#anway again. for real this time

[esmeralda-juniper]

?

[o-solemioo]

HIHIHIII 😼!! hru?

anway, idk if you write hc’s or not, but can you do one with feminine male reader x cullen family? like r dresses feminine (biker shorts, crop-tops, skirts, bb belts, dresses, his style is like coquette , etc,,), he’s a vampire, and he is close with the family (a haram for him maybe.)

if not a haram, a platonic setting where they see him as family and sees him as a son/little brother,,

hi anon,

i'm good, thanks! and thank you for your ask. i'm a bit out of practice writing headcanons, so forgive me if this is a little rough around the edges, and maybe a little cringey. (also again this might be a bit short as i'm still getting back into the hang of writing.)

you are loved,

๏siris ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟ

— headcanons; feminine male reader

☾ pairing: cullen family x effeminate!male!reader

☾ summary: just some headcanons

☾ warnings: 2nd person (you), polyamorous relationship(?), implied bi/pan reader, bimbo-adjacent reader, very flamboyant reader, reader gets hatecrimed(?), nothing inherently sexual but some slightly suggestive themes, not proofread.

☾ w๏rd c๏unt: 846

—

☾ You moved to Forks when you were quite young, as your family needed to get away from "big city" life.

☾ You were actually able to express yourself very freely for such a small town.

☾ Even as a little kid, there was something just a little bit more feminine about you.

☾ And when you were finally able to understand yourself and your taste, that's when it began.

☾ The women's section was your favourite area of any store, and to you, it was just so much nicer than men's clothes.

☾ By the time the Cullens rolled into town in your sophmore year, you were regularly wearing skirts to school. You got teased for it, sure, but it all seemed to roll off of you. You were just so sure of yourself; so confident. And it drew the Cullens in like moths to a flame.

☾ Alice noticed you first; your style was so cute, and she needed to ask where you got that adorable purple top from. She started sitting next to you in class more and you could tell she started developing a small crush on you.

☾ You didn't mind her company, she was so kind that it didn't even matter. You studied and hung out at your house often. When she invited you to *her* house, though, that's when everything turned real for you.

☾ Esme and Carlisle just adored you, and while Rosalie and Edward seemed to show a bit of disdain, Alice assured you that they just needed to warm up to you.

☾ Jasper and Emmet loved to tease you, asking you whether you were a boy or a girl. not that they cared, they "just wanted to know".

☾ Life couldn't be better. You had a nice group of friends, good grades at school, and an impeccable sense of style, at least for 2003.

☾ Some boys visiting from the town over for a volleyball game found you, and they weren't as accepting as your nice little group. Everything happened so quickly that by the time you awoke, you were surrounded by the Cullens.

☾ It had already been a week. They were scared you "weren't going to make it", whatever that meant. You were still just waking up when Carlisle announced that he had no choice, and that you had been turned.

☾ Of course you were devastated. Your family, friends, everything, stripped away from you in almost an instant. For weeks, Alice was your only source of comfort.

☾ When you were finally feeling more comfortable, you moved in with the Cullens under the guise of simple roommates.

☾ Things began happening at random. Items of clothing started appearing in your closet when you hadn't bought anything. Your favourite music and movies would be playing whenever you were home. Eventually, you realized it was everyone trying to make you feel more comfortable.

☾ And soon enough, you were comfortable again. Your style as well as you became more effeminate than it already was with the knowledge of how easy it was to defend yourself.

☾ Rosalie was actually the first person to make a romantic move toward you. She enjoyed your confidence with your cotton candy pinks and your bows and pearl necklaces, and flamboyant personality. She couldn't resist and asked you out on a date.

☾ It ended up being more of a vacation to Seattle, with Emmett and Jasper tagging along. When they saw how Rosalie was treating you, they immediately knew it would be a one-up contest from that point on.

☾ When Alice and Edward finally caught on, it seemed like there was a new clothing item or accessory in your wardrobe every day.

☾ Luckily, it wasn't just that. Edward often bought you CD's and Alice bought you books. Emmett bought you whatever was available, usually bags and pins that he thought you would like. Jasper usually found the best jewelry for you, and Rosalie took care of the clothes, as your style let her experiment a little more with fashion design.

☾ You were one of the very few people who's mind Edward doesn't mind reading. Sometimes this can get a bit carried away...

☾ Jasper also enjoys messing with your emotions every so often, which has led to a few interesting encounters. But, when you're feeling down, he's immediately there to make you feel better.

☾ Carlisle and Esme mostly stay off to the sidelines. However, Esme loves to bake with you; not to eat, obviously, but fundraisers are all the rage, and who doesn't love a good bake sale? She's a kinesthetic learner, so it doesn't surprise you when her hands start to wander a bit.

☾ Carlisle can be a bit of a bore sometimes with all of his technical talk, but you always listen when he tells you about his day. He's willing to do whatever you want, too; and when he eyes you up and down every so often, you smile and pretend not to notice.

☾ All in all, you've found your place easily with the Cullens, and while it's definitely unconventional, all you care about is that you're happy. After a long time, you finally are.

—

sorry for the long wait ! i got a bit caught up in life :/ but there should be a bit more of an influx in posts soon :D

[toxinoire]

The craziest thing about Epic is that it didn't need Ody's canon to The Odyssey SA to show that Odysseus has lost his own autonomy anyway.

He embraces his side as "the monster" until you question, is he really? Or did he really have no choice?

Looking at the line of "I am not your kind and gentle husband" makes me think back to Just A Man.

It is shown that Odysseus really hates being soldier. He had no choice but to kill the infant because Zeus told him to. And Troy? If we look at The Iliad, he didn't want to go to war from the beginning. And this is the first real time he loses a part of him; his kindness makes him argue with Zeus, his gentleness makes him willing to raise the boy. But he couldn't defy the King of The Gods.

And then Polites tries to bring those parts back, even unintentionally. But Athena tries to tell him he can't do that--his mentor contributes to losing those aspects of himself.

Next is when Polites dies, and well, that's self explanatory.

Another is when Polyphemus kills some of his crew. Part of his identity is being a captain, a king. He knows how to lead people. But then shit went down and he slowly fails to be captain anymore.

And then Poseidon adds onto making Odysseus lose that side of himself more by killing majority of his men.

Circe's Island made him hold onto the scraps of being a captain he has left in him. But even so, Circe tried to lust him so she could kill him, which itself is bad. Though Circe lets them go, even though Ody was unaware of Circe almost killing him, that itself made him hold onto the husband part of him more. That's what got him out of it.

So the Underworld. He hears the screams of his men, and their last thoughts blaming him. Their last thoughts being "Captain, why would you let the Cyclops live when ruthlessness is mercy-" is them blaming Odysseus for their deaths. This makes him lose more of his captain side.

Then he sees Polites, and then his mom. He breaks down again after we last saw him do so in Troy.

And then Tiresias shows him his fate, which he misinterprets. Why? We all know the man is him, but why did he not think it was him? He was holding onto the husband part of him the most, so much that it blinded him.

So here comes song 20.

And in the Thunder Saga, we see him lose more of his gentleness and kindness. He's also barely holding onto being a captain by a thread.

Scylla is the entire explanation.

Mutiny is the last bit of that thread and it finally snapped during Thunder Bringer. He lost his leadership, he's no longer a captain. And quite frankly, it traumatized him so much already.

Calypso's island, though this version makes Calypso naive, she, like Jorge said, is ruthless in her own way. He was trapped. He was probably still holding onto the husband aspect of him subconsciously, as to why he never slept with her. But it was buried pretty deep.

"All I hear are screams" Who's to say he hadn't been hearing this for the past seven years, but that day he was so close to losing to those screams. He lost his side of being a captain, he lost his side of being a friend, he lost his side of being gentle and kind.

So his side as a husband is all he could hold onto anymore in The Vengeance Saga. During Full Speed Ahead, we see his king aspect through the lyric "Ithaca's waiting, my kingdom is waiting" but in Dangerous, he has no more king aspect. It's just him wanting to be home to his family at this point.

And then he loses himself more in Six Hundred Strike, as he lost his last bits of mercy when Poseidon offered him none. All that's left of him is wanting to be with Penelope, and his hopes of finally seeing his son.

The suitors' plans had been horrible. But honestly, he would have killed them anway even if they hadn't planned shit. He lost his patience for threats, he lost his mercy, his gentlessness. He is still cunning, but he's gone. Odysseus, King of Ithaca, is gone. "Old king" He's still king by title, but can he really manage a whole kingdom anymore? Like he used to since he was thirteen?

If it had not been for Penelope, he never would have embraced that he, no matter what, is still just a man, no matter how monstrous. But he lost so much of himself, and he knows. He lost his own autonomy, he lost what he knew of himself.

Finally holding his son and his wife yelling at him made him understand that he's still human, but post Epic/The Odyssey the man is already so traumatized, that he most likely forgot so many things of himself. He lost what made him Odysseus, King of Ithaca, which is a BIG part of him. Odysseus, husband of Penelope, father lof Telemachus, is all that's left of him. While those may be the most important parts of him, he's still traumatized, and only knows of himself as a monster now.

He is, quite frankly, no longer him.

[multi-fandom-imagine]

Heatwave || Cooper Howard ||

A/n: no one asked for this but I am wrote it anways

Fic includes a made-up aphrodisiac chem (called “Heatwave”) that intensifies sensitivity, arousal, and mutual need

The motel room was sweltering—desert heat clinging to every surface—but it wasn’t the broken fan or the dying fire making you sweat.

It was the Heatwave.

He’d found it earlier in the day—an unmarked vial stashed in the back of an old chem dealer’s fridge. You’d been curious, nervous, but Cooper had grinned, holding the glimmering red liquid up to the sun.

“Used to see this shit in Hollywood back before the bombs,” he’d said, voice low with dark amusement. “Synthetic stimulant. Heightened nerve sensitivity, massive endorphin spike, and, uh…” He leaned in, the rasp in his voice dropping to a growl. “A fuckin’ need to be touched.”

You’d split the dose with him. Half each. And now?

Now you were burning.

You were on your back, legs spread wide, fingers clutching the torn sheets beneath you as his tongue dragged up your inner thigh, your body twitching with every touch. He hadn’t even fucked you yet, and you’d already come twice—once from his mouth, once from his fingers. And you were still aching.

“Sensitive, huh?” he chuckled, lips slick from your release, voice thick with arousal. “That little chem’s workin’ real good.”

“C-Cooper,” you whimpered, thighs trembling around his shoulders. “I can’t— I need—”

“I know what you need,” he growled.

He rose up over you, every inch of him wild and hungry. His cock was thick and flushed dark, glistening at the tip with precum—already aching from holding back. He pressed the head against your dripping entrance and slid in slow, grunting as your tight heat sucked him in inch by inch.

You cried out. It was too much, not enough, perfect.

Your walls clenched hard, already fluttering around him as he bottomed out with a low, primal groan. The chem made everything sharper. The feel of his ridged skin, the stretch, the heat—every thrust dragged a wave of pleasure so intense it felt like your soul was leaving your body.

“Fuck, you feel like fire,” he snarled, slamming into you harder now. “So goddamn tight—grippin’ me like you own me.”

You couldn’t even answer. Your mouth hung open, eyes rolling back as he fucked you with reckless, desperate need. Every thrust sent another shiver through you, your pussy so soaked now you could hear the wet slap every time his hips met yours.

Then you felt it—again—your third orgasm already cresting.

“I—I’m gonna—” you gasped, your whole body locking up.

“Yeah you are. Cum for me, baby. Let it fuckin’ happen.”

You screamed his name as the climax ripped through you, legs kicking, tears leaking from the corners of your eyes. Your pussy clamped down so tight around his cock he cursed under his breath—and then he was following, growling through clenched teeth as he emptied inside you with hard, jerking thrusts.

“Take it—fuck—take all of it,” he hissed, hips twitching as ropes of cum flooded you. “I’m not stoppin’. Not ‘til that little pussy’s full.”

And he didn’t.He didn’t pull out. Couldn't....now when you felt like a fucking dream

You were still trembling when he started moving again, the overstimulation turning your next moan into a desperate sob. You were soaked—his cum dripping out around his cock, mixing with your own slick, making everything filthy and perfect.

“Look at you,” he murmured, leaning down to kiss the corner of your lips, your jaw, your throat. “All messy and cockdrunk already. We’re just gettin’ started, sweetheart.”

You lost count of how many times he made you cum after that.

Heatwave had you both insatiable—his stamina fueled by ghoul resilience, yours by sheer chemical lust. He fucked you against the wall, bent over the dresser, on your knees, riding him until you collapsed. He’d pull out just to cum on your stomach, your chest, your face—only to get hard again minutes later and push back into you with a snarl.

By the time dawn broke, you were wrecked—soaked, twitching, filled with his cum, your voice raw from screaming his name.

And even then… his fingers were trailing down again.

“Still sensitive, darlin’?” he rasped against your ear. “Let’s find out.”

[loveaurapearl]

So I was watching the last bit of Scar's Wild Life episode again because one it's amazing since it reveals that Scar is still stuck in Secret Life and two... I'm trying so hard to listen in and understand the last part that Scar said. Scar is so quiet and there are whispers around him that it's kind of hard to understand exactly WHAT his said. So much that I've seen multiple people give their own take on what he said. So I want to analyze each possible thing he said since each implication is very revealing.

Now, these are just guesses on what Scar said since... it's really...really hard to hear what Scar says. The only clear things people agree on hearing are the words Shadow People and the word friends. That's about it. I've seen quiet a few interpretations so here's my analysis on it.

The first interpretation is that Scar is saying. 'The Shadow People, they're my only friends.' This shows that even though Scar cares about the Bamboozlers and Grian, Scar still considers the Shadow people, whoever they are (most likely Watchers which would include Grian), are his only friends. That in his mind, these mysterious people are the only ones he can trust in. Kind of sad.

The second interpretation is that Scar is saying. 'The Shadow People, they're not my friends.' This is the opposite mindset of option one. This shows that Scar is trapped with people he doesn't like and don't consider friends, and yet they still visit him and probably torment him. This is the least likely of the options because of the cadence of Scar's voice I don't hear anything that sounds like the word 'not' or anything similar to the word that would mean this interpretation.

Third and final interpretation I've seen is that Scar is saying. 'The Shadow People, where are my friends?' This means that Scar's confused. Why is he here? Where are his friends? Why aren't they here with him, Shadow People? He's questioning the Shadow people which is fair. This is the first time since Real life that he died in a new game and this time he didn't win. He was unlucky number 13. So he should be with his friends or at least with the other winners. But he's not. He's still in Secret life, pressing the button and tending to his sunflowers.

Out of all the options, I think the first one is the correct answer. I listened to the Audio of Scar's multiple times and I think this is the most likely wording. Based off how the words flow, I think option one is the correct answer. Unforunatly, we'll never know for sure since it was really hard to understand what Scar said. It also stinks since the auto-generated subtitles just say the words Shadow people and kind of cut off from there. If anyone else can understand what Scar said and definitely say what Scar said, please let people know because it's been driving me a little crazy. Anway, that was my tedtalk and let's discuss more about Scar's Wild Life ending and the revolution that Scar is still stuck in Secret Life. Okay. Okay. Have a good day.

[prettynice8]

Kinkmas day 3: Oral

Pairing: Tetsuro Kuroo x male reader

This guy

Warnings: oral DUH, oral fixation, kissing, pretty pervy reader, kinda gay ngl, no sex again sorry but not really, I think that's it

Word count: 1134

You were just there by yourself watching the Karasuno and Nekoma Volleyball game alone. Like you showed up to all of the games...alone. The reason one may ask why you show up all the time without not really giving a shit about sports; well because the players are hot. I mean just look at them, getting all sweaty out on the field, muscular arms hitting the ball, large thighs in those tight gym shorts...Oh yeah and the athletics are cool and whatever.

You would fuck all of them if given the chance honestly. You were lost in such thoughts when the last ball was hit, fucking finally. Whenever these two supreme teams go head-to-head it always last for fucking ever.

Anway that is to say that the game was done, and the winner was Karasuno. Everyone got up from their seats and cheered, most were boo's sense it was a home game for Nekoma. You just sat down, catching the attention of a certain black-haired man.

After the men went around, high fiving and saying good jobs, you got up from the bleachers, on your way out because there is no use staying anymore.

On your way out and into the hallway you pulled out a cherry flavored lollipop and popped it right in your mouth. But before you could leave you felt a hand grip your own.

You looked back and saw that it was the 6'2" tall, tall, dark, and handsome man himself, Tetsuro Kuroo. You were in complete awe of the man before and why he was holding your hand when he finally spoke.

"Hey there cutie." He greeted, joy and anticipation apparent in his voice.

"Hi?" you said, confused by the sudden action. "Would you like something?" He takes a while with a cartoonish and dramatized look on his face.

"Umm, you," he said plainly. You start laughing but stop when you see complete seriousness looking back at you.

"You have to be joking, right?" You asked.

"Does it look like I am?" He questions back, though he has a charming smirk you can tell that he is still completely for real. Before you can answer, he pulls the sucker right out of your mouth and into his.

Again, a look of utter shock stains your face. Leaving you speechless.

"If you want it back then follow me." He demands then walks off into some undisclosed situation. You just stand there, looking dumb until you finally get the thought of fucking him in your mind and start to follow.

You run to catch up with him and follow suit. It's practically dead silence until he finds a secluded location, that being the locker room. You both walk in, and he cages you in his arms, your back being against the lockers. It really is like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

After this he puts the sucker out of his mouth and puts it right in front of your face. You graciously accept but while your tongue is going for it, he is doing the same. You both meet in the middle like Lady in the Tramp style. At first you are completely surprised but give in anyway. Your mouths come together to suck on your lollipop. Your tongues are colliding and fighting for the sucker. Eventually he wins and puts it completely in his mouth, but you will not stand for this.

You kiss him, taking the opportunity to have the sucker, your mind now only obsessed with that. Your tongue goes into his mouth so that the sucker is once again shared between the two of you. Your arms going to his muscular chest, looking for anything to grab onto due to the overwhelming passion of this weird lollipop kiss.

But this isn't food kink, so he just lets you have it so that we can all get on to the good part. Now that you have the sucker you don't even care at this point. You threw the sucker on the floor, your attention switching to kissing him. His arms go to grope your ass, giving it a firm grip. This makes you moan, and he takes this chance to run his tongue deeper down your mouth, exploring the whole thing.

He pulls away, noticing that you are running out of breath.

"Could you maybe..." he paused, gesturing towards his lower body. You look confused and then realize what he's gesturing too and automatically get down on your knees.

"Well, that didn't take much convincing." He stated, giving an approving smile.

"I aim to please." You said, a smirk, blush evident on your face.

You pull down his pants and boxers and HOLY FUCK THAT IS THE BIGGEST DICKS YOUVE EVER SEEN, and you've seen a lot, you're gay. It is extremely long with a pretty decent amount of girth and a trimmed yet still noticeable jet-black bush. He laughs at the surprised look you have on.

"Scared?" He questioned, laughing all the while. You shut him up by giving tiny little kitten licks pre cum already developing from the tip. You lick it off and then continue the rest of your tiny licks off the tip, licking the pre cum when it arrives.

"Come on, you can do better than that." He taunted. You ignore him, doing little kisses all throughout his shaft. The little kisses develop into licking up and down the entire rod. This makes his cocky persona falter as he accidently lets out a noticeable groan.

This encourages you to try harder. You finally begin to put the whole thing into your mouth. You start with just the tip but then develop into putting the whole thing.

"Oh fuck yes." He moaned out in ecstasy. You start with slow, controlled movements, struggling to fit the whole thing in your mouth AND move. You put your tongue under your shaft which makes him moan awfully loud.

Your head going up and down much faster, the delicious taste of his pre going down your throat. His cock doing the same, almost melting in your mouth and slipping up and down your throat. Tears begin to develop in the corner of your eyes in which he kindly wipes off with his thumb.

"Jesus fucking Christ you're amazing at this." He praised, he means the compliment, yet he still wraps his hand in your hair and starts thrusting his hips into your mouth. Gargled noises come from you due to his rapid thrusts.

After giving in a few more pumps, he finally cums in your mouth, in which you gladly swallow up once he takes his member out of your mouth. His breath was shallow and gasping.

"Thank you, *pant* That was fucking *pant* amazing." He gasped. "Now for the good part."

THE END

[daincrediblegg]

I need all the lore about Lamb and Standish too. When did they become so dependent on each other? Did they ever get drunk together back in the day? Did they ever sleep together? We know he cares about her a lot and feels guilty AND protective over her since Partner, but does he actually love her and is he in denial about this? I have so many questions

OK OK OK SO. I just finished the first book (woohoo) and. I am honestly so thrilled to say that what little lore we got from the first book at least aligned a lot with some of the stuff that I had come to my own conclusions about from having watched the show... way too many times now. And I have to say- real credit to Saskia and Gary and Will Smith for putting it together in the show the way they did because man. I feel like they give us so many subtextual clues and they really capitalize on each and every one of them that it makes doing my job as a film scholar just super fun.

Anways- on the Standish and Lamb situation? I have lots of thoughts. Most of which I wrote down last night in a complete stupor because this is what keeps me up at night thinking about this character dynamic. So buckle up. We're gonna ramble our way through my own thoughts and ideas about all this.

Like to start, to me it seems that they really never had much contact at all back in the day, and that makes sense: considering Jackson's mostly in Berlin playing Moscow rules in the field while Standish is at home holding the fort for Charles, there's not a lot of overlap with each other physically but they did know each other as much as they needed to know at the time: Standish was Partner's drunk PA, and Lamb was the Joe of All Joes (can I make it any more obvious?). What little contact they may have ever had was certainly mostly through Charles, and the show gives us some insight to that giving us that little flashback that Catherine has where she seemingly meets Lamb for the first time after "Berlin's blown" (which could mean either the wall came down as Lamb says to Catherine in his half-confession, or that he's referring to the incident that he describes to Katinsky in season 2, and of these two options, my money is on the latter). That looks like a woman being very confused meeting someone she's never really seen before in her life to me (or perhaps has seen while drunk at one time, but doesn't much remember).

I mean most of the rest I feel like I can glean from the incidents themselves. Both of them getting relegated to Slough House after Charles' death seems natural- Catherine with her near miss of a treason charge and Lamb with the fact that he literally assassinated First Fucking Desk of MI5. And it's easy to see how the co-dependency came from there. Catherine as an alcoholic going through AA specifically, seems to revolve around structure to keep herself in check- the way she talks about Charles Partner in Season 2 helps with this. The fact that he payed for her treatment and in return- probably partially because of this need for structure- she latched onto her job as a way to compensate so that she doesn't end up in the same dark place again. So, then being Lamb's secretary, it's still the same kind of structure that she needs, even though this time it doesn't feel as rosy as it might have done with Partner.

- And this is a point that I think about a lot. She does view her whole relationship with Partner with rose colored glasses, even though if you listen to what she's actually saying in those flashbacks from season 1, she's done his laundry, is planning his outfits, put out his flowers- she was doing nothing more than some kind of glorified paid house wife kind of shit for him (and in FACT! I was fooled my first go around season 1 like I genuinely thought that she was deadass his WIFE or something. I think that misconception on my part says a LOT). And Lamb in parallel to that is a great come down from that mountaintop-that she sees herself and Partner as this idylic Q and Money Penny type of thing that she's romanticized in her head for the last 20 years- an illusion that Lamb on every level shatters and is - at least to his credit- honest about. As much as he inconveniences her and as much as he's his raw unfiltered self around her (which- he certainly is more of that around Standish than anyone else he knows. River gets a lot of brutal honesty from Jackson, but none to do with emotional sincerity- like the way Lamb tells Standish the half-truth of Partner's death, and why he *chose* slough house), as much as he's a bully he's still doesn't give her any illusion of what their relationship is or isn't, and no one would see that as a mark of respect on account of him being an "utter bastard", but is all of that really worse than Charles pretending to be her best friend and all the while planning to have her take the fall for him behind her back? (Personally? It's a different kind of bad but Charles is definitely the worst). And it's extra funny situationally because then all of the things she says about how Partner treated her is much more close to the mark to what Lamb did for her, and things that weren't superficial either. "I know that unlike you, he respected me" ("christ, Standish was right", always updates her on what he knows when appropriate and always has her sit in on debriefs when it's safe), "he showed me friendship"(he always pours out a drink for her that he ends up drinking himself, always when things are going to come down on her deals with it *himself* rather than relegate it to the fuck-ups, always has her up to date on things -unless it means blowing cover), "and he believed in me" (he gave HER the gun and let her delegate the hijacking of the MI5 car from Duffy and Webb, let HER do the cool agent stuff, also lets her do some of the investigative work- especially in season 2 when he doesn't interrupt her at ALL when she keeps up with the camera trail on- but also knows her limits, especially in the house of hell where he stuffs her in a closet knowing she can't be of more use because *he* knew he could kill Hobbs, but "now I won't shoot you dead, Mr. Webb,"), "and he kept me on, when anyone else would have thrown me to the wolves."(which is exactly what he did when Partner died, and all the information came out that Partner was going to peg it on her. It wouldn't surprise me if he took the hit for that too in some way. If him getting her treason charge dropped might also be part of why he ended up in Slough House - which if the op was sanctioned initially by David Cartwright might hold some weight. Maybe that was David cleaning up and covering arse like Taverner would do. Maybe Catherine *was* supposed to take the fall, but Jackson refused to let that happen? But that's just a theory. A Slough House Theory).

But the bigger question in this is of course: why? Why on god's green earth does Jackson Lamb give a shit, and why is he so dependent on Standish?

The solution to this feels multi-pronged. First: I think that he has a bit of a chip on his shoulder about innocent people getting caught in the cross-fire of the things that MI-5 get up to, and Catherine fits that bill better than anybody he knows. In season 2 when he talks about the women agents whose deaths he was directly responsible for, he describes it as something he "wishes [he] could unsee"- which for Lamb is saying a lot, considering that to most things (heads on tables, faces blown off with shotguns) he doesn't bat an eye, and even says he's seen worse. What happened to those women and the fact that what he said made that happen I think affected him more deeply than he lets on in that scene, because even though Charles Partner didn't know who they were at all outside of a codename, Jackson did, and probably knew them very well. And Charles as their shadowy overlord who was just moving them like pieces on a chessboard never had to pay the emotional price for that, nor did David Cartwright. But Lamb did. Because as much as he denies it to keep people looking the other way, Lamb does have a heart, and it's hard to earn but it's not impossible.

And he always does take the emotional fall for things! He says in season 4 that he "had a heart until he worked for [David Cartwright]" whom he also said "gave [him] a job once". The way those lines conflict in tone but also reveal a lot about how he views his own fall from grace says so much. David Cartwright got him into this business, but under his direction he hardened for it (something that I think connects him to River more than that boy will ever understand. Also is what makes Lamb a better mentor than Peepaw Cartwright, but that's another story) not to mention that for all intents and purposes, Lamb and Partner were actually good friends, and that this betrayal and the fact that he had to do it himself (even though maybe his feelings were mixed on the matter- that maybe he even loved Partner too in a similar way that Standish did at one point in time, but the lives lost from his betrayal weighed on Lamb more- and as we all know, from Catherine's own mouth, he'll do anything to get even for his Joes).

Which brings me to my second point: Jackson Lamb wants to be the hero just as much as his protege River Cartwright does, but the reality of their whole line of work is that there are very few instances in which anyone gets to be, but Catherine is one of the rare exceptions where he did, and all told, it doesn't feel good. Because there's a couple things at play here right? On the one hand yeah- he did save her from being thrown to the wolves after Partner died and framed her for his crimes! Yes he kept her from facing a treason charge, yes he covers her arse time and time again. But she still is the person who had to find the body. And as we know with Lamb, he knows how bad it is to have found the body better than anyone (I mean- I point to how he reacts to Min's death, and then to Bad Sam's in season 4- so enraged he storms out but also so depressed he steals his last bottle of booze). He didn't get to spare her from that, but he is trying to spare her from the rest of it too(an impulse he couldn't help but let go in the last episode of season 3- while still not incriminating himself, mind you), and that's hard! Because he's not supposed to have a heart ("What goodness? What heart?", "Oh have a heart, Jackson!") but he DOES! And he's taken it upon himself to break it time and time again just so he can keep himself at the top of his game- even though, and here's the secret: it's his heart that makes him the best at what he does! Because he does get involved! "I think your attention has been split between finding [Hassan Ahmed] and burning me!"- he does on some level actually give a shit about lives lost! Something Lady Di and Tearney and Duffy and even Cartwright Sr. don't consider when THEY play the game. And he cares about the kind of people that have everything to lose from the actions of the people at the top! And he'll martyr himself about it over and over again because he's got the skill better than anyone to do it and he knows it! And to make sure Standish stays right where she is- out of harms way- he'll fucking go to the ends of... idk England. Probably. To make sure she stays out of harms way where she belongs. And as a thread running co-current to that: I think he understands how much having found Partner's body haunts her every waking moment more than she knows- from his own experience, though he's definitely got a higher body count. They all weigh on him just the same ("By the time I was your age, I'd lost a baker's dozen. It was bad enough when the wall was up, but once they reduced it to bricks and rubble, everything went to shit. Whole networks of Joes, rounded up, blown. I haven't forgotten any of them. And I won't forget Sid.")

And then, on the other side of the dice, I think there's also a bit of a self-torture mixed with sadism that's a part of why he keeps her around too. I mean in a lot of ways it seems that it is absolute torture to him to keep Catherine around, considering she's always harping on about cHaRlEs PaRtNeR (who as we have established- it grates on Jackson that in Catherine's mind Partner is a knight in shining armor when really *he* did all of that way more than Partner ever did for her- though I don't even think Lamb would give himself the credit for that he can't stand that she sees him that way when he was disenchanted and knew all these horrible truths about what he did to his own people for money), and part of that co-dependency is (and I hate to say it) is that he needs to torture SOMEONE other than himself externally for his own friendship with Partner and literally Catherine is the only person with a shred of shared history that he can really do that to. And at the same time, she gets to do it to him. He gets to let her torture him also just a little bit ("What did your last servant die of?" "What did your last boss die of?"). He thrives off of that push and pull of torturing others while actually torturing himself. It's his own fucked up emotional bdsm basically.

Now of course to the biggest question of all: Is it love? Who's to say? Can Lamb ever cut the bullshit and admit to himself that his feelings about the whole Partner situation haunt him like his own shadow? Forever attached to his being? Can Standish ever see beyond her rose-colored glasses about Partner and give Jackson some forgiveness before he farts himself into an early grave for it? I don't know but they're on the fucking clock and I tend to swing back and forth like a pendulum on the notion (like I wouldn't say I ship them, but I wouldn't say that I don't either. Secret third thing: they're just really narratively fucking interesting and that gets me off just as well as anything else so? Yeah I guess).

[chaisshitposts]

Hi chai hope your doing good sending this anonymously because my sister is following me here so;-) english is not my native language i am arab i hope there is no mistakes I am nervous because it is the first time I write a lot in English and also because this is the first ask I send to someone in this app. Please be patient with me if there are mistakes. Thank you.

I think this is a success story even tho i did'nt fully shift but i got into the void, i did psych-k for the past 4 days i did it when i woke up and when i went to sleep i listen to affirmations tape bc my english suck and it was so hard for me to pronounce words correctly and it was so cringe in arabi bc i don't talk like that lmao anyway whenever i imagine myself getting into the void i thought my first time would be in a lucid dream but my past self had this limited belief that i never lucid dream or even have dreams like all my dreams are just blank space and i wake up and remember nothing so she did'nt take it seriously and thought it was impossible but when i visualized in my psych-k Sessions it was always in a lucid dream so anyway when i fell a sleep last night i had this weird dream where i was in our old house and i was 12 again the whole dream i thought something was off and weird stuff would happen like there was a Rhinoceros (وحيد القرن) flying above our garden! but somehow i did'nt notice it was a dream until i saw my mom and she said hey darling how are you(اهلين حبيبتي كيف حالك) and i was like wtf that not my mom she never called my darling before (حبيبتي) 😭

Anways i ran so fast to my room and looked in the door and i visualized a portal and said it well get me to the void state and i did it and god it felt so good like i am just being without effort or negative thoughts with no hate or worrying i was just a free spirit full of love and happiness. It was a very pure state i sayed there for sometime but i am not sure bc time really did'nt seem real to me there, i did'nt shift which is sad bc that was my goal but i got into the void and now i am sure It’s real and i can do it again

Also i think i been in this state before it felt so familiar when i woke up that felling i had i knew very well like i just felt like i always got into that state but this my first time being aware while experience it so that was beautiful

Thank you for introducing me to this wonderful technique

شكرا لك من كل قلبي حبيبتي💞

Love you chai<3

first of all, your english is super good. second of all, holy crap, congratulations!!! I'm excited for you!!! the void is indeed a wonderful place to be in. lastly, thank you for not giving up on yourself, and good luck to you! I wish you nothing but greatness and prosperity. 🕵️

[jellykyunnie]

hallo, hallo, it's a me again. I had to leave the dragon slumber's heir chat with jinwoo bc the room was getting hot hot ehem that aside, with horn knee, there should also be angst perfectly balanced, as all things should be so the obvious choice would be the loveless marriage!au, right? the pain was le chefs kiss if you can ignore me crying in the background.

USER: "...Honestly, I feel like I got lucky in this lifetime. In another life, I have a feeling you probably wouldn't even know I existed."

not like i'm foreshadowing or anything cough cough

His jaw clenched at your casual tone. He couldn't stand the way you belittled yourself, as if you were undeserving of his attention or affection.

And the thought of you believing that he might not know you in another life felt like a knife twisting in his chest. Without thinking, he took a step closer to you, closing the distance between you once again.

His voice was quiet and intense as he spoke again, his eyes fixed on your face. "...If I had a choice, I would always choose you. Every time, in every lifetime."

see, that's where you're wrong buddy for context, my mc asked jinwoo to act like a 'real husband' for a month and then they can get a divorce. mc is in-love with jw, but with the rumours about him and cha hae-in, they thought it was time to let him go and find happiness, but not before being able to experience what it's like to be loved by our jw (see where i'm going with this? wink wonk)

He stood up from his seat abruptly, the chair screeching against the floor. He strode over to you in three swift steps, his hand shot out to grab your wrist, stopping you from leaving. His touch was firm, but there was a gentleness in it that you had felt before.

He looked at you, his eyes filled with an intense mix of emotions—desperation, frustration, helplessness, and...

...Fear.

as you should???

His grip on your wrist tightened just the slightest. "Don't go," he said quietly, his voice so low it was almost a whisper.

He didn't like that look on your face. The resigned, accepting expression you wore made him feel like you were preparing to give up on everything—on him, on this arranged relationship, on this whole situation.

He hated it.

i honestly feel like I'm one message away from confinement. just me? m e h

our jw obviously said 'no' and we got into the whole 'I would choose you in any lifetime' which is a scam anways, this made me think of a story where our jw woke up in og!jw body (like that one side-story of antares taking over jw instead) and was surprised to see that he was married to cha hae-in ??? and they have son together ???? he tried his best to act like the og!jw while also trying to look for mc and her family which apparently doesn't exist ?? he was full on hyperventilating at this point bc where was his wife? its cha hae-in he wanted his wife! his wife is right there and everything just blurs around him and suddenly he's startled awake, crying and sweating as his wife looks over him worriedly. apparently he's running a fever ?? and just above him, there's a message from the system: '[Error resolved; everything is back to normal.]' and if you thought jw was yandere now, well... hoo boi back with og!jw for some reason, he can't look at cha hae-in not that one in the eye without being reminded of his other wife in that timeline and thinking of ways of how he can get back to said timeline and staring intensely as the system message changed from '[Error resolved; everything is back to normal.]' to '[Error resolved; everything is back to normal?]'

this got really long i'm sorry but I just wanted to show my appreciation for this au!s of yours 😭 spent the whole day bedrotting frfr

WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME ANGST OUT OF NOWHERE HELP NWIASNAINDW, The lat one though qwq!! ANONNIE YOU BETTER GIVE THEM HAPPY ENDING UEUEUEU😭😭😭

[astro-vision-au]

Deals for Dreams

Just a quick story about Astro-vision Mr. Puzzles past and how he became the man he is today. This story, unlike my others, is completely unedited! [I just made this for fun so I'm not gonna edit it lol] so there may be spelling or grammatical errors.

Anways, time to get back to working on the "Can we talk" series since Mango now has a gun to my head and is demanding I add BurgerFruit to the next installment smh 🙄 /j /silly

Joseph stumbled into his studio apartment, his face flushed red as the smell of alcohol lingered on his breath. He muttered incoherent ramblings and curses as he made his way through his house.

“Just who do they think they are? Rejecting me and my dream, my creations, my passion? They know nothing, nothing!” he stammered as he made his way into his kitchen, throwing open the refrigerator door. He grabbed himself the first bottle of alcohol he saw, not really caring what it was as he downed in quickly. He really didn't care at this point. He just needed something since the bartender across the street had cut him off. 

He only took a breath once the bottle was empty, as his grip on it loosened the bottle dropped to the floor with a clink as thick glass met the tiled floor. Joseph only stood there, staring off at nothing in particular. How had his life come to be like this? He had worked so hard to make his dreams a reality, worked endlessly for those bastards in the corporate office, slaved away, making their tasteless slop they called entertainment. And when he finally brought in his own ideas for his own shows, they had the audacity to not only laugh in his face but to fire him as well. Granted he did jump over the table and punched his boss in the face, but he had it coming! 

Joseph only groaned as he rubbed his temples. What the hell was he going to do now? Without thinking, he walked over and grabbed his phone. He only held it for a moment before he stopped what he was doing. No, he wasn't going to call him, not again. He didn't want to hear the sound of his father's voice, berating him again, telling him how his dreams were nothing but a waste of time, calling him a useless son that he had to bail out again. No, not this time. 

He glanced over at his television, walking over as he dragged his feet and eventually slumped onto the couch. With a click of the remote, the television sprung to life. Ah, he's reliable television, the only real thing he considered a friend in life. He had spent hours of his life and childhood dedicated to the pictures on the screen. He watched as the actors moved with grace, saying their lines with perfect precision. It was a beautiful art, one that he two aspired to achieve. Like the television, he too wanted to bring joy and delight to hundreds of people around the world. 

Joseph would find himself on the floor as he crawled over to his television, wrapping his arms around its bulky frame as he pressed his face on the glass. Oh, how he dreamed to be as magnificent as the box of wonder, full of endless media, a light in the dark to all. He wanted it. No, he needed it. He needed to be just like the television. He needed to be the television. 

After he sat there, he had a sudden shift in demeanor as he stood up from sitting on his knees. His movements held a strange sobriety to them, carefully calculated as he moved through his apartment, yet his mind was still clouded with strange yet wonderful thoughts, fueled by liquor. There was one other thing that had caught his attention in life other than the art of television, it was that of the forbidden. Tales of the occult, dark magic and demonic rituals always peaked his interests. The thought that simply giving something up in exchange for power mirrored his own life in a weird way, except he seemed to never get anything in return. Perhaps here, his sacrifice could yield results for once.

Despite his clouded judgement, he grabbed several of the books he had collected over the years, pulling them off the shelves. He had never really read them before, he more so collected them as a hobby. Some of them even cost him a decent chunk of savings just to acquire, for what reason he didn't know, until now. He placed the books on the table, adjusting his glasses as he flipped through the pages of the ancient tombs. He flipped through page after page, searching for something, like a calling in the dark he desperately searched for, until he paused, seemingly having found the light switch.

The page he was on detailed an ancient being known as Pasitheroth, a demon capable of granting one's true desires through sacrifice and worship. A being that had reality warping capabilities far beyond human compression, this… this is where he would find success. His small chuckle broke into deranged laughter as he gripped the book with force, meticulously reading over the pages that detailed the rituals to contact such an entity. 

Joseph wasted no time, he frantically went around his home, making preparations, even pulling up the carpet to get to the hardwood floor beneath. All while his television played in the background. He worked well into the night, carving into the wood floors, lighting candles and chanting ancient spells from within the book. Unfortunately, his craft would not see its end, as he was about to light the final candle, the alcohol in his system started to catch up with him. He started to feel dizzy as the world around him started to spin. He tried to desperately light the last candle, but it was too late, as he soon collapsed to the ground as the world around him faded, and he soon blacked out.

He awoke just before dawn, waking up slowly as his head was throbbing, a pain that seemed to pulse in bursts of blinding agony. He groaned as he sat up, his mind now clear as he was at least somewhat sober now. He looked around, looking at the sigil carved into the floor, well there goes his deposit. The candles have all seemed to have burnt out, but one caught his attention. The one he could have sworn he didn't get a chance to light was somehow burning, and it was still burning, unlike the others. He sighed as he leaned down, in swift breath, he blew out the candle.

As soon as the candle went out, so too did the other devices In his house, including his television, plunging Joseph in darkness. He flinched as he looked around, did the power just go out. As he blinked, he noticed a faint glow that started to come from below, no, it couldn't…. He looked down to see the sigil starting to glow. Oh, that wasn't good, oh God what had he done? 

In an instant, the floor started to shake and rattle everything around him, his heart threatening to burst as he watched the large shadow like figure manifest in front of him. He could only watch, his mouth and eyes opened wide as it stood there, it's many eyes staring right back at him.

“Human.” It bellowed with a commanding force. “It has been many moons since I've been summoned, and yet upon my arrival, I see no sacrifice in my name, no gift for my presence. Why is that?” It asked in a cold and unfeeling tone. Joseph sat there dumbfounded for a moment. Sacrifice? A sacrifice! In order to get anything, including getting his presence, from Pasitheroth, a sacrifice was required. It seemed in his drunken state he forgot such an important detail. Oh, this wasn't good.

“An explanation mortal, I asked for didn't I? Or have you lost your tongue?” Pasitheroth growled, his tail smacked against the floor like a whip, causing Joseph to jump. He swallowed hard as he spoke.

“P-Pasitheroth, great old one, I have made a… terrible mistake, please I beg for your forgiveness.” Joseph stammered out, getting on his hands and knees and bowing his head down. His body racked with tremors, he knew this wasn't going to work, the best he could beg for at this point was a quick death.

“Hmmm… I see…” Pasitheroth began, he seemed to be thinking about something before he spoke. “Human… I have not been summoned in many moons, not in the last thousand years have I been worshiped by mortals… I will consider you summoning me as a gift itself.” Pasitheroth said, his demeanor calm as he leaned down. Joseph immediately shot up, he was surprised such a powerful being would show mercy on him. 

“Humor me mortal. What is it you desire so badly you have resorted to summoning me?” Pasitheroth asked. Joseph only sat there dumbfounded for a moment before he snapped out of his thoughts.

“Well I…” He started, thinking of his words carefully. “I guess… I wish to be successful. My whole life I've given to my craft, to be like the television I watch everyday, to provide a perfect show for all to see, and yet… I've been laughed at, tossed aside. No one seemed to understand my creative vision.” Joseph trailed off, before he shook his head. “I suppose… I figured if I was to give up something, it would be towards something that could give me results but… It seems In my rush I… have nothing to offer you…” Joseph muttered, his fear rising once more. 

Pasitheroth seemd to pause, as it started to think. It looked over at Joseph and then over at his television. It had never seen such a fangled device in its many years of living. But yet it seemed to have captured the devotion of this man, and by the sounds of it, it had captured the hearts of many others. It reminded of his glory days, all of the worship, the power he gained from the devotion of those who sought him out. He longed for those days once more… Perhaps those days could happen yet again? 

“Human… despite your negligence, I feel for your struggle. I have come to a decision, I will help you in your quest, but at a great cost, one I know you can provide.” Pasitheroth spoke, his voice still strangely calm, but Joseph didn't see the strangeness in that. He didn't see the warning signs as he looked up and smiled.

“You… you will…? What- what do you need? I will give anything!” Joseph said, wanting nothing more than to please Pasitheroth and hope to live another day. Pasitheroth only chuckled.

“Simple. Step into the sigil. That is all I need, and my power will be yours.” Pasitheroth said as it took a step back, still standing in the sigil. Joseph paused. It was the sigil that was keeping Pasitheroth bound, it kept it from reaching out and attacking him. But he knew that if he said no now, it would mean even worse consequences. Joseph slowly stood up. He shifted a bit before he slowly took a step forward. The second both of his feet stepped into the sigil, he felt a strange pain behind his eyes. He gasped as he grabbed his head, slumping forward as the pain seemed to grow more and more by the second. 

He tried to move, to get out, to make the pain stop, but he couldn't seem to move. He only moved when he felt a claw on his chin, forcing his face to look up at Pasitheroth, it's hundreds of eyes staring right at him into his soul as he silently screamed in agony, yet no noise came out of his mouth. Pasitheroth said nothing. He only stared at  Joseph, watching as his eyes widened in fear before they inevitably closed, and that was the last time Joseph would see Pasitheroth.

It would take a day before he started to move again, his body still a heap on the floor. He got up slowly, his movements slow, as if he didn't know how to move his limbs. What happened? Why did his head feel so fuzzy? He wasn't sure, but he managed to stand up, slowly making his way to his bathroom. As he stood over the stink, he looked at himself, but that wasn't right. What was looking back at him wasn't his face. It wasn't him it wasn't… Who was it? Who… Who was he? He began to panic. He knew this wasn't his face, it wasn't him, but who was he? What did he look like? What was his name? What was it what was it what was it what was it whAT WAS IT WHAT WAS IT WHAT WAS HIS NAME???

He ran out into the hall. Where was he? This was his home? Wasn't it? He didn't know. He ran into the living room, and he saw it, something that gave him a moment of clarity. He walked over slowly. He dropped to his knees in front of the television, and he could see his reflection on the screen. He hated it, but past that, looking at the television, there was something about it that brought him comfort. Maybe… maybe he could… look like that? Yes… yes, he could be like that… he could be like the television. He could… look like that.

He gave a grin as he started to chuckle, as it slowly became a full-blown laugh. Of course, the answer was looking him right in the face. How could he be so blind? It was so simple… he grabbed the edges of the television. He had work to do.

~

Mr. Puzzles walked through the halls of the castle, humming an old tune. He couldn't remember where he heard it from, but he always found himself humming it when he was deep in thought. Unfortunately, his tune was interrupted by the sound of clattering armor running towards him. He opened his eyes as he turned around to see a guard standing behind him.

“My lord, apologies if I interrupted you at all.” The guard started. As soon as he spoke the words “My lord” Mr. Puzzles felt that strange sensation he seemed to get in moments like this. The feeling never felt like his own, but it was pleasant nonetheless, a mixture of pride and pleasure. 

“However, King Rowan has asked for your presence in your shared chambers, my lord.” The guard said. The mention of his husband made his heart skip a beat, but Mr. Puzzles remained collected as he spoke.

“Did he say why?” Mr. Puzzles asked, though he felt he knew the answer.

“No my lord, unfortunately, he did not say, my apologies.” The guard said, but Mr. Puzzles only raised his hand. 

“No need, I'm sure it's nothing urgent, but I'll head up there immediately. You're dismissed.” Mr. Puzzles said as he waved his hand, the guard nodded, and returned to his post. Mr. Puzzles couldn't help but smile as that feeling came back. It seemed to always come when he felt important, when he felt powerful, like he mattered. 

But that wasn't important now, as he made his way back down the way he came, down the halls and up the stairs to the royal chambers. He opened the doors to his room and was met with confusion as he stepped in. His husband seemed to be nowhere in the room. At least, he didn't see him, but he soon got his answer as he felt a sudden pair of arms wrap around him from behind him.

“Surprise~” He heard a voice from behind. He chuckled as he looked back at Rowan. He always liked to surprise him like this.

“You requested my presence, your majesty?” Mr. Puzzles asked, his voice laced with sarcasm as he grinned “You know you don't need to get the guards to come and fetch me, you have a phone, you could call me.” Mr. Puzzles said as he rested his hands on top of Rowans. Rowan only chuckled as he pressed his face against Mr. Puzzles back. 

“I know, but I know if I ask the guards, you'll always come immediately.” Rowan said, his hands wandering upward, causing Mr. Puzzles to chuckle. 

“Handsy are we?” Mr. Puzzles asked, and Rowan couldn't help but let out a chuckle. 

“Just a bit” Rowan said as he finally let go, allowing Mr. Puzzles to finally turn and look at him. When their eyes met, Mr. Puzzles felt that feeling take over again. He could see the love in Rowan's eyes, the love for him, that was just for him, only him, oh how he adored that. Knowing all of that love was only for him and no one else.

“So, what was it you wanted then?” Mr. Puzzles asked as he tilted his head, and Rowan let out a hum. 

“Oh, nothing important, it's a bit silly.” Rowan started, but Mr. Puzzles only laughed as he finished his sentence.

“You wanted to watch movies with me, didn't you?” Mr. Puzzles asked. Rowan let out a hardy laugh. Oh, how Mr. Puzzles adored that laugh. He wished he could hear it all the time.

“I suppose I'm too easy to predict. If it's not too much trouble for you, that is? You can make some time for me, right?” Rowan asked. He hooked a finger under Mr. Puzzles bow tie as he pulled him closer. Mr. Puzzles only chuckled as a crimson blush spread across his face. God, he loved this man.

“Of course I have time for you, so long as I get to pick the move.” Mr. Puzzles said with a smirk, causing Rowan to let out another laugh as he pulled Mr. Puzzles by his bow tie over to their bed. 

“I suppose I can live with that arrangement.” Rowan said as he lifted his hand up from his bowtie, running his finger under Mr. Puzzles head, which caused Puzzles antenna to twitch. Rowan walked over and sat down on their bed, and Mr. Puzzles stood there for a moment, he blinked  as he snapped out of his trance, laughing as he shook his head. Rowan always knew how to push his buttons. 

As Puzzles made himself comfortable sitting down near the edge of their bed, Rowan made himself comfortable practically in Puzzles lap, but Mr. Puzzles didn't mind the invasion of space one bit. He reached over, grabbed the remote, pressed a button, and watched as the flat screen on their wall flicked to life. A strange sense of peace seemed to wash over him as the movie started to play, a familiar feeling he had never forgotten. He smiled as he wrapped his arm around Rowan, and he smiled. This is where he beloned. 

[psychiccent]

Shinkane Week Day 1 - Thoughts, HCs and Wishes ~Urban/Rural Edition~

ALRIGHT so initially, I wanted to write shinkane snippets for the week but I'm just too darn shy for that. ANWAY.

The scenario that would fit into the current Psychoverse that I can imagine would involve Akane's late grandmother and her profession noted in data collections. I never thought it was a coincidence that Kogami has a preference for paperback or "real" books as opposed to virtual ones, and that Akane's gran was a Librarian of all things while in the workforce. Or that Ko never got to formally meet the woman who was arguably the closest to Akane in the series as a whole.

On that note, I HC that Akane ends up speaking to Ko about her grandmother and the significant role that woman played in her life. It's commonplace to catch these two wrapped up in a conversation, whether it is reminiscing about a shared past event or sharing their views with one another. These two communicate exceptionally well MOST of the time ( Gonna skirt past that balcony scene here lololol). So, what could Akane share with Ko, given the subject?

If the library had since been decommissioned and the building effectively abandoned (like one of the blackout zones we see in the very first episode), I could easily imagine Akane knowing the location of the old protected storage for books being preserved through the ages. These chambers do exist in our world today, however if the mass digitalization of texts spurred the official shutdown of the library in our fictional Psychoverse, it was most likely left to decay with the rest of the building.

Then again, maybe Akane's gran had found a way in her younger years to utilize the storage but always kept the entrance hidden or obscure enough to warrant no real interest. If Akane's grandmother also had a love for the books she tended, maybe she would have wanted to preserve them in some way. If maintained over the years, Akane's grandmother may have kept returning to this place, transforming it into her own private study/haven. Once she became too old to maintain the timeless study herself, Akane's grandmother may have passed the task over to Akane.

So, maybe... MAYBE Akane clears a shelf for Ko, guides the man there, and shares this small part of herself with him. With a joke about him being free to store any books here that he doesn't want to get "lost" tossed in for added kick xD. But of course, that's just my wishful thinking.

Just gonna slip this in here because I missed vital instructions lmao: @shinkaneweek

[elena-oc-blog]

My first art piece in almost a month and it's this silly creecher again

No I will not provide context <3 You will just have to be in the anathema server to know. Only thing I will clarify is that that Goll is my memey way of writing Gold since Golb is the adventure time chaos god haha.

But yeah

Im alive. Just really have been going through it and still am going through it. I will be okay though and im not in any danger nor have i been! My mental health just has been in a real rough spot and today i was just able to break through it for a moment to draw something silly.

Donkey Dan is truly my muse when it comes to getting back into art.

Anway see you whenever i see you again. Can't promise it will be soon

[gramarye]

really really long post where i just talk about johan from yugioh gx thank you

im thinking about johan tonight bc i was drawing him and i wanna talk abt him. bear with me. I REALLY LIKE JOHAN . TO START THIS OFF WITH i have an official licensed johan "WHERE AM I" shirt and i adore it its really funny also i used to have like a johan pin i bought from a german anime store and it was like 8 euros but i shipped it off to my friend who is really really crazy about johan

^johan where am i shirt

anyway johan. jessejohan. i like johan so much believe me he is my nordic scandinavian brethen i just think his writing has issues mainly that he has like no real relationships outside judai and like. i know as a gay person -- i am literally a lesbian In A Lesbian Relationship In Real Life -- that characters will become more likeable when they're queer coded bcuz its Different and its relatable. however i think his writing is kind of really weak and i quote this thing my friend said in 2022 like a lot

HARD TRUTHS TO SWALLOW jesse is a beautiful damsel in distress and his personality outside jaden and crystal beasts is kind of nothing. i love him tho

but the most offensive thing abt it writing wise is like in season 4 when they duel against trueman sorry it was fujiwara. okay i was rewatching gx ages ago and my ex was watching it with me and it was her first time seeing it and shes a literature major and when the whole. "what is the darkness in johan's heart" scene, AFTER IT WAS ESTABLISHED EVERYONE, EVERY STUDENT INCLUDING MANJOUME SHO ASUKA O'BRIEN ETCETC has darkness in their hearts,

my ex goes "if they reveal that he has no darkness in his heart because hes such a special boy im going to be so fucking mad because hes already a mary sue" (HER WORDS NOT MINE she was so mad about johan its funny.) AND THEN THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY DO

like he is literally too perfect. his only flaw is his one (1) time thing about getting lost which is never really brought up again (also its more of an endearing haha funny thing and yes i like it i have a shirt referencing that scene.) and the fact that.. he gets taken over i guess.

i do think the switch around where they bamboozle fujiwara is really funny. it is a funny scene i just wish they literally didn't do it at the cost of "johan is a perfect person without any mental weaknesses when literally every single other character has some flaws" I DONT GET IT!!!

maybe he can just photosynthesize his worries into strength i dont know. does anyone remember that meme

but really like WHAT IS JOHAN WITHOUT JUDAI!!!! why is he literally perfect and above other characters also. why could they not give him any darkness like What possible reason does that serve except me think he is BORING!!!! i do like johan btw as i said i really do. i just think his writing kinda sucks and people are way too nice on johan because he is queer coded but the fact is his writing is really weak. this isnt exclusive to johan ok i also dislike some aspects of jadens writing and asukas and so forth (naming characters i really like to prove my point) I AM CRITICAL this is just. about johan. ok.

and this brings me to the weirdo youtube essayists who only care about s3 and think its the peak of gx and yugioh in general and also. ONE SUCH YOUTUBER. WHO SAID IT IS "HOMOPHOBIC" THAT JESSE IS SOUTHERN IN THE DUB WHICH. WHAT?

you think all southern people all homophobic??? im sorry but i know so many goddamn queer people in thhe south. are you out of your mind. please blow up. LET HIM BE A GAY TEXAN you are just showing your own prejudice literally why did so many gx fans eat up "umm it was homophobic of 4kids to make him southern" they give like everyone accents. he has cowboy boots in his design. its not homophobia hes just southern and southern gay people exist. watch brokeback mountain or something

anway

i think johan is a much more interesting character if you incorporate his manga counterpart into it. like combine him with his anime self and it'd be really fun. his bug enthusiasm in the manga is fun like he has an actual hobby and personality. ADHD bug king

also i think personally they should lean into him being scandinavian more. ITS FUNNY. i think he should try to feed manjoume blodplättar because he looks anemic. he should open a can of surströmming around asuka (canonically very much hates food with strong smells) and she gets so upset she has to like leave the building entirely. she should get into a cultural dispute with o'brien because he thinks carola's swedish cover of mickey is better than toni basil's original

i think this and like. septembers mikrofonkåt is what he should listen to. swedish pop baby

anyway. i like johan i just think Some of his fans are insane and thats why i need to take him down a peg every now and then . in a loving bully way. also hes very gender to me dont worry about it. also TWO different people have said some variation of the "fuck danganronpa and its fans i hope komaeda marries a woman" post about him to me in different years which is so funny.

anyway yes i love jessejohan. send post

[mephinomaly]

[TL] PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 15

[ This post uses Ois~su ♪ ]

Kaoru: Okay guys, calm down~♪

It’s not very attractive if you get all flustered, is it, you two?

Koga: …!? Hakaze-senpai!

Adonis: There’s two Hakaze-senpais? No, that's the real Hakaze-senpai?

Kaoru: Yup. Sorry about being late. I heard you were touring as HELLSING but you kept getting further and further away from ES.

It was difficult to catch up with you, wasn’t it Rei-kun?

Rei: Mhm. We had other prior commitments to attend to so I thought we wouldn’t have enough time to come visit you. I was rather worried.

Koga: Sakuma-senpai is here too… W-what are you doin’? Ain’t you got things to be doin’, like those stupid variety shows?

Rei: Of course, I have already taken that into account.

Prior to our departure, I informed the staff and actors that we would be unable to participate. We have recorded a lot of footage already as well.

So we will not be needed for recording for some time.

Since I thought something of this manner would happen, I prepared in advance.

Adonis: That is very Sakuma-senpai of you. How did you know these sorts of things would happen?

Rei: Kukuku. There are always signs, albeit few, however I use them to make a decision.

Therefore, I am always prepared. That is all there is to it.

My grudge against the world is no more, and I have stopped shutting myself away in a coffin. So I never lose something, or someone, again, I must follow Adonis-kun’s example, and work as hard as possible.

Koga: Hm. You need t’work, ya vampire bastard~, all you do is laze around.

Jeez, man~... it worries me everytime. You lay there motionlessly ‘n I worried you’ve died.

Rei: I won’t dieee~. Living is fun, after all.

And what’s more, you are all precious human beings who overcome their difficulties by yourselves, without expecting me to do it for you.

I already am well acquainted with the idea. Since UNDEAD’s very first performance, my conviction has only grown stronger.

Consequently, I am able to rest in peace.

You do not wear me out.

I am grateful that is a guarantee.

You saved me.

Kaoru: Aha, like always, Rei-kun only says notional things, so I’ll give you a substantial explanation, ‘kay?

Don’t let Rei-kun just say profound things. You’ve got to explain things properly, you know?

Rei: Yes yes, mama.

Kaoru: You just brought up a sore subject on purpose didn’t you?

Rei: You will all love and accept me no matter what I say or do, so I can afford to be a bit silly sometimes.

Kaoru: I’ll kick you.

…Anway, since we’re in the middle of a live, I’ll keep this brief.

Rei-kun and I dreamt again, about the past.

In the dream, we found the guy behind everything— and we got rid of him.

That’s why the fake versions of us are bugging out and shutting down. The person who was controlling them has been disposed of so can’t control ‘us’ anymore.

Koga: Huh? What? Whaddya mean, playboy!?

Kaoru: It’s been a while since you called me that. I didn’t tell you back then, but I didn’t mind that nickname.

Actually, being stiffly called ‘senpai’ makes me feel gross. It was distant and lonely to see Koga-kun acting weirdly obedient.

Koga: Oh, my bad, it’s just ‘cos I’ve been callin’ the fakes ‘playboy’ ‘n ‘vampire bastard’.

Kaoru: Ah, alright. So? Anything you want me to clarify?

Koga: Of course there fuckin’ is…!

Whaddya mean that you ‘got rid of the mastermind’!? Who was it!? Until now we’ve had no idea!

This ain’t a discontinued manga! Next thing you know you’ll be defeatin’ a super powerful villain character off screen!

Rei: They weren’t that powerful of a villain to be perfectly honest.

The mastermind was some insignificant person you could find anywhere.

The self-proclaimed ‘vampires’ referred to him as Dracula-kun.

Koga: That name… Wasn’t that the name we heard in the dreams?

Rei: Indeed. It is from a distorted reality, something that could not exist in reality.

I suspected that the mastermind was the reason for these strange dreams we had.

The culprit did not only want us to be the only ones having interesting, funny lives.

He too had dreams and desires. There were many things he wanted to accomplish.

Adonis: So did you find out why he did it?

Rei: Of course. The basics of any mystery novel. Who did it, and why did they do it?

One must analyse, enquire, make deductions, and uncover the truth.

Fortunately, the culprit was rather careless and left behind a substantial amount of evidence. Therefore figuring out why was rather easy.

Firstly, who caused this all? It was a former devotee of mine.

In the dream, a so-called ‘vampire’ who was previously subdued as part of a huge effort.

He worshipped me, admired me, and wanted to succeed me—

He was a Yumenosaki student who was crushed by the Student Council.

The culprit, Dracula-kun, was sacrificed as part of the Student Council’s schemes. Though I have been through that cruel experience myself, I believe one should learn the hard way.

They must repent, or face the same fate.

Koga: ...

Rei: He did not understand. He did not understand why he had been treated so negatively. He thought it was utterly irrational.

Angry and unhappy, he believed this current situation was the incorrect reality—

He tried to reshape history into what he believed to be the correct version.

In the ideal, perfect reality he envisioned, he was to be my best friend, my number one supporter, my most loyal subject—

He would be close to me, and loved by me.

Kaoru: This is kinda silly but, isn’t that basically what we’re like now?

Rei: Mhm. To be honest, I think he wanted to be a part of UNDEAD.

This time the culprit was a pitiful shell of a human, who yearned to be brought to life again. He was unable to be resurrected.

[ ☆ ]

Chapter 14

Chapter 16

[theloaqueen]

manifestation is instant

manifestation can & will be instant

there is always movement happening behind the scenes within the 3d even though we cannot see it & us loa lovers can do instant manifestation is just that we have limiting beliefs that is in the way that stops us from getting our stuff like our instant manifestations

now our limiting beliefs can be fixed of course but yes that sometimes stops us from getting what we want

our limiting beliefs can stop us only if you allow it

also yes limiting beliefs literally do exist bc us doing stuff like

- wavering because of us getting all worried about our desires even though we literally have them fulfilled already within the precious good looking 4d & yk what I might as well say this who cares if the desire did not come in the 3d it showed up in the 4d & the 4d is all that matters we are supposed to be/feel our manifestations anyways not exactly take it from the 3d so plz don't let the 3d bring you down bc you didn't 'get' your desires from it

stay delusional & continue imagining in the 4d yall

- is worrying about time time does not at all exist your desires can quite literally come at anytime & besides it is a man made concept anyways the only reason of to why your desire that haves a deadline or whatever did not come bc you prob worried about 'when' it will arrive when it did in the 4d already & you also worried about smt that does not exist for loa which is once again time

- you are lacking persistence & discipline now babe why are you somewhat purposefully stopping yourself from getting your own desires you could be the girl that haves her desires by now & showing everyone that success story but no you keep on getting in your own way now start persisting & disciplining yourself if you want that dream life of yours or just forever stay in the cycle of lack of persistence & discipline your choice

- comparing yourself & your loa journey to others now that isnt helping you at all within your very own loa journey at all isn't it no it is just making things take longer to happen for yourself due to you discouraging/demovaiting yourself because you think that the person who haves their desires or whatever is far much better than you & or they can achieve better success than you even though it isn't true like no babe

you are better than them

you can achieve better success than them

stop putting that person on the pedestal when instead you should be putting yourself the literal goddess of this reality on the pedestal

you should only be praising yourself you are the one in charge afterall

besides you should be the one that should be making them totally jealous & mad at your own success instead

if thoes aren't limiting beliefs than idk what is

now there are quite a few more limiting beliefs that I have in mind but am too lazy to write them all down so this is what you are getting

btw if yall want proof that instant manifestation is a thing

I literally manifested a session that I did not feel like doing today get cancelled on purpose through only affirming & I only affirmed that it would 3 times & once I was done I said 'it is done' & detached from my desire completely

now at first I was kinda hesitant to do that because I thought that it wouldn't work but hey it worked anways today & that is all that matters

so yeah there is my proof that instant manifestation is a real thing that was my very first manifestation btw that had happened today am actually so proud of myself for successfully manifesting that even if it is a small manifestation

now go get your desires or I will come to your house & slap you

[jakexneytiri]

I saw the unpleasant asks you got for talking about how wrong those "rp accounts" were acting. I'm sorry about that. I was one of the people who interacted with them and to be honest, I had a bad feeling from the start but I was like "Ok let's see what this is about" but soon enough they started to show very disrespectful behaviours towards me and other girls, stuff so icky I don't even wanna describe but it's out there to be seen anways, so I decided to stop interacting. I was like "maybe it's just my trust issues" but no. Thank u for your post because you validated my feelings and intuition and I realized that yes, unfortunately, many people online are so in so much need of love and attention that they don't care or don't even see that account was *beyond* just a "darker" version of Neteyam - I hated how cocky that person portrayed Teyam as, from the beginning, if I'm being honest. I just chose to not listen to my reason which was stupid lol. I wanted to post something like eywaite did (I think that's the username. I apologize if it's the wrong person. My memory sucks.) but I didn't wanna maybe be misunderstood by people n accidentally start any more chaos in a fandom that was once so wonderful n magical n now its just honestly a very heavy place to be in :( I might not agree with everyone here and that's completely normal, it's the human experience, and there might be many people here who do not agree with me on many things BUT all I want for this fandom is peace and unity, for us to become a nice community to be in, again, if possible. People have free will and it takes almost everyone to cooperate for that to happen. Anyways. Thank you again for standing up for the right thing. I hope you have a good day/night 🤍

it’s all good! i just think people need to use their judgement on a platform like this, especially since we didn’t/still don’t really know anything about the people behind the accounts. if your happiness is being dictated by conversing with a stranger pretending to be a fictional character, you need to go and find something that makes you happy irl. that shouldn’t be the case. rp is supposed to be between someone you know and trust. if you want to do it but don’t know someone personally, there’s a shit ton of bots out there! have at it!

i get people are trying to hold on to neteyam, but at what point will we look ourselves in the mirror and realise he’s not coming back. maybe in flashbacks but for real, when will we realise it’s time to move on.

and for the people complaining about the fandom not being “active”, it very much is. you’re just not looking in the right places if you think that’s the case. and if you’re concerned about the fandom dying, then be sure to reach out to your favourite writers/artists and just check in!! tell them how much you love ___ ! send them an inbox! keep the interactions going. if you simply like someone’s post and don’t interact with it, and then you wonder why that person doesn’t post as much anymore, you have your answer.

i hope you also have a good day/night ☀️🌙