#anxieties of 2017
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Twitter shouldn't be the only one to see the video version of this
I was waiting for Tumblr to be grumpy about the size so it's really just the Loop talk
#isat#isat spoilers#act 6 spoilers#in stars and time#I'm main tagging this oh god#isat siffrin#isat loop#isat shitpost#isat au#I'd say “isat mod” but that's a ton of planning for me alone#also I'm extremely self-conscious about everything when I'm not extremely curious about something#like this thing is giving me anxiety from how it's literally just an add to the game with Loop in it#because again. those sprites make me think a lot and this is exactly what I was thinking#(not quite but I struggled with Act 6 2hats map and it won( )#I really want to try more though#for research purposes#I love how isat is written - coding wise - I just look at it and go IT'S SO INTERESTING and just learn how did one lead to another and stuf#it's like how I was with undertale back in 2017 BUT I never learned how to open undertale or see the code aside from saves#and learning how to manipulate them was so fun!#sadly isat saves are written differently so I can't do that manually#but I DO have like 7 Act 6 saves#anyway a fun fact - this save is actually pre-2hats battle I checked at the end but cut that out#so basically in this scenario there are two Loops at once! what a miracle!#but honestly Loop is literally based on how Head Housemaiden is written I checked Isa's dialogues to check where did I make a mistake#and basically all other stuff was me dealing with editing sprites bc Loop has only a walk cycle and this one has all sprites to rotate#anyway! that's that!#video#human loop#also Siffrin faces are so much fun to choose from I love them
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muching on bugs and frogs since 2017 ദ്ദി˙-˙ )✧
#I’ve been playing botw non stop because it really helps with my anxiety and I love this game and link SO MUCH#remember in like 2017 or 2018 when everyone was posting their linksonas… can we bring that back please#my link is an off putting little freak who is a little too in touch with nature#zelda#loz botw#botw link#zelda botw#his belt is the wrong way just don’t look at that hahaaaaah
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Don't be scared - Chapter 1
This is the first chapter - Next
A Pennywise X F!Reader fanfic 'cause I need to get these ideas out of my head before they eat me up. I'll post this thing on AO3 when I'm not so lazy to create an account. If I go ahead with it, it'll be NSFW, sexually disturbing, gory, violent, reader is an autistic drepressed suicidal girl… In short, skip it if you're a sensitive soul. For the rest of you, enjoy (I hope).
(Note: It was translated by Deepl, English is not my mother tongue, so I apologise for any mistakes. If you want to correct me, don't hesitate!)
(Note 2: The image is by @fandomscreenshots but you should already know that because what she does is amazing)
You've always lived in Derry, Maine. Well, actually you were born in Derry, went to school in Derry and, like any good citizen, you now work in Derry. You don't like it, you never have, and you know that no matter what you do, you'll never like it.
Firstly, because no matter how hard you try since childhood, you just can't seem to make any friends. Worse, people seem to have agreed to shut you out and hate you. At best, they ignore you, at worst… well, let's just say there are certain people you've learned to avoid at all costs, so you don't have to spend the evening licking your wounds…
Secondly, because there's something unhealthy about the general atmosphere of this town, as if it were being devoured by a cancer that affected not only the surrounding greenery, but also the buildings and even the people. A cancer that could be called suffering, melancholy or despair. And although no one knows where these feelings come from, everyone seems to accept them as an inevitable burden.
Tonight, like most evenings, you're working at the Canal Rouge, a rather quiet bar where people can drink and listen to local artists perform on a small stage. You're a waitress, and it's not the most pleasant of jobs, especially when you're a woman. Fortunately, your boss is a woman too, and she's very strict about the respect customers show her staff, so things could be a lot worse.
But tonight, you're in a particularly bad mood. Fatigue has always been a difficult thing for you to deal with, and lately your nights have been… tormented. You've been having a dream, always the same with little difference, on and off for over a week. It's a hazy, dark, incoherent dream that's hard to remember. What you remember most is anguish, fear… and an unbearable feeling of being watched by something dangerous, making you feel like prey waiting to be devoured. When your therapist asked you to describe this dream, even with random words, you said 'fear', 'red' and… 'clown'. You laughed after saying that last word, a nervous, uncontrolled laugh, like a continuation of the one you always hear in this dream before waking up.
But tonight, the worst is yet to come, because you have to serve Jenny's gang as consumers, young people your own age who, like you, are stuck in Derry and like to pass the time by annoying other people. Especially you, since you met them in kindergarten. You know you won't be able to get home safely tonight…
And your fears are confirmed as you finish your shift. As you emerge into the alley to which the service door leads, you see them laughing at the end of it, looking in your direction. This is the way home. You quickly think of another option, but you know that even if you take a longer route, they'll be able to corner you sooner or later, and that's what they'll do. Unless… you go through the forest…
You don't hesitate, knowing that your pursuers won't follow. Their parents have given them the same instructions as you: never go into the forest at night. Ever. Your father had made it clear that he meant business by emphasizing his order with the back of his hand. But tonight, you're a grown-up, and between your dead father's old superstitions and Jenny and her gang's guaranteed beating, the choice was quickly made.
You head into the forest, at first more worried about your pursuers who, as expected, quickly abandon their target. Then you decide to turn on the torch on your phone, as it quickly becomes very dark between the tightly packed trees in the middle of the night. You recognize the path you're on and follow it to the ancient oak tree where you used to climb as a child to escape the bullies. But even this place, reassuring by day, gives off a menacing aura by night…
All is quiet, too quiet for a forest where animals should be going about their nocturnal lives. You get the impression that a kind of fog is floating around, light but unnatural, and as you look at the thick branches of the oak tree, you get a strange feeling… Like a memory from another life… Like a dream…
Suddenly, there's a sound. A sound you know well, having heard it every night for over a week. A laugh. A clown's laugh… You turn in all directions, shining your phone in every nook and cranny around the oak. And just as you realize that there's nothing there, that maybe it's your imagination playing tricks on you, the laughter starts up again. You jump back against the tree, light pointed ahead, anticipating the appearance of someone, something… The laughter becomes more distinct, closer… But it's not coming from in front of you, nor from the sides… It comes… from above?
With a quick gesture, you point the light towards the branches of the oak tree and there, hidden in the shadows of the leaves, you see it: a clown. No, THE clown. The one who has haunted your dreams, distressed your nights, devoured your sanity. This present moment has repeated itself endlessly in your nightmare and now it's all happening for real, clear as day and just as terrifying.
With a muffled scream, you drop your phone, the lamp face down and your legs buckling beneath you. The little light that escapes from beneath your phone only faintly illuminates the bottom of the tree, but you know IT's there.
And it's not long before he leaps down from the tree. You can only make out a silhouette in the darkness, and as you hear him coming closer, you try to remember the end of the dream. It's all a blur, and all that comes back is a vague memory of a hunt in which you are the prey… Back on the grassy ground, you pull yourself back as best you can with your hands, never taking your eyes off the presence. Is this how you're going to die?
He moves slowly closer, slipping into the shadows. You can make out that he's leaning forward, then addressing you in a childlike voice.
"Hiya Y/N! I'm Pennywise, the dancing clown!"
He suddenly picks up your phone from the floor, pulling it up slowly, light downwards, gradually revealing his appearance as he continues.
"I've been looking forward to meeting you, you know? Don't be scared, I'm not going to kill you…"
As he utters these words, light finally shines on his face, reflected in his abnormally large and sharp teeth, piercing yellow eyes focused on you, and horror fills you.
"… yet."
The instinct to survive gives you new energy. You leap to your feet and flee the way you came, briefly illuminated by your phone in the clown's hands. You run at full speed, ignoring the noises behind you that make you think he's chasing you. If you've got a chance of getting away, you're going to take it. In fact, the forest exit isn't far off. One last push! You close your eyes and accelerate again… when hands often clutch your collar, brutally stopping your momentum.
"There you are, you bastard!"
"I told you she'd come back! She's such a pussy!"
"No way out now, you bitch!"
Jenny and her gang… It was Tim, the big muscular guy who caught you. They were waiting for you just outside the forest…
"Why are you running so fast? Are you afraid of the big bad wolf?"
They burst out laughing, but the sound reaches you distorted. The adrenalin from your run is wearing off too slowly and you can still hear your heart pounding in your eardrums. You struggle on, your brain unable to make sense of what has just happened. Suddenly, you hear a foul noise. A kind of hoarse, inhuman growl, coming out of the depths of the woods like an echo to their pitiful mocking laughter. You feel Tim's hands trembling with uncontrollable fear on your collar and watch their faces disintegrate before your eyes. Tim lets go and they all flee in a single scream of terror, leaving you behind.
You turn around, your body still tired from your frantic run, and you quickly understand what made them flee: golden eyes, shining menacingly in the darkness, perched on a huge, muscular, fur-covered figure, its multiple sharp teeth accentuating the evil growl rolling down its throat. A werewolf.
You barely have time to realize that it's the clown from earlier before he disappears between the trees with a hoot that sends shivers down your spine. Just as you regain your strength to flee, something falls near you. You examine it carefully: it's your phone, and as you turn the screen towards you, you see a message written in a torn red font:
DON'T BE SCARED
You don't wait any longer and run towards town without looking back.
#it 2017#pennywise#pennywise x reader#pennywise x you#pennywise fanfiction#it#horror#damn i'm so scared of posting this why#anxiety my old friend
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wanted to share the richie tozier themed altoid tin i decorated!!
mostly 2017-19 richie themed, but wanted to include some 1990 and book richie with the teenage werewolf sticker and the words on the marquee :) i want to put little tchotchkes in it that remind me of richie, and all i have so far is a chucky cheese token ( going to try and find a better one) ^^" feel free to give me suggestions of what i should put in it!!
under the cut is some links to where i got some of the stickers!
werewolf sticker
pac man washi tape
cassette/radio stickers
richie/ other character stickers!
all of the other stickers i used came from michael or stickers i already had!!!
#richie tozier#it stephen king#it 2017#it chapter 2#it 2019#it 1990#it 1986#stephen king#image id in alt text#lmk if i can do better on image descriptions as always!#altoid wallet#altoid tin#my art#as always i have anxiety about posting but i hope some of the it people that are on here enjoy my little thingie :)#reddie
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Well! I guess I now have a third series to add to my 'ghosts/necromancy = fossil fuels/climate change' list. Mawmouths aren't ghosts, exactly, but they are very pointedly already dead, and they're created from organic remains crushed down into an oily residue. Even though Western nations have been using them to keep their people safe and comfortable for decades, they wag their fingers at developing nations trying to join in. We even get the bit near the end that when El tries to tell people the truth most of them deny it and brush her off as a fearmonger. The parallels are very intentional.
I suspect this trend will continue, but I'm interested to see what other people end up doing with it.
#the golden enclaves#pub dates 2017/2019/2020 so it's starting to catch on as the climate anxiety ramps up#crude monsters
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"I want you to be the best version of yourself "
What if this is the best version of myself I can be?
#lady bird#indie#indie movie#lady bird 2017#heavy metal#alternative music#indie music#billie eilish#melanie martinez#alternative rock#indie rock#slipknot#lil peep#goth aesthetic#lamb of god#teotfw#i believe in unicorns#radiohead#clairo#lana del gay#sadcore#lgbtq#lorde#melodrama#hell is a teenage girl#teenage drama#teenagers#depresion#social anxiety#jiafei
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#blinkies#blinkies cafe#political blinkies#favicons#i like dems#i fought the reps last night#hellotoltecs#free palestine#democratic#heart palpitations#generalized anxiety disorder#2016#2017#presidents#boneless pizza#scelerophobia#jewish antizionism#anti zionist jew#president tho#genderfluid#trans rights#ww2#art project
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only one idiot can challenge another
#currently the only thing i have worth posting#but i think theres more to come#if the stress of interviews dont swallow me whole#ough anxiety amirite#eddie kaspbrak#richie tozier#it#it 2017#it fanart#reddie#just laz things
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Laura Makabresku. Anxiety. 2017
Follow my new AI-related project «Collective memories»
#BW#Black and White#Preto e Branco#Noir et Blanc#黒と白#Schwarzweiß#Laura Makabresku#anxiety#deer#2017#2010s#animals#animais#animaux#Tiere#動物#reptiles#reptilien#répteis#爬虫類#fish#peixe#poisson#Fische#魚
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#today has been all kind of crazy-- not even counting the fact#that i think my car is totaled and i could have gotten in an#accident if i wasnt lucky. this is not including anything else#going on with me personally that i'll spare everyone. like...#i can clearly feel that i am back home. even being on here#is giving me anxiety and throwing me back to 2017. i just#really hope i feel better soon ;' )#i just wanna write Jim#and forget about all this but i'm too messed up for that too#tbd#vent tw#rant tw
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#correct me if I’m wrong (I’m 99.9% sure I’m not) but Harry was already in London#that’s how we got the pics of him shopping the day news dropped Jay had died#and all the discourse about him not being there blah blah#so like jot that down as something verifiably not true in that article at least#that said yes Simon 100% sees them as cash cows#and I believe he wanted a 1D reunion#but remember all details should be taken with a grain of salt#except the fuck simon cowell part#that part never needs more than a simple 🖕🏻#ALSO ALSO ‘Harry is more robust about fame’ YOU SURE ABOUT THAT??#that is the singular member who went on record saying Simon gave him anxiety#back in 2017#like????
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Man, my apartment people texted me to ask if I'd be able to accommodate a 4 pm virtual showing today bc the potential client set up a tour for a different apartment but decided they wanted to look at my unit instead. And I'm just sitting here like uhhhh. Nah lmao. I don't wanna have to do that short notice cleaning. So I told them no
Now I'm wondering what's up with this client tho like. U can't just go touring in all these different units just for funsies... like ppl r still living here... no I don't want u coming in here at such short notice. And I am legally allowed to say no. So yay 👍
#speculation nation#i need to go to the grocery to pick up cat litter bc i need to change out the litter#but man im having a chill ass Saturday. i kinda dont wanna go.#need to work on my lab later today. i also need to uhh..... ugh......#theres a career fair this week that i really should go to. and i need to prep my resume for it and make sure i have 'business professional'#dress. whatever that actually means. guess im gonna be looking it up.#i REALLY REALLY REALLY dont want to. id rather just fuck around this weekend and do my normal chores and homework.#and fuck around during the week too with bowling and orchestra. but noooooooo#i have to think about my futuuuuuure#man i also need to start looking into apartment hunting. since i do need to move this summer.#and it's already february... heck i have to pay rent and bills today too. ughhhhhhh#being a responsible adult 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 sucks bro#omg i also got uh. taxes to do. got my w-2 in from the month and a half i worked at the start of last year lmao#and apparently interest income is taxable. so i gotta factor that in too...#BUT insurance payouts are NOT taxable. thank god. i wouldnt wanna see what taxes on that lump of sum wouldve been.#i think i technically would have an income thats below the income rung for legally being required to file taxes#but i think i still will. in case i manage to get anything Back. still worth it probably.#i'll do that later tho. i got like 2 and a half months. ill try to not do it too late.#that and the apartment hunting are not immediately pressing. unfortunately the bills and the career fair Are immediately pressing.#man. resumes. i made a 'professional' one for my business writing class a few years back. no idea where it is tho now.#i guess i could go looking on my old computers. would probably be easier to start based on that than start from scratch.#my actual resume for actual job hunting ive done is. also on old computers. and also severely out of date.#i havent gone job hunting since like... honestly like 2016. legit. bc i got that cookie job and then in 2017 i came back to campus#and went to the bubble tea shop id worked at in 2015-2016. and they hired me back on real easy. and there i remained until 2024.#i just really hate job searching. and im a little nervous about it being a Big Boy salary job kinda shit.#but i will do my best... i wont let anxiety stop me from at least making an effort......
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richie the type of guy to create numberless different accounts on every social media platform possible and lie his ass off about his personal information/day-to-day life just because he can
#'name is Marlene. 25 female. virgo and estj btw'#WHO ARE YOU#'name is Finn. sexy 16 year old with crippling anxiety. I'm so dark ⛓🐺' huh#flirting with men on the accounts he lied about being a girl#texting the most ridiculous things like#'can you fart from your dick 🥺' wHAT#anyway i think he's just silly#did i tell you he's my biggest kin after thom yorke btw#richie tozier#it 2017#it 2019#it#rasc.txt
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#my ptsd is kicking my ass currently ive got 2 hours sleep the last 2 days and everything and everyone is giving me chest crushing anxiety#which apparently means the therapy is workinf but oh my fucking GOD#relapse in symptoms unseen since circa 2017#back to posting vent art on tungler dot com
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“Bit of a bugger, actually.” 🩷
Breathe, 2017
#they are precious 🥹#Andrew Garfield#claire foy#breathe movie 2017#breathe movie#more looks that would cure my anxiety and depression
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Feeling kind of exhausted by the world today.
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