#answered by Tadanobu

[laiqualaurelote]

rules: answer and tag people you want to get to know better and/or catch up with!

tagged by @nix-nihili thank you!

favourite colour: Majorelle Blue, which is the colour of Yves Saint Laurent's house in Marrakesh

last song: HOT TO GO by Chappell Roan

last movie: To Have and Have Not (1944), which I've been wanting to watch for ages based on reports of the Bogie/Bacall chemistry and let me tell you those two did not disappoint.

currently reading: A Thousand Plateaus by Gilles Deleuze and Félix Guattari; Daughter of Calamity by Rosalie M. Lin; The Mushroom at the End of the World by Anna Tsing

currently watching: I've just finished Shōgun and have been blown away by the silver foxiness of Hiroyuki Sanada and the poetic grace of Anna Sawai (but also I just want a million memes of Tadanobu Asano complaining about Christians)

currently craving: butter corn donabe (I just had it but I want it again?)

tea or coffee: coffee coffee coffee

tagging: honestly everyone seems to have been tagged already but whoever would like to do this I reckon!

[goodsirbeasts]

tagged by the ever lovely @zaegreus, here we go!!

do you make your bed? I used to as a kid, mostly because my mom made me lol. But when I reached my teens I gave up - no one but me is seeing it anyway!

what’s your favourite number? I've always had an affinity for 4, though couldn't say why. I've always associated it with the color purple as well.

what is your job? assistant manager at a shoe store 🤷‍♀️ it's not bad but man do the customers get on my nerves

if you could go back to school would you? absolutely not. I'm 37 and still have nightmares about being late for class or forgetting to show up. I liked college but I'm not capable of that level of homework anymore.

can you parallel park? never learned how to drive LOL

a job you had that would surprise people? janitor I guess?? I actually liked it a lot though. We'd clean the local museum, so I got to see some art, and then we'd drive all the way up into the hills to clean the wind turbine research center.

do you think aliens are real? I hope they are, and I also hope they stay the fuck away from humans cause we are NOT going to treat them well.

can you drive a manual car? don't drive don't like cars~

what’s your guilty pleasure? I don't rly believe in guilty pleasures ...

tattoos? two at the moment; one of Sailor Saturn on my left forearm, and one of a lily of the valley with lil skulls in place of the buds on my right ankle.

favourite colour? any shade of purple, teal, baby pink, chartreuse.

favourite type of music? literally anything and everything! that being said I tend to gravitate more towards electro.

do you like puzzles? like, jigsaw puzzles? haven't done one in years but they're okay. puzzles in general? yes! I love figuring things out lol.

any phobias? not fond of large spiders but I always try to capture and release them outside. I'm also a lil nervous around any animal bigger than I am. deep water wigs me the fuck out. if I ever got any sort of parasite my soul would leave my body.

favourite childhood sport? volleyball and tennis! I loved playing those, and was fairly good at them :3

do you talk to yourself? oh definitely. not a lot but usually when I'm doing an annoying task or playing video games.

what movie(s) do you adore? favourite movies are:

1. Only God Forgives. Most films by Refn leave me very cold but something about this one is just my jam. The music, the acting, the story, Vithaya Pansringarm beating the shit out of Ryan Gosling - immaculate.

2. Ravenous. Caught this one randomly one night on IFC when I was younger. Couldn't believe I've never heard of it as it has both Guy Pearce AND Robert Carlyle, two of my fave actors. Anyway it was life changing and I'll never recover.

3. Suspiria (2018). I like the original as well but man. MAN. Everything about Guadagnino's version was made specifically for me.

4. Taboo (Gohatto). Accidentally came across this one when I was def too young to watch it lmao. I was going through a samurai phase and so naturally I was like oh cool, and they're gay? Sign me up! Let me tell ya, this one is a doozy. Basically it's about a bunch of samurai vying for the affections of a beautiful youth who also happens to be a full on sociopath (affectionate), and it does Not End Well. Also has Tadanobu Asano and Takeshi Kitano, who are awesome as usual.

coffee or tea? I like both but coffee is just SO GOOD.

first thing you wanted to be growing up? earliest thing I can remember wanting to be was an FBI agent? I was very into the X-Files as a kid and thought it would be a great job haha.

Not sure who to tag for these fjkskdkskkskd gonna go with my besties @porternash and @iwantoseeafrigatebird cause I'd personally love to read your answers :3

[otomehostclub]

Hi. My name is Mitzi. I was wondering if Hiroshi or Nomura is available? I know they are always working but I really want to talk to one of them. Recently, I blew up at my friends because I was going one of my depressive days. I have recovered since then and asked forgiveness from my friends. But I feel more isolated than ever. I know it takes times for them to forgive but now I feel like I should just disappear permanently. It took a lot for me to vulnerable and I understand that they

(cont Mitzi) just setting boundaries. I would have reacted the same as they did. But it’s painful like this and I don’t know how to weather through it. What if I destroyed our friendship with that one incident? I hate myself from being depressed and so I pretend a lot around people. I feel so stupid being vulnerable.

“Hello, hello~” Nomura called out, as he and Kirisawa entered the lobby.

“Hello, Mitzi,” Kirisawa greeted. “Sorry for the wait.”

After escorting you to the table and seated, the MPD officials sat down across from you.

“So, Mitzi,” Normura began. “What’s bothering you? How can we help?”

As Kirisawa poured tea for everyone you hesitantly explained your situation, afraid of getting laughed at in the end.

Nomura reached out and gave your hand a reassuring pat. “That is the ugly sludge of depression making you think that way. Your friends sound like they understand and have already forgiven you. But…you need to forgive yourself.”

Kirisawa nodded, adding, “Your friends are most likely making sure you are not put in that same situation where you blew up. That’s why it seems like you’re isolated. However, talk to them candidly. Thank them for having put up with that incident. Tell them that it’s okay to treat you as they had been before this depression monster came into your life.”

“Hiding behind a mask of normalcy is fairly common,” Nomura sighed. “I would recommend finding someone who is better trained to counsel you through your situation on a confidential level.  A licensed psychotherapist would be ideal, but there are other types of people who can also help.”

“If you are still in school,” Kirisawa continued, “the school nurse’s office should have someone who can sit and talk to you or can refer you to someone qualified. Don’t think you need to fight this alone. Again, depression enjoys tearing up what happiness you have. There’s no weakness in seeking help. It actually shows just how strong you are.”

Admin Tyg: Hi Mitzi, I’ve been fighting clinical depression for the past 3-4 years. My doctor was the one to refer me to both a psychologist and psychotherapist, both of whom I still see to this day. My situation that lead me to this was deep rooted and made worse by repressing my words and feelings for years. Most of my interaction is with the therapist. Talking things out has helped me immensely (I also am on antidepressants, but that helps me to function normally. Doesn’t stop my brain from still messing with me occasionally).

Admin Helena: Hello from me too Mitzi. Popped in for some advice as well. I am also someone struggling with depression on and off for the past 8 years. I find it immensely hard to get out of the black sludge pool of it, especially lately. But a good friend a while back offered me something that helped. She suggested I make lists. Of people I am grateful for and of things I am grateful for. Every day. I wish I could say I kept it but I haven’t managed to. However I still manage to find at least 3 things a day I am grateful for. A good latte,a nice song,the sun shining in my neighborhood park. I know how hard it is. But give it a try. It just might help you like it helped me. 

[otomehostclub]

Hi, Nomura and Kirisawa, it's Cassie again. Things still haven't changed in my situation with my ex, but I'm doing whatever I can. I've been trying to sell everything I can to break even, but I feel like I'm just running my head into a wall. I can only work so much, and I can't take a night job since I'd have to pay someone to watch my kids. I just feel so frustrated you know? But talking with you two makes me feel so much better, so I just wanted to thank you so much for always listening.

“Cassie! So good to see you again,” Nomura smiled, as he and Kirisawa met with you outside in the gardens.

“It’s a shame that you’ve resorted to selling your possessions in order to stay afloat,” Kirisawa frowned, “But you’re incredibly strong. I hope that you’ve gotten in contact with the Child Support Enforcement Agency we referred you to last time.”

Nomura nodded, his expression turning more serious. “Children shouldn’t have to suffer because of the actions of some adults, but please, feel free to come back to chat with us and keep us updated with what’s going on.”

“Yes, please do,” Kirisawa agreed. “Even if there's no real update, it puts us more at ease with knowing how you’re doing.”

[otomehostclub]

Can I speak to Kirisawa and Nomura please? My name is Cassie, and I'm in a difficult position right now. My ex husband has suddenly stopped paying his child support and won't answer texts or phone calls. Without the money, I don't know what I'm supposed to do to provide for my children. He's recently gotten a new family, and it's like he doesn't care about our kids anymore. I'm heartbroken and angry, but I'm so tired. I cry more than I care to admit to, and it just feels like I'm drowning.

You were led to a small corner table by a different host, who had explained that your requested hosts were running late and to make sure that you were given a table instead of waiting out in the slightly drafty waiting area.  It was also raining and they wanted to make sure you were as comfortable as possible.

You politely declined the offer from the other host to keep you company while you waited.  He looked like a teenager, and you didn’t want to burden him with this particular problem.  After making sure that you had tea and pastries, the host reluctantly left you to assist the others in the cafe.

Sipping your tea you looked around the cafe, seeing others like yourself chatting with other hosts. Some were seated near the center aquarium, others were seated in other areas of the cafe, each given plenty of space apart from each other.  In the distance you could see the large bay windows that led to the back garden. No one was using that area due to the rain.

A half hour later, two men approached your table. “Hello, Hello, Hello,” Nomura greeted, flashing his trademark grin.

“Hello, Cassie,” Kirisawa smiled, “Sorry we’re late.”  He and Nomura took a seat on either side of you. “How can we help?”

You nodded and explained what your situation was to the two men. Both of their jaws clenched in anger as you related how your ex stopped paying child support.

Nomura reached out and held your hand. “You shouldn’t have to feel this way,” he replied. “What you need to do is to go the agencies that handle child support and get help from them.  You have the law on your side. Let them help you get your ex to know that this isn’t something to scoff at.”

Kirisawa, in the meantime, had been looking up something on his phone.  He then took out his memo pad and jotted down a website address. “This is the site of the National Child Support Enforcement Association,” he explained, handing you the paper. “It lists the contact information for every state, as well as, international agencies. Get in touch with the agency nearest your location.”

Nomura nodded. “Just because he left you, does not mean that you must deal with this alone. If he still refuses to cooperate and continue paying child support, they can get his employer to begin garnishing his wages to satisfy the child support.”

“You’re a strong woman,” Kirisawa said. “But no matter how strong a person is, seeking help doesn’t make you weaker. Stay strong, Cassie, and let us know how things went if you can.”

[otomehostclub]

Hi it's M again... I’m requesting Baba and Nomura. I feel a little embarrassed by showing up here again with me problems. But I think my stress levels are just off the charts. I just handle everything at the moment. I feel like I’m drowning in everything. From the general pressure of the waiting game of hearing back from colleges to the smallest projects I must handle. Oh how the words spill from the world’s mouth, I peer into my future wondering if something good awaits me. (M ½)

The taste of such stress does not push me over to committee to the worst thing possible, it makes me want time to stop and not continue forward for the future. I want to do something with my life, but with colleges not saying anything for the longest time ever, makes feel like no one wants me, and the pressure of the words of my sister and mom saying I don’t try, that I gave up. M 2/5

Hurts. I do try, but hurts when some people never call you back. I don’t want to hear all of that, because it makes me cry, because I’m just having this stressful month. (M 3/5)

I just want to hear that everything will be alright instead the pressure eating me away, I’ve never had so much stress before in my whole life. My sister, the rock of my life, and who paid the most attention to me, is leaving for a trip the 14, and this will be the third time she’s done this, and the worst part is she’ll miss my graduation, but not because she wanted to, but her plane will arrive late. (m 4/5)

I’m getting up over every little thing, and I just don’t care about other people right now. I know I’m standoff-ish, and I’ve had bad experience with people mishandling my kindness, but I know I’m being harder than I should be. I just want to cry, but no one will find the right words to help me out. (m 5/5) (long than I expected)

Nomura entered the waiting area and smiled at you. “Hello, lovely M, my name is Tadanobu Nomura and I will be one of your hosts today.” He held out his hand for you to take. “My co-host should be already at the table getting things set up for us.”

After you placed your hand on his, Nomura held it firmly but gently, leading you inside the cafe.  Quickly scanning the cafe, he found his co-host humming to himself as he put the finishing touches on the table they will be sharing with you.

“Lovely Princess,” Baba greeted, offering you a single red rose as he motioned for you to sit down. “I am Mitsunari Baba. But you can call me Baba.. or Micchy.”

Nomura chuckled at his co-host, as he poured tea for the three of them. Along with the tea, Baba had set out a tray of miniature cupcakes.  “Please help yourself,” Nomura said, sitting down across from M.

“What’s bothering you, Pretty Lady?” Baba asked,

As they listened to your story, both men frowned. Each were appalled at how much stress teenagers had on their plate these days.

“That’s a lot for someone so young to be hit with at one time,” Nomura said. “I can understand why you feel that you are stressed to the limit.” He stroked his goatee  as he thought about something. “Excuse me a second, I’m going to see if I can get someone who can help you alleviate some concerns about college admissions.” Nomura stepped away from the table and called Kirisawa to have Tyg come over to help him with a topic.  After hanging up, Nomura returned to see that Baba had moved his seat closer to you.

Baba lifts one hand and pets your head gently. “First and foremost, don’t ever think you’re being a bother. We’re here to help, and happy to do so.”

Nomura chuckled and sat back down. “Tyg will be joining us in a moment. She worked in that field before somehow getting a job in 2nd Unit. I strongly think she’ll be able to reassure you about the whole college admissions.

A few moments later Tyg comes bursting into the Cafe, huffing and puffing, having ran from MPD headquarters.  One of the other Hosts steadied her while another got her some water.  After she caught her breath, she made her way over to the table.

“Ah Tyg, sorry for this,” Nomura said, explaining again what he needed Tyg to reassure M about.

Tyg nodded in understanding, pulling out a chair and sitting down at the table. “Hi, M, I’m going to give you a little “insider information” regarding college admissions. I, myself, worked in College Admissions for almost eleven years (although I was part of the Graduate Admissions area, Undergraduate Admissions was next to us).  Anyway… colleges get bombarded with hundreds to thousands of applications each admission cycle (Fall semester applications being the highest).  So while we are struggling to process as fast as we can, we also must try to answer any inquiries of application status.“ Tyg paused to clear her throat. She wasn’t one to talk much, but when help was needed she would do it.  

Swiping Nomura’s cup of tea, Tyg downed it before continuing. “Most likely the reason you haven’t gotten an answer or if no one is picking up the phone, is because of sheer volume. I’m not making any excuses for anyone, but having been on the other side, I can assure you that your application matters as much as any other applicant.  I hate waiting for answers myself, but depending on how the college reviews application, it could be either just at the admissions level or with a Departmental committee for specialized majors (like art or music).”

Tyg paused again to contemplate what else to tell M. “Take time to breathe, stretch, distract yourself with other things and soon enough you should be hearing back from the colleges you’ve applied to. Also, if you applied online, be sure to check your spam box. More often than not, emails from universities are mistakenly shunted into spam. Lastly, if your Mom or sister still pressure you about why you haven’t heard back from colleges, please share with them what I’ve mentioned here.”

Baba takes one of your hands in his.  “I understand how hard it is to relax when you have so many external pressures that feel like they’re crushing you.  When you’re feeling overwhelmed, I want you to remember to breathe. First, take a long, slow, deep breath, in through your nose. Make sure to fill your belly with air first, then your lungs. Hold your breath to the count of three. Let your breath out very slowly, and try to focus on relaxing your facial muscles, your jaw, neck and shoulders.  Repeat it a few times. I like to close my eyes and imagine I’m in a relaxing place and stretch my arms, too.”

Tyg rolled her eyes at Baba’s cheesiness, before standing up. “Sorry, I gotta get back to MPD. But please take what I told you to heart.” Tyg walked over to you and gave you a light hug before leaving. “Bye guys.”

Nomura chuckled a bit as he pours some more tea into your cup.  He stopped and turned serious as he thought about the other issues bothering you. “I’m under the impression that your sister is older than you? The traveling is something she does, and if it’s out of her control, I’m sure it is upsetting to her as well as you, that she is missing your graduation.  If she’s arriving late, she may have missed the ceremony but there’s still the opportunity to go to dinner afterwards?”

Baba nods in agreement.  “It sounds as though your sister would be there if she could. Sometimes you need to just worry about yourself. It’s easy to let day-to-day life drain us of everything, and we have to be careful. Seems as though you’ve reached the point that you need to step back and engage in some aggressive self care. Go ahead and cry when you feel like it. Lie on your bed and scream and kick, just be careful not to hurt yourself.  It’s difficult when people we trust abuse our kindness, and when that happens, you are well within your rights to put up walls.  Believe me when I say that the people who truly love and care for you won’t mind you taking a step back to care for yourself. The only people that will mind will be those who only want to be around for what they can get from you, and you’re better off without those people anyway.”

He reaches into a pocket and pulls out an oversized deck of cards and shuffles them, then lays them out on the table.  “Choose one, Princess, and turn it over.”

The picture on the card was an angel, wings spread, the sun rising behind her, and a rainbow over her head.

“Ah, you’ve drawn the card ‘Temperance’. This card indicates that you need to learn to bring balance and patience into your life. But it’s also a very positive card. Take a hard look at everything going on in your life. What things can you set aside? Leave those things that you have no control over - like waiting to hear from colleges, as Admin Tyg explained.  Of those things that you do have control over, examine them critically to decide their order of importance and work from there. All of your hard work will pay off, but it won’t be worth it if you’re too sick and stressed to enjoy the fruits of your labors.”

He pressed a gentle kiss to your temple and handed you the card. “Keep this, as a reminder.”