#any errors are because i wrote this in 30 minutes lol

[my-dark-lord]

Hi! I wanted to ask, is there a way to read more about your ocs in hellaverse? I just kinda like other people ocs very much lol

Hey! I'm so sorry this is running so late, Nonny, I meant to reply sooner than this but I tend to get distracted super easily. I've got the ADHD pretty bad and in my past life I was the goldfish that made scientists think they all had five second memories.

At any rate, I have quite a few Hellaverse OCs! A lot of fankids and then quite a few surrounding Ozzie or Valentino. I've been working more with the ones that deal with Val, lately, which are mostly Darío, Ostello, and Anya!

The main OCs I have are Ostello, Anya, Darío, Ozzie's Parents (Abstemiounessa and Valore), Archangel Uriel, Leviathan, Magpie, Vick, and then a few others that I don't do much with. I also have fankids but that may be for another time.

I literally just reworked Ostello's bio and took it from 364 words to 1,101 words and updated a lot of information that had become wrong as I wrote him. Anya recently got upgraded from OC that I didn't really do anything with to OC that I'm using a lot more.

They're all on my RP blog, @e-m-p-error, though a lot of them need a little reworking. For now, I can share Ostello and Anya's info here! I've been working on them most recently. Ostello is Valentino's ex-husband and Anya is his Personal Assistant!

It's under a cut for length. Ostello's info is LONG. All art by me.

Anya

Human Name: Anya Kazlow

Name In Hell: Anya

Nicknames: Annie Baby, Yaya

Faceclaim: My/Friend’s Art

Original Universe: Mainverse

Age: 30 (When He Died); 37 Years Dead

Birthday: April 30th, 1956 (Taurus)

Deathday: December 5th, 1986

Height: 6'8"

Gender: Cis Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Bisexual Bimantic, Ambigamous

Species: Gorgon Sinner

Snake Color: Red and White

Eye Color: Pale red sclera, bright green irises

Occupation: Valentino’s Personal Assistant

Headcanon Masterlist

When Anya was alive, she worked in a veterinarian’s office that saw a lot of exotic pets owned by bad people. There were all kinds of things that she had to overlook in her line of work, including humans that had bullet wounds or other such injuries. She doubled as a nurse when she had to, and learned how to take care of human and animal injuries alike. Always having been nurturing and gentle, she was well-loved by the Russian mafia in her town in Belarus and ended up getting married to a lower-ranking member after tending to him for one summer.

She was shot on their wedding day when a rival cell infiltrated the wedding and killed as many of the people there as they could. She died holding her lover’s hand, and vowing revenge. This never came to fruition.

Meeting Valentino not long after she fell, Anya was hired on to be his PA after she ended up gentling him through an injury that he obtained in a turf war. She happened to be there at the time, and he decided having a medically minded personal assistant would be a good idea. She sold her soul to him, and being an important member of his team, she was given the golden tooth that Angel Dust and Val both had. She is in love with Valentino, but he only sees her as a friend. She’s mostly okay with this because it’s worth it just to be near him. It is her job to handle most things that Vox doesn’t handle for him. This can be anything from cast lists to work schedules to bartending if he needs someone to cover a shift. If Val needs it done, she’ll do it.

Her snakes are Frog Eating Rat Snakes, and because of this, they have bacteria in their mouths. If she bites you, it is an immediate, violent, and disgusting case of leprosy that can kill in minutes. She has only ever bitten three people, and she usually doesn’t, but she will absolutely do it if it is necessary.

Anya is very nosy and always likes to be up on the latest gossip and whatever juicy things are going on around Val. She will pry into his business while she takes care of him while he’s drunk so she is abreast of the latest drama.

Ostello 

Human Name: Oscar Lawrence

Name In Hell: Ostello

Nicknames: Tello, Baby (Valentino Exclusive), Broadway (@strangeandun-muse-ual’s Vox Exclusive)

Faceclaim: My Art/Al Pacino

Original Universe: Mainverse

Birthday: January 21st, 1899

Human Deathday: May 3rd, 1944

Demon Deathday: February 9th, 1980 (Assassinated by Val with a Holy spear)

Age: 45 (When He Died As A Human); 36 Years Dead (When Killed By Val); 80 Years Dead (In Heaven)

Gender: Cis Male

Sexuality: Homosexual Homoromantic Ambigamous

Species: Badger Sinner

Height: 6'8"

Relation: Valentino’s Ex-Husband (Widowed)

Occupation: Overlord, Pop-Jazz Singer, Arms Dealer

Headcanon Masterlist

When he was alive, his name was Oscar Lawrence. Oscar was the son of Ruth and Samuel Lawrence, their only child. Marty was his father’s best friend, his right-hand man in the fire department, and his wife’s affair partner. Oscar knew about the affair for approximately a year before his father died on Christmas day when he was ten years old. A year after his father’s death, Marty was his stepfather, and while he never held any express animosity toward him, he never called Marty his father. His mother and Marty had two kids together who were twelve and fourteen years younger than he was, and he was never particularly close to his half-siblings.

At seventeen, he had dropped out of school and gone to work in a club in Omaha. He was discovered singing one of the numbers from a nightly show while cleaning by his boss, who loved his sound and gave him his own attempt at playing a show one Saturday night. For starters, he did a few covers of things that he had heard and ended the night on a song he’d written himself. His lyrics were filled with a longing he became known for, a desire for something he could never have. It became something that was so Oscar Lawrence to long, to pine so genuinely and openly that it was impossible to separate from him. So much of his music was about barely scraping his fingertips against the thing he longed for, and nobody could ever quite get out of him what it was.

When he was twenty, he met Olivia, his wife-to-be. She fell for him, hard and fast, and he never felt much. But it was a suspicious thing for a man his age not to have a wife, and he liked Olivia enough to live with her. Oscar was rarely home, out touring and recording a lot, but at twenty-one their daughter, Gertrude “Gertie” Rose Lawrence was born. He rarely saw her, and when he was home, he was usually sad and drunk. Gertie doesn’t remember much of her dad, but his biggest sin with her was neglect. He never rose his hand against her or her mother, and he was never particularly cruel.

However, he did cheat on his wife. Often while he was on tour, he could sleep with any woman that wanted him in ways he found impossible to do with his wife at home. Like many singers of his time, he also had a stage presence on the silver screen. Much like he found many temporary replacements for his wife, he found a semi-permanent replacement for his daughter as a mentor to Shirley Temple.

If there was something as Oscar Lawrence as pure, unadulterated longing, it was a desire to run from what he did have with that same desperation.

His biggest sin in life was that he was gay in a time when that was very highly frowned upon, and it was a well-kept secret. Nobody knew about it, and he never once acted on it while he was alive.

When he died in 1944, it was a slow, painful, and disorienting death alone in a hospital half a country away from his family. His wife and daughter flew out to see him just in time to say goodbye, and he couldn’t recall who they were. He died of acute liver failure that had progressed under the radar of his manager who had been busy working him through the holidays.

Olivia sued the company for negligence that led to her husband’s death, and she and Gertie continued to never want for anything but the man whom they owed their cushy lives to. Neither could say they knew him before he died, and after they would know him even less.

Oscar sort of expected to fall into Hell, and when he did, he was unsurprised. For a few months, he just tooled around, feeling out his new abilities and appearance as a badger. He discovered early on that he had pyrokinesis and it was something of a novelty for a while.

One night while walking the streets and experimenting with it in the lonely hours of the morning, he gave a fireball too much juice and shot an Overlord on her way back from a big deal. He didn’t expect it, and it led to a huge fight between the two of them in which Ostello accidentally became the victor. It was a hard fight and when her gun was knocked from her hands, he managed to grab it in the ensuing wrestling for it. Unbeknownst to him, it was loaded with holy bullets, and ended in her demise.

Her attendants, who had scattered during the fight, came to him to tell him that he was now in charge of her territory as long as nobody else took it, and he took the responsibility fairly seriously. This didn’t stop him from pursuing a musical career on top of the weapons dealing, of course, but it was somethingi that he did want to do to the best of his ability.

Ostello, as he eventually renamed himself, became a rather beloved fixture of the Pentagram. He was hard to upset and treated his workers with dignity and respect. They were paid well, especially those who gathered holy metals during the Extermination, and he never went so far as to treat any of them cruelly.

He worked with Alastor to produce radio shows and sang live several times for him. When Vox eventually came around, Ostello left Alastor’s employ to work under a label that Vox owned. He performed for him there, with concerts and other such things, until the day he was killed. His music is still fairly popular and played in several Voxtech buildings.

In 1972, he met Valentino, and in two months married the moth. He was a devoted husband who wanted nothing more than to make his wife happy, and he spent the next eight years absolutely enamored by him. However, Valentino had never really been in love with him, and in 1980 used a holy spearhead pilfered from Ostello’s own armory to kill him.

Due to his love for Valentino driving him to be a much, much happier and better person, when he died he was reincarnated in Heaven. He dislikes Heaven very much because he misses Valentino and was reunited with Olivia. He does not know that Gertie is in Hell. He has been watching Valentino in Hell for years and is abreast with the latest things going on in his life at all times.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

How do you think worlds most loved jerk is spending his birthday? Unwrapping any punks?

Mmmm I think Bucky is definitely unwrapping a few gifts while his punk watches, eyes soft and heart fond, gentle affection seeping from his pores. I think they're together by themselves, relaxing somewhere in the woods in a cabin. Deep enough in the woods that the frost laid down over earth and plants and creatures (as they awake from winter hibernation the deeper into spring the season gets) still sparkles in stray rays of honey flavored sunshine because it never is quite warm enough to burn them away. It is only March after all. Outside the window of their rented dim log cabin, the evergreens are dark and shivering, they've got just the slightest impression of bright green- tips of new growth. Steve had just taken a peak at them and a passing red fox, sneaking through the undergrowth, ferns, bushes, and nursing logs, all wrought with plush, healthy moss, to appear in the little clearing of the yard, when he was in the process of feeding their fire. Dancing in the wood stove, emanating just enough heat for them both to dress as if it's June instead.

After his glance out into the quiet, peacefully remote wilderness and placing another log on the fire, Steve had turned on his heel, venturing back into their bedroom. The small space is cozy with thick, soft blankets piled nearly all the way up to be level with the top of headboard (even though they don't need a single one, between the two of them). And hidden under the bed is what he packed most carefully. Tucked safely into the car, under other items to be out of sight, curled up in old newspapers and tied with string that lived a double life as Alpine's toy briefly. Before holding it's special cargo proudly like it is.

Steve takes the package carefully in his calloused hands, holding it as if it weighs nothing in strong palms, his fingers thick, knuckles knotted. The sound of the paper rustling accompanies his padding feet on the old, sturdy woodfloor.

He makes his way back to Bucky and places the twine and newspaper wrapped gift in his lap, wordless. They don't need them more often then not nowadays.

Bucky's fingers curl the pages of the book he's been lost inside, the fluttering reminiscent of his gift's wrapping. He sets the book down, its cracked spine facing the ceiling, the world paused but not forgotten. Never forgotten with Bucky. He's always been able to tear through books, since before Steve can recall, memories dusty, hazy, and well-worn. Loved into oblivion. Bucky's hair swishes over his shoulder when he looks up.

Steve lands in the easy chair, flicking his hands up with a wry smile on his lips, "just open it, Buck," he says, knowing how hard it is for his husband to accept gifts and niceties. Voice warm and affectionate, not quiet a whisper but not normal talking volume.

The man in question squints at him but does as he suggests. Pulling at one of the ends of string to unwind the bow and unveil the treasure.

The string is removed entirely, brushed aside as he unfolds layers of newspaper.

Steve watches with bated breath. It's not that he thinks it's a poor gift, he's worried that it might be too well.

With the wrapping still under and partially entangling the gift, Steve's better half opens it. He pulls the cover of the scrapbook open. It's spine cracks as if it too is their age, its joints popping upon movement after lying down and resting for so long. It hasn't excised since Steve put it together months ago anyway.

Bucky's own breathe hitches, his heart kicking his ribs as he cradles the half undressed treasure.

Once.

Twice.

Three times, Bucky blinks.

His eyes don't close again, instead he stares down at his lap and what he holds. His metal and flesh and blood thumb stroke back and forth.

"Steve," he says.

Steve doesn't answer, he knows it's not something that requires an answer, not yet. He will be there to answer anything Bucky needs after he really knows what is contained, taped and artfully arranged into the old stale and specifically perfumed pages between his shivering palms. Decades pressed into nothing but paper- paper that was strangely abandoned, never used, a scrapbook that was printed and made the very year Bucky was drafted. Though all the elements that Steve added into the book are modern, this year or about there.

The book is like them. A mishmash of two otherwise unconnected, untouchable times. An analog clock and a digital clock, placed at the head and end of a hall, facing each other but not touching. They're the only ones, Steve and Bucky, who pace the hall. Back and forth. Urging each other to one side of the other.

The scrapbook is a collage of Bucky's journal entries from his days immediately following his bewildered, agonized but undescribably courageous moments breaking his bonds to HYDRA, are pasted onto the left pages; on the right pages are illustrations Steve carefully sketched and then used transfer paper to move onto the delicate paper and finished, representing whatever memory he had been piecing together. Steve carefully selected the parts that he had the best memory of himself.

Which was more difficult than anticipated, Bucky entrusted his journals to him when he finally trusted that he would remember all he had built back and it became too painful to look back. Steve wouldn't've dared to think that they would ever make it here.

But they have.

Melting to the sturdy easy-chair with Bucky on the marshmallow sofa, dwelling in a log cabin rented for the occasion of Bucky's birthday, they've made it. Time has swept them from whitewater rapids to the lazy river for the first time since sticky hot Brooklyn summers as boys, Bucky taking his smokes on the fire escape, Steve panting on the floor in a pool of sweat surrounded by pencil stubs, his creativity exhausted by the heat. There's finally enough mileage between them and the pain for Bucky to accept the gift.

Tears still build in and overflow from Bucky's smoke-blue eyes, escaping down to his cleft chin, his hands still shake, flipping gently between the pages, and he still sniffles, setting it too down while leaving it open like his beat-up paper back book but Bucky doesn't recoil into himself and he doesn't hate himself for not recalling such details. He does not wilt under the person he was, trying to un-shatter himself, then.

He instead sets the gift aside and climbs into Steve's lap. Legs over the arm of the easy chair and arms around Steve neck. Bucky buries his face in Steve's neck and shoulder, trembling.

"Thank you," he whispers, "thank you," his tears smear into Steve skin. Not for the first time. Not for the last. Steve cradles him, rocking them a touch. Kissing the top of his head as he keeps talking, "I love your drawings. I love that you helped me remember and will keep helping me, if I need it, when I need it-" he lifts his head, kissing him and saying the words right there, against his lips, "I love you."

"I love you too," Steve promises, cupping his face, thumbing the lines of his tears away tenderly, "end of the line and back, you an' me, sweetheart."

(P.S. I assume you wanted this to be horny but... I was thinking about gifts Steve might give him and then this happened lol)

[jenojaemssss]

dazed and confused

pairing: jeong jaehyun x gn!reader

genre/categories: angst, college!au, frat boy!jaehyun, a bit of fluff

word count: 3.6k (this was literally supposed to be a drabble wtf)

warnings: mentions of sex, allusions of sex yk the vibes, oh and a lot of cursing 'cause i lack the ability to keep language below 14+

synopsis: jaehyun isn’t scared of heights. he isn’t afraid of roller coasters that dropped at those terrifying heights. but he is, in fact, so utterly terrified of falling.

a/n: y’all this was supposed to be a drabble…but i wrote too much and now it’s a fic and idk how i feel abt it LOL anyways, it has not been (and will probably never be) proofread so please excuse any grammatical and spacing errors! i will now go cry with my 3 assignments due in like an hour.

~~~~~~~~

faded. drunk. confused. mentally unstable. all these words, along with maybe 30 more could be used to describe your current state as you sludge your way into a familiar bedroom at the nu chi theta house after puking up probably a lifetime’s worth of alcohol.

the god awful ringing in your ears and the throbbing of your head makes the room spin, but you’re awake enough to recognize that the room was currently occupied. before you can mumble out a string of curse words and a sorry, you particularly notice exactly who was inside the room.

you’re caught off guard by a, now pissed looking, jaehyun along with someone who you don’t immediately recognize. you realize then who’s room you just entered and mentally smack yourself, reminding yourself to rid of the habit.

the other person is hiding underneath a blanket as jaehyun does his best to cover their figure, protecting their privacy to shoot daggers at whoever was interrupting his ordeal.

it takes you a couple seconds to fully register what was happening in front of you and you scoff.

so that’s how it is.

jaehyun, on the other hand, has his eyes widened. so wide that you think there are more whites visible than the typical brown orbs. he’s gaping now, mouth open and trying to think of excuses as to why he was in bed with someone else after dumping you only 2 days ago.

in his defense, there’s no need for an excuse. the two of you were already over, and he could fuck whoever he wanted to fuck. you could be doing the same.

but you aren’t.

instead, all of yesterday and the day before, you hunkered in your bedroom, cuddled in a blanket with tissues sprawled all over your bed and the floor. you went to your classes, hoodie pulled up way over your head to shield your puffy face and baggy eyes, came home, drowned yourself in ice cream, and cried.

yet he’s here, hooking up with people after leaving you heartbroken. you should’ve listened to jungwoo when he warned you about his flatmate; about his tendencies to sleep around and leave his relationships in the dirt.

when you and jaehyun first began flirtatious interactions with one another, it wasn’t in your intention to start anything serious with the dimple-faced boy. yet one encounter followed another and you never realized how hard you were falling until you were up at 3 am smiling at messages he’d sent you the previous day.

when he asked you to be his girlfriend after about 2 months of successful dates, you were ecstatic. your mind raced back to jungwoo, correcting him telepathically. he was so wrong about jaehyun. he was the sweetest person you’d ever been with, and was so patient with you.

It even made jungwoo take back his words after you announced the relationship to your best friend.

he said jaehyun had changed since he’s been with you.

that change lasted about 4 months afterwards.

4 months of pure bliss; cute dates like picnics at 11 pm after going on drives, watching the sunset from the roof of a nearby apartment building, jumping fences into the expanses of lakes after hours.

4 months of being pressed into a mattress with jaehyun gazing down so lovingly at your writhing body. him pressing into you as your mewls surround the small bedroom. him holding you as both of you come down from your high.

4 months of falling in love with jaehyun.

all to waste after he texted you during class, saying that he needed to talk to you. at least he had the decency to not dump you over text.

jaehyun said something along the lines of “it’s not you, it’s me,” and mentioned that he “doesn’t like being tied down.” you remember nodding, emotions not surfacing until he stands up and leaves you at the coffee shop just around the corner of your dorm building.

your coffee shop. the one you two went to whenever you wanted to find the other. it was like your secret hideout, because no one from your campus knew of this place, even though it was so close to home.

you thought things were going so well, the two of you even making plans to meet each other’s parents over the coming break. but with only a few words from one side, and wordless nods coming another, everything faded to dust.

so as you stare at the man who shattered your heart with someone else underneath him, you plaster a polite smile before flipping him off and exiting the room. his shouts follow you, and you inwardly scream at him to shut up. he has no right to sound so broken at the moment.

you pass by jungwoo on your way out and he immediately notices your tense figure, trailing his eyes towards the direction you were coming from. his jaw clenches when he realizes, wanting to barge into the room and beat the living shit out of his flatmate, but instead follows you out the house.

the blaring music coming from the beaten house becomes muffled by the time you step foot outside the door, tears threatening, but not yet falling from your bloodshot eyes.

jaehyun isn’t slow to catch up with you, but is stopped by a raging jungwoo before exiting the house. jungwoo warns jaehyun to leave you alone, but jaehyun is persistent, pushing past his friend to grasp your shoulder before you could storm away from his reach.

his previous rendezvous has been completely forgotten, and all jaehyun could focus on was you. he notices how you reeked of alcohol, a hint of marijuana radiating from you as well. what he notices the most, though, was that you had a hint of his favorite perfume lingering on your skin.

before you have the chance to turn around, jaehyun is ripped from you, a loud smack following almost immediately after. jaehyun stands, one hand holding onto his pounding cheek while the other grip’s jungwoo’s shirt.

your best friend has both his hands tightly fisting jaehyun’s shirt, staring bullets into the boy’s face.

“you have no right to barge out here and chase us down after you let y/n go,” jungwoo growls. he sees red, heart hurting for his best friend. he cares about you so much. the two of you always fitting into one mold, completing each other, and every time either one of you had their hearts broken, the other would be there to fix and mend everything.

yet, he’d never seen someone hurt you as much as jaehyun did. however much you hurt, it hurt him equivalently. he knew this one was different, because the pain you felt was so much more intense than any you’d experienced before.

what pushed jungwoo even further off the ledge for him to act like this though, was that if he were to be in the same position as you, you would be doing the same thing. you’d also be doing your best to keep him from hurting himself over and over by someone who only meant trouble.

“woo, that’s enough,” you mutter out before coming to push the two boys away from each other.

“y/n, let me explain,” jaehyun grabs your arm as he says this, eyes searching yours for some form of reaction. your previously watery eyes are dry now, and the emotion that was threatening to overcome you minutes prior have all disappeared. you shrug off his hand.

“there’s nothing left for you to explain.”

it killed you, but you had to muster the strength to spit those words at the man you were falling in love with. you knew that it would have been worse if you were to hear him out.

“y/n please just-”

“that’s enough,” you whip your head in his direction, warning him with your eyes.

“but y/n-”

“i said enough!” you’re yelling now, slightly pushing the boy back. he stumbles over himself, and jungwoo takes this opportunity to grab your shoulders and tuck you safely behind his back. you had tears running from your eyes, frustrated at the tugging of your heartstrings because you’re supposed to hate him. you were supposed to be elated that you were in this situation, him begging for your time.

yet it hurt seeing him so broken in front of you, begging for another chance. it hurt so damn much, and you’re so angry at yourself for being such a pushover.

jaehyun straightens himself, looking in your direction but not quite at you because you're hiding your face behind your best friend’s denim jacket covered back.

“y/n, i just want to apologize.”

“there’s nothing to apologize for.”

“there-”

“no, jaehyun, there isn’t,” you use this as a stepping stone to emerge from behind jungwoo, who’s calmed down a bit since connecting his fist with jaehyun’s sharp features.

“don’t talk. let me finish,” you raise a hand before he could get another word out of his mouth. he shrinks a bit, but his eyes focus on your figure slowly approaching him, letting you know he’s listening.

“there’s no need for you to apologize for whatever you were doing because we aren’t together anymore and you can sleep with whoever you want. i don’t care, it’s none of my business. you don’t have to apologize for me walking in on you, because again, none of my business anymore.” you take in a deep breath before you continue.

“if you were going to apologize for breaking up with me, there’s no need. what’s done is done,” you whisper. you feel a huge lump form in your throat. you do your best to swallow it, along with your pride, and smile up at him.

you can’t really read him, but you can tell he’s in thought. you continue.

“if you were to apologize,” you began, sniffing up the snot that’s beginning to trickle down your nose. you probably look like a mess, but you could care less. you needed to get all of this off your chest. you wouldn’t have any other opportunities, so might as well do it now.

fuck the fake smile. fuck faking it til you make it. this is so much better.

“you should be apologizing for making me believe you were sincere with me,” you continue. jaehyun’s eyes go wide, and you notice the slight, subconscious, shake of his head. you proceed.

“i shouldn’t have believed it when you said i was different. fool me once, shame on me. but you continued to make me believe that i was different.” jaehyun opens his mouth, but you give him a look that shuts him up completely. he needs to fix that habit of always wanting to interrupt.

your ramble continues. “you should be apologizing for lying to me when you said you wanted to meet my parents. we set up the date and everything, and they were actually looking forward to meeting you, but now i have to tell them you aren’t coming,” you speak as calmly as you can. anything related to your parents always makes you ten times more emotional in every situation, and this was taking somewhat of a toll on you.

“you should be apologizing for making me feel special all the damn time. you made me believe i was the only one for you and that you were the only one for me. you made me feel so fucking foolish after you left, you know that? i thought we were doing so well, and you just left me in the dust after being so fucking vague. what do you mean ‘it’s not me, it’s you?’ it makes absolutely no fucking sense,” you’re almost hysterical now as you let everything fall down your face. you’re still eye to eye with jaehyun, and he looks taken aback by your declarations that he’s rendered speechless.

your next few words are what makes jaehyun’s world come crashing down.

“you should be apologizing for making me believe you were falling in love with me too,” you whimper. you’re full on sobbing now, and jungwoo assists you from falling to your knees.

it takes jaehyun a couple moments to register what was happening, a couple moments to fully comprehend what you were saying; what you meant.

you were so broken because you were beginning to love him. and he let you go.

“i’m..i’m-”

“leave, jae. do it when i’m asking nicely,” jungwoo’s low voice echos from your spot on the ground. your shoulder shake with every sob you’re letting escape you.

“jungwoo, let me fucking talk, okay? stop interrupting me every damn time while i’m trying to figure things out with y/n. this was our relationship, not yours!” he’s yelling now, and jungwoo shrinks. he knows he’s stepping over the line, but some things reach a limit, and jaehyun is reaching his.

“yes, i know y/n told you things, but did you know that i used to wait after classes when the weather turned bad just to make sure y/n wouldn’t be walking home in the rain? always forgot an umbrella when it counts,” he chuckles the last line, eyes teary.

“did y/n tell you that every single time my phone rang, i was internally wishing that the name popping up on the screen would be ‘lovely’ and no one else’s? i always wait for your calls, you know,” he directs it to you this time. “they always made my day.”

you raise your head when you realize he was walking to you. when you see his tortured expression while reminiscing his feelings for you, you suddenly had the urge to run up to him and wipe away the tears falling from his handsome face. you hated that that was your first thought, though.

“did y/n tell you i was falling too?”

you tense at his words, and jungwoo scoffs.

“if you were falling, why did you break things off?” the words leave your mouth before you had the chance to stop them. your mind was running a mile a minute because in what world did it make sense for jaehyun to dump you when he claims to be falling in love with you.

“i was scared,” he finally mutters after a couple seconds of painful silence.

“what is there to be scared of, jaehyun?” you’re standing now, jungwoo completely baffled at the interaction taking place in front of his eyes. he realizes then, that maybe jaehyun was telling the truth.

jaehyun was scared of falling.

jungwoo recalls all the times jaehyun has been in an actual relationship, but can only remember one other time that he actually introduced someone to the boys as his. all the others were just casual flings, where they'd be slipping out the door before anyone could acknowledge their existence.

when he broke things off with that past relationship, his actions were similar to the ones he’s portrayed the past few days. silence in his room instead of the typical blaring music from his sound system. a shocking decrease in teasing his housemates. jungwoo even noticed that he didn’t see the dimples on jaehyun’s face as frequently.

the one other person ended the same way, jaehyun breaking it off about 4 months into the relationship, saying he didn’t like being tied down.

he didn't like being tied down? he doesn’t like...shit, what a fucking dumbass. he’s scared of being in love, jungwoo realized.

“that’s what you meant,” jungwoo states his epiphany out loud and he stands up. he brushes off any dirt from his pants and begins to walk towards the house, knowing that whatever happens on the front lawn would heal more than harm.

you look at your best friend in confusion, but he plasters a grin on his face and looks in your direction before turning to jaehyun. “you need to stop being such a wuss.” and he’s back inside the house.

“it seems like everyone’s mission is to cut me off today, and it’s getting a little aggravating,” he tries to joke and you just stare at him in silence. he takes it as an, “i don’t care, just talk,” and begins his tangent.

“i broke things off with you because i was scared,” he begins. you follow his words with a nod, emphasizing that you’re listening to the man standing across you.

“i’ve never been in love before, and i didn’t realize how-how utterly terrifying it felt. i was close one time, but i broke things off before anything else could develop because i didn’t think i was ready for it. i felt like i was incapable of love for a while because of my stupid frat boy image, you know?” you nod in response to his rhetorical question and he begins moving towards the small bench sat on the lawn. you follow suit and sit yourself down a good distance away from him.

he talks again, this time sounding more regretful than anything. “i sometimes tell myself how idiotic i am because i let them go before. if i just had the balls to accept the fact that maybe i was falling in love, i wouldn’t have to see them roam around campus a couple months after with someone else.”

you remember briefly jaehyun’s previous relationship. it was the talk amongst your campus because the jeong jaehyun was in an actually relationship with someone. and people were making bets on how long they thought it’d last. same as they’ve been doing for your relationship with him.

“it all kind of got to me without much of a warning because like, shit, falling in love with someone meant checking your phone every 3 minutes cause you’re scared you missed their call, or calling them if they took too long to assure you they’re home safe, that kind of thing,” he smiles. “no one teaches you that.”

you chuckle dryly because he hit the nail on the coffin. no one tells you the details about being in love, only mentioning the feelings and not the irrational things you’d do for them.

jaehyun continues after he assures himself that you’re listening to his words and internally heave a relieved sigh. he was scared you were going to have things come in one ear and out the other.

“at the same time, if i kept them in my life, i wouldn’t have met you. we wouldn’t have developed a relationship, and i wouldn’t have began to fall in you,” he scoots a bit closer to you, and you let him.

“and you wouldn’t have broken my heart like this,” you retaliate and he physically winces.

“ouch. you’re not wrong though,” he smiles, dimples reappearing on his face.

“get to the point, jaehyun. it’s cold as fuck and i don’t have a jacket,” you complain when he’s silent for a little too long. you’re holding your arms now, hit by the frosty air. when he’s silent for another moment, you look up from your feet, ready to complain again. but instead, you’re met with a hoodie being pulled over your head and you’re stunned.

“when i said i was cold, i didn’t mean for you to give me your hoodie.”

“well, too bad,” he smiles widely. the hoodie smells like him, and you take in his scent. the sweater was a bit larger on you, so you begin to roll the sleeves up, pulling your arms out of the sweater paws.

“as i was saying, i realized i was falling in love with you and i was just- i don’t know, i was scared. i think i’ve said the word scared like 10 times today, but what other word is there?” he chuckles. you do the same.

“so i did what any other sane person would do and dipped. i ran away from my feelings because in my brain, it was the best thing to do. and i hurt you in the process because i was being a selfish asshole, and i’m sorry,” he finishes, you assume. as you’re thinking about how to respond, he catches you off guard with something you never thought would leave jaehyun’s mouth.

“oh, and i love you. i’m sure of it,” he declares.

and you’re crying again. as intoxicated as you were just 30 minutes ago, you swear that in that moment, you weren’t drunk on the drinks or faded from the j’s, but you were intoxicated by jaehyun.

the way he’s looking at you, the way he’s smiling at you.

he stretches out a hand in your direction, asking for your permission to take your own and grab his hand in response. his hand engulfs yours like a hug, and he intertwines his fingers with your cold ones.

“so does this mean you love me back?” he questions.

you nod, because you can’t think of anything else to say. you’re so utterly in love with him that you’re rendered speechless, you fool.

“and does this mean we can start over?” he asks, hoping for another nod.

instead, you speak. “why were you fucking someone else when i got here if you’re in love with me?”

jaehyun is now the one rendered speechless and gulps before answering. “have you ever heard of heartbreak sex?”

“isn’t that supposed to be with the one who broke your heart?”

“yeah, but if we had sex, i would only fall in love with you more.”

“and you don’t want that?”

“i do now,” he smiles.

you roll your eyes and say nothing.

“i’m sorry i hurt you.”

“you better be.”

“i promise i won’t do it again.”

“next time you do, i’m chopping off your dick in your sleep so you won’t be able to go have heartbreak sex with someone else.”

[secret-time-is-here]

We're nearly halfway through AEJ! So I figured I'd share the fun facts I have collected about the chapters.

[Everything is below the cut, I have a lot of notes down...]

[Any spoilers have been marked as REDACTED]

[Each mention of a chapter is linked so you can easily reference it-made this post take longer to upload but makes it much easier to go through.]

[When the series is over, I will rerelease this without the REDACTEDs so you can get the full facts]

TW: AEJ does talk about abuse and that is reflected in the notes of some of the later chapters. Abuse unfortunately is a major part of one of the main character's backstory(Nightmare) and while AEJ is off of canon and deviates from canon often, I wanted to keep this element to stick to Nightmare's true character.

Chapter 10

If you didn’t figure it out, the flash of a memory of a younger Dream holding another skeleton is pre-apple incident, and the other skeleton was Nightmare.

Chapter 15

I’ve always had the headcanon that Ink has a magical Tome enchanted with REDACTED. I love Ink’s infinity tome, it also has a search option so Ink can look up a keyword or exact journal date if he needs.

Chapter 20

The memory Error kept having was of cuddling with REDACTED

Core never meant to tell Error about his future partners, I didn’t either. But in the end it added more mystery and some joy/hesitation on Error’s part.

Error only refused to believe Ink was another one of the 4 for plot purposes lol

Chapter 25

I never intended to have Error’s middle name/study of religion to impact the story at all, while writing the chapter it came to me as the perfect motivation for the story and to set some canon things into place.

Error was never intended to befriend Ink or Dream as Lapse D. Mode.

I added Cobalt last minute into the equation to set up later events, and REDACTED

I never intended for Error to mess around with Dream as much as he did that chapter, but it allowed me to bring Dream more into the plot since-despite being a main character-he wasn’t supposed to be a main plot point until after chapter 50ish

“You pique my curiosity” is Dream for “I’m kinda crushing on you but I’m gonna pretend I'm just curious about your motives and want to learn more about you as my enemy.”

Error didn’t put together the Dream and Nightmare came from the same world because while Error and Ink have a shared balance and similar powers-they don’t come from the same world. Also Nightmare hid that part of his past because he’s tired of being in Dream’s shadow, and hid everything that even hinted that he was connected to Dream. Even though his accomplishments-however dark they may be-overshadow everything Dream does, he’s still fearful. Nightmare has also never said the name of the AU he came from.

That old professor at the college that wrote the book on Dream was Error’s religion professor. Error had to write a paper on the book and knows it cover to cover. It was his professor’s greatest accomplishment. (I did outright explain this part in chapter 33)

The hint of yellow on Dream’s cheekbones reminded Error of REDACTED

Error didn’t have an answer because he doesn’t know how to explain it quite yet. He felt like he had to keep destroying, so he did. (This is REDACTED)

Chapter 30

Core’s office, Room 1510 is the numbers for the letters AEJ

“Cafes?”“Tick tok, Error” Core knew Error would eventually open his cafe, “The Outsider” and very subtly cemented the idea in his mind for when Ccino would bring it up in Chapter 45.

Error purposefully called Dream pretty boy again to try and get the same reaction-which he did. Dream didn’t pay it much mind because he has a lot of admirers, and while he didn’t expect it-he brushed it off like any other compliment he got.

In the meeting room REDACTED

Sapphire avenue was named by Lust, who knew the library cafes and Universities were going to be built there-and wanted to name it after Sci, and the first thing Lust remembers about Sci is his glimmering Sapphire eyes. If they had lasted longer, Lust would’ve taken him there. (I did later out right say this in chapter 42)

Ink’s office being 1504 is an easter egg to his birthday being on April 15.

The pebbles and rocks on the bracelet chain on Broomy Jr. are from REDACTED

Chapter 33

The one who made Dream’s scarf and the scones is Nightmare.

Dream only ever refers to Nightmare by name or they because Nightmare has made it clear he wants nothing to do with their shared past, and refuses to acknowledge any of it-even their shared birthday.

Nightmare is also fully transitioned and Dream is still having a little trouble with it.

Chapter 34

Cross’ blunt statement for the year had been calling Killer out for being an absolute hypocrite in monopoly(Killer had been complaining that someone had to have been stealing his money when he wasn’t looking-but he had been doing that to others when they left the room. Nightmare had been returning the stolen money when Killer wasn’t looking. Error had watched their game from the couch and just kept quiet when Killer asked if he knew who’d been stealing from him.)

Chapter 35

The nickname for Lapse, Eldeem, I thought up on the spot, but it’s terrible and such an Ink kinda nickname so into the canon it goes.

Dream and Nightmare are 506. Although based on technicality they are mentally closer to 520.

Ink is roughly 800, although he rounds it closer to 700 because REDACTED

Error is ridiculously close to 1000, somewhere just under it.

Core outranks everyone in the multiverse being REDACTED

Chapter 37

The person Dream’s soul belongs to (“My soul will always belong to another… I would never even dare try with someone else until I talked to them first about it.”) Is Nightmare. Dream feels practically soul bound to him, since they never officially broke up. For the past centuries he thought Nightmare felt the same about the situation-hence why he was so upset over learning Error and Nightmare weren’t just together now, but also had been together in the past.

Chapter 38

I wanted to fill in the holes of Hearts’ story, and also bring up Cobalt again so REDACTED

Chapter 39

Core is 1000% up for validating Nightmare. It’s a very small chance of happening, but REDACTED

Core has directly influenced Nightmare’s life twice, and directly talked to him(to influence his life) twice, the second time was telling Nightmare of Cross.

Core has also directed Cross’ life a good deal, which makes sense considering REDACTED

While a heartbreaking chapter and was difficult to write, I think Nightmare’s past and what he went through shows his character greatly. Yes he tends to hide things-even highly important things, but it's always for good reason.

I’ve headcannoned for some time that Nightmare is missing a good portion of his skull, thanks to Error’s help he later fully accepts what happened to him and stops hiding his shattered skull. (I hinted at this in my 300 follower lil' special project)

Sci went to Dreamtale because of Core, who told him he was needed and to simply trust Core on this. Nightmare is unaware that Sci was told to help him. Sci is the closest thing Nightmare has ever had to a Dad, and while Sci was certainly surprised the first time Nightmare referred to him as Dad, Sci was more than happy to accept the role. Nightmare is hesitant in actually calling Sci his Dad to other’s in fear for Sci’s life, and also because he knows Error would push him to tell Sci they’re together and he’s not quite ready to deal with that mess yet. (Sci would be very supportive to learn of their relationship, the mess I’m referring to is Sci going full Dad mode and asking why Nightmare didn’t say anything sooner-asking when they would get married/soul bound/if kids are an option. All the fun stuff parents typically ask when learning about their kid’s relationship.)

By Dream and Nightmare’s first battle, Nightmare had been full transitioned-thanks to help from Sci-and Ink had long gotten used to Nightmare being well, Nightmare.

Nightmare is currently working in the background of the chapter to find a way to get his old aura back. Most of the books in the library he has are from Reapertale Alphys’ library, he spends a good portion of his time researching for any cure to his corruption-despite how much it helps him.

Nightmare has a familiar but I didn't get the chance to mention them :P

Nightmare doesn’t remember it, but the spell he cast on Dream happened right before he blacked out again. It was barrier magic, and being unpracticed at the time-he accidentally made a barrier of stone around Dream.

Chapter 41

REDACTED and sometimes people in the multiverse get deja vu because of faint memories of the previous timeline spilling over. REDACTED

Chapter 42

When Error pulled back from the Antivoid, REDACTED

I’ve always headcannoned Dream to be vegan, and I love the idea that Blue runs a farm in his spare time and it’s completely free range and the animals all pass away as happy as they can be.

“Perhaps one day, if my partner’s could offer something similar, then I would leave.” The similar Dream is referring to isn’t the actual structure or the small cabin feel, but rather the memory’s and comforts he has in the cabin. He has no reason to leave it in his mind because nothing else gives him such comfort. To him, it doesn’t matter that he has to take his baths in the creek nearby or constantly buy ice for his icebox, or even that he has to painstakingly repair the house after each winter.

“And it seemed that their friendship blossomed into something bigger. Something of mutual understanding.” Error can understand not wanting to leave a place of stay, having clung onto what he considered the comforting absence of any stimulus that is the Antivoid. He understands what Dream’s feeling in that moment, even if Dream doesn’t know it. They can silently connect over that feeling and grow closer together, the simple sentence being a much bigger confession of weakness. Dream a war hardened God with next to no earthly possessions and no more close friendships then the fingers on one hand has this one weakness-his home in Dreamtale.

Chapter 43

Error’s realm was originally meant to be the Antivoid-as hinted at in Chapter 10, but I liked the idea of his own realm much more.

With the new context of realms being connected to the soul and mind-I’m surprised no one realized(or if they did, didn’t mention) that Grimm’s character is suddenly made much deeper than he once was. Since Chapter 10 of the series, I’ve told everyone that Death’s realm is a barren dark place. Everything is dead. He had to bring things(his crows and vultures) outside of the realm in order to fill in that empty void of a landscape. Now, Death subtly shows that since being with Dream and Ink, his realm has begun to show signs of life again. The grass is greener, plants are starting to grow, small animals have returned(think about what that could symbolize in terms of emotional and mental stability). Losing Geno/Error did affect him greatly. During his time with Geno it was a flourishing forest. Now it’s a dead wasteland with the only trees being dead twigs that would snap with the weight of a feather.

Chapter 44

“A simple few missing lines of code. Nothing unusual and something he had seen in worlds for years.” It used to be unusual, and that was before REDACTED

Ink’s clinginess was an early hint to their recent breakup. Death has his job and Ink wants to be strong for Grimm and doesn’t want to appear clingy, he feels comfortable with Lapse and isn’t too worried about losing them, so they happily cling to them to help cope with being near Dream after the breakup.

The flash of memory was of REDACTED

Ink wearing the nightgown and switching to more feminine clothing is an early hint at REDACTED

I like the idea of Skeleton’s generally being Genderfluid/Gender neutral and wanted to bring it up as canon for the series :} (it also adds extra flesh and color, so to say, to the motives of Dream, Nightmare, and the village-along with how Dream treats Ink and why Killer wants to protect Cross from Dream. Nightmare is fully aware of skeleton history and despite technically not being one-he’s largely treated and seen as one so he wants to correct the delusional idiots out there. Nightmare is the one who taught Error and the gang the proper skeleton history. There’s very little mention of wingdings and nothing that teaches the language-so that’s why Nightmare doesn’t know it despite researching skeletons.)

Chapter 38 hinted at Killer liking Cross, and Cross somewhat returning-along with Horror and Dust’s background relationship, but I figured I would out right say it to make it clear, and also build stronger connections to Error and the gang.

Killer didn’t want to talk with Nightmare about it because it involved Dream.

I did not plan for Cross to also be trans in this too, but thinking about it Cross gives me serious nonbinary vibes, plus it adds more fuel to the plot and motivation between Killer and Cross. (Also I love the idea of Killer joking to Cross about Cross using xey/xem and then Cross actually wants to try it and enjoys using the pronouns. Also Cross does frequently internally and sometimes externally curse XGaster for being this close to detail when it comes to him-it actually wasn’t XGaster that programmed that in at all, and the multiverse has a slight chance of changing his programming to trans after he becomes an outcode.)

Error’s shit eating grin at Killer’s confession is because he knows if he pesters Killer enough, Killer will either accidentally reveal his lie or out right say the blunt truth of whatever answer he’s been dancing around.

Chapter 45

Error was making milk in hopes of going back to bed, but after seeing Dream awake he said fuck it guess I’m playing Main Character early today and made coffee instead.

Dream doesn’t think he deserves help, he wants to change, yes, and he wants to learn how-but he doesn’t think he deserves it. Every relationship he’s considered important he believes he’s/literally has ruined. First Nightmare, then Ink and Death which affected his relationship to Blue and he also assumes Lapse. (Error just accidentally muted Lapse’s phone again and has forgotten to check it, oops.)

With the new context of it having been 489-nearly 490 years since the incident, I alluded to the death of the village and Nightmare/Dream’s God birth(when they became Gods) being when they(Nightmare & Dream) were 17/nearly 17. Keep in mind Nightmare and Dream when they were created already had the mind equal to that of about a 16 year old and body of one as well, but actually counting from creation to incident is roughly 17 years. So that's how when Nightmare's abuser's are younger than him at the start but seemingly grow to be older than him(becoming adults when Night was technically 17)-since Nightmare's story is based off this technicality.

The village didn’t have a schooling system, and by the time they did Dream was much too old for it. Dream has seriously considered trying for schooling, but being a God and dealing with the multiverse heavily impedes that.

Error and Nightmare both have a lot of Degrees, Nightmare learned on his own over the years and after Error was brought back to sanity Nightmare helped him learn.

Error and Nightmare were never meant to teach Dream and build that connection with him.

Nightmare is about a head shorter than Error, but Nightmare doesn’t let it stop him at all.

I LOVE the headcanon of Error coming to own a cafe for general outsiders and unwanted. A place that anyone-even the annoying God of Creation and feared God of Death can enjoy, along with any Underlust monsters and “darker” AUs.

“There are plenty of moments of your immortality that you’ve forgotten,” Error has spent a good 800 years of his life immortal, and I specifically had to say moments because the memories that Error will relive from his immortality are just that. Moments. Completely unlike any of his other memories-only pieces of them are actually important and those pieces are spaced out across a good 500 year period.

[sohoharlem]

Since I don’t know exactly how many anons are involved in this and who exactly is who, I'm posting this as a post. This is also mainly directed towards the anon who I was responding to yesterday and then deleted some asks. 

DISCLAIMER: Me calling you “babe” or “angel” or “mam” is not me being sarcastic. I actually talk like this in real life lol.

Here we go.

Hey Babe, its Soho here. 

Let’s start on a blank page, okay?  I want to start from the beginning here. I wish there was an easier way, but this will have to do. Let’s talk about the story from the beginning. You were there so you know what happened. Let’s recap.

Let me just start off by saying that I worked up until 4:30 yesterday and I was very tired. Exhaustion leads to human error. 

1) I had an ask sent to me asking about my impression that I got from Sebastian Stan after meeting him. I answered them saying he was a nice guy.

2) You (or maybe someone else, there are multiples in this situation) quoted the anon in your ask and said 

“Meeting him one time isn’t gonna prove that he’s a good person. His actions since last year show what kind of person he is, and it’s not good.” 

Can I first of all say say I COMPLETELY agree with this statement? 

3) Because of my long day, I accidentally thought that response that you wrote was in response to me MEETING him to which I said: 

“I just described my experience, I know nothing else since I don’t know him personally lol” 

Do you see the “lol”? I wasn’t being nasty to you, and I REALLY DID think you were talking to ME. I’m sorry if you thought I was being snippy or sarcastic. I swear I wasn’t. 

So you can see why I answered the way that I did. I don’t know what other way I would’ve or should’ve responded since I thought you were speaking to me, okay?

This is where it got mixed up. I don’t know if you think I was insinuating something with what I said, but I was not. I was answering thinking you were speaking to me. So I admit it, that I DID read your question wrong. But again, up until this point in time I did not know that yet. I thought you were speaking to me.

4) You quoted my above response and you said:

“I was talking to the anon. Thought that was clear.” Okay. Great. Seriously. (again, not being sarcastic or snippy)

I then responded with, “No, mam, it was not.” 

Now, when I said this, I did NOT mean it in any negative way whatsoever. I call EVERYONE mam. It’s how I was raised by my mother. I was showing you respect. I’m sorry if the way I worded it sounded like I was being nasty but I was not, I can guarantee you. I even call Tri mam, you can ask her yourself. All I was saying is was that it was not clear to me. I didn’t think it was important that I needed to justify or explain further details as to why that I had a long day or add extra unnecessary words like “i’m sorry I had a long day” and I read your ask wrong. It was my fault, Okay? I then finished my response with:

 “Anon to anon. Previous ask”  letting the other anon know you were speaking to them. I respected that you were talking to them.

I saw absolutely no issue in the conversation you two were having. 

It was what came afterwards that had me confused as shit.

After all this went down is when I started getting asks calling our FAQ page “dumb” and calling me “a fool” because I disagreed with you (or you guys). Even though I had no idea what we were disagreeing on? I deleted these because these are BULLYING comments. Okay? You also sent an ask before that saying that I was “deleting asks because it didn’t fit [my] narrative …” and you went on to talk about Sebastian and Alejandra, which I have no idea where that came from. I was very confused. I was not mad at you and I had nothing against you, babe. Absolutely nothing. I only deleted it because of the hateful words you were using. Hence my post last night reminder our readers to please refrain from certain phrasing. That’s ALL.

So two things I would like to settle with you first. I want to settle this and lay a solid ground for me and you.

I understand why you sent those asks if I look at the situation from your POV. There was obviously a misconception and misunderstanding. Like Tri said, tone can be interpreted different on the internet. We read something and it can sound totally different than how someone intended it. Now this is me taking fault: When I responded to your ask yesterday, and you were talking to the anon, I read it completely wrong and thought you were speaking to me. Even then, I did not, I repeat I DID NOT, mean anything double meaning with what I said. I’m a face value girl, there is no secret meaning to my words. I’m not a bitch. I did think you were speaking to me, anon. I had a long day at work and was extremely tired and read your ask wrong. Human error. When I wrote both my responses to you, I was not saying it in a sarcastic way, or a rude way. I swear I was being polite to you. You read it in a tone that was completely different that what I wrote it in. I wrote them with a smile on my face. You misinterpreted my tone and words. I did not write them in a tone or with a double meaning. I sincerely apologize for the misunderstand we had and hope we can move on from the fiasco.

I would like to address when you (again, or you guys, I don’t know how many people I’m talking to here and don’t want to offend any of you) started mentioning Sebastian and Alejandra and this double Narrative thing, I only deleted it because there was a certain word in there that I did not appreciate. 

But you know what?  I’m going to do you a favor tonight. This is for you, okay? So we can put all this behind us. I did delete your ask, but I screenshot it before I did so, because I was going to use it in a next post with others that came in and answer them as a group. This one of the ones that I felt was okay to post. So I’m going to quote your ask that I deleted below and I’m going to answer it for you. Okay? 

Again, this is me showing you that I want peace and a truce.

Your ask that I deleted and should’ve answered straight away. This is also to prove we do NOT stick to a narrative:

“Odds are you deleted that ask because it doesn’t fit your narrative. It’s clear that you guys excuse Sebastian’s actions time and time again with your apologist attitudes, whether it be excusing his hypocrisy or excusing this situation because it’s a PR relationship and Alejandra is the culprit. Stop with the misogyny. This is the 21st century.”

My answer to you:

First of all, 

When me and Tri made this blog, we vowed to never follow one narrative. This is a place where people with multiple opinions can come on and discuss without the fear of feeling judged. Second, Me and Tri do NOT excuse Sebastian’s actions at all. We DO NOT approve his traveling during the pandemic nor the scandals he has been involved with the last year or so. It’s why we cut back majorly from his fandom. We DO NOT excuse anything he’s done. He’s a grown man. He knows what he’s doing. He is not being forced and he should not be babied. When I answered my above ask when I said “He did not seem like a bad person when I met him. He’s very kind and shows respect” it was because someone asked me about my experience from meeting him in person for a few minutes, they were not asking how I felt about him NOW or about his traveling or the race issues and all that stuff. I absolutely do not excuse his behavior. Again, he’s a grown man. He knows what he’s doing. He’s not being forced into anything. Right? Right. 

Look, the point is, wording your question the correct way is KEY. You might come to learn that we, me and you, have more in common than you think.

Please take this as a truce. I’d be more than happy to address any other doubts you may have.

And to other anons who I deleted your asks, I’ll be taking a different approach instead of deleting them right away. If I get anything I feel reluctant to post, I will make a comment on here first as to why it’s being evaluated. Okay? 

Love you all so much. And I'm sorry for this misconception.

Thanks, 

- SH

[josaeul]

Love Confessions PT 1° BTS

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☽: Pairing: BTS (OT7) x Female Reader / First Person

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☽: Au: Momentary High School Au! Yandere !

☽: Word Count: 30K

☽: Chapters Here: 13/(Currently)26

☽: Summary: It didn’t matter that you didn’t know them, it didn’t matter if you had your own plans; it did matter if you didn’t return their love.

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☽: A/N: Hi, I’m Dio/Ado! I used to have another tumblr account where I originally published LC but it soon became more of a “personal” so I took it down, while I didn’t publish chapters here I did publish up to 26 chapters in other platforms, so instead of publishing 26 1k-3k words I meshed them all together into 2 parts, as of now the story is still ongoing so there will be more than 30 chapters (my original estimate). If anyone is wondering, this fic has been ongoing since the 7th of July, 2018 and has been on-and-off in the works, mainly because I’m still in high school and it’s h a r d to have a schedule when you’re swamped with hw. This is edited but there may be spelling errors and bad usage of full-stops and commas where they’re very wrong (I mainly speak, not write in english lol that’s why I’m better verbally speaking than writing) but bare with me; english isn’t my first language!

Because this fic is so damn long, especially here on Tumblr where I decided to mash up some chapters, I’ve added a key for the recommended rest/stop place! It’s this  “____ღ”, this is where the original chapter ends!

________

It’s been going on for ages ever since I moved back here strange notes have littered my locker everyday. Love confessions as a matter of fact. They made no sense, the situation made no sense they weren’t written by the same person but they were written by the same group of people. Honestly, at the beginning I found them to be quite cute they were written with such fondness it made my heart flutter. It was clear they were written with care, each word delicately being chosen, that time had been spent crafting each. But as more time went on they became more aggressive, possessive, threatening and even demanding. Still, these people continued to declare their love but showed strong aggression towards my friends and family at the same time. The notes started to include personal information, from where I lived to what underwear I had been using that day. I suddenly felt unsafe like my safety and life was being analyzed and used against me. Suddenly wasn’t just notes soon there were eyes following me too and in those moments where I felt eyes following me as I walked around the schools' hallways, I hid on the rooftop where I knew that this stalker, or stalkers, would leave me alone. Or at least for a moment or at least I thought so, I hoped.

Today I was clutching my bag tightly as I made my way behind the gray wall of the roof, where I’d hide whenever I felt those eyes following me around, one that was meant to keep us away from the storage room, and failed to do so, when suddenly a girl, probably a few years older than me, walked in followed by a fellow student; a boy. And the boy was none other than the one and only Jeon Jeongguk. Seeing his stupidly handsome face made me scowl, I quickly hid behind the wall and listened in to hear what was happening I didn’t want him to think of me as a loner that couldn’t make any friends other than him because I could.

I knew Jeongguk we were actually best friends when I first lived here. We’d go everywhere together, the park, the movies, we’d also go to each other’s house so often we had the others’ clothes and some belongings there, it had gone to such a point where our parents began planning our wedding. At the time the thought of marrying Jeongguk made me cringe because we were best friends but now just the thought of breathing the same air as him made me want to cut off my oxygen intake and just suffocate a slow and painful death. In other words; I, [Whole Name] [Last Name], hated Jeon Jeongguk with my life.

He became the embodiment of what he, we, used to hate. So coming back home to Jeongguk version two felt like I had lost a friend, a part of me and I did. Jeongguk forgot completely about what we had, about me. He became cold and he distanced himself, started hanging out with the ‘cool kids’, or whatever. I don’t care at least not now. I could make new friends, I could act cold, I could ignore him and I did. But did I want to? No, not really. But at the same time, if this was Jeongguk now, I don’t want anything to do with him.

At the beginning when I had just come back I did my best to become friends again but with how he was acting and seeing him act like such a dick made me want to beat him up, he had completely forgotten and ignored me, he didn’t even spare a glance my way. The only time I’d go to his house now was when Mrs. Jeon, his mom, invited me to help her cook and try to bring us together again. But every time I went there he’d either ignore me or throw insults at my face, and after that he’d just stare at me for the rest of my stay there.

The last time I went was over a little over a month ago and it was solely to take the things I’d left there when I was younger. I did my best to go when I knew he had football practice so I didn’t have to meet him. That day I made sure to call his mom to get her to lend me her keys something she happily did at the end of the day I was [Family Nickname] the girl that helped their shy son and became his first friend. I took with me some boxes, I don't remember exactly what or how much I left, but whatever it was I was taking it back. Jeongguk had made it rather clear he didn’t want anything to do with me so I made him a favor taking back my stuff back. The minute I stepped foot inside the house I noticed a pair of my favorite shoes there, I probably left them there when we said goodbye so when I came back I could leave with my special shoes, how cringy. Mrs. Jeon probably left them there they looked so clean as if someone had just bought them, I could imagine her cleaning the shoes everyday. Laughing a bit I took the shoes and placed them in one of the boxes I had brought, maybe Mrs. Jeon would miss them but Jeongguk wouldn’t. As I made my way to the living room, everywhere I went something was there. My old portable game console, a few books I had been looking for, some random hair ties, those looked too childish to be from Mrs. Jeon and I don’t think Jeongguk would use hair ties either, some toys, and like that I found bits and pieces of my childhood everywhere, it felt nostalgic and to some point my heart ached. And it all went into one of my boxes, so by the time I had walked all the first floor all traces of my belongings had left and all that was left was the second floor,  I had filled up the of one of then cardboard boxes I had brought, I still had two left and one that I had brought full of his belongings he’d left when we were young that my mom had kept just in case he’d need them back. I made my way up to where the rooms were I noticed how the only one that had my old stuff was Mrs. and Mr. Jeon’s and Jeongguk’s bedroom, the guest rooms and Junghyun’s room where practically bare with no traces of the family, much less me. His parents' room had a few pictures and a few tacky drawings me and Jeongguk had made, those I didn’t touch, I even noticed how in her dresser Mrs. Jeon still had the bead bracelets I made her. But the room that shocked me the most was Jeongguk’s, his room was filled with my stuff and I didn’t know if two boxes would be enough for all of it. He had stuff from pictures of the two of us to even my old plushie I brought with me when we had sleepovers, just to name a few that stood out. He kept it all and I didn’t really know how to feel. I snapped to my senses and quickly took all I could fit in my boxes and as I did a big part of me felt weirded out. Why did he act like he hated me so much if he kept all of this, it took me over all almost an hour to clear his room but it felt right, no pictures or plushie; no [Name]. He wasn’t going to be reminded I ever existed now. Good, I didn’t want to be remembered by him. I took the box I had brought myself and left it neatly on his bed, quickly wrote a small note explaining what I had done and why. I didn’t apologize, why would I? He erased himself from my life emotionally, and even went as far as avoiding me, so might as well say physically too. I was doing the same thing, but as I took out my boxes and walked back home I couldn’t help but feel guilty and empty. After that I ignored the Jeon’s. I didn’t go to their house, only waving to them when we stumbled on the supermarket, didn’t really pick up their calls leaving my parents to do so, only going over if I knew my parents or someone else I knew was going too. Basically never. I had erased them from my life; but most importantly I erased him.

If only I had seen how Jeongguk reacted to seeing all his collection gone.

So, seeing him now being dragged all the way over here probably for a love confession made me cringe and hard. Seeing your ex-best friend being asked out definitely felt weird. And I felt a strange pang in my chest as I looked at the girl, her name was Sakura and she was cute. The different kind of cute I was, I mean am I even cute to begin with? Maybe that’s what his ideal type is, the opposite of me. Why was I being so damn petty?

As they walked towards the railing of the roof I pressed myself closer to the walls, I didn’t want to get caught somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be, much less by Jeongguk. Plus, as wrong as it was, I wanted to see how it turned out. As much as I say I hate him, he still played a part in my life, a part I wasn’t about to truly forget or replace.

The girl shyly fixed her hair behind her ear as she spoke, she took her time probably nervous, “W-well, Jeongguk... I know you must get this a lot...”

”Oh god, please hurry up!” He exclaimed impatiently. God he was such a dick.

”Ah, ok! I like you, a lot. I know you’ve dated prettier girls and I may not be the best but-“

”Cut it, will you? I don’t know you, what even is your name Sana? Sinb? Sarah? Look, I guess you’re not that bad, but come on, me? Please, don’t waste my time like this, this is unnecessary.”

”Wh-what?” The pretty girl choked out, I wasn’t really looking by now having seen enough but I could tell by her voice that what that dick said hit her hard, sure those are insults someone would have thrown around in second grade but still, pouring your heart out for it to then be rejected in such manner must have hurt. I had never been rejected, but I could only imagine the pain.

“Are you fucking stupid? Look,” he started, “please get lost and refrain from contacting me ever again.” Ya ou could hear the smirk in his voice as he spoke and I bet all my money that as the girl left running she was a crying mess and I couldn’t blame her I was close to crying too, just where did Jeongguk go. I know people change, especially from fourteen to seventeen, hell even from ten to eleven, but the changes he went through shocked me to the core.

I sat waiting to hear the door open and close to indicate he had left too but it never came. It seemed he was staying out there, he didn’t walk either he seemed to be standing in the same place. I thought he had fainted, a pretty good thing if I wanted to run away without confrontation, or something until he burst out laughing. The sound of his laughter was psychotic, it started out quite but it grew to the point I wanted to rip my ears off. No one had told a joke and nothing funny had happened, if anything the scene that just played out was quite sad, especially since I had been in similar shoes. So then, why was he laughing. I pressed my back tightly against the wall and pushed myself further away from the edge. His laughing fit didn’t stop though. It became even louder. He laughed so hard he fell on the floor, the sound of his knees making contact with the ground bounced all over the place accompanied with the sound of him hitting the ground in laughter, he sounded demented.

After a few seconds of this the laughing stopped, but again the sound of the rooftop door opening didn’t come much less the sound of him standing up. Now the only sound other than the wind and soft rain softly passing through tree leaves was the sound of him crying and speaking through broken sobs.

”I didn’t do enough, didn’t I? Of course I didn’t”, he screamed, his voice sounded constricted and forced, “Why won’t she love me! I did everything Namjoon told me to do... everything!” He began shouting towards the end of his mumble. He clearly wasn’t stable, at least not now, and it broke my heart to see him like this. Who was Namjoon? Did he make him act like this? Perhaps, was it student council Namjoon? Was he somehow responsible for the strange change Jeongguk went through? I mean, he holds enormous power considering he’s just the president of the student council, I mean, he’d been in this school for such a long time but no student has that much power. He was to graduate soon, his class was the first to graduate since the extension of high school education from eighteen to nineteen-twenty, he was older than many of us but that was no reason for him to hold that much influence.

Yet the poor boy kept on crying and I couldn’t listen to him anymore. Not even the sound of the rain could really drown his sorrows out. I was disappointed in him, and I had no idea why he was crying, but either way he still had a big spot inside my heart and I felt weak hearted, and I did what I had told myself countless time I wouldn’t do. I stood up, picked up my bag and made my way towards the broken boy.

As I stood a few feet in front of him I could feel my heart break slightly, it looked worse than what it sounded. His shirt was soaked with tears and rain, his nose was runny, I couldn’t see his eyes as he covered them with his hands. I walked slowly towards him and he finally seemed to hear me and the weight in air as he went stiff, losely growling as he spoke, “How long have you been there?”

But unlike his voice, his body shook slightly as tears continued to fall from his eyes and down his cheeks. I felt awful, he still was my Jeonggukie. Scared of what others thought, shy and a cry baby, a dummy, impulsive, and reckless, to name a few. He was still my Jeongguk. That’s what I wanted to believe now, would it stay like that though?

“A-ah, shit,” I froze before blindly speaking whatever came to my mind, “Jeonggukie, please don’t cry, uhh, you’ll make me cry too!” I cringed realizing that I had used the ‘special’ nickname I had with him with the technique I always used on him when we were younger so that he’d stopped crying. The nickname wasn’t special anymore, it seemed like all the girls in this school used it on him, but still I could silently pride myself on being the first one to call him that. And that technique wasn’t going to work, he was older now and he hated me, didn’t he?

“Bunny?” He asked shyly, he slowly let his hands drop from his face as a small blush took over his features. Maybe, just maybe, he still was my Jeonggukie somewhere deep down.

Finishing the few steps I needed to be by his side I crouched down to his level, and brought my hand to caress his hair softly, we were getting soaked so I try and cover us with my school bag. Slightly humming as confirmation that it was indeed me, and after him looking over me fast as if to confirm that it was really me, he threw himself at me and I fell on my butt from the force, we were now in the shade of a roof as I hit my back against the wall. He quickly hugged me and immediately began crying once more.

”[Name]! I’m so so sorry if I made you mad or hurt you, oh god, don’t tell me I hurt you!” He began blabbering as he cried harder. What happened to him? Only a few minutes ago he was being the biggest dick to a sweet girl and now he was crying and apologizing to me?

“Jeongguk, what happened?” I tried to ask but he refused to listen and opted to continue apologizing and not letting go. He wasn’t as scrawny as he was when he was younger, he was actually quite *big in comparison to me so pushing him away was out of the question. So I opted to silently embrace him. We had spent such a long time like this that we both ended falling asleep and missing class. Not that I cared, I was happy being like this. I could never be mad at him forever.

By the time I had woken up, I expected Jeongguk to be gone because it was either A) a dream or B) he regretted what he did and decided to be a dick again if not an even bigger one. But to my surprise I woke up to a big pair of doe like eyes staring up at me from his position on top of my chest.

“Bunn,” he began, his voice husky from just waking up, “I’m sorry if I upset you, I know you went up to my house and took your stuff back, I almost had a panic attack when I noticed your things were gone. I’m so sorry if I was ever a dick to you. I-I just love you so much I’m scared I’ll hurt you.” He whispered softly as he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, blushing slightly I stare away from him.

”I love you too, Kookie. Don’t worry about anything, ‘kay? You’re always going to be my best friend.”

If only I had noticed how his eyes seemed to have darkened at the mention of best friend.

That day, Jeongguk walked me home. We went up to our lockers, and I was surprised to see one less love note. Today, there were only six. I expected Jeongguk to ask me about it, or ask me if I knew them, but he if anything he seemed more interested in me arriving home safely.

That night was the first night I received a letter inside my house. Freaking out I quickly open the letter only to find out my suspicions were true.

——☽

Our dearest [Name],

We are all very happy to know that you have finally accepted your fate to be with us. It is on our best intentions to tell you that it will not be long until we are reunited again.

In the meantime, we wish you do not engage in any form of relation with any male or female other than the ones you already engage with. If you do happen to break this wish, we are sorry to tell you that we will be forced to deal with the source of the problem very similarly with how a gardener does; take out the malice from the roots. All that we ask of you is to stay put and wait for us as we will come when the time is right.

Meanwhile you wait and we prepare it all, we will be keeping an eye on you at all times. Do not fear anything as we will take care of it for you.

We will meet again but for now,

Goodbye.

-BTS

——

_____________________ღ

——

It had been less than a week since me and Jeongguk had begun hanging out again. And as nice as it felt it also came with this overwhelming feeling whenever he was around, he was too clingy. He’d be there always, and if he wasn’t he’d be calling me or texting me.

He had been doing the latter all day. He said it was his way of saying sorry and that if he could he would’ve come over. And at that, I didn’t know what was worse; him calling me or him being here.

It wasn’t that I wasn’t grateful that we’d finally be able to hang out like we used to, heck yes I was, it’s just not like this. I didn’t like the feeling he brought with him whenever we hung out; it was just like at school. But instead of eyes, it was actions and words.

Who knew words could have such an effect on somebody?

They knew.

The people that have been leaving the notes on my locker knew. I had no idea why, but after a while of this strange occurrence, I started collecting the notes. It became a habit of mine whenever I was bored to try and decipher or try finding patterns in them. And today seemed like a nice day to try, everyday seemed like a nice day to try if it brought me closer to stopping these creeps.

I had turned off my phone. Giving Jeongguk a quick text saying I was going to study so I couldn't have my phone on, liar liar. I had decided to try and analyze the notes, do something with them at least.

And the best way to do so was to go to the beginning.

I decided to paste them to a small notebook I had laying around, so I just had to flip a few pages to find what I was looking for.

The first note, and it happened to be signed by Suga.

It was rather short but heartfelt, and the first time I read it I couldn’t help but blush furiously. It went like this;

”My muse,

I’ve been loving you for a while now, you know? My heart skips a beat every time I see you, and it starts creating a new melody for you, its eternal muse.

All I can do is hope that when our time comes to meet, you help me create the most beautiful symphony for us.

Until tomorrow and forever,

Suga”

Even now, the thought that someone like me was able to inspire someone with such a way for words to create music made my heart skip a beat. But this ‘Suga’ boy wasn’t as sweet as he introduced himself as, slowly I saw his transition from a love struck boy to a sick pervert. Especially on his latest note, which by far has to be one of the creepiest;

”My dearest muse,

What exactly do you think you’re doing? Talking to those no life like that, letting them flirt and touch you. Are you that lonely that you’re willingly letting anybody touch you?

I’m the only one allowed to touch you, perhaps there are few times were I’m allowed to do so but I treasure them intently.

Next time that happens I’ll make sure to cut their dirty hands off and burn them to ashes, so they never bother you again. I promise to send their ashes to you soon.

I  don’t like breaking promises, darling.

Whatever happens remember that I still love you.

With eternal love,

- Your loyal servant, Suga”

Reading the note over and over again I couldn’t help but think that I should go to the police but as quick as the thought formed it had to go away. If it was true that they were watching my every move then I couldn’t risk going to the police because who knew what they’d do, they already knew where I lived and so they must also know my family and friends too. I wasn’t going to go around and risk them unless it got too dangerous.

Time had flown by the window, and by the time I finished reading all of Suga’s letters it had already turned dark.

”Ah, I must’ve skipped lunch and dinner...”, I mutter. I wasn’t surprised, actually, it happened very often where I’d be so caught up I forgot about time. Today was no exception it seems.

Everyone in my house, except for myself, were out for the next week. I wasn’t worried about being by myself, neither about the stalkers since from what I caught on they seem more keen on keeping me out of harm, strangely knowing that they were there and would try and keep harm away from me made me worry less about the dangers of being by myself, though a recurring theme on their letters was taking me away when the right time came that was going to be easy to avoid; I just wasn’t going to give them the right time. I’d make it impossible for them to take me until I could be sure that I and my family could be safe, then I’d go to the police. That’s the plan, the best case scenario.

Deciding that it was enough blabbering to myself, I try to cheer myself up and go make some food. I wasn’t going to make some Gordon Ramsay premium meal, fuck that shit, I’d just go for one of those 5-6 minutes microwave dishes or whatever.

As the dish sat in the microwave I decided to turn on my phone, and not to my surprise Jeongguk had bombarded my phone with texts and calls. Even though I wasn’t surprised, it didn’t mean it didn’t creep or worry me out.

We hadn’t even been around each other for a week and he already was slightly getting on my nerves. I was going to have a talk with him about respecting others privacy.

I open the messenger app to find texts after text from Jeongguk. My chest slightly hurt, since when was he this dependable?

——☽

Jeonggukie

Hey i’m gonna be studying so i’ll have to turn my phone off (>o<) :ME

Jeonggukie: okay (^o^)!

Jeonggukie: it’s fine just text me once you’re done!

Jeonggukie: gtg team needs its’ golden player again

[sent at 1:16pm]

Jeonggukie: YOY O Y OY O!!!!

Jeonggukie: Why haven’t you texted me bakc?

Jeonggukie: *back

Jeonggukie: are u mad @ me??

Jeonggukie: Σ（ﾟдﾟlll）

[sent at 1:23pm]

Jeonggukie: wait.... don’t tell me you’re actually mad?

Jeonggukie: fuck,

Jeonggukie: gtg again for practice but by the time i’m back you better not be studying anymore and be online with me,,,

[sent at 2:34pm]

Jeonggukie: [Name]...

Jeonggukie: Are you ok?

Jeonggukie: You’re not hurt right?!

Jeonggukie: Oh fuck....

Jeonggukie: What if someone took you?!

Jeonggukie: What if someone HURT you?!

Jeonggukie: [Last name] [Name] you better text me right now or else I might do something we both will regret....

[sent at 4:20pm]

Jeonggukie: [Name]...

Jeonggukie: I went over to their house but,

Jeonggukie: They told me you weren’t with them...

Jeonggukie: They also didn’t know where you are...

Jeonggukie: Or if you’re with someone

Jeonggukie: So then the question is...

Jeonggukie: Where are you Bunn?

Jeonggukie: They didn’t tell me :(

Jeonggukie: Will you tell me?

Jeonggukie: :(

[sent at 5:37pm]

Jeonggukie: They told me they didn’t know but I know they’re lying!

Jeonggukie: So I took care of them!!

Jeonggukie: Aren’t you happy?!

Jeonggukie: Awww, but now I’m dirty :((

Jeonggukie: Your prince can’t be dirty can he?

[sent at 7:43pm]

Jeonggukie: i still can’t find u tho...

Jeonggukie: you can’t be still studying... actually you may!

Jeonggukie: idk BunBun, it seems weird to me u never did this before....

[sent at 7:56pm]

Jeonggukie: u know what!

Jeonggukie: I'm going over to your house!

Junggukie: and if you’re not there or with someone else...

Jeonggukie: Kookie is going on a man hunt ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

[sent at 8:00pm]

——☽

What the hell? What was he going on about? In all honesty I was curious, but I didn’t want to find out. The more I thought about what Jeon had texted me, the more it confused me. Thoughts mixed with illusions, and facts mixed with theories.

What if Jeongguk was one of the note writers?

It seems so far fetched, I mean how did I even come with that conclusion, but it also makes so much sense. If he was one of these creeps then- no, he couldn’t, but then it could explain his weird behavior. My gut feeling was hysterically telling me to block him out of my life but...

Heck, [Name] stop it, you’re mixing up reality with fantasy and making life more difficult than what it should be. I did my best to push the thought away, but it somehow always found a way to linger in my mind. But there’s no way Jeongguk would be stalking me, we had barely even reconciled. I had been so caught up in thoughts that I hadn’t heard the front door opening, and by the time I did the intruder had already made their way to the kitchen. Tensing up at not only the arrival of the intruder but also at the obnoxious sound of the microwave announcing itself ready, I jump slightly when a hand pats my shoulder to then engulf me in a hug.

”Bunny! Oh my god! I thought someone had hurt you!”, Jeongguk pouted, “Why didn’t you answer my texts, [Name]?”

Feeling uncomfortable I slightly push his hands off me but to no avail as he continues holding me tight.

“God! Jeongguk, I told you I was studying! Not everyone can get A’s without working!” I try to sound as true and confident as possible. If my assumptions were true then any false move could mean hell for me.

“Ah, Darling you flatter me!” He joked, “but don’t go around thinking like that, don’t tell me someone told you the opposite?”

Fuck, why is he acting so weird! Who even asks these questions? This wasn’t the Jeongguk I left. He’s meant to get these thoughts away not confirm them!

“Jeez, Jeon, it’s nothing I promise you. This test is very important to me and I can’t risk failing it” I try to reason with him he was acting unreasonably right now.

“Mhm, is that so?” He questions as he lays his head on top of mine, “Then it’s decided. Tomorrow I’ll take you to a friends house so he can teach you, he’s really smart Bunny!” He laughed a bit.

“Haha, really?” I ask slightly disheartened.

”Yeah, his name is Kim Namjoon, do you know him by any chance?”

Hell fucking no, he couldn’t be talking about council president Kim Namjoon, right?

“The-the council president?” I gulped, please no no no no no no no no no no n-

“Yes, you’re not that anti-social, Bunny.”

Fuck.

——————————☽

[Earlier || 3rd p.o.v]

Jeongguk was freaking out. You hadn’t answered his text for a while now. You couldn’t be studying for that long, right? You normally always had your phone with you so then why weren’t you texting him? Had you met someone better? Did you meet someone better? Even after all he did for you? He changed so much because of you and you were paying him like this? It was clear to him that you wouldn't be studying for that long.

No, it wasn’t you, it was probably some pesky friend of yours keeping you away from him, let’s be real you love him so why would you ignore him.

Jeongguk didn’t like that at all.

Maybe what he was going to was harsh, but it wasn’t like it was his first time doing this for you. But he couldn’t do it alone.

He had gotten so anxious and scared something had happened to you he began shaking. With the anxiety eating him away he shakily dialed the number and waited to get his call to get picked up.

”Namjoon, I need help with something”

It had taken Jeongguk and Jimin little to no time finding out where your ‘friends’ were.

”Does she really have to hang out with people like them?” Jimin asked Jeongguk, accentuating them. It was clear that the boy didn’t approve of the people you hung out with, why couldn’t you hang out with him instead? He was clearly better than these Joy and Lisa girls.

”Oi! It’s not my fault none of you had the balls to hang out with her before.” Jeongguk snarled at his older friend, they made you happy, why was Jimin questioning you?

“Well, why don’t you grow a pair and hang out with her then?” Jimin mocked, he knew why, they all knew why.

”Oh shut up you burnt piece of-“

Just as Jeongguk was about to throw a punch, the front door open and out came your best friend, Joy.

Confused she started at the two boys and asked, “Jeon, Park? What are you two doing here?”

Jumping slightly, Jimin offered her a charming smiling as he pushed Jeongguk's’ hand away, “Aw! Joy you caught us! We were just wondering about [Name], and since you two are friends we thought we’d come and ask you!”

It didn't make sense to Joy why they’d come to her house when they could’ve texted he, much less when they could have directly asked [Name]r.

“Why didn’t you call me then? It would’ve been easier...” She trailed off.

“We didn’t have your number!” Jeongguk smiled.

Liars, they did have her number and she knew it, how else would’ve they invited her to those parties. That’s when she noticed why it felt odd.

“Well, how did your know where I live” She questioned further, they weren’t acting like usual. Joy never liked them, to be honest, she always found them weird but this was on another level.

”We checked the school records, silly!” Jimin laughed, he was starting to get annoyed.

”What are talking about? Stop acting so weird!” She shouted, who would go that far to know where someone lived!

Plus, the school records had her dad’s house not this one!

”Atta, girl!”, Jimin smirked walking towards the girl, “You haven’t been answering any of our questions and it’s getting annoying..”

”Where is [Name]?” Jeongguk butted in.

Shaking her head slightly she tried closing the door on them, things were escalating quickly and she didn’t like where this was going.

”Stupid girl, where is she?” Jimin asked harsher, she was taking too long and he wasn’t sure how much longer he was willing to put up with her. Jimin was a patient good boy but when it came to you he couldn’t wait, he wasn’t going to wait.

”I-I don’t know now leave me alone!”

Oh poor Joy!

—☽

It had taken the boys a few hours but eventually she broke, everyone brakes eventually.

But sadly, it was true; she didn’t know where you were.

And now the boys had spilled blood that shouldn’t have been spilled.

”Look what you did Jeongguk!”, Jimin scowled as he dragged what he hoped and looked like the leftovers of a girl's arm, “Now we have to clean this whole shit up by ourselves, you little bitch. ”

The younger boy had been given the task of taking out the heavy load as he had been the one responsible for this kill.

“How many times do I have to tell you she wasn’t, and still isn’t for your fucking information, picking up my calls or responding to my texts!” He shouted from outside, it was true. While Jimin was busy trying to coax out information about your whereabouts, Jeongguk had been repeatedly calling you.

“Be grateful we actually got useful information about [Name] or else I would’ve told Namjoon about your breakdown.” The eldest of the two threatened as he glared at the younger boy.

They had been cleaning for a good hour when they realized they still had a shit more to clean, deciding to call for help, they patiently sat at the dead girls house as they roamed through a box of momentum’s Joy had of her and her friends.

And to their luck, she had a few pictures of you. They had passed the rest of the wait there going through her stuff trying to find anything about or from you, which they did. In their eyes, they hit the mother load.

They had been so caught up by the box and it’s content they hadn’t realized their friends had arrived.

It was like the two boys were there with you! Gushing at the thought they searched further and further in the seemingly never ending box.

“Kook, we need help if you want to burn the evidence, I’m afraid you’ll need to-“, Namjoon started but his voice drifted off as he took a better look at the box in the youngest hands, “What’s that?”

”Ah! Just a box Jiminie and I found at the girls house, if you look closely it has a lot of stuff from [Name]!” Jeongguk exclaimed happily, hell yes he was proud of himself, he means, how many times can the others say they found anything remotely similar to this?

”Are you sure there’s nothing else like that in the house?” Namjoon asked again as he took a look through the box, maybe there’d be something, anything that could help get closer to you, help him get closer to you.

”Don’t know...”, Jimin trailed off, “maybe we can search while we finish the place up.”

And that’s what they did, four boys; Namjoon, Jimin, Jeongguk and Taehyung went through the house searching for anything that could be of use to them. But to much of their dismay, they didn’t find much.

Clearly pissed Namjoon mercilessly threw the lighter at the house setting the building ablaze. Without even looking back, he made his way to the car and patiently waited for his friends as they watched the building burn.

After a while, Jimin and Taehyung suggested Jeongguk to continue searching for you. And so the youngest did, texting you about going to your house he asks his friends to drop him there.

As they watched him leave the car Namjoon calls out to him, “Kook, we helped you with your little stunt but now you have to help us, you’ll set us up with her somehow, ok?”

A little nervous, Jeongguk just nods. How is he supposed to set you and the other three up? Turning around towards your house he sees the lights on, you had to be there. Scolding himself for not checking your house earlier he invites himself in, not really caring if you wanted privacy or not.

Because why would you want to be away from your groom?

———☽

[Present// 1st p.o.v]

After leading Jeongguk out of my house, after agreeing to take his stupid study lessons with that Namjoon man, I can’t wait to go to sleep.

Taking a quick shower, I throw myself at my bed only to be met with the odd feeling of paper against my chest.

Terror courses through my veins as I slowly sit up from a lying position. Oh hell no, please no. Fully sitting up, I stare in front of me to find a pretty, slightly crumbled, white envelope with a pretty heart sticker in the middle.

How did it get here? The only other person who came here was.... Jeongguk. But when did he come inside my room?

——☽

Our Dearest [Name],

We are happy to see that you keep the notes we give you!

It shows how much we mean to you, of course you will never understand the extents we’d go for you. You will soon learn how to truly accept us as your future lovers.

It does sadden most of us to see you only read Suga’s letters, in the other hand he was beaming. Tell us, darling, do you read the rest of our notes like that too?

We hope.

Anyway, we are glad that we will have an opportunity to get closer soon, and we trust your feelings will come to light soon too.

With Love,

-BTS

———☽

_____________ღ

The fated day had arrived, and I was now heading over to Jeongguk’s house for our study session. I was terrified. I didn’t want to meet Jeongguk, not now that this awful theory had planted itself on my brain, and I definitely didn’t want to meet Namjoon.

Kim Namjoon, face of an angel and a personality Satan himself would be jealous of. He was student council president. At the beginning he was a sweetheart, he tricked all of us to believe him to be one. He was despicable, using his powers to his advantage to remain on top of the social hierarchy at school. Even if it was just school to some, he saw it as an opportunity to climb his way up in society now. Hanging out with the kids whose parents were CEO’s, treating them with respect and giving them what they wanted. And excellent grades, working extra credit every day and following the rules like a bible. And just like that he had managed to secure himself job offers from big companies at the age of eighteen and a half, he had enough offers that he could get fired from each one everyday for years and never be jobless. But to keep such a picture perfect image some dirty work needed to be done, of course his hands wouldn’t even budge as he always had someone else do it for him.

He was so wicked and corrupted the Devil himself was afraid.

I was shaking throughout the whole drive, my legs began moving by themselves and it suddenly felt like I wasn’t in my body anymore.

“Gran, are we close?” I asked, my voice breaking at the possibility of only being a few minutes.

”No, baby, the road we normally take closed so it’ll take us a while longer put it half an hour? God, why do things like this happen at the worst times?” Gran commented, she was right. Why do the worst things happen when you least need them to? Was there a need for balance? Did every time something good happens something bad had to contradict the previous events as if to remind you that ‘hey this is real life not a movie, so bad shit happens, deal with it’.

Sighing I tell Gran that I’ll try sleeping the rest of the trip off, maybe it’ll take my mind off things, hopefully I won’t dream surely they’d be nightmares.

But sleep wouldn’t take me, thoughts about what could happen, whether it be due to the nonsense that my brain had come up with or not wasn’t clear to me, the thoughts haunted me and sleep seemed farther and farther away.

So for the rest of the car ride I just stared ahead of me. I counted clouds, the number of red cars that passed, how many people would wave back at me if I waved, how many dogs were on the street, I did everything to not be reminded that I would drown in the five hours without parental supervision next to a former friend and potential stalker and a student council president sociopath.

Closing my eyes I let out a sigh, maybe if I don’t speak about anything personal and just focus on studying it’ll go faster.

——☽

By the time we had arrived at Jeongguk’s house I was almost an hour late. And knowing from experience Namjoon didn’t like it at all. My friend Irene, the head of our club had told us stories about the boys’ ill temper. Approaching the driveway, I fumbled with my book bag and silently prayed that some stupid shit happened to Namjoon and that he wouldn’t be able to come to the tutoring session. But whatever deity is up there seemed to want to fuck me over and went out there and made him wait for me outside. And damn did he look pissed.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck- I pissed Kim Namjoon! I had unwillingly and unknowingly pissed Kim Namjoon, and now here he was death glaring at my car.

I didn’t care that my grandmother was driving me, fuck that, what I did care was what Namjoon could and would say. His presence was enough to invoke fear and terror and plant it in my chest.

Getting out of the car I ask my gran to pick me up earlier, “Grans, I know the session ends at six, and it’s now one but please for all that’s good pick me up at five or maybe even earlier? Make anything up, that you needed me for something! I don’t know like, help with the tv or whatever, please! I’ll do anything!” I begged her.

”Why? Weren’t you and that Jeon boy friends?” She asked me curiously, she didn’t exactly shoot down my offer yet I knew that did I say anything wrong she’d probably pick me up at ten out of spite.

”Used to, we got into a fight and I don’t want to stay with him too long, I-please.”

”Fine, fine. Just text me and I’ll come before but no matter what I’ll pick you up at five okay?”

Nodding viciously, I thank her and bid her goodbye. I had an escape plan now if things went south, and if I grew uncomfortable I could text the girls, now all that’s left is actually going through with the study session.

“Ah! Hello [Name], it seems you finally showed up!” Namjoon says as he stands up to shake my hand, I don't know if he’s being kind or just being a sarcastic prick, but at this point, I don’t care, I needed this to go faster, so fast that it’d seem like a dream, a horrible and awkward dream.

”Oh yes, the street I normally take was closed due to a house fire nearby” I try to excuse myself.

”Oh yes! I heard it was quite brutal, it seems they also found a dead girl there, I think she went to our school, Park Sooyeong or Joy does it ring a bell?” He asks faking concern, why do I think he’s faking concern? Maybe it was due to the way his eyes twinkled with wonder when I asked him what he meant, maybe it was for the joy laced in his tone.

“I’m sorry, what?” I laugh, tears gathered around my eyes as I tried to understand the wicked grin that sat in his face, why couldn’t he have told me differently, not so vaguely and so disinterested probably because he knows she was my best friend, because she’d always cause him trouble, because she was different; why? Joy, the thought of her dead made me start bawling my eyes right there. She couldn’t be.. dead? She had called me yesterday to make plans to hang out next weekend. Her happy voice haunted me, there’s no way.... Why hadn’t anyone told me before? Was she the only one dead? Or did her mother and sister die too? Why wasn’t it on the news? Or had I been so selfish that I didn’t check properly?

”Shhh, [Name], it’s okay! You’re safe,” Namjoon whispers as he pulls me into a hug, from what would I be safe? I didn’t care and my grip on his shirt tightened, I wanted to pull him away, “They won’t hurt you, they’d never hurt you.”

Who?

Who was he talking about and why was he so certain. Suddenly something clicked in my brain, something Jeongguk said the rooftop that day.

”Why won’t she like me! I did everything Namjoon told me to do.... I did everything!”

Namjoon. He had something to do with Jeongguk acting weird, and now here he is not worrying about the death of somebody but me? Jeongguk and Namjoon. They did hang out together, did they not?  Nothing made sense anymore, and I didn’t know what was real or fake. It kept getting mixed up in my head. What if Jeongguk and Namjoon are working together?

“What are you talking about? You make it sound as if it was a serial killer, this town is safe why would a killer be loose?” I ask, I needed to get as much information out of him and Jeongguk as possible. But there is no way he’ll believe-

“Oh, haven’t you heard what I said? They mutilated the girl, it has to be someone experienced with murder and getting away, I mean if you looked at the news you’d see, they found pieces of the dead bodies all around the street, there were footprints of five to four different shoes and sizes, unless the perpetrator had many different sized feet then it’s clear that there were more people, at the very least four. It’s even said that whoever mutilated the body, even if not being a doctor due to the way the bones had been sliced, was someone with experience.” He stated matter of factly, but it just didn’t seem right to me. What news? No news station had reported any of this. My grandma had the news on as I got ready and no news about this had been displayed at all, and how would these things get out to the public? Different shoe sizes, what were they going to do, measure everyones’ feet?

But before I could ask any other question Jeongguk came out rather excited for our study session. I think this is the first time since coming back that I’ve been glad Jeongguk showed up.

In my head this suddenly this wasn’t just a study session, this was my opportunity to figure what the hell was happening, not only to me but to Joy and the town.

——☽

We had spent three hours studying and I still had no progress on my new mission. And it honestly felt like hell. I sighed slightly as Namjoon kept on rambling about Newton’s laws of motion, acceleration and pressure. I knew this stuff, not to a cup of tea but definitely more than what Namjoon seemed to think I knew.

He suddenly stopped though, maybe my sigh wasn’t as discreet as I thought it was and he looked at me straight in the eyes without saying anything. Finding this a bit creepy I look over to Jeongguk, who had been unusually quiet, to find him staring at me with the same intensity, let’s say for lack of better wording.

Feeling utterly uncomfortable, I excuse myself to the bathroom only to be grabbed by not only Namjoon but Jeongguk from both wrists, not letting me stand up properly. It was a horror KDrama scene. I stumbled to the floor and gasped, what the hell?

”Uh,I need to go to the bathroom? Can you, like, let me go?” I question, what the fuck are they doing?

”Don’t-don’t take too long, Bunny!” Jeongguk says blushing as he retrieves his hand waiting for Namjoon to do the same.

”Y-yeah, we-we still have a lot to cover!” Namjoon tried to cover up his embarrassment by bringing up more work, fuck him for that.

”Yeah, I’ll keep it in mind...”

I hurried to the bathroom with my bag in my arms and pull out my phone. I hadn’t used it all day, too scared about seeing my inbox flooded by texts from Jeongguk. As fast as I could I open the messenger app and tap on our friend group.

——☽

NO LIFE’S AND THEIR MOM LOL

Nini♥︎: omfg, did you guys hear?

[Sent at 12:57PM]

Lalalisaaa🤟🏻: yeah, i didn’t believe it

Rosie🌹: my mom sat me down and told me

Rosie🌹: i haven’t cried this much in ages

[Sent at 1:34PM]

Mom-rene💖: who’d do this?

Seulgi bear🐻: I heard they stole the friend box she had

Seulgi bear🐻: like, the one with pics and stuff about us?

Wen-Wen💙: the one she did with us when [name] came???

Seulgi bear🐻: yeah, it’s gone

[Sent at 1:35PM]

Chicken🦆: so you’re saying someone broke into joy's house, burned it, killed her all for a box??

Yerim💜: who the fuck would do that that’s sick as fuck,,,,

[Sent at 1:45PM]

Seulgi Bear🐻: ok so you know how my dad works at the police station???

Nini♥︎: yes

Yerim💜: seulgi......

Seulgi Bear🐻: they found the box

Mom-rene💖: what?!

Lalalisaaa🤟🏻: with all of the stffu

Lalalisaaa🤟🏻: *stuff

Seulgi Bear🐻: now, don’t freak out much but

Seulgi Bear🐻: they found fingerprints, they assume that’s the people that killed Joy AND  burned her house....

Rosie🌹: people???

Chicken🦆: like more than 1?

Seulgi Bear🐻: yes, but here’s where it gets really weird.... all of the stuff about us was there...

Mom-rene💖: tell me how’s that weird?

Seulgi Bear🐻: All but [name]’s

Seulgi Bear🐻: her stuff was gone, all of it.

Nini♥︎: you don’t think....

Wen-Wen💙: seulgi,

Wen-Wen💙: who’s fingerprints did they find??

Seulgi Bear🐻: Park Jimin’s, Jeon Jeongguk’s and Kim Namjoon’s, those were in the box

Seulgi Bear🐻: in the door handle they found Kim Taehyung’s

Mom-rene💖: [name]! weren’t you at Jeongguk’s house with Namjoon?!

Yerim💜: get out of there!

Chicken🦆: now!!

Lalalisaaa🤟🏻: she’s not responding, omg do you think she is dead??

Seulgi Bear🐻: she will be fine, the police are investigating further, don’t worry [name]

Yerim💜: can’t they just arrest them!!

Seulgi Bear🐻: sadly, they need more evidence... they could’ve found the box after  the murder left or maybe even before, joy could have gifted it to them and Taehyung could’ve gone over to her house before, you know how they used to date and all....

Mom-rene💖: but IF they’re the stalkers, does that mean they’re also responsible for the love notes?

Wen-Wen💙: idk probably

Rosie🌹: So they’ll probably not hurt her,,,,

Mom-rene💖: [name], whenever you read this, getting out of there understood?

Nini♥︎: go to seulgi’s house, k?

Seulgi Bear🐻: we will all be there, you’re not alone....

[Sent 3:47PM]

I’m getting out of here now, don’t worry:You

[Sent at 3:53PM]

——☽

“I’m sorry but I need to go now, my grandma just texted me.”

___________

“Wait! What? [Name] don’t go, please!” I heard Jeongguk yell behind me, causing Namjoon to look at him. I ran as I saw Namjoon turn away and Jeongguk run beside him.

I hid behind the wall  of the corridor as Jeongguk scrambled next to Namjoon, asking him what to do. I could hear Namjoon talking over the phone and Jeongguk crying his eyes out whispering soft mantra of “What do we do?”.

“S-shit, Jeongguk stop screaming- [Name] left? N-no Jin don’t hang up, I-I know we’re in deep shit but- yes, we’ll be more careful next time, and we’ll- yes, we are going to call you if we- when we do it again”, Namjoon sighed, “she doesn’t know, she left running I think, she was texting her friends’ silence, “Yeah she’s friends with Seulgi the daughter of the chief detective- Shit!”

He hung up and made his way towards the bathroom door, in other words the other side of the room, the side I wasn’t in. Bolting my way outside I make my way towards Seulgi’s house.

Just who was Jin, why was Jeongguk acting so weird and what dip shit were they in?

——☀︎

“G-god! [Name] you’re alive!” Irene threw herself at me the minute I entered Seulgi’s room.

Irene was never one to cry, but here she was mourning the death of her friend, our friend Joy, she was gone. Seeing all my friends in a room faces red and eyes swollen made me realize that it was true; Joy was dead.

That they killed Joy.

”It has to be them, it just has to be!” The youngest, Yeri, cried, she was a few months older than me yet we always treated her as the baby.

”I-it probably is them, dad said so and he’s good I-I trust he’ll bring justice to Joy.” Seulgi whispered, she seemed to be in disbelief, I remembered how she used to like Jimin only a few weeks ago.

”Cheeky, you were with Jeongguk and Namjoon, two of the suspects weren’t you?” Lisa asked, she was stroking Rosé’s hair as the later filled the room with sobs, I couldn’t bear to watch her.

”Y-yeah, they were acting w-weirder than usual.” I choked out, tears brimmed my eyes and I realized I hadn’t cried much over Joy’s death; why? Because Namjoon freaked me out and Jeongguk is a weirdo, that’s why.

“W-when I left N-Namjoon was t-talking about not getting caught”, I sink into the bed beside Rosé, “T-they talked about the police a-and I-I think they killed Joy”

“But why?”, Jennie asked exasperated, “Why would they kill Joy? What did Joy have that no one else did?”

“Well- I mean, hadn’t we established that they were the love note writers?”, Yeri asked and we all nodded, “So remember how they started getting weirder and weirder as time went on?”

Again, we only nodded.

“So, what if they are the stalkers? I-I mean not like average stalkers I mean full out ‘I-Will-Kill-For-You’ stalkers? Like, Joy was friends with [Name], and both of you hanged out a lot even without us, so what if they wanted to, I don’t know, figure out where you were and they got mad or something and killed her? I mean, it’s not really the first time someone close to us or someone that has shown interest in us, in [Name], has died suddenly, and you’ve all got to admit they’ve always acted weird when [Name] was around. We always played it off as coincidence but, really…? That’s just dumb..” Yeri trailed off, I was left in shock at how much sense it all made; had I been that stupid?

“There we have killers and a motive.” Seulgi said slowly, it made so much sense that another wave of tears came.

“But! They have an alibi, don’t they?” Wendy spoke for the first time with a hoarse voice, she sounded defeated, it hurt seeing somebody as extroverted as her so quite.

”What if it doesn’t coincide with , for example, Jeongguk did though, I mean I was with him that day...”

”What? What do you mean, [Name]?” Rosé asked, probably excited at the possibility of Joy getting justice, but a part of her also seemed confused.

”What was Jeongguk’s alibi, Seulgi?”

”Seokjin said that he, Jeongguk, Namjoon, Taehyung and Jimin had spent the whole evening with him and that they didn’t really leave the house.” Seulgi recalled, yet something felt odd...

”That is just plain wrong, Jeongguk went over to my house, the-the day of the murder he was out! Seokjin is in this, maybe it’s true that he was at home but the rest no, and so is Namjoon, of those two, when I went to Jeongguk’s house I saw a car that was probably Namjoon’s,  so that’s a fact now, though he drives like shit, Jeongguk told me that, and the car that had dropped him off had a very bad driver because my front house neighbors’ complained about a black van that almost ran over their sons in a play date that day, that was Namjoon! S-so it’s possible Jimin and Taehyung were there too!”

“A black van? Dad said that a few witnesses saw a black van!”, Seulgi added in shock, “Kim Yerim you’re a genius!”

“Now we need evidence, to get them in jail where they belong”, Jennie spoke up, “But how do we do that?”

”Easy, we know their weaknesses and we’ll use it against them,'' Irene said determined, she sounded as if she was planning something, “They won’t get away with this.”

”And what is that?” Wendy asked her, she sounded unsure at the idea of interacting with them.

”Their weakness is [Name], she'll need to get close to them, gain their trust and then find clues as to what is going on... that is if she’s up to it.” Irene looked me in the eye.

”We now know they are serious trouble, are you up for it [Name]?”, Jisoo looked up from the window, she had spent the whole conversation so quiet I hadn’t even noticed her, “Do you want to put an end to this?”

“Yes.”

_____________ღ

Year: 20##

Place: Some Dumpster

Point of view: Hoseok Jung

———☀︎

Biting at my bottom lip I try to slow down my pace as to not bring too much attention to me, that’d be bad. Very bad. It’s not like what I was doing was going to not draw attention to myself, everyone stared at me suspiciously as I walked with my big, green bag. I would too, honestly.

The bag itself wasn’t what would draw attention, it was the smell. It smelt fucking awful, and I knew that everywhere I went it left the smell of a corpse around. Sure, if someone used their imagination they could come up with a strange and repulsive accusation, but then again...

What could have I done?

No one would suspect a 15 year old of murder, would they? I could easily say it was my gym clothes, with puberty and all. It wasn’t the whole body, oh no! We left the big stuff to Seokjin and Yoongi, I just had the inside stuff, the organs. But most importantly and my biggest worry was the heart.

A thief’s heart.

The heart that almost stole [Name]’s. His name was Mark Lee, he was around [Name]’s age, maybe younger, they had a few classes together and talked every once in a while when he suddenly decided to confess to her, who was he to do so? But that wasn’t a problem, that wasn’t meant to be a problem. All she had to do was rejected and then we’d all be okay, but no; she gave him a chance.

She gave that little asshole a chance but wouldn’t even spare a glance my way. And for that I was going to make his life a living hell.

They were going on their first date tomorrow, it was meant to be at the movies to watch  a crappy romance movie she’d been gushing about with him about, ha, watching movies at a first date with my [Name]? She deserves the best first date in the world, something only I can give her. She doesn’t deserve that, not from him, she deserves the world.

“And you can’t give that to her, can you Lee?” I mumbled as I made my way to the dumpster.

——☽

By the time I arrived at the dumpster, the sun had set and the whole sky had an orange tint to it, [Name] would be home probably in her room doing whatever her little heart wanted, maybe getting ready for the big day tomorrow and a big day it was.

Opening the bag I gently sit down in the middle of the garbage, I look for the healthiest and best looking organs and store them little containers Seokjin had given me before, he had taken them from one of his father's hospitals, he wouldn’t miss them they had many. The old man had everything, hospitals to hotels. Those organs we’d sell or do whatever Yoongi did with them, we didn't care what he did with them as long as it brought money for the our, my her, plan.  

Humming, I put on the gloves and prepare myself to take out the organs that seemed to have taken the least damage from Jimin’s little fit with the younger boy, poor Mark his handsome face was completely destroyed now. Too bad, [Name] wouldn’t even want to look him in the face now.

“Aish, the kid needs to learn not to break valuable stuff like this...”, I muttered as I try and arrange Mark’s brain nicely in the box, “Why did you have a brain and didn’t use it? It’s making such a mess now, it’s only use is that making messes, look where it led you Mark. Now you’re dead and probably getting sold to some weird Frankenstein scientist or something...”

Looking at the boxes I had arranged, I take out my spare phone and text Yoongi warning him where the boxes where for him to pick tomorrow, if he didn’t we could get into some shitty  trouble. Now I could focus on the main attraction.

The Heart.

Putting on my gloves again I play with the small organ, it fit nicely in my hand.

“What happens if I give you a- haha!”, I squeeze the muscle a bit and see it twitch as it continues palpitating slightly, “Haha, look at this! Useless, you aren’t even attached to someone and yet you try so hard to be useful, pathetic.”

Tossing the heart around for awhile I grew tired, and decided to finish the boy off.

“You’re lucky Namjoon didn’t want me bringing the kit with me or else you would’ve been dissected right here, right now”, I looked at it with pity, “God, you were very naive you know? Thinking someone like [Name] would even be interested in you, ha, please”

I take it and squeeze it tighter, blood gushing from the little arteries.

Quickly getting the butcher knife from the bag, with shaky hands I cut the heart in small pieces trying to make them as symmetrical as possible. Fucking disgusting.

”Now! Don’t you look better?”, I ask to no one as I place the heart pieces with the rest of the organs that Yoongi wouldn’t be able to sell, “Bet you your friends would love to have a taste of you won’t they? Seokjin and Taehyung will have a good meal to prepare for your friends now~”

I laugh a bit as I fish for a bag around the dumpster, finding a broken recycled bag I place the containers filled with the body parts and store them for Yoongi, “You’re lucky we like the same girl or else I would’ve ratted on you ages ago...”I muttered as I place the containers in then old, worn out bag, “This is all for you, [Name]”

Does this mean I’m happy sharing? No, of fucking course I’m not.

But who said I can’t rat them all out later?

Laughing loudly, I take out the gas and lighter as I throw the gasoline around the area making a heart, or at least something similar.

“This is all for you, baby” I repeat as I throw the lighter at the fire. I watch a bit as the fire grew and grew taller and taller, deciding that I should change clothes I strip down from my sweatpants and stay only using my t-shirt, only then I realized how cold it was.

All for [Name].

Sighing a bit, I dirty my spare pants to make it look like I had gotten into a fight or something, even going as far as punching myself to create bruises; who would suspect a boy how had just gotten mugged?

Taking off my shoes and one sock I throw into the fire, watching it burn brighter as I throw stuff into it, filling it, making it go higher and higher and-

“It’s like my love for you”, I giggle, “the love I’ll be able to give to you soon, very soon”

No one would suspect Jung Hoseok for murder; I won’t let them.

_____________ღ

“Geeze, [Name], we didn’t really think this through did we?”, Wendy whispered beside me as we made our way through the school halls, she was right. We, indeed, didn’t think this through.

”I mean, yeah- we didn’t think through it all, but god if we’re right it’d make things so much easier for Seulgi’s dad to catch them!”, I explain as I try and mask the, very obvious, fear, “Plus, I don’t think it’s just Joy they killed, they must’ve done this multiple times, it was all to clean, Namjoon himself said so, plus if they got out of it once who says they couldn’t have done it before?”

“Yeah, plus why would a police station have their data in it if they hadn’t found their dna somewhere else?” Wendy questioned anxiously, I hadn’t noticed it before. But then again, didn’t the police station have the dna of all of those who lived in town? But then, they did seem wary considering the way Seulgi's’ dad spoke of them.

”Mark.” I stop walking as I suddenly stop dead in my tracks.

”Mark Lee? The dude that went missing before your date...” Wendy stared at me as she trailed off.

”You don’t think?”, she asked me shaking slightly, “That they had something to do?”

“I mean-“

”Hello! You’re both Wendy and [Name], right?” A student council member asked us.

Ah yes, the plan.

“Yeah! We wanted to talk to Kim Namjoon about perhaps holding a funeral service for our friend Park Sooyeong, she passed away a few days ago. We are on the list, right?`` I ask trying to make myself sound as sad as possible, Wendy catching on and only responding with a nod and a short sniffle.

“Yes, please, can we speak with Namjoon?”

”Yes. Follow me,” He walks towards the farthest door, us walking closely behind, “So, please don’t take long, Namjoon has been acting really off lately, don’t-don’t tell him I said that! So the council is trying to take as many interviews and meetings ourselves.”

The boy looked at us, concern lacing his eyes as he whispers, “Please, be safe and don’t anger him too much.”

He then motions towards the door and leaves.

”Wendy, leave it to me, stay here, please.”

——☽

I knocked on the door thrice, when I heard a faint “Come in”, followed by some paper shuffling.

I open the door and peek inside, this was unexpected. The room was mainly filled with browns and dark reds, the schools colors, the furniture giving an antique feel to the room. In the middle, the desk of the council president sat, a leather couch by its side and two chairs in front. It looked like the whole schools budget went into the room. No wonder Namjoon blackmailed students.

”State your business an-“, he began monotonously when he looked up at me to meet my eyes, “[N-Name], I didn’t think it-it was you, I- here! Take a seat please!”

He was stuttering and he couldn’t even form a sentence.

“Ah, Namjoon! Please don’t worry, it’s fine”, I smile at him as I sit down, “I came here to talk about the funeral service for Sooyeong, Joy, she-she was really close to me an-and now that she’s gone, I- we felt it would be important to be able to hold something in her memory, you know?”, I feel tears swell in my eyes at the thought of my friend. Maybe acting like it hurt wasn’t going to be as hard as I had thought, fate had laid down the prefect Shakespearean tragedy.

He slightly stiffened at the mention of Joy, or my tears I don’t know at this point. Blushing red he gives me a small pocket handkerchief, and looks at me smiling, how can he smile so freely?

“Would that make you happy?” He looks at me as he grabs my hand, his hand covered all of my hand, his smile was cute; but he may have been the murderer of my best friend and there’s no way I’ll forget that. Until he’s proven innocent, I won’t budge. Too much evidence was piled up against him.

“Yeah, it would, it really would, thank you”, I smile back at him.

“Anything for a friend”, he smiles, “You’re friends with Jeongguk so you’re friends with me too.” He squeezes my hand slightly, and let’s it go hesitantly.

He stands up, walking all the way towards me from behind the desk just to help me stand up. He places his hand around my shoulders, leading me towards the door. Shouldn’t this meeting be longer?

“Namjoon, I shouldn’t be saying this but...”, I suddenly stop at the front of the door, shaking slightly from fear and sadness; real fear and sadness, “Seulgi’s dad, who’s in the case, thinks that maybe they killed Joy because she was my friend, I’m scared Namjoon. He said it was definitely a murderer, and that it was all to similar to other ones he had participated in; he searched for a bit and found that there were at least two cases that were similar Mark Lee and Vernon Choi, and they were close to me, th-then he said that other people close to me kept disappearing even after I left, and even more now that I’m back th-he thinks I’m next and I’m scared Namjoon, I-I don’t know what to do. I don’t want another Joy.” I made it all up, but fear and sadness that if I failed my friends and those I loved would be hurt, was real, my sanity was deteriorating, I can’t lose anyone anymore. Another loss, I couldn’t have that, I wouldn’t be able to handle it..

”[Name], I promise you that me and Jeongguk will always be there for you, if it makes you feel better I have some friends you could meet, they’re all rather athletic and are really nice, we aren’t the police persee but maybe we can help you feel safe. Maybe I could present you all at lunch today?”

”Ah, yes please, if it’s not too much!” I ask, was he going to let me meet...

“They’re Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin, Jeongguk will be joining us but you already know him very well, don’t you?”

”Yes! We are really close, is it that obvious?” I lied through my teeth, my heartbeat was off the charts as my hands grew sweaty.

”Haha, kind off,” he chuckled, “he never shut ups about you.”

“Really?” I turn red a bit, that jerk, he probably told them all my personal info, god that little son of bitch!

“I look forward to lunch with you, I hope we can become close friends.” He smiles at me as I walk out of the door. Wendy is there waiting for me, we both wave goodbye and leave hurriedly as I begin to tell her about it all.

“Wendy, I think he knows something, he wants me to go eat with the other six.”

“Are you sure about that?” Wendy asked, “They won’t hurt you will they?”

“I don’t know. Have you heard about Irene?” I ask her, we both knew that we didn’t have the answer to her question but maybe Irene did.

“She’s with Park Ji-” My eyes widen, nervously I look at Wendy, she understood.

Her phone rang with a text she looked worried as she stared down at it, I bit my lip.

“I gotta go, go hide in a bathroom so the teachers don’t see you.”

——☽

”Guys we have a special lunch today...”

——☽

“[Name]?”

”Yeah, I got her to come have lunch with us and to speak about a memorial for Sooyeong, but that’s more on me”, Namjoon sighed, “She thinks we’re out to get her, what do we do?”

”Out to get her?”, Seokjin asked eyes bulging, how could she ever think that? Where they too obvious? Had they gone too far?

“Is it because of Sooyeong and ya know?”, Yoongi asked, “I told you, don’t kill unless they impose a threat, what type of threat was her family and her? Wearing the wrong colored shoes?”

“Jimin and Tae said she had caught them before that and that she was already on to something...” Jeongguk trailed off, it wasn’t the first Sooyeong had caught the duo spying on [Name], and it wasn’t the first time she caught any of the seven.

“They had reasons, okay?” Namjoon sighed irritated, what do they win now arguing, it already happened.

”Of course you’d say so, you helped them too!” Hoseok snarled at Namjoon, how could Namjoon be so fucking dumb.

”Well, who was clumsy enough to get her to remember Mark Lee, huh? Didn’t you say you were going to make her forget Mark was even a name yet you couldn’t even talk to her!” Namjoon harshly whispered to the boy next to him, Hoseok’s eyes widen as he looks around the empty classroom in embarrassment.

”She-she what?”, Jeongguk asked, “She remembers Mark?”

”Yeah, she even talked about him to me you fucking idiots, by the way she spoke she seems to remember every single one, even after she left”, Namjoon sighed, “We can’t do much now, or act by the plan, we-we gotta wait longer and not act-“

”Wait longer?”, Yoongi laughed incredulously, “I waited for years, years, Kim, she fucking left and I had to wait longer and now you come up with this bullshit? What about all that, we gotta go fast before she’s tainted and all that bullshit Tae and you blaber on about?”

”If [Name] was able to catch onto something than most possibly the police too, Min, Officer Kang already did for the fucking record, meaning that if the only person alive were to suddenly disappear she would become the prime suspect, and even if they end up cleaning her name, her life would be ruined because that’d mean they’d need to find us and a) she’d be unprotected, b) or they’ll see her like an accomplice, she’d go to jail because of some shit she didn’t do. That’d be fucking it, it’s better to get close to her and wait for a while or convince her to come with us willingly.”

Yoongi stayed silent as thoughts raced around his head. Who did they think they were to tell him what to do?

“Namjoon’s right...”, Jimin sighed, everyone sighed, “It hurts, but we can wait, right? It’ll be nicer to have her now, but don’t you think it’s better to be cautious?”

”Jimin is right, let’s-let’s leave this for later guys”, Taehyung suggested, “[Name] will be having lunch with us won’t she? So, let’s get ready for now, ok?”

He only received a crowd of unmotivated grunts, as they stood up and made their way out of the classroom.

——☽

”Taehyung, do you think she really remembers Mark?” Jeongguk asked his older friend as they made their way towards their lesson.

”Probably, she cared about him a lot, she almost stopped hanging out with you ‘cause of him, remember?” He answered nonchalantly, he knew that was a sensitive spot for Jeongguk.

“Mark Lee”, Jeongguk test out his name, “Mark fucking Lee, I hope you’re burning in hell.”

”I-I can’t believe it, even after everything we did, she still remembers him? Yet she wouldn’t talk to me? If I could, I would bring him back to life over and over again, and kill him every fucking time. I’d make sure to make him suffer, to let him know that he isn’t worthy of thinking of [Name], that I won her heart the minute she won mine, that she’s mine. Mine! Not his, mine! He probably threatened her to go out with her; asshole. Fucking asshole! It’s his fault! I’m meant to win, not him! Haha, I’m happy we got rid of Mark Lee that summer.”

The oldest of the two seemed unfazed at the youngest fit, rather opting to continue walking in silence. He had to agree, though, he also was happy they got rid of Mark Lee and he would do it again if it meant being with [Name].  

Suddenly, a pair of footsteps made themselves clearer behind them. Stopping half way both males stiffened as a voice made itself heard through the empty hallway.

“Y-You killed Mark?”

ღ__________________ღ

“I did it.”

Irene watched in shock as the younger boy confessed to the death of her younger friend.

“But J-“ The oldest began, but was soon cut off as the male before her began speaking.

”Don’t, I don’t know why I’m telling you of all people, after school I-“

”No, J- I’m... we’re talking here now, you killed someone! And n-now you’re after [Name]?” She shouted as anger began numbing her rationality, she knew what was happening, she had told her and now he came here lying to her?!

”[Name]? I could never! I swear, I-It was only Mark I was after!”

”Only Mark? Only Mark?”, the brunette raised her voice, “What about Sooyeong? Or Nayeon? Or maybe even Jae? Or Yugyeom? Or-“

”Or who? I didn’t kill them!” He shouted, he was getting angrier by the minute, mimicking the eldest girl.

”But you killed Mark, huh?”

”Y-yes.” He answered back, but they both knew that the uncertainty in his voice was clear.

“You didn’t, both you and I know-”

”Stop acting like you know what you’re talking about, Joohyun- !”

”Stop lying! You’re too young, Ji-“

”I’m too young? You’re talking as if I didn’t kill Mar-“

”I know he threatened you, Ji-“

”He who?”

”Namjoon!”

”N-Namjoon had nothing to do with tha-“

”I know you didn’t kill him, Jisung, it was Hoseok wasn’t it?”

———☽

The younger boy looked in horror at the older girl.

”N-no, I s-swear it was m-me!” Jisung stuttered.

”No, I know it wasn’t you. Seulgi’s dad, he told me about how the prime suspect for the Mark Lee case suspect were Jung Hoseok and a man named Son Saeyoung; they closed the case with it being Saeyoung fault, both the murder and death, but it wasn’t like that, right? Hoseok murdered Mark and then someone sold the body parts to Saeyoung, incriminating him. They paid you to tell me this right?”

Silence, only a confirmation to Joohyun. Poor Jisung, he probably only found out by accident and now he was probably going to jail for something he didn’t do.

”It’s okay, tell them I believed you; that I’ll tell Seulgi’s dad, ‘kay? Don’t go to the police just yet though,” Irene stayed silent for a while, “would you follow me? It’s something I need you to do before you go.”

Only nodding in agreement the younger boy walked behind his friend, thankful for her brain, thankful of her for being able to pick up what was wrong.

”Thank you, Joohyun”

”No problem, if we die we die together, ‘kay?”

———☽

Biting her nails anxiously was a wrecked Wendy, she needed to call [Name], fast.

”F-fuck, Joohyun, why did you do this....”

The older girl just cracked a broken smile, her cheek cracked awkwardly as more blood came out from the cut that was plastered on it.

”Ji-Jisung, I-I couldn’t blame him, Mark-k wouldn’t have wanted that...”

She was greeted with silence from her younger friend as she tried calling [Name], again.

”Gosh, [Na-! God, finally! [Name], call Seulgi and her dad, now! Irene is hurt, I need you to come to the rooftop as fast as possible! W-what? What do you mean you’re actually going to have lunch with them? Leave the fucking plan!”, she screamed angrily at the phone, “Irene is dying, and you’re worried about that?”, silence, “You’re gonna call Seulgi, now.”

Wendy cut the phone call before [Name] could protest further, she didn’t want to hear her.

”She’ll call the ambulance and Seulgi’s dad, don’t worry too much, you’ll be fine.”

”G-good, I need to te-tell [Name] something.” Irene muttered.

“I-I just can’t believe Jisung did that, he could’ve killed you...”, Wendy felt tears form at the corner of her eyes, “Joohyun, you could’ve died, we really don’t know what we got ourselves into....”

The older girl pushed herself from the floor, immediately worrying her friend but she was quick to brush her off.

”T-the thing is, Seungwan, [Name], she won’t make it, no matter how hard we try and shake them off; they’ll always find her somehow....”

———☽

”Seulgi! It’s Joohyun she-she’s gotten beaten up, she’s with Wendy now but please come, with your dad and an ambulances too! God, f-fast! Please! It-It was Jisung, it seems like it, but I-I don’t know, okay? I wasn’t there, I’m sorry, please focus on the task at hand.” And with that the girl hung up the phone and rested her head against the bathroom door.

”I should get going now.” She pushed herself and readied herself for the dreaded lunch.

I don’t want to do this.

She thought to herself bitterly, she sighed and pressed a cold hand to her forehead.

“Have I gotten a fever? My cheeks are red...” She felt her cheeks too. They were blazing. She was worried sick about her friends, what was going on?

Silence. The only sound was that of a girl exiting the bathroom.

She walked through the empty halls, her light footsteps barely echoing through the hallway.

She looked through the window, she saw the younger kids during their PE class, she saw a few girls during their free period walking through the quad.

She suddenly stopped dead in her tracks as she heard the words. She didn’t know what had happened before but she blindly spoke in response.

“Haha, I’m happy we got rid of Mark Lee that summer.”

“Jeongguk? Y-You killed Mark Lee?”

The boy in question and his companion stopped and turned around. Their faces paled, their eyes widened and their mouths turned agape.

”[Name]?”

———☽

“They don’t want to kill her, they want to keep her....”

———☽

“Jeongguk, what do you mean?” I asked as I backed away slightly.

He said nothing, he stared directly at me as his friend looked at me wide eyed.

I couldn’t place my finger on how, but I felt like I knew the boy beside Jeongguk; the boy who laughed at the mention of Mark’s death.

”Kim Taehyung?” I whisper softly to myself, I ruffled my hair slightly and let my hand fall on chest. No...

”Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jeongguk, you both killed Lee Mark?” I ask, as I looked at them both in the eye.

Mistake number 1.

Taehyung’s eyes widened further, if possible, as he began to shake and fiddled with his finger. His mouth parted open, and even from where I stood I could hear his jagged breathing.

“Y-you know m-my name?” He asked as a bright blush took over his cheeks, “You know my name, haha, you know me!”

He looked over at Jeongguk, giggling as he grabbed the younger boy by his shoulders,

“She knows me! M-my baby knows me, Jeongguk, oh my-!”

”Taehyung...” Jeongguk grabbed his friend trying to stop him, but he shook him off as he began chanting repeatedly the words “She knows me!”

”Taehyung, she heard us!” Jeongguk whispered harshly, tugging at the oldest sleeve.

”She knows...”

At those words, the blushing male seemed to have been hit with the truth. His smile shut down, and his body took a more menacing, yet lazy, stance.

”My baby knows me, she know us and what we do, because she isn’t stupid, right baby?” He asked me as he began walking towards me, slow steps echoing through the hallways.

”What?” I ask him as I began walking back with every step he took at my direction.

”Taehyung, could that be why she agreed to eat lunch with us?” Jeongguk asked as a dull look came over his eyes, his posture mimicked Tae’s.

”Probably, but don’t worry Kookie! She will spend the rest of the week eating lunch with us, won’t she?” He asked as he backed me against a door.

When did he arrive here?

“N-no! Stop, I’ll tell the police!” I tried pushing him off, but Jeongguk came and took one side of me as Taehyung took the other. I was trapped.

Mistake number 2.

”But, Darling, you wouldn’t want Taehyungie to tell Namjoon would you? That you were toying with us?”

”Are we toys to you?”, Taehyung asked against the crook of my neck, “Do you want to use us? Are we nothing more?”

Excitement took over his voice as he spoke, he began kissing my neck.

”Stop it now! Seulgi’s dad is coming over any second now!”

”Are we toys to you? I don’t mind being your toy, do you Jeonggukie?” Taehyung repeated and asked Jeongguk, ignoring my previous threat.

”No, if it means she’ll only pay attention to me!” He giggled and kissed my cheek.

”Me neither, but just for today; I want to play with her instead, so let’s go!”

He gave me one last kiss, and looked me in the eye, a look that made me shiver; suddenly running away wasn’t an option that didn’t include anyone not getting hurt. I didn’t know what to do, they just confessed to murder damn it! Why can’t I be smarter like Yeri, or athletic like Lisa or cunning like Irene? Why did I have to be me?

”But first, we gotta establish some rules!”, Taehyung continued after he took my bag from my shoulder rather harshly, I grunted in pain as the material brushed aggressively against my neck.

”Number one, you tell no one about what you just heard! That means no Irene, no Seulgi or her dad, no Wendy, or Lisa, or Jennie; we don’t want another Joy, do we?

Second, you’ll only look at us and talk to us, your family’s okay, but only direct family; boys and girls alike will be taken care of accordingly.

Third, you’re doing this out of your free will, if anybody asks; even the other guys!

You have to say yes to us! M’kay? So if I were to ask if you love us you gotta say yes, ha!

Hmm, that’s all I can think about now, we’ll add more as we go, now let’s go skip class! Let’s go to that ice cream place, maybe the others will be there, or maybe just Yoongi!” Taehyung giggled once more and led the way for me and Jeongguk as they both took my hands. We don’t want another Joy? Huh?

I don’t know what’s worse; what they’re doing or that I can’t find the strength to fight.

——☽

By the time we reached the ice cream shop, I had received a text message from Wendy thanking me about calling Seulgi and her dad, she also asked me where I was.

It was the first time I lied to her, it wasn’t a complete lie though, right?

Mistake number 3.

I had to hide to be able to text her as I was being watched at all times by Jeongguk and Taehyung; I felt weak. Why did this happen to me?

”So, [Name]? I went and ordered your favorite ice cream, we also took the liberty to call Yoongi and Jimin so they’re gonna arrive at around 1:40? So while we wait, do you have any questions?” Taehyung asked.

I looked around me, trying to find a possible exit but Jeongguk who sat over at my right, was clutching my hand tightly and Taehyung was blocking the pathway towards the door.

He looked at me curiously, as did Jeongguk, the later being way more quiet but more touchy. He now had a hand on my cheek as he caressed it softly while Taehyung played with my hand.

“Yes, I-I have been receiving letters by a group called Bts; Jin, RM, Hope, Chimmy, V, Suga and Cooky, are they you by any chance?” I did my best to not stutter, to sound confident, to be like Irene.

He stopped playing with my fingers, as he took my hand to his lips and began kissing it.

“My baby is so smart! Yes, I was V while Jeonggukie was Cooky, pretty names right?” He accentuated each word with a kiss.

Suddenly, similar to falling into cold water, I remembered something Lisa told me a few months ago that made me shiver.

“Did any of you ever call a friend of mine?” I asked nervously.

“What? No, why?” Jeongguk asked me, he had stopped playing with my hair, something he did when nervous.

”S-so you don’t know anybody called Seungkwan?”

”Baby?” Taehyung asked growling, he took both of my hands and pressed them against each other and pressed them against his cheeks; pulling me slightly over the table.

“Ah-it’s just a boy that had called a friend of mine as-asking for me, and I thought that maybe that was one of you...” I stuttered, trying to take my hands away.

”That wasn’t us....” Taehyung growled lower, he let go of one hand and continued playing with the other.

“Did he call your friend on her cell phone?” Jeongguk asked as he resumed playing with my hair.

“Yeah... I think she still has the phone on her record....”

”Tell her to give us her phone please, Bunny!” Jeongguk pouted.

“Yeah! But it’s fine though, he won’t bother you, not while we’re with you!” Taehyung smiled at me, but in his eyes I couldn’t ignore the clear look of anger in them.

Just then as Tae finished his threat, the door to the shop opened rather obnoxiously and in came two overly contrasting boys.

Min Yoongi and Park Jimin.

Park Jimin; the schools sweetheart, wearing his ever iconic oversized sweater and charming smile, his school uniform perfectly clean, and stunning hair, which was dyed a pretty dirty blonde, and skin well kept.

Min Yoongi; the schools bad boy, wearing his iconic, and rather cliche, black leather jacket and bored face and look, his uniform messy and dark hair fell over his eyes as he looked around almost as if intimidating everyone who looked his way was his goal.

They seemed to be having a friendly conversation, with Jimin doing most of the talking, when suddenly Yoongi looked over and made eye contact with me, fuck. His eyes widen as he lightly hits Jimin causing the younger boy to look over and a bigger smile to break through.

Just as the two boys made their way over to the table, the waitress came with our orders. Her forearm balancing all of the ice cream’s was suddenly knocked over by Jimin’s overly excited steps and were sent flying onto my school blouse.

Yelping from the coldness seeping into the thin fabric I stand up, harshly setting aside Jeongguk, and try dabbing the icy liquid out of my shirt to no use. I was scared and cold as fuck.

”Oh- [Name]!”, Jimin exclaimed pushing the poor waitress and knocking her over, making her fall to her butt. God no, what is wrong with these people?!

”I-I-“ She tried speaking but was soon cut off by Yoongi.

”What’s your name?” His eyes seemed to widen with anger and his pupils dilated and widened threateningly. He looked like a street cat, I couldn’t help but feel sorry and scared for the young woman.

”Gretel Zacharias...”

Yoongi then looked over at me and my shirt and crouched down next to the woman, whispering something into her ear that caused her to look at him in horror and scramble to her feet quickly and storm off, screaming apologies with tears streaming down her face.

”Sweetheart, please use my sweater!” Jimin began taking off his sweater and handed it to me, blushing furiously. Sweetheart?

He handed me the dark red fabric and smiled sweetly down at me.

Nodding silently, I began to make my way to the bathroom when suddenly Yoongi asked.

”Where are you going, my mus- [Name]?”

Blushing, I boldly walk up to him and tiptoe to the significantly taller male, trying to find the words to make him blush, I’d try a Jennie approach.

”The ice cream got into certain places, it kinda fell into the space between my chest, and I think it’s kinda deep in there too and I don’t want to get a cold...”

Turning away I march into the bathroom stall to take out my shirt and bra. What was I thinking?!

Thank god I hadn’t taken out my other bra from PE the day before...

Why had I done that?

Unfortunately, I didn't think I’d need more shirts and so I had to put on the sweater.

Wetting a bit of paper towel to clean off my chest and hair, and spray some perfume.

“Hopefully Jimin won’t mind the smell...” I snort a bit as I imagine how uncomfortable Jimin would get thanks to my perfume. Hopefully he won’t mind me not using a shirt. Thinking of facing Yoongi again after what I had done made me cringe.

——☽

By the time I got out of the bathroom stall, I got gently grabbed by the arm by Min Yoongi as he gently led me to the table.

”You’re only wearing a bra?” He tried to ask quietly as we sat down.

Blushing at how loudly he said that I look over at him at a loss for words.

”Sweetheart is using my sweater without a shirt?” Jimin squeaked, while Jeongguk muttered  something that sounded like the words; “Lucky bastard”.

”Don’t worry, [Name], no one is allowed to look at you dirtily, only us!” Taehyung giggled as he took my hand and resumed playing with it.

Suddenly Jeongguk grabbed a strand of hair and began braiding it as he had done earlier, when I felt Jimin take my other hand and play with it too; giving it kisses while Yoongi leaned against me and began leaving kisses wherever he could find bare skin.

I couldn’t stop them.

Mistake number 4.

———☽

”Wendy, they want to make her their doll.”

_______________

“I can’t find her!” Seulgi looked over at her dad distraughtly, where was [Name]? She wasn’t in danger, right?

“Bear, are you sure it was her who called you?”

”Yes? I mean, it says on my phone it was her and Irene and Wendy told us about her.... maybe someone kidnapped her!”

”Why would you think someone kiddna-”

”Where’s Irene?” Seulgi looked over at her dad, the poor man didn’t understand his daughters fast words and seemingly nonsensical actions.

“In the ambulance getting treated, she’s fine but will be take-”

He never finished the sentence as his daughter ran out of the room and out into the parking lot screaming for her friends.

Running until her lungs felt like they would collapse Seulgi pushed past the paramedics until she saw her two friends talking in whispers to one another.

”Wendy!” The black haired girl shouted as she made her way to the girl.

”Seulgi! What happe-“

”Do you know with who [Name] was with?” Seulgi said breathless, her heart was beating in her ears, she felt all of her senses alert. Suddenly she was in survival mode.

”The boys, she-“ Wendy tried to explain, but Seulgi’s nervousness began affecting her too.

”No, she wasn’t with them, she wasn’t the bathroom, right Wendy?” Irene cut off the younger girl.

”What- no! She-“

”She wasn’t with them, I saw them whilst Jisung asked me to follow him.”

”Ah, really? But she told me-“ Wendy tried to debate with the eldest but was cut off again as Seulgi began speaking.

”I think- I think we should talk to [Name], or at least me, I’m the one who knows the most and they’d kinda figure out if all of us suddenly-“

”Irene! The doctors couldn’t find any broken bones, just a lot of internal and external bleeding but it has stopped, you were lucky this time as it was quite a superficial case so you’ll be able to go home just fine! I’ll take you-“

The female in question, much to everyone’s amazement, stood up by herself; not resembling the girl who had just been lying there before.

“Go look for her outside, she might be with an angel and ice.” Irene spoke, she didn’t look back as she began running away ignoring the younger girls calls and making her way to the ice cream shop.

Just like they’d planned.

———☽

”Seulgi, I-I think I know where [Name] is but we shouldn’t go there now, let’s send your dad.”

”Why?”

”I think Irene....”

The older girls eyes widen as she stared at her friend.

“N-no.... but that’d mean that Joy-“

”Shh!” She was hushed by her friend.

”We need to tell [Name] and the other girls! I’ll call the others you go tell your dad [Name]’s at ‘Angela’s Cream’! Go with your dad, we’ll meet over at your house!”

”Ok!” Seulgi began running next to Wendy when suddenly they were stopped by the scream of a teacher.

”Oh my god! There’s a dead boy in the basket ball court- it’s Park Jisung!”

They both froze in place, looking each other in the eye; an albeit silent, but mutual agreement of what was happening and what must be done was shared and they both parted ways.

Another life could be taken any minute now, they couldn’t risk it because the next victim could be [Name] or maybe even themselves.

____________ღ

As the four boys talked around me, I couldn’t shake off the feeling of questioning if I had done the right thing. If my assumptions were correct the girls would show up any minute now, or at least Seulgi’s dad.

Please, Wendy, you’re smart!

I prayed silently, looking out the window I noticed how the former quiet road was now taken into blue and red; a police car. I was about to cry out of joy.

The black car pulled over at the street and out came the familiar looking officer; Police Chief Officer Kang. Also known as Seulgi’s dad.

He marched into the ice cream shop until he made eye contact with me. Relaxing my previously tense stance I gently nudge Jeongguk and point over to where Mr Kang was standing as he spoke with the shop owner.

”What...” He whispered shocked as he took my hand forcibly.

”Taehyung, the police...” Jimin trailed off, he began sweating anxiously as the officer made his way towards our seats.

”Hello, are you students from-“

”Yes we are, we are out here with permission sir.” Yoongi cut off rather rudely.

”Well, good for you! Now, I need to know if Miss [Last Name] is he-! There you are, you’re needed in the police station now, please come with me.” He answered back rudely back, he never did enjoy taken bullshit from other people, I felt tears pool in my eyes in relief.

”What- why?” I asked faking shock.

”For the murder of your friend Sooyeong and the recent murder of a boy named Park Jisung”, he answered, “We were told you were close to both of them and you might be the clue to finding the murder of these two.”

”J-Jisung?”

“Yes please, follow me now” He took my hand from Jeongguk and pulled me out of the cage he and Yoongi had made and led me to the exit.

The words of protest were blocked from my ears as they seemed to be filled with blood, the thick liquid blocking all sound except the words forming in my head.

It’s your fault he’s dead.

The words kept repeating themselves as I boarded the car and I sat next to my friend Seulgi.

I stared at her through as tears kept falling and the imaginary blood in my ears kept rushing.

She said nothing as she too cried and held me in her arms tightly. Probably afraid of what was going on.

If only I knew it was because of the sick betrayal of our close friend.

”[Name] , I’ll be taking you to my house, Seulgi told me that the other girls were going to be there by the time we arrive; so please don’t worry...” Officer Kang spoke softly to us as he drove the black police car to his home.

——☽

As we drove through the town, I couldn’t shake the bitter feeling of regret of ever coming back here.

The pretty colors of the sunset that painted the windows and our sling in the car only added to the bitter feeling of helplessness and nostalgia that ate me away.

Seulgi, who was exhausted, had fallen asleep beside me and was now resting herself in my shoulder as I stared out the window.

Watching the commercial buildings turn into the neighborhoods, and the businessmen and women turn into gangs of kids playing games out with their families and pets, I couldn’t stop the hopeless wish that settled in of wanting to stop it all.

As we pulled into the driveway of Seulgi’s family home, I nudged her slightly for her to wake up.

“You need to explain everything, please.”

———☽

The dyed red-head made her way to the ice cream shop, only to find the people she had wished to find gone, sighing she fixed herself through the reflection of herself in the mirror; she didn’t look that bad for what she was about to do and had done.

She didn’t even feel guilty, she tricked her friends and? That didn’t mean she regretted her actions it was her survival over theirs. It was a selfish world they lived in.

”Irene! You’re here?” The red-headed laughed bitterly.

”Please, stop it... I can’t keep it up like this! They’re gonna end up dead!” Irene cried, tears falling.

“Tell me Irene, does it look like I care? I’m dead for all they know, and a dead girl can’t cause chaos.” Sooyoung asked.

”No, Joy, you aren’t dead but I sure wish you were....”

_____________ღ

“What?” Chaeyoung exclaimed, no one was ready for what Wendy and Seulgi had just said.

”Joy is alive?” Jennie asked confused as she leaned against the wall.

“Yeah, she’s probably working with the guys after [Name] too...” Wendy finished, she sighed.

”We should tell Seulgi’s dad...” Chaeyoung suggested, despite her shock she still was more useful than I could ever be.

”Yeah, then that’d rid Sooyeong and Irene, and with our witnesses they’ll at least put Sooyeong in jail” Seulgi agreed, I knew by the way she spoke that the idea pained her, it pained all of us. Irene and Joy, who would have thought?

”But then that leaves the boys....” Lisa brought up a very big point, the main point.

”I’ll deal with them”, I speak up suddenly, “It’s my fault, not yours, I-I know what I have to do just give me some time and things will go back to normal.”

”No”, Jennie sighed, “You won’t, that’s just fucking stu-“

”Let her”, Jisoo spoke up, “She’s- [Name], [Name] are you sure about this?”

Nodding I look at her as determinedly as I could, I could fix this.

“You won’t changer your mind will you?” Yeri laughed bitterly, I wouldn’t betray them.

I nodded again.

”It’s for the best” I said quietly, even if I was unsure I had put people in danger, I have been useless and I have only been an inconvenience, I wanted to do something, I needed to do something.

”But these boys, that we don’t even know, can do anything! What if you end up hurt? The what if’s are endless!” Jennie argued, she was blushing with anger, “We can’t just send you like that?”

“Jennie”, Jisoo hugged her tightly, “It’s our [Name], she won’t go down without a fight. I trust her and should you, all of us.”

”I can’t believe we’re agreeing to this...” Wendy said exasperated, tears bubbling under her eyes, I felt tears bubble in mine too as I looked at my friends.

“What are you going to do?” Yeri asked again, “Maybe we can come up with a middle ground.”

”I’ll give them what they want” I stated without budging.

”What?” Wendy shouted, jumping from the bed and slamming her hands on the bedside table.

”What’s so bad about that?” Chaeyoung asked, suddenly her eyes widened.

”She’s gonna give herself! That’s what she’s gonna give!”, Wendy raised her voice.

”What?” Jisoo exclaimed, eyes widening.

”You can’t do that!” Turning around, Lisa began hyperventilating.

”You-“

The girls began acting up, begging me to change my mind, but I wouldn’t. All of this was happening because of me, and if I could stop it then I fucking would.

”You’re gonna do wha-?”

“You stupid bi- you’re gonna give yourself like that?”

”Gosh, you-you’re really stupid aren’t you? How are you even going to do that?”

“By walking out the door, duh?”

———☽

They locked me in the bathroom.

I was locked in the bathroom, sitting in the bathtub and silently singing nursery rhymes as I waited until they finished telling Mr Kang the truth.

I was indeed very stupid.

Silently running the plan through my head, I lean against my knees and pray that their intentions aren’t bad. That if I do end up going with them that I won’t end up dead in a ditch. But it was indeed better than having my friends dead.

Leaning against the bathtub, I close my eyes and let myself sleep for a while. Numbing myself to the surrounding world. I hadn’t been able to really have a peaceful time since coming back to this damned town.

As I stay there, nightmares and never ending thoughts began plaguing my mind.

What if I jump out of the window, make my way to Kook’s house and let him kidnap me. No one will miss me anyway, plus I’m the reason why all of this is happening. The reason Sooyeong faked her death, killed her sister and mother and betrayed us. I’m the reason Mark’s dead, Nayeon, the rest. I shouldn’t be here. I don’t deserve to be here. I don’t deserve to be alive now.

Tears began slipping out of my eyes, as the thoughts began multiplying and breathing became hard. Shaking harshly from the mere memory of the news articles declaring my friends deaths; knowing that somehow I had caused them.

I lost track of time. I couldn’t stop shaking and crying as blame and guilt began consuming me.

All my senses began failing me.

I couldn’t hear, I couldn’t see, I couldn’t touch and I couldn’t speak.

A feeling of numbness began biting at my ribs, leaving trails of pain as it made its way up my head until I was left with a pounding headache. My cheeks felt cold as the tears ran across them, broken sobs that overtook the sound of footsteps and bodies falling.

I couldn’t think, I couldn’t hear, I couldn’t understand and I couldn’t feel.

”Please, anyone, save me”

The door burst open, and I let out a scream.

———☽

[3rd Point of View]

The blood from the bunch of young women laid over the house as Sooyeong stood panting.

“I-I did it....” She whispered softly.

Laying down, she waited for her captors to come over and finish the job. Laughing lightly she looked over to her presumably dead, older friend, Irene.

”Onnie, we’ll meet in hell, haha, just like Jennie said!” She laughed full of delusions.

As she rested on her back, she tilted her head to see all her friends, gone.

“If only...”, she whispered, “If only I was allowed to kill her too, then we’d be together forever...”

Smiling, she let bitter tears run down her cheek.

“I can’t believe I’m fucking dying full of regrets, haha, fantastic!” She turned around in the bloodied floor, she noticed her sides were all red and sticky.

”Ugh, didn’t Officer Kang keep cigars?” She muttered, as she pulled herself upwards.

Stumbling into her dead friend’s father office, she made her way to the ‘empty’ liquor cabinet, the one Seulgi so many times defended and said was filled with juice and snacks. There sat stacks of Marlboro and heavy liquor. Opening a random packet she took a cigarette and slowly lit it, placing it between her lips. Taking a heavy breath she let out a dull huff.

Laying against the table, she counted the minutes until her death.

Still with her cigarette, she made her way to the bathroom, sitting against the door she knocked softly.

”Guys?”, she heard her friends voice, ex-friend, she reminded herself bitterly, I sold them away.

With a clear idea of who was in the bathroom, Joy began to speak.

”You know, I always told myself that if any of my family members or friends were to get in a life or death I would put myself after them and take the bullet. But, ha, now that it really happened, I killed my fucking parents and sister, sold you lot to them and signed my own fucking death note and now, they’re gonna take you away! Priceless!”, she laughed, “Fucking priceless, I promised myself that I wouldn’t die full of sin or regret but look at me now, keeping you busy while they kill your family! They’ll come by any minute and kill me, bet you they’ll do it quick. That way they’ll take you away faster, you’ll live like a princess [Name], ahhh, how much I wished I was you right now. Seven hot dudes killing for me, I’d die for that...”

A muffled voice could be heard, and loud banging against the door.

“Joy?”

She ignored her.

“Tell me, [Name], should I let myself be killed or should I kill myself?”

”Where are the others? Joy!”

”Oh, the girls?”, Sooyeong asked as she took another swing, “They’re dead. I killed them, anyway, what should I do?”

The girl inside the bathroom finally was able to hear it all, all at once it hit her, her senses overwhelmed her, and so she cried, punched and kicked, she let the inner turmoil inside of her manifest itself into the surface.

”Let me out you psycho!” Never once did [name] question if that was Joy.

”Sweetie”, Joy laughed, “I’m not half as bad as them!”

”Who? Who dammit?” The younger girl cried in frustration.

”BTS”, Sooyeong accentuated every letter, “Your secret lovers!”

”Wha-“

A loud bang into the door and several footsteps were heard from the floor below the two females.

“They’re here, fuck them, I’ll do it myself” Sooyeong muttered to herself.

Standing up, she opened the lock to the bathroom door, however she didn’t open the door; yet.

Heart racing, she took the gun that was situated next to Jennie’s body, they were getting close. She could tell due to the increasing volume of the chatter, the sound of footsteps and the smell of rotten seven little pigs who will all burn in hell.

Hastily she made her way to the bathroom and opened the door to revel a petrified [Name], tears streaming down her face as she looked at her demented friend.

They were now outside the door.

“Bye bye, bitch. Remember that I love you and I will save you”

Joy leaned the gun against her chest and shot her herself.

Blood spilled everywhere as her falling body made way to the most agonizing and traumatic sight.

Seulgi’s room was littered with her friends dead bodies, including Seulgi’s parents. The walls showed claw marks, blood splattered against the walls and organs spilled on the floor.

Gagging, [Name] cried louder than before, sobs echoing on the almost empty house.

A rush of footsteps and angry mutters made their way outside the bathroom door before five male figures appeared on the doorway.

“[Name]!”

____________ღ

With wide eyes I look up and find Jeongguk and his ‘gang’, people I know now to refer to as Bts.

After hearing what Joy had said before shooting herself, I couldn’t help the fear that ran through my veins as I saw five of the seven males, where were the other two? What had happened?

”Get away from me!” I shouted at them and pressed myself into the wall, Jimins’ sweater and my skirt were now soaking wet from the leftover water, my socks were drenched, but I didn’t care, I needed distance right now.

“What?” Jeongguk asked flabbergasted, he stepped forward but I let out a scream to show I was not having it.

”I said what I said! Get away from me, you freaks!” I screamed, now with anger replacing the fear. These men ruined my life in just a few days, in just a few hours they took almost everything I had away from me, I only had my family left now and even then I wasn’t sure about that.

”I- we’re here to rescue you!”, Taehyung said as he approached me slowly, he pushed Jeongguk slightly to the side as he opened his arms.

”No! Joy told me everything, she said that you made her kill the girls and that this bullshit, yeah this fucking bullshit, that it’s all your fault!” I screamed at them, I motioned to the room as tears hot ran down my face.

”She did what?” Namjoon asked as he pushed Taehyung and Jeongguk away and walked over to me.

Peering over the bathtub, he gently took my hand.

”Baby, how do you know she wasn’t lying? Huh, she faked her death, killed her friends and family, how do you know she wasn’t lying to you again?” He whispered softly, he took my hand and rubbed circles against my palm.

”Because I know her-” I tried arguing with him but my mind was shutting itself off.

”Mhm?” He asked softly as he helped me stand up and exit the tub, I began shivering as I looked over to see the body of my friends, the people who had only tried to help me, looking so damn dead.

”She said you killed my family and that you were going to come over and take me away, I trust her more than I’d ever trust you.” I trailed off, my feet wobbled as my legs gave out due to the sight in front of me, I was about to puke.

”Really now?” He questioned as he took my legs and carried me bridal style, he took me and the four other boys away from the bathroom, he looked down at said girls body and silently motioned Yoongi, “Do you think we killed your family? That Kookie did?”

At the mention of his name, Jeongguk came over and kissed my cheek as Namjoon held onto my now shaking body.

“No, Kookie wouldn’t... right?” I questioned myself softly as I began questioning myself.

”No, bunny!” He lied, he was lying! Joy would never lie.

”See?”, Namjoon asked, “he wouldn’t lie to you, we wouldn’t lie to you, on the other hand your friends over there did. Irene knew about Joy, she even helped her. So how do you know the others weren’t in on it?”

”How do you kn-“

”Irene came to me about it, after she got injured, she told me she knew all about Joy and her plan, that’s why we went over to your house to be sure you were okay, thank god you weren’t there because a fire started all over the neighborhood, seven or so houses caught on fire,” Namjoon continued on speaking.

”Sweetheart, I’m sorry but we weren’t able to get your family out on time at all.” Jimin added on as he opened the front door.

”What-?” My family… was gone?

Why did it make sense?

”Mhm, we think it was Joy who did it too, I mean she already killed at least twelve people, what are three more?” Namjoon continued on talking, I shook at what he said.

“Hey, Namjoon help me ove-“ I heard a voice speak, but I couldn’t pinpoint whose voice it was, being too concerned about what Namjoon was talking about, he did sound familiar though.

“Jin, say hi to [Name] over here, she’s currently very scared,  but we’ll fix that, won’t we?” Jimin told the owner of the unknown voice, he sounded happy.

“Aww, is she? Are you sad? Don’t worry, we’ll be taking you to a beautiful vacation in a few hours so don’t worry, you’ll be safe soon.” Jin awed, he pinched my cheek it hurt but I couldn’t bring myself to show any sort of reaction .

Too tired to question what was really happening, I let them take me to the black van parked outside of Seulgi’s family home. I didn’t have it in me to fight, I wasn’t like my friends; I was alive and they were dead now, there was no use comparing us. As we walked, I couldn’t help but notice the strong smell that began floating in the air, were they pouring gas all over the house?

Why wasn’t I fighting? Was I that weak?

As Jeongguk opened the door to the van, I couldn’t help but notice how a few of my bags from back home littered the van.

”Why do you have my bags?” I asked with a monotone, soft voice I could barely talk.

”Ah, that was me, your parents had been noticing how you had been feeling off, so I had taken out your bags to go over to my house earlier that day,” Jeongguk explained, he talked too fast though, maybe he was lying but I couldn’t find it in me to care..

“Ah, okay.” I truly didn’t understand the logic behind that explanation but I was too tired to try to question them further, I was too numb.

Letting them pile inside the car, I lean against Jeongguk and slowly let myself succumb to sleep.

“Ah, Jin we didn’t need ropes or drug, I told you so.” Namjoon whispered.

”Hey, Namjoon, where are we going at the end?” Taehyung asked as he caressed my face.

”Far away, Tae, really far away”, Namjoon responded mindlessly, “So far away that people will forget we even existed here...”

————☽

Waking up by suddenly being picked up by someone, I peel my eyes open.

“What the-” I was about to complain when I began panicking.

”Oh! You’re awake?” I heard a voice I didn’t recognize ask, who was he?!

Looking up, I see a rather attractive male with noticeable folded ears smile down at me.

“Who are you?”, I whisper-shout at the unknown male, “And where the- where are you taking me! Put me down, sir! This is borderline kidnapping, that’s what this is! Let me down or I am calling the police, I am going to shout, I swear it! My best friend’s father is a police officer damn you!”

All the unknown boy do was smile down at me and hugged me tighter to his chest.

“Stop it this instant! Do not cuddle me! Who do you think you are?” I continue to toss and shriek.

“Haha, cute.” Was his only answer, this fucking bastard!

“I am not cute-“ Stopping suddenly as I feel the man going up stairs, I panic, “Where are we going?”, I ask less loudly, I then realized I had let the boy take me to who knows where, “You haven’t answered me yet.”

”Oh, we’re boarding a plane.” He smiled and continued walking forward.

”What the- No we are not! You are boarding a plane, and you are forcing me to board it with you! Who- I am so telling on you to the police!” I shout at him.

Suddenly arriving at the top of the airplane stairs, the man carrying me puts me down and opened the entrance to the plane.

Pushing me slightly inside, I meet with the gaze with five familiar males. Memories of earlier this day rushed into my brain.

“Y-you!”, I look at Namjoon, “You sweet talking mother fucker! Let me go, now!”

As if he’d gotten hit, he flinched and looked at me hurt.

“What are you talking about? I didn’t do any-“

”My ass! Go suck my spiritual dick you little fucker! You fucking drove Sooyeong insane, you killed my family with a fucking house fire you little dick!“

”We did not kill your family it was a house fire-“ Namjoon tried to explain to me as he stood up.

”God you must really like my ass, it’s impossible! We had the wires in the whole mother fucking neighborhood checked less than two weeks ago, so unless someone like you fucking tampered with the wire there is no reason for that fire! Do you really think I wouldn’t know my best friend? Sooyeong couldn’t even get the goddamn wifi working without five fucking youtube videos and her dad!”

”You do have a good ass.” I heard Yoongi remark, I flipped him off as I continue screaming at Namjoon.

“And we didn’t do it why would you think-“

”Because everytime you kill you make a fire to burn all the evidence, you dumbass! At least get creative and do something new! Don’t serial killers enjoy being different and unique and quirky or some shit?”

”How do you know?” Jimin asked slightly alarmed, the tension went from me being a little bitch to them all being in high alert.

“Do you think I’m that dumb to not notice how every boy and girl I’ve ever gotten close with dies? Look, I didn’t go around announcing it like-like it was something I was proud of it, but does that mean I wasn’t slightly suspicious? Like, dude, any boy I went three meters next to dropped dead, man. Like, that shit ain’t normal.” I asked dumbfounded, sure I wasn’t smart like Yeri or Seulgi but I wasn’t dumb either.

”Shit, if you realized than-“

”Ha, but don’t worry because you murdered the head officer in your case! He was going to announce it in a meeting in a few days or whatever but oh so lucky you! He’s fucking dead and in ashes because you idiots couldn’t think of anything better!” Maybe I’m being unreasonable, I’m fucking fighting with the murderers of my friends and family but I’m not afraid not anymore at least.

”You don’t understand! We did because-“ Jimin began trying to explain.

”We love you!”, Taehyung finished, “We love you so much-“

”Well, I hate you!”, I shouted at him, “You lot ruined so many lives, including mine! How the bloody hell am I meant to return feelings for su-“

”Wowowow, sweetie hate is a strong word, maybe you could say slightly displeased.” Namjoon remarked calmly as he walked over to Jeongguk and Jimin who were now in border line tears.

“Well, I have a strong hatred towards you!”

”Hmm? What’s with all the noise-! Hey, princess, you’re awake! Good, come on, sit over here.” A handsome male came over to me, taking my hand and leading me to a plush chair.

”Awww, you’re crying? Come here”, he took my head into his chest, “Don’t worry, I’m here, shhh, what did these awful, dirty, stupid, morons do? Come on tell Jinnie.”

I hadn’t realized I had been crying until he had remarked it, man, I really did cry a lot.

”T-they hurt me and my-“, I choked out.

”They what?” He spat as he slowly and gently sat me in his lap, re-taking my head into his chest not allowing me to look.

”N-no, they- they, I’m scared,” I cried into his shirt, “Please help, Jinnie”

I had no idea what his name was, was this that Jin dude, I could only blindly guide myself from what he had called himself.

”Y-you’re scared of what?” I heard him ask flustered, flustered by what? I had no idea who this man was or his name and he really isn’t leaving me with the best impression.

Pushing my head off his shirt I met his familiar looking eyes.

“T-them....”

”Awww, princess, don’t worry! They won’t hurt you, they’re with me. We’re trying to protect you, baby.” He smiled.

“F-from what? You’re the ones hurting people. I asked, all the changes in my mood began making me tired. I couldn’t think properly anymore.

”Shhh, babe, have we hurt you?”

”N-no?”

”Then, are we really the bad people?”

”I-I don’t know? Yes?” I answered as my voice broke in confusion, they were bad people. Why couldn’t I say so? Why were they so kind? Weren’t they the ones that were trying to hurt me? They killed everyone, right? But then, they seem kind so how would they do it? Maybe, it wasn’t them?

”Namjoonie, come here, tell our princess here that we aren’t trying to hurt her.” Jinnie motioned Namjoonie to come. No, Namjoon, he doesn’t deserve an affectionate nickname.

”Hey, babe, look up at me. We won’t hurt you, we’re saving you from the bad people like Sooyeong. You know, the girl who killed your friends and her family?” Namjoonie said.

No he isn’t Namjoonie.

”Why would I lie to you, hmm? Jinnie, Kookie, Jiminie, Yoongs, Taehyungie, Hoseokie and me wouldn’t lie to you.”

“Y-you wouldn’t?” I asked, suddenly everything was getting number and number.

The air smelled sweeter, my vision was hazy, I couldn’t think properly. I felt giggly. Suddenly, Jinnie seemed like the comfiest surface in the world so I threw myself into his chest, giggling.

”Ahh, p-princess, you’re making me blush!”, Jinnie laughed.

“I’ll tell the pilots to start since someone is too busy.” I heard Kookie say.

Hearing him stand up and leave the room, I lean against Jinnie further.

————☽

By the time I as suddenly woken up, I still felt slightly giggly from whatever had happened earlier. A sudden weight had been added into my chest and stomach making me open my eyes and look down at the male on top of me.

”Hi, umm, who are you?” I asked him.

“Your Jinnie,”

“No, I mean who are you?”

”Hey, babe. I- do you really not remember me?”, ‘Jinnie’ asked suddenly.

Looking down at him in sudden confusion I shake my head no.

”Ahh, such a pity.... I do, you know, remember you.” He said as he leaned further against my chest, “I remember meeting you the first time like it was yesterday, it’s engraved into my mind. Sometimes, I have dreams about the day I met you, about how I could have acted to make you mine. Yet I didn’t do that. Those dreams made me act like this, those dreams helped make my mind clear; that I needed to protect you from the bad people. Not like I don’t always dream of you. Every dream I’ve had since I met you is about you. Innocent and not. Dreams about what I could do to you, how I could claim you as mine and lock you up in a castle and protect you from there. God, the thought that you don’t remember me makes me so fucking sad you have no idea yet knowing that I can restart with you is almost like a blessing.”

He looked out the window as did I. As I looked out I noticed how dark it was, and how the stars seemed to make the sea shine brighter.

“I’m- I’m Kim Seokjin, I’m currently twenty-two and I’m taking you, [Last Name] [Full Name] being now seventeen years of age, to the farthest place I can find. It’s a pretty island that I bought a few years ago, in that little big island I made a whole village for you and the rest of the guys. There we’ll have everything, and when we run out; I can always buy more. I can run my business from there, that way we won’t ever run out of money and if you ever want to leave I’ll be able to take you away to anywhere...” He introduced himself smiling softly.

”Seokjin... like the Kim Seokjin from camp?” I asked suddenly.

”Wait you remembered?” He asked in shock, his eyes sparkled with hope.

”W-well not one hundred percent but I think I do?”, I answer in quite a bit of a shock myself, “You bought an island and built a village for me? You have to be kidding, there is no way you-“

”Well, my family owned it anyway but I bought it from my parents; it was practically a gift from them.” He answered.

”But still! You’re insane, who the hell spends that much money on a crush?”

”You are not a crush, [Name].” He laughed, “I love you! For god’s sake I made a whole little village for you!”

”G-god, you’re insane!” I freaked out, the effects of earlier gone.

A dulling look came over his eyes suddenly when I spoke those words.

”Princess, look, I have done way worse shit than buying and building a goddamn village for you. If you needed I’d start a war for you. So do what you do best, and be a good girl for Jinnie, okay? No cussing, no acting out of line, drinking all of the juice and no calling me a freak.” He whispered against my ear.

”What’s wrong with you!” I shouted at him.

Suddenly I heard shuffling from the seat behind me, and the boy that had carried me earlier popped up.

“Good night, what happened darling? Did the serum ware off?” He asked, he seemed tired yet he still smiled, he was wearing a beanie that made his ears pop out even more.

”Yes, it did, Hoseok could you please bring in some more.” Jin asked Hoseok.

“Jung Hoseok? Like star dancer Jung Hoseok?”

He didn’t respond as he fiddled with a bottle until he sat down at the seat next to mine with a little silk piece.

“The one and only, pumpkin, now close your eyes and you’ll feel happy again! You want that right? When you start behaving nicely as you do with this we’ll stop dozing you! Okay? So be good for me, please?”

He gently brought the silk next to my nose and I felt myself go into complete darkness, the same sweet air in my lungs again without me wanting it to.

____________ღ

A string of light coming from the barley opened curtains, followed by the sound of waves crashing against the sand happened to be the reason I woke up today.

Opening my eyes slightly thinking, hoping, that I’d wake up to find myself in my room. But I wasn’t. This wasn’t my room and most definitely not my house.

With fully open eyes, sit up in the comfy bed I happened to be laying in. White, silky sheets with beautiful lace designs, and pillows that smelled wonderful. The bed wasn’t the only dead giveaway that I wasn’t home, other than the rather obnoxious sound of tropical birds and the sea, the room was too.

The spacious room was adorned with clean, grey, stone walls. Walls that were gracefully decorated with minimalist paintings and photos of me and seven men I didn’t know, upon further inspection I saw a picture of what’s supposed to be the night sky the day I was born. A white desk sat in the corner of the wall in front of me, a desk filled with gifts.

At both sides of the bed, there were bedside tables made of glass and black wood. On top of them, each had a lamp and a picture frame of what appeared to be the sea, in one sat a remote control, a small white box and a ring box. In the other, sat a bunch of my trinkets from back home.

The room had a black, clean and shining marble floor, and in some areas had fluffy rugs like beneath the desk and a round glass table, with a rather beautiful flower arrangement, that was placed in the corner, next to the window, it seemed to take a good fourth of the wall.

Looking around once more I saw what I assumed was a closet and bathroom. Both of which, by the looks of it, seemed to be overly spacious.

Standing up from the bed, I looked down to find myself in a white, silk nightgown, quite similar to the fabric of the sheets.

Expecting cold from the marble floor, I was astonished to find that the floor was actually rather warm.

Now as I stood in the middle of the room, I realized how big it really was.

“God, it’s like, three times my old bedroom...” I trailed off.

Remembering the box that lies next to my bed, I rushed over to the bedside and rushed to open the package. Inside was a brand new phone, black and cold to the touch.

”What the-“ Turning around I run to the desk only to find it full of designer branded bags and boxes.

From Gucci to Louis Vuitton, my mouth fell agape at how much all of this must’ve cost. Not only the gifts, but the television, phone, computer and this very same room must have cost a fortune.

“Who the heck has that much money?” I ask myself quietly as I sit down on the desk chair.

A sudden curiosity came over me as I stood up and made my way to what I assumed must have been the closet. Pushing the black door I’m met with a closet as big as my room back home, filled with expensive looking clothes and shoes. Jewelry was stored in glass cases, the light casted a glittering shine to the diamonds and pearls, and a vanity sat in the far back, also filled with makeup. The walls were of black marble, they seemed to hold a certain shine to them that was only noticeable thanks to the beautiful and large glass chandelier that laid on top of the jewelry case.

As I walk inside what’s basically Narnia, I hear the door to the room open as a pretty looking girl looks at me and squeaks.

”Oh! Miss Kim, I thought you wouldn’t wake up ‘till later! Well then, I guess I’ll help you earlier than I thought!” She exclaimed happily, her smile was wide as she spoke.

“Miss Kim?” I asked her as she gently pushed me inside and sat me down in the black velvet chair.

”Yes! I’m one of the maids that are meant to help you when you’re with Mr Kim, other times I guess you’ll get called depending on which Mr your with! Honestly, I think you look cuter with Mr Seokjin!” She giggled as she began combing my hair, she was soft and careful as she brushed my hair

”Hmm, ah! I know, how about a dress? Yes! They said that they would appreciate if you could wear a dress today! It’s hot, so how about a sundress? A strapless one could do, you do have a pretty skin color so I guess a black one could work!” She chanted to herself.

”Okay, go take a long, nice shower and I’ll help you once you get out. Now go, go, trust good ol’ Chuu!” She laughed.

Standing up, she led me to the bathroom and directed me where everything was. She then left me do wash myself.

“Love, take as long as you want but do keep in mind Misters have been waiting for you since you’ve arrived!”

And so I washed myself. I tried to use the best smelling soap and shampoo I could find, to then using the best smelling perfume once I was done. Sighing at how good it felt to be clean, especially after all the mess from earlier, I take a look at the redness of my eyes and puffiness of my cheeks.

I hadn’t realized how long I had taken, but it seems that long enough for Chuu, or Jiwoo as she had also introduced herself as, to pick a black summer dress, shoes and beautiful makeup.

Giving me the dress, I change as fast as I could to let Jiwoo do her magic, maybe she’d take long enough to take my mind off things.

By the time I was ready, I still remembered all that had happened and Jiwoo had left me in the room, telling me another girl would come and pick me up to take me to eat.

So now, I was sitting in this foreign room waiting for god knows what.

———☽

”Hey, [Name]?” I heard Taehyung ask me as he gently nudged me.

”N-no...” I groaned as I covered my face with the silk.

“Yes, princess, c’mon, if you don’t want to walk I’ll take you by force!” He laughs as he lifts me up.

”No.” I groan as I turn around, causing him to almost drop me.

”Shit! [Name], we’re leaving to eat, now.” He scolds as he looks at his watch, he then takes my hand and exits the room.

I get dragged in silence through the modern and yet old looking house until we exit the building and enter the garden.

“Do you like it?” Taehyung asked suddenly.

”Like what?”

”The island?”

”I haven’t seen it much, but it doesn’t seem bad. But I’d rather be home with my family, not, you know, being kidnapped and living with a bunch of stalkers, it’d also be nice to you know, know whats happening? And like, be home and safe?“

”We aren’t stalkers, [Name], we’re just doing something important; taking care of you, plus, your family is dead.”

Staying in silence, I keep trying to ignore the fact my family was fucking dead and that maybe two of my friends turned out to be murderers.

Was Jiwoo into this too? She seemed to be so kind but then again, Joy did too...

Suddenly being pulled down, Taehyung took my hand and led me into a fancy looking greenhouse in the middle of the garden.

“Why are we here?” I asked him as he hummed a melody as we walked through arrangements of different flowers and exotic looking plants.

”To eat, silly!” He laughed, he squeezed my hand as he led me faster.

Once we reached the section filled with my favorite flowers, I began hearing chatter and the sound of plates being served. The voices grew louder the deeper we walked into the [Favorite Flower] filled space.

“Hey, princess, did Jiwoo give you you’re medicine?” Taehyung asked as we made our way.

“N-no?”

”Ahhh, we’ll need to talk to her then, but don’t worry! I’ll give it to you here!” Taehyung smiles down at me.

Even though there was nothing scary about Taehyung, his way bigger frame than mine and the smile that was etched into his face whenever he saw me definitely began creeping me out enough, as if he being my stalker and killing my family wasn’t enough reasons to be wary of him.

He stopped when we were met with a glass room that was seemingly placed in the middle of the greenhouse, he knocked on the door and let go of my hand, placing me in front of him.

The chatter died down as a maid opened the door and we were revealed six males and a few maids, who were standing to the sides. The men were sitting around an organized and pretty wooden table that was filled with delicious looking foods.

”[Name]!” I heard Jeongguk exclaimed as he stood up and made his way to us.

”God...”, I heard Jimin sigh, “Pretty....”

”Please sit down, over here.” Yoongi motioned to the end seat next to him and Seokjin in the head of the table in their end.

Jeongguk took my hand and led me to the seat as Seokjin took out the chair for me to sit. By the time I was sat down, the majority of the boys had already engaged themselves into conversation leaving me to myself when suddenly Yoongi began talking to me and Seokjin.

”So, kitten, how much do you really know about us?” Yoongi asked me, I suddenly remember his comment about my ass and blush slightly as he smirked.

Blushing even more at the nickname, I look back at him and shrugged slightly.

”Gosh, you’re so cute!” Seokjin gushed as he squished my cheek.

”I-I guess, not much... I mean, what I knew were only theories made by my friends...” I spoke quietly as I swatted Seokjin’s hand.

”And what did they come up with?” Yoongi asked, as he took my hand and gently caressed it.

”That you were the ones that wrote the letters....” I spoke in whispers through gritted teeth, I try and pry my hands away.

“Ah, so smart!”, Seokjin laughed, “Who was who?”

Both of them looked at me filled with curiosity.

“I think that you”, I pointed at Yoongi and Seokjin, “are Suga and Jin, and that him and him”, I pointed at Jeongguk and Jimin,” Are Cocky and Chimmy respectively”

I looked at the rest of the boys quickly. Out of the seven, I properly had interacted with all but Hoseok and knew little to nothing about Taehyung, Jimin, Yoongi and Namjoon

“You’re right!”, Seokjin laughed along with Yoongi, “Who else?”

”Ahhh, Hoseok he’s hope? And that Taehyung is V? And so that leaves Namjoon as RM...”, I trailed as a girl with a name tag that read ‘Heejin’ served my food.

”Ah, thank you! Miss... Heejin!” I thanked her brightly, or as brightly as I could.

“Hey, princess, look at us....” Yoongi pouted at me.

Blushing even more, I nod quietly, not wanting to anger any of them.

”You haven’t taken your medicine, have you?” Seokjin asked, causing Taehyung to look up from his conversation with Jimin.

”Yeah, she hasn’t taken it yet!”, Taehyung exclaimed.

”But she’s behaving so well!” Hoseok gushed.

”Yeah, but we don’t want that to changes do we?” Namjoon laughed as he took a little flask from his suit.

They passed it down until it reached Seokjin, who took the baby blue flask and looked me in the eye.

”Princess, how do you want to take it? From the bottle or with your juice?” He asked me.

”I-I don’t know-“ I stuttered as I blushed from the attention, was I child to them? Was this a game? I was a year from being a legal adult!

And how could I be so fucking weak?

”She doesn’t know, our baby doesn’t know!” Jimin awed as he sighed into his chair.

”So cute!” Taehyung agreed with his older friend.

”For fucks sake, I love her...” Jeongguk mutters with wide eyes.

What the hell is wrong with them?

”Want to take it from the bottle for us?” Namjoon asked as he fiddled with his tie, a pink blush taking over his cheeks.

”I-I guess?” I answered confused.

I took the bottle out of Seokjin’s hand a quickly chugged it down.

Tastes like the alcohol we’d sneak out of Jeongguk’s dad’s alcohol stash.

”Princess took it so well!” Taehyung clapped.

”Yes she did!” Jimin cheered as he leaned against his palm creepily.

As the other boys began talking with each other again and their attention drifted off of me I waited until only Seokjin and Yoongi were still quiet.

”Hey, what is it that you made me drink?” I asked Seokjin, I picked at his ring hoping to catch his attention.

”Ahh, just a little something to make you behave properly.” Seokjin assured me, he took my hand and kissed before setting it down next to the plate

”How?” I pressed him slightly.

”This makes you behave better, it makes you more well behaved for us, it’ll help you learn how to behave.” Seokjin tried to clear it out for me.

“Bu-“

”Look, darling, you’re done! You ate so well! Hmm, how about you leave with me now!” Jimin suddenly spoke up.

”Wh-” I had barely eaten, I hadn’t even touched the soup and I was starving.

”It’s my day today and tomorrow! Then again, I don’t remember anymore but dates aren’t important. So, let’s go!” Jimin pressed on as he helped me stand up and began dragging me out of the room against the judgment of the other boys. He quickly ran out and picked me up, now I truly couldn’t leave. I was getting tired and giddy by the minute.

“Let’s change clothes together!” Jimin suggested as he ran with me into the house.

———☽

Jimin took changing together quite literally. He brought his clothes to the closet, but instead of using my brain I let him.

The weird liquid they constantly fed me seemed to take effect quickly as I began giggling at every action Jimin did.

By the time we were done changing, we were both wearing matching outfits consisting of orange and navy blues striped oversized sweaters and light blue shorts, with white sneakers and socks.

”You look so cute!” Jimin squealed as he hugged me tight.

”Ha! Thanks Jiminie!” I laughed.

”Where do you want to go?” Jimin asked me as he took my hand and led me outside the other side of the house.

“I don’t know... let’s see a movie!” I suggested, not remembering that we were in the middle of an island the possibility of actually there being a cinema were scarce.

”Yeah, let’s go! In the village there is a movie place-“

”How?” I asked him as he took me down a path as we seemed to be walking down a hill.

”Jin’s family built a village here for their special workers, originally that is, so they could come over to have vacations and not risk having anything happen to them, they still sometimes come but not as often as a bunch of those special workers got ‘scared off by the bad vibes’ over here, as if....”

”So it’s haunted?”

”Nah, it was us trying to get them to leave so we could get this island for you! It was around the time you left, so we had a ton of time to make this place special!” Jimin recalled.

”Ahh, but how did you know I’d come back?” My eyes were dropping slightly, I was beginning to feel number and number.

”You’re very special to us, darling, there is no way in hell we’d let you leave us.” Jimin spoke seriously.

”Really?” I asked him in slight shock.

”Mhm, I mean, at least I do. I dunno about the others but I’m pretty sure I love you!” He spoke softly as we arrived at a town-ish little place.

There were a few people, people that looked very important and rich walking around. People that didn’t seem to like us, why?

”Let’s go, it’s over there!”, Jimin seemed to read my mind when he pulled me toward the cinema, “Let’s watch your favorite one!”

What Jimin had led me wasn’t exactly what you would’ve imagined. But it certainly was a cinema, black background and red velvet, cushioned seats. It was extremely modern in comparison to what I had childishly imagined.

As the movie played on, I couldn’t concentrate on it. Maybe it was because I had seen it over ten times or maybe it was because of Jimin sitting on my lap and cuddling me. No, it was because the drug was warring off, maybe they underestimated my tolerance to the drug. The more minutes passed the more conscious I was about the whole ordeal that had happened in the last forty hours. The death of my whole family, the death of my friends and their families, my kidnapping; everything.

Suddenly I began hearing the soft snores Jimin made while he slept. I looked down at him. One of my tormentors. One of the reasons everything I loved was gone. The more I looked at him, the more I wanted him dead. Frustration that had been built since I moved back into that god damned town was falling over me.

I was crying, I realized when a few tears had fallen into Jimin’s face. I watched as he moved a bit in his sleep as he smiled, muttering my name sometimes or even laughing.

Bastard.

In that moment I realized that if someone didn’t enter that cinema in the next few minutes I would murder that man. I would choke him to death. Scream at him how much I hated him.

It seems someone heard me as two males, followed by two females, came into the cinema.

“[Name]! Are you crying? Are you okay?” I heard Jeongguk exclaim as he ran towards me.

He growled at Jimin as he woke up from his nap in my lap.

”Wh-“

”Why is [Name] crying, Jimin?” Taehyung asked him seriously.

”Wh-“ I pushed Jimin off me, cutting him before he could even start.

I brushed my clothes off, in hopes of brushing him off me too.

“Because I fucking hate you lot, that’s why. What is wrong with you? You keep drugging me all the damn time and expect me to be cool with it? You fucking ruin my life in a few hours and think I’m going to be all lovey-dovey with you? You little fuckers, you all ruined my life!”

I straightened my posture and walked out of the building. I ignored as Jimin and Jeongguk broke down crying, I ignored Taehyung as he screamed at me to come back.

”What? Ha, as if I cared!” Taehyung shouted at me before he quickly realized what he had said, “Dammit!” He cried again.

”Bunny, come back!”, Jeongguk cried softly as he tried chasing me slowly.

”Fuck off.” I responded tired, “You really think that some random ass drug is going to make me be okay with you lot taking me for hostage or some shit?”

We walked out of the cinema.

”It’s not like that!” Jeongguk exclaimed, he was getting more and more frustrated as I spoke. “They love you, we love you! I love you dammit!”

”Love? You sickos call this bullshit love? You need medical help, Jeongguk. Cut it with your bullshit, are you really that desperate that you’re gonna up front kidnap me? And on top of that fuckery, you expect me to be in love with you? Like hell I will! I despise you, Jeongguk, I have despised you since I came back home. You were nothing but the biggest dick ever to me and then you pull up this bullshit? ‘I love you’ you say, bull-fucking-shit I say.” Pushing him as I walk towards the house, I look back at him. “You are so full of yourself it’s disgusting.”

Looking at me in shock, Jeongguk then straightened himself up and began making his way faster towards me. I couldn’t see his eyes as he walked with his head bowed down, yet I didn’t want to see his eyes.

”Look, bunny, I wanted to behave. I really fucking did, but this behavior of yours it’s not up to my standards,” he gripped my wrist suddenly, “and I call bullshit to it. You see, bunny, I behaved like a good little bunny boy because you liked me like that didn’t you? You wanted me to be your Jeongguk, and so I did because that way you’d be mine, right?  But it seems like you think you’re in control, that you don’t belong to me, and let me tell you sweetheart, I don’t like it when people take control. You promised me we would get married, you promised me you’d love me, that we’d be together forever, all if I was your little good bunny. And I did. But you, you didn’t keep your part of the promise, you weren’t a good owner. No, no, you went out there and caught others hearts and then moved out of town, you left your bunny alone with these impostors. I didn’t like it, I did not like it at all, and I’m making sure no one takes my owner away now, even if I have to make you my bunny.”

”What?” I asked in a whisper, yet he ignored me and continued on rambling.

”I’ll put a pretty little collar on your neck if you even think of running away, but you won’t, right bunny? You’ll be here with me, and you’ll help me kill them off. All of them.” He laughed as he began leading me inside the house, to his room.

“Ki-kill them?”

”Yeah, they’ve made your life a hell, Hoseok killed Mark, Namjoon spread rumors of you, Seokjin has poisoned you before, Jimin broke into your house a bunch of time with Tae, Tae stalked you and taken suggestive pictures of you and Yoongi, he started the fire.” He smiled evilly as he caresses my cheeks.

”B-but...”

”See bunny? You can’t trust anyone here, not even me, but unlike them I’m willing to do anything, within reason, to redeem myself to you, but no letting you leave, sadly.” Jeongguk then began kissing my hand and talking, “So, will you let me be your bunny? I’ll do anything you ask of me, I’ll be your servant. I promise you that you won’t regret it, just let me be your bunny again.” He pouted as he looked up and left one last kiss on me knuckles.

He then threw me on the bed and rested himself on my chest as he looked up.

”I’ll do anything for you, kill, cook, torture, plant flowers, anything, you can tell me what to dress, how to act, how you want my hair. I’ll be your doll, bunny, just say yes. I’ll protect you from them.”

Blushing, my mind began to race as my blood began pumping faster. My mind became hazy as I spoke words that I didn’t know if I regretted.

“O-okay, I-I mean, yes?”

Suddenly it was his turn to become excited, as adrenaline seemed to pump through his veins, his eyes got wider as he caged me in his arms.

”Really? Oh my- finally! God, I love you, I love you, I love you!” He cried as he cupped my face in his hands, tears began to stream violently down his face, ”I’ll be the best bunny!” He laughed as he kissed me in the lips, it wasn’t like he left me much choice.

You never truly learn how to stop making mistakes, do you?

________________ღ

When: Back then.

Why: Because she didn’t want to.

Where: Home?

—————— b e t r a y a l ————————

Blood. Everywhere. The room was drenched in the red liquid, the smell of iron attached itself in every surface the liquid was attached to, the sticky substance was dripping from its source to the floor and the surrounding areas. Patterns of blood everywhere, ceilings, walls, floor.

Mutilated. The corpses let out their rotting smell, it seemed to reach every corner and stay there, the smell didn’t fade, even if they had been laying there for years and years.

Standing in the middle was the son of a loving family, as he breathed heavily, as he stared at someone he never thought he’d hurt.

“Why? What did that poor woman do to you?” She asked him while tears pooled in her eyes, his eyes.

”Mom, you don’t understand!” He shouted at her, of course she didn’t; she didn’t know [Name] like he did.

”No I do not, you- look what you did! All for this girl who doesn’t even know you! I should call the police, Taehyung, what you’re doing isn’t normal! You’re going to hurt her aren’t you?” She yelled at him.

“Hurt her? We are talking about [Name] you know!” He yelled back.

He yelled at his mother.

”Yes I do, and I also know that this isn’t okay! Taehyung, do you think this is okay? Killing people?”

”Scumbags.” He muttered as his chest rose up and down at a dangerous pace.

”What did you say?” She asked, this boy, no this man wasn’t her son.This thing wasn’t human.

“They were scumbags, they weren’t people! They contaminated her, mom, they tried to dirty her! Why don’t you understand? I love her and she loves me back! I’ve seen it, I’ve fucking seen it!” He shouted at her as he took slow steps towards her.

”Wait until your father hears about this, I might not call the police but he sure will, he will not tolerate this!” The mother shouted at her son, her husband was a good man, he’d teach their son.

”Dad? He’s been gone for almost a year! What? Don’t tell me you thought he was gonna return now?” He asked her as he laughed, tears falling from his cheeks.

”Y-yes, he will and he will not tolerate this behavior of yours!” She tried to stand her ground against her own blood. This thing was not her son.

”He was with another woman, mother, he came back months ago, do you want to hear what happened with dad and her?”

He began laughing louder as he saw the look in his mother’s eyes.

”The secretary, mom, it was her; Heejae. You weren’t home when they arrived, I was though, I was here all along and I heard it all, do you want to hear it, momma? Hear how father cheated on you with that slut?” He walked to a small computer in the back of the room, he passed through corpses as if they were nothing.

The mother followed the son, almost like a robot, as he pressed play on a video. A video showcasing the most intimate act between two people; between her husband and his secretary.

“It was upstairs, momma, until they saw your car, they ran down here, my mistake was I didn’t lock the door, so they saw it all. He acted just like you said he would, but their phones were on their pants, they always are, but the problem is they didn’t have theirs on. And guess what I did Momma?” He looked as the tears streamed down her face as she looked at him.

”What did you do, Taehyung?”

”I killed them. Now tell me, mom, do you think that my relationship with [Name] is a bad one?” He asked as his mother threw herself at him as she cried.

”I-I-“

”It’s not, is it? What I’m doing is preventing her from doing things like this, now tell me, mom, am I bad?”

”N-no?” She croaked, her own sanity was falling down like sand castle, a human being can only take so much at a time before they fall into insanity. This boy was her son.

“See mom? Now, I don’t want you to end up like dad, so, will you help me keep my [Name] save?”

The son asked his mother for help. And just like any good mother, she accepted it.

“Thank you, momma, I promise you your daughter in law will be better than this dumbass of a father.”

———— m o m m a ————

And just like that the son’s mother set out to help him and his friends with all of their deeds. Of course, she didn’t cheer for all seven kids, that at this point she considered her own, she always hoped that her son would win the girl’s heart.

“Taehyungie, make sure you dress nicely today, you have biology with her, don’t you?” She reminded him every Wednesday and Thursday.

”Oh, yeah! Thank you, momma!” He’d always let her help him get dressed and fix his hair for her.

And just like that, a bond that should have broken only strengthened itself.

———— m o m m a ————

One day, the son burst out crying as he came in the house he and his mother lived in.

The woman didn’t work, as her husband had left them a great deed of money and her friend Miss Kim helped her, she was also in their sons secrets.

”Taehyung! Oh god, what happened?” She cried, the last time he had reacted this way was when his lover had left him to go elsewhere, since then all his friends and the families that knew had been trying to locate her and bring her back to them.

”Momma, Jin said- he said that baby bear was going to come back next week! She’s coming back, Momma!” He cried harder as he hugged his mother.

“She is?” She exclaimed she was ecstatic, finally her son was going to be happy again.

”Yes! I-I gotta make myself handsome for her shouldn’t I? Ohh, it’s been so long, what if she’s changed her taste? What if she doesn’t hang out Jeongguk anymore? What if she- she had a boyfriend?” He muttered the last part darkly to himself.

The mother chuckled to herself as she hugged her son, he looked older but he still acted like a little kid. This boy was her son.

”Don’t worry, Taehyungie, she won’t have a boyfriend, she isn’t like your bastard of a father, she wouldn’t cheat on you, and if she does, has that ever stopped you? You’re the best looking boy in your school, baby, she’ll realize her mistake in an instant! Then you’ll take her to the island and be happy there forever!” She hugged her son closely as he cried out his love’s name.

”Come on, tomorrow you won’t go to school, you know what? You won’t go to school at all this week, we’re gonna get you ready for [Name], how does that sound?” She decided as she looked down her son who was snuggled into her chest.

”N-nice.” He stuttered as he smiled softly.

That week, the son and mother spent a ridiculous amount of money to make the already handsome boy look even better. This woman was his mom.

———— m o m m a ————

And so it went, the boy updated his mother on his delusional relationship and the mother believed it and loved the thought of her boy with such an amazing woman as [Name].

Until the one day.

“Momma! Jeongguk said that [Name] is gonna hang out with him and Namjoon and that she might hang out with us too soon!” The boy ran to his mother shouting in joy.

The news caused her to jump in joy with her son.

”Oh! Baby, that’s amazing!” She hugged him as she smiled up at him.

”It is, isn’t it?” He laughed.

”Of course! Oh, by the way, the boy that tried to flirt with [Name] last week is in the basement, he’s sedated, so you can do whatever you want with him after you do your homework and remember that dinner is at seven!” She laughed as her son nodded happily and skipped up the stairs in joy. These two things are human.

——— m o m m a ———

“Momma, Momma! You won’t believe what happened!” He shouted as he sat down at the table with his mom and younger sister.

They weren’t siblings by blood, him and his mother decided to adopt her one day due to the similarities she had to his lover. The day they adopted the girl, they swore to protect her from harm. The son ended up as a father figure to the young girl and the mother watched almost as a grandmother. He liked to believe that she was his daughter with his lover.

“Huh? What happened, Hyungie?” The younger sister asked.

”Ahh, Jieun, we made a friend with the boys, her name is Sooyeong and she will help to bring my wife, [Name], to us!” The son smiled at the five year old.

”Really?” She asked happily.

”Oh, wasn’t she a friend of [Name]’s?” The mother asked, “Won’t she snitch?”

”Nah, she even killed her family! She’ll also kill [Name]’s friends so that she’ll only have us!” The son smiled proudly.

”Amazing!” Mother looked at both her children.

”See Jieun, you gotta protect [Name] just like Taehyung-ie when we leave to the island, okay?”

”Yes, momma.”

”So what will you do, Jieunie?”

”If [Name] does anything suspicious with one of the boys other than Hyungie I’ll tell Hyungie and momma about it so that they can purify her, then I’ll take her to drink tea and make her sad so she doesn’t do it again!” The girl recited by heart as she smiled, the two other people clapped and congratulated her.

”Yes!” Her brother smiled.

“Aren’t you an amazing little girl?”

——— m o m m a ———

“Momma?” She heard her son’s voice from the phone, she held her daughter tightly.

”Yes?”

”Are you on the plane with Jieun?” He asked worriedly, he needs his mom to be there with him.

”Yes, is [Name] with you?” She asked as the plane began preparing to take off.

”Yes, she’s sound asleep now. It’s so weird, it really is happening, momma. Ah, we’re landing soon, I’ll call you when we’re home, love you momma! Tell Jieun that she’ll meet my wife soon!” He made a kissing sound before cutting off the phone call.

”Momma, is it normal to do what we’re doing? Taking a girl to a place far away without her family, what if she gets lonely?” The daughter asked.

”It’s normal, Jieunie, we’re protecting her from those beasts that will make her cheat on Taehyung, not that she would, but it’s best to be sure. Plus, we’re gonna be her new family, so she isn’t going to be lonely.” Mother smiled at the girl as she curled into her chest.

”Are you sure, momma?”

”Momma always knows best, baby.”

______________ღ

——— m o n e y , m o n e y ———

“Hey, Seokjin, how was summer camp?” Seokjin’s older brother asked him excitedly, he hadn’t been able to go due to his parents forcing him to stay home and study but he was alright with it, he knew it was for his and his brother’s future.

”Ahh, Seokjung, it was something.” Seokjin commented tiredly, he was exhausted by how idiotic the kids in that camp were.

”Really? Huh, but what’s something, Jin? It can’t be nothing.” Seokjung pouted as he sat down on the couch next to Jin, couldn’t Seokjin see how lucky he was?

”Ah, it was okay, I guess, I was the second oldest though, so they put me in charge of my cabin, so I had to work with this girl, I think her name was Joohyun?” Seokjin told his brother.

”Ahh, Joohyun? Like Bae Joohyun?” He asked, now this was important, Seokjung smiled.

”Yeah, I think, why?” Jin mused, now this was interesting, was this the girl his brother had a crush on? No, it couldn’t Joohyun was fifteen, the same age as Jin, and Seokjung had said she was younger than him. Seokjung being only fourteen years old.

”Ah, was [Last Name] [Full Name] there?” Seokjung asked blushing.

”I think so?” Seokjin answered amused.

”W-well, you see, she’s the girl I have a crush on.” Seokjin confessed blushing red.

”Really? She’s like twelve dude, what? That’s creepy dude, what the hell?” Seokjin snorted, Seokjung pushed Seokjin laughing embarrassed.

”H-hey! I know, and that’s why I’m not going to act on my feelings okay? Anyway, she’s cute and all but she’s in what, fifth grade and I’m in eighth and the fact that she’s friends with Jeongguk, Jeon Junghyung’s little brother, isn’t going to help much.” Seokjung laughed.

”Wow, tragic, anyway, where’s mom and dad?” Seokjin laughed.

”Oh, yeah, they went out to dinner with this weird ass old man, dunno why, probably business.” Seokjung casually mentioned, “Anyway, Jin are you going to go to camp next year?”

”Hmm, do you want to?” Jin asked.

”Huh? Do I want to go? Hell yes I do, it seems fun as hell!”

“Then I’ll go, Jung, don’t worry, I’ll have fun for you.” Jin smiled.

If Seokjin could have something his brother didn’t and wanted, he was going to have it no matter what.

————— m u s t  b e  f u n n y ————

Fuck Seokjung, fuck mom and dad, fuck that damned company, fuck it all.

Seokjin, grumbled as he threw himself into his bed, why did Seokjung have everything?

“He inherited the company, the smarts, the good looks, every-fucking-thing, he has a crush, he is a crush, the money, the girls, he gets it all, he’s fucking younger than me by two fucking years and what did I get? Summer camp, summer fucking camp.” Seokjin whispered harshly.

He turned around in his bed and looked at the window.

”I could steal his crush.” Seokjin told himself matter of factly.

It was true, he got confessed everyday by some girl, even if he didn’t try so maybe if he tried he could steal [Name] from Seokjung.

”Yeah, that isn’t too hard, is it?” Seokjin mused. “But, what does [Name] like?”

Who was [Name] in the first place, was she mature? What did she like? Was what he was doing perhaps too petty? No, it was a dose of Seokjung’s own medicine.

That night, Seokjin spent it all looking around his brothers room while the latter slept. He found both something horrifying and absolutely amazing.

”He fucking stalks her.” He mused.

And like that he spent countless nights throughout the rest of the summer, rummaging through his brothers stuff, and during the day he’d stalk her to gather all he could to win her over. So someone would choose him over his brother.

———— i n  a  r i c h  m a n ‘ s ———

“Seokjin, oh god!” His mother cried in the couch, she bawled her eyes out in her own hands. Her son, her favorite son, had died.

”Your brother, Jin, he killed himself.” His father finished as he also cried, Seokjin knew that if it had been him they’d only shed a few tears, but with Seokjung? They’d cry a river for that bastard.

He knew.

”What?” Seokjin asked with, fake, sadness.

”Yes, we don’t know why, b-but me and your mother needs a break so we’ll be going on vacation for awhile, at that island we bought a while ago, anyway this isn’t what we need to tell you is that- you’ll be taking over the company.” His father smiled through tears. “Make us proud son.”

That was what his parents told him before they sent him to summer camp again, yet he didn’t want to go. Nothing else was said between him and his parents not that he cared, he had something more important at hand. He didn’t cry, why would he? He had killed Seokjung anyway, with the help of his friends that is.

His princess wasn't there anymore.

———— w o r l d ———

“I-I like you and I know I’m three years older than you, [Name], but you’re very nice and next year I’m leaving so I won’t be here anymore, really and I heard you’d move soon in like a month or more and I was like, wondering if you’d like to go out, not like a date, that’s like, weird but-“ Seokjung confessed to the blushing fourteen year old.

”Ah, you’re , but I like you anyway!” She smiled, she was not expecting that nor was he.

”You do?” He asked in shock.

”Yeah! And, yes I know I’m fourteen and that this is weird and all, you’re like what seventeen, but let’s give it a go while you’re illegal, ‘kay? After you turn eighteen it’s all gone! And if it doesn’t work you can forget me and if it does you can, like, totally wait!” She fingered gunned the boy as he laughed.

”O-okay?” He asked laughing harder at her antics.

”Totally tubular!” She joked as she grabbed his hand and interlocked their fingers and pulled him to an ice cream shop as they both chatted happily.

They were too happy to notice the group of four males glaring their way.

”Your brother confessed to her,” Namjoon gaped at the scene, he couldn’t believe what he had just seen.

”And she accepted him!” Hoseok cried, tears streamed down his face.

”And she’s leaving, leaving while dating your idiot brother?” Yoongi growled. “That’s fucking illegal!”

”He’s still underage though...” Seokjin commented numbly. He had finally realized after two years of stalking her, he had realized he had fallen in love with her too. But it was too late, and the fates hated him, and his princess was about to leave the kingdom without him. And she was now with that pig of a brother.

”Kill him.” Seokjin said suddenly as they stood up, he didn’t even think twice before saying it.

”What?” Hoseok asked scared, kill someone? Him? No way, he couldn’t even kill an ant!

”Kill him, let’s kill my brother.” Seokjin laughed.

”What the fuck, dude? You okay?” Yoongi asked worried, that wasn’t like Seokjin at all.

”Hell yes, I’m so okay that my brother stole the love of my fucking life!” He answered sarcastically, as he glared at the ice cream shop.

“Hey, guys, you said you’d do anything for [Name], right?” Namjoon asked suddenly.

”What are you talking about now?” Hoseok asked even more scared, if that was even possible.

”I say, we do it, murder Seokjung, he’s in the way.” Seokjin repeated.

”Me too.” Namjoon agreed.

”Okay, fine, it’s for [Name], right?” Yoongi asked, it didn’t take much convincing for him anyway. It’s not like he hadn’t considered murder before, he just never had the resources to actually do it.

”Yeah.” Seokjin answered him, obviously, who else would it be for.

”Hoseok?” Namjoon asked.

”F-fine, but let’s not get caught, ‘kay?”

“That’s the fucking plan you idiot.” Yoongi laughed.

”Anyway, how do we do it?” Seokjin asked seriously, not an ounce of hesitation or doubt laid in his voice.

”Fake a suicide?” Namjoon suggested, he couldn’t believe they were actually going to do this.

”Hmm, yeah, whatever. Should we call the younger kids though?” Yoongi asked as they walked the basically dead streets.

”Nah, they’ll probably snitch, plus Jeongguk isn’t in the best place with [Name] leaving and all that shit, he’ll need Jimin and Tae.”

”Yeah, so how do we do it? The fake suicide? What’s the story behind it, do we forge a letter?”

”We can make him choke in the new car dad gave him, we can lock him in the garage and turn the engine on, no one can survive that, he won’t be able to breath in a few minutes but just in case, we can leave him there for an hour or so.” Seokjin told them his plan.

And they all agreed.

And that’s how they killed their first victim. But it was too late, [Name] had already left town, without knowledge of what happened to Seokjung until years later, yet by that time she had bigger problems than that.

——— m o n e y  , m o n e y———

“Seokjin, aren’t you happy?” His driver asked him, he probably had no idea his brother died or that he really didn’t want to leave his home, he wanted to work, he needed to work.

”Not really.” Seokjin sighed as he leaned against the glass.

”Why is that?”

“Because the girl I love left.” Seokjin told him dramatically, he was the only adult he felt comfortable enough joking with.

”Ahh, how special is that girl?” The old man laughed, his voice was filled with joy and curiosity.

”Special enough I’d kill for her.” Seokjin smirked behind the old man’s back.

———— w a s  r e a l l y  f u n n y ———

If Seokjung had it, Seokjin needed it. That’s how you fell in the devil's hands. By mere bad luck and a one sided rivalry, quite a drama, right? At the beginning, he only wanted you for the sake of having something his brother wanted. But slowly, it became more about himself, and his needs. He needed you now, not his brother, not the company, you. And not even that overachieving idiot was going to keep you two apart.

Luckily for Seokjin, it seems like you didn’t remember either him or his brother. He now was the only heir of the Kim company in your mind and memory. He now had something his brother didn’t. He has you.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t regret killing his brother, he would’ve enjoyed seeing his face as he won you over.

But one can’t have it all, can they?

———— i n  a  d e a d  m a n ‘s  w o r l d —

————         

@nojamsnoham @camiliasmencles @yandere-hobi @spaceunicorn293  @prinnytaylor @mo-la @ggukkimari @ilovesomuchstuff @strawberry-leche

————

[justlightthefirstspark]

As promised, my analysis/opinion/thought piece on today’s MUWFC game vs Spurs. Everything is chronological which I feel like should go without saying but in the interest of clarity 🤷🏽‍♀️ but not everything is tagged to the minute cause I am an idiot that didn’t realise that that would be helpful til like the 2nd half. Also, if I missed anything, or got players mixed up or anything pls lemme know and I’ll edit accordingly! I’ve never really done any from of sports based writing before (I don’t think tweets count lol) so pls be nice, merci 😘

Line up as follows, I guess this is pretty common knowledge but you know, coherency and such.

Tbh it was kinda hard to see *a lot* of this game, especially on the far side of the pitch and by both goals because of the weather, felt like I was watching Silent Hill for a little while there, but I did my best. My wifi is also horrendous atm, and we all know that the FA Player can be problematic so there’s a very good chance I might have missed something due to a lag or buffering btw. Just drop me an ask if you notice anything that mightn’t be quite right, and I’ll fix it asap! Some ~analysis~ (if you could call it that lol) is more detailed than other bits cause there was a lot happening and today I learned that it’s kinda hard to write one thing and watch another at the same time lol

First half:

Quick, fast and almost successful start. A much-needed improvement on the stagnancy vs Bristol a few weeks ago, and obviously we couldn’t see the midweek game vs Brighton so I can’t compare them.

I have to say I’m not a massive fan of all the back passes, all the time. I think a more attacking FB might be needed in the summer, or maybe Ökvist should be given some time to acclimatise to the WSL soon? I was never the biggest fan of Harris last season, I personally don’t think she’s fast enough – she gets outpaced down the flank by attackers 90% of the time, which isn’t good. I think A. Turner is the strongest FB option currently, at least defensively, and she’s shown she has a decent attacking ability, and has a wicked long ball, as well as crossing. My only issue is sometimes those tackles of hers can be a liability, giving away unnecessary fouls. It’s almost like she doesn’t think before she flies in sometimes, which is a shame, cause I love them. A lot.

There were a couple of really good chances in the first half, including a great ball in and run up from Galton, which should have resulted in probably the opening goal but whether it was as a result of the weather or just misjudged timing and placement from both Ross and Sigsworth, the chance went to waste. Groenen had an excellent chance to net her first for United but unfortunately sent it just wide. Another glorious link up between A. Turner and Galton led to another decent chance, a gorgeous cross in from the right to the opposite side of the box, and the perfect header which unfortunately was aimed straight at the keeper. Very unlucky to head in at the break with nothing.

There was an incredible double save from Earps around halfway through the first half. I have to say, I have some anxieties with her sometimes. She is quite good, but has a tendency to make some silly mistakes, and doesn’t always make the right call for a save. But my god she was on her game today, even if a potential error might have led to the first save. Didn’t disappoint me anytime she was called on this afternoon.

A few frustrations started to show around the 30 min mark, a few sloppy passes and challenges making the rounds. It was also around this time that I realized I’d picked a pretty poor game to start this thing on because I could barely see anything.

Zelem seems to be back in form, which can only be a good thing. But I would very much like it if somehow she could drag some of the other girls back up with her.

There were a fair few soft calls going Spurs way, which I wasn’t entirely convinced by. But then again I’m probably just naturally biased towards my girls.

Another great ball in to Sigsworth from A. Turner which was just *chefs kiss* but unfortunately came to nothing. There was also a spin move either to commit or avoid a challenge, I couldn’t really tell tbh, which was very impressive, as was her chase down on Mitchell at around 43 mins. (Amy’s my favourite player, can you tell?)

Booking for Kirsty Smith just before half time, but I gotta be honest I couldn’t see it due to the fog, so I have no idea what happened. Couldn’t find anything about it in the United post-match report either so apparently we’re just deleting that from the history of the earth which is completely fine by me to be honest.

Second half:

My main takeaway from this game is that both Sigsworth and Ross always seem to be looking for the same ball in the penalty area, and there very rarely seems to be anybody else around looking for a potential rebound. I think that James (who missed today’s game due to suspension) seems to be our main (only?) front line creator and finisher; Sigsworth is fine, that girl works like a dog and always gets the job done, I think she may have just needed another goal to boost her confidence, but I have no real concerns with her. Ross, however, I’m not entirely convinced by, I think a lot of her finishes have been a bit lucky and flukey so far. I’d start Toone over her for the rest of the season to be honest, Ross hasn’t done anything that tells me she deserves the starting place. Feel free to disagree with this of course, this is just my own personal opinion.

56 mins – confusion has entered the chat. McManus ends up pretty much through on goal, and then the ref whistles for what I assumed to be an offside. So naturally I nearly kicked my laptop out the window. The ref then awards a United penalty, and I’m even more confused now than I was in the beginning. I genuinely didn’t see anything but did hear a few shouts from what I’m assuming was the United bench for handball, so I have no idea what happened here.

‘58 – GOAL. Who else? God bless Katie Zelem is all I’m saying.

‘61 – Hanson 🔁 Ross. I think this was a good swap. I don’t think Ross was particularly good today, and Hanson immediately sparked that RW. I would have subbed Ross off sooner but that’s my only issue.

’64 – GOAL – Sigsworth with a pretty perfect if slightly scruffy strike from a corner.

A much better corner than previous attempts, and Spurs hadn’t defended any of them particularly well. I think that we have a major issue with set pieces, I dunno what exactly the problem is, whether they need to allocate a new taker or whatever but before today had we scored from a corner all season? Lemme knowwww.

’65 – A few decent chances for Spurs around this time. One pretty clear run in from the right, and one or two shots bounced right of the crossbar and the post. Basically my heart stopped for about 8 mins.

’66 – I DO NOT WANT TO SEE BACK PASSES IN THE BOX AS OPPOSITION PLAYERS SWARM IN. CLEAR IT. I DON’T CARE WHERE IT GOES JUST GET IT OUT. (sorry for the caps but my anxiety was out in force this afternoon)

United started playing much better after both goals, think they just needed a kick up the arse. *Ahem* A confidence boost. 👀 Much better intensity for the final 30 mins than the previous 60 imo.

’68 – Another decent chance for Spurs, with Earps coming way too far off her line than sat right with me. Very lucky nothing came of that.

’69-72 – Around this time I started to get *very* confused between Amy and Abbie cause they both had yellow boots on and literally the only thing I could see on the far side of the pitch was feet. That was fun.

’73 – The wasteful corners made a return. Slightly less panicked about that one considering we were already 2-0 up but still, I would like to see the glaring set piece issue sorted asap thanks girls x

’75ish – Toone 🔁 Groenen. Man I love Jackie Groenen. She really has been immense for us so far, and there’s a definite difference in how we play without her.

’78 – Harris 🔁 M. Turner. I’ve said my piece about Harris above but man, can we take a second to appreciate Millie Turner. She never, ever stops. Literally the heart of our defence.

’86 – GOAL – Oh captain, my captain. Beautiful strike from a free kick just outside the box, with the perfect bend around the wall and subsequently the keeper to make it 3-0.

United were very obviously stronger in the second half, almost looked like a completely different team at times. Whether they just got the hairdryer treatment at the half (I would imagine Casey is terrifying when she’s mad.) or the goals gave them that spark they desperately needed to kick on, they definitely made up for all the missed chances in the first half.

’90 – 4 additional minutes.

’92 – Another United free kick. McManus found herself almost clear in (again!), but due to an unlucky fumble with the ball at her feet unfortunately nothing came from this one. Surely a 4th goal otherwise.

’93 – FIIIIIIIIGHT. Kinda. You love to see it. Spend a little while conducting some, scientific research 🌚 and have concluded that Toone was tackled from behind just as the ball left her feet, which led to the ~scuffle~. Have to say that Amy walking away with Ella was extremely 🥰🥰🥰 (This is my research - https://twitter.com/48hours8/status/1218896406020349953?s=21)

’94 – Red card for Tooney. I would assume for her reaction more than anything but the camera didn’t catch it so I guess we’ll never know. I would have thought a yellow would suffice, considering that’s all the Spurs player in question received, but apparently not. 🤔 I’m still kinda confused tbh.

’95 – Full time.

Thus concludes what was certainly an interesting match. Please enjoy this comparison of United vs Spurs chaotic energy from @danieljamesmufc

Also thanks for reading if you got this far, it’s a bit stop-starty and clunky cause I just wrote down thoughts and whatever as they came into my head and then pieced it all together later on. I also just wanna say that I was massively impressed with Smith today. She hasn’t had many chances to prove herself this season, but that combo of herself and Galton down the left was lethal today imo. 🔥

Some extra thoughts:

I’m not a huge fan (like, at all) of fans singing men’s orientated chants. Let the women’s rivalries develop on their own, in their own way, and don’t drag the vulgarities across! That said, I do think that particular group of United fans has the potential to be a very, very good thing.

Also, just wanna say that these are my girls, and I would die for every single one of them. None of my criticism is meant to be intentionally negative, I just tried to be as objective and realistic as possible, without being a fangirl lol. Even my faves aren’t immune to criticism unfortunately.

And this picture is now my favourite thing ever to exist

[purple-spring]

How long did it take you to become this well of a writer? Do you have any tips or suggestions? I want to make my writing more exciting and vibrant like yours is. I feel like it's not as good as yours and I want it to be the best it can be.

Hey there, @fangirlthatreads​! I’ve been sitting on this ask for a while and I do apologise for that, but I was so incredibly touched that you came to me with this kind of question that I wanted to answer it as best as I could, and create a sort of masterpost for writing in the process. I’m devoting my whole day to answering this, so hopefully it’s worth the wait :)

So, to answer your first question, I guess I’ve always enjoyed and have been fairly competent in writing. I wrote all throughout school, but never really got the opportunity to continue that in college, so I got a bit rusty. I only really started again recently (Sprousehart and Bughead were too tempting to resist), which has just been the most joyful, creativity-unleashing thing. I started simply by writing the beginning for “Tomorrow” because I couldn’t get the idea out of my head, and I had a very vocal cheerleader (hi, @jandjsalmon​) encouraging me to write the whole thing. I haven’t looked back since then. 

As for tips and suggestions, I thought about this for a long time and came up with the following, which I’ve tried to divide into three sections after the cut - READ, LISTEN, WRITE. 

Anyway, without any further ado, I give you –

paperlesscrown’s personal guide to writing 

—-READ—-

I mean, your account name kind of gives it away, but I’m sure you read a lot! But my #1 tip for writers is to read voraciously. I often think of it as fuel for the tank: you can’t put out what you don’t put in. When I run into writers’ block, it’s the first thing I do - I purchase a book for my Kindle and bunker down and read.

Three kinds of reading that I do:

Fanfic - This is a no-brainer. It’s important to expose yourself to the different interpretations of the canon and the characters you are writing about. I must admit that I’m not always the most up-to-date fanfic reader, but I am always hitting up @blueandgoldoffice​ and my dear friend @theatreofexpression​ for suggestions and recommendations. 

Literature - This is important, too. As amazing as fanfic writers are, there is a whole other universe out there of incredibly written original fiction (and poetry!). Anything I can get my hands on, I get onto it. It’s why I bought myself a Kindle - I carry it around with me everywhere to make sure that I am constantly feeding my brain with exciting plots and engaging characters and beautifully turned phrases. 

I often try to read specifically, too. What do I mean by this? So, for example, when I was writing “Apparitions”, which included huge chunks of dialogue between Cole and Lili, I chose to read One Day by David Nicholls, which I knew had a lot of earthy, realistic dialogue between a couple in love. When I was writing my first smutty fic (“In here, too”), I made sure to read The Boss by Abigail Barnette, which is an INCREDIBLE Dom/Sub series (which honestly every Dom!Jug writer should read) with amazingly written sex scenes.

I also make sure I read different formats - not just chapter books, but also longform articles, poetry, etc. I read a lot of short stories because I write exclusively in one-shots, so reading them allows me to see how writers develop plot within a limited word count. 

Writers’ resources - This is something I’ve started doing recently, and it’s made such a huge difference. There is a whole world of writers’ resources out there. I recently bought the Emotion Thesaurus, which is described as “a writers’ guide to character expression.” It. Is. Amazing. It catalogues an emotion and the different ways a character could express them (that way I’m able to avoid cliches or vary the way that the emotion is expressed). It’s formatted like this:

It’s quite cheap on Amazon and such a worthwhile purchase. You should also check out websites such as Reference for Writers, which has SO MANY amazing resources for writers, plus links to similar websites. 

Meta - Read analysis on your characters, whether it’s a recap from website like Vulture and AV Club or (with Riverdale specifically) meta posts from places like @riverdalemeta, which compiles all the incredible theorising from around the fandom. It helps you think about your characters more clearly. A good story always comes from a good grasp of character, and sometimes meta posts make a world of difference in understanding a character. 

—-LISTEN—-

Listen to…

1. A beta. I cannot emphasise this enough. Betas make all the difference between a good piece of writing and a great one. My forever beta, @jandjsalmon, has saved from terrible writing decisions and has also steered me towards incredible ones. @theatreofexpression is a constant source of ideas, headcanons and discussions about the show. The thing about betas is that they are essentially your first audience and an important first filter for your work. They are able to pick up on inconsistencies, disruptions to flow, awkward phrasing, spelling and grammar errors, etc. I often think about them as the midwives for our stories. I may be the one giving birth to it, but it’s the beta who guides me with how to breathe, stand, position myself, etc. and essentially get the baby out into the world (sorry for the weird metaphor, lol). Always, always try and work with one.  

2. The characters you are writing about. A handy tip - whenever I am writing, I put the show on in the background (as long as it’s not distracting), or interviews with the actors (if I’m writing RPF). It helps me to get a good grasp on their voice. With Bughead, I’m not much of an AU author - I prefer writing and expanding on canon scenes, so it’s important for me to try and get the voice, tone and phrasing of each character right (as well as the overall tone and atmosphere of the scene).

3. Music. Music can activate some really strong emotions and neurological reactions in us that help us to write well. Some people like writing to playlists (I made one for “What she wanted”), while others like listening to instrumental music. Both are fine, although sometimes I can find lyrics quite distracting. In terms of instrumental music, I listen to a lot of Philip Glass (classical and heavy) and Explosions in the Sky (indie and atmospheric) when I write. 

—-WRITE—-

I guess there’s nothing left to do but to write! 

Start small. I write a lot of drabbles, as you may have noticed, and those are just small writing exercises for me to keep the words flowing. Not everything you write will contribute to an amazing story, but it’s important to keep putting ideas to paper. 

Engage in writing prompts. These don’t have to be Bughead-specific. There are plenty of writing prompts on the net - Pinterest is a great place to find some good ones!

Do writing sprints. I actually learned about this idea from the incredible @tory-b​, who does this with other writers on the wonderful Bughead Family Discord. It’s basically stretches of 30 minutes to an hour where you do nothing but write. It doesn’t have to be perfect - it just needs to be written down. It’s a way for you to knuckle down and focus and not have any sort of pressure in terms of getting everything perfect. While my job and life often prevent me from engaging in these, they’re an awesome idea for any budding writer.

Practical tip: Google Docs is your friend. This is a tip just for logistics, but I write on Google Docs rather than Microsoft Word because it’s a lot more portable and I work on multiple devices throughout the day. I have Google Docs installed on my phone and I access it via my web browser off my laptop. This just means I can work on a story when I’m travelling, when I’m at home, even when I’m standing in line at a grocery store. I’m often hit by inspiration quite randomly, so this works really well for me. It’s also the best tool for betas - they are able to edit and make comments in a way that’s easy for them and doesn’t involve multiple file-sending.

…

Anyway. I truly apologise for that insane essay, but I hope this can help you (and anyone else). If you have any other questions, please feel free to send them to me! I hope we can read more of your work soon! xx

[sierrabinondo]

my first tour.

i’m currently sitting in a ford e350 riding down I-95 back to new jersey, to hurriedly clean out the rental van we took for my band’s first tour ever and drop it off at bandago. we’ve been up since 8:30 am, not an unusual time for us, but we’re running on about 5-6 hours of sleep. that’s the average amount of sleep we’ve been able to squeeze in every night of tour. nine nights straight away from home, a gig almost every night. and of course, as physically exhausting as it was, it was a week that changed us and challenged ourselves as musicians.

8/12 - asbury park, nj

day one was our jersey hometown show in asbury. boy it was stressful at first, and absolutely sweltering outside from the humidity. i was so stressed because i was in a panic (when aren’t i lol) dealing with a sinus infection. anyone who knows me knows i’m a nervous wreck. i am a perfectionist, and i loathe not performing at my best; i try really hard to be perfect. i was flushing out my sinuses every hour and inhaling my humidifier that resembles a mini-nutri bullet if they came in white and also had a vaporizer tank inside. i looked pretty ridiculous sitting behind merch like this but i wasn’t taking any chances. i needed to take whatever measures i could possible to avoid a poor performance. there were a good amount of friends and people who came out to support us and i didn’t want to let them down. i was also really excited to see funeral attire, the band we went on tour with, and for people to see the progress we made in the month and a half we took to rigorously prepare for tour.

the asbury show ended up being really great, and a couple people said it was the best they’ve ever seen us. i felt overjoyed to hear such awesome feedback. i was also just really happy i could get our tourmates and close friends in funeral attire a show in asbury park. we sold out of pretty much all of our ramen shirts, which i was hoping to save for the rest of tour, but we ended up having enough to sell at least one ramen shirt a day to somebody. it was also really cool seeing like five people walking around the venue with ramen shirts on lmao

8/13 - long island, ny

and so our week of tour began- my sinus infection lessened but it persisted. the next day was long island, and we were looking forward to reuniting with our friends in i dreamt the sea who graciously put the show together for us. all of tour, whenever we played a bar with a juke box i spent $2 to play “smooth” by carlos santana featuring rob thomas and it was worth the allocated cost of $4 for all of tour. the show was a ton of fun. however i strangely sang worse than i did the day before- which was weird, and frustrating, since i felt the symptoms of my sinus infection less than i had in asbury. i was extremely upset. but i was surrounded by friends and i tried really hard to put on a brave face. all the bands we played with were super nice and liked us a lot, we made new friends and people who came out to the show dug us a lot too. we finally got to gig with u blue who are also a blue swan-eque band. so i guess even though i sucked, we did something right.

as we were getting ready to leave to go crash at my close friend jenni’s house in bellimore, our van’s battery died. bandago mentioned when we picked up our van earlier in the day that the battery had died the day before, but all they advised was that we drive the van around for a half hour or more once we began our rental. they didn’t mention anything about being wary of the battery beyond that. kelly and cassidy straight up saved us and gave us a super quick jump, and we were on our way finally. jenni was the first friend we crashed with and she really treated us to a nice sleep and some delicious bagels. so glad i could get to see her for the first time in a while too.

8/14 - nazareth, pa

the next day we headed out as quickly as possible to make our way to PA. something i feared on this tour was that we would lose our personal belongings, or have something stolen from us. this did happen - our tour photographer julie’s power strip was stolen in long island. fortunately, we were able to help her replace it. what had happened as we arrived to PA and stopped at walmart, was that i magically lost my phone somewhere between holding it in my hand walking out of the store, and sitting down to leave for our hotel. i was pretty much convinced it was gone or stolen. we ripped apart the entire van to try to find it, ran back inside walmart to see if i put it down somewhere, and even walked back to a spot we had the van parked in for a few minutes. i was convinced i was going to spend all of tour without a goddamn phone. and then, it occurred to me- maybe check… the garbage? and christ almighty. in a swath of basura juice, there was my phone. i ran back inside walmart to scrub the SHIT out of the case and carefully wash the phone itself and we finally made our way to check in at the days hotel in allentown, PA.

seriously- if you have a band of 5+ people, and/or if you are willing to spare the expense, buy hotel rooms for whatever nights you don’t have somewhere to crash for free any night of tour. i realize this isn’t feasible for 2+ week stints, or for people who literally do this for a living, but it was amazing to have beds to sleep in and free breakfast every morning for about $12-$15 a person. i actually don’t know if we would have been as healthy and happy without having that convenience. hotwire was how chris donis from funeral attire and i booked rooms, and the rates started at about $60 plus fees and tax per night. and it was fun crashing in hotels.

we met up with our friends in funeral attire and ethan from whittled down who was doing merch for most of the tour for a quick swim before the show in nazareth. we love hanging out with those guys. my obnoxious laugh is probably amplified by 10 dB just being around them. seriously almost pissed myself laughing in the pool because the guys were playing chicken and then ethan was doing kick flips into the pool with the life-saving device hanging by the pool the size of a massive surfboard. but POOL TIME was over around 3:30 pm because we had to get ready to head to the next venue, which was stehly’s bakery in nazareth a town over.

playing stehly’s was sick. small place, but they give each band member at least one free treat of some sort. i got a couple kiffles- little pastry dough roll-ups filled with fruit jellies- they were soooo cute and so good. i also caved to a helping of six potato and onion pierogies after the show. the only concerning thing was that after the first band jetsam played - awesome instrumental prog doom band - we soon realized that the show didn’t have a sound guy. there was a small PA set up, and we had mics and mic stands missing. the confusion pushed us quite a bit behind schedule but enough people at the show were resourceful and helpful enough to keep the show moving. i felt like i didn’t play an awesome set, and we also had some technical difficulties with our click track/Interlude mixer, but the funeral attire guys still had very nice things to say about us, so i trust them haha.

i was frustrated with how i totally blew my performance in long island, when we had a decent amount of people watching us, and then had a great show the next day. i actually don’t care about playing to a room of few people; i consider any opportunity to play to any amount of people of equal worth to another. so when i blow one show but not the other, i feel regret for not winning over potential fans we could have had, had i just been a better vocalist.

8/15 - philadelphia, pa

so then imagine my absolute blind rage, when we played the barbary in philly the next day, and we played our worst show all of tour. we were truly looking forward to this show and we were so devastated afterwards. my top most anticipated three shows were asbury, philly and cambridge. we love playing philly, we had some great bands on this bill we like a lot, and we actually had people coming out for us.

we were just making sure that the band on before us had almost all their gear off before we could load on, it was a really small stage. but the sound guy beckoned for us over the PA to start loading on regardless. we barely got a line check and it set the precedent for the whole set. ryan was starting to have volume issues with the volume levels on the mixer, and then because our individual levels were out of whack one of us would be louder than the other, or too loud to hear the drums. it was a straight up mess. and i didn’t know if we would win over anyone at the show anyways, but i just wanted to play well enough to have their respect. i put a lot of pressure on ourselves. i put a lot of pressure on myself.

when i have a bad set and i can’t deal with the disappointment i tend to shut down. even if i try my absolute best, even if people tell us we were still good - i just, i don’t believe them. it feels like they’re just being polite or i’m being lied to. it’s pretty pathetic of myself and sad; it’s something i need to work on. i actually wrote the small verse of lyrics in the intro of this tour about that. i just don’t think with all the experience of singing and performing i have that error is excusable anymore. after taking my best friend laura to her car i started chugging alcohol. i told myself before tour i wouldn’t drink until the last day to keep my throat in a healthy condition - whoops. i was so pissed i didn’t care and we had the next day off anyways; figured if i chugged water before bed i’d be fine. and i was right.

even when we had bad shows, my favorite perk each night was just getting to see funeral attire play every night. their song “joy” is one of my favorite all-time songs. the drowned god, blueroom and flowercrown were awesome too. oh! and a super fun thing we did was place enormous orders for cheesesteaks and had them delivered to the venue. we got guest lists this show and two free drink tickets each too. not gonna lie, it felt cool haha. we also explored a bit and FINALLY did our nine month-overdue interview with our friend brandon from audio addiction.

8/16 - day off at delaware water gap, days hotel in allentown, pa 

the next day, our day off, marked the halfway point for our tour. the original plan was hershey, but we did delaware water gap instead. it was a much better plan. we started the day with the whole tour together at cracker barrel. we then started to head up to delaware water gap, specifically milford, PA to check out hackers falls and milford beach. this day started out as absolute dog shit for me because i was dealing with a kinda heavy personal issue at home. didn’t anticipate i’d have anything to worry about in this regard, and my mental health has been worsening over the course of this year. so imagine at this point how hard it was for me to hide behind my hair and not be upset the whole morning. i’m also a horrible liar so i was fucked if i wanted to lie and say it was seasonal allergies fucking up my face lmfao

on top of that, we were super behind schedule for del water gap. we were all supposed to go jump in the waterfalls together, but we couldn’t find the specific waterfall we wanted to jump in. and the one we did find, the one i sort of swam in, it turned out that the trail to the bottom of the waterfall was closed off- which i believe had a more ideal swimming hole-type area. oh! and the worst part! we kept forgetting funeral attire had a commercial van for this tour. and one of the roads linked to where we were, PA-209, doesn’t allow commercial vehicles to travel through. so on top of me dealing with shit at home and now feeling like i was immensely inconveniencing my friends, i felt like an asshole. on my fucking day off lmao

but to my pleasant surprise it ended up being fine, and insanely fun. funeral attire didn’t get to chill at the waterfall with us but we made our way to milford beach and hung out there for the remainder of the day. thank god it was still open we didn’t get there until 5:30 pm. a bunch of us were swimming, couple of the guys just read or laid in the grass, and a few of the guys were throwing around a baseball. some of them swam across the river and back, the other side of the river was new jersey haha.

that night we got together to drink VERY heavily and hang out. that was probably one of my favorite highlights of the tour. at this point i was feeling much better. i shared a fat bottle of some pink moscato with julie. by the way, it was so sick having another girl on tour. not just because julie is talented but is also a great friend and was just an awesome presence to have for the week. her and donis helped me a lot on this day, if it wasn’t for them i don’t know i would have gotten through it.

my band partied hard for the first night all tour. funeral attire has the absolute strength and stomachs to drink most nights and then still play amazing sets every day- we’re not there at least not yet haha. holy fuck i made it halfway through this post and haven’t mentioned TIKI TIME??? TIKI TIM???

so funeral attire kept a couple sweet luau decorations from the long island venue hahaha and one of them said tiki time- can’t say i can truly encapsulate what tiki time is in a short explanation. tiki time was when we drank, but tiki time was also sort of the entire tour??? so i might be beat for explaining it well haha.

so we got super drunk and sang to old fueled by ramen/myspace emo bands, and my bandmate jaime and i played a four-way battle of magic the gathering with frankie and fez from funeral attire. i had my ass handed to me but i’m still learning anyways, it was fun regardless. it was really cool getting to know the guys in funeral attire better, i was already pretty close with donis but i feel like i got the chance to actually talk and hang with everyone.

arguably one of the funniest moments on tour - my bandmate joe got absolutely TRASHED. he somehow managed to get lost lmao or jaime had to escort him back to our hotel room late in the night. and even after joe was safe with us he woke up at 6 in the morning when housekeeping came walking in so he got up to shoo them away hahaha and THEN- he PANICKED because he realized he didn’t take a room key when he walked out the room and shut the door HAHA so he called ALL of us SEVEN times, he also accidentally called the jam room in howelll LMAO and finally as he’s on the phone with our friend ed, ed was just like “ask for help” so joe pulled aside an employee. and as that employee was approaching to help and joe turned the door knob, the door OPENED. the poor kid was sooo hung over the entire next day.

8/17 - brooklyn, ny

the second half of tour began with our drive out to brooklyn and nursing poor joe back to health. both bands arrived to brooklyn around the same time. we briefly went to a dog park, and then went to a big thrift shop where bren bought the sickest light pink leather jacket. after about an hour or so of walking around, we realized we were out of ideas of shit to do until showtime in about eight hours. we were all hungry as hell, but half of us wanted ramen or pizza. so we split up - my bandmates went to pizza, and julie and i went to ramen with funeral attire and ethan. we went to zamurai ramen which was absolutely fantastic. the prices were reasonable, too.

muchmore’s was a cool spot- a handful of my good friends came out too, it was awesome to see them and have some comfort from familiar faces. bartees cox jr was one of my most anticipated artists we were to play with on tour, and just, wow. originally his whole band stay inside was to play, but when he could only play solo i knew in my gut i still needed him on the show. what an exemplary musician of genuine talent, he truly stole the show. his voice, god. some people just sing, and some people make you feel by way of singing- i truly felt what he was singing. it’s people like him that inspire me.

well UNFORTUNATELY, i blew it at this show again too. and it felt horrible for me, considering my bandmates still played well and we promised we wouldn’t let the philly set happen again. i hate when i encourage everyone to play their best but can’t even set a good precedent for everyone. i was insanely upset, but i suppressed the urge to despair. 

after the show we crashed with jaime’s friends tim and erica who - holy shit - really pulled out all the stops for us. we had to pay $79 to park the van in the city, but even in a small lower manhattan apartment they were able to make us feel so goddamn comfortable. beds for everyone, a dinner table set for all of us and incredibly nice wine. i wasn’t going to eat but holy shit i COULD NOT turn down what tim made for us - this like, primavera white wine bowtie pasta and some DUMB thicc succulent pork. holy shit it was some of the best pork i have ever had. they also gave us breakfast for the next morning. what ANGELS

8/18 - manchester, nh

as we awoke we geared up for what would be our longest drive all tour - manhattan to manchester, new hampshire. we had at least six hours of driving to kill in time for load in at 5. we took this opportunity to watch selena- aka one of the best movies ever. the rain all day was real inconvenient, but we were excited to now be in funeral attire’s neck of the woods- new england that is. this also meant we were in the final stretch of tour; the dread was starting to set in.

this show ended up being one of our favorites. we had an enormous stage! it was fun to perform on and i felt like i personally had a great performance. it was cool to look around and see my bandmates looking super content and as into it as i was. the bands we played with were all awesome, we also played with a cool touring package (glass half empty and crafter). i was so excited to check out pinnacle, i really love their sound and their vocalist is so sick. damnit i just remembered i forgot to buy a shirt from pinnacle. I DIGRESS-

so funeral attire showed us mr. mac’s in manchester, a spot with over a dozen kinds of mac and cheese. i wanted to get the lobster one but i ended up getting jalapeño cheddar. woooOOOOOOOW it was GOOD - but of course i could only eat a little bit due to the fact i had to sing and also, milk products and my body are not a good mix anymore :—–) so i saved the rest for later and ate some while watching funeral attire’s set hahaha. julie got the carbonara which had like three different white cheeses and bacon, i almost got that one originally but we both just swapped bites. hiiiighly recommend going if you’re ever playing bungalow bar and grill or going to a show there!

8/19 - cambridge, ma

our second-to-last show was in cambridge, MA- it’s like boston’s brooklyn. rob kindly put us up for the night in his basement, and after we packed up we went to explore cambridge. to my very nice and pleasant surprise there was a GODDAMN H MART - an asian supermarket - with a food court. so we ate lunch there! i got a poké bowl, couple of the guys got ramen and sushi, and julie had this amazing dark curry. we also tried café nero, really great coffee/espresso spot that is also a chain and i straight up just had no idea. there was a bao place (super soft dumplings, kinda look like lil sandwiches) next door that julie and i grabbed baos to eat at. i got the MIT and- oh christ i forget the name of the other one- but the MIT had lamb, lettuce, sesame seeds, pickled onions and spicy mayo, and the other had most of the same ingredients but with crispy tofu. soooo delicious. the guys also bought a couple records at a shop across the street from the venue.

the venue we played was out of the blue too art gallery, an art gallery that hosts shows. AND THEY HAD AN ALASKAN MALAMUTE WALKING AROUND NAMED XO. the biggest malamute i’ve ever seen, xo was so cute. had colored feathers in her fur too. this show was funeral attire’s hometown show, so we met a lot of the musicians they’re most friendly with and they were all so kind. i wanted to get oldsoul on the show so badly and donis and jess from oldsoul made it happen, just such a wonderful band. i got hooked on em from their litter box sessions, jess has such an incredible voice. and the best part was they were all so nice, ugh. rainsound and newfield were awesome too, we got to talk to the rainsound guys a good amount. i didn’t do so hot this night - i hit a difficult note but still botched a bunch of other things - but honestly i was having such a great night so it didn’t even matter. and it was cool to see people who love funeral attire as much as i do singing the words.

8/20 - attleboro, ma

for the last night of tour frankie put us up, we left his place around noon to go back to café nero and get coffee and breakfast before checking in to our last hotel. by chance, hotelwire’s best deal was the holiday inn in mansfield, MA and holy SHIT- they upgraded our room so that we had a sofa with a pull out bed AND THE ROOM WAS MASSIVE. it was bigger than my boyfriend’s apartment in asbury park. two fluffy queen sized beds, that sofa bed, huge flat screen TV, spacious bathroom AND the sliding door in the room gave access right to the pool and jacuzzi area. we went for a quick dip in the jacuzzi and swam before we each had to quickly take real actually showers for the first time in two days. we managed to all somehow get ready within less than two hours and make it in time for load in at 5 pm, doors were at 6 pm

the last venue was cool - it was another art gallery, patterson creations. it was really nice and brand new inside. after both us and funeral attire loaded in we still didn’t have set time info, but going by the event page we assumed we at least were going on third - so minus jaime and ryan who already grabbed pizza across the street from the venue, we drove to north providence quickly to get hot dogs at olneyville new york system. it’s funeral attire’s favorite place to get hot dogs. we all pretty much ordered the way they do which is two hot dogs all the way, that comes with ground beef, mustard, celery salt and onions. i was hesitant to get two hot dogs but i was glad i did, because the one definitely wouldn’t have been enough. well, i WAS glad i did, until i got a very unpleasant phone call ha ha ha

jaime calls me as everyone is still finishing their food, and he says- “the door guy just approached me and said that… you guys need to get back here because we’re supposed to go on second.” holy shit i YELLED lmao. somehow, every other band but us and funeral attire got schedules, and we were supposed to go on at 7:05!!! it was 6:25 when jaime called me and we were twenty minutes away!!!

we quickly settled our bills and donis took me, my bandmates and julie back to the venue right away. we tried to get bands to switch but they couldn’t. thankfully the promoter was able to swap us with another band, so we had some additional time to get ready. i knew the promoter wouldn’t have done that to us out of malice, super nice guy. i had just wished we had the info prior to doors. we never go out for food if we know we have to play extremely soon. i don’t even eat less than three hours before i sing. i was losing my goddamn mind afraid of blowing our set on the last day of tour.

and i diiiiid ha ha ha as great as we started out, i blew almost the entire set. everyone also lost each other a couple times. because of the fear of fucking up royally we also completely abandoned the mixer for the interlude tracks, which we had to do several times over the course of tour. however usually we’d keep it hooked up so that ryan could hear the clicks, this time we didn’t use them at all but ryan’s tempo was still fine.

i was devastated our last set of tour went the way it did and i just couldn’t suppress the disappointment this time. i immediately inhaled a glass of wine at the bar and disappeared for a bit. as grateful and proud i was that we had just finished our first tour ever, i felt an overwhelming sense of failure. if i’m not consistently performing every night, am i fit to do this long term? am i costing the progress of our band? i worked so hard to be the best i could before we left. extra band practices and singing lessons. i did my best to proactively be aware of breathing technique while singing. is this just not in the cards for me? am i wasting my time and my bandmates time? it’s not a waste of time if it’s something i love, but am i an idiot to keep going? i know change doesn’t happen overnight, but i’ve been at this for so goddamn long now. even if i had confidence on stage to mask any evidence of error, my imperfect performance is still up for criticism. and that’s fair. i’m just afraid i’m sabotaging my own band.

after i was done cradling a box of tissues and watching newfield, i gathered my bandmates and my friend ben (we actually met on this site years ago lmfao he’s from worcester nearby the venue) to go get shit to mix alcohol with for after the show. i was also insanely depressed that funeral attire had to go home right after the show for work early the next day, so no post-show celebratory hangs. we had this stupid huge hotel room to have tiki time in and no funeral attire, we could have fit all twelve of us so comfortably.

but the saving grace of the night was singing flowers with funeral attire. what a FUn number but in all seriousness, my second favorite funeral attire song. their split with i dreamt the sea, the split that song is from, is sooo great. that perked me up a lot. 

after we parted ways with funeral attire we picked up a fat order of taco bell and went back to the hotel to eat, sad drink and watch the lion king. we spent the night sitting around in our new funeral attire merch just shooting the shit, and drinking until we fell asleep. we were easily dreading going back home, but hopeful for what the fall will bring for us as a band and to get back to EP 3 planning.

i know we’ll get to do this again. i just hate that i don’t know when right now. had some pretty bad financial scares on the road, and felt so tired i passed out in the van constantly, but i could sincerely do this forever.

i guess i also should maybe attribute some credit to the fact that chris donis and i booked this tour without any help from any booking company. no guarantees but we at least got something every night. i really don’t know what i would have done without him. i also realized maybe i have more ability as someone in the industry than i think. i feel slightly more knowledgeable now.

now that we know what it’s like to be on the road gigging every night, we can be sooo much more prepared next time. and i’m hoping to redeem myself, and i hope i can be better than ever. jeremiah was right when i called him last night crying - i’m an infinitely better vocalist than i was a year ago. i just hope our progress as a band now is enough to show people we have what it takes.

[japanessie]

Hey! I found your blog recently and I also just started listening to MFS and I really like their music. I'm a bit lost as to where to start to learn more about them and their motivation/thoughts behind their music since it's been a couple years since they've debuted. What would you suggest?

Hello (^^)v Welcome to the fandom.

I’m guessing you probably discovered them through their more popular songs like ALONE, 不可逆リプレイス or the more recent ones like Missing You. Firstly, too many people get caught up in singer Hiro’s family relations and ignore the other members. So, I would highly encourage a new fan to NOT follow that crowd XD

There are basically 4 aspects to MFS that all fans need to know OR you won’t understand the band and what diehard fans talk about:

1. Band members & the personnel changes.2. Their musical roots especially the main songwriter Sho Tsuchiya + their twin band named fromus.3. Hiro’s lyrics in relations to his life story.4. The important people in their team especially their boss GEN, A&R exec KTR (Kentaro Suzuki) from Japan Music System (JMS) & circle of friends. Also, their earliest mentor K ( Kei Goto) the late singer of Pay Money To My Pain (PTP).

BAND MEMBERS

1. Sho Tsuchiya ~ leader, guitarist, main composer (currently only functions behind the scene & as a non-touring member)2. Nob @ Nobuaki Katou ~ bassist3. Teru @ Teruki Nishizawa ~ guitarist (many like to categorize him as rhythm guitarist when Sho was in but I personally disagree because he played both lead & rhythm guitars even from the 1st album)4. Kid'z ~ drummer (officially joined on 3 Mar 2016)5. Hiro @ Hiroki Moriuchi ~ vocalist, lyricist6. Masack @ Masaki Kojima ~ drummer (officially left on 3 Mar 2016)

Note: MFS current members “deactivated" from public social media in early 2016. So, don’t bother looking XD

PERSONNEL CHANGES

Sho’s hiatus:Sho remains as a member. He announced his hiatus in October 2015. I won’t call it “inactive" like some people do because he’s still composing with them and most recently served as the Sound Producer for ANTITHESE. He’s just not a touring member for now. He didn’t give specific reason other than family matter.

Drummer change:Masaki didn’t state why he left but it looked like he didn’t want to be tied down to only one genre of music. He was active playing outside MFS before his departure. So, he probably wanted that musical freedom even though he loves MFS. But his decision was enough to badly crush the two youngest members at the time, Hiro and Teruki, from what I observed. Those two younger men were still emotionally dealing with Sho’s hiatus at that moment.  Kid'z is their friend / labelmate who had always got along well with Teru & Hiro. He had worked together with Sho & Nob before too. Co-incidentally, his band officially split up in Nov 2015. So, he was the natural choice to replace Masaki. But Kid'z was drumming as a sessionist musician for singer ナノ(nano) at the time MFS took him. He stopped using his real name and took on a stage name Kid'z* after that. 

* I personally don’t use his real name in public anymore out of respect for his decision. Understandably, he was initially worried about MFS fans’ reaction. Also, it was and probably still is an awkward situation for him regarding his former bandmates when their band split up and he went to their biggest rival band just a few months later. So, I chose to respect his wish to start anew.

THEIR BEGINNING

On my blog so far, the interview that tells their formation year story the most is this one from GEKIROCK.

MFS GEKIROCK Interview March 2016 Translation

The band did describe how they got together in this video interview around minutes 01:42 to 02:58.

My Japanese listening ability is not up to that point yet though, sorry. Hiro explained how he and Sho met at a PTP concert. Couldn’t catch what Sho said about Hiro & Masaki with the music playing in the background :-/ Hiro also said he and Teru knew each other when they were high school students. Well, the GEKIROCK interview is a pretty good picture of their history.

FOR OLD PHOTOS of MFS, check out these places:

My First Story Unofficial fanpage on FBMy First Story Thailand fanpage on FBex-drummer Masaki Kojima’s Twitter @kojimasa 

THEIR TWIN BAND fromus

Ignore whatever musical comparison people made about them and OOR. The real band to compare MFS to is their real twin band fromus, a piano-rock unit. I made an entry about them here.

http://japanessie.tumblr.com/post/140215899677/meet-fromus-mfs-real-twin-band

I personally feel that musically, MFS first two albums are the direct guitar edition fromus. Just take MFS, change the singer & then the guitars to piano. You’ll get fromus.

OTHER MUSICAL INFLUENCES

They do have influences from old school hard rock & metal. Sho and Nob are already in their 30s. Both men said they started on guitar with British rock legend Deep Purple’s Smoke On The Water. Guitarist Teruki grew up with a heavy-metal-music-loving father and would often cite Ozzy Osbourne and Metallica as his early influences.

DISCOGRAPHY

If you want to see their musical & lyrical evolution, try to listen to their songs chronologically from the 1st album to the current work.

Albums & Singles

1. MY FIRST STORY ~ MV Second Limit & Take It Back2. THE STORY IS MY LIFE ~ MVs The Story Is My Life & The Reason3. 最終回STORY (Saishukai STORY)4. BONEDS (a joint 4-band project in which they contributed 2 songs)5. BLACK RAIL ~ MVs Black Rail & FAKE6. 不可逆リプレイス ( Fukagyaku Replace) ~ their breakthrough song IMO7. 虚言NEUROSE ~ MVs 虚言NEUROSE, Child Error & Someday (lyrics MV available on Livehouse iOS App & STORYTELLER website)8. ALONE ~ MVs ALONE & 失踪FLAME * 9. ANTITHESE ~ MVs The Puzzle (exclusive for STORYTELLER members only), Missing You (there’s another STORYTELLER-only version too) & Last Call

Update: 12 Jan 2017. Sorry I forgot the MVs from the ALONE single XD

They also have a special 2-track single dedicated to band leader Sho Tsuchiya, released to the public at the Budokan called:

We’re Just Waiting 4 You (available at MAGIC ROOM while stock lasts)

DVD Collection so far:

1. THE STORY IS MY LIFE Final at Shibuya Club Quattro (bundled with 最終回STORY) ~ the only official DVD released when Hiro still sported his natural black hair colour.2. The Ending of the Beginning at Ebisu Liquidroom.3. BONEDS Tour Movie (with AIR SWELL, BLUE ENCOUNT, SWANKY DANK).4. ITSUWARI NEUROSE Tour Final at Shinkiba Studio Coast.5. MFS at A.V.E.S.T. Vol.9 (released as a free bonus for ANTITHESE Pre-order)

TIDBITS Info (^_-)

Hiro called 虚言NEUROSE creation process as “creating a human-like superhero" & the sound as “listening to the radio in the city“. Does that make any sense to you? LOL. Read what he said in this interview:

Hiro’s Interview with Rockin’ On Japan magazine Jan 2015

HIRO’s LYRICS

Sho let Hiro be in charge of lyrics writing from the start (from an interview for Yamaha Music).

Hiro comes from a famous family thanks to his parents and his successful brother. As a result, he was heavily thrashed on the internet by people who disliked his “easy entry” into the music industry. Hiro used to be very active on Twitter but the criticism against him soon turned into cyber-bullying. I personally had seen the cruel things people wrote about him on Japanese 2ch forum.

I can only guess what happened that drove Hiro to leave social media. Other than abusive online comments, some people probably took advantage of his Twitter presence by sending inappropriate messages or even being intrusive about his brother Taka’s personal life. He tweeted an angry response about 2ch on 14 Feb 2013. Then he wrote on his blog on Ameblo (now deleted / deactivated(?)) that “people’s words can hurt". A few months later, he tweeted “I started blocking fucked up people" in English. Not long after, he tweeted his final tweet “Goodbye forever" and abandoned Twitter in Sept 2013.

He then channeled his anger through the song BLACK RAIL in 2014. He explained it in this interview.

Hiro MFS Rolling Stone Japan Aug 2014 Interview Translation

From then on, a lot of his lyrics reflected what he was going through while writing them.

It must be noted that the special project singles ALONE & 不可逆リプレイス (Fukagyaku Replace) were written for the themes of those projects. Hiro talked at length about ALONE around its release and there are a bunch of them that I posted on this blog.

For details on ALONE Project with HAL College, read these posts:

HAL Project Special Musician Interview with MFS Translation

MY FIRST STORY Flying Postman Interview Translation

Hiro’s ALONE Blog Translation

What is HAL Project & HAL College?

不可逆リプレイス / Fukagyaku Replace was made for the historical anime Nobunaga Concerto. Interesting to note that Hiro wrote the lyrics not from the main character Saburo’s point of view but the other guy Michi. The lines, “I don’t know why but you saved me ………… “ all the way to “I will follow you ….. keep you close to me,” were directly inspired by what Michi said to Saburo in the finale or Episode 10.

The lyrics of Someday are for the late K.Hiro said in Kaohsiung, Taiwan that “This is a very important song to me,“.

His blog entry translation on K’s death

ANTITHESE Lyrics & Hiro’s personal stories

The Puzzle & Tomorrowland are about his heartbreak over Masaki’s departure.Home is about his family who split up after his parents divorced.

IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN MFS TEAM1. GEN ~ boss, owner of INTACT Records, owner of Zephyren, organizer of AVEST Project, formerly of Subciety clothing brand.Twitter : @Zephyren_genInstagram : Zephyren Gen2. KTR (Kentaro Suzuki) ~ A&R + marketing exec of JMS, marketing exec of Deviluse clothing, regularly seen at MFS video shoots and concerts.Twitter : @kkktttrrr, Instagram: Kentaro Suzuki3. The late K @ Kei Goto ~ vocalist of Pay Money To My Pain (PTP), mentor in MFS early days.4. Nori (producer), Makiko (merchandising) but she’s better known now as the lady who covered Rassungorerai with Hiro XD

* Update (Jan 2018): I believe Makiko is not in the staff team anymore but she remains a close friend. Here is the YouTube link to the video of her and Hiro.5. Japan Music System (JMS) ~ the music distribution company specializing in indie music and the one that markets/promotes MFS musicYouTube Channel: JMSTVOnline shop for bands’ merchandise: MAGIC ROOM ONLINE STORE

5. Circle of friends among many:  Shirakawa-san (SAKAEYA clothing shop manager) ~ the members regularly visit his shop.Twitter: @sakaeyatenchonano, SWANKY DANK, AIR SWELL ~ artists they had musically collaborated with.

The funny interview with Hiro & KOJI about the Sink Like A Stone collaboration in which Hiro admitted the song’s high notes were difficult to sing is here.

STORYTELLER Fan Clubhttps://xxxstorytellerxxx.comAll MFS members let go of their individual public social media after the club was launched in 2016. If you’re interested to join, feel free to ask questions on how to do that.

In case you have an iOS mobile device ……..

JMS created a Japan-only iOS App called LIVEHOUSE where they feature videos from JMS artists. The videos vary from live performances, interviews, behind the scenes etc. However, if you create a different Apple ID specifically for Japan iTunes account, you can still download the App and watch those videos even if you don’t live in Japan.

*Update (12 Jan 2017): You will then get to watch videos like this one!

**Update (15 June 2017): JMS decided to stop the App by 31 May 2017.

Lastly yet very important, don’t believe any ridiculous claim about Hiro and his brother Taka hating each other because they don’t. You’ll find such comments at some point, I’m sure. These two brothers love and support each other away from the public eye and rightfully keep their family relationship private.

I hope that will give you a good start (^_-)