inside you.

 “Well, we both want that, but isn’t there one you want a little bit more than the other?” You probed further, ignoring those earlier thoughts.

 “Not really prinsessa.” He had to have some preference just as you did.

 “So, then you don’t want to know what we’re having?”

 “Not if you don’t.” He was too damn accommodating at times or was that he was disinterested. He was always talking to the baby, so you didn’t think that it was the latter.

 “We have a few more weeks to think about it.” No point in making the decision right now, maybe he would change his mind. “I made the next appointment for when you’re back, on the fifteenth. We’ll have to know by then.”

 He kissed your temple, hands running under your shirt so that he could caress the tiny baby bump. “We will, for now though, we better get to bed before Santa comes.”

 “Is Santa coming the reason you want to go?” you teased as you could feel his erection growing against you.

 “Well, if you let me, prinsessa, Santa won’t be the only one cuming.” God, you loved his sense of humor. There was that word again. It had you jumping off his lap in order for your mind to not wander down that path again.

 “Guess we better head to bed then.” He was swift to follow you, sweeping you off your feet and carrying you to the bedroom, where he definitely kept his word.

 It was two days later that he was headed off on a ten-day road trip. You were definitely not looking forward to it, as the house always seemed empty without him in it.

 The team played on New Year’s Eve and had it been anywhere else than New Jersey you would’ve gone to watch only so you could ring in the new year together. Instead, you spent that night with all the Canuck ladies, facetiming Jacob as the new year approached. Jacob was still going to be on the road for another five days, so you busied yourself by taking down all the holiday decorations. You decided to make the place a bit homier, adding pictures and artwork here and there. The place was really starting to feel more like home.

 The only room that still needed work, was the office. While your desk was neat and organized, Jacob’s was a disaster. Had been since the day you moved in. You were seriously starting to wonder how things got done with the mountain of papers on his desk. All those papers had been driving you crazy every day you came in to work. Jacob needed someone to organize him, or at least that’s what you told yourself as you sat in his chair and started to sift through piece after piece of mail and documents.

 There was a pile for bills, all of which somehow got paid, though you didn’t know how. A pile for legal documents and a miscellaneous pile that you needed to figure out where to put. Once you organized the first two, you moved on to the random ones that you weren’t one hundred percent sure of. You were halfway through when you came across a familiar envelope; the same one you’d sent the divorce papers back in. Why it hadn’t caught your attention when you first separated it, you weren’t sure?

 You opened it up, assuming it was a copy of the document you’d signed. What you found inside shocked you. It was the original paperwork. The blue ink you signed it in staring back at you, but that wasn’t the part that told you it was a copy. It was the fact that Jacob’s signature was nowhere to be found. He hadn’t signed it. Why? You’d both agreed to the divorce, it was practically a done deal, only now it wasn't.

taglist: @iculyrea​  @fiveholegoal​  @raysofcrosby @leafs-lover​ @sexysidney87​ @lovethepreds​  @miranda0102​  @stbluesbrat21  @perrieeloise  @mandypants95​  @hockeyunits​  @liz96893  @golfergirl1982​  @princessphilly​  @ajstylesworld​  @zinka8  @dontworrybeekappy​  @hiimana  @meishaabae​ @heatherawoowoo @beauvibaby @hockeybabe87 @leafs-forever @dancingonmyown87​ @himbos-on-ice

[thefanficmonster]

Corpse Infested

Corpse Husband & Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Mentions of dysfunctional family, Family problems, Swearing

Genre: Humor, Comfort, Platonic fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: When your friend disappears for a long time, seemingly having lost interest in what fueled the most passionate fire in their life, you cannot not worry about them. Even if you wanna give them space, you will reach out, you will offer your help. You will tell them they always have you to rely on and talk to.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! I’m really sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post your request, but here it finally is! Hope you come across it and if you do I hope you enjoy the read! Love, Vy ❤

For me, it’s never hard to find things to do. I’ve constantly got things on my mind and tasks to tend to, keeping me occupied and my mind focused at all times. I think that comes with living in a home as dysfunctional as this one. I honestly can’t recall a time when my parents got along nor can I think of a time where there was at least one second of peace while the two are both present in the house. It’s always a warzone up there. I’m saying up there because I tend to live out of the basement of their home. I know living in your parents’ basement is considered a peak loser point, or the bottom of the bottom, but you’d have to believe me when I say - I wasn’t always like this. In fact, I only recently came back to this hell-hole and boy do I regret it. I mean, it was a decision forced upon me by circumstances. Trust me, I tried every other option there was. When my dorm was to be closed down and demolished, we were given a notice to start planning our next move about a month early. You can bet I immediately started looking at places but my very tragic and miserable budget didn’t allow such a purchase. No rent was adequate for me and my near-empty wallet so my second option was moving in with my best friend who was also not in the greatest of situations but I thought I’d give that a shot too.

Spoiler alert: it didn’t work out. She lived in a tiny apartment with her boyfriend and his best friend at the time, so four people in one apartment was a nightmare. Still a lesser nightmare than this one but a nightmare nonetheless. Some unwanted and downright traumatizing events chased me out of that place after barely managing to pack my stuff. Therefore, finding myself on the streets again, I had no other option other than the obvious and least liked one: moving back in with my parents.

Making money during my first year of college hasn’t been easy. Working two jobs at once and also streaming video games on the side was what my time was filled with all throughout the first semester but then this damn pandemic started and now ruined everything for me. I had things going for me, I was slowly getting my life together and now it has all fallen apart yet again. The places I worked at closed down due to quarantine and I haven’t been able to steam, not only cause I’d be the victim of my parents’ comments but also cause my terrible home life would be exposed to all my fans and viewers. It’s not like I could cancel out the commotion going on right above my head, it’s a livestream and this house’s walls are cardboard thin meaning all the arguing I hear almost 24/7 will serve as background noise for my streams.

I haven’t reached out to my friends or fans to inform them of this which I feel slightly guilty about but I’m really not looking forward to having to lie to them, just as much as I’m not looking forward to having to tell them the truth so instead I’ve picked silence which is probably either worrying them or driving them insane. Either way, I’ll make my comeback soon.

Well....not very soon by the looks of it...

I have to gather the money, then I have to find a place, then comes the packing, moving out of here, moving into the new place...oh God, there’s so much to it that I don’t even wanna think about. Just that thought that I’ll be inactive for that long makes my stomach turn. Streaming’s where I’ve been channeling all my negative emotions, turning them into something positive and entertaining with the help of my friends.

Speaking of my friends, I should probably put emphasis on how amazing they are. Basically the older siblings I’ve always wished I had. I’m the baby of the group, the eighteen year old freshman in college, powering through life the best they can cause they are constantly getting tripped up by inconvenient occurrences such as this one for example. I tend to have the gang poke fun at me quite frequently - all lighthearted and with good intentions obviously - but they are also the ones to get super defensive if anyone gets the balls to talk shit about me. They’d never allow me to be the victim of any smack talk or online rumors and ‘cancel culture’ or whatever the hell people will come up with to leave others restless and wondering if they did something shady a decade ago. Well, to be fair, I didn’t even know about the concept of social media a decade ago and I’ve never been one to post much but I still have a protection squad in case anyone decides to come after me.

Little do they know the people I need protecting from are the very people that are supposed to protect me - my parents. Luckily, they don’t venture into to basement very often if at all and I have my own exit to the outside world so I don’t have to run into them unless I absolutely have to. The only time I emerge to the surface of the house - aka the ground floor - I do so to leave my share of rent money on the dining table and I usually do it when they aren’t home or when they’re asleep - that happens often with how many bottles they each knock back on the daily.

*sigh*...at least I don’t have to talk to them, right?

Anyhow, remember how I mentioned I always have things to do? Well, right now I’ve tasked myself with rifling through the large boxes containing random stuff I found in one of the basements down here to see if there’s anything I could possibly sell online. For starters, I’d like to hope there aren’t any severed body parts in here because this was one shady-ass basement before I moved in and un-creeped it a bit so I wouldn’t have to become an insomniac due to the paranoia of there being a homeless person down here with me or some paranormal entity. Regardless, old basements tend to be, apart from haunted, also filled with junk no one would find valuable despite it actually being worth something after all. That’s basically what I’m hoping to find at the moment.

As I dig through the contents of the first box, the YouTube playlist I have put on on my phone cuts off causing me to furrow my brows in confusion for a second before my ringtone pierces the silence the lack of music created.

I quickly mute the ringing and take a look at the Caller ID to see a name I never thought would pop up on my screen as an incoming call - Corpse. I, as well as many of our friends, know that he’s not the biggest fan of talking to people on the phone so this is rather surprising. Still, I pick up the call in case it’s not a mistake and an odd chance that it’s somethin urgent cause Lord knows Corpse doesn’t call people willy-nilly. 

Thank God it’s quiet up there at the moment.

“Hello?“ I try my best to cover up the confusion in my voice but I can only assume I didn’t do the best job considering Corpse replies with a slightly awkward chuckle.

“Surprised you, didn’t I?“ He asks, getting my cheeks to redden a bit, “You can’t blame a guy for calling after up and disappearing on him and on the whole internet. Where’ve you been?“

I open my mouth to respond when I hear the sound of glass breaking a shouted curse from upstairs.

Oh for fuck’s sake!

“Um...you know, places?“ I’m aware the answer isn’t only nonsensical but also sounds more like a question, but I can hardly focus on that right now. I’m too buys praying to an entity I don’t fully believe in for the situation above to not escalate.

“Uh, is everything ok over there? Where even are you right now?“ The teasing tone to his voice is all but gone at this point, replaced with deep concern, having obviously heard the commotion that did the exact opposite of what I prayed for - escalated.

“Y-yeah, it’s ok. It’s just another Thursday, you know.“ I attempt a small laugh but it’s blatantly miserable, “I moved back in with my parents when they announced the quarantine so that’s where I’m at now. They’re not the quietest of folks as you can tell so...“

“I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! I HOPE YOU DIE“

Oh crap, here we go.

“...So I can’t really stream a lot...or at all.“ I mutter, cringing with all my might, “But it’s only temporary! I’ll get back in the saddle as soon as I find another place to stay.“ I don’t dare mention how long that’s gonna take me, it’ll be too disappointing and depressing for the both of us. “So yeah...um...thanks for showing concern but there’s really nothing to worry about. I’m ok, everything’s ok, things are just...a bit off the rails, but I’ll fix em no problem. Like I always do!“ I attempt to sound as cheerful as possible with little success due to the overwhelming anger I feel towards those people upstairs and the gut-wrenching nostalgia for the world of streaming I can no longer be a part of because of them. Actually, I put the blame first on the pandemic and second on my parents - if it wasn’t for Covid I’d probably still be in my dorm!

“Hey...um, I think I know an affordable place where you can take up residence. Only if you want to, of course.“ He sounds hesitant but I easily overlook that as excitement bursts throughout my entire being at the sound if an escape being offered to me just like that. Had I known I’d find the solution to my problem in the very people I spent time avoiding because I was afraid of their pity, sympathy and judgement.

“Oh please, it could be a rat and roach infested shoe box and I’d go running to it. How much is rent?“ I ask through a gasp of hurried laughter that’s a result of my inability to contain said excitement. Listen, I’ve been sitting here in Hellsburg for three months now and haven’t gotten a proper shuteye during that whole period, whatever Corpse is offering has to be better than this misery.

“Rent can be discussed once you move in...“ He trails off, “And it’s not rat nor roach infested but there’s a slight issue...“

“Which is?“ I’m honestly expecting the worst: in a bad neighborhood; faulty wiring with a high chance of being electrocuted; faulty piping with a high chance of flooding; people have died there; things get randomly moved around in the middle of the night etc. However, I don’t voice any of them to avoid getting laughed at for my wild imagination.

“Well, uh, it’s corpse infested.“ He says a little awkwardly, causing me to let out an inaudible sigh.

So my ‘people have died there’ guess was on point, huh?

“People have died there, huh? Well, I can turn a blind eye to that as long as I don’t find their bodies in the closet or meet their spirits at 3AM.“ I attempt to joke, now second-guessing my eagerness to accept the offer.

Corpse bursts out laughing his ass off at my statement, getting me to furrow my eyebrows in confusion and wonder what I said was so funny - it was a poor attempt at a joke, it in no way deserves that sort of reaction, barely a chuckle in my opinion.

“You’re golden, Y/N, I swear.“ He says once he forces the laughter to subside, “I meant corpse infested as in Corpse Husband infested.“ He breaks out in another fit as my brain slowly starts connecting the dots.

Oooohh he’s asking me to go live with him

“Wait. Wait, wait, wait, hold up for a sec. Are you aware of what you’re offering me? I mean, we’ve never met IRL, you barely know me and....and for all you know I could be the serial killer in this situation!“ I have no idea why I’m pushing my luck, don’t ask. I just don’t want him to make a decision he’ll later regret, I guess. “Like, I could kill you in your sleep!“

“Would you?“ He asks confidently, silently stating he already knows the answer.

I roll my eyes, “Of course not! But...” He cuts me off.

“Great, the offer stands on my end. I’m not a noisy nor nosey roommate so I suggest you start packing. If you choose to live in that hell-hole over living with me, I’m sorry but I’ll be hella offended, just so you know.“

Corpse sounds like he’s about to hang up on me, a decision already made, so I hurry to stop him. “Wait! What about rent?”

“Fuck the rent, pack your bags.“ And just like that, despite my efforts, he hangs up on me.

Well...this is a chance of a lifetime that I know refusing would lead me to not only remain stuck here but also put me in the hugest loser bin. There’s also the fear of being Corpse’s burden which I’ll try my best not to be - I mean, I’m a super independent person and Lord knows that if this offer came any other time or from any other person, I would’ve declined asap, no discussion.

But streaming

But sleeping properly

But having a normal life again

Yeah those are most certainly the reasons I get up and go into the closet in search on my emptied suitcase. Time to fill it up again, I guess. This time with a smile on my face and excitement fueling each and every movement of mine.

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[flutistbyday-1]

Piece By Piece (rewrite)

If you haven't read my original, this isn't too different. I just added one scene.

Posted Nov 17, 2021

Want to find more of my works? Use the tag #flutistbydaywrites on my page to find ALL of my writings.

Want to add yourself to my tag list? Go HERE. I will no longer manually add tags!!!!!! I’m not even sorry about that.

Lots of love,

RED.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: this particular piece is a one-shot, but I plan on turning it into a short fic. This is a Song Fic, Based on “Piece By Piece”, sung by the lovely Kelly Clarkson. Check out the song before reading this and it’ll mean that much more. I’m honestly tearing up as I write this because the song resonates too deeply with me.

All characters belong to Pixelberry and the song belongs to Kelly Clarkson.

Please ignore all spelling and grammatical errors as I write all of my stuff on my phone!

I hope you enjoy this.

Word count: 2600ish.

Lots of love,

Red.

——-

Riley was six years old when her father left her. She remembers the day as if it happened yesterday. She remembers his bag on the floor; she remembers how hard it clattered and how it scared her.

Riley was ten when she was a ward of the state. She felt nothing but pain and hate in her little heart; no foster parents could make her feel safe and loved, so she bounced from house to house, never staying somewhere for more than three months. Her father called twice a year: once on Christmas Day and once on her birthday. She always told him she was happy and okay. He didn’t care anyhow.

Riley was smart; she never needed to study to get good grades. She feared nothing and no one. The teachers let her do her own thing. They knew that she had to heal on her own time.

Riley was sixteen when she was emancipated from the state. She dropped out of high school but perused her diploma online. Riley was two months from eighteen when she graduated high school and never looked back. She had invited her father to spend some time with her to celebrate, but her invitation came back with a “Return to Sender” stamp.

Riley was nineteen when she had her first apartment in New York City. She had spent a little under a year homeless; bouncing between shelters and living within the homeless communities. She had literally—in every sense of the word—lucked into a job as an intern for a local magazine company. She happened to be standing in front of the CEO of New York Weekly” in a Starbucks when ordering a coffee with money she had earned by cleaning houses, a job that she had just stumbled upon a month ago. She had been wearing clothes gifted to her by the family whose house she cleaned— they were rich and bought designer clothes and they loved Riley, so they took care of her. Standing at this particular Starbucks had been fate. Money that she had just been given, clothes that were gifted, and timing that had been orchestrated by the universe were all random factors that lead to this job.

This literal stroke of luck had led to her internship, then lead to a full-time position, then to an apartment, which was something Riley never dreamed of. The CEO of New York Weekly had been enamored with Riley the moment he set his eyes on her. Not in a romantic way, though. In a way that a father loves a daughter. It took Ted six months to convince Riley that not everyone was out to get her. Shortly after hiring Riley, he found she was homeless and rented out an apartment for her, rent-free for a year, on the terms that Riley signed a three-year contract. He handed her the keys to a new life, and Riley Brooks never looked back. She celebrated her twentieth birthday in her new apartment with coworkers who had fallen in love with Riley. She was hopeful and ready for a new life.

———

Four-and-a-half years after Riley set foot in New York, she felt whole for the first time since her father left. She had found a rhythm in her job, two life-long friends, and healing.

She had reached out to her father once on social media shortly before her twentieth birthday, but he never responded. Claire and Lindsey helped her heal and move on with her life. There was never anyone special for Riley, though. She had given up on that a long time ago.

Claire, Lindsey, and Riley were celebrating their collective birthdays, being as they were born on January 23rd, 24th, and 25th, respectively. They loved it. “Soul sisters”, they called themselves.

It was on this particular night in January that Riley was tipsy when she ran into a bachelor party. She caught the eye of a tall, muscular blond with smoldering eyes that night and fell in love with a Crown Prince.

She took a chance on him, not knowing how it would end. It was a whirlwind romance that ended with her as Queen, just on the cusp of twenty-six.

Riley adapted to the life of a queen easily—nothing was harder than being a ward of the state, then being homeless in NYC. Cordonia fell in love with Riley the moment she set foot on the soil. Liam stood by her during everything, never faltering in his faith. They only argued once— about children.

Liam and Riley had been married all of three weeks when he brought it up to her.

“I’ve never wanted children, Liam!” she hissed at her king.

“Why not, Riley?” His eyes were soft and understanding, but he was confused. He had briefly brought up children when they were engaged, and Riley had laughed. He thought it was just nerves.

“Because—” Tears welled up in Riley’s eyes. She never talked about him. She never talked about her father. Not even to Claire or Lindsey. She left that life behind the day she signed her name on the lease agreement. “— because, Liam, I never want to hurt my children.” Tears poured freely now. Riley’s wound was open, so many years later and Riley felt like she was six again, watching her father leave.

Liam scooped Riley up in his arms, kissing her forehead and temple. “Riley,” he cooed, “I can't imagine you ever hurting anyone.” He sat down in a large armchair with Riley in his hold. He held her tightly.

“You don’t understand, Liam,” she wailed. She felt like a child.

“So tell me,” he whispered.

Riley sobbed quietly for almost ten minutes before she could speak.

“Liam— I— I was a foster child before I lived in New York,” she offered as an explanation.

Liam was confused. “I don’t understand what that has to do with anything, Riley.” He tightened his arms around her reflexively.

“Liam,” she whispered after several more minutes, “I never thought I would love anyone the way I loved you. Do you remember how scared I was when you proposed?”

Liam laughed at the memory. “I thought you were going to run away from me, love.” His hand found her chin and he made Riley face him. She had that same deer-in-the-headlights look again. “I honestly didn’t think you’d walk down the aisle,” he admitted sadly.

Riley looked down, talking herself down from bolting.

“Liam, my father left me on my grandmother’s doorstep when I was six. He broke me. I swore I’d never love another man again.” Her shoulders slumped and Liam wipes away her tears. He didn’t speak, though. “When I moved to New York, I was homeless. It was sheer dumb luck that I landed the magazine gig. Ted, he was amazing.” She smiled sadly at the memory. “He saw right through my bullshit and offered me a job, an apartment, and a family. Everyone at NYW loved me in ways I never thought I could love again. Between them and my sisters, I healed enough . . .” Riley trailed off, knowing Liam could figure out the rest.

Not enough to love a man or children, Liam thought. He offered Riley a smile and a chaste kiss. “But I came along,” he pointed out.

Riley laughed loudly. “But you came along. And you swept me off my feet. You pieced me back together, Liam Rys, King of Cordonia.”

Liam beamed. “One could say the same about you, Riley Rys, Queen of Cordonia and my heart.”

“Liam—” Riley paused, not knowing what to say. “Liam, my father wrote me a letter and it arrived shortly after we announced our engagement. That’s why I was so mopey.”

Liam kissed Riley, trying to kiss the pain out of his wife’s eyes. He kissed her fiercely and protectively. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, quietly.

“Honestly, I didn’t know how to bring it up. ‘Hey, Liam, my piece of shit father wants something to do with me now that I’m a duchess.’” She made a face at the thought. “I didn’t want you to... I don’t know, beat him up?”

Liam chuckled. His head was now resting on Riley’s. “For you, My Queen, anything.”

Riley gave an exasperated grunt.

“What if you decide you don’t love me anymore?”

This made Liam laugh loudly, only irritating Riley. She half-heartedly smacked his shoulder.

“Riley Rys, I will never stop loving you. Not even after my heart stops beating. I will wait for you at the gates of heaven until you are with me again.”

Riley looked up at Liam. “Okay,” she whispered.

“Okay?”

“Okay, we can have children. As many as you want.”

Liam didn’t need to hear anything else. He picked up his queen and laid her in their bed. They made love with a purpose that night— Riley apologizing for keeping secrets and Liam washing away any fear or doubt she ever had about their relationship.

Not even a year later, Riley was pregnant with the Crown Prince or Princess. She felt fluttering in her stomach one day at lunch and dropped her glass. It shattered loudly, causing momentary panic. Bastien bolted to her side, afraid Riley was hurt. Liam was afraid for the baby.

“Your Majesty!” Bastien cried, eyes searching the room for any signs of danger.

“Riley, what is it?” He pleaded.

Riley’s hands were gripped on her stomach and she was looking down at it, not acknowledging anything.

Once he determined there was no danger in the room, Bastien focused on his Queen. She still had a death grip on her stomach. “Your Majesty, I implore you! Please tell us what’s wrong.” Bastien was nervous.

“Here,” Riley said without looking up, holding her hand out to Bastien. Bastien apprehensively held out his hand.

Liam looked to Bastien, but Bastien shook his head. He had no idea.

Riley yanked on Bastien’s hand, pulling him to her. Lord have mercy, Riley is strong, he thought. Riley took Bastien’s hand, placed it on her stomach firmly, never once looking up. Then he felt it. A little flutter. He laughed. His heart was happy for Riley and Liam. “Your Majesty,” he said coolly. “Maybe we should let His Majesty feel.”

“Oh!” Riley said, suddenly snapping out of her Revere. “Of course! I’m so sorry, Liam! I had to let Bastien know not to call an ambulance.”

With just as much force, she yanked Liam’s hand and set it on her stomach. Liam’s eyes lit up momentarily before tears welled. “Our baby,” he whispered.

“Our baby,” Riley agreed.

They stayed in their little bubble just long enough for Bastien to take out his phone and snap a quick picture— Liam looked up at him just as he put his phone away. Busted. Bastien smiled guiltily, but Liam mouthed thank you before turning back to Riley.

When Riley was in labor, Liam never left her side. It wasn’t easy labor. She was edging on preeclampsia and was under the careful eye of several doctors. The epidural did nothing to ease Riley’s contractions. She screamed and cursed while grasping Liam’s hand for support. Liam was in pain, too, that day and long night. He hated seeing Riley like this.

Their baby came hell or high water, completely healthy.

Maxwell, Hana, and Drake never left the hospital either. They were allowed in the room at first, but Riley was too uncomfortable after only about an hour. Maxwell paced, Hana anxiously wrung her hands, and Drake wished he was halfway down a bottle of whiskey.

“Drake!” Liam’s voice boomed into the waiting room, scaring everyone. Drake sprung up, running to his best friend.

Drake saw Liam’s face— anxious and upset, stained with tears.

“It’s Riley,” he started, fumbling his words. So unlike him. “She’s preeclamptic. She’s bleeding out. They’re taking her to an OR and I can’t be in there by myself. Please,” he begged Drake. Please come with me so I don’t have to be alone if Riley dies. He didn’t have to say that out loud for Drake to understand.

They donned sterile scrubs, caps, and booties in record time. Riley was already under anesthesia and open on the table when they were allowed in. Liam darted in without acknowledging his security.

Bastien gripped Drake’s shoulder, stopping him in his tracks. “You have to stay calm for him, Drake.” Bastien’s voice was muffled, but Drake nodded in understanding. “It’s not pretty, Drake,” Bastien warned.

Drake nudged past Bastien. Despite the warning, he was nauseated at the sight before him. His stomach lurched. His eyes looked up to see Liam sitting at Riley’s head, not as a king, but as a broken man whose wife was in danger. He went to Liam and put his hand on Liam’s shoulder. There was a curtain separating Riley’s chest from her abdomen so that her husband and friend couldn’t see what was happening.

Time seemed to stop. Liam couldn’t focus on anything besides his wife’s lifeless form in front of him and Drake couldn’t focus on anything besides Liam.

“Your Majesty,” a Doctor said, after what seemed like hours.

Liam didn’t hear her. He was staring at Riley. Drake nudged him. His head snapped up, confusion on his face. Drake looked in the direction of Doctor, holding Liam’s baby. Liam’s eyes followed Drake’s.

Liam stood, a king once again. He strode over to the doctor and took his child out of her arms. The doctor smiled brightly at Liam.

“Congratulations!”

Liam smiled brightly as he looked down at his daughter. My god, she is beautiful, he thought. She looks just like Riley. He kissed her forehead and she whimpered. His heart swelled. Her eyes fluttered open for half a second— bright blue like Riley’s, not brown like Liam’s.

“Baby is healthy, Your Majesty. We have to stop the bleeding in Her Majesty’s abdomen and close her up. You may stay, but the baby needs to go.”

“Thank you,” Liam responded, not looking up from his princess. He walked over to Drake, pride radiating off him. “Would you like to hold your niece, Drake? She needs to meet Hana and Maxwell and I must stay with Riley.”

“Niece?!” Drake exclaimed! “Her?” Drake held out his arms, love overpowering nerves. Drake cradled his niece, the Crown Princess, and realized that if he felt this protective of her, Liam must feel even more so. “Do you have a name?” He mused.

Liam had migrated back to Riley’s head. He sat so that his body protected her upper half. He couldn’t protect her from herself, but he could shield the outside world from looking at his wife.

“Mary Eleanor Louise,” he murmured, briefly looking back at Drake. He smiled. “After her great grandmothers and my mother. Her nickname will be Ella.” Liam looked back at his wife. He wasn’t worried about his child at the moment; he knew Drake would never let harm come to his daughter.

Drake made his way out of the OR, holding precious Ella in his arms. His nerves suddenly took over again and he was afraid he was going to drop the princess. He stood outside the OR door, gathering himself. He was trying not to worry about Riley and he was trying not to worry about dropping Ella.

Bastien noticed his discomfort. “May I?” He asked. Bastien didn’t wait for permission before adjusting Drake’s arms and posture. “You are holding the heir to the throne, Drake Walker. Don’t forget it.” His tone was stern but his eyes were soft.

“Never,” Drake whispered reverently.

PERMA//FOREVER

@kingliam2019

@glaimtruelovealways

@drakewalker04

@kimmiedoo5

@imthequeenofcordonia

@texaskitten30

@dcbbw

@cordonia-gothqueen

@custaroonie

@shz256

@hopefulmoonobject

@sanchita012

@bebepac

@ac27dj

@we-lazystudent

@losingbraincellseveryday

@mom2000aggie

@jamzm

@gkittylove99

@neotericthemis

@busywoman

[serenityseventeen]

Love & Letter: To The Thirteen Boys I've Loved Before

The Second Letter

----------------

To: Yoon Jeonghan

From: Y/N

Dear Jeonghan,

I hope everything's going well with you, wherever you are. I'm writing you a letter without knowing where you are so even if I did ever decide to send this letter, I wouldn't know where to mail it.

Are you doing well? Why don't you call me? Contact me somehow? Why don't you say something to me? Don't you have anything you want to say to me? Oh right, you don't have my number. I don't know any of your social media accounts and you don't know any of mine. I can search on Facebook for you, through a thousand different “Yoon Jeonghan” profiles, but what would be the point?

Actually, I'm angry with you. I'm really angry and I'm a bit heartbroken too because you just took my heart and left.

Why didn't you tell me beforehand?

I waited for you to return. I spent the rest of my freshman year waiting and I even waited through my summer break, hoping that maybe you'd come back or send a letter. School starts in a month and you still aren't here. I don't know what I feel toward you anymore because you're gone. Do I love you since I'm angry at you like this?

From the first day we met, I could tell we didn't match. I don't even know why you pursued me. You joined the basketball team and whenever you had games, you wanted me to come to watch. I didn't know why so I refused the first few games.

We had many classes together, you know that. Did you use the advantage of being in the same classes as me to try to get to know me? What were your intentions when you asked me if I had lunch? Why did you always ask my friends if I was eating well?

I have so many questions I'm dying to ask now that you're gone. One day you were laughing, joking with me while I watched you practice basketball and the next day you suddenly disappeared. One day of absence turned into months, then half a year. I didn't want to ask but I was dying to know.

Then, the answer finally came.

You moved?

Why didn't you tell me anything?

I thought we were developing something special, was that only me? I thought that you liked me, that's why you did so many things to me, making my heart race and pound. Am I wrong?

If I am wrong, why did you do it?

Maybe I'm completely getting the wrong idea and the sudden move wasn't your fault. I bet that it wasn't your fault. I'm just angry that you didn't inform me. Not everyone moves houses in one day, it takes a lot of planning, doesn't it?

Now I'm just left here, confused.

Now I'm just left here, reminiscing about my second love that disappeared. I'm still remembering the first day we met when you bumped into me at the stairs and held me to keep me from falling backward.

Jeonghan, just, where did you go?

I know this message will never reach you anyway, anyhow, so I'll tell you this much.

Because of you, I changed. Hanging out around a mischievous guy like you made me pick up your habits. Before I knew it, I was playing small pranks on my dad and enjoying it, just like when you and I teamed up to prank the gym teacher into thinking that he had sat on a freshly painted bench. I can still remember how long I laughed because of it.

I still have the pen that you forgot when you were here to study with me. My father constantly asks me where you are and I always reply that I don't know because I don't know.

You came by twice every week for three months because you wanted me to tutor you. I don't know if I became a sheep to you but even though I knew you were gifted intelligent, I tutored you anyway. Jeonghan, you were one of those people who didn't need to study to ace a test. Even your methods of trickery are intelligent.

So as I reminisce, I also wonder why you would do something like that if you didn't like me. You were the one who told me that all men act like this, wanting to be around someone, making up excuses to stay close, and doing things they won't normally do if they like someone. Was that all a trick, Jeonghan?

Not only did you study with me but you studied the times that my dad was gone and came by when he wasn't here. You were respectful toward my dad and kind too, so I wondered how you could have such a naughty nature but at the same time be so caring.

It was one of those days when my dad went to work that you came over. Look, I was so confused that's why I kept stuttering. I knew that you weren't supposed to be at my house at that time of night so we stayed on the porch, gazing at the fallen sky. What were you thinking about? You stared for a long time and didn't say a word. It was the middle of winter too and you came by with your hands tucked in your puffy black jacket with your nose cutely red. You remember this night, don't you? If you don't, I'd go even more nuts than I did.

Why did you kiss me that night?

I mean, we weren't even talking, just gazing at the sky where stars were barely visible. Then all of a sudden, you said, “Look at me.”

I turned to you and then all of a sudden, you kissed me. I honestly didn't expect to get a kiss this early in my life and for it to be from you, the second love who disappeared, I can't be any more disappointed.

Jeonghan, the thief.

Your lips were cold at first but then they grew warm. I'm also sorry if I didn't know how to kiss. I just went with the flow and followed the way your thin lips moved against mine. Your hand also touched my neck as you kissed me, I could still feel the warmth of it lingering on my skin.

After you left that night after kissing me quietly, making my heart burn in the cold night, you stroked my hair. I ran inside my room and rolled on my bed, wanting to scream on my bedsheets because my lips have finally been pressed against another man. A boy that I liked at that.

How about you?

Do you think about that night at all?

It was about two days before you moved away.

Strangely, the next days, you continued to talk to me as if you didn't kiss me the days before. I was confused but since I was naive, I just believed that's how it went for everybody.

Also, because of that kiss, I began to notice your gaze. Maybe I could have noticed something in those two days before your departure. I just remember seeing you gazing at me with different eyes. I want to believe that you had fallen for me, but because of you, I'm being delusional like this.

The only way to know is when you finally decide to speak it true somewhere and it reaches me.

In this letter to you, I just can't help expressing the emotions I'm feeling. I have nowhere else to rant and I need you to know about my feelings though you'll never receive this letter.

Gosh, writing this letter makes me remember the weekend that you took me biking on a couple bicycle. Why did you ask me to go with you when you were leaving the next day? It's not like you at all. Knowing you for those short six months, you would have just told me with a pitiful face, “I'm going to move.”

Instead, you kissed me and decided to take me biking. I can still remember that grin on your face when you came to my house and said, “Hop on, Y/N.”

The wind that hit my face that day was amazing and my heart was racing just to have my hands around your waist.

Because of you, I became rebellious for the first time. I never disobeyed my father. He told me to go buy groceries that day and I went on a bike ride with you, enjoying the chilly winter breeze and ditching groceries. When we arrived at the basketball court, I watched and played a bit of basketball with you. Do you know what that means, Jeonghan?

Were you aware this whole time of my feelings? I know you can read other people's expressions well.

I can't understand you, Jeonghan. I don't think I ever will unless you come back and tell me.

I won't believe what any of your friends say even if it's the only source I have. ‘You moved away because a different high school was giving you bigger opportunities’, how am I supposed to believe that? In the middle of the school year?

Now, all I can do is sigh.

I won't wait for you anymore. That's why I'm just going to leave it. I loved you. Now, you're just one of the boys I've loved. I'm not going to spend the rest of my summer waiting to find a needle in a haystack.

I'll remember how I loved you. I'll remember how you changed me. I'll remember how loving you changed me.

I'll wonder sometimes about what we could have been if you didn't leave. If you didn't leave, I think I would have still been in love with you. Now, I'm pretty sure I would still be in love with you, at least for a little longer.

Please, send me a letter.

I know the chances are low.

I'm still angry at you for not telling me. If you did like me and think you did it for our own good, you're wrong. At least I wouldn't have had to wait and worry for the weeks that you disappeared that your life's clock stopped ticking. If you did tell me beforehand, I would have known that you'd be fine and that you were just moving away.

Did you have no faith in us?

Or did you really find a better opportunity in a better high school somewhere far away?

I'm still angry.

Is this what you call ‘the one that got away’?

Anyway, I don't love you now, but if you come back, I might again. I can't make up my mind.

I miss you, Jeonghan.

Sincerely,

Y/N

-------------------

© serenityseventeen

6/18/21 - 9:51 pm

a/n: SEVENTEEN back on Instagram?? Seungcheol, Minghao, Vernon, Joshua, and Seungkwan posted today/yesterday. I didn't even notice WOOZI changed his profile picture. Also, I find Seungkwan and Seungcheol so funny...

SC: you are my escape

SK: you are my s.coups

But yay? Seventeen is back on Instagram!

[rainbowbutterfrosting]

The Revived - Chapter 22: Preparations

This is chapter 22 of the Dream SMP multichapter fic @dramaticsnakes​ and I wrote together! I hope you’ll enjoy!

AO3

Read in order (on Tumblr)

Characters in this chapter: Wilbur, Ghostbur

Word count: 3,093

Cw: pain, brief loneliness, implied derealization

Fic summary: Wilbur was alive, and it was such a magnificent feeling, that made his mind spark with anticipation. It didn’t take long, however, for Wilbur to realize that this new breath of life, was not just his own. An echo-y voice hides in the back of his mind, and before he knows it, the transparent version of him he saw at the endless train station, is a lot more ingrained than he’d expected him to be.

And Wilbur really shouldn’t care. Because he’d be damned, if he spent the life he’d awaited for so long, babysitting a lost cause of a ghost, stuck in the very same limbo Wilbur spent so long in. It was an even exchange, and one Wilbur wasn’t going to mess with. Why exactly he ends up setting out to get the ghost out of his mind, in order to save the both of them, however, is beyond him. And perhaps Wilbur’s past isn’t as easy to leave behind, as he’d hoped it would be.

Wilbur was somewhat thankful that the early morning interaction had been disheveled enough, for Wilbur not to have been asked to leave. It was kind of funny really, that even though Wilbur had been caught trespassing where he shouldn’t, the young boy had been far too distracted to kick him out. Far too confused and awkward. It seemed to be a general trend whenever Ranboo was talking to him.

Though perhaps Wilbur couldn’t act as if he was above that awkwardness, as he hadn’t even gotten around to asking exactly what kind of party it was. He assumed however, for natural reasons, that if it was a party for a toddler, presents for said toddler would be involved. Regardless, Wilbur didn’t think giving a present to a child would be looked down upon in any case. If anything, it might repair what he previously damaged. Even if it was an infinitesimal amount, it could still help.

“Oh oh oh! What should we get him?” Ghostbur asked excitedly, “What does he like? Red, gold, nether things, books…” He chuckled as he jokingly added, “Us! We could wrap ourselves in a present.”

Wilbur chuckled despite himself. “We could,” he said with a smile, feeling a bit of exhaustion dragging at him, but finding it easier and easier to ignore. “Let’s see if there’s anything we can use in these chests.”

Wilbur rummaged through them for a while, only managing to find four gold ingots that could perhaps interest the child. He briskly crafted them into a pair of gold boots that he figured would suit Michael’s size. He narrated the action to Ghostbur as he did it.

“They’re like rubber boots!” Ghostbur had commented excitedly.

“Mhm.”

“Oh, I have an idea!” 

“Shoot,” a smile lingered in his voice as he grabbed a dark gray satchel nearby. It was light-weight and durable. Perfect for a gift or two. He carefully put the golden boots inside it as Ghostbur rambled on cheerfully.

“So, hear me out. I’ve got the best idea ever in the whole universe. We should make him a card! He can hold and look at it, and you can be nice in it too!”

Wilbur walked downstairs, grabbing some sugar cane from the farm as he quickly pressed it into paper. A quill sat nearby as he picked it up. “Alright, so a simple message…” Wilbur’s voice trailed off.

“Okay, how about, ‘Oh, Michael, you are the most amazing person to exist and I hope you continue existing forever.’”  

Wilbur looked into the air as if he was on The Office. “Or we could go with something more general.”

“I gotcha! We can do ‘You are the most amazing person to exist and you are so cool that I hope you continue existing forever.’”

“First of all, I thought I said more general, not less.”

“I did make it more general! I removed Michael’s name from it.”

Wilbur facepalmed gently so it wouldn’t hurt Ghostbur. “I meant for it to be less… emotional? I don’t think that’s the right word, but I want the card to be neutral.”

Ghostbur hummed in agreement. “Okay. We can say ‘I feel neutral about your existence, but I do agree that you chose to exist at this current time, and by the way, you are also very cool.’”

Wilbur sighed, “I’ll take over the writing.” He narrated the words on the paper, “Dear Michael, The world will be at your feet someday! But for now, it's just these gold boots.” A smile slipped on his face at the words replaying in his mind in company with Ghostbur’s noises of approval.

“Oh can we do a drawing at the bottom? Michael likes drawings.”

Wilbur nodded, “Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

Ghostbur excitedly squealed, “Can we- oh my, I have so many good ideas.”

Wilbur chuckled, pleased to hear the ghost being his typical self again. “I can start with drawing Michael?”

Ghostbur clapped, “Yeah! And- and holding hands with him?”

“Sure, just give me one second.” He might have been a leader of a nation and a general for many soldiers, but Wilbur certainly was not an artist. He tried genuinely drawing a face, only for him to scratch it out and get a new paper out and transfer his original message onto it. Instead, he imitated Michael’s drawing style- stick figures. 

He drew playful lines across the bottom of the paper. He eventually formed a small stick person with little pig ears, a big smile, and black boots. He would have colored them, but he didn’t want to risk Michael eating the paper as he did just days ago. 

Next to Michael, he drew a slightly bigger person. Curly hair at the top and a rough trenchcoat around the body. He hesitantly finished the picture with a small smile on his own face. It felt a bit silly to draw like that. To be making a card for a child after everything, drawing handholding and smiles. Yet Ghostbur’s excitement was strangely infectious. It was sort of relieving in a sense, even if Wilbur wasn’t the type to fall for such bright positivity.

“Alright, the drawings are finished.” 

He was about to fold the paper into his pocket when Ghostbur called out, “Wait, did you put any stars on there?”

“No?”

“What kind of drawing is it if there’s no stars?!”

Wilbur sighed quietly as he quickly scribbled some stars in the corners. “Alright, I’m putting it away now-”

“Wait! Did you sign it?”

Wilbur furrowed his brow, “I’m giving it to him. He knows it’s from me.”

Ghostbur pleaded, “But cards always look better if they’re signed. Just a quick, ‘Love, Wilbur and Ghostbur’ makes the card a thousand times better! No- a billion!”

Wilbur sighed as he remained frozen in place before the words settled in. His mind easily processed the ridiculous request, but not the fact that Ghostbur wanted to be signed on the card too. Wilbur should have probably assumed it, but the idea didn’t fully settle with him. “Alright.” The words were quiet as he quickly wrote down, ‘Sincerely, Uncle Wilbur’.

"Is there anything else I need to add?"

"Hmm, I don't think so."

Wilbur gently placed the card in the satchel as he quickly ran up to see the clock once more, but he slightly frowned to see the hour hand still lingering between the four and five. He brushed it off though. He could easily occupy himself anyway. His eyes glazed over the books on the table before he internally groaned at the thought of hitting the books once again. 

He walked over to the table, placing the satchel onto it, before grabbing one of the books before Ghostbur spoke, "Oh, we're reading again?" His voice sounded slightly dismayed.

Wilbur shook his head, "Nah, I'm just putting away some books." Ghostbur made a pleased sound  as Wilbur quietly pushed the leather-bound book back into its spot. 

He sighed quietly at the odd silence of the room. He focused on the ticking of the clock. It

was a nice sound to focus on. It was a constant reminder he was still alive. Even if he wasn't

the happiest in his position, he was alive. 

An alive man that was going to attend a toddler's party with a homemade card that had poorly drawn stickmen inside.

He exhaled sharply through his nose, as he finished putting some of the books away. Most of them held no useful information anyhow, and perhaps leaving them out would appear suspicious, should Tubbo return.

He wondered for a brief moment if Ranboo intended on telling Tubbo about Wilbur’s presence in the bunker. He imagined Tubbo insisting on having a talk as soon as Wilbur arrived. Prime, Wilbur despised talks. He just hoped the awkwardness of the interaction, and Ranboo’s apparent secrecy, was enough for Ranboo to leave it out.

Wilbur walked downstairs, finding that his leg had almost healed during his days in the bunker. He was going to harvest some watermelon, simply to pass the time. As he was about to do so, his eyes fell upon something dusty, peeking out of a chest he hadn’t bothered looking much at before. He knew what it was. He closed his eyes momentarily, to get a hold of his thoughts, before walking to the chest, and taking out a dusty mirror. 

He rubbed the shiny end of it with his sleeve. The mirror was still vaguely cloudy, but it still showed him nonetheless. Well- not exactly him, but rather his body. The man who stared back was nearly unrecognizable with gray bruises scattered along his face that easily complemented the bags under his eyes.

Complement was a rather strong word as all of his features seemed off-putting to him. His greasy hair hung close to his pale-ish skin. He squished his face with one of his hands, truly making sure that his reflection was his own. Of course, the mirror version moved along with him, but he strangely wished it didn’t. 

His mind drifted back to his encounter with Ranboo. Had they really intended on inviting Wilbur to the party in the first place? Or had that been done out of pity?

The only good thing about his reflection was that he couldn’t see the burns along his chin anymore. He touched it gently, finding the skin to be a little softer than before. 

He automatically put the mirror down as he headed towards the shower that laid in the bunker. He stopped two steps away as Ghostbur chimed in, “What time is it over there?”

“Oh… I don’t know.” He was pulled out of his thoughts quite easily as he stayed frozen in place.

Confusion laced Ghostbur’s voice, “You can’t check?”

Wilbur shut his eyes tightly for a moment before taking a sharp breath, “I could, but I have to ask you something.”

Wilbur despised the cheeriness in Ghostbur’s response. “Ask away!”

Images of Wilbur’s face flashed through his own mind as he hesitantly asked, “Alright, Ghostie, there’s not an easy way to bring this up.” Ghostbur hummed in acknowledgement, not wanting to interrupt Wilbur. Despite Wilbur not wanting to continue on, he forced the words out of him, “So- do you know what a shower is?”

“Yeah! It’s one of those plants on the ground with pretty petals.”

A dry chuckle left Wilbur, “No, that’s a flower.”

“Oh. Is it what Tubbo uses in baking?”

Wilbur sighed this time, “No, that’s wheat flour.” As Ghostbur was about to give another guess, Wilbur cut him off, “I’ll just tell you.”

Ghostbur sounded slightly dismayed at his refused answers, “Alright.��

“Alright. Alright,” the words were quiet in his mind as he forced himself back on track. “A shower is something people do to get clean. They use soap and… water to do this.”

“Aww, I was about to guess that too.”

“Right.” It was now or never. “I think I need to take a shower.”

“Okay!”

Wilbur furrowed his brow, “You’re… okay with me taking a shower? You know it’s going to require water, right?”

Ghostbur’s breath hitched at the realization. “Ah. I thought you meant soap or water.”

Wilbur exhaled, the tension flowing through his body. “Yeah.”

“So why do you need to take one? I know people in general do it, but you can explain to him that water hurts me.”

Wilbur shook his head, “He can’t know about you.”

Child-like curiosity filled Ghostbur’s voice, but it was slightly dimmer than what it should have been, “Why?”

Wilbur pursed his lips. It was too risky to describe in words. With how little trust Tubbo had in Wilbur, it would most likely foil their plans of Ghostbur’s escape. The suspicion and worry in Tubbo’s eyes wouldn’t temporarily go away at a joke. There wouldn’t be a moment alone with his thoughts as everyone whispered about the mind of his. They wouldn’t say anything bad either, just harsh truths that hurt more than he’d like to imagine. The truths he thought he could escape by finishing his unfinished symphony. 

Wilbur’s failed nation transitioned to a mind that couldn’t go a day without the desperate need to talk to someone again. The need for someone to reassure him he was alive and he wasn’t imagining something in the train station again. He was quite imaginative in there. He made fantasy worlds with so many new people, but at the end of the day, he imagined Tommy by his side laughing or cooking breakfast with Tubbo again. 

On the rougher days, he would imagine Fundy there. Sometimes he talked about his problems to him, only to cry harder when he remembered his son wasn’t actually there. Or he would imagine Niki running a hand through his hair, telling him all the things he needed. He’d been without that real warm touch for thirteen years that holding himself made a shaky sob leave. It had been pathetic of him to imagine such things, but the silence got to you after a few years, after he had spent a long time growing bitter. No one could see him anyway, so maybe it hadn’t counted at all, as he thought about those potential blissful moments.

The moments he never got. Perhaps he was still at the train station after all, the slight buzz of the lights being the only noise he could hear. No one laughed with him when he came back. The most he got was a dry chuckle that he happened to witness. There was no one to hold or listen to him. Not a single person smiled at his return. He was alone in the train station he thought he escaped days ago.

Tears blurred his vision as he wrapped his arms around himself. He pushed his body against a wall as he slid down it. The gray wall that accompanied the gray floors and flickering fluorescent lights. The tunnel that didn’t stop seemed to stop his mind. It blocked him in every direction that led to happiness before his murmuring thoughts entered.

It took a moment to realize it wasn’t his thoughts, but rather an echoy version of them. “Wilbur? Is everything okay?”

Wilbur swallowed back a cry. “Yeah,” his voice shook for a moment as he tried to breathe normally. “Sorry I spaced out for a second.” There wasn’t a train station. He wasn’t back there. He was in the bunker. “What were you saying?”

Ghostbur quietly answered, “Nothing. Oh- earlier you said you wanted to take a shower?”

The words brought Wilbur back to a more tangible reality. “Right…” he said with a nod, pushing himself up from the ground, his posture wavering slightly. He swallowed something in his throat. “Are you… Are you okay with that?” he quickly added, “I’ll make it as brisk as I can I promise! It’ll mostly be to wash my hair, and to look and smell just a little more presentable.”

Ghostbur had very little reason to trust him. Wilbur was incredibly aware of that at this point, his promises losing all meaning at his forgetfulness, or plain dishonesty. “Of course. Just- Just don’t take too long please.”

“I won’t,” Wilbur said. “I promise,” he repeated, trying to add as much weight to the words as he could. Engrave them, so his mind wouldn’t drift away from it. To keep his mind from drifting away in general.

Gently he put his clothes aside, placing the familiar old trenchcoat and blouse in a little pile. He had associated the outfit with himself for so long, that looking at it apart from him, was almost surreal. Slowly, he walked into the shower. He put the temperature to be as cold as he could, unsure if there would even be hot water in a bunker like this. It would serve as a good reminder that he should make this quick. “I am going to turn it on now. It’ll… It’ll probably reach my entire body.” 

“Okay…” Ghostbur said. Wilbur caught himself missing the excitement from when they were making the card together. Frivolous. 

He placed his hand on the shower knob and turned it, careful not to let his hand too much under the water. It proved to be a rather needless endeavor though, as his face and body were immediately drenched in cold water. He immediately shivered from the feeling as he felt his movements become jittery and robotic. He heard hurried breaths from his mind, and whimpers of pain, though it was surprisingly silent this time around.

Wilbur let his hand through his hair, massaging his scalp. He grasped some soap next to the shower, and mixed some into his hair and on his body, quickly using the water to wash it off. His heart was beating fast, as he rushed to turn the knob once more, some soap still lingering on a few strands of hair. He bolted to the other side of the room, to dry all the remaining water off with a towel, almost as if the uncomfortably cold water was burning him too. The second he could no longer find a drop he let out a few breaths. “There we go. Done.”

Ghostbur took a moment before he replied, his own breathing calming down as well. “Okay… Okay, that’s good! T-thank you.”

Wilbur cringed slightly at the gratitude, not entirely certain what he was being thanked for. “Of course,” he said quietly, his breathing quite obvious and echo-y in the empty room. He suddenly realized that he missed the ticking of the clock. He shook his head, and put on his clothes again, unsure if the warmth they brought was comfort or something that settled heavier in his chest. He didn’t have time to dwell on it.

He walked out of the room, grabbing the satchel with Michael’s present in it. He glanced at the clock once more, finding that it was only around 5:30am. He stood in the middle of the bunker for a good minute, closing his eyes tightly, and holding on to the sound of the clock. When he opened his eyes once more, they settled on the potions he brewed over the past few days. There weren’t many, but they comforted him nonetheless. He absent-mindedly packed three strength potions into the satchel, perhaps planning on giving some to Tubbo and Ranboo as a gift. 

Then, with determined steps he started walking towards the exit. It felt as if a weight was slightly lifted as he walked out the bunker, though he had grown so used to the weight that he wasn’t sure if that was comforting to him or not. Once he found himself in Pogtopia, he decided to focus on the ground beneath his feet, rather than the buttons lining the walls.

When the sun reached Wilbur’s face, the rays seemed to make his vision less blurry in a sense. The darkness that was so welcoming before, and still called to him, was shoved away in favor of the sunrise.

He remembered right then, when he had declared the first sunrise he saw when he returned, his sunrise. A reminder of life, and opportunity. He stared at the bright sky for a little while. Gently, he placed the satchel on the ground, the glass bottles quietly clinging against each other, and sat down in the grass next to it. He breathed the air into his lungs, as his shoulders untensed. He watched the sunrise intently, as he waited for the party to approach.

[botwstoriesandsuch]

Heya!! Kip here! The @memorabiliazine preorders have just shipped, which means we can share our pieces now! I wrote this piece back in February, after theorizing about the presence of Robbie's Telescope being present in the Royal Tech Lab in Age of Calamity. So without further a do, here be my little essay/fic on some old ruins, or more specifically, its:

Cause of Destruction

The storm had come too late. Thankfully, it was all devastated.

She continued to run from the screaming.

The Sheikah woman headed for the hills, brittle trees littering the eastern side of the Lindor mountain side. If she hurried, she could meet up with the others who had—

A distant crack of thunder melded with the collapse of stone; she makes the mistake of glancing back.

In the greater horizon, the shadow of Hyrule Castle looms over a conquered dusk. A shrill cry—something between a roar and a whine—escapes from the cloudy malice beast that enshrouds the Hylian monument. But that was just the backdrop, the canvas for contrast. Closer still, in the billowing grass of North Hyrule Plain, the stormy winds cut through fog and smoke like a dagger.

In the opened wound, the faint silhouette of a building glows.

Blue.

Blue.

Blue.

She keeps running.

The color might have at one point been appealing—the symbol of the Royals, the pleasant hue that cloaked a perfect morning. But tonight it just haunted her...chased her...reminded her of the terrible deed that was done.

A horse came over the hills.

“HEY!” a man shouted, mounted on a grey horse. “MA’AM! HALT, PLEASE!”

Crap. She sucked in a breath through her teeth, clutched her limp, burned arm, and kept moving. I just need to reach the trees.

But the chase seemed over before it had even started. When she had first started running from the blue, some wandering captain had stopped her to ask what was wrong. There was a strange kindness in his striking eyes, a forgein concept in this land now stricken with grief, death, and paranoia. In her haste—and possibly shame of what she had done—she had just pushed the captain away and fled. Very inconspicuous…good job me.

Now it seems he had found her again. Any other day she might have commended him for his kindness in checking with some random Sheikah, during the end of the world no less.

But tonight, well...there’s a sliver of her that might have preferred death.

The woman tripped on a divet in the earth, crashing down on one of her badly burned legs, and hissed at the pain. The rain had muddied the path, and was staining her once white clothes a disgusting marron. The pounding of hooves grew closer, until they halted right next to her ears.

A pair of leather boots crashed into the mud.

“Ma’am, don’t get up. You’re injured. Please.”

The clang of metal armour accompanies the voice. Oh he was a captain alright, equipped well for the apocalypse. His metalspear and armour adorned in—

She looks up.

Blue.

A slight frown.

The man tries to help her to her feet, watching to not clutch on the wounds on her right side. “Whatcha doing all the way out here? The nearest settlement is a ways away.” The captain lifts up one of her arms, and his eyes widen just a bit. “Dammit...those burns look bad. We might getcha some aid...there’s a laboratory place nearby that I’m heading by, just due east and—”

“...Lab?” The woman can’t help but wonder aloud. No...you idiot, you can’t be serious.

The captain smiles again. “See now, that’s why I was so eager to catch your attention. You’re running in the wrong direction.” He points in the direction she was running towards. “Up where you’re going is just mountains. There’s a fancy smancy lab a bit south that could help patch you up better than—”

“If you head to that lab, you’ll die.” She lets the words linger for a moment. “Unless, of course, that was the desired plan for the evening.” The woman laughs to herself, but the sound is empty and dry.

He frowns. “...What?”

She’s silent, gears turning in her head. Goddess...how do I say this without—

She points east, the rain pattering on her outstretched sleeve. “Tell me, Captain. What do you see over there?”

The man pauses, his face contort with confusion. He follows her hand and stares at the blue.

“...North Hyrule Plain. Some building glowing blue over there…I’m assuming that’s the techno-wizz from the L—”

“Lab, yes. That would be the Royal Ancient Lab. Though I’m afraid it’s not glowing from ‘techno-wizz’ or anything of that sort, dear captain.”

She crosses her arms, turning to look away from the blue and hugging her knees. “It’s currently burning to the ground.”

An ugly pause, as the man seems to take a moment to digest this. He flickers his gaze between the Sheikah and the distant blue building.

“I-It’s...It’s raining though—”

“Blue flame, I’m afraid, is a bit more resistant. Plus, it’s been burning long before the storm came through.”

“What...I…” The captain sits next to her, plopping into the mud in disbelief. “I was really thinking that...why would…”

He turns to her, his eyes are stormy grey, with faint specks of blue, like embers. The captain’s tone is gravely serious. “Miss, why was that lab destroyed?”

The question catches her off guard. Her jaw’s clenched, but she breaks their staring contest and hides her surprise with a shrug. “Same reason as every other disaster today. Calamity Ganon destroyed it.”

There’s a crack of thunder, and the ground shudders at her lie.

“...No.” the man mumbles.

“Look, I know it’s a lot to process—”

“No, I mean,” he stands, hand reaching for his back, “that’s not what actually happened, is it ma’am?”

Crap. The Sheikah holds her hands in the air. “If this is about me shoving you earlier, I was just a bit—”

“Aw now don’tcha worry about that, I took no personal offense.” He scratches the blond stubble on his chin.

“Now the thing that I do find some mighty fine offense to, is the fact that there’s a good lick of a chance that I’m currently speaking to an arsonist traitor.”

There’s a BOOM, and in the distance, another large piece of the Royal Lab collapses into the earth. The blue grows brighter.

“Me? What in the name of Hylia are you—”

“Let’s not play dumb, ma’am. Trust me, I’m a sucker for some pleasantries and small talk, though I’m afraid addressing the fact that you burned down the nearest safe haven for miles is gonna take priority here.”

The Sheikah woman just fumes, attempting to get up in the captain’s face. “How DARE you accuse me of—”

She’s cut off by the shing of metal cutting through air. The captain twirls the spear on his back and points the end right at her neck, resting just below her chin. She scowls, but puts her hands in the air.

“You just don’t understan—”

“That’s a mighty fine torch you got there…” He clicks his tongue.

Both hands grip his spear steady, ready to pierce flesh at any moment. The captain gestures with a wink to the torch attached to her waist. It seems to still smolder slightly with faint blue embers.

The captain looks between the torch, and the blue fire in the horizon.

“Yes, a mighty fine torch indeed.” He presses the spear tip a bit further forward.

“And it’s glowing a familiar color.”

Cause of Destruction

An Analysis of the Destruction of the Royal Ancient Lab

By Dr. J Kippers

(But please, Kippers was my father, call me Kip)

So heroes are a thing, huh? Who’da thunk it! One minute, I’m continuing my travels, studying some cool rocks and bricks in Hyrule Field. Then the next, a giant malice pig appears and fights some teenage boy wielding a glowing stick. I definitely wasn’t cowering behind the ruins of a garrison bathroom while that all happened, and I definitely was doing some cool badass fighting moves with my...pen, to help that knight and save the world and stuff. Makes for a pretty cool story, yeah? HA, Traysi would kill for it…

But enough of my daring, slightly exaggerated, exploits. It’s been a few weeks since the world’s settled down from the Calamity’s defeat, which means I had prime time to settle back into my hometown, and put my years of travel and research to paper!

I spent the majority of my life studying the history of Hyrule as it fell to the Calamity 100 years ago...and with the world now revitalizing, it’s just prime time to get myself out there! Research wise, that is!

At first, I didn’t really know what to write, cause WOW there’s just so many topics to choose from. Plus there’s a lot on the line here, gotta make a good impression for whatever new kingdom that Princess Zelda’s got planned. She seems the scholarly type, yeah? I’m thinking I could snag some Hyrule history teach’ position at a rebuilt university or something… Princess has got an awful lot of focus on the reconstruction of different village ruins. Which is fair, cause who better to know how to rebuild these places than the people who were alive to see them in their prime!

And you see, that’s where my journey of knowledge began! People with first hand knowledge of the events of distant past are alive? OH a historian’s dream…my soul swells in happiness. Plus, I also got my researcher brain a-tingling. My dad’s friend’s cousin’s neighbor’s grandma’s dog’s breeder knew Dr. Robbie back in the day, so Sheikah tech is basically in my blood.

With these passions rejuvenated I had my goal! Publish some revolutionary new theory that combined my awesome knowledge for history, archeology, and tech! And what better place to see that than, (duh) the Royal Ancient Lab Ruins.

Now, there doesn’t seem to be much in these ruins…it’s absolutely barren. No weapons or treasures to be seen. Just your run-of-the-mill ruined ruins, destroyed long ago by the Calamity. And that was the end of the story.

At least that’s what I thought until I did a little more digging. See, as I was doing some additional research, I stumbled upon this old history/research book stored in the Kakariko archive. I have no idea where it came from...it’s titled...C-Caa...Creation? Creating? Creating a...Cham...it’s kinda faded and hard to read. But anyhow, this weird little history book was written by some guy named “Nine-tendons.” If someone out there has a copy feel free to hit me up, but for today’s sake title and author don’t really matter. The point is, one of the quotes in that book describes the ruins like this:

Royal Ancient Lab Ruins

It is thought that these ruins represent the ancient relic research facility that was under the direct rule of Hyrule Castle, but only the outer walls remain. There is no trace of the building’s interior, let alone any research materials.

The thoroughness of its destruction feels intentional. [Page 396, Cr_ating a Champ___, Nint__do.]

Now I’m not too familiar with the work of whoever Mr. Nin-Ten-doves is, but I strangely trust their word on the topic wholeheartedly. Call it a feeling from the divine if you must, but they’re right! It seems so much more obvious in hindsight.

My adventures into the other various ruins across Hyrule always gave me something to work with. The world is just crafted for exploration. Old treasure chests, weird rocks with a tiny talking tree fairy underneath. Hell, even a monster or two was always happy to inhabit even the smallest of ruins I’ve entered. Yet, there is absolutely nothing of prominence to be seen at the ruins of the Royal Ancient Lab. And I’ve double, triple, and quintuple-checked!

Why are there no rusted weapons...or treasures...or any records or evidence of anything, other than some crude stone walls and a rock? That kind of destruction is just unnecessarily absolute, even for the Calamity.

According to detailed drawings/notes I have in my records of Historical Works during the Age of Calamity (HW AOC for short), the Royal Ancient Lab was nearly three stories tall, with a royal blue ceiling, complete with a basement level, and an upper telescope! With even the smallest of structures (like simple ranch and village ruins) still standing today with plenty of artifacts, why is as great a structure as the Royal Lab so desolate?

Intentional, intentional, intentional...that word ran through my head for days, weeks, months even. Why would the Royal Ancient Lab be destroyed intentionally? Did the Calamity see it as that major a threat? No, that wouldn’t make sense, the movements of Calamity Ganon that day clearly show his intention to use the Sheikah power against the people of Hyrule. An Ancient Lab would be a major benefit, if anything…

So, surprising as it may be, the current prime suspect for the destruction of this lab would actually be…

The Sheikah just glares. “Well...what gave it away?

He shrugged his shoulders with a half smile. “Deductive reasoning, with a hint of some good ol’ luck perhaps.”

“Listen, I know this looks bad, but you have to understand—”

“Oh I understand quite well alright.” The captain gives a wink. “I try to be humble, but Mama always did say I was the smartest cookie she knew.”

He rests the end of his spear on her collarbone, the threat clearly still present, but it gives him the freedom to pace and wipe rain for his soaked blonde hair.

“See I know that Calamity Ganon’s corrupted every bit of Sheikah tech from here to Lurelin. I know that he’s been targeting Hylian settlements. ‘Seen it myself when some monsters and Guardians destroyed my regiment and post at Maritta Exchange, just a bit north from here. I know that the only reason the other settlements, like the Rito and Zora, are still standing is because Ganon’s focusing all his forces on finding and killing the Hylian Champion and the princess. And finally I know that because of that, there is not a Guardian or monster around for many a mile. I mean, just lookie over there.”

The woman turns her head, and sure enough, the plains are barren of all life. No movement of machine or beast or person.

“And now my assumption was—and do pardon me if my monologue is redundant to your traitor ears—that the nearest place of safety would be this royal laboratory of technology. It’s Sheikah run, so it wouldn’t be immediately targeted. Plus the last thing the Calamity would want is for his personal army of destruction to be...well, destroyed. Ifs I was them evil cloud demon thing, I woulda wanted the lab with all my corrupted techno babble soldiers to be kept in peak condition. However…”

The captain turns to the right, staring at the blazing blue building in the distance. “...That does not seem to be the case.”

The Sheikah opens her mouth to speak, but he holds up the spear again. “Now I’m thinking, the only reason someone would go about destroying that lab, would perhaps be to kill some people, no?”

“We didn’t—”

“Getting rid of the people who could possibly reverse the Guardian corruption...now I suppose that might be a good evil plan.”

“It was for the be—”

“Ma’am I’m all about looking on the bright side of things, but,” the captain flicks his head in the direction of the blue, “This ain’t exactly the light a’ hope I was wanting.”

“Maybe not, but—”

“So,who are ya? Yiga?”

“No, it’s—”

“Solo treason then. You getting revenge on someone ‘round here? A noble? The King? Or perhaps you’re just the sadistic type with the whole—”

“NO!”

The outburst surprises the both of them, and he hold the spear to ner neck firmly. Another crack of thunder reminds them of the silence that’s endured. The Sheikah finally sighs.

“Perhaps by definition I am an arsonist and a traitor, but for one thing, I wasn’t alone.”

The man’s eyes shine curiously, but she continues.

“I will gladly die alongside them, as my actions have only been for the benefit of Hyrule.”

The rain’s tempo quickens as she gets on her feet, but the captain doesn’t strike. She stares him down, eyes hidden behind strands of white hair.

“My name is Atsuko, a devoted researcher at the Royal Lab, and you may kill me if you think it just.”

Ok, now I know what you’re all thinking. You’re thinking “Kip! Why are you writing this official research paper like some drunken bar rant? How the hell are you gonna get noticed at this rate?” or “Kip! The hell are you thinking?? Sheikah destroying the Ancient Lab makes absolutely no sense?!”

So to that I say, firstly, uhhh you’re welcome for not being a boring posh, snobby lecturer.(Learned to value a personality over fancy words; lessons my granddad).

As for the latter, you are quite wrong my dear friend, quite wrong indeed. It makes an absolute butt-load of sense, and I’m gonna prove it was them, here and now! I mean that’s...kinda the whole point of an essay, yeah?

My fellow archeology, history, and tech lovers, not only do I know who is responsible for the Royal Lab’s destruction, but I know the true reason why and how! Let us start at the beginning!

What exactly is the lab, and what was its purpose? Well, as the name implies, it was a Sheikah-run laboratory under the hand of the royal family that researched and experimented with Ancient technology. Again, looking at references in HW AOC, I can place not only Guardian models and Ancient weaponry at the lab, but also the existence of blue flame lamps that seemingly powered the facility.

As we all know, it’s tough to mess around with Ancient parts without blue flame, which is the prime energy source for the Ancient Sheikah. Such are the existence of today’s Hateno and Akkala tech labs, located near blue flame furnaces. However! This brings into question exactly why the Royal Lab was constructed where it was…

There are only three places in all of Hyrule with natural blue flame deposits, or otherwise called “Ancient Furnaces.” That would be in Hateno, Akkala, and within Hyrule Castle itself. So why is the Royal Tech Lab so far from these Ancient Furnaces?

To answer this question, might I direct your attention towards explosions. That’s right folks, I’m talking bombs! (Please take this moment to imagine me creating an accompanying explosive sound effect with my mouth)

Some time ago, as I was analyzing the blue flame lamps in Deep Akkala, I ran into that hero of legend face to face! Nice guy, quiet and charming type. Smelled strangely like apples and burnt guts.

Long story short, I traded my entire supply of Hot-Footed Frogs and arrows for a chance to mess with his Sheikah Slate for a bit.

So during that brief period of research, I discovered that while Sheikah tech is usually well controlled—with bomb runes only going off on command by the push of a button—there is an exception! Bomb runes instantly react with blue flame, just one touch and they’ll instantly explode! Try it out yourself! Er, well. Ok, maybe not. Don’t do that, legally I’m not responsible. Plus, it’s not like any of you folk out there have access to bomb runes or a Sheikah Slate that you can play around and test it out for yourself like it’s some virtual game that you can switch around in your hands.

Bomb runes are giant bundles of compact Sheikah tech. When in contact with a pure blue flame, they go boom. The process with the Sheikah Slate must simplify this process with a remote button, but as I’ve discovered, the process can be hastened by chucking a torch around.

I call this phenomenon of blue flame reacting destructively with Sheikah technology a “blue combustion!” I’m creative, I know.

I imagine, any experimentation with weapons that harness, compress, or just generally mess with Sheikah tech and lasers, must be conducted in an environment that prevents blue combustion. You don’t want pure blue flame touching stuff. Otherwise you go kaboom.

Now I couldn’t get a hold of Dr. Robbie or Director Purah myself, something about how they “don’t know who the heck” I am, and “you’re trespassing please get off it’s private property,” or something of the sort, I’m not really sure. But even without their testimonies, you’ll notice that their large tech labs are constructed a distance away from the actual Ancient Furnace. They aren’t right beside it. If they were, you risk losing a limb to a blue combustion. That is also why blue flame lamps exist: to stagger the distance between the flames. And thus is why the Royal Lab isn’t nearby an Ancient Furnace.

Yet even so, the distance the Royal Lab has from an Ancient Furnace might still stump you, because even compared to the Akkala and Hateno labs, it is very very far. But here’s the kicker, my dear curious readers and poor editor, the reason for this extreme distance is because during its prime, the Royal Ancient Lab housed a large portion of the Guardian army and weaponry. It needed more distance because its contents accumulated a much larger space. I can prove this not only by descriptions shown in HW AOC, but also by notes/drawings shown in the archive called the Backgrounds of Technological Wonders, or BOTW for short.

Both these sources show that while Guardians were tested and stationed in Hyrule Castle, the number of Guardians at the castle was probably only in the one hundred mark or less. Now that may seem like a lot, but remember, hundreds of Guardians were dug up, as especially shown in the famous Sheikah tapestry of 10,000 years ago. Arguably even thousands, considering that tapestry is a simplification.

So if we can only account for only a portion of the Guardian population at Hyrule Castle, where are the rest? Scattered across different garrisons perhaps, sure. But they’d mainly be in the facility where each of the Guardians were constructed and given power, the place full of the most talented Sheikah researchers, a location that would still be in decent proximity, but still a safe distance from the castle should an emergency arise: the Royal Ancient Tech Lab. That’s where most of Guardians are.

Now, why is this important? Why did I just spend a few paragraphs talking about blue flames and Guardians and locations when this is about the lab’s destruction and demise?

It’s because this is my sure fire way to prove to you that the Calamity did not destroy the Royal Lab.

The Royal Ancient Lab was constructed specifically to create the best Guardians and technology to beat the Calamity with.

It would have been constructed specifically to avoid any fatal blue combustion accidents.

And it sure as hell wouldn’t have been purposefully destroyed by the Calamity, the one entity who would benefit from its existence.

The lab was decimated by a blue combustion, no question. There isn’t anything as powerful as it that could destroy a place so completely. And now knowing the factors surrounding the lab itself, we know that if it was destroyed by a combustion, it was not because of an accident.

It could only have been done purposefully, by the only people who would know the Royal Lab’s weaknesses.

It could only have been brought down by the Sheikah researchers.

So now, the questions of exactly how and why remain.

The captain just stands and ponders.

“Ma’am, I must confess that I don’t find the science of the destruction nearly as interesting as exactly what made you decide to do it.”

“It’s like I said,” Atsuko clutches her burned arm, “It wasn’t just me. Really, now, you’re too kind to give me so much credit.”

The spear end moves closer to her neck. “Alright alright alright, sorry, pal. Look I have no idea if you’re even believing all this right now, but you have to trust me that our actions were of the best intentions.”

The captain smirks. “Do tell?”

According to BOTW, the Ancient Arrow was developed by Dr. Robbie as one of the most powerful means of combating the Calamity itself. In fact, according to research I’ve found in that CAC book by Mint-en-do, I can place the exact time for the development of this weapon, which I can use to glean information about it’s properties.

Ancient Arrow

Perhaps forty or fifty years after the day of the Great Calamity Robbie, the lead Guardian researcher, created the first weapon that was effective against the mechanical monsters: the ancient arrow... Flames come out from the burner like bit [of the Ancient Arrow] and form a blade. [Page 388 and 178, Cr_ating a Champ___, Nint__do.]

The arrow instantly vaporizes whatever it comes into contact with, tearing apart the subject by the molecule, and sending them to non-existence. The description of the weapon implies that it is the pure energy of a blue flame, and built quite differently than other Sheikah weapons.

And the difference definitely shows. I’ve handled a few of these puppies myself, and let me tell you, they get the job done. While an Ancient sword or axe will certainly do some damage, a single Ancient Arrow can take out a Guardian, or even a Lynel in one hit. I heard that they could even do major damage to Dark Beast Ganon itself!

Now, why do I bring this up? Because this Ancient Arrow proves that the Sheikah 100 years ago knew about the dangers of blue combustion.

An Ancient Arrow is clearly the result of intensive research into blue combustion, it is literally a pure blue flame on a stick pumped up with some Ancient Tech. It vaporizes whatever matter it touches and it ceases to exist.

Hmm...would be a fine explanation as to why the nearly three stories worth of stone and ceiling in the Royal Lab no longer can be found.

And why wasn’t the Ancient Arrow developed sooner? It’s because no one thought to purposefully cause an event that would destroy everything until they were forced to on the actual day of the Calamity. It’s because it took even the most brilliant of scientists half a century to even contain a feat of destruction into a single arrowtip? Yes...when you lay out the facts like that, it seems to make sense on the timeline.

Ah, but I’m getting ahead of myself. Back to the question of “why?” Let me rewind to an earlier point. Where are the thousands of Guardians in Hyrule?

Yes, a good hundred or so could be found in Hyrule Castle, and the majority were in the Royal Ancient Lab. But today, where are they? Records in BOTW cite only 157 Guardian remains in all of Hyrule. 157. How? That’s impossible. Witnesses and notes in HW AOC prove that much, much more existed. And what’s more is that we know that the majority of those Guardians were at the Royal Lab, but there are no Guardians, active or otherwise, to be found there. There is nothing.

It’s almost as if all those Guardians were vaporized, they ceased to exist one day.

And you know what.

They did.

(Please take this time to imagine me winking)

There’s some theme or metaphor here about the Royal Ancient Lab, constructed in the blues of the Royal family, ironically being destroyed by the blue combustion—but what do I look like, a writer? Find your own secret to life, here’s the blunt of it.

The Sheikah knew about the dangers a blue combustion could do, but on the day of the Calamity, they used that knowledge for the better. Seeing the corrupted Guardians in the distant castle, it is my belief that the researchers there purposefully brought the blue flames—that they had so carefully separated outside in the lanterns—in contact with Ancient Technology. Things not only went kaboom, but the actual matter ceased to exist. A giant Ancient Arrow.

Thousands of Guardians, hundreds of blades and weapons, and honestly, probably even lives, were gone in an instant. The only remains of the carnage would be the aftermath of blue flames that spread across the remains of the outer walls.

The Sheikah did this because it would save the most lives. That’s hundreds and thousands of Guardians and machines that wouldn’t fall into Ganon’s clutches, hundreds of souls saved. Did you know that today Hyrule Ridge, the home of the Royal Lab, has zero Guardians? Did you know that the lands near it, Hebra and Tabantha, have the lowest Guardian sightings in all of Hyrule? Even less than the Gerudo Desert. And I cite this all based on my hours of research and facts laid out by BOTW, HW AOC, and the divine work by Mr. Nin-ten-do

But even beyond that, how do I know, in absolute 600% certainty that the Sheikah were in complete control of this destruction? How am I so sure that the Sheikah that day had fully planned the intentional obliviation of their lab?

It’s because...I lied earlier.

There is actually one relic that survived. One little monument of the Royal Ancient Lab Ruins. One object giving physical proof of this theory.

One artifact that would have been impossible to preserve if the Sheikah hadn’t planned it all. I mentioned it briefly before, if you paid attention. Yes! This object is present in both the Royal Lab, and a tech lab of today. You could see it for yourself, if you pay a visit to my dad’s friend’s cousin’s neighbor’s grandma’s dog’s breeder’s Sheikah researcher pal...

“Dr. Robbie’s telescope.” Atsuko pointed to the scattered trees in upper Lindor, “Some other scientists took it up there to preserve it. It’s the only reason we were able to see the initial Guardian corrupting in the distant castle, and how we were able to adapt to the situation and act so quickly.”

The captain glanced at the western mountain. “So you were running up there to meet with them?”

“The wilderness is pretty safe at the moment. And we’re hoping eventually we could take the telescope to another lab where we could possibly continue research. I mean just today from the combustion, Dr. Robbie had this idea for some fancy Sheikah dagger to kill Guardians.”

Silence.

“OK listen, that’s...that’s all I’ve got. You can head up there and confirm the story, or just kill me now, take your pick. Waiting for judgement here.”

More silence. The rain falls harder.

“...I’m—”

“You can call me Cian.” The captain does a little bow. “Captain Cian Kippers, at your leisure.”

Atsuko raises an eyebrow. “Like the color—?”

“Sp-Spelled differently! There’s an “i” in there, and perhaps it’s ironic to the situation, but I figured if we’re gonna be traveling up there together you should have the courtesy of knowing my name.”

She just sputters for a moment. “So...you—”

“I trust your heart—I like to think I’m good with character—and I believe you’re a good person doing your best in the world. As unfortunate as circumstances may have been.” He twirls his spear before fitting it on his back. Cian extends a hand to her which she takes. “People like that are getting rarer by the hour, so I don’t think I should be adding to the death count.”

“So…” she gets on her feet, cocking her head, “You...you believe me then?”

He chuckles. “Well, I didn’t kill you did I?”

Atsuko laughs quietly. “Your mistake…”

“...No.” Cian places a reassuring hand on her shoulder and smiles, as if to say that somehow everything was gonna be alright.

“My intention.”