#any of our coworkers
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tried to reach out and make friends with my coworker by starting a conversation about tarot but we both are complete ameteurs and i am now nervous that i am the blind leading the blind
#our post comrade.#it was fun talking about it since i never really knew anyone who was into tarot reading beside my ex#and i only learned about it to try to get on their good side. but thats a long story#but now im nervous about having to try and explain what i dont really understand myself#i guess its not like i had anyone experienced to teach me. maybe girls hanging out trying to figure out how to do it is part of the fun#how'd i get here? im a proud skeptic yet here i am nodding along realizing i probably understand more about crystals and candles than#any of our coworkers
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thinking about touch starved touch sensitive gojo again. Absolutely desperate for even the most grazing touches from getou and yet overwhelmed by it all.
#anyway irl i think i just went on the most awkward coworker not date but a little too sus to just be a casual dinner#what made it sus i think was one the deliberate choice to not invite any other coworkers#and two the fact the conversation had a direct flight to our dating histories#but also im insane maybe this is Normal dinner coworker conversation IDK#IDK ANYTHING ABOUT SOCIAL INTERACTION#HE WAS MAKING AGGRESSIVE EYE CONTACT AND I WAS LIKE BRO CAN U STOP THATS A LITTLE TOO INTIMATE MAYBE WE CAN JUST LIKE STARE AT EACH OTHERS#EARS OR SMTH PLEASE?#me starring at my cat all the time until he comes over or meows#me whenever someone else stares at me: u gotta stop that i have anxiety#anyway i just crave the SOCIAL interaction of ppl who are not clinically online like i am#i wanna speak to ppl who see the sun#in hopes i may glean just a bit of normalcy from them#im gonna go read copious amounts of fanfic
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they talk about testosterone gel like it’s the fentanyl of hrt
#after u apply ur dime sized dose of quickly-evaporating gel#make sure you put on at least three layers seal yourself inside a plastic bubble and don’t let anyone else into the room#for at LEAST 6 hours#to really make sure you don’t spread any of this miracle poison to any innocents#<<all sarcasm#if it really worked as well as people warn about#dont u think transmascs and cismen alike would be slathering themselves head to toe?#aside from the possibility that someone might have an allergic reaction (i have no idea how common that sort of allergy might be tho)#i have never heard a valid reason for all the fearmongering#like. my coworker should not be scared of *standing too close* to our other *also tmasc* coworker on days he’s applied gel#you guys could sit in each others laps and nothing would happen its fine#its all a bit silly i think
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Who stole the scarf?
#chiligerart#comic#loathsome coworkers#storm trooper#vent resident#star wars#oh? the beginnings of a mini plot?? any guesses for our mysterious air vent resident?#btw my other rule has been to draw an air vent every chance I get
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In this soba eating scene, the gaga subtitles were off regarding the subject/meaning of Hiroko's thoughts.
そうそう ... 本来はこういう反応だよ ( Indeed, Normally that's how people would react )
危うく間違えるとくだった ( I almost misunderstood it )
This is important because it is essential to how Hiroko has been acting throughout this entire episode! From the moment Ayaka declared to pursure Hiroko infront of everyone, she has been gauging everyone's reaction to Ayaka's confession/actions. When the coworkers had a positive attitude towards it, it enabled Hiroko to answer positively to Ayaka's advancements and let her guard down momentarily. When confronted with a coworker?/business partner? who framed Ayaka's confession as a type of identity exploration of the youth "before they eventually settle down", Hiroko felt that familiar/what she had been expecting as the reaction to all of this from her experience in the past. This reinforced her mindset as it fed to her own biases that ultimately the world has not changed afterall and she nearly misunderstood that it was okay to be open about it and be accepted.
Ayaka on the other hand is almost blind/indifferent to everyone's reaction/opinion to her feelings as she bulldozes ahead to the detriment of Hiroko. They are both polar opposites. Hiroko cares far too much about what others think of her and subsequently of Lesbian relationships (either romanticing it through works of Yuri or not taking it seriously at all) that she has not even considered what she should do/want now that she can't avoid it anymore. Ayaka can't seem to understand why would Hiroko withdraw from acting on her feelings when she likes her and definitely needs help understanding Hiroko's worries. Even after Risa questioned her whether it was okay to say it infront of everyone after knowing what happened in the past, Ayaka did not get it.
Again, I dont think any character is particularly wrong in their actions (apart from that old man) they are all approaching it from their own insecurities or lack of it in the case of Ayaka. Not everyone will think about the major consequences of their actions before acting and some will only think of that and I love how this episode depicted it.
#this reminds me of my only coworker who is out proudly and basically established the lgbtq+ society in our organisation#he unbashedly bulldozes through anything to do with even a slight hint of discrimination/homophobia by calling it out on it loudly#leaving everyone speechless#and I work for a very large organisation in a country that any racism/sexism/homophobia is subtly done or thrown as a curve ball#but he doesn't care about acceptance - he is more this is who I am - take it or leave it type of person#i pick up on the covert discrimination but never say anything because i am very much Hiroko 😔#i really need to grow a spine#anyway I ended up joining that society but stayed in their hidden list which only the admin knows#he is my favourite co worker for sure - he is highly passionate -easy to talk to - does not mince words on anything#still loving ayahiro though#ayaka chan wa hiroko senpai ni koishiteru#ayaka is in love with hiroko#ayahiro#yuri
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jax jax my friend jax. jax is my favorite character. if i had to work an eight hour shift with him i think i would kill him
#random thoughts#if i had to work a shift with any of them i would kill them honestly#except pomni. pomni reminds me of the teen girls i work with who can't get their voice up past a whisper#ragatha is fake nice. overbearingly fake nice. i would hate her on sight#gangle girl i love you. if you were my manager i would go and run in a stream#zooble is a neutral coworker. we both do our jobs and don't talk to each other#jax is like. i as a person try to be at least not actively mean to people at work. i think jax would latch onto me#try and break me. see what makes me tick. voices all his horrible opinions at me#the amazing digital circus
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okay sooooooo I somehow got my hands on the cheese dispenser manual and apparently we're not following proper maintenance protocol as detailed in the instructions (like with so many of the machines at work tbh. WHY IS NO ONE READING THE DAMN INSTRUCTIONS)
and apparently the part of the machines that's giving us trouble is supposed to be removed, thoroughly cleaned and reattached at least once a week???? and idk if we've got a dedicated educated worker doing that in secret or if no one's read the manual and no one's actually done the proper cleaning routine ever????? uhhhhh
don't wanna be a disruptive force at work on purpose (at least not more than I am on accident sometimes oops) but I would looove to print out the manual and ask the managers about that weekly maintenance passage ngl
but the incessant need to FIND SOLUTIONS AND FIX THINGS AND DO THINGS THE PROPER WAY AND MAKE THINGS BETTER FOR EVERYONE GRRRRR
(also apparently there's kinda hidden air vents on the dispenser that need to be cleaned weekly as well???? and idk if that gets done either???? HELP?????)
#sorry. for the cheese saga. it continues.#also sorry to be cynical but if no one's following proper maintenance protocol on expensive machinery then of course things break regularly#and that's not on the staff tbh#we just do what we're told and trained to do by the more senior employees and the higher ups#it's not our fault if things break???? ugh idk it's all just a mess of half broken barely working machines and many short lived quick fixes#also kinda mad on behalf of my emotional support coworker who has to do all the quick fixes and isn't even really trained in any of it.#my weird anger at these small stupid injustices is snapping and barking and biting!!!!!!! ugh#but i can't say anything. because the boss is pissed at all of the staff for not properly operating the equipment and breaking things idk#ugh ugh ugh
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WHOEVER THE FUCK IS RECOMMENDING MED PPL TO GO INTO RADIOLOGY JUST CUS IF THE MONEY, IM GONNA FUCKING gET YOU
#first i had ai dictacting schedules and now the radiologists just thought there was a AHHGGRHHH#YES. YES U CAN MAKE MONEY GOING INTO RADIOLOGY. BUT DO NO T. JU ST. GO INTO IT. for the MONEY#MEDICINE IS FKING PAIN BCS BUSINESS IS A PAIN & PPL ARE IN PAIN & PPL ARE A PAIN#like it is Very. ppl orientated it's FKING MEDICINE and even if ure a vet or whatever theres obvs usually humans attached fo animals#so like u might not always be dealing with the ppl but ur coworkers who are also being directly accounting#for the ppl SURE AS HELL DO#like yea ppl die all the time but ure telling me u dont gaf when u couldve done something to stop a LIFE#a HUMAN LIFE that was DEPENDING ON U just doing a like tiny action in the grand scheme of ur things#but ends up a major life changer to them even if they dont always have the knowledge to recognize it#and u let them die bcs of the money#i cant fcking STANDDDDDD IT ohmy GAWD.#also like radiology is not all that hunky dory like radiactive is part of the fking name like#UGHHHH LIKE IM SUPPOSED TO BE SCOLDING MY PTS WHY TF AM I SCOLDING MFS FOR MY PTS#anyways yea tho totally just join medicine for the money it's tofally not a massive damage to u n society#but also . fuck society for making ppl feel like they only have this choice or it's starvation bcs thats also so fking real fuc that#but bro at least try not to fuck ppl over once u gain a position just bcs u happened to be in a bad mood today like#medicine is Literally. horror. it's not that 'i watch pimple popping videos haha i can handle it' horror . it's literally.#the horror of treating humans like humans while never allowed to be one urself kind of horror#it's watching a little girl crying and a big bulky father weeping like a small child bcs his wife died#&then u step out the room and a pt throws his poop at u bcs he keeps lying to u abt not having any alcohol &wants to go home but has no ride#wants a million opiods and has been absolutely wailing at ur staff and if he leaves ama it docks u so now u gotta#peruse a bunch of legal documents to try and figure out a loophole on how to get him outta here while also dealing with 60 other pts#on the brink of death or intensely septic and the whole time ure trying to save them u got bitches screaming in ur ear abt the#north carolina fluid shortage like btch fuck that im giving this kid the shit they need to survive fuck off#especially funny bcs theres fluids available but we refuse to buy them bcs theyre for a higher price than our og supplier like ok#anyways#love my life
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Listening to instrumentals from the silly doo-wee-ooo show is actually something that can be so painful.
#doctor who#doctor who music#murray gold#segun akinola#musings about music#this is specifically about 10's theme in vale decem. the long song in 11's regen piece. and clara's theme in face the raven / clara's diner#i get psychic damage everytime i simply hear the use of the motifs elsewhere because of the tragic associations those sadder renditions hav#obviously these songs aren't the only examples in doctor who but they are by far the most emotionally devastating ones for me personally#and obviously it isn't just leitmotifs either. basically hearing any piece that played during a sad scene gets to me.#how are you supposed to explain to your coworkers that you're tearing up because of instrumental sound association?#'yeah sorry these violins and humming sounds summoned vivid images of my favourite character dying/leaving and it made me sad'#love that composers can just straight up pavlov bell your emotions by getting you to associate a melody with a sad scene#an addition to this is doctor who instrumentals that make me nostalgic because I associate them with my own past#like 'this is gallifrey: our childhood. our home'. that song was one of my alarms for a good long while back when i was 15ish#so it kinda transports me back to that time in my life whenever i hear it. music really is its own little kind of time travel#i am very much looking forward to the continuing psychological damage murray gold will inflict upon me in the new season#and to have previously uplifting character leitmotifs used against me and forever be contaminated with sad feelings. love to see it#(also: not a instrumental but damn 'the stowaway' has no right being as good as it is. who knew a christmas sea shanty could sound so great#apologies for this probably niche-ish post (is it niche to know ost title's by heart? asking for friend). just feeling things about music
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Every time Prapai gives Sky medicine, he's narcoleptic inside 5 minutes.
#fun story: in 2018 we went to interview ex-president jimmy carter#and I had a bit of an odd feeling in my throat#august 24 2018 i remember that date well#because that was the first signs of an illness that annihilated me#i blacked out for most of the month of september- i only have very sparse memories#i had a strange kind of pneumonia the doctor hadn't seen before#and over those 6-7 months they threw every single anti-anything they could at me#IDK if I slept so well because of the knockout effects of all the antibiotics and antivirals#or because I had a recurring fever and a chronic brutal cough for 6-7 months and was terribly weak by the end#but i was sleeping so deeply the more pills they added#and now i know i can function with a 102 fever on and off for months on end#everyone- family and coworkers- also made fun of me for insisting on wearing a mask but guess what bitches#when the pandemic rolled around i still had 2 unopened boxes from being sick a year before and those were worth more than toilet paper#lita#love in the air#prapai#sky#prapaisky#true facts: I don't remember writing one of my own fics#it was during the blackout month and i refuse to read it because i think it's funnier that i don't know what it's about#i also had to work- it was one of our biggest events that we do every 4 years#two weeks straight of 14 hour days with no weekends#and i was there every single day#i have no memory whatsoever and when we did the event again in 2022 the organizers kept saying 'oh wow you're alive!'#i like to say i had the BEST time because it's a tedious af event and everyone is surly by the end#but from MY pov i was trapped in dense fog and couldn't breathe; trapped in that twilight feeling when you're neither awake nor unconscious#and then when it passed I had a nice paycheck in my account without any of the mental strain of working for it#watch
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dishwasher is fixed aaaaaaand onto the next crisis
#housekeeping is out of pillowcases bc when the main housekeeping worker went on vacation apparently she didnt teach any of the others how to#order or told anyone what to order and kind of just? assumed?? people would do it??#so now theres no pillowcases. and the whole hotel is booked for the weekend. :))))))))))))))#and the people from the important company were here just now to ask for information that i cant give them and mona is at an appointment rn#but coming back in 10mins and they were like 'oh thats strange how can you leave reception unoccupied' its bc our fuck ass boss doesnt hire#more people and also is shit at planning ahead#'when he or she comes back can you tell them to call us?' yes sure no problem. what number? 'you have our number' oh so just the general#company one? alright then :) we will call you right back :)#'can you tell them to call us /immediately/ please' yes of course you will get the call as soon as my coworker is back 'yes and tell them to#call us /IMMEDIATELY/ because this is very important. we have the whole hotel this weekend and we NEED some information'#yes sure of course do you also want me to kneel before you and kiss your feet like maam i just told you we will call you back and we know#youre important the fuck else do you want me to say here. shoo.
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things people irl have said they thought i would be into that genuinely offended me to the core:
hazbin hotel
the amazing digital circus
veggietales (this one is a complete read. you should have met me at 8 years old)
paw patrol (????)
#look. no hate if you like any of those i'm no bully#but if you know what about me might be giving off these vibes please let me know so i can cut that shit out immediately#our post comrade.#i actually have a theory about this: i never talk about my interests. im extremely cagey about it#so the only thing that my coworkers KNOW i like is spongebob because i let that one slip#so now theyre trying to guess other cartoons. the problem is i don't watch any other cartoons.
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I miss doing bar trivia bc now I just have to wait for something relevant to come up at work to tell people a bunch of fun facts.
#I am the fun fact coworker. I’m so shy and keep to myself UNLESS i have facts fo share#heaven help you if you mention pretty much any animal around me#if I don’t already know fun facts I WILL be reading articles about it on the clock and learning facts#our education person is so impressed with me bc whenever kids ask about the local animals I know SO MUCH#but even like. my coworkers were outside my office discussing what a mule versus a donkey was and I got to interject like.#let me tell you all about mules versus donkeys and then burros#also - could i find a bar to do trivia at here? WELL you seee *leaning forward so my lips touch the microphone*#i do not have any real life friends where i live now. and little time to make them.#and the idea of going into a bar alone sounds like. i would rather eat glass.
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not to be ungrateful but i don't get paid enough at my job lol
#the problem with jobs that people do bc they love the work is that it doesn't pay well and you will be overworked to death#genuinely couldn't quit bc i love the kids too much already but 15 an hour is....not ideal tbh....#how am i supposed to make future plans in these conditions#i cant ask for a raise ive only worked here 3 months but ugh#the only reason i got hired is i finally broke my rule abt the minimum hourly rate i was willing to accept#i applied to the two 14-16 an hour jobs and used the one i already accepted to get this one to gove me 15 instead of 14#but that's still not a lot tbh#need to buy an oven since we havent had a working one since january#and i keep gping ok next time i get paid i will buy an oven#and it hasnt happened yet#and i need.....17k to invest in starting my own business and i will not see a return on that for a very long time 😭#and i have no idea where that money will be coming from lol#fortunately its not that time sensitive except it kind of needs to happen in the next year or two probably but idk#if i dont do what i need to do idk what will happen but i think the issue will become more expensive but also maybe less expensive#but also uglier and make my neighbors mad#but i have no choice but to wait bc i have no money for that lol#anyway#17k is my immediate expense but i also need to come up with the money to eventually buy my parents house somehow#and i dont even make enough to pay the mortgage 😭#fortunately i dont need to do that for a long time but...eventually#anywayssss#how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions#i do love working with kids but jts hard work and all my coworkers are petty and hate eachother so its a lot#and i dont make enough money to live fr#im so lucky i live w my parents bc nobody at my job makes enough to live on their own lol#also the sheep that are supposed to be clearing brush got sick and went back to their farm and they're not coming back this year at all#so we need to brush hog it#or contract another farm#im not sure if its even safe w their poop all over the place snd im not getting any communication from the farmers#but it lowkey might be better to get our own sheep but thats so much work i dont want to think abt doing livestock
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sending literally all of my gratitude to Big Finish for FINISHING WHAT RTD STARTED
#broken is literally the ONLY thing that makes janto make any sense#went from i will watch you suffer and die#to hey ik we’re standing over the corpse of our ex coworker right now but what if we had sex#in FOUR EPISODES#FOUR!!!!!!#AND THEY EXPLAINED NOTHING#ianto is by far the most complicated character on that show#and they NEVER addressed it#like#how.#don’t get me started on house of the dead holy shit#FUCK#anyways.#torchwood#janto#ianto jones#captain jack harkness#big finish#big finish audio
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I love love looovvvee how people all apparently come to the same conclusion that I am someone whom they can tell things to. I have so much tea I could fill the boston harbor. god bless my coworkers and god bless whatever it is about me that makes them confide in me
#bs.txt#THE DRAMAAAAAA#and I’m just sitting here like :3#no I won’t tell any of our other coworkers#but you bet your ASS I’m telling my besties (who don’t know these people and have no impact on the situation)
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