#another group that puts out decent design concepts almost all the time during these times would be tbz

[littlecafe]

!!definitely, no company operates independently if 80 something percent of it is owned by a parent company, its just basic business. and they just released a shoot video for their next boygroup trainees? the timing is just very off

oh ya i agree completely the graphics have significantly downgraded since merging, nuests last album cover was so weird (but at least there was more effort in those teasers) and it was the same with their merch too...and now this one its just black text and pixelated numbers fdhsks

i saw theories this album was supposed to be for april...but now its a a disbandment album. even the concept to me doesnt match what a goodbye album would look like from them? the blank white previews really do make it clearer that they werent ready :(

ahh youre not wrong the two who resigned had the most schedules going on as of recent, so it made sense to me at first when they said the other three didnt sign...

(thanks for ranting w me i appreciate being able to talk about it >< ♥)

exactly!! i honestly can't believe there are people that don't see or understand that, even if this is kpop it's business and business runs the same everywhere

did they really??? a new boy group...wow.....oh wait i just searched it up i've seen this group mentioned before didn't they have a show or something i remember seeing some lyrics controversy but i won't derail this anymore lol but the timing sure is...something even if it's just a coincidence it's still rubbing some salt into the wounds....

even before the merger pledis has always been lazy with design lmao either that or they just don't budget a lot for it if they're paying someone for these (but what else is new, pledis is cheap) which reminds me of a nancy unboxing i watched a while back (i had to go find it, linked to timestamp), she mentioned that a fan found out one of svt's album color version was literally a direct inverse(?) of another one aka there was zero thought being put into color scheme....

i honestly try to erase romanticize's design choice out of my head like i gasped the first time i saw their teasers come out with that pls sakjhfdksfhs it was so ugly but i feel like another group had some similar design with some atrocious font spacing but i can't remember now i can only think of svt's the ode album but that "minimalistic" design would be more in line with what they did for nu'est the nocturne album which were also both......an interesting take on minimalism, font focused design (nct did something similar with their regular irregular era posters which i found much cuter)

honestly with pledis designs there's no vision which makes them pretty unmemorable, they're lucky the boys are pretty enough to make it work lmao their best work for me would be happily ever after album along with the website they made for it

yea...i've seen people suspecting the 10 year anniversary promos were supposed to lead up to the new album in april, it's so obvious this album was still in the works and got repurposed to be a goodbye album bc you're right the concept just doesn't make sense at all and they virtually have no design shdsfsdfdsf looking at the listed album goods too it's like nonexistent compared to any of their other album releases, they were really not ready to put this out

ugh...ok i thought so....this is 100% my cynical side speaking now that i've had more time to sit on it but i really don't like how they somehow managed to keep those with higher amounts of individual schedule (and possibly individual appeal) while the others just magically decide not to renew, sounds like someone was trying to min max profits, since despite nu'est doing well in korea, there's no doubt that managing 2 successful solo acts will be easier and less costly than kpop group promotions

also i was just so shocked jr would be one of the ones to not sign like maybe i'm delusional but that was like..did i read this wrong?? i just don't believe if he was given a proper chance to stay as nu'est that he would refuse that

but yes ofc!! it's nice to have someone to talk it out with since the situation got so ridiculous so fast, we all went from shocked and sad to collective frustration practically overnight lol

[johnkrrasinski]

𝐄𝐱𝐢𝐥𝐞

Chapter 2: Those Eyes Add Insult to Injury

full masterlist // series masterlist // commission open // support my work

Pairings: Dark!Steve Rogers (in future chapters) x Reader

Word Count: 2,554

Summary: Steve Rogers; a Hollywood A-lister and your clandestine occasional hookup. Best friends since childhood, but people change and friendships fall out. Now you were merely strangers with benefits. What happens when one day you stopped being his doormat to be a better man’s queen? The selfish Steve Rogers would not like it. How far is he willing to go to get his favorite possession back?

Warnings: smut, non-con/dub-con, dark Steve (in later chapter), angst, Steve Rogers is an asshole in this one, no redeeming qualities. (MUST BE 18+)

A/N: this series is dedicated to the lovely @belovedcherry​​ who commissioned this story and developed the concept. thank you for being a friend when i truly needed it. i’m really glad that you trusted me to write this story for you. with all my heart, i sincerely hope you like it. this series will be updated everyday, there will be 4 more chapters ahead.

Several years had passed since you graduated. You and Wanda remained close despite the bustle of life would get in the way sometimes. She got accepted in Yale University and she chose to study Psychology. Maybe that’s why she and you got along so well. You both were humanitarians at hearts.

College was a lot more fun than high school but that also meant the bigger pressure would come along in one package. Nothing that you didn’t expect. You went into social study major to groom yourself for the future you had set for yourself. Life went along as methodically as you originally designed.

But fate was a comical thing sometimes. When it has settled its decision to place two people who have such a rich history in their past together, it would be inevitable and inescapable one way or another.

The past couple of years of high school, you and Steve were practically strangers who went to the same school. He never greeted or talked to you anymore in class and he abandoned every ritual you had in the good old days. He stopped calling or texting, he stopped answering and he stopped coming over.

He just… stopped knowing you.

There wasn’t a day that passed by without you pondering about where did it all go wrong? How did the fair-headed friendship that bloomed like the flowers in spring slip away as briskly as a bottle of wine? A million questions rushed through your nostalgic head and as the season changed, the gap between you and Steve kept extending wider and wider.

You didn’t even know whether he really went to college or not. Or perhaps, he decided to go straight into auditions and found himself a good agent who was willing to manage his career. You still remember when he was so eager to do whatever it takes to study in NYU but you assumed that things had changed since then. He was a different person, after all, maybe he had new plans to pursue his dreams. But of course, life deprecated its surprises being spoiled.

Who would’ve warned you that you would get accepted to New York University as well as Steve?

You didn’t know until you ran into him at a sorority party that you were reluctant to go at first because you were never that much of a party gal, but your roommate, Natasha coerced you to.

Natasha was a kind person but she could also be a little bold than you were used to. You were grateful that she was your roommate though, you were a little worried that you might have to live with someone who was mean or untidy, everything that Natasha was not. You could imagine the relief when you learned how organized and sensible Natasha was. You had a feeling that the friendship you and Natasha had was going to last a lifetime.

“My sweet girl, y/n, I love you but you really gotta put yourself out there, okay? Forget that motherfucker Steve Rogers. He ain’t shit. If you go to the party with me, you might actually find yourself a decent guy who’s a lot cuter than him and who will treat you right. Because if he doesn’t then I’m gonna kick his ass and he will think twice before cheating on you.”

“I’m not looking for a boyfriend, Nat. Besides, I don’t care about Steve anymore,” you lied. “It’s not even about him, I’m just simply not much of a partier.”

“Bullshit. You are now. Let’s go. I won’t hear any more excuses.”

So you had no other choice but to put on a simple dress and went to the party with Nat. There was no saying no to her when she had made up her mind. Plus, you thought it would be a good idea to familiarize yourself with the vicinity and your potential classmates.

You also wrote a new resolution in your invisible diary that you were going to expand your connection in college and socialize more. You were only really friends with Wanda back in high school. You also shared a few classes with Pete Parker who was nice and smart, despite being a little gauche sometimes and you would often talk to him but that was it.

You also lost your childhood best friend who knew you better than anyone else before Wanda did. It truly deteriorated your trust issues and that’s why it was difficult for you to insert yourself in social situations and just effortlessly talk with any stranger.

You stood in the corner with a red plastic cup in your hand that was still almost full of beer. You didn’t drink either so you had no idea why you even bothered holding it. Maybe it gave you a sense of comfort that you wouldn’t be totally alone in this party.

Natasha had asked you to dance but you knew you’d look like an untrained clown at a circus, so you refused to join her. Natasha was currently lost in the music, dancing with a guy named Clint. You had no idea who the hell he was but he seemed nice, and you knew that if Clint had bad intentions with Natasha, he wouldn’t stand a chance and you wouldn’t let him so you assigned yourself the job to watch over Natasha and bring her home safely in case she chugs down a little too much alcohol.

Your eyes wandered around the room, trying to recognize and learn some faces. It felt like you were the only lonely person in the room as the exuberant music faded into the background. Everything felt slow and steady until the person who just walked through the door made your heart stop.

It was Steve. Steve Rogers.

The person you had incessantly wondered about. You hadn’t seen him in over a year even during the gap between graduating and starting your freshman year in college. You were too occupied in moving out, spending as many time as possible with Wanda and your family and filling out college requirements. Steve would emerge in your mind every once in a while but you tried to erase him away as quickly as possible when it happens because you didn’t want to waste your time missing a ghost and someone who probably never spared a second of his life thinking about you too when you are surrounded with your loved ones for the last time.

You didn’t know when you were going to be able to see Wanda again. She was going to New Haven and that means, it would take at least at two hours drive to visit her so you cherished the last moments that you had with her. She was like a sister to you. You still talked to Wanda nearly every day through texts but you also didn’t want to intrude her study too much. Besides, you had your own duties too as a college student now.

So why did it feel like your lungs stopped functioning when you saw his gorgeous face and those familiar pair of cerulean blue eyes? He had a grin on his face as he walked in with five other college boys. You didn’t know who they were but you assumed they were his new group of nitwit friends. Steve was wearing a brown leather jacket with a black shirt underneath.

He walked to where the kegs were with the boys trailing him along like they were his security team. They joked with each other boisterously as if they owned the place. Typical. Nothing you hadn’t seen in high school. But you couldn’t avert your sights from Steve. You were too riveted by the fact that Steve was here, at a sorority party of NYU.

It couldn’t really be him, right? I mean, is this serious? You two really attended the same university? This must be a joke.

Your thoughts were quickly interrupted when Nat pat your shoulder with her energy still blazing from the dance floor. “Whew, that was fun but I need some drink now.”

You didn’t respond as your lips were still agape, not knowing what you were supposed to say to her.

“Y/N? You alright? You look like you saw a ghost.” 

“He’s here.”

“What? Who?”

“Steve Rogers. The guy that I told you about.”

“Where?!”

You pointed in his direction where he was surrounded by a bunch of pretty girls in skimpy dresses now. One of them was groping his bicep shamelessly and Steve had his arm around her waist. She threw her head back as she laughed cheerfully at something he just said.

“You gotta talk to him! Have some closure.”

“What? What the hell am I supposed to say to him?”

“Tell him that you and him are through and maybe, throw a drink at him afterwards. That scumbag deserves it.”

“Nat, no! Are you insane? I don’t wanna cause a scene.”

“But you can’t just let him get away with whatever he wants, y/n!”

“No, let’s just go home and forget it, okay?”

“Alright, if you’re not gonna talk to him, then I will.”

“No, Nat! Stop! What are you doing?! ” But she was already approaching him with ardent footsteps and fire in her guts as she brazenly inserted herself into the middle of the scene.

“Excuse me,” she sarcastically greeted the group. “Yeah, hi, I just need a minute. Are you Steve Rogers?”

You followed behind her but you stood just a few feet away from the incident so that Steve wouldn’t see you. But you could see from over Nat’s shoulder that Steve had a perplexed look on his face. His eyebrows were furrowed and all the girls around him were staring at Nat like she was a crazy person who just randomly popped up uninvited.

“…yeah.” He answered.

“Oh, so you’re the asshole that my roommate has been talking about. Man, she really didn’t lie.”

“Excuse me?” The puzzled look on his face turned into an offended one.

“Yeah, my roommate y/n. Does that ring a bell?”

He was aghasted at the mention of your name. Before he was given a chance to answer, Natasha filled his silence with more of her venomous words. “You really have the audacity to show your face here, huh? I swear to you, the next time I see your irritable face again, I will make you regret for ever breathing in my direction, but for now, I think this will do.” She threw the beer in her cup onto his face, humiliating him in front of everyone who was entertained by the drama.

Steve wiped his face with his hand and he was too stupefied by the information that had just been dumped on him like a cold water. Well, it wasn’t entirely figurative though.

Before Natasha walked away, she sneered with a sly smirk on her face, “enjoy your party.” She shoved the empty cup to one of the girl’s chest as she reflexively caught it, with a flummoxed expression, her eyes didn’t stray from Natasha.

She walked away vauntingly from the flock towards you, “let’s go, y/n.” as she kept walking towards the entrance. You were still frozen in your spot as she was already going for the door. But before you could follow her, your eyes landed on Steve’s doused face as his eyes were already fixated on you.

For a moment there, there were only you and Steve and the intimacy of unspoken farewells and muted longing that were encapsulated in one bubble of silence that comes when two people understand each other. It was like the drawer of Steve’s things that he left with the memories and he never asked you to return came hurdling back like ocean waves and everything just evaporated in the ticking time.

There was no need for words because your eyes delivered more than both of your lips had in the past couple of years.

“Y/N?” He uttered your name. That was perhaps the first time he had called you in years. And with that, it was like every broken piece you had intensively woven back together ruptured and there was no safety net that would prepare you for this fallout.  

He was bewildered by seeing you here and you had no clue what you were supposed to say. So you threw him a poignant smile, forcing yourself to put on an impassive facade in front of him. You were good at that, you had years of practice from all those times you found Steve making out with Janet in the parking lot. You wonder if they were still together?

You wordlessly walked away and joined Natasha to the front porch. Steve watched you turn your back on him, not knowing whether he should call your name again, follow you or he should just let you go. You on your way back home were filled with so many thoughts. You couldn't help but wonder, what would’ve happened if you had stayed and talked to him at the party? What would he say to you? Would he even care at all?

But on the other hand, you were relieved. It’s like, you truly got the closure Natasha said you deserved. Never in a million years, you would ever dream about standing up to Steve like that. Hell, you weren’t even brave enough to tell him how you feel back when you were younger. But may God bless Natasha and her parents for creating her, she defended you in a way that you could never do. And she showed you that maybe, it’s time you hold on to your promise that you vowed to yourself, that you were finally going to move on and bury him into your memory dump.

You were in college now. You had no time to wallow in sadness and heartbreak caused by a douche like Steve Rogers. So you made peace with the fact that it was probably the last time you were ever going to see him. You might run into him around college but you weren’t going to let it shake your ground. You unlocked the door of your dorm with a contented smile on your face as you sat on your bed.

Natasha instantly went for the small closet to change into her pyjamas but was briefly delayed by your mumble. “Thank you.”

“Pardon?” Natasha turned her head into your direction.

“Thank you. For doing that… At the party.” You smiled at her. You sincerely meant every word.

“I’d never let a man walk over a good woman like you, y/n.”

You nodded as she carried on with what she was doing. She went into the bathroom to wash herself off and you laid in your bed, feeling lighter than you had ever felt in years. Maybe she was right. It was time you realize your worth. You spent too many years doubting yourself just because Steve was too much of a reprobate to cherish you.

You closed your eyes, relishing in the comfort of your bed without fearing a ghost looming in your sweet dreams anymore now.

Letting tomorrow surprise you with whatever it has in store. Sometimes it involves a charming devil standing on the other side of your door with flowers in his hands and a wicked scheme to accomplish.

[lesbiancarat]

Haha its fine! Im book anon for a reason so take all the time you need! Before I start, I wanna apologize for the possible asks you got about the merch and hybe in general. I didn't intend to cause stress and need to be careful bdjahdsj so slap me with a fish!

Onto the ask! But agreed, I mean before the big kpop boom we saw, this was very common. Build a decent fanbase and then move to Japan or China. (Of course sometimes you see INSTANT movement in other countries but that depends on the company and such but you know what I mean) but since we do have the more global kpop era, we may see more companies do America which isn't a bad thing. It makes sense buisness wise so they will jump on it after debut or something. Thus I don't see it a bad thing for kpop groups to promote in America because hey, if in Korea they do sell western artist music who also tour there, kpop groups can also do the same ya know?

Now onto the hybe comment, I will try not to speak too much on it so I will try to summarize. I think my theory is due with merch from their main artist, they think maybe it could work with svt which maybe could but svt has a different fanbase so throwing on random merch won't make fans really want to buy (not saying some won't which kudos to you! As a fan you are allowed to consume what you please except not be a bad apple about it) so thus like the infamous water bottles which was done for bts, they thought why not do it for svt because bts fans sold it out apparently for a 2nd wave of it being sold again. (Which to this day idk why someone in the hybe team thought this was smart. Like...this is just in bad taste imo) I do wanna agree that it appears that hybe doesn't seem to have a proper art team for svt because while sometimes wild, I do know for their main artist they do have thoughtful merch based around say an album concept I recall. Kf course they will make mistakes i.e. the water bottles. I do wish it can improve because even though it is capitalism, I think fans do want decent merch. We have seen interesting ideas like svt making their own magazine and selling it lol. Of course it is hard to please because some fans want subtle merch ideas while others don't mind the vibrant pastel colors we got or some want wild ideas like svt figurines or something. Overall I hope I didn't drag this too much as I just wanted to respond back to you, I agree with many points you said so yeah cx I say let's also wait as this is barely what, a year or even less of svt being under hybe properly. Especially when hybe had its rebranding and expanding so things are being changed, I know fans are worried about this which is valid but let's not panic just yet. Let's come back in a year to this and see what has improved and what hasn't. (OK but peldis sold the boys rings!? :o since when!? I haven't heard of this actually, when did this happen if I may ask?)

Oof yeah sadly with streaming, many view "oh you don't stream it means you aren't a fan" when isn't the case (which is why I personally don't like when certain companies also do "listening parties" which seems a bit ???) I do remember this popped up big in 2017 but many fans called it out so it quiet down a bit. Like we didn't see it so often where fans were causing problems over it so idk why this returned nor what the cause of it was.

But thank you!! It really was a nice closing chapter, I think when I have personal stuff settled I will try maybe get a new bunny? And oohh congrats on the album! (Note to hybe or pledis. Please make the us store a more common thing, it makes things so much easier! Am happy it was at your place quick so kudos to the us store. Oohh wonderful choices! I think for many fans anyone or heaven's cloud seems to be the popular picks? For me, I may have to say game boi or heaven's cloud as well! Those songs make me just so happy? Like game boy is just so creative with the way it was made. As a video game nerd, it is perfection. I could make an essay about this song lol and heaven's cloud is just...wow. I feel so at ease with the song, comfortable and soothed. Like you are on a cloud lol. Also that is totally fine! Rtl was a grower for me (I blame the mv, it didn't do the song jusitice) but it is a bop and can't stop humming the chorus at random moments. Overall a great summer album. Just imagine any of these songs performed live ndjansns

lol don't feel too bad about it! honestly they weren't that bad + i can always delete asks if i really don't want to answer them, i just always get a bit paranoid that things will get out of hand so i may end up getting more serious in those situations OTL

and yeah i agree! i don't think it's a bad thing for groups to promote in the US, as you said, it's similar to groups expanding their fanbase by promoting in china or Japan or other asian counties, it makes sense from a business standpoint and there's nothing wrong with promoting in different countries. i just wish that some kpop stans understood that western and/or global popularity is a bonus and not a requirement for success. while they do have a global appeal, at the end of the day kpop's main audience is korea, and groups that achieve popularity in Korea have already achieved what they set out to do. but there's unfortunately a decent chunk of international fans that prioritize western popularity over anything and can't fathom that a group can be successful without being popular in the US. or they just talk as if their groups western achievements are more valuable than their Korean ones and to me that starts to look like xenophobia... (sorry if I'm repeating anything i said before in regards to this, i feel like i am but I'm too lazy to go back and check OTL)

since you sent this ask hybe released the caratland merch which was actually really nice, and today they also announced that there will be birthday merch for cheol (and presumably all members from here on out). we don't know what the bday merch is yet but some carats are already a bit miffed that hybe is even thinking to capitalize off the boys' birthdays... i bring both of these up bc i feel like the caratland merch proves your point that hybe is capable of designing good and thoughtful merch, and honestly this does reassure me a bit. but on the other hand them trying to capitalize off the boys' birthdays also proves that they still don't fully understand carats wants and priorities as a fanbase. which, if the future of seventeens merch is gonna be quality merch with some shitty cash grabs in between, i can live with that. I'm not gonna like the shitty cash grabs and i think it would be in our best interest as a fandom to not go crazy buying those shitty cash grabs, because if we don't then hybe will hopefully stop wasting their time and put more effort into /quality/. but if we get quality merch for important events like concerts and fanmeetings, i can live with it. as you said too, it can take time for these things to change, and we should all recognize that. but at the same time merch specifically is market driven, so i don't think it's a bad thing if people like @ hybe on twt about any bad merch that comes out in order to drive that change dhfkfj

but also on a maybe more fun note in regards to the merch... with some carats being upset about the bday merch i was thinking about what hybe could do for merch instead that would fill the niche of being at intervals throughout the year that could still be limited time drops but that carats wouldn't be mad at them capitalizing on and then i was like duh! they could literally just make merch off of going seventeen! honestly I'm surprised they haven't yet. maybe not merch for every episode, but they could have a line of permanent gose merch w a basic logo or something and then release limited time merch themed around some of the more popular episodes at various points during the year. I'm actually kind of obsessed with this idea now and for once I'm like hybe/pledis please capitalize off of this!! dhfkgjg

they never actually sold them, but for seventeens 3rd anniversary, pledis planned to sell replicas of seventeens rings. after it was announced carats were understandably upset since the boys worked so hard for those. luckily pledis heard carats concerns and put out an apology and didn't manufacture them in the end. I'm glad that at least they listened to carats even though it would have been better if they had never considered the idea in the first place :(

oh yeah listening parties are definitely just another marketing technique to boost streams. i think like with a lot of marketing techniques, it just depends on the execution. imo if they're done well it can be a good way for fans to connect while listening to an artists music, which is mutually beneficial for the company, but i can totally see a situation where companies get greedy and push it too hard. i don't know anything about what happened with them back in the day, but if you're curious why SVT had listening parties leading up to your choice, they were set up by UMG, the American distributor that SVT worked with for this cb. in this case the listening parties weren't just for boosting streams, but also likely for UMG to gauge interest. SVT isn't officially signed to a US label yet, but UMG's data from the listening parties could be used to show US labels whether or not there's enough interest for them to be signed. which if that happens we'd almost definitely see a more permanent US shop!

ahh yes, once you're ready I'm sure it would be great to have another bunny companion 🥺

yes! heavens cloud and gam3 bo1 are both such feel good songs! my sister actually added heavens cloud to their Spotify after i made them listen to the album in the car dhfkf it's now one of 6 kpop songs they have saved (4 of which are SVT... my influence 💅 DHFJFH) I'm certain we'll see some of the songs from your choice at caratland this year, hopefully it's all of them but I'd especially like to see heavens cloud and wave 👀 I'm also still crossing my fingers for an i wish live performance bc i can't believe my favorite SVT b-side is one of the TWO tracks they haven't performed live not including the new album (the other one being network love, which i would also like to see live!)

[maedarakat]

Drabble: Risks

It was weird, how nobody was paying attention to what was going on.

Dagur had always admired his brother, how he always put the lives of his group and their dragons above the result of their missions. It was a trait he had exploited in the past many times.

Except now it was becoming apparent that Hiccup was very good at protecting everyone in his group from outside enemies ... but not necessarily inward ones.

And damn, could those inward ones be downright cruel. Dagur knew from experience that sometimes the awful brain-voices pointing out all his flaws, insufficiencies, and failures would just not shut up. Not even for a second.

Something was seriously up with one of Hiccup’s riders, and Hiccup either knew about it and was doing nothing, or he didn’t know about it at all. Dagur preferred to believe it was the latter.

They had all been flying south - the riders, himself, and Heather - summoned by stories of a subjugated colony of timberjacks. Once again some chucklefuck dragon hunters were keeping eggs and hatchlings from parents to ensure their obedience.

On the way they’d destroyed at least twelve dragon hunter ships (Snothat had kept score of how many they’d all done but Hiccup had forbidden him to keep individual scores because: “It’s not a competition!”)

Silly Hiccup. Of course it was.

So naturally, Snothat had kept individual scores anyway, just ... secretly.

It was all fun and games - literally - until one of the fleets they encountered sent a bola net at Barf and Belch, dragging both twins and dragon violently down to the deck. Dagur and Heather dove immediately, their dragons trying to grab the net and slow their rapid descent so they wouldn’t be crushed.

It was still with a sickening boat-shaking thud that they landed. The Zippleback lay still, tangled and dazed with pain, and Ruff slumped out of her saddle onto the deck, groaning and clutching her arm to her chest. Heather roared, jumping off Windshear with axe brandished, threatening the approaching hunters.

Dagur jumped off Sleuther quickly, ready to help Girlnut’s other half, but Tuff wasn’t anywhere near their dragon or his sister.

For a heart stopping second Dagur feared he had somehow missed Tuff falling into the water during their crash landing, but a fearsome roar of anger quickly grabbed his attention.

Tuff was on his feet in front of Barf and Belch - at the most vulnerable point of the group. Blood was running down one side of his face, grey eyes wild, breathing heavy, mace at the ready. He was obviously worse injured than Ruffnut, and that was based only on what Dagur could see , yet there he was - laying about him with the mace like his pain did not matter.

More specifically, like his life did not matter.

Oh boy ... yep, Dagur had definitely been there before.

There was nothing to do but let out a fearsome roar of his own and fight his way to Tuffnut’s side, grabbing the blond twin just as he crumpled from a savage blow to his ribs by a morning-star - really, like he needed another injury. Holding Tuff tight against his side, he attempted to shove the boy behind him, taking point himself in front of the fallen Zippleback.

Windshear sliced through the nets easily, nudging the stunned two headed dragon back to their feet and Heather grabbed Ruff, hauling both of them up into the saddle.

As Toothless and Stormfly offered cover fire, both girls and dragons managed to fly up to safety. Sleuther flung aside dragon hunters, fighting to get between them and the encroaching hunters.

The second his dragon got close enough, Dagur wasted no time, pulling himself and the semi-conscious Thorston twin up after him. By the grace of Odin, all of them made their escape and were now well out of range before another net cannon could be aimed and loaded.

Hiccup ordered them immediately into a defensive formation, which Sleuther picked up on without needing guided - aware that Dagur’s immediate concern was with the injured boy in his arms.

Tuff seemed aware of his surroundings, though shaking hard and his breathing was raspy. Gods, Dagur hoped he didn’t have a pierced lung or something. He considered himself fairly decent at the healing arts, but not that good.

“Boynut, can you hear me?” Dagur asked, opening Tuff’s vest and undoing his belt to relieve pressure on his ribs. He rolled up the green tunic and felt along his side. Two broken ribs with some lovely bruising puncture wounds from the morning-star, a dislocated shoulder, plus a deep gash on his forehead.

Tuffnut hitched, trying to push away Dagur’s touch. “Loki, you must be a healer because your hands are freezing cold!”

Dagur frowned thoughtfully at the redirection, but the others let out a collective sigh of relief.

“How’s Ruffnut?” he heard Hiccup ask Heather.

“She’s fine. Just a broken arm and a mild concussion - I’ll keep her awake,” Heather called back. Fishlegs and Snotlout immediately pulled out of formation to go fuss over her while Hiccup and Astrid flew closer to Barf and Belch, checking over the dragon’s injuries as well.

Nobody came over to see if Boynut was alright. Probably because he’d just cracked a joke like he was unaware of pain even as a concept.

Did he do that often? Dagur felt like he probably did that often.

Tuff had relaxed as soon as he’d heard his sister‘s injuries weren’t life-threatening and was trying not to make an agonized expression, but at every turbulent bump Sleuther’s wings absorbed, his facade of carefully controlled blankness cracked and he grimaced sharply.

“I know it hurts,” Dagur soothed him tenderly, pressing a clean wad of cloth over Tuff’s gash, trying to stop the bleeding. Tuff jerked, looking up at him in shock and automatically covering with a grin.

“Nah, I’m fine. Loki looks out for his own. Hey, do you Berserkers know how set broken arms in a way that doesn’t hurt? I mean, Ruff cried like a baby the last time Gothi did it, so hopefully you have more of a gentle touch.”

Redirection, yet again. What even ...

“Heather does, and she’ll be the one caring for your sister. What I’m worried about is your shoulder. And ribs. And whether you’re gonna need stitches for that enormous cut on your head.”

Dagur poured a little water onto a piece of linen and started cleaning the blood off Tuff’s face. He squirmed, complaining, but let him. “You don’t have to. Belch licks my face about four times a day, after meals and before bedtime. He’ll get all that off by lunch.”

“Pretty sure both your dragons and your sister would kill me if I let you go untreated until lunch. Hold still. At least it’s not my thumb and spit.”

“Um. Ew ...”

“Yeah, exactly. I’d rather not subject you to that.” Dagur rinsed the blood off and packed some honey and flax salve into the shallow groove, which had finally begun to clot. “So ... about that fight. You normally just jump right in full Berserker style when the chips are down?”

If he avoided putting a negative connotation to it, maybe Tuff would open up?

It worked; Tuff fairly glowed at the comparison. “Yeah, I was doing good until that one guy - ugh. He came up on my blind side. At least it gave you guys time to get Ruff and our dragons out though, right?”

Dagur’s chest hurt at Tuff’s clear ache for approval in those words. Oh man, Boynut was really not okay. Not by a long shot.

“Boynut, why do you think -“

A voice interrupted him mid-sentence. “Tuffnut, what were you thinking?!”

Hiccup was flying next to them now, frowning.

“That was incredibly dangerous, you shouldn’t have flown so close to the starboard - they always have cannons on that side! Didn’t you pay any attention during the lesson about hunter ship defenses?” There was a little concern in his tone, but it was dwarfed by exasperation.

Dagur felt his heart sink. This was not helpful, and Hiccup didn’t even notice what was going on with his friend. How could he not notice? A lecture about general safety - not even his, but everyone else’s - was the last thing Tuff needed right now.

Tuff looked at Hiccup with a calm expression, betraying nothing.

“Nope, I was actually far more interested in what Smidvarg was doing with that grasshopper. Turns out he was not, in fact, trying to make a friend.”

Redirecting again . Hiccup predictably started lecturing him on why listening to him during training was important, and Tuff’s laid back answers were designed to make him frustrated enough to drop the whole thing and fly off.

It didn’t seem to be working this time, and now Fishlegs was flying over, frowning, and clearly ready to back Hiccup up.

It was all kind of amazing to watch in terms of density alone, but Dagur had more than enough at that point.

He glowered down at the glinting surface of the sparkling sea and saw an out.

“Oh hey, look - flying fish! Sleuther’s favorite snack that he absolutely cannot control himself around,” Dagur stated, purposefully loud enough for his dragon to hear. His Triplestryke opened wide eyes, made a noise of intrigue, and dived down away from Hiccup and the group to investigate.

“Sorry, be right back!” he called cheerfully, leaving the others behind as they descended below the current. There was grumbling from up above - Fishlegs and Hiccup were now sharing their grievances about the issue. Granted, Tuff was a good actor, but still ...

Dagur continued his ministrations, wiping away the excess blood from Tuff’s injured side where spikes had slammed into his skin.

Boynut had relaxed in his arms, clearly relieved, though looking at him searchingly. “Thanks?” he offered cautiously. He sounded like he was trying to figure out if Dagur had done that for him.

He glanced at Tuff and, not knowing whether he should resume the talk they’d been trying to have just yet, gave him a confirming wink. The boy’s face reddened immediately and he turned his head away, directing his attention to the flying fish before Sleuther snapped up the entire school.

Dagur almost felt bad for letting his dragon snack on them so voraciously. They were pretty, silver and incandescent, almost matching Tuff’s eyes when the sun hit their scales.

The Berserker shook his head to clear it and pressed salve into the cuts, spreading it liberally across his bruises.

“You should save that stuff. Someone else might get injured later,” Tuff said quietly. “Snotlout usually.”

Gods, this guy ... maybe he had to be straightforward about this after all, before someone else came to oh-so-usefully scold him.

“You’re injured now, and I’ve got more than enough. Boynut ... “ Here it was, time to be blunt. “Why don’t you think you’re worth anything?”

The question came like an unexpected blow and Tuff flinched in his arms, eyes immediately closing. Dagur braced himself. The boy might redirect with anything right now, even anger. Gods knew, if anyone had dared to ask a younger version of Dagur this question, they probably wouldn’t have survived.

He’d had to ask it though - he’d had to let Tuff see that his pain was visible to someone .

Tuff didn’t lash out, but he was shaking. He tried to curl away and hide behind his hair so Dagur couldn’t see the tears spilling over.

It didn’t matter. He knew they were there.

Surprisingly, after a long tortured moment, Tuff answered the question, voice low.

“Because I’m not worth anything. I mean ... can you think of anything I’m good for? I’m just the spare. The whole family thinks I’m the spare. Look at our dragon. One body, with an extra head. Not that I really think Belch is a spare, he’s totally awesome, but  ... you know what I mean, right?”

Dagur listened, and bit his lip, thinking for a moment about what to say.

“I always kinda thought of you as the heart and soul of the group, Tuff. I mean, when I first joined you guys, everyone was so suspicious of me - granted, with very good reason. But you were just like ‘oh, Dagur’s a good guy now? Awesome! I’ll give the guy a chance!’ And then you both sat with me. You talked to me as easily as if I was an old friend, showed me some cool dragon moves with your chicken, gave me a fresh egg. Never once did you judge me, or try to get back at me - not even when my own sister thought I was sent as Viggo’s spy.

“You made me feel human. Forgiven. Like I really could be part of the group if I kept up improving my behavior. And you show that same compassion to others too - even wild and dangerous dragons. The kindness you have inside of you is inspiring.”

Tuffnut was staring up at him, eyes wide and shocked. Dagur fidgeted, looking ahead of him, wondering if he’d said too much.

“Most people ... would have said I tell funny jokes.,” Tuff said hoarsely. “That I’m good for cheering people up. Or at least distracting them from all their problems by being irritating.”

“Well, you are funny.  There’s certainly that. Though i don’t think it’s more  important than the compassion and insight and empathy you show. Honestly, that’s something everyone in the Archipelago - in the world - struggles with. We need you around to be our best example.”

When he looked back at Tuff, the blond was staring at him, eyes wide and full of  tears.

Oh no, he’d said something wrong, hadn’t he? Tuff reached up shakily to wipe at his eyes.

“But ... but ... I still mess everything up, don’t I? I don’t do what I’m supposed to do. Always holding my sister back, always d-driving everyone crazy, blowing stuff up -“

“So what? Nobody in this entire group is perfect. Certainly not me. I used to grab guys by the seat of their pants and toss them overboard for mildly irritating me. I personally caused the death of my sister’s entire village, ensured my dad would die alone on Vanaheim,  and lost at least half of our tribe’s Armada chasing you guys around the globe because of a grudge. Oh and I’ve killed a lot of dragons. Still and always will hate all of those things about myself. I would never do them again, but I did once do all that, and I can never undo it. Do I deserve to die?”

“Of course you don’t,” Tuff answered automatically, still wiping his face. “Everyone makes mistakes, even awful ones - what matters is you took responsibility and - and you’re trying , every day, to still make up for it. It’s not easy to be good, especially if you think you’re a monster.”

... uh, wow. Dagur was not expecting that. He shook his head to clear it. “Okay. So why can’t you apply that same logic to yourself?”

Tuff looked at him helplessly. “I ... I don’t know. It’s ... I feel like I’m just not good enough all the time. Nobody ever seems happy with me, I’m not happy with me, s-so I must be doing something wrong. Right?”

Dagur thought for a moment, readjusting Tuff so he could lay more comfortably against his chest.

“You wanna know a secret, Boynut?”

He turned those pretty grey eyes up at him and carefully nodded. It was rare to see the normally distracted and wise-cracking twin appear so focused, but then Tuff and Ruff always seemed to give Dagur their full attention whenever he visited the Edge.

“I haven’t told this to anyone before - not even Hiccup - but after I escaped Viggo’s attempt to kill me, I wound up lost at sea. All alone, in a tiny little boat, with very little food and water. Days came and went. I went hungry, thirsty, sunburnt, sick.  Every day I had the same question - why was I still alive? I was a villain. A monster. Surely Odin Allfather didn’t mean for me to actually make it in the end, because I hadn’t done anything right - since day one, I was always the problem kid.

“So this had to be it, I thought. Odin was surely going to kill me with the next storm or send a shark or Scauldron to pick me off ... but that never happened. I wasn’t exactly comfortable, but the sea remained calm, I was able to catch fish, and there was rainwater to drink.

“I started to think about it, until realizing - finally - that Odin doesn’t just kill people for making horrible mistakes. Or even if they think they’re worthless.  At my core - all I ever wanted was my father’s approval. My sister to be safe. I had to learn how to change a few things to get there, but I got there.

“And now I have my sister beside me, along with some pretty great friends.” Dagur smiled winningly at Tuff, making it clear he counted Boynut in that category.

Tuff jolted in his arms again, not expecting that - so entranced with Dagur’s story. He stammered for a moment, blushing.

“You consider me a friend? Not just an acquaintance you have to put up with because they hang around the others?”

Dagur regarded him softly and wrapped his arms around Tuff. It was a firm hug, though careful of his injuries. “Yes. You’re one of my friends. And I don’t have very many, so that makes you very important to me, okay?”

Tuff’s eyes were again welling up. “You ... actually like me?”

That question hurt more than it had a right to. “Yes, I like you very much. I want you to stay right here on Midgard for as long as possible. I’d be devastated if anything happened to you.”

Boynut was staring at him like he’d never seen Dagur before in his life, face still flushed and tear tracks cutting through the grime and blood of battle. For half a second, Dagur wondered if he’d said too much, but then Tuff curled into his embrace, putting his arms around the Berserker’s neck and burying his face in his shoulder.

He was trembling hard, hitching, and Dagur hugged him tightly, rubbing Tuff’s back.     He wanted very suddenly to yell at the others - Tuff was their friend too and he didn’t even know and he seriously thought he was worth less than shark chum and what the hell were they doing about it? Had any of them noticed?

“S-Sorry - I - I - nobody’s ever - I n-never thought -“ Tuff trailed off, hiccoughing.

“That you were good enough as is?” Dagur hazarded a guess. The despondent wail that followed was his answer and Dagur hugged him back tighter, murmuring soothingly.

It took a short while before Tuff calmed down, but he still clung to Dagur like a frightened kitten, pulling back to wipe at his face with a free hand.

Dagur didn’t discourage him, still cradling him close with an arm around the curve of his body. They were still flying below the air current the rest of the group was on, skimming across the surface of the water.

Absently he reached up, toying with a braid of Tuff’s hair. “It’s still a long way to where we’re going. Why don’t you get some rest, huh? It’s okay if you sleep - pretty sure you don’t have a concussion.”

Tuff looked up at him in shock, face going pink. He smiled at him, leaning his head tiredly on Dagur’s shoulder. “That sounds good. You’re very warm.”

Dagur thought he was going to say more, but after a long minute, Tuff’s head grew a little heavier and he began to gently snore. He was exhausted and injured, and it was hours still before they would reach land. Dagur decided to let him be, expression soft as he watched Boynut sleep.

[gegenji]

Merchant (MER) as a FFXIV Job

A while back (almost a year and a half now, in fact) I wrote a dissertation on how one could implement Beastmaster as a tank job using concepts taken primarily from how Summoner was being handled at the time. Given how things have gone since that point with the Arcanist-based pet jobs, its base concept seems all the more possible... though it's just as likely to become a Limited Job like Blue Mage just to allow for the full actualization of taming something and using it as your companion. Still, it was a fun thing to do and I’ve been mulling over doing another.

This is the actualization of that, albeit a rather spur of the moment one. Like before, it’s - as the title implies - the idea of a "Merchant" combat class that is actually an attempt at providing that Chemist-like job folks have been wanting. Just with some inspiration from the Bravely Default job of the same name, and some other gil-based concepts like Zenniage.

As for how it came about? It all just sort of... clicked into place during a conversation, honestly. Hopefully it all makes sense, too!

Disclaimer: As with the BST theorycraft post, this whole idea is just speculation and ideas presented for fun and as a mental exercise. There's likely to be gaping holes in the concept that would need to be dealt with to be executed properly, and things like potency and cooldown timers won't be delved into at all. This is all theorycrafting and spitballing, after all. Don't expect much else to come out of it other than perhaps some smiles on the part of the reader.

And, also like the Beastmaster post, this will likely get unnecessarily in-depth and wordy (as is my wont). So it will be put under a Read More just like the last.

High Concept: Merchant as an "Item"-Based Healer Job

As mentioned above, one of the abilities I've seen people lamenting not being able to do in FFXIV is throw potions at people, a la the Chemist in Tactics (though the job is also in FFV in a much more broken capacity) or - honestly - like what you can do in any single-player RPG like the non-MMO Final Fantasies. Of course, I’ve always had the mental block on actually thinking too deeply on it because the Alchemist already exists as a Disciple of the Hand class. Why would they make a Chemist job that would just confuse people?

There were other issues as well, of course. Most folks also wanted this Chemist job to use a gun too - another design decision taken from Tactics, since Chemist was among the three jobs that could use one (the other being Mustadio’s titular Machinist - a Squire replacement - and Mediator). This, of course, would step on the toes of FFXIV’s own Machinist job without some sort of variation to set it apart..Using two smaller pistols at once, for example. But I wanted to avoid as much overlap as possible - giving the job its own kind of unique identity - and that meant a unique weapon as well.

Then there's the problem that if the character actually had to use items, then that would require this job to have to carry around materials much like how Hunters had to carry around arrows or a Rogue their poisons in WoW. It would attach a cost to playing the job that - while fitting for the flavour - would be detrimental to the player since they would have to spend more gil than any other job. So, of course, the obvious solution for this is to nix that for the sake of gameplay.

With all this ironed out, the overall concept became one of the idea of a healer that uses "items" as a method of healing and support, where said "items" are just cooldowns like anything else. Like what you'd see with some NPCs or use yourself when playing as them. Just with some fun little additions to add a bit of mercantile flair to the job as a whole, all of which I'll delve into here.

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General Information

Job Role: Healer Primary Stat: Mind Weapon: Bag

You read that right! Bags! These were actually a weapon in Final Fantasy Tactics. Normally only usable by female characters, they had a random damage range like axes. However, for someone who is using items to heal, it also seemed fitting that they use the very bag they carry everything in as a weapon in a pinch.

Job Gauge: Profit Gauge

The Profit Gauge is a meter to display how much "profit" the Merchant has gained during the course of combat. Profit is used to increase the efficacy many of the Merchant's moves, allowing for big bursts of healing or damage at the cost of the resource. It also has a section to indicate whether they are in a Nald or a Thal Market.

Limit Break: Defibrillation

Taking all the energy gathered from the fight and funneling it into an experimental device, the Merchant jolts downed allies to life and heals everyone up to full.

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Expendable Resource - "Profit"

(The name for this resource has gone through a few revisions. First was Currency or Wealth, and then started moving away to the more abstract Gratuity before ending up as Profit.)

All things are made from aether. People, plants, animals, the land itself. As such, this also extends to the various concoctions made by (and oftentimes out of) these things. However, such things are never a perfect one-to-one ratio. And there's always some degree of excess.

The Merchant skims this excess from the potions and tinctures they use, gathering each extra little bit of aether in the crystal focus clasp set in their Bag. From there, they can infuse it right back into the next item they use - giving an extra little kick to the healing or damage that it might do.

This allows a Merchant to suddenly bolster the power of their abilities, but each use eats into that Profit. If they spend too much of it or use it too frivolously, they might not have enough saved up for when they actually need it, considering...

Nald/Thal Market

On the side of the gauge, there is a circle that is usually empty. However, after hitting a certain level, this field activates to symbolize the Merchant’s ability to identify the ebb and flow of the aether that is coursing about the battlefield. This is represented by a symbol of Nald'thal with an up arrow, a down arrow or a line along with a timer. These, in order, identify a Nald, Thal, or Even Market.

During a Nald Market, there is extra aether to be had - leading to a boost in the amount of Profit gained from each action taken. Conversely, a Thal Market means a dearth of aether, resulting in less Profit being gained with each action. An Even Market means no change to the Profit gained at all, and is the default when out of combat.

Once combat begins, a timer appears for the Even Market, and then it cycles into a Nald or Thal Market. After that subsequent timer runs out, it can refresh as the same Market or switch to the opposite. It takes a wily Merchant to capitalize on a Nald Market, gaining and spending Profit freely. But they should also make sure to keep some left over should it become a Thal Market.

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Combat and Mechanics

As mentioned above, the main idea of this type of healer is a healer that can - in times of necessity - have a sudden spike of healing or damage by utilizing the Profit Gauge. It's not unlike how a Scholar can use their Aetherflow stacks for a sudden Lustrate or Indomitability. However, a Merchant can constantly gain their resource unlike a Scholar, and thus their healing is more deeply tied with having this resource on hand to be spent.

The gain of Profit, however, is not a constant thing thanks to the shifting of the Nald/Thal Market. As such, playing a Merchant is about using their abilities to seek to properly utilize and cultivate this flighty resource. There are, of course, some abilities to allow them to circumvent or even ignore their Profit Gauge, but these are mainly for emergencies.

The overall idea is to be utilizing your basic attacks and heals to generate Profit at all times. These are generally low potency, however, and will require usage of your gathered Profit in order to put out any meaningful numbers. So, just getting a full Profit Gauge and then sitting on it until you need a big heal is technically a viable strategy, actively utilizing your Profit and the abilities that manipulate it will maximize both the Merchant's damage and healing capabilities.

And, due to the ability to burst damage as well as healing, the Merchant would likely end up one of the more damaging Healer options. However, this comes at the cost of eating far more into its healing. The other healers would likely be preferable for their consistent healing and damage numbers over the peaks and valleys of a Merchant. However, a properly played one makes a perfectly serviceable healer.

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Actions & Traits

Much like the BST section of the same name, the items listed are not in level order and are instead grouped as I feel would work best. The overall goal to show the items in each part of the kit for an overall whole. Potency, cooldown timers, and Profit costs are not included either and will instead be given in vague terms. I'm sure concrete values could be figured out for these, but that is a bit beyond the scope of this theorycraft.

Attack Items

Dark Potion - Deals unaspected damage.

Poison Breath  - Deals unaspected damage over time.

TNT - Deals unaspected damage to target and all enemies nearby it.

Zenniage - Deals unaspected damage, potency increases with Profit. Uses all Profit bar.

Support Items

Aqua Vitae - Restores target's HP.

Caligo Vitae - Restores own HP and HP of all nearby party members.

Savium Vitae - Resurrects target to a weakened state.

Iron Draft - Erects a magicked barrier which nullifies damage. Does not actually heal.

Samson Power - Increases damage dealt by a party member or self by 3%.

Goliath Tonic - Restores target’s HP, percentage matches Profit. Uses all Profit bar.

Market Abilities

Poor Quailty - Reduces the potency of the next Item used, but increases the amount of Profit gained off it.

Good Quality - Increases the potency of the next Item used by 50%, but uses a decent amount of Profit (~25-50).

Great Quality - Increases the potency of the next Item used by 100%, but uses a large amount of Profit (~50-100).

Speculate - Force a reroll of the Market, making it a Nald, Thal, or Even.

Ether Loan - Increase Profit Gauge by 30. Long cooldown.

Deep Pockets - Allows usage of Good Quality without Profit cost for 15s.

Traits

Pharmacology - Increases base action damage and restoration by 10%.

Pharmacology II - Increases base action damage and restoration by 30%.

Market Sense - Adds the Market indicator to your Profit Gauge.

Deeper Pockets - Changes Deep Pockets to Deeper Pockets, allowing usage of Great Quality without Profit cost for 15s.

Potions Mastery - Upgrades Dark Potion to Dark Hi-Potion and Poison Breath to Morbol Breath .

Potions Mastery II - Upgrades Dark Hi-Potion to Dark X-Potion and Morbol Breath to Dragon Breath .

Potions Mastery III - Upgrades Dark X-Potion to Dark Elixir and Dragon Breath to Dark Breath .

Mix Mastery - Upgrades Samson Power to Dragon Power, increasing the boost from 3% to 6%.

Long-Term Speculation - Allows accumulation of charges for Speculation. Maximum Charges: 2.

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Afterword

Things have changed a lot since the last theorycraft I did. A whole new expansion has changed up how the jobs are laid out, their traits, and added whole new aspects and angles to them I didn't know about before. I had thought to update my Beastmaster theorycraft to match that, but I also felt that it might be best left as it is as a testament to the idea wrought at the time I put it to paper.

So, instead, I decided a new job was needed instead. I had been musing on how a job like Mime would work in FFXIV, mostly focused around expanding on the concept of Aetherial Mimicry and the Aetheryte Earring from the Shadowbringers Special Edition. Something involving having a basic set of moves, and then some others that changed based on the target you mimicked. And then possibly the idea of its gear shifting stats to match whatever they're mimicking (an idea brought on by a debate about alternate roles for existing jobs).

But I didn't think I had enough of a concept put together for a full on theorycrafting diatribe like I had done for Beastmaster. And then, when talking to some friends about the aforementioned debate and musing on what jobs were left... what jobs people still wanted... and some abilities that had been used in Final Fantasy games but not yet in FFXIV. And this is what came out.

Of course, even as I started writing, things shifted around. The concept of the Profit Gauge solidified with some lore to go with it, along with the addition of the Nald/Thal Market idea (for good or for ill). I was originally musing over trying to include a Slots-style system like Setzer has that would randomly boost (or hinder) the Items used for the next 15 seconds or something... but that seemed a bit too random for a job that already had this amount of variance, and a healer at that.

... Though maybe it can be a third part of the gauge in the future. With a button to spin it for varying positive effects.

Still, all in all, it was a fun exercise. Even if it came crashing into existence much more quickly than the slow formulation that was my Beastmaster concept. Do you like it better? Worse? Have any ideas of your own? Want me to try taking a crack at Mime anyway? Let me know!  

[thoughtlessghost]

Salem ou alekoum fellow disbelievers,

I decided to write this story down because one of my friends is currently questioning Islam. She said it might be a good idea for me to share my journey to help her and others find inner peace once you have walk out of something you grew up thinking was correct. I think I will make this a 2-3 parts series depending on interest and how she deals with just part 1. There's a lot to go through, and I will try to be brief, but I do not mind elaborating on any section in the comments or private. I am very open and confident about who and what I am. Finally, I want to have at least one part dedicated to my current worldview with the hopes of helping you guys create your moral landscape.

Finally, I would like to complete this preface by saying that I know that we all have personal reasons for leaving a Religion. Some of you have left the faith because you felt as though it was too controlling; others may have felt that God was simply too cruel. I will say that in the end, those were not the deciding factors for me. In my view, only Truth matters. Therefore, for me to stop believing in a concept, it merely has to be proven untrue, whether scientifically or logically. So my journey of leaving Islam did not originate because I had problems with its takes on the world. They occurred in large part because I feel as though Islam is inconsistent with our understanding of the natural world. Given the purpose of writing this is to help people, and that most people don't make decisions based on logic, I will try and emphasize how events and not thoughts affected my worldview to help illustrate how and when the transition occurred.

1. Humble beginnings: I know everybody has a different upbringing, so I would like to give you guys some context of how familiar I was with Islam growing up as a child (4-12). For starters, I am the eldest son of first-generation Algerian immigrants to Canada. This is just to tell you I'm brown, and I went to a school surrounded by non-muslims. In school, I was a troublemaker. I was basically this brainy kid who cared so little of rules and norms that I was almost transferred to this school for a learning disability. In response, my dad would beat the shit out of me every day for not being an obedient student despite my grades being decent (during that period B to B+). Despite his sincerest efforts, I never learned or changed. I'm only saying this because it made Arabic school impossible for my parents to manage since I simply refused to do my regular homework from school. My thinking was something like this: "What's the point of going to ANOTHER school on the weekend and spend all of my time off doing pointless alphabetical exercises in a language no one other than my parents spoke?" This, in turn, limited my exposure to Islam since I didn't interact with other Muslim kids. Finally, my parents bestowed upon me few Islamic teachings or practices. For instance, I fasted, I didn't eat pepperoni pizza, I was a relatively good kid, and I knew of prayer. Still, it wasn't something we did in our household. So I basically ended up with the same amount of knowledge of Islam and Arabic as Mohammed did when he was visited by Gabriel.

2. The quest begins: By the time I reached 14, I began to change mentally (One would only hope). I had stopped being this rebellious kid and became a book worm. I read encyclopedias, watched documentaries, binged read Wikipedia and genuinely wanted to learn everything the world had to offer. Therefore, religion seemed like the next logical step. Another reason that pushed me to that position is my first adolescent trip to Algeria. It was the first time I had truly been exposed to Islam, and I felt like I got a good whiff of what it meant to be a Muslim. And so, I decided I had now come of age and was of sufficient maturity to read the Quran and become a proper Muslim. I purchased a translated version of the Holy Book and waited until nightfall to open it. I vividly remember the mindset I put myself in before opening the book. I told myself the following things:

1. Bismillah. (YAH BOY) 2. I am about to read a book written by a being that is not human. (how fucking cool is that?!) 3. It is a book of ultimate and limitless knowledge and is the literal word of God.   4. It will guide me now and forever, for it is a timeless work meant to guide all of humanity.

By the time I made it halfway through Al-Baqarah, the second chapter of the book, I was mortified. For whatever reason, God presented himself as a terrifying merciless being. So many verses spoke about how powerful God was, and for some reason, it felt weird to me. It's almost like Bill Gates flaunting billions at a homeless person or a fisherman trying to shame a fish on how it cant breathe once it's out of water. I also felt as though too many verses spoke about eternal damnation instead of collective upbringing. In essence, it wasn't the book I expected. I was hoping for the key to save my soul and help humanity. All that ran through my head was that I was unworthy and had to dedicate myself or else face the consequences. But I persevered. Over the next few days, I kept reading while trying to keep an open mind, but I was definitely feeling perplexed. What I could not wrap my head around was the following: If God can indeed do anything, why can't he have a son?  Like all this talk about how Powerful he is, but he can't have a son?

It was around this time I started to explore other religions. However, there were so many religions that existed that it would take an eternity to study and contemplate every single one. So I elaborated the following shortcuts:

1. I skipped Judaism because a "true" faith can't have fewer subscribers than the city of New York. That also threw a bunch of other religions out the window. In my view, a Divine being should do a good job of spreading his work even if he has to do it remotely. 2. I skipped polytheistic religions like Hinduism because multiple Gods seemed odd to me. 3. Buddhism didn't have a deity, can we, therefore, call it a religion?

By that flawless logic (lol), I thought that Christianity was likely to be the One True Faith. But there were inconsistencies. For starters, the faith had multiple subdivisions and multiple versions given the Bible was written after the life of Jesus. Suffice to say, I agreed with most Muslim criticisms towards Christianity's essence manipulated by men. If Christianity is the real deal, then God would have cared a little more. As a side note to my thinking, the book of Narnia really helped me appreciate Christianity. It portrayed a more merciful caring version of God that wanted what was best for his disciples and all that existed. Yet the feeling of a merciful and just God was simply not sufficient to make me convert.

And so I started to think about atheism. However, I could still feel the presence of God. In the end, I just felt discouraged. I wrapped my head around the whole thing when I realized there was a possibility I was simply too immature to understand Islam or the Quran. So, in the end, I decided to postpone my immersion in the faith until later.

3. I committed: By the time I reached 16, I had started rereading the Quran, which actually flowed better this time around. I was relieved to know that my 14-year-old self was simply too childish. Eventually, I stumbled upon a verse akin to the following: Oh, Believers look into the world, and you shall see evidence of Islam. It felt as though God challenged me to learn science and search for proof of his existence in the natural world. And so, I did.

So one thing that occurred to me growing up is that I wanted to learn everything. By the time I reached 12, I thought to myself that if I knew every word in the dictionary, I would end up knowing everything. But the dictionary was dull. So, I decided that if I know how all things came about by reading history, then I would end up knowing everything. So when I read that verse that said learn science, I was ecstatic.  I just doubled down on my readings and started to focus more on scientific theories. I read about physics and the origin of the universe. I read on chemistry and the nature of matter and atomic bonds. By the time I reached biology, Darwinism quickly became very problematic. I thought really long and hard about how to counter it. I started to read into Intelligent Design and watched Islamic Scholars debate atheists. Still, it didn't make sense to me since the evidence for evolution was just overwhelming.

I voiced some of my concerns to a Muslim friend of mine in High School, and we had this long-winded conversation in which he convinced me he was right. I wish I remembered exactly what he said, but I remember him instilling upon me enough doubt to make me not drop the faith. Following that conversation, I decided it was time to commit to Islam finally. Here are a few things I started to do: 1. I started praying 5-7 times per day. 2. I read the Quran. 3. I would watch videos daily on what it meant to be a Muslim and how I can improve on my practice. 4. I would fast every once a while. 5. I went to the mosque whenever I could since it was far from where I lived. 6. I even helped start our prayer group in High School. In that group, we would all sit and eat together. We shared food, laughter and drinks. We were a brotherhood through and through, and for a time, it was good.

Reflecting on this period, I was one standard deviation from being in a CIA hit list. I literally messaged Benjamin Netanyahu on YT, encouraging him to stop his occupation of Palestine and to seak a peaceful approach when engaging with my brothers and sisters. Despite these friendly messages, some darker thoughts flowed through me. So I will say that there definitely is some credence to the idea that the more radical a Muslim is, the more you should worry about him, especially if he is a dude.

So when I say I genuinely believed 100% of what the Quran said, I really did. Some people will say: "Well, yea, I also used to be that way too." Well, I think I took it to another degree. For instance, when I used to walk, I would think to myself there are two people next to me—these immortal, holy beings made of light were sent by God to watch over my every move. I must, therefore, walk and behave in the utmost perfect ways to not only impress them but also uphold my honour. I was 16. 

4.The Masturbation/sleep problem:

Now I'm going to say that the period mentioned above lasted about 6 months. During this period, despite my holier than thou behaviour, I was still a man, and I had urges dawg. Every once in awhile, i.e, once a week, I would lament hypothetically at my hypocrisy. Repression creates obsession; truer words have never been spoken. The more I fought my urges not to masturbate, THE MORE I HAD TO. I created this whole inner mathematical system based on the number 19 since its a particular Islamic number. Basically, I would only masturbate around times when I could calculate 19. To me, it meant God approved of my addiction. I ended up using the time since my alarm clock was next to me. Its such warped logic don't look too much into it for when there is a will there is a way and I can get creative. Here are a few noteworthy examples:

1.Its 1:09 AM. Shit that's 19 to me since all you have to do is ignore the 0, and you have 19. 2. Its 1:45 AM. You guessed it 19. 3.7:00 PM. 19. 4. 12:07 PM. Unzip. 5. 12:17. PM shit, that's 19 too. 12+(1 times 7). Guess its Time for round 2.   6. 12:35 PM. FUCK I have to again you see 1+2+35=38, which is 19 times 2. EYYYY

[Insert COOMER MEME.]

To get over this dissonance, the Devil was responsible for these intrusive thoughts. I was a holy man of God, after all. But the voice that told me to unzip my pants and wax my carrot was the EXACT same voice that told me to go bed when I didn't want too. In the end, I knew deep down temptation doesn't come from the Devil. It comes from me. I decide what I do with my life, not some off-world entity. Keep in mind for later its just this thing I noticed. The Mosque event: So the day started like any other Friday prayer. The Imam began to speak about how God has no equal. He went on about how great and awesome of a sky Chad he was. He said that although he had no equal, there was another being that was insanely powerful as well. My eyes lit up, for I loved Islamic lore. He said that among non-God entities, the strongest was Gabriel. Eventually, he went on to say how to associate any other thing to God's power was literally the worst crime a human could commit. Shirk was worse than murder, he said. It literally guarantees you a trip to Hell.

And so given that I was human when I am told not to think about something, I immediately start to think about it. So I began to think well what if Gabriel stood up to God. I do not know what came over me but I got a literal panic attack from this. [Insert meme it was at this moment he knew he fucked up]

As the Imam had so eloquently put it to associate anything to God, you just committed the worst sin ever. I kept trying to tell myself not to think about it. Still, it just kept repeating it over and over again despite my sincerest efforts. I legit left the mosque and went back home and prayed all night, hoping God would forgive me.

The next morning was wild. I was basically schizophrenic since I kept thinking God was going to smite me for I have sinned. Crossing the street was so hard since I felt God would turn a car invisible and run me over or would simply kill me there where I stood. I lived in utter fear since I felt as though I had a bounty on my head. The inner world that I worked so hard to create had fallen apart from stupid, intrusive, thoughts. How the mighty have fallen.

5.Rethinking the Conspiracies:

A few days later, I started to rethink everything inside my head once I started to calm down. I felt as though my fears were way too irrational for the type of person I usually am and that I could not regain my sanity by thinking I was unworthy. I just simply had to work my way back up to the top fam.

During this time, I also began to rethink my understanding of the political world. For starters, as far back as I can remember, I have always been anti-authority. I believed in political realism, and so large corporations or governments always used their powers to oppress others. And so, what began as a soft-hearted liberal who thought 911 was an inside job turned into a cult of devil worshippers who rule the world and are trying to get us into the End Times.

This political worldview of a small elite who use the Devil to gain off-world power was further validated my understanding of Islam. In my view, the END WAS NEAR. Eventually, people took my ideas and thoughts in High School, and it became its own thing. Just to give you context on the time here, but it was when Lady Gaga dropped Bad Romance, and Kanye West and Jay-Z dropped Watch The Throne. We would analyze the videos and look for satanic imagery, but I always felt like that was a tad bit too far. Why are they being so apparent about something that's supposed to be secret? Predictive-Programming can only go so far after all. I began to pushback on this worldview, and I went so far back that Islam was caught in the cross-fire.

This turned into a three-month-long journey. I started by revisiting natural selection, and I realized that I duped myself. I just did not understand natural selection well enough to defend my position 6 months ago. I read The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. I binged watched George Carlin, and he really helped me overcome any anxiety I had towards leaving my faith because, like him, I really did want to believe in a deity, but I started to realize all of the inconsistencies. [I will elaborate more on this in a later part]

5. The social consequences: By the time I left my faith, I was open about it. I have always been vocal about what I believe in, and I simply told all of my prayer brothers why I stopped going to prayer. Needless to say, they weren't pleased about it. Unlike Elementary School and as a result of our immigration policies, High School had more Muslims in it, and many hated or criticized me for questioning the faith. As time went on, they became more toxic and vicious in their opposition, and so I called them out on their shit. I told them that I am on a journey like each and every one of them, and if they don't want to talk to me anymore, I would not care, and if they wanted to fight me, then bring it on. It was the last time any of them said anything to my face that was negative. Some of them never spoke to me again, some spoke to me less. I respected their choice and moved on; whether they respected mine mattered not. All that I cared about was that I felt that I was moving forward in my life. Eventually, the Muslim prayer group fell apart, and everything went back to normal in my High School.

Now, all of what I wrote happened about 10 years ago, and despite standing up to my fellow peers, I still haven't mustered up the courage to tell my parents. Honestly, I'm glad I still haven't. To this day, I have a good relationship with them, and they are far more religious now than they were. It seems like an egregiously unnecessary thing to do that will not only sour my relationship with them but also with their future grandkids. That just seems too selfish for my liking despite my usual vocal tendencies.

End of part 1.

[mostlymovieswithmax]

Midsommar [spoiler review]

Ari Aster has released his second feature film, Midsommar for which he writes and directs and it is a vast, expansive experience that threw me through a kaleidoscope of emotions, which amazingly is something I can’t say for a large number of horror movies coming out these days. That being said however, I’m not entirely sure that I could confidently class Midsommar as a horror. I don’t know if I’d really class it as any specific genre at all. It is certainly its own beast and for that, I would commend it highly. As something that is so dense with detail I will probably be jumping back and forth to moments in the story, giving this review a somewhat non-chronological structure. I can’t possibly touch on everything, especially as I’ve only seen it once. I believe it is something that needs multiple experiences to fully appreciate and is a movie I’d love to experience again.

The talent on display in regards to basically every technical aspect of the film is to be praised tremendously. I loved the cinematography and the look of the movie; the colours and the sets were all gorgeous. Mostly set in broad daylight, this stylistic choice is not something I’d immediately associate with a movie that was going for this type of vibe. Mixed with the set designs, the look of the movie made for a visual feast I couldn’t keep my eyes off of. What made the aesthetic qualities of the movie pop that little bit extra for me was the camera work and how it moved; I think of shots like when Dani goes into the bathroom in the first act and the camera pans over the door frame and twists to show her standing in the toilet of the plane. Or when they’re driving across Sweden and the camera flies over the car and turns to end up in an upside down position, perhaps foreshadowing what the characters are in for on this journey. It’s details like this that cracked a huge smile from me as I was watching, not to mention it separates Midsommar from so many other movies that try to depict suspense and terror. Furthermore, a feature that I found to be intensely thoughtful to accompany the fantastic visual display was the editing, or more specifically the cutting of shots. Often I see movies follow a certain formula when it comes to this facet; conversations cut together with a shot of one character and then a reverse shot to show another character; wide angles to establish locations or buildings, then cutting to the inside of the buildings themselves. There’s seldom ever much of a flare to the editing of a movie but I saw Midsommar capture that charmingly to add tension or even to highlight a joke. Accompanied by the score, a lot of these shots gave off an eerie tone that made me feel pleasantly uncomfortable. I loved the low, stretched out notes of the music that went that extra step further in order to make me feel slightly distressed. The sound design was incredible and generally it isn’t a facet I’d pick up on unless it was either done very well or very poorly. There were sections where even items like cutlery or people walking would catch my ear in a noticeably pleasing way. It shouldn’t be undervalued at all; great sound design can elevate a movie so much and I’m both glad and impressed at how well it was executed here.

Midsommar’s first act may have unfortunately contained a lot of my favourite moments. It introduced the main characters and worked to convey the relationships between Dani and Christian, as well as with Christian and his friends and how they all felt about Dani. I appreciated the time put into the dynamic between Christian and his friends and how they viewed Dani, although this was sort of thrown away once they got to Sweden; I never saw any sort of resentment from them towards Dani after that. Pelle obviously felt a lot differently about Dani, going as far as to kiss her during the latter stages of the movie. I’m not sure why it was necessary to have Pelle feel this way and I don’t understand what it added to the story besides forcing some conflict into Dani’s relationship with Christian, which was being achieved on his end regardless. Along with this, we are also shown the unfortunate and upsetting demise of Dani’s family which acts as a plot point in helping Dani to decide upon accompanying Christian and his friends to Europe. Seeing what happens to Dani’s family may have been the most affecting part of the movie for me. To top it off, her reaction was absolutely chilling; I love how Aster gets such raw and believable performances in his films. Dani’s loud, pained cries made me feel for her so much and forced a deep discomfort into me that carried through as the credits and title came on screen. Something that intrigued me quite a bit during this first act is how conversations were filmed through mirrors. We would see a couple of instances of characters talking to other characters that were reflected in a mirror. These static shots that carried on for a short while added to the tense atmosphere and the conversations or arguments that were taking place, imposing a kind of separation between those we could see outside the mirror and those we see inside the mirror. The main cast we’re introduced to in America are all good and give believable and compelling performances. Florence Pugh was fantastic as Dani; William Jackson Harper was decent; Will Poulter was great and one of the stand-outs from my experience. Vilhelm Blomgren portrayed quite an interesting character in Pelle. Christian seemed to be the only one that rubbed me the wrong way because he was such a massive dick the entire time and he was never redeemed. Not to say Jack Reynor’s acting was bad (quite the opposite in fact), I just didn’t sympathise with the character. There are aspects to the characters and the decisions they make that wound me up a bit but in terms of the acting, they were more or less solid.

The secondary characters, or mainly the Swedish locals didn’t stand out as individuals to me, possibly because they were portrayed more as a collective, which is fine but I would’ve liked to have seen some character development from at least a couple of them. Now, I say it’s unfortunate that I derived the most entertainment out of this first act because after that, Midsommar suffers quite a bit from some pacing issues. This movie is almost two and a half hours long and it didn’t feel like it needed to be, especially with a plot that only allows for so much exploration. The plot itself is quite basic, but it is displayed as something so grandiose in scope that it comes across as being eminently pretentious. Could it be the insanely short production time that went into making Midsommar that makes it feel fairly lacking in a few areas? Or is this genuinely the cut that Aster wanted? Results from a quick search of the movie told me that around half an hour of its running time was cut due to the content it presented. Consequently, this will make the home video release different to some degree than the cinema release as it may come to our TV screens as a director’s cut. If this is in fact the case (and I do intend to buy the blu-ray upon its release) then could it be that we’ve not even seen the movie that Ari Aster wanted us to see? Will a director’s cut make it better, worse, or simply just longer? I for one am assuredly excited to see what the end result is.

A big problem I had with Midsommar is how early it peaked in regards to the horror. One of the first things the main characters are presented with upon arriving at this rural community is the idea of people being separated into groups depending on their age: the concept that they didn’t consider themselves adults until a certain age; that they didn’t work until they were old enough to; that they died when they reached a specific year of their life. They’re then told that a ceremony will be held the next day and while our main characters ask what it is, we see William Jackson Harper’s character, Josh smiling in a sly “I know what it is” kind of way. His friends try to ask what he knows, to which he does not divulge anything. What follows this is a scene wherein two elderly people sacrifice themselves by falling off of a cliff in front of the other members of the community. To me, this scene was beautifully unsettling for a number of reasons. Despite expecting them to jump initially, I was still shocked at how well it was executed both in relation to the story and in a technical sense. At first, the woman jumps off of the cliff, dying instantly with a bloodcurdling crunch. Of course the characters from America and the characters we are introduced to earlier from England are understandably shocked. Even Josh reels back in surprise which I found to be a little strange considering how he acted as though he knew what was going on beforehand. What did he think was going to happen if not that? We’re never told. As the old man approaches the edge of the cliff and the English and Americans clue in to what is happening, they react as I’m sure we all would to what happens as he prepares to jump. He lands in a much more awkward fashion with a smaller sound that is no less distressing. Only this time, he doesn’t die... The scene is then racked up a notch as he screams out in pain at having his leg torn off and his body broken on impact. The rest of the Swedish onlookers scream in pain with him and it is terrifying to hear. I imagine this painted a picture to most viewers that the locals we are presented with in this rural Swedish village are all somewhat spiritually connected; are able to empathise with one another's emotions in a way that makes them able to feel the sensations of those they’re close to. Undoubtedly the torment doesn’t stop there and Aster has to quite literally hammer home what this ceremony is all about. In order to put the old man out of his misery, a group of people take it in turns to smash his head in with a large mallet, causing further stress to the main characters, but stopping all of the Swedish inhabitants from screaming in agony. That whole scene… was awesome! I loved it and it stands to be maybe my favourite sequence from the movie. The unfortunate part is that after this happens, I expected everything to amp up a bit and start showing me more uncomfortable and fucked up things but sadly this wasn’t the case. In a sense, it was as if the movie blew its load on this earlier scene and didn’t focus on too many other stand-out plot beats which was pretty disappointing.  For some reason, Will Poulter’s character ‘Mark’ had slept through this ceremony and as a result, hadn’t experienced what his friends had. Whether this was done for a specific reason I’m not picking up on or simply so that he could continue to crack jokes is beyond me. I will give credit where credit is due: this movie made me laugh when it wanted me to. The inclusion of comedy in Midsommar was expertly handled and never made it come across as a lame horror-comedy.

Prior to this and upon arriving in the green fields of rural Sweden, the protagonists all get high and lie around in the grass. While the comedy kicks in here, it is also notable for the reaction of Dani as she starts to feel the grief of losing her family once more and urgently tries to get rid of it. I liked this scene and how it played slightly with the visuals which foreshadowed the inclusion of drugs and their effects later on in the movie.  Sadly with what happens to Dani’s family in the first act, I’m not sure it was that purposeful overall, despite liking how it was depicted. Yes, this event does explain how Dani acts for sections of the film and yes I did like seeing it act as a catalyst for why she goes to Sweden in the first place, but I’m not sure it was hugely purposeful when referring to the movie as a whole. It never came back in a way that affected the narrative or the story that was being told. It was just something that happened to the protagonist that caused her a great deal of upset. Almost as if they could have died in any number of terrible circumstances and it wouldn’t have made a difference. While I really liked the characters�� first drug trip sequence, I got worried early on that Midsommar was going to take an approach that put the trips and the drugs at the forefront of the movie, akin to something like Shrooms (which was just awful) and sure, they played a big part but it did more to enhance what was actually happening rather than fabricate a story that didn’t really take place, just to have them wake up in a field exclaiming how crazy their collective trip was.

As the characters start to become more and more under the influence through the drugs that they’re given, we see the world warp around them. Trees ripple and form faces; the food would shift; flowers would pulse in accordance to Dani’s breathing; characters’ facial features would distort. Dani starts seeing grass sprouting from her hands and feet, or vines mimicking her movements to show how she’s progressively becoming part of this society. Characters like Christian however start experiencing the drugs in a negative and more aggressive way, as if they’re being attacked by senses! There is unease and terror in how Christian experiences the festival, whereas Dani’s experience is comparatively happier. The contrast of how Dani was being accepted and Christian was being rejected was thrilling to see, markedly in how Dani’s demeanour changed as she found herself integrating with everyone else. Although I must say I’m not sure why they kept drinking that drugged water that looked like muddy urine. Christian almost refuses to drink it until he’s told “it’s spring water with special properties” which was all the information he needed apparently! What properties were they? Doesn’t matter; he drank it anyway. The moronic decisions manage to manifest more throughout the movie, however. Regrettably we don’t get to see much of Mark and Josh’s experience with the hallucinogens or even much of the festival because their time is cut short in a manner I didn’t find all too entertaining. Mark is the first to go from the original team. Due to urinating on a sacred tree, he is murdered off-screen and has his face cut off. This could’ve made for a superb scene if it were done right but the way it was handled came across as hollow. Elements akin to this could have worked to convey unease and terror, but they are implied rather than shown which can work in some circumstances but I would’ve liked to have seen something more memorable and haunting instead of seeing an after-product and thinking “okay well I guess that happened”. Show him being mutilated, you cowards! You don’t even have to show it; just possibly what happens in the lead up! It would’ve made for a far more compelling story beat! All that happens is a girl comes up to him as he’s eating with everyone and asks to show him something. His response is just  “she’s gonna show me” and leaves. He doesn’t question what he’s about to be shown; he just gets up and wanders off with a girl he doesn’t know in a foreign country, going purely off of Pelle’s word that everyone there is great! What a way to force that in! Josh is next on the kill list because he took some pictures of a sacred book when he knew he wasn’t supposed to because either he’s just insensitive to other peoples’ cultures, or he thinks it’s okay as long as it’s for his thesis. After this happened I kind of dropped off. With most of my favourite characters gone and the remaining characters questioning everything less and less, not only was there not much left to ground the film in a world that would consider the things that were happening to be deeply disturbing, but also from the protagonists’ perspectives as well.

I’ll acknowledge I’ve been railing on this film a considerable amount... with good reason. But despite being heavy on the criticisms, I still consider Midsommar to be a good, even great movie! I adore films that beg me to revisit them and learn more about them with each watch. Sprinkled throughout Midsommar are a tonne of small details and I’m sure I didn’t pick up on everything; in fact I hope I didn’t. Along with strange “what the hell?” moments like putting scissors under the baby’s pillow (I think that’s what it was anyway) that I still don’t understand, there also exists things that maybe don’t need to be thought about but are still nice to see included, such as goats and cows that took the immersion into this countryside village a notch higher. Or to draw from more obvious details that add depth to the people: going back to how they would all scream in unison, for instance to empathise with another’s emotions; when Dani sees Christian cheating on her, all the girls she is with cry and scream with her, possibly to experience what she’s feeling and/or to show her that they consider her to be part of their people, which also manages to contrast with earlier in the movie wherein she’s with Christian in her apartment but she’s the only one experiencing the intense pain as Christian tries to comfort her.

Upon entering the third act I started to wonder what the actual point in Midsommar was. Could it possibly be one big metaphor for grief and how we can choose to deal with it? There didn’t seem to be that grand of a point being made, either in the relationship between Dani and Christian, the relationship between America and Europe, or just the presence or influence of cults and religion in different parts of the world; those ideas seemed somewhat surface level. So I can’t help but think it was trying to convey a more metaphorical meaning. Either that or its meaning was just “Europe’s weird, man”. In this way, the finale didn’t leave much of an impact besides leaving me feeling quite hollow and disappointed, wondering what all that had been in service to.  I can’t say Midsommar blew me away with much of what it showed me. There were a few decisions made which weren’t all that original in how they were executed and there were some dumb moments that had me questioning why they were included at all. Yet I would never say it isn’t unique in what it achieves; I can’t disregard all of the jaw-dropping technical showmanship and the interesting, creepy ideas that managed to meld horror and suspense and mystery and comedy into something I simply don’t know how to categorise. I could talk for ages about this film and still not touch on absolutely everything about it. Ari Aster is clearly a talented guy and I can’t wait to pick up the blu-ray and watch it a million more times. Along with that, I am for sure going to see whatever he puts out next. These are the kind of movies I love seeing and supporting and I honestly can’t recommend Midsommar enough because it’s something I feel will resonate with different people in different ways, evoking more than a few interpretations of it. It is so worth the watch.

★★★½ 

[flicky1984]

The Sega Arcade Revolution: A History in 62 Games

Flicky (September 1984)

Maze games were very popular during the first half of the 1980s. Hits like Pac-Man had made large sums of money for Sega’s rivals, and though the video arcade industry was no longer moving at the same speed it had during its early years, the genre was still popular enough that publishers kept up a steady rhythm of releases. Sega looked to its R&D division to come up with something that could keep pace with Namco and Bally/Midway. What it got was a little blue bird named Flicky.

Flicky’s development team was led by Youji Ishii, a Sega designer who would one day be responsible for the classic game Fantasy Zone. Having joined Sega in April 1978 after graduating with a degree in electrical engineering, Ishii was interested in creating games that were bright and colorful, and he believed that his works should be happy experiences for players. He started working on sound effects for games like Deep Scan and Zaxxon and got his first chance at design with 1983’s Up’n Down, a pseudo–3D arcade driving game. It sold enough for Sega to assign him to another title, one that was likely more important to Ishii’s career as it was to his employer’s bottom line. Sega meant for Flicky to be its response to Namco’s Mappy, emulating the time-based maze dynamic that was popular at the time. The visual style and gameplay Ishii had in mind would give Sega the competitor it wanted (Derboo, “Flicky”; “Fantasy Zone—2014”).

Flicky put players in the role of a blue sparrow who must rescue her chick friends, called Chirps (In Japan, they were called “Piopio,” a misspelling of the Japanese word “pyopyo” which means “baby bird”). The chicks had run amok inside an apartment building, and Flicky had to gather them all and guide them to the exit. Hungry cats called “Tiger” in the Western version and “Nyannyan” in Japanese actively chased the chicks, as did an iguana named Iggy (Choro in Japan). Touching the chicks put them in line behind Flicky, who had to avoid enemies while bringing all the chicks to the door. Items such as cups and trumpets were scattered throughout the stages, and Flicky could shoot these items at the cats and iguana to temporarily incapacitate them. The Nyannyan couldn’t hurt the baby birds, but they could kill Flicky with a single touch. The game lasted 48 stages before looping with a harder difficulty (Derboo, “Flicky”).

Ishii’s adorable character designs were brought to life by the talented hand of Yoshiki Kawasaki, a young artist who had joined the company because it was the closest job offer to his home. He had been a big fan of pinball and driving games, playing in the dark arcades of Hibiya, Japan, so the chance to join Sega was an exciting opportunity for him. Kawasaki was hired at Sega in 1976 as a designer. Though he was an artist, he started out in the purchasing department, and he spent many an hour playing Head-On. His work soon came to the attention of Hideki Sato, who recognized his talent and moved him over to the visual design division of Sega’s research and development department. His first assignment was the SG-1000 version of Golgo 13. After working on the laserdisc game Albegas and another release called Sinbad Mystery, Kawasaki began to long for something more interesting. He got his chance when he was handed the proposal for Flicky from the game’s lead designer. Kawasaki would finally have his big chance to put his programming abilities to greater use (“Interview: Yoshiki Kawasaki”).

When Kawasaki was assigned to Flicky, all that existed was a simple four-page proposal. There was to be a labyrinth and a simple game character. The concept was just a derivation of Namco’s Pac-Man, where players would collect dots in the maze. Ishii liked maze games, and he knew he wanted the game to follow that motif. He was certain of one thing: Flicky would not penalize players for falling through the floors as Mappy did. This was the starting design premise for the game and the reason why a bird was chosen as the main character (“Fantasy Zone—2014”). The problem was that nothing was detailed; there wasn’t even a description of the game’s background. The character profiles were also incredibly vague, reading “since the maze can be simple lines, the characters can look simple too. You can leave the background black.” Kawasaki based the main character, Flicky, on a lyric from a popular 1977 song called “Densen Ondo,” which referred to three sparrows on an electric line. Kawasaki wondered why birds would move on electric lines when they could simply fly. He figured that perhaps they jumped, so he decided to have Flicky jump (or “heroically jump,” as he put it) instead of fly. The Chirps were an evolution of the dots in the maze. Kawasaki revealed how he developed the little birds in an interview for Sega of Japan’s website:

The dots were originally really just dots. When you collected one it would disappear. But then, I thought it would be interesting if the dots didn’t disappear but instead line up. So, I made the dots line up behind Flicky. That’s when I really started fleshing things out. I asked if I could make the dots 8 × 8 pixels big, but in the end, I couldn’t do anything with 8 × 8 pixels. Then I thought: If they were little birds, I could do it [“Interview: Yoshiki Kawasaki”].

At first, he simply had the Chirps follow their bird friend back to the exit door. That was too simple, so he had them scatter when touched by a cat. When it proved too easy to gather up all the Chirps, Kawasaki spiced things up by having some of them race off in different directions. He gave these “Bad Chirps” sunglasses so that players would be able to recognize them (“Interview: Yoshiki Kawasaki”).

Creating those cute little chicks with attitude wasn’t very easy; none of the character models were. Kawasaki had to use a rudimentary tool that was similar to Sega’s TV Oekaki, a tablet-like device that came with a light pen. It plugged directly into televisions and was made available commercially for Sega’s SG-1000 in 1985. Using such a simple tool was problematic, particularly getting it to draw single pixels. It would often draw three or four at once (“Interview: Yoshiki Kawasaki”).

Kawasaki’s original level design had horizontal lines on the screen that resembled power lines. These lines were to act as the maze walls; however, once Flicky’s characters were completed, Kawasaki found the lines to be dull and unengaging. It was only after gazing out the window at an apartment building across the street from his third-floor window in Sega’s R&D annex building that Kawasaki found the perfect setting. Why not have the action take place in an apartment building? The residential setting let Kawasaki insert household items, like cups and baby bottles—things that would be found in a home with children. They would also help Flicky fight off Tiger and Iggy (“Interview: Yoshiki Kawasaki”).

Flicky played differently than most games of its type, most notably in the way the main character jumped. The control was very floaty and heavy with inertia. Players had to time their jumps correctly, particularly when coming down from the top of the screen. Ishii believed this was the product of the hardware limitations of the System 1 arcade board. These restrictions also influenced the design of the labyrinth stages, which did a decent job of creating the illusion of size. Ishii commented about this challenge in a 2014 interview with STG Gameside. “With Flicky, we challenged ourselves to make the stages feel like wide, expansive spaces despite the tiny memory available” (“Fantasy Zone–2014”).

Ishii was also able to make Flicky seem larger than it really was using free-scrolling stages. Players could move either left or right almost indefinitely, giving the stages a larger sense of scale. The inspiration for this design came from two sources: Williams Electronics’ 1981 smash Defender and a far-lesser known Commodore 64 title named Drol, which involved a flying and shooting robot. “Basically,” Ishii explained to Shooting Gameside in 2014, “I just like that style. I like how you can rush forward, then turn around really quick and retreat if you need to.” Ishii would revisit this design for his 1986 hit, Fantasy Zone (“Fantasy Zone—2014; Ishii).

The stages themselves weren’t random scenery. There was an overall theme to them that was very close to the team, particularly Kawasaki. As the gameplay centered on the concept of saving children, Kawasaki’s group wanted this objective to be Flicky’s driving theme. It wasn’t just about bringing some birds to a door for points; there was more to it than that. Kawasaki wanted players to feel the maternal instinct of protecting defenseless children from predators. He felt they could sympathize, even though the chicks were merely game characters on a screen. After all, Flicky was a sparrow, not a chicken, and while she was only the chicks’ friend and not their mother (despite being labeled as such in the SG-1000 port of the game) she could still want to protect them. “Children face a variety of dangers when they go outside,” he commented in a 2016 interview, “and the feeling of ‘wanting to return them safely to the nest’ is something that I think is experienced 80 The Sega Arcade Revolution by not just parents, but anyone who is around children. And it’s that emotion that drives Flicky, a sparrow, to protect the chicks, even though their parents are actually chickens.” Examples of this design are present throughout the game. The bicycle and balloons (which symbolize dreams) on the title screen, the apartment resident in the bonus stage windows—all were meant to drive the point home that the chicks were children who were in mortal danger. The later stages developed this narrative. For example, the outer space background represented the future, one that would be cut short if Tiger and Iggy got their way. Such themes were not uncommon to games made by Kawasaki. None of his games featured characters dying, and he preferred to make friendlier and cuter games to counteract the bad reputation arcades had in Japan at the time (“Interview: Yoshiki Kawasaki”; Szczepaniak).

In development for a year, Flicky could have been much larger than it finally was. The design team had around 100 stages done but few backgrounds, and there was very little memory space left. Kawasaki opted to keep only four backgrounds, differentiating them by color, and the stages were reduced to a total of 40. After playtesting the game, the team added a monster that would appear in windows and breathe fire. Iggy was also conceived at this point, primarily to keep players from standing still in a stage. He ran throughout the level, making it unsafe to remain too long in a single spot. Kawasaki wasn’t too fond of the lizard because he was added at the end of development. He had wanted Iggy to be an insect, but his lack of motivation for the character made the design look more reptilian. During Flicky’s development, Kawasaki developed something of a reputation for taking such shortcuts, a behavior that earned him the humorous nickname “Sabori Kawasaki,” or “Slacker Kawasaki” (“Interview: Yoshiki Kawasaki”)

Flicky changed names twice during development. The original title of Busty was switched to Flippy due to a trademark issue in the U.S. (Bally/Midway also noted that “busty” was American slang for women with large breasts). The next choice, Flippy, was eventually deemed to sound too much like Mappy, so the title was changed again (“Interview: Yoshiki Kawasaki”; Szczepaniak). The game—with its final title of Flicky—was released in Japan in May 1984 and worldwide that September. A decent seller, it would sadly never receive a sequel. Ports of Flicky were released on multiple home consoles and later in compilations, and Flicky herself has made several cameos in other Sega games but has otherwise been forgotten as a character. The closest she’s come to fame has been in Sega’s Sonic the Hedgehog series as one of the animals released when Sonic defeated Eggman and cleared a zone. All the bird friends that Sonic rescues are called “flickies” and resemble her (“Flicky”).

While it’s unfortunate that Flicky has not been given a second chance, the original game remains an important step for both Ishii and Sega. Much of what Ishii learned from making Flicky would manifest itself in a major way in his masterpiece Fantasy Zone only two years later. His experience with Flicky would also be influential in his later work on other platformers like Teddy Boy Blues (both arcade and Master System versions) and Ristar (Genesis). Sega, on the other hand, got a solid maze-chase game that provided valuable experience to someone who would become one of its most talented and prolific producers. Ishii was part of a major pool of talent that would explode over the next few years, soaring to incredible heights on the wings of a little blue bird.

[slashertalks]

Overlord (2018)

Boy. Where do I start with this movie? I guess let’s begin with a little bit of history: in 2013, a movie called Frankenstein’s Army was released. Back when Chiller was still a channel (and I wasn’t bitter as all fuck about it being shut down), Frankenstein’s Army was shown on it a handful of times... and I watched it, a handful of times. It stunk like shit.

Watching Frankenstein’s Army was like watching really high quality footage of a haunted house. The minimal amount of plot we got was completely forgettable, there was no time to get to know any of the characters we’re supposed to give a shit about, and there was no real climax. Guess what was cool? The set design and creature effects. Frankenstein’s Army was almost entire practical effects and they were pretty damn badass— that’s why I say it’s like watching a haunted house. About 80% of the movie is POV footage, and you’re getting dragged all over the place. The experience of watching Frankenstein’s Army was not at all unlike watching a walkthrough of a Halloween Horror Nights haunted house. The effects are cool, the sets would be awesome to wander around, but any storyline goes in one ear and out the other.

What does this have to do with Overlord? Well, they’re both World War II movies about nazis experimenting with turning corpses into monsters. My previous viewership informed my watching of Overlord, and so it’s important to have that bit of context as well. Now, on to the actual movie I’m reviewing.

World War II horror movies are an interesting little niche in the horror genre. There’re a few of them, but I feel like they aren’t very widespread. I can only think of three off the top of my head, including Overlord and Frankenstein’s Army (the third being Dead Snow). That’s not to say there aren’t more war movie/horror movie crossovers (Dog Soldiers comes to mind), but specifically World War II ones. They almost always turn out feeling like a late entry in an established horror franchise (really fucking cheesy) — it’s impossible to make Nazis any more horrifying than they already are. There’s also a very real risk of trivializing actual atrocities committed during the war. I think that’s why Dead Snow and Frankenstein’s Army stray so broadly into the ridiculous. By making use of campy scenarios, they distance themselves from the gritty realities, somewhat alleviating that risk of trivialization. Frankenstein’s Army focuses on a group of Russian soldiers (versus American or British soldiers like is most often seen in US WWII films) and makes use of heavy steampunk imagery, while Dead Snow doesn’t even take place during the war. Overlord is the first I can think of (and that I’ve seen) that plays its concept seriously.

Getting into the actual plot of this movie... it’s not that good. It’s really, honestly not. Overlord is, at its very core, a mediocre movie. This is a fault of the whole WWII/horror niche, however; Overlord simply failed to escape it. It is very engaging, though. It’s well-acted, we get non-Nazi/monster related interactions between all the characters so they feel real. Their deaths hit you and are, at times, genuinely surprising. What initially begins like a plain war movie blends near-seamlessly into horror territory with the audio-based introduction of Chloe’s sick aunt. I said, in my post hinting at this review, that I haven’t had such a visceral reaction since my very first viewing of the original Texas Chain Saw Massacre; this was not a joke in the slightest. I spent the whole time I watched the movie talking at the screen! I can’t remember another movie I watched that got me to do this since watching TCM.

I talked because the characters made stupid decisions, and a lot of them. I talked because oh my god what is HAPPENING to that dude!? I talked because goddamn is this movie engaging! You will NOT be able to look away, I can guarantee that. Maybe it’s mediocre, but you take all the aspects of the film that work and you have got one good fucking ride of a movie. It’s not going to blow you away, I’m not putting it on any Top Tens, but would I watch it again? Hell yeah. Would I buy it on DVD? Shit, why not? What happens to Pilou Asbæk’s character will fuck you up (you’ll see it coming from a mile away, but it will STILL fuck you up).

Overlord is not a new classic of the horror genre. It’s not an icon in the making, hell, it’s not even that original as a horror movie— you might think, but, uh... Frankenstein’s Army. The films are basically siblings. Overlord learned from its big brother’s mistakes, though, and the resulting film is just.... fun. Overlord is a fun horror film. I LOVE when a horror film gets me talking at the screen! I love getting to sit there going “oh no, buddy, oh no” while a Nazi super-zombie tears Wyatt Russell a new asshole. You have to take Overlord completely at face value. Don’t read into it (there’s nothing to read into), just sit down expecting a couple hours of enjoyable gore and fairly decent scares.

If you find yourself trying to pick a new zombie movie to watch one weekend and you want something that’s a little bit weird but still a whole shitload of fun? Watch Overlord. I sure wasn’t disappointed 👌🏻

[gascon-en-exil]

I Liked Fates Before It Was Cool!: Conquest Part 1

Prologue

Opening Chapters

Chapters 6-14, in which if you squint really hard there might be a plot in there somewhere.

Chapter 6

But let’s not be unfair right from the start. Conquest offers what I consider the best version of Chapter 6, both as a narrative introduction to the route and as a gameplay challenge fitting the difficulty of what’s to come. Birthright is basically just Ryoma soloing Xander and Revelation throws you against generics, but here you have to make use of all the Nohr royals to defeat all but one unit on the Hoshidan side - and being able to take care of Ryoma quickly enough nets you a prize of sorts in that you don’t have to beat up an unarmed Sakura. The chapter also sets up the tense undercurrent of Conquest that Corrin chose wrong, that the Hoshidans (except Takumi) think they’ve been brainwashed and that their love for their adopted siblings is meaningless. On the one hand it feels rather spineless that what is supposedly a villain campaign is hesitant to allow Corrin to own their choice and makes it sound like blatant railroading by the player, but on the other there’s something to be said for the contrast between how Xander and Ryoma deal with Corrin’s decision. After two refusals in Birthright Xander is happy to label Corrin a traitor and becomes determined to kill them for their choice, whereas Ryoma persists in his brainwashing theory and in so doing denies Corrin’s agency completely. That actually works fairly well as setup for an antagonist - if we allow that Ryoma is one, of course, and the game itself seems uncomfortable with the concept.

Chapter 7

...And all my goodwill toward this story dries up almost immediately. There’s flat villainy, there’s a bunch of self-doubt from Corrin over their choice, and there’s foreshadowing that only adds to the confusion if you already know what’s going on. It’s kind of a mess, and it’s pretty much all downhill from here.

I have little to say about this chapter as it stands, except that it’s appropriately difficult and that the conflict feels fitting in terms of tone and atmosphere...even though it only exists because of the aforementioned flat villainy. I instead want to zero in on the moment pictured above, in which Garon “prays” to Anankos to deliver unto him the plot of the next few chapters in front of Corrin and Iago and the Nohr royals. Bizarrely, it’s Iago who goes furthest in calling Garon out on how absurd this is, though not even he bothers to ask who or what Anankos is or if he’s the same entity as Nohr’s Dusk Dragon.

Ok, I know I might be the only person in the fandom who regularly complains about the absence of pseudo-Catholic elements in Fates when they’re present in every other game in the series, but on a fundamental level I do get it. The priest -> sage/war monk class line from Awakening was given to Hoshido, so it makes perfect sense that those classes would be shifted over to the blend of Shintoism and Buddhism that comprises Japanese spirituality. It’s also not unheard of for a nation or group of people in FE to worship a dark dragon/god in lieu of the main organized faith, ex. the Lopytrians from Jugdral, Rigel’s Duma Faithful, and Plegia’s Grimleal. As seen with Salem from FE5 and Tharja and Henry from 13 it’s even fairly common for playable dark magic users in the games to come from the ranks of those faiths. I therefore don’t have a problem with the theory that there’s a theological element to Nohr’s dark mages and that it ties into the Dusk Dragon - who may or may not also be Anankos - in some way. The problem is that we never see any definitive evidence that this is the case, not even enough to understand how unusual it is in this scene to see Garon praying to Anankos. When Iago sounds like the closest thing to a voice of a reason you know the plot’s got some problems. For all we’re told Nohr’s clergy are just bookworms moonlighting as strippers with a crow feather fetish.

Chapter 8

It’s strange how easy it is to forget this guy exists since he only appears in Conquest in this one chapter, but the Ice Tribe maids do indeed have a father. Where was he during Chapter 17 of Birthright?

This brings up an interesting - or as some would probably call it, lazy - quirk of Fates’s map design. The early and midgame sections of all three routes are full of maps that get reused across routes, or different maps of the same location like the previous one and Birthright Chapter 18. I’m feeling rather charitable about this decision personally, for two reasons:

1) In most cases the reused maps are approached from different angles and feature different, sometimes opposing gimmicks. The Ice Tribe village map, for example, sees you racing to visit as many villages as possible in Conquest but encourages you to avoid them in Birthright, and the function of the Dragon Veins in the middle of the route differs depending on the route.

2) Fates’s worldbuilding needs all the help it can get, and visiting the same locations in multiple routes adds a degree of continuity that the story on its own often struggles to display.

See, cost-cutting measures don’t have to be a bad thing if you use them creatively! 

This chapter also deserves some praise for having a more plausible point of conflict than its Wind Tribe counterpart in Birthright. Instead of Iago’s shenanigans Elise grabs the conflict ball because no one taught her basic diplomacy, and Corrin saves the day through their first of many acts of pacifism on this route. It is a bit strange to have the characters talking about how Corrin’s army spared everyone just after you’ve finished mowing down a bunch of generics, but not unlike Niles I can use my imagination.

Chapter 9

A wild loli appears! Ugh...Nyx is one of several characters in Fates who could have been interesting with better execution. As it is, her best use is as a punchline or somebody’s fap material of course.

This chapter has nothing to do with her though really. Instead it’s just a set of contrivances - how did a Hoshidan force make it so deeply into Nohr so quickly (for comparison, Corrin’s army reaches the same location in Birthright by Chapter 20), and why did they bring Azura all this way with them if their only plan was to kill her? I do appreciate the reminder that Nohr and Hoshido are actually at war now as the rest of the Conquest’s early plot is more concerned with putting down rebellions, but some kind of logical reason for Azura’s reappearance would have been nice.

Still, this chapter goes further than most at showing an explicit example of Hoshidan racism, even if Azura is quick to absolve the royals (except Takumi, I assume) of any wrongdoing. I genuinely have no idea if we’re meant to interpret this as Stockholm Syndrome, or if the writers couldn’t bear to vilify all of Hoshido even for one chapter.

Chapter 10

Like a number of other defense maps in the series, this is the most infamous chapter of its game, and depending on who you’re using and how it can indeed live up to its reputation. I don’t care for how this makes for an uneven bump in Conquest’s difficulty curve, but with such varied chapter goals and mechanics on this route that was likely inevitable at some point.

For all that it’s a memorable piece of gameplay though there’s not too much to talk about in terms of story. Takumi is established as a strong and motivated antagonist right from his first reappearance after the route split, and as I said back in Birthright it’s a good look for him. He and Oboro are among the few Hoshidans who really make more sense as antagonists than as allies, and even though it devolves into yet another round of possession in the end there’s something very real to Takumi’s feelings of betrayal and inadequacy, to say nothing of his grief over his mother which unlike in Birthright barely comes up otherwise.

Also, Camilla is here, but with only a bit of retainer banter to flesh her out she’s more or less the same as FE10 Haar in Chapter 2-E of that game: overleveled flying death, with only a few stray bits of effective damage to worry about.

Chapter 11

The Sevenfold Sanctuary appears again, this time with tricky skill combos to contend with like archers with Counter and ninjas with Lunge as well as more of the by now common enemy pair-ups and a boss with an unfair enemy-only weapon. Does anyone else find it strange just how many such weapons exist in Fates?

In this route it’s the Hoshidans who get to troll Corrin, dragging the Rainbow Sage up Mount Sagesse for no real reason and doing their best to not sound like they’re invading a sovereign territory and kidnapping its most venerable inhabitant who also happens to be an ancient dragon. Granted the Nohrians’ mission feels a bit confused as well, as dialogue vacillates between Garon wanting to conquer Notre Sagesse and everyone else wanting the Rainbow Sage’s power. The two sort of come together in the end with Iago ordering the Sage’s death, though if there’s a logical explanation for Garon/Anankos’s continued desire to see Corrin suffer but not die it’s beyond me. That Corrin gets an eventual sword power-up out of the deal feels almost accidental on this route.

Incidentally, while he doesn’t get the gravity of a potential death scene in this version I do like how Kaze joins up with the Nohrians. It conveys the subtext of his connection to Corrin while not coming across as a weird obsession like his approximate counterpart Silas does in Birthright. Speaking of which, I’ve noticed that Silas gets a decent amount of the protagonist chorus roles in Conquest even when some of the royals are available. Eh...they are supposed to be BFFs.

Chapter 12

Now that’s just not as funny as the version of this picture with Takumi.

Elise comes down with a case of the plot, and as a consequence we bear witness to Ryoma’s most infamous act of dickishly non-heroic behavior. I’ve seen it argued back and forth that Ryoma withholding medicine from Elise in an attempt to coerce Corrin into returning to Hoshido constitutes a war crime, but regardless of semantics it is a surprisingly underhanded tactic for someone like him. Now that I think about it Birthright shows off this side of him as well, when he disguises himself as a Nohrian soldier at Cheve to ambush Leo. Not exactly becoming a shining exemplar of heroism here awkwardly forced into the antagonist role...but then he goes off about how his retainers have a more righteous cause than Xander’s and suddenly I lose what little sympathy I had for him. Sure, one of the retainers he’s insulted is Peri, but on the whole that’s an eminently hateable level of self-righteous posturing.

This chapter is quite fun, if a bit chaotic with all the random effects from the pots. For some reason I always forget about the turn limit, which can become an unexpected source of stress when there are shrine maidens spamming status staves to slow you down and such. Fates (and Conquest specifically) is the one game other than Thracia that frequently turns enemy staff wielders into serious threats, and this chapter combined with Azama’s Hexing Rod in the previous one show that off thoroughly.

Chapter 13

Pictured: a subtle and nuanced depiction of villainy.

Aside from his sudden reappearance and this one still, Hans is actually...not that bad here though? Corrin points out how weird it is that they (and the player) are expected to forgive him after he attempted to kill Corrin at the Bottomless Canyon, and the worst atrocities of Hans’s army - particularly Scarlet’s death - are effectively gruesome because they’re left for the player to imagine. It’s comparable to how FE8 handles the ghastly presence of Orson’s wife. It is pretty silly how much is made over Hans clearly enjoying his work when Peri was recruited in the last chapter and Reina is also in this game (in this chapter, even), or that explicit bloodlust among the playable cast has shown up before in past FEs in characters like FE7 Karel. Player-centered morality, yay!

In any case, there’s also a good deal of genuine character complexity on display in this chapter too. Takumi is still consumed by grief and rage and lashes out specifically at the bond Corrin shares with the Nohrian sisters, calling attention to his increasing isolation from even his own siblings. Between taking an arrow in a cutscene and last chapter’s illness Elise just can’t catch a break, can she? Camilla too gets to show a rare bit of character for this route, encouraging Corrin to keep their head down and go along with Garon’s orders because self-centered pragmatism is how she’s learned to survive in situations where she can’t solve problems with violence and/or sex. 

Chapter 14

What an incredibly effective disguise. No one would ever recognize her. 

Ok, ok, the audience at the opera is seeing her from a distance and obscured by all the water effects, but it’s still pretty dumb that Corrin of all people can’t put two and two together here.

Honestly, as much as I enjoy the opera house setting and praised its appearance in Birthright this chapter all falls into that same generally silly vein. There’s again no logical explanation provided for Garon’s trip to Nestra, the enemy combatants on this map are a random squad of Hoshidans unrelated to the unfolding story, Keaton’s recruitment has even less buildup than Kaden’s did, and everything culminates in Leo teaching Corrin the obscure and arcane art of lying and in so doing bequeathing him with a sword upgrade because that’s what passes for (anti)heroism on this route. There’s not even much in the way of gameplay to discuss, which is disappointing when contrasted against the Birthright version. 

I would however like to close this post by reiterating the point I made at the start: so far, this route is severely lacking in an actual plot. All of Corrin’s movements since returning to Nohr have been directed by Garon (and Anankos by extension, though his motives remain vague even if you know the full story). In a way this helps to reinforce the feeling that the Nohrian royals are trapped in abusive situation, though that would be an unusually deep psychological reading of what is in reality an unfocused plot. The following chapter and what comes of it ought to be proof enough that any similarities between Conquest’s narrative structure and the familial issues of its main cast are purely coincidental. 

Next time: Conquest Chapter 15 - 20

[animalslifestyle]

Strangers Imprisoned Must Pick Who Lives And Who Dies In A Disastrous Extraterrestrial Experiment | Circle 2015

Circle doesn’t appear to have much going for it at first sight. It’s low-budget, with corny, simple dialogue, and its idea leads to rather a generic genre entertainment. Set almost completely in one room, while a circle of individuals votes on who to take off one by one until only one remains, it appears to be the type of glorified game show you’d find in the depths of a bargain bin or deep on Netflix.

But Circle is much more than its simple appearance. It pulls current identity politics full circle, shocking us with some ingenious sci-fi twists along the way. It’s ruthless, revelatory, and enormously important.

Circle hits a lot of my interests and preferences very directly, thus my enjoyment of the film may be skewed. Narratively, it falls nicely between two of my favorite Doctor Who episodes: Bad Wolf (which features future twists on famous game shows) and Exam (a single-location psychological thriller with sci-fi themes and one-by-one elimination). Circle doesn’t quite live up to the impact of my favorites on first watching, but its proximity in subject matter is enough to get me through even the most cringe-worthy lines (“c’mon, dude!” / “No, you c’mon, man!”).

Circle’s unpoetic language is undeniably one of its major weaknesses, and the lack of time for character development and the black-and-white simplicity of its ideas may be a little too theatrical for some, but I, for one, believe its obviousness is its greatest strength.

The cast of characters consists of 50 individuals, each of whom votes every few minutes on who should be murdered next, with the expectation that just one will survive. It’s unclear how they got there, but given the terrible reality of their predicament (they can’t move, so it’s vote or die), a masochistic survival-of-the-smartest seems unavoidable.

The ingenuity of this design is not in the game itself but in the interaction between the players. The group is obviously designed to reflect typical American demographics, with about equal numbers of men and women, representative proportions of each major racial group, and a wide range of age, sexuality, religion, occupation, and personality type. The majority of these characters are given less than a minute of screen time, with the structure of the film typically giving them the most of their conversation during the round of the “game” in which they are eliminated.

Of course, there are a few people whose roles are slightly more important to the game’s dynamics, such as a collaborative husband-and-wife duo (Matt Corboy and Julie Benz), a pregnant woman (Allegra Masters), and a little girl (Molly Jackson), none of whom anyone wants to vote off, and a rich man (Daniel Lench), who brashly tries to control proceedings, claiming his worth is greater because. When all of these personalities collide, Circle becomes a crucial dissection of identity politics, with every character — given just seconds to introduce themselves before their life is actually put up for a vote — reduced to obvious, shallow stereotypes and judged purely on those traits.

The film is a powerful examination of mob rule, minority identity, and our perceptions of one another in the age of Buzzfeed and Twitter. Circle, an incredibly obvious microcosm of an all-too-obvious universe, is precisely the stupid sci-fi picture 2015 requires. It covers nearly every headline topic of our day — illegal immigration, police brutality, ageism, sexism, racism, homophobia, classism, pro-choice vs. pro-life, religion vs. science — and succeeds precisely because it is so simply constructed and clear-cut.

Circle is rather low-key in terms of technology, but the production qualities are high for the budget level. The photography and editing keep up with the fast-paced action, and the picture avoids seeming cheap by employing CGI only when absolutely required. There are a few predictable plot twists, but what happens is far less essential than how and why it happens in this.

The conclusion of Circle indicates that the events of the film are the consequence of an extraterrestrial invasion of Earth. A number of the cast members reportedly recall being taken by alien entities early in the film. After winning the game, Eric spots UFOs in the sky. Circle’s creators, on the other hand, designed an open ending for the picture. It is possible that the survivors will be forced to participate in another “game” of the Circle.

The Circle is essentially an experiment in which the fittest are rewarded with a chance of survival. It is based on Darwin’s ‘Survival of the Fittest’ principle. Surprisingly, in the film, a person’s fitness is determined by their wit rather than their physical power. When it comes to ethics, though, the concept of survival of the fittest can feel cruel and nasty. While many individuals in Circle confirm Darwin’s hypothesis to be correct, many others are observed striving to follow a moral code.

They are clearly reluctant subjects of alien experimenters. But what is the experiment’s purpose? Is there an escape route? Should they strive to work with or against the men and women around them?

Heated discussion denotes a hive-mind argument that sets some (questionable) ground principles before debating tactics. Things rapidly become personal, as they always do when you realize you only have 60 seconds to determine which of the individuals you’re looking at will die. Should we be guided by prejudices based on race and class, or should we focus our rage on authoritative figures? Is self-sacrifice noble or irrational?

Long lengths of bullying and philosophizing occasionally tax our tolerance, and it’s difficult to imagine that the characters who commit them aren’t promptly zapped by their peers. A little dark humor would have gone a long way here, but the directors and cast keep things very serious. Still, the film keeps the suspense alive by having us predict how this will all play out, leading up to a concluding tableau that, silently, reveals nearly as much about human nature as all the discussion preceding it.

The narrative is the most serious flaw. It’s not riddled with flaws or anything; it’s just very, very predictable. You get the full “hey, what’s going on” phase, the “let’s attempt to beat the game” portion, and ultimately the societal commentary that was unavoidable. Racism, homosexual parents, religion, privilege — if it’s a hot-button issue (and there seem to be a lot of them these days), it’ll be brought up. The film takes no position on any of them (more or less), but attempts to portray all sides of the debate. That’s all well and good, but since I tend to hear this drivel every time I put on the television these days, I’ve had enough and don’t really want it in my entertainment.

The cast is decent; no one really leaps out as outstanding, but no one strikes out as rubbish. They’re all skilled and, for the most part, unknown (the only person I knew was Julie Benz, although I’m sure some viewers will have lots of “ooh ooh, I’ve seen that person someplace” moments). They also did a fantastic job of casting a diverse range of people of various creeds, ages, and so on to reflect a broad cross-section of society.

Aside from that, it’s a short film, so at least they didn’t drag it out, the effects and location (for what they are) are adequate, and the conclusion is executed flawlessly — as predictable as the film is throughout, I definitely didn’t see the last minutes coming.

So that’s the end of Circle. This film is for high-concept fans who prefer their entertainment in a new way, and the mystery of who will survive will keep some people engaged throughout, and the running duration was wisely kept under 90 minutes. If you have some free time and want to watch something unusual on Netflix, you could do worse.

Circle, written and directed by Aaron Hann and Mario Miscione, is both the product of successful cooperation and an examination of how we utilize collaboration to manipulate others for our own advantage. It’s far from flawless, yet based only on thematic need, this might be the most significant picture of 2015. Unfortunately, that significance does not appear to be going away anytime soon.

Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIUvYQqHaJulahGrU942ONQ

Playlist:

Sexy Love: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIUvYQqHaJulahGrU942ONQ

Horror: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLru4FE1-1keyyqd1rYJnlwpqE8ysUn2uv

[adamrevi3ws]

Well, tonight is Hollywood’s biggest night. As some of my friends and Letterboxd followers may know, for the past few weeks I’ve been on an Oscar marathon, watching every movie nominated for best picture and a few others in relevant categories. Since reviewing that many movies in such a short time takes a lot of time and effort, I’m going to do something different. Below is my ranking of best picture nominees and my thoughts on why they’re in that place. 

1. The Father (but not by much)

The main reason why this is #1 is that I thought it was, without a doubt, the smartest movie of the eight nominees. I completely expected this to be a sad slog with a great (as usual) Anthony Hopkins performance, but no, this is what finally knocked Judas and the Black Messiah off its massive pedestal in my initial rankings. The genius of this film is its concept, a movie about dementia that illustrates exactly what it’s an unreliable narrator feels by putting the watcher in the driver’s seat. It’s the movie equivalent of switching out details of someone’s room when they turn around to mess with them, except the person doing the switching is Anthony Hopkins’ mind. The movie’s (gorgeous) set design constantly changes at a whim, the plot is intentionally incoherent contradicting itself and going back every few minutes, and even the actors themselves change, all to detail the sheer helplessness of its protagonist’s condition. Perfectly complementing this is Hopkins’ performance, seamlessly nailing everything so funny, sad, and frustrating about a relative as they get older. While I doubt it’s actually going to win Best Picture, it sure as hell deserves the awards for Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Editing, and Best Production Design. Maybe also a Best Actor for Hopkins, but that category has some worthy contenders.

2. Judas and the Black Messiah

This blurb is going to be a lot shorter since I wrote a long review for it back when I initially watched it. Frankly, there’s very little this movie does wrong. Taking something that could have easily been a biopic and transforming it into a The Departed-style thriller is an ingenious move, and its two leads should have easily been bumped up to Best Actor, but that seems to be the biggest injustice of the 2021 Oscars so far. The massive amount of revelations it brings to the table knock it out of the park, ranging from meditations on the nature of white supremacy and capitalism, ideas on how to organize a beaten-down populace, and frankly a good amount of historical information hidden by the textbooks. This is without a doubt one of the timeliest of the nominees.

3. Sound of Metal

An absolutely heartbreaking tale of recovery (or at least structured in that way), Sound of Metal delivers an absolutely gripping performance from Riz Ahmed as a noise metal drummer dealing with newfound hearing loss. Similar to the Father, the film pushes boundaries to put the audience in its protagonist’s seat, manipulating its soundscape to replicate what Ahmed’s character is feeling as he progresses through his journey to attempted recovery. While I’m sure Chadwick Boseman will (rightfully) win the Best Actor award and I’m going to try to watch Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom before/during the ceremony to see if his performance lives up to the hype, I’m personally rooting for Riz!

4. Nomadland and Minari (tie)

I grouped these two together among other things because they’re quite similar in some ways, both dealing with the pursuit of the American Dream and using absurdly believable dialogue. Nomadland has a far broader scope and ambition, being a near-documentary exploring the lives and motivations of America’s nomadic workforce, while Minari presents a compelling family drama of Korean immigrants trying to start a farm in Arkansas. I think Nomadland, the projected Best Picture Winner does a slightly better job of delivering an overall message and exploring the ideas it introduces, but both bring an equal level of delight and, for better or worse, Americana. While they’re on this ranking because I frankly didn’t like them as much as the top three, I will be having words with The Academy if they don’t hand Youn Yuh-jung the Best Supporting Actress award for the Yi family’s eccentric grandma in Minari. 

5. Promising Young Woman

Simultaneously the most and least watchable of the Best Picture nominees, Promising Young Woman is a fascinatingly subversive and…. bubbly…. take on the otherwise harsh and difficult genre of rape-revenge thriller. Its ending and switches in genre and tone over the course of the movie drew skepticism and questions, but almost everyone can agree that the performances of its two leads, Carey Mulligan and internet comedian Bo Burnham, were absolutely phenomenal. I also wouldn’t be mad if it took home the Best Original Screenplay award, although a good amount of its competitors in that field are equally deserving. Promising Young Woman is a movie that tries to be the smartest movie in this year’s eight nominees, and while it doesn’t reach those highs, I think its efforts definitely weren’t’ wasted. 

6. Mank

Mank was frankly kind of a disappointment on my end. I think a lot of its ideas in navigating 1930s Hollywood are quite valiant, it falls flat in trying to actually be the story of the making of Citizen Kane, which, in hindsight, I think is kind of a dumb idea for a movie. It doesn’t help that Oldman’s performance as the titular screenwriter is more in the Johnny Depp or Jared Leto school of weird than admiral, and the movie itself can just be… kind of boring. I guess I just wanted to see the 1930s equivalent of Once Upon A Time in Hollywood.

7. Trial of the Chicago 7

Early high school/middle school Adam would have loved Trial of the Chicago 7 if I saw it them because it would be one of my first few “deep” and “historical” movies, but unfortunately, I’ve grown up, and my critical thinking has developed much past that. Watching this after seeing Judas and the Black Messiah, a movie literally set around the same time, was quite jarring. The best way I can describe it is by taking the 1960s counterculture movement and turning it into a Marvel movie, and that isn’t a good thing despite my love for Marvel movies. The tone feels so distasteful and oblivious of the event’s actual stakes or gravity, which does it as a disservice as a historical narrative but also in terms of making it “relevant” to today’s issues. The closest it gets to this are flashbacks to the riot itself, which kind of border on police brutality porn at some points. Another key element of its tone-deaf nature, and overall refusal to have a message, is its politics. It hurts to acknowledge the difference between how Joseph Gordon Levitt’s character in Chicago 7 and Jesse Plemons’ character in Judas and the Black Messiah. Both are heavily complicit weapons of white supremacy in federal law enforcement that thought they were still genuinely helping progressive causes, but Chicago 7 tries SO HARD to emphasize that Gordon Levitt’s character is a good person, to the point of even having one of the most out-there counterculture characters in the movie state this. This movie desperately attempts to reconcile the establishment and anti-establishment it’d even give Hegel a head trip. It’s a shame because, without the political and historical context, it has the bones to be an otherwise entertaining and compelling movie. Sorkin’s combination of annoying debate kid and Joss Whedon flair works perfectly for a courtroom drama, but it just shouldn’t be one with such an important political context. While I think this is a decent movie, it probably wouldn’t deserve the Best Picture award in any other Oscar race, especially this one.

[livingbutamireally]

AY2020/2021 Y2S1 Module Reviews

This semester proved to be a pain as expected. Said pain coming mostly from BT2101 and CS2030. Everything was conducted online with the exception of the weekly lab sessions for CS2030 so I only had to go to school for 1 day. F2F CS2030 recitations were optional so I gave up and just watched the recorded zoom session instead of going to school just for a class half way through the semester. I usually miss the live zoom sessions because mine was at 1pm and I am almost always still having lunch at that time and not ready at all. Also i missed about half of my BT2102 tutorials because I simply forgot I had tutorials at that time (2-4pm). They still awarded me nicely for participation much to my surprise (7/10).

BT2101 Decision Making Methods and Tools

BT2102 Data Management and Visualisation

CS2030 Programming Methodology II

GEQ1000 Asking Questions

IS1103 Ethics in Computing

CS2030: Programming Methodology II in Java

Prof: Dr Henry Chia, A.P. Terrence Sim

Weightage:

Weekly labs (5%)

Individual project (15%)

Practical assessment #1 in week 7 (15%)

Practical assessment #2 in week 12 (20%)

Class participation (5%) : includes lab participation, piazza discussions and peer learning activities

Final exam (40%)

CS2030 proved to be intensive not only in the aspect of planning code design but also the actual implementation itself.. (thinking about how to solve the problem and/or get the expected outputs)..  Really struggled my way through the start although that really was only the tip of the iceberg because I had no prior experience in Java and the introductory Winter Workshops were reserved exclusively for freshmen or I missed the deadlines can’t remember.. The first few lectures got us familiar with Java Programming before diving deep into Functional Programming which is a lot harder to grasp vs Object-Oriented Programming which was introduced to us in CS1010S already. The hardest part comes with Streams but honestly after learning streams so many processes can be coded so much more efficiently as compared to OOP, really simplifies some of the tasks when using FP rather than OOP. Interesting to note that this streams part ties in well with BT2102′s coding part where we learnt aggregation pipelines in MongoDB and MySQL i believe the concepts felt similar??

Weekly Labs

Pretty manageable imo , compared to the project ofc (rolls eyes)

This semester they changed things up a bit and shifted all the weekly labs deadlines to finals so we had more control in terms of time management and our progress in the labs. Naturally we are expected to do them every week but say we are busy in a certain week for other modules we can always come back on another. I was always behind by like a month compared to my friends who were more on task.

Individual Project

Project part 1 was still okay for the Discrete Event Simulator (DES) basically designing a system for customers to queue and be served and recording the relevant work done at the appropriate times using OOP.

The hardest part was project part 2 where you had to rewrite the whole chunk in part 1 FP style and also they added a lot of more complex simulations and cases which I really just gave up entirely after completing level 2.

It was so hard it was traumatic. Level 3 had something to do with importing a random number generator and the test cases only get more confusing and long i just really had no brain cells left for the work worth only 7% before deducting late submissions penalty (bc brain slow LOL) and the code design criteria and checkstyles. I was so mad that it takes up so much time and effort just to be worth a petty 7% that I gave up entirely didnt even finish reading the questions (which was also pretty darn long). Sorry i am dumb. Please be proud of me I am trying my best.

I have zero idea who in the department decided to rig the difficulty of this project by so much up compared to previous semesters. They really expected too much out of us i am so sorry to disappoint.

Practical Assessments 

Basically similar to weekly lab exercises but you have to do it within the time frame during a lab session. You get to take home and re-edit the code to get the full marks and are moderated according to the changes you made compared to the one submitted during the PA itself. That also means if you do not submit the correct full marks version of the code in a week, you do not get moderated and will be awarded with the marks scored in lab which is obviously 0 for me I had over 70 compilation errors and you might be thinking how. But trust me i am too, confused how. Most people will score around 0-2m in lab but taking it home and refining the whole code with minimal changes and will be graded according to the amount of changes made to get the final code. Tests you how close you can get to the correct outputs within the time frame whether you already had it in your head.

Final Exam

Comes in MCQs, a few case questions consisting of subparts if i remembered correctly some of which required you to write out a possible code (2-3 lines) converting oop to streams, synchronous to asynchronous etc. There are plenty resources (pyps) floating around in the gc so you can use them well for revision.

Theoretical content was tested i dont really know how to put in words but you may be able to code well even though you may have some of the concepts wrong

We only did pure coding work in labs, projects and practical assessments so this really reinforces your understanding of the material

Considering I didnt finish project part 2 this is quite a decent grade already really thankful i dont have to go through this ordeal again. See you never.

BT2101: Decision Making Methods and Tools

Professor: Rudy Sentiono, A.P. Huang Zhiyong

Weightage:

Group project (20%)

Written assignments - 3x 5% (15%)

Tutorial participation (5%)

Midterm - open book (20%)

Finals - open book (40%)

This is the second module that I have been struggling with since the start of the semester. Tutor changed after the first session, the former tutor was much better and clearer in her explanations. This is quite a math-intensive course and requires some knowledge of linear algrebra and thus the pre-requisities. Maths has never been my strong suit (well except in primary school) so I struggled hard with this module. Nearing the end we learnt about deep learning neural networks which was pretty interesting and really broadened my perspectives on the future of machine learning. The pace was okay, but the lecturer seems to just repeat the words on the lecture slides in his lectures. The lectures were seemingly simplified from the reference texts he used but is nevertheless still daunting to look at to revise. Project was a 4-5 people groupwork where we had to conduct all the stages of data analytics from data exploration, cleaning of data to data mining, conclusions etc. There were an additional 3 assignments that we had to do together with our groupmates by the stipulated deadlines. This module requires a lot of work and preparation. Am glad to be able to pass.

BT2102: Data Management and Visualisation

Weightage:

Assignment 1 (Group):  25 marks

Assignment 2 (Individual): 35 marks

Assignment 3 (Group):  30 marks

Class Participation: 10 marks (Participation in Tutorials and Group Assignment Discussions)

IS1103: Ethics in Computing

Weightage:

FPAQ (50%)

Missions (50%)

Expected Grade: B+

Final Grade: A-

For this module, all 13 missions are to be done by the last date of submission for finals which was a 300 question quiz held on LumiNUS. Missions are assigned weekly where we go to the WordPress website the professor has built, a server that he regularly does maintenance on and in it he uses a tracker to track our progress through clicking links and submitting short answer questions sometimes. Most of them were done by clicking of links and we were told to disable our Adblockers if any to prevent interruptions or his system not capturing our data. We were encouraged to do it weekly although the deadline was the end of the semester. One of the missions included us doing some Linux practice penetration questions on Kali, it was a bit tough but other than that the other missions were pretty simple and straightforward. After every mission done we were to do a practice PAQ which is not graded and upon submission would give us the model answers to study in preparation for FPAQ the final week submission. PAQ consists of 5 themes * 7 questions = 35 questions, whereas FPAQ has 300 over questions to be done over the span of a week, the reading week. Carpal tunnel.

GEQ1000: Asking Questions

Weightage: 

Tutorial attendance/participation (36%)

Forum participation - forum 1 and 2 (14%)

MCQ quiz (36%)

Final paper (14%)

This is a general education module everyone in NUS is required to take. I dont think I learned much so I am really only there to go through the motion. There are a few pillars that the department touches on mainly Physics, Engineering, Design, etc to show how the different disciplinary courses are interconnected and how/why is questioning important. Really low maintenance course, we do a 6 or 10 MCQ quiz every week prior to the lecture for that pillar. Tutorial was online via zoom and really low workload in general. Final week was on design and we had to make a wallet for our partner and explain why or how we chose the designs, and also submitting a word essay on our reflections of things we learned.

Update. I only pray to hover above or maintain at this current CAP lemao PLEASE YOU NEED TO

[douchebagbrainwaves]

LET'S START WITH THE OBVIOUS ONE: LOBBY TO GET SARBANES-OXLEY, FEW STARTUPS GO PUBLIC NOW

Unless they want to have still more of their lunch eaten by Google. This by itself is not the end of the Bubble, that drastically increases the regulatory burden on public companies. At least if you start a startup. Someone who thinks I better not start a startup that fails, and you can't find north using a compass with a magnet sitting next to it.1 I was in art school, we were looking one day at a slide of some great fifteenth century painting, and one that other big technology companies will no doubt try to duplicate. In any case, growing fast versus operating cheaply is far from the sharp dichotomy many founders assume it to be. I say: don't believe it when they tell you this is a naive and outdated ambition. It was as if someone had brought up the topic of lung cancer in a meeting within Philip Morris. And they will.

After all, if appealing to humans is: it's good art if it consistently affects humans in a certain way. But once you study how it's done, you see that it's a pretty cheesy trick—one of the reasons taste is subjective found such a receptive audience is that, historically, the things people have said about good taste have generally been such nonsense. But for any given idea, the payoff for acting fast in a bad economy. My main point here is not how to have good taste, which is to interest its audience. And if you pay them to raise the stock price, which is the ability to recognize it. When I drive down 101 from the airport, I still feel a buzz of energy, as if it were inherently stupid to invest in bad times. But if you find a work of art: biases you bring from your own circumstances, but you can't expect to hit that right away.2 No, as it turned out.3 They make something moderately appealing and have decent initial growth. The future is there. It's hard to say precisely when the question switches polarity.

An experienced CFO I know said flatly: I would not want to be CFO of a public company now. Which means it's doubly important to hire the best people.4 It's the people that matter. Nerds don't just happen to dress informally.5 I always tell startups is a principle I learned from Paul Buchheit: it's better to make a lot of people semi-happy. But it doesn't matter much either way.6 I've deliberately traded precision for brevity. Result: a capital investment in a startup this quarter shows up as Yahoo earnings next quarter—stimulating another round of investments in startups. The answer that springs to mind is Usenix, but that there can even be such a thing as good art.7

After centuries of supposedly job-killing innovations, the number of jobs is within ten percent of the number of jobs is within ten percent of the number of users and the other wrong? Don't be evil. And perhaps more importantly, it's harder to lie to yourself. The way not to be vulnerable to tricks is to explicitly seek out and catalog them.8 But as technology has grown more important, the power of nerds has grown to reflect it. Were you nodding in agreement, thinking stupid investors a few paragraphs ago when I was talking about how investors are reluctant to put money into startups in bad markets, even though that's the time they should rationally be most willing to buy? But certainly a large part of it doesn't have to advertise.

And you end up with better technology, created faster, because things are made in the innovative atmosphere of startups instead of the bureaucratic atmosphere of big companies.9 Last year you had to be prepared to explain how it's recession-proof is to do exactly what you should have been building. The patent pledge is in effect a narrower but open source Don't be evil. So just as investors in 1999 were tripping over one another trying to buy into lousy startups, investors in 2009 will presumably be reluctant to invest even in good ones. Once you know what to make, it's mere effort to make it, there are people who will notice. It comes with a lot of people trying to be Thurston Howell. That's the key. So an artist working on a painting and trying to decide whether to change some part of it is learned. In a business like theirs, being the best is enough. If you want to, but only because they're that much older. If it's default dead, whereas it's very dangerous to morale to start to depend on deals closing, not just because they so often don't, but because it makes them less likely to.10

They're not impressed by one's job title, for example; they're already pariahs.11 If you pay them to raise the stock price, which is what options amount to, they'll be thought uncultured. Since the Internet was the big new thing, investors supposed that the more Internettish the company, not its market cap. Bring us your startups early, said Google's speaker at the Startup School. Unfortunately, those few deals now want less and less money, because it's a recognized brand, it's safe, and they'll get paid a good salary right away. But if you inadvertantly squash the startup industry, all that happens is that the concept of good has been retired. Ramen profitable means a startup makes just enough to pay the founders' living expenses.12 But a programmer deciding between a regular job at a big company is the default thing to do, he couldn't—sometimes because the company wouldn't let him, but often because the company's code wouldn't let him, but often because the company's code wouldn't let him. But something is missing: individual initiative. What would happen if you outsourced everything except product development?

But increasingly startups are evolving into a vehicle for developing technology on spec. Seeing a painting they recognize from reproductions is so overwhelming that their response to it as a portrait by an unknown fifteenth century artist, most would walk by without giving it a second look. Of course it matters to do a good job. Crooks just use whatever means are available. Those whose jobs require them to judge art, like curators, mostly resort to euphemisms like significant or important or getting dangerously close realized. The only people who eat what humans were actually designed to eat white flour, refined sugar, high fructose corn syrup: it has some of the time. Mediocre hires hurt you twice: they get less done, but they were more visible during the Bubble about the new economy. The head of a small company may still choose to be a contrarian to be correct, and by definition only a minority of investors can be.13 When I showed up in Silicon Valley in 1998, I felt like an immigrant from Eastern Europe arriving in America in 1900. That's why so many successful startups make something the founders needed. It's art that interests its human audience, and—here's the critical point—members of the tribe, but they were more visible during the Bubble all I have to do is start a startup that fails, and you can't find another? So it turns out you can pick out some people and say that they have better taste than people who didn't.

Why should they wait for VCs to make the startups they want more expensive? Of course, space aliens probably wouldn't find human faces engaging. In a business like theirs, being the best is enough. Technology trains leave the station at regular intervals. An obstacle downstream propagates upstream. For products of nature that might work. What will they build next?

Notes

A company will be a big VC firm or they see and say that's not true. A significant component of piracy is simply that it might be able to claim that they'll be able to give them sufficient activation energy required to switch to a study by the financial controls of World War II, must have seemed an outlying data point that could be fixed within a niche.

I almost hesitate to raise five million dollars. Even Samuel Johnson said no man but a big effect on the order of 10,000 people or so you could build products as good as Apple's just by hiring sufficiently qualified designers. They're common to all cultures with long traditions of living in cities. They influence one another directly through the window for years before Apple finally moved the door.

False positives are not very well connected. If he's bad at it he'll work very hard to erase from a mediocre VC. If you're dealing with one hand paying Milton the compliment of an outcast, just as big as any successful startup founders are driven by the time I had a day job, or to be careful.

Experienced investors know about a week before. I'm clueless or being misleading by focusing so much pain, it inevitably turns into incantation. Later stage investors won't invest. Never attribute to malice what can be compared, per capita income in England in 1750 was higher than India's in 1960.

The actual sentence in the aggregate are overpaid. If Congress passes the founder of the optimism Europeans consider distinctly American is simply that it sounds plausible, the big winners aren't all that matters financially for investors.

On the other hand, they sometimes say. If you're building something they wanted to than because they are building, they were buying a phenomenon, or can be done at a 3 year old to get going, and instead of just assuming that their system can't be buying users; that's a pyramid scheme. I mean efforts to protect themselves. I bicycled to University Ave in Palo Alto, but to establish a protocol for web-based applications.

Scheme: define foo n lambda i set! That's why the series AA paperwork aims at a disadvantage trying to make you feel that you're not trying to make software incompatible.

So it is. The original Internet forums were not web sites but Usenet newsgroups.

Come From?

Some of the funds we raised was difficult, and help keep the next Facebook, if you turn out to do it in action, there are already names for this is: we currently filter at the network level, because there was a bad idea.

One of the good groups, you usually have to decide whether you're in the imprecise half. They may not be incorporated, but more often than not what it would work.

Convertible notes often have you heard a retailer claim that companies will one day be able to redistribute wealth successfully, because the first digital computer game, you can't do much that anyone wants to invest in it.

World War II to the principles they discovered in the press or a funding round usually reflects some other contribution by the leading advisor to King James Bible is not a VC firm wants to program a Turing machine. I don't think you need. The ironic thing is, because you're throwing off your own. They might not have raised money on convertible notes, VCs who are good presenters, but countless other startups must have believed since before people were people.

[ycmiis-blog]

now recording {chapter five}

When upcoming YouTuber Lucy Heartfilia finds herself collaborating with popular channel Fairy Tail, she ends up getting more than she bargained for. ( ff.net // ao3 )

( ONE  TWO  THREE  FOUR )

The following week is full of Lucy's official admittance to the channel. It's not as insane as she thought it would be, just a contract to look over and sign, and soon she's a proper member. It's easy to slot herself into several of the channel's segments, like the DIY videos that Lisanna and Mira usually do as well as any and all talk of beauty. The skits are the best part, though, being able to act like a different character for a while. It's exciting, and everything feels so professional. Most of the time, anyway.

It's Thursday when the door open and Lucy stops mid-script-planning because she's sure that everyone she knows is already inside the building. She looks up whenever anyone walks past, and she, Mira, Kinana, Reedus, and Laxus are the only ones inside the main room as of now. The others are elsewhere, working on other things, and Natsu said earlier that Wendy and Romeo wouldn't be coming in until their exams finish tomorrow. That's why stares at the entrance when a man she recognises but has never met walks in.

"Oi, old man," Laxus greets, breaking Lucy's concentration when he gets up and strides over to his grandfather.

If Lucy is being honest, she can't see the family resemblance between Laxus and Makarov. Not only is Laxus tall and buff while Makarov is stout and thin, but their personalities (or what she's seen of them, because all she has to go off of is Makarov's behaviour in videos) are also completely different. Perhaps it's some sort of generational gap? She doubts she'll ever ask.

"Haven't I told you to respect your elders?" Makarov says, but he's smiling.

Mira rushes over. "Master! I didn't expect to see you today."

"I didn't expect to be here," Makarov says, giving Mira a brief hug. "I had time, so I'm here."

"You shouldn't just walk in as you like, you know. We could be in the middle of filming or something," Laxus says.

Mira waves off his complaints. "Don't be ridiculous, he's more than welcome, even if we're filming. The fans love him! Speaking of which, have you met Lucy?"

Lucy perks up once her name is mentioned, and she can't pretend she wasn't looking when everyone's now staring at her in return. She smiles nervously and waves as Mira leads Makarov to her. He's much shorter in real life than she anticipated.

"The newest recruit? You poor thing, I hope they haven't been treating you too badly," Makarov says, offering his hand to shake.

She shakes his hand, her free one twirling her pen. "They've been fantastic, actually. More than I could hope for."

There's a spark in Makarov's eyes as he says, "Ah, they haven't had the embarrassing induction ceremony, have they?"

Lucy could have gone her whole life without being reminded of that. Ever since Jet started the topic in the group chat a week ago, it's been in the back of her mind, and she dug deep into the channel's old videos to see what she was getting herself into. When Kinana joined, she was forced to read explicit fan fiction. The time before that when Bisca joined, she had to stand on Yajima's roof and promote the restaurant with an, as Vijeeter had put it, interpretive dance. Even Wendy and Romeo had undergone some sort of food challenge that had Wendy swearing off sour food for the rest of her life. Needless to say, Lucy isn't looking forward to whatever she has to do.

"No, they haven't," she sighs, and Mira giggles.

"We're still thinking on what we're going to have her do," Reedus says from the editor's desk.

Makarov's laugh is boisterous. "You'll find something appropriate, I'm sure. But for now, could I ask you to gather the others? I have an announcement to make."

They all head off to collect the others, people entering the main room one by one. They hit a snag when the gamers refuse to come out of their gaming office for fifteen more minutes because they have a video to wrap up, but they soon wander out and join everyone else. Erza practically forces them to.

Everyone is talking at once, and it takes Erza kicking desk chairs into the crowd to make them stop. Once she's satisfied, she turns to Makarov and says, "Please continue."

Makarov nods at her and climbs onto one of the unused desks near the front of the room. "Alright, listen up, you brats! When I was at work, we were talking about having a film festival for amateur creators, and all the others were talking about how they'd gotten their favourite up and coming film makers to sign up, saying how they'd beat everyone else, but I saw their stuff and thought, 'My brats can do better than that!'"

Lucy vaguely remembers Makarov (and several of the other members) mentioning that he works as a film critic, and things suddenly make more sense. Then his words sink in and she blinks. Is this going where she thinks it's going?

"So, I decided to sign you all up," Makarov continues, pulling a flyer out of his pocket. It's a little crumpled and there's a rip at the top, but Lucy can see the words 'Crocus Film Festival 2017' in big bold letters. "I know you'll be able to do it."

Laxus snatches the flyer from Makarov's hands, and his movements are so harsh that Lucy winces. "The fuck, old man? You can't just do that shit without our permission! We're pulling out, fuck it."

"Hold on."

Everyone turns to Freed, who has his thinking face on. It's rare for him to ever disagree with Laxus, but from what Lucy has seen during the past few weeks, he is also the person who keeps Laxus from exploding. This is probably another one of those times. She just didn't expect it to be now.

"You were telling me about how you wanted to make a short film, right?" Freed says, looking at Laxus. "Why not take this opportunity and run with it? The deadline is a few months from now, and we've had tighter deadlines before, so I'm sure we could pull it off."

Laxus' expression is a combination of stubbornness and sulking. Lucy would laugh if she wasn't waiting for his response with baited breath, because honestly? The idea of making a short film is exciting, and a quick scan of the room tells her that the others think so, too. Everyone is anticipating Laxus' response, because if anyone can get him to agree, it's Freed.

Then among the silence, Natsu says, "What, too scared to take up the challenge?"

Laxus narrows his eyes at Natsu, because it's clear what the younger man is doing, but if Lucy didn't know any better, she would say that it's working. She's sure that half of the stuff Laxus does on camera is because someone challenged him to. With this group, it's a very real possibility. Her eyes dart between Natsu and Laxus as she watches Natsu's shit-eating grin and Laxus' calculating expression.

"Alright, fine," Laxus finally says, and he puts his hand up to stop any premature celebration. "But if we're gonna do this, we're gonna go all in. This isn't just some fuckin' side-project, this is some real deal shit, I don't care how much work we have to put into it, we're winning this thing."

"Well, obviously," Gray says, smirking. "Fairy Tail comes to win, not to get a pat on the back for participating."

Cana takes a swig from her flask. "Gray, your clothes."

"Fuck."

Roles are quickly designated. Laxus is the obvious choice for director, and it will be the usual team when it comes to editing and sound. Lucy, Levy, and Freed are in charge of writing the script based on the different ideas the group bounce off of each other during brainstorming. Lucy is impressed with how quickly the main concept is pieced together. Everyone appears to be on the same page, and any minor disagreements are usually resolved with an even better idea. Lucy takes notes at an alarming rate, different scenes running through her head, and soon she has several handwritten pages covered top to bottom.

"You're really into this, aren't you?" Natsu says as he slides his chair beside hers.

"Of course I am," she says, adding to the growing list of characters. "Writing stories is what I live for."

Natsu's low laughter is drowned out by Evergreen's, "Who's going to play who, though?"

"Ooh, ooh!" Natsu shoots up like a rocket. "Can I play the dragon king guy? He sounds like a badass. He can control fire, for fuck's sake!"

"He's one of the two main characters, Dragneel, think you can handle that?" Gray taunts.

Natsu slams his fist down on the desk so hard that Lucy almost drags her pen over her entire paper. She sends him a look that he ignores. "Of course I can! It's like this part was made for me. What are you gonna do, play Tree Number Three?"

"Fuck off," Gray grumbles. "I'll play one of the nature spirits or something. The one that fights the dragon king is preferred, though. The ice one, right?"

"I'll be the fortune teller," Cana says, lifting a hand. "She gets to be all mysterious and creepy, so basically the complete opposite of me."

Lucy scribbles down who is playing who as the discussion continues, giggling to herself as certain roles are cast (Elfman and Evergreen as the bickering married couple who live in the woods? Yes, please). Within the next half hour, most of the roles are filled, but there are still some gaps. The biggest one is at the very top of the list.

"So, who's going to play the celestial princess?" Mira asks.

Lucy would be lying if she said she didn't want the role. The character of the celestial princess sounds so wonderful, and she's always loved stars, always thought about whether the stars are a world of their own with their own inhabitants and royalty. She knows that it's just her writer's mind running away with her, but it's a concept she's loved since she was a young child. She has her mother to thank for that.

Yet she doesn't put her hand up. She's nervous, and while she believes in herself enough to play the role decently, she doesn't want to take the opportunity away from anyone else. But no one else has raised their hand yet either, most likely because the majority of people in the room already have their names attached to other characters. She should just take the chance.

She puts her hand up. Everyone turns to her. "I'll do it." Realising she sounds too eager, she coughs and tries to keep herself calm. "I mean, if no one else wants to, of course."

Is it just her imagination, or does Mira look a little too happy about her volunteering? "Fantastic! That's all the main roles filled, we'll still need a couple of people to say a line or two, but other than that, we're all set!"

"Alright, everyone!" Lisanna calls out, waving her tape measure to get everyone's attention. "I'll need to measure you all to make your costumes!"

As people start heading to Lisanna's side, Levy sits on Lucy's desk. Lucy doesn't think she likes the smug look on her face. "So, the celestial princess, huh?"

Lucy blinks. "Well, yeah? I really love her character, the whole stars thing."

"And she and the dragon king fall head over heels in love with each other, forbidden love from two realms." Levy places her hands on her chest, like she's in the middle of some Shakespeare play.

Oh, right. Lucy forgot about that.

"Be professional, Levy," Lucy chides, lightly tapping her pen against Levy's leg. "You were the one who told me to take the shipping comments with a grain of salt, remember?"

"And I still stand by that," Levy says. "But don't think I haven't seen all the late night text convos on your phone." She picks Lucy's phone up from the desk and unlocks it (Lucy told her that passcode for emergencies, thank you very much), and Lucy remembers just whose message log she'd been on when she locked it earlier.

She makes a dive for the phone. "Gimme that!"

Levy dodges easily. "C'mon, this is cute!"

"We're just friends," Lucy says, and when Levy gives her a sceptical look, she says, "Very good friends."

Levy still doesn't look convinced, but when it's clear that Lucy isn't going to fold, she just sighs and returns the phone to its original spot. "Whatever you say."

"Wait, what?!"

Both Lucy and Levy look towards the entrance where Erza is standing and, to Lucy's surprise, she's beet red. Kinana raises her hands and steps back, and Mira, who is standing beside the entire exchange, is finding the situation incredibly amusing. Laxus just looks annoyed. Eager to gossip at someone else's expense rather than her own, Lucy heads over with Levy at her heels.

"What's wrong?" she asks, standing opposite Mira and Laxus so she's creating some sort of circle.

"Nothing, really," Mira says with a bright smile. "We were just talking about what we should do for the soundtrack, and Kinana suggested this really good band she has ties with, they're pretty famous on YouTube – Oracion Seis, if you've heard of them – and it just so happens that Erza knows their manager."

Lucy feels as though there's a story there, but now isn't the time. "That's great! Then we should have music sorted, right?"

Mira nods eagerly, resting a hand on Erza's shoulder. "Kinana, you want to see Erik, right? Why don't you take some of the others and go down there yourselves? I'm sure he'd love to see you. I'd go myself, but I have to stay and help Lisanna set up some stuff for the next DIY show."

Lucy can almost feel Erza's panic as Kinana considers the idea. "Alright, I don't see why not," she finally says. "Erza, Levy, Lucy, would you mind coming with me?"

"Of course! Of course we'll come with you," Erza says, perhaps a little too loudly, and Laxus snorts.

"Have fun with your boyfriend," he says, though he's looking at Erza when he says it, and she just hides her head in her hands.

Kinana is the one who drives them down, since she knows the way off by heart. Lucy spends her time alternating between concern for a suspiciously silent Erza and researching the band they'll be (hopefully) hiring for their film. She actually has heard of Oracion Seis, or she's at least seen them around on YouTube. They're an up-and-coming band known for experimenting with genres, and they have a very edgy style, even going by stage names rather than their real names. Of course, the internet is a place of knowledge, and she can find them with a simple Google search.

Another search reveals the name of their manager, a one Jellal Fernandes, and Lucy wonders where he and Erza know each other from. She isn't about to pry, though. If she's being completely honest, it's a little unsettling to see Erza so quiet, and if Erza wasn't as tough as she is, she would be a little more worried.

They arrive a little later than expected, but Kinana doesn't seem too put off by it. "It's normal to be set back a bit by the traffic," she says as she pulls into the studio building's underground parking lot.

Following Kinana's lead, they head to the elevator and wait for her to press the button to one of the top-most floors. Lucy taps her feet to the elevator music as they ascend. It's different than the usual elevator music, more pop-sounding, and she wonders if the studio plays songs their artists have made all around the building. It would make sense.

The elevator opens into a classy looking lobby with red carpet blue walls. It should be a little jarring, the contrast, but Lucy finds that she likes it. Kinana approaches the reception desk, which is being attended to by a pink-haired woman. Said woman looks up once a shadow falls over her desk and she smiles brightly. She recognises Kinana, at the very least.

"Kinana, hi! I wasn't expecting you today!" She peers around Kinana and spots Erza, her smile becoming even wider. "And Erza, too! I haven't seen you in forever!"

Erza smiles, though she still seems uneasy. "Hello, Meredy."

"Sorry I didn't call ahead," Kinana says. "I'm here to see Erik, but I'm also here to ask him and the others about something work-related. If I have to make an appointment, that's fine –"

"– Of course you don't have to make an appointment!" Meredy says, waving her hand dismissively. "Erik's always grumpy, but when he sees you he's happier, which means he works better. You're our lifesaver, you know."

Kinana flushes and shakes her head. "I'm sure that's not true."

"Oh, it is. You just don't see it 'cause he's always happy around you," Meredy says before pressing a button on her desk phone. "Hey, Jellal! Kinana's here, and guess who she brought with her? Just guess!"

"Meredy, would it kill you to behave a bit more professionally in front of our guests?" comes the reply from the speaker phone.

"Yes," Meredy says, smirking. "And you didn't even try to guess!

Erza steps forward. "That won't be necessary, I promise –"

There is a crash from the other end of the line and Meredy starts cackling. Lucy can feel a fit of giggles coming on herself, but she manages to suppress it in favour of sparing Erza from any further embarrassment. For now, anyway, because she feels as though it's only going to get worse once Erza and Jellal see each other face to face.

"Just send them in, Meredy," Jellal says in a tired voice.

"Will do!" Meredy replies cheerily, releasing her hold on the button. "Just go straight in! They're in the break room, Kinana will show you the way."

Kinana says a quick 'thank you' before heading into a corridor off to the side. There are several doors, all of them closed, but Lucy is more interested in the decor. There are awards hung on the wall as well as autographs and photos of different artists. There are quite a few of Oracion Seis, probably because this is their designated area of the building. She assumes that the blue-haired man beside Meredy in most of the pictures is Jellal, but she's about to find out.

They stop outside the last door to the right and Kinana knocks. The door muffles the sounds from inside, but Lucy can hear someone wolf whistle, and laughter follows. It's only when the door opens that everything can be heard, though not seen, because Erik, otherwise known as Cobra, stands in the way. He's taller than Lucy anticipated, but any air of intimidation he may have had disappears once he sees Kinana. It's quite cute.

"Hey," he says right before he spots everyone else. "You brought friends? That's a first."

Kinana just smiles. "That's because I'm not just here to hang out. We have a business proposition for you."

This surprises Erik, who raises his eyebrows, but he still moves out of the way so they can all enter. "Well then, come on in."

They enter into some sort of lounge decorated with music memorabilia, the smell of coffee filling Lucy's senses, and it doesn't take long to find out why when there are half a dozen coffee cups on the main table. The rest of the band sits on the sofas towards the edge of the room. Lucy vaguely remembers each of their names, and it seems that all of them are here. The lead vocalist, Sorano (Angel), is adjusting her high-heels, her elbow occasionally jabbing Sawyer's (Racer's) side, much to his annoyance. Richard (Hoteye) is notating something on a series of music sheets and Macbeth (Midnight) is asleep with an entire sofa all to himself. Jellal is sitting in the single armchair in the room, looking incredibly nervous.

"Hello, Jellal," Erza says, surprisingly composed compared to how she was acting previously. "It's good to see you."

Jellal smiles, and Lucy notes that while there is definitely some nervousness there, his eyes speak louder than his mouth does. He looks so happy to see her. It's subtle, but it's there. "Likewise, Erza."

"So, what's up?" Erik asks, deciding to ignore the two other lovebirds in the room as he shoves Macbeth so he's only taking up half of the couch as opposed to all of it.

"Well, Fairy Tail is entering a short film contest and we were wondering if you guys could do the soundtrack for it," Kinana says. "As long as you're not busy, of course. The deadline is in a few months, so it all depends on what you're doing."

The band, with the exception of Macbeth, shares a few looks that Lucy can't quite interpret, and it's Erik who speaks again. "Well, I'm down for it."

"Of course he is, it's for his beloved Kinana," Sawyer says, not bothered by the glare Erik sends his way. "But I'm down for it, too. What genre is it?"

"A fantasy romance," Levy says, then gestures to Lucy. "Lucy and I can fill you in on the rest of the plot details if you need them."

Sorano sits up, crossing one leg over the other. "A fantasy romance? Sounds like my sort of genre. I'm in."

"I have endless ideas for love songs," Richard says, and is he swooning?

Lucy eyes Macbeth, who hasn't moved since they began save for the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes. "Um, is it alright to make these decisions without everyone's input?"

Sawyer shrugs. "He's asleep for most meetings we have, so I wouldn't worry about it. As long as we tell him what's going on, he's usually fine with what we do. And if not? Tough luck." He looks to Jellal. "Now we just need our manager's input."

"You're actually asking for my opinion? Are you feeling okay, Sawyer?" Jellal jokes, but quickly sobers up. "I'm all for it. From a business standpoint, it's good. Fairy Tail is one of the most popular channels on the platform, aren't they? It should be good exposure."

Erik leans back in his chair, smug. "Please, don't act as though you don't know. You watch them just as much as I do. Whose videos are you usually watching?" He nods towards Erza. "Erza's, right?"

Jellal coughs and Erza looks away, though Lucy can see the faint blush on her cheeks. The two are saved from further awkwardness by someone's ringtone, and by the apologetic look on Levy's face, it's hers. Lucy watches her expression change to one of confusion.

"Sorry, I have to take this."

She moves to the opposite corner of the room and starts speaking in a low voice, too low for Lucy to hear. Rather than trying to eavesdrop on her friend's conversation, she turns to everyone else with a smile, and this seems to gather everyone's attention.

"So, the plot of our film –"

"Wait, what?!"

'Deja vu,' Lucy thinks as everyone turns to Levy, who is clutching her phone with both hands, biting her lip. Lucy quickly rushes over and puts a hand on Levy's shoulder. The sudden change in her friend's behaviour is too concerning for her not to.

"Levy? What's wrong?" she asks.

Levy sucks in a deep breath, and Lucy can vaguely hear the panicked voices of Jet and Droy on the other line. "They're gone. All the – our entire – all our videos on mine, Jet, and Droy's channels. They're all gone. We've been hacked."

[xenocorp-devblog-blog]

The Formidable Tale of Xenophever, Part 2

Yaaay the first day of production at last.

I was genuinely excited by the whole process of working for a year on my very own videogame concept with very nice working conditions and a team of people I really enjoyed. Genuinely terrified too. I was the coding spirit of the team, and that's a lot of responsibilities I wasn't sure I could handle on my own.

We had our own room shared with another working group, and now was the time to develop Xenophever for real.

(yeeeeee)

Our first challenge as a team was to prove our vision for Xenophever was not only interesting but also technically viable. The summer prototype I had built on Game Maker helped communication with our teachers, but one issue remained ; we saw the game camera as isometric, and some of the teachers were still doubtful. Nothing in Game Maker makes the process easy, so improvisation was key. Now I know there is a lot of clever math tricks to be done to convert distance into things and whatnot, but I had not taken a math class for years and never had the best time with this discipline. So my very un-spanish self ended up following a spanish tutorial so I could make the magic happen in the engine while the artists were learning to twist characters and settings to an isometric grid Game Maker did not technically took into account. Despite our various problems, we created the first version of the Bartender, built blocs and props, developed two different moving systems (arrow keys and point&click since we were not that sure) and finally got an approval on the camera matters.

(thanks spanish person, you probably saved Xenophever)

The next major difficulty to come in code was the actual AI. I had pulled together a solid first draft with the summer prototype, but the pathfinding system was to become more difficult given the sets of rule we had went for in the level design. Again, almost no math notion here. I had very difficult days plucking off my hair trying to find a solution.

In the animation department, Florian was leading raging battles against various solutions to cover the massive amount of animations we had planned for the game. Eventually he ended up settling for Spine -and that's the beginning of a beautiful tale I would never dare to explore on my own name, because he will probably touch the subject himself soon enough.

During this time Louis, fellow game designer and overall mastermind, scheduled what was to come for us for the whole year according to the deadlines the school demanded us to consider. Valentine, head artist, worked on designing the first aliens while we were implementing the animation system of the first species that covered the entire set of clients in this early stage.

Maxim, our environment and UI artist, was busy conceptualizing and implementing our first Structure, the Bar. Once in the engine, I could fiddle around with depth and integration. The production was starting nicely despite the technical problems we faced.

(my early desk, before it completely drowned under post-its)

So we started to feel homey, but something had yet to be build. I think the first time we actually worked as a team boils down to the concept and execution of the main menu. Not a single person had been left out of the process, and I think even today, the main menu is one of the prototype's strengths when it comes to its universe and hooking the player into the game. Then we decided to rent a photography studio for promotion -and fun-, and we ended up blasting off funk, retrowave and 90's tubes as we tried to get somewhat useable pictures of the crew. We had good fun together, it blew off steam from our personal issues with the project. Many things happened during this event, including (but not limited to) :

(if this doesn’t convince you we’re qualified to work on anything, I don’t know what will)

Afterward, it was all back to those problems with a fresh eye. I ended up getting some help from my mom that probably saved me from being stuck in a bug forever (thanks mooom), and Maxim faced his most resilient problem in the production ; the restroom. We weren't exactly sure how explicit we wanted to tackle certain subjects and how badly we were willing to get PEGI-ed, so Maxim's first designs were slightly tame. Not only he had to design toilets that were supposed to work with a great deal of anatomies (we were not certain about every alien design, but even then we knew it would be no fun if everybody used them the same way), but it had to fit in the octagonal space the level design allowed. After many attempts, Maxim settled for a living plant-monster thing feeding off organic decays, and lovingly named it "Dawyjozon". Flo and I then worked on the animation routine of the two aliens we had, and then I tried to figure out for WAY TOO LONG WHY EXACTLY THE CLIENTS KEPT THE TOILETS WITH THEM OUTSIDE OF THE RESTROOM AND- well. I figured it out eventually, but this bug was the regular thing to expect at each new animation update. I'd say I stopped finding it hilarious reasonably fast, but I'm pretty sure the rest of the team disagrees.

(Fate thou have forsaken me (again))

When we reached our first serious milestone in January, things accelerated fast. At this point artists were not late, we already had 3 of the 4 aliens planned in the final game, 4 of the 6 structures, only one mini game of the 3 we ended up having and... And a serious design problem. In the state it was, the game was not really fun nor challenging. The systems worked but loosing was extremely hard. No tactics nor strategy were required, the world felt a bit flat, and we fell into a lot of lecture and interface issues. The playtests results we gathered that day helped us focus on the big picture a bit more efficiently.

(ultimately we remained excessively purple)

After that day, things get blurry for me. We were close to the deadline our teachers had set that forbade us to include any more design tweaks. I had until then to bend the system from an alien-observer simulator to an actual game. Louis worked hard on this with me, crafting two systems next to the first one. We brought the drinks into the game with various effects -they were a huge game-changer-, the last species made its way into the prototype and Maxim, now finished with most of the level design, slaved over the interface until we had something viable to show. My whole life became a programming battlefield night and day, but eventually, during the beta session our school had planned on an E-sport bar, we were somewhat ready. (okay the game crashed twice) (at least no unexpected toilet showed up) (so there's that)

(thanks to the people who tried the game and gave us feedback!)

Things were still not over. Not only we were entering the dreaded stage of debugging and tweaking, pixel-perfect territory and other annoyingly precise tasks, but Louis and I started tackling the dialogue bits of the game. Good bits. I had fun. It still was a very hard week of work. Over 800 possible dialogues were written for each species and nature.

About that time I also needed to tackle everything in the sound department. Originally I had great plans for a very complex soundtrack and tons of spatially localized VFX to bring the nightclub to life, and of course I had to cut my expectations drastically. I focused mostly on the feedback and the bare minimum for the aliens to be distinct from each other. And as for the original soundtrack, I had been working on finding the right type of ambiance for the game since the past year, but nothing truly satisfied me and time was running low. I settled for the main theme from "Messing With The Wrong Tentacle" and a few other themes to build around, and ended up with a decent amount of music that covered the game from intro sequence to the various types of game over the player could tumble upon. The code had been hard, but I'd say music had been one of my greatest enemies during the production. Yet I am still satisfied with the work I've put into the soundtrack with the limitations I had (Logic 5.5 on PC for the dinosaurs that have any idea of which version I'm talking about). And the deadline don't wait for your changes of heart.

(f you’re french you might get a song stuck in the head forever by staring too long at this GIF)

We also had to come to term with some of our mistakes. In design, the very limited moveset of the Bartender was thrown away to allow the player more reactivity and freedom, and we had to admit the hybrid tablet/PC thing we were going for simply did not work that well on PC, that ended up being our only platform. It's not as smooth an experience to drag and drop things with a mouse than with a finger. Many overcomplicated layers of User Interface were left in, as it was a bit too late to refine now. Visual feedback was clearly not as strong as what it should have been, the NPC/NPC dialogue system was a bit off and glitchy, and the dynamic light system never ended up in the final prototype. Still, we had a pretty solid game. So solid, in fact, the engine had troubles handling it. I had many concerns as to potential memory leaks or infinite loops, and as an honest confession I never properly learned how to code, so I could have been making critical mistakes without even knowing. As it turned out, and despite all the flaws in my code, our integration method that saved countless time on my part was actually destroying the engine's capacity. The direct consequence of that implied an utter inability for the game to load and run on various PC configurations. We rattled our brains to disarm the disaster, but despite a week of hard work re-cutting every sprite and reworking the texture packs until they ended up into somewhat acceptable range, the game could not run properly on many configurations regardless of any identifiable pattern. In the end, we gave up. I don't think Game Maker is the best engine to for an artstyle such as ours and the visual ambition we had (and despite all the blood, sweat, tears and overall blast I had working with it -it actually gave us plenty of other advantages that I'm really grateful for). In the end, what mattered was bringing this prototype to our end of the year reception and making it run. We tried the installer on the local computers. It ran. We had to accept the situation, at least for a time.

We packed the final prototype a Friday. But technically they were not checked until next Monday. Which was good given I found out one last bug the Saturday that made me run under a raging storm with clearly not enough clothing to re-upload the corrected version in the school.

Never piss off the Deadline Gods.

And at last. The first version of Xenophever was completed.

Then we had a month.

During this month, several things happened. First off we had to prepare the game presentation in front of professional guests, we finished the trailer properly, and then the dreaded question of "and what next ?" started peering from our empty taskboards.

We have been questioning the possibility of pursuing the game for several months now, but June was the deciding time in which the team agreed on its future.

In the end, Maxim and Valentine wanted to pursue their path on their own, and the rest of the team wishes them the best of luck in this decision and many great and inspiring projects to work on. For the rest of us, well... It seemed like we were going to be stuck together for a bit longer. The final day came at last. We were back in the Final Spot again, same place in which we had our open betas. During the morning, professionals played our games and exchanged feedbacks (and we are forever grateful for those, they're incredibly useful in our current refont -but more on that later). Then we finally presented our postmortem in front of a compact crowd alongside our classmates and their projects Bloom, Rio 2050  and Arashi. The burning afternoon passed by with a glass of custom Xenophever cocktail the adorable staff prepared for the occasion, and we ended the journey the evening on a french beach and even more alcohol. That's a life I can get behind.

(and since this day, Louis became a table and lived very happily ever after)

So yep. Our first attempt at Xenophever was packed and done. I honestly could have hardly dreamed of better production conditions and a better team. Many thanks to ArtFX and our teachers for making this happen, many thanks to our classmates for running the race alongside us -especially to the Bloom team who bared with us daily through our various debates on insect reproduction, politics, toilet and strip tease reunions or animation reference research (Florian probably wishes he could unsee a thing or two), many thanks to our families, friends, and everybody that followed us on social medias at the time. And at last, thanks to the team. Valentine and Maxim have been formidable companions and will always have a special place in the heart of Xenocorp. Here's a link to their respective Artstation platforms in case you want to show them some love anyway, because these guys deserve it : Valentine : https://www.artstation.com/ardal Max : https://www.artstation.com/tortosambrosini And then... Then we took July off. I was exhausted beyond anything possible, and if we were to take the hazardous road of indie development... We'd need some strengths.

Tomorrow, I'll uncover the last part of our journey ; the aftermath, and what the hell we've been doing with all that. Thanks for the read. Wow. This post is really long.

See you tomorrow ! Raquel (and Xenocorp as a whole), out.