#ant x sarah

[sash-au]

Ant: Sarah kissed me! James: Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Ant: It was unbelievable! James: Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Clint: Okay, we wanna hear everything. Anthony, get the drinks and pause the music. Ant, does this end well or do we need tissues? Ant: Oh, it ended very well Anthony: Do not start without me! James: Okay, alright, let's hear about the kiss. Was it a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, "I gotta have you now" kind of thing? Ant: Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then, oh god, and then we just sort of sunk into it Clint: Ohhh... So, okay, was she holding you? Or were her hands on your back? Ant: First they started out on my waist and then they slid up and then they were in my hair James, Clint, and Anthony: Oooooooh *Meanwhile* Sarah, eating pizza in her dorm: And, uh, and then I kissed him Clara: Tongue? Sarah: Yeah Steve: Cool

[whorelaud]

OFF LIMITS – rafe cameron ¡ (06)

social media & irl AU !

pairing brother's best friend!rafe cameron x brat!reader summary you slide into a random boy's dms on instagram, anything but expecting him to end up being your brother's best friend, let alone the person you'll be spending your summer vacation with. while resisting Rafe and his lingering gazes was an option, you found yourself in the constant loop of crossing the line; said line being your brother. ch content fluff, suggestive (sorry...) unresolved tension, a slight panic attack (nothing too serious!), confrontation, lil angst?!?!

NAVIGATION. series masterlist | 05 ! 06 ¡ 07

rafecameron

WY@ - brent faiyaz 

liked by sarahcameron, ryanontop and 1,982 others

rafecameron Doing shit I really shouldn't do for real 🤷🏼‍♂️

view all comments 

yourusername nice post g ↳ rafecameron Thanks g ↳ yourusername you're welcome homie 💯 ↳ rafecameron I’m not your homie ↳ yourusername alr bro 😎 ↳ rafecameron 🤐 

yoursername rafe cameron is never beating the slut allegations ↳ rafecameron I'll take that as a compliment thank you! Learned from the best 😊 ↳ yourusername Are you slut shaming me right now ↳ rafecameron WHAT NO I’m just saying like you know ahah Ahaha fuck ↳ yourusername yeah right ↳ popeheyward This is gross by the way ↳ yourusername shut up

sarahcameron put that cigarette down little boy ↳ rafecameron Did bug give you the ‘little boy’ virus… ↳ yourusername it's not a Virus. Embrace it 💜 ↳ rafecameron Okay 💜

sarahcameron you forgot the #aimed ↳ rafecameron Shut up Sarah ↳ yourusername LMAO

yourusername watchu know about brent ⁉️ ↳ rafecameron I love Brent ↳ yourusername hmm 🤔 ↳ rafecameron Are you doubting my music taste right now? ↳ yourusername Yes

ryanontop Shii baby you look fine asl 😍 ↳ rafecameron Stawp! 🙊 ↳ jjmaybanks Awh fawk nah

popeheyward Yooo 🫡 liked by rafecameron

user1 Nah who got my dawg posting song lyrics ☠️

user2 Bro’s pussy whipped

user3 who hurt you bae ❤️

user4 may god bless me with your genes ↳ user3 ?? what ↳ user4 im saying iw ant to have his kids 😊

user5 bismallah my body had a reaction to the third slide ❤️

user6 this is fucking insane go fucking kill yourself you fucking manwhore stop fucking posting shit like this ↳ yourusername this is so real you go user6 ↳ user6 thank you 😇 someone needed to say it ↳ rafecameron Uhhh

user7 i told my parents about us

kelc3eee Fit is hard 🔥 ↳ rafecameron Thanks

It’s been three days since you last kissed Rafe, and yet, you still couldn’t get the thought out of your head, reminiscing over the memory each time you strived to distract your mind from it. 

Waking up the next morning was like a punch to your stomach, your hopes of it being a dream instantly destroyed with the harsh reality of kissing Rafe. You ended up practically locking yourself in your room, too afraid Rafe might say something, address the said kiss and stupid mistake of reaching for his face in the first place. 

To your surprise, Rafe did not bring it up, greeting you with a sheepish grin once you joined them downstairs. It puzzled your brain, as it filled with a million questions over why he didn’t make an effort to bring it up. It was slightly disappointing, even if it was a mistake, he had every right to sort out the situation, pull you to the side and remind you how wrong it was to kiss him, knowing well aware that he was forbidden to the touch. 

But he didn’t, and if he did hint it, you definitely chose to look past it, brushing it off everytime you found yourself alone with him, choosing to avoid the situation and feign ignorance to the way your heart would stupidly flutter.  

Now, three days have passed, and things are, well, they’re normal. Your friends were surfing, while you sunbathed on the shore, not in the mood to get yourself wet. Rafe, of course, never left Ryan’s side, messing around with your brother to get him riled up, knowing how mad he easily got. 

Their giggles echoed through the distance, tugging a faint smile on your lips as you admired from afar, squinting your eyes due to the bright sun beaming through your skin, blocking your vision even with the pair of sunglasses you had on. 

Your arms plopped up against the towel beneath you, supporting your body from giving out, even after maintaining the same position for over a while now. The smile on your lips faltered at the sight of Rafe exiting the water, straightening up when you noticed him strolling in your direction. 

Heat flushed your face as you caught sight of his bare chest, waterdrops running along the sunkissed flesh, leading down to his drenched shorts, as they hung low around his hips. Your throat ran dry when your gaze halted just beneath his bellybutton, the trail of hair leading to under the fabric of his bottoms leaving little to the imagination. It drove you crazy, eager to see where it guides, head wandering with sinful thoughts every time you caught sight of it. 

You cleared your throat, busying yourself with something else, fearing Rafe would catch you practically thirsting over him. The latter however, didn’t say much, dusting the sand off the towel beside yours, before he sprawled himself next to you, crossing his legs to mimic your position. 

“Why aren’t you joining the rest?” Rafe questioned, cutting through the comfortable silence. 

“Not in the mood.” You replied, keeping your answer short, afraid your voice would crack if you further spoke. 

“‘S that so?” He shot back, nudging your foot with his knee. “You’re boring.” 

“Boring?!” You muttered with defense, offended by the remark. “Take that back.” 

“Hmm…” he trailed off, squinting one of his eyes, blinded by the scorching sun. “No.” 

“You’re such an idiot.” You scoffed, stifling out a laugh. “Are you not going back in the water?”

“I am,” he exclaimed, now turned in your direction. “Can I borrow these real quick?”

“Borrow what?–” Your question was cut short, as Rafe’s hand came in view, not giving you a chance to process his action as he snatched the sunglasses off, causing you to yelp with surprise. “What the hell?!”

“Oh, these are nice.” He mumbled, adjusting them around the bridge of his nose. “A bit small, but ‘s fine.” 

“You’re stretching them out!” You gasped, reaching for them back, merely for the boy to dodge your hand, tilting his head down with a mischievous grin smeared all over. “C’mon, Rafe, don’t be like this.” 

“Like what?” He cocked his head to the side, observing you through his now tinted vision. 

“Rafe!!” You cried out, fully sitting up now. “I spent my hard earned money on these, I’ll kill you if they break.”

“Your hard earned money?” He repeated, further teasing you with his comments. 

“Okay, my dad got them for me, but–” you started, growing a bit embarrassed at the admission. 

“I’ll give them back,” he hummed, taking them off and folding them in place. “Only if you join me, though.” 

“I’m not going in the water.” You refused, dismissing his attempt with a nod of disbelief. 

“Why not?!” He cooed, “Come on, it'll be fun.” 

“Are you crazy?” You clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth. “I’m not getting my hair wet.” 

“Please?” He further pleaded, jutting his lips into a pout. “Ryan left, who am I gonna be with, now that he’s gone?”

Your head shifted back to the water, merely to confirm his statement. And true to his words, Ryan was no longer in sight, having probably disappeared back into the house in the short while you and Rafe were arguing. 

“Hang out with the rest.” You shot back, addressing your friends, as they messed around with each other. “They’ll keep you company.” 

“Have you seen them?” Rafe’s face twisted with disgust, his lips forming into a frown. “They’re eating each other’s faces, God knows what they’re doing in that water.”

“Okay, that’s enough.” You replied, disregarding his statement, and looking past the last sentence he muttered. You saw your chance, and took it, contemplating before you snatched the pair of glasses from his hold, muffling your next words with haste. “I’ll kill you next time you steal my stuff.” 

“Is that a yes?” Rafe perked up with excitement, taking your silence as a yes before he shot up, instantly offering you a hand. “Let’s go.” 

“What?” You angled your head back, locking your gaze with his, slightly taken aback by the hand he offered. “I don’t recall agreeing to this…”

“Well, you’re obligated to join me now; don’t give me false hope then back down when I urge you to do it.” He started, his words somehow foreshadowing a deeper meaning to the teasing statement. Rafe bent down, just enough to take his hand in yours before he pulled you up, a screech of surprise rattling out of your throat. 

“Rafe!” You chanted with disbelief, stumbling over your own feet in the process of running, unable to catch up with Rafe, who hurried his way to the water. “Slow down!”

He replied with a chuckle, a rush of adrenaline pumping through your veins as the water touched your feet, engulfing your legs with each step you took, halting when it was just above your knees. 

“Wait– fuck, it’s cold.” You started, hands grabbing Rafe’s forearm for support, a mere attempt to stop him. And it did, with the boy pausing to steal a glimpse in your direction. “Let me get used to the water temperature.” 

“You’ll get used to it in no time.” He rolled his eyes, though he slowed down his pace, walking leisurely for you to adjust to the cold. 

Rafe chuckled as a wave came crashing against your bare torso, stiffening in your spot as a shiver ran down your spine, causing goosebumps to break out across your arms. A deep sigh tumbled past your parted lips, finger nails practically digging into Rafe’s arms everytime a wave would hit. 

Your friends greeted you from afar, not questioning the fact that you were alone with Rafe, a big distance separating you from the rest. Deep down, you speculated the fact that they knew, choosing to avoid the topic every time Sarah would ask about Rafe, or whether there was any progress in whatever you had; which you’d dismiss, telling her it was nothing. 

“Can we stop here?” You questioned, when the water barely reached your chin, now standing on your tippy toes to keep yourself steady with the flowing water. 

“Here?” Rafe repeated, brows knitting with confusion. “Why, are you scared?” 

“Slightly, yeah.” You admitted, pursing your lips into a thin line to avoid water from entering your mouth. “This is the deepest I’ve been without a life jacket.”

“Wait, you’re serious?” Rafe’s expression coiled with concern. 

You nodded, angling your head up, not risking how rocky the waves get. 

“Don’t worry,” Rafe suddenly spoke, earning your attention when his arm sneaked around your waist, ceasing some of the distance separating you from him. “I got you.” 

“Nope, that’s it, I’m getting out.” You muttered, turning in his arms, in an attempt to walk back out, merely for Rafe to tighten his hold around you, with your back now pressing firmly to his broad chest. 

Your breath caught in your throat, suddenly very aware of his presence, and the mess you got yourself into. For some reason, this felt oddly intimate, despite the boy’s pure intentions, striving to convince you to continue on with him, in spite of you refusing to. 

“I’ll hold you.” His voice dropped barely above a whisper, turning you back around, all while keeping himself steady. “Don’t be scared.”

“But I am scared,” you replied, emphasizing the ‘am’ in the process. “Sure, I know how to swim, but what if you get a cramp, and I try to save you, then both of us drown?” 

“Come on, I’ll be your life jacket.” He grinned, deliberately dragging you deeper into the water. “Are you doubting my skills?”

“That’s not what I’m saying.” You uttered, eyes widening when your feet could no longer reach the ground. “My parents will kill you if something happens to me, I swear to god.” 

“Then I’d have to get rid of both of us.” He joked, halting when you were far enough from the shore, stilling you with the arm sturdy around your waist. “How is that? Wanna go deeper?” 

“No!” You quickly shot back, hands flying to his shoulders, holding onto them to keep yourself from sinking. “This is good.” 

“If you say so.” He chuckled, ignoring the way his pulse quickened when your hands made contact with the skin around his shoulders, your nails lightly dragging over the flesh. He rubbed soothing circles to your side, the gesture a mere attempt to ease you up. “Relax, nothing is gonna happen to you.” 

“I’m relaxed.” You lied through your teeth, avoiding Rafe’s gaze, and instead admiring the view surrounding the rocky path leading to the mountains. “It’s so pretty from here.”

“It is.” Rafe mumbled, attention fixed on you. “Super pretty.”

Your lips tugged into a smile at his words, head shifting back in his direction, where he was shamelessly staring at you, not even failing to hide it. You dusted your face with your fingers, flashing Rafe a confused look, as to question why his gaze burned through you. 

“Is there something on my face?” You asked, coming to a halt when he shook his head. “Then what is it?” 

“Nothing,” he stifled out a laugh, the corner of his lips curling into a smirk. “You’re jus’ pretty.” 

“What?” You choked through a breath, growing flustered from the sudden compliment. “What was that for?” 

“What?” Rafe’s tongue darted out, coating his lips with a glossy layer of spit. “I said, you’re pretty. Is that not allowed?” 

“Shut up.” You shoved his shoulder, laughing off your embarrassment, though your ears burned with heat. 

“You know,” Rafe swallowed, admiring your surroundings. “I heard there were sharks in this area.” 

“What? Where?” You shouted, heartbeat quickening as panic settled in. “Don’t fuck with me, Rafe!”

“I thought you liked sharks.” His voice lowered with suspicion, eyebrows arching in a teasing manner. 

“Not as they’re about to fucking eat me.” You replied, fully ceasing the distance as you wrapped your arms around Rafe’s neck, pressing your chest close to his. “Get me out of here.” 

Rafe took your horror as a chance, the hand on your waist trailing up your back, until it settled just beneath your bikini top. “Relax, it was a joke.” 

Your head turned to face him, ready to scold him before you noticed how close he was, nose tulling to brush over yours. A shaky exhale stuttered out of your throat, shivers running down your spine when you caught Rafe’s gaze flickering to your lips, the action so subtle, you would’ve looked past it if he wasn’t mere inches away. 

Rafe’s lips slightly parted, tongue fidgeting with the roof of his mouth, fingers squeezing around your side, striving to hold himself back, and not kiss you right then in there. You were close, a little too close for comfort, he wanted nothing but to fuck the barrier Ryan created for you two, dive in and hope for the best. 

His thoughts were interrupted when you shoved his shoulders, eyebrows furrowing as your lips jut into a pout, one evidently displaying your distress. “That wasn’t funny! Why would you joke about that?!” 

“Chill, I’m messing with you.” Rafe snickered, eyes glued to your face, well aware he’d betray himself if he let his gaze wander past your neck. 

“By telling me I’ll get eaten to death by sharks?!” You huffed, pausing as you angled your head to the side. “Wait– how’d you know I like sharks?”

“I have my ways.” He cooed, pupils dilating with glint. 

“Mhm, yeah right.” You rolled your eyes, figuring it was either Sarah, or your brother. “Let’s head back.” 

“But we just got here!” Rafe protested. 

“I don’t trust you.” You defensively shot back, shuffling around in his hold. 

Rafe chuckled, abiding to your order. He swam back, with you clinging to him for dear life, not daring to risk it and let go. Though, of course, that wasn’t the end, as Rafe suddenly froze, groaning while his face twisted in pain. 

“What’s wrong?” You immediately asked, concern washing over your expression. 

“I think– fuck.” He groaned, arms loosening around your waist. “I think my leg is cramping.”

“Wait what?” You frowned at his statement, eyes widening with shock when his figure disappeared out of sight, suddenly struggling to level himself with you. “Are you serious, oh my god, should I call for help?!” 

You nearly submerged under water when your arms reached for the latter, struggling to drag him up as he sailed down, your hold the only thing keeping him from sinking further into the deep sea. 

Wasn’t it easy to drag weights in the water? So, why was it so difficult to get Rafe to the surface?

“Don’t fucking drown on me, Rafe, please.” You muttered with frustration, heart welling with fear, as your vision blurred, the corner of your eyes brimmed with tears. “Somebody help! Please! It’s an eme–”

Your words cut short when Rafe came in sight, water splashing everywhere with the force of him exiting the water. Your mouth gaped to speak, met with utter silence in return, observing as Rafe chuckled at your reaction, feigning ignorance to your panicked state. 

“Did that get you?” He erupted into a fit of giggles, wiping the water from his eyes. 

“Are you serious?” Your tone washed with disbelief, heartbeat so loud you could hear it thumping through your ears. “Why would you joke about that?”

“Take a joke, it’s not that serious.” He stated, the smile smeared on his lips fading when he noticed how upset you visibly looked. 

“A joke is supposed to be funny, dickhead.” You fluttered your eyes, unable to manage the tears rolling down your face. “What if something actually happened to you?” 

“Wait, are you crying?” His breath hitched as he let realization sink in, chest swelling with discomfort at the consequences of his actions. You weakly punched his torso, fleeing from the touch when Rafe attempted to inch closer to you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

His hands cupped your face, resting just above the curve of your jaw as his thumb wiped away your tears, now mixed with salt-water. He repeatedly rubbed his finger over your cheeks, striving to calm you down with the subtle gesture. 

“It won’t happen again,” he started, tilting your head with the hands engulfing your face. “I didn’t think you’d take it so seriously.” 

“Whatever,” you dismissed his apology, though deep down it softened your heart. “It still wasn’t funny, I was scared you’d actually die.” 

Rafe’s lips twitched into a smile at your statement, unable to contain the laughter bubbling through his chest. You looked absolutely adorable, leaving him speechless as his action spoke for his affection. He moved forward, leveling your head down before he ceased the distance between you two, and capturing your lips in a soft peck that lasted a near of five seconds.  

Your body stiffened at the gesture, so taken aback you almost choked on your own spit in the process. The plush of his lips brushing over yours felt like feathers, as the warmness of his mouth engulfed your skin. It made you yearn for time to stop, enjoy this while it lasted, even if it was for a short moment. 

“There, it’s completely my fault.” He whispered once he pulled back, face mere inches away from yours, you could feel his breath fanning over your nose. “Does that make up for it?” 

Your gaze seeked his blue eyes through the small distance separating you, finger nails lightly grazing over his arms. Silence heaved the air, as the atmosphere filled with unresolved tension you’ve both been avoiding for the past few days, weeks, even. 

Rafe kissed you, and it’s not some stupid joke to get you riled up, or mess around for a reaction out of you. He did it because he wanted to, completely looking over the fact that you were his best friend’s sister, let alone someone he craved in the dimness of the night, somewhere hidden, where no one would judge him for it.  

Rafe has been dying to confront you about the kiss, turning into a giddy mess every time he would reminisce over the memory of your lips softly brushing over the corner of his mouth. And though it was small, barely a peck, it drove him insane. 

That night, Rafe chose to ignore the guilt rising through his chest as he got off to the thought of you; being able to touch you though he knew you were far out of his reach, not for his gaze to admire. His chest burned with forbidden desire, growing aroused every time he caught you in none but your sheer sleeping shorts, covering nothing and leaving little to the imagination. 

“You know,” Rafe muttered through a ragged breath, “About that ni–”

The palm of your hand instantly found Rafe’s mouth, covering it before he could further speak. You knew exactly what he was planning to say, but you weren’t ready. Not right now, still flustered by the kiss he so casually planted to your lips. 

Addressing the kiss from three nights ago in the middle of the water, mind you, in an area secluded from everyone else? Yeah, no. That wasn’t quite what you had in mind, Rafe left you no choice but to shut him out. 

“Hmm?” You hummed, trying to change the topic.

“What?” Rafe muffled, lips barely moving due to your hand covering his mouth.

“We should leave,” you fluttered your eyes at him, “The sun is setting.”

“Right,” he spoke, eyes shifting down to your digits yet engulfing his chin. “You can let go of me now.”

“Oh,” you swiftly retrieved your hand, clearing your throat as you turned around to avoid meeting his gaze. “Sorry.” 

“It’s alright,” Rafe scoffed, following in your steps as you struggled to swim back, breaking into a grin when your arms pushed through the water, slightly splashing the latter with the gesture. “Here, let me help you.” 

“I’m good!” You dismissed the suggestion, letting out a sigh of relief when your feet eventually reached the ground, ultimately approaching a safer zone. “I can handle myself.”

Rafe’s giggles seeped through the silence, watching with a glint of amusement as you aimed for the shore, running your way back to the house when you did so. You gave him no chance to confront you about the situation, though the suspense was killing you, it was just not the right time, nor a good place to do it. 

Freaking out felt like an understatement for your emotions, letting out a silent scream as soon as you approached your room. Fuck, this wasn’t the first time you’ve been kissed, so why did it feel like you were in middle school, sneaking around the playground to kiss your crush? 

It was humiliating, to say the least. Rafe kissed you, and it did nothing but make you grow more fond of him, increasing your affection for him. Butterflies seeped through your stomach, unable to suppress the smile forming on your lips, letting yourself go now that you’re alone. 

Your shower filled with giddiness, as you sang along to the lyrics playing in the background, too caught up with the act to realize you’ve spent the majority of the evening in there. You continued getting ready, doing your skincare, and technically everything you would do on an everything-shower day. 

A loud ping caught your attention as your gaze trailed down to your phone, eyebrows knitting with puzzlement when it continued buzzing with notifications. You adjusted the pearl necklace around your neck, fastening your pace when curiosity got the best of you, as you instantly aimed for your phone, heart skipping a beat when you read the contact name of the sender. 

It was from Rafe, multiple messages, at that. 

rafe 👍: Hey

rafe 👍: Come eat

rafe 👍: We got takeout 🥡 

A laugh bubbled out of your throat at the emoji, the invitation silly, yet tempting. 

You: im not hungry! go ahead and eat without me :)

rafe 👍: No

You: boy… wdym no 

rafe 👍: Come down and eat

Your eyes quirked with suspicion, puzzled over why he was insisting despite you refusing. 

You: did you poison my food

You: why are you insisting…

rafe 👍: Damn… I can't even invite you to eat without you making me out to be a dick

You: i mean you are what you eat 😇

rafe 👍:😐 Quit it

You: mb boo

You: is this a date

Rafe’s bubble appeared and disappeared off the screen, the amount of time he took concerning you for a moment. 

rafe 👍: Could be one

rafe 👍: Only if you want it to be

Your fingers hesitantly hovered over the keyboard, staring at the message, as if doing that would make the keen in his statement disappear. You swallowed around your dry throat, setting your phone down, merely to process your emotions. 

A date. 

He can’t say shit like this and expect you not to like him. 

At this point, he was playing with your feelings, and that thought alone had your heart breaking to pieces. It’s only been a month, and yet, you were this infatuated with him. Bearing to cross the line for Rafe spoke to you like no other, breaking the unspoken boundaries you set for each other. 

You don’t know when it started, from lingering gazes turned into subtle touches, eventually oscillated to heated moments smeared with desire. Wanting each other, not being able to do anything about it because it was wrong. It all fuzzed up your brain. 

Rafe was testing you, with each time he threw a hint in your direction. Hell, he should know not to confuse you, as he already went down the rabbit hole of why he couldn't date you, with Ryan warning him every time he’d joke about being into you. 

Enjoying it wouldn't hurt, right? Choosing to push the guilt down and let your heart bloom with joy every time Rafe is around was okay, right? Because it’s human nature, how were you supposed to ignore him when his mere presence was so tempting, making you nothing but crave him more. 

Guilt was temporary, but regretting this? It was going to haunt you forever, tulling you with decisions you hesitated to commit, afraid they would hurt others, fully abandoning how you felt. Those were your emotions, though, your needs, you had every right to take the risk. 

With that, you typed a playful ‘shut up’ back, before heading downstairs, instantly letting puzzlement settle in when you spotted only JJ and Kiara, sitting along with Rafe, who perked up at the sound of your steps.

“Where’s the others?” You questioned, wrapping Kiara in a swift embrace, before you seated yourself next to her. 

“John B and Sarah went out for dinner, and I saw Ryan leave with your dad.” She explained, chewing down the mouthful of food. “I have no idea where Pope and Cleo are, though.” 

“Oh, they said they’re grabbing booze.” JJ stifled out a laugh, eyebrows quirking in a teasing meaning. 

“For what?!” You asked, offering Rafe a tight-lipped smile when he passed you your plate. 

“Shut up, JJ.” Kiara rolled her eyes, fixing her attention back on you. “He’s messing, don’t listen to him.” 

“I’m not lying–” his words cut short when Kiara kicked his knee, the gesture earning a breathy grunt out of the latter. “What was that for?” 

“To keep your mouth shut.” The girl replied, forcing a fake beam across her lips. 

Rafe snorted as they continued bickering throughout the whole time you joined them. He flashed you an apologetic smile, not aware of the chaos awaiting you two. Fortunately, JJ and Kiara excused themselves once they were done, informing you they’d be chilling by the shore for the night, leaving you all alone with Rafe.

The air heaved with tension, the atmosphere filling with unspoken confessions you both oughted to address. Rafe’s been full, using the food as an excuse to enjoy your presence for a little longer. 

“‘You ignorin’ me?” Rafe started, scraping his fork against the veggie pieces splayed on the plate. 

“What?” You shot back, frowning at the sudden assumption. “Why would you think that?”

“Well, it’s just that,” he tilted his head to the side, putting the utensil in his hold down. “You seem uncomfortable.”

“Well, I’m not.” You mimicked, playfully rolling your eyes. “Besides, we don’t even speak for me to ignore you.” 

“Yeah, you’re right.” He nodded his head, gaze glued to his arm plopped on the table. “You’d rather kiss me instead.”

“What?” A choked cough barely exits your throat, eyes widening with shock over Rafe’s statement. That caught you off guard, even more when Rafe maintained a blank expression, offering you a glass of water to down the rest of your food. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, “Do you need more water?” 

“Why would you bring that up?” You brushed off his concern, his words echoing over and over in the back of your brain. 

“You kissed me,” he repeated himself, stating the obvious. “Did you not?” 

“I did, but–” you stammered, face flushing with heat. “I didn’t mean to?–”

“You grabbed my face, leaned forward, then proceeded to kiss me.” He muttered, reminiscing back to the memory. “What about that did you not mean?” 

“It was a mistake!” You hurried to respond, stumbling over your own words in the process. “I was drunk, out of my mind–”

“Oh, so it’s a mistake?” He snorted, straightening up in his seat. “You go around kissing people when you’re drunk?” 

“Okay, why are you being a dick?” Your nose scrunched with frustration, exploding in the latter’s face. “And if I do? Then what, you’re gonna do something about it?”

“I’m trying to make sense of the situation here,” he shot back, his arm moving in front of his chest. “I’m not fucking around, okay? I’ve been dying to speak to you, but you never gave me a chance to explain myself.” 

“What’s there to explain, Rafe?” Your voice lowered in tone, taken aback by how fast the conversation took a turn. “I’m like Sarah, huh? Then you go n’ fuckin’ kiss me?”

“Why are you switching the–”

“No, let’s discuss the incident from earlier, since we’re fucking talking.” You cut him off, jaw clenching to prevent yourself from breaking down. “You keep pulling these stunts on me– first in the grocery store, then in the car, and earlier in the water– what is it that you want? You know Ryan won’t be happy if he found out, so why do you keep– why do you keep fucking confusing me, Rafe?” 

“I–” Rafe’s words caught in his throat, hands clenching into fists. 

“Forget it.” You clicked your teeth, grabbing your phone as you stood to your feet, streaking your way past Rafe, with the intentions of reaching the stairs. 

Rafe called out your name, voice breaking with despair. “Where are you going?”

The way your name rolled off his tongue made your heart skip a beat, letting your eyes force shut as you feigned glancing back, afraid you’d give in if you caught sight of his expression. 

You entered one of the guest bathrooms, locking the door behind you before you immediately dialed Cleo’s number, impatiently clicking your fingers over the phone as you waited for the girl to pick up. 

A sigh of relief escaped your throat when she did, a bit of shuffling going on her end. 

“Hey Cleo,” you muttered through a breath, taking a deep inhale, as your thumb pressed to your bottom lip. “I– sorry, I know you’re out with Pope, I jus’ really needed to talk to someone and I–”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Cleo spoke, interrupting your rambling. “Take a deep breath, I’m not going anywhere, I’ll be here.” 

“Okay,” you nodded, though she couldn’t see you, obliging to her orders. “Sorry, fuck–”

“Why are you apologizing, girl?” She shot back, attempting to soothe away your worries. “Now slowly, tell me what’s bothering you.” 

“I kind of, uhm…” you trailed off, fidgeting with the ring hugging your finger. “I fucked up, Cleo. I got ahead of myself, and ruined everything.” 

“No you didn’t.” Cleo assured, “What happened? Don’t panic, okay? Everything will be alright.” 

“Alright, I didn’t mean to keep this from you, I thought it would be a fleeing moment, but I guess not?–” You hesitated, nervously biting your lip as you prepared yourself for the confession. “I kissed Rafe, and while it was somewhat, he tried to confront me about it, and I panicked!” 

“Okay, woah, woah.” Cleo uttered, disbelief visible through her tone. “When did that happen?” 

“Three days ago, after the party.” You huffed, angling your head back with a pout. “I’m such an idiot, why am I acting like something happened between us? I lashed out on him and stormed off, what if he regrets it?” 

“Well, you’re the one who kissed him.” Cleo clarified, “Why would he regret it?” 

“Actually– something sort of happened earlier…” you mumbled, clearing your throat. 

“Don’t tell me he fucking kissed you, Bug.” Cleo took a guess, making you freeze in your spot, not denying her suspicions. “He did? What the hell, and you didn’t say anything?” 

“Listen, I barely got time to process it, I was planning on telling you eventually.” A sigh stuttered out of your throat, crying out loud. “I’m so dumb, why did I get mad at him? It’s not even his fault!” 

“Calm down, baby, it will be alright.” Cleo secured, “I’m sure he understands, this is probably bothering him as well.” 

“What if he thinks I’m childish?” You questioned, “I felt so guilty, Cleo, I don’t want his friendship with Ryan to fall apart ‘cause of me.” 

“That won’t happen, trust me.” Cleo advised, her tone soft. “It’s obvious that you’re both attracted to each other, Ryan will have to accept it, he can’t interfere jus’ cause he doesn’t want you dating his friends.” 

“But he’s right,” your shoulders relaxed with disappointment, already imagining the scenery Ryan would put out. “And Rafe doesn’t like me, trust, I’m like ninety-nine percent sure he doesn’t.” 

“Ninety-nine?” Cleo cooed, earning a chuckle out of you. “Okay, come on, have you seen him? Pope told me about what happened on the way back, don’t tell me this man is not head over heels for you.” 

“Why’s Pope snitching?!” You scoffed, sniffling as you rolled your eyes. “Okay, maybe he might like me, he keeps dropping hints, but I don’t know?” 

“What hints?” Cleo’s tone glinted with curiosity, waiting for you to further speak. 

“He texted me earlier, and I was messing around but instead of brushing it off he went with the flow?” You explained, your words coming off as a question. “Maybe I’m misreading the situation, but let’s say he did like me, then what? What do we do, will we keep things a secret because of Ryan?” 

“Why are you thinking about that?” Cleo giggled, ridiculed by how much you were overthinking this. “Enjoy it, okay? You like him, go for it, don’t hold back.” 

“And if he doesn’t like me?” You stifled out a laugh, leisurely fluttering your eyes shut. “I don’t know, it started off as a joke, but I’m starting to for real like him, Cleo. I’ve never felt this way about someone before.” 

“Okay, there you go, you got your answer.” Cleo chanted, making you shake your head. “Now, I don’t mean to be nosy, but it’s your fault for mentioning it.” 

“God, what is it?” You rolled your eyes, already expecting what she was about to say.

“What did he say in those messages?” She asked, earning a chuckle out of you, as you moved the phone from your ear, already pulling up Rafe’s contact. 

You screenshotted the conversation, Cleo’s voice muffling through the speakers of your phone, her words fully incoherent. “Hold on, I can’t hear you.

Cleo remained silent, waited while you cropped the screenshot, before bringing the phone back to your ear. “Alright, what did you say?” 

“I said hurry up!” She chimed back. 

“Okay, someone’s curious.” You teased, pressing on the photo icon, before you selected the image and sent it over, waiting for Cleo to receive it. “There.” 

“You sent it?” She asked, humming as she pulled up your messages. “I don’t see anything.” 

“What? But I sen– oh.” you halted as you let realization kick in, immediately reaching for your phone, hoping your suspicions might be wrong. “Fuck, Cleo, I sent it to Rafe.”

An audible gasp escaped Cleo’s lips at the statement, words going unnoticed as Rafe’s text bubble appeared on the screen, not giving you a chance to delete it before he saw it. 

rafe 👍: ???

“Oh my God, he saw it.” You whispered, “Wait, let me go back to my room.” 

You creaked the door open, instantly shutting it when Rafe came in sight, heart thumping loud with panic. Your eyes widened a bit, when footsteps echoed through your ears, knowing the owner behind the noises.  

“He’s heading upstairs,” you informed Cleo in a hushed tone, “What do I do?” 

“Where are you?” She asked.

“I’m in the upstairs bathroom, the one down the hallway.” 

“Okay, wait ‘till he leaves, then go back to your room.” 

You nodded, even if the girl couldn’t see you, too nauseous to comprehend normal words out. Hell, that probably weirded him out, what will he think now? 

However, despite how nervous you grew, Cleo stayed on call, assuring you that it would be alright, even though you knew deep down, it wasn’t. 

“Alright, I’ll go now, it’s quiet,” You sighed, breath shaky with anxiousness. “We’ll talk when you’re back, I’m sorry for taking up your time.” 

“Are you sure?” Cleo questioned with concern, “I can stay on call until we’re back, I don’t mind.” 

“No it’s okay,” you insisted, “Besides, I’m tired, I’ll see about this tomorrow, it’s too much to process right now.” 

“Alright,” Cleo exhaled, “Let me know if you need anything, we’ll be back in a bit.” 

You bid your goodbyes, putting your phone down as you aimed for the door, peaking your head out to check whether the coast was clear. Your shoulders relaxed when Rafe was nowhere in sight, tippy toeing your way back to your room, making sure to be as careful as physically possible. 

Barely escaping the situation, your heart sank to your stomach when you unlatched the doorknob, now greeted with Rafe seated on the edge of your bed, perking up when you made your presence known. 

“What are you doing here?” You mumbled, feeling your throat run dry. 

You wanted the ground to split and swallow you whole, unable to bear the embarrassment of facing Rafe, now a few feet away from you. 

“You know…” He trailed off, getting up with a groan. “I was plannin’ to give you space, talk things out when you’re ready, but…”

Your fingers clutched to the doorknob when Rafe walked in your direction, towering over you and cornering you against the door, as it leisurely closed within each step you took back. 

“God, you’re killing me.” He whispered, gulping as his gaze flickered to your parted lips, coated with a faint layer of spit.

His fingers toyed with the hem of your shirt, hesitating before pressing his hand to your hip, his hold burning holes through your flesh. Your eyes remained on his face, watching as his expression changed into something serious, stirring up your insides with a rush of adrenaline.

You stiffened under the touch, slightly taken aback by the bold move, even as your body leaned into it, chasing after the sensation of his fingers marking your skin. , 

“You know how much you’re affecting me, don’t you?” He hushed out, digits dragging up your side, and tumbling just beneath the material, his touch welcoming the warmness of your skin. “The amount of times I had to control myself, and respect the boundaries I set with Ryan.” 

“Rafe.” Your tone lowered to match his, an inaudible gasp exiting your parted lips when he pinned you to the door, fingers squeezing the plush of your flesh. “What are you doing?” 

Rafe stuck to answering with his actions, bringing his other hand to your face, and taking the curve of your jaw in between his fingers. His thumb pressed to your chin, using it to angle your head up, striving to study your face up close. 

“You’re breathtaking, you know that?” He whispered, smearing your glossed lips with his thumb, the gesture causing you to part your mouth in a sigh. “God, you know how difficult it was? Telling myself you’re off limits; when you’re all I think about, twenty-four, seven; always on mind.” 

“You’re ridiculous.” You exhaled through your mouth, vision going blurry as Rafe leaned his forehead against yours, his hot breath fanning above the bridge of your nose. “We shouldn’t be doing this, Rafe.” 

“I was barely holding myself back,” He muttered, trailing light, open-mouthed kisses to your lips. “It’s your,” a kiss, “fault,” and another, “for tempting,” he paused, “me.”

That was the only sign you needed as you moved forward, letting your guilt wash with new found desire when you captured Rafe’s lips in an eager kiss you’ve both been dying for.

Rafe’s arms sneaked to your sides, locking you in place as he ceased the distance separating you two, though that felt impossible, as he licked and nipped at your lips, suddenly feeling drunk on your sweetness. 

You tasted amazing, way better than what Rafe had imagined, leaving him craving more as he angled your head to the side, with the intent of deepening the kiss. 

In that moment, you didn’t care whether this was a dream, or reality. In fact, you wanted to wake up the next morning with the same giddiness filling your insides, Rafe being the reason behind it. 

You wanted Rafe, the kiss merely proving the yearn tulling your insides, till you no longer were able to bear it. 

Fuck it, you chose to take the risk, let yourself enjoy this while it lasts, knowing that eventually, you’d need to put an end to it; hence Rafe is off limits.

a/n all support is v much appreciated! pulling my hair out i forgot how to write. SORRY ik i didnt do the kiss justice but i just wanted to get the kiss out of the way... dont get bored of me yet i promise theres so much more to squeeze in the next four chapters theyre just entering their situationship era 🙈 ALSO IK I SAID THERE WILL BE TEXTS BUT I LIED next one 100% though!!! anyways yeah i hope you enjoyed, lmk ur thoughts!!!

taglist is currently closed, however, in order to stay tagged, you must interct with the posts!

TAGLIST @greyswaren @slut-4-gojo @depthsofdespairr @littlelamy @lilithblackkk @cnnamongrl @mattyskies @percysley @jaklvbub @inlovewithdob @ilovefiction4lmen @theeternaloptimistt @maybejj @icaqttt @idgasb @purplerose291 @shincidios @laniirackssss @malibuhearts @adulterated-cocaine @bugg06 @murdockcastleslut @drwstarkeys @pretymads @klmaaaoooo @wearemadeofstardust0 @urbrunettebombshell @stylestarkey @riverxsq @louxmcl @totalswag @cl4uus @simpforboys @tearsfromasliverwolf-blog @bilssturns @fandomhopped @strsdoulikedem @congratsloserr @dr3wstarkey @xoxo-ada @stvrligghtt @rafeswhoooreee @kythefangirl25 @chaneydoll @blushmimi @akobx @empath-bunny @flirtism @stopnala @rafecameronswifeyy

[pedge-page]

Joel Dealing with Fam: Pool Days

Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: baby Ellie remembers how to swim.

- - - -

Ellie knows how to swim. She went to all the infant swim lessons and survival trainings just like Sarah did. You have no fear of Ellie's swimming capabilities.

But at some point over the winter, she forgot she knew, and developed a fear of water. The four of you took a trip to the local pool, where Sarah and Joel jumped right in. Even as Sarah was determined to take Joel down with all her might (to absolutely no sucess) Joel still had his arms stretched out ready to catch Ellie to jump in.

Ellie--bless her bitty chubby soul-- had no interest to jump in. She was almost two at this point. Bucket hat and fat floaties on her shoulders, she twirled her fingers anxiously, looking away from daddy with drawn browns.

"Its okay, baby, daddy is gonna catch you!" He encourages, curling his hands towards himself in come hither motion "You don't even have to swim!"

But she shakes her head, running back to you and clutching your legs for dear life.

"That's okay Ellie. We don't have to swim today. Do you wanna sit with me?"

She nods, her head buried between your knees.

So you and Ellie sat on the hot concrete and watches curiously ad ants lined up, grabbed crumbs of discarded food, and filed away to their cracks in the sidewalk. She pointed to them curiously, only occasionally glancing at the pool before shifting away and dedicating all her focus on the very dry ground.

The next day, you sat on the shallow edge of the stairs into the pool. It took some coaxing, but Ellie sat on the dry edge, and only managed to dip her large toes in at a time. Sarah continued to climb atop Joel like a tree, grunting and trying to pull his chest down knock him under water, but he just kept grabbing her and yeeting her 6 feet in the air to splash back into the pool.

Next day, Ellie's ankles kicked in the water, but she was still too afriad to get in any further.

"I dont get it. She knows how to swim," Joel complained. His biggest gripe is why he has to bring all these floaties day after day if neither Sarah nor Ellie were using them. He was also feeling a big dejected. You could tell he wanted Ellie to trust him with this. He was a great dad.

"Its a mental thing..." it really was. You didnt have any other explanation for it. You weren't gonna traumatize her by pushing her in and forcing her to fight or flight.

The four of you got close to the edge. Ellie saw the water and immediately retreated back towards the furthest fence, more content with swimming in the artificial grass.

"I figured she'd want to get in with me," he pouts. Joel saw it all going differently. That Ellie would feel more comfortable being around Joel, even if he carried her all day in the water. He'd swear never to let a drop get on her. But not even her favorite man was enough to sway her.

Joel miller is a great father. A great husband.

You....

You glances at Joel, who's walking closer to the edge of the pool than you.

The thought breezes through your mind, and you come to the conclusion that you are not as great a wife.

using all your strength, you shove him off balance and send him flying into the pool without warning.

He has no chance to get his anchor as he goes crashing into the water, elbow and head first.

On cue, Ellie screams and immediately forced her fat legs to run as fast as they can, straight to the water. Eithout a seconds hesitation that she's had all week, she launches herself at full speed, scrunches her legs in the air and cannon balls into the pool butt first.

You must be a really bad mom too because You didn't expect her to just jump in by herself!!!

But to your immediately relief, she bobs her head up and starts frantically kicking and paddling doggy style to reach Joel.

Joel resurfaces, standing tall as the water was only deep to his waist, and shakes his head annoyingly. He frowns at you before realizing there's a very fast moving worm coming towards him-

"daDDY!" She shouts concerningly. Even though everyone else can clearly tell Joel is in no harm whatsoever, she still pants hard as she pettles her way to him like his life depends on it.

Joel blinks away the chlorine in his eyes, in disbelief at her sudden determination. "ELLIE! You did it!"

He reaches out and grasps her into his arms.

"I save DADDY!" She exclaims.

"Ahh.. I mean you didn't really..."

He glances up at you with eyes that signal to him to shut the fuck up.

"you DID! You saved me from drowning."

"All by myself!" She coos excitedly. "Daddy I swim!"

After that Ellie was completely comfortable in the pool, with Joel remaining a 4 foot radius at all times (knowing he could drown at any moment again).

"I wanna push him in next!" Sarah protested.

Ellie screeches "NO!" And defensively clutched Joel's whole head as she sat atop his shoulders.

- - - -

Taglist

@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrsoharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee @cassiecasluciluce @loohoop @himboelover @callsignwidow @wintersquirrel @fluffygoffpanda @picketniffler @bbyanarchist @jeewrites

[albertasunrise]

Work Wife - Five

Masterlist

Summary: Working as a Secretary at Miller & Sons Construction, you fall hopelessly in love with the eldest son Joel. What you don’t realise is that Joel’s completely in love with you too. What will it take for the two of you to realise whats’s right in front of you?

Pairing: Young Joel Miller x Reader

Warnings: Like AO3, I choose not to give any so the plot isn’t spoiled. This fic is 18+ (So… I decided I couldn’t leave this fic the way I had, before buggering off for a week… finished my book and had some time to kill in the evenings so managed to get this written 🥹… I do wanna give one warning for this particular chapter… If anyone is triggered by anything pregnancy related, read at your own risk. I apologise in advance, this chapter is pretty heavy but it will all come together I promise ♥️)

Series Masterlist - One Two Three Four

“You said yes?” Joel asked, frowning when you nodded in reply.

“Why?”

“Because we’re having a baby Joel!” You growled back

“Do you love him?”

“No, but-”

“So you’ll marry a man you don’t love because he knocked you up but won’t be with me?” He spat “You claim to be in love with me and I told you I’m in love with you but you decided that we’re no good for each other and carried on your casual relationship with Ant. Now you’re pregnant and marrying him?”

“Joel-“

“You never even gave us a chance.” He choked, hurt saturating his tone. “You never gave me a chance to fight for us.”

“We’re not good for each other Joel!” You argued and he let out an exasperated sigh as he ran his hand through his hair for what must have been the hundredth time that evening.

“How do you know?” he growled. “When we’re together, we are amazing! We make each other laugh and smile, and Sarah adores you… I know you love her.”

“It’s not that simple Joel.” You choked “I’m pregnant with another man's child!”

“And I will love it as if it were my own!” He argued, “If you give me a chance I will love you and that baby with every fibre of my being.”

“What about Ant?”

“Does he love you?” Joel asked and you shook your head.

“I don’t think so.”

“So you’re both willing to spend the rest of your lives in a loveless marriage, just because he got you pregnant?” Joel’s statement made you pause.

He was right. It wasn’t fair to either of you. Ant deserved to spend his life with a woman he loved and you deserved to marry the man of your dreams. Yet there was a baby to think about now.

“I’ll need to talk to Ant about this.” You stated plainly and Joel nodded.

“That’s all I ask.”

You both sat in a tense sort of silence for a while. Neither of you knew what to say. Joel watched you as you hugged yourself tighter, resting your chin on your knees.

“Are you happy?” He asked and you looked at him with a quizzical expression “About the baby?”

“I guess.” You replied with a shrug “I’ve always wanted to be a mum but I had hoped I’d be married first. Maybe a little older.” You paused, looking away again and fixing your gaze on something Joel couldn’t see “With the man I love.” You said quietly as silent tears started to slip down your cheeks.

“You were there for me when Sarah was thrust into my life.” He said as he stood up and made his way over to you, sitting down and pulling you into his arms “I will be here for you too! We’ll get through this together.”

“Really?” You asked, looking up at him through your lashes.

“I promise.”

You smiled at him, gave him a slight nod then rested your head on his chest. Soaking in the solid, calming presence of him.

“I’m scared Joel.” You choked, snuggling in closer to him.

“I know sweetheart.” He said softly as he placed a tender kiss on the crown of your head “But everything is gonna be okay.”

…

You didn’t go to the aquarium with Joel, but he wasn’t all that surprised. Come Monday morning you were back at your desk and putting on a brave face. Joel had promised not to mention the baby to anyone for the time being.

“I’m not going to marry Ant.” You informed him over lunch that afternoon.

“No?”

“You were right.” You confessed as you steeped your peppermint teabag in the mug in your hands, dunking the teabag in and out of the boiling water “We don’t love each other and it would be wrong to trap each other in a loveless marriage. Not fair on us or the baby.”

Joel nodded but didn’t say anything.

“He wants to be involved though. We’re going to try and work out a schedule once the baby’s arrived.”

“It’s great that he wants to be involved.” Joel piped up and you nodded and smiled in agreement.

“It’s not the way either of us wanted this to happen but there’s a baby’s coming and we’re going to love them all the same.”

“Of course you will.” Joel beamed, giving you a warm smile.

“There was something I wanted to ask you.” You confessed after a short pause.

“Shoot.”

“I booked an ultrasound. It's in a month and wondered if you would come with me?” You asked shyly, looking up at Joel through your lashes.

“Can’t Ant go?”

“He’ll be back at College by then so won’t be able to get back for it.” You answered nervously “I get it if you don’t want to come but I just thought-“

“Of course, I will come with you.” Joel stopped your rambling, placing a hand on yours “We’re in this together remember?”

“I remember.” You choked and he smiled sweetly at you.

“How far along will you be by then?” He asked and you gave him a sheepish look as you answered.

“Around 13 weeks.”

“So he knocked you up…”

“The night we went for drinks, yeah.” You confessed.

“We were a bit drunk and, apparently, not very careful.”

“Pip-“

“I know what you’re gonna say Joel and you’re right but in my defence… I was cut up over Simon and I was just looking for some meaningless rebound sex.”

“Hey, I’m not exactly one to judge.” Joel chuckled “Didn’t even know I’d gotten Eliza pregnant!”

“Was wrong of her to keep that from you.”

“It was.” He agreed “But she gave me Sarah and I wouldn’t change that for the world.”

“She’s a pretty special girl.”

“That she is.” He agreed with a grin.

“Thank you, Joel.”

“For what?” He asked with a confused smile.

“For everything.” You replied with a shrug “For talking me out of marrying a man I don’t love… for helping me keep my head.”

“You did the same for me.”

“Yeah but… I’ve made a lot of dumb fucking decisions lately. After the breakup with Simon, confessing my feelings to you and finding out you had a baby… I just kinda lost sight of shit for a while.”

“I haven’t exactly made stellar decisions either.”

“Well no but… despite me pushing you away, you’ve stuck by me and I… I’m just really glad you’re in my life.”

“I always will be.” He assured you, leaning forward in his chair “No matter what happens between us. I will always be here.”

You gave him a tearful nod and a small smile. Glad of your tea occupy your shaky hands. Things were scary and uncertain but you felt confident that Joel would stick by you no matter what and that in turn, made you wonder if not being together was the right decision after all.

…

You were just finishing giving Sarah her bottle when Joel emerged with two plates piled high with slices of pepperoni pizza.

“My hero.” You cooed at Sarah and you popped her over your shoulder and rubbed her back to coax out the burp you knew would follow. It had taken a few tries to find the best way to pull them out of her but after trying out many different techniques; back rubbing came out on top.

“How’s the sickness?” He asked as he placed your plate down on the table beside you.

“It’s, basically, completely disappeared.” You replied, “Thought it usually went on longer but I guess it can ease off sooner.”

“Have you spoken to your OB about it?”

Joel asked, trying to hide his concern at the fact your symptoms seemed to have vanished. Your scan was in a few days and you were a mixture of excited and terrified.

“I haven’t. Not had any concerning symptoms so I’m sure everything is okay.”

Joel nodded, giving you a small smile before you returned your attention to Sarah who was kicking and stomping away in her rocker you’d just placed her in.

“I am convinced she’s trying to march somewhere.” You chuckled as you placed her bottle down and picked up a slice of pizza.

“As soon as she’s able to walk we’re going to be in big trouble.’ Joel chuckled, not noticing how you had tensed at the word ‘we’.

You hadn’t spoken about the potential relationship that Joel and laid on the table a month ago. You had decided it was probably best to focus on the baby for the time being and perhaps revisit the conversation once you knew all was well.

Joel had already started to talk about how Sarah would react to a little brother or sister, and it both warmed you and terrified you in equal measure. You were thrilled to know that if you and Joel did decide to pursue a relationship with each other, he was all in with this baby. It also scared you how ready he was to take on another man's child. Would he change his mind further down the line?

He and Ant looked nothing alike which meant that when this baby was born, it wasn't going to look anything like him. Would he decide then that he didn't want to raise a child that wasn't his? You knew these thoughts were unreasonable. Joel was probably more excited about this baby than you were.

But...

That didn't stop the nagging voice in the back of your mind that told you that this man was too good to be true. Despite knowing him for several years and seeing how perfect he truly was, your hormones wanted to scare you… plant doubt in your heart.

"You're thinkin' loudly." Joel chuckled, pulling you from your thoughts.

"Just got a lot on my mind is all." You confessed. It wasn't a complete lie.

You and Ant had been speaking on the phone about him potentially moving in for a few months after the baby was born so that he could help. You knew Joel would hate that idea but you wanted to be fair to Ant. This was his baby just as much as it was yours and if he wanted to be there to help with night feeds and nappy changes then you were willing to let him.

"Wanna share with the class?" He asked and you shrugged in reply "You don't have to tell me." He said then before picking up another slice of pizza "Just know that I am here to listen. Whatever you wanna talk about."

"I know Joel." You replied with a small smile.

Sarah's screeching pulled your and Joel's attention back to her. She was grinning at the two of you and you felt like the girl knew that you loved each other. You pictured her doting over the baby growing inside of you. She'd be coming up to her first birthday by the time your little one was born. It was exciting to think about how they would grow up together. Perhaps Joel would build them a castle in the backyard so they can play and explore and expand their imaginations. When you thought about that future you saw it with Joel by your side. Perhaps a few years down the line, you may have a baby of your own. When Sarah and this little bean were a little older. It was a nice mental picture.

One that the more you thought about it, the more you yearned for it.

Perhaps it was time to revisit that conversation with Joel. He hadn't pushed you for anything. He was patient and supportive but you know it must be killing him, desperate to know how you felt about him. So you decided then and there that after your scan you would have that conversation with him. He deserved to have his mind put at ease. It was the least you could do for him.

...

Joel drove you to your appointment, his old rock playing through the speakers as Austin's streets shot past the window.

"Ant asked if he could move in with me after the baby's born." You piped up, unsure why you were bringing it up now.

"Oh?"

"It will be purely platonic." You assured him "He just wants to be there to help for the first few months. Take some of the load off."

"That seems fair."

"He's the baby's father and I feel like he deserves to be there."

"You're right." Joel's answer surprised you and you looked at him in shock, your mouth flapping as you tried to figure out what to say "If the wind changes your face'll stay like that." Joel chuckled, pulling you from your shocked state.

"You're not angry at the idea?"

"Why would I be?" Joel seemed genuinely confused.

"Just thought... Well, I assumed that you'd hate the idea."

"I get it." Joel replied, "I know if I was in his shoes with Sarah I would have wanted that option."

"So you're okay with it?"

"Do I have any right not to be?" He asked and you shrugged.

"Guess not."

"Look, we haven't made any promises to each other. Sure I hope that further down the line we might talk about us again but I understand that you have bigger things to worry about right now."

"Yeah?" You asked and he nodded.

"I will be waiting for when you're ready Pip." He stated with a smile that made your heart race "No pressure from me."

...

You were nervous as you sat in the waiting room and waited for your name to be called. Joel was a calming presence beside you. His hand holding yours and his arm resting gently against yours acting as an anchor, keeping you rooted in the choppy ocean of your mind. When your name was called you looked up at the nurse and smiled, giving her a shy wave and standing up, Joel's hand staying firmly in yours as you followed her into the examination room.

You were so nervous.

Up until this point, the only evidence you had that you were pregnant was the four pregnancy tests that you had taken. All firmly confirming that you were pregnant. You had felt foolish that you had failed to notice that you had missed a period but you had been so caught up in this whirlwind relationship with Ant that you had thought nothing of it. Now you were living with those consequences.

"So is this dad?" The nurse asked as she prepped the machine, pulling out the equipment she needed to perform the procedure.

"Just a friend." Joel replied, giving your hand a friendly squeeze.

"The father is back at College for his final year so Joel kindly came with me today." You said, "Baby wasn't exactly planned." You confessed sheepishly, pulling a chuckle from the nurse.

"They hardly ever are these days." She stated and that relaxed you. Glad that there was no judgment of your situation.

"Father to an unplanned baby, sitting right here so I can attest to that." Joel chuckled and you smiled brightly at him.

"Right well, the gel might feel a little cold so sorry in advance." She said sweetly "If you could lift your shirt and pull your trousers down a little."

You did as she bid and let out a shaky breath as you waited for her to start the examination. Holding Joel's hand tightly, you looked only at him and not the screen.

There was silence for some time. The probe slid around your pelvis, digging in at points for her, you assumed, to get a better look at your baby. When Joel's expression grew concerned, you looked over at the nurse and noted that her expression wasn't so jovial anymore.

"Are they okay?" You asked as your heart leapt into your throat.

The nurse gave you a tight smile as she said "I just need to fetch a doctor a moment."

"Why do you need a doctor?" You push and she shakes her head.

"I just want to get a second opinion before we confirm anything.

"What the fucks going on?" Joel growled and you squeezed his hand tighter, rolling your head and locking his eyes with your tearful ones.

"Just a moment." The nurse repeated as she got up from her seat and walked from the room.

It felt like an eternity before she returned with a female doctor in tow.

"I'm Doctor Sims." She said sweetly "Nurse Roberts has asked me to take a look at baby if thats okay?"

You nodded then watched as she took up the nurse's seat and resumed the examination. Hers taking a lot less time than the first. You could see it in her eyes.

It wasn't good news.

"I am so sorry to inform you that there is no heartbeat." The doctor confirmed and your heart shattered "From these scans, it appears that they stopped developing after around 8 or 9 weeks."

Around the time your morning sickness disappeared.

"We call this a silent miscarriage." The doctor continued "It's when the embryo or fetus dies but the body doesn't expel them."

A tight silence fell over the room for a while whilst you processed what the doctor was telling you. Your baby was dead.

The life you were growing that you had just started to get your head around was no longer thriving in your womb. The life you had imagined with Joel and Sarah had disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"What happens now?" Joel asked, knowing you wouldn't have the strength to ask.

"We need to give you a pill to expel the embryo." The doctor answered, trying to keep things brief upon seeing how you were silently falling apart on the examination table "To ensure we don't risk infection, we need to do this as soon as possible.

Joel nodded, squeezing your hand and dragging your gaze away from the lifeless shape on the screen.

"Pip?" He said softly and finally, you looked at him, your body numb.

"Do whatever you need to do." You said, your eyes empty of the sparkle that had been there when you first entered this room.

.

Joel pulled a blanket over your sleeping form and placed a soft kiss on your temple. After giving your permission to tell his mum what had happened, the woman offered to stay with Sarah so that he could take care of you. You stirred a little as he perched on the edge of your couch and rubbed your back affectionately.

"Will you tell him?" You asked.

"Tell who?"

"Will you tell Ant for me?" You clarified and Joel nodded in understanding.

"Anything you need." He replied as he leaned down to kiss you again.

He watched as you dosed off again. Placing his hand on your arm and giving it a few affectionate strokes with his thumb before standing and making his way to the kitchen.

Ant's number was stuck above your phone so Joel dialled it and waited for the man to answer, his stomach in knots. He didn't want to do this but he knew he needed to for you. He would tear himself apart if it made you feel even the slightest bit better at this moment in time.

"Hello?" Ant's familiar Texan drawl floated into his ear.

"Ant it's uh... It's Joel." He replied, trying to keep his voice steady.

"Hi man, what's up?" He asked, saying your name followed by "Is she okay?"

"No... she's uh... No, she's not." Joel confessed as he rested his brow against the wall beside the phone.

"What happened?" Ant's tone was definitely panicked and Joel felt sick at what he had to say next. What he had to tell this man who until this morning, he kinda hated.

"We went to the scan this morning and... Shit I'm so sorry to tell you this man but there was no heartbeat." Joel choked on those last few words.

"What?"

"Doc said the baby stopped developing." Joel explained, his voice now shaking as he told this man about how his baby was gone "They had to give her a pill to expel it so she's bleeding a lot right now."

"Is she going to be okay?"

"She'll be fine." Joel confirmed, hoping to put the man's mind at ease a little "Apparently it's common before 12 weeks." he didn't know if that brought Ant any comfort. It certainly hadn't brought you any.

"So I'm not going to be a dad?" Joel knew it was rhetorical.

"I'm so sorry man." He hoped his sincerity came across, but he was. His heart was breaking for them both.

"So am I." Ant replied, sniffing wetly before saying "Thanks for letting me know man..."

"Of course."

"Take care of her."

"Always."

Ant hung up after that. Placing the phone on its cradle he crept into the lounge and noted that you had fallen asleep again. Your cheeks and nose were raw from crying and your hair a mess as you'd tore at it earlier. All the emotions you'd not had a chance to feel coming down crashing all at once.

He wasn't sure how things were going to be. Whether you would want him or Sarah around after this. His baby would serve as a reminder of what you had lost. He wouldn't blame you if you pushed him away.

But he wasn't going to let you grieve alone.

You were in this together no matter what the outcome. He was going to get you out the other side no matter what the cost.

Next

For updates follow @albertasunrise-ficsblog

[gimmenctar]

quicklearner

MENORES NÃO INTERAJAM!

haechan x leitora professora e aluno, todos são maiores de idade (só p deixar claro), meio slowburn(?), sexo sem proteção, cream pie, sempre dirty talk, tinha mais uma cena em mente, mas cortei pq achei q já tava na hora. espero que gostem!

Se te perguntassem sobre Donghyuck Lee, você torceria o nariz e reviraria os olhos. O próprio também esboçaria uma reação parecida, talvez até mais debochada. Não se suportam desde o primeiro momento em que ele pisou na sua sala de aula. Veja bem, você é uma professora rígida, sempre exige máximo respeito, mesmo que seja “apenas um cursinho de Inglês”, nas palavras de Haechan. 

Se entrar em sala, tem que cumprimentar a autoridade com um boa noite, mesmo à contra gosto. Isso é o mínimo de respeito, é educação básica. Justo no primeiro dia, ele fez questão de te ignorar e de soltar um risinho debochado quando você o alfinetou por não ter sido educado. Ele odiou. Pediu desculpas carregadas de ironia e prometeu a si mesmo que faria sua vida um pouco mais difícil.

Donghyuck se acha importante demais, é claro para você. Aula após aula ele tenta quebrar sua postura, seja fazendo perguntas muito pessoais no meio da explicação para te desconcertar, ou discordando de uma opinião sua só para causar algum tipo de comoção, ou reclamando dos tópicos entediantes da lição para te irritar. Entretanto, quem vai embora frustrado é ele. Você é uma ótima atriz e finge adorar toda e qualquer interação que têm durante as quase uma hora e meia de aula, fazendo os outros alunos, principalmente os mais velhos, adultos cansados do trabalho, rirem da situação. Haechan parece ser o único que te odeia.

No entanto, conforme o tempo vai passando, mesmo que ele não queira admitir, Lee passa a gostar de você. Não, a admirar você. (In)felizmente, é muito boa no que faz. Ele assimila rápido às suas explicações, a sua dinâmica funciona, é eficiente. As notas nunca foram tão altas, apesar de não se esforçar tanto para realizar as tarefas ou as provas. A fluência nunca pareceu tão perto, graças às suas aulas. 

Mas também tem algo em você que desperta uma curiosidade genuína nele, por isso ele continua a implicar contigo com as perguntas sobre sua vida fora da sala de aula. Ele adora saber pequenas anedotas das outras milhões de coisas que você curte fazer, seus interesses, seus amigos, seus dates. 

“Teacher, can I ask you something?” Haechan te interrompe pela quarta ou quinta vez, mas agora ele é muito mais doce do que antes. Se fosse há uns meses atrás, perguntaria o quisesse na lata, apenas pelo prazer de te aborrecer.                   

“For God’s sake… does it have anything to do with the class?” Sarah, uma classmate, a única outra aluna no início dos vinte, rebate em sua defesa. Uma chata, sempre roubando sua atenção. Outro dia, você foi ensinar a expressão teacher’s pet e a turma toda anotou no caderno com o nome dela ao lado. 

Ele a ignora completamente, mesmo quando você sorri na direção da jovem. “What’s your ideal type, teacher?” Indaga, frisando o vocativo para alfinetar Sarah. Ele não havia falado com ela, sim contigo. 

“My ideal type?” Você parece ponderar, mas já sabe a resposta. 

Se fosse em qualquer outra turma, responderia sem medo. Porém, como explicar que ‘sunkissed, dark hair’ não é uma descrição muito específica dele? “I don’t have a type, actually.” Escolhe não se expor.

Assim, você volta o foco para os alunos novamente, deixando Haechan com um bico no canto da sala. Sua sorte é que ele não está num dia muito criativo, então não consegue retornar ao assunto sem soar muito interessado. 

Talvez ele esteja mesmo interessado. Mesmo ainda agindo feito um pé no saco às vezes e sendo um chatinho que faz você ir embora para casa com a bateria social inexistente de propósito, Lee reparou que agora não faz mais por implicância, e sim por querer sua atenção. 

Ele passa a chegar mais cedo mais vezes para ter a oportunidade de te ver sair da aula anterior, rodeada de adolescentes que te idolatram, só para ter assunto quando a própria classe começasse uns vinte minutos depois. As expressões sem pé nem cabeça que estão no livro? Não se recorda de tê-las criticado, usando-as em todas as respostas e discussões. Enquanto você explica subjunctive, reported speech, ou qualquer outra coisa com seu jeito alegre e expressivo, ele sorri, completamente cativado. 

Certo dia, você entra na sala usando roupas diferentes do comum. Um vestido tubinho curto abraça as suas curvas e o saltinho te dá uma postura confiante. Isso sem falar no cabelo, um total espetáculo acentuando os traços delicados do seu rosto, pintados de uma maquiagem discreta. Uau.

“Que isso, hein, teacher.” Sarah, a puxa-saco, acorda Hyuck de seus pensamentos. “Quem é o sortudo? Lucky one, não, lucky guy.” 

“Thanks, baby.” Você responde, animadinha. “É um boyzinho, amigo de um amigo. A gente se conheceu outro dia e aí ele me chamou pra sair, enfim…” 

Baixinho, enquanto os outros não chegam, você narra a história de como conheceu o tal cara. Haechan sente um mal estar na barriga, o sangue esquenta e ele sai da sala para beber uma água. Não pode ser, não pode estar com ciúmes da própria professora. 

É claro que pode. Olha essa mulher, ele pensa durante a aula, ainda lutando contra as próprias emoções. Ainda assim, não está sendo um bom aluno hoje porque está distraído reparando em você. As pernas torneadas, a cinturinha, o jeito que você fala… até mesmo o cheiro do seu perfume estava gerando algo nele. 

Quando a aula acabou, Lee saiu disparado depois de se despedir brevemente, puto dentro das calças. Caminha tão rápido até o portão do curso que quase não repara na presença de Xiaojun, um amigo de seu primo Hendery. O outro é quem o chama para cumprimentá-lo. 

“Coé, irmão. Tá vacilando? Nem fala mais?” Xiaojun brinca, batendo a mão e um dos ombros em Haechan. 

“Ih, qual foi, Dejun. Tá fazendo o quê aqui, cara?” 

Hyuck escaneia a aparência do parceiro, notando que ele está arrumadinho demais para ser uma coincidência qualquer. 

“Pô,” O mais velho olha para dentro da escola à procura de algo, ou alguém. Então se aproxima do moreno e envolve um de seus ombros para contar sobre sua aparição repentina. “Tá ligado o Yangyang?” Lee afirma com a cabeça. “Então, ele tem um amigo, o Renjun. Sabe quem é?” 

Que enrolação da porra, claro que ele sabe quem é, só vivem juntos.

“Sei.” 

“Aí a prima do Renjun levou uma amiga, porra, uma gata, naquele churrasco de aniversário do Chenle.” 

Não tinha ido ao tal evento porque teve de resolver uma pendência com uma garota, uma ficante. Longa história, complicada. Fica para depois. 

“E daí?” Ele já estava sem paciência, e Xiaojun demora uma vida para se explicar. 

“E daí que eu dei um papo nessa mina e vou levar ela pra jantar hoje.”

Ca-ra-lho. Na mesma hora em que a mente de Haechan liga os pontos, você se aproxima timidamente. Dejun larga o amigo com pressa e passa um dos braços pelo seu quadril, dando dois beijinhos nas suas bochechas logo depois. 

Alguém devia tirar uma foto da expressão horrorizada de Lee. O tal carinha que vai te levar para um encontro é o próprio parceiro, Xiao Dejun? De primeira, a raiva dele inflama, o peito queima de inveja outra vez. Mas, pensando bem… Não querendo subestimar o amigo… só que claramente não combinam nada um com o outro. 

“Vocês se conhecem?” Sua voz envergonhada questiona, então o seu date percebe que Hyuck lhe é familiar. 

“Ele é meu amigo.” Haechan diz, te olhando fixamente. A mirada te prende porque é desconhecida, algo está diferente nele, porém não sabe dizer o que é. 

Ele sabe muito bem. É a porra do ciúme. 

“Eu sou professora dele.” Você fala, quase como se fosse uma pergunta, observando o seu acompanhante para ver se ele teria alguma reação negativa. 

Ele ri alto. A ideia de pegar a professora do amigo é hilária. Com todo respeito a você, é claro. Donghyuck visivelmente pensa o oposto, a carranca que toma conta do rosto bonito expressa bem o que ele está pensando agora. Não querendo ser um completo babaca, mas já sendo, ele planeja acabar com esse risinho logo, logo. Não pode ser chamado de talarico ou fura olho se foi ele quem te conheceu e quem te quis primeiro. Certo? Na verdade, para ele, foda-se, te roubaria para si do mesmo jeito. 

“Nem fodendo!” Renjun exclama, rindo sem acreditar no que acabara de ouvir. O mundo é muito pequeno mesmo. 

No aniversário de Yangyang estão todos reunidos novamente, e Xiaojun aproveitou para se gabar de ter saído com a professora de Haechan, cuja feição transborda descontentamento. Se ele fosse um cara qualquer que não respeitasse a família dos outros, já teria metido um soco na cara de um hoje. 

“E vocês saíram de novo?” Yangyang pergunta com curiosidade antes de levar a long neck aos lábios e saborear o amargo da loira gelada. 

Haechan anseia a resposta. Seus olhos se apertam, assim como os dedos ao redor da própria cerveja. 

“Não.” Xiaojun confessou, visivelmente decepcionado. “A gente se pegou no carro depois, mas acho que ela não tava na vibe. Deixei ela em casa e depois não nos falamos direito.” 

Ao mesmo tempo que um alívio lava o peito angustiado do moreno, um pedaço dele quer gritar de raiva ao pensar que Xiaojun beijou você, te tocou, e sabe-se lá mais o que ele quis dizer com se pegar. 

“E valeu a pena?” O outro indaga com malícia. 

Infelizmente o sorriso de Liu alarga ao ver que o amigo estava com as bochechas corando, ele tenta esconder a resposta óbvia com um morder de lábios. Renjun cutuca Haechan enquanto um coro de ãhnnnnn preenche a sala de estar. Se Lee revirasse os olhos com um cadinho mais de força talvez eles saíssem de órbita. Que situação. 

“Como é ter uma professora gostosa, Hyuck?” Hendery retoricamente lança o questionamento no meio dos amigos sem sequer interromper os dedos caóticos no console. 

“Respeita ela, porra!” 

Eles cessam a risada ao ouvi-lo exclamar pela primeira vez desde o início da conversa. “Ih, qual foi, relaxa.” Dejun responde, sua expressão metade severa e metade suspeita. “Não era ela que você não suportava?”

Haechan lembra-se vagamente de algumas vezes que chegou a reclamar no grupo de amigos durante as aulas. Ele fingia mexer no celular só para te incomodar, porém, a própria frustração o vencia por vezes e ele acabou enviando algumas mensagens para desabafar a insatisfação. 

“Vamo mudar de assunto.” Começa Renjun, limpando a garganta para quebrar o silêncio da falta de resposta de Lee. “Quem vai na roda?” 

A roda de samba mais esperada do mês se aproxima, Santa Teresa nunca fica sem receber os amigos por muito tempo, é quase tradição. O próximo Sábado promete.

Enquanto você se arrumava, Xiaojun te esperou no sofá da sua sala mexendo no celular. Ainda nem acredita que voltaram a conversar no meio da semana, muito menos no fato de que ele te convidou para sair de novo. Achou que o tivesse espantado no primeiro encontro.

A verdade é que ele é um doce, praticamente um príncipe, mas seu cansaço no dia te desanimou e, sem jeito, não conseguiu dizer o que significava sua carinha fechada. Por sorte, Dejun não levou para o coração e nem desistiu. 

Quando o convite brilhou na notificação do celular, seu primeiro pensamento foi ‘roda de samba? nada a ver comigo’, entretanto, o papo dele é tão bom que te convenceu e ‘o que custa dar uma chance?’. Comparado a ficar em casa, seria muito melhor estar na companhia dele. O que você não esperava, porém, era que todos os amigos dele fossem, incluindo Haechan. Este fuzilava vocês dois sem disfarce algum, o que incomodou sua companhia levemente. 

“Tá tudo bem por você ele estar aqui?” Xiaojun indaga ao seu ouvido. Além de querer ser discreto, ele aproveitou para jogar um charme e trocar um carinho. O afago desde o seu ombro até os dedos da sua mão não lhe passa despercebido, é muito bem-vindo e te alivia a tensão. “Tem certeza?” Seu aceno de cabeça não o havia convencido. “Se quiser, a gente pode fazer qualquer outra parada. Só quero ficar contigo. T-tipo, passar tempo ju-juntos.” 

Você se permite sorrir, ele é fofo. “Tá tudo bem, juro.” Pousa os lábios no canto dos dele bem delicadamente, se demorando uns instantes. Dejun vira o rosto e rouba um selinho vagaroso, checando sua reação quase sem tomar distância, não queria fazer nada forçado. O risinho que molda seus lábios lavam o peito dele em alívio. 

Ele sorri na sua boca junto contigo, retomando o beijo com mais intenção desta vez. É delicado, mas firme ao mesmo tempo. Suas línguas tocam num ritmo deliciosamente lento. Parece que encontraram o encaixe perfeito, é mais intenso do que a primeira vez. Você permite que as mãos dele apertem sua cintura e acariciem onde querem, esquecendo um pouco a timidez. 

Donghyuck ainda observa a cena. A raiva que borbulha em seu interior faz sua mente criar mil cenários onde ele acaba com a ousadia do próprio amigo. Na verdade, se ele estivesse um pouco mais alto, talvez já tivesse feito merda. 

Yangyang é o primeiro a perceber a situação. A verdade é que ia avisar ao Lee que a caótica ex-ficante havia acabado de chegar, mas encontrou o moreno estático e de cara amarrada. O copo plástico quase transbordando de cerveja não duraria muito tempo se ele continuasse apertando daquela forma. É receita para dar merda. Liu sabe que precisaria escolher qual caos enfrentar e, entre uma briga por causa de talaricagem e uma possível recaída com um rolo tóxico, é melhor a segunda opção. Ou…? 

“Irmão, a Karina tá aqui.” Ele anuncia quase gritando por cima do som alto depois de se aproximar de Haechan. O outro nem se move, concentrado em amaldiçoar Xiaojun pela cara de pau de pegar na sua bunda no meio de tanta gente. 

Era ele que devia estar te tocando. Hã? 

Haechan finalmente percebe que tem companhia e leva um pequeno susto. Yangyang está impaciente e ameaçando derramar bebida em seu cabelo. “Porra! Assombração!” 

“Caralho, tô falando contigo tem uns cinco minutos.” 

“O que é, caralho?” 

“Pela décima vez: a Karina. Está. Aqui.”

A confusão estampada nas feições de Lee irritam o outro profundamente. “Foda-se.”

Se fossem outras circunstâncias — se ele estivesse sóbrio — Donhyuck teria metido o pé ou no mínimo tentado se esconder. Droga de cerveja. Merda de amigo que está quase comendo minha professora gostosa que eu quero comer.  

“É O QUÊ?” Renjun, que acabara de se juntar aos dois perto do open bar, só pode ter ouvido errado. “Você quer o quê e quem?” Não, não, não. Ele não pode ter dito isso alto na frente dos dois caras mais bocudos que conhece. Mas disse. Yangyang balança a cabeça em decepção, porém a surpresa era zero. Renjun pede três shots de vodka ao barman porque só assim.

“Ele quer a amiga da sua prima. Ha-ha.” Liu até tenta amenizar a situação e fazer piada, o que obviamente não funciona. 

Renjun distribui os outros dois shots depois que pega um para si mesmo. “Virem essa porra.” Mesmo relutantes, os três entornam o líquido e fazem cara feia pelo gosto forte e a queimação que nunca fica comum. “Agora vamo colocar os pingos nos is. Você quer a sua professora, a mulher que o teu amigo tá pegando.” 

“São muitas camadas.” 

“Porra, vocês só me criticam!” Hyuck cessa o debate. “Nem era pra eu ter falado isso alto. Foda-se vocês dois, foda-se todo mundo.” Ele toma outro gole da cerveja para sair dali, porém antes que pudesse, você e Xiaojun encontraram o grupo novamente. 

“Rapaziada, já avisei ao Dery e ao Lele, tô metendo o pé.” Ele comunica, porém Haechan só é capaz de focar nos seus dedos entrelaçados. Seus cabelos bagunçados e a roupa amarrotada de Dejun também capturam a atenção dele.

“Já vão pra casa?” O ciúmes fala por ele. 

“É, a gente tá afim de ficar mais tranquilo.” Ele diz, olhando para você ao abrir um sorriso sacana. 

O trio se encara num silêncio constrangedor. O moreno não disfarça a insatisfação: a ironia que escorre por seu suspiro de escárnio faz Xiaojun franzir o cenho. “Algum problema?” 

“Jamais.” Renjun intervém, mas fica sem ideia, implorando pela ajuda de Yangyang com o olhar. 

“Pô, então bom restinho de sábado aí pra vocês.” Liu aperta a mão livre do amigo. “Juízo, hein?” Força uma risada de tiozão, acabando por piorar a situação. Você e Dejun se entreolham e espremem os lábios para não rirem também, apesar do leve constrangimento.

Como se o universo judiasse de Yangyang, seu pior medo tomou forma, nome e sobrenome e, infelizmente, está bem perto. Karina deu as caras. Não, ela chegou chegando. Apoiou o braço no ombro de Renjun, que estava na ponta, e lançou um sorriso charmoso para o “ex”, Haechan.

“Não fala mais comigo?”

“Oi.” 

Seria cômico se não fosse uma tragédia prestes a se desenrolar sob os olhos de várias testemunhas. Das duas uma: ou eles ficariam de novo, ou arrumariam mais um barraco catastrófico. Sempre a mesma história.

“Boa noite, Karina. Tudo bem?” Renjun debocha da falta de educação da garota, balançando o tronco para fazer o braço alheio cair. Ela apenas revira os olhos.

“Quem é essa?” Você discretamente pergunta ao seu date. Por causa da música alta, o volume não lhe deu a oportunidade de efetivamente esconder a curiosidade, todos os outros ouviram.

“Namorada do Hyuck, prazer.” Karina estende a mão para você numa simpatia que só, ao passo que você a cumprimenta com um sorriso doce. Ao mesmo tempo, o namorado engasga com a própria bebida enquanto a dupla fofoqueira ri alto de nervoso. 

“Essa garota é maluca. A gente não tem nada.” Donghyuck gira o dedo indicador perto da têmpora para frisar a loucura de Karina. Ele espera muito que você não esteja acreditando em nada do que ela fala.

“Ele é muito bem humorado.” Explica com tom de voz suave, mas seu olhar é severo. Definitivamente faz o tipo perigoso.

Xiaojun prevê a merda que isso vai dar e se apressa, dando um aperto leve nos seus dedos. “Bom, é triste a dor do parto, mas eu tenho que partir. Boa sorte aí, guerreiros.” Ele acena para os que ficam. 

Viram as costas e partem para a saída, com Huang e Yangyang acompanhando-os com o olhar até não conseguirem mais distingui-los na multidão. Ao voltarem-se para o bar, porém, prendem o fôlego ao encontrar o banco de Haechan vazio e nem sinal de Karina. 

“Ah não.” 

“Puta que pariu.” 

Definitivamente Murphy estava certo quando disse que se existe possibilidade de alguma coisa dar errado, dará errado. O problema agora não é mais deles.

Xiaojun é o tipo de cara que leva intimidade à sério. Mesmo que fosse um lance casual, ele te tratou como uma princesa antes, durante e depois da transa — e como ele fode bem. Tem pulso firme, mas também soube a hora de se comunicar e perguntar como você gostava e se queria continuar. 

Então, por qual razão você não parava de pensar em Donghyuck e Karina? Será que ele também havia se sentido assim ao ver que você estava indo para a casa de outro? Será que ele havia a beijado ou a levado embora também? Só de pensar te sobe um calafrio desagradável. Não, isso não pode ser…

Ciúmes? Pois é. Não é nada prazeroso admitir para si mesma que está de conchinha com um cara enquanto pensa em outro e, pior ainda, sendo um de seus alunos. Mesmo tentando evitar, o restinho do seu final de semana foi bem assim: Haechan rondando sua mente mais do que o aceitável.

Na segunda-feira, ele não foi ao curso. É difícil definir se você sentiu falta dele ou alívio de não ter de encará-lo depois dos últimos eventos. Não que se devessem satisfação, porém sabem segredinhos um do outro agora e talvez fosse muito estranho lidar com isso. 

Quando ele apareceu na aula seguinte, algo estava mudado. Você mal foi capaz de lançar olhares em sua direção, deixando que o grupo criasse oportunidades para que o estudante normalmente polêmico participasse da conversa. Seus pensamentos estavam lotados de negação de ciúmes ainda. 

Na maior parte do tempo, entretanto, Donghyuck ficou quieto. Engajou a conversa dos classmates poucas vezes sem sequer interagir brevemente com a professora. O problema era você, definitivamente, você pensou. 

Na verdade, o problema não era você, e sim o fato de que ele está te perdendo para o próprio amigo. À medida que você e Xiaojun se aproximam, mais Haechan te deseja. Ele sabe que está correndo o risco de ser um grandessíssimo filho da puta, mas é impossível evitar a atração.

Ao final do tempo de aula, os outros alunos se despediram ao se retirarem da sala enquanto organizava seus materiais e apagava o quadro. Achou que todos já haviam partido e começou a cantarolar uma música qualquer para acalmar os nervos. Ao girar o corpo para recolher seus pertences, encontrou o motivo do seu estresse bem ali, com os olhos grudados em você. 

“Que susto, Hyuck!” 

Ele sorri de canto porque notou que você o tem chamado pelo apelido mais vezes recentemente. 

“Você…” Limpa a garganta para soar mais firme. “Você tem alguma dúvida?” 

“Tenho.” 

O homem nem se mexe. O silêncio que os abraça pesa por uns instantes enquanto se encaram, ele está te deixando nervosa com esse olhar tão… penetrante. 

“É em relação a aula que você não veio? A gente pode marcar uma aula de apo-.” Para de falar ao ver que ele se levanta e vagarosamente caminha na sua direção. Haechan sabe que não é só ele que fica descompassado ao estarem juntos. 

“Como foi com o Xiaojun?”

Por um momento achou que tinha escutado errado. Processou as palavras e escolheu não acreditar no que ouviu. 

“É o quê?” 

“Como foi com o Xiaojun?” Ele repete. “Vocês foram pra casa dele mesmo?” Ele levanta uma das sobrancelhas e espera a resposta com as mãos nos bolsos. 

A vontade que te deu foi de apontar a grande pachorra que ele teve de perguntar algo tão íntimo e armar um barraco. Tudo tem limites. Sabendo como irritá-lo, porém, apenas devolve na mesma moeda. 

“Como foi com a Karina, sua namoradinha?” Questiona cheia de deboche, comemorando internamente ao reparar que a pergunta o atinge bem onde planejou. 

Ele joga a cabeça para trás e solta um suspiro de falso escárnio, passando os dedos pelos cabelos desgrenhados. Pareciam duas crianças tentando discutir.

“Sabe qual a diferença entre a gente?” Haechan se aproxima um pouco mais, quase tocando seus corpos. “Eu não tenho nada com a Karina, já você e o Dejun…” 

Chega a ser engraçado como as farpas apenas expõem o que realmente querem um do outro, e ainda assim, nem um dos dois compreende o que está acontecendo. Admitir sentimentos é coisa de adulto, alguém avisa?

“Por que isso te incomoda?” Cruza os braços sobre o peito. “O que você tem a ver com isso?” 

O risinho travesso tão familiar teria te irritado mais se ele não tivesse, finalmente, acabado com qualquer distância entre os dois. 

“Você realmente não sabe?” Ele acaricia a ponta do seu nariz com o próprio, você mal consegue respirar. 

Suas pálpebras se fecham, e Hyuck adora te ver assim: tão aberta às suas investidas, como ele sempre imagina. Ele toma coragem para te beijar, então, cerrando os próprios olhos e deixando um selinho molhado nos seus lábios. 

“Ôh, professora, já vai sair?” A voz estridente da moça da limpeza faz com que vocês se separem num estalar de dedos. 

“Vou sim, Eunice.”

Não fosse o som da vassoura já batendo com pressa no chão, os batimentos cardíacos dos dois poderiam ser ouvidos. Os olhos dele estão arregalados, e você ri por quase terem sido pegos. O nó angustiado na garganta do moreno se desfaz em uma risada fraca. Que situação. 

Para não arriscar ainda mais sua pele, Haechan vai embora sem terminar o que começou. Pela primeira vez, no entanto, não vai para casa frustrado, e sim confiante de que suas intenções estão claras agora. 

Cerveja e vinho, pagodinho ambiente, um jogo de tabuleiro jogado mil vezes — agora esquecido no canto da sala de estar do apartamento de Xiaojun — e um lanche tão grande que o motoboy precisou de ajuda para carregar tudo. A noite de sexta do famoso grupinho, que já está acostumado com a mais nova integrante, é o puro suco da zona norte do Rio de Janeiro — Rildy para os íntimos. 

A diferença deste rolé para a roda de samba no sábado passado é apenas o ambiente, a cara emburrada de Donghyuck se repete. Não só não conseguiu trocar uma palavra contigo hoje, mas também está, novamente, sendo obrigado a assistir os beijos que o amigo te dá. Palhaçada, não desgruda um segundo da boca da menina. 

Não que ele não estaria fazendo o mesmo no lugar de Xiaojun.

Além do mais, a dupla inseparável maluco e doido não param de falar um segundo sequer sobre a vida dos outros, gente que ninguém mais conhece. Hyuck poderia até ser educado igual a Hendery, que sem nenhuma outra alternativa a não ser assistir a pegação alheia, escolheu prestar atenção nas atualizações de Yangyang e Renjun, mas aí não seria ele. 

“Caralho que chatice, hein. Se a prima engravidou da porra do primo, o que vocês tem a ver com isso?” Haechan dá uma golada na long neck — sua quinta já. Nem são onze da noite e o cara já beirou seu limite alcoólico. 

“Ih alá, Yang. Vai deixar?” Hendery acha graça e aproveita a oportunidade para botar um pouco de pilha. Um pouco de ação não mataria ninguém. Pensar desse jeito já rendeu várias discussões sérias, ele não aprende. 

“Começa não, Dery.” Hyuck alfineta. 

“A culpa não é minha que você tá puto.” Yangyang sussurra e aperta os olhos na direção dos dois isolados perto da cozinha. 

“Ainda nessa história? Explica direito.” A curiosidade de Kunhang aguça. 

“Não quero falar sobre isso.” Renjun suspira em pura frustração, apertando os olhos com as próprias mãos. “Ele tá puto porque o Xiaojun tá pegando a professora dele.” 

“Quem dera fosse simples assim. Ele também quer a professora dele.” Liu explica, repreendendo Haechan com um balançar exagerado de cabeça. 

“Ei!” 

“Desculpa, ele quer a amiga da prima do Renjun.” Se corrige após ser repreendido pelo amigo. “Entende a gravidade da situação?” 

“Tá, calma.” Hendery pensa uns segundos. “Há quanto tempo você quer ela?” 

Finalmente alguém disposto a ouvi-lo. 

“Porra, tem MESES.” 

“Mentira! Você vivia reclamando que ela era chata.” Renjun briga, irritado. Seu sussurro gritado chega a ser cômico. 

“Já ouviu falar em tensão sexual?” 

“Então o talarico foi o Dejun? Caralho, que vacilo.” Hendery conclui, beliscando a batata frita fria em cima da mesa de centro. 

“OBRIGADO, porra!” 

Renjun e Yangyang estão desacreditados, como alguém apoia essas coisas? É bater palma para maluco dançar. 

“Ele não sabia!” Yangyang o defende. 

“Do que vocês estão falando?” O próprio assunto pergunta, trazendo você também para a rodinha. 

“De futebol. Eurocopa e tals.” Renjun mente, sendo reafirmado pelos acenos de cabeças dos outros. 

A mentira era óbvia, mas os outros decidiram deixar passar (questionar daria muito trabalho). Logo arrumam outro assunto e a apreensão no ar começa a se dissipar. Não para você e Donghyuck, é claro. 

Desde o selinho que quase foi flagrado, você passou os últimos três dias pensando no que fazer sobre isso. A verdade é que já está completamente perdida na atração para dar para trás; ao mesmo tempo existe, porém, algo que ainda te freia a tomar uma atitude. Seria esse freio o anfitrião? Ou ainda o fato de que ele é seu aluno? Os dois? Não dá para saber, ainda mais com o jeito que ele te olha — é desconcertante.

Hyuck faz zero questão de disfarçar seu interesse, mesmo Xiaojun notou que estão trocando olhares. Ninguém diz nada por respeito ao amigo, mas eles já sabem aonde isso vai dar: Haechan Lee nunca desiste do que quer. 

Dejun escolhe ignorar os sinais, pelo menos por esta noite. Cerveja é pra isso, ele pensa. Eu não preciso pensar nisso agora, uma vozinha tenta o convencer. À medida que ele os amigos foram bebendo, menos ele se incomodou com as palavras não ditas entre você e Donghyuck, e ainda conseguiu se divertir um pouco. 

Ao passar das duas, o álcool já havia vencido os meninos há tempos. Você, sem beber, fez bons registros das pérolas sem pé nem cabeça que eles talvez se esquecessem pela manhã. O problema é que teve de cuidar deles sozinha. 

Yangyang e Renjun já estavam dormindo no sofá e os outros bateram cabeça nas cartas várias vezes, sinal claro que já passou da hora de encerrar as atividades, mas não davam o braço a torcer. 

“Quem perder a próxima rodada vai pagar o uber.” Hendery desafiou, mas nenhum deles tinha disposição para terminar a partida de buraco. 

“Quem chegar no térreo por último vai pagar o uber.” Hyuck retruca, sorrindo orgulhoso do próprio desafio. 

“Eu tô de carro, levo vocês.” Lança a proposta na esperança de que eles aceitem logo. O cansaço já pesa o seu corpo. 

“Tem certeza? Não vai te dar trabalho?” Xiaojun pergunta. 

Cala a boca, Hyuck pensa. Ele já está mais desperto e calculando todos os jeitos de ficar sozinho contigo. Mesmo altinho, sabe bem o que está fazendo. 

“Tenho, eles moram perto de mim. Não é trabalho nenhum.” Reafirma, já recolhendo suas coisas e colocando-as dentro da bolsa novamente, aproveitando para pegar as chaves do carro. 

“Então acorda esses folgados aí, Dery.” 

Kunhang se alonga dramaticamente como se estivesse numa preparação séria. Levanta-se com cautela e, sem coordenação alguma, pula e se joga em cima da dupla dorminhoca, que acorda no susto. 

“Já são sete da manhã, lindinhos. Vamos embora?” 

“QUE HORAS?” Renjun berra no ouvido de Liu, ajudando no processo de tirá-lo do sono. 

“O que tá acontecendo?” A voz preguiçosa do outro mal é ouvida pelos amigos, mas assim que ele repara que está sendo encoxado pelos Huangs, não se contém. “SAI, PORRA! Nem pagam uma janta antes.” 

“Se o síndico me mandar mensagem essa hora da madrugada eu juro que…” 

“Então não são sete da manhã?” Renjun se espreguiça, bufando ao notar o céu ainda escuro. “Como a gente vai embora?” 

“Ela vai dar uma carona pra gente.” Hyuck diz, e seu sorriso não agrada nada ao amigo. 

Ignorando o olhar desconfiado de Huang para Lee, você balança as chaves nas mãos. “Vamos?” 

Dejun desceu com vocês até o carro, deixando um beijo breve nos seus lábios como despedida. Haechan revira os olhos e gira nos calcanhares, indo até a porta do passageiro marcar seu lugar. Sem opção de escolha, os outros três se sentam no banco de trás. 

“Vamos lá! Hendery mora daqui três ruas, né? Renjun e Yangyang perto do Norte Shopping e Hyuck lá no Méier?” Confirma enquanto manobra para sair do condomínio perto do estádio Nilton Santos, ou melhor, Engenhão.   

“Sim.” Hyuck corta os outros. “Acho que é melhor me deixar por último porque aí atravessa o viaduto uma vez só.” 

Desgraçado, Yangyang sussurra para Renjun, que concorda silenciosamente. 

“Faz sentido.” Declara, por fim, fazendo o moreno comemorar em seu interior.  No grupo do trio, eles trocam as seguintes mensagens.

Renjun: eu lavo minhas mãos  Yangyang: vê se n faz merda pf  Hyuck: q bom q vcs são imparciais 

O muxoxo de Huang é tão alto que te preocupa. “Ai, que foi? Entrei na rua errada, Jun?” 

Yangyang o cutuca com o cotovelo, apressando-o para te responder. “Hã?” Ele tenta se lembrar do que você acabou de dizer. “Não, não, tá certo. Agora é só daqui duas direitas.” 

O caminho até que foi rápido — você fez ser. Talvez estivesse curiosa para saber o que os risinhos dele estavam escondendo, talvez também estivesse torcendo para ficarem sozinhos logo. 

Assim que eles saíram do carro, a atmosfera mudou. Hyuck tomou a liberdade de descansar uma das mãos sobre sua coxa, observando sua reação — um suspiro quase imperceptível. O R&B baixinho só melhora tudo, a melodia envolvente provoca a imaginação de Lee. Ele está decidido a não deixar a oportunidade escapar. 

“Você tá com pressa pra chegar em casa?” Ele pergunta com um quê de esperança, vendo que já haviam chegado ao Méier. Você acena que não com a cabeça. “Pensei da gente continuar a festa.” 

“Hyuck…” 

“Qual foi, só conversar um pouquinho.” 

Você vira na rua dele, o prédio fica há apenas alguns metros. 

“Tem vaga pra estacionar?” Você brinca, como se fosse uma condição para que você aceitasse o convite.

Haechan mostra o aplicativo que controla o portão automático já aberto no celular. “Não aceito não como resposta.” 

Maldito. Maldito sorriso vitorioso também. Maldito Donghyuck Lee por mexer tanto com a sua cabeça ao ponto de te convencer a subir ao apartamento dele para conversar. 

Por sinal, a conversa começa no elevador. O porteiro mal teve oportunidade de responder ao boa noite do casal, visto que Hyuck quase correu para dentro do cubículo. Apertou um dos botões, você nem viu o andar. Ao sentir os lábios dele nos seus, apenas fechou os olhos e deixou suas mãos passearem pela nuca alheia, entregando-se completamente. 

Ao mesmo tempo que era tão novo, parecia tão familiar. Os dedos firme de Lee apertam sua cintura com força, mas sem pressa, no mesmo ritmo que te beija. Sua língua envolve a dele como se tivessem todo tempo do mundo. A lentidão dos movimentos não condiz com as batidas aceleradas no peito, a adrenalina corre pelas suas veias, porém não é só isso. É ele, culpa toda dele. 

“Tava doido pra fazer isso.” Ele confessa, e morde seu lábio inferior delicadamente. 

A porta se abre, e vocês caminham entre selinhos leves até a porta do 809. Agora que, finalmente, te beijou, Hyuck não quer perder um segundo sequer longe da sua boca. 

Ele deixa que entre primeiro, você dá alguns passos mais para o centro da sala de estar surpreendentemente organizada. Tem algumas fotos decorando as paredes e um quadro enorme na parede ao seu lado, que prende sua atenção enquanto Haechan tranca a porta. 

O homem absorve sua figura, parece focada na pintura que vê. Devagar, ele caminha na sua direção até chegar bem perto. Não dá para resistir a você. Ele troca os fios do seu cabelo de lugar, deixando uma parte do seu pescoço livre para que ele deixasse os beijos cuidadosos e molhados que ele havia guardado. Cola seus corpos num abraço apertado e sente suas costas se relaxarem.

Você conduz a mão livre do moreno a explorar o seu corpo. As digitais sob as suas afagam sua coxa, sua bunda, seu quadril, abdômen e vão sozinhas até um de seus seios. Ele aperta com carinho, sem deixar de abusar dos beijos ainda. 

“Vem cá.” Você vira seu corpo e o beija outra vez. Agora com mais urgência, muito mais necessitada dos toques dele. 

“Sobe.” Ele pede, te tomando no próprio colo depois que você dá um impulso leve e entrelaça as coxas em seus quadris. 

É sua vez de distribuir beijos pela pele quente de Donghyuck. Ele se concentra, mas suas mordidas no pescoço dele não o ajudam. Ao chegarem no quarto, você é colocada na beirada da cama com muita delicadeza. Ele te admira um momento, mordendo o próprio lábio em antecipação. 

Você o puxa para si novamente, sentindo o peso dele sobre seu corpo, sentindo o volume na bermuda dele arrastar na sua lingerie molhada e exposta pela barra curta do vestido que usa. O atrito não passa despercebido, o suspiro dele te agradou muito. Mais outra vez retomam o beijo, desta vez os quadris se alinham deliciosamente.

“Deixa eu tirar esse vestido?” Foi uma pergunta retórica. 

Você sorri nos lábios do homem. De repente, troca a posição, ficando por cima. Provoca ao remover a peça bem lentamente, a visão o faz estremecer. “Gostosa.” Seus seios nus e a calcinha roçando nele o fazem querer tirar uma foto, parece o paraíso. 

Não dá para acreditar que o otário do Dejun te viu assim, mas que porra. Você é dele. 

Ele se senta e manda a própria camisa para algum canto do cômodo. Você traça os músculos tonificados com a unha, Hyuck adora a expressão no seu rosto ao vê-lo um pouco mais exposto. Ele beija sua clavícula e traça um caminho molhado até seus peitos, brincando com eles como bem entende. Usa os dedos para beliscar um e a língua para estimular o outro. Ele geme no processo ao sentir o ritmo das suas reboladas mudarem. 

“Duvido que sua namoradinha faz você ficar assim tão rápido.” Nem deu tempo de reprimir as palavras, quando viu, já foi. 

Algo incendiou em Donghyuck quando te ouviu falar assim. Não era só ironia, tinha algo possessivo. Ainda mais com as suas unhas apertando os ombros dele sem pena de marcar. Que bom que ele não era o único. 

“Não faz, só você.” Ele responde submisso. Está irreconhecível, longe de ser aquele Donghyuck cuja missão de vida era te irritar. Aqui, agora, ele quer ser seu, realizar os seus desejos. 

Você sai do colo dele e tira as últimas peças que ainda o cobriam. O membro rijo e babado te dá água na boca, e Hyuck sente de novo uma onda de prazer percorrer seu corpo apenas pelo seu olhar nele. Ele aproveita para acariciar o interior da sua coxa e subir até sentir sua umidade. 

“Porra.” Ele geme, movendo a renda para o lado e lambuzando dois dedos nos seus fluidos. “Tá molhadinha, toda pra mim.” 

“Hyuck…” Joga a cabeça para trás e sua pelve se move para frente. “Mais, amor, por favor.” 

Haechan se livra de sua última peça de roupa com pressa e se senta bem embaixo das suas pernas entreabertas. “Senta, vem.”

Você reluta um instante. Ponto pra mim, ele pensa. 

“Senta na minha cara, amor.”  

“Mas não vai te-” 

“Vem.” 

Ele queria mesmo ser sufocado pela sua buceta, não poderia ligar menos de ficar sem respirar se fosse para te excitar ao ponto de escorrer pelo próprio rosto.

Hyuck começa devagar, ouvindo seus gemidos e deixando que seus sons o guiem. Lambe seu pontinho inchado na direção que te faz espremer as coxas ao redor do pescoço dele. 

O tapa que estala na sua bunda, seguido de um aperto forte, te faz ver estrelas e melar mais ainda a boca gostosa do moreno que te engole inteira. Você sente os olhos revirarem pelo prazer quando ele encontra justamente o ponto que te tira do eixo. O nome de Lee sai de seus lábios repetidas vezes, ao passo que sua respiração desregula, seus dedos do pés travam, e você goza na língua do homem. Todo o seu corpo pulsa rápido, ainda mais errática lá embaixo, deixando-o orgulhoso do próprio trabalho.

Haechan deixa que você se recupere, te deitando sobre a cama. Você captura seus lábios, e ele se derrete no contato. Uma de suas mãos dá a atenção que o pau carecia, e ouve-o arfar em satisfação. O moreno está entorpecido na sensação de tê-la assim tão perto, algo que antes não passava de um devaneio. A quantidade de coisas que deseja, cheio de tesão, não está escrito. Mas ele tem paciência, qualquer coisa que você der, ele aceita. 

Não contava, entretanto, que você mesma já estava impaciente. 

“Vai me comer, Hyuck?” Sua voz diz, muito mais num tom de comando do que curioso. 

“Fala que quer meu pau, gostosa. Eu faço o que você quiser.” 

“Me fode, amor. Por favor, me fode.” 

Irresístivel um pedido assim. Ele admira seu corpo despido como um enfeitiçado. Alinha o pau na sua entrada, brincando com seu gozo e provocando com a cabecinha. Porém, não aguenta muito tempo. Logo escorrega a extensão inteira sem dificuldade alguma. Enterra o rosto na curva do seu pescoço para não se deixar levar pela sensação. 

“Caralho. Muito apertada.” 

Então você comprime o canal de propósito, Hyuck suspira alto e agarra o lençol com os nós brancos das mãos. 

“Gata, porra! Caralho, faz de novo.” Ele pede, começando os movimentos, bem lentinho. Você atende ao pedido, e ele geme sem pudor. “Que buceta gostosa, puta merda.” 

“Vai, amor. Me come, assim.” Pede, entregue novamente. 

O vai e vem de Lee aumenta aos poucos, os barulhos de pele na pele preenche o quarto junto com os gemidos e os elogios do moreno. A melhor buceta que já comi, ele confessa sem pensar. Você é só minha, se convence. 

Ele nunca havia se sentido assim, tão focado e tão fora de si ao mesmo tempo, tão vivo. Não dá para saber se era porque havia a tensão e o desejo de meses acumulados, mas nunca esteve tão eufórico, não sabia que era possível querer tanto ao ponto de arrepiar dos pés a cabeça e questionar que porra de conexão é essa que só de te olhar ele se sente perto do ápice. 

“Goza pra mim, Hyuck.” Passa o polegar sobre os lábios avermelhados dele. “Goza dentro, me faz sua.” 

Finalmente, ele se desfaz, despejando os jatos grossos no seu canal. A euforia o percorre por inteiro e o faz perder a cabeça um momento. A porra escorre até o branco do lençol, faz uma bagunça. Ele não se importa. 

Você o abraça até que se acalme, e Haechan aproveita, sente o cheiro da sua pele, processa os últimos acontecimentos. Se for chamado de filho da puta pelos amigos pelo resto da vida em troca de te ter, foda-se, ele está mais do que disposto a aceitar. 

[atinylittlepain]

gif by @manny-jacinto

Baby Blue - A Joel Miller Story

Joel Miller x f!reader/f!oc

joel miller masterlist

Joel loses a bet to Ellie and is forced to chaperone a dance in Jackson. He might not mind it as much when he sees that their pretty neighbor is also chaperoning.

warnings | 18+ light on the angst, heavy on fluff, SMUT

a/n | this can be read as a standalone or as a continuation of Sweetness, it's just fun either way :)

..................

Joel lost a bet. He had taken Ellie out to practice her shooting, lining up old cans as targets. She was getting a little too cocky about her aim, so he had upped the ante, moving the still-standing cans a few more yards away, stacking them in a pyramid. 

“If you’re so good, kid, I’d like to see you hit just that top can there.” He pointed out to the can on top of the stack. Ellie scoffed.

“Easy. You don’t think I can do it, old man?” He just shot her a look out of the corner of his eye, crossing his arms over his chest. Ellie was grinning.

“Do you bet I can’t do it?” She had caught him that day in a half-decent mood, so for once, he was game to play along.

“What’s your wager, kid?” She thought for a moment, before her eyes lit up wildly and she fixed him with a grin. Joel was suddenly a lot less interested in playing along.

“If I hit that can, you gotta sign up to chaperone the dance they’re throwing next week.” Joel actually groaned at that. When he had heard from Maria about their plan to host a makeshift prom for all the high-school-aged kids in the town, Joel had thought to himself that there might not be anything he missed less than the concept of a bunch of hormonal teenagers nervously fucking around in a humid gymnasium for a whole night. He had chaperoned one dance before, Sarah’s first and only homecoming, and his heart seized at the memory of how he almost blew a gasket watching Matthew Brown getting a little too handsy with his daughter. Needless to say, when they had asked at the next town meeting for adults to volunteer to chaperone, Joel had not offered his services up.

“Ellie, there’s gotta be something else. I’m not going anywhere near that dance.”

“Well if you’re so sure I’m gonna miss, what’s it matter anyways?” He cocked an eyebrow at her.

“And if you miss, what do I get?” 

“If I miss, I’ll stop bugging you about your very obvious crush on our neighbor.” Ellie hadn’t let up about the young woman next door, not since Joel’s fake birthday when she had helped Ellie bake that cake for him. What the girl didn’t know was that the pair had shared a kiss that night, but since then, Joel had been hopeless. He’d greet her whenever he saw her around, and they’d exchange a few nice words, but everytime he talked to her his brain went fuzzy with the memory of that night, and he’d yet to “make a move” as Ellie had been goading him to do ever since.

“Alright, kid. Let’s see what you got I guess.” They shook on it. Joel wasn’t really worried about it. Hell, he didn’t even think he could make that shot, and if it meant getting Ellie off his back about their pretty neighbor, he was game.

He had sorely underestimated the kid, which was why he found himself in the old Jackson rec center gymnasium on a Saturday night, watching a bunch of puberty-ridden children of the apocalypse dance with each other to old cassette tapes from the eighties. This certainly hadn’t been on his end-of-the-world bingo sheet. 

He leaned back against the cement wall, his eyes scanning the crowd for Ellie until he found her awkwardly dancing with Dina. At least he didn’t have to worry about Matthew Brown tonight. It was mostly other women chaperoning, and they had all given him weird looks when he came to volunteer. He had thought to himself that next time, he’d move the cans a lot further away.

But then he saw her on the other side of the gym, his lovely neighbor in an equally lovely light blue dress. The dress itself wasn’t anything special, a short-sleeved thing that fell at her shins, but on her, Joel reckoned it was still the prettiest thing he’d seen in at least the last twenty years. Her eyes met his from across the gym and she smiled brightly, already walking over towards him as Joel’s brain began to blare the oh shit alarm. She sidled up next to him, bumping her shoulder into his.

“Joel Miller, can’t say I was expecting to see you here. You lose a bet or something?” His eyes went wide as he looked at her. She just laughed.

“Sorry, I had to. Ellie told me.” He huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. 

“That kid is gonna be the death of me.” She shrugged, offering him a grin.

“She’s certainly a spitfire, that one. You know, she always asks me if I’ve talked to you lately, always telling me that you’d like to see me.” Joel felt absolutely mortified, his eyes sweeping anywhere but towards her to hide his embarrassment. He caught Ellie’s gaze out of the crowd, and the girl looked so smug he’d like to dissolve into nothing on the spot. That damn kid. He shook his head, turning his attention back to his neighbor and trying to pull himself together. He cleared his throat.

“You, um, you look real nice.” Her smile started to ease the panicky feeling in his chest. She lightly swayed the skirt of her dress.

“Traded some of the tomatoes I’ve been growing this summer for it. Certainly not the same as what I wore to my own prom, but I guess it works for a chaperone.” He offered her a slight smile, rubbing the back of his neck and watching her smooth her hands down the skirt of her dress.

“Do you remember much of your own prom?” She laughed.

“Oh yeah. I wore this awful shiny purple dress and had matching butterfly clips in my hair. My date’s cufflink actually got stuck in one when he tried to pull a move in the back of the limo we rented, nearly scalped me he yanked so hard.” Joel couldn’t help the laugh that came out at that.

“Sounds memorable. I take it your date didn’t get too far in, uh, making his move?” She just let out a low whistle, shaking her head and swaying into his side again.

“What about you? Do you remember your prom?” He sighed, altogether liking the feeling of her shoulder continuing to brush into his too much.

“Hmm, I think mine was a little before your time. To be honest I don’t think we even made it to the dance, just ended up, uh, parking.” He blushed furiously as he got the words out, instantly regretting it. She just hummed.

“Wow, didn’t take you to be that kinda guy, Miller. I’m scandalized.” He could see by the smile threatening to creep onto her face that she was kidding. 

“Did you at least wear a suit?” He scoffed.

“Of course. Gotta wear a suit to prom. I wasn’t that much of a heathen.” She quirked her brow at him.

“What color?”

“Blue.” “Navy?” 

“Uh, not quite.”

“Like a royal blue then?” Joel just sighed, his shoes suddenly very interesting to him.

“No. You’re not telling me you wore a baby blue suit to prom are you?” He huffed.

“It was the 80s, alright? Everyone was wearing them, thought it was cool.” Her laugh was big and bubbling, eyes crinkling up as she looked at him in disbelief. She finally caught herself, resting her hand on his bicep and giving it a squeeze.

“I’m sorry, Joel. I just– never in a million years would I have pictured you in a baby blue suit and now I’m probably gonna be imagining it until the day I die.” He shook his head, not able to fight the smile breaking out at her delight in teasing him. He willed her to keep her hand on his arm, and she did, curling her fingers lightly and letting out a sigh.

“Laugh all you want, but my date thought I looked good that night.” She hummed, tilting her head up at him.

“I’ll buy that. But you look pretty good tonight too.” He choked on an inhale. He knew her flirting was entirely gratuitous, all he had on was a button down and jeans, the same thing he wore everyday. She leaned into his side.

“Whaddaya say, Miller. Will you be my prom date?” He let out a breathy laugh, feeling the blush creeping up his neck again. Maybe it was the sound of “the Cure” fizzing in the background, or the dizzy feeling he was getting watching the swish of the hem of her dress around her bare legs, but Joel finally decided to go for it. He tilted his head down to catch her gaze, a wry smile cracking across his face.

“I’m flattered, darlin. Thought you’d never ask.” The grin she gave him was her brightest yet, and Joel felt like he was melting on the spot.

They spent a while like that, leaning into each other against the back wall and snickering about nothing, lobbing flirtations back and forth. One of the other chaperones stopped by and slipped her a flask that they started passing between them, warmth quickly settling into both their features. Joel hadn’t felt this at ease in a long time, with her arm slung around his shoulders like they were the only two people in the room. She sighed resting her cheek on his arm as he glanced down at her.

“You know, even after he yanked my hair, my date still tried to make another move.” Joel scoffed but she just nodded.

“Mmhmm, he dragged me into the men’s bathroom, tried to get me to give him a handjob, pfft. I smacked him in the face and left right then and there, had to call my mom to come get me.” She laughed, but Joel wasn’t finding anything funny about it. Even though it had been at least two decades ago, and whoever this punk was had probably long been turned into a walking mushroom, Joel still briefly felt a twinge in his chest that he’d like to knock the guy’s lights out. He felt ridiculous, instead drawing his attention back to her and tentatively letting his hand wrap around her waist.

“That’s a really shitty prom memory.” And then, his tongue loosened by whatever they had been swigging from that flask, he said something way too bold.

“You wanna make a better one?” Her fingers stilled where they had been lightly playing with his shirt collar. She was just as shocked as him at his words, but she quickly caught herself, melting back into a smile.

“Well, depends who I’m making it with.” Joel was already slipping his hand into hers and turning heel to tug her along behind him out of the gym and into the hallway. Her breathy laugh of his name made his heart kick inside his chest. He was startled however, once they got out into the empty hall as she pulled him back towards her, tripping over his feet until they crashed together in a kiss. His hands quickly found purchase on her waist as she tugged him down by the hair at the nape of his neck. He couldn’t help the low groan that thrummed through his throat when she licked into his mouth. She pulled back with a wet click of spit, taking a big gasp of air. Joel’s knees felt weak at the sight of her, lips swollen and parted, chest heaving in her pretty blue dress. 

They were interrupted however, by the sound of chatter spilling out of the gym and into the hall. Joel’s eyes landed on another door, pulling her behind him and into what must have once been a supply closet. Luckily, when he flipped the lightswitch it worked, and they were back on each other in an instant, a tangle of tongues that was admittedly taking him right back to his highschool years. He walked her back until she was pressed up against the door, their hips slotting together, seeking more however they could get it. Her hands were grazing up and down his chest, sliding along the waist of his jeans in a way that was making him feel dizzy. His palms started to wander as well, from her waist down to the swell of her thighs, making her gasp when he squeezed the softness there before dipping around to her ass and he thought to himself that she was perfect in his hands. 

He was snapped out of the swimming reverie that was kissing her when he felt her fingers starting to work at his belt buckle. He was quick to take both her wrists in his hands, pinning them back against the door. She huffed at him and he could only breathily laugh at her frustrated expression

“Nuh-uh, darlin. This one’s gonna be all you, alright?” She smiled, her head lolled to one shoulder.

“We gonna go parking after this, prom date?” Joel grinned, already kneeling down in front of her.

“Something like that.” While he may have felt like he was back in highschool, he still had his very-much-not-teenaged knees and back to deal with and he was feeling it as he got down on the floor in front of her. He figured the pain would be worth it.

His palms gently curled around her ankles, skimming up along her calves and the backs of her thighs as he rucked up her dress along with him. Her breath hitched when his hands squeezed at her hips, not taking her eyes away from his as he thumbed at the band of her underwear.

“Is this ok?” She nodded, but it wasn’t enough for him. He gave her hips a harsh squeeze that made her gasp.

“Need you to tell me, darlin, please.” She drew one of her hands to card through his hair, tugging lightly at the scalp to get him to tilt his head up towards her. Her eyes were blown wide, and she squirmed in his grip. Joel felt like his head was going to explode just looking at her.

“It’s good, Joel. I want it, want you, please.” It was all he needed to hear, laying an open-mouthed kiss to the top of one of her thighs before sliding her underwear down her legs and helping her step out of them on wobbly feet. He drew the hem of her dress back up and she seemed to get the hint, bunching it up in one fist to keep it out of the way for him. He let his mouth wander up the plush inside of her thigh, breath grazing over her cunt in a way that made her shiver in his grasp. When he dipped away, however, trailing down her other leg, she breathed out a long whine. At that, he let his teeth graze her skin, nipping just a bit unkindly at the softness.

“Patience, prom queen, I’m getting there.” She scoffed.

“Oh, I’m prom queen now?” She went to say something smart, but was cut off with a broken gasp when he finally dragged his tongue through her folds.

“I’d sure give you the crown, darlin.” With that, he dipped back into her heat, drawing his tongue up from her fluttering entrance to her clit and swiping over the bundle of nerves there. He could feel her thighs shaking where his rough palms were splayed, and he drew her one leg by the back of her knee over his shoulder to open her up even more to him. She keened into his mouth, sighing out soft curses mixed with his name as he worked her over. It wasn’t lost on Joel that it had been a long time since he had done anything like this, but judging from the way she was tugging on his hair and canting her hips into him he hadn’t lost his touch.

“Fuck, Joel– want m-more– please– need more.” He rested his cheek on the swell of her thigh, bringing a hand up and slipping two of his fingers into her tight heat. The moan she let out was more of a cry at that, and Joel’s head went swimmy again at the feeling of her clenching around his fingers.

“Want you to come for me, darlin. I know you can. You wanna come for me?” She nodded frantically at his goading words, and Joel dipped his face back between her legs to lick harsh stripes against her clit as his fingers continued to steadily pump her. He came up for air for a moment, watching her face scrunched in pleasure above him, the sight made his cock twitch in his jeans.

“Please, baby, come for me. Just let go, pretty.” It was all it took to send her over the edge, her hips jerking in his grip and her cunt pulsing around his fingers as he fucked her through it. She let out a few warbly gasps of his name, tugging his hair to get him to stop working her over through the sensitivity. He finally pulled away and she hissed as he helped her get her foot back on the ground, slumping back against the door and gazing down at him with a hazy smile, her dress fluttering back down around her legs. Joel stood with a groan, his knees screaming in protest but he was quickly distracted by her pulling him in by his collar for a stomach-churning kiss. She pulled away with a gasp, eyes searching his.

“Joel, wanna feel you please. Want you to fuck me.” He groaned at that, dipping his forehead to rest on her shoulder and shaking his head lightly. She stilled in his grasp, and when he looked up at her again, a worried look had settled over her face. He couldn’t help the disbelieving laugh that rumbled in his chest, that this woman standing before him actually wanted him that much. The furrow between her brow deepened, but he was quick to lay a kiss there, stroking the arc of her cheek with his thumb.

“I want you too– believe me. But I’ll be damned if the first time I have you is in a fucking supply closet.” She let out a wild laugh at that, her eyes crinkling up as she looked at him and a warmth melted through Joel’s chest at the sound. 

“You know, I thought you were kidding about the whole parking thing.” Joel grunted, stealing another kiss from her before guiding her out of the closet.

“Fuck parking, I’m gonna take you home, darlin, if that’s alright with you?” They were already walking out of the gym but she still squeezed his hand and shot him a wicked grin.

“Sounds good, prom date, lead the way.” 

When one of the chaperones checked the door that had been left ajar, they were only slightly horrified to find a pair of panties strewn on the supply closet floor.

[dancingtotuyo]

2. a clouded mind and a heavy heart

Woman | Joel Miller x Reader

Series Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: No, Joel Miller isn’t stalking you. He just knows what you do every night.

Tags: Joel Miller x Reader. Age Gap. TV characters. Mostly cannon compliant for show & game. Timeline is changed.

Chapter Warnings: swearing, grief, talking & illusions to death & loss, references to cannon events & violence & other topics.

Words: 2419

Series Masterlist | Author Masterlist | Playlist

Joel looks out his front window. The sun dips past the mountain tops. You live next door to Tommy and Maria’s place presenting him with the perfect view of your front porch. You walked out 30 minutes ago, breathing in the fresh air, before setting out on a walk.

It’s a warm Monday night. He opens his window to let in the breeze while he waits for you to start your third and final lap. The promise of summer floats into the house.

While he hasn’t talked to you since that day in the clinic, he’s picked up a lot in the week he’s been here. You have a toddler, a boy named Carter. Tommy shared that piece of information. Joel remembers you had a brother named Carter too. Tommy didn’t respond when he asked about the boy’s father. You either feel comfortable enough to leave Carter sleeping in the house or his father is a shut-in, but he also notices the facing windows left open between yours and Tommy’s house. Maybe he’s out on an extended patrol.

Every night since he’s come back, you walk 3 laps. It’s so normal in a life before Cordyceps way, so suburban. He remembers you walking the block with your parents, friends, and sometimes Sarah.

He watches you every night, curiosity piqued. Tonight you step out in a fucking pajama set: a thin green shirt with matching shorts that show off your legs. He ignores the tug of desire, not quite recognizing it at first. He’s grown unfamiliar with it in the last year. There hasn’t been time for silly things like that, or anyone around. Besides, where does someone find a matching pajama set these days?

His feet carry him out to his own porch without thinking. You’re just about to start your final lap when you spot him. You raise your hand in a friendly wave. Again, it takes Joel back to the old way of life: polite waves and nods when you pass people, block parties with people you only talked to twice a year. Joel hated small talk then- still does, but he’d been raised not to be rude.

The wave isn’t an invitation by any means, but Joel finds himself meeting you in the middle of the road. You haven’t talked since he came into the clinic last week. He wasn’t home when you brought over the device to help his hand.

“Howdy neighbor,” you say.

Joel cocks his head to the side. Another slice of life. “Haven’t heard that one in a while.”

“Haven’t used that one in a while.” You mimic his movement. “How’s the hand?”

Joel instinctively rubs his thumb through the palm. “It’s alright.”

“You doing those exercises?”

Joel looks back at his porch, his thumb now moving across his bottom lip. He seems to be contemplating something. He looks almost out of place. You’ve never seen Joel Miller not hold command of the space he occupied.

“So, I’ll take that as a no.”

He bristled. “Say, would you care for some company? On your walk.”

“You stalkin me, Miller?” You cross your arms.

You know your routine is predictable. Most people in Jackson know you walk every night weather permitting, but the idea of getting Joel Miller to admit that he noticed it stirs a sense of pride in you.

Joel contemplates his words carefully. “Saw you walk out earlier. Looked like you might be going for another lap.”

Of course, he won’t admit it. Maybe one day you’ll pull the confession from him. “Wouldn’t mind a little company.” You step into motion and Joel follows.

You walk until the houses end, the cow pasture coming into view. They’re farther out tonight, looking like ants in the distance. Joel is quiet at your side, but the company is nice. You haven’t had company in a long time.

The two of you walk the fence line. You stare out at the pasture, toward the mountains as the breeze dances in your hair. You push it out of your face and in the dying light of day, Joel notices the fading light flicker off the gold on your left hand. He turns his head out toward the field clearing his throat. Shut-in husband it is. “So, how long have you been in Jackson?”

You wrap your arms around yourself. The gold band glares at him in his periphery. He didn’t see it on you at the clinic. Not that it matters. It doesn’t matter.

“I’ve been here the whole time.”

Joel looks surprised. The Jackson settlement hasn’t reached its 9th birthday yet.

“My grandparents had a vacation house a couple miles north of here. I was there with a group of friends when the outbreak hit. Jackson was already pretty quiet. Everyone who was here either panicked and left, or got loaded up by FEDRA.”

“No infected?”

“A few, but we took them out pretty quickly.”

Joel nods. “You avoided the evac crews.”

“We were at the house. It’s far enough out that we weren't in their search perimeter. My friend Kerry went… we told her not to.”

“Do you know if she made it?”

You shake your head. “We told her she couldn’t contact us, or tell anyone we were here.”

“Smart.”

You shift your weight from foot to foot. “How did you get all the way to Boston?”

Joel shrugged. “Just happened.”

“Tommy’s version was much more thrilling than yours.”

“Well, it’s Tommy.” He stops, leaning against the fence. The wind jostles his curls. He reminds you of a farmer looking over his herd.

Your hip rests against the fence post. You take in his profile. He’s still a beautiful man you think and then you toss the thought to the cows wary of the trap set before you.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” you say.

“Sounds like you already know.”

You nod. Tommy doesn’t talk about it much, but you’ve pieced things together over time, holding Maria’s hand when she came to you in crisis after Tommy told her.

“It doesn’t bother me, Joel. If that’s what you’re worried about.”

“It should bother you.” He says. “Should bother me.”

“Survival is a cruel game.”

Joel’s eyes finally land on yours. Something charges in the air. It sends electricity crackling through your bones, igniting something you haven’t felt in a long time. You swear he’s reading your thoughts.

You turn, heartbeat pounding in your ears, and head back on your well-worn route. You don’t know what to do with those feelings. Joel follows.

“You managed out here for 12 years? Alone?”

“After Kerry left, there were four of us: Anne, Denise, and my brother, Carter. We raided the houses around us. We found some stores that were relatively untouched. Everyone else left with the evac crew.”

Joel wracks his brain trying to remember meeting people by those names. You pick up on it. “They’re all gone. Infected or killed by raiders-” it’s been a long time, the death of your friends was hard, but losing your brother was the hardest. You push the memories back.

You can’t finish the sentence, even after all these years. Joel doesn’t ask you to. It’s the ending you’ve both encountered too often in this world- one less seat around the table.

Joel nods. The two of you fall into silence, but you’re okay with it. The quiet is nice. There’s a thrum of liveliness coming from the Tipsy Bison. A group of kids gather to play a game of kick-the-can out by the pasture in the growing dusk.

You catch Joel’s eyes roam around, absorbing it all.

“They even have town dances.”

You can’t quite pin Joel’s reaction. Bewilderment perhaps?

You remember the weirdness of it all. The Jackson group had fun, even before settling within the protective walls. It was an adjustment for you too.

You’d run like a fawn when the group came through. Maria sent a few people after you. Gabe was the one who tackled you in the autumn leaves. You landed a killer kick to his kidney and a fist to his eye before the others caught up.

They’d welcomed you into the group after assuring you were alone and a non-threat. They’d thrown a party after securing the original gated community. You can still see Gabe standing in front of you, hand outstretched smiling ear to ear with his swollen, purple eye. He wore it like a badge of honor. It sends a pang through your chest as your thumb plays with the gold band around your fourth knuckle. You haven’t been to a town dance since his death.

You finish the loop, drawing to a stop between your front doors. Joel turns to face you. Something flickers in his eyes, disappointment maybe. You wonder if he’s as lonely as you are.

His eyes lock with yours and you feel that charge again. The air seems to thicken, and you do the unthinkable. You let the trap snap. Just a small one, one you can control.

“You wanna take another lap? I bet we could fit one more in.”

Joel pauses. He’s never seen you do more than 3 laps. He feels the charge too. He’s playing with fire. The ring on your finger says so.

“Your husband okay with that?”

“If he wasn’t, he shouldn’t have died.”

Your own answer shocks you. It shocks Joel. Then, it creeps up on you, growing slowly- Gabe’s laughter. You know it’s all in your head, but he would have appreciated the humor. It spreads through you until the bubbly laughter escapes your mouth.

Joel tilts his head to the side. He can’t explain the way his chest feels lighter. “I'm glad you find it funny.”

He wonders if you catch the tension easing from his chest and the way his lips til upward. He doesn’t fully understand it yet, but he knows there’s something brewing inside him. Eight months ago, he would’ve run for the hills, and shut down whatever feelings he had, but it’s like opening up the gates for one person cracked it for more, but he’s still cautious. More people to care about is just more to lose. Ellie has him worrying enough as is.

His mind drifts to Tess- how he could never tell her what she wanted to hear. How he could never feel what she felt. Sure, Tess was like family to him; he cared for her in ways that were beyond a friend. Partners seemed to best describe it. He mourned her loss, but he’d shoved any greater feelings away long before that.

“I really don’t.” It spills over again. You cover your mouth. Joel raises an eyebrow. “It’s just that- he would’ve loved that joke”

Joel chuckles. You embrace the laughter, feeling lighter than you have in years. Tears gather in the corner of your eyes, forcing you to wipe them away.

Joel wants nothing more than to keep that smile plastered to your face. He recognizes it. It’s the very one Sarah used to pull from you. He needs it, craves it. Because now that he’s seen it again, he has to make sure it stays.

“Sounds like he had a good sense of humor.”

You manage a nod. “He sure did.”

“And Carter is okay?”

You cross your arms. “So you know I have a kid and his name? You sure you’re not stalking me?”

“Tommy told me.” He kicks at the dirt feeling a little silly. “He didn’t mention your husband.”

You bite your lip. “He and Tommy were close. They patrolled together, drank together, caused trouble together. They were like brothers.”

Joel nods. There’s a little stab in his chest with the reminder of the years he lost with Tommy. He sits with the feeling until it eases. He’s thankful for the family Tommy pulled together here.

You start on the additional lap without warning, but Joel follows. You’re unsure if you should open up. Do you want to open up? Does Joel want to hear it?

“He called me Doleful.”

“Your husband?”

“Yeah,” you smile. “Gabe would say- Doleful: the eighth dwarf that never was- that’s you.”

Joel’s eyebrows furrow, a deep crease forming between them. “That doesn’t seem very flattering.”

“It wasn’t- but it suited. I didn’t smile hardly ever. Didn’t joke.” You think back to the times before the group settled here, after your brother’s death. You don’t know how you kept on or why. “He made it his mission to made me laugh.”

Joel tried to picture it. You and Sarah were always laughing about something. You took Tommy’s shit and returned it, but he knew how this world changed people. “How long has it been?”

“2 ½ years.” It comes out so quickly. You imagine you could give him the number of days or hours if he asked. “I feel like I’m just now coming out of the fog. If it weren’t for Carter-“ you don’t let yourself finish the sentence, but you know you’d be a mad woman pacing your house like a ghost for the rest of time.

Joel nods. “Took me 20 years to come out of it. That ache never really goes away.”

You meet Joel’s eyes with a nod. “No, I guess I doesn’t.”

Your final lap comes to a close in silence. Lights from front porches illuminate your path home. You find yourself slowing your steps, extending your time together, but it’s not enough. You stop where you met, Joel turning to you.

“Thanks for letting me walk with you. I enjoyed it.”

“Anytime.” You wrap your arms around yourself. The thin pajama set provides little protection now that the sun is gone and the breeze has picked up.

Joel nods. You think you catch his eyes travel over your body. Warmth ignites inside you at the thought.

His voice seems to deepen. “Goodnight, Sweetheart.” He says, turning back towards his new home.

The nickname is oxygen to a flame creating a raging fire inside you. Chills rush across your skin. He’s called you that before, offhandedly, years ago in another lifetime. It had been completely innocent then: a side effect of living in the south, but you still melted whenever he did. This is different. Whether he intended it to be or not.

He’s already reaching for the door handle when you call out.

“Same time tomorrow?”

Joel looks almost surprised, but manages a nod. “Same time tomorrow.”

You don’t see the trip wire leading to the biggest trap of all.

[merrybloomwrites]

Masterlist

Harry Styles x Mitch Rowland x Sarah Jones x Reader

You Can Start a Family

Main Story: One ; Two ; Three ; Four ; Five ; Six ; Seven ; Eight ; Nine ; Ten

Sickfic Part 1 ; Part 2

Mitchrry Prequel

Fan Reactions

Holiday Blues

Mitchryy Reunion

Getting High

First Earthquake

Mitch x Reader Cockwarming

Harry Styles

Series

I Hear Them Calling

Prologue ; Chapter 1 ; Chapter 2 ; Chapter 3 ; Chapter 4 ; Chapter 5 ; Chapter 6 ; Chapter 7 ; Chapter 8 ; Chapter 9

Oneshots

Harryween

I Can't Take it Back

Spencer Agnew

I Feel The Earth Move

Shayne Topp

Ants Are Going to Town in My Body

A Podcast Love Story

[creedslove]

I think after a few kisses on the lips and cheek while cuddling him joel would melt and have no choice but to say yes to painting your nails

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

A/N: anon, this is too cute!!! And I kidnapped your ask in order to turn this into a headcanon hehehe

"why don't you want to do it, Joel?"

• you pout and chuckle when he grunts and rolls his eyes, he had already said no twice, not wanting to paint your nails for you

• it was not a big deal, he just thought it was weird and he was sure he wouldn't be able to do a good job at all

• you sighed and looked at him, it started as a joke but now you were actually into the idea of him painting your nails, it just sounded so cute and you wanted to see if he would do it

• as he was so relentless about it, you just lay against his strong body, taking his arms and wrapping around your frame, getting comfortable and pecking all over his cheek and then his lips

"you know, last Thanksgiving, Sarah told me you let her paint your nails when she was little and I thought it was pretty sweet"

• you shrugged and heard another grunt coming from him, accompanied by a small "fine" and you giggled, getting your nail polish and handing it to him

"I'm gonna paint your nails and then I wanna see them when your hand is wrapped around my cock while you give me the best blowjob of your damn life, got it?"

• he set his conditions and you nodded, both excited and turned on at how cranky and demanding he was

• and as Joel had a very good incentive now, he didn't hesitate to do it

• Joel didn't do a great job, but it was good enough for you, he'd done it what youw anted so it was your turn to please him by taking his thick cock into your mouth

____

[rubywolffxxx]

Corazón ajeno (Cregan Stark x lectora)

Masterlist de mi autoría

Nota: tiene finales alternativos. Al final dejo link.

Nota 2: desde anoche que tengo problemas con este fanfic. No me guarda borradores, o me descarta avances. Asi que lo odio. Ya ni ganas de escribir sinopsis xd. Lean. Ta lindo.

Cuando Aegon y Aemond fueron derrotados y Rhaenyra recuperó su legítimo lugar en el trono, todo comenzó poco a poco a acomodarse en Westeros.

Las pérdidas fueron enormes, y la reina quería compensar a todos los que siempre le fueron leales. Cregan Stark fue uno de ellos.

Sabía que tierras o riquezas era algo que no le interesaba como tal, por lo que pensó en algo más personal. Una alianza. Una venida de un matrimonio.

—¿Es en serio, madre?—

____ miraba a la reina sorprendida por la repentina decisión.

—Pensaba que lord Stark era tu enamorado de pequeña.—la miró con cierta burla, haciendo que la joven se avergonzara.

La verdad era que la hija mayor de Rhaenyra había conocido a Cregan años atrás, en la celebración del decimoquinto año de Aegon. Ella apenas tenía doce, pero el Cregan adolescente que vio en aquella fiesta se mantuvo en sus pensamientos todos esos años. Era apuesto, con pesada presencia y tan educado...

Verlo firme por el reclamo de su madre terminó de hacer que su corazón lo reclamara como dueño de sus anhelos y sentimientos.

Y ahora su madre le ofrecía casarla con él.

¿Cómo podría negarse?

—... ¿Puedo llevar a Sunny conmigo a Winterfell?—

—Bienvenida a Winterfell, princesa... Es suyo ahora.—

____ miró a Cregan con total fascinación cuando la recibió en las afueras de la fortaleza.

Era imponente, atractivo y feroz...

La incomodó un poco el tono tan formal y desligado que tenía con ella, pero no le dio mucha importancia.

La primer semana en Winterfell fue simplemente de acostumbramiento. No era sencillo para un dragón aclimatarse en el frío. Y no solo aplicaba a Sunfyre.

La gente en Winterfell era muy amable, todos la recibieron y se encargaron de hacerla sentir como en casa. ____ parecía ser apreciada por todos. Todos menos una persona.

—Pensé que había muerto.—Sarah Snow miraba como Rickon reía al abrazarse al cuello del enorme dragón.

—Casi muere, pero lo mantuvieron oculto hasta que se recuperó.—explicó ____ a su cuñada—. Mi tío y yo siempre tuvimos buen trato... Y antes de que todo terminara me hizo jurar que protegería a Sunfyre.— alzó a Rickon, acomodándolo sobre la montura—. Fue decisión del destino que Sunny me eligiera cuando Aegon murió... O tal vez fue su voluntad.—

—Mamá, sube.—La pequeña Mariah alzó las manos hacia ____, quien antes de poder alzarla, escuchó la voz de Cregan a sus espaldas

—Ella no es tu madre, Mariah.—alzó a la pequeña, para luego mirar a ____—. Agradecería que corrigieras esos malentendidos, esposa.—

—No me molesta, Cregan. Yo sé que-

—A mi me molesta... No quiero que se confundan y olviden a sus verdaderas madres.—

Auch...

Pero tenía un punto.

—Entiendo. Lo lamento. La próxima vez lo corregiré.—

Cregan asintió apenas, volteando hacia Rickon.

—Bájate de ahi, hijo. Es hora de entrenar con espadas.—

—Pero, padre...—

—Mas tarde podrás ayudarme a alimentar a Sunny, Rickon.—____ intervino al ver que el pequeño iba a hacer molestar a su padre—. Si tu padre lo permite...—

Rickon bajó del lomo de Sunfyre, acariciando su hocico una última vez antes de acercarse a su padre.

—La cena estará servida pronto... Vuelvan a la fortaleza.—

Cregan se despidió de ambas mujeres y se marchó con el par de niños.

—... ¿Estoy haciendo algo mal, Sarah?—____ volteó hacia la mujer, a quien consideraba la única amiga y confidente del lugar.

—No es eso, querida... Cregan aún sigue aferrado a Alys Blackwood... Y creo que incluso antes que ella, su primer esposa aún está en sus pensamientos.—Sarah miró a Sunfyre alzar vuelo hacia lugares más cálidos—. Los del norte amamos con toda la intensidad y significado de la palabra... Y mi hermano es alguien difícil de abrirse, pero con ellas lo hizo.—

—¿Y yo? ¿Seré capaz de abrirme a alguien por primera vez?—la miró preocupada—. ¿A alguien que ya se abrió a otras con anterioridad?—

—No voy a decirte algo con certeza, yo no sé nada... Pero si él te aceptó por esposa, es porque te tiene cierto aprecio.—

—... Aprecio no es amor.—

____ comenzaba a preocuparse.

Sabía que en Westeros las bodas por acuerdo y sin amor de por medio eran normales, pero ella no quería eso. Ella quería un esposo que la amara de la misma manera que ella lo amara a él. Un hogar cálido, una familia unida por lazos reales y no por simples obligaciones.

Ella amaba a Cregan, adoraba a los niños y veía en Sarah a una hermana.

Pero Cregan...

Sentía que estaba en un plano ajeno.

Cuando la boda se celebró, Cregan indicó que los "deberes maritales" no serían obligatorios. ____ pasó su noche de bodas sola en su cuarto, intentando controlar el profundo dolor en su corazón.

Pero lejos de lo que la princesa creía, Cregan la quería mucho. Pero la culpa pesaba sobre él.

Adoraba la forma tan dulce y amorosa con la que la mujer trataba a sus hijos, a la gente de su pueblo. Verla practicar tiro al blanco con Rickon, o bordados con Mariah llenaban su pecho de felicidad.

Pero entonces recordaba a Alys, y la idea de que estaba reemplazando su lugar no le gustaba nada. Rickon era más consiente, sabía que la mujer no era su madre. Aún asi la amaba a su manera. Pero Mariah... detestaba la idea de que la pequeña olvidara a Alys y viera a ____ como su mamá.

Estaba fallándole a Alys, a su memoria.

Pero por desgracia, Cregan procuraba tanto cuidar la imagen de su fallecida esposa que descuidaba a la actual. La cual poco a poco comenzaba a dudar de su compromiso.

—¿Puedo pedir otro regalo?—

—Estoy segura de que tu cumpleaños ya ha terminado, corazón.—

____ terminó de arropar a Mariah, enfocándose en Rickon.

Ese día fue el cumpleaños numero 10 del pequeño, y algo preocupada por el ambiente alborotado del salón -resultado del vino y descontrol de ebrios tontos-, ____ decidió que era hora de llevar a los niños a la cama.

—Uno más... por favor, ____.—la mujer sonrió.

—Bien ¿de qué se trata?—

—¿Sabes alguna historia de dragones? ¿Alguna canción para nosotros?—

—Ahora que lo mencionas... Mi madre me cantaba cada noche una canción muy bonita sobre un dragón que buscaba un hogar...—____ le cantó al par de niños aquella melodía que recordaba con tanto cariño, sin saber que alguien más escuchaba todo desde la puerta entreabierta del cuarto.

Apenas corroboró que ambos estaban dormidos, salió del cuarto. Grande fue el susto que se llevó al ver a Cregan ahí de pie, cortándole el paso.

—Por los dioses, Cregan...—se llevó la mano al pecho.

—Esa canción... fue muy hermosa.—

Por el tono de su voz, ____ supo que estaba algo ebrio.

—¿Lo es? Pues gracias.—

—No pensé que eras de las que cantaban.—la mujer cerró la puerta del cuarto, comenzando a caminar.

—Nunca me preguntaste...—

—Yo sé todo de ti, eres mi esposa... y eso no lo sabía.—____ lo miró divertida.

Tal vez un Cregan ebrio terminaría siendo mejor conversador que uno sobrio.

—¿Y qué sabes de mi, eh?—

____ se llevó una gran sorpresa al sentir que Cregan la atrapaba entre sus grandes brazos, pegándola a él. Su rechazo por el vino la hizo alejar un poco el rostro, pero aún asi no se separó. La situación era más que estimulante.

¿finalmente Cregan la besaría?

Llevaba meses viviendo en Winterfell, y hasta ese momento, nunca la había tocado. Sin contar tomar su mano, o presionar su hombro en una que otra ocasión.

Ahora sentía la calidez de sus brazos atraparla, y comenzaba a creer que las cosas podrían mejorar.

Pero no, harían justo lo contrario.

—Ya te lo dije, yo lo sé todo de ti, Alysanne.—

Para cuando Cregan besó su cuello y se aferró a su cintura, ____ ya se había bloqueado. Lo apartó enseguida, mirándolo sin terminar de creerse lo que había escuchado.

Cregan se veía desorientado, sin parecer asimilar que aquella mujer no era Alysanne.

____ comenzó a llorar, pero no tardó en huir del lugar. Se refugió en su cuarto, sepultándose enseguida entre las sábanas de su cuarto.

Se había decidido.

En la mañana volvería a King's Landing.

Apenas era media mañana cuando la estridente voz de Sarah despertó a Cregan.

La jaqueca hacía que los ruidos se multiplicaran y molestaran por diez, sin mencionar el griterío de la mujer.

—¿Qué quieres, Sarah? ¿Por qué entras así?—

—¡Los sirvientes dicen que ____ tomó sus cosas y se fue!—Sarah destapó a su hermano de un tirón—. La mucama dijo que ella parecía haber estado llorando ¿Qué diablos le hiciste?—

—¿Cómo piensas que le pude hacer algo?—Cregan hizo un esfuerzo por espabilar.

—Cierto... tú no haces nada, tú no dices nada. Por eso esa mujer cree que no la amas.—Sarah miró por la ventana, no había rastros de la mujer en el patio interno.

—¿De qué diablos hablas?—

Sarah volteó a mirarlo más que indignada.

—Vas a perder a tu tercer esposa... Y esta no está muerta, la perderás por idiota. Tal vez sea lo mejor... ____ es demasiado buena para ti.—

Cregan miró a su hermana salir del cuarto, y ahora sí se estaba preocupando.

No recordaba mucho de la noche anterior, pero mientras terminaba de abrigarse, una simple imagen llegó a su mente. Él la llamaba Alysanne.

—Diablos...—

—¡Sunny!—____ cruzaba aquella arboleda con dificultad. No tanto por la nieve que apenas se acumulaba en el suelo, sino por el frío que le carcomía los huesos. Tendría que haberse llevado un mejor abrigo. Aún así, la sangre de dragón la mantenía estable. Y estaba tan molesta que incluso le hervía bajo la piel. El dragón dorado emergió de una cueva, gorgoteando con cariño al ver a la mujer—. Māzigon naejot lenton (volveremos a casa).—Sunfyre se inclinó enseguida, gustoso de poder dejar el helado lugar.

____ amarró su única bolsa con las cosas que consideró importantes a la silla del dragón, y mientras se acomodaba los guantes, el trote apurado de un caballo la hizo voltear.

—... ¿Podemos hablar?—

—No quisiste hacerlo en 4 meses y ahora quieres...—____ terminó de acomodar sus guantes, y revisó las riendas del dragón.

—Lo siento mucho, esposa mia.—

—No me llames asi.—

—Volvamos, hace mucho frío... Ten, déjame darte-

—¡Aléjate!—____ le dio un manotazo a la capa que Cregan quiso colocar en su espalda. Y Sunfyre rugió al sentir la hostilidad de su jinete—. Volveré a casa, a MI casa. Y le pediré a madre que rompa el compromiso... Esto no debió pasar nunca.—____ ajustó la rienda algo histérica, sintiendo que las lágrimas enfriaban aún más sus mejillas.

—Déjame explicártelo, ____... Lo lamento mucho. Lo de anoche fue... Lo siento mucho.—

—Aún amas a tu esposa muerta, Cregan... Han pasado 6 años y aún la lloras.—ella lo miró finalmente—. No lo juzgo, pero si aún no la superabas, no me hubieses tomado como tu esposa.—

Ver que aquella mujer que tan risueña y amable era todo el tiempo ahora estaba tan rota... Cregan se sintió una mierda.

—Es cierto que aún amo a Alysanne pero-

—Esta muerta. Yo era tu esposa.—

Era...

—¿Crees que tus sentimientos valen más que los míos, Cregan? ¿Que yo no sufría?—lo increpó—. Crees que Alysanne merecía más tu amor que yo... Los muertos no necesitan amor, los vivos sí. Y creo que fui una esposa y señora más que digna de un mísero abrazo al menos... Y nunca me lo diste.—____ se quitó aquel collar que Cregan le dio el día de su boda, lanzándolo al suelo.

—No seas precipitada, volvamos y-

—¡Soy ____ Targaryen, maldita sea! ¡La primera con el nombre, conciliadora de Vale, princesa de Westeros y jinete de Sunfyre. No debería estar aquí rogando por el amor a una muerta!—Subió al dragón enseguida, y después de que Sunfyre le rugiera en la cara, ____ ascendió a los cielos, perdiéndose entre el nublado cielo.

—Tienes suerte de que esa mujer aprecia a tus hijos y quiero creer que a mi también... o ya tendríamos a cinco dragones reduciendo Winterfell a cenizas.—Sarah miró a su hermano, quien sujetaba su rostro frustrado entre ambas manos.

—No estaba siendo consciente de lo mucho que ella estaba sufriendo, Sarah... He sido un cretino.—

—Si, lo fuiste. Mira lo que has ocasionado.—

Apenas la mujer dejó Winterfell, Cregan envió cuervo tras cuervo para solicitar su regreso. Ninguno fue respondido.

El pueblo comenzaba a cuestionar la ausencia de su señora, y aún peor, Rickon y Mariah querían a la mujer de vuelta. Cregan también. Pero comenzaba a creer que eso no pasaría.

—¿Dónde está ____?—Rickon entró a la sala acompañado de Mariah.

—____ volvió a casa por unos asuntos familiares.—respondió Sarah al ver que su padre no parecía tener idea de que decir.

—Se fue sin decir adiós... ¿Ella está bien?—Rickon no era tonto, sabía que algo pasaba. Extrañaba a la mujer, quería que volviera. Era su pilar ahora, y Cregan quiera o no, ella era su mamá. La necesitaban.

—... Tia Sarah ¿Irá ____ a la celebración de Riverlands?—

Cregan miró de inmediato a su hijo. Sintió una repentina oleada de esperanza.

Medio año había pasado desde el regreso de Rhaenyra al trono, y para celebrar la reconstrucción definitiva de Harrenhal y su entrega oficial a la próxima casa guardiana, celebrarían un gran festín. ____ fue la que puso fin a la disputa Blackwood - Bracken, por lo que su presencia debía ser casi obligatoria. Cregan contaba con eso.

—Él va a ir... Lo sé.—cargaba a su hermano más pequeño en brazos, hamacándolo vagamente mientras miraba a su madre.

—¿Quieres que corte su cabeza?—____ enarcó una ceja ante el comentario de Jace, quien sonrió apenas.

—Ya hemos roto el compromiso, no podrá reclamar nada... Y dudo que lo haga, no tiene derecho.—Rhaenyra la miró con calma—. Son una casa aliada, con la cual fracasó una boda... Dejémoslo en solo eso para no ocasionar problemas.—

La joven asintió no muy convencida, estrechando a su hermano con cariño...

Extrañaba a los pequeños Stark.

La pequeña caravana de Stark apenas llegaba a Riverlands cuando un rugido conocido por los pequeños resonó sobre sus cabezas.

—¡Sunny!—El pequeño Rickon casi y brinca del carruaje al ver al dragón dorado danzar en los cielos acompañado de Vermax y  Moondancer.

—Son los dragones de Jacaerys, el hermano de ____. Y Baela.—Sarah llamó la atención del pequeño.

—¿____ me dejará montarlo? Extrañé mucho a Sunny también.—Rickon miró a su padre, quien no tenía respuesta a ello.

Apenas llegaron al castillo, Rickon y Mariah se escaparon de su padre, buscando a la mujer. No tardaron en encontrarla.

—¡Mamá!—____ sintió que su corazón se partía en mil pedazos al ver a Mariah en un mar de lágrimas abrazarla con desesperación.

Rickon se acercó también, aferrándose a su cintura y llorando en silencio.

Los estrechó con fuerzas, haciendo un gran esfuerzo por no llorar también.

—Hola, lobitos. Me alegra mucho verlos... Los extrañé mucho.—

—¿Por qué no volviste entonces?—

La mujer no supo bien qué responder, cuando vio a Cregan aparecer en el salón.

Respiró profundo, intentando mantener la compostura. Trató bajar a Mariah de sus brazos, pero la pequeña se aferró cual koala a sus hombros. Soltarla no era una opción.

—¿Podemos ver a Sunny?—Rickon llamó la atención de la mujer, quien asintió enseguida.

Cregan miró desde lejos como la mujer dejaba el lugar con sus hijos, y no tardó en seguirla a través de la multitud de invitados.

—Sunny se lleva muy bien con Vermax, se han hecho buenos amigos.—

—Eso es porque nosotros somos familia.—

____ sonreía con ternura al ver como Rickon se volvía loco con las enormes criaturas, y como Jace lo alentaba con sus tonterías.

—¿Puedo dar un paseo con Jace?—Rickon miró al príncipe—. ¿Me llevas, por favor?—

—No puede hacerlo sin permiso de tu padre.—____ intervino al ver que Jace estaba por acceder.

—Nunca pediste permiso para que volara antes ¿Por qué lo necesitarías ahora?—

____ volteó al escuchar la voz de Cregan, notando cómo se detenía a su lado.

—Porque antes era su tutora, lord Stark... ya no lo soy.—

Ah... Cregan se sintió horrible.

—Pueden volar si quieren, tienen mi permiso.—Cregan miró a Jace, quien no tenía problemas en mostrarle su peor cara.

—... No pienso dejarte a solas con ella.—

—Esta bien, Jace.—____ llamó su atención—. Necesito hablar con él.—El castaño asintió, invitando a los pequeños a seguirlo.

—... Te han extrañado mucho.—habló Cregan al ver que estaban lo suficientemente lejos—. Esperaban que los arroparas cada noche... Y me temo que yo no sé cantarles.—

—Yo les cantaba cada noche desde mi cuarto en King's Landing, deseándoles buenos sueños.—____ lo miró—. Yo también los extrañé mucho a ellos.—

Cregan se removió incómodo, sin saber cómo avanzar.

—____, yo-

—Rompí el compromiso, Cregan. Apenas llegué a King's Landing semanas atrás.—eso no le gustó a Cregan—. Ya nada nos ata... Pero si te parece correcto, me gustaría que Rickon y Mariah aún mantengan lazos conmigo.—

—Mantendrás lazos si reanudamos el casamiento... Yo no deseo cortar nada. Quiero recomponerlo, darte lo que mereces.—

—Tuviste 5 meses para hacerlo, para reforzar los lazos... Pero los fuiste gastando, y tuve que cortarlo definitivamente.—lo miró—. En una semana, comenzaré a buscar un nuevo esposo.—

No...

—Me presentaré entonces, pediré tu mano otra vez.—la miró con cierta desesperación.

—Que la pidas no significa que te la dé.—

Cregan se paró frente a ella, ya sin saber muy bien cómo arreglar el asunto.

—Dijiste que los muertos no necesitan amor, yo creía que si y por ello te fallé... Por favor, princesa... Solo una oportunidad más.—miró por un segundo el dragón que los sobrevolaba—. Ellos esperan que tú vuelvas con nosotros hoy, esperan que los arropes en la noche... Y yo espero que me acompañes también, para recuperar todo el tiempo perdido.—

____ sintió que su corazón flaqueaba al ver la desesperación que Cregan demostraba. Aquel hombre estoico que tantos días la mantuvo en la completa soledad ahora estaba ahí, rogando por otra oportunidad.

No supo qué responder.

—... Preséntate si quieres a la ceremonia de selección, será dentro de 6 días... Pero no prometo nada.—vio como sus ojos se iluminaban con esperanza—. En cuanto a los niños, me gustaría que les permitas quedarse hoy conmigo aquí... Puedo devolverlos en la mañana.—

—Eso los haría muy felices... Agradezco que a pesar de todo quieras seguir siendo parte de su vida.—

—Ellos y Sarah fueron la calidez que necesité para no perder la cabeza en Winterfell... Nunca les daría la espalda.—La mujer comenzó a alejarse—. Disfruta el resto de la celebración, Cregan... Dejando de lado nuestros asuntos, estamos en una fiesta.—

Cregan la vio descender la colina a paso tranquilo, más no la siguió.

Se quedó solo, esperando que Jace le devolviera a sus hijos. Aprovechó para ver cómo podría recuperar la mano de la princesa.

—¿Pero cómo es el juego entonces? ¿Me llevo el conejo?—

—Si gana, se lo lleva.—

—Es que ganaré, pero necesito saber si será vivo... Mariah no quiere que lo maten.—

—Esa es mucha confianza.—____ había estado mirando preocupada al animal en la jaula, cuando aquel lord se acercó con una leve sonrisa.

—Por supuesto, ganaré. La niña quiere el conejo y yo se lo daré... Por cierto, ¿usted es?—

—Benjicot Blackwood, milady... Usted trató con mi tío durante las reconciliaciones, ahora asumí mi lugar.—

—Oh, no estaba al tanto. Felicidades por el ascenso.—lo vio sonreír, para luego pasar la mirada al pequeño animal.

—Bueno, prometo que si gano, no lo mataré... ¿Lo aceptaría como regalo?—

—No, porque yo lo ganaré.—Ben sonrió incluso más, y ____ vio en esa sonrisa extraña cierto atractivo—. Pero, en el imposible caso de que usted gane... El regalo sería para la pequeña.—miró a Mariah, quien estaba a un costado.

—Si gano la competencia y el conejo... ¿Tendría algún tipo de ventaja durante la ceremonia de pretendientes?—

—¿Pedirá mi mano?—

—Ganaré su mano.—

—Esa es mucha confianza.—lo vio encogerse de hombros—. Pero eso ya lo veremos... Ahora enfóquese en el conejo.—

La competencia de punteria dio inicio, y al final solo llegaron ____ y Ben. El hombre ganó por poco.

—Una magnífica y hermosa criatura de finos rasgos y cabello tan banco como la nieve... adorable y con un encanto casi mágico, de fácil querer...—Ben tomó el animal en brazos, pero nunca despegó la mirada de la mujer.

—... ¿Habla de mi o el conejo?—El lord rió bajito, alcanzándole el animal a Mariah, quien no tardó en estrecharlo con cuidado entre sus manos—. Felicidades, milord... Posee una gran habilidad con el arco.—

—Se agradece la estima... ¿Gusta dar un paseo conmigo?—____ sonrió enseguida.

—Entonces ella era tu tía...—____ miraba pensativa como Mariah jugaba a unos metros con Nieve, su nueva mascota.

—No supe que era hija de Alysanne... Me temo que ha pasado tiempo, no recuerdo mucho su rostro.—Ben volteó hacia la mujer—. ¿Ella tuvo algo que ver con el fallido compromiso?—

—Algo no. Todo. Me temo que Lord Stark nunca superó a Alysanne, y mi estadía en Winterfell no fue tan llevadera.—

—Bueno... le prometo que cuando venga a Riverlands, la recibiremos como una reina... Princesa.—le sonrió—. No tuve ninguna ex esposa que me genere traumas, asi que no se preocupe.—

—¿Sigue creyendo que ganará?—

—Usted me elegirá porque yo de verdad la deseo a usted. No busco beneficios, tierras o riquezas... Quiero a ____ Targaryen.—sonrió emocionado—. Una hermosa mujer, valiente guerrera y con una gracia digna de dioses... no puedo permitirme perder la mano de tan maravillosa posible compañera.—

—¿Compañera?—

—Gobernaremos Raventree juntos, lado a lado... Y no es que desee una guerra pero la idea de luchar a tu lado me resulta increíble... Asi que por favor, dame una oportunidad... Lucharé a muerte con quien sea por tu mano.—

—No, por favor. No quiero sangre en el salón.—____ sonrió divertida—. Esta bien, Benjicot... Tienes mi curiosidad, esperemos que en la ceremonia des un buen discurso.—

—Si se trata de ti, daré todo de mi.—

No fue necesario.

Esa misma noche, muchos lores dejaron la fortaleza, pero otros tantos pasarían la noche ahí. Benjicot fue uno de ellos. Después de que ____ arropara a los niños, un poco de hambre la llevó a husmear la cocina. Ahí se topó con Ben, y lo que empezó como una simple charla casual, pasó a un disimulado coqueteo mutuo. Uno que escaló enseguida a algo más, y terminó con ambos compartiendo un paseo nocturno... y luego una cama.

La mañana siguiente, ____ llevó al par de niños de vuelta a Winterfell. Pidió poder llevarlos a King's Landing en unos días, para compartir más tiempo juntos. Cregan aceptó sin problemas, y enseguida aconsejó algo que le costaría la mínima felicidad que estaba guardando en su ansioso corazón.

—Puedes llevarlos, y yo los recogeré cuando vaya a la ceremonia de selección.—

—Respecto a eso...—____ le indicó a los niños que se adelantaran—. No habrá selección. Se canceló.—

—¿por qué...?—

—Porque ya elegí.—Cregan suspiró con cierto alivio, pero en cuanto quiso acercarse, ella alzó la mano—. Benjicot Blackwood es mi prometido ahora.—lo miró con seriedad—. Tal parece que la gente de Riverlands tiene cierto encanto... ¿No te parece? El amor lo demuestran sin tapujos o limitaciones.—El hombre sintió un punzante dolor en el pecho.

—Dijiste que me darías una oportunidad...—

—Nunca prometí nada.—____ hizo un gran esfuerzo por no llorar—. Y la verdad, tampoco creía ser capaz de elegirte de nuevo... Te miro a la cara y solo... Recuerdo el hedor a vino... Y como el nombre de ella salía de tus labios.—ladeó la cabeza con cierta frustración—. Solo... Olvídalo. Tengamos buen trato por los pequeños, aún quiero ser su tutora.—

—Quieren que seas su madre, no una simple tutora.—

—... Fuiste tú quien me recalcaba una y otra vez que no lo era y nunca lo sería... ni madre ni digna de tu aprecio.—Sunfyre se inclinó ante la mujer, dejándola subir a su lomo—. Serán invitados de la boda... Si no quieres ir, al menos deja que ellos y Sarah asistan.—

—Lo nuestro podría haber funcionado, ____...—

—Tal vez sí, tal vez no... Pero ambos aprendimos algo de esto.—Cregan la miró expectante—. El amor o es blanco o es negro... Tú me diste un gris. Y por eso no funcionó... Ten una buena tarde.—

El dragón alzó vuelo finalmente. Y Cregan miró desde el suelo y por segunda vez como la mujer dejaba aquellas tierras que él tanto anhelaba ella considerara su hogar.

Cuando la boda llegó, Cregan asistió a King's Landing. Y al ver a la mujer en un hermoso vestido negro y rojo, sonriendo como nunca la había visto hacerlo, en brazos de un hombre que no desaprovechaba ni una sola oportunidad para abrazarla...

Entendió lo mucho que había perdido.

Y por tercera vez, se quedaba solo.

Esta vez por algo que fue completamente su culpa.

Finales alternos

[luvantanddec]

I have so many questions about this picture. Like was it Dec who took it? Or was it Sarah? Or maybe someone else. If it was Dec then the boys must be way closer than we all think because Ant isn’t even covering up or pushing him out or anything!

But anyway, He looks so confused bless him 😭x

[sash-au]

Delilah: Ant??? What do you see in him? I mean, he looks like the only white waiter at a Chinese restaurant

[senka-mesecine]

I feel like rhah is the type of guy to have the gnarliest double standards, he says over and over again that he’s disenchanted with women and that he’s fighting for his soul, and that women are jezebels and harlots out to get him, but at the same time when it comes to falling in love he’s as hopeless as a middle school boy with his first crush 😂

I’d kill to see that brought to life potentially with a nurse who treats him nicely for a SECOND and all of a sudden she has rhah bringing her little gifts and constantly showing up to pester her like a cat

The One Time Rhah Vermucci Fell in Love (And Everyone Had to Endure it).

Rhah Vermucci x Reader.

---

-"Bah! They're the gateway to hell!"-

He throws his head back, exasperated and holding court.

-"Been since the time Eve bit into the apple."-

Continuing, Rhah wags his finger, figuring these snot-nosed kids needed to hear this from someone who knew his elbow from his prick; needed to take it to heart, so if they ever rotated back to the world they wouldn't end up wrapped around the finger of the first malicious, insidious skirt that came walking by and batting her lashes at them, looking to collect those sweet vet benefits. They're all gathered around him and his makeshift throne made of filled sandbags, listening to the sermon. If anything, in another life, Rhah imagines himself being a preacher. Father Vermucci.

-"Because think about it! Open your collective third eye!"-

He taps the side of his head for special emphasis, eyes scanning everyone surrounding him, from Taylor, Big Harold, Crawford and an openly amused looking King. Well, he could be smug as he liked but it didn't make his words any less correct. -"They get together with assholes and produce even more assholes. Bring evil into the world! Spread it like a disease!"- He starts talking with his hands, smacking all of his five fingers against his thigh, the contact practically snapping. Taylor nearly jumps at the sound. Good, good. He needed to be jumpy. Means the lesson was settling into his bones, right where it belonged too. -"It's like a primordial black flame they protect and perpetuate. Half of the reason why we're in the mess we're in."- When Rhah really thought about it well enough, the war here was to be blamed on women in the first place; if they didn't go around giving birth to a bunch of demons from both sides, none of this would've happened. When he catches the boys sharing knowing, wordless glances like they were being quietly speculative, he decides to up the ante and give a concrete example; one close to home base. One they were all familiar with. -"I mean, someone had to go ahead and give birth to a Barnes. Ever think about that? No! Of course you don't! That's a scarlet woman's bit of handiwork right there."- He hisses, drawing in his breath sharply, lounging forward, until his spine was bent forward towards the pale faced mugs that seemed like they've just heard the scariest ghost story ever told; someone had to give birth to a Bunny. To a O'Neill. To a Wolfe. Someone gave birth to Victor Charlie as well. Someone brought that forth into the world. Someone did everyone that particular disservice.

And who was it?

Oh, yeah, right, a broad.

The usual suspect.

-"She got laid up with the horned one and Barnes is the end result! That's why he can't be killed! He's the devil's brood! Antichrist!"-

He keeps his voice deliberately low and hushed.

In the off chance the walls of the Underworld grew a pair of ears.

King rolls his eyes, chuckling, arms crossed over his chest.

Sure, laugh. Vermucci would see who gets the last laugh.

He'd see who gets the last laugh when it turns out that woman King's been writing the whole time, that Sarah or whatever her goddamn name was, turns out to have been porking someone else the entire time.

-"Rhah, bro, you're whack, man."-

His royal highness King shakes his head from the wooden poll he was leaning against.

The rest of the boys looked the way bugs look when you lift up a rock.

-"Maybe so."-

Rhah stands up, shaking his whole hand at King, index finger extended, deciding to stand his ground no matter how much he was mocked. Every prophet was initially considered insane in his own home village. John the Baptist even lost his head to a whore like Salome.

-"But, I'm also right."-

He stands face to face with King, throwing his whole chin out.

The man just laughs, his golden tooth reflecting the light of the surrounding candles.

Unexpectedly, Taylor. Taylor of all people speaks up.

-"Funny coming from a guy with an altar to Aphrodite next to where he sleeps."-

The kid half-grins causing King to burst out laughing with such a gusto his whole body bends forward with his hands grasping his knees for support, Rhah's mouth falling agape and his head whipping back to face the kid, travelling back and forth between the woman's statue surrounded by melted candles erected next to his bunk; he feels the accursed heat of the blood running into his cheeks overtaking his zeal.

-"Atta, Chris."-

King wheezes, congratulatory of this subversion and mutiny and fine, fine.

That's how it was then, huh?

Rhah's words of wisdom were totally lost on this crowd.

Let them all be deceived and lose their soul to the first pair of legs that walks by then.

None of his business. Ain't gonna fight anyone's battles for them.

He had his own soul to save.

But nobody can say he didn't warn them.

―

Two weeks later a stray bullet grazes his leg and Rhah finds he felt no pain.

In fact, laid up in the infirmary bed surrounded by a pack of groaning and moaning sinners complaining about every aching bone, limb and extremity, he was grinning like a man possessed the entire time. -"Twenty stitches, but it'll heal."- You explain softly and he was tempted to act like his condition was even worse than it actually was only for you to take a bigger interest in him. He was in deep. He was in deep. He was in deep. He nestles the back of his head comfortably into his pillow, adjusting himself there to get the best possible view of you and the stack of paperwork pressed against your chest. -"After a while, the scarring while fade and you won't even see where it was."- You reassure, like he wanted the scarring to disappear in the first place. Like he wouldn't have prefered to keep it forever as a memento. He unfurls his mouth even wide until he feels all of his teeth on display; you ascribed this as him being in shock and yeah, he was in shock. Sure, these broads all tended to be pretty because it was their natural predatorial tool meant to ensnare the gullible but you were more than just pretty. Was it just him or did you have a white aura around your head, hovering around you like a shimmering halo? -"Now, rest, please."- You instruct, briefly touching his shoulder with your fingers and he has to grab hold of them lightly, bringing them up to his lips. If this warranted him being up for Section 8. then so be it.

-"Madam."-

He's all breath and a raspy voice, fascinated, pressing a kiss to your knuckle.

His other free hand coiling into a fist, slamming his own chest.

Your wonderful, supple, graceful mouth falls agape.

The rose petals of Venus herself!

-"Right here! Right here is where they should've shot me."-

He whispers adamantly, thumb pointing at his own heart like someone hellbent on giving a vow, his throat still feeling raspy and guttural. Coming through hoarse, strained by his recovery --- all the dehydrating medication and pills he was pumped with when all the cure and healing ointment he needed was right in front of him; he supposed he understood that cherry Gardner right this very instant, rest his soul, going around showing his wallet and his girl in it to everyone. Momentarily, your shock fades as you stop trying to pull your fingers out of his grip and he spots the shadow of a half-smile as you turn your head, slightly flustered. Heavenly trumpets, rejoice! She smiles. He places your hand atop of his torso, covering it with his own, squeezing it steady there. They all could've been Jezebels, whores, harridans, gorgons, sorceresses, hussies and fallen women but every once in a while, like a diamond in a rough, a man could run into a true Archon --- you were sweet enough with him to be considered a saint, after all. He throws his chin out, facing you, staring at you head on, so you'd understand how much and how badly he meant this. Really meant this. -"The bullet should've ran deep, deeper, so it never fades."- Rhah assess firmly and you meet his eyes, the tension in your held hand relaxing along with your shoulders. You were allowing him to knead your sweet fingers, fully receptive.

He was in love.

―

-"Look at her! My angel, flung out of heaven!"-

The whole Underworld practically shakes with the sound of his voice and while admittedly, the first thing he went about doing was getting as high as a kite and showing off the photograph of yourself you've given him, it wasn't just the influence of quality Ganja that got him so euphoric; it's like the whole got painted over with new colors. Hell, Rhah didn't even mind that Taylor was merely feet away from him, talking about him. So!? Let him talk! Let them all talk. -"What's going on?"- He hears the kid ask, leaning over to King, all conspiratorial, ear to ear and cheek to cheek like the men who stabbed Julius Caesar. -"It's Rhah and some pretty lil' nurse. He's in deep. Been running his mouth about her for two hours and we all had to sit around and listen."- In equal measure, he hears precisely what King answers back, his mouth askew in a half-smile, scrutinizing him. Nah, he had to interject and correct that one, plating a hefty kiss to the surface of your picture. -"The most beautiful nurse alive and don't you forget it!"- If they had to, they'd listen to him rant about you for the remainder of their collective service tour out here or he wouldn't be called Rhah Vermucci. -"Don't know what chemicals they put in the water back at the hospital or if they did something to the grey matter in his brain but, fuck, brother returned a changed man."- This time around, King raises his voice, not maliciously, joviality and the casualness of a jokey aura surrounding him like a warm hue, but nonetheless, all Rhah could do is scoff and shake his head. They really didn't get it, did they? They won't laugh so much when it's their turn to be struck by Cupid's arrow. 'Specially Taylor. That one would get hit by the madness real hard and Rhah could tell just by looking at him.

-"Ain' no signs of him stopping yet either."-

Crawford obnoxiously cuts in from the other side of the bunker, snorting.

-"I thought he didn't like them very much? Women, I mean."-

Chris comments, clearly teasing.

Rhah was exasperated. Running his hand through his slick back.

When did college boy get so mouthy?

Was 'Fuck with Vermucci' a holiday all of a sudden?

-"The duality of man, Taylor, the duality of man."-

King clicks his tongue, entertained, giving him the stare.

They're all circling him like wild animals.

-"He's been hit by that thunderbolt."- He adds, all 'ooh's' and 'aah's'.

-"He's in love, brothers, and we'll have to endure it."-

King puts special emphasis on the word love them, dragging it out like stale chewing gum until it is undeniable that a taunt's a taunt, followed by a playful nudge in the shoulder; Rhah flinches back, rolling his eyes, sensing his own jaw locked up tight, tucking away your picture into the front pocket of his fatigues, right next to his heart, where you belonged. The candles surrounding his altar were all lit tonight, illuminating the Underworld, giving it a warm, golden hue. His soul feels lifted. Light. Like he was sent an angel to make it all right. Regardless, his words come up spiteful, goddamn nearly spitting. -"When your turn comes"- He addresses them all collectively, gruffly, pushing his jaw out, his ire fading momentarily even as he points an extended, threatening finger at each and every one of these mugs. -"you'll sing and shout it from the rooftops too! Yeah! That's right! Until then, you ain't know shit!"-

[mia-nina-lilly]

Bryce X Athalar is better than any ACoTaR couple

After finishing HOFAS, I couldn't help but think about the discrepancy between the dynamics of Bryce X Hunt, Rhysand X Feyre, and Cassian X Nesta. Bryce and Hunt are indeed ahead of the latter two – they are not a perfect couple, far from it actually, but their inconsistencies make them more real because real people make mistakes, real people have fears and desires, and sometimes, some of them are selfish. Bryce and Hunt, despite reflecting reality, are still fictional characters in a fictional plot – nothing less than the heroes of it, and therefore, if the author intends to keep them together, she must make them an example of a good relationship in the eyes of the readers, which indeed SJM did with them, making them support and protect each other, esteem and respect each other despite their difficulties.

However, the same did not happen with Feysand or Nessian. Truth be told, it seems like the author made an effort to hide the many imperfections that both ACoTaR couples possess. So far, since I had read this saga first, I thought Sarah J. was incapable of understanding what a healthy relationship was. After all, Feyre was not only sexually abused by Rhysand but also physically and psychologically tortured by him in the first book, besides having her choice regarding their baby stolen from her, and Cassian, who judged Tamlin so much, never volunteered to support Nesta if it meant going against the Inner Circle, besides, obviously, judging Nesta at every turn and serving as her jailer for much of ACoSF, almost never saying or doing anything to defend her from Rhysand's fury – things that, under no circumstances, should be an example for any reader, especially considering that most are young and may not have the necessary insight to understand that it is not good and should not be romanticized.

That is, reading CC3 was quite surprising. I expected that, given the subplot between Bryce and Hunt, and also given SJM's pattern and history, Hunt would end up taking some improper action towards Bryce. However, that was not what happened. If this means any turning point in the events of the next ACoTaR book, it's a very, very welcome development.

Bryce X Athalar é melhor que qualquer casal de ACoTaR

Após terminar HOFAS, fiquei pensando na discrepância existente entre a dinâmica Bryce X Hunt, Rhysand X Feyre e Cassian X Nestha. Bryce e Hunt de fato estão a frente dos últimos dois – eles não são um casal perfeito, longe disso aliás, mas esta ou aquela incongruência que possuem os torna mais reais, porque pessoas reais cometem erros, pessoas reais têm medos e desejos e, às vezes, alguns deles são egoístas. Bryce e Hunt, apesar de refletirem a realidade, ainda são personagens fictícios em uma trama fictícia – nada menos do que os heróis dela, e, portanto, se a autora pretende mantê-los juntos, deve fazê-los como um exemplo de bom relacionamento ante os olhos dos leitores, o que, de fato, SJM fez com eles, fazendo-os apoiar e proteger um ao outro, estimar e respeitar um ao outro apesar de suas dificuldades.

Todavia, o mesmo não aconteceu com Feysand ou Nessian. A bem da verdade, parece que a autora se esforçou para esconder as muitas e muitas imperfeições que ambos ambos os casais de ACoTaR possuem. Até o momento, como eu tinha lido esta saga primeiro, achei que Sarah J. fosse incapaz de entender o que era um relacionamento saudável. Afinal de contas, Feyre não apenas foi sexualmente abusada por Rhysand, como também foi física e psicologicamente torturada por ele no primeiro, fora ter roubado sua escolha em relação ao bebê deles, e Cassian, que tanto julgou Tamlin, nunca se prontificou a apoiar Nestha se isso significasse se colocar contra o Círculo Íntimo, além, obviamente, de julgar Nestha a todo e qualquer momento e servir como carcereiro para ela em boa parte de ACoSF, quase nunca dizendo ou fazendo algo para defendê-la da fúria de Rhysand – coisas que, sob hipótese alguma, deviam ser exemplo para algum leitor, ainda mais se levarmos em conta que a maioria são jovens que não têm a perspicácia necessária para entender que aquilo não é bom e tampouco deve ser romantizado.

Isto é, ler CC3 foi bastante surpreendentemente. Eu esperava que, dada a subtrama entre Bryce e Hunt, e também dado ao padrão e ao histórico de SJM, Hunt acabasse tomando alguma medida indevida em relação à Bryce. Porém, não foi o que aconteceu. Se isso significa alguma guinada nos eventos do próximo livro de ACoTaR, é muito, muito lucro

[notealotgoingon]

2023 Bullet Journal Cover & Lists

- movies - books - physical music stickers

(typed list below cut)

Movies

X (2022) ★★★★★ 1/9

Pearl (2022) ★★★★★ 1/10

Jason X (2001) ★★★ 1/17

X (2022) ★★★★★ 1/26

Pearl (2022) ★★★★★ 2/11

Rosemary's Baby (1968) ★★★★★ 2/11

Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine's Day Special (2023) ★★★★★ 2/12

Skinamarink (2022) ★★★★ 3/8

Re-Animator (1985) ★★★★ 3/12

Ring (1998) ★★★★★ 3/12

Ju-On: The Grudge (2002) ★★★★ 3/12

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) ★★★★ 4/2

Scary Movie (2000) ★★★ 4/3

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) ★★★★★ 4/5

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) ★★★★★ 4/18

Scary Movie 2 (2001) ★★★ 5/3

Scary Movie 3 (2003) ★★ 5/4

The Green Knight (2021) ★★★★★ 5/20

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022) ★★★★ 5/21

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023) ★★ 6/6

Evil Dead Rise (2023) ★★★★1/2 6/27

Nimona (2023) ★★★★ 7/2

Barbarian (2022) ★★★★ 7/6

Malignant (2021) ★★★★ 7/7

Barbie (2023) ★★★★★ 7/23

Scream VI (2023) ★★★1/2 8/1

Saw (2004) ★★★★ 8/1

Frozen (2010) ★★ 8/2

Resident Evil: Death Island (2023) ★★★★ 8/21

Studio 666 (2022) ★★★★ 9/4

The Exorcist (1973) ★★★★1/2 9/4

Saw II (2005) ★★★★ 9/9

Saw III (2006) ★★★1/2 9/9

Saw IV (2007) ★★★1/2 9/9

Saw V (2008) ★★★ 9/9

Saw VI (2009) ★★★ 9/9

Saw 3D (2010) ★★ 9/9

Jigsaw (2017) ★★★ 9/10

Miss Americana (2020) ★★★★ 9/10

Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021) ★★1/2 9/17

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) ★★★★1/2 9/24

Saw (2004) ★★★★1/2 9/25

Saw II (2005) ★★★★1/2 9/26

Dracula (1931) ★★★★ 10/1

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984) ★★★1/2 10/1

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985) ★★★★ 10/1\

House of 1000 Corpses (2003) ★★★★ 10/8

Friday the 13th (1980) ★★★★1/2 10/13

Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour (2023) ★★★★★ 10/19

Saw VI (2009) ★★★1/2 10/28

Saw 3D (2010) ★1/2 10/29

Saw X (2023) ★★★★1/2 11/6

Saw IV (2007) ★★★1/2 11/20

Saw X (2023) ★★★★1/2 11/20

Terrifier (2016) ★★★1/2 12/4

Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992) ★★ 12/4

Saw V (2008) ★★★1/2 12/4

Terrifier 2 (2022) ★★★1/2 12/11

The Green Knight (2021) ★★★★★ 12/18

Sonic Christmas Blast(1996) ★★1/2 12/22

Black Christmas (1974) ★★★★★ 12/23

Black Christmas (2006) ★★★1/2 12/24

Saltburn (2023) ★★★★ 12/29

Taylor Swift: Reputation Stadium Tour (2018) ★★★★★ 12/30

Books

The Ballad of Black Tom by Victor Lavalle 1/2

The Witcher: The Last Wish by Andrzej Sakowski 1/12

We Can Never Leave This Place by Eric Larocca 1/14

Causes and Cures in the Classroom by Margaret Searle 1/29

Vox Machina: Kith & Kin by Marieke Nijkamp 2/1

Black is the Body by Emily Bernard 2/4

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas 2/18

The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green 2/19

Black Klansman by Ron Stallworth 2/26

The Dark Tower V: Wolves of the Calla by Stephen King 3/7

Ring by Koji Suzuki 4/14

What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher 4/14

In the Time of the Butterflies by Julia Alvarez 5/8

Circe by Madeline Miller 5/19

When the Emperor Was Divine by Julie Otsuka 5/30

Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe 6/1

The Hellbound Heart by Clive Barker 6/25

The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson 6/28

The Lesbian Classics Get Me Off by Chuck Tingle 6/28

Icebreaker by Hannah Grace 7/5

Teacher of the Yearby M.A. Wardell 7/7

The Colorado Kid by Stephen King 7/17

This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone 7/31

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle 8/4

The Writing Revolution by Judith C. Hochman & Natalie Wexler 8/10

You Can Go Your Own Way by Eric Smith 8/20

Phasma by Delilah S. Dawson 9/12

Small Spaces by Katherine Arden 9/27

Reforged by Seth Haddon 10/8

Fifty Feet Down by Sophie Tanen 10/23

The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty 11/22

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett 12/2

Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade 12/7

Wildfire by Hannah Grace 12/5

Interview With the Vampire by Anne Rice 12/12

Tender is the Flesh by Augustina Bazterrica 12/19

A Prayer for the Crown-Shy by Becky Chambers 12/20

Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo 12/28

Stowaway and Silent Song by Vera Valentine 12/29

Physical Music Media:

(this isn't all of the records/CDs I've gotten or listened to this year, but I figured I'd decipher the stickers I put in the book; these are all of the promo stickers on the outside of the plastic wrapping on the releases)

Beat the Champ - the Mountain Goats

Paradise - Lana del Ray

Red (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift

What's it Like? - Sure Sure

Did You Know There's A Tunnel Under Ocean Boulevard? - Lana del Ray

Stick Season - Noah Kahan

The Rest - boygenius

Midnights (Late Night Edition) - Taylor Swift

Raving Ghost - Olivia Jean

The Record - boygenius

Speak Now (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift

Dark in Here - the Mountain Goats

Bangerz (10th Anniversary Edition) - Miley Cyrus

God Games - the Kills

1989 (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift

[sssigil]

Hi can I request Ethan x fem reader.The reader loves Ethan but he is dating this other girl.The other girl treats him wrong but he to blind to see.The core four comes up with a plan to break them up and get ethan with the reader.(Thanks)

She

Ty 4 this request love I really appreciate it <333 if you guys want something written always feel free to request hehe ^_*

Warnings: mentions of cheating (cheaters suck), core 4 calls reader bub, core 4 literally love you, Ethan calls you bun/bunny, angel/angel face, gets a little steamy at the end but nothing explicit.

These past few weeks had been a burden for you and the core four. Ever since Ethan had gotten together with that girl you don't even know the name of, I mean he never introduced her and doesn't even hang out with you guys. You rarely seen him around.

It hurt it really fucking hurt when Chad told you Ethan was seeing someone and he hated seeing you like this. They knew you liked Ethan ever since you both met, I mean you couldn't help it. He had the prettiest face that came with the cutest pair of puppy dog eyes with the softest brown curls and he's so tall and so, so fucking strong. It made your brain melt at the thought of him you just wanted him.

You believed that he knew, it felt as if he also liked you back. He would always hold your hand going to classes and he always helped you with those classes, he would never leave you with out saying goodbye with a forehead kiss. Ethan would talk to you as if you were the most delicate thing always making sure you were comfortable anywhere you guys went. His hands always rubbed at your knee or thigh calming you down, cuddling you when you felt sad and always taking care of you when you had your bad days. He just was always there.

You were dumb enough to think he liked you and would choose you, but no, he choose a girl who didn't even care for him. Every time you saw her she wasn't with him she was with some dude who she called her 'best friend' hand and hand with him they were always all up on each other. You tried to tell Ethan but he just blew you off telling you "Don't be stupid you're seeing shit stop trying to ruin my relationship" Ethan was getting brainwashed by this girl and he didn't even notice.

"Im telling you guys E is getting played and he doesn't even realize it" you told your friends who came rushing to your dorm when you told them you needed help.

"you're telling me this 'emergency' is Ethan getting cheated on" Mindy spoke up first quoting the emergency. "guys please help me, you know you secretly care for him" you whined at them plopping down on your bed. "Chad please your his roommate, pretty please" you rambled even more now sitting up from your bed facing Chad lightly punching him on his chest.

"I mean guys Ethans too stupid to even realize this, sorry bub" he spoke apologizing when he called Ethan stupid. "See chads with me please tara Mindy, please please please" you begged now dropping to your knees begging the girls "Fine. fuck you're lucky we love you" Mindy spoke lifting you up to your feet.

"yea and like we all thought it was gonna be you and him ever since you guys met, you guys were like all lovey dovey and shit it was gross but cute but really really gross" spoke tara putting her arm around your shoulder pulling you out your dorm, behind you two the wrest of the twins followed behind.

That whole week Chad had been taking photos for proof anytime he had the chance. He had scored a picture of Sarah kissing her so called best friend. Of course he made sure she got her face there's no way Ethan could deny it, even if this hurt him he had to know. No way he was gonna let Ethan get played by this girl, not when he already had you, you guys are perfect for each other.

Mindy had tried to talk to Ethan about you. She would ask, him things like Don't you miss her? I thought you guys were planning to watch ant man? What happened between both you guys? why aren't you close anymore? I thought you liked her e? Now that one threw him off. He didn't like that one, how could she ask him that while he was already in a happy and 'healthy' relationship. That ended the conversation with him telling her how he had to go, but that last question had him up all night.

Tara had managed to befriend Sarah. She had her in one of her classes, she sat right by her using her friendly manners to coax her into a slight friendship and boom. She spilled everything. Told her how she was only dating Ethan for the purpose to get back with her ex. She called him needy nerdy and annoying the only good thing about him was his looks and his muscles. She never wanted to punch someone so bad. Yea she didn't really like Ethan but she loved you. She wanted to see you happy and Ethan made you happy, you deserved that.

Once all of them got this information they had to do the hardest part. Tell Ethan.

"how are we gonna do this again" asked Chad looking at his sister who had already explained how it was gonna go down. "I swear to fucking god. We get him here by telling him how our sweet bub here is very sick and doesn't want to talk to any of us, I mean there's no way he won't come right" Mindy questioned everyone petting your head as you nod.

"I hope so" you spoke in a small voice, you really didn't want to see how hurt he was gonna be but you knew it had to be done. You cared for him and you knew your friends only did all this for you so there's no backing up now that all of the work had been done.

"ok I texted him" Chad yelled making you look up fast in a panic. "Wait were doing this now" you spoke loud making every one look at you "Bub it has to be done now, its Saturday night there's no way he's busy right now" tara told you caressing your hair making you relax.

And he indeed did not ignore that message. He got up immediately once he saw chads message, see he still cared for you. He knew how you got when you got really sick it was always him who knew what to do so he just HAD to be there. Taking his coat off the rack and putting it on along with his shoes rushing out his dorm and making his way to yours. He walked no ran to your dorm, he had to know you were alright, he couldn't stand you being alone all by yourself hurting, he just couldn't.

"BUN! you okay in there? I brought you some chocolate please open the door" Ethan yelled knocking on your door. He expected to see your tired sad eyes but instead was greeted with Mindy who was smiling. ''Hey E" she spoke laughing awkwardly "Come in" she said pulling him in by his sleeve.

"What's going on? where is she?'' he spoke looking for you, face softening when he saw you sitting criss cross on your bed head low fiddling with your fingers.

"We brought you here to prove to you that we were right, and we don't want to see you get hurt anymore" Chad told him showing him the pictures he took and the screenshots of the convo between tara and Sarah making sure to show the phone number. He stood there blank stare looking at the images and messages. Mouth agape, opening and closing like a fish, one of his hands went to rub his temple looking at all your faces then back to the phone.

"Fuck, you see I knew it was happening but fuck. That's fucked up." Ethan spoke laughing softly. He felt betrayed but at the same time he felt relief. He didn't like her, yea at the beginning he did it was cool or whatever but towards the end he felt drained, he didn't like it. He never liked her, he finally felt his mind start to clear up. Of course the question Mindy had asked a while ago still lingering in his mind this whole time and he finally knew the answer.

"Uh can I, can you guys please leave" Ethan asked not expecting a no as he turned around to open your door standing to the side. They all agreed getting up making there way out the door, Mindy turned to look at you winking before leaving the room closing the door behind her.

"I'm sorry E but I warned you I told you and you didn't listen" you said looking up at him hands still in your lap but you were now sitting up on your knees. Hand reaching out to grab his big hand into your small ones. "I know bun, I'm sorry for not listening" you felt relief at his words, no longer feeling burden.

"Should had listen to you, should always listen to you angel. You're too good for me" he spoke softly at you hand leaving yours as he went to touch your soft cheek settling himself on your bed pulling you to his lap, you felt him get closer now that you sat on him. Eyes looking deep into yours and you could feel his breath on your lips. His minty vanilla smell was the only thing you could smell. You could feel your eyes slowly began to open and close the closer he got. And finally you felt it, You felt his lips on yours and you heard him groan softly at the taste of your mouth, tongue playing with yours, mouth moving slow but sloppy taking in everything you gave him. You felt the hand on your cheek move to the back of your head pulling you even closer to him. He loved this he wanted to stay like this forever.

"E cant- can't breath" you told him through each kiss he could hear how out of breath you were so he let go with one last kiss, kissing your cheek then your jawline then your neck leaving a trail of soft wet kisses, you didn't even notice how you started to rock your hips on his lap but he did and he loved it, he loved how needy you got at his actions helping you rock into him even more. He finally stopped his kisses on your collarbone biting you softly making you whine. Laughing at the noise you made opening his eyes to look at your dazed face.

"Damn bunny we make out for a little and you already looked fucked stupid" he teased you making you giggle at his words punching his shoulder, but you did look a little stupid. Your cheeks were red and so were your lips, they had a little drool on them too your hair was a little messy from his hands and you were breathing a little too loud.

"Can't help it you're really good at making me feel that way" you giggled even more looking at him hand on his cheek urging him closer to you to have him kiss you again just like he had before.

"wait does this mean you like me back" you said abruptly stoping the kiss.

"Yes angel face I like you so so so much don't be a dummy" he spoke laughing at your cluelessness pushing you to your back and kissing you once again.