#any other hyperfixation ive ever had in my life

[haveihitanerve]

#i love these dorks

[trancylovecraft]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ WANDERILLUSTREOUS!: PROLOGUE!

(YANDERE GENSHIN VARIOUS x READER)

[F/N] [L/N], A twenty-two year old college student goes about her mundane life. Most people would describe her as content, And maybe [F/N] would've described it as such too- Her life. Over and over again, Day after day, The cycle never stops. That is, However, Until she suddenly drops into Genshin Impact out of nowhere. In any other case, [F/N] might have been glad to be there. In a fantasy land where she had only ever visited in her dreams, With a feeling she couldn't describe flooding her entire being. However, [F/N] couldn't be further from excited.. She had never played Genshin in her life. [F/N] threw her head into her hands, Holding back the urge to scream. “I’m absolutely screwed, Aren’t I?”

*ੈ✩‧₊˚AO3 LINK *ೃ༄

GENDER: Femme LIST OF YANDERE'S: https://pastebin.com/ErsuA2cz SONG: Larger Than Life - Pinkzebra NOTE: SO UHM HI. THIS IS THE PROLOGUE TO UHM MY NEW FIC UHHHH- so ive been getting into genshin big time and uhm ive kinda got a new hyperfixation now so hERE IT IS IN WRITTEN FORM.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ MASTERLIST *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ NEXT PART

What the actual hell?

[F/N]'s breath hitched in the morning dawn.

Her body was heavy like a weight was pushing down on her chest, Her eyes hazy, Yet they sparkled like stars under the dawnlight. Beginning to trickle down her face at the chill that batted in her eyelashes.

What was this?

This feeling.

Dew trickled down her face, Fresh from last night's rain and glimmering in the breaking dawn.

She tried not to itch at the frigid trails, No matter how much they unsettled her skin. Tried not to move around in the mush of the mud, Because the way it was settled cushioned her back just right.

The wind blew throughout every blade of grass, Every sweet flower and dandelion around. Leaves rustled on their branches, Little robins hopping around and tweeting their tune. The smell of dew and saccharine was rife in the air.

She breathed it in, Her lungs flooding with life.

It was so blinding, The sun, Burning at her eyes yet she couldn't find it in herself to close them. Not when the sky was so beautiful, So wonderful. Shades of aurora pink and sunset yellow splotching across the great canvas above, Birds sailing across it, Their wings struck wide and free as they only grew to be dots in the distance.

How could [F/N] ever look away?

She breathed in, A fresh wave of air entering her body. That feeling no one could describe, That chill that coated her skin, Her body completely at peace. Eyes forever staring up at the open sky that welcomed her with open arms. 

Tranquillity, Serenity, Exaltation. None of them were a good fit to the way [F/N] felt in that single moment.

Her mind fluttered for a second, Flickering on like the ember on a lighter.

Her eyes widened, Memories rushing back into her mind.

"Wait.. Where am I?!"

⭒❅✸✪✸❅⭒

Well.. This is bizarre.

"There's absolutely no way.. This can't be real.." [F/N] muttered in utter horror. Her eyes wide, Body rigid as she stared dead at the figure standin- No. Not standing, The correct term would be floating.

What looked to be a small little girl floated mid-air, Only a few feet away. Her eyes big and round, Shaded the colour of the night sky and staring happily at [F/N]. She was oddly dressed in a poofy, intricately embroidered white dress and matching elvish boots. 

[F/N] stood on the shore of who-knows-where, Having dragged her aching legs out of the field she had found herself in and had somehow got here.

A shoreline with impossibly beautiful sights, Crystallin blue waves crashing against the unlittered sand and leaving frothing seafoam in it's wake. Rocks and other formations cracked out of the water, Homing the chittering crabs and other sea-life that dared to venture there.

Not to mention the surrounding cliffs, Rocky and unbelievably high, Unlike any kind of cliffside [F/N] had ever seen. She could've been convinced she was somewhere near the swiss alps. It was beautiful, Absolutely beautiful.

And it made [F/N] all the more uneasy.

"This- This is just impossible..!" [F/N] held her face in her hands, Breathing unsteady. She would've began pacing if not for the fear she had for the crabs and their chattering pincers, Eyeing them warily from the gaps in her fingers.

"Are you alright? Paimon is worried about you!" The girl- Paimon, Gasped as she watched [F/N] hastily shuffle away from the beach crabs, Hands sliding up to grasp clumps of her hair in distress.

[F/N] took a jolting step back when Paimon floated a little too close, Startled by sudden movement. Her eyes snapped over to look at the fairy, Darting from head to toe, Affirming that it was that odd attire that she was wearing.

Sure- She was oddly dressed. But the weirdest part?

[F/N] recognised her.

And [F/N] had fished her out of a whirlpool in shallow tide.

"Paimon thinks that you need to take a deep breath in! Crabs are scary, But they can't be worse than that whirlpool you saved Paimon from! Paimon would've been a goner if it wasn't for you..!" Paimon cheers as she claps her hands, Giddy expression on her round face as she drifted nearer to [F/N].

She, In turn, Let out a rather shaken yap.

"I-I.. I didn't even know I could do that..?! I don't even know why I even tried that..!"

This.. This was Paimon? Paimon, The mascot of Genshin Impact, And she was floating right in front of her thanking her. Directly. This couldn't have been real, [F/N] must've hit her head on something or other-

Like.. There was no way this could be real, Right? There must be some rational explanation. A dream. A coma. Some really deep sleep that [F/N] just needs to pinch herself out of, Right?

Though if the twigs scraping at her ankle as she walked earlier wasn’t enough..

[F/N] sniffled.

Ugh. God. This was all so confusing.

"I can't.. Just please, Tell me I'm dreaming, Paimon. Tell me this is all just some big scenario I've dreamt up inside my head and that I'm gonna wake up any minute now.." [F/N] almost pleaded as her knees began to buckle, Lowering as she collapsed, Shins burying into the sand of the shore.

This couldn't be happening, It just couldn't.

"Paimon doesn't understand, But she knows how it feels to feel scared and confused..!" Paimon said, In attempt to console her. "Do you wanna tell Paimon what's wrong? Maybe Paimon can help you out!"

[F/N] lifted her head from within her hands, Breathing uneasy as she watched Paimon slowly float down to her level. This was real, Wasn't it? How could this be a dream, [F/N] knew what dreams were like, Both lucid and otherwise, And it was nothing like this.

[F/N] let out a shuddering breath, Trying to calm her nerves, Swallowing back her apprehension.

"Yeah.. Yeah- You're right- I should tell you what's wrong, I'm sorry- I just saved you and now you need to deal with me breaking down in front of you.." [F/N] smiled nervously, Trying to laugh off her unease and discomfort- Though not very successfully.

Where would she even begin?

How could she begin?

[F/N] groaned as she hunched over, Collapsing onto her backside instead of her knees. Damn. [F/N] felt like she was stranded on an island, But at least the sand felt nice against her skin.

"I.. I don't think I'm from this world."

"Huh..?" Paimon tilted her head to the side, Eyes lighting up at the claim.

"I.. It's hard to explain but.. I'm not from this world- I think I might have somehow been transported here by.. Well.. I don't know how. One minute I was lying in my bed and the next.." [F/N] trailed off, Shaking her head as she felt her hands grasp the hems of her shirt.

Breathe in, Breathe out.

"It happened so quick.. I.. I was just up late reading on my phone when suddenly some kind of light just swallowed the room." [F/N] continued on, Trying to make sense of what had happened to her. "It.. It felt so sickening- It made my head begin to throb but then.. But then I felt great, If for only a second.. And then I woke up in a nearby field.. My bed nowhere in sight."

Paimon listened on, Her frown getting more and more present on her round face. [F/N] continued on, Her voice beginning to shake as she looked up at Paimon, Who .

Paimon hmphed.

“So.. If Paimon understands this correctly.. You’re from another world? You’re not from Teyvat..?!” She seemed almost astonished by the thought, Almost in disbelief at the mere thought that [F/N] wasn’t from around here.

She couldn’t blame the poor fairy, [F/N] was just as confused as she was.

“Yeah.. It.. It’s kind of hard to believe- I know. But you need to understand that one minute I was lying in bed- The next- I was here!” She stressed, Her voice sounding more and more strained by the minute.

It was hard not to break down again, Not to try lose her mind.

“Hmm..” Paimon hummed in thought as her sparkly eyes roamed over [F/N] and her sweaty/dirty attire. It was strange clothing. Nothing like Paimon had known- No cloaks- No skirts- No intricate leather corset with floral designs-  

No. [F/N] was wearing a large pastel-pink hello-kitty t-shirt she used for pyjamas, A pair of oversized fleece bottoms to match, Flowing down to her heels. Paimon hmphed at the sight of the mascot, Hand on her chin in thought.

Damn, [F/N] wished she had proper shoes.

“Well.. Paimon believes you! Paimon doesn’t think that anyone wearing something as weird as that can be from around here!” Paimon concludes, A triumphant smile crossing her face as well as her arms, Poofy sleeves puffing up along with her rosy cheeks.

[F/N] let out an awkward giggle.

“Yeah.. Uhm.. Where is here anyways?” She asked as she looked around, Eyes roaming across the steep cliffs and the flowing grass rife with the wind flowing through them. Blinking as she swallowed back her trepidation.

“Mondstadt! One of the seven regions of Teyvat! Oh.. Wait, You probably don’t know what Teyvat is, Huh..” Paimon hummed in thought.

Mondstadt?

Wow. [F/N] really had been Isekai’d, Huh.

Now, Of course, In any other situation- In any other fanfiction or anime that [F/N] had read watched and watched, This would be a dream scenario for her. There was even times where she had wondered what it’d be like 

Chewing on her pen as she did her schoolwork, Conjuring up scenarios in her head as she tried to get some shut-eye, Or just walking down the street on the way to her part-time. It was all apart of her routine, Daydreaming, Sometimes she’d even consider it something she’d like to happen.

In one of her favourite animes perhaps where she could be the insert that everyone loved and rooted for. She could be the person envisioned in her head. A guilty pleasure if you will, But [F/N] wondered who didn’t have those?

That’s what her ‘x readers’ were for.

It was an escape, A get-away from her ordinary life.

But to be completely and utterly honest?

…

[F/N] had never played Genshin in her life.

She threw her head into her hands, Holding back the urge to scream.

“I’m absolutely screwed, Aren’t I?”

[kiritila]

Are you still gonna be updating no one saw me?

this is such a long time overdue, but since ive been away so long i figured this would be a good way to address everything, like whats been happening in my life and my future plans for no1sm for everyones clarity.

to put it shortly, i work full-time, and have done for nearly 2 years now. i am a product designer and i work monday-friday, 9-5. i attend a full day of college classes once a week, this day being even longer than a work day, and on top of that i have a personal work-based tutor that i have to complete work for as well. so in terms of professional obligations, im extremely busy. in my personal life, ive been seeing friends a lot, running errands, planning for weddings, parties, buying a car, SO MANY THINGS. my life has been so hectic.

ive also been suffering some health problems recently. my earliest or readers that are close friends probably know i began writing no1sm to vent my feelings about trauma i underwent, and this obviously still affects me quite greatly alongside depression and anxiety. ive also been suffering quite badly with insomnia and fatigue problems, as well as, embarrassingly, moderately bad eczema.

perhaps the most ridiculous development of all: I AM NOT CURRENTLY HYPERFIXATED ON SOUTH PARK. SHOCK HORROR. BUT PLEASE DONT PANIC: it is still my spin, stan and kyle are still my most favourite characters ever, and most of all i still ENJOY south park and enjoy thinking about, planning, and writing no1sm (when im not completely utterly knackered). ive actually recently gotten majorly into formula 1 as a result of my friends, so if there are any f1 fans following me PLEASE SAY HI!!!!! i plan to do art for it but i have been busy and im also very much a perfectionist. (FYI: my favourite driver is max verstappen. no questions asked. i also love charles daniel lando oscar and honestly most drivers on the grid. i love niki lauda james hunt seb vettel and jenson button. i had a brief mclaren tooned hyperfixation. I AM CURRENTLY INCREDIBLY DEPRESSED OVER DANIEL RICCIARDO LOSING HIS SEAT)

anyway.. getting back on track.

AM I STILL GOING TO BE UPDATING NO1SM?

YES. YES YES A MILLION TIMES YES. i dont know when, but this story is something i have to complete for myself and for you guys. i realised i was putting myself under so much pressure for it to be perfect that it sapped the love i felt for it from me. now that i no longer have visible eyes on me waiting for updates on twitter, i feel much freer and relaxed with it. i dont know how or when, but yes, the story will be completed. do not ask me about the kyle prequel ive planned though DONT DO IT.

i also dont plan on posting about updates anywhere other than tumblr going forwards. ive since moved on from the twitter south park fandom where i was most active, as i felt like i was too old to be in a fandom of minors and the discourse was simply too much. so i decided to move to a fan space and sport that is a million times worse but still somehow has been better for me. so if you still want to follow me on twitter even though i dont south park post anymore, you can follow me at @vrstappns :)

WILL NO1SM HAVE AN UPDATE SCHEDULE?

NO. sorry, my mental health and my career comes first. i want to try and find a better balance that leaves me time to write but im afraid i need time to ease myself back in after so long off and theres no guarantee how long that will take me.

WILL YOU STILL BE MAKING ART FOR NO1SM?

YES. I HOPE. who knows when though cause i havent been able to draw in a long time and im still pissed off that i cant draw max verstappen as easily as i could ever draw kyle broflovski.

AM I ALLOWED TO USE YOUR STORY AND WRITE THE ENDING FOR MYSELF?

NO. PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS. as much as other authors may encourage this I REALLY DO NOT LIKE THIS. you dont know how much work i have put into this fic as well as how much of my own life and traumas are embedded between the lines of writing. this fic is practically half of me in the same way my parents’ DNA is a part of my make-up. not to sound rude but to even think you could possibly imagine how i intend for this fic to resolve and end when you dont even know me is laughable.

HOW WILL THE INTENSE HOMOSEXUAL RIVALRIES OF FORMULA ONE INFLUENCE THE INTENSE HOMOSEXUAL RIVALRY OF STAN AND KYLE GOING FORWARDS?

im sure 2019 charles leclerc and max verstappen guided carefully by brocedes and james hunt and niki lauda will figure something out. maybe not brocedes actually i am unsure if i want stan marsh to end up like nico rosberg. but i guess he is a good youtuber too and has great hair which is two things stan is NOT. gay loser. also david coulthard and sebastian vettel are there somewhere. GAY RED BULL RACING WILL LEAD US TO WORLD PEACE

thank you so much for reading, i know youve all probably moved on with your life but its a weight off my chest to finally write this out. i love this fic and i love that you all love this fic, if you are still here. i can only apologise for how long ive made you all wait.

please just have patience with me,

thanks muchly,

mike (formerly marshplaylist) vrstappns

[softxsuki]

hi!! id like to make an urgent request please :)

tw !! mention of self harm / new sh wounds , mention of a blade

if you’re alright with it, id like to request a (romantic) hawks x gn!reader where hawks walks in on reader relapsing.

ive recently grown more and more stressed and tired lately, like my energy is constantly being drained and no matter how hard i try im not enough to stop it. and i wanna reach out for help cause i know i have friends who care about me but i just cant for some reason—i dont feel the need to ask for help cause i just dont think i deserve it. no matter how many times ill comfort others i was never strong enough to ask for the same comfort, and instead of going to someone and talking about it i turn to my blade.

hawks is a big comfort character of mine and my current hyperfix, and as embarassing as it is—reading comfort fanfics of him is a way of coping with it all. so id gladly appreciate if you could write this for me :) ++ if possible, id love if youd be able to include hawks cleaning reader’s cuts, cleaning them bringd me a sense of comfort and id love to see that in the fic.

but if you’re uncomfy about anything at all, no worries ! you dont have to write this if you dont wanna :) have a lovely day<3

Hawks Comforting Reader After They Self-Harm

please do not read if any kind of mentions of self-harm will do you more harm than good!

Pairing: Hawks x Gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of self harm, blade, blood, scars

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Drabble

Word Count: 750

Summary: In which your BF Hawks catches you self harming and cleans up your fresh cuts

[A/N: Hey hey, so sorry for taking so long to write this, I know it was urgent. I just happened to get sick randomly and couldn't focus to write. But I finally got this done for you! I hope you're still around to read it </3. Hopefully it provides you with some comfort. Always go to others for help before taking matters into your own hands. Even if you feel like you can't, I'm sure the people in your life would love to help you out <3 I'm here too if you ever need anything! Enjoy!]

You look back and forth between the bloody mess in front of you to the panicked face of Keigo who had walked in on you. 

He was supposed to be gone for the whole day, patrolling his designated area until later that evening. Who knew he’d stop by to check in on you, hoping to have lunch together before continuing his patrol duties. Yet, coming home to you hovering over the bathroom sink with blood dripping from your delicate skin was not what he expected at all.

Of course he knew about your history with self-harm and could very clearly see all your past scars on your body, but he never expected to see you actively harm yourself in front of him. 

“Y/N…” He starts cautiously, eyeing the blade in your hands as you shake with regret.

“I’m sorry,” you cry, dropping the blade in the sink and moving your bleeding wrists away from his view, but he quickly closes the space between you.

Gentle hands grab your own and inspect the damage done. He rolls up the sleeves of his hero suit and gets to work on cleaning you up. With a clean towel he dabs the blood away, applying slight pressure to help stop the bleeding a little, whispering an apology whenever you flinch from the pain. 

He’s silent; contemplating how he let it get this far. He was a hero for crying out loud and the one person he wanted to keep safe the most out of everyone else in the world, managed to get harmed while he was away. He was angry and frustrated at himself that he couldn’t prevent the fresh cuts on your arms. All those nights he kissed your scars and whispered sweet promises of love and protection were all for nothing. Why couldn’t he be more useful to you?

“Keigo, I didn’t mea-” you start, but he quickly cuts you off as he finishes applying the bandage wrap to your wrist.

“I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault, it’s mine. I should have known something was off, I should have paid more attention and been around to help instead of being out. I’m sorry.”

He presses kisses to your bandaged wrist, just wishing that he could have the magical healing power that Recovery Girl’s kisses had. He wished he could kiss all your pain away and face it all himself in your stead. 

“No, no, this is all on me. You’re always there for me, telling me how much you love me and trying your best to encourage me and lift me up, but I always hold back,” you confess, snatching your arms away from him in guilt, “You’re so busy as it is saving everyone. I don’t want to add to your burdens with my own problems as well. I thought I could deal with it all alone, but I failed. I turned back to my blade because it was too much to bear on my own.”

He sighs, and this time brings you into his arms in an embrace, “That’s because we’re not meant to go through these things alone, babe. Even as a hero I don’t do things on my own either. I have a whole agency backing me up along with my other fellow heroes. No one can accomplish anything on their own without hurting themselves. So please let me be there for you to help you as much as you’ve helped me.”

Silent sobs escape your lips as he continues to hold you and speak.

“All those days when you held me after I failed to save someone. All those nights you patched me up after a mission and I stubbornly refused to go to a hospital; let me be there for you for all your tough times as well. Let me be the one to gather you up again and listen to all your worries, don’t fight your battles alone anymore. I promise you’re not a bother to me at all. I want to be there for you. It’s my job,” he reassures you. 

“All right,” you sniffle, finally wrapping your own arms around him, accepting his comfort.

He calls the agency afterwards, letting them know that he can’t come in for the rest of the day and instead spends his time with you. Listening intently to everything that’s been bubbling up in your heart, right by your side, wiping your tears away and giving you his unconditional support and love. He’s definitely making sure you don’t deal with things on your own anymore :)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted 3/5/2023

[kindred-spirit-93]

spooky stuff

howdy yall im back on my bs (biscuit soliloquy) and idk what im doing with my life any more. bold of me to assume that i ever did. in other news:

my latest hyperfixation so to speak is watching daz play through horror games lol i have no idea why its so entertaining but it is. the jumpscares be jumpscaring and i dont have to do any of the work to play so its a win win!

im currently sick to my stomach after watching one lol buuuuuuut i also have a new short story idea hehe!! is more comedic, and honestly seems to me more doable than the falcon & flower.

f&f really deserves better writing lol and ive been thinking how to make it a sensible length without cutting out too much lore that it gets watered down, but at the same time i cant afford the time or braincells to mentally write and im kinda stuck. so idk maybe ill work on chapters that eventually lead somehwere? ill get back to it as soon as my latest batch of braincells hatch 👍

--

til then lol this new idea is still halfbaked but it made me laugh so here yall go: broke uni student moves to be closer to campus. finds super cheap place to rent and its literally the perfect fit. knowing her luck all too well mc goes and checks the place out, bc surely theres something amiss.

nope! everything as far as her untrained eye can tell is normal and accurate to the advertising, its just that someone died there and lots of people werent comfortable with that. and its no problem for her so she takes it.

after a lil housewarming party consisting of her and her parents lol, some thrifted furniture and an unholy amount of rugs and blankets, mc begins to settle in and all that jazz. her marks are going up, shes sleeping better, its all great. until it isnt

weird stuff keep happening around the property and shes like oh. okay? and moves on. (unbothered queen. we stan)

quick detour; idk how well id be able to write considering this may be my first project, but it would be hilarious i think if shit got progressively weirder and more insane and shes like: *sips apple juice* welp. ive got a quiz tomorrow aint got time for this. or eh that kid had it coming or better yet: is that kite just suspended there? oh would you look at that it caught fire in mid air. cool. i honestly dont know which is funnier

boom the house is haunted. something, or rather someone, has been leaving her signs in the bathroom using the soap, moving around the plates and cutlery, ruining perfectly good upholstery (THAT WAS 73% OFF). its a huge invasion of her privacy and shes having none of it. also she doesnt believe in paranormal nonsense. this is more of an inconvenience to her than anything else. she yells at whatever the fuck is in her walls to show themselves before she contacts HOA >:(

with a pop a very pissed off ghost materialises muttering something about no need for escalations and that bitch gwennifer. she makes the ghost clean up the stuff they knocked over and what have u. and then shenanigans ensue i guess lol

--

this whole story started with me coming up with a scene where mc makes like direct eye contact with the ghost and plays ayat al kursi. it was significantly funnier in my head but the mental image stuck.

also just for kicks she throws (half assedly) some zamzam water at the ghost and it goes right through them. guys do you see my vision?

--

"i am here to make your life a living hell.

so not halal mode

one to match the gruesome horrors that lead to my demise...

brotha eugh

...so that my soul can finally be laid t- are you even listening to me??"

authubillah we have seen the evidence

"??????"

--

memes for the soul. ill get back to this maybe perhaps one day. goodnight its one am lol and i have a long day ahead of me tmrw :')

the post from the tags lol >:]

[toynbeck]

i’ve said this like a million times in the comment sections of your videos but your music genuinely means so much to me. i found i’ll let you kill me if it’ll make you feel better during the absolute worst time of my life like a week after it came out (when it only had like 700-900-ish views?) and listened to it for almost 6 hours straight. no other song has done that to me ever, not even songs from/relating to my hyperfixations which is !!! crazy to me !! i’ve listened to every song and cover you’ve posted before and since, since then and i don’t think any form of music has ever resonated with me as much as yours does. my favorites are obviously i’ll let you kill me if it’ll make you feel better, #savederpyhooves, blue camel, and possessor. but i like all of your music, i don’t think i’m capable of not liking it. i think this is all kinda silly of me to say to a complete stranger on the other side of a screen but i really just want you to know how much i appreciate your work and how much it’s helping me :]

didn't want to respond individually for fear of redundancy dulling my appreciation so i'll speak to all of you (with the same level of importance, i am still saying this to you)

hello, thank you :-)

writing music is a form of emotional regulation, processing and expression. for a while i was shouting it to the void, now suddenly quite a few people see it, that made me nervous at first. "is this too dark?" / "will anyone understand this?" / "what if this is misinterpreted badly? what if it doesn't sound good?" and so far i have found that at least one person enjoys whatever im saying. i don't necessarily even need approval, i just fear judgement, and im glad that hasn't really been an issue.

it's wonderful i think because it's like there are sides, facets, to my music and individual people seem to see at least one of them. there's a surface level meaning, my connection to it, and a way it comes off. sometimes people relate it to something i didn't think of at all. even when no one knows what it's directly about, the feeling seems to get through, and im very proud of that. you guys do like a little book club in my comments, it's fascinating.

..possessor is probably my favorite song ive ever written, because it's my favorite movie too :-)

[statueofeden]

Eras of L4D2!CATS Art (and Nellis Cats)

(CW: badly drawn blood, gore (its a zombie game haha), mental health briefly mentioned (minimal!).

Hello, I'm Eden. (They/them) I'm 22 years old and been playing L4D2 since it came out for xbox 360 in 2009 (I was 8 - going on 9). I started shipping Nellis when I was about 11. It was in fact my first ship ever.

I decided to make this lil thing because i've seen some interest in my recent post with my Nellis!cats :P.

In 2013, I hated my human art so I decided to design and make as cats so I could draw them easier. I use to use drawcast on my ipod touch.

I would finally get a more stable style and made more of my fav ship.

Later on that year, my mom gave me her old laptop and I got heavily into animation memes and computer digital art.

my first computer drawing:

My first animation:

I was hooked. A few months later, Little kid me decided to play around with an AU.

Heres more info about the AU before we move on:

(AU animation Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsesYjlm_htaAxclwRcBg6uhhjtQEN3OY )

I dropped my first banger of the AU on Dec 14, 2013.

2014-2015:

I was obsessed with drawing Nick and Ellis as cats still. I had made many animations and drawings of them.

Before I was diagnose with BPD, I had an episode and created this gem it like to mention :

I had also dropped this banger way before that (important later, I promise)

I ended the year off with a remake of an old Nellis drawing I made in 2013.

^(2015)

^(2013)

2016 - 2017:

At the end of 2015, I got a graphics tablet for Christmas. Legit my second drawing was Ellis!cat.

Sadly in 2016-2017 I was going through alot and also developed a new hyperfixation on fallout 4. I kinda forgot about l4d2 otherthan a few mentions of it here and there. Honorable mentions of art:

2018-2019:

I was going through alot during this time in my life.

I would redesign my most of l4d2!cats completely. I highly preferred natural colors over the other designs.

L4D2!Cats:

L4D!cats:

Honorable mentions of animations:

2019 - now:

Im still making l4d2!cats content. I adore them still and still plan on drawing them until I cant draw no more.

2021 art:

2022 art:

2023 art:

Remember when I told you to keep the "get out alive" video in your mind. Well, Ive very recently have sketched out a remake of it. (Come see the improvement!)

^(2015)

^(2023)

Welp, I think that's all! I hope you've enjoyed this post! Any questions, feel free to ask! I may or may not have answers.

Some of you may know me, some of you may not. Either way, thanks for reading and sharing the love for left 4 dead with me! I hope to share more soon! <3

[doyouremem8erme]

I just wanna let you know this blog feeds me marcy content even after the fandoms been dead and I can't be more thankful. GOD this show has such a special place in my heart, it really means a lot to know that there are still people who care about this series to the extent that I do. :)

I have many personal gripes on amphibia /LOVING, but mainly the missed potiental of a kids show by Disney that had to play back a lot of implications about the series to make it more palatable to the executives. I can't help but still respect that they got a way with a LOT, I also can't help but be sad there wasn't more darker scenes in s3 or for implications on true colors/the core/the girls grief as a whole. I can dream....,,,, that's why I live on fanfic and have a whole separate revised series in my head that I think of instead ❤️

Anyways I'm not really sure why I had the motivation to do this, I just think this blog is pretty great. I can't wait to hear more!

hehehe tysm!!! my hyperfixation got super suddenly reawakened right after i moved away to college and so im super nostalgic for the time i spent in this fandom back in high school now... this show really is closer to my heart than any other ive watched and i highly highly doubt ill ever feel the same way about any other show. it will always always be special to me. i said that abt other shows i hyperfixated on like steven universe but even that pales in comparison to what amphibia means to me!!! and marcy angst is ofc the best part of the fandom and i am not biased at all . these characters and their world are so incredible but tbh the fandom is even more special than the show. the true colors hiatus will always be incredibly nostalgic and idk if ill ever feel that same community in another fandom. hell i met my beloved partner of almost 3 years through this fandom and i see us lasting a lot longer. if i met my future wife because of amphibia then it really shows how much this show shaped myself and my life.

that really got away from me but yeah fanon is always there to fill in the gaps of the show. i never wanted to demand anything from this show that a disney cartoon wouldnt go through with but hey. the o&y anniversary is in two days. i sure never thought they would do THAT but they DID and it was horrible and fuckin AWESOME. and maybe thats why amphibia has always scratched my author brain more than any other fandom. the year and a half or so when my amphibia hyperfixation was totally dormant i spent just in the homestuck fandom and while thats easily one of the greatest pieces of media i have ever consumed in my life and ive written a decent handful of fanfic for... i have 80 published works for amphibia. thats so many!!! getting back into amphibia has gotten me writing so much again because theres something about it that is so compelling on its own but leaves enough loose threads open for fanworks to play within its structure and add in things that it feels like its missing.

to further treat ur nostalgia check out my fanart archive blog @3-stones-deity and my 3rd anniversary s3 rewatch project community which i got behind on running because of schoolwork but will certainly be catching up with before o&y!

[thebramblewood]

hi Shannon! I'm on my second read through of hzid and can I just gush a moment? I'm gonna gush

God, your storytelling abilities are masterful. I am utterly enamored by the way you have balanced so many aspects of this story. I know it's probably not many people's favorite part, but I do very much adore the slice of life aspects of the early story, I remember literally crying the second time I read Ulrike and Helena's breakup AAAAA. Complicated yuri.....anyway , I also love how many emotions I can feel about these characters. Caleb, Lilith, and Helena are all so utterly complex and there's moments, especially with miss Serial killer vampiress over here cough cough, where I adore them and I utterly hate them, which in my opinion is always a mark of good storytelling. That isn't to say that I think the side characters have any less importance. I'm obsessed with Ulrike, Julia, Grace, and so many others. Though, if I had to chose just a few of my favorite parts so far in my read through, id have to save the early parts with Caleb and Lilith and their ever going back and forth as well as Calebs trip to the magic realm. Im going to be honest, i dont usually care for cagyn but god they both fuck me up in this story so badly that ive come to enjoy the ship much more now. JUST! UGH! I LOVE THIS STORY IT'S MY CURRENT HYPERFIXATION. Hope this wasn't too weird and long, have a great day :)

Thank you for this! I really appreciate how deeply some of you engage with the story. Second reading?!? I can't believe it! 😱 I suppose it just goes to show that all my past creative writing experience was actually useful because sometimes I surprise even myself with how well certain elements fit when I didn't even think of them until partway through. I second guess the pacing all the time, so it's nice to know it doesn't bother others! Anyway, thank you for pointing out those specific moments. I was so hyped on that first Vatore Manor scene. It felt like such a meaningful vibe shift. And I loved using the Magic Realm so much! I want to bring the spellcasters back. I just have to find the best way to do it!

[felipe-v-fanblog]

My Questions:

What is your favorite portrait of Felipe V and why?

What is Felipe V known for?

Is it true that he lived life thinking he was a frog?

ah thank you for asking about him !! he is my hyperfixation forever and ever <3 always happy to talk about any historical figure anyway

i will make a long-ass post i must confess that i dont know when to shut the fuck up:

FIRST OF ALL i really like the hyacinthe rigaud portraits. specially the last one, which i know one of the copies is at Versailles along with a portrait of his brother le petit Dauphin and his father le grand Dauphin and I believe there is one of Charles, duc de Berry too? which is also his brother. Anyway I am insane about all of them so of course its my favourite. BUT my favourite version of that portrait is this one:

he has a heart ! on his wig. over his forehead. there. i think its funny. This portrait has a lot of version which are too similar to eachother but this one is the only one with that weird thing on his wig. Also this one isnt actually for the public display that is why its on a very low quality its being sold. which is a Shame. Its from his second reign as that was the moment he started using the ponytail.

WHAT is felipe v known for is a eh interesting question as i think everybody knows the upside down portrait of him in Xátiva, near Valencia, which is the autonomous comunity which hates the most Philip V as far as I know ? SO he got a lot of hate during the war of spanish succession (1701-1714, starting approximately when he was 17, as he gets to Spain at 16 - it finished around the end of 1714, the year he marries his second wife, Elisabeth Farnese - also a very interesting character which i know a lot of people love a lot) . So eh the important stuff is that spaniards hated bourbons because Spain hates frenchmen ? for some reason ? but im british so im supposed to hate them too. So anyway after the war of succession which is ! ofc after charles ii death which i know you like a lot :3 i also really love him iiii I will keep talking about philip v as to not change subject. So. eh he was also the grandson of Louis XIV which I know spaniards hated because he was in war with the Habsburgs - its a conflict since Louis XIII s times - and they were very culturally different. In fact Philippe suffered a lot when he came to the spanish court a la Marie Antoinette because it was too different. But its like the contrary of Marie Antoinette, because he was suffering because spanish was boring and he didnt even knew spanish. He also felt pity against the gente de placer because they had different morals in the french court (ofc the activity its bad in itself but i will not state the obvious, yet in the court of louis xiv there are many examples of mentally ill or desfigured people which were supported by the state. ofc the majority of them were part of the royal family but anyway philippe knew he shouldnt make fun of these people - he was rather disturbed by the group). So anyway the habsburg faction was against him but he was rather welcomed to Spain, he himself didnt felt spanish enough to be king - and even had to be reassured of keep being king since very young, years before abdicating.

Clearing that out, because the story about Philippe going to Spain, or his childhood, or his first marriage; are all stuff I would talk on and on about, eh, I will proceed to talk about other stuff he is known for. During his first reign his first prime minister, which was a frenchman that Louis XIV send to fix Spain, did fix Spain; ofc not as good as Charles III would later do it, but did the first steps towards it. He also send to made very important buildings of Spain like el Palacio de la Granja, where he is actually buried along with his second wife Farnese. He is also known for being the first Bourbon king in Spain, may say the first bourbons were Isabel de Francia (first wife of Philip IV - sister of Louis XIII) and Maria Luisa de Orléans (first wife of Charles II - daughter of Philippe d Orleáns, brother of Louis XIV - you probably know the tale about Don Juan José negotiating the marriage ! its a funny story). There is also very peculiar characters during his reign like Don Blas de Lezo or the Cardinal Alberoni (which Philip himself made sure to make cardinal by spamming letters to the pope about making him a cardinal - Philip was very fond of him, and even made him his prime minister and Archobisp of Malagá), there is also Louis-Joseph of Vendôme (Luis José de Borbón, as he is known in Spain), which Philip also gave him his life and made him virrey de Cataluña, heir of the throne in case he did without childs, and marshal of Spain. He has a thing for giving the people he loves everything they ask for and more. Louis-Joseph is one of the most important military figures of the war of succession along with the duke of Berwick and the count of Tessé (marshal of France since Vendôme was exhiled from there. also a funny story. Vendôme was a real weird guy and I dont get to understand why Philippe liked him so much).

I finish the last section of this post. Which is getting big asf. The frog thing. Its very weird for me to see many people which make jokes about that ? I guess people think its funny ? but its not the only think he had issues with ? must say he was melancholic aka disordered since all his life. He was not know for being a normal kid, he was very quiet and shy. I know for a fact that he was bulimic, but he also presented a mood disorder, which has been mainly theorized to be Bipolar II, which I am actually okay with that version as he presented many of these traits - more tentative to depression, known as a hypomaniac state, and more tentative to psychosis. Even with that, psychology is very stained with a mysoginistic and racist history, and the diagnosis of male historical figures with bipolarity is one of them. First because they dont actually diagnose him with Bipolar II thats my own suggestion because spanish historians do their job terribly and dont even try to take it seriously enough to stand what kind of bipolarity are they talking about - they just threw off bipolarity because the mainstream idea of bipolarity is someone who tends to be happy for some moments and then deeply depressed. SO after throwing off my own agenda I will state the facts. He was deeply depressed and then went on a manic state from the sound of music. He employed an italian castrato - the most famous one ! - Farinelli to sing and play music for him, as he rested on the bed, and made him repeat the songs over and over again. He would have loved spotify. And after a lot of repetitions he even sang the songs himself, as these made him very happy. He also made Farinelly his prime minister (this guy seriously had problems with giving everything to the people he loved). He also had a very fucked up sleep schedule, making his ministers met him at the bed of his wife at 2 AM, as he never left these chambers. He had a big fear of dying, normal between Bourbons, and a big religious trauma since his childhood - he had a very severe tutor, which is actually a remarkable figure in the reign of Louis XIV; and even the spaniards were weirded out by how much he used to confess himself with Alberoni. He also had paranoid delusions, which are known to be bizarre, such as the time he thought his clothes were shining weird, and that they had poison, and because of that he started to use his wife s clothes (this is, well, a thing that happened for some reason. He ordered to only let nuns make his clothes for this). He was also hypersexual, and there is not a funny part about it, but I always joke about the fact that he was the first guy to drag a dildo to Spain (fun fact). So thats all. Ah he also thought for some time that his body parts would fall off and that he was a frog. Which the first is Cotard delusion and the other is just a bizzare delusion, as many psychotic delusions are. He liked to watch the gardens a lot, and used to be fascinated by the frogs jumping around it. This was a very small moment of his later years, when he barely left the bed, as he was very depressed. Thats the answer to the question. Now you know a lot about Philip V mental state which may or may not be funny. I think the frog thing was made popular by tiktok? but that was a very small part of his mental disorders. I love him a lot hehe. I personally think he had BPD as he was very fond of the people he loved and had many trust issues, and BPD also can make people more tentative to psychotic disorders and bipolarity. Spaniards tend to lie about the bourbons or exaggerate stuff because the historical records are tainted by habsburg faction, so the majority of my information comes from french people of the time. Feel free to ask questions or dont READ THIS AT ALL this is A BIGASS POST. I can also recommend free pdfs to read about his time blablabla I specially like Liselotte (Elizabeth of the Palatinade) letters and the memoirs of Saint-Simon, even if he talks a bit too badly about Louis-Joseph or le grand Dauphin.

[brandileigh2003]

Ok. But like?

I'm cool with remus not being traditionally beautiful. But Sirius still thinking he's the best thing ever. I think that he has certain attractive features, but he's def not some rockstar and most ppl don't take a second glance. But you need that to see the shade of his eyes, his crooked smile. Sirius loves him and finds beauty because of not despite of his scars. Bc they show strength and tell a story.

Mid level I think someone put it. Sure, I get why that can be a thing.

But. I think he can have sex appeal in other ways. His smile, his voice, a look in his eyes, muscles in certain places that defies him being otherwise skinny.

I'm fine with sirius being super intelligent and quick. Its canon after all. I love how him and James have this quality. But I don't think that means that remus liking to read or studying a lot takes that away from Sirius. I think that he likes academic validation, and he needs to read and study to stay caught up. He wants to prove he's worthy to be at school and has to work for it. I do think that he's smart though, and adds to group dynamics.

I don't think that he's just a downer and boring persay, otherwise why would they want to be with him. I think that he'll do the research maybe on the great idea that Sirius and James had and they will later carry it out flawlessly. Or sees some kind of gap in the plan and can think quick to help patch it up.

I do think he probably gets so hyperfixated on things which some people can't stand. but sirius loves to hear him talk about it. Just like remus is obsessed with everything sirius has to say. He's totally a nerd but I don't think he's just pathetic or a loser. Or maybe I just don't see those words the same as the recent posts have been using for him.

I think he's extraordinarily kind. he worships sirius, who in turn thinks remus is also the best. He's not rude to him even though I really do think they fight. But can't stay mad at each other long.

I do think that he can be angry, but I also think that a lot of times it's just at himself or crappy life circumstances. He's normally careful to keep any anger controlled bc he's worried about perception.

he's shy and and awkward and deals with a lot. He loves to help the younger students, and he uses above hard earned study methods to help them bc everything doesn't just come naturally or can share how he overcame it.

If everyone has a crush it's not bc he's completely hot or any of that. He's a soft boy with big comfy sweaters that gives good hugs. He's a good listener, a good teacher, shares anything he has, especially the chocolate that seems to be never ending in his bag. Bc he believes that it'll make you feel better. He has a kind word or compliment and can make you feel better.

I think he can be a momma's boy. And wants hope or poppy to hug him, and give him a space to cry and be weak. Otherwise I think that he likes to try to hide his pain bc he doesn't want to be a burden.

And ... That all said. I think that CR remus is different than a lot of this and hes absolutely perfect and I love him and I'd do insane things for this fictional man. It's one of my favorite ways to read about him. But something that carries over there from everything else I said is how enamored he is with Sirius Black. And how much he loves his inner circle. How he has this sacrificial love.

But anyways, I could go on about CR but that's totally not the point. Ive just seen a few things and wanted to say some things about how I see him a lot. And maybe the posts that have me feeling kind of sad talking about him are actually saying some of the same things I'm just negatively associating some words or ideas bc I know personally I can also interpret things completely the wrong way or not read into the subtext well enough

Let me know what you think. But if you think this is wrong; be kind.

And the people who like to come all up in my inbox about hating Sirius-- this isnt that. To be clear. I don't want remus to take over any traits of Sirius or whatever else you accuse me of. This has to do mostly with remus except me saying that sirius sees something in remus that a lot of people don't, that they're in love and adore each other.

I do in fact love Sirius Black and think he's wonderful. And you're missing the point if you think I hate that man. But I want to talk about remus rn and if you want something talking about Sirius, so many other wonderful people on here do that, so let's find that instead and let me hyperfixate and talk about remus.

Other random things I'll probably add to that really are prb just me.

-he is a horrible dancer. But he'll do it for sirius

-he'd do almost anything for Sirius.

-he's a music snob. But he'll read anything

-he is super annoying in class bc he shakes his leg or taps his quill. Sirius thinks it's adorable though.

-he needs a cane around the full. But he doesn't like to use it.

-the man loves weed. Him and hope smoke together.

-he has no idea how to take care of his hair

-to me he's associated with chronic illness, pain or disability in every universe. Or some mix or variation. (Ofc authors have free choice it's their story and I have no right for demands or anything) but I write him that way, hc him that way, get stupidly happy when I read it bc I feel so seen, search AO3 tags regularly for these portrayals.

-remus has no sense of style. But sirius doesn't care, he's so soft and cozy with his sweaters. The only thing about that is that I'm personally convinced hope bought remus a leather jacket, he shows up wearing it on the train, Sirius somehow gets his hands on it... Remus' eyes pop out of his head, maybe drools a bit- and it becomes Sirius' trademark

[furymint]

2024 Creator Reflection

FFXIV.

1. Playing with each others' fingers

it was nice to write wwi again... id planned for a complete conversion of nol and eli's story into this verse, but other hyperfixations got in the way and i forgot all my research for it (thankfully I have lots of notes). i liked how both of them are ridiculous here, and how nolanel is able to show both reason and disorder under an incompetent system.

2. Frightened

i think this was the strongest nol/eli writing this year. i had a lot of fun working out the correct verbs and balance during the fight. challenging nol w magic and garleans was also satisfying. i didnt get to participate much in nutley's extraordinary Tower rp plot, so im glad i could write this little bit of nol during endwalker. his silly convo w eli abt crushes is also set during that time.

3. Possessive Hand-Holding

This one is cute. I like culture shocking nol and eli with each other's communities, but i usually do that w nobility or penury, not making nolanel walk into a cruising district HGTHGTHHU 

FFXVI.

1. For Now I Am Winter

i have two more to write, but this is 200 words each (plus a couple bonus longer ones) of teredios in winter. i got to write some wwi au which kind of made me rly happy. i started to get used to the tiny frame as i continued throughout the month, and it rly enabled me to explore some ideas whether or not they fit in such a limit or not. i ended up liking each response in its own way, but i think 4. tinsel, 10 icicle, and 16. candles are my favs. i also need to give a big thank you to my friends for absolutely exploding my emails w comments. you make me so happy 😭😭😭

2. the waves now loose

tall ship brain rot finally indulged in.. it was fun to be back on the water after so long. getting to write invulnerable, young, spiteful dion after coming from my tired post-game dion was also great fun. it took me about 4 months to finish it and it began w this bullet point i cooked up while brainstorming lavendre's 2023 secret santa/No murmur against Fate.

even if this is canon-compliant tedi (the sanbreque navy is REAL OK🤡), i liked getting to establish some more of terence's refusal to accept the wider financial responsibility of knighthood bc that will be big in The Light I Hear ch3. talking abt the violence and tragedy of the ship is what i did best tho i think.

'terence writings words on dion's back w his finger' is a very old concept i had in my pocket for nol/eli which never had the right time. this fic has the longest and most explicit smut ive ever written (which isnt a lot lbr) and i think it finally kicked that bug out of my brain that liked writing it. which is also to say, idk how to reflect on it bc i feel neutral towards it rn. i have a lot of brainworms i need to wake up in 2025 to feel passionate again.

im not gonna put too much detail into this before i make myself upset. i didn't really meet any of my goals from last year. i did a lot of tellier research and made some astounding developments on that end, but not much else. i want to write more no matter what. i can feel the rust on myself every time i try to write, and when i look at my older writing and its beauty i get paralyzed by how i can no longer produce something like it right now.

i had a lot of good times last year too, though, and miku expo was probably the best day of my life. i also got to see kikuo, masashi hamauzu, nothing but thieves, and ffviir2 orchestra. we went to new york and i met karo and anew! i went to tellier's apmnt and found new poems! i made wyvern tails and gave a few out. i played a lot of disney dreamlight and made some decor im rly happy with. i plotted jillian's xmas gift for a while and she really liked it. i enjoyed the new dragon age game a lot. i bought some books im super thrilled to have. i got the sculpture arts aerith statue.

i need to build my stupid pc no matter what. i need to take care of myself. i need to let myself write instead of fearing my inability. im going to finish my degree next year. im scared about 2025, but it'll also be the year me and jillian get to see hachi. i really hope we can see hitorie at miku symphony.

thank you everyone for being my friend

past reflections:  2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 | 2023

[definitelynotshouting]

Hello again! My ADHD has decided that the Hunger AU is to be my newest hyperfixation, and as such I have some more questions/interpretations I'd like to push forward, if that's alright. As always, no pressure in responding, and I hope this ask is fun to read :)

First off, I was going through some of your Listener posts for Reasons and I noticed a little tidbit in one of them: Watchers cannot feed off of the emotions of Listeners. If this is still the case, why were Martyn and BigB in the Life Games, if Grian can't feed on them, and were their mindsets still adversely affected? Could Grian (or theoretically, any Watcher) tell something was Off about them this way?

Another thing I noticed was that all Watchers are essentially clones of each other. Passing by the question of ecological diversity (I might think on that a different time), this implies that Grian, or at least, the Watcher-larvae that got implanted in him prior to all the code-copying, is a copy of another Watcher. Am I reading this right? Because if so that has implications and I love it.

And finally the biggest thing that's been on my mind: the Void (or the in-between, I've seen both). The space between servers. This thing has vexed and fascinated me since I read chapter one of your fic months ago. I think I've come to my own interpretations on the space, but I'd love to hear what you have plotted as well. For example, you mentioned that Developer Crystals are sort of hubs for servers - considering how you talked about it, the number of servers they can support must be pretty high. I've come to think of it kind of like a galaxy - and elliptical galaxy to be specific. Is this a correct way to think about it?

You've mentioned that being out in the in-between is dangerous for those not prepared - how much training does it take to be a Voidwalker? How does inter-server travel for regular players work? Are there extra steps that need to be taken when traveling from one Crystal's hub to another?

And on a personal interpretation note, I interpret the Void as looking kind of like space (as you often refer to in your work), but also... not. Specifically, when you talked about Developer Crystrals, I imagined them looking kind of like the Paths from Attack on Titan, just minus the ground (and being a lot bigger).

One final question, since it's been bothering me for ages: how does the ground work in the Void? It's been killing me since chapter 1.

Sorry for the massive ask, but it takes a particular sort of worldbuilding for me to come up with so many questions. I'm really having a fun time working with these rules - so thank you for making them!

Heyo!! I finally got a chance to answer this, which ive been trying to do since you sent it but unfortunately real life had other plans 😂😂😂 but i have the time and brain now, so here are hopefully some satisfying answers to your questions!!! :D

1.) BigB becoming a Listener was relatively recent; he was still a Player when he got pulled into the life games. As for Martyn, i think that because Listeners are so new, he was probably the first one Grian had ever encountered (at the time of 3rd Life at least). So he didn't realize he couldn't feed off of Martyn's emotions-- all he saw, in that half-frantic frenzy of "i need to eat right fucking now," was hey, i know that guy, and he's also in close proximity to BigB, so Grian sorta automatically pulled him in.

Afterwards, I'd say once Grian figured out he couldn't feed from him, he still ended up pulled in the next two times because of the familiarity (and because for as much as Grian can't feed off of him, Martyn still causes a lot of edible emotions in other people). But yeah, any Watcher would be able to tell if someone was a Listener!! And Listeners are able to tell if somebody is a Watcher, although their Player usually won't understand what that means beyond "hey theres something Weird going on with that guy."

2.) Yep!! All watchers are structural-code and utility-code copies of each other; their memory codes and surface codes are the only things that differentiate them from one another. This does indeed have some very fun implications to ruminate on fjsbdkdnd

3.) I'm not sure if i would describe dev crystals as a "hub," if only because that sorta implies that they're habitable-- but they are indeed the center of each server cluster, and i would honestly say the description of an elliptical galaxy is totally spot on :] they can indeed maintain a high amount of servers, but if the count grows too high then they can overload and stop processing the flow of unraveled code as efficiently, which can then cause backups, which then make them blow up, which is. obviously, pretty not good akdnwkdjek

Think of the void between servers as the bottom of the ocean. Absolutely crushing depths, the kind that will kill you in an instant if you don't have the right protective gear. Voidwalkers are basically people who are so good at coding that they can keep their code from getting pulverized and walk right through it like they're taking a casual morning stroll. It takes a ton of effort and energy to do, and is very dangerous-- i would say you have to be EXCEPTIONALLY quick-thinking, an efficient multitasker, and have a lot of practical foresight to achieve it without dissolving. Hence why there aren't many of them, and I'd honestly say Xisuma is probably one of, if not the, best. The fact that he was able to take five people including himself into the in-between, and keep them all alive, is INSANE. Brother outdid himself truly

As for interserver travel, thats something im currently working on lore-wise (and will hopefully be able to post about soon)!!! But the basic gist im working off of right now is that there are servers that act as server hubs, or waystations-- basically servers whose only purpose is to act as an in between point to access other servers. I'm toying with the idea of special portals called launchers, and the concept of zip files/share folders + creating folds in the fabric of the Greater Code to cross vast distances within a short distance. If you've read A Wrinkle In Time, thats the sorta thing im thinking of. But unfortunately right now its all spaghetti in my brain, so im still working on straightening that out until i can explain my thoughts coherently 💀💀💀💀

I can say rn that travel between dev crystals and their server clusters is not possible just yet. The universe is fucking HUGE, and there are countless devs and server clusters within it; the ability to travel between them isnt quite feasible right now, but it'll get there eventually :] not within the scope of the main story, though-- all of that fully takes place in this single corner of the universe

For dev crystals themselves, i picture them looking a lot like giant end crystals!!! the thought is that end crystals are basically like. a mini version of a dev, and that the beams you see healing the ender dragon are bursts of raw code pulled in from the rest of the server. so yeah, end crystals except massive on a scale we can barely comprehend and also ten million times more explosive (and more capable of handling the stability of an entire server cluster so it doesnt collapse in on itself)

4.) LAST BUT NOT LEAST. I. will fully admit when i wrote the walking on the void it was, at the time, a purely aesthetic choice. But i am legitimately thinking now about the implications of that, and toying with a few concepts that i wanna noodle on more before i fully commit to them. Sorry for leaving it a mystery for now!!!! 😂😂😂😂 it'll probably get answered in the post i'll eventually make about launchers and interserver travel

hope these were helpful and continue fueling your brainrot!!! thanks for being patient while i wrangled my brain enough to answer them :]❤️❤️❤️❤️

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

modding/chara building diary

just realized i can just post truly anything. this is sort of ffxiv posting but not really. this is also sort of enstars posting but not really.

this exists so i can look back on it <:) a lot of this probably makes no sense to most people, sorry.

uhh i was kinda into modding ffxiv two years ago. then i stopped because the community around this is full of the most unsympathetic people you will ever meet, and that was honestly just very demotivating. but i play ffxiv regularily and its rather fun and easy to mod. and thats illegal!!! btw!!!! (no one care)

so since enstars has hurt me one too many times and there is no hope for things to get better, i am coping (or not) and grieving terribly by making a seeker catboy who isnt really koga but has all the parts of him that are important to me and that i enjoy.

yeah idk if this is productive either. but its not doing any harm probably. ffxiv as a game has its ups an downs but i find the universe to be very very easy and fun to build around.

idk. im just having fun with it for now.

ive been meaning to make an NA alt and replay some of the early game at least (i started in... 2017? its been so long. man.) and this seems like a perfectly nice vehicle to do so :) and while that happens, i can maybe organically learn about the pretty-much-OC i am trying to build. but out of perfectionist ambitions, i had to mod everything into place first.

i have decided on a name but i ueuuueeehhhhughhhh >publically naming your characters when youre a modder. so i will say "W" for now. basic lore thoughts i knew going into this:

he needs to be a tia because i like catboys and theyre all vaguely gay loner nerds and incredibly hyperfixated on one specific topic

the Warg seeker tribe seems like the obvious and fun pick

i want a monochrome grey colour scheme + Much Teeth

-> game limitations classify those as keeper traits, not seeker traits. but i dont care!!! however that means im using a keeper model for all of this

the character has to be an artist. because the "i need to make art and i wont accept any other way of life" sort of mentality is precious to me due to how unsustainable and stubborn it is

-> i have for now settled on painter because its the type of art i have most connections to. also bc uh love and beast ref ig (I HATE YOU "HIDDEN BEAST"!!!! I HATE YOUUUU!!!!!! but its cute he was a painter for it, isnt it)

his place of origin is most likely the north shroud, esp the bit that got utterly messed up by the calamity, around alder springs. mostly because its an interesting place and warg must exist in the area due to the ixal

this also implies the warg seekers might work in mining these days Or have largely moved their residence. or they split up. i need to re-do coils

to support himself while his art isnt selling yet, i think itd be nice to put him with a tree nursery around gridania that i already thought of for my main ffxiv chara. i just think its funny if theyre ex-coworkers. that is all

-> hes creating incomprehensible symbolism-y shit to me. without people in it. but constantly attempting to redefine and depict humanity without humans. he hates drawing landscapes and portraits but will do so grumpily, if it gets him acknowledged and paid

because i am forever deeply fan of the rkg dynamic, the character must have a muse, which is dead, but which he clings to dearly for inspiration and emotional support. esp bc i dont think the guys that social otherwise.

the drama of him seeing a ghost that is no longer there but real to him is nice.... and honestly even practical. it might just be aetheric residue with a sprinkle of mental illness.

what of the muse? i dont know. a fellow painter, who couldnt follow that passion. obviously they must have met before. i have vague thoughts but nothing im confident enough in yet (i think a duskwight family of heretics could be interesting and dramatic but ehhh) ALSO I DONT THINK THEYRE ACTUALLY DEAD-DEAD LOL but i havent figured the situation out yet

-> you know in star trek tng when Q just randomly shows up to bother picard. thats maybe sort of how id describe whats going on

the muse W sees is a version of a person that is long gone, and cannot return. the actual person behind that might still be out there but they are not the one that left an impact on W. what W sees and passionately interacts with is a phantom that only exists bc his mind allows it to, it is a self-serving vision, at least to a degree. maybe comparable to what fray is.

-> W never actually paints them. he only paints emotions about them. (they were a portrait artist and it makes them rather sad)

which leaves me with a nice to do list i can work on every once in a while, like making the chara, doing sidequests in the north shroud, looking at leve and fish descriptions of that area, doing coils again. to begin with.

anyhow, to the actual modding part. its such a work in progress. but i have made so many small adjustments already.

got an asymmetric face UV base to work on

edited the face mesh, mostly to make the chin more broad and to pull up lower canines

translated the standard miqo'te facial markings into smth more dog-like in appearance, while attempting to keep their canon design somewhat intact

added some basic make up, as well as bit of a gradient

+AN ASHY NOSE. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING A MIQO'TE CAN HAVE

got rid of the ear skin

replaced ears and tails with a torgal body parts port WHICH THANKFULLY EXISTED ALREADY? THANK YOU RANDO ON XMA

darkened the eyeball to resemble canine eyes more

slightly adjusted the dimensions of some face and body parts, like the nose

got rid of the catboy tear lines. bc on dogs they look unhealthy. now hes not a dog. and they dont look bad on game models. but the association is there. this makes no sense really, it just bothered me personally

-> to do: definitely need stronger thicker brows. look up how that works now after the graphics update. add a bit of skin texture? a bit of freckles/moles? need to find out how to hide hair when a full helmet is equipped. also since the ears are attached to the tail, i need a version of the model that just has the tail, so i can kick the ears if i need to (impossible to explain. but what if he wore a hat)

i made a hair mashup for this because. why not. then i painfully retaught myself how weighting armatures works. bc i hate myself. also made shapekeys, so he can wear hats. but i learned a lot so its ok (crying) (thumbs up)

TBSE download bc what else are you supposed to do

added a gradient to his lower legs and arms too, to match his face, also added some skin details but nothing crazy

started making the hands uglier. this guy touches dirt and paint thinner all day. he must have the ugliest hands in the world. and i love that.

but its not enough. we have to go deeper. i have to make them WORSE STILL!!!!!!!! i wonder if i can just shorten the fingers or if that will mess up animations. hmmm ill have to try

also made a quick chest piece mashup just so hes dressed in smth for now.

-> to do: worse hands. maybe paint on rougher skin? i think it would be cute to add paint he didnt manage to wash off to his hands? hrmmm. also ill need to make custom earrings. there still smth about the hair that i need to fix (augh)

but yeah thats what i got so far. might update later on. i just thought itd be fun to capture my initial thinking process in case this goes somehwhere. i like being creative but im not that huge on drawing tbh. so i do stuff like this and nui clothing to stay sane while also engaging in arts and crafts LOL....

[purplesurveys]

1968

Are you currently reading anything? Why did you choose to read it? I haven't been reading anything. I do have a book of history essays that I read on-off, if anything...I can only get to it when I'm in a certain mood and if I have the time. And I don't always have lots of the latter.

Do you prefer water slides or roller coasters? Is there a reason? Ooh water slides, easily. I can't ride roller coasters - the motion sickness I get from them is too much. Plus with slides, splashing into the water immediately after always adds to the fun.

What did you do today? Traveled to a place I've never been to before for work; had amazing mozzarella sticks at said place I've never been to before; had the most unpleasant religious conversation during my Grab ride home (why are their drivers more frequently trying to shove their god down my throat hahaha?); ate sisig rolls with rice for dinner; and have since been spending the rest of evening watching clips of my latest hyperfixation - BIGBANG lol.

Do you like writing stories or reading them better? You'll always find me reading them. I've desperately tried writing stories – it's just never been meant for me.

What, other than music, is your “outlet”? Bold of you to assume music is one of them, lmao. Anyway, for me it's pretty basic tbh - I just need YouTube and all the time in the world. I don't really ever run out of things to watch there.

Are you one of the people who believes their iPod/music is their life? No.

Are there any keys on your keyboard that have letters fading away? Impressively enough on this 8 year old laptop, no. Looks good as new.

Are you wasting your time with the person you like right now? I don't like anybody.

Do you remember the exact words that were said to end your last relationship? Continued from last night. No. And I'm thankful that I don't. Remembering the things I'm better off forgetting would be brutal for me mentally, I think.

What was the last song you had on repeat for more than 10 minutes? Home Sweet Home - GD, Taeyang, Daesung.

Is there anyone you used to have a crush on that you’d be embarrassed to admit to now? Yes. I had a few childhood crushes I'd like to keep tucked far, far away in the darkest of closets, lmao.

What was your favourite grade? Least favourite? If I'm remembering correctly, Year III (junior year, high school) was my favorite and best year both academically and in how my social circle exponentially expanded at the time.

Worst is easily Grade 6 - I had no friends, no social skills, and my grades were pretty lackluster. I think this was a time when life at home was difficult, what with my mom being at her peak Abusive Monster Mom phase...so it kinda crept its way into every aspect of my life, especially school.

What grade did you have the best marks? The worst? I made particular efforts in Years III and IV only because your marks in those levels are included in UP's computation for your UPCAT grade – so I definitely went the extra mile to perform well then.

Worst scores I think would be a three-way tie across Grade 4, Grade 6, and Year I. Hahahaha I hated studying so even though I know I could've done better, I just never put in the effort up until the one single point I knew it actually mattered, aka taking the UPCAT.

Is your iPod always charged, or do you leave it dead for a while? I'll refer to my phone for this one – it's not always charged. I'm quite terrible at maintaining the battery on it and oftentimes I'll let it go straight to zero.

Do you like long car rides, or do they bore you? My feelings about them vary depending on the destination. Am I going on a leisure trip with my immediate family? If yes, then I'd look forward to the ride, no matter how long it'd take. Am I traveling 100 km just to attend a work event/shoot? I'd already be dreading it like 48 hours before.

Are you hard to make conversation with? Not at all. I get excited with conversations + have no problem opening up, and enjoy it all the more when the other person matches my energy for small talk.

Do you read lots of magazines? Nope.

In your opinion, who’s the best looking celebrity right now? Aw man I have the fattest crush on G-Dragon these days...other than him, hmmm this is gonna be a problematic/questionable opinion for some lol but I've always found Kendall Jenner pretty. Xu Minghao too!

Would you rather go to a Taylor Swift or Kate Voegele concert? I'd rather stay home or do something else that day.

What is one concert you’re not going to that you’d do anything to be at? None at the moment + for the most part, I've been able to go to the shows I wanted to go to. The only exception was in 2023 when I had to miss out on Bruno Mars since I had JUST come from my Bangkok trip + it was simply impossible to get tickets for his show anyway. The entire Philippines wanted to see him. I wanted to see him, lmao. I'm still bummed and bitch about missing him to this day LOL

Using a quote, say something to your most recent ex: No thanks.

Also using a quote, say something to your current bf/gf, or crush: I don't have any.

What is a song you think is played on the radio way too often? I don't tune in to the radio nearly enough to make a judgment on this.

Who was the last person you slow danced with, and to what song? I've never slow danced with anyone other than the person I was seeing nearly a decade ago.

Who of your best friends have you not hung out with? I haven't really had a 1:1 date with Reena.

Who have you hung out with the most? Why? Angela. It's a bonus that she lives relatively close by; but distance notwithstanding, I know I'd see her the most often regardless. I've said it here many times but we're pretty much sisters and our lives are just super intertwined with one another's at this point that we naturally just spend the most time together.

Who was the last person to buy you something? Probably one of my parents; I can't particularly recall at the moment.

What did you last eat? Did you make it for yourself? A burger from Jollibee.

Are you talking to anybody right now? What is your relationship with them? Nope.

As a child, did you ever go to camp? I did not.

Do you remember who the first person you ever had a sleepover with was? Yes.

Who was the last person you had a sleepover with? I don't have lots of those anymore, lol. Last one was in 2022 when I spent the night at Angela's ahead of our quick vacation in Zambales.

How do you decide which surveys to take? Continued yet again from the night before. I can go for anything, really, but I watch out especially for surveys that are a layer deeper than the basics (favorite color, favorite movie, etc. Which works out for me, since most surveys do a great job of being creatively random.

If necessary, do you think you could go a whole week without eating? I would never do this as an active choice.

What was the last movie you watched, and with who? I'm having such a hard time remembering – I never watch movies anymore! I can tell you the last series I watched a few minutes of, though: Coffee Prince, lol.

What is something that scares a lot of people that doesn’t bother you? Public speaking.

What is something that doesn’t bother a lot of people, but scares you? Fire. I can't even turn on a lighter or use a stove.

Do you like all kinds of music, or are there some you won’t listen to? There's a lot of genres I wouldn't listen to. I'm not much of a music person to begin with, and I tend to stick to the genres I already like.

Who was the last person to have their arm around you? Why? My dad...we were just walking around the mall earlier and he rested his arm on my shoulder just because.

What was the reason for you last being mad at your best friend? I was kinda pissed at Reena for not looping me in her plans to get ticket purchasing assistance for Hobi's concert, lmao.

How often do you get mad at your best friend? I never get mad at Angela and Andi. Reena and I have a few fundamental differences that throw me off sometimes, but for the most part we're great and I try not to let it get in the way of our friendship.

Do you feel bad for people easily? Not usually. But what a broad question. I guess it depends.

End this survey with a random quote or random lyrics. "Then he flings it."

[cconfusedkat]

it’s honestly pretty refreshing to see other ships such as any of the bishops/lamb aside from JUST narilamb and leshycat (I love both of those ships, don’t get me wrong) but with the limited amount of characters who make good ships it would be nice to explore those other ones too

it is arguable that it would be weird since the lambs were wiped out by the bishops and the bishops were slain by the lamb, but depending on your interpretation of who the lamb is as a person and a god, and also having a redemption arc (just like narinder does, it’s sorta evil vs evil vs evil in cotl so if narinder can get redeemed for his evil, why not everyone else?)

YES YES RAHHHHHH when i got into the fandom when the game came out i only liked narilamb fjmdsm but just recently i bought the game (in april) so i began learning about the actual lore and stuff and all the other characters--i happened to stick to narilamb again for a few weeks until i latched onto lambmura first 😂 then it was kallalamb, leshylamb, lambket, then i started thinking of sozomura, sozolamb, sozoket, kallasozo, foxlamb, DHSJDHAKDJ theres so many i can name so far,, rn i just painfully hyperfixate on sozomura, kallasozo, and lambmurasozogoat (VERY SPECIFIC I KNOW HAAHADJADN)

No no but youre so right, ive seen people uncomfy with bishops/lamb and thats 100% okay! Like you said its literally the fact that they genocided all of lambs race,, so like,,, yes arguably weird-- EXACTLY EXACTLY I AGREE!! I know each persons lamb is different, so mine for instance only started warming up to the bishops after aboutttt.... a couple of years ("a couple" more like thirty 😭😭) so that their respects are still being paid by the ex bishops, they were able to even start a new for the lamb species :-D it took a long while to get where they are now but theyre all just trying to get along and the one thats had the longest relationship arc had to be shamura because theyve had a rough time adjusting to the cult so lamb in general didnt really want to forgive any of them to begin with-- a tough battle with narinder but an even tougher one with forgiving and *never* forgetting, rather a new chance of "mortal" life and to never make any mistake ever again (ITS NOT LIKE THAT THEY COULD ANYWAYS CUZ THE CROWNS BECAME INACTIVE BUT FHSJFWJKF)

ALSO AHGHG SORRY FOR INFODUMPIMG,,,, I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU SAID DHSJDJWJF redemption arc for each bishop!! Itd just be odd to ship them with lamb if they didnt really redempt,, it takes many years to do that too,, relationship build ups are so important here too and and !!! HDSDJS YES. SORRY AGAIN I LOVE THIS FROM MY ASKBOX !!! 😭😭🙏🙏

Edit: (JUST REALIZING I MISREAD A BIT. Didnt mean to focus on just lambs species wiped out but that lamb slaying the bishops too was another factor like said, and lamb varies from player to player--i think its funny a bit if theyre like ironically bad but me personally i just want my own to actually have build ups, lore, complex relationships, growing into godhood, realizations, etc etc,,, so so important and its so fun to build lamb as a character too i think!! I love redemption arcs WAAH)