#anygays how are yall

[that-bitttch]

SCREECHES INCOHERENTLY

[hyperfixation-hideout]

drew Little in Oscar's clothes!

Y'know.... cause Little Prince?

... That was the entire thought process behind this

[everythingwasnormalhere]

just been hangin out w my bf for the past 4 hrs and we've had too many bunny/style coded interactions 😭✨

[novastellavox]

Hey 👋

I just created a way to count from 1 to 12 on one hand!

Going from Thumb to pinky they're numbered 1 - 5. When a finger is extended, it is mentioned.. contracted fingers are not named in the form... For example: 👍 = 1☝️= 2✌️= 23 🤙 = 1 5 🤟 = 12 5 🖐️ = 12345

And the counting works in the following way:

1: 1

2: 12

3: 123

4: 1 4

5: 12 4

6: 1234

7: 1 5

8: 12 5

9: 123 5

10: 1 45

11: 12 45

12: 12345

In that sense 1, 2, and 3 count each as 1 Unit; 4 as 3 Units, and 5 as 6 Units.

You might notice that there are technically 2 ways to show some of these numbers.. one extended and one compact.

3 Units is either 123 or 4... 6 Units are either 1234 or 5... and 9 Units are either 123 5 or 45

Now.. I would say which one you use is based on context.

If you want to show a number at greater distances or count down, the extended version makes more sense. For example: 123 -> 12 -> 1 is better for 3 Units than 4 -> 12 -> 1... and same for the other special versions..

But if you want to display just that number over a short distance or count upwards, the compact version makes more sense to use.

Anyway.. When counting in Base12... I would say it's:

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, onetwel, twotwel, thirtwel, [...], ninetwel, tentwel, eletwel, twenty, [...], twentyten, twentyleven, thirty, [........], ninetyleven, tenty, [...] tentyleven, Eleventy, [...], Eleventyleven, One Hundred....

One Hundred being 144 in Base10.

[mackjlee9]

I'm so close to making this acc an only leon content acc not even kidding

[floofeh-purpi]

Through the Screen. (Pt. 2)

Self-aware! Obey Me x Gn! Insomniac! Reader

MAG EY KA MUNA EYYYY!!!! Also, off topic but I think it's now going to sound like a fanfic... 😭🙏

『Beloved fluffball/s mentioned below! 💜』

@rotin0 @cherry-blossom-sword80 @leniisreallycool @mc-cos-charm @imtotallynotthere @cosmo112 @cheeseburgercasserole @kanashi-aivy @dead-d0ves

Warnings: Cursing, spelling/grammar errors, it feels like I'm awake at 3am even though I started this shit at 8:13pm, you might be based by me in terms of some stuff going on w you (sorry), one mention of you being su*cidal, what the fuck im now half-asleep.

【Part 1】

• Ok, you sometimes voice call your friends in messenger (or whatever app you use to call them) for whatever reason.

• Lets say you might call them so that yall can play an online game that doesnt have voice chat.

• Fuckers they can hear you.

• As in the characters, they can hear you.

• Every foul word that comes out through your mouth? Yes.

• Those noises of you aggresively clicking your keyboard? Yes.

• The air conditioning doing its own thing? Yes.

• Hell, THE WAY THAT YOU BREATHE? YES.

• You dont know about that part yet

• So now that you know that they know how to make some changes to the game's code...

• Let's just say your initial reaction was legit: :0

• But realization risen upon you. Oh shit...

• If they'll break outta the game and into your phone, does that mean that they can see what you have on your phone, gallery, and the edits you saved on your phone thats crying for you to free some space in its storage. 😨

• Luckily, this new yet somewhat not-so new phone has the ability to hide away your apps, files, pictures, and videos into a hidden folder! :D

• You kept your more not child-friendly stuff into that folder in case your parents will check your phone.

• And I kid you not, what if they will somehow find a way to connect/join with your other devices too?! D:

• You decided to play Obey Me, since that's how you cope with the fact that quarterly tests are approaching your grades dangerously close.

• ...Tests be damned?

• Tests, be damned it is.

★ (this means timeskip)

• ...Maybe it was a bad idea.

• Because you're literally sweating bullets as you're looking at the first question written on the test paper.

Welp, I'm fucked.

• No shit, the very few questions that you know that you'll get right is your name and date.

• And not to mention that time pressure is a thorn to your mind right now.

Class, you have 30 minutes left!

• Sternly exclaimed the teacher, with students making stressed-out noises and sounding like they we're binge-watching anime last night. This was totally not targeted towards a certain someone in my school. Nope.

• You groaned along with the other students before you buried your face in the sweating palms of your hands and then moving them to your forehead to answer the next question. 29 out of 30 questions... you'd be finished right now if it was your favorite subject. But this test was easy. Way too easy...

• Hm...

• God damn it. You took your words back as soon as you saw the arch nemesis of your life.

• And... Is that x3+y3+z3=k?

...EAHHHGGHH—

• Why... You were so certain that not a single math teacher could've taught this yet.

• You we're so damn thankful that this was multiple choice. Omfg.

• Anygays-

Eeny meeny miny Moe...

(This divider means a longer timeskip.)

• Ok so, after all that suffering, you can finally get the hell out of this dumpster of a fucking school!

• You skip your way out of that shitty classroom, with the first thing– or rather person– to greet you was your non-fictional and only best friend! Yipee! :D

N/n!!! :D (N/n means Nickname)

• Exclaimed they, the person who has been with you through thick and thin.

We'll go to your house just like you promised, right?

• So bright, like the stars blanketing the night skies.

• Sometimes you wish you were like them.

• Cheerful, positive, an absolute sunshine up your face, not-so suicida—

Uhm... N/n?

• Oops. You spaced out again.

Yah, lesgo.

• After y'all went inside your... miserable excuse of a house (you know you havent cleaned this shit up for god knows how long.)

• Luckily, your parents (mainly your dad) was in an EXTRA good mood today, (they weren't present after they screamed profanities at you last night <3) so you had the house all to your yourself.

Don't worry, my parents aren't here today..

• You said, which eased the concern building up inside your best friend's mind after they remembered what you told them about your... 'normal' relationship with your parents.

C'monnn, let's study in the living room.

• You best friend whined before dragging your sleep deprived ass to your couch.

★

Wahhh! Are you sure this ain't corn syrup?

I think so. Yah. Wait I don't even buy that shit to shove it up the drawer's ass...-

• Ok uhmm.... What was supposed to be a study session turned into a cooking session.

• Bless Solomon for not being present in the kitchen. Yet.

• You were about add some extra spices to- what the fuck were you making again??? when your loud ass 6pm alarm rang.

Augh...

• You groaned. Your hands were oily as fuck and you needed to take your maintenance. Great timing up my fucking ass.

Yo B/f/n, pass me my pills. Please?

Yah su-

• You and your friend suddenly got a loud ass obey me notification on your phones. They at least still had the decency to pass you your pills even while they're still shocked at the kind of notification they got.

• I mean, no shit dipshit.

• Bitch how tyhe fuck did they know that you eat dinner at 9 in the fucking eveni-

• Oh..

• OH...

• You forgot they can practically stalk you through your phone and you haven't told your good ol' bestie about that now, did you...

• ...Oops. 🥰

If you think this is short, and its your first time stubling upon the dumpster collection of a blog thats also 95% full of reblogs, wait until you see that sagau series that i havent finished yet 😭🙏

Published: October 14 2024. 8:13pm.

[divachan]

Can I request Peridot x reader who loves astronomy and entomology? :3

AN :: OMG MY FIRST REQUEST IS FOR PERI AAAA! I love her so much she’s my twin <3 uh anygays I hope you like these headcanons I wrote :)

Pairing :: Peridot X astronomy and entomology nerd reader!!

⚠️Can be read as platonic but you call her your girlfriend once so uhhhh-

110% yall yap to eachother about astrology since you’re the only one who’ll understand what she’s talking about and vice versa

she’s a fellow astrology geek, only she actually grew up in space.😧

“..and that’s the difference between a space vacuum and a black hole!”

“Wow.” *aggressive note taking* 

pulls the “erm actually☝️🤓” whenever anything  you know is inaccurate. She loves to gloat abt how much she knows abt astronomy.

taking astronomy classes in school/college? Whatever grade you had before instantly becomes an A+. She helps you whenever you’re struggling with homework and tests. You left your classmates shook.

“How do you know all of this? Are you an alien??”

“no. My girlfriend is.🙂”

“oh-“

She’s a space nerd, but she don’t know jack shit abt entomology.😀

She’s high-key terrified of bees and wasps (she doesn’t like the buzzing sounds they make)

“Aww look at this cute little bee! See? There’s nothing to be scared of!”

…🐝🐝📳📳

“AAÆE-!!!😱”

She’s grown to be obsessed with moths and wants to know everything abt them. She thinks they look cute!

One of y’all’s love languages is gift giving, so when she saw that you won her a moth plushie at a carnival game for her, she freaked out.

y’all spend hours watching insect documentaries on her iPad together in a pillow fort yall made in the barn

god damn iPad kid💀💀

AN :: omg that was so fun to write bro I can’t wait to take more request!! Btw if anyone’s curious abt the moth plushie, this is the one y/n gave her.💚

Isn’t he cute? 💚💚

[hereticdrws]

Aquarium date w mizu

A/n: did I just narrate my visit at the aquarium and add mizu? Possibly did I use quotes from me and my sister? Also maybe anygays I hope yall enjoy ☺️🤞 should I write a real fic w this? I alr got 1 in the works cough cough baseball mizu

Warnings: NOT PROOF READ idk I don't think there r any but lemme know if there r

Loser!Mizu x (masc?) Reader I tried to make it v neutral but I kinda self projected

Enjoy 😉

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

◇Def spends wayyyy to long on parking trying to find the perfect spot no matter how many times she's been

◇Tells you the scientific names of all the fish on the banners on the way in that are used to attract visitors

◇Tells you every fish related joke she knows while waiting in line to get in

◇Cannot stand up straight in the line to save her life she has to lean (but I mean who tf doesn't why tf would I stand up str8 when I can lean)

◇Tries to convince u to let her bring a fish home (you're not even allowed to)

◇Took 1000 pics of the baby penguins

◇(Also asked to take one home)

◇Does not shut up abt the smell

◇Says every cute thing in the exhibit looks like you

Ex:

After walking past the toucan exhibit we make our way toward the baby monkeys per mizus request, walking hand in hand and shoulder to well head because lord knows mizu is tall as shit.

Once we arrive at the monkey exhibit for the first time since arriving mizu releases her hand from yours

"Omg babe it looks just like you!" She eagerly points out

"It does??" You raise an eyebrow at the 5'7 woman towering you, questioning her ecstatic expression

"Yeah!!"

◇Tried to provoke the toucan

"OMG Y/N ITS THE BIRD FROM THE MEME" spends at least 15 minutes trying to find the meme

◇Made you carry her hoodie bc it was so humid

"Babe I told you not to bring it 🙄"

"I thought it'd be cold ☹️"

"Why are there only birds I hate birds"

"Because we're in the bird exhibit babe 😐"

"oh"

◇Pouts when she can't find the animal in the exhibit

"Babe did you know poison dart frogs are poisonous?"

Dies

"Babe stop ☹️"

◇Stuck her hand in the water 'bcuz she can'

"I bet I could survive that jump"

"No tf you wouldnt?"

◇You had to pay for the slushies bc she forgot her wallet (which she definitely owns) ((she doesn't own a wallet))

"BABE THERES FUCKING CROCODILES"

"Dude there's a kid right nxt 2 u"

"Babe wtf"

"What"

"Your mouth looks like a traffic cone"

☹️

◇Constantly asked what would happen if she threw smthing at an animal

Ex:

"What I'd I threw my slushie at the crocodile"

"I'll disown you"

◇Looks in disgust at all the babies and children

◇I cannot express how much she'd compare you to ever cute animal in the exhibit

◇Leans into u when she gets bored like srsly u are supporting this woman's entire body weight

◇Do not forget how CLINGY she is (totally not self projecting) she would not let go of your hand, not to mention she is constantly pressed to your side esp when walking she is js leaning into you (same 😔) she cannot walk in a straight line for the life of her

◇Mizu is either the most shameful person you've ever met or the most shameless

No inbetween

◇The facts omg So. Many. Facts it's acc insane

"Did you know the 'type of animal' is acc a direct descendant of-"

◇Has a donkey Kong lanyard u drag her around by so she doesn't wander off

"Omg that's literally us in another universe"

(Pic credits go to yours truly 😌)

"Omg yn that's a stone fish the one from the meme 😁🫵"

"What meme?"

😨 (she only scrolls on YouTube shorts or insta reels) ((idk why she's shocked))

◇Constantly pointing out how ugly a fish is

"If it were human it could NEVER pull you"

"???"

◇Spent at least an hour in the shark exhibit telling you the scientific names of all the diff species of them and where they originated from

◇Millions of pics of them everytime a shark swam by at least 25 pics would be taken

◇Everytime you tell her to pise for a pic with one of the exhibits she either puts up a thumbs up with the dumbest smile you've ever seen or accidently flips you off then rushes over to you drowning your face in kisses and apologizing over n over

◇Sitting/leaning every chance she gets (and pulling u down w her every chance she gets) ((she is so clingy I can't express it enough))

"When do we get to go to the gift shop?" ◇She asked every 2 seconds if she's not telling you the most outrageous 'facts' she learned from who tf knows where

"That bird is big as shit 😐"

◇Tries to stand like a flamingo falls not even 2 seconds later claiming you pushed her

◇Literally RAN for the shark plushies once yall got to the gift shop

◇Could not decide which one to get so u js bought her all of them bc ur so sweet/you couldn't decide which one to get so she bought you all of them (whichever u want)

◇Got lost in the parking lot trying to find yalls car

◇Yall stopped at chic fil a on your way home

◇Once yall got home you both changed into comfy clothes and layed down and cuddled ofc yall cuddled with mizus ridiculous amount of new shark plushies

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

A/n pt2: thank you for reading I hope yall like this ☺️

[pastel-peach-writes]

Caitlyn + Vi x Reader who’s wayy shorter than them or wayy taller than them and how’d they’d act

EEEEE. HEIGHT DIFFERENCES >>>>> IDK BOUT YALL BUT IM SHORTER THAN CAITVI AND ITS SO ... MY GOD. YALL BE DOING GOD'S WORK W THOSE SPICY FFs FR.

"Daw, But You're So Cute!" | CaitVi x Reader

╰┈➤ PLOT: how CaitVi would react when you're taller or shorter than them!

╰┈➤ WARNINGS: Lower Case Intened, Cursing, Slight Short Jokes, Not Proofread, No Use Of Y/n

⍣ ೋ Enjoy!⍣ ೋ

TALLER

---

– one, if you're taller than both of them... HOLY COW????

– YOU'RE SO TALL! literally i would waste all my money on you but you're not here for me. ANYGAYS

– with caitlyn, it was lowkey love at first height.

– someone she has to look up to? wow.

– she was used to people looking up and her and her having to look down at them...

– honestly, she's gotten used to looking down at everyone. she's gotten so accustomed to it, when she realized she had to look up at you, her heart was pounding.

– and then she found out you like girls? DING DING DING. we have a winner!

– because you're on the taller side, like her, she'll recommend you places and brands that have inclusive lines for taller people.

– she'll even reccomend her favorite tailors and tricks she has.

– also, no questions asked, she's sending you a custom bed.

– hers was custom-made because she's on the taller side and she knows how expensive longer mattresses can be. well, she can assume.

– so she gets you one!

– if you're also the type of person who likes to wear cutesy stuff but can never because it doesn't fit your torso right or your legs, caitlyn to the literal rescue.

– like i said, she'll tell you all the stores and will get tailors for you. she'll create a whole clothing line for you if she has to.

– as for vi, it's 50/50.

– she's on the taller side of women, but christ if you're taller than her... geez!! (in a good way.)

– she'll like to tease you two, saying she has a type: taller humans.

– vi will also put her face in your chest when you cuddle. even if you have none, her face is in your chest.

– she won't make "how's the weather" up there jokes, but she will slap your ass when the opportunity is presented. why wouldn't she?

– "it's right there! what am i supposed to do? see it and not hit it? no way!"

– when it comes to the three of you together, you all make amends for each other.

– you want to sit on a lap? sure! who's? no, you're not too tall.

– you wanna be the little spoon? okay! get in the middle.

– height literally doesn't change a single thing for you three...

– well, you and caitlyn like to play pranks on vi by putting stuff on the top shelves.

– it makes the two of you laugh and giggle to see her climb up onto the counter or having to use a step ladder to get what she needs.

– she will never ask for help or get a helping tool in front of you two either so if you're watching her, she'll suffer in silence.

– she'll pout on the couch too after not getting what she wanted.

– eventually, you and caitlyn give in and give her the item she wanted and it's like she was never even pouting!

– if you three are out and about and some jerk tries to tease you about your height, vi and caitlyn are the first to defend.

– they'll call the person names (vi) and say that they're jealous they don't have the height they desire. (vi) and say how rude it is to comment on someone's height like that (cait) and that it's not something you can control (cait)

– all and all, they love their partner the way you were created and they wouldn't change that for the world

---

SHORTER

– as for first-sight shit, vi is ELATED to find a partner shorter than her.

– homegirl isn't short, but she sure as hell isn't taller than caitlyn.

– she doesn't mind being shorter at all, but damn, how she loves pinning someone to the wall and blocking them in with her whole entire body because she's taller than them.

– 100+ ego!

– she will not stop flirting with you, purposely making you look up at her and asserting her dominance

– and oh baby. if being short doesn't stop you from channeling your inner cockiness, vi has a treat coming.

– you'll let her pin you, force you to look at her, etc

– but the moment you flirt back?

– oh? what's this? a flustered vi? oh no! what should we do?

– caitlyn gets an absolute kick out of it but that doesn't mean she's safe either.

– you will flirt with her all you want.

– okay, so, if you read the taller section, you saw that the reader and caitlyn often put stuff on the top shelves to see vi struggle or to get her to ask for help... well.. caitvi does the exact same shit to you as the shorter partner.

– those tall pieces of shit put stuff up at the very top (its so high caitlyn can't reach without a boost) just to see you struggle and ask for help.

– caitvi won't tease you mockily for your height, but vi has someone in the relationship who's smaller than her... she will be teasing, just a bit, for fun.

– she might call you shortstack, but if it gets too far, caitlyn will call her shortstack in return just to see her face turn red.

– "that's not my nickname, that's theirs!" "well, you're both shorter than me, vi, so you're a shortstack too."

– vi absolutely HATES that shit so she won't make short jokes anymore after that.

– like in the first section, they'll buy you clothes or special items to use to help you out in life.

– like, modern au, they'll get you those seats to boost you up when you're driving, or they'll find outfits in the petite section of the store.

– if you're not that much shorter than them, they'll still buy you all that shit. tall or short, you are getting pampered baby!!

– speaking of which, they do not CARE if you're short and wanna be the big spoon. they'll be happy to adjust and move around.

– one thing that will concern them is them sitting on your lap. they don't want to crush you, but that's what they'll think no matter your height.

– if a JERK asks you how's the weather like down there and asks if you're even allowed to be outside without your mOmmY, vi is kicking ass and caitlyn is sending daggers.

– vi will try to throw punches but you or caitlyn usually pull her away before there's any contact.

– caitlyn will scold them and would say their heart is smaller than you

– then when you walk away, caitlyn apologizes profusely for that line but it was the only thing she could think of in the moment.

– like the first section, caitvi loves you the way you are and they won't trade anything for the world.

WC: 1,118

[sturniologirly]

yall i don't think u know how much i miss madi like bro😭 she was so sweet and i miss herrrr ik the triplets are still like bsfs with her, but the whole thing makes me so emotional😭😭

anygays love and miss her sm<3

[just-call-mefr1es]

using my big brain skills, i will now use my band-o-meter to guess what instrument the basement boys™️ +others would play💥 i am totally a professional, expert at vibes n shit😎 each word i say is canon /j

Griffin

ngl, i can see him in the clarinets section. definitely a woodwind, no arguments on that. hes a lil squeaky (WHEN PLAYING YALL) but pretty good overall. probs sits at the end of the row. memorized all of the fingerings and can switch between them pretty well. THE BEST at fast paced pieces, will spontaneously combust during slow ones (honestly same)

Billy

i feel like he would play tuba or euphonium, leaning more on euphonium. at first, i thought he seemed more like an art kid, but now that i have the mental image of him playing euphonium, i change my mind. hes pretty good, part of an endangered species though. 💯💯 has complained about his instrument being too heavy, but enjoys just resting against ghe case whenever he brings it around.

Vance

Percussion. I don’t need to elaborate.

Bruce

first of all, definitely in the woodwinds (again lmao). i was thinking either a bass clarinet, oboe or a saxophone? if saxophone, definitely an alto. although, i am thinking more oboe/bass clarinet….. yk, knowing bruce, he probably plays all of em, or maybe im just lazy. we’ll go with alto sax. vance has totally made a ‘saxy’ joke about it (projecting cause my wife does that with himself)

Robin

I think he’d be a trumpet. yeah, he would. he loves that thing. he probably has blasted it on accident though so r.i.p woodwinds in the row infront💔 he probably thinks that he can hit high notes easily, so he tries to on the first try and fucking dies. hit or miss with fast pieces, he likes them but also hates them. has asked finney how to subdivide because he zoned out

Finney

same issue with bruce, but with clarinet and saxophlne (no hobo). then i thought about it and went, ‘yeah, he’d be an oboe’. at first, i was thinking of making bruce play the oboe and finney the sax, butttt i like this better ngl. part of an endangered species, only two other hobo players with finn🙏 god at sightreading

Gwen

looking back im realizing how indecisive i am lmaoo. so our two options were clarinet n trumpet. took me a lot of back and forthing until i thought, ‘hell yeah she’d be a clarinet’ so here we are. carries the clarinets, and is probably louder than most trumpets. she’s 50/50 on sight reading. she could be awesome at it or terrible, depending the piece. complains about eighth notes.

Amy

let me project for a second and just- ‼️‼️flute‼️‼️ damn i love me flutie patooties. anygays, she has more luck hitting high notes than robin (rip) but flutes are built like that, but she can hit them without trying. she shifts 294749103 times in her seat because flute can get uncomfortable (projecting some more). sits next to gwen and they compare what each of their pieces are constructed 💗 (i do that with my friends too lmao)

[tempest-talks]

holy shit, look i’m not dead…yet…anygay i thought we’d love more

irl quotes

y’all know the drill (if you don’t, sucks to be you ig) C is @some-horse-gurl Titi is @jarondont and El Jay is @nyx-of-darkness-1620 everyone else doesn’t have tumblr and it’s very sad

C: “ripoff wetlands���

Me: “why are you beating the dirt?”

El Jay: “emo with a razor scooter”

Me: *depressed mother sigh*

Me: “the computer supports you” El Jay: “that’s more support than i’ve ever gotten!”

C: “YOU ARE STRESSING ME OUT YA DUMB-” C: *muffled cursing*

this is funnier because one of her teachers was talking about how school is stressful

lil miss muffin: “it’s danish” C: “you’re danish” lil miss muffin: “yes”

El Jay: “translate please” Me: *deep breath* Me: “math.” El Jay: “ew”

Titi: “thank you for being my mouth”

Me: “all organic gays”

C: “what is wrong with you?” Me: “you want a chronological or alphabetical list?” slayer of dance: “well i can’t count or spell”

C: “just because i’m basic as fuck doesn’t mean i’m messing up biodiversity”

she said it, not me 🤷🏾

video: “…and when it didn’t go away…” Me: *scrambles* Me: *dies* Me: “your anxiety goES AWAY?!?!”

Me: “wow you’re being a good student and doing your work” Me: “unlike me” C: “you’re making me feel worse”

my girl is confusing

Me: *suspicious dice rolling*

C: “there is a serial killer breeze”

C: “i’m sure the sidewalk’s really depressed”

Me: “they’re weeds” C: “be nice to the weeds” Me: “they’re weeds”

i have more but i got bored, lmk if yall want more

[bedoballoons]

Bedo you fucker- you mAdE mE oUt Of AlL pEoPlE wOrRiEd..

I swear Dont . You . Dare . Do . That without informing your gonna go on a short break

Anygays i missed you~~ im gonna ramble everything so you can giggle like a little girl who just got her furst crush.. i swear if you giggled one bit while answering this.. i achieved my goal for todayy!!

Anygays you slick fucker- im high on water so dont mind me dropping curse words here and there after i got my phone back from it being in my grandmother's hand since yesterday morning for not Going to school

Im ready to throw hands if bedo gets bullied or hate- even yall right anonnies?

-love 🧕🍌(hana who didnt see proper daylight and stays inside)

Hehehe I did in fact giggle, this whole ask is literally such a whirlwind! First off, I will let everyone know if I need a break again and I won't just disappear.

Second off, I missed you too Hana!! Sounds like you're living the life, high on water 😭 Also how. Dare. You. Not go to school the heck! Better have a good reason!!

Third off, ANYGAYS PLS THATS SO FUNNY

[wqxianvents]

// CONTAINS COMMENTARY AND PICTURES OF TEARS OF THEMIS NEW EVENT: “ENDURING LIGHT.”

This is only the Prologue section I talk about in this one, aha and I ALRWDY HAVE SM TO TALK ABTR

first of all, another group event of course, you love to see it and they’re being dorks but in a cooler way already 💃 also btw happy new year!! hope it’s been treating y’all well already :]<3

okay so i’m going into this event basically being sus of everyone at this point LMAO, i don’t even trust our boys tbh - anything could happen and i’m excited! everytime there’s a big event i always am like “ugh… not another one i have to drain energy into and it isn’t even that interesting” (respectfully). like the last one on the train? i didn’t really care much about it, the only things that interested me were nxx being all up on eachother (exaggerating)

basically i prepare myself to be disappointed, which might sound messed up but tbh the events have only been hittin recently (for me) because of the fact that they’re not having nxx be at eachother’s throats lol. (not saying the past ones weren’t good though and that none of the recent ones were a miss bc again, i didnt fully enjoy the train event)

this one already had me though 😭 got me gagged, the ui is so fucking cool - the card system?? the OUTFITS make me wanna CHOMP my phone (esp luke’s… smth- smth abt it is just. hm, delectable). also baby davis always appearing is so cute his little “hello, miss… uh, i mean, little boss!” LMAO that is my son!!!

ANYGAYS we always have to start off with Marius talking about something going on ‘round town, intended to invite his lovely lady but of course the boys have to interrupt and say hey, where is our invitation??? 🤗 you love to see it

jxjddh “i didn’t ask you guys” LMFAO HE IS SO DONEEE - artem, vyn: “oh really? let me hit you with this comeback. give me my invitation.”, like why are they so angy ARENT YALL RICH? GET YOUR OWN INVITATION 😭😭 i just adore the difference here though like, luke is the one purely excited here and not just “oh, aha, trying to get alone with rosa? how about: no.” but vyn is like 😭 “okay, shit, thanks for the invitation, marius.”

ARTEM MINDING HIS OWN BUSINESS BY HIS COMPUTER AND DECIDING TO INSERT HIMSELF INTO THE CONVERSATIONNN. they’re silly billies.

of course we needed our typical marluke banner 🥺

“Without us, who would you team up with?” did he just call marius friendless or can i also mix that with delulu poly nxx and add a hint of, “bitch who else are you planning to invite? we are RIGHT here” LMFAO

“Luke, are things at work slow lately?” 😭😭😭 i have tears in my eyes u were gonna invite him anyway shut up

i want a group event where the guys don’t butt in just to see if marius invites them anyway HAAHSJS like he just has the stuff ready for the boys just in case they butt in again, but one time they don’t and he’s just confused 😭

kicking my feet, he loves them all dearly. they’re my babies, my lil ol family!!

ANYWAYS… we’re here. Li Hotel 🤨 && again, the wayyy i was entranced with everything omg obsessed obsessed. BY THE WAY i already suspect that the letter-friend is reporter pearce 🤨🤨 don’t ask me for proper reasoning besides the fact that they reveal the letter-friend is a guy LMAO

&& shares the same life goal (wanting to travel around the world) as little boss 😔💜 but who knows…

alright last two things ✨ nxx boys lowkey teasing rosa by being in character HAHAHDJ (NOT ME POSTING THE WEONG PICTURE AND MAKING MYSELF SAD)

same, rosa, same 😭 (and the invitation card?? zoo wee mama- the way that marius was the only one who kept his eyes on rosa thoughhj hejeejnffk GRRR. okay sorry. NAUR and the luke stare 😔 marluke strikes my heart once again!!! WHY IS VYN ALL THE WAY UP THERE BTW)

anyways. last but not least, this isn’t technically apart of the prologue but it’s when Davis takes you on a little tour as always to show you the event and there is one part where you can have discussions with the boys. you click on luke by default but the first conversation option you have, he talks about this:

&& this actually made me tear up pretty bad 😭 then i had a whiplash and went “OHH THE FUCKING CARD” LMFAOO,, LIKE WHY WOULD HYV DO THIS TO ME 😞 i love the parallels luke always has with his au cards though ugh, makes me depressed in the right way(??)

like his birthday card (the name is itching my brain, i can’t remember) and in his bday event there was a mirror and sword (i believe) that appeared 😔 now this… sobbing throwing up, do NOT TOUCH ME

ARE YOU TELLING ME HE ACTUALLY DIES IN THE CARD STOOFPFPFDB??? THAT HE DOESN’T SAY HE LOVES HER? WHAT IS THIS. punching the floor. DO THEY ALL DIE? I THOUGHT ARTEM AT LEAST LIVES…. AM I MIXING UP CARDS…. see what this event is doing to me already 😔

ojay. i’m done here, had to write the thoughts out brrr, imma go finish reading the event now 🌚 toodles (unless u can read the vyn spoiler below)

HUGE CARD SPOILERS BELOW: VYN [MEDIEVAL SUSPENSE]

OHHbajdhd and adding on why I’m not trusting anyone - even our boys - in this event is because this event reminds me too much of a card that Vyn has. A group of folks in this card are acting and Vyn’s character ended up being the killer. I won’t leave my thoughts on the card but this is why I’m sus of everyone 😔

[floofeh-purpi]

Getting Isekai'd?! (Part 4)

Sagau! Genshin Fatui x Gn! Reader (ft. Your bsf)

『Beloved fluffball/s mentioned below! 💜』

@justmare @mc-cos-charm

YEY NEW FLUFFBALL, HIII!!!

☆

Sidenote: CUS ITS BEEN RAINING IN MAINLA HINDI KABA NILALAMIG?! (Song reference lol) 😫

Warnings: Cursing, grammatical/spelling errors, my delulu-ahh brain forgot to write english isnt my first language and im too lazy to edit the other warnings again, me probably switching the povs alot because... yeah, filipino reader maybe speaking tagalog and bisaya, mentions of you having a wound on one of your feet, blood, author's shitty attempts at making you laugh.

【Part 3】

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆

You eventually woke up from your nap coma with a sore ass throat and a somehow still fully batteried phone. "Ok, how the fuck is my phone still 100%?! 😰 But atleast I dont have to wait 2 hours to charge my phone lmao." You mused out inside your head cus you'd say it out loud ur throat would even more sore than it already fucking is.

"I should've bought a water bottle with me earlier... ☹" You thought as you putted your phone inside one of the pockets of your pajamas and slowly went downstairs and went to the kitchen.

You sneaked into the kitchen undetected by guests. Because all you wanted to do right now was sleep again rest. Anygays, you gobbled the entire glass of water within one go and putted the glass into the sink. "Nah, y/b/f/n's gonna wash them dishes today lmao." You thought before you plugged your earphones into your phone and listened to your playlist while humming softly to the song before going upstairs.

☆

The harbingers heard someone humming in where they assumed is the kitchen before someone passed by the living room still humming and with a tiny-ahh smile going upstairs. "Oh my~ Who was that beautiful person~?" Asked the Damselette. Its true though, you were the prettiest person y/b/f/n met. "That was Y/n. :)" The harbingers and the Tsaritsa's eyes widened at that name. But are still in denial because they need to confirm just one more thing. Denial, denial, denial IS a river in Eygpt 💀🙌

☆

You eeked mentally when your playlist started playing 'Good Looking by Suki Waterhouse' (Recommend listening to it 10000/10) since you dont have spotify premium and you ran out of skips. 😔

You sat down on the chair infront of your desk, which was messier than dogshit. "Omfg im too lazy to clean it up rn 😭🙌" you thought before you grabbed some paper that you totally didnt rip out from y/b/f/n's notebook like 2 days ago before yall were isekai'd and started drawing basically a city. Aka the city you lived in before this fiasco happened.

*Insert your drawing here cus I cant find anything that was close to my imagination 🥲*

After you finished drawing, you gave your arms a very well needed stretch you desperately needed that shit after sitting down with a posture looking like a fucking shrimp if you looked at what you looked like in the side for 3 fucking hours while your earphones were still playing music, "Finally done, im tired again lmao" you thought before you slept on your chair like when its math class 💔 because you were too fucking sleepy to even get out of your chair its comfier that those damned armchairs you'd sleep on during math class. 💀

But then, your foot accidentally hitted the leg of the table so fucking hard, that it caused the sleepiness in you to go *poof* "PUTANG INA NING LAMESA 👹" (Fuck this table) you yelled loud enough for only yourself to hear you held back your tendency to scream out filipino curses loud enough for the entire damn universe to hear you because... well, the people downstairs... Are downstairs...—

You felt your atoms and dna coursing inside you still shaking at the collision of your foot and the table, whats even worse is that the foot was the one that was wounded, which made the pain all the fucking worse.

"Bandages be damned. I need to fucking change these little shits. Bweshet nih. 😔" You cursed out loud as your throat wasnt as sore as earlier we call it mineral water for a reason /jk, you made your way into your bathroom while not walking normally.

♤

You were just drinking some water in kitchen peacefully, and of course your clumsy ass hand somewhat slipped and you accidentally dropped it onto the floor... and your foot. You winced at shards of bloodied glass digging into the flesh of your foot as sat on the nearest chair while y/b/f/n tended to your wound/s OHMIGASH KILIG NAKO AYIEEEEEEE!!!!!

♤ (End of flashback)

You got some bandages which were fortunately on the sink from the last time you changed your bandages and forgetting to put it back to its original place AGAIN, but you didnt give a shit rn. But as soon as you unwrapped your bandages, instead of the crimson blood you were expecting to see on your wound, the blood was... golden.

"...What the fuck?"

☆

YEY FINISHED PART 4!!! My hands are tired from holding the phone but its ok ❤

Filipino readers where u at? 😭

【Part 5】

Published: June 30 2024. 10:38pm.

[eunchancorner]

yessss please, I would like to know more

Have I ever told yall it feels really good when y'all are hyped for something I wanna talk about?

Anygay

November 13th, 2:34 P.M.

Jack and John looked Bob over thoughtfully as they sat on the other side of the interrogation table. He seemed so… different like this. And no, it wasn’t the thin orange jumpsuit, nor the massive cuffs needed for his wrists. It wasn’t the change of scenery, the drab grays and loneliness sharply contrasting the bright, public environments he usually staged his massacres in.

It was his calm, downcast, almost sad expression. The complete opposite of his sinister smile and gaze that stares into your soul. The way he slouched in his chair. His former sadistic air had just about dissipated and he looked like little more than a pathetic old man. He was almost a different man.

“So…” John started with a sigh, sitting forward in his chair. “You’re a cannibal?”

Bob’s gaze flicked up for a moment, before settling back on the table in front of him, humming out a quiet agreement.

“And how many of your victims have you actually… eaten?” he pressed, keeping an eye on the biggest’s every movement, studying his body language.

Bob seemed to think for a moment, counting on his hand before looking up at them again.

“I believe a bit of each… so, technically, all of them…” he finally said, his gaze lowering once again as he spoke.

“And how did this whole cannibalism thing begin, Mr. Velseb?” Jack asked.

The oldest heaved a deep sigh, emotion beginning to show deep in his eyes.

“That’s an… old tale, officers. One that I’m sure would be too borin for ya…” he said carefully, his expression just barely displaying distress.

“I’m sure a tale that ends with you as a man-eating serial killer is far from boring,” John reasoned.

“Hm… I suppose you have a point, but it’s a tale I’m not too… fond of, let’s say.”

“And why is that?” Jack questioned.

“Have you… ever been betrayed, officers? Either of ya?”

“Not yet, no,” the other ravenette answered, his partner grunting in agreement.

“Hm. ‘Yet.’ Bein realistic, I see… how else can I put this, then?” he seemed deep in thought for a few minutes before he continued.

“Have you ever done somethin you regret, but knew, in that moment, that you had to?”

“Well, yeah, of course,” Jack answered again.

“As officers, we usually have to make that decision on the field,” John affirmed, silently hoping that being a bit more open with Bob would encourage the same.

“Well… my story starts with a decision like that… or, well, the crimes did…”

He took a deep breath, finally locking eyes with the two.

“My story begins with me… and a friend. My closest friend, and maybe most loyal customer, a man named Corey, twelve long years ago. He and he were inseparable. Game nights, huntin, watchin football, every cliche thing two men could do, we were doin. And we loved it.

“He’d come by Boys ‘N Grills damn near every day at lunch, and we’d chat about whatever came to mind. Somethin new that caught our eyes, different grillin techniques, an idea about what to do after work, everythin.

“In fact, one day, Corey suggested we’d go hikin. He insisted it’d be a fun little adventure, and dammit, he looked so excited, how could I say no? Heh, it was endearin, almost cute as one of y’all might put it.

“We packed our things, and, around October 15th-ish, I believe, we set out in the woods. I remember it was right smack-dab in the middle of Spooky Month, and he was so excited for our ‘Spooky hike’, as he put it. And, I’ll admit, I was excited, too. It was nice gettin to go out and do somethin new with him.

“But, despite everythin we packed, our first mistake was leavin behind our compass. When me and him realized this, Corey assured me that we didn’t need it, that if we kept track of how many turns we made, we’d be alright. But that was our second mistake, trustin either of us to remember anythin while occupied with all the sights. After a while, all the trees started to look the same, and when I finally got scared of losin our way, it was too late. Corey kept insistin that we weren’t lost and could get back home easy, but I wasn’t sure… he should’ve listened to me…”

Bob trailed off, clutching his bandaged right hand. The searing pain from the bullet wound, when his hand had been shot to disarm him, felt like a little bug bite in comparison to the pain growing in what used to be a hollow chest. He wanted to focus more on the wounds outside than inside. He didn’t want to tell this story. But he had to, he knew he did.

“Hours turned to days… days turned to weeks… weeks turned to half a damn month we were out there. We were growin desperate after runnin out of food within the first few damned days… We couldn’t tell poisonous berries apart from safe and didn’t dare run the risk. We hadn’t brought any guns or fishin rods, and no matter how hard we tried, spearfishin always ended with us empty handed. We were lucky we didn’t see any bears or wolves out there, or I don’t think I’d’ve survived, either…”

“Are you saying that Corey died in the woods?” Jack interjected.

“If you’d let me finish, you’d’ve found that out… but yes… one day, Halloween, I think it was, somethin… happened to him. He couldn’t take it anymore. And, with the only weapon we had, a single damn pocket knife, he attacked me… caught me off-guard and cut me up real bad. The whole time I tried to fight him off, tryin to get him to snap out of it, tellin him we’d be ok, that someone would find us. Tryin to have the positivity that he’d had at the beginnin, but he wasn’t havin none of it. He kept talkin about how out there, there was no friendship. There was no partnership. There was no ‘us’…” his gaze turned to the mirror at the side of the room, “Just me, him, and hunger, and that one of us had to go, so the other could go on. I just wanted to get him off of me… I just wanted to stay alive, I…” he began to choke on his words, feeling tears trying to push past his defenses. He couldn’t cry, not here, not now. Not with two officers staring him down, probably more behind the walls. But at the same time, telling his story was hard, and it made breaking down so easy, the very last things that he wanted to do, he had to do in this confession. He took a deep breath to try to compose himself and force the tears back, trying not to hear the whispers in his mind, what the police could possibly be saying about him, and press on with his story.

“When we were fightin, I… I threw him against a tree. I didn’t think it was that hard, but… I was wrong… he wasn’t movin… he wasn’t respondin… he wasn’t even breathin… I wanted him to be paralyzed, I really did, because even that was better than the truth… but… I knew what I’d done to him… I’d broken his back, and I’d killed him… I don’t remember how long I cried, just that we’d fought around noon, and when my eyes finally cleared, it was dark. I’d killed my best  friend, officers… And… I was so hungry… I know I should have just tried to look for something else, but at that moment… I… I don’t think I cared anymore…”

“Don’t say it…” Jack mumbled quietly.

“I ate him… I ate Corey… I felt like some kind of savage animal… it was the most bitter thing I’ve ever eaten… it tasted like pennies and raw pork and was every bit as bitter as straight, black coffee… And that’s not even the worst part…” he trailed off, losing his battle against his own tears despite how hard he tried to stay composed.

Seeing him in distress like this, even if he was a wanted criminal, it almost made the two officers feel bad for him.

“What was the worst part, then?” John prompted him to keep telling his story.

“The worst part… was that they found us the next day… or, I guess… they found me the next day… Corey was nothin more than a broken, dismembered corpse… and I’d buried him, so, they never found the body… My best friend, he deserved better than that… If I’d just held off one more day, if we’d held off just one more day I wouldn’t even be here right now!”

“That’s only one killing, what about the other several over the years?” Jack interjected, standing up.

“Officers… by now you must have noticed the pattern…”

“Yes, of course we have. One to three killings, every Halloween for the past eleven years, this year being the only exception besides the years you were in prison. We’d assumed it was to disguise it as a show.”

“That’s… not quite the truth. If you remember, I told you that me and Corey fought on Halloween… I ate him on Halloween night… well… somethin must have happened that night… or maybe there was somethin in his body but… Every Halloween, I get hungry… so, so uncontrollably hungry. I spend the day fightin it off, and the night… well, you can guess…”

“Hm… well, what changed this year? Like Jack said, this is the only year, besides your prison time, when you didn’t successfully kill someone. And we got to you pretty damn late, so what was keeping you from killing someone?” John asked, leaning forward in his chair as his partner sat back down. “Did it have something to do with this?”

The brunette produced a golden amulet tucked securely in an evidence bag. The amulet had a large, circular charm with a similarly round, baby-blue gem in the center, and two flowing, feather shaped decorations on the bottom. He set it down on the table and allowed the fugitive to examine it, although a single glance showed Bob knew exactly what it was.

“Where did you get that…?”

“One of our coworkers found it while we were going through your things, checking for evidence in case someone tried to plead a case for you. Interestingly enough, it looks just like the amulet worn by the assumed cultists running around, like this one,” Jack informed Bob, placing an image of a cultist on the table for proof.

“We’ll give you a moment to collect yourself, maybe some time to let it out,” John offered, noticing how the man was still having trouble from his near-breakdown earlier, “And then, maybe you can tell us what’s going on with you and the cult.”

A whisper near the door caught the attention of the two, whipping around to see the face of one of the aforementioned coworkers, none other than Shotty themself.

“Psst, guys, we got it,” they whispered, motioning to the two.

Jack nodded as he and John stood.

“Stay put and let it out, we’ll be right back. And don’t try anything,” he warned before the two headed out, meeting up with their colleagues.

“How much you get outta that guy?” Cap questioned, peering into the one-way window at Bob, who was finally crying, now that he was under the impression that he was alone.

“A lot, but it was all how he came to be a cannibal, and his urges. Did you two get what we asked?” John asked the two.

“Yep! And can I just add, this is a great thing you two are doing, especially you, Jack. I’ve never seen you give someone a second chance before,” Shotty said as they handed the stack of papers off.

“What are you talking about? I’ve given plenty of people a second chance!” Jack argued, a little offended.

“Name one.”

“Every cop in this town?”

“There’s four cops in this town, excluding you,” Cap pointed out, “And you never needed to give John a second chance because he’s basically our boss! Oh, also, not to divert or anything, but we figured the big guy would appreciate this stuff,” he handed the two a pack of tissues and a glass of water.

“Good, thanks. You two are being… really considerate towards a criminal. Something going on?” Jack asked, a bit suspicious of their behavior.

Shotty rolled their eyes a bit. “C’mon Jack, not everyone is as mean as you. I mean, yes, he has killed, like, a lot of people, but he still deserves tissues and water. Not to mention, from what we understand, he can’t actually help it, sooooo…”

“Fair. Now, we got one more job for you,” John finally spoke up again. “We need you to go talk to the mayor about our plan. He’ll listen to you more than he listens to us, for some god-forsaken reason, so if you talk to him about it, chances are he’ll listen.”

“You got it, boss,” Cap assured him.

“We’re on it! To Evermore’s houseeee!” Shotty cheered as they and Cap left.

“Hey, wait, don't go to his-! And they’re gone… oh those two are going to get fired one day…” the brunette grumbled.

Jack chuckled quietly, shifting the papers in his arms and looking into the one-way window at a now calming Bob.

“Looks like he’s stopping, should we head back in?”

“Mhm. Time to figure out what’s going on with that cult.”

The two stepped back into the interrogation room, Jack clutching the papers to his chest and holding the door as John carried over the tissues and water for Bob, sliding them over the table to the oldest. Wiping away his tears as the door slammed shut, the killer sighed heavily, having just let out twelve years of pent-up emotions in the span of a few minutes. He took a long sip of water as John continued from earlier.

“So, now that we’ve given you some time, what can you tell us about the cult?” the brunette got straight to the point.

“Nothin… I can’t tell ya nothin,” Velseb grumbled.

“And why is that?”

“I made a promise… and I always keep my promises. A good man always does, after all…”

“Barely a good man…” Jack grumbled, setting the paperwork in his lap.

“Well, I’m a man of my word, that’s for damn sure. And my word says I’ll keep quiet about that cult. All I can tell ya is they’re far more harmless than they seem.”

“Somehow, I have trouble believing that,” John argued. “But, is there anything we could do that could possibly convince you?”

“For that, officers, you’d have to do the impossible.”

“Which is?”

“Find out how to cure whatever the hell is wrong with me…”

The partners looked at each other before nodding, a knowing look in their eyes.

“Actually, Mr. Velseb, there might be a way,” Jack informed him, placing the stack of papers on the table, sliding them over to his fellow ravenette, who gave them a skeptical look.

“What’s this?”

“Paperwork. Paperwork to get you transferred from prison to a rehabilitation facility. This could be the key to your new life, Bob. With enough effort, we could help you completely get rid of your cannibalism… curse, in a sense. You’d never have to eat another person to satiate yourself again. In a few years time, you could be living a normal life, maybe even have a family,” John explained, gently pushing the papers more towards the unwilling cannibal.

“As nice as that’d be, officers… I’m afraid my reputation has been set in stone. No matter how many years of rehab I go through, I’ll always be Bob Velseb, feared and hated serial killer… no one will trust me to be in a store, no one will trust me to be alone. I’ll be monitored by everyone, no matter how many years go by. I’ll never have a normal life, nor a family. It’s too late to change that fact. However…” he began to think further about it, “your offer is temptin. Even if I can’t have a ‘normal life’, it would be nice to not have to deal with… whatever the hell happened to me. Do ya really think it’ll work…?”

“As long as you cooperate, then I think anything is possible, including helping you,” Jack reasoned, “but we need the information only you can give us.”

“You’re askin some pretty sensitive information… these people you’re investigatin, they’re not doin anythin wrong. I know they seem odd, maybe even creepy, but in all honesty, it’s more like a lil family thing. But that’s about all I can tell ya…”

“I know you can tell us a lot more, Mr. Velseb, and we can’t give you the papers until we have everything we need. It might seem a little unfair to you, but we can’t give you any sort of reward until we get what we asked for.”

Bob sighed a bit. He hated it, but understood. He’d either have to break his promise, or live out the rest of his life with an unbearable ‘curse’ in prison, most likely solitary confinement. Frankly, one option was far preferable to the other.

“Hm. Fine, I’ll tell ya what it seems like ya need to hear.”

The two cops glanced at each other before leaning forward a bit, signifying that they were listening.

“The cult isn’t quite what ya might be thinkin it is. The cult isn’t some high-and-mighty ‘our god is the only real god’, sacrificin, blood-thirsty, cliche cult from every doomsday movie. But, one thing’s for sure… that thing, whatever the hell it is… is real. I’ve looked into the depths of the hole it’s in, and I could almost feel it lookin back at me. They wanted me to meet it, but… they were kind when I refused. They seemed to understand, they let me in anyway. The leader, he told me that they didn’t like makin people uncomfortable. That they promoted comfort and happiness in the cult. As a matter of fact, they wanted me as a scout so they could help me overcome what I went through. I help them, they help me.

“They’re like a big family, the leader actin as a dad, in a way. Said somethin bout how he has a kid at home so it’s nothin new to him, I dunno. They meet every now and again, in that house on that hill. There’s a hole in the floor there that leads right to it. I’ve never seen it personally, but some of the members described it to me. Said it looks like a giant, pinkish, broccoli lookin thing, who’s head fades into darkness above, millions of baby-blue eyes formin the stars. A huge mouth that doesn’t even look like it’s connected with huge teeth that are on the outside, and long, kinda fluffy tentacles. They’ve told me what it’s like to look into it’s eyes, or, ‘the stars’, as they call it. They’ve said it makes ya almost numb, then their memories start blurrin together. I never get a straight answer of what happens after that, except that they ‘wake up’ feelin happy and calm, and that they’re already out of the hole when they come to. In fact, it can completely change someone’s attitude and everythin. I’m actually pretty close with someone who used to be bitter and spiteful, accordin to him, but after seein that thing, he was one of the calmest, kindest people I’d ever seen.

“Maybe that’s why I agreed to their deal… maybe I thought that thing could fix me. It seems like it changes people for the better. Bout everyone there either acted like that man, or was cheerful and sweet. I thought, if nothin else, it could make me happier. But, I got scared. I wussed out. I didn’t wanna see that thing, it sounded terrifyin. But, I guess in doin so, I kinda distanced myself from them, and the odd things that they liked…”

“What kind of things?” John asked, intrigued by his descriptions.

“Well, for the most part, affection. Especially ticklin. I don’t know why, but that seems like the thing everythin is centered around in that cult. I’ll run into people who can’t so much as say the word without lightin up in the face like a Christmas tree, or people who can say it so casually that they have full-blown conversations about it. I’ll walk past two or three tickle fights each meetin, ones that, half the time, end up bein very one-sided. Sometimes I’ll even let loose and join in. Though when that usually happens, I practically get dog piled and tickled until I can’t stop laughin for damn near an hour…” he chuckled a bit to himself, “It’s fun, though… I have to admit, they’ve got a damn good idea.”

“Tickling?” Jack asked in astonishment. Something so innocent from people who he’d thought just a few minutes ago were dangerous.

“Idea?” John echoed Bob’s words, more focused on the goal of this cult.

“Mhm. Spreadin happiness through a love of ticklin. It’s said that if you don’t already like it, seein the monster makes ya love it. I, personally, don’t mind it. But it’s not a strange, super-obsessive kinda love, it’s more like a sorta… what’s the word that he used…? Hyper… hyper… hyper-something-or-other… ah, hyperfixation, yeah. Basically, it’s almost always in the back of their minds, even when they don’t know it. Accordin to them, havin this shared love, bein able to confide in each other and be genuinely vulnerable with each other is actually really nice. And they wanna share this with the town. Simple as that.”

“That’s… really it? No hostile takeover bid? No ominous prophecy? No blood sacrifices?” Jack questioned, still in disbelief.

“Didn’t I tell ya at the start? No, none of that cliche doomsday shit. They just want to turn this small town into a happy family,” Bob reiterated, slightly annoyed.